#Live at the House of the Blues L.A.

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

Stone Temple Pilots - Big Empty

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Strawberries and Cream

Paring: Eddie Diaz x Reader

Word count: 6.7k

Notes: *taps mic* I uh… i just want to stress that uh this is fanFICTION and whilst I did do some research I have completely pulled so much of this out of my ass. Malignant Hyperthermia is what I’m basing this off of and then pixie dust is what’s supplying the rest okay. Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust. Thank you.

P.s This is one of my favorite chapters of all time HONESTLY

Episode 9: I Don’t Dance

Does Buck just know everyone??

You’re sure he does as you stand in Eddie’s guest room or rather your bedroom, putting on your makeup to go to one of the most exclusive clubs in L.A

“So like…Tommy? Is coming? What’s that about??” You look at Maddie in the mirror and she smirks, shrugging

“Buck just says he’s a good friend that he wanted to introduce to us formally because they hang out a lot”

“Yeah…friend. Because I know all about that” You snicker and add some more glitter to your chest

“You better give me all the details. And you sure as hell better record if they dance together”

“Girl I’m already on it, Eddie and I are ready to capture this”

Maddie watches you, lying on her side with her hand propping up her head

“You sure you don’t wanna come?” You ask as you apply the glitter to your eyelids and she laughs

“Yeah definitely, I don’t think I can stand long enough to get through one dance”

“It would be so fun if you were there but I understand… you and Chim just have a good night together” You wiggle your eyebrows at her and she rolls her eyes

“Are you almost done?? I want to see your makeup!”

You drop your blue pencil and turn around in your seat, putting your hands to your cheeks and batting your eyelashes

“How do I look?”

Your eyes are done up to look like the night sky, glitter acting as the stars. It had been a fun look you had been practicing for a while and now seemed like the best time to debut it.

You get up from your vanity and stand in the middle of the room, with your arms down at your sides. Maddie gets off the bed, or rather rolls off, and looks you over, walking around you in a circle. She fixes up one of the ties on the side of your dress

“Just one question,” She says, standing back and you walk over to the mirror, heels clicking against the floor. You pull down the bottom of your dress a bit and fix a couple more ties

“What?”

“Where’s the rest of that dress” She asks sarcastically as you fix the off-the-shoulder sleeves

“Oh ha-ha very funny” You stick your tongue out and she swats your butt

“Do you at least have shorts on under that!”

You turn to the side “Does it look like I do? It’s a club Maddie! I wanna look cute…. For Eddie” you mumble the last sentence and she laughs at you

“He’s never gonna let you out of the house in that”

“He doesn’t have any say” You sass her and she scoffs

You walk out of the bedroom with her, giggling quietly as you two walk into the living room. The gang is all set to go as Chimney comes into the living room with a bowl of popcorn. He nearly drops it when he sees you, you walk past him, your perfume lingering in the air

“How do I look, guys?” You do a little spin and put your hands behind your back

“Go change,” Eddie and Buck say in unison and the girls lose it, laughing. Chimney sits down next to Tommy, passing him the popcorn bowl as they both mind their own damn business.

“What!! No!! This is perfect”

“You get your ass back in that bedroom and you change! Maddie! How could you let her out in that!” Buck cries out loudly as he gestures wildly

“Hey, I’m not in charge of her!” She puts her hands up in defense and Buck throws a pillow at her

“Maddie! As parents we need to-“

“Parents??” You say

“Make sure our little girl is dressed appropriately!- not like a sexy pole dancer! Who I fully respect making her bag”

“Hey she can dress however she wants” Hen chimes in

“Thank you!” You huff, crossing your arms. Eddie’s eyes nearly pop out of his head and he has to turn away from you for a minute

“That being said, Y/N go change”

“Oh come on!!!”

“That’s it! I’m telling Mom!!” Buck shouts, snapping a picture to send to Athena

“No, no, no!!” You yell, diving at him for the phone “I’ll change! I’m going I swear!”

You run off to the bedroom as Buck throws a pillow at you now. Eddie excuses himself quietly while they’re all talking about it and goes straight to your room.

You’re busy undoing a few of the ties when the door opens quietly and you look up through the mirror. Eddie closes the door and leans against it, staring at you

“Promise you’ll wear that dress on our next date?”

He whispers, his voice is low and husky as he walks towards you, every step feels like a predator staring at his prey. You turn to him, your dress half undone.

“I promise” Your hands shake a little as he walks closer. He stops in front of you, hooking his finger under your chin and tilting your head up. The way he kisses you is heated and passionate… definitely a promise for later. His other hand sears into your bare side, and you squeak when he yanks you against him, his cock hard, already

He pulls away from you, smirking at the dumb look on your face. He really needs to get around to video-taping exactly how he gets you that way.

“Can I pick something for you?” He turns to look at your closet and you nod slowly, watching him walk over to it and start carding through your dresses.

He takes his time, feeling the fabric between his fingertips, noting the colors and tones. He settles on a black sparkly bodycon dress with spaghetti straps

“I want you to know I love that dress Y/N. If you can even call it that”

He tosses the new dress on the bed and comes back over, helping you finish undoing all the ties

“But I don’t think I could let you out the front door in something like that without making sure my cum is dripping down your legs, and every person who sees you knows I claimed you over and over again”

He lifts you, dropping you down onto the bed and tearing the rest of the dress off your body. He stares at your wide eyes, sweet and doe-like. His eyes travel down your body, hungry and desperate to taste every inch of you

“Pasties and a g-string?” He says under his breath and you shrug sheepishly

“I-it’s a very small dress”

“Uh huh,” He agrees as he kicks his pants off, settling between your legs like you both love. He’s heavy and warm and you can feel his cum soaking through your pathetic excuse for underwear, he drags the tip of his cock over the black material, pushing against your clit and watching the way your juices coat the front of them too.

He’s grinning wickedly, pulling your panties to the side, when the door pops open and you squeak again, trying to scramble from underneath Eddie but he keeps you pinned to the bed. Buck walks in, blindly feeling around with his eyes shut tight

“Marco”

“Polo” Eddie sighs into your neck, and you giggle lightly, his breath tickling you.

“Oh god, oh gag that was from the bed. Okay anyway uh I realized way too late you were gone. So come on, get your pants back on so we can leave already! We’re gonna be late!”

“How did you know my pants were off??” Eddie gets up from the bed, pouting as he stares at your naked body and pulls on his pants again, he blows you a kiss and turns Buck around, steering him from the bedroom.

Chimney sits at the wheel as you all load into Buck’s Jeep, he’s driving you there tonight at the request of Bobby who doesn’t want anyone driving anywhere. Chim is taking you there and Bobby volunteered to pick you up afterwards

“Alright this is the most illegal thing I’ve done today” He chuckles as he fixes the review mirror. Tommy is upfront, Buck is in Eddie’s lap, you’re in Hen’s lap and Karen is squished in the middle

“It’s just like when we were kids! Everyone say thank you Uncle Chimney” Buck slaps his hands on Chimney's shoulders and rubs them

“Thank you Uncle Chimney!!”

The club is in full party mode as you all arrive, Buck makes a quick call as you pull up and everyone piles out. You straighten out your dress and Eddie walks over, pulling you behind the car and to him by your waist, placing a sweet kiss on your lips

“Is it dramatic I really wanted you to be in my lap”

You giggle and kiss him back “Nah not really, because I really wanted to be in your lap”

A girl comes out of the club, shouting Buck's name and running towards him. He scoops her up and hugs her tightly

“Oop” you whisper as you walk over to them and Hen elbows you as Buck sets her down

“You guys this is Gina! We go way back! She’s one of the owners here and has graciously invited us to come tonight”

You’re all saying hello and exchanging pleasantries when Buck pulls you away from Eddie for a minute

“This is Y/N, the cousin I always told you about?”

Gina smiles widely and shakes your hand a bit aggressively

“It’s so nice to finally meet you! Buck used to talk about you constantly. I was beginning to think you were made up!”

You giggle and shake her hand back “Nope I’m real!! It’s really nice to meet you. I wish someone had talked about you more, this place is awesome!”

“Buck actually helped me with the designs all those years ago. It’s my privilege to have you all here! Drinks are on the house! Top shelf only for my friends!”

You all cheer and thank her and she leads you into the club. It’s a nice-looking place, very clean for a club. The dance floor is packed as the music booms through the speakers, you can feel the bass as you walk. Buck forms a little chain with you, he’s holding your hand and Tommy’s and you’re holding his and Eddie’s.

You’re led to a raised platform with a cozy-looking booth with dim fairy lights on it. It’s pretty close to the bar

“I saved the best seat in the house for you!” Gina yells over the music, taking the reserved sign off the table

“Thank you! Come join us for a drink later!” Buck shouts back hugging her and she smiles

“Will do!! Especially with you handsome” She winks at Eddie as she walks away and you whirl around to look at him. He looks at you, a light blush on his cheeks and you narrow your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest

“Mine!” You say in a little voice and he snorts, stepping over to you and putting his hands on your ass. He squeezes lightly and pulls you into him, kissing all over your face

“Yours baby girl”

A tray of blue shots is brought over to the table and the head bartender introduces himself as Max and tells you Gina has made your group priority so if you all need anything else just come to the bar and ask for him.

He takes your drink orders and walks off with a friendly wave, winking at Tommy. Buck aggressively takes his shot, shrugging when you ask him if he’s okay. Eddie nearly chokes on his as he laughs at Buck.

After too many shots (according to Eddie) a third of a Long Island iced tea and a few sips of Hen’s margarita you’re ready to dance. You’d been there about an hour, just taking time to relax together and talk and definitely give the alcohol a chance to work its way through your system. Eddie did his best to keep water and fries in your mouth but by the time you drag him onto the dance floor you’re tipsy as hell

It doesn’t even matter that there are a hundred-plus people around you, you’re feeling yourself too damn much to care. You put Eddie’s hands on your hips and bend over, shaking your ass on his cock. He watches you with wide, lust-filled eyes

“I didn’t know you could do that,” He says over the music, his heart practically beating in time with the base

“Neither did I!!” You laugh as you stand against him, dragging your body on him. It’s barely dancing at this point and outright dry-humping but he can’t bring himself to stop you

“What’s your safe word?” He asks you, his mouth close to your ear as he starts to kiss your neck

“Fanark!!” You giggle wildly but make a point to turn and look up into his eyes

Oh, there’s no way in hell he’s stopping you now.

He slips his leg between yours, dancing with you and tilts your head up with the tip of his finger while he stares at you

“Come on” He whispers “You know what I want”

Your eyes widen as you slowly start to grind on his leg, he keeps his eyes on you, biting his lip as he watches you get off on him in public. You reach for his belt and he smirks, putting his hands over yours

“Let’s go find somewhere private” He growls in your ear and your heart leaps out of your chest

“O-okay”

He turns to walk away with you and walks right into Buck. Tommy grabs you by your waist and they both pull you apart

“Oh hell no,” Buck says and you whine loudly, stomping your feet

“Your first time is not gonna be in this club!!” Buck pulls Eddie away to go dance with him

“How do you know we haven’t had it!” Eddie yells at Buck and Buck rolls his eyes

“Because I didn’t get an “I only lasted six seconds” text”

You and Tommy laugh as they walk away to go dance and Tommy turns you around

“You don’t mind dancin' with me do you darlin?” He asks as he kisses the back of your hand and you giggle

“Of course not!!”

The two of you dance together and you learn a lot about him, he seems to know all about you, you’re Buck’s favorite topic. And you’re slightly excited for Tommy to become his new favorite topic because he’s an absolute gem.

A really tall, really buff, really kind, gem.

You ask why he didn’t mention knowing you at the party and he laughs a little

“Because it would have been weird as hell approaching a pretty girl like you and telling you how I knew all about you”

Hen and Karen eventually come over and the four of you dance together, trading partners for each song. Tommy is spinning you around as you laugh and squeal when you freeze, your sight zeroed in on a girl drunkenly dancing on Eddie as he tries to hand her off to her friends who are trying to get her to come with them. Tommy looks in the same direction and snorts. He doesn’t even let you go as you go running off to Eddie

“Ma’am- Miss- please” Eddie is gently trying to push her off and her friends are standing around her

“Michaela! This is so embarrassing! Get off that really hot guy!!” Her friend tries to yank her away and she clings to Eddie

“Yeah, Michaela! Get off that really hot guy!” you say in a Valley girl accent. You put your hands on your hips and Eddie stares at you, his eyes wide they all turn to you.

“You maybe wanna get off my man?” You say, in a sweet little polite voice.

“Honey I don’t see your name on him” Michaela scoffs, running her hand down Eddie’s chest.

“You maybe wanna get off my man?” You say again and start to take off your shoes “Before I make you”

She tosses her head back laughing cruelly

“Are you threatening me pipsqueak?”

You’ll be honest, Michaela is model quality. She’s pretty, she’s thin, she’s tall.

But she’s not smart.

And she doesn’t know you.

“Damn right I am, now step off or get your ass kicked, doesn’t matter to me”

“Look, honey. I’m pretty sure Eric-“

“Eddie” He corrects her

“Wants to go home with a real woman. Not some child in whores clothing. So I’ll give you one more chance to leave me the fuck alone”

Well. You warned her.

You're about to pounce, going to jump on her and scratch that smug look off her face when Tommy’s arms catch your waist and hold you back, something he’s starting to get used to doing. Eddie takes you from Tommy, throwing you over his shoulder as you pound on his back thrashing around and trying to sink your claws into her. He gives your ass a firm smack and you squeak, halting your movements as he walks a few feet away

“Look. ” He sets you back down, holding you flush against his chest as Gina walks over to the group,

Tommy comes over and gets on his knee, taking your ankle to get your shoes back on

“Are we having an issue here” She glares and Michaela scoffs.

“Actually we are. I want that bitch kicked out” She points directly at you and your mouth drops open.

“Excuse me?” Gina asks and Michaela turns to her

“You heard me! Look honey I know the owner and I don’t want to have to call him. So can you please get this skank out of my site”

She throws a couple of hundreds at Gina and Buck’s mouth drops open

Gina stares at the money before taking out her radio and making a call, Michaela’s friends have left her, all except for two, who look equally as nasty

“Ms. Toretto?” Two large men show up, looking incredibly intimidating

“Would you please escort this young lady off the premises?” Gina points to Michaela and she gasps, pointing her finger in Gina’s face

“Who the fu-“

“Gina Toretto! Owner of this fine establishment. And you’ve messed with my friends. If I ever see you in this club again you will be arrested. Have a nice life bitch”

She spins on her heel, tossing her hair over her shoulder

“Let’s go” She nods to the four of you and you all follow after her, listening to Michaela scream about suing everyone involved.

Gina apologizes first of all for that girl and second of all for hitting on Eddie earlier

“I really didn’t know. But damn were you ready to fight her” Gina laughs and you look up at Eddie, smiling sweetly, but he sees that little crazy twinkle in your eye and he smirks at it, poking your nose

“Without question”

Eddie has to calm you down, again. So he lets you knock back the rest of his Cosmo and pull him back onto the dance floor. Tommy and Buck are a little ways away from you two, whispering in each other’s ears. You wriggle in Eddie’s arms and he chuckles while holding you close for a moment

“You good, Sugar cube?”

“I’ve never seen Buck look so happy…“

You and Eddie have your phones up, pretending to just be taking snaps for stories, but there’s no doubt what you’re really doing

Tommy has his hands on Buck’s waist, it’s sinfully respectful and you and Eddie are trying not to squeal. They’re dancing to Saturn by Sza and Buck looks peacefully elated and it makes your heart burst to see him so happy.

“I can see why the “just a friend” thing pissed Buck off so much” Eddie whispers in your ear and you laugh, reaching back and kissing his cheek

“He’s never gonna let us live that down”

Eddie takes your phone from you, slips it in his pocket, and puts his arms around you. pulling you close to him. You lay your head on his chest and he kisses your head softly, quietly singing the song to you

“You know, I think I’m okay right here with you… I don’t need Saturn” He whispers in your ear and you look up at him, your eyes sparkling in the dim lights of the club

“I like you, Eddie,” You say softly and he smirks, putting his head against yours too

“I like you too”

“Did you mean what you said the other night? That you don’t fall in love?”

