#Like. why does he have those? aghs

[smartylina]

Aww, is Kuzco still jealous? He doesn't need to anymore, she's staring to babble often at him too. Who's that Ramon again? As much as she likes to take care of others, she admits Kuzco's right. Taking care of oneself is not a crime sometimes. She's so grateful towards him for helping her see life in another perspective. Less stressy, more relaxy. Kuzco balances out Malina's responsible, kind of serious personality by making her learn there's some fun in life too. Malina blinks at the way he regarded her as she remembers that the day's not over. Maybe all that work made her lose track of time. Her lips curl into another smug grin as she removes one of her hands from his but still holds it with her other one.

This is the one time she has wanted him to be selfish and gave him the opportunity and he rejects it. Now that makes her lov-like him just a bit more.

"Ok then, sweetie. Then I shall remain your Empress for the time being". Malina grins back while he kisses the back of her hand, making her heart skip several beats as she tries not to blush. She drops her hand once he lets go and her eyes follow him until he stops at the door. Important servant things. Hah, alright alright, she ought to dismiss him so he can rest, however, she won't let him go before he gets a reward himself. which he must know what it is.

"What, you're leaving before giving your Empress a goodnight kiss? What kind of servant are you?" She states and walks again towards him. And without caring if there are other servants and maids around, she grabs his jaw with both hands and brings his lips to hers, she sighs happily before being the one this time to deepen the kiss.

Watching her take it all in makes all the extra work worth it, and he smiles as she wanders through the different rooms, looking it all over. Plumeria might just be up there with his favorite smells, now that he's surrounded by it. He was right that day, inside her locker; it's nice. Kuzco is still mid bow when she takes his hand, and he straightens himself up to watch her babble at him with a soft grin on his face. She never babbles like this-- at least not at him. Stupid Ramon.

He's glad she likes all of the little details, he had a feeling she might. While she isn't one for the opulence and the grandiose lifestyle he leads, (outside of all the high stress stuff, of course.) Kuzco will never forget how difficult it was for her to relax that time she asked him for his help. Like she's told him before; a good Emperor needs to know not only how to care for HIMSELF, but how to take care of OTHERS. She needs to learn the 'taking care of herself' part of the job, if she's going to be any good at it. That's all. And if he taught her before? There's no reason he can't teach her again. "No, no! No need to thank me, Empress. I'm just doing my job." Her offer is sweet, and while yes-- he is tempted. He's VERY, very tempted (especially with how it sounds!) -- he's determined NOT to make it all about himself, for once. "As amazing as that sounds, Your Highness, I'm NOT the Emperor. Remember? You're 'Empress for a day'-- last I checked that ends when the DAY ends." Kuzco grins and brings the back of her hand up to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss there before letting her go all together and taking a few steps backwards, towards the door. "This is your reward for all of your hard work today, enjoy it. I've got super important servant-y. . . servant type . . . things, to do!" It's a lie, but he does have the guest room reserved for foreign dignitaries set up for himself (complete with the missing money stuffed pillows from his real room!), and he's looking forward to getting off his feet. More than anything, he wants her to enjoy this aspect of the job AND his super big, fancy room that's been his forever but feels just a LITTLE bit lonely with no one to share it with, heh. "Soo, if I'm dismissed, your Highness. . . ? "

[ectoplasmer]

terrible horrible bad habit of looking at any of my f/os and going “pretty boy!!” over and over again almost instinctively

[mondaymelon]

₊⊹ 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐩 ! ♡. | xiao, kaveh, gorou, lyney, wriothesley x gn!reader

⤷ art by @/grimruu on twitter... i added the boops :> .. fluff, established relationship. dw its an actual fic ( just trsut me )

" boop ! "

— 𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎

he's startled, that's something certain. xiao's not used to random actions like this; shouldn't one move with purpose...?

blinking at you, his round eyes are more so filled with surprise than disdain. "what... what did you just-" yet... well, you've just tapped your finger to his nose, and now you're grinning like an idiot... truly, the hearts of mortals were something he'd never quite understand.

"it's fun!" yet again, you move forwards, and while xiao is expecting another "boop" from your finger, he's caught off guard when you give him a small kiss on the nose instead.

"boop."

xiao's voice is uncharacteristically faint, quiet. "ah..."

he hides his face behind a hand, trying to evade his clear embarrassment before it catches your eyes. "you're so... stupid."

... and you'd almost believe it, if it weren't for the evident flush dusted across the tips of his ears.

" boop ! "

— 𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇

he's well into his third drink by the time you boop his nose, and it takes him another few seconds and a lethargic blink or two before he even registers the action.

when he does, a silly smile spreads across his face, his already drunkenly flushed cheeks warming further. "booop?" the word slurs together, and a slow finger moves to boop you on your nose as well.

too bad, it misses the mark, and he ends up poking your upper lip, frowning when he does so. "ah, oops... lemme try again..." this time, he manages to find your nose. a smugly proud smile appears on his features thanks to the success.

god, he was so pathetic. you loved him for it.

cupping his cheek, you sneakily lean forward and press a kiss to his nose. his skin is warm to the touch. "boop." before he can strike back, you hit him with a double combo, this time kissing him on the lips.

"whuh.. no fair," his eyebrows furrow as he pouts childishly. "i wan..na... too..."

he falls asleep before he can finish his sentence, slumping onto the table and conking out immediately. as expected. you tuck his messy hair behind his ear with a fond smile. he'd have a hell of a headache in the morning. ah, but... tolerating his whines would be worth it — you'd gotten to kiss him, after all.

... his lips tasted like wine.

" boop ! "

— 𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐔

he jolts like he's been shocked, and you have to suppress a laugh at the sight. "e-eh, what was-?" one of his ears twitches subconsciously, and you can tell he's trying to maintain eye contact to the best of his abilities. hey, it wasn't everyday your lover swung by camp just to tap you on the nose... were you teasing him??

"it's a boop." you state it, matter-of-fact, and gorou only grows more helplessly confused. "boop." just like that, you poke him again. his eyes widen in realization (though he's far off the mark). agh, could it be that more rumors had spread of his "good luck", except this time, instead of rubbing his ears for good fortune, it's tapping his nose instead..?

you watch his eyes swirl with perplexion — really, what was the point in watching those highly-acclaimed entertainment films from fontaine when an entire life's worth of entertainment was right in front of you? "c'mon, don't tell me you've fallen for it too?"

...what was he even talking about? no matter, it was cute seeing him panic (though he'd disagree). you smile at him cheekily, "fallen? why, gorou, the only thing i've fallen for is you ~"

silence.

then the sound of someone choking. gorou upright sputters, his face hopelessly red, before springing forward and getting his revenge; that is, kissing you on the tip of your nose, too embarrassed to keep his eyes open while doing so.

"ugh, you're such a tease..."

... how could you not be, when he was so adorable?

" boop ! "

— 𝐋𝐘𝐍𝐄𝐘

he smiles, his eyes twinkling as they become upturned crescents. "oh? a tap to the nose..." he seems oddly delighted in the action, and perks up not long after, with a strange, mischievous shine in his eyes.

he shuffles through his signature deck of cards with a grin. "love, why don't you pick a card? any card from the deck, whichever one you want~"

you eye him suspiciously.

he has the demeanor of a cunning cat, one that if you turn your gaze away from for a mere second, is sure to cause trouble. well... he was your lover, so you should have some faith in him. drawing a card from the ones he's presented in his hands, you receive the two of hearts.

before you can even properly glance up from your cards, you're met with a faceful of brilliant red roses, each delicate petal perfectly curving in place and green, glistening leaves healthy and lush. lyney's the one behind it all, a smug smile on his lips, and before you can even open your mouth to speak, he leaps forward and swiftly kisses your nose.

"boop."

and he sticks his tongue out, smoothly tucking a rose (without thorns, mind you) into your hair.

hell, he was so smooth. your brain wasn't even able to register half his actions until half a minute after, and when you did, your face burned.

"haha~ what's wrong, love?"

... this guy was seriously dangerous for your heart.

" boop ! "

— 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘

he stares you dead in the eyes, in a sort of, "did you really just do that?" kind of way. it's not that he's disappointed, per say, but more so shocked; even siegewinnie wouldn't dare do such a thing like pokingg the duke's nose, (on second thought, maybe she would)... either way, he sits there in a sort of shell-shocked manner, the cup of tea he had begun to lift to his lips long forgotten. "you..."

"boop." you say it like it's all the explanation he needs. in case he doesn't understand, you'll be so generous as to say it a second time, nodding your head for extra confirmation. "boop."

he lets out a lighthearted sigh, one that makes it easy to tell he's on the edge of releasing a chuckle. crossing his arms over his desk and leaning over it, he grabs your chin with his fingers, gently lifting it to raise your gaze to his level.

"boop." this time, he's the one booping you, and he seems all too amused about it, a sly smile on his lips as he does it moves to do it once more. "boop."

hey, was he copying you-? the thought isn't able to completely form before your brain utterly short circuits; the reason? none other than the duke of the fortress of meropide kissing your nose, of course.

wriothesley's enjoying this way too much... yet he seems so utterly unaffected when he pulls away, settling back into his chair and taking a serene sip of his tea, like he hadn't just committed several war crimes against your heart.

... fuck, if it skipped too many beats, would you die??

(a/n) happy boop- i mean april fools dayyy !! mwah mwah watch me pull some "im quitting" shii next year :>

𝐭 𝐚 𝐠 𝐥 𝐢 𝐬 𝐭 : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader,@fiannee, @aether-darling, @ceneid, @avensuersa, @dainsleif-when-playable, @solxima, @sangoqueenkoko, @haliyamori ...

[justanotherfanfolks]

For the past few months, I’ve had this silly little headcanon/scenario for the 4th Birthday Line card art (the original, not the groovies) that I want to share now that we have everyone.

I like to imagine these pictures are like, official pictures the museum staff took of them. And considering this is a very fancy looking museum, uhhh, roll text:

Two Museum Workers:

“Wow, a visit from students of the prestigious Night Raven College!” (What could possibly go wrong?)

“Ok, I got the camera! Let’s take their photos!”

“Alright, beautiful! Perfect!”

“Excellent! Wonderful!”

“Ah lovely!” 

“This is easier than I thought!”

“Is- is that a macaron? I’m sorry, we have a strict no eating policy. Did he come in with that?”

“Why’s he posing with it?”

“He’s got a whole assorted platter of donuts! Seriously, how are they getting in here with that stuff!?”

“Kid, we’re already taking your picture! Why are you taking a selfie?”

“Are you yawning!? Hang on, we’ll take another- HEY COME BACK!”

“Did he get that chair from our security office? How’d he get in there?”

“Says he got permission? I mean it checks out, but how?”

“Please, no drinks in- is that a flying carpet?!”

“Wait, is that pedestal from our Olympus exhibit? How did he get that?!”

“Where did he get all of those?! Is that where the other kid got his from? Hey buddy, we have a strict no eating- where did he go?”

“Took the stool with him.”

“Why does he, hey, why do you have a whole platter of cupcakes? For Waka-sama? Listen, I don’t know who this- AGH HE’S LOUD! Fine, we'll take it like this. No, I don’t want you to regale me with tales about him!”

“Oh my gosh, it’s Vil Schoenheit!”

“He stole one of our chairs-”

"He can keep it! Take the picture!"

"How did he get a whole tart in here?! No! NO! WHO IS CHECKING THE GUESTS IN?!”

“Hey, no magic next to the paintings!”

“Should the fact this one has the carpet now concern me?”

“What the- where did he get that? Is that from our display?”

“Why do they keep grabbing the decor?”

“FINALLY! FINALLY A NORMAL BOY! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!”

“Did- did he just fall asleep?”

“I got the shot, just move him over.”

“Is that a robot?”

“Who cares, he’s not breaking the rules, take the shot!”

“He has a cupcake, should we say something?”

“No no, that’s Malleus Draconia. If he wants a cupcake, he gets the cupcake.”

"You know what? He's fine! He doesn't have any food! He's smiling politely! The stool gives him better height anyway!"

"OK I got the shot, but he's kind of staring at you now."

“Ok, for the last time, THERE IS NO FOOD ALLOWED ON THE PREMISES!”

“Ok, say cheese! Three, two-”

*sets off party popper*

“AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

“Ok , you know what! I’m done! I’M DONE! These NRC boys are too much for me! Have you seen the way they’re staring and smirking at the paintings, there’s something wrong with them!”

[firegirl888101]

Insatiable Madness

Diverted-Dimension (Christmas 2024)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

Why am I back here again!? Take me back to the canon!

Reader is Gender Neutral!

"Finally!" You cheered, stepping back to admire the Christmas tree in the corner of your living room.

"It looks good." Pantalone commented, looking at all the trinkets placed on the tree. "Although, I believe this gadget would look better placed there... And this bauble, yes, hmm, perhaps on the branch above rather than--"

Y'know, it always takes one person to ruin everyone else's happiness doesn't it? Especially when their name is Pantalone. You rolled your eyes, ignoring his fiddling with what you considered a complete and beautiful tree.

Let's just hope Columbina doesn't see him fiddling with her decorations. For Pantalone's sake, you pray she takes five extra minutes in the bathroom so he can have a safe getaway when he's finished with something he sees as necessary.

Anyway, you've been preparing for Christmas day tomorrow. You wanted to put up the tree earlier, not wanting to leave it this late, however being busy babysitting and making sure all the Harbingers go to work with a happy mood sure takes up a lot of time. Not only does it feel like you're playing a very dangerous version of the Sims, but more importantly, it sucks that when all of them leave you have to entertain the others that don't go to work in the first place.

"It feels like the tree is missing something." Dottore chimed in, standing back with a finger on his bottom lip.

"Please don't say that, The Regrator is already driving himself mad with his own activities." Arlecchino stated 

Ignoring those two... They're right, something seems wrong with the tree. But you used everything in the box, what could be missing --

Oh, of course! How could you forget!?

"It's missing an angel on top!" You pointed out, walking over to the Christmas box and rummaging around.

