#Like yeah you’re in my kids body I would never hurt her. so I guess I’ll take care of you too

[friendliestanon]

So I’m gonna have to be the one to write the Murder drones fic where they figure out how to separate a non-solver infected Cyn and Uzi, and get Nori a new body, and find a way to upload old copies of Yeza and her husband, and fix Doll and the other people that got massacred by uzi for no reason, and Nori is like a mom to Cyn and a second mom to Doll, and there’s a little bit of Yeza/Nori and some N/V/Uzi and a little bit of Doll/Lizzie. And eventually they convince J to stop being a recluse and they very slowly build up a relationship with her again and the trio is together again and they aLL GET FUCKING THEREAPY

Right I see how it is guys hang on I might actually do it.

[justmeinadaze]

Aftercare (Steddie Ask)

A/N: This an ask by @corrodedcorpses <3. She wanted something where the reader didn't know what aftercare was so the boys showed her after an instance with her boyfriend or a partner. It intrigued me! You always give me interesting ones, mama, that I can connect with! Lol I seriously didn't know what aftercare was until I started reading smut. All my exes never did it and I always felt like ugh after they would leave.

I hope I did you proud!

Warnings: Light smut (she said I could :D ), more so Steddie looking after her, there are mentions of the aftermath when her boyfriend leaves (bruised wrists, welts from a belt), Steve mentions her bleeding and Eddie gets protective, reader is stuck in a little/submissive headspace

Word Count: 2555

Steve tossed Eddie some movies on the couch as he shuffles off his Family Video vest and slams his body exhaustedly onto the adjacent sofa.

“You’re films you requested, my liege.”

“Cool, man. Thank you.”

“No problem. Where is Y/N?”

Eddie’s eyes shift towards the closed door of your bedroom. “With her idiot.”

“I thought they broke up.”

“Yeah, well, I guess not.”

The door suddenly opens, your boyfriend adorning a huge grin. “I’ll see you later, Y/N! Have a good night, boys.”

They both respond with an aggressive hm as Steve gets up to follow him out and lock the door behind him. “Fucking prick.”

“I can hear you; you know!”

“Good because I wasn’t hiding it!” 

“Hey, sweetheart. You want to watch a movie?!”

“Not tonight, Eds! I don’t… feel so hot.”

They glance at each other at your change of tone. They had known you since high school and since you guys had agreed to move in together, you all had learned each other’s little quarks. You always seemed to have a smile on your face especially around them but in every one of your relationships, you appeared to become more and more lethargic. 

You confided in them once that you felt like there was something wrong with you. 

“Maybe I’m not meant to be happy in a relationship.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course, you are, honey.” Steve couldn’t believe what he had heard. 

“Any man would be lucky to have you, princess.”

“Please, you have to say that because you’re my friends.”, you giggle.

Eddie rose from the couch as both boys headed to your room. It was oddly darker than normal and Steve flipped the switch to turn on your white Christmas lights you usually had on above your bed. Your clothes they remembered you wearing that day were tossed around on the floor but you appeared to be clothed insomething since they could see the light reflecting off the silk against your skin. You were laying on your side as the blanket covered you up to your waist. You seemed incredibly small and it scared them a bit. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N? You’re feeling sick?”

“No, Stevie. Just… tired.”

“Y/N, did that fucking asshole hurt you?” You both turned to look at Eddie as Steve followed his eyeline. Your wrists were starting to swell where you had pulled at the handcuffs that were currently hidden in your dresser. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“No! No, no, no.” You quickly got up, running after him as he started heading for the front door. “No. It’s… it’s not what you think.”

“Honey, you’re bleeding.” 

You try to look at your behind, wincing as you sigh. “He hit me a bit too hard. NO!” Eddie starts to head for the door again as you grab his arm. “I…I wanted this. Fuck.” The metalhead’s arms shoot out to catch you as your knees buckle. “I feel really heavy and…”

“A little clingy?” As you found yourself still stuck in your little girl headspace, Eddie’s protective grasp around you had you feeling safe. You couldn’t help but nuzzle your face into his chest as you nodded. Both men look at each other with a mutual understanding of what’s going on.

“What fucking prick doesn’t do aftercare after something like this?”, Steve asks.

“What’s that? After care?”

Both sets of eyes widen at your question. “Y/N, you’re telling us, you want to do things like this but no one has ever taken care of you after?”

“Well, that stops today.” Eddie lifted you into his arms and carried you towards your bathroom. “Harrington, take over really quick, I have some first aid stuff in my room. I’ll be right back.”

Steve sits on the edge of your tub as he looks up at you with admiration. “Do you think you can stand for a shower or do you want to take a bath?” He sees something flash through your eyes that seems like trepidation. “Hey. You’re still in that headspace?” You gently nod your head. 

“That’s ok, sweet girl. That’s perfectly alright. Did you want to ask me something?”

“If…if I take a bath, will you sit with me?”

He tenderly smiles as he pulls you into his embrace. “Yeah, honey, I can do that. You can ask me and Eddie anything you want to, okay? We love you.” You grin with giddy pride at his last sentence. “This is gorgeous by the way. Did you buy it?”

Your hands fly down to run along the silk nightie you had forgotten you were wearing. “I did. It came with these cute panties and stockings. I don’t like those though. The mesh feels weird on my feet.”

“Hm, I bet. What do you like?”

You shrug as he lifts the garment over your head. “What do you like?”

“Honestly, I’m not a big fan of extras like stockings.” The pads of his fingers glid up your leg to the middle of your thigh. “I like to be able to feel my girl’s skin.” He grinned as you blushed. 

After turning off the water, he held your hand as he guided you into the tub. You flinched as you slowly lowered your behind into the warmth, your eyes darting to his after you were seated, waiting patiently for him to join. 

A pleasure filled sigh left your lips as he gradually removed every item of clothing he was wearing. You had seen both of them without a shirt numerous times but seeing him now was sending a different kind of electricity through your body. When he removed his boxers, your breath caught in your throat. He was much bigger than you expected him to be.

“Wow. Didn’t take you long to get naked, huh, Harrington?”, Eddie grinned as he entered the bathroom. Steve made a face at the boy before climbing in behind you, pulling your shoulders back so you could lean against his chest. “I got my first aid kit laid out on your bed with some comfy clothes. I was thinking after we take care of you here, if you’re feeling up to it, we could order a pizza and watch a movie.”

You smile up at him as he takes a seat on the corner of the tub so he can face you both. 

“Is it ok if I ask you some questions?” You nod your head to the metalhead’s question as Steve delicately runs his palms over your arms. 

“You said you wanted this. Wanted what exactly?”

“I like…being controlled.”, your eyes look down in shame.

“Princess, look at me. There’s no judgement here. You’re safe with us, ok? Can you repeat my last sentence back to me?”

“I’m safe with you.”

“Good. Good girl, baby.” His words with the proceeding smile made your body shiver. 

“Now you like to be controlled but it seems like the idiots you’ve been with haven’t been doing it right if you don’t know what aftercare is. It’s extremely important after playing like that.”

Your eyes meet his as your bottom lip trembles. “I just thought there was something wrong with me. That’s why…I feel like this after…like I’m broken or something.” 

Steve’s arms wrap around you as he pulls you closer to him, kissing the top of your head. Your gaze shifts between them as you feel the love they have for you radiating off them. You ARE safe.

“He hits me too hard sometimes. It makes me feel like trash especially when he just leaves after.”

“You’re not trash and you’re NOT broken.”, Eddie growls. “I fucking hate that guy. Fucking every guy you date is a fucking imbecile. I swear—”

“Can I kiss you?” His head straightens up as his brown eyes look at yours in confusion. “I’m sorry. Was that…to much? I just… seeing and hearing you both be so protective and caring…watching your lips move…I just wanted to kiss you.”

The metalhead smiles as he all but jumps into the bath making you laugh as he carefully straddles his knees on either side of both your legs. His palms grip your cheeks as he brings his lips to yours. It was a delicate kiss; careful to not cross a line but you desperately wanted more as soon as he pulled away. 

“How are you feeling now, Y/N? Starting to feel a little better?”, Steve asks, smiling as you nod your head. You were feeling so much better in fact that you grew bolder, leaning back to place your lips on his. When you pulled away, his kisses trailed up your jawline and down to your shoulder.

“How…how do you guys know about this stuff?”

“Aftercare? Because we’re fucking gentlemen.” You laughed at Eddie’s statement making them both grin seeing the personality they were used to slowly pushing through. “Sweetheart, even if you weren’t into the rougher stuff, who wouldn’t want to hold you and spend time with you after?”

He kisses your forehead before rising to his feet, water cascading from his now soaked attire. 

“Really? At least take off your clothes before stepping out so you don’t trench her floor.”

“I think you just want to see me naked, Harrington.” Eddie winks as he slides his shirt over his head and yanks down his shorts with his boxers, tossing them to the far corner of your tub. 

Jesus. How could both your friends be so well endowed and you have no idea. The metalhead reaches for your hands but pauses before you can reach up for them. 

“Is this okay? Do you feel comfortable touching me while I’m naked? I can go grab boxers or here! Maybe Steve’s will fit—”

Your palms grip his as you pull yourself up. “Eddie, it’s fine. I trust you.”

The man smiles as he reaches for a towel and dries you first before himself, tossing it to his friend to utilize as he guided you back to your bedroom. He sat on the bed as he placed you in front of him, turning you around so he can see the wounds on your behind.

You hear his breathing stutter as you feel the pads of his fingers trace down your sides. “I’m sorry. I just…you’re really fucking beautiful. I mean…I always thought you were…gorgeous…I just—”

Turning back to face him, you kiss his lips again, this time with much more vigor than before. 

“Wait, wait. F-fuck.” Eddie pants as his tongue runs along his lips. “I can’t…we can’t…not right now, Y/N. Let us…let us look after you tonight and then tomorrow…we’ll see how you feel.”

You nod as you adjust your body back to the way he had set it, finding Steve leaning against the bathroom doorframe. 

“What do you think, Ed? Maybe, we can at least reward her for being so honest with us.”

“I don’t see how that would be a problem. Just don’t move her to much so I can finish cleaning and bandaging these cuts here. Baby, what did he hit you with?”

“Belt.”

Eddie grumbled under his breath as Steve fell to his knees in front of you. You hiss as the man behind you starts his task, your hands promptly shooting out to grip the other boy’s shoulders. 

“Hey, whoa. It’s ok. I got you.”, he coos as his own palms grip your waist. “I got you, honey. Is it alright if I touch you while Munson does his thing? I can wait if you want me to.”

You adamantly shake your head as you run your hands through his hair. “Please, touch me.” Grabbing one of his huge palms off your hip, you take his fingers and guide them through your folds. “Here.”

Steve sucks in his bottom lip as he feels how wet you are, bringing his fingers to his mouth.

“Fuck me…you taste so fucking good. Eddie, you have to taste her.”

They gently shuffle you forward so the metalhead can kneel down behind you, opening your legs a bit wider as his face presses between you to push his tongue into your entrance.

“Eddie…”, you moan before the other boy follows his lead; mouth wrapping around your clit. 

The metalhead leans back as reaches for the bandages to cover your cuts on your ass. “Y/N, princess, seriously… fuck those other guys. Fuck… I’ve never tasted anything so sweet before.” He hurriedly finished what he was doing before sliding his own fingers between your puffy lips into your entrance. 

His forehead leans against your back as you whimper at the feeling of his massive digits stretching you open. You turned to look down at him when you heard him spit, wetting his hand as he stroked his length. 

“Is…is this ok?” Eddie slightly smiles when you nod, your fingers tangling in Steve’s hair as tongue flicks against your much more aggressively. “You’re so fucking tight, pretty girl. Jesus.”

Steve’s head suddenly leans against your tummy as you watch him fold into himself.

“Fuck me…”, he pants as you notice the sheen of his cum on his belly. 

He glances up at you for a brief moment before diving back into your cunt with much more determination. You groan their names, your legs giving in as you cum. Steve catches you, slowly guiding you to your knees as Eddie keeps fingering you through your orgasm. The man reaches for tissue on your bedside table, cleaning himself as the metalhead grunts and spirts of his seed land on his thigh. 

He thanks him as his friend hands him the extra tissue he pulled for him. It takes them a few moments before they realize you’re lying on your side against the floor. You feel your body lightly jostle as panties are slide up your legs. Steve lifts you by your arms to a sitting position so Eddie can throw his shirt over your head. 

“How are you feeling now, sweetheart?”, he whispers as you lean your cheek against his shoulder. 

“Safe…calm…” You nuzzle your nose into his neck. “Loved.”

Steve grins, his eyes shifting between you both as he leans up on his elbow. “Good. Because we love you. Now…you can tell that prick that he needs to do this with you every time.”

“What? What prick?”, you ask genuinely confused. 

“Your boyfriend.”, Eddie answers in sullen tone.

“Oh. I… I thought that… was this just a one-time thing? I don’t want it to be.”

“Honey, I don’t want it to be either.”

“Me either and, baby, trust me. We can give you want you want without making you feel the way you’ve been feeling.” You giggle at him as he winks, pulling your head to his lips. “Now, again, I know Harrington just wanted to see me naked but I would like to at least put on some pants so we can watch some spooky movies and eat some food.”

Steve whines as he rises to his feet and lifts you off the floor as Eddie follows. “Does it have to be scary? Can’t we watch like Sixteen Candles or some shit?”

“I like how you asked that like you didn’t bring me those movies from your store.”

“Stevie brought me Fatal Attraction a few days ago. I still haven’t watched it.”, you grin.

“Oooo… sex mixed in with a thriller. Everyone wins!”

[phyrestartr]

My World Ends With You (1/2) | Miguel O'hara x M!Reader

Miguel x Husband!Reader W/C: 4.7k

#SFW, hurt/comfort, infidelity, toxic relationships, brief verbal abuse, mending relationships, difficult/complex feelings and emotions, things work out in the end, nobody dies, the zombies aren't that important, old men just really going through it, ZOMBIES BABEY

Note: Tis a continuation of Till Death Do Us Part . Would rec reading that first lest you get mad confused

--

“Did Miguel cheat on you?” 

The question caught you off guard. As far as you knew, only a handful of people got the gist of what happened, and even fewer knew the exact reason why everything systematically fell apart. 

“How'd you–who told you?” You asked Gwen, surprise and trepidation creasing your brow. 

The young lady shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest tighter as she leaned toward the fire you'd made–the one you made out of pure restlessness from staying inside for too long. You decided to pretend you were out in the great outdoors like the old days, and set up a ring of rocks and chairs on the roof to escape the fluorescent lights and white walls. Evidently, Gwen needed a break from it all, too.

“Gabi.” She fiddled with her toque and cleared her throat. “She, uh--y'know. She mentioned it.” 

“Huh.” Your gaze wandered away from Gwen, and back to the fire. “I didn't think she'd remember.” 

“How old was she? When it happened, I mean.” 

“Must've been 11. We split when she was 13, I'm pretty sure.” You sighed and leaned back in your shitty old soccer mom chair. “Guess we were bad at hiding it.”

“Pretty hard to hide that kinda thing from your kid,” Gwen mumbled, dwelling on something ancient and sore in the depths of her memories. “They're more perceptive than you think.” 

You nodded. The stars caught your attention and you stared up, gazing upon the winking lights and shooting comets flying by. Most of those celestial bodies were there when everything happened. Did they remember, too? Were they haunted, too?

“Yeah. My parents thought I didn't know nothin’ either. They didn't know how wrong that was,” you agreed. 

“So he did cheat on you?” Gwen asked. You nodded. She scoffed. “But--why? He always acts so lovey-dovey and gross around you. Why would he–?”

“Good people do bad things,” you said, and continued before she could cut in, “‘n bad people do good things, sometimes.” 

“So which camp is he in?” She asked.

“Pretty sure he's mostly good.” 

“Pretty sure?” 

You chuckled. “I've met ‘bad guys,’ believe me.” You took a breath and nudged some logs around in the fire with a stick. “Miguel ain't like them. He's full of himself, arrogant, stubborn ‘n all that, but he's helped people. He's helping people, even if he's got a crap attitude about it.” 

“Right,” Gwen breathed. Her voice carried something heavy with it. Something uncertain and unwavering, like the teeter of winter into spring, or thunder that wondered if it might rain. Her restless energy mirrored the fire as it roiled and spat brilliant sprays of embers into the cold, night sky; only, the fire would eventually die down, calm itself into blackened coals. Gwen’s torch would not fade as such. 

“You think he’s a bad guy?” You asked. 

“Never really thought he was a good guy.” She rubbed the back of her neck before sighing. “But. Yeah.  Never thought he was a bad guy, either. Kinda feels like a vigilante, or something. But less cool.”

You smiled when you peered over at her. “Maybe like an antihero?” 

“Way less cool than that, but yeah. Sure. An antihero,” she huffed. “But you’re a blue-blood. I don’t think those types are supposed to get along.” 

That made you laugh. “I think they get along pretty well. They do in the comics, even if they don’t see eye-to-eye on everything.” 

Gwen rolled her eyes. “You mean most things?”

You nodded. “Yeah, most things.” You tucked your hands into your pockets and gazed up again, this time losing your thoughts to the endless void of grey sweeping in and devouring all light in the sky. “You don't need to worry about me, Gwen. There’re more–”

“More important things to worry about?” She finished, not sounding too impressed. “Feels like you're using the end of the world as an excuse.” 

You frowned, and wiped the dew of melted snowflakes from your cheek. “Maybe you got yourself a point, there.” 

–

You were the new kid in year 12. Normally, no one gave a shit–it was New York, after all–but you had a tendency to catch everyone's attention when you never sought to try. 

You were a country boy. A fella with a strange tendency to be kind and hold doors open for ladies or help some sorry idiot pick up their dropped assignment. That gentle lilt in your voice, the only evidence that you weren't from the city, always had people staring your way. Boys would mock you, especially when their girls flushed soft colours and whispered while they glanced your way. It didn't help that you were handsome as all hell, too. 

And one day, like a fucking fairytale, Miguel finally ran into you and got hit with the triple threat that was your accent, face, and genuinity–what he didn't expect, however, was to meet you at the Kwan's ranch.

You were clad in boots and jeans and a stupid cliche cowboy hat hung around your neck, hiding the impressive display of shoulder blades flexing and rippling with strong muscle as you shoveled and cleaned out the old hay and debris from the stables. Something warm and melodious trilled under your breath as you worked, and it beckoned like a siren's song--so captivating Miguel couldn't help himself. 

“Hey,” he said. 

You looked over your broad shoulder and blinked a few times, like you were showing off the brilliant hue of your eyes on purpose. A kindly smile made you shine brighter, too, like the sun somehow lit you up from within. 

“Howdy,” you said. 

“Howdy?” Miguel snorted and tucked his hands into the pockets of his shorts as he wandered in. “That's a little too country, isn't it?” 

“Is it now?” The twang in your voice must’ve been fake. No normal person sounded like they were ripped straight from a Western. “Maybe you're just too city.” 

“Hm.” Miguel crossed his arms and leaned against a beam as he watched you continue to work. “Maybe.” 

“Come on, now,” you laughed, “I can smell the city on you. Could probably taste it, too, if I could.” 

Miguel's face burned. His heart pitter-pattered just a little bit faster, soon going a lot faster when he registered the wink you threw his way. Were you flirting? Was it working? Was Miguel swooning? 

Yes, yes and yes. 

–

“Y'know, you don't have to be such a busy body,” Miguel said, wandering into the lab-turned-greenhouse. He had to admit, it looked good. Peaceful. And it certainly helped with keeping everyone fed and happy. So did your presence at Alchemax; you and Gabriella felt like a fresh coat of paint on a beat-up old car. A nice change. Good additions. 

And Miguel felt complete now that you were with him, too. There were still issues, still things to work out and problems to talk about, but it felt nice to work towards something selfish and meaningful. Something that was wholly and unabashedly for him and him alone.

But you were such a restless man. All day, every day, Miguel found you working; clearing snow, repotting, sowing seeds, cleaning, teaching, handyman-ing were all on your resume of husband material and so clearly those skills ruled your mind every waking hour of every day. It didn't help that the other folks In the colony realized just how much of a do-gooder sweetheart you were. Miguel was one more flirty comment away from nuking the building. 

But the way you smiled in the face of adversity let him keep a reasonable cool. Whether it was your awkward attempt to be cordial with someone who so clearly thirsted for you and your attention, or in a sheepish and innocently guilty way whenever Miguel called you out for working too much, you had a way of melting his frigid heart into something cool and light like an autumnal spring.

“I’m just puttering,” you hummed, pausing what you were doing to lean in and give him a kiss, careful to keep your dirt-crusted hands away from him and his neatness. “Just movin’ some of these into bigger pots. Don’t want them to go dying on us.” 

“I think they’d live.” Miguel hummed as he looked over the array of little plants sprouting with flourishes of brilliant emerald. His hand slipped to the small of your back before his arms looped around your waist, and he pulled you flush against his chest. “I need you more than they do.”

You laughed, soft and smoky. “That right?”

“Yeah.” Miguel left a sweet kiss on your neck, right on the odd, heart-shaped-ish scar he used to leave hickeys over back in the day. “They’re not the only ones that need fertilizing.”

“Christ. Did Pete teach you that one?” You laughed, but didn’t crumble and fertilize Miguel. Damn. 

Your partner huffed. “Come on, just–can’t you take a break, viejo?” He kissed your neck another handful of times and buried his face into the strong curve of your shoulder with a most petulant sigh. “Feels like I only get to see you when we go to bed.” 

“Not much different from how it used to be,” you said. “I worked nights, you worked days. Hardly got to see each other.” 

“I hated it,” Miguel mumbled. And you actually paused, your busy hands halting with the rest of your body. “I wanted you home with me. I didn’t want you to work nights.” 

He felt you shift again, the sound of your hands under running water sparking hope in his chest. But he snuffed it out himself–he knew you too well. You weren’t the type to stop when something needed to be done. Miguel couldn’t fault you for it, though, not when he was the exact same way. 

“Miggs.” You turned in his arms and held the sides of his face. “I’m not going anywhere. No night shifts, no driving after gun-toutin’ idiots on the highway, no overtime. You can always find me if you need me.” 

“Would you've come for me and Dana–” he stopped, a bout of regret punching the words back down his throat. The sudden distance in your eyes and the stiffness of your touch haunted him. Why did he have to talk? Why was he still chasing you away like this? 

“Don't,” Miguel pleaded, his hands flying up to your arms, holding you still. 

An overcast of something chased away the far look. Miguel wished he could read you as easily as you read him. He didn't know what you were thinking. Did he ever?

“I still have some things I'm working on getting past, Miggs,” you managed. “I don't--I'm trying.” 

Miguel nodded. What could he say, really? Try harder? Love me more? Get over it already? Your marriage reached a difficult point before the apocalypse; now, it'd climbed to new heights, but problems erased themselves thanks to the simple fact that the world had ended. There were more deadly things to worry about in the present.

“Just let me know if I can help,” your partner offered. And you smiled, tired and weary, unknowingly soothing the frigid panic freezing Miguel's veins. 

“Promise I will.” You gently stroked the arch of his cheekbone with the back of your knuckles. “Just don't worry too much. I'm alright.” 

And he believed you. 

– 

“Who's your friend?” 

The question drove Miguel insane, like a chisel tapping away at marble. Because everyone asked when they saw you, a stupidly handsome, ridiculously tall, polite southern gentleman dressed to the nines in a custom suit Miguel picked out himself–garments he picked out for his fiancé. His betrothed. His to-be husband. 

Miguel's coworkers knew he was taken. He thought it'd be obvious by whom since, well, he rolled up to the event with you and had complimentary outfits with you and you were wearing a fucking ring on the finger.

Still, countless folks introduced themselves to you, sweeping you up into conversations and leaning in too close for comfort. Miguel’s ego swelled, sure; he had the most impeccable, handsome, perfect man in the world, but his jealousy chomped away at his temper. He didn't like people thinking they had a chance with you. It was funny at first, but you were too nice to snap at them, to put them in their places. And, quite frankly, Miguel had had more than enough of watching his damn coworkers throw themselves at you the second they heard that stupid, endearing drawl or saw your charming, lopsided smile. 

He floated to your side, anchoring an arm around your waist while his other hand held a crystalline glass of something golden and fancy. 

“Hey,” Miguel hummed as your eyes met, and he leaned in, planting a soft, sweet peck onto your lips. “Havin’ fun?” The energy around the bystanders shifted dramatically. Miguel felt more pleased than a lion catching its prey. 

“Better now that you’re here,” you hummed, eyes creasing with a gentle tilt of your lips. He loved that look on you. It was the same one you wore every morning when you cooed your sweet good morning-s. 

“I make everything better,” Miguel agreed. He finished his drink and handed it off to whatever poor sod stood beside him. “Guess they haven’t heard the good news.” 

Your head tilted as whispers spread around you both. “Thought you would’ve told ‘em by now, honey.” 

“Well,” Miguel said, sing-songy and so obviously annoyed and bitter with how annoying this event had been for him. He took your hand and brought it up, feigning examination while purposefully catching the light on the band of gold hugging your finger. “I didn’t think anyone would be stupid enough to not put two and two together.” 

With that, the vibe died. Soft scoffs and muttered words were left in the wake of party-goers as they abandoned the two of you. Some offered anxious goodbyes to you before shuffling off, but many who’d been burned and shit on by Miguel in the past were not pleasant enough to separate you from your man. Which Miguel preferred. 

Miguel smirked to himself, satisfied with his work. Though, when he met your eyes, you looked anything but impressed. Oops. He probably should’ve considered the aftermath.

“Look, they should know who they're messing with,” he testified.

You quirked a brow. “You mean who they're talkin’ to?” 

Miguel huffed, the smallest of pouts forming. “Don't give me that. They were all over you.” 

“Honey, no one's ever gonna replace you, alright? You've got nothin’ to worry about.” Still exasperated, you smiled, and fixed his tie for him, giving it a light tug and tucking it back against his breast neatly. “You think I'd ever fool around behind your back?” 

“What? No.” Why wouldn’t you? You were handsome, a gentleman, a man who could have anything and anyone you wanted with looks and charm alone. So maybe–maybe that's why Miguel did what he did. Maybe he was trying to show you just how wrong you were. 

“Exactly. Now, you stop worrying and try to enjoy the event, alright? Promise I'll stay by your side for peace of mind,” you said with a wink. Miguel melted. You were too good for him. 

“Por dios–yeah, alright, okay. Fine.” He huffed and pulled you in close to him again and gave you a sweet kiss to seal the deal. 

And of course, it was in that moment Dana passed him by with a smile full of secrets and damning evidence–a vault that he wanted to break open and force you to face.  

–

Miles fucked up. 

He yanked open that fucking car door–specifically when told not to–and set off the dinner bell for whatever undeads still wandered the streets of New York. 

The race through the city streets wasn't so easy, not after years of the military, militia and more trying to block off streets, take a stance against the unending hordes threatening human existence–tanks, trucks, barricades and more littered and cluttered the streets like the puddles after a storm. Every vault and jump was uncertain despite determined, never really knowing if the next car the group jumped onto would throw one of you to the ground with a broken leg or twisted ankle. Miguel almost wished Miles shattered his knee. 

Especially when you nearly didn't make it inside. 

Miguel pulled you through just as they got the shitty garage door down, and he pulled you up, eyes wide and jaw set as pain jolted your features. 

“Hey, hey, what's–you're fine. You're fine,” he whispered. His hand frantically touched where they could before settling on either side of your face as you both fought to catch your breath. “You're fine.” 

But you shook your head. “I, uh--need you to back away from me, baby.” 

“No.” 

“I gotta make sure, be careful–” 

“No.” 

You pulled his hands away from your face, and Miguel saw liquid ruby stain his skin, too. 

“Listen,” you rasped as you limped toward a rundown car with your cuffs unlatched from your belt. “We gotta–gotta clear the shop. Miggs, you take care of the doors.” 

But he didn’t. He stood still, shoulders rolling with the heavy breaths he sucked in while you and Gwen puttered around the small, homely garage to the tune of the undead hissing and snarling just beyond the metal door. Miguel took a deep breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the–

“I–uh, what should I do?” Miles asked. 

Miguel whirled around and stalked to him, explosive rage fuelling his steps across the room. He grabbed Miles’ shirt and slammed him into the wall, looming over him like a titan. 

“You are not going to do anything,” Miguel growled. Miles’ eyes widened as he shrunk. “This is your fucking fault in the first place.”

“Hey, he’s just a kid–” Gwen tried, but Miguel’s quick glance her way stalled her. “He didn’t mean to–”

“That’s the problem. He doesn’t know how to survive out here and he’s not willing to use his fucking brain to fill in the gaps.” 

“Dude, let go of me!” Miles snapped, panic lancing through the quiver in his voice. “You can’t–” Miguel slammed him into the wall again. The undead shrieked and howled a mere half a foot away beyond the stone walls barring them out. 

Miguel basked in the dread eating away at Miles’ confidence. “It was a mistake to bring you here. You were a mis–” 

You yanked Miguel off the kid and slammed him into the wall, hand clapping over your partner’s mouth while your red-hot stare bore into the back of his skull and pinned him still. Your other hand held firm over his throat. You didn’t hurt him, but the fingertips digging into the straining tendons of Miguel’s neck threatened the opposite. 

“Quiet,” is what you commanded.

The room fell silent. And it stayed that way. It was hard to tell if anyone still breathed or lived in the minutes you all stood, patient, suffocating, and you stayed in that unsure limbo while the bloodthirsty reverie gradually de-crescendoed in the placid muteness. Slowly, slowly, with each wandering corpse that left to chase errant noises or to wander aimlessly with no mission left in mind, the air in your sanctuary began to heal. 

Your grip became kinder, and you let go, staggering back on unsteady legs. Then, you collapsed.

–

Your injury turned out to be a gash, not a bite. It ran across your shoulder horizontally, accented by a few other gouges bloodying your exhausted face and Miguel's busy hands. 

He stitched you up carefully yet thoroughly, eagerly trying to finish the job while you squeezed your eyes closed and gnawed on the belt wedged between your teeth. To your credit, you handled the temp stitches well. You only really shifted and panicked when Miguel tried to flush the wound with what water he had on hand. 

“That should hold until we get back,” he murmured for your ears only. He cut the thread with his teeth after tying it off, and wrapped your arm with a strip of torn shirt. 

You nodded tiredly and let him take the belt from between your teeth. “Thank you.” You sat up a little straighter against the wall and took deep breaths, eyes squeezed closed and brow beaded with sweat. 

Heat flared in Miguel’s chest. If not for you, Miguel would have ripped Miles a new one. He might have even thrown him to the undead in your name. If you'd come out infected, doomed to die, he'd make sure Miles suffered the same. 

“Don't be so hard on him,” you rasped, voice blending with the soft crackle of the unconvincing campfire. 

Miguel's stare hardened into ice. “He could've–” 

“Miguel.” He looked at you, and melted as you leaned into his warmth. “Lectures can wait. We need to get home first.” 

You were right. And it enraged Miguel further. He wanted to take his anger out on something, or better yet someone, but you just–

“You remember when you proposed?” You whispered. 

The creases between Miguel's brows lifted and smoothed. “‘Course I remember.” He slid a careful arm around your waist and held you to his side. He kissed the top of your head and inhaled your scent. “You were coming home from a night shift.” 

He remembered it too clearly, actually. You, being exhausted and out of it, still suited up in your uniform when you came through the door with a yawn. 

Coffee, your other beloved, lured you to the kitchen where Miguel knew you'd find him. Though he hated not waking up beside you those mornings, he cherished the sleepy back hugs you'd greet him with while you both waited for the carafe to fill. 

“Mornin’,” you grumbled into his neck between small kisses. “Sleep good?” 

Miguel always leaned back into you and basked in the wander of your hands and the scent of cigarettes hiding in your words. It all meshed too well with the bitterness of coffee. “Woulda slept better with you here.” 

You hummed, crackly and apologetic. “Good thing that was my last night shift this block, hey? Get to wake up with you tomorrow.” Your fingertips dragged up the hem of shirt in your search to feel the dips and curves of his toned stomach. “And the next day, and the next day…”

Miguel turned in your arms to spy your drowsy smile. He cupped your face, running his thumbs along the bags under your eyes, before giving you a peck. “I think you need a nap, mi amor.” 

“No, no, ‘m fine. Promise. Just need a shower ‘n I'll be right as rain.” You took one of his hands in your own and turned to kiss his palm. “Wouldn’t be opposed to a mid-morning nap, though.” 

“Lucky for you, I'm getting back in bed after coffee's done.” Miguel kissed you again, purposely mooshing his nose against yours. “Go take a shower. I'll pour you a cup.” 

You hummed, accepting the offer, and very very reluctantly separated from your lover. “Just don't make mine too crazy sweet, alright?” 

Miguel huffed. “Tch. I don't even make it that sweet.” But you were already sauntering off to the ensuite, loud yawn punctuating your departure. “Pendejo.” 

The coffee maker beeped not too long after. Thoughts of what to do with the weekend swirled through Miguel's mind with the springy, disoriented bounce of ADHD while he made up both of your coffees, one just sorta sweet, and one just a little (a lot) sweeter. Honestly, Miguel was bad at making coffee to your taste. Too often he'd watch you stand at the coffee maker, measuring cream, sugar and coffee in your quest to achieve a perfect bitterness to sweetness ratio. 

But when Miguel made you coffee, you never complained. Simply requested it not be too sweet. And everytime Miguel handed you that cup, trepidation filling the childish part of his pride, you always declared it was perfect from the first sip. 

Perfect. Like you. Like his life. That's why he needed to–

“Honey,” you called, bringing your partner back to the present. He turned to you, eyebrows raising in interest at just how low the towel hung from your hips–until he saw the small box in your hand. That made his heart start pounding. 

Miguel crossed his arms and cleared his throat, trying to hide his sheer panic. “Where did you–”

“You forgot it in the bathroom. I think. Found it on the counter.” 

Shit. Fuck. Shit. He really forgot to put that stupid thing away. He really went all cliché romcom and rehearsed in front of the mirror and didn't put the fucking ring away. What the fuck was wrong with him? He was supposed to be a goddamn genius, and yet–

You opened the box because of course you would. Anyone with a shred of curiosity would. And you whistled in a way that only cowboys could. Back when you were both young, you whistled at Miguel like that when he walked by. Lyla said you weren't one to do that, that that was a first for you.

“Damn. This thing looks expensive.” You pulled the gold ring out and looked it over as Miguel came to you. The band was simple gold, yes, but inlaid was a diamond flanked by your birthstone and his, all shaped in a striking baguette cut. The piece was simple and masculine, something befitting you entirely. 

But you were too out of it to realize what the fuck it was you were holding. 

“Bet I could buy a farm with this.” 

Miguel had to laugh a bit at that. “Most people would say a house, you know.” 

“Farm's better. Comes with a house.” You snatched up his hand and examined his fingers, probably sizing up which one the ring–your ring--was supposed to fit on. “Either way, you’re gonna turn heads with a whole mortgage on your finger, I'll tell you what.” 

Miguel's chest warmed. Maybe because of your smooth way of talking, or maybe because you were too sweet and admiring of your partner. Miguel couldn't tell. But it was probably both. 

“On my finger?” He repeated as he plucked the ring from the box. His heart beat in his ears. His face burned. But it was now or never. “I think it'd look better on yours.” 

“What?” You asked, soft and confused, sorta like you'd realized what that ring meant halfway through. “Wait, wait–” 

“I was going to.” Miguel slid the fine gold band on your left ring finger. “But then you ruined the surprise.” 

There was something magical in that moment. Your hand in Miguel's, the sparkle of new promise shining on your finger, the glitter of crystals pooling in your eyes. And your eyes were so wide, like you didn't quite believe Miguel would want to marry someone like you, so he had to say it, if not for the cliché, movie finale:

“Will you marry m–” 

You kissed him before he could finish. Your arms flew around his neck as your weight hit him like a ton of bricks. But he caught you both and held you close, laughing against your lips as the ball of doubt unraveled as every whispered chant of ‘yes, yes, yes,’ touched his skin. 

Those days were good. They were simple. They were The start of everything Miguel could have dreamed of–and then he ruined it. 

“Still hard to believe you wanted me, sometimes,” you reminisced, looking down at the dull, chipped set of rings hugging your finger still.

“You're the only one,” he murmured into your hair. “Even when–even if I–no matter what. No matter what, it was always you. It'll always be you.” Then where's your ring, Miguel?

You hummed and sunk into your partner's warmth more, staying silent with your thoughts as you watched the dim flicker of the fire and the two others collapsed around it. “Try not to be so hard on Miles.” Ah. “He screwed up. But we need to keep morale up.” 

Miguel huffed. “So you only mentioned our–you just wanted me to stop thinking about today.” 

“I wanted you to relax, sweetheart.” God, that smile was so clear in your voice. 

“Tch. Pendejo. He deserves to be yelled at.” 

“By his father. At home. Where it's safe.” 

“Fine.” 

[rafeandonlyrafe]

childhood friends to lovers

words: 800

“how is he so handsome?” you rest your chin against your hand, admiring rafe from the second story balcony as he climbs back onto the yacht, hair wet and body dripping with sea water.

wheezie makes a face, “stop, that’s my brother!”

you laugh and look away that way rafe doesn’t realize you’ve been eyeing him, admiring his muscles. “sorry, wheeze.”

“you just need to screw already.” wheezie comments as you head back to the interior from the upper deck, needing to get out of the sun after feeling hot watching rafe.

you snap your head to wheezie, eyes going wide. “and what would you know about screwing?” you ask.

“sorry, kiss or whatever. just get it out of your system, you've been in love with him since i was born.” wheezie flops down on the couch, and you’re quick to join her.

“i’m not in love with him.” you say, staring up at the white ceiling.

“yeah, right.” wheezie says, her voice dripping in sarcasm.

“we are friends! best friends. i’ve known him since i was a baby! i am not in love with him, he is my friend.” you’re not sure if you’re trying to convince wheezie or yourself more.

“listen, i know i’m just a kid to you two, but i see things. get over it and tell him you want to be more than friends.”

you frown and cross your arms, thinking over wheezies words.

--

“you’re staring again.” wheezie says, making rafe jolt. in his trance, he honestly forgot she was there.

“wasn’t.” rafe says, but his eyes flick back to you. you’re splashing in the shallow water, playing with one of your small cousins.

“you always stare at her… and she always stares at you, too.”

rafe finally looks away from you, glaring at wheezie. “she doesn’t stare at me.”

“she does.” wheezie scoffs. “and it’s getting freaking annoying. can you two just date already?”

“i don’t see her like that.” rafe says, “every guy in her life comes in wanting to date her, i’m her friend, she needs me to just be her friend.”

“i think she rejects all those guys because they’re not you. trust me, she talks to me.” wheezie picks her phone back up, hoping that’s the end of the conversation, but rafe is persistent. he takes the phone out of wheezie’s hand and sets it on the empty beach chaise next to them.

“she talks to you about me?”

wheezie is beyond annoyed with the back and forth, and decides a little white lie would never hurt if you both got what you actually wanted. “yes. she’s in love with you. go and kiss her already.”

--

“hey.” rafe says, flopping onto the bed in the guest room of tanneyhill that practically belonged to you considering how much you slept over.

“hi.” you giggle, pushing his bangs out of his face so you can see his eyes better.

