#Luke being a dick

[dukeofthomas]

Pikkuveli by PMMP is such a Dick to Jaybin song...

[bright-eyes-strawberry-lies]

I love that Clarisse calls him "Sweet Luke" in The Lightning Thief Musical and I hope everyone at Camp Half-Blood calls him that. Unironically.

Like sometimes it's how Clarisse used it, younger kids about to school sweet old man Luke on what the kids are actually into these days. "Sweet Luke, no one says groovy anymore. You gotta stop hanging out with Dionysus and Chiron."

And sometimes it's a sort of curse like when Luke kicks some kid's butt at sword fighting. "Sweet Luke!" In the same tone as sweet Jesus.

Sometimes when someone has a crush on Luke, the other kids mock them. "Oh, sweet Luke, I'm so sorry to part but we'll meet again at pegasus riding lessons this afternoon."

[websurfshark]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!🐍🦇

[princemonday]

(pjo spoilers if you havent seen it yet but bestie the book came out almost 20 years ago....where u been)

this is just about the pacing and actual format of the show but i feel like lukes betrayal could've been so much more impactful if we actually saw more of luke (and his bond with percy) throughout the show. and i don't necessarily mean add more luke scenes. even just moving the scene of them training in the forest to half way through the show (or better yet the beginning) could've been a huge help. we learned the episode before that percy thinks its clarisse. we knew it wasn't going to be clarisse because we could tell there was supposed to be some grand revelation and him thinking its clarisse sort of eliminates her as the culprit. the way they framed it made it obvious luke was the traitor. annabeth is obviously not it. they already sorta went down the grover path. we know it's not going to actually be clarisse. what other kid were we introduced to? luke. by process of elimination it had to be him. and if you didn't already figure that out by then, adding the scene of luke and percy training and talking at the beginning of an episode that reveals the traitor when we haven't really seen luke for most of the show? pretty dead giveaway. we had maybe an episode or two actually at camp? we could've snuck the scene in there instead. or we could put the flashback at a more inconspicuous point like midway and not....literally the finale. like...idk the conversation luke had with percy in that scene felt like it would've reflected better in percy if we had seen it earlier. like...before he met his dad idk. i do recognize this show is for like 13 year olds and it's not that deep but 🤷🏻‍♀️

[sonofthedunes]

idea: luke thinks he has a normal-sized dick because he thinks he has normal-sized hands.

he's very wrong about both.

anon, i do not say this lightly: you are a genius.

from the moment teenage luke starts realizing that very…interesting things happen down there when he thinks about girls, and does what adolescent boys all over the galaxy do about it, he never considers that there’s anything unusual about his equipment. he’s far too shy to bring it up to another guy (even biggs), and there are only about 2 dozen girls his age on tatooine and none of them give a fuck about him. so luke enters the rebellion blissfully unaware of his…advantages.

until he meets a cute, nice girl in the rank and file who actually gives him the time of day, and the relationship progresses as relationships often do. on the fateful night he sneaks into her bunk to cast away his virginity (something she hasn’t had in quite some time), she blushes mightily when his hands span her waist; luke takes only the briefest notice of how much area he’s covering. and then he pulls down his pants, out it springs-

he’s completely bewildered as her face drains of color and her voice quivers “holy shit.”

and that is the moment luke skywalker learns both his hands and his dick could put those of most men in the alliance to shame.

[starlooove]

You put dick is retconned as Romani in the 90s so he’s white actually and Katy is retconned as Bruce’s cousin in the 2000s so she’s still his cousin in the same post? Ok

[gladiatorcunt]

complex and ultimately codependent father-child dynamics that either end in death of the characters or the relationship in media my beloved

[ray-elgatodormido]

Back at it again. This time with refs of the main ladies of Star Wars in this Dynasty Warriors au. Are the outfits practical? Not at all. Would Koei design these? Absolutely. Tho I’d give it a pass since they don’t wear armor in the movies.

With Padme I took inspiration from her lakeside dress and combined that with Wang Yuanji’s DW9 dress. Her weapon would be the caestuses things Zhang Chunhua has in DW8, tho with a rougher moveset. The weapon choice was mostly to give her a musou attack called “Aggressive Negotiations” where she does a barrage of punches n kicks.

I gave Leia this regal air for her costume (keep in mind they don’t really change outfits cause Dynasty Warriors logic) and gave her this intricate corset thing. The hair was inspired by Edelgard’s hairstyle in Fire Emblem Three Houses. And again, poofy sleeves. Her weapon would be a long chain whip simply for the idea of a musou attack called “Huttslayer”, it’s exactly what is sounds like. She’d wield it more like Gan Ning but with a more regal demeanour.

