#Like the fuck you get after being so insensitive about other needs and being rude to others..

[abrill]

it doesn't feel good to another friend of mine struggling with her roommate issue

[hazbin-a-helluvamagines]

Howdy howdy! Could I request Blitzø, Fizarolli and Millie (separate, not poly) with a chubby s/o?

No worries if you're not interested in writing this one. Take care 💛💛

"More To Love" ; Blitzø, Fizzarolli, Millie

AN: Aw, hun, don't worry about it!! These are always some of the sweetest requests!! I'm super thin tho, so if something is inaccurate or offensive, please tell me!!

Also, new format who is SHE??

Let's get this out of the way: Blitzø does not care. Like, at all. Sometimes, you aren't even sure he notices your appearance.

Which, yes, is very comforting. He's attracted to you regardless, he wouldn't be with you if he wasn't.

Blitzø's favorite thing in the world is to cook for you. Half of his attempts could be considered lethal, sure, but hey, he's fed himself and his daughter for at least a few years off of his skills, right? He'll do his best to adhere to any special diets and eating routines you have, too, since he totally understands if you have any insecurities. He knows how cruel Hell and earth alike can be toward anybody who isn't a stick figure.

Allergic to nuts? Sweet, guess what's no longer in the house. Pescatarian? He's suddenly the hugest fan of fish. Vegetarian? That's fine, he didn't like meat, anyway. Even though he did.

He's a dad, after all, and if he's that doting with his daughter, imagine how doting he is with his partner. You're the light in his dark world, and he hates the idea of you ever feeling like anything less than you really are.

Now, granted, sometimes, some of the things he says sound insensitive, but he really is trying to learn more about your situation. So he gets some very... er... sweet-intentioned, but possibly perverted-sounding nicknames for you.

"Heeeeyyy, Sexy~." "Woah! Got someone you're tryna impress today~?" "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes~?"

I wouldn't be surprised if your face is eternally red, like, at all.

If you ever confessed to actually being insecure about your body... oh god. Good luck, that's it for you.

He's basically going to be so touchy on you, it'll be like you have a Blitzø-sized tumor attached to your hip.

If you've got a tail, Blitzø will ensure that your tails are basically always intertwined.

Unless you tell him to stop, of course. He's a dick, but he's not that much of a dick.

But he'll make sure you're always comfortable and feeling loved and basically worshipped. Seriously, have you ever seen an assassin get pissed off because somebody insulted their S/O?

Well, you did after meeting him.

And it didn't end pretty for the other person in question.

Millie is someone who grew up around a lot of farm folk, a lot of whom were also on the chubbier side. It happened, it wasn't a bad thing. If anything, she liked it more on you.

And she'd be the one who'd actually fucking maul someone over insulting that trait of yours, my god- I'm not sure if there's ever been so much blood from one person-

You're insecure? Aw, you've got a little sweetheart right at your side.

"Baby, you're the cutest thang I've ever seen! I could just gobble you up~!"

As long as your physique doesn't pose any issues for your health, she's all for it! She finds it so cute and she loves how soft you are!!

And although she's never experienced it, herself, you can always count on her endless support and love, regardless of whatever it is you may need!

She'll always try to be right next to you, both because she's ready to strike if anybody dare makes a rude comment toward her lovely S/O, but also because she just adores you that much.

Like Fizz, she'll also wrap her tail around you when she wants cuddles because it's a way that imps like her often show love.

Another thing I think she'd like is comparing hand sizes.

And cheek pinching!! My God, with chubby cheeks, she'll be on them like glue!!

"Ain't you just the cutest lil honeybee in the hive, baby~? Yes you are! I love you so much~."

Honestly? Marry her. She's sweet, she's loving, she loves your appearance and running her hands over your curves, she adores you.

Plus, she'll protect you from fatphobic assholes. What's not to love?

[screamting]

TRIGGER WARNING: extremely insensitive depiction of how much one is ‘allowed’ to react to their trauma and grief. (there is NO ‘how much one is allowed’, it’s trauma, it sucks, there’s no right way to react or right time limit for how long to grieve. One grieves for how long they do or want or need.)

Sorry for dragging so much angst into your inbox but do you think people treated Bruce after his parents’ murder like he doesn’t deserve to grieve or be sad? He’s the most privileged orphan in all of Gotham with all the millions of money, the mansion, the personal butler, best education and a secured future as the CEO of Wayne Industries? So what if the staff leaked personal information of his grieving phase, so what if people gossip about a secret relationship between the butler and the deceased Martha, speculating if Bruce is actually their illegitimate kid, so what if the Kane’s avoid him, so what if the other children bully him, so what if he gets kidnapped a lot for the money, so what if reporters are trying to interview him on how exactly his parents died and what their last words were or why they even went through that sketchy looking alley to begin with? He’s got money, he’s got a future, hundreds of children go through the same of worse and they don’t have the opportunities that he has. He has a roof over his head, his needs are always met, he never has to be concerned about money, he’s living the dream of many citizens. The loss of Matha and Thomas is tragic, absolutely, but the city is grieving them just the same because with their deaths all of their chances for a better future went down the drain.

This does not reflect my opinion, this is a horrible reaction to a child losing their parents, nothing of what I wrote as an example is in any way acceptable behaviour. Hope that's clear.

I don't mean to sound rude but if you decide to answer this, I don't want some idiot coming at you or starting an argument because I accidentally worded my ask offensively.

I mean

But yeah no people act like huge assholes even when they don't think you're rich and shit.

Like. Listen. If Thomas Elliot is still around, he's absolutely jazzed Bruce doesn't have to listen to his parents anymore.

If Bruce gets to follow Jewish mourning practices he gets a week to fall apart just fucking completely and then a 30 day period of sort of interacting with the world and the rest of the year is meant to slowly return to 'normal business'

Bruce probably doesn't get that or have it enforced. He's not in charge of the funeral or burial-- and the Wayne parents don't have family left to execute their estate either. So presumably they have a lawyer, or business partner, or friend who will execute it. Maybe it's Leslie. Maybe it's Lucius Fox. Maybe someone else? I doubt it's Alfred because Alfred has Other Shit To Do, especially if he's named as Bruce's guardian in the event of a Crisis.

Anyway. The funeral is either reported on or broadcast. Alfred simply cannot let Bruce go looking at all disheveled, and he's maybe not wrong about that. Bruce definitely gets the week off school. Maybe a bit longer. But then he does... have to go back. He still has the rest of the year to mourn and get back to business as usual right?

...anyway this is a long post to say that Bruce is usually the one actually thinking those things. Like. Other people may also be thinking them but there is some truth to that if your parents are both violently murdered usually you're in a a much worse position than Bruce is!

And someone has failed to reassure him that it money and a place to live literally doesn't make up for your family being dead. Literally we have wrongful death suits that can pay out damages but it's the compensation that that person can no longer help make a wage, because otherwise it would be impossible to put a number on the amount of money that would make up for someone being dead.

This thing happens to other people all the time in Gotham. And our media is filled with examples of it being worse. Losing the loving parents is usually step 1 on the trauma conga line. But then Bruce's just stops. He goes back to school. People are sorry for his loss the first year. After a couple more they start saying that Bruce doesn't have to sneak out or worry about being grounded because there's no one telling him what to do. Yeah of course it sucks but look on the bright side right? No bedtime. First car is a lambo. Most parents suck. Yeah, you get along when you're a kid and don't know any better, but that just means it was probably good they died while you had a good relationship with them, right?

