#Lisa Bicker

[dementedspeedster]

"This is really stupid." ( lisa probably)

Accepting || Domestic Bickering Sentences Vol. 2 @chooseyourfxghter

"You're really stupid." Thad reflexively says over his shoulder as he works on picking the lock as a timer counts down. He might have been a villain but there were less glamorous parts of his job. One of them being when he took jobs testing out security systems for other villains. They needed to meta proof their systems and were willing to shell out the dough to pay him, then who was he to say no?

"I told you that this wasn't going to be glamorous in the least, but nooooo you said you were bored and followed me anyway." He lets out a groan like a peeved older brother who had been forced to take his younger sister with him when he went out, and turns back to the lock.

[theother-victoria]

all stars must die one day

SYNOPSIS: it’s always been him- stupidly perfect and handsome Alhaitham who you saw as the bane of your academic achievements. Three years later and now so much has changed. He misses you. He misses your endless bickering and meaningless fights. Why did you change so much? It’s a mystery he makes up his mind to resolve.

CHARACTERS: Alhaitham, gossip circle consisting of Kaveh, Tighnari, and Lisa + the rest of the Sumeru cast

TAGS: heavy angst w/fluff, academic burnout, burnt-out gifted kid, mild profanity, gn reader, reader is briefly mentioned to be shorter than Alhaitham, toxic family dynamics, 15.7k+ word count

NOTES: college decisions and my experiences from the past two years really compelled me to write this. If you’re going through burnout, know that you’re not alone and that you can do this.

this took me almost half a year to finish wtf

NEXT | LAST

There’s a comet that crosses Sumeru’s skies only once in a lifetime. 

Alhaitham had heard some Rtawahsit students discussing it the other day. They were practically buzzing with excitement over the news of its reappearance.

“Isn’t this the perfect opportunity?”

“How lucky are we to be able to witness it?”

“Even our professors are excited about it!”

Alhaitham couldn’t care less. The phenomena of celestial events, while dazzling, are easily explained by science. It’s not like they were anything special either. At their heart, they’re composed of ordinary materials- rock, dust, water, and ice, plus other chemicals. 

He puts it out of his mind until he’s rudely awoken one night by loud noises outside the window. A flash of annoyance runs through him as he gets up and looks out to glare at the crowd of students passing through. A glance at their berets tells him they’re Rtawahsit students. They’re trying their best to be quiet, but when it’s practically an entire Darshan on the move, that becomes a difficult task. 

It seems as if he’s not the only one that was woken up. Other familiar faces are peeking through cracked-open windows. Lisa, Cyno, and Tighnari all yawn while watching the crowd of students pass by before looking at each other and following them. Kaveh, who has just woken up from his spot across the room, gives Alhaitham one last look before leaving.

Alhaitham closes the window and flops back onto his bed. He covers his ears with his pillow and closes his eyes, attempting to fall back asleep. He never cared for what other people thought or did, so why should he blindly follow the crowd? He wasn’t even curious anyway.

But for some strange reason, he can’t seem to fall asleep. He tosses and turns, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration, before finally getting up to put his restless mind at ease. 

It’s easy to figure out where everyone has gone. All he has to do is follow the sounds of chatter. It leads him to the top of the Divine Tree the city is built upon. There, Rtawahsit students are busy setting up their telescopes while others have pen and paper at their disposal for note-taking. Professors guide said students while those from other Darshans watch on in curiosity and gaze at the sky in anticipation. 

Tighnari and the others beckon him over. He squeezes himself into the secluded corner they claimed for themselves, poking Kaveh with his limbs intentionally in the process. To his surprise, you’re there too. You lean against Lisa’s arm and shoot him a little glare that lacks any real hate before turning back to the sky, glaring at him when he decides to sit in front of you and block your view. 

“Look!” shouts a student. “It’s started!”

Almost immediately, everybody goes silent. Only the sounds of birds and wildlife can be heard, along with the quiet breathing of everyone searching wildly for it.

(He’s acutely aware of the warm puffs of air that tickle the back of his neck when you exhale. It shouldn’t be this distracting, but it is. Is this your way of getting back at him?)

There’s an excited gasp from a girl with her telescope. She wildly gestures toward the sky and Alhaitham sees a bright speck of light out of the corner of his eye. Several smaller meteors zip through the sky, but everybody’s attention is on the largest one. It outshines all the other stars in the sky as it speeds by, heating up into a white-hot glow and leaving a glittering trail of blue stardust behind. It is a star not of this world, speeding onward toward its destination- toward something greater. 

“Look,” he hears Lisa whisper. He briefly tears his attention from the sky to see her lean toward you. “Make a wish.”

Alhaitham sees you close your eyes for a moment before opening them again. What did you just wish for?

It’s gone in just a few minutes, heading toward the horizon until not even a pinprick of its light can be seen anymore. The sky is now dark again. With the main event over, most people begin getting up to return to their rooms. His eyes linger on your form, now walking away. Lisa’s voice from earlier repeats in his head.

“Make a wish.”

It’s a childish belief not rooted in reason- he knows that. But for just a second, he closes his eyes and makes a wish. 

He met you at the start of his first year. 

It’s too loud here. I want to go home already.

From his seat in the back of the room, he watches as spots gradually fill up as the start time draws nearer. Much to his delight, everybody leaves his spot in the back of the classroom alone, instead opting to sit toward the front. 

That is until someone sits down in the row in front of him. He looks up from the pages of his book, slightly annoyed. Curses, now he couldn’t be by himself anymore. But they leave him alone and keep to themselves as the professor walks in and introduces himself and the class, so he tolerates it. 

There’s a light tap on his desk. He looks up to see you watching him expectantly. He’s able to get his first good look at you now. Your Akademiya uniform is a little too big on you and the sleeves drape over your hands. Your green hat sits lopsidedly on your head and you have the air of a starry-eyed and enthusiastic first-year student. 

“Yes?” 

“The professor told us to introduce ourselves to those around us,” you explain. “I’m (Name).”

“Alhaitham. Pleased to meet you.”

You nod in response and turn back around. Your professor is explaining the course and handing the syllabus out, but your mind wanders toward the guy sitting behind you whom you’ve just met. 

He’s cute, you think to yourself. In like, a little kid or puppy kind of way. He’s still a little short and scrawny- wait, how old is he anyway? Don’t tell me he’s one of those child prodigies that got in at a super young age… Or maybe he’s just a late bloomer, who knows? 

A few weeks later, the results of your first test roll around. The 98 scribbled and circled in red ink at the top of the paper makes you nod in satisfaction. It’s indicative of a good start, but when you take a look at the board in front of the class, you see someone has gotten a perfect score. 

And it turns out the culprit himself sits right behind you. 

You glare at the 100% in red ink at the top of his page as if it has personally offended you. As if to further insult you, there was a small “good job!” written in the margins by the professor that you didn’t have on your paper. 

“A 98? Good, but not perfect. Perhaps you should have studied more,” he nonchalantly remarks after seeing yours. Your eye twitches in irritation.

Oh, it is so on. 

From that day onward, you swore to yourself that you would beat Alhaitham, no matter what it took. Even if it meant sleepless nights spent hunched over your notes and textbooks, they were all a price you were willing to pay to prove that you were the undisputed best. 

Soon after, you don’t see Alhaitham in class anymore. His seat behind you is left unoccupied and you hear rumors that he opted for self-study instead- whatever that was. Despite that, he still gets top marks in everything, only serving to annoy you and spur you onward. 

However, you still see him at the library, and frequently at that. It’s somewhat surprising, considering that the Akasha Terminal has the same function and is more convenient. As a result, the library is mostly empty save for the few students that are there to study materials that aren’t entered into the Akasha’s database. You’re there because you prefer the quiet, focused environment of the library to your dorm, which despite the Akademiya and its students' almost religious devotion to academics, can get a little too rowdy for your liking at times. Plus, you prefer the feeling of a physical book in your hands over its digitized counterpart in the Akasha. It makes it easier to take notes and learn that way. 

Recently, you’ve found a spot in the library that you’ve taken a liking to. It’s located in the back and obscured by bookshelves, giving you some much-needed privacy while you study and it’s located by a window, allowing for ample natural light.

But apparently, someone else has already claimed it, unbeknownst to you. 

“This is my spot.”

You don’t even look up from your book. The voice alone was a dead giveaway as to who was speaking. 

“And? I didn’t see your name on it.”

Alhaitham sits at the seat across from you, purposefully spreading his books and other materials across the desk to push yours off to the side. A satisfied smirk twitches at the corners of his lips when he sees your eyes narrow in irritation. 

“Are you here just to bother me?”

“If I wanted to bother you, I’d find other ways to do it.” 

You huff in annoyance and turn the page. He watches you over the top of his book with intrigue as you alternate between reading and taking notes. 

“... Will you quit staring at me like that? It’s distracting.”

“Oh? So you’re admitting that I’m a distraction?”

“You-!”

A sharp hiss to be quiet from a librarian passing by silences you both temporarily. You glare at him accusingly, which he merely brushes off.

There’s a reluctant compromise that arises between you after that. Every day after class, you would meet at the same spot in the library to study. You would sit across from each other and work independently from each other until it was time to go, where you’d then say your goodbyes before heading your separate ways. Rinse and repeat and that was what your average day looked like. 

“So, what’s up with that thing between you and (Name)?”

You pause from your studying after overhearing that line and look up. Across the clearing are Alhaitham and a blond-haired man. Kaveh, if you recall his name correctly. 

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply,” replies Alhaitham. 

“Is there some sort of competition between you two? Whenever I see you guys, you’re basically at each other’s throats over test scores and stuff.”

“There is no such competition. That would be a pointless waste of my time and energy.” 

The urge to throw your book at his head across the clearing is strong, but you’ll settle for Kaveh giving him a doubtful expression.

“You say that and yet you’ve been putting more work into your studies than ever.” 

“That’s none of your business.” 

But for all your efforts, you can’t seem to catch up to him. He was always one step- or rather, one point- ahead of you. He’d always be there, subtly rubbing his achievements right in your face even though the difference is practically negligible at least half of the time. 

It gets to the point where you begin to rant about your troubles to Lisa. 

“Can you believe this guy? It makes me wonder if he’s a sadist of some sort that gets a kick out of annoying me.” 

You’re sitting outside in one of the many gazebos around the Akademiya. Despite studying under a different Darshan, you quickly became friends with her.

She laughs lightly at your words.

“To me, it sounds like your poor heart is troubled! Shall doctor Lisa perform a checkup on you?”

You swat her hand away.

“Don’t play with me like that. And you’re not even an Amurta student!”

You hear footsteps coming down the pathway and speak of the devil, the topic of your conversation is walking toward you, his book in hand as always. You watch him out of the corner of your eye. He meets your gaze and holds it for several long, agonizing seconds before looking forward again and disappearing out of sight. You shudder and look away, Lisa chuckling lightly at your actions.

“Asshole,” you grumble. “What’s his problem? And did you see how cold his eyes were? Makes me wonder if the rumors of him having a heart of ice are true…” 

Lisa hesitates at that. 

“I’m afraid that’s where you’re wrong, (Name).”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

She purses her lips and looks off to the side. 

“It’s hard to explain, even for me. But you’ll see and come to understand in due time how acutely aware he is of the emotions of those around him, especially those he is close to.”

You think you understand the meaning of her words a few weeks later when the results of a particularly rough test greet you.

75%

Damn it, you think before roughly shoving the papers into your bag, away from the prying eyes of your classmates. I can’t falter here now. I still have so much more to do.

“I can tutor you if you’d like. I don’t offer this to just anyone, so I’d advise you to consider it,” Alhaitham says in the library later that day. You know that most people would kill for this opportunity and you weren’t blinded by jealousy to the point where you couldn’t see the benefit of his offer. 

But your pride prevents you from accepting it.

“Thanks, but I’m fine. I’d rather do this myself.” 

Another time, Alhaitham has to get up at a time when he should be asleep. Earlier that day, he had left a book of his behind and forgotten about it until now, leaving him to search the now-dark and empty halls of the Akademiya for where it might be. 

He happens to pass by the House of Daena on the way and sees a solitary lamp lit in the back corner where he usually frequents. Out of sheer curiosity, he steps inside to see there’s a familiar figure hunched over the desk, clearly fast asleep with piles upon piles of books and notes stacked around them. 

Alhaitham gazes down at you with his ever-impassive eyes, silently wondering what to do next. A cold gust of air blows through the library and he shivers slightly. He looks down at your exposed arms, then at his jacket, before taking it off and draping it over your form. Catching a cold would serve you no good and you’d most likely return it to him later tomorrow. 

Before he leaves, his curiosity gets the better of him and he takes a quick peek at your notes. 

His eyes widen ever so slightly. Much of the material scattered around your desk was far ahead of what you were and needed to be learning. Did you borrow these books and notes from upperclassmen? The handwriting is a mix of yours and someone else’s… He doesn’t see the point in you doing so- it’s all just unnecessary work, in his opinion. Either way, it’s none of his business and you can do as you please, but Alhaitham can’t help but wonder if you were doing all of this just to stay ahead- to keep up or even surpass him.

He leaves and you wake up soon after to something warm and soft covering your shoulders. It’s a standard Akademiya-issued jacket for the fall and winter terms. It’s way too big on you and the sleeves completely cover your hands. Curiously, you pull it tighter around your form. It smells nice- like old books and coffee- and you suddenly realize who it belongs to. Your face suddenly flushes and it’s not from the warmth of the jacket.

Alhaitham-!

The next day, Alhaitham arrives at his usual spot in the library. You’re sitting across from him as usual and interestingly refuse to make eye contact with him.

Sumeru’s climate has always been temperate, but the days are getting longer and warmer now. You’ve finally shed your winter uniform for your spring one and with the end of the year rapidly approaching comes major tests. The library is the most packed it's ever been with students everywhere cramming last-minute. It’s rare to find an empty table now, but thankfully your spot in the back with Alhaitham is still left unoccupied. If not, Alhaitham’s cold glare is more than enough to scare them away. 

For one of your classes, it’s a project instead of a test. You have the option to choose the type of project, but for some stupid reason, your professor was still assigning partners instead of being able to choose.

“And (Name), let’s see… hmm, I’ll pair you up with Alhaitham. How does that sound?”

Your blood runs cold and you hear your classmates snicker around you. You want to scream at the prospect of it. Sumeru would sooner freeze over before the two of you cooperate and he knows it. You catch him staring at you out of the corner of your eye, daring you to say no. 

You swallow your pride and nod. The tips of your ears burn and at that moment, you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole. 

“... That sounds fine.”

How humiliating.

Later that day in the library, he’s even more infuriating than normal, if that’s even possible. His face betrays nothing but you can hear the smugness dripping from his voice and mannerisms. His arms crossed in front of his chest, the way he would subtly look down on you with that know-it-all gaze… it all made you want to punch his (handsome) face. 

“Don’t fall behind now,” he says once you’ve finally settled on a project.

“Let’s see if you can even keep up with me.” 

Your project is relatively straightforward but involves a lot of cooperation between you two. As you work, it becomes an all-too-common sight to see you arguing everywhere you go, much to the irritation of others.

“I’m telling you, this character has to be symbolic of rebirth! Why else would we see it so concentrated in scripts that were dated toward the end of that civilization?”

“You seem to be forgetting that this has also been seen elsewhere. Besides, there are reasons to believe that it means something else.”

“What, did it get lost in translation? If you think you’re so smart, then go ahead and enlighten me.” 

You glare at him as he sips his coffee (with milk and two sugars, you note. Just the way he likes it). 

“God, can they just kiss already?” grumbles Kaveh from where he sits across the room. Lisa and Tighnari sitting at the same table nodded in agreement.

“Meeting up to work outside of class is normal, but over lunch? Sounds like a date to me,” complains Tighnari while not-so-subtly eyeing the way you animatedly bicker with him. 

“Hey, isn’t this Alhaitham’s treat as well?” asks Kaveh. Tighnari’s ears twitch and perk up at his question. He glances at the both of you- Alhaitham just paused to ask if you’d like a refill of your tea, and you said yes- before groaning.

“It sure looks like it…”

Lisa decides to take matters into her own hands.

“Are you two arguing or flirting?” she asks in a loud voice.

“Arguing!” you retort. Alhaitham merely rolls his eyes and steals one of your samosas while you aren’t looking. 

“I saw that! Give it back!”

“Too late.” 

Two months, lots of bickering, and lots of coffee later, you present the culmination of your work to the class. For all the headaches and lost sleep you had to endure, your efforts are handsomely rewarded with a perfect score and rare compliments from your professor. And for that alone, it was well worth everything you went through. 

“Good job. It was a rewarding experience working with you. I daresay that our arguments aside, we make for a decent team.” 

You look up to see Alhaitham.

“Oh? A rare compliment from the stoic and sharp-tongued man himself?”

“Don’t make me retract my words.”

“Ouch, how cold of you.” 

When you return to your dorm later that night, there’s a note addressed to you from Lisa.

I overheard one of your professors talking about you and Alhaitham with someone else today- Professor Behnam, I think that was his name? I’m fairly sure this was after you guys presented because they mentioned that briefly. I wrote this down in a hurry as they were speaking, but here’s what he said:

They complement each other perfectly. While they both have unmatched erudition and wit, one has the creativity and uninhibited ambition the other tends to lack. However, he is more pragmatic and logical. Despite their differences, they make for a perfect team.

They will surely be among some of the best scholars the Akademiya has seen in a long time.

You end your first year tied for the top of the class with him.

“I’m home!”

“Welcome home, (Name)! How were your last few weeks at the Akademiya?”

Your parents’ home is as warm and welcoming as always. The house has been freshly cleaned and is practically shining. They take your bags and usher you into the kitchen, where your favorite dishes are sitting on the kitchen table, freshly cooked for dinner with steam still rising from them.

“It’s been fine,” you say. “Stressful, but also enjoyable. I like my classes and I get along with my classmates and professors.” 

“How are your grades? Have they been finalized yet?”

You nod and beam them with pride.

“Ended the year at the top of the class.”

Your parents’ eyes widen and they clap excitedly.

“That’s our child!”

“As brilliant and talented as always!”

“Good, keep going! Remember to study for money!”

“I will!”

Your mother leans in close and clasps your hand in hers. “After these four years, you should continue your education and become a sage! Maybe even work your way up and become the next Grand Sage!”

You balk at the prospect of it.

“A-A sage? Mom, there are tons of talented people in the Akademiya- that’s where the best of the best go to study! The chances that I’ll make it to that point are slim!”

Your father clicks his tongue and shakes his head. 

“Nonsense!” he exclaims. “You ended this year at the top of your class, you know. Besides, you inherited the intelligence of both your parents- I’d imagine that this would be a doable task for you. Also, imagine how amazing it would be if you were to become a sage! You’d be the first one in the family! Wouldn’t that be such an achievement for us?”

“That’s not even true! There was someone else who tied with me for the top of the class as well and if I’m being honest, he has a better shot at it than me!”

Your mom’s eyes sharpen and you instantly regret saying that. 

“He? So… a guy, huh?”

You mentally brace yourself for a barrage of questions.

“What’s his name? What’s he like? How smart is he? Is he good enough for you? Does he have-”

“Dear, stop it,” your father says. “Look, you’re overwhelming them.”

You sigh and shake your head. “For starters, his name is Alhaitham-”

“Alhaitham? I’ve heard that name somewhere before… wait, I remember now!” exclaims your father. “His grandmother was a Ksharewar scholar. His mother was a renowned Vahumana scholar and his father was a mentor in Haravatat.”

“Was?” you ask. Your father bites his lip and looks away.

“... His grandmother passed away a few years ago and from what I heard, so did his parents when he was young.” 

“Oh.” 

The kitchen is silent for a few moments before your father breaks it.

“Wait, (Name), why do you look so surprised? I thought you knew this already, considering he’s your rival and everything! I thought you would at least know something about him.”

“Dad, that’s exactly the point- we’re rivals and I don’t want to know anything about him! All that matters is beating him at his own game and that’s that. Besides, he never tells me anything about his personal life, so why should I do the same?”

“They’re right, you know.”

Your father merely rolls his eyes at your mother’s remark. 

“You know the rules, don’t get too close to him now,” your mother warns. “You have to do whatever it takes to be the best, whatever? That’s what you promised us.”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, mom, I know. I’ll do my best to become a sage.”

Your parents lean in to hold you close, your mother giving you a soft kiss on the forehead.

“That’s our child. Make us proud, ok?”

“I will!”

After a lovely three months of summer vacation (and not being forced to see Alhaitham every day save for the rare occasions where you’d run into him in public- you’d immediately turn the other way and act as if nothing happened), you head back to the Akademiya for your second year. Like last year, you share many of your classes with the bane of your existence, although things are… less tense than they were before. The underlying spark of competition is still there, but not as prominent as before.

Alhaitham is pleasantly surprised at how you’ve mellowed out over the summer. Something in your eyes has hardened and the way your mouth is set is different now. You’ve lost some of the baby fat in your cheeks (shame, he enjoyed poking and prodding at them, much to your annoyance) and you’ve grown a bit taller as well. He’s grown taller as well and to your irritation, he’s gaining on you. He’s put on some muscle as well and according to Kaveh, who you befriended over the summer, he’s started learning the art of the sword.

(“What for?” you had asked back then. He had merely shrugged.

“Too much free time on his hands, I guess. I thought he was training to be a mercenary at first.”

“I just can’t imagine him with a sword. In my mind, I see him toppling over from the weight of it.”

“Same here.”)

On the first day back, you merely greet him with a nod and you’re less opposed to working with him than before- although you can’t seem to break the habit of making a sarcastic jab at him now and then.

As the year progresses though, Alhaitham notices a change in you- namely, your test scores. He catches a glimpse of them sticking out of your folder at the library.

85%. 75%. 83%. 79%. They’re not as good as they were last year but they aren’t a concern for Alhaitham. As far as he knows, you’re still doing good overall and your classes are getting harder. It’s only reasonable and he hasn’t observed any noticeable or drastic changes in your personality, so it doesn’t warrant any concern. 

That is, in his eyes. The same can’t be said for you though.

You didn't realize how much time you had spent studying until the library was closed one day. Sitting at your cramped desk with your roommate you barely know nowhere in sight, you’re suddenly aware of how quiet it is. Normally, you’d hear at least something- people arguing down the hall and music playing, among others. But today, it was eerily silent. 

From the back of your mind, you recall news of a party that was supposed to be happening around this time. Lisa extended an invitation to you but you turned it down, claiming that you had to study. It was a bullshit excuse, now that you think about it. 

(Lisa had looked at you knowingly when you said that, but not in a good way. Worry was present in her eyes, resigned to the fact that she couldn’t do anything.

“Alright,” she had said. “Just… don’t head down the path I think you’re on.”)

Your pen freezes mid-stroke as a horrifying thought crosses your mind. You now finally understand the true meaning of her words. 

Have I… been making the right decisions? How much have I missed out on? 

Your books and the allure of good grades tempt you, but you force yourself to evaluate your life so far. You have some of the highest marks in the entire class but you realize you have almost no experience or connections, and that was what really mattered.

All of the studying in the world can’t compare to pulling a few strings, after all.  

Not long after the year starts, Alhaitham notices that you’ve started going out more. You’re spending less of your time at the library during weekends and instead spending time with friends in the city. 

(“You actually have a life outside of the Akademiya. I’m surprised.”

“I should be the one telling you that.”)

 “Come on, (Name), come join us at the tavern tonight! We booked the place and everyone is going to be there! You’re missing out if you don’t, just saying…”

The familiar voice belonging to a certain blond makes you look up. You huff a sigh and set your notes down to glare at Kaveh, who has been pestering you to go to a party at Lambad’s Tavern tonight. You’re about to tell him you’re not interested when you stop just short of saying so.

Will I regret saying no?

“(Name), you’re young right now! Take some risks and live life a little, otherwise, you’ll have nothing to look back fondly on once you’re all old and wrinkly! That old dusty rock-of-a-friend Alhaitham would say the same thing, you know… although, maybe he’d phrase it differently.”

Kaveh’s right, you realize. I can make up a test. I can always study later. But I’m only young for a little while. I can’t make up for lost time. 

“Just curious- what’s in it for me?”

“Oh, the usual. Free food, entertainment, a break from these stupid books, alcohol- oh, and you might get to see a rare drunk Alhaitham there! Doesn’t that sound exciting?”

“No need to venture into that territory. You already had me at the free food part. So, what time?”

Later that evening at the tavern, you realize Kaveh wasn’t kidding when he said everyone was going to be there- he really did mean everyone the moment you step inside. Lisa is the center of attention with wide-eyed students gawking at her alcohol tolerance- seriously, how is she not drunk yet?- while Tighnari stands in the corner with his ears folded over and eyes squeezed shut. Cyno’s glare is more than enough to scare anyone away as he leads the fox hybrid upstairs toward a quieter spot. 

There’s enough alcohol being passed around to knock a Sumpter Beast unconscious. You only have a few drinks, not wanting to be hungover on a weekday. At one point, a familiar voice drifts its way over to you.

“(Name), over here!”

It’s Kaveh, and… Alhaitham next to him is drunk from the looks of it? His face is flushed and he stumbles as he walks with Kaveh being the only thing stopping him from faceplanting onto the floor. 

“I thought Alhaitham could handle his alcohol?” you ask as you sling one of his arms around your shoulder and make your way out the tavern. 

“He does, but he tried a new type of alcohol tonight that was stronger than he expected. Fire-something… it’s from Snezhnaya, if that explains anything.”

You glance at his heavily flushed face again and sigh.

“Yeah, that explains everything.”

After lugging Alhaitham across Sumeru City and up the many steps leading to the Akademiya, you’re prepared to say goodnight to Kaveh and head back to your dorm when you feel something latch onto your shirt. It’s Alhaitham and even in his drunken stupor, he’s surprisingly strong.  

“Wait.”

“What is it?” you ask after a moment of hesitation. His answer is instant.

“Don’t go,” he slurs out. 

He’s drunk, you remind yourself. Don’t take anything he says at face value.

But even so, you spot the opportunity to tease him. 

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Because… you’re one of my only friends.”

You go quiet at that. Nothing could have prepared you for that response. Every witty remark and sarcastic jab you had prepared on the tip of your tongue fizzled out instantly. Even Kaveh, who has no shortage of words when it comes to Alhaitham, falls silent. 

In the year or so that you’ve known Alhaitham for, he’s never been one to get close with people, instead preferring to keep them at arm’s length. Most likely, it’s the alcohol inhibiting his filter, but you can’t ignore the little flutter in your stomach at his words. 

“I guess you are one to me as well, Haitham. I-”

“Say that again.”

His sudden demand makes you pause. Despite his drunken state, there’s a fire in his eyes that briefly makes you question whether he’s sober.

“... I guess you are one-”

He stops you. “No. Not that. Repeat what you said at the very end of it.”

“Haitham?”

“Call me that again.”

“Haitham.”

“Again.”

A smile creeps onto your face now that you’ve finally caught on. How cute. 

“Haitham.”

“Again.”

And secretly inside, you’re happy. Happy that someone considers you a friend for the first time. You no longer feel dehumanized from idolization or isolated from everyone else and you realize it’s what you’ve been secretly wishing for this whole time. 

“Goodnight, Haitham.”

It’s now a common occurrence between you two to drag each other to activities on the weekends. One day, it’s Alhaitham camping out with you late at night to go stargazing. (“(Name), this is boring.” “You can go home if you want. I won’t stop you.” “Hmph.”) Another day, it’s him inviting you to the various coffee shops throughout the city and sampling their beverages. (“The shop we went to last week does a pour-over better.” “You think so too?”)

Another time, you’re heading back to the Akademiya after a day of shopping and playing Genius Invocation (he lost miserably several times in a row to you, much to his embarrassment). It’s been overcast the whole day and the air has been humid but you nervously brushed off the weather’s warning signs.

Something wet lands on your cheek. You blink and look up, then at the ground where raindrops are rapidly dotting the surface. You meet Alhaitham’s gaze, the rising panic in your eyes apparently visible because he pulls you toward the souvenir shop, where you both seek shelter against the escalating downpour. Sheets of rain crash against the ground and the sides of buildings and the gusts of wind make the trees sway violently. 

(You both, like idiots, forgot to bring your umbrellas. In the middle of Sumeru’s rainy season.) 

You can barely see past your two feet but you can make out something moving nearby, and it’s getting closer. Small, gray, and most definitely sopping wet, it’s… a cat?

The small creature pauses and runs as fast as it can toward you. You take your hat off and scoop it up, where it meows pitifully and sneezes. A quick check tells you that the cat is a girl. 

“(Name), what-”

“Look, Haitham,” you whisper as you shrug your jacket off and dry the cat. “Poor baby must have gotten stranded and lost in the rain. She came running to us for help.”

The cat shakes off the last of the rain clinging to her fur and now you can see that she resembles Alhaitham quite a bit with her gray fur and green eyes. You wonder if she has his attitude as well… 

“I wonder if she’s someone’s pet cat that ran away.” 

“She’s probably one of the city’s many strays. I don’t see a collar on her.”

“She’s well-fed for one…” you grumble, noting her plump belly. “So, can we keep her?”

“(Name), you know animals, unless they’re service animals, are not allowed in Akademiya dorms.”

“That hasn’t stopped people though. Someone on my floor snuck their pet cat into the dorms and it’s an open secret among all of us.”

“But still-”

And then you hit him with puppy eyes. The edges of your mouth quiver and turn down, while your eyes soften and go wide. 

“Please?”

His resolve crumbles instantly.

“Fine. But you’re keeping it.”

You sheepishly smile. “About that…”

What now?

“My roommate is a blabbermouth and a stickler for the rules. If I kept her, she would be gone and back on the streets before noon tomorrow.”

“Are you suggesting that I take care of her?”

“Are you against it?”

“Taking care of an animal is a big responsibility, (Name). One that requires time and-”

“I can help you take care of her. With the two of us looking after her, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being optimistic or oversimplifying the problem here.” 

You roll your eyes and Alhaitham looks off to the side.

“I’ll have to ask Kaveh-”

“Kaveh would be over the moon at the prospect of you bringing home a cat. You know how much he loves animals. This cat will be in good hands under his and our care.” 

Looks like he now has no other choice but to say yes. He heaves a deep sigh and looks back up at you.

“Fine. I’ll keep her in my room.” 

Your face lights up.

“But first, we need to give her a name.” 

You scrunch your brows and think for a moment.

“How about Thamina?”

“Thamina,” he repeats. “Meaning valuable or priceless. It fits well.” 

You become a frequent visitor to Kaveh and Alhaitham’s dorm after that. It gets to the point where Alhaitham gives you his copy of the spare key so you could come and go as you please (to which Kaveh gives him a knowing look that he pointedly ignores for his own sake). At first, you primarily visited to take care of Thamina, but at some point, you began visiting primarily for him. 

Study sessions slowly move from the House of Daena to his room, with him at his desk and you sitting on his bed. Thamina bears witness to the heated debates shared between you two in the late hours of the night and the quiet moments of studying. Alhaitham is there to keep her company throughout the day, but she patiently waits for you after a long day of classes. She watches as you two steal each other’s belongings and food (occasionally joining in if she smelled fish in the box you brought home from a late-night dinner). When there is a disagreement between you two, she’s there to help you reconcile in the form of demanding affection and cuddles. 

But when she and Kaveh are fast asleep, only you two are privy to the heavy conversations that happen once and are never brought up again. 

“Tell me more about your family, Haitham.” 

He freezes, then casts a suspicious glance at you over his shoulder.

“Where is this question coming from? And why?”

