#Like this is some kind of tragicomedy right

[armeniuslaurant]

About 30 minutes into Clouds of Sils Maria, and I'm reframing my viewing of it into a comedy.

[idiopathicsmile]

School Gymnastics: A Tragicomedy

So one day when we were in third grade, our P.E. teacher divided us into girls and boys. (I don’t remember what the boys had to do. Wrestling? Tackle football? I don’t know, probably not at age nine, but that’s not the point. Gladiatorial combat? I still don’t really understand kids’ sports.)

What matters for this story is that all the girls had to do gymnastics. Now—and I suspect this won’t surprise you if you know literally anything about me—I was always terrible at any form of school athletics. I am intensely, almost impressively uncoordinated. This doesn’t affect my life much at 36, but it was often a miserable way to be a kid. The only playground game I liked was playing pretend, because when you are playing pretend, you don’t have a bunch of people ostensibly on your side screaming in your ear, “Pretend faster! Pretend over there! Pretend with greater accuracy!”

Anyway, gymnastics and my clumsy, doughy little body. I couldn’t do a cartwheel. I couldn’t do a backwards somersault. I couldn't do any of it. We had an entire unit on this business and I literally did not learn how to even safely attempt a single move besides the log roll (lie flat and roll sideways on your belly). In retrospect, this seems like maybe it was in part a teaching problem, not a me problem, but that’s actually not the point either.

The point is, at the end of the unit, we were told to divide ourselves into little teams and choreograph a group gymnastics routine. My group, faced with my long list of limitations (more limitation than girl, really) decide my role will be to just forwards-somersault around the rest of the group as they do their moves. (This is itself kind of embarrassing but trust me, it is but the appetizer.) My friend Ashley has the Lion King soundtrack and we all agree that it is a great choice. The movie has only come out a couple of years earlier, and it of course features some funny, peppy options. 'Hakuna Matata'? 'I Just Can't Wait to Be King'? It's all coming together.

Carried on a wave of youthful enthusiasm, none of us even think to double-check which track Ashley has picked. Foreshadowing!

So the day of the performance comes. Another group goes right before us. They had picked “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, which was a huge hit at the time. I mean, it still is because it’s a classic, but then it was big and new. They step onto the mat and immediately begin to do choreographed dance moves, which they have worked into their routine. We had not thought of this. Oops. Dance moves, of course! So they incorporate the necessary gymnastics, it goes over really well, the energy is high, and now it’s my group’s turn.

I take my place at the edge of the mat, the mat we are required to stay on for the length of the piece. Ashley cues up the track she’d chosen.

A song starts up. Instantly, I recognize it from the movie. It is the very slow instrumental music that plays when Simba realizes his dad is dead.

‘Well, this is not optimal,’ I think. I've been on this planet for nine years; I can see that much. But it’s too late to change the track, and so I tell myself, ‘It’s okay. I’m a performer. I can sell this.’ I put on an extremely solemn face and begin to execute a series of the world’s saddest somersaults.

Friends, when I say “sad” I mean it, in every possible sense of the word. Picture a nine year old with the gravest possible affect, determinedly doing somersaults to the slowest, most serious music she can imagine, in a careful ring around her friends who have actually learned any gymnastics whatsoever. Okay, now as the music starts to pick up and get more hopeful, imagine she gets real dizzy and in front of everyone, she rolls all the way directly off the mat, careening dangerously towards the assembled students.

Somehow, I roll myself back onto the mat, we survive what feels like hours of humiliation, we stagger away, and I blessedly avoid adding “puking my guts out in front of all of my peers” to my very short list of gymnastics tricks.

Later, I asked Ashley what in the world possessed her to choose that song.

“It didn’t have any words,” she said.

(There was absolutely no rule against using songs that had lyrics.)

Anyway, that’s why being an adult is better than being a kid.

I may have to do laundry and make my own dinner and wrestle with more complex existential angst, but you know what I haven’t been asked to do in like 26 years? Somersault for three minutes straight to the musical shorthand for “this cartoon lion cub has no choice but to process the weight of unimaginable grief for his dead dad.” And you know what? If I live another 50 years, I can be pretty confident nobody will ask me to do it then, either.

[glitteryinknotes]

There is a level of deep, bitterly poetic and cruel irony in Astarion's death and his eventual fate as a vampire spawn. Laughable, even. Lamentable.

Where do I even begin. I once posted here my thoughts on who Astarion was before Cazador took him; and all my thoughts were based on what we can assume to be canon from scraps on information in - game and interviews with Neil. That Astarion Ancunin who was laid into the ground at Baldur's Gate cementary was a corrupt magistrate, a shining example of power abuse, indulgence, hedony, existence in privilege without any service to the world around.

We also know for a fact that Astarion is not a good person in a moral sense. Again, Neil Newbon himself talked about it. He has capability to grow, mature, open himself up, soak in the positive influence and feel for others, but he never will be the default upstanding type. That is simply not at his core.

This is why (I am aware we're talking a fictional character, headcanon is free to all in whichever way they think it suits and pleases them) I cannot for the world believe in all the fanfiction based on the notion of the tragic, tortured soul unjustly attacked and turned into a vampire, because to me - it misses the entire depth and essence of Astarion's personality and arc. He was not a "worthy" persona before Cazador; in fact, the beating he got from the Gur was well - deserved and the near - death experience... Probably so as well. Maybe if anything, this would open his eyes and force him to reflect at least a bit on his choices in the position he was occupying. (But given that he mentions begging Cazador to turn him to be able to take revenge, I highly doubt that.) So yeah... The man got what was coming to him. He deserved it.

But what he got in the end once Cazador allowed him to drink his blood and had him in his hold? Two hundred years of misery and abuse beyond description, being completely stripped of any identity and personhood? No one deserves that. Such fate should not be thrust upon anyone. Ever.

It is the cruellest, most wicked twist of fate that it took that kind of ordeal to change a corrupt little elf's view of the world and force him to even acknowledge the existence of evil deeds and abuse of power - something I am quite sure he never gave any thought to before. It took being transformed into an utterly helpless victim to make him truly see that there is good and bad and perpetuating the bad leads to pain and misery for the innocents (and you can never be sure if not for you as well), and only then, at his most pathetic, most vulnerable, after centuries of torment, it took meeting, trusting, admiring, being grateful to, befriending / loving and being influenced by a genuinely good and kind person (probably the exact opposite of who he was before) to shake and cause some shift in his inner moral compass, or rather the way he was choosing to use it. The full circle, a poignant, unwilling journey from the one abusing power, to the enslaved puppet of someone with considerably more power abusing it in the most inhuman ways possible, and this time to his own woe, to the one person able to break the abusive cycle given the right influence.

