#Live Laugh Love Joel Lucas

[justalexx-things]

Protective Joel you are everything to me

Joel in protective mode

[Schloss Einstein - 1055]

[cxrdycxps]

Caught In A Trap • Joel Miller

☢️ sexual assault (past but there’s flashbacks and discussions) • victim shaming • description of injuries • blood • panic attacks • swearing • ☢️

Main Masterlist • Joel Miller Masterlist

This is part 2 of Cat and Mouse. You should really read that first unless you enjoy not understanding the narrative. Unfortunately this fic has a mind of its own and is gonna have a final third part. I know, I know. I hate myself too. It should be out by tomorrow night, yes I said that last time. No, I’m not lying this time. Thank you to everyone who has read, reblogged and commented so far. I love you all.

“It’s stupid. Isn’t it?” You asked Lou, pacing her living room. She had listened to you explain the whole date to her and now she was weighing up her opinion of what happened and you couldn’t take the silence. “I’m stupid. He’s fucked half the town. Why am I surprised he played me?”

“Like you played him?” Lou asked and you stopped your pacing to stare at her. She didn’t hide from your stare like most people tended to, meeting you dead on. You clenched your jaw before taking a seat and nodding. “Look, I love you. When two people have been through what we’ve been through, there are repercussions. We were items of use. We weren’t people. We didn’t get to have names or belongings or even autonomy. That way of living is going to leave a scar.”

“I don’t want them to have me any more. I don’t want to hide and just do as I’m told. I don’t want to have sex with a man just because he wanted it.” You told her with a sniffle, wiping your face. “But they all do it. They all do something and then they make it my fault, like I’m the crazy bitch.”

“Hear me out?” Lou asked and you nodded. “You keep picking men that make you crazy. Like Nolan right? He used you for sex. He wasn’t open about it but once you figured it out, you let it continue to happen. Abdul, had a reputation for having more than one woman on the go. Aidan was a misogynist from the word go. Luca wanted a housewife, not a partner. Every man you’ve tried to date has been really fucking shit.”

“They have to be. They need to be awful. There aren’t any good men.” Lou held her hand out to you and you took it, letting her draw you into a hug. You hadn’t realized that it was you that was sobbing. “There was so many and none of them tried to help. If there was good men they would’ve helped.”

“Those men weren’t banded together because they were good. They banded together because they were like minded individuals.” Lou told you, rocking you both from side to side. “You knew Joel Miller was a slut. You’ve heard more stories about him having sex than there are single, age appropriate women in the compound.”

“He was nice. He was nice and I slept with him and we, he made me laugh. No one ever bothered to do that. He offered to go home. He would’ve left if I didn’t want it.” You whispered and Lou shushed you again. “For the first time since Nolan I had sex on the first date. I wanted it this time.”

“While I’m sure Joel Miller is a great guy, that’s the bare minimum. I know you’ve never received it but respecting your right to withdraw consent is basic human decency.” Lou told you and you wondered what it meant that having your basic human rights respected felt like winning the jackpot.

“He didn’t mean it though. He got what he wanted by filling my head with false promises. Then he sent his kid, who wasn’t even suppose to know about us, to bail him out. He had expected me to give in.” You cried against Lou’s neck and she shushed you gently. “It felt good. For the first time. When I told him I had an ache the next morning he didn’t insist I just push past it. He was gentle with me.”

“Those are some more of those basic human rights. Absolutely no one should be trying to push you to agree to sex that will hurt.” Lou sighed and you blinked at her.

“It’s bad that I don’t know that, right?” You asked and she only shook her head, kissing your forehead.

“You were in that room for a long time. There was so much you missed, so much to learn. I’ll help you.”

///

Joel stayed to the rear of the group out on patrol. He was fixing to give Tommy a peace of his mind but heading out to kill a bunch of runners wasn’t the time. Tommy and Joel never argued on a patrol because they needed to have each other’s back.

So Joel didn’t give in to the temptation, keeping his distance from his brother who clearly didn’t see anything wrong in his actions. That just made Joel even more mad.

Ellie was on his shit list too because she knew better than to listen to Tommy. She knew better than to come looking for him on a night he said he wasn’t available to her. Boundaries were important between him and Ellie and he was pissed that she ignored him.

“I know that face.” Joel inhaled deeply because right now Nolan was the last guy he needed to see. He had been pissed enough to find him on the patrol but so far he had stayed well away. “Black Widow sunk her fangs into you, huh?”

“Do I look like I’m in the mood?” Joel asked, barely tilting his head in Nolan’s direction. Tommy looked back at Joel when he heard him speak and winced but turned and kept his face forward.

That pissed Joel off even more. Tommy had probably had something to do with Nolan being on the patrol. Joel clenched his jaw.

“She ended things?” Nolan asked and Joel stared resolutely ahead. “You said something bad, didn’t you? It was a joke or a throw away comment but little miss took it to heart.”

“Nolan, fuck off.” Joel warned, eyes facing forward. He couldn’t help but be relieved when Abdul heard the tension in his voice and dropped back. Abdul was a good guy and it might deter Nolan.

“Always ends it once she gets what she wants. Bet every conversation left you wrong footed. Had to feel like you’d make it up to her?” Joel inhaled deeply and stared at Tommy. He was willing to bet Ellie’s life there was no pack of runners.

“You can go and fuck yourself too.” Joel warned. He took measured deep breaths and remembered that he was liable to get in trouble if he hurt any of them unprompted. It wasn’t the same lawless land in Jackson. He couldn’t just punch people that pissed him off.

“Man, we’re trying to help you here. We’ve all been through it. This is what she does as some sick fucking revenge.” Abdul told Joel and he swallowed roughly. “She had some bad times outside the wall, got a little roughed up once or twice before Jackson.”

“When she got here she decided it was our fault. Let’s it look like our decision, you know? To pursue her. Happened to be in our line of view at the bar, we chose to talk to her. We didn’t choose anything.” Nolan piped up and Joel furrowed his brow. “Let’s you feel like you’re playing her then leaves you high and dry. Like you need to go looking for her.”

“She’ll bump into you a couple of times. Each time she’ll cause an argument or make you out to be an asshole. The next time she sees you she’s already forgotten about it.” Abdul spoke again and Joel felt his chest tighten. “Tells you all about her three date rule.”

“She doesn’t do one night stands.” Nolan scoffed and Joel looked over at him sharply. “She never does it, makes her feel dirty. Until she’s crawling into your lap like a damn bitch in heat.”

“That’s enough now.” Joel warned Nolan when his tone changed from conversational to direct anger.

“Safe, you made her feel safe.” Abdul finished and Joel realized that without a shadow of a doubt, he’s been played.

///

“Joel isn’t a dick.” You jumped, the rocking chair jolting with your movements. You raised your sunglasses off your eyes and found Ellie Williams standing at the top of your porch step. Unlike the times you had pretended with Joel, you genuinely hadn’t heard her coming and it sort of unnerved you. “It seems like he is but he ain’t.”

“Ellie, I’m sure he ain’t.” You sighed and set your sunglasses back down over your eyes and tilted your head back to continue absorbing the last of the Summer sun. “Don’t you worry about what I think about your daddy.”

“Okay firstly, that’s weird. Don’t say that. Joel isn’t my dad.” You lifted your head up again to look at her. “He and I went through a lot together but I only met him like two years ago.”

“Okay. My point still stands. I’m sure he’s a great guy. Don’t worry about me. I was just in a bad mood the other day, ‘s all.” You assured her. You didn’t want her to think bad of Joel, father or not.

“Cause I made you think that. I shoulda known better than listen to Tommy. Joel was having an off-duty night. We’ve got boundaries. Boundaries are important.” You sighed and sat forward in your chair. You knew that your relaxing had come to an end.

“Honey, I was mad at him before you knocked on that door. People like me, well, we got issues. I’m tryna work on them but I don’t always do that good.” You told her and she nodded, listening earnestly. “I had some rough things happen and now I play games with people. I can’t help it. I’m trying to find someone that can put up with me, pass my tests.”

“Joel can put up with anyone. He crossed the country with only me for company. I’m annoying as fuck.” Ellie told you with a grin and you huffed a laugh. “You should give him another chance.”

“I don’t think it’s in the card but you’re real sweet for tryin’ to fix things between us. It isn’t his fault really. I shoulda known better.” You explained and she frowned, crossing her arms.

“Is this cause Tommy says you dump men to punish them?” You clenched your jaw and wondered if you were going to have to have a word with Tommy. Tell him to mind his own business before you minded it for him. “I was taken by a man who wanted to hurt me before. I killed him.”

“Not all of us are that fortunate, kid. But if I ever see him again I’ll have a go. See if it fixes me.” You assured her. You ignored her comment about Tommy and leaned back in your seat again.

“I think that you’re making a mistake. Punishing Joel. He’s the only person I know who doesn’t deserve punishment.” Ellie spoke quietly.

“Me keeping my distance is the opposite of a punishment. I can assure you that.”

///

The key got caught in the lock. The hinges of the door squeaked. Every floorboard creaked and groaned. You were able to map the steps taken right up to the edge of the bed. The rattle of a belt buckle. Your arms ached from being tied above your head. “You just been waiting for me, huh?”

You gasped, springing up in the bed with a hand over your racing heart. The room was black with darkness and you fumbled for your lamp, knocking it over in your haste. You ignored the shatter of glass in an effort to get to the main light switch.

You fell against the wall, your panic urging you on. When your fingers closed around the switch and the light came on you could finally breathe.

You were in Jackson. You weren’t there anymore. You were safe and you were home. When your breathing was under control you looked down, unsurprised to find footprints of blood. You had walked on the broken glass.

You let yourself slump against the wall, slipping down to sit and take the weight off your damaged foot. There was no pain to feel yet, your nervous system still on high alert. You sighed heavily, head tilted back. As the adrenaline wore off and the pain kicked in there was no point in fighting the tears.

There you sat against the wall, sniffling and blinking while attempting to get all the glass out of your foot. Swiping at your eyes angrily when you couldn’t see and breathing deep through the sobs trying to fight out of you.

It was exhausting, feeling this way. There were tricks you had learned to make it better. When you had arrived to Jackson every night was spent like this, sobbing in your room cause you were scared of the dark.

Then you had met Nolan. And sure he was a little forceful in his come on but you found the nights easier with him by your side. You had felt safe from the nightmares that plagued your mind. Putting up with sex you didn’t really want was a small price to pay. He never took it forcefully, just spent his time convincing you and wasn’t that easier than what had already happened?

It wasn’t until you found out he had been enjoying your deep sleep a little too much that you had to call it all off with him.

You hadn’t ever told anyone that. Nolan was a valued member of Jackson. He was big and strong. He worked the patrol routes and fixed up houses. You just helped around wherever you were needed.

Nolan hammered home two harsh truths. The first was that there were no good men. The second was that you unfortunately couldn’t keep away from them.

So you played them at their own game. You got a warm body to sleep next to and they got their dicks wet. You made them work for it. You didn’t hand yourself over in a way that made you feel that skin crawling filthy, the way Nolan and all the men before him made you feel.

There was the introduction of your three date rule. You teased them. Made them want you with a desperation that made sure that they’d tell you all their dirty little secrets. The men of Jackson didn’t want to kick you out because you had dumped them. They wanted you out because you held their worst secrets close to your heart.

They feared the monster of their own creation. You wanted them to fear you. Every cheating, lying scumbag among them.

Joel had been different. He had risen to every single challenge you had offered. He had gone the extra mile for you. Sure he had said stupid things but never out of cruelty. Never to hurt you.

Ellie had told you that Tommy had orchestrated the bail out so maybe he hadn’t expected you to do whatever he wanted. Maybe he had been as much a victim of outside sources as you were.

