#Like this is some kind of tragicomedy right

[armeniuslaurant]

About 30 minutes into Clouds of Sils Maria, and I'm reframing my viewing of it into a comedy.

[idiopathicsmile]

School Gymnastics: A Tragicomedy

So one day when we were in third grade, our P.E. teacher divided us into girls and boys. (I don’t remember what the boys had to do. Wrestling? Tackle football? I don’t know, probably not at age nine, but that’s not the point. Gladiatorial combat? I still don’t really understand kids’ sports.)

What matters for this story is that all the girls had to do gymnastics. Now—and I suspect this won’t surprise you if you know literally anything about me—I was always terrible at any form of school athletics. I am intensely, almost impressively uncoordinated. This doesn’t affect my life much at 36, but it was often a miserable way to be a kid. The only playground game I liked was playing pretend, because when you are playing pretend, you don’t have a bunch of people ostensibly on your side screaming in your ear, “Pretend faster! Pretend over there! Pretend with greater accuracy!”

Anyway, gymnastics and my clumsy, doughy little body. I couldn’t do a cartwheel. I couldn’t do a backwards somersault. I couldn't do any of it. We had an entire unit on this business and I literally did not learn how to even safely attempt a single move besides the log roll (lie flat and roll sideways on your belly). In retrospect, this seems like maybe it was in part a teaching problem, not a me problem, but that’s actually not the point either.

The point is, at the end of the unit, we were told to divide ourselves into little teams and choreograph a group gymnastics routine. My group, faced with my long list of limitations (more limitation than girl, really) decide my role will be to just forwards-somersault around the rest of the group as they do their moves. (This is itself kind of embarrassing but trust me, it is but the appetizer.) My friend Ashley has the Lion King soundtrack and we all agree that it is a great choice. The movie has only come out a couple of years earlier, and it of course features some funny, peppy options. 'Hakuna Matata'? 'I Just Can't Wait to Be King'? It's all coming together.

Carried on a wave of youthful enthusiasm, none of us even think to double-check which track Ashley has picked. Foreshadowing!

So the day of the performance comes. Another group goes right before us. They had picked “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, which was a huge hit at the time. I mean, it still is because it’s a classic, but then it was big and new. They step onto the mat and immediately begin to do choreographed dance moves, which they have worked into their routine. We had not thought of this. Oops. Dance moves, of course! So they incorporate the necessary gymnastics, it goes over really well, the energy is high, and now it’s my group’s turn.

I take my place at the edge of the mat, the mat we are required to stay on for the length of the piece. Ashley cues up the track she’d chosen.

A song starts up. Instantly, I recognize it from the movie. It is the very slow instrumental music that plays when Simba realizes his dad is dead.

‘Well, this is not optimal,’ I think. I've been on this planet for nine years; I can see that much. But it’s too late to change the track, and so I tell myself, ‘It’s okay. I’m a performer. I can sell this.’ I put on an extremely solemn face and begin to execute a series of the world’s saddest somersaults.

Friends, when I say “sad” I mean it, in every possible sense of the word. Picture a nine year old with the gravest possible affect, determinedly doing somersaults to the slowest, most serious music she can imagine, in a careful ring around her friends who have actually learned any gymnastics whatsoever. Okay, now as the music starts to pick up and get more hopeful, imagine she gets real dizzy and in front of everyone, she rolls all the way directly off the mat, careening dangerously towards the assembled students.

Somehow, I roll myself back onto the mat, we survive what feels like hours of humiliation, we stagger away, and I blessedly avoid adding “puking my guts out in front of all of my peers” to my very short list of gymnastics tricks.

Later, I asked Ashley what in the world possessed her to choose that song.

“It didn’t have any words,” she said.

(There was absolutely no rule against using songs that had lyrics.)

Anyway, that’s why being an adult is better than being a kid.

I may have to do laundry and make my own dinner and wrestle with more complex existential angst, but you know what I haven’t been asked to do in like 26 years? Somersault for three minutes straight to the musical shorthand for “this cartoon lion cub has no choice but to process the weight of unimaginable grief for his dead dad.” And you know what? If I live another 50 years, I can be pretty confident nobody will ask me to do it then, either.

[glitteryinknotes]

There is a level of deep, bitterly poetic and cruel irony in Astarion's death and his eventual fate as a vampire spawn. Laughable, even. Lamentable.

Where do I even begin. I once posted here my thoughts on who Astarion was before Cazador took him; and all my thoughts were based on what we can assume to be canon from scraps on information in - game and interviews with Neil. That Astarion Ancunin who was laid into the ground at Baldur's Gate cementary was a corrupt magistrate, a shining example of power abuse, indulgence, hedony, existence in privilege without any service to the world around.

We also know for a fact that Astarion is not a good person in a moral sense. Again, Neil Newbon himself talked about it. He has capability to grow, mature, open himself up, soak in the positive influence and feel for others, but he never will be the default upstanding type. That is simply not at his core.

This is why (I am aware we're talking a fictional character, headcanon is free to all in whichever way they think it suits and pleases them) I cannot for the world believe in all the fanfiction based on the notion of the tragic, tortured soul unjustly attacked and turned into a vampire, because to me - it misses the entire depth and essence of Astarion's personality and arc. He was not a "worthy" persona before Cazador; in fact, the beating he got from the Gur was well - deserved and the near - death experience... Probably so as well. Maybe if anything, this would open his eyes and force him to reflect at least a bit on his choices in the position he was occupying. (But given that he mentions begging Cazador to turn him to be able to take revenge, I highly doubt that.) So yeah... The man got what was coming to him. He deserved it.

But what he got in the end once Cazador allowed him to drink his blood and had him in his hold? Two hundred years of misery and abuse beyond description, being completely stripped of any identity and personhood? No one deserves that. Such fate should not be thrust upon anyone. Ever.

It is the cruellest, most wicked twist of fate that it took that kind of ordeal to change a corrupt little elf's view of the world and force him to even acknowledge the existence of evil deeds and abuse of power - something I am quite sure he never gave any thought to before. It took being transformed into an utterly helpless victim to make him truly see that there is good and bad and perpetuating the bad leads to pain and misery for the innocents (and you can never be sure if not for you as well), and only then, at his most pathetic, most vulnerable, after centuries of torment, it took meeting, trusting, admiring, being grateful to, befriending / loving and being influenced by a genuinely good and kind person (probably the exact opposite of who he was before) to shake and cause some shift in his inner moral compass, or rather the way he was choosing to use it. The full circle, a poignant, unwilling journey from the one abusing power, to the enslaved puppet of someone with considerably more power abusing it in the most inhuman ways possible, and this time to his own woe, to the one person able to break the abusive cycle given the right influence.