Isn't that simply poetic in the most sickly sense? A tragicomedy, if you will.

Forget about Astarion Ancunin. The grave was good for lovemaking and sharing an important moment, but whoever was laid there was not anyone worthy of your time (just like "Ascended Astarion" )The one who stands by your side now is. Your Astarion. The new Astarion, the same "lovable rogue" with a taste for theatrics, drama, debauchery, beauty, murder mayhem and loose morality, but - a better person all the same.

[follow up post here

https://www.tumblr.com/glitteryinknotes/733162725841289216/a-little-follow-up-to-my-previous-post?source=share]

[grandhotelabyss]

What we really need is a book in the style of Craig Seligman's Sontag and Kael: Opposites Attract Me about Sontag and Paglia.

I thought Deborah Nelson's Tough Enough—which I liked—should have ended with a Paglia chapter. The fact that it didn't, and for what I take to be political reasons, suggests why Paglia has the upper hand in my view: she's not going to be as easily recuperated by the institutions while she's alive. It's hard to imagine Paglia earning the admiration of a consummate professional like Merve Emre. Which is ironic, because Sontag proudly never taught and expressed only bitter contempt for academia while she was alive, while Paglia has faithfully taught for pretty much her whole adult life, if at a wary art-school distance from official academe. (Sontag was good at finding people, even princesses, who would pay her bills; Paglia perhaps not so much, or perhaps, to give her more credit, she regards herself as having a vocation.)

Politically, Sontag was always on the right side of bien-pensance, which I find slightly contemptible; people are allowed to change their minds, but still, if she'd maintained the political views she held in the '60s into the '90s then she would have been on the Michael Parenti side of Yugoslavia (or, conversely, her '90s views in the '60s would have put her on Updike's, Ellison's, and Nabokov's side of Vietnam).

On the other hand, Paglia was and remains too credulous about pop culture, and Sontag's later turn against it—if at times too much in the style of what Kael called the Come Dressed as the Sick Soul of Europe Party—was basically right. Almost her last act on earth was to canonize Bolaño, while Paglia was claiming George Lucas as our greatest living artist.

Paglia's historical scope and emotional register are broader, and for this she'll always have my heart; Sontag couldn't have written a Paterian prose-poem in honor of the bust of Nefertiti or of a Tamara de Lempicka painting. But Sontag probably was more politically sophisticated, and the moral conscience that mortified and tormented her aestheticism created tremendous drama, and for this she will never lose my admiration; Paglia couldn't have issued the prophetic injunctions of Illness as Metaphor or On Photography.

Hilariously but predictably, the moralist Sontag was apparently bad news as a friend, lover, or family member, if gossip and biography are to be believed, while the aesthete Paglia is by all accounts a perfectly kind person in private life.

(When dealing with moralists, you should always bear in mind this line from "The Soul of Man Under Socialism": "One is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted." When dealing with aesthetes, you should always bear in mind Basil Hallward's charge against Lord Henry Wotton: "You never say a moral thing, and you never do a wrong thing.")

Paglia lived one side of the binary dividing them to the full, every inch the diva dancing a step of Apollonian precision even in Dionysian frenzy, whereas Sontag allowed—or couldn't have avoided it if she'd tried—Athens and Jerusalem, never mind Apollo and Dionysus, to go to war inside her mind. In that sense, they're not an equal match. I probably love Paglia more as a writer—that is, I love the spectacle she creates on the page—whereas what I love about Sontag, not that she didn't write many unforgettable sentences, is the exemplary tragicomedy of the life of her mind.

I suppose those are some notes toward the book we need.

[meimi-haneoka]

I am so sorry that I haven't been responding to your articulate and kind answers to my asks. Honestly, my professional as well as personal life in the last month and a half had been a complete mess (it would be more appropriate to call it a tragicomedy at this point) but I had been wrapped up in my exams even though I had tried to keep myself up to date with the announcements. From what I understand, no news of season 2 of CCS CC anime, right? In any case, it does seem that patience would be the best virtue for now. Sigh. On the other hand, I have come across some screenshots of a CCS CC mobile game from a few years back. From what I gathered, it had a scene where Syaoran teases Sakura by saying cheesy romantic stuff in English and then refusing to translate it for her. Lmao. This guy. I am beginning to see shades of Horitsuba's Syaoron and TRC's Li Tsubasa in him. Look at this formerly grumpy little brat being all sly and flirty. Plus I also saw screenshots of elementary school age Syaoran with Fujitaka at the latter's home, presumably discussing archaeology with interest and Sakura serving them sweets and mostly smiling indulgently from a distance. I really want to know the context of this one. Fujitaka and Syaoran's bond was one of my fave in TRC and to watch them in CCS, bonding over archaeology despite the different contexts and origins of this interest in this world would be a joy. You just know that Fujitaka's greatest fanboy is going to be his son in law. (Also, is it just me or is Li Tsubasa more of an anthropologist, like the cultural anthropology kind, than an archaeologist like Syaoran?)

Dear Aubretia, you don't need to apologize! I also don't always feel mentally available, or have time to answer to asks, so I might take some days too! But your comments and asks are always welcome here, whenever you feel like it!! I hope your situation got better in the meantime! 🙏

Yep, April 1st didn't bring any anime S2 news aside from CLAMP confirming in a Space that an announcement might take some more time, but it is surely on the way: now everything is basically left in Kodansha's hands, to make that announcement.

Ohohoh I know very well what you're talking about! The legendary (and defunct) Happiness Memories mobile game! I played that game myself for the one year it lasted, and sometimes I was literally shocked at how pertinent and relevant that game was to the anime (but also manga) storyline...so much that I wondered more than once if Ohkawa wasn't a ghostwriter for it or something... For example, in the game you could play a "photo story" where Akiho practiced with Kaito her introduction for her first day of school at Tomoeda...it was very sweet but I thought it was just "an invention" of the developers of the game... But when the two Drama CDs came out with the Special Edition of volume 7 and 8 of the manga, I was shocked to realize that Ohkawa wrote a line for Akiho where she recounts her first day of school to Kaito, and she says "I was able to greet everyone in Japanese, just like I had been practicing!" <- just like in the game!!! That felt too much of a coincidence (in a CLAMP thing?? coincidences don't exist!!) to me, so I lowkey consider whatever happens in that game "canon"! 😁

I had made some threads on my Twitter account, back then! And I remember I translated some of the content of that SyaoSaku Happiphoto here!!