Rey’s a funny one cause she kinda looks like she randomly found the outfit while scavenging. Looking more like a dnd monk/bard combo than a scavenger. Did my best to make it look somewhat secure. I got the idea from Diao Chan’s DW6 design (Sweet n innocent face, less than innocent outfit) and DW9 Cai Wenji’s sleeves. Flowey cloth was a must, and I gave her pants n boots. Her weapon is also a funny one, cause I ditched the lightsaber and gave her this quarterstaff that doubles as a whip, she’d have this dancey martial arts moveset and does a bunch of acrobatics for the monkey vibes because why not?

I just like the idea of force users not having lightsabers. It’s also because there’s only so many movesets to be done with a lightsaber and in the context of musou games it’s best to avoid cloning movesets and weapons when possible.

Thinking of doing this with the guys this time. Cooking up ways to make them look sillier. Thinking of literally making Han look like a space cowboy. *evil laugh*

That is all. I shall go back to cooking up the rest of the cast.

[todayisafridaynight]

Oh god I need to know it anyone else noticed Nanba and Saeko have a different relationship than she has with anyone else in the group? Plus Ichiban’s most natural flirting is aimed at Zhao even without player input 😭😭😭

nanba and saeko def have a really cute relationship, i adore their interactions immensely (❁´◡`❁)

and lbr ichi's matching zhao's energy alright. insert zhao 'kasuga-kun' compilation here

[whalehouse1]

You don’t realize how much you hate how a character until you walk into a store and audibly groan so loudly over seeing them as the main selling point.

[stain-glass]

Chapter 12 - Biographical

Queequeg is the son of the chief/king of a pacific island that doesnt acutally exist. He wanted to see the land of the Christians and got on a boat (through shenanigans) and did odd jobs untill he realized that Christians were not more enlightened then he thought and sucked. But he still wanted to learn and take the good stuff back with him, though he isn't ready to go home yet cause he feels he has changed too much and wants to be babtized in his religion again before he returns. Also wants to sow his wild oats

They talk about where they are going and decide to go on the same ship to stay together. Ishmael is happy to stay with Queequeg and to have the experienced harpooner with him for whaling.

They embraced and forehead touch as they fall asleep again.

[zorilleerrant]

fortunately for me I'm immune to fandom arguments that any of the Batkids besides Dick, Babs, and Jason are ooc in any circumstance

that's totally in character for them to do because

that is a child (notoriously inconsistent) or

that is a teenager (notoriously inconsistent)

I expect some consistency to arise in the years after that - although it's still young adulthood, so there's plenty of room for acting wildly out of character to make sense in context - but only Dick, Babs, and Jason are old enough for that to apply.

[hecksupremechips]

I love to imagine Rebecca as trans like it just has become so ingrained in my mind it feels weird it’s not canon. She realized at a young age and her parents were supportive and let her present how she wanted and they used her name and pronouns, but they weren’t around enough to go the extra mile for her and make sure she was being protected. She was the target of some pretty bad bullying at school, both from the students and the staff, and Ashton was the first person to defend her. Ashton is cishet (cuz I think it’s funny) and hes kinda ignorant at first but he tries his best and he just likes Rebecca and wants good things for her and he’s so emo he scares away the bullies lol. And this was definitely a big part in Rebecca gaining feelings for him he just showed her this special kinda care that no one else ever did, and it’s what makes her extra insecure as the years go by. Cuz she wonders if maybe the reason Ashton never seems to reciprocate her feelings is because she’s trans and he just never thought to see her as romance material as a result. Which is a line of thinking that gets out of control really bad and she never gets to have the closure she wants with it either

She tells Isabella that’s shes trans just cuz they’re best friends and it sorta comes up eventually. Isabella was a tomboy growing up so she can definitely relate to the bullying shit pretty well and they are very protective of each other and vow to beat up anyone who talks shit about the other. They also just open each other’s minds a bit, Isabella helps Rebecca feel more comfortable in knowing there’s many different ways to be a woman, Rebecca helps Isabella maybe explore her feelings about her own gender and whether or not she’s really attached to womanhood. Zach finds out in a more casual way, it’s just something he learns cuz it felt weird that he was the only one who didn’t know and well. He’s a good guy, he wouldn’t mind. It’s not something the two of them ever talk about really, aside from bonding over a few shared experiences with having to deal with assholes. And really, being trans just isn’t something Rebecca wants to talk about too much, just because she’s gotten to a point where’s she’s experienced being stealth and she knows how quickly people can turn on you when they know, and she understandably doesn’t wanna deal with that shit. But because her friends are so supportive, she doesn’t exhale and let herself just exist naturally around them and it does help her feel less insecure about who she is

Sexuality wise I think she’s "straight" I think she’s spent most of her life looking at Ashton and just assuming she’d be with a man but once she finally gets to give up on him she has Moments with Isabella or like a certain fondness for Marianne and their shared love of history and other nerd shit and shes just like. Uh Oh 😟

[astorianyxkings]

Thinking about the Bats' reactions are sending me.

