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#Live Support Chat For Website
henrysmithpu · 1 year
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Expert Clinical Psychologist Services in Bella Vista
Are you seeking professional guidance for your mental well-being? Look no further! Our Clinical Psychologist in Bella Vista offers specialized and compassionate therapy services to address a wide range of mental health concerns. With years of experience and a client-centered approach, we provide a safe and supportive environment for healing and personal growth. Take the first step towards a happier, healthier life by scheduling an appointment with our Clinical Psychologist in Bella Vista today. Your mental wellness is our priority.
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alexanaraxadel · 1 year
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f1′s champagne podiums are so fun because the vibes are literally: running through sprinklers in the summer, shooting water guns at your friends, playing with the hose in the driveway as kids
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hamadisthings · 3 months
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HELP US STOP CHAT CONTROL!
If you live in the EU, you absolutely need to pay attention to what's to come. What is Chat Control, you may ask? In a (failed) attempt to combat child abuse online the EU made Chat Control, Chat Control will result in getting your private messages and emails to be scanned by artificial intelligence aka AI to search for CSAM pictures or discussion that might have grooming in there. And on top of having your private conversations handed to AI or the police to snoop in, like your family pictures, selfies, or more sensitive pics, like the medical kind, only meant to be seen by your doctors, or the "flirtatious" kind you send to your partner, you either have to ACCEPT to be scanned...or else you will be forbidden from sending pictures, videos, or even links, as said here.
Kids should absolutely be protected online, without question, but the things that Chat Control gets wrong is that this is a blatant violation of privacy, without even considering the fact that AI WILL create tons of false positives, this is not a theory, this is a fact. And for all the false positives that will be detected, all of them will be sent to the police, which will just flood their system with useless junk instead of efficiently putting resources to actual protect kids from predators.
It also does not help that politicians, police officers, soldiers etc will be exempt from Chat Control if it passes. If it's for the sake of protection, shouldn't everyone get the same treatment? Which further prove that Chat Control would NOT keep your data of private life safe. Plus, bad actors will simply stop using messenger apps as soon as they know they're being tracked, using more obscure means, meanwhile innocent people will be punished by using those services On top of this, the EU also plans on reintroducing Data retention called "EU Going Dark". Both Chat Control and EU Going Dark are clear violation of the GDPR, and even if they shouldn't stand a chance in court, its not going to prevent politicians from trying to ram these through as an excuse to mass surveil European citizens, using kids as a shield. Even teenagers sending pictures to each other won't be exempt, which entirely goes against the purpose of protecting kids by retaining their private photos instead. Furthermore, once messaging apps are forced to comply with Chat Control, the president of Signal, a secured messaging app with encryption, have confirmed that they will be forced to leave the EU if this is enforced against them.
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If Chat Control also ends up targeting any websites with the option of private messages, you better expect Europe to be geo-blocked by any websites offering such function. I would also like to add that EU citizens were very vocal in the fight against KOSA, an equally bad internet bill from the US-- and it showed! Which is why we heavily need the help of our fellow US peers to fight against Chat Control too, so please, because we all know if it passes, the US government will take a look at this and conclude "Ooh, a way to force mass surveillance on citizens even more than before? don't mind if I do!" It's always a snowball effect.
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KEEP IN MIND THE EUROPE COUNCIL WILL LIKELY VOTE ON CHAT CONTROL THIS 19 JUNE OF NEXT WEEK TO SEE IF IT WILL ENTER TRILOGIES OR NOT. Even if it does enter Trilogues, the fight will only be beginning. Absentees may not count as a no, so it is crucial that you contact your MEPs HERE, as well as HERE, and you can also show your support for Edri's campaign against Chat Control HERE.
You can read more on Chat Control here as well, and you can find useful information as to which arguments to use when politely contacting your MEP (calling is better than email) here, and beneath you will find graphics you can use to spread the word!
YOU CAN ALSO JOIN OUR DISCORD SERVER (linked here) TO HELP ORGANIZE AGAINST CHAT CONTROL NON EU PEOPLE ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO JOIN TOO!
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https://discord.gg/FPDJYkUujM
PLEASE REBLOG ! NON EU PEOPLE ARE ENCOURAGED TO REBLOG AS WELL CONTACT YOUTUBERS, CONTENT CREATORS, ANYONE YOU KNOW THAT MAY HELP GET THE WORD OUT ! Let's fight for our Internet and actually keep kids safe online! Because Chat Control and EU Going Dark will only endanger kids.
PLEASE REBLOG! NON EU PEOPLE ARE ENCOURAGED TO REBLOG AS WELL CONTACT YOUTUBERS, CONTENT CREATORS, ANYONE YOU KNOW THAT MAY HELP GET THE WORD OUT !
Let's fight for our Internet and actually keep kids safe online! Because Chat Control and EU Going Dark will only endanger kids.
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car-rental-software · 2 years
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HaiVE is AI as a service that can be deployed both as a public service hosted on a heterogeneous network or as an enterprise AI solution on-premise with full privacy. Use ai as your catalyst for sales, support and development functions with on-premise infrastructure and complete business privacy. https://haive.tech/
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domjaehyun · 2 years
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PL4YG1RL IS LIVE…
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“are you lonely? are you stressed out? you deserve some fun. get your headphones, lock up the bedroom door, log on.” — PL4YG1RL, LOLO ZOUAÏ 
PAIRING(S). na jaemin x fem!reader GENRE(S). thriller/suspense, yandere, smut, angst WORD COUNT. 20.6k WARNINGS. noncon, stalking, kidnapping, violence, mentions of blood, explicit smut (protected sex, unprotected sex, forced breeding, oral (receiving), nipple play (receiving), masturbation (male & female), defiling of a stuffed animal, fingering, i think that’s it)  SUMMARY. you’re an up-and-coming camgirl, and na jaemin is a loyal supporter of your work–that is, until jaemin decides to take things to the next level.  PLAYLIST. PL4YG1RL - Lolo Zouaï, ALL MINE - Brent Faiyaz, ALL UP IN YOUR MIND - Beyoncé, Can I - Kehlani, Menace - Dounia
NOTES. hello… don’t crucify me. this is for halloween :) *insert obligatory “i don’t think these people are actually like this” statement that will protect me from anon hate* *insert compulsory “read the warnings and don’t come for me about content i warned you about” statement that will also protect me from anon hate*
if you read this fic, you assume full responsibility for consuming the content below, whether you read the warnings or not.
Saturday night, and Jaemin has nothing to do.
He sends a text to his group chat to see what they're up to before remembering it’s well past midnight. Rubbing a hand over his face, Jaemin pulls his laptop toward his body and onto his stomach. His fingers move of their own accord, typing in his favorite adult entertainment website and waiting as it loads. 
Index and middle fingers lazily scrolling through the copious amounts of explicit videos, Jaemin sighs heavily before an ad for a cam girl website catches his eye. A moment of hesitation, then a click takes him to the webpage, the background a lovely shade of pink as all the elements of the page load.
Jaemin is met with thumbnails of pretty girls in various states of undress, but no one is scratching the itch he has which is building up inside of him. A banner drops down from the top of the screen, attracting Jaemin’s attention.
PrettyKitty345 is now live.
Out of curiosity, he clicks, and the screen buffers for a moment before loading up a pretty girl with dark brown hair gazing seductively into the camera. Jaemin lingers for a moment until she speaks, her voice a perfect match for the sultry look she’s giving the viewers. 
Jaemin’s not into that, really. He likes them a little less deliberate, more effortlessly pretty. He clicks away and another banner comes down as if enticing Jaemin to stay on the website just a bit longer.
FunBunny is now live.
Another curious click brings Jaemin to the live feed of another pretty girl with white bunny ears on, whose voice is high and soft, a blatant contrast to PrettyKitty345 from earlier. Her performance is a bit too…childlike for Jaemin’s taste, discomfort swirling in his belly as he clicks away. 
PL4YG1RL is now live.
Jaemin sighs. He clicks—out of boredom, he tells himself—to enter the live feed. The second the screen finishes loading, Jaemin freezes in surprise.
You are quite literally the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. 
Sitting up slowly, Jaemin moves the laptop to rest between his legs as he studies your setup carefully.
“Hello, pretty girl,” Jaemin whispers, his throat suddenly feeling dry. “Where did you come from?”
You’re sitting on your heels on your bed, wearing a lacy pink slip dress and a sweet, kind expression. Jaemin can practically feel the warmth radiating from your gaze, and he wets his lips as he sits forward, waiting for you to speak.
“Hi, everyone,” you say, and Jaemin’s eyes squeeze shut as he groans in ecstasy.
You’re perfect. Your voice is every bit as lovely as you look, and there’s something so genuine about the way you carry yourself on camera that has Jaemin falling rapidly.
“How is everyone doing? Have you all had a good day today?” you ask, and Jaemin scrambles to reply, a window popping up that blocks the chat. 
“‘You will need an account to participate in the live chat’—oh, fuck.” Jaemin mumbles, opening a new window and quickly signing up with the website. It asks for a payment option so you can send tips, so Jaemin brings his laptop with him to his coat pocket in the foyer of his house, fumbling single handedly with taking out his wallet and pulling out a card.
Meanwhile, you’re reading through the responses coming in from the chat. “You’ve had a bad day, NiceGuy19? I’m sorry to hear that,” you frown and Jaemin’s heart clenches at how cute you are. He finishes inputting his credit card information and the window preventing him from typing in the chat box disappears.
NaJaem13: had a good day
NaJaem13: was feeling kinda bored though
He makes his way back to his bedroom, climbing onto his bed and setting the laptop back down. 
“NaJaem13, you’re bored? I’m kinda bored, too.” you hum, and Jaemin feels a fluttering in his chest. “Maybe we could entertain each other,” you propose, a playful smile curling your lips, and Jaemin decides in that exact moment that he’s sticking around in this stream until it’s over.
NaJaem13: sounds good :)
Jaemin watches, content, as you make conversation with other patrons, and when you start playing soft R&B music in the background and swaying to the music with a pleasant smile, tips start to come in. 
First it’s 20 tokens, which, Jaemin quickly searches up, is barely anything. Your eyes light up, however, and you thank the tipper gratefully.
Next comes 50 tokens, and it’s almost as if it’s a competition between the bidders, Jaemin watching in silent awe as the numbers increase to 75, 100, 150, 200– You can barely thank the donors quickly enough, a delighted laugh tumbling off your tongue that has Jaemin’s heart soaring.
Jaemin thanks his lucky stars that he just got paid this Thursday, and with a few clicks of his trackpad, he tips you 350 tokens.
“Thank you so much, NaJaem13!” You smile widely, bouncing slightly in place with excitement. Jaemin’s heart clenches; he’d do anything for that smile.
NiceGuy19: how much to take your dress off? 
Jaemin can’t help but bristle at how forward “NiceGuy” is. Your brows raise in intrigue as you read through the chat, replying as best as you can to the messages coming in.
“NiceGuy19, if you’d like me to start taking clothes off, I have my goals for tonight on the display next to my feed,” you say politely.
Sure enough, Jaemin looks at the text to the left of your feed and sees that there are options to have you remove your dress, underwear, bra, dance around, play with a vibrator, dildo, or other sex toys, and Jaemin’s brain honestly fizzles out at the options asking you to do more. His mind is reeling thinking about his hands on your hips, moving you from position to position—
Jaemin’s hand finds his length before he even knows it, fingers gripping the thick base of his shaft and pumping his fist up and down.
Tips start escalating in value, the counter of tips received going up and nearing the numbers listed in your goals, and Jaemin hisses in delight when you run your hand up from your lap and over your breast to fix your hair casually. When you move to sit cross-legged on the bed, Jaemin catches a flash of your light pink underwear before you press your dress down between your legs and smile demurely. 
Jaemin’s hand speeds up, pumping his length in his fist rapidly as he daydreams about stripping you of your dress, running his hand over the lace of your underwear and toying with you until a pretty little damp spot appears in the seat of them. Then he’d pull them down your legs slowly, revealing your bare core, and tuck himself under your thighs, bringing his face level to your glistening—
Jaemin’s cumming before he even knows it, his release spurting out and landing on his shirt before the last drops dribble down his fist; he keeps going, however—fucking his hand slowly until he can’t bear it anymore and releasing himself with a shudder and a tensing of his abdomen that borders on painful.
Catching his breath, Jaemin watches you in a daze, eyes heavy-lidded as they drink in the sight of you. He studies your face, admiring your lips—
How he wishes to see those pretty lips wrapped around his fingers or his cock. How he’d love to watch them moan his name as he pleases you.
He watches your eyes—
So sweet and unsuspecting; he wants to watch those pretty eyes glaze over when he turns you into a pretty, drooling mess. He’d love to see your eyes all glossy with tears when he breaks you into the perfect little fuckdoll for him.
Your neck—
His hands itch to wrap around your neck, squeeze until you’re gasping for air, and release you not a moment too soon, lips littering kisses all over the heated skin as you desperately suck in fresh gulps of air.
He wants to fucking ruin you—destroy you, break you, make you his and utterly his alone. The desire is building, and it’s building rapidly—Jaemin has never felt this way before.
His gaze drops to your legs, lifts to your breasts, runs over your body eagerly—
His tongue gliding over the swell of your breasts, fingers digging into your thighs greedily, hot and hungry—ripping off your clothes and revealing you to him, raw, bare, vulnerable; he wants you utterly exposed so he can take you for himself. Ruin any other man for you, have his name on the tip of your tongue every time you climax, memories of his touch ghosting over your most sensitive places at any given moment—
The rest of your live is short—technical difficulties cause you to have to end the stream earlier than expected with a precious frown and sweet, sincere apology—but you promise to see everyone again at the same time on Tuesday night, and Jaemin already knows he’ll be there because he’s sure of one thing, and one thing only.
Jaemin wants you—and he wants you bad. 
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You check your reflection in the camera one last time before sitting back and clicking the live button. Casually scrolling through your phone, you wait for viewers to come in, adjusting the light pink slip you’re wearing.
NiceGuy19: hi playgirl
“Hi, NiceGuy19,” you say with a smile, looking into the camera as you speak next. “Are you doing alright tonight?” 
NiceGuy19: doing so well now that you’re live
“Oh, thank you,” you chuckle bashfully. 
A few more comments start to roll in as your live picks up traction, and you do your best to answer each one, giving everyone the attention they’re requesting.
A familiar handle pops up and you can’t help but smile.
“Hi, NaJaem13,” you smile just a bit wider, wanting to really cater to the user who gives the most generous tips. “It’s nice to see you again.”
NaJaem13: couldn’t stay away from you
“You’re so smooth,” you laugh, amused by his boldness. “You must have broken a lot of hearts, huh?”
NaJaem13: maybe a few
“I missed you last week,” you pout at the camera, and several tips come in. “You left me.”
NaJaem13: won’t happen again
NaJaem13: i promise
He can promise anything he wants as long as the tips keep coming in. You smile at his response and proceed to give your other tippers attention—they paid for a show and you’ll give them one.
You’re still playing it up for the camera, answering a few more questions and thanking the tippers, when a hefty tip and a comment by NaJaem13 catch your eye.
NaJaem13: wish i could have you to myself
You can’t help but raise a brow in intrigue, silently hoping he’s as attractive as he seems. 
“NaJaem13, you can always book me for a private show,” you offer, pointing to the left of your screen at the drop down list of booking options. 
NaJaem13: my name is Jaemin btw
“Nice to meet you, Jaemin,” you coo, giving a small wave to the camera. 
A banner notification drops down on your screen and you read the words curiously.
NiceGuy19 has requested a private show.
You mask your disappointment—that wasn’t exactly who you were aiming for, but it’s still a good thing—and click ‘Accept,’ the time of the show taking you by surprise. 
You’re not sure if NiceGuy19 and NaJaem13—Jaemin, you think; his name is Jaemin—are in some sort of competition, but it doesn’t seem like a coincidence that he booked you for a show for the duration of the time you would be on live…right after you offered a private show to Jaemin.
You actually don’t fully care if they’re beefing or whatever—the money in your pocket is taking no sides—so you just flash a regretful smile at the camera, fixing your hair.
“I’m sorry, everyone, but I have a private show scheduled for right now; I have to cut the live short.” you frown apologetically, and several responses, ranging from sad to annoyed to understanding, flood the chat. “I know, guys, I’m sorry, truly. I’ll be here next week for sure, okay?”
NiceGuy19: see you in a minute ;)
NaJaem13: have fun NiceGuy
NaJaem13: have a good night playgirl :)
“You too, Jaemin,” you hum kindly, giving one last wave before turning off the camera. 
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Things escalate the following week when Jaemin decides he isn’t about to let NiceGuy19 swoop in and steal you away again.
After a couple of moments of futzing around on the website page, Jaemin finds the link to book you for a private session and fumbles through the process with excited fingers. He books you for tonight, right after your public show, and sits back in excitement as he waits for his time alone with you. 
PL4YG1RL has accepted your request for a private show.
His phone lights up, likely a confirmation from his banking app that the transaction went through, and Jaemin can’t help but wince at the steep deduction his account’s going to be hit with.
It’s worth it, though, because he gets you.
After what feels like ages, your show finally ends and the display goes black. A buffering symbol appears on the screen, only heightening his anticipation for you. 
After a couple of minutes, your screen loads and Jaemin is practically blown away by your beauty. 
Yes, he just saw you, but he’ll never get tired of watching you. 
“Hi, NaJaem,” you hum, smiling. “My favorite viewer—how are you tonight?”
Jaemin’s mouth goes dry as he sits forward to type out a reply.
NaJaem13: i’m better now that you’re here
NaJaem13: how’s my favorite girl doing?
“Your favorite girl? Stop, you’ll make me shy,” you laugh, and Jaemin smiles widely even though you can’t see him.
NaJaem13: i like you shy
NaJaem13: it’s cute
“You’re such a charmer,” you giggle. “Is there something you’d like me to do for you tonight?”
Jaemin thinks for a minute; he didn’t fully have a plan—he just wanted you all to himself for a night.
You’re patient while he thinks, humming a soft tune to yourself, and Jaemin marvels at just how lovely you are.
His eyes land on something almost out of frame, and he smiles.
NaJaem13: is that a stuffed animal?
Your head cocks to the side in confusion and Jaemin coos affectionately, finding you adorable. You look around you, your eyes lighting up in recognition as you pull a large teddy bear onto the screen from out of frame.
“Yes, it is!” you chirp, and Jaemin wets his lips with his tongue before typing out another message.
NaJaem13: i want you to ride that teddy bear until you cum
NaJaem13: can you do that for me?
Your eyes widen as you look from the screen to the stuffed animal in your hands and back to the screen. Nibbling your lower lip pensively, you nod, and Jaemin could just burst with excitement. You bring your setup to your bed before lying the bear down and straddling it. You start to rock your hips against the tan plushie, your brows furrowing in concentration, and Jaemin watches you with hungry eyes, his hand moving to palm himself through his sweats.