You had wanted him in a way you had never actually wanted a man before. You hadn’t broken your three date rule in years, never since Nolan. But you couldn’t help yourself, crawling into his lap in a way that made you feel like the games were over.

You wanted them to be over. You wanted to be wrapped in Joel’s embrace, wanted him to fend off the nightmares and hold you when they broke through anyway.

You wanted him on top of you, gasping against your neck, pushing into you slowly. He had been so gentle with you, taking his time with you. He had been bashful about his size, almost apologizing until you had been begging him to fuck your harder and deeper.

You sniffled again and probed the skin of your foot, checking for any pain that could be caused by glass still being inside. When you found none you pushed yourself up, limping out of your room and hitting each light switch on the way, bathing your house in the golden glow.

You found your first aid kit in the bathroom and patched your foot up. The tears had stopped for the most part and you took advantage of that to clean up the broken lamp and the blood.

You’d have to visit the clinic tomorrow and get it checked out but for now the bandages would do. When you looked at the clock you found it to be a little after four. Acceptable enough to get up and start your day.

You wouldn’t be getting any more sleep with those images in your mind and the phantom ache in your arms.

///

“Joel it isn’t that big of a deal.” Ellie sighed, trying to shake the grip he had on her shoulder. He didn’t answer and she rolled her eyes at him, wiping the blood out of her face. “Shimmer is gentle usually, she just spooked.”

“She ain’t broken yet. I told you not to ride her.” Joel huffed, pushing her towards the clinic. She had slapped a piece of gauze over her injury and called it a day. He had half a thought to kill her when he had peeled back the gauze and found the deep wound. “Could’ve died.”

“You’re being dramatic.” Ellie sighed, shaking him at last when they pushed through the door. She let him talk to the receptionist, looking around. She blinked when she spotted you dozing in a chair, bandaged foot elevated on a table. Ellie looked over to Joel who hadn’t spotted you yet and grinned, moving to drop into the seat next to you. “Hey.”

“Fucking- Jesus Ellie. What the fuck?” Your eyes flew open and you almost bolted out of the chair. It was then Ellie took in how exhausted you looked. “Gonna put a fucking bell on you.”

“You just reuse all your lines like that?” Joel asked with a scoff and your eyes widened, turning to look at him and back to Ellie. “Got nothing original, huh?”

“What are you talking about?” Ellie asked him, wondering why Joel had his ‘I shoot people for fun’ look on his face.

You were saved from the conversation by your name being called. You pushed yourself up, ignoring Joel’s comments and barely took one step, limping heavily, before Ellie slotted herself in under your arm.

“I’m fine.” You assured her and she shook her head, resolute in helping you.

“She said she’s fine, Ellie.” Joel grunted. Ellie ignored him and supported you walking toward the treatment room.

“Thank you.” You lifted your arm from around her shoulders and supported yourself on the door handle.

She was in the treatment room by the time you had gotten your stitches. You were hoping not to see them again but just as you were receiving a pack of gauze and bandages Ellie stepped out, prodding her own stitches against Joel’s advice.

“What’s the verdict?” Ellie asked, slotting in beside you at the counter. You had been given a pair of crutches and you propped them under your arms.

“Four stitches, no pain meds and the threat of brute force if I’m caught working or walking on my foot.” You told her with a sigh, ignoring Joel’s glare. You felt sort of off balance having him this mad at you. It wasn’t anything you weren’t used to but you weren’t blackmailing Joel. You had gotten mad at him for a proper reason.

“I got four stitches too!” Ellie cheered and bumped her shoulder into your arms. “And I’m not allowed nap today. Just in case it’s a concussion. Joel probably won’t let me on a horse ever again.”

“Sucks to be you, I guess. I’m gonna nap all day.” You told her with a shrug, smiling when she laughed at you and shook her head.

“Yeah yeah, you’re a dick. You gonna be okay to get around? I can call by and help?” You frowned at Ellie, eyebrows furrowing at the effort she was suddenly putting in. “What?”

“Thanks for the offer, Honey. But it’s just a little cut. I’ll be fine.” You ruffled her hair before grabbing the gauze and bandages off the counter. “Stay away from them horses, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She sighed and you rolled your eyes before shuffling towards the door, your crutches clicking loudly in the silence that followed. Just before the doors closed behind you you heard it.

“She ain’t your friend. Stop acting like it. She’ll just let you down too.”

If there was one thing you wouldn’t let happen ever again, it was letting a man be right about you.

///

You spent a lot of time out on the rocking chair on your porch over the next few days. The summer was winding down and you were enjoying the last of the warmth before Jackson turned into the frost bitten, snow covered town it was in Winter.

Your foot hurt something awful but it showed no sign of infection which you were grateful for. Without pain meds the best you could do was stay off it.

Reading on the porch seemed to be the best way for it. And so you spent all of your time out there, watching the comings and goings of Jackson. The days were peaceful, allowing you to nap in the chair to avoid the fact you weren’t sleeping at night.

It wasn’t until the creak of your garden gate sounded on the fourth day that your peace was interrupted. Ellie had a large plaster slapped haphazardly on her forehead and a larger grin on her face.

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” You asked her with an eyebrow raised. She only shrugged, tossing her book bag down at your front door and taking a seat on the bench on your porch.

“Told them I had a headache. They sent me home. Except Joel is out all day on a patrol and I’m bored.” Ellie explained and you nodded, rocking yourself with your good foot.

“And you can’t call over here while Joel is around cause he told you not to.” You offered. She shrugged instead of denying it and you had to laugh a little.

“Like I said. Joel isn’t my dad. I don’t have to do what he says.” Ellie explained and you rolled your eyes at the pure teenage attitude that poured off her. “He’s afraid I’ll get attached to you. I once got attached to a book full of puns so he’s probably right.”

“Well I mean, you’re only talking to me cause I spent a night with your father figure and you feel bad for interrupting.” You teased and Ellie laughed.

“Nah. I heard about you way before Joel. I take note of women that men hate. It’s important to be feared by men.” Ellie told you honestly and you laughed, shaking your head. “I read a book about feminism. It was in my room in Jackson when we moved in. It’s important to have good female role models.”

“I’m not a good female role model. I’m the opposite of a role model. I sleep with men to get their secrets. That’s not exactly inspiring.” You reminded her and she shrugged.

“Well I ain’t gonna go copying you if that’s what you’re afraid of. Not like I’ll be sleeping around with the men of Jackson.” Ellie scoffed and you tilted your head at her.

“Is that right?” You asked with raised eyebrows. “I’m sure the women of Jackson will have as many secrets.”

Ellie flushed a deep red and sat up on the bench, her jaw hanging open. “I never said that.”

“Didn’t have to. I’m very observant.” You told her, letting your head fall back again. “I ain’t gonna tell anyone.”

“Ellie!” You winced and Ellie groaned loudly. It seemed Joel had gotten home early. You continued to rock your chair and took a deep breath. He was just as in the wrong as you were. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“More importantly, what are you doing here?” Ellie asked, laying back down on the bench. “It’s way out of your way.”

“Looking for you. I get back early and hear you’re suffering headaches and can’t find you anywhere.” Joel snapped, pushing in your garden gate. “I told you I didn’t want you hanging around here.”

“She ain’t doing no harm.” You sighed, you hated to get involved but she was shrinking in on herself, away from his anger. “Every kid played hooky once.”

“I didn’t ask you. Last thing she needs is to be hanging around you. She’s a kid, no games to be played with her.” Joel snapped and you huffed a laugh.

“That’s right. I’m the only one who plays games.” You told him, pushing yourself to your feet. You winced, reaching for a crutch. “You know what you did. All the games I played was to prevent you doing that.”

“Oh yeah, the same games you played with damn near every man in this town, huh? I heard it all, Nolan and Abdul had a lot to say.” Joel scoffed, grabbing Ellie’s backpack and waving her forward. She looked between you both before shuffling towards him. “We all had it tough outside Jackson. You don’t gotta punish everyone for it.”

“Is that right? They told you all about me, huh? That’s a silly game for them to have played.” You leaned against your porch railing and grinned at Joel, wide. “Get off my property, Joel.”

[justalexx-things]

Alles für die Wissenschaft! Live love laugh Joel Lucas 🩵

[joeygoeshollywood]

My 25 Favorite Films of 2018

It’s hard to believe that 2018 is already coming to a close. Here’s my 25 favorite films from the year!

25. Black Panther

Roughly twenty films into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the franchise certainly needed a pallet cleanser. Black Panther was certainly the antidote. Not only did we get a standalone film from a superhero we didn’t know much about, it took us on adventure in the fictional high-tech nation of Wakanda. Chadwick Boseman brings a freshness and a unique charm to the Avengers table and he’s accompanied by a very talented cast including Lupita Nyong’o, Letitia Wright, Dana Gurira, and Michael B Jordan, who was easily one of Marvel’s best villains to date. Writer/Director Ryan Coogler (Creed, Fruitvale Station) has established himself as a filmmaker on the rise and his career will not be stopping anytime soon. 

24. Boy Erased

Based on a true story, Boy Erased follows the son of a Baptist preacher and his unsettling experience at a gay conversion program. Lucas Hedges (Manchester by the Sea, Ladybird) continues to prove he’s one of the greatest actors from the millennial generation as a young man who struggles with his sexual identity. Joel Edgerton, who wrote, directed, and starred in the film, strikes a balance between intensity and raw emotion. And Nicole Kidman also gives one of her strongest performances in recent memory as the religious mother who goes on her own journey in embracing her son for who he really is. 

23. Sorry to Bother You

Sorry to Bother You cannot be defined by one genre. Part comedy, part fantasy, part sci-fi, and even part horror, this film from newcomer Boots Riley is an imaginative satire that tackles race, class, and capitalism. This marks the biggest and best role from Lakeith Standfield (Atlanta, Get Out) who stars as a telemarketer who quickly climbs the ranks only to find out that the company he works for has nefarious ambitions. There are a lot of WTF moments in this film that cannot be unseen, but it’s all worth it. 

22. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

What ended up being the best animated film of the year and of the best Spider-Man movies ever, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse reimagines the origin story of this classic Marvel superhero with a new cinematic web-slinger Miles Morales, who teams up with other Spider-Men from other dimensions in order to stop the threat to all of their realities. Between the unique forms of animation, a fun script, and a solid voice cast, Into the Spider-Verse rises above in a year filled with superhero flicks.  

21. The Cloverfield Paradox

When the latest chapter in the Cloverfield franchise dropped on the night of the Super Bowl, everyone rushed to Netflix for the surprise release. And while the critics weren’t exactly kind, The Cloverfield Paradox was still a wild, captivating installment. A group of scientists in space must solve the energy crisis that is causing chaos among nations on Earth, but while doing so find themselves entangled in alternative realities. Gugu Mbathu-Raw, Daniel Brühl, Chris Dowd, David Oyelowo, John Ortiz, Ziyi Zhang, Aksel Hennie and Elizabeth Debicki round out this strong, diverse ensemble. 

20. Mission: Impossible - Fallout

At 56 years old, Tom Cruise continues to defy all odds as he keeps his now 20-year-old franchise alive. Ethan Hunt’s latest mission was fitting enough to be his last as his efforts to once again save the world also has him grappling with questions about his own mortality and the loved ones in his life. One of the best action films of the year, Fallout is a ton of fun and filled with well-choreographed sequences and stunts from Cruise himself. 

19. Bad Times at the El Royale

What is fascinating about Bad Times at the El Royale is how much it felt like a puzzle. With its non-linear editing, every scene felt like an individual puzzle piece that once they come together give you a complete picture. Drew Goddard, the mastermind behind the modern cult classic The Cabin in the Woods, returns with a 60s-era crime thriller with a superb soundtrack, awesome production design, and a stellar cast that features Jeff Bridges, Jon Hamm, Dakota Johnson, Cynthia Erivo, and Chris Hemsworth. 

