#Loss is never just one way if you know you bring value to something. I legit felt that yesterday for the first time in my life

[idontmindifuforgetme]

Reframing whenever someone decides to leave you out of something or walks out of your life or just all around neglects your presence not as your loss but as theirs…. like that could have been so much more fun w me in it but I wasn’t and that will forever be your loss

[gay-dorito-dust]

I’d die for you.

Viktor:

‘I’d die for you.’

‘Please don’t.’ He says almost pleading with you to reconsider after hearing you say such a thing, to be willing to trade off your own life for his own that was already on borrowed time, so wouldn’t your sacrifice be a waste if he was bound to die regardless?

He came from the undercity where loss was an constant occurrence and survival was the norm. So the idea of loosing you wasn’t one he’d warmly welcome nor want to endure as he’d only bury himself deep within his work, going to such lengths with the off chance that he could theoretically bring you back from the cold embrace of death,

‘You’ve got so much ahead of you Viktor.’ You countered. ‘So much to do to achieve your goal of helping others!’ You add.

Viktor moves to look at you from his workplace with a raised brow. ‘And so you automatically think your life is forfeit in comparison because of this?’ He asks as if to show you just how ridiculous it was to just throw your life away because you believed his dreams for the future outweighed the worth of that of your own life.

You stayed quiet as you could see the disbelief clear within his amber eyes as he grabbed his cane and made his way over to you to hold your hand in his long, slender and calloused ones as they caress the back of your knuckles. ‘For it’s not. No life is more important than the others solely based on what the person can give to others.’ Viktor tells you as sits himself down next to you.

‘Our lives are of equal value and I’d would much rather you’d live for me instead.’ He says with a small smile. ‘Do you think you can do that for me?’ He then asks softly, intertwining your fingers together. You smiled back at him. ‘I can sure try as long as you do too.’ You replied and Viktor let out a sigh of relief, squeezing your hand in thanks.

‘Then we shall live for each other.’ Viktor said but little did you know that he’d be lying and he wasn’t going to be staying very soon.

Ekko:

‘I’d gladly die for you.’

‘No, you wont.’ Those words might’ve come out more harsher than Ekko wanted but he wasn’t about to let you joke about trading your life for his own. He just wouldn’t.

Even now the idea of you being the self sacrificial hero made him feel slightly sick to his stomach. He was the one who should be protecting you, protecting everybody really and once his mind was made up Ekko was more or less an immovable object, never yielding and never budging from his ideals for nothing.

So to say he wasn’t liking the idea of you dying on him was an understatement. He didn’t like it for a plethora of reasons as he’s already lost enough people close to his heart, he wasn’t willing to have you be amongst them, painted on the mural by his own hand as he feels the guilt and grief eat away at his heart. ‘Promise me you won’t be reckless the next time we’re out on a mission.’ He gives you his pinky, something you two did when you were being serious about things.

‘Ekko-‘

‘Promise me you won’t.’ Ekko cuts you off in desperation, his eyes wide and his breathing becoming rapid and uneven the longer you didn’t immediately link pinkies with him like you usually did, it had him feeling as though his heart had dropped to his stomach. ‘I don’t want to loose another person I love.’ He adds and you interlock your pinkies with him before being pulled into his strong embrace where he buried his face into yours neck, not wanting to let go of you after hearing that statement leave your mouth.

‘I’m not ready to say goodbye to you just yet.’ He whispered into your neck, grip tightening on you as he feels you rub his back soothingly. Ekko wasn’t ready for the day he’d have to say goodbye to you and so until that day he’ll keep protecting you until he couldn’t anymore, for he’d rather see you move on forward without him, but if he knew you as well as he did then you would just be equally as stubborn to see him live another day.

So he’ll just keep ahold of you like this everyday when you were alone just to remind himself that you were still here and here you will stay.

Silco (young) :

‘I’d die for you.’

‘Don’t say such things, haven’t we suffered enough?’ He’d say as he has you by your shoulders, his grip tightening in tandem with the idea of possibly loosing you to all sorts of things, whether it’d be Zaun or the corrupt enforcers from topside. Silco wasn’t exactly willing to lose the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.

It was a day he’d never wish to see pass him by as he didn’t know what he would do should he find you dead in the rubble from a something that was purposely intended for him, he’d blame himself and be left to seek solitude in the darkness and shadows should that ever be the case.

‘But it’s true.’ You’d reply.

Silco grits his teeth at your stubbornness but it was one of your defining traits that he deeply adored. ‘Well I’m not going to allow it.’ He retorted. ‘I won’t allow you to hastily throw your life away just because you felt like being a hero.’ He practically spat out the last part as though it were poison. Hero what the hell has being a hero ever done for anyone? Nothing that’s what and Silco would refused you at every time you got like this, not once liking the implications it left within his head.

‘Not a hero, just someone who cares enough about another person to be willing to see them keep living, even if it means dying in the process.’ You defended yourself, crossing your arms over your chest as you continued to look him in the eyes to prove your words true, but you didn’t need to do that for Silco knew well enough you were a person of your word, never once going back on it when you probably should’ve.

‘Heroes don’t exist in Zaun.’ Silco said as he rests his head against yours, looking you in the eyes. ‘So don’t try and be the first for I don’t want to be the one to make your mural. Don’t make me have to leave you behind. Don’t make me mourn for what we could’ve had.’ He pleads with you as you gently hold his face and caress his cheeks, allowing him the chance to rest his eyes and drink you in through your touch.

He didn’t like the idea of you dying before him, not one bit, so he’ll try and make sure that you survive together long enough to see the betterment of Zaun.

[redvdress]

A/N: No warning, just comforting grumpy Levi.

“Shit, that feels nice,” Levi muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, though the usual steel in his tone was missing. His eyes were half-lidded, their sharpness softened by exhaustion. Rarely did he ever allow himself such moments of vulnerability, but with you (just you) it felt almost natural, as if the weight he constantly carried could be set down, even if just for a short while.

You smiled, a knowing glint in your eyes as you ran your fingers through his hair, something you’d learned he secretly enjoyed despite his protests. “You always act like you hate this,” you teased lightly, your tone playful, but affectionate. “But I know better by now.”

“Tch.” He clicked his tongue, his usual response to any kind of teasing, though the lack of edge in his voice betrayed him. “Don’t get used to it, brat,” he grumbled, his expression still fixed in that typical frown of his. But even then, there was something different in the way his shoulders had relaxed ever so slightly. “Doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate it, though.”

You continued with gentle, deliberate movements, your touch careful, knowing that someone like Levi rarely let down his guard. His entire life had been a fight, a constant battle for survival—first in the slums of the Underground, then against the Titans, and later against human enemies. His body bore the scars of countless battles, each one a reminder of the burden he carried.

“You’re really different when it’s just us,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper, aware that pushing too hard might cause him to retreat into his usual stoicism. “Softer, in a way.”

He snorted, a sound that could have almost been a laugh if it weren’t for the way he quickly masked it. “Softer, huh?” His eyes flicked toward you, narrowing slightly in mock warning. “Don’t go spreading that around. I have a reputation to maintain.” His voice carried that familiar gravelly tone, but underneath it, there was a rare warmth, something only you seemed to bring out in him.

You smiled at that, knowing full well how Levi valued his hardened exterior, the one that made him humanity’s strongest soldier. “Your secret’s safe with me,” you reassured him, fingers still threading through his dark locks. “But honestly, you should let yourself relax more often. You deserve it. If anyone does, it’s you.”

For a moment, silence settled between you, comfortable yet weighted. The tension that usually clung to him like a second skin seemed to ease, though not completely. Levi was someone who lived on the edge, always anticipating the next battle, the next loss. He rarely allowed himself to dwell in peace, because peace, to him, felt fleeting. Too fragile. Too easily shattered.

“It’s just… hard to switch off,” he finally admitted, his voice rougher now, as if the words had to be dragged out. “I’m always waiting for the next fight, the next crisis. Can’t afford to stop. Not when there’s still so much at stake.”

You nodded, your heart aching for him. For all that he’d been through, for the people he’d lost. Erwin. Hange. The countless soldiers under his command who had fallen in the endless war against the Titans. You understood why it was so hard for him to relax, why he felt that resting—even for a moment—was a luxury he couldn’t afford.

“But even you,” you murmured softly, leaning closer, “even humanity’s strongest soldier needs a break. You’re human, Levi.”

He scoffed, the usual harshness returning, though it lacked its usual bite. “Yeah, well, being human is a pain in the ass.”

You let out a quiet laugh, knowing full well how much he hated admitting to any kind of weakness, even if it was something as simple as being tired. But as your eyes met his, you saw the rare softness there—the vulnerability he never showed anyone else. Levi was a man who had spent his life hiding his pain, locking it away behind walls of indifference and sharp glares, but with you, those walls had cracks.

Leaning down, you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, something that would have earned you a scowl if it were in front of anyone else. But here, in the privacy of this quiet moment, he allowed it. “You’re my pain in the ass,” you whispered, a gentle teasing lilt to your words.

For a second, the smallest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. A real smile. Not the sardonic, bitter kind he sometimes gave in battle, but something more genuine. “Damn right I am,” he muttered, his hand instinctively reaching up to grasp yours, though he said nothing about it.

The room was quiet, save for the occasional distant noises from the outside—a world that never seemed to stop moving, never gave anyone a real chance to breathe. But here, in this small pocket of time, it was just the two of you, lying there in a rare moment of peace.

Levi shifted slightly, adjusting himself so that he could pull you closer, his hand resting on your back in a way that felt protective, possessive, but also… gentle. “Thanks,” he muttered gruffly, his voice low, but there was a sincerity in it that you didn’t hear often from him. He rarely let himself be this open, this honest.

You didn’t respond with words. Instead, you simply rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was a reminder that beneath the soldier, beneath the hardened exterior, Levi was still human. Still someone who could feel, even if he didn’t always allow himself to.

For now, that was enough. You could feel the tension in his body slowly unwind, bit by bit, as he allowed himself—if only for a short while—to rest.

Tomorrow, the world would demand everything from him again. But for tonight, he could just be Levi.