Oh, so you’d heard him.

“I don’t know anymore”

“I don’t either”

“Just say it…it…it…it” Buck creates his own echo in your ear and you nearly jump six feet in the air as he leans back laughing. He stumbles into Tommy who holds him steady. He’s definitely tipsy, or maybe even drunk at this point

“Would you quit it!!” You yell and push him and he pushes you back and you stumble into Eddie who catches you.

“Okay children, enough” Tommy rolls his eyes and Buck sticks his tongue out at you and you do it back. Eddie rolls his eyes too and looks at Tommy

“I’m already in too deep, but you have a chance to run from this” He gestures between you two making stupid faces at each other

Tommy chuckles, shaking his head “No, I don’t think I do”

Both of you are too drunk to catch the look that Tommy gives Buck, but Eddie isn’t, it’s the same way he’d look at you when you weren’t looking. Eddie finally grabs your shoulders and turns you around to pick you up

“Alright dumbasses let’s go get another drink”

“Let’s do shots again!!” Buck cheers as Tommy takes his hand, following Eddie back to the table

“Yeah, shots!!!” You cheer loudly as Eddie throws you over his shoulder

Hen and Karen are sitting at the table as Eddie plops you down in the booth, you “oooooo” at them as they pull away from each other and Hen rolls her eyes

“You’re ruining the moment” She smirks, giving your leg a whack and you laugh, hugging her tightly

“I’m sorry!! Do you want me to leave, I can leave. I’ll even leave the club!! Eddie let’s leave the club”

You take your phone back from his pocket and stuff it in your clutch

“No honey you don’t have to leave” She hugs you back and you sigh loudly, closing your eyes as you lean against her

“Good because you’re my friend and I don’t wanna leave!! I’m having fun!!”

“I’m glad you’re having fun, Eddie when was the last time you gave her water”

“You think she knows what water is?” He pulls you off of Hen and into his lap and you whine reaching for her

“We were bonding!” You scold him and he rolls his eyes

“Baby I think she wants to bond with her wife”

Your mouth drops open and your eyes go wide as you look at him and he laughs, letting his head fall against the booth

“Eddie!!! We’re gonna ruin their moment!! We gotta leave the club!!”

You try to wriggle from his arms, maneuvering yourself awkwardly until you’re lying across his lap

“How did she do that” Karen asks, sipping her drink

“I have no idea but I’m not complaining,” Eddie says, smacking your ass and you squeak

“Hey!!”

“What am I looking at” Buck asks as he sets the tray down on the table, Tommy sets another one down next to it and they start passing them out

“I think Eddie’s horny I can feel his-“

He slaps his hand over your mouth and you keep talking through it, completely muffled

“Please tell me one of you brought water”

“Why would I do a stupid thing like that” Buck snickers, slamming his shot back and handing one down to you and you nibble at Eddie’s fingers until he uncovers your mouth and you take the shot

“That’s why I went with him and my shots are water” He whispers the last part handing Buck one who slams it back too fast to even care. He takes your hands, dragging you off Eddie’s lap and pulling you up so you don’t fall

“Let’s go dance!!” He says excitedly and you and Buck runoff

“I’m on it” Tommy puts his hand up before Eddie can get up and runs after you two

“They’re having way too much fun” Karen giggles and Eddie sighs, watching you and Buck dancing like idiots and smiles

“Yeah I know they are”

Tommy stays behind you, keeping any jerks away from you and Buck stays in front of you, holding your hands and swinging your arms wildly while you both go crazy. As the song changes for a fourth time, Tommy finally picks you up and drags you and Buck back to the table. Hen, Karen, and Eddie are laughing about something as he puts you down in the booth and pushes Buck to sit down. He falls backward, dragging Tommy with him and all four of you freeze as they kiss. Buck lets his head fall back onto the seat as he laughs deliriously

Oh, he’s drunk.

“I think he pre-gamed a little hard” Tommy says, his cheeks practically on fire and you get up from the booth, feeling a little sober and a lot ready to shake Buck by the shoulders and scream excitedly

“I’m gonna go order some water!! And maybe some cheese curds who knows”

“Let me go with you” Eddie starts to scoot out of the booth and Hen goes with him

“Actually I’ll go! I’m gonna get another margarita”

She grabs you by the wrist and the two of you twist your way through the hot crowd. You don’t get very far from the booth when your arm is ripped from Hen’s hand.

“Hey pretty mama, you wanna dance with a real man?”

The man who had been eyeing you all night finally gets his hands on you, pulling you flush against his chest and grinding his crotch against your ass. You weren’t the first girl he’d done that to, but you were sure as hell gonna be the last. Before you can even stomp on his foot he’s ripped off of you and thrown to the floor

“Get your goddamn hands off my girlfriend”

Eddie is on top of him, beating the absolute shit out of him, the man rolls them over, punching Eddie a good few times too. He reaches out, breaking a bottle and pointing it at Eddie.

Hen runs to get Buck and Tommy from the table, Eddie can definitely handle himself for a minute while she gets back up.

“You get off of him!!!” You scream and start kicking him in the side. Buck comes running over, grabbing you by the waist, and handing you off to Tommy, who keeps you tightly locked to his chest as you kick and threaten

“No one punches my best friend!!” Buck yells as he rips the man off Eddie and punches him, he pulls Eddie up and they both take this guy out, taking turns punching him. He gets in a couple of good hits on Buck with the way he’s swinging wildly and you can feel Tommy tense up a little. But Buck punches him right in the balls as Eddie punches his face and he screams in pain

The ladies around you all start cheering and laughing at the guy crying on the floor. He’d gotten inappropriate with way more girls than you’d originally thought

“Eddie beat his ass!!” You cheer and the little group goes wild

“Hey, the bouncer is coming!” One of the girls yells over the crowd and Buck and Eddie freeze

“Scatter!!!” You shout and you all go running out of the club. Hen takes your hand as you hop along and take off your shoes. You, Karen, and Tommy run out behind her while Buck and Eddie go running god knows where. But you all definitely get help in escaping. No one is helping that douchebag

You finally stop running when you get a block or two away. You bend over, wheezing, and lean against the building next to you

“Ohhh man I haven’t run since like….. ever” You cough and Karen nods along with you. You both stare at Hen and Tommy, who are softly panting

“Show offs” You both flick them off and they laugh.

Hen helps Karen stand up straight and rubs her back

“Where did the boys go?” Hen asks as she looks around and you shrug

“Speak of the devil” You hold up your phone, waving it

“Hi baby,” You say in a sickly sweet voice and he laughs

“Hey cutie, where are you?”

“I have no idea! Where are you?”

“I also have no idea!” He says just as cheerily as you did and you giggle, sending him your location

“Oh hey, we’re not far from there! We’ll call Bobby and meet you”

“I don’t think we’ll all fit in his car” You laugh as you look up, Karen looks pale and Tommy looks horrified. You look around, seeing if someone’s coming after you. Tommy quickly wipes his hands on his pants

“Don’t worry we’ll get a big enough one. Go to the diner down the street alright? We’ll pick you up”

You hang up and give them a double thumbs up

“Alright, the boys are meeting us at the diner down the street”

“Are you feeling okay??” Tommy asks you, coming over to put his hand on your lower back

“Uhhh should I not be??” You ask, looking up at him and you stumble a little, becoming dizzy. But mans is 14 inches taller, of course, you’d be dizzy looking all the way up there!!

“Whoa, what the heck was that? I told Eddie not to get me drunk” You giggle a little and suddenly Tommy is scooping you up in his arms, your head lolls a little and you lean it against his shoulder

“Hey, what’s with the Princess treatment?!”

“It’s nothing, Sweetpea, you just uh, look a little tired,” He says calmly and you all start walking towards the diner, his pace is quick, and his long legs carrying you stride ahead of Hen and Karen

“Would you slow down, you’re making me dizzy!”

Your words are becoming slurred and you frown deeply, suddenly there’s two Tommys too

“Hey- hey hey hey stay with me honey,” Tommy says as he walks into the diner

“I need help!” He calls out as he lays you on a table

“Tommy, what’s going on?” You ask, becoming nervous now. He smooths your hair back, kissing your head as he pulls out his phone

“You’re just a little injured that’s all, it’s gonna be okay I’ve got you. I promised Buck and Eddie I would look out for you tonight”

“You did? You don’t even know me” You blink slowly at him and he pats your cheek, smiling

“Of course I did, you mean a lot to them. Which means you mean a lot to me”

You sniffle a little, holding his hand, and a waitress brings over a first-aid kit

“Can I have an order of fries?” you ask her and she smiles, patting your leg

“Course you can honey I’ll go put the order in”

She touches Tommy’s arm, whispering something to him and he nods looking back at you

“Did you have a nice night?” Tommy asks as Hen comes over and slips on a pair of gloves while Karen stands next to your feet

“The best night” You sigh dreamily, closing your eyes

“Hey, look at me sweetpea,” Tommy says softly, turning your head to look at him.

“What made it the best night huh?” He asks, you hear sirens in the distance and you look around a little, he turns your head back to him and smiles

“What made it the best night?” He asks softer this time and you shrug

“Just being with Eddie… you know, officially. And you and Buck…” You wriggle your eyebrows and he blushes

“We’re just friends”

Hen barks out a laugh and Karen groans, you giggle breathlessly and squeeze his hand weakly

“That’s what me and Eddie said”

“For nearly six months” Hen glares at you and you stick your tongue out at her

“Oh trust me, I’ve heard about that” Tommy chuckles

“But in all honesty… Buck and I are just friends” He pokes your nose playfully “…For now”

He keeps your eyes on him, every time you try to look around he just pulls you right back. The sirens stop outside of the diner and Karen goes over to the doors, Buck and Eddie come running in and Tommy gets up quickly, holding Buck back and whispering to him

“Hi baby,” Eddie says softly, his voice a little wobbly.

“Hey Superman” you purr weakly and he smirks, kissing your hand. You run your fingers through his hair and then over his face, avoiding all of the cuts and bruises he’d endured. God, he looks good like that

“Seems you’ve gotten yourself into a little pickle,” He says carefully and you shrug

“I’m just chillin here, Tommy said I seemed a little winded after running”

“Yeah I bet you did, you haven’t run since like, ever”

“That’s exactly what I said!!” You squeal and Eddie laughs, kissing down your arm

“How uh…how do you feel? The paramedics walk over quietly and Hen gets up

“You’re not the first person to ask me that,” you tell him, gripping his hand as best you can

“What’s going on?”

“You remember… when that asshole broke the bottle?” He whispers and you nod slowly

“Well…it seems like a piece of it found its way to you,” He says slowly and you freeze, not breathing, not blinking, not moving.

“Are you telling me I got stabbed” you whisper softly

“And you’ve been bleeding out on this table… yeah”

You finally look down and see the dark wet spot on your dress

“Oh… I’ve been impaled”

Buck bursts out laughing and they look at him like he’s crazy. You’re loaded onto the spinal board and strapped down carefully, while you’re also giggling

Buck shrugs “What?! She was being Olaf”

“What do you mean, “complications” she was awake in the ambulance”

Now it seems to be Eddie’s turn in the ER.

Everyone is in the little family waiting room, even Bobby and Athena rushed to the hospital when Buck told them.

They hadn’t heard much since you’d gotten in, in fact, things were perfectly fine for a while, cheerful even with Buck excitedly telling Maddie, Chim, Athena, and Bobby what had happened at the club while one nurse cleaned up a cut above his eyebrow and another cleaned Eddie’s lip. Eddie looked the worst but it felt more like a medal than a bruise. He’d gladly take down a hundred more guys that messed with you and all those other women.

Athena is scolding both boys, for not holding back and letting her do something about it. But they know she’s proud of them, and that it’s just her job to do so. On the other hand, Bobby high-fives them both, telling them how proud he is of his boys and that he’s never been more glad to know them.

They’re both getting their knuckles cleaned when the Doctor comes in, a hard look on his face.

“Mrs. Diaz’s family?”

“That’s us,” Eddie says “Is everything okay? Can we see her now?”

“Mr Diaz I’m sorry to have to tell you this, But Mrs. Diaz, Y/N, is in a coma.”

It’s like the air has been sucked from the room, Eddie pushes the nurse out of the way, it’s not rough, just so he has room to stand up in front of the doctor

“What the hell do you mean my baby is in a coma? Again, she was awake in the fucking ambulance! I was talking to her! We were joking about spinach puffs!”

“I know sir- I know” The doctor holds his hands up, trying to calm him down “She had some issues with the anesthesia, it- it didn’t go the way we wanted it to. It was a very bad reaction”

“Did you get the glass out?” Buck asks, standing next to Eddie

“We weren’t able to operate no, our priority was to get her off the anesthesia and get her fever down”

“So she’s still got the damn bottle in her side and she’s in a coma?!” Eddie raises his voice, holding his head in his hands

“Can I see her?!”

“No, I'm sorry sir you can’t. She’s still in the ICU, but as soon as she’s stable enough to move to a room we’ll come to get you”

“And when will that be?” Buck asks calmly, turning Eddie around to hug him. He holds him tightly, almost more for himself than anything. Eddie hugs him back, burying his face in his neck

“We don’t know. We’re going to try a local anesthetic and get the glass out that way. We must stop the bleeding as soon as possible. All I can tell you is to sit tight and wait. We’re gonna do everything we can”

Bobby takes over now, walking the Doctor out of the room. Tommy gets up, bringing Buck and Eddie over to a couple of chairs to sit down. They both collapse into the hard plastic, slouching down in the seat and letting their heads fall against the wall

“I should have gone with her to get the drinks. None of this would be happening if I’d just gotten up”

“None of this would be happening if I’d held onto her tighter,” Hen says quietly and Karen hugs her tightly

“Buck and Eddie beat the shit out of that man, he needed his ass kicked and we all know if Y/N was here she wouldn’t let you blame yourselves like this. She’d do it 10 times over if she knew that creep was gonna get what was coming to him. ”

“Besides, you couldn’t have known she was allergic to anesthesia… this is an entirely different issue that could have happened any time,” Tommy says, looking worriedly at Eddie

“She should have been wearing an I.D bracelet that’s such a rare thing,” Maddie says, Chimney has his arms around her tightly as they sit together in a chair

“I should have known,” Eddie says angrily, his hands over his face “I should know what the woman I’m dating is allergic to”

“You know about peanuts, and honestly that’s the most important one Eddie. Maddie and I didn’t even know and we’re her cousins”

“Do you think she knew?” Tommy asks quietly and they all stop talking, because no… it seems like maybe you didn’t.

“Has she gotten her wisdom teeth out yet?” Hen asks and Buck shrugs

“No not yet, she hasn’t really had any type of surgeries in her life”

“So there would be no reason for her to have had to be under anesthesia,” Tommy says “None of you could have known”

“I still feel like I should have” Eddie crosses his arms over his chest, his brow furrowed “I should have”

Buck leans his head on Eddie’s shoulder and smiles sadly “Yeah. We should have.”

Eddie lays his head against Buck’s, and Tommy sits back in his seat, reaching out for Buck’s hand. He hesitates just a little before taking it, squeezing as tightly as he can for a second

“She’s gonna have a field day with that one” Eddie mumbles as he shuts his eyes

“Oh shut up” Buck scoffs

No one is going to convince Eddie this isn’t his fault they don’t even try, and no one can convince Buck or Maddie either. So all they can do is band together, in this tiny little waiting room, full of their family, and blame themselves.

[lyrenminth]

Quiet love 1/?

Hello, this is a mini serie of Justin Herbert. More than whole chapters are like meaningful moments in their relatioship. I hope you like it.