18. Support the Girls

Support the Girls is a small indie comedy from Andrew Bujalski about a general manager of a sports bar and grill who reaches a boiling point with her life. Regina Hall, best known for her role in the Scary Movie franchise and more recently in Girls Trip, gives the best performance of her career as the heartwarming and heartbreaking Lisa, who while hating her job puts her young waiting staff first. Support the Girls is one of the few films that’s grounded in reality and is a comedic display of ordinary life and the struggles that come with it. 

17. A Simple Favor

What was easily the most Hitchcockian film of the year, A Simple Favor marks a sharp tonal turn from director Paul Feig (Bridesmaids, Spy). Anna Kendrick stars a single mother who investigates the strange disappearance of her new friend (played by a terrific Blake Lively). Filled with unexpected turns and a few good laughs, A Simple Favor is a sexy thriller that expanded Feig’s talents.                                                                        

16. Thoroughbreds 

Part psychological thriller, part teenage dark comedy, Thoroughbreds resembles a contemporary Heathers. Anya Taylor-Joy (The Witch, Split) stars as a girl who relies her sociopathic friend (Olivia Cooke) to plot the murder of her awful stepfather. Newcomer Cory Finley makes an outstanding feature debut and is able to strike a balance between the tragedy and humor of this unlikely friendship. 

15. A Quiet Place

John Krasinski wrote, produced, directed, and starred in his second and best feature to date, A Quiet Place. Set in a post-apocalyptic world, a family adapts to living in complete silence in order to keep themselves out of harms way from these deadly creatures who hunt their prey by the sounds they make. Despite the script with barely a page of dialogue, A Quiet Place speaks volumes with high intensity and terrifying performances from Krasinski’s wife Emily Blunt as well as from child actors Millicent Simmonds and Noah Jupe.  

14. The Death of Stalin

Veep creator Armando Iannucci knows a thing or two about satire. This time, he takes his talents to the big screen with his political comedy The Death of Stalin. As the title explains, the film follows the death of Russian dictator Joseph Stalin and the tug of war over power among his Council of Ministers. The intellectual humor in the screenplay combined with the comical performances of an ensemble cast which includes Steve Buscemi, Simon Russell Beale, Rupert Friend, Andrea Riseborough, and Jason Isaacs marks one of the best comedies of the year. 

13. Hereditary 

Like a modern day Rosemary’s Baby, Hereditary is an unsettling horror film that surrounds the supernatural occurrences of a grieving family after the passing of its estranged matriarch. Writer/Director Ari Aster masterfully crafts a remarkable yet unexplainable thriller with the help of a career-best performance from Toni Collette. 

12. Three Identical Strangers

Sometimes life is stranger than fiction and there is not a better example of that than Three Identical Strangers, a documentary that tells the real-life story about triplets who were separated at birth who discover each other’s existence in college and their journey to discover the grim circumstances that pulled them apart in the first place. What really felt more like a suspense thriller, Three Identical Strangers is an unpredictable, fascinating film about family and the bonds that hold us together. 

11. Widows

Widows is a grade-a heist film from 12 Years a Slave director Steve McQueen and Gone Girl screenwriter Gillian Flynn. Viola Davis stars as a widow who settles one final score that was all set by her dead husband (Liam Neeson). Suspenseful and emotional from beginning to end, Widows is a female-dominated drama that features one of the best ensembles of the year, including Elizabeth Debicki, Michelle Rodriguez, Cynthia Erivo, Colin Farrell, Brian Tyree Henry, Daniel Kaluuya, and Robert Duvall. 

10. Game Night

There was not a more laugh-out-loud funny comedy this year than Game Night. It surrounds a group of friends whose game night takes a wrong turn when what’s supposed to be a fun murder mystery becomes very real. Not only does the plot have plenty of twists and turns, the abundance of self-awareness in this wacky film elevates it from the rest. Rachel McAdams and Jason Bateman do their best comedic work in years and they’re accompanied by a hilarious ensemble cast. 

9. Overlord

You don’t often hear of WWII horror films, but Overlord certainly delivers. The J.J. Abrams-produced flick follows a troop of soldiers who stumble upon a gruesome scientific lab where humans are the unfortunate subjects. Overlord is truly an adrenaline rush and the most badass movie of the year. After all, when it comes to Americans kicking some Nazi butt, the gorier the better. 

8. Annihilation 

Annihilation is one of those remarkable films that is so hard to describe. Natalie Portman stars as a biologist who joins a pack of armed explorers in a territory of land where mysteriously the laws of nature are nonexistent. Thought-provoking, captivating, and extremely intense, this female-led sci-fi drama felt like an out-of-body experience. 

7. Crazy Rich Asians

Easily the most enjoyable film of the year, Crazy Rich Asians offers plenty of sights, laughs, and heart. Based off the best-selling novel by Kevin Kwan, this romantic comedy follows NYU professor Rachel (Fresh Off the Boat’s Constance Wu) and her struggle to win over her fiancé’s very judgmental, very crazy, and yes, very rich family. Crazy Rich Asians features eye candy visuals, a fun soundtrack, and a talented ensemble cast. 

6. Roma

Oscar-winning filmmaker Alfonso Cuarón (Gravity, Children of Men) makes his return with his most personal film yet, Roma. Set in Mexico City in the early 1970s, the Spanish-language film chronicles the life of a middle-class family a maid named Cleo (played by newcomer Yalitza Aparicio). Shot in black and white and with incredible cinematography Roma is timeless story about family, class, and the human spirit. It is easily Netflix’s best original film to date. 

5. If Beale Street Could Talk

Oscar-winning writer/director Barry Jenkins (Moonlight) makes a strong return with a tragic love story about a pregnant young woman who struggles to get her fiancé out of jail after he was wrongfully accused of a crime. Based off the book of the same name, If Beale Street Could Talk felt more like watching a play. Along with the gorgeous cinematography and a moving score, this romance is carried by its two leads Kiki Layne and Stephen James as well as Regina King, who gives an Oscar-worthy performance as Layne’s mother. 

4. Eighth Grade

Middle school is the worst and no film has captured the experience better than Bo Burnham’s debut film Eighth Grade. Despite the ever-changing times, this indie comedy manages to connect adult audiences with eighth grader Kayla Day, who struggles to navigate through her adolescence all while attempting to build her presence on social media. Young actress, Elsie Fisher gives a grounded, comical, and sometimes painful performance and Josh Hamilton gives a strong supporting performance as her single father who tries to lift her spirits. 

3. Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

If you grew up on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, then this film will certainly hit home. Won’t You Be My Neighbor? showcases the life of a Presbyterian minister who developed of the most iconic, impactful children’s shows in television history and the struggles he faced along the way. The documentary features interviews of his family, the crew, and cast members, all who give insight of the genius that is Fred Rogers. Won’t You Be My Neighbor? is an emotional film that, if you’re lucky, will restore your faith in humanity. And be warned; there was not a dry eye in that theater. 

2. American Animals

Director Bart Layton has an incredible gift of making hybrid films. His underrated 2012 documentary The Imposter felt more like a mystery thriller. And with American Animals, since it’s based on a true story, he injects documentary elements into what normally would be a heist film. The story surrounds these four college kids who plan to steal an extremely valuable book from the campus library. The four leads do outstanding work, but Evan Peters (of American Horror Story fame) particularly gives the best performance of his career as one of the irresponsible thieves. With great editing and strong source material, American Animals is the best film of the year that virtually no one saw.  

1. The Favourite

It’s no surprise that The Favourite is the favorite film of the year. Yorgos Lanthimos, the previously unsung filmmaker behind The Lobster and The Killing of a Sacred Deer, brings the real-life 18th Century story of Queen Anne to the 21st Century and injects his twisted sense of humor. Olivia Colman stars as the neurotic, but hilarious ruler and Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz compete for her affection. Beautifully shot and superbly written, The Favourite is a remarkable, flawless cinematic masterpiece. 

[annichaos95]

Joel Lucas - Kapitalistisches Multitalent und professioneller Alleskönner!

It's Joel's world and we're just living in it

[regardezmoica]

The 63rd BFI London Film Festival programme

As always, the BFI is throwing THE FESTIVAL with some of the most expected films in the line-up. NOT TO MISS :)

OPENING & CLOSING NIGHT GALAS

THE PERSONAL HISTORY OF DAVID COPPERFIELD - OPENING

Directed by Armando Iannucci (The Death of Stalin) 

Starring Dev Patel as David Copperfield, Tilda Swinton, Hugh Laurie, Peter Capaldi, Ben Whishaw, Paul Whitehouse and Gwendoline Christie

European Premiere

THE IRISHMAN - CLOSING 

Directed by Martin Scorsese (Silence, The Departed)

Starring Academy Award® winners Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and Joe Pesci

International Premiere

HEADLINE GALAS

KNIVES OUT - American Express Gala 

Directed by Rian Johnson

Starring Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, Ana de Armas, Jamie Lee Curtis, Toni Colette, Katherine Langford and Christopher Plummer

European Premiere

THE AERONAUTS - The Mayor of London’s Gala

Directed by Tom Harber (Wild Rose)

Starring Academy Award® winner Eddie Redmayne and Academy Award® nominee Felicity Jones

A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD - BFI Patrons’ Gala 

Directed by Marielle Heller ( Can You Ever Forgive Me? )

Starring Academy Award® winner Tom Hanks, Matthew Rhys.

GREED - Headline Gala

Directed by Michael Winterbottom (The Trip, The Wedding Guest)

Starring Steve Coogan as Richard ‘Greedy’ McCreadie, Isla Fisher, Shirley Henderson and David Mitchell

European Premiere

HOPE GAP - Headline Gala 

Directed by William Nicholson (screenwriter of Les Miserables, Gladiator, Shadowlands) 

Starring Annette Bening and Bill Nighy

JOJO RABBIT - Headline Gala 

Directed by Taika Waititi (Boy, Hunt for the wilderpeople, Thor Ragnarok)

Starring Taika Waititi, Scarlett Johansson, Thomasin McKenzie (Leave no trace), Sam Rockwell, Rebel Wilson and Stephen Merchant.

European Premiere

THE KING - American Airlines Gala

Directed by David Michôd (Animal Kingdom, The Rover) 

Starring Timothée Chalamet, Joel Edgerton, Lily-Rose Depp, Ben Mendelsohn, Robert Pattinson

UK Premiere

LE MANS’ 66 - Headline Gala 

Directed by James Mangold (Logan)

Starring Matt Damon and Christian Bale

UK Premiere 

MARRIAGE STORY - The May Fair Hotel Gala 

Directed by Noah Baumbach (While We’re Young, Frances Ha)

Starring Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson

FESTIVAL AND STRAND GALAS

EMA - Festival Gala 

Directed by Pablo Larraín (Jackie) 

Starring Gael García Bernal, Mariana Di Girolamo

ABOMINABLE - Family Gala

Directed by Jill Culton and Todd Wilderman for Dreamworks

UK Premiere

BACURAU - Thrill Gala

Directed by Kleber Mendonça Filho (Neighbouring Sounds) and Juliano Dornelles

Winner of the Cannes Jury Prize 2019

THE DUDE IN ME - Laugh Gala

Directed by Hyo-jin Kang

JUDY & PUNCH - Dare Gala

Directed by Mirrah Foulkes

Starring Mia Wasikowska 

THE LIGHTHOUSE - Cult Gala

Directed by Robert Eggers (the Sutherland Award-winning director of The Witch)

Starring Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe

OFFICIAL SECRETS - Debate Gala

Directed by Gavin Hood’s (Eye in the Sky) 

Starring Keira Knightley, Matt Smith, Ralph Fiennes, Matthew Goode and Rhys Ifans.

THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON -  Love Gala  

In association with Malta Tourism Authority

Directed by Michael Schwartz and Tyler Nilson

UK Premiere 

THE TWO POPES -  Journey Gala

Directed by Fernando Meirelles (City of God, The Constant Gardener)

Starring Anthony Hopkins and Jonathan Pryce 

WESTERN STARS -  Create Gala

Co-directed by Thom Zimny and Bruce Springsteen

European Premiere 

SPECIAL PRESENTATIONS

Eleven Special Presentations shine the spotlight on new work from major directors.

BAD EDUCATION  in association with Empire - Directed by Cory Finley (Thoroughbreds) and starring Hugh Jackman and Allison Janney 

BLACKBIRD - Directed by Roger Michell (Enduring Love, Le Week-End, Notting Hill) 

BOMBAY ROSE Directed by debut director and screenwriter Gitanjali Rao

THE CAVE - Directed by Oscar-nominated Feras Fayyad’s (Last Men in Aleppo) 

FIRST LOVE - Directed by Takashi Mike 

GÖSTA - TV series directed by Swedish writer-director Lukas Moodysson

KRABI, 2562. -  Experimenta Special Presentation - Directed by two award-winning directors Anocha Suwichakornpong and Ben Rivers

LOVE, LIFE AND LAUGHTER - Archive Special Presentation - starring Betty Balfour 

OUR LADIES - Directed by Michael Caton-Jones (The Jackal, Basic Instinct 2)

PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE -  BFI Flare Special Presentation in association with Sight & Sound - Directed by Céline Sciamma and starring Adele Haenel

ROCKS - Directed by Sarah Gavro (Brick Lane, Suffragette) - Starring Bukky Bakray, Kosar Ali and Shaneigha-Monik Greyson 

OFFICIAL COMPETITION

FANNY LYE DELIVER’D, Thomas Clay’s intoxicating 17th Century drama with Maxine Peake in the title role

HONEY BOY, Alma Har’el’s artful and soul-baring examination of the lingering effects of emotional abuse, written by Shia LaBeouf, who stars alongside Lucas Hedges

LINGUA FRANCA, a beautifully performed character study of a Filipino transwoman and undocumented immigrant in Brooklyn, from writer/director Isabel Sandoval, who also takes on the lead role

LA LLORONA, Guatemalan director Jayro Bustamante’s taut genre-bending thriller about an elderly general haunted by a spectre of the past during his trial for genocide

MOFFIE, Oliver Hermanus’ haunting examination of the violent persecution of gay men under Apartheid

MONOS, a hallucinogenic, intoxicating thriller by Alejandro Landes about child soldiers high in the mountains of South America

THE OTHER LAMB, Małgorzata Szumowska’s beguiling, genre-tinged English-language debut examining life in an otherworldly cult

THE PERFECT CANDIDATE, Haifaa Al Mansour’s inspiring drama about a young doctor who becomes an electoral candidate to challenge Saudi Arabia’s strict social codes

ROSE PLAYS JULIE, an immersive and gripping drama from directing duo Christine Molloy and Joe Lawlor about a young woman seeking her biological mother

SAINT MAUD, the debut feature from director Rose Glass, in which a mysterious nurse becomes dangerously obsessed with saving the soul of her dying patient.

FIRST FEATURE COMPETITION – SUTHERLAND AWARD

ATLANTICS (Dir. Mati Diop). A hypnotic, genre-shifting portrait of a girl’s awakening. 

BABYTEETH (Dir. Shannon Murphy). A feverish Australian drama featuring a superb performance by breakout star Eliza Scanlen as Milla, a seriously ill teenage girl who falls madly in love with a young drug dealer. 

CALM WITH HORSES (Dir. Nick Rowland). Cosmo Jarvis gives a visceral performance in Rowland’s gripping feature debut as Douglas, the hired muscle for a crime family in rural Ireland. A

HOUSE OF HUMMINGBIRD (Dir. Bora Kim). Announcing a bright new voice in South Korean cinema, Kim brings both humour and elegance to her autobiographical debut in this absorbing coming-of-age drama about teenager Eunhee and her dysfunctional Seoul family circa 1994.

INSTINCT (Dir. Halina Reijn). Carice van Houten plays respected clinical psychologist Nicoline, who after starting a new job at a penal institution finds herself flirting with danger in her sessions with inmate Idris. 

THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANCISCO (Dir. Joe Talbot). Jimmie dreams of reclaiming the beautiful late 19th-century home his grandfather built, before hard times and changing demographics forced his family out. 

MAKE UP (Dir. Claire Oakley). A riveting psycho-sexual drama in which teenager Ruth travels to a seaside holiday park to stay with her boyfriend Tom, and one day finds evidence he might be cheating on her. 

RELATIVITY (Dir. Mariko Minoguchi). It is love at first sight when Nora and Aaron first meet on a rainy day in an underground station, but Aaron’s fate takes a dramatic turn and changes Nora’s life in an instant. 

SCALES (Dir. Shahad Ameen). A visually resplendent tale set in a small Gulf fishing village, where the population live in thrall to the otherworldly creatures of the sea. 

The BFI London Film Festival will celebrate international cinema from the 2nd to the 13th of October.

An advice, don’t miss it ;)

[wizardessheart-sideb]

The latest episode is here! Below the cut is a transcription

HEWWO!

Hello everyone, welcome to Royal Magic Academy Radio, a podcast about Wizardess Heart. I’m your host, Mari. So uh. YEAH, we had a lot of big stuff happen since the last episode, so let’s get on with the show.

GAMING NEWS

Event-wise, we got a joint Romance Point slot that brings back some of Elias and Luca’s past stories AND CGs. So it’s a combo of two guys AND stories and CGs. There’s a new star collection event, All Aboard the Mystery Express. I have to say I never expected to get a mystery train event, but I’ll take it. I think it’s a good theme and I like Hugo’s story. I haven’t read any of the other stories because I don’t care about them and I don’t have Klaus’ yet. 

We got Joel’s sequel! His main route early bird is still running, so we’re getting like Double Joel. Or in my case, triple Joel since I’m transcribing his main route so. It’s Joel season y’all.

We also now have quite a few new features. After years of asking, we now have a greet all button. While I’m glad this is a thing since a lot of people are happy about it, I personally don’t use it because using greet all and then sending people messages for that extra 20 Lune is a nightmare. I did a time comparison using my personal account and then the one I use to screen record stuff for Ceragon Dubs, and if you use greet all and then go into your friend list to send messages it’s a lot longer. But it wasn’t as long as how much time I spent screen recording, logging in and out of facebook accounts, and video editing and breaking out my phone and screen recording that for a timer.

There’s also a new feature on consumable items. I mean, that’s the best way to describe it. So basically, there’s now a thing called limited time items. As the name suggests, they’re only available for about 15 days, and if you don’t use them in that time, they disappear. So far, we’ve seen this with Story Tickets and Muffins. I imagine it will probably go over to the other snack items, but I don’t know about the others consumables. Time will tell, I suppose.

FUTURE EVENTS/SPECULATION

Okay so since we’re now getting the next batch of sequels, if we’re going in the order of the poll, Hiro’s is next. That is all. Although I do think we're gonna get season 10 first. But yeah, Hiro's should be next. Sequel-wise, at least.

CALL AND RESPONSE

And now we have the long awaited response portion of call and response! Everyone’s favorite segment where I have no clue what I’m doing, I take shit from Love Live!, and I am met with the realization if I were an idol my call and response would be the worst because I can’t think of anything, which is why we make Love Live references. Ngl I feel like my call would be like “Who’s my favorite audience member?” and then the audience is like “me!” and I fake mishearing them and I’m like “memes?!” and then we all dab or some shit because that’s my brand. Dabbing at everything. Okay but yeah so. I asked you guys to rewrite character bios so. Let’s have some FUNNNNN.

Okay, and I sort have things in the correct places so I can just read them. I mean "sort of" because I have to go through DMs and stuff, but... Okay so our first one is from @nadia-the-wizardess. And hers is for Hugo which of course it is, I love you dude. So she submitted... And I'm not gonna try to be a complete ham. I'm gonna try and have some dignity while reading these. "Friend or foe? The masked man seemed to be at every turn, either helping us or using us to his advantage. He claims he has come from the future to help put us on the correct path and change our tragic destiny. We still don't know what Hugo is truly planning, but despite all this, I've decided to put my faith in him and join him in his journey through time and save his-- our future!" And then her sidenote, "(God I hope I did this right sbhdnsns)." You did! You are all good and I - you know I love Hugo, probably… well…  probably just as much as you. Hugo is my best boy, so.

Okay, so. God, this segment is cursed. I… This is literally the fifth time I;ve tried recording this one little story because like my mic just keeps like cutting out. I need a brand new mic like this one is not cutting it anymore but anyway. So this call and response has a funny story behind it. So essentially like when I first get responses, I don't necessarily read them carefully at first, like I'm just kind of aware. Like “okay, like some.” So when I first did the call and response a while ago, um, I was vaguely aware that I had two and one was from Nadia and the other was from an anon. And so obviously like I push it back and then, uh, me and my friend have been chatting, who's not Nadia. That's the only identity clue I will give you cuz I'm not going to say who it is but um, *laughs* she's gonna be so mad though. So anyway, so me and my friend were talking and she was like, “Oh hey, I have a question so ‘theoretically’” in quotes, if she had sent a call and response answer to me like, would she have to make a new one or like whatever, like trying to figure out what's going on. And I said like honestly I’ll use whatever you give me because I do literally like whatever people spend in and I will use so it's a free-for-all, like I’ll use anything. 

And then she told me that was good because she forgot what she, and I air quote this, “theoretically” sent. And I was like, “Well you”... This was before I checked my inbox cuz I was like, “Oh, I’ll just go in and like copy paste in and put in our chat. So I was just like “You could always ask me to send you things” like if you don't remember what you do - andthis goes for anyone. Like if you send a response by not DM by like inbox and you don't remember what you wrote like you can totally just message me and be like, “Hey I sent this, I don't remember how I worded it exactly I'm worried that I messed it up could you please tell me what it was” and like totally go ahead and do that like I don't mind. So then, you know, like I went into my inbox so I was like, “Okay let's see what she said” and um. This is what she said. “Call and response for Sigurd (Feat. Leslie) - Sigurd's the only student who can equally terrify the staff at Olive Garden along with Klaus. With his overbearing obsession and appetite for any sort of pasta, he's best known as Klaus' right-hand man when it comes to needing a bud for their 2 for $12 appetizer promotions.” Not sponsored by Olive Garden. “I hear even though he currently majors in Magical Creature Taming, rumor has it he'll be switching to Culinary Magic for... ‘Reasons.’ Personally, I'd rather not know,” Same. “but if you insist...*Shrug”

And anyway this is cursed and yeah, I can understand why my friend did not want to like, confront me about this. Oh God, RIP. We got through it, she's fine.

So our next one is from @uraminowaltz and she has two and they're both for Klaus because of course they are. I should just rename this segment to me roasting my friends. Okay, so her serious Klaus one is: “Likes: Tea, sweets, challenging games, cooking. Dislikes: Coffee, Zeus,” Girl me too. “Irresponsibility, abuse of authoritative power. Hobby: Cooking, inventing magical tools. Skills: Unintentional romantic gestures, endurance with magic, WORKAHOLIC.” Yeah I-I felt that. I felt that. So the joke one: “Likes: His giant personal ring of 500 different keys. Dislikes: Losing his keys.” Also same. “Hobby: Making copies of his keys. Skills: Losing his keys PLEASE HELP HIM FIND HIS KEYS HERE IS A CROWDFUNDING LINK TO FIND HIS KEYS IT'S FUNDED AT 60%.” Oh, Klaus. Klaus. Honestly though when they did the Klaus II profile and it was like, thing that worries him, uh, losing, uh, lost his keys I was like goddammit. Like it just… It was one of those things that I didn’t realize was on brand for him, but then once I read it and saw it, I was like “Oh God yeah yeah that's his brand that's his... poor baby, that's his brand.”