You shrug.

“I just wanted to know more about the people that raised you to become the person you are today.”

“... My grandmother raised me,” he says after a moment of hesitation. “I admittedly don’t know much about my parents- only that my mother was a renowned Vahumana scholar and my father was a mentor in Haravatat. They both died in an accident, thus leaving me under my grandmother’s care.”

You make yourself comfortable on his bed and nod, urging him to continue. 

“My grandmother was a Kshahrewar scholar. By the time I was born, she had already retired. As such, she had a lot of free time. We did a lot of things together.”

He pauses to recount his fading memories of her. 

“She liked to bake. Her desserts were on the sweeter side, but I have the recipes. I can tweak them so they’re less sweet for you.”

“I’d like that very much.”

“She liked to cook as well. I’d often wake up to the smell of food in the kitchen and she’d be there at the stove. She’d make my favorites and always save most of it or the best parts for me. Unlike with baking, she never used any recipes for her cooking. I’ve tried to imitate her dishes, but it’s never exactly the same as I remember.”

Haitham’s bed is comfy, you note. You pull the covers over yourself, feeling your eyelids grow heavier. 

“Were you a chubby child who was spoiled by grandma?” you tease.

“Yes,” he admits. 

You giggle. “I wish I could have seen you as a kid, chubby cheeks and all.” 

There are baby photos his grandma kept that he now has, but he’ll never tell you that. 

“Like you, she was more of a tea person than a coffee person. She liked hers sweetened while I liked mine more plain. She never knew where she left her reading glasses and she’d always ask me to find them. When I was younger, she’d read a bedtime story to me every night. If there was nothing we were doing, I’d spend the whole day on her lap as she read the books of my choosing aloud to me. One of the last things she told me was that I was so similar to my father, both in nature and appearance. And more than anything else, she was kind.”

“You miss her, don’t you?”

“Yes. I miss her a lot.”

“Your grandma sounds like an amazing person,” you sleepily mumble. “I would have liked to meet her.”

The last thing you hear before finally drifting off is Alhaitham’s whispered response.

“She would have liked to meet you too.”

And the next night, the conversation is equally as heavy.

“Hey, Haitham.”

“What is it?” he whispers back.

“Do you think that.. I don’t know, that I’m not quite who I used to be?”

Alhaitham sets his pen down.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Do you think I’ve changed in more ways than one?”

“Well, you’re less annoying now.”

You give him a well-deserved jab on the bicep with the end of your pen. Much to your annoyance, he doesn’t even flinch and continues. 

“The way I see it, change is inevitable. We all fight and run from it, but it eventually catches up with us. It is neither good nor bad. Rather, it’s what you make of it. But to answer your question, yes. You’ve matured more mentally. You’ve realized there’s more to life now. You’re learning how to live life on your own terms now, aren’t you?’

Your silence tells him everything he needs to know. 

“Tell me, Haitham. What do you wish for?”

Alhaitham is a simple man with few desires. If all his basic needs and simple wants of books and time to himself are met, then he is content. But your question has him thinking. Is there anything else he wants in his life? 

And it turns out the answer is yes. 

“Regardless of how things turn out in the future, I’d like to be able to continue talking to you like this. That’s my wish.”

Kaveh stirs in his sleep. Thamina rolls over and makes biscuits on your lap. A small smile creeps onto your face. You turn away and resume your work. He does the same.

It’s a mundane scene- two Akademiya students pulling another all-nighter to complete their work. And yet… 

Yes, this is what I want, Alhaitham thinks to himself. Everything I could ever want means nothing if you aren’t here. 

The spring semester comes around and with that comes the finals grind. You’ve thrown yourself into your studies in a last-minute attempt to save, in your opinion, your failing grades since you aren’t at the top of your class anymore. (Alhaitham thinks you’re insane- you’re still in the top five.) As if to rub it in your face, you get a letter from your family one day.

We heard that you’re no longer at the top of your class. What happened? 

Your eyes and mind glazed over the rest of the letter until the end.

Study harder. You can end it the same way you did last year if you would spend more time on it. Don’t get distracted now. 

A rare instance of frustration flashes through you and before you know it, you’ve ripped up the letter and tossed it in the trash. 

Who told them that anyway? 

“Lisa… graduated early?”

The news comes to you over dinner one day when you ask where Lisa is upon realizing she’s not there. You’ve just finished all your finals and you want nothing more than to relax and catch up on some sleep, but news regarding your best friend makes you temporarily forget about those plans. 

Cyno nods. “It’s a whole thing now. They’re saying she’s the best student the Akademiya has had in the past 200 years. Once in a generation is what they’re calling her now.”

You bite your lip and look away. A weak “tell her I said congratulations” is all you can get out as envy begins festering deep within you. You’re ashamed of yourself- she’s your best friend, for Archon’s sake, you should be feeling excited for her- but you just can’t.

Why couldn’t it have been me instead? 

You end your second year third in the class, with Alhaitham at the top.

“Welcome home, (Name).”

The house is a little chilly when you step inside. Dinner has already been prepared- it’s sitting on the table- but it looks like it was made some time ago. Your father ushers you into the kitchen, where your mother waits expectantly, her lips stretched into a thin smile when she sees you. 

There are the usual dinnertime conversations- how has your day been? Fine, yours? Same old, same old- but they feel stiffer than usual. It doesn’t flow and you find yourself internally wincing at the heavy silence between you.

“So.”

You pause and look up at your mother, who has finally broken the awkward silence surrounding the kitchen table.

“We heard you… didn’t do so well at the Akademiya this year.” 

You freeze and internally brace yourself for what is to come.

“Only third this year? (Name), you were first last year, how come you couldn’t place first again? That’s not so hard, is it? You just have to put some effort in, stop being so lazy, and you’ll do fine! Besides, it’s only your second year, what could be so difficult about it? We know you’re smart and that you could’ve easily been first again. You’re just getting complacent, that’s all! Do you really want that Alhaitham to beat you at your own game? How humiliating would that be for us? Think of the embarrassment we, your poor mother and father, would face from others in the Akademiya- our golden child (Name), who was once someone people aspired to be, but now nothing but a disappointment!”

“Your mother’s right, (Name),” says your father. “We have high expectations for you, or should I say, had.” 

Their disappointment cuts deep into your soul, yet something quietly snaps inside you. You glare at them one more time before slipping away.

“I’m not hungry anymore. I’ve lost my appetite.”

You go to your childhood room and lock the door behind you. Your parents’ voices- most definitely talking about you- drift up the stairs and you do your best to tune them out. As if to mock you, hanging on the wall across from you are all the awards you won at academic competitions throughout your life. Trophies, ribbons, certificates, and medals line every bit of space available, all of them with your name and a first-place title proudly engraved onto them.

Now that you think about it, were you really happy with being the best? Your younger self would laugh and say “of course!”, but why exactly? 

And then the realization hits you. You personally felt nothing being the best at everything. The title, the fake smiles, and the forced compliments from others- they couldn’t mean less to you.

You were only happy because your parents were happy. Were you ever happy with yourself- with who you were as a person? You don’t know.

Stars live for an incredibly long time, but they too must die out one day. Their reserves of hydrogen gas will inevitably run out and they will either go out with a bang or a fizzle depending on their size. Larger stars go out in a blaze of glory, expanding up to several times their size before exploding and bathing the universe in the remains of their supernova for eons to come, while smaller ones condense from the gravity pushing inward and shrink down into a cold white dwarf, destined to drift across the universe alone for the rest of time. That is your fate, yet you do not know it yet. The last of your fuel has finally been spent, and the end is nigh. Whether you will go out with a bang or fade into obscurity is something only time will tell. 

You’ve had enough of the stifling atmosphere in the house.

It’s only been a few days since summer vacation began and you’re already at your wit’s end. The heavy silence hanging in the air and their passive-aggressive comments toward you make you want to tear your hair out. Or run away. Maybe both. 

There are still lots of days left before you start class again. Surely there’s something you can do until then…

And then it hits you: traveling throughout Sumeru! You were born and raised in the city, but you’ve rarely ventured outside of its borders. This could be a good chance to expand your horizons and gain experience!

So without further ado, you pack your bags, plan a route, and begin your adventures. Most of the time, you’d leave at dawn before your parents woke up and return late at night after they’d fallen asleep. Sometimes, you wouldn’t return for days, instead choosing to camp outside or stay at a friend’s house for a while. From what you’ve heard through your neighbors and friends, your parents don’t seem to care what you’re doing either. Some of your friends even say that they look happier now that you’re out of the house. The notion stings, but you don’t dwell on it for too long.

There’s a strange sense of peace you feel throughout your travels that’s foreign to you. Whether it’s camping out underneath the stars or scaling a rocky cliffside, you’ve never felt more attuned to yourself than now. You gradually discover more about yourself that you otherwise would have never known. You like stargazing even more after seeing the expanse of the night sky and all its stars for the first time without the light pollution of the city. You like to swim, as demonstrated when you dove headfirst into a river for the first time and felt the cool waters wash over your skin. You’re decently skilled with a bow and arrow after Tighnari gives you some lessons and his old bow to keep yourself safe on your travels.

Most importantly, you discover how to find happiness by yourself. After being told your whole life what you could and couldn’t do, being able to take control of your life was a liberating feeling. 

You end up seeing Alhaitham quite a bit during this time. Strangely enough, he was always one of the first people you’d see returning back to Sumeru City. He’d always give you a subtle nod when he noticed you staring at him before leaving. Sometimes, he’d even be there to wish you a safe trip- no, not sometimes- almost all of the time. It’s basically a given that he’ll be there to see you off at this point. How he hears about it every time, you have no idea but you aren’t complaining. 

“Leaving early as always, I see. Where to this time, (Name)?”

You pause from checking your supplies to see Alhaitham standing behind you.

“I’m heading down to Gandharva Ville to spend some time in the rainforest. But you’re up this early just to wish me a safe trip? I didn’t take you for a morning person.”

“I’m not. But someone should see you off each time, and if your parents won’t do it, then I will.”

“Y-You… how did you know?”

“Know what?” he asks while stepping around to help you with your bag. “All I know is that I’ve never seen them send you off or welcome you back.”

“So be it then,” you grumble. “It’s not as if I care.”

So he doesn’t know about our strained relationship yet, you muse to yourself. That’s surprising, considering how big mother and father’s social circle is… 

“You’re all set now. Best you head off before it gets too hot.”

“I will. You take care as well.”

He watches you leave through the city gates until you’re no longer in sight. A rare expression of longing crosses his face then and only after lingering for a few more moments (with his eyes trained on where you once were) does he leave. 

He was lying when he pretended to be unaware of your family situation. When you’re hailed as one of the best scholars in recent times in a land that has a borderline fanatical dedication to academics, everything pertaining to you will be scrutinized and monitored. Your sudden decision to leave Sumeru for extended periods of time, and the way your parents refused to talk about you or changed the topic whenever you came up… it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. 

For your sake, Alhaitham hopes you would return later rather than sooner so you wouldn’t have to hear what was being said about you. 

“You seem to have gotten good at this,” he remarks over coffee and desserts when you return several weeks later. Alhaitham notices you’ve put on some muscle. There are some new scars and the bow slung on your back is an unfamiliar sight as well. “You would be a perfect candidate for the Adventurer’s Guild.” 

You laugh. “Nah, it’s not for me. As much as I enjoy traveling, I don’t think I could earn my living through it, plus I won’t be able to keep it up once I’m all old and wrinkly.”

“Tell me about your adventures though. Where did you go?”

Your eyes light up and you begin rambling excitedly about your travels. You go into great detail about your time spent in the Avidya Forest and your spontaneous decision to travel to Liyue, which catches him off-guard.

“Liyue?” he repeats when you mention it. “So that’s why you were gone for several weeks instead of days. I’ve never been there before. Tell me, what was it like?”

Your smile grows even bigger and your eyes may as well have been stars from how brightly they were shining.

“Oh, you should’ve seen the architecture- actually, wait, I should be telling Kaveh this- but it was so pretty! The food was super good too and a friend I made shared some of her recipes with me. I have a feeling that you’ll like them so I can teach you some other time! Ooh, and you can’t miss the scenery for the world! Personally, my favorite was…”

You’re so caught up in reliving and telling your adventures that you fail to miss the fond look in his eyes and the rare hint of a smile that stretches across his face. 

You’re halfway through recounting your way back home through the Chasm when you happen to glance at the clock and the realization begins to set in.

“I have to get going now,” you explain as you hurriedly gather your belongings. “I’m meeting up with some other friends in a bit. But thanks for the coffee and sweets. Hopefully, I’ll see you around again sometime soon?”

The chime above the door jingles as you rush outside and Alhaitham is left alone with his thoughts. With a deep sigh, he takes a look out the window and decides to address the thoughts about you that have been on his mind lately. 

You’re annoying, there’s no doubt about that. You love to push his buttons and purposefully irritate him. You’re an overachiever and you care too much about what other people think. For the longest time, your whole personality consisted of your academic accomplishments and nothing else. You’re a people pleaser and you long for acceptance and praise from others- two things he thinks are utterly useless coming from other people. The moment someone questions your abilities, regardless of who it is, you begin to second-guess yourself and waver. Ridiculous, in his opinion. You know your worth and skills better than anyone else, so why are you letting their baseless accusations affect you? You’re easily affected by rumors and your self-worth is determined by what others think of you. 

But you have a warm and welcoming demeanor that’s rare in the cutthroat halls of the Akademiya that draws others to you like a moth to a flame. You enjoy traveling and you have a major soft spot for animals, especially cats. Whenever you’re in the city, you always stop to pet all the strays roaming around, no matter how long it takes. You enjoy sweets- not the overly cloying kind, but the ones that have a touch of sweetness to the point where you can just taste it. Your favorite dessert is the Padisarah Pudding sold in the Grand Bazaar and he’s stopped by so often that the vendor knows his name, face, and order by now. You’re more of a tea person than a coffee person, but he has your coffee order memorized just in case (iced, with two sugars, a splash of milk, and rosewater) and he’s the one that has been mysteriously supplying your favorite tea whenever it’s running low. He notices you like to ramble about things you’re passionate about (and he willingly- gladly- listens too). 

And he’s come to realize that maybe you’re not as insufferable as he thought you were. You have a brilliant mind and you’re one of the few that isn’t put off by his blunt nature. You don’t just tolerate him- you appreciate him, flaws and everything. 

You’ve always been envious of him- he’s known that ever since he met you. Because of him, you have strived to prove yourself as better in all aspects. A stupid rivalry is what it started off as with your pride getting the best of both of you. But throughout these three years, you’ve only brought out the best in each other.

At this point, he doesn’t feel complete without you. 

He’s well aware of the question hanging over people’s minds whenever they see the both of you together. You are the sun, the golden child of your parents who are renowned within the Akademiya and held to the highest level of scrutiny. Their judging gazes, eyes that fixate on every move of yours, comments whispered behind your back- you take them all in stride. Meanwhile, Alhaitham’s presence is glossed over when you’re there. To many, he is just another Akademiya student that they will see in passing and forget about immediately. In that aspect, he is the moon that hides from others. Those who were acquainted with his parents or his late grandmother may recognize him and speak with him, but he mostly goes unnoticed and ignored. 

But free from the prying eyes of others, Alhaitham is able to sleep peacefully at night. Your fitful sleep, on the other hand, is plagued with dreams of what-ifs and the looming fear of disappointment from others. You’ve always succeeded, not because you craved success, but because you feared failure and how others would react.

The rising moon admires the sun because of the boundless love they receive from others. On the other hand, the setting sun is envious of the moon for his sweetest dreams that they can only long for.

You enter your third year with a sense of apprehension that wasn’t there before. Your high hopes for yourself are still there, but they’ve been dashed considerably. But despite your lack of ambition now and your experiences from last year, you still (attempt to) throw yourself into your studies, knowing that this year is where the challenge begins. Your first two years were just warmups, or nothing, according to your parents. 

Your first few weeks go well, but before you know it, you find yourself lost and overwhelmed by the material.

I… don’t understand any of this. But how could this be? I’ve spent so much time. 

Your test scores don’t reflect your efforts either.

45%. 50%. 63% 67%. 55%. 38%.

“Damn it!”

You slam your fist onto your desk table as the results of another failed test greet you. You had spent so much time preparing for this one, only for your efforts to be rewarded with a slap to the face. 

You can’t keep going like this. You need help, and desperately at that, but you can’t bring yourself to ask for it. 

You’re smarter than everyone else, you don’t need help, a familiar voice comes into your mind. You’re the pride and joy of our family because of your grades. Don’t let us down now. 

You look out the window, the heat still simmering in your stomach.

“What a load of bullshit.” 

“... I saw your test scores earlier today.” 

You glare at Alhaitham with poison in your gaze that was never there until now. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he feels strangely uneasy, like his body is warning him to stop. 

“And? Here to mock me for it?”

“No. On the contrary, I want to offer you my help.” 

Oh, the humiliation. Look at how far you’ve fallen. 

“Forget it,” you snap. “I don’t need your help.”

You get up and leave, slamming the doors shut behind you. It echoes through the House of Daena and the other students there turn to stare at Alhaitham in silent shock. He’s stunned too. Although you can have quite the sharp tongue at times, you’ve never lashed out at him like that before. 

A few weeks later, the results of another test are announced. Alhaitham’s name sits at the top like it always has. His name is on everyone’s tongue as they jealously grumble over the results once again. His eyes examine the list, searching for one name in particular, until he finds yours at the bottom of it.

He pauses, then turns around in time to see you storming out. He doesn’t miss the looks your classmates give you- mocking, ridiculing, scornful, and disgusted sneers that relish in your downfall. The jealous grumbles about him now turn into titters and sneering whispers with your name now being trampled upon by those that used to extol your virtues. It’s all noise and it grates his ears until he can’t stand it anymore.

“What a waste of time.”

The noise stops and everyone turns to look at him. 

“You all have the energy to complain about your own scores while making a laughing stock of someone else. It’d be better spent on improving your own scores- unless you’re just that incompetent?”

Later that night as you’re studying, you get a message from your parents through your Akasha. It’s the first time you’ve gotten anything from them all year. After hesitating, you open the message.

It’s short and simple but your heart sinks and your temper flares after reading it. You rip your Akasha Terminal off and toss it to the side. 

Don’t come home this year. 

“I need your help. I’m asking for a friend.”

Alhaitham looks over his book at you. It’s the first time he’s seen you all week and to be frank, you look awful. Your hair is a mess, your uniform is wrinkled, and your skin looks dry and dull.

“Do I know them? If not, then I won’t help.”

You roll your eyes and throw your hands up exasperatedly.  “Ok fine, yes, you know them.”

“Well, why won’t they just ask me themselves? Why trouble you?”

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter right now. Just answer the damn question.”

He leans back and knowingly looks at you. 

“They’re going through a tough time right now,” you explain, choosing each of your words carefully. “They aren’t doing good in their classes and they’re trying to get back on track, but they don’t know how to.”

“... This is for you, isn’t it?”

Damn, he saw right through you. Were you that obvious?

Alhaitham goes back to reading his book. “I can’t say I would be of any use here. After all, I’ve never been in that position nor would I let myself get there.” 

You feel your temper flare once more. You clench your jaw and try to reign in your anger before speaking to him. 

“Well, duh. You’re also not helping either.”

“Really? I think it’s a perfectly reasonable answer.”

“Put yourself in my shoes for once, would you?”

He sets his book down and looks at you.

“You asked me for my advice and I told you what I would do in that situation. I don’t understand why you’re getting upset.”

“That’s because it’s not the answer I’m looking for!”

“That’s on you for expecting others to somehow know what you want without telling them.”

“You-!”

You groan and run your hands through your hair.  Is it just you or is he being more insufferable today? Can’t he read the room for once? 

He continues. “If you wanted someone to only tell you what you wanted to hear, a mirror would be a better audience.”

“Alhaitham, all I’m asking from you is a little empathy. Is that so hard to have?”

“And is it so hard for you to stop throwing a hissy fit just because I didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear?”

His words are all spite and knives meant to hurt. They lack the usual lighthearted tone he has with you. You feel it coming- the barbed words that are poised to strike and cut deep, but it doesn’t help when he begins speaking again. 

 “You asked for my help and I gave you advice. You’re not in a position to be complaining here.” 

“Yeah, well, your ‘advice’ isn’t what most people would consider as help.”

He scoffs and looks away before looking at you once more- like he’s looking down on you, you realize. There’s something akin to disgust and impatience in his gaze that makes you freeze despite all your sharp words earlier. 

“How irrational could you be? You reject everyone’s help even though you need it and you don’t listen to anybody’s suggestions. You’re too caught up in the conception that you’re always right and everyone else is always wrong. You’re childish, (Name), that’s what you are. You’re like a child still naive and ignorant, content with playing with their toys and games and ignoring reality. You’re not cut out for the Akademiya. You never were.”

He laughs and now you realize just how much it hurts when it’s directed toward you. 

“And you’re telling me that my ego is overinflated. No wonder you’re failing everything. Archons, (Name), you’re utterly hopeless. What did I ever see in you?”

The silence that fills the space afterward is enough to make Alhaitham immediately regret his words. You angrily glare at him and Alhaitham’s heart sinks when he recognizes the emotion present in your eyes.

Utter hate.

“... For all these years, I've heard so many rumors about you but chose to brush them off,” you begin. “I was so stupid! I should have listened to them! They say you’re cold and heartless and only now do I realize that they were right. They say you’re not human from how cruel you are- archons, dammit! Look at me!”

The sudden demand makes Alhaitham nervously glance toward you after avoiding your gaze this entire time. You sniff and wipe away the few tears that managed to spill over. Losing your composure in front of him, the perfect and poised genius, was already humiliating enough, but you hold his gaze long enough to let him see. Let him witness the results of his own actions and the prospect of losing someone he cared about (all over again).

“You’re an absolutely horrible person, Alhaitham. I hope you remember this.”

Alhaitham. It’s the first time you’ve used his full name ever since you befriended him and the implications of it sting. 

He reaches out toward you. “Wait-”

You slap his hand away. 

“No, we’re done here. I thought you could at least understand, but you’re just as uncaring and self-centered as everyone else here. And I once thought that you were better than anyone else here, but only now do I realize how stupid I was."

You laugh sardonically one last time.

“My parents were right. They would have been so much happier if you were their child.”

Alhaitham doesn’t see you again for several weeks after that. It’s as if you’re purposefully avoiding him and it gets to a point where he’s beginning to get concerned about your health and safety. 

Currently, he’s meeting with Tighnari. Out of everyone, the fox hybrid had the highest chance of knowing with his keen sense of hearing.

“I’m concerned about (Name).”

Tighnari’s ears twitch in response. 

“They aren’t the same person anymore. You’ve seen it too.”

The fox hybrid sadly nods. “They’ve been consumed by rage and self-hate. I see it in their eyes and the way they lash out. They’re angry at themselves and at everyone around them and it’s completely understandable considering the situation and the response of those they trusted most. Still, it’s not healthy if they continue like this. Speaking of which, were they always this temperamental?”

Alhaitham shakes his head. “No. To be clear, they’ve always had a sharp tongue but it was always lighthearted. They only started getting truly angry this year.”

“Lashing out or displaying signs of anger is often a common symptom of burnout. I’m fairly confident that’s what (Name) has. Specifically, academic burnout. But I’m sure you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Alhaitham uncomfortably avoids Tighnari’s prying eyes. 

Tighnari’s eyes narrow. “Look, (Name) is a great friend to me as well, but why are you telling me about this? You’re in their Darshan so shouldn’t you know more?”

“I haven’t heard anything about them either. I got concerned after they didn’t show up at the library for a week. From what I’ve heard, they haven’t been showing up to class either for the past few weeks, which is strange for them. I’m asking around- maybe I’ll find something out that way.”

Tighnari shakes his head. “Sadly, I don’t know why either. If it helps, some people have said they haven’t even seen them. Not just at the library or at class but in general. It’s almost as if they’ve just… disappeared.”

There’s a moment of silence that passes between them. Tighnari stares at Alhaitham curiously and he rests his chin on his hands.

Alhaitham doesn’t have a good feeling about this…

“Speaking of which, does the fight from earlier have anything to do with this?”

“You knew?”

“Please. When two of my closest friends get into an argument as big as that, I’m bound to find out eventually. So, did it have anything to do with this?”

“... Yes,” he admits. “I feel guilty and I want to apologize to them.” 

“Well, better late than never,” grumbles Tighnari under his breath. The stink eye he sends his way doesn’t go unnoticed by Alhaitham. 

“Why do you care for them so much?”

The question comes out of nowhere and leaves him reeling. 

“I suppose it’s… because I consider them a friend?”

Archons, that answer sounds even more pathetic out loud than it did in his head and Tighnari knows it. 

Tighnari heaves a long sigh that makes Alhaitham pause.

“You absolute lummox!” he snaps. “I always knew you were somewhat emotionally constipated but I didn’t think you’d be this dense…”

He suddenly stands up and stares the ashen-haired male in the eye, his tone softer this time. 

“You’re in love with them, Alhaitham. That’s what you’ve been feeling lately.”

Alhaitham immediately scoffs. “No, that can’t possibly be-”

“You, who hates sharing what you consider yours, share your notes with them.”

“It’s a win-win situation for both of us. We’re in the same Darshan and we’ll be able to learn better from each other.”

“But them, specifically, when there are countless others that would kill for the chance to learn from you?”

“They can figure the material out themselves. Plus, I stand to gain no benefit from what they have to offer.”

“What, so only (Name) can keep up with you?”

“Precisely.” 

Tighnari sees the opening Alhaitham has created and takes advantage of it.

“Are you sure that you’re still rivals? Even though (Name) is…”

“Of course. It’s been like that since day one.”

“Huh, that’s interesting. Because from what I know, academic rivals don’t go out to lunch together. They don’t go stargazing even though a certain someone finds it mind-numbingly boring. They don’t sneak out past curfew and break Akademiya rules on a daily basis, and they certainly don’t spend hefty chunks of Mora to make the other happy.” 

Tighnari has Alhaitham backed into a corner and he knows it. 

“Kaveh knows as well.”

“And?”

“And you still let yourself get roped into his schemes to make them happy. Look, I know this isn’t a good time to bring him up considering…”

He gestures at the empty space, a silent indication of Kaveh and Alhaitham’s broken friendship. 

“But there’s no denying that Kaveh did and still does care about you. Why else would he be willing to put in so much time and effort to make them happy? Because in addition to being their friend, he knows that when they’re happy, you are as well. And if that doesn’t mean something, then, I don’t know what else does.”

“We’re just friends,” he argues once again. Tighnari glares at him.

“You’re an idiot to think it doesn’t go deeper than that. You also saw them off every single time during the summer.”

“That’s what friends do. Besides, their parents should have-”

“Uh-huh. Go on, keep lying to yourself like that. Do I have to hit you over the head with a brick in order for you to realize your own feelings? You’re sounding like a broken record here.” 

“I-”

“There’s no use in denying or lying to us, Alhaitham. We’re your friends, after all. But the one who’s going to have to decide what to do next is you.”

He gets up and gives Alhaitham a pat on the shoulder. Before leaving, he looks at him one last time.

“It’s going to hurt even more when you lose them for good. You’ll only wish you could have done something sooner. But I think you already know that by now, right, Alhaitham?”

“Do you know where (Name) is?”

It’s a rare occasion today- Alhaitham actually showed up for class. But it wasn’t to listen to whatever the professor had to say- no, it was to ask your classmates where you went. He’s been trying every day to find you, but only to no avail. 

He’s gained some valuable information, however. Your roommate moved out a while ago, leaving you the sole occupant of your dorm room. He also managed to find your dorm room number after asking some of your “friends”, who after relentless prying, reluctantly opened up. 

“I can’t say for sure, but I heard they’re in the hospital. They somehow ended up there over the weekend.” 

“The hospital?” he repeats. “Do you know why?”

“No idea. Sorry.”

He shows up at the Birmarstan after the class ends, fully expecting to see you. He gives the nurse his name and a few minutes later, she returns with an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry, but the patient is not accepting visitors at this time.”

A slight pause. Barely perceptible.

“I see.”

You look at the window to see Alhaitham’s retreating form. The nurse enters your room a few minutes later and crosses her arms.

“He’s the first person who’s asked to visit you ever since you came in. I’m surprised- I thought you’d get more. Most people usually do.”

You pull the covers over your head and roll over. Such is the way of life in the Akademiya. Friendships were formed out of convenience as a way to climb up the ladder later in life. As soon as you were no longer useful or fell from grace like you did, others were quick to abandon you without a second thought. 

So why did Alhaitham visit then? To you, your relationship (as enemies? Friends? Or even…) was built solely on how you could assist each other, and nothing more. By your prior logic, there is no logical reason why he should visit you.

Unless… 

“Is there any reason why you didn’t want to see him in particular?”

Even if your hypothesis proved to be true, it doesn’t excuse or undo the hurt he caused.

“He’s the last person I want to see right now.”

A few days after being discharged from Birmarstan, there’s a knock from the door that wakes you up from your sleep. Still disoriented, you look up and roll over, opting to ignore it and go back to sleep.

The knocking continues. You cover your ear with a pillow and squeeze your eyes shut even more.

“I know you’re there, (Name). Several people told me so.”

Shit, it’s the last person you want to see right now. Your mood sours instantly and now you’re fully awake. 

“What do you want?” you snap. 

“I just want to talk.”

It doesn’t seem like he’ll be going away anytime soon, so you get up, kicking the trash that litters the floor to the side, and carefully cracking open the door. He looks down to see you. You pull the sleeves of your shirt down as he does so. 

“Can I come in?”

You look behind at the mess that is your dorm.

“... It’s not exactly clean right now.”

“That doesn’t matter to me.”

You flick the lights on and hide the worst of the trash underneath your bed. He follows you, his gaze traveling around the room. He notices the side with the unoccupied bed is considerably cleaner (that must have been your roommate’s before they moved out, he reasons) and your desk looks like it hasn’t been used in a while. He takes a seat at it and examines the table. Your Akasha Terminal is lying in the corner and collecting dust. Your textbook is open to a section that was taught a while ago and it looks like you just started taking notes. 

(Although, the frustrated scribbles that occupy most of the page have him concerned. Additionally, certain parts of the paper are wrinkled, as if they have dried after getting wet. The shape and spot where they are concentrated in is another cause for concern as well. Were you… crying?)

You pull the covers over your form and glare at him. 

“Well? What did you want to tell me?”

“I’m sorry.”

You pause, then shake your head.

“That alone won’t be enough.”

“I know. And that’s why-”

He gulps, his voice shaking toward the end. It’s just a simple apology, so why is he so nervous?

(But deep down he knows the real answer: this is his last chance to ask you for forgiveness before losing you for good. And it was the thought of losing you, the one that had managed to worm their way into his heart and appreciate him that scared him the most.) 

“I’m sorry. I really am. I shouldn’t have said those things back then. I should have been more understanding of your struggles and, like you said, had some more empathy. I realize that I am far from an ideal friend in many people’s eyes and if you feel the same, I will not hold that against you.”

His chest tightens and he subconsciously looks away.

“I’m aware of how people see me- valuing logic above all with a mind fueled by equations and facts over feelings. A genius with no regard or need for others. But I’m still human. I feel regret and remorse the same way as anyone else. I know when I’ve messed up and when I need to apologize. Now is one of those times, more than ever.” 

You turn around and open the blinds, letting the light flood the room before sitting back down, watching him carefully. 

“I don’t want to forgive you. Do you have any idea how long your words lingered for?”

