#Like they were 'selling out' or 'giving in' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pedgito · 3 days ago

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𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 | Joel Miller x reader x Tommy Miller

summary | twisted into the miller brothers web, you find yourself deeply entangled in a complicated situation between the two and hell bent on self-preservation, you discover that running isn't always the best choice.

author's note | i was going to get this out before the end of the year if it was the last thing i did. i have never been so fully engulfed in a fic like this. it's just a little mini series, but i could talk about this shit for hours. thank you to everyone who's listened to my incoherent rambling and especially @gracieheartspedro who nailed down this ending when i was struggling so hard to decide. if you enjoy this silly story as much as me, ily.

content warning | 18+ smut, this is heavily joel miller x reader leaning, cannibalism, gore, mentions of violence, blood, death, joel's territorial <3, lots of unprotected sex going on 'round here, oral (f receiving), pain kink go hard, blood kink and consumption, biting kink, literal love as consumption, restraints, description of wounds from said bites, scarring, omitting a few tags for spoilers but please remember you are responsible for the work you consume, if you are ever feeling uncomfortable, do not continue reading. this is dark fic. that's the only warning i'm giving.

word count —13k, BITTER (part one)

“Killin’ is a viable option.”

Tommy groans, hand rubbing over his face as he leans against the kitchen counter, “They aren’t backwoods folk, Joel. You know that, we gotta be smart.”

“All they gotta do is get the law involved,” Joel points out, “fancy lawyers—“

“We’re selling to half that department,” Tommy argues, a long moment of silence before he adds, “and if you’d stop interrupting I’d tell you I already spoke to ‘em. Said I’d run it by you first before we set anything in stone.”

The big brother seal of approval.

You watch along curiously, stuck in the chair that Joel had a hand gripped around, sandwiched between them both as they volleyed arguments back and forth like they were fighting gladiators shoved in the colosseum—may the best man win.

“I still think we should just kill ‘em,” Joel chirps with finality, glancing briefly over your dumbstruck look, frozen somewhere between fear and shock, their voices fading in and out like muffled conversation, “make sure no one’ll come askin’ questions. Easy. You ain’t never had an issue with it before.”

The letter was still clutched in Tommy’s hand, a list of vague threats and accusations—the weird occurrences around the Miller property, the strange behavior of Tommy’s older brother, the smell. There wasn’t hard evidence, but they weren’t wrong either. A few minutes grazing the property and a look in the barn would confirm anyone’s suspicions—which, speaking of…

“Are you going to kill me now?”

It was a brave thing to interject with, given Joel’s current hostility around the situation with their nosey neighbors and you, like a pest making a mess of his home. But, instead it was him. His mind—a foreign feeling that he didn’t like or intent to allow to wreak havoc much longer.

He’d kill you if he had to, if that was what it took.

Unsurprisingly, they both ignore you.

“Let me talk to ‘em tomorrow, Joel,” Tommy barters, “see if I can smooth things over.”

“Ya ain’t smoothin’ shit over, we know how this goes—you lose your temper and then we have a mess. Just take care of the fucking problem like I suggested.”

You knew the house, it was the only one within walking distance. Far off, covered by a line of trees and eclectic decor—you never thought much of it, under the impression that everyone in this town was as demented as the Miller brothers, most of the suspicions confirmed as the brothers continued to argue.

It was an open secret—deranged and fucked-up, but there was full, completely loyalty.

If you had gone digging enough, you would have found out yourself. But, Joel wanted you to know. It takes a killer to know a killer—the wood of the chair cracks behind you as his grip tightens.

“We aren’t gonna hurt you,” Tommy comforts suddenly, a quick glance over of your injuries, “not intentionally, at least—”

“She fell,” Joel explains, a half-truth, “made a damn mess and wasted the scraps for the pigs—”

“Joel,” Tommy warns, returning his gaze to you, “You’ve been good to us, better than most. We can trust each other, alright? Ain’t no reason to think otherwise.”

He was sickeningly sweet, laying it on so thick you see right through the facade. He was upset, rightfully so, but you weren’t sure how much of it was directed at Joel and how much of it was directed at you.

“When did I surpass being a meal?” You turn your attention toward Tommy, flicking your eyes up briefly at Joel, “Was it before or after you fucked me?”

You expect it to be newfound information to Joel, but he doesn’t react in the slightest. He almost smirks, actually. A sudden, miniscule response that you wouldn’t have caught if you weren’t so on edge.

“Now, darlin’—”

“Cut the shit, Tommy,” You retort, “When did it happen?”

“Still a chance, if you’re feelin’ persistent,” Joel taunts.

Tommy shoots Joel a dangerous glare before his face softens.

“The thought never occurred to me,” Tommy replies though you find it hard to believe him, “M’not sayin’ we’ve been this kind to everyone, but with you—s’different. Right, Joel?”

“Well, she does like the taste,” He grins viciously, a showing of teeth that sends your body into a full chill, “ate it right up, loved it.”

Your eyes shoot daggers in his direction and he shrugs, his tongue shoved into his cheek as he moves to stand, turning in a circle on his heels as he leans against the nearest surface.

“I mean it, you’re safe with us,” Tommy assures, “out there—we can’t protect you. And if you think we’re the monsters, you’re in for a rude awakenin’, baby.”

“Don’t,” You chuffle, a short laugh through your nose, “I’ll—I’ll stay, but this,” You wave your finger between him and you, before it circles the group, a discoordinated trio, “I don’t trust either of you and don’t call me that. Don’t call me anything, actually.”

Your anger was justified and Tommy didn’t try to argue, only sinking back in his chair with an ‘I told you so’ look on Joel’s face. Luckily, they leave you to gather yourself, ignoring the subtle sting from the wounds on your legs and your spiraling thoughts—you could wait until nightfall.

That was it—wait long enough until it was dark and they were both asleep and make a run for the only sane people in the nearest vicinity. They could help you and help take the two brothers down in the process, it was a fair victory for the opposing party and your only saving grace.

–

They retire to their rooms eventually, the insistent chirp of crickets keeping you awake, standing on sore legs as you move around the dark room and pulling on a warm pair of clothes to trek against the nighttime winds.

You were careful, prying open doors with a quiet effort and allowing the softest steps against the old floorboard as you reached the door, immediately met with the deadbolt lock and an even heftier lock to keep you trapped–or to Tommy, safe. The house was silent aside from the sounds of nature, the occasional howling wind blowing through but you looked around, searching for another path—you had already made it this far, you weren’t going to go scrambling back.

If anything, the backdoor would have the same locks and your eyes scan the windows, closed shut but not inescapable. If either of them decided to wake, they would surely know.

There was no time to deliberate or weigh the consequences, hurrying toward the living room window that led toward the yard, pulling it up with forceful but cautious precision, ripping at the screen.

It isn’t an easy feat, not nearly the path you would have chose, but you fell to the ground with a deft slump, careful of your fresh bandages and gravel under your hands as you land, wincing as you stand but peering inside of the house cautiously, determining if you needed to make a run for it.

Silence meets you. Dead silence.

The eerie feeling in the distance creeps in, eyeing the house over your shoulder that is still lowly lit but quite the walk, you turn on your heels and make the long walk there, wondering if darting off down the road would be simpler, continuing until you came upon another sign of civilization or normality, anything to save you.

As you grow closer, the muffled melodic tunes coming from the house start to drown out your stream of thoughts, the bass booming from the driveway as you grow closer. You careful approach the steps to their door, pressing a finger into the doorbell as it chimes throughout the house—the music lowers in an instant, quiet enough that you could hear a pin drop, the door ripping open with a forceful gust of air, meet with the fierce scowl of an older gentleman.

It was hard to describe him, but there was so much going on—a peek at the inner house decor that screamed for a touch of neutralness, a mix of beaded necklaces hanging around his neck over a stretched out tank, barefoot as he approached you on the mat at his door.

It only dawns on you now that you hadn’t prepared anything—you were drawing a complete blank.

“You better start talking,” He speaks, a grittiness to his voice that stills you at your core, “botherin’ us in the middle of the night—”

“You’re right,” You blurt out, shaking your head slightly as you realize how abrasive it was, taking a breath before you speak slower, “about Joel and Tommy, you’re right. They’re bad people.”

His expression turns steely, jaw tightening as he straightens his back in an intimidating manner. You couldn’t mistake the whiff of alcohol on his breath, his drifting eyes down the length of your body, slowly realizing that this might have been a mistake.

Self-preservation had always come first, even if you didn’t think the Miller’s were the worst possible people you could have come across, they were unfortunate targets in the moment.

“They—they are killing,” You point vaguely in the direction of the house, “it’s—the smell, it’s the bodies. They’re murders, you have to help me,” It comes out in a panic and you stutter as the confession rolls off your tongue, his expression only growing dark as time passes.

Fuck, he didn’t believe you. Of course—who would?

Hey, you’ve got a couple cannibals for neighbors—let’s deal with them.

It was never that easy.

“You don’t think I know?” He responds, stepping into your space to send you stumbling backwards, but his arms lock around your biceps and keep you upright, but not for the reason he should, feeling the sting of pain as he squeezes down hard.

You gasp at the suddenness of it, “N—no, no! You have to believe me!”

“I’ve seen you helpin’ them,” He nods vaguely, “Think I’m gonna believe this shit? Where are they, huh?” The spit from his vicious reaction and volume sprays against your face as he shoves you to the ground, your arms skidding against the cement as you scramble backwards, trying to flee his quickly approaching figure, “They use you as bait?”

He’s over you before you have a chance to roll out of the way, your forearm presses up against his neck as he leers, glancing around for any sign of the brothers—silently praying that he was right in the moment, but you knew there was no one to help. Just you. Just him.

He forces you onto your stomach as your face was smashed into the rock path along the driveway, “Well, good—they can watch,” It makes your blood run cold, sensing the exact implication of his words as you calmly and slyly wrap your fingers around a palm sized rock, curling it in your fist as he leans back on his legs, twisting in his grip and bashing the rock blindly at his face, a grunt releasing from him as you make contact with his skull, falling to the ground with a dead weight as you scramble away breathless.

You stare at the sight, a man near death on his lawn before the whistle fades in—low and melodic as it approaches with the sound of heavy boots and speaking before you can react.

“Well, look at that,” Joel looks on in admiration, a small suspicion of amusement in his tone as he steps onto the lawn and peers over you, hand extended out blindly for help as he cautiously steps around the pooling blood of the now dead man, “little messier than I like, but you got the job done.”

If looks could kill—you’re seething, staring up at Joel with narrowed eyes as you take his hand and stand.

“I’ll give you some credit,” Joel continues, “You’re resourceful but predictable—suppose you can’t trust anyone in this town anymore, can you?”

He’s cocky about it, which pisses you off more. Undoubtedly, he was probably watching you the entire time, waiting in the shadows, undetectable. He’s mastered his craft, he killed people for a living. It wasn’t a mystery how he knew or expected your retaliation. But, his reaction is jarring.

“C’mon, up,” He yanks at your hand and helps you upright, instinctually brushing the clumps of grass and dirt out of your hair with a pinched expression as your eyes slowly drag toward the motion, unmoving out of…not fear. It was something indescribable, flinching at the heat of his hands as his eyes gradually rose toward the upstairs window.

“You know what happens next, right?” Joel asks, kicking at the dead body to roll him on his back, staring down at the lifeless corpse.

You didn’t need the whole speech—murder me now, please. Spare me the misery.

“Alright, alright,” Joel sighs, almost like he’s carrying on a conversation with himself—and with your silence, he was. But, he senses your fear, “well—you can’t just murder one and not the other, you little killer. You’re gonna take care of the other one, too.”

“Joel—I—” The adrenaline rush was waning, the bile in your stomach swimming and swirling.

His face hardens in an instant, forcing his hand over your mouth with a stern shake of his head as your eyes grow wide, “Ain’t time for excuses. You made this mess—you’re gonna finish it.”

You blink slowly, searching for any sign of a bluff. It never comes, in fact, his grip only grows tighter until you answer, shakily nodding your head.

“Go on,” He urges, “I’m right behind you.”

He’d have a front row seat this time instead of waiting in the wings.

Joel wanted a full taste.

��

The wife is tucked into bed when you finally find her, barricaded in her sheets and sleeping soundly despite the loud, blaring music when you first approach the house—you figured it was a regular occurrence, but you don’t linger on the thought long.

You hold onto the thought of the husband and his unwillingness to hear you out, how they seemed to already have you figured out, wrapped up in the Miller’s web and just another willing accomplice, repeating the same careful steps from earlier that had clearly failed you as Joel breathed over your shoulder.

It needed to be quick—not entirely painless, but clean.

The vase to the left of her head seemed like an emergency option, the woman splayed out on her back as you searched around, knowing that you didn’t have long with Joel’s looming presence. You chew at your bottom lip as you reach carefully for the pillow beside her head and slowly press it over her face, a few seconds of calm before you find yourself in a predicament.

Climbing over her lap, you mount and press the weight of your palms into the pillow, face scrunched in concentration as the woman flails and shakes against the movement, grunting meekly as your hand slips against the scratch of her nails, glaring at Joel for a silent plea of help, realizing that she was putting up far more of a fight then either of you expected.

He waits until the last possible second, an unreadable expression on his face before he’s flipping the switchblade out of his pocket and piercing it through her clavicle, the blood squirting on your chest and face, rearing back instinctually as you gasp, her body falling lifeless in an instant.

“I can appreciate the effort,” Joel comments, wiping the blade off on the sleeve of your shirt before he pockets it again, “how’d that feel?”

You don’t realize your heart is racing until he asks the question—it was a similar feeling to a drug-induced high, slightly floaty and off-balance, your mind hazy as you blink, the stench of iron filling your senses and that strange look on Joel’s face returns.

You understand it then—lust, another subtle hint as he licks at his bottom lip out of reflex.

Joel would lick you clean if you let him.

You clear your throat and speak quietly, “What—what do we do?”

“Well, we gotta transfer ‘em to the house,” Joel explains, “So, you’ll stay here and wait—not run, that clear?”

You nod mindlessly, towering over your second dead body of the night.

You were far too deep now.

You don’t move—not really. You sink to the sheets beside the woman’s body but you listen dutifully, ears perking up at the roar of an approaching truck and door slamming followed by footsteps before Joel reappears again, seemingly breathing out a sigh of subtle relief as he spots you.

He’d never admit it, but you can see it.

It take a while, but eventually you carry both bodies into the bed of the truck and cover them with tarp, questioning Joel on what happens with the house, the evidence, everything that could essentially criminalize both of you—

“That’s above my paygrade, honey,” You’re not amiss to the change in his voice, his expression more relaxed as he shifts the truck into gear, “the sheriff handles all that for us.”

“And…the sheriff��he—”

Joel chuckles, “It’s everyone. Not just a group of us. We aren’t just sellin’ to townsfolk, either. It’s overseas, across the country. Shit is high risk, high reward. Why do you think I followed you tonight?”

So, he did follow you—he’d known the entire time.

“I saw the idea pop into your head earlier while Tommy and I were arguin’. Like I said, predictable. I’m not sayin’ you didn’t have a fair reaction, I get it. But, we can keep you safe.”

You cross your arms over your chest silently, skin and face caked with blood.

“But will you?” You retort, “Can I really trust you both?”

As the truck pulls in near the barn, the ignition falls silent.

“I want to,” Joel admits, “natural ability like that shouldn’t be wasted.”

A natural-born killer, he means.

“You feelin’ guilty right now?” Joel asks, eyebrows raised.

You shake your head quietly, avoiding his gaze.

“Good, keep it that way.”

Joel works silently to unload the bodies and load them in the barn as you sit quietly in the passenger seat, staring at the barn door as he drags tarp covered corpses inside with a brute strength unlike his brother, somehow spotless throughout the entire ordeal.

“I’ll move the truck in the morning,” Joel tells you as he pulls your door open, a hand waiting in assistance as you climb out on unsteady feet, the ache of your wounds coming back in waves as reality sets in.

“It is morning,” You retort, earning a huff of annoyance from Joel.

“You know what the fuck I meant,” He responds, his thumb flicking at a flake of dried blood on your collarbone as you stand in front of him, “Tommy’ll get pissy if you wash the blood off in the main bathroom—I’ll let you use mine.”

Your face contorts in a mix of confusion and amusement.

“Or I can hose you down out here, your choice.”

–

The house is as quiet as you left it, guided silently with the touch of Joel’s hand between your shoulder blades as you traversed the dark house—and you aren’t sure what you were expecting as you enter Joel’s bedroom, but it wasn’t this.

It was lived-in, personal; full of books and random trinkets, pictures lining the top of his dresser and walls—his family, you can only assume. A few pictures of kids that you surmise are Joel and Tommy, you avoid Joel’s gaze as you look around aimlessly, clearing your throat as you approach the bathroom, hearing the light flick on beside your head.

It was clean, at least. A dark colored shower curtain hiding the tub away from view and his bathroom amenities only slightly astray, probably from previous use that night.

You turn to him with a quizzical expression, his expression matching.

“What? Somethin’ wrong?” He asks.

“It’s just—it’s…clean. It doesn’t—it doesn’t fit you, I guess.”

“I’m just a dirty old man to you, ain’t I?”

It’s a joke, but his delivery falls flat.