[ahqkas]

could you please do how bruce would admit his feelings ? tysm i appreciate your writing so much !! :)

♯ MADE OF FLESH AND BONES ( bruce wayne ! )

— gn!reader, bruce is bad at feelings, fluff

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

BRUCE WAYNE isn’t someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. years of training, loss, and responsibility have molded him into a man who values control above all else. to be in control means to rule and to admit he has feelings for you is no small thing—it’s an intrusion to his carefully maintained barriers, a decision he didn’t make lightly. he weighed every possibility, every outcome, because for bruce, love isn’t a fleeting emotion that will pass like the summer breeze; it’s a commitment, a risk he doesn’t take unless he’s one hundred percent certain.

admitting his feelings to himself was the first, and perhaps most challenging, step. for weeks, maybe even months, bruce tried to ignore the way his heart beat faster when you entered the room or the warmth that spread through his veins when you laughed. he convinced himself it was just a feeling of admiration or gratitude for your kindness. but the feelings grew, unrelenting, until they were impossible to ignore. the realization came quietly, in a rare moment of peace; you offered him a genuine smile that felt like sunlight breaking through gotham’s ever-present gloom, and batman felt his high walls of defense crumble at the single sight

that’s when it hit him: he cared for you in a way that terrified him. you were not just someone he enjoyed being around—you’d became someone he couldn’t imagine his life without.

once he acknowledged his feelings, the war inside his mind began. he questioned whether he had the right to bring you into his world, a world full of danger, secrecy, and darkness. he’s haunted by the losses he’d endured, and the thought of you becoming another person he might fail to protect kept him up at night. he told himself it was better to keep his distance, to let you go for your own safety & good. but no matter how hard he tried to pull away, he was drawn back to you, like a moth to a flame

alfred, the butler for the wayne family, noticed the change in his master almost immediately. the older man’s knowing gaze lingered on bruce whenever you were around, a bittersweet smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “you can’t protect yourself from every risk, master wayne,” alfred examined one evening, his tone gentle yet full of wisdom. “some things are worth taking a leap of faith for.”

the fateful night of his confession didn’t come easily. bruce had spent countless nights pacing in the batcave, the words he wanted to say circling in his mind but never forming fully. it took a catalyst to finally push him to act—seeing you with someone else, laughing in a way that felt too intimate, too close. the jealousy caught him off guard, a sharp reminder of how deeply he felt for you

it became impossible for him to hold back. his emotions, usually so carefully contained, spilled over like a dam breaking under the weight of a flood.

you were standing in the grand parlor of wayne manor, the crackling fireplace the only source of light as snow drifted softly outside the tall windows. it was quiet, the kind of stillness that felt almost like a prayer. bruce stood a few feet away, his hands shoved into the pockets of his tailored slacks, his gaze fixed on the fire as though it held answers to questions he’d been wrestling with.

“i’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he said finally, his voice low and steady, though there was an edge of something raw beneath it.

you turned to him, brows furrowing at his tone. “is everything okay?”

he nodded, but his lips pressed into a thin line before he spoke again. “no. not really.” his hands left his pockets, fingers flexing at his sides as if he was bracing himself for a fight. “i’m not very good at this,” he admitted, sharp gaze briefly flicking to yours before returning to the fire.

the vulnerability in his voice took you off guard, and you stepped a little closer, searching his expression for answers. for anything. “good at what?”

“talking about how i feel.” he exhaled sharply, his jaw tightening for a moment as he tried to find the right words. “i’ve spent most of my life . . . closing myself off. building walls to keep people out. it’s easier that way. safer.”

he paused for a moment, his blue eyes finally meeting yours, and the intensity there sent a shiver down your the valley of your spine. “but you . . . you’ve made it impossible to keep those walls up.”

your breath hitched at the back of your throat, and you’re not sure if it was from the weight of his words or the way he was looking at you—as though you were the only person in the world. his world.

“i’ve tried to fight it,” continuing, his voice dropped to a near whisper. “tried to convince myself that it’s better this way. that you deserve someone who can give you the life you want without dragging you into the darkness that comes with mine.” he took a step closer, his movements slow and deliberate, as if he was afraid of scaring you off whether it was by his words or actions. “but no matter how hard i try, i can’t stop thinking about you. about the way you make everything feel . . . lighter. like there’s still hope.”

his confession hung in the air, heavy and charged, as he looked at you with an almost pleading expression. “i care about you. more than i should. more than i ever thought i could.”

bruce hesitated, his hand lifting slightly before falling back to his side, his uncertainty so unlike the confident man you’d came to know. “i don’t expect anything from you. i just . . . i needed you to know.”

[ripdragonbeans]

Love In The Darkest Of Places // modern!Aemond x Reader

Chapter 6: Meeting Her

Summary: You meet Professor Alys Rivers for the first time over dinner.

Warnings: angst

A/N: @exitpursuedbyavulcan is the best beta ever

Chapter 5 // Chapter 7

Aemond’s apartment was just like you thought it would be: simple and to the point. There were few knick-knacks but the ones that held a great deal of value to him. What you noticed, however, was the lack of photos of you and him. In his dorm, there had been countless photos of the two of you decorating the walls. You were absent here.

You sat next to Aemond on the couch in the living room. Not too close though, as much as you wanted to, you couldn't be so close to him without breaking down in your loss.

“I started seeing Alys about two months ago,” Aemond said. He played with his fingernails as he told you his story. “I was lonely and she was nice. She helped me with my work and would actually hold a conversation with me instead of turning away. Alys… filled something that was missing in me, and I welcomed that.”

Aemond’s words stung you to the core. This was all your fault. If you hadn't run away, he wouldn't be with Professor Rivers. “So…Alys.” Her name tasted like coal on your tongue. “You love her?”

He blushed and turned away. “I don't know. I care for her, and she makes me happy. It's nothing like what I felt for you, though.”

Felt. Past tense.

“Why did you come over here, anyway?” He asked you.

It was your turn to blush. “I just…uh...” you didn't know what to say. “I missed you, honestly. I asked Helaena to bring me to you.”

“Oh, okay, cool,” he shrugged. Then he gave you a small smile.

Oh, gods, a smile. You thought you'd never receive one again. “I was stupid,” you blurted. “I came back to tell you I was stupid and I want to give us a chance.”

Aemond blanched. “Oh. That's… oh.”

Silence fell between you.

“I'm so sorry, but I'm with Alys now,” he said carefully. “And I waited for you. I waited for you for years, and you kept denying me, so I decided to move on.”

Tears brimmed in the corners of your eyes. “Is there anything I can do to make this better? To make us better?”

“Support me and Alys. That's the best thing that you could do for me, honestly. I really like her, and I don't want her to get in trouble for being with me. Once we graduate, we’ll be able to be with each other openly, but right now, we need to be quiet about it,” he said. “And I hate it. I really do. I hate having to be quiet about someone I care about.”

“Support you and Alys,” you echoed. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Maybe,” Aemond said hesitantly, “maybe… you’d like to meet her?”

Your eyes widened. There was nothing you wanted to do less than meet her. Could you even do it? Meet the woman who now holds Aemond’s heart? It seemed impossible. Meeting her would mean that you would have to accept that Aemond has moved on.

“Sure, I’d love to,” you said instead.

It was Aemond’s turn to be surprised. “Are you sure? You don’t have to lie to me. I know it would be painful for you.”

“The pain I would feel is nothing compared to what you went through the last many years. I’m sure I can handle it.”

Aemond smiled. It was a true smile. He was genuinely happy. “That’s great, I’ll tell her and we can work out the details.”

“Tell me about her,” you said before you could stop yourself. Wondering what he saw in her was killing you from the inside out.

“She sees me,” he stated simply. “She sees me in a way no one else does. Alys doesn't find my eye patch scary or unsettling. She sees me for me, and I haven't had that since… well, since you left.”

“Aemond, I'm so sorry I left.” You covered his hand with yours.

He didn't pull away.

“I will never leave you again, this I promise. Together forever, Aemond. I made a mistake, and I've never regretted something so much.”

“I told Alys about you. That you're my best friend. She doesn't know that I told you about her. She wants everything to be quiet between us.” He took a breath. “If the school finds out we're seeing each other, she could lose her job. I don't want that for her. You have to keep this secret,” he reiterated.

“I will. I promise it.”

You met Alys the next week. Aemond told you that Alys would take both of you out for dinner at a fancy restaurant called Harrenhal. Unsure of what to wear, you put on a blouse and a jacket paired with nice jeans. Of course, your necklace adorned your collarbone. Nothing too fancy, but not exactly casual either. As you sat in Helaena’s car, nerves tingled all throughout your body.

“I don't want to do this,” you whispered.

Helaena glanced at you, sadness in her eyes. “I know you don't, but it's for the best. I'm so sorry this happened.”

You took a shaky breath. “I did it to myself, Hel.”

“You can do this,” was the last thing she said before you exited her car.

The first person you noticed was Aemond. His silver blond hair was tied up in a bun with a few strands framing his face. He looked uptight, too tense, like something big was going to happen. Seeing him like this made your stomach drop. This wasn't him. He wasn't always this tightly wound.

Next to him was Professor Rivers. Her raven black hair cascaded down her shoulders. Her lips were painted a deep red, and her smokey eyeshadow made it pop even more.

Jealousy coursed through you when you saw her holding his hand. That should be you. Not her.

“Hey, Aemond,” you gave a smile.

His eye lightened when he saw you but only gave you a nod. Your face dropped when he didn't give you his usual smile. When he saw your reaction, he quickly rectified it with a smaller smile. Not his usual one when he saw you but it would have to do.

“So you’re the best friend,” Alys said. “Nice to meet you. I’m Alys Rivers.” She held out a hand for you to shake.

“I know who you are,” you blurted. “I mean,” you cleared your throat. “I mean, I attend the university, Professor Rivers.”

“Oh, Aems didn’t tell me that.” She gave him a side-eye.

Aems. That was your nickname for him, not hers.

Aemond looked at her sheepishly. “She's my best friend, I had to tell her.”

“You didn't have to tell her,” she bit back.

You were quick to come to Aemond’s rescue. “I won't tell anyone, I promise.”

“Hm. Okay.” Alys turned around and led you and Aemond to an open table.

You followed her dutifully as though you had no other option. Alys smiled at the owner of the restaurant as she passed him.

“Ah, Mr. Strong, how nice to see you,” she said before she kissed his cheek.

“Ms. Alys,” he cooed. “It's always great to have you here. Table for two, I presume?”

“Actually, three this time. My new man wanted to introduce me to his…friend.” She said it as though she was less than excited to have this dinner. “And I figured where else would be better than here at Harrenhal?” She gave a dainty laugh and turned to you and Aemond. “Come.”

After twists and turns around tables, Alys finally led you to an empty one. Harenhall was a busy restaurant. Patrons were coming in and out constantly, and they were all dressed their best. You looked down at your jacket and jeans combo and tried to hide behind Aemond. Instinctively, you reached for his hand, but Alys caught you and sent a glare your way. Recoiling immediately, you tucked your hands into your pockets and tried not to cry. There was no way Aemond was actually into this woman. She was so… cold.

