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secretsfromthegirlnextdoor · 3 years ago

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Pairing: JJ Maybank x female!OC

Part: 1/??

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The Pogues were riding high, literally and figuratively. With John B at the wheel, they flew down the main highway connecting the have and the have nots of Kildare island. The Twinkie jostled and rumbled along the road as the trio in the backseat laughed and clamored to talk over each other, the constant commotion acting as a soundtrack for the ride, considering the radio hadn’t worked since the 90’s.

They’d spent the afternoon on Figure Eight, riding around from place to place until they’d landed on the construction site for a new house right on the water. They toured what was built of the mansion, fooling around with the tools left behind by the work crew, climbing on the roof, and cracking jokes while sipping (or chugging, depending on who you asked) stolen beers. It hadn't taken long before the security company showed up, proving that there was nothing the group loved more than a little mischief and jackassery.

As they sailed over the bridge connecting The Eight to the rest of the island and barreled through town, John B had to multitask between keeping up with the banter in the backseat and paying attention to the road. As he crossed yet another bridge he took in the sight of one of the locals casting his fishing pole into the water below, and further ahead, a girl with a long ponytail and a backpack slung over her shoulder walking alongside the road.

“Ayyy! There’s our little shadow pogue!” John B called out and pointed, garnering the attention of the rest of the group. He slowed the van to coast, leaning over to shout out the passenger window, “Hey girlie, you want a ride?!”

The young woman whipped her head around, ponytail swinging behind her as she removed her earbud and prepared to give whoever it was the finger and a death glare. When she caught sight of the beat up VW van her shoulders dropped and her glare dissolved into a smile, “John B you know better than to yell at a girl from your car window” she scolded playfully as the boy reached over to pop the passenger door open.

The girl slung her backpack into the van and hopped into the passenger seat, turning around to greet the rest of the crew, but before she had a chance to say anything, JJ spoke up from the far back “you know we don’t just give out rides for free, so what’s it gonna be Sams?” He said as he placed a joint between his lips and spoke around it, “Cash, grass or ass?”

The van went silent except for the wind rushing through the open windows. Pope dropped his head with a scoff, saying “dude…” under his breath while Kiara smacked the boy's arm. Sam’s eyes went wide as her mouth dropped open with surprise, but she quickly regained her composure, lips forming into a smirk as she crafted her reply “but you’re not the one giving me the ride, are you JJ? Not with all that nasty business with your learners permit and the driving instructor?”

“Oh Shit!” John B cried out from the driver’s seat, laughing and clapping Sam on the back with his free hand. It was rare that she would challenge JJ or any of the pogues like this, making the situation that much more amusing. Pope and Kie dissolved into giggles as JJ’s nose flared with anger “I still got my license didn’t I?!” He argued back, pulling the joint out of his mouth and waving his arms around. “And yet, John B still doesn’t trust you to drive the Twinkie” Sam replied with a laugh as she turned back around in her seat. “Look at you Sammie, finally speaking up for yourself!” Kie laughed, “nice one Sam” Pope added.

“I don’t deserve to be called out like this” JJ scoffed in a hushed tone, leaning back in his seat and looking out the window. “You 100% deserved that shit” Pope chuckled.

That's us. Pogues, pogies, the throwaway fish. Lowest member of the food chain. Okay. So, the downside of Pogue life is we're ignored and neglected. But the upside of Pogue life? We're ignored and neglected, which means we do whatever we want, whenever we want.

That's JJ, my best friend since the third grade. He's about as local as they come. Latest in a long line of fishing, drinking, smuggling, vendetta-holding salt-lifers who made their living off the water. Best surfer I know. Just don't tell him I said that. Mild kleptomaniac and a future tax cheat.

And that's Kiara, or Kie, as we call her. When not saving turtles or listening to Marley, or getting a dolphin tattoo, she hangs out with us. I'm not really sure why, though.

So, she's a rich kid, actually. Foot in both worlds. Her family owns The Wreck, this Outer Banks institution. Total cash cow with the tourists. You know, I'm not really sure how her parents feel about us, but we’ve all had a thing for her at one time or another.

And that's Pope, the brains of the operation... finalist for the Lucas T. Vanderhorst Merit Scholarship, and the smartest person I know. Little bit of a weirdo.

His father's this legendary character, Heyward. Anything you wanted on the island, Heyward could get for you. Now, I'm not sure Heyward knew what to make of his oddball son, but it didn't matter. He was a Pogue, just like the rest of us.

So, that's my crew.

Oh Shit, I almost forgot Sammie.

Sam, Sammie, we call her the shadow pogue. She’s so quiet that sometimes it’s like she’s not even there. She skipped a grade, so she’s a year younger and she’s still smarter than the rest of us, maybe even Pope. Marching band nerd, and the little sister none of us could live without.

We're the Pogues, and our mission this summer is to have a good time, all the time.

Thanks for reading!

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floralguccistyles · 3 years ago

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twelve: the birthday beach trip strikes back

I did not like road trips.

One would think that I would, since I wanted to travel so much. But traveling by airplane was so much different than traveling in a cramped car with multiple people and all of their luggage. It was almost uncomfortable enough to declare the whole birthday trip off, but Gemma and Melody were basically twin-bouncing in excitement, so I kept my mouth shut.

We had broken up the group into two cars. The first contained Jeremiah and Daisy, Veronica and Bailey, and Zach taking up the rear of the car. The second car contained Harry, Gemma and Michal, and Melody and me. Michal was apparently a stickler for driving when they went out of town (something about his father not being a good driver and Michal taking the reins when he got his license), which left him and Gemma in the front and the three remaining in the back. I was between Melody and Harry in the backseat, cramped between them with Melody’s knee digging into my thigh and Harry’s elbow digging into my rib.

“Harry’s booked an Airbnb pretty close to the beach. It’s got the most beautiful view of the chalk cliffs. See!” Gemma twisted around in her seat and flashed me the phone of the Airbnb Harry had booked, which I had seen at least five times now. I decided not to mention it. “We can do a hike and see more of them!”

“Gem,” Michal said from the front, “that’s like a fourteen mile hike. I doubt Petra wants to spend her birthday in stitches.”

“We wouldn’t walk the entire trail,” Gemma said, rolling her eyes and giving his shoulder a playful shove. “But you’re right. Petra should decide what she wants to do!”

If I were being truthful with myself, I wanted to turn around and head back home. The short-lived bravery of accepting the beach trip had only lasted about twelve hours. By the time I was prepared to call Harry and take my statement back, he had already booked the Airbnb and was going on and on about how excited he was. Pair that with Jeremiah and Zach literally screeching about drinking Bahama Mamas on the beach and Melody claiming she was going to work on her tan, I hadn’t had the courage to cancel the trip.

At least my friends would enjoy my birthday.

“We’re about twenty minutes away,” Michal announced, taking a turn off the motorway. My cramped legs rejoiced at the news. It was about a ninety minute drive to Birling Gap, which wasn’t terrible in hindsight, but being stuck between my best mate and Harry Styles wasn’t my idea of a great time. In the rearview mirror, I saw Jeremiah take the same turn-off that Michal had.

When I had told my parents about the birthday trip, they had nearly cried in happiness. They were happy I was getting out of the house and even happier I was spending time with Harry to “give him a second chance.” I tried not to let that comment bug me, but like it always did, the phone call ended with me feeling slightly annoyed that my parents never saw the faults in Harry like I did. Sure, we were friends now. I felt comfortable saying that. But there was still history there I hadn’t trained myself out of forgetting yet.

“Christ, Harry, that’s fucking massive,” Melody said suddenly. I realized I had zoned out for most of the ride, and we were now turning to the Airbnb Harry had rented. It was two stories, and looked like it could swallow fifteen of my flat and still have extra room. It was painted a beautiful pastel yellow color, and was nearly right on the cliffside.

“Well, I needed something that was going to actually fit all of us,” Harry responded, giving me a little grin as Michal turned into the driveway. “Thank Christ I can stretch.” Harry was out of the car like a bullet, tossing his arms over his head to stretch them out. I heard his bones crack and pop and briefly considered making fun of him, but my thoughts were cut off when he held out his hand to me.

“Thanks,” I said, taking his fingers in mine and hopping out of the car. He was right about one thing. Stretching my legs felt like heaven after being cramped in the middle for the entire ninety minutes.

“I call dibs on the bathroom!” Gemma shouted once her feet were planted on the ground.

“I’m sure there’s like fifty in there. Dibs don’t really matter,” Melody commented. “Michal and Harry, my good men, what’s a girl gotta do to get some drinks around here?”

“Birthday girl gets first drink,” Harry said, ruffling my hair. Before I could scold him, he pulled me into his side and led me up to the house. “I’ve got to check in with the owner and tell them we’re here.” The door had one of those fancy keypad locks. Harry typed in a number and the door opened, revealing the grandiose foyer.

“You spent way too much money,” I said bitterly, giving him a hard look.

“You only turn twenty-five once, Petra. What’re you drinking?”

I shrugged, which wasn’t very effective given his arm was still around my shoulder. “Whatever you’re drinking is fine.”

“Rum and coke good?” I nodded as he led us to the kitchen. Michal was following behind us, already ready to pull out blenders and alcohol bottles. Gemma had disappeared somewhere (most likely to the bathroom), and I heard Jeremiah’s voice from outside.

Harry released me to make our drinks, small-talking with Michal as he maneuvered his way around the kitchen. The other part of our group filtered their way inside, greedily grabbing their alcohols of choice and preparing their own drinks. Once Harry was done making mine, he all but taped it to my hand to make sure I was drinking it and having a good time. I noticed he didn’t leave my side as he continued chatting with Michal.

“Oh thank God,” Gemma said when she returned from the bathroom. “Was gonna piss myself.”

“Thanks for that mental image, Gem,” Harry commented. Michal dutifully handed her the drink concoction he had made for her. It was bright red and looked like it wouldn’t taste good, but she drank it happily.

“So,” Jere clapped his hands happily. “What does the birthday girl want to do?”

“The birthday girl doesn’t turn twenty-five for another five hours,” I reminded him, shrugging. “I’m fine with everyone doing whatever they want to. I might go read on the beach.”

“Bad idea,” Melody said, pointing her thumb to Jeremiah and Zach. “These buffoons will throw you in the water.”

That was true. Before I could respond, Harry leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I’ll protect your honor from Thing 1 and Thing 2.” I could smell the alcohol on his breath but knew he was far from intoxicated. He had barely taken a couple sips of his own drink.

“Thank you,” I laughed, shoving him away. Mostly because I didn’t like smelling secondhand alcohol in his mouth and partly because him being close to me made my blood thicken and turn to lead in my body. There was an uncomfortable little clenching feeling in my stomach. “I’ll take my chances. I haven’t been on a beach in years.”

Ten minutes later, I had changed into the bathing suit Melody and I had bought for me on a whim when we had been coming back from our yoga session that week when we realized I didn’t have one I could use for the beach. It was simple and modest, mostly because I was paranoid about being photographed on the beach. Melody had approved the tiny amount of cleavage it showed and I approved of the fact that it covered my stomach. It was yellow and white plaid, and I had instantly felt more comfortable in it than some of the bikinis Melody had thrown my way.

I pulled on my little white wrap skirt that I had also purchased as a coverup and walked outside, where I noticed the group was already descending the big white staircase on the cliffside that led to the beach. Only Harry remained on the back porch, staring out at the ocean.

“You regret coming?” he asked, turning to face me. I almost swallowed my tongue. I had, of course, seen Harry shirtless before, but there was something about the swim trunks hanging lowly on his waist that made my face feel hot. “Petra?”

“Hm? Oh, no. I’m having...fun.”

“That didn’t sound convincing at all.”

I smiled at him. “I’m just not used to doing anything for my birthday. I’m happy, I swear.” I waved my book in front of him. “Are we headed down?”

“Yeah. Just let me grab my book.”

I watched him walk over to the car and pull a paperback book out, holding it in his left hand. His fingers nearly swallowed the little cover. The red heat came crawling back up my cheeks. “You’re reading The Hobbit?”

“Yeah. I finished Lord of the Rings, figured I would read this one and then The Silmarillion.” He suddenly grinned. “Would have brought your book, but I finished that on my plane ride.”

I remembered him saying he had read it all. I also remembered the cute little custom Funko pop he had made for me. It was sitting on a shelf at the studio, a little reminder that Harry and I were, weirdly, friends. “I’m glad you didn’t bring it. I wouldn’t have let you read it. It would have been embarrassing.”

“You couldn’t have pried it out of my cold, dead, hands.”

I shrugged. “I would have pulled out all the stops. Like reminding you it’s my birthday. And then if that didn’t work, you would have gotten the puppy dog eyes. It’s a specialty of mine.”

He laughed. “Yeah, probably wouldn’t have survived those.” His fingertip gently raised and pressed underneath my eye, the touch lighter than the wind. “Would have swallowed my own tongue and done anything you said.”

I tried to ignore the fact that my thoughts had been on the same exact wavelength just three minutes ago. He pulled his finger away and gestured towards the stairs. Our group was already on the beach, setting up a little bonfire at the pit the beach provided. The walk down to the beach was silent, save for Harry making little humming sounds as he watched me walk, probably to make sure I didn’t trip and fall down the long staircase. His hand was always close to my shoulder and waist, ready to catch me in case I did fall.

Jeremiah, Daisy, Zach, and Gemma were already out in the water by the time we got down to the beach. It wasn’t particularly cold, but it wasn’t very hot either. I didn’t know how they could survive the water’s temperature. Melody was resting on a towel, sunglasses on her head as she chatted with Veronica and Bailey, who were on Melody’s right. Michal was making Gemma another drink with the alcohol they had brought in the cooler. There was a bright red umbrella set up, but most of our group preferred what sun there was.

Michael tossed Harry and I some towels and we set up our spots on the other side of Melody. I leaned down, pressing my stomach against the beach towel and opening up my book. I perched my sunglasses on my nose, drinking in the words on the page with rapt attention. Harry did the same next to me, plopping down on his back and holding the book over his face like one would a phone. I wondered how long it would take for him to drop it on his face and how hard I would laugh when it inevitably happened.

“So have you two got any wedding plans yet?” Melody asked Veronica and Bailey. Veronica looked like a supermodel in her bright blue bikini and perfect tan skin. Bailey was covered in a little sundress because she had the Irish curse of burning in the sun. There was a giant hat on her head to keep her scalp from the same fate.

“We think we’ve got a venue and we want to try for a winter wedding. We know it’s soon, but we don’t really see the point in waiting, you know? We want to be married.”

“What’s the venue?” I asked, pulled out of my book for a split second at the thought that Bailey and Veronica were planning on getting married so soon.

“That cute little hotel near the studio. We both really love it and it’s not terribly expensive to rent out the ballroom for a night,” Veronica responded. I knew exactly what hotel she was talking about. It was small, but I didn’t imagine Veronica and Bailey would be inviting a lot of people. Veronica didn’t talk to her family much and Bailey was raised by her aunt and uncle and she wasn’t very close to them.

“Who are you thinking of inviting?” Melody asked, stealing the words right out of my mouth.

“This lot, of course. And then maybe some friends from school. Neither of us have a ton of family we want there. It’ll be a good size for the hotel.”

