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onepunchcatboi · 1 year ago

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A Newbie Guide to Tanking

HALO~

I make this guide in the hopes that it helps out new players to Final Fantasy XIV, as the in game tutorial is um, bad. (-｡-;

I also included a general etiquette guide, because when it comes to working with other players, a lot of these things you don't pick up unless someone tells it to you.

Suggestions welcome! However, remember that this is meant to be a general beginners guide, so I'm not likely going to add in anything that's specific to a single /dungeon/raid/boss and such.

Everything under the cut!

Basic Tanking and How it Works

Part 1: How to Pull

As the Tank it's your job to make everything in the room hate you the most! That way they punch your extremely durable face instead of everyone else's more squishy ones!

You do this by creating what the game calls "Enmity", aka the stat of creating enemy aggression, or "Aggro". There are three steps in which the Tank must do this.

PUT YOUR STANCE ON Your stance is the thing that makes the bad guys turn their heads and go "Oh! You're a mother fucker!". You will generate enmity just by having it on. This is called a different thing depending on your job: Defiance [WAR], Iron Will [PLD], Royal Guard [GNB], and Grit [DRK]. You click it once to put the stance on, click it again to turn the stance off [there are a few instances you may need it to be off, they will be explained later]. It's important to put this on because if it's not, no matter how much you attack, other players WILL take aggro and get hurt.

USE AN ENMITY GENERATING SKILL Unlike some other MMOs your mere presence does not make the enemies incensed enough to fully ignore your party members, you must encourage them to hate you and only you! You can do this in a couple ways. There is the Provoke skill, which has the longest range. All Tanks also have a ranged skill which works similarly to Provoke but slightly closer distance and slightly less enmity, Tomahawk [WAR], Shield Lob [PLD], Lightning Shot [GNB], and Unmend [DRK]. [While they are fun and look cool, none of the skills that rush the enemies actually generate enmity] Using one of these once is enough to piss off a group or a boss.

ALWAYS BE ATTACKING Enemies in this game are drawn to the player doing that are doing two things at once: generating the most enmity & doing the most damage. This is important to remember! Because even if you have your stance on and you use an enmity skill, if you are not also attacking with all your might, the enemies will think you are all talk and start attacking your DPS/Healers instead! If you are fighting a group of enemies [and that is more often the case] make sure you are using attacks that are going to hit multiple enemies at once. These are called Area of Effect or AOE skills.

NOW THAT YOU HAVE DONE ALL THAT-look at the names of the enemies. There should be a little red square next to them, indicating that they are focused on and attacking you. If they are not, don't panic! A few things could have happened:

You might have just missed one

Your Healer used a Regen skill as you were engaging, and enemies just hate that.

Your DPS is doing some bonkers damage to start pulling enmity, good for them!

Regardless of the why, you can either use an enmity generating skill, or just hit them really hard a few times, and they'll be pissed off enough to turn around and hit you instead!

[and for reference, green circle means they are not focused on you at all, and yellow triangle means that your face is beginning to look punch-able!]

Part 2: Managing your Damage

OK, now everyone in the room wants you dead more than they want your DPS/Healers dead. Excellent! Now you move to Step two: STAY ON YOUR FEET. You are made to take all the blows from the enemy and laugh at them! It's time for MITIGATIONS.

All Tanks have several mitigation skills [or "mits"] that they can use to either reduce the damage they take from enemies, reduce the amount of damage their enemies are doing, or temporarily negate damage altogether [only one of these per Tank Job].

Ideally you want to be spacing these skills out, rather than using them all at once. These skills have a longer recharge time [or Cool Down] than your attacking skills, so if you use a bunch, you will more than likely end up halfway through the fight with nothing to shield you but the Healers skills and the speed of your DPS. ALSO, mitigations have a soft cap, that is to say, the game will only allow you to negate so much damage at one time. So at most you can use 2 of these skills at once while still effectively negating damage, anything past that goes to waste.

Now there are too many mitigation skills to go through all of them individually [most are unique to their Tank Job], I encourage you to read all your skill descriptions and get familiar with them. But I will touch on a couple Role ones and the full damage negation ones.

Reprisal: Great for groups and bosses, it will reduce the damage enemies do to your party

Arm's Length: This is not advertised as a mitigation from it's description, but it is in fact quite helpful for large pulls. Because every enemy that hits you [physically] will have their actions slowed by 20%, which means less time hitting you, and more time for the Healer to do their work.

The full damage negation mitigations are great! But a couple of them can be risky to use, and require your healer to be paying attention. They also have very long Cool Downs, so they're meant to be used sparingly.

[PLD] Hallowed Ground: You're impervious for 10 seconds, have fun.

[WAR] Holmgang: You will still take damage, but cannot be taken down past 1 HP for 10 seconds, and also root the targeted enemy in place.

[GNB] Superbolide: This will negate all damage for 10 seconds, BUT it will also take you down to 1 HP.

[DRK] Living Dead: You will still take damage, but your enemies cannot take you down past 1 HP for 10 seconds. HOWEVER, if while using this mit you would have been killed by your enemies, your Healer now has to heal an amount of points equal to your HP points in a limited amount of time, or you die. So say your HP is 5000, and you use Living Dead, and you would have "died" while using it, the Healer now has you heal you for at least 5000 points [within 10 seconds], or you die .

Some tanks like to use simple macros that announce when they are using the Superbolide and Living Dead mits in particular, to give their Healers a heads up. This is up to player preference.

Every so often a boss will decide they've had enough of you kicking them in the shins and will try to get you in one blow. This is called a Tank Buster and will be indicated by a red targeting marker on you [red circles around your character and a red arrow pointing down on them] coupled with a progress bar. Stay calm! So long as you have a mitigation to use when you see it coming, everything will be fine. The Healer will know to be watching your health. Some will of course hit harder than others though, so if you're worried or low on health use 2 mits to be safe!

Part 3: Stunning Enemies & Interrupting Attacks

Now you've got the enemy right where you want them and you're weathering their blows- but oh no! They're preparing to attack the party anyways! It's a huge AOE too. What do you do? You give them the finger and then kick them in the balls! [partly true, most of the time.]

Most enemies in the game have both an auto-attack, and attacks that can be stopped in some fashion by specific skills. There are two different ways to stop an attack, you can use a skill that will Stun the enemy [Tanks and Melee DPS], OR you can Interrupt it [Tanks and Ranged DPS]. Stun and Interrupt are not interchangeable in their use.

So! How can you tell which attacks can be stopped by players? They are the attacks that have a progress bar, showing the enemy has to charge them up before they are actually used. The normal progress bar indicates an attack that can be stopped by Stunning the enemy. For Tanks this is the Low Blow skill [also the Shield Bash skill for PLD]. The flashing progress bar indicates that the attack can be Interrupted. For Tanks this is the Interject skill.

Keep in mind that both these types of skills will also have longer cool downs, so you cannot spam them. This means sometimes you might have to be strategic about when you use them, as some attacks will be more dangerous or troublesome than others. HOWEVER, not all enemies can be stunned, and enemies that can be stunned will become impervious to it after a few uses. You cannot stun bosses period.

You And Your Healer

You may be the biggest baddest person in the room now, but you are not a one man show, and you certainly cannot stay alive without your Healer! Your mitigations can only do just that-mitigate, in the end you have to rely on the Healer to help keep you standing.

You and the Healer are partners in this system. You have to make sure that if you are going, they are following close behind. If you decide to pull a ton of enemies around the corner, your Healer now has to run around that corner first before their spells can effect you.

Most Healers are going to assume you will run and grab all the enemies you can, but if you're finding that you and your Healer are struggling to keep the party alive, you need to tone down your pulls! If the Healer tells you that they are new, or straight up asks you not to full-pull, be considerate of that! Remember, while they have their eyes on you often, they are charged with keeping the whole party alive too! Literally in their case lol

General Tank Etiquette

Dungeons & General Tips

As the Tank it is your job to protect the party and make sure you are the only one taking damage. This also means you set the pace, and lead the group into every battle. This is because it is much easier to pull enemies to you if you are the first thing they see, and are the first to attack. Most players will follow your lead and wait to attack after you have done so. Mostly. So! It's good to remember that your comfort level is important. Go at the pace you feel works for you, let people know you are new if you are worried. Most other players are understanding of this! Many are willing to explain mechanics even!

Additionally since you are the leader, most players will expect you to run in first and generally to keep running until you've decided you've gathered all the enemies you feel like pulling. But! Don't leave your party in the dust. You need you DPS to kill all the things you pulled and your Healer to keep your ass alive X'D

Remember to check that your stance is on before you run in! Most times when you enter a dungeon or a raid its turned off at the start, even if you had it on when you were in the field.

Also, while not a hard rule it's generally advised not to do big pulls in early dungeons anyways [like, Lv 40 or under]. This is mostly to do with the amount of enemies in some areas versus your mitigation options and your Healers healing options. Often at this stage there is simply not enough of these to go around between you and your Healer, and a big pull can sometimes result in a party wipe.

Whether engaging a group of enemies or a boss, common courtesy is to run through the enemy and tank them from the other side [or if you're out in the field, attack from the opposite side of the other players]. This rotates the enemy so that they face you and not the rest of the party, making it so no one else is caught in the majority of enemy attacks. [You do not prevent damage from happening to others by standing in front of them, so attacks can go through you and hit other players, this is called Cleave]

Generally speaking it is also best to keep enemies in one place and facing the same direction as best you can. This makes it easier for the DPS to do their job [especially if they are using casting skills] and easier for the Healer to keep track of you.

Many of the melee DPS have a thing usually referred to as Positionals, meaning they do more damage if they strike enemies from the flank or from the rear. When possible it is good to position bosses so that they can do this, and reposition bosses out of harmful terrain for the melee DPS to strike without harm to themselves.

Speaking of that, do not stand in bad things or perfectly dodge-able attacks! You might be the Tank, but you don't need to tax your Healer while you're at it. They have to worry about other people too! One last note on movement and control of enemies: generally speaking it is also best to grab all the enemies you feel comfortable with and then stay put until all of them are dead, rather than pull a group and kill some and moving to the next one. It might seem like you are saving time by advancing slowly, but in actuality you are making everything harder for everyone else. This is because this forces all the other players to stop and start their actions constantly, which is bad. Why? Because now your melee DPS are having to chase after enemies they are trying to kill [meaning they are only hitting them half the time], and your DPS casters/Healers basically cannot do anything until the party stops again [because they have to stand still for 95% of their actions]. In the end it it more effective to stay until all the enemies are dead!

When it comes to the Limit Break [or LB], you as the Tank will almost never need to touch this button. The Limit Break is usually something the DPS will use to make a big attack on the boss, or in the case of a boss/raid not going well, the Healers can use a Limit Break Three/LB3 [when you have three full Limit Break bars] to revive the entire party. Thus far in the core game encounters, there are only a couple specific cases that utilize the Tank LB 3, and that will not occur until the ShadowBringers Expansion.

Provoke is not part of your attack rotation! If you have used an Enmity skill once in the fight, especially if you opened with it, you will not have to use it again to keep the enemy on you. While using Provoke consistently is not a big deal if you are the sole Tank, it is a bad habit to get into, as it will become a problem in situations where there are multiple Tanks.

Raids

In a Raid, be it a 8-player one [Normal Raid] or a 24-player one [Alliance Raid], you are not the only Tank on the field, making things slightly confusing and sometimes chaotic lol

When you are all facing mobs of enemies, all Tanks should have their stance on to ensure none of the Healers or DPS get hurt. Sometimes the mobs are spaced far apart when you find them, and its easier when Tanks work together to bring them in. Sometimes you may notice your Enmity being pulled, it is [hopefully] the other Tanks.

When you are facing bosses, generally the first Tank to put on their stance and engage the boss is now the Main Tank:

If that is you, cool! Have fun tanking boss!

If that is not you, DO NOT turn your stance on and try to provoke the boss away from the other Tank. That is rude. Keep your Stance off so you don't draw Enmity, you are now the Off-Tank and play the part of a beefy DPS.

If you are an Off-Tank, DO NOT stand next to the Main Tank to attack the boss. This makes you vulnerable to being Cleaved from boss attacks and unnecessarily overtaxes your Healers. Off-Tanks need to be attacking from the flank or the rear with the other DPS.

Main Tank is the Main Tank until they die.

Off-Tanks, if inclined, can help bring any extra enemies that appear on the field to the Main Tank so they do not have to move the boss around. This is helpful to the group because they can now attack all enemies together at the same time, rather than in small pockets. In this case it's okay to Stance On to get the enemies and then Stance Off so the Main Tank can take them.

IF the Main Tank dies for whatever reason, [one of] the Off-Tank[s] must put their Stance on and take control of the boss, they are now the Main Tank.

Some raids will also require Tanks to switch control of the boss off to each other, require Off-Tanks to manage their own mechanics or assist the Main Tank in some way, or even make all Tanks have to position themselves away from the group to take three-pronged Tank Busters that can cleave others! Raids are very diverse so it's a matter of learning the fights. There are many online guides for dungeons and raids you can use for this!

NOW GO! PROTECCA YOUR FRIENDS AND ATTACKA YOUR FOES!! >:3

#final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ffxiv #ff14 #ff14 guide #ff14 tank #ff14 tanking #ff14 beginners guide

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hoodie-prince-kid · 2 years ago

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Huey (rant invitation)

When Port Prisma got the paint stars stolen from the fountain, Huey was what emerged from the fountain's emergency system. He introduced himself by saying "let's get burgers, your treat" before letting Mario drain his color in order to fight off a stray shy guy in the town. At the ends of the game, after everything theyve been thru, Huey thanks Mario just before the final battle, and then in the battle turns himself into a card to become a solid object again, which made it go full circle. As the guardian of the paint fountain in Port Prisma, he realized his job wasnt to get the paint stars, but to get rid of the black paint that Bowser inadvertantly created. He told the others he would be right behind them as they escaped the castle, which was a lie, and proceeded to squeeze the paint out of the *entire castle*.

He's never seen the ocean before, but he loves it.

He's never been to a circus but he was so excited to go.

He's bad in front of crowds. (He tried a tin can impression and no one liked it [i liked it], said it would kill back at the recycling plant which?? Are there other living inanimate objects like Huey??? Hello?????)

He "speaks Draggadon" but he hasnt used it since college and his Draggadon speak is just SIMPLE SENTENCES IN ALL CAPS. (He also told the Draggadon "WE LOVE YOU.")

He's been to college, apparently.

He loves paint and values friendship.

He called shenanigans when the giant coin in the Mondo Woods was only worth one coin upon being picked up.

He was excited to see the fossil at the excavation site and told Mario to go ahead, he'd catch up.

He started a "if anything happens i will protect you" speech just before a chain chomp rolled in out of nowhere and interrupted him (i guess that was foreshadowing, looking back).

He steams and whistles like a tea kettle when he's mad.

He finds Toads adorable but also mumbled to Mario "Why can't we ever meet anyone normal?" upon meeting the lighthouse Toad.

His 3D model uses more triangles than the entirety of Super Mario 64.

He can smell paint stars (the green ones smell "minty fresh", apparently).

He wanted to fight at the coliseum but realized Mario would be the one doing the fighting and sounded it a bit disappointed. (Now thst i think abt it, they could very much have called it "The Colorseum". Missed opportunity.)

He makes bad paint puns and tries to use one to add levity to the situation after the battle with Kamek.

Mario had to whack him with a hammer several times (only once did he get truly upset abt it, in which case he was freaking out abt i mini goomba stuck on his back and Mario really had no choice ["You BETTER not have dented my can, fur face" will live rent free in my memory forever.])

His handles come apart which is something ive never seen a bucket or paint can be able to do but clearly it was solely so they could give him an equivalent to hands because he can clap and "dance".

He absorbed Bowser's black paint at Sunglow Ridge and told Mario to close his eyes and "never speak of this again" (i guess thst was foreshadowing too huh).

His little mask thing changes colors based on his emotions.

He sank into quicksand once and i panicked and when I finally got to him the game said "Huey's not breathing!" but we whacked him with the hammer and he was fine, just full of sand and stating that it's a good thing paint cans dont need to breathe.

Clearly has a sense of fairness, called out the scam at Bloo Bay Beach and got mad when the "legendary mountain sage" turned out to be a cardboard cutout.

Saved Mario from falling in lava and shouted "I got you, bud!"

If you lose a boss battle without the right Thing card he'll pop up on the game over screen and tell you.

He's so encouraging and cheerful, lots of times he cheered Mario on when he was struggling, including in the boss battle.

Apologized for forcing Mario to come with him to recover the paint stars which no, he didn't, Peach told Mario to go and Mario always listens to Peach because he loves her. Plus Mario's a hero and he'll always do what's right for the greater good but now that i think about it probably does need a break.

Thinks the Toad Rescue Squad scarves are "choice".

Wants to buy Birdo's album.

Thats all i got rn and already i know it's a lot so here ya go jdbsndbdb-

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sheliesshattered · 3 months ago

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Sewing Projects Update

It feels like it's been forever since I posted an update about my sewing projects, despite how many projects I have planned and currently in the works. Figured it was time to fix that.

Since mid-late April I've been Normal People Sick off and on, on top of my usual Full-Time Spoonie Chronically Ill level of sick. One cold after another, with a side helping of post-viral syndrome and big cross-continent travel right in the middle of that time period, at the beginning of July. I'm slowly getting better, and have at least been able to start walking in the mornings again, but I've had to pace myself and not push myself to get through projects faster than my body can handle. It's frustrating, but it's a frustration I'm extremely familiar with.

That said, I have actually managed to complete some sewing projects this summer, after the end of my Batuu Bounding sewing craze.

In May and June I finally finished the one-piece swimsuit that I had started in the spring of 2020 for a family trip that ended up being cancelled because of the pandemic. Over the fourth of July this year my family all gathered in Georgia for the first time since then (that wasn't for a funeral), staying at some cabins in a state park with a swimming area in the lake just a short walk away, so it felt like time to finally finish that swimsuit project.

It had originally been designed to be supportive and provide good coverage while hanging out with my niece and nephews, swimming in hotel pools or going to a waterpark. My body shape is such that I haven't been able to buy a one-piece swimsuit in roughly 30 years, but I've also sewn enough for myself that I was able to draft something that fits me and provides the sort of support and coverage that I wanted. Swimming in a lake in a state park in the mountains was not nearly so demanding as water slides, and while I probably would have been fine in one of the two pieces I wear when I'm not around family, it was nice to have something I felt really secure and modest in.

I only wore it the one afternoon in Georgia and didn't get any photos of it, and since it's all black with strappy details in the back it doesn't look like much when it's just on my sewing table, so currently there are no photos of this one. If I do get a good photo of it at some point I'll post it, but for now I'm just happy that the swimsuit is done and out of my sewing area. It fits, it's wearable, it would stand up to a serious water slide. I'm happy enough with it.

The worst of my summer colds hit after we got home from that trip, so sewing in July and early August was really difficult -- but I did get two small projects done. The first was a new pillowcase for a round bolster-style body pillow I made for Jack in 2018 or so. The new case is made from the fabric of jersey bedsheets that had to be retired after acquiring too many holes. It's two circles connected by a rectangle that overlaps itself to form the opening to put the pillow inside, but drafting that pattern, cutting out the fabric, and sewing the whole thing together took weeks. But I do find it's easier to be gentle with myself when I can show slow steady progress towards an actual usable thing, so it felt good to tackle that project and hand it off to my sweetheart at the end.

While working on that, I was seriously contemplating bra alternatives that I could potentially sew for myself. My body is weird in multiple, multiple directions, most of which fight with each other in really obnoxious ways, and underwire bras have been the bloody battleground all this summer. I got to thinking about the support structure I made for my swimsuit, and how I had all that jersey bedsheet fabric on my table and the pattern for the swimsuit not yet put away. So I made myself a little bralette using the pattern pieces for the internal support structure of my swimsuit -- really just curved triangle cups gathered onto a band, with two straps running from each shoulder to the opposite side's lower edge. It's not the prettiest thing, nor my best sewing, and once again I didn't get any photos of it. But for days (or even just evening hours) when my body absolutely cannot handle underwires, it's really nice to have.