“i’m not tired yet, want to take a walk with me?” rafe asks, pouting out his bottom lip just slightly to entice you to come.

“rafey, i’m already in my pajamas.” you whine, pulling your blanket down a little so he can see your pjs.

“please.” rafe says, a word that rarely comes out of his mouth. you grin, unable to resist when he’s being so sweet. you sigh dramatically and then throw your blankets off, getting up and slipping into your crocs.

“lets go.” you say, reaching your hand out for rafe. he takes it as you head down the stairs and out the door into the cool air, the breeze making it ever so slightly chilly, especially for the end of summer.

rafe keeps your hands locked together as he guides you down the sidewalk. you’re not sure where he’s leading you, but you’d follow him anywhere. you just enjoy the feeling of his rough palm against yours, the backtrack of crickets and frogs, and the moon lighting your way between street lights.

“oh, look how pretty!” you say, coming up to a house with fairy lights decorating their fence.

“almost as pretty as you.” rafe says, and you turn to him confused, letting out an awkward giggle.

“thanks, i guess.” you shrug, unused to these kinds of compliments from rafe.

“i was talking with wheezie about you the other day.” rafe says, hoping he can lead you into the topic he really wants to talk about.

“oh yeah, so was i.” you hum, wondering what his conversation was about.

“you know you’re my best friend.” rafe grabs your hands so you stop, illuminated by the twinkling fairy lights. you turn to face him, letting out a nod. of course you know, you’ve been best friends forever.

“but i was thinking maybe we could try being more than that.” rafe admits.

“really?” you squeak, surprised that he felt the same as you.

[rottenblur]

Study break|J.MILLER| part four

Summary: After that intense brunch date with the Millers, Joel had been ignoring you. What better way to get your mind off him than to get drunk and make out with a stranger. Would you do it again if you knew you were gonna get caught?

Warnings: Alcohol, implied thigh riding, making out with a stranger, getting caught hehehe, jealous! Joel, thigh touching by said stranger, weed, truck sex, reader fails to give joel road head, over the clothes touching (reader to joel) crossfaded reader. Smut MOST SMUT IVE WROTE FOR THIS SERIES, joel fighting some guy for you, angry!joel unprotected sex (use a condom plz) violence for like two seconds

“You’re a lethal fuck baby.”

Three long, fucking cruel days of Joel ignoring you, he set you in place and just expected you to be okay with being high and dry.

You responded to his text, he read it and didn’t respond. He makes breakfast every morning, not even glancing at you once.

A fucking asshole. It was infuriating, you keep messaging him hoping he will respond but, nope he leaves you on delivered, as if you aren’t living in the same house.

You pass him in the hallways late at night when you can’t sleep, yet he never responds more than a “hm” to your desperate “hey”.

On a late Saturday night, you and Sarah are laying around, scrolling through your phones till she gets a notification.

“Hey..you wanna go to a party?”

You look over to her, turning off your phone.

Honestly, anything to forget Joel was a good idea in your books. Didn’t matter at what cost, or where… with who.

“Yeah..i guess” You replied.

Her face lights up and she almost mauls you, pulling you into the tightest hug you’ve ever felt.

“REALLY??? My baby is growing up so fast, she kisses your forehead.

“I dont have any party clothes tho, Wore my only dress yesterday.” You pull her off of you to look at her.

She looks at you, gets up and walks over to her closet.

“Are you fucking kidding me, I got everything you could ever want in here.”

You sigh, walk over and start looking through her dresses. None in sight that are even close to knee length.

I mean what’s better to get over a guy by getting drunk in a slutty outfit, and fucking a stranger?

You and Sarah both decide on a outfit, yours a purple mini dress with rhinestone straps that glimmer in the light.

Sarah’s a flowy floral, white dress, honestly she would look like a angel if it wasn’t so short.

“Jeez Sarah I look more like a slut than you do, that’s new.” You say as you both admire each other in a body length mirror.

You spend the next fifteen minutes listening to music and doing your makeup.

When you both look like you should be working a street corner, officially you’re ready to go to a shitty frat party.

You and Sarah grab your phones and head down stairs. Joel and tommy are leaning on the kitchen island looking over some blue prints with a beer in hand.

“We are going to a party so don’t wait up.” She smiles and gives them a twirl showing off her outfit, they both smile then both of their gazes fall on you.

They are staring at you like you’re their prey. Fucking devouring you with their eyes.

Joel’s eyes fall on the hem of your dress, falling just above mid thigh, he furrows his brows and adverts his gaze.

“Yeah alright, text me if you need a ride.” He practically mumbles then tommy pipes in.

“Shit Sarah you’ve converted her.” He laughs and sips his beer.

“Oh shut up, she’s the one that wanted to go.” Sarah says while shoving on a pair of heels.

You look at Joel to see his reaction, it for sure wasn’t a happy one. “Thanks for the ride offer, Mr. Miller.” You wanted it to hurt. When you bend over to pick up your shoes, you made god damn sure he saw your dress ride up revealing the black lace of your panties.

You can hear a grunt as you slip on your shoes and stand back up, rolling your eyes when his catch yours.

You shut the door behind you and you’re off.

Arriving at the party, groups of people are gathered on the lawn. The music is so loud you can hear it from the sidewalk, what the fuck. What the fuck were you doing at a college frat party with Sarah, willingly.

You brush away your shame and step inside. Guys with bass pro hats, covering a horrible mullet. Dressed head to toe in carhartt, the cherry on top is the timberland boots.

Every single god damn one of them looked the same, then one catches your eye.

A guy dressed head to toe in black, other than a green flannel, fucking perfect. He looked like he was only here for the free liquor, probably was best friends with one of these yee haw mother fuckers as a kid.

The only possible reason you could imagine why he would be here, a fucking frat.

You search the liquor table for something other than white claws or bud light, a bottle of jack daniel’s catching your eye, bingo. You grab the bottle screwing the cap open and taking a sip, you wipe your mouth.

A tap on your shoulder makes you turn around, it wasn’t Sarah, she was long gone talking to one of her boy toys.

It was a tall, mullet bass pro wearing mother fucker. Jesus you didn’t have time nor patience for them tonight.

“Hey girl, you can’t just take the whole-“

You flip him off and walk towards your target boy toy. If he was in a band, you’d gladly be his groupie.

Another swig of whiskey to calm your nerves and you’re strutting over to him. He’s perched on a large window sill nursing a cigarette, a bong laid carefully by his feet. Probably the only stoner in here.

You approach him and think of the easiest way to pick up a conversation, got it.

“Hey, can i bum one off ya’?” He looks away from the open window and smiles at you. “For sure, cutie.” He reaches into his pocket pulling out a pack of marlbaro golds and offers it to you.

You take one, putting it between your lips. He sits up, making room for you, you sit down next to him.

He leans in, lighting your cigarette with his. You inhale, pulling away and exhaling the smoke.

“You aren’t one of those frat girls are you?” You laugh at his comment, shaking your head and inhaling once again.

“Nah, my friend dragged me here.”

A lie, but he doesn’t know any better. Saying that you actually wanted to come to this stupid party would do you no good to a guy like this.

He puts the cigarette between his lips, and shifts to pick up the bong.

“You want some? It’s some quad shit really good.” He pulls out a bag from his flannel, packing about a half ounce of weed in it. I mean, fuck it.

You nod your head, picking up the whiskey bottle chugging a good amount and passing it to him, he declines. “What’s your name anyways?”

He takes a nug out, grinds it onto his hand, pitches it and puts it into the bowl.

“Tyler.” He lights the bowl filled to the top with purple and green weed, inhaling till the weed goes through, he pulls out the bowl and inhales the smoke.

A slight cough into his sleeve and he’s passing the bong to you. You take a swig of liquid courage, not that you needed it at all.

The music is slurred, the only features you can make out on his face is his long black hair, his dark brown eyes and a eyebrow piercing. God imagine if his name mattered, if you would even remember it tomorrow.

You pinch the remaining bits of bud, putting it into the bowl. He looks to you, putting out his cigarette onto the hardwood floor. You’re sure the frat DEFINITELY loves this guy.

You take one last drag of your cigarette, passing it to him and taking his lighter.

“How’d you get invited to this anyways, you don’t look like a frat asshole.” You point to his outfit.

He lights the bowl, you inhale. “Yeah i sell some of these assholes shitty overpriced weed.” He laughs, you finish the bowl and set the bong down, he takes a slow drag off your cigarette.

What he said hits you, so does the weed. You bust out laughing, so hard you start coughing.

“I only give pretty girls like you the good shit.”

Oh shit. Mixing the amount of whiskey you had plus the weed was a bad idea. At least you weren’t thinking about Joel.

“Fuck, you’re too sweet, too hot.” You slur.

He passes back the cigarette to you, everything was so calm. You almost forgot where you were for a second, you were fucked up.

You take a drag off the cigarette, throwing it onto the floor, stomping it with your shoe. He smiles at you, then leans in, dodging your lips and going straight for your neck.

He kisses up and down your neck, sucking every couple kisses, he dips down where your dress falls. Right on your tits. He shoves a hand in your dress dancing around your inner thigh, you let out a whimper when his thumb grazes your clit.

Fuck was it the alcohol or was it hot in here.

Then you remember exactly why you don’t drink, your stomach turns upside down. You pull his head away from your neck, smiling to him.

“Hey, I’ll be right back.”

He smiles and nods, picking up the bong as you walk away, stumble away would be more realistic.

You take the bottle with you, running up the crowded stairs and search for a bathroom.

A open door, no one occupying it with a quickie either, bingo. You walk in, pulling out your phone searching through your contacts with blurry vision.

You take a sip, sit yourself on the floor as the phone beeps. To your surprise, they answered.

“Hey, what’s up.” You can hear the mumbles of tv in the background.

You look at your phone, fuck. You swore you called Tommy, not fucking Joel.

It was late too, he was staying up to pick you and Sarah up, such a sweetheart wait no you’re mad at him, what a fucking dick.

“Fuck i meant to call Tommy mm b-“ He cuts you off before you can finish your slurred words.

“Nah, he’s asleep I’m all ya get. Sarah ready too? You sound pretty fuckin’ ready.” He states, did you ready sound that bad?

You sigh and take a gulp of liquor, setting the bottle on the floor and answer. “Yeahhh I dont know where she is, pretty sure she’s with a guy-“ You pick the bottle back up, taking another sip. “Call her yourself bro” You say giggling at your words.

You can almost picture his face when you said that, fingers pinched on his nose bridge, furrowed brows.

“Bro? Who the fuck are you talkin’ to darlin’? I’m leavin now.”

He hangs up the phone, you shove your phone back into your bag, take one last sip of your bottle and head back downstairs.

You’re on top of whatever his name was, you’d already forgotten. Too drunk to have shame, too high to care who it was.

You can feel how hard he was, kissing him was basically just teeth and spit.

You were desperate for each other. If you got up now there would be a wet spot on his black jeans, from you or him, No one knows. Your hips uncontrollably rub against him, your dress riding up for the whole fucking party to see.

You hear your name be called faintly through the pounding of loud music and talking. Then a tap on your shoulder from a rough large hand, oh fuck.

You turn your head to look, your face met with a broad chest in a black t shirt, you look up. Fuck.

“C’mon time to go.” He’s fucking fuming.

Tyler pulls your face back for another kiss, you’re lifted off him like you don’t weigh shit.

“The fuck is this? Your dad or something?” He remarks.

Joel laughs. “What are you 19 or something? Fucking kid.” He mumbles, You stumble aside. Joel steps towards him, tyler stands up, boner and pre cum stain for everyone to see.

“Who the fuck are you old man?” He spits out and goes to grab your arm.

Joel hits him, he falls back with a bloody nose. Probably broken. He was a skinny alternative boy and Joel was you know Joel.

“Wanna try to touch her again?” He picks him up by his collar, you’re frozen in spot. It was kinda hot, him fighting some guy for you.

“Jesus man are you her fucking boyfriend or something, she came onto me. Guess your old ass can’t hit it right.” He should have just left it alone.

“Hey, shut the fu-“ Joel looks at you and before you could finish your sentence, Tyler was on the floor with a fucked up face. You could hear the crunch of his bones against Joel’s strong fist.

Joel grabs your arm and starts pulling you out of the party. “What the fuck was that, Joel seriously?”

He looks at you, adjusts your dress and pulls you towards his truck. “I fuckin’ told you darlin’.”

He picks you up, putting you into the passenger seat, buckling your seat belt and slamming the door. “Told me-“ He walks over to the driver side and hops in.

“What the fuck did you tell me? That bullshit with Tommy?”

He doesn’t say anything, just starts driving. You huff to yourself and take off your shoes.

You get to a stop light, he looks at you. “Yeah, wasn’t bullshit. So much for being mine right?” His grip on the steering wheel tightened, was it Tyler or were you soaking fucking wet over how angry Joel was right now.

“You were fucking ignoring me, you think I don’t want you? Even now.”

He looks at you and the light turns green.

“I was ignoring you ‘cause—“ He looks away, his knuckles white against the black leather of the wheel. “-I can’t fucking control myself no more.” He sighs.

He looks back to you, looking you up and down.

“God did you have to dress so slutty?” His hips rut up, you had him exactly where you wanted him, or at least where drunk you wanted him.

You blush, reaching your hand to the growing bluge in his grey sweatpants, showing you everything you could ever want to see.

His breath hitches. “Fuck, you’re drunk.”

You smile at him and start rubbing him through his pants, he looks down.

A dark wet spot grows on his pants, god he was perfect.

“Darlin’ I can’t drive if you keep doing that.”

You nod and pull his dick out of his pants, his tip was angry and leaking. You thumb his tip, dragging the pre cum down his length pulling a groan out of him.

He looks at you, you unbuckle your seatbelt and adjust in your seat, leaning over to him. You spit on his tip and force him down your throat.

“Fuck- Jesus.” He grunts out.

You bob your head up and down trying to take him all in your mouth, working the rest with your hands, you can feel the car speeding up.

When you feel him about to cum down your throat, he pulls you off and parks the car. You look around, you’re at the bottom of his street, thank god it was too late for anyone to be awake.

“Look we can’t—“ he cuts himself off, looking at your dripping mouth, your dripping cunt peeking out from your dress.

“-Fuck it, come ‘ere.” He adjusts his seat, making room for you, leaning back his seat slightly. Your first time with Joel fucking Miller was gonna be in his truck.

You climb onto his lap, straddling him. He looks at you, reaches down and rubs your clit through your panties.

“Look at ya, all fuckin’ soaked for me” He pushes your panties to the side, pulling you up and notching his tip to your slit. Your breath hitches and you look at him with furrowed brows.

He leans in connecting your lips with his, then pushes his tip into you with a grunt. He disconnects your lips with a sigh. “You’re such a tease.” He grabs your face, making you look at him as he thrusts all the way in you, splitting you apart.

“Fuck—you’re too big.” You shut your eyes, working through the stretch of him.

“Look at me baby.” He fucks into you without remorse, a steady pace with no mercy.

You can feel him in your stomach, he pulls you back into a kiss. You’re moaning into his mouth and his balls are slapping onto your ass such a filthy sound.

He reaches his hand down, oh fuck. Was it the alcohol or could you come right fucking now.

“Oh fuck Joel—mm like that” You mumble into his mouth, he’s fucking you dumb. His fingers find the perfect pace bringing you to your orgasm.

He pulls away from the kiss looking at you with those beautiful, soft brown eyes, and scrunched up face. “Shit darlin’, wanna feel you cum all ‘round this dick.” He groans as his hips pick up a unbearable pace, his tip kissing your cervix with each stroke.

You whimper, and with a nod from him you’re coming fully undone around him, fucking you through your high.

“Fuck you’re squeezing my dick so fuckin’ good.” When you’re coming down from your high, pulsing all around him, his face relaxes and he pulls out. Pulling up your dress, jerking himself till thick white ropes pour all over your lower stomach and clit.

“Jesus.” Is all you can breathe out.

He kisses your forehead, and looks you up and down, blush covered cheeks, sticky white ropes now ruining Sarah’s dress and your panties.

He was out of breath, he looked more fucked than you. You ruffle his hair and climb off him.

“So what are we gonna do now?” You say looking over at him as he pulls up his pants, He looks at you in bliss.

“We do it again. You’re a lethal fuck baby.”

Taglist: @paleidiot @slvbl

(Comment to be added to taglist)

Masterlist: here

Part three: here

Part five: coming soon..

AN: probably wouldn’t have finished this if SOMEONE ( @slvbl ) DIDNT BULLY ME INTO IT. I hope y’all enjoy this. The smut is kinda short but ANGY joel MAKES ME HAPPY. I named tyler after a guy that ghosted me on tinder LITTLE DID HE KNOW HE WOULD BE GETTING BEAT UP IN MY FIC MWAHAHAHAH lmk how yall feel bout this part yall need to get into my inbox i need inspiration 😘

[andreafmn]

Collision | Chapter 22

Word Count: 3.4K

Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life is at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same.

A/N:  can't believe how different my characters are in my twilight stories. this Paul is so much different than Speak Paul, and so is Jake, it kinda breaks my brain 😅

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A moment can feel like an eternity when the soul isn’t at ease. Time seems to reverse and turn over on itself, holding the body hostage to its grapples. It twists the mind, numbs all reason, and feeds doubt. Time can sometimes be scarier than death itself.

(Y/N) could have sworn the entire day had passed before the pack finally walked through the doors. But the light coming from the outside told her it was still early. They walked in as though nothing had happened, and they hadn’t just torn a vampire to shreds. The boys laughed and patted each other on the backs, celebrating as though their lives had not been in peril.

As soon as they came into view, the girl ran to her brother and wrapped her arms tightly around him. She wrapped them around his neck as his own caught her by the waist. Once she felt him with her own hands, she finally let out a strangled breath, allowing all the anxiousness to roll off her body.

“Oh, thank the spirits you’re okay,” she breathed shakingly. “I thought something happened to you.”

“You need to give me more credit here, bean,” he chuckled. “We take this job seriously.”

“I was scared.”

“Come on, he was outnumbered,” Sam shrugged. “There was no way we were going to let him go. He was easy meat.”

“So, none of you got hurt? You’re all okay?” 

“Of course we are,” Paul interjected. “That guy had nothing on us.” 

“I told you they would be okay,” Emily said, carrying a plate of fresh biscuits that the boys dug into as quickly as it reached them. “The boys always come home. Especially when they know that there’s food on the table.”

“I knew I could smell chicken,” Jared grinned. “I’m starving, man.”

“When are you not?” Embry teased as he walked past him.

“Oh, the young kid has some bark in him,” Jared chuckled. “You’re finally one of us.”

Laughing, Embry, Jacob, and Paul walked right past (Y/N) and to the dining table. Jacob was about to do the same but stopped next to her. “Bella’s okay,” she said. “She got home a while ago. She’s still a bit shaken up, mostly because of the giant wolves she saw.”

“Okay,” he said as he let out a breath of relief. “Thanks.”

“She’s tougher than she looks, Jake,” (Y/N) smiled. “She’s also smart, and she has a lot of questions.”

“I know,” Jake sighed. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“Forcing the imprint bond hasn’t worked out?” the girl teased. “I thought it would.”

“Not funny, (Y/N),” he pouted. “But no. I guess everyone was right. It’s just… she deserves so much better.”

“Don’t we all, Jake? Don’t we all,” she said as she patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. “Now, go eat. You gotta refuel.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you around, (Y/N).”

“Bye, Jake.”

As the boy left her by herself, her gaze found her brother. He was sitting on a bench in the backyard, his shoulders slumped and a hand over his eyes. Sam was tired, that much she could tell. But it wasn’t because of the vampire. No. It was a fatigue she knew very well.

“Hey,” she said softly as she sat next to him. “How’re you doing?”

“I told you we’re all good, Bean,” Sam smiled weakly.

“That’s not what I mean, Sam. How are you?”

“I’m fine,” he breathed. “Just… tired. I was worried before that. We caught the leech’s scent first, and we were ready for a fight—finally finish up who’s been killing all those hikers. But then your scent was mixed up in it and I got so stressed that I wouldn’t get to you in time. I’ve been worried that a bloodsucker would take you away from me, but I never thought it could’ve happened this way.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Sam,” (Y/N) said as she wrapped her arms around her brother. “Not for a while, at least.”

“It was scary to realize how easy it would have been for that guy to kill you.” His voice trembled as he spoke, the protector mask quickly falling away. “With how things were going with the doctor, I was sure I would have to get used to not having you near again. But today reminded me about how you could have been gone for good. And what would’ve happened if you had no idea who we were? You would have no idea that we were trying to protect you, and you would have been just as terrified as Bella was. You would have been scared of me.”

“Well, I guess that’s one thing you can be grateful about him,” (Y/N) smiled, squeezing her brother’s hand comfortingly. “This is one secret you don’t have to hide from me.”

“It’s a shitty secret.”

“It’s a necessary one, Sam. You taught me that.”

“Yeah, it’s the reason two of the people I love most in the world got hurt,” he grumbled. “It’s a shitty secret.”

“What? You’re saying if it had been a choice, you would have said no?”

Sam sighed and let his head fall back as his eyes closed. “I don’t know, honestly,” he admitted. “It’s an honor to have been chosen to protect our people. But sometimes, I just wish the responsibility fell onto someone else. If it hadn’t been for this, so many lives would have been different. I know I’m meant to be the strong one, but I just can’t help but wonder why me sometimes.”

“Do you remember what you told me before I left for school?” (Y/N) said. “I wasn’t sure why I had been the one chosen for the scholarship and I was so scared that the school had made a mistake that I wanted to stay home. You told me that the only one who didn’t believe in me was myself —that I would always be my harshest critic and that I would never believe how amazing I was no matter how much people told me. Well, now it’s your turn, Sam. You’re doing an amazing job as an alpha. You’re keeping out people safe, you have a beautiful fiancée that loves you, and you’re the best brother a girl could ask for. If the universe chose this job for you, it was for a reason.”

“Yeah, an alpha that didn’t have a hold on things and managed to not only scar the woman I love, but I couldn’t even stop you from getting hurt,” he exclaimed. “And now all these hikers are dead, and even though we killed this leech, another one with a vendetta is gonna come here for the Swab girl. I just can’t seem to do things right. I have no business caring for all these people.”

“Sam, I can’t think of anyone else that would be perfect for the job. You’ve been taking care of me and mom for a long time. Even when you didn’t have to, you always made sure we were okay. You made me dinner when mom was at work after school, you were there at every science fair, you even taught me how to ride a freaking bike,” she chuckled. “I don’t think you realize how good of a person and a leader you are. How you always step up to the plate when anyone needs you, no matter how trivial the matter is. You’re an amazing brother and an amazing alpha. We are all gonna lose someone sometime, no matter how hard we try to save them. Our job is to save those we can.”

Sam allowed the words of his sister to skin into his head, slowly allowing his body to relax. He settled into the bench comfortably and draped an arm around (Y/N) to bring her in for a side hug. “Since when do I have a little sister that is so smart?” he teased lovingly. “Don’t remember the moment you got old enough to give me advice.”

“Sam, you’re barely older than me.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that I’m older.”

“No. You’re just old.”

The pair of siblings joined the rest of the pack soon after, gathering around the table to enjoy the feast that Emily had prepared. They ate, they laughed, they talked, and finally, they crashed all around the fireplace in the living room. Jared and Embry had taken the sofas, and Emily and Sam had excused themselves to their room while Jacob had said his goodbyes and gone back home. The only people that were left awake were Paul and (Y/N), tension surrounding the air around them.

(Y/N) knew that avoiding Paul couldn’t last much longer, especially not when she could have lost him that afternoon. She had waited for him to come home, breathless and terrified that the last moments she had spent with him had been avoiding him. The survival of their friendship rested on the conversation she did not want to have with him, but she knew it was essential if she ever wanted him to stay her best friend.

“So,” she said, finally breaking the silence. “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you finally have some time for me in your busy schedule?” Paul teased. “How lucky am I? Maybe I should face vampires more often.”

“Very funny, Paul.”

“Hey, I’m not the one that has been avoiding you for weeks now,” he shrugged as he threw his hands up in defeat. “What’s that about?”

The girl sighed as she restless her head against the wall, staring up at the wooden ceiling than into Paul’s eyes. She could feel his state burning a joke through her skull, seaman ding entrance into her innermost thoughts.  “Paul, you know what it’s about,” she responded. “You were getting too attached, and I didn’t know how to manage that.”

“Are you serious, (Y/N)? I was growing too attached?” Pail spoke in shouted whispers, wanting nothing more than to explode at that. But exhaustion clawed at his body, and the last thing he wanted was to let his wolf out. “And what have you that brilliant idea?”

“Paul, come on. The night Jacob finally turned, I could hear it in your voice,” she recalled. “You said there was something you just had to tell me, and I’m pretty certain I know what it is.”

“Oh yeah, Einstein? And what’s that?”

“That you want more,” she stated. “That you want us to be more.”

Surprise ran through Paula’s face before quickly transforming into an angry scowl. It had been what (Y/N) had wanted to avoid, but it was no use to continue pushing the inevitable. “Come on, (Y/N),” he exclaimed. “You can’t tell me it doesn’t make sense. We work well together, we have chemistry, and we have known each other for so long. Why won’t you just give it a chance?”

“Because I don’t see you that way, Paul, and I never will,” she responded. “You’re my best friend, yes, and we get along well because of it. It doesn’t mean that I want to be with you. I told you from the start that this was not gonna be anything other than just a physical thing—I was very clear on that.”

“So, what? You just use me for my fucking body but won’t even give yourself a chance to see if you might have feelings for me?” Paul spat. “Is it because of the bloodsucker? He broke you so much that you won’t give anyone else a chance?”

“This has nothing to do with him. I simply don’t have feelings for you, Paul.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” His voice rose as he jumped to his feet. “He’s not coming back, (Y/N)! He left you. He took his family, and he left you. Why won’t you get over him already?”

“Whether he was here or not, my feelings for you wouldn’t change. I see you as a friend, and I’ll always see you as a friend, Paul,” (Y/N) stated, trying her best to stay calm. She knew that playing into his game would only work to make him angrier, and the result could be catastrophic. “If you can’t handle that, then I think it’s best we just cool things off.”

“Oh my god, you are still in love with him,” he scoffed. “After all that bullshit that you went through for months. He told you he didn’t care about you. He said you were only a moment in his eternal life. He doesn’t love you, and he never fucking did.”

By that point, the pair had gotten an audience, the two teens that were asleep on the couches had woken up and Sam had come out of his room. But none of that seemed to deter Paul from continuing with his rant. He was seeing red and didn’t care if what he said hurt her. “You don’t care that he stomped on your heart and didn’t give it another thought. I bet you’d take him right back if he asked,” he spat. “I guess you both have something in common, though. You take what you want from people and, once you’re done with them, you throw them away.”

“That’s quite enough, Paul.”

“No, Sam, it’s okay,” (Y/N) interjected. “From the beginning, you knew what you were getting into, Paul. I didn’t want a relationship, and I sure as hell have never given you any indication that I wanted one with you. I’m sorry if you are hurt, but I was very clear about what I did and didn’t want. It’s not my fault you believed this could ever go anywhere.”

“You knew exactly what you were doing when you asked me to be your fuck buddy,” the boy seethed. “You knew you’d be leading me on, and you held it over me like a fucking toy.”

“Don’t you dare put this on me, Paul,” she said, her tone rising as frustration overtook her. “I was very clear. I was very honest. Not once did I ever say or even insinuate that I wanted to be with you. I’m sorry that I did use you for your body and the convenience, but it is not my fault that you deluded yourself into believing that we could be together.”

“You are honestly unbelievable, (Y/N). You used me, and now you wanna make it my fault,” Paul pushed. He closed the distance between them, towering over her like a dark cloud. He could see or hear reason; he couldn’t even admit that everything he was saying was a lie. All he could see was red. “No wonder you fell for a bloodsucker. You’re just as heartless and cold as them. I bet you wouldn’t even give betraying us a second thought if it meant you could save one of them. Maybe he left you before you could leave him. After all, it is in your genes.”

The words struck a chord in (Y/N). She gathered all the strength she had, recoiled her hand, and slapped Paul firmly across the face. But where everyone was expecting her hand to shatter at the contact, the hit went through and made the boy’s face snap to the side. The mere surprise had him stumbling a couple of steps back, holding his face as it grew pink from the strike.

After the initial shock, anger bubbled inside him, and he charged toward (Y/N). But he couldn’t even make it a step toward her before Jared and Embry were shielding her. The boys grabbed Paul’s arms and held him back as he fought, yelling at them to let him go.

“That’s enough!” Sam’s voice bounced off the walls, sending shivers even down (Y/N)’s back. “Get out of here, Paul, and cool off. That’s an order. Go with him, Jared.”

The second-in-command pulled Paul out of the house and far from view, leaving Sam and Embry with a tearful (Y/N).

“Hey, Embry, can you give us a second?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he mumbled. “You okay, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” she sniffled. “Thanks.”

 “I’ll, uh, be in the guest room until my shift starts.”

Once the boy had left, Sam wrapped his arms tightly around his sister, allowing her to crumble in his embrace. “He’s an ass, (Y/N),” he whispered. “And he had no right to say any of those things.”

“But he’s a little bit right,” she cried. “A few months ago, I was ready to leave everyone behind for a man that didn’t even spare me a thought. And then I used Pau to fill a void someone else left, knowing he had feelings for me. I’m just like dad.”

“Hey, absolutely not. You are nothing like him,” Sam affirmed. He cradled her face in his hands, wiping away the tears on her cheeks. “You are by far one of the most amazing human beings I know. You’re intelligent, you’re caring, and so determined. I don’t think you know just how proud I am of you. Paul’s just butthurt that you don’t like him. He doesn’t deal well with rejection.”

“It doesn’t mean he’d no right.”

“What could he possibly be right about? He’s barely passing his classes.”

“I still love him,” she answered meekly, her voice so low and broken she wasn’t sure she had said anything at all. “I miss him every single day, no matter what I do to forget him. I keep waking up thinking he’ll be just a drive away, but then I get to the hospital, and his office is empty. It’s not a bad dream, Sam. It’s my reality.”

“Bean, I didn’t… why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this?  I thought things were better.”

“Well, I thought the last thing you wanted to hear about was about my ex-boyfriend, who is literally centuries older than me and is your natural-born enemy,” (Y/N) chuckled through her tears. “And it’s not easy to say that I’m not over the guys that told me I was just a spec of sand in his lifetime.”

“Love is a strange thing, (Y/N). It’s hard to come by, and it takes forever to move on from. It hurts for a really long time, until one day you wake up and it doesn’t anymore,” he said, brushing back strands of her hair. “I don’t care who this guy is, Bean. If you need me, if you need to talk, you just have to tell me. I am here for anything you need. He may have been my enemy, but you are my sister, and that trumps everything.”

“Do you think they’ll ever come back?”

“Maybe not in our lifetime. The last time they left, they didn’t come back for almost seventy years. If they do come back, it’ll be long after we’re dead,” he shrugged. “Do you want them to?”

“Is it selfish if I say I do?”

“I mean, it does make me question how we’re related,” he teased. “But I don’t think you’re selfish for it. Just promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“If by some weird trick of the universe they do decide to come back, that you won’t go back to him, (Y/N). Or at least give him hell for it first.”

“I can promise you I will make him grovel until his knees give out,” she grinned softly. “But I do hope that, if they don’t come back, living without him gets easier soon enough. I hate carrying this black hole inside me.”

“It’ll get better one day, Bean,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her. “But while it isn’t, let me carry this burden with you. And just take things one at a time. Focus on school and work and forget about this whole thing with Paul. He’ll see reason soon enough.”

“I love you, Sam. Thank you fed everything that you’ve done.”

“I love you too, kid.”

“I’m only a year younger than you,” she laughed.

“A year is still a year,” he smiled as he chuckled. “Now, let’s get you home so you can rest and forget this all happened.”

Yet, it was a moment none of them would be able to rid from their minds. (Y/N) should not have been able to slap Paul without hurting herself, and she most definitely should not have hurt him. But, at that moment, no one was thinking about that. All they wanted was comfort and rest, and that’s all they did. Because in their town, there was always something new lurking around the corner.

Next ->

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@lainlovelain

[ourpreciousthings]

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭

Rating: 18+

Summary: Your neighbour hood best friend invited you to stay at the Millers, what could be so bad about staying with someone you have known since high school? How could a late-night swim change everything?

Word count: 27,807

CW: Dom!Joel, Sub!Reader, Basically Porn, Chocking, daddy!k!ink (if you squint), Pet Names, Praise!k!nk, Degration!kInk, Metions Of Physical@buse, Sir!k!nk, Unprotected P in V (wrap it before you tap it kids), Breeding!k!nk (if you squint), Porn With Mild Plot... Let me know if I forgot anything, thank you all and I love you!

A/N: Some parts feel rushed but I hope you enjoy it overall! P.S. I decided to just make this a oneshot instead of a small shitty seires and I got some people saying that they couldn't find some of them and I think that's for the best for this one.

Pairing: DBF/BSFD!Joel Miller X f!reader (No outbreak) (Joel is 40 and Reader is 21)

“I told you I can go to my aunt's place for the break,” “and I told you my dad insisted, he wouldn’t want you to spend summer break alone,” she cocked her perfectly shaped brow. “Sarah, I have known your dad for the longest time, and I know he wouldn’t. I just don’t want to be a bother,” I huff as the cruel heat of Dallas fills my lungs. “You? A bother? Never, he adores you, maybe a bit too much but I mean he enjoys the company, just make an old man happy,” she tucked a blonde lock behind her ear. “Okay, I mean I guess it’s better than staying with Aunt Marry in San Antonio,” “you got that right,” she scoffed.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

Spending summer with a hot Joel Miller, not how I choose to spend my time relaxing. How can I even relax when he is strutting around the house in those tight shirts that stick to his muscular body as a light layer of sweat coats his skin? I down the last of my beer as Sarah stood from the pool. 

“Hey, guess who is coming over?” She asked in a whisper, “well if you’re whispering, I guess your dad won’t like them,” I look up from my tilted shades.

“Just guess,” “who?” “The whole gang,” she hummed to herself. “There is no way everyone is in town by coincidence, you set this up,” I said in more of a statement than a question shifting in my seat. “You would have said no if I told you Mitchy was coming,” I hate when she put aside my feelings to please others, just for her own pleasure at times... “Yeah, no shit Sarah-” 

“Hey girls, there are some boys looking for you” his deep voice drew my eyes from an irritated Sarah. 

“They aren’t my guest now are they?” “It’s okay, I got it,” she hopped up, rushing past Joel “so I take it you didn’t really want to be here huh?” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “No, I mean yes I did, I do. I just didn’t think she would invite people who don’t treat us like people to spend the break with,” I scoff, staring at the pool...

“I can tell them to leave if you want,” he said sitting in the empty chair next to me “god no, she would kill us both for doing that,” “I really am glad you came to stay with us even if Sarah just wants to hang out with other people,” he said with a soft smile that warms my body, shaking it off as I quickly stand.

"You okay?” “Yeah, just need another beer,” I groaned, walking through the sliding doors. I want to say that I wish I had stayed at the dorms, but a small part of me knows I can’t stay away from him.

“Hey, long time no see,” his voice interrupted my thoughts. “Hey Mitchel, yeah, it’s been a long time,” “so I just wanted to say-” “Save it, please I just want to relax and enjoy the Sun,” I held the neck of the beer bottle with a death grip. 

“Hey, I was just trying to be nice,” he held his hands up in defence.

“Why are you even here, Mitch?” I scoff, tilting my head. “Sarah invited me, and last time I remembered this is her house, not yours, but Sarah is the one who sent me over here, so if you want to be mad, be mad at her,” he scoffed, turning on his heels.

The thought of Sarah doing this to you again hurt, but not as much as the reminder that you have no place here.

“So you and Mitchel, huh?” His eyes piercing through me as if he knew what set me off. “What?” “I saw you and Wright's boy talkin’ so I thought you know, y’all were a thing,” was it the beer or could you see a small glint of jealousy in his eyes? No, it couldn’t be, he is too good for you.

“No, Sarah might have said that, but we are not a thing,” I plopped myself down on to my now warm tanning chair. “Oh,” is all he said before standing and walking away. 

-

The sun had set hours ago, but the heat hasn’t let up. The water of the pool shining through my window catches my eye, the thought of swimming sounds so perfect right now. I slowly open the door to keep the quiet night at bay, I leave my door ajar as I see a small light from Joel’s tv shining from under his door.

It was easy to sneak past the doors and through the quiet house to the sliding doors that led to the pool that had been calling my name. I quickly discard my small shorts and crop v-neck, slowly stepping into the water, letting out a soft groan at the cooling water around my heated skin.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

A swift movement caught my attention as I sank deeper into the water, I scanned my window slowly, moving over to the window next to it.

Joel’s window. And boy was that a sight to see, he was jerking off. He was pounding into his hand as his head was thrown back and mouth agape...

Without thinking, my hand snaked down my body to the waistband of my panties. The sight was so beautiful. I wonder what he sounded like, what he tasted like, how he would feel on my tongue...

Fuck, I wonder what he looks like coming undone. As if he could hear my thoughts, he turned more to the window, shooting his load in three long ropes. His head hanging low as he clenched his fist on his beautiful body.

I lowly moan, dragging my finger over my sensitive bud, drawing fast circles. My release begging to crash through my body.

"Fuck..” I gasp, resting my head on the side of the pool “fuck me,” I shudder, eyes rolling to the back of my head as the thought of his strong hands running over my body, owning my body, making me cum in so many ways that I have never even thought of “shit,” I cried out, orgasm taking over.

I ride out my high slowly, opening my eyes, seeing a small shadow where Joel had stood now closer to the window...

Shit. Shit. Shit.

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Rushing out of the pool, collecting my clothes, and quickly drying myself off. Scurrying up the stairs as quietly as I can to avoid talking to Joel, who I watched jerk off, who I came undone to at the thought of his hands on me...

I close the door just in time, hearing his door across the hall open slightly, mumbling something as he shut it once again... I. Am. Screwed.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The bright sun shining through the window, beaming onto my face makes me groan, rolling over onto my stomach. “Shit.” The clock on the nightstand reminded me that I have to face the man of my dreams and now nightmares...

I drag myself down the stairs, groaning at the smell of sweetness coming from the kitchen. “Hey, dad left for work already so I thought I would make us some breakfast before meeting up with the guys” “the guy’s?” “Yeah... Zoe, Carter, and Mitchel,” she said so calmly, flipping the pancake. 

“No, I am not going. My plan is to unwind and have some peace and quiet. I will not find that spending my precious time with my ex and the one he cheated on me with!” I slam my fist on the kitchen table. 

“look, I am sorry-” “No you’re not, just go have fun. I’ll be fine by myself,” I huff, taking a beer from the fridge “I always am,” I muttered in search of the bottle opener.

-

Three beers in I decided to let my feeling get in the way... Having felt bad for drinking almost all of Joel’s cold beverages, I have found myself in a quiet bar and it isn’t even 4 PM...

“Look darlin’, you can keep drinking or go home but you can’t stay here,” he said with a thicker southern accent “I thought I was your favorite customer Sean,” “you are, because you know your limit and I think you are trying to get passed that right now but I can’t have you drinking and driving sweetness,” he laughed throwing a towel on his shoulder. “Lucky for you I’m walking,” I give a half-hearted smile.