Isn't that simply poetic in the most sickly sense? A tragicomedy, if you will.

Forget about Astarion Ancunin. The grave was good for lovemaking and sharing an important moment, but whoever was laid there was not anyone worthy of your time (just like "Ascended Astarion" )The one who stands by your side now is. Your Astarion. The new Astarion, the same "lovable rogue" with a taste for theatrics, drama, debauchery, beauty, murder mayhem and loose morality, but - a better person all the same.

[follow up post here

https://www.tumblr.com/glitteryinknotes/733162725841289216/a-little-follow-up-to-my-previous-post?source=share]

[grandhotelabyss]

What we really need is a book in the style of Craig Seligman's Sontag and Kael: Opposites Attract Me about Sontag and Paglia.

I thought Deborah Nelson's Tough Enough—which I liked—should have ended with a Paglia chapter. The fact that it didn't, and for what I take to be political reasons, suggests why Paglia has the upper hand in my view: she's not going to be as easily recuperated by the institutions while she's alive. It's hard to imagine Paglia earning the admiration of a consummate professional like Merve Emre. Which is ironic, because Sontag proudly never taught and expressed only bitter contempt for academia while she was alive, while Paglia has faithfully taught for pretty much her whole adult life, if at a wary art-school distance from official academe. (Sontag was good at finding people, even princesses, who would pay her bills; Paglia perhaps not so much, or perhaps, to give her more credit, she regards herself as having a vocation.)

Politically, Sontag was always on the right side of bien-pensance, which I find slightly contemptible; people are allowed to change their minds, but still, if she'd maintained the political views she held in the '60s into the '90s then she would have been on the Michael Parenti side of Yugoslavia (or, conversely, her '90s views in the '60s would have put her on Updike's, Ellison's, and Nabokov's side of Vietnam).

On the other hand, Paglia was and remains too credulous about pop culture, and Sontag's later turn against it—if at times too much in the style of what Kael called the Come Dressed as the Sick Soul of Europe Party—was basically right. Almost her last act on earth was to canonize Bolaño, while Paglia was claiming George Lucas as our greatest living artist.

Paglia's historical scope and emotional register are broader, and for this she'll always have my heart; Sontag couldn't have written a Paterian prose-poem in honor of the bust of Nefertiti or of a Tamara de Lempicka painting. But Sontag probably was more politically sophisticated, and the moral conscience that mortified and tormented her aestheticism created tremendous drama, and for this she will never lose my admiration; Paglia couldn't have issued the prophetic injunctions of Illness as Metaphor or On Photography.

Hilariously but predictably, the moralist Sontag was apparently bad news as a friend, lover, or family member, if gossip and biography are to be believed, while the aesthete Paglia is by all accounts a perfectly kind person in private life.

(When dealing with moralists, you should always bear in mind this line from "The Soul of Man Under Socialism": "One is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted." When dealing with aesthetes, you should always bear in mind Basil Hallward's charge against Lord Henry Wotton: "You never say a moral thing, and you never do a wrong thing.")

Paglia lived one side of the binary dividing them to the full, every inch the diva dancing a step of Apollonian precision even in Dionysian frenzy, whereas Sontag allowed—or couldn't have avoided it if she'd tried—Athens and Jerusalem, never mind Apollo and Dionysus, to go to war inside her mind. In that sense, they're not an equal match. I probably love Paglia more as a writer—that is, I love the spectacle she creates on the page—whereas what I love about Sontag, not that she didn't write many unforgettable sentences, is the exemplary tragicomedy of the life of her mind.

I suppose those are some notes toward the book we need.

[meimi-haneoka]

I am so sorry that I haven't been responding to your articulate and kind answers to my asks. Honestly, my professional as well as personal life in the last month and a half had been a complete mess (it would be more appropriate to call it a tragicomedy at this point) but I had been wrapped up in my exams even though I had tried to keep myself up to date with the announcements. From what I understand, no news of season 2 of CCS CC anime, right? In any case, it does seem that patience would be the best virtue for now. Sigh. On the other hand, I have come across some screenshots of a CCS CC mobile game from a few years back. From what I gathered, it had a scene where Syaoran teases Sakura by saying cheesy romantic stuff in English and then refusing to translate it for her. Lmao. This guy. I am beginning to see shades of Horitsuba's Syaoron and TRC's Li Tsubasa in him. Look at this formerly grumpy little brat being all sly and flirty. Plus I also saw screenshots of elementary school age Syaoran with Fujitaka at the latter's home, presumably discussing archaeology with interest and Sakura serving them sweets and mostly smiling indulgently from a distance. I really want to know the context of this one. Fujitaka and Syaoran's bond was one of my fave in TRC and to watch them in CCS, bonding over archaeology despite the different contexts and origins of this interest in this world would be a joy. You just know that Fujitaka's greatest fanboy is going to be his son in law. (Also, is it just me or is Li Tsubasa more of an anthropologist, like the cultural anthropology kind, than an archaeologist like Syaoran?)

Dear Aubretia, you don't need to apologize! I also don't always feel mentally available, or have time to answer to asks, so I might take some days too! But your comments and asks are always welcome here, whenever you feel like it!! I hope your situation got better in the meantime! 🙏

Yep, April 1st didn't bring any anime S2 news aside from CLAMP confirming in a Space that an announcement might take some more time, but it is surely on the way: now everything is basically left in Kodansha's hands, to make that announcement.

Ohohoh I know very well what you're talking about! The legendary (and defunct) Happiness Memories mobile game! I played that game myself for the one year it lasted, and sometimes I was literally shocked at how pertinent and relevant that game was to the anime (but also manga) storyline...so much that I wondered more than once if Ohkawa wasn't a ghostwriter for it or something... For example, in the game you could play a "photo story" where Akiho practiced with Kaito her introduction for her first day of school at Tomoeda...it was very sweet but I thought it was just "an invention" of the developers of the game... But when the two Drama CDs came out with the Special Edition of volume 7 and 8 of the manga, I was shocked to realize that Ohkawa wrote a line for Akiho where she recounts her first day of school to Kaito, and she says "I was able to greet everyone in Japanese, just like I had been practicing!" <- just like in the game!!! That felt too much of a coincidence (in a CLAMP thing?? coincidences don't exist!!) to me, so I lowkey consider whatever happens in that game "canon"! 😁

I had made some threads on my Twitter account, back then! And I remember I translated some of the content of that SyaoSaku Happiphoto here!!