“Hear that?” Harry mentioned cheekily from beside me. I tore my eyes away from Veronica and Bailey and faced him. “You’re stuck with me until at least this winter.”

“The horror,” I deadpanned, rolling my eyes and bringing my attention back to my book. I had about fifteen minutes of the sun overhead before a shadow covered my towel. Jeremiah and Zach stood over me, dripping with saltwater.

“You’ve got five seconds to get in the water before we throw you in, Pet!” Zach grinned happily.

“I don’t want to swim. I’m enjoying my book.”

Jeremiah simply plucked it out of my hand and tossed it a few feet away.

I nudged Harry. “Didn’t you say you would protect my honor?”

He turned, seemingly engrossed in his book, and then looked between me and the boys. “I did,” he said, tossing his book so it landed next to mine. Before I could blink, he was standing and throwing his arms around me, lifting me from the ground as if I weighed nothing. “I lied!”

He rushed across the beach, ignoring my slight scream of startled surprise. I screamed his name in astonished surprise before I was tossed forward into the ocean, the sea swallowing my body in a numbing cold wave. I heard the muffled sound of his laughter above the water, filtering through the waves. When I came up for air, he was bent over at the waist and giggling like a little kid.

“You fucking prick!” I yelled, but there was a giant smile on my face. I wiped the water off my sunglasses as best as I could, reaching forward to slam my hands onto his head and push him under the water. I laughed evilly, hoping the cold water on his face had shocked him as much as it had shocked me.

When he lifted his head and stood, the smile on his face made my skin warm. I had thought this often about Harry, but he was too beautiful for his own good. It was like being in the presence of a celebrity, something I had never thought of Harry until I caught him from my peripheral, looking nothing short of the superstar he was. At the same time though, he was just Harry. I’d seen him pick his nose in grade school. I’d seen him through his acne phase.

He was just Harry.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked gently, reaching forward to swipe some wet hair out of my eyes. His touch, as always, was gentle. I wondered if he made a conscious decision to touch me like I was breakable.

“Just...amazed we’re here, I guess.” I hoped he felt the weight of my words, knew that I wasn’t just talking about being here on the beach, but rather here with him. He nodded and I knew he understood.

“Who would have thought?” he mused, gently leaning back so he was floating on the water. He looked so calm and peaceful that I decided to join him. The knot of my wrap skirt loosened just slightly, so I undid the knot and put the piece of fabric around my head like a scarf. It buoyed me up just a little.

We just floated there in the waves for what felt like hours but couldn’t have been more than two minutes. I stood once my ears started to hurt from the pressure and Harry followed me, reminding me of his impressive height when he stood above me.

“Happy?” he asked, tapping my chin.

I nodded. “Really happy, actually.” I knew he heard the surprise in my voice and he smiled cheekily at me.

“Told you you’d love the break, birthday girl.” Then, before I could fathom what was happening, he pulled me close and pressed a chaste and quick kiss to my forehead.

The touch sent shockwaves through my body, but he simply pulled away and tugged on my hand, leading me back towards the beach. He didn’t seem affected by the kiss like I obviously was, so I kept my mouth shut even though my nerve endings felt like they were on fire. He picked up my book and handed it back to me before retreating to his towel like nothing had happened.

I caught Melody’s eye, and she was giving me a “what the fuck was that?” look. I shrugged, unable to decipher for myself what the fuck that was. But I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around myself, figuring sitting so close to Harry probably wasn’t the best idea at the moment.

“I’m headed back. I want to take a warm bath,” I mentioned offhandedly.

“Oh, the place has a hot tub. We can all just head back there. It’s big enough to fit our entire graduating class of Holmes Chapel.” Gemma swallowed the last of the drink Michal had made her before standing and brushing off the sand that had collected on her skin.

We all retreated back to the gorgeous house Harry had rented for us. I knew realistically I couldn’t take my skirt into the hot tub with me, but I was still self-conscious as I pulled it off my body and tossed it over a chair so it could dry overnight. Bailey scooted up beside me, giving me a big smile.

“That suit is adorable. New?” I nodded my head. “Harry can’t seem to keep his eyes off you.” We both discreetly looked at the boy in question, who caught ym glance and gave me a smirk. It was obvious we were discussing him and he was reveling in it. “There something going on with you two?”

I shook my head a little too quickly to be reassuring. “Not at all. We’re just friends. And before that, we were hardly acquaintances. He actually was a prick in secondary school.”

“Yeah, Veronica’s told me a little about that. I’m not excusing him at all, but he seems to have grown up a little, yeah? Realized that what he did was wrong?”

To this, I had no problem agreeing. Harry had more than shown me he felt bad for what had happened when we were kids. The hurdle was my own insecurities. “He has. I know that, don’t worry.”

She smiled at me softly and I was struck with just how much I liked Bailey. We had hung out a couple of times when she and Veronica had just started dating and Veronica wanted us to meet, but in the past year we had grown closer and closer. “Veronica’s lucky to have you.”

Bailey blushed. “Cheers.” Veronica sidled up to our sides and handed Bailey another drink. “We were just talking about what’s going on with Pet and Harry.”

“Oh yeah, they’ve totally fucked,” Veronica said briskly, taking an affirmative sip of her drink to end her pointed statement.

I nearly choke on my own spit. “We have not!”

“Really?” She raised a delicate eyebrow in the way I’d always been jealous of. “Could’ve fooled me. All that tension?”

“There’s...there’s no tension,” I stated confusedly.

“Babe, you looked like you were about to jump his bones in the ocean.”

I had a weird relationship when it came to sex. After a less than stellar first-time, I had avoided it for longer than necessary. When I had picked up the act again, I found myself not enjoying it as much as I thought I should. Because shouldn’t you be unbelievably happy or in the midst of a wild passion when you were having sex with someone? The most intense emotion I had felt with the three people I’d had sex with was indifference and mild disappointment.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, rolling my eyes at her.

Bailey stopped Veronica before she could continue the argument. “Pet, Veronica and I wanted to ask you something.” When I looked over at them (tearing my gaze away from Melody and Zach, who were betting who could down a beer faster), Bailey was looking at me hopefully. “You’re definitely one of our best friends. And we really want you to be a bridesmaid.”

I’d never had real, true friends in secondary school. I was too traumatized by Harry’s friend group that I had isolated myself from everyone, terrified that they’d turn to Harry’s side. When I had met Jeremiah and Veronica at the studio, I had nearly cried in happiness. Sure, Veronica didn’t like the same things I did, but she was always nice and willing to listen. Jeremiah was just an older, male version of me, so we had gotten along from the get-go. And then Melody, who was my other half. I didn’t think I would have survived without them.

So I teared up a little, naturally.

“We didn’t mean to make you cry!” Veronica said, immediately handing me a towel I could wipe my eyes with. “It was supposed to be a compliment! We think you’re aces.”

“I consider it a compliment, don’t worry,” I assured, not wanting them to think the tears were of stress or sadness. “Of course I’ll be a bridesmaid, you idiots.”

Bailey grinned and gave me a big hug. Veronica, a little less showy with her emotions, gave my shoulder a pat. “We’re thinking of pastel blue. It’ll look fabulous on you.”

I choked out a watery laugh. “Fine with me.”

We dabbled in the hot tub a little longer and then eventually the exhaustion of the drive caught up to us. The house was big enough for the couples to pair up and the rest of us to have our own room, despite Zach mentioning that he was going to cuddle up with Jeremiah and Daisy. We all had one more drink and said our goodnights, slowly making our way to our own rooms. I was more than happy to take the swimsuit off, changing instead into joggers and a Star Wars shirt that I’d probably had a little too long. I took my contacts out, blinking furiously when they were gone before I slid my glasses on my nose.

A knock on my door drew my attention away from the process of taking my makeup off. I quickly swiped the rest of my face with the wipe and tossed it in the bin before opening up the door.

“Happy birthday,” Harry said, holding what looked like a small salted caramel cupcake in his hands. The flavor wasn’t my favorite by any means, but the sight of it had my heart swelling.

“My birthday’s tomorrow, you numpty.”

“It’s officially 12:02,” he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a singular yellow candle, sticking it in the center of the cupcake. He pushed it into my hands, then retrieved a lighter from his other pocket. “And you’ve got to make a wish.”

He gently lit the wick and I watched the flame dance around. I didn’t know what I wanted to wish for. My friends were incredible. My parents were safe, happy, and healthy. I had a career I loved.

The date with Peter came back into my head. About how he hadn’t brought me flowers. A silly, insignificant little thing, but something I had seen my father do for my mother a million times. Something I desperately wanted.

I want the flowers, I wished silently in my head. Not just the flowers, though. I wanted the feeling of getting flowers from someone I cared about, and who cared about me in return.

I blew out the candle, Harry clapping softly. “Don’t even think about telling me what the wish was. I want it to come true for you.”

“You like salted caramel? We can split,” I mentioned, prepared to walk to the kitchen to grab a knife so we could share the sweet gesture.

His brows knitted together. “Oh, it’s not salted caramel. I called your parents and they said you loved dulce de leche. It took me a while to find a bakery that sold them, but I did.”

I blinked at him, his words registering late. He had called my parents and asked them what my favorite cake flavor was. “You called my parents?”

He nodded. “Wanted you to have your favorite on your birthday. You deserved it.” He shrugged, then gave me a small smile. “You deserve a lot of things.”

It had taken me a while to believe it, and I still might never fully comprehend it. But maybe for tonight, I was fine believing his statement.

#1dff #ac #harry styles ou #harry styles fanfiction

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stonertransdad · 4 years ago

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Life Update since I hadn't been on here in forever

The pandemic was/is wild! Lockdowns started literally around the time we were going to the fertility specialist to get her pregnant. I lost my job to COVID in March shortly before we did the procedure, but we decided there's never really a good time to have a kid. Why not during a global pandemic when one of us in unemployed? (BTW, I don't recommend having a kid during a pandemic. Not being able to go to all of the appointments and having to sit in the parking lot was brutal.)

Let's talk about May friends...it was rough. (TW for mention of suicide btw. I'll post a gif where it's safe to start again if you wanna skip over it.)

So May 1st is the anniversary of my father's suicide. It had been 4 years. I found his body and since he wasn't married, I had to handle his affairs and arrange his funeral. May 1st, 2020 my wife and I had a Zoom game night with our friends and I got drunk because everyone was drinking (except my wife because she was pregnant). After our game night at like 2am, I had a psychotic break. I threatened to kill myself numerous times. My wife tried to talk me down, but eventually called the cops to take me. I thank her for that because looking back, that was the moment I knew something needed to change. I was convinced the cops were gonna kill me because I'm a trans dude in rural West Texas. I legit took the phone out of my wife's hand, hung up on 911, and yeeted her phone across the backyard and tried to hop the fence. Eventually the cops came and talked me down. They took me to the hospital an hour away in handcuffs (for their protection I did nothing wrong). They took me to the religious hospital that I was born in. So when they looked up my info by my name and date of birth from my driver's license (I only changed my middle name) literally all my paperwork and my bracelet had my deadname and wrong gender despite all of my legal stuff saying male with my new middle name. I mentioned it to them and they didn't care. They misgendered me the entire time I was there. I had hit my head hella hard on the bath tub when my wife was trying to snap me out of it, did the hospital even check me for concussion? Nope. I had punched so many things and my hand and wrist were swollen and discolored. Did they check out my hand and wrist? Nope. I was there for over 10 hours before I was able to convince them I was okay and that it was just the alcohol. Did I mention during that 10 hours I was literally out in the hall on a gurney with no mask and this was when COVID was running rampant in Texas (the first time)? I heard people die that night. I had nothing to distract me because they took away all of my personal items and clothes. My wife picked me up and we went home and I have been sober ever since. It's not the first psychotic break I've had with alcohol in my system. Alcohol just doesn't agree with me, but I'm finding new things to replace it with.

TW has been lifted...it's safe now.

A couple of weeks after that I began teletherapy because I had been on the same mood stabilizer and anti-depressant for almost a decade. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense that I felt like it hadn't been working for at least a year. This is a reminder to check in with your doctor if you feel like your meds aren't working. You may just need a different dose or a new med. There's no shame in that. I bounced around on various medications trying to find the right combo, some side effects scarier than others, but we got there. Before this, I had been diagnosed with ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My therapist threw out my Borderline diagnosis and said it was CPTSD instead, which made sense.

Fast forward to December because my wife was pregnant, I was unemployed still, and we did absolutely fuck-all because the global panini was still raging.

Our son was born on December 3, 2020. He weighed 5lbs 9oz and scared the ever loving shit out of us. He wasn't breathing when he was born so they called NICU in ASAP. I'm freaking out because I can hear and see what's going on while my wife was asking if he was okay as they put her guts back in place to sew her up. 5 or so minutes pass and a nurse asks if I want her to take some pictures. I'm like is he okay, he still hasn't cried. She's like "oh yeah, he's chillin." This goon was being held by a nurse and was just looking around not crying or anything. Chillest baby ever (he still is btw). I held him next to my wife's head until it was time to go back to the room. Little dude did have to spend 4 nights in the NICU because he couldn't keep his sugars or temperature regulated, but he was healthy otherwise. He's now 4 months old and is starting to sit up on his own a little bit and he's OBSESSED with standing. He's still a little guy, but very healthy and growing like a weed. He saves my life daily.

So after being unemployed for over 9 months, I started a new job working in a call center. I absolutely hate talking on the phone. It gives me anxiety and throws me into panic attacks, but I had been putting out hundreds of job applications since I lost my last job and this was the first offer I got. I wasn't really in a position to turn it down since my unemployment had ran out 2 months prior. It was 2 months of training, then we'd be on our own. I got thru the training and thought I could handle it...until they started putting us on live calls with someone helping us if we got stuck. My mental health hit the lowest point it had in a few years and my wife was terrified she was going to lose me. She convinced me to quit on February 28th (not because I didn't want to, but because I'm a stubborn ass who felt guilty). My meds got tweaked a little bit more dosage wise during this mess.

Starting about mid-February, I was experiencing severe shakiness, tremors, and spasms. I've always been a shaky person and never really thought too much about it, but at some points I could barely feed myself, or get a drink, or hold my son. On March 7th, I tried to make an appointment with my doctor about the weird symptoms I was experiencing, but she was out of town and her next opening wasn't until the 31st. My body said that won't work and my wife rushed me to the ER on the 9th...I had begun having seizures that day. I had no previous history of seizures. Got to the ER and had a seizure literally as I was walking thru the door, so they rushed me straight back. They took some blood and that was literally it. No MRI. No CT. They pumped me full of Ativan and said it was just a panic attack and to go home and chill.

Spoiler Alert: It wasn't just anxiety. I was having 20+ seizures a day. On the 10th, my wife rushed me to a different hospital...the good hospital over an hour away. First we had to drop off our gremlin with my mom to make things a little easier. Yet again, I had a seizure as I walked in the door and was taken back immediately. I don't really remember much because they kept pumping me full of Ativan and morphine because I had been in excruciating pain from the number of seizures I'd had. I do remember them doing a CT pretty quickly after I got there. Then they weren't happy with the results of the CT, so they took me to get an MRI, which showed possible signs of Multiple Sclerosis (but I didn't find that out until AFTER the notes showed up in my patient portal after being home a few days, so I raised hell...more on that later.) They did a 24 hour EEG on me and it showed nothing abnormal. Also, EEG glue is a bitch on your hair and scalp. After looking at everything and given my previous mental health history, they diagnosed me with Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures, or PNES. It is a subset of Functional Neurologic Disorder, or FND. I couldn't walk well anymore and had to use a walker when I was discharged. I was in the hospital for 3 days.