I also remember the one about Fujitaka and Syaoran, I mentioned it in my Trivia post about all the literary references, because in that photostory Fujitaka mentions a particular book to Syaoran while talking about archeology...but unfortunately I didn't get to play that photostory, so I don't know many details about it!! But yes, I totally agree that Fujitaka's biggest fanboy will be his son in law (and this reminds me we didn't get an interaction between them in Clear Card!! This is totally one of those things they can feature in the anime, though! 😁)

Hmmm for Tsubasa and Syaoran, yes, it might be like you say! And it would make sense because despite one is the clone of the other, they are two different people and had different experiences, even their personality is sliiightly different!

[firecrackerhh]

This bitch’s victim complex is astounding,

Have you considered the reason why people have a tendency to be fucking mean to you online is because you’re obnoxious as shit and any time anyone has the decency to be kind to you, you treat them as if they’re a piece of shit for it? Or assume they have some agenda when it’s likely they may not give a shit about Viv either way?

Have you considered you are the cause of your own misery?

This bitch really doesn’t know the basics of online etiquette huh? You don’t! Feed! The trolls!

Does this bitch know what an internet troll even is?

Considering this person misspelled Viv’s username and sent you a “threat” that looks like it can be used as a fucking copypasta I don’t think this person is like…actually a fan? They probably just saw you have a fucking meltdown and thought it would be hilarious to fuck with you.

I don’t condone that behavior obviously but Jesus Christ let’s not act like Squid is some poor little victim, she only ever makes shit worse for herself. Just block and report them or whatever like a normal person instead of milking your misery for attention for 5 minutes.

I’m sorry, wasn’t this bitch earlier saying that both the “standom” AMD the hatedom were shitty towards her? And now all of a sudden the hatedom is good because they fell for her shitty “I’m gonna kill myself” act? She doesn’t deserve any fucking sympathy! I reiterate, YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF YOUR OWN MISERY!

Bitch just got pissy cuz no one gave a fuck about her shitty “protest” discord server where nothing was gonna happen anyway no matter how many retards joined in, so she made this huge thing about “feeling alone” and “wanting to die” and blah blah fucking blah, ad nauseam, et fucking cetera.

Like, I’m sorry if I sound particularly bitchy when I say this, but YOU are responsible for YOUR choices at the end of the fucking day! This bitch CHOOSES to engage in behavior that ultimately makes her mental health worse ALL THE TIME and yet she’s so fucking allergic to accountability anyone trying to make her think otherwise gets labeled as the enemy. Fucking Christ what toddler shit.

I would sooner believe a long time heroin addict could go clean in a year than ever believe this attention seeking lil bitch could stop her bullshit.

She clearly doesn’t want to stop her bullshit. Being a fucking lolcow online is clearly giving her far more fucking attention than anything else she does, like I don’t think she’s like this intentionally, with a purpose, she really is just so not self aware she doesn’t realize how she comes off to other people, it’s honestly tragic, in a funny way. Real tragicomedy shit right here. Her being online may as well be considered self harm for her.

Inshallah her parents find out what she’s been doing and she…I dunno, getting committed to a psych ward is too harsh of a punishment (god knows I don’t trust America’s healthcare system) but hopefully her parents can put a fucking lockdown on all her shit or have parental controls or whatever so she can finally get the fuck over herself? Tho Squid could always use a VPN…assuming she doesn’t use one already.

[denimbex1986]

'*****

Some of the best ensemble acting in town is currently at the Lucille Lortel Theatre, which is remarkable not because of the material—Anton Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya has always been a great piece for ensembles—but because it’s a one-man show. That’s perhaps slightly less surprising if you know that the man in question is the extraordinary Andrew Scott, who has played roles as varied as the wicked Moriarty on Sherlock, the titular sociopath on Ripley, the sensitive gay writer in All of Us Strangers and, of course, Fleabag's Hot Priest. But none of these performances, by themselves, can prepare you for the gorgeous finesse with which he shuffles the roles in Vanya. The dexterity of his hand is equaled by the gentleness of his touch.

In adapting Chekhov’s 1897 tragicomedy for solo performance, playwright Simon Stephens (The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time) has also moved its time and place, Anglicizing the characters’ names and transporting them, if not quite to the present, then at least (based on the tech they use) to some point in the '80s. Many modern versions of Uncle Vanya—including last year’s revival at Lincoln Center and Richard Nelson’s in 2018—are set in recent times, but Stephens reimagines the world of the play more thoroughly than most, while retaining its essential qualities. For example: Aleksandr, the pompous and gouty professor of the original, is now Alexander, a pompous and gouty film director; the bitter title character, Ivan, wears douchy sunglasses and carries a little red sound-effects gizmo that he uses to sarcastically score his own life to applause, wolf whistles or the whine of a sad trombone.

The middle-aged Ivan has spent his life managing the family potato farm on behalf of Alexander—his onetime idol, and the widower of his beloved sister Anna—with help from his niece, the kind but plain Sonia. She pines for the local doctor, Michael, but he only has eyes for the beautiful Helena, Alexander’s much younger new wife. Helena returns his passion but feels bound to her marriage; Ivan also desires Helena, but she resents his crude attentions. Both Michael and Ivan attempt, unsuccessfully, to drown their depression with Smirnoff. That’s a lot of misery to keep track of, but Scott and director Sam Yates keep everything elegantly sorted. Each character has a specific voice and a signature prop: Sonia frets with a tea towel, Helena fusses with her necklace, Michael bounces a tennis ball in place.

Juggling characters can often look frantic onstage, but it doesn’t in Vanya. Nothing about Scott’s performance feels hurried; he is unafraid of long silences, like the ones between Michael and Helena that practically heave with the heat of what they can’t say. In that sense, it is of a piece with the use of negative space in Rosanna Vize’s set. (Scott, Stephens, Yates and Vize are jointly credited as Vanya’s co-creators.) Vize uses quickly identifiable features to help individuate the characters: Helena drifts on a suspended swing stage left, while on stage right the earthy employee Maureen hovers by the ashtray and kettle (Scott has a blast with her); the acne-scarred imbecile Liam sits on a tiny plastic stool, while Ivan’s judgmental mother gets to feel superior on a three-step staircase to nowhere. But between these sharply defined spaces is an equally sharp sense of absence. The specter of the late Anna, keenly missed by Ivan, is suggested through the movement of keys on a player piano. (We can’t see Anna, but many characters flicker between seen and unseen in this production; her invisibility, in this context, doesn’t mean she’s not there.)