I also remember the one about Fujitaka and Syaoran, I mentioned it in my Trivia post about all the literary references, because in that photostory Fujitaka mentions a particular book to Syaoran while talking about archeology...but unfortunately I didn't get to play that photostory, so I don't know many details about it!! But yes, I totally agree that Fujitaka's biggest fanboy will be his son in law (and this reminds me we didn't get an interaction between them in Clear Card!! This is totally one of those things they can feature in the anime, though! 😁)

Hmmm for Tsubasa and Syaoran, yes, it might be like you say! And it would make sense because despite one is the clone of the other, they are two different people and had different experiences, even their personality is sliiightly different!

[wellntruly]

M*A*S*H - Viewguide, S9

Are you interested in the long-running anti-war situation tragicomedy M*A*S*H (1972-1983), but there are simply so many asterisks and so many episodes?

Well I can’t help you with the asterisks, but nor can I help myself: I started watching all 11 seasons of M*A*S*H, and bringing back for you my viewing selections, chosen for The Qualities.

— — —

Haha I don’t know, I don’t know! Once again I felt this was kind of a weird one, and yet this time the mood would get odd and I’d be like….well go on then. What’d’ya got.

Here are nine various answers to that question:

M*A*S*H - Season 9 Recommended sequence

9x03 ‘Cementing Relationships’ - Script absolutely curlicue with wordplay, the passionate Italian soldier possibly the funniest patient they’ve had yet, and Klinger turns into Locke from the film Locke---I’m up.

9x04 ‘Father’s Day’ - Margaret’s dad sucks. :( The boys are engaged in trying to eat a side of frozen beef. With visible effort, Charles manages to list out “Hawk,” “Beej,” and “Max,” all before fully awake. These are some of the highlights.

9x10 ‘Operation Friendship’ - It’s called “Operation Friendship.” Do you need more? Alright, Klinger and BJ get injured in some sort of confusing pressure explosion, sending Klinger into schemes (‘course) and BJ into a tense & tender domestic drama with worried to distraction Hawkeye. More? In one scene, Potter is literally directing said domestic drama. More! That’s me asking.

9x11 ‘No Sweat’ - They Were All So Hot meets They Were Up All Night! Bitch you know I love an Aristotelian unity! The whole thing takes place I think between the hours of about 3am and 6am in diverse locations and vibes around camp, while crickets chirp in the dark and everyone is simply SO pants-less.

9x12 ‘Depressing News’ - One thing I always like Very much is when Hawkeye gets kind of unnervingly intent on some grim futile little project against the war. BJ is [spins wheel of BJs]...disinterested! Admittedly Hawkeye says something to him in this that sure pushed me right out of my mind onto the floor.

9x14 ‘Oh, How We Danced’ - Perhaps the most ‘Season 9’ Season 9 episode. Very sweet very sentimental, BJ always in a tiff over something, pristine background comedy acting, also moments like where Charles says with withering poison, “Hunnicutt, gooo hurt yourself,” and it’s like, oh, that’s weirdly extreme!

9x15 ‘Bottoms Up’ - Necessary inclusion for reasons of it's this one and for Margaret having just a terrifically mid-century lesbians plot line with her tall, card-playing nurse friend who is ~hiding a dark secret~

9x17 ‘Bless You, Hawkeye’ - MAYBE if anyone had actually said “Gesundheit” this wouldn’t have gotten this bad, eh!

9x20 ‘The Life You Save’ - Very interesting Charles episode!! And remarkably well-balanced between his troubled story and the dark-comic Army procedure absurdity the rest of the crew is getting up with. It kinda feels like this episode could be the exemplar of what M*A*S*H has most wanted to be in its run. An Alda Production™

Season 1 • Season 2 • Season 3 • Season 4 • Season 5 • Season 6 • Season 7 • Season 8 • Season 9 • To be continued

#M*A*S*H hours

[cityandking]

🧱 😱 ✨ 🐺 for dai, minah and anticlea!

thanks dear!! // prompts I'd like to receive

[ 🧱 ] how would you describe your muses’ morality? what are their core values?

DAI — "nothing is more important than the responsibility my faith confers upon me to help others in need." originally his altruism was structured by the tenets of his faith, but he's come to understand that his altruism is his own and faith is just one way to guide it. with or without pelor, with or without tempus, he wants to help people and do good. he was lawful good when the campaign started, but he's shifted to neutral good over time.

MINAH — minah's morals are a little hard to pin down, tbh. she has a deep-seated lack of trust in any authority or organization, so her morality prioritizes the individual over rule of law. her sense of right and wrong is largely based on her moment-to-moment gut instincts in a situation, but tends to be driven primarily by her desire for personal safety and security (financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.) and secondarily by an impulse towards compassion (she'd really really rather not break any fingers). she meant it when she told cian that there's always unfixible things, and she's not particularly interested in fixing them—she tries to keep out of the big-picture politics and ethics, and she's likewise not planning to cut down on the thieving any time soon—but that doesn't mean she can't tip a busker or talk to a half-blind orphan lordling or offer to save a templar's lover from tranquility (as an interrogation tactic, but hey! still an offer). it's the little touches when you desperately need them that matter most. minah is true neutral.

CLEA — clea lives by the old girl scout law of leaving a place better than you found it. she's lived a long time and values heart and courage and kindness and growth. at the root of everything, she's just a gardener. clea is neutral good.

[ 😱 ] does your muse have any specific fears? where did those fears come from?

DAI — he's afraid of deep water. his first death was pretty traumatic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I rolled a couple times during the kaiju arc against panicking while they were underwater but he kept it together (shout out to that high WIS mod). besides that, he's afraid of failing the people he's supposed to be taking care of, which was always there but really kicked in when Izzy died. a lot of things changed for him when Izzy died.

MINAH — she's got a couple, yeah. she's a lil claustrophobic—she can deal with tight spaces, but she needs to be able to access an exit, otherwise she gets panicked about being trapped. a few escapes have gone badly over the years—crammed in some tiny hidey-hole hoping no one notices her, or not quick enough and ending up arrested—and she's afraid of ending up back in a cell

CLEA — her son's memory haunts her—she dreams about him sometimes, when she's not dreamwalking—but mostly she's just grateful to see him. it's the only way he lives on. she's definitely afraid of foresyhte going to the abyss (and then losing him just like everyone else), which is why he won't be going! problem solved.

[ ✨ ] what aesthetics or symbols do you reference when writing your muse? are these backed up by canon, if your muse comes from a canon? is there any specific relevance to these choices?

DAI — shields, the sun, wings, light. wounds/sickness come up pretty often, which makes sense because he's a healer (but *cocks gun*). lava, recently :)

MINAH — I associate her with the tragicomedy masks, and also songbirds. molten gold, a bit. silks (the aerial kind, mostly, but also costumes). the theater, of course. and nomadism—living on the road, horses and caravans, that sort of thing.