Jason would be so pissed off too. Like yeah he's currently strangling one of the captors but he's also like, "Loosing your touch, huh old man?". And he's complaining about how he's missing a good episode of Chopped for this.

Dick is honestly trying not to laugh, he's the eldest and the Oldest Daughter Syndrome™ is kicking in and he has to force himself not to comment on how Batman should be able to get out of here. Oracle is threatening him to stay quiet through comms.

Tim is pissed off because he was actually relaxing by watching a movie instead of solving a case, Steph is pissed because she drugged Tim's tea and he was supposed to pass out and sleep for the first time in 3 days.

Cass and Duke are actually untying their dad. Damian is chiding him for getting caught and making him drag Batcow into all of this.

Kate and Luke are an exasperated aunt and uncle duo and currently don't know how to fix this. Take the gun away from Alfred? Tell Superman to calm down? Call an ambulance?

Thank the gods no one told Harley her med school bestie was here.

Selina is hyping Clark up. "Yes, tell them off for taking our boyfriend!" Clark's in the middle of a lecture so he doesn't really process what she said.

Harper and Helena are rolling their eyes. They thought that this was serious. Like the people were going to unmask the giant furry serious. Instead they kidnapped him just to keep him busy while they try and smuggle cargo at the docs.

Thank the gods Damian didn't have time to call his Mother because Talia would not find this funny. Jason is seriously debating on telling her just so Bruce could get chewed out by her.

Alfred was truthfully about to loose his shit. And Gotham ain't ready for that.

If Clark is kidnapped, he knows without having to ask that Bruce is going to hunt him down with the help of the entire Justice League. They’ll find him! He’ll be fine!

If Bruce is kidnapped, he’ll just sit there — maybe getting lightly tortured — and dread the arrival of all 17 of his kids, one angry Kryptonian without his emotional support human, Alfred having a RED moment, the Batcow, and all of the active JL members who don’t hate him right now (Hal Jordan will probably still come with, but he will complain the entire time)

[obxsprincess]

Just Luke shoving your head into the pillows while he moans the filthiest words in your ear (someone take my phone away)

yesyesyes especially when he’s brat taming !!

——— ⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆

he watches you spring into another cabin boys arms after winning capture the flag, your hair all messy, giggling n laughing like a sweet perfect fool. his sweet, perfect fool. you looked so pretty. n luke knew the tall, asshole of a guy was thinking the same thing

he wasn’t ‘fuckin having it’

“I get, ya’ were just being friendly, princess. but that fuckers not thinking like that.” his hot breath fans the back of your neck, n you’d believe he was mad at you when he drops you onto your bed, all greedy n mean as he sucks hickeys all over your pretty tits

“agh b-ut luke, he was on my team n’ he helped us win-” his brown eyes furrow in annoyance, finally looking up. leaving your pebbled nipple glossy n achy from his salvia

“so you want to repay him? is that the fuckin case, cause he got the flag you want him sucking on these pretty tits mhm?” oh he is mad :(

“n-no I didn’t say tha-” you frown at the oh-so familiar tingle in your tummy, his hands moving lower and lower…

“nah it’s ok baby, wanted some time with my favorite girl anyways. just shush n’ let me give her some…attention”

you didn’t think he meant your pussy when he said his favorite girl :( n his way of shushing was shoving your face into your plushy, pink pillows. muffling your whines in the cotton things n your angelic whimpers when his cock slides into the warm, tight little fit of your gummy walls

“mhmm, fuck-fuck yeah, tightest little pussy I’ve ever felt. ahhhh fuck she grips me so good.” he’s moaning into your dizzy ear like he’s married to your pussy and your merely their for the ride “don’t she baby?” he coos

“l-luke auh! m’here too!” tears of salty jealousy brush your lash line ??

“f-fuck, shush princess. why can’t you be as good as this sweet little cunt? she’d never fuckkk let another dick inside of her.”

your mascara stains the pillow cases as you try to wiggle, clenching around his so tightly cause this is supposed to be about you!! n the angles so deep!! but his pounding thrusts made you forget all bratty sense. now he was just rubbing it in, groaning n moaning all over your flustered skin

“pretty pussy knows only I make you feel this good,”

“your” thrust “fuckin” thrust “mine” finally he was talking to you again!!