When Alys sat down, she patted the chair next to her as though Aemond was a dog to be called. Cheerfully, Aemond sat down next to her and pressed a chaste kiss on her cheek. Alys smiled before taking Aemond’s chin in her hand and devouring him in a harsh kiss. You stood there, unable to move, completely at a loss of words.

Aemond, your best friend, your love, was just pulled into a hot make-out session with his professor/girlfriend in the middle of a fancy restaurant. After a minute of watching them and holding back tears, you coughed awkwardly and sat down.

Alys let out that dainty laugh when she separated from Aemond. “I'm sorry, I just can't get enough of him,” she smiled.

Aemond was flushed, his shirt slightly ruffled. He didn't look at you. He looked straight past you in bliss.

Alys coughed. ���So, tell me about yourself, best friend of my handsome man.”

“I'm a senior at the university, much like Aemond. We've known each other since we were children and have been close ever since. We've been together through thick and thin.” You didn't know why you were going into how close you and Aemond used to be. It was almost as though you wanted to tell her that she will never be what you are to him. “I was there when the big accident happened and I've always been by his side. I -”

“Now, I'm going to stop you right there,” Alys said coldly. “You are lying. At least partly. You're not as close as you said you were. If you were then Aemond must be lying to me. But, I would believe him over you any day. You're not close. Maybe you were once, but not now. No, from what he's told me, you two have drifted far apart.” She laughed. “You didn't even know he moved! Not quite best friend-like, don't you think?”

You clenched your jaw. “Yes, Aemond and I have grown apart, but I still care for him.”

Alys gave you a mocking pout. “You're not his best friend, not anymore, sweetie. That's my role now.”

You gaped at her. “Aemond, you're going to let her talk to me like this?”

Aemond just stared at you. “She's telling the truth, isn't she? We haven't been close since… since you left.”

“And since you left, it was me who came in to save him,” Alys chimed in. “Oh, and what was that little phrase you two say to each other, Aemond?”

Aemond told her?

“Together forever,” he mumbled.

“Yes, that. I don't think you should be saying that to him anymore. You're not a couple. That's me and him. Not you. You broke that promise when you left him.”

After holding back the tears for so long, some finally slipped out. You didn't want to give Alys the satisfaction of your tears, but you couldn't stop them.

“And your necklace. It looks like the sapphire Aemond has.”

You gasped. She's seen Aemond’s sapphire? Does that mean that they’ve… no. You refused to think about it.

“Maybe you shouldn't wear it anymore. If anyone knew what it was they would get the wrong idea. Oh! I have a better one.” Alys smiled cruelly. “You give that necklace to me and all will be okay. Do you know how much it probably hurts him to see you wear a promise that you never followed through with?”

“No!” You all but shouted. Covering the necklace with your hand, you pressed it close to your chest. “It's mine,” you growled. “And yes, I made mistakes that hurt Aemond, but I refuse to be thrown out like I'm nothing.”

“Oh, sweetie, he's not even helping you.”

You looked at him. “Aemond, please,” you begged.

“I'm sorry, but Alys is right. We haven't been close in a long time. I won't make you give your necklace, that's yours. But… we do need to stop saying ‘together forever.’ That’s me and Alys now,” he said.

As you shook your head, more tears fell. “This was never supposed to be a nice dinner, was it?”

Alys sighed. “Well, it was. Then you went and spewed all that shit about being so close with Aemond. I won't stand for that bull. You hurt him. A lot from what he's told me. If it were up to me, I'd cut you off completely, but Aemond doesn't want that. He still values your friendship despite the shit you've put him through.”

“Okay,” you said quietly. “I'll leave.” You took one last look at Aemond, one last goodbye, but he wouldn't even meet your eyes. “Goodbye.” You got up silently and pushed your chair in. Keeping your head held high didn't even cross your mind.

“It's better this way,” you heard Alys say. “She’s not good for you. I am.”

“I was gone for maybe thirty minutes. What happened?” Helaena asked.

You had called her as soon as you left the restaurant. Of course, the weather matched your mood; it was raining. You let the rain wash over you and mingle with your tears.

“He's gone. I'm dead to him, Hel,” you told her. “Please come and pick me up. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere.”

“Stay on the phone with me. I don’t want to leave you alone. I should be there in a few minutes,” Helaena said. “Tell me your full name, where you are, and one thing for each sense.”

She was trying to ground you. Helaena knew you almost as well as Aemond. That thought made its way to the front of your mind and fresh tears ran down your face. You sniffled into the phone.

Helaena’s voice danced in your ear. “Stay with me. Your full name, where you are, and list one thing you can feel, two you can smell, three you can hear, and four you can see.”

After taking a shaky breath, you gave her your full name. “I’m outside Harrenhal,” your voice caught at the name of the restaurant, causing you to whimper. “I can feel the rain running down my body. I smell food and wet pavement. I can hear cars passing by, people talking, and the splashing of puddles as people walk. I can see the rain, the wet trees along the sides of the sidewalk, a colorful umbrella keeping a lady dry, and your blue car pulling up to pick me up.” You smiled a watery smile as Helaena got out of the car and wrapped you into a hug.

“You’re going to be okay. Let’s get you home.”

Getting into the car was difficult. Your body didn’t want to move. Eventually, you were able to make it in. Normally, when you’re in a car, you look out the window. That wasn’t the case this time. You refused to look at the place where your heart was torn out. So instead, you closed your eyes and leaned against the window as Helaena drove off. If you had looked out the window, you would have seen Aemond, watching you leave.

The drive home was silent except for your occasional sniffles. You couldn’t stop crying. Every time you thought you were done, a new thought would enter your head and a new wave of tears would begin its flow.

Once Helaena pulled up at the apartment, she opened the door for you and helped you out. You were completely numb. You didn’t want to do anything. Nothing felt right anymore. You had no energy.

Once you were in the apartment, Helaena walked you to your bed. She helped you out of your soaked clothes and carefully got you in your pajamas. Once you were in new clothes she wrapped you up in blankets. “I’ll be right back,” she said before she left the room.

Alone, your thoughts spiraled.

He hates you.

He chose someone else over you.

And that someone has convinced him that everything you’ve been through was fake.

Helaena returned with a cup of hot chocolate. She encouraged you to hold it and take a sip. “Tell me all what happened,” she gently said.

“I met Alys,” you said between sniffles. “She’s so cold and fake. I don’t know what Aemond sees in her. She’s manipulating him. I know she is. How? I don’t know.” You took a sip of your hot chocolate. It was warm, and a feeling of comfort washed over you. “She basically told me I needed to stay away from him; that I’m not his best friend anymore. She tried to take my necklace, Hel!”

“She what?”

“She told me that wearing the necklace hurt Aemond and that I should give it to her instead.”

“What did Aemond do?” Helaena asked.

“He said that I should stop wearing it, but that I could keep it. But,” you stopped to take a breath. “Alys also said that we need to stop saying ‘together forever,’ that it was her who was now together forever with him. Not me.” Your voice broke. “And Aemond agreed with her.” Breaking down into tears again, you set the cup of hot chocolate down and curled up tighter in your blankets.

Helaena hugged you. “I’m so sorry. He’s being stupid,” she said. “I don’t know what’s going on in his head, but it isn’t right. He’s always looked at you with so much love and cared for you like no other.”

You shook your head. “Not anymore, Hel. He made that very clear.”

“He’s an idiot. He’ll pull his head out of his ass and see Alys for who she truly is soon.” She pulled away from the hug. “Now, though, it’s time for you to get some rest.”

“Will you sleep here?” you blurted out. “I just… I don’t want to be alone.”

Helaena gave you a soft look. “Of course.” She climbed into the bed and wrapped her arms around you.

And with that, you fell into sleep, wrapped in the arms of your friend.

When you woke up, Helaena was gone but you didn’t worry. You could hear her singing as she made breakfast. You felt a bit lighter since falling asleep, but there was still a weight on your chest.

Your heart ached for Aemond. There is no one in the world you wanted more than him. You missed Aemond; it was plain and simple. You missed your best friend. Most of all, you missed what could have been.

“I brought you breakfast,” came Helaena’s voice from the doorway. “I grabbed you some orange juice, and I made pancakes.”

When Helaena offered the plate of food and the cup of juice, you gratefully accepted it. Eating took effort. It was like you had to encourage your body to move and go through the actions. If you let yourself go on autopilot, you would just stop. You knew better than to let that happen. You had to keep going.

“I think I'm gonna call tomorrow a mental health day,” you told Helaena as you finished up your breakfast.

“That's a good idea. You could go to class but you wouldn't retain anything with how you're feeling,” Helaena agreed.

You sighed, clinking the forks on the plate. “I'm at a loss of what to do. I'll rest tomorrow, but I can't do nothing forever.”

“No, you can't. What we can do,” Helaena started, “is take today and tomorrow to rest and reevaluate everything.”

“Yeah, I like that.” You gave your friend a smile. “Thank you for the breakfast, Hel.”

After you returned your breakfast dishes to Helaena and she left your room, you got up to get ready for the day. At your vanity, you stared at that sapphire necklace. Alys was right. It hurt Aemond every time you wore it. A broken promise. For the first time since you lost it those years ago, you didn't put it on.

Days went by, and you heard nothing from Aemond. Granted, you didn't really try to reach out to him either. You were at a standstill.

Attending classes had gotten somewhat better. Aemond was no longer actively avoiding you but he wasn't making any effort to see or interact with you either. One day, you tried to talk to him but then Alys showed up and glared at you until you walked away. Aemond didn't see her.

Defeated, you walked through the stairwells of one of the college buildings, not wanting to take the elevator. While trudging up the stairs, you heard moans. You prepared yourself to find Aemond again, heart already hurting. But there were more sounds this time. The sound of bodies hitting bodies. A fast pace, a rhythmic pace.

Your stomach dropped at the potential sight of seeing Aemond fuck Alys, but it was too late to turn around now.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes as you took the last steps.

“Oh fuck,” it was Alys who moaned. You knew it was her. It was the same sultry voice.

“Fuck, I'm gonna come.”

That wasn't Aemond's voice.

Your eyes shot open and widened.

Alys was cheating on Aemond.

What you saw in front of you was Alys pressed against the wall by some other guy. Her skirt was pulled all the way up, and her blouse and hair were ruffled. Her lover’s pants were pulled down low enough to free his cock but was otherwise clothed. He was aggressively pounding into her, and her face was contorted in bliss.

“Fuck!” She shrieked in pleasure.

The nameless guy thrust into her one last time, emptying inside her.

Alys turned around and grabbed the guy into a bruising kiss. When she separated, she pulled her skirt down and looked at you.