When I had my follow-up appointment on the 23rd, I asked why the possibility of MS was never mentioned to me since it was very clearly in the notes. The doctor didn't have an explanation. He called in a referral to neurology so I could get a 2nd MRI to confirm MS and marked it as high priority. He also didn't take my pain seriously. My pain levels had been at a 5 or higher every single minute since they took me off of the morphine in the hospital. He told me to keep taking prescription strength doses of ibuprofen and Tylenol, which I had been. I let him know I had been and it didn't even take the edge off the pain. He ignored me. Leading up to this appointment, I had also added urinary incontinence to my growing list of symptoms and was forced to wear diapers so I didn't have to do laundry all the time. The doctor also took me off my ADHD meds because they were lowering my seizure threshold. He also took me off of my sleeping meds and nightmare meds for the same reason I'm assuming.

I kept my appointment on the 31st with my primary doctor because she's been my doctor for 5 years now and I knew she'd take my pain seriously. She did. She immediately wrote me prescriptions for a muscle relaxer and Tylenol 4. She also told me that my referral had been rejected by neuro. She said my case wasn't a good one for what she called a "wallet biopsy" and the doctors in neurology could be real assholes. She immediately sent the referral to other locations to get an approval. I am still waiting on that despite it being marked as high priority. She wrote me a prescription for a wheelchair because we both agreed my wheelchair was not enough for particular days.

Yesterday my wheelchair was finally ready for pickup, so my wife drove me to go get it. I'm still unable to drive due to my seizures and my tremors and twitches as it's predominantly in my legs and arms. I am an ambulatory wheelchair user now. Some days I can go short distances without my walker, some days I can't go without my walker, some days I can't even get out of bed, and some days I will be using my wheelchair. Don't judge a book by its cover, not all disabilities are visible. I have managed to keep my daily seizure count down in single digits and have even had a few seizure free days. They are still incredibly taxing on my body. I feel like I can't ever replenish my spoons fast enough to keep up with anything in my life.

So all in all, life has been chaotic. We are moving from Texas to New Mexico in the next few weeks, which should be interesting considering I can't overdo it without throwing myself into seizures. We will be closer to my mother-in-law so she can help us with our son and I can start resting a bit more on the more difficult days. Being a stay-at-home dad with an invisible illness has been one of the most challenging things I've done in my life, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to update my followers since it's been over a year since I posted before a few days ago.

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day / i want the world to go away / i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake / i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''teen idle'' by marina

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robinskey · 5 years ago

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Apple Pie (Billy x Reader)

Request: Could I request a BillyxReader, reader is the girl next door and Billy finds himself looking for glimpses everyday after seeing her when he first moved in doing laundry, humming and just smiling which makes Billy not mind being at home because he knows there’s just this ray of sunshine. She brings a pie she baked to welcome his family & Billy is starved for baking cos his mum used to bake for him & he hasn’t had any in years. It makes him feel really happy? I’m ready for some fluffy goodness ❤️

A/N: This prompt is freaking adorable and I’m SO glad you requested it, @sweetboibilly.

Warnings: Slightly angsty and some foul language. Also, Neil Hargrove being a jerk/implications of abuse. Story under the cut.

Billy never expected to fall for the literal girl next door.

His first glimpse of you occurred on his first night in Hawkins. In the early hours of Thursday morning, Billy’s father had dragged him out of his warm bed. He was forced to load his entire life onto a moving truck, then follow it (and his father’s erratic driving) for thousands of miles in his Camaro. Susan, Billy’s stepmother, trailed behind him in his father’s pickup truck. In the rearview mirror, Billy could see her gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles, terrified of wrecking it. Susan didn’t own a car; her driver’s license had expired years ago. She relied on her husband for transportation. Putting Susan behind the wheel had been a terrible idea. However, Neil had insisted that they didn’t have a choice. There were four people to transport in three cars, and he wasn’t about to let Susan’s fourteen-year-old daughter drive his prized possession across the country.

Late Friday evening, the caravan finally arrived at their new address. Billy found the run-down one-story house underwhelming, to say the least. Faded paint covered the chipped paneling, and overgrown vines crept up the sides of the house. The thud of Billy’s car door slamming shut caused a small critter to scurry off the porch.

After thirty-some hours of virtually-non-stop driving, everyone was exhausted and wanted nothing more than a good night’s sleep. But as the head of the household aptly reminded them, their new home was empty. They couldn’t collapse into a bed that wasn’t set up yet or press their heads into pillows that hadn’t been unpacked.

Billy glanced around, taking in his new surroundings. Flickering streetlights gleamed down on the fractured sidewalk. Small houses similar to his lined the street, all of them identically dead.

Except for one.

In the house next to his, a light clicked on in a tiny room. The silhouette of a girl carrying a basket on her hip appeared. He watched as you placed the basket on top of a counter and started removing articles of clothing from it, then dropping them into what Billy assumed was a washing machine. Despite the chilly October air, someone had left the window open. You hummed a soft melody, which carried on the breeze to Billy’s ears. Your graceful, fluid movements mirrored those of a ballerina, the song to which you danced light and dreamlike. It was the sort of sound a person could get lost in, and Billy did-until the bark of his father bit into his trance.

“Billy! Get your ass over here, and unload these damn boxes!”

Regretfully, Billy stopped watching the pixie of a girl to help his father. He spent the next hour dragging heavy furniture into the house while his dad “supervised.” After sliding the last box into the living room, Billy collapsed on the front step, his face drenched in sweat and muscles aching. When he looked toward your house, darkness had consumed it once more, and you were long gone.

***

Billy, Susan, and Max spent Saturday unpacking boxes and reassembling furniture. (Neil had helped for about thirty minutes, but as soon as his easy chair was set up, he became useless.) Throughout the day, Billy peeked out the window whenever he could, hoping to steal a glimpse of you. Once, he spotted you walking your dog down the sidewalk. Another time, you were sweeping the porch. It wasn’t until that evening, however, when Billy was taping posters up on the walls of his new bedroom, that he was able to see you for more than a few seconds at a time.

The room across from Billy’s had been dead all day. Billy didn’t think much of it; he figured your family probably used it for storage or something. But then, a switch flipped, suddenly illuminating the space with color. To be more, accurate, actually, it illuminated the space with yellow. Everything-the pale walls, the sunflower-printed quilt over the bed, the painted dresser-everything in the room was coated in different shades of yellow. It might have made him want to vomit if you hadn’t appeared in the doorway, shifting his focus from the horrid color scheme of your bedroom to the princess who inhabited it.

He watched for several minutes while you paced around your room, ponytail swinging behind you. You brought one nail up to your lips to chew on it; clearly, something was bothering you. Eventually, you flopped onto your bed and reached for an object on the bedside table-a dandelion-hued telephone. To Billy’s surprise, he was able to make out the words you spoke into the phone-probably because of your bad habit of leaving windows open.

“Hey, Darcy. It’s Y/N,” you said.

Y/N. What a nice name.

“Yeah, so I’m calling for advice...Apparently, we have new neighbors, and-I don’t know if they’ve got a son, Darce! My mom just mentioned at dinner that someone by the name of Neil Hargrove bought Mrs. Chesterfield’s old house...Wait, you recognize that name?”

You listened for a moment, then shot up quickly.

“No way,” you said, almost too quietly for Billy to hear. “Wait, hang on, Darce. It’s really cold in here-I must have forgotten the close the window this morning.”

Billy dove towards the floor as you rose from your bed. Gentle footsteps padded across carpet. Then, there was a faint click of glass and the jerk of curtains being pulled. When Billy peeked out his window again, he could only make out a shadowy figure holding a rectangle up to her ear.

“You know, Billy, you’re a lot of things, but I never took you for a Peeping Tom.”

A wiry redhead stood in the doorway to his room, a smug smirk on her lips.

“Buzz off, Max,” Billy said, slamming the door in the know-it-all’s face.

***

Sunday morning.

After stirring out of bed, Billy headed towards his window. He squinted at the room opposite his in the bright sunlight, but there was not much to see. The house was still motionless, lifeless-the curtains still drawn over the window. He had no idea what time it actually was. His alarm clock read 9:32, but that couldn’t have been right. Neil never would have let Billy sleep past 7:00 for fear of him wasting the day away like a lazy bum. Finally, Billy remembered: Today, the elder Hargrove started at his new job.

Billy pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans before stumbling into the kitchen, still half-drunken with sleep. Aside from the television droning on in the corner of the room, the place was just as dead as the neighbors’. He knew Susan planned to spend the day applying to various jobs in town, but Max wouldn’t have wanted to tag along. Thankfully, a short note left on the counter explained her whereabouts: Skateboarding. Be back never.

God. They drag him to this stupid town and then ditch him within a day.

Itching for a glass of orange juice, Billy whipped open the refrigerator door. It, of course, was empty, and it would probably stay that way for a few days, unless Billy made a trip to the grocery store himself. Not wanting to deal with the stares of overly-nosy fellow shoppers trying to place the new face, Billy settled for tap water.

He leaned against the sink as he tipped the glass to his lips. He downed the entire cup in one go, then gazed out the window. Across his overgrown lawn, Billy spotted a tiny flurry of motion. A small girl was making a beeline towards his house.

“Shit,” Billy mumbled. He panicked, knowing he had about a minute to make himself presentable. Billy wasted about thirty seconds making a mental list of hygenic priorities before realizing that if he kept thinking, he wouldn’t be able to accomplish any of them. He managed to gargle a bit of mouthwash and run a comb through his curls before a gentle fist knocked at the front door.

“Coming!” Billy called from his bedroom. He jogged through the hallway and flung open the door before actually halting to a complete stop.

You stood on the front step, slightly rocking on your heels. Billy first noticed that you were even prettier up close. Then, a sweet, fruity smell drifted to his nostrils, and he glanced down at the glass dish in your arms, covered by a dishrag.

You cleared your throat. Billy wondered if the strain in his voice had anything to do with the fact that he hadn’t showered yet today. But then you flashed him a shy smile, and it was enough to melt away his fears.

“Hi,” you piped up. “I’m Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N? My parents and I live next door. I, um-I just wanted to welcome your family to the neighborhood.”

Billy chuckled despite himself.

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but it’s just me here,” he said.

“Consider me thoroughly disappointed,” you said with a wink. “In all honesty, though, it’s lovely to meet you, uh…”

“Billy,” he said, finally mirroring your grin. “Nice to meet you, too, Y/N.” He gestured to the covered dish in your hands. “What’s that?”

“Oh!” you cried in realization.

You tugged at the cloth, revealing a pastry with a beautiful lattice design sprinkled with sugar on top. Billy started salivating almost immediately. He hadn’t been this close in proximity to a homemade baked good like that in years. Not since, well…

“I didn’t know what kind of pie you guys would like. Heck, I didn’t even know if you guys liked sweets, but I wanted to do something nice for my new neighbors. I figured most people will at least tolerate apple pie, so...” You started bouncing on your heels again, and it was so cute that Billy almost forgot to respond.

“This looks...amazing,” he said honestly, then stepped back a little to allow you room to pass. “Do you want to come in for a bit? We could sample this masterpiece together.”

You bit your lip, gaze darting toward your house anxiously.

“I-I probably shouldn’t. My dad would lose it if he knew I was alone in a house with a guy.”

It was Billy’s turn to wink at you.

“I won’t tell him if you don’t.”

The corners of your mouth tugged upwards. You glanced toward your home once more before darting into Billy’s, claiming that “one piece of pie won’t hurt.”

Taglist: @novaddictx @sweetboibilly

If you want to be added to the taglist for my writing or for a specific character, leave a reply or send me a message! Thanks for reading. <3

If you liked this story, feel free to check out my masterlist. :)

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x fem!reader #billy hargrove x fem #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove drabble #billy hargrove one shot #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #parker-potter writes

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fawnideer · 5 years ago

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Kyoutani Headcanons

Kyo is my favorite Haikyuu boy and he deserves more recognition :( so here I am @ 3am writing out all the Kyoutani headcanons I can remember lmaooo

Animals love him. Like, ALL animals: large, tiny, old, young. Kyoutani himself doesn’t know why, but he’s never really questioned it. The team finds it funny because people are so wary of Kyoutani yet animals just aren’t intimidated by him at all

A family of ducks once followed him across the street so that they could cross safely. It made the local news

He has a little sister, who’s in elementary school. She’s the polar opposite of Kyoutani- sweet, adorable, sensitive, harmless, etc., and he walks or drives her to/from school every day

Kyoutani is a surprisingly calm and quiet driver, although he does speed and it doesn’t take much for him to get road-rage

He drives his dad’s old 2003 Toyota Corolla (it’s red), and he got his license at a younger age than normal so that he could drive his sister around. He didn’t like the idea of her walking by herself to a friend’s house or to their grandparents’ house

Kyoutani’s mom passed away when he was young (around age 10). His sister was only 2, so she doesn’t remember much of their mother. But apparently, according to their dad, Kyoutani has a lot of her features

Kyoutani’s mom was black, so he’s got her curly hair and darker skin tone

Though Kyoutani won’t ever admit this, another reason why he dyed his hair was because he was tired of his dad looking at him with this odd sadness in his eyes, as if he was the embodiment of his mom

His dad has a drinking problem. It started after Kyo’s mom passed because his parents were really close and very much in love. He used to be close to his dad when he was young, but he became distant, and now he never sees him since he’s always at work

Kyoutani’s grandparents (on his mom’s side) are financially very well-off, and they help out a lot in paying for his school expenses (Aoba Johsai is a private school so it’s expensive af, but his grandparents love and support his volleyball dreams)

Kyoutani and his fam live in a small house in a run-down neighborhood. This is part of the reason why he always looks so scary, because as a kid he thought that the older neighborhood kids were terrifying delinquents who would beat him up if he didn’t look intimidating enough

His dog is a shepherd mutt and her name is Bella. Kyoutani talks to her (and all animas) in a gentle, quiet little voice that is very out-of-character for him

Sometimes his dad gets violent when he drinks too much (though this rarely happens because he is rarely home from work). Kyoutani sends his sister to their grandparents’ house for the night to keep her safe

Kyoutani hates hot weather. It makes him mad because you can only take off so many layers of clothing to try and seek relief from the heat, yet when it’s cold, you can add layer after layer and you’ll be able to warm up endlessly until you’re no longer cold

He has insomnia. When he can’t sleep, he watches volleyball films and tries to take note of certain techniques. Or, he watches long medical documentaries, because they’re so boring that they put him right to sleep

When he was a kid, he wanted a dog so bad that when he got a goldfish for a pet, he literally named it “dog”

Kyo has a thing for legs. Like, if he has a crush and said crush wears shorts it will murder him 100%

Once, on his way to school, he rescued a baby squirrel that had fallen out of a tree and put it in his jacket to keep it warm. He got to volleyball practice that morning and took it out of his jacket and Watari cried when he saw it because it was just so damn cute. Since then the team has seen him in a softer light :’)

