#Love Sprouts From a Misunderstanding

[spirit-of-anime]

Omoichigai ga Koi no Tane

[frannyzooey]

Warriors

Merry Christmas @papurgaatika !! I am your Secret Santa, and I had a blast writing this for you ❤️ We share a first love of Din and writing this made me realize just how much I've missed him! I hope this is everything you wished for and more -- and I hope you have an amazing holiday!! 🎄❄️🎄❄️

Pairing: Din Djarin x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

--

You first spotted him on the outer reaches of the galaxy. 

His beskar armor demanded to be seen, a surprising choice for someone who worked in the shadows. But while the first time you saw him was a flash at the edge of the market, it wasn’t the first time he had seen you. 

He’d been watching you for weeks. 

The bounty on your head was a high one: a disgruntled old boss with a lot of credits, and even more vindictiveness. You’d been skipping from planet to planet, earning anything you could from spare jobs, and stealing whenever you had to. You knew your luck had to run out one day, but you always thought you’d be able to talk your way out of it. 

It’s a misunderstanding, you’d say. Let me tell you my side of the story. 

Just your luck that the bounty hunter who finally caught you wouldn’t budge an inch. 

He was stoic, solid. Impenetrable, just like his armor. The very size of his body intimidated you, but it had nothing on what you felt when he stared. The helmet he constantly wore hid everything from you, and even though you couldn’t see his expression, you still tried to plead your case.

It was like arguing with a wall. 

You pressed, and he remained silent. You explained, and he stood eerily still. You begged, and he said nothing.

Eventually, he admitted that the begging did it. 

That, and the fact that he needed a babysitter – for a child just as stubborn as he was. 

Weeks spent watching the Child and waiting around for him had your nerves strung tight, and sleep pulled at your dry eyes. You knew he was just as tired, but he was being infuriatingly stubborn – as usual. 

“Just take the bed,” he urged. 

“You’ve been out there for over two weeks,” you argued back, gesturing outside the ship. “Not a chance. You need sleep.”

“I’ll sleep in the cockpit.”

“Why, when you could stretch out?” you pushed back. 

His sighs were always these weighted things – thick with impatience, paired with hands on his hips and a tip of his helmet. The sound of it made you cringe when he did it to bounties, made you smile when he did it to the kid – but now, it made you frustrated. Annoyed. 

You crossed your arms over your chest, standing firm. He could be stubborn, but so could you. 

“The kid’s been down for ages, Mando. Take advantage of it.”

“And where will you sleep?” he pressed. 

“On the floor. Up in the cockpit. Wherever.” 

“On the floor?” He stared you down, and it took everything you had not to avert your eyes. 

“Hey,” you called him out. “Don’t try to intimidate me. It’s not going to work.”

He remained silent, and you huffed with annoyance. 

“Please,” you sighed. “I’m tired, you’re tired, the kids asleep. You need rest. Just take the bed.”

You turned to climb the ladder to the cockpit, and his voice stopped you. 

“Want to share it?”

–

Whatever sleep you thought you’d get, you were kidding yourself. 

The hulk of this man was a furnace next to you: the broad span of his shoulders blocking out the hull, the width of his chest shielding you, the bulk of his thighs pressed against your own. Insisting you take the side closest to the wall, you couldn’t even crawl out of the cot to go sleep somewhere else without waking him up – and that was the last thing you wanted to do. 

Okay, maybe not the last. 

The last thing you wanted was for him to wake up because you couldn’t stop squirming. 

Paired with the heat of his body, the ache that gathered at the crux of your thighs made it impossible to sleep. It sprouted at his proximity, blossomed at the reminder of his strength, and grew with each of his deep, steady exhales. It pooled in the cradle of your pelvis, flooding through your hips and down. 

Gingerly, you rolled onto your side – but his hips lined up too much with your ass for you to ignore. You tried your other side, but the crook of his neck called to you. You tried your back, and that’s when he spoke. 

“Is something the matter?”

You startled, unaware that he’d been awake this whole time. That kriffing helmet. 

“Can’t sleep, I guess.”

He hummed, the sound going straight to your core. “Not enough space?”

It really wasn’t, but you found yourself not wanting to admit it. It was either this or the cold, uncomfortable cockpit and being curled up next to him was the better option. 

Even if you ended up going mad with want. 

“No,” you replied. “It’s fine.”

He nodded, going still. 

Your eyes ran up the length of his forearm, over the bulk of his bicep. You pictured his arm lifting to rest itself across the dip of your waist, and imagining the weight of it, you let out a shaky exhale. Closing your eyes, you leaned into the fantasy: his hand sliding underneath the band of your thermals, cupping you wholly between your legs. His fingers sliding inside of you with a stretch, your thighs parting to make room for his thick wrist. Slick pooled along your seam and dripped out, and you shifted again on the cot. 

This time, his hand stilled you. 

“Do you want me to sleep somewhere else?” 

“No,” you blurted out, embarrassed. “No. I’m sorry.”

“Do you want…something else?” 

Your cheeks flooded with warmth, and you turned your head to look at him. “Like what?”

He shrugged, the shadowed round of his shoulder moving in the darkness. “You tell me.”

–

It didn’t take long after that to be buried underneath the bulk of his body. 

Every inch of skin that you dreamt about for months bared for your touch, you couldn’t stop exploring him – the fragrant crook of his neck, the smooth planes of muscle that covered his back, the trim sides of his torso and his soft belly dusted with hair. He seemed to revel in your touch, and you imagined that to be the case, with how often he was covered head to toe. 

His hips fit neatly within the cradle of your thighs, and when he filled you with a swift, precise push forward, a flutter erupted in your belly at the idea that he might fuck like he hunts – with competence and skill. Your back arched off his cot to take him deeper, and he groaned in your ear. 

“Fuck, you feel good,” he praised, his knees shifting wider for purchase. His hips kissed the inside of your thighs with every roll forward, his weight spreading them wider underneath his strokes, and your hands splayed across his chest when he pushed himself up on his hands to stroke deeper, harder. Scars littered his chest, memories of his past permanently etched into his skin and something about it tugged at you – the idea that he always came out on top, but paid a price to get there.

Wanting to give him the rest you knew he deserved, you tugged him down on top of you and rolled your bodies until you straddled his lap – a sight that made him hum with appreciation. He tried to sit up to join you, but you pushed him back down. 

“I said you need rest, Mando,” you reminded him of your earlier words, your hips rolling in time with every upwards push of his. The filling heft of his cock had your mouth dropping open, and though you couldn’t see his face, you knew his eyes were fixed on it. “Let me – let me do the work.”

“Okay,” he eventually agreed, his thumb finding the bud of your clit. A few swipes of his touch had you keening, and he rested his other arm back behind his head, as if getting comfortable to watch the show. “I’ll watch while you make yourself come this time, sweet girl. But the next one?”

You moaned, your hips rocking faster against his – forwards into the swirling pressure of the pad of his thumb, and backwards onto the filling thickness of his cock. 

“The next one is mine.”

–

After that first night, he never let you sleep anywhere else. 

The cot much too small for two bodies, you made do by always being joined in one way or another: your limbs entwined, your body draped over his, his cock nestled inside you. Days and sometimes weeks without him at your side, he stripped bare every time he crawled in next to you, loathe to waste any moment without your skin touching his. 

Your face fit into the crook of his neck perfectly, his arm wrapped around your waist just right. For someone that spent so long by himself, it was clear that he was touch starved, but as you found out, so were you. 

Two lonely stars, colliding in a galaxy. 

You got used to his moods and he got used to yours. A routine came easy: you played the mechanic to his pilot, the babysitter to his parent, the vessel for him to pour his love into. And he did, every chance he could get. 

In the cockpit, poured into your mouth. 

In the hull of the ship, splashed along your back. 

In his cot, every single night, in every single way possible – smeared across your chest, pooled on your soft belly, flooded into the depths of your cunt. 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise what happened after that, but it was. 

–

Seated on the edge of the worn exam table, you swallowed hard against a cough that rose in your chest. It tickled the base of your throat, demanding relief and you tucked your face into the crook of your elbow and let out a wet cough, your lungs heavy and sore. 

You had caught it from a bounty, a filthy vagrant that Mando had hauled up the ramp earlier that month. Due to a few choice words that the bounty spit at you, Mando made sure to freeze him (none too kindly) right away, but not before the stranger coughed with force in the small space. 

Not one to see a doctor for his own ailments, you were surprised when he demanded you see one after a couple weeks of the lingering cold. Leaving him waiting in the lobby, you smiled at the immediate berth the other patients gave him when he sat down. 

You picked at your finger, suppressing the urge to cough again. 

The medical droid reassured you. “You’ll be fine. All life signs for you and the child are reading in good condition.”

“The child?” you asked. The kid wasn’t sick, and he wasn’t even here.

“Looks like it’s just a cough. The baby is fine – all vitals are measuring optimal.”

You froze, unable to reply. 

The baby. 

“The…baby?”

The droid laughed, modulated and carefree like their words didn’t just shatter your whole existence. “A couple months along, I’d say. Do you want to listen?”

Gently lifting your tunic, they pressed a monitor to the curve of your stomach and the pulsing heartbeat that met your ears brought instant tears to your eyes. 

“There, there,” the droid soothed, handing you a tissue. “Sounds healthy!”

You walked back to the ship in a daze, your surroundings a blur, your mind stuck on a loop of worry.

He never asked for this. 

This is no life to raise a child in. 

The ship – the ship barely fits the three of you, where the maker is a baby going to go?

The endless questions ate away at you for the rest of the evening, every worst case scenario coming true in your mind. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

On his side facing you, Din (a name he had long ago whispered to you in the darkness of his cot) ran his touch along your arm. He tucked you closer, rubbing your back. “You still feel sick?”

Your cheek rested against the firm heat of his chest, and you listened to his heartbeat – so like the one you heard earlier today. They sounded the same, and tucked safely next to his bulk, you murmured the words into his neck. 

“I’m going to have a baby.”

His visor tilted downwards just as his hand tipped your chin up. He looked down at you, and you wished desperately that you could see his face. Your lip trembled when he said nothing, and he cleared his throat. 

“I…wanted to wait,” he started, and your face crumbled. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, cutting him off. Your voice wavered, and you looked away. “I –”

“Stop.” His commanding voice halted your sentence mid-speech. His hold slid from your chin to your cheek, cupping the soft curve. 

“I wanted to wait,” he repeated, softer this time. “Until we could find someone to do the ceremony.”

Your face scrunched in confusion, and he dragged the pad of his thumb across your cheekbone, collecting a stray tear.

“We have a special ceremony we perform, when we bind ourselves to someone for life. It involves…taking our helmet off, so they can see us. So they can know us, better than anyone else.”

Your gaze transfixed on his visor, you held your breath as he reached for the edge of his helmet. 

“You already know me better than anyone else, so…”

He lifted the helmet up, and for the first time, you saw his face. 

He was beautiful – warm, rich brown eyes, ringed with thick lashes. A strong nose, a plush mouth. Stubble that scattered across his cheeks, a moustache that you never would have imagined. His curls were dark and mussed, and you envisioned a baby in your arms with the same color hair. 

The grin that broke across his face was almost as beautiful as the face itself – and every worry you had vanished at the sight of it. 

He cleared his throat, and when he spoke, the sound of his real voice brought fresh tears to your eyes. 

"We are one when together, we are one when parted.” He recited the vows and his hand took yours, placing it on his chest. He let his own touch rest along the curve of your belly. “We will share all, we will raise warriors."

You sobbed, and he laughed – a new, treasured sound that made you cry even harder. 

“You have to repeat it,” he teased. 

Focused on his voice – his real voice, the feeling of hearing it for the first time overwhelming you – you took a deep breath, and stared into his eyes. 

“We are one when together, we are one when parted.” A hitch in your breath broke the vow, and he smiled, his fingers splaying across your skin. “We will share all, we will raise warriors.”

[rubyarerosies]

got a youth of may inspired angst kinda rant with gojo if anyone wants to know hehe

(tw. cheating? (not on mc) death, injuries, kinda toxic idk)

Gojo’s a Lieutenant General in military and you’re his favourite nurse, obvious reason, you’re his girlfriend of 3 years. You both met during your stay in medical school and his 3 week training for medical assistance - dates and hard fucking were what sprouted this love. Your the first nurse he calls when he’s injured, he always comes to your office during your lunch break if he has time, and he always kisses you and his promise ring when he leaves for a mission domestically or internationally.

But things started to change when your branch was sent to a city where martial law was declared, and Gojo had to stay because a Lieutenant General was already placed for duty there. You both did your best in keeping contact, but with the amount of shifts you were put on due to military violence held you back in the hallways of the hospital. Misunderstandings happen as Gojo worries over your long absences and you worry during your shifts at the hospital on whether or not if you should talk to him - would it end up being an argument? You stop texting and he’s at his wits end. That’s until your cousin, also a nurse back at home, started becoming your emissary because of your turmoil.

It hurts me but Gojo starts to become attached to your cousin, starting to enjoy her company more than what she initially came to tell him about you. But Gojo wouldn’t pursue her if he was still with you - you’re still precious to him, you’re still someone he loves, so he breaks it off over the phone.

“Is it her?” - “…Yeah,”

“Why her?” - “She’s here.”

You don’t hear from her or him after that, you figure she feels out of place to talk to you now that she’s somewhat got feelings for her cousins ex boyfriend. And Satoru, you figure he’s wallowing in a pit of shame, although it must not as deep as you expect since he wasn’t scared to say it over the phone, or keep it secret for a bit at home (you don’t think you want to call that city home anymore)

“Shoko told me there’s not much they hide over there,” Suguru’s voice is soft, you don’t want his pity - but you rethink it when his next words come out cautiously it sends an uncomfortable tremor in you.

“…She also said he doesn’t wear his ring anymore,”

Blah Blah Blah, time goes on. You try to work on yourself but with such little time on your hands, there’s only so much you can do for yourself. But Suguru helps the best he can, he’s a good friend - almost too good that your chest doesn’t tremble with sadness when he starts to talk about Satoru and your cousins status (he only does it when you ask, and he makes sure to double check if you’re really sure he can talk about - ‘she’s ranked up, she sits in your old office now’ ‘Shoko growled them off the other day for spilling disinfectant over the infirmary floor, she called them ugly hounds’)

There’s a big city commotion that happens, and martial law calls for back up. Overnight, reinforcements are sent over.

Gojo happens to stumble into your infirmary with a dislocated shoulder, his head held down low as he sits on the bed, his mind screams about the nostalgia of it all. You walk in and grimace a bit, then heave out a sigh. It’s silent on your part, you only give him sharp answers when he asks how you’ve been and if you’ve been doing ok. Satoru feels his stomach backflip when he feels your touch across his shoulder, collarbone and chest, your hands feel like fire but so soft simultaneously. He also feels something cold, and it makes him shiver, he looks down - your promise ring.

“Don’t feel so special, I wasn’t going to let this dust up in my drawer, it’s a nice ring.”

When you leave, you bump into your cousin who looks frantic. It’s awkward until she asks where he is, you point to the closed curtain and she leaves with a bitter taste in her throat (she was there on sight ready to help him, but he had already asked for your assistance out of instinct)

Gojo resumes his duties, but this time, he stays here. Suguru says it’s because the other Lieutenant generals wife just had their first born so he went back home.

After the first city commotion, more happens, the people are restless. You understand them, it’s not nice law abiding a more corrupt ‘government.’ Gojo too, he doesn’t like how the higher ups order so much violence against the public, but to save face for his position he stays quiet. You don’t. You join the people and Satoru watches.

It’s now routine to always bump into him. Your cousin now works at your hospital, so you’re bound to see him when he comes to visit and pick her up if he can. He tries to befriend you, but you don’t want that.

Satoru sees you forget your ID one day when entering the hospital in casual clothes, the soldiers at the door must be new because they start to become aggressive. You’re shoved on the floor and before you could be slapped, Gojo steps in and takes it on his shoulder - his injured shoulder.

And that’s how you end up hold an ice bag on the swelling area of his shoulder. Satoru uses his thumb to smoothe out your eyebrows, saying how you’re scary with a glare. And when you finally look up, you see his dog tag is paired with his promise ring, when you ask about it he says, “Didn’t have the heart to throw it in my draw as well,”

This is where things start to get confusing with our lovebirds? Gojo is being confusing; he likes you cousin, he really does, but he thinks he still loves you, and Y/N won’t open up to him about the possibility of dating him again because of how poisonous it is to think about how they ended before.

Satoru decides for the both of you when he comes back for a checkup and lets it slip that he misses you, and when you look up, he kisses you, his hand cradling your hand with the promise ring and pulling it against his chest to connect it with his.

However, you don’t take kindly to his actions and slap him after. He whispers he loves you when you leave. After leaving himself, he goes over to his girlfriend’s apartment and apologises.

“Why?” - “She’s here now, and that’s all I needed”

You do your best at pushing him away, but he’s persistent. It starts to annoy you that you beg your superior to change your shifts, but no matter what, he’s always there like shadow.

“Y/N,” he says sternly, but you don’t falter in your haste to seem against the idea, “7PM, tonight,”

“I can’t leave until 9,” - “7PM, I’ll carry you if I have to,”

You get carried out at 7PM but the date is cut short after a curfew was set at 8PM, Satoru says he didn’t know about this. The 2 dates you go to after the first is not out of your will, but you would say the ones after aren’t.

It’s after a month when Satoru says he loves you again, and this time to your face. You think it’s because of how damn serious everything is starting to crumble, he came back to the infirmary a week ago with a very nasty concussion and gashes and there was a sliver of panic in him that he wouldn’t make it without telling you how much you meant to him. So he confessed to you the week after.

“I know you don’t have the answer right now, come back to me tomorrow night and I’ll wait for you, always,”

You don’t give him an answer, mind too muddled after a change of events these past couple of months, but you give him your ring as a promise that you will come back if not tomorrow, and he gives his to you as a reminder that you always have a part of his heart. You leave his room after that, and when you do, you notice it’s past curfew. The rural areas of the city are quite scary to walk by, especially the trees.

Long story short, you see a kid in the woods afraid of making their way home because of how brutal they’ve come to realise the military men were, you do your best in walking them out but get shut down when a soldier drives past and sees your white uniform in within the trees. He’s yelling, calling you a traitor for conspiring with the public with such suspicion. You tell the kid to run when you stand up and he does, your hands are lifted and you turn around when the soldier spots the kid disappear into the trees.

He shoots you in the chest, you think it pierced your lung, and you drop to the ground. He leaves you in that woods but you’re just thankful he didn’t pursue that precious child into the woods. Your chest heaves with heartbreak each shallow breath you take - Satoru, your eyelids feel heavy the more you take a breath. You love him, despite it all, you love Satoru - always have, always did.

Your eyes reach the sky, it’s flimmering with birght stars. You think if you concentrate hard enough, it’ll show you the cosmos that are in Satoru’s eyes. You take the ring out of your pocket and do you best with one hand to slide it on your ring finger.

“I do, Satoru, I do.”

You do love him, and you think broadly if he had asked for your hand you would’ve replied the same as well.

It’s 4 years after you disappeared - only Satoru thinks that, but others beg to differ. After the martial law was overrun in that city, violence was eradicated and Satoru decided to no longer pursue his fight as a military man - that time of his life showed him that being a part of the military wasn’t what his morals were - plus it wasn’t what you wanted too.

After you hadn’t showed the night after, he clutched your ring tightly to manifest that you would come back to him someday - but he didn’t mean 3 years later.

“It’s - It’s her, they found her,” Suguru whispers, and Satoru stops. Time stops for him, everything stops.

Satoru is brave, the bravest soldier his superior would preach about, but he isn’t brave enough to see what was left of you. So he clutches the ring that was found with you, his wails come violently like his soul is being ripped from him. Your cousin is the only one to comfort him, she’s no longer bitter about everything because if that didn’t happen she wouldn’t have met her now husband and son. So she comforts him as a thank you.

After a month, Satoru visits your grave. He weeps at your photo, his body curled on the grass; he’ll never see you again, he’ll never remind you how his love bleeds for you every time, and he’ll never know what you wanted to say that night.

He loved you for three years, still loved you for another and will forever love you until he gets to greet you again.

His dog tag dangles with both your rings.

“I’ll keep these clean for you for the next time I see you, my love, wait for me okay?”

[malemusktf]

Manipulative Musk

Taylor and Lennox were best friends since childhood, growing up in a small town and facing the typical struggles of adolescence together. As they grew into young men, their paths diverged - Taylor became a muscular, confident man with piercing blue eyes and a defined face, while Lennox remained tall and lean, with curly hair and piercing blue eyes. Despite their differences, their bond remained strong, until a recent argument threatened to tear them apart.

It was a typical Saturday night at their favorite pub, where they would meet to catch up and unwind after a long week. Taylor and Lennox were sitting at the bar, nursing their drinks, when Taylor brought up the argument that had been weighing on his mind.

'Hey man, can we talk about what happened the other day?' Taylor said, his voice serious.

Lennox looked up, taking a deep breath before responding. 'Yeah, of course. I've been thinking about it too.'

Their heated argument had stemmed from a misunderstanding, but it had left a rift between them. As they began to discuss it, Taylor's words became more and more manipulative. He twisted the events to make himself look like the victim and Lennox the one at fault.

As they talked, Lennox began to feel confused and disoriented. He couldn't believe that he could have been in the wrong, but Taylor's words were so convincing. As they finished their drinks, Taylor suggested they go to his house to continue the conversation in a more private setting.

Feeling on edge and unsure of himself, Lennox agreed. As they walked to Taylor's house, Lennox couldn't shake the strange feeling that something was off. But before he could voice his concerns, Taylor pushed him into the basement, the musty smell of old furniture and sweat hitting his senses.

'What's going on Taylor?' Lennox asked, his voice shaky.

Taylor didn't respond, instead he began to undress, revealing his muscled, hairy body. Lennox's eyes widened in shock and confusion. He had never seen this side of Taylor before. As Taylor got closer, the smell of raw man stink, musk, and sweat became overwhelming. Lennox's mind and body were being taken over by the potent scent, as if it was a form of mind control.

Taylor's body was emitting a strange green smoke from his pits, crotch, and breath. Lennox couldn't resist the intoxicating scent, and before he knew it, he was fully under Taylor's control.

'You want to be like me, Lennox. Strong and powerful. You want to serve me and worship my body,' Taylor said, his voice deep and commanding.

Lennox's mind was clouded with the manipulative thoughts planted by Taylor. He couldn't think straight or remember why they were arguing in the first place. All he knew was that he wanted to be like Taylor, to please him and be his only friend.

As Taylor's green smoke continued to wrap around Lennox's body, he could feel himself changing. His muscles began to grow, his chest and abs becoming defined. Thick chest hair sprouted from his pecs, and a huge forest of armpit hair also appeared. He could feel the power and confidence of Taylor overtake him.

'Now you are like me, Lennox. We are bonded together in musk and strength. We will be the only ones for each other,' Taylor said triumphantly.

Lennox looked at himself in amazement, feeling a new sense of power and purpose. He and Taylor would forever be joined in their love for musk and each other's bodies.

From that day on, Taylor and Lennox were inseparable. They ruled over their small town with their strength and confidence, always side by side. They were known as the most powerful and feared men in the town, with their musk and bond keeping them united.

And so, with the manipulation and influence of Taylor, Lennox's life took an unexpected turn. But for the two men, it was the beginning of a powerful and unbreakable friendship, bonded by their love for the manly scent that brought them together.

[yumeka-sxf]

Even though today's new chapter was pretty funny, it also reinforces how Damian's need to act indifferent and even hostile towards Anya stems from emotional baggage from his family - whether it's brainwashing, strict discipline, or something else, we see how he's so afraid to show even a minute trace of feelings towards a "commoner" that he has to go through hoops just to ensure no one else sees him give Anya a gift.

What could the Desmond family have instilled in him that gives him such aversion to anyone of a lower social standing? I hope we find out someday. But at the same time, this chapter also gave me the impression that Damian doesn't like having to put on this jerk act in front of everyone. He seemed annoyed and exhausted that he had to do all this just to repay a debt, a debt which no one was demanding of him. Despite all the insults he hurls, the kid has morals and dignity. So it's a shame he feels such a strong need to supress that (he and Twilight have a lot in common in that regard. Twilight is simply better at hiding his real feelings since he's an adult and has been doing it much longer).

However, Damian seems okay with showing only Anya his softer side (when no one else is looking of course). Probably because, unlike all the other Eden kids, she's not from a high-class family with whom the Desmonds have to put on airs with.

While I'm not nearly as into Damianya as Twiyor, I can appreciate them as a cute future couple when they're older, with the seeds of that future relationship slowly sprouting in the series (though nothing romantic now of course as they are only 1st graders). Endo brought back Damian's "shojo filter" in this chapter, which was at maximum strength! (Is Damian secretly a CLAMP fan? 😂)

It's only at the end of the chapter, when the debt is repaid and Damian can finally relax, that he's able to see Anya's natural cuteness, without the shojo filter (his expression here looks like one of Twilight's...they really do have a lot in common!)

What's also interesting is that, compared to some of their early confrontations, Anya never returned Damian's insults until recently, maybe around the end of the bus hijacking arc. In the beginning of the series, she seemed to not know how to act when faced with bullying and was just focused on getting Damian to be friends with her. Now she openly returns his jabs with her own.

This could be because she's confident that they're friends now, so she doesn't have to hold back and can match his insults without worry. Or maybe she's just learning how to better deal with hostility her own way? Or she's just copying his bad manners...hard to say 😅

I like how Endo brought back Damian's promise to repay Anya for the handkerchief incident. From what I've gathered reading the manga fanbook, he tries hard not to leave plot points unaddressed. Which brings me to another highlight of this chapter - mention of Melinda again!

I knew Endo wouldn't forget about her, but I've also been wondering when she would return as a prominent figure in the plot. This chapter raises the question of why she's so intent on Damian and Anya becoming friends...is it simply because Yor would like that, and she wants to be good friends with Yor? Or is there some ulterior motive behind the scenes?

Even though stories focused on the Eden kids aren't typically my favorites, I actually really enjoyed this chapter! It had the great SxF comedy I love of misunderstandings between the characters leading to hilarious moments - Emile and Ewen think Damian wants to duel Anya, Becky thinks Anya wants to spend alone time with him because she's in love, Damian just wants to give Anya the gift to clear his conscience, and Anya just wants to eat the cakes!

(I love how Endo made Anya's mouth slightly watering throughout the chapter whenever she's thinking of the cakes!)

It's hard to tell if this was just a stand-alone chapter or if it will lead to a continuation of the "plan C" thing brought up a while back. I hope it does if it means we get to learn more about Melinda and the Desmond family overall!

[thefabledpheasant]

Gwaine: “There are not many things that I wouldn’t readily give you if you asked for it, but this…. Us… I cannot. I would never do something that caused you harm. Every second that you are with me instead of him, I am harming you.”

Merlin: “Gwaine, please. You don’t harm me, it’s not like that. It doesn’t pain me to be with you!”

Gwaine takes Merlin’s face in his hands.

Gwaine: “Merlin… I do not misunderstand your affections for me. I know that, if a certain prince weren’t around, you would follow me to the ends of the earth. I know how you feel for me. I know this, just as I know that if Arthur were falling off a cliff, your back would sprout wings so you could catch him.”

Merlin’s head hangs limply in defeat. He can’t deny Gwaine’s words. He’s read him as clear as words on a scroll. There is nothing and no one he would put before Arthur, past or present. Their souls were sewn together by the hands of Gods. His heart isn’t his to give, it belonged to another before he was even born.

Merlin: “…I love you.”

Gwaine’s face contorts into a pained smile as his heart finally splits. The words he’s always wanted to hear from the mouth of the man he desired to hear it from. But it’s said like an apology, not a declaration.

Gwaine: “It’ll pass.”

———

I wrote this as inspo from this post by @poisonedfate Mergwaine angst

[yeowangies]

mutual understanding

Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV | CHAPTER V: Shiny green sprouts

PAIRING: Kenpachi/AFAB!Reader CONTENTS: AU - Fantasy, Medieval, Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Pining, Explicit Sexual Content, Virginity Loss. WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Explicit sexual content, lots of dialogue, minor yumichika/ikkaku. WORDCOUNT: 3518

Summary:

Kenpachi realized a few things as your relationship bloomed.

Notes:

Oh i'm sooooooooo happy with this chapter! It was fun to write, and I didn't think i'd enjoy it so much to explore ken's pov. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as i did writing it 😭

This is the last chapter and i'm happy to finish this wonderful story! I love these two so much that i wanna add more chapters with a little more plot as well, but since i'm not sure if or when will that be, the story shall end here for now. Thank you for reading 💖

header by me, divider by @/saradika

taglist: @actuallysaiyan @lol-ktr @vrgelivvvv @pennameyoruichiii @hikariandptakchleb @thebestgirlever2 @tequila-coffee-things

Kenpachi had pictured you in his fantasies several times. Different activities, different places, different circumstances; but you were always there, tempting him. He didn’t think he’d ever get to experience any of them, but after that first night you two had sex, he’d let himself hope for more.

He didn’t think you’d have so much initiative, however. He couldn’t help but grin as you bounced on his lap one night, bracing your hands on his chest as you pleasured yourself on his cock. 

The alcohol was probably a factor in what you were currently doing, but Kenpachi knew you weren’t drunk. A little tipsy and on the happier side maybe, but you had gotten to the bedroom without his help; moreover, you had wrapped your arm around his, clinging for a minute before you started tugging at his hand to make him hurry up,and he let lead, dragging him down the hall. 

For someone so small, you had a lot of conviction, and it only took a second to make him remove his clothes when you got to the bedroom. He didn’t put up a fight, obviously; he was intrigued and incredibly turned on to see you so eager to fuck him, kissing him as if your life depended on it. The way he had kissed you since that first time. 

The sight was amazing, your breasts bouncing every time you moved up and down, moaning with your head thrown back in ecstasy. Kenpachi didn’t want to close his eyes, engraving your every curve in his memory. Just in case he had to be apart from you in the future, this was what he wanted to remember: you, completely bare, covered in beads of sweat, as you shamelessly impaled yourself on his dick. 

His hips bucked upwards, seeking more of your wet heat, and you hummed every time the head of his cock hit inside you just right. He was hoping you’d pick up the pace, and he encouraged you to hurry up with a firm grip on your hips to guide you, but you only seemed to care about your own pleasure at that moment, making him groan like a wounded animal. 

“It feels so good…” You purred, looking down at him with hooded eyes. 

You bit your lip as you slid one hand up his cheek, stroking softly. 

Kenpachi wasn’t used to those kinds of gestures, not even during sex, but he wasn’t going to say no to it. Every time you touched him his skin burned, and he’d gladly set himself on fire for you. Chasing your touch, he turned his head towards your hand, licking your finger before you put your thumb in his mouth. He eagerly sucked on it with a salacious smirk plastered on his face at the same time. Grunting when your walls around him clenched, he figured you probably really liked what he was doing. 