NaJaem13: just like that, angel
NaJaem13: doing so good
You whimper as your eyes flick to the screen, and he groans in delight, squeezing himself harder and starting to stroke himself. 
NaJaem13: how does it feel?
“So good,” you exhale shakily, and he grunts, pushing into his boxers and gripping his length, hot and heavy, at the base. 
NaJaem13: you look so pretty right now
NaJaem13: can you say my name, angel?
“Jaemin,” you moan, rocking onto the stuffie more eagerly. Your hands move from the bed to graze up your legs and torso until they’re cupping your breasts, squeezing them and shuddering with pleasure. “Jaemin, I think I’m close.” Your words come out as breathy pants that have Jaemin’s hand eagerly speeding up as he pumps his fist up and down his cock.
NaJaem13: good
NaJaem13: keep going baby. just like that
“Jaemin, can I cum?” you ask, desperation all over your face, and Jaemin nods vigorously, feeling his own climax approach, before realizing that you can’t see him.
NaJaem13: you can cum, angel
NaJaem13: cum for nana
“Nana,” you plead in a broken whine, and Jaemin watches in awe as your rocking speeds up—he tries to match the pace with his hand—and your head tips back as your climax hits. Whimpers fall from your lips freely until you bite your lip to stifle the sounds—an action, Jaemin notes, that he wishes you hadn’t done. 
You are, without a doubt, the most mesmerizing sight he’s laid his eyes on in ages, and Jaemin’s climax comes rushing in without a moment’s hesitation.
Jaemin’s cock throbs in his hand and his eyes shut tightly as he thrusts up into his hand, cum spilling from the slit and dribbling down his fist, warm and wet and white.
“God, fuck,” he groans in delight, eagerly sitting forward to study you closely. You’re still straddling the stuffed animal, and your eyes are visibly glazed over even through the computer screen. There’s a beautiful lazy, content smile on your lips, and Jaemin wishes he could take you in his arms and kiss your smile over and over again.
NaJaem13: you are so beautiful
NaJaem13: you did such a good job
“Jaemin, please, all this praise is getting to my head,” you joke, grinning bashfully, and he can’t help but chuckle fondly.
NaJaem13: good
NaJaem13: you deserve it
NaJaem13: wish i could see that pretty smile in person
You look away shyly, smiling and there’s a moment that passes in which Jaemin realizes you’re debating on whether or not to say something.
NaJaem13: what’s wrong?
“Nothing, actually,” you say sincerely, and Jaemin hums in intrigue. “I just wanted to let you know that I have some in-person slots—”
Holy shit.
NaJaem13: i’ll be sure to book one with you
“Oh—awesome,” you reply, smiling sweetly. Jaemin’s heart could burst right now and he’d die a happy man. “The link is that way,” you explain, pointing to the left of the screen, and sure enough, there’s a series of links, one titled “Book a Session.” 
NaJaem13: found it
You shoot him a thumbs up before looking off-screen for a moment, whatever you lay eyes on making you frown cutely. “I’m sorry, but we only have about three more minutes together tonight.”
NaJaem13: don’t worry about it
NaJaem13: get some sleep
Jaemin sends you a generous tip, your eyes widening in surprise when it shows up on your screen.
“Thank you, Jaemin,” you say gratefully, a shocked but pleased smile on your pretty lips. “Hopefully I see you again soon.”
NaJaem13: you will
You wave for a moment, then the screen goes black and a message shows up on the screen.
Your session with PL4YG1RL has ended.
Jaemin doesn’t want to let you book with anyone else; not after having you all to himself. He clicks the link you pointed to a moment ago, impatiently drumming his fingers on the keyboard as it loads, and the new page shows a calendar with appointment slots highlighted. Jaemin books the earliest available appointment for Tuesday at 4:00pm and sits back excitedly as the confirmation page loads.
Your appointment has been booked. Please check your email for your confirmation and further instructions.
Jaemin navigates to his email and reads over the list of stipulations. They seem standard and easy enough—like submitting a clean and recent STI test update—and a set of rules during the session—like always wearing a condom—and Jaemin scrolls and scrolls and scrolls some more until he sees the address you’re supposed to meet up at, and he smiles widely, saving it to his notes.
Three days until Jaemin meets the object of his affections. Jaemin feels like a child on Christmas Eve—well, the eve of Christmas Eve’s eve. He can hardly wait.  
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Jaemin sits in the hotel lobby, knee bouncing nervously as he waits for you. He scans the faces of everyone who enters the lobby curiously, his heart falling in disappointment when none of them are you.
You’re not late, Jaemin’s just early—and eager. 
As a matter of fact, you walk in right on time, more beautiful than ever in a cute blouse and skirt combination. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so excited in his life.
He stands up and walks over to you, smiling when you two lock eyes. 
“Jaemin?” you say curiously, and he nods, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
He is beyond handsome, you think. You got lucky.
“Hey,” he replies, stepping a bit closer to you.
“Hi,” you parrot, admittedly taken aback by how attractive he is. “Are you, um, ready to go up?”
“I was actually thinking we could…hang out, kind of.” Jaemin says carefully, scanning your face for any sort of negative reaction.
“Oh?” you ask. “Like a date?”
“Yeah!” he confirms. “Like a date.”
“Okay,” you agree, smiling at the prospect of a date with him. 
“We can go out to a café or restaurant, maybe? Only if you want. It’d be my treat.” he proposes, and your smile widens. He’s cute when he’s nervous.
“Sounds good to me.” 
He grins and offers you his arm, your brows raising in an impressed surprise at his manners as you take it, the two of you heading towards the front door.
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“So tell me about yourself, Jaemin,” you say, raising an eyebrow curiously. You two sit in a café over drinks and pastries, Jaemin eager to get to know you.
“Oh, uh…I don’t know,” he answers with a chuckle. “I’m in college…I have a brother…”
“Ooh, college?” you ask. “What are you studying?”
“Photography,” he answers, and you let out an impressed hum.
“Very cool,” you say encouragingly. “And you mentioned a brother? Older or younger?”
“Older,” Jaemin replies. “He’s a cop, actually.”
“Oh, wow.” you murmur, intrigued. 
“Can I hear more about you?” Jaemin asks, sitting forward. “What do you like? What do you like to do?” 
“Hm,” you muse, looking up in thought. “I like deer,” you finally answer, “and bunnies.”
Jaemin thinks that’s fitting for you.
“I like my job,” you continue. “Meeting all these different people is interesting.”
“Can I ask you a question?” Jaemin’s thoughts won’t stay quiet, urging him to get them off of his chest.
“Shoot.”
“Do you ever fake it?”
“Fake…?” Your head tilts to the side in confusion.
Jaemin already regrets asking. “Um, I mean, like, when you’re with other clients, and you—”
“I know what you mean, Jaemin,” you laugh. “I’m just teasing.”
“Oh, thank God.” 
“Off the record? All the time.”
“No way.” Jaemin can’t hide his shock.
“I probably fake it more times than I don’t.” You shrug, and he sits back in surprise.
“And that doesn’t get exhausting for you?”
“I can’t lie, it’s kind of fun to play it up every time.” you murmur conspiratorially, and Jaemin laughs.
You’re playful. You’re letting him know things you don’t tell other people.
There’s definitely something here.
“How do you know they don’t know you’re faking it?” he asks curiously, and you raise an eyebrow at him.
“Jaemin.”
“Hm?”
“You really think they care if I finish or not?” 
“Oh,” Jaemin mutters. He hadn’t thought about that. “I would care.” 
“Oh, yeah?” you hum playfully, nudging his foot with yours under the table. “Well, thank you. I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” 
Jaemin’s heart could give out right now. You’re flirting with him. 
“Next time?” he says hopefully. “So I can see you again?”
You give him a small but flirtatious smile. “That’s up to you.”
The first session ends as well as Jaemin could have hoped. You got a little beneath surface level with him, flirted with him, laughed with him—Jaemin thinks you might even be starting to like him. 
He saw the way you eyed him when you first met; you’re definitely attracted to him. 
So he books you again.
And again.
And…again.
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Jaemin can barely keep his eyes off of you. All you’re doing is ordering a drink at the counter, but you’re a vision of beauty in a soft yellow flowing dress, your hair tastefully styled away from your face, and his mind is racing with everything he wants to do to you.
It’s your fourth time together, and Jaemin still hasn’t made a move. He wants you so badly but wants you to want him too, so he’s been trying to get closer to you. He thinks it’s working, actually, because you seem to brighten whenever you catch sight of him. 
And all of that is well and good, but it doesn’t solve the problem he’s having right now. The very sight of you has his cock stirring in his pants.
“Are you okay, Jaemin?” you ask curiously, snapping him out of his thoughts. You’re looking at him with furrowed brows of concern, and Jaemin almost feels bad for worrying you.
“I’m alright,” he assures you, leaning forward to pay for your drink, and your face relaxes, the two of you walking over to the other side of the counter to wait for your drink. He stands just behind you, scanning your frame with desiring eyes. When you shift your weight from one foot to the other, a waft of your delicate perfume drifts into his face, and he has to control himself to restrain the groan that builds in his throat.
He decides to make his move—this isn’t how he planned for things to go today, but fuck it—and place his hands on your hips, squeezing you and pulling you closer to him.
“Hi,” you laugh, craning your neck to look back at him. 
“Mm,” Jaemin nuzzles into your hair and breathes in the sweet scent of your shampoo. “Hi. You smell so good.”
“Thank you,” you chuckle, leaning back against him. 
“And you look even better.” His voice is lower now, more seductive, and you hesitate, his tone piquing your curiosity and stirring up arousal in your stomach.
“T-Thank you,” you mumble, feeling shy now, and it’s Jaemin’s turn to chuckle, nosing past your hair to trail his lips along the shell of your ear. You take in a sharp breath at the somewhat ticklish sensation, your head tilting of its own accord to allow him more access to your neck.
His soft exhale sends warmth fanning over the sensitive area of skin, and you squirm slightly, arousal building as his lips press wet, slow, purposeful kisses down your ear to the spot just behind it. 
“Jaemin,” you warn softly, your voice whinier and huskier than you expected it to be. “We can’t do this here.”
He peppers light kisses down your neck until he’s at the juncture of your neck and shoulder, where he gently bites the skin there, relishing the whine you let out.
“I have an iced chai latte with almond milk!” the barista calls, and you move forward to pick it up, only to find yourself restrained by Jaemin’s strong arm anchoring you against him.
“Jaemin,” you whisper, “I have to get the drink.” You can’t help but laugh when he shuffles forwards with you to pick up the cup before you turn around—not without difficulty—in his embrace to face him, your eyes drifting from his darkened, lust-filled ones to his lips and back up. “What’s gotten into you?” 
“Do you have any idea how good you look?” he groans, and you blink twice, stunned by the wave of arousal that has overcome him. “That little dress is just tempting me.”
You cock an eyebrow curiously. “Tempting you to do what?”
Jaemin leans in so your lips are barely apart from each other and wets his lips, his gaze dropping to your mouth. “Rip it off of you.” He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, instead closing the distance between you two in a kiss—your first one together—that leaves you reeling. You suck in a breath of air when your lips part, Jaemin immediately pulling you back to him with a deeper kiss, his tongue playing almost lazily with yours. He sucks on your bottom lip and releases you from the liplock when you tap his chest repeatedly to get his attention.
“The hotel down the block,” you murmur against his mouth as he strokes your cheek with his thumb, “the one we met at. I have a room.”
“Let’s go,” he says immediately, linking his fingers with yours and tugging you after him.
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You two manage to make it back to the hotel quickly, hustling into the elevator where Jaemin all but pounces on you, pressing you up against the wall as the doors slide shut. The rail behind you digs uncomfortably into your back, but Jaemin’s lips on your neck distract you enough to the point where you no longer care.
“Wanted to do this for so long,” he grunts, sucking at the base of your neck and dragging his teeth along the patch of skin, making you gasp. “You’re so fucking tempting.”
“Jaemin,” you moan, your fingers sliding up his back to curl in his hair at the nape of his neck and tug. “That feels so good.” Desire blooms between your legs, warmth radiating out from your core to the rest of your body as you feel arousal start to leak from you. 
“Yeah?” he hums, moving back up to kiss your lips. “Gonna make you feel even better.” 
As if on cue, the elevator dings and the doors open on your floor, the two of you quickly making your way down the hall to your hotel room. Jaemin chuckles as you fumble around in your purse for the room key card, finally managing to catch it between your fingers and pull it out victoriously. 
You swipe the two of you in, and Jaemin barely lets the door shut before he’s pressing you up against the wall, his thigh slotting between your legs with ease. He threads his fingers in your hair, thumb caressing your jaw, and tilts your head towards him for easier access. His free hand slides around your waist, resting on the small of your back and pulling you closer to him.
“Jaemin,” you pant, pushing at his jacket to get it off of his shoulders and finally discarding it on the floor, “the bed.”
“Can’t I play with you a little bit right here?” he hums teasingly, his hand dropping from your back to hike up the hem of your dress. He strokes up the smooth flesh of your inner thigh and you hiss in pleasure, parting your legs wider for him. 
“Yeah,” you exhale, and he grins.
“Mm, yeah?”
“Yes, Jaemin, please?” You sound impatient, and Jaemin smiles at the thought of you as desperate as him.
“Okay, angel,” he acquiesces, slipping his hand up higher until they’re stroking the lace of your underwear. His fingers push the garment aside until he’s taunting you by stroking at your folds which are now slick with arousal, and the whine that spills from your lips is well worth the wait.
“More,” you whisper, and his fingers dip into your wetness immediately, eager to give you everything you want and then some.
“How’s that?” he muses, a playful smile on his lips as two of his fingers push into you, and you cry out in pleasure, gripping his shoulder with one hand to brace yourself as he curls his fingers and starts pumping them inside of you.
“S’good,” you whine, your head tipping back against the wall, and Jaemin presses his lips against yours firmly, startling you.
“I don’t want you faking it,” he urges, and your eyes widen as you nod, having forgotten you told him about that. 
“I won’t,” you promise breathlessly, and he smiles, his fingers speeding up inside of you. “Just like that, oh, God—”
“You’re so wet,” he hums, the tip of his tongue flicking at your bottom lip teasingly. “You must really like me.” When your only reply is a plaintive moan, he grins proudly and kisses down to your collarbone, biting it gently as his fingers continue to thrust into you. It’s not too long before his fingers fuck directly into your g-spot and your hips start unconsciously grinding down to get more of him inside of you.
“Jaemin—”
“Nana,” he corrects, suddenly overcome with the need to hear you call him by his nickname.
“Nana—” you moan, “I’m close, I’m so close—”
“Yeah? Are you gonna cum all over my fingers, angel?” he’s practically taunting you, and the anticipation builds in your chest just as your pleasure builds in your lower abdomen.
“Yes,” you whimper. “Yes, yes, please?”
“Cum for me, baby.” Jaemin watches in fascination as you ride his fingers to your climax, your chest pushing into his as your back arches, and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen a prettier sight in his life.
When your climax finally subsides, you look at him with pretty, glazed over eyes and a shy yet beguiling smile that has Jaemin wanting to pin you down and make you cum over and over again.
But first, Jaemin has something else on his mind.
“Angel?” Jaemin asks carefully, and you cock your head curiously, waiting for his next words. “Can I feel your mouth around me?”
You don’t say anything, but your smile widens and you sink to your knees, opening his pants teasingly slowly, eyes locked on his until your hand wraps around the thick base of his length.
“You’re so big,” you hum in delight, and Jaemin smiles fondly, the expression dropping off his face abruptly when you exhale warm air over the head of his length, a small laugh falling from your lips when he shudders and he twitches in your hand.
You lay your tongue out flat, blinking up at him before dragging your tongue up his length slowly, swirling it around the tip before wrapping your lips around him and starting to bob your head up and down, your hands stroking at what you can’t yet fit in your mouth.
“God, fuck,” Jaemin grunts, his brows knitting together as you suck him off. You pull off of him and look him directly in the eyes as you let saliva drip off your tongue and onto his length. The wet warmth sliding down his cock only makes Jaemin hiss in pleasure when you resume your actions of sucking and stroking, using the spit as lubricant.
“So good,” he croaks, thrusting forward unconsciously. His cock hits the back of your throat and your throat constricts as you gag slightly, the sensation feeling like bliss to Jaemin. “Shit, sorry,” he apologizes, and you shake your head, pulling off of him.
“Do it again,” you urge, and his brows raise up so high they practically disappear into his hairline. 
“You want it, yeah?” He’s breathless, his hand wrapping over yours and aiding you in stroking him. “Angel wants Nana’s cock in her pretty little mouth?” 
“Yes,” you say, pouting, and Jaemin feels like his heart could just explode. “Please, Nana?”
“Holy fuck,” he mumbles, awestruck and in heaven. “Anything for you, angel. Open up.” He taps his cock against your lips, grinning when you part them and let your tongue loll out of your mouth. He rubs the head of his length against your tongue for a moment before slowly pushing into your mouth and starting to thrust. The faint wet gagging noises only add to the ambience, Jaemin’s grunts and pants helping to create a lustful soundscape.
“You like when I fuck your pretty little mouth?” he asks, and you nod, whining around him and sending vibrations all down his length. “You are so perfect,” he murmurs, infatuated with the sight of you on your knees for him. 
His thrusts speed up until he’s fucking into your mouth with sharp pumps, low groans leaving his lips freely. 
You’re taking it like a champ, Jaemin thinks, watching in fascination as your eyes go glassy, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes before they start spilling down your cheeks. You are the prettiest thing he has ever seen, and the realization and wave of adoration he feels has him pulling out of your mouth abruptly.
“On the bed,” he urges, and you oblige, moving to sit at the edge of the bed. He hovers over you, encroaching on your space until you’re on your back, a playful smile on your lips as you look up at him. “Let’s get these off,” he murmurs, hiking up your dress to hook his fingers in your underwear and pull them off your legs. When your glistening core is exposed to him, he groans, pumping his cock in his fist slowly as he adjusts you further up the bed. 
Jaemin fishes out the condom he brought from his pants pocket on the floor, ripping the package open and rolling it on impatiently, before he presses his cock against your core, the head nestling between your folds to rest just before your entrance. 
He pushes into you slowly, a whoosh of relief leaving his lungs, and you clench around him, mewling at the sensation of him filling you up.
“So big,” you moan, and he leans over you again to capture your lips with his, kissing you sweetly to distract you from the discomfort as it ebbs away. 
“You’re so good,” Jaemin mumbles in a daze, silently praying you adjust soon so he can fuck you. “Doing so well.” 