You know those posts about "white middle class people want trauma soooooo bad?"

That's a sign of trauma. Is that you want something external to explain why you feel like shit internally.

Probably throwing himself into studying helps to try and be a distraction. Probably a lot of martial arts training to try and exhaust himself and yes make himself feel hurt and bruised to explain why he doesn't want to get up in the morning. The Batman 2022 novel tie in had him as a street racer for a while which is going for an adrenaline high after nothing else feels good anymore at all, which is ridiculous, because he has more money than God and no one to tell him what to do with it.

The issue is that Bruce doesn't think he should feel as bad as he does, because it's been like eight or ten years now, right? He's so much better off than anyone else who has lost their parents. So he should be grateful about it instead of lonely and broken.

And everywhere he looks externally will reinforce this, whether they intend to or not.

Alfred hasn't ever told him he needs to stop mourning them, but Alfred's always had a stiff upper lip and kept his own mourning as hidden as possible, trying to take care of Bruce without realizing he's Bruce's model for behavior now.

Every single parental approval slip is now a guardian approval slip. Alfred has lawyers with automatic cease and desist instructions on true crime investigations and documentaries but there's not much they can do about non monetized podcasts and videos or news reels revisiting the anniversary. There's a layer of insulation between himself and the people on phones trying to call him but if he gets any amount of social media people talk at him about the One thing they know about him. And of course sometimes there's a newspaper article or opinion column about how Gotham's future died with the Waynes, how they're all mourning their past possible future, and if it's before Bruce is 18-- all that will say is that they are survived by their son, who, obviously, does not carry the future his parents promised with him.

[srslysierraa]

Red Wall.

Prompt ;; Are you tired? Are you sure? I mean, you didn't really do anything today so that's weird. But hey, i suppose we all have those days. So what's his reaction when you're so tired you just kinda, let someone walk all over you? Well, i hope this'll give you a bit of an insight.

Type ;; hcs – one shots, angst, comfort.

Chars. Involved ;; G. Freddy [Fnaf SB]

A/N ;; I'm gonna make a Genshin Version of this, just thought i should get this one out of the way first. Self-indulgent and a bit of a vent(?), just something i wanted to do.

Glamrock Freddy.

Rough day huh?

Yeah, it's kinda obvious.

Well, you unfortunate soul, your day is just not done yet.

As you drag your feet after the long day at work, you just had to discover that two of your friends has started arguing.

One being your actual close friend, one your ex that you have agreed to stay "friends" with you.

So they fought, about some misunderstanding you asume.

As you try to get a clear info on the situation, you went to your actual friend first, as they reveal that your ex has been very fuckin' insensitive as they were trying to vent about something.

"He kept going, “oh if you walked a day in my shoes, you'd be wanting to go back into yours in less than a day bla bla bla-” I'M SICK OF IT!" your friend shouted while scrambling to get some mechanical parts for Monty in a fit of rage, you frantically tried to comfort them, telling them you'd talk with your ex about it soon enough.

"I'm so fucking glad you broke up with him, (Y/n). He- ugh, he even said, “ooooh you're taking your life for granted bla bla bla i had it worse!!” LIKE? WHAT THE FUCK? Okay whatever, i hate him so much."

Honestly, if it's true.

Then it's honestly quite understandable to be upset.

You tried comforting them again, before going to your Ex to confirm what has happened. It bugs you that you had to do all this while working in this massive Pizzaplex too.

Soon enough you talked to him, and his reaction although disappointing, not exactly surprising.

"Damn, what did i do now." He said, looking away as he's obviously uninterested in talking to you.

What you both and him didn't know, was how Freddy actually went to fetch you cause Vanessa needed you for something, but stopped before reaching you.

He saw how you were talking to someone, your ex, he's quite familiar with him. Especially since you two got into the relationship while working here together, you two were just unbreakable.

And though it may be a bit mean, Freddy was quite a bit,, relieved when you two broke up, cause now you can focus on your job without getting distracted.

That's what he tells himself anyways.

Anyhow, he kept his distance as you talk, not wanting to interfere since well, that would be rude.

And maybe, just maybe, he's a bit interested in what you have to say as well.

You sighed, trying to brush his cold welcome that he immediately spat at you without a second thought. "You're such an idiot, why would you compare your life to theirs while they were venting???"

"Ugh, i was saying that they were taking theirs for granted when others, including me, been having it way worse."

You sighed, and he scoffed, as you try to gain enough energy to even- come up with an answer.

"And how do you know that?"

"(Y/n), I literally know about every inch of their life by now, it's literally not that bad."

"Look- do you even know how they feel-?"

Pointless back and forth continued, and with each response, you can't help but get even more exhausted than before.

Freddy frowns, though he kept himself in check, he believes you can fend for yourself, and if not, he'll step in.

"Can you even imagine telling someone how exhausted you are with your day only for them to go, “stop being dramatic, i had it worse.” ???"

"The fuck? Is that supposed to give some point?"

The orange animatronic can't help but feel so upset looking at how you were upset.

"I forgot these types of examples don't work on you."

"No, shut the fuck up, you're saying that me talking like that ain't gonna change a thing right? At least with how they feel? Well your logic don't apply to everyone, (Y/n)."

"That's not- oh my god, that's not even the point!"

And then there you go, explaining on how saying things or comparing yourself to someone else is the last thing that'll make em feel better.

You know, you would think this is common sense but ig the world just loves surprising you.

And you dated this man? Yikes.

-Freddy

Jk

Not really

"Well whatever, not like that's the only thing i said. It was more of a last resort to make them feel better about their life, because literally nothing else works. Obviously I'm no therapist, why did they even come to me."

"Still, you need to understand how invalidating you were."

"Please, i never took the relevance of their problems away. Whatever. Just kinda wished my help was a bit more accepted, instead now they're being the old shitty version of themselves throwing a tantrum."

From then on? You kinda just zoned out. You didn't hear the numbers of insults being directed at you or your friend, you barely had any energy left to care. And you definitely didn't hear the sounds of heavy metal legs walking itself to you and your ex.

You only started focusing back when Freddy speaks, robotic, yet somehow soothing voice boomed enough to get you out of your trance.

"Trust me, apologizing to them would be a bad call. Well, not like you'll believe me anyways, you always seem to have some kind of vendetta against me or something stupid like that. You're (Y/n) afterall. Not to mention you fuckin live for drama don't you? Telling me to do shit, thinking you're sooo much of a bigger person and-"

"Uhm, Excuse me."

Both you and the satan of a man in front of you looked up at the bear, hearing his voice.

"Of fucking course it's you, well, what do you want?"

"Sorry, but that isn't really nice of you to say things like that."

"Ah, so you've heard. That's none of your business, just go sing or something. We're having a talk. Well more like me talking to a brick wall or some shit, since she won't talk."

You didn't say anything, not that you want to now. Tired, that's what you are. Not even gonna lie you're starting to crack under pressure, but you had to hold it in especially since you're not at home.

"Well, I'll need to bring (Y/n) with me, Officer Vanessa needed them."

Freddy was beyond the point of kindness, but he had to keep his cool if he doesn't want someone to report him and get him scrapped. You just put a hand on your shoulder, slowly tugging you to follow him as he leaves your stupid person you call an ex behind.

You poor thing..

Don't you worry though, Freddy is here now!!