“Fine drink up, we close in 40 minutes after that I will drop you off at home,” “hmm not home, the Millers,” “the Millers? You’re stayin’ at the Millers?” “Yeah, Sarah wanted me to stay,” “you’re still friends with that kid?” “Just because I am a year older than her doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with her,” “that’s not what I mean-” “I know what you mean and we are not gonna talk about it,” I bark at him “yes ma’am,” he scoffed backing away.

-

“Okay, pack it up we are out of here,” he said handing me a bottle of water “thank you Sean,” “no need to thank me darlin’, I am here for you and you know that,” he said locking the door. “So does your dad know you’re stayin’ there?” “Sean,” I gave a warning glare “hey I’m just askin’,” “no, he doesn’t and he doesn’t know what happened either so just don’t Sean,” “wow, that’s a lot to keep darlin’,” “yeah you get used to it I guess,” “hey I have known you for your whole life, things like this never happened to you and now you are suddenly so calm and collected. Damn collage really does change you, the 18-year-old you would have raised hell, and I would have loved every second of it,” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around me.

The ride is silent, but it feels right. “I hate drinking,” I stare out the window, leaning my head back. “Why?” “It allows my brain to think about things I choose to keep hidden in the back of my mind,” like the fact that I have a hot man across the hall from me and he also caught me watching him come undone. The thought of last night made me cringe.

“Okay, let’s take your mind off of that, how is Dallas? How’s school?” “School is great, umm nothing much there. Dallas I love it, it’s fun and crazy.” 

“Any boyfriend?” “no, no boyfriend,” I scoff, “really?” He made quick glances my way. I searched his face, expecting any sign of mockery, there is none... 

“Yes really, those kids aren’t for me,” “kids? You’re a kid honey,” he laughed “yeah don’t remind me,” “why do you say that?” “I feel much older than I am, like I hang out with all these kids and all they want to do is party and know who is fucking who? And I just-” 

“Want to be alone with some quiet time?” “Yes! And they can even wrap their heads around that,” “look, just don’t worry about it you will have your whole life to be alone with your thoughts,” “no, peace and quiet, my thoughts are not quiet,” I shake my head laughing.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The car ride is something I needed. To talk to someone who isn’t so self absorbed, so clingy, so Sarah...

“Thank you Sean, I mean it,” “you never have to thank me dear, I enjoyed talkin’ to you,” he said unfastening his seat belt “what are you doing?” “What does it look like I’m doin’? I am goin’ to walk you to the door silly,” he laughed, hopping out the truck.

“Hey, I am here if you ever need me, hell if you ever want to stop by Austin, you know where to find me,” he said before kissing my cheek... Shit, heart don’t do that- and before my brain can process what is going on my body swiftly attaches itself to his.

Catching his lips with mine. “No, we can’t you have been drinkin’,” “I am sober enough Sean,” I gasp feeling his hardening length on my thigh “fuck what are you doin’ to me?” He groaned pushing me through the door. 

“Kissing you,” I say breathlessly, moving to pin his arms above his head, “fuck,” he hissed as I dragged my lips down his neck to his exposed collarbone.

“What the fuck is going on here?” The sound of his heavy boots bounced off the walls, making my heart race. Pushing off of Sean, I fixed my shirt.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t see your truck out there,” “I sent Sarah to go look for you, now again, what is going on here?” He asked with a stern tone, his cocked eyebrow says he wasn’t asking me to tell him.

He was demanding me to tell him why I am in his house with a man I’m pretty sure he has warned me about…

“Hey Joel,” “Sean, I think it’s best if you leave,” “he is my guest Joel, don’t be rude-” 

“Are you drunk?” He spat, taking a step closer.

“That is not the point here and I’m not that drunk, I am fine.” “You knew she was drinking and yet you still came here with her?” 

“Well-” 

“He was giving me a ride home because your daughter took off with her little friends, so I went walking to the bar and he gave me a ride Joel this is all on me not him,” I said making him huff.

“Come on Sean, I’ll walk you out,” I put my hand on his wrist pulling him towards me. Closing the door with a sigh. 

“Sorry about that-” “Look I know we had something going on back then and I would love to act on it but I have known that man for most of my life and judging by the look that he just gave me tells me that I shouldn’t even be speaking to you right now,” he scratched his beard. “I really am sorry.” “Me too, but if you ever need a friend, you know where to find me,” he placed a kiss on my cheek...

Opening the front door with a groan, I kick off my shoes, taking them to the kitchen with me to grab another beer “I don’t think so little miss.” “Oh so are you the beer police now?” “Yeah if it’s my beer you are stealin’,” he chuckled, rolling my eyes at his attempt to make a joke right now. “Hey, I was just playin’,” he softly said, handing me a beer.

“I hate you,” I said with gritted teeth throwing the bottle in the sink, the sound of glass shattering echoing throughout the silent house. “What-” “Fuck you, Joel,” I say as calmly as I can trying to keep my childish outburst at bay. 

“But-” He cut himself off, stepping closer.

“Just stop,” I held up my hand taking a step back “I don’t want to talk to you, or see you, or your ass of a daughter. I just need to be alone,” I rush off to the stairs hoping he won’t follow because I know if he tries to stop me I won’t hesitate to rush into his big strong arms... The words I never thought I would say come flying back to my mind as I slide down my closed door ‘I hate you’...

   Joel

“Shit,” I groaned as I fished for my phone that was ringing in my right pocket. “Hello?” “Hey, Dad are you on your way home?” “Yeah, I just left the site about 15 minutes ago why do you girls need me to pick somethin’ up for y’all?” “That’s the thing Dad, she’s not here...” “Not there what do you mean? You were with her all day, weren’t you?” “No, I have a life you know?” She scoffed.

Of course, she left her, once again turning her back to her best and only good friend to do what? Who the hell knows... 

“Okay well, I will be home in a bit, so just stay there Sarah,” hanging up the phone tossing it into the passenger seat. Where the fuck did she go?

Rushing through the door, I see Sarah just sitting there on her phone, such a great friend. “Any sign of her?” “No, she’s not even answering her phone,” she rolled her eyes “okay her are my keys, take the truck and look at any of the places that you think she would be in,” I ordered not giving her time to protest.

Checking my phone to see if Sarah got a hold of her, I hear the door crash open; I rush in to see if it was her... It was her touching a boy, touching all over him. I am filling with anger? Is it jealousy? Am I Jealous of her searching his body? The way she leaves soft kisses down his jaw and neck- oh how soft her plump lips look- that should be me with her lips all over me. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” “What are you doing here? I didn’t see your truck out there,” “yeah, I sent Sarah to go look for you, now again, what is going on here?” I demanded an answer from this. “Sean, I think it’s best if you leave,” I shifted my gaze to him, cocking a brow. “He is my guest Joel, don’t be rude,” she said with a small slur. “Are you drunk?” I can feel my palm twitch.

“That is not the point here and I’m not that drunk, I am fine,” “you knew she was drinking and yet you still came here with her?” I clenched my jaw rage falling through me. “Well-” “He was giving me a ride home because your daughter took off with her little friends, so I went walking to the bar and he gave me a ride Joel this is all on me not him,” I huffed at her words, yeah right.

She walked him out. I bet he’s touching her right now... I hear her groan as she passed through the living room, “I don’t think so little miss,” I said blocking the fridge. “Oh, so are you the beer police now?” “Yeah if it’s my beer you are stealin’,” she rolled her eyes.

“Hey, I was just playin’,” I softly said handing her a beer. “I hate you,” she said with gritted teeth throwing the bottle in the sink, “what-” “fuck you, Joel,” she said in a calm tone that sent chills down my spine. “But-” I can’t even think of words as I took a step closer. "Just stop,” she held up her hand taking a step away from me “I don’t want to talk to you, or see you, or your ass of a daughter. I just need to be alone,” she said before running off...

‘I hate you’ it rang through my ears as my heart shattered at her words... What just happened? How did I fuck this up? I am supposed to be here for her and yet I am just fucking everything up.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The front door closed softly, bringing me back from my deep thoughts. “I can’t find her anywhere, did she show up?” “Why doesn’t she want to see you? Why is she mad at you?” “So she is here? What did she tell you now?” She crossed her arms. “Nothing actually, she just said that she didn’t want to talk or see me and you, I know what I did to piss her off, so what did you do?” I matched her crossed arms. 

“Nothing Dad, she is just dramatic that’s all,” she said pushing past me. “Why is there glass in the sink?” “Because she was mad, you know she only gets like that when she is really hurt,” I tilted my head. “No, she gets like that when she is drunk, like I said she’s dramatic,” she huffed. “I don’t see her being dramatic, I see her hurt and her best friend wasn’t even with her today, why is that?” 

“She told me to go, so I went. I wasn’t gonna stay here and baby her.” “Wow Sarah, I didn’t raise you like that, she is your friend and you take care of her no matter what!” “Okay Dad, yeah I am just supposed to babysit her yeah,” she scoffed. 

“She does it for you all the time!” “Oh yeah like when Dad?” “When y’all would come over and she had a date or something with her other friends and family she would cancel so she could be your wingman, designated driver when you were sick!” I yell in a whisper.

“So?” “So? So you be there for her,” “fine I’ll go talk to her-” “no you won’t, she needs space, so give it to her,” “whatever dude,” she huffed turning on her heels “young lady! Dude?” “Sorry jeez, I’m sorry dad,” “I am done talkin’ to you, go to your room,” “planin’ on it,” she gave a fake smile.

Reader

The yelling has stopped. Sun has set. My heart still aching... I wish I had stayed at the dorms. I need a drink... I slip through the hall and down the stairs in a slow pace not paying attention to anything on the way to the kitchen “can’t sleep either?” His low voice startling me “shit, I didn’t see you there,” I gasped walking to the fridge. 

“I am sorry for earlier, and I’m sorry about Sarah,” he sat with his hands clasped around the neck of the bottle, head hanging low. “Yeah, you get used to it,” I say looking for that damn bottle opener.

“Did she tell you anything?” “Nope, just a lot of bullshit. She called me dude, that is not the girl I raised,” he sadly said before downing the rest of his beer. “Well, I guess I will be out of your hair then, I know you didn’t want to see let alone speak to me-” “I am sorry for acting that way, I only get like that when I’m drunk,” the lie rolls off of my tongue so easily it doesn’t even hurt anymore. 

“I have known you since 10th grade and I have seen you like that many times, and this is the first time I have seen you like this drunk... You are calmer drunk.” A small chuckle hummed from his chest. “thanks-” “Please let me in, let me help,” he said in broken words. “You can’t,” I sighed hopping onto the counter.

“I have tried to be strong, and happy. I can talk my way out of so many situations, but there are some things I can’t always get myself out of.” “Like what?” He took my beer opening it for me. “Thank you, Joel can I ask you something?” “Yeah, anything,” “Ugh I hate this,” I groaned hanging my head.

“Why do guys suck?” “I’m sorry?” His shocked expression brought a sad smile to my face “I can’t talk about this with anyone else, but you are here, and you always listen to me. You always make the right decision.” “Okay, continue.” “Why are guys so, stupid?” “Stupid how? Like IQ-wise? Vocabulary wise? In-” “Mitchel cheated on me,” I interrupted Joel as his face dropped from a sad smile to a mixture of disbelief and anger. 

“What?” “He slept with one of our friends, and I ended it. I am strong and I let things go, I pay no mind to things anymore... But I’m not strong, I’m not fine, I am tired. I am tired of everything,” I choke out the last part letting a tear fall.

He stood in front of me catching the tears that I let go. It has been too long since I have allowed myself to show others how fragile I really am... With Joel I never felt like I had to put up a front, he always cared. He’d listen all night if he had to, I would talk his ear off as I kept watch over Sarah after she did a little too much coke when she was 18.

I would return the favor when his dates were shitty, and he just needed someone to talk to late at night... No one would ever know that sometimes we would call each other when I was away at school and it was late at night and we just needed to talk.

“Why did you stop callin’?” He lifted my chin so that I would actually look at him “why didn’t you call and tell me?” “I was scared,” I laughed at the small sniffle I made “of what?” “Of losing my best friend,” “Oh honey Sarah would-” “not her, you, I was scared of losing you Joel,” “and why would you be scared of losing me?” His voice so soft and caring, it makes my heart swell.

“Because you are the only one I can actually be myself with, and I know I haven’t been treating you that way lately but I mean so much shit is going through my mind lately I can’t think with you here” the words spill out of my mouth before I can catch them. I slowly shut my eyes waiting for his disgusted response...

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“And what am I doing that has your pretty little mind so distracted?” The way he says ‘pretty’ has me pressing my thighs together. Come on, get. A. Grip. “Come on, you can tell me,” his tall frame towering over me, fuck it. It’s either this or tell him everything...

“What has you so worked up?” He said with innocence but his eyes gave him away, pupils were blown wide. “You, and those damn tight shirts,” I scan his body seeing my favorite tight white shirt with his grey sweat pants “I think we should talk about the other night sweetheart,” shit. “Don’t you think?” He tilted his head scanning my face. “What about it?” I say low enough for him to hear.

“You weren’t being very nice, watching me get off” I have to bite my lip to hold back a whimper at the image of him pounding into his fist and head hanging back. “No,” “what was that?” He teased at my low response “I said no, it wasn’t very nice. But when have you ever known me to be a good girl Mr. Miller?” I spread my legs inviting him in.

A low groan escaped his throat “fuck” he hissed as I pulled him in by his waistband. “You have always been a good girl for me, don’t you think so?” He gripped my jaw forcing me to make eye contact, his grip tightening waiting for an answer. “Yes,” I moan out at the feeling of his hard cock pressed against my thigh. 

“Then you won’t have any trouble being a good girl for me tonight will you?” His hand traveled to my throat applying some pressure “fuck, I won’t,” I grind myself on his thick thigh. “Good, now let’s take care of you, pretty girl,” he pulled me closer giving my lips a teasing peck before leaning in for a needy, sloppy kiss that takes my breath away.

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5 Years Ago

"Hey, Dad you home?" I called out as tossing my keys onto the entry table. "Hey honey, we are in the kitchen!" He yelled out. "We?" I asked walking through the living room. "Hey sweetheart, how was school?" "The same old same old," I laughed at the same question he has been asking me for 10 years since we moved to Austin.

"Hey, before you do your homework can you come and taste the food?" "Yeah, just let me set down my bag," I yell from the hallway leading to my room. "Okay honey," he sang from the kitchen.

"Okay Dad, I am here to be your taste tester-" "Ah! Y/n this is Joel. He is my coworker and his daughter is with some friends so I invited him for dinner so the old man won't be alone," he laughed patting his shoulder.

"Hi Joel," I held out my hand as my dad grabbed some beers. "Hi y/n," he shook my hand at a slow pace. He is hot, why do all the hot guys have to be older than me? Wait, he has a daughter? Great, hopefully, I don't have to be forced to like her...

"Okay, now food, taste it please!" He laughed "Hector, your cooking is always good, I love the lunches you bring to work!" "Actually those are y/n's lunches, she always cooks my lunch." "Really?" "Yeah, I mean he raised me I can at least make him food for work," I laughed going to the spice cabinet.

4 Years Ago

"So, he didn't show huh?" "Nope, you know him so well," I scoffed. "Hey I called it, he wasn't any good for you," his tone was so soft, it made my heart swoon. "Yeah, you called it," I sigh curled up on Joel's comfy couch, waiting for my dad to pick me up. "Thank you for -

cooking dinner, and lunch for tomorrow, Sarah is really going to love it," he hummed.

"When am I going to meet this daughter of yours hmm?" "Soon, I think you will really like her." "If you say so Miller," "I told you it's just Joel, I have known you for a while now you can call me Joel," he huffed.

I loved calling him Miller, it always got under his skin because that's what my dad calls him... I love to get under his skin. I love- no not love, like... I like him.

3 Years Ago

"Tell me all about it!" I yelled plopping on his couch. "About what?" "The date, how was she?" "You would hate her!" "Why? Is she better than me?" I joked. "No, not even close to you," he laughed. "Okay so then what gives?" "She was all about her, her, her, and oh yeah, her! She didn't even remember my name till it was time to pay and she wanted to take me home," "ew," "ew is right," he shrugged off his coat.

We were watching a movie when his front door opened. "Dad?" "Sarah, I thought you were staying the night?" "I was going to, but they wanted to watch anything that wasn't scary so that blows," that is his daughter? Damn, I wonder what her mother looked like... No one could ever compete with those looks... "Who is she? I know you like em young but damn dad," "Sarah!" I laughed at his reaction.

"Hi, I'm y/n," "Sarah, so you and my dad huh?" "No, just friends," I laughed. "She is even prettier than you said Dad," she stated sitting in the empty single chair. "You said I'm pretty? Not too bad yourself, Joel," I said tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"You called me Joel," he gasped in fake awe. "Would you prefer me to call you Miller again? Because I will if you want me to," "Joel is just fine," "Get a room you two," "I should go, my dad is waiting for me at home." "Okay let me walk you out," he said following me to the door.

2 Years Ago

"Congratulations!" Joel yelled pulling me into a tight hug. "Thank you," I give a genuinely happy smile to him and his beautiful big brown eyes. "Don't forget to come and visit on the weekends, I mean for you to get away from all of that," "I will don't worry, plus I'm pretty sure Sarah is going to drag me along with her," I smiled toward Sarah who is talking to some of our friends by our Uhaul... I am going to miss Austin but thankfully Dallas isn't far from here.

"Remember, you can call me whenever! I am available at any time of the day," he held on tightly to me. "So you just going to steal my daughter?" My dad asked Joel. "No Hector," he grumbled "he just doesn't have any friends his own age, so he hangs around your daughter who acts like she is 90 with a bad back," Sarah laughed at her own joke and frankly she isn't wrong...

I have been hanging out with Joel since the day I met him. Whether it was because my dad was out of town, or because he wanted a home-cooked meal because Sarah wasn't going to be home, or just simply because we enjoyed each other's company. If he needed someone to talk to about girls, I was the one and it went the same way for me... But it hurt seeing him always so down because all the 'girls' he thought he would like just wanted to use him for sex.

1 Year Ago

"Hey, my dad called to see if you were okay," "he did?" "Why is Mr. Miller calling for you?" Mitchel asked cocking his brow. "Because she didn't answer him or her dad," she shook her head with a mocking expression. "They will be fine without me bothering their lives, just tell him I am fine," I huffed hopping off of my bed.

I haven't been in contact with Joel or my dad since we got back from Austin, 2 months ago... That is very much not like me, but with school, Sarah, and Mitchel... I can never be alone. I miss talking to him, hearing how his day went, who annoyed him... I miss our late-night calls when we would talk all night about nothing, we would call just to talk, to hear each other's voice...

Present Time

I have known this man since I was 16; we told each other almost everything as our friendship grew closer. So I have no idea how I even ended up in this situation...

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Joel, kneeling between my legs kissing his way up my calves. Fuck I never thought having such a powerful man on his knees would be so tempting. "Joel," I whisper running my fingers through his beautiful curls making him look up at me, and damn those eyes. "Yes?" "Please," I don't even know what I am begging for, it just feels right giving up everything to him. He slowly stands to place a kiss on my lips "Let's undress you first hm?" I could only nod at his words.

"Let's start here, on this little shirt that you just love to tease me with," "I- I don't mean to," yes you do. You love to tease this man, he likes to act like he doesn't notice her but you notice when he suddenly leaves the room coming back 20 minutes later in a fresh pair of clothes.

He dropped it with a hiss staring at your bare chest, breast on full display. His gaze is heating your body, maybe a little too much, moving your arm to cover your now-hardening nipples he stops your movements. "Don't cover up, I am just admiring your beautiful body," I have no idea what made me so confident... "You're drooling Joel, and you haven't even seen my pussy," a groan forced itself out from deep in Joel's chest.

"Baby, I don't have to see that pretty cunt of yours to make me drool for you," he rasped cupping my breasts "fuck," I grinned playfully as he attached my breast, sucking and nibbling down my chest. "Fuck, please do that again," I whined arching my back. "What don't your little boys pay enough attention to your beautiful breasts," he kissed the underside of my breast. "Not like that, I knew they wouldn't satisfy me so I always just rushed it with them," I groaned hanging my head back.

"Now that is sad, how could they not appreciate these?" He hissed, cupping my breasts in his large hands, "just like all the other boys, they couldn't give me what I wanted," I sighed. "Ah yes, 'the boys' they could never satisfy a woman like yourself," he hummed stroking my sides. 

"Mm never, it takes a real man to handle all of me and my needs." "Well, I could give you what you need," his voice hoarse as his hand snaked up to my neck. "Oh, you think so Mr. Miller?" "Oh, I know so pretty girl," he whispered into my ear.

"You are so beautiful," he groaned as he slowly trailed down my stomach, hooking his fingers around the waistband of my pajama shorts. "Is this okay, sweetheart?" "More than okay, Joel," I said as he pulled down my shorts and panties in a swift movement.

He backed away, just staring at my nakedness. His gaze makes me self-conscious, so I cover myself. "Don't do that please, I am trying to look at what I missed out on, your body is just breathtaking I could look at you like this every day," he lowered himself to my cunt. He licked a long strip through my folds, sending a shiver up my spine "fuck," I let out a low moan, arching my back.

"Joel, don't stop please," I grind my cunt on his tongue "I wouldn't dream of it my pretty girl," he rasped adding two fingers into me. "Oh my god," I shutter almost cumming on his fingers as he wrapped his beautiful lips around my clit. "You taste so sweet baby," he mumbled bringing his soaked fingers to my lips. I lap my tongue around his hard fingers, sucking them clean "fuck that's it, pretty girl, just like that," his lust-filled voice brings me closer.

"Fuck Joel," I held his wrist as he fastened his pace, his free hand traveling to my throat applying pressure. "Please make me cum Joel," I beg, shutting my eyes. "Oh, baby you don't have to beg me, but I can't say no to those pretty moans," he cooed.

"Come on, I can feel you clenchin' me so tightly," he groaned "cum for me, I want to taste you beautiful," I open my eyes to see his brown eye staring into my soul. "Fuck," I came with a small scream, covering my mouth with my hand. "Yes, just like that. So pretty cummin' on my fingers," he hummed leaving a trail of kisses on my thighs.

"There you go," he said in awe as I slowly rode out my high. "Now where are your manners sugar?" He asked gripping my jaw. "Thank you, Mr. Miller," I said with innocent eyes. "You are going to be the death of me," he hissed grinding his clothed cock into my thigh.

"I can see you thinking, tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours," "I want to taste you, Joel," I bite my lip at the thought of having him all to myself. "Baby you don't have to do that,-" "I want to, I have been wanting to have your cock in my mouth ever since I walked in on you and that blonde bitch," I huffed as I raked my fingers through his hair "oh my baby that was 2 years ago," he said with a fake pout stroking my cheek with his thumb. "Please, Mr. Miller?" "Anything for you beautiful," he let out a breath as he helped me hop off of the counter.

"You are so handsome Joel," I groan playing with the hem of his shirt. "It's always these damn tight shirts, I can never look away," I whisper in his ear "I can tell," he laughed leaning in for a kiss. "Take this off, please."

"Well, since you asked nicely," my thighs pressed together as he shed the layer of clothing. Eyes raking over his upper torso "fuck, I love your body," I bite back a moan as I drag my nails along his burning skin.

I sank between his big thighs looking into his eyes, kissing a trail down his stomach "fuck you are stunning like that," he hissed. "Like what? Naked or between your thighs," I played with his waistband "god both," he huffed out a sigh. "Yes, I am god, the one and only," I smirked looking for approval. He gave me a small nod allowing me to pull down his sweats.

His big cock sprung out hitting his stomach, I smirked at the fact that he wasn't wearing any boxers. I practically drooled at the size of him, "fuck Joel," I gasped, wide-eyed. I mean I saw him from afar so I knew he was big, but damn.

"Look how pretty you are just waiting to have my cock, that pretty mouth just watering at the thought of you choking on me, so deep in your throat," he purred as I wrapped my fist around his thick shaft "mm fuck me," he groaned low and sexy his eyes full of hunger.

"I love the way you moan for me," my tongue lapping at his slit collecting his salty pre cum, watching his eyes roll to the back of his head taking his thick cock into my mouth with slow bobs.

His fingers laced into my hair tugging it, taking control of my movements "fuck just like that baby girl," his words made me still as he bucked his hip deep down my throat. He fucked my mouth hitting the back of my throat with every thrust making my eyes water.

Pulling me off of his cock with a small 'pop' "fuck if you could just see how beautiful you look with my cock in your mouth," he pulled me to him. "Call me that again," I grasped his jaw looking deep into his eyes. "What?" "Baby girl," I said lowly for only us to be heard. "Why? Does my baby girl like that?" I cut him off attaching my mouth to his hungrily. 

"Please fuck me," "we will get there, just give me a minute," he said capturing my lips with his, walking us to the kitchen table. "Please Joel, I'm on the pill." "Darlin'-" "Please I want to feel all of you," I stroked his cock. "Anything for you, sugar," he let out a breath as he sank into me.

"Holy shit," I gripped his shoulder "fuck, I stretched you out, and yet you are still so tight," he exhaled. "Just for you Joel," I laced my fingers in his short locks. "Please Move, Joel," "god I love the way you moan my name," he grunted sliding out of me only to slam back into me.

"Mmm mine," "he growled inching deeper. "Yours," I purred feeling his cock twitch. "Say it again" he moaned wrapping his hand around my throat "I'm yours," I cried out. "Joel, if you don't slow down I will cum too fast," I let out a whine as he didn't slow his pace. His fingers toyed with my clit till I came with a high-pitched moan, covering my mouth with his hand.

"Shh baby girl, we have to be quiet," he whispered in my ear making my eyes roll back. Coming down from my high he wrapped his hand around my throat. "Now what do we say after making you feel good?" "Thank you, Mr. Miller," "fuck," he groaned. "Thank you, sir," I whimper without thinking.

His movements came to a halt. "Say it again." "Thank you for making me cum sir, thank you, Mr. Miller," I cry out bitting onto his shoulder, reaching my third orgasm for the night. "Just like that honey, let me take care of you," he moaned as his thrust got sloppier.

"Cum in me please Joel, I want you to fill me up," my cheeks heat at my choice of words "Such a slut for me, wanting my cum so deep in you huh?" "Yes, I'm your slut," the words felt to right falling from my tongue... His slut. He came with a loud grunt, riding out his high. He sank to his knees, watching his cum drip out of me. He didn't hesitate to clean our mixed juices from my cunt.

"Wait right here," he said before walking out of the kitchen. He came back with some towels and clothes "I brought you one of my shirts because I think it would be better to sleep in," he said kneeling in front of me with a damp towel. He collected our clothes before caring me up the stairs to his room.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

We just lay in his bed for a while, in comfortable silence. "Why did you say you hate me earlier?" There it is, I sigh. "Because you were you," "I was me?" "Yes, I actually like Sean, and we had something after Josh left, and um I don't know seeing him again felt like it could have been something. So I said I hated you because you kicked out a guy that I could have been with. He was actually there for me, unlike every guy I have been with."

"And I wasn't any good?" "You were never available." "How was I never available? You were with me almost every day," he poked at my side. "You have Sarah," I giggle at his childishness. "So? I knew you first, I have known you for so many years before her so you can shove that excuse," he gave a hearty laugh.

It should feel weird talking like this with him... But it's him, it's Joel. We could talk about anything and it would never be weird. "So do you see a future with him?" "Sean? No." "Why not?" "He's great and all but I don't think it would have worked out either way, "why do you say that?" "I think I am a little too insecure for him," I tsk. "How are you 'too insecure for him?" He laughed "I don't know, I just am." "But not for me?" "For you, I am an open book," that is a lie, but he doesn't have to know that...

We have been talking for hours and he is finally in my arms ready to fall into a deep sleep and so am I... I have missed- needed this and I like- love him... Shit; I love Joel Miller.

Joel

I slowly open my eyes to my bright room, the sun shining through. The way she felt with me, it just felt so right to hold her in my arms last night. I see my watch on the nightstand, shit it's 9 in the morning... I turn over to see her and- she's gone. My heart breaks as my hand touches the now cold and empty spot she had laid the night before...

Sulking down the stairs I see Sarah sitting on the couch. "Hey, where is y/n?" "Wow, you never call her by her name, what did she do?" "Nothing have you seen her?" "Nope, she left early this morning," she huffed. She left? Saying nothing? She left me?

Reader

The moonlight danced around in his room. My heart swelled at the scene that had taken place, his large arms trapping me between them. I saw his watch on his nightstand, 5:30 in the morning... I need a shower, and I could make him some breakfast, I smile to myself.

I walk to my room with a towel wrapped around my body when I hear a door open. "What did you tell him?" She barked. "What?" "What did you tell my dad? He is pissed with me because you told him something," "I didn't tell him anything, so you're fine just go back to your room," I spat turning towards my door. "I don't believe you!" "You are so full of yourself!" "Oh, am I now?" "Sarah, what do you want? I need to get dressed," I said opening my door.

"Why so you can go meet with your alcoholic boyfriend?" "No, so I can go make some breakfast-" "For who?" "Me, your dad, maybe even you if you stop with this childishness!" "Why are you making my dad breakfast?" "Because I always do, you know he can't cook," "he can, and we have been here for 3 weeks and I haven't seen you cook for him once," she crossed her arms.

"Because I just wanted some space, okay? And now I just want to make it up to him with food, so I can say 'I'm sorry.' Is that what you wanted to hear?" I scoffed "I knew I should have never invited you, but he wanted you here, not me! So you can go die in a ditch somewhere because when we get back I am switching dorms!" She yelled down the hall...

My heart broke, not because she once again proved that she doesn't see me as a friend but because I want to be here, but I can't... I don't know why I keep telling myself that I have someplace here just because I spent almost every day here since I met him. I will never have a place here... Not with him, not in this house that kind of raised me...

-

A small bag is packed, the morning sun just rising... "Hey, thank you for picking me up," "is everything okay?" "Yeah, I just needed some space from that house," I sigh turning my head in his direction. "Her or him?" "Both." "You know you can talk to me, I am all ears," "I know Sean, but just kinda wanna go to sleep." "Okay, well I will drop you off at the house and you can get some rest," "that sounds nice," I say more to myself than him...

"Hey, we are here," he said lightly shaking me awake "I'm up," I moved my hand to his. "You say that but your eyes are still closed," he laughed. "I will be back in just a few hours to check up on you, um I have some records if you want to play some music while you sleep." "Ah, you remembered?" "How can I forget? You would constantly steal all of my CDs, so I have some of your favorites in there, you know where your spare key is, do what you have to do," he said softly.

"Thank you, really-" "Stop with the sad 'thank you’s, I have always told you, I would be here for you so I am gonna keep that word... I am not going to let some silly guy get in the way of that," he laughed "yeah okay," I gave a small laugh. "Go and get some sleep dear," he said unbuckling my seatbelt. "Okay, I will see you in a bit," "Yes you will, and I will stop by your favorite Chinese place on the way back." "That would be nice," I said hopping out of his truck, grabbing my small bag.

It's almost sad to say that I missed this place too, if I wasn't at Joel's house I was here... Tossing my key onto the small coffee table I scan the small living room, just as I remembered it. I kick off my shoes making my way to his bedroom, the bedroom I have spent many nights in... I am utterly fucked up.

-

I haven't moved from the small ball I have curled myself into. Slowly opening my eyes, I see the clock on his desk in front of the bed it's 3:19PM. I snuggle my head into my arm before hearing the door unlock from the hall.

"You awake?" He called out slowly pushing open the door to his room. "Yeah, I just woke up," I said finally stretching my body, "you still sleep the same when you're upset," "I do?" "Yes, that silly little ball you make yourself so you feel protected till someone comes and cuddles with you," he laughed removing his shoes and denim jacket. "You know me so well," "I do, and that's why I brought myself and Chinese," he held a brown bag.

We ate in bed and just lay there, talking and listening to music... "So you gonna tell me what happened?" He asked playing with my hair "Sarah said that I can go die in a ditch because basically, she doesn't believe the fact that I cook for Joel," "Okay, I some context for that please," "I slept with Joel, and I wanted to make him some breakfast as an apology for yelling at him and throwing some shit," "oh you still do that too?" He joked.

"Anyway, I wanted to make him some food, but I wanted to shower first so I did, then she stopped me in the hall yelling at me because she thinks I told Joel about what happened," I scoffed. "Just tell him, you have to stop covering for her," "I can't," "and why is that?" "Because I will lose him if I do."

"Why do you say that?" "He will choose her over me, and I don't want to make him, so I just suffer in silence." "That is bullshit! You need to tell him," "I won't." "This is why your thoughts are killing you, you need to get this shit off of your chest," he said slowly pulling me in close. "Everyone will hate me," I said into his chest.

"Are you the one who-" "Sean, stop," I gave a warning glare. "Look I love you and you know that, do you love him?" "I- I don't know," I hesitated. "Do you love him?" "Yes, I do." "Does he love you?" "No, I don't think so, I mean I don't know." "You don't think so?" "What?" "I'm just sayin', who can't love you?" "A lot of people, I am annoying," "No you're not, he was a dick. He made you stop talking to everyone in town, you stopped calling your dad, Joel, me... People needed you and you just stopped talking to them."

"No one needed me," I laughed. "I did," he said looking into my eyes. "I missed my friend," "god why do I do that?" "What?" "I always make friends with older people when all I can do is act like a kid," I cover my face with my hand at the stupid question. "You have a right to feel like that when I get hurt like you did I act out I mean you have seen me at my worst."

"Yes, and it was a pain," "I remember puking everywhere," "and I had to chase you with a bucket because you refused to puke in the toilet," I let out a sad laugh. "Yeah, I was a complicated drunk," he laughed "I love your laugh, I missed it," I said giving him a soft and sad hug. "I miss yours too, I miss the little look you would give me when you were up to somethin', tryin' to hide it from me," "me too..."

"He really fucked you up huh?" "Yeah, it took me a while to find this part of myself, that's when I stopped calling... I didn't see the world or anything the same way anymore," "I get it," "I mean I just wanted to stop the whole world, to stop my thoughts but with the two of them I couldn't think because they were always there. I couldn't call you or Joel because they were right there, and I needed someone," I let out a sob.

"Hey, well you're here now. I've got you now," he pulled me onto him. "You know he is going to kill me if he finds out that you are here right?" He asked looking down to see my tear-stained face "he will be fine." "No, he won't and you know that," "I wish I had stayed at the dorms."

"Oh, you don't mean that." "Actually, I think I do, I mean if I had stayed I wouldn't have any time to ruin anything..." "You haven't ruined anything, the truth is just slowly coming out, you are not doing anything wrong," he placed a soft kiss on my head.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

There was a soft knock on the door... "Hey it's probably my neighbor telling me she's leaving for the night, can you get it and get the key from her? I am only gonna be a few more minutes," he called out from the shower. "Okay," I said dragging myself off of the bed.

A knock came again as I reached for the doorknob. Opening it with a smile "Hey Sean I know I was rude the other-" "J- Joel? What are you doing here?" My smile dropped... "What are you doing here?" Anger falling on his face mixed with sadness... "Why are you at Sean's place?" "I needed somewhere to stay, I needed space," I said moving closer to the door.

"Hey honey, what's goin' on out there? Did she leave you the key- shit," he whispered fixing the towel around his waist. "Why is she here with you?" "She needed a place to stay till she gets a plane back to Dallas," he pulled me back to him a bit seeing Joel come closer.

"You're leaving? And you didn't care to tell me?" "Tell him, dear." "No, just go back to the room Sean, I will be there in a minute," I said pushing him back. "Okay, just let me know if you need anything," "I will, now please go," I plea before he gave Joel a quick glance walking backward...

"You needed space? So you came to him?" "I had no one else to call." "You could have talked to me," "I can't talk to you about this!" "About what? Is it the Sarah thing?" "No, it's not." "Then what is it?" "Joel, just go home... I will be by to pick up the rest of my things in a few days," I hold back tears...

"Why are you doing this?" "I don't want to be a bother here." "And who said you were a bother?" "No one, I just- I don't want to talk about this anymore..." "So that's it? You don't want to talk so you just leave?" "I want to talk, but I can't," I let out a small cry.

"Why? Talk to me, right now, I can handle whatever it is!" "Go home, Joel! I don't want to see you anymore!" I choke out. "Is everything okay out here?" Sean asked coming closer to the door. "Why didn't you tell me she was here? I asked you at the bar if you had seen her, I came here to apologize and then I see this? You with her?"

"We are not sleeping together, I am her friend so I was here for her." "She has other friends." "No, she doesn't-" "Sean! Stop, both of you just stop... Go home, Joel, I will be by soon to get my things and to leave my keys, so you don't have to wait on me," I said walking away from the door.

"Go home Joel, she needs space, and I think this is something she needs to work out by herself," I heard Sean say before the door closed...

"Okay, I don't care what you want, we are going to talk about this because you bottling up your feelings? It's a no for me." He said walking into his room. "Sean, I love you but we are not talking. I need to book a plane, go get my things, and try to avoid everything in my life," I curled myself into a small ball. "Hey, none of that, come here," he gestured towards him.

"Let me drive you, it's only a few hours with traffic," his soft tone pulls me into him. "I am not letting you drive me to school." "Okay then let your dad-" "No, he won't drive me, you won't drive me, I don't want anyone driving me! I will take a short plane ride," I spat. "Hey, I was just suggesting," "I know, I'm sorry," I said sitting up from his embrace.

"School doesn't start for a few more weeks, why don't you stay here for a couple of days?" "Thank you, Sean, but-" "If you tell me you don't want to be a bother I will spank you," he said with a smirk, holding my hand. "Ooh, kinky," I laughed hopping off of the bed. "Sometimes I wish we could go back," he said with a sad smile...

"Why? Why do you want that?" "Because you weren't taken, you were happier than ever! And I had you to myself and I could touch you whenever I wanted to," he said walking towards me. "And who said I was taken?" I give him a small smirk. "Don't do that to him." "Don't do what to him?" "Don't betray him like that, he is a good man," "I am not betraying him," I scoff turning from him.

"We had sex, good sex... That doesn't mean I was asking for a relationship," "I wasn't saying that-" "Well it sure sounded like it-" "Hey, don't twist my words, I am trying to look out for you," he followed me down the hall, "you're trying to look out for me? Sean I don't need anyone to look out for me," I stopped in my tracks turning to him.

"Yeah because it has been going so well for you lately," "Wow, thanks... Um yeah okay, I am just gonna go for a bit," I said pushing past him. "What are you doing?" "Getting my shoes, I am going out so don't wait up for me-"

"Sweetheart, I didn't mean it like that come on," "Sean I don't care how you meant it, I just need to go out, you're fine." "We were together for quite some time so I know when you say 'you're fine,' it means you secretly want me dead," "Sean, look I just need time to myself."

"Fine, then I'll leave, I know you need a drink. I have beer, whisky, and whatever you want... I just don't want you drinking out there today," he stopped me again. "You know what? How about we just put on some music and go to sleep?" I sigh in defeat, not that I even put up a strong fight...

"I am fine with that, I'll take the couch-" "Sean you make it seem like we can't sleep in the same bed." "It's just that-" "I have slept with you as a friend, a girlfriend, and an ex... I think we can do this," I huff dragging him to his room... Let's get this night over with.