CLEA — old trees, shrikes, white winter foxes, snow. furs and beads and silver jewelry. weeping willows and labyrinths and tea and bright embroidery. the way sunlight feels through the trees on a cool day in early spring, a touch of warmth after a long winter.

[ 🐺 ] does your muse like solitude? do they prefer it to being around others? how easily does your muse get lonely?

DAI — definitely (desperately) needs his alone time. he's a true introvert; no matter how much he likes hanging out he simply Has to find some quiet time to rest and recharge. the trip through the storm where they were all crammed together in the tiny hut was one of the worst experiences of his life and he's literally in the abyss right now. he doesn't get lonely easily, in part because he's always had pelor with him—the loneliest he's ever felt, I think, is when his faith was in tatters and he didn't know where to turn.

MINAH — minah likes a little private time to take the mask(s) off, but she gets antsy if she's on her own for too long. even if she's not entertaining, she likes to be in a group—she's an extrovert

CLEA — she gets lonely really easily, actually. back home she was part of a big community, and then when she left she was constantly meeting new people, going new places, traveling with her party. being in selto is nice—she likes the city and she's got friends and plenty to keep her busy—but she never lived alone before. she has a tendency to talk to the plants (and the neighbors) when she's undersocialized. she really does wish forsyhte would visit more often.

[mischiefpaw]

hiya!

hey i dont know how many people still follow me but i figured i should give an update on what i’ve been up to through all this radio silence.

TL;DR i was artblocked and still am but i’m making a webcomic! more details below.

as you can probably tell, i fell into a pretty bad art slump over the past couple years. i haven’t been happy with or felt able to finish pieces for a while, which was made worse by losing interest in most fandoms i’ve made art for in the past. it’s not that i don’t like them anymore or will never ever draw from them again (sorry to the people who followed me for warrior cats though i think i’m through with that), my interests have just changed LMAO. While things have improved on the slump front, I’m still kind of artblocked and relearning how to work through it. That’s not gonna go away immediately, but i’m determined to get through it and get back to posting art of things i love!

As for what my interests have shifted to... for the past year i’ve been writing a webcomic called Ad Terra! Ad Terra follows a struggling professional gamer stranded in an apocalyptic world by supernatural forces, and his bitter rival. While both seek to find their former teammates, old grudges and clashing personalities make things much, much harder than they have to be in this tragicomedy about grief, the glory days, and zombies. 

If that sounds like something you want to know more about, shoot me an ask! I have so so so much to talk about when it comes to these characters and while I won’t spoil too much, i’d love to let you guys get to know the setting and characters.

As for progress on the comic itself, I’m currently in the scripting phase. I’m expecting that the first chapter will be posted in late 2023/early 2024-- which seems like a long time, but I’ve got some secret comic-related projects up my sleeve that’ll be worth the wait ;) For right now, you can follow @adterra​ on tumblr for updates when they come. I’m super excited to share the story with you guys when it’s ready!

(quick sketches of our protagonists!)

Onto actually talking about art! I have been drawing, but most of it is unfinished doodles I haven’t felt like posting. As I said before, finished pieces probably aren't gonna turn up for a bit, but I’m going to try and get into the habit of posting more sketches and studies (more as a form of accountability to show myself that i actually have been doing stuff than anything else, but also bc i love seeing other people’s sketchy studies myself!)

thanks for reading love you all mwah happy holidays

[smokeybrandreviews]

Saturnalia

I didn’t expect to update on Azur Lane so soon but i kind of had to. There is a rerun Sardegna Empire event and i absolutely had to participate. My current quest is, in fact, the Ruskies but it’s hard to ignore the Italian faction considering they’re kind of my fourth favorite dock, after the KMS, IJN, and SN. I actually cleaned up during the last Itai event a while ago, doubling the amount of ships i had in that dock. Aquilifer's Ballade went a long way to my overall Fleet health, giving me a ton of experience and blueprints to finish out my then developing Kraut dock. Plus, i mean, Roma is a thing and i needed to own her so, you know, in for a penny, in for a pound. I ended up added all six of those Aquilifer’s ships to my dock so there is incentive to continue. So far, i have eighteen of the twenty-five available Sardegna ships and i kind of feel like i should go for the rest? I mean, i missed one of the reruns, Empyreal Tragicomedy, so i don’t know how feasible that would be. But, at the same time, i did roll Pola, Zara, and Littorio on random Banners so, maybe? At the very least, i didn’t let this particular rerun of Daedalian Hymn pass me by.

Not gonna lie, this sh*t was costly. This Banner dipped into my pockets heavy. I did not have the Gacha touch this time around. I am a little perturbed about that but, i mean, i rolled all of the available ships. I was looking to pop Aquila, and kind of only Aquila, but she didn’t drop until, like, three days into the event. I had secured every other ship available at that point; Vittorio Veneto, Libeccio, Maestrale, and multiple Nicoloso da Recco, so i was kind of frustrated. I was down under a hundred Wisdom Cubes, something i never do, but finally, Aquila popped. It was bittersweet because i ran through, like, two hundred Cubes to make this happen. Torricelli and Duca degli Abruzzi were a given due to the fact they’re both basically Point awards but getting to those Banner girls was f*cked up. Like, I'm not mad but i am definitely disappointed. Sh*t taxed my pockets more than chasing literally every Ultra Rare ship i own, and the Itais don’t even have a goddamn UR ship to their name! The f*ck? All that said, Vittorio Veneto's costume, The Flower of La Spezia, is top tier cheesecake, man. Live 2D never looked so good!

It’s nuts to think i spent all those resources and time on the grind, for, at best, a tertiary priority. Right now, my focus is on my Northern Parliament dock because those boats are gorgeous. I love their look, with all of the ice and dragon-like artillery. They have a very Iron Blood feel to them and we all know how much i love my Krauts. That said, not much has changed with my current grind. I mean, i was able to get Chapayev and Sovetskya to level 120, with Avrora bringing up the rear at 119. Every ship in my dock, right now, is fully Limit Broken, and I'm slowly, but steadily, leveling up their skills. It’s been a while since I've had such a tall order to fill. It took, what? Two years or so to max out my KMS dock? I imagine it will take much less time to top off my SN Fleet, however. I mean, they have, like, a third of the Iron Blood ships. I already have nineteen of the twenty-three. Literally only missing the boats from Kronshtadt’s event, Abyssal Refrain, and that has yet to have a rerun so I'm feeling pretty good there. I was able to construct Chkalov and have been on the grind to get her completed but that leaves me at a loss. I've be grinding out Hakuryuu blueprints with every intention of Constructing her next but, now that I have such a strong stake in my Sardegna dock, maybe I should go for Marco Polo? I dunno. Something to ponder, I guess? Also, I'm missing Tashkent for some reason because i have the rest of the ships from her event. It’s whatever, though. She can be my Ruskie version of U-110; The ever illusive ship i missed that may or may not bless my dock through unforeseen circumstances. Wishing well, I'm looking at you!