Even though you can still hear your ex yelling at Freddy for taking you away 🥳

You sighed, heavy legs as you're not in the mood to even walk right now. Freddy picked up on this, and opted to walk slowly to keep your pace steady, holding you softly by keeping a hand on your back just in case. He can see your dim eyes practically fading their light, as you don't even seem to have an expression on your face. You're tired exhausted, exasperated, anything of the kind, and you can barely focus on what's going on. You didn't even realize that you stopped walking when freddy hold you still softly, trying to look at you.

"Superstar, are you alright?" He asks, voice so gentle that you can practically hear the worries in his voice, you nodded, light headaches worsen as you did. "I'm fine, Freddy. Thank you." You choked out, forced smile crookedly etched upon your face as you tried to wave him off. "No, you are not. Do you want to maybe take a break? I can always inform Officer Vanessa." Again, sweet words has been freshly landed itself upon your ear that, you can't help but find it weird yet also, refreshing.

You shook your head, solemnly repeating that you're fine and that he has nothing to worry about, you tried to get yourself together and walk ahead, yet a pout found itself on Freddy's robotic face, before he reflexively take a hold on your wrist, softly as to not hurt you. "Superstar, what he said to you is deserving of a proper Warning, maybe even a sentence from the higher up themselves. I will notify main office about this behavior." "NO, don't!"

If he could raise a brow for you, he would, though that's really unneeded since it's evident how confused he is with your sentence. "I don't wanna cause anymore unnecessary trouble, let him be." You sighed out, pleading eyes targeting themselves on the bear, as he does a robotic sigh himself. "Alright, but i will not tolerate it any longer if he continues to bother you. Also, i think you're an amazing person, (Y/n)." "Thank you, Freddy."

He nods, once again walking with you side by side. Once you've finished your little meet up with Vanessa, she looks at the time, getting reminded of a question. "Oh, also, what took you so long?" "Oh nothing, my ex, he was just-" "He verbally abused (Y/n)." Both you and Vanessa looks at Freddy with widen eyes, surprise obvious as both of you didn't expect him to talk. "He what." The blonde night guard hissed, now obviously a bit ticked off.

Of course Freddy was as happy as a bumblebee can be, even though he's a bear. I mean, your ex getting the knockback he deserves? Thank heavens. You however, was facepalming just by the reminder of how Vanessa acts on the daily, and how she would handle the situation, oh dear.

But Freddy believes this'll end well, and if not, he'll just have to take care of the situation himself. At this point your Ex isn't a red flag anymore, he's a red wall.

[nonegenderleftpain]

So I keep seeing this fucking everywhere every time someone talks about personally identifying as queer -person after person in the notes doing the "just don't call other people queer" dance. And I'd like to say that no one needs that reminder! This is not new information! People are smart enough to know that if an individual person doesn't want to be called ANYTHING, you shouldn't call them that. You are not being informative, you are just taking the first step towards "queer cannot be an umbrella term" and "queer is a bad word."

So many people seem to think that because some people are uncomfortable with a word, we can't use it as an umbrella. "Gay" was the slur of choice where and when I grew up, and if someone I don't know calls me gay, I get twitchy. But people are allowed to call me gay. Gay is a well-known term for the queer community, even though I don't like being called that by anyone other than myself, and I cannot expect strangers to be responsible for my trauma. If I am in a space where people are saying "gay" as an umbrella and it gets to me, or if I'm in a space where people are calling it the LGBT community and it gets to me, it is my job to remove myself, not their job to stop using a term that, for all intents and purposes, applies to me.

On an individual basis, you're right! If I ask a person directly not to use that for me and they do it anyway, they're an asshole. But that doesn't mean them saying "the Gay Community" is a personal slight against me, nor is that rude or insensitive. It's just a word to describe a large group of drastically varying people. (Frankly I don't think "Gay Community" should be the term because so many straight queer folks end up sidelined and silenced but that's a different discussion.)

You don't need to do the dance. If you take issue with people saying queer too loudly, then say that, and please stay away from me in the process. Don't try to couch it as being pragmatic. No one thinks that calling people something they don't want to be called is okay, and using that as a shield to remind people that you don't like the word and sowing that discomfort in spaces it's not asked for is pretty shitty.

[mizunetzu]

iwaizumi finding out hes gay and having an extreme gay panic when they get their new manager in aoba johsai and the team teases him to hell and back for it (iwaizumi x male manager!)

Nice to see you again, boke saiikai~~ also look at iwa freak out in this gif AHAHAHA

——————

Iwaizumi x reader - Iwa-chan, Panic!

⚠️warnings - none

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Iwaizumi lazily scratched the itch on his stomach, not caring that his shirt was slightly lifted up and people could see his stomach if they looked. Eh, it’s not like people were around anyways.

He was already running late to practice, so he might as well reserve his energy and take a detour to the gym. It’s not like anything important was happening anyways.

“Yo.” Iwaizumi yawned, pushing the door to the gymnasium open. He slipped through, only now realizing that no one answered his greeting. He also noticed everyone was gathered into a loose semi-circle, apparently looking at something Iwaizumi couldn’t quite make out.

“What's...goin’ on guys?” Iwaizumi neared the huddle of Seijoh volleyball players. Matsukawa turned around, seemingly the only one who heard Iwaizumi in the first place. Mattsun nudged his head towards the middle of the circle, the clearing, where someone was standing.

“New manager.”

Iwaizumi’s ears perked up. Oikawa was complaining about ‘having at least one manager before he graduates’ but also ‘one that’s not one of my fangirls, because they wouldn’t take good care of the team.’ As insensitive as it sounded, having a manager drool and follow Oikawa for the majority of practice instead of doing their job does sound pretty frustrating. Iwaizumi scratched his head.

“Don’t tell me Shittykawa finally found a girl who doesn’t fawn over him.”

Matsukawa shook his head.

“Not girl.” He pointed to the boy standing there awkwardly, moving out of the way slightly so Iwaizumi could see. “It’s a boy.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes trailed from his feet, up to his firm-looking torso, and trailing around his nice-looking arms and hands. He couldn’t help himself from checking this dude out. Maybe he was just curious as to why this boy joined as a manager and not a player-

Iwaizumi’s eyes finally met the boy's glass-like (e/c) ones. He realized now that as he stared at this boy's mesmerizing eyes, his own (e/c) eyes began to stare back at him. Stare with his eyes growing wide, a cute doe-like expression on his face. But all he could see was his breathtaking, iridescent eyes.

“Uh, earth-to-(L/n)-chan?” Oikawa, who was standing next to ‘(L/n)’, waved his hand in front of his deer-in-the-headlights-face. He visibly jumped, blinking a bit, and turned his head quickly, pretending he was staring at Oikawa the whole time.

However, it wasn’t the same for Iwaizumi. He continued to stare with his mouth parted slightly, absolutely mesmerized by this guy’s handsome face. It seemed so...holdable. Like he wanted to walk up to him and hold his face in his callused hands and just...stand there. Forever. Squishing his cute face in his hands.

Cute? Cute? No. No. No. Not cute. Iwaizumi Hajime was not finding a man cute. No, not in a million years.

So why was his heart pounding in his ears so much?

His heart wouldn’t calm down. His everything wouldn’t calm down. He couldn’t tear his eyes off the new manager boy in front of him, immersing himself in conversation with a blush to shake off the fact he was totally staring back. He couldn’t help but feel confused. For once, he felt jealous of Oikawa. Not because he wanted to be popular or stalked by fangirls or anything, but because this boy’s full attention would be on him, and not Shitty-Crappy-Stupidkawa.