After a while of digging and loud crashing noises consisting of you throwing out whatever you thought could also be added, you found a dusty china angel missing a hand.

"Agh, this won't do." You scolded yourself. "We'll have to go with a star instead. I'll have to cut one out later."

"Cut one out? How are you going to cut a star out of the sky?" Childe asked with a bewildered expression.

"They mean they'll cut one out of paper you damn idiot." Scaramouche glared out of the corner of his eye.

"I often see the Children of the Hearth doing something similar when I pass by..." Signora thought to herself out loud, leaning on one of the arms of the sofa.

"Yes, the children love cutting out different shapes and animals. It just so happens stars are one of the easiest things to make." Arlecchino nodded in agreement.

If it's so damn easy, why don't you do it for me?? You grumbled with an angry grin. It took you a few days to learn how to cut a good looking star out of paper due to your clutzy fingers, how dare they call it 'easy' in front of you!

"Hm? Why do you look angry at me?"

"No reason." You answered her, sharply turning your head away from her tilted one. "Do I even have any paper left? Ugh, I might have to use lined paper and paint it using gold nail varnish if push comes to shove."

"Absolutely not." Sandrone interrupted you. "That sounds messy and unnecessarily more difficult than if you just bought yellow card."

"And where do you propose I get this yellow card? Out of my arse?"

"No." She looked repulsed. "The shop? I saw some in an isle."

"When and why did you go into the corner shop?" You caressed your head, sighing when hearing her solution.

"That's unimportant."

"Sure it is. Anyway, I need to start thinking about how I'm going to cook Christmas dinner--"

"Oh no you don't." Scaramouche interrupted you with a cold voice. "The last time you cooked a genuine meal that didn't include those 'instant noodles', you poisoned everyone who has an organic stomach."

"No way, the Balladeer cares enough about me to not want to see me bedridden again?" Childe gushed with a chuffed smile.

"That's not important!" You raised your voice with flushed cheeks. "How did you know that what I cooked was 'instant' noodles? I never told you that!"

"I asked a staff member in the shop down the street when I saw the exact same package for sale in one of the pasta isles."

"Oh my god, how many of you have been in that damn shop without me!?"

The room stayed silent, some looking away with a cringe whilst others looked at you with unbothered faces.

“Do I count? I’ve never left the house.” Capitano raised his hand innocently.

"Unbelievable." You cried to yourself dramatically.

"I can't believe he's still fiddling." Pulcinella sighed with judging eyes, watching the banker radically move around the tree mumbling to himself like a robot given an impossible task.

"So this is what happens when you don't give him something to do after a long period of time. Lesson learnt." Pierro sweated, coughing into a clenched fist with shut eyes.

"It's not my fault." He turned to the group with hysterical eyes, every so often one twitching. Considering his eyes are always closed, you’re impressed that his mania has managed to do the impossible. "The Decider won't let me do one of the things I'm best at, manipulating an economy. Denying me access to undermining this country's government is making me go mad!"

"What a lunatic." You ignored him, eyeing his antics as nothing more than a regular occurrence at this point.

"So, we're up for cutting a star for the tree then?" You turned back to the group.

"It's your decision and your tree, so of course." Signora shrugged.

"I'm baaaack!~" Columbina burst through the door like a canary, singing with a pep in her step.

She stopped when she saw Pantalone running around the tree, her energy from earlier vanishing as fast as a bird when hearing a gunshot.

"Erm... It's not what it looks like." He turned around slowly, feeling her menacing and dangerous energy piercing his back.

He put his hands in the air, his smile shaking in fear.

"It better not be what it looks like." Her smile contrasted his own. "Because it seems you've been touching something I specifically warned all not to touch.~"

"He's dead, he's actually dead." Childe commented on the sidelines.

"Amen."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Sandrone left to go get yellow card whilst Columbina forced you to tear down the Christmas tree and start decorating it from scratch. She said it was a punishment for you also, due to letting him rearrange it despite hearing her warning. What bullshit, she just couldn't be bothered to do it again. Anyway, Capitano helped you hold the christmas tree up so you could wrap the tinsel around it without trouble. What a nice guy… even though he technically isn’t helping you with what counts most.

"I don't understand why we're cutting out stars. Can't we just use me as the angel?" Columbina giggled to herself.

"No, that would be weird." You frowned at her. "What I don't understand is why everyone is cutting stars with me. Didn't the majority of you say this is going to be boring? Do something else!"

"The 'something else' you're talking about was also boring." Scaramouche picked up his pair of scissors, tracing his finger on the sharp side.

“I’d much rather cut something up than count how many particles are in a cloud.”

“What does that even mean!?”

“Anyway,” Dottore coughed with an irritated stretching smile. “I propose we make this a competition.”

“Of all the childish suggestions–” Arlecchino was cut off.

“I agree, I agree!” Columbina nodded with a happy smile. “It can’t be too hard, maybe we should have a reward for who wins the competition?”

“Although I find the idea of a competition to be senseless, a reward does sound quite… boosting.” Pantalone thought out loud, a greedy smile on his lips.

“This is not happening.” You sighed to yourself, head planted onto the table with exasperation radiating off of your slumped form.

“But what reward could we put on offer? I’m not against competition, heck, I encourage it! But what could we all fight for which would allow us to fight at our strongest the whole time?” Childe leaned against his chair.

The Harbingers thought to themselves, the room erupting in silence with the occasional cough or sniff. All of a sudden, their heads turned and looked at you. Feeling their gazes burning into you, you looked up from the table to see them expectantly eyeing you.

“Ohhh no. No way in whatever thoughts you’re all sharing am I getting involved in this. I’m not becoming some trophy you can flaunt for the rest of the evening.” You denied them.

“But you’re the perfect solution!” Childe playfully pouted.

“Quit torturing them, Childe.” Signora scolded the young ginger. “I propose this; let whoever wins ask The Decider one question. That question can be related to anything, the future or the past.”

“Hmm, but how would we know whether The Decider wouldn’t lie to us?” Dottore suggested.

“I’m staying out of this one.” Pulcinella put his hands in the air, leaving the room. “You youngsters go have fun, I’ll sit this one out.”

“Rooster, I would suggest staying to supervi–”

“So you can go back to that dirty office you keep closing yourself in to work? No thank you, I shall handle your paperwork today. You supervise this time.” He gave the director a harsh glare, making sure to purposefully hit him with his walking stick before walking away.

“Sometimes I can’t tell whether the Rooster is secretly a teenage girl or is just simply strange…” Pierro muttered to himself. Sighing.

“How about both, mixed in with the fact that he’s a psycho with more control issues than you think.”

“Hm? You think even more than the Regrator?”

“Deffo.” You clicked your tongue. “He just hides it because he’s a champ like that.”

“Don’t change focus!” Scaramouche raised his voice. “I order you to answer me. You will tell the truth to the victor of the contest, no?”

“Hold on, didn’t we agree to ask our own questions once we deliver them to the Tsaritsa?” Childe questioned.

“That was just to get you to not hound The Decider back when we first found them.” 

“Fine.” You agreed with an eye roll, secretly crossing your fingers behind your back like a five year old. You’ll probably just make something up that sounds accurate when the winner asks their question. You’re betting that Sandrone will win this though, this kind of has something to do with her job after all.

“It’s decided then!” Columbina clapped in delight. “The Decider and The Director will be our judges. We’ll work for 10 minutes to create a star suitable to be put on the tree, then will be judged to see who has the best!”

“This is not gonna go well…” You said, trying your best to cover the shaky smile on your face. This is the best! You’ll just pick someone who won’t ask a question you don’t mind answering! Thank you Columbina for giving you this chance.

“You’re telling me!” Pulcinella shouted from the other room, sarcasm oozing like tar glooping down a slope.

“Count us down, count us down!” Columbina couldn’t contain her excitement, her body practically vibrating.

“Alright, alright… Ugh, I regret this… On your marks, get set, cut!”

“Seriously? ‘Cut’?” Pierro turned to you.

“What was I supposed to say!?”

The Harbingers sat at the table immediately started cutting, the sound of card shredding and small pieces emitting everywhere. Guess who’s going to have to clean that up? You thought with a frown, watching card pile up in the small crevasses in your carpet.

Looking around at the Harbinger’s cutting paper, you realise one was just sitting there watching the others work.

“Uhh, Capitano? Aren’t you going to begin?” You asked him.

“No.” His deep voice answered in return. “I am not going to join this display, no matter how entertaining it will be for you. Firstly, my fingers won’t fit in the holes of the scissors. And secondly, I have no question to ask you so entering just for victory would be pointless.”

“Brother, your fingers can’t be that big.” You deadpanned, letting your mind wander a bit too far with the thought.

He simply crossed his arms and continued to watch the others, ignoring you from then on. Oh well, he’s not interfering or arguing back like a child so you’ll let it happen. Besides, it looks like he quite likes watching so it’s the least you could do.

Pierro put an arm on your shoulder, getting your attention. You turned to make eye-contact and saw him hesitating in what to say to you.

“Do you need a defibrillator? You look like you’re having a seizure.”

“Who do you think is going to make the best star?” He said after, not registering your insult you said a few seconds prior.

“Wow. Did it really take you that long to think of what to say to me?”

“Quiet.” He warned you.

“Hmm… Who do I think is going to win?” You mumbled out loud, pretending to give it some thought. “Screw it, I’m not going to pretend. Sandrone’s going to make the best one because she does this kind of thing as a job.”

“Hah!” She guffawed after hearing your predictions, continuing her cutting with a content smile.

“Buuuut, that’s not what makes a star special. It isn’t just perfection, but passion and hope. I want to see how unique some people will make it… within reason of course.”

“I wasn’t expecting such an intelligent reply.” Pierro sweated. “Here I was, ready to scold you.”

“It’s like that’s all you can ever bloody think about when it comes to me.” You deadpanned.

“You give me no choice half of the time.” He sighed with a shaking head. “Your choices are often questionable and must be corrected. Would you rather have a physical punishment instead?”

Is this guy nuts?

“No… No, I would not.”

“That's what I thought.” He turned to look at the competition.

“Decider, help me out here.” Scaramouche clicked his fingers, beckoning you like an old woman would to her juvenile cat.

“Do I look like your pet?” You recoiled in disgust.

“I’ll let you leave the house to go to that dumb park you like if you help me right now.”

“I’m on my way!” You ran over to his side, peering down to see the mess of a star he’s created. It’s not bad at all, it’s actually your style - you like it a lot! What on earth could he need help for?

When you peered down to his design, you felt a cold unnatural hand grasp the side of your head and pull it closer to his face.

“Tell me how you like them.” He whispered. “Would you rather me add more detail or remove it? And don’t lie to me or I’ll kill you.”

“Pierro, The Balladeer is cheating! He’s bribing The Decider!” Sandrone pushed her chair back and stood up dramatically, pointing her scissors at the offender.

“Hey, no fair!” Childe whined. “If he gets to bribe them, let me bribe them too!”

“If anyone is to bribe the Decider, it should be me. I am the richest man in Teyvat after all.” Pantalone shrugged whilst lazily cutting.

“Correction: Ningguang is the richest in terms of all. You only count as the richest when it comes to being a man.” You pointed out. “And besides, I would never take your dirty money.”

Piero coughed loudly to quieten everyone down, all in the room turning to him like a deer in headlights. He waited until everyone stopped complaining and then spoke.

“Do continue with your cutting, you have less than a minute left.” He gestured to the timer. “And no bribery. The first to test my patience and even attempt to do so will be put under experimentation during the rest of our stay here and our return.”

“Oh, by all means, bribe away!” Dottore laughed at the Harbinger’s around him, silently cutting.

Huh? Less than a minute left? But when you last looked at the time they had at least 8 minutes left. You checked the timer once more, and found fat greasy fingerprints on buttons that weren’t there prior. You turned to the old man with an incredulous face, mouth wide open. He caught your staring, and put a finger on his lips with a small almost unnoticeable smile.

Pierro, you cheeky bastard. I love you for this.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

The stars were laid out on the dining table, each Harbinger stood behind their own creations. Sadly but also un-sadly, some Harbingers were too slow and couldn’t finish their star in time. By some, you mean Pantalone and surprisingly Sandrone.

“I’m not going to hear the end of this.” Sandrone had her face buried in her hands, looking at her creation with malice. “In defence, I value time to craft perfection. Announcing a set time dampens my methods and results in mechanics such as this one. Ugh, what a waste!” She threw the craft off of the table, the star unravelling itself immediately.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.” You sarcastically waved at her embarrassment. “And you, Pantalone? What’s your excuse?”

“The scissors you gave me were tampered with! I call for–”

“So I’m the problem? Okay, whatever…”

You walked down the table, looking at each star neutrally then nodding and moving onto the next. Now, you’re not an expert, but did they really think you wouldn’t notice? They all look the exact same! They all look like copied versions of Scaramouche’s design! When watching him try to bribe you, they must have thought you liked his design the best and copied him to have a fair chance. Well, they’re wrong! You’re just going to pick the person who will give you the least trouble when answering their question, jokes on them!

…That was your original plan. After looking at all the stars, you felt a new motivation when noticing one person didn’t copy and stuck to their own principles. Also they may or may not be the only person to not take this seriously and you want to mess with the others a little bit. Pierro will agree with you, he’s the type to disregard any copycats so he won’t have trouble with your choice at all.

“Okay, I’ve decided on my winner.” You announced, stepping back to view the expectant Harbingers.

“Arlecchino, you win.”

“WHAT!?”

“But why?” She asked, not looking surprised or pleased. “I could care less about an answer to a question, nor do I care about winning this childish competition.”

“That’s actually why I picked you. And because your star is an original design - sorry Scara, but uhh, you might have won if the others didn’t copy.”

“Of course.” He grumbled, glaring at the Harbingers staring at him. “One day, I’m going to murder all of you fools and sell your parts to people far worse than Dottore! I’ll get back at all of you for ruining my chances!”

“Anyway,” You tuned his violent voice out. “Yeah, you’re the winner. Pierro, what do you think?”