[everythingkashmir]

Education Experiment

When common sense took a holiday

By Faisul Yaseen

What can only be described as an absurd experiment in bureaucratic stubbornness, Kashmir has been put through a rather strange adjustment in the academic calendar.

The shift, like most of the political diktats descending from Delhi, was executed without so much as a courteous nod to the people whom it hurts the most: students, teachers, school administrators, and even parents. It is as if education mandarins have decided to play a game with Kashmir’s future because why not? It seems our bureaucracy has found a new playground and our students are the fresh batch of lab rats.

For years, the educational schedule of Kashmir possessed a simple logical rhythm. Then would come the exams in October and November, just when the dreaded winter was going to set in. Now, however, thanks to the brainwave of the genius policymakers and the intellectual bureaucracy of Kashmir, our students wait a whole five months – yes, five months - till March or April to appear for their exams.

That is where the tragicomedy begins. Instead of such winter months spent in preparing for the next academic year, students wait for exams that won’t come.

The previous October-November session used to allow the students to make use of the winter break by spring-time. But those days are behind us now. Now, students who, from December to February, wait for hours rather than laying solid foundations for their following courses are simply condemned to a monotonous limbo. The long winter break which acted as a breather before new academic beginnings has now become a drawn-out purgatory of waiting.

And all for what? For an education policy that imagines Kashmir in some manner as some kind of singular experimental case. Just imagine the Kashmiri students – poor guinea pigs running on some bureaucratic treadmill, uncertain about what they are running toward. Let us see what happens, the policymakers shout with gleeful shrugs, tweaking here, pulling lever there, as if the futures of our students were something they could just tinker with.

Worse, no one in charge bothered to ask the stakeholders: not the schools, not the teachers, not the parents, and certainly not the students directly affected by this outrageous disruption. But then again, when has consulting actual experts or involving the public ever been part of the grand political blueprint for Kashmir?

If it weren’t tragic, it might have been funny. One could even call it an incredible farce. In the name of modernisation and streamlining Kashmir, this move was orchestrated, which quite ironically, left out all the specific geography of the place, its harsh winters, and the academic world that had developed over the years. Apparently, our climatic changes, schooling culture, and common sense are not nearly as important as those pragmatic goals of appeasing some arbitrary, countrywide educational checklist.

But wait-there is a faint glimmer of hope on the horizon! Here, Minister for Education Sakina Itoo hinted at the possibility of returning to the original schedule that existed at the academically flawless October-November schedule. Yes, you have it right. The same old schedule that had worked seamlessly for years till it was shattered in the name of reform. An irony of welcome is that the government is finally coming around to realising that maybe, just maybe, the system as it was wasn’t so broken after all.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if, before rushing to implement drastic changes, policymakers took the time to consider local realities? If only they respected the voices of those who actually understand the implications – teachers, parents, educational analysts? But no. Instead, we have become the reluctant subjects of a far-reaching experiment in educational engineering that feels more like a cruel joke at our expense.

Meanwhile, the Kashmiri students pay the price of these lab experiments – months lost and valuable learning time flushed down the drains, all while politicians and bureaucrats sit in their air-conditioned offices, blissfully disconnected from the realities of the ground in Kashmir. One can only hope this latest flirtation with reforms is corrected sooner than later – before another academic year is lost to the whims of political gamesmanship.

But hey, why stop at education? Kashmir could make a wonderful lab for more innovative policies, right? What’s next – shifting the summer to winter? Ending weekends? Whatever the case may be, here in Kashmir, we have learned to expect the unexpected.

Greater Kashmir

[ilopisara]

18.05. 21:44 | Ilo Pisara vs Savon Seula 4 - 0

Alright, folks, gather 'round! Let's talk about the latest masterpiece on ice. Ilo Pisara just handed Savon Seula a 4-0 spanking so bad they might need therapy. First off, let's give it up for Teppo Winnipeg—our puck-moving defenseman who was smoother than buttered toast out there. One goal and two assists? The guy's practically writing his own Hall of Fame speech already! Sami Noddy decided to channel his inner sniper with two goals from three shots. That's right; he didn't miss once! If only my exes had that kind of accuracy... Yuri Tarde played like a maestro at center with one goal and an assist while winning 75% of faceoffs. He’s got more control over the puck than I have over my morning coffee addiction. And Jani Saari in net? Three saves on three shots—a perfect game! It's like trying to score against Fort Knox when he's between the pipes. But let’s not forget: Savon Seula didn’t even finish the game properly. They chickened out faster than a vegan at KFC! Seriously, if you can't handle losing gracefully, maybe take up knitting or something less competitive? Looking back at our recent games—yeah, we’ve had some ups and downs—but this win is sweeter than grandma's apple pie after those close calls against Akaan Risukiekko and SAAHANAT. So buckle up boys; it's onward Ilo Pisara—or back into tragicomedy territory—you decide! Onward we go!

[aeoki]

SS Finals - Everyday: Chapter 6

Location: ES Training Room Characters: Wataru & Gatekeeper

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< At that time. ES training room. >

Wataru: (...Hmm?)

(This won’t do! It seems everything has gone awry!)

(Things have been quite stable for us “fine” and we didn’t encounter any big incidents or troubles, so little issues can stand right out!)

(Well, I suppose I did foresee this but…)

(Why does my heart slightly hurt? I see I had a heart all along!)

(I would be overjoyed to act as any despicable villain on stage, though!)

(Ahh, ahh… This really won’t do.)

(My craft has become dull. But I’m not skilled to the point where I can turn every tragicomedy that happens in life into sustenance for my craft – Which means I still have yet to attain perfection.)

(I should be reflecting on myself – how unsightly. Or perhaps this means that I still have space to grow.)

(To live or to die! That is the question! Amazing!)

“Gatekeeper”: …You seem to be having a jolly good time talking to yourself.

Wataru: Oh? What an unexpected guest!

But a very welcome one all the same! Welcome to my castle! The one who plays a major supporting role, Mr Doorman and Anzu-san ♪

It’s been quite a while, has it not? Have you gained some weight? Or is that quite rude to say to a lady?

Or is it considered even more rude to treat those of different genders differently? What do you think?

“Gatekeeper”: Stop being so pushy. I’m not young enough to keep up with you brats.

Wataru: Why, then I must apologise! It’s quite an emotional reunion for Anzu-san and I, though!

She has been separated from us all like a “captive princess”, but I’m glad to see she’s doing better than expected!