Holding your hips tightly, he thrust up, hitting deep inside you again as you let out a loud whimper. He picked up a rhythm to his own liking, watching with amusement as you stuttered to get coherent words out of your mouth as he slid his cock in and out of you. 

“Wait, Ken- Please, give me a sec-” You pleaded, dragging your nails down his chest. 

Kenpachi groaned in response, even more turned on than before. It was like you were made for him. 

You were still finding yourself when it came to sex, sometimes even explicitly asking him for certain things, and he was more than eager to please you every time. But moments like that night were spontaneous, and you carried yourself with that self assurance that he had enjoyed greatly since the first moment he saw you; those were the moments when he found out how perfect you were for him. Some women had tried to tame him and molded him for themselves, the few braves enough who thought they could anyway; but you weren’t even trying, and yet you were succeeding. 

“You had been teasing me for too long,” He squeezed your hips before dragging his hands towards your chest. “You shameless woman.”

“I wasn’t- Ah!” Whatever else you were about to say died in your throat when he slammed his hips particularly hard. 

Kenpachi rammed into you, smacking his hips against your ass, his orgasm getting closer and closer. With his hands on your tits, he groped them roughly, tugging at your nipples, earning a stuttered whine from you. It worked well for him that your chest was so sensitive, your breasts were marvelous and he’d gladly play with them all the time. 

He knew how close to the edge you were as well. Your hips kept grinding down on him at an uneven pace, and your moans were getting louder, little signs that gave you away. Sliding a hand down your stomach, he ran his thumb over your clit, stroking with pressure and obvious intent. Your body shuddered instantly, slanting forward on his chest, digging your nails on his shoulders. It made his cock throb inside your heat. 

“Oh God, I’m-” You whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing your body to his.

“Come on, baby,” Kenpachi encouraged you, giving your clit all of his attention as he glided his dick in and out. “I wanna feel you come.”

Moans and whines left your lips against the skin of his neck, and it only spurred him on. He slid his hand over your ass, grabbing it roughly, making you scream when he slapped it harshly. 

It only took a couple more thrusts before you were coming, quivering as you rolled your hips, riding out your orgasm. Your insides tightened around his cock, bringing him closer to his own release than he expected. 

With a firm grip on your waist, Kenpachi rolled you over, pressing your back to the mattress before he started slamming his hips against yours, seeking his own pleasure. You let out little gasps as he stroked every spot inside you with his cock. He took pleasure in knowing you only made those noises for him and no one else. 

“Fucking hell!” He groaned against your neck, holding tight onto your hips.

Burying his cock deep inside you, he spilled his cum as he came, practically growling into your shoulder, seeing stars behind his lids. Gliding his length in and out until you had milked out every last drop of his load, he pressed his body against yours, panting against your skin. 

Your hands were on his back, softly caressing him, as you both caught your breaths. Kenpachi found the gesture extremely calming, even though he wasn’t used to the feeling. Pulling away after a few seconds, he sank onto his side of the bed, warmth spreading in his chest when you snuggled closer, wrapping an arm around his waist. That sensation was also brand new. 

In stark contrast to the coziness that was the bed, he observed, even through the fogged windows, that the snow outside the glass had started to melt. Winter hadn’t been as crude as other years, or at least it felt that way; since you got to the castle, the atmosphere felt different. 

Not to mention that once the intimacy started, the temperature rose. 

Since the castle was given to him, Kenpachi hadn’t been spending so much time in the bedroom as he did after he got married. At the end of the day, he simply couldn’t wait to get to where you were, and that was usually the bed; though you had visited him fairly often at the training grounds, watching him fight with enthusiasm. It was strange; your delicate presence didn’t seem to combine well with your surroundings, but he liked that you were there to see him regularly. It was a pleasant change when he took into account how terrified you looked the first time you saw him.

Kenpachi would have let you return to your palace if that was what you truly wanted, he really would have if you had asked for it when he offered the option to you. But at that moment, he couldn’t even imagine a life in the castle without you. Your presence brought color to his surroundings. If you were to ask him to leave then, he wasn’t sure he’d allowed it. 

Your hand running up and down his chest brought his attention to you, especially when your fingers started skimming through the scar on his left pectoral. You must have been doing it out of curiosity, as you usually did, but your touch burnt his skin easily, and it felt like being cut open all over again. 

“Stop doing that.”

“I’m sorry,” You replied right away, moving your hand to his side. “Does it hurt?”

“That’s not it.” Kenpachi replied, tightening his grip around your shoulder in case you pulled away. “You’re making me hard again.”

“Oh…” You blushed slightly, but remained still. “Is that actually a bad thing?”

Kenpachi quirked his brow. It had certainly been hours and several orgasms since you two got into the room; you had been determined to keep going after each one. You loved being pushed to the edge, and he was more than happy to oblige; but he knew your physical condition could not compare to his, and even the fact that you hadn’t insisted on going again after that last round meant that you needed a break. At least for only a few minutes; he hadn’t had enough just yet. 

“I know you need to recover. Don’t play tough, kid.”

“I’m not playing tough,” You pouted, playfully glaring at him. “I’m your wife, I am tough.”

With a deep laugh, Kenpachi squeezed your shoulder. You hit his chest in jest, but he remained unaffected. 

“I can’t believe I used to be afraid of you. You’re like a giant plushie.”

“A what?” He asked, frowning in confusion. 

“A cuddly toy. You’re very rough on the surface,” You explained, smoothly running your hand down his abdomen. “But you’re nice to cuddle with. And at the same time, you’re like a whole bed yourself with how big you are.”

“Maybe it’s just you who’s tiny.” Kenpachi replied with a smirk. It was a great delight for him that you were so much smaller than he was; picking you up barely required any effort.

“Regardless, I thoroughly enjoy this.” You snuggled closer, burying your face in his neck, goosebump forming on his skin when he felt your warm breath so close to his jaw. “I was so wrong about you.”

“So I’m not barbaric?” He asked teasingly. 

Kenpachi wasn’t a particularly resentful man, but it was even surprising for himself how much it had annoyed him to hear you talk so rudely about him when you tried to call off the wedding. You weren’t even completely wrong; he was violent and enjoyed brutal confrontation more than anything; but his anger had a lot to do with the image he had of you in his mind. Obviously that first encounter between the two of you had left an unpleasant impression on you. 

“You still remember that?” You covered your face with your hand, before sitting up to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry, I was upset and… I did think you were barbaric, but I know better now!”

“You weren’t entirely wrong about all that stuff you said to your father.” Kenpachi had his gaze fixed on yours, gauging your reaction. 

“I guess… Honestly, I thought you were violent in every aspect. But I have seen now that you enjoy combat, and not just plain cruelty!” You added quickly, pleading eyes looking at him as if begging for understanding. “And I accept that. I’ve seen you train with your men, and not only do you look like you’re enjoying yourself, but even your soldiers seem to be having their morale raised by being in your presence. There’s something about you-”

“You get chatty when you’re drunk.” Kenpachi smirked, amused at how much you were rumbling. He noticed the first time you drank more than a couple of glasses how you usually dropped the formal speech, as well as loosening your tongue.

“I’m not drunk, I just had a few glasses of wine.” You pouted, lying back on his chest and nuzzling close once more. “Besides, you’re the one who doesn’t talk a lot.”

“Oh, what does my wife wanna hear?” Kenpachi asked with a grin that was clearly just to mock you. “Maybe I can entertain you.”

The pout on your lips had the ability to make him instantly hard, but he was more curious about whatever silly question you could throw at him.

“Very well then, why were you in the forest when I was attacked by that werewolf?”

The question caught him off guard. He turned to look at your face, trying to somehow see through you, wondering what kind of answer you were expecting from him. 

“I was following you.” Kenpachi replied after a long moment of silence.

“What?”

“I was nearby and saw you go into the forest. And I followed you.”

“Why?”

“I had already seen you at the palace before.” He would have doubted being completely straightforward in other circumstances, but you were already married, and there was no sign of any negative emotion in your eyes, only intrigue. “I was curious about what you were up to.”

“You’ve seen me before?” You asked, looking more confused than before. “But we were never at the same balls or social events.”

“Because I hate those things.” Kenpachi grimaced, recalling how uncomfortable the suits he was usually required to wear were. “But you spent an awful time in the gardens when me and my men were staying in one of the buildings nearby.”

“You’re more romantic than I expected.” You replied with a soft smile, running your hand up and down his side again. 

Kenpachi’s immediate thought was that he wasn’t being romantic, but it was pure lust that had taken him to you. You were carefree, walking around in the gardens with your bare feet as if you didn’t have a single worry in the world, with your maids chasing after you while holding your shoes. You smiled contently when you sat down in your garden full of flowers to pick them up regularly, seemingly unaware of the world around you. He had only wanted to have you when he looked at you from afar, tempted by that vivacious energy. On that fateful night he had followed you with the sole intention of attempting to lure you into having his way with you. He knew the risks and what you must have thought of him if he approached you and he hadn’t cared then, but it was confirmed when you spoke the way you did about him to your father when you tried to convince him not to go through with the wedding.

The romance part, that came much later when he got to know you after you got married. 

“A few of the seeds I planted last autumn have budded.” You suddenly commented, and it got to his attention that you might have had the ability to read minds. “Even through the snow, a few shiny green sprouts had emerged in the garden. I can’t wait to see how much they’ll grow.”

Kenpachi blinked and stared down at you for a long moment before you took notice.

“What?” 

He didn’t exactly know what to say. Your comments seemed to be making fun of him when it was obvious you weren’t. Something had budded inside him for you, that was for sure. He didn’t plan on developing feelings, or whatever other bullshit concept people sometimes talked about when they mentioned the word ‘love’. 

However, circumstances had tricked him into feeling something warm spreading in his chest as he looked at you, as if stars were dancing around you.

Your gaze was fixed on him in confusion before your lips curled into a smile.

“Do you want to see the sprouts?”

“The fuck are you saying, kid? It’s past midnight.”

“So?” You pulled away from his arms and got off the bed in the blink of an eye. “Come on, you’ll be with me! Besides, you already know how much I like going for walks at night!”

Kenpachi was close to letting you go alone, if his mind didn’t scream that it was late at night, and you’d be alone. The castle was secure, but who knows what kind of box full of curses you’d open if left to your own devices. 

Who was he kidding? He didn’t want anything to happen to you, even if that something was as silly as tripping with your own two feet. 

Cursing under his breath, Kenpachi got up, putting some of his warmest clothes on, and following your lead as you walked out the door. 

*

It was a starry night, but the beautiful sight of it didn’t stop it from being freezing cold. Yumichika huffed, wrapping the coat tighter around himself, as he walked along the battlements. 

Ever since you got to the castle, Kenpachi had put him and Ikkaku to guard the grounds, up until dawn at least. He couldn’t believe it at first, but the more he watched you two interact, there was no doubt in his mind on why the captain was being so careful. 

Nonetheless, it was surprising. Yumichika had never seen Kenpachi have a relationship that was even close to what you had with him. His bond with Yachiru was the closest thing, but even that wasn’t an accurate comparison, by a long shot. He didn’t think something like that would ever happen, simply because Kenpachi didn’t seem interested in those kinds of affairs. Most women didn’t like how abrasive he was, and at the beginning you weren’t the exception. 

Before his mind wandered further into what could have possibly happened between you two behind closed doors, Ikkaku walked up to him, complaining loudly. 

“This is so boring!” Ikkaku slumped against the cold brick wall. “If at least something would actually try to attack this place, it’d be justified. But no! Everyone knows who this castle belongs to, who the fuck would try?”

“I share the sentiment,” Yumichika replied, equally bored, as he scanned the gardens. “No matter how much the captain cares about the safety of the lady, I’m sure he’d appreciate the challenge of something attempting to invade us.”

“The safety of the lady?” Ikkaku looked at him with a quirked eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“Are you really that dense?” Yumichika turned to him, staring at him with a frown. “He’s obviously doing this for her.”

“I don’t get it, if it was for her, why put us as security during the night?”

“Because the captain is awake during the day, she doesn’t need protection then.”

“But she does at night?”

“Didn’t you see her taking random walks at night when she first arrived?” Yumichika groaned, exasperated. “Not to mention the circumstances of their meeting.”

“Oh, yeah,” Ikkaku commented, running his hand over his head as he recalled. “She walked past the limits of the woods.”

“I guess we know why she likes the captain now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She obviously likes putting her life at risk if she went into that forest alone at night.” Yumichika huffed, fixing his eyes back towards the garden. “Though I don’t really think that’s it.”

“What isn’t?”

“She wasn’t happy about being here at all, even less marrying the captain.” Yumichika squinted his eyes when he saw two figures in the garden, and grinned mischievously when he noticed who it was. “Speaking of which, look who’s there.”

Ikkaku approached the edge and followed his companion’s gaze, snorting when he recognized the two figures.

“The captain and the lady, walking through the gardens.” He clicked his tongue before chuckling. “Can’t believe he’s following her.”

“I can. Did you see the way he looked at her when she walked in the training grounds the first day?”

“Yeah, so?” 

“There were flowers emanating from him when he noticed her. It was creepy.” Yumichika shuddered dramatically, still keeping his eyes on you and Kenpachi as you walked together through the garden. 

“Yeah, I think I remember that.” Ikkaku paused when he noticed how close you two were walking, and even in the distance, it was obvious when Kenpachi leaned down to place a long kiss on your lips. “Huh, so the captain actually likes his wife.”

“I think it’s more than just like.” Yumichika sighed with a smile when he saw you grab Kenpachi’s hand. “And she seems to feel the same way.”

“Man, I hope they don’t fuck in the middle of the garden.” Ikkaku grimaced moments later when you practically jumped into Kenpachi’s arms to kiss him. 

“Doubt it, it’s too cold to do that.”

“Is that why we haven’t done it in a while?”

“We are here in the middle of the night, idiot, that’s why.” Yumichika rolled his eyes as he elbowed Ikkaku in the ribs.

[genshingarbage]

So, uh, this is just some mindless drabble type stuff that sprouted for my sheer love for Al-haitham lmao, not me with the C1 Al-haitham whaaaaaaat??? Lmaoooo, but yea, this is just pure smut for the sake of smut, so uuuhh? Yea, enjoy, I guess? Lol also fair warning, in my mind Al-haitham is only cold and distant at work and to those he doesn't really trust, with those he trusts he's a giant sweet goofy teddy lmaooooooooo - Mod Diluc

My Business Not Yours.

||NSFW||

Al-haitham x Reader / Smut / One-Shot

The voices inside saying to turn tail and run, not to bother the man, leave him be and that you're just going to annoy him, after all he had stopped showing up at the Akademiya for a while now, and you had already clued in as to why; it was no secret, to you anyways, of the man he shared his home with, how close they seemed to be too. Where ever Al-haitham was in that building, Kaveh was right behind him, as if joint to hip.

You swallowed down the thick lump that was in your dry throat, nervously tugging at the bottom of your shirt that hugged around your body, your skin paling as the thoughts in the back of your mind began to grow increasingly louder the closer you got toward Al-haithams home.

Of course you liked Kaveh, pray he don't misunderstand! He's never done you any ill, and not once has he been rude or dismissive of you, whenever you use to visit he was so chatty and engaging toward you, it almost could've been mistaken for him enjoying anyone's company other than his own boyfriend's. Because they were boyfriends, they had to be. It just made sense in your mind.

But it didn't stop the little pain that nestled into your heart everytime you thought on it for too long, whether you wanted to admit it or not, you had fallen for Al-haitham, pathetically hard might you add. It wasn't your intention too, of course not, The Scribe was merely tutoring you as the Akademiya were low on staff as of late. He always kept discussions, work related, and professional.

Until as of recently, that is however, roughly two months ago, if you were to try conjure an estimation exactly of when he suddenly became a little more informal toward you, making jokes, asking more personal questions, ones that were on the level of what friends would ask. And with this sudden change of behaviour spiked a change in your way of seeing him, feeling for him.

You originally thought he was single, for he'd never mentioned the existence of Kaveh before, not for the entirety of the year you've known him. But he was if anything, a private man, kept to himself on almost everything and anything, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to you when he asked you round one evening for a few drinks, and some light chatter, to suddenly be introduced to this man who unbeknownst to you, and the rest of Sumeru City it would seem, had been settled here for some time now, in Al-haithams home.

But surprise you, it did, and you'd be lying if you didn't have to choke down the raw disappointment and heartache that swelled within upon the realisation as you smiled politely and introduced yourself to Kaveh. But still, you didn't blame him, of course not. You weren't entitled to Al-haitham in any sense of the word. The man can love who he wants, and Kaveh was a charming man to boot, not to mention friendly and sweet. You just got your hopes up is all, silly of you to do so in hindsight now, but what can you do? You're only human.

Still, it had been three weeks since Al-haitham had last been seen by anyone from the Akademiya, and that was unbefitting to The Scribe, other students and colleagues began to chat and spread rumours that he'd chucked his role in, but you knew better, no way in all of Teyvat would he quit his job, one, not unless for immensely good reason, and two, not without showing face and telling you, you hoped...

That is why you now stood here, hand clenched tightly around a case of yours, and his favourite alcohol shipped all the way from Mondstadt, the type you both enjoy when chatting the night away and killing time, knuckles whitened from your tightening grip as your other hand, clenched in a fist raised up toward the expertly designed door. Nerves gnawing away at your sanity and the burning desire to give up on it all and go home, but despite all the sirens going off in your nervous brain, your hand subconsciously knocked all the same.

Knock, knock, knock.

Nothing.

...nothing.

......still nothing.

Was he not home? It would be just your luck, after all, that he be out the one day, the exact time you come by to visit.

Knock, knock-

You jumped slightly as the door suddenly clicked opened. You hadn't heard him approach from within. How silent must he have been?

"Hello Al-" your voice died down in its happy greeting instantly, at what you saw before you.

Al-haitham hung against the door, drowsy, silver hair dishevelled, eyelids half closed, clothes wrinkled and... exposing parts he probably wasn't aware of, or by the lack of enthusiasm on his face, didn't care of.

"...Haitham" your meek voice finished your greeting that had partially died on your tongue.

He sniffed casually as his eyes opened more, revealing those oddly coloured pupils you could fall for again, and again, as he clocked it was you, his demeanour relaxing instantly he lazily turned and began to walk away from the door he now left open.

"Y/N, what brings you here." He asked in a monotone voice, though it didn't sound like a question, more so a statement.

You took it upon yourself to warily step inside his darkened home, closing the door gently behind you. Glancing around, you softly sighed. You'd feared this outcome. He'd been dumped, hadn't he? It's the only reasonable excuse as to why he's been absent, and now being here, seeing him so hopeless looking. Kaveh would've greeted you by now, but as you expected, the blonde never revealed himself.

"You've uh, been absent for some time, I grew worried is all Al." You continued to glance about realising; Kaveh's paintings and various other decorations were gone. Almost all that was him had disappeared without a trace. Your heart ached, not just for Al-haitham but also yourself, for you'd began to grow a bond with him too, seeing him as a dear friend.

"How thoughtful." He merely spat out, laced with nothing but sarcasm, his mood was sour, and it filled the place with tension. He slumped down on the stool in his kitchen that faced his island in the middle, resting his chin boredly in his palm, which was propped up by his elbow on the hard surface. His eyes darting to you and then to your hand.

"For me?" He questioned properly this time, albeit in a muttered tone, making you draw your attention back to him. Seeing his eyes on the dandelion wine case in your hand, you blushed softly at your forgetfulness.

"O-oh yes! Sorry, I thought maybe we could, uhm, I don't know, chat, I guess? And catch up." You hated how timid you sounded, but it was natural for you to be so around him at this point. He was intimidating even when he was not trying to be.

"Chat?" He mused lowly before huffing aloud, "Sure, haven't seen you in weeks. It would be nice to know how you've been, at least." He finished. You blushed harder at his confession, but he paid it no mind for his eyes were already off you and glancing ahead of him, at, nothingness, blankly.

You made your way around the kitchen island and placed the case down. You were nervous around him, sure, but once in is home, you found it second nature manoeuvring around and making yourself busy. Grabbing some glasses and pulling one of the bottles out, popping the cork off and steadily pouring the glasses out with the beverages. It just felt right and easy to go around his home and have it feel like it was part of you now.

Once filled you slid the glass across the surface to his open palmed hand, he gripped it and began to sip it instantly, it concerned you how fast he was consuming the liquid, but you'd just decided to keep a silent eye on him for now. Taking a small sip yourself, you tried to seem natural with the questions you had bubbling at the surface, wanting to ask them for minutes now; "So... Kaveh?"

"Gone." Short, curt. You expected that response.

"As in?" You replied.

"As in, not coming back." He finished.

You nodded to his words, swirling the glass in your hand as the other rest against the kitchen surface, before adding; "Am I allowed to know why?"

"Disagreement." Elusive again, he clearly didn't wanna talk about it, and you weren't in any position to press further either.

"I see..." You stated flatly, "I'm sorry." You felt obligated to say it, but his solemn look as he nodded slowly in appreciation to your care made you realise why it felt like an obligation in the beginning.

He held out the now empty glass, a silent request for a refill, so you did, placing the bottle back down once finished. He bought the glass back, but this time, he took a more tame sip before placing it down.

"How's work?" He suddenly questioned.

"Boring." You scoffed softly, to which he chuckled gently in response. It felt nice to hear him make that sound, even if it was only briefly.

"You meeting the deadlines?" He continued.

"Of course, I had you as my tutor for a year, remember?" You jested.

His brow furrowed as he sat up properly now to look you in the eye, "what you mean, had?"

The question caught you off guard because, in all honesty, you hadn't realised you'd used past tense. You looked up at him now, your eyes no longer transfixed on the coloured liquid swirling in your glass, gaze locked with his expectant look.

"I- well, uh, I just, people have been talking-"

"Saying what." He demanded.

"Well, that, uh, uhmm, well... that you've chucked the position of Scribe in, that you uh... aren't coming back to The Akademiya..." You finished shakily as if a student being interrogated by her teacher.

He let a sigh draw out his mouth slowly as he shook his head, eyes scanning up to the ceiling of his house as he muttered below exhausted breath; "Archons have mercy."

You stood there unsure what to say next as he just huffed out at nothing before feeling his gaze on you again, the weight felt instantly by you, your eyes shooting back to him to focus now.

"I'm just taking a small vacation Y/N, don't listen to them idiots when it comes to anything to do with me." He stated before taking another sip of his drink.

You nodded, affirming your understanding to his words as you chuckled; "I had a feeling you wouldn't quit your job over a break up anyway." You let out a soft laugh as you took a large sip of your own drink in hand.

His eyes nearly popped from his head at your words, however, as he set his glass down and stood from his stool now; "a what? I'm sorry? Did you say breakup?" The disbelief in his tone had you taken aback again, your tongue really was running loose right now wasn't it? You had a right mind to cut it out.

"I- I," you stuttered, unsure where to take the sentence formulating in your mouth now.

"Y/N... did you think me and Kaveh were..." he looked at you, brow quirked up in utter disbelief still.

You placed your glass down and sheepishly nodded your head as you scratched the back of your neck awkwardly.

You expected him to shout, to yell, but instead, he let out a boisterous laugh, guttural too. It rose from the truthfully deepest parts of his chest. You couldn't help but chuckle slightly yourself, seeing him laugh so giddily, it was contagious.

The tears swelled in his eyes and threatened to spill as he laughed so hard from your assumption before finally wiping his eyes and sighing aloud, coming down from his high.

"Y/N!" He said loudly but not in an angry way more of 'I can't believe you' joking kinda way, "I'm not gay?! What on earth gave you that idea?" He snickered again, his lips curving up into a wide smile. You opened your mouth but quickly shut it, wanting to save grace and not make yourself more of a fool.

"I- well, I don't know! Maybe the fact you had a man living in your home in secrecy for one! Sheesh, you can't blame me for thinking you two were an item. You bickered like an old married couple every time I came around to visit archons sake!" You lifted your hands in a gesture akin to 'help me out here'.

However, his smile faded when the realisation of the fact Kaveh had come back into play hit him, and you mentally yelled at yourself again for ruining the mood.

"I'm sor-" you instinctively went to apologise as the sad face he now had hurt your heart so desperately, but he waved his hand, dismissing your words.

"No, it's alright, don't be sorry, it's funny you assumed we were together, but no, we are just g- we were just good friends." He smiled at you as if to be reassuring to him saying he's alright, but the look of brokenness didn't help him in that effort. "We hadn't seen eye to eye for a while, and it was only a matter of time before, well, this," his hand gestured to the lack of Kaveh's decorations and designs, and presence "finally happened." He sighed, reaching for his glass again and taking another large swig.

You remained silent for what could you possibly say right now that would be of any comfort? He'd lost a once dear friend, and you'd now realised you'd lost a blossoming friendship too, and it stung you bad, so you could only imagine how much it hurt for him. The way he downed his drink made you happy you'd bought it in the first place, though you wasn't one to agree with drowning sorrows with alcohol. It helped every now and then, at least.

You stretched out, allowing a loud huff to leave yourself and effectively kill the silence that had begun to drown the room in tension; "Come, no more sad talk, let's take the drinks to the sofa and have some catch up time, I've missed my drinking buddy." You smiled warmly, and he simply smiled and nodded back.

-

The night quickly went by with you both talking about work, discoveries you'd made, ideas he'd been sitting on, interests and further hobbies you'd both decided to reveal to one another, reminiscing on past funny moments when working together, joint dislike towards certain colleagues and disagreeing with many of The Akademiya's methods in pursuit of knowledge.

It was moments like this that made your heart swell harder and reminded you why you'd begun to fall for him in the first place. You both clicked together over every little detail. You either complimented each other perfectly with your agreements on matters or delicately accentuated your differences in debates on others. Either way, you were both puzzle pieces that perfectly placed together in any jigsaw.

From both yours and his humour to your hobbies and interests, it didn't matter. You just enjoyed the company of each other over everything, you were comforted in his presence, and he was comforted in yours. There was no need for further questions or desperate attempts to create conversational topics, they fell from you both so naturally, and even more so once the alcohol had finally began to take root in your mind and his.

Cut to fifty-seven minutes later, and you're both closer with one another than how you'd oringally started out tonight, figuratively and literally. The jokes becoming more daring with underlining tones you couldn't quite take as anything more than flirtatious banter right now, and your tongue becoming even more looser than before.

-

You couldn't stop laughing, not with how Al-haithams drunken impersonation of one of your more annoying work colleagues was so spot on! Right down to the way he always flicks his hair as if he's a famous scientist known world wide.

"Pffthahahaha!" Your tears fell from your eyes freely as you couldn't stop laughing. You'd broken into such a giggle fit it even caught Al-haitham in the midst of it beginning to wheeze himself, you both sat on his sofa, the light basking you in a relaxing glow as the nightsky had claimed territory above Teyvat outside now.

You tapped his knee gently pleading for a time-out to catch your breath, though he'd stopped impersonating a full minute ago now and so you both were just clutching your stomachs and wheezing like two utter mad men as the alcohol sent a pleasant buzz down your spine.

Once the laughing had finally begun to die down, you found yourself just staring at him, your head cocked to the side and resting in your palm as it pressed against the back of the sofa. He breathed in deeply to regain some slight composure before looking at you, cocking his head playfully at you now.

A small smile crept onto your lips uncontrollably, and your words fell effortlessly from you; "you're just a big goof ya know that?"

He gasped mockingly as he turned to place his glass down on the small coffee table stowed away at the side of his sofas' arm rest. Turning his attention back to you, "so rude Y/N."

You giggled, rolling your eyes, your other hand loosely holding the glass at a slight angle, the wine inside close to spilling out if you were to tip it anymore so; "No, honestly, I use to be so afraid of you, worried I'd make you unhappy with my work, or you'd not even bother to grace me with your attention ever. You came off so cold and distant..."

He began to nudge himself closer to you, subconsciously maybe, but you weren't finding it anywhere in yourself to complain right now.

"That so?" He drawled out in a smile, "makes sense, I suppose, I do tend to keep everyone at arms length. Can't trust people that well from The Akademiya, even so-called colleagues." He finished slowly. His eyes locked with yours, "Why'd you stick around if I was so unwelcoming?" He questioned.

You shrugged as you broke the joint gaze to bend round and place your own glass down now, feeling your mind become ever so slightly dizzy you had little foresight left, which gave you the reasonable reaction of putting the glass out of harms way, turning back round you noticed Al-haitham had moved even closer now, and the proximity had began to make butterflies flutter in your stomach ever so slightly, but the alcohol made good distraction of said feelings.

His eyes searched yours for something. You were unsure of what, but they were definitely searching and searching deeply, too. Neither of you spoke now as your eyes were lost in one another, till he finally broke the silence; "I wanna kiss you." It was sudden, and so crystal clear you couldn't even pretend to have not heard it. Your cheeks burned as you suddenly felt hot and entirely trapped by him. Your throat ran dry all too quickly, and you swallowed down a lump that had begun to form; "i-... okay..." is all your drunken mind could respond with, for it seemed much easier to follow your hearts wants and desires now that you'd drowned yourself into intoxication.

He shuffled closer slowly, his eyes burning into yours before dropping to your lips, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip subconsciously, your mind was moving at a thousand miles a second right now, but the only thought that stuck out from all the rest was how unbelievably sexy he looked right now, as the redness dusted over his cheeks became more visible, and the slight huffs of his breath became more audible, as the air grew hotter and more tense as he drew in closer, his arm spreading over you to lock his fingers into the armrest beside you, effectively caging you in, his other hand cupping your cheek softly but firmly, angling your chin just right and then-

A relaxed sigh escaped your mouth only to be swallowed by his own as his lips pressed gently into yours, his tongue seeking permission to enter inside your mouth, to which you eagerly granted him, your eyes had closed instantly upon the feel of his lips meeting yours, and he slowly closed his eyes a few seconds after, the kiss now deepening as his tongue danced around yours and laid claim to your mouth with his dominance.

You felt your mind going light and fuzzy now, the kiss drifting you further into a dreamlike buzz. You so hopefully wished to never wake if it were just a dream all along. The breathing that exited both your noses were louder than usual as the intensity of the kiss grew more feverish, the wheeze of your lungs be pushed to their limit began to sting, and it must've been doing the same to the scholar above you as he then slowly, albeit it reluctantly, removed his lips from yours.

The string of saliva that connected both your lips snapped once he took a somewhat bated shaky inhale, his eyes never leaving yours once you'd finally reopened your eyes to catch your own breath. His thumb absentmindedly began to stroke sweet circles against your jawline and cheek, and you found yourself happily pressing further into his touches.

"How long?" He questioned, though his voice was more hoarse and rough now.

You looked into his eyes, knowing what he meant instantly, for you could see the same want spread across his face that you were also clearly painted with too.

"Several months now." You replied, honestly.

Still looking at you he began to manoeuvre you both softly, guiding you down, back pressed against the sofa chair, him now looming above you, the light that lay suspended in the air from his living room ceiling being blocked from directly shining in your eyes by Al-haithams towering figure above you now.