“I’m confused, I guess.” You tell him honestly, “Look at me—” A vague gesture at your own disheveled state, dirt and blood smeared on your face as he tilts his head against the doorframe.

“I am,” The deep timber to his voice strikes you at your core, a casual but unsuspecting answer, “I cleaned up for the night, wasn’t plannin’ on getting dirty again.”

“But, you’re always dirty.”

His job required that—but Joel was meticulous about his routine after he was done for the day. Dinner, a thorough shower, sometimes another if he was feeling particularly bothered, and the quiet of the calm house to lull him to sleep.

Unfortunately, that routine has been disrupted since you arrived.

Like an infestation, you’d taken over.

Joel ignores you with a half-assed shrug and flicks a dried speck of blood from your nose.

“Go on,” He demands, “I’ll grab you some clothes and fresh bandages.”

You clear your throat awkwardly and nod as you gently swat his hand away, avoiding his gaze as you press the door closed enough that it doesn’t lock, but allows you the privacy to undress.

It feels good to clean the blood and grime away, scrubbing at your body until it burns, bathing in the distinct smell of Joel’s body wash, a faint hint of it always wafting off of him despite his usually dirtied state.

You can hear him moving quietly beyond the curtain, his shadow passing a few times as you’re expecting him to fold against the urge to peek his head beyond the curtain—something, anything.

You hated the forced gentlemanly facade.

Once you’re out of the shower and dressed in clothes Joel had picked out, a matching set and a fresh pair of underwear that had you glancing sideways at him as his fingers peeked around the bathroom door with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and fresh bandages in his hands.

He kneels quietly with a concentrated expression, mirroring his actions from before. Wincing through the sting of pain as he cleans and dresses your wounds, catching his glances as the noises slip beyond your lips—an inconspicuous check-in, wordless.

You can’t help but fuck with him now, defenses down.

His eyes follow the way your hand smooths over the waistband of your shorts, your thumb slipping beyond the thick band as you lean against the mirror, watching as he taped down the gauze, “Kinda defeats the purpose, don’t it?”

“What’re ya gettin’ at?”

“The whole—bet you can’t guess what color underwear I’m wearing joke,” You play quietly with the waistband, fingers twirling in the drawstrings below your navel as your thighs spread against his guidance, his hand sliding down to your ankle to raise your leg higher in an effort to secure the bandage, “I see you wanted them to match,” You jest at him lightly, noticing the way his eyes immediately lock onto the apex of your thighs.

He brushes it off, a roll of his eyes as he finishes up his job, carefully piling up the trash on the floor as you slowly slide off the bathroom counter, leaving his head level with your waist.

Had you asked yourself if you wanted to be this close to him twelve hours ago, the answer would have been different, but the downright pathetic look on his face as his eyes drag up your body and eventually land on your face are a powerful spell.

Slowly, your hands drift into his hair—surprisingly soft as the curls sway with your movement, gripping the hair tight and pushing his head back in the process, a low rumble in his throat at the action.

“Do you like that?” You inquire, his eyes darkening at the question as he sets his sight on something he wants—a primal gaze, almost like a warning.

“You tryin’ to make my brother jealous?” He asks, “Think I should tell him about your plan to rat us out—how it didn’t work and now you’re tryin’ this—”

“I can’t leave now,” You admit, still not fully settled with the idea but deep down you knew, “I—I do feel safe, you know. With you—”

You exhale shakily as his lips press against the sliver of skin beneath your shirt, just below your navel as his eyes fall shut, his tongue following the path as he presses surprisingly gentle kisses into the skin before his fingers are curling over the band of your shorts.

“Don’t trust me, though—do you?” Joel asks snarkily, eyes peeking open slightly as your lips part in a soft gasp as he pulls the clothing down your hips, peeling the underwear down with it.

One hand drags up your calf, calloused hands against soft skin as he pulls one knee over his shoulder and shoves your shirt upwards, giving him an obscured view of your cunt, lips spreading open with the movement and glistening with slick despite how much you tried to loathe him—there was a racing in your heart that differed from Tommy, like you know you shouldn’t be doing this but your body was demanding otherwise.

You shake your head lazily as it drops back, slumping against the medicine cabinet as he drags a finger through your folds, toying with your clit in small movements, silent as he drinks in every small sound you make, your opposite hand digging into the counter of the sink as his fingers dig into your thigh, opening your eyes as he presses his lips to your cunt, right against the mound and into the short, coarse patch of hair before he’s spreading his tongue out flat against you and licking a slow, tortuous line up the seam.

“Trust–trust is earned,” You reply breathily, “It, fuck—it takes time.”

Joel hums a response of approval as his nose nudges against your clit, tongue dipping inside of your hole as he stared up at you, even at this angle you could see the smug smirk on his face as he drank you in—Joel was still a frightful man, enough unknown that you found yourself wondering if the choices you were making were correct, if somehow this would cost you your life in the end.

But, then he’s pulling away, dragging his finger up the seam of your pussy as he stands, unbuckling his belt quietly as you strip your shirt away, not needing to be told or guided, his tanned skin flushed a subtle red as he unbuttons and parts his flannel, adjusting his jeans and underwear down just far enough under his balls that they sit snug against the fabric, his cock intimidatingly large against his even larger hands.

So much with Joel is unspoken, his intensity held in his gaze. Even from your first meeting, there was a look—and even now, he’s got that look. Like he’s trying to decipher you.

He flattens one hand against the bathroom counter as you spread your legs to accommodate him, his other hand grabbing at your ass to pull you near the edge before he’s running his hand down his shaft, the foreskin swallowing up the red, angered tip of his cock before he’s pulling back and rubbing his cock through your folds, gathering the wetness there and pressing inside with a pinched expression on your face, your breath catching as your hand twists into his shirt.

“That hurt?” He asks, his voice taking on a softer tone.

You nod fervently, “Yeah—yeah, it’s—you’re…pretty big,”

You weren’t trying to actively compare the brothers, but the thought passes in your mind and Joel notices the thoughtful look on your face, huffing out a laugh under his breath.

“Good,” That it hurts—he wanted you to feel it tomorrow, that it would be a constant reminder.

He’s a natural masochist, but he wasn’t about not enjoying sex. So, while he savors the soft hiss of pain at first, the dig of your nails into his chest, eventually you relax and turn to curling yourself around him, legs tight around his hips and your arms slung over his shoulders as he presses his forehead into your own and fucks you with a slow, powerful force of thrusts that make the walls shake—surely it would wake his brother, maybe that was what he wanted.

His mouth parted slightly, panting out hot against your skin as he glares at you—into you, through you, your eyes fluttering open and shut as he follows your trailing gaze, the precipice of your pleasure clawing over the edge of their metaphorical walls.

“Yeah, s’right there—isn’t it?” He taunts, a half smirk on his face as he watches you.

Always watching you.

You nod again, feeling the hand that was squeezing at your thigh digging into your skin as he used it for leverage, thrusting into you while he guided your hips toward him, using your body like he had full control over it. His other hand finds your breasts, squeezing the flesh in his hand before he’s rubbing his thumb over the quickly hardening bud, a shiver running down your spine.

There was nowhere to hide with Joel, all imperfections on display as your head lulls back against the mirror, eyes opening to find him matching your expression—somewhat sated but nearing the edge of his own release, he nudges his chin up and speaks, “S’this what gets you off?”

Your brow furrows as you tilt your head, his hand trading your breast for the hand twisted into his shirt, guiding it toward your clit as he gives you a silent order, your fingers circling the sensitive nub.

“Fuckin’ both of us—s’gonna be a hell of an issue when he finds out, you know.”

“Is this what you like—huh, talking about while you fuck?” You counter, “Your brother?”

His jaw shakes slightly as he gaze dips, admiring the way your cunt swallowed him up, his fingers wrapped around the wrist that was working at your clit, toes curling as your knees squeezed into his hips, that heat building in your core.

“I can talk about how he eats pussy better than you,” It’s teasing, an effort to get a rise out of him, “or do you—you wanna hear how he whimpers when he fucks me because he’s so pathetic? Is th—is that what you want?” His hips stuttered with your words, “He’s so much sweeter, you know? S’all soft and kind—”

Nothing like Joel.

His hand seems to loosen at the mention, but you shake your head.

“Oh, don’t ease up now, honey—I never said I liked it.”

Joel opens his mouth to speak, but you didn’t want to hear it, shoving your opposite hand over his mouth as you both spill over the edge, the ache of loss finding you as he pulls out, thick ropes of come panting your stomach as you clench around the emptiness, his teeth digging into the palm of your hand as he groans with his release.

“I’ll handle Tommy,” Joel promises as you both dress, cleaning yourself up as he buttons his shirt, “It’ll be easier coming from me.”

“You don’t have to lie, he should know—”

“I’m not,” He responds quickly, looking up at you through his downturned gaze, “like you said—trust is earned. You’ll earn it.”

How was a mystery—but what other choice did you have?

You learn very quickly that Joel was intentional in you earning his trust—not so much Tommy. He wasn’t surprised by your attempt to escape, but the marring of their neighbors—yours too, now—he was slightly disappointed. Hoping that he could spare you the gruesome side of things, that keeping you within the house and under his watch would help save your innocence about the entire ordeal.

But, he quickly finds out that isn’t the case.

And you find out how steady their diet of human meat was, a fridge stocked full of various cuts and textures, unsuspecting to the eye but you knew—and truthfully, the sickness dissipates after a month of eating that way. Tommy will occasionally skip a day or two, sometimes even a week.

Whereas Joel, he’s fully accepted his ways.

“How does it work?” You ask curiously, night has crept in and left both you and Joel, who you’ve gradually drifted toward lately, aware of Tommy’s lingering touches and fighting that feeling of betrayal on both ends—Tommy never seemed to mind you favoring Joel, even indirectly. However, Joel was territorial, overwhelmingly so. You wished you disliked it, but that was the furthest thing from the truth.

“How’s what work?” He asks, legs spread wide on the couch as take a seat beside him, legs curled under your body and the fire crackling beside you, his hair wet from a recent shower and his shirt sticking to his skin, “Tommy’s job?”

You nod quietly, chewing on a piece of dried meat, akin to jerky.

You’ve willingly succumbed to the lifestyle over the past few weeks, partly to blame on Joel, but mostly out of your own morbid curiosity, finding that it wasn’t all that bad as the nauseous and general sickness fell dormant.

“I don’t fuckin’ know,” Joel answers bluntly, but honest, “He’s got some kinda system going, I do my job—cuttin’ things up, mindin’ my business. I just know it makes us damn good money.”

You wouldn’t be able to tell outside of their house, but they kept things well within the interior—they owned nice things, you assumed they were out of debt and had money saved back, but they lived beneath their means as much as possible.

Joel liked a quiet life, you could tell.

“I could help out more, you know.”

Outside of your general duties and decent pay—it felt lacking, like you could be doing more.

Neither of the brothers kept you chained or trapped, that much was obvious. And you didn’t feel the lingering threat of something to come, the need to run—the feeling of security was something you had searched out for a while and oddly, they provided that.

In some sick, fucked up way, you felt protected.

“Stock is runnin’ low,” Joel debates, his thumb circling the beer bottle between his legs, while his other trails along his bottom lip in thought, “I got an idea, dunno if Tommy’s gonna like it.”

“Who cares what he thinks?” You reply, “He cowers like a puppy when it comes to you.”

It was essentially a lure and catch situation—Joel never strayed too far, always on the outskirts while you found the next willing victim, it was always you approaching them, never the opposite. You were in full control and under very specific orders.

Never people in town, always the stragglers. The more meek and unsuspecting the better, but it varied—after a couple months, Joel doesn’t even bother to stick around, sitting in his truck while you finish up the job.

And you’ve learned over time just how different Tommy and Joel are—Tommy prefers seclusion in the extremist of ways, more subdued with his affection when Joel was around and didn’t argue with him in your presence, almost like he was attempting to shield you.

Joel is out late in the barn when Tommy crowds you in the kitchen, a curious and longing stare out the window at the closed barn door, his tell-tale throat clearing as his hands wrap around your waist, his chest pressing against your back as you sip gingerly at the glass of water in your hands.

“M’glad you feel safe here,” Tommy murmurs into your skin, a soft peppering of kisses along your spine as he moves the material of your shirt out of the way, his fingers slipping beyond the thick waistband of your pants, shoving them down wordlessly, “ready for bed?”

“Not yet,” You admit, letting the silence linger before you speak again, “Can I ask you something—and I’m just curious, I swear.”

Tommy makes a noise of approval.

“What happened to my car?” A laugh bubbles up at the thought and Tommy laughs too.

“I mighta sold it for scraps when you agreed to stayin’ with us long term. I was meaning to tell you, but you never asked…so I figured…”

Who cares, right? Truly, it was a piece of shit anyways.

You laugh softly at his advances as they grow more needy, your arm curling behind you to flex your fingers in his outgrown hair, “I want you to fuck me here,” You admit, his eyes peeking open as he leans over your shoulder to look at you, a salacious smile on your face as you lean back, rubbing your ass against his cock, growing hard underneath the confines of his sweats, before you turn to face him, “like this—right here.”

Fortunately, it takes very little convincing. He’s impatient in his movements, only getting both of your pants down before he’s pushing the head of his cock inside of you, a welcomed but comfortable stretch before his cock is fully seated inside of you, walls squeezing down tight as he buries his face into your clothed chest, your hands cradling his head as he rocks into you at a gentle pace.

“God, I’m never gonna get tired’f this,” Tommy groans weakly, a hand gripping tight at your hip as he quickens his thrusts, one hand falling back on the counter to support the forceful angle of his movements, laughing breathlessly at his comment, his head rises to look at you with complete and full admiration, “I’m serious, baby.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” You assure him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips that quickly divulges into an open-mouthed exploration as you trade sounds, feeling Tommy teeter closer to the edge of his own orgasm as his fingers drift against your clit, always assuring that you were taken care of first—it doesn’t take long, hands gripping the curtain above the sink as your whine loudly against his ministrations.

Tommy is too distracted to hear the quiet creak of the door, but you’re not. The lights are off, only granting you a silhouette of Joel, but you know—he’s smirking to himself, closing the door behind him quietly as he freezes for a moment, seemingly locking eyes with your sated expression, your orgasm hitting you just as he passes down the hall, his face coming into view for a brief moment.

It was pathetic, how quickly your mind drifted to him even while his brother was buried inside of you, your grip on the curtain tightens, pulling the rod from the wall and sending it clanging down against the sink as it startles you back to reality, feeling Tommy’s hips stutter before he’s pulling out and you sink to the ground instinctively, lips wrapping around his cock as he releases the warmth of his cum against your tongue, a heady but tolerable taste that slides down your throat with ease.

Joel is already gone by the time you rise to your feet, redressing quietly as Tommy examines the broken curtain with a subdued chuckle, tossing the few pieces of sheetrock in the trash.

“Sorry,” You wince, looking at him apologetically.

Tommy grins, his thumb rubbing down the center of your chin in a comforting way as he shrugs, waving it off, “Easy fix.”

The difference between the two is simple to spot after a while—Joel’s leniency with things comes to a head as Tommy’s rigidness battles for dominance. He doesn’t make it a habit to put his foot down often, but he was already increasingly hesitant as you started luring people back to the farm—while thankful, it was dangerous. You were good at it, without fail, but something was bound to implode.

–

“She’s earned it, you know,” Joel fights for you, the usual recluse encourages a night-out—a real one, no work, just pure enjoyment, “Ain’t much trouble to get into there.”

The bar, he means. With how often you frequented it now, it was like a second home.

You were coming up on your sixth month mark of living with the Millers, finding the stragglers came in like a cycle, every few weeks, and the town was due for more.

Tommy squints cautiously, turning in the desk chair as the heel of his boot scuffs against the flooring, “An hour—only an hour, don’t need you stickin’ out like a sore thumb.”

Joel, he means. He rolls his eyes in response, dressed more casual than you’ve ever seen him. It was a simple pair of jeans and a dark-colored shirt, but it made him seem normal.

It was unsettling.

“Don’t worry,” Joel smirks, “No one’ll touch her.”

Except him, you think.

Tommy wasn’t oblivious to your odd affection toward Joel, but he wasn’t privy to every detail. He didn’t know how often you snuck into Joel’s bed at night, sometimes after being on his own before that, the devouring looks and purposeful touches that always happened behind his back.

Joel knows you find comfort in Tommy, but there was something missing.

Something lacking.

Tommy eventually relents and you arrive at the bar a half hour later, Joel in tow.

And it is mostly uneventful, drinking amongst the other patrons with the loud rumble of music drowning out far away voices—Joel was stoic, like a bodyguard over your shoulder as he seemed to people watch, like he often did.

“You’re doing it again,” You tell him, peering up at him from your seat as he glances down, his glass pressing to his lips, ignoring the wide-eyed stares from the occasional townsperson, seemingly shocked to see him.

“No I’m not,” He argues, tapping his finger against your lips before he’s guiding the glass to your lips, a wordless order to silence yourself, “Drink, enjoy it—or all that beggin’ was for nothin’.”

Eventually, Joel lets you wander.

Even if it was to dance lazily a few feet away, practically begging him to join you with your hand outstretched, a constant scowl on his face as he refused. But, eventually someone takes that offer for him, obstructing his view with a grin—an older gentleman with wiry hair and rotted teeth.