“You can move,” you urge him in a soft voice, and he presses another kiss to your lips before straightening his back, draping one of your legs over his shoulder and pulling out to the tip before burying himself in your walls once more. 
He quickly builds up a pace that has broken moans falling from your lips and grunts from his, the sounds of skin slapping against skin resonating through the hotel room.
“Feels so good, angel,” Jaemin practically babbles, losing his sensibility the longer he fucks you. “So tight and wet, shit—” 
You respond with a flex of your walls around his length that draws an uncharacteristic whimper from him, and he can feel the beginnings of his climax stirring just behind his navel. He brings two fingers to his mouth and withdraws the now spit-slicked digits to bring them to your clit, massaging circles into the sensitive bud. 
You’re in bliss as Jaemin stimulates your clit with skillful strokes. He thrusts into you at a different angle than before and your nails dig into the bedspread as his tip kisses your g-spot.
“Oh, my God, right there!” You cry, and he grins smugly, complying and thrusting into the sensitive patch of nerves over and over again as your climax approaches rapidly. “Jaemin—” you plead, rocking back against him desperately. 
“Are you gonna cum again, angel?” he coos sweetly, and his grin only widens at your eager nod. “Good; cum for me, baby. Cum all over Nana’s cock.”
Pleasure washes over you in waves as your orgasm rushes through your body, and all you can do is whimper Jaemin’s name over and over as you ride out your high.
“Hang in there, baby, I’m close,” he groans, his thrusts speeding up as he focuses on getting himself to finish. He cums not long after you do, releasing into the condom with a shudder rippling down his spine. He hangs his head as he catches his breath and slowly pulls out of you, tying off the condom and heading to the garbage bin by the side of the bed. “Are you okay?” he asks, and you smile blissfully, nodding.
“I’m great,” you assure him, and he sighs in relief. 
“Good,” he replies. “Hold on one second,” he murmurs, disappearing into the bathroom for a moment and returning with a damp washcloth and you giggle as he cleans you up and then himself.
“You’re such a gentleman,” you say, smiling, and he shrugs bashfully. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” he answers softly, lying down on the bed beside you after he’s pulled his boxers back up. “Was that good?” His voice sounds more worried than he planned to let on, but there’s no taking it back now.
“It was amazing, Jaemin,” you reassure him, and he nods, smiling shyly. 
Jaemin really thinks this could be something special. He’s sure of one thing—he’s definitely booking you at every available opportunity.
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“Girl, where are you headed today?” Yuna laughs incredulously as you start packing up your things.
“I have an appointment.” You smile secretively, and Ryujin sits up from her spot on the couch, a skeptical furrow between her brows.
“With that same guy from earlier this week?” She asks, and you nod. “You do realize that he’s booked you literally every day this week, right?”
“Of course I realize that,” you snort in amusement. “More importantly, my bank account realizes that.” 
“You see that guy more times in a week than you do us,” Yuna huffs with a pout, and you mirror her expression sympathetically.
“You’re being dramatic; there’s no way I’ve seen him more than you guys,” you reply, and Yuna rolls her eyes, Ryujin sighing in mild frustration.
“It’s the principle of the thing!” Ryujin exclaims, and you shoot her a look.
“Be for real,” you say flatly. “Think of it like…I work in a diner, and I’m picking up extra shifts.”
“Things must be getting real heated in that diner if he keeps coming back.” Ryujin teases, and you throw the nearest item—a pillow from Yuna’s couch—at her, laughing when it hits its mark.
“You know, he’s actually really good in bed. It’s kind of crazy that he’s single,” you muse thoughtfully. “Besides, sometimes we don’t even have sex.”
“Really?” Ryujin raises her eyebrows in surprise.
“Does he ask you to do kinky fetish stuff, like walk on his back in stilettos?” Yuna asks curiously, and you and Ryujin look at her, bewildered.
“Wh—Where did that even come from?” Ryujin laughs.
“You know, I have actually done that before…but, no, not for him.” You wave off Ryujin’s and Yuna’s intrigued spluttering and continue on with, “I mean, sometimes we just…go get coffee, hang out, watch movies.”
“These just sound like paid dates.” Yuna points out, and you shrug.
“I mean, if he’s paying, he can ask me to do damn near anything, really,” you laugh, and Ryujin snickers.
“Well, we won’t hold you up, okay? Go get that bag!” she chirps, and you blink at her slowly.
“…Stop picking up lingo from TikTok,” you say as your final words before you bid them goodbye with a wave and head out of Yuna’s apartment to go meet up with Jaemin.
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“Whose pretty pussy is this?” Jaemin coos at you as he fucks into you, your legs over his shoulders as he presses you into the mattress.
“Yours, Jaemin,” you gasp loudly, and he shoots you that winning smile of his, turning his head to kiss your calf.
“No one fucks you like I do,” Jaemin grunts, cupping your chin with one hand and making eye contact with you. There’s an almost crazed look in his eyes, a wild energy that thrills you to your core. “No one could ever treat this pussy as good as I do.”
“No one,” you whimper in agreement, your mind slipping away as he thrusts into you. “Only you, Jaemin.”
“Love this pussy so much,” he mutters almost to himself, biting down on his bottom lip so hard you can see the pink skin of his lips surrounding his bite turning white. “Wanna keep you for myself—you’re all fucking mine.”
“‘M yours,” you mumble, slurring slightly as the pleasure clouds your brain. “Jaemin, I’m gonna—”
“Come for me, angel,” he urges, and you fall apart around him without waiting another moment, crying his name out loudly as your nails scratch uselessly at the bedsheets. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he groans, his head tipping back in ecstasy before his thrusts grow more erratic and finally come to a stop as he releases into the condom, ragged breaths leaving him. 
Jaemin looks down at your figure, bare skin glistening with sweat, your hair all mussed up, and a fucked-out look on your face, and thinks to himself that this must be heaven on Earth, the male never having felt luckier than he does right now.
He pulls out of you carefully, quickly discarding the condom in the bedside trash can, and collapses beside you on the bed, a silence falling over you two as you catch your breath and get your bearings.
As you’re lying there, Ryujin’s and Yuna’s words from earlier come back to you, and a question begins to itch at your throat, begging to be asked. After moments of debating, you bite the bullet and ask.
“Hey, Jaemin?” 
“Yeah?”
“How are you affording all these sessions? Aren’t you, like, a college student?” you ask curiously, and the silence that meets your question has you backtracking immediately. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s not my business—”
“I don’t mind answering,” Jaemin speaks up, and you turn your head to see that he’s already done the same, brown eyes studying your face. “I have money stashed away in my savings, pretty good credit, and my job doesn’t pay too badly.” he answers, and you nod slowly in understanding.
“I hope you’re not blowing your savings on me,” you chuckle, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the notion of him spending his savings on you.
“Don’t worry about me, angel,” he hums. “Besides,” he continues, nudging you gently with his elbow, “I think you’re worth more than every cent.”
Your face warms up at the compliment and you mumble a bashful thank you. “I just don’t want you to land yourself in hot water because of me.”
“Trust me, angel,” Jaemin assures you, “I’m doing perfectly fine.”
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So, Jaemin may have lied a bit.
A lot, actually.
Since meeting you, he’s fully blown through his savings—all $5,000 of it—royally fucked up his credit by maxing out his credit cards, borrowed far too much money from his older brother, and has now resorted to…is this embezzlement? Can you even embezzle a mom-and-pop shop? 
Jaemin has to admit that he feels a bit guilty, Mrs. Kim’s kind face flashing in his mind as he pockets several bills from the cash register. 
But it’s you, with those eyes, and that smile, and that laugh, and it’s you, with that sweet voice and the way you say his name, and—
It’s you.
And Jaemin would do anything for you. Even if it means making some fiscally irresponsible choices and committing a few reprehensible actions, he thinks as he navigates your booking website expertly and schedules another meeting with you for tomorrow afternoon. 
Maybe, Jaemin thinks, he’ll take you shopping. He saw you eying a pretty silver bracelet in the window of a jewelry shop when you were walking around together the other day. Maybe he’ll get it for you as a gift.
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The first time was an accident. Or at least that’s what Jaemin’s going with.
When he left the hotel room he’d rented for you two, he didn’t expect to see you still in the lobby, the picture of perfection as you look down at your phone, tapping at the screen. 
Jaemin conceals himself behind a passing bellhop and his cart when you lift your head up to look around, and it’s almost like a magnet pulls him after you when you exit the building. He makes sure to keep you at a distance, not wanting you to catch him watching you.
Jaemin watches as you walk down the street, slowly following after you. You’re so sweet, so innocent…so unaware.
Someone could just snatch you up and have you at their mercy in a second. 
So he’s protecting you. Or, at least, that’s what he’s going with.
Jaemin “protects” you on your walk, not even sure where you’re headed, but when he watches you fish out a set of keys and enter an apartment building, his body lights up with a thrill. 
You’re heading home. 
Jaemin very tentatively follows you into the large building and practically collapses with relief when you go to the mailboxes and take your mail out. He doesn’t find a way to justify following you up to your apartment, so he just…waits until the doors close on the elevator and walks over to your mailbox, looking at the unit number.
“Found you,” He sighs dreamily. If he inhales deeply enough, he can still smell your light fragrance in the air.
Now, the first time was an accident. The second time was a coincidence. 
The third, fourth, and fifth times were anything but. 
Jaemin follows you home after every single meeting you two have, evading detection every time. He swears up and down he’s protecting you, making sure no harm befalls you as you travel back to your place.
Sometimes, however, he catches himself entangled in a dark fantasy consisting of you and him and the lovely element of surprise and he can’t help but think that maybe he’s exactly who you would need protection from.
But he’s different, Jaemin thinks. He cares about you. He adores you. He…he loves you.
Plus, you make it too easy, he thinks. Never straying from your usual route home, never sparing a glance over your shoulder; it’s almost like you know he’s watching. Like you know he’s following your every move.
It’s almost like…you want him to follow you. Want him to engage in a little game of cat-and-mouse as he follows you—his prey—back to your place of safety and lies in wait to pounce. 
You’re playing with him, Jaemin thinks, because you must have feelings for him too. Hell, you might even love him back.
Jaemin makes up his mind the eighth time he follows you home; nothing is going to stop him from being with you.
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“Huh.” You pause when you step out of the elevator, the doors quietly shutting behind you.
“What’s wrong?” Ryujin asks, attempting to follow your gaze. “Oh, you have a package!”
“I don’t remember ordering anything, though,” you mumble, heading down the hallway to your front door. You check the package and sure enough, your first name is written on the small box.
“Well, are you gonna take it?” Ryujin watches you turn the package around in your hand.
“I mean…yeah, I guess.” You agree slowly, unlocking your door and heading into your apartment, Ryujin following after you. You set your bag down and immediately turn your attention to the package in your hand. You carefully and gingerly open the brown paper wrapping to reveal a small white box. You take the top off, revealing its interior, and gasp.
“What is it?” Ryujin asks, by your side in a moment as she looks into the box. “Holy shit.”
“Right?”
“That bracelet is beautiful,” Ryujin stammers, “not to mention how expensive it looks.”
You carefully take the silver tennis bracelet out of the box’s protective foam and stare at it in wonder. “It looks so familiar.”
“Put it on!” Ryujin encourages you with a nudge, and you nod dumbly, letting her fasten it around your wrist. You stare down at it in bewilderment, still having a hard time processing. “It looks so pretty on you,” she compliments, and you nod distractedly. It looks so familiar around your wrist—almost like you’ve worn it before. Your mind flashes with a memory and you freeze, staring down at the bracelet with wide eyes.
“Oh, my God.” You remember where you’ve seen it.
“What’s wrong?” Ryujin presses, looking from the bracelet to you.
You drop the box and step back from it as if it might bite you.
“I saw this during one of my appointments with Jaemin. We went to a jewelry store.” you recall slowly, apprehension trickling down your spine like ice cold water.
“Oh, okay! Why are you so nervous—wait a minute.” Ryujin goes still, and you nod encouragingly, hoping she makes the same deduction you just have.
“Do you think Jaemin bought it for you?” she asks, and you nod again, raising your eyebrows for emphasis. “But how did he get it—to your—oh, what the fuck—”
“Yeah, what the fuck?” you exclaim, and Ryujin waves her hands around as she silently tries to make sense of everything. “Does he—does he fucking know where I live or something?”
“How would he know where you live?” Ryujin asks in disbelief.
“I don’t know, but it got here somehow!” you whisper-yell, and she nods, her gaze drifting from your panicked eyes to the floor.
“There’s a note,” she points out, and you follow her gaze to the small slip of paper sticking out from under the foam in the box. You stoop to pick it up and blink down at the note.
“It’s just a heart,” you mutter, and Ryujin purses her lips thoughtfully.
“Damn. Was kinda hoping it’d have some sort of identifying information,” she mumbles, and you sigh.
“Me too,” you grumble, your mood souring. “Maybe,” you say hesitantly, “I should stop seeing Jaemin so much.”
“That sounds like a good plan,” Ryujin agrees, “at least until you figure out what’s going on.” 
You sigh in resignation. “Yeah. I hope this doesn’t end up blowing up in my face.”
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Something is off. 
Jaemin hasn’t seen you or spoken to you in eight consecutive days. When he looks at your booking website, your usual appointment slots are grayed out and unclickable. Every time he gets close to scheduling an appointment, it’s miraculously canceled and his money refunded, stating that there was a schedule conflict.
If that wasn’t enough, Jaemin has been attending your lives, and you haven’t given him any attention at all. He knows lives probably get overwhelming, especially when you have a large audience, but he doesn’t even get more than a thank you and a smile—a polite one, not the smile he’s come to adore—when he tips you.
He has no idea what’s going on, but his mind is reeling with possibilities, each more disastrous than the last.
You could be ignoring him. Avoiding him, possibly. 
You could be scheduling with other people. Letting other clients touch what’s his.
Jaemin bristles with anger. The thought of another person’s hands on you, their name leaving your lips in a moan of pleasure, your beautiful smile directed at someone that’s not him drives him into a fit of rage.
Thoughts and images of you with another person flash in his mind, tormenting him, and he clutches his head, pressing his fingers into his skin as hard as possible to offset the emotional pain he’s feeling with a more manageable physical pain.
You can’t be with anyone else. Jaemin loves you. He fucking loves you. He would do anything for you; he’s landed himself in financial hot water tipping you and booking appointments with you, he’s completely fucked academically from skipping classes and not turning in assignments in his attempt to spend as much time with you as possible, and this is how you treat him? Do you even care about him?
Jaemin cannot fucking breathe. He places a panicked hand over his heaving chest and struggles to regulate his inhales and exhales as he tries to calm himself down. His chest feels tight, constricted as he pants and he can feel his racing heartbeat pounding in his ears as his world caves in around him.
No, Jaemin thinks, that’s not possible. You wouldn’t do that to him. Not with what you two have together. 
Maybe it’s just a simple misunderstanding. Maybe you’re taking a break from in-person sessions for a bit. 
Repeating the words in his head like a mantra, Jaemin can finally breathe again.
He misses you, though. Thankfully you’re going live tonight, and he can see you that way.
Sure enough, you go live at midnight like clockwork, a vision in a pretty pale blue dress, and Jaemin feels his heart swelling at the sight of you. A glance at your wrists has his heart about to burst with joy; you’re wearing the bracelet he bought you.
“Hi, everybody,” you greet sweetly, waving at the camera. “How is everyone feeling tonight?” 
Responses start coming in the chat and Jaemin just sits back, waiting for a lull so he can send his message and not have it swept up in the flurry of rapidly incoming messages and ultimately ignored.
As he expected, the replies taper off in a moment, and he sends his message.
NaJaem13: lonely. bored.
He watches your eyes scan the replies as you respond to individual users, his heart rate picking up in excitement when you read the response right above his. 
“Sorry to hear you’re bored, NaJaem13,” you hum softly, and hearing your voice say his name—well, part of it—and watching your lips shape the syllables has his heart soaring. “Hopefully I can change that!” 
He tips you 100 tokens, and the smile on your lips as you thank him is more than worth it.
NiceGuy19: r u seeing anyone? boyfriend, girlfriend, etc
You read the question out hesitantly, and Jaemin’s chest swells with pride as he’s confident you’ll allude to what you two have going on—
“No, NiceGuy19, I am very much single.” You smile, the expression not quite reaching your eyes, and Jaemin freezes.
You’re single? What the fuck?
Loverboy01: haha so i have a chance
You let out a small laugh at the comment as you read it aloud before giving a small nod. “You do,” you agree. 
Jaemin’s eye twitches. Maybe you’re keeping what you two have private…out of respect for the relationship. There’s only one problem with that.
Jaemin doesn’t want you to keep it private. As a matter of fact, Jaemin’s not so sure he wants to share you with anyone anymore.
His fingers trace along the trackpad, a few clicks, and he’s booking you for a private show. There’s a moment in which nothing happens, Jaemin waiting with bated breath for you to accept.
Your eyes drift away from the camera, looking distracted for a split second, and Jaemin smiles.
You saw his request.
You clear your throat and click something before fixing your hair slightly and continuing to read comments. A window pops up on Jaemin’s screen and he reads it eagerly.
PL4YG1RL is not available for a private show at this time.
Jaemin’s smile drops. 
You saw his request…and declined it. There goes that tightening in his chest, that feeling of his throat closing up, and he can’t contain his frustration.
He has to talk to you; he has to see you in person and get an explanation for all of this. He’ll wait until your live is over, then he’ll go see you and figure out what’s going on because, honestly, Jaemin feels like his heart’s about to split into two.
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You’re startled awake by three insistent knocks on your front door, not expecting any visitors at this hour. 
What even is “this hour,” anyway? What time is it? 
You look over at your clock on your dresser and your eyes widen at the displayed time of 4:17 that blinks back at you.
Who the hell could be knocking on the door at this hour?
You get out of bed, donning the robe on the back of your bedroom door and wrapping the fabric around your body, and make your way to your front door as three more knocks sound out.
You peek through the peephole and your blood runs cold at the sight of Jaemin standing there, an unmistakable frown on his face.
You open the door and stare at him in disbelief, saying nothing. His eyes widen when he sees you and he sighs in relief, a smile beginning to curl his lips.
“You answered,” he exhales. 
“Jaemin?” You ask carefully, and his smile slowly drops in favor of a distressed expression as he starts to speak.
“I saw your live tonight and—”
“Jaemin?” 
“You said you weren’t seeing anyone—”
“Jaemin.” 
“You’ve been avoiding me too, I know you saw my private show request—”
You just blink at him, in disbelief.
“What about all the time we’ve spent together?” He looks like he wants to say more, but holds his tongue at the last moment. Looking into his eyes chills you to your core; past the hurt swimming in his dark irises, there’s something desperate and unnerving about his gaze. You don’t miss the way his eyes rove over your figure with an unmistakable hunger, his gaze no longer exciting you like it did before. Now, you feel vulnerable, wanting to shift your weight to your other foot but not wanting to show your discomfort.