He and Watari actually vibe pretty well, because Watari is quiet and respects his personal space and he’s got a generally calming presence. Kyoutani just feels very comfortable around him, and though he’s never said it aloud, Watari knows this because Kyo will come and stand/sit by him when the rest of the team is loud and/or getting on his nerves

He hates scarves because he hates when things touch his face, which is why his hair is short and has stayed that way. Otherwise it would get in his face and annoy the crap out of him

His favorite curse word is “fuck” but his favorite insult is “shit-bag”

When he gets overly annoyed, his legs/arms twitch and it’s impossible for him to sit still

In general he finds it hard to sit still, because staying in one place/position for so long is boring

He’s horrible at writing and spelling and he isn’t too great math, but he understands science fairly well, especially physics

Once his respect is earned, he’ll stay loyal until his trust is broken. If you break his trust, it will be nearly impossible to gain it back

He’s stubborn as shit, except when it comes to his little sister because he’s whipped for her and he’d do almost anything she asked

In grade school he really liked playing with clay in art class (because it’s squishy and he gets to smash it, duh), and he’d always bring home the clay animal sculptures he’d made to show his dad. His dad kept them all, and they all sit on a shelf in the living room. Kyo finds this incredibly embarrassing, but he doesn’t have the guts to tell his dad to move them

He doesn’t use his phone much, except when he wants a distraction or when he wants people to avoid talking to him. His texts are simple and he uses lots of abbreviations to hide the face that he can’t spell for shit (example: “r u comin 2 practice”, “tht suckd”, “u = shit”)

Kyoutani is surprisingly good at fixing gadgety things and untying complicated knots. The smaller the task or issue is, the easier it is for him to figure out- like, smaller knots are less frustrating to untie than bigass ones

He hates long distance running, he’d rather run sprints. However, he prefers lifting weights as his form of working out because Iwaizumi lifts weights duh

Contrary to popular belief (since Kyo is a lil punk), Kyoutani doesn’t listen to screamo or heavy metal. In fact, he kinda hates it because he doesn’t like having someone yelling directly in his ears. That shit’s stressful and just makes him a n g e r y

He’s ambidextrous but prefers using his left hand. Unless he’s with other people, then he uses his right hand (he doesn’t know why, it’s just what he does)

When he blushes, you can barely see it on his face, and his expression doesn’t really change all that much, but his ears turn bright red and it’s super cute (but don’t tell him that or he’ll figuratively kick ur ass)

....aaaand that’s it :) I might add to this or make another list later on because my brain is literally like KYOUTANIKYOUTANIKYOUTANI all the fucking time

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house-in-the-backyard-trees · 5 years ago

Text

cruel summer song analysis

y’all can ignore this part i’m just babbling on for a paragraph. i should be going to sleep so i’m well rested for my driver’s license test tomorrow but instead i’m analyzing cruel summer bc it confuses me somewhat and i’ve seen other people voice their confusion so here we go

fever dream high in the quiet of the night

you know that i caught it

bad bad boy

shiny toy, with a price

you know that i bought it

killing me slow

i take this whole section as she fell for a bad boy or for someone that she shouldn’t have - someone who had a price. he was shiny and new (the new links to the chorus) and intrigued her so she “bought” him but he was killing her slowly.

out the window

i’m always waiting for you to be waiting below

this reminds me of teen movies where they sneak out the window. he’s waiting for her below her window to catch her (i just added this thought in last minute. alternatively, maybe she’s always waiting for him. maybe he’s NOT waiting below.)

devils roll the dice

angels roll their eyes

i love this line even though it took me a while to make sense of it. dice is a repeated motif of the album (miss americana where they’re rolling fake dice. there’s probably another one but the album literally just came out give me a break) so you can see through these two examples that rolling the dice and leaving it up to chance isn’t good. the angels are rolling their eyes at the devils playing games with fate.

what doesn’t kill me

makes me what you more

from this point, i’m getting serious ikywt vibes.

and it’s new

the shape of your body

at this point, i’m connecting the song to “gorgeous” and “getaway car” where we had the whole messy situation of hey i have a boyfriend but i don’t want him anymore and i think i like you and i think this song is here to further help us fill in that timeline. maybe the actual dates of the timeline don’t add up (according to taylor’s diary entries she and joe started dating around september/october (see also her cover of september) but i’m going to try to refrain from prying too much into her private life for the analysis because even with the diary entries we get, we still don’t know everything) BUT i would like to say before i continue that this song doesn’t strike me as a new relationship song. it strikes me as a we’re messing around song which could have happened in summer and then they started dating in september. get my drift?

it’s blue

the feeling i got and it’s

ooh

it’s a cruel summer

blue is typically a sad color, so she’s feeling down about everything that happens in the rest of the song

it’s cool

that’s what i tell ‘em

no rules in breakable heaven but

ooh

it’s a cruel summer

with you

so the breakable heaven line fascinates me. heaven is perfect but this one is breakable. it’s lovely and angelic but when there are no rules here, all hell breaks loose.

hang your head low

in the glow of the vending machine

i’m not dying

we say that we’ll just screw

it up in these trying times

we’re not trying

this section was what really got me to think that they were fwb before they decided to get serious, which is solidified later on in the song. we’ll screw up the relationship and the feelings part of this, so we won’t try that part. we’ll just have fun. remember, there are no rules.

so cut the headlights

summer’s a knife

i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

devils roll the dice

angels roll their eyes

but if i bleed you’ll be the last to know

i think that “i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone” and “but if i bleed you’ll be the last to know” go together since we’ve already heard the two lines in between them. she’s waiting for him to cut to the chase and when he does, if she bleeds, she won’t let him know. if he tells her something she doesn’t like, she won’t let him know it hurt her.

i’m drunk in the back of the car

and i cried like a baby coming home from the bar

said i’m fine but it wasn’t true

i don’t want to keep secrets

just to keep you

the whole bridge also brings me back to “gorgeous” and “getaway car”. here i’m theorizing so don’t come after me. it feels like she was sneaking around with him, maybe while seeing someone else - maybe while that relationship was on its last dregs - or maybe not - and she was tired of keeping secrets. when she came back from the bar, she finally realized after this fling that it wasn’t a fling anymore to her. she wanted to keep him.

and i snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer

just to seal my fate

see, more sneaking. i’ll elaborate on what i mean when i said that maybe she was sneaking around with him while she wasn’t seeing someone. she’s taylor, if she wants to see someone new without people finding out, she has to get crafty. and maybe she got tired of doing it

and i scream for whatever it’s worth,

i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?

it wasn’t a fling to her anymore, so it was the worst thing she’d ever heard to know that she loved him.

he looks up grinning like a devil

so, does he love her too? that’s the question. i just thought of something. devils roll the dice. he looks up grinning like a devil. what if he’s the one rolling the dice and she’s rolling her eyes at him? i can’t elaborate much more on that because i literally just thought of that just now.

#cruel summer #lover #song analysis #taylor swift #taylor swift lover #taylor swift song analysis #swiftie #taylor swift cruel summer

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yourheroserene · 5 years ago

Note

Polyship Hanayama/Baki/Kozue for number 7?

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

Because Kaoru has the hookup, he’s gonna be the one handling the car for the evening. So when it’s time to meet up, Kaoru rolls up at Baki/Kozue’s place in a nice car with a driver. But even before then, Baki and Kozue spend the early evening getting ready. Baki and Kozue shower together, something they like to do for times when they go out together. Kozue takes double time, cause she’s gotta do both her and Baki’s hair. Baki and Kozue will go out of their way to wear at least one nice thing that Kaoru has bought them. For Baki, it’s some silk socks, and for Kozue it’s her gold hair clip that rests on top of her ponytail, with a flower made of rhinestones standing up on top. You know, 90s bedazzle.

Kaoru knocks on the door and is let in by Mrs. Matsumoto, who lets him know the others are still getting ready, just as Baki and Kozue yell it across the house too. They’re both excited. Baki is ready first, since Kozue also does makeup, and doesn’t want the boys to see until the look is finished. Baki comes out to greet Kaoru, jumping on him, and grabbing his neck from behind in a youthful hug. Kaoru barely shifts, the pillar he is, but a small smile comes over his face as he looks back to greet Baki. Baki jokes around and chats up Kaoru for a little while, as Kozue finishes and comes out to join them.

She asks them what they think, and at first they both can’t see, since Baki jokingly took Kaoru’s glasses and put them on, rendering both his and Kaoru’s sight useless. Taking his glasses back, Kaoru sits at attention, giver her an up-and-down once over, sternly asking what she thinks of herself. Kozue blushes, as Baki is beside himself with admiration for her beauty.

Kozue, looking down shyly, says “Well, I think everything come together nicely. I’m really happy about the new skirt.”

“Then imagine that happiness tenfold, and that’s how I feel about your look tonight,” Kaoru smoothly responds. Kozue’s face lights up as she cups it with her hands, expecting that Kaoru always says something so over the top. She loves when it comes from his stoic demeanor.

“You’re the prettiest girl in the WORLD Kozue!!!” Baki interjects. He can’t hold it in, and he waited his turn! “Your hair and your skin and your makeup, all perfect! and I knew that shirt would go with the new skirt!” He’s nearly vibrating with his affection, and both he and Kozue mutually skip to each other, clasp hands and dip in to touch noses. Very cheesy romance stuff, and it’s touching.

Kaoru says it’s time to go, and they all head out to the car. Tonight is Dinner and movie, Baki’s turn for suggesting. Though Kozue limited the choice at one dinner, lol. Kaoru said he’s surprise them for the restaurant, and boy, was he right. Coming to a stop, Baki and Kozue get out first to see the place Kaoru picked, a fine French restaurant, boasting a gold-gilded 5-star sign above the name. Warm ambient light emanating from within, Baki and Kozue just look on in anticipating amazement. Kaoru, the mountain he is, gets out after to walk them in, recounting how his family ‘does business’ with the owner.

At the table, Baki is the first to have an issue, trying his hardest to make sense of the french dishes and ingredients, all written in the Latin alphabet. Squinting and grimacing for a while, all to the bemusement of Kaoru and Kozue, Baki finally throws his head back, leans back on is seat and exhales sharply that he can’t read the menu. With a chuckle, Kozue also admits though she knows some of the words, she’d rather Kaoru order for her so she knows it’ll be good. Baki then lunges forward into the menu once more, thinking he’ll somehow get it now, and strains to say every sound out.

“I visualized that I went to a bunch of French classes, took the tests, and got a license for French! I don’t get why it failed!” Baki sighed, defeated.

“You don’t get a license for French, idiot. But I’d have one if they made them,” said Kaoru.

Baki sticks out his tongue and sneers. “Well order for me then, Francois.”

After dinner, they decide to leave the car and walk the few blocks to the movie theater. Baki exaggeratedly kicks out his legs in a waddle, to show how full he is. Kaoru knows just how much can fill Baki up for a nice meal. Kozue muses with hands clasped to the side of her face, just how rich the lobster was, and how smoothly the sauce balanced savory and sweet flavors. She nearly drools, regardless of having just eaten, craving that 5-star dinner. Kaoru is proud of himself, and tries not to show it, but Baki and Kozue see the smug smirk and tip-toe up to him, each giving him a kiss on the cheek in appreciation.

They arrive at the theater, and go in circles about what genre of movie to see, Kozue eventually being voted out by Baki and Kaoru. They were going to see a Western. Yeehaw.

“But I thought you’s WANNA see the one about the mafia fighting the cops, Hanayama!” Kozue groans, slouching over where she stood. “bleeeeeeh”

“It’s not the same!” Kaoru sticks his pointer finger up. “The COPS are the heroes in that one. one of my subordinates saw it and warned me. I’m not about to watch some cop-loving snoozefest.”

“I’ve been really into dehydration training, so I’m trying to study up some pointer from cowboys. You KNOW they only drank like, once a week right?” Baki exclaims, settling the discussion on this entirely new brand of stupid.

“Why are you like this, Baki?” Kozue and Kaoru both think in a psychic meld. Both of them lay a hand on each of Baki’s shoulders. In another psychic, morosexual moment, they think “God, I love him” as Baki blinks passively.

Inside the theater, and at their isle, they go through their ritual of rock paper scissors to decide who sits in the middle. Baki with his demonic luck as won 5 times in a row. Make that 6. They go to take their seats, squeezing in close, and not just because Kaoru is a big guy. The film flies by, interwoven by whisper-giggles, held hands, and popcorn-passing.

As they leave the theater, the car comes back around to pick them up. On the ride home, Baki asks Kozue if she’ll be alright if he stays with Kaoru tonight.

“I’m a big girl, Baki. You literally live with me, so one night to myself is a great time to get ahead on my studies!” she winks. A dew gathers at Baki’s eyes, him feigning a puppy dog look at her.

“You mean you won’t miss me??”

“Nope. Not one bit.”

“hnnnn??” Baki gets up close to Kozue’s face. He puckers his lips together like a fish and cries, “But I’ll miss youuuu-” Kozue meets him with her lips, stunning Baki with their softness.

“Don’t be a dummy, babe,” Kozue meets his eyes, stroking his hair down and tucks some behind his ear. Baki sighs with blissful satisfaction and closes his eyes, looking like a cat in a ray of sun. The car has already stopped at the Matsumoto household, and as Kozue gets out, Kaoru grabs her hand, managing a kiss of his own on the back of it. Taking the opportunity of a seated Kaoru showing the top of his head, Kozue also strokes his hair, then down to his cheek, causing Kaoru to just slightly flush, hiding his gaze behind the reflection of his glasses.

“Goodnight, boys.”

“Same” says Kaoru.

“See you tomorrow!” yells Baki. Kozue heads inside, as Baki and Kaoru drive away, Baki yawning and laying his head on Kaoru’s lap for the ride back to his place.

#baki #baki the grappler #grappler baki #baki 2018 #netflix #polyshipping #kozue #kaoru hanayama #baki hanma #ship headcanon meme #my writing #yourheroserene #I'm loving these asks so much #I went so ham with this one #I'm so glad I got to just indulge for a while #I've been so busy with other #artistic committments

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bolbianddolanhouse · 5 years ago

Text

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 27: Honey, You Got a Big Storm Comin’!

It’s days before summer vacation but the intel students aren’t stressin’ as much as the hero class. I get summoned to help out.

-Wednesday night in the hero dorms-

“...and that’s how it should be written out” I said as I finished writing on the portable white board “remember! Use symbols for the graph so it’s easier to explain in the written part.”

“That’s so much easier!” cried out Sato “my brain feels like funnel cake trying to figure out the two.”

All of the hero class was huddled in the commons room to take note on all the tips and simplified explanations. “Any other questions?” I check the time “it’s literally past your bedtimes.”

“I believe that was everything on the review sheet” Tokoyami uttered as he scanned through his marked up work sheet.

“Alrighty then” I pack up my note books and markers “don’t hesitate to ask me anything about the material before your exam” the class gives a collective thumbs up “see y’all tomorrow at school.” I say before teleporting out.

“Man I wish she still lived with us” sighed Kirishima “then we could just knock on her door for help instead of accommodating her like this.”

“But it’s nearly summertime!” yawned Uraraka “we’re going to see a whole lot of her, I can feel it.”

-Friday, after school in the halls-

“Oof I don’t even know if I did well enough” Mina cried out as everyone walked down the hall “I wonder how Palma-san does it.”