Joel

He just closed the door in my face... I came here to see him, to apologize to him. This is the thanks I get? Her with him? The rage fills me as I storm to my truck. Speeding home was easy. I slam open the front door.

"Dad, what is wrong with you?" "What is he doing here?" "Who? Mitchy?" "Yes, that boy," "I was here to see my girlfriend, sir." "Don't 'sir' me, I know you two broke up!" "Well I don't know if she told you but we are getting back together," he said with a stupid smirk that I just want to slap right off of his face.

"No, you won't! You won't go anywhere near her! Now get the fuck out of my house!" I yell, seeing red... "What the hell is wrong with you?" Sarah yelled as that boy stormed out the front door. "Why is he here?" "Because I invited him, he is a friend of mine whether you like it or not!" "You need to tell me what happened between you and y/n! Right now!"

"What about her?" "Why is she pissed at you?" "What?" "Why. Is. She. Pissed. At. You!" I yell with gritted teeth "I don't know! You know her, she's crazy like that!" "I have known her since she was 16, I know her all right! This isn't her!" "Well, she has been like this for the past year or so, I guess you don't know her as well as I do!" "You don't know shit about her!"

"Dad, don't you think It's weird that you were her friend when she was a kid?" "No, because you were the same way, now I demand an answer from you right now! What is it that you both aren't telling me!" "She is fucking crazy dad, don't listen to anything she says!" She yelled, walking to the staircase.

"Sarah! Don't you dare walk away from me," I lowered my voice to calm myself... "No, fuck her dad! She is the bad friend here! Not me!" She yelled, storming up the stairs. "Fucking shit!" I yelled, throwing a bottle that was sitting on the counter. "fuck," I said to myself, sliding down the wall. What the hell am I going to do? What the fuck is going on here?

Reader

There was a knock on the door... I slowly open my eyes seeing the moonlight dance around Sean's room. The clock on his dresser said it was 3 in the morning. Who is knocking at 3 in the morning? "You okay?" He asked holding me close still half asleep not aware of the faint knocking coming from the living room. "Yeah, I am just going to get some water, I'll be right back," I said crawling out from under the covers. "Okay," is all he said before turning over.

The knocking continues as I reach the door "shit, fucking answer," he said before knocking again. I know that voice... "What are you doing here?" I yell in a whisper as I swung open the door. "What are you doing here? I had to hear from so many others that you were back in town." "Yeah well, I didn't think I had to tell you," "I am your father, I have a right to know!" He raised his voice.

"Keep it down, people are sleeping right now, I was sleeping. Why are you here at 3 in the morning?" "Because I needed to know why you didn't come and see me when you got in town," "because you don't need to know everything in my life," "I have the right to know!" "Don't you think I had the right to know! You just kept it to yourself all this time, and when I find out you tell me 'it's fine' and to 'get over it.' I am done with you, I have told you that many times... You are no longer my father."

"How dare you talk to me like that!" "Shut up!" Is all I get out before his hand connected with my cheek. "Fucking leave! You are not welcomed here, you never were!" I yell, holding my face, letting tears of anger fall.

"What is all the yelling about?" Sean rushed to the door. "Hector? What are you doing here?" "I am here to talk to my daughter so you can just go-" "Well, this is my place, so no I won't 'just go' but thanks for the suggestion," he pulled me closer to him. "What happened?" He held me searching my tear-stained face. "He slapped me," I said through gritted teeth.

"You did what? Hector? Why would you do that?" "Because she is being disrespectful!" "Keep it down, I have neighbors. Come in and we can talk about it-" "No, he won't be coming in!" "What's wrong Dear?" "I don't want to talk about it," "Y/n, you have to tell me," "he is the one that allowed it, everything... He knew, and he decided that I wouldn't care so he kept it from me for months!" "What?" "That's why I didn't want him to know I was in town, that's why- I- Just get rid of him please," I said walking back into the house.

He gripped my arm. "Let go of me!" "No, you will listen to me, Joel said that you were here-" "Joel? Joel told you that I was here?" "Yes, since he is a better friend than you Sean," "I am a damn good friend, you Hector, on the other hand... I can't say the same for you," he said snatching my arm from his tight grip.

"Hector, you need to leave," "Sean, come on, that is my daughter-" "She is an adult, and she can make her own decisions... She doesn't want to be with you, now leave before I call the cops," he said pulling us further into the house. "You can't do this!" "I can actually, and I will. Just go home, and forget I ever existed... Like you always did," "I never did that!" He huffed clenching his fists.

"Yes, you did! I practically grew up by myself alongside Joel because you were never home! And you can't say you ever sent money unless it was for your benefit. The money you gave Joel for watching me and the house he gave to me because you never sent me money for school, clothes, food, or the bills!" "I paid for all of that while I was away!"

"No, you didn't Joel helped me get a job because I had to pay most of the bills," I threw my arms up in frustration. "How dare you say that! I was there for every important moment of your life!" "No, you weren't! You were never there for me! I grew up without you!" I spat walking away from this conversation...

Sean came walking into the room with his head hung low making me sit up "he's gone, you can lay back down," he sighed sitting on the edge of the bed. "Thank you, I didn't mean for it to turn into a yelling match." "Well, I mean it's Hector and you are well, you. So I mean it was bound to happen," he gave a laugh. "Thanks," I threw a pillow at him. "Come on, let's get you a bath," he held his hand out. "Okay," I said letting him lead the way.

I undress as he adjusts the water for me. "Thank you again," I said getting into the tub. "Yeah, I mean you deserve some 'me time' so I thought it would be nice to have a nice soak," he cleared his throat. "I'm going to get you some clothes and a towel." "Okay," is all I said before relaxing in the warm water.

Sean is seated on the floor next to the tub. "So, he knew everything huh?" "Yeah..." "So you lied to me?" "Yup," I said sinking into the bubbles. "Hey, stop with the self-pity, I get it, I do. But you gotta do something about it." "Why? I can just go back to school and forget that anything ever happened," I said with a sad laugh. "No, you are going to overthink everything you 'did' and have a mental breakdown." "That is very true." "So how do you feel about Joel telling him?"

"Well, he didn't know we weren't on speaking terms." "Yeah, but he does know you were never close to your dad, so kind of a dick move," "I mean, kinda yeah." "Please let me drive you," "to campus?" "Yeah, I don't want you to be alone going back," he said with his pretty puppy eyes.

"Okay, but today we are going to spend the day in bed, then tomorrow I'm gonna go get my things while Joel's at work," I leaned my head on the side of the tub enjoying the water. "Cold, I like it," he laughed. "Oh, shut up before I splash you!" I blow suds at him. "Okay, you get dried off. I am going to make us some food and we can watch some tv," he said, handing me a towel.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

We spent all of yesterday laying on the couch watching movies, talking, and sleeping... And I am a man of my word... I have to go get my things from Joel's house. It is 9 in the morning... "Sean?" I call out from the kitchen, "Yeah?" "Hey, I'm about to head out." "Okay, I'll drop you off-" "You really don't have to," "but I want to, plus it's on the way to the bar," he said, buttoning his shirt as he rushed into the kitchen.

"The bar?" "Yeah, Kyle was supposed to open for me but he called and bailed so I have to do it," he huffed, pouring his coffee. "That sucks." "You bet your ass it does," he groaned. "Okay, well, let's head out so you can get there in time." "Alright, let's go," he grumbled, grabbing his denim jacket.

The car ride is quiet, I don't really expect him to say anything... And I appreciate his silent concern. "Just call me when you're done so I can pick you up," "I will, thank you," I hopped out of his truck. "Well, I should get to the bar, be safe," "I am just getting my things Sean, I'm not leaving just yet," I laughed.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The house is quiet; it feels colder than I remember. Leaving my main key and spear key on the kitchen table, I see a note on the fridge 'Hey Dad, since you can't stop acting like a child I will stay at Mitchel's for the weekend.' The date on the corner of the pad shows she had written it the day after Joel showed up... What the hell is going on over here?

Walking up the stairs, I hear shuffling from the living room. "I thought I locked you?" His voice bounced off the walls. Shit... I pick up my pace, trying to climb the stairs quickly but not trying to bring attention to my presence...

Trying my best to open the door as quietly as I possibly can was a success. Now closing it is the challenge... Once I closed the door, I began packing my suitcase. Shoving clothes from the drawers into my suitcase. Collecting some of my other belongings, sorting through the things I want to take with me... Joel's shirt... I came across his shirt as I rummaged through my stuff. I should take it to his room once I no longer hear his footsteps I can sneak it into his room. Not the best idea, but hey what do I have to lose?

After 5 minutes of waiting, the house was quiet again. I open the door to peek out; the coast is clear. I turn to get my suitcases, and as I turn back there he was... Out of thin air...

"What are you doing here?" He asked, wide-eyed. "What are you doing here? You are supposed to be at work," "I needed some stuff from my garage, then I needed something from my room, now what are you doing here?" "I told you I was coming to get my things, I was going to wait till you left but I was going to take your shirt to your room..." I trailed off, seeing his brows furrow.

"So you are leaving then huh?" "Yeah, I saw that Sarah hasn't been here, what happened there?" "Whatever happened between you is your business. But she blames it all on you, and I was asking why she does and she just ignored me..." "I'm sorry, but um, for what it's worth... I'm probably at fault. I mean, I let it happen, I was just so forgiving," I bit the inside of my cheek to keep my tears at bay...

"Hey, no, don't do that to yourself," he said, moving closer. "Joel, please, don't. I um, I am only here to get my things and leave-" "Why not stay? I get something happened, but why does that have to change everything with us?" "Us? There is no us Joel-" "Wow, so all that meant nothing to you?"

"Joel, I loved it. I like being with you. I feel safe with you, you know that. You have always told me that I belong here and that it didn't matter what others think... But, I don't belong here, not with you, not in this house..." I let a tear fall. "Sweetheart, no one has ever said that, have they?" He asked, closing the space between us. "No-" "Who?"

"No one, Joel. It's fine, I um... I have to go-" "You are not going anywhere till you tell me who said those things to you," he said through gritted teeth, pinning my arms above my head, and pushing me to the wall. "Joel, you'll miss work," I said with a gasp. "They will be fine without me, you need me more." "No, I don't-" "Well, your tears tell me otherwise." "Joel," I whine, letting another tear fall. "Come on pretty girl, use your words for me,"

"Fuck, you look so pretty cryin'. Who hurt you?" He caressed my tear-stained cheek. "You, me, everyone," I cry out. "I hurt you?" His tone was sad, letting my arms fall. "What did I do?" "No- I mean, I need to think straight and I can't do that around you," I push him from me.

"Baby, talk to me... Just like we used to," "I can't," "why not?" "Because so many things have changed, I can't just open up to you." "Yes you can, what is wrong?" "Nothing, Joel-" "Lies, baby girl, tell me what is wrong," he said, taking my hand in his. "Joel, nothing else needs to be said, what she told you is everything you need to know. No one would believe me if I said otherwise…"

"I would, I will always take your side. There's not a day that I won't," "Joel, you have to say that-" "Why do I have to?" "Because you are you, you can't help the need to make people feel better." "Is that what people are putting in your head? That I'm taking pity on you?" "Joel it's-" "It's what? It's not my problem? It's not a big deal?"

"Yes, it's not that big of a deal," "why? I mean, if this happened to you years ago you would have killed him, but you got with someone who is just like his father and he fucked with your head... Now here you are tellin' lie to my face!" He inched closer.

"Joel-" "Tell me, why do you believe everybody but yourself?" "Because maybe they are right..." "About what?" "Me, not belonging." "Me taking pity on you?" "maybe-" "No, there is no 'maybe' it's a yes or no," he sneered.

"Yes, Joel. Sometimes I think you are taking pity on me," I whispered, feeling his breath on my lips. "Well, why don't we change that? Huh?" He placed a soft kiss on my cheek. "I want to show you that you are more than anything than what people say about you," he said, dragging me to his room.

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"Joel, you don't have to do this-" "Baby, all I want is you," he knelt in front of me. The sight of him on his knees for me will always amaze me. "Look at those pretty eyes, do you want me to stop?" His gaze never left my face as he left soft strokes on my calves. Yes, say yes... "No please," I say low enough for us. "Such good manners, let's get this off of you, pretty girl. I want to see all of you," he played with the hem of my shirt.

"Joel, can you do it?" "Do what, baby?" He smirked, his taunting gaze making me squirm. "Undress me please?" "How can I say no when you ask so nicely? Let's see," he cooed, standing before peeling the thin fabric from my burning skin. He smiled, placing kisses all over my face, making me giggle.

"There we go, so pretty for me," he groaned, seeing my laced bralette "Joel, please... I need you," I gasp at his feather-light touches. "Not just yet baby, I'm takin' my time with you," he said lifting my bralette. "So beautiful, and all mine," he groaned to himself before wrapping his lips around my sensitive nipple.

"Fuck Joel, just like that please," I moan, lacing my fingers in his brown locks, tugging at his hair. Moaning at my actions, he pulls his beautiful mouth from my chest. "Take off your pants for me beautiful," I have never felt so submissive to anyone before Joel, his gaze alone could bring me to my knees without him asking me to...

Pulling down my pants, leaving me in only a matching pair of panties. "So precious," he cooed, playing with the waistband of the dark red lace. "I want you to sit on my bed and play with your pretty little pussy for me, just like you did the other night in my pool. I want you to show me how you get yourself off without me here to make you feel better," his free hand gripping my jaw.

"Yes sir," I whimper at his grip. "Good girl, now show me how good of a girl you can be." Letting go of my jaw, I walk at a clumsy pace to the edge of his bed. I strip from my now ruined panties, kicking them to the side. Sitting on his soft bed, spreading my legs, giving Joel a small show.

I tease myself for his pleasure, slowly running my fingers up my inner thigh so close to where I want to be. I lick at my fingers collecting saliva. I hear his breath hitch as I place my fingers on my clit. "Fuck," hold back a whimper trapping my bottom lip between my teeth "don't you look pretty playing with that needy cunt?" He groaned at the sight stepping closer. "Thank you," I say breathlessly.

"No need to thank me, baby, you're the one doing all the work," his praise edged me on, I gasp at the small stretch of my middle finger "shit," I flinch at his quick movement to his knees. "You know, watching you cum in my pool was just beautiful but this right here... Watching you get yourself off on my bed? So sprawled out just for me? It's just beyond perfect," he groaned placing butterfly kisses along my inner thigh.

"You have me on my knees for you, the sight of you has me begging to be so deep inside of you," his voice hoarse replacing my fingers with his in a swift moment. "Oh my god, Joel," I yelp at the stretch. "Your moans are music to my ears, baby," his fingers are deliciously bigger than mine, the feeling of them has me drooling. "Look at you, you're drooling and you haven't even had my cock yet," he gave a fake pout pulling out his fingers.

I was about to protest at his actions but seeing him suck his fingers clean like his life depended on it has me clenching nothing... "So ready for my cock aren't you?" I nod unable to form words under his gaze. "Words baby girl," he tapped on my clit "fuck, yes please I want your cock Joel," I whine as he sank his tongue into my begging cunt as his beautifully curved nose rubbed my clit at a perfect pace.

"Fuck me!" I cried out desperately trying to cover my mouth. "Move your hand baby, I want to hear you cumming on my tongue," he rasped disappearing between my thighs once again. Flattening his tongue licking through my folds has me shaking from the amount of pleasure he is giving me.

"Mr. Miller, I'm gonna cum! Please, oh please make me cum," I whine grinding myself on his face, tugging on his hair earning a sexy groan pulling me over the edge. My hips bucked as I came on his tongue, "shit, Joel," I whine trying to ride out my high but he didn't slow his pace. "Joel, please, please slow down," I gasped as he just held down my hips. He enters his fingers alongside his tongue.

"Shit, I- fuck me," I yell out a cry, his eyes fluttering open to watch me take whatever he was giving me. "Joel, fuck," I cry as a second orgasm rips through me. "Oh my god," I yell cumming on his fingers. "Yes, that's right I am your god, my pretty baby," he said lifting his head.

"You did so good for me," he rasped gripping my jaw. "Thank you, Mr. Miller," I whimper as he smashed his lips onto mine. "Such good manners, tell me what you want baby?" "I want you to fuck me please," I squirm under his gaze. "Well, baby since you have been so good for me, I can't say no to you," he cooed. "Thank you," I blush at his words.

"Okay, knees baby girl," he said stepping away from me. I sink to the floor only to see that he is fully clothed. I hold out my hand for him to help me back up. "What's wrong darlin'?" "Nothing, we just need to get this off first," I said playing with the hem of his work shirt. "Yes ma'am," "thank you for cooperating Mr. Miller," I said eye fucking him. This man is beyond fine, he is a work of art... He isn't too muscly. He doesn't have super-defined abs which is perfect to grab onto. His soft skin feels so right against mine...

"Baby, are you just going to keep staring at me?" "I wish I could, you are perfect Joel." "Glad you think so baby, but I prefer my old body," he laughed. "No," "no?" "No, yes your body was so hot but this body right here... Is just so sexy," I groan at the thought of every part of him. "Damn every time I was down about my body I should have just came to you," he scoffed.

"Yes, you should have. I would have worshiped your body like no other," I hummed leaving small kisses along his jaw. "Fuck," he moaned as I made my down to his chest. "You know I have never had someone to love my chest as much as you do," he gasped as I gave a teasing lick to his nipple... "Is that right?" I laid butterfly kisses along his pecs.

"Yes, you show love to every part of my body love." "Just wait and see how much I love your thighs," I grip his sides. "This I love, I can hold on to this, or these when I ride you," I gestured to his tummy and pecs. "You're killin' me here baby girl," he groaned as I pulled him into my embrace. "That's the plan baby," I gave a quick kiss before sinking to my knees. "I can watch you like this all day," he stroked my hair.

"Belt please?" "Yes ma'am" he smiled discarding his belt. I took my time undoing his jeans. "You look so pretty, my baby." "Thank you, but complementing me won't make me work faster," I hummed. Pulling down his jeans along with his boxer briefs, his cock sprung out with a hiss from Joel. "Shit, you're big," I say without thinking...

"Thank you, baby," the smirk on his face grew. He stepped out of the puddle of his clothes and kicked them to the side. "Now it's your turn to sit on the bed, Mr. Miller." "Everything good comes from sitting with you," he laughed turning me with him. "Just rest on your elbows for me, please?" I asked stroking his strong thighs.

"Oh, anything for you baby," he placed a soft kiss on my lips before leaning back. He let out a small sigh when I placed my hand on his stomach. Dragging my nails down to his thighs, his beautiful thighs... "Baby you look like you're about to eat me," he sank his teeth into his bottom lip. "Oh I am, you have no idea how long I wanted to kiss these babies... I already rid them, now it's time for me to show your thighs what they need," I hum hovering my lips over the soft skin of his thighs.

"And what is it that they need?" He questioned with a raised brow. "This," I left kisses along his inner thigh, never taking my eyes off him. I leave a train of forming hickeys up each thigh making my way to his cock. "Baby, you are the only person to ever leave marks on my thighs," he gasped as I sank my teeth into his thigh. "If you don't like it, I can stop-" "No, I mean I don't mind it," he rasped shutting his eyes. "Joel?" "Hmm?" "Tell me, what were you thinking about when I was watching you the other night?" I asked leaving a trail of kisses to his cock.

"What I was thinking of?" "Yeah, I want to know," I say in a low tone taking his hard cock in my hand. "Okay- shit- okay I was thinking of your first night here when Sarah dragged you out to go clubbin' and you wore that pretty little red dress, and you were pissed as hell because you didn't get to have fun..." He hissed bucking his hips into my hand.

"And you slept with some guy and you didn't get to cum before he did. You were just sitting there in the little dress with your legs in my lap as I massaged your calves... all I remember was that I wanted to pin you down and fuck you right there. To make you cum on my cock. And I heard you after you went to your room... I heard you moaning, I heard you cumming. And all I wanted was to be there with you, wanting to be the one you were moaning for." he groaned as my hand gently squeezed his cock.

"I was thinking of you, all I wanted was you... I was pissed because she took me with her, and I didn't get to spend time with you like we used to. I was horny and wanted you..." I wrapped my lips around his cock earning a low moan. "Of fuck," his eyes fluttered shut. "Baby, all you had to do was ask." "Yeah but what's the fun in that?" I giggle.

"If you want me to fuck you, you have to stop takin' me so deep in your throat," he groaned as I pulled off holding a tight grip on the base of his cock. "That was close pretty one," "I know, but who said I couldn't make you cum twice?" I laughed. "Oh I know you can, but I don't need my soul to leave my body."

"Okay, now the real fun," I said crawling onto him. "You know, I haven't had someone let me use them like that." "Ever?" "Well, there was one, but he was more submissive than you, but no one who went along with it..." "Assholes, that's what they are, every person should let you treat them right," "I agree, but right now is about making you feel good," my voice huskier than ever as I sank down onto him.

"Oh, my god," he exhaled as I sank further down. "Yes, I am your god, I am your fucked up god," I said with a gasp as he bottomed out. The way he is stretching me is so fucking perfect. "Just give me a minute Joel, fuck this angle has you deeper than last time," I moan hanging my head, gripping at his shoulders.

"It's okay, take your time to adjust, I'm not goin' anywhere baby," "fuck me, you're too big!" "You can take it, baby, I know you can. Just like my good girl," he slowly slid the tiniest bit out only to slam back in. "Joel! Fuck," I cry out in pleasure. "What was I doing when you were thinking of me that night?" He asked fucking up into me.

"I was thinking about what one of Sarah's friends said about you needing to pound into something so you can let loose a bit with us- shit- I was thinking of you storming into my room and fucking me silly. Letting you have your way with me- Fuck me do that again!" I moaned as he pressed deep into me over and over.

"Joel, please- fucking shit make me cum please," I cry out snaking my hand around his throat. "Please, please- oh god, please!" I beg as he pounded from underneath me. "I was supposed to do all the work," I finally get out in one breath. "Next time I promise baby, but I am just so deep I can't help it. You are just so tight darlin'" he grunted as I clenched around him.

"I can feel how close you are baby, you feel so good around me," "Joel, can I cum? Please?" I beg as tears prick my eyes as the pleasure takes over my mind. "Oh my pretty baby, look at you. Cum, cum for me," he coaxed. "Joel, oh my-" My third orgasm took over. My legs shook as I pick up our pace. My mind goes blank. My back Arching. My eye's shutting... My hand choking Joel... "Fuck baby just like that, you can take it, fuck yourself onto me. Use me to get yourself off," he grunted.

"Joel cum in me, I want you to cum in me," "shit," he threw his head back, arching his back... His orgasm was so powerful, I could feel the way his legs were shaking under me. "Fucking shit," he gasped for air painting my insides with his hot load, opening my eyes I see my hand around his neck... "Oh, shit sorry Joel," I gasped slowly sliding off of him. "Don't apologize for that baby, I just came the hardest I have ever cum because of that," he said trying his best to catch his breath.

"come here," he said pulling me up his body. What are you doing?" I giggled "I'm not done with you just yet Darlin'," he smirked hovering me above his face. "Sit," he demanded pulling on my thighs. "But-" "No 'but's' sit. Now." "Yes sir," I obey as he attached his mouth to my leaking cunt. "Joel, you don't have to do this. I can clean myself- shit," I moan as he sucked our mixed juices. "One more please baby," "Joel, I- I can't," "I know you can sugar," fuck it, can another orgasm really hurt? Yes, it can...

"Joel please, it's too much," I cry. "Well, she tells me otherwise, she's clenching around my finger like her life depends on it," he chuckled. "Fuck!" I yell grinding down on his face, squeezing my thighs around his head when my fourth orgasm crashed through me like no other. "Joel!" I cry out when he doesn't stop. "Joel please-" "Just cleaning up baby, that's all," he hummed to himself. "Good, because I don't think I could take another one," I gave a breathless laugh.

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We lay in bed for a few minutes trying to calm our breath. I climb out the bed to find my phone. "Where are you going?" "I have to get my phone," I said picking up my clothes. "Why some other guy you have to go to?" "Yeah, I have to call Sean," I said making him laugh. "What's so funny Joel?" I say with a blank face. "Wait seriously?" He barked rolling out of bed to find his boxers.

"Yeah, why?" I asked slipping on my panties and shirt. "You're going back to Sean's?" "Yeah, I'm taking my things over there- where is this coming from?" "I just thought- I mean you're still leaving after this?" He pointed to the bed we were just fucking in. "You just thought what?" "I don't know, that you would stay?" "Joel, regardless of what happens here, I'll still have to leave you at some point."

"Yeah, but do you have to go back to Sean's?" "What is it with you and him? Hmm?" "He's not good enough for you," "and what makes you the judge of that? Who said I was sleeping with him?" "No one,-" "Exactly, no one... So just stay out of it," I said as my phone rang. "Hey, yeah I'm ready. Okay- okay bye." I ended the call slipping into my pants.

"Wow, just like that huh?" He yelled yanking on his jeans. "What?" "I mean what was this?" "What do you mean Joel?" "This? The sex?" "Hey, you started that, not me," I sighed walking out his room. "Hey, you don't get to walk away from me!" "What are you going to do huh?" "I- I don't know yet," he huffed standing in the hallway. "Okay so if you don't mind Sean is waiting for me outside," I pushed passed him as I pulled my suitcases alongside me down the stairs.

I swing open the front door to see Sean standing at his truck. "Here let me help you with that-" "Thanks but I got it Joel," I pull away from him walking out the door. "Here honey, I got this. You get in and put your seat belt on," he said taking my suitcases... "Thank you, Sean," I said eyeing Joel...

We pull away from the house, and he is still standing there. Just watching us drive away...

"Look, I know you don't want to. But you are gonna have to talk to me," "I know Sean, but not right now... Not today..." "Okay, well I'm here," "I know," "Okay, how about dinner and a movie and a fort in the living room?" "How about a bath then all of them?" "Sounds perfect." "Yes it does," I let out a sigh leaning my head back...

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I turn over to an empty spot, groaning as the morning light peeked through the window. Shit, what time is it? "Sean!" I yell, tossing the pillows. "Okay, I am only in the kitchen. Why are you yelling?" "Have you seen my phone?" "No, sweetness... Where did you last see it?" Shit... That is just perfect. "At Joel's, when I last used it..."

"Why don’t you stay here and I’ll go get it for you-" "Nah, it’s okay I can just buy a new one-" I trail off with a gasp. "What?" "I- um, I left something at Joel’s other than my phone..." "What? A bag or somethin’?" "No, more like an um- um my bra," I sighed... "You slept with him again?" "Yeah… But I was in a rush-" "Wow, I mean just wow!" He laughed.

"What are you laughing at Sean?" "You, I mean you go over there to get your things then you end up fucking him and now you are back to being cold towards him, that is just beautiful!" "Okay, it’s not funny, Sean," I yell as I swat at his shoulder. "To me, it is-" "Oh fuck off!" "Come on, I’ll take you to pick it up." "No, I’ll get it tomorrow… I have seen enough Joel," I huff sitting on the bed.

"You literally saw him yesterday-" "My point exactly, so we can just wait for tomorrow," "Whatever you want honey," "Thank you..." "Hey, I'm going to be at the bar pretty much all day and night so I want you to stop by for a bit," he said pulling on his shirt.

"I will-" "You're not just saying that?" He asked, placing his hand in mine. "No, I'll stop by and we can get some food on the way home," "That sounds good to me," he said, leaving a soft kiss on my head. "I'll see you later sweetheart," he gave me a sad look, walking from my hands. "You got it," I waved him bye before tossing myself back onto the mattress.

After a power nap, I slouch to the living room to put on some Bowie; I hear a faint knock at the door. I glance at the clock on the wall, 2:45 PM it's probably his neighbor leaving the key.. Opening the door with a small smile. "Hey Sean's not hear right now but- no shit." "Darlin'?" "JJ? What are you doing here?" "I came by to leave Sean my keys, what are you doing here?" She asked, wide-eyed.

"I'm staying here for a bit... Wait, you're his neighbor?" "Yeah, how long have you been in town?" "About four weeks," "damn, how's life been?" "It has been crazy lately." "Sorry to hear that," she shook her head. "It's fine, what have you been up to?" "Nothing much, I'm heading out right now." "That's nice," I gave a smile. "Look, you should come out with me!" "No, I wouldn't want to be a burden-" "No please, I would love your company, just like old times," she laughed.

"I mean, it couldn't hurt to go out for a bit-" "That's my girl, go get ready. I'll wait for you," she said, stepping into Sean's house. Just like old times, right? What can go wrong? A lot...

Her car is blasting music like I remember. "Who is all going to be there?" I asked, turning down the radio. "Well, random people, Kat, Rick, and Max," JJ sang with a smirk. "Oh, no JJ-" "What?" "I can't go, I should have asked beforehand," I rake my fingers through my hair. "Well, if I told you who was going, you wouldn't have come," she said, focused on the road. "JJ I can't," "Why not?"

"Because those are Sarah's friends, not mine-" "Am I Sarah's friend?" "No-" "Well then, why should it matter?" "It's just that we aren't getting along at the moment-" "Nothing new there, I mean she is an ass." "What do you mean by that?" "Well I mean she has always treated others like she was better than them so none of us really hang out with her, so trust me you are safe tonight." "Okay. fuck it... Let's go have fun," I sighed, trying my best to shake my nerves.

"Hey, look at me," she said, putting the gear in park. "You are going to have fun, you are going to talk to people, and most important of all... You are going to kiss some people!" "Okay, I am not kissing anyone," I laugh, unbuckling my seatbelt.

-

"Hey, Darlin'!" They yell as I enter the small bar... "Hey, guys," I said as I greeted them with hugs. "Omg, how have you been Darlin'?" "I have been just fine Kat." "That's good!" "How have you been?" "I have been fantastic! Rick proposed!" "Oh my god! What? When did this happen?" "Last week!" "Congratulations!" I yelled as I hugged her. "Congrats, dude," I said as I hugged Rick. "Thanks, sweetheart. I mean, I had to settle down, I couldn't let this one get away," Rick laughed as he hugged Kat.

"Hey!" "Oh, hey Max," "how have you been Darlin'? Does anyone even call you Darlin' anymore?" "Oh no, they don't, but I have been good," I laugh at the nickname. "That's good... So what do people call you nowadays?" "Um... They call me y/n, no one really calls me any nicknames..." "Not even Sean? Joel? The boyfriend?" He gave an unsure smile...

"Well, Joel and Sean are the only ones who call me nicknames but there is no boyfriend," I said, looking away from him. "What? What happened to Mitch?" "He cheated, and I got bored with him..." "Sorry to hear that Darlin'- y/n." "Thanks," I said as I took a beer from his grasp. "That was mine," "and now it's mine," I laughed, taking a swig.

"So how is Sean doing?" Kat blurted, dragging Ricky alongside her, "I thought you were with Mitch?" Ricky said with a puzzled look. "Who told you that?" "JJ, why?" "I'm not seeing anyone... I haven't been for a while now." I scoffed. "Oh, um- what happened?" "I mean Sean, and I broke up before I left for college. I got with Mitch after a few months, then he cheated on me..."

"Man Darlin' I'm sorry to hear that." "It's okay, but don't listen to everything you hear from JJ-" "What about me?" She interrupted with a smile. "Why did you tell them that I was still seeing someone?" I yelled, storming out of the bar.

"What the hell did you say to them?" JJ quietly yelled. "I told them that I'm not seeing someone," "Why would you do that?" "Because I'm not!" "Well Darlin', that's none of their business-" "Stop with that stupid name! No one calls me Darlin'!" I yell, shaking my head in disbelief...

"You know what? I am done, I came here to escape life for a while, but if I have to deal with this, I'm out," I scoffed. "Okay, Darlin', I am sorry, can you stay and party with us? I wanted you to have fun, I shouldn't have said anything to anyone," JJ said as she handed me a blunt. "Okay, yeah, I don't see why not," I said as I took the blunt from her hand. "That's my girl!" JJ yelled as I took a puff.

The music is loud. People are dancing like there is no tomorrow. "See, wasn't that easy?" "Yeah, I guess," I mumbled, stepping through the doors. "That a good girl, you want more tequila?" "Sure," I stumbled next to Max.

Max

"Hey, I don't think you should drink anymore, you have drank so much in so little time," "Let her be Max, now come Darlin'," JJ said, pulling her to a table. "JJ, you can't do this to her, she got away from us for a reason," "Look, Max, she wanted to do this, if you say anything else to her and I will deny it because you don't have proof," JJ shoved me with a finger. "Fine, fuck you JJ, you are acting just like Sarah... I am not going under for you, you are on your own," I said, grabbing my jacket.

Reader

It's dark. It's so cold. Where am I?... "You okay?" "Max?" "Yeah, well I mean if you would open your eyes you could see me," "I can't open my eyes." "Why not?" "It's too bright." "In Sean's house? Where it's literally 4 in the morning?" 4 In the morning? "Where is Sean?" "Store, he's gettin' you some things."

"Okay... How much did I drink?" "What do you remember?" "Nothin' much..." "There's your answer..." "That bad?" "I know I haven't seen you since we graduated but I thought you were smarter than this," "Max-" "No, you hang around with dicks, between her and Sarah... I mean damn," he sighed as the front door opened. "Hey, they didn't have- what the hell were you thinkin'!" Sean yelled as he tossed the bag on the couch next to me.

"Sean-" "No, look, this is why I wanted you to stay with me. So you won't get this drunk... So you won't get this high... I mean, what the hell? You know I didn't remember her? How she treated you? That makes me feel like shit," "Sean, it's fine. I just needed a night to myself-" "You say that as Max had to drag you to my bar because you showed up at his house, crying and so drunk you didn't even know who you were talking to!" He scoffed, walking away. "Take a shower and I'll make you some food," he yelled from the kitchen.

My head is pounding, and that knocking isn't helping... I glance at the clock on Sean's dresser. 4:27 PM... I groan, rolling out of bed. "Sean, who is knocking?" I asked, rubbing my temples, "I'll check, hold on," he grumbled, rolling off the couch. "Sean, get the door or I will shoot it..." "Okay jeez." "Hey, Joel, yeah she's in the kitchen just be a little quiet," "or don't because if that's your whispering voice then you have already killed me," I said sliding against the wall.

 "I'm gonna go back to bed so you guys can talk-" "You can take the bed, Sean, I'll go lay down later-" "No, you can have it, I don't mind it," he said throwing himself on the couch.

"What's goin' through that hungover brain of yours?" Joel asked, sliding down next to me. "Everything but also nothing," I sighed as I leaned my head back against the wall. "Let's get you back to bed hmm?" He asked as he helped me up "Joel, you don't even have to be here- wait why are you here?"

"Because you had a rough night," he said caressing my cheek "Joel, I am a big girl I can take care of myself," I said walking into Sean’s room. "Oh, I never said you couldn't, I know you are more than capable," he chuckled. "Come back to the house and stay with me, just until you leave," he said with his big puppy eyes.

"Joel-" "Please?" "Joel, why are you in here?" I sighed, turning to him "I'm not gonna lie but I just want to be with you for a bit and I really want to kiss you," he said in a single breath, leaning in. "Why don't you?" I whispered. "Because I don't know if you want me to," he whispered against my lips "Joel, there's not a day that I don't want you to kiss me," I gave a sad laugh.

"Then come here," he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. I slowly walk to him and stood in between his legs. "Please, kiss me," he softly begged. "You begging is a sight to see..." "Only for you," he said, pulling me down. "I'm not kissing you on this bed, Joel," I said, stepping back. "Fine, then kiss me on my bed. Come home with me."

"Joel-" "Just for a few days, and if you want to come back... I'll bring you back." "If I say yes, will you stop being a baby?" I laughed. "For you? Never, but please come home with me... Where you belong," he held my hand to his lips. "Okay, I'll go," I whispered low enough for us to hear.

"Sean?" I yelled from the bathroom. "Yes?" He rounded the corner. "Okay, I need my bags please-" "You're leavin' already? I thought you two were goin' good-" "No, I'm going back..." "Hell yes! I get to have my bed all to myself again," he cheered. "Oh shut up Sean, can you go get my bags please?" "Yes ma'am," he laughed, walking away.

"So, are you ready?" Joel asked, knocking at the bathroom door. "Hey, yeah, can you send Sean please?" "Yeah, I'll get him for you," he said, backing away from the door.

A knock startles me. "It's me, open up," Sean's voice echoed through the small bathroom. "What's wrong?" He softly asked closing the door. "I am going to stay with him..." "Okay?" "What do I do?" "You go with him?" "No smartass, like what am I supposed to do? I mean we are like best of friends... I slept with him..." "Yeah, but you're a big girl. You got this," "Sean, that's helpful."

"It's not supposed to be helpful, I'm your friend, not your boyfriend," he laughed. "What do you mean you were just like this when you were my boyfriend," I scoffed. "Just go with him, talk, laugh, and cry, just like you always do. You don't have to tell him anythin', but please open up to someone other than me... You need it," he said before leaving a swift kiss on my forehead.

Joel

He has been in the bathroom with her for quite some time now. I'm not jealous. Just protective, that's all. "Okay, I'm ready now." She spoke in a soft tone. "Okay, well, let's hit the road," I said, taking her bags.

The whole ride back to my house was full of music, she never liked to talk when she was driving with me. She just liked to listen to music and enjoy the drive. "We are here, sweetheart," I whispered as if she was a fragile flower. "You know you didn't have to agree," I said, slouching on the couch. "What do you mean?" "It's just that you look like you regret even coming back to the house, and you could have said that you didn't want to come. I would have left it alone," "Joel, I didn't mean to make it seem like that," she whispered, sitting next to me.

Reader

He sat there with his head hung low... "It's just that you don't seem to want to be here," "I do, I want to be here with you, It's just going to take some time." "Okay, I can respect that," he said with a sad smile... "Just tell me when you want to stop all of this and I'll take you back to Sean's-" "Hey, why would I want to stop all of this? I love this," I smirked at his fake pout. "You know me so well." "You bet your ass I do," I laughed, leaning on his shoulder.

"How about we make some dinner and watch a movie?" "I think that sounds perfect," I sighed, nestling into his soft touches. "What do you want to eat?" "I think some Alfredo pasta will satisfy me more than anything," my stomach growled at the thought. "Well, I must do anything to satisfy you," he laughed, holding me closer. "Yes you must, I am just that precious," I beamed.

"Okay, you get the pasta ready and I'll do the sauce," I said handing him the box of pasta. "I haven't had you cook for me in a very long time," he sighed in relief. "And I haven't had you cook with me in a very long time," I bumped his hip with mine. "Well, it's thanks to you, I can kinda cook, I mean it's nowhere near as good as yours but it'll do if I don't want to starve," he laughed.

"This smells so good Joel," "I agree, but it's only because you made it." "Oh stop it, you helped," I swatted at his shoulder. "Doing what? The pasta?" "Hey, you helped with some of the spices-" "Only because I remembered which ones you liked," he hummed to himself. "Well, isn't that sweet of you?"

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"Not as sweet as you," he whispered, his breath on my neck. "Joel," "what baby?" "What are you doing?" "Nothing, I'm just taking you in," he said leaving small kisses along my neck. "Oh, really?" "Yes, you have been out of my touch for too long," he rasped swaying my hips with his. "Joel, we'll burn the food," I gasped feeling his bulge pressed firmly against my ass. "Then turn down the heat," he said reaching over to mess with the knobs. "You're an ass, Mr. Miller," I turned to steal a kiss from him.