The words sting Alhaitham. Your voice shakes and you feel the familiar burning sensation in your eyes. 

“But I know you. I know your bluntness and sharp tongue. You often say hurtful things but don’t mean them. You’re stubborn and slow when it comes to apologizing, even if the guilt eats away at you. You don’t wear your heart on your sleeve and you’re not one to dish out praises, leading others to believe that you’re cold and unsympathetic.”

You suddenly lean in, staring into the eyes that had kept you awake at night for so long. His eyes widen slightly and you smile faintly to yourself. 

“But I like to think that I’ve gotten to know you a bit. You show that you care with your actions, not your words, but that takes time- time that most people aren’t willing to give because of their first impression of you. You take the time to learn about the people you care about and prefer acts of service to words of affirmation and physical touch as your love language. You show that you care in a way of your own.

“So yes. I forgive you.”

Alhaitham finds himself sighing with relief. Yet a question still lingers in the back of his mind.

“Why?”

And there it is again, for the first time in a long time. Your smile. It’s a little stiff and awkward, as if you haven’t smiled in a long time, but it’s undoubtedly yours. 

“The same reason. I missed you too.” 

And now begins the uncomfortable process of recovery. 

“How long were you gone for?”

“... Longer than I’d like to admit. Catching up is going to be a difficult task, isn’t it?”

“I won’t sugarcoat it; you’ve missed a lot.” Alhaitham flips through your books and notes from prior years. “However, you have a strong foundation from your earlier years. That should help you. But first, let me ask you a few questions so I can outline a study plan for you.”

You raise your eyebrows at his statement.

“You’re taking this quite seriously, aren’t you?”

“Naturally,” he replies. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Knowing you, you’re not the kind of person to go out of your way for others,” you grumble. “So going to such lengths just for me…” 

“You discredit me if you think that I would do that. But why do you think you felt burnt-out in the first place?”

You look out the window and think for a bit.

“... I think it’s because of my own pride. Had I asked for help earlier on, I have a feeling I wouldn’t be in this position, or things would be better, at least,” you admit. 

“But it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

You sigh and hold your hands out in defeat. “You surely know more than you’re letting on. But I think it’s also because I never learned how to study.”

Alhaitham pauses at that. “Really?”

There’s no mockery or derision in his question- just curiosity. 

“People goaded me on as a gifted child and I was expected to somehow know how to do everything perfectly the first time, you know? It’s just how things were.”

“Well, that’s something we can fix for sure.”

Your first few days back are the worst. Whispers and stares follow you wherever you go and your professors, who once showered you with praises, look at you strangely or even ignore you. 

“Don’t mind them,” he says when he notices you sulking in the library later that day. “You and I both know that’s just the way the Akademiya is. We’ll see who gets the last laugh.” 

Much to the envy of your classmates, he also personally tutors you in all your classes. He accompanies you to all your classes (even the ones he isn’t taking) and sits in on them, whispering and writing little notes of clarification and elaboration. 

Bit by bit, you see your scores slowly improve. Alhaitham teaches you an array of study techniques, many of which have been personally vetted by him.

“Try each of them out,” he says. “Different techniques work for different people. There is something out there that works for you.”

He’s able to bear witness to the fruits of your labor one day when he hears your excited footsteps running toward him.

“Haitham, look!”

You practically shove several papers into his face. “I got a perfect score on the latest exam! And guess what? I tied with you, meaning that I also placed first!”

A rare smile, solely reserved for your eyes, creeps onto his face. 

“Good job. Your score is well-deserved after all the hard work you’ve been putting in.”

He sees it now. Slowly but surely, you’re regaining bits and pieces of your old self. You’ll never be exactly who you once were, but that’s ok. You’ll pick the broken yet salvageable parts up and put them together to create something new yet still distinctly you.

He only looks forward to seeing what you’ll become in the future. 

You’ve finally graduated.

It’s a joyous occasion today, filled with speeches, hugs, and promises to keep in touch. Families and friends crowd outside the Akademiya to congratulate their loved ones. The diploma in your hands and the cords around your shoulders are a sign of your achievements and your persistence despite all the roadblocks you faced along the way. 

Your heart feels simultaneously burdened and relieved. You had graduated squarely in the middle of the class. You knew it was something to be proud of, yet that part of your former self that you could never suppress couldn’t help but feel disappointed. 

Not that it really bothered you anyway. When you walked across the stage to the smattering of applause accompanying your name, you had immediately locked eyes with Alhaitham in the crowd. He was clapping, but what caught your attention the most was the smile he sent your way. It wasn’t one of his once in a blue moon microscopic ones.

No. It was one where you could see a sliver of his teeth and where the edges of his eyes crinkled from it, the sight of which sent your heart ablaze. There was pride in his gaze and in that moment, you felt as if everything had been worth it- even if it wasn’t the outcome you expected. 

And when he walked across the stage, you were the one to clap for him the loudest. 

You push your way through the heavy crowds, searching for one person in particular. He’s not anywhere in the crowd, so you head down the walkway and there you see him. He’s waiting for you with a large bouquet of flowers in his arms.

“Took you long enough,” he remarks. Alhaitham holds out the flowers to you and you accept them gratefully. 

“Oh, you remembered my favorite flowers!” you exclaim as you examine the bouquet. “I have something for you as well.”

You hand him an envelope and he eyes it curiously when a voice interrupts you. 

“(Name).”

You hear an awkward cough behind you and you turn to see your parents. They stand there awkwardly, fidgeting with their hastily-purchased bouquet of flowers that pales in comparison to what Alhaitham got you. 

(You don’t even like the kind of flowers your parents got for you and you’ve told them that before…) 

“Congratulations on gradu-”

“Oh, you must be Alhaitham!”

Your mother’s sudden remark takes all of you by surprise. She rushes forward and eagerly shakes his hand.

“I’ve heard so much about you! You just graduated and you’ve already made a name for yourself in Sumeru as a genius! How incredible is that? Ah, if only my child here could learn from you, but they’ve already graduated, so it’s a little too late for that now…”

You bite your lip and look away. The action doesn’t go unnoticed by Alhaitham. He retracts his hand. 

“It was nice to meet you. We’ll be taking our leave now.”

“We’ll?” 

Alhaitham ignores them in favor of holding your hand and leading you away.

“I think a celebration is in order. The owner of the stall that sells your favorite Padisarah Pudding is offering us free dessert today.” 

The heaviness that was hanging over you just a moment ago is now gone.

“Free desserts? I’m in!”

“Then it’s settled.” 

Later that night, Alhaitham remembers the letter you gave him earlier and pulls it out. He glances at the clock. There’s still time before he has to leave and meet up with you.

Dear Alhaitham,

Thank you for being by my side throughout these four years when no one else was. I owe my entire academic career to you. Perhaps even my entire life. I don’t know if I’d be writing this letter if it weren’t for you. 

When I saw you on the first day, I wondered what you were doing here. You were short, scrawny, and shy back then. I thought you were one of those child prodigies. Who knew you’d turn out to be the buff man skilled with the sword that I know today… 

Honestly, I didn’t think that you would help me. You were the envy of our class, unlike me. I wouldn’t be surprised and I wouldn’t blame you if all that praise got to your head. I guess I didn’t know you well enough back then, though, because you defied all of my expectations. Not only did you not care for status or fame, you also took time out of your own day (which I know you hate doing) for me. 

You really are an enigma, Haitham. You’re a person with several layers and hidden secrets like an intricately-designed mechanism. But I think that’s one of the reasons that drew me to you. Everyone has their own secrets and burdens. By slowly learning more about each other, you learn more about yourself. 

You and I, we are inseparable now. Earlier today, I had someone come up to me and ask where you were. They were surprised that you weren’t next to me like always. At first glance, we seem more different than similar, especially with our contrasting personalities. But take a closer look and they’ll see that we share more in common than in differences. Opposites attract, but similarities bind. 

Like those dusty old philosophers and figures that we had to learn about in class, we are parallels of each other. You are simultaneously my biggest critic and supporter. My biggest rival and confidant. My biggest headache and source of comfort. 

But most importantly, you are my biggest friend. 

Remember that one night where I asked you what you wished for? You had said that you wanted to keep talking to me regardless of how things turned out in the future. I didn’t really have a response at the time, but now I finally do.

My wish is selfish. I wish for you to stay the way you are. A little arrogant, blunt, curious, and caring in your own way. Because I can’t imagine a future without you in it now. 

With all my love,

(Name)

The house is too quiet for Alhaitham’s liking. He appreciates silence when working and Kaveh’s incessant noise from working on projects at midnight is downright irritating, but there is a time and place for everything.

Now is not that time. Thamina is sleeping on the cushion next to him. Kaveh is out in a meeting with a client (for once) and you’re-

“I’m home!”

Speak of the devil, there you are. Thamina’s eyes open and she jumps off the cushion to greet you with a loud meow and a head rub against your legs. Alhaitham takes his headphones off and sets his book down before getting up to greet you after a long journey back from Mondstadt. You’re tired, your uniform is wrinkled, and your Kamera has been hastily shoved back into its case, but Alhaitham has never been more grateful to see you. 

“Missed me?”

“You’ve been gone for too long,” he grumbles before pulling you into a tight hug and burying his face into the crook of your neck.

“Love, it was only for a month!”

“My point still stands.”

You scrunch your face up and eventually manage to wiggle your way out of his grasp. It’s been a few years since you’ve graduated. Alhaitham has dutifully taken on the responsibilities of the Akademiya’s Scribe while you now work as a reporter for a newspaper company. You love the job because it puts your Haravatat degree to good use and you get paid to travel, although you don’t like the part of being away from Alhaitham for extended periods of time.

“Are you still up for dinner and dessert even though it’s getting late?”

“At my favorite place?”

“Our favorite place,” he corrects.

“Oh, you like it now as well? Did some of my tastes rub off onto you?”

“The pudding runs I went on for you did that a long time ago.”

Comets are ephemeral in nature. Some of them are only seen once and then gone, lost in time and never to be seen again. But occasionally, in a twist of fate, they can be rediscovered although it may take hundreds or even thousands of years for them to return.

That comet he had wished upon several years ago had finally returned to him.

[lostbookmark]

Masterlist

MDNI 18+

Summary: After four years your sister's ex-boyfriend comes back into your life. Can you keep your entanglement a secret? Will the guilt eat you alive? 

Pairing:  Sisters ex Yoongi x Insecure F. Reader. 

Genre: SMUT, angst, hurt - comfort, romance. 

Warning: Explicit sex, fingering, Possessive Yoongi, swearing, reader is insecure, jealousy, punishment, unprotected sex, drinking, dirty talk, praising, very light degradation, spanking, spanking as punishment, teasing, hair pulling, arguments. Overuse of the name, baby.

A/N Edited by me aka I just throw commas in and see if my document corrects it. 

Yoongi is a bit…mean(ish) in this one. 

Yay!! I have the next 2 chapters written. Posting will be every Sunday US time. 

A little SMUT under the cut. 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦ ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Kevin….Kris….Kihyun. No, none of those names sound right. He's good-looking and easy on the eyes, pretty smile but boring as hell. It's been a week since Yoongi took you home after the intense night you shared. You had stayed the night, and the next morning, you made up an excuse for needing to get home. You were scared to stay longer, afraid he would kick you out. He never questioned you or begged you to stay.  You exchanged numbers, but he never contacted you. You felt defeated.  You didn't tell anyone. Not Lisa or Jisoo. They would never let you live it down. Maybe this is why you let Lisa talk you into showing up at the “hot guy she ditched you for” house party. His name is Jimin. He seemed okay, you guess, but you haven't really gotten to know him. Her love interests never last long. Key…Kang…Kyle. That's it! You think his name is Kyle. 

“I just got back from Milan,” Kyle boasts. He is giving you what you think is probably his most charming smile. “I'll be heading to London again soon. Got quite a few photoshoots lined up. Mostly magazines, but I got a commercial too. I even have some contacts for Paris fashion week. I'm going to be a big deal.”

You really don't care, and you know that sounds mean. Why did Lisa introduce you to him? Did she really think you would hit it off with him?  Damn Lisa for making you come here. Damn Yoongi for not calling or texting you. Damn him for making the feel of his touch still linger on your skin.  Did you do something wrong? Were you just bad at sex. You know that you are pretty inexperienced, but it seemed like he enjoyed himself. He even cuddled you after he cleaned up with a warm washcloth. He was a pure gentleman. He even ran a hot shower for you as he made a quick snack afterward. You may or may not have tried to remember the brand of his shampoo. After some light bickering, he let you sleep on his side of the bed.  So, why didn't he call? Was there someone else? Oh my god! Were you the side piece? Of course, someone like Yoongi would have someone waiting for him.   

“Lisa said that you two have been friends since you were young. You work together too, right? ” Key…no Kyle said and you nod your head.

“Yeah, umm..” You started but were interrupted.  

“Baby,” you turn to see Yoongi staring daggers at you. How the hell did he know you were here? You're pretty sure that your jaw is on the floor right now. Yoongi places himself right behind you. He rests his chin against your shoulder and hands coming together around your stomach. “Who's your friend?” Why does he say it so calmly despite his glaring eyes? 

You freeze, your body rigid, and can't say anything.  One week, it's been one week, and now he's right here. You don't know what to say. Are you supposed to throw yourself at him after he ignores you? You wish you could throw a shitty comment his way, but you don't. It's not who you are. You wish you could tell him that since he isn't interested, maybe you will go home with Kyle. He looks at you and Kevin…no Kyle impatiently. His glare, thankfully, is fully on Kyle now, and you don't want it back on you. Nope, you are definitely not going to say that, even if it’s a lie. 

“Hey man, I'm Kai,” Kai that's his name! You knew it started with a k. “Didn't know she had a boyfriend. Lisa lied to me. Sorry about that.” Kai apologized and rushed out of there. Literally, he walked away as fast as his legs could carry him. You wish he would take you with him. Technically, you guess Lisa didn't lie. 

You turn in his arms to look at Yoongi fully. He looks pissed. You don't know if you should be scared, angry, or turned on. Is it possible to be all three? His eyes looked hard, unlike a week ago. It seems like such a long time ago. Maybe it was just a fever dream, and you made it all up. This Yoongi is different, and it is making you anxious. 

“We're leaving,” he breathes heavily in your ear. 

He takes your hand and threads your fingers through each other. He starts heading for the door, and you have no option but to follow him. You don't want to fight him and cause a scene. You try looking around for Lisa, hoping you spot her. You don't see her, but you do catch a glimpse of Kyle…Kai chatting up another girl. She seems thoroughly excited about it. Good for her. Looks like you probably dodged a bullet there. When you get through the door, you notice his car just down the street a little ways. Lisa picked you up earlier, and now you're kicking yourself for it. Yoogi practically rips the car door open and looks at you expectantly.  He holds the door with one hand while his other is on his hip. 

“What are you waiting for?” He asked. His stare is still cold. “Do you want me to go get Kai for you? Do you need him to help you?” 

“Wh…what? No, why would I…” you were cut off.  

“Get in, baby. I'm already mad, don't make me tell you again,” he told you.

With one last look back at the house, you get in the car. The same car and spot you sat in a week ago. God, a week ago, you were shivering with anticipation. Now, you were confused and honestly a little scared. Where was he, and why was he acting like you had done something wrong? You knew deep down that Yoongi would never do anything to hurt you. However, this is a side of him you have never seen. You didn’t see it years ago either when he was still with your sister. Even during their fights at the end of their relationship.  You even spent a lot of alone time with him back then, annoying him. He never snapped at you. When you couldn't figure out how to parallel park, he never snapped at you. When Lisa got you drunk at homecoming and he had to pick the two of you up, he never snapped at you. He never did anything like this. 

“Cold?” He asks you. You're rubbing your hands together. 

“A little,” you answer softly. You want him to grab your hands and warm them with his own. Instead he cranks the heat. 

The only sound in the car was from the radio and the heat blowing on your cold fingers. You don't know what the song playing is, but the deep bass is slow. It's almost comforting. You want to close your eyes and drift to sleep. Maybe if you go to sleep right now, you'll wake back up in his bed, and you can redo everything. Obviously, that's not possible. Your eyes slide over to him. He's concentrating on the road, and there's a small tick in his jaw. His hand had stayed on the steering wheel. His knuckles were white with his grip. He didn't touch you, not even once. You want to cry. What did you do? Why is he so mad? How did he find you there? What did you do?  The song on the speakers switched to something less moody, and your eyes moved to look out the passenger window. The sky is clear, the stars shine bright and twinkling in the late night sky. You didn't care for it.  Not even one little bit. 

That soft yellow glow of the bedroom was exactly the same. So were his sheets and pillows. The memories were completely vivid and fresh in your mind. The sound of your skin slapping together, his grunts and your gasps. The way he held you when you drifted off to sleep.  You look at Yoongi sitting on the corner of his bed staring at you. His elbows resting on his knees and his right knee bouncing slightly You can't tell what he is thinking. You stand next to a large desk in his room. You think he must use it for work. There's messy paper everywhere and pens scattered all around. You try to focus and see what's on the paper but can't make out the scribbles. Poems, maybe? Does he write? You can't remember if he ever mentioned wanting to write back then. Maybe you didn't pay close enough attention. 

“Look at me,” he snaps at you. Your eyes immediately obey his command. “What were you doing  there with Kai?” Yoongi spits his name out in disgust.  

“I…I..Lisa introduced us. We were just talking,” you said softly. “I don't know him.” 

“So, you were just going to go off and fuck someone you don't know?” He asked and you were taken back. He was basically snarling at you. 

“NO!” You cried out. “I wasn't.”  You were getting worked up. “Why do you care? I haven't even heard from you in a week.” You shocked yourself by actually saying that outloud. Shit. You can't take it back now. 

Yoongi didn't seem amused by your outburst. Cracking his neck, he stood up from the bed and stalked up to you. You wanted to take a step back, but that messy desk prevented you from doing so. Yoongi rests both his hands on the desk, caging you in. His breathing and the sound of your own heart beating in your ears ring loudly in your ears. He runs the tip of his nose against the shell of your ear. Goosebumps race down your arms. Your body betrays you, wanting you to give into him. 

“You know,” he whispers in your ear. “The phone works both ways, baby. Get on your knees.” 

You swallow thickly. You aren't exactly sure what he means. Right here on the floor? On the bed? You decide not to make him wait and drop to the floor right in front of him. Are you supposed to undo his pants? Is that what he wants? You have never given a blow job before. Maybe you can fake it and figure it out as you go. You’ve seen porn. Just don't bite him, and you'll be fine. Your hands reach up and start to undo his belt around his hips. Yoongi chuckles a humorless laugh as he swats your hands away.  Oh, that's not what he meant. Tears well in your eyes out of embarrassment. 

“On the bed. On your knees, ass up,”  he snickers at you. 

You stand up slowly and walk with your head down to the bed. You don't want him to see the unshed tears or your embarrassed face. You know it's red. Your knees hit his mattress, the sheets are still soft. You lean down onto your elbows as you look at him, and he shakes his head at you. God, you probably look like such an idiot for not knowing what to do.  Yoongi walks over to you and puts his hands on the back of your shoulders, and pushes you gently down. Your chest and the side of your face meet the bed. He turns your head gently to look at the other side of the room. There's nothing to see over there besides his closet.  You feel the dress that you're wearing starts to rise up. Yoongi next adjusts your hands. Making sure that your fingers are interlocked above your head. You feel him get closer to your face. His breath tickles your ear. 

“Are you okay?” He asks you.

“Yes,” you say meekly. 

“Good. Stop me anytime,” he tells you as he kisses below your ear. “You thought I was ignoring you? You think that’s why I didn't call you?” He asks, but you don't answer. You can feel him slip your dress completely up and over your ass as he stands behind you. “Yes or no, baby?” 

“Yes,” SMACK! As soon as you answer, he spanks you. It wasn't overly hard but just enough to sting. Your body goes rigid, and your eyes widen comically in surprise. Oh! You honestly were not expecting that.

You wait for him to say something, but you're just met with silence. You don't feel his presence near you. You strain your ears to try and listen for him. Did he leave the room?  

“Y..Yo..Yoongi?” you asked softly and he didn't respond.

Suddenly, there was a tick…tick..tick noise in the room.  Slowly, you turn your head, and you see him sitting at his desk. His shirt is off, hair beautifully messy,  pants undone, but nothing obscene showing. Tick…tick…tick. It's one of those music things, a metronome you think it's called. The pendulum swings back and forth again and again. Tick… tick…tick. Yoongi is watching you kneel on the bed while playing with it in his hands. He almost looks bored. 

“Turn back around,” he tells you slowly. You turn your head back around. Tick…tick…tick. “You know what i was thinking all week?” He asks you. “I thought I was a horrible person. Did I force you here? Did I make you do something you didn't want? You wanted out of here so bad the next morning I thought you were going to have a panic attack.” 

The chair groans a little bit. You can only assume that he got up. You can hear the clicking of his belt buckle as if he's walking to you. You anticipate his touch, but again, nothing. Tick…tick…tick.  The oscillating noise is putting you on edge. The sound of his belt tells you he's close. Your breath is starting to come out as pants as adrenaline starts to flow through you. Your interlaced fingers twitching. 

“I wanted to give you space. I see that was the wrong thing to do. Why didn't you get a hold of me, baby?” He asked. You still can't see him.  

“I didn't want to bother you,” you mumble. SMACK! SMACK! You press your hands together tightly and screw your eyes shut.  Tears blurred your vision as they started to fall. You sucked in a shuddering breath.

“You could never bother me. Instead of talking to me, you decided to ignore me to fuck around with Kai? How do you think that makes me feel?” His voice raises some. SMACK! His hand gently starts rubbing your reddened cheek. Soothing the stinging with his cool palm. You hear him take a deep breath.  “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you say through tears. “I'm fine.” You really were. “I didn't…” 

“What?” Yoongi asks. His hand is still gently rubbing your reddened skin. 

“I thought you realized you made a mistake. I thought maybe I wasn't good enough for you. I'm not like my sister,” you hiccuped. You pressed your hands tightly together before he delivered the next smack. It never came. Tick…tick…tick.  

“Why would you compare yourself to her? Why didn't you say anything?” He asked. His hand stroked some hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. The strands were wet from tears. 

“Have you met me,” you try to joke through tears. You highly doubt Yoongi thinks it's funny. Yoongi leaned over to look at your tear stained face. Bending down, he kissed the tears away. You close your eyes and welcome him. He's here. The soft, gentle Yoongi is here now. 

Yoongi moved again and stood behind you. He hooked his fingers into your underwear and slowly slid them down your legs. His fingertips tickled the outside of your thighs as they traveled down. He lifted your knees one at a time so he could completely remove them from your body. Then, nothing. Why does he keep disappearing on you? You were tempted to turn and look for him again. Tick…tick..tick. Suddenly, his tongue is on you. You close your eyes and sigh, escape your lips , and fingers tighten together.  You push your hips back against his face to get him closer. His tongue swirls magical circles against your bundle of nerves.  One week, and you realize how much you missed this. How starved for his touch you were. You should have made the first move. This all could have been avoided. He was right. You didn't think about how he felt.  You shouldn't have gotten in your own head. You always get in your own head. Yoongi pulls away. Disappointment floods through your body.  Disappointment doesn't last, though. You hear his belt rattling, and pants hit the ground. He roughly pulls your body to him in one smooth move. Your own clothed back to his naked front. He gently tangles his hand in your hair, pulling your head back. Just like that, gentle Yoongi is gone.  Dipping his head, he slants his mouth over yours. Tongue demanding entrance. You relax and press your tongue against his, tasting yourself on him.  Soon, he lets go of your lips and hands roughly yank your dress down to your waist. You thrust your hips back with an arch of your back. He's hard. 

“Still good?” He asks again, hands and slowly coming up to cup your naked breasts. His fingers tweak your nipple. It sends a jolt right down to your core. 

“Yes, Yoongi,” you reply somewhat breathlessly. 

Yoongi pushes you forward so you were down on the bed again. Chest flush with the bed, ass in the air. His hands grip your hips, bringing you back to him. You feel him run his cock up and down your wet folds. Dipping the head in and taking it back out. He does this several times and it's driving you mad. You try to swivel your hips but he completely backs off with an airy laugh. SMACK! He slaps your ass once more. Grabbing your hair again, he pulls you up   savagely against him. His arm crosses over your chest, hand on your shoulder. He's supporting your weight against him. You tilt your head back to rest on his shoulder. Chest rising and falling with every pant of your breath. 

“I should have fucked you in front of him,” he hisses in your ear. “That way you wouldn't have to doubt me again. Everyone at that party would know your mine now. Kai….Lisa….Jimin.” 

 Yoongi's free hand cups your pussy, giving you teasing strokes. Teasing just like before. Fingers enter you shallowly just to pull back quickly. You look at him and you don't even have time to question him before he's answering you. 

“How do you think I found you tonight? We work together, baby. He likes talking about Lisa.” He explains with a chuckle. “Lisa… she likes to talk about setting her pretty little friend up with a date, but her friend is kind of shy. I took the chance that she was talking about you. Lucky me, huh,” Yoongi answers you as his fingers finally start pumping into you. Your wet, you thought maybe too, went given the situation. Your noises make it obvious how much you are enjoying this. “Too bad you're not available. Kai was pretty good-looking.” 

“Please, I'm sorry. I need you. Yoongi, please,” you beg him. Yoongi kisses your neck. Lightly sucking on your sweat slicked skin as his fingers pump into you faster. Marking you, making you his.

Yoongi lets his grip on you go. You fall to the bed and scramble to get back onto your knees in front of him. You lift your head and look over your shoulder at him. Trying to beg him with your eyes to do something…anything.  Tick…tick…tick. Yoongi finally grips your hips and pulls you back to him. Leaning over you, he places you exactly like he had you before. Chest flush with the bed, hands above your head. Rubbing your red marks with his hand, he deals one more blow before he sinks all the way into you. You sigh. He feels like home. 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦ ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Tagged reader

@unicornbabylover

[flowers-in-the-basement]

( this is dedicated to @according2thelore I love your fics more than life itself) (outsider pov weecest)

the boys at the corner booth seem hungry. They're different ages, one of them older- maybe 20, one of them probably around 15, looking young in a starved kind of way.

they're loud in a quiet way, bickering about nothing at all then falling silent for minutes, just traded glances and expressions.

They seem like good friends, ones had since childhood, cradle to grave, grave to whatever else. She had a friend like that once. Lisa. They carried eachother but Lisa didnt make it past 17. Barely out of the cradle, into the grave.

they order more food than she expected- all cheap but filling. Two home fries, two orders of toast, one burger. No drinks. The older one jumps when she approaches, eyes locked onto her.

He has a black eye. It doesn't marr his beautiful face, too model-pretty for that. But it does make her worried. She offers him ice and he declines.

He flirts with her a little, half-commited. The younger one glares at him the entire time.

Later she catches them kissing in their booth. So the young one can't be that young, or maybe the old one isn't that old. They're a cute couple. She "accidentally" gives them more food than they ordered, pays them back by comping their entire bill. The look the older one shoots her- so much gratefulness and thanks- almost makes her cry.

They seem like good kids.

[peachsukii]

“What the fuck are you wearing, squirt?” Katsuki’s voice isn’t acidic, but rather bewildered as he shifts his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Y’look like Lisa Frank threw up all over you.”

“Who the hell’s that? Your age is showin’, Pops.”

Watching the two of them bicker is a highlight of my days and something I choose to never get involved in. They usually sort it out themselves, anyways. Better not to get in the middle of a Bakugo household argument, especially father and daughter squabbles.

“Granny would kill me if I let ya walk out of the house lookin’ like that.” He points at Ryuko's skirt and jacket specifically. “Those colors don’t match at all, sweets.”

“She’s literally decades old, Dad. Fashion changes all the time!”

Oh, she said decades. Ouch.

“Listen brat, m’just saying to change into a black jacket or somethin’ so you don’t look like such an eyesore.”

She scoffs. “Fuckin’…fine. Lemme change.”

“Little harsh, Mr. Fashionista,” I joke toward Katsuki. “You gotta let her be bold, even if she does look ridiculous. You can tell her, but if she says no, let her figure it out on her own.”

“Peach, my daughter is not leaving the house lookin’ like a mannequin someone tossed random clothes onto. She’s better than that.” Katsuki puts his book down on the dining table and takes off his glasses. “S’outta love. Last thing we need is her punchin’ someone’s lights out for makin’ fun of her clothes.”

Ryuko comes back into the living room in a new outfit - a pink leather jacket, white top, jean shorts and black combat boots. She puts her hands on her hips as her ponytail sways back and forth.

“Better?”

Katsuki smiles and crosses his arms. “Much better, kiddo. Have fun. Be home—”

“—by 9, I got it.” Ryuko opens the front door and waves over her shoulder. “Love you, byeee!”

I can’t help but laugh. “She’s gonna rule the world one day.”

“Hell yeah she is, she’s a Bakugo, after all.”

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝐹𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑇𝑒𝑦𝑣𝑎𝑡, 𝑇𝑤𝑜 𝑂𝑢𝑡𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠

Genshin Masterlist

Mondstadt was far too peaceful, compared to the modern world of your planet. There was more greenery, more land to run around and just sit back and relax, trees and flowers weren't withered or tainted with cement...

And now, you were taking your words back as fast as Usain Bolt once ran.

Perhaps the outside of the city was just as you described, but the city? The City was the worst.

Children crying and screaming, people flocking around you and exclaiming their gratitude, elders praising you for your strength and beauty while telling how pretty and strong children you would have, how you were one of the fairest and most fierce maidens of the city and how blessed you were for having a face very similar to their Champion...

Aether's situation was worst, as he was soon surrounded with the teens of Mondstadt who had literal heart eyes for him, staring at his naked abdomen time to time as he blushed deeply while trying not to break anyone's heart...

You were starting to reconsider your early thought of settling here one day.

Your brain was turned into a puddle of jello, their constant talking doing nothing to relax your already throbbing head. Not even rubbing your temples worked, something that eased your school stress which often made your poor nape throb.

And the only way to just ease your poor abused mind, was to come to the Windrise where it was most peaceful with the almost-there hum of the nature and the huge tree

"Don't you think Lisa and Amber are like sisters?" you casually tell to Aether while extending a hand to touch the branch above your head as the shorter male looks up at you from the food he was eating, a kind of sandwich from your world that he was sure he would beg you to prepare more often.

It was one of the best snacks he ever had, and even tasted...familiar.

"Why do you say so?" He raised his brows with a questioning look, already preparing to hear yet another bizarre thing out of your mouth like you usually did whenever you were too bored, while wiping the leftovers on his lips with a napkin you offered so that he didn't use his dirty hands like an uncultured boy.

Nah uh, not on your watch.

" Amber does all of Lisa's footwork. Elder sisters also ask, rather demand, their little sibling to do something for them to laze around." You hummed all-too-knowingly with a shrug, slapping the branch softly with a smile.

He only hummed for a few seconds, pondering for an answer while looking through his previous memories with his sister. Although he forgot most of his memories, he was still able to remember Lumine and all the bickering they did.

And that alone put a smile on his face.

"Hmm... Since me and my sister are the same age, we always used to decide with playing rock, paper and scissors. How about you Y/N?"

"Oh... Uh, It's actually... Something I really don't want to talk about." you trailed off, clear discomfort written on your face as you and Aether sat side by side with Paimon laying on the green field like a starfish, looking up at the Tree of Vanessa and watching the slimes slowly go away to their path, totally unaware of the awkwardness that hung on the air.

But you also knew, from the almost teary eyes Aether had that he missed Lumine and needed to just vent... Even if you didn't wish to speak of your life back on Earth.