“Seriously!” tiredly sighed Hagakure “she doesn’t even break a sweat over the material but her explanations did help.”

“Speaking of which” Asui spoke up “I wonder how she did on her exams, kero.”

“All she had to study for was her vehicle exam” Kaminari butted in “lucky for her, she gets all the fun.”

They get to the front of the school “Hey, isn’t that her?” Aoyama points to her as she fiddles with her bag speaker.

“Oh it is!” Kirishima waved to get her attention “HEY PALMA-SAN! YO!”

“Hmm? Oh hi yall!” she hollered back “how was the exam?”

“Tough! How do you do it?” Midoriya eagerly asked.

“Heh, yall clearly never fought for fun, played strategy games nor got into a sport” she slung on her backpack “back in America, all I did was strategy to win my daily fist fights from my siblings and played video games on hard mode” she let out a giggle “all just to make life less boring.”

“What are your plans for summer break Palma-san?” asked Sero, trying to change the subject.

“I guess just to stay cool and do some more training” she sighed “I have another practice exam and I need to hone my ability and get mentally and physically stronger.”

“When’s the exam?” asked Sato in awe.

“In December BUT that doesn’t mean I can slack my training” she puts up her fists “I gotta go sicko mode until I complete my exam.” She checks the time “oof gotta zoot! It’s my turn to cook dinner and I need a few things” she starts to roller skate away “bye yall!”

-Saturday late morning, hero dorms-

“Is there anything else I can assist you with Shinso” Iida chopped sternly at Shinso as he was led back to his new dorm.

“You covered everything” Shinso replied “I’ll just settle in for now.”

“Don’t hesitate to ask us for help, I’m 4 doors down if you need me.” Iida said as he walked to his dorm.

Shinso groaned as he closed the door of his dorm “what a drag that was! Palma-san was right, it is a pain in the ass to live with these kids.” He spoke to himself as he put his clothes away.

There was a knock on his door “Who is it?”

“Special delivery~”

“From who?”

“Your next dorm neighbor!”

“I’m not opening the door!”

“That’s ok! I’ll just warp in!” in a blink of an eye, Palma teleports in her track shorts and graphic tee “Hi Shinso! Welcome to the neighborhood!”

“Oh it’s you!” Shinso chuckled “For a moment I thought I was getting pranked!”

“Trust me, nobody is going to prank you” she rolled her eyes “they’ll just knock on your door and pester you on dumb shit” she holds out a small cake box “here, I made you some treats as a welcome gift!”

“Thanks” he takes the box “hey do you know the forbidden rules of the dorms?”

“Of course I do” she stops herself from saying them, why does he want to know? “I’m guessing Iida mentioned something about them?”

“Something like that” he sets the box on the desk “I want to enjoy my time living here and I just want to know how far I can push the rules.”

“If you put it like that, sit down, it’s a lot to remember” she took a deep breath “lights out is at 8pm but that just means to turn-off the main lights in your rooms and not make noise. If you’re out here having sex in your dorm, I suggest putting the mattress on the floor for a non-incriminating session, side note from that, only UA students are allowed in the dorms and they have to leave before 10am the next day. You’re not allowed to go between dorm buildings unless accompanied by an intel student or it’s a training exercise. You can smoke BUT you have to do it on the roof and clean up after. Pets allowed but they must be under 80 pounds. And finally, anything that goes down in that far quarter of the shared field is fair game, the cameras don’t reach that far.”

“Interesting, I don’t think I’ll be sneaking in kitties since there’s already one here” smirked Shinso.

“OH! you met Catptain!” she gushed “isn’t he such a sweetie?!”

“Yea, Iida couldn’t shut up on how you convinced everyone to get one” he stopped and looked into her eyes “you two dating?”

“Nope”

“Do you like him?”

“As a friend, he’s made it clear that he sees me as a sibling.”

“Ouch” he gets close to her face “his loss, why would anybody leave you alone, pretty kitty” he rubbed her chin “you want to play, kitty?”

“Careful Shinso” she warned as she grabbed his hand to stop rubbing her chin “this kitty has claws and a naughty side” she mocked his tone “don’t play with me unless it’s for keeps.” she let out a giggle “but seriously, you can’t hang at the level I’m at” she turns to leave “maybe some other time.”

As he watched her walk out to the hallway, so did the other boys. “Shinso-kun no fair!” wailed Mineta “you’ve been visited by-” Kaminari put his hand on Mineta’s mouth.

“Shhh! you want Iida to hear?” Kaminari shushed “don’t forget what we’re trying to do!”

Aoyama turns to Shinso to clarify “we can’t utter her name within earshot of Iida-kun” his face gets gloomy “he dashes out every time, trying to find his princess” he strikes a dramatic pose “oh the forbidden love they carry in their hearts!~”

Tokoyami sighs “You forgot the important part Yuga” he turns to Shinso “all of us are trying to get him to confess to her” he stressfully rubs his furrowed brow “but every time he doubts himself even though he has very strong feelings toward her.”

“That’s not what Pal- I MEAN she told me” Shinso corrected himself “she told me that he sees her as a sibling.”

“A SIBLING?!” they all yelled.

“Yeah, but it was nice of her to bring me a welcome gift” Shinso bluntly said as he pointed to the box on the desk.

“Open the box Shinso-kun” Mineta demanded “if I’m correct, she might be eyeing you as her next object of affection.”

Shinso opens the box and his eyes widen “it’s cat paw cookies” he ate one and he lost his cool “damn, these are delicious! like, I can taste the love and effort she put into these.”

“So she is eyeing you” Sero narrows his eyes “Iida-kun really can’t talk to her.”

-Fast forward, Tuesday in the hero dorms-

“Hey Midoriya-kun” Shinso called out as he looked out to the shared field “what is she doing? It’s been a few days since I’ve noticed and I don’t know.”

“Hmm? Oh you’re talking about Palma-san and her squadron” Midoriya looked at what he’s looking at “they’re doing endurance and stamina training. Palma-san tells me that she never learned where she lands on the stamina scale.”

“Why is that a thing for her?” Shinso asked more confused than before.

“Well I did some research after what I learned about her quirks” he pulls out his notebook to the section on her “she has two quirks that drains body and mind, so her body is built to withstand extremes. So she has stamina that can last her through anything, lest she over-exerts herself with a copied quirk.” he closes his notebook and sighs “none of us could tire her out in battle, Shoto almost did but she lasted just enough before passing out.” he starts to mutter “it’s also worth noting that she can stay up 5 days with no sleep and can recover super fast. There’s basically nothing that can keep her down.”

Shinso processes this new info as he watches her bare-knuckle fight the skinny one “what else do you know about her?”

“She has a drivers license, doesn’t use her quirks in fights unless it’s necessary” he tries to think of more “well... she’s full of talents and surprises! Her program calls her Wild Card for her surprise elements.”

“With that type of power, why isn’t she a hero?”

“Beats me!” Midoriya sighs “Iida-kun, the teachers, and her squadron knows. Ask her if you’re that curious about it, that’s how I was able to write her section.”

Shinso spends the next few days just observing her training and other behaviors, not really paying attention to his new living situation.

“Oi Shinso!” Sero snaps Shinso out of his staring “do you play League of Legends by any chance?”

“No, why would I play something so geeky?” he responded with scorn.

“Aw, we wanted to build a bigger team to take down the intel team” Sero explained “it’s game night and Palma-sama and her team are coming over to play some LoL with us.” he points to Mineta, Kaminari, Sato and Tokoyami setting up the console and TV.

“Palma-san plays fantasy games with you?” Shinso arched his brow in confusion.

“Yep! We play all the time” Sato replied as he connected his controller “but she always beats us, she’s that good.”

At that moment, the intel team portaled in “We’re here!” Palma exclaimed “yall ready to get ya ass whooped!?”

“I brought fried rice!” Jin cried out as he lifts his dish in the air.

Shinso was awestruck on how not only she was winning round after round but also that she has so much personality. The question still burned in the back of his mind ‘why are you like this?’

-Fast Forward: Thursday, 4 days until school starts, at the pool deck-

“Aw heck the hero class is here too” Mimi whined as they walked up to the gate.

“Midnight did tell us that we’d have to share” Ita spoke up “ni modo! we need to do our endurance training.”

“I’m just nervous because we don’t have school issued swim suits” Jin looks at his swim trunks “I look like a weeb with these Naruto trunks.”

“Hi yall! Don’t mind us!” Ita yelled to as a distraction tactic to make Jin feel better.

“Ita! What brings you to the pool?” Iida pants as he pokes his head out from the water.

“The squad and I have some endurance training” she made a fist “plus I copied a water quirk, so that’ll be fun to train with!”

The 3 did some warm-ups before diving in. Everyone stopped to watch them unzip out of their track clothes to unveil their swimsuits. Ita was wearing a purple one piece, Mimi a green one piece and Jin in his Naruto swim trunks. They watched as Mimi and Jin jumped in first and Ita walking on the water.

“WOW! How are you doing that?!” cried out a bunch of the hero students.

“Oh, I just push the flow of the water up on the soles of my feet” she responded. After a few rounds of vigorous endurance exercises, the others notice that we didn’t do any swimming.

“Hold the phone!” Mineta hollered to stop our session “how come you don’t swim swim? Isn’t the whole point of using the pool deck is to swim!”

We looked at each other and laughed “Silly ball brain!” chortled Mimi “we’re the fastest swimmers in our program!”

“Yeah! There’s no point in doing laps if there’s no resistance in the water” wheezed Jin “we all learned to swim in the ocean as children.”

“Hell I bet we can swim with somebody on our backs and still be faster than any of you!” I cackled as the other two nodded their heads, agreeing with me.

“Oh yea!? We challenge you to a no-quirks lap relay!” Bakugo growled “it’s about time we take you down a few notches.”

“Oh it’s ON Blasty!” I growled back “my squad ain’t scared of y’all!”

“What’s the rules chief?” Jin asked as he swam to the marked lanes.

“No-quirks, 5 laps freestyle” Kirishima spoke up “first squad to finish is the victor.”

We get in our lanes and go up against Bakugo, Midoriya and Kirishima. And as expected, the hero squad lagged behind by 40 seconds.

“Oh wow!” I sarcastically stressed my words “looks like our place was in 1st.”

“I’ll get you next time!” Bakugo exploded “you can’t be good at everything!”

Shinso was overlooking everything in the shade, with his towel draped over his shoulders. He doesn’t fully understand why she’s the way she is, nothing is making sense and yet nobody is questioning either! Shinso decided that is was time to ask a certain someone about her.

-Later the same day, in the hero dorms-

Shinso knocks on Iida’s door.

“Come in!” Iida looks up from his book “Oh Shinso-kun, what brings you to my-”

Shinso cuts him off “Tell me everything you know about Palma-san.”

Iida glupped hard and shakily fixes his glasses “Well, she’s a pretty open person!” he struggles to keep his cool “you can ask her anything!”

“I’ve heard that you know the real reason why she’s in the intelligence program” Shinso takes a slow step forward “in fact, they all said that you confronted her and she lost her temper because of it” he takes another step “she won’t tell anybody else, so tell me lover boy, what is she hiding?!”

“I won’t!” Iida stands up to stop him from coming anything closer “I made a promise that I wouldn’t tell anybody her reasons” he takes off his glasses “she’s been through hell since coming here, she just wants good company and freedom to do what she wants.”

“Okay, so tell me this” Shinso had a sly smirk on his face “if you know so much about her, then why aren’t you her boyfriend?” he takes another step “I’ve seen you two interact and you’re all over her like a puppy!”

Iida was taken back “it’s inappropriate to be dating a classmate that has helped us the way she has!” blush creeped up on his face, incriminating himself “she’s my good friend that I care and admire!”

“It’s not like you to blush” he takes another step, just at arms reach of Iida “you’re hopelessly in love with her, admit it!”

“She’s just my-”

“Oh just a friend? Then you won’t mind if I walk over to her” Shinso points to the window, where you can see all of the intel students having a picnic on their side of the field “and ask her to go out with me.”

“DON’T!” Iida blurted before he could restrain himself “I mean- don’t because, um, you’re not her type.”

“Not her type?” Shinso was getting satisfied from breaking Iida down “so you think you’re her type?”

Iida sighed in defeat and sat back down in his desk chair “Okay, so I do like her and we spend a lot of time together” he puts his glasses back on “she’s just so...tiny and sweet and soft” he looks out the window “she smells like marshmallows and flowers, loves the beach, everything she makes is delicious, cries watching Pokemon movies, sleeps with 5 pillows” he sighs longingly “and her singing is angelic, like you’re in the presence of a goddess. Oh the things I’d do to keep her from harm, if she was my girlfriend, I’d be the happiest boy on earth.”

“So what’s the problem?” Shinso raises an eyebrow.

Iida looks away from the window “I fear her rejection and ruining our friendship with my desire to be more” he made eye contact with Shinso “on top of all that, she’s still mourning the life she left behind in America. Confessing would be like insulting her in a way.”

“In mourning? What did she-”

“Look, all I have to say” Iida interrupted “she calls the shots and don’t pry information from her. I’m lucky enough to still be friends with her after all I’d done.”

“Hmm, I’ll keep that in mind” Shinso turns to leave “when I’m kissing her.”

-First day of 2nd term-

“Man, this extra desk is really bothering me” Kaminari commented as they waited for the last class of the day to start “like why is it all the way in the middle of the row?”

“That’s Palma-san’s seat” Jiro spoke up “that’s where she lies on the class ranking if she was in the hero program.”

“I heard that Midnight arranged it like that because she favors her” Momo whispered to Mina “how lucky that Palma-san is!”

In an instant, she teleports in “Hi yall!”

“Yay you’re here!” the girls cheered.

“Oh, is that my seat?!” I look at the surrounding desks “looks like we’re still desk buddies Kirishima.”

“EVERYONE TO YOUR SEATS! CLASS IS ABOUT TO-” Iida announced as he rushed in the class but stopped when he saw Ita sit down. “What a surprise! Our dear classmate has arrived!”

“Tenya sit down!” I scolded “you’re embarrassing me~”

“He has reason to be praising” Aizawa walked in with a stack of papers “you helped raise the class average” he set the papers down “but let see if you can all upkeep that in this half.”

“Your tutoring really helped!” Mina jumped “I got my first 90 percent since starting here.”

Class started and I saw that I was seated between Shinso and Iida. So I got a nice view of the back of Shinso’s head and his backpack and Iida was lucky enough to see the top of my head with all my curls resting on my shoulders. Sensei explained the course and all the off-campus training.

“...and we’re going to have dress out training twice a week” the class groaned when he said that “I don’t want to hear how awful it is! This section is important to hero work.”

I raised my hand.

“Oh? Yes Palma-san?” surprised by my hand, Aizawa called upon me.

“Do I dress out with support items too? Or will I have restrictions again?”

“The same restrictions apply but you do have to dress out like you are going on a mission outside of school” Aizawa explained “so your unmarked jumpsuit and belt will be kept here when you dress out for convenience.”

“Okay, thank you sensei.”

“Moving on, today, we’re going to have some confrontation practice with Cementoss.”

I raise my hand again.

“That includes you too Palma-san” he groaned “as much as it’s not part of your line of work, you unfortunately have to do everything they do this term.”