“...I agree.” He said in a quieter tone. “Now, I will be returning to my office to continue what’s left of my work… and review what The Rooster has already completed.”

As he was walking away, you turned back to notice the majority of Harbingers had walked away to go back to what they were doing prior, bored after realising they wouldn't be able to profit with staying around for longer.

“Do I get to ask my question now?” Arlecchino tapped her elbow impatiently with folded arms.

“So you do want the reward?”

“Despite it not being my intention when joining, I would indeed like something that was promised. Whether it be an accident or a purposeful decision.”

“Okay, fine. Ask away then.” You shrugged.

“As you must already be aware, the majority of my Children from the Hearth hail from Fontaine, the nation of justice. I won’t lie to you, I’m beginning to grow increasingly concerned with the prophecy where–”

“--where the whole nation will be flooded and all the people will be killed except the archon? Yeah, I know of it. Your point?” You finished her explanation, already having an idea of where the conversation was heading.

“Then you will understand I care deeply about the future of my children. Tell me, will I succeed in convincing the Tsaritsa to visit Fontaine to retrieve the Gnosis in place of Rosalyne?”

“Of course you’d use the question to ask about your ‘precious children’.” Scaramouche mocked. “Just how idiotic can you be?? This is your chance to ask about the future!”

You gave a harsh glare with icy eyes in his direction before sighing, a smile on your face. “Yeah.”

“Hm? You have to give a higher detailed response to that.”

“You go to Fontaine, Childe coincidentally also there for his own personal motivations which may or may not be important. The whole time you’re there, you’re investigating Furina and the prophecy. Long story short, that I WILL NOT be elaborating, the prophecy is sorted and the people are saved. This includes the children in the House of the Hearth.” You explained, pleased with the question she asked you and your own personal answer. Wow, you can even impress yourself sometimes!

“Excellent.” She sighed in relief, her face unchanging. “Thank you. But I do have to ask, is the Hydro Archon really working to prevent the flood?”

“That’s two questions. But fine,” You shrugged. “You can trust her. Everything is proceeding to the plan, although interrogation and suspicion do indeed accelerate it to completion.” You thought out loud, noticing her questioning gaze and smiling deeper.

“That’s enough serious stuff. When are we going to discuss presents? Now that the tree is up we need to put the presents under it!” 

“Uh… We’re flat-out poor. We can’t afford presents.” Childe shrugged. “Guess you’ll have to accept my love as a present instead!”

“Ew, what are you, five? Wait… Don’t come over here! Not after saying something like that!” You panicked, watching him run over to you at full speed and choosing to run away.

“Scaramouche you know how you said you’d take me to the park? I’m cashing in that favour right now!”

[maneskinwh0re]

“one more word.” ~ butch!wolverine x ladypool!reader this is just a wlw honda odyssey scene bc i need butch wolverine to be real. i also aimed to write them in character! give feedback babes plsssss

cw: outdated cultural references, fourth wall breaking, nsfw, blood, f!ngering, strap!sex, idk just lotta gay shit xx

wc: 4.3k...👁️👁️

"get. in the fucking. car."

"it'll get you there safe and sound!" nicepool reassures with a loving pat to the top of the grey honda odyssey. "lil betsy always does." his eyes then fall to dogpool, who is held tightly in your arms. "you're gonna have to give me my dog back, though..."

"i know," you reply matter-of-factly. "listen-" you start before mary puppins places a paw on your hand. "yes, child... if you ever want to give her up or if she needs a new home, or if something should happen to you, i'd love to be her mama."

nicepool only wheezes at your remark. "what would ever happen to me?"

"lots of stuff," you reply with a shrug, smiling innocently under your red mask.

as soon as he realizes your seriousness, his smile fades and looks to the older woman standing to his right in an ask for help. the wolverine lets out a huff as she pushes herself off the honda and moves to grab the dog from your grasp.

"n-no! we're running away- agh- the corn was too dense, girl!" you say in apologies to mary puppins and watch sadly as laura hands the you-variant over to the other, nicer-you-variant.

you begrudgingly get in the passenger seat of the shitty car, waving goodbye to dogpool. the obnoxious sound of you singing "we'll meet again" is muffled by the car windows as laura drives you both away.

time passes. maybe 15 minutes, maybe an hour. doesn't matter, reader— don't worry about it. you haven’t been paying attention to the time because you’ve been sneaking quick gazes at the wolverine in the driver’s seat to your left. the way her brown hair curls up on either sides of her head looks so cute. yet the way her large, gloved hands grip the steering wheel causes your mind to wander other places. all you know now is there’s been a lingering thought poking at your brain since you picked this wolverine up from that bar in her universe.

"okay i'm just gonna ask. what's with the suit? first thing i did when i flamed out: i took mine off."

"drop it." laura mutters.

"it's not that ugly..."

"stop talkin about my suit."

"did you make it yourself? been there!"

"quit. now." the tension in her voice is rising.

"the x-men make you wear it? those sons of fuckin bitches. they are not your friends, i'll tell ya that. friends don't let friends leave the house looking like they fight crime for the los angeles rams-"

"shut the fuck up about the suit," she snaps.

"woahwoahwoah watch your frown lines, angel baby." you back off, lifting your hands in a motion of surrender. "i'm just trying to bond a little bit-"

"yeah? well then talk about something else."

"fine!"

there's an uncomfortable silence between you two, only for a moment before you play around, making spiderman web motions with your gloved hands. you just can’t help but annoy the woman next to you, it’s too much fun. it’s like your duty as passenger princess.

"stop it," she snaps again soon enough.

"why? don't wanna get distracted seeing my fingers in this motion?" you tease, moving your middle and ring finger back and forth. laura only scoffs at the sexual innuendo. "ahh, the natural hand position of the sapphics." you turn to look out the car window and make eye contact with the reader. "is that why so many masc lesbians are obsessed with spiderman? i guess only earth-616 knows the correlation..."

and wait- if i'm supposedly you, the reader, but as ladypool-- then how am i breaking the fourth wall? gasp! a fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break... that's like- sixteen walls... am i talking to myself? or talking to myself? whatever. anyway i know why you're here, you slut. let's make conversation by pushing wolvie's buttons some more, yeah?

"if they could fix your world, what's the first thing you're gonna do when you get outta here? some rubbing alcohol shots? maybe a wiper fluid chaser?"

laura's gaze slowly turns to you. "what did you say?"

"i said when you get back, what's the first thing you're gonna do-"

"no no, before that."

"if-" you catch yourself. shit. "-they can fix your world?"

with an aggressive slam on the break, your seatbelt doesn't even have time to prevent your head from colliding with the dashboard. and as the car stops, you know there's nothing that can save you from the rage behind wolverine's tone.

"what do you mean if?" she asks through gritted teeth, body fully turned to face you.

"i mean-"

"you lied to me. you don't have a fucking clue if they could help me fix things. do you?"

"no, but i mean-" you start to defend yourself before three metal claws impale your thigh, and probably extend under you all the way through to your seat. "agh- fuck! fuck! i didn't lie!"

"you lied!"

"no! i made an educated wish!"

laura only tilts her head at your defense, eyebrows furrowing.

"because i need you," you continue as you unfold the photo that was in your pocket and hold it up for her to see. "this is why. right here. cause if we don't do something, they die. i don't know anything about saving worlds, and why would i even care? cause my entire world is right here in this picture. it's only nine people, and i have no idea how to save it alone. i know how to fuck people up for money but you- YOU know how to save them... at least the other wolverine did-" at that last comment, laura twists her claws in your thigh, striking enough pain for more curses to escape your mouth. "f-fuck! ah- i guess i'm stuck with the worst one-"

"did you just say you made an educated... fucking wish?"

"they call me the merc with the mouth. they don't call me truthful timmy the blowjob queen of sass catoo-"

the three metal blades are quickly removed from your thigh only to be brought up next to your face. laura's shaky breath exercises seem to be the only thing keeping her from slicing you apart.

"one more word... please, give me one." her guttural voice is a low warning. you wait a moment as if thinking to a random word generator in your brain.

"~gubernatorial~" you say simply before cowaring behind flailing arms when laura prepares to stab you in the face, only fake you out. her breaths are deeper, more steady as if she's trying to calm herself.

"you know what? you're a fucking joke... no wonder the avengers didn't take you, or the x-men or fuckin anyone. i mean you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. i have never met a sadder, more attention-starved, jabbering, little prick in my entire life. and that says a lot 'cause i've been alive for over two hundred fucking years." the volume in her voice begins to rise with each word, striking your emotions further and further as you sit there speechless, yet her anger keeps rising. "and i'll tell ya- that villain chick was right about one thing: you will NEVER save the world. you couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper! and motherfucker i wish i could say you'd die alone, but it's one of GOD'S best jokes that you can't die! except that's all on all of US!"

she hits nerve after nerve. the pain in your chest hurts too fucking bad. you are not only speechless, you never want to speak again. you have millions of words to say yet none at all.

how fucking dare she bring up vanessa like that? who does laura think she is? no fucking hero, that's for goddamn sure.

"you got nothing to say, mouth?" she asks, almost out of breath from yelling accusations.

all you can manage to say is one sentence. and she doesn’t even fucking deserve the warning too. "i'm gonna fight you now."

wolverine only snorts, a pitiful laugh towards your remark. "oh, are you?"

you take note how a quick punch to her nose shuts her right up, and watch in satisfaction how blood trickles out her nostril down to her upper lip. your small victory is cut short by her fist colliding to the same spot on your own nose. she pushes you to the window and grabs the back of your mask, then slams your face down onto the center head unit multiple times. different radio stations flick back and forth as you make contact with the buttons and nozzles, eventually landing on a song from the original 'grease' soundtrack.

♡ last gore x nsfw warning !! :3 ♡

you lift your hand to grab one of your swords but another punch to the cheek causes your vision to cloud. by the time you come to your senses, laura has buckled your seatbelt and is digging her left claw into your stomach, twisting her hand slowly.

“not talkin’ now, are ya?” she growls before withdrawing her claws and moving to stab you again. pulling the lever on the side of your car seat, you fall backwards to quickly dodge her blow. you kick your foot against her shoulder to keep her back, and then tightly wrap your legs around her head. another three blades enter your side in a sudden motion, causing you to release your chokehold.

“agh! you dirty bitch!” you shout before kicking her out the front windshield of the honda. you laugh and point as she rolls and tumbles through the leaves and dirt. as soon as she gets up, you unsheathe your swords while she sprints back to you. she’s a fucking animal—ramming herself into the front of the car, causing the airbag to go off on your stomach and send you flying back into the reclined seat.

laura jumps through the broken windshield and lands claws first on top of your already bloodied body. slash after slash, you both further each others’ injuries until you flip laura over and pin her down to the seat. there is surprise in her eyes with a hint of something else that you can’t quite pinpoint. trying to catch your breath, she only looks up at you with a ratted smile, as if amused to see you attempting to kill her. blood stains her face and fanged teeth, and her short hair is tangled and damp with sweat. fuck—it’s a sight. with your elbow against her chest, you’re still close enough to smell her alcohol-tainted breath.

“need a mint, you preening slut?” you ask before you are flying through the sunroof of the honda and falling to the ground outside the car. after kicking yourself up, your little wolvie gestures for you to come back with a simple hand wave behind the window. who are you to keep her waiting? throwing the swords over your shoulders, you take out your baby knives before running back to the car and jumping through the window.

broken glass and blood is everywhere, but neither of you care. you’re both having too much fun trying to murder the other as you take turns regenerating. it’s a pointless waste of time and energy. a total meaningless circle of fighting and healing.

you pin laura through the broken windshield and onto the front hood of the car, stabbing her shoulder and arms repeatedly with a knife. the sleeves of her suit eventually fall apart, fabric scattering and leaving her muscular arms to your gaze. so clearly you’re distracted. she grabs your wrist behind her and heaves your arm over her head to hold you in her place for a moment to catch her breath.

she then drags you by the belt from across the car and holds you down with her body in the back seat. her claws sink through the red fabric and into your sides. again. and again. the repetitive motions of the sharp metal soon causes a big tear in the fabric of your suit, exposing the skin under your breast. it seems as if neither of you notice at first, continuously fighting until another stretch from her pinning your arms above your head causes a terrible ripping sound. you both stop and look down, unsure on who has the decency to yield the fight first.

wolverine pauses for a moment, hovering over your bare tit before suddenly attacking your nipple with her mouth. there is nothing gentle about it, and you can’t tell if her actions are still a way of fighting with the harsh ways her sharp teeth nip and bite.

you lay there for a moment in shock, chest heaving up and down in short spurts as you try to breathe. your hands drop the knives to the car floor behind you, yet your wrists are still trapped in the wolverine’s grip. before you can think to stop it, a breathy whimper escapes your lips. the sound pricks laura to come to her senses and looks up at you with a flushed expression.

fucking hell. if you weren’t okay with what’s happening, you would’ve said something by now. even laura knows that—considering how fucking chatty you are.

“were ya hungry, peanut? needed a mid-fight snack?” you tease, tilting your head with a raised brow.

“i didn’t say i was finished.” she smirks before lowering her head to your chest again. her tongue circles and flicks at your nipple, treating it oh so lovingly before biting and pulling at it so fucking roughly. you chew on your bottom lip to muffle your own moans—all because you’re too stubborn to let her know how fucking good it feels.

she’s holding herself back, yet you kick her chest and propel her weight backwards onto the head unit, while the momentum pushes you the opposite direction into the third row of seats. as she falls, the grease song playing from the radio is muted, leaving you two to a short-lived silence.

"i was wrong—the honda odyssey fucks hard,” you say, rolling your head back and cracking your neck in the process. looking back to laura, you usher her to you with a teasing two-finger motion. “too bad you don't, needle dick.”