“Are you done now?” You ask slowly.
He nods.
“Jaemin,” you say, making sure to keep your voice level, “how do you know where I live?”
He balks at your question, only worsening your nerves as you swallow what feels like a thick lump in your throat.
“What about us?” he croaks out, and you can’t hide your incredulity quickly enough.
“Jaemin,” you sigh, “there isn’t anything going on between us.” Jaemin flinches like you’ve slapped him, eyes wide and wounded. “I do this for a living.”
“What about that time I asked if I could see you again and you said that it was ‘up to me,’ with that teasing little smile?” he presses, and you pinch the bridge of your nose, breathing deeply.
“I meant that literally.” you explain, in awe at how far away from reality his mind has carried him. “If you wanted to see me again, you would have to book me.”
“But—I—I love you,” he confesses, stepping closer to you. He doesn’t miss the way you step back slightly, shrinking further into the safety of your apartment.
“Jaemin, I’m so sorry, but…” you say sincerely, feeling bad for him despite your apprehension about the whole situation. “I don’t feel that way about you.”
The way his face crumples into devastation has you wincing internally, your sympathetic nature pushing forward as you struggle with whether or not to comfort him. He hangs his head for a second and you look away to give him some privacy. 
You remember, taking in his broad frame and how it practically fills up your doorway, that he never did mention how he found out where you live, and you slowly tense up again, also recalling how he’d blatantly dodged the question.
Just as fear trickles down your spine as you realize Jaemin knows far more about you than you’re comfortable with, he sucks in a ragged breath and jolts you out of your thoughts. You look back at his face and he slowly lifts his head, revealing an expression so deeply hollow that you wish you’d never looked in the first place, let alone answered the door. 
You’re regretting every interaction you’ve had with Jaemin, frankly, because clearly he’s gotten the wrong idea, and now this emotionless, dead-eyed man in your doorway is honestly scaring the fuck out of you.
He sniffs once and when he speaks, his voice is every bit as flat and hollow as his face, completely impassive. “So you don’t feel anything towards me.” 
You hesitate, nibbling your bottom lip nervously as you try to smooth the situation over. He raises an eyebrow expectantly, and you can feel your heartbeat pick up in pace as he stares you down with growing impatience.
“No,” you finally eke out, and he sighs, anger briefly flashing on his face before the hollow look returns, only to be replaced with a dazzling smile that doesn’t reach your eyes as he nods in understanding. “I’m sorry.”
He holds a hand up to silence you, nodding in understanding. “It’s alright.”
“Are…we done here?” You ask tentatively, not trusting your voice to conceal the tremble past a whisper.
“Yeah.” He smiles, waving you off dismissively. “Have a good night.” 
“You too.” You wave cautiously, and he starts walking away from your apartment. You watch as he calls the elevator and gets in, waiting for the doors to slide shut before you practically collapse in relief, quickly closing your front door, locking both locks, and leaning against the door as you try to control your racing heart.
You’ve never seen Jaemin’s smile so void of any sincerity—it looked more like he was baring his teeth at you than actually smiling. Reality sets in, crushing your shoulders as you come to terms with two unnerving truths.
The first truth being that Jaemin knows where you live.
The second being that you didn’t tell him.
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You’re heading out to the grocery store from Ryujin’s apartment, having decided to stay with her for a while until you feel safe returning home to your place. 
Looking into your purse for your shopping list, you hear footsteps behind you, your senses lighting up in panic, and you whip your head around to look behind you only to see a woman and her child walking past you. She shoots you a friendly smile, and you return it, relief coursing through you. 
“You’re being paranoid,” you mumble to yourself, grabbing the shopping list and looking it over briefly. As you walk to the store, you can’t help but notice the sense of danger your body’s picking up on. 
Something feels off, and you don’t know what it is.
Now jumpy with nerves, you pick up your pace, glancing over your shoulder periodically as you practically speed walk to the store. 
The first glance, you see nothing but the road behind you.
A car pulls up behind you and you whirl around, but the car pulls up to the curb and parks. A breath of relief escapes you, and you keep walking.
The third glance behind you rewards you with nothing, and at this point you’re pretty sure you’re jumpy for no reason, half-chuckling to yourself. 
Almost out of habit now, you look over your shoulder for a fourth time, still finding no one, and you turn forward only to collide with someone’s chest, apologies immediately spilling out from your lips.
“So sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” you stammer as you steady yourself, and the chuckle you hear makes you freeze, your heart gripped with terror.
You know that chuckle.
You look up in a panic, a loud gasp escaping you at the sight of Jaemin’s wide smile. He doesn’t stand still for long, swiftly moving behind you and clamping a rag over your mouth and nose as you wriggle in panic, letting out muffled shrieks and screams. 
Your mind races—how could he get away with this in the middle of the day? Where is everyone?—and whatever’s on the rag fills your lungs with every panicked inhale you suck in. 
Hold your breath. Fight back.
You reach to claw at Jaemin’s arms, but his jacket sleeves block your every move. As he holds the rag to your face, he works to lock your arms behind your back, his actions hindered by your defensive attacks as you reach behind you, praying your nails can make contact with his face, neck, something—
One of your blind swipes collides with the side of his face, a low grunt leaving him, and you move to hit him again, this time aiming with your nails— 
You can’t hold your breath any longer, adrenaline coursing through you and making your breathing pick up.
The rag is soaking wet, the smell of the liquid slightly sweet as it drips down your neck and onto your shirt. Jaemin dodges your attacks directed at his face and manages to catch one of your wrists, aided by the rag over your mouth which makes every one of your limbs feel like it’s filled with wet sand.
Your free hand drops uselessly to your side, and Jaemin grabs it, a faint sound of metal clinking before cool metal rings—handcuffs?—close around your wrists.
The fabric of the rag is coarse against your face, and it’s one of the last things you can focus on as you feel your composure slipping away, your muscles going slack, eyes drooping shut—
“You should be more careful,” Jaemin murmurs, starting to drag your limp body with him. As your mind finally slips away, your body losing its fight, the last thing you hear is a chuckle from Jaemin, the sound far more sinister than earlier, and his final words. 
“You could get hurt.”
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When you open your eyes, you see a white ceiling. 
A look to the left of you, and you see a window, moonlight painting the floor in streaks.
To your right, you see a mahogany dresser, a matching nightstand, and a door, cracked open to reveal an en suite bathroom.
Your mind is swimming as you try to piece together everything going on—you were walking to the store—you ran into someone—Jaemin, you ran into Jaemin. You remember something cold, wet, and sweet on your face—and then, nothing. 
Your arms and shoulders ache, and you wiggle your fingers experimentally, numb digits digging into your lower back—are those handcuffs? 
Panic sets in as you realize that you’ve been abducted—in the middle of the day, no less—and you have no idea what’s going on.
What does Jaemin want with you? 
Where are you? What time is it?
Has Ryujin noticed that you’re gone? Is she looking for you, perhaps?
Hell, can she even find you?
How the hell are you going to get out of—
“You’re awake,” Jaemin’s voice from out of nowhere makes you yelp, your eyes darting around to find him until you look straight ahead to see him standing in the doorway. 
“You fought back more than I expected,” he hums thoughtfully, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.
“Yeah, people don’t tend to like being chloroformed and dragged away.” You can’t help but be bitter and, really, who could blame you?
“You made it difficult,” he defends himself, frowning. You stare at him incredulously, saying nothing. “Hiding at your friend’s house—do you know how confused I was when you weren’t coming into or out of your building?” 
“You waited outside of my building? How did you find out where I live?”
“I may have followed you home a couple of times,” he admits sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“You—a couple of times—oh, my God. Did you send this bracelet?” you splutter, shaking your wrist holding the piece of jewelry.
“I did,” he announces proudly. “And you’re wearing it; it looks so beautiful on you.”
“Jaemin,” you say slowly, “what was the purpose of kidnapping me? What do you want?”
Jaemin frowns. “I just want us to be together.”
“Jaemin, how many times do I have to tell you that all of our interactions were because of my job?” you complain, yanking uselessly at the handcuffs binding your wrists. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way.”
“You will.” His reply is simple but unnerving in its simplicity. He leans over you and unlocks the handcuffs restraining you, smiling when you tentatively rub your wrists. “Better?”
“W-Why did you do that?” you ask, half-hoping he’s had a moment of guilty conscience, but his response chills you to the bone.
“I want you to struggle.” 
The worst part is how bright his eyes are when he says it. He’s eyeing you like you’re the eighth wonder of the world, his gaze dropping to scan your body for an uncomfortably long moment, before he looks back up at you, his gaze now hungry and desiring.
“Jaemin—Jaemin, please, you don’t have to—” You stammer, scooting back against the headboard as he moves closer to you with his head cocked curiously.
“I know, angel,” he replies, leaning closer with a widening grin when you have nowhere to go. He wraps his fingers around your ankle and yanks you—hard—so you’re pulled closer to him. “I want to.”
“Jaemin—” Your voice cracks as tears sting your eyes. “I don’t want—”
“You will,” he shushes you, having the audacity to sound comforting. “It’s gonna feel so good,” he purrs, unbuttoning your jeans and pulling the zipper down. He peels your jeans down and off your legs painstakingly slowly, the sound of the garment hitting the floor making you flinch. “So jumpy,” he snickers, and you have half a mind to send your knee crashing into his jaw. 
You refrain because, ultimately, it won’t do anything besides make him angry. Even if you managed to run away, you have no idea where you are and he’d probably catch you before you had a chance to get your bearings.
“Screw you,” you spit out instead, and Jaemin wiggles his eyebrows with a suggestive grin.
“You will.” He stares you down with darkened eyes, evoking a shudder from deep within your body. The corners of his lips quirk upwards in a smug grin, and he slides his hands up your bare legs, slowly parting your thighs with ease even though you fight to keep them closed. “Let’s play a game,” Jaemin hums excitedly. “We’re going to play together for a bit and then we’re going to take these,” he muses, snapping the band of your underwear against your skin and relishing the way you jolt, “off. If your body likes what I’m doing to it, we’re going to keep playing.”
“Oh, God,” you whimper, closing your eyes tightly. Jaemin’s hand cups your chin hard and he shakes your head from side to side roughly, forcing you to look at him with an affronted glare.
“Look at me.” Jaemin demands, his eyes hard as he arches a brow in warning. You balk under his stern gaze. “Don’t look away from me. Understand?”
You nod tentatively. Jaemin smiles, the disapproval from earlier gone without a trace.
“That’s my good girl,” he praises you warmly, and your stomach curls in disgust.
He’s sick. He’s lost his fucking mind.
You watch Jaemin cautiously as he moves to sit beside you on the bed, propping his back up against the headboard. He pulls you until you’re straddling his lap, your face burning with shame as you struggle to keep your eyes on him like he ordered.
His hands glide and down up your sides and he squeezes your hips with a low groan, guiding your movements so you’re rocking back and forth on his lap, your clit occasionally rubbing against his clothed erection through the thin fabric of your underwear and the thicker fabric of his sweats.
“Doesn’t that feel good, baby?” Jaemin coos sweetly against your lips, pushing forward to kiss you. It takes everything in you not to bite his lip or his tongue when he pushes it into your mouth. “Kiss me like you mean it.” His voice is still light, but the warning in his tone is evident, and you whimper in defeat when he swirls his tongue around yours, pulling it back only to suck on your tongue. 
He’s drawing all your attention to your mouth and your core as he stimulates both, leaving you so disoriented that you don’t even notice one hand sneaking up your shirt until his cold fingers graze your stomach, making you jolt away from his touch.
“So cute,” he mumbles fondly into the kiss, and you could almost swear you feel bile rising in your throat. 
You’re not sure if you’re angrier with him or with yourself as your body reacts to the sensations of Jaemin kissing down to your neck and sucking at the sensitive skin there. It’s hardly your fault, you think—Jaemin’s advantage is that he already knows how to please you, and you’re defenseless against his touch.
His hand under your shirt slips to your back and unclasps your bra, returning to the front and worming its way under the lacy fabric to pinch your nipple, tweaking it between his fingers. You jerk away from him, and his free hand clutches the back of your neck, his iron-clad grip pinning you in place. He pulls back from your neck to shoot you a warning glare that chills your blood before slowly returning his lips to your skin, sucking and licking as he traces circles around your stiffening peak.
His lips trail kisses, hot and wet, down your neck to your collarbones and both hands tug your shirt over your head, discarding it to the side and returning to your body to cup your breasts. You flinch at his touch, Jaemin chuckling with sadistic amusement before groping your breasts freely, tugging and squeezing your nipples until you let out defeated moans of pleasure.
His lips kiss lower and lower still until he’s leaning you back so he can angle himself forward to envelop your nipple in his mouth. The sucking sensation is regrettably arousing and it takes all of your focus and willpower not to make any noises. Your hands push at his toned chest, firm muscles unyielding under your touch, and Jaemin just laughs, the vibrations sending another pang of pleasure down between your legs. 
Your pushing grows more and more determined until you actually manage to push hard enough to detach his mouth from your chest. Jaemin, it seems, grows tired of your retaliation and forces your hands behind you, gripping your wrists in one large hand and pushing them into the small of your back so you’re forced into a deeper arch. He nuzzles in the space between your breasts and leaves sloppy kisses along the skin there before moving to swirl his tongue around your nipple, flicking it with the tip and grinning when you inhale abruptly, your breath hitching when he nips at the bud with his teeth.
He alternates between your breasts, kissing, sucking, and licking to his heart’s content as you whimper in protest, incapable of wriggling away from his mouth. 
After a moment of Jaemin’s relentless mouth on your nipples, he looks up at you, releasing your nipple with a wet pop, and reconnects your lips, squeezing your wrists together hard when you refuse to part your lips for his tongue.
He smacks your ass once, the flesh stinging from the impact, and you yelp in pain, Jaemin’s tongue slipping into your unprotected mouth and playing with yours languidly, leisurely, like he has all the time in the world.
“You know,” he mumbles, still kissing you, “what I want?” When you don’t answer, he sighs, almost in disappointment, and smacks your ass again, ignoring your pained cry. “Answer me.”
“What,” you mutter bitterly through gritted teeth, “do you want, Jaemin?”
“I want…to feel you ride my lap,” he answers with a wicked grin, and you groan in complaint as he grabs at your hip with his free hand and guides you into a repetitive rocking motion against his clothed cock, which you can feel hardening with every drag of your hips.
His lips attach themselves to your neck, his hand leaving your hip and massaging your breasts, flicking at your nipples lightly. Your movements halt almost instantly, and he raises an eyebrow up at you expectantly, looking pointedly at where your bodies meet.
When you stubbornly refuse to move, his gaze hardens and he grips your jaw, squeezing hard enough to evoke a whimper from you.
“Keep. Moving.”
You two stare each other down for a moment and Jaemin raises both eyebrows as if to say, “is that so?” You falter at the thought of whatever punishment he has in mind and slowly resume your grinding motions, averting your gaze. It feels like your soul withers when you hear his satisfied hum and his lips return to your skin, kissing and sucking at where your neck and shoulder meet.
His head lolls back for a moment, eyes shutting as he lets out a low groan of bliss, and your movements start to slow again as you feel the insuppressible tugging sensation of pleasure in the pit of your belly.
He opens his eyes to stare at you through a heavy-lidded gaze, silently ordering you to keep moving, and you start to panic, knowing all too well that when he goes to check if you’re wet, he’s going to see that you irrefutably are.
“Jaemin, can we please stop—”
“No.”
“But—but I’m gonna c—” 
“Of course you are.” Jaemin speaks to you slowly, as if you’re stupid. “What do you think the point of this was?”
Your heart falls at your realization that he probably intended to make you climax this whole time, rigging the “game” he’d set up. You can’t help but feel stupid for not knowing that this was his plan the whole time; he kidnapped you and you really expected him to keep his word?
His lips drag you out of your spiral of hopelessness when they drag against the spot just behind your ear, and you keen desperately, wishing for anything at all to save you from this.
Of course, no such miracle comes, and your body curls in on itself as you climax, your hips bucking against his lap. You bite your lip so hard to keep from moaning that you’re surprised you don’t bleed, but Jaemin’s gleefully satisfied expression is every bit as disappointing as any noise you could have made.
He waits until your body has calmed down from your climax, watching with fascination as you both succumb to the pleasure and try with all your might to ignore it, to speak.
“You know, I think we’ve been playing for long enough,” Jaemin hums, snaking a hand between your bodies and inching it painfully slowly down your stomach.
He’s prolonging the inevitable just to torture you, and you sigh in resignation, the sound catching in your throat as you hold back defeated tears.
After what feels like ages, his hand finally reaches its destination, long fingers stroking over the damp spot of your underwear as he gasps ostentatiously. “What’s this?” His eyes flicker between his hand between your legs and your face with a devilish grin, and you let out a broken whimper.
“Nothing,” you lie, and he raises an eyebrow skeptically.
“Oh, yeah?” He slips his fingers into your underwear and you reluctantly hiss at the sensation, angling your hips away from him. “Doesn’t feel like nothing,” he teases, grinning as he strokes along your slick folds.��
You move to argue, but he presses his lips to yours, his tongue snaking its way into your mouth even as you whine in protest. Jaemin grins against your lips as he withdraws his fingers from your underwear and displays them to you proudly, the digits glistening with your arousal.
“Looks like we get to keep playing, angel,” he murmurs, and your heart falls. “C’mere,” he urges you, dragging your reluctant body off his lap and lying you down on the bed on your back. 
“Jaemin, please? Please don’t—oh, God—” you stammer as he parts your legs, reflexively clamping them shut again, and Jaemin raises an eyebrow in warning.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” His voice is low and threatening, and a chill runs down your spine as his grip on your knee tightens noticeably and his eyes lose the playful glint. When you relax your muscles, Jaemin smiles brightly and spreads your legs apart. “Good girl. Now relax,” he purrs, running his hands up your inner thighs and chuckling at the tremor of revulsion that travels through your body, “Nana just wants a taste.”
He pulls your underwear down and off your legs painfully slowly, as if he’s rubbing the moment in your face, and you can’t help but let out a choked sob of defeat, wanting so badly to look away but fearing his reaction if you do.
“Sound so pretty when you cry,” Jaemin coos, spreading your legs wider once the thin garment covering your core is tossed carelessly onto the floor. He tucks himself between your legs, and you inch away from him as subtly as possible, crying out when he wraps one muscular arm over your hips and yanks you towards his mouth with ease. “Don’t run from me.”
You’ve been holding back tears for so long, not wanting to give him the satisfaction, but when he leans down and his tongue makes contact with your core, the dam breaks—tears, hot and fat and wet, trail down your cheeks, and you can’t help but sniffle pathetically.