“Well that’s wack” I dropped my hand and pouted “whatever! I’ll play along.”

We get in our gym clothes and meet with Cementoss in the field. The instructions were clear enough, announce your confrontation to the ‘villain’ and you get graded off that. Things got fucky when it got to my turn.

“Okay Miss Palma, I know its not in your line of work but” Cementoss gestured to his makeshift villain dummy “what do you say when you see the villain?”

I took a dramatic pose and said “Eat my ass, pew!” finger gun and everything. The mix of gasps and laugher boosted my cockiness a bit, even Aizawa was laughing.

“MISS PALMA! We don’t use that language when confronting villains!” Cementoss scolded me.

“Why not? It stuns the villain and the villain can go and eat my ass!” I pouted “I wanted to sit this one out! Should’ve listened to me.”

“It’s true!” Aizawa was coming down from his laughing fit “don’t forget that she’s an agent, technically she’s not supposed to say anything when she comes across a villain.”

“Okay, so what do you do when you see the villain?” Cementoss asks me directly.

I take off my shoes “pretend these are guns” and I make gun noises and pretend to be contacting the sniper team on my earpiece. I took it too far by adding my own dramatics “OH NO! He’s got a gun! I gotta take the hostages to safety!” I gather everyone with my telekinesis and pretended to do the timer gun trick “vaya con Dios PUTO!” I sling the shoe and it hit the dummy on the neck. I mimic the noises and run around a bit “villain has been decommissioned, hostages are secured, my job is done here, requesting retrieving squad.”

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO JUST SHOOT?!” cried out Sato.

“Um yea” I said as I set them down “that’s why we get guns but since I’m a raid and combat agent, I get other cool things like tranquilizers and tasers.”

“To be fair” Aizawa turned to Cementoss “she did her part as an agent, full points for her.”

We did the rest of the exercise and headed in a little early. I was the last one back to the class because I got a vocal warning from Cementoss about my language.

“Hey Palma-san!” Shinso stood in front of my desk as I got my bag.

“Oh hi Shinso” I waved as I slung my bag on my back.

“Are you walking today?” he asked a bit awkwardly “I was hoping maybe we could walk to the dorms together.”

“Sure, but I walk slow”

“Fine by me” he chuckled “more time to talk!” When we started walking, he soon saw what I meant by I walk slow. “You weren’t kidding!” he stood and waited for the 5th time in the last 100 yards “is that why he holds your hand?”

“Who? OH you mean Tenya!” I panted a bit as I trotted up to him “yea, but he can out walk anybody.”

“Hmm, you call him by his first name a lot”

“Yea we do that” we started walking again “I understand that calling somebody by their first name is a bit disrespectful but he asked for permission to call me by my preferred name.”

“Which is?”

“Ita, it’s short for Itati” I put some pep to my step “my parents call me by that name because I grew up very short and sweet, just like the name.”

“Mind if I call you that?”

“Sure, can I call you Hitoshi?”

“Sure.”

“Coolio!” I didn’t talk for a short pause “fair warning, I’m gonna shorten and baby-ify your name as endearment.”

“I welcome it” he laughed and looked at her “I see that you get special treatment from the others, must be nice.”

“Eh, it’s not” I stretch out my arms to crack them “I get scolded way more just for following my program’s rules in that class” flashbacks of getting scolded by Tenya replay in my head “it’s mostly Tenya that does the scolding” I mock his chops and voice “Ita! It’s against code to be flashing your chest as distraction! Ita! You can’t keep sneaking out like that on a school night!”

“Heh good one but I can do you one better” he clears his throat and squares his shoulders “Shinso-kun! We eat meals together as a class! Shinso-kun! Don’t do laundry at 3am, it disrupts our sleep! Curfew is 8pm!”

I start howling in laughter “Oh jeez that was spot on!” tears well up in my eyes because of how hard I was laughing “my tummy hurts HOO!”

Shinso looks at her laughing her head off and starts to see what Tenya means. She’s genuine and like an open book, her laugh is tugging at his heartstrings. ‘Maybe Iida is just a coward’ Shinso thinks to himself ‘or maybe she doesn’t like him after all, hmmm, she’ll be mine in no time.’

“We should spend an evening together sometime” he spoke up.

“That sounds nice” I said, picking up on his hint “I’d love that.”

He picks up on her interest “Cool, I thought you might” he chuckles a bit “to be honest, living in the dorms kinda sucks and I need to spend time with someone that doesn’t ask me dumb questions about my habits and quirk.”

“Oof that sounds familiar” I rolled my eyes but looked up at him “but just send me a text and I’d be down with whatever, I know all the cool spots.”

We walk up to the dorms and part ways to our rooms. I get excited that somebody is finally being more forward with their interest in me. For the first time in a long time, it feels like the right person came along. He doesn’t want to change me nor smothers me....you could say that I’m falling for him but we’ll see how that plays out.

-End Chapter 27-

#bnha #mha #self insert au #chapter 27 #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything #oof sorry for the delayed chapter yall #school started for me and my plate is full #but Im still gonna continue this AU #expect the next chapter in mid October

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iamsoneurotic · 6 years ago

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Enter, Levi: The Final Chapter Part II

8 Months later is better than never I guess.

I had intended to write a second post about Levi’s birth (as I did with both Milo and Noli), but as it turns out, free time isn’t really a thing when you have 3 kids. Go figure. Anyway, where did I leave off… The boy was born.

The C-section left Rachael bedridden for the duration of our stay at the hospital, which is pretty typical. From what I’ve been told, it’s not so bad - the doctors load you up with pain meds and you’re out the door in a couple of days, ready to take on the world with a baby in one hand and a bottle full of pills in the other. Well, due to an allergy to Ibuprofen, Rach was denied the good drugs and had to settle for a less effective Tylenol substitute which may have been less effective than somebody flicking her in the ear to distract her from the pain in her healing wound. To make matters even worse, she was fighting a horrible cough and every hack of the lung made her feel like she was being gutted like a fish.

As sort of an icing on the crap cake, her IV slipped out of her vein at some point during the first night and caused her arm to swell and rash. Her stay was divine to say the least.

Speaking of crap cakes, guess who was on diaper duty by default! Well that’s nothing new, I’m usually on diaper duty just because my lovely wife secretly loathes me (we have a dog now, by the way. Guess who gets the honor of cleaning up his little backyard nuggets). This particular series of diaper changes, however, stands out more than the others because Levi pooped a mountain’s worth over the next few weeks. Not exaggerating. He went through every phase on the newborn poo color wheel in a matter of hours. Something was clearly afoot, I’ve been around this whole breastfeeding business for a while now and I know for a fact he was exporting more than he was taking in. Pretty sure milk doesn’t have corn in it either.

There’s a video of his first changing… I can’t even post it. It’s just that awful. I don’t even know why we would have filmed something like that in the first place.

One last poo item to discuss - there was one nurse who was a complete POS. Her shift consisted of coldly telling Rachael to suck it up and walk so they could discharge us and berating her about everything she did ranging from how she breastfed Levi to, I don’t know, the way she wore her hair that day. She was a real piece of work. Not sure if there’s a polite way to wish Ebola on somebody, but I’m all ears.

There was a bright side to Rachael being confined to her bed, it meant I got more time to hold Levi. Given the stress of his birth, I had no desire to ever put him down - thank goodness he only weighed a little over 6lbs, our lightest one yet!

I noticed while holding him that he bore a striking resemblance to Don Rickles.

Leading up to the birth, I had “joked” that I was looking forward to the time away from the kids while we stayed at the hospital. I was wrong, I missed my babies. Before we had left, Noli was really upset that we were leaving him - that image of him sitting on the steps broken hearted was burned into my brain the whole visit. Milo didn’t seem to care much, he gets away with more when daddy’s not home (Noli was yet to figure this out). So after 2 days of not showering, Rachael approved of my release so I could go home, see the boys, scrub the thin layer of Italian grease off of my flesh, and let her mom see the baby for a while.

It was a nice little visit. The boys and I wrestled, built Legos, and I showed them pictures of the baby. Noli was needier than usual and didn’t like that I had to leave again to go back to the hospital, luckily my mom stopped by to take the boys to her place so I could catch a break for a few… For the record, however, I didn’t take a break for fear that Rachael would sense my relaxation and unleash the hordes of hell upon me.

Advice for any new dads out there: NEVER enjoy yourself while your wife is in pain or holding a child. Don’t close your eyes, don’t smile, don’t sit comfortably in a chair, and if you absolutely HAVE to eat, make sure the food gives you indigestion… But not diarrhea, because woman have figured out that bathrooms are a man’s place of peace. There can be no peace.

…

I’m literally not kidding.

Long story short - she thought I was gone too long and as penance, I bought her Pei Wei and she reluctantly showed mercy.

I screwed a number of things up with this birth. First was posting Levi’s picture to Facebook before Rachael had even seen him, second was having the audacity to take a shower at our house, and the third thing happened after being discharged from the hospital. When we got home, I rushed the baby into the house so he wouldn’t get cold. Inside the house my parents were waiting with cameras to film the boys’ reaction to the new addition. Well, in my haste, I failed to wait for Rachael (who was hobbling up the sidewalk in excruciating c-section pain) - depriving her of the opportunity to see the boys’ reaction live. I’m currently serving a life sentence in the doghouse for my foolish ways.

All screw-ups aside, the evening went well. Noli, who we were most nervous about adjusting to a newborn, held the baby in his lap (with heavy amounts of assistance). It was a giant relief. Milo loved the kid at first sight, 8 months later he’s still in love with the little guy… I’m a proud dad. My parents went home, Rach attempted sleep, and late that evening I wrote “Enter, Levi: The Final Chapter Part I”. A masterpiece in biographical storytelling.

For the next few days Rachael was stuck sleeping on the couch until her incision healed more; getting out of bed was too painful. So we spent our evenings watching the Winter Olympics while Levi slept on our chests. In the mornings my mother-in-law would treat us to fresh grapefruit & oatmeal breakfasts and I would grab us Starbucks on the way back from dropping the boys off at school. It was a really nice couple of days… I even finally buckled down and got my Texas Driver’s License! Only took me 3 years to make the effort.

We nicknamed Levi “Popeye” because he would always wink his one eye and make scrunchy faces. In retrospect, I should have thought to tape a little pipe to his pacifier. Dangit! During this time, I discovered that the sound of a crying baby isn’t as horrific sounding as it had been in the past. Milo’s cries would send me into a panic, and Noli’s would just irritate me… I find Levi’s cries on the adorable end of the spectrum. It’s probably because this will be our last kid (assuming all goes according to plan). I’m taking in the infancy more, trying to make it last and enjoy every moment. Sure, I still get frustrated - that’s what babies do to you, but I’m enjoying the ride more… I know I’ll miss it. I still wish I could pull baby Milo out of the photos on my phone and hold him.

If I’m not writing a ton about Levi in this post, it’s because the kid was just so darn chill as a newborn. He didn’t give me much more material than “Awww, how cute”... And he was definitely cute (still is - all my babies are).

While both boys were great with Levi, Noli had gotten increasingly needy. I’m not going to lie, it was downright infuriating sometimes to deal with it. I took him out one day to give him some one on one time, the plan was to buy him a ‘gift from Levi’. I told him Levi gave me money to buy him a toy (kids are so gullible!)... I should have specified how much money Levi actually gave me because $60 later we had a brand new Lego Spiderman play set which took me an hour to build and only 10 seconds for Noli to destroy. 10 glorious seconds of him leaving me alone.

The nightmare was only beginning.

Rachael’s mom had stuck around for a few weeks to help out around the house while we got acclimated to all the changes. The hope was that anything that could have gone wrong would have gone wrong while she was here and we’d have the extra hands… But Murphy’s Law is real, kids. Thanks to the joys of school, Noli came down with the flu a day or two before my mother-in-law was leaving. Just the thing you want around a newborn! And there would be no extra hands. Before we even got home from the hospital, Rach began packing her bags to stay with my folks until our house was no longer contaminated with disgusting little boy germs (Milo was beginning to run a fever as well).

Rachael and Levi staying with my parents didn’t ease my worries, however. The boys are constantly sticking their grubby little fingers all over my face (why their fingers are always moist I’ll never understand). The fingers occasionally go in my mouth because kids are weird and have no boundaries. That mouth is incapable of not being on baby Levi’s face… Because those cheeks. All I could think was that I had given my newborn baby boy the flu and it was an awful feeling. I had shown no signs of having the flu, but it takes a few days before symptoms even start, so everything was up in the air… Just like the flu running rampant in my house. It was a waiting game and I hate waiting.

So it was me, the boys and my mother-in-law, and I only had her help for about two days before she had to go back home. Thank God for moms is all I have to say. She made sure we all took everything we needed, when we needed to take it, and I’m pretty sure she kept me flu-free, because (spoiler) I never caught it and luckily neither did Rach or Levi.

Those few days, however, were difficult for an entirely non-flu-related reason… Needy Noli. By this point he had already been driving me nuts with the constant need for attention, but the flu just made it worse. Today I was looking through the texts Rachael and I were sending each other and every other message was me going out of my mind while Noli stalked me around the house. It was like one of those dreams where you’re being chased by some unknown entity and it always finds you no matter where you hide. You’d think the flu would have destroyed his sense of smell, but somehow it was heightened. There was no escape.

All he wanted was to play legos… Legos which by now were CRAWLING with flu germs. Every click those blocks made when I connected them was like the empty click of a revolver in a deadly game of Russian Roulette. Sitting in that pool of Legos (we have a LOT of Legos) was like swimming in a pool of flu-juice. I swear some of them were wet.

Then my mother-in-law flew home… and it was just me and the flu-zombies.

Thank goodness for my Dad. He took one for the team and later that evening risked his good health to save me from the inevitable misery that awaited me with those kids. The man is fearless. My memory of that week is a little hazy, but I’m 80% sure he arrived via horse. When he got to the house, he told me to get out and enjoy myself for a few while he spent time with the little petri dishes. Even Noli let me leave the house! So I grabbed my iPad and booked it to Starbucks where I spent the next 2 hours sipping Lattes, drawing, and watching videos of Levi that Rach would send me.

The week was no doubt hard - dodging sneezes, dealing with neediness and the usual parenting frustrations… But the hardest part was being away from Levi. I spent 9 months waiting for the little stinker and barely got to know him before he left me for a week. There was a constant stream of videos and photos coming from Rach, but it only made it harder. There was one evening when Rach stopped by with some food and I snuck out to see her. She had Levi in the van and I had to just stare at him from the window (as I was still unsure if I was sick or not). It was torture.

Rach on the other hand was living the good life at Hotel De’Marianelli with my mom. Pampering, baby assistance, hot meals… and a Boxer who quickly became a therapy dog. When Rach arrived at the house that first night, she was a nervous wreck. She started crying when she came in the door and Roxy (the Boxer) ran up to her, put her head on Rachael’s chest and just stared at her. She’d lick the baby’s feet constantly and anytime Levi woke up from a nap crying, Roxy would book it into the room to check on him.

Dogs are the best. Not to speak ill of the dead, but our cat would have just pee’d on the crib.

Fast forwarding ahead, the boys started feeling better, I never got sick, and seeing as my dad’s work was finished, he went back home… I seem to remember him riding off on a chariot of fire. The details are hazy.