"Is your assumption of my relationship with Kaveh the reason I've been getting zero response from you with my advances?" He asked earnestly. His eyes make you feel naked with how intensely they stare at your every detail.

"I... I suppose so, yes." Your mind couldn't think straight anymore. You were in such a proactive position with the man you'd had a burning desire for months for now caging above you, alcohol having now also dammed your senses and sunken your defence, and he was interrogating you? When your mind clearly hungered for something else right now.

He chuckled softly as if it was all a big joke the world had been playing on him from the start. He lowered his face abruptly and placed warm, open-mouthed kissed against your neck and the juncture between where your neck and shoulder connect, eliciting a breathy moan from your numbing body.

"You nosy little minx," he began to gruff the words out through intakes of air between his onslaught of sensational wet kisses that marked all over your neck and shoulders, his hand gripping the top of your shirt to lazily pull it further down to reveal more skin for him to revel in. "That was my business, not yours," he nipped at a specific soft spot on your neck that made you hitch your breath under his magnifying pleasure. "Because of your sniffing around, you conjured up false accusations, and it cost me," you began to pant harder as his kisses grew more heated and possessive in their nature to mark up your skin and lay claim to you.

"Al-...mmhaahh- Al-haitham," your voice was soft, barely above a whisper as you shakily moaned his name out, a plea, a beg, you wasn't sure what, but your instincts could only give you strength to say that one word, however as he hungrily bit down on your neck you couldn't stifle the proper moan that slipped from your lips this time.

"Make more of those noises for me," he sounded drunk on his lust, and you were in the same ship as him, his lips and tongue were made by the devil, they had to of been, to elicit such sinful sounds from your very own mouth. His fingers clutched tightly on your shirts fabric. It was only a cheap, flimsy thing you'd thrown on in your haste to come see him today, "this, is in the way," he practically snarled the words out as a loud tearing sound echoed throughout the spacious living room, a blush burning at your cheeks now as you felt the temperature change, you hadn't worn a bra either-

"Temptress." He stated in a frenzied manner as he dipped his head down past your neck now, you cried out in sheer overwhelming pleasure as his hot mouth encased round your nipple, sucking on it fervently, his tongue flicking it around between the clasp of his teeth inside. Your hands slipped through silver locks, so silky to the touch, you giggled to yourself inside, as depressed as he was, he always made sure he was well pampered, such a pretty boy.

Your eyes closed as you got swallowed up to all the burning sensations that engulfed your body right now, his tongue, lips, teeth made sure to bite, kiss and suck any and all flesh that held his attention, while his hands left delicious squeezes and gropes all over your thighs, slipping underneath your arching behind to properly feel your rear too, he made sure to leave no part of you undiscovered by him.

"Tried so damn hard," he continued to growl hoarse and roughly as he bit against your fleshy mounds that were now glistening in slight sweat, "to make you realise my obvious want for you," he panted heavily as he began to shuffle about again, your body too weak and overwhelmed to resist anything he'd do to you now, but as you felt your legs being lifted and the feel of your pants being roughly pulled down you mewled in excitement as to what's to come.

Though your mind was hazy with the thick fog of arousal as the room slowly began to permeate with that smell of sex, your hands slid up his body, squeezing into his firm muscles on his arms, your mouth watering slightly as you took into consideration the sculptured frame of perfection that hungrily stripped you as if you were the marvel to behold here.

"Feeble Scholar, my a-ass." You breathed out to which he once having finally thrown your pants on the floor bent back down closer to your mouth to properly hear, "what was that?" He panted out his request, his face so flushed with his burning desire for you. "Yo... you can't blame me for having... doubts, how could I have ever expected to... engg... have a chance with you? You're so... perfect." You confessed your insecurity to the whole ordeal that had been burning at the back of your mind since the moment you began to pine after him, alcohol really was a dangerous thing you'd drunkenly realised.

He sat up, an almost flustered amusement painting his face as he lulled his head back, lazily running a hand through his silver hair, looking as if in thought, before sniffing in sharply through his nose and lowering his head back down to burn his gaze back into yours. You suddenly felt that naked feeling again, and it wasn't because you were in nothing but your dampening panties underneath him, no, it was that look he gave again, as he burned every detail of you into him, as if blinking would make you disappear so he wouldn't dare too.

"I won't be held responsible for this," he muttered out as you felt a tug at your waist and then heard another snapping sound. You gasped about to voice a complaint over one of your favourite panties now being ruined, but instead, you choked on your words and hiccuped a moan out instead. His long fingers deftly shoved into your now soaking entrance, two push inside which caused you to shudder hard under him and writhe around, his grip on your hip kept you in place however, bruises were sure to show tomorrow from his hold.

He began to scissor you open in an expertly way that left you speechless and mewling with delight, his thumb pressed against your clit and stimulated it simultaneously with quick and fast circular motions, your eyes beginning to water as your body wracked with pleasure as if small sparks of electrocution ran through your very veins, the heat pooling below rapidly now. "Heh, that's it, keep singing for me Y/N, keep," he began to spread his two fingers wider inside you, stretching you open deliciously past your normal limits, "making, those, faces." every word he gruffly barked out with that hot underlining tone of lust was accentuated with the spread of fingers lodged deep inside you.

You felt your climax barrelling into you so suddenly, the way your body tensed under him, your eyes rolling back as you cried out, the gush of your own slick and juices coating his fingers and hand, dribbling down to his wrist, he merely smirked as he watched you unravel beneath him, a gift for himself, so beautiful and alluring, he continued to scissor and thrust his fingers slowly inside you as you rode down from your incredible high.

He then leaned down beginning to pant harder, he sounded out of breath, much like how you sounded right now too, your face flushed red from cheeks to nose and ear tips, he wore the same expression, both of you intoxicated by far more than just alcohol. You had so many thoughts and words wishing to be voiced aloud but you found them dying on your tongue with every attempt, the sensations causing too many shudders and delectable thrums of ecstasy up your spine.

It wasn't long at all till his mouth was on yours again, another hot, sloppy make out between you both, tongues twirling with each other as air was squeezed from your lungs, teeth clattering in the transaction but it meant nothing to you, feeling him on you like this, devouring you, it felt good, so good, and so right, you submitted yourself wholly to him and he could sense it in the way your body relaxed and fell pliant beneath him as he continued to domineer the stinging hot kiss between you both, a muffled groan leaving his throat only to be swallowed hungrily by you in return.

"w-want you..." you whimpered softly while catching your breath.

"You're gonna have me." he concluded as he sat up and swiftly removed his tight emerald green vest that often left nothing to the imagination of his amazing physique.

You hesitantly lifted your hand up, the intrusive thoughts of wanting to explore every crevice of his skin, every ridged bump along his six pack down to the sharply carved V-line that disappeared beneath his unbelievably tight trousers. But your hand stilled, as if worried or more so, undeserving to feel such a beautiful being like him. He merely scoffed incredulously to your hesitancy, gripping your hand firmly and placing it flat against his abs, your cheeks flaring red as he guided your hand along those said tempting ridges and bumps, feeling the divine skin underneath you.

"We are past shyness of touch dear, stop looking at me with such hunger, and start actually acting on it," he chuckled in a far too sexy way above you as he knelt between your legs that were now hung either side his own legs. His hair a cute mess, his lips wet from your constant need to suck the air from one another, his eyes glossy and coated over with soul damning lust.

You let your hand continue to explore his abs before slowly sliding up and over his pecs, across his toned chest, he truly was stunning, so well built, he lies when he says he doesn't work out, no one gets a shape this godly without putting effort in, but you would reprimand him for lying later, now is worship time, your other hand began to join you in its neediness to explore him and he chuckled airy like toward you, his brow raising in amusement making him look like a smug god before you, "You really like what you see huh?"

You scoffed with the first sign of confidence you'd had since this whole crumbled down fiasco transpired, "Wouldn't you if you was faced with such an unremarkably sexy person?" you quipped back, he then swiftly gripped your hands and bought them to his lips, soft gentle kisses pressing into them as his eyes locked with yours once again, a smile pressing into your hand from his lips as the hot breath fanned against them as he spoke, "I am." is all he rebutted back at you before guiding your hands up and above your head, locking them together with one of his own, his strong fingers clasping round your wrists.

You blushed hard at his compliment, suddenly he has such a way with words, so suave and smooth out of nowhere, you were use to the cold distancing from before, and then the goofy and sarcastic man after, but this new side of him was just as welcome as all the ones you'd seen before, any side of him you would accept as part of him, just as you knew any side of you yet to be revealed would be seen no differently by him.

You blinked the tears away that swelled in your eyes from the overwhelming insanity of all that was taking place currently, sniffing softly as you tried to regain composure, the buzz of the dandelion wine and the heady scent of sex clouding your judgement so easily, your focus was redirected down south sharply however, when you heard the sound of his zipper ringing out, your throat suddenly felt too dry as you swallowed in anticipation.

You didn't even notice the cocky smirk on his lips as he watched your shining eyes focus solely on his fingers under his trousers away from your prying sight, he couldn't deny the desperation frothing inside him to feel your walls clenching around him however, so in one swift movement he pulled the front of his trousers down and with it the spring of his nearing eight inch cock bounced out in all its well trimmed glory.

Your eyes bulged wide at the sight, Archons he was massive! ...was, ...was he gonna be able to fit inside you? Suddenly you wasn't so sure as you looked at the pretty shaped pink head weeping plentiful of its precum, the thick girth and more than generous length, so heavy it was that even with how hard he was to the thought of taking you, the blood pumping down south couldn't properly lift the darn thing, it stood straight out and drooped ever so slightly.

"Holy fuck Al, you're ma-massive." You choked your words out with little care of modesty, you were worried and impressed, and you wasn't gonna deny it to him. He laughed, properly, full of warmth and genuine amusement, it gave you that giddy feeling again to see his sweet smile with no filters. "Relax Y/N, if you don't think you're up to it-" he was being polite, you knew that, but the look in his eyes was obvious, and you also knew he didn't mean it, he wanted you, bad, and you're anything but a liar, your mind could hardly even catch up to your current thoughts as you blurted out shamelessly, "No, fuck me-"

He squeezed your wrists in his grip tighter, to the point that you'd almost forgotten he still had them caged above your head, his eyes simmering into a darker shade as his lust consumed him, his expression looking ravenous and hungry now, "Thank fuck you didn't say no, I need you, so fucking bad," he snarled the words out beside your ear to which you mewled at as you felt his thickness now rubbing against your slick covered walls, your hole clenching around nothing in desperation to feel full.

Just as his head began to prod and poke at your entrance, sending tiny shivers rippling all over your muscles, for some reason, completely lost to you, your mind thought about the condition of his clearly expensive furniture. "W-wait! Your s-sofa..." your voice was so unsteady now, words became harder and harder to force out, you just wanted to make animalistic sounds of pleasure, pleasure he kept sinking you further into. He shook his head as his hand released over yours and placed firmly beside your head, the other now on the other side too, caged beneath him once more, just how you'd grown to like it apparently. Your hands reflexively shooting out as your hands dug into his muscular arms, flexing beneath your squeezing fingers, you squeezed tightly, trying to ground yourself to him, to anything, just, to feel as if you wasn't drowning, but oh, you were.

"May come as, a haaah... surprise to you, Y/N," his voice strained as he began to push his thick girth deeper, and deeper inside you, spearing your insides and stretching you unfathomably around him, your juices spurting out in unbelievable amounts, coating his cock in a shiny layer of slick as it continued to bury deeper inside you, your voice gone entirely now, replaced with heavy pants, whines and mewls, your brain frying all that's coherent. "But I don't give, a shit, about my sofa, ahhh f-fuck meeeerrngh, right now." he snapped his hips forward suddenly to finish bottoming out inside you fully, your stomach looking slightly bulged to his sex driven mind, but he could just be high on endorphins right now.

Upon feeling his tip press and kiss against your cervix it forced a combined moan from the pair of you, you'd never felt so fucking full, you'd only had sex a handful of times, but you didn't need to be a slut to realise no cock would ever have this man beat, he remained still, his thick veined cock lodged deep inside your spasming and tight walls, his eyes fluttering shut as he sucked a breath in harshly trying to steady his control, "fucking...hell Y-Y/N, you're so bloody tight mmnph.." you panted heavily, your tongue lulling out as you did, he couldn't help but to lean down and kiss you with a searing hot passion, your fucked out expression did something wild to him and if he had any less self restrain you'd be fifty-shades fucked out your fucking mind right now.

Your tongues danced with each other in nothing but a messy exchange of saliva, muffled moans and whines at his testing little thrusts, short and slow, but he was so deep that he was already making you see stars, you pulled away to breath once again, your lips shiny from your messy and continuous make out sessions, "well sorry, but did i-it ever occur to you, you're too f-fucking deep," you hissed as he suddenly rolled his hips into you causing him to rub and press against several of your sweet spots, your shuddering and spasming causing him to shudder as well, both of you cursing to high Celestia and back in unison as he then breathily chuckled against your ear, "nah, you can take more feisty thing," he mused.

Before you could question what he meant though he began to thrust fully into you now, slow but continuous and deep, your eyes squeezed shut as you began to moan loudly with wild abandon, he had no neighbours anyway so what'd you care? "S-see? taking me so well, good girl, haah." his voice was deep, strained, rough and hoarse, everything and all things that make him sexy to you at any given time, he was all in one at this exact moment, and his praising made your mind go fluffy and flash white behind your eyes, he realised it instantly with the way he almost came from your sudden squeezing and sucking from your ever so tight fluttering walls.

"ahh, fuuucckk, you like that baby? mmh?" he tilted his head as he sat up, his hips flushed against yours still, but now knelt between you sitting up he could probably admire the picturesque form you currently were in, sinfully gorgeous with how thoroughly fucked out your face was, your eyes half open, filled with lust and want, your cheeks red, your skin glistening with more sweat, panting and mewling, you were utterly divine to him right now, he laid his hand flat against your stomach slowly, pressing the bulge that he could certainly conclude was actually there now.

The way he pressed down on your stomach made you stutter out a sobbed moan, he was making you feel more full if that were even possible, he pressed against his own cock that was wedged so deeply inside you now, "mmh, I never did realise, just how... small you were, fuck, compared to me Y/N." he bit his lip harshly and you somehow found the energy to chuckle, though you were becoming rapidly more lightheaded, "telling me you have a size kink now, h-huh?" he smirked at your jab as he rolled his hips roughly against you again, causing your eyes to roll back and let out a wanton moan, "what was that, my little good girl." You mewled in response to the praise, the pet name if you will, your walls fluttering vigorously around his length again causing him to bite his lip once more to remain composed before beginning to trust at a steady pace now.

You couldn't believe you both were just idly revealing kinks while he was actively impaling you. But like you'd come to accept, opening up to him really was easier than breathing at this point. And breathing was suddenly becoming harder for you too, with how he continued to spread you open, rearrange your organs and insides to mould into the perfect sleeve for his cock, and his cock alone, he was burning his girth, his length, him, inside you fully, and you knew you weren't gonna forget the feelings he gave to you, and you didn't want too.

Your eyes had closed what, ten minutes ago, twenty? …forty? You really wasn't sure, but his pace hadn't let up, the battering of your poor insides was starting to ache you, you'd already came again and he'd just thrusted you through it into utter overstimulation, his lips trailing your neck, your shoulders, nibbling your ear, marking your chest, overstimulation was clearly another one of kinks, but with the way your tears spilled so gratefully and the delicious burn of your battered inside built you quickly to another encroaching climax, maybe... you were also into over stimulation, hmm.

"Fuck... Y/N, sorry but, I'm close..." if you were able to form anything of coherent audibility right now you would tell him to shut the fuck up with the whole 'sorry' sorry for what? Idiot. If he thought he was under performing right now... he needed a serious talking to, but as you felt his cock begin to twitch wildly so deep inside and the way he showed no signs of slowing down or pulling out, you started to realise why he may have said sorry...

"w-ahh wait, wa-wait, Al...mmhp, Al, you aren't s-seriously going to, to..." he shook his head as he pressed himself down onto you, his chest pressing against yours, your breasts rubbing against his chest as his hand flatly laid over your mouth, so big it was his fingers had to part to let your nose have an airway to breath through as your eyes widened to your sudden forced silence, "shhh, be a good girl, take it, take it all Y/N, Mmph...," he rolled his hips before beginning to rut into you, his hand sliding between your bodies and hurriedly swirling circled motions against your swollen clit and with that your eyes rolled back as he sent you over into another blissed out orgasm that flashed your sights white and your hearing just ringing out.

"Ahh fuuuck, yes, just like that baby, just like that, keep cumming on my cock you slut." you couldn't say anything, even your moans were muffled into near silence, your harsh breaths through your nose as your head went fuzzy and utterly fried from overstimulation now to the point of being fucked dumb, your nails scratching down his back leaving marks, eliciting a sharp hiss and growl from Al-Haitham as he continued to rut hard into you, "f-fuck, I'm cumming baby, I'm cumming, take it, take it a-all, arrghhh!" his head lulled back as he groaned out and then you felt it, spurt after spurt of hot thick ropes of his cum painting and smearing your insides, filling you to the brim, the squelching of your ridiculously soaked and battered entrance around his throbbing and twitching cock, hungrily your insides sucked and milked his balls dry till his shallowed thrusts into you and the twitching of his cock had nothing left to give.

He dropped down onto you, careful not to fully crush you under his weight, both of you panting heavily as he slid his hand from your over your mouth up into your hair, softly petting your scalp, the affectionate gesture made a warm swelling feeling inside you, that or you know, the bucket load of his cum and cock still deeply buried inside you. It was only once the haziness began to leave and you were left post thoughts after sex that you began to chuckle before breaking into a fit of laughter, his eyes had closed from exhaustion, but opened slowly to your laughing fit, chuckling himself and lifting his head softly before the contagious laughter caught him too, causing him to break out laughing as well while dropping his forehead against yours, both of your eyes watering with joy filled tears and overwhelming emotions.

Once the laugher died down and you were both now just sniffling with slight chuckles his eyes sunk downward then back up into yours, "Darn, the sofa's ruined now." he snorted to which you giggled at childishly, then the silence took over fully and you both lay together, eyes locked on one another once again, "I like you too Y/N." He boyishly smiled at you to which you rolled your eyes before a smile couldn't help but form too, "I would hope so" you returned.

-

After your pillow talk to one another you both got up and cleaned the mess up as best you could, he offered you first shower to clean yourself but you decided it was easier to just shower and clean together, you both continued to chat and joke, somewhat naughtily in your washing up time, but managed to come out of it actually clean. You didn't further discuss his prior feelings toward his ex-friend, it was his business not yours after all, though it saddened you to think you may never see Kaveh again, people come and go unfortunately, and in all honesty, no one knows what the future holds do they? Optimism is best suited in these saddening times to keep one going, and you wanted him to remain positive, you wanted to help relieve some of his sorrow and tension and you felt the mood had finally lifted and unbelievable progress had been made, the man you'd been crushing so hard for, reciprocated your feelings fully and it left you warm and fuzzy whenever you thought about it.

You stayed the night, to which more less than innocent things took place in his bedroom with you, no surprise there, he had amazing stamina and recovery time you'd thoroughly figured out during this endeavour. But the next morning you ate breakfast with him and continued to bask in the comfort of just being around him, to which he fully and equally returned the mutuality of. But alas, you did have work back at The Akademiya, so with a chaste farewell kiss you bid him goodbye till the next time you had time to come see him, assuming he still wasn't ready to come back just yet, which you were fine with, at least you had closure to his absence and could tell your colleagues to shut up with their bickering and rumour spreading.

-

The sun was rising bright above Teyvat as you were inside Al-Haithams office giving it a quick clean over, it was growing dusty from the lack of attention it had received for weeks now, it had been a couple days since you and him, took the next step in both of yours relationship, so to speak, and you couldn't help but already be missing him, did it make you petty? Probably, but at least you felt somewhat closer to him in here, in his office, and the excuse of spring cleaning kept everyone's suspicions at bay.

"Missing me so much already are we?" His voice came from behind you suddenly, causing you to jump near out your skin, whipping round fast eyes wide before resting your hand on your chest calming your nerves, "Archons Al, don't sneak up on me like that."

He quirked his brow as he set down some various documents and paperwork onto his desk turning to you, "Me? You're the one skulking about my office stalker." he squinted his eyes in challenge but you knew better than to raise to it, "Am not." or so you thought.

He smiled as he glanced around realising you had been cleaning his office during his absence, "Thank you though, honestly, for taking care of things while I was too busy moping." He turned back to his papers beginning to organise them in order of projects in dire need of attention on top, with the less urgent ones beneath.

"Well, everyone needs their time and space Al, even the amazing Scribe." you smiled warmly as you finished the left over areas that needed cleaning, gasping softly when you felt hands suddenly squeeze your hips and spin you back around, your hands dropping the cloth as they rested quickly atop his broad and firm shoulders, meeting met face to face with Al who stared down at you, your cheeks flushed red, you were in public was he mad?!

"Al?! Not here you mad man!" You whisper yelled to him trying your best to have a serious and scolding expression but he merely chuckled an kissed the tip of your nose lovingly, "Whatever happens between us in this office, is of no concern to others." he flatly stated as he began to trail kisses down your neck, your core beginning to pool with heated arousal and neediness for the man against you, a sigh of content seeping from your lips as your eyes fluttered softly, "What do you plan to do to me in here AL..." your voice was soft and laced with nerving excitement and anticipation.

He lifted his head to let his eyes capture yours once more, his breath hot against your lips as he whispered seductively, "That's my business, not yours."

[itmeansiris]

The Solar System Legacy Challenge: Winter Gen 1 pt.78

After ending her call with Mercury, Winter took Crimson inside having finished their magic lesson and it had started to rain.

Winter: Let's go squirt.

She called him as she headed inside without checking if he was following. Inside she found Peyton in the living room helping Hannah, their youngest, to stand. Crimson immediately ran over to his older sister Adrianne, his wings not yet strong enough to carry him, and jumped on her back.

The family of five moved from San Myshuno to New Crest at the end of the summer after they brought home their third baby. Their two-bedroom apartment was too small so Peyton had done the work needed to move them into a more spacious and family friendly environment.

Winter sat across from Peyton holding her hands out to Hannah and fluttering her wings to get the baby spellcaster's attention.

Winter: Hello beautiful girl. Come to Mama.

She cooed at the infant lovingly as Peyton held her steady.

Peyton: How's M?

Winter: I'm not sure. I didn't want to ask too much over the phone but she sounded like herself.

Peyton: Good. I don’t want to have to kick my brother's ass.

Winter: Language!

She snapped.

Peyton: Sorry.

Crimson: Dad's in trouble.

Winter: I'm sure it was a misunderstanding. If something was wrong Kason would have called.

Winter responded vaguely, not wanting to get into detail with the kids around. Peyton rolled his eyes as he adjusted Hannah and tickled her tummy. Her sweet giggles filled the room.

Peyton: He should have called anyway. He never knew how to ask for help.

Winter smirked at Peyton's fatherly complaint.

Winter: Look at you sounding like the older brother.

Peyton frowned. He'd been defending himself against this jab for years, and it never seemed to stop bothering him.

Peyton: He's not older! He was only born 3 minutes before me.

Winter: Slacker. What were you doing fixing your hair first?

She loved to tease him about how long he took to get ready. It took him hours, spending watcher knew how long making sure his hair was perfect. He recently let it grow out and she had to attempt the length looked good on him.

He didn't entertain her with a response as Hannah started to wobble forward eager to reach her mother. When she made it the last few shakey steps to Winter they stood and Peyton kissed her head.

Peyton: Hannah Banana you are getting so big. Soon you'll be sprouting your wings and making trouble like these two wildlings.

As soon as his arms were free Adrianne and Crimson filled them. Peyton, like his brother, was an attentive parent and though he didn't have triplets he had his own personal trials raising three half-fae children.

Winter and Peyton sat at the kitchen island after getting all the kids into bed. They were finalizing their travel list seeing that they were traveling separately.

Peyton: You sure you can handle taking your stuff, Adrianne and Hannah's? That's a lot for one person Winter and I don't want you to get hurt or lose something on the way.

He asked while checking off the last of the items on his phone.

Winter: Babe you're traveling with all the kids. Even if I thought I couldn't handle it, which I obviously can, I'd never tell you.

Winter gazed at him with love and admiration. Not many people knew this side of Peyton. All they saw was the spoiled, wild child he'd been after his mother had abandoned him, Kason, and their father when they were just toddlers. Winter wasn't even the one to make their relationship official it had been Peyton. She was guilty of seeing him as just a "pretty face" when they'd first met, she never thought they would end up married with three kids. Now she couldn't imagine her life without him

Winter: Peyton I can wait and we can all travel together.

Peyton: You've been talking about going to see M for weeks. Go check on our girl and give Kason a good knock over the head for me.

Winter knew he wouldn't take no for an answer, he would claim it was all for her benefit but M was one of Peyton's bestfriends and he cared about his brother deeply and though he'd never admit it he was secretly worried about the photos he'd seen online. They seemed to have disappeared nearly overnight but it didn't stop him from worrying about why his brother had been with a strange woman or wondering who had posted them and why.

Torn between wanting to stay with her family and her excitement over girl time with M had Winter a little moody. But she was leaving in the morning and a proper goodbye was owed tonight. She didn't need him to be worried about her so she pushed aside any lingering worry and turned up the charm.

Previous Next

Beginning

Sidebar: This post was a small way to update you on Winter's life. She had another kid and moved to Newcrest all without my permission but I guess Wild Fairy Winter doesn't need the watcher's approval to give her family a better life. It's also a part of the Challenge that she sees her friends every week and even though she's been hanging out with Kiersten It felt right that Winter has some much-needed screen time.

[min-gis]

chapter one — ps. i've waited for you.

a celebration, red wine and a new face. a recipe for a brewing disaster, it turns out, something you realize when you cross paths with park seonghwa for the first time.

series teaser ! series m.list ! chapter two

pairing. model!seonghwa x fembodied!reader

genre. strangers to lovers

chapter word count. 10.5k

warnings. they're all just really rich and successful, alcohol consumption, smoking (cigarettes), implied mxm (no mxm, just a misunderstanding really), smut ! mdni .

LOVE IS A FUNNY THING. IT COMES WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, JUST LIKE IT LEAVES WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT TO.

Having a dancer as your best friend comes with a lot of perks.

Not only does it grant you free entry to some of the world's most important shows, which is great - you have to admit. Perhaps it’s Wooyoung’s determination that lets you slip in without paying thousands for a ticket, thousands everyone else has to pay, everyone but you.

Jung Wooyoung. A man you’ve seen grow, sprout into something bigger, bigger than himself - bigger than most things. Hongjoong had written a poem for him once, as a congratulation for completing yet another successful show, where he described him just like that.

Bigger than most things.

Wooyoung is bigger than every stage he steps his foot on, bigger than every audience that watches him with careful eyes; he’s both bigger, and louder, than the applause that follows.

He always has been, you realize, even back when his lanky teenage figure restricted him from moving the way he wished to. Maybe not restricted, because he’s never been restricted, never - maybe just held back. Merely.

Having Jung Wooyoung as your best friend comes with a lot of perks, but seeing him grow? That has to be the biggest perk of them all.

‘’We’ll be there in five, mhm, yeah,’’ 

Wooyoung is great at managing stress, and he’s always been. Perhaps it comes with the job, you think, because you’re nowhere as patient as him; but you’re not a dancer, he is. ‘’Just prepare some champagne, the most expensive one,’’

Expensive, a word that slips off his lips so effortlessly. Expensive. Just like he himself. You observe the way his lips curl into a small smile, almost a smug one, as he hums into the phone. ‘’Perfect. I’ll see you soon,’’

‘’Expensive, huh?’’ Your words come out mumbled as he hangs up the phone, and to anyone else, it sounds like you’re criticizing him. But not to Wooyoung. To him, it’s confirmation; a compliment. Even though he does pick up on the teasing tone lingering behind your words. 

‘’Of course,’’ He lets out, small smile plastered on his lips as he reaches out to grab your hand in his. ‘’Only the most expensive champagne for the most expensive people.’’

A chuckle leaves the back of your throat. ‘’I wouldn’t call Hongjoong an expensive person,’’ You’re teasing him again, and he knows that. Hence the chuckle that rips through his chest, a chuckle filled with joy. ‘’If you only knew,’’ He replies, ‘’Those art supplies are probably worth more than your apartment.’’

Kim Hongjoong. An artist at heart, an artist that hasn’t quite succeeded just yet, but still an artist, nonetheless. He’s probably wearing something obscene tonight, you realize, something that only Kim Hongjoong would wear. 

You just hope he at least dyed his hair, so the blue color doesn’t take all the attention away from Wooyoung - not that he has. You know he hasn’t. Because Kim Hongjoong is an artist, and just what is an artist without expressing themselves?

‘’There are other important people coming, too.’’ His hand slip out of your own, returning to his lap, ‘’Really important people.’’

You hum, ‘’Do I know any of them?’’ You ask, even though you already know the answer based on his initial statement. You don’t know them. ‘’You’ve met San, right? I danced with him back last year, the solo,’’ 

Right, you have met San. If you hadn’t spent years observing the way Wooyoung dances, you would’ve said San is just as good as him. But he’s not. He’s good, he’s incredible; but he’s not Wooyoung. You’ve met San, you’ve seen him dance, but you don’t know him. ‘’He’s going to be there,’’ Your friend continues from across the cab, ‘’I think he might be bringing some people with him, too.’’

They’re important people, you realize. Whoever it is San is bringing with him, they’re important people; because otherwise, they wouldn’t be there. Wooyoung is bigger than most things, and he’s picky. Jung Wooyoung is a lot of things, you realize.

You hum, ‘’So there’s important people coming,’’ You note, ‘’But there’s someone more important.’’

Wooyoung wouldn’t order the most expensive champagne, unless there was someone special coming. He opts to settle for the average most of the time. It keeps him grounded, he had claimed once, helps him not stray away from where he came from. Before he became Jung Wooyoung, when he was just Wooyoung - who dreamed of bigger things.

The things he now had.

Your friend hums in both agreement and satisfaction, satisfaction probably from you knowing him so well. You know him so well, to the point where he doesn’t even have to say anything. You just know. ‘’Who is this special person, then?’’

Your question brings a smile back onto his lips, his gaze landing on you. It’s a playful gaze, a gaze only Wooyoung could give - a gaze that makes you truly wonder just who the special person is. 

‘’Trust me,’’ He lets out, the cab slowing down as he speaks, ‘’You’ll know once you see him.’’

Between Wooyoung hugging his friends and apologizing for being late to his own celebration, you notice that Hongjoong has, in fact, not dyed his hair. Not that that you excepted any less. 

‘’You don’t think he’ll be upset about my hair, right?’’ He mumbles into your hair as he pulls you in for a hug, a tight one, so he can whisper without Wooyoung hearing him. You chuckle as you pat him on the back, ‘’Only time will tell.’’