“oh, we’re just getting started, bub,” she replies, eyeing your manspread position before lunging to you again.

calling her an animal is to say the fucking least. but you’re no better. she rips and tears your suit, not giving a single fuck in the world that you may need to keep it in tact for later in the plot line. she pulls the tough fabric apart, exposing your tits to her lingering eyes. it’s like a switch is flipped. all of a sudden she can’t get enough, wanting- needing to see more of you. for a moment, you just let her. your belt is removed followed by your pants all while you just lay back and watch her do the work. soon you’re only in your black underwear, smirking under your red and black mask at how fucking needy she looks. her callused hands grip your waist, easily pulling you up to her as her mouth finds your other nipple.

“you’re not you when your hungry. and clearly, you always seem incredibly hungry, wolvie.”

“shuh du phvck uh.” is what you make of her boob-drunk gibberish and assume she’s simply cussing you out.

“huh? couldn’t quite catch that. y’ know you really shouldn’t talk with your mouth full-”

a large, gloved hand muffles your masked mouth before her lips release your tit with a pop.

“off,” she says. you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and she must be able to tell by your silence, causing her to elaborate quickly while her free hand lingers on the black lace of your underwear. “i don’t want a damn word out of your filthy mouth until you’ve taken these off. if you want me to fuck you, you’re gonna have to let me.”

fucking hell. panties are soaking wet right now.

you slowly nod your head in her restrictive grip, and lift your hips to remove the damp fabric from your body. damp from blood or sweat or something else… who fucking knows and who fucking cares. you toss them to the side and immediately pull laura closer to you. her harsh kisses mark your neck and collarbone before she wets her middle finger with her tongue and starts to rub quick circles on your clit. you almost push her away, her starting speed too overstimulating at first, but you soon get used to it, bucking your hips in a physical ask to move faster.

“keep still, sweetheart. that’s it,” fuck even her praise is still low and demanding somehow. you wrap your hands around her hairy forearm, hissing curses as you feel yourself grow closer and closer to the edge.

“fuck- you know, i bet you’re a pretty good dj in some other univers- oh my god!” your silly quip is cut short by her pushing one finger into you. then another. and before you know it, you’re a blubbering mess as you soak her hand as well as the car seat beneath you. her mouth is against your masked ear, shushing your witticism. white rings of cum coat up to her knuckles while her thumb resumes a quick pace on your clit.

banter is over as quiet whimpers replace your usual chatterbox routine. her large fingers feel so much better than your own, and then that’s where she leaves you—fingers curling inside your cunt causing your brain to see stars. your orgasm hits you hard, but not as hard as she does—a rough slap to your face intensifies every sensation, leaving you pained like putty in her grasp as you come down from your high. “don’t got much to say now, huh?”

your eyes focus on her hair and how it twirls up on both sides—the classic hairstyle for any and all wolverine’s across the multiverse. “why do~you style~your hair like that?” your voice slurs with dizzy haze, and laura only looks down at your drunken state quizzically. “were ya going f’ wolf? ‘cause it makes ya look more like a cat. like my little meow meow~”

a growl creeps from the back of her throat before three claws find a home—digging into the flesh on your shoulder.

“shit! you angry ‘bout it, mama?” you ask teasingly before watching her slowly remove her belt. “no- not the belt! i won’t be a naughty girl, i swear!”

“don’t be dramatic,” she scoffs as she tosses the belt aside and straddles you again.

“that’s kinda my job. hashtag drama queen. hashtag full-time. ‘round the clock. just like how your full time job is hiding a fully comic accurate superhero suit under your clothes for when its use comes once every twenty fucking years.”

that switched something in her. she yanks your mask off your head and glares down into your eyes. then a smirk sneaks its way onto her lips. fuck. what does she know that you don’t?

“you think this suit is the only thing i keep under my clothes?” your jaw tenses when laura unzips her pants and allows her strap to spring out to your view. it has to be at least eight to nine inches, the color matches her skin tone and the base of it connects to the black harness buckled around her boxers.

“marvel jesus h. christ! where did you even get that thing? the prop table from the set of alien?!"

you half-expect an answer, but she only lifts your mask and forces a mouthful of the red fabric down your throat, leaving your fear-factored size question hanging in the air. “there… silence is nice. isn’t it?” you’ve lost your voice, but you don’t protest. your frustrated whimpers are muffled and shaky breaths escape through your nose as laura traces her dick up and down your wetted lips. “just relax, beautiful,” she whispers as she slips the tip into you. the tone of her voice is teasing, clearly loving how much power she so easily has over you. pushing in deeper, her pace stays agonizingly slow, as if she’s having to think about controlling every thrust. your eyes follow the grinding movements of her hips and your legs instinctively wrap around her waist. as laura starts to speed up, your backside rubs against the car seat. trying to find a sense of stability, your hands scatter up the butch’s clothed torso and eventually grip her broad shoulders. you can’t help but buck your hips again, no longer ashamed of how fucking needy you look doing so. one of her hands claw at the shoulder of the seat behind you while the other has a strong hold on your hip, guiding your body with hers. guiding soon turns to holding and holding soon turns to pinning. not only is she now chasing her high, but she will do whatever she needs to get to it.

“agh~ fuck. is this what you wanted? to be wrapped around me like this? you’re so pathetic, it’s adorable.”

when all you can do is moan in reply, laura knows she’s fucked you stupid, but still long ways away from being done with you. she suddenly stops altogether and pulls out of you, chuckling quietly when you groan due to your pleasure being delayed. she turns you over and props you up on your knees, then holds you down by the back of the neck with one hand and finds a firm grip on your ass with the other. her relentless thrusts continue, causing a repetitive sound of her hips slamming into the backs of your thighs. every time she pulls back, you follow her dick—leaning to her to chase that friction.

she hits nerve after nerve. the pain hurts too fucking good. your words are still muffled against your ladypool mask, the fabric now damp with saliva and drool. maybe tears as well.

“speak up, princess. ‘s hard to hear you,” laura instructs as she removes the piece from your mouth.

“i… i’m… gonna-” you start before trailing off, finding it hard to focus on words as laura speeds up her pace.

“what, pretty thing? y’ gonna cum?”

“tha-that’s what she said!” of course. of-fucking-course those are the words you can get to leave your stuttering mouth.

“god—do you ever shut the fuck up?” laura groans before tossing your mask to the side and holding your hips steady. when she notices your silence, she leans forward, a hand massaging your tit and her teeth taking a harsh bite at your earlobe. “or maybe you just need to be fucked speechless, don’t you?”

yes. a million times yes.

quiet whimpers leave your lips, the smell of cigars and alcohol mixed with the stench of blood and sex is almost overwhelming. laura slows her pace again, taking her sweet time watching, playing, torturing you for pleasure. that sadistic fuck.

“i do love these cute little noises you’re making, yeh? tell me how good it feels. i know it feels good but i wanna hear you say it—come on. spit it out,” she says into your ear. her lips have gone dry from breathing heavily and sweat trickles down her forehead and nose. the torn fabric of her yellow and navy blue suit rug-burns against your skin from all the excessive movement, but you don’t care. laura pulls your arms behind your back before yanking a seat belt out of its buckles to wrap tightly around your wrists. the rough material hurts, but it’s a good-hurt. when you only let out a porn-styled moan (half-exaggerating to poke fun at her), the wolverine behind you reaches under your neck and grabs your jaw. “you’ not gonna use that mouth?”

“fuck- okay! yes, it feels good. you feel so fucking good. just- please, let me- let me cum!”

and your begs get so easily rewarded. laura must have a soft spot for you because her thrusts speed up again, and this time hit hard with no intention of stopping.

what has little wolvie turned you into, hm? you, ladypool, a beggar? breaking out of character many would argue, but maybe that’s her goal: finding what breaks you.

“not yet. shit- wait ‘til i say.”

the hilt of her strap hits her clit just right as she continues to drive herself into your pretty cunt. as minutes pass and breaths quicken, her metal claws unsheathe and dig themselves into the seat beneath you two. she’s close.

with clamped hands still tied behind your back, you sense that knot in your stomach growing. guttural sounds from the back of the throat slip from laura’s lips, filling your ears as she hits your g-spot again and again, pushing you so quickly towards your release for the second time.

“right there! plea- please, please! i’m… gonna-”

“go on, sweetheart. fucking cum~”

at her words, her command—you feel yourself tighten around her. and your moans must’ve been what did it for her because immediately after—husky groans are heard from behind your bare, trembling body. the heavy weight of a wolverine falls against you, breathing hard onto your skin as her sweat-coated face buries itself into the nape of your neck. a trail of little bite marks, enhanced by her small fangs, are left scattered across your shoulders and upper back.

her middle finger finds your clit again to draw little circles, bringing out pitiful whimpers and post-sex muscle spasms from your worn out body.

“ca- canada…”

your contorted face and senselessness brings her to hum—which is her version of a laugh in this dizzy state. she broke you. and it didn’t take very much, did it?

she turns your chin to look up at her, her face reflecting that drunken haze with the ghost of a smile across her lips. her focus falls to your parted mouth for a moment before finally connecting her lips with yours. the kiss is softer than you expect, as if her hunger’s satisfied, yet the warm taste of cigars and alcohol linger.

“y’ did good, sweetheart.”

just good? must she always be so condescending?

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

spent way too long on this lol comment/repost if you like it, loves !!

this is so gonna flop but idc i wrote it for me and bookie 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

taglist: @pr1ncessjo <3

[tartstealingknave]

Self aware!twst with a streamer reader:3

"Stitch's tropical Turbulence"

Inspo here !! <3 (I srsly love RoseEmber's videos, the vids r always so funny 😭😭)

Always, this is just like the first one with the streamer!reader, expect, this one is in the event!! I'll do the "cloudcalling on the savanna" event after this,I'll wait 4 the "The nightmare before Christmas" event cause I rlly like skully j graves...hes so silly..‼️

CONTENT: Azul and lilia brought the others in monge lounge (I think that's the spelling) to discuss abt the recent event!!

Azul: okay so, we are here to discuss about the event that happened with us!

Lilia: yeah, the event were we were stuck in a beach, and we had to sign a contract to azul..

Azul: it's still a decent contract, plus it's just one week, don't worry.

Ace: yeah.. "One week" of getting told to do something... Agh...

Jack: I'm still uncertain about azul's contract, sure it's pretty "harmless"

Azul: I'm hurt, you really think I'm going to do something horrible? Oh please, I'm not a monster Jack.

Riddle: I still cannot believe I was the one with the flower lei..

Ace: don't be such a partypooper riddle, plus we were at a BEACH. Actually, a beach of a deserted island.

Ace: it's like you're telling me wearing a uniform to the beach is normal, but eh, maybe you're right on the "flower lei" part.

Floyd: eh, goldfishie, you looked funny with that flower lei though.

Floyd: though I still remember what azul said to me about my attire when I said something about his..

Azul: well it's was honestly true, you said I looked like a shady man, we honestly surprised yuu alongside them.

Azul: I think they said "why is everyone roasting each other?! Oh my god!" I think it was pretty funny.

Floyd: you're right Azul! Their reaction was priceless.

Floyd: and what do you mean so "suspect" ? You looked like one of those shady business dealers!

Azul: you can't talk when you have your shirt unbuttoned in the event, it made you look like you got "fan service" as they, the player would say.

Lilia: alright! Alright! Stop fighting, even though you guys looked hilarious fighting, can we stop?

Azul: you also cannot be talking about Fanshion sense when you just said "yuu! How do I look?! Do I look adorable as I ought to be?!" And you looked pleased when they said yes to your question.

Lilia: at least they were being honest about it, now stop fighting, let's just change topics shall we?

Floyd: ugh fine, azul you're lucky.

Riddle: speaking of changing topics, I just remember about how lilia fell down from the sky.. It was loud.

Riddle: how much do you even weight? It was heavy. A heavy impact on that.

Lilia: hehe, it's none of your problem, plus, I don't need no broom to fly, a fae like me doesn't need it as I said, it's just a quick hop! Surely would have known that ages ago.

Lilia: maybe he forgot when leona's overb-

Jack: we don't talk about that situation! We also don't talk about the O word.

Riddle: I wish lilia could have had actually go to school to get help, since that would have meant we would have never signed a contract..

Azul: we know it's your worst nightmare, riddle.

Floyd: yet we couldn't turn into merform, it would have been much faster and more effective if we could have turned into merform.

Jack: oh god, I still don't like that merform of yours, it freaks me out.

(IDK IF IT DOES BUT THE VIDEO SAID EARLIER THAT JACK DOESN'T LIKE FLOYD AND JADE A LITTLE SO😭)

Floyd: hehe, shrimpy's reactions to azul's contract will never fail to amuse me.

Azul: right, it seems that they hate signing my contracts, how sad..

Riddle: I would be too.

Ace: kinda funny when they said "they gotta arrest Azul when their back on campus".

Azul: those words did make me laugh though.

Floyd: right! Shrimpy is so funny hehe.

That's the uhh end:3 it's kinda short... (I'm still making shameless!reader okay)

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for @definitelynotaminion; Clark panic-adopts his teenage clones (yes, including the supervillain one). (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Maybe he just doesn’t care. Maybe he’s just taking the long way around about dumping Match in a cell somewhere until the Agenda gets around to collecting him out of custody. Maybe– 

There’s a sudden blur of speed and a goddamn almighty howl, and something crashes into Superman. 

“The fuck?” Thirteen says. 

Match . . . tilts his head. 

It’s–a dog. That hit Superman, he means. A large white one, that’s currently trying to lick the man’s face off. 

Also it’s flying and wearing a red cape with an S-shield on the back of it. 

So that’s a thing. 

“I seriously did not realize the dog was not, like, a freaky Hypertime thing,” Thirteen says, sounding incredulous. “How is the dog not a freaky Hypertime thing?” 

Match has absolutely no idea why Thirteen is saying that like he expect him to answer or even have an answer, since very obviously he is not the person in this situation who’s been to Hypertime or has any idea what the hell the idiot’s talking about, but it’s Thirteen, so it’s not like he’s surprised to be asked stupid questions. Thirteen, as ever, continues to operate under the delusion that Match has any reason to talk to him at all, much less give him any intel that isn’t a lie or a distraction or some kind of misdirection. 

But seriously, why is it wearing a cape? 