Completing those three projects made me start to feel like I could maybe tackle something larger -- like, say, some transition-weather weight jersey dresses using my Solstice dress pattern from last winter. I love that fleece dress, and it is wonderfully warm and cozy -- so wonderfully warm and cozy that I don't expect I'll be able to wear it until November at the earliest. And I always planned to make more dresses and layering pieces for that 14th century historybounding/medieval cottagecore/practical Pre Raphaelite kind of look that I described in my first post on the Solstice dress. I just got briefly distracted by Star Wars inspired sewing and then practical summer projects, but it's a good feeling to be cycling back around to this.

Since I don't quite have enough of the jersey bedsheet fabric to make a whole dress (while working around holes and fading), I started looking around some of my favorite online fabric vendors for potential fabric options. StylishFabric.com had a huge sale on 5, 10, 15, and 20 yard bolts, and I managed to pick up 5 yards each of three different colors of viscose jersey, in some of the colors I wear most often: black, navy blue, and burgundy red. They photographed lighter than they are in person, but I'm really pleased with the colors:

5 yards should get me a full-length dress with long sleeves, with more left over for additional projects (sleeveless dresses? comfy trousers to layer underneath? some other layering piece? we'll see how much fabric I actually have left over from each once the main dresses are made). Three of these comfy, 14th century inspired dresses, along with my fleece Solstice dress and whatever other layering pieces I get out of the rest of this fabric, will really provide the bulk of what I want to wear this autumn and winter, I think.

I also still have about 7 yards left of the black and gray brushed cotton herringbone fabric that I got near the beginning of the year, and used for my hooded wrap back in January. My plan was always to make an overdress out of that fabric, inspired by Viking/Norse apron dresses, probably with some sort of side lacing so that I can adjust the fit to work over different dresses. I think this fabric will go nicely with those three new fabrics, and the blue-gray of my Solstice dress:

While I was on the hunt for good fabric options online for some of the fall/winter sewing, I noticed that one of my other go-to shops, SYFabrics.com had a ridiculously good price for their burgundy silk-rayon velvet. SY generally has the best price I've seen anywhere for high quality silk velvet, and the burgundy was on sale for $13 per yard -- which, if you know silk velvet prices at all, looks more like a rounding error than an actual per-yard price.

The last few winters Jack has talked about wanting a really nice, super high quality Santa hat to wear in December. Given the price on that fabric, I asked him if he still wanted a swanky Santa hat and showed him the velvet. We ended up ordering a $1 sample just to see the fabric in person, and both really loved it -- it's soft and drapey but also feels impressively sturdy for a silk fabric, and the burgundy is a lovely rich dark color that still reads more 'red' than 'purple'. And at that price, it was hard to deny that this is going to be the year that he finally gets that dreamed-of hat.

The question, then, was just how much fabric to order. I could do a hat out of 1 yard no trouble, buuuuut my dreamed-of excessively nice festive outfit has always been a burgundy velvet dress of some sort. After discussing with Jack he encouraged me to spring for 7 yards instead of 1 yard, which would give me enough to make a dress using my Solstice dress pattern again, while accounting for the nap of velvet fabric (can't cut some pieces upside down, unlike with most fabrics). My calculations came out to 6.66 yards needed, but they only sell in full yards -- but this way I might have enough velvet left over for a hat for me too, and maybe even a few other layering pieces eventually.

And look at that! Look at that red! I can't get enough of it. I've had to restrain myself from petting it every time I see it.

The backing on the velvet is actually really nice (that's where most of the silk is -- the pile is mostly rayon with a bit of silk), much nicer than acrylic and polyester velvets. But still not quite soft enough to want against your skin, so when I asked Jack what sort of lining he would want in his Very Fancy Santa Hat, he suggested that a matching cotton flannel might be cozy. Neither SYFabrics nor StylishFabrics had any flannel that fit the bill, so I thought I'd check Amazon before going further afield -- and somehow, somehow I found an 8 yard bolt of 100% cotton flannel in the perfect burgundy color. For $18 total. From that 8 yards I'll be able to make the lining for the Very Fancy Santa Hat(s) and coordinated pajama pants for each of us, and maybe a few other things besides.

For those of you keeping track, that's now three different burgundy fabrics -- viscose jersey, silk velvet, cotton flannel -- ordered from three separate suppliers. And somehow, magically, they all match perfectly:

None of them like to photograph particularly well, so I've done some lighting adjustments on both this photo and the one of the velvet above to try to get it closer to how it looks in real life. In the above picture, the velvet is in the center, with the flannel just above it. On the left is the viscose jersey -- and in the lower corner is a 25 yard cotton voile skirt I bought a year ago that also matches perfectly. That skirt will get worn with a bunch of these projects as I finish them, just like I layered it under my Solstice dress last winter.

One other sewing project has come up just this morning, in a discussion with Jack about our desire for real silk pillowcases for skin care and hair care reasons. I don't trust the 'silk' pillowcases for sale from just about anywhere to actually be silk, but I do trust that the silk from DharmaTrading is real silk. They actually sell pre-made silk pillowcases in a prepared-for-dying white silk charmeuse, but our bedsheets are navy blue and that can be a tricky color to dye (and I've never dyed silk before). But they've got a gorgeous silk charmeuse in a color that matches our bedsheets, for less per yard than the price of possibly-not-real-silk pillowcases listed for sale online. So now I just need to figure out how much fabric I actually need and get that order moving. I'm just going to do basic rectangular pillowcases, with French seams to avoid any unraveling and to allow for machine washing, so the real challenge is just going to be fitting this project in amongst all the other things I want to make in the next ~3 months or so.

And as much as I cannot wait to start working on all these exciting projects, I first have to finish up the thing that is currently on my sewing table: an interpretation of the Lengberg Castle Bra. Between pursuing this 14th century historybounding look and needing to figure out alternatives to underwire bras, the Lengberg find seemed like a perfect project to try to tackle, back before I started acquiring all this new fabric. I've watched just about every video out there of sewists and historical costumers tackling this oddity, and read every blog post I can find on the subject, and slowly figured out my angle of attack -- using, ironically, my best-fitting underwire bra.

Drafting something to fit my body was always going to be the most difficult part of this project, but after absorbing every tactic other people have used for this my plan for draping it on myself in stages actually worked out really well. At this point I have a self-drafted 5 piece pattern derived from my adventures in draping:

I tried both the two-piece cups that are more true to the original and a three-piece cup that's more similar to my favorite bra, and found that the three-piece fits my 28J bra size much better than the two-piece, with much nicer shaping. And since I'm going with historically inspired and not in any way accurate, I decided the three-piece cup is the way to go:

Using that pattern, I cut my pieces out of a tightly-woven cotton muslin that I had on hand, and as of last night I had the front and back sewn together, the reinforcement for the side spiral lacing in place and fully finished, and the cups cut out and assembled:

When Jack saw this on my sewing table he asked if I was making "a Regina George shirt" -- referencing the scene in the (original) Mean Girls movie when they cut holes in Regina's tank top to try to shame her and she instead ends up rocking it and turning it into a trend. Fitting the body pieces of this without the bra cups yet in place resulted in something that was much more Christmas In Heaven from Monty Python's Meaning Of Life, but unsurprisingly none of that is making it onto the internet, lol.

The next step will be getting those bra cups into the circular holes in the front piece. I did a little pinning with the last of my spoons last night and realized that I'm going to need to ease in the weird convex-concave thing happening here. I draped the cups then put the front piece on over the rough draft of the cup and traced the edge of the circle, then added seam allowance, so this should all fit together. But since this is a brand new self-drafted pattern, I'm troubleshooting as I go, and this may in fact need additional adjustments at every stage along the way. But I'm transferring every little change back over to my paper pattern, so hopefully if I can get this first one working (and assuming it's comfortable to wear), I'll be able to make more of these in the future.

There's good evidence that the original Lengberg bra-thing had a skirt attached at the natural waist, and the weight of that fabric probably helped the lower edge from riding up. Waist seams do not get along with my body, so I lowered it all the way down to the hip instead. Once I'm happy with the fit of this torso section, I do plan to add a skirt of some sort to this. Probably paneled instead of gathered like the original, and I'm not sure of the length yet, but I've got enough muslin on hand for at least a knee-length skirt, probably longer if i want it.

Of course, once I've got the cups set into this, the next step will be putting in eyelets for the lacing on each side. I'm not really going for historical accuracy, but I figure hand-bound eyelets will be much more comfortable against my skin than metal grommets, lacing on both sides will give me lots of flexibility to adjust the fit as my health and weight change, and spiral lacing will be the least bulky under other clothes. So somehow I have arrived at historically accurate for my own reasons, lol. So after the cups are in, I'll handsew the eyelets and finish some of the underarm hem that I'm fairly certain isn't going to change, and then I'll finally be able to try this on for real to adjust the fit.

Depending on how much energy I have for handsewing vs sewing activities that involve more standing up, I might get started on cutting out one of the dress projects before this bra project is even done. But since I want to wear this bra project underneath all those dresses, I do want to finish it before I get too far into fitting decisions that'll be difficult to change after cutting is done.

So going through and counting all the up-coming projects in this post, I'm at somewhere between 9 and 12 projects I want to get done as soon as possible, ideally in time for the cooler autumn weather to set in and by Christmas at the latest. I've tackled huge sewing lists like this before, but usually for a con or other costuming event that has a specific deadline, and usually while in better health. There's freedom in being able to work to my own deadlines, but also a challenge in keeping myself motivated to work without tipping over into over-doing and exhausting myself.

The only thing I'm still waiting for is navy blue cotton thread that should arrive tomorrow (and, well, ordering the silk charmeuse), everything else is already on hand, which should allow me to really sink my teeth into these projects and get them wearable as soon as possible. I'm going to try to post updates here more often, so that I can document all these projects more like how I documented all my Batuu Bounding projects and everything I sewed in 2023.

#sewing #my sewing #2024 mood #spoonie life #long post #historybounding #14th century historybounding #medieval cottagecore #medivalism #Lengberg bra project #Very Fancy Santa Hat #velvet Yule dress #Yule dress #I am blanking on project names for all of these right this moment so I might just post this and come back to add project names later on

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sussyamongoos · 9 months ago

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Multiplayer

There were ideas of a multiplayer with my partner. We did have a code for the multiplayer did we use it? No. But what if I had to use it? Well considering my kind of game. it would be PvP one person plays as the Computer infection and the other as the Firewall team. Is this comparable to something? Yes actually I would compare this to

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It was only on the Xbox 360 for whatever reason, it would be local, its actually pretty well made, both players get to pick a limited amount of plants and zombies. My multiplayer would have most likely functioned similar if I had implanted it. due to map size, it would need to be played on two separate computer since two players cant drag the camera to see their side at the same time. Split screen could be a alternative however from personal experience split screen is rather hard to look at since its literally 2 screens, plus its kind of cheating if you can see what the other player is doing with your own eyes. My game wouldn't be exactly built for a coop experience. If my game was a FPS I think split screen would be quite beneficial.

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There's one example of good split screen above, plants vs zombies. Plants vs zombies garden warfare continues their splits screen into their second game garden warfare 2.

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Halo 2 split screen able to fit up to 4 players at once. 3 player split screen would would be terrible id say because you cant divide it up well, there will be one player with the most screen while the other get a smaller amount, screens are square shaped, either you would have one section of the screen a black square or have one player with a extra long screen. the best amount of split screens would be 2,4 nothing more. not too many that you cant see your own screen. Split screens doesn't really work in PvP because you can see each others screen this is not the case in the earlier example plants vs zombies since you share one screen.

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Star wars battlefront (2005) the best battlefront game in my opinion. Its split screen was simple but can fit up to 4. The split screen did suffer from weird camera angles inside vehicles primarily the star ships. Ill be honest most split screens have awkward camera angles. In all of these you will notice all split screens ever are Horizontal and not Vertical this is for our benefit, screens are made to be rectangles, you cant exactly make a good vertical split screen game, screens aren't designed that way.

Talking about split screens gave me another idea for a game, and to do with shapes at the same time. having a strategy pvp game that takes place with 4 players. I was thinking of a free for all card game, each player gets unique cards depending on who they are "the square player", "the triangle player", "the circle player" but wait there's no 4th shape. I would have to pick one. "the Octagon player" I honestly picked it for simplicity and that it uses other shapes in one. But it would be similar to Hearthstone

But back on Topic Id say split screen is a blessing and more finically better then having a separate computer, playing with a family member or a friend, nothing is realistically prefect and we just have to accept split screen even if it has its unfixable flaws outside the game.

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oohbuggypie · 8 months ago

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the simplest shapes u can use i think r circles for the head, a cylinder OR thinner sqaure for the neck, a rectangle for the torso, i honestly can't describe what shape the waist is im srry ill give a visual rep but continuing ,, circle for the hips, elongated ovals for the thighs down to the knees, circles for the knees, more elongated ovals for below the knees down to the ankles , and then little triangles for the feet ! at both corners of the rectangle should go little circles for the shoulders that will connect down to the arms, then at the halfway point from the arms should go a circle to differentiate the inner elbow from the rest of the arm, then continue and define where the hand will be so that the end of the fingertips will end at about the halfway point of the thigh :3 EXTREMELY ROUGH visual rep, i apologize srsly im made for trad art not digital lol

some basic anatomical advice:

-the legs are about half the length of the body; meaning that if u were to measure where the thigh begins to where the feet end and stack them up from where the hips end, the line should meet the head (displayed with the red lines to the left, mine is slightly off though im srry) !!

-the elbows bend at the waist

-the knees are at the halfway point of the entire leg length

-the neck's width is very similar to the width of your face ! thicker than you'd think !

-mentioned previously, the fingertips typically end at the mid point of the thigh

-the waist is the smallest point of the torso; usually not wider than the shoulders or hips

PLEASE NOTE ! everybody's body is different ! sooo so different ! that typical blueprint is perfect for beginning and throughout ur entire art journey but remember that the features on everyone's bodies are vastly different!

let's use PO!! Wii characters as examples:

Von Kaiser has wide thighs and a fairly wide waist, however it still has a cinch to it ! he also has a chest that protrudes, as well as broad shoulders. Tiger, on the other hand, has an inverted triangle shape to him with shoulders wider than his hips and a particularly small waist. in this case however, his chest doesn't come out as much as Kaiser's and, generally speaking, has a smaller frame entirely opposed to Kaiser.

then u have other body shapes like Macho and Piston !

Macho has broad shoulders, a small waist, wide hips and VERY long legs; he has a full frame and a very long one as well. Piston is similar in height, but he has relatively shorter legs and he has a very rectangular waist with hips similar in width ! all of this can vary the proportions on a character and how they'll look when u draw them ! my biggest tip is just observe the characters and break down their figures the way i just did - or more detailed for better results - and then draw them using references ! essentially every full body piece of art ive created uses this method and i find it so so helpful 🥹

examples below !

and im sure u can look at mine and recognize many anatomically inaccuracies ! it's apart of learning ! and pls remember, idk if u need to hear it or not .. but making good art does NOT need to revolve around correct anatomy . anatomy has been a struggle for every artist for millions of years ,, and it shouldn't define how much u enjoy ur own art 🩷 as long as u truly love / enjoy what ur doing and look at it with - if not love- at least admiration for your try and understand what u can improve on , then u have nothing to worry about ! THIS WAS GONNA B SO MUCH LONGERR BUT IM AT THE PICTURE LIMIT ,, this probably isn't that helpful honestly i know little to nothing about anatomy either so if ud like, ask some more experienced artists and artists whose strongsuit is anatomy ! if u wanna talk abt art generally more in reblogs or dms don't b afraid to hit me up ill get 2 it when i can 🩷 mwuah hope this helps even a teeeeny bit strawbs xx

ok so uhh sorry if this sounds dumb but can someone help me use simple shapes more in art? like its so difficult for me to push proportions since im a little shit at anatomy 💔💔 if u have any videos or guides about this topic pls share :(

#this took so fkn long to type and it still doesnt cover all i wanted 2 talk abt but it kind of strayed from the topic so ig its a good thing #srry if this is all stuff u knew already omg #BUT IF IT HELPS LMK ! 🩷

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hellspawnmotel · 2 years ago

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I love your art!! I really admire your work and I love your deltarune fanart, especially how you draw noelle :) whenever I look at your art I always feel like you have such a firm grasp on anatomy and all your drawings feel like they really exist in 3d space, and i love how the characters in your drawings are shaped :0 do you have any tips for a learning artist?

well gosh, after you buttering me up like that, how can i refuse? (jk but in all serious, thank you so much this is SO sweet) anyway, let's see, tips..... (this ended up turning into a whole tutorial lmao)

so one thing you'll hear a lot of artists say is to start with a warm up first, but not a lot about what "warming up" actually means. some people take that to mean they have to start with a whole other drawing, personally i find that takes away too much energy and i end up spending way more time on it than i want to. i like doodling little cubes and cylinders, but if i have something to color sometimes i just do that to warm up. whatever works for you best, just anything to get your hand used to the motion of drawing.

for starting the actual drawing it really is important to begin with a line of action. think of it as a basic guideline for how you want to pose a character. it will help the pose flow better, trust me. (im going to draw noelle bc obviously im pretty used to that)

some artists start with just the line, i like to do the guide for the head first and then the line, whatever

you dont absolutely have to follow the line for your pose btw its just good to have an idea of what youre doing before you do it

after that is when you start worrying about shapes, usually. an important thing to remember when drawing is that absolutely everything is made of shapes, first and foremost. humans, animals, objects, drawing anything starts with shapes. circles squares and triangles. this goes for drawing from life too! it's why you want to start with a light pencil or a sketch layer cuz this is the stuff youre gonna erase later, but it's essentially the skeleton of your drawing

btw, i give noelle a very basic "average thin teenage girl" figure but it's good to practice other body types too and learn what shapes work best for drawing those

you mightve heard the advice to "draw the person nude first and then draw the clothes on top of them" and that's only partially true- it's good to know what the shape of the body is before you dive in with the clothes but you dont have to do like, a whole nude model first. you just need enough to understand how the fabric is going to fall on the body

also, and this is sort of off-topic, but when it comes to clothes its good to understand how different fabric works and how it's going to react to a body underneath it. some fabric clings, some is very loose, some is thin and some is thick. basically what im saying is that you dont have to shrink-wrap the clothing to the body, especially when it comes to a character with breasts or anything else that sticks out. thats a mistake a lot of beginner artists make. in this case, noelle's robe is very loose but i still want it to conform to her body a little bit so the pose isn't totally lost

aaaaand there ya go! after all that is when im ready to actually draw the dang thing. you can tell if you look close that i didnt totally follow the guidelines i made for myself, and that's okay. for example i tend to almost always draw the head too small and then have to enlarge it afterwards. one of the perks of being a digital artist is i can make mistakes and not have to re-do the whole drawing to fix them.

one other thing as to how to get better at actually drawing the body right in the first place- FIGURE DRAWING! as cliche as it might sound it really helps. it's best to draw from life, but if you can't get into a class for it there are plenty of websites out there with good photography of nude models. i also reference a lot of my poses from those websites, or sometimes from videos of figure skating or ballet if i think the situation calls for it.

this is a good website for figure drawing practice- it lets you set a timer so you can practice getting a pose down quickly or spend a lot of time on one model, your choice

also, yknow, always make sure you're having fun and dont stress out too much about whether what youre drawing looks good. the more you draw, the better, and don't think you have to post everything to social media if you dont want to. draw for yourself first and foremost and observe from life and artists you admire what you WANT to draw and want to get better at, and what looks like fun. that's the most important part

#(im doing this to avoid having to write something else dont tell anyone)#i have no idea if this is a good tutorial or not or if its all stuff you already know #im basically parroting what i was taught in art school. so you dont have to go to art school

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deliriousgeek · 3 years ago

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Thomas Shelby x Wife Reader

Summary: A quiet evening meant for celebration is thrown into chaos. Y/n wills herself to play into the daunting role that comes with being Thomas Shelby’s wife, because it might be the only thing keeping her alive.