"How about Lumine? How is she like?" you asked him with a sigh, tightening your hold on your folded legs and resting your head on your knees as you turned your head to look at him with a soft smile. From what you vaguely knew, while Aether was a sunshine and more approachable due to his cute and round face, Lumine seemed more calm and collected and more likely to beat someone up and not be sorry.

Though she also had her soft and loving moments occasionally. As a matter of fact, you saw yourself in her even when you hadn't actually met her yet... A girl, looking so tough and strong, also sarcastic and funny in her own way, but is actually very vulnerable and in dire need of someone understanding her struggles and pain, and still loving and being there for her.

You could have become such good friends with her...

But you just... couldn't help wondering what happened to them. Why were they there? What did they see or experience enough to leave this world in a hurry? Why the Gods of this world didn't leave them be? What was beyond what others saw in them?

What did the Celestia plan for them this time?

You widened your eyes as your heart started beating erratically, all the while trying not to alert Aether, who was looking at the horizon, from your sudden fear, your mind was suddenly blank at what just crossed your mind. What was even this Celestia you just said? And what did it mean "this time"? You were so sure that you didn't know this world, you couldn't possibly know anything since you just started playing the game and getting into the lore, watching theory edits and such.

And you definitely hadn't read any books about the history of this world either. Then what was that sudden thought thar crossed your mind? Why did it sound like you knew this would happen and this Celestia?

The only thing you had gotten close to knowing about this world was that time when you first met Storm Terror and... a strange bard who talked to that dragon...

Who stared at you with a shocked face, eyes wide with terror and sadness as he looked at you tearfully, as if he had seen his lost lover after years of death taking his love away.

As if a war had wracked both him and whatever he held dear to himself forever to not give what he once blissfully had but never realized it. As if he had seen the ghost of a friend, or a lover right before him when he thought he would never.

Why am I thinking about such things? I mean sure, he was pretty cute with his big green and turquoise eyes and I literally felt my heart broke for him after he made such a kicked puppy face but... I don't even know him! Who is he anyways, and why do I feel like I know both him and that dragon? Why did such a terrifying creature literally whined at the first sight of me?

And your eyes just drifted up, where a land was floating slowly above, close to Mondstadt as if flauntly, as if to showcase its own power, to tell the humans below that they were the ones in power and that they could end them with just one single blow...

Arrogant jackasses... Those fucking, good for nothing Gods, thinking so highly of themselves yet still hiding...

Something inside of you told you that for whatever reason, you would see both that bard and dragon once again and then, you could demand some answers from him. Maybe it was a bit harsher than usual saying in such situation where you didn't even know that bard and therefore couldn't have any problem to begin with but, could anyone blame you for your fear, nerves and behaviour when you didn't know anything and anyone, not even about your travelling partners?

So, as weird as this whole situation was and you were getting the creeps because of it as if you were being watched, you were still happy to be here with Aether and hopefully learn more about him and his sister.

Maybe I could become friends with her too when all this ends and we find her? I wonder what she likes though, I hope she doesn't beat me up because I would be really sad but happy to be beaten by a strong, pretty-

At his silence that made the little balloon in your mind pop, which was enough to tell you that he wasn't ready to talk about her yet, you pondered for another way for him to open up without causing discomfort to him.

"What... exactly happened when you wanted to get out, Aether? And above all, why did you want to get out in a hurry?" you asked softly, not wanting to startle and trigger him since his eyes seemed lost as he concentrated on somewhere far away and also, not to dive deep in your own thoughts of being beaten by strong and pretty women.

He turned to you when he heard your voice after minutes of silence, focusing on your eyes as he shrugged his shoulders. He trully didn't remember much, he even barely remembered telling you that he and his sister was leaving in a hurry.... Perhaps, it was another play of that Unknown God to make him weaker, to enslave him forever.

He was going to have his revenge oh so badly, he swore it.

"I don't remember... All I remember is that feeling of panic and fear before the Unknown God came and another shooting star protected us before everything went black and I woke up near that shore."

You nodded your head absentmindedly, plucking a Windwheel Aster to play with as your mind played the familiar screen play where you needed to choose one twin over the other to save.

Which was just a while ago before you suddenly woke up here.

However, it was strange enough that there was a shooting star which protected them from the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles, Asmoday, though he was yet to know her true name. From someone way too powerful than anyone on Teyvat, even the Archons.

But yet again, it was only normal. Archons were once normal Gods who lived in Celestia, before whatever it was that resulted in the ruined buildings, abandoned castles and desolate lands all across this vast world.

Yet...

Since the world was changing with your presence here, obviously since you were not from the game and lore... Would you dare to change the destiny of this world? Of all the people you will meet, of Aether and Lumine? Of Paimon on who you had no idea over as to what or who she is?

Do you dare to go against Celestia, as a human who didn't have a chance against Them even when a God had a slim one at deceiving and fighting that power?

These were definitely not in the game... Just what else is different than the game version?

Apart from the uncertainty this new reveal brought to you, which was initially another side that excited you, life in Mondstadt was... Peaceful for the most part.

It seems their Archon did a good job with maintaining what they were created for: Freedom.

Even imagining what future days may hold for you in this city, the secrets those ruins held, the kind of history they hid and what you could discover there filled you with a buzzing feeling that almost made you shake with excitement. After all, playing through a screen and actually witnessing them were way different.

Spoiler alert: You didn't like those Ruin Guards.

But even amidst your happiness, the one feature you had thanks to your more shy and reserved self back in your world since no one really paid attention to you started working: Picking on the mood of people close to you.

And in this case, it was Aether who was your stark contrast, sitting with a face close to breaking apart.

At first glance, Aether almost seemed like he didn't care about what happened to him. His eyes were hard most of the times, even when he didn't talk about his sister, and since he was kind of selectively mute because he didn't understand Teyvat language and you and Paimon were the ones who talked to him and communicated with others in his stead, that's why people often thought of him to be too harsh and hard to get close to.

If only they knew how wrong they were, if only they knew he had such a golden heart as you stared at his teary golden orbs as the boy slowly broke apart after months of being alone.

"And just like that... I lost both my sister and powers as some kind of seal was casted upon me and now, we are trapped here." Aether spoke out in a whisper, too low for you to hear had you been a few meters away from him as he clenched his hands angrily, veins popping up by the sheer force he applied at remembering the smug face of that Unknown God that trapped him here.

You always knew how lonely and hard it must be for Aether, with no one else to talk to like you did and no one to spend time casually with. Humans, whether on Earth or some other universe, always needed to be social whether they liked it or not. The humankind had always been that way, always seeking out closure and companionship and never wanting to be alone. If asked "What do you fear the most?", most people here would answer with "Archons." probably with "being alone" being the second most given answer.

But Aether had been alone for the longest time and possibly fought with many Gods in other worlds and this one, just to get out of here with his sister.

He experienced all the fears of ordinary people.

Paimon could always fly to wherever she wanted and eat without a problem, and even go for her own journey if she wanted. You could always ask for help from people and even hang out with them freely without worrying about anything and there wouldn't be a huge language barrier between you and them as well, unlike a certain short blondie.

Paimon could find another travelling buddy, you could settle down here and even build a new life for yourself.

Aether had no one and no way to do such things.

How could I be so stupid to not see this before?! He must have felt too bad as I hung out with Kaeya! Like a lonely kitten only wanting its owner..!

"You know... You are not alone here." you tentatively spoke, after internally scolding yourself for being carried away from the excitement of being in Mondstadt, carefully weighing your words as you slowly touched his hand, to which he lifted his head slowly in shock and stared at your star-shaped eyes that seemed to captivate him even more with each day.

"What do you mean? Have I suddenly started to understand their language or something?" he sarcastically asked with a slight hint of amusement, which he only did with you and not Paimon because your reactions were better, making you sigh out and pinch his cheeks harshly with a giggle as you cooed at his flustered state.

"Getting sarcastic now, are we? Oh my, I didn't know you had that side of you!" he rolled his eyes sarcastically at your dramatic gesture, swatting your hand away. But as the noisy little shit you were, you kept pestering him and nudge him with a wide smile that Aether couldn't dare to erase.

Enjoyment, nowadays, was hard to find for him after all.

He continued to look at you and listen to you excitedly talk, even though he knew it was because of your nerves by how hard you were chewing on your lips and fiddling with your fingers. Unaware, you kept on talking while putting stray hairs behind your ear to push them aside, all futile attempts too mask your nervousness from what you were about to stay...

And whether they would come off as offensive.

"I mean, obviously, me and Paimon can't be like your sister and we absolutely have no intention to do so but we are your friends. If you have something troubling you, you come to us. If you want to talk about anything, absolutely anything, you come to me. Because let's be real, Paimon would probably pull it towards foods and I'm rambling but you got the idea-

"Thank you... Y/N..."

"And I mean, I know I could be very-wait, what?"

You stammered nervously in shock at what left Aether's mouth so softly with a deep emotion, not expecting the chuckle that left his lips breathlessly next at your shock. His giggle was really cute, something that eased your worried heart and almost made you think everything was back to normal and that you two were just simple people hanging out together and not trying to roam this world for a way to get out.

But he was trully grateful, grateful for your attempts of making him feel better, always looking out for ways to look after him, being his friend...

Everything.

"I know you don't trust us yet, but I can assure you that as long as I am alive, I'll make sure you see your sister again and travel worlds again." you finalized what you had to say with a firm yet soft pat on Aether's back, promising him just like the time you had to choose one of them with a heavy heart and let the other be taken.

Like the first time you felt like a true villain.

Aether only gave you a wide yet tearful smile as he nodded his head, the light of the Sun of Teyvat hitting on both of your skins and making them appear to be so soft that you almost thought it was coming behind a silk cloth.

After all, he wasn't going to be alone anymore... After fighting his demons in the dead of the night for so long, without anyone really understanding his struggles...

He now had another friend, another one who understood him and how traumatic it was to be trapped in a completely foreign world.

Seeing you finally broke every kind of ice between you two, and since you didn't want to be sad all day when the weather was so nice, you hugged him tightly from his shoulders with a wide smile, opening your palm to show the vast greenery before you which was a blessing of Mondstadt and their Archon... well, whoever that fucker was now.

"Besides! You can't really get rid of me that easily! I have this bad habit of never separating from those I deem very close," you whispered the last part almost threateningly, leaning closer to his ear with a hand covering your mouth and his ear as if there was someone that could hear you, unaware of the heavy blush covering his whole face while he avoided looking down at your lips unconsciously...

A sudden, soft murmur broke you two apart harshly.... And saved Aether from the embarrassment by giving him enough time to dip his whole face to the cold water at the Windrise.

" So, does this make you and Aether my siblings, Y/N?" you flinched when you heard the childish yet sleepy voice of Paimon suddenly, who grew on you even if she sometimes got on your nerves. She was stretching as much as her tiny body would allow, slapping her lips loudly as she yawned and looked around with wide and curious eyes as if she wasn't here hours before she slipped into a deep slumber

Nonetheless, you couldn't help but coo at her cute question with a hand over your chest as Aether chuckled next to you while looking at Paimon who was sitting in front of you both before patting her head and confirming her...

Well, that was before she decided to become a little menace to you once again.

"Wait, wha- Aww you are so cute for-"

"Since you do all the footwork and I float-"

A cheeky grin from her as you groaned.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" An irritated scowl was plastered on your face with brows raised in question at the floating emergency food, the latter wheezing at the expression of your face while Aether tried to cover his giggles to be spared from your wrath ( which only earned him a slap to the back of his head because how dare he get satisfaction from such thing!).

But as much as betrayed you were from Paimon fooling you, it was also... kind of funny, what she said. She was really like a kid who didn't have a filter on her mouth and mind, never knowing when and what was the appropriate time to say something... That was perhaps what made her endearing in your eyes.

"Come on, Y/N, I can see your smile! I know you found it funny!"

"...Maybe, yes, it was funny." you grumbled to which they let out a loud yay! and you smiled at their enthusiasm with tired yet content eyes as silence settled once again. Paimon eyed you and Aether for a few seconds, admiring how pretty and strong you looked as you allowed Aether to lean his whole weight onto you and laid his head comfortably on your shoulder while she wasn't in any different position as she laid across your lap, with your hand slowly caressing her hair and pat her head.

For some reasons, you always gave off of a comforting vibe ever since they saw you or well, you saw them, timidly getting close to them to ask if you could sit with them near the fire they had built, promising that you wouldn't hurt them. They were suspicious at first just as any normal person would be, but Aether couldn't find it in his heart to decline you when you looked so helpless, just like he first woke up in Mondstadt apparently and didn't know anything, desperately in need of help.

You reminded him of himself, helpless and unaware of the dangers that laid ahead.

What sealed the deal for you and them, since they had eyed you all throughout the night for any suspicious move, and since Aether was laying down from the deep cut he got from his abdomen and bleeding, but was only met with a happy tune you muttered under your breath while getting warm with a contented smile, was how easily you got up and drew your dual blades- which they soon learnt them to be actually a spear that could be connected to each other- to protect them from a horde of hilichurls and even two Abyss Mages, with burning red and blue flames engulfing your blades and later the enemy.

The only thing you gave to them that night was a serene smile as you pointed to his wound with a worried expression, which made them both wince with guilt from how badly they thought of you when you only cared to protect them.

"Your wound looks bad... I have some ointments I made myself and I know how to sew a wound, letting it stay open like that would surely make it get infected. If you allow me, may I help you, young travellers who helped me?" and then a gorgeous smile that captured them.

And as you prepared everything while making small talk with Aether to draw his attention elsewhere from the numbing pain of his wound, initially learning you both were not from this world, that was when your fates aligned together which would change the fate of all of the Teyvat.

Suddenly, you three had become each other's companions and the others' everything.

And as she laid on your lap comfortably Paimon felt... bad and even saddened for you, feeling like crying suddenly as she stared at your protective hold on both of them even while you rested, being completely exposed to any kind of danger, although they knew there were no hilichurls or Abyss Mages close by.

You have always been there for both of them, protected them even when you barely knew them, patched them up, cooked them food and even gave some of yours to Paimon because she loved that particular dish so much or to Aether both because he was hurt and he was usually the one who did most of the work and needed energy more than you...

You have always been sacrificing something for them and what had they ever done to repay beck for all the kindness and love you gave them?

So far, nothing... They didn't exactly have a lot of Mora , even with new commissions they were taking and besides, you always refused to have a share of it since you three needed to either buy food or medicinal items and strictly prohibited them from buying anything for you like a mother scolding her children from spending too much for them.

"I don't need anything to know that you care for me and love me, sillies! Just be happy, healthy and make sure to not hurt yourselves too much and we're fine! Seriously, you are giving me grey hairs..."

Perhaps they couldn't show their love however they wanted to, per your orders, but she could definitely tell you how much you and Aether meant for her!

"Besides the footwork joke... Paimon never really had a family, or at least doesn't remember having one. So, Paimon is very happy to have such strong and caring siblings!" she smiled serenely, genuinely as she tilted her head to look up at you both, knowing full well that neither of you were actually sleeping from the small smiles you both supported. She nuzzled closer to your lap happily with a relaxed sigh, not caring whether you heard or not because she was so damn sure you did.

Paimon really could be so damn adorable when she wanted....

She didn't have to know, but both you and Aether were keeping your eyes closed just so that Paimon wouldn't get worried because of the tears that blurred your visions from what she said so earnestly, her touching words reaching the depths of your heart.

"We really are a strange Trio, huh? Two Outlanders, one pixie baby who refuses to be our little emergency food-" you idly sighed out with hands smoothing down their hair gently, making them both sigh and nuzzle closer to you... Though Paimon was just a tiny bit agitated because of what you said about her.

"For God's sake, come on!" you giggled in the most evil way possible at her growing irritation and kicking her legs up in the air angrily but continued anyways with little to no care.

Hah, that's what you get for always teasing me!

"One can easily understand this world's weird language and also the language of his other outlander companion, but doesn't have any other super powers-"

"They are called Visions!"

"And even so, it seems that some people noticed our strange behaviour..." You mumbled to yourself in worry as your hand momentarily stopped in mid-action, head lifting up to look at the city far from you three, standing on the lake and bustling with energy.

Oh yes, Lisa and Jean had their own suspicions about your powers. Both you and Aether seemed like normal people on the outside, but Aether could easily use Anemo vision and not get affected by the venomous tears of the dragon Dvalin.

And you? You used a different, much more powerful kind of fire than anyone else, wielded a long and heavy spear (something less than 3 people or so did in Mondstadt), and somehow... Understood Teyvat language and Aether's mother tongue without any difficulties even when you weren't from either one of the worlds.

"It's still very strange. Even if It's obvious they are exceptional and strong people, neither Y/N nor Aether seems to be affected by Dvalin's tear..." Jean mumbled curiously from her position near the window, staring sternly at you two as you shuffled closer to Aether to shield him and Paimon. That was, until your attention was taken away by Lisa who circled around you like a predator does to its prey, a finger touching your chin and turning your head to her direction flirtitously with a slight pout.

"Besides, StormsTerror seemed much calm and soft when its eyes landed on our cutie Y/N... I wonder why, have you ever interacted with a dragon before perhaps?"

To be honest, you also didn't have the answer for that. While you were floating up in the air with Aether, cross firing at the vicious dragon to stop it from harming the City....

You felt a sudden sting deep in your heart which threatened to tear you apart when its eyes found yours.

And no, it wasn't because of the glider Amber gifted you weighing on your back, making it harder to breathe since you weren't used to... floating.

It was as if you were hurting a very dear old friend, a family that was once your everything and a part of your soul.

Besides that chest piercing pain you still continued to experience even after that dragon flew away, what was that mysterious voice that helped easing your scared heart as the wind gently caressed your whole body and mostly face, as if phantom fingers rubbed your cheeks and head to map your whole face, and helped you with making StormsTerror leave Mondstadt for some time right after helping Aether with some shitty Mages that appeared out of nowhere?

Don't worry Windblume, I won't let you go. Not this time... Now concentrate and feel the wind in your veins just like you did before...

It was so soft, so loving yet... Also so pained, so hollow as if he missed a great part of him, as if he was trying to make up for a mistake he has done as you felt a sudden surge of power in you, a sweet pain on your back and just like that...

Five Mages were down with a flick of your spear.

"I just hope we didn't make their job harder than before with our presence..." You sighed after a long while, those thoughts still lingering at the back of your head and tapped their heads gently to get them to move since the sun was slowly setting and you needed to go back to the city where Jean kindly prepared a room for you three in the headquarter... After she asked what you needed since you three saved the city.

All of you first declined, but after Paimon and Aether left the room completely, you turned to Jean and with a stern face, asked for only a room which Aether would never have even a speck of information about you asked for it.

Fortunately, she understood your reasoning and with a kind smile, and even more respect growing in her for you, she offered whichever room you wished to have alongside new clothes and three courses of meal and told Aether that it was a "special thank you to the Honarary Knights from the Knights of Fovanius" and to have both of you closer in case of emergency.

Thank her and her brains, no wonder she is the Dandelion Knight and the Acting Grand Master...

"But just as Amber said, the number of hilichurls and Abyss Mages decreased significantly! Paimon wonders if it has something to do with Aether or Y/N!" Paimon exclaimed curiously as she watched you pack up and usher them both to go to their merry way as you turned abruptly, pointing to your chest unbelievingly and looking around.

"Me? Why though?"

She kicked her legs up in the air frustratedly, swiping her palm through the air and showing the nature around her as if it was an obvious fact and you were a fool for not seeing it....

And you trully didn't get it.

Seeing your confusion, Aether chuckled as he lead Paimon to float before you two started bickering again as he started to explain as much as he could.

"They always liked hanging out with you and even protected you... An insane part of me even thinks that they know you're in Mondstadt and therefore, don't want to disturb you since they know you are safe and happy."

Life truly didn't turn out the way Aether had wanted, and probably would never. His life had taken a sharp tune as soon as he and Lumine chose this world to travel next and... All of you knew how it ended.

But now, it wasn't so bad like it used to be months ago. Every day, even every hour, he was met with yet another extraordinary person or habit and it intrigued him a lot. Learning all about the people of Teyvat, what they did for living and their history, hanging out with people... He loved doing all those things, it made him feel like he was back to being the previous Aether before all the chaos happened.

Even though he knew he shouldn't get too attached and form bonds that would be broken in the end inevitably... when he finds his sister and leave the world behind. But maybe... Maybe he could get to bring you and Paimon with himself too? It wasn't like you couldn't, you definitely could land on another world since you were also an Outlander. There was a chance that Paimon couldn't, since he still didn't know of her origins, but he would fight Gods and Archons if he needed, so that he could keep his family together.

His sister, who was the literal half of his soul. Paimon who was always there to help him out and make him enjoy the life Teyvat could offer while guiding him and you... You, who always had tragic yet also comedic stories to tell them from your world whenever they get uncomfortable in some ways. You, who roasted people with your sharp tongue and quick mind, while being a total menace and gremlin, whenever they didn't take no for an answer since Aether didn't want to offend anyone and just did everything they wanted as the "helpful boy" he always was...

or whenever people didn't believe him whenever he said he was probably a lot older than their Archon because of his young, baby face.

Oh yeah... He was very doomed as he already got attached to you and the floating baby you always sweetly called.

"If you can consider being in a city where people worship 'The Champion' that eerily looks like me who fought alongside Barbatos for many times and face a huge statue of the said-champion every day being happy and safe... Then yes, I definitely am!"

Aether snorted at the sarcastic answer he got from you and the dramatic flip of your hair, not being able to help the fake-disappointed shake of his head as he watched you fondly with hands on either sides of his hip.

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Probably bear with me and my awesome self and amazing jokes, and also love me!" You turned around with a gleeful smile, hair floating up and dress swiping through the sudden wind that engulfed you softly and in that moment, he wished that the smile you always had would never disappear.

That you wouldn't loose the happiness and hope blossoming in your eyes with each new day greeting you.

And he thought, whatever strange things revolved around you and the mysteries even you didn't know about yourself...

He would always be there for you, just like you did and will continue to do with him.

You would get to solve all the mysteries and puzzles about just who this "Champion" was and their link to you. Meet and demand answers from that Archon about his sister and the Champion whom he was always depicted together with and maybe... Maybe, at least one of you would be able to get rid of that fog which clouded your memories.

And with that, three of you entered the safety of the walls of the City of Freedom once again... A place where you already started calling "home".

Unaware of what was waiting for your group in the headquarters.

[ozzgin]

So I was wondering how Lisa Lisa, Caesar, and Joseph react to accidentally awakening Pillar woman reader( who is EXTRA Buff) . And while the three of them think Reader’s a threat, the reality she’s just a gentle giantess. And just pats Joseph head, and doesn’t seem to understand that they’re humans per say, but thinks their younger Pillar men?

Love the idea! After writing the Baki x JoJo crossover my mind has wandered to a Pillar Woman, too. A proper one. I also played around with Midjourney to see if I could get a glimpse at a potential Pillar Woman, and it’s not as muscular as I would’ve wished but it looks interesting nonetheless.

JJBA Headcanons: Pillar Woman! Reader

Featuring Lisa Lisa, Caesar, Joseph, and an awakened Pillar Woman that’s not as threatening as her male counterpart.

Joseph and Caesar are not only irritated by each other’s company, but by the sheer pointlessness of this task that has interrupted their training. Three Pillar Men have emerged from this site and fiddling around unturned stones only serves in delaying their fight. Their whines are quickly silenced by Lisa Lisa’s orders to continue their search. If they have time to moan, they have time to look for clues. The UV lights have long been discarded after the gory incident, so the narrow rays of flashlights only add to their frustration.

A faint sound catches their attention and they simultaneously turn towards a pillar at the end of the chamber. “Is that an unfinished sculpture or something?” Caesar ponders as he gazes as the bizarre block of stone with a vaguely chiseled arm protruding out of it. “I can’t believe this. I should be perfecting my deadly moves and here I am listening to your art commentary instead. Should we have a little séance session so you can ask them directly?” Joseph responds in a mocking tone. Their bickering continues under the scolding glares of the woman supervising them.

Her sigh of annoyance is abruptly drowned by the loud cracks of collapsing rubble. The bulky pillar seems to be disintegrating and they quickly cover their faces, scrambling to avoid the thick clouds of dust rapidly flooding the room. Once the smoke clears out, their faces twist in shock at the sight of yet another Pillar person that has somehow evaded the previous investigations. Although this one seems to be a woman.

The group is taken aback by the colossal size of this specimen. She’s significantly larger than all the Pillar Men they have encountered, with impressive muscular mass. Joseph and Caesar have already positioned themselves in strategic fighting stances and Lisa Lisa bites her lower lip, stressed by the unexpected encounter. They haven’t managed to lay a finger on the original Pillar Men. Would they stand a chance against this behemoth of a creature?

You stretch your limbs and lazily scan the area. How long has it been since you’ve gone to sleep? You don’t recognize a single thing. The humans before you are small are slender. Children? You’re not quite sure. You hear them mumble among themselves and you realize it’s a language foreign to you, although you quickly pick up the vocabulary. You approach Joseph and place your large hand on his head, trying to reassure the young boy of his safety. “Are your parents nearby? Perhaps they could explain my situation better.” You state in a soft voice. Caesar cannot help the laugh that erupts out of him, having to rest on his knees to manage the convulsions. Joseph barks at him, annoyed and embarrassed, and politely removes your hand, explaining he’s a grown man. You can only stare in shock.

Once it is confirmed that you are indeed no threat, Lisa Lisa describes the recent events to you. You listen intently, arms crossed. You don’t particularly care for humans, but you don’t like the cockiness displayed by the awakened Pillar Men, nor their supposed intentions. In your current state, you could use some entertainment. You might as well lend a hand to the amusing individuals that found you.

[oppaspearl]

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙨 𝙊𝙛 𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 (𝙆𝙈𝙂)

Pairing: Idol!Mingyu x Non!Idol reader Genre: heavy angst.  Summary: It's time for him to throw his mask off. Words count: 14,009

PART I | PART II

Six Months after your departure Nine months after your break up.

“Why did you not answer my texts?” 

Minyu let out a sigh as he just opened the door of his parents ' house and was greeted by Minseo. It was in the middle of spring when Mingyu decided to go back to his family's house and spend his day off with them. These couple of days have been tiring for Mingyu, especially when he just wraps the world tour and Pledis has given Seventeen some days off before they prepare for the awarding schedule. 

While Lisa was on tour and rather than spend another sad day alone in his apartment, Mingyu decided to spend his days off with his family since it had been such a long time. Even though Mingyu always keeps in touch with his parents through online chat, Mingyu just needs the warmth of being at home with his family. 

He missed it. 

He missed them.

Standing not too far away from him with a hair roller in her bangs, Minseo looks at his brother who just looking very tired. Her eyes scanned him from head to toe while Mingyu stood not too far away from him with open arms. Minseo knows that her brother is handsome, but Mingseo also knows that her brother is more than tired. She can see it pretty clearly from the bag under his eyes, how his cheeks have gone a little bit thinner, and how his hair got longer than the last time she met him. Among the little things that Minseo noticed, Minseo could see pretty clearly how his eyes screamed the longing for something. 

Something that Minseo knows very well.

Without another bickering, Minseo sighs and walks towards her brother before giving him a tight hug. The smell of Mingyu’s perfume was very clear on her nose as Minseo buries herself into her brother's jacket. She can feel his long arms wrap into her body and he puts his chin on top of her head. Besides the fact that Mingyu’s hair was longer than before, Minseo also noticed that her brother was bulking which made her warmer than before. 

“Yah, next time answer my text, will you?” Minseo asks with her voice muffled by his jacket. 

Mingyu nods his head. “Hm, sorry, I was driving, remember?”

“Arra,” Minseo nods, pulling her head from Mingyu’s chest to look straight into his eyes without breaking the hug. “Mom is in her nap, but she cooked lunch for you, have you eaten?”

“Not yet, eat with me?” Mingyu smirks. 

“I already have lunch with Dad,” Minseo replies. After the sentences left her mouth, Minseo could see that Mingyu’s gaze changes to something like… disappointment? The changes in Mingyu’s gaze made Minseo frown softly. But not even until five seconds later, the frown on her forehead went away as she understood the unspoken reason from Mingyu. Minseo then let out a soft sigh before brushing his hair from his forehead and said, “But I can accompany you at least?” 

Hearing his younger sister made Mingyu grin which resulted in Minseo rolling her eyes at him playfully and breaking the hug. Minseo can see how Mingyu’s eyes lit up with happiness after she agreed to accompany him to have lunch. But Minseo also cannot lie that her heart aches as she realizes that something has changed in her brother. 

She knows very well that her brother is hiding something from her. 

“Where’s appa?” Mingyu asks as they walk into the living room with his suitcase in his grip. 

“He went out fishing with his friend,” Minseo answers from the kitchen, as she takes a bowl for her brother who now sits on the dining chair. “He will be back on four, I guess.” 

Mingyu nods his head, opening some food containers in front of him. “Good thing he went with his friend, other than Minghao.”

“What happened if appa went fishing with Minghao oppa?” Minseo asks, handing the bowl to Mingyu. 

“Thanks,” Mingyu mutters and accepts the bowl that is already filled with brown rice. “His son is already gone home, but he chooses to go with his son's groupmate… It’s totally so weird.” 

Minseo snorts. “Maybe you should take a break more often and go with the old man,” 

“I wish I could,” Mingyu sighed and looked up at Minseo who was staring at him with an unexplainable gaze. She was sitting right in front of him, looking up to see her brother who was just about to have lunch that their mother made. 

If Minseo can be brutally honest with her brother, the only thing that she wants to do since three months ago is to punch him in the face and tell him to make up his mind again. But then as time goes by and Mingyu sitting right in front of her, Minseo can see that he already realized it. Which was supposed to be good right? 

Maybe three months ago, Minseo would just be saying, “Enjoy your karma for choosing the wrong person, and look you now waiting for her to be back–to love you like the old times.” 

But now? All Minseo can see is a drastic change from her brother. Even when the moment he steps into their house, Minseo can see the difference. Among Mingyu's friends, Minseo was also one of the people who witnessed so much love between two people. She was also the one who listened to Mingyu’s rambling about you, and how he fell in love with you. Looking back, Minseo was sick enough to see how her brother was crazy over you. 

So when Mingyu texts her about the break-up, Minseo is the first one to feel a great loss. 

Minseo was grown up with an older brother, and parents. Not that Mingyu was not a good brother, he is indeed a very good and caring brother that she always has. The brother that her friends always talk about and wish to have. Minseo was lucky to have Mingyu as her brother. 

However, deep down in her heart, Minseo was always missing an older sister role. 

It’s not that she can’t talk about her problem with Mingyu, but sometimes she also needs a sister that will give her a new perspective with a more inclusive approach. Yes, she can have a girl talk with her mother or her friends. But then as Minseo and her mother get older, she realizes that not every topic can be spoken about because again she just didn’t want her mother to be worried. On the other side, Minseo also cannot tell her friends the way it is, because she knows not everyone has the genuine intention of being friends with her. 

With you coming into her life and how you can listen to her problem, Minseo feels like she has the sister that she always prays about. Mingyu dates a lot of girls with pretty faces, but you are a different story from them. For Minseo, you are one of the beautiful girls who not only has a good appearance but also a very good attitude and listener. You are also very calm and yet independent, which Minseo realizes that it was one of the things that made you more beautiful than any girls that Mingyu dated in the past. 

“Are you okay?” Mingyu snaps Minseo to reality. 