Matsukawa snapped his fingers in front of Iwaizumi’s face, smirking when he threw his head back in surprise with the reddest face he’s ever seen him with. Iwaizumi blinked, blankly, trying to process what just happened, before somehow exploding into a deeper shade of red.

“Are you sick or something?” Matsukawa placed the back of his hand on Iwaizumi’s forehead jokingly. “Oh. Nevermind.”

“Wh...I-I...huh..?”

“You’re just gay.” Matsukawa wiped his hand on his practice shirt. “Super gay. Super highschool level gay. You were totally checking out Manager-kun there.”

Iwaizumi grabbed Matsukawa by the collar, shaking him around in hopes of shaking the truth out of him.

“I-I’m not!”

“First symptom: denial.”

“Shut up-!”

“E-excuse me���?” Iwaizumi stopped dead in his tracks. Matsukawa was one second away from bursting out into cackles at Iwaizumi’s impossibly pale face. They both slowly craned their necks towards the foreign voice. Iwaizumi suddenly forgot how to breathe.

He, ‘Manager-kun’, seemed more utterly breathtaking up close. He was standing right infront of Iwaizumi, looking directly at him with his attractive (e/c) eyes. He didn’t even realize when Matsukawa wormed out of his grasp.

“(L/n)-san, good afternoon.” Matsukawa bowed slightly. “My name’s Matsukawa Issei, by the way. Thank you again for being our manager. We look forward to working with you.”

“Ah...thank you.”

When Matsukawa looked back at Iwaizumi, expecting him to introduce himself, he caught Iwaizumi staring at him with goo-goo eyes and an equally confused, frozen-stiff expression from Manager-kun himself. They stared at each other, one from awkward silence and the other from pure, unadulterated gayness. Matsukawa rolled his eyes.

“Dude!” Matsukawa jabbed Iwaizumi in the side, making him snap out of his trance with a grunt. “Don’t be rude, introduce yourself to Manager-kun!”

Iwaizumi broke into a cold sweat. He turned back to ‘Manager-kun’, attempting to look as cool as possible.

“Y-yo...the name’s Iwaizumi HaJIMe-” Iwaizumi’s voice did not want to be on his side today. The betrayers that were his vocal cords cracked mid sentence, making Iwaizumi cough horrendously in hopes of covering it up. Mattsun looked like he was going to die holding in his laughter.

“Nice to meet you, Iwaizumi-kun,” Manager-kun grasped his hand in his own, and held it for a moment. “My name’s (L/n) (Y/n).”

He, (Y/n), flashed a small, friendly smile, and Iwaizumi was taken. With the way (Y/n) held his hand so tenderly, he could probably faint. He’d rather die than let go. It was so warm, his hands were so warm. God, he felt so soft inside.

“...Y’know, if you aren't feeling well, I can take you to the nurse’s office-”

“No-! It’s-it’s fine! I’m fine!” Iwaizumi sputtered, and he silently whined when (Y/n) pulled his hand back. He stepped back, and gave a small wave.

“That’s good, Iwaizumi-kun. Well, I just wanted to introduce myself to everyone. See you later, Matsukawa-kun. Iwaizumi-kun.” (Y/n) smiled again, and left to introduce himself to another teammate. Once (Y/n) was out of earshot, Matsukawa erupted into a fit of cackles.

“Pfft-ahahahahaha! Dude! Y-you-! Ahahahaha! You need to chill man! At this point everyone’s gonna know you went all-“ Mattsun mimicked Iwaizumi’s wide-eyed expression, bringing his hands together and pretending he was a moe schoolgirl. “Kyaaah! (L/n)-senpai is soooo handsome!”

“SHUUUUUT UPPPPPP!” Iwaizumi started kicking at Matsukawa’s shins and hitting his back, trying to silence his cackles and hope (Y/n) didn’t hear that. Or see the huge red blush on his cheeks.

Oikawa side-eyed Iwaizumi and Matsukawa from the net pole. His hands were still moving on setting up the net for practice, but his eyes were examining the two fellow third years roughhousing with each other. More specifically, the red that engulfed Iwaizumi’s face. Oikawa turned his attention back to the pole.

——

‘Just do it!’

Those three words played on repeat in Iwaizumi’s mind for the past 2 weeks. And they seemed to get louder when Iwaizumi arrived to practice.

‘Just do it, Hajime!’

‘No!’ Iwaizumi thought back to himself, watching as (Y/n) greeted everyone who came through the club room door. He was standing outside, holding a box with supplies stuffed in it. Iwaizumi dreadfully neared the club room.

‘Do it! Now!’

‘No! Fuck no!’

“Ah! Hello again, Iwaizumi-kun-“

“No!” Iwaizumi blurted out. He was quick to cover his mouth, but the look of confusion that knitted (Y/n’s) face was enough to tell he had heard Iwaizumi loud and clear.

“Uh. I mean. Good mor-uh good afternoon, (L/n). Sorry bout’ that.” Iwaizumi trudged into the club room as nonchalantly as he could. But once the door closed, he slumped down to his knees.

“Something wrong, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa mused, slipping on his blue practice shirt over his head. “You look like shit.”

“Y-you’re one to talk, Shittykawa! Go die!”

“Uuu! How mean! Mean Iwa-chan!”

“Yeah yeah.” Iwaizumi hastily slipped into his practice clothes. Oikawa watched his face closely. It was redder than usual.

“Hey, Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi looked up from his knee pads, halting temporarily as he threaded them through his leg. “Mm?”

Oikawa opened his mouth, then glanced to the door where (Y/n) was standing outside of. Not yet. He didn’t have enough evidence yet.

“Never mind.” Oikawa rubbed the back of his head cutely.

——

Iwaizumi slumped down on the steps of the gym, heaving like he ran 13 miles. Well, he did. He watched as everyone came trickling back, Oikawa yelling praise as they all collapsed in front of the gym. Training runs across the block were tough. Especially after an exhausting practice match against each other.

“Good job, everyone!” Oikawa clasped his hands together. “Get some water, go rest, do whatever! We’re gonna do some serving and receiving practices, then we can take a break!”

The tuckered-out team choursed out a “Yessir!” before scattering about and doing their own things. Iwaizumi let his head loll back onto the concrete steps he was sitting on, closing his eyes and catching his unsteady breath.

“Iwaizumi-kun!”

Iwaizumi jolted up harshly, a blush adorning his features as his eyes snapped open. (Y/n) looked down at him with a small white towel in his hand and a water bottle in the other.

“I figured you needed some water or something so-I got you some stuff-!” (Y/n) promptly set the things down on Iwaizumi’s lap, though he’s not sure he noticed with the way he was staring at him so...strangely. Huh, that’s been happening for a while now.

Iwaizumi’s dazed look suddenly dissipated, his consciousness coming back to his eyes as he fumbled for the items slipping from his lap.

“Oh! Thank you...dude…! You’re…you’re...cool...f-for that…!”

Iwaizumi shot finger guns at his (Y/n). His crush. Fucking finger guns. He wouldn’t mind if he took his finger guns and shoved it so far up his a-

“It’s no problem!” (Y/n) shot finger guns back, before flexing an arm and patting his bicep. “It’s what a manager is for! Makin’ sure you boys are alright.”

“I’m gonna go fill up some more water bottles...l stopped and filled one up for you first because you looked thirsty…”

(Y/n) ran off. “See you!” He called from a distance, before disappearing from sight. Iwaizumi waved back with a blank expression on his face.

His legs felt like jelly. Not only because he ran 13 miles non-stop, but because of how whipped he became for manager-kun (Y/n) in the span of only a week or two.