Unfortunately, Superman’s stopped to pet the dog, so they catch up fairly quickly. Match eyes the thing suspiciously. So does Thirteen, so at least he’s being less stupid than usual.

“Um,” Thirteen says warily, glancing at Superman. “So like, if I ask if his name’s ‘Krypto’, are you gonna–AGH.” 

The dog perks up immediately at hearing “Krypto” and then effectively slams into Thirteen and knocks him back a good fifty feet in the air, barking excitedly and trying to climb him. Match wonders what he did to deserve such a useless gene donor. He follows orders, doesn’t he? He performs to expectation. Performs above expectation, except for when those expectations are objectively ridiculous ones set by delusional idiots. 

“Krypto!” Superman calls, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Down, boy!” 

The alleged “Krypto” does not follow orders, apparently. Thirteen yelps, trying to fly out of the dog’s reach. The dog, apparently, is much faster than him, and seems to think they’re playing “chase” now. It tackles Thirteen another three times before Superman zips over and catches it by the collar to tug back. Thirteen flees. 

Specifically, Thirteen flees behind Match, and eyes the dog sourly from over his shoulder. 

Match really does not deserve this useless a gene donor. 

“What, worried you’ll get fleas?” he asks dryly, eyeing the other. Thirteen scowls back at him indignantly. 

“I’m not a dog person, okay?” he snaps defensively. “Or an animal person. I’m not even a Super-Cycle person, it likes Rob and Imp way better.” 

“It likes you fine,” Match says, unimpressed. 

“It literally won’t let me use my TTK on it and bucks me out of it all the time, actually, but thanks for your clueless assessment,” Thirteen snipes at him. Match eyes him oddly, but–doesn’t comment. The Super-Cycle never did anything like that to him, though. 

Well, Thirteen probably provoked it. He’s stupid enough to manage that.

[arsonyarn]

𝐉𝐔𝐉𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐍: 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘 ➳ itadori yuuji, fushiguro megumi, nanami kento, gojou satoru

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 ➳ nsfw content ; aged up!itadori yuuji and fushiguro megumi ; short drabbles ; foul language ; top!reader ; praise kink ; belly bulge ; size difference ; food play ; master kink ; breeding ; name calling ; degradation if you squint

𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗’𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊 ➳ i came up with this thinking about what specific kink will they have. this was very fun to write.

MINORS, FEM ALIGNED DNI !! (ageless blogs & no pronouns will be blocked)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 𝙸𝚃𝙰𝙳𝙾𝚁𝙸 𝚈𝚄𝚄𝙹𝙸 ━━━━ 𝙿𝚁𝙰𝙸𝚂𝙴 𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙺

Fucking Yuuji have always felt good, no matter when or where you are it doesn’t matter. He was so easy to overstimulate and loved being treated like a precious treasure by you, which is why he’s obedient oftentimes, not hesitating to follow all of the things you command him just to hear those perfectly shaped lips whisper soft praises on his ear.

“Does it feel good, baby?” You asked while rolling your hips to thrust your cock inside him nice and slow, making his body quiver with pleasure.

“Y-yes— ahH! It feels— mhm... s-so good...” Yuuji admits wholeheartedly, throwing his head back as another sinful moan leave his lips. You smirked in safisfaction and fasten your pace, going down to meet his lips in a heated kiss before leaning over to his ear, “That’s it, my sweet Yuuji. Such a good boy for me to fuck and ruin.”

His walls immediately tighten around you at the praise as he moaned louder while arching his back and throwing his head back on the pillow. You take this as an opportunity to thrust even faster, hearing his moans get louder and more high-pitched everytime your balls slap against his ass.

“Oh—! Oh my god...! AgHhh! (Y/n), f-uck!” Yuuji gripped the bedsheets until his knuckles turned white, trying very hard not to get lost in pleasure with your cock abusing his prostate unmercifully.

You licked your lips at the sight of him struggling to stay in his right mind.

“You take me in so well, Yuuji. Do you see it?” Instructing him to look down, he watches as your cock disappear into his hole again and again as you thrust forward and backward. The sight made him clench around you again, ripping a groan out of your throat.

“It looks very sinful and tempting, don’t you think? Fuck, you make me feel so fuckin’ good, baby. ’m so lucky to have you.”

As soon as those words left your lips, Yuuji’s body spasms as if something snapped inside him, and a thread of white seeds shoot out from his cock with the most lewdest moans you’ve ever heard leaving his mouth, back arching and eyes rolling to the back of his head.

Raising your brows taken aback a bit, you licked your lips and a small chuckle erupts from your throat.

“Yuuji... Did you just cum by my praise?”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 𝙵𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙶𝚄𝚁𝙾 𝙼𝙴𝙶𝚄𝙼𝙸 ━━━━ 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙻𝚈 𝙱𝚄𝙻𝙶𝙴, 𝚂𝙸𝚉𝙴 𝙳𝙸𝙵𝙵𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴

It’s no secret Megumi has a petite and quite skinny body that makes even Zenin Maki worried if he’s eating well. Some people questions how he can be a Jujutsu sorcerer with that body type, but it’s just how he is and there’s nothing anyone can do to change how his body looks, not even Megumi himself. In fact, he isn’t fond of the way his body lacks the muscles unlike Itadori’s.

However, there would also be a time when Megumi’s thankful for being born with a little skinny, petite body — like when you fuck him nice and deep while pinning him down on the bed from behind to let Megumi know how much bigger than him you were.

“Agh! (Y/n)— FUCK!” Megumi moans loudly, hips subconsciously buckling to meet your harsh thrusts. You groaned and tightened your hold on him as your lips nibbled his ear.

Feeling Megumi’s walls clench, a chuckle leaves your lips. “You really love how my body could hide yours, huh?” You snap your hips harshly against his ass and a whine erupts from him, his back arched to feel you more.

Licking your lips with a smirk, you pulled both of you back to sit up as Megumi squirms in your arms from how deep your cock reached inside him, mouth opened to let out a scream, drool dripping down his chin and tears falling.

You were so big, and too deep, and he fucking loves it.

“W-wait—! Too deep— agHNN! Fuck, fuck, fuck,” He chanted as stars began to cloud his vision.

You hum, hand tilting his head slightly to face you. “Hmm? Too deep? But you like it, don’t you? Look at the way your stomach is taking my huge cock like a good bitch.” Your other hand slides down from his chest to his belly where a bulge can easily be seen.

Walls squeezing around your dick, Megumi whimpers upon seeing the clear bulge as he rolled his hips to see it disappear and reappear repeatedly. “M-more... Please...” He begged nicely and placed his hand on yours, which was resting on his tummy.

With a grunt leaving your lips, you thrusted your cock deep inside him again, ripping a sharp cry out of Megumi’s throat.

“Of course, I’ll give you more, baby.” You press the bulge on his belly as you snap your hips against his and Megumi throws his head back, not being able to do anything but to moan. No coherent sentences fell from his lips.

He was far too out of his right mind— how can he not be when your big, thick cock feels so fucking good making his belly bulge?

His eyes crosses and tongue pokes out of his mouth at the utmost ecstacy of feeling you abuse his prostate again and again and again mercilessly. But Megumi certainly wasn’t complaining.

He’s thankful he was born with body smaller and petite than yours that’s so easy to have your cock bulge when you fuck him; it’s a sight he always gets on to.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 𝙶𝙾𝙹𝙾𝚄 𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙾𝚁𝚄 ━━━━ 𝙵𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈, 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙺

Satoru love sweets. It’s tasty and never gets boring to eat, on top of that, it comes with many flavors to try! That’s only about 3/5 of the reason why he loves sweets so much, though.

Satoru’s body shivers as your tongue licks a whipped cream off one of his buds, proceeding to tease him by sucking and twirling it around. “M-master...” He whimpered, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. His nipples stung from being played with too much, yet he didn’t want you to stop.

“Hmm?” You hummed, rolling his nipple with your tongue before biting it gently. A gasp left Satoru’s lips as his body jerked, precum oozing out of his hard cock that’s decorated in whipped cream and melted chocolate.

“E-enough with my ni— agh! Master, oh my— fuck!” He moaned loudly when you bit his nipple again more harshly this time, almost cumming at the sudden prick of pain melting into pleasure.

You licked your lips and pulled away only to go down on him, licking the underside of his cock from the bottom all the way to the tip, tasting the mixture of whipped cream and melted chocolate accompanied by precum. Satoru arches his back as you take him in your mouth, completely savouring the sweet taste and bobbing your head up and down.

“Master— Oh, fuck! That- aghh... That feels so good...!” He moans, tangling his fingers through your hair and lightly pulling on it. You groaned and Satoru moans uncontrollably at the vibration with his head thrown back. His mind was already clouded from feeling too much pleasure.

You suddenly pulled away with a pop, erupting a whine from Satoru, and licked your lips to savour the taste. “You’re so tasty everywhere, Satoru. I couldn’t help but wonder... if it’ll also be tasty inside your dripping cunt.” You lightly tap his hole that’s been begging to be touched or filled, already using the spatula to scoop up the remaining melted chocolate from a bowl. “Spread it with your fingers.” You ordered with a smirk.

Satoru could not disobey you, he loves sweets too much to refuse and besides, your hunger might actually get satisfied with this.

So he doesn’t hesitate to bend his legs over his chest and spread his wet man-cunt with his fingers, anticipating the sticky and cold feeling of chocolate to come inside. Not wanting to waste a moment, you immediately dripped the chocolate on his spread hole, watching as Satoru gasps and whimpers.

After placing the spatula back inside the bowl, you lick your lips at the sight of Satoru still spreading his hole open just for you. Typical obedient slut, always eager for his master.

“P-please, master... Eat me out.”

With a smirk spreading across your lips, you lean over and give a long kitten lick around his hole as he whines. “Don’t worry, pretty boy. I won’t stop until you’re a crying mess. Beg nice if you want to be fucked with my cock, yeah?” You wiped the tear running down his cheek using your thumb.

Satoru placed his hand above yours, leaning onto it and closing his eyes. “Yes, master.”

He’s usually far from obedient, but he could be if it means you’ll get a taste of sweets that he oh so loves very much.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 𝙽𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙸 𝙺𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙾 ━━━━ 𝙱𝚁𝙴𝙴𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶

Nobody would expect a gentleman like Nanami to be such a whore for your cum, but a human should always expect the unexpected. Nanami isn’t a pure soul littered with divinity; in fact, he was far from it as his daily thoughts after accomplishing his missions were to be pounded by you until he can’t walk anymore.

Not so divine now, is he?

He is a filthy man who only wants to be filled with your cum and spend the rest of the day feeling it inside him.

“My god, Kento...” You breathe out, bending him over your office table and pounding into him mercilessly from behind, Kento already too fucked up beneath you to even form a coherent sentences as all he could do was scream your name and moan. “Can’t you keep yourself from being too horny that you had to send me nudes in the middle of an important meeting?”

“I— I wasn’t— AGHN! Oh, fuck—! (Y-Y/N)!” He screamed your name once again when you snapped your hips harshly to not let him talk.

“Ah, I’m so deep inside you... Can you feel it?” You whispered against his ear, sending shivers down his spine. “So deep that my cock reaches where it shouldn’t. I wonder what will happen if I fill it up with my cum to the point you get pregnant.”

There was such a calculating tone in your voice.

Kento knew it’s impossible.

He knew there isn’t a chance for him to bare a child no matter how much you cum inside him. He knew all too well that a male cannot be pregnant. But the thought of your warm cum filling him up, the thought of you marking your territory inside him, and the thought of carrying your child had something stir in him as his insides swirled and his hole squeezes around you.

Letting out a moan at the sudden tightness, you smirked upon realization. “You want to be bred by me, don’t you? Is that what you fantasize about whenever you touch yourself?”

A blush appears on his cheeks. “I- I don’t— aghnha!”

You licked the tears streaming down his cheek and fastened your pace, Kento’s eyes rolling to the back of his head as he screams at the pleasure striking him. “If that’s your wish, then I’ll breed you nice and full like a whore, yeah? You want that, Kento?”

However, he could not answer anymore as he was already seeing stars with his eyes unfocused and tongue making its own appearance, desperately gripping the sides of your desk until his knuckles turned white.

“You know what to say and I’ll give you exactly what you want, my love.” You whisper. “Filling your insides with my cum, letting it stay in the deepest part... I’ll fuck my babies into you until your belly’s swelling and my cum’s dripping out of your pretty, perfect cunt. You want that, don’t you?”

His cock twitched and insides tightened intensely around you at your words, making you groan as you slowly, sloppily slide your cock in and out, waiting for his answer. “Tell me, my love. Just say the word, but I won’t be responsible for my actions later on. I’ve already warned you. Choose your answer wisely.”

The loving and caring tone told him you actually won’t do it unless he allows you to.

Kento turns to look at you over his shoulder while breathing heavily, meeting your dark eyes that tells him a story of what will happen afterwards depending on his answers.

“(Y-Y/n)... Breed me, please.” Staring at you with that lust clouded eyes, Kento begged almost shamelessly.

That’s all it takes for your hips to start moving again, recklessly and roughly this time, fully intent on breeding and ruining him. Kento lays his face flat on the desk as every inch of your cock brushes against his prostate and deliciously tight walls, moaning and whimpering, series of curses and begs slipping past his lips.

“Oh my god— FUCK! (Y/N)! Give it to me, please, please, please.” Kento begs brokenly.

The fact that the Nanami Kento wants to be bred by you and you only immediately goes straight to your huge cock and before you knew it, you were already exploding inside him, Kento’s eyes rolling to the back of his head while hot white seeds shoot out from his cock, feeling his insides being filled with warm, thick cum.

His body trembles in overstimulation, legs shaking and almost giving out if it weren’t for you holding him up. Kento feels your cock slip out of his hole and your fingers thrusting the cum that threatened to drip out back inside.

However, as before he could catch his breath, a startled moan escape his lips when your cock slips in his dripping hole again. “W-wait, (Y/n)! I just came—” He was interrupted by your sharp thrust.