I hummed into the kiss, dragging my teeth lightly along his bottom lip. "You are killing me," he pulled away. "Good," I smirked "fuck baby you look so sexy," he said peeling my small shirt off of my heated body and throwing it somewhere on the floor. "Oh, look at all my work," he says as he traces over all the hickeys on my chest, down to my breast.

"I want to hear those sexy moans of yours," he said slipping his hand into my pants. "Fuck!" I practically screamed. "Is this what my pretty baby needed?" he asked teasingly. "Fuck please," I begged as he pulled down my pants along with my panties. "Now, now, you have to be patient baby girl," his voice hoarse as he slid a thick finger down my slits causing my hips to buck into his touch. "Fuck, I barely touched you and you are so wet for me." He said in almost awe "Just for you, Joel," I moaned as he knelt between my thighs.

"Joel, please," I moaned as he made perfect circles on my clit with his soft tongue. "Just like that baby, use my face to get yourself off," he growled inserting two of his thick fingers into my aching cunt. "Fucking shit," I screamed as my thighs shook around his head. My knees almost gave out as I tried to hold myself up. "Yes, baby girl... Cum on my tongue, cum for me," he coaxed "Joel, please make me cum, please," I cried out.

"Oh, there is nothin' I want more, my pretty baby," he cooed as if he wasn't finger fucking me right now. "I can feel how close you are baby, you can let go," "fuck me," I cried breathlessly as a tear of pure euphoria fell down my face. "There you go, give me what I want baby," he rasped as I clenched around his fingers bringing me closer to my release.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I chant as he curled his finger at an inhuman pace. I came but this time it was different... It was wetter... Shit, what did I do? "I'm so sorry, it won't stop," I cried as it just kept flowing out of me. With a gasp I'm squirting on Joel's face, soaking his mouth and beard...

"Shit baby girl, don't apologize... That was fucking perfect," "I've never done that before," I say trying to catch my breath. "Never?" "I don’t think I have… but this was... Fuck you're soaked," I said collecting my juices from his chin. "You did so good for me," he stood placing a soft and passionate kiss on my lips, "what are you doing?" "My turn," I say acting innocently as I suck and bite from his chest to his tummy.

I pull down his jeans and boxers. I tried to take him as deep as I could without gagging. "Shit baby girl, right there- " He moaned while pulling on my hair making me whimper fuck he looks hot. "Fuck you look so sexy no wonder why everyone wants you," I said with a possessive growl before taking him deeper than last time. "But you are the only one that can have me," he said with lustful eyes, "fuck baby girl just like that, you look so sexy like this," he growled shoving his big cock down my throat.

"Come here," he said in a single breath, "what's wrong?" "As much as I want to cum in that pretty little mouth of yours I really want to cum in you again." "Well don't let me stop you then," I giggled allowing him to pull me with him. "Okay baby girl, are you ready?" His voice is hoarse as he pulled my body against his. "For you? I'm always ready," I smirked as he slid into me with ease because of my wetness "shit!" I slightly yell before I bit down onto his shoulder causing him to smirk.

"Joel, please," I whine rubbing circles on my clit. "What do you want baby?" "I want you to fuck me harder, please!" I cried out as I instinctively clenched around him. "Fuck if you keep clenching me like that I won't last baby," he grunted as his pace got sloppier. "What if I don't want you to last? Hmm?" "Such a slut for my cock huh?" He rasped wrapping a hand around my neck "fuck just like that Joel," I moan chasing my orgasm.

"Oh, my god y/n, you're so fucking tight. I've never fucked a pussy this tight," he slowed his pace to only slam back into me. "Never? Not even the pretty little thing you brought home that one summer?" I hissed resting my head on the cool counter. "Not even her baby, she wasn't you. She wasn't what I wanted," he whispered tangling his fingers in my hair, making a makeshift ponytail with his fist. "And what was that?" "I wanted your sweet little cunt. I wanted to be the one that fucked you. You don't understand how much it pissed me off when you told me you finally fucked that kid," a moan was ripped from his chest as he slammed into me.

"I had to get myself off after that, I tried so hard not to think of you that night... I had a nice boyfriend and all I could think of was fucking you," a moan escaped as I came around his cock. "Just like that, good girl cum on my cock, just like that fuck," he groaned thrusting deep in me. He's so deep when he cums. "Shit!" He grunted as he painted my insides with his hot load... "Fuck baby, you were such a good girl for me," he said trying to catch his breath. "Thank you, Mr. Miller" I gasped as he pulled out with a hiss.

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"Okay, you go take a shower and I'll finish the food," I said with sleepy eyes picking up our clothes. "Okay, I'll be quick so you can take one too," he laughed leaving a swift kiss on my forehead. After a few minutes, I hear the water turn off from upstairs. "Baby! You can come up and take your shower," Joel called out from the stairs, "thank you," I said putting the now-cooked pasta in the sauce.

After that relaxing shower, I headed down the stairs in only Joel's shirt and a small pair of pajama bottoms. "How was your shower?" "It was good, better than Sean's shower," I laughed letting down my hair from the loose bun I held it in. "So I'll get this plated and you pick the movie?" He asked reaching for the plates. "Yeah that would be nice, having you serve me," I hummed to myself and he just laughed at my comment.

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We are cuddled on the couch with my knees bent over his legs as he massaged my calves, watching Coraline, talking like we always do when I hear the turning of the knob. "Dad, you'll never guess what I just heard!" She yelled through the house. "Sarah? What are you doing here?" "I live here duh, what is she doing here?" "She's staying here duh," he said giving her the same flat tone. "Well now this is awkward," she said with a fake pout.

"What is Sarah? That you're acting like you weren't yelling at me the other day or the fact that you are acting like a child and decided to stay at your friends for more than the weekend?" "Neither of those things, well I didn't want to tell you like this but apparently y/n and Sean are back together,, I didn't even know they were together in the first place," she scoffed with a smirk looking my way. Who the fuck told her that? "What do you mean Sarah? I'm not with Sean," I shot up, fixing my posture.

"Well people say otherwise," she barked rolling her eyes. "Who told you that?" "I'm no snitch, but I mean weren't you living with him?" "Yeah, but that doesn't we were sleeping together, you know that," "I don't know, you have been acting so differently lately! I don't even know who you are anymore!" She yelled moving closer to us. "Girls calm down, let's just talk about this, y/n? Is this true? Were you sleeping with him?" Joel asked with sad eyes.

"No, I would never, I mean yeah I love him but we have no future together, you know that..." "See, she still loves him, Dad," "Sarah shut up! Why do you even care?" "Because you're cheating on Mitchy!" "I'm not even with him! Not after that!" "You don't even know what you're talking about!" She yelled in my face. "Okay, one of you tell me what the fuck is going on! Right now!" He yelled pushing us apart. "Don't you dare say shit," she barked with gritted teeth...

"Okay, someone needs to say something! I am tired of this bullshit," Joel yelled as Sarah just gave me a 'say anything and I will end you' look. "There is nothing to say, Joel, I mean it really is nothing-" "See, I told you she was being dramatic!" "You told him what?" "Well, I mean, you are overreacting over nothing!" She huffed, flipping her hair.

"You know what? I treated you like a friend, I didn't have to. Your dad wanted you to make friends, so I did him a favor..." "Yeah right-" "He was my friend way before you even stepped into my life," I barked. "So you were my friend till you fucked everything up," she gave a shove to my shoulder.

"Fine, if you see it that way, then you have no problem with me telling your dad what I did?" "Don't you fucking dare!" She yelled, running at me, instinctively I punched her in the face, making her fall on her ass. "You fucking bitch!" She cursed, holding her nose.

"Joel, do you remember how I told you that Mitchel cheated on me with one of our friends?" "Yeah?" "Well, he did, with Zoe... And Sarah. It had been going on since the second month we were together and when we came to visit and we stayed with my dad, I caught them... And my dad told me to get over it because he had known for months and decided that what they were doing was okay..." I let out a sob.

He just stood there. His face was blank, not a word has left his mouth... "And this is why I said that it didn't matter, you don't have to believe me," I spoke with a sad tone. "Why would he believe you? You are such a liar?" "Sarah, I want you out of this fucking house right now," he barked, raking his fingers through his hair.

"What-" "You heard me, how could you do that to your best friend? She was there for you when you needed her and yet you do this? I mean, what the fuck happened to you?" He question as she stood to her feet, letting the blood drip onto the floor. "Nothing happened to me, what happened to you? I thought you were going to have my side no matter what?" "I do, I did, till you betray someone like this... I didn't raise you to be like that, Sarah-"

"That's right, you didn't raise me, you were always with her!" "I was with her because I was way too nice and let you go out wherever just so you wouldn't throw a tantrum! You wanted to leave so I let you, you seemed happy so I let myself think I was doing a great job... Now look at you, all like your mother." He spat, walking away from us.

"This is all your fault!" She yelled, running at me again. I see red, nothing but red... My ears are ringing as I pounce on her, punching her face. I can't hold back the tears and screams that fall from me. Joel finally gets a grip on me as he pulls me off of her.

"Baby, stop. I know it hurts, but you can't do this!" He yelled as I tried to get free of his arms. "Baby? You're sleeping with her?" Her voice roared as she stood, stomping towards me. "Stop it, both of you! I have had enough of this," he pushed Sarah back as he put me behind him. "You're fucking her? You're fucking my friend-" "She was never your friend! I knew her first, she was in my life first and it is none of your goddamn business who I'm fucking!" He yelled, startling me.

"How could you do this to me? I thought you cared about me y/n!" "I did, at one point I just realized that you were only using me! I stopped talking to everyone here because you and your boyfriend kept putting shit in my head and I just let it happen," I scoffed, pushing Joel from in front of me. "Yeah right, tell yourself whatever you want-" "Fuck you, Sarah, I'm done with this shit. You can just shove it up you ass man," I said walking to the kitchen. "Bitch don't you dare walk away from me!" She yelled after me. "Sarah, that's enough! Leave her alone," Joel called out following us.

"Sarah, please just give it a rest, I wasn't allowed to get mad when I found out that he slept with you so you have no right to get mad about me sleeping with your dad," I sighed turning to her just to get punched in the shoulder... I just stand there with a blank face in disbelief. "You punch like a bitch," I laughed before my fist met her face once again.

"This is what you want Dad? This bitch who hits me?" "Don't call her that, and you started this. Stop acting like a child," he barked pulling her back from me. "Joel, do you want me to leave Because I can go-" "Yes-" "No, you're not going anywhere, the one who is leaving is you, Sarah, I'm not gonna say it again," "Dad-" "No, you have brought shame to this family, I can't believe you did this to someone who gave you all their attention," he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just go Sarah," "dad-" "Sarah, please just leave. I don't want you here right now!" "Fine, you can have this bitch," "Sarah," he gave a warning glare. "You two deserve each other, this is so fucked up!" She yelled storming out the front door.

"That was so unnecessary," I laughed, "you're laughin' right now?" He asked with a raised brow. "Sorry, I just thought that wasn't going to come out," I sound crazed. "What?" "I wasn't going to tell you, I was going to keep it to myself probably till the day I died," I laughed as tears fell. "That's what Sean wanted you to tell me?" "Yeah," "You told him and not me?" His tone was angry, "Joel, it was a great idea at the time." "You could have called me..." "No I couldn't have," "Yes-"

"No, they were in the dorms at all times, they invaded my personal space then my mind... I couldn't even think for myself at times, I had to make sure it was okay with them... I couldn't call you because Mitchel found it weird and would tell Sarah that I was talking to you so she would ask about every little detail we talked about and made me tell her," "how could she make you?" He scoffed.

"She would make Mitchel hit me, or... Or she would do it herself, I had to hide so many bruises when we would come over, I had to hide so much from you when we came over," I sighed sliding down to the floor. "Why? Why would you do that?" "Because I thought I was going to lose you," I choked on my words as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "Why would you think that?" "Because she's your daughter, family comes first-" "No, you come first... She never treated you right, I love my daughter but that's not the little girl I raised so technically she's not my daughter-" "Joel, don't say that..."

"No I mean it-" "No you don't, this is why I didn't want to say anything... Either you would hate me, or you would hate her," I let a tear fall. "Oh my sweet baby, I could never hate you," he rushed to his knees to sit between mine.

Silence with Joel always seems to ease anything that happens. "How about we go to bed?" His soft tone broke me free from thought. "I'm not sleepy yet-" "Your body says otherwise," he pointed to my tired eyes. "Joel, it's fine. I'm good-" "Nope, you're in our house, you're not gonna be tired unless I make you tired," he said with a smirk picking me up bridal style. Our house... I giggled at the thought.

He softly laid me on his bed as if I were a delicate flower. "Joel, I could sleep in my own bed," I sat on my elbows watching him crawl into bed. "No, from now on you'll be sleeping in my- our bed," he hummed. "Joel,-" "Don't say anything right now, let's just be like this just for a little bit," he has always said 'our house' but this time it feels like it has a different meaning like he really means it this time. "I can see you thinking, what's on your mind?" His hands made soft strokes through my hair. "Nothing, just that... I love this," I gave a quick kiss before turning over, "I love this too," his words almost sounding sad...

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I see his watch on the nightstand, 3:45 AM... Of course, he's not in bed. walking down the stairs I hear a slight sniffle. "Joel?" I softly called out as I made my way through the kitchen to the living room. "Hey, what are you doing up?" He asked wiping a tear. "Are you crying?" "No, of course not," he adjusted on the couch "Joel, come on," I sat beside him.

"Tell me what's wrong," I held his hand, "it's just- what happens when you leave me?" "Leave you?" "Yeah, you'll go back to school and you're not gonna want me anymore," he more to himself than me. "Why do you say that?" "You love this, not me... You love the small world we're in, not us," he rolled his eyes. "You really think that?" "I mean how else am I supposed to see it?"

"Really Miller?" I scoffed poking his shoulder. "You got me fucked up if you think of me like that, I love what we have... Because it's us, I love us, I love you," I laughed, leaving a puzzled look on his face. "You love me?" "Yes, I have been in love with you since I was 17," "You really love me?" "Joel Miller, I know we don't say 'I love you' unless we really mean it, so do you think I mean it?"

"Yes, I mean-" "Joel, shut up," I laughed pulling him in for a soft kiss, his breath hitched as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Joel Miller, you are a sucker and I love making you a sucker," I smiled at his puppy eyes. "Now, you're gonna come back to bed because if you don't I'll force you to watch movies all morning," I giggled pulling him off the couch. "Yes ma'am," he rushed up to tickle me "Joel, if you don't stop tickling me!" I yelled running up the stairs. "You'll do what? Huh?" "I'll bite you because I know my tickles don't faze you," I cried with laughter as we reached the bed. "You know I'll like it," he laughed tossing us on the messy bed.

Joel

I finally have her, she's mine. I have this woman all to myself. It's wrong but it feels so right, I never thought I would have her all to myself. "So, how long will she be mad at us?" She asked as I cradled her face in my hands. "She will never get over it," I said in a hushed voice, "I love you," she whispered, "I love you, and I don't care who knows," I placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Joel, I love you, I love you enough to let you go-" "To let me go? Are you breaking up with me?" "No-" "I knew you would, I don't know why I keep tellin' myself that anyone could love this old fool," I huffed hopping off the bed. "Hey! Don't you dare talk about yourself like that! Ever, this isn't about me or you-Well it's about you a little bit... I just don't want you to sacrifice your relationship with your daughter for me," she yelled standing on her knees, the bed making her a bit taller than me. "I won't be, she made her decision and I made mine, I lost you once and I ain't gonna lose you again-" "You won't, I'll still come by but I- We just can't be us," "no, that's not good enough for me, and neither is it for you, you deserve to be happy, and if that's with me then I am gonna make it happen," I sighed, leaning my forehead against hers.

"Hey, look at me, I am happy... With you, I am happy with you. I will never change my mind, I will never get tired of you, and I certainly won't stop loving you," I placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I just want you to be happy, I don't want to be the reason you're not, you may feel like you can love me forever right now... But what happens when the guilt comes back? When you regret being with me and miss your daughter?" "I will always miss her, but I miss the old her... I will never regret being with you, I love- I have always loved you... No one in this world could ever change that," I gave a weak laugh as a tear rolled down her sad face.

"I will love you till I die, I don't think I could stop loving you... Even if I tried." "Joel?" "Yeah?" "What happens when I leave?" "We will make it work, I'll visit you, and you'll come visit me. We will make it work. And, we go back to our late-night calls because I miss hearing your voice at the end of a hard day," "me too," she sniffled. "When do you go back?" "I leave in a 7 days, then I'll have a week left to prepare for the new semester..." "Okay, till then we will not leave this bed no matter what," I smiled rolling us over onto our sides.

"I would love to see that but you mister, have work in the morning." "Don't remind me, I was hopin' to forget so I can stay here with you all day," "I don't think so Joel, I know you love me but you love working more," she smiled, poking my dimple. "Get some sleep hun," I sighed, placing a kiss on her temple. "yes Sir," she giggled tucking her cold hands under my shirt, "why you little-" "What?" She laughed, her beautiful laugh. "Get some sleep baby, you need it," "Thank you, I love you," she mumbled sleepishly, "I love you more, more then you can ever know... You understand-" I trailed off listening to her small light snores. I am the luckiest man in this world, to have this woman to myself... To be the one to hold her, to be the one she comes home to at the end of the day... I am so in love with her it almost hurts.

I walk into our room to see her peacefully tangled in our sheets. Her light snores, those plumped lips slightly parted, she is so beautiful. "Baby," I lightly shook her arm, "yeah?" She mumbled. "I'm heading to work, I love you and I will see you later. Don't forget to eat somethin'," I whispered, rubbing her arm. "Okay, be safe," she sniffled "you feelin' alright darlin'?" "Yeah, I just want us to sleep for a little longer," she hummed holding my hand. "I wish, but we can't," I smiled scooting next to her.

 The sound of my phone stirs her in her peaceful state. "Goddamn it Tommy, what do you want?" "I just needed to know when you're goin' get here?" "Well actually, Y/n isn't feeling well, I am going to stay here with her," the lie leaves my lips when she covers my chest with her body. "Are you sure?" "Yes Tommy, can you stop by the shop and tell Daniel for me?" "Whatever." Tommy scoffed before hangin' up.

"Looks like you got your way," I softly laughed placing my phone on my nightstand. "Good," she muttered, adjusting her head on my chest. I softly sweep the sleep-ruined hair out of her face. "Babygirl, your head feels hot, are you feeling okay?" "Yeah," she groaned as I raked my fingers through her sweaty hair. "I think you might be running a fever, let me go and get the thermometer," I said with furrowed brows, walking to the shelf. "Here, put this under your tongue," my voice soft as I climb up next to her. "I don't want to," she grunted, shaking her heavy head away. "Baby, you have to, I have to see how high your temperature is," I raked my fingers through her hair again. "You're sweating so much, you might need a bath," "I don't want to." "Well, you have to," I grabbed her chin, causing her to furrow her brows in question. "Put this under your tongue," I softly spoke as she opened her mouth. "There you go, now I will go get you a bath started," I said leaving him once again. "Jesus honey, 100.9 F," I sighed, checking the thermometer. "Mmm," she grunted, shifting her position. "Come on, you need a bath, you're sweating." "Do I have to get up?" "Yes, it will make you feel better," "I just want to lay here," she mumbled. "You need to get up baby," "I know," her voice weak as she finally opened her eyes. "Can you get up on your own?" "Yeah, I just feel a little dizzy," she shook her head, rubbing her eyes. "Come on, let's get you in the bath, I think it will help," I said helping her stand up. "Here you go, have a seat- be careful," I sighed helping her sit on the toilet. "Come on, let's get you undressed," "Like what you see?" She gave a weak smile. "Really?" "Sorry," she let out a breathy laugh as she stood up to take off her pants. "You got it?" "Yeah, I got it," she mumbled, hooking his thumbs under his waistline. "Okay, I'm gonna get your clothes ready if you need anything," I softly spoke, watching her get undressed. "Okay, I will let you know," she nodded, settling in the water. I stood there, hesitant to leave her in such a state.

"Joel?" I heard from inside the bathroom "yeah? Are you okay?" "Yeah, I am, but could you get my back? I have tried but my arms are a little weak right now," she rolled her eyes handing me the wash cloth. "Yeah, of course" I grabbed the wash cloth as I sat on the edge of the tub. "Thank you Joel," "you don't have to thank me," I smiled slowly dragging the wash cloth across her back. "I mean it, really, thank you, you didn't have to do this," she gave me a weak smile.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked when she sat on the foot of our bed in nothing but a fluffy towel. "Yeah," she nodded, "do you want me to make you something to eat?" I questioned, placing her clothes on the bed next to her. "No, I am good, but thank you," she laughed, messing with her messy, wet hair. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure," she said, with a soft smile.

I stared at her perfect and soft skin. The scent of her favorite freshly sprayed perfume... "Are you okay?" "Yeah, just taking you in hun." "Why?" She cocked her brow with a knowing smile. "Because I love you, I was worried for a minute." "You have taken care of me many times like this, we'll be just fine," "I know, but it's different now I can't explain it, but it just is," I sighed, shaking my head.

Reader

3 days left... I have 3 days left with the man of my dreams. The past 4 days were spent tangled up in sheets and long days waiting for him to come home to me. "Baby, I'm home!" His voice echoed throughout the house as he entered the living room. "I'm in the kitchen, I'm making' your favorite!" I said with a smile, hearing his heavy boots crossing the house. "You treat me so good baby girl," "and you treat me even better," I gasp when I turn and see the flowers in his hand. "What's the special occasion?" I questioned before placin' a swift kiss on his lips. "Nothin' much, the owner of the house we're buildin' wanted to thank us, and Tommy had mentioned you earlier that day and she remembered so she gave me some flowers for you," he smiled. "And they just so happen to be my favorite flowers?" "She may have had a very large garden," he gave a shy smile.

"You are somethin' else Mr. Miller, but thank you they are beautiful," I smiled, bending down to get a vase from the cupboard. "And you are even more beautiful then them flowers, why don't you take a break and let me take care of the food and put those flowers in some water?" He hummed, "no baby, you just got home, rest and put your feet up- Plus the food is almost done," "now I know you are lyin', just let me help-" "Joel Miller, you have worked a 12 hour shift, if you don't let me take care of you-" "You'll do what?" "I don't know, I'll tie you down or somethin'" I laughed. "I just want to help," "okay, how about you set the table and then you can go ahead and pick out a movie we can watch after?" I shrug, "I swear it's like you don't want me in here," he gave a faux pout, "you can come back, I just want you to pick the movie because I will take forever to pick one," I laughed "mhmm," he rolled his eyes playfully.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The soft knock at the door woke me from the light sleep I was in. I look to Joel who is fast asleep, grabbing his phone from his lap- 4:30 in the morning. 3 missed calls from Sarah- Okay... The knock draws my attention from the phone. "Can I help you- What are you doing here at this time of night?" "Technically it's in the the morning-" "Sarah, answer me," "I just wanted to come by and say sorry-" "Why now?" "Because I thought it was the right thing to do-" "I mean why at this time? You know your dad goes to work early in the morning, why didn't you come by after he got off? Or call him after work?" "Why are you sounding like you're my mom-" "Why the fuck would you even say that? I am not trying to sound like your mom, I am talkin' to you like a person so I'm sorry if you can't handle someone talkin' to you right. If you want to talk to your dad you can come back after he gets off of work," I rolled my eyes stepping back. "But you're going to tell him about what I said right?" "No Sarah, I am not," "why not?" "Because I am not your fuckin' messenger! You are a big girl you deal with it, or is it all just an act to make you look cooler for your boyfriend?" I scoffed.

"You have no right to say that-" "I honestly don't care about what you have to say, I just want to go back to sleep and for you to stop talkin' all this crazy shit because I am gettin' really tired of it-" "Both of you get in this damn house, now!" he yelled pullin' me with him. "Dad, I just wanted to say how sorry-" "I don't care how sorry you are or were, I don't care. What I do want to know is why are you here?" "Because I missed you, and I wanted to talk to you-" "Sarah for once in your life be honest with me," he sighed plopin' himself on the empty loveseat next to me.

"See this is what she does to people dad, she turns them against me-" "Do I have to keep remindin' you? I met her first. I knew her first. I know how she is, I was there for her and she was there for me- And it was not in a romantic way... We were actually friends, and it may be hard for you to hear this but... I know her better than you could ever know. She- Her- I know her, I have been there for her, you have made her second guess everything with me! I love her and I hate to say it but I will choose her over anyone at this point-"

"Joel-" "No, she needs to hear this so she can get it through her thick ass skull, you fucked up. You tried to ruin something you knew you couldn't. I love you I really do... But the way you have been actin' over these past few years- It really has me questionin' how I raised you, so you can leave now because I am done with this. I don't have the patience to forgive you right now." He sighed standing from the loveseat...

"But dad-" "No Sarah I am done, I have been done for years!" "Then why didn't you put a stop to it years ago?" "Because of her! You were her friend, after you started actin' like your mom she was my friend then you became her friend... After you stared behaving like you are now- You were just a friend of my best friend-" "Dad-" "No, you don't get to call me dad if you are going to be actin' like that because I am so damn tired of you actin' like a child so if yo don't mind get the hell out of our house if you ain't gonna act right," he huffed pushing past her.

"Y/N, tell him something!" "Like what Sarah? What a shitty friend you have been? Or the fact that you basically sabotaged everything good that happened to me?" "No, like that I am his daughter or something like that!" She yelled as he tiredly drug his feet up the stairs. "I'm sorry Sarah, I can't say anything that will change his mind, he has to come to that decision on his own... So just give him time and stop doing stupid shit, now please leave so I can go talk to him," I sighed pointing to the door, "fine whatever, you are always the-" "Stop talkin' if you want to get on anyones good side, I fuckin' mean it," I glared at her, without anymore words or even a look she walked out the door like she was told.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The last day... This is my last day with him. "Baby?" He yelled from the living room, "yes?" "Can you come and help me?" "Sure?" I laughed at the concern in his voice. "What do you need my help with?" "Nothin' hard or anythin' it's just in the kitchen," "okay, but if you are plannin' on cookin' remember I made reservations-" "Surprise!" He yelled steppin' out of the view of the table. "Joel what is this?" I gasped,

"it's a goin' away gift, you have been treating me so good as you usually do and I felt like I haven't been puttin' in my work unless you count orgasms but I just felt like you needed more from me," "oh baby, I didn't need any of this but thank you so much for this! I love it," I place a deep and passionate kiss on his lips. "Thank you, for the cake, the flowers, the candles, the lightin', and thank you for bein' you Joel... I mean it, I couldn't of asked for a better man than you," I smiled as he took my hand in his. "All right stop being all romantic and go get ready for dinner," he laughed pushin' me away, "yes sir, whatever you say," I playfully shoved him.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

"Home at last," he smiled puttin' the truck in park "thank you for tonight Joel, I had so much fun," "good, I'm glad you did," "I can't wait for the first break back," "I really do wish you didn't take the first month seriously so you can come and visit," "you see, I want to believe that you don't mean that I know you mean that with every bone in your body," I laughed opening the door to the truck.

The feelin' of walkin' into our home is a feelin' I could live off of for the rest of my life. "Thank you for tonight, I know I said that already but I just can't thank you enough," I gave a lazy smile as I linked my arms around his neck "Baby you never have to thank me, I love doin' anythin' for you- You know there is one thing you could do for me," "which is?" "You can kiss me now, I have been waitin' for you to give me one and you have been ignorin' me here," "I literally gave you one before we got off the truck," "yeah but now we are in our house, so I want one now," he looked at me with those faux puppy dog eyes. "You are such a pain in the ass you know that Miller," "I sure do, and you ain't gettin' rid of me either," I rolled my eyes before placin' a sweet kiss on his lips before pullin' away.

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"You know you are very tempting?" "I know," I smirked as he gripped my chin with a bit of force. "This black dress you are wearing shows off your beautiful curves, I mean the way your breasts just fit so perfectly in that black laced bra you are wearing is just mmm," he softly groaned at the thought. "You drive me insane, I could just bend you over this counter and fuck you senselessly," he rasped, he dropped my chin moving to my hair, making a fist in my messy waves "oh you would like that wouldn't you?" I hummed turning my gaze.

"Oh you know I would love that, having your perfect body in my hands falling apart as I pound into you," he gripped my chin forcing me to look into his eyes. "you are such a brat," "oh and what are you doing to do about it? Spank me?" I playfully scoffed. "I just might baby, bend you over my knee and paint your ass a pretty shade of red," I whimper at the thought of having his hands on me in any way he wants. "Mmm such a pretty mouth," he gripped my jaw with his large hand "thank you," I smirked. "Look at those pleading eyes, what do you want? Say it," He growled, "please fuck me Sir," my voice drippin' with lust. His gaze turned dark as he attached his lips to my body. Sucking and biting "fuck Joel you'll leave hickeys" I moaned, clawing at his broad shoulders.

"That's the point, you. Are. Mine." He groaned through every bite "fuck you taste so good baby" all I could do was moan. So lost in pleasure I failed to realize that his thick fingers have been playin' with my clit "fuck I'm gonna cum fuck-" I was cut off by my own moan "then cum for me, my beautiful girl." With is words of encouragement my back arches against his chest. "Fuck.. yes just like that" I scream as my orgasm took over, as I catch my breath Joel licks his fingers clean "mmm you taste good baby girl" he pulls his fingers out of is mouth and brings them towards mine. "Suck" he commands as a smirk danced on his face, I obey, wrappin' my lips around his thick fingers "good girl" he praised.

"Fuck baby you look so sexy in this dress" he groaned, tracing my curves teasingly over the thin fabric. "oh look at of all my work" he teases while tracing over the recovering hickeys on my chest, toying with the neck of my dress slightly pullin' down, then down to my breast. "No bra? Naughty girl," he tsked. "Strip, leave your panties on for me like a good girl," "yes Sir," I whisper, lost in his piercing gaze. The strings to my dress beggin' to come undone faster then I can move. Untying the cute bow I secured them in, slowly draggin' the dress down, against my body.

"So pretty, all for me?" "Yes Sir, I'm all yours," my voice above a whisper. "Why so quiet now? Hm? You were usin' that pretty mouth so well not that long ago, what happened?" "I-" the words caught in my throat, the look of pure lust written on his face is hypnotizin'. "Come on baby girl use your words for Daddy, be a real good girl for me princess," his voice hoarse.

"Please," "please what baby doll? Want me to touch you? Make you feel good?" "Yes Sir," "what's the magic word?" "Please?" "Such a good girl, always uses her manners. Always so good, I can't wait to ruin you," his smirk never fading as he inched closer to my almost naked body.

His hand made it's way up to my breast, "so pretty, so fuckin' pretty," he groaned pinchin' and rollin' a nipple between his fingers. The whimper that broke free from my throat when the pain of his finger tips crashin' down on my nipple, leavin' a string of pain and pleasure behind in it's wake was pure pornographic. Quick to cover my mouth to stop the moan from fallin' out.

"No baby let me hear how good I make you feel, I want to hear those sexy moans of yours" he whispered against my lips, slipping his hand into my panties. "Please, please, please Sir," I chant like a prayer, "so wet for me already?" He teasingly asked, smiled knowingly. "Only for you, Daddy- shit" I moan as he circled my clit in a perfect motion making me see stars.

"I'm going to cum" I moan quietly "cum for me" he commands, "cum for me, now," his husky voice sending shivers down my spine. "Be my pretty slut, cum on my fingers," "I don't wanna cum yet-" "Don't care, cum," his pace brutal as he sank two thick finger into me. "Good girl, taking my fingers so good," his words corrupt my brain as I release on his fingers. Strugglin' to catch my breath, he wraps his lips around his fingers. "I didn't think dinner could beat how good you taste, open wide for me," he smiles, slidin' his fingers into my mouth.

With a smirk I push him till the backs of his knees hit couch, pushin' him down, straddlin' his thick thighs. "what are you doin' princess?" He questioned raising a brow "nothin' Daddy," I say innocently rocking my hips "fuck baby girl just like that you look so sexy like this," "Joel, you make me feel so good, you haven't even fucked me yet and I'm already a mess for you," I moaned grinding myself on his bulge. "You sound so sexy moaning my name" his breath hitched as I lick a long strip on his neck, sucking softly when I found his sweet spot.

"Fuck baby" he moaned, trappin' hid bottom lip between his teeth, I suck my way down to his exposed collarbones, "off please," "anything you want baby girl," his face lit up with pleasure. "Fuck you are so sexy no wonder why everyone wants you" I groan, holding his gaze. "But you are the only one that can have me" he said with lustful eyes.

I run my hand along his body as I sink between his thick thighs, "look at how hard you are for me, I haven't even takin' you out yet and yet you are still so big," my voice dippin' with lust as I unzip his jeans. "Look at you Joel, god I fuckin' love you," I whisper, tuggin' his boxers along with his rough jeans down. "You okay baby?" He questioned when I stoped to take him in. "Yeah, it's just that you are mine, I have you all to myself," my tone hushed as I run my fingers on the inner sides of his thighs, tracing the nearly healed bruises I marked him with days ago.

"I have always belonged to you, there was never a doubt," he whispered leavin' small strokes on my hair. Watching the way his cock twitched under my gaze, "baby, you just gonna look at me all night?" "I just might Mr. Miller," I smirked, takin' his cock in my hands. I love how responsive he is to my touch. The moan that leaves his chest with a deep rumble sends pure warmth of pride to my chest.

"I love you," I whispered before takin' into my mouth. "I love you, god I love you. Fuck you you treat me so good baby," he groaned lollin' his head. "Joel, look at me," "what?" "Look at me, I want you to watch me while I fuck you with my mouth," I grinned, watching his eyes roll to the back of his head.

"You are so fuckin' good baby girl, god I love your mouth," his hips creatin' their our pace, "just like that, just like that princess- Fuck takin' me so well," his moans bounce off the wall as he fisted my hair, takin' over. His thrust harsh as he chases the warmth of my mouth, "you know, I'm gonna be thinkin' of this night for weeks right? Fistin' my cock till I cum just thinkin' of your pretty fuckin' mouth on me like this. Thinkin' of that tight cunt wrapped around me, takin' me so well- Fuck just like that, look at me- Keep your eyes on me," he rasped, the pace he set is brutal- Fuck I love it.

He pulled me off of his cock with a pop and a thick string of saliva connecting us. "Climb up, my pretty baby," he smiled, pullin' my up by my hair. He placed a soft and passionate kiss on my lips as he pulled my panties to the side.

"Please," I whimpered through the kiss, "please what? You want me to fuck you?" "Yes, please Sir," I cried for him, "such a good girl," he moaned, pulling on my hair forcing out a pleasureful whimper, fuck he's so sexy. Archin' my back, forcin' my breasts into his face "I have missed these," he hummed burring his face in my breasts slowly sliding his cock into me.

"You are so perfect, made just for me. Takin' me so well baby, you are doing so good," he whispered into my shoulder as I just take him and moan. "Shit baby girl, right there," he shuttered into the nape of my neck "god this feels so perfect, you are mine." He whispered into my ear.

"I'm all yours, you can be the only one who can destroy me," I gasp when he shifted into a deeper position. "No one else can fuck you, or even touch you... All mine." "Oh fuck, Joel just like that please, I'm so close," I begged as he started thrusting up into me.

My orgasm over took me as he set a brutal pace, chasin' his own high. I clenched tightly around him as the pleasure began to feel painfully good. "Fuck Joel," I cry, my eyes makin' their way to the back of my head. "Cum in me, I want you so deep in me Joel," I moaned, my legs shaking from the pleasure I'm endurin', "all mine," he groaned.

"Shit baby girl you will make me cum-fuck!" He moaned with a shaky voice and with one last thrust he shot his hot and thick cum into me."Yes just like that baby, doin' so good for me- Fuck yes- Oh my god Darlin'," he moaned with a shaky breath.

"Please Joel, show me how good I make you feel," I rasp pullin' him impossibly closer. "You are so perfect, my princess, my everything- Shit I'm so close baby," his voice hoarse as his movements faltered.

With one last powerful thrust he shot thick ropes of his hot cum deep in me. I felt his thighs shaking beneath me, "you okay Joel?" I questioned as his moans went silent. "I'm doin' just fine Darlin', how about we take a nice long bath hm?" "I would love that very much, carry me?" "'Course baby, I want to keep some of me inside of you as long as I can, I don't need you drippin' me everywhere now do I?" "You were doin' so good Joel, then you have to say shit like that," I playfully shove his shoulder. After our long bath we both decided that is was best to stay in bed all night

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He's watching a silly movie that was on tv, a movie that I stoped paying attention to a long time ago, he laughed as he raked his long fingers through his hair. I can't even take my eyes off of him, "what?" He asked with his smile that melts my heart.

"How did I get so lucky to be here, with you?" "No, it's the other way around," he playfully scoffed leanin' in for a kiss, "you look so perfect in this lighting" he smiled, playin' with my hair. "See that is where you are wrong," I smiled, grabbing my old Polaroid I rolled onto his lap. "I love you in this lightin'," I giggled, takin' a picture.

"See you look even better in this lightin',' I planted a swift kiss on his lips climbin' off his lap, "come lay down with me," I whispered pulling him close to my chest. "This feels nice," he sighed wrappin' his arms around my waist as he lays between my legs "this does," I matched his low tone, playin' with his hair. Sleep over took us and we stayed in our own little world for a bit longer that night.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

1 Month Later

"So where are you going for the extended weekend?" "To my boyfriends, what about you?" I asked while packin' my book bag. "To my mom's- You are going to see your man and you are taking your books?" "What? We have an exam next week," I laughed, "yeah on Thursday, okay so is he coming to pick you up or?" "No, I was hopin' to surprise him at home because he should be gettin' back from lunch by now," I say checkin' my watch.

A soft knock echoed through our quiet dorm, "can you get that? I know Nancy was bringing' everyone 'see you soon' cookies," "yeah, I got it," she said hoppin' off her bed. "Tell her I want 2!" I softly yell as she opened the door, "okay but it's not Nancy- It's for you," "what do you mean?" I questioned as she pushed open the door. "Joel! You made it!" I yelled hoppin' in his arms, "'course I made it, I told you I would be here and here I am," he laughed spinnin' me around.

"How? You're supposed to be at work right now," "I got off early- Well technically I requested it weeks ago but still," "but I wanted to surprise you!" I gave a fax pout and a playful push. "And I wanted to do the same... So I win," "oh shut up Miller," I laughed, placin' a kiss on his lips.

"Careful she has books and she just might hit you with them," she chuckled "the sad thing is that she already has-" "Oh shut up, Eva this is Joel, Joel this is Eva my roommate," "it's nice to meet the man she has been talking about," "yeah iand it's nice to meet the girl she will not shut up about- I mean it's like she loves you more than me," he laughed.

"Well I think she loves those books more than us- We might be out numbered," they laughed. "Both of you shut up, I want to go home y'all are mean," I giggled, "okay let's get you home, hm?" "Bye Eva, see you Sunday," "yeah you two have fun- Not to much fun," she eyed me "yeah, yeah, bye," I shushed trappin' her in a tight hug.