The only unfortunate thing about this moving and revealing Vanya, in fact, is how few people will be able to see it: It is only running for eight weeks, and like the current revival of A Streetcar Named Desire with Scott’s All of Us Strangers costar Paul Mescal, it is outrageously costly. (The few remaining seats for sale start at $319, and scalpers are charging even more.) But in this case, at least, fans who pay to see Scott are getting something truly extraordinary from him, and a huge amount of it—nearly two straight hours at very close range. Multicharacter solo shows in this mold, even when executed very well, can seem show-offy or even exhibitionistic: playing with oneself in public for the thrill of being admired. Scott’s work here, virtuosic though it is, transcends that; price notwithstanding, it's a generous performance, with a humanity that feels true to what draws us to Chekhov in the first place. A show like Vanya telescopes the empathy at the core of theater’s appeal: how audience members can see themselves in many different people, and how actors can find many people in themselves.'

[fruiteggsaladit]

Already knew I want Rui to be some kind of biologist or zoologist, I want her to be interested in animals bc she raises Yukina, who is strongly implied to like animals (although it would be extremely funny. if yukina doesn't like animals normally, the birds were a fellow prisoner situation wait fuck that's tragicomedy god. dammit. why can't I write her being just happy or just funny)

Anyways her having very strong opinions on aquariums and fish health feels very right

[everythingkashmir]

Education Experiment

When common sense took a holiday

By Faisul Yaseen

What can only be described as an absurd experiment in bureaucratic stubbornness, Kashmir has been put through a rather strange adjustment in the academic calendar.

The shift, like most of the political diktats descending from Delhi, was executed without so much as a courteous nod to the people whom it hurts the most: students, teachers, school administrators, and even parents. It is as if education mandarins have decided to play a game with Kashmir’s future because why not? It seems our bureaucracy has found a new playground and our students are the fresh batch of lab rats.

For years, the educational schedule of Kashmir possessed a simple logical rhythm. Then would come the exams in October and November, just when the dreaded winter was going to set in. Now, however, thanks to the brainwave of the genius policymakers and the intellectual bureaucracy of Kashmir, our students wait a whole five months – yes, five months - till March or April to appear for their exams.

That is where the tragicomedy begins. Instead of such winter months spent in preparing for the next academic year, students wait for exams that won’t come.

The previous October-November session used to allow the students to make use of the winter break by spring-time. But those days are behind us now. Now, students who, from December to February, wait for hours rather than laying solid foundations for their following courses are simply condemned to a monotonous limbo. The long winter break which acted as a breather before new academic beginnings has now become a drawn-out purgatory of waiting.

And all for what? For an education policy that imagines Kashmir in some manner as some kind of singular experimental case. Just imagine the Kashmiri students – poor guinea pigs running on some bureaucratic treadmill, uncertain about what they are running toward. Let us see what happens, the policymakers shout with gleeful shrugs, tweaking here, pulling lever there, as if the futures of our students were something they could just tinker with.

Worse, no one in charge bothered to ask the stakeholders: not the schools, not the teachers, not the parents, and certainly not the students directly affected by this outrageous disruption. But then again, when has consulting actual experts or involving the public ever been part of the grand political blueprint for Kashmir?

If it weren’t tragic, it might have been funny. One could even call it an incredible farce. In the name of modernisation and streamlining Kashmir, this move was orchestrated, which quite ironically, left out all the specific geography of the place, its harsh winters, and the academic world that had developed over the years. Apparently, our climatic changes, schooling culture, and common sense are not nearly as important as those pragmatic goals of appeasing some arbitrary, countrywide educational checklist.

But wait-there is a faint glimmer of hope on the horizon! Here, Minister for Education Sakina Itoo hinted at the possibility of returning to the original schedule that existed at the academically flawless October-November schedule. Yes, you have it right. The same old schedule that had worked seamlessly for years till it was shattered in the name of reform. An irony of welcome is that the government is finally coming around to realising that maybe, just maybe, the system as it was wasn’t so broken after all.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if, before rushing to implement drastic changes, policymakers took the time to consider local realities? If only they respected the voices of those who actually understand the implications – teachers, parents, educational analysts? But no. Instead, we have become the reluctant subjects of a far-reaching experiment in educational engineering that feels more like a cruel joke at our expense.

Meanwhile, the Kashmiri students pay the price of these lab experiments – months lost and valuable learning time flushed down the drains, all while politicians and bureaucrats sit in their air-conditioned offices, blissfully disconnected from the realities of the ground in Kashmir. One can only hope this latest flirtation with reforms is corrected sooner than later – before another academic year is lost to the whims of political gamesmanship.

But hey, why stop at education? Kashmir could make a wonderful lab for more innovative policies, right? What’s next – shifting the summer to winter? Ending weekends? Whatever the case may be, here in Kashmir, we have learned to expect the unexpected.

Greater Kashmir

[ilopisara]

18.05. 21:44 | Ilo Pisara vs Savon Seula 4 - 0

Alright, folks, gather 'round! Let's talk about the latest masterpiece on ice. Ilo Pisara just handed Savon Seula a 4-0 spanking so bad they might need therapy. First off, let's give it up for Teppo Winnipeg—our puck-moving defenseman who was smoother than buttered toast out there. One goal and two assists? The guy's practically writing his own Hall of Fame speech already! Sami Noddy decided to channel his inner sniper with two goals from three shots. That's right; he didn't miss once! If only my exes had that kind of accuracy... Yuri Tarde played like a maestro at center with one goal and an assist while winning 75% of faceoffs. He’s got more control over the puck than I have over my morning coffee addiction. And Jani Saari in net? Three saves on three shots—a perfect game! It's like trying to score against Fort Knox when he's between the pipes. But let’s not forget: Savon Seula didn’t even finish the game properly. They chickened out faster than a vegan at KFC! Seriously, if you can't handle losing gracefully, maybe take up knitting or something less competitive? Looking back at our recent games—yeah, we’ve had some ups and downs—but this win is sweeter than grandma's apple pie after those close calls against Akaan Risukiekko and SAAHANAT. So buckle up boys; it's onward Ilo Pisara—or back into tragicomedy territory—you decide! Onward we go!