Minseo straightens her position and nods, “Gwenchana,” 

“Are you sure?” Mingyu asks again. “You seem to have something on your mind,” 

“Just some work and college stuff,” Minseo gave him an assuring smile. “You should eat more, Eomma cooked your favorites.” 

Mingyu just looks at his sister with a pure blank expression. His eyes focus on how Minseo put some food in his bowls with a soft smile on her lips. Mingyu knows that the current things on Minseo's mind as she sits in front of him, are not about her work or even her college life. 

It was similar to what Mingyu had on his mind for these past months. 

“Minseo-ah,” Mingyu put down his chopsticks and sighs. “I’m sorry.” 

Minseo stopped what she doing, but her gaze was not focusing on Mingyu. She just looks down at the table because she can feel tears flowing in her eyes and the last thing she wants to happen is to cry in front of Mingyu. So then, she braves herself up and blinks her tears up then looks at Mingyu. 

“What do you mean?” Minseo frowns. “Minseo-ah, you know what I mean,” Mingyu spoke slowly before looking down. Even without asking, Minseo knows that Mingyu is currently trying hard to not cry in front of her. Watching that view in front of her made Minseo’s heart break a little. For the first time in her life, Minseo watches how fragile Mingyu is with her own eyes. 

The golden retriever brother was long gone. 

“Oppa,” Minseo sighs and holds his hands that were on the table. The warm hand of her on his cold one makes Mingyu look up at Minseo. “Gwenchana, you got me, okay?” 

“But–”

“Don’t,” Minseo shakes her head, cutting off Mingyu's sentence. “We can talk later about it once you feel ready, for now just… take a rest.” 

Mingyu sighed and tightened his hold on her hand. With a small smile on his lips and eyes on hers Mingyu mutters a soft thank you at her.

Nodding her head at her brother, Minseo smiles and takes some food for him. Her eyes were back on him, watching the man eating the lunches that their mother made. A lot of curses that were waiting to be pulled out of her mouth suddenly just disappear as Minseo watches her brother closely. 

Despite the biggest mistake that Mingyu has made in his life, Minseo can help it by wanting to hug him tight, telling him that he has her and that it is time for him to forgive himself. 

But now the important thing for Minseo is to see him back home after he lost it months ago. 

Hectic. 

The one word that can describe how your life in New York for the past couple of months. Meetings, classes, online meetings, classes, tests, community gatherings, adaptation, and many more were the things that occupied you starting three days after you landed. Not that you didn’t expect there will be an easy life once you land in the city that always becomes on your wishlist to live in, but to be true you feel like everything happened so fast. 

Faster than you thought. 

Everyone in the world knows that New York City is one of the busiest cities in the world, besides Seoul. There were no days for you to finally have your mind calm without thinking about the tasks for tomorrow. On the bright side, you still can enjoy your weekend even if it was from your apartment or even going for brunch with your friends. But still, you missed the day off that made you didn’t feel anxious as you rested yourself and didn’t do anything for a whole or even two days in a row. 

By the fourth month of your stay in New York, you could say that you already made some progress and even in the past you will be shocked when you find out how big the progress was. At your new workplace, the team respected you and thankfully you get along with most of the employees very well. You also feel very lucky to have such an amazing, caring, and hard-working team to lead even when most of the team is younger than you. The work environment is also very good and supportive, which you couldn’t ask for better than you have here. Shortly, you could say that your new workplace slowly becomes like your home. 

The same thing goes with your uni life. Working and becoming a student at the same time was never an easy task, but somehow you wanted to become one of them since you entered undergraduate school. What made this time different than the first one, was probably because of your experience before and also the environment. Most of your uni friends are the same as you, who work eight to seven for five days, having some corporate issues to be solved while also having some uni projects that also running. They are also very helpful and supportive, which you are grateful for. 

Deep down, you let yourself enjoy that kind of hectic although you have to listen to Suhoon grumble on the phone every night telling you that you need to loosen up since he realized that you grow busier every day. 

“Have a rest on the weekend, take a stroll in Central Park, have a pizza in Brooklyn as we used to, I don’t care, but please just don’t drown yourself for work on the weekend.” 

That is what he always said to you on the phone every Friday as you walked back to your apartment from your office. Even when you and he have separated a thousand miles away from each other and not forgetting the time difference between Seoul and New York, Suhoon never missed his shot to scold you for working on the weekend. Sometimes, you realize that he slowly acts like your parents and your brother. 

Suhoon may know you very well, but one thing he doesn't know is how easy it is for you to lie to him every weekend. Enjoying a quiet breakfast in Central Park? Watching one of the shows on Broadway? or enjoying a quiet night at the Met Museum? those are just plans that you want to do.

you didn't do it all.

In fact, on Saturday and Sunday mornings you prefer to enjoy your breakfast by looking at the view of Central Park from inside your apartment. With classical music echoing throughout your apartment, you sometimes wonder how Suhoon will react to your lies all along. There are no quiet nights at the Met Museum, there are only you in front of your computer screen, working on documents that you can actually work on for the next week or two.

The point is, you always keep doing your job because that's all you can do to escape everything.

Run from his shadow.

Piles of documents, college projects, and everything is just your escape and will always be your escape. At least until he's completely out of your mind. Fortunately, no one knows about it except you.

Talking about Suhoon, of course, you can't tell him about this. God, you are sure that this man will immediately buy a plane ticket and be at your apartment door when you just wake up if he finds out. You don't want to disturb them, you don't want to disturb their very busy lives just because of your obvious love problems that have run aground and can't be fought for.

There were times when you thought that Suhoon might know everything, but in fact, your lies tricked him.

Your lies managed to fool everyone, except yourself.

You can't lie and hide the fact that you often think about him. You see him from time to time on your computer screen, and sometimes you see his face from one of your team members and they give a weekly report presentation. From what you can see, he looks healthier, bulkier, and of course that face.. that handsome face that sometimes accompanies you in dreams on some nights. He is even more handsome with his new haircut, his hair is now black. The hair that you usually comb with your fingers when you're hugging each other in the cold of the night.

Maybe your decision to go to New York was a brave enough thing, but after seeing him quite happy with what he has now, you realize that you have made the right decision.

For him and yourself.

And that's what's on your mind while your eyes are glued to the view of the fountain that is in front of you at that time. Under the crescent moon and towering buildings, you sat in one of the chairs with a cup of hot chocolate in your hand.

Among the crowd who are busy with their activities, you choose to sit alone. On a cold Friday night and after spending time in your college library, you decide to sit in Bryant Park. The warmth that comes from the hot chocolate that you hold and the black coat that you wear is enough to accompany you in the middle of this cold night. At least that's what you tell yourself.

Exactly on the same day today, you set foot for the first time in New York with lots of hopes and wounds that you can't even express in words. For people who are new to you, they might think that you are very happy to move to New York. Getting a scholarship to NYU, owning an apartment overlooking the Central Park scene, getting promoted as Digital Communications Manager from one of New York's top PR agencies, and you name it.

You are happy.

Of course, you are happy. After working hard for several years, you finally got what you always wanted. You worked hard all this time to get it, even though in the end you have to be brave enough to get hurt.

It's not his fault, but you also know it's not your fault. But all this is only a matter of time. Opportunity comes to you when he also gets a second chance to love the person he has loved so far. If you just look deeper, this is an opportunity that benefits both of you. However, in the end, you have to accept the consequence, namely losing it.

But isn't it all worth it?

You lost it, but you got what you wanted all along. He lost you, but he will also get what he wanted all along. In the end, you both lose each other and get what you want.

It might hurt a little, but you know that it will hurt you a lot more if you hold it in a little longer and live in the illusion you two created to keep you together. An illusion that will pull you deeper into the pain. How can you live amid that illusion when you know how it will all end?

Your thoughts were resolved when you felt your cell phone in your bag start to vibrate and made you carefully place the cup you were holding next to you.

With the phone still vibrating, you realize that someone has called you. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself to hear Suhoon nagging. It's time for Suhoon to call you, even though you also ask why he has to call you in the morning in the South Korean time zone.

Instead of seeing Suhoon as your caller, your eyes read a familiar name. That person called you after weeks of silence. It was very strange for you because you knew he was preparing for his return and you knew that the preparations took quite a long time so you didn't expect to get a call from him.

Your mind immediately runs in all directions.

Did he call you because something happened?

Your body begins to shake slowly while your mind tries to mentally prepare you for what is about to happen. Your thumb is right above the screen of your phone as if hesitating to pick up the call. In the midst of your confusion, you decide to accept the call. Take a deep breath, then hold your phone to your ear while closing your eyes to be ready for what will happen next.

“Yeoboseyo?”

Your voice is low, too low for someone whose heart is beating fast. You don't understand why you have to be this scared, but all you can do is hope that everything is okay.

“Anyeong, YN-ah,” his hoarse voice greets your ears for the first time in weeks. His voice is still the same, but the volume of the way he greets you on the other side is much bigger than a while ago. You open your eyes slowly. Your back which was previously in an upright position then rests on the chair you are sitting on. Breathe out of your mouth slowly.

He is at home.

Luckily.

“Yeoboseyo?” he asks again when you didn't return his first greeting. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," you nod your head as if he was around you even though he was thousands of kilometers from your current position. But you don't care about that, you care more about him who is on the other side of the world. 

"It's me," he says before sighing. "I'm sorry I haven't updated you in a few weeks—"

"I know you're busy preparing for a comeback, oppa," you say, cutting him off. "You don't need to apologize." “Still, I want to apologize.”  the man sighs then asks, "How's New York?"

With a snort, you then reply to him, “You just called me in–what? Seven in the morning–to ask about New York?” 

“YAH! I’m being serious here,” he grumbles. 

“New York is fine,” you reply with a small smile on your lips. "You don't have to worry about New York, it's still bustling."

"I know that," he chuckled. But his laugh only lasts for a moment, indicating he will ask a question that you know very well will be directed at you. "How are you tho?"

"I'm busy," plainly, you said.

"Seems the same as the last time I asked you,"

"I know," now it's your turn to sigh. But unlike him, you sighed as if you had found peace. Although it is not. "I just wanted to let you know I'm busy."

"All right, it's up to you," he said. "If your busy life makes you happy, then I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." There was a moment of silence between you. Maybe there he is considering what to ask you next. However, you are here just transfixed by the view of the buildings in front of you while holding back your tears from falling.

It's a good thing he's not near you at the moment.

“YN,” he calls your name, making you blink. "You don't have to lie to me, you know that?"

Shit, he knows it.

"You know you can tell me, whatever you feel, how many times do I have to remind you of that?" Even though his voice is low, you can tell that he's a little irritated by your attitude. But even though there was a sense of annoyance contained in him, he still tried to hold back his emotions. “I know,” you silently let out a groan. “But seriously, I’m pretty busy these days.” “Wait, are you even already at home right now?” he asks. 

Again, you shake your head, but then you remember that he is not around you. “No, but I just got back from the last class for this week.” “Where are you now?” “In the park,” “New York has a lot of parks, you know?”

You sigh. “Bryant, I’m at Bryant Park now, Happy?” 

“Kind of,” He chuckles a little bit. “You should take me there time, I’ve been dying to have a picnic in New York parks.” 

“You rarely do picnics when you are in Seoul,” you point out, smirking like you were challenging him. “And for your information when people go to picnic, they have coffee or even some food that is easy to bring, not soju.” 

“Hey, my love for soju is unlimited!” he bickers on the other side, causing you to let out a small laugh. “Besides, soju is suitable for every situation, including a picnic.” 

“For you, yes it is,” You sigh. “For the rest of us? We’ll pass.” 

“Let’s stop talking about my love for Soju,” He sighs. "By the way, why aren't you sleeping? Isn't it already eleven o'clock in the evening there?"

You shake your head. “I've been wanting to go to the park since morning, to clear my head. How about you, shouldn't you be preparing for the recording session?”

"How did you know?" he asks in surprise.

"Well, in case you forgot I'm still taking care of some PR activities for your group, you know that?"

“That's true,” he replies curtly. “Actually we are on holiday at the moment.”

With surprise, you then raise your eyebrow at his response. It shocked you because for all this time, exactly after spending almost five years as their PR, they rarely took off days at their comeback preparation. You know how tiring the process of the comeback preparations is, but you are also wondering what made them decide to take days off in the preparation timeline. 

It also made you wonder about him too. 

“Oppa,” you call him softly. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“You know damn well you can, YN-ah.” 

“Is he okay?” you take a deep breath as you can feel tears in your eyes. "Is he… happy?"

The question just came out of your mouth, without a signal as if your brain was talking. You don't even know why you're asking that crazy question. Shouldn't you be asking about it again?

"YN," he said your name in a tone that seemed to give you a warning. A warning that your question could open old wounds, or even worse, open new pages of wounds.

"Am I not allowed to know?" you ask.

Again, you don't understand why you are so brave.

“I think.. he tries to be okay and happy,” he sighs slowly and you know that he doesn’t want to explain the next thing that will leave his mouth soon. “I think it’ll be better if you know by yourself, you know? But if you are ready for it.” 

You remain silent. 

You're completely speechless. He's right, at least you have to know directly without any intermediaries. But the question is are you ready? Are you ready to open communication with him? Are you ready to hear his familiar hoarse voice that you have missed for the past few months?

You and yourself know very well that now is not the right time to do it. Right now you have to be the one who stands far from him, watching him live happily with someone who also makes him happy—with someone he has wanted for a long time.

But as easy as turning the palm of his hand, the man who is still on the other side, knows what you are thinking. This leads him to say, “I guess what I want to say is that you deserve your healing time, you’ve been through a lot for the past months. Heck, I don't even know what to do if I were you–I may be in the streets now, crying my ass off and drinking nonstop. It may be hard for you because I know you are still thinking about him too and I know damn well how much your love is still for him. Forgive yourself, forgive everything that has been done, and please live happily, so that you can make yourself happy because you deserve to be happy after a long journey. Your time to let go of everything has started since you left Korea, YN, and I know that you can go back stronger, arra?” 

Without you noticing, your cheek has been wet due to your tears. You cry because what the man said was true. You still think about him, but you also did not be fair to yourself who was still wounded. Working for fifteen hours a day, drowning yourself in tight and busy schedules, you realize that you have never actually been kinder to yourself. You are still blaming yourself for losing the one that you love. 

“Don’t cry,” the man says like he can see you now. “It’s seven in the morning here, and I don’t want to be a sad boy today.” 

You just smile as the tease then nod your head again to your phone. “Sorry.” 

“No need to be sorry, I’m the one who should apologize for pulling that joke.” he chuckles a little bit. “It’s okay to cry, YN. I guess it has been hard, for the past few days?” 

“Kind of,” 

The man hums. “You’ve been doing enough, okay? Stop pushing on yourself too hard, take a rest, and please-pretty please-make yourself happy, arra?”

“I’ll try, oppa.” you sigh softly. “But–” 

“No, buts.” the man cut you off. “Forgive yourself, okay? Take days off and have a rest, do something you like or you want to do. You are in New York, for fuck sake, the city of everything. It’s time to be kinder to yourself.” 

Hearing the man's speech makes you smile wider. He has always been like this besides Suhoon and you realized that is what makes you miss him for his absents in the past few weeks. But you also know that what he just said, is true. It’s time to be kinder to yourself.

“Okay,” 

“I just spoke more than five paragraphs, and you just said okay? I can’t believe you,” 

This time you laugh. “Okay, I’ll do it like what you said.” “Good, because I’ll visit you soon so I hope I see your happy face, arra?” 

Hearing that he will visit you anytime soon, your eyes automatically widen. “Jinja? When?” 

“Probably at the end of this month,” he replies. “I’m bringing two friends who won't wait to see you,” 

“Seems I know who is it.” your smirk. “Give me a spoiler, will you?” 

Even not around him, you know that the man currently rolling his eyes at you. “Fine, it’s Joshua, you know I need a translator when I go shopping later.” “You have me,” “I’ll spend two weeks in New York, which means I have ten weekdays and two weekends, I don’t want to disturb you,” he explains. “I also don’t want to wait for you to get shopping, so I’ll bring him.” 

You smile. “Make sense,” 

“I know,” he chuckles. “And YN?” 

You just hum to respond to his calls. 

“Kkuma is also coming with me too,” 

“YAAAH JINJAA?!” 

That day Anyang was noticeably colder for a spring day.

For some reason the wind today felt stronger, causing lots of fallen leaves to fly around aimlessly. However, the strong wind that day did not dampen the enthusiasm of many people for the weekend. Under the night sky, some people spent their time in the park whether it was spending time with their loved ones or even jogging.

Who can usually jog at night with this strong wind?

That thought floated in Mingyu's mind when his eyes caught sight of someone jogging from the balcony of his room. But if you think about it, why did Mingyu decide to finish his bottle of beer on the balcony of his room even though the wind was quite strong outside?

There is only one answer to that.

Mingyu just wanted to stop all the arguing in his mind. At least just for tonight.

Spending time with his family from the morning does make him feel more alive, but it's times like this when he's alone again arguing and those thoughts come back. The disappointment in him was immense and he couldn't stop it. More precisely, Mingyu felt it was the right thing for a jerk like him.

Mingyu misses you more than anything he wants in this world.

But Mingyu also loves Lisa.

Right?

Mingyu loves Lisa and... you?

He knew it was wrong not to be able to choose the one he loved. Mingyu first knew Lisa and long before you came he fell in love with her. They fall in love with each other. Then you came into Mingyu's life as a foreigner who has responsibility for his group.

Mingyu remembers very well how you kept your distance from him. You do talk to him, you two are then fairly close as work colleagues. But your closeness is still far away when compared to your closeness and that of several other members such as Minghao, Seungcheol, Joshua, and Dino. Mingyu feels that when you're with them, you can laugh a lot more and talk about things he doesn't talk about. He's even quite surprised when he finds out that you often spend time with some of his members, whether it's buying coffee together, going out to dinner, or watching movies together.

On the one hand, Mingyu feels that his relationship with Lisa is a bit strained. Mingyu and Lisa's schedules always crash date schedules that are often canceled suddenly due to comeback preparations, and Lisa whose name is becoming more and more famous as time goes by. Mingyu still loves Lisa, and he will still love Lisa, but he also really misses her presence. Mingyu misses the warmth that he always got from Lisa whether it's from her arms or even from how he acts towards Mingyu because that's what made Mingyu fall in love with Lisa. Her personality, their similar, to the other little things from Lisa.

The decision of the two of them to end their relationship was an easy decision based on the results of the discussion between the two of them.

Nothing is holding one back from fighting between the two. They believe that maybe now is not the right time for them to have a relationship as lovers. Mingyu is of course sad and a little disappointed by what happened. But that feeling then slowly disappears as he often starts spending a lot of time with you.

Mingyu didn't expect it.

Of course, he didn't expect it since we're talking about you here. Everyone who works has a high professionalism ethic, but for Mingyu there is something different about you. You're cold, but at the same time, you're one of the nicest people to everyone. More precisely, you care about your surroundings but you also don't hesitate to look cold.

But as many people say, eventually the ice cubes will melt if someone heats them. As time goes by, you and Mingyu start spending time together. Mingyu saw that you were starting to work up the courage to open yourself up to him over time. And, at that time, it wasn't only you who dared to open up yourself, but Mingyu too.

Mingyu only realized it when Seungcheol said that he noticed a difference from Mingyu after the end of his relationship with Lisa. The difference that Seungcheol meant was Mingyu's sad look which then turned into a look full of comfort when you stepped into the room. Seungcheol isn't a leader for nothing without his power to find out what happened to one of his members within seconds. At that moment, Seungcheol knew that Mingyu had found the warmth that had just disappeared.

Yes, comfort and warmth from you.

It was hard to admit at the time, but at the end of this cold night, Mingyu realized that what Seungcheol said was true and unfortunately Mingyu has lost that warmth now. It's funny to think back on how Mingyu made sure many times to Seungcheol about his feelings for you. Mingyu knows Seungcheol, really knows him. Just as Seungcheol could easily tell what was going on with him, Mingyu could also see the warmth and comfort in Seungcheol's eyes.

It took the same fifty questions for Mingyu to confirm Seungcheol's feelings for you. Fifty times the question then resulted in the fact that Seungcheol was dating one of his old friends and of course that surprised and relieved Mingyu at the same time. Mingyu was surprised because all this time Seungcheol kept his relationship a secret so neatly that Mingyu didn't know about this fact.

Mingyu is also relieved because it means he has a chance to be with you, as more than a friend.

The sound of the door opening tore all of Mingyu's thoughts.

Spontaneously, his head that was facing the view of the buildings now turned back to see who would join him. Right behind him, Minseo stood with a cup in her hand even though she was already wearing her cute pajamas.

"May I join you?" Minseo while closing the door with her foot.

Mingyu nods then frowns, "Of course, but why aren't you sleeping yet?"

"I can't sleep," Minseo replies while sitting in front of her brother. Now the scent of camomile tea wafts through Mingyu's nose as Minseo puts her cup on the table. The steam from the tea then accompanied them both. "What happened to you?"

"Huh?"

"Why aren't you sleeping yet?" Minseo asks. "And why are you drinking outside? It’s pretty cold here.” 

A sigh left Mingyu’s mouth then he leaned his chin to his hand. “Just feel like to,” "Why aren't you sleeping yet?" Minseo asked after they were struck by silence for a few minutes.

Mingyu's finger which was playing with the top of the beer bottle stopped slowly before he finally answered, "I can't sleep, what about you?"

"Same," Minseo replied then folded her arms in front of her chest. "Looks like I had too much caffeine this morning."

“You always drink too much caffeine,” Mingyu said with a crooked smile.

"Said people who can drink americano three times in one day." 

Mingyu who heard what she said just chirped. "Well! I need some caffeine to get to the gym!”

"I also need caffeine to live, in case you forgot."

"No, I haven't forgotten because you still need me instead of your caffeine."

Minseo who was in front of him just rolled his eyes and then snorted after hearing that sentence come out of his own brother's mouth. What he did then made Mingyu chuckle, shook his head, then took a sip of the half-bottle of beer. Mingyu's brown eyes now looked at the scene behind his younger brother. Even though the night wind was starting to get strong on the back of his neck, somehow Mingyu at least felt calm.

The peace he missed.

Meanwhile, Minseo, who was sitting across from Mingyu, was now looking at his older brother intently. Mingyu's hair is now long, even if Minseok remembers it, it's currently the longest hair his older brother has ever had. Minseok is reluctant to say it but at least his brother still looks handsome. His body also looks bigger than before. It makes his body look dashing with muscles that are starting to form. His shoulders are getting wider.

Now Minseo understands why many of his close friends have started asking about his older brother. Even though some of Minseo's friends have beautiful physiques, the girl is still reluctant to introduce her brother to them.

No, it wasn't that he didn't trust his close friend.

More precisely, Minseo knows that right now his brother is still confused with a big dilemma. The dilemma that made Mingyu a little away from Minseo in the last few months.

The dilemma finally made Mingyu lose his home.

“Oppa,” Mingyu glanced at Minseo who now her gaze fell on her hands on the table. "I have a confession for you"

"What confession?" Mingyu asked with a mischievous smile. "If you say I'm more handsome than the person you like, keep it, I already know that."

“I'm serious,” Minseo glanced at Mingyu. "I think it's time you knew about this."

"Okay, tell me."

"Me and Seungcheol went to meet YN unnie at the airport at that time,"

Not more than ten seconds after the sentence left Minseo's mouth, Mingyu's shoulders immediately fell limp slowly. Minseo who was in front of Mingyu was still reluctant to make eye contact with him. Without having to raise her head and look straight into her brother's eyes, Minseo knows that what she just said will bring a long silence between the two.

With a long and slow breath, Minseo straightened her sitting position. Her hands are now resting with her elbows on the table. Mingyu was speechless. It's like a dry wound being doused again with alcohol. Did he feel… confused? angry? Annoyed? Mingyu honestly didn't know if he couldn't tell the difference between all of them, but after those words came out of his sister's mouth, his body and mind immediately froze.

"I know I should be able to give you a warning that she's leaving," Minseok continues, still looking down and doing her best to avoid her brother's eyes. “I know that I should have told you about everything before her departure, giving you the chance to see her even for the last time. I'm sorry, oppa."

Minseo now looked up and looked at Mingyu with two eyes full of tears. She couldn't help it, the guilt was big enough and it continued to grow with time. The blame then grew again with her seeing the changes that had happened to his older brother. Minseok isn't a kid anymore, she's old enough to understand issues from any point of view. And it doesn't take much maturity for Minseo to know what happened to Mingyu.

Everything about Mingyu is visible to Minseo. Even though his physique is far from messy, Minseo knows clearly that Mingyu is currently less than fine. Today as her brother visited her and their family, all her thought about him was right. By starters, his gaze was different like it lacking of something. Second, Mingyu was quieter than usual although they had a conversation after his lunch, but still, it felt like he pulling himself for her. Third, Mingyu avoids his parents’ questions about you which leads Minseo to tell their parents (in secret) that you have been caught at work. Lastly, Mingyu was caught busy with his thoughts at the family dinner earlier which was rarely to happen. Also, Mingyu has been avoiding Minseo for the last few months.

Minseo knows everything. 

Without her having to ask Mingyu what's wrong with him. How many times he tried to hide it from her, Minseo can tell right away. 

In the meantime, Mingyu just lowers his head and avoids meeting his sister’s gaze. Mingyu couldn't lie that what his younger sister had just said was something easy for him to accept. Because in fact, Mingyu tried his best to sound okay even though right now his heart and mind were screaming aimlessly and full of anger and confusion.

“It's not your fault,” Mingyu said slowly.  “I understand why you did it and I would have done the same thing if I were also in your position."

“…”

"Can I ask about something?"

Minseok nods her head. "Of course,"

“Is she…” Mingyu sighed and then blinked his eyes as he felt that the tears starting to well up. Inside his mind, Mingyu seemed to be saying to himself that right now is the right time to let down all his ego in front of his little sister—one of the people he trusted to tell his feelings apart from his parents.

It’s the right time for him to take off the mask he had been using for the last few months.

As if understanding her brother's intention, Minseo nods her head slowly then she holds her brother's hand which was also placed on the table right in front of her. Minseo knows that her brother is crying and that is not a problem at all for her because she knows how long he has been keeping it up by himself. 

“She was trying… to accept and adjust her life with what happened,” Minseo answered. "Same with you now. It’s also been a hard time for her, and I know it even though she tries so hard to cover it up in front of me."

After finishing saying that sentence, Minseo then heard a sound of sobbing that was soft enough to make her look up and see Mingyu's shaking shoulders. Minseo's eyes were now glued on the scene in front of her. She could even feel Mingyu's hands shaking as he cried.

“I know what's going on,” Minseok begins. “I'm not going to judge you, but I also can't defend you for what you've done because I know how deeply you two love each other. To be honest, I also don't understand why you prefer someone from your past when you've already gotten the person you deserve all along. But if your choice makes you happy…” Minseok sighed. "Then I'm happy for you."

Silence enveloped both of them again.

This time it wasn't an awkward silence, but one where they understood each other and what was going on. Mingyu still bowed his head, drowned by the words of his younger brother and also his tears. Everyone knows that Minseo is the last person who will judge Mingyu for all the decisions he has made, but Mingyu also can't lie that he feels disappointed with how Minseo explained her views. Because just like Minseo, Mingyu was also disappointed in himself and the decisions he made.

"You still love her to this day, aren’t you, oppa?"

Actually, without having to ask this question, Minseo knew the answer very well. As easy as turning a hand, Minseo easily knows the answer just by looking into Mingyu's eyes. It doesn't take many words to describe it and it doesn’t take a long time for Mingyu to explain to her, because Minseo knows very well that Mingyu still loves you.

He loves you very much to this day. 

"I also know that you still care about Lisa," Minseo smiled sadly before she continued. "But don’t you think that all of this is also unfair to her? Yes, you choose her and you are here with her now, but oppa..  we both know who is the person that your heart wants now and it’s not her.” Again, there is no answer from Mingyu as he still drowning in his thoughts, thinking about what Minseo just said. 

Minseo sighs. “Now, I just want you to ask yourself a question, do you love her? Or are you falling in love with the idea of her not being alone and you can always be there for her?” 

“I don’t know,” Mingyu opens his mouth to speak and looks up from his lap. In front of her, Minseo can see how red Mingyu's eyes are. There is no rainbow that she can find in his gaze, there is just a big storm and dark clouds. “I-I just want her to be okay–to be happy because I will be too if she is..” 

“Then you have to let go YN, oppa.” 

“I can’t,”

Minseo frowns softly. “Why?” 

“I just…” Mingyu shakes his head, as tears come down his cheeks again. “I just can’t do that, Minseo-ah.” 

“You have to, oppa, you hurting yourself and Lisa if you keep doing this.” 

“I can’t, okay?” Minseo can hear how trembling his deep voice is even as he still lowers his eyes. The deep voice seemed to be shrouded with a thick layer of fear and despair. “I still love her, Minseo-ah, I always will love her.” 

“You love her, but still you did not choose her at first,” Minseo sighs. “Isn’t that already too late, oppa? You let go of her first by choosing Lisa and did not fight back for her when she called everything off. She let you go because she loves you even when she knows that she can no longer be your happiness. If you really love her, you wouldn’t be here now, not in this situation, and neither could she.” 

“I know,” Mingyu nods slowly. “But I can’t, I just… I know it’s all my fault. I know that I should have stopped her at the moment when she turned her back on me for the last time, I know that I should have asked her for forgiveness instead of being silent when she called it off, and I know very well that I should have chosen her before I make my decision.  I know I’m too late to realize all of this, and if there is any chance that I can take to be with her again, to apologize over and over again at her, to have that chance to let her know that I love her so much, I’ll do anything… I’ll do anything for her—for us. I’ll do anything to let her know that she’s the only one that I want for all this time. I’ll do anything for her to stay,” 

Minseo can only just nod, as fat tears now stream out from her eyes. Now both of them were drowning in each other's tears. His breathing is heavy as if he had just run thousands of kilometers. His deep voice now turned even more hoarse as if he had just screamed with all his might. His two tear-stained eyes now looked at Minseo's pair of eyes which were also filled with tears.

“I tried, okay?” Mingyu sighs. “I tried my best to forgive myself for what I've done, for not fighting when I still get that chance. I tried to live with the decision that I made, with my own decision that led me to lose her. I tried all that but letting her go? I can’t and I’ll never will. Even when she is already far away from me, even if she’s happy with someone else one day, I’ll love her, Minseo. I always love her but I also cannot lie that I want Lisa to be happy with me..” “You hurt yourself, oppa.” 

“I know,”

“...” 

“I guess you already know that she gave me this jacket for my birthday,” Mingyu begins as he smiles proudly at the jacket that he wore which leads Minseo shocked about it. “Suhoon gave it to me after he announced that she left the group in this big white box with a white ribbon. He didn’t tell me at first but I know it soon after I saw her writing on the tag. Do you know what he said? He said to me, “Mingyu, please open this box when you are ready.” I know that he is concerned about me, but I didn’t do as he said.” 

“What did you do then?”

Mingyu slowly nods his head, “I said fuck it and I open the box. My heart and my mind were going crazy, you know? Asking and making sure that I’m ready for it. Even Lisa asked me about what bothered me since I became silent that evening. I think I was ready, well stupid of me, thinking that I was ready for what would happen next after I opened the box. Do you know what was the first thing I saw as I opened the box? there were two polaroids of us and two folded papers. She wrote me down a whole paper of birthday wishes, showering me with her love in her own words. I was so happy, but then I read the second letter.” 

“The letter of her forgiveness for leaving you,” Minseo cut him off. “She told you to love Lisa with all your heart, wasn’t she?” 