There’s a few moments of uncomfortable movement before you’re making an excuse to flee toward Joel who snickers at your discomfort, a hand wrapping at your waist to pull you between his legs as the man, persistent as you suspected, approaches beside you.

“Tommy finally let his dog out of the house?” He asks over you, staring Joel down.

Joel chuckles at that, subdued as his hand tightens against your waist, hiding your own giggle behind a sip of beer.

“C’mon, sweetheart—I’ll show you a better time than this guy. Wouldn’t know how to care for a nice piece of ass like that—him or his damn brother.”

Joel stands then, without warning as he towers over the man and you as he forces you into the seat, “Get the fuck out of here,” It was the only warning he was offering, but it strikes fear through the man without fail, sending him scurrying off for the moment.

“Tommy’s gonna kill you when he finds out about that,” You comment as Joel approaches at your back, maneuvering you out of the seat to settle between his legs again, his large palm settling against your stomach as he pulls you against him, spotting the man again from across the room, staring you both down with hardened eyes.

“What he doesn't know won’t hurt him,” Joel argues, the surprising press of his lips against your neck as you jump at the touch, calmed by his reassuring words, “Gonna scare him off, alright?”

“How—” You’re cut off on a gasp as his hand travels up your shirt, squeezing at your breast as his teeth dig into your skin, mouth hung open as you stumble back against him, eyes fluttering closed at the stinging pinch of Joel’s teeth, hard enough that you fear it breaking through the skin

Surely, it does.

As Joel raises his head and catches sight of the man’s widened eyes, he scurries off. He’s not amiss to your reaction to the bite, fingers clawing into his skin, moaning at the action. Really, he should’ve expected it.

“Turn around,” He orders, spinning you on your feet before you can react on your own, catching sight of your dilated pupils as you stare at him wondrously, a smile growing on your face as his impatience grows.

He ignores your wandering hands that crawl up his arms, gripping onto his large biceps before he’s hauling you out of the bar without a word, arm twisted behind your back as you tumble on your feet toward his truck parked in the far back of the parking lot, far away from the roar of music.

“Did I do something—oh,” You squeak, jumping back at the creak of the drivers’ side door as he sandwiches you between the seat and him, “wrong—Joel, did I—”

You’re stuttering but he isn’t answering and you begin to crawl to your side of the seat before he’s stopping you in your tracks, feet pressing against the step bar of the truck while the upper half of your body curls against the seat—and Joel, with his large and threatening presence, towers.

He works at the belt in your jeans, turning your head over your shoulder as he rips the leather from the loops of your pants, “Put your hands on the steering wheel,” He orders and you follow suit, watching as he quietly tightened the belt around your hands and through the steering wheel, rendering you immobile from the waist up.

“Wait—right here? But, there’s people—”

Never stopped you before,” He comments and your face heats at the mention, having never brought up the instance with you and Tommy until now, “I’m not a fan of waiting and I’m not against takin’ you in front of my brother—rather not, but…”

“You like having me to yourself,” You finish for him, a hum of acknowledgement following.

Joel yanks at your jeans until they fall to your ankles, pulling them off alongside your shoes and underwear as he tosses them over your head and into the passenger seat, sinking to his knees without a word as he parts your legs, licking into your with warning as you gasp, your hands yanking against the leather belt.

He squeezes your ass in his hands, spreading you open as he dips his tongue inside of you, forcing you up on your toes as you curse into the seat of his truck, forehead pressing into the fabric as your hands are stretched over your head.

He’s got an idea…a lingering suspicion as he trails his lips along the inside of your legs, never quite kissing or lingering, just a slow drag before he’s digging his teeth into your skin, a sharp pain that makes your pussy clench, his eyes locked on the action as he bites down.

Instinctively, you yank against the binds, the urgency growing as he bites down more, picking various places along your legs until he decides to bite into the fleshy cheek of your ass, purposefully breaking the skin—the tiniest drop of blood pooling at the surface before he licks it away.

He repeats the process, trading between bites and licking at your cunt until your orgasm catches you by surprise, panting against the seat as you catch your breath with his satisfied presence looming behind.

Quietly, he rustles with his belt and slides into you without a word until he’s got his hand tucked up under your chin, wrapped around your throat as he presses you against the seat with his chest, turning your head to the side to catch your already fucked-out expression, more turned on from the biting than the fact that his dick was finally inside of you.

“I fuckin’ knew it,” Joel remarks, watching the smile spread across your face, “You like it when I bite you? The pain?”

You shake your head with a soft hum, “S’nice, but I like you marking your territory.” You watch his face morph into something indecipherable as you laugh, “Got you really riled up in there, didn’t it?”

“Gotta let them know to lead you back to me if you go runnin’ off again,” Joel taunts, grunting against the shell of your ear as your walls squeeze down when the head of his cock nudges at a particular spot inside of you that steals your breath away, “Yeah—that? That right there?”

You nod weakly, wishing you could touch him—claw at his skin, grab on and take hold, but you were left helpless. Though, somehow it was more comforting this way. Joel was increasingly careful of the authority you tried to hold over him, never allowing you to have the upper hand—and you didn’t mind it.

Again, it was the stark difference between he and Tommy, who’d be willing to bend to your will if you asked, eager to please you, but with Joel, it was kismet. He always knew what you were thinking before you even spoke about it.

And as the ache in your wrist grows into full discomfort he releases them without a word of acknowledgement, lips parted with bated breath as you turn until your back is pressing into the seat, legs wrapping around his waist as he hoists you up with his brute strength, releasing a loud moan of expressive pleasure as you surge forward, pressing your lips against his before he can object, licking into his mouth with profound eagerness as his nails dig into the skin at your hips, his balls tightening with an impending release as he returns the wet, sloppy exchange of lips.

It stalls him for a moment, the sensual pace of your lips pulling his focus up, your tongue twirling around his own before they trail to his lips, your lips dragging down his chin, along his jaw, before you’re biting against where his jugular would be hiding under his skin, not nearly hard enough to cause any damage but enough to have his eyes rolling back and his hips stuttering.

“Don’t—don’t pull out,” You tell him through a murmur, running your tongue along the mark in a soothing gesture, catching his gaze as he looks at you, “What? Are you scared, Joel?”

Not scared—Joel wasn’t sure he could emulate that emotion anymore, but it was far too personal for his liking, even with the few partners he’s had in his life he’s never crested beyond that, purposeful in his abhorrence distaste of kids or the possibility of, but you have him completely under your spell and he shakes his head.

“S’just you—wouldn’t want it to be anyone but you.” You assure him, his expression softening as your thumb trails along his bottom lip, eyes locked on his own as his thrusts stuttering through his own orgasm, face pinching at his brow, your breathy moans guiding him through as he pumps your pussy full, feel the warmth seep down as he eventually pulls out, his cum sliding down the inside of your thighs.

“Get in the car,” Joel instructs as he tries to catch his breath.

His silence on the ride home is deafening.

–

Joel is more stoic and pensive over the following weeks—spring is always harder on the business, or so he says, and selling overseas picks up quicker, it wasn’t something they could explain but it was a constant trend; high demand, high reward. It was quite stressful, really.

So stressful that eventually things are beginning to run thin and you become the source of stress relief for both of them—in different ways, but nonetheless.

Tommy would rather cuddle up with you on the couch while you lull him to sleep with your magic fingers, dragging through his hair—it was gentle caresses and quiet conversation that he found comfort in, but Joel was always unpredictable.

Sometimes it was just sharing a meal—his weird obsession with feeding you; providing, in a way? You couldn’t make sense of it, but it never made you feel uncomfortable.

“Have you ever gotten a bad batch?”

“We’re careful,” Joel reminds you, “It’s why we test all of ‘em before we go through the process.”

“Is that why you sent me?”

“Do you want an honest answer?”

You stare at him blankly, waiting.

“Yeah—we had to make sure you’re clean.”

“But now?” You push, your tongue pressing against the underside of the fork as he brings it to your lips.

“I trust you,” Joel admits, “You’ve kept up your end of the deal.”

It was conversations like this that led to Joel’s affinity toward you, a drunken night several weeks later leading you both outside after Tommy had already fallen asleep, walking backwards as your fists curled into Joel’s shirt as his hand cupped your head, licking into your mouth as he unintentionally led you toward the barn door, both of you separating as your back hit the creaking wood.

You pull apart, peering curiously over your shoulder and attempting to look through the cracks, awaiting Joel’s reprimand that never comes.

“You wanna see inside?” He asks curiously.

“You’re fucking with me—”

“It’s a yes or no, darlin’.”

“Yes—yesyes, I do.” You spit out quickly, curiosity getting the best of you as he fishes his keys out of his pocket and snakes it into the lock, unlocking and prying the door open, met with full and complete darkness as he leads you inside, his chest close at your back.

He reaches blindly for the lights out of memory and you’re engulfed in the blaring lights of a spotless room—almost like a medical office with the array of equipment lining the walls and the long embedded tables, something reminiscent of what you would see at a mortuary for draining bodies and embalming, probably to help with the mess.

You sniff slightly, curious about the lack of smell as the door closes.

“That’s partly the animals, but we dispose of some of the shit the pigs can’t eat out behind the barn.”

“Like what?” You stare at him incredulously, eyes wide.

“Clothes, shoes—s’why we have the barrels burning every couple weeks when the stench gets too bad.” He spots your itch to explore, that glistening curiosity in your eyes as you relax at his answer, “Go on, look ‘round.”

You’re not ignorant to the absence of bodies—it was confusing to see a place so clean come from a man who always left work looking like he had brought half of it home with him.

There’s an array of knives and confusing cutting devices that you trail your fingers along, a bonesaw lying against the table lining the shelves, a stack of papers with faces and names, various info that you took a glancing look at, attempting to avoid the idea of putting names to faces and treating the people as anything other than product—it was how Joel lived, as disconnected and separate from the ideas possible.

“Usually it’s messier in here,” Joel admits, your lips parting in a surprised gasp as he presses his lips to your neck, “—we can fix that, though.”

“Joel Miller,” You respond in a scandalized tone, “what exactly are you implying?”

“I’ve got a room upstairs,” Your eyes flick up, spotting the loft overhead—that would explain the long nights when you wouldn’t see him at all, his comfort with being more openly affectionate outside of sex has grown slowly, turning your head to face his over your shoulder as his gaze trails up in another silent question, “unless you’ve got another idea—m’just dyin’ to get inside of you, honey.”

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip in faux thought, already knowing your answer as you were brimming with excitement, resisting the urge to drag him after you.

“Yeah?” You tease, his lips pressing against your soft, kissing you soundly.

“Yeah,” He responds against your mouth, a rare moment of calm, a sweet exchange before he’s chasing after you with a swift slap to your ass.

–

It was essentially an extension of his bedroom, cozy and homey, you find yourself stretching out on the rug rather than the couch, watching as he carefully kneeled to the floor, cursing his achy knees as you giggle, spreading your legs open to invite him in.

“The things you do for me,” You joke, slowly unbutton his flannel as he yanks you towards him, knees falling against his hips as his palms grip either side of your, his thumbs rubbing against the soft skin underneath your shirt, “careful—I might think you love me.”

“If that’s what you want,” Joel replies easily, stripping your shirt over your head as your breasts bounce free, removing your jeans with the same impatience before he’s immediately latching his lips onto your breasts and lazily trading off, biting teasingly into the skin as he looks up to gauge your reaction.

If Tommy notices Joel’s evidence that he leaves, he never says anything. Perhaps it was unspoken, maybe they’ve talked it out—it was information you weren’t privy to, but you didn’t question it. He could smell his brother all over you and he was dying to rid you of it, baring his teeth as he bit into the flesh of your breast, a satisfied hum coming from you in response.

“Do you want that?” Joel asks again, “To be loved—ain’t somethin’ you’ve felt much, is it?”

Quietly, you shake your head.

“Well, you’ve got my brother by the balls,” He chuckles knowingly, “I’m sure he’d marry you if you asked—I ain’t good with words, but I can show you—”

Curious, you watch as he stands, grabbing a sharpened knife off the end table before he’s returning to you, “Somethin’ my parents passed down to me—never used, just like lookin’ at it.”

“We’re not about to Romeo and Juliet ourselves, are we?” You joke lightly, half-serious.

Joel grins wide at that, a full belly laugh following as he slices his palm with a squint of pain before he’s allowing the blood to pool in his hand as beckons you forward with a finger. You rise on your palms and stare curiously before he’s directing his hand to your mouth, lips parting wordlessly as the deep crimson hits your tongue, eyes falling shut as you sucked at the wound.

You were so accustomed to the rich, irony taste that it isn’t even a surprise, moaning as the blood slides down your throat and his fingers curl, squeezing more blood out for you to consume before he’s sliding his hand over your mouth and down your chin, stopping against your chest as he smears it with blood, one-handed as he shrugs his flannel off and rips his shirt over his head, tearing the fabric apart in strips like butter, not a sign of struggle.

He ties the fabric around his wound before he’s wordlessly handing you the knife.

“My hand?” You ask curiously.

“S’up to you,” He admits—the wordless blood trade vowing his affection toward you.

It was something far deeper than love, you think. Devotion. Loyalty.

“Wherever?” Your eyebrow raises as Joel seems to clock the moment the idea comes into your head, trailing the blade along the inside of your thigh, up your stomach, along your breasts.

Eventually the tip of the blade finds a spot against your inner thigh, Joel’s hand careful adjusting your placing as he speaks, “Careful, there’s an artery there,” Further down, you brave the initial sting and slice through the skin, watching as the blood rose to the surface and Joel quickly descends, knife clattering to the floor as he sucks the flesh between his lips, his tongue lapping against your skin.

It’s euphoric, the feeling. So intense you could descend into madness as Joel eagerly lapped up the blood, even as he pulled away going back for a second time, a third, rising with blood stained lips and the crimson liquid pooling on his tongue as he pulls you toward him, mixing the taste of his blood with your own as he kisses you, a messy exchange of fluids as you claw at his skin, rising to your knees to match him.

Silently, you work at his jeans, unbuttoning and pulling them down his lips alongside his underwear—Joel works them the rest of the way before you’re pulling the hand supporting him over you out from under him, straddling him into the rug as your cunt sat directly over his cock, feeling him grow harder underneath you, a sight to behold with blood dripping down the corner of his mouth.

“I want more,” You tell him honestly, his cock twitching at the words, reaching for the knife laying beside his head, “Can I have more?”

Joel nods wordlessly, slightly breathless.

It was a trading battle of surface wounds, just enough to spill blood but nothing deep enough to cause any damage—surely looking insane as you straddled him with a smile, blood-stained lips yearning for more. Joel has a drunken haze to his expression, committing the sight to memory as he squeezes at your hips, rutting his cock between your soaked folds.

“Enough,” He says softly, barely above a mumble as he tosses the knife aside, rolling you underneath him before he’s sliding home inside of you, a hand cradling the back of your head while the other gripped at your knee, pulling it high over his hip, near his chest as he thrusts into you, a controlled but needy pace that was followed by low, pitiful groans of pleasure.

You’d broken this man.

His head was buried in your neck, your hand trailing down his back as you squeeze into the flesh of his ass, the fingers off your opposite hand carding through his hair, pulling gently at his curls.

“Got so much of me inside you now,” He breathes into your skin, “fuck—I’d eat your right up, baby.”

Despite his obvious lifestyle, your laugh is careless and light.

“Greedy,” You note, “I’ve already given you a taste and you’re asking for more?”

He doesn’t respond, not really. His hips are sharp, forceful as his cock spears itself inside of you, rubbing against the sensitive spot inside of you, eyes fluttering shut as it overwhelms you.

“Take a bite,” You encourage him, “f’that’s what you want.”

A real one.

Enough to scar, to leave a permanent mark and reminder of him.

One, two—you didn’t care.

His teeth drag over your breasts, tongue trailing around your hardened nipple before he’s biting into the skin at the top of you breasts, a gasp ripping from your throat as your walls flutter around him, tightening at the pain that slowly transfers to pleasure, glancing down at the small gash and trail of teeth marks in your skin.

He’s admiring, finger running over the wound before he’s rising on his knees, continuing the thrusts of his hips but slowing as he reaches for your hand, pulling you upright again.

“You–do you want me to?” You ask cautiously, feeling the blood from your wound trail down your chest, “Are you sure?”

“Ain’t never been sure ‘bout nothin’,” Joel admits, “but—this…yeah, I want it.”

It shouldn’t make you hesitate, but it doesn’t. He isn’t emotional or forceful—it was like a plea, disguised behind his facade of stoicness. He needed this devotion just as bad as you. He needed someone to put his own trust into.

When your teeth dig into his side, he hisses, his right hand cradling your head as the other curls tightly into a fist, your face pinching up as you bite beyond the first layer of flesh and taste the liquid against your tongue.

He pulls you away eventually, looking down at you with a newfound expression.

This was love—not the lust you were used to seeing.

The rest of the evening is quiet, his pace gentler before he brings you to a slow orgasm, coming inside of you nearly seconds after with a soft moan, persistent that the wounds needed to be cleaned immediately after a few moments of rest.

He tapes it away with a gentle care after cleaning and applying an ointment to fight away any possible infection, snorting at how fatherly it all seemed, even helping you situation your top back on.