[aeoki]

SS Finals - Everyday: Chapter 6

Location: ES Training Room Characters: Wataru & Gatekeeper

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< At that time. ES training room. >

Wataru: (...Hmm?)

(This won’t do! It seems everything has gone awry!)

(Things have been quite stable for us “fine” and we didn’t encounter any big incidents or troubles, so little issues can stand right out!)

(Well, I suppose I did foresee this but…)

(Why does my heart slightly hurt? I see I had a heart all along!)

(I would be overjoyed to act as any despicable villain on stage, though!)

(Ahh, ahh… This really won’t do.)

(My craft has become dull. But I’m not skilled to the point where I can turn every tragicomedy that happens in life into sustenance for my craft – Which means I still have yet to attain perfection.)

(I should be reflecting on myself – how unsightly. Or perhaps this means that I still have space to grow.)

(To live or to die! That is the question! Amazing!)

“Gatekeeper”: …You seem to be having a jolly good time talking to yourself.

Wataru: Oh? What an unexpected guest!

But a very welcome one all the same! Welcome to my castle! The one who plays a major supporting role, Mr Doorman and Anzu-san ♪

It’s been quite a while, has it not? Have you gained some weight? Or is that quite rude to say to a lady?

Or is it considered even more rude to treat those of different genders differently? What do you think?

“Gatekeeper”: Stop being so pushy. I’m not young enough to keep up with you brats.

Wataru: Why, then I must apologise! It’s quite an emotional reunion for Anzu-san and I, though!

She has been separated from us all like a “captive princess”, but I’m glad to see she’s doing better than expected!

“Gatekeeper”: Hmph. That is we agreed on, so I’ve been “protecting” her courteously. Besides, the meals I fed her every single day would be more than enough for her to put on weight.

Wataru: But even so! A prisoner is a prisoner no matter how well they’re treated! Oh, poor Anzu-san! Come into my arms!

Hm? What’s this, Anzu-san? Is it a love letter? How touching!

…Hmm? Future producing plans for “fine”?

Ohh, it’s written in detail about how each member should be produced!

Hehehe. I see you’ve used your time well, Anzu-san ♪ After all, you’re the “producer” we all love and respect!

“Gatekeeper”: That’s right. Didn’t know she took her work that seriously. Didn’t know that she’d be working on her days off, either. You’re gonna die early, you know that?

She used the money I gave her to live the best kind of life in good health, and gathered information using all sorts of methods to come up with the producing details for the ES idols.

She even used my money to buy the equipment and materials that would be necessary for the future as well. Can’t tell if she’s just stubborn or unfaithful – I can’t even get angry at this point.

Wataru: Hehehe. I think I have a good idea as to what your goal is, seeing as you didn’t ban her from doing that.

You’re not trying to give us a hard time at all, are you, Mr Doorman? ♪

“Gatekeeper”: Don’t call me that. That’s just a nickname my boss gave me. Hearing that name makes me feel unpleasant – It feels like my memories have been tainted.

Just call me “Gatekeeper”.

Wataru: That’s not your real name, either, is it? Are you also someone who feels more like themselves with a mask on? We’re two peas in a pod!

“Gatekeeper”: All adults are like that. Doesn’t matter if you’re a director, manager or the prime minister – What’s important is the title you have and nothing else.

You only use your private parts when you’re making a child.

Besides, I’m a eunuch. That sort of “opportunity” is unthinkable – I’m perfectly fine being “Gatekeeper”.

Wataru: You’re nuts! I like that! It’s rare to meet such meticulous people, after all!

“Gatekeeper”: Hmph. If everyone acts robotic like me, then human society would have already reached its peak a long time ago.

But it’s rather difficult for it to turn out that way – How aggravating.

As I thought, consistent unity and control administered by a superior existence like my boss was necessary.

Wataru: Err, did you come here to complain?

I do like people who pay attention to me, so I don’t particularly mind. But you don’t have the time for that, do you?

“Gatekeeper”: Hmph. Yeah, the finale is here. These past two months definitely felt like a long time.

But it’s still too early to let my guard down – You don’t want to slip up at the very end, after all… I’ll do everything I can.

“fine”. I’ll be troubling you, but I’ll be leaving Anzu in your hands.

I promised to take care of her until the end of the Qualifying Rounds, after all. Now, I’m returning her to you.

As you can see, she’s full of enthusiasm and is itching to produce you idols.

But things are bound to take an irritating turn if she does something careless.

You lot will control her. 

No. I’ll intentionally put it this way: You lot will be the ones to protect her.

Wataru: Of course. But why us?

“Gatekeeper”: That’s because you’d have no issues controlling her without going crazy. Tenshouin tends to take the reasonable approach in general, for better or worse.

He’s not planning on using his secret weapon anytime soon. That’s the sort of person you’d want to hold the controller to your ultimate weapon.

Wataru: Well, Eichi does get emotional sometimes, you know?

He looks like he understands everything at a deeper level, but he surprisingly cannot see the things that are right in front of him!

“Gatekeeper”: Yeah. I told you and him to appear “that way” in the meantime. Thanks to that, he shouldn’t be anywhere close to the truth at this point in time.

Wataru: Indeed. It was unexpected to see Eichi so upset just because I suddenly disappeared! I did think that would be nice if it happened, though!

“SANCTUARY” was quite fun in that aspect – in a variety of aspects, actually…♪

I was happy to see Eichi’s different expressions! Although, I did feel a bit bad manipulating him like that ♪

“Gatekeeper”: That’s why the “order” and “secret order” exists – Just blame it on me.

Wataru: You got the short end of the stick as well, hm?

“Gatekeeper”: I did. It’s natural you lot don’t know, but I’ve been playing the part of the villain for a long time.

It’s what I wished for so I’ll carry out this mission I received from my boss with joy.

I’ll accept all of the filth – I won’t even let one ounce of it get inside the gate.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[piduai]

Literally been months since I said I would watch mr vengeance since I watched lady vengeance and old boy thanks to you .

And I finally did it. I really appreciate the end, I feel like it's a "rightful" one. But I hated the women depictions as usual. The scene when the sister is agonising in pain and those pornsick ppl think it's a woman having "pleasure" is a good portrayal of what is expected of a woman in bed. It's very bizarre that men expect women to moan like this and they take pleasure from that.

Actually I don't know if it was intentional and Park wanted us to understand this ?! I don't know all I know is that I hated it.