You knew Justin since childhood, both of you were quiet souls that's why you got along. Despite some differences, your friendship was something stable until the last years of highschool when you move to another city. Even though, you still keep in contact with him. He kept you in knowledge of his family in Eugene, as well as your family. You talked to him about your career, you new friend, how cold it was during winter. Until he got drafted you messaged each other every day. Justin's life change a lot, and he was busy most of the time. He just sent you messages saying: "Sorry" "Meeting" "Sorry I'm busy" And you understood. You weren't a priority in his life. You saw him in person a couple of times before finishing your career, and he was bulkier, stronger and leaving the child-face you liked so much. Still, he was a freak clean, and avoided people like a plague. On the other hand, you were so introvert like you used to. He noticed and was happy for you but you could tell he felt uneasy about that. His childhood friend changed, and the woman talking to him was different. During a meeting between the two families because both of you were back in Eugene, you were almost finished with your career and a great job opportunity appeared in LA. So you were stressed out for the living cost, and talking about this with Mark and Holly they suggested to stay in Justin's house until you got on your feet and could afford an apartment. Justin who was listening in silence, gulped his food and raised and eyebrow. "I mean, she's your friend and you are never there" Holly argued, smiling "And you have extra bedrooms" You looked at Justin puzzled. He didn't look happy or mad about the idea, just pensative. Maybe would be uncomfortable for him? What if he has a girlfriend or fwb situation? You didn't want him to stop doing whatever he was doing. It was his house. For sure, you would struggle a little bit like you did in Michigan but you could cope. "I don't think that's..." "...yeah, sure..." you said at the same time. You looked at each other, and you giggled. "I don't want to bother" you replied, looking at Holly. Somehow looking at him was difficult. You were a single girl, you had eyes. You couldn't ignore how fucking big and handsome he was. During highschool he was somehow lanky, during college he started gaining muscle and fat but now? He was a wall. A strong, warm and nerdy wall. The way his back muscles move under that Nike shirt, his waist and pecs. His big calloused hands... You blinked those sinful thoughts away. Thinking that way led to nowhere. "It's going to be temporary" his mother argued. "Yeah, the house has an extra bedroom I don't use" he added, more convinced this time. You looked at your parents who were talking with Mark and his girlfriend on the other side of the table. They trusted Justin more than any other man in your life. "Are you sure?" you asked Justin. His slinted eyes under that light were blue. "Yeah, no problem" he said, but you noticed the way his throat bubbled.

***

The job was yours. And you cried and celebrate and cried again. Leaving your life in Michigan was the most difficult thing. You met wonderful people along the way and couldn't believe that chapter in your life was ending. Of course you cried when you arrived at L.A. According to Justin, it was the preseason so he could skip a meeting to go and pick you up. You refused arguing that you could take a taxi or Uber but he insisted. You were looking for the gate when you saw him. He was outstanding. He dressed casual, with his cap and sunglasses that belonged to a old man. You felt the urge to drop everything and ran into his arms like the movies but this blonde man was you childhood friend. Don't friends hug like that though? He didn't saw you until you were meters apart. Looking down, you saw the corners of his lips lift a little bit. "Hey" he said. "Hey" you smiled at him. And without thinking for a second you hug him tight. "I can't believe I'm here" you explained feeling emotional, you gave two step away to look at him. "I mean, I know I'm here but... it's been a long travel" A long time. A lot of change. A lot of everything. "It's seems. I'm happy you're here" he said, looking at your luggage. Three suitcases and your backpack. "Let's go" said taking your luggage from you. You didn't say anything more than thank you because you really didn't want to carry anything. You went to the parking lot and found his very nice car. He put the bigger suitcases in the back. L.A was sunny, looking like a beautiful day. You saw an airplane in the sky flying to who knows where. Surreal. You caught a glimpse of Justin who was looking at you. With his glasses on he was a mistery, so you just grinned at him. "You ready?" He croaked. "Yes, sir"

*** Justin house wasn't a mansion, but it was big for a man living alone. There was a pool, and the green doors and interior remind you to his parents' house in Oregon. Justin always needed something familiar around him to feel grounded. New places felt uneasy for him, and changed was something he always struggled as a child. You supposed that changed when he entered the league because every year was different. Apparently not. "This is your room" he said opening a door. It was spacious and the bed looked comfy "It has its on bathroom and closet" You nodded. "Thank you so much for letting me stay. I'll try to cause the least trouble possible" he frowned at your last words, but you ignore him. Looking at the window amazed by the sight of the pool and the garden. "The cleaning lady comes twice a week. I tell her you are here" he explained. "Can I use the pool?" You heard a "meow" and flinched. A bengal cat appeared between Justin's legs, purring. "Oh, sorry. This is Nova" he said fondly. The cat looked at you with her big green eyes and walked away, uninterested. "Yes, you can" he answered to your question. You lock eyes for a few seconds. "Thank you again" "No problem" he shrugged. "No, seriously. I'm invading your privacy and eating all your food" he snorted at you. "You're my friend" he replied, running his hand through his hair avoiding your gaze. "I'm happy to see you again" you stated. He didn't say a word. Only look at the floor for a few seconds before nodding. "I let you unpack. I'm going to order some sushi, it's that alright?" "Perfect" "Ok" He left, and you sat on the bed. You came back to live with your childhood friend. You couldn't believe it.

*** It was true that Justin was never in the house. He wake up early in the morning and arrived until seven pm. The season had just begun and he had to fly for the away games. You never noticed how erratic was his life style. Your job on the other hand leave you more time for you and your hobbies. In order to make friends you join a crochet club, and a baking club too. You video call your parents three times a week as well as your friends. You watched every Sunday game to see how the Chargers were doing, and Justin was an excellent quarterback. He succeeded at his position and was such a fun to see him play. You discovered so much about LA in your first month. Kath, a woman you met in your crochet classes was your personal tourist guide. She was very kind and chatty. One day, before going to sleep Justin knocked your door. He was wearing his pijamas, and looked tired. "Hello" you said from your bed. You were reading before going to sleep. "Do you need something?" "I- I want to apologize for being a terrible friend" he said. His eyes were sad, something your attribute to the loss last Sunday. "I haven't asked you anything about your job or how have you been" "Don't worry I know you're busy" you replied in a soft voice. "I never thought the NFL would be so rough" "Yeah, it is" he declared. "So you aren't not mad at me?" You frowned. "No, what makes you think I was?" "I just realized we speak less when we live in the same house" he pointed out. "I started my job, and I join two clubs" He raised his eyebrows, impressed. "Of what?" "Crochet and baking" "Well, I'm glad..." he pressed his lips together, insecure. "I'm going to try to be more in contact" "Don't bother, I know you don't even reply to your family texts during the season" you sighed. "I told you I'm gonna try not to be a burden... enough with you lending me a car" "You're not " he cut you off. "Don't say that" "I don't understand why would you take such efforts, Herbie" He looked at you for a few seconds. His posture was tense. You recognize his expression, he was unsure if tell the truth or not. "I think you believe you are less in my life of what I consider yourself to be..." he started, and sounded sad. He took a few steps until he was at the edge of your bed. And slowly sat down. He had fresh burns on his arms due to the turf. His hair was damp from the shower and he smelled incredibly well. "I realized that it would be alright if I have someone to talk to. Talk about things that are not work related. I know we have dinner some nights and it was great to talk to someone who knows me before all of this" he explained. "I would love to have more nights like that" "Dinner nights" you said, "ok, we can make that" "Yeah?" he said, smiling. "Yes! I can make something even though I'm not a MasterChef" "We can order...or I can cook too" "Not brisket..." He laughed. "Well, that reduces my options drastically" "You can always make a sandwich" He was smiling again. His bad mood disappearing. You stay in a comfortable silence until he looked at you abandoned book and grabbed it. "You still read" he says, reading the cover. "Yes" "It helps you to sleep" it wasn't a question. "Yeah" you said softly. "You can talk to me about your work too. You can talk to me, Justin. It's not good to keep the things for yourself" He didn't say anything. Only looked at you with those beautiful eyes of his and nodded. "I'm going to sleep" he declared "Yeah, I should too" He stood up, and walked to the door. He stopped and lingered a few seconds. "Good night" "Night" The butterflies in your stomach indicated trouble. It wasn't a good sign.

*** Justin: Dinner with the boys. Imma arriving late. There's still spaghetti on the fridge I think

You: Alright Nova and I are having a girls' night

You took a picture of Nova sitting comfortable next to you on the couch. He liked the picture.

Justin: Looks good

That was the last message he sent you. He arrived quite late, stumbling a little bit. He was giggling at his keys because he couldn't put them in the key-holder. You watched the show in silence, holding your laughter. "Mmmm mmm" he started mumbling the Star Wars theme and you completely lost it. He got scared and jumped on his place making you laugh harder. "Shit, what are you doing?" He hissed. "I-I thought..." You sneezed trying to catch your breath. "Nevermind. Are you...drunk?" "No" he replied shortly. "Oh, Justin. I know you, you are all pink" you said. "You are wasted" "I'm not" "Yes, you are" "No, I'm not" "Walk in a straight line then" "Nah" You turned on the lights of the hallway to see him better. You completely forgot about how you were dressing; a big shirt and panties. Nothing else. You caught him staring at your legs and boobs for a few seconds before you help him to get in the kitchen. "Drink lots of water. Why did you get drunk? You have to work tomorrow" you scolded him. He sat and drank a full watter bottle in three gulps. "We can arrive at midday. Since the team is performing well the coach want us to relax a bit" he explained, not sounding so drunk, his eyes wanderer again to your boobs. You felt a little exposed so crossed your arms. "Well, I'm going back to sleep" you said, making sure he was fine "Don't fall on the stairs, please. I can't carry you for dear life" He chuckled. "Okay" You walked pass him, but he held your wrist. That single touch set your skin on fire. You looked up to him, confused. His expression was serious, bright eyes full of determination. You stomach flipped and you were ready to do anything... anything he wanted. If he would look at you like that forever... You waited for him to say something, but he only stared at you. The mood shifted and you could feel the air changing around you. "Justin..." you whispered, one step closer. Then he blinked and all the emotion vanished from his face. He let you go quickly. "Sorry, I'm kinda drunk. Good night " You stared in disbelief for a few seconds. But he wasn't even looking at you. You felt your throat closed, and recognize the sick feeling. "Good night" Sometimes Justin could be so mean. You remembered the times were he would make you cry as kids, but now it's different. You went to your room, feeling sad. Why you were so sad about this? Justin was your friend, not something else. He was being polite. Besides, he was drunk. Maybe he was thinking about other girl. What keep you awake was the painful question: Am I falling in love with my best friend?

[cyberrfangs]

“Velvet Ring” — . . . Big Thief ♬

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:

IN WHICH…

You’ve always had feelings for Nick. But, has he ever felt the same way you feel for him?

WARNINGS: male!reader, angst, use of Y/n

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

“BEN, he loved her like he loved no one”

“THE way she laughed and held a smoking gun”

“THE way she always said, ‘What’s done is done’”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

My feelings towards Nick were always there. When we were kids, I would always get nervous whenever we hid together in hide in seek. Or whenever we would partner up together in class.

It took until Nick had come out that I finally came face to face with my feelings. And they only grew stronger once the realization settled in.

I had always been there for the triplets, helping start their YouTube career, moving with them to L.A., and things like that.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

I sat in the Sturniolo’s living room occupied on my phone before a text chimed from the top of my phone. From Nick.

Nick❤️

— “Hey, just finished filming today’s video! Coming back now.”

I always volunteered to watch over their house whenever they filmed. Well, why wouldn’t I? I would get a free opportunity to see Nick and snag a few of the snacks in their pantry. A win on both ends.

You

— “Alright! I’ll see you all soon, drive home safe.”

I typed, setting down my phone with a light sigh as I got up. Freshening up the kitchen and living room, fixing whatever I had messed with throughout the few hours.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

The sound of the front door unlocking before creaking open caught my attention, and my head turned to look in the direction of the noise. An instant smile spread across my lips as my eyes fell onto the triplets. Getting up to greet them.

“Hey, guys! How’d recording go?” I asked, my hands falling into my hoodie pocket while I walked over to them. Their grins are always a telltale sign of a good time.

“Pretty good, I’ve got to get to editing pretty soon, though.” Nick spoke, slipping his shoes off before walking up to me. “Thanks for watching the house, again. Can never be too safe, right?” He laughed breathily, nudging my shoulder with his hand.

A chuckle slipped from me at his comment, my cheeks turning a soft shade of pink at the contact of his hand. “Yeah, no problem. I’m always open to doing this.” I nodded my head slightly, my eyes instinctively tracing his addicting features.

The silence between us lingered for a moment, the sound of Matt and Chris talking merely background noise as I found myself getting lost in the depths of his blue eyes.

“Well, you should probably head home, now. It's late,” his voice broke the silence, cracking me from my trance.

“Oh, yeah. I'll head out now.” I nodded sheepishly, feeling foolish of letting myself get lost in my thoughts again. Finding it harder to contain my thoughts around Nick. “Goodnight Nick, tell Matt and Chris I said goodnight as well.” I dismissed myself, slipping on my shoes before I walked out of the front door.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

It was a late Saturday afternoon, finding myself hanging out with the triplets as the four of us sat in a restaurant. Sharing laughs and casual conversation with one another.

The lack of Nick's laugh soon fell upon my ears, my eyes dropping to him. The sight of him looking down at his phone, a giddy smile on his lips as he seemed uninterested in what me and the other two guys were discussing. My curiosity piquing.

“Hey, whatcha doing?” I asked him, trying to glance over at his screen as I had sat directly next to him. Catching a glimpse of a string of text messages before he turned his phone away.

“It's nothing, I'm just… talking to someone right now,” he said with a sheepish grin, his cheeks flushed as he spoke of the other person.

My heart dropped, my grin dissipating along with it.

“But, you can't tell Matt or Chris. Promise?” he said hurriedly, though in a hushed tone. His hand reached out to sit on my forearm, the blush on his cheeks slowly falling as he looked at me.

“Yeah— yeah, your secrets are safe with me.” I cleared my throat, offering him a forced grin. Not wishing for him to know just how much that simple statement affected me.

The sounds of our waiter grew nearer, the plate of steaming food being set in front of me. Though my appetite was long gone.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

I met him, I had finally met the guy Nick had been raving about for the past two months.

He was handsome, fit, and had a nice fashion sense. He made Nick happy, that was all that mattered. Right?

Envy and jealousy bubbled within me as I found myself unable to tear my eyes from them, sitting across the room from me at some party the triplets were invited to, me being their plus one. Chuckles and bright smiles being passed to each other.

I never made Nick smile or blush the way he does.

Is it me?

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

My world felt like it was crumbling around me. And I couldn't do anything about it.

I hadn't come out of my house in days. No, not after Nick and he had gotten together.

I'm supposed to be happy for him, really. But all I've found myself doing was wishing that instead of him. It was me.

That I was the one who held Nick. That I was the one who would kiss him, comfort him, love him, and be loved back.

Messages from the brothers and other friends stacked up in my phone, not finding the energy to care as I slept away my worries.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

And now, as I sat at his wedding. Watching as the vows were exchanged, I could only let my tears fall. A weak smile masked the thoughts that ran through my mind.

“If only I had won him over”

“That could've been me.”

“Is it me?”

“I love you, why cant you love me back?”

“Why not me?”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:

NOTE:

I’M sorry💔

I’M thinking of making this into a series. But, a few things will be changed. CONSIDER THIS A TEASER (??)

LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED

[harrisonarchive]

Clip from the 2017 documentary Rumble.

“Met George in England, too… and when he was in L.A. just before the Bangladesh concert. He was in Los Angeles recording a single. Remember the Bangla Desh single that came out? I said, ‘George, you know, I’ve got a new album [‘Ululu’] coming out pretty soon, I need one more really dynamite song to just make it come off right.’ He said, ‘Well, I’ll come over, and play you what I’ve got.’ So he came down to my house. And I have a cassette recording of George, George and I sitting on my couch playing old Beatles songs and laughing it up. And finally, he played the Sue Me, Sue You Blues for me, which is really an inside, kind of a personal song, you know. But it was the only thing that was really funky enough to be in my blues bag. […] George called me up and said, ‘Look, will you play [at the Concert for Bangladesh]?’ And of course I said yes, I just jumped at the chance. […] We were on such a buzz that day; I couldn’t believe it. It was really fantastic. I’ll never forget the feeling I got there.” - Jesse Ed Davis, KMET-FM, 1973 “’George Harrison was kind enough to lay ‘Sue Me Sue You Blues’ on me. He’s got a million songs.’ […] [Davis] explained that Bangla Desh showed him he had to get out of the recording studio and in front of live audiences.” - Press-Telegram, May 4, 1973

[les-pompiers118]

Isabel Díaz attends a wedding

Because we'd all like to know why she turned up there, out of the blue, and ABC isn't saying...