“At least we spared the rug,” You break the silence, “guess you aren’t as messy as I thought.”

“Oh, I can be,” He assures you, noticing the scabbed up bit of your lip that had become victim when he’d bit into your, biting down to silence yourself. Just a small movement and the wound reopens, completely unintentional but he sucks the blood away from your bottom lip in a soothing gesture before he kisses you soundly.

You only hoped the bliss would last.

–

Eventually, the implosion comes. But, instead of gradual—it was all at once.

Tommy’s birthday was supposed to be a quiet affair, something at home, between the three of you, not having time to celebrate during the week on his actual birthday like you had planned—but eventually Tommy finds himself antsy and Joel senses your annoyance as he keeps finding excuses to slip away or cancel. He encourages Tommy to go off on his own, leaving you both sprawled out on his bed after a rousing round of sex that leaves you both sweaty and breathless, resting your arm against his chest as you stare at him, “What’s up with him lately?”

“He’s good at acting, isn’t he?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“There’s a reason he keeps to the books, you know—why I do my job alone.”

Your eyebrow raises in a silent effort to urge him to continue.

“When I’m angry, you’ll know—” That much was obvious, having been on the receiving end plenty, but Tommy—it was unnatural to see anything but his kind, bright smile.

“He’s my brother—but there’s plenty of shit you haven’t seen yet. And I think it’s unfair that he’s actin’ like things are normal, like he can keep that act up, but something’s gotta give—”

“So what, is he like…a psychopath or something?”

Joel’s silence is telling, jumping up from your spot as you settle on your knees.

“He’s a fucking psychopath?”

“No—no,” Joel excuses, your face contorting into a mix of confusion and amusement.

“You took a long time to answer that.”

“He has episodes—periods of time where he ain’t himself. I can’t explain it and my parents refused to take him to the doctor—you know, backwoods folk and all. If we had a problem we toughed it out.”

“So, he’s got anger issues?”

Joel shakes his head, lips pursed into a tight line.

“He’s killed a couple people—by accident. Least, that’s what he calls it. Tried killing me a few times, too. I’ve always been good at talking him off that ledge, thankfully. M’not trying to turn you against him but I’ve grown up around him, I know how to handle it.”

It was a lot of information to consume at once, still naked in Joel’s sheets as you adjust to sit more comfortably, a small peek at the scar near his ribcage as the sheets shift down.

“He’s lucky we do what we do—he’d probably be in jail otherwise, I’m just telling you because—“

“If it came down to me and him, you’d choose him.”

Joel pauses, his face softened as his lips downturn.

“It’s okay,” You shrug, “Let’s just hope it never comes to that.”

Truthfully, Joel wasn’t sure anymore.

After years with Tommy, he’d grown tired. It was exhausting, fighting between the battling personalities that lived within his brother.

“C’mere,” He beckons, your nose scrunching up as you grin, fitting your face between his waiting hands as he pulls you back over him, kissing you slowly.

A gentle calm before the storm.

–

The arguing is what wakes you first, not the roar of the truck, voices trailing toward the barn.

The bed is empty too, not a single remnant of Joel in sight.

But, you hear him. Loud, angry.

By the time you’re outside the barn is already closed, illuminated by the light inside as you pry the heavy door open, several underdressed with only a shirt to cover the underwear clinging tight to your skin, bare feet digging into the dirt as your feet scuff against the cement and the door falls shut behind you.

“She doesn’t need to know, Joel!” Tommy’s voice cracks, a slight slur to his speech.

He’s drunk, clearly.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Tommy—one night and you pull this shit? It’s exactly why dad had a tight leash on your ass for so many years—”

“Need to know what?” You ask suddenly, breaking through the tension as your head peeks around the corner, both of their heads whipping toward you, Joel moving subtly to block the body that you spot on the table, eyes widening.

It had always been something you and Joel had managed together—Tommy had never shown an interest, didn’t seem to care, but this…

“I’m just tryin’ to carry my weight ‘round here—is that why you like him more?” Tommy asks suddenly, his eyes glazed over and dark as you step forward.

“I invite you into our home—give you a place to stay. I—I stuck up for you when he wanted to throw you out and you chose him? My own fuckin’ brother?”

“He’s drunk,” Joel states blankly, almost dismissive of his rant.

“No—no, let’s show it off, Joel.”

Tommy comes at you with a knife, slicing it down the middle of your shirt as you struggle against him, ripping the fabric away and showing off the healing scar on your chest.

“What happened to no attachments, Joel? No baggage?”

As Joel moves toward Tommy to remove the knife, he lunges at Joel and pushes him out of the way, leaving you with a clear view of the woman laying on the table, an eerie resemblance to yourself as your eyes widen, stepping toward the table as you glance over the body—unmoving, still. She was already too far gone, with no signs of what Tommy had actually done to her.

Your head snaps up at the brawling brothers, screaming for the attention to break through their rage, Joel burying his knee into Tommy’s back to subdue him.

“Why her?” You ask him—Tommy, looking directly at him as you point to the lifeless body.

“Get the fuck off me—” He argues through gritted teeth, attempting to shake his brother off him.

“Why—her?” You stress again, walking forward to crouch in front of him, uncaring of how your body was bared to him in your vulnerability.

“Thought I could give Joel his own version of you to play with—but she wasn’t cooperating. That what you wanna hear? I had you first—motherfucker won’t let me have a single thing to myself.”

“Let him up,” You instruct Joel, backing away slightly.

As Tommy stands, you approach him, his face tight and unrecognizable.

He reeked of alcohol and sweat, a stench of something else that made the bile in your stomach rise, “I never chose, you both had me. You would continue to have me, but this—Tommy—”

“Don’t fuckin’ lecture me, not you,” He bites.

You stare at him with a growing sadness, “You’re drunk—really, really drunk. You’re gonna sleep this off and you’ll regret everything you’re saying right now, I know it. I know you.”

Something seems to snap in Tommy—attempting to rip away from Joel as you scramble toward the floor.

Tommy gets a solid right hook in, something that, if any normal person would have delivered would have left Joel unphased, but Tommy had his advantages, similar in size and stature to Joel, it was barely a fight as Joel dropped to the ground, hitting hard enough that both of you freeze, a slow ring of blood pooling from his head as your chest clinches in a mix of anger and resentment, but your body flinging into flight mode, fleeing while Tommy has distracted by the possibility that he killed his own brother.

Unfamiliar with the place you scramble to hide, unsure if running off would help after your last try, squeezing into a closet buried in the back corner behind a pile of yard tools and mowers, watching as Tommy dropped to the ground.

You could hear him mumbling to himself—a mix of self-assuring words and back and forth conversation, as if someone was responding to every word he offered.

“He’s dead—yeah I killed him,” He mumbles, “if I—if I chop him up, chop her up. Fuck,” His head whips over his shoulder, realizing you were gone, “gotta find her—but Joel, deal with him first.”

Your eyes widen at the firsthand witnessing of exactly what Joel had admitted to you—like some kind of bad omen of what was to come, you sunk down into the darkness and hide yourself away, watching as Tommy roamed around for tools, not a moment of hesitation as he intended to follow through on his plans with Joel’s lifeless body awaiting it’s demise.

It feels wrong, tossing a bone saw aside carelessly as he ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation, flailing tools around wildly, a knife clattering so far away that it lands near your feet, small enough to wrap your fist around as you grab it quietly, awaiting Tommy’s approach to Joel.

Sometimes takes over, not entirely yourself as you crawl from the spot you were hidden in and lunge at Tommy, planting the knife between his shoulder blades as pressed the blade against his own brother’s neck, his blood curdling scream ripping through the barn as he dropped to his knees.

“You bitch,” He groans, shouting out in pain as you remove the knife and sink into his spine, a few seconds of struggle before he slumps to the ground, his eyes dragging toward your shaking frame, bloodied hands rubbing your hair away from your face as you stare down at Tommy’s face, his lips parting as he gasped for air but instead find blood dripping from his mouth.

You drop to your knees, the air stolen from your own lungs but for different reasons.

Both of them dead, within a matter of minutes and it was all your fault.

“Fuck, fuck–” You cry, slamming your fist into cement, but quickly startled by the rousing beside Tommy, almost blaming it on a break in your psyche before Joel is mumbling your name, pressing his fingers into his temple as blood coats his fingers, a sizeable gash on the side of his head as he sits, slowly picking apart the sight before him.

“Oh, honey—what did you do?” Joel asks, glancing down at Tommy’s lifeless body and up at you—surprisingly, there wasn’t an ounce of anger.

“He thought—he thought you were dead, he had a knife at your throat,” You rambled in a panic, “He kept saying he was going to chop you up—chop me up. I don’t know, I fucking panicked.”

Joel remains wordless, staring into the deep abyss of blood pooling on the floor.

“I’m so—I’m sorry. I’m,” The emotion is like a tidal wave, “Joel—I panicked. I swear—”

Joel grimaces against the sharp sting of pain as he reaches for your face, his blood covered hand pressing against your face, fingertips wrapping around the back of your head as he forces you to lock eyes with him.

“Look at me,” He demands, waiting until your eyes lock on him, “This is the part where you promise—and I mean promise, that you won’t fuckin’ run off.”

“No—never. Never, not,” You shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut to blink away the thick tears, “Never again, Joel. I promise.”

“We handle this together,” He explains, “I’ll protect you but you have to say it.”

“Anything,” You nod, leaning forward on your hands to move closer to him.

“Say you’re loyal to me—that you’ll listen and do whatever I ask, without question.”

“I am—I am. Joel, I’m loyal to you. I love—I love you. I need you to know that.”

Joel sighs, head bowing.

“I would have chosen you over him. I couldn’t admit that to myself earlier, but I’m telling you now. Tommy’s always been a manipulator, I tried warnin’ you. Months ago.”

You ain’t the first, you won’t be the last.

“I won’t run. I promise, Joel.” You assure him, because with Joel you felt that protection.

A silence falls before you speak again.

“What happens now?”

“You follow my lead, that’s all I need.”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller x you #tommy miller smut #tommy miller fanfic #joel x reader x tommy #the last of us #tlou #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fic #my writing

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wonderjanga · 2 days ago

Text

You Feed Me Now For Some Reason?

This is inspired by @the-autistic-spider’s repost on this post.

Billy was having a good day. It was sunny out in Fawcett and just the right amount warm. He was relaxing, laid out on a bench in a park. His eyes were closed and he simply basked in the sun like a cat. Then all of a sudden the sun was blocked out by something.

Black Adam: *looking absolutely horrified* “Aman?”

Billy: *opens his eyes to look up, look up at him, and honest to the Gods his soul almost leaves his body as he sees Adam standing over him*

Both of them looked equally horrified to see each other.

Black Adam: “Ah…” *rubs his eyes before looking back at him* “No. You’re not him.”

Billy: “Not who?”

Black Adam: “No one that concerns you.” *clears throat* “Child, where is the Champion?”

Billy: “You mean Captain Marvel? He’s uh… not here right now.”

Black Adam: “I thought the bumbling fool was always around.”

Billy: “Bumbling- he’s not a bumbling fool!” *offended* “And he’s not always around because he kinda has a life to live, you know?”

Black Adam: “He has a life outside of being the Champion?” *does a little short evil laugh* “Like that’ll last long.”

After that, Adam flew away, leaving Billy to stare him like he was a fucking idiot because, well, he was acting like one. At least in Billy’s opinion anyways. Fast forward a week or two and Billy is leaving the Whiz building. He gets maybe about a street away before Adam suddenly lands in front of him.

Black Adam: “You.”

Billy: “Me?”

Black Adam: “Where is the Champion?”

Billy: “I dunno sir.” *shrugs*

Black Adam: “But you should know. You are the Whiz Kid, yes? You spread news about his accomplishments and battles and such.”

Billy: “Yeah? That doesn’t mean I know where he is though.” *is mentally pointing an laughing*

Black Adam: “I see.” *narrows eyes and looks Billy up and down* “You’re… skinny. Your parents need to feed you more.”

Billy: “Uhm… I don’t have parents Mr. Black Adam Sir.”

Black Adam: “I see.” *stares for a solid minute*

Billy: *stares back*

Black Adam: *picks Billy up and flies to look for a food vendor*

Billy: *screams and flails*

After they found a vendor…

Black Adam: *puts Billy down*

Billy: *tries to run*

Black Adam: *grabs the back of his sweater to make sure he stays there* “Give us your finest…” *looks to what the vendor is even selling* “Hot dogs.”

Billy: *still trying to run but this is his favorite sweater and he doesn’t want to ditch it so he’s just stuck trying to pull away from a man with the strength of Amon*

When Adam got the hotdogs he sat down at a bench and lifted Billy to sit on the bench too and eat. Now see, Billy wasn’t about to get rid of a perfectly good hotdog, no siree. So, he scooched all the way to the edge of the bench and the two ate in silence. After that awkwardness, Adam straight up left.

Now, you’d think this would be a one time thing right? Nah. Adam ends up dragging Billy to food places so frequently the boy gets used to it. They still sit in that silence but Billy’s gotten used to that and just tries to focus on the food. As for how they’re getting all this food? Adam just intimidates anyone who even thinks to deny the pair a taco or hotdog.

#billy batson #shazam #dc captain marvel #captain marvel dc #fawcett city #fawcett #fawcett comics #black adam #teth adam

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tatsumessy · 1 day ago

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that’s pretty - itoshi sae

sometimes sae feels like he doesn’t know his girlfriend. like he just doesn’t understand what’s going on through her mind sometimes and that frustrates him sometimes. “that’s pretty.” you say looking at a necklace in the window of a jewelry store, you two were currently walking around the mall shopping for some gifts for friends. “then get it if it’s pretty.” sae responds looking at you like your an idiots for not going in and buying it.

“nahhh. i don’t want it.” you respond curtly while window shopping at other stores and such. he gives you a confused look before rolling his eyes and following behind you. you run into a clothing store that had some merch and stuff in it, walking around you found a whole section dedicated to sae. “hahaha now this is would buy. it’s your U20 uniform.” “i literally have that at home y/n why would you waste your money on that knock off crap.” you sigh at his comment and hold up the jersey.

“sae it’s not about it being a knock off- it’s just about the feeling you know? if we weren’t together and having the actual jersey at my disposal wasn’t an option this would be like a dream. Itoshi Sae merchandise sells fast because you’re a hot commodity babe.” he just rolls his eyes at your comment scoffing and looking around the store. “you like this?” he says holding up a silver soccer ball key chain. “it’s nice. you want it?” “no. you want it?” he responds holding it out for me. you give him a confused expression. “sae no- is shopping too much for you?”

he looks at you offended. “no it’s not! i’m just- i’m frustrated.” sighing you fold the jersey back up set it back down on the table. “come on im hungry let’s go get some food.” you grab his hand interlocking your fingers together as you both walked to the food court. you get a box of pizza and find a seat in a secluded area. “so…what are you frustrated about?” he doesn’t respond and takes a bite out his pizza. “sae communication is key in every relationship.” you reach over pushing some of his hair out his face and gently hold his cheek.

“talk to me what’s wrong. is it something I did?” he set the pizza down and wiped his hand on a napkin before leaning back in his chair. he holds your hand no even looking at you. “i don’t know…i feel like our relationship meshes more when im busy you know? it’s like now that im in open season i don’t understand you at all. i missed your birthday and life been trying to figure out what to get you as a gift for christmas but im stuck. this is so stupid.” you cover your mouth trying to stop yourself from laughing. “sae- seriously. you feel like we don’t connect anymore? that’s only because we were used to our schedule. and i told you not to worry about a christmas gift- Im just glad to actually have you here this year.” you respond gripping his hand. “don’t think that i need some gift to be happy. im happy where im at.” you say smiling softly at him.

“what’s this sae?” you ask holding a small gift wrapped box in your hand. it wasn’t too small but it wasn’t too big either so the only logical conclusion was that it was a ring. “don’t get any funny ideas idiot. just open it.” he says, this christmas we decided to do something simple which was christmas morning we spent with each other then in the evening we spend it with our respective families. we were sitting in bed wearing matching ugly pajamas with warm cups of hot cocoa on our bedside dressers. you slowly unwrapped the horrible wrapping paper the slowly opened the velvet box, it was a silver ring with a light pink flower on top. “it’s one of those fidgeting rings i saw online. i know you have problems with your anxiety and i remember you saying the other day you wanted to find a better habit than chewing on your nails.” he explained while pulling the ring out and placing it on your right ring finger. he then used his index finger to demonstrate how the flower spun once you barely pushed it. you smiled blushing at how thoughtful the gift was.

“sae- im going to cry…this is literally the sweetest thing ever.” you said with tears in your eyes as you reached over wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. he kissed back trying to hide the light dusted pink on his cheeks. he was proud of his gift through he didn’t want to show it. “okay now open your gift…” he grabs the box that’s been sitting on his lap for the past ten minutes. he pulls off the wrapping tossing the trash off the side of the bed then opens the box. he held it up and it was a keychain, a silver soccer ball keychain. the same one from the mall a couple weeks ago, he looked a bit confused m.