Mingys frowned his brows, as he heard how his sister cut him off. While Mingyu was lost in confusion, Minseo just looked at her tea blankly. Her slender fingers which previously held Mingyu's hand, now gripping her cup. Surprisingly, there was a faint smile on the girl's lips even though she didn't look at Mingyuyu at all.

As if Minseo already knew about the box long before it landed on Mingyu.

While Mingyu was lost in confusion, Minseo just looked at his tea blankly. His fingers which previously held Mingyu's hand now gripped his cup. Surprisingly, there was a faint smile on the girl's lips even though she didn't look at Mingyuyu at all.

As if Minseo already knew about the box long before it landed on Mingyu.

"I know what she wrote for you," Minseo said right before Mingyu asked him a question. "I know that she asked you to love Lisa because you deserve your happiness, I know that she asked you to forget it--I know everything because I was there. She didn't want me to know but one day before her departure I found two letters on the table along with the gifts she prepared for you,"

"You know all this already?"

Minseo nods and still avoids Mingyu's eyes who are now looking at him with pain.

There was a sense of betrayal in Mingyu's tone as the question left his mouth.

It was painful enough for him to know that Minseo and Seungcheol were right beside you just before you left. The universe seemed to hold no pain for Mingyu, even at that time Mingyu felt that the universe was deliberately stabbing him with painful realities. All of this felt so painful because the people who knew about all this were the people closest to him. Two people that Mingyu has trusted about his feelings so far. Two people that Mingyu never thought would choose silence when something big was about to happen in his life.

"oppa--"

"Does Seungcheol know about it too?" asks Mingyu in a colder tone. "About all this?"

"I told him first," Minseo replies... "She didn't want me to tell Seungcheol about her departure, because she knew that Seungcheol would tell you before her departure."

"And you prefer to tell everything to Seungcheol instead of telling me first?"

Minseo's body immediately trembled when she heard Mingyu who started to raise his voice. Without having to ask, Minseo knows that now his brother is starting to fill with emotions.

Instead of apologizing, now Minseok looks up and looks into his brother's eyes with a sharp gaze. "Yes, I prefer to tell everything to Seungcheol instead of telling you first. I prefer to tell you after she left. Do you know what the reason is? Because you deserve all of this."

Mingyu widens his eyes. "W-What do you mean? Can't you see the state I'm in right now? Can't you see how much I miss her? My life--"

"Shouldn't you have thought about that before you decided to leave the people you love to make people happy in the past?" Minseok sighs. "YES! You're my brother, but you don't deserve to feel that you're the only one who feels hurt here. Were you there when she cried every night? Did you ever think about how she felt after you decided to choose your past? When you just kept quiet and let her make her way to leave your life? Gosh, did you even fight for her forgiveness? No, right? You just stood there and let her go, you decided to throw her away and back to your past.” 

“You don’t know–” 

“Enlighten me then!” Minseo stands from her seat. “Enlighten me about your reason, enlighten me with the stupid reason that makes you throw the best thing that ever happened to you! Because I cannot find anything that you thought until all this happens makes any sense. If your only reason is because you want to make Lisa happy, then I guess all this is fair right? YN let you get your happiness, and you should too.” 

“But I’m not happy-” 

“Do you think she is?” Minseo scoffs. “Do you ever think about her feelings as you decided to ‘help’ Lisa? If you did, none of this would happen. She will not be leaving, she will be here with you. All this happened because of your decision, and… the pain that you feel now is your consequence. Her departure is the consequence of your choice.” 

“...” 

“I know I’m wrong, by not telling you everything, and I’m sorry for that.” Minseo sighs. “But I hope that you can choose yourself, choose the person that has already been there for you at your worst. I just want you to taste your own medicine, it’s hurt–Gosh I know it hurts you, but all of this will end eventually if you let YN go just like how she did to you for your own sake, for your happiness.” 

Mingyu just lowers his head as Minseo just stands there and watches how her brother cries one more time that night. She did not want to be this far, but if she did not do this, she knew her brother would always running in the same loop. Above anything she wants right now, Minseo just wants that you and Mingyu find your happiness. 

Because she knows that both of you earned. 

Even if it hurts. 

Even if there was no you and Mingyu in both of your happiness. 

“I’m sorry,” Minseo wipes the tears that came out of her eyes with the hem of her sweater. “I know you've been through a lot this past few months and I was there too seeing her having all this. I just want you to… be careful about your own decision, I don’t want you to put yourself in a situation like this. I know you want to make Lisa happy because she was there for you in the past, but I also want you to know that you don’t owe her anything. What both of you started in the past was already done too, there was no you and her anymore.” 

Mingyu just nods his head and still lets his cry out. Minseo had never seen her brother act like this, crying hard and looking fragile. For her, Mingyu always be the one that she looks up to the most. To be brave, confident, and… to love someone with all her heart. 

But now, in front of her, Mingyu was dropping all his masks. 

Mingyu took it all off and let his guard down. 

Slowly, Minseo walked to her brother, kneeling to his level, and gave him a tight hug. Her tears just freely flow to her cheek as she can feel her sweater-covered shoulder starting to wet due to her brother's tears. As Mingyu cries, she can feel how hard his body trembles in her arms. She wraps his muscular arms around her body and hugs her like there is no day after tomorrow. 

Tightly, Mingyu hugs Minseo with all his power. 

Hoping that it was you. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers in between his tears. “I’m so sorry,” 

“It’s okay, you are okay, I’m here, we are okay.” 

Minseo nods her head as her tears come out more than before. Her hands tapped Mingyu's broad shoulder. It was one of her habits when she tried to calm him down, to make sure that she was always there for him. Like another language of her saying that Mingyu is safe.

As the night got colder, both of them were drowned in their tears. The “sorry” word never left Mingyu's mouth as he cried Minseo's arms that night. There was a string on Minseo's heart as she hugged her brother closely. 

On that night, as her warm perfectly wrapped Mingyu's body, she has one hope. 

Minseo only can hope that there will be you in Mingyu's happiness, even if it takes a long time for him to fix everything. 

I want to talk with you. 

Alone. 

A heavy sigh left Seungcheol's mouth as he read his younger member's message that already dropped on his phone notification two days ago. Noticing the red light color change, Seungcheol then softly throws his phone to the empty passenger seat next to him before he puts his focus back on driving. His Mercedes was smoothly running above the snow-covered road, while his mind was somewhere deep inside. 

Seungcheol can’t help it. 

Yes, he can’t help to think about the possibilities that will talk about later. Seungcheol was ready with all his reasons because he knew all of them made sense (from his and Minseo's points of view). But if Seungcheol could tell the truth, he was not ready to see his closest member fall apart. Seungcheol is not ready for the consequences that he has to face, even when he already knows about it the first time before he jumps into it. 

Both of the people were his best friends. 

The two people that he loves and care about. 

But to think and do like what Mingyu did, Seungcheol cannot imagine himself doing that to someone that he loves the most. Mingyu was always one of the members that close with Seungcheol and they share their own stories. Seungcheol sees Mingyu as his own younger brother, and yet Seungcheol still cannot understand why Mingyu can let you go so easily. 

Especially when Seungcheol knows how deep is Mingyu’s love for you. 

Shortly, Seungcheol can read Mingyu easily like an open book. It was not strange for Seungcheol to see Mingyu sacrifice himself just to make people happy. For Seungcheol, Mingyu was one of those people and this time Mingyu sacrificed the most precious thing in his life and caused big damage. 

The big damage came slowly but bigger each time. 

The big damage that brings Seungcheol to drive to Mingyu's apartment tonight.

Seungcheol knows pretty well what Mingyu wants to talk about and it was nothing more than you and him. The leader also knows that Mingyu may think that Seungcheol did all of this because he likes you. 

Well, the truth is Seungcheol always likes you. 

Seungcheol likes you more than he likes his high school crush.

Seungcheol knows he can provide you well. 

But one thing Seungcheol knows for sure is that he is not Mingyu.  

He never can be Mingyu. 

Seungcheol’s wagon pulls up in the familiar parking basement. The heaviness in his heart was starting to become more and more as he drove his car and found an empty parking spot near the entrance. As soon as his car was perfectly parked in one of the empty spots, without thinking twice, Seungcheol slid out from the driver's seat and made his way to enter the building that he knew so well. 

The sound of Seungcheol's footsteps as he walked into the lift, was still far louder than the sound of his fast heartbeat at the current time. As the lift becomes higher and higher, Seungcheol can’t help his mind to think about you, about Mingyu. It was no lie when he said he wanted to help Mingyu, but it was also not a lie when Seungcheol said he also wanted his dongsaeng to feel all of this. 

Ding. 

The glass door of the lift slides open as it already reached the 17th floor which is Seungcheol's destination. In front of his eyes, Seungcheol was greeted with an empty and cold hallway made him take a very long deep breath before stepping outside. Feeling that he was ready, Seungcheol fastened his walk tempo before stopping at a familiar door. Ready or not, he has to be ready for his questions. Not until a minute after Mingyu presses the doorbell, the familiar door that was closed now opens and reveals one familiar figure. Below his black caps, Seungcheol gave the person a small smile before walking inside.

The smell of wood and fresh-clean room cologne was lingering around Seungcheol's nose as he walked into the living room. There was still the empty yet clean living room it was too neat for Seungcheol. “You want a drink or something?” 

Seungcheol just snorted as the question left Mingyu's mouth. He then sits on the couch, as Mingyu just standing at the end of the couch. “Drop that question, will you? I know where is your fridge.” Betrayed, that was the only thing that Seungcheol could see in Mingyu's eyes. He knows Seungcheol knows that the person that stands in front of him, already knows what happened. Like a bomb that just waits to explode, Seungcheol just gonna wait there and see when his dongsaeng will explode at him. 

“You said you want to talk about something?” Seungcheol asks. “What happened?” 

Mingyu sighs before crossing his arms and leaning on the coffee table facing Seungcheol. “Why don’t you tell me what happened, hyung?” 

“Is it about our group?” Seungcheol sighs. “There are a lot of things that happened in the past–” “Drop that, I know.” Mingyu’s cold yet sharp voice cut Seungcheol’s sentences. “You know, no, you were there when YN  leave, right? At the airport?” “Yes,” Without waiting for Seungcheol's next question, Mingyu then asks, “Were you also helping YN for her moving to NYC?” “I am, Mingyu, is that all you want to–” “And you are the one that helps YN transition to the New York office?” Surprised and without his knowing, Seungcheol widened his eyes. “Mingyu–” “You are the one who did it right, hyung?” Mingyu just blankly looks at Seungcheol. Like someone who has been tortured from day to day, Mingyu did not cry. No, Mingyu was too ranged to cry at the moment. “Why didn’t you stop her, hyung? Why did you push her away from me?” “Mingyu,” “Why?” without Mingyu's notice, he raised his voice. Never have Seungcheol heard Mingyu raise his voice at him, but tonight is different. Mingyu was mad, no, Mingyu was furious. Even with his naked eyes, Seungcheol can see it clearly in Mingyu’s eyes and he cannot blame him for it. “Why it must be you? The one that I trust the most? Why does it have to be you that help her leave me here?” Hearing the sudden changes in Mingyu’s tone makes Seungcheol drop his head. He knows that it will happen, but why is he never prepared to face this type of Mingyu? Seungcheol was there all along, from the moment Mingyu said that your relationship was done and Seungcheol can see how Mingyu tried so hard to face it like usual. When Seungcheol knows well that the younger couldn’t do that. Seungcheol knows because he also saw it on you, how you pretend to be okay while you also try hard to hold yourself from being broken. 

“Mianhe,” Seunghceol's deep voice ripped off the silence between the two of them. “Mian, Mingyu-ah.” “Is it because you like her?’ Seungcheol raises his head to see Mingyu who stares at him with the same cold glance. “You always like her since the beginning you met her, right? That’s why you help her?” “Mingyu-” “You thought this is your shot to be with her, hyung?” Mingyu asks, ignoring Seugncheol who tries to explain. “Is that how badly you want to be with her, hyung? That bad? So you just help her to leave me here without any–” “Yes!” Seungcheol's deep voice ripped Mingyu's sentences. Now, the older already raised from his seat, glaring at the younger with indescribable emotions in his glance. “Yes, Mingyu, I want with YN that bad. Yes, that’s the reason why I helped her leave you it’s because I finally got my chance to have her look at me like the way she looked at you, I want her to love me as she loves you. And you know what? I have that chance because you let her go, Mingyu.” 

“...” “I like YN, Mingyu, I always do,” Seungcheol sighs and looks away to the city view. “But I’m never you, I will never be Mingyu that YN loves and I know that. YN never looks at me with so much love like how she looks at you, you know why? Because all her love was on you until you let her go.” “You know I love her,” Mingyu looks at Seungcheol with tears on his face. “You know that but you keep it all from me?” 

Seungcheol sighs slowly. “I’m sorry,”

“How long?” Mingyu asks with a trembling voice, looking to the floor. “How long have you still been in contact with her?”

“Until now,” Seungcheol replies softly. 

Mingyu nods his head slowly. “Is she… okay?” 

“She is good,” Seungcheol nods. “She’s been asking you too.” 

“What did she ask?”  

“She asks about a lot of things,” Seungcheol replies. “Mostly she asked about how are you doing, about your sister, about you handling the tight schedule. She even told me to always warn you about your daily vitamins.” 

Mingyu could only listen with a heart that felt like it was being stabbed by thousands of sharp blades. But besides that, Mingyu felt a bit of happiness amidst the gray sky of feelings.

You're worried. Mingyu knows he's too selfish to think you're still thinking about him, but Mingyu can't lie to himself either. Some nights, while Lisa was fast asleep beside him, Mingyu woke up and looked up at the ceiling with questions in his mind. Oftentimes, Mingyu wonders if you've been thinking about it all along.

While he's in Seoul, looking happy with his choice, how about you in New York? Did you have time to think about him? Did you find your happiness in New York? Does New York treat you?

And hearing that you often ask Seungcheol about him made the man born in 1997 feel a bright spot from these several months full of darkness. Even though the bright spot was a little dim, if Mingyu could be honest, he felt a little more alive than an hour ago.

"Did she miss me?" asks Mingyu in a low voice, head still down and reluctant to look directly into Seungcheol's pair of brown eyes. Yes, Mingyu was reluctant to look at Seungcheol because he already felt his eyes watering.

“She missed you,” Seungcheol nodded his head then smiled bitterly before continuing. “I know she misses you as much as you miss her. I also know that she's not that good, Mingyu. To be honest, I think you are in the same position, you are both in the process of healing your wounds, but on the one hand, I feel you are just starting to feel the loss."

Silence of a thousand languages, Mingyu could only remain silent and stood with his head still lowered. Tears began to fall to the floor slowly and he tried his best to stay standing even though he felt like he would fall at any moment.

“I'm sorry for keeping her departure from you a secret,” For the nth time, Seungcheol sighs. "You deserve to curse me to your heart's content, You may not think I exist, but I ask you not to hate her because she kept her departure a secret from you. All of this was also hard on her control but she keeps trying to be okay with it. Therefore, she asked me not to say a single thing about her departure. She doesn't want you to find herself in that bad condition, she just wants you to see her happy like you are happy with your choice."

Millions of knives seemed to have sliced the flesh from Mingyu's body. 

It was as if a large hand was holding his mouth to speak. Either it's a big hand that is not visible or it could be the pain that holds it. Isn't it funny, that you endure the pain but it's different from Mingyu who is silent because of the pain that keeps him from speaking? More precisely, Mingyu's anger kept him from saying a word. He didn't want to slap Seungcheol, curse at the man, or even ignore him at all. No, that's not what Mingyu wants to do right now. 

All Mingyu wanted to do was beat himself up and curse himself for being stupid.

"She doesn't want you to blame yourself for your decision," as if Seungcheol could read Mingyu's mind, warning the sentence came out of Seungcheol's mouth. "She also doesn't want you to blame yourself for everything that happened, and she wants you to know that she has forgiven you."

"Why did she forgive me?" Mingyu asks softly. "I hurt her, hyung."

Seungcheol shakes his head slowly. "She didn't explain it to me," a lie from Choi Seungcheol's mouth. "It took time for her to open up to me, Mingyu, I don't want to force all the answers from her. From how she told her feelings recently, I can conclude that she has forgiven you and made peace with herself. Therefore, I hope that you have also forgiven yourself and made peace with the reality even though I know it is difficult for you too.”

“Everyone says it,” Mingyu snorts, his anger getting the better of him now and Seungcheol can tell it clearly from his tone. “Everyone says that I have to forgive myself and make peace with myself and reality, but how? How can I forgive myself when I know I'm the one who caused all of this? Because of my foolish decision, I am in this situation–because of that decision I lost the person most precious to me.”

“Be honest,” Seungcheol looked at Mingyu straight. “Be honest with yourself that it's YN in the end, all of this you did for Lisa is just to feed your ego, not love, Mingyu. You are obsessed with the idea of being Lisa's number one helper, you want her to be happy because you couldn't be there for her in the past, Be honest with yourself that you already made a mistake by that.” 

“..” “You also need to be honest with Lisa, you know? You are not only hurting yourself, but you hurt her too if you don’t be honest with her. Tell her about what happened, be honest, and then you can find your closure.” “And what if I don’t get it, hyung?” “You will,” Seungcheol nods and smiles softly. “You will find it, Mingyu, if YN can find her closure because of her love for you, then I know you can do it too.”

Incheon Airport International Departure, VVIP Pass  20.00 KST

“Just this?” 

Mingyu nods and hardly swallows his saliva. “Yes,” “Okay then,” the man looks up and pats his shoulder softly. “I’ll go now, okay? Take care of yourself while I’m gone, don’t do anything stupid, arra?” Again, Mingyu just nods and sadly smiles at that man. “Arra,” 

The man turns his back and drags his suitcase with him. As Mingyu's brown eyes watch the man turning his back, he takes a deep breath before turning his back too. But not even until one minute, Mingyu then turned his back for the second time. 

“Hyung,” 

Hearing Mingyu's voice the man then turns his back and looks at Mingyu with a smirk. “Forget something?” 

“Please tell her that I miss her, so much,” Mingyu said between soft sobs. “Tell her I’m sorry for all of this,” The man who stands in front of him can see pretty clearly how glossy Mingyu’s eyes are. But all he can do just nod and sadly smile at Mingyu. “I will.”  

“Just… tell that I’ll love her forever, please.” 

“Always, Mingyu,” Seungcheol nods softly before throwing a small smile. “Always.” 

Even though he was blocked by the airplane window, Seungcheol still enjoyed the beautiful sunset view. Not once or even twice did he have to spend a long time in the air. It's not the first time he's been able to find views as beautiful as this from a plane.

But somehow, this time--for the first time--Seungcheol felt calm.

The calm that he never thought he would get from the plane. It's a cliché when you think about it, but that's how Seungcheol feels. His head resting on the pillow of his chair with his eyes transfixed by the sight in front of him, Seungcheol felt a calm that he couldn't get on the mainland, especially in the last few days.

Not the last few weeks, but more precisely, in the last few months.

His brown eyes glanced at the cell phone lying next to his glass of red wine when he felt a vibration coming from his cell phone. His lips curved a small smile when he looked at the bubble chat at the top of his notification list.

18.00

Are you already on the plane? Let me know one hour before you land, I'll pick you up. By the way, you didn't forget the snack I asked for did you?

His hand was now holding his cell phone, his fingers nimbly dancing on the touch screen. Typing the words to answer the message that just came in.

18.02

I'm on the plane, ten hours to arrive.

I haven't forgotten your order, miss.

And I brought an important one for you

Less than a minute after the message is sent, he sees that you have read the message. Not even five seconds later he saw three circles indicating you were preparing your reply.

18.02

I thought you told me about Kkuma already. 

A sigh leaves Seungcheol's mouth slowly. He knows very well that you don't expect anything from that person at all. And that's what made the twenty-eight-year-old man even more confused. Seungcheol wasn't sure how to tell you that the important thing he brought you was a letter from the person who was the reason for you moving to New York.

The person who is the main reason why things are complicated as they are now.

But in his mind, Seungcheol knew that he couldn't avoid it and it was time for him to stand where he should be.

Between you and Mingyu. Seungcheol cannot lie to himself. He always likes you, but seeing you and Mingyu like this is also hurting him too. He becomes the witness for you and Mingyu's relationship process. He was there when Mingyu wanted to make the first move, he was also there when you freaked out when Mingyu asked you to date when both of you were deeply falling in love with each other. Then when all of this started to happen, Seungcheol was also the one who witnessed it all. 

He was there when Dispatch released the photo when you broke down into tears. It was fresh on his memory how you cried on his shoulder silently after you told him about the breakup. With his own eyes, Seungcheol witnessed how you try to survive and pretend to be okay. And on the last step, Seungcheol was there too when you bid goodbye to Suhoon, Minseo, and your other colleague at the airport six months ago. 

Not finished on that. 

Seungcheol was also witnessing how Mingyu struggles slowly. Like you, Mingyu may not say it clearly and loudly, but from his actions, his glances, and suddens blank, Seungcheol can read easily that Mingyu faces his endgame. 

And four nights ago, all of Seungcheol's reading was proven. With that, Seungcheol realizes that it’s his time to make the two people he loves happy even when he couldn’t have the one that he wanted. His big hands pull a white envelope from his jacket pocket and place it on the tray in front of him. He flips the envelope before capturing it with his phone and sending it to you

18.04 *A photo sent* This. Read 

18.04 Do you want to open later or should I read it for you and record it?  Read 

18.05  Read it and record for me, it’s okay, oppa. And so, Seungcheol slowly ripped the envelope with more care. He pulls out the letter and some cards that turn out to be Polaroid photos. As his brown eyes look at the photos, he just softly smiles. His mind travels back and thinks about how Mingyu chooses the photos of both of you. Seungcheol knows it was your favorite Polaroid photo with Mingyu. 

Seungcheol then unfolds the letter before pressing the record button on his phone screen. Mingyu’s familiar handwriting was very clear in Seungcheol's visions. After taking a deep breath, Seungcheol opened his mouth and started to read the letter slowly.

Annyeong, YN.

Annyeong, chagi.

At first, I would like to start with congrats you for your scholarship. I know that you can do it from the beginning, chagi! I know you are capable, smart, and worthy of getting that scholarship. Your hard work is paying off, right? Our sleepless night with your thick books, your late-night study, your dozens of glasses of coffee, your cry. 

I wish I was there when you got the acceptance letter. I wish I could see and erase the happy tears that we always talk about. I wish…I can hug you and congratulate you at the moment not in this letter. 

How’s life as a New Yorker, love? Do you eat well? Do you enjoy strolling Central Park on Sunday morning like what you dream of? Do you still buy Pizza from the pizza place I told you before? Are you happy? I hope New York treats you well, love. I hope you can live the life in New York like what you always tell me. I hope you are happy and  I hope New York can heal you from the pain that I caused here. 

Seoul misses you. 

No corner of it didn’t make me remind of you, of us. How we like to stroll around at midnight from one convenience store to another just to find the ice cream that I craved. How we like to have cinema dates without anyone noticing, how we visit museums for hours, and how you let me take photos of you with my camera even when you don’t like to take pictures on. 

I miss it. 

I miss you. 

But I know that it was not for me to miss you. I hurt you, the person that I love the most, so bad with my knowledge. I put someone over you, over us. And there is no day for me to not regret it. If I could turn back time, I will.  I will straightly go to your place without having to ask you how you’ve been after the photos out, I will choose you. I will choose us. 

I will not thank you for letting me love her. Instead, I will fight for you at the moment. I will choose you, over and over again.Now, I only can regret it by not doing all of that. I’m regretting letting my ego take control of me. I regret it to choose someone from my past while I have you in my life, the person I love the most and I promise to protect. 

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for… everything. I’m sorry that I cannot be with you like I always promise, I’m sorry that I hurt you badly, and I’m sorry for making the wrong choice. I know you will be tired of seeing or even hearing my apologies, but if I could do it a thousand times for you, I’ll do it. I should have known that it was you, I should have told you about what happening and what concerned me and I’m sorry for not doing that. 

I’m sorry that you have to feel all the pain that I gave you just because I want to make someone happy. 

I’m sorry for taking you as granted. I’m sorry that I’m too late to realize it.

Humans only can hope, right? We don't know how the fate will bring us. But I do hope that fate will bring you to the life that you deserve, love.

I hope you can healed and be happy. I hope you can be successful and achieve all your dreams. I hope that one day someone will come for you, love you, and make you the happiest. I hope that person can bring your smile and your laughter instead of making you cry. And I hope so much that he will not hurt you as I did. 

I do hope that maybe in another lifetime, I can protect you from any harm and love you without making you in pain. 

Even from a thousand kilometers from you, please know that I’ll always choose you, and always love you. 

- KMG. 

Sorry for the delay, have been busy with this and that. I think I'm gonna need some time for the last part because it's still grey on my mind and I have not decided if I want a happy or sad ending hehehe... but I'll try to update some oneshot for you (mostly fluff (but we'll see on my mood HAHAHA)), leave up some comments all! <3 - pearls.

[yeetmeoffjueyunkarst]

In another universe... Is good enough.

part 2 to this, ft various characters previously mentioned

It's obvious that you're gone for good. The only reason why they can cope is because... they pray for the multiverse theory to be real, so that their dreams, even if not fulfilled in this universe, can be fulfilled in another universe.

For Xiao, Diluc, Sara and Rosaria.

It's obvious that you've moved on.

It's in the way your eyes shine that wonderful sparkle around someone else, the ease of your steps, the gentle grasp on another's arms.

It's the way in which all the little conversations you used to have are now exclusive with someone else.

But even then, their memory of you has not faded. You are still a warm fire in their hearts, keeping them alive even if you are not there to nourish that flame anymore.

Sometimes, they find themselves thinking of you. They think of all the good times they had with you.

Every call of your name. Every touch that burns their skin. Every smile of yours, so brilliant and vibrant in their memories.

Even if it fades... They do not regret knowing you. They do not regret loving you.

For with this, they know that they could be possible, in another universe.

For Lyney, Lynette, Freminet, Yae Miko and Kokomi.

Obviously, they couldn't cross over to the world of the dead with you.

As they sit right in front of your grave, wiping it with a wet cloth, they're stuck on their thoughts on you. When you were alive.

Every little moment, from simple talks about dinner, to the back and forth bickering, to the more intimate times when you both bared body and soul to each other...

They do miss it. But the flow of time is always constant and will not stop for anyone.

"Let's go home." Their new lover, one who they would spend the rest of their lives with, without you, offers their hand.

They take their hand, getting up and moving forward.

Thank you for being part of my story. I know you want me to move on and seek someone else, even if it pains you. Because I would have done the same, even if it means ignoring my selfish heart for you to be mine only.

And if you were to be alive, they would stay with you, in another universe.

For Jean, Lisa, Kaeya and Venti.

The gods didn't favor you both, for in the end, you were both separated.

It's not as if the both of you didn't try, really. But in a world where fates are often intertwined with each other, the freedom to transcend such bindings are often hard to obtain, and in some cases, impossible to overcome.

Please do not be upset that it was doomed from the start.

For it was still real to the both of you. All your feelings, all your treasured bonds, all your touches, cuddles, kisses and sweet nothings.

It was all real.

Please be assured that the both of you would be able to break free from all these shackles, and have a chance for your own happily ever after, in another universe.

For Ei, Keqing, Itto and Heizou.

They never did get to see you again after that.

It was as if you were a dream, a mirage, magically disappearing into thin air.

Like the lightning striking and disappearing after its brief magnificience awes them.

Your radiance divine, they could not forget for the rest of their days, even as they marched towards their own ideals for the sake of what they believed is right.

They can no longer look back. You were the last straw, the final puzzle piece into solidfying their resolve.

They no longer have the honor of having you grace their life with your presence, because it would only bring heartache to you both, given your differences.

The differences that they oh so cherish deeply.

At night, they wonder: Would the two of you have found some way to put aside your differences and worked hard to love each other for them, in another universe?

For Tighnari, Amber, Xiangling, Nilou.

They've now left you behind, and you're watching their backs as they stride ahead in confidence.

It was stupid, in hindsight, to look down on people. You all of all people know that.

Because they were the ones who never looked down on you when you were at your lowest.

When did it go wrong, really? When did it go wrong for you to become so arrogant and take them for granted.

Now they're gone, like leaves dropping from their trees in autumn.

You fool.

Now, would you like to pay for your price in regret, regret over what would have been in another universe had you cherished them while they were around?

For Ganyu, Sucrose, Shenhe.

Too much indecisiveness led to an entire lifetime's worth of regret.

Before they knew it, you disappeared into the snow, like a little tiny snowflake in a sea of multiple snowflakes.

Where were you? They could not find you, because some things... you can only come across once in a lifetime.

It comes unexpectedly, serendipitously, without warning.

It comes and it goes, and you have to be ready to seize the opportunity. Especially when it comes to love.

The next time they saw you, you were so wonderfully dressed up in wedding attire.

But you are facing someone else at the altar.

Not them.

And so they put on a fake smile, clapping and cheering you on without even objecting to your wedding when the priest asks for any objections.

They should have taken that chance. Now, all is left is daydreams of being together, only achievable in another universe.

For Zhongli, Childe, Ningguang, Neuvillette

Duty, duty, duty.

Duty to the people. Duty to the family. Duty to the friends. Duty to the higher ups and juniors. Duty to their desires and dreams. Duty to their lover.

It's a shame that they seemed to have neglected the last one.

Poor them. Always so busy, always scrambling back and forth behind the shadows while keeping up a cool facade.

The next time they come home, all that is left of you is a few memories, some belongings, and a letter.

I'm done. Let's separate. There aren't any feelings anymore between us. You don't even make time for me anymore.

No takebacks, no chances, no nothings. Only sweet delusions of a you and them in another universe.

So many universes out there, so many possiblities. Even if we are not fated to be in this universe, I pray with all my heart that in another universe, we could be handling taxes and doing laundry together, even if it is in a simple laundromat. I pray that fate does not deal us a bad hand, and we could live in peace and happiness together and never be apart. Never be separated by external forces, and have our hair turn white together.

My sincerest wishes to you, my love. I will live well for you. May we be happy together in another universe. I love you. So, so much. More than you could ever know.

[makiandcheese]

i wanna share the genshin impact ships i enjoy and why (mostly rarepairs)

Rosaria/Kaeya - undeniable trust and friendship turned romantic interest. though capable of forming a relationship, their occupation and circumstances prevent them from fully pursuing it. Even if all factors could ignite mutual interest, the fear of ruining the friendship they harbored would stand in the way. What's important in a lonesome city is the same stranger who is looking for the same comfort you seek. Frequent liar or not, he's quite the personality to have around.

Jean/Diluc - everyone says they are exes turned lovers however I view them as the failed chance at love. They are friends who knew each other since they were learning to walk type of friendship. The first love you never forget. If they were given the chance, they could say what they want to the other. "You look even better after you became a stranger to me, pretty woman"

Yelan/Ningguang - The what could've beens. similar to jealuc but in ninglan it's focus is more on the one-sided, unrequited type of love. (using Beiguang for this example) watching the one you love fall for someone you know she deserves hurts. It hurts because you know you could've been with her if not for your own issues. thankfully she will never know you love her since that love will die with you

Rosaria/Jean - oh god where do i begin with this. The "outcast" meets the city's beloved individual. For someone who feels they never belong, its confusing to have the city's hope make excuses to see you. Rosaria and Jean's relationship begins with jealousy due to the nun and the idol deaconess' relationship. What makes Barbara look at Rosaria the way Jean always wanted? Filled with concern and trust that only families have for one another. Giving that to a complete stranger is agonizing.