"So Chimney's feeling a bit better, now that the meds have kicked in, and he wants to get married right away," Eddie tells Christopher and his abuela as he tucks his phone back into his pocket. "Like, in an hour."

"In the hospital?" Chris asks. "Is that allowed?"

Eddie laughs. "I'd like to see anyone try to stop them now. Or Bobby. He told us he's always wanted to officiate a wedding as a fire captain. He's not about to miss his chance."

"Well, I guess we should be going then." Abuela holds out her hand to Eddie, so he can help her get up from the couch. "You don't want to be late for the wedding. Twice."

"Very funny," Eddie says. "We'll drop you off at Pepa's house, if that's what you want, but you know you're welcome to make yourself at home here. We won't be gone long. And they'll probably kick us out when visiting hours end, anyway."

"No, no, Eddito. I'd like to come with you to the hospital."

"You want to come to the wedding?"

"As long as your friends don't mind an uninvited guest." Abuela slips her arm through Eddie's and looks up at him with a dreamy smile. "I love weddings. I never turn down the chance to go to one. And at my age, I don't think anyone can begrudge me that."

"Definitely not. I'm sure they'll be happy to have you there." Eddie starts for the door, but stops after only two steps and pivots around. "Abuela, did you... plan your visit to L.A. for this particular weekend for any special reason? Say, a wedding?"

Abuela's eyes sparkle and Christopher muffles a giggle with his hand.

"Maybe I just missed my boys," Abuela says before giving Eddie a wink and dropping her voice to a stage whisper. "Or maybe I had a hunch that this wedding was going to be a special one."

"If by special, you mean cramming into a hospital room with no food or music, you'd be right."

"Oh, mijo, don't you think I know how things always seem to go for you and your friends? Never have I known a group of people with such topsy-turvy lives. Cruise ship sinks. Girlfriends move in, girlfriends move out. They should make a telenovela about you all."

Eddie huffs a grudging laugh. "I suppose we should be happy there wasn't an earthquake today, on top of everything else."

"It's not too late," Chris sings. "They're not married yet!"

"Okay, okay," Eddie groans, ushering them both towards the door. "Let's go, Díaz family."

Abuela claps her hands. "To the wedding!"

[all-the-things-2020]

Late Night Talking - Chapter Nineteen

Summary: Emily moves in, Dieter gets the flu … and Valentine’s Day Dieter Bravo style.

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 5600+

Tag list: @rhoorl @avastrasposts @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @gwendibleywrites @weho2kcmo

Things moved quickly once we got back to California. With the help of a moving company (and Oladele) I was soon out of my condo and living in Dieter’s house. I also bought a new car. Dieter had insisted I “just look” at the Audis and I fell in love with a little blue sedan. It was at the lower end of the range, but still expensive to me. Writing out a check for roughly $40,000 was a surreal experience. 

Dieter insisted the car needed a name and that it was a boy. “Auden? Austin? Augustus?,” he suggested.

”Augustus? What kind of name is that for a car?”

”Well, there aren’t that many names that start with A-U,” he said, furrowing his brow. He pulled out his phone. “Auggie? 

”That’s just short for Augustus,” I pointed out. “And we can’t call an Audi Austin because that’s another make of car.”

”Then it has to be Auden,” Dieter said. “He was a poet, wasn’t he? That’s good for a bookish person, right?”

And so Auden it was. 

**********************************************

Soon it was February and Sam’s birthday was coming up. We always called each other on our birthdays, setting aside an hour just for us. One year she’d even walked away from her own birthday party to sit outside on her porch in the cold so we could have our birthday chat.

”Why don’t you fly back there and surprise her?” Dieter suggested. “Call her from the sidewalk and when she answers, tell her to come outside.”

”I can’t just fly to Maryland on a whim,” I said. Dieter raised an eyebrow and I realized that I could do that. I could go online and book a flight and hotel and not have to worry about where the money was coming from. It felt decadent. It felt wrong. It felt amazing.

”Do it,” he urged. “Let me be the one sitting home alone for once.”

I flew to Maryland and did just what Dieter suggested: I stood outside of Sam’s house and called her. When she opened the front door and saw me, we both burst into tears. It had been years since we’d seen each other in person.

”Oh, my God, chickie!,” she sobbed. “This is the best birthday present ever!”

We spend the weekend on her couch, eating chips and ice cream, watching old movies and basically just being teenage girls; all the stuff we missed out on doing together when she’d moved away.

”So you’re getting married,” Sam said at one point. She took my hand and made a show of studying my ring from several angles. 

“It still doesn’t quite seem real,” I admitted. “I’ve barely moved in and honestly I still feel like I’m just on a break and I’ll have to go home and back to work.”

”Any wedding plans yet?” There was a glint in her eye that made me feel excited.

”Nothing firm. Why, do you have an idea?”

”Remember when we were little and we did that whole soap opera with our Barbies and Kens and my brother’s G.I. Joes? And your Barbie got married at the beach and then her husband got eaten by sharks?”

I hadn’t thought about that summer in years. We’d played out so many silly plot lines with our dolls and action figures. Every day we created a new episode. Of course, our soap opera leaned more heavily on car chases and jumping off cliffs and fighting wild tigers than romance, but we were only about eight years old at the time. 

“I’m not feeding Dieter to a shark,” I said.

Sam rolled her eyes. “Duh! I meant, how about a beach wedding? You live in L.A., you said you want a summer wedding so Dieter’s brother and his kids can come out … my kids will be off for the summer.”

”You’re just fishing for an invitation,” I teased. 

“Oh, I’m going to be there,” Sam said firmly. “I’m going to be your maid of honor.”

I felt tears welling in my eyes. I couldn’t afford to fly back east for Sam’s wedding, but she’d still asked me to be her maid of honor, only giving the job to one of her cousins after I’d had to decline. 

“I’d love to have you at the wedding,” I said. “It won’t be big or fancy. Dieter and I haven’t talked details yet but we both want something small and informal.”

”Which is perfect for a beach wedding,” Sam said. “I can totally see Dieter in a white suit, barefoot, open neck shirt, and you in a white sundress, the ocean breeze playing with your hair.”

“Or maybe Deet in board shorts and a PacSun t shirt.”

”You could wear a bikini and freak out your Aunt Helen!”

”Speedos!”

We collapsed into giggles. “I’ve missed you, chickie,” I said.

”I’ve missed you, too,” Sam said. “But just think, now you’ll be able to come visit whenever you want. And I’ll have a place to stay in California.” She winked.

**************************************************

That winter, I’d managed to avoid catching the flu, which was an occupational hazard of working in a public school. Dieter, unfortunately, was not as lucky, as I found when I called him from the airport when I landed.

“I’b fide,” he said over FaceTime, before turning away to blow his nose loudly.  He’d clearly been doing that a lot, because his nose was red and tender looking. 

“You are not fine,” I retorted. “I shouldn’t have gone.”

”I didin stard feeling sick undil after you lefd. Bud id’s nod dad bad.” He immediately sneezed and coughed at the same time.

”Go to bed,” I said. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

On the way home from LAX, I stopped at a Walgreens and stocked up on everything I thought Dieter might possibly need. When I finally got home. I let myself in and dropped my bags on the kitchen island. “Hey, sweetie, are you awake?” I called out.

I turned around when I heard a noise coming from the hallway. Dieter shuffled into the dining room, his ratty green bathrobe wrapped around a dirty t-shirt and pajama pants, with an assortment of used tissues falling out of the pockets. His hair was even more wild than usual, and looked greasy. His nose was red and raw, he clearly hadn’t shaved since I’d left home and his eyes were glassy.

“Hey,” he croaked, leaning against the wall.

“You look horrible,” I said.

“Thangs,” he grumped. “I feel lige shid.”

I walked over to him and laid my hand on his forehead. He felt hot and smelled gross. “Ugh, when was the last time you showered?” I asked. “Or changed your clothes.”

He shrugged. “Coupla days ago,” he mumbled.

I shook my head. “Disgusting.” I turned him around and pushed him back toward the bedroom. The bed looked as bad as he did. The covers were all shoved into a tangled pile in the center of the bed and there was an overflowing trash can surrounded by a scattered ring of tissues.

“Okay, we’re getting you and this room cleaned up,” I said. I plopped him down on the bed and opened the dresser to pull out a clean t-shirt and pair of pajama pants. I popped into the hall to grab some towels and a washcloth from the linen closet and then came back to find Dieter on his side, groaning into the pillow.

“Get up, babe,” I told him. “You need a shower.”

“Don’d wan’ a shower,” he grumbled. 

“Tough,” I said. “You stink. Come on, I’ll help you.”

I pulled him up and led him to the bathroom, where I turned on the water to warm up. I knew he really did feel horrible, because as I stripped off his clothes, he didn’t make any jokes or try anything cute. He seemed a bit wobbly, so I got undressed as well and we stepped into the shower together. 

“Lean against the wall if you feel dizzy or weak,” I told him. I adjusted the shower head so the water wasn’t hitting him in the face, and helped him step under the spray.

“Cold,” he complained. 

“It’ll warm up in a minute,” I said. “Come on, let’s get you clean.” I worked quickly, soaping up the washcloth and scrubbing his body thoroughly. “Bend down,” I told him when I was done, and I shampooed and rinsed his hair.

I helped him get out and wrapped him in towels. “Dry off and we’ll get you in clean jammies,” I said. He rolled his eyes at the word “jammies” but he did as he was told. I helped him into the clean shirt and flannel pants, put my clothes back on, and then led him out to the living room.

“I’m going to park you on the couch while I change the bed, okay?” I tucked some throw pillows behind his back and spread one of the throws that lived on the back of the couch over his lap. I put the remote in his hand and smoothed his wet hair back off his forehead so I could give him a kiss.

I stripped the bed and carried the dirty linens to the laundry room, then went back and remade the bed with clean sheets, blankets, pillowcases and the summer duvet that was tucked in the very back of the linen closet. When I was done, I threw the winter comforter into the washer and went back to check on Dieter.

He was staring dully at the TV, which was tuned to a cooking program, something he normally didn’t watch. “You want to stay out here, or go back to bed?” I asked. He turned slowly to me and blinked twice.

“Bed,” he said after a moment.

I walked him back to the bedroom, tucked him in, piled pillows behind him so he was partially propped up and then went to fetch my supplies from Walgreens. I couldn’t remember what we had in the medicine chest so I had bought everything: a thermometer, assorted medications, tissues, cough drops … even a couple of cans of chicken soup and a box of saltine crackers.

First, I took his temperature. “One hundred point two,” I said. “Not too bad.” I dropped the Tylenol back into the bag. We wouldn’t be needing that unless his fever spiked higher. Then I asked him about his symptoms.

“Congestion … definitely,” I said. “Is your throat sore?”

“Kind of scratchy,” he admitted. 

“But not sore sore?”

“No.”

“How about coughing?”

We ran through every symptom I could think of and I lined up the medications and other supplies I’d need on the nightstand on his side of the bed. 

“Okay,” I said when I was done. “Did you eat dinner yet?”

He shook his head. “Not hungry.”

“You need to eat,” I said firmly. “I’m going to make you some soup.”

“I’m not hungry,” he whined.

“Tough,” I replied. “You’re going to eat.”

I heated up a can of chicken noodle soup and boiled some water for tea. By the time I brought it into the bedroom, Dieter was half asleep.

“Dinner time,” I said brightly.

He shook his head and flipped me off. “Told you I’m not hungry,” he grumped.

“I don’t care. At least drink the broth and the tea. I put in honey and lemon for your throat,” I said as I sat down beside him. “And if you won’t eat it yourself, I’ll feed you.”

I got him to eat half the soup and most of a cup of tea before I gave up. I made him take his medication and then went out to the kitchen. I dumped the leftovers and put the dishes in the sink to be washed later. I checked on the washer and since it still had over twenty minutes left, I reheated the rest of the soup for myself. By the time I’d finished eating and washed up the dirty dishes, it was time to load the comforter in the dryer.

I had an hour to kill before it was done, so I went back to check on Dieter. He was asleep, so I very quietly changed into my nightshirt and curled up on the couch to watch some TV while I waited for the dryer to finish. Two episodes of “The Big Bang Theory” later, I fetched the toasty warm comforter from the laundry room and headed to the bedroom.

I pulled the summer duvet off the bed and threw the warm comforter over Dieter. He woke up. “Whad you doin’?,” he mumbled.

I crawled under the covers. “Nice warm blankie,” I said, snuggling down. “Go back to sleep.”

He grunted and coughed, then reached for the box of tissues I’d left on his nightstand. He blew his nose loudly and slumped back onto the pillows with a groan. “You should sleep in the guest roob,” he said. “You’ll ged sick.”

I kicked him gently. “Like I haven’t already been around your germs all evening,” I replied. “Besides, this way I’m here if you need anything.”  I curled up, enjoying the warmth of the freshly laundered comforter. Despite Dieter’s coughs and sniffles, I fell asleep pretty quickly. It had been a long day.

***************************

I woke up at 3:00 am when Dieter had a coughing fit. “Sorry, sorry,” he said in between hacking coughs. “Shit.”

“It’s okay,” I said. I measured out a dose of cough syrup and fetched him a glass of ice water to wash it down with. “Take this.”  He made a face but swallowed the medicine. I didn’t blame him; that stuff tasted nasty. Cherry flavor my ass.

“Come here,” I said, after he’d drunk half the glass of water to get the taste out of his mouth. I opened a jar of Vicks VapoRub and pushed his t-shirt up. “This will help.” I started rubbing the greasy ointment in small circles over his chest. I suppressed the urge to sing “Soft Kitty,” knowing that Dieter would not understand. He’d watched “The Big Bang Theory” with me a few times but claimed he didn't get it.

Once I’d coated his chest, I pulled the shirt back down and started rubbing Vicks on his throat. “I know it smells horrible, but it works,” I said as he blinked from the pungent fumes. I chuckled. “Just be glad my friend Carla’s mom isn’t around. When I had sleepovers at her house when I was little, she rubbed Vicks on our feet and made us wear white socks to bed. Even if we weren’t sick.”

I put the lid back on the jar and smeared the leftover ointment on his stomach, just to be a jerk. He grumped at me and I pressed a kiss on his belly, just below where I’d rubbed the Vicks. 

“Not in the mood,” he grumbled. 

I pretended to pout. “You’re no fun,” I said. I put the jar of Vicks back on the nightstand, leaning across him to reach it. I knew that in that position, he could see right down my sleep shirt, and it was riding up at the bottom to show off my panties but he didn’t react at all.  “You really are sick,” I said, patting his cheek. “Go back to sleep.”

He just grunted and then coughed in my face. “Sorry,” he mumbled, as I crawled back over to my side of the bed. “I know this isn’t fun for you.”

“I’m not here to have fun,” I told him. “I’m here to take care of you. Now shut up and go back to sleep.”

**************************************************

The next day I spent most of my time running back and forth from the kitchen to the bedroom. He wanted coffee but then it made his stomach hurt. He wanted toast but then only ate half of it. I made him tea with honey but it got cold too fast, and when I heated it in the microwave it was too hot and burned his tongue. Every time he took a dose of medicine, he needed fresh ice water. 

For lunch, I suggested grilled cheese, my go-to meal when I was feeling sick as a kid. He took two bites. It was like taking care of a nearly six foot toddler. 

“You have to eat, sweetie,” I told him. “All that medicine on an empty stomach isn’t good for you.”

“I’m not fucking hungry,” he growled. “Just leave me alone, okay?”