Masterlist

Tommy lowkey feels very oc so idk how to feel about that. im not good at writing suspense...its also very long. ha :,)

Warning: blood, guns, knives, fights, usual peaky blinder violence

If anyone knew Y/n Shelby, then they would know that she can’t stand seeing dead bodies. Although in her case, having that reaction would seem ironic, considering her husband was Thomas Shelby.

It was around 9pm when Y/n slipped her night robe off and lay back on her bed. Her night was just winding down and she was waiting for Thomas to get back. He said he would try to be home around midnight, and to not wait up. He and his brothers would be at the Garrison, celebrating Arthur’s return from prison and discussing what was to be done with the Jews and Italians next.

Y/n knew it would be a couple hours for Tommy to be home, so she settled onto their bed and grabbed a book off her night stand.

The room was bathed in a warm, orange and yellow light— the type of light candles can give. When she was home alone, Y/n liked to use candle light. It reminded her of a time before the war and before this gang business, when all she and Tommy had to worry about was getting enough candles to light up the dinner table.

Half an hour had passed and Y/n had gotten through a decent number of pages in her book. She felt her eyes drooping and decided it was time to call it a night. She stretched and cracked her neck before turning to place her book on the nightstand. Just as she was about to place the book down, she heard a creak downstairs.

She froze.

Tommy wasn’t supposed to be back until midnight and none of the Shelby family would come over this late without a call, that was their safety protocol.

She listened for more creaking.

After Tommy had bought their house he had insisted on replacing the creaky floor boards, but decided to keep a few. In certain spots, that could be easily avoided if one knew where to walk, the floor would still creak. It was a safety thing that Tommy and Y/n agreed would be good to have. If the floorboards downstairs still creaked after the first step, it wasn’t one of them.

Creak...creak...creak...

That wasn’t Tommy.

Y/n took in a deep breath as she put herself back into a sitting position on the bed. An intruder was in her house. At the moment, the Peaky Blinders had a lot of enemies. It could be anyone. Mostly, someone with a gun.

She listened as the person made their way upstairs. She could hear them passing Tommy’s office, and the guest bedroom. This person knew where their room was, and she could only deduce from their movement’s that they were coming for her.

Y/n was scared. She knew how to defend herself, but didn’t like doing it if she didn’t have to. Rolling her shoulders, she prepared herself for the inevitable. She’d have to fight tonight.

To be clear, Y/n Shelby wasn’t unable to fight. She was a pro at throwing knives, which she preferred to guns; much to Tommy’s dismay. She knew how to shoot a gun and could decently fare in hand to hand combat, but she was still scared. Her heart beat in her chest quickly and anxiety bubbled to the surface. A normal reaction to knowing someone broke into your house to hurt you, or worse. Y/n assumed it was the latter. However, instead of letting her fear show, she turned on her fake calmness. A trick she forced herself to learn as Thomas Shelby’s wife. The alarm that was spread across her face vanished, instead being replaced with an eerily calm facade.

There was no point in locking the door. The person knew how to get past those if he made it into their living room. She heard their steps stop at the front of her door, she raised her book to her face, pretending like she was reading.

Act calm. She told herself.

Then, the door burst open.

Back at the pub, the Shelby brothers were sitting around the table in the snug. Sharing laughs and taking on their third round of Whiskey.

“Alright boys,” Tommy began, placing his glass down and looking around the table. “We’ve had our fun, business begins now.” His content expression turned serious.

His other brothers, and cousin Michael, cleared their throats and straightened up.

“As you know, taking Arthur out of prison is a direct threat to the Sabini’s. It shows that even in London we have enough influence to get our own men out, if needed.”

The brothers nodded, and shared looks.

Tommy continued, “Getting Arthur out was our first move. Now it’s the Italian’s and the Jew’s turn but we don’t know when their next strike will be. So, from this moment on we have to be aware, alert, and ready for every—”

The door flew open.

Sir!” Out of breath, Isaiah stood with one hand on the door knob, looking at Tommy.

“Oi!” Arthur shouted. “You know better than to interrupt!”

Tommy nodded his head at Arthur, then turned to Isaiah. “What is it, lad.”

“Better be important,” John added.

“Sir, the Italians are here. My dad spotted them making their way down the lane. They got a group with guns and a car. We best hurry.” Isaiah said in a rushed voice.

With that all the Shelby men stood and placed their caps on, rushing out of the snug.

Upon noticing the urgency in which the brothers exited, the rest of the Peaky Blinders in the pub were at full alert, waiting for Tom’s next words. The crowd silenced as the brothers stood at the snug doors, facing the onlookers.

“If you aren’t a Peaky Blinder,” Tom eyed the crowd, “leave.”

Noise filled the bar again as chairs shuffled, cups were placed on tables, and the front doors opened and closed.

Tom didn’t speak again until there were only Peaky Blinders left. He pulled out his revolver and checked it, making sure there were bullets, before looking up again.

“Battle formation, men. The Italians are here.”

Then in a flurry of peaky hats and over coats, the rest of the men got into their positions. Some ran up the stairs to get the extra cases of shotguns and revolvers. Others pulled out their own handguns and checked them as well. The Shelby boys looked at each other, a silent way of saying ‘good luck’.

Once Tommy deemed every one armed, he nodded to Arthur, who shouted to move out.

The Shelbies were at the front, while everyone fell behind them in triangle formation. As they marched outside, they could see the group of Italians rounding the corner.

It was rather intimidating. An outline of men and guns on shoulders, a rather sizable group at that, illuminated by the truck headlights that followed behind. It was a sight to see.

Darby Sabini stood at the front, a shotgun slung over his shoulder.

As the groups marched towards each other and came to a stop, a man behind Thomas called out to the front. “At your command Sergeant Major.”

A hushed tone of agreement spread throughout the group.

Darby stepped forward. “Thought you could come on our turf and get away with it, aye?”

Tommy stepped forward as well, hands in his pockets. “It was meant as a friendly gesture, but I don’t think you have enough friends to know what that means.”

A small smirk made its way onto Tommy’s face as he stared Darby down.

Darby narrowed his eyes, irritated at that remark. “I’ll show you what friendly means. Now!”

A hail of gunfire began and the sound of shots being fired filled the lane. It was chaos. Bullets flew and body’s fell. Punches were thrown and blood was spread. More men jumped out of the covered truck and ran to beat down the men on the other side.

Tommy ducked and punched, kicked and shot. In the middle of punching a man in the gut he yelled, “Leave Darby for me!”

His men did just that.

Thomas fought his way to the center of the fight, where Darby had just knocked out a Peaky Blinder. Tommy aimed his gun and walked forward, aiming at Darby. The fighting on both sides ceased.

“I didn’t bring a battalion to your town.” Tommy spoke clearly, in a raised voice.

Darby aimed his gun as well. The two circled each other as men on both sides stopped to observe the interaction. They watched Tommy and Darby tread carefully, like two tentative predators waiting for their opposer to falter.

“You still showed up. That was enough.”

The two men were breathing heavily, a result from the brawls they just finished.

“What’s your purpose for being here, Sabini?” Thomas stopped pacing, his gun still firmly held up.

Darby stopped as well. An obnoxious laugh left his lips. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Tommy didn’t move. He held a blank face, but his eyes still watched Darby with intensity.

Not waiting for a response Darby continued, “I’m reminding you that I can take away everything you have in an instant. I already put your brother in jail, which it seems wasn’t a good enough warning for you, since you stupidly had him released so quickly.”

Darby took a couple steps toward Thomas, gun raised.

“Killing me won’t do anything. I got people in place to still ruin you.” Thomas stated, his tone flat.

Darby lowered his gun, a sickly calm smile spread across his face. It was an unsettling sight that made Tommy begin to think something was off.

“Oh Tommy boy, I’m just the distraction,” Darby’s eyes noticeably darkened, “How’s your wife these days?”

Tommy’s eyes widened and his finger pulled the trigger.

Darby fell to the ground dead, a bullet was lodged in the center of his forehead.

Then like a wave, the fighting began again.

As soon as the gunshot rang, Tommy saw red. He shot, punched, kicked or swung at anyone in his way as he fought to get out of the crowd. He didn’t bother shouting an explanation to his brothers as he ran to his car.

Tommy shoved his keys into the ignition and started the car. Tommy slammed his foot on the gas as soon as the engine roared to life. The car’s lights illuminated the carnage left from the battle. The Peaky Blinders were the last ones standing, as Tommy expected, but paid no mind to. His thoughts too consumed with conjuring the hundreds of horrible possibilities he might see upon arriving home, all ending with a bloodied image of Y/n.

John and Arthur ran towards the car, causing Thomas to slam on the breaks.

“Where are you going?” John asked urgently.

“They’re going for Y/n.” Thomas hastily replied.

John and Arthur jumped on the side of the car just in time before Tommy could speed up again.

Michael and Finn watched as the older Shelby boys passed them.

“Great. So we’re left to clean up the mess.”

At the house, Y/n held her book to her face as the door burst open. She turned her head and was met with the sight of a man pointing a gun at her. His clothes were clean and he looked very young. Her eyes flitted from the gun to his shoes, then to his eyes, then back to the gun.

“On your feet.” He demanded.

“What?” Y/n feigned innocence, despite her struggle to keep calm.

The man, gun still held towards her, trudged over and ripped the book from her hands, throwing it onto the floor.

“I said on your feet!” He yelled in her face, backing away so he was a few feet from the bed.

She stared into his eyes, an impassive look on her face. Y/n looked back down at the gun.

With a purse of her lips and a shrug she stated, “I’d rather not.”

The man’s soldier esc demeanor nearly slipped at her blatant defiance of his orders. “It’s not an option lady! Get up.”

She chuckled. “Y’see, lad. I’ve been on my feet all day. Have you ever worn heels for over six hours? Rather painful you know.”

Her cocky attitude betrayed her quickly beating heart that was full of adrenaline.

In an effort to scare her, he menacingly stepped forward. “I ain’t afraid to hurt you lady, but the boss wants you alive. If you keep disobeying me, I'm allowed to use force.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh really, and who is your boss? I must thank him for not wanting me dead.”

She knew she was playing with her life, but if this boy was as inexperienced as he looked, she would get the information she needed to warn Tommy. Granted, if she got out of this situation.

“Sabini.” The man bluntly answered.

Y/n swallowed. This wasn’t good. If Sabini’s men were here and not in London, she needed to warn Thomas immediately. Her heart pumped faster than she thought possible and every nerve in her body was on the verge of trembling from fear.

“I see.” Y/n turned her head to the foot of the bed. “Well, like I said, I’d rather not get up. Matter of fact, I’d rather keep reading. So be a dear and hand me my book, would ya?” She was stalling.

“C’mon lady, stop being stubborn. You don't even got a weapon to be making these demands.” The man sneered.

Y/n slowly adjusted herself so that she scooted away from the pillows that propped her up. She straightened her legs on the bed, her left crossed over her right. Then she leaned back on her arms, purposely pushing up her chest to show off her unbinded chest. Hopefully, he’d be dumb enough to look at her distraction, and he was.

“Ah, well. It was worth a shot. I can tell that you're new to this whole— kidnapping thing. If you want to get better at it then you should learn this.” She paused before looking back at the man, “Always do research on your target.”

The young man’s brows furrowed, obviously confused.

“If you did your research, like a good little gangster,” She began as she slid her left leg up off her right, causing her silk nightgown to slowly expose her leg. The man’s eyes roamed her leg once she stopped moving, leaving her left leg in a bent position. She reached for the hem of the dress and raised it further up her left leg, stopping until it got to her mid thigh, “Then you would know, that I’m always armed.”

In a swift and well practiced motion, Y/n grabbed the sharp, throwing knife from her thigh holster, and threw. The knife landed in the man’s chest, in his heart. Looking down at the knife, the man stumbled backwards, tripping over his own feet and falling onto his back. Blood quickly formed a growing splotch of red on his shirt. Y/n quickly stood from the bed to remove the gun from the man’s hand, she then crouched over him.

She placed her hand on the knife handle, “It was a shame you didn’t do your research.” Then she pushed the knife forward, until she felt through the blade that it had really punctured his heart.

Y/n stood over the man’s body, gun in her hand, and watched the blood puddle grow. She backed away until her knees hit the bed and gave way. Letting out a shaky breath, she sat with the gun in her lap. In an attempt to avoid looking at the body laid in front of her, Y/n stared at the ceiling.

The adrenaline began to wear off, and the reality of the situation dawned on her. She could have died, quite easily too. If her attacker had not been so inexperienced and if she wasn’t wanted brought back alive, she could have died. Then, she thought of her husband.

Tommy.

Had the man lying dead on her carpet opened the door and shot, Tommy would have had to come home to her dead body instead. The thought of Tommy finding her body, cold and bloody, scared her more than death. She couldn’t imagine the pain of him being alone. He would blame himself for her death. He would say he couldn’t protect her, and he would loathe himself for the rest of his life. Tears began to prick her eyes and her throat tightened. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears to go away and for her erratic heart beat to calm down.

She killed a man.

That’s the only thought she could process. Her emotions muddled her thinking. Never before had she used her knives to kill. She used guns, from far away. She used punches to knock people out. She used her knives to injure, but never before had she needed them to kill. She was slightly glad for the memory of Tommy coming back home from an errand, returning with the thin knife holster that he insisted she wear when he wasn’t home. She was also glad that she made it a rule for herself to never take it off unless Tommy was home with her.

Then, the silence of the house was broken again. She flinched. This time, the sound came from the front door slamming open and muffled shouts that she could only register as her name.

“Y/n! Y/n where are you?” The voice shouted.

She couldn’t pinpoint who it was, not in her boggled state of mind, but she knew it was safe. So she answered.

“In the bedroom.”

Her eyes were still shut and her head faced the ceiling when Tommy rushed in.

“Y/n.” His voice was slightly breathless as he took in the sight before him.

The room was covered in warm, candle light, giving a complete opposite tone to the tense atmosphere. His wife sat on the bed with a gun in her lap. A man, with his wife’s knife in his chest, laid dead on the ground and a puddle of blood surrounded his wound.

Y/n opened her eyes and looked at her husband. She could see the fear and worry that filled his eyes, his face in slight shock.

Thomas was relieved to see his wife unharmed, but he could see the tears that were threatening to fall. Her slumped shoulders were signs of exhaustion. The way her chest moved up and down with heavy breathes told him she was on the verge of holding herself together.

Arthur and John came bounding up the stairs next, and found their places on either side of Thomas.

Y/n’s voice came out void of emotion, but her teary eyes said it all. “One of Sabini’s men.” She stated before turning her eyes to the ceiling once more, trying to blink away tears. “Please get him out of my sight.” The growing puddle of blood made her want to throw up.

“You heard her,” Thomas said in a low tone, staring at his wife with concerned eyes. “Get rid of ‘em.” His voice was just above a whisper.

Arthur and John stepped forward, grabbing the man by his arms and lugged him out of the room. Only once the man had been removed did Thomas walk towards his wife. Only when he wrapped his arms around her did she let herself cry. She let herself sob and express how truly scared she was when the man burst into her room, and pointed a gun to her head.

Thomas held her close and kissed her head. He whispered in her ear that she was okay, and that she did what she needed to do. Holding her close, he told her he loved her, and promised to never let anything like that happen to her again.

Masterlist

well I tried

Edit: Bro this blew up in less than a day with 41 notes. Thank you♡

#thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby x wife reader #thomas shelby x wife reader #peaky blinders imagine #thomas shelby imagine #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby wife imagine #thomas shelby x hurt reader #thomas shelby x reader protect #peaky blinders x reader #thomas shelby wife imagine

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wintervalewriter · 3 years ago

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honey honey V ending one 1.0

i HOPE that this is easy to see what chapter fits where. this is where honey honey officially splits up. the beginning of this chapter will be the same as the next one. i will put triangles at where the new part starts in this chapter and the next!

word count: 2644 warnings: same as squid game, major character death, cursing

honey honey masterlist

tags: @dorizone

Triangle pushes open the door that you were in front of. It matches perfectly with the decor, no one would know that it was a real door unless you had been told. But Triangle knows.

All that he has to do is take you through the halls and get to the room of the Frontman. He has to get you inside of the office, only then he can assure your safety.

"Don't make a sound."

You look up at him with a scared look. Just seconds ago you had said goodbye to Gi-Hun, ready to give your life in return for his safety, but now you are being dragged through the halls. He breathes in deeply before gripping his gun.

"I talked to the Frontman. We only have to reach the office and I promise you," he whispers. "I promise you that we will make it."

Frontman? That must be the person that is running all of these games. But how could Jun-Ho talk to him? He isn't even allowed to talk to the Squares without permission, so how could he have gotten to the Frontman all on his own?

Triangle slowly opens all the doors, making sure that no one can see them. They are far away from where the players normally walk, and all he can do is pray that no one spots them. You carefully follow him, making sure to walk as softly as you can. You have been pronounced dead during the Marble Game already, so if they would spot you it would not be good. Especially not if you are together with Jun-Ho.

Your heartbeat gets faster with every door you open. Especially when you hear movements behind the door next to you. 'Please, if we run into someone, let it be a Circle,' Jun-Ho thinks. The Circle wouldn't even be able to say anything, as they are the lowest in this game. He wouldn't even be able to talk to the Triangle.

But your luck seems to be running out as the door opens.

Fuck.

Triangle pushes you behind him, shielding you from whatever lays behind the door. The heavy footsteps get closer, stopping right in front of the two of you. You can hear the sound of the scanner as it scans Triangle his mask.

"Number 29," you hear.

You got to be kidding.

The fact that he has the scanner and speaks up first only confirms that it is a Square.

"Aren't you supposed to be working in the game?"

Triangle nods, gripping his gun tightly. Hopefully, he is covering you enough. Seconds seem like hours as the Square looks at him.

"The game just ended, sir."

The other man hums, his eyes not leaving Triangle. He is about to turn away when he sees the familiar greenish-blue fabric trembling behind the soldier.

"Number 29, step away."

Triangle firmly stands as he grips his gun tighter. He will not- He can not step away. it would be too dangerous to reveal the person behind him. Square groans when Triangle doesn't move.

"I said, step away."

When he still doesn't move, Square grips your arm, pulling you away from behind Triangle. He looks down at the number on your shirt before leaning down, only centimeters away from your face.

"Player 074," he mumbles, "So you have survived the marble game."

You nervously nod, too scared to speak.

"Not without help, did you?"

Triangle flinches as he keeps his eyes on you. No one except for the Frontman knew about how he has helped you. He grips his gun tightly, holding it ready just in case he has to shoot.

"Just like the doctor. He was helped too," Square starts, gripping your chin. "He knew what the next games would be. Which made these games unfair. The only place where everyone has an equal chance, yet he had decided to take it for granted."

Both you and Triangle are shocked when he grabs your chin, getting a little too close for your comfort.

"We thought that it would only be him. Harvesting the organs of each and every deceased player just to know what game will be next. It's what people do for money, in hopes to get back to their families or... Loved ones."

You look from Square to Triangle, panic settling in.

He knows.

It's almost like you can see the grin underneath the mask of the Square. The harsh reality of the games. Not everyone is like Jun-Ho. Not everyone cares about you, not everyone wants you to succeed. Especially not the man in front of you.