Okay so our second to-  Actually, it might second-to-last I haven't checked the notes of that post so I guess I have to do that too. Okay so anyway, @sigurdcurtisholdsmegentle said… uh, did some, and you're going to be surprised who it was for. It was for Sigurd. So their joke one and they said… Their personal note for this was “Please actually kill me for this.” No I will not. You must atone for your sins. Uh... “Likes: Pasta. Dislikes: People who don't like pasta. Hobby: Naming spices in the pasta sauce. Skill: Cooking Pasta.” I'm very glad you did not put anything else because I would not want to read that out loud and that is NOT a challenge to anybody *laughs* So their serious one is: “Likes: Jazz music, Puns, The Rain, Make up.” Hell yeah. “Dislikes: His father, Himself, Ch… *laughs* CHICA,” I… We’re going for it. We’re going for the discourse and controvershy. The controversy. I can’t talk. Uh. Also dislikes “Blood. Hobby: Writing letters, Playing trumpet, Playing chess with Klaus. Skill: Decorating, Well timed exits, Running on little to no sleep.” Poor baby. But yeah I mean yeah. That's him. So the next one is... that they did was for Mel so it's “Likes: Apple cider, Plants, Perserving wildlife. Dislikes: Time Magic, Sol Felia,” It’s feh-lia not fee-lia, right? Like it’s not… I don’t feel like it’s fee-lia? I’m like pretty sure it’s feh-lia. Okay, it’s feh-lia now, I’m making the executive decision. It’s feh-lia now. Uh. “Oranges, Explaining.” God I felt that like whenever I reread Sigurd’s route, Mel's like “I don't want to explain” I’m like please shut up stop it like please, just explain. Good God. Like you're just making more trouble for yourself my dude. “Hobby: Sleeping in the greenhouse, Reading lore. Skill: Botany, Making wands, Flower” Oh my God, flower arrangements, that’s so cute. Oh my God, I love that actually. Like, I mean honestly like I liked all of them, but like that's so cute. That was super cute, I really like that one.

So, I don't think my call and response post had any notes. Except from people just liking it but I'm going to double-check cuz I'm not 100% sure.

Okay so it's time for our final call and response which will be my own. I literally have to bring up the my inspiration, my muse to *laughs* to do this. Okay so like, my whole inspiration for this prompt was the fact that like Azusa never got like an actual profile. Like it's all just question marks and um, we're going to fix that. And that's why I got the idea like, “oh that be really funny like everyone just rewrote things.” Let's go for the serious one first. That way I can do that and then I can goof. So my serious profile rewrite for Azusa and I did not write this beforehand, so… yeah! Let’s see… “Likes: his brother. Dislikes: hypocrites, himself.” Uh, that’s such a… *laughs*

That's such a mood. Every dude in this game is like self-loathing and some way. But I mean that's just how people are so I mean I guess it's not actually like that much of a stretch. But anyway. “Hobby… ………” Uh. You know, it's bad that I can't think of anything not just because like, I can't think of anything, but because he's one of my favorites and I'm like, “does he even have hobbies” like I'm not - I'm sure he does but I mean… “Hobby: telling Randy to shut up” I don't know. Uh, “Skill: onmyojutsu” just because we're basic and that was our serious one. And now for the fun one.

Um…. okay so, “Likes: his family. Dislikes: people. Hobby: ……….. you know. Skill: being a jackass” I don't know. I'm not even going to try and improv a description. Oh, poor Azusa. Although I do wonder if- when he gets a sequel, I wonder if that… I wonder if they’re gonna, like, continue making the, you know, kinda like additional info thing or if we’re gonna get like, a real profile for- Okay like, okay. I would be so fucking mad if like once he gets his sequel and they put like his like, um, like second profile thing and it's literally just all *laughs* it’s all question marks. I would be so fucking mad. I’d be like “come on PLEASE. PLEASE DON’T DO THIS TO US.” Okay anyways, so that was call and response. Thank you guys for coming on this journey with me. Um, that was fraught with recording problems and I'm not looking forward to transcribing this, but sometimes you just got to do what you got to do.

ROUTE REVIEW

All right, so it’s time to review Sigurd’s route. His route had come out a bit before I started playing, and I vaguely remember getting a notification about it, but honestly I don’t remember too much about it. I was playing Yukiya at the time and while I thought Sigurd was cute, I was too lost in the Yukiya sauce to do anything but Yukiya-related stuff. 

It honestly took me a while to play Sigurd’s route, like i played it for the first time last year, and like. I just genuinely enjoy Sigurd so much. Like he’s such a funny guy and so sweet. Falling in love with a guy like that just feels natural. And the story handled it super well too. The story balances plot and romance very well and they feel very cohesive. 

The plot was really solid, with enough ends left to get resolved in Mel’s route. But then again, I’m very partial to this mystery series and no, I’m not just saying that bc I cosplay sol maiden!Liz. It’s a good story idea, bront. Not to mention there’s like, a lot of fluff in Sigurd’s. I mean it absolutely has upsetting moments, but it’s just. Okay like I don’t mean to get on a soapbox or whatever, but it’s just. I feel like my culture gets inundated with these images of cishet relationships where men don’t treasure their partners. I acknowledge it’s toxic and it’s a serious problem and all, trust me this sort of thing is something I’ve taken enough classes on to consider it an unofficial minor, but like I’M SO TIRED OF SEEING THESE CISHET MEN BE JERKS TO THEIR CISHET GIRLFRIENDS. Like really, we’re gonna romanticize a dude being a jerk to his girlfriend and not show the repercussions of this sort of behavior and act like it’s normal? Really? That’s what we’re gonna do? So like any media that portrays a guy as being loving and smitten and affectionate with his partner is just. That’s so refreshing and so WONDERFUL like I eat that stuff UP. Like it’s so clear Sigurd is so taken with the MC and it’s just like hot chocolate on a cold day. 

So yeah the plot’s good and Sigurd is just. Wonderful. But I also love how much lore we got in this route. We got country names, continent names, what sort of extra curriculars the academy has. Even some Goldstein lore. In my opinion, the best routes usually have some hella cool lore details and this route had a lot. 

And this is a minor thing but. As someone who was raised with their cousins and stuff, they just nailed the cousin interactions between Klaus and Sigurd. I have a cousin who, as of now actually since birthdays, is the same age as me, although usually I’m older. My cousin and I mess with each other all the time and he bullies me constantly. I’m just kidding, I’m definitely the Sigurd to his Klaus. And like Sigurd and Klaus, we actually play a lot of games together, or play the same game at once. We’re both really into video games and his latest hobby is bullying my brand new Fire Emblem husband Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. But in all seriousness, the game handled then well and the only way they could’ve made it more realistic is if they kept poking each other and making weird noises at each other. I mean, do you REALLY have a cousin if you don’t greet them by screeching like a pterodactyl? 

Typing this all out makes me realize how weird my cousin and I are. 

Okay but anyway. This route is very good and Sigurd is just an absolute doll. I highly recommend reading.

BYE BYE!

And that’s it for us today!! Thank you guys for tuning in this week. I’m sorry this episode is late. I was going to record it yesterday but something happened and basically made me give up on doing anything I wanted to do yesterday. But anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode and hopefully next episode will be on time!! With that, have a great week! This is Mari, signing off.

[lightwise]

How about you? What are you guys grateful for? Reblog and share what TBB meant to you!

@clownery-and-fuckery @marvel-starwarsfangirl thank you for the tag! It's always a joy to see your posts and thoughts on this wonderful show!

I don't know if I can fully articulate what The Bad Batch means to me. We'd be here for hours, that's for sure. I had been a Star Wars fan for awhile but had put off watching TBB until right before season 2 aired, when I decided to finally catch up. And this little family of clone troopers and their sister captured my heart like no other show or set of characters has before.

I read constantly as a kid and loved immersing myself in fantasy worlds and making up my own stories based on them, but had no access to or exposure to communities where other people were doing the same. When I got back into Star Wars, discovered fan fiction, and began making friends in the fandom, I felt like a piece of me that my childhood self had never quite realized was missing was being fulfilled.

Being in this fandom has brought me incredible friendships, encouraged me to explore my long, rambling thoughts about characters' personalities and metaphorical connections within the show, to write fiction just for the fun of it both for myself and in collaboration with other people (hi @freesia-writes!), and has brought me so many laughs, heartfelt conversations, and incredible memories.

When I think of this show I think of people.

The Batch themselves, this different, "defective" found family who have always found hope and purpose in each other, who have helped me understand and accept parts of myself and others in my life, who never give up even when everything is stacked against them.

The creators of this show and what an incredible piece of media they have woven together--Jen and Brad taking George Lucas' characters and turning them into profoundly layered, realistic, and compelling personalities, Joel Aron and the entire animation team pulling off ground-breaking technical feats in lighting and animation, to the point where I sometimes think I'm looking at a photograph when I watch this show, to Dee Bradley Baker and Michelle Ang's utter mastery of their craft in bringing these characters to life, to the Kiners mindblowing soundtrack, to everyone engaging with (and trolling us) on social media because they really do love this show that much.

YOU ALL. Experiencing this show alongside you has been an honor and a joy and I wouldn't have gotten half the enjoyment out of it as I have seeing everyone's headcanons, fics, art, hilarious memes, getting into roleplay, having long conversations, bonding over our favorite characters, and getting to just play together in a sandbox that we all love. The last few years have been one long slog in my personal life and I couldn't have gotten through them without some of the people I've met here.

The show may be ending but my love for these characters and this fandom will always live on in my heart. Plus I have so many WIPs that need to see the light of day that I'll be here for years just for that alone 😂  Thank you all for this wonderful ride.

NPT to just a few of the people who have made these last few years such a joy: @freesia-writes @drafthorsemath @ladyzirkonia @jedizhi @dystopicjumpsuit @heyclickadee @eriexplosion @photogirl894 @im-no-jedi @the-little-moment @eclec-tech @sunshinesdaydream @clonethirstingisreal @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius

Before TBB Ends...Regardless of HOW it Ends...I've Got to Say Something...

In 2021, TBB was released, and over the last few years, it's grown to mean a lot to me. Not just the stories, the storytelling, the characters whom we've fallen in love with and hope to see more of someday, whose stories we've learned important lessons from, but how it profoundly affected my life.

And it is something I am incredibly grateful for.

Regardless of how the show ends, if it's something I'm going to love or be totally heartbroken over and hate, I'm so glad it happened and went on this journey.

For one, it gave me the plug to start writing. Writing was always a dream of mine but it wasn't until I discovered fanfiction, because of TBB, that I actually realized it. I had this idea of writing and thought I'd never really be able to accomplish that. The show enabled me to move past that and I've been able to be enflamed by my love for writing. It brings me so much happiness. No other show pushed me to write like this one.

Secondly, my writing has allowed me to touch and interact with people. I can't tell you how much it means to me and how thrilled I am to hear and learn my work has touched you in some way. I'm humbled by your words and taking the time to actually read and appreciate what I've written.

Thirdly, I've gone on so many adventures, crazy amazing adventures because of what other brilliant minds I met through the show have written. There are SO many great stories that just hit me so.....I was touched by your stories that you wouldn't have written if you hadn't watched the show!

Lastly, but CERTAINLY not the least, I have made SO many friends and writing buddies because of this show. It has connected me to so many cool people that I otherwise may never have found. I've grown really close with some of you, while others, though we may not be friends per say, I hope we can someday. In the meantime, I will admire your work from here. You guys mean so much to me and I can't even begin to express how wonderful it's been getting to know you over the past few years. The fun experiences we've shared, the theories, the stories, all of it. I am not putting this as well as it was in my head so please forgive that.