“Fine, Mr. Grumpy Pants,” I said. I took the remains of his lunch out to the kitchen, cut off the part he’d bitten and finished the sandwich myself. I knew he didn’t feel well, but it was starting to wear on me. I pulled out my phone and texted Sam.

ME: Dieter is driving me crazy. Why are men such babies when they’re sick?

She replied quickly with a series of laughing emojis.

We commiserated about the tribulations of taking care of a man-child until I heard a pathetic voice calling my name from the bedroom. I took the phone with me as I went to see what he wanted.

“I’m hungry,” he said. “Can I have that sandwich now?”

I texted Sam as I went back out to the kitchen to make a fresh grilled cheese.

ME: Can I divorce someone I’m not married to yet?

Her only reply was another string of laughing emojis.

**************************************************

The next morning, Dieter still had a low grade fever and his cough was no better. “I think we need to go to urgent care,” I told him.

“I’m fine,” he whined. “I hate the doctor.”

“But I don’t think this cough syrup is strong enough,” I replied. “You might need the prescription stuff. Get dressed.”

He grumped and complained but changed into jeans and a clean t-shirt while I called the closest urgent care that took his insurance. They wouldn’t make an appointment but claimed the wait time was currently less than an hour. “Is your phone charged? We might have a bit of a wait,” I asked.

It took twenty minutes to find his phone, which had slipped down between the couch cushions at some point. The battery was at 45%, so I had to fetch the car charger from his car before we could leave. Fortunately, it took long enough to get to the urgent care that his phone was up to 70% by the time we were parked. I knew he’d get bored sitting in the waiting room if he didn’t have his phone to play with. It really is like taking care of a giant toddler, I thought. 

The waiting room was three quarters full and when we checked in, the receptionist told me in a bored voice that it would probably be close to ninety minutes before we could see a doctor. “We had a couple of soccer injuries come in and they got jumped to the head of the line,” she explained. “Fill out the forms and have a seat.”

*****************************************

“Mr. Bravo?,” a nurse finally called out. I nudged Dieter, who had started to doze off.

“What?”

“It’s your turn. Come on,” I said.

We followed the nurse into the back. She kept giving him curious looks as she sat him down at her station to start taking his vitals. “I’m sorry,” she said after a minute. “It’s just …”

“It’s okay,” I said. “He’s used to being stared at.”

Dieter started to say something smart but veered into another coughing fit.

The nurse nodded and patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t try to talk.” She handed him some tissues and went back to laying out her instruments. She took his temperature, blood pressure and checked his blood oxygen levels.

“Slight fever, and the coughing has the blood pressure up a bit, but ox levels are good,” the nurse said as she jotted things down on a form. “Okay, let’s put you in a room and the doctor will be with you soon.”

She led us into an examination room. Dieter slumped on the exam table, the paper crinkling and crunching underneath him. I settled in an uncomfortable chair and we waited. And waited.

“This is ridiculous,” Dieter said after we’d been in the exam room for nearly twenty minutes. “We’re wasting our time.”

“No we’re not,” I said.  “Just be patient.” I chuckled. “Get it, you’re a patient … so you need to be patient.”

He just shook his head and flipped me off. So much for making him laugh. 

The doctor finally came in, a flustered looking young Indian woman. “So sorry for the wait,” she said. “I’m Dr. Pradesh. We’re short staffed today because of this flu.” She looked at the file in her hand. “Which you appear to have, Mr. Bravo.” She smiled apologetically.

She quickly examined Dieter, looking in his ears, up his nose, and listening to his heart and lungs. “Okay,” she said when she was done. “Lungs are definitely congested but I don’t hear anything too concerning.” She pulled out a prescription pad. “I’m going to get you some cough syrup with codeine, which should help. It’s stronger than the over the counter stuff you’ve been taking. And an inhaler to open up the bronchial passages.” She turned to me.

“I take it you’re looking after him,” she said. I nodded. “Rest, lots of fluids, make sure he takes his meds,” she said, ticking each item off on her fingers. “This virus usually runs its course in about two weeks, but the first week is the worst. He should start feeling better in a few days.”

She handed me the prescription form and smiled at Dieter. “I hope you feel better, Mr. Bravo,” she said. “If your symptoms get worse, call us or your primary doctor.” She shook his hand, then mine, and was gone.

The nurse popped in a moment later with some paperwork in her hand. “Okay, you’re ready to go.” She hesitated a moment. “Um, I know you aren’t feeling well, but … do you think I could get an autograph?”

Dieter sighed, but smiled and took the pen she shyly offered. He scribbled his signature on a scrap of paper and we were on our way.

“Sorry,” I said as we buckled ourselves into the car. 

“For what?”

“You feel like crap and still got accosted by a fan,” I said.

He shrugged. “She was very polite about it. I wouldn’t call it being accosted.”

“Still,” I said, as I backed the car out of the parking space. “I know it’s annoying.”

“Not your fault,” he said, before starting to cough violently again. 

We stopped at CVS on the way home. “You can wait in the car if you don’t feel like going in,” I told him and after a moment he nodded.

“If you don’t mind,” he said. He looked exhausted. I kissed him on the forehead and held out my hand for his wallet.

Fortunately the pharmacy had no line and I got his prescriptions after a short wait. Still, Dieter was asleep by the time I got back to the car. He was slumped in the passenger seat, his mouth hanging slightly open. I felt a sudden surge of love for him. Despite the way he’d been driving me crazy, I knew it was the virus that made him so grumpy and needy. All I wanted was for him to feel better.

I got into the car as quietly as I could, but he still woke up. “I’m awake,” he mumbled as he sat up straighter. 

“You’re fine, babe,” I told him, placing the pharmacy bag on his lap. “Now let’s get you home.”

*****************************

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay in the guest room?” Dieter asked after I’d gotten him home, back in pajamas, into bed, fed, and medicated.

“Why? Are you sick of me already? Get it? Sick.” I asked. I hopped onto the bed next to him.

“Fuck off,” he said, shaking his head.

“I’m not going anywhere” I told him. “Got to take care of you, sweetie.” I kissed him on the cheek. 

“You don’t have to do that,” he said. “I’ll be fine. I’m not a kid,” he grumped, but I could see a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He liked the idea of me taking care of him.

“You’re acting like one,” I retorted. “Everyone does, when they’re sick. And what does a sick kid want most? To be taken care of.” I slid my arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. “Which is exactly what I’m going to do.”

“I love you,” he mumbled into my hair.

“I love you, too,” I replied. “But please don’t get snot in my hair.”

He started laughing, which turned into another coughing fit. I patted his back and handed him a cough drop from my pocket. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said when he stopped coughing. “Thanks for taking such good care of me.”

“It’s my job,” I said. He raised an eyebrow at me. “It’s in the fiancé job description. Section fourteen, paragraph five. ‘Take care of him when he’s sick, even if he acts like a giant baby.’”

“Very funny,” he said. “Now, what does it say in that job description about doing my laundry?”

I sighed. It was going to be a long week. 

**************************************************

“How the hell is it already February 18th?” Dieter was feeling better and was catching up on emails. 

“Well, first it was February 1st, and then days went by …”

He gave me the stink-eye. “Ha ha, very funny,” he said. “I missed Valentine’s Day. I had stuff planned and everything.”

“It’s no big deal,” I told him. “Valentine’s Day is a very overrated holiday, anyway. To be honest, it was nice not to be surrounded by teenagers carrying around balloons and stuffed animals and all that stupid shit.”

“But it was our first Valentine’s Day together, and I missed it,” Dieter said. “That doesn’t bode well.” He frowned. 

“I don’t need chocolates or flowers or any of that stuff,” I reassured him. “I’m just glad you’re feeling better. And we can do something special next year, if you want.” I was going through my own emails, which included several from Oladele offering suggestions for wedding venues. Without me even realizing it, she had been hired as my personal assistant and I already didn’t know what I would do without her. “Hey, speaking of flowers, do you think we need some for the wedding?” Oladele had gotten some quotes from florists.

“What? That’s months away,” Dieter said.

”June is only four months away and it’ll be here before we know it,” I replied. “We really need to sit down and go over things. Like where, when, and who’s invited. And flowers, food, cake …” I sighed. “Even for a low key wedding, there’s a lot to think about.”

Dieter waved his hand in the air. “Get some roses, a cake with white frosting, a few bottles of champagne and sparkling cider … boom! A wedding.”

”You’re no help.”

”My head’s still full of mucus and shit,” he said. “Give me a couple of days and then we’ll sit down and go over stuff.” I could tell he was getting tired and grumpy and I cut him some slack. I knew from experience that the flu took a lot out of you.

**************************************************

Two days later, I went grocery shopping. Dieter’s appetite had come back and we were completely out of snacks. When I got home, I opened the front door to the scent of roses. “What the hell? Dieter, can I get some help with the groceries?”

There was no reply and I stepped further in. There were bouquets of roses all over the living room, dozens and dozens of roses: red, white, pink, and silver, in glass vases tied with ribbons. A large heart shaped box of chocolates was in the center of the coffee table, next to a teddy bear holding a red velvet heart that read “I ❤️U.”

”Dieter!” I yelled. “Where are you and why did a drug store Valentine’s aisle throw up in our living room?”

He appeared in the doorway, wearing a red satin robe over black silk pajamas. “I told you I had plans,” he said, batting his eyelashes at me.

”Well, can we get the groceries in and put away first?”

He sighed and stumbled off to find his Crocs. “You have no sense of romance,” he grumped.

Once we’d fetched the food and put everything away, I let Dieter lead me back to the living room. “Have a seat, my sweet,” he said, with a deep bow. He pulled a fancy box from underneath the couch and placed it in my lap. I untied the red velvet ribbon and opened the box to reveal a lacy black silk nightgown and red satin robe that matched his. “You go change into that,” he said, “and I’ll get the rest of your surprise ready.”

I normally preferred cotton night clothes but the feel of the silk and satin against my skin was sensual. Not exactly something I’d want to wear all night, but it definitely set the stage for sexy times. So I was truly surprised when I went back into the living room and found Dieter with his glasses on and a notebook in his hand.

”What’s going on?”

”I am about to do the most romantic thing any man has ever done,” he said dramatically. He picked up the remote. “I’m going to turn off the television and give you my undivided attention and we are going to plan our wedding.” He nodded toward the coffee table, where both of our iPads were turned on and nestled amongst a selection of brochures. “Oladele sent me all her stuff.”

I sank onto the couch. “You never cease to amaze me, Dieter Fucking Bravo.” 

“We’ll get to that part later,” he said with a wink. “Right now, let’s plan a wedding.”

Two hours — and a bag of chips and several of the chocolates from the fancy box — later, we had a rough plan. A secular ceremony on the beach, small reception with finger foods and cake, not too many flowers (because of the wind off the ocean). Freddy would be his best man and Sam would be my maid of honor. We even narrowed it down to three venues: a public beach that had an area that could be reserved for private functions, a private beach that could be rented for a hefty fee but included catering, and the backyard of a producer friend of Dieter’s, which backed onto a private beach.

”Okay, so guest list,” I said, scanning the checklist that Oladele had sent us. “Freddy, Leila and the kids, that’s four. And Sam, her husband and kids, that’s another five, so we’re up to nine.”

”Dominic and his family,” Dieter said. “That brings us to thirteen. Oh, and Oladele. That’s fourteen.”

”Carmen,” I said. “That’s fifteen.”

Dieter named a few other people from “the business” which brought our total up to twenty three. “How about your family? Just your aunt and uncle or do we have to invite all the cousins, too?”

”Just Aunt Helen and Uncle Jeremiah,” I said. “We’ll put them up at a fancy hotel, just to make her squirm a little.” I laughed. “Actually, I think she’ll enjoy it. I don’t think they’ve had a real vacation, just the two of them, in forever.”

Dieter nodded. “That’s twenty five. That’s a good number, unless you want to invite anyone from your old job?”

”Don’t forget your dad,” I added. “That makes twenty six.” Dieter made a face. “Look, I know you aren’t on the best of terms with him but there is no way he’s not coming to our wedding. Between the two of us we only have one parent living, and he has to be there.”

Dieter pursed his lips. “It’ll be twenty seven if he comes,” he said tersely, “because he’ll bring her.”

”Her?”

”His wife.”

“I didn’t know you had a stepmother.”

”She’s not my stepmother,” Dieter said fiercely. “She’s his wife.”

”Sorry. Is she that bad?”

He shook his head and sighed. “No, actually, she’s pretty great. Just a normal, nice lady who loves him and …” He closed his eyes. “Freddy’s kids call her Grandma. Which is fine. It’s just …”

”I get it,” I said, taking his hand in mine. I never stopped being amazed at how big his hands were. Dieter was a big man, strong — and very fragile. “I wish your mom could be there. My parents, too. They would have loved you.”

He lifted my hand to his lips. “I wish I could have met them. And my mom — I know she was problematic. I know she was selfish and Dad was better off after she left but damn it, I loved her so much.”

I let him cry against my shoulder. “I know. I know. She was your mom.” I rubbed his back and waited until he was able to compose himself. He sat back, his eyes red and his nose streaming snot. I handed him a tissue from the box that was still on the coffee table from his cold.

He blew his nose and wiped his face. “Probably not the best time to try to seduce you, huh?” His smile was tentative, but it was genuine.

”Actually, I kind of like the blotchy-faced, snot-nosed look,” I said. I shoved his notebook away and straddled his lap. With only two thin layers of silk between us, I could feel every inch of his body beneath me.

”Good, ‘cause it’s my signature look,” he said, his hands sliding down to grip my hips.

And that was the end of wedding planning for the time being. After all, June was months and months away.

[matttgirlies]

Matt & Me🎀

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

a story heavily based on Priscilla Presley’s Book “Elvis & Me” based in the 1950’s - 1970’s.

fem! reader x singer! matt

disclaimer!! - in no way am i saying matt would ever support or do these kind of things, for the sake of the book certain unethical things do happen at times.

warnings - mentions of guns,, drug use,, threats,, mentions of affairs

y/nn = your nickname for any confusion🩷

Chapter 21

Putting together the best musicians, sound and lighting technicians, costumers, and choreographers, he was taking no chances this time. He scoured the music scene for the top sidemen in the business. Auditions were held and he handpicked each player—names such as James Burton, John Wilkinson, Ronny Tutt, Glen D. Hardin, Jerry Scheff. He loved the sound of the Sweet Inspirations, backup group for Aretha Franklin, and he hired them on the spot as a warmup act and to sing backup vocals. He also hired his favorite gospel group, the Imperial Quartet.

Before leaving Los Angeles, Matt rehearsed at RCA Sound Studios for ten days and then polished the act for a full week prior to the opening. It was the event of the summer in Vegas. Colonel Parker brought the preopening publicity to fever pitch. Billboards were up all over town. On the third floor of the International, administrative offices bustled with activity. No other entertainer coming into Vegas had ever stimulated this kind of excitement. The hotel lobby was dominated by Matt paraphernalia—pictures, posters, T-shirts, stuffed animals, balloons, records, souvenir programs. You’d think Barnum and Bailey were coming to town.

Back home there was also excitement as we girls discussed what we’d wear to the opening. “I want you to look extra special, Baby,” Matt said. “This is a big night for all of us.” I hit every boutique in West L.A. before finding just the right outfit.

Though it had been nine years since Matt had given a live performance, you never would have known it from his opening. The audience cheered the moment he stepped onstage and never stopped the entire two hours as Matt sang, “All Shook Up,” “Blue Suede Shoes,” “In the Ghetto,” “Tiger Man,” and “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” He mixed the old with the new, the fast and hot with the lyrical and romantic. It was the first time I’d ever seen Matt perform live. Wanting to surprise me, he had kept me from rehearsals. I was astounded. At the end he left them still cheering and begging for more.

Cary Grant was among the stars who came backstage to congratulate him after the show. But the most touching moment was when Colonel William arrived with tears in his eyes, wanting to know where his boy was. Matt came out of the dressing room and the two men embraced. I believe everyone felt their emotion in that moment of triumph.