“Be a dear and don't tell Aemond, sweetie. Not that he'd believe you.” Alys winked at you before pressing another kiss to her lover and walking down and out of the stairwell.

You stared at the guy, and he winked at you. “Want to be next?”

“No, I'm good.” And with that, you left the stairwell and went to class.

The next time you had class with Aemond you made sure you stopped him.

“Aemond! Wait up!” You called to him.

There was no Alys this time to stop you. Aemond looked around, confused, but relaxed a bit when he saw it was you calling his name. It had been a while but you've always been able to put him at ease.

“Wanna walk and talk? It's been a while,” you said when he caught up to you.

“Yeah, sure,” he gave you a smile.

Gods, your heart warmed with that smile.

“I miss you, you know? I've missed my…” you hesitated. “Friend. I tried to reach out to you, Aemond, I really did.”

Aemond looked guilty. “At first, I was ignoring you,” he admitted. “I couldn't handle the heartbreak of you not choosing me, of leaving me. And then Alys came along. When I told her about everything between you and me, she suggested that I block you. So I did.”

You scoffed. “So quick to listen to her.”

“She was there for me when you weren't!”

“If you didn't block me, I would have been there sooner! If you responded to me I would have been with you. We could have been together, Aemond!”

“But we aren't. I'm with Alys, and you're -” he gestured to all of you “- you.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I don't doubt you'll find someone. Someone is out there for you.”

“...You, Aemond. That person is you.”

“We don't know that! Maybe I was at one point, but I'm not anymore. I'm Alys’.”

You shook your head. “No, please don't say that. Don't leave me, Aemond.”

“I'm not leaving you. I'm letting you go.”

He grasped your hands and a shock rippled through you. He hasn't touched you since… you don't even remember when.

“Find someone who is good for you. For some reason, that couldn't be me, no matter how badly I wanted to be. Alys…she's good for me. She's not as good as you could have been, but she cares.”

“Aemond,” you hesitated to tell him what you saw. “Aemond…she's cheating on you. I caught her with another student fucking in a stairwell.”

Aemond lost all color in his face. “You're lying. Alys cares about me. She’d never do that. She loves me.”

“Do you love her back?”

“I… I don't know. But no, she couldn't have cheated on me. She promised me there was no one else but me.” He started playing with his fingernails.

“You can talk to her, but she's going to deny it.”

“Because it's not true!” He yelled. “No, you're lying.”

“Aemond, I would never lie to you. You know that.”

He looked at you with a tear falling out of his good eye. “But you've broken promises. That's just as bad.”

“You know I never meant to hurt you,” you pleaded.

It was Aemond’s turn to scoff. “That's what they all say, you know? No one meant to hurt me; it was all a mistake. I'm done with that.” He looked at you and schooled his face into something hard. “I think you need to go. We shouldn't be near each other.”

“Aemond, you can't mean that.” Tears fell down your cheeks. “Please don't shut me out like this. I'm telling you this because I care about you, and I don't want you to get hurt!”

“You have to let go of me. I let go of you. We both know it's better this way.” Aemond sighed. “You can delete my number. You're still blocked on my phone, and I won't be changing that.”

“Aemond…” your voice broke.

“I gotta go. I'll see you in class.” He pushed by you and walked briskly ahead of you.

You waited for him to look back.

He never did.

[myheroblogs]

Man, the whole thing with Yoichi and Kudou parting ways is a bit more heartbreaking if you consider the fact that just moments before, Yoichi had to deal with the death of his brother.

Despite everything that he has done, despite everything that has happened, Yoichi still loved his brother. Even though his brother was cruel, he still acknowledges that AFO took care of him when there was no one else. All they had was each other.

His anger in ch 193 wasn't done out of hate, but concern for his brother. Like how a loved one would get angry when they recognize you doing something that isn't good for your well-being.

Nana and Yoichi are in the same position, both having their close relatives on the villain side, but while Tenko has the hope of being saved, AFO is far gone. And while Yoichi has long accepted this, that doesn't mean he won't be affected by the loss of his brother.

We saw Yoichi's expression when AFO gets defeated. People talk about it being a "bombastic side eye", but to me, it's more so sorrowful.

Not long afterwards, we have Yoichi talk like this:

"Don't cling to sentimentality"

"Bringing down Tomura Shigaraki is our reason for still existing"

Yoichi was silently trying to process his brother's death here. Alone. Not even Kudou knows.

And not long after the death of your only family, you're forced to say goodbye to the one person who would still be there for you after all that? The very first person who valued you as a fellow human being?

Damn, I'd break down and cry too.

On a side note, some people are unhappy that the OFA Users are often calling the shots here. But am I the only one who noticed that Yoichi's the only one who doesn't do this at all?

Yoichi's the one who interacted with Midoriya the least. He's the only OFA User who actually doesn't tell Midoriya what to do. The only times he came out to interact with him was whenever he feels like Midoriya's life could be in danger, or that time when he tried to reassure him in Ch 193.

Even when trying to cope with his brother's death, starting to give up on the whole "saving" thing, he never really came out to talk to Midoriya to try to change his mind. He's only in the OFA space the entire time with the other users.

Yoichi doesn't say anything cause he just trusts Midoriya to make the calls. (Hence his "this fight has long been passed to the successors") But he also trusts the other users, so he lets them do their thing.

He's also the one who humanises Tomura, calling him a "successor" like Midoriya, making him an equal. En later calls him out on this, saying the opposite.

Yoichi's the best OFA vestige and he deserves the entire world. Gives this man a darn break. T_T

[shanastoryteller]

Thanks so much for telling me that it deleted 😅

Um happy birthday! I was actually gonna ask for time travel drarry this time 😂

Thanks again and have a great day!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4

They’re cautiously moving their way though the chamber, Draco letting him lead with only a minimum of arguing. Harry likes to think that the fact he’s a parselmouth, an auror, and has been here before is compelling, but honestly he thinks Draco agreed just so Harry would be eaten first if something goes wrong.

“You shouldn’t be doing this,” Harry can’t help but say, “we shouldn’t be doing this, I guess, but you started it. We shouldn't be changing anything, especially this far in the past. Who knows what it could mess up?”

Draco scoffs. “Again, how do you think we’re going to make things worse? What sort of future are you worried about preserving anyway?”

“Things are good, now,” he says, and wants to check Draco’s expression but can’t bring himself to stop looking around corners for the first hint of the basilisk.

“For who?” Draco presses. “I don’t know what war you lived through, but the one I did was complete shit.”

“And you could make it even worse by meddling!” he insists. Talking is also probably a bad idea, but with his luck it’ll be his first tell that the basilisk is near by – that he starts hissing rather than speaking. “Things could have gone even more to shit, and now they might, because of you!”

Draco snorts. “Typical. You know, some people actual value the things they lose, and aren’t exactly eager to lose them again.”

Harry stops moving and Draco nearly walks into him before he realizes it. He whirls around, now shoving his wand in Draco’s face. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Just because you’re a cliché doesn’t mean you have to throw a fit about it. Clichés are clichés for a reason, after all,” he says in a tone that Harry thinks is actually supposed to be soothing.

He’s not in the mood to be soothed. “I value what I lose.”

“No, you don’t. Your tragedy is tragic, Harry, but it’s not special. All you do is lose so you can’t linger on it. Parents, homes, friends – what’s it mean to lose them to you? You’ve lost them all, multiple times, and you’re just fine.” Draco makes a face, then shrugs. “For a given definition. Because you never think any of it is yours to keep, so the loss can’t hurt as much. Which is fine for you, and all your fucked up problems, but I’m not like you. What I lost is important to me and I’m not fine about it and I’m going to do whatever I can to get it back.”

It's the cruelest thing Draco’s ever said to him and the worst part is how he says it, irritated but casual, like it’s something unremarkable about him that’s obvious to everyone.

Maybe it is.

No wonder he could never get passed the third date with anyone.

Draco crouches down, yanking him against the wall. Harry’s surprised enough to let him. “Do you hear that?”

He almost says no automatically but he takes a second to try and hear something over their breathing.

Well, looks like they found the basilisk.

[woodlaflababab]

Thinking about Aang and Iroh and their parallels when it comes to Zuko.

I mean, they are such similar characters and one of my biggest regrets with the show is that we only get one scene with the two of them interacting. That's a damn shame. Even just beyond the fact that they're both wise, humorous, and centered on peace (though they have different ways to go about it), they both have two distinct and very different parts of their lives.

Iroh has the beginning of his life, which was centered around training to be Firelord and fighting a war, and then after Lu Ten died, where he gave up all of that and pursued something very different.

Aang has the beginning of his life which was about peace and childhood (and mastering his element) and then after he woke from the iceberg in which he was thrown into the world and his role as the avatar.

And it is these events that bring them to Zuko. Without them, neither of them would have had the relationship with Zuko that they do, Aang wouldn't even know him.

For both of them, Zuko reminds them of a loved one they lost (one in which they feel even a little bit responsible for that loss) Lu Ten and Kuzon, and to both of them, Zuko is one of the things that lessen the tragedy they went through. Iroh learns to love Zuko as one of his own and Zuko becomes one of Aang's best friends (each having Zuko fill the place of the person they lost.) (Aang even explicitly says one of the bright sides of the iceberg was the new people he gets to meet. "I did get to meet you." - Aang @ Katara)

They also both relate to and understand Zuko even if Zuko doesn't recognize that. Iroh understands being caught up in the fire nation propaganda and chasing an idea. (Honor for Zuko, Glory for Iroh.) Aang understands the pain of being ripped from your home and understands the way pain can drive you to do things you would never dream of doing otherwise.

They both are endlessly forgiving of Zuko. No matter how many insults Zuko throws at Iroh, no matter how much fire Zuko throws at Aang, they refuse to stop caring for him. Iroh in the form of standing by his side and Aang in the form of saving his ass again and again and offering him friendship.

Honestly, I think part of Zuko's frusteration with Katara's very reasonable unwillingness to forgive him as soon as he does something right is because he's a little bit spoiled on the forgiveness he has always gotten from Iroh and Aang. (And I also think Katara's resistance makes Zuko appreciate her forgiveness and thus their forgiveness so much more, especially when Iroh immediately forgives him once again at the end.)

It is Iroh's and Aang's patience and virtue that allow Zuko to grow and become the person he becomes. They are the two biggest influences on his change and both their influences are so similar in many ways. Iroh stands on the inside never leaving Zuko's side and Aang stands on the outside constantly offering a place by his own side.

I don't think it is a coincidence that Zuko had to lose Iroh's help and forgiveness to realize he needs to seek Aang's help and forgiveness.