“That’s it, just let it happen, angel,” Jaemin hums, licking up your folds, his tongue collecting your arousal, and he looks you directly in the eyes when his lips wrap around your clit, sucking the sensitive bud and flicking it back and forth with the tip of his tongue. “Taste so fucking good…and it’s all for me.”
His tongue flicks and swirls around your clit languidly and your core drips arousal as he teases his fingers at your entrance, pushing two in slowly to the first knuckle, and you cover your face in an attempt to muffle the reluctant moan of pleasure that slips out from his attentive actions.
“Come on, Playgirl,” Jaemin taunts, “I wanna hear you moan like you did all those other times we’ve been together.” He pushes his fingers into you and you gasp, one hand leaving your face to clutch at the bedsheets, and you shake your head vigorously.
“Jaemin, that was my job,” you desperately explain, but your futile attempt to save yourself falls on unsympathetic ears, and he looks up from between your legs, his lips glistening with a mix of his saliva and your wetness.
“Well, now your job is to convince me to let you live.” He raises both eyebrows as he regards you, but an ice cold panic takes over your whole body at his words. 
Would he seriously try to kill you? 
You don’t even notice how your breathing has picked up until your chest is heaving with panic and Jaemin reaches up, pressing between your breasts to flatten you to the bed.
“Relax,” he sighs, “I won’t hurt you if you’re good for me.” He watches you intently as resignation settles in your chest, cold and heavy, before pressing a kiss to your inner thigh. “Good girl,” he praises. He returns his attention to your core, curling his fingers inside of you and pumping them in and out of you as he wraps his lips around your clit and hums contently, sending vibrations through the sensitive bud and making your back arch.
A moan forces its way out of your lips, your face burning with shame as you feel your body succumbing to the pleasure. 
“It feels good, yeah?” Jaemin asks, continuing when you don’t respond, “I know it feels good,” he coos teasingly, “because your pussy keeps clenching around my fingers.”
You refrain from swearing at him, instead shuddering with unwanted pleasure when he angles his fingers just right and his fingertips press into your g-spot, and Jaemin’s eyes light up with glee.
“Gotcha,” he mumbles, a triumphant grin on his face as he thrusts his fingers into you, repeatedly stimulating your most sensitive spot along your inner walls, and moans spill from your lips uncontrollably, the pleasure too much to bear.
“You’re gonna cum, aren’t you, angel?” Jaemin asks with a smug grin, and you shake your head vigorously even as your eyes roll back into your head and your back arches off of the bed with another skillful thrust of his fingers. “Yes, you are,” he says, ignoring your denial and reattaching his mouth to your core, rapidly flicking your clit with his tongue. 
To your dismay, you are about to cum, your impending orgasm building up in your stomach even as you desperately try to will it away. Broken pants escape you as the pleasure grows, and when you finally climax, you whimper loudly, your eyes shutting tightly as fat tears force their way out and down your temples to melt into the pillow under your head.
“That’s a good girl.” Jaemin presses wet kisses to the insides of your thighs, his lips traveling higher up your body until they’re pressing against yours forcefully, the taste of your arousal on his tongue as it slips between your lips. His kiss is all-consuming, Jaemin emitting grunts and pants of desire while his hand reaches between you two. After a moment passes of his hand not touching you, you move to break the kiss in confusion, only to feel the head of his cock rubbing up and down your folds, collecting your arousal.
“Jaemin—no—fuck, Jaemin, please—” you plead, putting all your strength into pushing him away from you. His eyes light up with excitement at the new challenge you’ve presented and he swats your hands away with ease as you push and shove at his chest, a growing smile on his face as you push yourself out from under him, scooting up towards the headboard.
“That’s it, angel,” he coaxes you, nodding encouragingly as you push his shoulders to get him away from you. “Push a little harder, yeah, just like that.” He’s coaching you through fighting him off, you realize, and what little hope you may have had all but drains from you as you let out a choked sob and close your legs as tightly as you can. 
“Jaemin, at least put a condom on—” you manage to get out through panicked breaths, and he cocks his head to the side in confusion.
“Why would I do that?” Jaemin snickers, placing one hand on your leg and forcing his hand between your knees, yanking your legs apart with a grunt and shoving himself between your thighs once more. “I want us to feel every inch of each other, angel.”
Before you can protest again, he tucks your knees to your chest, draping your legs over his shoulders, and drags you back down to him. He pins your arms above your head and coos down at you in mock sympathy as he pushes into you slowly.
“Oh, my God,” you gasp, your body trembling under the weight of your yet-to-be-shed tears. Jaemin bottoms out inside of you with a low, content moan and turns his head to kiss your calf before leaning down to bring his lips to your ear.
“Love filling you up with my cock,” he purrs in your ear and you can only hiccup from the force of trying not to cry. “Does that feel good, hm? Having me fill your tight little pussy up?” When you shake your head vigorously, Jaemin tuts disapprovingly. “Lying isn’t going to help you.”
The worst part of it all, you think, is that it does feel good. He’s been with you enough at this point to know exactly what you like as he pulls out and thrusts back into you, slowly, making sure you feel every single inch and ridge of his length.
He fucks into you slowly but with powerful snaps of his hips, moans falling from your lips whether you like it or not, and he presses your legs against your chest even harder, uncaring about the ache it sends shooting up your legs. 
You can’t even dwell on the discomfort because he keeps driving his hips into yours, fucking you into a stupor that you couldn’t snap out of if you tried.
“I know you love when I fuck you,” he coos, and when you cry out in protest, he just laughs. “Your body won’t lie to me.” He pouts. “I can feel you clenching around me and you’re so fucking wet, I could almost slip out. I bet you’re about to cum already, aren’t you?”
He’s right, unfortunately, and you can only nod and whimper, not sure if you’re asking him to release you or let you finish.
He reaches between you two and massages your clit in quick circles, eyes flashing with triumph when your back arches and you climax with a breathless whine and repeated moans of “No, no, no.”
“Gonna cum, angel,” he pants, his brow furrowing as he speeds up his thrusts. “Gonna fill you up with my cum,” he grunts, and your eyes widen as the fight returns to your system. You writhe under him in an attempt to free yourself, but Jaemin just laughs uncaringly and sits up slightly to grip your squirming hips and push you further into the mattress. 
He’s stronger than you could ever manage to overcome, and his actions render you immobile, your legs still flailing under him as your hands push at his chest.
“Jaemin, don’t cum inside of me,” you plead, bucking your hips uselessly, but he just moans, fucking into you harder.
“Gonna make you mine,” he purrs, his grip on your hips tightening uncomfortably as he ignores your every protest. “All fucking mine.” His thrusts become slower and almost impossibly deeper before he bottoms out in you with a low groan and releases into you, a pleased shudder leaving him as his length throbs within your walls.
All you can do is cry bitterly at how betrayed you feel by your body and how shame burns in you like an inferno, and you cover your face with your hands in resignation, not moving them even when Jaemin attempts to pull them away. 
He sucks his teeth in annoyance and his grip tightens around your wrists as he wrenches your hands from over your face, his lips on yours immediately as he tastes the salt of your tears, a delighted hum rumbling in his throat.
“You’re all mine now, angel,” he breathes into the kiss. “No one’s ever going to separate us.”
“I want to go home,” you whimper, and he shushes you with the demeanor of a comforting lover, despite the truth being far from the situation.
“You are home,” Jaemin coos.
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Being abducted is, as you probably could have guessed, a nightmare.
Jaemin has the audacity to be sweet and kind to you by talking to you sweetly, serving you (admittedly) good food, and telling you sweet nothings everyday—while he has you handcuffed to the bed. He lets you wear his clothes, although you suspect that’s more for him than it is for you. Sometimes, if he’s feeling generous, he’ll attach one of your handcuffs to a chain so you can roam the room as freely as one can in an eight foot radius.
He hasn’t touched you since the day he abducted you; he says he’ll wait for you to get adjusted this time. He also leaves you alone a startling amount, but you figure that would track for a normal college student; however, nothing about this is normal, so there’s that.
Your chance comes when he leaves you to go to work one day—you think it’s Tuesday, but the days are honestly starting to blur together so you’re not sure—and leaves a drawer open in the nightstand in his haste to get there on time. 
Your cursory peek into it reveals a few unimportant items but one stands out to you. 
A paperclip. 
You don’t know very much about lock picking apart from reading one WikiHow link on it a while ago, and there isn’t a lot of room for trial and error, so you really only have one good shot at it. 
Today Jaemin felt kind enough to use the chain as opposed to handcuffing you to the bedpost, and you thank the universe that you have just enough room to reach the drawer, jostling its contents so the paperclip can slide closer to you.
“Come on, come on, come on,” you mutter anxiously.
The paperclip slides towards your hand and you snatch it immediately, sitting up and bending it into the shape you vaguely remember seeing in the WikiHow article. Unfortunately, your mind blanks after that one step, so you just feed the end of the makeshift lock picker into the keyhole for the handcuffs, carefully twisting it this way and that. 
It takes a grueling amount of time in which you fear the paperclip might break, but the small metal utensil thankfully stays intact the whole time, and you could cry with relief when there’s a click and the pressure on your wrist loosens considerably. 
“Oh, my God,” you half-gasp, half-laugh. You spring to your feet, wobbling slightly as you get acclimated to standing up and moving again. You don’t have much time, you’re sure, so you sneak out of the door and steal down the hallway and stairs, rushing out of the front door and not caring to lock it behind you.
You’re not wearing shoes, clad only in socks, and the concrete of the pavement feels cold and rough under your feet, making it harder to run away as you would have preferred.
You’re walking down the street, praying to see a landmark that helps you get your bearings, when you hear the blip of a police car. 
You’re saved.
You’re running before you even realize it, the impact of your poorly covered soles on the concrete sending sparks of pain up your legs, waving your arms wildly at the car as it approaches, and it slows to a stop, a relieved sob escaping you as you run up to the cop’s window. 
“Officer, please help me—I’ve been kidnapped—I don’t know where I am—I don’t know where to go—” you stammer breathlessly, and the officer raises a hand to silence you, looking at you with curious eyes.
“You’ve been kidnapped?” he murmurs, brows knitting together in a confused sort of surprise. 
You nod vigorously. “His name is Jaemin,” you explain in a rush of words, “Na Jaemin.”
“Okay, let’s head to the precinct and I can get your report there,” the officer explains. He’s got a very handsome face, you can’t help but think. He smiles for the first time, and you feel at ease instantly, his smile kind and warm with two dimples to go with it.
“Okay,” you agree immediately. 
“You have to ride in the back of the cop car,” he explains, stepping out of the vehicle and opening the back door for you. He’s fairly tall, and his badge glints in the sunlight, making it hard for you to read his name. “It’s policy.”
You nod in understanding and get into the backseat, strapping yourself in and scanning the car curiously. There’s a clear divider between the front and backseat and you watch the cop’s side profile as he starts the car and drives off. 
You’ve been riding for a while before you realize.
“Um, officer?”
“Mm?”
“Is this the way to the precinct?” you ask carefully, studying the side of his face for any sign of a tell.
“We’re going exactly where you need to go,” he answers, and you can’t help but notice with an unsettling jolt that he didn’t answer your question. As he speaks, he passes a house you definitely remember passing when you escaped, and all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
You think frantically about what could be going on, and it hits you all at once.
Jaemin mentioned having a brother. Who’s a cop. You found this officer in the area of Jaemin’s place. 
“Officer, I don’t think I ever got your name.”
He doesn’t answer, only heightening your suspicions. The coincidences are too much to let slide, so you quietly reach for the door handle when he pulls up to a red light. There’s a muted click as the door handle fails to open the door, and the officer speaks.
“You can’t open the back doors from the inside.”
Which, yeah, makes sense, but the way he sounds when he says it takes you by surprise. He sounds smug almost, almost teasing.
You sit back quietly, your voice dejected when you speak next. 
“We’re not going to the precinct, are we?” 
“I think you know the answer to that,” he replies easily, and you rest your cheek against the cold window in defeat, trying as hard as you can not to cry; you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.
When the car finally rolls to a stop, you look out the window in resignation, your gaze dull and broken when you lock eyes with Jaemin, who’s standing on the sidewalk in front of his house.
“You should lock this one up more carefully next time,” the officer scolds Jaemin lightly, and Jaemin nods with a smile at him before looking at you with a hurt frown. 
“I was being so nice to you,” he complains, and you scoff under your breath, sliding your gaze away from him. He opens your door and, when you don’t move, sighs before he reaches in to unstrap your seatbelt and pull you out of the car. “Oh, by the way, this is my brother Jaehyun.”
“Nice to meet you,” Jaehyun replies dryly, raising his eyebrow at you.
You don’t reply.
“Same mother, different fathers,” Jaemin goes on to explain. “Hence the different last names.”
“Jaemin, I really don’t care,” you say honestly, and he frowns at you.
“Don’t hurt my feelings.” He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in closer to him, kissing the top of your head. “Thanks, Jaehyun. See you!”
Jaehyun raises two fingers to his forehead in a mock salute before he’s driving off. 
“I think I’m going to have to revoke your roaming privileges.” Jaemin hums with an air of disappointment as he leads you back into the house.
You wish you could revoke his life at this point.
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It’s another day being held in Jaemin’s room and you’re lazily watching the television that Jaemin put on for you before going to work, eyes practically glazing over with boredom before you change the channel. It’s harder to reach the remote with your hands zip tied in front of you, but you manage to make it work.
You flip through channels absentmindedly, but stop immediately once you hear your name coming from the screen.
You flip back a couple of channels until you land on the local news, which is in the process of going through your Missing Person report. 
“Holy shit,” you say breathlessly, watching as they display a picture of you on screen. “They’re looking for me.”
Your best friends Ryujin and Yuna come on screen next, Yuna in tears and Ryujin looking pissed as she talks to the newscaster.
“She doesn’t just up and disappear, something happened to her, I know it.” Ryujin says vehemently. She looks directly into the camera and you feel goosebumps raise on your body at how determined she looks. “We’re going to find you. Don’t worry.” 
“I love them,” you mumble sadly before sitting up slightly. Knowing that someone is looking for you fills you with hope and a resolve you didn’t have before. 
You’re getting out of here.
You stare down at the zip tie around your wrists and think about how to get out. You bring it to your mouth and start to nibble at the thick plastic, praying this works. Your jaw aches as you work away at the zip tie, but you can feel it starting to separate, giving you more hope.
You have no idea how long you have so you stop nibbling halfway through the tie and sit up as straight as possible, twisting the tie around and yanking your wrists apart forcefully. It takes several tries and you’re just about to give up before you yank one last time with all of the frustration and anger you have in your body and the tie snaps apart. 
“Holy shit,” you sob in relief, quietly moving to get off of the bed before realizing— “fuck, my ankles.”
You can’t reach them to bite through the zip tie so you fiddle with the locking mechanism, pushing the small plastic latch this way and that with your fingernail until it gives way and loosens enough for you to slip out.
You look around for shoes, not about to make the same mistake as last time, and finally find them under the bed, slipping them on as quietly as possible and heading out of the door and down the stairs.
You’re almost out, freedom just out of reach, when keys jingle in the lock of the front door and you freeze for a moment before running to the hallway closet and hiding in it, holding your breath for dear life amongst coats and various household items. You peek through the slots and fear seizes your heart when you see Jaehyun walk past the closet and up to the second landing.
You don’t waste any time, immediately slipping out of the closet just in time to hear Jaehyun swear loudly, footsteps thundering down the stairs, and the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking has you panicking as you rush towards the front door.
“Don’t…move.” Jaehyun’s voice sounds out from behind you, and you turn slowly to face him. He’s got the gun pointed directly at your chest and your eyes widen and your breathing picks up as you realize the very real possibility that you might get killed. “Jaemin picked a difficult one, I see.”
“Jaemin wouldn’t want me dead,” you say desperately, shifting in panic each time Jaehyun moves to the side, not even realizing that he’s been slowly and subtly maneuvering you both so he’s blocking the front door and you’re forced further into the house.
“Jaemin wouldn’t mind you incapacitated.” Jaehyun points out, instead aiming the gun at your knee. 
“Please don’t,” you beg, tears welling up in your eyes, and he raises one eyebrow skeptically.
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.”
“Why are you helping him, anyway? You’re a cop; surely you know they’ve been looking for me.”
“He’s my brother,” Jaehyun answers your question like you’re stupid and you hide the way it makes you bristle with anger. “He makes dumb choices, yeah, but having his back is what family’s for.”
“I have a family, too,” you sniffle, and he blinks at you impassively.
“I really don’t care.”
Jaehyun’s face is frighteningly emotionless as he points the gun at your leg. You’ve got nowhere to run, and your hope is almost entirely snuffed out. You close your eyes and wait for the unimaginable pain to come with a bullet to the leg.
You flinch violently at the loud thud that startles you, and snap your eyes open at the familiar grunt, praying you’re not imagining things. Could it really be—?
Sure enough, Jaehyun is staggering from Ryujin’s powerful blow to the back of his head with a baseball bat. His grip on the gun slips and it hits the floor, making you flinch yet again as you pray it doesn’t go off. You dive for the gun at the same time Jaehyun does, but Ryujin kicks him hard in the side, the larger male groaning loudly in pain as one hand goes to clutch his side. You take the opportunity and snatch the gun off of the floor, quickly clambering to your feet and aiming the gun at his pained form on the floor.
“If you even think about moving, I will blow your fucking brains out.” You seethe, holding the gun with both hands and, truthfully, you’re surprised you’re not shaking, chalking it up to the shock and adrenaline.
“You don’t know how to shoot a gun.” Jaehyun sneers at you and you just smile, aiming at the wall behind him and pulling the trigger. The gun jerks back in your hand as a bullet tears a small hole through the wall, and Jaehyun’s face goes gray, much to your satisfaction.
“I’m sure I can figure it out.” You smile humorlessly down at him and you watch as he swallows thickly. “We’re going to leave now. I’m going to keep this gun. And if I ever see you again—I don’t care if it’s at the goddamn supermarket—I will put a bullet through your thick ass skull,” you promise, your voice low and trembling with poorly restrained rage (and fear—definitely fear). 
Jaehyun’s furious yet dead-set gaze on you is beyond unnerving, but you shake off the jitters as best you can.
You and Ryujin slowly inch towards the door, never moving your eyes away from Jaehyun, and right as Ryujin inches by him, he lunges for her ankle, making her jump away in surprise and barely get away. You and Ryujin both scream and you point the gun at his legs, not even thinking before you pull the trigger.
A loud gunshot rings out, your hands jerking back once more from the gun’s recoil, and Jaehyun practically roars in pain, grabbing his wounded thigh and squeezing hard in an attempt to slow the blood loss.
“I hope I hit a fucking artery.” You spit, taking the opportunity while both of Jaehyun’s hands are busy to lurch forward and kick him in the side as hard as you can.