Lisa/Jean - coworkers to lovers <3. A workaholic learning the simplicities of life from the reliable, easygoing, gentle person. When she'd forget to take care of herself mentally, she'd be there. Unknowingly providing comfort with just her presence alone.

Beidou/Ningguang - Two people who rule and have a significant influence on the community. Bickering and arguing over the smallest things yet loving each other for the same reason. What makes these two so wonderful is the fact that they both witnessed each other overcome difficulties in their own manner. They both achieved goals that brought them together in some way. Competing with which one would make the other prouder.

Venti/Zhongli - centuries have gone and past, and yet home always had the same eyes and breeze. When it comes to gods, the only one they could consider as equal are the same immortals who suffer with them. Why does meeting each other again bring so much comfort and pain? How many friends did they watch come and go like sand through the wind? Thankfully, they can overcome these uncertainties together. Until they could no longer control the corrosion within them.

Surcrose/Rosaria - When your curiosity leads to people questioning your character, the person you gravitate towards is someone similar. Sucrose would have a lot on her mind and would desperately need someone to talk to. Rosaria always wanted to learn more about the world but never had the guts to say it out loud. The mutual silence between them could be a conversation. "I have something on my mind, but I have difficulties saying it" and "Take your time. No rush."

Kaeya/Albedo - Understanding your past from the product of the past can be an interesting combo. Kaeya and Albedo are two perspectives of the Khaenri’ahn existence. The truth is never black or white, in fact, the truth is always relative. Messing around with your coworker because of mutual origins grives a sense of comfort in the city where everyone knows everyone.

Ganyu/Keqing - coworker who has false impressions towards each other. A tender and careful love formed from the desire to protect their city. Patience is a virtue especially for Ganyu. However, with all the years she had lived, days with Keqing always felt like love personafied.

Xiao/Traveler - what cannot be may be. One's duties always hinder relationships, but there will always be someone stubborn enough to reach out. Someone once said that unnecessary suffering is not a proof of strength. Relying on others is difficult but if it's with the person they love, one could only hope that they're not a burden. Thankfully, they don't give a damn about your stubbornness and go out of their way to talk and spend time with you. Since you know that these times wouldn't last.

Ayaka/Yoimiya - The different lives we live shouldn't turn us into strangers. In a life where expectations are laid upon you, finding freedom and happiness incarnate is like grasping sunlight. Ayaka knows she has her duties but spending time with Yoimiya makes her forget the time. Grief and loss often isolate us from relationships (including socioeconomic circumstances). Thankfully the eternal shogun's antithesis stays by your side.

Itto/Sara - Our beliefs do not align, but if someone talks shit about the other. Someone will be getting punched or electrocuted. Being a Yokai in human society always leads to discrimination unless you are equipped with power and unimaginable influence. Seeing each other's most vulnerable sides in the most unexpected times always led to curiosity. Curiosity leading to interest. And interest leading to fondness.

Al Haitham/Kaveh - Unconventional ways of saying "i love you" almost always lead to someone's wrinkly forhead. If turning himself into Kaveh's personal screaming outlet would let him relax, Al haitham would gladly do it. What happened in the past has long gone, and what's left is to continue. Is it so difficult to let him love you?

Candace/Dehya - Every neighborhood child's first loves daring each other. Duty is always the priority. Traveling the world will come one day but not today. If that is someone's belief, then someone will bring the world to them. Even if it's small material gifts, its treasured dearly. Just make sure not to come home bruised and covered in wounds. Else a medicated scolding (and some kisses) would be perscribed by the village's resident guardian.

and that's all folks tell me what you think.

[holylulusworld]

Demon Knife - Angsttober 26

Summary: You need something from Dean.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, implied abandonment, Lisa is a bitch in this one, mentions of slime (monsters), Dean being a douche, no happy ending

Trope: Friends to enemies

Kinktober vs Flufftober 2023

“Hey, open the door,” you’re panting heavily, but you made it to Dean’s door. Or rather his new girlfriend’s door. You harshly knock again. He just needs to help you.

“Who are you, and what do you want?” Lisa mutters behind the closed door. “I got a gun.”

“I’m a friend of Dean,” you lick your dry lips. “I’m in trouble…or not. I mean…it’s complicated.” You feel dizzier per minute. “Listen, I don’t have time to explain things. But I need to wash this stuff off me." You slur. Fuck. The slime the monsters spat at you starts working. “I need…fuck…”

“You’re drunk or on drugs. I’m not going to let you in,” she says and locks the door. “Go away. I got a child.”

“I only need water and salt to wash it off,” you lean your head against the door. “I’m not drunk, miss. I…the slime…I feel…”

You end up on the ground, darkness consuming your mind and body as loud voices lull you into sleep. You recognize one of them. It’s Dean.

 “Lis’ she doesn’t mean anything to me. Y/N is an old friend. A hunter. I guess she needs something from me. I’m not going to go with her or let her stay.”

“You shouldn’t have come here.” Great. That’s the first thing you want to hear after waking from another nightmare.

You groan and rub your tired eyes. “Y/N, you can’t come here, drunk and angry.” He shakes his head. “I got a new life.”

“Christ, you are as dull and unhelpful as your girlfriend,” you jolt up on the backseat of Baby, cursing because you are only wearing one of Dean’s old shirts. “Hello, Baby. I’ve missed you.” You pat the backseat.

Dean watches you get out of his car. He sighs and runs one hand down his face. “She’s not dull, nor unhelpful. But you came here. Drunk.”

“I wasn’t drunk,” you grunt, and stomp your foot. “It was the slime making me feel dizzy. All I needed was some water and salt. I told that bitch so.”

“She’s not a bitch either,” he grits his teeth and jerks his head toward your bag in the front seat of Baby. “You should get your shit and leave.”

“I wasn’t drunk, only influenced by the slime.” You sigh deeply. The man standing in front of you is not the man you used to know. “I came here because I need one of the books in the trunk of Baby.”

“You could’ve asked Bobby,” Dean watches you snatch your bag from the seat to get a pair of jeans and a shirt out. You strip his shirt off, throwing it at Dean. “He’s got more than enough books.”

You ignore his harsh tone and the way he watches your every move.

While he tells you it was a mistake to come here, you throw your jeans on, followed by your shoes.

“I need a specific book to find a way to kill those monsters. The last one belongs to Bobby, but Sam—” You bite your tongue. It’s the first time you have said Sam's name since he jumped into the pit to defeat the devil himself. “He took the book and it’s still in the car.”

Your voice shakes as you remember the day you and Sam bickered about the book. He wanted to read it first but gave in and let you read it first.

“I know there was a remedy to neutralize their slime, and I need Ruby's knife.”

“You came all the way out here for a book?” He cocks a brow. “Really.”

You exhale sharply through your nose. “I told you that the book is the last one. Believe me, this is the last place I want to be.”

“Why do you need the knife?” He watches you dress in the hunter’s uniform. A shirt and a plaid you stole from him years ago.

You don’t look at him. Not after what he said last night. His words still echo in your mind, and you once again tell yourself he’s not worth your tears, or the heartbreak you still feel.

“Well, with two Winchesters down, and the last one living the apple pie life, the remaining hunters must do thrice the work. Now the monsters believe they can defeat anyone. If the Winchesters can fall, or if they can make them skip out on the job, those bastards believe we are all quitters.

You sneer when Dean tries to put his hand on your shoulder. “Y/N, we talked about this. Sammy wanted me to have a normal life.”

“Yeah, but why did you…Why her?” You sniff. “I thought…maybe…” You shake your head and swallow the words burning your tongue. “Forget it. You’ve got a new life. I hope you’re happy. Now, if you just handle me the knife, I’ll be on my way.”

Holding out your hand you try to not look at Dean. “Sweetheart, maybe you should quit too?”

You chuckle bitterly at his words. “I tried, but the man I loved chose some yoga instructor chick he met once over me. So, stop acting like you care and give me the knife.”

“I-“ Dean sighs deeply. “If that’s what you want.”

“No, but it will keep me alive. Because the man promising me to always have my back left me for some other girl.”

Dean hands you the knife. He watches you grab the book from the trunk, sniffling as your eyes land on the makeshift bookmark Sam made for you stick out of the book. “Do you need anything else?”

You huff and shake your head. “I’ve got it handled. Bobby will help me bring those slimy bastards down,” you lift your eyes from the book to glare at Dean. “He’s going to have my back.”

With that, you turn your back on Dean, to stuff the book and knife into your duffle bag and sling it over your shoulder. “Y/N, wait…”

“Save it, Winchester…” you look over your shoulder. “Maybe you should change your name too. Because we all believed that Winchesters aren’t quitters. At least Sammy was brave enough to save the world…”

It’s a low blow, but you deliver it with a smirk. Dean visibly flinches at your words but doesn’t say a thing. He just stares at you, unsure if anything he says will change your opinion.

“You should tell your girlfriend to not fuck with everyone knocking at her door. Not everyone has enough impulse control to not punch her.”

You walk out of the garage, regretting only one thing. That you must leave Baby behind…

“How’d it go?” Bobby asks as you get into his car. He nods as you show him the book. “I guess now we can get rid of these slimy bastards. How’s the boy doing?”

“Plays house with his yoga instructor. He told me to leave so,” you push the tears away, “let’s roll. I don’t want to stay in his neighborhood for too long.”

“I’m sorry kiddo…”

Bobby and you took the monsters down. It was a hard fight, and you needed the help of another hunter, but you made it.

Even though it was a struggle to forget about Dean, you managed to not think about him for the better of three months.

It gets easier to not have him around, grinning goofily, while telling you a dirty joke. You almost don’t miss his enthusiasm for food, or how he sang along to the songs he loved on the car rides you miss so much.

It almost feels like you never had feelings for him. Almost. Only this dull pain remains in your chest. But it will fade soon, you’re sure about it.

One day, Dean Winchester will only be someone you used to know…

[heliads]

Hiya Lisa my love!! I think this may be the first request I’m sending you (omg!?) But I am so excited to do so, and of course for our best boy Jack Wilder <3

Okay this one’s a little silly but I’m thinking Jack Wilder x reader where the reader is part of the Horsemen, but Jack and her don’t exactly get along all too well (enemies/reluctant allies to lovers). I’m thinking they’re sent off together to check out and map a location for the Horsemen’s next big act (maybe a fancy gala! That’d be so fun!), but the whole time they’re just bickering and shooting jabs at each other and the other guys are on comms and are just So Tired™ of their bullshit 😭

amber i love you for this

masterlist

You don’t think you’ve ever seen the magical enigma known professionally as J. Daniel Atlas and familiarly as a pain in all of your asses as stressed as he is right before the start of a new job. The Horsemen are world renowned for their intricate performances and flawless setups, which only serves to increase the pressure on all of you to keep one-upping yourselves every time you appear in the spotlight. Danny has taken it upon himself to make sure that all of you stay perfect, and that responsibility is manifesting itself in the form of a lecture right now.

He’s standing in front of you, eyes wild with the fire of what could be creative genius or perhaps too much coffee, and rattling off a series of questions to make sure you know what you’re doing.

“Where are you going?” He asks first.

You meet his gaze steadily. “The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Specifically the busiest areas during the Met Gala.”

“How are you entering?” Danny queries.

“Two ways. First, as a tourist, to spot the security cameras. Then, I’ll go again at night, to lay some cameras of our own and run some more thorough investigations.”

Danny takes a step closer. His hands are steepled together, making him the perfect picture of a plotting supervillain from one of those bad action movies Merritt keeps playing. “What, specifically, are you looking for?”

You want to roll your eyes, but you learned a long time ago that showing any sort of emotion except for intensity in front of Daniel Atlas during his mad planning sessions is only asking for trouble. So, you keep your cool, or you try to, at least. “The normal stuff. Alcoves and closets where we can hide. Areas with low security presence. Entrances and exits. Janitors. Extra uniforms. That sort of thing.”

Daniel nods once, the only sign that you’re not outright bombing his little pop quiz. “And who is going with you on this reconnaissance mission?”

This time, you can’t disguise your sigh of disgust. “I’m taking a stubborn child.”

Danny gives you a cool stare. “Try again.”

You give him a look, but Daniel is prone to winning staring contests, especially when he’s in this sort of mood, so you cut your losses and give in. “Fine. I’m taking Jack.”

To your side, someone starts clapping. “Perfect response!”

You and Daniel both turn in unison to see your recon partner applauding your sarcastic answer from his chair a few paces away. His feet are kicked up on the table in front of him, and although he had been aimlessly scrolling through his phone this entire time, he’s put the device down temporarily so he can remind you just how strong a bond the two of you share. Which is to say, in no uncertain terms, none at all.

Daniel glances back at you. “You’re not going to let the two of you working together be a problem, will you?”

You fold your arms across his chest, affronted. “I won’t. You might want to double-check with my so-called partner, though. Who, by the way, is free to answer any of these questions on his own. I don’t see why I’m the one who has to know everything while he gets off easy. Aren’t we sharing this responsibility? And by extension, this interrogation?”

Jack just flashes you a thousand-watt smile. “You seemed to have it covered, sweetheart. Besides, I just like hearing the sound of your lovely voice.”

You flip him off. He blows you a kiss, then does the same. Daniel looks ready to burst a blood vessel. “Focus, you two. I want no slip ups. We’re stealing the show of the Met Gala. If we make a mistake, I think Anna Wintour will personally kill us.”

“She’s going to do that anyway,” Jack muses, “We’re interrupting her little fashion show. God forbid someone focuses on us instead of all the celebrities who aren’t even dressing to theme. If I had that money, I could do way better, is all I’m saying.”

You shoot him a perplexed look. “Since when have you paid attention to the Met Gala outfits? Last time I tried talking about it, you told me that was all absurdist nonsense.”

“Maybe I was just talking about you,” Jack answers vaguely. “I’m allowed to, like, develop interests.”

You toss him a glare, then turn back to Daniel, who for some reason looks somewhat entertained. “Can we go back to the plan, please?”

Danny straightens up. “Yes, I’d like that. I’ve briefed both of you on the entrances and exits I need you to scout out–”

“Too many times,” Jack cuts in. He’s not wrong. Danny’s been over this every hour on the hour since you got the call to stage your own show at one of the most famous fashion opportunities of the year.

Daniel, however, seems to think that he hasn’t mentioned the details enough. Now Jack is on the receiving end of not just your glare but Daniel’s as well. “As I was saying,” Danny continues smoothly, “You’ll get in and get out. Try not to move too quickly, you don’t want to attract attention, but don’t linger too long, either.”

“We’ll be fine,” you assure him. “Not our first rodeo.”

Danny nods hesitantly. “I know. Just your first rodeo together in a while.”

That’s no big secret. You and Jack may both be Horsemen, but that certainly doesn’t mean you have to like each other. In fact, you couldn’t be farther from it. You’re not enemies, so to speak, an enemy is the FBI or the CIA, but referring to whatever exists between you as friendship is stretching the truth. You’re more like uncertain, unhappy allies. You’ll work together so long as you get paid and stay in the spotlight while you’re at it, but you’re not likely to grab drinks after a show together.

However, the Horsemen come first above any personal squabble. Always. That’s the one thing you and Jack can agree on. What you’re working on is bigger than the two of you, it’s bigger than all of you. To most of the world, you are magic. No rift between teammates is worth damaging that ideal.

That’s why Jack straightens up at last, and dons an expression verging on solemnity. “We’ll do our part, Danny. No need to worry.”

“There had better not be,” Daniel comments, but he backs off after that, and leaves to track down Merritt to deliver a similar speech.

Now alone, Jack’s familiar cavalier attitude comes back in a flash. “Can’t wait for our little date tomorrow, L/N,” he tells you.

You roll your eyes. “It’s going to be so much fun.”

The next morning, you and Jack wait your turn in the entrance queue at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. You’re both disguised with baseball caps pulled low over your heads, then paired with sunglasses, and you each have fake IDs in your pockets just in case. It’s surprisingly easy to get around undetected; although the Horsemen are famous the world over, no one expects to see them outside of one of your performances. It makes no sense to spot one of you in a coffee shop or in line ahead of you, so their minds just glance over you as if you were never there at all.

It’s certainly convenient. You could always go to an outside source for intel, but if there’s one lesson you’ve learned throughout your time, it’s to never trust anyone outside of your immediate circle. There are always people who’ll sell off your secrets, or debunkers frothing at the mouth to show how you do what you do.

No, it’s best to keep everything under wraps, even if it makes disguises necessary. There’s a brief moment of panic in which the security guard checking Jack’s bag lingers on his face a little longer than usual, but he’s waved through soon enough and then you’re able to wander further into the museum.

A voice crackles over your earpiece. “What was that about?” Danny, paranoid as always.

Jack shrugs, directing his voice towards you so no one will suspect he’s talking to anyone else. “Probably just a newbie convinced they’ll catch a would-be robber by checking my hand sanitizer close enough. They didn’t plant any bugs, we’re good. Most likely, she was just captivated by my exceedingly good looks and got distracted.”

You scoff. “Or maybe she was just fascinated by your hideousness and wanted a better look.”

Jack clutches a hand to his heart, feigning agony. “My hideousness?” Y/N, I’m hurt.”

“Good,” you smile saccharinely at him.

Daniel sighs in a gust of static over your earpiece. “Focus, you two. Please.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” Jack says. “We’ll get to work.”

You and Jack slip through the exhibits, pretending to examine paintings in sculptures when, in reality, you’re looking harder at the security features in each room. The Horsemen already have a rough plan in mind for how you’re going to enter and exit, but the security presence could change which specific entrance you use.

When you loiter a little too long near one oil painting of two nobles dancing at a lavish ball, Jack doubles back to your side. “Everything alright? We haven’t been noticed yet, have we?”

You shake your head, snapping yourself back to reality. “No, we’re fine. Just looking. I love this year’s theme for the gala. If I had an actual invitation, I would have worn something like the dress in this painting. I would want to, at least. Of course, that would only happen if we weren’t breaking in, but. Yeah. That’s what I would do.”

You realize you’re rambling and try to cut yourself off, but you’ve already been going on for a while. You wait for Jack to tease you, but instead, the corner of his lips tugs up in a soft half-smile. “It would look good,” he admits, “You would. Maybe we should petition Danny to let us dress up. We could recreate the painting.”

He swoops closer, placing one hand on your waist and taking yours with the other, spinning you into a waltz just like in the painting. Jack pulls you close in an exaggerated dip just like in the painting, one that takes you a little too near the painting. One of the security guards surges across the room to tell you two to move away again. Jack lets you up, then exaggeratedly apologizing, slapping the guy on the back as a gesture of camaraderie. As the guard walks away, you can see the tracer he’s planted, one that will give you two much-needed information on the paths each guard takes on their shift.

“Nice one,” you breathe.

“Yeah,” Jack says, but he’s still looking at you, as if mentally cataloging each and every place his hands had been just moments before. “I am nice.”

You swat him on the shoulder, and he winks. Rather than give that an answer, you head to the next exhibit. The two of you tag the next few guards you come across, noting janitor’s closets and fire exits while you’re at it. 

It’s easy to settle into a rhythm. You go from room to room, you snipe at each other, you get the job done. Jack passes a sculpture of a nude woman and suggests that be the costume you wear to the Gala, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively; you tell him that you’ll do it only when he’s got biceps the size of the Greek hero statue next to it.

Eventually, you only have one tag left. This one, though, will be the most difficult. The chief security guard has access to the central security station of the museum; by bugging him, you can get the passcode to the main room, which would be a significant help. The only problem is that you’ll have to get close enough to talk to the guy, and he looks far more suspicious of everyone around him than any of the other guards.

You volunteer to do it, and weave your way over to the guard in charge. It takes a heady dose of flirting, but you’re able to get the job done eventually. You do have to shell out a fake phone number, but he’ll only find out the number isn’t yours later that night. No harm, no foul.

Or, not according to you, at least. When you walk back over to Jack, though, your partner in crime has his arms folded tight across his chest, and he looks more annoyed than you’ve seen him all day. At last, something has managed to pierce his armor of sarcastic, joking indifference, but you’re not sure what.

“He seems nice,” Jack says, voice unnaturally calm, “Maybe you do want to take him out on a date after this, like you said.”

You laugh. “We both know that was an act, Wilder. No need to get jealous.”

“I’m not jealous,” he insists, “I have nothing to be jealous of.”

“Nothing?” You ask, one brow raised. “So you wouldn’t mind if I went back and gave him my real number?”

Jack slings an arm around your shoulder in a pretense of affection, but it feels more like he’s pinning you to him, making sure you can’t go back and do as threatened. “That would be ridiculous. It would ruin our whole act.”

You grin. “What act?”

“That we’re here on a date of our own, obviously,” Jack says.

“We haven’t done anything of the sort the whole time we were here,” you point out. “It makes more sense for him to think we’re just friends.”

“Then we’ll have to fix that, won’t we?” Jack suggests, and although you do notice the glint in his eyes when he says it, you’re still not expecting him to lean forward and kiss you. The kiss is– startling, yes, but not bad, not at all, and when he finally breaks away and looks triumphantly over at the guard who’d been flirting with you, you get the feeling that Jack thought so too.

“I think we should do this all the time,” Jack whispers to you. “Maybe we should ask Danny to change our assignments around.”

“Actually,” a voice crackles over your earpieces, “I’d rather neither of you ever spoke to me again. If I have to think about you two making out one more time, I’ll pour bleach directly into my brain.”

You slap a hand over your mouth to stop from laughing. “Oh, no. Daniel, how long have our comms been on?”

“The whole time,” your showman says, “I hated all of it, thank you for asking.”

Jack snorts. “And you didn’t remind us to turn off our mics?”

“Merritt wanted to see if you’d actually commit enough to do it,” Danny says, sounding supremely unhappy. “Now we’re both traumatized. Just get your asses back here and never bring this up again.”

This time, you can’t hide your laugh. “Alright, we will. Try to stay away from the bleach in the meantime.”

“I make no promises,” Danny grumbles, sending you and Jack into a wave of laughter again.

Jack reaches up to switch off his own earpiece, then does the same for you, gently brushing the side of your face with his hand while he’s at it. “Well,” he says slowly, “We might as well make the most of our time right now, hadn’t we? I’d hate for our ticket money to go to waste.”

You grin. “Quit the theatrics and kiss me.”

Jack Wilder doesn’t usually do as told. This time, though, he makes an exception.

requested by @hiya-itsamber, i hope you enjoy!

now you see me tags: @mayfieldss

[lakesbian]

“Fair. Here… Let me pick the clothes, and if anything goes wrong, you blame me, deal?” She dug through the clothes in my closet, “Jeans and… let’s see… a crop top to show off that belly of yours.”

see, shit like this entire scene is why briantaylor lisataylor and racheltaylor are all real to me simultaneously. it's literally classic weird codependent yuri that taylor's Girlbestie (who she met a week or two ago tops):

goes around ruffling her hair

calls her hyper-familiar pet names

casually and without permission snoops through her texts to the boy she has a crush on

invites herself into taylor's room while she's nakey to change

makes invasive yet fully accurate declarative statements about taylor's emotions

inserts herself into things by micromanaging taylor's outfit selection and saying "blame me if anything goes wrong"

and, of course, is doing all this shit while lying to taylor to obscure from her that 1. she is trying to manipulate-fix her into having better mental health so she doesn't kill herself and 2. has been hiding from everyone that their boss has coercively enslaved her and she can do nothing but decide that this is her life now and, if she wears the mask perfectly enough, she'll be able to keep everyone living the comforting lie she keeps telling the team. that's all well and unhinged of her and one reason among many lisataylor is real and true, although not in the simple "they're dating" sense.

the thing is that if all that were true and then taylor did just go to brian's house this arc and confess and he was like Teehee...I like you too :) and then they started dating normalstyle, that would be fucking nothing. we would have to throw brian out a window forever in favor of the shit taylor has going on with rachel and lisa. BUT. here's the critical part. taylor's relationship with brian is also weird and dysfunctional and mutually neurotic.

he rejects her at first because his ability to understand his own emotions and also not view women through a deeply paternalistic misogynist lens is so low he at first mistakes romantic attraction as meaning he wants this girl he just met to "be like a little sister to him someday." like, he psychologically does not know how to have women in his life who are in categories other than "coworkers i bicker with" or "little sister i love and want to care for (which i express dysfunctionally because i am 17 and traumatized)," and because taylor is closer to someone he cares deeply about than to a coworker he bickers with, he tries to sort her into the second category instead of acknowledging that she's a secret third thing (girl he wants to be friends with and date).

and taylor is so socially inadequate she's about to kiss him at random without consent and then tell him to go with it As A Favor so she can piss off one of her bullies who happens to be on the same bus as them. Taylor you can't just do that to people. and a bit past that she's going to refuse to mercy kill him after he gets hung on the meat freezer cross. no one here knows how to have a normal teenage relationship. they're all weird and dysfunctional and codependent. Even the straight couple. Could've been milquetoast but dodged it by a mile via everyone involved being fucking weird and bad at understanding themselves. it's fantastic. youve gotta hand it to wildbow re briantaylor. only thing that can improve it is deciding to read it as if racheltaylor and lisataylor are also true.

[flowerbloom-arts]

I suppose you could say they're a... Match made in hell........ (Design from Treehouse of Horror XXV, s26 ep4)

(Over-analysis of ChalmSkinn under the cut.)

Disclaimer: I know I'm overanalyzing silly gags and concepts from a silly animated sitcom that in its current state has what one could only describe as a rough approximation of continuity (and that the spooky anthology episodes in it are non-canon). Just let me exercise some media literacy for a bit.

Okay so like... What is it with Skinner, Chalmers, and being a two-headed creature? What is that meant to represent?? Once is a gag made in humor and twice is a little eyebrow raising, I think.

And it's not like they're using this as a gag because they have a kind of antagonistic relationship and it'd make for easy bickering jokes, it's actually the opposite! These representations of them with a shared body happen as a representation of them getting along!

ChalmSkinn Productions is their own production company that they originally used to submit films to the Sundance festival, and that episode was one where they got along the most, by far, as the two had a shared goal in being successful in the film industry.

(please ignore the video play bar at the bottom, thank you)

Now, the logo for the company when it got introduced as a concept was very different, it was a globe where Skinner and Chalmers' heads would spin on its surface (though, one could argue it's still their two heads attached to one thing which is roughly a similar idea to the shared body thing), but the association still applies. The company is the result of their two heads joining in an amicable way.

Demon ChalmSkinn (that's what I'm gonna call them) on the other hand is extremely fascinating to try and deconstruct into something of thematic implication.

They are... Technically not Skinner and Chalmers themselves? But they are a parallel version of them in this hell school dimension that Bart and Lisa discover and it's full of other demons that parallel characters from Springfield Elementary, so Demon ChalmSkinn might as well be Chalmers and Skinner for the purposes of this Treehouse of Horror segment.

And, given the vague idea of what Seymour Skinner and Gary Chalmers' relationship is like, you would expect the writers, when sticking their heads on the same body, to make them bicker, right? Have the Chalmers head yell at the Skinner had for some reason?

... They don't do that! They don't bicker at all! In fact, they are very much in sync in a non-hivemind sort of way, they don't interrupt eachother and they seem like very pleasant dudes in general (well, except for the part with they skinned Bart, that was a little uncool).

It's like... What are the writers trying to say with this, specifically? It almost feels like the fact they get along well is the joke.

You expect them to not get along? Well, they do. Their relationship in the regular world is so bad that it's better in hell.

And that's weird, right? If that's the joke then it sure as hell (heh) doesn't feel like it gets acknowledged as a joke. Why avoid such an opportunity for easy jokes? It clearly has to be some deliberate representation of something about their relationship, right? Why do they get along more when they're conjoined than when they're apart?

Maybe, just maybe this is saying something about the inseparability of Gary and Seymour, that they are unable to truly break apart from eachother and are actually far more miserable for it. No matter how many times Chalmers fires Skinner or plans on firing him or just gets annoyed at him for being a spineless kiss-ass around Gary, there's just no severing them. Perhaps a commentary on the status quo nature of the show.

One of my mutuals also suggested that these two would actually be happier if they were together instead of apart, that being stuck together makes them more whole and pleasant than just the sum of their parts.

Their relationship has been characterized by this great, invisible divide of some sort, where a blurry amalgamation of admiration and desperateness clash with an apathetic no-nonsense attitude. If they could just somehow bridge that divide and come to a deeper understanding of eachother then... they'll be happier for it, and maybe they'll be... Together. And inseparable.

If the episode Road to Cincinnati is of any indication, their relationship seems to be heading for a dynamic shift, almost definitely a positive one. Now that Chalmers finally sees Skinner as more earnest than placating, maybe we'll see a Chalmers and Skinner that will evolve into something more. Something metaphorically resembling that two-headed demon they are in hell.

[therealtsk]

What Your Favorite Worm Ship Says About You

some people have found my crusty, old ass tumblr post on this very topic, so im making a new one with my updated opinions! Cause those are, in fact, allowed to change. Enjoy! Taylor x Lisa: you're into relationships that could be dysfunctional or healthy with one push in either direction. also something something sun lesbian moon lesbian. Taylor x Rachel: You love dogs, and you want a girlfriend who can kick your ass. You're also into bomber jackets. I respect you. Taylor x Alec: Sadly, you do exist, and you did make it weird. Go away! Taylor x Amy: You read altpowers on the daily and complain about canon worm being too grimdark. Solid odds on you having never read worm. To be clear, it's worse if you have. also something something FBI OPEN UP Taylor x Victoria: You like the vibes of Lisa and Taylor's dynamic, but you want them to be a little more heroic and a little less dysfunctional. But only a little. Taylor x Clockblocker: You're straight and liked that one joke that cropped up. I also haven't seen any of you in a hot minute, thank god. No offense but this ship is mad boring.

Taylor x Sophia: You've come to realize that Sophia is a great character who gets done extremely dirty by the rest of the fandom. Also, rivals to lovers. Taylor x Emma: This can go one of two ways. Either you adore childhood friends to lovers, or you love enemies to lovers. Either way, you're obsessed with hurt and/or comfort fics. Taylor x Theo: You actually read Worm and recognize that Theo is criminally underrated in the fandom. Now just stop shipping him with Taylor and you'll complete the next step on your journey to enlightenment.

Taylor x Simurgh: I can't say for sure you're a anime fan, but you're definitely at least a little bit of a monsterfucker. also something something inherent eroticism of being world-destroying power couple. Taylor x Greg. You read Worm SI's unironically and get really defensive when people say that Greg is an incel. Completely unrelated, you haven't spoken to a woman other then your mother in five years. Taylor x Cherie: I've been informed this is a ship. I've yet to be informed as of a reason why I should like it. Cherie likers stay mad!

Lisa x Rachel: I don't remember the last time I saw this ship that wasn't also tagged as a polycule with Taylor, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're an OT3 enjoyer.

Lisa x Victoria: You’re into the “enemies to lovers” trope, but more of the "Spiderman x Black Cat" type then the "you murdered my entire home town but i can't help but find you sexy" type. Also you have a thing for blondes

Lisa x Faultline: Your ideal relationship dynamic is bickering married couple. You're also into heist movies.