Both of them have made mistakes with Zuko. Both had a phase where they realized they needed to turn their back on Zuko because of the pattern of behavior he's shown (dispite him trying to show different levels of repentance) and both welcome Zuko in once he has made it clear that behavior has ended and his change is true. Both love him, not because of what he's done, but because he has inherent value as a person and because they know deep down there is something good inside him.

Both of their relationships with Zuko are beautiful.

[miasmaghoul]

I just, I don't even know what to say

W O W

Ok, serious chat for a moment. Warnings for mentions of an ED and medical mistreatment.

It's so frustrating to still see shit like this when I grew up in the days of fat free everything and Weight Watchers ads every 5 minutes on TV.

Why is it fat people that everyone agrees to dogpile on? We're bullied incessantly for something that a lot of us can't even fix or help, because people who AREN'T fat assume we're just lazy pigs. Like yeah, please just disregard my physical debility and MULTIPLE hormonal issues and just assume that I just shovel food into my mouth constantly. Oh, you say I can't have an eating disorder because I'm fat and "those people" are skinny? BOY DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU!

It's bullshit, full stop. I still struggle with my ED, but the older I've gotten the more open and honest with myself I've become. I've never sought treatment for it because, again, I'm still fat. The one time I did bring it up to a doctor, he said "well if you do have an eating disorder then you aren't doing a very good job." I wish I were making that up.

Fat is in my genes, and there are so many other contributing factors it isn't even funny. It's so pounded into our heads that we NEED to be thin (mostly targeting women, let's be real) in order to have value, and I'm so fuckin sick of still hearing about the latest severely unhealthy fad diet or what fucking celebrity is on ozempic.

Which, by the way, I did have pushed on me a couple years ago when regular people could still get their hands on it. It made me feel so much worse. Every dose would trigger a binge, and I would feel horrible for days afterwards. I told my doctor (different from the other one I mentioned) this, and she told me that it was just something I was going to have to deal with because look, you've lost 20lbs since your last visit!

I felt worse than I had in YEARS, but it didn't matter because my body was becoming more socially acceptable. Do you want to know how many times doctors have tried to shove weight loss surgery down my throat? Countless. No matter how many times I say I'm not even there to talk about my weight, and that those surgeries are NOT for me, someone always brings it up. It's crazy how hurtful being ignored for knowing your own body is, because someone else thinks you need to change.

I wish this was something I had figured out when I was younger, but alas. I wore a hoodie over my clothes for 6 years straight, regardless of how hot it was outside, just to try to hide. I made myself miserable, ate barely anything (which would just trigger a binge, of course) and had it beat into my head constantly that my weight was the most important thing about me.

Here's the thing it took me way too long to learn:

IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER

You know what the number on the scale is? It's just a number. Your weight, high or low, is simply a tiny part of who you are as a human. If others choose to judge you based on it, that's not a failure on your part. It's on theirs. Being fat is not a crime, nor is it deserving of the insults and sneers we get in public spaces. People will always find a reason to stare, to whisper and giggle, and the best thing you can do for yourself is not give them the time of day.

I realize that's not easy. It's taken me 30+ years to reach a point where I've realized that going out in public is a necessity, and that the only reason I think people are staring at me is because advertisements like this punched the concept into my fragile little mind as a kid. At the end of the day, this is the one thing all fat people need to know:

Being fat is not a moral failure.

There is nothing wrong with you just because you need bigger clothes, mobility aids, or help from others. I don't care what anyone says - your weight is no one's business but your own. You want to lose weight? Go for it! More power to you, you'll get nothing but support from me. But there's nothing wrong with not wanting to do that either. That's really what it comes down to - the assumption that there's something inherently wrong with us because we're bigger than other people.

That's the part that needs to stop. And if anyone ever needs a reminder, my asks are always open. You're beautiful, I promise. 💜

Thank you for coming to my TED talk lmao

(I'm sure some asshole anons will come at me for "glorifying obesity" or "promoting unhealthy lifestyles". I assure you I am not. I am simply trying to help normalize a different mindset. If you're upset that fat people exist and that I'm saying they deserve the same care and compassion as anybody else, then you need to do a little bit of internal examination there. I promise fat people have not hurt you by virtue of existing in larger bodies ♡)

[qiutls]

TNGDH 010

The first day of the Northern festival dawned.

It was noisy all over the place. I woke up early in the morning and sat up on the sawdust with uneven hair.

I'd love to sleep more, but I had a lot of work to do. First of all, it was necessary to increase the miracle value to further increase the duration time of "Summon."

I'm at a loss on how to fill up the remaining percent, but at least I know I can't fill them in this house filled with damn mealworms and crickets.

Yeah, let's go out.

It is also good to go out and grasp the atmosphere of the castle, and check what happens in < Heart of Winter > at this time. And if possible, I may change some of the events and slightly raise the miracle value.

I only have 30 minutes a day, I really need to use it well…

[ Should I use "Summon" now? (｡❛ᴗ❛｡) ]

'No!'

Not now, I don't have any clothes!

Ugh, but there's no better time to go out than now. It has only been 10 minutes since Kyle went to survey the castle for the festival. It would take an hour to complete one roundtrip.

If only there's other clothes available, except for the clothes the magicians picked up…

'Ah! That's right!'

Just then, a wonderful thought came to mind.

The space where Sen found me and chatted along with the other maids. It was the place where they do laundry. In other words, I can get the clothes that servants wore.

Let's just get one of out the pile. Even if it's a bit uncomfortable to know that someone has already worn it, it's way better than being naked.

You never know, I might be able to wear a sleek, and well-washed butler's uniform… Don't you think it'll look good on me?

I had a pleasant imagination in my own way before using "Summon" in the corner of the room.

[ Good luck! (ෆ`꒳´ෆ) ]

*

However, there was another problem that I've never anticipated.

"I've really lived…"

Originally, life was something you were supposed to know when you've actually lived once, but if you were going with this kind of development, you should at least give me a preview.

I sat with my legs spread out on the stone steps in the corner and put my elbows on my knees. And with an infinitely gloomy look on my face, I stared at the maid's uniform in amazement.

"….."

I should have expected, all the people gathered then were maids. There was no such thing as the butler's uniformed I imagined earlier. Shirts, vests, pants, and shoes are nowhere to be found.

The best I could find was an ankle-length black skirt and an ornamental white apron, and for now, it was the only clothes I could choose.

I screamed silently ruffling my hair with my hands, how can I walk around like this! What do you mean I have to wear maid clothes, I'm a man!

"What's the difference between this and running around naked!"

[ Do you want me to turn off "Summon"? ]

No, don't! That's not what I meant. On second thought, this is not that bad. It's warm and I can move freely, it's even a bit nice… Damn it.

"It's hard to make ends meet."

With this outfit, it's best not to be caught by maids. No, it's best not to be seen by anyone. Hey system, do you have any transparency skills? I'm going crazy here.

Even though I hated it, I had to move anyways. I only have half an hour a day, I need to make the most out of it. I shook myself and went downstairs.

"It would be nice if we could hold the banquet sooner."

"What kind of clothes will do you think His Highness will wear this time?"

"Do you think there'll be more people than last year?"

I tactfully intermingled with servants here and there and heard stories of this and that.

The Northern festival is held only once a year, and it lasts for a week starting from the day when the night is the longest that year. It was no exaggeration to say that it was the grandest even held at the Blake's estate.

The usually dull and cold Blake Castle was now animated and people kept bringing in food from the storage. You can see that the merchants also brought a full carriage. 'Indeed, a festival is a festival.'

The last memory of a festival I remember in my old life was drinking makgeolli at the university festival and suffering from a massive hangover the next day.

At that time, key information suddenly fell into my ears.

"I hope this year goes by without any problems…"

"That's what I'm saying, why am I so nervous? Last year, aristocrats who were in favor of the prince came and bothered me, but this time apparently, the prince himself will attend the banquet."

"Is the rumor really true?"

"Is the prince really coming personally here in the North?"

I crept up behind them with my ears perked up. Of course, I didn't forget to use the broom I got to pretend to sweep across the floor and move.

They went into the banquet hall, loaded with goods, and soon began to decorate the place with flowers and moved the tables around the central dance hall.

"I know right, when this land was a wasteland, he didn't care, even when his subjects asked for his help."

"But since Lord Kyle came, things have improved remarkably. Didn't they say, the reason why the prince never came even thought there was a festival here every year, is because of the bad relationship between brothers? Isn't that the famous story?"

"They sent him to die, but he didn't. Tsk. Tsk."

"Apparently, His Highness Belial will also come, along with the previous Serena, who's on bad terms with Duke Kyle. Their age difference is also…"

the one on bad terms with Kyle is Belial and not the previous Serena, which is a different Serena from Sen​

Oh yeah, this is the kind of gossip I want to hear.

'As expected, people who are preparing for the banquet, know the most.'

I should get closer to them, let's step around these servants who are contemplating what to do with the old chandelier, and try to hear more information…

"Woah! That scared me!"

Just in time, the worker who was complaining about the old and loose chandelier ring, turned around and our eyes met.

Wow, you have a really loud voice, thanks to you I was surprised and almost jumped.

"Wait a minute… I don't think I've seen you here before."

… Oh dear.

The skill "Summon" uses my original form and face. I don't know how the system brought my life's data into this world, because if I asked it would never shut up, but right now this person is seeing a face it has probably never seen before, a Korean's face.

In other words, it's a face that doesn't fit this world.

I turned around as naturally as possible and kept sweeping.

​Just be natural…

"Hey you!"

It felt like my joints were squeaking whenever I moved.

Indeed, I have zero talent for acting. During the school festival, I always played the role of a tree or a stone. Of course, I didn't want to play that role but for some reason, everyone left it up to me.

The man who looked at me suspiciously, tried to reach for me. But just before he reached my shoulder, I started to move.

I don't care about acting or anything, I just know if I get caught here, it's the end.

"Hey system, how many minutes are left for the skill?"

[ "Summon" will end in 7 minutes. ]

There's less than 10 minutes left.

I can just run until the skill ends.

"Isn't that, that guy?"

It's just your imagination. It can't be you'll know it's me from looking at the shoulders and the height right?

"I'm going crazy."

I only had those clothes to wear. What was I supposed to do in that situation, technically I'm a victim too.

"Wasn't it a few days ago, a guy sneaked into the Lord's study and event took his shirt?"

"Ho, is he that.."

"There, that brown haired guy, just stand there and don't move!"

Ah, I can't hear you. I can't hear anything.

I started fast, almost as if I were running. The soles of my feet felt so cold and numb, but I couldn't help it, there were only socks in the laundry room and no shoes.

'I feel so uncomfortable, I'll wash my hands and feet as soon as I get there.'