This includes but isn't limited to: @eclec-tech @photogirl894 @apocalyp-tech-a @lizartgurl @jedipoodoo @arctrooper69 @carolinetano7567 @trapezequeen @ghostofskywalker @masterjedilenaaa @ladysongmaster @moonstrider9904 @klmwrites @techs-stitches @ovaa-bi-bia @frostycatblr-fandom-files @imabeautifulbutterfly @sverdgeir @oceansssblue @marvel-starwarsfangirl @jedi-hawkins

How about you? What are you guys grateful for? Reblog and share what TBB meant to you!

Copy and paste the red as your header and let's see how many people we can get so share their stories!

I will end with no other quote than this!

"With love comes loss; it's part of the deal. Sometimes it hurts, but in the end, it's all worth it. There's no greater gift than love."

[thebeautifulisalwaysbizarre]

Emotion O’Pit (a tribute to Skam France)

So this is it, then. The day I thought would never come, the day I refused to see coming, the day I wish I could avoid. Tonight is the end, at least for now (until they announce a renewal, right?). I’m devastated and i’m going to keep being devastated for a while. I’m not ready to let go. I’m going to miss this show and these characters so much. They’re a part of me and it kinda feels like losing a limb, not gonna lie. Sounds childish, doesn’t it? I can only imagine how weird and blown out of proportions it can seem for an outsider. But i think anyone attached to this show as much as me gets it. I feel like i’ve lost something that was so rooted in my life that i have forgotten how it feels to live without it. I can’t recall another show that impacted me that much, that literally became my life. I can’t recall not anxiously waiting for a clip to drop, or for texts updates, or for ig posts. I can’t recall not clowning about the future. I dived into this on the seventh of January and I had no idea of what i was getting myself into. Twenty two weeks, almost half a year. So little time in the grand scheme of things, yet so much. So much that I can’t remember not being obsessed with this. I never got out since, and now i have to, and I don’t know how to do that. I’ll manage, sure, but for now i’m just extremely messy and sad. I’m scared, I’m terrified, but this is fine. Yet this post is not only a goodbye post. It’s not even a goodbye at all, it’s a “later”. As we say in French, it’s an “au revoir”. Until next time. I am sad, perhaps unhealthily sad, but i am so so happy and proud, and thankful. And i regret nothing. This show is something i never thought i would get to have in my own language, in my own country, in my own city. France is a mostly tolerant and open country, and i am lucky to live here, and to be able to live here, but it has also hate. A million people protesting against LGBT+ rights; islamophobia that becomes the norm because people are scared and scarred, so they hate; and racism so deeply rooted that people don’t even wonder anymore. And so much ignorance too. So many are like Ingrid, ignorant and hurtful without meaning it most of the times. Not filled with hate, but filled with so much ideas and prejudices it’s so hard to realize that what they say is wrong. And against those people, we have two choices: we can let their ideas spread and we can be slowly but surely consumed by hate, or we can try to save things, to salvage the values we love and follow. Skam France chose the second path. Of course it’s not perfect and has flaws, even major ones (Charles and Manon i’m looking at you), but the people making it, all of them, refused to watch things unfold without doing anything about it. They took the hardest decision, the one that states that you can change people and their ways of thinking, that you can educate them and show them that they are wrong, that we can’t give up because the fight is hard. Will it work? Will the behaviors change? I don’t know, nobody knows for sure, and i don’t pretend to say that Skam France will change my country and erase some of its problems. I like to believe I am neither that naive nor that pretentious. But it could be one of the many stones that build the edifice. It could help. And above all, even if nothing changes, even if hate consumes things after all, at least some people out there will have tried to change that course. But I don’t think all hope is lost, i believe that media and cultural products can change the way a society lives and thinks. Call me a naive optimist, but i really have faith that some of the people that are ignorant today would be willing to learn tomorrow. Skam France, and all of the other things that fight for minorities, will not be for nothing. I refuse to believe that. So this post is a tribute and a thank you for not giving up, for believing that “hate spreads, but fortunately love does too”, for trusting that “love always wins” in the end, that it doesn’t balance out. That love is stronger than hate, and that it will always be, no matter what. Thank you for characters that feel so real they could be my friends. Thank you for mains in which we see so much of ourselves. Thank you for Emma and Manon and Lucas and Imane, and their stories and their fights. Thank you for all of the people around them, helping them, accepting them, loving them. Thank you for the ones that didn’t stick around because they were scared, or ignorant, or vicious, and proved that, even if it’s hard and painful and shouldn’t exist, you choose your family. Thank you for the love stories and the friendships. Thank you for showing us that we are never alone, and that we are never unlovable, no matter what our brain and body are made of. Thank you for the musics and the cinematography. Thank you for the weeks of agony and the weeks of laugher. Thank you for the endless stress and clowning and joy and frustration and despair and relief.  And most of all, thank you for my friends. Thank you for having given me people that i cherish with everything that i have, and that i love so much it terrifies me sometimes. Clara, thank you for this. I can never be grateful enough for what you have gifted us with. To you all, thank you for everything too. Thank you for the clown empire (i’m going to miss our crazy theories more than anything) and the advice and the endless support. Thank you for showing me that i might deserve happiness. Thank you for listening to me and being my collective Gerôme. Thank you for making me slightly more secure and slightly prouder. Thank you for the laughs and the tears. Thank you for all the vendreading (there will be more, I will keep on believing that until I am proven the contrary), and for Corentin, and for noises, and for the weather, and for Joel Dixie, and for nails and saints, and for pineapple and sunit and déodorant. Thank you for teaching me so many things. Thank you for being so awesome all day every day. And thank you for what’s yet to come, because we are not going anywhere. Thank you for the weekend coming, and August, and everything before, in the middle and after that. We are together, whatever happens next. Les Élus are a team, and we will continue our usual chaos. It’ll be “Chaos in The Discord, minute by minute”, and that is a promise. I won’t let you go. I love you.  Lastly, there is this quote from Doctor Who that i found fitting to the occasion: “Everything ends and it's always sad, but everything begins again, too. And that's always happy. Be happy.” So, to whoever is reading that, be happy. Be proud. Be kind. Be loving. 

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Boy Erased

This is my last review of 2018! I wish I wasn’t ending on a downer, but that’s just the way it goes sometimes. This movie falls into the category of “films that I know I should see because they’re important but wowie wow what a drag” - basically most movies that get nominated for Oscars fall into this category for me. And Boy Erased is a true story about gay conversion therapy so, because I’m not Mike Pence, it’s hard to muster up the enthusiasm to watch something so depressing. So I guess the question is, what did this Important Oscar Movie teach me, and was it worth going to the movies for? Well...

I don’t know that it would teach me or any other LGBTQ folks anything they didn’t already know. But the performances are strong, the lessons are important, and the human connection is real. Directed by Joel Edgerton (who also stars as the lead counselor of the program) Boy Erased is based on the 2016 memoir of the same name by Garrard Conley and it details his time in a gay conversion therapy program. In the movie, our protagonist is named Jared Eamons (Lucas Hedges), and he is sent to this program by his fundamentalist Baptist minister/car dealer father (Russell Crowe) and his mother Nancy (Nicole Kidman). What follows is a detailed look at how Jared got here, and the “education” inflicted on the young men and women in the program. 

Some thoughts:

I hope you know I don’t mean this lightly - the absolute weirdest thing I have seen in a film in 2018 is the bassist of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Flea, in a polo shirt, screaming at kids about how to pray the gay away.

Nicole Kidman is getting all the buzz for an amazing performance, but honestly it was Russell Crowe that blew me away when I wasn’t expecting it. 

The most affecting thing about the entire Eamons family is that they truly believe this conversion therapy is going to work. The parents are doing this out of love, not punishment - they’re not kicking Jared out, they’re trying to save him, much as you would someone who has a drug addiction. And Jared wants to go fix his “problem” and has hope this program will do it! It’s all shown as very optimistic and positive for the family, which is unsurprising given the predatory nature of the business, but I was still a little shook up by it.

Lucas Hedges has to carry so much as Jared, and he does a fantastic job tapping into his anger and his confusion. I will say, I didn’t feel we got to see into Jared’s vulnerability very much - it always felt like there were walls around him. This makes sense given his inner conflict, but as a viewer, I wish I could have gotten more a sense of who he was when he wasn’t hiding.

[TRIGGER WARNING] Why was there a long, unflinchingly traumatic rape scene?? Why was it like this?? Joe Alwyn, why???

People laughed at the end of the film when it said Sykes (Joel Edgerton, the lead counselor) lived in Texas.......with his husband but um. That's not funny. It's awful and so sad that he tortured people in the name of something he couldn't accept about himself. We see what that does to Jared and the other kids, why would it be different for Sykes?

There were very few lesbians in the class, but there was one, Sarah (Jesse LaTourette) and I was so affected by her. She had very little time onscreen, but I wish we spent more time with her and her story, and Jared seems to feel the same way as they have a kindred spirit vibe about them that just feels heartbreaking.

In case any of this feels like it’s so far removed from reality as to be ridiculous, there is a scene at Jared’s dad’s car dealership where they pray at the beginning of the shift and I got vivid, visceral flashbacks to the work Christmas party at my last job in which the CEO led a 10-minute long prayer session blessing us all in the pure glory of Christ’s love. That shit is REAL, y’all.

Obviously we get to see the ugly details of the program up-close, and they’re meant to be shocking. Moral inventories of the participants’ family trees; role-playing exercises encouraging screaming matches against stand-ins for Dad; a mock funeral held for a participant (Britton Sear) followed by his family beating him with Bibles in front of everyone. It’s all awful, of course, but it just feels like a movie for straight people because the gays already know all this. We know the horror stories, we know the suicide statistics. So while I am VERY appreciative this movie exists, it’s a weird experience to feel like it’s meant for me while also not really meant for me at all. 

The grim reality of the matter is that ex-gay and gay conversion therapy programs are still legal in 37 states. And by sheer numbers and advocacy power alone, the straights are the ones who are going to have to wake up and fight that fight with us or else nothing’s going to get done. This movie is powerful, mainly from its emotional performances, but also a necessary teaching tool. Is it entertaining? I mean, i wasn’t bored. But mostly it’s important, and if you’re a fan of important movies, I can definitely recommend this one.

[justalexx-things]

Live laugh love Joel Lucas

Ich habe heute ein Auto von der Fahrschule Sponer gesehen. 🥺

[eggymovies]

2018-A Year In Review

I sat down and watched a movie 206 times this year. Of those, 118 were in a movie theater. I’ll spare you the long essay about what movies mean to me and why I go to the theater. Simply put, I love it. I thought I might suffer from fatigue this year as I committed to my goal of seeing 100 movies in theaters and 200 total including movies viewed at home. I didn’t at all. I’m still as excited for my next trip to the theater as I was a year ago. Thanks to anyone who recommended a movie, or talked to me about a movie, or went to the movies with me this year.

My top 20 is listed below, with some notes and photos, getting more detailed from 15-11 and again from 10-1. This list has changed constantly, even today as I added the final touches. It will change again, but the top 10 feels fairly secure. I loved so many more movies than just 20 this year. I’ll share a full list of everything I saw soon, but for now, here are my 20 favorite movies I saw in a theater in 2018.

20. Hereditary (Ari Aster)

19. Can You Ever Forgive Me? (Marielle Heller)

18. Set It Up (Claire Scanlon)

17. Suspiria (Luca Guadagnino)

16. Free Solo (Jimmy Chin, Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi)

15. Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse (Peter Ramsey, Robert Persichetti Jr., Rodney Rothman)

The cure for the common comic-book movie, which seems counterintuitive when praising as the first major-studio comic book movie to properly utilize the medium it’s adapted from. Refreshing, rich, diverse characters in a fun, tightly written and brilliantly voice acted 120 minute film that feels like 80.