The blue-haired man looks at you as you pull away, not mirroring the small but playful smile plastered on your lips. You know Wooyoung probably won’t mind, but it’s Wooyoung. And you never know with Wooyoung.

The big grin that forms on Wooyoungs lips when his eyes land on Hongjoong, however, confirms that it won’t be a problem. ‘’I love the blue hair,’’ He exclaims, and it might sound like a backhanded compliment to some; but it’s not. He’s genuine, something both you and Hongjoong pick up on. 

‘’I was afraid it’d be too much,’’ Hongjoong nervously chuckles, to which Wooyoung just rolls his eyes before pulling him into a hug. 

‘’Nothing is ever too much for Kim Hongjoong.’’ Ironic, you think, because you could say the same about Wooyoung himself. And so can Hongjoong, but he doesn’t - instead he just chuckles into the hug. 

Sitting down, you realize that the other people surrounding the table are important people. San is indeed there, sitting at the edge of the table; offering you a small nod as you sit down. His slicked back hair and black suit prove to not only you, but to everyone else, that he’s important. 

But he’s not important enough for the most expensive champagne, you note. 

Neither are any of the other people San brought with him, people Wooyoung shook hands with for a little too long and possibly a little too hard. They’re important, they’re possibilities for Wooyoung and necessary for his next big step - but not expensive champagne important.

‘’I’m sorry for running a little late,’’ Wooyoung chuckles as he takes a seat, ‘’You can’t stress perfection, though, right, Hongjoong?’’ The wink he sends Hongjoongs way makes the table chuckle - even Hongjoong himself, even though he knows his friend is making fun of him and his precision. He’s an artist, after all. A very precise one. 

None of these people are important enough for the bottle of champagne placed in the middle of the table. Not only can you tell, but Wooyoung hasn’t touched it yet; which means the star of the show has yet to arrive.

The star of the show, besides Wooyoung, of course.

And just as Wooyoung picks up his already filled glass of wine to take a sip, his eyes widen. He never got to take that sip, because it’s already placed back on the table and he’s standing up before he has the chance to. ‘’Ah,’’ He exclaims, a wide grin plastered on his lips. ‘’Now the night can really begin.’’

Your eyes land on whatever, or whoever, your friend was looking at. Only then do you realize why Wooyoung had ordered the most expensive champagne, and why none of the other people seemed to be as important.

‘’Everyone,’’ Wooyoung announces, ‘’Please welcome the most important person of the night,’’

It’s Wooyoung, and you know that. Wooyoung is the most important person of the night, Wooyoung and Wooyoung only. No one else, just Wooyoung.

And possibly the stranger everyone now had their eyes on.

‘’The man himself,’’ Wooyoung continues, the same grin - a grin of pure bliss - still plastered on his lips, ‘’Park Seonghwa.’’

Pretty.

You think just that, pretty, the first time your eyes landed on Park Seonghwa.

Park Seonghwa. Tall, elegant, almost angelic in the most wicked way - and pretty. 

You weren’t sure what part of him made him pretty, perhaps it was the fact that he wasn’t exactly stunning, a little too plain to be considered extraordinary - remarkable, sure, devastating? Definitely. 

But stunning? Not quite yet.

So you settled for pretty, he is pretty, and eventually he’ll probably be stunning to you, too. Eventually. You don’t know when, but by his bittersweet beauty, you’re almost certain he’ll be stunning in your eyes at one point.

Until then, he’ll be devastatingly pretty. Pretty. Devastatingly so. 

”So I told him he’d have to find someone else,” Loud, that’s exactly what Wooyoung is - loud. He’s loud when he talks, he’s loud when expressing his emotions, he’s loud when he twists his limbs in ways you didn’t even know was humanly possible - all for the performance. That’s exactly what Wooyoung is, loud, in the best way possible. 

“Did he give you a hard time?” San isn’t as loud, something you pick up on behind the rim of your wine glass. Wooyoung shakes his head, confident while doing so. “No,” Once again, confident, “He knows better than that.”

“You’re too confident for your own good sometimes,” You know your own words are a lie, and so does everyone else at the table; but they let you lie. Wooyoung is confident, something he’s earned and deserves - but that doesn’t stop you from teasing him. 

His lips curl into a smile as he raises his glass, toasting before bringing it up to his lips. As to what, you’re not sure - yet you mimic his gestures, toasting. 

Toasting to Wooyoung’s confidence that landed him the center role in the biggest show of the year, toasting to the familiarity of sitting around the table with your close ones.

Toasting to the new, devastatingly pretty face. 

You let your eyes wander when bringing your glass up to your lips, and you know exactly where they’re wandering before you can even stop it from happening. Not that you would want to stop it from happening in the first place. 

Park Seonghwa. His black hair almost looks too perfect, the way it falls over his forehead and slightly above his eyes. It looks perfect to the point where you wish to slip your fingers into it, slightly ruffle it, and sit back down like nothing had happened.

Like that would stop your gaze from wandering back to him, over and over again.

He really is pretty, you realize, as the candlelight reflects in his eyes. Just where has Wooyoung been hiding him?

“I’m glad you all could make it,” Wooyoung is the first voice that brings you out of your trance, your wine glass back on the table and your eyes back on your friend instead. Your friend, instead of the devastatingly pretty stranger. 

“You really think we’d miss this?” Hongjoong is the second voice that brings you out of your trance, yet another excuse to not let your eyes dart back onto the stranger. Wooyoung’s laugh is loud, and you mentally thank him for it, because otherwise, your eyes would’ve wandered back onto him. 

Park Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa, who had only uttered about three words since he sat down. Park Seonghwa, who you can’t seem to tear your eyes off. 

“No, of course not,” He’s quick to defend himself, like Wooyoung always is, “But I know some of you have busy schedules, so I’m just thankful.”

This time, it isn’t just your eyes that wander over to the stranger. His eyes, however, remain on his friend. And you’re sure they sparkled a little extra as the corners of his lips curled into a smile. 

“Of course.”

Four words. Park Seonghwa had uttered four words since he sat down, four words too little yet four words too much - four words that seem to satisfy his friend, nonetheless. “He’s a model,” Wooyoung states, and it all suddenly makes sense to you, “It’s not often he’s in town, it’s a miracle he’s even able to be here right now to be honest.”

Tall, elegant, almost angelic in the most wicked way - and a model, something you could see coming light years away. If it wasn’t his looks giving it away, it was the way he preserved himself. They seem to do that, models, something you had picked up on after meeting one too many through Wooyoung.

“Ah,” Hongjoong lets out and you notice the way Seonghwas bangs slightly move across his forehead as he looks over at him, “So you’re the international friend Wooyoung keeps talking about.”

You hope that Hongjoongs curiosity would get him to tell more about himself, so you wouldn’t have to keep guessing. 

Does he like white or red wine more? He certainly looked like someone who prefers white wine, yet red wine goes more with his image, you think. Would he call a cab once the nights over, or does he have a driver already waiting for him? You think he drives a black car, definitely not a white one - it’s too flashy for someone like him. 

Not only is he devastating to look at, but he most certainly knows how to catch people’s attention by just existing. Does he know? Is he doing it on purpose, you wonder, just like you wonder if he’s caught onto your lingering gazes.

“She’s my childhood friend,” It isn’t until your eyes meet his you realize the conversation is now about you. “She’s the Y/N I’ve spoken about.”

He’s most definitely caught on. And he’s sneaky about it, just like you expected him to be. Maybe he’s easier to read than you originally thought. 

“Nice to finally meet you, Y/N.”

By the fourth sentence that had spilled past his lips ever since he sat down, your name leaves his lips. And it isn’t until the waiter brings him a glass of red wine and he slightly grimaces as the liquid comes into contact with his tongue that you realize you might have him all figured out. 

‘’Likewise,’’ You offer, even though you’ve never heard of him before. Which makes you wonder, once again, just where has Wooyoung been hiding him - and why?

His gaze lingers on you for a moment, almost like he’s letting you try to decipher him. Like he’s challenging you. You don’t. Not even when he allows you to look at him do you decipher him, if anything, you just find yourself growing even more curious. 

He’s important, he’s incredibly important, yet he’s a complete secret. And the rest of the table feels the same way, you realize. No one knows who he is, or why he’s important. He’s Wooyoung’s international friend, and that’s all you know.

And that he most definitely doesn’t enjoy drinking red wine.

He’s a white wine type of guy, and you know he’s just trying to be generous when he tells Wooyoung that the expensive champagne was too much and that he didn’t have to. But just like you know, he also knows Wooyoung did, in fact, have to. 

He knows Wooyoung, and you begin to wonder if Wooyoung even knows him.

‘’I was thinking about bringing this back to my place,’’ Wooyoung suddenly mumbles, slightly pulling down the fabric of his white button-up shirt to look at the clock decorating his wrist. ‘’Everyone’s welcome, if you have the time, of course.’’

Park Seonghwa is indeed a busy guy, you note - judging by the way Wooyoung glances at him after the words left his lips. Seonghwa just looks at him, just for a moment. Then there’s a smile forming on his lips, and you wait for his response. 

You expect a no. No, that he’s too busy, too busy to celebrate his friend. His friend who has never even mentioned him, yet his friend who seems to hold him very close.

‘’I’d love to,’’ You wait. You wait, you wait for him to continue. He doesn’t.

I’d love to, and Park Seonghwa proves to you that maybe you hadn’t figured him out just yet. 

Wooyoung visibly lights up upon hearing his words, a grin forming on his lips for the nth time that night. Almost like he doesn’t even care about the rest, their answer doesn’t even matter - because Seonghwa agreed to come, and that was enough.

It was enough for you, too. With a small nod Wooyoung’s way, you agree, and so does the rest of the table.

You don’t miss the way Seonghwa’s eyes linger on you for a while longer when he glances over the table, and you realize he was waiting to see if you’d agree. Just like you were waiting for him to agree.

Why has Wooyoung been hiding him, something you no longer feel the need to ponder about. You’ll know. Soon enough, you’ll know - and maybe, just maybe - Park Seonghwa won’t be such a devastating mystery for much longer. Still devastating, absolutely, but not a mystery. You hope. 

You can’t help but watch with curious eyes as Hongjoong lights up his cigarette. Not necessarily watching him, but more the way the flame of his lighter lights up the dark alley right by Wooyoungs apartment building. It’s cold, and you want to go inside, but you can tell there’s something Hongjoong has to say.

So you stay. You stay with him, even when Wooyoung insists that he can just smoke off his balcony instead - Hongjoong stays outside, and so do you. He waves it off as him not wanting Wooyoungs apartment to smell of cigarettes, like the smell won't stay and linger in the fabric of his clothes and infiltrate its way through his apartment anyways.

He’s just trying to be generous. You think. Or he has something to say. You end up settling for the latter, judging by the silent gaze he had given you before the rest of the group headed inside.

So you stay, shivering as the cold night air engulfs both of you; waiting. Waiting for him to speak up.

‘’I’ve never seen him before,’’ He lets out, only after successfully lighting his cigarette and deeply inhaling the smoke. ‘’Who?’’ You ask, even though you already know exactly who he’s talking about. 

Exhaling, he looks down at his cigarette before lightly tapping it using his pointer finger. ‘’Seonghwa.’’

You were right. Not only was Park Seonghwa a complete mystery to you, but to everyone else as well. 

Hongjoong, who knew most people - and by that you literally mean most people - didn’t know him. Hongjoong, who has known Wooyoung for almost as long as you, Hongjoong, who has worked with countless models across the country, didn’t even know who Park Seonghwa was.

You hum, a hum of agreement, watching as he brought the cigarette back to his lips. ‘’You’d think we’d at least heard about him, considering the way Wooyoung looked at him,’’

The way Wooyoung had looked at him. Such few words, yet the perfect way of describing it. ‘’Or I have, I mean, I have heard of him before,’’ Hongjoong continues, exhaling through gritted teeth. ‘’He’s talked about some model friend before, Wooyoung, I mean,’’ He continues. You just watch, listens as your friend talks. 

‘’But he’s never mentioned any names, you know?’’ He mumbles, his eyes darting up to look at you, earning a small nod from you. You can’t relate, but it does make you curious. ‘’Is it bothering you?’’

‘’Bothering me how, exactly?’’

‘’That he hasn’t told you about him,’’

Hongjoong treasures Wooyoung, you know that. Hongjoong saw something in Wooyoung before most people did, something it took years for others to see - and you know Wooyoung has a lot to thank Hongjoong for. If it wasn’t for Hongjoong knowing certain people in the industry, people that would later become very important, Wooyoung probably wouldn’t be where he is today.

So Hongjoong being worried, concerned - bothered even, by the new sudden face wouldn’t surprise you.

He stays quiet for a moment, his eyes flickering down to look at the cigarette placed between his fingers. There’s thought lingering behind his features, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip. ‘’No,’’ He lets out after a moment, ‘’Not necessarily.’’

You can tell he has to think about your question for a moment. And the unsureness behind his words tells you he still wasn’t sure, despite giving you a response. ‘’I think I’m just curious.’’

Now you relate. You couldn’t relate to Wooyoung mentioning his model friend, but being curious? Absolutely. Questioning, even. You hum as you pull your coat closer to your body, an attempt to shield off the cold air. 

‘’If it makes you feel any better,’’ You begin, ‘’I’ve never heard about him either. I’ve never even heard of him having a model friend.’’

There’s now shock lingering behind his features instead, his eyes darting away from the cigarette and up to you. You’re not surprised at the way he slightly raises his eyebrows, his lips parting; before they curl into a smile and he shakes his head. ‘’Damn,’’ He chuckles, taking one last puff of his cigarette before throwing it on the ground. ‘’I guess he really is special then.’’

Park Seonghwa was more than just special. You could tell, not only by the way Wooyoung acted around him - which wasn’t that different, Wooyoung always did look at his close ones with love and admiration after all - but by the way he carried himself as well.

Proud, and noble. Touching the border of almost coming across as arrogant, but not quite reaching the finish line to be considered smug.

Park Seonghwa was something else, something new; something you needed to figure out.

‘’Let’s head back inside,’’ Hongjoong mumbles, and you can tell he still has things left to say. But now isn’t the time, and he knows that. His questions would have to wait, and he knew you’d still be there to listen when the time was right.

You always found comfort in Wooyoung’s apartment. Big, spacious and luxurious. Almost like Wooyoung himself. 

The marble counter in his kitchen mirrors him perfectly, you realize. Shiny, overly expensive and it certainly brings a lot of attention. It was Hongjoong that had recommended that he got marble counters when he was renovating, and of course Wooyoung agreed - he even decided to get the same counters in his bathroom.

The apartment in itself wasn’t very comforting. As a matter of fact, it was the rather opposite. The lack of furniture and the dark color scheme wasn’t very welcoming, but Wooyoung wanted to go for the minimalistic vibe - and so he did. Very minimalistic, at that. 

But it is comforting, at least to you it is, because it’s Wooyoung’s apartment. Wooyoung, your best friend who despite living in what could only be described as a cement block with windows, managed to bring warmth to wherever he went.

His apartment, where you had spent countless of hours, was no exception.

Your fingertips glide over the marble counter, a small smile forming on your lips as you recall the arguments that it had caused. How Hongjoong insisted that he got a marble one, and when he did, he had gotten the wrong type. A type that Wooyoung wanted, a type Hongjoong hated. Not that it mattered, Wooyung was the one who was going to live with it - not Hongjoong.

It just didn’t match his artistic view, he had claimed. Not that Wooyung cared.

The chatter coming from the balcony echoed through the apartment, the chatter of the rest of the group. While everyone else found themselves enjoying the chilly night air after a few glasses of wine, you find yourself in Wooyoung’s kitchen.

You’re just about to reach for one of the bottles of wine Wooyoung had left on the counter, when the sound of someone entering the kitchen echoes through the room. You have to fight back a small smile from forming on your lips, because you can already tell who it is before your eyes even land on the figure walking through the archway.

So much for being mysterious, especially when you’re one of a kind. It gets easy, and it gets easy quickly to spot you when you stick out like a sore thumb. Park Seonghwa was no expectation, you quickly learned.

”Red or white wine?” He suddenly asks and you think how ironic it is that he’s asking. 

Both because he hadn’t uttered a single word to you ever since you arrived at Wooyoung’s apartment, sipping on a glass of red wine while listening to Wooyoung talking all night - but also because you could ask him the same thing. You already had, technically. Maybe you hadn’t asked him, but you most certainly had asked yourself.

Your eyes wander to him as he walks around the counter before they wander back to the two bottles of wine placed on the counter, one red, and one white. You let out a hum, to make it seem like you’re thinking about his question. ‘’I don’t know,’’ You reply, “What do you recommend?” 

You do know, you know your answer the second the question trails off his lips. “Red.” He’s quick to respond and he’s lying, because in the corner of your eye, you notice the way his eyes land on the bottle of white wine instead when the word slips past his lips.

The corners of your lips tug into a small smile, a smile you’re not sure he sees; and if he does see it, you’re certain he knows that you know. That you know he’s lying. ‘’Red it is then,’’ You let out as you reach to grab onto the red bottle, but not before Seonghwa has already curled his fingers around it.

‘’I do recommend red,’’ He lets out and you retract your arm, your gaze landing on him instead, ‘’But I can tell you’re more of a white wine person, so therefore, I’ll recommend white.’’

Huh. Not only does he look good, but he’s certainly good with words too. 

You let out a hum, a hum that turns into a chuckle as he carefully scoots the red bottle away from you before letting his fingers wrap around the white bottle instead. ‘’Not gonna lie,’’ You chuckle as he twists the cap open, ‘’I’m kind of impressed.’’ His eyes are focused on the bottle of wine, but you don’t miss the small chuckle that leaves his throat.

‘’It’s not hard, you know,’’ He states, his lanky fingers grabbing onto the side of the bottle once again. He looks up at you, your eyes meeting before they land on the wine glass placed on the counter next to you - nodding his head, signaling you to give him your glass.

So you do, you gently slide the glass across the marble counter. ‘’To tell what kind of wine a person likes.’’

Oh. That’s a hint, you realize. A hint that he knows you tried to decipher what kind of person he was back at the restaurant. Maybe you weren’t as discreet as you originally thought, no, scratch that. You already know you weren’t. You weren’t really trying to be, either. 

Silence falls upon the two of you as he pours the wine into your glass, a quiet hum of acknowledgment leaving your throat. ‘’How do you know Wooyoung?’’ You try to make it sound like you’re just making small talk, like you’re just trying to get to know him better. Which, in reality, you are; but it’s more just you being curious. 

‘’Me and Woo?’’ He lets out, looking up at you as he scoots the wine glass back to you. You hum once again, muttering out a small ‘thank you’ before wrapping your fingers around the now-filled glass of wine as he grabs his own glass and begins to pour the same white wine into it.

So the red wine really was for his image, white wine more to his taste now when there weren’t people around. 

A small chuckle leaves the back of his throat, ‘’We go way back, we have history together, I guess.’’

Another lie. He’s lying again, because you and Wooyoung go way back - and you’ve never heard of him before today. You don’t tell him that though, you don’t tell him you know he’s lying. There’s a small chance he isn’t lying, after all, and Wooyoung might just be more secretive than you thought. 

So you decide to test the waters. ‘’So did you, like,’’ You begin, carefully watching him as you bring your glass up to your lips. ‘’did you ever date?’’

For the first time, you notice he’s taken aback. But he’s quick to compose himself, so quick that if you hadn’t been watching him you wouldn’t even have noticed the way your question caused him to stop in his tracks. Just for a split second, but for a second, nonetheless - before he’s back to pouring the wine.

‘’No,’’ He chuckles, ‘’Nothing like that,’’ 

This time you know he’s telling the truth. You would’ve known if they ever dated, because that, Wooyoung would’ve told you. You just wanted to test him, after all. You’re about to tell him you’re sorry for assuming, taking a small sip of the wine before; but you never get the chance to. 

‘’I just don’t do one-night stands, you know.’’

Oh. You’ve been eyeing Wooyoung’s fuck buddy the entire night. That would certainly explain why you had never heard of him.

His comment almost causes you to choke on your drink, the wine threatening to spill past your lips as your eyes widen. ‘’Oh,’’ You choke out, perhaps too quickly. You’re sure he notices just how taken aback you are, using the back of your hand to wipe your mouth and putting the wine glass down in order not to spill it. ‘’I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume anything, I didn’t know you two, I didn’t m-’’

His chuckle interrupts your rambling and you’re kind of thankful it does. Before you can make a fool out of yourself, before you can say too much - before completely ruining all your chances of uncovering just who Park Seonghwa is. 

‘’Wait,’’ He chuckles, his eyes landing on you and your obvious state of panic. ‘’You don’t,’’ He continues and he suddenly looks almost as frightened as you, ‘’You think me and Woo hook up?’’

You just stare at him. Isn’t that what he just said? You’re almost certain that’s what he was trying to imply, between his choice of words and his need to sound almost poetic - something only Hongjoong does - you’re certain.

As you remain quiet, another chuckle rips through his chest. ‘’No,’’ He laughs, and you can’t help but find his laugh cute. Kind of. It’s also kind of terrifying, considering the situation. You’re not sure if he’s laughing because he finds your assumption funny, or if he’s offended. ‘’God, no, we never hooked up,’’ 

Perhaps it's the latter, but you hope, you really do, it's the first option. That he just finds your assumption about your best friend and his relationship funny. Nothing else. Especially not offensive. You’re not sure why it would be, yet the fear of it coming across as offensive lingers.

‘’I was talking about you and me.’’

Well, that definitely took a turn for the worse. Much worse. Perhaps you would’ve preferred him being offended, at least over whatever he was currently implying. ‘’Oh,’’ You manage to choke out and you realize you sound like you’ve just been caught committing a crime, ‘’Oh, I didn’t,’’

Fuck. You’re stuttering and even though you can’t see yourself, you know you’re flushed based on the warmth spreading across your cheeks.

‘’I’m sorry, what?’’ You try to regain your composure. You, however, aren’t too sure you succeed. You’re certain he hears the confusion lingering behind your words though.

‘’Your gazes didn’t go unnoticed, you know,’’ The words lips past his lips too easily, too easily for your liking, ‘’I’m pretty sure the whole table noticed you eye fucking me,’’

You weren’t eyefucking him. Not really, at least. Maybe you were. You probably were.

But you wouldn’t call it eyefucking, more like studying. Yeah, studying sounds way better; even though you kind of were eyefucking him.

You really were eyefucking him, weren’t you?

He’s extremely upfront, something you couldn’t have known or seen coming. And you don’t like it, you realize. Not in the slightest. 

You don’t just say that, not to someone you’ve only exchanged a few words with, and besides one mutual friend, is essentially a stranger. Not that it would stop Park Seonghwa.

Because he’s Park Seonghwa, something you’re starting to realize isn’t necessarily a good thing. 

”Hey,” He must’ve noticed you zoned out, because suddenly he’s waving his hand in front your face. Like he didn’t just tell you he’s seen right through you the whole night. “Don’t worry, it’s okay, I mean, it’s not that I won’t hook up with you,”

It’s getting worse each passing second, and you realize you have to get the conversation under control. Quickly.

 “Wait,” You let out, the word quickly slipping past your lips so he doesn’t have the chance to interrupt. He doesn’t interrupt, instead, he just slightly tilts his head. You definitely wouldn’t have anything against hooking up with him, too. “We’re not hooking up, and we were never going to either, where is all this coming from?”

You already know where it’s coming from. He looks at you for a moment, before reaching for his glass of wine. “I’m just telling you,” He shrugs, keeping his eyes on you as he brings the glass to his lips to take a sip. “I don’t do one-night stands.”

You don’t understand Park Seonghwa. And the dream, desire even, of ever understanding him crumble right in front of you the more he speaks. “Right,” You hesitatingly agree, “Good for you, but I still don’t see how or why that’s relevant to me or your relationship with Wooyoung.”

You’re trying to stir the conversation back to how he knows Wooyoung, not that it’s working. You didn’t think it would work either. You kind of don’t even want it to work. 

“It’s not,” He shrugs once again, tearing his eyes off you as they follow his hand, placing the glass of wine back onto the counter. “Just thought you should know that if we’re going to do this, it won’t be just a one time thing.”

By the end of the sentence, his eyes are back on you. 

Turns out Park Seonghwa and his devastatingly pretty face could read you like an open book. And you’re not complaining, at least not yet.

”I know,” You can hear Wooyoung groan, “It’s such a bummer Mingi couldn’t come,” It’s hard not to hear him most of the time, but especially after a few glasses of wine. “I think he’ll be back soon though, I’ll make sure he can come next time,”

You can hear the rest of the group talking, too, not just Wooyoung - even though he’s certainly the loudest one. You’d think he would’ve made sure the walls were more soundproof, something you’ve never really thought or cared about before, but is now realizing. They’re not really soundproof at all.

You should be out there, chatting and laughing with the rest of the group. You should be out there, celebrating your friend and his success. Meet his friends, his colleagues and then get dragged to the side when Wooyoung wants your opinion on someone - if he should work with them or not, like your opinion really matters. You have no idea if the people currently sitting on Wooyoung’s couch are worthy enough, but you know it’s just your opinion as a friend that matters.

A friend. A friend, who is currently tangling their fingers through Park Seonghwa’s hair. Not a friend who is out there celebrating, but a friend who snuck into one of the two bathrooms to get fucked - by someone Wooyoung had kept secret, for good reasons, too - you realize.

Soft, with a hint of roughness. That’s what you think when his lips collide with yours for the first time, and only then does it kind of make sense to you why Wooyoung had kept him a secret, because if you had gotten a taste of this earlier - a taste of him - you’re not sure you would’ve been able to let it go.

You’re not sure you can now either, now that you have gotten a taste.

All it took was one small nod from you, and he had already wrapped his hand around your wrist and led you out of the kitchen; leaving the two wine glasses on top of the marble counter. One small nod and you suddenly find yourself behind the locked bathroom door, and his lips are on yours almost immediately.

No warning, not that you think a warning would’ve helped prevent the small whine that trails off your lips when his collides with yours. His grip is gentle, even when he lets go of your wrist and grabs onto your waist instead is it still gentle. You’re not sure what to think, because this wasn’t something you had thought about - not something you thought would happen tonight.

You could kind of see it coming, though, looking back at it.

“I meant what I said,” He mumbles into the kiss, pulling away ever so slightly, “I don’t do one-night stands, really.” You just nod in response, not really paying attention to just what he was telling you. You just wanted him to kiss you.

His eyes flicker across your face, like he’s trying to decipher you the same way you had tried to decipher him the whole night. “So if you do this, with me, you know this isn’t going to be a one-time thing?”

Again, you don’t really think about it too much, brushing it off as him just trying to keep his image. Mysterious, hard to get - not like others. 

Wooyoung’s international friend. Wooyoung’s busy international friend, who wasn’t in town often.

That much you had gathered about Seonghwa, so the chances of this happening again were slim. Nonexistent, practically. 

So you nod again. You agree to his statement that somehow became a question, because you know it’s just going to be a one-time thing and Seonghwa is just trying to maintain his image. It has to be a one-time thing, because you haven’t uncovered who he really is yet - and this? It’s a crucial step.

Maybe not. On second thought, it might not be important to uncovering who he is. Uncovering what type of lover he is isn’t really going to help you decipher him. He might be completely different, you realize, most people are.

Maybe you just want to fuck him, and there’s no other excuse. You do just want to fuck him. 

He looks at you for a moment, and you think he doesn’t really believe you when you say that you know what he means. He has every right to not believe you, because you don’t even believe yourself when you nod your head to let him know you do know what he means. 

His lips are back onto yours, and you note that it's not as soft this time. It’s rough, rougher, and possibly even more delicate than the last. Your fingers slip back into his hair, pulling him closer to you - something that earns a low grunt from the man standing in front of you. You’re almost embarrassed when you feel a heat starting to spread across your abdomen, by nothing but kissing and a low grunt. A low grunt you’d like to hear again.

So you gently tug at his hair, hoping to hear it again - and you do. Another low grunt rips through his chest and his grip on your waist grows more firm before he takes a step forward, which you follow by taking one backward - your lower back suddenly colliding with the marble counter.

The very same marble counter that Wooyoung had in the kitchen, the same marble counter Wooyoung and Hongjoong argued over - the marble counter that you left your wine glass on.

The marble counter the pretty stranger now has you pressed up against. His hands slowly wander down your sides, his finger ghosting over your clothed skin and you almost let out a yelp as his fingers ghost over the inside of your thighs. 

Delicate. Everything about Seonghwa seems to be delicate, and his touch is no different. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it, how his fingers would feel. The way his fingertips ran over the rim of his wine glass throughout the night left little to your imagination, after all.

He pulls away from the kiss, just to press a soft kiss onto your cheek, before leaving another one on your jaw. “One more thing,” It’s almost a whisper against your skin, his voice so low that the soft kisses left behind across your jaw almost muffle the words, “I won’t fuck you.”

And just like that, the touch is no longer delicate - it’s rough. His fingers press into the skin of your exposed thighs, forcing them apart; quicker than you can register, quicker than you can react. “What?” You choke out.

You’re confused. You’re confused, because he won’t fuck you - yet he’s forcing your thighs apart so he can slot himself in between them. And it seems like he has no plan on explaining himself, not yet, because all he does is hum in response and his fingers stay pressed against your thighs.

“But,” You begin, and you’re not sure if you’re protesting; or if you’re just confused. Probably a mix of both, because you want him to fuck you - isn’t that why he dragged you in here? To fuck you, or was his idea of a one-night stand not the same as yours?

You don’t really get to protest, though. Because even though his fingers stay pressed against your thighs in an attempt to keep them separated, they wander further up; gliding across your skin. And it isn’t until his fingers ghost by the hem of your underwear you realize what he means.

“I won’t fuck you,” He presses another kiss onto your jaw, “Not now, not yet,” Another kiss. “Are you okay with that?” 

A question he wants you to answer, an answer he practically gives to you as his fingers slowly creeps under the hem of your underwear. He isn’t going to fuck you, because he has other things he wants to do. Other things he has to do, before he fucks you.

So for the third time since you entered the bathroom, you nod. You nod because it’s the only response you can give, especially when he presses two of his fingers over your slit - not too hard, but hard enough for you to feel it. Hard enough for you to throb against his fingers, hard enough for him to feel you.

Another kiss onto your jaw, a firm one, and he runs his finger down your slit. The action almost causes a whine to leave your lips, but he’s quick to stop it from even forming in the back of your throat. “You’re also going to have to be quiet, but I don’t have to tell you that, right?”

He’s a delicate lover, with a hint of roughness. A roughness you’re not sure you’ll ever get to see, but a roughness you can feel lingering behind his touches, nonetheless - and he has a lot of rules.

No one nightstands, he won’t fuck the first time around and you have to be quiet. You’re certain there are more rules he has, rules you’ll never know about. “Yes,” You whisper out. You’ll be quiet, both because you don’t want the rest of the group to hear as you hook up with the pretty stranger but also because he tells you to.

Mainly because he tells you to. He hums against your skin and his fingers dips lower, the tips almost slipping into you as he does; but you know he won’t let it, not just yet. “Good,” He breathes and his finger runs back up your slit, “Good girl.”