Lisa x Simurgh: You have a thing for smart girls... who hate you. Also, you really liked Part of the Whole.  Contessa x Alexandria: You're fucking based. Also something something inherent eroticism of girlbosses winning Contessa x Numberman: you're friends with Peri and enjoy memes about pants and math Numberman x Jack Slash: You think serial killers are hot and are starved for m/m ships. Danny x Eidolon: You're losersexual and are starved for m/m ships. Also you frequent r/wormemes Danny x Miss Militia: Honestly, i think you all died out. I couldn't be happier, this ship is fucking dumb. Amy x Literally Anyone Besides Taylor: listen, there's like a hundred different jokes i could make here, but all of them boil down to amy defenders always defending the rapist for some reason so let's just agree amy defenders are fucking cringe and move on Dragon x Defiant: You understand that this is unironically the only healthy relationship in worm with some of the best character growth and romance in the entire story, and a majority of all of it happens off screen. You're extremely bitter that so many fanfics do both of them so dirty they get beaten into different characters. Alec x Aisha: You like the idea of this ship, cause two pranksters making everyone miserable is the kinda vibe you enjoy, but constantly run into the issue that Alec is...well. Alec. That or you're into Alec's brand of shit, in which case, FBI OPEN UP Aisha x Missy: You read It's Cold Out There Every Day. I did too. Fuck, this fic is so good. I'm going to go cry about the ending again. Lily x Sabah: Yes, you know the age gap is a little problematic, you just want to be happy with your relatively healthy canon lesbians goddamn it Purity x Literally Anyone: You don't understand why people keep calling you racist. You're not! You're just weirdly defensive of the hot milf who murders people of color and seem to constantly bring up that Kaiser didn't actually believe the nazi propaganda he was peddling. You are racist btw Taylor x Brian: You...are Wildbow

[zabimarushoney67]

Hello! I wanted to known if I could request slow sensual sex with Shinji Hirako???

Oooomgosh omgosh yessss! This is gonna be so good 🙏🏼 Highkey have been waiting for a NSFW fic with Shinji 💀 Thank you so much! for the request and I hope you enjoy! (I went on a blind hiatus during this im so sorry lmao it’s done tho!)

🔥Under Fire🔥

Shinji Hirako x Fem!Reader

NSFW+18💦MDI⚠️REC.DU💨FLUFF💟MODERN A.U✨

Summary: Shared but masked feelings, making love wasn’t apart of the agenda. For you though, Shinji is ready for anything.

Warnings: Modern alternative universe, strong language, sensual lovemaking, praise kink, marking(hickies, bite marks), fingering, oral!sex (reader receiving), vaginal!penetration, hand holding, sweet talk, supple kisses, blunt smoking, friends with benefits turned serious, budding romantic feelings, fluff throughout.

Authors Notes: AH FINALLY I HAVE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS 😩 SHINJI WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME AND I AM OKAY WITH THAT! Also! Bad Omens reeeeaallly set the mood for this thing, like ONG absolute perfection!😭🤌🏽

Loud music bumped over the nightclub speakers, rumbling through the wooden floors with everyone’s moving feet. Flashing lights colored the hundreds of bodies that were crammed together like sardines on the dance floor, Shinji’s gentle hands were on your hips, he watched them sway in time with the movements of his fit body.

Drunk and feeling the music, the beating vibration warmed your body up against Shinji. A feeling like sparks igniting, consuming you in his spiritual flames. Shinji flowed with your body on the dance floor. Shifting his hips, he pressed them up against your frayed denim shorts, groaning to himself as he felt your body press, and relax back into him.

He swallowed hard as he peered down your body, his steely eyes devoured the slick and shiny skin under your halter-neck tank top. Feeling your hand wrap around his neck and grip him there, finally had him leaning into your ear to speak up. “Hey, you wanna get outta here soon darlin?” His voice reverberated something needy and demanding. Shinji teasingly licked the shell of your ear, nibbling down the side of your neck as you rolled your hips across his quickly hardening groin.

Leaning your head back on his shoulder speaking into his ear, “Sure, yeah that sounds good! But I have to finish my drink first,”. Rolling his eyes, he released his grip on you. Holding your hand softly he followed closely behind you as you lead him back to the table where Lisa, Kensei, Renji, Izuru, and Shuhei sat.

Hoping you two could slip away unnoticed, Shinji huffed. Now in a forced position to say goodbye and come up with a reason for disappearing yet again, at a friendly get-together, Shinji was less than thrilled. Not an outcome he was hoping for, but if it meant he could leave sooner with you without a bickering match, it would be worth it. Moving to the quieter, darker part of the club where your table was, y/n grabbed the air toward her drink, lazily leading Shinji behind her.

Renji passed her the drink, as she finally anchored herself at the front of the table. Bringing the cute, yellow bendy straw to her lips she sucked down the blue fruity cocktail, bobbing her head in time with the music.

“Looks like you two are having all the fun,” Renji commented, “We are, but,” y/n started saying before taking another sip of her drink, “We're actually gonna head out early for the night,” she said tightening her grip on Shinji’s hand, silently asking him for some back up if her unplanned plan backfired.

Everyone's heads turned at that comment and landed on both you and Shinji, Shuhei caught Shinji’s hand being held captive by yours and only nodded in his direction. The rest of the gang sighed outwardly, “Really? Already?” Renji questioned with a grimace, “But we just got here!” a drunk Lisa sang out. “Oh let them go, they'll just disappear somewhere anyway,” Kensei huffed, taking a languid sip of his old fashion.

The rumor was true. You had secretly been seeing Shinji on the side for a while now. He established a friend-with-benefits situation a few months back.

On that day, running some errands with him, Shinji had bluntly come forward with his attraction toward you. It seemingly came out of nowhere, but you had been so fond of him already that you even held your suspicions, that he felt the same. The sex has been a reliable release for you, it sated a need you didn’t even know you had until you started seeing him regularly during the week.

The both of you had tried to keep it down low and out of sight, trying not to start any gossip. It seemed everyone eventually caught on, since every time you all got together, you and Shinji always ended up disappearing.

Usually off somewhere alone for a quick meet up and then return to the function, but the longer the agreement went on the more often you two went off just to be together, sexual or not.

“Are you guys leaving already?” Izuru chimes in with the rest of the crowd, walking up behind you and Shinji with a handful of shots. “Yeah…” Shinji replied slowly, blatantly fronting his irritation at the current embarrassing circumstances. “That’s lame,” “take one before you go,” Izuru rolled his eyes, pushing a shot into both y/n and Shinji’s free hands.

Just as y/n finished her cocktail, she threw the shot back like a champ, before anyone else had even lifted their shot. Shinji would stand corrected if he thought he was the one who wanted to leave this god forsaken club first.

(...)

Walking back to y/n’s downtown apartment not far from the club, y/n held onto her shoulders. Chilled, after leaving the heat of the nightclub and into the late summer night. “Jeez. Woman,” “This is why I told you to bring a jacket,” Shinji sighed.

Wrapping you in his brown leather jacket he remarks “And who said chivalry is dead?”. “I didn't know it would be this cold,” y/n muttered quietly, gripping the sides of his jacket and enclosing herself in its warmth. “You’re half naked, with your hair in that... Cute messy bun style you know I love so much on you,” “Of course, you're gonna be cold, sometimes I think you do it on purpose,” he smiled to himself as the words left his mouth. “Absolutely not!” y/n spat back defensively, knowing deep down that he was... Well, he was kind of right.

Something has been different lately. Even before leaving for the club, Shinji had ran through a whole checklist before he would even allow you to step out of the door. ‘Have you eaten yet?’ ‘Do you have everything in that purse of yours?’ ‘Are you sure you don’t wanna bring a jacket?’ just to name a few examples. There was a new profound softness in all of Shinji’s actions that pertained to you, it felt good, natural even, like it should’ve been this way the entire time.

Needless to say y/n was rather enjoying the new treatment, it made her heart patter ever so lightly allowing more room for her fondness to grow for the infamous jokester, who now turned out to be an infamous gentleman as well.

(…)

Finally arriving back home in the safe confines of Y/n’s apartment, y/n shook off her heels and threw his jacket on the coat rack while Shinji carelessly strolled in behind, removing his shoes. The beginning steps of y/n’s ‘time for bed’ ritual took place, and Shinji got comfy removing his tie, loosening his shirt a bit and rolling up his sleeves. Y/n stood in the mirror, wiping off her makeup in the bathroom, closest to her bedroom. Shinji sat on the bed, rolling up a blunt for the both of you. One of his many playlists lulls over the sound system, filling the bedroom with a warm and welcoming atmosphere.

Once cleaned up and dressed down in some of her comfy shorts and an oversized T-shirt, y/n joined Shinji on the plush mattress, sitting crisscrossed with a glass of iced water. “Man, nightclubs are not my thing anymore,” y/n said rubbing her eyes, groaning softly from the slight headache she received after the few hours of drinking and dancing.

“So, let me get this straight,” “You’re saying,” “You would rather be at home,” “Chilling… and smoking weed with me… in your bed?” Shinji drawled out turning his head in your direction, with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. “Shut it and light it, goofy,” y/n sneered at the blonde man, smacking him lightly on the shoulder and breathily laughing at his stupid, dumb remark. So stupid it left your face catastrophically red. Seriously, what was up with this guy? His smooth words, and even smoother hair. None of it made sense, or it did… just why now? Shinji was the adamant one on the, ‘this is nothing serious, I just want to have fun with you,’ part of the agreement.

Putting his hand upon your upper thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. Shinji places the blunt between his lips, it hangs so artfully from them as he goes to light it. Pulling out an engraved zippo lighter, he flips it open. The bright blue flame quickly engulfed the tip of the tobacco paper, and a sweet aroma of the white grape drifted through the air while the paper burned to ash, quickly followed by the delightful smell of weed. These night are always the best when shared together, y/n thought. Allowing her mind to wander through the current moment, a sudden swell of emotion had begun overflowing her body.

(…)

A few passes and over half a blunt later, the two leaned against the wooden headboard, their bodies heavy from the weed that swirled through them. Y/n laid her head on Shinji’s shoulder, while his arm encompassed her close against his warm, slumped body. Shinji puffed on his handiwork, relaxing further into y/n’s weight. Rolling waves of smoke lingered in the air and filled the dimly lit room, while the two lay together sailing through the clouds. The entwinement of their bodies and limbs being the only thing that kept them grounded in reality.

“Earlier…” “Walking back here,” “You said, you loved when my hair is up,” y/n said softly, pausing before continuing, “What are some other things you… ‘love’ about me?” She asked curiously, with her breath hitching in her chest.

Shinji’s eyes widened at her question, breathing a heavy hit from his nose, he hurriedly took another, sucking it deep into his lungs. “Well…” he said as the smoke poured from his mouth. “There’s lots of things…” “like the way you’ll scrunch your nose up at my gross jokes,” Shinji said chuckling to himself. “Or the way you’ll blush and look away whenever I compliment you…” “Or my favorite…” he paused again. “the little dance you do when you’re eating something you like...” he stopped there smiling to himself, but not wanting to dredge any further into that topic.

Y/n lay on his shoulder dazed, “Oh..” she breathed, blushing from his words. “I was fully prepared for you to say something along the lines of,” “I love the way your lips look around my cock darlin’,” she said, trying but failing to do an impression of Shinji.

“First of all,” “I do not sound like that,” Shinji laughed heartily at y/n’s endearing impression of him. “Secondly, I love it when you look like that,” he corrected, taking another hit before handing it over to y/n. “Oh yeah?” She said giggling, “Oh yeah,” Shinji said before his soft fingers slid up the side of your cheek and turned your face towards him.

Leaning down to capture your lips in a gentle kiss, he pulled away ever so slightly, blowing his smoke into your mouth and kissing you again after. “I love it a lot,” he said, inches away from your face. His words sang, traveling through y/n’s ears and making them ring with their sweetness, flowing down her body and resting comfortably in the pit of her stomach.

Blinking softly at Shinji, y/n exhaled the smoke. A soft shade of pink stained her cheeks as she stared into his grey hooded eyes. A crafty smile plastered across Shinji’s face as he caressed your cheek under his thumb. Y/n leaned into his touch before bringing the end of the blunt to her lips.

Glancing down at y/n’s full lips encompassing the tip of the blunt, Shinji drank your expression in full. He mimicked your blushing shyness as he pulled his hand away. “Goddamn…” “You are so fucking pretty,” “You know that?” He said biting his lip, he shook his head in disbelief and scoffed. “It makes me wonder why no one’s snatched you up yet,” insecurity silently started weaving itself into his usually unwavering confidence.

“I mean, I’m not complaining,” “More fun for me after all,” Shinji said going silent afterward. “For me, I think maybe...” “it's because I have you in my back pocket, and everyone knows it,” y/n stated blatantly, “We haven't exactly been hiding it,” shrugging her shoulders, she put the roach out in the ashtray. “Or maybe...” “it's because I would rather have you…” “So I decline everyone who’s tried,” a hefty blush returned to her face as y/n avoided eye contact with the blonde man lying next to her.

“Oh yeah?” Shinji said with a side smile and raised eyebrow, cocking his head down at you. “...Yeah,” y/n murmured after a moment of diligent thinking. Shinji’s hand cupped your chin softly, begetting your stare back in his direction. His face grew hot all over again when he peeked at the soft, lustful eyes of y/n as they peered down at his lips. Flashing quickly back to his eyes, y/n leaned in and molded her lips gently against Shinji’s.

(...)

Her sudden emotional ministration left Shinji blinking widely, the blush on his face crept up to the tips of his ears while she kissed him deeply. Melting into her kiss and releasing a breath from his nose, he pushed firmly back into y/ns wanting mouth, groaning as she parted his lips with her sly tongue.

Twisting his torso, Shinji slowly pushed you into the pillows, as he climbed on top. Supporting his weight on his forearms, y/n’s plush thighs hugged his waist while he got comfy between them. Her soft hands held his face, gently stroking the short stubble on his jawline, keeping him over her mouth as their tongues played and explored one another.

Soft moans roused from y/n when Shinji shifted to his knees, pushing her thighs up and over his. Rising to his palms, he gazed down at you, his face flushed and lips parted. Quick, broken breaths left his mouth, and Shinji felt his heart thump against his sternum. A strange, foreign feeling washed over his body. Arousal, lust, and something else... Passion? maybe. Y/n’s fingers tentatively reached for the first button of his shirt and slowly pulled each of them apart, staring intently at the buttons as they came undone and revealed his smooth skin underneath.

Sitting back on his heels, Shinji shrugged off his shirt and tugged it free of his jeans, tossing it to the side of the bed. Returning to his position over you, he caught your mouth in a greedy kiss. Awash with his need for you, his hand clasped your still-clothed breast gripping and kneading it underneath his palm. Y/n’s hands explored the expanse of his now open back. She remembered every flowing line of tensed muscle and the way they seem to relax under her hand that softly caressed each spot.

(...)

Shinji’s lips smashed against yours, nibbling at you playfully, and sucking your lower lip. With the intense feeling of being engulfed in everything that was Shinji in this minuscule moment, the heat started quickly swallowing y/n’s breath underneath the man's lanky form.

His needy mouth traveled from your lips down your jaw, pushing your head away, and giving the feral man access to your supple neck. Y/n’s head spun violently under his frantic, but somehow artful duress. Her body begged to feel his warmth, begged for him to give her what she needed.

Y/n found herself lost in the present moment, stuck in some places of her past, but somehow still excited for the future that was to be paved, and hopefully with Shinji by her side. Releasing his grip on your chest, both of his hand's fumble around, trying to find yours. Enterlacing his fingers within yours he pushes your palms into the bed, pinning you underneath him.

Shinji continued his crusade down your neck, licking and softly kissing the sensitive skin that lay vulnerable to him. Y/n can feel a smile form on his lips when she wailed out from the sharp feeling of his canines pinching her skin.

Covering the small welt with his mouth, and running his tongue over it Shinji sucks the skin of your neck. Grunting lowly when he feels you arch your back into his unrelenting torture. Releasing you from his mouth, he continues his play time to the other side of your neck. There, he kisses down to your exposed collarbone where he begins to repeat the same teasing ritualistic behavior, marking you with a large purple hickey.

(...)

At his total mercy, and laying completely helpless underneath him y/n bucks her hips against him. Trying, and trying again to find some friction to sedate the growing arousal between her legs. The flimsy cloth of her shorts and her lacy panties discouraged any true form of relief. They numbed her sensation just enough that it became a nuisance trying to do it herself. That was until Shinji finally understood what you were after. Freeing a hand from your grasp, he lowered it to your slick heat.

Surpassing the confinement of cloth, he delves in between your plump lips. Massaging the wetness that collected there, he hummed in appreciation at how worked up you had become with just some sloppy kisses and heavy panting. Two fingers rubbed in gentle circles around your clit. “You’re such... Ah!” “A goddamn tease!” y/n said forcibly.

She desperately wiggled her hips against his fingers, wishing he'd hit the spot he knew she loved. Shinji’s slender fingers always left y/n in a full trance. The way they magically danced across her skin, and brought about the most helpless of whimpers from y/n. The sounds Shinji knew, he was the only one who could force from you. “C’mon darlin’” “You know I love the way you sound,” “Let me hear you,” Shinji breathed against your skin before snatching you into another soul-devouring kiss.

“Let me feel you then,” y/n pulled away from him and retorted in frustration. Grabbing his wrist she pushed him further toward her dripping, needy heat. “Don’t be like that baby,” “I was gettin' there,” he smirked against your mouth. Sinking his fingers into your mess of a hole, he slowly pulled his fingers against the spongy pad on your upper wall, massaging in little circles.

Positioning his thumb he pressed on your swelling clit, rubbing and prodding the sensitive bundle of nerves in time with his curling fingers. “That's such a good look on you y/n,” Shinji smiled greatly as he peered down at your pleasure-contorted face.

“Faster..! Please!” y/n begged, shooting Shinji a needy glimpse and biting her lip to egg him further. “Nah,” “I want to enjoy this...” he said softly as he continued his sermon of repetitive motions. Y/n whined loudly, bordering on a temper tantrum. “Goddamn.” “You're so fucking cute when you're frustrated,” Shinji confessed in admiration, softly smooching your cheek before traveling feather-light kisses toward your ear. Taking your earlobe in between clenched teeth, he shoves his fingers into your aching core, reveling in the shout y/n released from his perfectly timed and careful actions.

(...)

Feeling your body convulse and twitch underneath him, was most certainly egging him on, more than ever before. His cock raged against the tight confinement of his jeans, throbbing in time with all the little jolts that ran throughout y/n’s body. “I think that'll do,” Shinji said before removing all stimulation away from y/n. “W-what?” y/n protested as she tried grabbing his hand to keep him posted in their position. Sitting up, Shinji unbuckled his belt letting it fall open. “Take your clothes off,” he demanded, his voice sounding a lot like how it did at the nightclub.

Blinking dumbfounded, y/n obeys and starts removing her shirt. Shinjis's hands helped lift it and pull it over your head as he discarded it with his shirt on the side of the bed. Y/n hooks her thumbs in the waistband of her shorts and pulls them down her thighs. Shinji pushed your legs up straight and pulled them off. “Keep the panties on,” “They're cute,” he remarked. He peeked down at the floral red lace tanga-styled panties that sat high on your waist, accentuating your curvy hips and pillowy thighs. His strong hands grab hold of your ankles and kept them in the air, “Bend your knees so they touch your chest,” “They don’t leave that spot until I say,” Shinji warned, his tone sounding serious as he positioned and instructed you on how he wanted to take you for the night.

Y/n hummed happily, lulling her head to the side roused a questioning look upon Shinji’s face. “Somethin' funny doll?” He asks, his palms pushing your thighs up to your chest. “You’re just so sexy when you’re in charge,” y/n explained with a grin. “Do it more often,” she said, silently challenging him, and staring directly into his eyes.

Shinji didn't respond with words but rather with his actions. Running his fingers over the lace of your pussy lips, a small smirk draws on his face once he saw your eyebrows draw together slightly from his touch.

Peering down at you and your position, his face suddenly softens. The position he wanted you in left you exposed to him, vulnerable almost. Somehow your words spoke of the trust you had in him and the confidence you held for him, knowing that he knew how to take care of you in every regard. It took Shinji by complete surprise the more he thought about what you said. Maybe he was thinking too much into it but something felt different from you, about you, he only understood that he couldn’t let you down now.

(...)

Quickly removing his black jeans, Shinji crawled back onto the mattress. He laid on his elbows while his face took place over your dripping cunt, his cock throbbed at the sight before him. The cotton insert of your panties drowned in your juices, scarcely containing your folds as it stretched thin between your plump lips. Like a ripe peach that hung from a branch and was ready for the picking, Shinji stared mesmerized by your intimate beauty. The aroma of your lust and the warmth that waited inside, made Shinji’s mouth water intensely as he steadied himself before taking a dive back into your depths.

Lightly pushing the cloth away to expose you completely, Shinji places his hands near your waist and leaned down and kissed your glistening lips. His hair swayed from side to side as he got to work. The soft gentle kisses he started with slowly turned into long sucking kisses, as he took each lip into his mouth and pulled on them. Tugging ever so gently before releasing it with a sucking pop and repeating this motion until he made his way up to your clit.

Taking the swollen bud into his mouth and sucking it, the pressure from the motion left y/n’s thighs trembling, and her toes curling at the ceiling. With her eyes shut tightly, her jaw dropped as she mewled loudly from Shinji’s unrelenting maw. The lewd noises that spewed from y/n’s mouth were unlike anything Shinji had ever heard before. His body reacted physically, singing with lust as every nerve, every pore on his body stood at full attention, just for her.

He fisted at the sheets under his palms as he started absentmindedly grinding into the mattress. Shinji repeatedly pushed his twitching cock into its soft fullness, desperate for any attention he could get while he waited to finish you first. Shinji grunted as his cock slid against the soft, stretchy spandex of his blue boxer briefs.

Removing her hands from the underside of her thighs, she placed them on Shinji’s forearms. Tightly gripping onto them, y/n felt the cool metal of his tongue piercing swirl around her clit, and up and down her sensitized labia. Y/n’s knees failed to stay directly over her chest and slowly drifted to her sides, resting there and spread completely open for Shinji’s hungry mouth.

(...)

Y/n finally caught a needed glimpse at the handsome man that lay in front of her. Visually taking in the way he ate her out like it was the last thing he’ll ever do on earth. So turned on by her noises and arousal, that he’s resorting to fucking the mattress. That’s a first, y/n thought gazing down at the touch deprived man between her thighs. His tensing muscles, soft whimpers, and all the incredulous sucking noises created such a delightful picture for y/n’s eyes and ears to take in and memorize.

The image of this moment, and the feelings that danced and swirled around her body, doubled by the pressure of her orgasm winding up in her core was almost too much. Tears pricked at the corners of y/n’s eyes, as her noises got louder with each swipe of his tongue. Noticing that you had broken the position he placed you in, his arms slid under your thighs and hooked you in his full grasp. Too horny to care, Shinji tugged you harshly down to his mouth. Making you jolt and gasp from the tightness of his arms as they held you harshly in position against his face.

Releasing a thigh, his fingers journeyed down to your twitching hole. His eyes peered up at you as he slowly sunk his middle digit into its wetness. Rubbing the pad of his finger against your G-spot, his tongue ravaging your clit. Expertly flicking and prodding your bud with careful consideration to get you to release. Never breaking eye contact, he sped up his finger's pace. Feeling your walls swell and clench around his finger was a sign you were close, pulling his finger out he glided another finger in with ease before pushing up on your G-spot. The repetitive pressing of her fleshy button, in time with the fast-flicking of his tongue, sent y/n over the edge drowning her deep within her pleasure and forcing out her full release.

“Oh, Shinnnjiii!~” She wailed his name out in ecstasy as her pussy clenched onto his digits and her clit pulsed under his tongue. Finger fucking her deeper and harder during her orgasm caused a different form of release, as y/n’s pussy squirted forcibly through the rolling waves of her powerful orgasm. Splashing Shinji’s chin, neck, and upper chest area, and soaking the bed underneath y/n. “Mmmm, that's what I like to see doll,” “Good job Baby,” He hummed as he pulled his fingers from you, sucking them clean.

Y/n lay there half unconscious coming down from her incredible high. “You've made such a mess darlin’, look at you,” Shinji chuckled at the slumped form of y/n, still breathing heavily. “I'm...” “I'm not sleeping in the wet spot, that's your fault,” she said catching her breath and swallowing hard.

Chuckling sweetly at your exhausted words, “Don’t bother me none babes, just a sign of my victory,”Shinji grins shifting to his knees in front of you. His warm calloused hands push your thighs up to your side as he leaned down to kiss your mound, up your belly, and the space between your breast. His breath felt warm against your skin, as you felt the tip of his nose swipe across your chest. Softly suckling the skin of your breast he repeats his loving and careful kisses until your nipple is encased in his wet mouth. His thumb and index finger come to rest underneath your breast allowing some support while his tongue swirled and prodded against your hard nipple.

(...)

Not giving you any time to prepare for the next act, Shinji sucks and pulls on your nipple with his lips as he presses his still-clothed member against your now-soaked innermost thighs. Grinding against your slick left wet, splotchy marking on his boxers. Pulling off your nipple, he kisses toward the other side and pulls your hardened nipple into his warm mouth sucking gently on it, making sure that none of you is left untouched, or unloved. Still coming down from her first high, y/n lay underneath him breathless, soaking in all of the attention Shinji seemed to have no problem giving to her.

The feeling of his throbbing cock pressing against her still-sensitive clit had y/n reeling. Gasping inwardly at the sudden shock of pleasure that still shot through her body, so artfully done in with just Shinji’s mouth.

“Fuck...” “Shinji, I want you,” y/n mewled pathetically at him, bucking her hips against his swollen, still captive member. Releasing your nipple, Shinji smiles deviously against your skin, “I can't hear you darlin’” he purred. “I..” y/n started before feeling unsettled from the foreign neediness that had been instilled within her. “Use your words, baby,” Shinji’s kissed soft words of encouragement into your chest, only making you flush further. “I want you, inside of me now,” “Please, pretty please,” “I can't wait any longer,” y/n begged helplessly, her mind completely fogged with lust and need.

“You’re in for a treat then babe,” “Because I want you to,” Shinji chuckled before pushing his boxers down past his cock allowing space for it to spring free from its confines. Grabbing the base of his lengthy cock, he prods his tip against your red, swollen lips. Running it up and down your slick, Shinji grunts lowly as he inserts himself. Your gummy warm walls accepted his length freely, swallowing every inch with squelchy ease. “Ohh~” “Fuu-uck,” “Y/n baby, you're always... so fucking... sweet,” Shinji gritted his jaw and forced out as his full length was sheathed inside of you.

All of those hours watching you, waiting for you, wanting you, finally came to an end as Shinji’s body fully relaxed into your body. Pleasure washed over, from his head to his toes as he felt your walls clench onto his shaft. His warm hands rested on the back of your thighs as he raised his body up and over yours. Pinning you against the headboard, Shinji positioned himself so his cock was perfectly angled against your G-spot. Slowly pulling himself from you, his whole body shuttered as he pushed his hips back into your tight cunt. Y/n lay spread open ready for Shinji's taking. Biting her lower lip she cursed under her breath as Shinji made the first few movements.

It didn't matter how many times Shinji had taken you before. It didn't matter how many times you came because of him, or how many times he had touched you. The craving for you only grew stronger with each time he felt you. Getting worse, as each time left him wanting you all over again, bubbling up like an inevitable volcano. Being inside of you was paradise to him, pure bliss, and the only thing to make him forget about all the other stressors in his life. You had become the center of his addiction, and every time he got a taste it was like a first taste all over again.

Finding a steady momentum, Shinji ground his hips against your core, sending his cock into your wet deepness. His mouth fell open and his eyebrows drew together as he felt your pussy twitch and throb with his motions. Soft breathy moans filled the room as he rocked his body against yours.

What usually was rough, harsh, and relentless pounding was gentle and comforting this time around. His hands softly gripped the underside of your thighs as his cock effortlessly slid in and out of you. Y/n’s breasts bounced softly with each of his push-ins. With her face flushed red, the feeling of his impossibly hard cock grazing against all of her right spots was quickly rewinding her arousal all over again. Shinji peered down at y/n, taking in all of her blushing features. The way your eyes rolled when he pushed up into your core, and the faded cute cries that left your now chapped parted lips.

Beautiful. You were so beautiful during this moment, taking all of him with ease and enjoying every second of it. It drove Shinji wild, he moved his body over yours once more prompting y/n to wrap her thighs around his waist. Finding your hands, Shinji interlaced his fingers with yours again.

Burying his face into your neck, he squeezed your hands as he picked up his pace. Y/n cried out, the tears that previously pricked her eyes now finally spilling over her cheeks. “I can't take much more Shinji...” she whimpered at his relentless grinding. Kissing your neck and ignoring your words, Shinji continued his loving agony, pushing himself harder against your soreness. “Just a little..” “Longer, I'm so close,” he breathed against your neck in earnest. “Fuck, I'm so close...” he strained as his body tensed with his approaching orgasm.

The pounding got louder as did their cries for release. “Fuck, Shinjiii..” y/n moaned leaning her head against his face on her neck. “I... I love you..” y/n said quietly. Those three words would've halted him, coming from anyone else. Coming from you though, he never would've expected you to say it first. “What?” he said, never stopping his thrusts. “I said, I lo..” “I love you Shinji,” Y/n said louder, squeezing his hands. “Oh shit... Fuck I'm gonna cum darlin',” “I love you too y/n,” he said hurriedly before claiming your mouth in a sweet kiss. Grunting repeatedly as his cock spewed his load inside of you, y/n could feel his shaft pulse with each ripple of his orgasm. The warm liquid filled her chasm with his juices.

Finalizing his kiss, his body dropped heavily on top of yours. Sweaty and out of breath, the both of you lay in stillness. The sound of his music still playing, the two of you slowly found your composure again.

Pulling out and leaning back on his knees once more, Shinji looked down at you bashful as ever. A cute smile found a place on his lips as he chuckled at the exchange of those words. Y/n looked up at him through her eyelashes, almost chuckling with him, “What's so funny darlin’,” she started again with her horrible impression, making Shinji laugh even further. “Nothin’ babe, I'll get you something to clean yourself up with,” he said cooly before swiftly finding a towel and bringing it back to you.

(...)

Hours had gone by it was late. Sleeping soundly in Shinjis arms y/n nuzzled into his chest comfortably. Shinji lay awake, his mind running wild and repeating those words over and over again as he caressed your back lazily with his fingers. Breaking his train of thought, there was a light tapping at the front door. Reaching for his phone and checking the time, 2:45 am his bright screen read, “Who the hell is knocking at this time of night,” Shinji huffed annoyed, untangling himself from you he pulled some sweatpants on and shambled to the front door, yawning.

Another light tapping followed by fits of laughing and shushing noises, made Shinji squint as he opened the door, he readied himself to tell someone off for disturbing his night with you. At the door stood Lisa, Kensei, Izuru, and Renji all of them drunken and swaying at the doorway. Shuhei was nowhere to be found, “what the hell do you guys want?” Shinji grumbled rolling his eyes. “Shinji?” all three of them said in unison staring wide-eyed, “What are YOU doing here?” Renji spewed, his words slurring together, incomprehensible to an untrained ear. They all stared in awe at Shinji as he leaned against the doorframe. “Wait I KNOW!” Lisa said out loud, unaware of her volume. “Are you and Y/n-chan dating?” she teased, “you guys owe me 20 bucks, I told you!” Lisa said matter-of-factly pushing each of the guy's shoulders.

Sighing and crossing his arms Shinji grinned, laughing at his drunk friends and their assumptions. “Yeah, I guess you could say that,” he responded, knowing exactly what he had to do next.

End🌸🔥

@ducksdoughnuts IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT ITS DONE NOW 😭😭 Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing this!

!!!BLEACH REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!!!