I don’t think we slept that night. Nate Doe brought in all the newspapers and we read the rave reviews declaring, “Matt was great” and “He never looked or sang better.” He shared credit for his new success with all of us.

“Well, we did it. It’s going to be a long thirty days, but it’s going to be worth it if we get the reception we got last night. I may have been a real tyrant, but it was well worth it.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” we all agreed, laughing. “You were a tyrant.”

The International Hotel was delirious over Matt’s performance and the box-office receipts. The following day they signed a fiveyear contract with the Colonel for Matt to appear twice a year, usually around the same time, January and August, at the then unheardof salary of one million dollars a year.

Matt literally took over Las Vegas for the entire month he was there, playing to a packed house every show as thousands more were turned away. No matter where we looked, all we could see was the name Matt—on television, newspapers, banners, and billboards. The King had returned.

Initially, Matt’s triumph in Las Vegas brought a new vitality to our marriage. He seemed a different person. Once again, he felt confident about himself as a performer and he continued to watch his weight and work out every day at karate.

It was also the first time that I felt we were functioning as a team. I made several trips to New York, trying to find unique accessories for him to wear onstage. I bought scarves, jewelry, and a black leather belt with chain links all around it that Bill Belew would later copy for the famous Matt jumpsuit belts.

I loved seeing him healthy and happy again, and I especially enjoyed our early days in Vegas. The International provided an elegant three-bedroom suite that we turned into our home away from home. During his show I always sat at the same table down front, never tiring of watching him perform. He was spontaneous and one never knew what to expect from him.

On occasion, after his midnight show, we’d catch lounge acts of other performers playing Vegas or we’d gamble until dawn. Other times we’d relax backstage, visiting with entertainers captivated by his performance. This was the first time I’d been with Matt at a high point in his career.

With the renewed fame came renewed dangers. Offstage he could be guarded by Sonny and Red. Onstage he was a walking target. One night that summer Nate and Sonny were tipped off that a woman in the audience was carrying a gun and had threatened to shoot Matt. A true professional, Matt insisted on going on. Additional precautions were taken and everyone was on the alert. Matt was instructed to stay downstage, making himself a smaller target, and Sonny and Jerry were poised to jump in front of him at the slightest sign of suspicious movement in the audience. Red was positioned in the audience with the FBI agents.

The show seemed to take an eternity. I glanced at Patsy apprehensively and she in turn grasped my hand as we comforted each other, longing for the night to end without incident. James remained backstage, never letting Matt out of his sight and praying, “Dear God, don’t let anything happen to my son.”

Because of this and other threats, extra security was arranged wherever Matt appeared. Entrances through backstages, kitchens, back elevators, and side exits became routine.

Matt had his own theory about assassinations, based on the murders of the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert F. Kennedy. He felt that the assassins gloated over their “accomplishments,” and told his bodyguards that if any attempt were made on his life, they should get the killer—even before the police. He didn’t want anyone bragging to the media that they’d killed Matt Sturniolo.

Sonny and Red lived in so much tension these days that they were constantly frenzied. Suspicious in crowds of overzealous fans, they were quick to respond to any sign of danger. Compared to Sonny’s diplomacy, Red’s reputation was to act first and ask questions later. Eventually, numerous assault-and-battery charges started piling up against Matt. When James warned him about Sonny and Red’s aggressiveness, Matt said, “Goddamn, Red. I hired you to keep the sons of bitches away from me, not get me in any legal binds. Somehow you’re going to have to control that redheaded temper of yours.”

Although Matt would joke about the death threats—and there would be several more throughout the Vegas commitments—the fear and constant need for security heightened the pressure of nightly performing.

In the beginning when Matt began doing regular Vegas engagements, we girls visited frequently. We’d fly in over the weekend, sometimes bringing our children, spend three or four days, and then return home.

On the days we were apart I’d take hundreds of Polaroids and home movies of Charlotte. She was growing so rapidly I didn’t want him to miss out on her development. Daily he’d receive his “care packages,” as I’d refer to them, including tape recordings of me teaching Charlotte new words and Charlotte mimicking me. Each week, upon my arrival, I’d paste photos on the mirrors in his bedroom to remind him that he had a wife and child.

During his first couple of engagements he still seemed humbled by lingering doubts of whether the public was fully accepting him. At this point he had no interest in outside affairs or flirtations, his concentration on daily rehearsals and performances every evening excluding everything else.

Later he would become more cocky. The crowds’ admiration took him back to his triumphs in the early fifties and he found it hard to come down to earth after a month of nightly cheers. His name on the International’s huge marquee would be replaced by the next superstar. The offices on the third floor would be cleared out and incoming calls for reservations would stop.

Thriving on all the excitement, glamour, and hysteria, he found it difficult to go home and resume his role as father and husband. And for me the impossibility of replacing the crowd’s adoration became a real-life nightmare.

At home in Los Angeles, there was just the usual group around—strictly a family atmosphere. This abrupt change was too much for him and soon he developed the habit of lingering in Vegas for days, sometimes weeks, after a show. The boys were finding it increasingly difficult to resolve the conflict between working for Matt and maintaining a home life.

Crazed with inactivity and boredom, Matt became edgy and temperamental, a condition exacerbated by the Dexedrine he was again taking to control his weight.

Sometimes, to ease the transition home, Matt would insist we all pile into cars and head for Palm Springs. Since our marriage we had spent-many weekends there sunning and watching football games and late-night television, but after Charlotte was born, my needs changed. The Palm Springs heat was too much for her, the long drive boring, the idleness of resort life wearying. One weekend I suggested, “Matt, why don’t just you and the guys go down?”

From that time on, the guys developed their own lifestyle in our secluded desert home. Occasionally we wives would be invited to spend the weekend, but by and large, Matt now considered Palm Springs his private refuge.

He made it clear that this time away was good for him, giving him a chance to think, to hang out with the guys. In reality Matt was lost. He did not know what to do with himself after Vegas. He escaped in more powerful, unnecessary prescribed drugs to raise his spirits and ward off boredom.

After he had conquered Vegas, it was agreed that Matt should go back on the road. Colonel immediately began booking concert tours around the nation, starting with an impressive run of six sold-out shows in the Houston Astrodome, which earned over one million dollars in three nights.

The night I arrived in Texas to watch the performance, Amber, Judy, and I flew in on a private jet. I looked down on the Astrodome and found it hard to believe my eyes. The length of a football field—and already sold out. It made me nervous. I could imagine how Matt felt.

Matt too found the Astrodome overwhelming. “Goddamn,” he said when he first walked in. “They expect me to sell this son of a bitch out? It’s a goddamn ocean.”

However dwarfed he was by the giant facility, he electrified his audience. Houston was our first run-in with mass hysteria. The limousine was strategically parked by the stage door for Matt’s immediate getaway. Even so, screaming fans surrounded the car, frantically yelling out his name, presenting flowers, and trying to touch him.

If anything, Houston was an even greater victory than Vegas. The King of Rock and Roll was back on top. The strain of sustaining such a hype was just beginning and, for the moment, I could believe that everything would still be all right. I did not realize the extent to which Matt’s touring was going to separate us, that this in fact was the beginning of the end. After Houston Matt began crossing the country, making one-night stands, flying by day, trying to catch some sleep to maintain the high energy level demanded by his performances. From 1971 on, he toured more than any other artist—three weeks at a time with no days off and two shows on Saturdays and Sundays.

I missed him. We talked constantly of being together more, but he knew that if he let me join him, he couldn’t refuse the requests from regulars whose marriages were also feeling the strain of long separations. For a while a group of us would fly in from time to time, but this didn’t last long. Matt noticed that his employees were lax in discharging their duties to him when spouses were present, and he established a new policy: No wives on the road.

I didn’t really miss the one-night stands, a tedious routine at best: Jump off the plane, rush to the hotel, unpack as little as possible, since you had to check out the next day, go to the performance, then back to the hotel for a little rest before heading back to the airport. Everything was the same except for the name of the town.

It was the day Matt suggested I come to Vegas less often that I became really upset and suspicious. He’d decided that we wives would attend opening and closing nights only.

I knew then I’d have to fight for our relationship or accept the fact that we were now gradually going to grow apart as so many couples in show business do. As a couple, we’d never sat down to plan out a future. Matt, individually, was stretching as an artist, but as man and wife we needed a common reality.

The chances of our marriage surviving were slim indeed as long as he continued to live apart from Charlotte and me, and in bachelor quarters at that. It came down to how much longer I could stand the separation. Matt wanted to have his cake and eat it too. And now, as the tours and long engagements took him even further from his family, I realized that we might never reach my dreams of togetherness.

I had trouble believing that Matt was always faithful, and the more he kept us apart, the more my suspicions grew.

Now when we went to Vegas, I felt more comfortable at the openings. He was always preoccupied with the show and I felt he needed me then. On closing nights I always felt uneasy. Too many days had gone by, enough time for suspicions to poison my thoughts. The Vegas maître d’s invariably planted a bevy of beauties in the front rows for the entertainer to play to. Curious, I would scan their faces while watching Matt closely to see if he seemed to direct his songs to any girl in particular. Suspicious of everyone, my heart ached—but we were never able to talk about it. It was to be accepted as part of the job.

Backstage one night James was jokingly negotiating for a key that had been tossed to Matt. She was an attractive middle-aged blonde—James’s type. Matt said, “Dad, you’ve got enough problems at home with one blonde. You certainly don’t need two.”

“Well, okay,” James said. “You’re going to have problems of your own if your wife goes out in the street looking like that.” I had begun wearing skimpy knit dresses and see-through fabrics that were daringly revealing. Steven and Charlie whistled and gave wolfcalls, while Matt proudly showed me off.

The jokes I played on him were also efforts to get his attention. One night, after he’d left early for a show, I put on a black dress with a black hood and an exceptionally low-cut back. When it came time for Matt to give away kisses to the girls in the audience—a regular part of his show—I went up to the stage. Instead of kissing me, he kept on singing his song, leaving me to stand there. With my hair hiding the dress strap around my neck, I appeared from the back to be nude from the waist up. I could hear the “oooh”s and “ahhhh”s of the audience. They were under the impression that a topless girl had cornered Matt and that he couldn’t figure out what to do.

I kept whispering to him, “Kiss me, kiss me, so I can sit down,” but he decided to turn the joke on me, and made me wait in the spotlight for the duration of the song. Planting a big kiss on my lips, he surprisingly introduced me to the audience. I felt a bit embarrassed and made my way back to my seat.

Later in the show he’d strut back and forth onstage, tease his audience, talk to them, tell them stories, even confide in them. “You know,” he’d say, “some people in this town get a little greedy. I know you folks save a long time to come and hear me sing. I just want you to know, as far as I’m concerned, there won’t be any exorbitant raise in price when you come back. I’m here to entertain you and that’s all I care about.”

Matt was having an ongoing love affair with his audience and the next time I was home alone I knew I had no choice but to start more of a life of my own.

It was with that thought in mind that Amber, my sister Michelle, and I planned a short trip to Palm Springs. In the course of the weekend I opened the mailbox to check the mail and found a number of letters from girls who had obviously been to the house, one in particular signed “Lizard Tongue.” My immediate response was disbelief, followed by outrage. I dialed Vegas and demanded that Nate find Matt and bring him to the telephone. When Nate said Matt was sleeping, I told him about the letters and insisted I speak to Matt. Nate promised that he would have Matt call as soon as he woke up. He did, but it was clear that Nate had filled him in on the situation and Matt had his explanation ready. He was totally innocent, the girls were just fans, they were out of their minds if they said they’d ever come to the house, and besides, it was their word against his. As usual, in the end I apologized for putting him on the spot, but things at this point were becoming too obvious.

He said, “Get out and do things while I’m gone, because if you don’t, you’re going to start getting depressed.”

Although my choices were limited—he still objected to my taking a job or enrolling in classes at college—I continued my dancing and started taking private art instruction.

Matt was a born entertainer and although he tried to avoid crowds, disliked restaurants, and complained he “couldn’t get out like a normal person,” this life-style suited him. He handpicked the people he wanted to be around him—to work with and travel withand they adjusted to his routine and his hours and his temperament. It was a pretty close clan throughout the years. A few arguments erupted and a few couples left over some misunderstandings, but they usually returned in a week or two.

My view of life had been fashioned by Matt. I had entered his world as a young girl and he had provided absolute security. He distrusted any outside influences, which he saw as a threat to the relationship, fearing they would destroy his creation, his ideal. He could never have foreseen what was happening as the consequence of his prolonged absences from home. A major period in my growth was beginning. I still feared our separations but felt that our love had no boundaries, that I was his and if he wanted me to change, I would. For years nothing had existed in my world but him, and now that he was gone for long stretches of time, the inevitable happened. I was creating a life of my own, starting to achieve a sense of security in myself, and discovering there was a whole world outside our marriage.

Over the years of playing Vegas, other pressures began to mount. There were more death threats and lawsuits, including alleged paternity suits and assault-and-battery charges. Jealous husbands claimed they’d seen Matt flirting with their wives, and others continued to charge that Sonny and Red were manhandling them. Matt began to get bored with these nuisances as well as with the sameness of the show. Inevitably, he tried to change the format, but then he felt it just didn’t have the same pacing as the original. He’d add a few songs here and there but then revert to the original. Pointed suggestions that he make changes before the next Vegas date added to the pressure.

Bored and restless, he increased his dependence on chemicals. He thought speed helped him escape from destructive thinking, when in reality it gave him false confidence and unnatural aggressiveness. He started losing perspective on himself and others. To me he became increasingly unreachable.

Excerpt from: "Elvis and Me" by Priscilla Beaulieu Presley. Scribd. This material may be protected by copyright.

a/n - welll..🎀

[weewoodiaz]

living through winter and apathy

buddie, 8x08 coda, 537 words. ao3

He sits through the call with the realtor, nodding encouragingly over Eddie's shoulder and asking questions here and there— is that closet a walk-in? is the guest bathroom on the first floor wide enough to accommodate a walker? is that a pool he spies in the backyard?— the last with a grin at Eddie through the camera, which he catches and returns. He internalizes the checklist of facts about each house: HOAs, distance to school, distance to downtown, distance to Fort Bliss. Distance to the airport. At some point his gaze goes beyond the iPad screen and out the front window. He watches a bird flit through the branches of the bush off the porch, alighting on each one for only a second before moving on. He feels weightless, untethered. Feels the pressure and release of leaving, of being left. 

After, he helps Eddie put the basket of baked goods away, hands hovering over the scones he juggled as he let himself in. Wonders idly how many times more his key will turn in the lock, and forcefully stops wondering. They order takeout, turn on a movie. Eddie thanks him earnestly for helping, for noticing the half step on the side of one house, wringing his knuckles white on his left knee where he thinks Buck can't see. Buck waves him off languidly, of course, don't worry about it man. His hand rests open on his leg, easily around the neck of his beer, loose around the door handle as he lets himself out an hour later. 

He drives aimlessly. He sits at each yellow light, follows one car and then the next until he's on I-10, and then he follows it until he hits the ocean and has to turn north. He pulls into a lot at some point— far enough up the coast that everything is residential, houses he's pretty sure no one lives in anyway. Walks down to the beach, heedless of the sand making its way into his shoes. He can't pinpoint the last time he went to the beach, which will always feel faintly ridiculous as a kid who grew up a day's drive from it, no matter where he lived after that. When he first moved to LA he marveled at the closeness of the ocean, just as he had in Virginia Beach, in Peru. Somewhere along the 7 years since he'd taken its nearness for granted. 

This late, there's not much of a distinction between the water and sky, blue-blackness stretching out farther than his eyes can trace. He stares into it until his vision goes fuzzy anyway. It's cold, at least for L.A., but the breeze knifes through his clothes and glances off him again. He thinks of another time, of the cold shock of water and sodden clothes pulling him down. He thinks of Maddie. Forcefully stops thinking. Thinks of a tiny face and plastic glasses looped around his neck and a grin like the sun, and the pull to that face 800 miles away, older now and with that grin tucked away. Knows he would go too, and wrenches himself in half with that knowing. He turns from the water and trudges back to his car.