Square steps closer to you, almost squishing you in between the wall and his chest. Triangle clenches his jaw before pointing his gun at his superior. He is not supposed to do this, but there is only so much he can do. And at this moment, the only way for you to survive is to kill his boss. Square just scoffs, standing straight up.

"We have to go to the Frontman," Triangle says, his voice clear and strong.

But the Square doesn't listen. He just bursts out laughing.

"As if the Frontman will listen to a soldier," he spits out. "These games are designed and created for people to have a fair chance to win! We can't just let everyone survive just because we like them. Did you not see what happened to the doctor?"

Triangle doesn't move, his gun still aimed at the Square. You don't know what to do. You gave up your life for Gi-Hun, but this isn't what you had expected. Something seems to click in the Square's head before he steps back.

"Alright," you can hear his grin. "If you don't want me to do it, then you can go ahead."

Jun-Ho his heart almost stops as he looks at the Square. He has to be fucking kidding.

"You're already holding the gun," Square shrugs. "Fire it."

Tears fill your eyes yet again as you look up at Triangle. This can't be real, right? Triangle looks at his superior, a shocked face behind his mask as his hands start trembling. His breathing becomes uneven as he tries to understand it all.

"Didn't you hear me? Fire it."

Triangle grits his teeth. Normally, he would obey whatever one of the Squares would tell him. But now, he wishes he had picked the job to be a manager. Everything he has done in the games he now regrets. He's so close to the office, if he picks you up he might be able to get there if he runs fast.

"Don't even think about it."

In the time where Triangle was zoning out, the Square had grabbed you by your shoulders. The small revolver that is normally in the waistband of the Squares, is now resting on your temple. You are shaking, frozen in your place as your eyes have filled with tears.

"Either you do it, or I will. You know that you can't cheat at this game!" The Square yells, pushing the gun further into the side of your head. "So I give you a fucking choice. Either you do it, or I will."

"Just give me a second!" Jun-Ho screams back, the gun shaking in his hands. "I-I can't just... How do you fucking expect me to do this?"

The Square huffs, swinging around the gun as he talks.

"You know full well that this game is supposed to be fair. Do you not fucking get it? You will end up like that doctor and his little friends. Is that what you want? Because that is your last choice," he groans. "This is your last fucking chance. Either you do it, or I will. And I won't be nice about it."

Then something clicks in his head. He can't get around. There is no way that he can get out of this right now. In his head, he starts praying, praying that his brother would walk through the door right this second and then he could leave, together with you. But that wouldn't happen. So he starts praying again, this time asking for forgiveness from his brother, his parents, you.

"Jun-Ho," you whisper as you look up at him. "Is this it?"

Your voice breaks in the last sentence as tears start streaming down your face. All you wanted was for you and your friends to get out, restart your lives. Go back to school, show your parents what you had accomplished, maybe even meet up with Jun-Ho and never think about the games again. But this was it.

It was too good to be true.

This game isn't meant for love. It isn't to find friends.

You either win or lose.

Cheaters never win.

"You know what," The Square grins. "I will make the choice for you. You'll be the one to do it."

The tone of his voice is almost playful as if he completely enjoys seeing the couple in front of them in this situation.

"How romantic is that?" He pushes you against Triangle, clapping his hands. "You already knew that this would never work out. So, why not clean up your own mistakes?"

Jun-Ho knows that he will not be able to live with himself if he would be the one that pulls the trigger.

"We just need to get to the Frontman-"

"And what will he do for you, huh?!" Square screams. "That fucker cares about no one, especially not about a soldier like you."

"It's okay."

Your soft voice stops the screaming match between the two. You had accepted your fate, even if it was not what you were dreaming of. You gave up your life for Gi-Hun, fully expecting to die. If someone were to pull the trigger, you would rather have it be Jun-Ho. Even if you were only to feel his touch for a second more.

The Square smirks behind his mask, stepping back one step before gesturing for Jun-Ho to do what he has to do.

But Jun-Ho knows that he can not do this. Not if he can walk away without any physical scratches. So, he would break a rule one last time.

'Always wear your mask outside your room.'

He pushes off the hood of his jacket before ripping his mask off, throwing it to the ground. You gasp, looking up into his eyes. You can't believe that this is only the second, but also the last time you would ever see him. And he broke a rule yet again. Even the Square seems shocked, or at the very least confused.

But Jun-Ho knows the consequence of the rule he had broken. He would not leave this room alive. He looks down at you with teary eyes as he quickly pulls you against him, tightly wrapping his arms around you.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice cracking as tears flow down his cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

You shake your head, tightly grabbing onto him as you only wish to feel his touch once more. He takes off his gloves before putting his hands on your cheeks. Jun-Ho presses a kiss on your forehead before leaning down to give you a kiss on your lips. In any other situation, this could be romantic. Any but this one.

"It's okay," you whisper, leaning into his touch. "I hope my friends win."

Even in your last moments, you still find a way to prioritize the others. But you do. You hope they win, and you hope that they get to live on. And hopefully, you will live on in their memory. You take one last look at Jun-Ho's face before sobbing, clinging on to him for the time you still have.

Jun-Ho tightly wraps his arms back around you, whispering sweet words in your ears.

"Don't worry, okay?" His voice trembles. "You will be fine. After this, we will return to our normal lives. You go to school, right? I can visit you every break you have. Bring you lunch."

You smile through your tears before nodding.

"We can go to this cute cafe, it's right next to my school," you whisper. "Although I might be too nervous to call it a date."

Jun-Ho nods, pressing a kiss on your forehead again.

"I will surprise you with flowers every chance I get. I will wear my nicest suit to meet your parents."

You let out a gasp when he mentions your parents. You would never see them again. You grip him even tighter than before, burying your face in his neck.

"We can even live together. Invite your friends over."

"I would love to," you say, "I'm a good cook."

Jun-Ho lets out a sob when he reaches for the gun in his belt, his trembling hands grabbing it before looking up.

"It's okay," you whisper, a small smile on your face. "I trust you. We will see each other again, right?"

"I will be waiting for you. At the cafe, next to your school."

The last thing he does is take off his hair tie, slipping it onto your wrist before looking at the Square on his right. The Square raises the gun he was holding, aiming it at the head of Jun-Ho.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you most."

Jun-Ho breathes in deeply as you tighten your grip on him. He rests the barrel of the gun on your head, kidding your forehead once more before putting his finger on the trigger.

"I will see you there."

And as he pulls the trigger, so does the Square.

"Player 074, eliminated." The robotic voice says for everyone in the sleeping quarters to hear.

Gi-Hun had already explained to the rest of his team what you had done for him, how you had sacrificed yourself to let Gi-Hun live. But why would they only say your name now? Maybe the system was slow. 001 rests his hands on Gi-Hun his shoulder with a smile.

"She will be fine," he says with a knowing tone.

The Square looks down at the two bodies in front of him, still clinging onto each other even when death. Rules are rules, and they are not meant to be broken. Soon enough some Circles arrive, placing both you and Jun-Ho in the black boxes, decorated with a bow.

It's morning, and the Triangles and Squares walk into the sleeping quarters.

"Players, we are very sorry to announce that these games have been unfair."

A couple of the players raise their eyebrows, looking at the Square who is talking.

"As we mentioned before, these games are to create an equal chance for everyone, no matter their background or history. These games have to be equal for everyone, no matter what connection they have to our workers. Be it as family, friends, or lovers."

The doors behind the masked people open back up, revealing Circles and the familiar black boxes with the contrasting pink bows.

Did someone die throughout the night?

The Circles stop in the middle of the room before lifting up the lid.

Everyone looks around, who had died? Some people take a step closer to the boxes when they notice that they were occupied already. Gi-Hun gasps when he spots the number on the jacket before running towards the box.

He doesn't care about your relationship with the soldier, all he cares about is that you had to die like this. He sees you as a daughter, as a friend.

"We sincerely apologize that we have allowed this to happen. We have taken the appropriate actions. Let this be another warning."

Gi-Hun lets out a loud scream, grabbing your cold hands as he hopes that you will just wake up, that all of this is a stupid dream, and that you would return.

But you never did.

And you never will.

#honey honey #squid game imagine #squid game imagines #squid game series #squid game oneshot #pink soldier #squid game #pink soldier imagine #pink soldier x reader #pink soldier oneshot #pink soldier series

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myonlypen · 1 year ago

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I've not had an excuse to write this before but can I just saw how much I LOVE these flags, purely from a vexillological standpoint? I haven't done any research into the intended meaning of aspects of these flags, this is purely my interpretation: if my interpretations are anything close to the intended ones then that makes them great flags though!

The first one, the standard LGBT pride flag. Usually you want to keep the number of colours on a flag to a minimum to avoid business or eye-hurtiness. But on this one the use of lots of colours is deliberate. To me, it is very good at representing what it stands for: inclusivity. As far as I know, I could be wrong, the colours don't stand for specific things, and that's a good thing because they can stand for anyone who feels like it represents them. And the simple design means the multiple colours works, and each stripe being the same size helps reinforce the concept of equality. It's also easy to remember which order the colours come in, because it's just the rainbow. If you accidentally draw them in the wrong order, you can just turn it upside down and you've done it correctly now! Some people are taught that the rainbow has 7 colours and while there's no "correct" answer for that, 6 is definitely more sensible answer because indigo and violet are just purples. Newton only chose 7 when he was playing about with prisms for mystical reasons. I'm glad this flag is on my side in thinking that 6 is a better count.

I'm not a fan of the more recent pride flags with the triangle on the hoist. I understand why they were made: some groups want to exclude some people from the LGBT+ label so the flags that add colours for e.g. trans are made to explicitly say "yes, including them too!" but I feel like that's sort of ceding ground by allowing the claim that the original flag didn't represent them. From a design point of view they're not great because they compromise the simplistic design which makes my "too many colours" complaint more valid. Plus the stripes aren't all the same size any more due to the triangle so I can't argue the equality interpretation. That, and, they're harder to draw from memory which is important for flags. Once I get to the triangle I'll have to remember which other flags' colours were incorporated into it and in which order. And perhaps this last complaint is a little cynical but I also get a bit of a consumerist vibe; "there's a new pride flag this year, please buy our new thing with the updated design. gib money plz"

But the trans flag? That's my favourite of the lot! Blue and pink are colours associated with the gender binary, at least in the English speaking world. At first I felt a bit put off by this because it felt like somewhat reinforcing gender roles. What if you're a guy who likes pink or a girl that likes blue? But then I thought about it some more. The colours aren't very deep so it isn't putting those associations front and centre. In fact, the pastel colours make it really easy on the eyes too, I could look at this flag for hours! The horizontal like of symmetry is also effective; the fact that the blue and pink are reversed on top and bottom communicates that it's about both trans men and trans women and doesn't privilege one over the other, and the white in the middle represents non-binary people. Of course, that could be seen implying that gender is a one-dimensional spectrum with the the binary on either end which may not be the case but there's only so much you can represent on a flag. On a lot of flags, I find that white space doesn't look like a part of the design but just part of the canvass that wasn't filled in (like, Japan isn't a red circle on white, it's just a red circle and the rest is blank) - but with this flag the white actually looks like it's part of the design and it works.

The bisexual I don't have as much to say about because I don't see it as often as the other two. You'd think that a flag representing "bi" would be a bicolour flag. But it's not! Because it doesn't represent one or the other, it represents both or either! Whether the two things it represents are straight and gay relationships, or gay and lesbians, the thin line in the middle means it doesn't matter to those who this flag represents. Magenta is also a top-tier colour so that boosts its likability rating too.

Flag Wars Bonus Round

Happy Pride Month!

These flags were close on their results for second place in the previous pride flag poll, so I decided to make a poll with just these flags.

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yandere-sins · 4 years ago

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omg the idea of yandere, silent, stoic kitsune suna lives in my mind rent free😳 also your writing is so good!! i love all your haikyuu posts, they’re so thrilling, they always have me on the edge of my seat with my heart in my throat. the suspense and world building is just too good!

Aww thank you so much ;; That’s so nice of you ♥ I am very glad you are able to enjoy my writing that much!!

Also anon, hands down my head’s full of kitsune and gods too lately... I gotchu--

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

In a way, you felt sentimental, thinking back to the little fox you met on your way home from work. The way it watched you, its tail slowly wagging up and down, and the tiniest sounds it made as it followed you home, paws scratching over the asphalt. You were too scared to get closer than two arm lengths, but your lips still curled into a smile when you looked over your shoulder, its eyes darting up to yours, and it stopped, careful of your actions. As if it wanted to be by your side, yet, not in a way that you’d know.

You had been so thoughtful feeding it as it settled in the forest behind your house. Thrown little pieces of meat towards it or used tongs to hand it over to its maw. There was definitely enough respect between the two, but you had to admit you also spoiled it a little with cooking an extra portion of dinner for it and putting out blankets for it to curl up in on rainy days. It’s not like it hurt someone, or bothered anyone. You two merely worked up a tender relationship, and it’s not like that wasn’t your intention when you began to engage more with it.

So why did you feel ridden with regret, now that it returned your affection?

It - or he, you were still figuring that out on the go - didn’t change, even as the fox’s body contorted, claws turning into long fingers, fur into hair. Just his eyes always stayed the same, unreadable and, to you, a bit scary. There was no grand reveal or even a simple introduction. “Suna,” he said, tapping his own chest as he approached. Thankfully, your body knew better than your mind to counter his steps with your own, always one step further back than he was.

He seemed to get the hint, his eyes lingering on yours for a second more before he stopped, his head turning side to side, tilting slightly up and down as he inspected his surroundings. “W-Who...?” you croaked, gripping tightly into the cushions of your couch behind which you hid from him, gaining some distance.

“Are you not listening? Suna,” he repeated, sharp, bright irises focusing back on you. “Why didn’t you shoo me away?”

It was an untypical question, really. However, you weren’t sure what you expected from a man - or at least creature - with a pair of triangle-shaped, fluffy ears peaking from his black hair and an oversized tail still wagging after him. “What are you doing in my house?!” you threw back, rightfully unnerved by the appearance of him after you just got home that day.

No one in your family or friend circle would have been allowed to simply enter and enjoy the comforts of your home without your knowledge, and this person certainly wasn’t even one of either. You wished you could have said that you had never seen him before, but your gut told you otherwise.

“I felt like coming in. Being outdoors all day can be quite exhausting, you know?”

A moment of silence hung between you, though he never so much as blinked in the time that you two stared at each other. On an animal, sure, those sly, focused eyes were quite cute, but they were nothing short of unnerving on a human. Wait, you thought.

“The fox.” The realization hit you as you took an instinctive step further back. Suna’s ears peaked up at that, and for a brief moment, a smile laid on his lips, showcasing a rare case of pride in his expression. Was he proud of you for figuring it out? Or proud of his own origins? You couldn’t tell. But as quick as the change of face came, he dismissed it, taking a deep breath. It was neither a confirmation nor rejection of what you just realized, but he didn’t seem keen on pondering over it. “So why didn’t you shoo me away? Don’t you know that animals come back if you feed them?”

Why is it you’re so surprised? he seemed to want to ask, unable to put it into proper words. Your throat felt dry as your thoughts finally caught up with what you wanted to say, and you gulped once, wondering how to answer this. “It’s still a living creature... I just wanted to help it out.”

As if you could read his mind, the deadpan expression on his face shifted only slightly, telling you what he thought about your sentiment. Truly, he didn’t seem like he needed help with food. If anything, he had devilishly good looks, no signs of malnutrition showing under the sand-colored kimono he wore.

It was hard to converse with him, but it was just as hard to keep eye contact. Something about him, may it be his posture or the extra limbs he displayed, made you restless, not least because you saw him shift from something akin to a fur monster to nothing short of a man out of a fairytale. Your mind was so driven by curiosity that you almost didn’t hear the urges of your body. Why was he here? What made him follow you in the first place? What was he? All questions that troubled you, yet, all your shivering knees and nervous lip-biting told you, was to get away. After all, looks and reality were two different things. He might look intriguing and yet be dangerous under those brilliant eyes.

“What are you...?” you managed to bring forth eventually. However, before you even spoke your last word, he silently passed you, and you jumped out of his way, watching in shock as he closed the door to your garden through which he must have come in. Almost as if he had waited for you to make a run for it. As if he had given you a chance, at least.

“Are you really that curious?” he asked, closing in the distance much too fast for your comfort. You barely had time to move before he gripped your wrist, his fingers abrasive against your skin. “For starters, I’m hungry, so feed me.”

Instantly, you felt appalled by his touch, but even more so his request. “How dare you...!”

“I’ll find something if you don’t hurry,” he interrupted you, never giving you the time to speak out your emotions at him. Instead, he lifted his hand, gnarly, sharp fangs protruding from a row of white as he pulled your fingers to his lips. With his tongue licking at your fingertip, you had only seconds to pull your hand away, stumbling and losing your footing as you took quite a few steps back. You could have already seen your finger being caught between his teeth and the thought alone sent a shiver down your spine.

“No!” you yelled out, only sparing a short glance at your hand to see if everything was still okay. It wasn’t long that an obvious growl of a stomach made its way to your ear, and for some reason, you couldn’t help but take his demand very seriously after the show he put on. “I will get some! Stay- Stay here so long!” you instructed. With an anxious glance over your shoulder, you ran off into the kitchen next to the living room, rummaging through your fridge.

How adorably frightened you were. Annoying to deal with still, but not as bad as other humans were when he appeared. Suna knew he’d have to hide and wait if you were to call someone for help or leave the house without him, but you had yet to find out how much fun he’d have with you. The more you’d try to keep him away, the more eager he’d become to be by your side. That had always been the case with the humans that thought he was too adorable to keep away.

Suna loved the look of you fussing in the kitchen, trying to prepare anything for him. Even though you told him to wait, he couldn’t help but follow on quiet soles, roaming around you and taking in the scents mixing under his nose of the food and you. He couldn’t be bothered with the other foxes’ opinions about humans. Not when you were so much fun to hang around, reacting to even the most subtle of his actions as if you were a rabbit rather than a proud human.

But you, on the other hand, would have to learn how to deal with the constant, watchful eyes in your back and the mischievous smile playing over his lips when you weren’t looking.

Especially now, when he wasn’t going to leave the hand that was feeding him anytime soon.

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spotsupstuff · 3 years ago

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I need to know how you got your art to be so expressive and flowy. It's so beautiful and I always love seeing your work.