A movie role is to make you feel so a win is a win.

Also i didn't like the sister suicide ? She could just wait one week and do the operation and help her brother if she felt like a burden. It's really stupid, sorry but I got mad at her.

And the long arm killer ?? It is an hallucinations , he is supposed to be an allegorical apparition ?! Honestly like everyone else I don't care about him but he needed to join the water too !

It's a good controversial movie. I like how it make us think about it even after watching it . The day after while doing dishes I was reviewing some scenes. An interesting watch.

I don't remember but if I'm correct you said it was the weakest of the three , I agree with this too.

Anyway thank you , hope you are safe with your cat. idk how far you are from the earthquake.

I don't believe also in new year , days are just days but whatever happy new year to both of you.

i think that if we're to extend a lot of grace to that scene it could be interpreted as "men masturbating to women's suffering" in a literal sense, she is moaning out of pain and they are deriving pleasure out of it. or something. idk it's been years since i watched mr vengeance, i keep meaning to rewatch it but never get to it. but i hated that scene too regardless of whether it was intended as a critique of male depravity, could have done without it either way imo

as for the sister suicide i disagree, this story is sort of an absurd tragicomedy with no winners so you can't expect the characters to be reasonable and niceys, otherwise the plot wouldn't move. she was my favorite.

it's oldboy i consider the weakest of the trilogy, mr vengeance used to be my favorite for a long time but then got overturned by lady vengeance. i think it's a movie that is supposed to make you feel exasperated and frustrated, it's filled to the brim with unfairness and ridiculous happenings, most acting characters are both perpetrators and justified victims, but it has a very resonant continuity to it all. i find all of these aspects very charming. when i first watched it it also made me feel conflicted, so i like it a lot.

i'm far from the earthquake so have been unaffected. thank you, and happy new year to you too! i hope it's kind to all of us.

[krockat]

absolutely gorge.

for a person who's been kind of drifted off from cool movies their whole life and is like, learning how to find things to watch that isn't centered at youths

(two of my most fave shows are steven universe and shera spop (and also russian doll, good omens and the boys but i haven't finished those yet so they don't count),

and has the task of recommending cool-fish whimsical weirdo movies and creations to a newly formed norm critical film group that me and a buncha disabled nerds are watching at our non-work-cause-we-cant-work-cause-we-v-disabled-workplace... :

does anyone have any recommendations on where to find films like this, or films to discuss, in such a group? or recommendations for specific films or media

(especially the watchable kind - one one can put on an old projector that's kinda shitty because we have not gotten the funding from our workplace (that's not actually a workplace, the corpos and govvies just want us to call it that. a lot of us going there call it dagis tho (informal slang for kindergarten)) to really gust this shit up yet)!

we are a bunch of funky polyminority queers and blooming cis+ers who all are into weird shit. but they (and me aswell, to a certain level, its just i know more than many of them on things like these) have not yet unlocked our potential for weird and norm critical/aware fully.

i think if this group goes well, we can motherfucker unlimited a Whole lot of people, honestly.

so yes, i am looking to make these all fuckers bloom out even more.

here are some movies i am going to suggest to our viewing, so you may know what we already got ahead:

- but i'm a cheerleader!

- everything everywhere at the end of time

- John waters movies and medias, esp those with divine (but i have not seen any yet, so if any of you have specific recs i would Love them)

- epsilon (i think?) - this one swedish short film that was a part of the yearly swedish film festival sometime between 2015-2020 that i can Not for the life of me find any even trace of online.

pretty sure it was called epsilon and it was about a brain that was being used in science experiments, that didn't realize it was just a brain, and a psychic one at that -

and the owner of the brain had donated it to science and had written away the right to have the ability to take away consent after they (the swedish scientist institute) had acquired the brain.

so they (the scientists) keep deleting its memory every time it gets 'too feisty' (tries to escape or attack the people abusing it for science).

it had one kind of notable swedish white older woman actor in it, but i can Not find her through imdb searches as i do not remember her or any works she has done. i tried searching through old women actors there but could Not.

- liv strömquist tänker på dig!

i am having hard time finding it online.

there was a recording made by SVT (Sveriges Television) of this Swedish theatre divising production, which is based on Liv Strömquist's feminist tragicomedy comic book also called Liv Strömquist Tänker På Dig! (Liv Strömquist Is Thinking About You!) - and i went to it live aswell Two times - and it was amazing, and i even got a script from (i think it was, retroactively) the director herself as i showed my huge nerdiness about it - and i foolishly never saved my own RIP of the recording of it!!)

- clue (tim curry etc version)

- derry girls (a few eps?)

we have watched, so far:

- dating amber (nice, we watched it in two parts. the first 3 meetings we had to setup the tech thing and the weird room we borrowed from the nearby building, dirty dusty room that was part of some old nearly empty office buildings, that was like a time capsule from the 70s. really funny to explore, super abandoned vibes and like it was left in a hurry with crap thrown places and sensitive documents, and broken and Untaken care of.

an old drink-yoghurt bottle that they stopped making like nearly 10 years ago stood in the projection hall that with old ass dusty ass tech sat. we nerded out REAL HARD y'all. also seems haunted by the past. also one time we heard a weird sound, and one of the friends there gathered it was an elevator alarm, cause she knows the sound as she lived in places with bad elavtors. and i was like. we should probably look to see if anyvody needs our help, but where tf is that elevator even, because it wasn't the regular elevators we use? so we find the elevator (in a room we didn't realize was there because we had explored it before and not seen that whole part.) and we pressed the button to see if it would help. and after a pretty long time (for an elevator, but not too long if it was a broken elevator) the elevator moved to our floor and there was a man there looking really confused. the door was bolted so we would have to unbolt it to open it. He didn't really say anything at first even after I said hey, so I asked 'are you okay? do you need help' and he was like 'no i am not okay, i am stuck in here, but there's people down there who are saying they can help me' so he went down and after he started going I was like. okay we'll press it again and if he's still in there we have unbolted the door so he can get out. but when we pressed it back he was gone.

anyway one of the friends got real scared and spooked out by that whole ordeal and honestly the place to begin with haha. but she was the one who showed up the next time to watch the second part of dating amber, and me (apart from our coach) , cause the other two were sickomoding.)

and are gonna watch:

- rocky horror picture show, next monday!

we are going eat snacks and dress extra camp for it, cause we wanted to also have it more like a viewing of the original cult movie watchings, and like some places still do?

yanno with the singing along and the throwing popcorn and that kinda hullabaloo?

but we just didn't have time to prepare all that for this one (we are all burnt out/are recovering, even our coach/leader is lol). so this is our pre!

oh yea this is a huge long comment where i just kinda had time to write down all this for the first time! longer than i anticipated, but i am gonna let myself be long for this one.