[cantsayidont]

Some recent movies of little note:

DAY SHIFT (2022): Wearyingly bad action comedy about a down-on-his-luck L.A. pool cleaner, Bud Jablonski (Jamie Foxx), who's secretly a vampire hunter. Feels like a 10- or 15-year-old spec script that somehow got dusted off for a fading star who used to be a big shot, full of tired cliches, unfunny shtick, and wink-and-nudge references to Foxx's earlier film roles (which would be annoying even if this weren't one of his worst performances since the '90s). The action is slightly less exciting than watching someone else play RESIDENT EVIL, and when you see a movie use CGI blood for vampire tears, you know you're scraping the bottom of the barrel. CONTAINS LESBIANS? No, and it doesn't much like women in general. VERDICT: Strictly from hunger. If you're in the mood for this kind of thing, try ABIGAIL, which is almost as dumb, but not nearly as stale.

JEJÍ TĚLO (HER BODY) (2023): Uninspired dramatization of the life of former Czech Olympian Andrea Absolonová (Natália Germáni), a high-diving champion who was forced to retire in 1999 after a spinal injury and built a brief but successful second career as a porn star. It's an unusual story weakly executed, marred by Germáni's frosty, distant performance and the script's strange reluctance to get into Absolonová's head or examine what she got out of being in porn (which the film suggests she sought out fairly deliberately). The film could have drawn some specific connections between her athletic career and her later work as an adult model and actress, but it mostly doesn't bother, and the only point in which it seems to take any interest is her strained relationship with her parents and younger sister, which is presented in such a detached way that its emotional impact is nil. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Only some very brief performative bits from her films. VERDICT: Won't tell you anything about Absolonová that you couldn't get from her Wikipedia entry.

OMNI LOOP (2024): Teeth-gnashingly awful sci-fi parable about a dying physics professor, Zoya Lowe (Mary-Louise Parker), who's spent most of her life in a series of time loops, using a bottle of mysterious pills that let her reset her time to five days in the past. With only five days left to live, she enlists a young lab worker named Paula Campos (Ayo Edebiri) to help her figure out how the pills work so she can travel further back in time and fix her own life, no matter how many resets it takes. Parker is unendurably grating (in about the same manner as Rashida Jones in the terrible A24 streaming show SUNNY), the premise is cumbersomely handled (with part of the plot hinging on a jarring contrivance — the "nanoscopic man" — that has nothing to do with the time travel conceit), and the story ultimately collapses into intensely reactionary greeting card sentimentality whose thesis is that women are incapable of intellectual accomplishment without cheating and should instead accept their Womanly Duty™ to Home and Family™. Edebiri tries hard, but the story never stops treating Paula as an accessory. The conceptually similar THE EDGE OF TOMORROW at least has Emily Blunt's biceps to console you through its weaker moments. CONTAINS LESBIANS? No. VERDICT: The kind of sci-fi story that makes a compelling case for sending all sci-fi (and fantasy) writers to the gulag, beginning with writer-director Bernardo Britto.

SUBSERVIENCE (2024): If you walked away from M3GAN (2022) thinking it would've been the perfect movie if only someone had fucked the robot, this dreary new sci-fi/horror thriller has got you covered: In the near future, blue-collar husband Nick (Michele Morrone) buys a sexy domestic robot (Megan Fox) to keep house while his sick, possibly dying wife (Madeline Zima) is in the hospital; inevitably, Nick fucks the robot, who soon reveals herself as a homicidal menace. Here and there, there's a hint that the script could've done something at least momentarily interesting with this premise, but all you get is a predictable mashup of FATAL ATTRACTION and THE TERMINATOR. CONTAINS LESBIANS? If only. VERDICT: Even diehard Megan Fox fans can do better elsewhere.

WYNONNA EARP: VENGEANCE (2024): Unnecessary, somewhat lazy feature-format revival of the 2016–2021 TV show, returning the titular descendant of Wyatt Earp (Melanie Scrofano), her magical demon-slaying revolver, her two-centuries-old boyfriend Doc Holliday (Tim Rozon), her younger sister Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley, now with fetching short hair and more tattoos than I recall their having before), and Waverly's wife Nicole Haught (Katherine Barrell) to fight one more demon who has ties to Wynonna's unhappy past. Produced for Tubi, the movie has more profanity than the episodic series, but neither the plot nor the characters will make much sense if you're not already a fan. Even if you are, VENGEANCE feels pretty pointless, as the series finale already gave the characters a reasonably satisfactory sendoff, and this reunion makes a weak case for a relaunch. CONTAINS LESBIANS: Indeed, although Waverly now describes herself as pansexual. VERDICT: Inessential even for fans, although if you've nothing else to watch, you could do worse.

[ms-moonlight-inn]

WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY - FIRSTS!

Thank you, @mybrainismelted & @energievie & @jrooc & @transmurderbug & @blue-disco-lights & @francesrose3 the tag on this one. Y'all are so sweet. 💕

—

Name: Angst-ridden Scumbag

Age: 40s

First Pet? Officially, my first pets were always parakeets. I remember buying them from the Sears basement (!) somewhere in downtown L.A. & my mom made sure they were two different colors so my sister didn't fight over which one was ours.

First Word? 😳 I have no idea. Probably "Mamá"

First Celebrity Crush? (Super embarrassing) Christopher Reeves as Superman. Don't laugh! But that's the first dream I ever remember having of being rescued by a superhero. 🫠

First IRL Crush? Rubén, in kindergarten. He never looked twice at me. 😶‍🌫️

First kiss? Jeremy, who lived in my apartment building. We went into the laundry room & he was totally freaked out about the whole thing. 😅 I was in... 3rd (?) grade.

First Car? 1982 Buick Skylark in rusted baby blue

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents? My favorite apartment! A studio in a small building that was less than 1/2 a mile from the shoreline.

First time on a plane? Flight to Mexico when I was 11, we went to go see some distant relatives.

First cellphone? Nokia flip phone

First concert? It was actually a mariachi festival at the Rose Bowl, I know, super nerdy.

First Foreign country you visited? Does Mexico count? Otherwise, Canada.

First sport you ever played? Lol. Nope.

First career aspiration? Psychiatrist

And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think “wow”

When I was in high school, I wrote a short story about a guy who rips his own heart out & feeds it to his dog after his beloved girlfriend dies.

—

Tagging @stillbeatingheart & @notherenewjersey & @gallavichgeek with no pressure to play.

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

Stone Temple Pilots - Plush

[jonpertwee]

My present life is Kendrick Lamar

A rapper looking at the lyrics to keep you in awe

The only factor I respected was raisin' the bar

My instincts sent material straight to the charts, huh

My father kicked me out the house, I finally forgive him

I'm old enough to understand the way I was livin'

Ego and pride had me looking at him with resentment

I close my eyes, hoping that I don't come off contentious

I'm yelling, "Father, did I finally get it right?"

Everything I did was selfless

I spoke freely, when the people needed me, I helped them

I didn't gloat, even told 'em "no" when the vultures came

Took control of my fleshly body when the money changed

Son, you do well, but your heart is closed. I can tell residue that linger from your past creates a cell.

Father, I'm not perfect, I got urges, but I hold them down

But your pride has to die

Okay, Father, show me how

Tell me every deed that you done and what you do it for

I kept one hundred institutions paid

Okay, tell me more

I put one hundred hoods on one stage

Okay, tell me more

I'm tryna push peace in L.A. 

But you love war

No, I don't

Oh, yes you do

Okay, then tell me the truth

Every individual is only a version of you. How can they forgive when there's no forgiveness in your heart?

I could tell you where I'm going

I could tell you who you are

You fell out of Heaven 'cause you was anxious

Didn't like authority, only searched to be heinous

Isaiah fourteen was the only thing that was prevalent

My greatest music director was you

It was colors, it was pinks, it was reds, it was blues

It was harmony and motion

I sent you down to earth 'cause you was broken

Rehabilitation, not psychosis

But now we here now

Centuries you manipulated man with music

Embodied you as superstars to see how you moving

You came a long way from garnishing evilish views

And all I ever wanted from you was love and approval

I learned a lot, no more putting these people in fear

The more that word is diminished, the more it's not real

The more light that I can capture, the more I can feel

I'm using words for inspiration as an idea

So can you promise that you won't take your gifts for granted?

I promise that I'll use my gifts to bring understanding

For every man, woman, and child, how much can you vow?

I vow my life just to live one in harmony now

You crushed a lot of people keeping their thoughts in captivity

And I'm ashamed that I ever created that enemy

Then let's rejoice where we at

I rewrote the devil's story just to take our power back, 'carnated

[thatblackravenclaw]

Pen Pals

a/n: you guys know how Andrew Garfield’s parents are British but he was born in L.A. but he still has a British accent that’s not extremely British with a little bit of an American twinge? that’s what the reader sounds like. also, i go by the grades of everyone in the books so Cho and the reader are a year older than the golden trio and a year younger than the twins. 

Blog Details | Let’s take a trip

Fred Weasley x Black!fem!reader (Ravenclaw)

warning(s): british slander bc im a raging american (RED WHITE AND BLUE MF THESE COLORS DON’T RUN BITCH lmfao please believe me when i say im joking), cursing, mention of drugs and alcohol use, tooth rotting fluff

word count: 3.3k

.

.

.

“Are you writing to that British boy again?” I hear from over my shoulder.

“Yes, and have you heard of personal space?” We erupt in giggles as I push her away.

I close my notebook and move from my desk to my bed. The foot of my mattress is barricaded with boxes. I look around and see my childhood home become empty and filled with boxes and buckets. The walls that were once painted with polaroids of my friends and family from over the years is now back to its basic color of brown that was painted when I was born. My desk is no longer covered with knick-knacks and clutter. The room is just empty. I’m happy that my mom got promoted so my dad gets to go back to his hometown, but it’s going to be hard leaving a place I’ve spent ¾ of my life in.

My mom is a Magizoologist. She came to the United States 20 years ago for a business trip. My dad is a Dragonologist. Their paths crossed when she came to help take a look at a sick Dragon. He showed him how their sanction work and over time I guess they became close because 3 years later I was born.

We used to go back and forth between Illinois and England for about 4 and ½ years before mom decided to just move here. I guess the distance was just a little too much for them, so she decided to move here and now we’re moving back.

I lay down on the bed and stare at the ceiling. It’s scattered with glow in the dark stars that I begged for when I was 7 and ten years later, here they still stick. I’ve been asking dad for four years to take them down. He always said he’d get around to it.

The air feels dry, and my throat is scratchy. I’m trying my best to hold my tears at bay. I love England. It’s a second home to me. Whenever I’m out for summer break I go to my grandparents’ house in Norwich. This is different though. I’m going to be living there now. The British accent I had when I was younger has faded overtime to an American-British hybrid. I’ll surely be made fun of for it.

Maya lays down next to me. We’ve been best friends since the 3rd grade. Just the two of us against the world. Now I have to go through the rest of university without her.

“Maybe it won’t be bad. The worst part is going to be eating their food.” Her jab pulls a smile to the corner of my lips.

“I’ve heard the food at Hogwarts is actually pretty good.”

“Not possibly better than Ilvermony.”

“Never!” I dramatize the word with a gasp. Really selling it as if saying Hogwarts food is better than Ilvermony is a federal offense.

The dust settles and a silence washes over us. It’s a comfortable silence. Soaking in our last moments together. I know it’s not forever. I get to come back here on holiday, and she can use the floo network to visit me, but it won’t be the same. This is the person who has a key to my house because she’s considered family. The same person who that brings me an extra banana nut muffin every day before school just because she knows it’ll bring a smile to my face. I won’t get that anymore.

“What time are you guys leaving tomorrow?” Her head turns towards me, but I keep my eyes trained on the popcorn ceiling in fear that the tears I’ve been holding back will give me away.

“Early. I think 6. We’re meeting the realtor with the keys at 7, so we need to make sure that all of our stuff gets transported this in one fell swoop since we’re apperating there and apparently mom came up with a spell to have our stuff apperate to the new house.”

“Hm. Have you told British boy that you’re got accepted into Hogwarts?”

“Fred doesn’t even know what I look like. Let alone that I got accepted to the same school as him.”

“HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE?” I slap my hand over her mouth and shush her.

“Bitch, shut the fuck up. My parents are right down the hall and don’t know I have a pen pal. They said it was dangerous because people pretend to be someone they’re not, but what the hell?”

She pushes my hand off of her mouth and sits up. Her back meets my headboard and she straight ahead at the door.

“Do you know what he looks like?”

I nod my head yes before rolling off of the bed. I feel to the last page of my journal and find and find a polaroid of him and his brother George from when they went to something called The Quidditch World Cup. I do a quick look over before making my way back to the bed and offering my hand to Maya. She looks at the picture and you can almost see her eyes bulging out of their sockets.

“He has a twin brother?”

“No it’s just someone he met at school.” I resist the temptation to roll my eyes at her comment, but the attitude goes completely over her head.

“Is he single?”

“Maya!” I exclaim with my jaw dropped. “What? You can have a twin and I can’t?”

“Oh hush. You said yourself that you don’t even date white boys.”

“That was before I saw this one. Besides, he’s a ginger so he’s exempt from that statement.”

“I’m really going to miss you Maya.” We make eye contact for the first time in a while and her eyes soften.

“I’m gonna miss you too Angel.”

She looks down at her watch and tells me that it’s fifteen minutes to ten meaning it’s almost curfew. We share one last tearful goodbye as she walks out of my bedroom door for the last time.

.          .          .

Sure enough, at 5:45 my dad woke me up and told me it was time to get ready to leave. I had taken one last look around my room and made my way downstairs to meet my mother so we could all leave. Right as the clock struck 6, my parents let me grab the powder and be the first to see our new home.

I stood in the foyer and tried to convince myself that it isn’t the best house I’ve ever seen. It’s got a cottage core vibe going on, on the outside. It’s cozy, but big enough for all of us. I wanted so badly not to like it. We went to the backyard and there’s a small river filled with a family of ducks. To the right there’s something that looks like a shack, but bigger. My parents then explained to me it’s my own apartment. That’s when the smile broke across my face. I was finally getting my own space.

The house tour didn’t last long due to the tight schedule we are on. I ended up just waving my wand and letting the magic unpack my stuff as we were right back in the fireplace. Why? Because tomorrow is the first day of school and I have not done any school shopping. The stuff on the list differs a little bit from the shopping list we had for Ilvermony so dad thought it best to wait until we got here. We had to go to Diagon Alley anyway for everyone to open up a bank account.

Now, I’m standing in Madam Malkin’s getting measured for everything. Once I’ve been basically poked and prodded all over my body with clothes pins, I stare out the window and watch everything and everyone pass by. As if someone had played a slow potion button, I see a whole family of red heads walk down the cobblestone and sure enough one of them is Fred. I snap my head down and try to cover my face with my hair. I don’t know why I did that. Once again, he has no idea what I look like.

“All done. You can step down now.” I look over to Madam Malkin and grab my uniform and robe out of her hands. I thank her and rush out the door. Thankfully my parents are done with their list too so we decide to go home.

.          .          .

The next 18 hours go by quick. I didn’t get a chance to really enjoy my apartment or decorate it due to packing up my trunk since we once again left early in the morning for transportation.

The train ride was painfully boring. No one told me how long it is from England to Scotland. I sat with some mundane people whose names I don’t remember. They were also half asleep and exchanged pleasantries only out of politeness. We bought some stuff off of the trolley and then went back to our own worlds.

At one point it became a little suffocating and I needed to pee so I got up and started walking through the cars when I heard a “Have you heard from her yet, Fred,”. I had stopped before becoming visible to their compartment. He told them no and that he was a little worried. That’s when I remembered that Maya distracted me so I never got to finish the letter.

At the moment, I’m standing at the front of the line of 1st years because I’m new as well but I’m older so I get to get sorted first. My hood is up and I’m looking at the ground, suddenly interested in my shoes. Professor McGonagall informs everyone that I’m a new student from the American wizarding school and I feel my face heat up, knowing the amount of comments I’m about to get from everyone.