Oikawa hummed to himself knowingly, watching Iwaizumi slump back onto the concrete steps with a hand in his heart.

——

“Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan!”

“No! No! No!”

“But why?!” Oikawa exasperatedly yelled, dramatically blocking the door leading outside the club room. It was just him, Iwa-chan, Mattsun, and Makki. Makki and Mattsun sat on the floor of the club room like they were expecting Iwaizumi to come in, and from the way they didn’t try to stop Oikawa from blocking the door, they knew the same things he did.

“Let me out shithead!” Iwaizumi clawed at Oikawa’s arms. Oikawa, as twinkish and childish as he seems, was actually stronger than he looked.

Eventually, Iwaizumi stepped back to take a breather. Matsukawa and Hanamaki took that as their chance to secure him, as Hanamaki grabbed Iwaizumi by the torso and wrapped his whole body around him.

He held him as secure as he could while he thrashed around, waiting till Matsukawa hurriedly set up a foldable chair and brought out some rope. Hanamaki dragged Iwaizumi to the chair, ignoring his pleads of “Let me go!” or “Y’all will pay for this-I swear!” As he forcefully sat him down.

He held his hands to the back of the chair as Matsukawa tied him up as quick as he could.

“Oi! What the fuck!” Iwaizumi kicked at Matsukawa as he circled him with the rope.

“It’s for your own good, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa piped up from his spot blocking the door. He didn’t want to move from the door until Iwaizumi was fully immobilized, just in case he tried to run for it.

“Like hell it is-ack!” Matsukawa tightened the rope. “Ease up, will you! God damn!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Matsukawa, in fact, did not ease up. He tied the rope into multiple tight knots, making it virtually impossible to somehow slip out of them. Iwaizumi squirmed around in his restraints as the chair was rotated facing away from the door, and towards Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

Oikawa sighed triumphantly, and backed away from the door. He clasped his hands together.

“So nice of you to finally join our discussion, Iwa-chan.”

“Literally suck my dick then go practice receives on a nearby building and fall to your death.”

Oikawa feigned offense to Iwaizumi’s words. Hanamaki chuckled, while Matsukawa shut Iwaizumi up by tugging at the rope’s end he was holding in his hands.

“Isn’t this illegal? Like-somewhere in the world?”

“It isn’t right now~” Oikawa sung, before becoming laughably serious. “Now! We need some answers!”

“More like you couldn’t contain your curiosity or ask Iwaizumi like a normal person.”

“Makki! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Oikawa blurbed, before coughing and regaining his cool integrator vibe. “Anyways!” Oikawa snapped harshly at Iwaizumi.

“You! Have a! Crush! On Manager-chan!”

Iwaizumi choked on his own spit. He turned away dumbly, with a coy look on his face.

“Dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb! We all see the looks you give him! ‘Fess up, Iwa-chan! You’re absolutely totally whipped for (Y/n)-chan!”

Iwaizumi stiffened. “Since when were you two on a first name basis-!”

“See?! You got mad when I called (L/n)-kun by his first name!”

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Iwaizumi barked. He was starting to sweat now. Were these restraints always so stuffy? “I was just wondering why you called him that!”

Oikawa stuck his tongue out. “Just say you like him we’ll let you go~!”

“Never! No way in hell!”

Oikawa gasped. He pointed dramatically at Iwaizumi. “So you do admit it! You’re totally in love with Manager-kun but you don’t wanna say it!”

“Wh-?!” Iwaizumi sputtered. He kicked around in his restraints, making Matsukawa tug at the rope again. He was thrashing around so much he didn’t hear the door open. “When did I-“

“When did I ever say I had a big ass fuckin’ crush on (L/n) that it made me question my whole sexuality?! But that I couldn’t care less since he’s so...so nice and cute and-fuck!”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki paled. They seemed to be looking at something behind Iwaizumi. Oikawa was still listening intently to Iwaizumi’s confession, not noticing whatever it was those two were staring at.

“Fuck! Fuck! I wanna grab his stupid face and kiss him all over! Fuck! Why is (Y/n) so cute! I wanna call him by his first name too! I wanna hug him and do things boyfriends do too! Fuck! I’m so-“

Oikawa’s eye eventually trailed up from Iwaizumi. He locked eyes with whatever was there, then immediately copied the same panicked ‘we’re dead’ look Hanamaki and Matsukawa had. He looked back at Iwaizumi with a sweaty, pale face.

“H-hey, Iwa-chan, that’s enough-you proved your point-“

“-I’M SO FUCKING GAY FOR (Y/N) IT HURTS!”

The three boys flinched, looking behind Iwaizumi with the same look you’d give when you got caught doing something bad. Iwaizumi was breathing heavily, slouched on his chair after his whole explosion of a confession. He looked at the three third years, who weren’t even looking back at him.

“...what? This is what you guys wanted right? To admit that I like (L/n-“

“I-Iwaizumi, you might wanna shut up…” Hanamaki said, his voice trembly. Matsukawa and Oikawa nodded.

“No! Why are y’all acting so weird! You guys were all up my ass about it, and now you’re telling me to shut up?!”

Matsukawa silently spun his chair around slowly, towards the door so he could see what they were all staring at.

“Honestly, if y’all weren’t expecting me to actually…confess…t-to…yooouuu…”

Iwaizumi’s voice progressively died down as he locked eyes with (Y/n), standing by the door with the reddest shocked face he’d ever seen. It was Iwaizumi’s turn to go pale.

“Uh...I-I heard...screaming...f-from the club room and...and I wanted to see if you guys were ok...um.” (Y/n) awkwardly swung his hands around, before letting them rest behind his back. “So…”

“Do you...really wanna ‘kiss me all over’ and do boyfriend-y stuff together…? With me…?”

Iwaizumi said nothing. He started squirming madly in his binds, trying to look anywhere else but (Y/n).

“Let me out let me out let me out let me out-!“

Iwaizumi only wriggled and kicked harder when (Y/n) started approaching him.

“LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETME-uu-?”

(Y/n) balled up his fists, resting them rigidly on Iwaizumi’s lap as he clumsily pressed a kiss to his lips. His eyes were clamped shut, unlike Iwaizumi’s, who were wide open. He felt (Y/n) push closer, to which he let his body give in and relax, closing his eyes and tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

Matsukawa wolf-whistled, while Hanamaki yelled things like ‘Get it, Iwaizumi!’. Oikawa smiled triumphantly once more, clapping quietly. “Bravo! Yay Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi’s eyes were half-lidded as began to pull away. He let out a shaky sigh, watching Iwaizumi take breathless breaths in. Oikawa was still clapping in the background.

“Yay! Yaaaay Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan is happy and I fulfilled my promise! (L/n) will be Manager-kun for forever!”

Iwaizumi snapped out of his dazed trance to glare at Oikawa in confusion. “Huh?”

“Ara?” Oikawa tilted his head. (Y/n) caught on, and started violently shaking his head ‘no’, as well as flailing his arms around trying to shut him up.

“You don’t know why (L/n)-kun decided to join the club?”

Iwaizumi shook his head. (Y/n) whimpered slightly and covered his face in his hands.

“I told (L/n)-kun that if he became our manager, I’d find a way to get you to fall in looove with him. But it looks like I didn’t need to do anything~”

Oikawa chuckled. “He really only joined for you, y’know. When I went up to talk to him about being a manager, his eyes lit up and he said, and I quote: ‘I’ll do it if you set me up with your friend Iwaizumi-kun and get him to fall for me-! Kyaaa! Iwaizumi-kun is so tall dark and handsom-ow!”