Woman of the Seventies

[mischiefpaw]

hiya!

hey i dont know how many people still follow me but i figured i should give an update on what i’ve been up to through all this radio silence.

TL;DR i was artblocked and still am but i’m making a webcomic! more details below.

as you can probably tell, i fell into a pretty bad art slump over the past couple years. i haven’t been happy with or felt able to finish pieces for a while, which was made worse by losing interest in most fandoms i’ve made art for in the past. it’s not that i don’t like them anymore or will never ever draw from them again (sorry to the people who followed me for warrior cats though i think i’m through with that), my interests have just changed LMAO. While things have improved on the slump front, I’m still kind of artblocked and relearning how to work through it. That’s not gonna go away immediately, but i’m determined to get through it and get back to posting art of things i love!

As for what my interests have shifted to... for the past year i’ve been writing a webcomic called Ad Terra! Ad Terra follows a struggling professional gamer stranded in an apocalyptic world by supernatural forces, and his bitter rival. While both seek to find their former teammates, old grudges and clashing personalities make things much, much harder than they have to be in this tragicomedy about grief, the glory days, and zombies. 

If that sounds like something you want to know more about, shoot me an ask! I have so so so much to talk about when it comes to these characters and while I won’t spoil too much, i’d love to let you guys get to know the setting and characters.

As for progress on the comic itself, I’m currently in the scripting phase. I’m expecting that the first chapter will be posted in late 2023/early 2024-- which seems like a long time, but I’ve got some secret comic-related projects up my sleeve that’ll be worth the wait ;) For right now, you can follow @adterra​ on tumblr for updates when they come. I’m super excited to share the story with you guys when it’s ready!

(quick sketches of our protagonists!)

Onto actually talking about art! I have been drawing, but most of it is unfinished doodles I haven’t felt like posting. As I said before, finished pieces probably aren't gonna turn up for a bit, but I’m going to try and get into the habit of posting more sketches and studies (more as a form of accountability to show myself that i actually have been doing stuff than anything else, but also bc i love seeing other people’s sketchy studies myself!)

thanks for reading love you all mwah happy holidays

[smokeybrandreviews]

Saturnalia

I didn’t expect to update on Azur Lane so soon but i kind of had to. There is a rerun Sardegna Empire event and i absolutely had to participate. My current quest is, in fact, the Ruskies but it’s hard to ignore the Italian faction considering they’re kind of my fourth favorite dock, after the KMS, IJN, and SN. I actually cleaned up during the last Itai event a while ago, doubling the amount of ships i had in that dock. Aquilifer's Ballade went a long way to my overall Fleet health, giving me a ton of experience and blueprints to finish out my then developing Kraut dock. Plus, i mean, Roma is a thing and i needed to own her so, you know, in for a penny, in for a pound. I ended up added all six of those Aquilifer’s ships to my dock so there is incentive to continue. So far, i have eighteen of the twenty-five available Sardegna ships and i kind of feel like i should go for the rest? I mean, i missed one of the reruns, Empyreal Tragicomedy, so i don’t know how feasible that would be. But, at the same time, i did roll Pola, Zara, and Littorio on random Banners so, maybe? At the very least, i didn’t let this particular rerun of Daedalian Hymn pass me by.

Not gonna lie, this sh*t was costly. This Banner dipped into my pockets heavy. I did not have the Gacha touch this time around. I am a little perturbed about that but, i mean, i rolled all of the available ships. I was looking to pop Aquila, and kind of only Aquila, but she didn’t drop until, like, three days into the event. I had secured every other ship available at that point; Vittorio Veneto, Libeccio, Maestrale, and multiple Nicoloso da Recco, so i was kind of frustrated. I was down under a hundred Wisdom Cubes, something i never do, but finally, Aquila popped. It was bittersweet because i ran through, like, two hundred Cubes to make this happen. Torricelli and Duca degli Abruzzi were a given due to the fact they’re both basically Point awards but getting to those Banner girls was f*cked up. Like, I'm not mad but i am definitely disappointed. Sh*t taxed my pockets more than chasing literally every Ultra Rare ship i own, and the Itais don’t even have a goddamn UR ship to their name! The f*ck? All that said, Vittorio Veneto's costume, The Flower of La Spezia, is top tier cheesecake, man. Live 2D never looked so good!

It’s nuts to think i spent all those resources and time on the grind, for, at best, a tertiary priority. Right now, my focus is on my Northern Parliament dock because those boats are gorgeous. I love their look, with all of the ice and dragon-like artillery. They have a very Iron Blood feel to them and we all know how much i love my Krauts. That said, not much has changed with my current grind. I mean, i was able to get Chapayev and Sovetskya to level 120, with Avrora bringing up the rear at 119. Every ship in my dock, right now, is fully Limit Broken, and I'm slowly, but steadily, leveling up their skills. It’s been a while since I've had such a tall order to fill. It took, what? Two years or so to max out my KMS dock? I imagine it will take much less time to top off my SN Fleet, however. I mean, they have, like, a third of the Iron Blood ships. I already have nineteen of the twenty-three. Literally only missing the boats from Kronshtadt’s event, Abyssal Refrain, and that has yet to have a rerun so I'm feeling pretty good there. I was able to construct Chkalov and have been on the grind to get her completed but that leaves me at a loss. I've be grinding out Hakuryuu blueprints with every intention of Constructing her next but, now that I have such a strong stake in my Sardegna dock, maybe I should go for Marco Polo? I dunno. Something to ponder, I guess? Also, I'm missing Tashkent for some reason because i have the rest of the ships from her event. It’s whatever, though. She can be my Ruskie version of U-110; The ever illusive ship i missed that may or may not bless my dock through unforeseen circumstances. Wishing well, I'm looking at you!

[jamestrmtx]

The Bebop Blues - [Animal Crossing | Tom Nook x Reader]

[Gender-Neutral Reader | Slow Burn + Tragicomedy]

Chapter Two | Oh My God, They Were Business Partners (Part 2 of 2 | Your POV)

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You grab the roll of paper towel and bring it close to your mouth, using it as a microphone when the music starts.