This time, after washing my feet, I'll turn the bowl over instead of leaving the dirty water inside, or else they won't change it to new water.

I left the banquet hall, climbed a floor, and fled frantically to the left corridor, it's been a long time since I threw away the broom I held.

'I should've worked out.'

I overestimated the physical strength of an office worker. But at least, I wasn't as weak as before since I rode a wheel desperately to become human.

Thump.

"… Ah!"

I bumped into someone as soon as I turned around the corner of the hallway. You're lucky I'm letting you off the hook today.

"Sorry-"

Obviously I was walking quite quickly but this person didn't even move a bit when we collided, yet I bounced back like a ball.

"Are you okay?"

His voice, low and grave, a voice I'm quite familiar with.

… That's right, it's a voice I hear everyday.

'I'm doomed.'

[ Kyle Jane Minehardt. The Great Duke of Blake. ]

I know. I know. You don't have to tell me.

I turned around and looked at him.

It hasn't even been seven minutes yet and it was weird to end the skill right in front of him. You said I'd be lucky enough to become human? Are you sure it's luck or bad luck?!

[ (◐▽◐);;; ]

'Fuck it.'

I started running away from Kyle and he started chasing me.

​His heavy boots banged on the floor and sounded loudly as he approached me. It was like a horror movie. I kept running like before, yet he was just walking. The distance between us gradually got less and less.

"Hey."

I don't know what to do. I'm never running away from him again. When I looked back secretly, his shadow was hanging around my feet.

'….. Crazy'

He's not the Duke of the North for no reason.

Now I really started to give my all into running. The ankle-long skirt started to get in the way, so I held them up with my hands to move my legs easily.

Ah, shit, I don't even have shoes. What kind of situation is this!

"Stop."

'I don't think I will.'

I gasped and tried to breathe in as much air as possible and squeezed out the last drop of my strength to ran further away. When Kyle saw I didn't listen to his orders, he also started following me quickly.

Why are his steps so big? If you're tall, you do everything bigger is that it? How can you make me feel this miserable?

Step. Step. Step.

The sound of bare feet running like crazy and the sound of boots irregularly stepping on the floor. I felt all the emotions I was bottling rise up as I continued to run on the cold floor.

Hey! Stop following me! It's time to give up.

[ "Summon" will end in 1 minute. ]

I shouldn't disappear suddenly today, and it should bring me back to the hamster house once the time is up…

he's talking about the hamster form

Before I knew it, Kyle was right behind me, at this rate, he'll catch up even before a minute passes.

I ran all the way here with the thought of being able to escape, but now it seems like I can't help it. But it seems like I have no choice but to wait for the skill to end and recall back to the hamster house.

Running straight down the corridor, I turned towards the stairs and went down the steps.

"Uh…"

​My body leaned forward greatly as I was about to fall when a large hard pulled my arm and causing me to sway back into the ground.

I turned around and saw the owner of the hand, I looked at Kyle with my eyes wide open. My heart was already falling down the stairs, yet my body was held in place with his hand.

"Who are you?"

I can't answer if you ask like that.

[ "Summon" will end in 10 seconds. ]

'It's almost time anyways.'

​You're right system, there's no such thing as bad luck.

I laughed and held onto Kyle's arm but still not straightening my tilted body. I wasn't intent on making a good impression. So, I spoke in a sarcastic tone.

Who am I? Me?

"I'm your companion-"

note that companion used here can mean a lot of things, can be friend, associate, partner or even lover, Soohyun was going to say "I'm your companionship hamster" but it got cut off XD

​Just then the 10 seconds was up and white light came out of my body. Kyle frowned at the blinding light that flashed before his eyes.

And the me that was covered in that light, became a hamster.

… Who was back in the hamster house.

―…….

I turned my head around and looked at the familiar sawdust and the transparent glass and the duke's study.

Hey, if you're gonna take me back! Take me back after I finished my words! How can you end it before I could say I was a companionship pet. A pet!

​I jumped in anger and threw myself on the floor. Great, now not only am I a clothes thief, I'm now a pervert who dresses as a woman and confessed to the Grand Duke.

― Squeak! [ Ahhh! ]

I think it's better to keep living as a hamster. Right? Right. Should I just live like this? That thought easily vanished as I saw the bowl full of mealworms.

Kyle's POV

The flash slowly died down and Kyle opened his eyes. His view was still blurred, perhaps because it was directly hit by the light earlier, but fortunately there was no difficulty in identifying the object in his hands.

The problem was, there was only clothes and the man who had just been in his hands was gone.

A unique face, and thin brown hair that have never appeared in this land. And such light weight, that he was able to hold the man with one hand.

All that disappeared in an instant and all that was left was the maid uniform that he was wearing.

"… Is he a magician?"

But when he disappeared, he didn't seem to chant any incantations. Rather, the last words he said before he disappeared was that he was my 'companion'.

Above all, I definitely saw him for the first time today, yet I felt a strange sense of familiarity. Even though no one I know has no hobby of dressing as a woman.

Kyle raised his eyebrows and picked up the clothes properly. Even when he said he was my companion, why did I just stay still and keep holding his arm.

"I'll find you…"

Even if what you said was just nonsense, I want to find you again.

T/N: this part of the novel is illustrated and made into a promo which you can find in the masterpage for this novel. tysm for everyone who's reading this! and thank you for all the likes, follow and ko-fis <3

novel ⠀✿⠀ next

[oskidontle]

Heya just discovered your AU recently and I'm really enjoying it I have some questions though 1. how did this start off? Like how did the hunger start manifesting and what were the very first signs? 2. is Mr boss evil? 3. what do the others think of the fact that pim starves himself of flesh? Do they encourage him to eat Orr? 4. Can they still eat normal food? And if so do they have like a strong adversion to it orr? 5. Who did the hunger take the biggest toll on mentally 6. Are you planning on making some sorta comic or some other to tell your story I'm pretty sure there's a story here but mabye I'm wrong idk 7. How'd you come up with the designs for their hunger forms and the AU in general?

OG AU Post for the confused

1. The very first signs are subtle enough no one notices, not even themselves. The only evidence something is off is animals start to steer clear. Maybe they sense something more instinctual, feral, about their aura? Scent maybe? However it is, animals with their superior senses know something is wrong.

They didn't start noticing anything themselves until they started to see things in the mirror for just slight glimpses. Glimpses of something but they could never make out what.

It's only days from there when the cravings start. But many times someone can crave something and not know what it is they crave until they find it. As you can imagine, because of this, each of their first hunts were unexpected. As such, people can get caught in the crossfire. Important people.

It was unlucky that Pim had to learn what he was craving when he did.

2. Mr. Boss is not evil. But he has a job to do, one that he has been tending to for many years. 18 years to be precise. He hopes to complete his job soon enough.

3. Allan and Glep care but they don't try to stop him. Instead they just check up on him often, bring some drinks, normal food. They don't really know how to approach him in a way they perceive as meaningful.

Charlie despite his desperation for a way to fix all of it still encourages Pim to eat. He reasons with him that there is no point in Pim or any of them starving themselves. After all it always ends the same way, a loss of control and an inevitable rampage. Why loose control and possibly hurt someone you don't want to hurt, when at the very least the hunt let's you know the victim ahead of time.

It's not much of a compensation. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Unfortunately it's his own choice at the end of the day.

4. They can eat normal food, in fact they still have to. The Hunger has just added another part to their diet that their body perceives as crucial for survival.

5. That's hard to answer, depends on what you put value on in this toll. In my opinion I'd say it's either Glep or Pim.

6. Maybe, maybe not. If I'm honest I don't know yet. I might make occasional snippets of moments I imagine happening. They wouldn't be in chronological order, just whenever I feel like making them. If I don't make a master post later on then I would leave the chronological order left for any interested to piece together using context clues I leave throughout different posts.

Like I said, this is a big maybe. Ideally I would make a fic but I have never been able to finish a single chapter of a fic in my life. I loose focus too easy.

I have a story to tell but I suppose I haven't decided how I want to tell it

7. If you want me to be truly honest, I didn't think that much. I built lore after designs. I wanted them each to have a sort of gimmick going on while being kinda cohesive simultaneously. I also knew I didn't want to go with a hyper detailed or overly realistic look.

In-universe they probably look terrifying but to you or I, they look just kinda uncanny. A little gross.

After making the initial designs I started to come up with lore and adjusted details accordingly.

As for why I came up with it?

Two words: For fun! :)

[isan0rt]

Jumping off this post, I feel like I see a lot of posts espousing their love for Dedue in general terms but I very rarely see content on Tumblr that actually engages with the complexities of his character (Pixiv is better about this tbh). And don't get me wrong, I love seeing Dedue content of all types. But often I see him relegated to ‘He’s a cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve to have to be involved in this so I put him in a nice coffeeshop or bakery AU where he can be happy in a mundane way.” And like. I get how that can be a big wish fulfillment thing for some fans, and am not unilaterally knocking it.

But I also…feel like sometimes doing this is about removing Dedue from the narrative in a way that means fans don’t have to sit with the discomfort of actually engaging with the themes he brings to the table.

It’s easy to just say “oh he’s too good for this narrative, too pure” and put him on a bus that looks like a twee little flower shop, because it means that you don’t have to engage with the fact that he is also just as emotionally damaged as the other Lions. You don’t have to engage with the ways in which he is gentle and kind by nature but choosing, of his own volition, to be part of the violence of the war effort because it means something to him. You don’t have to engage with the fact that he is subjected to constant racism in the academy phase by his own teammates, and that he grits his teeth and bears it because he is trying to accomplish something. That he is intentionally making himself the face of Duscur and choosing not to retaliate even though he would be WELL within his rights, because he is on an uphill PR campaign and Felix and Ingrid are the people he has to bring around, because they are the people the king he’s backing needs in his corner to restore Duscur without just getting immediately overthrown by his own lords. The Western lords have done it before! Without the Eastern lords’ backing, Dimitri will barely get to warm the throne before his head is rolling in the mud like his father’s.

If Dedue quits and just goes and opens a cute little restaurant somewhere, you don’t have to grapple with the fact that he loves Dimitri personally, but the political situation means he cannot just be his friend. Dimitri doesn’t get it. Dimitri wants to get it. Dimitri wants to snap his fingers and make Faerghus respect Dedue like he does, recognize Duscur’s innocence like he does. Dedue understands it will never work that way. He understands that the closer he appears to Dimitri, the more biased Dimitri will appear to the people who are determined to hate Dedue and everyone like him, and the easier it will be to dismiss him. Dedue knows that the prejudice of the people of Faerghus can’t just be wiped away so easily; he knows that it’s not rational, that there’s not any basis for it, and so declaring their innocence is not going to work like Dimitri expects.