Oikawa was abruptly cut off when Iwaizumi kicked him in the leg, as it was the only thing he could reach while he was still tied up. Iwaizumi turned to the side with a blushy pout.

“Y-you’re embarrassing him, idiot.”

“Aww look. He’s enjoying this.” Matsukawa snickered. Hanamaki chuckled as quietly as he could, both trying not to get kicked in the leg like Oikawa did. (Y/n) sank to the floor, defeated.

“Why did you tell Iwaizumi-kun...that’s so embarrassing…” (Y/n) groaned from the ground. He was still covering his face, so he didn’t notice when Matsukawa started untying Iwaizumi, or when Iwaizumi squatted down and placed his hand on top of (Y/n’s) head.

(Y/n) made a noise of surprise as Iwaizumi patted his head with a blushy scowl.

“S’ only fair that I know… I was pretty embarrassed too when you heard all those things I said about you... Eye for an eye and shit…”

(Y/n) said nothing as Iwaizumi continued to pat his head. They said nothing for a while, before Matsukawa silently whispered to Oikawa.

“Wait, if you knew that (L/n)-kun liked Iwaizumi, why did you look so scared when he walked in? You knew they liked each other.”

“Ah.” Oikawa rubbed the back of his head, watching as Iwaizumi and (Y/n) shyly exchanged phone numbers.

“I was scared that Iwa-chan was going to murder me.”

——————

Wanna know what makes my day? When people comment on my fics 💖 especially when they reblog and go crazy in the tags or even say something IN the reblog itself 💖💖💖 makes me feel all warm inside ✨

-Mr. Mizunetzu

[lavishedinjimin]

bts reaction -> you do something that upsets/angers them

woah! finally, a new reaction post?? 

(all gifs used are not mine!) 

Namjoon:

Well, well, well, what could you have possibly said to create an argument with Namjoon. He, for one, doesn’t like arguments. He would instead talk to you and settle all the problems without raising his voice.

But if the argument does get too far, he’s making sure that he gets his point across, even if his words might sting.

Namjoon sits on the edge of the bed, looking up at you who was standing in front of him with your arms crossed.

“I did nothing wrong, Y/n,” he states with a deep yet calm tone, “You didn’t tell me that I had to run errands. How would I when I’m in the studio with the boys?”

He raises his brow when you stomp your feet on the wooden floor. Eyeing you up and down, his blood slowly rises when he feels like you’re acting insensitive.

“But you knew that we had no groceries left!”

Namjoon suppresses his anger like he always does, “Stop being selfish, Y/n. Tell me, who’s paying your bills?” he points his chin out.

“Hey, I pay half of our bills!”

“There you go. That just means you also shouldn’t be depending on me so much when I’m busy doing work, okay?”

(aln: this gif is so fucking hot istg i’m on my knees) 

Seokjin:

You feel the other side of the bed dip, signaling that someone had come into bed with you. Peeking your eyes open just slightly, you feel your body relaxing as you finally saw Seokjin after a long, hard day.

“Hey, darling,” you whisper, scooting closer to him to hug his body. Seokjin murmurs something under his breath, but you didn’t quite grasped what it was. 

Seokjin moves around, furrowing his eyebrows as a groan escapes his mouth. “Please…”

Ignoring the word, you instantly scatter his face with kisses, kissing his forehead and down to his plump lips.

“Not now, Y/n.”

“Why?” you pout, “lemme kiss you. I haven’t seen you all day.” You continue your mischief on him, placing open-mouthed kisses all over.

With eyes still closed, he pushes you away with both hands.

Shocked, you look at him in awe of what he just did.

“That’s so rude,” you scoff.

“I just want to sleep, Y/n. I’m tired and I don’t want to talk.”

Silence fills the room as you sullenly observe him pull the covers over his body. He rubs his face with his hands as he lets go of an exasperated sigh. “Get over it. I had a bad day, okay? I just want silence and a night of good sleep, that’s all I want right now.”

You know how Seokjin gets mad. His words are his weapon. You think that it’s much better leaving him alone than further pushing his buttons. Tomorrow will be another day.

Yoongi:

Yoongi doesn’t get angry that often. It’s quite impressive how he can calm himself down and avoid the anger. But it’s also alarming – because whenever he does get angry, he can become outright terrifying and a guilt-tripping madman.

“Is it because I don’t talk to you enough?” Yoongi alarms through the phone, the rage in his voice evident even though you can’t see his face. “Huh? Is it because I don’t give you enough attention?”

“It’s not like that! You have to understand that he’s just a friend!” You grip the phone tighter in your damp hand. 

“I bet that guy treated you better, hm? I bet that’s the reason.” Yoongi’s voice was filled with bitter sarcasm as he speaks. The tone of his voice makes you clench your fist in annoyance. It was clear that he was manipulating you with his words, but there’s nothing you can do to stop him.

“You know what? Whatever, Y/n. You do whatever the fuck you want. I don’t care. But get ready for when I get home, you’re gonna get some serious fucking punishment.”

There was a long, thick silence after his sentence. You can feel your heartbeat thump loudly in your chest, upset in both yourself and in Yoongi.

“It isn’t my intention to upset you,” you sigh, “you’re the one that I care about. Always.”

“Then show it to me.”

You gasped. Are your actions not enough for him to believe you? 

Hoseok:

Hoseok can be immensely intimidating when angry. Those eyes that can show the sweetest candy smile, with a single wrong move, they can turn into the most devilish gaze someone has ever seen.

Even his members find him scary whenever he’s mad.

As you watch the band practice their choreography for their performance next week, you couldn’t keep your eyes on Hoseok. The way his body just moves smoothly without any imperfections at all, it was clear that he was made for dancing and performing on stage.

Park Jimin calls off for a break and the members rush to their respective corners to catch their breath. Hoseok walks to the other side of the practice room where he sits down. Until suddenly, Jimin comes to your direction with a sly smirk on his face.

“Did you like the choreo?” he says, voice sort of raspy and out of breath. You giggle, “Yes. It was fire.”

“Mhm…” he places his hands on the table in front of you and leans forward, making your eyes widen. What is he doing…?

His eyes were almost slitted, licking his lips. You can’t help but notice small droplets of sweat trickling down from his temples and to his jawline, and how the light reflex the dampness of his neck. “Were you watching me?”

“H-Huh?” You stutter, mouth agape. “Yeah. You’re so good, Jimin, as always,” you respond while tucking your hair behind your ear. 

Jimin’s grin widens, satisfied with your answer. Before he can give a verbal reply, Hoseok was right behind him and he swiftly pushes Jimin aside. He gives him a ‘look’ paired with a shake of his head. He whispers something to Jimin as he walks away.  

Hoseok lifts his chin whilst he looks down at you with those menacing dark brown eyes. “Are you enjoying your time here?”

“Well,” you gulp, “Yes.”

He looks away for a second, brushing his hair back. You can hear that he took a deep sigh. Placing his forearms on the table, he stares directly into your eyes. His irises burn deep into you as he takes a heavy breath, “You know how possessive I am of you, Y/n. Only—” he lifts his right hand and caresses your cheek, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip, “only look at me.”

Jimin:

Jimin was clicking away on his laptop as he sits on the barstool, eyes glued on the screen for he didn’t even notice that you’ve walked up behind him. Slowly, you wrap your arms around his waist. His body jumps in utter shock.

“Babe,” he groans, “don’t do that again. Don’t surprise me like that.”