Tom stares at each of your movements, and -- though you know his intention is far from bringing any sort of pressure over you -- his gaze summons forth a subtle case of stage fright, one you try to mask by smiling and striking a pose before beginning with the lyrics.

If he'd been kind enough to offer his help, the least you can do in return is push through your fears and give it your best shot.

Thankfully -- the second you start singing -- it's as if you forget about your surroundings and everyone in it. Your heart races on par with the music's pace, and you can feel your mouth stretch into a smile. The lyrics are the only thing in your mind, while the makeshift microphone is the only thing you can sense. Your body grows lighter the more you carry on, until it feels like you're walking on thin air. It's only when the song starts to level down that the sensation lessens in intensity, though most of it remains until the very end.

You don't realize you've had your eyes closed the whole time until the last bit of melody ends. Add to that your dry throat and sweaty hands, and it's now that you grow full-aware of just how ridiculous you could've likely looked for the entire song. You can hardly bring yourself to say thank you, despite how many lyrics you'd voiced out loud. Moving from the stage -- this one a simple and worn, wooden box -- feels like a challenge bigger than it was agreeing to having Tom help you out with your worries. Before you can panic any further though, you see Tom stand up from his seat, smile, and then clap. The gleeful look in his eyes is more than sufficient for you to smile back and snap out of it, albeit after a few more seconds of steady breaths in and out.

His encouragement is like a glass of cold water on a hot day -- refreshing and aiding with the suffocating feeling that came along after the song ended.

"H- How did I do?" you ask, words barely a question as you find yourself still unable to speak up in a proper manner. "My head's spinning," you then add, managing a laugh.

Before you know it, Tom is standing right in front of you, now having to stare up as a result of the box causing you to be taller than him. He offers his hand out to you and brightens the look in his eyes as he asks, "Would you like me to help?"

Though it takes you a while, you nod at him and give into a grin. "Please," you say, flaring your nostrils. "I don't think I can make it down from here without breaking a bone or two."

He bursts out a chuckle and squeezes your hand when you place it over his. "Good to know I read the room right, then." His gaze then shifts to concern as he brings you out of the stage and off to firm ground. "Are you alright?" he asks. "Your singing was beautiful, but you seemed a bit tense, at the end."

You follow him back to the desk, let go of his hand when arriving there, and sit on one of the empty seats available, taking up the one closest to the mini-fan on top when he suggests you to do so. "I…" You scratch your throat and take in a quick breath. "I went straight into overthinking after the song ended." Your gaze meets with his, and you thank him when he offers you a cup of water. "When I realized how sweaty my hands were and how fast my heart was going, I… I kind of just froze, and stage fright gained control of me -- just when I thought I was learning how to fight against it."

While having him listen already feels like more than enough, having him pull his seat next to yours and place a hand back on yours turns out to be a surprise -- but a welcomed one, to be sure. In spite of his current actions, he doesn't acknowledge physical contact or what such an action implies and rather meets your gaze, his softened up by an emotion you're not quite able to decipher by full. It makes your heart and stomach feel strange for similar reasons, though you brush it off as you simply being too nervous to stay still. 

"But then I saw you smiling at me, and…" You let out a sigh, shoulders slumping along with it. "And I felt better, knowing I wasn't alone -- knowing I had someone by my side."

His hand tenses over yours and brings forth curiosity into your mind, one you use to spare a longer, more detailed look at him to notice his ears are perked along with his tail. His nose -- similarly -- twitches with what appears to be a mixture of shock and excitement. "Of course, (Y/N)," he says, almost stuttering over his words. "You... You are important to me, so supporting you in your endeavours is only natural." He lets go of your hand and scoots further back in his seat. "Though I must confess, I wasn't sure how to offer that support, at the beginning. Even now, I still hesitate as to how I can approach you."

You shake aside the odd sense of disappointment that comes with hearing it's 'only natural' for him to support you and focus on more important things, such as that of acknowledging his last statement and bring some sort of clarity over his doubts on the subject. "Honestly…" You smile at him and wink. "Just do what you've been doing this whole time, 'cuz it's been working well until now."

The fear of you having said something wrong arrives when you see his eyes widen and his shoulders tense. Your brain scolds you for not coming up with a better response, while your heart urges you to ask him if he's okay. You end having no opportunity to listen to either one of them, as he soon snaps out of it and says, "Do you truly mean that, (Y/N)?"

A nod is what you can manage when leftover worry prevents you from forming a reply. "I…" You grab the cup of water and take a few quick sips from it, needing it more than ever now to carry on. "I do. There's nothing more I could ask of you, really." You set the now empty cup down and huff, allowing your body to unwind. "What you've done for me here is… It's already proof enough."

The brightness of the stars pokes through the windows and aims right at your face, almost reminding you of what your original purpose is all about and what the rain stopping means for you.

With it now being such a late hour and the night so cold and wet, you figure it's only proper to wrap things up and leave.

You'd stayed at his office long enough -- overstaying your welcome was a thought beyond your mind and heart's capabilities.

"Thank you again, Tom," you say, standing up. "I had a wonderful time."

"Wait."

His words are what your heart hoped for, yet you refuse to acknowledge that.

Instead, you turn back to his side and ask, "Yes?"

"Would you like me to walk you home?"

Tom's question comes out bold enough to send a chill down your spine; still, you recover with a few minutes and some reasoning over your feelings, and proceed to reply with a quick and simple 'sure'.

Except, that's how you wish you could react, as you end up saying, "I'd love to," with an enthusiasm far too noticeable for your face not to grow warm. "As long as it isn't much trouble, though."

He shakes his head. "Hardly so." Then, he picks up his jacket, offers it out to you again, and swipes a set of keys from his desk. "Shall we go now, or do you need some more time to recover?"

You take the jacket and suppress a flinch when nearly brushing your hand with his. "I'm okay now -- Let's go."

That's the last thing you say as you accompany him out of the building, whereas his office is the last thing you see as you look behind you. 

Perhaps, it's how the lights have been turned off and how silent the night is, but there's something about leaving that makes your heart ache. It's a faint feeling, and one you could likely brush off easily enough, yet your mind resists just as much as your heart does, both of these who force you to assess the meaning until your face is too hot for you to handle. Ignoring it is almost impossible now, and it leads you to hope for the walk to be over soon -- regardless of it having only just begun.

No matter what though, you can't express your true feelings out loud; burying them back down is the only viable, logical solution available -- so as to prevent you from making a complete and utter fool of yourself.

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