She calls my name and I carefully walk up the stairs. At this point my hood is still up so no one has gotten a clear view of my face. I want to do a big reveal of sorts. I sit down and let the hood slide from off of my head. There’s gasps from all across the hall. Some whistles from a few guys. Whispers from a few girls. A handful of people conveyed nonchalant expressions which I greatly appreciate over being fawned over. My eyes gravitate toward the Gryffindor table and I catch Fred already looking at me. His friends are nudging him with an elbow while also looking at me. I guess that answers the question of if he told his friends about me or not. I can’t decipher how he feels, but the adoration on his face calms my nerves enough.

I break our eye contact to look back down at the floor as not to fall off of the stool. I make haste to the Ravenclaw table. I greet everybody and they instantly start asking questions. I laugh as I can’t understand them all at once, but it’s funny hearing them squabble like seagulls. A hand is placed over mine and I look in the direction of where it came from. A beautiful Asian girl gives me a small smile.

“Hi y/n, my name is Cho.” I return the smile and tell her that it’s nice to meet her. A silence washes over the table. I become befuddled and look around to distinguish if I did or said something wrong.

“I thought you were American?” Someone says from the other side of the table. I don’t catch sight of who said it, but respond, nonetheless.

“I am. Well, I’m half. My mom is American and my dad is British. I was born in Manchester but was raised in America.”

An understanding nod is shared amongst the table in hearing vicinity and the conversation ceases as someone else is sorted into Ravenclaw.

.          .

After dinner the prefects give the first years a quick tour of the castle and show them to their houses. Cho snuck me with the other 5th years. I’m thankful as I far from want to be touring the castle with a bunch of children. Besides, I have a map of the school and I’ve created a spell that can bewitch the map to help me find my classes.

We make our way up the many staircases and are faced with a large door with an Eagle head as the knocker.

“The only way to enter the common room is by answering a riddle. If you get it wrong, then you have to stand here until someone else comes and says the correct answer or until someone from the inside opens the door.” She says to me. I nod my head in understanding.

“Wanna try it?” Another Ravenclaw asks me. A male. I believe his name is Talbott. I nod my head again and step closer to the door.

“When young, I am sweet in the sun. When middle-aged, I make you gay. When old, I am valued more than ever. What am I?” The voice bellows as the Eagle moves its beak. It shakes my core a little bit.

I look around at the other Ravenclaws. Some with quizzical brows. Some with a knowing look. Others just looking and awaiting my answer. The answer would have caught me up if it weren’t for the last clue; “When old, I am more valued than ever.”

“Wine.” There’s a click sound as if unlocking a lock, and the door slowly opens. Smalls cheers are shared as we walk in.

I’m stuck at the entrance of the threshold inside by the sight in front of me. It’s probably the most gorgeous room I’ve ever seen. The ceiling is coved and gives the illusion of a clear night sky. Stars litter the ceiling and give off the effect of actual twinkling. A blue velvet couch sits in front of a fire, with matching chairs on either side. What really catches my attention is the enormous statue of Rowena Ravenclaw in front of a bookcase. We never had anything like this at Ilvermony. Our emblem was a serpent and we would just have those displayed in various parts of the common room. I watch as everyone goes to various parts of the room while some go behind the bookcase. Cho grabs my hand and also brings me behind the staircase. She shows me that behind this staircase is where the dorms and bathrooms are. I follow her up the staircase and to a dorm. The rooms inferior to the common room but not any less gorgeous. The beds align with the wall as each dorm is in the shape of a tower.

“I see you got the middle bed. Seems fitting as you’re new.” No malice in her tone, though I can see in some way it might have seemed like it.

I sit on the bed and exhale. Truly exhale. This whole journey has been happening too fast. Now that I’m sorted into a house, everything else seems easy. I went over my schedule with Cho and we have all the same classes except Defense Against The Dark Arts. I guess I’ll survive one class without her.

“Well come on lazy bones.” A different girls says to me. Anastasia I believe.

“What?” I sit back up and ask with pure curiosity.

“It’s time to get ready for the party.”

“What party?”

.          .

The beginning of the year party. The party where everybody gets blacked out and regrets it in the morning since we start classes at 8 am.

I believe I heard someone earlier yell about flower. A Hufflepuff I believe. I had put on the sluttiest thing I owned and made my way down to the party with everyone else. None of us wear heels, as not to be caught by the caretaker.

The party is in full swing when we open the door the ballroom. The lights are dimmed, but the strobes of light are pungent. We barely make it to the drink table without bumping into everyone on the way. At the drink table is a tall red head with another tall read head which I can only assume is me about to be dealing with the consequences of my own actions.

“Excuse us,” Cho exclaims at the two while trying to push our way to the punch bowl. They look our way and go to move but freeze when they set their eyes on me.

“Y/n?” Fred asks/yells.

“In the flesh,” I yell back.

His smile reaches his eyes as he pulls me in a hug. My face in brought into an awkward place where it’s not quite his chest but not quite his stomach either. I wrap my arms around his middle and hug him back. He smells like cinnamon. I welcome in the scent as we hug for a few more seconds. I can only imagine what Cho is thinking right now.

We pull back at the same time and he begins to speak again. I can’t really hear him over the noise of the ballroom. I look in the direction of the entrance of the room and point to it. He nods his head and we walk towards it, hand in hand.

The door closes behind us but we still stood with our hands intwined.

“Pen pals for 4 years and you didn’t tell me you were transferring.” He exclaims while keeping his voice down.

“I wanted to surprise you.” I say sheepishly.

“Considered me surprised.” He smiled no longer reaches his cheeks but its more somber.

We hear footsteps coming from the far end of the corridor. He pulls me and we start running. I don’t know where we’re going but I trust him. A giggle threatens to out my mouth as we are going up the maze of stairs.

After what feel like forever, we make it to the floor that the Ravenclaw tower is on. I see that Gryffindor is also on this floor. In the middle of both is a spiral staircase. Great. More stairs. He leads us up to a room that looks like a classroom with multiple astronomy tools and an openness to the outside.

“Welcome to the Astronomy classroom.” I unknowingly let go of his hand as I look around in amazement. There’s a celestial sphere with all the constellations on it. A fancy telescope by the balcony. It’s quite literally the Ravenclaw common room in classroom form.

“Gods, this place is gorgeous.” I walk onto the balcony and stare up at the sky. All the stars twinkle and the moon is full.

“As are you.” I turn my body around and face him. He walks up next to me without breaking eye contact.

“Not a disappointment, am I?”

“Only a little. I expect more of an American accent.” I laugh at this before looking down at my shoes.

“You and everyone else. It’s there a little bit with certain words and phrases.”

.          .

I sit on the ledge and we talk for a bit. Not much to tell considering I know almost everything about him and vice versa. We talk about school and the people here which eventually leads to the topic of dating.

“Anyone here you fancy yet?”

“You could say that.” I look into his eyes and see if he’s able to read in between the lines.

He leans in and I hear my breath hitch. My fingers grip the railing. His eyes jump to my lips and back to my eyes.

“Who is it?” We both know.

“He’s in Gryffindor. Tall red head with freckles. His brothers are also in Gryffindor.” We inch closer.

“I might know him. What’s his name?” 3 inches apart.

“Ron.” He rolls his eyes at the answer with a chuckle.

“Shut up,” and then he kissed me.

.

.

.

Fred Masterlist | United Kingdom

[sandybrett]

WOE.BEGONE Character Playlists, Part 2

Here are all my character playlists for WOE.BEGONE characters who are not, have never been, and will presumably never be Mike Walters. Listed in order of first appearance. Cut for length and possible vague spoilers.

Matt

"The Magician" by Dizzy "The Winding Stair Mountain Blues" by the Turnpike Troubadours "Cuyahoga Canal" by The Taxpayers (suggested on the Discord) "Down Here" by the Turnpike Troubadours "Research Me Obsessively" from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Anne

"She Lives (In a Time of Her Own)" by The Judybats "A Shot in the Arm" by Wilco "Bravado" by Lorde "We Can Build a Fire" by Autoheart (from a collaborative Ty/Mike playlist) "Shot at the Title" by Curtis McMurtry "The Bonnie Dell House" by Sarah and the Safe Word (from @fortunechaos's Cowgirl Anne playlist)

Ryan & Cannonball

"Turn The Lights Off" by Tally Hall (suggested on Discord) "Blast Doors" by Everything Everything (from Percival's playlist)

Hunter

"So-Called Friend" by Uncle Tupelo "Hanging Tree" by Tim Easton "Heel Turn 1" by The Mountain Goats (suggested by @solipsistful) "Chaplinesque" by Curtis McMurtry "Harvest" by I See Hawks In L.A. "Heel Turn 2" by The Mountain Goats (from @solipsistful's playlist) "Burning Bed" by The Backsliders "When Will You Die?" by They Might Be Giants "Gaucho" by Steely Dan "Can't Cheat Death" by The Ballroom Thieves (from @fortunechaos's Mikey playlist) "my tears richochet" by Taylor Swift "A Fond Farewell" by Elliott Smith

Chance & Shadow

"Emmylou" by First Aid Kit (suggested by @woebegonepod on Discord) "Trouble's Here" by Jann Browne "Don't Follow" by Shelby Merry (from @auxilion's playlist)

Marissa & Charlie

"Old Slew Foot" by Rose Maddox "Miss Marissa" by Reckless Kelly "The Girl I Can't Forget" by Fountains of Wayne "Wilder than Her" by Dar Williams "Don't Follow" by Shelby Merry (from @auxilion's playlist) "it's time to get good at darts" by Brian David Gilbert

Edgar

"What A Heavenly Way To Die" by Troye Sivan "Flaws" by Bastille (from Scholastic Arson's Edgar playlist) "FOOLS" by Troye Sivan "Don't Ask Me Why" by The Backsliders "Body Paint" by Arctic Monkeys (suggested by @fortunechaos) "Out of the Picture" by Son Volt "When Anger Shows" by Editors (from Scholastic Arson's Edgar playlist) "Happiness Will Ruin This Place" by San Fermin (from @ante--meridiem's Mike/Edgar playlist) "I Saw It Coming" by Reckless Kelly "A Lifetime to Find" by Wilco "In Our Bedroom After the War" by Stars (from Scholastic Arson's Edgar playlist) "Mesa, Arizona" by Jeffrey Foucault "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" by Paula Cole "Expert in a Dying Field" by The Beths "IDK You Yet" by Alexander 23 (from @auxilion's playlist) "Ours" by Joe Pug (suggested by @woebegonepod on Discord) "Somewhere in Time" by Reckless Kelly

Ty

"This House Is a Circus" by Arctic Monkeys (suggested by @fortunechaos) "Erase" by They Might Be Giants (from @solipsistful's playlist) "I Love You for Psychological Reasons" by They Might Be Giants (from a collaborative Ty/Mike playlist) "My Ugly" by Cloudfodder (from Scholastic Arson's Ty/Mike playlist) "Skullcrusher Mountain" by Jonathan Coulton (from a collaborative Ty/Mike playlist) "Cowboys are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other" by Ned Sublette "Panoply" by WOE.BEGONE (from @fortunechaos's Tex/Outlaw playlist) "Otters" by Ryan MacIntyre (from @fortunechaos's Tex/Outlaw playlist) "Expert in a Dying Field" by The Beths "Pot Kettle Black" by Wilco "Outlaw Ty" by WOE.BEGONE "Jenny" by the Mountain Goats "It's All Part of the Plan" by the Punch Brothers "Sway" by The Rolling Stones "Blood Orange Morning Light" by Andrew Montana (from finch's Tex/Outlaw playlist)

Felix

"This House Is a Circus" by Arctic Monkeys "Parallel Universes" by Dan Warren (from @ante--meridiem's Mike playlist) "3 AM" by Matchbox Twenty "Working for the Knife" by Mitski

August

"Cowboys are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other" by Ned Sublette "Seven Shells" by Fred Eaglesmith "Almost (Sweet Music)" by Hozier "IDK You Yet" by Alexander 23 (from @auxilion's playlist) "I Saw It Coming" by Reckless Kelly "The Curse of the Blackened Eye" by Orville Peck (from Icarus is Falling's Michael/August playlist) "Mostly Major Chords" by Shayfer James (from @fortunechaos's Mikey playlist)

Jam

"Goody Two Shoes" by Adam Ant "Fun" by Troye Sivan "Gaucho" by Steely Dan "Tonight's the Day" by Wilco "ilomilo" by Billie Eilish "Ours" by Joe Pug "The Ballad of Cowboy Jam" by WOE.BEGONE

Eagle

"Kill a Man" by James and the Shame (from @auxilion's playlist) "Eye" by The Scarring Party (from @auxilion's playlist) "War on War" by Wilco "Epithet Erased: Countdown" by plasterbrain and Dawn M. Bennett (from Percival's playlist)

Songs that I desperately want to put on *someone's* playlist but I don't think they currently fit anyone

"Leavin' Yesterday" by John Howie Jr. and the Rosewood Bluff "Tired of Walking" by James McMurtry "Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But..." by Arctic Monkeys "Man Out of Time" by Elvis Costello "Broken Bed" by James McMurtry "Twist the Knife" by Neko Case

[foxes-that-run]

Canyon moon

When introducing Canyon Moon in the one night only performance harry said was written at Tom (kid harpoon) and Jenny’s house L.A. in January 2018. Jenny in the song is Tom’s wife and Harry dedicated it to her:

Longing for home and domestic life

The lyrics refer to Jenny and Tom’s settled life with kids as a dream when compared to leaving his beloved to tour:

“Sky never looked so blue So hard to leave it That's what I always do So I keep thinking back to A time under the canyon moon The world's happy waiting Doors yellow, broken, blue I heard Jenny saying "Go get the kids from school" And I keep thinking back to A time under the canyon moon I'll be gone too long from you”

Remembering lyrics

Harry talks about sharing love of music and not remember lyrics which reminds us of his temper trap tattoo. After the bridge the song ends with ‘looking back’ because the relationship didn’t survive his journey. :

“I'm going, oh, I'm going I'm going, oh, I'm going home Quick pause in conversation She plays songs I've never heard An old lover's hippie music Pretends not to know the words And I keep thinking back to A time under the canyon moon”

Dulcimer

To Rolling Stone Harry spoke about the influence of Joni Michell’s Blue for Canyon Moon: “he and Kid Harpoon tracked down Joellen Lapidus, the woman who built Mitchell’s dulcimer for Blue. She not only made one for Harry, she gave him and Kid Harpoon their first dulcimer lesson at her house.”

Between 3-4 March 2012 Taylor Swift wrote "Nothing New" for Red. She'd just learned to play the Appalachian dulcimer because that's what her hero Joni Mitchell played on Blue. Swift penned this song on a flight from Perth using the instrument, inspired by Mitchell's "A Case Of You." Thank you @mynkno

Laurel Canyon, Joni Mitchell

The canyon is likely Laurel Canyon where Joni Mitchell lived while dating Graham Nash. At the height of their fame in the 70’s Joni and Nash had a strong attraction, broke up and wrote many songs about the heartbreak, including Blue.

California has a similar meaning to Canyon Moon. Joni sings of being weary from travelling in Europe after breaking up with Nash, longing for home in California and includes hoping he will take her as she is ‘strung out on another man’ (breaks my heart every time)

Harry owned a Hollywood Hills house near laurel Canyon, from 2016 which was for sale when he wrote this. The song was written at Toms house ‘around the corner’.

TS also owned a house in the area 2012-2018 which he visited before leaving to tour and she sold the year this was written (to buy another in LA).

In his interview with Zane Lowe about the album at 38:45 in Harry talks about his relationship with California changing and it never being home.

Summary

Canyon moon is bittersweet about a relationship with someone who has a shared love of music, harry gives two outcomes:

The reference to Joni and Nash are a couple who are driven to succeed as famous musicians. Passion and leaving LA to tour were challenges and the relationship ended, as happened in the relationship he is looking back on,

The reference to Jenny show a different path, Harry is daydreaming about having stayed in LA and having domestic bliss with someone who shares his love of music.

The song is about what could have been and missing the relationship rather than place.