“Gatekeeper”: Hmph. That is we agreed on, so I’ve been “protecting” her courteously. Besides, the meals I fed her every single day would be more than enough for her to put on weight.

Wataru: But even so! A prisoner is a prisoner no matter how well they’re treated! Oh, poor Anzu-san! Come into my arms!

Hm? What’s this, Anzu-san? Is it a love letter? How touching!

…Hmm? Future producing plans for “fine”?

Ohh, it’s written in detail about how each member should be produced!

Hehehe. I see you’ve used your time well, Anzu-san ♪ After all, you’re the “producer” we all love and respect!

“Gatekeeper”: That’s right. Didn’t know she took her work that seriously. Didn’t know that she’d be working on her days off, either. You’re gonna die early, you know that?

She used the money I gave her to live the best kind of life in good health, and gathered information using all sorts of methods to come up with the producing details for the ES idols.

She even used my money to buy the equipment and materials that would be necessary for the future as well. Can’t tell if she’s just stubborn or unfaithful – I can’t even get angry at this point.

Wataru: Hehehe. I think I have a good idea as to what your goal is, seeing as you didn’t ban her from doing that.

You’re not trying to give us a hard time at all, are you, Mr Doorman? ♪

“Gatekeeper”: Don’t call me that. That’s just a nickname my boss gave me. Hearing that name makes me feel unpleasant – It feels like my memories have been tainted.

Just call me “Gatekeeper”.

Wataru: That’s not your real name, either, is it? Are you also someone who feels more like themselves with a mask on? We’re two peas in a pod!

“Gatekeeper”: All adults are like that. Doesn’t matter if you’re a director, manager or the prime minister – What’s important is the title you have and nothing else.

You only use your private parts when you’re making a child.

Besides, I’m a eunuch. That sort of “opportunity” is unthinkable – I’m perfectly fine being “Gatekeeper”.

Wataru: You’re nuts! I like that! It’s rare to meet such meticulous people, after all!

“Gatekeeper”: Hmph. If everyone acts robotic like me, then human society would have already reached its peak a long time ago.

But it’s rather difficult for it to turn out that way – How aggravating.

As I thought, consistent unity and control administered by a superior existence like my boss was necessary.

Wataru: Err, did you come here to complain?

I do like people who pay attention to me, so I don’t particularly mind. But you don’t have the time for that, do you?

“Gatekeeper”: Hmph. Yeah, the finale is here. These past two months definitely felt like a long time.

But it’s still too early to let my guard down – You don’t want to slip up at the very end, after all… I’ll do everything I can.

“fine”. I’ll be troubling you, but I’ll be leaving Anzu in your hands.

I promised to take care of her until the end of the Qualifying Rounds, after all. Now, I’m returning her to you.

As you can see, she’s full of enthusiasm and is itching to produce you idols.

But things are bound to take an irritating turn if she does something careless.

You lot will control her. 

No. I’ll intentionally put it this way: You lot will be the ones to protect her.

Wataru: Of course. But why us?

“Gatekeeper”: That’s because you’d have no issues controlling her without going crazy. Tenshouin tends to take the reasonable approach in general, for better or worse.

He’s not planning on using his secret weapon anytime soon. That’s the sort of person you’d want to hold the controller to your ultimate weapon.

Wataru: Well, Eichi does get emotional sometimes, you know?

He looks like he understands everything at a deeper level, but he surprisingly cannot see the things that are right in front of him!

“Gatekeeper”: Yeah. I told you and him to appear “that way” in the meantime. Thanks to that, he shouldn’t be anywhere close to the truth at this point in time.

Wataru: Indeed. It was unexpected to see Eichi so upset just because I suddenly disappeared! I did think that would be nice if it happened, though!

“SANCTUARY” was quite fun in that aspect – in a variety of aspects, actually…♪

I was happy to see Eichi’s different expressions! Although, I did feel a bit bad manipulating him like that ♪

“Gatekeeper”: That’s why the “order” and “secret order” exists – Just blame it on me.

Wataru: You got the short end of the stick as well, hm?

“Gatekeeper”: I did. It’s natural you lot don’t know, but I’ve been playing the part of the villain for a long time.

It’s what I wished for so I’ll carry out this mission I received from my boss with joy.

I’ll accept all of the filth – I won’t even let one ounce of it get inside the gate.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[piduai]

Literally been months since I said I would watch mr vengeance since I watched lady vengeance and old boy thanks to you .

And I finally did it. I really appreciate the end, I feel like it's a "rightful" one. But I hated the women depictions as usual. The scene when the sister is agonising in pain and those pornsick ppl think it's a woman having "pleasure" is a good portrayal of what is expected of a woman in bed. It's very bizarre that men expect women to moan like this and they take pleasure from that.

Actually I don't know if it was intentional and Park wanted us to understand this ?! I don't know all I know is that I hated it.

A movie role is to make you feel so a win is a win.

Also i didn't like the sister suicide ? She could just wait one week and do the operation and help her brother if she felt like a burden. It's really stupid, sorry but I got mad at her.

And the long arm killer ?? It is an hallucinations , he is supposed to be an allegorical apparition ?! Honestly like everyone else I don't care about him but he needed to join the water too !

It's a good controversial movie. I like how it make us think about it even after watching it . The day after while doing dishes I was reviewing some scenes. An interesting watch.

I don't remember but if I'm correct you said it was the weakest of the three , I agree with this too.

Anyway thank you , hope you are safe with your cat. idk how far you are from the earthquake.

I don't believe also in new year , days are just days but whatever happy new year to both of you.

i think that if we're to extend a lot of grace to that scene it could be interpreted as "men masturbating to women's suffering" in a literal sense, she is moaning out of pain and they are deriving pleasure out of it. or something. idk it's been years since i watched mr vengeance, i keep meaning to rewatch it but never get to it. but i hated that scene too regardless of whether it was intended as a critique of male depravity, could have done without it either way imo

as for the sister suicide i disagree, this story is sort of an absurd tragicomedy with no winners so you can't expect the characters to be reasonable and niceys, otherwise the plot wouldn't move. she was my favorite.

it's oldboy i consider the weakest of the trilogy, mr vengeance used to be my favorite for a long time but then got overturned by lady vengeance. i think it's a movie that is supposed to make you feel exasperated and frustrated, it's filled to the brim with unfairness and ridiculous happenings, most acting characters are both perpetrators and justified victims, but it has a very resonant continuity to it all. i find all of these aspects very charming. when i first watched it it also made me feel conflicted, so i like it a lot.

i'm far from the earthquake so have been unaffected. thank you, and happy new year to you too! i hope it's kind to all of us.