But at the same time, Dedue knows Dimitri is the only fucking person in Faerghus with any kind of political power who gives the slightest fuck about reparations to Duscur, and if he dies, Dedue’s people will never see justice. Rufus will simply make it all go away, whatever way is the most convenient. The exact same way he made Lambert and his reforms and his peace treaty go away; with murder and scapegoating. Dedue sees this, even when Dimitri isn’t willing to.

And at the same time, he wants to keep Dimitri safe because keeping Dimitri alive in the hell that was the Tragedy of Duscur is the only fucking thing of value that came out of a nightmare that was otherwise an unbearable loss. He also has nowhere else to turn, and nowhere left to go, and no one else left alive who loves him and cares if he lives or dies. If he leaves Dimitri’s protection, he will never be safe himself. It’s only a matter of time until he’s used as a political football by Cornelia if no one else. If he’s out of the way playing nice little barista, you don’t have to grapple with the fact that Dedue can’t just walk away and expect to be left alone.

You also don’t have to grapple with the fact that he doesn’t want to. To grapple with the fact that being helpless to stop the Tragedy changed him fundamentally, so he can never go back to being innocent the way he was before. The fact that he has a fundamental need to effect change himself, the fact that he came back after five years and the first thing he asked was to be allowed to witness the new, better world himself, with his own eyes, on the front lines. That he needs to make the Tragedy worth something in his own soul in order to live with it.

To grapple with the fact that Dedue is the only retainer to both outlive the Lord of his route on other routes, and to decide to personally finish the mission himself, anyway. Hubert doesn’t; his allegiance is to Edelgard personally, and not to her ideals beyond the fact that they’re hers; he dies in every non-Crimson Flower route well before you reach Edelgard. Hilda certainly doesn’t; you can recruit her away as long as you’re not backing Edelgard, and Deirdru is the last place she appears if you don’t recruit her. Dedue cannot be recruited, and yet, no matter what route, he personally faces Edelgard himself, even if Dimitri is dead. Even if the odds are against him in every possible way. He can’t die in Silver Snow or Verdant Wind! He is the only retainer who cannot die except in Crimson Flower!

Unless you, the player, betray him. Unless you, the player, decide that what matters to him doesn’t matter to you. Unless you, the player, decide to let his people die, when it is the only thing he asks of you, to give him the power to save them. If you don’t live up to his expectations, if you choose to not allow Dimitri to be the leader who cares about Duscur that he believed Dimitri to be, that is the only circumstance in which it’s even possible for Dedue to die outside of Crimson Flower.

And that’s uncomfortable. Dedue’s themes and narrative weight are uncomfortable. He challenges the player, like he challenges the other Faerghus characters, to look him in the face and understand his humanity. He demands that the player sit with discomfort and the injustice of his circumstance. He demands the player care about what he cares about if they want to retain him. He demands that, and refuses to be sidelined, refuses to go away, refuses to stop doing the hard thing even though it doesn’t have to be him that does it, because he is the only one with the power to do what he does for Duscur. The only one who can advocate for them the way he does. He wants to be on the front lines in that fight.

But in a happy little bakery, he’s harmless, isn’t he. Then you just don’t have to think about it anymore.

[batsplat]

I don’t know if this is a crossover that makes sense but I saw that you like doctor who and MotoGP which are two things I enjoy a lot so if you had to a-sign Valentino, Marc, Casey, Jorge, and Dani as a doctor which doctor would each of them be (the one most like them) and would there be crossovers for who’s who.

ontologically fascinating ask in that the premise supposes all the aliens are essentially variations upon the same guy. and given I do indeed am a known doctor who enjoyer, I will absolutely have a crack at this. obviously some of the aliens will inevitably have more of a doctor-ish vibe than others, which made some of these trickier than others. but this kind of exercise is fun in that it forces you to think of like... the key, non-negotiable character traits you associate with each guy. so here goes

dani: struggled most with this one. I initially thought maybe third doctor - some kind of homage to the samurai styling and three's martial arts thing. idk I could picture dani dropkicking an alien. (literal, not motogp alien... although maybe?) though mainly this pick is about the UNIT team environment. you've got this loner vibe, right, paired with this sense of superiority over some of those you're working with: maybe you've been exiled to earth and have to spend time with a bunch of humans or maybe you have to share a garage with a teammate when you'd really rather not. it's about capturing the energy of early premier class dani who flirts with the line between being kinda shy and awkward versus being a bit of an arrogant prick. the contemptuous vibe the doctor brings to the table... he knows how good he is! boy wonder dani surrounded by people convinced he's going to be the next big thing. a lot of the time three just wants to be left alone to do his work... three's the most grounded doctor (no pun intended) and between the pragmatism and the haughtiness, there is an appeal to this pick

but a different alien is more suited to the third doctor in terms of actual personality, so... for dani, we'll keep the trappings of three, but maybe in terms of actual personality veer a tad closer to nine. very much a big-hearted incarnation of the doctor despite having been thoroughly beaten down by the universe. regret, frustration, a reckoning of sorts with his own ineffectuality... nine's arc of coming to terms with his failure to save others, versus dani's arc of coming to terms with not achieving what people expected him to. nine is a transitional doctor, one who's all about finding himself in the aftermath of loss + tragedy - it's a journey that's very much about finding some measure of peace. reckoning with how painful and unfair the world can be, finding meaning within it anyway. nine's also committed to his worldview, his sense of morality... he's rigid at times, inflexible - though he's sometimes successfully challenged to reassess his beliefs. embraces a little more nuance by the end of his tenure while still never wavering from certain core values... the world might reward cruelty, might be unfair, but nine can choose to fight anyway. commitment to the struggle, even if it's ultimately futile! I'm still not wholly convinced by how good a fit this is because nine's outwardly manic persona is key to his characterisation, but. well. maybe you'd go three's life circumstances with nine's soul (?) with one's gruff exterior. having to make a choice, I'd go nine

jorge: this one's a straight contest between two doctors for me. my first thought was six - you know, the one with the whacky clothes. on a meta level, there is something to how the doctor who showrunners really ramped up the quirkiness to the max with this version of the doctor without figuring out why that had worked with past incarnations. one of my fave things about jorge is that whole process he had to try to figure out his 'character', attempting to construct a persona in this deliberate, self-serious way with constant reference to valentino, reflecting upon everything he did to the point of omphaloskepsis. and six at the start of his tenure was also a bit of an... unfinished product, rough around the edges - just too abrasive a personality to work in this particular show. also one of the most outwardly arrogant incarnations! six is always A Lot, with this flamboyance and passion that just suits theatre-kid-at-heart jorge. and six does calm down, stops trying to be so edgy... idk, to me just a little reminiscent of jorge's evolution. stopped trying to come up with a 'character' that rivals valentino's - which does work rather nicely as a meta-textual parallel with that particular era of doctor who. six might have been stubborn, poorly socialised, sometimes a handful to deal with... but also someone who softened some of the rough edges. it's taken some time, but he's won a lot of fans over. eventually

all that being said, I'm leaning towards the other option here - and bring back three, a better fit for jorge than he is for dani. a lot of the stuff about the working environment applies here too, of course... like, you've got an alien who's being made to work a nine to five job surrounded by actual human beings; the interpersonal interactions tend to be a bit hit-and-miss. three's self-seriousness, his pompousness really work here... his tendency to pontificate, I see the vision for jorge. and - let's not forget - three's run was very much defined by his relationship with the master, who got to actually be a very regular antagonist in that era. that particular dynamic has taken some radically different forms over the years... but the third doctor, for all of his antagonism with the master, brought a certain 'only bitch in this house I respect' vibe to the table. jorge would get obsessed with his old academic rival who keeps showing up to bother him/commit mass murder. after the master's first appearance/mass murder spree, the doctor can barely contain his enthusiasm at the thought of fighting the master again soon. that's jorge, if he were a time travelling alien. going three

casey: right, casey's getting the old soul treatment. the first doctor fits that brief and is also the most irascible incarnation, back in the earliest days of the character when they just wrote him as kinda a dick for a while. do I think casey would abduct two school teachers just because they poked around where they wren't supposed to and pissed him off? well, yes. that sounds like a casey thing to do. the first doctor is stubborn, moody, frequently dismissive of those who aren't as brilliant as him. doesn't trust easily. blunt, pragmatic, sceptical of authority. a bit of a loner. and given he's the first incarnation, he's also the version going through the most culture shock!! not always easy, is it, when you're constantly surrounded by all these [humans/europeans] who baffle you. the first doctor did get to mature a bit, got to have some fun and lean into his natural inclination towards mischief... a piece of work whose heart is mostly in the right place, even if he doesn't always show it particularly well

another option for casey is twelve, another a pick that does kinda work on a meta level. twelve follows on from some massively popular incarnations, keeps dropping all-timer performances that don't always get the appreciation they deserve from the casual fan. the real ones know how goated he is. twelve starts out REALLY surly, not exactly the most outwardly empathetic doctor - let's just say his bedside manner could use a little bit of tweaking. at the same time, twelve's very preoccupied with questions of morality... he has a tendency to be incredibly harsh to those he doesn't feel live up to his standards - ones which at times feel a touch arbitrary, even hypocritical. also very harsh towards himself!! twelve goes in heavy on the self-loathing, pairing an ironclad confidence in his own abilities with plenty of doubts and insecurities. casey's all about confidence - both in the positive sense that he's got a lot of it and knows he can always rely on his obscene levels of talent, but also in the negative sense that he's constantly terrified of letting everyone else down and can have his self-belief shaken under the right circumstances. possibly setting off a streak of crashes. twelve's another quite rigid sort at the start of his tenure, very capable of lashing out at anything in range, though he does chill out a bit. and he's a very kind version of the doctor, principled, got a dry sense of humour... one of the more misunderstood incarnations and still somewhat underappreciated. this is already a good fit to me! but I'd also throw in a wild card tenth doctor in there, for that tendency to think he's always in the right and a reluctance to admit to certain shortcomings - he's just a little less reflective and honest with himself than twelve. a Proper Grudge Holder who went to the resent and remember class of conflict non-resolution. his rather remarkable capacity for self-delusion doesn't hurt with the parallels either. ten's admittedly a bit too happy-go-lucky for casey's whole deal... primarily I'd still say twelve