You’re almost embarrassed when you throb against him once more, and you realize you’ve just unknowingly confirmed to him that you enjoyed that. Good girl. Two words that aren’t necessarily words that would normally turn you on, but when it leaves Park Seonghwa’s lips?

You don’t get to think about that, because every thought is ripped away from you the second his fingers start drawing small circles over your clit. Not fast, not hard - just soft, small circles. Circles that feels too good, even though he’s not even applying pressure. “If you don’t like something, you tell me,” He mumbles, “And if you do like something, you also tell me.”

Maybe staying quiet would be a problem, after all. “Yes,” You repeat yourself, and your fingers slip further into his hair. He keeps drawing circles over your clit, still small and soft, and you know he’s just trying to prepare you.

But you’re already prepared, and you have been. You’ve been prepared the whole night, you realize. From the second your eyes landed on him, you’ve been prepared, you didn’t know it then - but you certainly know it now. 

“Did you like that?” He mumbles, his fingers still drawing small circles over your clit. “What?” You let out, because you’re not sure what he’s referring to. “Good girl,” 

The way you grip onto his hair tighter upon hearing the words leaving his lips should be good enough for an answer, you think. But it’s not, because he wants you to tell him. “Yes, I liked that,” You breathe, and he finally applies some more pressure onto your clit. Almost like a reward, and you begin to realize just what type of lover he is.

He uses his other hand, the hand he uses to keep your legs separated, to grab onto your underwear and pull them to the side before letting his hand return to its original position. He has more space to move now that his hand is no longer restricted by your underwear, something he immediately takes advantage of.

The circles go from small and soft, to slightly quicker and he applies even more pressure. Not a lot, but enough for your eyes to flutter shut and warmth to spread throughout your body. A satisfied him escapes the back of his throat, his face now nuzzled in the crook of your neck. You can feel him breathing against your skin, teeth slightly nibbling on it and you have to grab onto his hair even harder in order to not let the pleasure consume you entirely.

You don’t think fingers have ever felt so good before. And he’s just teasing you, you realize. He’s not even giving you his all, and the thought of him giving you his all makes you feel slightly dizzy. Because if this is just him teasing you, just what is he truly capable of?

“I told you to be quiet,” He suddenly lets out, ripping you away from the thoughts of him giving you his all, “Not to be in your head.”

Maybe you are thinking too much. You had already established the fact that you’re in this position because you want to, not because you need to - the need to figure him out long gone. So there’s no point in thinking, not right now, you realize. “I’m sorry,” You let out, so quietly you don’t think he even heard you. 

He did hear you, something he proves to you by slowly speeding up his actions. Something that causes a gasp to leave your lips, something that brings a small smirk onto his lips - a smirk you can’t see - but a smirk you can feel. 

“Talk to me,” He whispers against your skin and you find it hard to. You find it hard to talk to him, because you don’t know what to say and you don’t necessarily want to either. You want him to speed up, to apply more pressure, to make you come. It’s not going to be that easy, though, and you know that. “Tell me what you like, what you want me to do.”

It’s a chase, and it’s always going to be. He enjoys the chase, you realize. He wants to be chased, and he wants to chase you, too; so he doesn’t speed up, nor does he apply more pressure onto your clit. He wants you to tell him. Something you can’t give him, not right now.

And he realizes this. And he makes it easy for you, something you’re thankful for; something you know you’re probably going to regret later on. It’s one of his rules, after all, that you tell him. You’re not sure what it means to break one of his rules, but you’re certain you’ll find out.

 “Tell me,” He breathes again, his fingers not stopping, not once. “Do you want me inside, or outside?” 

He really does make it easy for you. He lays it all out for you, letting you pick rather than telling him what to do. You’re not sure if he’s doing it to make it easier for you, or for himself; but making things easier? That it does. “Inside,” You tell him, “Please.” 

You add the please at the last minute for safety measure, which seems to work; a pleased hum leaving his lips as his fingers stop rubbing circles over your clit and run down your slit instead. “You don’t like telling me what to do,” He notes as his fingers run lower, “But you’re supposed to tell me that, no?”

Right. You’re supposed to be telling him what you like and don’t like, you’re not supposed to let him figure it out on his own. It’s more fun that way, though, you think. “You prefer me taking control,” He really does read you like an open book. Or maybe it’s the arousal that slips out of you that tells him. “You’re not vocal,” He continues.

“You told me not to be,” Your voice comes out shakily and you realize it’s the most you’ve spoken since you sat foot in the bathroom. A small smile forms on his lips upon hearing your words, a smile you can feel against your neck, as his fingers tease your now sticky entrance. “And you’re kind of bratty.”

His fingers slip into you just as soon as the words leave his lips, and he’s already knuckle deep by the time a low moan leaves your lips. It’s a moan mixed together with a gasp, a sound so foul that you almost feel dirty as it leaves your lips. It’s too late to feel dirty, though, because it’s already been dirty for a long time. The whole situation became dirty the second you decided to slip into your best friend's bathroom with a stranger.

A stranger, a stranger who despite not knowing you at all, can read you like an open book. A stranger you fear you might need more of.

A satisfied hum leaves the back of his throat as his knuckles comes into contact with your sticky entrance, his fingers stilling inside of you. “And correct me if I’m wrong,” He speaks, “But I think you enjoy being fucked by a stranger while your best friend is right outside.”

The way you clench around his fingers is what gives it all away. He chuckles, and his fingers slowly begin to slip out of you. And he almost lets them, he almost lets them slip all the way out, before he parts his lips to speak again. “You do, don’t you? Your friend who you’re supposed to be celebrating,”

He slides them back in, this time a lot harder. “Your friend who just made a deal worth millions,” His thumb comes back up to rub your clit, “Your friend who probably wants you there with him, yet you’re in here,” Fuck. “Coating a stranger's fingers in your arousal?”

Park Seonghwa might be the devil, you realize. What a bittersweet way to find out, something you’ve probably known all along.

“Seonghwa,” You’re dizzy, even though he’s barely touched you. You’re dizzy and you stutter when you try to speak, mainly because his fingers are now thrusting into you at the most perfect speed. You stutter because his thumb rubs your clit just right, you stutter because his breath feels hot on your skin and you stutter because you’ve never met someone like Park Seonghwa before.

Seonghwa, however, takes your stutter as a warning. A warning that he took things too far. “Too far? Remember, talk to me,”

He sounds sincere, worried almost, he really does. And you almost believe him, and you probably would have; if it wasn’t because of his fingers still thrusting into you and his thumb still circling your clit, his pace never changing. Not even when he thinks he might’ve taken it too far.

“No,” You whimper out, “Perfect. It’s perfect,” 

It truly is perfect. The marble counter feels cold against your back, a result of your skirt riding up your body the more you separate your thighs in order to give him more access. More access to you. His fingers feel warm, lanky inside of you and his breath against your neck feels welcoming almost. Perfect. It all feels perfect, and you don’t really want it to end.

But unfortunately, it does have to end and the end is approaching faster than you would’ve liked. You’re questioning a lot of things, and you realize it’s because of him. 

You’re questioning why you’re not out with your best friend, celebrating him, you’re questioning if anyone’s even noticed the fact that both you and Seonghwa aren’t out there accompanying them; just like you’re questioning why Park Seonghwa is so good with his fingers.

So good that you can already feel the familiar knot getting ready to snap in your lower stomach, a knot that brings waves of pleasure through your body; the knot that signals that the end is approaching.

You’re not sure if Seonghwa notices the end approaching, too, but you think he might. Between broken whimpers spilling past your lips as you have rest your head against his shoulder in order not to let them slip out too loudly and you clenching around his fingers, he should notice. And you think he might slow down, because you don’t want the end to come around just yet.

He doesn’t. He doesn’t slow down, and maybe he doesn’t realize the end is, in fact, approaching. And it’s approaching fast.

So you go to tell him, or you try to, but you barely even get to utter a single breath before he’s curling his fingers deep inside of you; something that takes your breath away and brings the knot even closer to snapping. 

“Come.”

He did know, and by the time the word has slipped past his lips, it’s too late to protest.

So you do, with one last whimper leaving your lips; you come, your fingers slipping out of his hair and onto his shoulders as you do. You’re not sure just how hard you’re gripping onto him as your orgasm washes over you, but hard enough to keep yourself grounded and to prevent yourself from collapsing in his arms. 

He stills his fingers, but keeping them inside of you as his thumb continues to rub you through your orgasm. The hand he had just used to keep your legs separated leaves your thigh, and in the midst of coming down from your orgasm you feel him slip his fingers into your hair. He leans closer to you, pressing a small kiss onto your temple, a kiss that feels almost too intimate - like he hasn’t just made you cum. 

He presses his lips onto your temple a couple of more times, and it isn’t until a shaky breath leaves your throat that he stops moving his thumb as well. His fingers stay in your hair, using his thumb to gently stroke your scalp. He’s trying to calm you down, you realize. And it’s most definitely working.

Because you find yourself melting into his touch, resting your forehead against his shoulder as you try catching your breath. You’re not sure if you’ve ever experienced an orgasm that intense before, and certainly not that quick, either. 

What you are sure about, however, is that you might’ve just made the worst mistake in your entire life. Because now you’re not sure how you’re ever supposed to move on, move on from Park Seonghwa and his fingers.

You stay like that for a while, with his thumb gently caressing your hair and his lips pressed against your temple - still desperately trying to catch your breath. It isn’t until he slowly begins to slip his fingers out of you that you realize they were, in fact, still buried inside of you.

It feels empty, as he pulls them out. You almost want him to thrust them back in, and a part of you expects him to do just that. He doesn’t, he doesn’t thrust them back in like you expected - and you realize that’s all he had planned. No second orgasm, not nothing - just a taste. 

A taste of Park Seonghwa.

While his hand gently tugs your now soaked underwear back in place, his other hand slips out of your hair and comes down your face before cupping your jaw. You slowly raise your head, and you almost start feeling dizzy once again when your eyes meet his.  “You okay?” 

He sounds sincere. This time, he really does sound sincere - his words not laced with the same playfulness as earlier and you can’t bring yourself to do anything but nod in response. His eyes flicker over your face, searching for any type of sign that you’re not okay. He can’t find any, because you are okay. You’re more than okay.

“Are you,” You’re the first one to speak up, “are you okay?” 

Your question brings a smile onto his lips, a confused smile, but still a smile. “Me?” He asks, slightly tilting his head, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

His hand stays cupping your jaw as you shake your head into his embrace. “No, I mean,” You begin, and you suddenly find it hard to speak about the situation that had just happened. “You don’t want me to, you know,”

It’s not just hard, but embarrassing. You’re not sure why it’s embarrassing, but it is - and the unsureness behind your words causes his smile to widen. “Oh, no,” He lets out, his thumb gently stroking your cheek, “Don’t worry about me, this is what I wanted.”

He’s most definitely a delicate lover, and a thoughtful one. This was for your pleasure, not his - even though you’re certain he found it almost just as pleasurable as you. “Are you sure? I can help you out, if you want to,” You still ask, to make sure, to make sure you’re not missing anything. You look for any hidden messages behind his words, to see if he’s just testing you - but there isn’t any.

Instead, his smile is warm as he shakes his head. “I told you,” He says, “This is what I wanted.”

You leave it at that. You nod, and he begins to loosen his grip on you; something you realize you don’t particularly want to happen. You don’t really don’t want to leave his warm embrace, but you know you have to, and a part of you almost aches when you realize it’s probably the last time you’ll get to be in his embrace.

Because Park Seonghwa is a stranger, a devastatingly pretty one, but he’s still a stranger - something he’ll remain as.

“I want you to come to my show.”

Or maybe not. 

You hadn’t fully realized that he had let you go until the words slip past his lips and your arms fall down your side once again, leaving his shoulders as he moves to look at himself in the mirror. Your eyes follow him, watching as he leans over the counter to get a better view of himself. ‘’Your show?’’

His hair still falls perfectly over his forehead, and the urge to run your fingers through his hair still remains; and even though it would probably be more acceptable to do so now, you refrain. He just hums in response, his fingertips brushing over his bangs to smooth them down. Not that he necessarily needs to, they do still hover just perfectly above his eyes, after all.

‘’I’ll be in town for a while,’’ He mumbles, his hands coming down to fix the collar of his shirt, ‘’I have a show next weekend, I want you there.’’

Unbothered, casual even. That’s what he sounds like when he tells you he’ll be in town for a while, and when he unknowingly confirms that maybe - just maybe - Park Seonghwa won’t be a stranger for much longer.

‘’Oh,’’ You mumble, the small of your back still leaning against the marble counter. The same marble counter he had just a few moments prior been fingering you against. ‘’I’ll have to check, if I have the time, I mean,’’ 

Your mind flickers back to the events that had just unfolded and once again, you realize it’s a chase. A chase he’s enjoying, and probably the reason why you’re even with him right now. Because it’s a chase, and he likes to be chased. And he wants to be the one chasing, too.

You know for a fact you’re free the following weekend, but it’s a chase - so you lie.

A small smile forms on his lips, even though he’s still looking in the mirror. You’re not sure what kind of smile it is, if it’s a smile in agreement, or if he’s smiling because he’s already caught onto your small lie. If the latter, he doesn’t say anything.

You don’t need to explain yourself once you quietly slink back into the group. They already know, and they don’t care. If Seonghwa’s words hold any truth, they had already caught onto the lingering gazes you had given him all night. They all probably saw this coming, you realize, everyone but you.

Especially Wooyoung, who sits in one of his armchairs with a glass of wine in one of his hands, a glass he raises into the air once you enter the room once again; toasting. Toasting to the new, devastatingly pretty face.

[nhoirr]

KEEP A PLACE FOR ME. | Album by gojo satoru

#.GOJO SATORU X READER

1/3 ★ : TRACK O1, = chapter one. — “SPRING CAME TO KEEP A PLACE FOR ME.”

PREFACE : A love that sprouted way back during early days, young eyes too naive to see the truth — what would unfold in later events are the weight of the lies spoken that very faithful night.

PROMP & THEMES : Childhood sweethearts, foolish teens inlove, fem-reader, some-implied-misunderstandings.

#.smitten!gojo, #.ooc?, #.fluff, #.angst, #.cliché-scenes, #.bittersweet.

❒ .BACK TO TRACKLIST / TAGS ?

#.ALBUM? — 💽 : SPRING CAME - g. satoru.

❒ .TRACK-LIST • O1. keep a place for me • O2. [no place other than home] • O3. [too soon, too late] – RECORD SLEEVE.

you first met GOJO SATORU when you were young, a formal meeting of the clans to discuss their collaboration — a momentary meeting, a fleeting bow and starlike eyes meets at a place where time seems to stop.

innocent eyes staring at the abyssal ocean depths that never seemed to have its end, threatening to swallow you whole.

never did you think such pretty eyes could be so terrifying.

".. do you want a tart?" you nervously push your plate to the glaring boy, his eyes following your fingers like guarded cat.

but infront of the sweet treat does the ocean waves calm, glancing at you once or twice before finally accepting the offer.

It was not at all a pleasing meet, but it was then did your friendship start.

from polite knitted poise of greeting, to whispers under the table with interlocked pinkies, stifled laughs during late night escapees through his bedroom windows — you were a menace, and your influence seemed to rub off on him.

the once less than a glance now turned to longing stares speaking a million words, from the many times it's happened, you could read each other's intentions through it — like a special messenger where only the two of you could read what the letters contained.

one time, across the meeting table where the two clans flock together, prideful geeks speaking like birds of a feather. always so passionate when it comes to matters about their clans, status and what not — like peacocks flexing their plumes.

with eyes glazed with tiredness and boredom, a burning gaze had you seeking where it came. your tense shoulders immediately slacken when you meet a familiar pair of eyes, glaring at you with the words you've been waiting to hear since this god forsaken meeting had started — let's run away.

and you take your chance, watching the way the younger boy disappears down beneath the tables — panic quickly quelled when you realize no one noticed, nor seemed to really care to at the moment. so you follow suit, ducking down to crawl within the small but long meeting table. almost immediately meeting eyes cheekily with the boy, but he moves a finger to his mouth, stopping you from speaking.

Just then, clan leaders immediately shout in panic — scuffling to their feet, breaking their neck by looking all around for the two heirs that have gone missing.

you nod along, trying to bite down the laugh bubbling up inside of you, while your eyes following keenly when he points at the door. the exit.

he glances at you — extending a hand for you to take as he counts to three with his fingers.

and once he counts to three, you both ran like there was no tomorrow.

little you held his hand and hid behind bushes, leaves dusting both your forms and you've never seen such a lively expression on the boy's face, laughing for once like a child of your age.

"its clear, I think." he murmurs beneath what was left of his breath, heaving a sigh of relief with his hand to his beating chest, heart still drumming in his ears with adrenaline from the run.

you give a stuttered laugh, chasing your breath to say, "that was so awesome."

there was a moment where you both meet eyes, cheeky expression and a victorious grin — one stifles a laugh, causing the other to laugh in sync. melodic fits of giggles you both sounded in harmony underneath the starry night.

"you almost got us caught," he reminds you without any bite, almost teasing if you really read between the tones. "and we didnt," you bark back smugly puffing out your chest, which he laughs to.

time seems to subside and laughs begin to fade into the night, you find yourself watching the stars. even when you've finally caught your breath, your heart still thumps with adrenaline at the sight.

"hey," he starts, breaking the silence yet peace still seems to fall. "can you still run?" you perk up at his request, seeing there was no jest, you smile as an answer.

standing up first, you repeat your answer; vocally, "you think?"

and.. never in your life did you think you could run. you knew you ran fast, but for that long?

you were starting to regret your past words of confidence, internally screaming at your past self for your own foolishness.

should you even mention the boy who was the same age as you, having the stamina of a lion?

"w-wait!" you shout, feeling your knees buckle and your hands fly to your knees - catching your breath. "where.." you breathe, "where are we going anyways?"

you could faintly hear the sounds of the grass moving halt.

"somewhere," you feel a vein pop - immediately taking back the words of thanks you were going to say for waiting. "cant we rest?" you reason, raising your head to see he was looking else where. as if pondering your words.

there was a secondary pause, hesitating before he tilts his head to the said to say, ".. come with me."

you feel the energy lost come back at his words, enough to ignore the aching of your legs as you follow him with a skip to your steps.

.. whatever hope you had disperses in matters of minutes when your form slouches from tiredness, and now returned to a groaning, noisy complaining fit.

"you said we'll rest!" you complain.

he shrugs his shoulders, not batting an eye when you seem to fall behind, "I never said that," he answers - annoyance building up inside of you so much that you remember this was how much you hated him before, as much as you feared him atleast.

merely you let out a bummed sigh, and you wonder if you would ever get the time to rest your poor tired feet. "were almost there," he answers your thoughts and you raise your head to speak with a scoff, "really? where-"

the words on your tongue seems to drift to be forgotten with your latter annoyance, your eyes now enchanted by the view of the falling stars and lush garden.

there was such a place? you dont think you would ever find out if it weren't for him, you give him credit for that.

too dazzled by the sight, you don't notice the way he looks your way. "its beautiful," feeling his gaze, you look his way with a smile, catching the way he tenses like deers in the headlights - swiftly turning his head to look at the night sky, "yeah," he coughs out, but you catch the pink tint coloring his ears, uncovered by his white locks.

"it is."

"were you looking at me?" you call him out and he almost jumps, looking at you with annoyance that has you fulfilled - a bit petty of you, but you wanted revenge for his annoying behavior earlier. "you could've sai-"

"I wasn't!" he shouts causing you to blink, mesmerized he was showing more emotion to this than any of your findings - apart from sweet treats. "so defensive," you puff out a breath, thinking if you should rile him up more.

.. ofcourse, would that even be a question? "then why are you red?" — you'd take all the reactions you can with this rare opportunity.

he 'calmly' sighs, "its simply.. hot today."

almost perfectly on cue, the wind blows with the coldness of the night, as if to betray him for his lies.

"right.." you don't press on further, saving him the embarrassment.. not like he'd ever live this down.

he opens his mouth to save whatever was left of his dignity, but you beat him to it. "do you think this will happen again?" you slowly walk your way over to the fountain laying at the center of the garden, sitting by the stones beside it - careful not to fall.

curiously, he follows you with cat-like eyes, "what will?"

you pat the space beside you, beckoning him to sit with you, "come look at the view."

carefully he sits, keeping a distance away but not enough where your hand seem to hover on his own for a fleeting moment.

from embarrassment or disgust, you both recoil away as if the touch burnt you.

realization dawning with a synchronized 'oh' - your eyes meet once again, a pause for a moment or two before you both laugh at each other.

"this is what I mean," you suddenly say, and he stops. "this?" - he repeats your words as if to test if the meaning would change if he says it, but it seems to inquire more of an answer.

an answer you couldn't give, not into words atleast.

you could describe it as a feeling.

"this moment," the answer flies over his head when he stares blankly, but doesn't push forward. if he did, perhaps you could've explained that day what you meant.

"i.. also get lost in the moment here, whenever I look at the skies." he seems to create a meaning of his own to your words, and you don't correct him either, "you come here often?" he pauses, looking down to the flowers blooming at his feet, "when I want to escape.. from everything."

there seemed to be more weight to his words, was it a sensitive topic?

"no one knows about this," you freeze at his words, giving a lopsided smile when he turns his head to look at you, halting again to return your smile - awfully menacing considering you felt guilty and threatened, if this was his secret hide-out, why did he tell you?

as if to answer the thought - "thats why I showed you," you don't know if this was a threat or a comfort..

"am I your accomplice now?"

he gives you a smile that makes you shiver for the first time this cold night.

he presses a finger to his lips, whispering not any louder than a voice pretending someone could hear, "keep it a secret between us."

that night he whispers a secret, and the stars became the witness to the birth of a newfound secret sealed by a promise.

you faux to think it over, entertaining his shenanigans when you too, whisper back, "okay, its a secret."

his eyes sparkle with your answer, for once, the ocean waves were calm. you've seen it before, but never at you - so gently smiling with warm that made you feel giddy.

you've exchanged so many laughs with one another, you could almost think you were friends..

but alas, for children your age, naivety was futile to the innocent eyes beheld the world. not enough to be understood, not enough to understand. maybe and perhaps, may the regrets lie in the future, you knew you would always turn back time to relive this moment where you both felt more alive than alive.

only if..

thump..

the tranquility of the moment was broken by the sound of shouts, hurried footsteps and faintly, you could hear the call of your name.

you stand before you realize, already starting to walk away if not for the hand grasping at your wrist - telling you not to go.

"wait," he spoke but you knew a second was a luxury, a minute longer would be when you get caught.

thump...

he feels the panic flicker through your features, making him spit out the words before his brain could comprehend, "will I see you again?" desperation clings to his tone, as if there was something more he wanted to say.

you pause to think but knew you had no such time, glancing at the light of torch fire growing closer - so were the sounds of rustling leaves and hurried footsteps.

thump...

so you gave him a promise you never knew if you could live through, "next spring," you spoke without thinking, heart beating out of your ribcage to the point that it was all you could hear through your panic state of mind.

"when?" he tightens his grip on your wrist as if afraid to let go, more than getting caught.

you glance back at the light somehow disappeared in the night, darkness once again envelopes your form where only the moonlight helped you to see; although not enough to read his expression, once again staring at nothing but those glowing blue eyes - you swear you'll dream about it.

"next month? after this winter, or next year?" this time, he was the one panicking, not noticing the way he was continuously tugging for your hand.

so you give him the bitter truth, coating with the sweetness of lies to give flavor to the indigestible truth.

"I don't know," a lie but not - you really didn't know, but you were sure your father would never let you leave again once he hears about the elder's mishaps of keeping an eye on you.

you bit the insides of your cheek, staring endlessly at his eyes to the point that you're drowning before you know it - drowning at the raging waves flickering with unbridled emotions threatening to consume.

within the depths of the sea, you are pulled out of the abyss by your reflection in his eyes - pleading.

"Keep a place for me here," you turn to look at him softly, almost enough to comfort him - but he remains stubborn, motioning to stand up but you sit him down with both hands to his shoulders.

'here' - he doesn't know if you meant a place by the way you were looking, enough to say you were looking through his soul, like you knew who he was when he never found it himself.

silently he stares back at you, knowing he never found the answer to your words either.

"when we meet again.. promise me-" he answers before you finish, "I promise," his hand finds its way back to your wrist, and when you don't recoil away, he moves to stand.

with the unsaid words remaining forever unsaid, he swears an oath - kissing the back of your hand, lashes fluttering gently with the caress of the wind - for the first time, he used proper etiquette with you.

when you try to speak again, he steals the words you wished to say and somehow — a part of you was also whisked away, and you wouldn't know what for a long time.

"ill keep a place for you when spring comes."

.. two people, two hearts and promises for the future - where only the stars would bear witness the past to be remembered.

in spite of all that, fate will always be relentless to those who never knew the unknown — where the doe-like eyes would one day remember, how cruel the world could be.

that night, you were yanked away from his hold.

watching the way you way forcefully taken from him - ripped away from his hold where he watches you smiling at him despite getting dragged away.

you were so unbearably cruel, telling him to stay. to not fight back when that was all he wanted to do at that moment; because he feels like he'll regret if he doesn't, that this will be the last he'll see of you if he doesnt.

but dear, oh dear..

your words always go before his, and he doesn't recall to when he developed such a mindset.

so he stays - still, so eerily still until his figure fades in the night, covered by the bushes and leaves as you get dragged further and further away.

the image still remains - where he was standing there ever since that day, at that garden during the same eternal night, he'll stay still - and ever waiting for the promise of the past, acting as his chain.

maybe the momentary emptiness that follows the bittersweet farewell he has to swallow will one day catch up to him in the future, forever haunting him. like the abyss reaching the depths of his soul, to one day tug him down when the burden weighs heavy on his tainted heart; now had its first scar.

gojo satoru will now carry the same weight as your promise - he, the guilt if he ever tried harder; while you, the burden of a promise you cannot keep.

that night, two hearts met, and only one left with a heavy heart carrying the weight of a future filled with endless rue.

may the world take pity.

somewhere, you could hear the first chirps of spring birds awoken from hibernation, singing for the day of a new beginning - the month of spring came. marking the start after the end, the aftermath of that night. a start of a path beckoning you to stray from the path, to the path of lies and regret — first spring after winter, a spring without the other.

.. thud.

©nhoirr 2024 — DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE NOR PLAGIARIZE MY WORKS!

#.TAGLIST - ?

want to be tagged in the next chapter ? comment or reblog, interact to tell me and ill write you a letter (tag u) when the next track comes out !

[📨] : Hey! chapter 2 will be soon, it will be longer since there are many things I have to solidify in the fic.. oh also, I tried a new writing style, any constructive criticisms? or at least a little feedback? ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎˚୨୧

[dreadfuldevotee]

very glad I follow so many loumand enthusiasts like you. there will always be idiots detracting from what they had together but louis & armand liked each other! that is a very important part of the story! they had intelligent conversations and clung together to escape loneliness the way all vampires do and tried their best to take care of each other despite being way, way too fucked up to even care for themselves.

Ha, thank you! It saddens me that I feel like im out here fighting demons over them, but not that much because I love talking about them. If Loumand has no fans, I am dead and there is no afterlife because I would be scratching my feelings out on them on all the walls in Rolin Jones's house.

And, yes! It's really easy to point out all the ways these two didn't mesh that I feel like we don't spend enough time talking about how they fall together in the first place!

Louis is trying to find what it means to be himself, now with Lestat seemingly dead and the growing distance between him and Claudia, and is attracted to Armand's allure. Their courtship is a lot more classically romantic in their long walks along the river and philosophical conversations over smokey Parisian backdrops. It's not really touched upon, but Armand is vastly educated (a grumbling acknowledgement of a rare MDR good move) and willing and capable of engaging with Louis in ways Lestat wasn't (Season 1 conflicts sprouting in no small amount out of Lestats unwillingness and inability to understand Race). Coming off that explosive dynamic of Loustat, Louis finds Armand as a more easeful experience. I think it certainly helps that even Claudia, judgemental of Louis' romanticisms, is unthreatened by Armand's advances on Louis until he quite literally puts his hands on her.

For Armand, Louis is a breath of fresh air. Once again- hating his job and the role he plays, Armand is so attracted to Louis' independence and connection to humanity. He's not only curious about Louis but also feels safe with him. Its easy to misunderstand the bench scene, but that moment is about Louis speaking to that scared child Armand revealed to him and saying "I am staying here with you, you aren't alone", and Armand's metaphorical sigh of relief that he can share this burden with anyone else. If i had to describe their relationship in one word, the answer is easily "Safety"

[maaarshieee]

⎯⎯ ୨ This Guy's In love With You Pare ୧ ⎯⎯

ੈ♡˳ Alhaitham x Male!Reader *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ 6.9k words ┊ Fluff + Crack + Hurt/comfort *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ Masterlist *ೃ༄

author's note ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

written as part of @yae-publishing-house's MODERN AU EVENT! yeah i made it into a school thing as well BUT THE SONG I BASED IT OFF WAS IN A SCHOOL SETTING... the song is the title, made by 'parokya ni edgar',,, we need more male reader content and this song came across my yt reccs once again so i HAD to write smth based off it,, have a good day/night!! ALSO THIS GOES TO MY FELLOW PINOYS,,, kausapin nyo naman ako tangina HAHAHA,, pare means bro/dude,, honestly i think this isn't good enough but huddsa,, long fic hehe (more in tags 💕)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cw: gay struggles, in denial of gay feelings AHAH, teens but same personalities, oblivious!reader, brief misunderstanding (reader is thought to be against gays), slight angst if you squint near the end, finding out your sexuality in the worst way possible /j, ooc alhaitham?, a whiplash of events and memories??? HAHAHAHA

"I'm telling you, that guy likes— loves you, dude."

Those words seemed to slow down time for you, the book in your hand long forgotten as your heart leaped up your throat. Heat spreads throughout your chest, creeping up your neck and to your cheek, and you aren't sure if it's from embarrassment from your friend's, Kaveh, assumption, or rage for such bullshit ideas he had started sprouting out of his good-for-nothing mouth. Blinking incredulously at Kaveh, who was, surprisingly, staring back at you with a rather serious expression, you shook your head in disagreement, glaring at the blonde beside you. When Kaveh said that you two needed to talk about something urgent, you should've known it was just one of his annoying antics, dragging you hurriedly all the way to the rooftop of your school for a silly joke.

With a soft sigh escaping your lips as your mind finally processed his nonsense, you threw a punch at Kaveh's unsuspecting arm, making him yelp in pain and glare back at you. "Hey! What the hell is that for!? I'm serious, you know!?" He hissed in pain, rubbing his aching shoulder as you proceeded to read once again, rolling your eyes. You couldn't believe you skipped lunch just for this, now you're hungry and distracted. Closing your book with a slam, you hit the hard cover against your forehead.