“Fuck—you fucking bitch—” Jaehyun’s words come out in pained gasps as he grasps his side with one bloodied hand, gritting his teeth in agony, and you and Ryujin make a run for it. You’re in absolute shock and disbelief as you stumble out of the house you’ve been held captive in for weeks. 
You could faint from joy when you catch sight of Yuna’s car waiting outside the house, the car still on and running as you two rush to the car, climbing in the backseat. 
“Let’s go, go, go—” Yuna yells, not even waiting until Ryujin is done shutting the door to drive off as quickly as possible, her tires screeching.
There’s a moment of silence in the car where you and Ryujin look at each other and as you two lock eyes, she leans over to you and pulls you into a tight hug, trying her best to soothe you as you shake and tremble in her arms with the force of your crying. Your shoulder feels damp, you realize when you finally compose yourself enough to pull away, and you see that Ryujin has tears silently streaming down her cheeks.
“We thought you—that he—” Ryujin hiccups, and you hug her again tightly as she takes her turn to cry. “We never stopped looking for you.”
“Thank you,” you gush, the two words feeling embarrassingly inconsequential compared to the absolutely overwhelming relief and gratitude you feel. “I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you—”
“Don’t even mention it.” Yuna weaves through traffic precariously, and you’ve never been so relieved to be in the car with your haphazard driver of a friend.
“How the hell did you find me?” You can’t help but wonder.
Ryujin sags in relief and exhaustion against the backseat, her free hand not holding the baseball bat gripping your free hand not holding the gun. “We just had to figure out Jaemin’s name and address and the other day I got lucky and spotted him in the grocery store, so I followed him home.” Ryujin says, her words stumbling out together in her rush to speak. “It was like a miracle.”
“You’re telling me.” You laugh for what feels like the first time in ages, relief flooding through your body as the sight of the police precinct comes into view. 
It’s over. It’s finally over.
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“So what brings you to therapy?” The woman sitting in a large gray armchair watches you over the rims of her glasses. Her gaze is intent but kind, and she crosses one leg over the other. 
Her navy blue blazer and skirt are a cute combination, you think. The color brings out the warm brown of her eyes, and the slightly lighter shade of blue on the wall behind her only helps you feel a bit more at ease.
You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself before you speak.
“About two months ago, I, um…I was stalked and kidnapped.” You exhale slowly. “Or abducted, I guess—you can’t kidnap an adult—but, um, yeah.”
You chance a peek at the woman across from you to see her eyebrows raised in surprise, a concerned frown on her face.
“That must have been terrifying.” 
“Yeah, for sure. The guy who did it is in prison now, thankfully, but it’s definitely changed a lot of things in my everyday life, y’know?” you mumble, and she hums thoughtfully, nodding.
“Can you tell me a bit more about that?”
“Well, um. I ended up moving out of my apartment because I just didn’t feel safe there. I live in a different building now with a great security system.”
“That’s good.” She encourages you to continue speaking with a small wave of her hand.
“I also quit my job because that’s how J— …my stalker—found me. Now I work as a waitress.”
“I see,” she muses. “How is that working out?”
“It’s good,” you say with a shrug. “Meeting all those people every day is kind of nerve-wracking, but maybe it’ll get better with time.”
“I believe it will,” she assures you, and you can feel yourself relaxing a bit more. “How have you been sleeping?”
“Not very well,” you chuckle humorlessly. “I’m so…jumpy nowadays that any sounds at night wake me up instantly.”
“I can imagine.”
“And then there are the, um…the nightmares.” She seems to be waiting for you to elaborate, but a lump rises in your throat, rendering you silent for the time being. 
Avoiding her gaze, you scan the room for something to ground you and stop the tears pricking at the backs of your eyes. Your eyes land on the placard on her desk, your eyes tracing over the embossed letters of her name—Dr. Jiyoon Choi—and you envision what the nameplate would feel like under your fingertips. 
It’d be cool to the touch, you think; it’s metal, after all. Smooth, too. You mentally run your fingers over the ridges of the letters of her name, and—
“Nightmares are common for people who have been through traumatic events like your situation.” Dr. Choi’s voice is gentle but brings you out of your dissociative state nonetheless. 
“I figured,” you mutter with a nod.
“It will take time to work through everything you’ve been through.” Dr. Choi explains, and you nibble at your bottom lip as you listen to her. “Nightmares and flashbacks are common in people with PTSD—Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” 
“Yeah,” you echo lamely.
“As is dissociating at times,” she continues, and you think back to the several times you’ve spaced out in the thirty minutes you’ve been in her office. “It’s your brain trying to protect you from the memories.”
“I need it to try a little harder,” you sigh, and her lips quirk upwards into a fond smile.
“Be easy on it, hm? And yourself; you’ve both been through so much.” There’s something so deeply affirming about her confirmation of your situation, a professional signing off on your trauma, that the dam breaks and you take in a deep, shaky inhale before bursting into tears. 
The only other sound to be heard apart from your crying is the ticking of the clock on the wall.
Tick, tick, tick.
The sureness of the ticking, the reliability of the sound, is somehow calming to you, your ragged breaths slowly starting to sync up with the clock.
Tick, tick, tick.
Inhaling and exhaling deeply, you manage to compose yourself once more and look up at Dr. Choi—who, you now notice, has passed you a small blue tissue box.
Tick, tick, tick.
“That was embarrassing,” you mumble, slightly chuckling as you try to play it off as a joke.
“That was expected,” Dr. Choi corrects you, sitting forward in her seat and adjusting her posture. “May I ask a question?”
“Go ahead.”
“Was that the first time you’ve cried since everything happened?”
Tick, tick, tick.
“Yes,” you admit.
“I think that’s a good sign,” she encourages you. “You’re starting to make progress by processing your emotions.”
“Yeah?” Your voice sounds small but hopeful.
Dr. Choi nods reassuringly. “Yes.”
There’s a small beat of silence and you look down and run the pads of your thumbs over the smooth surfaces of your fingernails.
“Is there anything else you’d like to share today?” Dr. Choi asks gently, and you shake your head. “Okay. In that case, I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for our session today.”
“Thank you.” You stand up and take your bag, smiling feebly as you head for her door.
“Of course.” She smiles. Your hand is just wrapping around the doorknob when she speaks again. “Will I be seeing you next week?”
You don’t say anything for a moment, your fist squeezing the cool metal of the doorknob. 
You want to get rid of the dark cloud that feels like it’s been following you around for the past two months—you want to be able to walk down the street without looking over your shoulder every three seconds—you want…you want to feel better. 
“Yes,” you answer, turning back to look at her with a small smile. “You will.”
“Wonderful. My secretary can set you up for our next appointment. Take care and get home safe.” Dr. Choi bids you goodbye, and you nod again before exiting her office.
It’s a start, you think. A pretty good one, at that.
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Jaemin lazily thumbs through the pile of magazines in the pathetic excuse for a library the penitentiary has to offer, biding his time until the guards switch out their shifts. The clock ticks on endlessly, driving Jaemin closer and closer to insanity with every tick, tick, tick—
The air is uncomfortably warm and smells faintly of bleach and stale breath.
Tick, tick, tick—
The guard on duty yawns and looks at his watch.
Tick, tick, tick—
Another inmate in the “library” asks for permission to use the computer. Jaemin scoffs, wondering if his fellow prisoner is going to entertain himself with a game of Sudoku, Solitaire, or Minesweeper, seeing as how they have no access to the internet.
Tick, tick, tick—
Jaemin stands up slowly, so as not to draw too much attention to himself, and walks between the bookshelves holding barely anything worthwhile. He browses through the book selection, slender fingers stroking the spine of each hardcover book, before he finally finds what he’s been looking for. 
He brings the book back to his seat and angles the spine up so the cover is easily visible to anyone who may look at him. Feigning a pensive expression, Jaemin flips to the middle of the book. The back half of the pages have been meticulously hollowed out in the shape of a rectangle and there, in the makeshift pocket, lies a smartphone. 
Jaemin smirks to himself, smoothly pocketing the phone, and busies himself with looking through the pages of the book that haven’t been carved into. Hardcover books are typically off-limits, barely even allowed in the penitentiary, but Jaemin’s been getting some special perks due to “good behavior.”
To avoid arousing suspicion, he closes the book and gets up to put it back on the shelf, instead picking up a random self-help softcover book and leafing through the pages idly until that glorious tick, tick, tick—
There’s a brief sound of shuffling as the guard on duty stands up and offers his seat to the new guard about to assume his post. The first guard leaves, and the new guard sits down in the seat, leaning back to get comfortable. 
Jaemin waits.
Tick, tick, tick.
The guard sighs, already bored with his assignment, and Jaemin enacts his plan. Scrunching his face up in discomfort, he stands up and, clutching his stomach, makes his way over to the guard, who sits up in his seat immediately, apprehensive upon Jaemin’s approach.
“Can I help you?” The guard asks, his voice rough like sandpaper, and Jaemin groans once for effect.
“I need to use the bathroom. I think I’m gonna be sick.” He moans, and the guard’s eyebrows furrow as he appears to think about it. Jaemin can only hope this guard isn’t on a sick little power trip and won’t feel like denying him the bathroom just for the hell of it.
To really sell it, Jaemin lurches forward, doubling over as he mimics the sounds of poorly restrained retching. The guard’s face contorts into disgust, and he waves at the hallway in admission.
“I knew there was something fishy about those Sloppy Joes for lunch.” Jaemin hears the guard muttering to himself and masks his smirk with another discomfort-borne twisting of his lips.
He staggers past the guards in the hallway, walking past one tall, burly guard Jaemin has a feeling he shouldn’t piss off and a thin, almost lanky guard who could probably blow away if the wind got too strong, and makes his way into the bathroom, locking himself in a stall and dropping to his knees. As he hunches over the toilet bowl, he fishes out the sleek black rectangle from his pocket and powers the phone on, quickly opening up the internet browser and typing in what he’s looking for.
Jaemin fake retches loudly to keep up appearances, fingers of his free hand drumming impatiently on his lower thigh, and sighs in relief when the familiar page loads.
FunBunny is now live.
“Not now, FunBunny,” Jaemin mutters. “I have someone in mind.”
He types in the username he’s had swimming around in his mind for the past three months since he’s been locked up and when the page buffers, no doubt due to the shitty internet connection in the prison, Jaemin sucks his teeth. 
“Come on, come on, come on.” He’s alight with a buzz, the jitters settling in as the page finally loads, only for his heart to drop to the bottom of his stomach.
User ‘PL4YG1RL’ does not exist. Please try a different search term.
Jaemin stares at the screen incredulously, anger and frustration building slowly but steadily and now he swears he really can feel bile rising in his throat.
“Impossible.” He spits through gritted teeth, now dangerously close to losing his composure. He’s waited three months—three fucking months—to see you again, and you’ve managed to slip through his fingers.
He refreshes the page in a refusal to accept the situation, gripping the phone so tightly his knuckles turn white, and has to restrain the urge to slam the phone down on the grimy tiles in defeat when the page finishes loading to show the same screen as before.
“Fuck, shit, fuck!” Jaemin slams his hand against the wall of the bathroom stall before growling, his tethers to sanity starting to slip away the further he spirals into his thoughts.
“Inmate, what’s going on in there?” One of the guards from the hallway calls out, the bass in his voice snapping Jaemin back to reality. 
“Got sick from the Sloppy Joes,” Jaemin grunts back, running his fingers through his hair and barely restraining himself from yanking the locks out at the root. 
“Those always seemed odd to me, y’know.” Another voice, a thinner, more mousy voice sounds out, presumably the less imposing of the two guards. “Always thought they smelled kinda funny.”
“Yeah.” The burly guard is dismissive at best, and whatever the mousy guard says as a follow-up comment goes unheard by Jaemin as he refocuses his attention on the disappointing sight on his phone screen. 
Jaemin stands up finally, shutting the phone off and pocketing it once more. He flushes the toilet with his foot and exits the stall, washing his hands. He stares himself down in the dirty bathroom mirror, at the dark circles that have formed under his eyes since his time in prison began, the scowl Jaemin’s mouth is unwaveringly twisted into, and he grits his teeth. He shuts off the faucet, dries his hands, and heads out of the bathroom and back to the library with a building resolve in his chest.
Jaemin will find you again—no matter what it takes.
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thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed :) tips are greatly appreciated!
SUPPORT ME?  VENMO !!  CASHAPP !!  KO-FI !!  WISHLIST !! (why?)
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abnerkrill · 1 year
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fandom participation in the 2007 wga strike: some notes
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fans4writers.com (a website that is still live, though most links are broken!) was a fandom grassroots organization, originating primarily in Firefly/Whedonverse fandom
fans4writers emphasizes cross-fandom solidarity (all fans of all writers) with the very catchy logo "don't write until it's right"!
that group was responsible for pizza deliveries to picket lines, joining in picketing efforts, mass mailing pencils to studios, and sky writing in support of the wga during the tournament of roses parade. (reportedly, universal studios called the cops on a pencil delivery.)
the website had these (honestly still very good) FAQ for joining in picketing. [I'm currently aware (may 5) that the WGA is open to non-members picketing as well, and some "pre-WGA" (aka aspiring writers) are even organizing carpools on Twitter!]
fans4writers also had forums for organizing purposes (that are now dead, that I wish I could view and archive) and a still-existing but unused Twitter account with updates.
I ask again: who in the 2023 fandom landscape has the balls to organize fandom in support of the WGA?? Whedonverse and Battlestar Galactica fans were crowdsourcing pizza funds, creating auctions, putting together this website and all its outreaches and mf'ing official press releases... where can we find that energy now?
note: I was 10 years old when the 2007 strike happened; I just like digging on the Internet and may have gotten things wrong about these organizations and am open to corrections from anyone who was present and in the trenches. In fact, if you were a part of the aforementioned organizing efforts, I would LOVE to chat with you!
[read the WGA's official statement on the strike here and always get your strike news from official WGA sources. Don't trust the biased trade sources or social media.]
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luunaathh · 6 months
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•Powwow of the Nonhuman, a Great Celebration of Indigenous Otherkind!•
•Many greetings to those who have laid their eyes upon these writings! I am very, very happy to announce a new community project I have been working on for the past month. Powwow of the Nonhuman is a digital celebration of indigenous peoples who identify as animals or non-human species! Those of us who are therians and otherkind who are indigenous have sadly been fragmented and unrepresnted in our respective communities. This event seeks to change that! We wish to celebrate the indigenous cultures, traditions, and ceremonies that some therians and otherkind are a part of!
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•In my viewpoint, therians and otherkind who are both nonhuman identifying and indigenous have a special connection to the nature, medicine, and energy of our Mother Earth, Father Sky, and Great Creator. We have a connection to both the world of humanity and the world of the animal people and the plant people. We are essntially the animal and plant people living the human experience. We should embrace and love both our nonhuman experiences and our human culture.
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•The powwow will be hosted digitally on the event's official website via the integrated video system. The powwow will consist of a pre-scheduled, refined and edited motion picture featuring individual and unique presentations of indigenous culture and otherkind experiences by our event presenters. There will be intermittent periods during panels and presentations where indigenous vendors can present their wares during the powwow. We are working on implementing a chat system on site so individuals who attend the powwow premier can interact and talk during the course of the event.
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•Powwows are not only for indigenous peoples who originate from the continental Americas, we welcome all indigenous peoples from all areas of the world. This includes indigenous peoples with roots originating in Australia, Africa, Asia, The Middle East, and all island nations. All people of color are welcome to present at the powwow, whether they know where exactly their indigenous roots stem from or not.
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•We need a few things to make this event happen. We need individuals who are capable of editing videos and audio since the powwow itself will be hosted on video and prescheduled. Editing a motion picture of this size will take a lot of effort, so we will need individuals who are committed to working on a project such as this. We need staff members to help with event organizing and planning. I will be doing much of the work, though I will not be able to run an event like this alone, I need some support from the indigenous community. Additionally, we need at least eight presenters for the event, not including staff members. Please help us to reach this minimum goal by boosting this post and spreading the word about the powwow!
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•This event will cost my being hundreds of dollars to run and maintain. Please consider purchasing any of my artwork or anything from the powwow's official shop! Custom pieces like the one below, including the swirls and dots will cost around 65$ USD.
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Important event dates-
•Event staff applications open-April 20th
•Powwow presenter applications open-April 20th
•Powwow vendor applications open-April 20th
•Powwow presenter applications close-October 20th
•Powwow vendor applications close-October 20th
•Powwow Premiers-December 20th
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•Interested in participating in the powwow? Wish to be there during the premier of the event? Please refer to the information on the powwow's official website! If you have any questions about the powwow, please feel free to send a private messsge my way!
•http://www.powwowofthenonhuman.org/
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ladyyatexel · 1 year
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Friends, Romans, Tumblrites, lend me your reblogs.
I'm Xel and I live in a society! I think there's a solid chance you do also! So you may relate to the profoundly crappy thing that happened to me and that I once again need a community assist.
I lost a temporary job that was supposed to turn into a permanent job in June because no one there felt safe enough to retire. Only two of us in the apartment were under 50. One of the crew was over 70. Three were chronically ill/disabled. No one felt safe enough to leave in order for me to stay, so I was trained for basically 6 months for nothing.
I have survived on savings from that job until this point, but I'm at the point where I cannot pay rent. I'm looking into getting help from sources more local to me but the internet has always felt like people who cared about me more than the people I share DNA with, really.
Many of the social services that I was signed up for expired the day that I was supposed to be told that I would be a permanent hire, and since that didn't go down, now I have to start it all again from the beginning, and there are gaps in my security net.
I tell you all of that just to say that I am actually trying to do things, I'm not here to just beg and coast along on some sort of lavish lifestyle where I, uh. Keep living in this dodgy apartment with my cat.
I don't want to bore you with an itemized list, but like 2,000 US dollars would get me through September and October without being worried about it like every 3 minutes. My rent is 700 and change, if you would like to know that. So I'm looking for like September and October rent and money to renew my driver's license, pay a few utility bills, buy a bag of cat food, and refill my medications.
If you have the notion to toss help at an internet pal or the extended reblogged acquaintance of an Internet pal, as is more likely the case, probably, that would be super rad of you.
I'm an artist! You could get things with images on them from me! I sell buttons, prints, and commissioned illustrations if that's your thing. My commissions are going a bit slow as of late - I only recovered from being not really able to walk like 2 months ago, and so I'm doing a lot of catch up like everywhere else in my whole life and trying not to spend too much time at a desk since it aggravates the spine thing that was the problem in the first place.
To be honest, it would be a greater help to me to just receive some Aid rather than full-on commissions, but I completely understand feeling fishy about people getting something for nothing and also feeling bad for being a charity case on the internet, so I'm not opposed! If you want to chat about that, I have a commissions post on the side or top of my blog depending on where you're looking at this!