His tone was plain and sharp, bringing an attitude that signifies that he is annoyed.

Perhaps he needs more love and attention?

Inhaling his scent, you rest your cheek against his back. The sounds of the keys clicking were slowly becoming irritating, so you snatch his hands away to hold them in your grasp.

“Wha—Y/n!” he yells, but you unrightfully ignore him.

“C’mon, baby. Just rest for a while and come cuddle with me instead—”

“Cuddle?” he turns the stool around so he faces you. He scoffs, “You really want us to cuddle right now? When I’m in the middle of work?” he raises his voice at you, making you feel small. Trying your best not to be hurt by his razor-sharp timbre, you stand your ground. “Stop fucking annoying me and let me do my job, okay?”

“I’m just trying to—”

“—Just trying to help, yeah.” He rolls his eyes. “Please just, just leave me alone for a couple of minutes.”

But he will feel so fucking bad afterward, though. Jimin lets his emotions get the best of him and he used you to let it all out. You understand him, nonetheless. He is the type to bottle up his feelings. But deep down, you wish he would tell you everything that’s been bothering him, without having to keep them for himself. 

Taehyung:

Taehyung rarely gets mad at you. But whenever he does, he’s quick to apologize and forget about the situation because he doesn’t want to cause a much bigger problem.

So, stealing his food from the fridge wouldn’t annoy him, right?

He was supposed to come home early for tonight, but he informed you that he’ll be a little bit late because of traffic.

Although your hunger couldn’t wait any longer.

Taking the box of food out of the fridge, you did not hesitate to gobble them all up to feed your rumbling stomach. You know for a fact that he’s going to empathize with you anyway.

As he comes home, though, you weren’t still finished and he stops his tracks when he sees that you were eating his meal.

“Y/n!” he gasps, “This one is yours!” he says, raising the takeout box he bought on the way home. “You said you wanted Chinese, didn’t you?”

Uh-oh…

You slowly stand up from the dining table, walking your way out of the area with his food still in your hands with a little cheeky grin.

Taehyung pouts as he whines out your name, “I hate it when you do this! I was craving for that!” He stomps his foot, “This is so upsetting, you know.”

You feel your heart clench at that, “I’m sorry…”

“Come here, you!” Taehyung all of a sudden, runs to catch you, signaling your fight or flight response. You shriek and dashed all around the dining room, trying to avoid Taehyung as much as possible. He had his arms sprawled across like an eagle, cackling.

Once you let him catch you, he hugs your body tightly in his grasp. “Hmm? You’re so naughty, babe. You know I can’t get mad at you for too long.” He grabs the food box away from you and sets it aside. He whispers, “But don’t do this again.”

Jungkook:

“I mean, look at her, Jungkook. Doesn’t her face irritate you?” you inquire at him, showing an Instagram picture of that one girl you despise. She had her whole butt on screen, tongue out, showing off her long acrylic nails.

Sitting on the couch beside you, Jungkook purses his lips and looks at the screen. “Hmm.” He says plainly.

“Goddamn, whenever I see her in real life my saliva turns sour, y’know? Ugh¸ I hate her so much.” You can feel your nerves rile up, throwing your feet on the coffee table in front of you.

Jungkook speaks, “What has she done to you?” he says in a monotone voice.

“Uh,” you turn to look at him, raising an eyebrow, “Why?”

He shrugs his shoulders, “Just wondering.”

“Okay, fine,” You roll your eyes, “She has done nothing, all right? But—”

He laughs unexpectedly, making you crease your forehead both in frustration and perplexity.

Jungkook himself was never the type to create arguments or say what he feels out loud. He would most likely internalize his thoughts and opinions and waits for the perfect timing to affront.

But if there’s a moment where he a situation feels unfair, he’s not afraid to stand up for what he believes.

“You know that’s wrong, darling,” he sighs, scooting over to you. He swings his right arm around your shoulder and tugs your figure closer. “There’s no reason to hate someone without having a definitive reason. C’mon, just ignore her if she bothers you so much.”

You frown, “But…”

“But what? Baby, if you do this one more time, I’ll be very upset. More upset in you than I am right now.”

Immediately, you jerk your head to look at him. With puppy dog eyes, you apologize, “Sorry.”

[fairyoftbz]

insecurities | l. juyeon

🧸 pairing: idol!juyeon x (insecure) fem!reader 🧸 word count: 2.7k 🧸 genre: angst, fluffy end 🧸 tw: mentions of insecurities, doubts 🧸 a/n: sorry i forgot to post, i had a busy day and im exhausted, i hope it's gonna be enough! 🧸 requested: yes! thank you, it is very cliché but i hope this is what you had in mind! 💝

╰☆☆☆☆╮

Juyeon came home tired but happy, excited to see you again after a long day of intense practice and a show where he participated as an MC. You, on the other hand, were not as happy as he was, but you were for sure tired of something.

You couldn’t deny it, dating Juyeon had positive points, he was everything you could ask for in a man, but there were just as many negative points. He was an attractive, sweet gentleman, and it was almost impossible for him not to attract other girls, not even doing it on purpose. And it was one of your many insecurities even if you considered yourself pretty, you couldn’t help but get insecure every time he talked to someone else.

Because let’s be honest, in the Korean music industry, every single woman looks like an absolute goddess. So, when he interacts with someone, and they’re a bit too friendly, your heart pinches in pain as he gives them the smile he keeps for you and you only.

You think that they are more interesting, prettier and funnier than you, which has the ability to send your thoughts to the dark side of self-consciousness, not feeling pretty or enough next to those women. And tonight, it was hard to watch on National TV your boyfriend being extremely friendly with the other MC.

You had tried to comfort yourself that it was just a mask, that he had to look friendly and handsome on TV. However, you couldn’t help feeling disappointment and anger as he gave attentive eyes to the other MC as she explained something, his eyes falling on her lips pressed against the mic.

Juyeon walks through the main door, tossing his keys on the chest of drawers, getting rid of his jacket and shoes before joining you in the living room, happy to see that you were watching the same channel he appeared on. Eyes glued on the screen, your thumb rubbed against your lips, feeling the skin of the cuticles you scratched while watching your boyfriend feeling rough against your lips.

“Hi love,” he said as he sat next to you, pressing his lips on your cheek. You didn’t react, only emitting a slight hum as he sat comfortably.

Juyeon frowned but didn’t raise your bad mood, trying to think what was going on inside your head. Maybe you had a bad day, or you were just tired, despite scratching his head and think, he couldn’t pinpoint what had brought you in such a bad mood.

“Did you have fun?” you bitterly spat, and Juyeon’s eyes widened, surprised by your tone, the wrinkle on his forehead deepening as his brows furrowed at your attitude.

“I did. Are you mad or something?” he bluntly asked, and you sighed, taking the remote to turn the TV off, falling in an unpleasant, uncomfortable silence.

“Oh no, I’m super fine. I really enjoyed my boyfriend giving heart eyes to another girl on national TV, it was such a nice thing to watch,” you bitterly chuckled, and Juyeon’s eyes widened even more, not expecting you to pull out the jealousy card on that.

“Babe, what are you talking about? You know-”

“Please, spare me your fake confusion and lame excuses, I clearly saw what I saw. My eyes never deceive me,” you said while standing up, but Juyeon was quick to imitate you and grab your wrist to prevent you from walking away. You tried to free yourself from his grip, but he only tightened his hand around it.

“Juyeon, let me go,” you said through clenched teeth, trying to prevent the tears from escaping your eyes. Breaking down was the last thing you wanted to do in this situation.