“I warned you already, my love. Now...” You smiled at him. “You wanted to be bred by me until you get pregnant, right? And I told you I’ll give you what you want if you just say the word, and you did, ignoring my warning.”

You lean in until your lips meet his ear.

“So just shut up and let me breed you, Kento.”

© ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴀʀsᴏɴʏᴀʀɴ. sᴛᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ, ᴘʟᴀɢɪᴀʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴏʀ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴍᴏɴᴇᴛᴀʀʏ ɢᴀɪɴ ɪs sᴛʀɪᴄᴛʟʏ ᴘʀᴏʜɪʙɪᴛᴇᴅ. ᴀsᴋ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪɴɢ.

[saey707]

some scenario where kayn's obsessed with f!reader's boobs, i beg you!!

✿ Prompt: Kayn loves your boobs ✿

♡ champion focus: kayn ♡ tw: nsfw ♡ Female reader

Author’s Note: Hello anon! Thanks for submitting such a bold request- I knew right off the bat I would have a lot of fun with this one to be honest lol ✩°｡⋆⸜(˙ ꒳ ​˙ ) It's going to be quite NSFW so I hope you are prepared for this... Hope you enjoy! (๑>◡<๑)

Kayn has always been biased about the part of you he loves. It wasn't to say that he didn't love your ass or your thighs, those were nice too... But god, he couldn't stop himself from loving your tits. Some would even say he's obsessed with them, given how many pictures there are out there of him staring at them.

He'll subconsciously stare at them, especially on days you choose to wear a tank top or that little black dress he loves so much on you. Hell, he loves anything you wear that gives him an open window to look down there!

Kayn adores the way they feel against his own chest! But he loves them even more when they're pressed against his face~ It's the only reason why he loves being the little spoon whenever you two cuddle: It's just an open invitation for him to fall asleep with his face buried in your boobs!

He mumbles sleepily when he's cuddled up to your chest. In fact, you caught him in recordings multiple times doing it~

"Can I have some of mommy's milkies~?" He mumbles with his eyes closed, smothering his face against the surface of your chest.

You love it whenever he does this, primarily because you know it's when he's at his most vulnerable! You'll even tangle your fingers through his pink and purple hair, pressing kisses to the top of his head to make him feel even more secure, "Of course you can, baby boy~"

Sometimes, Kayn will impulsively grope you. And he has absolutely no shame in doing it. If you're both in public, he'll try to make it discreet, but you can't always guarantee it.

The easiest way for him to give your tits a feel in public is by hugging you from behind. Nobody would possibly suspect he's feeling you up (and giving you a sign that he's just so fucking horny). "K-Kayn..!" You snap at him, the lovelorn man grinning and casually kissing your cheek. "If you act like that, then they'll really know what I'm doing to these huge fucking tits...~"

Loves sucking on your boobs during sex! If Kayn's not doing that, he's sure to squeeze them when he's pounding into you. In fact, it's the first place his hands go whenever he's about to fuck you against a wall! He knows that you're sensitive there and that either way, you'll make him put his hands there!

"If you want more, you're going to have to beg, kitten~"

When Kayn is super needy and can't wait any longer to get with you- especially when the band is on the road- he'll have you get down on your knees and take off your shirt in the restroom. He'll force you to press them together and use them to service himself, making you watch him get off to them.

"Agh fuck..." He groaned quietly, gripping your hair. "K-Kayn..." you managed to huff out, the rockstar chuckling lowly as he glimpsed down at you with half-lidded eyes. His complexion was a deep pink as he continued to push himself against you. It doesn't take long for him to release himself on your face and tits~

His FAVORITE place to come is on your chest!! It's almost like he's marking them for himself~ It's his way of claiming you as his!

[thatstonedwriter]

˚₊‧🍄[ Pain in the Ass ]🍃˚₊‧

◉ Synopsis; Billy Butcher comforts(?) you as you deal with chronic pain

◉ CW; swearing, chronic pain, mentions of self-medication, references to ableism, Butcher might be a bit OOC (sorry), implied romantic attraction

◉ A/n- I’m still nervous about writing scenarios/short fics but i wanted to try it out since I really like this prompt. Hopefully it turned out alright- enjoy!

You’d done your best- really you had. All morning, quotes from people who thought they knew better, your parents, your own fucking doctors- everybody saying it’s just “mind over matter”- echoing in your head. Classic platitudes you’ve heard since you were younger; people trying to relate, but instead, minimizing your pain.

“Oh yeah I get it- sometimes my stomach hurts, too.”

“Headaches suck but it could always be worse right?”

“You can’t let pain control you.”

“Fuck those stupid God damn- agh!”

Annoyed grumbles turn into a sharp gasp as another wave of pain shoots through your joints. This paired with the stomach/headache combo from this morning was really wearing you down.

And now you were reaching a point of desperation. The medicine you’d been prescribed proved itself useless against the pain today- and sure you could ask for some meds from Frenchie’s stash but… that option should be saved as a last resort. You could ask for help from Hughie, Kimiko or M.M. Surely one of them would be kind enough to pick up more of your prescription or grab you some heating pads- but then again, going out in public could put them at risk. You couldn’t ask them to put their lives in danger for something so trivial.

Never had it crossed your mind to ask Butcher for help. Worst case scenario, he kicks you out of the group for being weak- best case scenario? He says something ableist and leaves you to fend for yourself. No. You’re not dealing with that shit, especially not now.

A knock on the door to your little “bedroom” signaled that a higher power had other plans for you.

“Ya’alright in there, love?” Butcher’s voice, in any other scenario would have been a pleasant surprise- but in this moment of vulnerability? It was like hearing death bells toll.

“Yeah- yep- yep I’m good, thanks.” Your curt reply was not unusual to Butcher, but certainly not preferred. Slightly worrisome, even. You hadn’t come out all morning, and now you’re miffed with him? He hadn’t even done anything to piss you off! Today, at least.

He tries the doorknob, letting out a frustrated huff when it turns out to be locked.

"Trying to let yourself in? See, you're why God made locks."

"Come now, no need for the 'ostility-"

You rolled your eyes as Butcher began his usual spew of excuses, but one in particular caught your attention. It was near the end of his little monologue- softer, quieter, and spoken with a hint of uncertainty.

"and besides… can't have ya crappin' out on us, yeah?"

Even from in your room, you could hear the uncomfortable shuffling of a man unacquainted with emotional vulnerability.

"I'm not 'crapping out' on anyone," you scoff, wincing as more pain sears through your body. "But.. I could use some hel- hey!"

Before you could even finish your sentence, the door "magically" opened- and there Butcher stood, sly smirk on his face, lockpick in hand. He catches your gaze and shoves the pick back in his pocket.

"So then, what seems to be the problem, eh?"

God, it's going to sound so ridiculous when you say it out loud. Compared to what everyone's been through, saying "my tummy hurts" isn't really a matter of urgency.

But it's more than a stomach or headache on it's own. It's more than your joints occasionally aching and popping. It's been every goddamn day for as long as you could remember. Would it really be so wrong to ask for help?

“It’s just been.. pain. All day.”

“Is that all? A’right, where does it ‘urt?”

“…Everywhere. All the time.”

Your response caught Butcher off-guard. He’d been expecting some minor complaints, or even a sarcastic retort about what an ass he was being. The cocky, confident expression was replaced with one of concern as he caught a glimpse of the medications littering the nightstand. Surprisingly enough, they were all your own prescriptions. Probably not strong enough for whatever you were dealing with, Butcher reckons.

“You tried Frenchie’s stash?” he sighs, playful demeanor gone as he goes fishing in his pocket for cigarettes and a light.

“I’m.. saving that as a last resort.”

Butcher lets out a ‘hmph’ as he lights a cigarette, taking a long drag and blowing the smoke out the door.

“What d’ya need?”

“Sorry?”

He takes another drag, this time blowing the smoke out his nose. “Make me a list, I can grab what’cha need.”

It was hard to tell whether or not Butcher was annoyed with you. On one hand, you could appreciate the concern. On the other, it was almost certain Butcher was frustrated with this show of “weakness.” It took you a moment to find the right words- not necessarily wanting to decline the offer, but hesitant to voice your needs.

“You don’t need to grab anything. Meds aren’t helping today, and I can’t ask you to put yourself at risk. But if you’re offering… I wouldn’t mind some company…”

Uneasy silence smothered the room until Butcher finally sighed, dropping his cig on the floor and putting it out before walking into the room, taking long, slow steps. He grabs a nearby chair, loud scraping assaulting your ears as Butcher drags it to the side of your bed, plopping himself down and crossing his arms. More uncomfortable silence envelops the two of you until you decide to speak up.

"You don't have to be here if you don't want to, y'know."

"I know," Butcher mumbles. He glances at you out of the side of his eye, gaze softening as he watches you wince as yet another wave of pain rolls through your body.

Black spots invade your vision as the aching in your body worsens. You let out a low groan, hands gripping the sheets tightly as you wait for this wave to pass.

A larger, calloused hand covers one of yours, startling you enough to open your eyes. Through the black spots, you swore you could see Butcher's hand on yours, thumb rubbing your knuckles softly.

"You'll uh.. You'll be a'right."

You let out a weak laugh at the awkward, but sweet attempt at comfort.

With how little you'd expected from him, this gentle, caring side to Butcher was a welcome surprise. As the pain dissipates, your eyes begin to flutter closed.

"How about ya take it easy today. I'll tell the others not to bother ya, and I'll come back 'n keep ya company." Butcher's voice is soft- unexpectedly considerate.

Nodding weakly, you lean your head back, shifting against the pillows to get comfortable once again.

Butcher squeezes your hand, keeping a firm hold on you as you drift back to sleep.

[positively-peachy-143]

Things I'm noticing on my reread. Chapters 1-2

Darry was captain of the football team in school

Soda knows how to lift one eye-brow and he learned it from Two-Bit

DARRY APOLOGIZES TO PONYBOY IN CHAPTER ONE

Ponyboy has to put a stupid bandaid on the cut he got bc Darry told him to.

when asked about school at the end of chapter one, Soda redirects to talk about Sandy instead

could be wrong but Dally is waiting to meet Johnny and Pony under a streetlight at the beginning of chapter two, would be kinda cool if it's the same one he dies under

Hinton always avoids going into detail about what Dallas is saying when Ponyboy talks about how good he can swear or how dirty he can talk.

PONYBOY CALLS DALLAS OLD IN CHAPTER TWO D:

Cherry ate with "too bad you can't ride a bull half as well as you can talk it" no crumbs

Cherry apologizes to Ponyboy when he says he's friends with Dallas. I just thought that was funny.

TWICE HE CALLS DALLAS OLD IN CHAPTER TWO

slightly off-topic but a couple times Pony will explain something they do and go "don't ask me why, I don't know why" meaning he knows how shitty some things they do are, but it's just the way that it is, and if he felt like he had a choice, he wouldn't say or do those things.

Two-Bit is good at voice imitations!! I feel like we moved past that one too quick

GUYS CHERRY IS SO FUNNY I LOVE HER SM.

Two bit jokingly goes "who's this? your great aunts?" and Cherry (the GOAT) Valance goes "Great-grandmothers, twice removed" THAT WAS SO FUNNY.

Two-Bit does the eyebrow thing when he's puzzled or confused <3

GUYS THE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN TWO-BIT AND THESE GIRLS.

Guys even Two-Bit called Dallas old.

okay but "Mr. Timothy Shepherd and Co." was one of the funniest things Two-Bit ever said.

I feel like the sentence "He sure put things into words good" was bad on purpose. Like Pony you're writing a BOOK wtf are you talking ab

TWO-BIT HAS GREY EYES <3333

It's interesting to me how the Socs attack on Johnny effected him more than a whipping from his father with a two-by-four

Also Dallas looked sick at seeing Johnny all beat up, despite having watched, yunno, murders back in NY

guys off-topic but Cherry is such a girlboss

anyway

Sylvia tried to make a move on Johnny while Dally was in reform school >:(

Chapter two ends with "I know better now." which actually like stabbed me through the heart bc AGH

Lmk if you want more updates and lists like this as I reread. This was only chapter one and two D:

[stopthisshitplease]

What I would chance about the last season of The Umbrella Academy because the last season was a disgrace for the humanity and lost of all our hopes. (#1)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY

- Luther's jobs were in a bar for so long so it doesnt really made sense on why he was a pole dancer. I feel like after looking less hairy and buffy he would try to socialize more. Maybe hes that one barista who is overly talkative but so done with people. We could see some Karens absulutely wailing at him. And Sloaine. Shes with him. BECAUSE WHERE IS SHE???? But Luther begin a 'dancer' was really funny af sooo

- Diego wouldnt become a mailman thing. He was trying to be a police in the first season and tried to save Kennedy in the second. He would try to be a police again. Yk the Police Academy and all that. The CIA thing was good but if he cant get in the legal way he is getting in another way. You cannot stop him as he was a literal vigilante.

- Allison, Claire and Raymond lives together now! She wouldnt overwork herself, She is finally with her daughter and her husband now. She would work a small but stable job so she can provide and have time for her family. (Keep in mind that Raymond isnt from this timeline so hes still learning about the future) And yes Klaus does visit her time to time so he can babysit Claire, even thought its more like Claire babysitting Klaus.

- Klaus is eighter a psychiatrist or has a 9-5 job while is studying in community Collage. Eighter way he is helping drug addicts, homeless people, LGBT+ people, angsty teenagers in his own way. People know him as a friendly weirdo but they all like him! Hes not doing well financially tho. Güven that he doesnt have a stable job experiance.

-Five working in CIA doesnt make a lot of sense. For all the means he probably swore wouldnt work anything like that at all. He lives in the countryside now. And is a farmer! He tells the other people who lives close to him that he inherited the place by his dead father (haha) and the others learned the hard way to not pity him.. The boy maybe cant travel now but he is sure manically dangerous!