Ko-fi contains my buttons and is a good place to toss digital dead American presidents if that suits you. I will get hit by some PayPal fees in this process but, I'm willing to call that a call for help on the internet tax.
I promise I'm a real person and not a bot who has made up a cat and is pretending to have interests. My blog has been here since 2010! I've met people on this website in person and everything. I've had embarrassing obsessions no bot would bother coming up with. Speaking of:
Similarly to times before, I would like to be able to do something in order to feel like I have earned some kind of support, and as of my birthday last week I have resolved to try very hard in the next year to conquer my fear and absolute mortification about many of the things I make, so I will once again go digging into my archives for things I can post for you to enjoy as thanks and tribute! I also have a poll running right now to see what kind of buttons people want!
Thanks for taking a look! Be nice out there, take care of your spines!
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cupiddivinearrow · 10 months
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What is your 💫💫💫Starseed ⭐️ Connection 💫💫💫? PAC Reading
Website Link: (Still a work in progress. So please bare with me)
Hey, check out my website, "Cupid’s Divine Arrow" with this link: https://cupiddivinearrow11.wixsite.com/cupidsdivinearrow-2
Discord link: https://discord.gg/bsWTW7FKbg
(I offer reiki sessions, energy shields, general, love, career, past lives, etc readings, sigils, etc. at reasonable prices…)
Take a moment to close your eyes and breathe, in through your nose, out through your mouth. When your body feels calm, open your eyes and let your intuition guide you to your pile. It’s okay to pick more than one pile!
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PILE 1: CHILDREN OF THE COSMOS
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Crystal of Choice:
Smoky Quartz
• Keep you grounded if you're doing spiritual work or meditating
• Encourage a deeper connection to the Earth
• Support feelings of peace and calm
• Help you work through personal fears
🌌 KEY INDICATORS 🌌
Balances
Healing Energy
Empathic
Intelligent
Trouble going with the flow
Humanitarians
Spiritual
Innocent, Pure
Magnetic pull to water
Emotional, full of love, guided by love
Self discovery, Finding yourself
Intuitive
Divinely Guided
Mysteries
Unexpected Discoveries
Gaia, Mother Earth, Earth
Animals of Significance:
Parrot:
love, prophecy, verbosity, mediation
Insect:
Feminine power, spirituality, renewal
Chakras of Significance:
Crown chakra
3rd eye chakra
Heart chakra
Astrological Energies of Significance:
Scorpio
Cancer
Pisces
Capricorn
Aquarius
Leo
Pile 1, this group is a very intelligent group. This pile is big on change and exploration. This pile might often have a traumatic past that can be crippling to some.
This pile may also have REALLY BIG HEARTS and moves out of love, most of the time.
The experiences that this pile undergoes are the stepping stones on their path. This pile often goes through changes, are often healing from friends and family, loved ones, that betray them. It’s hard for this pile to trust.
Pile 1, y’all often tap into your intuition due to the inner knowledge that y’all have buried within, knowledge that’s meant to help guide the Earth through the knowledge gathered from past experiences. This pile is meant to keep moving forward, to push through the hardships that could break an individual.
Pile 1, you may be seen as pure, innocent, angelic. Have a fondness to being close to the water.
Overall, this pile has the inner knowledge to push through any hardship, learn from it, and rise up from the ashes like a Phoenix.
Pile 1, you are here, on Earth, to share with the world about Patience. The world is always on the go, maybe this pile too, and it may be a bit difficult to slow down and just be. Be still. Be patient. Wait. But the thing that Pile 1 wants to express to the world that even when there is confusion on your path, being patient and keep in your faith will help push things along. People forget that faith sometimes requires patience, even when things are unclear.
This pile is big hearted, full of love, and nurturing energy. A part of your soul remembers the peace, unity and love that it shared amongst its soul family before having came to Earth and it yearns to feel that again. So when people hurt you, it strikes deep. Because it’s not really here on Earth. Which is the karmic wound that needs healing. Earth needs to heal the parts that make them stir the pot that causes a rift in unity. This pile is meant to shine a light on what’s keeping the Earth so divided, so it can be acknowledged and worked on.
Earth needs to learn how to tap into that Universal love that we all have access to and learn how to truly be sorry to those that are hurt by the carelessness of others. The shadows, hate, wounds, separation, severing, wrongs, and sadness must be acknowledged to bring change. To bring peace.
Pile 1, you may become a bit irritated or impatient at the idea of having to wait and be patient. Especially when your soul remembers being able to manifest your desire without the need to wait, or being able to listen to your intuition then and know what to do and where you were going vs now, where your intuition may whisper to you or not, and you feel more lost than grounded. Try to remember that other planets move differently than Earth, as well as, any progress is still progress. You don’t have to know where you’re going or what’s going on to move forward, just try to listen to your instincts and take a step. That’s all it takes. And by doing that, you’ll also be teaching the Earth to do the same. You’ll be leading by example which will encourage others to do the same.
Pile 1, have y’all been feeling homesick lately? Is your soul remembering the times it had back home? Remembering the feeling of home? Just know that everything will be okay P1. Try to remember that you chose to come here to Earth and that you’re not alone. You didn’t come here alone. It’s time to fully give in to the human experience. Try to anchor your personality, your soul, and your spirit to the life you are living now. Whether you’re yearning for a place or person to find home, just know that this was your choice. Commit by putting both feet completely in and ask yourself how you can be more so? This has been a challenge for you Pile 1, and it’s one that you can overcome.
Pile 1, your soul is being called. It’s being called to connect with the Earth, with Mother Gaia. So often, we can get thrown in a rut; in a repeating cycle that leaves us moving on auto, doing the same things, over and over again, daily. This can cause our souls to start thirsting for more. Our souls were never meant to be stuck in a box. Limited. Stuck. Unsupported, alone. Stagnant. However, when we give ourselves permission to get in touch with nature and ourselves, it allows us to connect more to Mother Gaia, to Earth. To fill that void that we continue to try to convince ourselves will close if we just move, act, sound, etc a certain way. Allow yourself to listen to that little voice that tells you to go against the grain. It’s time to slow down and spend some time out in nature. Listen to yourself. Be still. Breath with Lady Gaia, Earth, the Divine.
🌎 Closing Comment:🌎
Pile 1, you are being asked to take things slow… one day at a time. Maybe it’s time to start looking into the stars and crystalline grids, which provides stored information that contains ancient codes of wisdom that had been forgotten by humanity. These ancient codes will help Pile 1 to assist humanity with the vibrational shift that’s taking place. The crystalline grid are constantly having stars shower emanations onto it, and information sent back to it once things are balanced on Earth. Lastly, this pile’s vibration may be raising and it’s causing y’all to activate your energy body to its highest form: The light body, which will require this pile to move slow in order to integrate this change.
✨ POSSIBLE STAR SYSTEMS✨
Pleiades
Sirians
Arcturians
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
PILE 2: 🕊️ MESSENGERS 🕊️
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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Crystal of Choice:
Rainbow Moonstone
Represents inner clarity
Cyclical change
Connection to the feminine
It is a symbol of light and hope
Encourages us to embrace new beginnings
Closely linked to themes of femininity:
fertility
balance
softness
intuition
🕊️ KEY INDICATORS 🕊️
Harmony
Balance
Divine Feminine
Divine Masculine
Innocent, Pure
Old Souls, Wise
Instinct, Impulsive, Spontaneous
Intuitive
Ice, Water, Emotional
Priest, High Priestess
Trust, Faith, Divinely Guided
Forward Movement
Completion, Ending of Cycles
Ascension
Music
Fate vs Destiny, Akashic Records
Saturn energy
Spiritual Warriors
Gaia
Egypt
Native American
Arctic/ Alaska
Cold/ Ice
CHAKRAS OF SIGNIFICANCE
Crown Chakra
3rd Eye Chakra
Throat Chakra
ANIMALS OF SIGNIFICANCE:
Birds:
Soul, Divinity, Liberation, Creativity, Rebirth
Raven:
Creation, Magic, Illumination
Polar Bear:
Power, Wisdom, Peace
ASTROLOGICAL ENERGIES:
Libra
Virgo
Fire Energies
Some of you may want to check pile 1
Pile 2, **YALL ARE POWERFUL**!!!!! This is the pile that is meant to bring harmony and balance to the world. This pile has dedicated their lifetimes to bringing peace to the world. Y’all might not like big groups or need time to recoup after being in one. This pile may love being near water, or may need to. Some of you may be seeing 222 a lot, 888, 999, 1111. This pile may consist of those that may be on their twin flame journeys. Some of the people in this pile may be highly intuitive, which means you receive lots of downloads from the Divine/ Source/ the Universe. May be immature when it comes to communication, but stay in their heads a lot. May have a lot of love to give but may seem closed off. This pile may love to listen to music, or may be musicians and dancers, very artistic. This pile may also face a lot of trauma that they must heal from, to end unhealthy cycles so you can be reborn. This pile is helps the world to transition by spreading peace around the world through your life experiences that cause you to change and evolve. To grow without going dark. This pile is meant to make moving on and handling issues with Grace. To find yourself through lessons that teach you to let go of anything trying to hold you back and by doing the things you love, things that feed your soul. This pile is all about fairness and Justice through reflection and ascension. This pile is destined to have fulfillment. Y’all are or will be known for making life difficulties look easy. This pile is screaming Spiritual Warriors. You’re all about Faith.
As of late, pile 1, y’all may be letting things be for now. Not pushing anything, but learning to let things come to you. You came to Earth to teach others to do the same. You’re learning how to take the lead in your life. This pile may have a hard time trusting others to lead, as well, in themselves. Y’all might be having a hard time trusting in your actions. However, doubt is part of life. Every hero or leader has doubts, but they had to learn when to push through them. You asked to be here. You asked to undergo these lessons to ascend. You’re here to show Earth that just because something happens that doesn’t feel good, doesn’t mean it was bad or you’re living wrong. Social law vs Spiritual law. Which one matters more? Which one applies more? Care less what others think, and trust your instincts. So often people forget that Earth’s laws don’t apply to what’s meant to be. Now’s the time to help teach the Earth how to let go of control issues by ignoring the background noise, which sometimes, it’s our self sabotaging ways, and focus on your purpose.
Pile 2, have you been facing a lot of difficulties lately that’s been making you feel as if you’ve hit rock bottom? It’s time to love on yourself a little bit harder and have some compassion for yourself. As trying as it has been, please try to remember that situations in life are temporary. That nothing lasts forever and that diamonds are only formed under pressure baby! And you, pile 2, are diamonds in the making, if you’re not one already. So many people don’t realize that hitting rock bottom is a gift. A true blessing. Because the only way you can go is up. And the only way you can truly find out just how strong you are is by learning your fullest potential. Surrender to the alchemy of life. Don’t give up, you’re a Phoenix baby! Rise from the ashes and learn just how powerful you truly are. I bet you’ll surprise yourself in the end.
Pile 2, you may want to learn how to think like the Pleiadeans. You’re being called to learn how to let go of the situations in the past that made you feel bad about yourself. You’re being asked to see the bigger picture. What can you take out of those experiences? Have you tried to ask yourself what about those experiences that left you feeling down and out were a blessing? What did you learn? What was something positive you can take from your experiences. It’s all about perspective. “The glass half empty, half full” saying comes to mind. Just know, an old dog can learn new tricks, and it’s never too late for you to learn something new that could help change the future. Maybe you’ve been feeling inspired lately? The world needs more people that can see the big picture, artists, dreamers, inventors, & visionary thinkers. Trust in the vision that you have and follow through. It takes courage to pace a new path- have faith anyways. Trust that everything will work out as intended. Trust in yourself.
Also, Pile 2, some of you may already know that you’re a pretty strong empath, and for those that didn’t, well now you do... P2, it’s okay to keep some things for yourself. Y’all are so sweet, y’all make be overextending yourself, which can play a part on you feeling drained. So, P2, it’s time to start looking out for self more. It’s okay to take some time to self and to fill your cup. I mean, who’s gonna give you what your body needs and craves if you don’t? You gotta take care of you before you can help anymore. Being an empath, you can draw in others emotions and vibes, and it’s important to take the time to nourish yourself. And don’t worry about whether or not you have time to nurture yourself and do your life’s purpose. As long as you take care of self, the Earth will automatically receive the love that it’s meant to, because it’s literally surrounding you. All you have to do is BE. It’s time to take care of your energetic self. It’s okay, P2. The world won’t stop if you take some time for self, I promise.
🕊️ Closing Comments🕊️
P2, your soul is calling out to you to work on your perspective. It’s time to wake up. Yes, life can be hard. Especially when you’re feeling a calling to find a home, person or place where you feel at home, at peace. Your soul craves it because it remembers it, before all the difficulties of life on Earth. However, the difficulties we face can sometimes cloud of judgement and that’s all we focus on. Not realizing that all it is is a distraction. We’re a small speck of dust compared to what’s really going on out there. Time can be so fleeting. It’s time to see how our mindset affects our ability to follow our contract. Our soul’s experience is a flash compared to what’s really going on in the Universe. Take a moment to see the bigger picture. Find the strength to live on Earth with all your strength and keep pushing forward with great compassion and love from within. Don’t let life’s difficulties change you for the worse. You are a being of love. Try to remember to look at any experience with love in your heart, that’s the only way to truly move forward without allowing poison to warp our perspectives.
✨POSSIBLE STAR SYSTEMS:✨
Pleiades
Sirian
Venusian
Hadarian
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
PILE 3: STAR⭐️KEEPER
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Crystal of Choice:
Amethyst Crystal
aka “All Purpose Stone
Inner peace
Happiness
Draws in love
Healing abilities
Assist in curing physical illnesses related to the head, lungs, pancreas, liver, stomach, muscles, and reproductive organs
Increase in Spiritual abilities
⭐️KEY INDICATORS⭐️
Cosmic Ancestors
Portal
New beginnings
Intuitive
Talkative
Balanced
Egypt
Star energy; popular, magnetic
Manifestors
Overthinks
Needs to stay grounded
Artistic
Spiritual
Unexpected Changes
Waters, Bodies of Water, Emotional
Forward movement
Juggling
A shift
Depression
Recognition
Non-Judgemental
Creation/ Life/ Fertility
Greek ties —> Goddesses Artemis or Amphitrite
Egyptian ties —> Goddess Isis
Hunger for life, change, something new
Wish fulfillment
Masculine energy
Destiny
Chakras of Significance
Crown
Third Eye
Throat
Root
Animals of Significance:
Deer
Instinctual Energy, Independence, Regeneration
Cow
Fertility, Purity, Divination
Gull
Water, Creation, Emotions
Animal Deities
Divinity, Guidance, Wisdom
Astrological Energies of Significance
Cancer
Sagittarius
Aries
Capricorn
Mars energy
Neptune energy
Pluto energy
How’s it going P3!
This pile may be into the arts, such as music, dancing, drawing, etc. Some of you may be seeing 111s and 222s a lot. Some of y’all in this group may be intuitive. Some of y’all may have had to move on from things that could’ve left you broken. This pile might have a hard time balancing their emotions and their thoughts. Some of you may be feeling a bit pessimistic or depressed? Some of you may be thirsty for life and might be needing a change? Some of you may be dealing with some people in your life that are deceivers, liars, out for self, and it may be keeping you in a distorted energy. Some of you may be heavy in your masculine energy right now, whether you’re a man or woman (I go off energy, not gender). Some of you may be trying to juggle life, career, or relationships, especially after an unexpected change. Some of you have been manifesting a change in your career or hoping to receive a gift that would be a wish fulfillment. If any of this resonates, then this is your pile P3.
P3, after a long and challenging time, the world is officially undergoing a shift. And that’s thanks to y’all doing your part P3. However, I see you’re having a hard time seeing past the difficulties in life and finding that spark again. It’s okay to focus on your spiritual growth, but you must also remember to live in the 3D. You may be feeling like you recently hit rock bottom. You need to remember that it’s okay to be spontaneous. It’s okay to surrender to pleasure and joy. You really need to focus on filling your own cup back up again. The Universe doesn’t want you drowning for love and fun, but to live! To find that spark that motivates you to keep moving forward. This world will drain you if you let it. Stay focused on moving forward, P3. I guarantee, that your manifestations and wishes are just around the corner. That’s a promise. Also, try to remember that life isn’t a race. It’s okay to relax and enjoy the moment. Enjoy the process. Have no regrets when looking back. You’re so much closer than you know P3.
Awwww P3 🥺🥺🥺 One word. Balance. It’s time to find balance. Some starseeds that come to Earth have a harder time living in it. Some starseeds have a hard time balancing their life out with their spiritual side, finding it easier to be part of the Earth than to worry about other things. This battle between the spiritual and Earth is called Transcendence vs Immanence. Most starseeds feel more comfortable with transcending. P3, you came to the Earth to show people how to balance out the 2. You need to learn how to BE in the world P3. Because you have a hard time having boundaries, it may be hard for you to BE in this world. You’re beings of pure, unconditional love. So you see the good in people, which often leaves you taken advantage of. Some of you have been relationships that you may partake in may tend to be a bit unhealthy, and this happens a lot. Some of you are here to learn how to love while in a separate body. P3, it’s time to learn how to love yourself and establish healthy boundaries. You are full of all the love you need and require. Maybe some of you are in a codependent relationship, or maybe some of you are in relationships where you give more than what you get and it’s draining you. P3, it’s time to establish healthier ways. If you lose yourself in relationships, it’s time to maybe, take some time to self and focus on loving yourself and getting to know yourself better.
Some of you may be Golden Children, aka Children of the Sun (I also heard Ra). Children of the Sun are suspected of being highly intuitive and gifted, but often are treated in a not so nice way on their journeys. Some of you may need to heal your inner child from trauma, and some of you may be expecting or will be expecting soon, and it could be a Child of the Sun. To help bring these intuitive children into the world to nurture and guide. Also, some of you who have trouble upholding your boundaries are a bit of a people pleaser and this is causing you to pour salt in your wounds, while adding on more. You’re not meant to be everyone’s cup of tea. You’re not meant to please everyone. The person you should be concerned with pleasing is yourself. Stop giving away your power. Embrace who you are and who you were meant to be. It’s okay if everyone doesn’t understand you. You weren’t meant to be placed in a box (society standards). Embrace the weirdness. Your uniqueness. It’s what makes you shine.
The life lesson you came here to learn P3, is that anything that is unaligned in your life must go. It’s time to question everything that you know and virtually scan what is acceptable and needed in your life, and what isn’t… or who. The shift that is occurring will be doing the same for the world. Society, the World, how people think…? The Unseen will start to be seen. Everything will start to change, or it will not survive. So you must make sure you’re doing your part. Yes, it may be difficult, but it is necessary. It’s time for the world to be reminded how the Universe operates, which isn’t based on what society is pushing today. It’s time to dismantle the ways and beliefs that are no longer serving. It’s time for you to trust in what you need to do and take the baby steps to make it happen.