“before you start complaining open it…” you say holding onto his arm, your chin resting on his shoulder watching him open the locket. it was the very first picture you ever took together, especially when sae was still rocking those ugly diagonal bangs he loved. “oh god i look horrible” he mumbles staring at the picture. you watch his thumb trace over the small image of your smile before looking at you. he lens down and kisses your cheek. “i love it. ‘s nice” he say still staring at the picture while leaning into you. “im glad you like it. now stop pouting thinking you don’t know me because this gift just proves home much you know about me and more.”

comments and reblogs are very appreciated my lovelies

#blue lock sae #blue lock x you #blue lock x reader #blue lock #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae x you #itoshi sae x y/n #itoshi sae #sae itoshi #sae blue lock #itoshi sae blue lock

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t-horn-n · 2 days ago

Note

Hi! I loved your silco x hoh!reader! Would you be willing to write something for silco with a reader that has chronic joint pain?

— reductions and oxidations

pairing: silco x reader (female)

genre: fluff ?

summary: request from anon: “Hi! I loved your silco x hoh!reader! Would you be willing to write something for silco with a reader that has chronic joint pain?”

word count: 925

note: please let me know how I did!

“Don’t move,” you say, lowly, into the thug’s face whom you have on his knees facing the walls of some now abandoned storehouse.

He squirms beneath your hands, but you’re exerting enough pressure onto the juncture between his thigh and calf that he doesn’t go far. All the idiot and his brawn are responsible for is receiving and shipping out shimmer according to Silco’s commands—you can never keep the stuff at any single location for too long without asking for trouble. The guy kneeling before you oversees a comparatively small warehouse on the outskirts of the Lanes with a very little chance of getting caught by Enforcers. Nonetheless, he got cold feet and tried to bail.

And, well, Silco doesn’t exactly tolerate kinks in his plans.

It was a slow week for them, and they didn’t even have any shimmer to guard, so they were sitting around playing cards when you took their boss and sent him sprawling to the floor. Everyone else had made the prudent decision to vacate the building. That was fine. You only need a leader to send a message.

“You’re more of a fool than I took you for, dear.”

He writhes again so you squeeze the soft part of the back of his neck harder which makes your own hand ache, but unlike him, you don’t make mistakes.

“Silco requires very little of you, but you can’t even handle keeping track of a few things without running away with your tail between your legs?”

You feel him shiver beneath your fingers as you show him your gun.

“Wait! Wait!” he cries. “Give me another chance. I’ll prove myself. I won’t disappoint him. Or you.”

He flinches as you pull the trigger anyway, but you’ve shot the ground by his knee rather than the back of his head. His teeth chatter and you release him.

“I know,” you say, patting him on the shoulder roughly.

It’s warm and milky in the alleys on your way back to the Last Drop. Despite the late hour, people are awake and out. There are courtesans who wink at you in recognition as you pass by their street and pop-up food vendors who are perfectly willing to sell you a late-night bite. Tonight, however, your intentions are single-minded and lie in terms of returning home where you can use sleep to escape all the sensations that plague you during the day. You try not to flex your fists as you light a cheap cigarette—really the only kind you can get down there. You ache all over, like you always do, but it’s more than sore muscles. It feels as though within you are rusting metal gears that are constantly at odds with each other, teeth grating against teeth, and after brute jobs like these, it’s especially bad in your hands. There’s no one in the Undercity that enjoys a painless day, though, so you suck it up as best you can and move on with your life.

You swipe an abandoned drink as you make your way upstairs to Silco’s office. You finish it off and leave the glass on a table that sits in the hallway just outside Silco’s door and is already covered by a dozen other glasses you’ve left there.

You collapse into the chair sitting opposite his desk to, if for no other reason, relieve the pressure on your knees. Silco’s there, as he always is, poring over maps and spreadsheets and whatever other papers he has to worry about, even though it’s past any reasonable bedtime.

“I’m home,” you declare with no small amount of sarcasm. You left the muscle you had taken with you to the warehouse downstairs.

He diverts his attention away from his work to you, his orange eye slower to follow his brown one. Then he sighs, and you don’t know why until he reaches across his desk to pluck the cigarette from your lips and put it out in his ashtray.

“I thought we decided that you would stop smoking.”

“I’ll be lucky if it’s smoking that kills me.”

He offers you a pointed stare. He’s only worked up because Singed had mentioned that smoking worsens already bad joints, but you maintain that the world would be a much worse place if you started believing everything said by someone that crazy.

“I heard you let him live,” Silco continues, and you know he’s talking about the nice gentleman in the warehouse.

“Eh. My hands hurt. Wouldn’t want to overexert them.”

You sound mocking, but he lets it slide.

“You have a gun.”

You shrug.

“You don’t receive rewards for being kind in Zaun.”

“You don’t keep me around because I make bad decisions.”

He sighs again, but suddenly you fall forward onto his beloved papers, laying your head on crossed arms.

“You should go to sleep, too. You’re at risk of overworking yourself,” you say.

You feel his fingertips lightly brush the length of your forearm.

“The ink is probably wet on some of those,” he tells you.

“Oh well.”

He makes patterns on your skin lightly with his nail.

“Get up. Your neck will hurt in the morning.”

“It already does,” you murmur.

Silco rises.

“I’m not your father and you’re not a child. You’re welcome to stay here for the night.”

You groan, but follow him out of the door and down the stairs and through the streets of the Lanes. If you’re lucky, he’ll let you drag him off to buy a bowl of hot noodles and a hazardous looking drink.

— m. list

#x reader #silco x reader #silco #silco arcane #silco fanfiction #arcane x reader #arcane fanfiction #arcane season 2

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rafesslxt · 23 hours ago

Text

Happy New Year

summary: when your bf JJ doesn‘t give you your new years kiss, Rafe takes matters into his own hands warnings: kind of cheating?, friends telling you you deserve better, kissing, pda notes: thought about this under the shower words: 1,8k

2025 was only 10 minutes away. Hopefully the new year would be better for all of us.

"Oh we need new drinks to clink glasses!" Sarah‘s voices interrupted my thoughs about the last twelve months. "Yeah probably, let‘s get a few for everyone. I‘m gonna gelp you." John B said, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend‘s shoulder.

I looked at JJ and smiled softly at him. "You wanna come too? Gonna help them." He just shook his head and mumbled something under his breath that I didn‘t quite catch, but what I did catch were the reactions from the rest of the group.

That‘s how it‘s going for the last two weeks. JJ was in a bad mood lately and everyone got a taste of it here and there but I did the most.

"Alright.." i sighed and stood up from my seat between him and Kiara who looked at me, her eyes telling me I deserve better. As If she wouldn't tell me everyday. 'JJ is one of my best friends but so are you and you really deserve better than this.'

"You know.. we all love JJ but.." Sarah started as the three of us started to walk towards the bar. "I know. I deserve better and I -" before I could finish my sentence, I bumped into something.. someone.

"What are you doing here?" I heard Sarah‘s voice asking in disgust. My eyes wandered over the body I just crashed into, slowly upwards to the chest, then his neck and jawline. "Like watcha seeing, doll?" The voice sent shivers down my skin but the face put a slight scowl onto mine.

There was alway some kind of friction between me and Rafe but I always chose to push the little tingling in my stomach away when he smirked at me or when I felt his eyes lingering on my legs while walking in the heat of the island.

I always thought it wouldn‘t make any sense. First of all he‘s my best friend's brother and second of all the definition of trouble. And I think I had enough of that this year. Oh, and besides the fact, that he's the 'enemy' how the Pogues like to call him.

I just then noticed his hand on my hip, probably from crashing into me and stoppIng me from falling onto my ass. " Well I would If it wasn‘t for the unmatching character showing through your words." We always did this. Throwing a bait and wait for the other one to bite back.

"Hmm, why‘s that even you have such a sweet mouth, there are only so nasty words coming out of it?"

My cheeks turned red just the slightest bit and I rolled my eyes to conceal the effect his words had on me. "Let‘s go." I murmured to Sarah and John B, letting Rafe stand there with a smug grin on his face and his eyes laying shamelessly on my ass as I walked away.

As we arrived at the bar, we ordered drinks for the whole group. "I'll bring them to your table." One of the bar girls told us while writing down our order and then smiling sweetly at us. "Thanks." Sarah and I answered smiling back, John B giving her a polite nod, then walking back with us to our table. We were seated on a rooftop, right in front of the railing so we could see the fireworks at midnight.

Unaware of anything, Sarah pulled me back before I could walk back outside. I turned my head towards her with a confused look on my face when I saw her giving John B a look that told him to let us be alone. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

"I'm meaning this seriously, y/n. We really love JJ as a friend but as a boyfriend? When we say you deserve better, we mean you are selling yourself off way below your value and yes maybe he's gonna catch himself and get the stick out of his ass but do you really want to wait for that to eventually happen?"

I was taken aback by her words but not because they were cruel or mean but because they were true. I ran a hand through my hair and slightly pulled at my roots, trying to release some stress. "I get it, but what do you want me to do? Break up because he's acting off for two weeks?" She shook her head. "No, maybe don't break up but don't try to do everything right and nicely and just in the right tone so he won't get mad. Show him he can't treat you like that. I mean come on, even my brother is giving you more attention." She twisted her face a little at the end of her speech, looking over my shoulder and seeing her brother looking right back at us like a hawk.

Another deep breath ran through my lungs and back out of my mouth. "Alright, will do that." She smiled at me and took my hand. "Now come on before we miss midnight." I giggled and walked back with her, sitting back down between Kiara and JJ just when the waitress came with our drinks. Everyone smiled at her and thanked her expect JJ.

I rolled my eyes at his behavior, especially since he's always the one who complains about the kooks treating service people like trash. "What's with the eye-roll?" He snapped at me. "What's with your attitude?" I snapped right back, remembering Sarah's words. I didn't want to fight but I also wasn't in the mood to always nod and smile back as soon as he was acting like a bitch.

"Maybe it's just you." I gasped at his words and looked at him with wide eyes. "JJ..come on man." John B sighed and shook his head at his best friend. "What? Maybe it is her. Always complaining and shit. Can't I be in a bad mood sometimes?" I scoffed at his words and had to held back my laughter. "Sometimes? It's been like that for the last two weeks!" "Okay then fuck off If you can't live with it!"

The table went silent and everyone looked at him in shock. Without a word I took my purse and stood up from the couch we sat on. I pushed myself past him and the rest. "Y/n wait.." Sarah rushed but I turned around and looked at her. "No it's okay because indeed I can't live with this shit. I do deserve better. Enjoy midnight, please. I'm just going inside."

I gave her a small smile at the end, meaning it. I didn't want them to follow me. I wanted them to enjoy this moment. I got back inside and down the spiral stairs we came through an hour ago. I pushed through the doors as I crossed the hall, past the security's.

As soon as my heels hit the ground, I took them off and walked down to the beach where all the people responsible for the firework worked on it.

I took a look at my watch and saw new year was only a minute away. I rushed further down the beach, a little bit away from the firework but near enough to enjoy it. I was able to see the rooftop from here, guessing they were able to see me too. "There goes my midnight kiss.." I sighed to myself, looking over the ocean, the waves silently crushing against the shore.

"Depends on who you're hoping for." A deep voice followed my thoughts. My head spun around in surprise. "Rafe?!" There he stood almost right in front of me now. He came closer and looked at me like I was some kind of pray and about to run away. "What are you doing here?" "Could ask you the same. Letting your boyfriend treat you like shit again?"

Then I heard the people from the club screaming the countdown down from 10.

I turned back around, my back towards him. "What do you know." I scoffed, not really asking. Suddenly his voice was right beside my ear and I could feel the warmth radiating off his body onto mine. "I know that I would never treat you like he does. I would read every wish right off your lips, doll."

Before I could answer him he grabbed my hips and spun me back around, my front crushing against his for the second time today with my hands landing on his chest. I looked up into his ocean eyes, feeling myself drowning in them like I do every time I look at them.

"3...2...1... happy new year!"

And out of nowhere, I got my first new year's kiss. My lips crashed against his and while his eyes were closed, mine were ripped open in shock.

His hands wandered over my waist und pulled my body even tighter against his, my hands now slowly gliding over his chest and my eyes falling shut. One of his hands found their way to my face, laying on my right cheek. He cheekily but softly bit my bottom lip, my lips parted with a little gasp. He took his chance and slipped his tongue right into my warm and desperate mouth, groaning when he felt the tip of my tongue on his.

„Fuck..“ he growled, pressing me even harder against him if that was even possible. I moaned right back into his mouth before I pulled away just the slightest bit to lick his bottom lip and softly nibbling on it with my teeth in a teasing way.

It was like I forgot the whole world around me in that exact moment. I didn't remember JJ and me fighting. Damn I didn't even remembered JJ himself for a moment. My fingers grabbed his shirt, the need to feel him as close as possible slowly taking over me.

A little gasp, almost inaudible left his throath, his cheeks heating up just like mine.

We were so into it we didn‘t eve notice the whole group, also including Toppr and Kelce catching up with us after a few minutes. Sarah gasped loudly with big eyes and her jaw almost falling to the sand. "Oh my-" "what the fuck!" I heard JJ screaming.

I opened my eyes but didn‘t pull away. I saw Rafe lifting his arm behind me, not seeing the middle finger he showed JJ but I definetly felt the little smirk against my skin.

"Looks like you didn‘t took your chance.." Kiara giggled, earning a glare from JJ while Kelce and Topper clapped their hands and cheered loudly for Rafe.

Maybe the new year really is going to be a better one than the last one.

taglist: @supernaturaldawning @cardi-bre91 @aegonsslxt @juliet-017 @whyamireadingthis @gxdsfavgal @synicaljah @tiaajosephin

thank you guys for reading, let me know If you liked it 💌

xoxo sarah <3

#rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe obx #rafe cameron x you

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baphometsss · 3 days ago

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i think i figured out why epler's reasoning for having solas kill varric annoyed me so much. it's not that they had solas do an evil thing (my princess does a lot of evil things), it's that they had to have him do an evil thing to a beloved character purely to get people to stop seeing him as 'too sympathetic'. they weren't even gonna bring varric back, they literally brought him back to kill him off

what bugs me is that epler and the other devs don't seem to realise that the reason people found solas to be 'too sympathetic' in trespasser is not just bc he's an amazing character with so many facets to his personality. it's because the villain in the previous game was so one-dimensionally evil that he is fucking defined by it. with datv, they've established that this is the new narrative language of their villains. you don't identify solas as a villain because he doesn't meet that criteria of also being mindlessly evil; he's complex, and he has arguably good or at least justifiable reasons for pursuing his goals. if they took the time to give us even slightly more compelling villains like loghain, meredith, sampson or calpernia, then more people would have been better able to identify solas as the 'big bad' they try to sell him as.

instead we get these fascinatingly fucked up people who seem to exist solely to add padding to their otherwise boring, yet for some reason more narratively important, villains, like corypheus. i personally was willing to forgive the overall shittiness of corypheus of a character if we had got more from elgar'nan and ghilan'nain in da4. i was expecting more from them. these two were worshipped as gods for millennia. they achieved what corypheus aspired to be but only wound up being a molehill to their mountains. there were three bastarding games worth of precedent for them to be some of the most interesting villains we've had yet.

but instead we got spoonfed these 'irredeemable' villains who are, once again, shitty for their own mindless reasons. instead of doing the clever thing and making those characters actually interesting, to add more complexity and nuance to the game, they take cheap shortcuts like having solas stab varric to 'make him look worse'.

this game treats you like an idiot because it was made by people who wanted to dumb down a fascinating world that very much mirrors real life moral struggles and i'm glad they're actually getting flack for that now.

#datv critical #datv spoilers

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naridabarbi · 1 day ago

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ATTENTION; juju watkins.

Juju Watkins x Fem!reader

Warnings: angst (if you squint) , sexual themes and language, bad proofreading

A/N: im literally inlove with juju and nobody writes for her! ugh.

“JUJU” You sucked your teeth, frustration bubbling up as the girl continued to play Fortnite. She wasn’t giving you even half the attention you were craving, and it pissed you off.

“Juju!” you called again, lightly tapping her shoulder. Still, no response.

“PAIGE! You’re selling the damn game!” Juju raged, adjusting the headset you’d just bought her.

You huffed, crossing your arms, before deciding enough was enough. You snatched the headset off her head.

Juju immediately snapped her head back to glare at you. “What’d you do that for?” she asked, her voice dripping with annoyance.

“Because I’ve been calling your name for the last five minutes! I wanna watch a movie,” you said, pouting as you stood there, arms crossed.

Juju sighed, leaning back in her chair. “Okay, baby, one more game,” she tried to reason, but you were way past fed up at this point.

“If I wanted to be alone and ignored, I would’ve just stayed home, Judea,” you snapped, getting off the couch and storming toward her bedroom.

From behind you, you heard Juju groan before she started telling her friends she’d play with them tomorrow.

“Mama, get up,” Juju said, lightly tapping your thigh. You ignored your girlfriend, continuing to scroll through TikTok like she wasn’t even there.

Suddenly, you felt the bed dip, followed by soft kisses trailing down your neck. “I’m sorry, baby. Talk to me,” Juju mumbled, her face buried in your neck.

“I don’t wanna talk. Just go play your stupid game,” you huffed, rolling your eyes for extra effect.

Juju chuckled, clearly amused by your bratty attitude. She loved when you got like this—it kind of turned her on. Without a word, she slid between your legs, her body hovering just above yours.