JKDSMGK,,,,,,

THANK YOU SM THATS SO SWEET OF YOU

IM,,, GON TRY TO EXPLAIN MY ART THOUGHTS,,,

For the expressive part, it’s either about paying close attention to cartoons with good expressions OR checkin your own face out in the mirror!! For more realistic elements in my drawn expressions (even if they are supposed to be cartoon-y/anime-y, addin in some realism logic will enhance ‘em) I have either taken inspo from my own mug, my partner’s or my sister’s since we are all very facially animated. Checkin how your own face moves with Certain feeling is a varified way to get a nice expression on the paper. The movement of the facial muscles is very important to get somewhat a hang of, after all BUT!!! Important part to expressions is that you don’t focus Only on the face, the whole body moves along with a person. Hunched shoulders or a bit lowered head can do a lot for communication of an expression Especially in cartoons, there’s a rule that you should push an expression to it’s fullest potential. I also think about some ideas from stuff like traditional chinese threatre. They put on make up and elaborate costumes to enhance their features, so their expressions and character can pop out better

For the flowy part,,, bbrppbrrpbbb I have no idea how and when I started to do stuff more fluid

My art used to be quite stiff and for the longest time I defualted to thin and sharp lines

This was mostly because going Sharp and eliminating more rounder parts made sense in my head and helped me somewhat learn anatomy better. At least, in some cases it gave me a lesson about the torso to arms proportions n also kinda the legs. It’s why I recommend just kinda entering a stage where you just try and make sense of things, whether it be geometry, perfect straight lines or the more spherical ball things Ever. Going with the “basic shapes” like a circle for the head, triangle for the torso n so on might not be smth that will click in your brain

I was KINDA obsessed with learning anatomy as soon as possible even tho you don’t really have to go after that. One time I saw a pyramid of needs but like for artistic learnin and anatomy/realism were somewhere far on the top. Just go after what sparks the most joy, basically, but I didn’t know that back then so after every shower I would check out how my own body looks like from different angles. Yknow, thumbing where the rib cage ends, how does a shoulder connect to the torso, what the fuck is an armpit and how in the complete shittery does the neck connect to the head from the front

Cut like two years later, I think I’m enterin the Flowy arc

For the flowy, you KINDA disregard everything u’ve learned about anatomy Except the general idea of the proportions. I like to think about my drawings as part of an animation. From the picture that I’m making, there has to follow another and before it were also a few hypothetical drawings and together they gotta make up a movement. If I can’t see my drawing moving in my head, I’m not gon be too happy bout it

The main thing you want is a line of action:

And then you just,,, kinda build the body around it

Finding a brush that feels good and lets you develop a sketch style that makes u happy and lets you figure out where what goes cleanly also helps out. For me it was Luv and the the more faint sketch lines that u see up there ☝ give me enough space to be KIIIIIINDA messy about it but not overbearingly so to the point that I don’t know what’s goin on anymore

Practice, practice, take inspiration, study other people’s styles, disrespect anatomy, practice some more, don’t put too much expectations on yourself, don’t take every art “advice” too much to heart, let go of perfectionism, practice and you’ll get it!

#Spot says stuff #important thing about art i think is open-mindness. you want to find new ways to go about things n not get stuck on a thing #once saw an 'advice' that said one shouldnt make lineart like. allign. n i said 'like fuck im gon do that thats one of the Main Bitch-#-things of my style and it SLAYS' so basically do whatevs that feels good n not what peeps tell u to do

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sunflowershouto · 3 years ago

Text

only us - part one (daichi x f!reader x oikawa)

𝐚/𝐧: hi beans! i got this idea for a series listening to one of my favorite albums and i really hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!! there is some canon divergence just for the purposes of the story: daichi is a detective, and oikawa is a pro-player in japan. as always, any feedback is greatly appreciated! enjoy! -leo

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After getting out of a long term relationship, Y/N is reunited with an old friend from college. Old feelings are reignited, but things just don't seem to work out the way that they should.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: pining, mentions of infidelity in the context of a past relationship

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: slowburn, love triangle 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.8k

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨: animal - annie eve

❝𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒊'𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕. . .❞ ❝𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏 𝒊 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆. . .❞

𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐔𝐒

‧₊˚✩彡.

The previous weeks had been what Y/N could only describe as a gravity-well, the center of which she was trapped in. She couldn’t outrun the heaviness in her chest, and her mind was all spinning circles and revolving doors that were moving too fast for her to escape from.

However, the pace of her career was relentless, and being a journalist meant that there was no time for her to take pause or wallow in the misery of a freshly-ended relationship—if she wanted to survive in her field, she would have to keep moving and moving and moving, with that gravity-well following overhead.

The soles of her shoes clicked softly against the linoleum tile of the Tokyo Police Department’s main office, her demeanor giving away none of the turmoil that was simmering within. She was polite and professional as she explained that she was a journalist there to speak to one of the detectives about a case she was working on, and to any onlooker, she might have even seemed cheerful.

She was led down a long hallway into one of the offices, given a seat in front of a large mahogany desk, and told to wait.

Y/N found that as of late, she hated having any sort of down-time that might force her into stillness. She couldn’t see the clock that hung over the doorway behind her, but she could hear it—she could feel it. It ticked monotonously, and with each forward stroke of the second hand, she felt like she was sinking further and further into herself. The heaviness in her chest crept up on her and became crushing as she was allowed time to think: about the sight of someone she didn’t recognize lying in her bed, lying in the arms of her partner. About the signs that she had been ignoring for the weeks leading up to it. About how silent her apartment was when she came home in the evenings when there was no one else there to fill the space. It had been months, and she was still trapped as though it had all happened yesterday.

She tapped her foot impatiently against the ground, challenging the slow rhythm of the clock as though the frenzied tempo of her agitation could force the seconds to pass faster.

Eventually, the door behind her swung open, and the detective stepped into the room.

“Excuse me for being so late,” came a deep and almost familiar voice from behind her. She stood and turned to face him, eager for something to snap her out of her trance, but was forced back into stillness as recognition settled over her. “Daichi?”

Sure enough, earnest dark eyes stared into her own, and for a moment, as a wide grin split across his face, the gravity-well that loomed over her finally seemed to let up.

He stepped towards her, both of them abandoning any semblance of formality. “Y/N, I can’t believe it’s really you. It’s been…” “Forever,” she supplied, flashing him a warm and sheepish smile.

“Yeah. Forever.” Daichi’s gaze was piercing as he took her in, staring for just a moment too long before moving to take his place behind his desk. He carded through a few files on his desk before pulling one rather decisively from the stack.

It was Y/N’s turn to stare, taking in the way he moved about his surroundings with relaxed authority, as though he knew exactly where he belonged. He hadn’t changed at all since college, not one bit. She couldn’t take her eyes away, even as he glanced up at her through his lashes, head still tilted down towards the papers in his hands.

She was stuck like that, lost in his dark and steady gaze, her heart seeming to stutter to life in her chest.

“L/N?”

‧₊˚✩彡.

“L/N! Don’t get too far ahead!” Daichi scolded lightly, fondness in his eyes as he watched Y/N skip ahead of him, carnival lights reflecting like stars in her eyes. Her joy was contagious to him, like a flame in his hands that he wanted to keep kindling and protecting.

“Stop being such a worry-wart, Dai,” she laughed over her shoulder. Her arms were wrapped adamantly around the plushie that he’d won her just a few minutes ago, a blue penguin that smiled vacantly no matter how tightly she squeezed him. “Do you think we could go on the Ferris Wheel? I bet we could see the whole city from the top!” He nodded, quickening his pace to keep up with her. They were walking side by side now, and Daichi had made plans for this exact scenario—he’d brush his hand gently against hers, and find a natural opening to intertwine their fingers. The only thing that stood in the way was the round blue penguin that she had named ‘Squish.’ He shot a sidelong glare down at the unassuming plushie that was currently occupying Y/N’s arms, mentally cursing the stupid thing for ruining his plans. “One ride on the Ferris Wheel, and then home, alright? You have a lecture tomorrow and you’ll be grouchy tomorrow if you stay out so late.”

Y/N turned to face him in mock-offense, sticking her tongue out and hugging Squish closer. “What? I don’t get grouchy!”

“Maybe ‘unpleasant’ would be a better wor—agh!” He broke out into warm laughter as her elbow collided softly with his side, and he held up his hands defensively as if to finally relent. “Alright, alright!” “I’ll have you know, I am delightful always,” she insisted, beaming triumphantly.

And there was that smile again, the one that felt like fire in his hands and made his mind go blank and his body feel like there was lightning inside. “Yeah,” Daichi agreed softly.

‧₊˚✩彡.

“And that’s the basics of what we have so far. Unless we have some sort of solid proof, I have no way to make the arrest. It’s been months and… Nothing,” Daichi sighed wearily, flipping the case-file shut and leaning back in his desk chair, a frown etched deep into his features. His coat was draped across the back of his chair and his shirtsleeves were rolled up to his elbows, markers of the hours that had passed since he and Y/N had begun discussing the Suzuki case.

The department had been investigating Goichi Suzuki for years, with strong suspicion that his company was partially a front for drug-trafficking. Evidence had always been circumstantial, and leads seemed to disappear as soon as they turned up, frustrating even the best of the department’s detectives. Sawamura, however, had refused to give up.

“Daichi.” Her voice was clear, almost lyrical, as she addressed him. Her own concerns were momentarily abandoned as she worked to tether him, to pull him out of the frustration that she knew could be so crippling. “We’re going to catch him.”

“Right.” His expression seemed lighter now, lifted in determination and renewed confidence. “Well… That’s about all we can do today until you can speak to your sources. Thank you for agreeing to help me, Y/N.” It wasn’t what he was saying, so much as how he was saying it—nothing he had said, if repeated back on paper, would sound anything but professional and polite. It was the way that his eyes shone, and his voice warmed up to her like honey on a hot day that told her that his ‘thank you’ was more than just business. She was almost suffocated by how deeply she had missed him, but she knew what this was—she was starting to rebound. She had just gotten out of a relationship that had ended in a messy breakup. Of course her old feelings would be amplified, especially when he was being so damn inviting.

“Of course, Daichi.” She could only watch as he pushed himself out of his chair and circled around to the other side of his desk, then took perch on the front corner just in front of her, his body language now completely casual.

He tilted his head slightly as he took a closer look at her, his face scrutinizing but not-quite judgemental. “So. What’s wrong?”

“Huh?” Y/N shrunk back beneath his gaze, suddenly much more conscious of how she was holding herself, what she was presenting to the world around her. Stop looking at me like that, damnit… Had she really made it so obvious that she was carrying around her own personal baggage? Great. She could add looking unprofessional to her ever-growing list of things to worry about. “What do you mean?”

“It’s been a long time, and you’re good at hiding it, but I still know you well enough to know when something’s bothering you. Forgive me if I’m overstepping, but… What’s the matter?” Daichi leaned forward slightly, resting his forearms on his legs.

“Well…” Y/N began hesitantly, suddenly unable to meet his eyes, “It’s a bit of a long story, but I just got out of a long-term relationship. It didn’t end very neatly, and I guess I’m still just... “ She trailed off, unable to find a word that could even begin to cover the regret, the doubt, the blame, the unfairness of it all.

“Processing?” he suggested, his tone much gentler than before.

“Yeah. Processing.”

His expression softened into a sympathetic smile, and he brought up an idle hand to scratch the side of his neck. “I’m sure you’ll make it through just fine,” he assured her. “You’ve always been strong.”

Just like it always used to be, Daichi’s reliability was enough to help uplift her, and Y/N found herself mirroring his smile easily, sinking into the comfort of having a friend that she could trust. “Thank you, Dai.”

Days and then weeks went by, and the pair found it easy to mask the tension with the guise of professionalism—stray glances and candid smiles could all be brushed aside as remnants of their old friendship, the foundations of which they had found were still very much in-tact.

Daichi felt a rush of inexplicable pride every time Y/N confided in him, though she only did so in fragments, each of which he remembered carefully to try and piece together later. He could tell whenever they landed on the topic of her last relationship that it was still sore, that he shouldn’t press too hard on a bruise that was still healing. He kept his growing contempt for her ex-partner to himself, though he entertained his own ideas of what he’d like to say to the man if they ever crossed paths. Sawamura didn’t care for unfaithfulness to begin with, but the anger that swelled inside him with each new detail that Y/N shared was almost unjustifiable. Or at least, it would have been, if she was just a colleague to him.

‧₊˚✩彡.

“Sorry for keeping you at the precinct so late.” Streetlights lined their path, showering the detective and the journalist in an unnatural orange light, which was broken sporadically by the brilliant glow of passing headlights that faded into dull red as they disappeared down the road. It had been almost 2 months since their first meeting, and the two had fallen into an easy rhythm, which they used to dance around the growing tension.

“Not at all,” Y/N assured him, shoving her hands deeper into her coat pockets as frigid air bit harshly into the exposed skin. “I think we made some really good progress today! The overtime was definitely worth it.”

“Right…” he agreed absently, watching her in his periphery before sneaking a longer look. The streetlamps shone in her eyes like those carnival lights had all those years ago, and he was reminded of the flame in his hands, which now seemed to flicker just out of reach. He knew it was wrong of him to allow his feelings to be reignited, and on more than one count. She had confided in him the details of a traumatic breakup, not to mention the fact that they were currently acting as partners on a professional level. Logically, he knew all of these things, and Daichi had always been good at logic. It was how he kept his cool under pressure, and the reason that he was a detective at all—but right now, logic was the furthest thing from his mind. The girl that he had once been in love with had fallen right back in front of him, like the world was handing him a chance on a silver platter. He’d be a damned fool not to take it.

For a moment, their staggered steps and the occasional passing car were the only sounds to ease the tension. The hum of the city, which Sawamura usually found comforting, was now taunting, like a thousand flies buzzing in the distance. Finally, Daichi spoke again, if only to keep himself from drowning in the silence that hung between them. “Let’s grab dinner, okay? It’s late and neither of us has eaten since we started working.”

Y/N’s response was delayed, and for the first time in weeks, there was an expression on her face that he found himself unable to read. Her pause couldn’t have been that long, maybe a second or two at most, but it was enough time for a simmering anxiety to sweep over him in a wave. And then she smiled again, and it set his mind on fire.

When they stepped out of the restaurant, it was like leaving a time-capsule. Cheap ramen after a night spent studying had been a staple of their friendship in college, and being there again had left them both feeling like the years had melted away around them. Things felt simpler, more carefree than they’d been in months.

“My apartment isn’t far from the train station,” Daichi told Y/N as they stepped back out into the cold. He could feel it, the haze of nostalgia slowly seeping through the cracks in the pavement, getting carried further away by each passing car. “I can walk most of the way with you.”

“Alright,” Y/N agreed tentatively, wrapping her coat tighter around her as they started down the sidewalk. She could feel that the pull between them was growing stronger, that she was starting to open up to him more and more and more, and she was scared that her old feelings for him would spin out of control if she let herself get swept away by the sentimentality that was swelling up inside her. ‘These feelings aren’t real. Rebounding. I’m rebounding.’ She could repeat it to herself as many times as she wanted, but she’d always been a shitty liar—even when it came to lying to herself.

“Can… Can I ask you something?” Daichi finally interjected after about a block and a half of silence. He sounded tense, nervous even, and Y/N could tell that he was preparing to approach a difficult subject—she didn’t have to be the detective to know what.

“Yeah, of course,” she replied, her gaze trained on the pavement beneath her feet, counting the uniform lines in the concrete as she stepped over them. “Anything.”

He took a deep breath, hesitating as though he were expecting his next words to go wrong, but trusting that they were both comfortable in their friendship. “How… How did you find out that Takashi was cheating on you?”

The question hung heavy in the air, settling uncomfortably around her shoulders, and though it was a forward thing to ask, Y/N couldn’t say that it was totally unexpected. They’d been weaving their way through the subject for weeks now—it had only been a matter of time before they finally arrived here.

She was careful not to slow her pace as she formulated an answer in her head, still trying to mask some of the hurt that she was carrying with her. “Well… I had been travelling for work. It wasn’t a long trip, and I wasn’t far; just a weekend a few cities over. But, I finished my interviews ahead of schedule, so I decided to come home early on my last day.” Y/N was forcing her voice to stay even, pacing herself and trying hard not to let herself fall into the weight of her words. She realized now that she hadn’t told this story yet, hadn’t even really let herself process it.

She could feel Daichi staring, and she glanced to the side, knowing that she’d melt under his gaze. “When- When I got back to the apartment—our apartment—it was early afternoon. I didn’t see him anywhere so I thought that maybe he’d run out for groceries or food or, well—it doesn’t matter what I thought, I guess. I went to our room to put my things away and- and he-”

They had reached his apartment now, and they lingered on his doorstep, bathed in the glow of fluorescent lamps.

Daichi watched her with sorrow in his eyes, his gut twisting with the impulse to reach out to her as she began to cry. He was angry—angry at the one who had done this to her, angry at himself for feeling the way he did, wanting the things that he wanted.

“He was in our bed, and she was there too. And he- he was holding her like she belonged there, like- like they had done this a thousand times and-” Her voice finally broke against the lump in her throat, and her hands quickly moved to hide herself as tears spilled freely down the sides of her face. “And I’m not strong, because I just felt so- so stupid, Daichi. For thinking that- that I could ever mean something to someone wh-”

“Don’t,” Daichi interjected softly, finally finding the words to comfort her. Gently, his hands curled around her wrists and pulled them from her face, his own expression distressed as he took in the sight of her like this, overwhelmed by a hurt that she had been hiding and carrying with her for so long. “Don’t. You could. You do. Listen to me; whatever he did, whatever choice he made, it wasn’t about you. Trust me. Please.”

Y/N’s vision was still blurred by welling tears, but nothing could obscure the intensity that burned in Daichi’s eyes as he held her hands away from her face. There was an urgency about him that amplified his usual sincerity until she was consumed by it, by the feeling that she was safe with him.

“Daichi…” she whispered, her voice still watered down as they searched each other’s eyes, every moment leading up to this one playing back in their minds.

He pulled her close against him and held her like he was afraid she’d disappear, his arms tightening as she returned his embrace. He lost himself as she looked up at him with those red-rimmed and puffy eyes, glittering with tears. Before he knew what he was doing, his lips were on hers, and he was kissing her wildly, desperately.

Y/N’s heart stopped as he started, but she kissed back, letting her mind run blank as he pulled her closer into him, comforted by the steadiness of his arms around her. There were sparks between them that she could no longer explain away, lightning that only accompanied love, indisputable proof that he was more than just a friend, that this was more than just a rebound. When he kissed her, she felt alive.

She could hardly breathe when he finally pulled away from her, his eyes wild and drilling into her with a burning intensity.

“Y/N,” he breathed out, just as breathless as she was. “Stay… Stay with me.”

Her back was against his front door, and she knew exactly what that look in his eye meant—it meant that if she followed him in, that this was for real. It meant that she was serious about him, and that he was serious about her, and that they were finally letting this happen as it should have all those years ago.

The words were on her lips when the images came flooding back, of her space in her own bed occupied by another, a stranger lying in the arms of the person who she had chosen to love, to trust. Daichi’s steadiness suddenly became uncertainty, and she found herself wilting away from him.

His arms fell away from her easily, and her heart sank at the tortured look that was written all over his face as she moved away from him. She crossed her arms over her chest, and tried her hardest to at least look him in the eye. “I-I’m sorry, Daichi. I can’t. We shouldn’t.”

“You’re…” Daichi cut himself off, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring down at his feet, a long sigh rolling off his lips. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Y/N. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” As Y/N turned away and headed for the train station, she was forced to reckon with her own conflicting emotions. Being with Daichi had felt so right, so safe, but the thought of taking that risk again, putting herself in a situation where a single person could hurt her so badly… If there was anyone in the world who she thought would never betray her, it was him—but that trust might only mean that she would have farther to fall.

Daichi watched her go, and though he wanted to scream as he watched her silhouette disappear into the night, he had become unequivocally certain that he truly wanted to be with her. It was what he had wanted for a long, long time.

‧₊˚✩彡.

Y/N had gotten into work that morning and immediately been scheduled to conduct a last minute interview—one of the writers for the paper’s sports column had needed to attend to a family emergency, leaving her to cover for him in his absence. She wouldn’t need to visit the precinct today, something she was almost grateful for. There was an almost unfathomable level of awkwardness between her and Daichi, and not having to see him made it that much easier to try to forget what had happened on his doorstep two weeks ago.

She stepped into the designated meeting room, notepad in hand as she slid into the seat across from the athlete that she was supposed to be interviewing. “Hi,” she began, giving him her usual professional hospitality. “I’m L/N Y/N, it’s nice to meet you— I’ll be interviewing you today.”

“Hello,” he almost seemed to chirp, leaning back into his chair and shooting her a charming, coy smile. “I’m Oikawa. But with a face like yours, I’ll let you call me Tooru.”