One last thing remained… The disinfecting of the Legos.

20% of them ended up down the drain. I hope they never return.

Finally my baby came home. I refused to let him go that night… Or the next night. If I could lactate, Rach would have never gotten him back.

I make good babies. ~ M.

#parenting #parenthood #dad #daddy #daddyblog #newborn #humor #baby #fatherhood #kids

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1089

survey by --rainboweyes--

Lasts - Who

Who was the last person you hugged? Andi, but it’s been a week. It’ll probably be another few weeks or months before I receive a hug again since it’s hard to get together with friends these days.

Who was the last person you kissed? Gabie.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? Ooh, I hate crying in front of people. I mean I recently cried to both Angela and Andi through voice memos on Messenger...but the last person I cried in front of? It’s most likely ^ still. For the longest time she was the only person I had been willing to cry and look ugly in front of.

Who was the last person who cried in front of you? My demon child of a cousin; the spoiled one that I’ve been talking about on some of my recent surveys. He didn’t really cry in front of me, i.e. to me, but he was whining and crying in my presence so I’m counting it.

Who was the last person who made you laugh? I was watching Friends until a few minutes ago and the scenes where the girls were working together to hide Rachel’s pregnancy from the guys will always be funny. But in real life, the last person was one of my aunts because she posted a comment on Facebook that made me laugh.

Who was the last person who made you angry? Nina. She occasionally exhbits an annoying habit of persistently asking for money, so when she did it a couple nights ago when she knew I barely had any left for the week, I got a little irritated.

Who was the last person you hung out with? In real life, Andi. We went to UPTC last Friday and had Korean barbecue for dinner, then we had a quick grocery run so they can buy their soju, then we drove to UP and parked in some isolated spot so we can talk and do some catching up in the car. In general, I had a really long virtual catching-up/drinking session through video call with my college best friends last Saturday.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Andi. A friend of mine advised me that one of his friends seems to be interested in me, and I got super anxious and overwhelmed because that was when it hit me that I was really single and that things like that can happen now. Anyway, I freaked out and started crying and talked to Andi about it and they reassured me with a lot of great advice.

Who was the last person you went out for a meal with? LOL still Andi. My college group is supposed to go out for ramen soon since we’ve all been craving - plus we all want to see each other - but idk when that’s going to happen.

Who was the last person who lied to you? JM kind of pissed me off last weekend during our Zoom call because when we asked him if he has since joined a frat in law school, he said no. The thing is, he has and has been in one for a while, and I knew about it because Andi told me literally the night before.

To be fair to him, I get why he lied given the messy situation and reputation of frats here and because I get the importance (and maybe even the necessity) of joining a frat in law school; but he still lied to our faces and that was just unsettling to bear.

Who was the last person you lied to? Idk I don’t really like to lie.

Who was the last person you swore at? Probably my sister. I swore around her though, not at her.

What.

What was the last film you saw? The last one I attempted to watch (but didn’t finish) was That Thing Called Tadhana. The last one I was able to watch in full was I’m Thinking of Ending Things all the way back in September.

What was the last book you read? I’m not so sure; I don’t really read anymore.

What was the last show you watched? Friends.

What was the last conversation you had about? Nina received a parcel around 15 minutes ago and it was some kind of shirt, so I asked her what shirt it was and what’s it for; and I learned that it’s a Voltes V shirt and it’s her gift for dad for his 50th birthday next week.

What was the last joke you heard about? I saw a Facebook post earlier asking people to come up with their best Filipino translations of Paramore song titles, and I saw some pretty great entries from my friends hahaha. I’d share some on here but no one would understand them anyway.

What was the last argument you had about? My mom was such a pain in my ass earlier. So I shared a post on Facebook saying how ‘rendezvous’ was my Achilles heel in one spelling bee in 7th grade. And she saw the post and I saw her scrunch up her nose as she does when she think someone is being stupid, and she got all condescending and was like, “‘Rendezvous’ is so easy, how could you get that wrong in Grade 7?” then when I tried to rebut, she called me sensitive. The mental gymnastics of that woman...

What was the last thing you ate? I haven’t treated myself in a while so I had spicy tuna salad and tempura maki delivered just a bit earlier. My mom and I have since finished the salad, but I’m keeping the maki as an evening snack for myself.

What was the last thing you drank? Water to cool my mouth since the spicy tuna salad was...spicy, lol.

What was the last thing you cried over? The failure of my relationship. I’m doing a lot better now, but the grief is as strong as it had been in day one whenever it does hit.

What was the last song you heard? A lo-fi track. I never keep track of the titles or the artists, though.

What was the last concert you went to? Paramore. It’ll be three years this year :(

What was the last word you spoke out loud? The song-related question earlier got me in the mood to listen to Olivia Rodrigo’s drivers license, so the last word I ‘said’ out loud was a lyric from the song.

What was the last text message you received? It was the cake shop from yesterday thanking me after our interaction ended.

What was the last commercial/ad you saw selling? For some reason my Facebook loves to show me ads from foreign universities that offer MA degrees in business, economics, and law lmao. I’ve never taken an interest to nor looked up possible Master’s courses, so I have no clue how the algorithm started.

What was the last injury you got? A scratch from Cooper.

When.

When was the last time you ate? My last bite was maybe a half hour ago when I got the last piece of tuna from my spicy tuna salad.

When was the last time you drank? ^ I washed said tuna down with water.

When was the last time you cooked a meal? It’s been months. I don’t cook.

When was the last time you cried? Friday morning before work.

When was the last time you laughed? This afternoon when I was playing with Cooper up on the rooftop and he was being silly.

When was the last time you had a kiss? Early September.

When was the last time you swore at someone? Maybe sometime earlier today?? I swear around Nina often but never keep track of it, though I’m sure I’ve definitely done it at least once today.

When was the last time you went for a walk? Around a week or so ago.

When was the last time you argued with someone? A few hours ago with that stupid rendezvous argument with my mom.

When was the last time you were shocked? This morning when I saw the cryptic teaser of new material from Hayley. Either way, it’s still definitely too soon for a new song or an entire fucking album so I’m excited to see what Flowers for Vases will actually be.

When was the last time you lied? I honestly can’t tell you lol. I hate lying.

When was the last time you had a takeaway? I don’t really go out, so...but the last thing I had delivered to my home was the spicy tuna salad and tempura maki I got today.

When did you last buy someone a gift? Around two weeks ago when I got a cute skirt and dress for Andi.

Why.

Why did you last lose your temper? Because I hated how unnecessarily condescending my mom got over the word ‘rendezvous.’ Like wtf? I was better in spelling than anyone else in my class and you flip out because I failed to spell that one word 9 years ago???? It was so fucking annoying and I hate that I’m still riled up about it until now lmao. Anyway, welcome to Asian mom culture!!

Why did you last burst into tears? Again, I still get sad when my mind ends up lingering on my failed relationship.

Why did you last feel content? Because my Friday shift was over and my weekend could finally start.

Why did you last tell someone a secret? When JM left the Zoom call once he got sleepy, I told the rest of the girls who were left in the call that he had lied and that he is in fact a part of a frat now. I felt it was the fair thing to do, and I think they appreciated it anyway.

Some Xtras.

Why do you like your favourite band? Aside from the obvious “I love everything they put out,” they’ve consistently kept me company, taught me life lessons, and made me want to keep on keeping on. I’ve been quite literally able to grow up and evolve alongside them. There’s no other artist or band that’s been able to do all that for me.

What was the last survey you took about? It was a scattergories-slash-alphabet themed survey. It was fun.

Who was the last person to call you? A client who for some reason prefers to call me every single time he needs something, no matter how simple, instead of just messaging me on WhatsApp.

When was the last time you felt truly loved? Last Saturday in my Zoom call with friends. We aren’t super affectionate with one another, but it just felt so nice to be with a group of friends again. It’s nice to feel that I belong somewhere.

What will you do next? Work even though it’s the weekend, since I’m in the mood to do some anyway.

#survey #surveys

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traizhill · 4 years ago

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Farthest from Home

It was on a Saturday morning when Roger was doing some overtime work in his private study when Stella opened the door to the room and served him his brunch. Roger was already up by four O’clock, having retired early last night in order to be fresh in doing work in the morning. Roger favors the silence of the early mornings than the chills of the late evenings in accomplishing tasks required by his work. Because of this preference of time, as well as being a workaholic, he is about to be surprised by the next series of events.

“Roger, I’m leaving.”, Stella declared.

“What do you mean, love? It’s still morning.”, replied Roger unturned and continuing his work for the day.

“No. I mean… I need to stay with my parents.”, muttered Stella.

“What for? Do they need your help again? Why can’t they get your sister?”

“No, Rog. I need to get away from you.”

“Why?”, said Roger, still continuing with his work.

Stella hesitated for half a minute before finding her courage, “Because you’re not here for me anymore.”

“What do you mean? You’re serving me brunch right now. That means I’m literally here.”, asked Roger, still oblivious to the fact that a hard discussion about their marriage had already started. Still in the midst of completing his occupational tasks for the day.

A tear then started to trickle down Stella’s right cheek. She tried composing herself, and then she finally answered, “I’m just not happy anymore.”

“Excuse me?”

Stella remained silent.

“What do you mean you’re not happy?”, as he stares at her for the first time since climbing out of bed this morning.

Still no response.

“Well? Can you give me answer?”

“Say something!”

“God damn it!”, he cries. Finally exasperated.

And then she spoke.

“I understand that you’re doing all of this to give me everything that I have ever wanted. But what if all I ever wanted was you?”

“But I am here! I’m already yours! We’re married, remember!”, his quickly reply.

“Yes, we are married. But you haven’t been present for years.”

“Now you’re just being irrational. All of this is because of you. I’m doing all of this, because of you.”

“But you don’t see me anymore. I’m just an idea to you, and you’re all wrapped up in the things you’re doing for that idea.”

“I no longer exist to you. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.”, Stella added.

And Roger was left speechless for the first time in the conversation.

Stella then proceed to give her argument, “Remember when we got together, how everything felt perfect? How it felt as if we were drawn together by fate, and that everything that was happening around us was happening because we were being drawn to each other, closer and closer, each and every day? Do you even get those feelings anymore, or are you too busy preparing for the day that I might actually leave you?”

“Because today is that day.”, said Stella, no longer stuttering.

“You don’t actually mean to go through with this, do you?”, Roger asked, finally conceding to the thought that he may actually lose her today.

“Because we can still salvage this. I can still make changes if that is what’s needed. Please tell me this isn’t a done deal already.”

“Please!”, He requested.

“Stella.” He called as he approached her.

Sobbing, he reached for her hand one last time and kissed it.

“Please?”

* * *

Roger never imagined being back inside the house again. Feelings of nostalgia were now creeping up inside of him, even if at the back of his mind he’d already decided he had moved on. Yet in a strange turn of events he is back to where it all happened. They had a big fight on that fateful day, but all he ever remembered was turning on the ignition of his car, and just driving off without a proper destination while listening to the radio after that encounter.

Roger taking long drives without actually going somewhere is not new to him. This was his method of escape. Taking these drives would help clear his mind off of the things that would stress him out. In as long as he could remember, the moment he got his driver’s license he took his first long drive around the city not to celebrate, but to change his coping mechanism. Before, he would always spend his time clearing his head by smoking cigarettes at the park. He started at eleven years old. He did this not because he was friendless, but because he’d prefer to be with his thoughts rather than discuss them with other people.

During one of these driving sessions, he would meet Stella. They would literally cross paths in their first meeting, as she would end up almost being hit by his car. At the time, he was contemplating his career plans. Trying to change course after finding out for himself that he was ill-suited for his current job. Suffice it to say, his mind wasn’t fully focused on the road. She on the other hand, was enjoying her life, perhaps too much, as she obliviously tried to cross the street without checking both sides before moving. Both would take that encounter as a sign that they were fated to meet. They would end up exchanging phone numbers, not for information but rather for keeping in touch.

They would end up getting to know each other in a month. In two they would enter a relationship, and in eight they would get married. Love for them came in like a hurricane, and each and every one of their friends and families had the wrong storm warning. Some even had their reservations, because they could not make out the other’s partner on who they really are up until their wedding. They felt that it was rushed, and they let their feelings decide instead of along with their heads. None of their opinions, given or not, would matter to the couple anyway.

And why would it. They we’re happy. For the first time for Roger, it didn’t matter to him that he needed to do the right things all the time. Stella on the other hand, was a happy person in general. Her personality easily flowed through him, generating enough happiness for the both of them. And Roger was smart enough to not waste it. He was now at his peak form, and he was wholly afraid to let go of it. And for this, he was absolutely sure he had found the one.

“The house is being sold by a happy couple who just moved into their new home almost by the river.”, said the young realtor.

“It’s fully furnished and all the amenities are still intact, so the price would be a little steep for you if you’re going be living here alone.”

“You’re going to be living here alone, aren’t you?”

“No. Actually I’m still just checking out the place. Would that be all right for you?”, Roger replied.

“Sure man, but would you mind not touching anything or putting them out of place? I just got this job, so could you do me a solid?”

“Ok.”

“And please lock the main and back doors when you finish, will you?”

Roger replied with a gesture of a thumbs up as the realtor left. The house was a two-story flat Stella had lived in before meeting Roger. How she came upon this property, was a bit murky to him in the details. She mentioned most of the time that the she inherited the place from a favorite aunt. That she died childless from a short but happy marriage, and Stella surprisingly got it in her will. Her husband passed on early in his thirties because of an inoperable brain tumor, and she had been close to Stella’s family ever since.

As Roger looked around the living room of the house he once lived, he stopped near the fireplace where he and Stella used to lounge around late at night during the weekends when they were not yet sleepy after watching tv. This was the area he wished he had hung out more with Stella. He realized that had he not been as busy with his work, he would have seen better days in their relationship. His favorite memory that he still reminisces about most days was that one time in the winter season, when they sat near the fire and just drank hot cocoa without even talking. Just mutually admiring each other for being there in that moment. Both of them draped in a single thick blanket protecting them from the cold, enjoying each other’s company nonverbally. He didn’t even think of the need to talk. Her presence at that point in time was enough for him to determine that he had found a home for the rest of his life. Then without reason she rested her head on his right shoulder. And that made the moment even more bittersweet to remember.

He then decided to head up the stairs by the hallway exiting the living room. As he took his steps, he is reminded of their return from their honeymoon trip in Guam. It felt just like yesterday when upon entering the house, they dropped all their bags, carried her up into the master bedroom upstairs and gently laid her onto the bed and tried to continue their honeymoon from there. Lights still out with only the moonlight illuminating the room, he was on the verge of weeping when he stared at her gentle elegance formed by her silhouette. He could not believe he was at the presence of a goddess. That he was not worthy of her. But this also made him get his resolve, and that he promised himself then and there that he would earn her for the rest of his life. In the present though, as he walked past that same bedroom, he had already lost her.

Opposite the bedroom was the bathroom. And although not much of it was of significance to the both of them, a collection of memories flashed back at him. They were in the early parts of their marriage, wherein both were having the time of their lives spending rewarding evening baths in the tub. When both of them came home from work, with Stella arriving earlier thus having the time to set up the bath, and after finishing their preferred takeout dinner for the evening they would then take a bath together. Cleansing each other of the worries of the world. Retiring to each other’s bodies, relieving them of the wear and tear brought upon their everyday lives away from each other. He would even fall asleep sometimes, specially when he plays the role of the little spoon.