- Ben... Agh Ben. Not sure about him. He is obviously an asshole. But in the season he was more open. He was getting better. He doesnt have a lot relationship with the other siblings so I dont think he wants to hang out with them at all. But I dont think he would be a criminal (minus minor law breakings but who is counting?) Maybe he teaches martial arts? But a really competitive teacher and his students always go to home with bruises. He swears its a part of training. The parents are not amused. His yelp revievs sure is something!

- Victor wouldnt have a thing with every woman come on.. He loves Sissy too much for that. And his relationships never ended good. Him having his own place is nice but he strictly never dates. He adapted to the powerless life better that the others given that he didnt have them for a long time. But he still felt like the little kid who was locked up again time to time. Would be kinda cool if he and Allison bonded over it. (Allison couldnt talk for a year remember?)

- Lila wouldnt be a stay at home mom. She would still be on the 'book club' but her, a stay at home mom??? She has insane abilities in physical power, she would maybe be a coach. And for her AND Diego having three kids bespite begin scared to have one?? Nope those babies are poof! Gone!AND NO SHE DID NOT CHEAT.

[i-cant-sing]

im WRITING NOTES AGAIN!!!

ok so i had to reread the ending of TTAU pt 9 cos i was confused on why y/n was crying! but im refreshed, that’s just so sad to me. it must’ve felt very dehumanizing with how the royals (specifically Miriham ) treats y/n and to have her niqab ripped off of her. and her broach stolen too, but idk if she cares for that. i’m mostly focusing on the niqab being her coverage and her way to feel closer to her religion. idk maybe im reading too into it.

AGH BALDWIN MENTION!! RAHHHH RAHHHH RAHHHHH

Ibrahim PRAYING to have y/n fall in love with him too. I FEEL SO ROMANTICAL!! that’s just too cute , it’s not forcing y/n to be with him but hoping she comes to love him aswell , RAHHH I LOVE IT

also i feel like with him wanting her…idk if he’ll actually help her get Out. maybe get out of the royal area , or something. but idk about…letting her leave him?! it makes me suspicious but then he prayed for her and now idk…his intentions just seem 🫨 to me. it’s shaking me around

mustafa bringing more broaches for y/n to wear, i wonder if he realizes that mihirmah is taking them without asking yet. or if he fr thinks y/n is still giving them away cos she doesn’t care.

im so stupid for not finishing that paragraph before writing something.

“there's no way he doesnt know Mihirmah is the one taking them when she openly flaunts them in his face.” is deadass the next sentence

“Baris asked as he looked through your closet.” i bet, he’s judging so hard. his ass is the type to throw something out cos he thinks it’s ugly.

another baldwin flashback 😭 STAWP , i’m trying to hate him in peace

"Because... I have to look for a present for Mustafa." SHE PLAYING BARIS LIKE MONOPOLY “present for Mustafa ☺️” LIAR !!!

"Have you stolen it?" RAHHHH I FEEL SOMETHING WEIRD IN MY TUMMY! DOES SHE KNOW ? DOES SULTANA KNOW SOMETHKNG SHE SHOULDNT ?

“Have you stolen what you came for? What exactly were you looking for? Mustafa's gold? His jewels?" bruh nvm. i’m stupid for thinking she’s smart.

“Just like Isabella, he will betray you every chance he gets.” that’s gotta be rough. like y/n has no one. literally no one. she’s just by herself until she can get home to her family, to her brother. i mean, y/n is clearly capable of surviving on her own, but it must be incredibly lonely and sad ! RAHHHH Y/N ! GOVE Y/N A BREAK!

“But... where did the portrait go?”

1. one of the boys has it hanging up cos “oh it looks so similar to the loml” 🤮

2. someone took it as black mail and is going to accuse y/n of witchery

3. it’s getting fixed up from where bladwin made out with it and they’ll find out it looks so similar to y/n and think y/n is related to royalty cos “why did a king 400 years ago have this portrait painted IF NOT IT BEING THE LOVE OF HIS CRAZY ASS LIFE ! AND Y/N IS A DESCENDANT AND CLEARLY NEEDS TO MARRY ONE OF THE BOYS THIS INSTANT! “

4. someone burnt it for y/n already

“ "I may not know how to hunt, but you do. So... shall we?" You asked patting the horse. “ y/n just makes herself seem like the weirdest person ever in both time periods cos she just wants to get OUTTA THERE! she does Not care if they think she’s crazy, she’ll say whatever to get where she needs to go.

“You both stared at each other, heaving and trying to catch your breath before breaking out into a laughter.” this horseback riding/chase scene is giving Anthony & Kate love story in Bridgerton. next thing we know Mustafa is gonna be going 🥴😵‍💫🤯 for how y/n smells. (this joke is gonna be lame if u haven’t seen bridgerton, i apologize)

“And somehow, you would soon hit the bullseye in his heart.” this shit corny as hell.

do it again

“…looking off into the distance as you remembered the old couple who helped you.” RAHHH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT! thats so saaaaad,

“‘…Maybe I'll see them there, just from a distance?" Mustafa nodded at your request. How could he say no to such an innocent ask?” *5 Seconds of Summer’s song Wrapped Around Your Finger starts playing *

“Those words, that praise... isnt that what he's yearned for all his life?” oh damn. this dude fell in love with a time traveling scammer. get in liiiine buddy, GET IN LINE!!!

“Doesnt he ever deserve to even delude himself that he has a chance at being the next sultan?” this whole paragraph just opened this character to me in such a naked way, it makes me FEEL REAL EMOTIONS! STOP IT! 🤮😭 also #daddyissues

“ "Wherever it'll be the most prominent." He smiled gently. “ hey, i’m just gonna jump off this cliff rq, ok? but fr tho? THIS IS TOO CUTE!! idk y/n’s plan with this is cos she doesn’t NEED to get him a gift, maybe it’s to get closer with him so he’ll have more leeway with her walking off without him? i’m under the delusion that she might be falling in love tho 🤷🏽‍♀️

“…or the way his heart warmed when your pupils dilated and he was ready to give you the world if you asked for it.” her pupils dilated ? well, she’s definitely attracted to the man 😀 right ? RIGHT?

“ "crochet your anger away, Y/n." “ I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT Y/N’s FAMILY!! THEYRE TOO CUTE !!

“…you finally sighed exaggeratively, as if this wasnt exactly what you wanted.” awe damn, mother fucking bitch. I AM DELULU! I HATE IT! i should’ve known, y/n is a scammer girl 4 lyfe 😣

“ “I do. But unfortunately, I had given it away to a Roman diplomat as goodwill." “ liar. he’s got it. i’m calling it rn. he’s got IT ! HES HIDING IT SOMEWHERE!!!!!! RAHHHH U LIAR!!! I DONT TRUST ANYONE NOW!!!!

“By the time you two left Manisa, Mustafa had decided that he was going to marry you.” damn bruh. u quick asf with that, huh? u love y/n thaaat bad ? OOOOH u wanna kiss y/n soooo baaad! he’s a little simp! simp! simp! simp!

“Mustafa doesnt have Suleiman's respect. “ oh damn that spiral was a little crazy. i like that. that’s my type of spiral.

“…he could only hope you dont mind that he lied to you about the portrait.” …i knew it 😩 I KNEW IT 😣 YOU CANT TRUST BITCHES ANYMORE ! WHAT HAPPENED TO HONEST GODLY MEN WHO DIDNT LIE 👹 AND CHEAT 👹 AND BE MEN 👹 ! RAHHHHH

“For him to stare at, to clear his mind as he peered into those eyes above the paint smudges, that looked eerily similar to yours.” hey now. let’s all chill out and not look into that, ok! let’s just stare at the portrait that was made 400 years ago, and is missing the bottom half of its face cos of no reason what so ever. don’t ever try to make a artist try to replicate it. don’t do anything crazy.

“On returning to Constantinople (present day known as Istanbul),” instantly reminded me of that scene in Umbrella Academy w/ Five fighting all those agents in a doughnut parlor. (i keep referencing things and just hoping you know one of them 😎)

“…your eyes being trained on the sad man who was busy buying vegetables.” RAHHH STOP I FEEL SO SAD ! THESE TWISTS OF EMOTIONS ARE TORTURE (i’m jk, i love being melodramatic)

“…but deep down, he knows he only stepped in to impress you.” HEADASS! this dude a simp.

“Mustafa threw a pouch of gold coins and told him that the debt is paid. Period. “ period 💅🏽

him still thinking of y/n saying she’s proud of him? HES SO INFATUATED WITH HERRRRR RAHHHHHHH

“…not knowing about the shit storm that was about to come.”

1. mihirmah is mad

2. the other lover boy (Mehmed) is mad

3. the sultana (that ISNT mustafa’s mom) is mad cos her kids are mad

“…but it seems like sweet talking didnt make a dent on you” ok? bitch tf? SAVE MY GRANDFATHER FROM GETTING HARASSED AND PAY OFF HIS DEBT! then we can talk, tf? Y/n DOESNT OWE U ANYTHING BITCH

“ "You're clearly accusing me of something, so say it." “ oh man, i just love when a women doesn’t let bitchass men walk over them. PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE GIRL ! YES BITCH!!

“…they still stay here, only leaving when the sultan takes them along." “ you saying only a lady’s baby daddy or real daddy can take them out of the house ? get the FAWK out of my face , THIS DUDE GOT ME MAD!

“Is he- did he just say you tempt men?” barf. this man is the definition of “i trust You, i just don’t trust men around u,” BITCH SHUT UUUUUUUUPPP

“…but the moment these men know that you're a woman, you're meat for them.” this sounds like projection, mother fucker. get into some therapy. BARF

“This veil that you seem so proud of?…” why did this make me feel attacked? this made me even more upset for y/n, cos ??? y/n has every right to be proud of it even if “It only makes men to want to rip it off you more”, that isn’t Why y/n wears her veil. maybe i’m not using the right words or expressing my feelings right but it just made me really mad.

“but you're wrong if you think I'm using my veil, my covered body to invite men to stare at me." “ oh beautiful. she put it into words for me.

"I AM THE NEXT SULTAN! I AM UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU!" the gasp that i just gusped!! HOW DARE YOU!!

“His hand reached up and grabbed your niqaab, threatening to yank it off you.” i’m feeling VERY VIOLENT THOUGHTS!

“Do you think you can stop me from making your worst nightmares come to life?"” 😮.

“he found it necessary to reprimand you.” 🤢

“He patted your cheek to make you nod, and he finally backed away and left you alone in the hall.” 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

“how Mehmed had lifted up your veil and traced your skin.” that was a deadass traumatizing scene between the two and all the palace bitches got from that was “ohhhh they’re in loooooove” SHUT UUUUUUUP

“You want Mustafa to lose- you want Mahidevran to lose!” oh this bitch is crazy. her thots spirals just like her sons, apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

“..it doesnt register at first the hard smack she delivered to your face.” god damn. y/n never catches a break in this awful place. GET HER OUT ! GET HER OUT NOOOOW!!

“Hurrem turned to look at you, grimacing at your bloodied face.” oh god damn. i just hate everyone atp.

“…then that is what I will say- Mehmed did this to me.” y/n is too smart for her own good. FUCK THEM BITCHES UP WITH INTELLIGENCE GIRL!! GET THEM WITH UR UPDATED SCHOOL TEACHINGS!!

“But if you were to help me escape-" “ i hope to god this bitch helps y/n leave PLEASE GOD PLEASE

“Baris walked in with Mustafa, Mehmed and Mihirmah, all looking at the state of your injured face.” oh damn, my girl isn’t wearing her niqab 😩

“…it was Mehmed's eyes that pricked you and you quickly grabbed your veil, tying it around your face to cover it.” he’s cool for that, ig. i still hate him and want him to die and want him to fall on his face and break his nose and i want his dad to stop loving him.

“Suleiman's eyes widened at the state of your face- bruised, bloodied and swollen.” THIS ANGST IS CRAAAAAZY! DUDE ITS CRAAAAAZY !! I GET WHY Y/N WONT SNITCH BUT PLEASE ! PLEASE ! LET SOMEONE BE SMART ENOUGH TO FOGURE IT OUT ON THEIR OWN ! (i’m asking for too much ik) WHERE THEY CAN IGNORE Y/N TRYING TO LIE ABOUT HOW SHE DOESNT KNOW! PLEASE

“No. No, she couldnt have.” YES SHE COULDVE U DUMB BOY! PLEASE ! PLEASE ! JUST FIGURE OUT UR MOM IS A DUMB BITCH ‘ PLEASE

“ Suleiman's sixth sense was keeping him unsettled” NAUR BITCH ! ITS MORE LIKE A 5 1/4th OF A SENSE ! UR SO CLOSE BUT SO FAR ! PLEASE ! SOMEONE PLEASE !

“ Her hands hiding under her sleeves.” OH THANK GOD ITS A FR 6th SENSE ! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!

“ "It’s okay, sultana. It was an accident." “ i did all this begging and for WHAT? whyyyy y/n ?! whyyyy do you have to care about the timeline and the fact that you’re literally controlling the future with what you doooo! whyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

“ All this time, I thought she was cheating on you but Hurrem set her and me up. “ so CLOSE! YOURE SO CLOSE! Hurrem’s son is just a fucking crazy misogynistic that deserves the PLAGUE ! idk what plague, of if there is a plague at this time , but i hope he gets something bad!

“He now understands why his mother wanted him to marry you. You- you are the key to having the throne…” i like that he Just now got it! i like to think he truly likes y/n all on his own without the mission of the throne. it definitely helps his feelings, he gets the girl he likes and the throne. but he liked her fr, just for her.

“…had his blood boiling at the sight of your face uncovered as Baris applied healing balms to your wounds.” is this dude ever Not mad ? gtfo

“He corrected you before turning your face to him harshly” i just realized this dude is a real yandere. like an actual yandere. i forgot that this is what it’s all about. i’m all like “hes dehumanizing y/n!” “hes misogynistic !” like bitch look at wtf ur reading. ofc he is. he’s a yANDERE ! i’m sorry, dear author! i forgot where i was for a second!

"If you can do it yourself, then why let Baris do it? Do you enjoy his touch?" i still hate him.