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyu imagines #haikyu x reader #hq x reader #hq imagines #daichi x reader #daichi imagine #daichi sawamura x reader #daichi sawamura imagine #oikawa x reader #oikawa imagine #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru imagines #daichi angst #oikawa angst #tw cheating

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vad-hander · 4 years ago

Text

I’M YOURS

Pairing: Y/N, Jaehyun, Doyoung

Genre: Series | Smut | Angst | Fluff | College AU

Warnings: language, angsty, smutty scenario, love triangle

Words: 7.3k

warning!!! this part gets really smutty

***

But did you want to break up with Jaehyun for him? You sure liked spending time with Doyoung, as it was something you did the most in your life, you liked Doyoung a lot as a human, and this sudden feeing you had in your heart made you confused. It made you even more confused because Doyoung wasn’t against it, he just hopped on the same train you were on and played along. Did he like back? Or did he do it because he didn’t want to upset you? If he liked you all this time why did he not tell you about it?

You were sitting in your room thinking. Thinking of all possibilities being possible. You tried to cut your own self from this world to figure everything out. You really needed to figure everything out with Jaehyun. Was he still considering your make up or was he just waiting for you two get distant to the extent where your relationship won’t even need to be questioned. You knew for sure now you liked Jaehyun, he really did have a place in your heart. When he started ignoring you you realised you miss his touch, and you hate not being able to talk to him. At the end of the day, you too were friends before you began dating. But was Jaehyun the one you truly loved or were you just longing because this is all you were used to do?

Doyoung on the other side, was he just another one to long after? Were you just build to ruin friendships? Was it some sort of gods plan? Of course, if it wasn’t for Jaehyun you wouldn’t ileven question these things, but now you felt like you were in a constant circle that was meant to break, because you didn’t have that many friends. Was it going to be the same way with Johnny? Would you stop liking Doyoung all of a sudden? Would you begin liking someone else if you’ll begin dating Doyoung and it will go downhill in less than a month? You had no one to ask and you had no way to see the future. Doyoung made you excited and curious. He knew you way too well to not use it in his favour. You didn’t know if he actually did it because he loved you, but you wanted to believe it because Doyoung was a human with a pure heart that wouldn’t do something sick-headed. You knew he wouldn’t want to ruin your friendship, he wouldn’t want to ruin you because he ... loved you? At least in a friendly way, you knew that for sure. Was it always friendly? When he ran to you even when he was busy with more important things than help you pick an outfit to impress you crush from high school...? When he failed his test because he was helping you with yours...? When he left a girl to help your dumb ass...? Was he just genuinely this kind? Or did he always love you?

Now your heart bursted. Now you couldn’t breath properly. Now you wanted to cry and run to Doyoung to get everything out of him but you knew for sure he won’t tell you a thing. He’d keep you curious until you decide and you knew that. But would he keep you curious for a lifetime? ‘He kept you curious for the past 20 years. Do you think he won’t be able to do it for 20 years more?’ Being with your best friend was scaring you even more because breaking up would cause you lose two dearest people in your life at the same time.

You were startled hearing your phone ring. Hope deep down inside of your heart was hoping it was Jaehyun. He’d tell you he wants to see you and you would be okay again. You’d stop whatever was going on with Doyoung before it would get way too weird to ruin everything. Doyoung would stop to pursue anything as soon as he hears you say your back with Jae, you knew that for sure. But then you were hoping at the same time it was Doyoung who would tell you something to make you totally his.

You were scared to turn your phone screen up to see callers name. Your heart dropped in disappointment when you saw Johnny’s name.

“Yeah?” you picked up, clearing your voice.

“Hi, how are you?”

“I’m good, what’s up?”

“Want to hang our?”

“At the park?”

“Yup, I’ve spent entire day studying, I need company for a walk.” he chuckled and you mumbled yes. “Cool, see you in 30?”

“Okay, see you John.”

You hung up, quickly getting ready. Not even taking 10 minutes to put the comfiest clothes you could, you walked to slowly to the park. Even with you being early, you already noticed Johnny waiting for you.

“You’re early.” he chuckled, expanding his hands to give you a hug.

“You’re even earlier.” you giggled in his shoulder while hugging.

“Yeah, I called you when I was already going out, but then I thought of you.” you gave him a smile, inviting to go in the park.

“I envy you.”

“Why?”

“You were studying for the whole day.” you chuckled.

“It’a an emergency situation, I’m getting a D this semester if I’m not finishing my project.” he laughed in pain.

“Oh” you said with your lips only «I could’ve helped.”

“It’s okay. What were you up to today?”

“Not much, was sitting on my bed, then you called.” you looked at him through your hair.

“Watching Netflix?”

“I wish...I was just thinking... about life, you know.” you laughed and caught Johnny’s eyes. He chuckled with you and both of you went silent, walking.

“You know... we’re not really besties, and I know you have Doyoung for all the serious conversation, but you can tell me as well... if you really want to... I can keep your secrets if you’ll ask me to.” Johnny said with sincerity in his voice and you believed him. There was a conversation you can’t have with Doyoung, so telling Johnny would do. Not giving too much detail would be just fine to not get him too involved just in case.

“Okay...I read a book...”

‘Lame.” your inner voice exclaimed.

“Okay...?” Johnny answered for you to continue.

“It was from boy’s perspective, but I was so confused with his decision. I won’t tell you what it ended with, because I want to know what you’re thinking, but...” you paused and Johnny didn’t say anything. “Anyway, the guy, he had a girlfriend, that he liked, but then there was a friend that he had, and the friend let him know she likes him, and he suddenly felt like he likes her too? But it was made clear he wasn’t sure and he didn’t know if he just was excited for something new or did he like her for real? Was he too scared to break up because he was scared to ruin everything or because he didn’t like in the back of his mind? I was thinking what would I do, and I don’t know...i was so impressed by this book I keep on thinking about it. What would you do?” you noticed Johnny walking slower and you stopped.

“I would do what my heart tells me.”

“You know that’s a lame answer.” you laughed

“I know but that would be right.”

“But he didn’t understand what his heart is telling him.”

“Then pick your friend, if you’re doubting the one you’re dating.” you shoot your eyes to his “I mean, then I’d pick my friend if I was doubting. What the character did?”

“Uh...?” you asked being soaked in Johnny’s words about his pick.

“What did the guy in the book pick?”

“Oh...he just... I don’t know actually...it was an open ending, but I guess he picked the friend...?” you said dozing off a little in your thoughts.

“Good...” Johnny replied.

***

Doyoung didn’t push, didn’t act different, he’d be exactly the same and you hated it so much. He acted like he never held your hand, like he never kissed your neck or didn’t ask you to choose. He was just being his usual self and it felt as if you were hallucinating.

Jaehyun didn’t get any better. He didn’t want to talk, when you tried to ask him how is he doing, he just ran off somewhere else.

“Do you want to go with me?” your heart fluttered when you heard Doyoungs voice above your ear. You didn’t want to turn to face him to not get your faces way too close and not to make it way too difficult for you to move away.

“Where to?” you asked silently, leaning a little on him. Doyoung’s hand landed on your waist and to be fair you were ready to go anywhere.

“My place.” he sighed into your ear “My bedroom, being more specific.” he squeezed your waist, sounding as seducing as he could ever be.

“Why?” you finally turned your face to see him. Your heart was in your throat waiting for whatever he would say. Doyoung looked at your lips licking his, and you were ready to force kiss him right in the middle of the university hall.

“Today’s the party day. I want to look good for the girl we’ve been mentioning a lot recently....” he teased and you wanted to stand further but he was holding you close to him with his hand. “Her name’s Jisoo, by the way.”

“Cool. I’m busy anyway.” you tried to shake his hand off but he didn’t let you go.

“You’re not, and you’re coming with me. And to that party too.” he let go of you, pushing you to go with him.

“No.”

“I know what you were hoping we’ll do in my bedroom.” He smirked making your head dizzy.

“What?”

“You know what.” he raised his eyebrow “And with Jisoo, there’s nothing to be jealous of, I’m your friend forever.” he smiled cutely “I know Jaehyun is coming, we have to make you up with your boyfriend. You’ll both drink and finally will be able to talk.” he said making you walk, pulling you by your hand.

Now walking with him you noticed how he got back to his normal self, not trying to pull anything, just being your friend. This contrast was intriguing, but the other side of Doyoung was even more intriguing. Was he teasing you again and made up Jisoo or was he seriously going to try with her tonight again?

When you got to his bedroom you just laid on his bed, doing your best not to stare at his back every time he’d turn around.

“Who said Jaehyun is coming?”

“He said, with his mouth.”

“I didn’t hear that.”

“Probably because you don’t hang out with us much?”

“Oh...”

“Johnny too.”

“What Johnny too?”

“Don’t hang out with us much.” he turned to look you in the eyes and you raised your brow in question. “You two are together?”

“Jealous?” you smirked.

“Not me, but Jaehyun.”

“Did he say something?”

“No, but I guess he’s imagining things.”

“Fuck...I don’t even hang out with him that much.”

“But you do...?”

“Yes I do, he’s my friend.”

“Okay...” Doyoung sighed, turning back to his wardrobe. “Anyway, what you think of this?”

“Nah.” you shook your head. He was wearing a turtle neck with an unbuttoned button down jumper. He looked sexy in black, and you knew he knew that, but you didn’t want him to be at the party not with you and be sexy.

“Why? Black’s always cool.”

“You look like you’re going to a wedding and you’re 35.” you stood up, getting closer to him. “It’s a college party, if you forgot, people will be waisted and people will probably look like shit.”

“Jisoo would like this.” he said looking at himself in the mirror.

“No, she won’t. Only if she’s 35 as well.” ‘She shouldn’t like you at all’ was all you were thinking. You stood in front of Doyoung and he turned to you. “Take this off.” you commanded, pulling the material off his shoulders, making him stay in the turtle-neck only. He was standing still, so you had to take it off all by yourself like he was a mannequin. Getting to his wrists, you purposely touched his fingers, being slower when you got his hands out of the clothing, but he didn’t give you any reaction, so you threw the jumper onto his chest, turning to face his wardrobe. “Can’t you wear something more cool?”

“Like what?” he stepped closer to your back, and you felt how close he was with your shoulder blades.

“Like a shirt, and a sweatshirt? Loose pants and sneakers. You’d fit in more.” you said going through his clothes.

“What if I want to stand out?”

“What for?”

“For you to not lose me in the crowd.” Doyoung did that again, he intertwined your fingers with his out of the blue. He just held onto both of your arms and you wanted to stay like this, stay like this forever and not let go of him.

“I won’t.” you said breathlessly.

“How come?” he asked lowering his head. You closed your eyes in anticipation, getting a kiss on your collar bone.

“I always keep an eye on you.”

“Why?”

“You’re my baby best friend.” you sighed opening your eyes, he stared at you through the mirror, letting go of your hands.

“I’m not wearing a shirt. I want to stay in this.” he said aggressively, walking to sit on his bed.

You looked through his wardrobe once again, getting a jeans jacket out.

“At least wear this on, you won’t look way too old.” you threw the jacket at him. “I have to go.”

“Come on.” he moaned disappointed.

“Don’t be selfish, I have to get ready too!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll see you at the party, or I can pick you up?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Why?”

“Maybe Jaehyun will pick me up.”

“That’s...really...self-confident.”

“You know nothing about our relationship.” you defended.

“That’s what you call not talking to each other for a month?”

“Fuck off.” you said annoyed, leaving Doyoung’s room and then house.

***

You never got brave enough to ask Jaehyun if he’d want to pick you up. He felt unreachable to you and you were upset with the idea of being scared to even text him. Arriving to the party on your own, you weren’t in the best mood, but missing out on Doyoung with Jisoo wasn’t something you wanted to do.

Walking through all these people you weren’t sure where your friends are or if anyone was already there. You began getting your phone out of your bag, when you heard Yuta call your name, grabbing your hand.

“Hi!” he said smiling widely.

“Oh, hi. I was about to call you.”

“And I found you.” he laughed.

“Where is everyone?” you bit onto your lip.

“Let’s go.” he took you by your hand, leading through the crowd. You’ve noticed your friends at the kitchen, not seeing Jaehyun and Taeyong only. You smiled at everyone, keeping your eyes a little longer on Doyoung, who wore what you told him to wear and was just staring at you. Johnny went to you, giving you a hug. He laid his hand on your back, inviting you to grab a drink.

Not noticing how, but you were already on your third vodka with cranberry juice, leaning on the wall by yourself. You weren’t able to get your eyes off Doyoung who was with Jisoo right across from you. His hands were on her waist, and your heart skipped a beat every time it looked to you as if he was about kiss her. They switched their position now, and all you could see is Doyoungs fingers on her and Jisoo’s back, and she was moving her head as if they were kissing. You were dying to know if they were actually kissing. Why would he kiss anyone if he likes you? Why would he ask you to pick if he likes someone else?

Did he kiss her on purpose? Your drunken state didn’t help you either, making all of your thoughts even worse. Would it make you look a little too much like a psycho bitch if you ran to them, throwing everything you had in your cup on her, taking Doyoung away from her? Would that be a little too much? Why was he, if he was, kissing her, but not letting you kiss him? All you could see before your eyes is his lips, and you downed your drink in one go trying to get rid of the picture.

“Hi baby.” your head quickly shoot to your side, noticing Jaehyun.

“Hi.” you were barely able to talk out of shock. He came a little closer, standing in front of you. He locked his eyes with yours, and you could tell he was probably even more drunk than you were.

“I miss you so much.” he sighed “Can I hug you?” you felt warmth at his innocent question, and you nodded yes, not being able to resist. Jaehyun expanded his arms, snaking them on your waist. Your hands automatically hugged him by his neck, and he pulled you closer, hiding his nose in the crook of your neck. Jaehyun was so warm and safe, you closed your eyes, breathing out for the first time since you arrived.

“Do you still like me?” he pulled back a little, looking into your eyes. You stared into them, nodding, and he pulled you in again, squeezing you with all his might.

Jaehyun’s head moved, and you felt his hot lips on your neck, and your stomach flipped upside down. He kissed a trail up to your ear, whispering in it.

“This month was a torture. I’ve never wanted to have you in my arms as much as I want now.” he sighed again, planting a kiss at the base of your jaw. Your hands moved onto his scalp, running fingers through Jaehyun’s hair. “May I kiss you?” he looked in your eyes again, barely keeping them open from the pleasure your fingers were giving him. You didn’t answer, pulling his head closer with your arms, and he didn’t take a second, locking your lips with his, pushing you into the wall. He kissed you sweetly, not like he wanted to fuck you, but like he wanted to be with you. His hand landed on your cheek, keeping your head in place. Jaehyun deepened the kiss, stroking your cheek, and now it felt more passionate. His hand on your waist was drawing circles and the feelings he was giving you made your head dizzy. Jaehyun’s low growl made you realise how much you missed him, and you broke off the kiss, hugging his waist and laying your head on his chest. His arms hugged your back, forming a safety cocoon for you. His hands stroked your hair, while you were just listening to his heartbeat.

“Let’s go to my place. I want to hug you all night long.” he said softly and you nodded yes, feeling way too vulnerable and weak. Jaehyun made you feel soft and needed, letting you just chill and breathe by being his usual caring self. “Good.”

He let go of you, taking your hand in his. You walked right behind him to the exit, when you felt someone’s fingers on yours, and you knew they were Doyoung’s. You turned around, seeing his confused eyes. Stopping, you made Jaehyun stop as well, causing Doyoung to talk quietly and lean to you.

“Where are you going?”

“With Jaehyun.”

“I can see you’re with Jaehyun, where are you going?”

“Why do you care?” you moved your head back a little to see his eyes, and he furiously squeezed your fingers while staring.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t. Glad you two are back together.” he just dropped your hand, leaving immediately.

“Doyoung, wait.” but he didn’t hear you, getting lost in the crowd.

“What did he want?” Jaehyun back-hugged you, talking into your ear. You could feel alcohol in his breath.

“I didn’t understand.”

“I’m sure he’ll work everything out by himself. Let’s go?” his hands turned you in place to face him, forcing you to look away from the path Doyoung took.

“Yeah... let’s go.”

Leaving the house you’ve noticed Jaehyun was more drunk than you thought. He wanted to drive to his place, but you forced him to take a taxi, spending 10 minutes to talk him out of driving. You quickly got to his place and even in this short car drive you felt Jaehyun being distant, or maybe he was just drunk and not able to interact with you in any way. Entering his apartment, he barely gave you time to take your shoes off, pulling you with him to his bedroom. When he got to his bed, he made you fall onto the mattress, crawling on top of you. Your heart stopped beating, waiting for his next moves. You weren’t sure you wanted to have sex with him now, in the state you were in, especially in the psychological state you were in. Adding up to the fact you two were completely drunk and at the verge of breaking up, you didn’t think anything other than hugging would do you two good, but Jaehyun being above you now made you realize he didn’t think the same way.

When his face was above yours, he fell on top of you, making your hands automatically hug him. He was breathing heavily and you assumed he was not feeling well from all the alcohol he consumed.

Suddenly Jaehyun got strength in his arms back, lifting his body a little. He licked his lips, biting onto his lower lip, making his cute dimples visible. Your hands moved to his neck, massaging his ear.

“What are you thinking?” you asked, smiling at him.

“You wouldn’t want to know.” he slightly closed his eyes, looking even cuter.

“I would.” you gave him a smile, caressing his cheek.

“Okay.” he said softly, licking his lips once again, before covering your mouth with his. The kiss was different from the one you had at the party. It was demanding, he was trying to show you something you couldn’t understand, but it wasn’t blinded will or something senseless. You didn’t get his message, so you just kissed him back passionately with a small sense of apology. You were thinking again how Jaehyun didn’t deserve any of this, and how terribly weak you were to not tell him anything, literally anything, and keep on using him like this. But you weren’t able to actually think straight with all the vodka in your system, and when Jaehyun pressed his lower part to yours, showing that he wants you, you lost every thought in your head. You moaned into his mouth unwillingly when he grinded into you, and you didn’t think it was inappropriate anymore to have sex with him. Thinking of Doyoung all of a sudden, you remembered how he kissed Jisoo at the party and imagined how he probably already had sex with her in one of the rooms of the house the party was in, or if he was trying to put more effort into her, she was probably laying on his bed now, crying out his name. This made you really furious and jealous, and you pulled Jaehyun’s face closer, trying to push back these thoughts with his tongue in your throat. Jaehyun turned onto his back, pulling you to him, making you sit on his lap. He pulled himself a little higher, leaning onto the headboard. Freeing himself of the shirt he was wearing, he pulled you closer to him, holding your neck to rule you. Your hands landed on his chest, and you drew circles on his warm skin. You moved your hips to meet Jaehyun’s, and he moved his hands to your butt, squeezing tightly. His hand grabbed your hair, pulling your face closer to his, making his tongue go deeper in your mouth. Letting go of your butt, his palm slapped you, and you bit his lip accidentally. He never slapped you before and you were genuinely not expecting anything like that from him.

“I’m sorry.” you whispered, liking a small droplet of blood from his lip, but he pulled away with his hand in your hair, staring.

“It’s okay, baby.” you heard his soft tone for the first time since you got to his place, and it made you feel a little bit better about everything that was happening in his room right now. He made you lean to him, caressing your hair, and left pecks on your lips.

“Can we cuddle just for a while?” you asked softly in hope for Jaehyun to understand you’re not too eager for sex.

“You turn me on and then want to cuddle?” he laughed sarcastically “I need you.” he sighed into your mouth. His hand found yours, leading it to his zipper. His hand on top of yours made your palm slide up and down, grabbing onto him afterwards. You understood what he wanted you to do, squeezing his member in your hand through thick material. Jaehyun was turned on and you could feel that, kissing him once again. You felt under your touch how Jaehyun was barely fitting into his jeans now, making you moan into his mouth, grinding your hips for more friction. “Please go down.” his hand moved to your shoulder, pushing you lower. This felt even more weird now, not once have he ever forced you to do something for him. You shoot your eyes open, noticing Jaehyun had his closed. His face had a chilled expression, and you wouldn’t think he was actually making you do it, if it wasn’t for the hand on your shoulder, that pressing onto you strongly. You were coming up with better words to reject him. “Please, baby.” he opened his eyes, staring at you. Even though the tone of his voice was sweet, loving and caring, his eyes didn’t look too friendly. They were demanding, they were needy and a little crazy.