The burn on your cheeks hasn't left as your thoughts lingered on Kaveh's words. Alhaitham? Your long-time best friend? Love you? The thought seemed so absurd when Alhaitham acts like he could barely tolerate you. He was a student of high honors, always on top and taking the rightful title of Valedictorian. Alhaitham, without much effort, was impeccably famous all over school, both for his flawless marks and impressive looks, and his rather arrogant personality, mixed in with his logic-based mentality. Even if he wasn't well-liked across the school for his harsh comments and condescending impression of everyone, girls and boys alike couldn't help but swoon at his handsome but cold charms. And you? Well, you're just a normal student in the same school, with somewhat decent grades. One of the only reasons you haven't failed as much as you would've thought was because of Alhaitham. He told you one day that since he's your 'friend', he's obligated to at least ensure you won't drop out of school and have presentable grades for when you're bound to go to college. You weren't famous either, and there wasn't really anything about you that stands out, other than being Alhaitham's only friend, inside and outside of your school.

Plus, the only reason you and Alhaitham have stuck together for this long is that you've been friends since childhood, your parents being very close with one another and so the connection you've created ever since was difficult to sever now. Not like neither of you wants to part anyways, so you've grown fond of each other over the years, even if Alhaitham wasn't very expressive of it, so it would leave others to wonder if the two of you are truly friends or not. Both of you would always bicker, with Alhaitham scolding you for not taking your studies seriously and you remarking about him studying too much. Being with him only felt natural, being by his side a majority of the time you spent at school and home, letting him study at the seat next to you while you did anything you wanted to. Study sessions always included him, as well as lunch breaks, the end of school, holidays, and summer.

"You're thinking about him right now, are you?" Kaveh's voice snapped you back to reality, jerking your head away from the cover of your book as your eyes narrowed at the smug expression he wore on his face, arms crossed. "Don't tell me you love him too?"

Like a ticking time bomb, you could hear your heart pound against your ribcage in your ears, faint ringing in the distance, before your brain suddenly exploded at his accusation, your mouth forming into a snarl. "What!? Are you crazy!? We're both guys, Kaveh!" Although you were scowling at your friend that sat beside you, fuming at his nonsense blabbering, the heat on your face only intensified, and Kaveh was quick to take notice, teasing you even more. There was no way you'd like Alhaitham! Sure, he's been part of your life for so long that being without him feels utterly wrong, that you'd seek his company and would choose him over everyone else, doesn't mean you have romantic affections towards your best friend! That was just it, best friends, completely platonic and only favoring him more due to the time you've spent together, and knowing each other better than anyone else. And you're (somewhat) certain Alhaitham shares the same sentiment.

Kaveh was just being ridiculous, and you've had enough of it. You're going to prove to him that your best friend doesn't harbor feelings for you in that way, only seeing you as a trustworthy companion worthy of his time and friendship. With a scoff, you stood up from where sat, leaving Kaveh sputtering curses under his breath from your punches.

Sunlight peeked through the curtains of your room, dust and particles dancing from the light it brought as the cool wind made the plants sitting on your window sill bob and flutter. Right outside your door, you could hear the faint chattering of your family all across the living room, watching a comedy movie together, without you. Usually, you'd never miss out on the chance to be with your family to bond with them... But the past few days have left you in a daze and chaotic realization. You couldn't believe that you were saying this but... Kaveh may be actually right. Standing motionlessly in your bathroom, facing the mirror inches away from your face whilst your hands gripped the edges of the marble sink, your brows furrowed and eyes unfocused as you thought about your observations on Alhaitham, cold water dripping down your face.

At school, you've begun paying much more on everything Alhaitham does. From the way he talks, looks at people, reactions when others try talking to him, and certain things you do to get a rise from him. And to your horror, you've found out that Alhaitham does favor you over others, just not in the way you originally thought of.

Alhaitham has always looked at other people with this layer of frostiness no matter who they are, though he still does regard teachers and elders with a minute sense of respect, his eyes were still sharp as ever, calculating and impassive. But when he turns to look at you, you've taken note of how his eyes ever-so-slightly softened at the sight of you, the ice that would freeze strangers with a mere glance would melt, and instead of gazing at you with simple familiarity, you could sense a sort of fondness in his eyes as a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. What surprised you the most was when you often caught him staring at you— more specifically; your lips, when he had thought your attention was somewhere else, and not on him. Sometimes, he'd even subtly glance at your lips whilst you spoke to him, then return, maintaining eye contact with you, as if he was hinting at something he desired to do with them...

Alhaitham would typically avoid any sort of physical touch from others, and neither does engage in it. Why should he when he barely knew them, nor the fact that it was completely unnecessary? But when you wrap your arms around his shoulders as you walk down the halls together, nudge him with your elbow or lean against his body, he never spares you a glance, nor pushes you away. He never does, in fact, he seemed to rather indulge himself with your touch, relishing the warmth your hands bring and sometimes even initiating these touches himself. From wiping away messy crumbs from your lips, gently but firmly grabbing your wrist to lead you to the library where he always is, and pinching your cheek to wake you from your slumber to prevent you from getting caught by the teacher. You also noticed that he'd grow a tad bolder on some days, his touches lingering on your body, but would quickly return his hand to himself, flipping a page of the book he was reading. But you could tell, it was written all over his face, that he longed to touch you for longer periods, perhaps even hold you in his arms... Though, he didn't, not wanting to risk being the cause of making you uncomfortable.

You knew Alhaitham was very aware of how others would only come toward him to attain knowledge and assistance from one of the most brilliant students of the academy, hoping that if they managed to befriend him, their grades would exponentially increase! One thing they never took into consideration, though, is if they were up to Alhaitham's standards. But what are Alhaitham's standards? Does a person have to be sophisticated and at his level of smartness to befriend him? No, of course not, he could care less about who's smart or not, but no one will ever reach up to his very specific standards because, simply put, his standard is you. If Kaveh hadn't opened your eyes to this perspective of your dear best friend, you would've mistaken everything he has done for you as simple things friends do for each other. How come you haven't noticed it before? Were you so oblivious to this fact that you never caught wind of the double meaning of his actions that he only seemed to do for you? Using the excuse that you've never dated anyone yet was even too foolish! You hadn't realized that to everyone, it was fairly obvious and that it was only you who hadn't recognized that his feelings were more than platonic.

Hell, even your parents knew and they didn't even tell you! Cruel, you felt utterly betrayed by everyone you knew. But you were ultimately more upset at yourself. Seriously, who would buy you something that you had offhandedly mentioned a few years back, something that even you had forgotten, and give it to you on your recent birthday? Who else would buy you your favorite treats and snacks whenever he passes by a convenience store on the way to your house? Alhaitham would only ever agree if you were the one to ask him to help you with your studies— everyone else will be ignored and rejected. Alhaitham would only ever hear out criticism if it's from you. Alhaitham would always let things you did that didn't bide with the rules of the academy slide, pretending that you totally didn't accidentally break one of the bathroom doors with a click of his tongue and a brief scolding to be more careful, before pacing away from the crime scene.

You, you, you— it's always been you. Your belief that Alhaitham would never fancy a girl because his taste was too refined was a swing and a whole fucking miss from the actual truth, hitting you with the force of an oncoming truck. He wasn't interested in girls, not because the girls in the academy never aligned with his type, no, it was because he was fucking gay!

And you should've known better than to convey to Kaveh every single realization you've gathered throughout the span of a whole week, taking pleasure in watching you have an internal crisis at your conundrum. "I told you, and you didn't believe me!" Kaveh had a smug smirk on his lips that you longed to smack off his face. "Alhaitham is really fucking gay for you, bro." He relished your exasperated reactions, both hands on your face as he laughs out loud, slapping his knee. You buried your face further into your hands the more Kaveh teased you, face practically on flames on how hot it burned. A thought struck you, and you pulled your hands away from your face, eyes meeting the swaying leaves of potted plants that were littered across the rooftop of the academy (courtesy to Tighnari), the impending summer heat prickling the skin of your face, blinking away the brightness of your surroundings.

"Why hasn't he confessed to me then?" You asked no one in particular, eyes trailing back to your hands. Kaveh, who was stuffing his face with his lunch that he had brought up to the rooftop, without missing a beat, replied; "Because you're stupid enough to not see he's head over heels on you so he thinks you're straight." Frowning, you turned your head toward him with a raised brow, confused. "Think? But I am straight." Kaveh paused for a brief moment, before letting out a humored snort and shaking his head in disbelief. "Yeah right." That was his only comment and this earned another angered punch on his arm.

"Agh! Stop punching me when I'm only stating facts!" Kaveh huffed, rubbing his bruising arm once more, before smirking at you again, pointing a finger at you. "But with how much you're paying attention to him and acting weirdly, he'd confess to you sooner or later."

What he said made your heart race, because you had your own growing suspicions, as much as you'd hate to admit it. The moment Alhaitham detected your growing awareness of his affections toward you and hadn't distanced yourself from him upon revelation, he was becoming more audacious. Just a few minutes ago, before you ran off with Kaveh up the stairs, Alhaitham's managed to caress your cheek with the bullshit excuse that there was something on your face, and you knew that he wasn't hiding his true intentions either anymore, enjoying seeing you at a loss of words when his hand rested on the small of your back to lead you somewhere instead of typically grabbing your wrist, or compliment you out of the blue, even if you didn't do anything particularly outstanding.

It was so natural for Alhaitham, to let his actions speak so loudly what he truly felt without a trace of shame in his handsome features (wait, since when did you start thinking he's handsome?), with a confident poise, honeyed words that were a huge contrast to his stone cold character would roll off his tongue so smoothly that you'd find yourself drowning in his intense emotions. It throws you off, catches you off guard, makes your head all fuzzy, and then suddenly, you're hyper-aware of everything he does. Just for how long was he waiting for you to notice, so he could proceed without such excessive caution? He's been hanging out in your house every day, after every school, doing nothing in particular together. Since when has Alhaitham undoubtedly fallen for you? Understanding the only possible truth that Alhaitham had never spoken to you of his true feelings was because he was, what, afraid to risk a friendship that has lasted since you were children? It still baffles you to this day.

Despite Alhaitham's actions, you find yourself... yearning for more. How come? Well, you're certainly not gay. Perhaps you just enjoyed the attention he gave you? (He's with you every day, and doesn't pay mind to others. All of his attention has always been on you.) Perhaps you were just reassured that Alhaitham truly did like you and didn't think of you as a horrible person that he's stuck with? (Wait, since when, were you insecure—?) Whatever, it was, it isn't because you're gay! You don't reciprocate those romantic feelings on your best friend (how can you be so sure?)!

After a long, unbearable silence, you leaned back against the wall and ran your hand through your hair, heaving a deep sigh. This was all Kaveh's fault. Ever since he said those not-so-bullshit words to you, you've never been so conflicted about what you think of Alhaitham, and, unfortunately, of yourself. You weren't even sure if you were straight or not because you'd never had a crush on a girl because Alhaitham was the one hogging most of your attention.

"Yeah, I know."

Tonight is the night you will die.

And it is all your parents' fault.

They just had to ask Alhaitham over for dinner, and your mother had to suggest that he should sleep over for the night. Right after you told them that you had finally realized his feelings for you too! They mean well, that's for sure, but holy hell, you're about to lose your mind with how nervous you are. It wasn't the first time Alhaitham would be sleeping over at your house, but it was his first time sleeping over with both of you aware of one's feelings for the other. The urge to scream and run off by jumping out of your window has never been stronger. But you stayed, already taking out the extra mattress your family bought for Alhaitham's use whenever he stayed over, his pillows and blankets, placing them right on the floor, next to your bed. Tidying up your bedroom distracts you, straightening your sheets and comforter, and watering your plants. By the time you finished, your mother called you down for dinner and to open the door for your best friend.

Though you were originally anxious about Alhaitham's sleepover, you knew you could trust Alhaitham not to step over the line and make you feel uncomfortable. You were certain that it was the opposite of what Alhaitham would want, and that even if he does harbor romantic feelings for you, he would never force it upon you in a way that would leave you to tears. So you pretended it was as if you were unaware once again, acting how you'd normally do when Alhaitham would come over; excited and already dragging him inside your home to greet your parents (he calls your parents 'auntie' and uncle' and it was the last nail of your coffin filled with ever-so-late awareness).

And dinner was the same as always, filled with happy chattering and laughter, all of you not minding Alhaitham's bluntness nor his ramblings once one of your parents brought up a topic that piques his interest. They've known Alhaitham for as long as you have, growing fond of the boy as if he was their own. And you can tell that he shares the view, given how he was softly smiling the whole time you had dinner. After that, the two of you went straight to your bedroom when your mother rejected both of your offers to help in the kitchen and began talking about anything that comes to mind; be it school, plans for the next few days, a hobby, interesting facts or your annoying friend, Kaveh. At this point and time, the unspoken feelings he has for you completely slipped from your mind as the comfortable presence of your best friend settles beside you, listening to you rant about a new video game that was going to be released in summer, beaming in excitement, soliciting a quiet chuckle from Alhaitham.

But Alhaitham had to bring you back to reality once the both of you were tucked in comfortably in your own beds, ready to finally call it a day and just fall asleep. His words, though soft and low, his soothing voice turned into unpleasant ringing in your ears with the words he spoke. "Hey, are you still awake?" It was a simple question, but it made you stiff on your bed, squeezing your eyes shut to hide the fact that you were still awake, biting on your bottom lip. "I have something to confess to you." The pits of your stomach twisted as your heartbeat quickened as you had a sliver of hunch about what was about to transpire. Then, like a bucket of cold water was thrown all over your body, the grip you had on your sheets tightened when you heard the hushed shifting of his clothes, his presence nearing your form, your back facing him. "I like you more than you could ever imagine." He whispered against your ear, his hot breath hitting your skin, shivering upon the contact. Your breath hitched at his confession, your head spinning at how hot your cheeks burned, but you kept your eyes closed, not giving a single care anymore even if he knew that you were still awake. For a while, the both of you stayed like that, waiting for something to happen, for one of you to make a move with bated breaths... Before Alhaitham eventually pulled away from your 'sleeping' form, a small sigh left his lips. "C'mon, wake up." Alhaitham persisted, "Stop pretending to be asleep." He poked your side, and your body twitched, now scowling in annoyance and further embarrassment at your ticklishness. He tried a few more times, but you continued to ignore him, trying your best to fall asleep.

Fine then, Alhaitham huffed through his nose. He could deal with you tomorrow morning, after all. So he went back to his bed, lay down, and fell asleep with a smile on his lips. What Alhaitham didn't expect was for you to fully ignore him for the next few days. Upon waking up, he was surprised to hear from your father that you had woken up quite early before he could and managed to silently prepare yourself for school without waking him up. When Alhaitham got to school, he spent his classes all alone in his seat, your assigned chair that was always beside him always empty in every class the two of you shared. You've skipped classes beforehand, but he never thought you'd skip classes you had together. And while you'd often hang out with Kaveh on the rooftop to eat lunch, he was surprised to see Kaveh at their usual table without you, with Kaveh not knowing where you were because he had not seen you for the whole day. It's been like that ever since his verbal confession, with you skipping classes, exchanging seats with other students just to be far away from Alhaitham, and even not going to school at all. It may not show, but he was extremely worried.

It really wasn't your intention to avoid Alhaitham. You genuinely wanted to talk to him after what happened in your little sleepover, but being near Alhaitham would send your heart into a fucking frenzy and you'd be too lightheaded to properly speak to him. For the sake of your own survival, you had to avoid him until you've maintained a clear head around him. You didn't mean to worry him, and you definitely didn't mean to give him the wrong signals. After every school, he'd stop by your house, asking if you were home or if you were okay, and your parents would continuously deny him from entering your home as per your wishes. You kept leaving his messages on read too, the guilt slowly accumulating in your heart until it was about to burst. Messages from Kaveh told you that Alhaitham hasn't notably been doing well, lunches spent worrying about you or studying even more, and bags forming under his eyes as he thought of the possibilities as to why you were avoiding him.

Honestly? It sucked. You don't even remember the reason why you're avoiding him anymore in the first place, but the butterflies that filled up your stomach keep fluttering at the mere thought of Alhaitham, your heart beating so fast you believe you were about to die from a heart attack. Just why were you feeling like this? It was as if you were some lovesick girl that couldn't approach her crush— you dropped the glass of water you were holding in your hand, and the sound of shattering glass was akin to how your view of your entire life has shattered right before your eyes.

Was that it? The reason why your thoughts would race when you see him? The reason why your heart pounds so hard when he sends a smile your way, only for your eyes to see? Why you intrinsically stick by his side when you find him in the midst of a crowd? Why you feel much more relaxed with him than being in a room with a girl who was hinting that she liked you? Is that the reason why your mind has always been infested with the thought of your best friend? That when you go out with others, you'd be thinking wistfully of Alhaitham because he wasn't there with you? The constant longing, the envy you feel when girls stare for far too long, the absolute pride you feel when he wins at international academic contests. You felt goosebumps form on your forearms as you gripped the edge of the kitchen counter. Holy fuck... You were...

"Sweetie?" The sweet, gentle voice of your mother entered the premises of the kitchen with a small gasp escaping her lips when she caught sight of the shattered glass littered across the floor, rushing towards your paling form. "Are you okay? What happened? You look like you've seen a ghost!" She queried worriedly, wiping away the cold sweat that formed on your forehead as you wrapped your arms around your mother, bathing in her loving presence and burying your face onto your shoulder. "Dear me, you're shaking! Just what happened?" Taking in a deep, shuddering breath, you finally found your voice to speak.

"I think... I'm gay..."

Silence...

Then you heard your mother hold back a snort, and your heart broke to a million pieces at this utter betrayal. But she wasn't making fun of you, the hug she was giving you says that much, but she was quite amused that it took you this long to figure it out. Caressing the back of your head with her hand and a tender kiss on your temple, she cooed lovingly as she felt your tears wet her shoulders, reassuring as much as she can that she accepts you wholeheartedly, you were her son after all, nothing could ever change that fact. Just as your breathing was beginning to sync with hers, gradually calming down on your own terms in your mother's arms, she suddenly whispered; "We've known since you were little."

You choked on your spit, startled at her as-a-matter-of-fact tone of voice, pulling away from the hug as you stared at her with wide, unbelieving eyes.

"What do you mean by that!?"

For the first time that week, you finally met Alhaitham outside of school.

You were on your way to the grocery store to buy some ingredients before tonight's dinner, not paying much attention to your surroundings as your head was lost in the clouds. The skies were painted with warm orange, red and yellow hues as the sun began its descent, the moon peeking around the corner for its rise. Kids across the street were beginning to retreat back into their homes, waving their goodbyes and promising to play with each other once again the next day. It made you feel nostalgic, it felt like it was just yesterday when you were as carefree as the children in your neighborhood, playing with friends. Well, if you count running across the grass fields while Alhaitham read a book from afar as 'playing with friends'. A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips, though it was quickly wiped off when a hand suddenly gripped your wrist with such force you thought that they were going to break it. A sense of urgency washed through your body as the peace and tranquility of your walk were ruined by the unexpected perpetrator who grabbed you, but before you could land a punch on their face, you were swift to stop yourself from doing so upon recognizing who it was.

"Alhaitham, what the hell— hey! Let go, man!"

You wriggled in his grasp when he started dragging you away from the direction of the grocery store, lightly hitting his back when his grip only tightened on your wrist, panic rising in your mind. You had no intention of dragging your avoidance on Alhaitham any longer, deciding that you'd come face to face with him once you start attending classes completely to make up for your absences and skipping, but you hadn't anticipated that you'd meet him on your way to buy some ingredients, much less drag you to the park. Eventually, you gave up on trying to escape confrontation with Alhaitham, the guilt that you'd been ignoring for the past week gnawed on your insides as you followed him on the familiar path. You recognized this part of the park, at the edge of the forest where your parents would chastise you for always trying to cross the rickety fence that separates the park and the forest. Being the rowdier child, you'd always try to climb the fence only to be slapped in the face by Alhaitham's small hand. His steps finally came to an end in front of the lone tree that the fence had to swerve around to not chop it down. It was a tree you were fond of, climbing up its branches just to shake off leaves onto Alhaitham since he liked to read under its shade, giggling at his angered yells.

Letting go of your wrist, Alhaitham crossed his arms and turned to face you with a very cold look on his face, a type of expression he has never directed at you before, sending shivers up your spine. You couldn't help but give him a sheepish smile that wavered under his suffocating gaze, rubbing the back of your neck. "Haha... Hey..."

"You have a minute to give sufficient reasons, not excuses, as to why you've been avoiding me for the whole week; so much so that you're willing to risk your academic records for the sake of not coming eye to eye with me," Alhaitham demanded, not asked, of you, his eyes narrowing at your anxious fidgeting. Swallowing the shame that rose up to your throat, you opened your mouth to try and explain yourself, but the only thing you could make out was a small meek noise, before shutting your mouth once more, eyes boring onto the grass that flowed with the wind. A minute has passed and neither of you has said a single word, Alhaitham's stare slowly intensifies with every passing second, and you shrink down on yourself as the impulse to run away, to avoid him again grows more and more tempting. Just as you were about to open your mouth to attempt to speak, Alhaitham let out a long, drawn-out sigh, his expression once filled with seriousness morphing into a much somber one, averting his gaze from you. Caught off guard by the sudden change of mood, the words on the tip of your tongue were blown off by the wind at what he said in a low, gentle tone as he took a step toward you. "I... Apologize if I made you extremely uncomfortable with my confession..."

Darkness was slowly engulfing the skies as the stars began to twinkle down on you, faint chirping of crickets can be heard all around you as fireflies, one by one began lighting up on the spot where you stood. Ah, you remember now. During your childhood, you'd throw rocks at Alhaitham's window, in the dead of night, to sneak him out to the park, to the spot you'd always hang out at the edge of the forest to watch the fireflies light up the night sky, dancing and fluttering around the tree where you shared a lot of memories together. You'd force Alhaitham to catch fireflies with you, and every time he'd begrudgingly agree, you'd be graced with the image of a usual stoic boy turn into a carefree, fun-loving boy that laughed as much as you did, running around to catch more fireflies that you then roll onto the grass as he trips. Your heart clenched at those memories, your eyes now staring deeply into his teal eyes that glinted with indefinite shades of maroon, the sincerity sinking deep into your skin as he continued to speak, the yellow lighting highlighting his pretty face, filled with regret and a forlorn frown etched on his lips. "I just want you to know that you needn't return my affections for you and that I would never force them onto you. After all, I've known you forever and... I would love to keep the friendship we've made..." If it wasn't for fireflies lighting up your darkening surroundings, you wouldn't have seen how his eyes began to glisten, the way his hands lightly trembled as he forced himself to stop it.

"You still have a friend in me that you can depend on." Bowing down his head, his bangs completely covering his eyes, hands both clenched into fists at his sides. "So, please, if you could just forget everything I said and..." Everything after that part became muffled in your eyes, your emotions fluctuating inside your mind. But you know for certain that you weren't about to reject Alhaitham, no, not when your heart thrummed at the thought of his touch, not when the tips of your ears burned at the sight of him after so long. The years you've spent with Alhaitham were only filled with meaningful experiences with one another, and not short of joy. There were times of disagreements, of days where the days were filled with rain as the two of you loathed one another with such intensity, in the end, you would make up and fix what needed to be fixed, learning from past mistakes and understanding each other on a whole different level. You don't spend much time apart, and when you do, both of you long for each other, as if a piece from a puzzle has been torn off, and once that piece was put back to its rightful place, it will cling onto each other for as long as they could, basking with the other's presence and filling the void of loneliness that drilled into your hearts.

Without a doubt, you love Alhaitham, you've always had, and you regrettably only learned only now, letting him go through years of yearning and then heartbreak for your cowardice. So, in the heat of the moment, with the light that's faintly emitting from each firefly that danced around like stars in the night blurring into the background as you took a step forward, inching your faces close to each other until you could feel his breath against your lips. Alhaitham's breath caught in his throat, about to recoil from your proximity, only to be stopped by your hands holding onto his broad shoulders. After a brief moment of hesitance, you closed your eyes and closed the gap between you, your arms slowly wrapped around his neck as you pressed your body against his. He went frigid under your touch, eyes blown wide at the sensation of your lips pressed against his, clearly inexperienced, but eager to express that you had struggled to show him in simple actions and through words. When you were about to retract from the kiss, suddenly becoming insecure at his lack of reciprocation, Alhaitham's hands firmly gripped your hips, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss that you had initiated, by your own free will, and guided your lips to properly kiss until the fuzziness on your lips traveled all the way up to your head, growing weak on your knees.

Once you've finally parted to breathe some air, you buried your face onto his neck, your lips trembling at how good he was at kissing. Geez, what the hell? You could barely think straight after that. Maybe it was the sudden spike in adrenaline flowing through your veins when Alhaitham had dragged you back into this old spot of your childhood, now came crashing down after the kiss full of bliss as you lean your weight against Alhaitham's body for support, his arms wrapping around your torso. Letting out a shaky breath, you murmured against his skin, "'M sorry for avoiding you... I hadn't meant it— I just grew afraid for no reason when you suddenly confessed, even if I knew you had romantic feelings for me for quite some time..." The grip you had on his clothes tightened as your voice grew more and more silent, barely above a whisper at this point, and yet Alhaitham heard you loud and clear, amidst the loud chirping of crickets and the sounds of leaves swaying along the wind,

"I drowned in so many emotions, I was so overwhelmed just at catching a glimpse of you... Then I realized that, yeah, I'm fucking gay too." He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in, his embrace tightening around you reassuringly, encouraging you to go on. Choking back a sob, you shamefully tried to stop your tears from falling, heart painfully pounding against your chest, "And it fucking upsets me for not realizing that I've loved you from the start, that in my whole life, I thought I was straight when in actuality, I was just oblivious with how I felt towards you... I'm so sorry, Alhaitham..."

Ah, so that's how it is. It wasn't sheer disgust of his feelings for you, nor he had made you extremely uncomfortable. It pains him that he had thought of the worst, jumping to conclusions without further proof to solidify his assumptions on how you felt. He had boasted that he thinks based on rationality and logic only, but when it comes to you? His mind becomes a jumbled mess of emotions, it was as if his heart took full reign of his mind and body. "Please don't apologize, I understand." He whispered softly, his hand caressing the back of your head and playing with the hem of your shirt. He could feel your heart beating against his, body shaking as you held on desperately to his clothes. "I apologize for confessing at such an unpleasant time, for making you go through such a rough actualization of your sexuality..." The rumble of his chest at each word he spoke was enough to reduce your cries into nothingness, sniffling and wiping your tears with your hands.

With a soft grunt, you laid your cheek against his shoulder, completely melting in his arms the both of you got down on the ground, Alhaitham leaning against the tree and you on his lap. "Okay, let's stop apologizing to one another... I think we're even now..." Alhaitham agreed with a nod, keeping you close to him as he watched the fireflies finally disappear into the night, the moon now high above the skies. Pulling your head away from his shoulder, you peered into Alhaitham's eyes, a curious glint in your eyes. "Where did you learn how to kiss like that?" You questioned him, knowing full well that he's never been in a relationship, both due to his personality and adoration towards you. "I read books." His response left you speechless, staring at him with pure disbelief. Alhaitham only raised a brow at you, the corners of his lips curling up into an amused smile. "What? It proved to be effective, right? You were shaking against me after we parted."

Heat blossomed all throughout your face and onto the tips of your ears as you glared daggers at Alhaitham, strongly flustered upon recalling your kiss. True, it did leave you quivering, but he didn't have to rub it in your face! "You fucking nerd..." You grumbled under your breath, slapping a hand on his arm. Stupidly enough, you felt butterflies annoyingly flutter inside your stomach when Alhaitham let out a wholehearted laugh at your reaction, something you haven't heard in ages suddenly emerging out of nowhere. Perhaps it was the influence of the nostalgia of his memorable spot you've revisited after all those years, it was a place where you remember most of his laughs, giggles, and bright smiles.

God, you hated love. It was so sappy and cliche and it makes you impeccably dumb. Ugh. You could feel yourself cringing at the words you were about to say. "Ah but... that was my first kiss, and you can really tell I'm not really good at it..." Alhaitham hummed in acknowledgment, signaling for you to go on. "Could you... teach me how to kiss? Perhaps give me a live demonstration too?" You suggest, your hand cupping his cheek as you adoringly caressed it. A smug smirk stretched his lips as he leaned his face close to yours once more, only inches apart. "Of course, I'll gladly lend my knowledge to such an eager learner."

And with that, Alhaitham pulled you into a slow, passionate, and loving kiss. Two missing pieces finally put together, languidly moving against each other, taking the other deeper to devour more. The faint vibrations of your phone in your pocket were ignored as the minutes went by. You'll apologize to your parents later on, knowing full well that they'd forgive you without a second thought if they knew you were making out with your childhood best friend in your secret spot in the park.

Well, they don't need to know about that part, but you honestly couldn't care less at the moment, too lost in the bliss of finally, through years of obliviousness, being together, as the world intended you to be.

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[acupofqueercoffee]

“Caught in a web, drunk on love”

Shutara Senjumaru x Reader

wc : 3100

cw : not really unrequited love // jealousy // misunderstandings // a sprinkle of drama // fluffy floofs

well what can i say. she’s so mommy and i’m a hoe for mommies so i couldn’t help it. always wanted to write something for her but i was just needing that little push which obviously her bankai gave me 😩

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Spider. A creature you have never been too big of a fan of. Those creepy crawlers with their beady eyes and fuzzy limbs are, and will always be the genesis of your nightmares. Simply the idea of the word will forever have dread burgeoning within you and ice cascading down your spine, or so you have believed. Why, then, are flowers blooming inside your chest as you watch the bane of your existence weaving a web? In other words, you are atrociously, irreversibly, positively, and utterly fucked.  

In the Soul King Palace, you are one of the less important guards under the direct command of one Shutara Senjumaru. Less important of course than the esteemed Royal Guards, but certainly on par with the strongest of shinigamis. Although there is no official title to it, your position beside your lady is an equivalent of a Lieutenant down in Seireitei.

Ever since the beginning, the divine general of the north, with her onyx hair and golden halo, eyes oozing with mesmerism, and lips a delightful red, but the most arresting of all, her spindly automatonic limbs sprouting from her back like six unworldly wings, has reminded you of a spider: one that is elegant and teeming with splendour. The lady’s introduction into your life has seeded in you a habit of conjuring up her face whenever you see or even think of your once-dreaded friends. In fact, when you think of an eight-legged crawler, you are rarely thinking of one and very much thinking of the six artificially limbed stunner. Hence, you are decisively fucked.

In pursuit of comfort, your hand, as if having a mind of its own, glide towards your waist where a knitted red charm dwells, the tassel of which dangles from the white sash of your uniform. Running delicate fingers along the intricate patterns of fine silk, your lips flourish into a smile.