Hoppin' in his truck as he put my bags in the back, "stop," "what?" "Stop stearin'," "I'm not," "I can feel you lookin' at me Darlin'," "I am allowed to look," "then so am I," he chuckled and he shut his door. "So how's Sarah?" "She's good, she uh- She got into a good rehab place," "it got that bad?" "Yeah, nut she's workin' on herself so there's that," "that's good Joel," "yeah, now let's get you home," "yes Sir," I smiled, placin' my hand in his.

And they lived happily every after

The End

(I know this isn't the best but it'll be fine ig lol)

[specialagentlokitty]

Saul Silva x daughter!reader - burning bridges

Hi, could I request a Saul silva x daughter reader? Can she have shadow manipulation powers? - Anon💜

Standing in front of the mirror in the lounge, you turned to the side so you were able to pull your armour a little tighter so it would fit better.

There was a knock on your door and you glanced over.

“It’s open.”

You watched who walked through before you went back to putting your amour on.

“I never agreed to you coming on this mission.”

“Yeah, well it ain’t your call.”

Your dad sighed heavily, walking over to put your shoulder pads on for you despite the glare you had given him.

“Maybe not, but I’m still your father (Y/N). They should have asked me.”

“When will you give this up dad? Whether you agree to it or not I will still go on these missions. They have nobody else.”

“They can find other people!” He hissed.

You spun around, glaring harshly at him.

“Where?! Where the fuck do you expect them to find other fairies like me dad?! Huh?! I am the only one who can manipulate the shadows! The only one who can take out hordes of the burned ones!”

“You’re still a kid!”

You scoffed, grabbing your other shoulder pad to put it on, and you turned back to the mirror.

“Yeah, guess you forget that sometimes too huh?”

You secured it and walked over to your room, heading to the desk and you looked at the report that you were sent.

You picked it up, walking back out to the fire place and tossed it inside so your dad wouldn’t be able to track you.

You walked over and stood next to the light switch.

“(Y/N) you are not going on that mission.”

“You have no say in my affairs.”

You turned it off and he shouted your name, running over he turned it on but you were gone.

Sighing, Saul ran a hand down his face, looking at the fireplace.

There was no way he could get that paper now, it was long gone.

His relationship with you had been tense since you learned about what kind of powers that you had, a lot of people wanted you thrown out of the realm, calling your cursed.

You needed help trying to control them and he was so busy with Sky at the time he neglected to give you the help you needed.

You got hurt.

You blamed him for it, you always had.

Truth be told he blamed himself as well, and he was trying fix that, trying to make it better, but you wanted nothing to do with him now.

The Queen saw you as a force to be reckoned with, she wanted you to join her army where if you played your cards right you would fly through the ranks.

He didn’t want that.

He didn’t want you to be a solider is some army that wouldn’t give a shit about whether you died on one of their missions.

Saul marched back to his office, hoping he could find somebody to tell him exactly where you were sent.

Your mission was easy, you were to track down and take out a burned one that was getting a little to close to one of the cities.

It wasn’t exactly hard to track, leaving destruction in its wake was a good method of tracking.

When you found it that’s where things become a little more complicated.

Reaching into the shadows, you felt the coldness wrap around your hand before you pulled out two swords.

Grinning from ear to ear, you twisted them between your fingers.

You had the advantage of shadow manipulation, being able to move and jump through them, making avoiding the attacks aimed for you a lot easier.

Finally bribing it down after nearly an hour of fighting, you held your hand out, wrapping shadows around it, making the body vanish.

You didn’t want locals to worry about this, so you hid the body in your own shadow realm, planning on dumping it at a later date.

You took a few extra days, ensuring the surrounding area was clear before you returned to Alfea.

Heading back to your room, you hung your armour back on the stand by your desk.

You laid down on your bed, staring up at the ceiling.

You knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep, for somebody burdened with powers like yours, sleep was hard.

It was easier when you were a child, you had your dad looking out for you. Singing you that same song your mother used to sing when you couldn’t sleep.

Now you didn’t have that, so, you made your way outside to the specialist training ground in order to train instead.

You never realised that you weren’t the only one out there training, you didn’t know your dad was out there was well.

But he noticed you when you came out and he put his sword away.

You began to bend the shadows to your will, forcing them to take shape, surround you, do whatever it was that you wanted them to do.

In all the years of know what your powers were, this was the first time Saul was seeing them.

You had never showed him, never trained with him when he asked you too.

He had been so worried about your safety he never realised how strong you were, how capable.

You were so at peace, so relaxed, it was like you were at home, like nothing else in the world mattered.

Saul quietly made his way over.

“You’re good.”

You didn’t stop, but you did glance at him.

“Watching me now?”

Saul sighed, running a hand over his head.

“I’m sorry.”

You stopped what you were doing this time, looking at him.

“I mean it, I am so sorry (Y/N). I know I should have done right by you, I swore I was. I didn’t, and for that I’m sorry.”

“You think that makes everything better? Makes all the tears of choosing that bastards son over your own daughter just because I was cursed with these powers?”

He reached a hand out but you stepped away, the shadow of a sword forming in your hand as you aimed it at him.

Saul backed away, his hands raised in the air.

“No. No of course not.”

“You think after all these time I’ll just come running into your arms and we’ll play happy families? He is not my brother. He never was. Shit dad, you look after Bloom better than you do me and that girl doesn’t even belong with us!”

“She needs to learn control.”

“And I didn’t?! I shadow travelled myself to the damn roof when I was a kid by accident and nearly fell! I did the same thing into the park and sliced my leg open! You didn’t give a shit then!”

Saul ran his hand down his face, looking away before turning back to you.

“I did!”

“Did you fuck!”

You walked closer, placing the blade of your sword at his throat and he stayed still.

“I am only at Alfea to complete my course. Then I am going to join the queens army, I will leave, and you will never hear from me again.”

“I don’t want that! I never wanted that! You’re my daughter (Y/N), I just want to keep you safe. Do you really think they give a shit about what happens to you?!”

You shrugged a little, pulling your sword away.

“They give more of a shit than you ever did Saul.”

You barged past him back to your dorm.

Saul watched you leave, and you didn’t so much as spare him a single glance.

Saul didn’t know what to do, after all this time you wanted nothing to do with him.

You didn’t care if he was your dad or not, you didn’t care about family anymore.

You just wanted to hurt him, and it was working because watching his own daughter, his own flesh and blood be angry with him, so eager to leave tore him apart.

There wasn’t anything he could do about it either

[chainelunaire]

a heart of a jack of clubs

(7,4k words. angst through and through, somehow ambigious ending. slowburn. so slow, it takes them quarter of a century to fuck.)

when you’re almost 8 months pregnant, you meet scaramouche.

it’s pretty awkward, actually - you sit under a tree in a chinju forest, trying to breathe, but you do a pretty bad job at that. everything hurts so much, you hoped no one would hear your crying, but gods like to laugh at you. you close your eyes from time to time, hoping you would never open them again. you never knew that giving birth is such a challenge, you only heard of it, and you thought you’ve prepared yourself. but it was supposed to be a month more untill you meet your child. and now, well, yeah. nothing is ever right in your life.

when you open your eyes again, after getting so tired of screaming and maybe losing your consciousness for a minute, there’s three of them right in front of you: a little girl with soft white hair in a pretty green dress, touching your forehead. a man with a stark red strand in his light grey hair, his gaze is so worried and pained. the third man stays behind those two, and you can’t even comprehend how he looks like.

“i think she’s dying” girls says a little too brightly. the man with white hair looks a little bit bewildered.

“don’t say it like that!”

“does it matter?” the third man says. “open your eyes, kaedehara. she is dying.”

“still, you can hurt her with this even more” the kind man sits in front of you - his touch is blessedly chill against your feverish skin. “lady, can you hear me? can you understand what i say to you?”

you can only blink slowly in response. because of the pain you can’t really scream anymore, but tears start streaming down your face once again. you want to ask them to kill you, because you’ve suffered for god knows how many hours by now. maybe you even do ask them, considering that the girl now frowns, the kind man tries to wipe your tears away and even the third man stiffens because of your cries.

“i am no expert, but i think it’s a preterm birth.” girl says, her tone really sad now “she really might die. we need to move her in some more of a clean space, quickly.”

“we can’t really move her, you know?” girl turns her head and you guess her gaze makes the third man sigh loudly. “okay, okay, don’t look at me like that” you hear his steps and he finally bends in front of you. you can’t really see his face because of how ridiculously big his hat is, but his voice is much softer now when he speaks to you directly “hold on my shoulders, lady, we’re gonna take a quick ride.”

you do as he says, feeling another wave of terrible pain shuttering your body. almost laying on his chest, yet you hear no heartbeat. his skin velvety and cool under your fingertips, when he easily lifts you from the ground, and from now on you don’t remember anything.

***

you took your son outside to play in grass, when scaramouche returns from sumeru. unexpectedly, as always.

here’s the trick: even if you can say now, that kazuha is your friend (and thank god for him, he’s the best human who ever walked this earth), nahida is probably your friend too, even though you don’t see her a lot and she’s much, much more reserved than kazuha (who is a grown man, despite his height), scaramouche is an interesting case. you’ve never ever asked him, who he even was, what he did for life. you felt like you had no right, since you’ve been nobody yourself. he’s just kinda...there. you don’t know what to think of him. you can’t label it, so you just don’t do it.

he visits you regularly. he’s at your house more often, then even kazuha; he has more than enough duties in sea, and scaramouche doesn’t. he just does as he pleases. and it seems like he wants to be near you a lot of the times. you don’t mind, really: he’s a nice company, very useful and not overbearing. he also seems to know a lot about caring for kids, which you find unexpected, but again, you need that guidance. 

even if in the beginning you thought he was the one with a cold heart, now you’re definitely not sure. you gave birth that night and you’ve slept for over two weeks after. nahida told you, that she put you in that state, since she was afraid, you die. your body was so fragile after giving birth, she spent days and nights healing you. kazuha was busy building you new home with the help of the beidou’s crew - you don’t want to know, how nahida learnt, that you were homeless. in that time, scaramouche was the one who cared for your son: he fed him, lulled him to sleep, checked on his health. you’ve learnt that only months after, nahida told you that. but you kinda got the feeling anyway.

you could easily say, scaramouche liked spending time with the kid. he brought him presents anytime he visited. expensive toys from fontaine, liyue and snezhnaya, clothes from natlan, candies and some delicious food from sumeru. he says, he doesn’t care about mora, and it looks like he doesn’t lie, but you still feel uneasy with how much he spends on your son. but again, he helped you. he still helps you a lot. weeks, then months go by, and you’re so used to him at your side, you start to feel a bit lost when he finally leaves again. you know he’ll return, yet you still wonder, what if not.

“look who’s all grown up now” your son squeals in delight when he hears scaramouche’s voice, and you turn your head too, because your son tends to have better sight than you, he also hears a lot more than you. 

scaramouche’s on his way to your little home, and you stand up to greet him. you actually stop, because he stumbles funnily, when you come near him. it’s as if he wanted to hug you, forgetting himself for a second. you see no problem though. you would hug him, if he wanted you to. 

it’s always a happy time, when he’s at your home - playing with your son, while you make dinner, then telling you both his stories. they’re quite endearing, and he has such a nice voice, while telling them, it’s as if he was truly a balladeer. your son loves listening to him, he actually likes to sit on his lap and watching him speak. you usually stand near the kitchenette, cup of tea in your hands, watching them talk.

it brings you somewhere close to longing for something you never had. but you, weakly, love that feeling. and sometimes scaramouche looks at you strangely, like he wants to ask, what are you thinking, but even if he did ask, you don’t know what to tell him. you don’t know what you want of him yourself.

you love when scaramouche comes to your home. that you know for sure.

this time is only slightly different. your son is sleeping soundly in your arms, when you want to bring him to his bed. you hear scaramouche’s voice near your ear:

“lemme hold him. please”

you look at him with wide eyes.

he actually rarely took your son in his arms. it wasn’t like he didn’t want to, more out of his respect for you as your son’s mother. 

he holds your son with such gentleness, caressing his hair through his fingers. you smile, because of how fond you find that gesture. he studies the kid’s face for a minute, and then he looks straight in your eyes:

“you really love him, huh?”

“what? of course i do. i am his mom”

“not every mother loves her child” and you know, there’s a bad, bad story behind those words, yet you say nothing on that matter. 

“you love him too” you say instead. it’s as clear as the sky is blue to you. it’s clear for pretty anybody - read, nahida and kazuha - too.

and yet, for a second, he looks like a kid, who got cought stealing candies before dinner.

“bullshit. i’m just helping you because you’re such a baby and know nothing”

“yeah. that’s why you asked to hold my son”

“exactly”

“okay. give him back to me then”

he actually takes a step back. you think it’s funny how he looks like he will fight you if you try to snatch a baby back in your arms. so you laugh quietely.

“scaramouche” you call him.

“what” he snaps back, but quiet enough not to wake your son. you take one step towards him, then another, untill you can hug him lightly, and he’s so stiff in your arms, like a porcelain doll.

“it’s okay. you can love my son too,” you whisper, feeling how his head falls on your shoulder. “i allow that.”

you stay like that for long, long moments, and you’re actually so surprised that your heart doesn’t beat so fast. it’s just so calm to you, being near him.

“i wanted to say to you that it’s okay to stay here, you know” 

“i always stay, stupid”

“no. i mean for real. i know you don’t want that, probably. but you can always stay with us. for however long”

you hear him laugh bitterly.

“you say you know i don’t want to stay? so funny”

“why?”

“because it means you truly know nothing”

***

your first kiss with scaramouche happens when your son is five and he learns that everyone has a father, except him.

interestingly enough, it’s kazuha, who tells you that. he visited you again, while being in inazuma, as he always did for past years. your bond only grew stronger with years, but you know that it’s nothing, comparing to his bond with scaramouche. they weren’t even that good of a friends. it’s more likely that something tragic bonded them, and you’re partly glad you know nothing about it.

you’ve learned a lot about scaramouche in past years while living with him. he still left sometimes, when nahida needed him or his duties called, but he lived with you for much longer. his trips were much shorter too. you fell into some kind of ruitine, and with that came few things you needed to know about each other.

he never actually hid anything from you, it’s just that you felt uncomfortable being persistent, so you learned thing at a time. you’ve learnt he doesn’t need to eat or drink, but he likes to cook and does this often. you’ve learnt he doesn’t care if it’s hot or cold outside, he’s fine anytime. if listen closely, you can hear how his joints quietely screeching everytime he moves. his skin is slightly velvety to touch, like cold porcelain. he sleeps with his eyes open.

he’s not a human, not really. you thought that would worry you more, with everything you’ve been through, yet you just... don’t care.

“i never thought i would tell you this, but it doesn’t matter. you’ve learned this yourself!” kazuha says, and you stand outside the room, hearing everything they say, hoping, they won’t see you. “you know, how much nahida loves you, and i know you love her - don’t you dare to interrupt me right now. it doesn’t always have to be blood. don’t fool me and say you don’t love the kid.”

“i do” scaramouche says after a long pause “and i’m not his father. there’s no need for a father at all. they’re useless.”

“but he wants one. he wants you to be”

“he has a father, he was born somehow, wasn’t he? do you see him here? me too. so that’s what i’m not. i’m not his father.”

you feel so much pain you can’t breathe.

you don’t even go out to say your goodbye to kazuha. you just sit on a stone near the cliff, watching foxes running and playing around. you hate them with your whole being.

“so you heard everything”

it’s rare now to see scaramouche parading in his hat and fancy outfit. his hair grew a bit longer, he wears no hat, and his shorts and shirt are very simple. his haori is a present from you on his birthday. he wears it religiously.

and you’re pained.

“i have”

“i see. may i sit near you?”

you nod, turning your head away.

he sits silently next to you. he’s still the most pleasant person to just sit next to in complete silence, and you despise yourself for how weak you were. you gave up on being close to him, but your son? what he ever did to him?

“actually, i genuinely hate inazuma” scaramouche says suddenly - your heart clenches, because yeah, of course, why would he love it here? you live in a deep of a chinju forest, in small wooden house with your son. he has an opportunity to visit anywhere he wants. whay would he want to even be there, of all places? “i hate it so fucking much, you can’t imagine.”

“i truly can’t”

“yeah, you can’t” he says again, no mockery in his voice. “this is the place where i was born and left behind. the only thing i ever wanted is to set everything up in flames here. and i felt like that for years. centuries.”

your heart sinks.

“i thought you’re i don’t know? twenty five?” kazuha is around thirty, so you’ve guessed he’s also around his age, even with how young he looks. scaramouche chuckles.

“yeah. slightly older than that” he looks at you with unreadable smile “still, i’m here. any ideas, why?”

“you’re masochistic?”

“no, anything else? come on, you can do better than that” his smile disappears as fastly, as it was brought. “here i thought you would explain me why”

you don’t answer anything to that. he chuckles again - more bitterly this time.

“i meant what i said. kid has a father. a shitty one, i assume. i don’t want to be anything like that. you need to believe me” he takes your hand in his and squeezes it slightly, making you look at him. and he’s so serious and worried right now, you feel your heart might explode. “i wish only the best on you two. i wouldn’t do anything to harm you. and you don’t have to tell me anything. i know a thing or two about how shitty those kitsune bastards can be. in the end, it’s your life, and i’m no one to you, you owe me nothing”

“are you serious right now?!” you almost yell, yanking your hand away. “you’ve lived here for five years! five! you’ve teached my son how to read, you’ve played with him, you brought him gifts, you brought me gifts, and you sleep in my room on a bed that stands next to mine, and you are no one to me?! you fucking selfish little-” you stop only when you hear him laughing. it makes you even more mad, but it disappears the moment you see how glassy his eyes are. and he keeps laughing and laughing and laughing, untill he stops completely.

“i do sound like my mother” he whispers, more to himself than to you. and then he looks at you again, his eyes are so clear and sad for how badly he hurt you. “i shouldn’t have said that”

the worst part is that you don’t feel hurt for yourself. you feel bad for your kid.

you never planned on having kids. your plan was to become a priestess in a great shrine, which is really ironic, considering of course it was a kitsune who made you change your mind. who made you drop everything you planned behind, to run away with him from your hometown, only for him to drop you the second he got what he wanted from you. and maybe he didn’t even want anything at all. probably that, because that’s just how cruel yokais can be. it was all just a fun game, and you kinda lost. you would strongly disagree it was fun at all.

that’s the reason your pregnancy was so difficult. the baby was just too strong for your human body. he keeps getting stronger every day, and you were so thankful to scaramouche because he seemed to know how to handle your son. he’s so strong willed and independent even now, that you need help. because yeah, you do not know how to raise a child.

your son looks like a normal kid, except for his now little dark claws. they showed when he became four, and he cried that night, thinking he’s very ugly now. and you know why he’s thinking that. some might say he’s scary and looks like a demon, but even though your son’s eyes are blood red with a vertical pupil, they remind you strangely of kazuha, of all people. your son is half yokai, yeah, and people might be scared of him, but his gaze holds no malice. he’s the sweetest boy, who loves you deeply, who loves scaramouche, nahida and kazuha. you hope, he’ll be like kazuha, because his kindness and gentleness is seen in him even now, and you don’t want to hate your kid just because for who his father is.

the dinner is very silent - even your son keeps it low, because he somehow sensed that something is wrong between you two. he thanks you for food, kisses you on a cheek while saying goodnight and then turns to his room.

“don’t you wanna say goodnight to me too?” scaramouche asks suddenly. your son turns to him, surprised. ever so gentle, scaramouche rarely openly show affection towards kid, even when your son wanted him to.

“can i?” he asks hesitantly. scaramouche smiles lightly and extends his hand.

“come here, give your dad a hug”

you drop the plate you were holding, and your son literally runs towards scaramouche. you know if it was you he would probably hit you (not intentionally, but he’s that strong at his age), but scaramouche catches him easily, and it reminds you of a day when he brought you here just as easily. you chew your bottom lip, while watching, how happily your son hugs said man, and that man, while smiling, looks you right into the eyes, as if asking for your forgiveness.

you turn away.

scaramouche usually reads after the dinner, yet you’re not surprised to find him in your room. he looks up at you - it’s late in the evening, your son is very much asleep, so it’s quiet and cozy here.

“that was super weird.”

“which part?”

“i’m not his father. i’m not anyone’s father” he frowns “and it felt really weird saying things like that”

“oh, really”

“don’t fucking laugh at me, woman” you think it’s adorable, how his harsh words don’t match the soft tone of his voice. “i’m not-”

“scaramouche”

“what?”

“can i kiss you?”

you’re afraid you broke him for a minute - he looks at you with such a strange expression on his face, you can’t comprehend it. he looks so young and vulnerable and alive, you can’t imagive, how he’s not a human. and how much you want him by your side.

“yes” he says quietely, voice not above just a whisper “yes, you can”

***

your son is eleven, when his... father decides to show up.

and you think, why would it end differently? of course there’s always a way to ruin it for you. last few years was the best you ever had in your life, so something needs to change to show you, how are you not actually in charge.

your life became just a little bit too perfect. it consisted of you, scaramouche and your son having a breakfast together, then you stay to study with your son, while scaramouche works in a garden, because you can’t do hard work, so your health won’t worsen. later you usually go for a walk to a shrine or at the seacost. you’ve visited countless festivals and watched fireworks together. in evenings you still listen to scaramouche’s stories, and then you say goodnight to your son, so you can to bed together. years later, you still only sleep together. he likes to kiss you, yeah, but nothing more. you’re fine. you’re not sure your body won’t betray you anyway.

so of course it has to be ruined.

and this prick - you really can’t even bring yourself to call him a father of your beautiful, kind, sweet son - shows up looking exactly like you’ve seen him last time. you know time flies, and you’re fine with you aging, yet it feels like a slap in a face. you’ve never felt this way with scaramouche, even though he too, obviously, doesn’t change a bit.

give me my son, that prick says. you did everything i’ve wanted from you. now it’s time for me to teach my son how he needs to be.

your blood boils with such rage, you think you’ve never been able to feel this much. you remember how one morning he just never returned, and later you found out you were pregnant. how much you cried, feeling horror almost in your bones, and how high priestess said that if you decide to keep the child, best case scenario it’ll take a good half of your life. the decision wasn’t up to you anyway. it was late, and you made peace with the fact that you will probably die soon.

did you really think i’ll just leave my son be with you, he asks, not really wanting you answer. 

fuck you. scaramouche is his father, you think stubbornly. and, also, fuck you again.

he says, he’ll return back when your kid will turn twelve, and he’ll ask if he stays with you or go with him. he will know that man who raised him never was his father, and he’ll hate you for it. 

and maybe if you were stupid young self, you would listen to him. you would dread the date and think a hundred times over how to tell your son that... how to tell him anything. you would cry because your son might turn into his father, hurting more and more people, without the possibility for this cycle to break.

now you’re smarter. 

you see there’s a lot of foxes near your house. your son sits at a table, focused on a book scaramoche presented him just a week ago. it’s a book from nahida, so it’s very special. scaramouche is nowhere to be seen - he’s probably in city, buying stuff you need. your heart aches for how heartbroken he will be.

foxes get closer to your son. be it your young self, you would cry out of horror.

but now you’re smarter. 

so you take your son’s hand and just run.

***

you hide with your son for five years, when you meet nahida.

your son is first to pinpoint her in the crowd. people moving and dancing around you, there’s smell of hot spice and something sweet in the air, the sun is so hot and red. you change regions frequently, you need to, but natlan so far is the least favourite of yours. you hate how loud it is, how hot it is. there’s no serenity in those lands, only war and feasts.

“nahida? nahida!” your son’s voice helps you to snap out of it. you feel something between panic and excitement.

there she is: still so small and young, an adult in a kid’s body. you’r afraid people might hurt her. but she moves right towards you, her gaze stoic and unwavering.

“nahida!” your son kneels so he can hug her and she does immediately hug him back, her little hands look even smaller on his back. your son is not very tall, rather lean and not so broad. he reminds you of a fox - the only one you won’t hate.

“i’m so glad to see you. it’s been so long” you blame yourself for longing in his voice. you took everything from him too.

“how have you been?” she asks him, holding his face with her hands. he smiles widely.

“we’re fine. wanna talk to mom? i thought you like me better” she finally giggles and pats him on a head.

“we’ll have plenty of a time to talk. but yes, i need to talk to your mother”

you can’t let go of your habits that easily - all those years you spend watching your son every moment, so no one would steal him from you. nahida sees that, she was always capable of seeing through people.

“i wonder what it takes to be able to hide from everyone, even from the goddess of wisdom” she starts. 

you sigh.

“you wouldn’t want to know”

“i always wanna know” she argues “i can’t believe i was finally able to find you. we’ve all tried to find you”

“please, don’t torture me like that. please.”

she gets quiet for a moment.

“you look sick” it’s because you are sick. there was no peace in your life, not a second since you were on a run. you don’t age like normal humans, not after given a birth to yokai, yet sometimes you wish you just get grey hair and that’s it. your body hurts all the time, so much, sometimes you can’t sit straight. “i told you years ago, if you don’t watch yourself you will-”

“don’t care”

“but i do. your son does.” you know who else does too, probably. “can you at least tell me, what happened? i can’t help you if-”

“no one can help me.”

“i think we might argue about that” she gets closer to you and takes your hand into hers. you immediately feel strange relief, as if something very heavy was taken off your shoulders. “tell me. we will find a way. i, as an archon of wisdom, will find a way for you”

there’s sunset, and music gets louder, people start dancing again. your son looks at you, his lips trembling. you so, so want to go back to your home in a dark forest. 

“please, mom” he whispers, almost inaudible. “let’s return”

the ghost of his father still haunts you at nights, but with years passing your horror started to fade away. there’s no way somebody was able to make your son someone different. he loved you deeply, yet you knew he judged you for not saying anyone a word. 

he looked so much like scaramouche sometimes, it brought you to a physical pain. he frowned like him, his smile was just as mischievous and fond as his, he liked to read, liked to watch fireworks and work in garden. he was so softspoken even when he was hurt or angry.

there’s no way he could be like anyone but his father.

you blink once, twice, feeling tears sting your eyes. 

and start speaking.

***

you’re with kazuha in mondstadt year later, when scaramouche steps in your rented room.

“there you are” is all he says. you almost jump off the chair, turning to him immediately.

“i’ll leave you two” kazuha stands up and winks at you. “good luck”

traitor.

what you expected to see? scaramouche looks exactly like six years ago, still young and lean, though he looks much, much darker now. his clothes are from the way back, when he dressed in black and turqiuose, but now it has more purple to it. the bells on his veil dangle dangerously.

"let’s summarize what we have here” he says as if nothing happened, as if you haven’t seen him for so long. “instead of talking to me and just saying you need some help, you decided to run away and hide for years, am i right?”

“it wasn’t like that”

“oh? tell me how it was then”

you have no words. you knew he would be mad, that’s why you begged nahida not to tell him anything. nahida said okay. and there was kazuha, who didn’t say anything, when you tried to ask for his promise to stay silent.

he probably did it for your son. he wanted to see him so much, it became hard to keep him low.

“i hear nothing” the venom in his voice almost burns you.

“i couldn’t say anything. he would take my son away”

“he wouldn’t”

you smile sadly. you still feel heavy in your stomach, your back hurts.

“he would” you repeat, and for the first time scaramouche looks less mad. “when i returned home, after i found out i was pregnant, he followed me. i didn’t know that. and when i told my family i needed help, well...”

he looks at you expectantly. you feel so cold in your limbs.

“what did he do?” he asks you, way calmly this time.

“my yonger sister, she... she went out one day and never came back. my parents searched everywhere, nothing. and week later another girl. and another”

he stays silent, yet you see how he clenches his fists so much, you hear that sweet, sweet sound of creaking joints. you can’t smile anymore. 

“i know it was him.” you say simply. “there’s no evidence. i don’t know what he did to them. i hope they hadn’t suffered and died quickly, because he enjoys... he loves to play.”

“i killed him” he says matter-of-factly. you feel cold sweat on your back with how calm and lifeless he looks. “he broke the rules anyway. so i did what i had to do”.

“what rules are you talking about? how did you even found him?”

“i asked my mother” that surprises you. “see, i could, of course, just kill him in silence. but the forest belongs to yokai. there are rules. kitsune can’t really mess with humans that much anymore. apparently, that made everyone’s life difficult, and it was not easy to lure him in... long story short, he’s dead. he won’t bother you anymore.”

“you asked your mother?”

now he looked nervous.

“i had to. i needed help to track him down. this is her land. she knows where he could hide, since she’s yokai herself” you remember all the times he spoke to you about his family, his mothers or his sister. he rarely did this, granted, yet it pains you even more to hear him going through it alone.

“are you okay?”

“you kidding?” he looks at you, bewildered “that’s what you choose to ask me?!”

“i don’t know what else to ask” you asnwer truthfully. 

you see the gnosis on his chest starts to shine - he closes it with his hand, as if his heart hurt. you know he has no heart. you’ve never heard his heartbeat.

suddenly the door slams open.

there’s kazuha with your son, standing in front door. kazuha took him under his wing, helping you hide him, because there’s no such place as the ocean, and though kitsune usually hate water, your son loved it. you’ve seen him only yestersay, thinking he’s already on a ship, which is now under kazuha’s command.

but it seems like everything goes not how you expected today.

you see so much emotions on scaramouche’s face. from surprise and joy to sadness and anger. he’s angry at you, because you’ve stolen him of those years he could spent near you and your kid, like a family that you were. you see, that it’ll take time for him to forgive you for those years he lost, net seeing your son growing up, changing and become who he is now. they’re the same height now, the eyes of your son are still bright red and kind, but not at all naive. he’ll only learn now, how simillar they look, when they get angry, or how their sense of humour is basically the same. they look nothing alike, and yet it was your son and his behaviour who reminded you always of what you’ve left behind. and you’re so sorry too.

you’re so, so sorry you hurt them both.

and then scaramouche smiles - widely, so fond and kind, like years ago.

“so grown up now, you don’t even want to give me a hug?” he says, only half-joking. he’s testing waters, if he could take what was his once back.

your son runs towards him in a second.

kazuha pats your back reassuringly, as if saying that it’s going to be okay now. you’re sure you’ve never seen scaramouche cry. it’s just tears down his face, as he smiles and hugs your son tighter. and you actually now know, what you want to ask.

can you return home?

***

it’s almost twenty five years after you first meet scaramouche, when you finally can say you’ve found peace.

scaramouche chuckles, when you say that to him, as if you said something really funny.

“your standarts are still really low” he says, and you nod thoughtfully.

“yeah. i’m living with you at the end of the day”

he glares at you, but says nothing. you’ve learnt a lot from him in those years, so now he keeps his mouth shut.

when you first returned to your home in a forest, you were too busy bringing it back it’s cozy view. it was still not as abandoned, as you imagined. kazuha told you, scaramouche returned here regularly, hoping to meet you here one day. 

it took him a year to become less paranoid. you could understand that, since you too couldn’t really let go of the feeling that you’re free to do what you want. finally, what you want. not what you need. nahida took your son to sumeru, to help him become more independent, and you? you were truly all for youself, the first time in your life.

“what is going on inside that brain of yours now?” scaramouche asks you impatiently. you only smile in response.

“that’s a secret”

“ugh. disgusting” he holds you closer, eyes sparkling with mischief “tell me”

you look at him and can’t not smile. he’s so beautiful in your eyes. you could never understand, how he switches so easily between being angsty teen brat and a centuries old wise son of a god. you think that that sounds right, because only a god could create someone so endearing and loving and vulnerable and brave-

“you’re doing it again”

“doing what?”

“drifting off” he says seriously. “what’s on your mind?”

what’s on your mind? your son was no longer there, so you couldn’t tell yourself scaramouche was here only for him. however much he loved him, it was stupid to stay in denial. you couldn’t afford that anymore.

“do you love me?” you ask him. he looks surprised for a second, but collects himself very quickly.

“of course not. i just enjoy spending years of my life near somebody i hate”

“you would love that. you easily could do that out of spite, don’t lie.”

“you know me so well” he retorts sarcastically, but stops himself, seeing your face “why you asking stupid questions?”

“because i want more”

he stays silent, and you hate how sometimes you truly can’t say, what he’s thinking right now.

“okay let’s forget-”

“you’ve seen me naked” he starts cautiously. that you did. “i’m not human. i am a puppet at the end of the day.”

“do i look like somebody who would spend years of their life living with a puppet and suddenly find out that yeah, i might actually care that said puppet has no dick?” he coughs, as you quirk your eyebrow. “yeah, exactly”

“but can you imagine my mother designing my dick?” he asks in the most flat tone, his face unreadable. you can’t help but cackle. the corner of his mouth twitches, as if he tries to supress a smile. “that fox bitch definitely could though.”

“maybe it’s for the best she was stopped”

“probably, yeah”

you want to say to him, he’s not a puppet, he should stop thinking of himself like that, but you know it would just anger him, if anything. he was always realistic. he was a puppet. with his own mind, his thoughts, desires, feelings. he was just...like that.

and the thing is, even with your inexperience, you know, that there are definitely more skilled men in a block. maybe you could even snatch one for a good night, but you don’t want to, genuinely. you never did. you want this puppet - you want him - and there all it is to it.

so when he finally gives in and kisses you, rolling on his back so you would be on top of him, you can only sigh. he sits up and puts your hair from your face with quiet, yet so fond smile, you can feel your heart breaking your ribs.

“you’re so beautiful” he whispers, while looking you straight in the eyes “always were and always will be”

you kiss him with desire you refuse to ignore any longer. 

he’s definitely not the most expirienced either, but what he lacks with skill he makes up to with his patience and tenderness. he has to be gentle because of how fragile your health is, so he tries to do that exactly. his smile so innocent, almost angelic, if only it wasn’t for the devilish sparks in his eyes, that lit up when you whine his name. you quickly decide, that you both love that. that, and how cool his skin feels under your touch, especially when he kisses your neck, while telling you to lift yourself a bit. you shiver in anticipation and yet still moan, when you feel the first finger inside. you don’t see his face, but you know that now he must be smiling like a stupid arrogant brat that he is.

and yet, his fingers feel so good, you clench on his shoulders with such force you fear you can break him. he only shushes you, his other hand patting your back, mouth never leaves your neck for long. he fucks you slow and steadily, keeping you in place, so you don’t move and he’s the one deciding the pace. even when you beg him to go faster, he only kisses you lovingly and continues to torture you with slow deep thrusts. you hate him for it, but not really.

you come with his name on your lips, and he keeps fucking you through it, so tenderly you feel tears in your eyes. to your surprise, you feel something wet on your neck too.

“scaramouche?” you ask worriedly, lifting his face with your hands so you can look at him properly. “are you okay?”

his eyes are glassy, and his cheeks are wet with tears, but you’ve learned a long ago that his tears are the only way showing anything of his emotions. and even though he cries, that’s not all to it.

“i’m great” he chuckles and kisses your shoulder, as you ruffle his hair “better than i have ever been”.

***

it’s winter, when you talk to scaramouche abouth death.

you have always dodged this topic elegantly. nahida told you, now decades ago, that your life won’t be long, nor that it would be joyful. scaramouche argued with her on that, but you silently agree with her. your life was on a thread the minute you felt your son in you. you can’t believe he’s so mature now, even though he still looks like a teen boy. and while scaramouche doesn’t visit his mothers ever, your son did visit his mom once. he later stayed in her shrine for about a year, learning from her, since she was, in scaramouche’s words, a knowledgeable bitch. 

but it wasn’t you and your condition, that triggered that talk.

kazuha dies so suddenly, it leaves everyone in shock. of course he was an old man now, but still you hadn’t expect it. you’re sure, if it was up to scaramouche or nahida, they would try to save him, but he just... dies in his sleep, that’s kind of it. the most peaceful, most kind death one could ever imagine. your heart roars in loss when you hear the news, your son cries in his bed when he learns his favourite unckle won’t ever return. he was your friend, the best friend of your small family, his kindness saved you the day you wanted to die - losing him feels worse than losing an arm. even nahida, who, you know, is very, very reserved, can’t help but shed a few tears.

only scaramouche stays stoic. even months after, you don’t really talk about how he lost another human that he loved dearly. 

you lay in bed together, your face in his neck, while he stares at a ceiling, swirling a strand of your hair between his fingers. 

“you're angry” you whisper. you know he is. you know his fears all too well now.

but he surprises you.

“no” he says quietely. “not really”

“huh?!”

“if it was me, say, hundred years ago, i would be so pissed with him” he says with a smile - not his usual arrogant one, something different. “that would make me so mad, i would probably find a way to bring him back alive just to kill him myself for that. but i think i get it now. huh. we really do change through our lives, don’t we?”

you don’t know what to answer to that, so you just lay there silently.

“i asked nahida to turn my head off, when you die”

this is such a shock, you stand up on your elbows to look at him. but he looks back at you - calmly and peaceful.

“what did you just say?”

“i said, i asked nahida to turn me off, when you die.” he scoffs softly and caresses your hand gently. “because you will die, y/n. like i said, i get it know. it’s not something you can’t decide not to do. yet i can decide what to do with myself. and six hundred years is more than enough”

“you can’t just decide to kill yourself” you whisper in shock, “nahida won’t do that, she won’t do that to you” he looks at you in surprise, but then smiles.

“oh, it’s not like that. she just... she’ll change the things in my head, i don’t know. she’s way better with tech, than me. so one day i’ll just stop working, i guess.” it’s impossible to you how he smiles dreamily, how content he looks “huh, i don’t know for how long i’ll walk on this land after you, but i’m looking forward to find it out.”

“what about our son?” and there it is, the only pain he lets himself have.

“nahida will take care of it. and, like i said, i won’t be gone in a blink of an eye. i’ll take care of him myself too. i guess, i’ll just finally have a life i’ve always dreamt about” he again turns to you and smiles fondly “i had a purpose and i fullfilled it. that would be a normal human life. have i ever told you? i once wanted to become a god. now i want nothing, but to become a mortal.”

you know it’s useless to argue with him, but you try to keep in mind that he really is centuries old. you would never know what it feels like to be this old. and to think of it - you don’t really want to find out. you see the example right before your eyes, how lonely it can be.

“you look so worried”

“i feel like i’ve been bamboozeled”

“oh, you definitely have been” he laughs and puts you near himself, so he can kiss your forehead. “but let’s use what we have now yeah?” you nod and he smiles wider, while rolling you on your back, so he can be on top of you. he looks so smug doing it you can’t help but scoff. 

“alright then” he kisses your nose lovingly, and you giggle again. “hold on my shoulders, lady. we’re gonna take a wild ride.”

[gt-abby]

Mar and Jake- chapter 8

Here comes the angst!

Tag list: @soakedmilkgt

Chapter seven chapter eight (you’re here) chapter nine

——- 2100~ words

“I only have work this evening, so we can chill at home until then.” Jake said. He moved his hand through his hair.

“That’s great, I hope you can help me figure out this new flight ability with me so I won’t break my other leg.” Mar joked, but Jake didn’t really find that funny himself.

“Of course, let’s go get some breakfast first, though.”

Mar nodded and hopped on the palm he offered her (with one leg), then sat down for stabilization. He then carried her over to the kitchen and placed her carefully on the counter, moving on to the fridge and taking out four eggs, and a few vegetables. Skillfully, he cracked the eggs onto a pan and chopped the vegetable as small as he could. After a few minutes, a steaming pile of scrambled eggs and tiny pieces of veggies were presented to Mar and she clapped, congratulating Jake on his masterful chef skills. They both laugh and begin to dig in. Jake was watching something on his phone, positioning it so that she could watch too. This was a bit weird for her, to be at eye level with the phone, but she said nothing, shrugging it off as she began to feel okay with her new size.