14. A Star Is Born (Bradley Cooper)

Hollywood myth-making and storytelling bordering on parody, but so self assured it succeeds. That the audience believes and cares about Brad Cooper as a 2018 country-esque rock star getting drunk at a drag bar and discovering/falling in love with a Gaga-esque star played by Lady Gaga is a miracle. Except it’s not. It was by design. Cooper’s design.

13. The Favourite (Yorgos Lanthimos)

A three-headed monster of devilish humor and deceptive charm. Olivia Colman should (and probably will) win an Oscar to match her academy-award winning costars who are equally brilliant. Rachel Weisz is equally brilliant. Also, it’s hard to be a massive movie star AND a generational acting talent, Emma Stone is somehow both, with ease, and she’s just getting started.

12. Paddington 2 (Paul King)

The antidote to whatever ailed you in 2018. A monstrously charming and disarming delight. Just too damn enjoyable and uplifting to not include here. Hugh Grant and Brendan Gleeson are shockingly committed in what could have otherwise been mailed-in performances for a quick paycheck. You’ll fall in love, I assure you.

11. Black Panther (Ryan Coogler)

“I’m just feelin’ it”-Erik Killmonger

TOP 10

10. Burning (Lee Chang-dong)

Lee Chang-dong adapted an 11-page Murakami story into a 2 1/2 hour movie, creating a world and character view point so lived in and fully realized that the mystery taking shape at the center requires no flash or flare to thrill. And good lord does it thrill. I suspect this will move higher with a second viewing. Steven Yeun has received worthy praise, but Yoo Ah-in gives this movie it’s point of view and captures the mystery and tension building throughout.

9. Support the Girls (Andrew Bujlaski)

One of the most heartfelt, empathetic, funny, and purely pleasurable movies I saw all year. An “everything that can go wrong will go wrong” day in the life of the manger at Double Whammies, a Hooters-esque sports bar. Regina Hall is stunning in one of the year’s best performances by far. Haley Lu Richardson has as much (or more) charisma than any actor currently working. More of both, please.

8. The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs (Joel & Ethan Coen)

I have many thoughts and feelings about the Netflix distribution model but being able to watch The Coen Brothers, an anthology of death set in the American West, 3+ times since it was released only two months ago has been a treat. Each chapter is so darkly funny and sharply written that I fail to keep a consistent ranking of all six in my mind, though “All Gold Canyon” and “The Mortal Remains” are usually around the top. The latter has some of the best dialogue the Coen’s have scripted, which is impressive considering their filmography. Watch it now. Watch it whenever!

7. Lean On Pete (Andrew Haigh)

A gorgeously written film about determination as a result of, and in an attempt to avoid, one’s grief. Slow and controlled, with a deeply moving conclusion that has not left me. Charlie Plummer is wonderful, and Sevigny+Buscemi disappear into their roles with such ease. 

6. Beast (Michael Pearce)

When I walked out of Beast I tweeted: “Watching BEAST felt like holding a stick of dynamite, lighting the fuse and being so mesmerized by the spark, you forget it’s going to explode... until it finally does.” Haven’t thought much about the film since, but sometimes it’s just about the thrill of the moment, which this movie gave me.

5. Mission: Impossible - Fallout (Christopher McQuarrie)

A masterclass in movie entertainment so absurdly enjoyable that, during my SECOND viewing, I consistently laughed out loud from sheer surprise at how genuinely thrilled I was. McQuarrie and Cruise’s prime objective is to entertain, and though the latter may legitimately die trying, they continue to achieve their goal in breathtaking fashion. Between Edge of Tomorrow (written by McQuarrie), and MI:5 (Written and Directed by McQuarrie) these two are on a tear and I hope they never stop.

4. First Reformed (Paul Schrader)

Delicate and destructive. A deliberate and direct story about the damaging physical and emotional violence humans inflict on each other, themselves and the world in acts of self-preservation. How can we fix the damage we have done? Is there a god, and will he forgive us? Can we forgive each other? Ourselves? This movie sits with me every single day, and I can’t shake it. Ethan Hawke is transcendent. 

3. Roma (Alfonso Cuarón)

Astonishingly gorgeous portrait of one year in the life of an upper-middle class Mexican family, told through the eyes of their nanny; a micro story told with macro sensibilities and massive scale. Equal turns heartbreaking and life-affirming. Cuarón (who was his own cinematographer) imbues each frame with more beauty than most movies accomplish in their full run time.

2. Minding The Gap (Bing Liu)

I’m still struggling with how to talk about Minding the Gap, a film about young men, skateboarding, generational cycles of abuse, and trying to grow up and survive in a dying suburban America. That may sound lofty and overly ambitious, but Bing Liu’s honesty, empathy, and vulnerability as a filmmaker and subject make this one of the most moving and surprising films I’ve seen in years. Watch it on Hulu right now.

1. First Man (Damien Chazelle) 

Stories about space, especially the moon, have always made me emotional. They fill me with as much wonder as they do dread, simultaneously evoking connection and isolation in extremes. Damien Chazelle’s focus in this film is on the man, not the mission. We all know what Armstrong said when he touched down and I can’t stop thinking about that in relation to this movie. The moon landing was a collective achievement, a crescendo, witnessed by the entire world, marking the culmination of technological advancements and evolution millions of years in the making. Neil Armstrong was a hero, an avatar for the entire human race, but what he experienced was solitary. He was alone in that moment, and perhaps long before. This movie is the story of someone so sad and desperate for a moment of peace and quiet that he risks his life and goes to the moon for it. I wept openly with mouth agape for 20 minutes at the end. This movie will eventually be realized as the masterpiece it is. Chazelle is special, and the Justin Hurwitz score is incredible. I'll be watching this movie for the rest of my life.

[justalexx-things]

Live laugh love Joel Lucas 🩵

[abitterlifethroughcinema]

THE SITGES Film Festival- Happy Samhain 2020 REVIEWS, VOL. II by Lucas Avram Cavazos

For starters, a couple of docs that skirt socio-cultural issues but are right up this critic’s alley…history. The Quiet Revolution: State, Society and the Canadian Horror Film looks at just how social and political tensions of the 60s and 70s within North America differed between the US and Canadian territories, and that aided in the creation of on-fleek horror film traditions from then until the present day in Canada but obviously beyond, as well. Think Montreal in those times and know that it bred a revolution in French-language cinema. Throw in filmmakers like David Cronenberg, whose son won Best Film this year at Sitges 2020, and we start to see that the difference between US horror and Canadian horror has distinctly been shaped by the differences in the state from which they are helmed. Nice touch with bountiful shards of film clip examples to illustrate for dorks like myself. ###-1/2

Be Water tells the story of Bruce Lee but in such an unexpected treasure kind-of-way, as so much unseen and long time not-seen footage of Bruce and his family makes the film rife with historical depictions. I never knew that he was a kid actor star for Asian cinema devotees across the globe AND that he was born in San Francisco. The documentary title is derived from one of Lee’s core philosophical beliefs and it must be clearly stated that water being fluid as it is, smooth and crystalline as it is and yet hard as anything else, capable of breaking down dams, walls and even presidencies. Superb and informative if not definitive. ####

Ahhh Becky…such a lauded name these days with Beyonce fans and the like…Telling the tragic story of lil Becky (young horror film maven Lulu Wilson) who, after losing her mother a year or so before, is doted on by her loving father (US comic actor Joel McHale) who, one day, takes her away for a respite to a) continue the healing process in nature; b) assure her they will keep their country home; and c) let her know that his now girlfriend is about to become her new mommy…with lil brother in tow. Insert a common theme in the US (the world?) right now and white supremacism rears its scary-ass head in the name of some scary, escaped convicts (led by chunky-and-charming King of Queens star Kevin James) and the hit gets real...really quickly. The unexpected force? Tween kween Becky and her boiling pre-teen angst/anger. Chil’! This film gives good thrills! ###-1/2 (now premiering on Movistar+)

There was a moment whilst screening Catalan director Lluis Danes’ interesting La Vampira de Barcelona where I felt a sense of deja vu, a sense that I was back in the 90s watching an intriguing arthouse film documenting a little remembered piece of history. At times it felt like a mix between a low-budget Age of Innocence mixed with a sincere element of Ferrara’s The Addiction. Detailing the story of Enriqeta Marti i Ripollés, known as the Vampire of the Raval or Vampire of Barcelona as the film title suggests, it has nothing to do with blood sucking and much more to do with the fact that she had connections in high places and made deals that provided children for the sexual pleasures of men amongst the rankings of high society. This spanned over years and allegedly claimed the lives of over a dozen pre-adolescent children. Some researchers have disputed this claim and deemed her merely a mental case, but this film takes the necessary steps to analyse the documented case. Winner of the Audience Award for Best Film at this years’s festival, the film opens in local cinemas on the 20/11/20. ###-1/2

Spree was a superb piece of celluloid to screen for this year’s Sitges film festival and is yet another social reflection of how the demented realm of youngsters without scruples but plenty of social media contact make for a bleak AF future. The movie tells the story of Kurt Kunkle (Stranger Thing’s Joe Keery) who is beyond obsessed with social media stardom and concocts a way to attain that by attempting to coerce a kid he used to babysit (and who is now a social media influencer) to aid him grab more live stream viewers. But what ends up happening is a slow, maddening yet funny descent into a psychopathic spree of death or near-deaths that border on all-too-real yet achingly not-real tidbits of modern reality, especially for this under 20! Superb as a thought piece, creepy thrill ride and post-modern drama. The film is now streaming on some international Amazon Prime platforms but should also see an indie cine release by early next year. ####

The Old Man: The Movie was so much fun to screen! It was like going into the millennium-style, sardonic and sarcastic humour that I so gravitate to and spinning it through an Estonian milk to butter churn. Helmed by Estonian filmmakers Mikk Magi and Oskar Lehemaa, this animated (personal fave) film goes off telling the fabled Estonian story of how cows explode and wreak havoc when doing so if they are not milked every day or so! Apparently, this tale is told to kids in Estonia and is brought to life with the story of farmer/milkman, Grandpa, whose three grandkids come to visit for the summer, only to learn a valuable lesson or two when their trusted dairy cow goes missing. What ensues is such a silly laugh riot, and yet it also touches on human emotions and fantasy at the sane time and in such a wonderfully unique way. Though released in its native Estonia late last year, it is still hard to come by and I’m grateful to have screened it this year! ####

While I was screening Polish director Lech Majewski’s latest odd offering called Valley of the Gods, it was hard not to feel an overwhelming feeling of otherworldliness. The feeling of deja vu was too true, with a tinged air of Lynch mixed with the opulent director’s-eye of Sorrentino and a dash of Kubrick-style art-rendered-reality...even that might only start to begin to explain this piece. Telling the story of a man’s breakdown due to love’s labour lost, we follow John Ecas (Josh Hartnett) trying to break free from his sadness by immersing himself into the work of a man who is an old trillionaire (John Malkovich) and documenting his life story. What enraptures the audience (if they’re able to be, that is) is how director Majewski captures the odd reality of the original US-Americans, native American tribesmen like the Navajo here, set against the realities of modern USA. Unexplainable in a way, this film either grows on you or you walk the hell away wondering, ‘WTF!’ the film opens in local cinemas on the 20/11/20. ###-1/2

When a fantastical-horror film piece is also doubling as a social-environmental thought piece that can make you laugh, you’re probably onto something interesting. That is what I kept feeling was going to occur and lo and behold, it did as I watched the new film Slaxx. Helmed by experimental Montreal film director Elza Kephart, we get the truth behind the realities of fast fashion by large corp clothiers, like Zara/H&M and yes, even YOU Bennetton…your ads are a smokescreen for the clothes maker you used to be…and I no longer can buy in the outlets, although I do find it harder than heck from time to tie not to break down and load up on canvas shoes…yet I digress. In this film, when go-getter Libby gets a post working for a fast fashion retailer, she is pumped and ready to learn, burn and chuuuuurn out sales, mostly as the ‘new season’ jeans’ are about to go on sale, but there just happens to be a twist. These ‘slacks’ are out for blood…why, you ask? Assuredly, this over the top concept come straight to us with a complete tongue-in-cheek manner but highlighting the fact that the slacks’ design came courtesy of/at the expense of a wee cotton-picking lass in the depths of India who was accidentally killed during a horrid machine snafu, says a lot. A personal favourite of mine this year. ###-1/2

[average-fanfics]

Wizardess Heart Modern Au

So this was greatly inspired by Rayheart on tumblr, with her modern AU. I couldn’t help myself. I just had to write it. This is still Gedonelune but given a modern world instead. I am basing this off of both my high school in Australia and what my friend's high school is like for her in America. Also, Wienfix is mentioned in Sigurd's route (but I found it on tumblr). I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AMERICAN FOOTBALL, SORRRRYYYYY….