From socks to scarfs and whatnots, your lady, the great weaver as her name suggests, has tailored many a thing for you. Not only has she remedied a great many holes in your battle worn uniforms, she has also graciously showered you with a miscellany of pristine garments. After all, artisanship is your lady’s forte, occurring as naturally as breathing to her, and her six hands are either sewing, knitting, embroidering or doing all three of it at the same time. She does it with such great finesse and dexterity that she may as well be carving a statue of herself out of your heart, for it worships the very ground she walks on. 

When you notice her presence, you smell it before you hear it. Delightfully floral with a touch of dark undertones, heavenly, mysterious and so undoubtedly her. 

“It was my understanding that you have a strong dislike for them, no?”

Comes the mesmerising lilt of her voice, glazed with a trickle of tease, and you smile a little, knowing smile, bringing your gaze from the spider to its human counterpart.

“I’ve steadily started finding them charming I’m afraid.” The little blossom of a smile on your lips once you search her eyes is that of softness. Your lady regards you coolly with a barely noticeable smile, drenched in enigma by her siren-eyed gaze, the caress of which is well-nigh tangible on your face. It does a quick travel to your waist, and upon finding the gift that you carry on your body since acquiring it, a hum spills forth a pair of bewitching, blood-red lips. 

“Walk with me.”

You take the hand that she offers, smooth, spindly and rather ample in size that you are only truly able to grasp two of her lithe digits. 

“With pleasure, my lady.”

“Am I allowed to wonder what exactly is the architect of your change in impression of arachnid? You of yore would flee the site if she so much as catches a glimpse of an itsy-bitsy one, I’m sure.”

You love that she remembers things about you the way you do things about her. She fancies her tea with a drizzle of honey. Not unlike a spider, she does have eight arms, the two of which are of her own flesh and blood, and because she keeps them hidden under her cloak at all times, only a handful of people have witnessed them. You have, during a visit to the hot spring in Kirinden. Nobody has given her a gift personally hand crafted by them, so when you have made for her a braided charm, a very clumsy attempt at that, she has told you that she would cherish it, and cherish it, she does. Despite it being faulty, it has found its forever home tucked safely in the red sash of her outfit, the tassel of it peeking out from under her haori with every elegant step she takes. Playful banter is her favourite pastime and it amuses her greatly that you indulge her. So once again, you do.

“You have every liberty to wonder, my lady. The decision to answer lies in my hand after all. I will say this though, it’s who rather than what.”

“My,” So she drawls in a tone that deliciously tickles your spine, and when she stops, you do too, watching as lips reveal teeth in a kittenish smile. “is that so?”

You have an inkling that to an extent, she knows of your fondness for her, evident in the way she humors you. Judging from her behaviors, she does not appear entirely opposed to it, and you might even go as far as saying that there is a good chance of her considering you should you confess.

Suddenly, a droplet touches your cheek. In the small interval of time that it takes for you to look up, your lady has expertly woven an umbrella out of thin air, all the while her one hand holds onto yours. By the time a drizzle escalates to a downpour, you are well under the protection of your lady’s masterful craft. However, your heart is going haywire, for the space between the two of you has considerably narrowed when your eyes meet. Leaning forward, a cool pad of a thumb presses a delicate kiss onto your cheek, caressing the wetness away from your face which inadvertently leaves a pink tinge in its wake. 

“Let’s call it a day, shall we?”

At your nod of approval, she adjusts her hold on you, slipping her fingers just so that your hands are intertwined together. The tips of her robotic digits easily reach your wrist, and when the cool pad of her thumb gingerly traces the hummingbird flutter of your pulse, the little creature coos inside your ribcage.

Roses are red.

The sky is blue.

And oh how you love Senjumaru. 

─────────────────  · · · · ✿

“Yoohoo Shutara, look who I found dilly-dallying around!” 

The guffaw of Hikifune jolts Senjumaru out of her bath induced reverie. Her head tilts, propped up by her fist, the dark waterfall of her hair swaying slightly as her eyes lazily search her friend.  

Think of the devil and the devil is here. 

A ghost of a smile graces her lips, for she finds you tucked under the arm of the ruler of grain. It has been a while after all since the two of you have spent time together. 

“Can you please unhand me?” More laughter ensues, louder this time, and your request is effectively nipped in the bud. Ruffling your hair, she tugs you closer to the point that you are smothered by her generous bosoms. 

“Lady Hikifune, you- you’re-”

Killing me with your breasts! You wanted to say, but instead, you are left a sputtering mess.

“My my, haven’t you bagged yourself a cutie, Shutara!”

Granted, Senjumaru would find the sweet strawberry shade on your cheeks ridiculously charming, that is, if it had been a product of her doing. Certainly not after you have just been called a cutie by a woman who has her breasts shoved into your face. 

And so, she rises with all the grace of a nymph, droplets on her body twinkling like little diamonds in the soft light. 

“Why Kirio, I thank you on behalf of my girl for escorting her to me,” Meanwhile, she has effortlessly drawn you into her arms, one of which is slithering across your waist. Alas, the little wasp has been caught in a spider’s web. “but if I do recall, you have matters to attend to, have you not? By all means, do not let us hinder you.” 

“Ugh now my mood is spoiled, thank you very much Shutara.” The divine general of the south’s voice drips with sarcasm, and that of the north replies just as sarcastically. “Of course.” 

“On another note, I smell ya later cutie!”

With a wink thrown towards your way, the cheery general is gone. 

“Wild woman.” Murmurs Senjumaru as two fingers pinch the bridge of her nose. 

You on the other hand, through the flimsy fabric of your robe, can feel her body pressing into your back; all the ridges and the valleys, every dip and dent, and lord is she so wonderfully soft. 

Suddenly, along with a ghost of a breath on the shell of your ear, her voice greets you. “Hello there, my girl.” Like a dollop of butter on a pile of warm, fluffy pancakes, you melt, all giddy and toasty inside. “Now that you’re here, could I trouble you to give my hair a wash?” 

“It’s no trouble at all. I’d be delighted to.” You do not dare turn lest your legs fail you, and in a desperate need of a moment of reprieve for your sorry little heart, you chance a glance at her. “Why don’t you go relax in the water, my lady. I’ll be right with you.”

There is a beat of silence before you feel hands on your hips and a delicate touch of lips on your nape.

“Do not keep me waiting for too long.”

The milkiness of her skin practically glows in the warm water while her luscious mane, like the finest of silks, effortlessly slips through your fingers. The urge to bury your nose in her silky smooth strands is strong, but not as strong as the urge to nuzzle your face in the exquisite beauty of a neck that is captivating you from beneath those onyx mane. Lost in a daydream, you do not realise that you have paused amidst your task until your lady turns towards you. Without so much as a warning, she pulls you into the pool. The sorry excuse of a cloth on your body gives way to water, and you mirror your lady in that you are now thoroughly soaked and bare. 

Her gaze roams, and you notice the exact moment that the warm mischievous glint in her eyes goes glacial. She has seen your body, or rather the marks peppered across your neck and chest in varying shades of red. Her face is unreadable, the very picture of aloofness, and although it stings, although it seems as if a chasm has suddenly appeared between the two of you, you try to bridge it, take a step, an olive branch of sorts. It is your darkest nightmare comes true however when she avoids the hand that reaches for her, a look of, dare you say, disgust etched onto her face, and without so much as a word, she takes leave.

What have you done wrong, you do not understand.

All you know is that you feel discarded as though you are but a stale meal.

─────────────────  · · · · ✿

To have been branded by this enchantress of a woman and afterwards carry the very traces of herself on your body, even with a good chance that she will no longer have any recollection of your little moment together, has filled you with bliss as much as having her mouth on your flesh did. 

Although her mien has betrayed nothing and she was the very picture of poise, you knew she was drunk as soon as endearments fell freely from her lips. “My darling sweetheart” so she has called you, and you have been too naive, too lovesick to believe that, albeit being under the influence of liquor, she has peppered you with kisses while thinking of you, while still being aware that it was on your body that she was leaving her traces. Alas, it has never crossed your mind that you would turn out to be a cheap substitute for the one she truly desires.

“Oi oi Lady Senjumaru has brought a girl to her palace.” 

When you have heard such murmurs amongst the guards, as selfish as it is, you were hoping it to be a falsehood.

Your little glimmer of a hope is crushed into smithereens once you are summoned to her chambers only to have your heart join the pile of dust on the ground. Nestled in your lady’s arms like a baby bird, a naked girl mewls and trembles whilst red lips leave messy kisses along her jaw and down the length of her neck.

The spider is making a show of devouring its prey, but instead of fear, you fall victim to pain, oh wretched, unforgiving pain. She is being deliberately cruel because ultimately, you are an audience to this play only due to her invitation.

“My darling little sweetheart.” And you watch, drenched in melancholy, as your lady savours the lips of someone who is not you.

Oh. 

“You.” Comes the voice, indifferent unlike the loving coo that was just uttered to the girl cradled close to her chest. “I want you to tidy up my place while I take my darling home.”

Oh. 

A nod, or rather, a bow is all you can manage so as not to bare your features that is now marred with an endless cascade of tears.

─────────────────  · · · · ✿

Peeved would be a horrible understatement. It does not bode well with Senjumaru that while you were all she could think about, you had been cosying up to another, who, for all she knows, could have been one of her friends. Judging from the little display the other day, it could very well have been Kirio. How laughable she must have appeared, being all overly defensive for naught. 

She admits however that she was unnecessarily cruel with her reaction, and that her little act of revenge was childish at best. Essentially, she has only herself to blame, misinterpreting your innocent admiration for her to be something else, something sacred. And now, with that calloused display of hers, she might have even ruined the bond that the two of you have shared. 

No matter how she reasons with herself, it still perturbs her after all, and once again, something ugly rears its head when she finds more of those lingering hickeys on your body while she crosses paths with you in Kirinden. 

Good and evil play a tug of war, and evil emerges victorious.

“Back from another fun, I presume?”

“Why do you care?”

“My, what gives you the impression that I do? I’m merely curious which one of my comrades’ bed one of my guards is diligently warming every night.”

“Curiosity kills the cat, Lady Senjumaru.”

Rising out of the pool like a predator on a hunt, she corners her prey. Whereas her spindly arms manipulate you so that you are facing away from her and then, trap you against the wall, her two hands find home in the dip of your hips, pulling you until your back fits into the curve of her body.

“And oh does it pounce!” Growls the hunter as lips find your nape, teeth bestowing bruises and tongue soothing stings, all the while you shake like a leaf in her bodily confine.

Her hands wander over to your ribcage, holding you there, thumbing the soft underside of your breasts. It has your back curving into her body.

“Swift work is my biggest selling point, you understand. Do not underestimate the name of Senjumaru.” The sinking of her teeth directly into the throbbing vein on your neck triggers your fingers to dig into the flesh of her thigh. “Shu- ngh- Shutara.”

Senjumaru remembers a dream, an all too tantalising dream. In it, her charming little prey was deliciously caught in her web, and the great weaver has taken her sweet time savouring the delectable creature. What a divine little thing her prey was, squirming in her grasp and panting her name, ambrosia to her ears, while her mouth has mapped as many inches of skin as she could manage, committing everything to memory. It stays with her even when dawn breaks, except that, the dream she had was all but a dream, eluded Senjumaru. 

Amidst her arm twining round your chest, she hears it, a broken little sound that is but a tiny whisper. 

“Why are you doing this to me?”

The lady turns you in her arms. With gentle fingers, she tucks a few wayward strands behind your ears to reveal more of her colourful works, which she gingerly traces with a delicate digit. 

“These were my doing.” It is not a query, merely a statement.

“I understand that you have mistaken me for someone else.” You release a sigh, eyes slipping shut when a thumb presses onto a particularly sore spot. “So please, just let me be.”

“Is that what you want of me? To let you be?”

“What I want doesn’t matter.”

“Why doesn’t it matter?” Your attempt to flee from her gaze is effectively put to an end by a hand cradling your jaw. Mindlessly, a thumb bestows soft caresses to the apple of your cheek. “Answer me.”

“It just doesn’t, alright? Because I’m not- I’m not what you want.” When you look into her eyes, she finds in yours the first dew of tears, and before they could escalate into a cloudburst, she pulls you into her six-armed embrace, your face safely tucked into the nook of her neck. Along with a soft lingering press of a kiss atop your temple, she breathes her words into your skin. “Though I have a penchant for darning, it seems I’m superb at tearing the one thing I want perfectly weaved.”

“I hate you, my lady.” By the way your hands are fisting into her flesh as though your life depends on it, she begs to differ, though she only indulges you, a ghost of a smile hanging loosely on her lips. “Do you now?”

“Very much so. I hate that I love you.”

“Oh, but my dearest, how I love that you love me.”

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

[seiquack]

Late Night Walk

Ran Haitani ( 灰谷 蘭 ) x GN!reader ✧

Overthinking, Mutual feelings (?), Ran loves reader and is obvious about it, mostly reader who overthinks,

proofread: @spoiled-beans707

You knew he wanted you as much you wanted him. The kisses that left your skin marked with shades of purple linger on your skin, gifts and flowers delivered infront of your door to make up for small misunderstandings

These events happen in most friendships yet why is Ran's actions seemed to be laced with something

His texts about his day's shedule, texts asking to hang out, and sudden 'I love you' texts in the middle of night.

You don't know if he really meant those 'I love you's' or if it's just to rile you up and see how you would react.

You are not even sure if you should be with Ran considering the things he has done, being affiliated with gangs the whole part of his life, the tittle he holds that he wears mighty and high not feeling an ouch of shame when explaining on how him and his brother got it

Calloused hands that's always tainted with Crimson blood that didn't belong to him,

holds your hand gently that it almost made you believe he didn't have the strength to break every bone in your body

It was a night in the month of December, walking in an empty park since he suggested the both of you should stroll around town for a while before going to each others respective homes.

Leafless tree's decorated with LED lights with snow decorating the ground surrounded the two of you as the both of your continued to walk

"Come and be apart of my life forever" Ran stops walking still holding your hand causing you to stop in your tracks

He gently squeezes your hand as he looked at you as if you were the most perfect being in every universe that exist.

you give him a look as if he said the most stupid thing in the word

"You wouldn't want that" letting go of his hand, looking away from him starting to walk away

"Yes i do" He replies "Wouldn't you know why I said that?" he questions you following your pace and walking beside you but keeping space between the two of you

"Honestly, I don't want to know" you pause to swallow the lump forming in your throat "everything your sprouting out of your mouth is just a sudden thought you created and you want to solve by doing dumb solutions"

You stop walking and look back to him, he stopped as well just giving you his casual smile that didn't falter at your reply to his question

"How would you know?" He askes you once again raising a brow and putting his hands on his coats pockets. He moves closer to you and adjusts himself til he's infront of you

Giving you a small smile to reassure you he means what he said, and a small kiss to your cheek to back up that reassuring smile

( a/n: I finally found out jow to do that gradient on the text, my friend proofread half of it not the whole thing since I wanted to post again HEHE )

Likes and Reblogs are appreciated ♡ !

m.list @seiquack

[alicerosejensen]

OK. I did it anyway! Finished the translation and tried as best he could. Part 3

I have a lot of debt, but I did it!

Good ending attached. If you like the bad ending of this story then please stop at 2 parts.

There's also a bit of angst here, a mention of smut.

I listened to a bunch of songs while writing this. In fact, there was a gigantic temptation to make Leon's girlfriend run away again, but I decided to fix the broken hearts of readers.

English is not my native language (I will write this as often as possible so that I don't get tomato thrown at me for mistakes). But I tried.

The text is quite large. I do not know if anyone has the strength to master it.

All efforts crumbled like a house of cards. All hopes that your relationship could still be saved were destroyed from the very day when you finally left, taking one suitcase with you.

For Leon, it was still an idiotic comedy that dragged on for a long time. He kept calling, texting, trying to talk to you about this misunderstanding. But you just cut him out of your life right away, without even giving him an attempt to explain everything.

But the comedy turned into a nightmare. Because Leon realized that you really left. A rather dirty game: to become the one who gave him peace and true love, and then in one second set fire to a small flowering island in his soul, leaving ashes behind.

Leon let you get too close to him. So close that he began to consider you his own. At some point, it even seemed to him that no one could love the way he loved you. But now you have turned the blue sky into black, discarding it as an unnecessary thing. Sometimes, stretching out his hand, lying on the bed, Leon woke up, thinking that since you are not around, then you are in the kitchen. You probably eat breakfast while looking at your phone.

But then he remembered.

You've gone. With tears, creating from his image a monster that hurt you throughout the relationship. You have done worse than Ada. It was a hundred times more painful. Leon knows it's crazy, but for just one night with you, he would give his life.

The only woman who has always been on his side. He wanted to feel the soft cotton of your gray T-shirt, but only your hands could be more gentle.

You have always been so pure that the world could be silenced by such innocence and angelic beauty. All the stars could go out if only something happened to you. You are a rare angel, in whose arms nothing hurts, who descended to him, to the last sinner, constantly fighting in an endless hell. Maybe someone decided that he received too much grace?

Leon would agree with that. But he's not ready to accept it. You said that you love him, despite the fact that he supposedly has feelings for Ada, and if he can convince you otherwise, then perhaps his beloved will return to him

But you didn't want to be in that cage. The whole situation with Leon, in your opinion, resembled the plot of Dolly Parton's song "Jolene", where Jolene is Ada Wong, whom you could beg not to take your lover. After all, as Jolene, Ada was the embodiment of an unearthly ideal. With a voice as soft as summer rain and with a smile like the breath of spring… Ha, you grinned remembering the words of the song.

What could you, a simple student, compare to this Ada-Jolene? Leon kept her compact in his bedside table and you still feel the reproach of envy that you will never become such a woman. You still cry when you think how many times he imagined an elusive mercenary in your place. But your happiness does not depend on Ada. You were able to find the strength to open the birdcage and run out to freedom, breathing in fresh air.

Leon used you. Crushed your heart into a piece of paper and threw it into the fire like the last scoundrel. But here you took out a burnt ember, intending to take care of it and already now you see that the first sprouts of trust in other men break into the light. However, love is not knocking at your door yet.

Because there is one huge problem: no matter how much pain Leon caused you, you want to leave him in your memories. Salty rivers of tears flow down your eyes almost every night, forcing you to curl up in the fetal position with your hands pressed to your chest when you read his messages. These are such ruthless blows that literally destroyed your soul. He's already traumatized you enough, so why doesn't he stop it already?!

The whole body and soul are screaming: help me! And the mind doesn't want to forget his fucking name and touch. You can't go back to Leon Scott Kennedy because he will bring nothing but evil. Say to yourself and remember forever: goodbye, my love for this man, because my heart can no longer bear this sick love.

You met in the spring and broke up in the spring. How much joy and sadness this time of year has brought you!

How much pain there is in the world, and all because of fucking love.

But for Leon it was completely different.

It was the middle of the day, when the sun was still high in the sky, promising to illuminate the streets with its light for at least another three or four hours. Late autumn time, Leon didn't want to get out of his mostly, alcohol-smelling apartment, but he had to write a report and hand it over to Hannigan, despite the overdue deadlines. To gather his thoughts a little for an answer, Leon went into a nice cafe, hiding from the strong wind, hoping that in addition to all kinds of desserts, he could order coffee to take away.

Ordinary strong coffee without sugar and hopes that it will not taste like bile.

The arrival of a new visitor was announced by a ringing bell, to the ringing of which the waiter immediately raised his head from his business. Leon was not going to linger, he walked past the tables with a few visitors until the familiar smell of women's perfume hit his nose.

And stopped.

He forgot about everything: Hannigan, the report, his job. About everything that brought him pain from your departure, because right now you were sitting with your back to him in a warm beige dress, holding a glass with some kind of drink with one hand and writing something in your notebook with the other pen, completely ignoring anyone.

All Leon wanted at this very second was to grab you in his arms and never let you go again.

How did this even happen? Why did you, loving him dearly, renounce him in an instant?

And yet your mere presence lifts him from the thorn-strewn earth. Only a meter separated you from each other, but Leon is already burning to the ground. It didn't matter if you were an angel or a demon, you were his love. His restless bird that flew away from him because it could. Because you believed he could still love another woman.

You look like two fools, each of whom believes in his own truth.

You were so serene, calm and nondescript to others. Strawberry ice cream almost melted from lack of your attention or you just didn't find it tasty enough to finish. Leon completely forgot why he came to this cafe. Illuminated by the evening sunlight, you looked like a work of art that you were so fond of.

A slight smile, careless strokes of a strange drawing in a notebook…you looked tired and a little thinner, but for him you remained the most beautiful. Aesthetic - Leon remembers that you like this word.

Did he have the right to disturb you? Like a mirage, Leon didn't want to scare away the one he loved because he knew if he touched you now, you would disappear again. Messages, calls - there were many of them and not one received a response.

If his love really brought you so much suffering, do you need it? Is he really that selfish? But now you tensed up, feeling someone else's gaze on your back, and as if small droplets of crystals began to beat anxiously against each other like wind music warning about who you are desperately trying to get out of your head.

But there was no soulful cry of "run."

You knew he was there. Behind. The heart did not stop with horror - it trembled with excitement. God, don't turn around! So much was lost because of Leon: dreams, hopes, trust, heart…

The palette of the endless emptiness of weekdays turned into slightly brighter colors.

Leon touched your shoulder and you shuddered lifting your head up. It was impossible to ignore this meeting and there was nowhere else to run. His touch was so welcome. The body responded to him by itself, trying to cling closer to feel the forgotten warmth. It was so good.

Suddenly you felt like a drug addict who received a long-awaited dose of the drug.

The purest buzz.

You still didn't say anything, just stared into those diamond eyes, completely losing yourself. By looking at it, you can experience all kinds of death. You wanted to finally surrender to him, submit and accept the inevitable, and then fall asleep in a tight embrace - all for the sake of the illusory hope of not being number 2.

What idiot said that time heals? There wasn't a night or a day when you didn't think about him.

You want to tell everyone to go to hell, and yourself first, because you're the last fool. A proud fool who can't live without him. Damn pride. Leon took a step forward, swallowing loudly, grabbing your shoulder with his other hand, but it didn't hurt. He looked at you as if he was afraid that you would melt into thin air.

You love each other very much, and each of you thinks that one of you does not love the other.

In an instant, everything collapsed in November. Leon knelt down, still squeezing your shoulders. Curse this month. He pressed you to him and you buried your face in his shoulder, inhaling the smell of a leather jacket and barely perceptible cologne. The stubble scratched the skin unpleasantly, but now these sensations were so pleasant.

If Leon doesn't disappear right now, it's going to be the worst month on the calendar. An unhappy month that will leave another stab wound. Your first true love and not a stupid infatuation…Whatever Carey says, it's impossible to forget Leon. There is no longer the strength to drown in it, grasping at a thin thread of feeling.

"Let's talk" - you're definitely a drug addict. His voice was like heroin causing euphoria. Rough and stringy at the same time. The infernal rejection started from him again.

The waiter's voice sounded like a soft soprano, and Leon reluctantly pulled away from you, but did not let go, as if he was afraid that you would jump up from your seat and run away, grabbing your coat. The lungs let out a heavy sigh, but you didn't want to talk to him. It was as if you were afraid that he would have words that would make you return to this anarchy of abnormal relationships. When he loves one woman and sleeps with a completely different one.

"I don't want to, go away," - you whispered, pushing him away with your palm. It was a terrible gesture. But you endured for a long time, accepting his lies, running after him like an obedient dog.

Love is not when it hurts you. And he mocks you and jokes, building those puppy dog eyes. He pretends that this separation is also hard for him. As if he wasn't a soulless being who took advantage of the trust of a girl in love with him.

But the idiotic heart keeps shouting to him, "Love me for a long, long time!" and Leon seems to hear him.

Leon grins, feeling butterflies flutter in his stomach. How many bridges can you burn?

But he strokes your head, runs his fingers through your hair.

"We'll just talk. Please stop ignoring me!"

"Stop foaming at the mouth to prove to me that the mysterious spy in red does not live in your head."

Keep your finger on the pulse and run. After paying for lunch, you grabbed your coat and walked briskly to the exit. And only when Leon caught up with you on the street, trying to stop you by grabbing your wrist, you turned into a scorpion who tried to escape using all his poison.

It's the same thing again.

"You're the worst thing that's ever happened in my life!"- that's what you finally shouted out to him along with all the other shit, but it was this phrase that killed him completely. The gaze seemed to read information from your face, as if checking it for truthfulness. The fucking detector gave out the truth.

"Someone like you never knew what love was. You know what's funny? To Ada Wong, you're just a puppet. A toy that she can play with whenever she wants, and then put it on the shelf and forget." - You poured out your burning poison, turning words into caustic acid to kill him once and for all, despite your tear-stained face. - "That's enough! I will never forgive you! Run after your elusive spy and leave me alone. I deserve to be happy. I'm already broken inside by your fucking love!"

It wasn't fair. You just tore him apart with those words. He's never even half loved you, he's never compared you to anyone! But nothing will bring you back to him. You will no longer illuminate his pitch darkness with your light. Leon really felt like a bastard who trampled on someone who loved him.

He stood there, looking after you, listening to your hysterical sobs, while you ran away again to lick the wounds inflicted. It seemed like you were about to fall to the ground and die from all this pain. All those months that you have not seen him, in no way helped you to stop loving this man. Because things have only gotten worse.

You wanted to lie down and die. Everything you were rebuilding exploded again, turning you into ruins. Ada Wong would never have allowed herself to do that. But the pain you felt became physical. Your head is spinning, the world has become so crazy and alien, sickeningly disgusting, because all the protective mechanisms of orgasm just fail you after all the continuous work. You just screamed from all the injustice that happened to you, and the name of this injustice was Leon S.Kennedy. The fucking bastard who caused you to fall into the mud, acting like an escaped lunatic.

"I hate you," - Leon heard it. The most terrible thing is that he realized that he was destroying you. Your body was experiencing physical pain - spasms, and you already needed professional help. And yet he cradled you like a baby in his arms until you fainted.

One thing you didn't have time to say: despite the fact that you were burning alive, your stupid little heart continues to seek salvation in Leon. It hurts her, but she calls him for help, begging for caring kisses and warm hugs.

What does it feel like to be a girl with a sensitive heart and a brave soul? The moment you discovered that he still loves Ada made you split into many pieces. Lying in a hospital bed, taking medications whose names you don't remember, you heard your mother's muffled crying and fell asleep under it, pulling the blanket over your shoulders, as if under a white noise. Your father stroked your head as if you were a child, slightly dulling the pain that was pounding in your chest.

"You will be sad and forget" - that's what your mother told you when she found out that the cause of the disease was a man. "You won't even remember that you once loved him there."

But you didn't want to forget him. You're so tired of falling asleep thinking about him… because even when you close your eyes like a phantom, you continue to see him. How can you live with this poison in your soul? Leon poisoned you and didn't even send you flowers, considering that he got you into the hospital because of him. And yet part of you was waiting for him to come.

Leon didn't come.

Nervous breakdown on the background of constant stress. Friends also came to find out about your well-being, but only Carey stayed for a long time, trying to pull you out of oblivion, which the brain could not cope with.

She didn't say a word about Leon, fearing that any mention of him would provoke a violent reaction again. Everyone kept saying that everything would be fine and you'd be coming home soon. Did you really feel a little better, but did you feel depressed just thinking about what would happen next? Your beloved friend disappeared as you wanted.

It is in vain to grieve about a failed relationship that was still beautiful, despite the subsequent horror.

"It was wonderful. Goodbye, Leon," you said to yourself when you found a little strength to admit that he is not a monster at all. Time is fleeting, and nothing lasts forever, and you are also unlucky to find happiness in this man.

Drive all thoughts of him away and remember that you are no longer the two of you. Find the strength to learn to live without him and suppressed the passionate feeling of rushing to him under the door banging on it with his fists.

Burn this brand on yourself.

In fact, even in the void can be cozy. When the day of discharge came, your father insisted that you come home again and recover a little from the experience. But you knew that if you came home, you would never erase Leon from your memory. If there was a record with his name on it, you would have listened to it until I broke it.

It's like you've been living in a dark paradise now. There are no medications for memory, but the ones that you started taking clearly muffle all feelings, allowing you to focus on studying. It was quiet and cold in this dark paradise because Leon wasn't there, but you still remembered how your pain-filled body fell to the floor. And yet there was one significant plus that allowed you to live - it was peaceful in this paradise.

And yet, as if you were a lost thing on the shelf, it did not leave you.

November is a really disgusting month. The whole world seemed to be turned upside down. There was the usual calmness with the absence of something important.

But then stability came.

You and Leon don't talk anymore. Apparently, what was said greatly influenced him, but the flowers in your soul still do not bloom. His love for you is still breathing and part of him knows that you love him, but he will prefer to give you a chance to forget him and all the memories associated with him, given how he hurt your soul.

He would like to stay in your life, but not after what he did.

Therefore, he was content with what was left to him. Polaroids from your vacation with him and memories…and some things that you forgot at his place. Meaningless little things, but he kept them. Everyone focused on their lives. You were riding with friends on a bike, exposing your face to the wind, hugging a friend. Leon is back from his work. And everyone missed the other.

But there is no desire to fall into this abyss anymore. Then it was time for healing, it seemed that the impossible was happening, but fate desperately liked to bring your roads together.

Your face is a real masterpiece against the background of daubs. Among the hundreds, Leon noticed you with your bestia when you were choosing some kind of gift, he looked at you from afar.

The cradle of his suffering… Leon feels like he is filled with love for you again, watching you laugh merrily after recovering from all the wounds that he inflicted on you. So cheerful… he had no right to be with you. With the people he values, something happens all the time, but this time he himself is the one who repeatedly stabbed in the back.

You never blamed Ada for your failure, only him, and it was deserved, because until the moment of your loss, Leon still found these meetings… more personal and intimate even if sex between them has not been for a long time. Just something else attracted him, but he would never let ordinary attraction destroy what he really loves.

However, that's exactly what he did. A stupid compact left somewhere in the corner of the bedside table, which he still had from China… you made the wrong conclusions by backing them up with that inappropriate message on his phone and it was still enough to leave him forever. But now you were laughing and it warmed Leon, how he wants to hear this sound again at home, along with numerous words of tenderness.

It was not worth looking at you for so long because some force pulling each other forced you to find this gaze from which you can die and rise again. Everything beautiful has remained very far away. None of you will say a simple "hello" to the other, and yet why are you silent like fools?

Thanks to the pills, all the senses were dulled a little, allowing a stupid thought to slip into your head - to talk to him.

The doctor prescribed you treatment: medications, rest and moderate physical activity, and somewhere between the lines he wrote in invisible ink "no Leon Kennedy." And you're drowning in this swamp again, violating all the doctor's orders. It doesn't hurt yet, but it's already scary to exhale if you stumble, fall into the water and have to start over.

These silent glances with each other… everyone is afraid to take an extra step, because everything can collapse. Leon doesn't want to be the cause of your tears, he's already brought enough shit to a dear person. Everything beautiful has remained very far away. None of you will say a simple "hello" to the other, and yet why are you silent like fools?