Later, after Jake cleaned up after the two of them, Mar stood up on one leg with the help of Jake’s finger, as she held it to stay upright.

“Ready?”

“Ready.” Mar closed her eyes and jumped up on one leg. But she quickly returned to the ground, as if gravity didn’t want to let go of her easily. She tried again but the result was the same. “Maybe it only works when I’m sleeping.”

“Try to focus and imagine yourself floating.”

“Since when did you become an expert?”

Jake shrugged, “I’m only guessing.”

She tried as he said- closing her eyes, she imagined herself rising from the ground and levitating up.

“You’re doing it! That’s awesome!” She heard Jake exclaim, so she opened her eyes and looked down but she was still standing on the countertop. She looked up at him, displeased, but he only laughed. “Kidding, you’re so gullible.”

“Hmmpf.” She looked away from him pouting.

“Aww come on, I’m only joking, try again, if you can do it, I’ll get you ice cream as an apology.” Mar’s eyes lit up, but then she frowned and looked back up at him.

“You better not be ‘kidding’ this time, or else I’ll burn your hand.”

“Y-you can do that? Since when do you have fire powers?” He gasped, almost letting go of her hand.

She was the one laughing this time, “Now who’s the gullible one?”

“Heh, touché…”

“Okay, here we go!..” She focused her mind on her feet, or rather, one healthy foot, imagining it leaving the ground and rising up, her body rising up with it.

“Woah…” she heard Jake mumble under his breath above her, and saw his eyes sparkle as she opened her eyes. This time, she really was floating up from the ground. She smiled brightly.

“I’m doing it! Jake, it’s really happening!”

“Y-yeah…” He was in a state of disbelief as he stared at her tiny form rising to eye level with him. He returned her a broad smile, “great job!”

Mar giggled giddily, as she floated closer and touched Jake’s nose. “Now where’s my ice cream?”

__

Jake left for work and Mar stayed behind, now that Jake could trust her not to hurt herself anymore- if she fell off any counters or tables, she could easily avoid hitting the ground. She was again surrounded by unsettling silence. She got used to being around giant people all the time, and when she’s alone in a giant space it feels unpleasantly empty. She looked around her in the communal area of the apartment. The blanket on the couch was halfway to the floor, the blinds slightly flowing in the wind that was coming out of the window that was a tad bit open. She decided to wander around in the air, looking around at the things she would otherwise never be able to see, like the top of the cabinets in the kitchen. Everything was full of dust and dead bugs, making Mar feel disgusted as the bugs were much bigger to her now in comparison to before, and it made her shiver. She then landed on the coffee table and pressed with her whole body weight on the button that started up the TV.

“Boring… no… nope…” she was scrolling through the channels, looking for something interesting to watch to pass the time.

Then, a familiar sound reached her ears- her ringtone. Who could be calling her at this time? Jake’s at work and Emily doesn’t have her number… she flew over before they could hang up, and her heart dropped. It was her father.

“H-hello?” Though she tried her best, her voice did give away a bit of a shiver.

“Mar, sweetie?” she heard her mother’s voice from the other side of the line. Oh great, now it’s her mother, too. “How are you?”

“I’m okay… why are you calling me?”

“I… wanted to apologize for my behavior the other day. I didn’t expect it to happen so soon, I-“

“what do you mean, ‘happen so soon…?’”

“I- I….” the line was silent. Then her dad’s voice piped up: “you know, what… you’re going through.”

Mar didn’t know what else to say, she was in shock. Her lower lip was quivering. “You… you knew?”

They didn’t reply.

“How long?”

Silence again. Mar’s voice grew angrier. “All this time you knew this would happen to me and you didn’t say anything? What even is this? What else do you know?” She demanded.

“Mar, honey, back when we got married, we discovered that both of us were… infertile. And we both wanted children, we wanted a child so bad, there was nothing we wouldn’t do to be able to conceive. After years of IVF and all the procedures that exist, and no success in any of them, my mother decided to prey to God for a grandchild.

“Well, instead of God answering her call, something else came to me in a dream. It was-“

“The fire deity.” Mar began to piece everything together.

“You met them?” Her father asked, surprise in his voice.

“Yes, of course I did. They also came to me in a dream the first night. They said I belong to them now. Did you… have me in exchange for me to be their… host…?”

“Pretty much, yes.” Jane’s voice was heavy with guilt. “We never imagined it was real, but unlike other dreams, I just couldn’t forget it. I made the bargain in that one dream, but I didn’t think it would do anything until I did get pregnant the day after.”

Mar clenched her fists. Her face was slowly turning red. “So you sold me to a god you didn’t even know existed just so you could have a child to bare?”

“Well, we- “

“No. Nothing about this could be explained in a way that will make you look good, mom.” Mar felt warm tears fill her eyes and fall down her cheeks. “I can’t believe it. The people I should be able to trust the most, sold me, gave my life away for their selfish reasons. I… I don’t want to hear from you ever again. I’m sorry.” Her voice quivering, Mar, against her parents’ pleas, hung up on them. She then sobbed for a while of the counter, with her face resting in her hands.

—

A few hours later, after night fell, Jake returned home, while Mar was asleep by her phone on the countertop. Jake smiled to himself when he found her, not being able to help how adorable that looked when she was leaning on her own phone as she was barely bigger than it. He nudged her awake, asked her if she waned to go to bed properly, and when she nodded the tiniest of nods, he picked her up with both hands and walked over to place her on his nightstand. He noticed tiny tear stains on her cheeks but didn’t pry given she looked so tired. He then quickly got everything ready for bed and went to sleep himself.

In the morning, during breakfast, Jake asked Mar if she’d like it if Emily came by more often. Mar nodded, not quite listening to him. She was in a world of her own.

“Did… something happen when I wasn’t here last night?“ Jake asked, even though he was questioning himself whether he should.

“Huh, what?” The question pulled her out of her thought bubble. “Oh, yeah… My parents called…” she paused, pondering how she should continue. “They basically explained why this is all happening to me, and it’s all their fault.” Mar took a bite of her food as Jake waited for her to continue.

“So they knew?”

“Yap.”

“Can I ask what they said?”

“Um… well, long story short they wanted a kid, couldn’t have one by themselves, so they found the deity I keep seeing in my dreams and got to raise me in exchange for me becoming their physical host for the rest of my life.”

“I- well- umm… wow.” He chuckled nervously, not knowing what to say.

“Yap.”

“So what did you say?”

“I told them to kick rocks and never talk to me again. Then I cried for hours until I guess I fell asleep.”

Jake was in shock. He figured her parents would be supportive and help her with her new situation, but he never guessed they would be capable of selling their own child’s soul to a god. He couldn’t imagine what emotions Mar was experiencing, and given her blank expression, he figured she already went through all stages of grief. Her entire life was basically a lie. She was sold off to someone else that God knows how they will treat her, and given what she has already experienced, it wasn’t going to be pleasant.

He sighed, “how…are you feeling?”

“I’m…. Going to be okay.” Mar looked up at him with a small smile. He returned her one as well.

“I’ll make sure of it.” He reassured her.

—

Later on, Jake came back from uni with Emily, who immediately came over to Mar and picked her up in a giant hug, smiling and spinning around, like she just found her best friend after years, or rather, picked up a house cat. Mar felt her heart drop to the floor.

“Wait- umm Em, please don’t make her throw up…” Jake stammered behind her and as she turned around to him with a puzzled look, then looked down at Mar and saw her green face.

“Oh- sorry, hehe.” She placed her tiny friend back on the counter. Mar took a few moments to recover.

“Ugh, p-please don’t ever do that again.” She mumbled, as she sat back down with her hands on the ground to feel more stable and grounded, with her head down.

Emily shrank down to Mar’s height then hugged her. “Is this better?”

Mar retuned her the biggest hug she could give, “yeah…much better…” she couldn’t help but tear up whenever Emily did this. It just felt so good when someone could give you a proper hug.

“So….” Jake piped up, rubbing the back of his head. “Mar, don’t you have something to show Emily?”

“What? Oh yeah, hehe,” she put on a big smile, “you might want to step back a bit.”

Emily stepped off the counter and returned to her normal size when Mar held her arms up in a T pose jokingly, as she rose up from the ground and floated up to sit on Emily’s head.

“Oh. My. God.” Emily hesitated to move lest Mar falls off of her head and placed her hands on her mouth in shock. Mar levitated down and stayed in front of Emily’s face, crossing her arms.

“That is so cool, since when can you do that?”

“Since yesterday, actually.”

Jake nodded. Emily had her mouth open in shock. Mar floated away a bit, feeling uncomfortable with a giant gaping mouth right in front of her.

“I don’t have to feel so small anymore!” Mar excitedly exclaimed, unknowingly making Jake a little self-conscious. He hated being so intimidating, especially to Mar. If he could help it, he would shrink down to her size whenever he’d come back home so she would feel comfortable, like Emily can. But he can’t, so he’d never admit it.

The three of them kept hanging out until the end of the day, Mar finally not feeling so alone.

[supercorpkid]

Your Name Hurts

Supergirl, Kara Danvers x Reader!, Nia Nal.

Word count: 3030.

Notes: Inspired by Hailee Steinfeld's song :)

“Wait,” Nia stops you before you go on any longer. “Who are you talking about?”

Kara. Kara. Kara. You’re always talking about Kara.

But you don’t want to say that. You don’t want to utter her name, can’t have it leaving your lips. 

“Hmm, you know-“ You try to tell her with your eyes, but Nia makes sure she doesn’t get it so you have to say it out loud.“Kara, obviously.”

Her name burns your lips, almost literally. You can feel the awful ghost feeling of tingling. Like your body is trying to get rid of all the toxins, trying to set you free from this unhealthy obsession.

“Oh, right right.” 

You wonder if Nia can see how your stomach hurts and whether she notices that your heart is squeezing on your chest. Can she fathom the bitter taste Kara’s name leaves on your mouth? 

“I’ll bring it over with me to game night.” She peeks inside the box you put together with all of Kara’s stuff.

She can’t. 

Your best friend doesn’t get what it’s like to lose Kara, because she hasn’t. She won’t. She doesn’t understand what it is like to have all of Kara’s love and to have snatched it out of your hands. Nia will never know how Kara’s name hurts whenever it has to leave your mouth.

“Y/N? You’re there?” Nia waves her hand in front of your face waking you up from your trance. Your eyes focus back on her and you agree with your head. “Should I bring something back as well, from Kara’s apartment?”

“Maybe. I don’t know whether she’s packed everything I left behind, though.” But you're hoping she hasn’t. You’re praying she hasn’t touched any of your stuff and that they still live in her apartment rent free. You hope they don’t make her want to get rid of everything, that instead she thinks they feel like home. “If she gives you something is fine, otherwise I’ll just stop by CatCo one of these days.”

“Oh, you haven’t been to CatCo in weeks!” 

So she has noticed how hard it is for you. Maybe Nia has noticed all the effects. How it hurts your stomach, cuts you like a knife, how it still feels like you're sinking even when you’re holding both sides of the life raft.

“Ah, yeah, been a while. Should I not go? Does, like, everyone hates me there or something?” You fidget with your fingers, not looking up at her, while still desperately needing to hear the answer.

“What? No! Y/N, it’s Kara. She wouldn’t.” 

But you don’t know what Kara would or wouldn’t do at this point, because she is a fucking liar. A genuine liar, who says it’s someone, but in reality is someone else completely. And then, when she finally tells you the truth about her, after so many fucking months of sleeping next to you, she still has the gall to fucking leave you. So you don’t, you absolutely do not know what Kara wouldn’t do to your name.

Your face reddens, sad and mad at the same time. The betrayal makes your mouth taste bitter and it stings, like an open cut.

“Well, I guess we’ll see.” You excuse yourself back to your room while your flatmate goes to a game night at your ex’s apartment.

You have forgiven Nia for not taking any sides, mainly because you know she has learned Kara's secret identity exactly when you did. But Nia had felt no hysteria whatsoever, forgiving that lying traitor too fast. You also know how hard it would be for her to work with Kara while hating her guts, so of course you have forgiven her about it, you just haven’t forgotten. But that feeling is staying lodged for another day.

“Hey, hey.” Nia tried to calm you down when she saw you spiraling. “She is still Kara.”

Kara had just flown out of the window, after you told her to get the hell away from you.

“Are you kidding me?” You yelled, livid. “She is not Kara. She is a sneaky little snake who has been toying with me and my feelings, for what, months?” You dropped yourself on your couch. “Fuck, she’s been lying to me for a whole year.” You said when you finally realized what day it was and how long you knew Kara then.

“It’s a secret identity for a reason, Y/N.” Said Nia trying to sound obvious, but coming out extremely condescending. Just because you didn’t have a secret identity, doesn’t mean you didn’t understand how they’re supposed to work.

“Yeah, to hide yourself from villains and criminals, not your fucking girlfriend. The supposed love of your life. The one you planned to grow old with and adopt dogs and babies and even bunnies.”

Nia dropped herself on the couch next to you, hands went to your arm, for a light squeeze.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Nia breathed out, looking away while you wiped your face clean from the tears. “If it’s any consolation, I think Lena also doesn’t know. So, you know, it’s not you —“

“Of course it’s not me! Lena is her best friend and she is still lying to her. She made you come out and tell her your secret, and only told you hers when she pitted you.”

“That’s not —“

“It was exactly what happened, do not bullshit me. And you know what, it’s not fair. It’s not fair Lena and I only got one side of her. It’s not fair we didn’t get all of Kara when we gave ourselves entirely to her. It’s not fair and it’s not ok for her to think this other side of her wasn’t going to change everything between us.”

You got up, walking in circles. Hands covering the fresh set of tears springing from your eyes.

“She saw all there was to see about us. The good, the bad, the better. She’s touched our hearts and soul and body so thoroughly.”

“You’re not talking about Lena anymore, right?”

You go on, unfazed and unbothered by her comments. “And we only got to see, what? What she deemed we were trustworthy enough to know? That’s fucking bullshit, Nia! It’s — it’s almost evil of her.”

“Ok, that’s just not —“

“Well, no more. I’ll say she doesn’t get to lie to us anymore. She doesn’t get to choose what side we get to see. I have to go.”

“Wait, wait! Where? Where are you going?”

But you were gone before she had the chance to stop you. In retrospect, maybe she should’ve.

“Lena!” You didn’t knock on her door, neither rang her doorbell, you just kept slamming your hands and yelling her name. She didn’t take long to open the door.

“Hey, hey. What’s going on?” Lena took one good look at your redden face and puff eyes to know something was completely off about you. “Are you ok?”

“She’s a fucking liar! She’s been lying to us for ages. We’ve been so fucking stupid!”

“What? Who? What are you talking about?”

“Kara! Your — Your so called best friend. My so called girlfriend.” Lena raised her eyebrows at you, and like she suddenly realized you’re still at her doorstep, her hands enveloped your wrist and she pulled you inside. When she locked the door behind her, your voice immediately kept going. “Kara is a liar.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, don’t. She’s been lying to you ever since you two met.” Lena silently asked you to go on. “Kara is Supergirl.”

“What?” Lena asked dumbfounded. She didn’t talk for a while, but you could see on her face how much she just wanted to deny that. To refuse that hypothesis. To tell you it’s not possible and you’re going insane. But she couldn’t. “What?”

“We were fooled by glasses and a ponytail. Trust me, I can’t believe it either.” 

“But —“ And the sentence is left like that. 

You felt horrible, awful, vile for screaming Kara’s secret on the top of your lungs like that, but also you’re so mad you couldn’t stop yourself even if you tried.

In retrospect, sure, Kara had every reason to feel hurt. To feel like she couldn’t trust you, given she told you her biggest secret and you literally ran off to tell Lena the next second.

You felt betrayed, then she felt betrayed, and you both hurt each other more than it was ever supposed to. 

Nia comes back from game night with none of your stuff, to find you nowhere at home. She is quick to find you at the nearest bar, so drunk you can’t speak properly.

“Nia!” The familiar bartender calls her when she steps in, pointing at you. “I'm so glad you’re here, I don’t know what to do anymore, she won’t stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Cursing Kara’s name. I thought about calling her, but —“

“No, no. It’s fine.” Nia makes way to where you are. “Hey, you’re drunk enough. Let’s go home.”

“I — I shouldn’t ‘ve don’it.” You slur, pathetically, getting the hiccups right after. “Kara’s name hurts.”

Nia, holding you tight by the arm, scared you might just fall over from your stool. “What do you mean her name hurts?”

It’s between hiccups and shots that you manage an explanation. “It hurts, Nia. Like poison on my veins.”

“Ok Y/N, you’re not making sense. Let’s get you home.” She says after sharing one look with the bartender. 

Nia holds you by the waist, slowly walking outside, but you never stop talking. You don’t even care if she can hear you or not, all of your feelings have been bubbling inside ever since Kara left and you tried to shut them down and pretend you were ok, now they just want out. 

“It’s not fair we’ll only get to be half written. No ending to the story. No happy ending.” You look up to Nia. “I just can’t stomach it.”

And that’s when you detach yourself from her, falling on your hands and knees, then ridiculously crawling to a bush so you can throw up. 

“No taxi will stop if they see you throwing up in a bush. Come on, Y/N.” 

“Kara is gone.” You clean your mouth with the back of your hand. Look up to Nia, doe-eyed and tearing up. “Do you think my name hurts her too?”

She thinks about it, deciding on the best answer. She seems to decide that the only person who can give you this answer is Kara herself, so she presses the emergency button on her watch. 

You have no sense of time, but to you it was only a second later that you see Supergirl landing in front of you. Cape flying gloriously, almost hitting you in the face. 

“Nia, what’s wrong?” Kara’s voice is strangled on her chest. So Nia points to the floor and she turns around to find you there. 

Her face remains inscrutable. No emotions, no affection, no feelings. 

“Y/N.” She kneels in front of you. Hands going to your arms for support. “Are you ok?”

You barely register her question. She said your name and didn’t even wince. No way she ain’t feeling it too. No way your name doesn’t burn her lips the same way it burns yours.

“Not ok.” It’s Nia who answers for you, because you haven’t got a word out yet. “Drunk and sorry, about Kara.”

But Kara herself doesn’t look at Nia, too preoccupied with meeting your eyes to read something, since apparently you can’t talk.

“Let’s fly her home.” 

Kara picks you up in a bridal style and your entire body fires up under her touch. She smells exactly the same. The same perfume, the same smell so fundamentally hers you wouldn’t know how to describe, the same way home always smelled like. So you breathe her in, even though your heart is squeezing on your chest telling you to stop. 

Stop smelling her! Stop getting worked up because of her touch! Stop wanting her back! You can’t have it. Won’t have her back. Stop hoping, praying, agonizing for it! 

Supergirl lands inside your apartment, right behind Nia. They’re not talking, but are saying whatever they need to say through hands and eyes. Supergirl takes you to the bathroom after nodding to Nia.

“Alright, well,” She puts the glasses back on her face and her suit disappears, and then she is just Kara. Your Kara. But not actually yours. The person you fell in love with. Not the superhero, not the alter ego, just little old quirky Kara with her thousand dollar smile and perfect baby blue eyes. “you, ah, just take a shower so you can sober up.”

She doesn’t have to say it twice for you to immediately start undressing. 

“Wait, what-“ She looks up, trying to ignore your nude figure in front of her. “What are you doing?”

“Shower.” You state, sitting inside the empty bath tube and holding your legs close to your chest.

“You could’ve waited until I had left.” 

You look up to her. Big eyes, unable to focus due to the tears still threatening to leave your eyes. She meets your gaze again, and you don’t have to say it. Don’t have to point out that she’s already seen you naked a million times before. That she’s touched you, and kissed you all over as well. 

So Kara sighs, understanding. Makes way to the tap to turn it on for you, and soon you feel the warm water rising up your body.

“Ok, I’m gonna leave you to it. Take care, Y/N.” She’s almost turning around when you speak.

“Does it hurt?”

“Does what hurt?” She turns back at you, but you can’t meet Kara’s gaze anymore. Not while you say it.

“My name.” You sigh, feeling impossibly sober already. Like you just took 5 shots of coffee. This conversation feels exactly like that, like an impossible amount of energy coursing through your veins when it has your heart beating so loud it’s ringing on your ears. “Does my name hurt you when you say it? Does it make your lips burn? Does it feel like a knife through your heart? Does it make your heart sink so low on your chest you wonder if it’s still there at all?”

You look up to her shocked expression, tears falling silently from her eyes, and surely she can tell your face is wet not only from the bath anymore.

“Does it kill you when you have to say it? Does it get stuck on your throat like a lump? Are you scared of saying it because it will probably bring tears to your eyes?” 

She doesn’t answer. Eyes darting anxiously between your face, the fresh cuts on your knees, and your anxious hands on the water. Kara’s mouth is agape, ready to say something, but her brain is possibly still trying to comprehend the whole question.

“You’re drunk.” Kara smooths her hands on her cardigan, adjusts her glasses, and there’s nothing that screams Kara more than that action alone. So the tears keep streaming down your face. “Let’s talk about this some other time.”

But you barely register what she means, because the only thing you register is that she is leaving. Again. Always. 

You wake up with a terrible headache and a sense of regret. Of course you remember last night, and the fact that your ex had to literally go pick up your sorry ass from the bar because you couldn’t even walk.

So the fact that someone is ringing your doorbell, today of all days, it’s the worst of things that could happen to you.

Still, you roll out of bed because Nia is not answering the door so she must not be home, and make your way to the door. 

Her name is stuck on your throat. Kara’s name has been stuck there for months. And it doesn’t leave your mouth even after you open the door to see her on the other side. Not even after the initial shock.

“It doesn’t.” Kara says as soon as you two lock eyes and your surprised face eases up a little. 

“What?”

“Your name. It doesn’t burn my lips. Your name doesn’t hurt me, Y/N.” Kara’s voice is small, strangled on her chest. “Your name does the opposite. It — It makes my heart soar.”

You swallow deep, opening the door so she can walk inside because this is not a conversation you want all your neighbors to hear.

“You said it last night.” She makes sure you remember, turning to you as you close the door. “you asked me if your name hurts me and it doesn’t. It could never.”

“But I hurt you. Betrayed your trust. Did horrible things.” You try, though you don’t really want her to be hurt by your name. 

“Yeah. And I hurt you, and betrayed your trust, and did horrible things.” Kara finally admits. “Does, umm, does my name hurt you?”

“Yeah.” The admission makes you feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted from your shoulders. “It kills me. It kills me to know I’m not using it to call you, I’m only using it to talk about how I lost you. I hate saying your name when I know you’re not — you’re not mine.”

Kara breathes out, reaching for your arm. “I’ve always been yours.” 

“Kara.” You beg and that’s just it. That’s all that is. You say her name and nothing happens. Your stomach doesn’t twist and turn. Your mouth doesn’t taste bitter. It doesn’t hurt. Not when she’s the one you’re begging to, anyways. “Kara. Kara.”

“Does it still hurt?” Her hand slowly makes its way up your arm, shoulder, neck.

“No. Not when you’re around. Nothing hurts when you’re around.” 

Kara pulls you in for a kiss. Passionate and demanding, like she too terribly missed your body and mouth.

“Not even the cuts on the knee, huh?” She jokes, making you crack up a smile your mouth hasn't known in months. “I’ve missed that smile.”

“I’ve missed you.”

[yourlocaldummyishere]

A dream come true

Warnings: 

-forced p⭐️rn ⭐️

- shy corpse

-a few arguments

-dom corpse

-neck kissing

-sex

-dirty talk

-fingering

-name calling 

-blow job

-swearing

-✨drama✨

+ more

Me and corpse have been friends since we were kids when I had just turned 17 my parents had forced me to join a porn company so they could pay off their debts it was hard, every day after my so called “job” had ended instead of going home I ran straight to Corpse’s house and whenever he opened the door I would run straight into his arms and would hug him tightly crying into his chest because of the pain I was in. My legs were always sore and I could never catch a break, I could see it in his eyes, it hurt him to see me like this, I know he felt bad for me, he would always carry me to his bed and would cuddle me to calm me down, I felt bad for him too because of his condition, he wouldn’t be able to move his arms, his arms would lock in place even when he would just be trying to eat some breakfast, whenever I see it happen I would grab his spoon and I would just feed him his food, it’s the least I could do for him always helping me.

“Shit, hey Siri call y/n!”

Siri: calling y/n

“Hey Siri put y/n on speaker”

Siri: okay

“Hmm? Oh corpse is calling” she’d pick up her phone and would answer it “hey corpse what’s up?”

“I can’t move my arms can you come over?” I would say in a panicked voice

“Shit, yeah I’ll tell my boss it’s an emergency” she’d say panicked as well “just hang on I’ll be there as soon as I can okay?” She’d say in a concerned voice 

“O-okay” I would say my voice filled with fear

“Sir I have to go, it’s an emergency, I’ll work four times as much tomorrow, I promise”

“Y/n no need to overwork your body if it’s an emergency”

“Thank you sir”

“No problem my sexy money machine”

I would ignore my bosses comment and I quickly got outside of the building rushing over to my car and driving to his house I had a spare key so I let myself inside and I yelled out “CORPSE WHERE ARE YOU!?” I had said in a panicked voice concerned

“I’m in the kitchen”

I ran into the kitchen and I would hug him, he was trying to do the dishes “My poor bestie, I’ll do it, here, let me help you sit down” I said as I gently moved his arm on my shoulder and I put my arm on his back holding him and I would wrap my other arm around his stomach holding him close to keep him balanced and I would help him walk to his living room gently helping him sit down walking back to the kitchen and I would start to do the dishes for him 

“Thank you” he said as he closed his eyes and sighed

“No problem bae” I said as I started to dry off his dishes and putting them away

“Are you okay? On a scale of 0-1,000,000,000 how sore are your legs”

“It’s not as bad as yesterday but probably at least a million”

He would sigh “you have to quit that so called “job” of yours”

“You know I can’t corpse, my dear, you know my parents will kick me out, then what would I do? I would have nowhere to go, and I wouldn’t want to bother you when you stream”

“Fuck my streams, you’re more important out of all my friends, you know that you can sleep with me in my bed, for all I care, I’ll sleep on my floor if I have to”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, corpse you don’t have to do that you already do enough for me, you literally spoil the shit out of me, hell no, what makes you think I’ll let you sleep on your hard ass floor? I bet that floor is harder then a fucking dick could ever be”

Corpse’s eyes would go wide as he gets caught off guard but then he remembers that y/n is a lateral porn star so of course she would know that. His eyes would relax and he would chuckle “I keep on forgetting how bold you get, but at the same time I shouldn’t be surprised your are a literal porn star, so of course it’s not weird for you to be so bold like that”

“How the hell- meh I guess it doesn’t matter” I would say walking over to him and sitting next to him grabbing his left arm and massaging it until he could move it again and then I would get up sitting next to his right side grabbing his right arm and I would do the same thing I did to the left one and then I would get an idea and would smirk but then I would shake my head getting the idea out of my head

“What was the smirk for eh? Just do it I’m curious” he would say looking at her

I would smirk again and then I would sit on his lap and I would wrap my arms around him putting my head on his shoulder closing my eyes

He would wrap his arms around her and would lean his head up against the back of his couch

I would blush as I felt something hard against me, of course, I knew what it was but it was surprising because he said it was hard for him to get turned on, he had even mentioned one time that no matter how hard he try’s to he never could get himself to cum, no matter what he tried. He was comfortable talking about that kind of stuff with me because I knew a lot about sex more then him and the male body more then him so whenever he experiences something knew about his body he would call me usually in a panic because he’s scared something is wrong but usually nothing is wrong “hey umm so what did I do to make you hard Corpse?”

“Wait what?- oh shit sorry I didn’t realize, wait why the hell am I hard? that’s a good question, I have no idea how or why, this is weird, am I gonna die!?-“ 

I would cut him off by kissing him on the lips putting him in shock

“W-what was that for?-“

“I knew covering your mouth wouldn’t work so I had to do something to make you shut up you’re not going to die it’s just something that your body likes and it got you hard that’s all”

Corpse would relax his body and would lean up against me, burying his face into my neck

“Umm corpse?”

He would hum “Hm? Yeah what is it?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine just tired”

“How much sleep did you get last night?”

“None”

“Go to sleep!”

“Fine” he’d huff closing his eyes

“In your own bed not your fucking couch dumbass”

“Ouch”

“Go. To. Your. Own. Bed. NOW!”

“Okay, okay, geez!”

I would get off him and I would grab his arm pulling him to his feet and dragging him to his bedroom pushing him onto his bed and grabbing his phone from his side table walking out of his bedroom

“HEY WHAT THE HELL! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE MY PHONE WITH YOU!”

“It’s so you actually go to sleep now shut up and go to bed dumbass”

Corpse’s POV:

“Ugh rude” I’d whisper ‘but at the same time I’m glad she cares about me like this I don’t know what I would do without her’ I’d think to myself as I slowly started to drift off to sleep

A few hours later

“Mmh” ‘what’s that smell it’s so sweet’ I’d think to myself as my eyes flutter open slowly 

Y/n’s POV:

Sighs ‘My poor baby, I feel so bad for him’ I think to myself and then I would get an idea ‘I should make him a cake! Oh god I forgot his favorite cake flavor ugh what is it brain!? Think, think, umm I think it was- ugh I can’t think of it god damnit I’ll just make some homemade cinnamon raisin buns I think he mentioned something about loving them in one of his streams’ I said to myself walking into the kitchen putting his phone on the kitchen table walking over to his pantry grabbing the ingredients for some cinnamon raisin buns walking over to his cabinets grabbing a pan putting it on the kitchen table and starting to work on making the dough making sure to put some raisins in the dough putting small dashes of cinnamon in the dough and I would need the dough into small balls putting it in the oven baking it, after it was done I would pull it out putting a tiny dash of cinnamon over the top of it picking one up to do a taste test as Corpse walks into the kitchen walking over to me hugging me from behind grabbing the bun out of my hands taking a bite of it and giving it back to me

“It needs more cinnamon” he’d say grabbing the bun again eating the rest of it burying his face into my neck

I would jump at the sudden deep tired voice and the sudden touch from him

“Fucking hell Corpse you scared the shit out of me! And you shouldn’t be having sugar when you just woke up!”

he would groan “whyyyyyyyyy”

“Because you need fucking sleep” 

“And you need to rest your fucking legs and quit that fucking job”

“Corpse I can’t, I’ll have nowhere to go”

“I told you, you can stay with me”

“Corpse go back to sleep”

“Can I do a stream-”

“Do I have to force you to go to bed corpse” I say my left eye twitching annoyed “Stream later Corpse”

“Can I have another cinnamon-

“Absolutely not”

“Fine” he’d say walking away reaching for his phone but I would grab it before he could “dude what the fuck? Can I just have my fucking phone?”

“No go to sleep”

Corpse would huff walking back into his bedroom and flop down on his bed as I would grab one of the buns taking a bite of it ‘he’s right it dose need more cinnamon’ I would add some more taking a bite ‘okay that’s good, that’s enough’ I think to myself a few minutes later I would walk into his room with the pan of buns and his phone putting his phone on his desk and sitting next to him on his bed and putting the pan on his side table and I would pull my phone out and I would start to watch some TikToks and some of his past streams after and hour our two his eyes would flutter open looking at his side table grabbing one of the buns and eating it and he would groan at how good it tastes “it’s way better”

“I know,” I say proudly “you can go stream if you want your phone is on your desk”

“Thanks”

“Mm hm”

He would sit up sitting on the edge of his bed grabbing another bun

“Save some for me geez”

“No” he would say obviously joking as he hands me one getting up from his bed waking over to his desk turning on his stuff getting everything set up and would start streaming talking to his viewers for a bit before Rae Would say something that makes me look up 

“Hey corpse?”

“Yeah?”

“How’s y/n doing? Is she okay? I mean like I kinda wouldn’t be surprised if she was permanently in a wheelchair because of her so called job”

“Actually-“ he’d turn to look at me on his bed as he reaches out his hand signaling me to walk over to him so I do and he give me his headphones 

“Corpse? Are you okay? Why aren’t you talking?” 

“Umm…. Hiiiiiiii Rae”

“Oh my god y/n!? What are you doing at corpses house!? What the hell?”

“Has corpse no- ah corpse what are you doing!? Nah~”

“Y/n are you okay!? What is corpse doing!?”

“N-nothing he just caught me off guard”

“What did he do?”

“He pulled me into his lap”

“Oh my god really!?”

“Yeah, but I’m used to it, he does it all the time it just- it just catches me off guard sometimes”

“Wait sometimes?”

“Yeah….”

“Have you even seen his face before?”

“Yeah I see it all the time why?”

“All the time? All the time! What do you mean ‘all the time’!?”

“Rae, we’ve been best friends since we were kids”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah”

“Oh that reminds me are you in a wheelchair?”

I would start laughing “Rae it’s not that bad”

“Yeah sure that’s why corpse told me it was a million this time and five million last time”

“Uhhhh-“

“Don’t argue with me y/n we both know it’s true”

“Corpse stop it don’t you dare”

“Stop what?”

“Ugh curse you and your good looks”

“Alright bet I’m a handsome motherfucker according to my best friend”

“Not what I meant jackass”

“And I’m a jackass apparently”

“Oh my god corpse stop!”

“Stop what?~” he’d say in a flirty tone

“Why are you being so sexual today- Nah~”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, corpse what the hell are you doing to y/n!?”

“R-Rae it’s fine he’s just doing some things that are a little I guess you could say flirting- corpse can you stop and get your face out of my neck dumbass”

“And I’m a dumbass? Wow”

“Whoa, he’s doing what!?”

“It’s fine, he’ll be fine, as long as I don’t move I’ll be okay”

“Whoa wait what!?” Toast would as he had just joined the game

“Rae fill him in please”

“Ummm Alright” 

After a few minutes

“Wow, really, Copse, acting like that?”

“Yeah, surprise! he’s a clingy bitch”

“So I’m a bitch too?”

“Shut up corpse and just start playing with your friends”

“You’re my friend so can I play wit-“

“Absolutely not”

After a few rounds

“I’m tired guys can I just log off and spend time alone with my best friend?”

“Don’t go fucking her corpse” Rae would say jokingly

“Which way?”

“The way to get her pregnant dumbass” she’d say thinking Corpse what joking

“Eh I’m more into face fucking anyways bye”

“Wait wha-!” 

Before Toast and Rae could finish their sentences corpse had ended stream and shut down his pc and other stuff and would start to kiss y/n’s neck

“Nah~ C-Corpse what are you doing~”

“Shhh~ my love, I love you, so, so much, I thought I made it obvious, no? Last week when we were at the bar and when that one guy grabbed you by the waist and I came up to you and pulled you to me and I said ‘back off she’s mind bitch’ do you remember that?” He’d say and then kissing my neck again wrapping his arms around me

“Y-yeah”

Corpse would turn me around so I can look at his face

“You know you’re quite cute when you get all flustered~”

“Shut up”

“Make me~”

“You wanna be like this? Fine we can be like this” I’d say as I leaned in kissing him sliding my hands under his shirt as he moans into the kiss

“God I keep forgetting you’re a pro at this shit”

“Well~ sense you got me all worked up what do you want me to do first eh?~”

“Like I said I’m into face fucking”

“Hehe how cute, you think I would just drop to my knees and start sucking?~”

“Hehe what do I gotta do to make you suck me off?~”

“You gotta find out yourself pretty boy~”

“Haha well damn how about I tell you all the places I want to fucking you in?~”

“Hehe where handsome?~”

“Everywhere”

“Where first?~”

“How about the classic, the bedroom”

“Alright if you want my dear~”

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?~”

“I’ll try~”

“Get on the bed”

“Mmh…… no”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“Make me baby~”

He would chuckle and would gently wrap his hand around my neck “do I have to be demanding or do I have to carry you and tie you down and make you suck me off?”

“Be demanding, if that’s what you want~”

“Well then~” he’d smirk “get on the fucking bed or I’ll fuck you until you pass out and even after your out I’ll continue” 

“Fine, but, can you carry me? Please?”

“Fine”

He would pick me up and would carry me to his bed I thought he would throw me onto his bed but surprisingly he put me down gently and he crawled on top of me and kissed my neck his hand moving down to the rim of my shirt as he slowly slipped his hand under my shirt moving his kisses to my lips and I would slide both of my hands under his shirt my hands running up and down his muscles slowly as he started to lift my shirt over my body gently I thought he would be more rough and straight forward getting to the point quickly but yet he was being very gentle so I would pull away from the kiss and he looked down at me confused 

“Why did you pull away?” He’d ask confused and worried if he did something wrong

How sweet of him he’s too pure and cute “bae you are too cute and too pure”

“Sorry I’m new to this”

“It’s okay love I can do it for you if you want, I was new to it once in my life too.”

although my virginity had been forced to be taken away and I was used to this kind of stuff, it felt like I was brand new to it, as if it was my first time again.

“Relax, your body is too tense love”

“I don’t want to hurt you”

“How could you hurt me?”

“My umm- I-“

“You can just spill it out remember I’m a porn star so-“

He would cut me off mid-sentence “My dick is an unusual size”

I’d look up him slightly surprised at his boldness but then I would chuckle at his shyness when he had looked away blushing like crazy he looked as red as a tomato “That’s okay love”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course”

“Can you- can you do it? I mean like, can you show me how to do it? God that feels so wrong to say”

“Hey it’s okay if your not ready- mmh!?”

He would press his lips against mine as he was getting a little impatient

“Okay Mr ima be impatient”

“Please”

“Are you sure you’re ready-“

“Just do it……… please”

“Okay if you’re sure”

“Is there anything you want me to do first-“

“A bow job”

“Alright, sit on the edge of the bed”

“Okay” he moved to the edge of the bed looking down at the floor as I sat next to him and gave him a hug

“If you feel uncomfortable at any point just tell me and I’ll stop okay?”

“O-okay” 

I would move to the floor getting in between his legs and I looked up at him as he looked away blushing I look back down at the zipper of his jeans and I would unzip his jeans and he would looks down at me pulling his jeans down now he’s only left in his boxers and shirt

“Are you sure your okay-“

“Shut up and just do it”

“……. Make me” I’d smirk

He would pull me into his lap and would grab the bottom of my pants pulling them off and I grab his shirt pulling it off now I’m only in my underwear and bra he would then grab my waist and would pull me onto the bed crawling on top of me again kissing me as he moves his hands to the clip of my bra unhooking my bra taking it off moving his hands down pulling my underwear down moving his hand down my stomach his hand moving in between my thighs spreading my legs looking down at me

“Y/n”

“C-corpse I-“ he would cut me off kissing me on the lips as he would start to tease my clit and I would run my hands down his chest slowly pulling his boxers down as he deepens the kiss our tongues dancing with each others as his other hand would find it’s way to my boobs grabbing one of them teasing my nipple and massaging my boob as I moaned into the kissed his hand slowly moving down

“C-corpse please stop teasing me and just do it”

“Now who’s the impatient one~”

I would grab his hand and I would move it down making him touch my entrance as he looks down at me with lust and I would look up at him he would lean down and kiss me as he would slowly start to put a finger in my entrance and I would moan my moan being muffled by the kiss and he would slowly start to move it in and out and he pulled away from the kiss looking down watching as he finger fucks me as I continue to moan after a few seconds he would start to move his finger faster adding another finger making my moans louder moving his fingers faster and faster after a few minutes he would them pull out bringing his fingers to his mouth licking them “you taste good, you should have a taste” he said putting his fingers to my mouth as I would open my mouth and he would put his fingers in my mouth I would close my mouth swirling my tongue around his fingers and then taking his fingers out “get on your knees” he’d say “yes sir” I’d say as he got off me

I would suddenly sit up as ice cold water had been thrown on me

“Finally you’re awake! Now, BACK FROM THE TOP EVERYONE!”