“So Liz, you going to attend the football match tonight?” Liz turned to her left to face her best friend, Amelia. They were walking together on the way to their next class, which was an elective, and the only class they have together.

“Of course! I love to cheer on the football team, especially Klaus, Serge, Vincent, Guy, and Glenn!” Liz enjoys cheering on her friends every week, either it is a home game or an away game.

“You should consider the cheerleading squad, Liz,” Amelia suggested, combing her fingers through her orange hair, trying to catch knots that didn’t leave that morning with her hairbrush.

“I don’t know… plus I have to wear those suggestive outfits, and guys already hit on me left to right.” Liz explained her reason to not join. SHe would love to cheer for her guys and be a part of a team, but with boys around the school constantly flirting with her, she doesn’t want the extra attention.

“I understand your reasoning, but in most stories, the cheerleading squad girls are the most popular girls on campus! Think of that, popular!” Amelia’s grin was spread across her face, popularity looking good to her.

“I don’t need to be popular when I have friends that care about me.”

They stopped in their tracks as Amelia gives her a big hug. “This is why we all love you, Liz.”

“All I need is my friend’s love.” Liz hugged her back before the pair started walking again to their class.

Liz had spent years of her life alone, after her and her parents were involved in a freak car accident. When Liz was only 13, they were on a trip to the neighboring continent, Wienfix, when unfortunately, a drunk man speeding in the opposite direction collided with their car. The car was severely damaged in the front, killing both of Liz’s parents. She survived in the back seat and had to live with her aunt and cousin for 4 years till she was 17. She now lives in an apartment by herself, earning her wages by working at the local cat cafe.

The first period passed as normal, as did the next 3 periods until lunch. She had cooking during the 4th period, meaning payday. This was another way to earn money. She would cook and end up selling the food at lunchtime, she didn’t ask for this, but she needs any extra money to continue living alone.

“So today I made some Yo-Yos. They are an Australian biscuit, which is also called Melting Moments. They have a cream filling and are extremely sugary, with lots of butter as well. Unhealthy but delicious.” Liz explained the contents of the biscuit.

“They look delicious, Liz.” Elias was the first person to comment on her food. Having a sweet tooth, and instantly bought some before they were gone, Klaus not too far behind.

“Just what I need before practice. Be better if I had tea with me.” Klaus bought some before more guys started to show.

“You should try some coffee, Klaus. I bet these are amazing with coffee.” Sigurd butted in. Klaus instantly scrunched his face, disgusted by even the mention of coffee.

“Keep that coffee far away from me, also Serge gave me his money to buy some for him since he is already down at the pitch. He said he needed a lot of whatever you baked.” He gave extra money to Liz to buy some for Serge.

“Tell Serge I said hi, and you're welcome for baking these.” Liz smiled, knowing how happy Serge would be for these sweets.

“Will do.” And with that, Klaus was off.

“Can’t believe he won’t try coffee… Maybe I should swap his tea for coffee sometime.” Sigurd walked off after purchasing a couple of Yo-Yos. You could tell by the concentrated look on his face, he was figuring out a way to make Klaus drink coffee.

Lunch rolled past quickly, with all her sweets being sold before halfway through lunch. Yukiya had popped in to buy 1, while other’s like Luca and Joel, bought a handful, not letting the ‘beautiful’ food go to waste.

For the rest of lunch, she sat down on the grass field, overlooking the football and the football team practicing, with Amelia. They gossiped, well, Amelia gossiped, about what was going on through school. A secret relationship was revealed when they told their friends they were dating, and one girl accidentally told another girl. That other girl had a habit of not keeping things secret, and by the end of the day, Amelia was sure the whole year level would know this. And by the end of the week, the whole school would know. That was the way it worked here at Gedonelune High School. Something couldn’t remain a secret for long.

The day quickly ended, with Liz walking side by side with Amelia, on the way to the cat cafe to attend work. The bonus of working there, you get to hang around cats. When Amelia and Liz arrived, they changed into their uniform, a simple white shirt and black skirt with an apron. It had only been 5 mins until Elias walked through the door with a book in hand, and sat in his regular corner seat.

Liz walked up to him, with a notepad to take down orders in hand, and tapped his shoulder to get him out of his book. “So what would you like today, Elias? The normal chocolate and caramel slice with hot chocolate, or would you maybe want to try our new triple chocolate cake?”

“I would like the normal hot chocolate, 3 teaspoons of sugar and 2 marshmallows, and I would like to try the new chocolate cake please.” Elias smiled as a tabby cat came over and sat on his lap. “Hello, Mr. Fluffy, it’s a pleasure to see you again.” He talked to the cat, which was named Mr. Fluffy because of his large fluffy fur.

Liz walked back up to the counter and told Liz his order. “I swear, he orders diabetes every day.” Amelia laughed.

“Klaus isn’t any better. They both live off sugar, which apparently they and their older brother got from their father.” Liz laughed along as they both prepared his order. Liz working on the hot chocolate and Amelia cut a slice of cake for him. When both were finished, Liz walked back over to him with a plate in hand, and he instantly started eating.

After eating, Elias complimented her on the food. “Thank you, Liz, I deeply enjoyed the cake and hot chocolate.” He gave his fan-killing smile to Liz, which could melt anyone’s heart. “The cat’s are just an added bonus, as I mostly come here to see you- I mean eat your food! You did say you cook some of the food here, right!” He was blushing from head to toe, causing Liz to blush as well.

Liz gave a slight thank you, as she walked away to the counter, Amelia watching the exchange from her position with the widest grin on her face. “You two are soooo adorable together!” She squealed at Liz, getting excited. “I hope you two date someday!” This caused Liz to blush even more.

The next couple of hours continued, with Elias leaving not too long after the embarrassing conversation. He normally stays for longer, but the girls guess he couldn’t handle the embarrassment, but either could Liz. However, the shift continued with nothing of the sort happening again, just serving customers.

Amelia and Liz made plans that Amelia would drop Liz off at her place, as usual, but pick her up later to attend the football match. This prevented Liz from happening to walk to the school grounds at dark, even if the school is in walking distance.

An hour later, they were both at the school football field, cheering on their fellow friends. Sitting with them on the bleachers was Elias, Yukiya, Azusa, Joel, and Leon. Not too far was Cerim, Leslie, Sigurd and Mel, and Luca sitting amongst the girls, obviously with his new girlfriend, which would not last too long. God knows how many girlfriends he has had, although Amelia might actually know since she stays a top of gossip.

The game was off to a good start, with Guy being the fastest runner, scoring a goal. This continued on, with their team winning. With a combination of Glenn’s strength, Guy’s speed, their teammates, which includes Serge and Vincent, and Klaus’ leadership as captain, they were sure to win.

It was halftime break, and Amelia used this to talk to the guys sitting with her and Liz. “So Yukiya, take anymore stray cat’s home again?”

Yukiya moved his head so he was facing Amelia. “I found a stray cat on the way back home after school, but after mum’s last warning about bringing home another animal, I could only give him some leftover lunch and make a little shelter out of nearby boxes and containers.”

“Awww, that’s so sweet…” Amelia cooed.

“I could maybe take that cat home, could you show me where it is if it is still there?” Leon asked Yukiya, who was sitting next to him.

“Sure. Let’s just hope the cat is still there.”

“I love cats,” Elias joined the conversation. “but unfortunately, Klaus is allergic to cat hair so I’m not allowed to bring any home.”

“That’s a shame,” Yukiya responded.

The game then continued, with their school still in the lead. The other team was gaining up, causing a tie. Both teams were desperate to win this match, which would lead them to the finals. They had little time left and wanted to try every strategy to win. They decided on Guy going in for the final goal, and fortunately, he did it. He managed to score a goal before the end of the game, meaning that they won!

Everyone from Gedonelune High School ran down to the pitch to congratulate them on the win. Liz headed down as well, but not running like everyone else. She headed to where Klaus and Serge were crowded.

“Hello Klaus, Serge. Great job on winning tonight!” She smiled up at them as she felt happy for their win.

“Well, I couldn’t have done it without those delicious treats at lunch!” Serge hugged her, his way of saying thank you.

“Serge, I wouldn’t mind a hug normally, but you’re sweaty.” Liz pointed out. He immediately let go, now aware of how terrible he must smell.

“Those treats were delicious, Liz, and I do believe they helped us today.” Klaus butted in, obviously not happy that Serge was close to Liz.

The crowd eventually faded, and Liz was dropped off at her apartment by Amelia. She quickly changed into her pajamas, taking out her twin pig-tails held together by pink ribbon. She flopped onto her bed quite dramatically, as she felt exhausted from today’s events. She had a quick scroll through social media before falling fast asleep, dreaming about the events of the day. Selling food, the football match, and don’t forget about Elias’ blushing. That was the most awkward of today's events. She dreamed of something happening between the two, a romance.

She was happy in her dreamland until she woke up.

---

Word count: 1885

Yeah, so that is it. Will Liz end up with someone, since 15 guys like her? That scene with Elias though, our adorable tsundere is all grown up! If I continue this, it might have one feature guy per chapter, I don’t know. Again, thanks to Rayheart for her amazing modern AU that prompted me to write this!

[medusasdad]

Joel Creava

crippling anxiety

has 3 jobs to pay rent with sister

never tells anyone him problem to not “burden” them

sweet tooth

stares everyone down but is just really scared of them

judgemental (biggest character flaw)

can sing and write songs

proud and supportive

circle glasses, mole beneath eye

salty

really good at maths and english (but mostly maths)

honest, extremely honest

has weird days were he over shares lots of thingd

a bit of a INFJ personality type

organised, but has so many plans and schedules that he doesn’t look or seem organised at all

greek/israeli/moroccan

really dramatic but keeps in under wraps

when laughing crinkly eyes ‘n’ crinkly nose, crooked/wicked smile

takes charge of situations

rambles when nervous if comfortable around you, if not doesn’t speak at all

thinks he’s boring and worthless but is mostly at peace with it :((

can and will spiral about anything! Impossible to calm down!!!

bewildered

voice like Damon Daunno

weird but so quiet no one notices (strange/off putting when you don’t know him, normal and caring (and other) when you know him, super weird when you know know him)

sort of has anorexia- but like... out of habit of not having time and always putting jobs and family life before physical needs

he needs other people - his sisters and brother - to live otherwise he feels he has no purpose. This means he’s pretty much codependent on them. It also means he loves them too much and would do horrible things to himself and others

the horrible things he did was sell child pornography of himself to get money for rent, lock luca in rooms at hours at a time because he didn’t trust her or the world

gets a apprenticeship writing operas, musicals and songs for a composer and professional singer husband and wife