“You told me you wanted to hug me all night long.” You left a small kiss in the corner of his mouth.

‘And now he’s forcing you to blow him. This was obvious, did you actually think you’ll hug? You’re even more dumb than I’ve imagined…�� you heard in your head.

“Change of plans, I can’t help it.” he chuckled and pushed again, making you lean back and furrow your brows.

“You’re acting weird, I don’t like the atmosphere.” you sat on his waist and his hands fell onto your knees, stroking gently. He sighed heavily, closing his eyes.

“Come here baby.” he said quietly opening his eyes with his usual expression. You doubted, not moving your body at all. “Don’t be scared, I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. Come here.” He said softly expanding his hands to you. You gave in, falling on his bare chest, snaking your hands around his neck. His hands were slowly caressing your back, and you were appreciating the strength he had in him to just lay with you while he was obviously turned on. You closed your eyes, breathing in Jaehyun’s aura.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I tried to force you. It’s just…I didn’t get to touch you for a month…and…”

“You chose to do it this way yourself.” you mumbled into his neck.

“I know…but…I really like you, and it’s driving me crazy…how much I want you…” you opened your mouth to talk, but he added quickly “not just physically…but right now definitely more physically…” he sighed “if you really don’t want to sleep with me just tell me…I’m sorry I thought I’m aloud to force you for one second…and yeah…give me like 10 minutes and I’ll be ready…” he added laughing at his own joke. You were listening to him with your face tucked into his neck and he made you feel at ease, you were glad he wasn’t trying to fuck anything up or continue to force you. It was Jaehyun at the end of the day, he wouldn’t even hurt a fly. “Please say something…” he rubbed your hand, moving under you a little. You felt his dick press into your thigh, reminding you how he felt and you lifted your head, staring into Jaehyun’s eyes. It felt like he got a little soberer, you laid your hand on his cheek, caressing few times. You moved your head closer to his, licking your lips.

“Kiss me.” You said into his lips, and he obeyed, intertwining your lips with his. The kiss was slow-paced and he didn’t try to deepen it, barely even holding you with his arms. You weren’t sure if he was teasing you now or if he was scared to push you away again, so when he was being passive for what felt like forever, you moved his hands onto your waist, and moved your body higher, signaling him to move a little bit too, to lean his back on the headboard more. You were sitting where his zipper was, with his hands barely holding you in place on your waist.

You hugged his neck again, making your bodies even closer to each other, quickening the pace of the kiss. You pulled his lower lip, making a barely noticeable move with your hips towards him, causing him to finally hold your waist properly. Moving your hands to his face, you held onto both of his cheeks, trying to deepen the kiss. He quickly let you do it, opening his mouth. He was still holding back, making you lead the way, but you didn’t like it and didn’t want it, and knew possible ways to make him stop. Your hands moved again, hugging him tightly with one of them, you ran your hand over his bare chest and stomach, beginning to caress his side. Your hips made a few more thrusts and now he was squeezing you under his palms in unclear attempts to either stop you or press you into him harder.

You let go of his lips, leaving a wet trail of kisses on his jaw, going lower to his neck. Jaehyun’s hand moved to your head and you froze a little, trying to see how’ll he act, but his hand just put away hair from your way, and you continued planting kisses on his skin. Getting to his chest, you moved your butt lower, to get the better angle, unconsciously. When he held onto your hair stronger, you realized how you made him feel sliding down. Your hand that was laying on his chest and helping him find balance, got lower, and you slid a little more on his legs. Leaving a wet trail of kisses on his abs, you sat back up, making him let go of you. Your hands were holding onto the waist of his jeans, while your eyes were holding contact with his. Jaehyun’s hand touched your knee, beginning to caress carefully, making you get back to what you were doing. Unzipping his jeans, you tried to pull them down from his waist, and he helped you, lifting his hips from the mattress.

“Come here.” he expanded his hand to you, when you slowed down, staring at him again.

“No, wait.” you said, trying to get yourself together. Did you want to continue whatever was happening between you and Jaehyun? At this very moment you felt like you did, felt like you could work it out, if he’d just be next to you, so you leaned closer to Jaehyun. Your hand snaked under his underwear, and he grabbed your head in his hands, when you cold hand touched his member.

“Please, don’t tease.” he said quietly, and you kissed him. Jaehyun’s fingers were caressing your cheeks, holding on to you tightly, when you swipe your nail over the head of his dick. Making a pumping move with your hand, you made him groan into your mouth. Leaving a peck on his lips, you broke it, moving lower. “What are you doing?” he asked letting go of your head.

You didn’t reply, leaving few more kisses over his torso, before sitting above his knees. Your hand was still slowly pumping his dick, and with one light motion, you freed him of the material. Getting your head in front of him, your hand went up and down again. You felt a lump in your throat, but backing out now was way too embarrassing, so you just distracted yourself from it with the thoughts about his dick being a pretty pink color when erected. This, actually, didn’t really made you feel any less confused, but when you felt like you were taking too long, you opened your mouth, licking the pre-cum drop from his tip. This made Jaehyun gasp and curse, and you felt more confident with your decision now, because he didn’t force you, you did it on your own. Holding him at the base, you drew a line with your tongue from the tip to the base. Jaehyun’s hand landed on your head again, but he just brushed the hair from your face, lifting your head by your chin.

“Baby, I beg you, if you want to do it, don’t tease.” he said softly and you nodded, opening your mouth to take him in. Locking your lips around him, you bobbed your head up and down, seeing with your peripheral vision Jaehyun throwing his head back. You made more of these moves, getting in a rhythm. Twisting your hand a little at the base, every time you took him in, made Jaehyun go crazy under you, and both of his hands got your hair in some sort of pony tail, curling it on one of his fists. His other hand put the hair that still was on your way behind your ear, rubbing your burning cheek couple of times and laying on the mattress afterwards. You felt out of breath, so you moved back a little, pumping him with you hand in a quicker pace. You lifted your eyes, noticing Jaehyun stare at you with all the concentration he was able to give you at this moment. With the pumps your hand continued doing, your lips left few kisses at the tip of his dick, staring into his eyes. Jaehyun held onto your hair tighter when you got your tongue out and licked him multiple times. “Just go back to what you were doing, this is going to drive me crazy.” he said and you listened to him, taking Jaehyun in with your mouth again, guiding your lips with your hand, that was pressing tighter on him at his base. You were doing it much slower than before, staring at Jaehyun all the time, but he didn’t really look back at you, squeezing his eyes in pleasure. “You really want to do it the other way.” he sighed pressing on your head next time you got lower. This was unexpected and not really comfortable, he did it before, but only when he told you he’d do it or if he was about to cum, but it didn’t feel this way now, and you choked on air because you didn’t expect it. You knew your choking only brought him more pleasure, so you continued doing what you were doing, quickening a little, to not make him do it again but the next time you got lower he pressed again, even harder than before, not letting you move back for longer period of time. “I’m sorry” he mumbled out of breath but didn’t let go. You didn’t have the chance to tell him to stop, because his hand was blocking your way to get his dick out of your mouth. “Endure it, for me, please…” his hand got in complete control of you, and this didn’t feel nice anymore at all. “I know you can do it…” your hand wasn’t doing much now, because you were just trying to not die under his pressure. Tears were forming in the corners of your eyes, while Jaehyun was using your mouth to ease himself. His free hand laid on top of yours, reminding you that he needs you to move it. Not really being able to breath, or see anything, you continued doing what he wanted you to do with your hand. He didn’t press hard all the time, letting you do it normally for the most part.

At one point you felt him twitch in your mouth, letting you know what’s going to happen next. There was no way you actually wanted him to cum in your mouth, maybe at least not in the way he did it. When he was close to his peak, his hand just pulled you down low, and you felt him in your throat for real. The only thing you did was trying to push him away, but he didn’t move even for a millimeter, making tears from your eyes flood everything around. You felt how warm liquid hit your throat, not only making you choke but cough as well, and he finally let go of you, and you moved back, not being able to look up out of embarrassment. You didn’t know if it was him, or you, or both, but you felt disgusted. It’s not the first time you did a blow job, it’s not the first time he came into your mouth or made you choke, but everything tonight made you disgusted. He left you a mess with saliva, tears and his sperm all over your face. His hand landed on your cheek forcing you to look up. He moved you closer by your face, and you tried to wipe your face, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

Jaehyun’s hands caressed your cheeks, drying tears from under your eyes with his thumb.

“Your face is burning.” he said softly “I’m sorry, I made you uncomfortable.” His eyes were running all over your face.

“I’m fine.” You said tiredly, actually beginning to feel exhausted.

“No, you’re not. I’ll do anything, just tell me.”

“You promised me hugs.” your eyes closed under his gentle touch.

Jaehyun let go of your face, making you lay on the bed next to him. You felt a bit better now laying on the sheets, just glad to have your mouth closed. His hand landed on your cheek again, and you felt his lips on yours, giving you tiny pecks. When your breath was back to normal you opened your eyes, noticing Jaehyun just staring at you.

“Quit staring.” you whispered, trying to block with your hand his view. His palm caught yours, pulling it closer to his mouth, leaving small kisses on the back of it. You turned your hand so you could caress his cheek, and he shoot his eyes to you, smiling quietly.

Jaehyun’s smile, it was Jaehyun’s smile that turned everything upside down for you again. It took one second for him to smile childishly after you laid your hand on his cheek and rubbed it, and it took one second for your stomach to do a flip and pull his face closer.

“I love you.” you whispered into his lips.

“I love you.” you wrinkled your face cutely, rubbing your nose on his. “I’m glad your feelings towards me didn’t change.” he pecked the corner of your lips.

“My feelings towards you are only stronger every day I wake up.” you smiled, stroking his neck. You pulled him closer to you, laying on your back now. Jaehyun was leaning over you and you pulled him closer again. “Make love to me” you whispered quickly before kissing him lightly. Jaehyun didn’t waste no time, kissing your lips few more times, before sitting up. His hands rubbed your legs, sliding down your pants with the underwear. He stared at your center hungrily, before getting back to your face, kissing your lips lovingly. His hand touched you there, sliding his hand up and down, making you hold onto his neck tightly. Jaehyun didn’t take long, inserting a finger inside of you, to make you ready to take him. His lips were kissing your neck, while you were just choking on air when Jaehyun inserted another finger. “Baby, kiss me.” you barely said and Jaehyun lifted his head from your neck, locking your tongues. He was trying to kiss as deep as possible, but didn’t make it in any way rushed or forceful. He changed 180 and you were just happy to get the normal Jaehyun back. You pulled his face away, trying to talk. “I need you.”

“I don’t think you’re ready.” he tried to kiss you again.

“I’m telling you.”

“I don’t have lube.” he kissed your jaw.

“Jaehyun.”

He pulled back, getting a condom out of the drawer. While he was putting on you took the rest of your clothes off, staring at Jaehyun. When he got back, you kissed once again, and even though it was the same as before, you suddenly felt like he didn’t really put any love in it. You didn’t have time to think about it because he broke off the kiss, rubbing your clitoris with his fingers once again. Jaehyun’s dick was ready to enter you, and you switched your position getting a bit lower under him, spreading your legs wider. He tried to enter you slowly, but you pulled his body to yours, and he just slid in, making you moan. Your hands snaked over Jaehyun’s back and neck, intertwining your bodies. You wrapped your legs around his torso, while he was moving his hips slowly to meet yours. He felt good, this felt good, the pace he chose and the way he was doing it felt loving. He was thrusting in a pleasuring rhythm, wiping away every negative feeling you had before.

You were kissing, and hugging, and then moaning into each other’s ears. This was truly loved you made, and you believed in it. Jaehyun left no doubt in you, you knew you loved each other. He whispered every nice word into your ear there is. Jaehyun told you so many times he loved you and he missed you, it was playing in your head on repeat.

His hips thrusted quicker when the both of you were closer to your peaks, causing you to moan loudly his name.

“Say this once again.” he whispered out of breath.

“Jaehyun.”

“Good. Do you love me?”

“Of course, I do, baby. I told you so many times.” Jaehyn’s hand rubbed you, taking you to another level of pleasure. You began to unconsciously clench around him, making him moan in reply.

“No, name, say my name.”

“I love you, Jaehyun, please make me cum, Jaehyun.” You moaned in his ear, and he lifted his head a little, to kiss you and thrust in you once more, before you felt how pleasure washed over your body.

You felt so tired you didn’t even move after both of you came. Jaehyun though, found it in him to get up throw away the condom, falling back next to you. He pulled your body closer, making you lay in his embrace, having nothing in between of you. You felt tired, but you felt happy and satisfied. Before falling asleep, you thought how nothing could break you off with Jaehyun, you were so sure of it, your head went dizzy when you suddenly remembered your best friend.

‘Fuck, Doyoung.’

_____

please let me know what you think

I didn’t prove read this, sorry

next chapter is the last one!!!

#johnny suh smut #nct series #nct x reader #nct angst #nct au #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct johnny #nct taeyong #nct drabbles #nct smut #nct scenarios #doyoung smut #doyoung #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun smut #jaehyun #johnny suh #moon taeil

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kcarreras · 3 years ago

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Best Friends & Bad Ideas

Fandom: Outer Banks Pairing: JJ Maybank and Kiara Carrera Summary: Set about a week after the pogues arrive on the island, with flashbacks to a special childhood memory, a game of truth or dare, an almost kiss and a stick and poke tattoo…

They had only been on the island for about a week, but the Pogues had quickly fallen into a semi-normal routine.

Each morning, they’d wake up under the cover of their make-shift shelter, which JJ was very proud of - despite the holes in the roof and it’s tendency to blow over completely whenever the wind picked up.

The boys would usually get up first and head further inland from the beach to scavenge around for some fruit for breakfast, while the girls went for a dip in the ocean to clean up and cool off.

On this particular day, they were waist deep in the water in just their underwear, their clothes discarded in messy piles across the sandy shore, when Kie let out a shriek and started splashing her way back to land.

“Oh my god! Shit! What was that?!” she squealed, jumping around from foot to foot, now only ankle deep in the surf.

“Oh my god, Kie! What is it?!” Sarah called, rushing up to the shore behind her, Cleo close behind.

“Girl, what?!” Cleo chimed in when Kie didn’t answer, her back now facing Sarah with her knife drawn, eyes darting across the water around them.

“Something touched me! I felt it - on my back - can you check?” Kie said to Sarah, spinning around until her back was to the blonde.

“It was probably just a fish, no big deal,” Cleo said, still pacing around in the water, one hand splashing in front of her as she moved, the other gripping her blade readily in case anything appeared.

“Well it didn’t feel like just a fish,” Kie pouted, a little embarrassed by her own outburst. She had spent her whole life in the water and had encountered all sorts, so she wasn’t easily frightened or grossed out - she guessed her nerves were just still a little on edge from everything.

“Coast is clear, I don’t see nothing,” Cleo assured them, joining them in the shallower water and tossing the knife to land on top of her clothes.

Sarah’s hands were still skimming along Kie’s back, pushing her long, dark hair over her shoulder for a clearer view as she looked for any sign of the mystery sea creature on her friends skin.

“I think you’re good, I don’t see anyth-, wait a minute… Kiara Carrera! What the hell is that?” Sarah exclaimed excitedly, and Kie burled around in circles as if it would help her see her own back.

“What? What is it? Sarah! Get it off!” Kie squealed, her hands swiping at her own body in an attempt to get rid of whatever was apparently there.

“Is that… a tattoo?” Cleo asked from behind Sarah, pushing up on her tiptoes to see over Sarah’s shoulder.

“Shit,” Kie breathed, realisation washing over her as she let her head fall back in relief.

“What is it supposed to be? Is it a-” Sarah began, tilting her head, squinting her eyes and running her finger tips over the messy splotch of black and blue ink high on Kie’s ribcage, most of it concealed under the material of her bikini top - which is probably why Sarah had never noticed it before.

“Dolphin..?” Cleo suggested.

“Yes, now if you don’t mind…” Kie replied, swatting Sarah’s hand away.

“So where’d you get it?” Sarah asked as the three of them made their way out of the surf and onto the dry sand.

Kie stopped to pull her hair over her shoulder and wring the water out before asking, “What?”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “The tattoo, obviously. Where’d you get it? I know for a fact there’s no one on the south side dealing out tattoos to underagers.”

“And how would you know what happens on the south side, Princess?” Kie responded teasingly with a smile, and Sarah shoved her gently as she passed her on her way to her pile of clothes, knocking Kie slightly off balance.

“Because I’ve been trying to get one since I was 15, and I couldn’t exactly ask anyone on my side of the island. Not without my dad -” ‘finding out’, she had been going to say, but she caught herself. “So where’d you get it?”

“If you must know, JJ gave it to me,” Kie replied, trying to sound nonchalant as she stepped back into her green trousers, fastening them at her waist and rolling them up around her ankles.

“Hmm,” Cleo hummed in approval. “Pretty boy’s got some skills, huh?” she said with a smile and a raise of her eyebrows in Kie’s direction.

“I’m sorry,” Sarah interjected, holding a hand up to Kie with a disbelieving shake of her head. “You’re telling me that you let JJ Maybank within 5 feet of you with a tattoo gun?” She was trying to sound outraged, but it came out more amused.

“No, actually. He doesn’t have a tattoo gun, he did it with a needle. That’s why the line work is so messy and the colour is all over the place.” Kie corrected, and she found herself running her fingers across it, a sense of affection filling her chest at the memory. She lifted her gaze from it after a few seconds to meet Sarah’s questioning look.

“Ok, well, that and he was high off his ass,” Kie said, and all three girls laughed.

“No shit,” Cleo said, sounding impressed as she shimmied back into her trousers.

“You must have been pretty wasted too, to agree to that,” Sarah continued to question, pulling on her trousers and dropping down to sit cross legged in the sand. Cleo and Kie followed suit a few seconds later, forming a little triangle.

“It was some time at the start of last year. I was just back from my stint at the Kook Academy,” Kie began, and Sarah gave her a soft yet sad smile at the reference to their time together. “Big John hadn’t been missing that long, and John B was still pretty out of it. JJ and I had gone over to the Chateau to check in on him, but he’d been drinking like, all day, so he was already wasted by the time we got there. He lasted maybe an hour before he passed out, but we didn’t wanna leave him. So JJ put him to bed, and then we went and hung out on the hammock.”

Sarah pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them with a captivated look on her face. “The hammock, huh?” she asked coyly, but Cleo interrupted before Kie could respond.

“Hold up, who is this ‘Big John’?” she asked, looking back and forth between Sarah and Kie, confused.

“John B’s dad. It’s kind of a long story,” Kie replied.

“Shit, we really need to catch you up,” Sarah said, knocking her shoulder into Cleo’s affectionately.

“Anyway,” Kie continued. “We were drinking beer, and of course JJ had a stash, and we just decided to light up. We figured we’d pass the time by playing a game of truth or dare, which is never a good idea when JJ’s high, and the next thing I know he’s tattooing a dolphin on my ribs,” Kie finished with a shrug.

“That’s a pretty extreme dare for a chill night at the chateau,” Sarah commented, sensing there was more to the story than Kie was letting on.

“Well… that wasn’t exactly the dare. It was a forfeit for not completing a dare,” Kie clarified and Sarah’s interest peaked again.

“So what was the dare?” Cleo asked, clearly as invested in the story as Sarah, both leaning forward into Kie, who was starting to look a little flushed.

“It doesn’t matter, it was stupid.” Kie said, with a shake of her head as she tried to avert her gaze.

“Ki-eee,” Sarah sing-songed, flicking some sand at her. “Full disclosure, just us girls.”