It was just a dream that didn’t happen? But it seemed so real, and felt real too, oh wait- maybe because when I passed out I still felt him doing all of that to me

“Nah!~ f-fuck Axel! Ah!~”

‘shit he’s going too deep’

“You like that you little whore!? What a good slut you are for me!”

After a few hours

“Ah my fucking head, fucking hell Axel you couldn’t go gentle!? Your character is supposed to be gentle, shy, and new at it not fucking a pro did you not read the script correctly!?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever that still doesn’t change that fact that you’re a fucking slut and a whore” Axel would say blowing the smoke of his cigarette in my face smirking

“Fucking idiot”

“You wanna go again you fucking whor-“

“Y/n your shift is over you can go home now. Axel we have to discuss your character, again”

I would get up and put my clothes back on running out of the building, running over to corpse’s house knocking on the door trying to hold my tears back

“C-corpse o-open the door p-please!”

“Holy shit what happed this time”

I would run into his arms crying and he would wrap his arms around me “shhh~ it’s okay y/n come on let’s get you inside”

“T-thank you”

“Do you want anything at all?”

“C-can we just cuddle?”

“Yeah of course”

Corpse would lead y/n inside his house closing the door behind her walking into his room with her in his arms laying her gently in his bed laying down next to her after a few minutes he would speak up

“How much longer y/n?”

“Huh?”

“How much longer until you can quit that job?”

“What do you mean?”

“How much more money do your parents need to pay of their debts?”

“I only need four more months of work and then I can quit it”

It’s like seven minutes in hell but for four months 

“I passed out at ‘work’ today, I don’t want to go back, but, I have to”

“It’s okay you know I’m always here for you”

“Thank you Corpse”

“No problem”

I don’t know how long we were talking for after that but probably after a few minutes maybe five I had passed out and fell asleep when I woke up it was morning so I had to barrow some of Corpse’s clothes he didn’t mind though he never does if I ask he tells me I can keep his clothes I barrow if I want but I always say no because I don’t want to just steal his clothes he already gets me everything I want kinda like a sugar daddy but we’re only 2 years apart and he doesn’t do anything sexual to me like never so I don’t know how I didn’t realize that was just a dream because Corpse isn’t that kind of guy to just do creepy shit like that so what kind of dumb ass fucking fantasy was that shit!?

“Hey are you okay?”

I would jump a little started by a man’s voice

“Huh- oh hey Enzo, yeah I’m fine I just zoned out for a bit”

Enzo is my other best friend he’s the one who’s usually pared up with me for the porn videos the company makes me do he’s a great guy to be honest every time we’re pared up together I usually end up making 500-$1,000 he makes sure I at least get $1,000 because of the situation I’m in, he understands the pain and struggle I’m in so he helps out too but he doesn’t know about Corpse being my best friend I keep it a secret because he told me he’s a big fan and if he ever meets him he’ll tell everyone about it and ask him millions of questions and I can’t do that to Corpse because he can get stressed really easily and a lot of people think he doesn’t so I have to protect him from Enzo like he does for me

“Oh alright well, boss told me to tell you, you have five minutes until you have to go on set Axel’s personality had gotten changed and the script too so read up”

Only five minutes to get ready!? Holy hell I gotta read faster then I have ever in my life

“God what kind of sick script Is this shit!?”

‘What the hell!? A rape script!? So I’m supposed to act like a 16 year old and Axel plays as 50 year old man!? WHAT THE FUCK!?’ I’d think to myself my face full of disgust ‘who the hell would get turned on by this shit!?’ I’d mumble under my breath

After a long five hours I would grab my clothes and put them back on stumbling off set as Enzo rushed over to me as I feel down to my knees holding my stomach and Enzo would start yelling angrily at our boss I couldn’t hear what he said all I was forced on is how the hell I was going to get out of the shit hold of a building and back to corpse

“Enzo go get me my phone”

“Uh alright”

He would let go of me and a minute later he would come back with my

“Here”

He said giving me my phone

“Thanks”

I said as I unlocked my phone and when to my contacts dialing Corpse’s number

Corpse’s POV

“Rae shut the fuck up y/n is calling me”

“Rude”

“Hey what’s up?” 

“Come pick me up”

“Where are you”

“Work, I can’t drive or walk”

“Shit, yeah send me the address”

Few minutes later

“NOW! WHERE THE FUCK IS Y/N!”

“Sir you can’t go in there!-“

“WELL THATS TO DAMN BAD!”

“Corpse!” She said as she had tried to run up to me and hug me but I would run to her instead

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here, I’m here, it’s okay”

The people had started to mumble as Enzo had walked over to her

“Your friends with corpse!?”

“Yeah she is so what?”

“So what? She promised me, she said ‘if I even get to meet him I’ll ask if you can meet him too!’ that’s what!”

“You’re forgetting a detail, you’re also an obsessed fan, she told me all about you”

“Really y/n!?”

“Sorry…..”

“Unbelievable”

“Y/n don’t be a people pleaser right now please”

“Sorry”

Few hours later

“Hey Y/n look at the picture I took!”

“So hot”

“Huh?”

“I-I mean you look great!”

{part two soon my lovely’s! Btw sorry for my bad grammar and bad punctuation😞}

[princess-of-the-corner]

I think it's a chat fic?

So, I just remembered a fic where Aizawa finds out about Izuku’s Quirk (just the manifesting on Exam day part). Like, he finds out during a staff room chat, when Toshinori sort of casually mentions it, and Aizawa’s like “WaitwaitwaitHold the FUCK-!” And All Might says, “wait, you didn’t KNOW!?” Because apparently, All Might was actually NOT going to send the kid in blind, and helped him with his paperwork. He wanted Izuku to succeed, and that means accurate (or mostly accurate) records - including being one of the very rare people who manifested their Quirk late because their body couldn’t handle it yet, ya know, like All Might. So by all accounts, Izuku’s Quirk Status manifesting the day of the exam SHOULD be in his file. Aizawa yanks out Izuku’s file, goes over it, and indeed, finds the appropriate passage. It’s ONE SENTENCE, on page 3 of his medical record, which Aizawa NEVER reads entirely, only skims, because besides general allergies, he’s of the opinion that other people’s medical records are only his business in an emergency. If there’s anything TRULY concerning, Recovery Girl usually brings it to his attention, so he goes to her. Recovery Girl calmly apologizes to Aizawa, saying she should have alerted him and not just trusted Izuku to bring it up on his own. 

We then have two different conversations. 

First is Aizawa and Izuku. Aizawa confronts him on manifesting the day of the exam (Izuku: “YOU DIDN’T KNOW!?”) and … I’m not sure apologizes is the right word, but tells Izuku if he’d known, he would have tried to help him more. He thought he was dealing with a kid who was reckless with his own Quirk and didn’t understand the consequences, not one who’d only had it for a week and was still adjusting. Izuku is all, “no, it’s fine, really, you’re actually the nicest teacher I’ve ever had!” (which does not actually make Aizawa feel better).

Second conversation is All Might and Recovery Girl yelling at Nezu for Izuku’s medical file, because you’ll NEVER GUESS who All Might went to for help when he needed to assist Izuku.

-

Honestly this is pretty close to how it’s gonna go down in Chaos Children lmao.

Like like like. Izuku’s file was updated of ‘suddenly has a Quirk’(that’s actually canon lmao) and assumed his teachers all knew about it because it’s in his file wouldn’t they read the entire section on a kids’ Quirk? 

But yeah Aizawa tends to skim the file for the basics because he wants to get a feel of the kid’s personality and their Quirk with a mostly-fresh viewpoint instead of possibly outdated information(kids rarely update their registry after first manifestation) or the kid’s own hangups/biases, and expects the kid to bring up any issues because he’s a teacher here to help them why wouldn’t they do that?

Usually there’s no reason for him to look into it further unless something happens. Like what happened with the Tokoyami situation: Aizawa noticed ‘Dark Shadow’ wasn’t behaving right when he used his own Quirk on ‘it’, and looked a little deeper into the files and found out about Eimi.

Izuku is /starting/ to have this situation, but not quite. Because Aizawa kinda assumed at first that Izuku was just an idiot thinking he could rely on pure power while letting everyone else pick up the pieces. Izuku doesn’t challenge this, but seems to improve once he’s ‘called out on this behavior’. Then Izuku starts improving really quickly, but even so Aizawa can just now kinda write it off as ‘okay the kid had a powerful Quirk that can hurt him, and just didn’t have much practice because it being so volatile meant either property damage or injury to himself, which UA can now deal with for him freeing him to actually use it. Ofc he’s going to improve’. But yeah he doesn’t know the Quirk ‘just manifested during the exam’.

Which yeah Izuku, when confronted, is like “I thought you knew? Also I’m not really the type of kid who trusts teachers, even when they’re Heroes who have saved my ass before.”

[wrenreid]

Off Limits

contains: mentions of alcohol, angst, talk of virginity

Chapter Twenty-One

As much as I want to stay at this party to prove to Spencer (or really myself) that I’m fine after all that just happened, I leave pretty quickly after he does.

The uber drops me off at my dad’s apartment, well I guess it’s mine too now, and I try to get in as quietly as I possibly can. My efforts are quickly seen to be pointless when I nearly scream from shock at the sight of my father on the couch, mug in hand, laptop on his lap.

“Shit, Dad,” I breathe, holding my heart dramatically from the adrenaline of the shock.

“You’re really good at greeting people,” he jokes, but there’s no smile on his face or even in his eyes.

I lock the door and hang up my keys on the hook before slipping out of my shoes and leaving them by the door to be taken care of later.

“Everything okay?” I ask as I sit down next to him.

It’s well past midnight and the bags under his eyes are more prominent than before, so I already know the answer, and he knows that.

But he lies anyway. It must be instinct for him. “Yeah,” he nods, patting my knee for a second.

“Dad,” I raise my eyebrows giving him a look that lets him know I don’t want to hear his bullshit.

“You look just like your mother when you’re upset with me,” he says with a slight, unamused chuckle.

I frown, leaning my head on his shoulder. “I may be your kid, but I’m also an adult. You can talk to me.”

He rests his head on top of mine, kissing my temple like he used to do when I was young. “It’s just case work, bug. Nothing you need to worry about.”

Bug. He hasn’t called me that in years, maybe even a decade. When I was little, Mom would call be Jadie Bug which I pretended to hate because I did not want to be compared to a stink bug. My dad shortened it to just bug. Which I wasn’t too fond of but secretly loved.

“If you say so,” I sigh, not leaving his side. “You really should sleep. It’s not healthy to be up this late staring at a computer screen.”

“But it’s healthy to be up this late drinking?” His tone isn’t judgmental, just observant.

“My young body and mind is built for late nights. Yours, however, is not.”

“Are you calling me old?” A real chuckle releases from him.

“If the shoe fits, grandpa.”

“Ah. I better not be a grandpa anytime soon,” he grimaces.

“At this rate in my love life and school career, Jack will be the first of us to have kids.”

My dad smiles, ruffling my hair. “Good. You’re going to make an awesome lawyer, and although kids are amazing, I want you to focus on your career.”

“Trust me, Dad. I am,” I say with a slight grin.

It’s not like I’m ever going to move past second base with anyone at this point. Spencer pops into my head, and honestly, it just pisses me off.

“Do you regret having me so young?” I ask.

My father looks at me a little hurt. “Of course not. Having a baby made it hard to go to university, but I don’t regret having you at all. Neither did Haley.”

I nod, a faint smile on my face. “Get some sleep.” I kiss my father’s cheek quickly before getting off the couch and heading up to my room.

—

I honestly can’t believe that just happened. But I’m laying in bed with an anxiety and guilt ridden stomach ache with Jade not here, so it definitely did.

God, her face when she asked “What’s wrong with me?” Sent a dagger through my heart. She looked so hurt, confused.

And I did that. I never wanted to do that to anyone, especially not her. She’s Jade. She’s a precious gemstone. A perfect flower that needs to remain unplucked in order to continue to flourish. And she’s by boss’s daughter.

Every muscle in my body was screaming at me to turn around and not walk out of that house, but she wasn’t to be argued with. Her mind was set on her staying and me leaving. So I did.

I feel like such a fucking jackass. Not only did she think that somehow this is her fault, but I also can’t even begin to explain this whole situation to myself, let alone to her.

Every self righteous, carefully thought out bone in my body tells me that I can’t give into temptation. I can’t give into her.

I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like there’s always been that voice inside my head that yells at me when I even think something wrong. I’m a genius. A prodigy. Everything I do is supposed to be perfect. There’s no possible way that I could be what she needs, so I can’t ruin her.

I don’t call her until after the sun comes home. I’m hoping she got some rest. I don’t want to bother her because I know she’s upset, but I want to know she made it home okay.

She doesn’t answer. But at least the phone rings all four times, so at least she’s not declining my call. After the beep, I say, “Hey. I know you don’t want to talk after last night, but I wanted to know if you’re okay. Call me back… if you want to. Um, that’s all. Bye.”

I’d like to think she’s still asleep and that’s why she didn’t pick up, but I’m very aware of the possibility that she just didn’t want to talk to me. It’s understandable. I just wish I could fix this.

As much as I would rather focus on Jade right now, it’s pointless to dwell on last night when she won’t even talk to me. I also have work. Probably, hopefully, not a case. It should just be paperwork.

—

I would tease him for leaving a voicemail instead of texting like a normal twenty-something year old, but I’m not in the mood for teasing. I’m not in the mood to text him that I’m okay, and I’m definitely not in the mood to call him back.

I can’t be mad at him for not wanting to sleep with me, and I’m really not. I don’t really know what I’m feeling, but I do know that mad isn’t even close. I’m more so disappointed, I guess. Disappointed in the whole situation and in myself for getting drunk and practically begging him to fuck me. Which now that I’m really thinking about it is so wrong and embarrassing that I want to curl up in a hole and live there until I’m food for the worms to eat.

I know I was pretty drunk, but that doesn’t keep the embarrassment and recoil from twisting in my stomach. I think if 17 year old me had witnessed last night, she’d want to smother me with my pillow. Hell, I now want to smother myself with my pillow.

Even though I’m disgusted, embarrassed, and upset from last night, I still think he deserves the right to know I didn’t pass out in a pool of my own vomit at the party. Or worse.

So I text Spencer.

“I made it home fine. No need to worry.”

He’s at work, so I know he won’t see the message for a while.

Instead of beating myself up over last night, I put my energy into making Jack and myself breakfast.

“I’m glad to hear that. I know you probably, definitely, don’t want to talk to me… but can we please talk later?”

I sigh as I read the message on my phone.

“Bad news?” Jack asks like he’s some type of grown man reading my facial expressions.

“No,” I laugh softly, ruffling his hair. “Just a friend asking a favor.”

“What’s a favor?”

“It’s like when someone asks you to do something for them. Like if I were to ask you to put my plate in the sink.”

“Why would I do that?” He asks.

“Because I’m your big sister, and you love me.”

The kid shrugs and takes both of our plates to the sink. He can’t reach the faucet yet, but the effort is appreciated.

“Do you want to go out with us? I promised Jack I’d take him to Mr. Gatti’s tonight for pizza and games,” my father asks me when he’s home.

“Unfortunately, I will have to skip out on the stomach-destroying food and thousands of children running around,” I tell him.

“On the account of?”

“On the account of my sanity.”

He laughs, shrugging in understanding. “Want money to order out?”

“I would never turn down money, Dad.”

After an hour or so, my dad and brother leave to go to dinner. Knowing how much of a sucker my father is for the puppy dog eyes Jack has mastered the art of, thanks to me, they’ll be gone for at least two and a half hours.

There’s a knock on the front door, and I get up to answer it.

“Oh-” I’m a little shocked to see Spencer at my door. “I forgot to respond to your message, sorry.”

I’m not sure why I’m apologizing for that, but here I am.

“It’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. That um…”

I know what he’s going to say. “That we’re okay.” But are we?

“I’m okay, Spencer,” I tell him, nodding.

“I’m really sorry,” he says.

He’s the first to say it. Once again, I’m fucking stubborn.

“Yeah. Me too,” I say, not looking him in the eyes.

“You don’t have any-“

“Yes I do, Spencer. I really do.” I run my hands through my hair with a sigh. “Who the hell freaks out over someone not sleeping with them? I feel like some cocky frat boy.”

Spencer smiles softly, his dimples catching my attention. “You’re a lot prettier than a cocky frat boy. And smarter.”

“Not the point. I’m sorry for last night. For being a drunken idiot,” I tell him.

“I wasn’t exactly the smartest either. I’m sorry for making you feel shitty.”

I let him into the apartment, plopping down on the arm of the couch as he stays standing. “I never said I felt shitty,” I say, trying to make myself seem cooler and as if he doesn’t have an affect over me. But he gives me a look. “I hate you profilers so much.”

“Can we just move past this?” He asks, his hazel eyes filled with a bit of hope.

“I want to, Spencer. But I can’t help but think that this is because of me,” I tell him.

“Jade,” he sighs, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth.

“Just forget it,” I say, not wanting to put in the effort for this conversation.

“No,” he says. “You’re right. I just… I don’t know how to explain it without sounding-” Spencer stops talking. “It’s just that it would just seem weird because you’re a…”

Oh my god, he can’t even say it. I’m about to die of embarrassment. And anger.

“You said it wasn’t about me! If there’s something wrong with me, just fucking say it, Spencer.”

“You’re a virgin!”

I knew that’s what he was going to say, but it still stings.

“You don’t want me because I haven’t had sex before? That’s all kinds of fucked up, Spencer.”

“It’s not that… I- I can’t be your first. It would be so disappointing.”

My face contorts with confusion. Is he bullshitting me? “You’re worried about your performance?”

“No, Jade. I’m worried about not being what you expect,” he says, an expression I can’t quite read written all over his face. “I’m not what you need.”

“I don’t…” I take a breath, not even sure what the hell to say. “I don’t need anyone, Spencer. You’re right, you’re not what I need.”

His eyebrows pinch together and raise at the same time. He’s hurt. I can read that.

“Oh. Right,” he says. “I’m sorry I showed up unannounced.”

“Wait, Spencer. That sort of came out wrong. I don’t need you. But I want you. I’ve wanted you for fucking years. I never thought I’d have a chance, so this… It’s all just been so much. But if you actually like me, then I’m okay with taking it slow. It’s probably for the best anyway.”

A small smile creeps up onto his face. “Are you serious?”

“Law school hasn’t taught me to be good at lying yet,” I joke. “You don’t have to feel like you’re not good enough or whatever the hell you’re thinking in that confusing brain of yours. And I don’t care if us being together is technically wrong. I don’t give a fuck what’s wrong because I want you.”

Spencer offers his hand out to me, and I let him pull me up to my feet. His hands hold my hips as he looks down at me.

“So are we good?” I ask, biting my lip.

“We’re more than good,” he smiles, pulling me closer. “I want you too. And I want to do this whole thing right. So no sex yet.”

“If that’s what you want,” I nod, my hands rubbing his shoulders.

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t do other stuff whenever you’re comfortable with it,” Spencer says, leaning down to kiss me.

I return the gentle kiss before pulling away. “Like what?”

“Like things that seem too inappropriate to say out loud in a living room where I can see toys,” he says with a slight laugh.

I still hold onto him but turn around. “Right. I need to clean up.”

“Not right now I hope,” Spencer says with his puppy dog eyes.

“Nah, not right now. We have another hour-ish to make out in my room if you want,” I suggest with a hopeful grin.

“Yes please,” he nods, messy hair falling into his face.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @daph-421 @idkusername8787

[deancasbigbang]

Title: The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

Author: oracle

Artist: parhelion_ava

Rating: Mature

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Dean Winchester/Ruby, Castiel/Daphne

Length: 65000

Warnings: No Archive Warning Apply

Tags: Depictions of Drug Use, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Overdose, Unrequited But Actually Requited Love, College/University, Out of Body Experiences, Very Slow Burn

Posting Date: November 1, 2023

Summary: Dean Winchester has known he was in love with his best friend for a long time. He never planned on saying anything, at least, not until friends and family convinced him otherwise. Only the confession doesn't go as planned: Cas rejects him. Distraught and hurt, he heads to a bar to drink his sorrows away, and upon meeting a woman named Ruby, enters a whole new world. Now battling his broken heart and new substance dependance, he needs to decide what is more important: his (still ever-present and strong) feelings for Cas, or his new found "freedom" with Ruby.

Excerpt: Dean laughed to himself. “Don’t get all teary on me Sammy, you’re an ugly crier and no one wants to see that.” Sam, of course, didn’t respond but kept looking at him. “I’ll just stay here until you wake up.” His eyes geared up. “It’s the least I can do.” “How sweet.” said a new voice.  Dean turned around, startled. He wasn’t prepared for a new voice. He noticed Sam didn’t turn around, so it must have been a visitor for him.  He turned to look at the girl who was about his age. She had long dark hair, and a pale face. She was wearing hospital scrubs. “Nice to see you again Dean.” “Hey, you’re the surgery girl I saw earlier.” Dean pointed to her. “What are you doing here?” She laughed. “I’m sorry I confused you earlier.” She held out her hand. “I guess now is a time for introductions. I’m Tessa. I’m a reaper” “A reaper? Like to ferry me to another plane?” Tessa nodded and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, I guess. You already know who I am.” She nodded. “I do.”  “So why are you here then?” Dean said. “To shepherd me to the other side?”  Tessa looked at his body. “You’re at a crossroads Dean. You have two choices. I can take you to whatever afterlife is awaiting you.” She paused, then gestured to his body. “Or you can get shoved back into this body. You might not remember this time though.” Dean raised an eyebrow. “Since when do people get choices?” “Since you are special. You’re in a trance-like state now. Think very carefully Dean. You only have one choice.” “How long do I have to choose?” Tessa looked contemplative and said, “How about this. You tell me how you ended up here and by the time the story is over I want your decision.” Dean shrugged. “Why would you care?” Tessa raised an eyebrow, and shrugged as well. “I don’t, but I do want something to pass the time.” That got a laugh out of him. Dean nodded, and said, “Whatever. So let me spin you my tale of woe.” Tessa nodded. “Alright, so who is this?” She gestured to Sam.  “My little brother. He feels partially responsible for what happened. Which is true to an extent. I mean, it wasn’t his fault entirely, but he definitely didn’t do anything to help. I can’t be too hard on him though, he did try his best. He’s only a kid And some of the things were just a bout of bad luck for me.” Tessa nodded. “Well that’s it, isn’t it? You can try your best, but it just isn’t enough sometimes. Bad things just…happen.” Dean nodded. “Yeah.” A moment went by. He looked at Sam and took. deep breath. “They do.”

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

[thesakuragarnet]

PHOENIX: A Pro Hero Toya Todoroki AU (Chapter One)

THIS FIC IS 18+ ONLY!!!!!

Summary: For most of his life, Toya Todoroki was a loner. He was a scrawny, broody kid only known for getting in an explosive fight that led to him being held back. That is...until he met Keigo Takami. Navigating love, his own demons, and the road to becoming a Pro Hero, will Toya Todoroki be able to prove his father wrong?

TL;DR: What if Rei Todoroki saved her eldest child from his accident at Sekoto Peak and he got the Hero Arc he deserved?

Tags for the full fic (which is heavily tagged in the author's notes per chapter on AO3): DabiHawks, Pro Hero Dabi, alternate universe, child ab*se, implied sexual content (including implied consensual sexual content between teenagers), underage drinking, implied/referenced r word, explicit sexual content (between of-age consenting parties), graphic depictions of violence, anxiety disorder and panic attacks, s*ic!dal thoughts, eventual happy ending, fluff, smut, angst, implied/referenced s3lf harm, hurt/comfort, Vigilante League of Villains, Geten is not a Himura, POV TOYA TODOROKI

Word Count: Chapter One, which is posted below, is 3,245 words. The full fic (which will be completed on 11/21/2023) is roughly 270,000 words.

AO3 link to the full fic

Chapter One: MONTAGE (Year: Early 2117)

It’s the first day of my repeated year, and not a single person even looks in my direction. The reputation I built for myself isn’t exactly helping; I’d nearly incinerated another student who was talking shit about my sister last semester. He deserved it; it’s a shame he wasn’t in the ICU after what he said. Nevertheless, every single person in the Private Hero Training Academy avoided me like the plague. I skipped orientation this year, thinking it wasn’t worth it. I’d just be paired with yet another loser who would always find an excuse to not be my roommate and switch out; I didn’t care to make friends anymore. 

I sit quietly at the smallest table in the corner of the cafeteria, my hair falling over my eyes as I stare emptily into the bowl of noodles. I shove it to the side; I’m not in the mood to eat anything right now. Tears prick my eyes as I think about what happened when I was home last week. 

“IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU WEREN’T SO DAMN WEAK HE WOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT!” My father bellowed at our mother as Natsuo, Fuyumi, and I struggled to keep Shoto sheltered from the noise of the violent slaps that echoed through the house. 

“HE KNOWS NO DISCIPLINE!” 

SMACK!

“HE KNOWS NO MANNERS!”

SMACK!

“HE IS A FAILED EXPERIMENT!”

SMACK!

I suddenly break down and put my head on the table, resting my forehead on my arms so no one will see my tears. ‘I wish I didn’t exist anymore.’ I think to myself...

…

...

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! 

A rapping noise echoes on the wooden table. 

“Hey, you’re Toya, right?” A sprightly voice calls. I keep my head down, staring at the darkness that I formed in the shelter of my arms. I try to keep my body still so they can’t notice I’m crying, and I struggle to stop. 

“Who wants to know?” I gripe, keeping my voice steady.

“Oh, I’m Keigo Takami! I’m your roomie this year! Hey, are you okay? Or just tired? Hope I didn’t wake you up,” Keigo laughs. 

“Are you new or something?” I snap, not in the mood to talk. 

“How’d you guess?! Yeah! I’m a first-year! Ready to become a hero! Anyway, is it okay if I sit here? I don’t really know anyone yet.” Before I can say anything, I feel him sit down next to me. 

“Are you gonna eat your food?”

“Not hungry,” I say flatly. I briefly activate my Quirk on my face so all the tears evaporate, but no one can see it the way I have my head down.

“Then why’d you get it?”

“You ask a lot of damn questions don’t you,” I growl before raising my head to look at him. Keigo Takami’s Quirk is obvious at first glance. The fifteen-year-old sports an elegant pair of feathered, red wings on his back. He returns my glare with a bright smile, and an emotion I’ve never felt before rips through my entire body. 

“Are you not scared of me?” I ask, indignantly, but, once again, Takami just returns my venom with warm, caring eyes. 

“Why would I be scared of you? Hey, did you know your hair is turning white?” Keigo points to the white streaks that pepper my crimson hair. 

“Stress. And my mom’s Quirk.” I mumble, suddenly wishing I had a hood that I could pull up to hide it. 

“Oh. That’s cool. I guess. Hey, you sure you don’t wanna eat anything? You can have half of my sandwich!” He extends half of his PB&J to me, but I put my head back down. Keigo shrugs, and, then, his eyes light up. 

“OH MY GOD! I ALMOST FORGOT TO ASK! Your last name is Todoroki, right? As in Endeavor’s son? What’s it like having such an awesome Pro Hero as a dad?” He excitedly asks, and my brain fills with screams. 

“I WON’T LET YOU SLEEP UNTIL YOU’VE PERFECTED THIS MOVE! GET UP!” 

A phantom pain in my stomach forms where I got kicked last week; I’d forced myself to stand and finish the exercise, burning my shoulder in the process. I feel my emotions setting my Quirk into overdrive; I’ve gotta get out of here. Without saying a word, I immediately stand up and walk out of the cafeteria, leaving Keigo alone, worried, and confused. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Few Months Later

(Almost the end of the First Semester)

 

“DAD I DIDN’T MEAN TO HURT SHOTO!” I scream as I wake up from a horrible nightmare...well...a memory. I’m covered in cold sweat, and I’m shaking uncontrollably. A faint blue glow permeates the darkness of the room, and I panic as I realize I’ve set my pillow on fire. 

“SHIT SHIT SHIT!” I whisper heatedly as I get up on my knees and struggle to put it out with my trembling hands, burning myself. I bite my lip as I endure the pain to snuff out the flames, leaving a tender red mark in the middle of my palm. When I successfully put it out, my mind flashes with my father’s terrifying, furious gaze; all I hear is my mother and my siblings screaming at me. I continue to shake uncontrollably and begin hyperventilating. I stare at my open, shivering palms...The weapons that I used on my little brother. It was an accident. But that didn’t change the fact that it happened. If Mom hadn’t acted quickly, who knows what could have happened. And it would’ve been all my fault. Tears start streaming down my face, as I start rocking back and forth, desperately trying to calm myself down.

“Toya?” A sleepy voice echoes through the darkness, and a feather whizzes by my head before pulling open the curtains on the window, letting moonlight flood our room. 

“Are you okay?” Keigo asks as he rubs his eyes and starts to sit up. I say nothing. Words can’t come out of my mouth; my chest is unbearably tight, and my stomach is in a knot. I feel all the color instantly leave my face.

“Trash can,” I manage to croak out as my dry mouth suddenly fills with saliva. Thankfully, as soon as I heave, a flurry of feathers brings a trash can to sit in front of me on the bed. I grab it quickly and thrust my head into it as I get sick.

“You’re definitely not okay.” Keigo’s worried voice is at my bedside next to me; he must have gotten up. I breathe heavily as I lurch again, and Keigo sits beside me before patting me on the back; I flinch at his touch and retch until there’s nothing left in me. 

“I hate everything,” I cough as I try to catch my breath, water leaking out of my eyes. I spit into the bucket to get the horrible taste out of my mouth. 

“Even me?” Keigo says in a sing-song voice, and I look up briefly to give him an annoyed glance. He hands me a rag, and I snatch it from him, wiping my mouth before setting the trash can and the rag on the other side of my bed. Just in case. 

“Did you have nightmares about your dad again?” Keigo asks, concern in his voice. I shudder and nod, squeezing my eyes shut.

“You should probably be on something for those night terrors and panic attacks. That’s not healthy. You can’t just keep throwing up dinner every other night,” Keigo touches my shoulder, and I shrink away from him.

“My folks wouldn’t care even if they knew,” I mutter as I feel the waves of anxiety and dread flood my body. I start to move to go back to sleep, grappling with the covers, forcing Keigo to get off the bed. 

“Do they not know?” He asks. 

“There’s a lot they don’t know,” I growl, turning my body away as the tears start flowing down my face again. I pass out from pure exhaustion.

…

...

Two hours later, I wake up screaming again, except this time I can’t move. I’m paralyzed with the fear of my dad’s gaze burning into my very soul; I whimper and shake, hating how pathetic Keigo must think I am. 

‘Dad’s right, all I ever do is show weakness.’ I keep my eyes shut, trying to calm my dark thoughts and not jump out the window to end all the pain once and for all. ‘It would be so easy just to hit the ground from how high up we are… the seventh floor….I doubt I’d even feel anything. And then, my family wouldn’t have to bear the burden of me anymore.’ With eerie timing, I feel the paralysis fade away. ‘This is my sign.’ I think to myself as I take a deep breath and prepare to roll out of bed and end my life. Suddenly, I feel a warmth surrounding me, and my body freezes. 

“It’s okay, Toya. He’s not here,” I hear the familiar voice whisper as I open my eyes and see a pair of red wings enclosing me in an embrace. I instantly think to push him away so I can finish what I started when a wave of calm washes over me as the feathers brush my face. They’re very soft and comforting...something I don’t feel very often, if ever. My nightmarish thoughts seemingly melt away as I lean into the wing, allowing my senses to fill with something other than physical pain and emotional numbness. Keigo gingerly drapes his arm over my shoulder, limply pulling me toward him. 

“If you want me to go away I will. I know you don’t really like hugs. But...You looked like you needed one badly,” Keigo’s voice echoes through the silent room. I roughly shake my head as I bite my lip and let my tears flow. This time, it’s a mixture of emotions that sparks them; the normal ones: fear and anguish, but also: peace. I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on the silky feathers and the sound of Keigo’s breathing, my shaking breath slowly calming down to a smooth even pattern. My chest fills with a warm glow that I’m not used to; whatever it is, I know it isn’t my Quirk because it’s the complete opposite of pain.

“Thank you,” I choke out through my tears as I sleep peacefully for the first time in my entire life. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Beginning Of The Third Semester

(First Week of September)

 

I was planning on going home for the weekend, but my heart told me otherwise. My dad could go to Hell for all I cared. This was gonna be the night I confessed. I’d practiced this for weeks by myself in the bathroom mirror, but my nerves were all over the place. This should be easy considering this was the person that made me realize I swung both ways. But, it’s also the first time I’ve ever felt strong enough to do something about my feelings. I don’t think I could handle rejection though. In fact, Keigo was pretty much all I had to live for lately. I don’t think I’d be able to keep on living in this Hell without him.

‘Keigo. I like you. Let’s go out. Simple enough.’ I think to myself as I splash water on my face. On Friday evenings after class, Keigo and I typically played poker by ourselves. Instead of poker chips, we just used chicken nuggets. I’d put on the only nice outfit that I owned; a black, long-sleeved button-up with black slacks. I kept the top two buttons undone so I didn’t look too serious, and I combed my hair so it didn’t look so spazzy. It had almost turned completely white at this point, and the only trace of red remained at my crown. I take a deep breath and head back to our dorm.

...

I grab the handle and take another deep breath, trying to hype myself up.

‘Alright. You got this, Toya. Be smooth. Be cool. You can be charming… Right? Just don’t make a fool of yourself.’ 

However, when I open the door, the lights are off, and Keigo sits on his knees on his bed with the chicken nuggets in a fancy-looking tray instead of lying on the bed like they usually are. He has a candle lit on his nightstand, and, when he realizes I’m inside the room, he seems to freeze up and get nervous. I raise my eyebrow and close the door behind me.

“Where’re the cards?” I ask as I walk over to sit across from him cross-legged on the twin bed. That’s when I noticed that I’m not the only one that cleaned up. Keigo’s normally unkempt hair is neatly brushed, and his feathers even look shinier and more orderly than normal. He’s still wearing his normal black and yellow T-shirt, but it looks brighter, almost like it’s brand new. 

“Um, I thought we could...just eat the nuggs tonight instead. And. Uh. Talk?” Keigo stammers, and I see his face flush. I blink. 

‘There’s no way we had the same idea. There’s no way he actually likes me back.’ 

“Okay?” I say as I move to grab a chicken nugget, only for him to slap my hand away.

“I need to talk to you first.” He blurts out, his voice wavering. He’s trying to maintain eye contact with me, and his feathers start to ruffle. I can see the sweat on his forehead, and a small smile forms on my face. 

‘Oh my God, he DOES like me back!’ 

“Listen, you’re my best friend. And... And, I hope this doesn’t ruin what we have, but, I-” He stumbles over his words as I slide the tray to the side so nothing stands between us. 

‘Fuck it, I’m just gonna go for it.’ I start to close the space between us, but Keigo is oblivious as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to confess.

“What I’m trying to say is: I L-” 

I stop his words short as I kiss him, and he makes a surprised noise before completely relaxing. He kisses me back, making my heart flutter, and, for the first time in my life, reciprocated love washes over me. He starts to lean back onto the pillow, and I move with him, positioning myself so I’m looming over top of him. His wings start flapping, and I laugh as I break the kiss, propping myself up on my elbow and looking down at him with a smirk. He stares up at me with huge eyes, and I laugh again. 

“Warn me next time you’re gonna do that,” He whispers, his face beet red. I’ve never seen him so flustered before, and it makes me grin even more to realize the kind of power I have over him. 

“Okay, here’s your warning,” I say as I lean down and kiss him again. He reaches up and limply puts his hand at the back of my neck, pulling me closer. My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. I’ve never ever felt like this before, but I love it. For once in my entire life, someone cares about me just as much as I care about them. I run my hands through his hair as I breathe him in. He reaches up with his other arm and starts undoing the buttons of my shirt. Before he gets to the last one, I grab his hand tightly and pull away from the kiss.

“We’re not fucking. I want to make that clear,” I say, bluntly. He can’t afford to get too attached to me...just in case. Keigo rolls his eyes and jerks his hands away from my grip before undoing the last button.

“There are other things besides that, hothead,” He whispers as he slides my shirt off. I smirk and lean back down, slipping my tongue in his mouth, making him make another surprised noise; his wings stiffen for a moment. I reach over with my other hand and snuff out the candle, surrounding us in complete darkness. My heart thuds as my tongue dances with his, and I start grinding up against him. The sensation is intoxicating, and I grind rougher as his hands slide up my abs and my chest. My body seems concerned at the random influx of dopamine that is never present, and my entire being is tingly with a warm, positive feeling. I break away from the kiss as we both start breathing heavily; I move to kiss his neck. 

“I love you,” I let the new words drift past my lips without even meaning to say them aloud; I don’t even care if it’s too soon to say them. I can’t help how I feel. My heart swells as I hear him echo my words; I leave dark marks on the side of his neck and start to move further down when he pushes himself up with his wings, knocking me backward on the bed. I blink in surprise and start to push myself up.

“Whoa whoa, wait a second, birdbrain. I’m the one on to-” Keigo kisses me before I can finish my sentence and starts taking my pants off. In a panic, I hold my hand up and let a small ember burn as a warning, causing him to break the kiss. 

“I said no fucking!” I snap, feeling betrayed.

“Relax, Toya. I said there are other things,” His words hang in the air, and he starts trailing kisses from my neck farther and farther down my body. I fall silent as the night air consumes us...

...

...

The next morning, I wake up in my boxers with Keigo fast asleep on my chest. I smile down at him before abruptly realizing that last night was the first night in years that I didn’t have a nightmare or a panic attack. I trace his feathered wing lightly with the tip of my finger, causing him to stir awake. 

“Good morning,” He yawns, stretching and sitting up. A smile creeps across my face before I can hide it, and I tousle his hair. 

“You know we can’t tell anyone about this, right?” I say quietly, and Keigo frowns.

“Well, why not?” He snorts, climbing off of me and getting out of bed to get dressed.

“We just can’t,” I say as I put my finger on the candlewick and ignite it, giving the room a blue hue.

“Too bad. I’m still gonna try to hold your hand, and you can’t stop me.” Keigo laughs. I rub the sleep from my eyes.

“Fine,” I grumble as I climb out of bed. Before I can get my bearings, Keigo hugs me tightly. 

“I knew there was something beneath that tough guy act,” He smiles, and my expression softens. 

“Come on, we gotta get ready for practice. I reserved the training room for this morning,” Keigo says in his sing-song voice as he flaps his wings, lifting himself off the ground. I smile and get dressed before he opens the window. I raise my eyebrow, and he just grins before holding his hand out to me. I tentatively take it, and I cling to him as he sails out the window into the open orange sky, heading toward the training field.