[krockat]

absolutely gorge.

for a person who's been kind of drifted off from cool movies their whole life and is like, learning how to find things to watch that isn't centered at youths

(two of my most fave shows are steven universe and shera spop (and also russian doll, good omens and the boys but i haven't finished those yet so they don't count),

and has the task of recommending cool-fish whimsical weirdo movies and creations to a newly formed norm critical film group that me and a buncha disabled nerds are watching at our non-work-cause-we-cant-work-cause-we-v-disabled-workplace... :

does anyone have any recommendations on where to find films like this, or films to discuss, in such a group? or recommendations for specific films or media

(especially the watchable kind - one one can put on an old projector that's kinda shitty because we have not gotten the funding from our workplace (that's not actually a workplace, the corpos and govvies just want us to call it that. a lot of us going there call it dagis tho (informal slang for kindergarten)) to really gust this shit up yet)!

we are a bunch of funky polyminority queers and blooming cis+ers who all are into weird shit. but they (and me aswell, to a certain level, its just i know more than many of them on things like these) have not yet unlocked our potential for weird and norm critical/aware fully.

i think if this group goes well, we can motherfucker unlimited a Whole lot of people, honestly.

so yes, i am looking to make these all fuckers bloom out even more.

here are some movies i am going to suggest to our viewing, so you may know what we already got ahead:

- but i'm a cheerleader!

- everything everywhere at the end of time

- John waters movies and medias, esp those with divine (but i have not seen any yet, so if any of you have specific recs i would Love them)

- epsilon (i think?) - this one swedish short film that was a part of the yearly swedish film festival sometime between 2015-2020 that i can Not for the life of me find any even trace of online.

pretty sure it was called epsilon and it was about a brain that was being used in science experiments, that didn't realize it was just a brain, and a psychic one at that -

and the owner of the brain had donated it to science and had written away the right to have the ability to take away consent after they (the swedish scientist institute) had acquired the brain.

so they (the scientists) keep deleting its memory every time it gets 'too feisty' (tries to escape or attack the people abusing it for science).

it had one kind of notable swedish white older woman actor in it, but i can Not find her through imdb searches as i do not remember her or any works she has done. i tried searching through old women actors there but could Not.

- liv strömquist tänker på dig!

i am having hard time finding it online.

there was a recording made by SVT (Sveriges Television) of this Swedish theatre divising production, which is based on Liv Strömquist's feminist tragicomedy comic book also called Liv Strömquist Tänker På Dig! (Liv Strömquist Is Thinking About You!) - and i went to it live aswell Two times - and it was amazing, and i even got a script from (i think it was, retroactively) the director herself as i showed my huge nerdiness about it - and i foolishly never saved my own RIP of the recording of it!!)

- clue (tim curry etc version)

- derry girls (a few eps?)

we have watched, so far:

- dating amber (nice, we watched it in two parts. the first 3 meetings we had to setup the tech thing and the weird room we borrowed from the nearby building, dirty dusty room that was part of some old nearly empty office buildings, that was like a time capsule from the 70s. really funny to explore, super abandoned vibes and like it was left in a hurry with crap thrown places and sensitive documents, and broken and Untaken care of.

an old drink-yoghurt bottle that they stopped making like nearly 10 years ago stood in the projection hall that with old ass dusty ass tech sat. we nerded out REAL HARD y'all. also seems haunted by the past. also one time we heard a weird sound, and one of the friends there gathered it was an elevator alarm, cause she knows the sound as she lived in places with bad elavtors. and i was like. we should probably look to see if anyvody needs our help, but where tf is that elevator even, because it wasn't the regular elevators we use? so we find the elevator (in a room we didn't realize was there because we had explored it before and not seen that whole part.) and we pressed the button to see if it would help. and after a pretty long time (for an elevator, but not too long if it was a broken elevator) the elevator moved to our floor and there was a man there looking really confused. the door was bolted so we would have to unbolt it to open it. He didn't really say anything at first even after I said hey, so I asked 'are you okay? do you need help' and he was like 'no i am not okay, i am stuck in here, but there's people down there who are saying they can help me' so he went down and after he started going I was like. okay we'll press it again and if he's still in there we have unbolted the door so he can get out. but when we pressed it back he was gone.

anyway one of the friends got real scared and spooked out by that whole ordeal and honestly the place to begin with haha. but she was the one who showed up the next time to watch the second part of dating amber, and me (apart from our coach) , cause the other two were sickomoding.)

and are gonna watch:

- rocky horror picture show, next monday!

we are going eat snacks and dress extra camp for it, cause we wanted to also have it more like a viewing of the original cult movie watchings, and like some places still do?

yanno with the singing along and the throwing popcorn and that kinda hullabaloo?

but we just didn't have time to prepare all that for this one (we are all burnt out/are recovering, even our coach/leader is lol). so this is our pre!

oh yea this is a huge long comment where i just kinda had time to write down all this for the first time! longer than i anticipated, but i am gonna let myself be long for this one.

Woman of the Seventies

[smokeybrand]

Saturnalia

I didn’t expect to update on Azur Lane so soon but i kind of had to. There is a rerun Sardegna Empire event and i absolutely had to participate. My current quest is, in fact, the Ruskies but it’s hard to ignore the Italian faction considering they’re kind of my fourth favorite dock, after the KMS, IJN, and SN. I actually cleaned up during the last Itai event a while ago, doubling the amount of ships i had in that dock. Aquilifer's Ballade went a long way to my overall Fleet health, giving me a ton of experience and blueprints to finish out my then developing Kraut dock. Plus, i mean, Roma is a thing and i needed to own her so, you know, in for a penny, in for a pound. I ended up added all six of those Aquilifer’s ships to my dock so there is incentive to continue. So far, i have eighteen of the twenty-five available Sardegna ships and i kind of feel like i should go for the rest? I mean, i missed one of the reruns, Empyreal Tragicomedy, so i don’t know how feasible that would be. But, at the same time, i did roll Pola, Zara, and Littorio on random Banners so, maybe? At the very least, i didn’t let this particular rerun of Daedalian Hymn pass me by.

Not gonna lie, this sh*t was costly. This Banner dipped into my pockets heavy. I did not have the Gacha touch this time around. I am a little perturbed about that but, i mean, i rolled all of the available ships. I was looking to pop Aquila, and kind of only Aquila, but she didn’t drop until, like, three days into the event. I had secured every other ship available at that point; Vittorio Veneto, Libeccio, Maestrale, and multiple Nicoloso da Recco, so i was kind of frustrated. I was down under a hundred Wisdom Cubes, something i never do, but finally, Aquila popped. It was bittersweet because i ran through, like, two hundred Cubes to make this happen. Torricelli and Duca degli Abruzzi were a given due to the fact they’re both basically Point awards but getting to those Banner girls was f*cked up. Like, I'm not mad but i am definitely disappointed. Sh*t taxed my pockets more than chasing literally every Ultra Rare ship i own, and the Itais don’t even have a goddamn UR ship to their name! The f*ck? All that said, Vittorio Veneto's costume, The Flower of La Spezia, is top tier cheesecake, man. Live 2D never looked so good!