Sarah stretched her arm out into the middle of the little triangle they had formed, her pinky extended. She looked to Cleo, gesturing for her to copy, which she did, then she looked at Kie pleadingly.

“Kie, we are literally stranded on a deserted island with nothing to do, and this might be the most interesting thing I’ve heard in days. C’mon,” Sarah pleaded.

Kie sighed, lifting her arm and the three of them linked pinkies awkwardly, shaking them with a laugh.

“Fine,” Kie sighed, and Sarah clapped - silently but excitedly.

“He dared me to kiss him,” Kie practically mumbled, her head falling forwards into her hands.

“I knew it!” Sarah screamed, jumping up to her feet.

Kie shot her a glare that should have struck her down dead. “That’s great, Sarah, really. Way to be subtle,” Kie reprimanded, reaching up to grab Sarah’s wrist and pulling her back down onto the sand with a thud. Her eyes darted around for any sign of the boys, but they seemed to be in the clear.

“Sorry!” Sarah apologised, still too loudly and Kie emphasised the glare, and Sarah clamped her hand over her mouth, before she spoke again in a lower tone. “Sorry, it’s just - I knew it. I knew he liked you like that.”

“Okay, first of all, no he doesn’t. Second of all, no he doesn’t.” Kie protested.

“Come on, Kiara. You’re not blind, and neither are the rest of us. Cleo, back me up here.” Sarah said, turning to Cleo.

“For sure. Pretty boy’s got it bad for you, girl.” Cleo confirmed.

Kie felt her heart quicken, a warmth rising in her cheeks and an unsettling feeling low in her stomach.

“This is so stupid. I’m not having this conversation,” Kie said after a few seconds, suddenly looking and sounding annoyed. She got to her feet, dusting the sand off and started to walk away from them.

“Kie, come on! It’s not a big deal!” Sarah called, getting to her feet.

“We’re gonna have to talk about it eventually, it might as well be now!” Sarah tried again, and Kie stilled, her back still facing the two other girls.

She let out a huff of air, cursing under her breath as she ran a hand through her hair and then turned around to face them.

“Look, there’s nothing to talk about. It was a long time ago. He was high, I was high, and it was dumb. It didn’t mean anything, okay?”

“So why didn’t you do it?” Sarah asked.

“What?” Kie asked, exasperated with a throw of her hands.

“If it was so meaningless, why didn’t you just kiss him?” Sarah pushed.

“Are you on crack, or have you just been sitting in the sun too long?” Kie scolded. “He’s one of my best friends,”

“It’s a simple question.” Sarah persisted.

“And it’s a simple answer. I didn’t want to, okay?” Kie all but snapped.

“Didn’t want to kiss him, like… at all? Or didn’t want to kiss him as part of a dare, when you were both high?”

Kie spluttered incoherently for a second.

“Both,” she finally settled on, hoping it was ambiguous enough.

“Bullshit.” Sarah stated, crossing her arms across her chest.

Cleo took a step back, looking on, fascinated and kind of amused by the whole thing, blade swinging absentmindedly from her fingertips as her eyes shifted from girl to girl as they spoke.

“Excuse me?” Kie countered.

“I said that’s bullshit, Kie. Let’s look at the facts objectively. JJ’s hot,” Sarah began, and both girls’ heads spun to shoot her a surprised look.

“I said objectively, relax.” Sarah clarified with a roll of her eyes, and Cleo nodded in agreement after a quick second of contemplation, which surprisingly to Kie caused a little flutter of jealousy in the pit of her stomach.

“As I was saying, you’re both… attractive people” Sarah carried on, choosing her words more carefully, “and you’ve been best friends forever. You drink together, get high together - you sleep on the pullout at the chateau together. He’s always checking you out, you’re always defending him - and don’t get me started on how you two are always pairing off for every little mission or adventure.”

Kie shrugged, feigning ignorance as to what Sarah’s point was.

“So?” Kie asked, mostly to fill the silence that crept in as Sarah looked at her expectantly.

“So, you’re telling me that you’ve never once thought about kissing him? That idea has never crossed your mind? Ever?” Sarah questioned, crossing her arms dramatically as if to emphasise her point, and Kie felt as though all the blood in her body had rushed to her head.

“No,” was all she could think to counter with, and it sounded so feeble coming out of her mouth that she didn’t even believe herself.

“I don’t believe you,” Sarah said, unsurprisingly.

“Look, it’s not as simple as ‘who wants to kiss who’, okay? There are rules - no pogue on pogue macking, for starters.”

“Okay, except no one has ever listened to that rule, ever.” Sarah replied.

“You know what, Sarah-” Kie began, a little irritated that her friend wouldn’t just let it go, but she was interrupted by the sound of the boys’ laughter as they emerged from the treeline further along the beach.

John B spotted them first, and triumphantly held up a handful of what looked like mangos into the air.

“You guys comin’ or what?” JJ called to them from behind John B, gesturing with his head for them to follow them back along to the camp.

“We are so not done talking about this,” Sarah whispered to Kie as she stepped past her and headed along the beach towards the boys. Cleo followed, winking at Kie with a knowing smile as she passed her.

Kie stood where she was for a second, her mind racing before she was brought back by his voice.

“Yo, Kie! You better get your ass over here or I’m gonna take your share,” he called to her jokingly, and she composed herself quickly before turning and heading towards him.

“You don’t even like mango, dumbass,” she laughed as she approached him and he tossed one in her direction, which she caught with ease, and he shot her an impressed look. “They make your throat itch.”

“Hey, I’m so hungry out here I’d eat you if I had too, Carrera,” he said jokingly, and she dug him in the ribs as they walked side by side up the beach behind the others.

“How the tables have turned, Maybank. A couple days ago you were thanking me for literally saving your life, and now you’re threatening to cook me over a campfire?”

“I’m just messin’. Besides, there’s not enough meat on your bones, I’d definitely start with John B first,” he said, shooting her a quick grin and she laughed as John B turned and launched a mango at JJ, hitting him right in the gut.

“I heard that, jackass!” John B hollered.

“Oh, you’ve done it now, bro,” JJ warned with a laugh, taking off up the beach after John B who was running as JJ lobbed fruit at him. Kie heard Pope mutter an exasperated “Here we go again,” somewhere in the background as she smiled after them.

***

As Kie lay on her side next to JJ that night under the shelter, eyes wandering across his features in the dark, she couldn’t stop her mind from wandering to the night he’d given her that stupid tattoo…

They had been lying head to toe in the hammock as it swung softly side to side, passing a joint back and forth, a beer each in their free hand. It was quiet out, just the gentle hum and buzz of cicadas and skeeters around them in the distance.

“My turn,” JJ proclaimed, taking the joint from her outstretched hand and drawing on it until his lungs burned pleasantly.

“Oh god,” Kie groaned, throwing her forearm across her eyes dramatically in preparation for whatever was about to come of his mouth.

“Hey, this was your bright idea,” he reminded her and she groaned, leaning forward to take the joint back from him.

“Yeah? Well clearly I forgot who I was playing with. I blame the weed and the beer,” she sighed, taking the final draw. Her eyes were closed as she held the hit, before slowly releasing the smoke and stubbing the rest out against the tree behind her. She let it drop to the ground, then poured some beer on it to make sure it was out, and JJ objected with a gentle kick of his foot into her side at the waste of good beer.

“What? I don’t wanna be responsible for a wildfire wiping out the whole of the south side. This is a protected habitat, y’know.” Kie defended, nudging him back.

He shrugged, “Fair enough. Now stop deflecting,” he said, and Kie raised a brow, impressed with his word choice. JJ smiled, winking at her in the dark, happy that he’d managed to impress her by a) knowing the word in the first place, and b) using it correctly in a sentence.

“My turn,” he repeated, and Kie sighed, gesturing with her hand for him to continue. He grinned wide and bright, eyes glassy from the weed, lips rosy from the beer. He sat up, and as he shifted on the hammock, Kie’s legs rearranged themselves until they rested across his lap.

“Hmm, let me think about this one,” he hummed, and Kie rested her head back against the hammock as his fingers began to drum gently across the bare skin of her leg as he concentrated.

She wasn’t sure if it was her buzz or his touch or - most likely - a combination of both, but her skin prickled with goosebumps as his fingers grazed her thigh, and he looked down at her.

“Are you cold?” he asked, misinterpreting her body’s reaction, but she went along with it, crossing her arms and rubbing her hands up and down them.

“Kinda,” she replied, and then it occurred to her that it was nearly 1am and she was sitting outside, bare foot, in a pair of denim shorts and a bikini top. JJ was wearing his usual dark tank, but with a well-worn plaid shirt hanging open over it. He tugged the shirt off, in a rather uncoordinated yet typical JJ fashion, and tossed it at her so it landed on her head, partially covering her face.

She laughed, sitting up as she pulled it off her head. She pulled her legs back to cross them in front of her, suddenly missing the contact of his skin on hers, as she put the shirt on. It was far too big for her petite frame, and one shoulder kept slipping down, but it was warm from his body heat and it smelt like him, so she pulled it closer to her and didn’t complain.

“Thanks, I think,” she said sarcastically, desperately trying to avoid her gaze landing on his strong-looking looking shoulders and arms which had previously been concealed by the shirt.

“Anything for you, Kie,” he said with a wink, but it sounded more sincere than he probably intended.

“Well in that case,” she drawled, leaning forward, and his expression shifted to something unreadable for second, until she reached up and swiped his red cap from his head and put it on with a laugh.

“Really? My favourite cap?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“You said, anything, right?” she teased, knowing how much he loved that stupid cap.

“I guess I better choose my words more carefully next time,” he replied, but he made no move to take it back. He just smiled at her affectionately, the sight of her in his clothes causing an all-too familiar swelling in his chest.

“Just, tilt it up a bit,” he said, pausing briefly before adding, “I can’t see your face.”

Kie felt her heart clench a little.

She did as he asked, tilting the cap back until he smiled wide and said, “Much better,”

She felt her cheeks begin to flush under the intensity of his gaze, and she cleared her throat softly before speaking.

“Right, c’mon, Jay. We don’t have all night. What’s my dare?” she asked, leaning over to place his cap back on his head backwards.

He sat up straighter, adjusting the cap, and they were practically face to face in the middle of the hammock, very little space between them. Her legs that were still crossed in front of her were pressing against the length of his leg bent in front of him, as he sat with the other hanging off the side of the hammock, his boot skimming the grass beneath.

Her head was buzzing from the proximity and she took a swig of her beer as an excuse to divert her gaze from his, and also to wet her mouth which now felt dry with anticipation.

She gulped it down, finishing the can and tossing it into the garbage bag beside the tree as she licked her lips, causing JJ’s eyes to drop to her mouth.

His hands found hers, which were resting in her lap but brushing his leg, and he began fidgeting with her bracelets. He noticed one, a thinly woven aqua-coloured bracelet tied loosely around her wrist, a small silver dolphin charm dangling from it, and he smiled.

“You kept this?” he asked, smiling and lifting his eyes from her wrist to her eyes, which were dark and glassy and kinda blown.

“Of course I did,” she replied, “I wanted a reminder of the day I beat you at everything.” Kie’s face broke into a wide, teasing smile and he scoffed, sitting back.

“Hey, not everything!” he protested, and Kie laughed.

****

One Summer, when they were 11 or 12, a travelling fairground came to Kildare and, of course, the Pogues had been first in line. They rode dodgems, shot hoops, messed around on the dance machines and sprayed targets with water guns to win prizes. JJ and Kie had always been the most competitive, even as kids, and so they had turned it into a tournament of sorts - no real prize, except eternal bragging rights. John B and Pope were quite happy just to play for fun. Kie had beaten JJ at every single game, winning prizes left and right and by the end of the day, she had streams of tokens and multiple oversized stuffed animals that they boys were helping her carry.

As they were leaving, JJ spotted a stall they hadn’t played yet, and dragged Kie over, challenging her to one last game. This time, he won - or rather, Kie let him win, but she’d never admit it - and she swore she had never seen him so excited as he jumped around on the spot, fists shooting up into the air as he hollered over to John B and Pope to inform them of his victory.

Despite her competitive streak, Kie couldn’t stop herself from letting him have the win - even as a kid she’d noticed how he didn’t smile or laugh quite as often as the others around them, so when he did it made her heart swell a little.

They ran off together to the counter to claim his prize and as they stood in line, Kie peered up at the counter containing the prizes. Her eyes landed on a bracelet, colourful and delicate with a tiny dolphin charm - at the time her favourite animal. She didn’t say anything, but JJ noticed her looking.

“What are you gonna get?” she asked excitedly, tugging on his sleeve and pointing out loads of things she thought he’d like.

He shrugged, eyes scanning the counter and she left him to it, wandering off nearby to watch the man at the food truck wrap up a massive swirl of bright pink candy floss.

A few minutes later, she heard JJ call her name and she went running after him.

“What’d you get?” she asked excitedly as she caught up to him, and he told her to close her eyes and put out her hand. She seemed confused, but complied anyway, and soon she felt something tie around her wrist. She heard him let out a deep breath as he stepped back from her, and she peeked an eye open, looking down to see the bracelet hanging around her wrist.

Her gaze shot up to him, smile wide and eyes bright, and without giving it a second thought, she stepped forward, pushing up onto her toes and kissing him on the cheek. He blushed a little, dropping his head and burying his hands in his pockets.

“Thanks, Jay. I love it,” she said, playing with it around her wrist and he nodded before they headed back to John B and Pope.

****

“I’m sorry, you’re right. You did win one,” she teased, waving her wrist in his direction, the charm tinkling softly against the others on her wrist.

“I can’t believe you still have that piece of crap,” he laughed, and she pulled her wrist back harshly.

“Hey! This ‘piece of crap’ happens to be one of my most prized possessions,” Kie said, twiddling with it.

“Why?” he asked, seemingly bewildered as he chugged the last of his can and lobbed it towards the garbage bag, just missing it.

“Because…” she began, and then realised she had to think carefully about her answer, the beer and weed making her a little too loose-lipped and uninhibited.

“You were just really sweet to me that day, and it’s a nice reminder.” Kie replied, but it still sounded a little heavier than she’d have liked, so she added: “Y’know, for days when you’re a real pain in my ass and I question why we’re still friends.”

“Ha ha,” he fake-laughed with a roll of his eyes. “I just don’t remember ever noticing it before, that’s all.”

“I don’t wear it all the time, in case I lose it in the water or it gets ruined or whatever. But I felt like wearing it today.” Kie said with a shrug, and JJ nodded, an endearing look on his face.

“Plus, it’s a cute colour. Anyway, can we get back to this dare? I wanna get it over with,” Kie said, changing the subject.

Straight away JJ said, “I dare you to kiss me,” and Kie laughed, high and short, in disbelief.

“I’m sorry,” she began, shaking her head as if she had water in her ears. “That sounded a lot like you just dared me to kiss you.”

“So what if I did?” he said, his eyes glassy and intense and his pupils blown. His hands were still tangled with hers in her lap, their faces close enough that she could feel his warm breath on her skin as he spoke. They both knew he’d never be forward enough to come out and say that when he was sober - clearly the mix of the weed and the booze had instilled a increased level of confidence in him.

Kie decided to play at him at his own game, a similar feeling of dangerous confidence simmering in her chest.

“You don’t think I’ll do it?” she asked, barely above a whisper, eyes locked on his.

“Oh, I know you won’t,” JJ replied, mirroring her tone, a smile gracing his eyes as well as his lips.

Her gaze went from his eyes to his mouth and her breath caught in her throat.

She found herself leaning into him subconsciously as her mind wondered what it would be like to kiss him - to do the one thing they hadn’t already done together.

Her hands found his forearms, which were resting on her thighs. She slid her hands up over the length of his strong arms, a nervous but excited pit building in stomach, and onto his shoulders. His hands grazed up her thighs gently to settle on her hips, taking hold and pulling her close as she used her grip on his shoulders to do the same. JJ’s head fell forward, resting his forehead against hers, hands travelling under his shirt she was wearing and onto the warm, bare skin of her back.

Her mouth was hovering over his now, her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes fell closed. Her fists knotted in the material of his tank, pulling herself up onto her knees and placing one either side of his hips. She felt him breathe in sharply against her mouth, and her head was spinning, her insides fluttering with an overwhelming sense of need. She felt him adjust the angle of his face against hers, his faint stubble scratching pleasantly against her skin, lips barely brushing as his fingers pressed into her waist.

But just as she was sure their lips were about to meet, she pulled back slightly, placing a finger over his lips, foreheads still touching.

“Forfeit,” she said.

It took a moment for JJ’s eyes to open, and she sat back, trying to catch her breath as a look of confusion, then surprise passed across JJ’s features. He let out a breathy chuckle, leaning back in the hammock to rest his head against it as he ran a hand through his dishevelled blonde hair, eyes closed briefly.

“I knew it,” he said, staring her down with an amused smile. “I knew you didn’t have it in you, Kie.”

“Don’t be an ass, Jay. If I hadn’t stopped it, you would have.” Kie replied, playfully kicking at him. “It was a dumb idea. We’re high as shit and we would have regretted it tomorrow.”

“I think you’re giving me entirely too much credit here.” JJ said with a humourless chuckle. “I wasn’t about to stop anything that was goin’ on there.”

Kie rolled her eyes, a flutter returning to her stomach.

“But you’re right,” he said with a defeated sigh, dragging his hands down his face until they came to rest on his chest. “It would’ve been fun while it lasted though.”

“JJ,” Kie reprimanded, kicking at him again, a little harder this time.

“Okay, okay, jeez,” he surrendered, swinging himself out the hammock and onto his feet.

“Let’s go,” he said, gesturing with his head to the Chateau.

“Where?” Kie asked, getting to her feet rather ungracefully.

“Inside. I’m gonna give you a tattoo,” he said with his signature JJ grin.

“Immediately, no. Nuh-huh. No way,” she said, shaking her head and crossing her arms.

“Oh c’mon, Kie. Rules are rules. You pass on the dare, I get to choose your forfeit, and this is what I chose.” he jeered, and Kie could confirm he was 100% still high, and relief set in that she hadn’t gone through with the dare - regardless of how much she had wanted to in the moment. The fact that she was even entertaining the idea of letting him tattoo her was evidence that she was also still too high to be making sound decisions.

“What kinda tattoo are we talking about here?” she asked, and JJ immediately went to speak, but she threw a hand up and clamped it firmly over his mouth. “And I swear to God if you say your face on my ass, I will drag you off this dock, into the water and drown you with my bare hands,” she said in an obnoxiously sweet tone that entirely did not match her threatening words. She gave a throw of her head in the direction of the dock as she dropped her hand from his mouth just to emphasise her point.

“Well clearly that’s not the first time you’ve thought about doing that.” JJ replied, sounding unnerved. “That’s a little concerning…”

“Nope,” she said, popping the ‘p’. “And somehow I doubt it’ll be the last, either.”

The back and forth continued, until they agreed upon a dolphin - inspired by the bracelet - and settled on a spot, on her ribs, just below her boob. JJ was thrilled, but Kie only agreed because it was the only spot where people wouldn’t be able to easily see it, given that she spent so much time in bikinis.

They went inside to JJ’s “work station”, ie. John B’s coffee table, which Kie ensured had been thoroughly disinfected by dousing everything in straight vodka before letting him touch her.

It was painful, sure, but her lingering buzz helped to dull it, as did a few swigs from the vodka bottle. It felt like it took ages to finish, and although it was messy and far from perfect, JJ was so proud of it - “I personally think it has a lot of character”, he boasted - and she kinda loved it, even though she joked about being scarred for life.

When they woke up the next morning, hungover and feeling like shit on the pull out, it made for a welcome distraction from their “almost kiss” scenario, but equally Kie knew for her, it was also going to be a permanent reminder.

#jade writes jiara #jj maybank x kiara carrera #jj x kiara #jj x kie #jiara #outer banks

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