P3, it’s never too late to learn something new. To change your perspective or goals, your career, or the relationships in your life. It’s time to step into your role and be a visionary for the planet. You decide what you believe… what you follow . And the decisions you make today could affect the wellbeing of the planet and its species, so it’s important that you get a different perspective than the one you’ve had. It’s time to open your mind and dream a new world. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. It takes alot of courage to take the path you’re being called to take vs the easier one. Trust that what you’re about to do will be successful, just hold firm. Doors are opening for you P3. You have the Midas touch right now. Your thoughts are extra powerful right now, the planets are aligned and the timing is right. The Universe has your back P3. All of your hard work is about to pay off, just keep going! Especially since now is the time to work on moving towards your dreams abd ACHIEVING those dreams. If you feel like you’re being called to shake things up and make some big changes, NOW’S the time to do it. Effortless changes are about to happen for you, if it’s not happening already P3.
Some of you may want to check out P1 if you were called to do so.
P3, it’s time to remember that you’re not alone, it can just feel that way when you’re not balanced in the 3D & 5D. You’re being called to check in with yourself more, and to start practicing honing your gifts. It’s time to step up. You came to Earth with a double mission. To grow as a soul and to assist in the shift to raise the consciousness of the world. Some of you in p3 may have many unique gifts that you do or don’t know about that has yet to fully be uncovered. Move towards your being called to do, whether it’s a creative project, a passion, or an adventure. It’s time to step up and leap. Also, some of you in P3 need to take some time to reach out to family or friends, or go on a friendly walk with a someone to gather your energetic resources. As an old soul, sometimes starseeds feel the need to isolate or be alone. But we’re humans. We’re beings that require group interaction and closeness. Find the balance, P3.
⭐️Closing Comments:⭐️
P3, if you’re working on any projects, just know this pile whatever it is has great potential to be successful. Don’t give up. Be like the Mintakans who saw the light in everything and everyone. There is potential in humans and situations, just gotta train yourself to see that. Try to have faith P3, and know that EVERYTHING and everyone are working out to the highest potential for all those involved. Also, try to figure out any unconscious thoughts and patterns you have and bring them to light. If we don’t face what is needed to addressed, they have a tendency to show up. So deal with whatever you’re not dealing with P3, before you’re made to by the Universe.
✨POSSIBLE STAR SYSTEMS: ✨
Pleiadean
Sirian
Arcturian
Hadarian
Children of the Sun
Mintakans
✨ And that concludes this reading! ✨
🕊️🕊️🕊️ Blessings!🕊️🕊️🕊️
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rebirthgarments · 6 months
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Mohammed Hammad increased his goal for evacuation to $25k so that he can bring his 6 younger siblings with him!
I was informed by my comrade Brenda that the first goal was originally $10k to evacuate Mohammed Hammad and his mother because since he is under 18, he can only evacuate with a parent or legal guardian. But in this case, his 6 younger siblings would have to be left behind on their own, so @fedup4palestine raised the goal to $25k so that Mohammed’s whole immediate family can all evacuate together. Since you all have been so amazing and we have raised $9k in just 24 hours, I think we can do it!
[Image description: an amazing colored pencil drawing by my 12 year old student Mos @NicoCavalu made of Mohammed Hammad laying down with his leg propped up with the metal fixator on his knee. Hand drawn block text in red, black, white and green reads “Disabled 17yo Mohammed needs medical Evacuation immediately”. Red typed text in red reads “Goal increased to $25k so that his 6 younger siblings are not left behind alone in Rafah
givebutter.com/mogaza
There is a QR code that goes to the Give Butter Link.]
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I’ve had some questions from people asking about my vetting process and about @fedup4palestine and if @moh.2090727 is able to access the money for sure, so here are some short answers:
I or a trusted comrade have personally vetted all of the fuhnd-raizers that are under the heading labeled “Pal-eh-stienian Fundraisers Sky of Rebirth Garments is helping with” in my AllMyLinks. Half of them we vetted through video chat, and the other half were already friends of my friends from before the “escalation”. Mohammed Hammad’s campaign was already vetted through @fedup4palestine , and over the course of the last 36 hours I have messaged with him extensively. I talk to every one of the people that I have been working on helping every day (unless they lose access to the internet).
Pretty much all of the families I am working for are more than down to be connected with anyone and answer questions, so don’t be shy, if you are not supporting fuhn-raisers because you are not fully sure about them, just DM me and I can get you directly connected with a family so you can see how real they are!
Note: I am currently not able to add on any more fuhnd-raisers for me to personally work on (until more of them have been totally met)
@fedup4palestine is a very new nonprofit, they have been too swamped with making the fuhnd-raizer pages to finish and launch their website yet. They have their nonprofit status, and they use it to create the GiveButter campaign pages. I just went through the process with my other fuhnd-raizer with Seraj to make a GiveButter, and you have to be a nonprofit in order to make any campaigns there (I ended up using my fiscal sponsor Allied Media Projects’ GiveButter in order to make the auction for Seraj, which will go live in the next couple days!). GiveButter is now the recommended alternative to GFM, since GFM keeps shutting down Pal-eh-stinian fuhnd-raizers. This does not mean you shouldn’t give to GFM’s that you know are vetted, but it means that you should also work to help folks get GiveButter campaigns as well!
Mohammed Hammad has a bank account with Bank of Pal-eh-stein , and I have confirmed with both him and @fedup4palestine that he has access to withdraw the money from his fundraising money anytime he needs. He is currently waiting to withdraw until he now has the full amount for him + his siblings’ evacuation because he doees not want to leave them behind.
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scorchrend · 3 months
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Hi my friend Maybe you can help me I am Nidal from Gaza, Palestine I live under war, fear and destruction We have narrowly escaped death several times We lost everything, our family, our friends, our home, our memories, our life Could you help me Just post the link on your personal page as much as possible To help me and my family safely leave Gaza and rebuild our destroyed home. Thanks for everything
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-my-children-get-out-of-gaza-safely?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=chat&utm_source=whatsApp
Please help me by donating in this website
$4,562/$100,000
Funding needed for a family of 25 people to evacuate Gaza. Please help them to survive and rebuild their lives and homes. Any support given be it sharing or monetary is crucial.
This is a verified fundraiser.
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car-rental-software · 2 years
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Decentralized Enterprise Artificial Intelligence
HaiVE is AI as a service that can be deployed both as a public service hosted on a heterogeneous network or as an enterprise AI solution on-premise with full privacy. Use ai as your catalyst for sales, support and development functions with on-premise infrastructure and complete business privacy. https://haive.tech/
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subsystems · 4 months
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hope sending ask is ok rn, i have hard time looking resource. looking for book how to co-exist with independent dissociative parts (have system but not feel safe in saying DID yet). cannot do therapist addressing parts yet but want to cope in daily life. hope can help. or others comment/reblog and give. thank you 🍀
This ask was sent a while ago, I hope you're doing okay now anon. You say you can't talk to a therapist yet but I hope you have someone else in your life who is supportive and you can talk to about these things! You shouldn't have to face this alone.
Even though you don't have therapeutic support, it's still possible to build up communication and cooperation with your parts. I reblog a lot of tips and resources to my coping tag if you want to check that out. Here are some other resources that you might find helpful:
DID/OSDD Self-help Masterlist There are so many resources here, categorized by different topics. You'll find stuff here for both survivors and loved ones, and you don't need to have DID/OSDD to use them!
Beauty After Bruises Blog You'll find so many articles here on coping with daily life as a dissociative survivor. I love how they're written, they feel very approachable and almost calming to read.
Dissociative Living Admittedly, I haven't read many of these articles but the few I've seen have been good. I think their writing is very approachable for people who are new to all of this.
DIS-SOS Lots of advice and informative articles on living with DID here -- in both English and German! I've found some really interesting and unique coping tips here, I definitely recommend it. It's actually because of this blog that I discovered one of my favorite methods of system communication.
CTAD Clinic Youtube Channel A channel run by the director of this clinic which specializes in dissociation and trauma. I've watched probably all of his videos -- they're very good! Lots of the videos provide tools and self-help tips on coping with dissociation & dissociative parts!
Carolyn Spring's Blog You'll find amazing articles here about trauma and dissociation, but do be aware that the author is both a professional and a survivor with DID herself. She isn't afraid to talk about her lived experience, shining a light on the reality of trauma and dissociation which can be confronting but oh-so empowering to read.
System Speak Podcast A podcast run by a DID system. She talks about her own healing journey as well as interviews professionals and dives into the psychology behind trauma and dissociation. Personally, I think the website is a bit hard to navigate but every podcast I've listened to has been extremely informative and relatable!
Self-help books can also be extremely useful if you don't have access to a therapist. You can find a bunch of free downloads here! I would recommend starting with "Got Parts? An Insider's Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder" by ATW. Personally, I think this is the best book to start with. It's a bit old and there are some outdated ideas in it, but I think it's a very gentle entry into learning system communication and coping with DID if you have never worked with a therapist.
Some other resources that might be useful:
Strategies for coping with distressing voices
FREE 100 page e-book for trauma survivors
Talk/vent to listeners on this non-crisis support chat line
Apply for a grant to receive financial help or a therapy box -> (Also learn about the Therapy Box Project! If anyone is able to donate, please do!)
- Sunflower
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intothedysphoria · 17 days
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Carol making Steve a profile on a dating app was nothing new. What was new was her matching him up with a fucking werewolf.
After his last particularly nasty breakup, Steve had mostly thrown himself into eating an unhealthy amount of Lucky Charms, dancing to what Carol called her “music to slutdrop to” playlist and losing at Mario Kart. It wasn’t a particularly fulfilling lifestyle but it stopped Steve from lying on the floor and thinking about the inevitable death of the universe.
Carol was not having any of it.
Her, Steve’s other best friend Robin, and Robin’s girlfriend Heather had apparently signed him up to Tinder. And Grindr. And some fucking foot fetish website that Steve just knew was Heather’s revenge for that one time he broke her stiletto during drag brunch.
“Steve Harrington. 24. USA. Queer. Failing witch. Interested in anyone who will have me. And is compatible with a Taurus.”
The last bit was so incredibly rude. Steve absolutely had standards, he wasn’t even that into astrology and he was not a failing witch. He’d only set the kitchen on fire twice and both times were Eddie fucking Munson’s fault.
Scrolling through profiles, there were a lot of incredibly hot people who all seemed like total dicks. Or were showing their dick. Neither of which Steve particularly had time for.
The occasional genuinely kind looking people either never added him back or had already found their person. Damnit.
Steve changed his setting preferences to only show other supernatural beings. That showed a little more promise, even if all the vampires Steve talked to came across way strong. Committing to be turned in like two weeks was a strong nope.
There was one guy who matched Steve who genuinely made him stop in his tracks. His name was Billy and he was a werewolf. Steve would have added potential Calvin Klein model to that list.
Billy was wonderful. He lived on the west coast, had an extensive collection of 1930s fantasy novels and was the alpha of a small but strong pack. Steve gleaned all of this information from half an hour of scanning his profile.
Actually messaging was less easy, even with emotional support from WHAM. Apparently Steve had gained the ability to use magic at the expense of being able to turn on King Steve at seventeen.
Luckily, Billy messaged him first. Direct but not too forward. Seeming clearly interested but nothing so basic as to be a line. It was enchanting. Steve was absolutely hooked.
He was a surfer. Steve wasn’t so gifted at the art of staying upright even on a board that wasn’t moving but he was determined to learn.
For Billy.
Being in a coven, Steve had less time to spend glued to his phone than he would have liked. There was always a fire to put out in Hawkins. Eddie was the only vampire in a ten mile radius and seemed to delight in trolling middle aged evangelicals. Dustin’s powers were so unpredictable that Steve constantly found himself rebuilding their house. And that wasn’t even touching on the demon problem they’d had since that creep Brenner had opened a portal seven years ago.
It was tiring. Steve was always dragged into the centre of it. At least Billy seemed to understand. He told Steve that he’d spent the last three nights trying to get Max, his younger sister, to stop shifting in public. Which made Steve feel slightly better.
Billy would always compliment him. Telling him he was adorable, he looked fantastic, he was doing so well. Steve found himself and his fully off the leash praise kink falling fast.
At least he didn’t seem to be alone in that sentiment as Billy declared that he loved Steve after about three weeks then retracted it, embarrassed. Steve told him it was ok, he felt the same.
As their relationship got more serious and Steve felt they’d moved from just chatting to proper couple shit, the one question weighing on Steve’s mind was how in the fuck they were ever going to meet up.
Billy’s pack in California depended on him completely for stability. Steve’s coven in Hawkins was much the same. It felt like the universe was forcing them apart, which fucking sucked.
He wasn’t much of a long distance guy but he was willing to try.
He’d try anything for Billy.
In the end, the way they met was a complete coincidence.
Steve was visiting Lucas’s girlfriend, who yes lived in California, but California was absolutely massive. The statistics were not in Steve’s favour.
Yet, from the pictures Steve had seen this was Max. Without a shadow of a doubt.
And then there was Billy. Beautiful and spectacular Billy. Who dropped his coffee cup when Steve walked out.
Steve was pretty sure he accidentally wolfed out a little by mistake. It was adorable.
They shared a first kiss on the beach while the sunset. Not bad for an internet relationship between a werewolf and a witch.
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finnlongman · 7 months
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About Me, My Books, and My Research (2024 Edition)
Hi, I'm Finn, a writer, medievalist, and all-round nerd. You may know me as the author of The Butterfly Assassin, "that person who wrote the trans Cú Chulainn article", the weird nerd in the Tumblr corner writing excessively long and incomprehensibly niche posts about their research, or something else entirely. I am all of those things! (Well, depending on what the 'something else' is, anyway...)
Currently, I'm a PhD student at the University of Cambridge researching friendship in the late Ulster Cycle (c. 12th-17th centuries). I have an MA in Early and Medieval Irish from University College Cork, and wrote my thesis about Láeg mac Ríangabra, my best beloved. I also have an undergrad degree in Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic from Cambridge, and wrote my dissertation about queer readings of Táin Bó Cúailnge, including transmasculine readings of Cú Chulainn.
You can find out more about my research on my website, which also includes info about all of my academic publications. This includes the aforementioned "trans Cú Chulainn article", an article about Láeg in the Death of Cú Chulainn, an article about the seven Maines, and a discussion of a conference on Caoineadh Airt Uí Laoghaire from the perspective of my own work on lament and grief. Whenever possible, I try to make my research available Open Access. If you're ever having trouble finding one of my articles, please contact me!
If you want recommendations for books about medieval Irish (or Welsh) literature, this list on my Bookshop page has all my go-to recommendations. If you buy via this link, I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you, so this is a great way to support me.
I am also an author, and I write both YA and adult novels. Again, my website is the place to go for all the info and links, but a quick summary:
The Butterfly Assassin trilogy (The Butterfly Assassin, 2022; The Hummingbird Killer, 2023; Moth to a Flame, 2024): YA thrillers about a traumatised teenage assassin who is trying (and failing) to live a normal life in a fictional closed city in Yorkshire. Featuring friendship, street art, Esperanto, zero romance, and a whole lot of murder, as well as increasingly unsubtle commentary on the UK arms industry and the military recruitment of vulnerable teenagers.
The Wolf and His King (coming Spring 2025 from Gollancz): a queer retelling of 'Bisclavret' by Marie de France which uses werewolfism as a metaphor to explore chronic pain and illness. Also very much about yearning, exile, and the mortifying ordeal of being known.
The Animals We Became (coming 2026 from Gollancz): a queertrans retelling of the Fourth Branch of the Mabinogi looking at gender, compulsory heterosexuality, and trauma, through the medium of nonconsensual animal transformations.
To Run With The Hound (coming 2027 from Gollancz): my take on the Ulster Cycle, looking at why Táin Bó Cúailnge is a tragedy and what it means to be doomed by the narrative, but not in the way you thought you were. Featuring a lot of feelings about Cú Chulainn, Fer Diad, and Láeg.
You can find out more about my recently-announced medieval retellings in this blog post.
I generally tag personal posts and selfies as “#about the author”; other than that, I think I’m pretty straightforward with my tagging system.
I’m very happy to answer questions about medieval Irish lit, my research, or my books, or just generally to chat. Send questions via asks, chat via DMs, and if you're looking for my articles, you can email me at finn [at] finnlongman [dot] com, which is also the best way to contact me for professional enquiries, whether academic or fiction related.
You can also find me on Bluesky, on Instagram, and on YouTube, where I (infrequently) retell medieval Irish stories for a general audience with lots of sarcasm and hand gestures. Technically I'm still on Twitter, but I'm trying to leave.
And finally, if you’ve found my research interesting or just generally want to support me, I have a tip jar and am always immensely grateful when somebody helps me to fund my book-buying habits: http://ko-fi.com/fianaigecht. You can also tip me directly on Tumblr if you like. I’m also a Bookshop affiliate, and you can buy books from my recommendation lists to support me and get some great reads at the same time.
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I’m all for Sherman rn but I think the prev ask had a valid criticism which I noticed too, that she doesn’t elaborate on the policies. I was on the stream for a few hrs, and I asked abt their agriculture policy, like what the plan was to get to what they had on the website, and someone in the chat from her campaign was the one to actually respond with an answer. There were some other policy questions I remember where she was like “read the website” or “contact Tanda”, which some of those were valid w like, trolls and the indigenous land back policy, but I think it’s a valid criticism to say that she should be able to summarize her policy confidently and move on, then if she doesn’t have the answer to the question then say that, maybe say that she’ll get back on it or smth, yk?
I get both sides.
I mean they do tiktoks like....idek how often. They don't do lives a lot.
Y'all seen how many times I answer the same questions over and over. It's exhausting for me. If I could redirect people to my team or my website instead then I would ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And Jasmine Sherman started sobbing near the end and revealed that they're not answering cuz they don't have the spoons. They're busy trying to run the entire campaign and fundraise and file, etc. That with the smaller stuff, like explaining policies already available on their site and YouTube anyway, they trust others to do that labor for them when its required.
And that the people who care about the campaign, will.
So they didn't answer cuz they trusted that someone else would.
This campaign is run based on Jasmines principles and that means saving the more trivial labor to trusted people while still speaking up, and hoping that supporters will be moved enough to propel the campaign along. It means watching a Black person actually have and express boundries, it means watching a Black person do Nothing while someone else does the work for them or saves them from having to do More labor.
It's frustrating yeah that they didn't give answers but I think it's a good wake up call for a lot of us too?
This is what those beliefs look like in practice. Like actually.
I will say I thought it was weird af too the first couple time and maybe someone should say something to them about the way it comes off when you're not aware How Sherman Works.?? Idk.
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