It’s nuts to think i spent all those resources and time on the grind, for, at best, a tertiary priority. Right now, my focus is on my Northern Parliament dock because those boats are gorgeous. I love their look, with all of the ice and dragon-like artillery. They have a very Iron Blood feel to them and we all know how much i love my Krauts. That said, not much has changed with my current grind. I mean, i was able to get Chapayev and Sovetskya to level 120, with Avrora bringing up the rear at 119. Every ship in my dock, right now, is fully Limit Broken, and I'm slowly, but steadily, leveling up their skills. It’s been a while since I've had such a tall order to fill. It took, what? Two years or so to max out my KMS dock? I imagine it will take much less time to top off my SN Fleet, however. I mean, they have, like, a third of the Iron Blood ships. I already have nineteen of the twenty-three. Literally only missing the boats from Kronshtadt’s event, Abyssal Refrain, and that has yet to have a rerun so I'm feeling pretty good there. I was able to construct Chkalov and have been on the grind to get her completed but that leaves me at a loss. I've be grinding out Hakuryuu blueprints with every intention of Constructing her next but, now that I have such a strong stake in my Sardegna dock, maybe I should go for Marco Polo? I dunno. Something to ponder, I guess? Also, I'm missing Tashkent for some reason because i have the rest of the ships from her event. It’s whatever, though. She can be my Ruskie version of U-110; The ever illusive ship i missed that may or may not bless my dock through unforeseen circumstances. Wishing well, I'm looking at you!

[oneohtrixpointalwaysunderscore]

I'm not Gay! a Christmas Tragicomedy

Content warning: Contains ableist and racist slurs, and LGBTQ slurs (those don't count to me anymore oops)

Chris Maggason was just a normal straight guy. 23 years old. Loved a brewski and a shmashter over the head, always broke cans on his forehead and called the scars tattoos. But his really big secret (except for the nights he cried and then blacked out, in that order) was that he had never had sex before. He barely even masturbated; he was a good Christian boy, but some of his fantasies were worse than dark.

It was Christmas, 2022 didn’t feel right even though the liberals got over their cough-phobia real quick. Fucking faggot libs always lay down and take it. Anyway…

Faggots in masks. I hate faggots. Every signal one. Every one, they them shit is gay and retarded. Rarded even. It’s so easy to make up new eppy-thets for these new faggots. I even beat a few up, they went down like balloons at a holocaust shaped meataphor store.

Anyway…

uhhh so…. uhhhh

Regardless, when Chris met his mom’s new family friend that night he was a little intimidated. Ogunde seemed to unfold like origami through the house; 7 and a half feet tall (more in African Measuring) he had to duck the family mantle and even brushed the mistletoe by mistake.

“Oops!” He said, a big smile plastered over his face. “Don’t worry, I brought a watahmelon,”

*author’s note, that’s actually how he said it! I’m not Chris, I’m not actually racist or fascist!*

Chris’s mom quickly explained that she met Ogi-san at the local YWCA. She/he had quite the story, born in Japan, then relocated to the U.S. to pursue his god given basketball vocation. Struggling with a few antiquated policing practices, but otherwise understanding the vibe. s/He’d been shot at as a kid, japanese kids can be a little mean to outsiders, always playing gang. After one of their heads mysteriously went through a glass backboard they never fucked with him again… besides, she was her at that point: Kawaii desu!

Chris hated to admit (inside his dense, rock-like mind) that he was more than a little scared of this guy. I mean you could see his sock in his gymshorts if you know what I’m (he’s) saying. I’m saying I’d fuck this dude but yaknow. gotta keep the alcohol flowing or I forget that I’m still funny. Sad face emoticon. 

Anyway….

Uhhhh….

*****

By the end of the night Chris had been won over though! Even a N*E*G*R*O000let’sgobarndon69 with a good attitude can be let into the house, or some kind of autistic way of settling that horrible horrible sentence. Sponsored by Jim Crow Whiskey!

They drank whiskey, coke, loaded eggnog, even broke out the old century egg.

“Looks good to me!” Ogunde said, beaming. He even pantomimed eating it before mommy snatched it out of his big, big hands. A milky streak over his big, black, coffee colored, color theoried cup of black dark dark primitive coffee, 69 degrees hot (h4wt)

That night, Chris was tumbling into a pre-sleep paralysis nap when his eyes snapped open. There was the demon hovering over him; but it felt more real than ever before.

21savage gay

```1 aids adis adidas double bongo 

Kiowa died for a reason. Norman Bowker died by his own hands. Enough said aabout the lost warriors

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Its mouth open, rotting ants piling out its black tongue.

“MY BOY,” The voice cried, howling. “I KNOW WHAT YOU CRAVE. I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED> IT IS LOVE THAT WILL SAVE YOU,”

Chris would’ve punched the thing in the face but his body was frozen with fear. He evacuated his bowels instantaneously, and lying in his own fear and worship of his christian protector he saw the demon’s eyes open for the first time.

“GUNDIE,” He barked, suddenly finding his voice again. He screamed a series of expletives that would russle the feathers of even the oldest most respected Black Christian Housewives (Candace Owens, easy flex_)ANYONYMOUS>

A hand over the mouth. 

“SHHHHH…” Ogunde mouthed. Chris’s mouthless scream, hopeless at the man grabbing his cock. He even thought he liked it. He wanted to think he liked it. Each finger entering his tender anus, it would’ve felt good with lube. The monster was rooting around inside him, pulling blood and rearranging the cavities by bare strength alone. “My family, my land, my self. Was raped by your people. There is no god that can save you from me. I will take what is mine,”

A twist, and then Chris’s testicles were no longer functional. He watched them disappear down the throat of this 8 foot tall black demon. It was so strange and impossible to be loved by this creature, begging for sweet release. In missionary, begging christ or anyone to save him as he became rearranged perfectly by this storm of force.

Each piece inverted. Hell, the guy had little cuticle scissors. Better than any licensed surgeon. The boy’s new vagina was stitched back together.

Chris didn’t last long. Woke up in a hospital, his brain and body completely inverted. The family figured out he’d taken a stumble down the stairs, trying to hit the latest 4am bars as usual. He must’ve gotten into a fight with some sicko who castrated him. Emasculated completely. 

He tried to live as a woman for a while. It didn’t work. It was not his choice to regret. 

Only a shotgun provided the end that would save him. In heaven or hell, Chris didn’t die a virgin.

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