Thanks to the pills, all my senses were dulled a little, allowing a stupid thought to slip into my head - to talk to him. You said a lot to him that day, a lot of things he didn't really deserve, trapping him.

But only now are you wondering: did you notice any moments correctly or did you come up with a reason for leaving? After all, sometimes you could catch the scent of someone else's perfume on his clothes and still believe that there is only him and you. Maybe Ada marked it on purpose so that you could figure out who it really belongs to? What if it was her subtle sign for you?

"Stay away from my territory"

But there was another truth. Your bestie got distracted looking at some jewelry in the window when you watched Leon leave. Have you ever wondered who is a masochist God or is it you? It looks like it was you, because no god forced you to follow him. And Leon felt this persecution, which made him turn around when he saw your indecisive face.

You yourself took a step towards him, and the heart itself began to revive after a long hibernation. The truth is, you had no idea what to say.

It was you who wiped away his tears when he was in too much pain.

It was you who banished all his fears when he woke up in the middle of the night.

You were holding his hand. Not Ada.

"I'm sorry…" You nodded for some reason. - "I'm not… princess… this is a chance meeting. I didn't want to bother you, so you wouldn't think about me.

"I know." - Leon barely heard what you said to him, looking away from his eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said to you then.

"What?" - his reaction made your lips smile with a kind smile that he could not forget. Leon seemed really discouraged, but you just turned around to look at Carey to make sure she wouldn't go crazy when she saw who you were talking to. Definitely, it's all because of the pills.

"I said you were the worst thing that happened in my life, but that's not true. In fact, I only told you a lot because I wanted you to be as hurt as I was. However, I shouldn't have done that. You're a good man. I behaved terribly, like a naughty child."

Leon couldn't understand what had just happened to him. His pupils seemed to widen at the impossible words and your ridiculous apologies. After all, if anyone should be apologizing, it's him, because he drove you to a nervous breakdown. He shook his head, just in case checking to see if you were a figment of his imagination, but you were still standing there. Right in front of him. Was what was happening a prank?

Maybe it's karma?

"You don't have to apologize" - all Leon could squeeze out of himself and you just shrugged your shoulder for a long time without answering anything.

"I apologize for saying too much. It's my fault that I ended up in the hospital, not yours. But I'm not apologizing for that…" Ada's name stuck in throat.

"For leaving?" - Leon grinned when you silently agreed with him. - "At least you had the right to. I don't want to hurt you anymore. You've had enough of me already. "

He wanted to touch you. Just to touch your cheek or hand one last time. He didn't want to let you go, but he knew he couldn't keep around if you didn't want to. Leon snorts, trying to shake off this desire. What kind of kisses can we talk about if you don't love him? All hopes for at least some stability in his life burst like a balloon, and Leon himself held the needle in his hands.

"Thank you for your wonderful attitude!" - You shoot him again, saying these words, and Leon recoils from the one he was so eager to see. - "Even if we didn't succeed, I'm still grateful to you. The last few months have been difficult, but it's my own fault. You didn't promise me anything… I've had time to think. With this Ada, everything is much more complicated and longer for you than with me, and I probably didn't want to admit it to myself. I put on pink glasses and didn't want to see anything but pink shades. You didn't need my heart, and you told me about it at the very beginning, but that's how young she is…" - You laughed nervously, feeling that the effect of the pills seems to be starting to evaporate. - Someone has watched too many movies about love. Forgive me for these tantrums if you can."

Carey screamed loudly and you both turned around at her exclamation when she pulled you by the hand trying to take you away from this man. It even amused you a little, but something still pleased your poor soul more - you were able to admit to yourself that your fault was present in this breakup. Not just Leon.

Leon didn't have time to say a word, but it was in vain for him to be sad. You have forgiven him and yourself. It was the most important event that finally brought a bit of long-awaited relief.

There was only one thing you didn't want to understand, either the brain was using a dirty autosuggestion technique, or it was the pills that dorktor prescribed for you. but the point is this:

Kennedy needed your heart. He needed your love, because everything he had, he had already given to you.

He should have apologized, not you. He wanted to come to the hospital to pick you up, but changed his mind at the last moment, fearing that his presence would complicate the situation. And yet Leon followed you to the exit when Carey shouted at him not to dare approach.

It seems that this is the reason for your separation . The one who hammered into you the idiotic idea that you were his "meat for fucking".

But you are no longer running away from him, however, is it really necessary to break into an already destroyed world again, where he destroyed everything. Leon no longer leaves messages, does not call and does not look for a meeting, and you also began to live quietly feeling only constant fatigue and unwillingness to do anything. And it didn't work out with the guys, there were friends, but it didn't go beyond fun gatherings, even if they tried to flirt.

Looks like your heart still belongs to Leon. For him, it's probably a souvenir, and you have a hole in your chest.

Do you remember that bar where we met for the first time? Now, sitting at the same table, you're looking at the place where Leon was with some damn expensive bottle of whiskey. Without thinking about anything. You straightened your legs and just indulged in sweet memories that no longer caused any harm. It's a little sad, but you're still too young to be disappointed in yourself.

Previously, there was some kind of vigorous cocktail of disappointment, hatred, sadness and contempt inside, but now there is absolutely nothing. It's like you finally got a sobering slap in the face, returning to your former state and admitting that suffering is shit.

Was there any point in talking to Leon? He's probably already broken up with his feeble-minded girlfriend and now he's either found another one or is chasing Ada-their favorite cat-and-mouse game. Of course, he really has some part of your cosmetics left in his apartment, a favorite mug, maybe something else… oh! a notebook. What a stupid thing, because there was nothing important in this notebook except funny drawings and a list of products. Well, maybe something else in small things. Leon probably threw everything away a long time ago.

Although you would like to return the mug.

The mug that he gave you with an idiotic inscription.

You unlocked your phone and saw some excited messages from your father. After quickly answering them, you clicked on Leon's number. Just one click separated you. You could have texted or called, but you spat and just put the phone back in your pocket. It would be necessary to delete his number.

And he still has your damn expensive perfume. It is not like the one used by Ada Wong - her fragrance is dominated by fresh citrus notes combined with something cold. A grenade? You liked calmer floral scents. Lilac and gooseberry have a good aroma.

And you would have torn it off with your own hands. Because the bottle cost a lot of money, and was in a limited collection. For some reason, now you remember him and it became so insulting that you lost such an expensive thing (even if Kennedy bought it for you again). But it's still a damn stupid reason to look for a meeting with him!

In general, you should have been kicked out of his head too. Leon kept your things close on purpose but didn't touch them. One part of him hoped that you would remember them and come to pick them up, and the other party was afraid that then he would have nothing left. The last memories will be gone. He loved flipping through your notebook, finding funny the drawings you made while you were sitting at boring lectures.

He doesn't care, he knows that you liked this perfume, and he also knows that you can't afford such a luxury right now. It's a shitty act to look for a meeting with you again when all the dots are already set.

Even though he wants to see you, can he really let you go later?

However… he wants to write to you. Fingers are already typing a message when an alert with your number and a short phrase appears in front of the screen: Can I pick up some things?

Holy shit! YES!

Leon answered immediately. The usual "yes" despite the fact that everything inside was screaming. A couple of minutes later, another message came asking when you could do it and he wanted to answer in a sarcastic manner, what exactly is for you at any convenient time.

But the line came out the usual "when you want, then take it." Maybe it was a little rude.

Nothing else followed. Leon had no idea when to expect you. Apartment was in terrible condition. In addition, there was your wilted cactus on the computer table. Cactus. Wilted. Maybe because his hostess collected all the belongings and left forgetting him?

Leon didn't know how to take care of him at all. Just poured half-drunk water into a small flower pot, and that's it. The flower that grew on it has long disappeared, and the cactus itself has turned yellow. He turned the pot over in his hand, looking at it from all sides, wondering if it could be fixed somehow in a short time, but decided that if it really upset you, he would buy exactly the same one.

At least to make it up to you a little.

After about an hour of thinking, there was a quiet knock on the door. Leon, casting a cursory glance once again at the unfortunate cactus, let you into the apartment pretty quickly, but you stood there for a few more seconds as if you were afraid to enter the lion's den, which would certainly bite off your head if he crossed the threshold of the apartment.

"Hey," - Your hand waved nervously in the air as a greeting when you were here again, afraid of being captured by your own memories.

Leon only apologized for the mess (although he managed to clean up some things while you were just standing outside the door for about 30 minutes, gaining strength to knock) and offered you tea, knowing how much you love him. A great opportunity to find out what happened to your favorite mug, but you refused first of all by casting a glance at the withered plant.

"I watered him from time to time." He hesitated, scratching his head with his hand. - "Maybe he needed fertilizer, but I didn't know anything about it, especially since it's a cactus!.. Okay sweetheart, just let me buy you a new one or something.

Your laughter slightly diluted the gloomy atmosphere, and Leon clearly felt better.

"It's all right." - A small pot appeared in your hands with the intention of taking it and then throwing it away. - "To be honest, this guy has been sick for a long time. Eventually, he still fell to the death of the brave."

You smiled wearily, making some kind of hero out of a cactus, and your ex-boyfriend also picked up the cheerful mood, lowering his head as he leaned back against the bar, watching his angel take the last thing he had left from this relationship.

Leon compares this to the fact that you gave him the strongest and most beautiful wings when you agreed to be with him. Something truly pure and bright, which allowed him to fight with bioweapons, only for the sake of you and your kind. And now with relentless cruelty you are tearing these wings along with the spine. As the most severe punishment for a mistake.

You silently gather your things, trying not to let your hands shake as Leon watches your actions, fighting the urge to try to stop you again.

Inside, it feels like a guitar string is breaking or sad chords are playing in the soul. One sentence: All gone. You will be left behind, like another experienced chapter of his life, but the fact that the pages of this chapter were full of sincere joy only makes it worse.

Leon's eyes are on the lookout for anything that might help you change your mind. Turn the pages of the book of life a little back and rewrite the plot, correcting this misunderstanding. Although luck is not on his side again.

How to regain lost trust?

It was hardly possible. He could show you those messages from Ada, try to prove that the powder box has been in the trash for a long time, but would you believe him?

He called you by your name as you put the rest of your cosmetics in your bag, thinking that Leon didn't have anything particularly important from your things left. Of course, you turned around meeting with those eyes in which if you look for a long time you can drown, but now only Leon was choking of the two.

"You said then that I didn't promise you anything. it was true, I didn't really make any promises. No vows that I want a family, children and everything else that normal people have, since my work does not imply their presence." - Leon moved to a safe distance so you wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Unlike you, even when under stress, he was well oriented and adjusted to the situation, because your eyes were already watering. - "I don’t understand at all what you saw in me that you fell in love with so much, but it was not non-reciprocal. Maybe I didn't say much, but I meant it. These gifts, trips, dinners in restaurants..."

"In your words, I became like a gold digger who managed to find a rich fool." - You interrupted him with a loud squelching nose.

"What?... oh no! Fuck... I didn't mean it. I just know I screwed up. I have a whole carload of problems that I didn't want and don't want to involve you in. Ada - is in this carload . You are right, a lot connects me with her and the story is very long, but believe me, this is not at all what I really want. When I was 21, it was damn interesting. I was attracted to her for many years until that outbreak in Lanshiang. I won’t lie, we met not only on missions, but also after them; Ada has repeatedly saved and helped me; I will not lie and say that I have never had sex with her, but! There is a huge difference between the usual attraction to each other and really sincere feelings. And you were never fucking meat to me!" - Leon raised his voice, but not to hurt you. These crystal blue eyes resembling ice, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, could melt the heart of anyone. He was the one who could turn you into a puddle in seconds. - "From the moment you agreed to be with me, I had no relationship with Ada other than working. Even in my thoughts. We have our own style of communication - it's true. Flirting and banter, but when you showed up…I didn't need anything else."

"Nevertheless, you have loved her for more than ten years. It's not an attachment anymore, Leon. It's weird that I have to explain this to you." - There was no longer that stone in your chest that prevented you from speaking. You felt like a kind of abbess who reveals the truth to the boy standing in front of you (who was much older). - "We managed to get into all this dirt like this…"

"Was our relationship dirt for you?" - You looked up at him. You could clearly see the experience, pain and sadness. As if what happened broke him completely. Leon frowned, waiting for your long answer. - "I haven't always been open with you, and yes, you deserve a younger guy. Someone from your college or just a nice man your age. But you really were the best episode in my life, despite the fact that things weren't always smooth between us."

"It's not about me" - The lip gloss that you were restlessly twisting in your hands all this time finally fell out, rolling to Leon's feet, as if it was a sign to finally approach him, but you were afraid of getting burned again.- "Understand me… I want to be loved. For real. I'm not a fool either, although you probably think I am…"

"I never thought that about you. Naive, careless - yes. But you always had enough brains."

"Women like Ada Wong… -" you kept trying to ignore Leon's gaze. - "You can't get them out of your head. A kind of fatal beauty, capable of hitting any man to death. Such women have no rivals, and you do not consider it an insult, but she chose you, which means that you belong to her forever. However, you don't mind, do you? If I were you, I wouldn't be able to resist her either."

"Yes… - Leon smiled very unpleasantly, sitting down on the edge of the bed, throwing you your lip gloss, which you managed to catch and throw into a gym bag. - "Manipulation; constant concealment of information; a rather specific concept of "relationship". We've been lovers for a long time-I won't deny it, besides, it doesn't make sense. But I'm telling you the truth: you've become everything to me. As I could, I showed my love and care. Trust me, sweetheart , when you get into the same shit year after year, not knowing if you'll live to see the next day… well, it's a bit tedious. With Ada BEFORE YOU, I had some stability. The stability of our crazy meetings, yes, I had feelings. Until I realized that all this is fucking nonsense and it's not love at all, but an ordinary attachment to a person I've known for many years. And it was never love."

"More than ten years…" - Leon shook his head when you said those words one by one, slowly, as if savoring each. - "If you wanted to stop everything, you would stop it, but she is really a part of you that you will never let go. She occupies a big place in your heart, and I don't want to sit on the bench at all, so that during your next break you come to me. Don't you think it's unfair to me and my feelings?"

You trembled. The nerves began to give up again and the fingertips began to go numb, covered with a sticky cold sweat. Trying to listen to your own feeling, you only heard the frantic beating of your heart and the blood pounding in your ears. In some ways, it resembled a pre-fainting state. Part of you knew that Leon wouldn't do anything wrong, and the other part was terrified of the conversation going on.

You urgently needed to grab something to distract yourself. But most of the things were already in the bag.

On the other hand, it was hard to tell what Leon was thinking. His eyes focused on one point-you. A mixture of misunderstanding, irritation and bitterness in one bottle. He got the feeling that you were trying to convince him to believe your own lies, because during the time that you were together, Leon never gave a reason to think that there was someone third in his life.

But you felt something that you wanted to tell him against your better judgment for a long time. This is what you started falling asleep with when you first started suspecting him of cheating, despite the fact that it was very stupid.

"I thought my love was enough for you and me. I was ready to forgive you for the first mistake, Leon. I thought I could be irreplaceable for you, but now I realize that I'm not her equal."

"God, can you hear yourself?" - Leon ran his hand through his hair pulling it back, sincerely tired of explaining the same thing to you. As if you really were…blunt.

However, he didn't need to tell you, you yourself understood what he was thinking. And yes, it was stupid to come here again. You're really dumb.

"The conversation reached a dead end." - you continued to collect the rest of the things, once again capitulating to him.

"You're leading him to a dead end!" - Leon jumped up from his seat, shouting loudly at the top of his voice. You recoiled to the side, away from his formidable figure, next to which your own seemed very tiny. Your subconscious was still saying "don't be afraid," but your instincts were afraid of any violence. He could scream, he could hit… Leon never did this, it was the lowest act for him to hit another (unless circumstances require it), and disputes were generally resolved by ordinary conversation. You knew he could raise his voice, but Leon chose to leave before he reached boiling point. - "What else do I have to tell you to make you believe me?"

Your heart sank. But stand still. The commanding tone of the inner voice told you to resist, and apparently the small iron makings of your father's character were passed on to you. As a last resort, you quickly glanced towards the door, holding a bag in your hands, figuring out a plan in case of escape, and Leon noticed your strange behavior. Disappointed once again. In myself or maybe already in you? Do you really think he's such a monster?

"Why the fuck are you shaking so much?" - It wasn't funny anymore. Leon snatched the bag and threw it with all his might into a corner, not caring about the fragile contents. - "One big quarrel and I became the son of a bitch who beat you up or what? I'm not an angel, and with all my adoration, you're not a gift either! But did I hurt you at least once?!

"Yes!" - In a fit of emotion, you screamed, closing the distance with one big step. Leon chuckled. He meant physical pain, not mental pain. - "You hurt me. And it's still hard for me to live with this wound. I screwed up too. You know, I'm not the only loser here! And this is not a quarrel! You're a fucking jerk who still can't figure out his feelings. You didn't promise me shit, and it's my mistake that I came up with a big love for you ! But no one who has a conscience and respect for a partner will keep a compact of an ex-girlfriend and correspond with her in a joking manner. For some reason, my father does not allow himself to do this. No truly loving man will ever allow himself to do this! And instead of at least admitting the obvious, you convince me of something else! Tell me, Leon, if I did this to you, would you want to keep talking? Would you be able to trust me? "

"This shit has been lying there for a fucking cloud of time. I've already forgotten about her!"

Now both of you have switched to raised tones. You weren't scared anymore. The anger inside you was growing, erasing absolutely all the feelings that had been blunted before. Now you wanted to be fucking rude to him again, and that's probably what he liked about you. Leon even suspected that you would flare up like a match and be able to hit him.

"Forgot about the messages too?!"

"Fuck..." - It was unbearable to fight with you. Like a stubborn sheep who believed a stupid fool - his damn friend Carey. Leon pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened a message chat with Ada. There was no government information there, so he turned the screen to your face so that you could see what was written months earlier. But you didn't even look. Until Leon grabbed your wrist and put the smartphone in your hand. - "Look, read it since you're so sure that I still love Ada. It already seems to me that you are crazy about her".

Stubbornness was not always the best trait of your character, so you pressed the button on the side of the screen and just put the phone on the bedside table, making it clear that you would not stoop to such baseness to dig into other people's things. You also had a sense of your own worthiness.

"What happened?" - Leon croaked, taking a step forward. - "You wanted proof-I gave it to you."

"I don't want anything anymore Leon"

Only one thought was spinning in your head like a gear, "In vain. You shouldn't have come! Nobody got better from the fact that you disturbed this wound by reopening it." And yet you lied to yourself first of all. Leon's anger is caused by your disbelief, but even in a fit of the most terrible rage, he never did anything to you. Although you definitely felt uncomfortable from the tense atmosphere that had developed, where almost sparks were flying around the room, you still kept well with your arms crossed on your chest.

You needed Leon. You still wanted to love him and hugging a pillow at night you imagined that you were hugging him. But agreeing to be a fallback is also not in your style. There will still be a drop of pride for this.

So you just went to your bag, trying to pick it up to pick up the last belongings and leave, but Leon grabs your wrist. No pain. A firm grip is like a call to stop and give him a few more tries before he lets you go forever.

And you freeze, yielding to your instincts that purr sweetly from the slightest intimacy with this man. I wonder if Leon feels your pulse beating wildly? He lets go of your hand, biting his lower lip, and God, how you want to reach out to him to remember again what it's like to be his lover…

"So you came here just to break my heart again?" - his palms rested on your face, forcing you to look at him. For a second you suffocated drowning in the fragrance of his body and losing your mind looking into those eyes again. It's like they were pulling the soul out of you. - "Which of us is hurting the other more? First you reject me by running away for two months, then you pack up and say you never want to see me, but now you're coming back again… Of the two of us, who is the greater sadist?"

Your cheek pressed against his palm. A wave of heat spread throughout your body in small electrical discharges, as if you had taken a heavy intoxicating drug that turned you into clay in his hands. Leon pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes so that you could listen to the steady breathing and you were so waiting for the last kiss. At least a light touch of his lips…

Maybe in fact the main villain of this story was not Leon at all, but you yourself?

"I do not know," - somehow you whispered barely audible. Despite your closeness, you weren't sure Leon heard. -" I'm completely confused"

His bangs fell over your eyes, which made you smile a little.

"Do you want to leave?" - A question that made the body shudder with fright. As if you didn't want him to ask it to you, because an inner voice kept saying "no" and common sense began to doubt the correctness of the decisions made earlier. - "I don't want to let you go, but I can't forcibly hold you either. I really love you no matter what you think of yourself there, and it doesn't matter whether you believe me or not."

"I want to believe you but" - the voice trembled like a string. You lowered your gaze, trying to blink away the hateful tears despite the fact that Leon continued to hold your face.

"What?"

"I'm afraid." - you finally confessed, feeling a huge crack in your heart. Leon pressed you to his chest and you were grateful to him at that second because you no longer had the strength to control your emotions. - "I'm just afraid"

"My love? Or what?"

You didn't know what you were afraid of anymore. Leon pressed his cheek to the top of your head, holding the back of your head. Both of you didn't even notice how it started raining outside, creating an atmosphere of silence and loneliness. All that the soul craved was to stay standing like that for longer or even for an eternity. You feel his other hand on your waist, but you don't have the resolve to hug him back.

"It's not even about Ada, right?" - you didn't say anything. - "Do you really distrust me so much that you are ready to believe anyone but me?"

"You smelled of her perfume; you kept her things and never trusted me. I've always been away from you."

"Believe me angel, the shit that I constantly see haunts me almost every night and this is not what I want for you at all. Even if you begged me, I would never tell you about it. And about the rest…I have no idea what you smelled there."

Leon's words sounded like a final chord. No more excuses. Your body reflexively pressed against him, feeling the lost warmth of your native closeness, which caused the corners of Leon's lips to slightly rise up.

And in the end, you succumbed to the temptation of clasping his back with your trembling hands, covering your eyes from the fatigue of what is happening.

His lips touched your hair, and the noisy intake of breath that followed made him plunge into memories. It seemed like everything was covered in a misty haze, and your scent could make him lose his mind, even if it was for brief moments. The anxiety of a quick farewell enveloped the body, but there was something else… something that excites the mind regardless of temperature. A strange and at the same time precious emotion that has returned comfort to you two, affectionate behavior to each other, warmth of soul. This is something from the depths of the heart.

If Ada was a candle all this time, whose light illuminated a narrow space, then you were like the sun, whose warmth and beauty he missed so much. Leon realized that he was looking at a dazzling man with a huge sun inside, which dispelled all the darkness that had hung over him since the days of Raccoon City.

He knew he had no right to do that, and you could have pushed him away, but Leon wanted to feel your light one last time. Tearing you away from his shoulder so that the next moment he could press his lips to yours, memorizing your sweet taste. Like a rare nectar that can only be tasted once. A crushing kiss filled with belated remorse.

"Let this be my parting gift"

You're not annoyed or even angry. Whatever happens, you will always love him more than you should. So much time spent in vain to burn bittersweet feelings out of a stupid heart and stop following stupid emotions. Everything was absolutely in vain.

You pursed your lips when Leon started pulling away from you. As an avalanche hit a lonely wanderer, so you were dying at this second. leon believed that his love was hurting you and he is ready to step back so that you can heal, but the fact is that now you are at a crossroads again, not knowing the right way.

So maybe we should turn back?

You don't have an umbrella, just a thin jacket, and it's still raining mercilessly outside, as if someone is mourning the heavens. Drops trickle down the glass, and you wipe away your own tears, trying to listen to the footsteps behind you, but they are not there. A gigantic heaviness rolled over.

"It's stupid," you sobbed when you heard his voice, the one that cut you from the inside like a knife blade, forcing you to clench your teeth. - "I will never look for a meeting with you again, but still…stay with me."

"I..I can not…don't know" - Leon hugged you from behind again. Your voice was lost in hoarse sobs and if it weren't for his strong hands, your knees would hit the floor. It was as if the scenario of that day was repeating itself. - "I don't want to leave. I love you so much..."

You covered your mouth with your hand, unable to hold back your sobs any longer. It's just that emotions poured out in a flurry, turning you into a crying mess. However, the grip on your thin shoulders tightened when Leon turned you around to face him, holding you in a vice.

And your hand felt so good on his neck… Leon smiled as if he didn't want to know anything else in the world, starting to cover your tearful face with smudged kisses lingering on your lips and when you started answering all the barriers finally collapsed.

"So you'll stay." - no question. - "No more tears. No jealousy. You're here with me."

"Lee..on…" - with difficulty pronouncing his name, he burst into your mouth with a new kiss that stopped your breath. His tongue easily slid into your mouth intertwining with yours and you knew where to put yourself, allowing his hands to wander over your body.

"Either you leave now and never come back, or we send everything to hell and forget all the shit that happened to us. Choose now."

You were hanging around his neck, and to be honest, this really was your last chance to escape. It was only necessary to make a movement to the side, to pull away from him, but you stood still. One minute. Two… maybe the last two minutes of your sane thoughts.

You stayed, continuing to look into those sky-blue eyes, pressing your forehead against his, without interrupting eye contact. The person standing in front of you was irreplaceable, and now you would rather part with your life than agree to part with him.

Leon stroked your cheek with a funny peck on the lips, causing a sincere smile.

"Never dare to doubt me. Don't ever leave again. You and I will go somewhere far, far away from here. Let's drop everything and go to some house on the shore of the lake, where we will enjoy the tranquility and each other." - another kiss on the swollen nose. You just nodded, clinging to his T-shirt.

You've always been more of a vanilla girl, but Leon decided that rudeness would be superfluous. Not now and not tonight. He pulled off your clothes along with your underwear, throwing you on the soft bed that you already shared with him once and all you could think about was how he proved his love for you, holding you motionless in his arms, licking wet tracks from his cheeks. You didn't have the strength to fight him trying to take the initiative, the only thing you were thinking about was deep slow thrusts knocking moans out of your mouth. Leon was hugging you to him with great greed and a bit of fear, as if you could run away from him now. That's why he whispered soothing words and praise in your ear all the while tucking your hair back.

"I love you. You have no right to think otherwise. You're just my pretty girl, look at me, beautiful" - Leon threw you on the pillow, forcing you to open your eyes. Panting, you obeyed, wrapping your legs around his torso, pressing even closer to him, while Leon found your hand, twining your fingers together. - "I need you. You're my favorite girl, I love you so much. More than anything in the world, I value you, don't you dare leave me anymore, angel."

His smooth movements were maddening. Leaning over to you, he caught your lips pulling into a gentle kiss, but you immediately interrupted him leaning against his cheek like a petting cat, losing his head and blushing from vulgar pops and squelching sounds due to the abundance of lubricant.

"Don't leave me," - you freed your hands trying to straddle him, but Leon crossed your sad attempt pressing only harder to the mattress. - "I'm not leaving anymore, I swear. I'm so sorry… I've never wanted anyone more than you. Only you…my love…"

He was so gentle with you. There could be bruises from your closeness in some places, but you felt as good as ever in all the past months of separation. A loud moan escaped his lips when he plunged into you too deeply. His seed soiled your belly when he cum snuggling up to you.

You don't remember exactly when your sanity returned to you, but you definitely felt it when Leon, after the second round and long hugs with compliments, took you to the shower where he carefully washed off the traces of your intimacy with him, gently kissing and sucking every bruise left from his fingers, promising that he would take care of it in the morning.

You ran your fingers over his wet bangs, brushing it away from his eyes, which Leon used when he picked you up under the hips after taking a hot shower to take you back to his bed and let you rest.

Actually, the bed linen should have been changed too, but you two didn't care at all. Leon pulled you closer to him, laying you on his chest, hugging you with both hands, stopping any attempts to escape, but you were no longer planning to run anywhere. He fell asleep pretty quickly, and you lay motionless next to him for another hour, tormented by a feeling of hunger and thinking how you could get to the refrigerator without disturbing a light sleep. His shirt was left lying on the floor and with an awkward movement, as if deceiving a sleeping man with the desire to turn over, you carefully free yourself from the ring of embraces by getting out of bed. You take a cursory glance at Leon, making sure that he is still asleep and throw it on hastily without even buttoning his shirt, leaving the bedroom with light steps with the obvious intention of robbing his refrigerator.

Slowly and on tiptoe… wanting to have a snack at least with a sandwich, you realize when you open the door that a mouse has hanged itself in the refrigerator. Nothing particularly edible, and what Leon ate all this time, also remains a mystery.

Although it seems the cheese seemed quite usable. It's not too satisfying after a particularly sinful night, but you can last until morning. You already want to close the door when suddenly you realize with a sixth sense that someone is standing behind you, forcing you to freeze in place with a slice of cheese in your teeth.

But Leon just stroked your thighs laughing at the silent scene.

"I'm hungry" - That's the whole excuse. - "I'm sorry, but I won't fall asleep if I don't eat something…"

"I told you not to leave me anywhere." - It sounded harsh, but with obvious notes of playfulness, especially since Leon was clearly staring at your breasts. - "You could have asked me instead of running away again. God, stop eating that cheese. I don't want you to get poisoned!"

"Then feed me something or I'll starve to death. I definitely won't be able to return from the other world."

Leon took the fucking cheese out of your hands after enjoying this sweet conversation between two lovers and one hungry heart and threw you over his shoulder carrying you back to the bedroom, putting you back in his bed.

"And now you're lying or sitting in bed like the obedient girl you are while I bring us something to eat. If you are not in this place, blame yourself. You've already rubbed my nerves and yours enough, angel." - You nodded, still feeling the residual stress from the hysteria you experienced, but you were still smiling sweetly, hanging one leg over the edge of the bed, teasing Leon a little, who was getting dressed all this time. He noticed your stupid game and took a leather jacket from the closet on the way out of the bedroom tickled your heel, forcing you to hide it back under the blanket.

"You're staying here. So that when I come back, and it will be very soon, I will find you in this very place." - Notes of sadness and fatigue were still hovering in his eyes, so you didn't argue, but just agreed.

"I'll be here. It's raining outside anyway and I don't have an umbrella with me."

Leon flicked you on the nose, clearly not appreciating the joke. He didn't even ask what you wanted, even though he already knew about your taste preferences. Therefore, as soon as the door slammed shut, you quickly reached for your mobile phone, answering missed calls from your parents, explaining to them that you just dozed off and didn't hear the mobile. In general, you have found something to do by digging into your phone, checking messages and flipping through the news feed in the social network, thinking only about Leon and the food that he should bring soon.

It all still seemed unreal. You looked at the corner where your abandoned bag was left lying around, as if confirming reality. It's unlikely to be possible to pretend that nothing happened and Leon really looked too tired, but right now you didn't want to think about anything else except his return. Perhaps you have already suffered enough and you really should go on vacation together somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of the world? Leon will probably want to talk about this topic again with a fresher head when he calms down a little.

In the end, finding you sleeping in his bed was a really beautiful reality that he was afraid he had already lost. In his shirt, with pretty bare thighs, sleeping lightly on his pillow. Leon put the bag of food on the table, taking off his jacket just to hug you, proving to himself once again that this is really not a dream.

You really stayed with him and he won't let you leave anymore.