Gently, she plucked your phone out of your hands, setting it aside. “Quit acting like that, baby,” she said softly, leaning down to press a kiss against your plump lips.

Even though her charm was undeniable, you weren’t planning on giving in anytime soon… or at least, that’s what you told yourself.

"Mmh- fuck baby!" You moaned out, one hand reaching out to grip onto the bed frame in front of you for extra stability.

"Mmhmm" Juju moaned into you, taking her hands and rocking you back and forth while stroking in and out of you with her tongue.

Rolling your hips in tight circles, you whimpered and gripped tighter onto the bed frame with now both hands as the pleasure crept up on you, "wait wait fuck- juju!" you called out as you felt circles being rubbed against your puckered hole and juju's tongue going deeper and faster inside of you.

You lifted one of your legs against the bed and reached back to grab Juju's head, pushing her further into you wetness.

"Im so close Juju, so close" You said, looking down at the girl under you noticing that her eyes were closed.

Juju opened her eyes and held the contact, loving how broken and submissive you looked for her.

Pulling back from you she licked over her lips and stood to her feet, slyly slipping a finger inside of the you, hearing a soft sigh from you once she was deep enough.

"You don't even know how wet you got me right now mama, you look so good like this." Juju spoke adding in a second finger and using her other hand to grab your neck, already seeing your cream coating her fingers.

She stroked in and out of you, burying her face into your neck and giving you soft kisses.

"Are you gonna cum from my fingers baby?"she asked already knowing what was coming next.

"Y-yes. please don't stop" You fought to get out, feeling yourself about to reach that special bliss you've been chasing since you two started.

"Come on, let me see it. I want it all over me baby" Juju whispered, planting another kiss on your cheek.

"Fuck!" You squealed as your body stiffened abruptly, your cum flushing out of you and all over Juju's fingers and her inner thighs.

"That's my girl, you did so good mama" The taller coaxed, slipping her fingers out of the warm embrace and into her mouth to clean them off.

#juju watkins #paige bueckers #paige bueckers smut #nika muhl #nika mühl #womens basketball

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wings-of-ink · 3 days ago

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How about a little something extra for your reading pleasure?

Below is the little story (around 3800 words) I posted about doing here. It's a fictionalized retelling of how we found our little Shadow cat. It's not terribly dramatic or anything, but it's a bit cute, especially for those of you who are a fan of Nathanael in the story. You get to see a little more of him at a different stage of his life. ^_^

~~~

Nathan stretched, looking up at the clear sky. It was bright, big, and beautiful, as always. Puffy clouds were rolling by, occasionally blotting out the sun, but only for a moment.

"It's gonna rain tonight," a voice said behind him.

Nathan turned, spotting his friend, Andrina, as she approached carrying a crate. "You think?" he asked, turning his face back to the sky. "Doesn't look that way to me."

"Here, you oaf, take this – it's heavy," she chided, thrusting the crate into his hands. "That's the last one."

"Thank you, dear," he said, lugging it onto the back of the wagon with the others.

"I'm tellin' you, cover that shit with a tarp unless you want all your merchandise soaked." Andrina heaved herself up on the side of the wagon, light ginger hair flopping over her face, concealing her bright blue eyes. "You have one right? I'm not helping you dry all this shit when we get home."

"Yes, Mother, I'll get right on it." Nathan laughed.

"If you weren't so bad at takin' care of yourself, I wouldn't have to mother you!"

Nathan rolled his eyes as he began to unfasten the tarp from the other side of the wagon. He sighed. He really needed to get something with a roof. Not that selling out of the back of the wagon was difficult, but it was becoming a hassle this way. He paused for a moment as he fiddled with the ties binding the tarp together. That feeling was settling in again. Something felt like it was missing. He was anxious, restless, feeling like he'd long forgotten something. He had hoped this feeling would leave him for good, it seemed as though he was wrong.

How long had he lived here again? Four or five years now? He liked living with Andrina and Erik, they'd become wonderful friends and he didn't want to leave them just yet or maybe ever. It had been long since he had such good friends. Settling anywhere for long always left him with these odd feelings. He hated it and wished he could just settle somewhere like most people did. But, if he wanted to try to live a somewhat normal existence, this was the way it needed to be. Maybe one day he would figure out a way to live that didn't make his skin itch with dissatisfaction. Maybe he would figure out why it was this way for him. Someday.

"Nathan?" a soft voice asked.

"Hm?" His attention snapped to the figure standing next to him. Erik – dark brown eyes peeked through his messy black hair with a look of concern.

"You did that thing again. Are you sure you don't need to see a healer about that? Andrina said your name but it was like you couldn't hear." Erik's thin bony hand gently touched his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I was just lost in thought. I promise I am well, my mind has just been loud lately."

Andrina reached across from her perch on the wall of the wagon. "Hand over the tarp, cloud-dreamer, and let's get on the road."

Nathan nodded, unrolling the tarp and giving the end of it to his friend as they all worked to secure it. Before long, they were on the road again and heading home. Andrina sat on the back of the wagon smoking her pipe as Erik sat at the front with Nathan while the horses walked the familiar path, not needing any guidance.

Erik nudged Nathan's shoulder. "I think I might know what's going on with you," his quiet voice said.

"Yeah?" Nathan raised an eyebrow. It was unlike Erik to speak up in such a way so casually.

"Yes, you should grow the beard." Erik smiled, trying to stifle a laugh.

Nathan snorted, raising a hand to feel along his chin. He'd kept it smooth for as long as he could remember. "Do you think I'd look good with one? Would it age me?"

Erik shrugged. "I think it would give you an attractive flair. Maybe make you look smarter."

"Ha!" Andrina laughed. "No, it'd make you look like one of those scammy so-called magicians that swindle kids for pocket money!"

Nathan pouted and Erik chuckled but notably did not disagree.

Erik went quiet again before taking a deep breath. "I think you're a little lonely."

Nathan almost laughed. "What? How could I be with you and Mother Hen always around?"

"There's different types of loneliness you know. There's a type for romance, for friends, for family – for silence…you just need to figure out which one tugs at your own heart. We've known you long enough to see the signs, even if you ignore them."

The conversation stopped there, giving Nathan a great deal to think about. Erik had a way of doing that to him. He was such a mild person but had a way of sneaking deep truths in without warning. And Andrina's uncharacteristic silence spoke volumes about her agreement.

Was it really that simple? Was he just missing out on something? But what could it be? He lived comfortably enough, had friends old and new all around, and his business was flourishing…what was missing?

"Hey!" Andrina called. "That little shop at the edge of town was opening today. We should eat there when we get home."

The men agreed and the rest of the way was filled with amiable silence and pipe smoke.

~~~

Andrina had been right.

It started raining halfway home. The bright sky slipped to grey as clouds blotted out the sun and a steady trickle began to fall. A cold chill clung to the wind from the north as well. When they arrived at the eatery, which appeared to be little more than a large shed with a stone oven in the center, they found a table without issue. It was late enough in the day, the rush of patrons clamoring for dinner had already gone. The warmth of the place was very welcome after their journey.

A clearly exhausted employee slapped three tankards on the table. "Welcome to Pista's Hut. We have ale. You get ale," they said, voice flat.

The three friends nodded, not about to argue.

"You're late for dinner, the cook will throw what we have left in the oven and that will be that. It'll be out in a bit." They walked away without another word.

Andrina chuckled. "Well, you two can never decide anyway, so this works in our favor. Ale's good at least."

Erik shrugged and picked up his tankard. "I'll eat anything."

Nathan sipped his drink, his thoughts still stuck on what Erik had told him earlier. The ale was good…

A while later, the server returned holding a metal tray and slapped it in the middle of the table. "Okay, we only had some dough, tomatoes, and a bit of cheese. The cook whipped this up for you. Smells good at least, and it's the best we got." They dropped a heavy cleaver on the table, making everything on it rattle. "Here's a knife to cut it. I'll bring more ale," they said before turning heel and walking away.

The three friends stared at their meal. What appeared to be a giant bit of flat bread was stretched wide on the tray, smeared with crushed tomatoes, bits of cheese melted on top. The bread was toasty in places and the top of the construction steamed, wafting a tasty fragrance into the air.

Andrina grabbed the cleaver, which Nathan quickly took from her. "Not after what happened last time, Andi."

She flopped back dramatically into her chair, cheeks puffing out. Erik covered his mouth as he tried not to giggle.

Nathan studied the food and began to cut the best way he could figure out. It was shaped like a pie or cake, so he split it into triangles. They each took a slice and began to eat silently.

After a few bites, they all looked at each other in silence, each waiting for the other to speak.

Erik began, "Is it just me or is this damn delicious?"

Nathan concurred, "It is absolutely delectable."

Andrina stuffed her slice into her mouth, working it around as it burnt her tongue.

The three devoured the construct, save for one small piece. When the server came to collect their dishes, they took the last bit, uncaring if strangers had touched it, and began to eat. The morsel seemed to cheer them up at least.

Thunder rolled outside as the friends finished their drinks. Home wasn't far at least, though they'd probably be soaked through by the time they reached it and put the horses and wagon away.

They piled outside after a time, huddled under cloaks as the rain continued. Nathan checked the cargo for tampering and the horses, slipping them a few sugar cubes for their wait, making promises of comfort to come.

He was about to load up when he heard a small clamor, like things falling, drawing his attention to an alley beside the eatery. It was dark, nothing but bins of waste scattered around.

"What is it?" Andrina asked.

Nathan shrugged. "Just thought I heard something."

He moved to the driver's seat of the wagon and was about to get seated when he heard something else.

Mew. Mew.

He stopped and looked again, still not seeing anything.

Erik leaned over. "Is that an animal? Look there by the bins."

Nathan couldn't see anything, so he went down the alley, walking slowly and listening.

Mew.

Mew…

Little squeaky sounds came from under a large bin. They ceased when Nathan reached it. He squatted low and peered under it, trying not to gag from the smell.

A little soggy ball of fur stared back at him with scared green eyes.

Nathan began to reach for it but stilled a moment. "Are you a rat? Are you going to bite me?"

Mew.

"No, you must be a cat…I think…" He scooped up the tiny thing.

Nathan brought the creature over to an awning with a lantern hanging so he could see. It was a tiny kitten cold and wet, no bigger than his palm. It mewed in distress but didn't try to get away from him.

"My, my you aren't very old. Is your momma around?" Nathan looked back down the alley.

"What is it?" Erik called from the wagon.

"A kitten!" Nathan answered. "I'll be a moment, I'm going to look for its mother!"

Andrina groaned dramatically and then laughed as Erik chided her.

Nathan held the kitten close to his heart to share his warmth as he slowly plodded down the alley, calling in a sweet voice for any critters. After peeking around to the back of the building and spotting nothing, Nathan headed back, finding that the disenchanted server from earlier was taking a crate into the alley.

"Excuse me, dear, have you seen a mother cat around here?" Nathan held the kitten up for reference. "This one appears to have gotten lost."

They shook their head. "Nah, that one has been out here all day. Saw it this morning. If the momma didn't fetch it by now, she's not coming back."

Nathan's heart sank. "All day? It's been raining…"

"Just leave it where you found it, nature will take its course."

"No!" Nathan suddenly spat. He held the little creature closer and then cleared his throat. "No…Sorry, I'll just take it then."

"Fine by me."

Nathan hustled down the alley back to his friends and hopped up into the wagon. Passing the reins to Erik, everyone stared at the little furball who had gone quiet.

"We have a cat now?" Andrina asked.

Nathan sighed. "We…have a cat now. For now, I suppose. I'll figure it out."

The little creature snuggled closely to Nathan's chest the whole way home. It didn't make another sound, happier now that it was warm and blocked from the rain. There was a pull at Nathan's heart, a clear sadness a the sight of the defenseless kitten.

Once home, they guided the horses and cart into the barn and Nathan left his friends in charge of the horses. This kitten was little and too young for solid food. They didn't have much to offer it, but if there was one creature who could help it was Jaala – the goat who hated him.

Erik seemed to be the only one whom the goat respected enough to milk her, but Nathan had some extra sugar to offer in exchange for a bit of milk to help the kitten. He found a crate, filled it with straw, and settled the kitten inside who began to mew as soon as the comfort of being held faded.

"Just a moment little one, I need to make sure I can feed you."

Grabbing the milk pale, he checked to make sure it was clean before facing Jaala. She glared at him immediately, snorting in displeasure and standing defensively in front of her sleeping kid.

"Sorry girl, just me tonight," Nathan said as he searched his pockets for sugar. "Here, to sweeten the deal." He held out a cube to the goat who glared as she plucked it from his hands, biting his fingers in the process. Nathan tamped down his reaction.

He placed the bucket down as the goat barely tolerated his presence. "I need just a little bit of milk. Do you hear the kitty? Just like your little one, he needs something to eat." Nathan offered another sugar cube which the goat snatched right away.

As she chewed, he positioned the bucket and knelt beside her, quick to offer another sweet to keep her agreeable as he began to milk her. He rationed the last two cubes to get enough for a good meal for the kitten, quickly packing up and giving the goat her space when he was done.

The cat continued to mew from the safety of its little nest. Nathan sat in the straw and plucked the furball up again, bringing it to his chest. Pulling a handkerchief from the inner pocket of his robe, he soaked a bit of it in the milk and brought it to the little kitten's mouth. It latched on right away, suckling hungrily at the cloth until it was practically dry. Nathan dipped it again and repeated the process until the little one had drank all there was. And with a full belly, it fell asleep in his hands.

Nathan took the crate and the kitten inside with him where his friends had started a good fire. He changed his clothes and put on something dry, keeping an eye on the little one. All of them sat around the fireplace, sprawled on the couches and rugs there.

"Sucker," Andrina chided with a smile.

Nathan sighed. "I couldn't leave the poor thing to die."

Erik's dog, a massive black and white hound, sniffed around the crate, wagging his tail happily before getting up on Erik's lap. "Reminds me of when we found you," Erik said, patting his dog's head.

Nathan wrinkled his nose. "Yes, yes, I'm akin to a half-drowned cat with no teeth."

Andrina began packing her pipe. "You gonna keep the thing?"

He shook his head. "No, I'll just make sure it doesn't suffer and I'm sure one of the shops or farms could use a mouser."

Erik and Andrina looked at each other and smiled. They knew better.

As the days went by, most of Nathan's attention was on the little kitten. Once it was all dried and cleaned up, fed and happy, it still didn't shut up – unless Nathan held it. He kept it close, swaddled around his chest in a sling since its little cries made him feel…odd. Many of the townspeople stared when they realized a small kitten was tucked close to his chest, but Nathan didn't mind. He was already the oddball in town as it was, he would be stared at and whispered about anyway, this just gave them something to actually chatter about.

He talked to the little cat most of the day, asking its opinion on prices and what goods would sell the best in the coming season. The little creature didn't have much to offer but helped Nathan think by just listening.

Jaala the goat even became a bit friendlier, she almost didn't bite. But thanks to her generosity, the little kitten grew quickly. It filled the little sling and was able to reach out far enough to tap Nathan on the chin with little claws. Once the little one was big enough, Nathan could tell it was a male, and quickly dubbed him, "Cat," and sometimes, "sweet boy" when no one was watching.

As more time passed and the cat outgrew his little sling, he instead rode upon Nathan's shoulders instead. The merchant was not short of offers to take the cat who was growing to be quite a handsome sight – completely grey from nose to tail with bright green eyes. He had a dignified appearance – a dignity which ended strictly at his looks, Nathan observed. He was rather inelegant for a cat, his timing for everything could not be worse and he had nearly killed Nathan no fewer than 15 times on the stairs. But the little thing had no fear of dogs, or any other creature large or small. Nathan knew better by now that it wasn't bravery – he was just too dumb to know better. Nathan turned all of the offers that he received down, of course, saying that the cat had a bit more growing to do…

A whole season came and went before folks stopped asking. Everyone but Nathan knew the little stray had already found a permanent home.

As he sat lost in thought in the barn, staring at his wagon, a little paw came up to pat his chin. Luckily, the scruffy beard there protected it from the wicked claws.

"What do you want, Cat?" he asked, absently bringing his hand to the cat's head and scratching. "Oh…guess I answered my own question." He laughed. "You have trained me well."

The cat reached up and rubbed his head against Nathan's new beard, enjoying the scratchiness against his fur. The rumble of purrs became loud.

Nathan smiled. "You really are my sweet boy, aren't you. What do you think we ought to do, hm?" He glanced at the wagon, the goods stored there were dwindling. The thought of traveling to refill his stock was a bit exciting, even if he didn't need to go very far. "I want to take you with me, but I worry…"

Moow?

"No, we tried the leash, you rolled around like it was a snake trying to eat you."

Mrrrr.

"You did too."

The cat huffed.

"And Andi says I'm the dramatic one…"

Meoooow.

"I do trust you, I just worry you'll wander off and get lost. You may look elegant, but you're not the brightest. And what if someone tries to steal you away?"

The cat turned fierce eyes on Nathan and stared.

"You are so strange."

"Says the man talking to a cat," Erik's voice responded, making Nathan startle.

"Blessed stars, you scared the shit out of me!"

Erik chuckled as he approached, sitting across from Nathan and his cat in the straw. "Well, I'm not sorry…I came to check on you."

"Check on me?" Nathan scratched down the cat's back, bringing back his purring.