“…because you dont want to stay in a place without the only sane person who had your back.” as far as we know….as far as we know.

“…besides giving him curt replies, which he doesnt notice because his head is so far up his-“ BARF BARF BARF! i hate him

“Mehmed has fucking lost it, and I need to get out of here right now.” PLEASE PLEASE GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN! PLEASEEEE

"I'm saving your ass. Duh." i don’t trust ur Baris. someone def paid him to do it.

"He's having their eyes stitched up for staring at you." oh he’s CRAZY CRAZY! those poor people! y/n is going to feel so guiltyyyyy NAUUUR ! nawt more trauma ! leave my girl aloooooone!

“Keep a low profile and try not to seduce any more unhinged men.” little does Baris know…theyre in a story written by someone who will definitely have that happen :)! i’m sorry y/n ! i’m sorry for what the author with put u thru!!

“He had been paying me since the moment you set foot in the palace to keep you safe.” ibrahim! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU IBRAHIM!!

“So thats what Suleiman wanted to discuss with you.” Y/n ! LOVE IBRAHIM! PLEASE LOVE HIM! (i’m jk, but fr, i’m glad y/n is getting out)

“They're in love with me. And when they heard I was leaving, they decided to come along. “ baris, you devil man. i knew you were good this whole time…

“Maybe you just lucked out-“ i don’t want to scroll down. i don’t WANT TO MNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN! I JUST WANT TO TURN OFF MY PHONE AND DELETE TUMBLR AND LET THAH BE IT!!!

“You were struck by lightening.” god damn. just god damn. just- ohmygod! OHMYGOD! HO ! MA ! GAWD ! CAN SHE HAVE ANYTHING ? CAN SHE JUST GET A BREAK FOR A SECOND?’ CAN SHE JUST FEEL HOPE AND JOY FOR A SECOND?!

“ "I know where she is." He stood up, Mehmed following behind him. “ NAUUUR! THE GRANDPARENTS!! THEYRE GONNA DIIIIIE ! PLEASE NO! PLEASE GAWD NOOOOOOO!!!

“She killed herself the next day. She had jumped off the roof, but she didnt die instantly. She died as Hurrem watched from her balcony, and she refused to alert anyone to help the poor woman.” the old couples daughter, nooooo! just nooooooo! at least they can meet with her when they die,,,hopefully from old age!!

"BY THE ORDER OF SEHZADE MUSTAFA! OPEN THE DOOR!" it’s not gonna be from old age, they are Not dying from old age.

“ "Do it. Save Y/n." He told her, but before anyone could react, Mehmed sliced off the man's head, “ IM ACTUALLY CRYING. LIKE FR ! this isn’t faiiiiir! i mean? i know they were gonna die and i kept joking but IT WAS TO COVER THE PAIN! PLEASE NOOOOOO

“Mehmed kicked her in the back and the old lady fell to the ground. “ she died just like her daughter…kinda ? that’s so sad. i’m so upset!

"Fine." He pulled out his sword. "May the better prince win." god damn. just god damn.

“Mehmed was going to win and she needed to be there to witness it.” she’s as crazy as her damn brother. why tf did i think she was a lesbian and in love with y/n. i should’ve known 😣 i was pushing my gay agenda , the republicans r right 🫨 IM JUST FUCKING AROJND! i’m KIDDING

“ "I am better than you. In every way." Mustafa raised his sword to drop it on Mehmed's neck, just as cruelly he had done to that old woman.” SCREAMING! IM SCREAMING!!

“But that will be for another day-“ nauuur bitch. ur brother is gonna kill you! TURN AROUND BITCH ! TURN AROUND’ RAHHH NOOOO RAHHHHH

“People who more than willingly began microdosing Mehmed with poison.” i didn’t Not expect this. ho em gee

“You slammed your fists as the room began catching on fire.” y/n and fire! god damn. you’d think fire is a yandere for this poor girl. ohmygodddd

“The next moment, Mustafa's head was chopped off.” THE. GASP. I. JUST. GUSPED. NAUUUUUR I LIKED HIM THE MOST! NAUUUUR NAUUUUR NAUUUUUR

“It’s on.” oh mygod. OH MYGDOD

“Whatever time you land in, it'll be better than the one where you almost burn to death. Right?” RIGHT ?! RIGHT?! god PLEASE SOMEONE! GET THAT DAMN SCREEN FIXED ! PLEASE !

i’m feeling so many emotions. everyone died. girl when u said “ no one gets hurt “ or something like that. i was like “oh some ONE will die” bitch i didn’t think EVERYONE! the old couple! mustafa ! fuck head! like god damn bruh. i wonder how badly this will fuck with the timeline in the future.

ibrahim is at war rn and waiting to get home to his soon to be wife! the sultanas have lost both of their eldest sons! hurrem has some leftovers, so i wonder who will be in charge next.

the old couple gets to see their daughter again, and i loved how they loved y/n. i wonder why the old lady was choking y/n tho? was it to kill her so she didn’t have to go with mehmed & mustafa?

mustafa dying really upset me too. he had a genuine connection with y/n i feel like (besides ibrahim ofc) and i really liked him. you fleshed out his character so well that it shocked me when he died! he must’ve been scared, surrounded by people who wanted him dead. his mom far away. the love of his life (y/n) meeting an uncertain fate in that random castle. his brother just dying infront of him. i thot he had his army with him too, so im surprised Mehmed’s men were surrounding him. it’s just sad!

BUT SO GOOD! i’m so excited to see how this goes! how far it goes! i’ve really enjoyed annotating while i read as well, i feel like im more immersed in the story! thank you for chapter 10! it was delicious 😩

11/10 review, amazing, showstopping fabulous <3333

and yes, the old couple was killing y/n to save her from being taken advantage of by the ottomans, as their daughter was. in a way, they had good intentions for y/n.

[yanverse]

Ellie thank you for the FOOD!!! my brain .... I am already Contemplating the Possibilities....

babysitter!reader is so delicious, and God, I kind of love how complicated the situation could get with Siri involved. Because even if eventually you maybe pick up on a red flag or two from Blake, or even just don't feel ready to have kids / a serious relationship yet and feel uncomfortable once he voices those desires for you..... Are you just gonna stop taking care of Siri? You don't want to get him caught in the crossfire: you know he won't understand why you left, just that you did. And he shouldn't be punished for something that's not at all his fault. God, the ANGST potential.

And maybe over time, Blake starts to wear you down. You do like his company after all, he's handsome and hardworking and charming and he clearly adores you. So yeah, maybe you give in one night because you're inebriated, or horny, or just plain lonely. I assume baby trapping is a given with Blake, at least I hope it is 👀

😫😍🥴Agh grrrrr bark bark bark I'm biting him I'm biting him I'm knawing on him like a chew toy🤤🤤🤤

YESSSSSSS HEHEHE!!!!

babysitter!reader and blake goes hard--you'd feel so bad because blake has such a hard time getting sitters, whether it's expenses or scheduling or trust, or for the fact that most potential babysitters hesitate at the idea of watching a child with special needs. and siri just adores you right off the bat, you're an immediate friend to him instead of a caretaker, so if you ever thought to leave you know you'd be leaving that poor kid with so much sadness and hurt in his heart.

it's not his fault his daddy is so enamoured with you, and that he offers you a drink every time he comes home from work despite the fact that you always politely decline. or that he's constantly offering to give you rides home, drop you off places, even when you're not babysitting. when you come to the diner he works at he gives you your meals for free, and when he comes out to chat at your table while it's slow and people get the impression he's your boyfriend, he doesn't correct them. the one time he came home to find siri had dropped his dinner all over you, and you graciously accepted his offer of a shower, he could barely keep the urge to barge in at bay when he imagined you all sudsy and wet, soaping yourself down with those beautiful hands.

he kind of goes crazy for you. you wiggle into his brain and won't leave, he can't help imagining you with a little baby of your own to give siri someone to play with. after all, even though the last thing he needs for his financial stability is to support another kid, it would only take one time to get with you to lock you down to stay with him. just one torn condom, one drunken fling, and he'd have something you can share forever. how can he give up that opportunity once he thinks of it?

(cw: cheating)

and......now im thinkin....if you have a deadbeat boyfriend.....god help you. blake doesn't consider himself a traditional man by any means, he doesn't want a partner who's totally dumb and submissive to whatever he wants just cause he's a man. he likes it when you resist him a little, actually. but seeing you with some cheap, ugly, unkempt asshole will absolutely have him playing the father figure card when he gets the chance.

"does he treat you well? does he cook? can he clean? what do you mean he doesn't work? how is he gonna take care of you? what, he expects to live off you like a fucking leech?" blake has plenty of opinions and will struggle to keep them to himself. especially if there's an age gap and you're younger than him. he wouldn't have to ban your boyfriend from his home because you're too smart for that, you would never bring a stranger to meet siri in his own sanctuary, which is one of a thousand reasons why he loves you so much--he can trust you. but when your boyfriend picks you up and drops you off blake is hardcore glaring at him from the front lobby where he walked you down to hold open the door. and if you have a fight over text and he refuses to pick you up, telling you you're gonna have to walk, blake drives you with a death grip on the steering wheel as he forces a smile and pretends he's not seething at the audacity of such a pathetic man.

but despite hating your boyfriend with a violent passion, blake listens to you complain and will offer you reassurance, even though the mere mention of his name has him gritting his teeth. and when he has opportunities to turn you against him, he takes them. he'll slowly fuel your grievances until your partner gets heated with you, and tells you that your employer and friend is manipulating you, and the worst part will be that he's right. but you'll be so blinded by blake's words that you'll finally find the courage to break up with that deadbeat you called your love. and what better person to crawl back to for reassurance than blake, who will comfort and cuddle and fuck you until you can't think of that asshole for another second?

[moonteaa]

your dad teba stuff has me frothing at the mouth like a squirrel that needs to be put down. You got any head cannons to share?

AGH!! Thank you!! Hehe 🤍🏹

AND OH BOY DO I EVER!! Let’s see..

1. Teba literally sees every single member as his own, but definitely imprinted immediately when it came to Zelda and Riju. Teba now has 2 teenage daughters and he loves them. They banter and tease each other and Teba sometimes has to deal with typical teenage girl angst and it’s both hilarious and endearing 😭

2. If someone made Zelda cry, well Teba is gonna take that PERSONALLY. You’ll be dead where you stand if a single tear falls from Zelda’s eyes.

3. Teba is FULL of puns and terrible dad jokes. And he’s very nonchalant about it too 😭 the others will absolutely eat it up LMFAO but Zelda will literally look at him like “WHY” (he loves to annoy her like that.)

4. Teba has this paternal instinct to wrap his wings or place his wings over the others when there’s danger. It does not matter if they can handle themselves, he’ll just shield them instinctively.

5. That goes for weathers too, if it’s raining or the sun is too hot, he’ll place his wing over any of the others as means to shield them.

6. If Kass is performing a song and each member is joining in on a dance, Zelda will constantly want him to join in. Though he refuses at first, Sidon will push him towards the others and practically force him to join with a wide smile on his face, much to Teba’s dismay HAHA but he’ll have fun and if it makes Zelda happy then he’ll accept.

7. When they’re all done traveling and camping out, Teba will either (not sleep at all) or wake up in the middle of the night to do a run down and check on everyone as they sleep just to make sure they’re doing okay and not in danger or having any nightmares.

8. If one of them has nightmares, Teba is immediately there for them and stays up with them until they fall back asleep.

9. He’s protective. Like FEROCIOUSLY PROTECTIVE. You touch a single hair on their head? You’re dead.

10. If someone even dares to try to be mean to Zelda, or blame her for the events of the calamity or Hylia forbid, CALL HER A FAILURE? Oooof..you will be taken care of before those words can even leave your MOUTH.

11. Teba nicknames Zelda Sparrow/Linnet. The first time he did, it made Zelda cry because it reminded her of Urbosa and her mom (little bird) ☹️ Teba didn’t even realize he had nicknamed her something so close to Zelda’s moms. He felt so bad about it and thought he had done something bad by calling her that, but Zelda reassures him that it just means a lot to her. 🥹😭 🤍

12. The reason Teba calls Zelda sparrow is because she small and it literally translates to “little bird” and as to why he calls her linnet, is because Zelda has a pretty singing voice like a linnet bird. (I headcanon that Zelda has a hidden talent for singing 🤍)

13. If Riju asks Teba to look after one of her sand seal plushies, yeah he’s guarding that plush with his LIFE.

14. Teba taught Zelda archery

15. Teba and Zelda often go on little trips together and when Zelda begins to happily chat and geek out about ancient history and sheikah tech or what not, Teba happily listens and indulges with her. He even actually enjoys learning about it and discovering things with her.

16. If Teba finds some ancient looking artifact he’ll immediately tell Zelda or give it to her because he knows how much she loves to study it.

17. He constantly makes sure they’re all appropriately dressed for the colder weathers

18. Can and WILL intervene on a creep that’s trying to hit on Zelda or Riju. He will go feral and probably shoot any creeps with a bundle of bomb arrows. LOL

19. Absolutely helps Link try to get with Zelda (but he still also feels a little protective? Like?? Duh, it’s link. Ofc they’re gonna be together but he’s a dad, he can’t help feeling a little protective of Zelda at times even if it’s Link HAHA)

20. Each of them have all accidentally called him dad and he just accepts it at this point.

21. Teba wants to throw hands (wings?) with King Rhoam.

23. despite how close they are, in the beginning Zelda actually had a hard time trying to get comfortable with Teba for a short time. Because her experience with her dad wasn’t BEST, it was absolutely bewildering to see Teba be such a supportive and good father figure to everyone, she’s not used to that. She would watch them all interacting and analyze it, trying to understand but couldn’t. Teba however, was always very good to her and they quickly got really close and bonded.

24. Teba shows parental affection by placing his forehead against the others

25. Tulin now has 5 older siblings 🤍

(I HAVE SO MANY MORE ID BE HAPPY TO SHARE MORE IF THATS WHAT YOU ALL WOULD LIKE LOL)