Stella and Roger wished to have kids someday. Both wanted three children: depending on who came first, a boy, a girl, and the last a surprise wherein they would not bother knowing the gender before its birth. The room next to the bathroom was supposed to be the children’s bedroom until their individual puberty. Stella was the more eager partner between the two to get started. She had already decided on the interior of bedroom, but never got to it because of Roger’s work. As mentioned before, he was in another type of preparation one of which he inadvertently made inevitable. He then remembered that he had not been in the room since he first got to the house. It must have really been an indication of his fate with Stella, because at this aspect of their marriage he didn’t really care for since the beginning.

The room next to the children’s bedroom was the study. He remembers this room bitterly. In fact, he was now feeling a stinging sensation at the back of his neck when he finally entered the room. The room now symbolizes his neglect of Stella. It used to be his temple for earning her, but he didn’t know that he already had her. For all his worries of his losing of Stella, he was laying the foundations for it to happen at this very room. And for it to actually happen in this very room, was the icing on the bittersweet cake he had been baking all that time. He remembered every word of the final conversation he had with Stella, while their actions replayed in his head. Until that final act of persuading her to remain together, wherein as Stella headed for the door, he rushed to block her from going out and hugged her tight and refused to let her go. How in feeling that his hug was convincing her to stay, and stopped her from wriggling away from his hug, he let go of the pressure and he was immediately pushed towards the door of the room adjacent to the study. He fell backwards and hit his head on the way down. He didn’t feel any pain at that moment. He was in fact in a void then, as he saw with his own eyes how she stared at him for the final time. He then stood up, and went straight to the kitchen to get his car keys, and exited the house to take a drive to nowhere once again after so many years of not doing so. In the present, he will do it again after the memory was fully revisited.

* * *

“Lady, it’s way past visiting hours now. I’m afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.”, as an orderly asked a visitor in the Intensive Care Unit to head home for the night.

She remained silent, barely noticing him.

“Hey lady.”, prompted by the orderly, this time waving at her to indicate he was talking to her.

Just then, a night shift attending physician pulls the orderly back out of the room. “It’s ok Clark, that’s her husband.”, she explains.

“I didn’t know Roger was married.”, he responds.

“Is married. Yeah, well she comes here now and again to check up on him. Usually at nights too. I was surprised as you were when I found out. Since then I’ve seen her twice in four months.”

“Does she pay for his stay here too? I mean, it has been that long. It’s almost a year now.”

“You know we’re not allowed to disclose that. But between you and me, they say Roger’s a made man. It’s a shame though, that he couldn’t spend all that money with her, and that they’re both stuck here instead.”

#romantic #drama #short story #writing challenge

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arplis · 5 years ago

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Arplis - News: 12 True Sex Stories You Have to Read to Believe

“WHEN HARRY MET SALLY” - COLUMBIA PICTURES You’re out to brunch with your girlfriends, how long does it take for the conversation to turn to sex? Not long, amiright? It’s not just the ladies on “Sex and The City” who love to talk about sex—it’s most of us. We talk about it with our friends, our partners, and depending on how self-conscious you may feel, complete strangers. We talk about our true sex stories wether it be the amazing sex we’ve had, the comical, the sometimes strange and unusual, and even the not-so-great sex. For many of us, we learned more about sex from our friends than we did from our parents or sex education class. It’s fun to share our sex stories—if it wasn’t, there wouldn’t be live storytelling shows, podcasts, books, TV shows, or movies. Fantasy has its place, but the stories that resonate the most with us are the true stories, those that actually happened. I AM & CO put the word out that we were looking for true sex stories and we received a very diverse response; stories from various sexual preferences, practices, and levels of sexual experience. All of these true sex stories are ones you have to read to believe. 12 True Sex Stories Guaranteed to Raise Eyebrows “Not Friends, No Benefit” Comedian Shalewa Sharpe, creator of "So You Just Out Here?" I ran into my one-night-stand guy at the club. Now, some people might call that a “friend with benefits” but that term suggests that the two parties are friendly enough to schedule a benefit. This guy and I were not friends. Our benefits only happened if we ran into each other at the club. So, we made out for a minute, then he suggested we take this party to my car. This was how I ended up parked behind a grocery store, attempting to have sex with this guy in my 1988 Honda Prelude—a sports coupe, with bucket seats. Have you had sex in bucket seats? If so, a follow-up question: are you double jointed? The guy and I struggled for a bit, then his face fell. “Oh, this sucks,” he moaned. “It’s because my dick’s too small.” I had to console this guy while also keeping an eye out for the cops. If you find yourself in this predicament, don’t end up saying what I said: “Hey man, we’re in bucket seats—this ain’t gonna be easy.” A real mood-killer. We threw in the towel, I dropped him off back at the club and went home. Later that night, my roommate, who was the club’s doorperson, mentioned that she saw the guy with a weeping woman at the end of the night—they were walking in circles around the parking lot, then they hopped on his motorcycle and split. The next day, as I was furiously scrubbing and vacuuming my car, I found a driver’s license for a young woman wedged between the front passenger seat and the middle console. I guess it fell out of one-night-stand guy’s pocket during the, uh, festivities. I scratched out the ID’s info, punched a hole in it, and hung it on my rearview mirror as a cautionary tale. “It’s Part Of It” Jason, Columbus, Ohio We were both in college and had been dating for a while when she decided to take it to the next level. “Tie me up,” she demanded. “Okay, um, I’m going to tie you up now,” I said and went to get some scarves that were conveniently strewn about and set to work. “No!” “Oh, my God! I’m so sorry! I thought that…” and I began to loosen the bonds. “No, it’s part of what makes it so hot.” “Oh, right,” I said and went back to doing Boy Scout knots such as the square knot and the sheepshank. I wondered if I should go with the trucker’s hitch? Nah. Too much. “I’m going to f*ck you now,” I said getting into it. “Let me go!” I immediately stop what I’m doing. “Oh my God, I am an idiot. I am so sorry. I didn’t understand. You see, when you said you wanted, what I thought was, but in reality, I see… Oh no, I’m so sorry.” I quickly start to untie all the knots. “No, it’s part of it.” “What Goes Around, Comes Around” Ashley, Raleigh, North Carolina I paid my boyfriend for sex the first summer we were together…11 years later, he’s paying me for sex. “The Hook-Up Room” Comedian Anita Flores, host of I'm Listening: A Frasier Podcast with Anita Flores. I’m at my first high- school party, and it’s not going well. Between my social anxiety and the fact that I only know the host, all I can think about is how I’m going to escape. I can’t actually leave, or else I’ll seem “uncool.” Fortunately, I come up with the next best solution. After making some light small talk with the host (Cassie) about her impressive selection of snacks, I ask, “Is there anywhere I can take a nap?” At the time, this seemed like a normal way to still be at the party without having to speak to anyone. I can’t say that Cassie agreed. After a long pause, she replied, “Uh, I guess in my attic.” I gleefully head to the attic. All the lights are off and it’s strangely warm, but it beats talking to people. I feel around and discover a futon I can pretend to sleep on. There I am lying down when something round and muscular attacks my face. It’s a butt, and it's smothering me! Ever want to suffocate someone, but don’t have a pillow? Just wear thick, non-breathable polyester pants. I hear a low voice. It’s a boy butt. He hears my muffled cries, gets up and exclaims, “Whoa, sorry dude!” Now there’s giggling. He’s with a girl. Suddenly, I hear what sounds like a lot of teens slurping soup. There are more people in this room than I realized. Cassie sent me to take a nap in “the hook-up room!” Picture “Eyes Wide Shut: The Early Years.” Before the masks, there were braces. By this time, the boy butt and his lady friend have taken the futon from me. I'm standing there feeling left out because no one has asked me to join in. I can’t run away, otherwise, everyone will think I’m a prude! So, I find an empty loveseat, plop down, and close my eyes. Because there’s nothing cooler than ignoring sex. I’ll make sure to tell my future teen daughter that, too. “There Are Rules” Michael, Portland, Oregon I was sessioning with a dominatrix named Vixen when her friend Wendy came over. Vixen blindfolded me and put me in the corner, which I was more than okay with. The minute Vixen’s back was turned, I took off the blindfold, even though I knew (and hoped,) I’d be punished. Vixen took out a strap on from her toy-cupboard and proceeded to f*ck Wendy with it. It was quite a show and later, I was punished severely for watching—it was well worth the tribute that I paid Vixen. “Don’t Stop Under Any Circumstances!” Carrie, Chicago, Illinois My boyfriend and I were having sex one night on my old as hell bed. He was an ex-professional football player and I’m a big girl, so it shouldn’t have been surprising that right when things were getting super intense, the bed broke. He stopped what he was doing, so I yelled, “Don’t stop! I’m so close!” Without moving from the now broken bed, we get back at it and this time we don’t stop until we both cum. If there had been an earthquake or a tornado, I would have made him keep going then, too. “Side Effects Can Be Embarrassing” Krysta, Orlando, Florida I've never been really big into taking birth control, but a coworker of mine mentioned that she was on a pill where she only had a period every three months... I wanted in on that! So, I went to my doctor and got on birth control. I started dating this new guy, who was literally the sexiest human-created. Around him, I tried to be Miss Perfection. Meanwhile, I'm on these new birth control pills and the doctor forgot to mention that they had lactose in them. I'm extremely lactose intolerant, even the smallest bit gives me major gas. The first time the perfect guy and I had sex was a disaster. Every thrust he made inside of me made me pass gas. It was so embarrassing. We literally had to stop and go to Walgreens to get me some type of gas pills because he and I both couldn't take the noise, let alone the smell. Let's just say, I stopped taking those pills immediately. “Sex On The Deserted Beach” Beverly, New York City My partner and I were having a romantic vacation for my birthday in Newport, Rhode Island, and decided to spice things up by making love on a (deserted) beach in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, this beach was not quite as deserted or private as we had initially anticipated. All of a sudden we saw flashes of bright light, immediately stopped, and became alarmed. A police officer arrived, trying to hold back a grin, and asked us if we'd seen some "kids swimming" after hours. We said no, he left, and we quickly packed up our things to make a quick exit. We drove home laughing not quite knowing what to make of the experience, but it certainly was a bonding one. It's definitely an evening and birthday I won't soon forget. “Don’t Disturb Grandpa” Spencer, Phoenix I hooked-up once with this guy who was taking care of his grandpa. It was around 10:00 p.m. by the time I got to his house. Whispering, he asked me to follow him and to not make any noise, his grandpa was watching TV in the living room. The guy sneaked me into a bedroom, but I guess that wasn’t soundproof enough, so we went into the closet and had very cramped and uncomfortable sex in there. I don’t think his grandpa had any idea about what was going on. “Male High Club” Reynaldo, San Diego, California I was taking a night flight home from Hawaii, as I was sitting down, I turned to see a guy who was so handsome I was stunned. Like a lot of us, he wore shorts and Aloha shirts, but he was well-built and looked more like he’d be a lead on one of those Hawaii detective shows. There was an empty seat near me on the aisle, and the guy asked if he could sit there to stretch out his legs. Other than nodding yes, we didn’t talk. The man grazed my knee with his leg, and all the hairs on my leg stood on end. And he didn’t pull away right away, just gradually. He got up to get a blanket from the overhead compartment which he placed over his legs. With no talking at all, he made the slightest gesture to offer me some of the blanket. Before you know it, the blanket was spread over both our legs. Then, our hands somehow started to find each other. And for a long time on the flight, that was it…just our hands grasping together, coming loose, rejoining, stroking fingers. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I was rock hard. And gradually, very gradually, all without talking and with this stud of a guy who I did not know at all, our hands gradually started to stroke each other’s thighs, mirroring each other. And eventually, very discreetly to not get attention or show movement above the blanket, we each found our erections extending out through the bottom of our shorts, and we grabbed each other. Eventually, some napkins or handkerchiefs were brought below, and without making any sound, we both came, and it was pretty simultaneous. “Kung Fu Fighting” Carol Gee, Author, “Random Notes ( About Life. "Stuff"And Finally Learning To Exhale)” A romantic, I fantasized about what it would be like to have sex on satin sheets. My fantasy materialized when my husband and I, two young Air Force sergeants returning from living in the Far East, stopped to visit another Air Force friend and his lady in San Francisco. Invited to spend the night, the lady made the guest room bed up with a brand new pair of red satin sheets. How did she know my fantasy? I couldn’t wait to get my husband in bed to enjoy sex so good that the neighbors in the apartment next door would have needed a cigarette. I took a shower, smoothed on scented body lotion and got into bed. My husband was already in it waiting for me. On those satin sheets, our lovemaking suddenly morphed into Kung Fu fighting. Taking me into his arms I accidentally poked him in the ribs. Oof! Climbing on top of him I kneed in the thigh. Ouch! Attempting to kiss him I missed his mouth and ended up rubbing noses with him. Then his pillow slid off the bed, mine quickly followed. Instead of holding onto him, I held tightly to the bedsheets trying not to slide off, taking him with me. Not only was the whole thing a disaster, but we also got very little sleep that night for trying to stay in the middle of the bed. Frankly, I'm glad those sheets weren’t mine as they would most likely have ended up as pretty red curtains. “Girl/Girl Love Lesson” Sensual Massage Therapist, Jazmin Light The streets of Zurich were empty as I headed toward their place. The gentleman on the phone had asked me if I would "be" with his girlfriend—while he watched. He said she wanted a woman to show him "what women like." The World Cup soccer games were on, and that night, Switzerland was playing. The air bristled with excitement. All anyone talked about was "Fussball." Everyone's windows were wide open due to the summer heat. A classy-looking man in his mid-fifties opened the door to a modern loft apartment. Surprised, I wondered, “Shouldn't he know what women like by now?” Behind him, pouring champagne at the high-top table, stood Nadia, perhaps thirty years his junior. In her red La Perla lingerie and matching stilettos. She handed me a glass and kissed me on the mouth. We made a toast. I took a sip, then lifted Nadia's silky blonde hair and kissed her neck. I let my lips and teeth linger, then gave her a soft bite. She gasped. Suddenly, a roar of voices sailed in through our window and engulfed us. "YAAAAAY!!!” The cheering came from next door, from above us, below us, and from outside. “GOAL!” We laughed as the ruckus died down. I stroked Nadia's hair, neck, and torso. "There are endless ways to please a woman, Manfred," I said, twirling my fingers on her lacy bra cups. Manfred plopped down on the bed and stared at us, his mouth open. I unsnapped her bra, returning his gaze. "There's much more to women then nipples and—" I slid my hand to her panties, "pearls." Nadia inhaled sharply. "So slow down, savor, discover, and—play!" Nadia groaned, Manfred grinned. New shrieks and cheers exploded throughout the neighborhood. *** When you share a sex story, it can help you to connect with other people, learn about yourself and others, and it can inspire you to try new things. As humans, we’re always growing and that includes our sexuality. Sex is part of the human experience and it’s always fun to hear someone else’s stories of incredible sex, confusing sex, or way-out-there sex. #Sex #Relationships

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/12-true-sex-stories-you-have-to-read-to-believe

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