"Mm-hmm, you're doing that thing again."

"Yes?"

"It's a little different this time. You're not completely despondent." Erik laughed. "It's been nice. You've seemed happier now that you have a pet."

Nathan shook his head. "I don't have a pet…I…" He stared down at the purring mess in his lap which was currently working its claws into Nathan's fine robe.

"No, no, you're right. You don't have a pet…You are the pet. That little grey thing has you completely wrapped around his paw. You wore him around in a sling meant for children for crying out loud."

"He was cold…" Nathan bit down on a smile.

Erik snorted a laugh. "You're sweet you know. And I want to say something as a friend. Something me and Andi have been talking about for a while now."

"Go on, don't hold back."

"We all have secrets. We all have private things that we desire – hopes and even dreams that we aren't always aware of…. In a strange way, I think you've found one of those things you've needed. You still try to deny it – you haven't even named the poor thing, and we all know that cat isn't going anywhere."

Nathan nodded.

Erik continued. "You're restless. I know you are. I don't know everything about you, but we've been friends for years now and I think you're trying to hide just how restless you are even from yourself."

The truth stung.

"I wanted to tell you that it's okay. Some people aren't meant to settle at all and others are only meant to settle once they've found what they need. Me and Andi aren't going anywhere, you know that. One day we may even go our separate ways, maybe partner up with a lover or something, but we won't wander far from here."

Nathan nodded.

"Figure out what works for you. You now have a little someone that will go with you now. You can always come home."

"Should I call you 'poppa' now? That was a lot of wisdom considering how much younger than me you are." Nathan laughed.

Erik lightly kicked him in the foot. "I don't know where it came from…I actually came out here to warn you."

"About what?"

"Your little bundle of joy took a huge shit in Andi's bed and she is furious."

"Again?"

Erik nodded.

Nathan tried to hide his grin. "Guess I'm on laundry duty today then…I'll get to it in a moment."

Erik stood, clasping Nathan's hand in his own for a moment before leaving him in peace.

The little cat reached up again, purring and rubbing against his beard. Nathan wrapped his arms around the little furball and lightly hugged.

"How do you do it?" he asked as if the cat could answer. "Are you a magic cat? Hm? You can tell me, just whisper your truth to me." Nathan turned his ear to the cat who only nibbled at it in response. "I don't think I've ever had a pet before…"

MOOW.

"Sorry, I don't think I have ever been a pet before." He sighed. "Fuck sake, Erik is right. I am horribly smitten, aren't I? And you do need a proper name…"

Nathan stared at the cat's expanse of grey fur. He recalled how whenever the cat chose to hide he was impossible to find. The only way to spot him in the darkness was to catch the glimmer from his eyes.

Nathan picked up his sweet boy, staring into his eyes. "You're impossible to spot in the dark, you are so completely grey that even your toes match, and you are always following me…you are always…in my shadow."

Meow.

"Shadow."

Mrp?

Nathan smiled. "My little Shadow."

#god cursed if #twine if #interactive fiction #extras #gc if extras #drabble #short story #sometimes your missing piece is a cat #gc if world

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babyboy555777 · 19 hours ago

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3 and then some~ Rafe and Barry

Summary~ you make a proposal to Rafe and Barry. Telling them one of your wishes one late night at a kook party held at Rafe's house.

CW~ Threesome, light name calling, mxm kissing, eating out, unprotected sex, rough rafe, soft barry. (Should be all)

~rafe! x barry! x female reader!~

You, Rafe, and Barry had always been somewhat close. Well, whenever Rafe and Barry actually got on decent terms again. It was always the three of you hanging out at Rafe’s house. Them doing drugs and you sitting back watching them snort lines off the table. Barry always came to Rafe’s party as 1. A supplier of course. 2. As a friend of yours and his. And 3. Well simply because he filled the empty air in the parties and made it all the more fun.

You and Rafe, like any other day before a party, drove to Barry’s to talk with him about what drugs he should bring. You laid on Barry’s couch legs propped up onto the back scrolling on your phone as they talked. “Some pot of course. Mostly sell it outside because last time people started smoking that shit in the house.” Rafe leaned back into the chair spreading his legs covering his mouth with his hand.

“I don’t know how much though I guess leave it up to you.” Rafe spoke up again. “As for the powder. Just for us to carry around. Sell it at the table and watch them do it like always. We don’t need people doing dumb shit with it.” Barry nodded his head at Rafe’s words. “I got it man don’t worry. We do this every time I don’t see why you still drive over here man.” Barry huffed and shook his head.

You looked from your phone looking at them both. “Both of you stress each other the hell out. It’s so unbelievable” you chuckled at your own words and shook your head going back to your phone. “Oh, now princess pipes up. Didn’t even talk the whole 20 minutes you’ve been here.” Barry rolls his eyes, and you do the same.

“Oh, bite me I’m just bored. Plus, Rafe told me not to chime in this time.” Rafe nodded his head with a slight smirk appearing on his lips. “Yeah, well that I did. I don’t need to be clouding my head with that blabber mouth running.”

“Oh, you can bite me too Cameron.” You rolled your eyes getting back onto the phone. He let out a sigh standing up from his seat walking over to you. “Come on don’t be that way.” He looked down at you. “Anyway, get up we got to go shopping.” He patted your thigh turning his head back to Barry.

“Call me if you need anything before tomorrow.” Barry nodded his head dabbing up Rafe. You got off the couch walking over to Barry giving him a hug from the side. “See you tomorrow night. Let us know when you’re on the way over.” He nodded his head once again and with that you and Rafe left to go shopping for tomorrow night's events.

You sat in Rafe's room curling your hair on his floor. The party is supposed to start at 8 p.m. you opened your phone checking the time. 7:15. You had enough time to finish your hair and get dressed up. You didn't want to overdo it, but you always wore a somewhat "casual" dress. Although Rafe and Barry always had a word or two to say to each other about what you were wearing.

As quickly as you could you finished up your makeup, since you got sidetracked by your phone, and started to undress and change into your black dress. It reached just below the mid of your thighs. Hugging your curves ever so tightly.

Once last look into the mirror you quickly grabbed your phone slipping it into your bra after checking the time 8:27 and heading downstairs. The house was already filled with many people taking shots, eating some of the snacks, and walking outside to smoke. You saw Rafe hanging in the living room with Topper and Kelce.

You placed yourself on the arm of the couch beside Rafe resting your arm behind his head. He placed his arm on your thigh continuing his conversation with Topper. You looked around the house as more people filled the area one by one.

It was all starting and you were ready. Each shot you poured down your throat the more you loosened up. Each one feeling more and more inviting as the burning liquid slid it's way down your throat.

Your phone buzzed in your bra. You pulled it out looking down at the text from Barry saying that he was finally here. You took your seltzer and made your way outside seeing his small black car parked on the curb. "Hey." You said excitedly making your way over to him.

He chuckled as he shoved his keys into his pocket walking closer to you as well. "Looks like little miss princess is already getting started." You chuckled pulling Barry into a hug. One of his arms wrapped around your waist pulling you closer to him. He took a long drag of the smell of your hair and soon released you.

Soon you, Rafe, and Barry all sat in the living room talking with anyone who had sat down. They did their sells, Barry occasionally walking outside to sell some one the pot he had brought with him, and Rafe stayed in the living room with you as he watched person after person snort a line.

Growing bored you made your way upstairs to Rafe's room having an idea of a lifetime. You pulled your phone out of your bra once again and opened up the group chat with the three of you. "You guys come upstairs to Rafe's room when you have the chance." you hit send and sat down on the chair at the desk waiting for them both.

Rafe and Barry both saw the text looking at each other from across the room. A slight nod from both of them and they made their way up. Rafe opened the door slowly with Barry walking behind him. You smiled at them gesturing them take a seat on the bed.

They sat side by side knees touching each other, both looking at you. "I want to propose something. And neither of you have to agree right now or agree at all really. We don't have to do it."

They both looked at you confused knowing you there was no telling what words would fall out of your mouth next. Barry nodded his head letting you go on. "I want to..." You tried to find the words and also tried to think if you should just straight up say it or lead into it. "I want to have a threesome with you two."

Both of their eyes widened a little bit. Rafe soon chuckled. "I'm sorry run that back." He pressed his lips together and furrowed his brows. "I want to have a threesome. With you guys. I've literally thought about it for so long and I don't know I just can't keep it in."

You sighed. "I can't even stop thinking about it. Every time the three of us are together, I want nothing more than this." Barry shook his head, and a chuckled snort left him. "Barry I'm being serious."

You sighed once more. "It's not even drunk thoughts, okay? I truly want this and like I said neither of you have to do it." Rafe and Barry paused looking at you. Rafe looked you up and down biting his lower lip. Barry stared at you simply shocked. "Yeah, I'll do it why not?"

Barry turned to Rafe. "Really?" He cocked his head. "We've all been friends long enough and I mean who are we if we both lie saying we haven't wanted her for so long. Come on Barry."

A slight blush appeared on your face and Rafe's words slipped his mouth. Barry nodded his head. "Okay yeah. I'll do it." He looked back at you and so did Rafe. their stares felt like hungry predators ready to pounce. Their eyes had delighted, and both of them started to breath heavily.

"Tonight?" You said standing up. "I mean it's late and not like it really matters right?" Barry and Rafe nodded their heads saying they'd do it now. Their stares sent a cold shiver down your spine making you want to crawl out of your skin. You turned to Barry moving your hair out of the way. "Unzip me please."

He brought his hands up slowly sliding the black zipper down your back watching as the tight dress now lost it's shape. You slipped the straps off your shoulders slowly letting the dress fall to the floor exposing your back to the both of them. Your black lingerie with lace laid still on your body.

You walked away from the dress standing between them. They both moved making room for you to sit in the middle of them on the bed. You sat down placing a hand on each of their thighs.

You turned to Rafe, then Barry, then back to Rafe. You slowly leaned in connecting your lips with his. In an instant he grabbed the bottom of your neck pulling you deeper into the kiss.

Barry watched as you and Rafe made out. You slipped your hand up and down Barry's leg soon making your way over to his now showing budge. Your hands slowly rubbed through the fabric of his shorts making him throw his head back letting out a small groan.

You pulled back from Rafe giving him one last peck before turning to Barry. He pulled you in the same as Rafe did kissing you ever so softly. You rubbed Rafe's leg up and down earning a sigh from him.

Rafe moved closer to you planting small kisses on your shoulders. He moved your bra strap down off your collarbone soon moving in closer to your neck leaving small love bites below your ear.

You groaned into Barrys mouth making you move your head back releasing the kiss from him. Barry did the same as Rafe making his way to your neck leaving the same but also different bites. You bit your lip holding back a moan as the two fought at war over your neck.

You grabbed them both removing them both from you. Rafe's hands roamed your waist. As Barry looked his now formed bites on your neck. You scooted back onto the bed and both of them looked back at you.

"You two." Barry and Rafe looked at each other confused. "Kiss." They looked shocked and could barely form words. "Come on like you guys don't already think about it." You chuckled.

They looked at each other a moment and nodded their heads scooting closer to each other. Neither of them had done this before, and truly they were nervous. Both of them leaned in grabbing each other's face with one hand. Barry slowly closed the kiss making their lips connect.

At first, they were both hesitant to even go but soon enough they started. Their lips moving at a slow pace. Rafe pulled Barry in even more making them deepen the kiss. You truly bit your lip at the sight of them.

You leaned back taking in the sight of them. Each of them hungrily fighting for the next move. You moved closer pulling them apart to take off their shirts as swiftly as possible. "Eager are we princess." Barry chuckled.

"Shut it." you huffed out. You pulled them further onto the bed sitting on your knees between the two of them not sure of what to do. Rafe and Barry smirked at each other as they started to roam your body with their hands.

Rafe pulled your back closer to his chest. He quickly unclasped your bra letting it fall of your shoulders just like the dress did moments ago. “You don’t need this.” He whispered in your ear.

Barry moved your legs straight helping you slide off your underwear. “Or these.” Suddenly you had felt so exposed in front of the two men. Heat rose up your body to your face. “Come on darling don’t get so nervous now. Isn’t this what you always dreamed about?” Rafe said as his hands moved up and down your arms.

It all did feel like a dream. The absolute best dream you could ever have. You truly prayed this was real. You shut your eyes tight as Barry ran his hands up and down your legs. “Looks like she’s already falling weak.” Barry said with a smirk planted on his lips.

Drew chuckled lightly in your ear. His hands finally made their way to your breast slowly massaging them in his hands. “God who knew you wanted us so bad. And here we thought we’d never have you like such a mess.” Rafe said before planting small kisses on the back of your neck.

Barry bent down leaning closer to your cunt. His breath hitting your entrance caused you to shift. Barry held your legs open looking up at you and your now opened eyes. “Fuck.” You said quietly biting your lip at the sight of him. He planted kisses all over your thighs as he held your legs open.

“God and to think we’d be so lucky to have her all for us right country club.” Rafe chuckled at the words that left Barry’s mouth but agreed. “Can’t believe she didn’t give us this idea sooner. And who would have thought she’d be so wet at the sight of us making out.”

Barry chuckled back leaning further toward your cunt. He placed a small kiss on your clit making you shutter and buckle your hips. You were at a loss for words. The image of Barry between your legs and Rafe gripping your chest leaving kissing all over your shoulders and neck. It was all so much.

“Fuck.” Barry groaned before flicking his tongue all around. Your head fell back into Rafe’s shoulder taking in a gasp of air. Rafe turned your face to him slowly making out with you as Barry’s tongue worked like magic. You moaned lightly in Rafe’s mouth.

Barry’s mouth moved at such a heavenly speed. Sucking on your clit and moving his tongue up and down and in circles. He pulled away making you pull back from Rafe’s now plumped lips.

Barry then soon slid two fingers in you moving in and out making you throw your head back again. Rafe took this as an opportunity to massage your clit. Moving his fingers in circles. listening to your moans in his ears made his dick rise even more. You could feel his boner poking you in the back making you want so much more than was being offered. You felt so needy and greedy with these men. God you just wanted so much more.

“She’s falling apart.” Rafe chuckled as he looked at you. Not a single word left your lips. Moan after moan erupted through the air making them both turned on so much more. “Let me get a taste hmmm.” Rafe slowly moved you off his chest replacing himself with Barry.

He leaned down just as Barry did and immediately got to work moving his tongue as best as he could. The newfound pleasure made it hard for you to even be reasonable at this moment. Your vision blurred and your mind was fuzzy. You grabbed Barry’s face pulling him into a deep kiss.

“Fuck me.” You groaned out against his lips. You could feel Rafe smirk against your folds as the words left your mouth. Soon he stopped his movements getting off the bed. He nodded at Barry to do the same. Both of them stripping down to nothing. They had you in awe.

Both of them side by side rocked your world. They fit so well together, and they couldn’t help but torment you. They both climbed back on the bed looking at just each other. They moved in close like they had did previously slowly leaning into yet another kiss. All you could do was watch as each one fought for dominance.

Their heads turning every so often not moving from each other. Lips now swollen and hungry for more. Barry was the first to pull away and Rafe patted Barry’s face as a way to say good job.

Both of them smirked before crawling on each side of you. "All fours now." Rafe said behind you. you obeyed throwing your ass in the air and your forearms resting in front of Barry's knees. Both of them stoked themselves at the sight of you.

"Fuck." Rafe grunted out. He moved his hands over your hips slightly gripping them. You took a hold of Barry's dick swirling your tongue around the tip making. He grabbed all of your hair bunching it up into a makeshift ponytail.

Rafe soon aligned his rock-hard cock to your folds. Swiping his tip up and down your folds making you moan on Barry's cock as you bobbed your head up and down.

Without warning Rafe slammed into you filling you up with cock make you let out a loud yelp. "Fuck." you huffed out. Barry grabbed your chin making you look up at him. He slowly slid his cock in and out of your mouth. Rafe continued his movements in the back.

Thrusting faster and harder than Barry was on the other side. "So fucking tight. Shit Barry you have to feel her." Rafe grunted as he gripped your hips harder leaving marks. Barry removed his cock from your mouth letting you sit up more in the bed.

With a few more hard trust and loud moans escaping your lips he pulled out switching places with Barry. Rafe planted his hips in front of you. With your shaky hands you reached for his cock sliding it in your mouth and stroking the rest with what couldn't fit.

Barry was gentler with you. He held your hips just as Rafe did but his stokes where slow at first not trying to hurt you. You hummed against Rafe making him bite his lip and throw his head back. "Fuck good girl." He smirked looking down at you.

"Faster Barry." You looked behind you as Barry thrusted in and out of you. He gave a slight nod adjusting himself before pushing further into you at a faster pace almost reaching Rafe's.

Everyone in the room panted and moaned. The room feeling steamy and almost suffocating in a good way. Soon you could feel your high reaching its peak. Barry felt your walls clench around his cock making his shut his eyes muttering words to himself.

You let out a gospel like moan as Barry slammed into you once more making all your walls crumble. He pulled out quickly and Rafe moved himself from your mouth both moving off the bed. Quickly you followed getting on your knees in front of them.

You grabbed both their cocks stroking them at a fast pace. Both of them a moaning and grunting mess as they too were reaching their high. "Fuck, come on baby." Rafe moaned out grabbing your hair.