”m’ all yours l-luke! g-gonna mphmm! cum!” your squeals encourage his hips to snap against your soft ass even faster. his balls slapping against you shushing you even more than the fluffy pillows

“goddd I’m cumming inside my girl tonight, you thrust deserve it. this- fuck your dripping— pussys mine too right, ma?”

”y-yes!”

——— ⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆

[hotvintagepoll]

Congrats to the ultimate winner of the Hot & Vintage Movie Men Tournament, Mr. Toshiro Mifune! May he live happily and well where the sun always shines, enjoying the glories of a battle hard fought.

A loving farewell to all of our previous contestants, who are now banished to the shadow realm and all its dark joys and whispered horrors—I hear there's a picnic on the village green today. If you want to remember the fallen heroes, you can find them all beneath the cut.

What happens next? I'll be taking a break of two weeks to rest from this and prep for the Hot & Vintage Ladies Tournament. I'll still be around but only minimally, posting a few last odes to the hot men before transitioning into a little early ladies content, just like I did with this last tournament. The submission form for the Hot & Vintage Ladies tournament will remain up for one more week (closing February 21st), so get your submissions in for that asap! Once the form closes, there will be one more week of break. The first round of the Hot & Vintage Ladies Tournament will be posted on February 29th, as Leap Year Day seems like a fitting allusion to leaping into these ladies' arms.

Thanks for being here! Enjoy the two weeks off, and send me some great propaganda.

In order of the last round they survived—

ROUND ONE HOTTIES:

Richard Burton

Tony Curtis

Red Skelton

Keir Dullea

Jack Lemmon

Kirk Douglas

Marcello Mastroianni

Jean-Pierre Cassel

Robert Wagner

James Garner

James Coburn

Rex Harrison

George Chakiris

Dean Martin

Sean Connery

Tab Hunter

Howard Keel

James Mason

Steve McQueen

George Peppard

Elvis Presley

Rudolph Valentino

Joseph Schildkraut

Ray Milland

Claude Rains

John Wayne

William Holden

Douglas Fairbanks Sr.

Harold Lloyd

Charlie Chaplin

John Gilbert

Ramon Novarro

Slim Thompson

John Barrymore

Edward G. Robinson

William Powell

Leslie Howard

Peter Lawford

Mel Ferrer

Joseph Cotten

Keye Luke

Ivan Mosjoukine

Spencer Tracy

Felix Bressart

Ronald Reagan (here to be dunked on)

Peter Lorre

Bob Hope

Paul Muni

Cornel Wilde

John Garfield

Cantinflas

Henry Fonda

Robert Mitchum

Van Johnson

José Ferrer

Robert Preston

Jack Benny

Fredric March

Gene Autry

Alec Guinness

Fayard Nicholas

Ray Bolger

Orson Welles

Mickey Rooney

Glenn Ford

James Cagney

ROUND TWO SWOONERS:

Dick Van Dyke

James Edwards

Sammy Davis Jr.

Alain Delon

Peter O'Toole

Robert Redford

Charlton Heston

Cesar Romero

Noble Johnson

Lex Barker

David Niven

Robert Earl Jones

Turhan Bey

Bela Lugosi

Donald O'Connor

Carman Newsome

Oscar Micheaux

Benson Fong

Clint Eastwood

Sabu Dastagir

Rex Ingram

Burt Lancaster

Paul Newman

Montgomery Clift

Fred Astaire

Boris Karloff

Gilbert Roland

Peter Cushing

Frank Sinatra

Harold Nicholas

Guy Madison

Danny Kaye

John Carradine

Ricardo Montalbán

Bing Crosby

ROUND THREE SMOKESHOWS:

Marlon Brando

Anthony Perkins

Michael Redgrave

Gary Cooper

Conrad Veidt

Ronald Colman

Rock Hudson

Basil Rathbone

Laurence Olivier

Christopher Plummer

Johnny Weismuller

Clark Gable

Fernando Lamas

Errol Flynn

Tyrone Power

Humphrey Bogart

ROUND 4 STUNGUNS:

James Dean

Cary Grant

Gregory Peck

Sessue Hayakawa

Harry Belafonte

James Stewart

Gene Kelly

Peter Falk

QUARTERFINALIST VOLCANIC TOWERS OF LUST:

Jeremy Brett

Vincent Price

James Shigeta

Buster Keaton

SEMIFINALIST SUPERMEN:

Omar Sharif

Paul Robeson

FINALIST FANTASIES:

Sidney Poitier

Toshiro Mifune

and ok, sure, here's the shadow-bracket-style winner's portrait of Toshiro Mifune.