marc: went the other way from casey with this one and considered the doctors with younger appearances. five would be an interesting pick - an incarnation that really embraced having a young face, who felt like some of his previous incarnations had been trying way too hard to appear old and mature. there's a vibrancy and charm to five that suits marc I feel, cheerful and a tad naive (to the point of being somewhat childish) and wanting to really engage with the universe... he wants to live life to the fullest, wants to have fun out there, rejects cynicism. and for his troubles, five absolutely gets put through the wringer. this is a man acquainted with TRAUMA. full time companions really don't die very often in this show, but one of the defining fifth doctor stories features just that. as he continues getting blows dealt by the universe, he becomes more guarded, wearier, cautious of trusting others. but also... idk, five is a bit too spineless I reckon, lets himself pushed around too much, is too easy to manipulate and too docile in the face of authority - that's not marc

my actual pick is eleven (for meta-narrative points, he follows the incarnation who is seen by many as the archetypal doctor). marc's got this interesting career arc where - because of the age profiles of his competitors and the gap left by the injury years - he's gone from always being the baby to being the old man... with seemingly little time spent in between. eleven's very much all about being an old soul in a young body and is one of the incarnations that best manages to capture that energy - for all the outward exuberance, the mania, this is someone who has seen a lot and hurt a lot and carries that burden with him. eleven has a steeliness to him that works for marc, a cheerful facade that covers a real ruthlessness. a lot of emphasis during eleven's tenure is placed on how much the doctor lies, just constantly deceiving and playing his games and... well! marc! with eleven you do lean into the secrecy and mystique of it all - he's just quite a slippery guy where he does obviously care, where there's a select group of people he loves with all his heart, but he's also plenty capricious and arrogant and is willing to withhold vital information if he thinks he knows best. all about the contrast between the cheery exterior and darker, cunning interior. very marc. eleven

valentino: tough. tough! you can legitimately go at least 4-5 different directions here. a lot of the marc + eleven stuff applies here, though marc fits eleven's coldness a little better I reckon. you can copy and paste everything I said about ten in the casey section here too - they're all traits valentino and casey are aligned on, maybe go even more all in on ten's hubris for valentino. ten's outward demeanour does suit valentino better than casey, with the charm and the cheeriness and the manic energy and all that. and meta-narratively it doesn't hurt how crazy popular ten is, to the point where plenty of the more contrarian fans think he's overrated. he also just keeps coming back... refuses to fade into irrelevance! fans aren't allowed to forget about this bloke, however they feel about him. still, ten's not got quite enough of an edge, doesn't have the self-awareness he needs to lean into some of his nastier traits. another good shout is the second doctor, who kinda revolutionises the game by introducing the concept of regeneration into lore - and is also softer, gentler than his previous incarnation, a bit more capable of communicating with others and performing empathy and all that stuff. and is playful!! might pretend to be the fool to catch others off guard, but is constantly plotting and scheming and has a tendency to be more control of the situation than anyone thinks. it's that element of trickery and mischief that makes me like two as a pick... though, idk, I reckon he's a bit too nice to quite work

on the other end of the spectrum is seven, who was my initial impulse actually. seven is the manipulator, the doctor most willing to coldly maneuver enemies and allies alike to suit his purposes, very secretive... this is the real arsehole doctor. which, y'know, does suit valentino. plus, he's got this paternalistic energy, especially towards his companion ace - this is an era where the doctor/companion relationship is most oriented around the doctor being a teacher. where the seven pick falls apart for me is that there's a real contrast between his early playful personality and then his later manipulative, darker turn. these two sides of him feel in opposition to each other in a way that feels distinctly un-valentino, like with him it's all part of the same package y'know. seven is also a bit too cold and detached... valentino is more emotional, more passionate than that. and seven is a bit too obviously manipulative, that's the number one thing he's known for - you need someone more charismatic and popular than that I reckon. which brings us to four, the most popular incarnation of the character from the classic era who also got some of the highest quality writing, continues to be iconic however much time passes. four is this bohemian weirdo, eccentric but also charming... like the second doctor, he tries to catch others off guard, and he's big on joking around to do just that. he's also moody, at times mercurial, capricious... harsher than he initially seems, with quite a temper. he's also a bit too dispassionate to 100% fit valentino, but still the closest option - so four

in conclusion: loved answering this ask, really made me think lol. I did try to come up with a unique pick for each rather than honing in on the crossovers - though there's still a few doctors I've mentioned for multiple aliens. and also a few more I could probably make a case for, like seven and jorge or twelve and valentino or nine and casey... but you have to cut yourself off somewhere. this did made me realise the key similarity between the doctor as a character and the aliens as a group is the massive ego - partially justified by actual brilliance but still insufferable. I mean, there's also some crucial differences, like how the doctor is a selfless hero who goes around saving planets while the aliens are egocentric tax evasion-inclined athletes who mainly just care about winning motorcycle races. but apart from that, there's a decent amount of common ground yeah

[feyarcher]

It's the loss of community from all the social media site distasters of the last year that really gets me. Musk blew up twitter because ????? and I lost a huge source of my regular connection to certain communities and the world generally. Reddit is now fucked because its owner has decided it is cool to be a mini musk or something and so many communities are getting destroyed.

Some people leave immediately when the ship starts sinking. Some people are forced out because the lack of accessibility literally steals their community spaces from them. Others stay to laugh at the asshats in charge. And bad actors come in to make the remnants of the communities into cesspools.

And what are we left with? There is no other platform that entire communities can move to in the exact same way they were before. There is no way to track where every single person who brought value to your community chooses to go. And the scatter remnants are different, forced from text based to [whatever the fuck tumblr is] based or fucking video based. (The turn to video based content with your real identity attached is a whole thing for another time). Or private discord forums that you have to already know about to be able to find because message boards where you can find community and answers with an easy search are gone.

Our communities have been wonderful much of the time (if you can manage to filter out the awful and the rage bait and curate your experience), but we built them on private companies that somehow don't give a fuck about the users who drive the entire value of their site. They focus on advertisers and data collection and never improving the actual experience of the users who mean everything to their stock prices.

The undervaluing of mods, the highlighting of asshats paying $8 to spout off nonsense, the complete lack of caring about what actually makes their platforms useful. And the collateral damage is me, losing communities and news sources and amusement that I have relied on for years. In order to what? Impress investors who are equally stupid and refuse to focus on building a good product and instead focus on what? Ads half of people block anyways? Appeasing the ego of a guy who should take his halfassed spaceship to Mars and not come back?

And the only real short term option we have to fight back is to leave. To not give them our engagement. To tank the stupid metrics they care so much about. At the cost of communities. Of easy information access. Of discovering new people and ideas completely by accident that change your whole world.

Sure, in the long run we can work on shifting to "better" sites. Ones that are open sources or ones we build ourselves. Make your own website. Get involved in modding not for profit sites. But none of it brings back the communities, the connections, the people that we have lost along the way. And today, I'm just fucking sad about it.

[marshmallowprotection]

Got into a car accident the other day (I’m not at fault and am mostly okay beyond some bruising/a mild concussion) but the car is totaled and I could use some comfort. Maybe from older bro Saeyoung?? Im really feeling the pain of losing my car. She was old and kinda funky but got me from point A to point B well and I miss her 😞

Saeyoung never wants his family to fall into danger!

The first thing that would happen when you told him you were in an accident is him doing everything he possibly can to make sure you're safe and comfortable.

Sure, is it worth pointing out that he would make sure that whoever puts you in an accident in the first place was taken care of if they were 100% at fault, yeah, but that's not something he would bring up with you as you are trying to recover. He's your big brother, and as much as he would want to get revenge on somebody who hurt you, he values taking care of you much more in the immediate. 

You know he's a mother hen no matter how much he says he's not. As soon as you are safe and sound in your bed, make no mistake, he has stocked your room with everything you could ever need. You don't have to get up or go very far to get anything. If he could make it so you wouldn't have to stumble that far to go to the restroom, he would do that as well, it just depends on how much of a time constraint he has.

He can make anything happen, and he will definitely go over the top in that realm. You have to give him credit for being ready for anything, at least.

He often says that's the one good thing about his paranoia. He can't always stop worrying, but he's ready for anything to go wrong at any moment. It helps him when something does go wrong, but he prays that nothing goes wrong so he doesn't have to put those plans into action. 

It's one thing to know that something could go wrong, it's another to see it happen. No amount of preparation is going to make him feel better about the fact that you got hurt and he couldn't stop it from happening. But, make no mistake, he's sitting at your bedside so you can tell him about your woes since there's not much else you can do but rest or talk to him.

When you tell him that you're sad about your car, he'll get it. He understands the emotional connection you can build to a vehicle because it is something that takes you everywhere. You put a lot of emotional compassion into this thing that helps you traverse the world and see everything there is to offer.

It's not silly to grieve over this loss, that's what he'd tell you. 

"Listen, little racer, I know you’re bummed out that someone took your baby. I would feel the same way if somebody demolished one of my cars. But, all good things come to an end, and even if this wasn't on the best of circumstances, you get to reflect on all the good times you had to come to terms with this loss. Do you want to tell me about your favorite trip you took with your car? I'd love to hear one. That's the great thing about being around someone who gets it, you get to hear the stories not everybody tells."

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

SixThree of Crows and their love pledges

However many differences there are between the three Crows ships, they have at least one thing in common: the way in which one person says they love the other.

I would come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together—knives drawn, pistol blazing. Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting.

Kaz values his independence, the walls he built between himself and the rest of the world, above many things - almost above all else. But to Inej he says that he`ll throw all his plans, goals and schemes to the wind - for her. He says 'We', he says 'Together'. The wolf is not so lone after all, right, Mr. Brekker? Well, the crow is certainly not. To admit he`s not all about 'each man for himself' to Inej is not a burden after all - because he loves her.

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath.

For Nina Matthias opens his mind and leaves behind his occupation that he committed himself to. For him any oath is not easily given - and eveh harder broken. But Nina - and his feelings for her - help him to see the error of his ways and bring forth the best part of him. That`s why he readily gives her what is most precious to him - his faith, his loyalty, to the end of his days (screw you, CK Chapter 40). And it is not a loss for him - because he loves her.

I can read to him.

Jesper is a free bird - always on the move, never resting, taking risks, cherishing the danger. Yet he commits himself to Wylan - to keep his secret, to help him guard it, to know that Wylan depends on him. Jesper`s willing to tame his restlessness, to delve into himself in search of qualities he didn`t even think he possessed - for Wylan. And it`s not a hardship - because he loves him.

Kaz, Matthias and Jesper all make a sacrifice by giving up something essential for their loved ones` sake. And that`s the best kind of sacrifice - because in making it they overcome their own pain, prejudice, vices and weaknesses. By parting with something they hold very important they become greater not lesser, stronger not weaker.

Also: I just love how Kaz`s pledge is the longest and Jesper`s is the shortest. Breaking some stereotypes here:)