Barry continued to shut his eyes tightly as he felt himself building up. Soon both of them shot their hot liquid onto your chest. Both of them grunting and breathing heavily looking down at you.

Rafe grabbed the back of your neck pulling you into a sloppy kiss against his swollen pink lips. After he pulled away Barry did the same. He pushed the hair from your face and quickly grabbed his shirt off the ground wiping you off. Rafe grabbed his shirt handing it over to you to slip on.

Both of them slipped their shorts back on as you sat down on the edge of the bed. "Fuck who would have known country club?" Barry chuckled at Rafe. "Who knew this be the best night of my fucking life. Fuck the party were staying up here the rest of the night."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hehe I had so much fun writing this hope you enjoyed

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kpop---scenarios · 1 day ago

Text

Always & Forever

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Reader

Warning: Angst, Hurt feelings, Smut (unprotected, oral f. receiving) 18+ ONLY. MDNI

Summary: You broke up with Hongjoong, thinking it was the best thing to do. But it wasn't and only left you both broken.

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: Merry Christmas, @potatomountain !! Here is your secret santa gift! I hope you enjoy! I promise it's not all sad! ♡

Networks: @ksmutsociety @mirohs-aurora-society

“Is he going? For sure?” You turn to ask your friend, Soomi, who stood beside you smoothing out your dress. Even though you were getting ready, you still weren't sure if you were even going to attend this wedding. You wanted to go, you wanted to support two of your friends and their decision to get married, but if Hongjoong was going to be there, you didn't know if you were going to be able to be in the same room as him.

It had only been a couple months since you ended things with him, and to say you regret your decision everyday was an understatement. You missed him, his touch, his laugh, even just the presence of him that made you feel so safe and loved. Leaving him was the hardest thing you had ever done but you did it for him. Hongjoong's career with his group was taking off, the group was gaining momentum, media exposure and he was spending a lot of his time in the studio, filming music videos, doing interviews and his time for you continued to dwindle. You could see how much it was bothering him to not see you as much and to be honest, you didn't want to start to resent him for his lack of time and attention. You knew he loved you, and you loved him but to just love someone from afar wasn't enough. You knew that he wouldn't be the one that would end things with you. He would continue to kill himself trying to do everything for his group and still try to make time for you.

So you did it for him.

You went about it in the wrong way, instead of sitting down to talk to him, one night when he came home late, you decided to pick a fight about his lack of care and attention, knowing this would likely be the last time you would be around him. And it fucking hurt.

“What do you mean you're done?” He asks, setting his keys down on the table. You sat there with your arms crossed, trying to keep your face neutral.

“I can't do this anymore. You're never around. I don't get to see you, I barely talk to you anymore. I feel like I'm single, I might as well actually be single.” You yell.

You watch as his shoulders slouch, he looks at the ground, sniffling.

“Baby.” Hongjoong begins. “I'm doing this for us… for our future. Just… just give me some time and I promise I'll have some time off.” He says.

“I don't have any more time to give.” You murmur. “It's been long enough. I'm fucking lonely.” You whisper.

“Please.” He begs.

You needed to sell it. You needed him to stop. You needed to get able to go and make sure he wasn't going to try and stop you.

“Can we talk it out? Please.” He asks.

“Hongjoong, stop.” You sigh.

“Y/N, baby, please don't do this to me. Please don't leave me.” He cries, walking towards you.

“I don't love you anymore, Hongjoong.” You scream, tears spilling down your cheeks. He stops in his tracks. His eyes are wide, his mouth hanging open slightly. He stumbles back as he stares at you. Your hand flies over your mouth.

“I-” You pause. “I'm sorry.” You whisper, pushing your chair back. You run outside of the apartment, slamming the front door behind you. Leaving the man you loved more than anything, shattered, broken and alone.

You hadn't seen him since that night, and the thought of seeing him in the flesh was a terrifying thought.

“Yeah, he is.” Soomi tells you.

You take a deep breath as you finish getting ready. You were going to go. There's always a chance of seeing him while you're out, you might as well do it in a setting where you can semi control the interactions. You were sure you'd be able to avoid him, or any general area that he was in. You were strong.

“Are you still coming?” She asks.

You nod your head. Your throat was dry, you didn't think you could even whisper a yes in the moment. Nerves were taking over your body as you put the finishing touches on your favorite wedding outfit, your hair done the exact way you liked it.

You sighed loudly as you stared at yourself in the mirror, wondering if Hongjoong was thinking about you right now like you were about him. You hoped he was, even if he was thinking about how much he hated you.

“Ready?” Soomi asks, nudging you with her shoulder, bringing you out of your thoughts. You smiled at her, again nodding yes as you followed her out the front door. The two of you head down to the front entrance of the complex, to the waiting cab sitting out front.

The entire drive to the venue you felt like you couldn't breathe. Earlier you were a little excited at the thought of possibly seeing him but now you weren't so sure about it. What if he yelled at you in front of everyone? What if he cursed you out? What if he took one look at you and turned around and left? There were a million scenarios that ran through your head on the 45 minute drive. You felt like you were going to pass out.

It took Soomi a few minutes to break you out of your silent panic once you arrived outside the venue. She squeezes your hand in support as the two of you walk into the beautiful and large chapel. Hongjoong is suddenly erased from your mind for a few moments as you take in the beautifully decorated venue. You smile and wave at other friends who were already seated for the ceremony. You looked around and didn't see Hongjoong. You felt your body relax, as you chatted with friends, while you all waited for the music to start.

Once it did and there was still no sign of Hongjoong you were able to relax even more. He slipped from your mind once again as the groomsmen, the groom, flower girl and bridesmaids began walking down the aisle. You all smiled and stood up as the music changed and your gorgeous friend walked down the red carpeted aisle with her father. She looked so beautiful and so happy, walking down to her future husband who stood there in awe of her. And just like that, your mind flashes back to Hongjoong and the memories of him telling you that he was going to marry you and give you everything you'd ever need and or want.

“I only want you.” You giggled.

How that was still so fucking true. It was him. It always was him, and it always would be. And if it was meant to be, the two of you would be able to find your ways back to each other.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife!” The priest smiles. “You may kiss your bride!”

The church erupts with cheers and clapping as they share their first kiss as husband and wife, walking down the aisle, hand in hand, grinning from ear to ear.

“Let's go get a drink.” You whisper to yourself friends, all of you giggling as the crowd leaves the ceremony, heading to the reception across the street. The first thing you do is head to the bar, ordering drinks for your table. You turn around, leaning against the bar, watching everyone mingle, seeing the bride and groom happily sit with each other, talking to guests. You were so happy you decided to come along, as it turned out there was nothing for you to even worry about.

Until there was.

You turned around to grab the drinks and head back to your table, and while on your way, you almost dropped all 5 drinks in your hands. Hongjoong walks into the bar. He was wearing an all black suit, his shirt unbuttoned a little. His hair was now black, slicked back and he looked so fucking good.

The two of you lock eyes, your heart begins to race. Did you smile at him? Talk to him? Nod? Do nothing? You weren't prepared for this, in all your panicking you never figured out what you would do if you actually saw him. Before you could decide on what to do, he breaks eye contact, dropping his head and moves through the crowd of people. You set the drinks down, your heart felt like it was going to fall out of your chest. He looked so fucking good, but broken, and you were the one to blame.

You had never prepared yourself for what it would feel like to see him. You hadn't realized it would hurt this much but you supposed you deserved that feeling.

“You okay?” Your friend asks, seeing your smile now gone.

“I saw Hongjoong.” You sigh.

“And?” One asks.

“He stared at me, dropped his head and walked away.” You murmur, taking a sip of your drink.

“Just try to relax.” Soomi smiles. “Everything always works out the way it's supposed to.” She says.

“Yeah.” You breathe. “I guess.”

It didn't help. You wanted him back, but was it too late? Would he ever take you back? You weren't sure but something inside you kept telling you to try. You looked around the bar for him, and once your eyes landed on him, it was hard to look away. You continued to steal glances of him for the next hour, taking in his smile that you've missed so much. You could hear his laugh despite all the noise in the bar. You could smell him even though he kept his distance from you. You kept drinking, downing more drinks than you should have, taking a couple shots. Your inhibition was lowered, you were prone to making poor decisions when you were drinking, and trying to talk to him while intoxicated absolutely fell under that category.

“I'm doing it!” You announce, standing up, slamming your hands down on the table. “I'm going to win him back!”

“You don't think you should wait? Until you're sober?” Soomi asks.

“Sober, shmober.” You murmur. “I have to talk to him. I can't just keep staring at him from afar.”

You walked away from the realization of what you were going to do sobered you up a little. You found him with ease, just as he was setting his drink down and walking towards the bathrooms. You followed behind him, calling out for him. Either he didn't hear you, or he was ignoring you. You were sure he was ignoring you.

He walked into the men's room, and without any hesitation, you walked in right after him.

“Kim Hongjoong.” You yell, his back was towards you. He lets out a deep breath, turning around to face you.

“What do you want, y/n?” He asks.

“I…” You pause. “I just… I miss you.” You whisper.

He laughs. A humorless laugh. “You miss me? You left me, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember very vividly.” You say.

“You don't love me anymore. Remember?” He says.

“That's not true.”

“It's not true, huh.” He chuckles. “So if it's not true then why did you say it? Why did you leave me?”

“Because.” You pause, looking him in the eyes.

“Because what? You were lonely? I was focusing on my career too much? What?” He asks.

“Because I knew you wouldn't leave me. And I knew if we continued down the path we were going, you'd kill yourself trying to make me a priority along with your work.” You whisper.

He stands there, staring at you, his eyes wide. “Why wouldn't you talk to me?” He asks.

“What good would that have done?” You respond. “There was no other way around it. The group was taking off, you were getting busier and busier, what limited time you had was going to become non existent. Tell me, did you feel guilty being away from me for so long and for so often?” You ask.

“All the time.” He murmured.

“Exactly. But these last couple months…” you pause, the tears beginning to come. Your lip trembles. “Have been the worst of my life. I fucking miss you. I miss even just talking on the phone with you. Facetiming, the random sporadic nights we get together. I'd trade everything I have just to have those with you again. I don't care if I have to travel halfway across the world to see you, I'll do it. I just want you.” You whisper.

You weren't sure what you were wanting from him at this moment, but something would have been nice. Instead he stood there, staring at you, not saying a word.

You were beginning to get nervous. Maybe he moved on? Maybe he didn't want you anymore?

“Please. Hongjoong, please say something.” You whisper.

“I -” he pauses. “I can't do this right now. I have to go.” He says. He walks towards you, passing you, whispering an apology. He leaves you standing alone in the men's bathroom, wondering if telling him any of that was a mistake? You drag your feet as you make your way back to your table. You were no longer in the mood to celebrate.

“What happened?” Your friends ask as you grab your purse.

“I don't really want to talk about it.” You say, forcing a smile. “I'm gonna go.” You whisper, trying to keep the tears inside. You didn't want to cry in a crowded bar.

So you swallowed your tears, along with the lump in your throat as you made your way outside, the fresh air hitting you like a ton of bricks. You managed to find a cab through the tears in your eyes and with a shaky voice, told him where you needed to go. You leaned against the door, looking out the window as the rain started to pour. You watched it continuously run down the window as Hongjoong's words played in your head over and over again.

“I can't do this right now. I have to go.”

“I can't do this.”

Did you hope that he told you he missed you and desperately wanted you back? Absolutely. Were you expecting it? No, you weren't but you were hoping that he would have at least stayed and talked things out with you.

When you finally pulled up to your apartment, you paid the cab driver, and made your way upstairs. The second you opened your front door and stepped inside, the silence consumed you. It was deafening.

You dropped down to your knees, finally letting out the cries you had held in for over an hour. Curling up into a ball on the floor of your kitchen, sobbing, pleading to whoever that was listening that you didn't ruin any chances you may have had in getting him back.

You weren't sure how long you laid there, but it was long enough for there to be a puddle of tears left on the floor where you were. After you picked yourself up off the floor and shook it off. You cleaned up the puddle, and headed for the shower where you tried to wash off the feeling of regret. But it wouldn't wash off. No matter how much you scrubbed yourself, no matter how much soap you used, you couldn't get rid of that horrible feeling.

You stepped out of the shower, wrapping yourself in a towel. You wanted to crawl into bed, not even going to bother to get yourself dressed and you were going too but the moment you pulled back your blanket, there was a rapid knocking at your front door. You tightened up your towel, uncaring of who was on the other side of the door. You pulled it open, your eyes still red and puffy from crying.

“Yes?” You say as the door opens, but your eyes go wide. “Hongjoong.” You whisper.

“You know, y/n, you've got a lot of nerve.” He sighs. “Coming to me, out of nowhere, telling me you miss me and love me and that you left me for me.”

“I know.” You whisper.

“I want to hate you. I've wanted nothing more than to despise you for shattering my heart like you did. I've tried to hate you.” He says.

You nod your head. You deserved his hate.

“But I can't. Because I'm still so fucking in love with you.” He says. “It never fucking wavered even when you told me you didn't love me anymore. I still loved you with everything I had. I still do.”

The tears start again, rolling down your cheeks. Your entire body trembling as the man you loved so much stood before you, confessing how he was still in love with you.

“And I don't think I'll ever stop.” He says, stepping inside your apartment. You step back, he closes the door behind him. Without a second thought, his hand is on your cheek, and his lips are pressed against yours.

You wrap your arms around his neck, his arms wrapping around your body, holding you tightly. You missed the feeling of his hands all over your body. Hongjoong deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue into your mouth. You grasp at his shirt, trying to pull it off of him. You needed to feel him, skin to skin. He chuckles, breaking the kiss. He grabs your hand, pulling you towards the bedroom he has spent so many nights in before. You sit down on the bed, your towel still on but loose. He stands in front of you, unbuttoning the dress shirt he was still wearing. You groan at the sight of him as he drops his shirt down onto the floor.

“I'm so sorry.” You whisper as he crawls onto the bed, hovering over you.

“Shh, baby.” He smiles, peppering kisses across your face, down your neck, onto your chest. He opens up your towel, running his hands over your body. “I've missed you so fucking much.” He whispers, kissing between your chest, down to your stomach.

“Please, Hongjoong.” You whimper.

“What do you want from me, baby?” He asks.

“You. I want you inside me.” You breathe.

Hongjoong smiles, standing back up as he unbuttons his pants, letting them pool around his ankles. He steps out of them, pulling down his boxers, letting his cock spring free. You bite your lip,

“Patience, baby.” He whispers, pulling you to the edge of the bed, settling in between your legs on the floor. He spreads your legs, licking his lips before he licks a long strip up your already soaked cunt. He moves his tongue between your lips, flicking your clit with a sense of desperation. You moan loudly as you try to buck your hips. He pushes you back down, holding you down as he sucks on your clit, swirling his tongue around, making you grasp the bed sheets. It felt so fucking good, it had been so long, you felt like your whole body was about to explode.

“Hongjoong..” you pant. “I'm gonna cum.” You gasp.

You can feel him smile between your legs as he moves his tongue faster, pushing a few fingers inside of you.

“Fuck.” You gasp, clenching yourself around his fingers. He quickly thrusts them in and out of you, moving his tongue faster and faster, pushing you over the edge within seconds. Your orgasm explodes through your body, causing you to pant loudly. Hongjoong wastes no time, pulling his fingers out of you, using your juices to coat his cock.

“Get on your hands and knees. ” He says, stroking his cock. He crawls onto the bed behind you, landing a hard smack on your ass, making you whimper.

He lines himself up with your entrance pushing himself inside of you before gripping onto your hips. You roll your eyes back as he pushes himself as far as he can inside you, digging his fingertips into your hips. You gasp loudly as your cunt stretches from his cock, your arms giving out on you as you lay your face on the bed with your ass in the air.

“That's right, baby.” He groans, slowly pulling his cock out of you before slamming back inside, making you yelp.

“Faster, please. Fuck me harder.” You gasp, needing him to wreck you. His grip on you tightens as he thrusts faster and harder, ramming his cock into you over and over. He leans over you slightly, moving his hand to your head, pushing your face into the mattress.

“Fuck! Right there.” You cry out, gripping the bed sheets even harder than before. You squeeze your eyes shut while he pounds into you.

“I've fucking missed you.” He pants. You move your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit as Hongjoong fucks you mercilessly.

You can't speak, only moan as you rub your clit faster, matching the pace of his thrusts. Your heart was beating rapidly as your second orgasm builds, only taking seconds to hit and flow through your body, making you jolt.

“I'm so fucking close.” Hongjoong grunts. He holds onto you tightly as he fucks you faster, moaning loudly as his orgasm finally hits. His thrusts slow down as he releases his load deep inside you, coating your walls with his cum.

“Fuck.” He breathes, pulling out of you. You both collapse onto the bed, the smell of sweat and sex filling your room.

Your head rests on his chest, no words are spoken while the two of you catch your breath, soaking in the presence of each other once again.

“I really missed you.” You whisper.

“I'm sorry I made you feel like you needed to end things for me to be happy.” He says, his finger trailing over your back.

“I'm sorry I did that too. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time.” You reply.

“Please don't ever do that again.” He says. “Talk to me if you have concerns.”

“I will. I don't want to be apart from you again. We're in this together.” You smile.

“Forever.”

“Forever and Always.”

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