“Not before you explain to me what this fuss is all about,” he said, irritation replacing confusion in his eyes. You let out a mocking scoff, your eyes filled with anger and disdain boring into your boyfriend’s, holding eye contact for a few seconds.

“You really think I’m this dumb? I clearly saw the eyes you gave to the other MC when you were both animating the show. Cracking jokes, giving her smiles that could outshine the sun, your eyes ogling her lips when she was talking or smiling. Did you really think I wouldn’t catch that?” you raised your voice, letting anger take over your body.

“I never did all of that, I don’t know what you are insinuating,” he spat, trying not to show it, but your words hurt him, hating the fact that you could imagine him cheat on you or fancy another girl.

“Go on social media then, you will see what I am ‘insinuating’! Everyone is already talking about how whipped you are and how cute of a couple you would look together. Some fans are even starting to make edits!” you shouted, shoving your phone in your hoodie’s front pocket.

Juyeon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to calm his nerves a bit, a gesture that had the ability to enrage you even more. Your family used to do that when they found you annoying or wanted to belittle you, and now seeing Juyeon doing the exact same thing as them really made you even more insecure about this whole situation. Your family made you feel like a real burden during your childhood and teen years that it hurt you to think that Juyeon was probably agreeing with that thought right now.

“Y/N, I don’t know what you are talking about. I was just trying to be nice, I can’t be rude or it’s mine and the group’s reputation that I’ll take down with me-”

“No it’s okay, no need to explain yourself, the message was very clear,” you said, and you finally freed yourself from his grip, your heart breaking as Juyeon sighed in annoyance again, seeing him almost roll his eyes.

“It’s not what I meant, and you know it. Don’t react like that, please,” he started, but you waved your hand in front of you.

“No, no, I got it, you-”

“Y/N, for the love of God, stop being so fucking insecure, it’s getting so fucking annoying at this point! I can’t do anything without you getting fucking doubtful, start having faith in me and in this relationship, dammit!” your eyes widened as Juyeon eventually snapped, his mouth slowly closing as he stared at you, realisation hitting him that his words and tone made a lot of damage once he saw the tears gather in your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

The couch separated the two of you, creating the illusion of a painful wall that made you shiver, feeling like your apartment had lost all of its warmth on the spur of the moment. His words were brutal, and they bounced around your skull, your head turning towards the corridor to swallow the lump forming in your throat, trying not to break down in front of him.

“Y/N, I’m-”

“Leave me alone,” you replied, voice wavering as you walked out of the living room, slamming the bedroom door shut before locking it.

Juyeon sighed and carded his hands through his dark locks, closing his eyes as he thought of the words that had escaped his mouth too quickly. He cursed under his breath as the living room fell into a deafening silence, his hands linked at the back of his neck as he thought of what just happened.

“Why did I say that,” he muttered under his breath and collapsed on the couch, unlocking his phone and scrolling on social media to try and momentarily forget your beautiful face painted with a hurtful expression because of him, but it was to no avail.

He saw what you saw; the fiction, the edits, the collages, he saw and read everything. He already hated seeing you cry and being hurt, but he actually loathed himself for being such an idiot and not comfort you about the whole situation with what was happening on every social platform.

His heart shattered in millions of pieces as he pictured you crying in your shared bed, holding the stuffed animal he got you for your anniversary tight against your chest, letting you drown in your insecurities and intrusive thoughts. He loved you very much, but despite him trying to remind you every single day, your intrusive thoughts always managed to get the upper hand when you found yourself hanging out on your own or with some friends. It was as if your brain shut out everyone who tried to reassure you or make you feel better, letting you drown and struggle in your sorrow.

Yes, the other idols were pretty, but they were nothing compared to you. Juyeon had only eyes for you and cared about you and, of course, his members, but never had he thought about leaving you for someone else. His intentions were just to sound and appear nice and welcoming on TV because he knew that some fans, antis and media wouldn’t hesitate a second to bash him on different platforms and articles for his rudeness and insensitivity towards his idol colleague. And not only would he break his reputation, but also the group’s, and that’s the last thing he wanted.

However, he also understood that it was something hard to watch for you, even if he reminded you every single day that you were the only one that mattered in his eyes.

Sitting on the couch, he started reflecting, putting himself in your shoes for a second. How would he have reacted if he saw you being super friendly and affectionate to another man? Someone more handsome, nicer than him, cracking jokes here and there to see you smile and laugh.

He tossed his phone on the couch space next to him, where he wished you were instead of crying yourself in your shared bed, watching the device bounce, collide with the armrest and fall on the ground. He didn’t even fret checking if the screen cracked, head too high in his thoughts to bother.

Resting his elbows on his knees, he pressed his joined hands against his mouth, tongue poking his inner cheek as he realised he had really messed everything up. His knee started bouncing at the disgusting thought of losing you, perfectly knowing that he had to do something before you could slip through his hand like grains of sand.

Juyeon stood up and knocked on the bedroom door, softly calling for your name.

“Y/N?” he asked, and you didn’t respond, faintly hearing you cry on the other side of the wall. “Go away, please,” your strained voice barely making it to his ears, his fingers drumming against the surface of the door in frustration.

From your side of the bed, still holding that teddy bear close to your chest, you let your tears damp the top of its head, feeling the exhaustion of crying kicking in. Juyeon didn’t knock another time, trying not to push your buttons too much to save his chances to talk to you.

You heard a small thud on the lower part of the door, frowning as you wondered what it was. Deep breathings filled in the silence lingering in the corridor, selfishly feeling a bit relieved that you weren’t the only one hurt in this situation. Juyeon was a smart, tolerant man, he knew when to put his pride aside and not blame you for something you said or did. Well, it’s not the case for this time, and it’s probably exhaustion that spoke for him, and that, of course, doesn’t excuse anything, but he wanted to apologise and make up for everything.

“I know you probably don’t want to see me or hear my voice after what I’ve told you, but I really want to apologise for what I’ve said,” you held your breath to hear his faint, low voice on the other side of the door. You sat up and felt dizzy for a quick second, still holding the teddy bear against your chest, your face buried in its head as you let the tears keep rolling on your cheeks.

“I know it’s hard to date me, and I’m really sorry, I wish we had a simpler life, where we could hang out and go on dates like two normal people. It’s also hard for me to not be the type of boyfriend everyone wishes to have, but I’m so damn grateful to call you mine.” Juyeon marked a pause and ruffled his hair, pushing the front pieces away from his hair while thinking of his following words.

“I… you don’t know how much I’m sorry for using your insecurities against you. I shouldn’t have, it was the dumbest move I could ever do, but I just didn’t know what to answer. You are so pretty, so beautiful, amazing, and absolutely wonderful to have around to me, so seeing you this insecure makes me mad every time you compare yourself to someone you think looks prettier, thinner, or more perfect than you. It’s... really frustrating because I try my best to make you feel like a goddess and worth it every day, but those unrealistic society standards and god damn social media make you feel like you are not worth an ounce of love,” he took in a big breath and raised his knees upwards, letting his forearms rest on them.

You slowly opened the door behind him and dropped the teddy bear by his side, letting him know of your presence. He was quick to notice it and turn around to hug your legs tightly, your hands finding their way in his hair and started massaging his skull.

“I’m so sorry, Ju,” you faintly whispered, and he breathed in deeply against your skin as if he finally found you again after being separated from you for years.

He grabbed your cherished stuffed animal and stood up, holding it against your chest with a tender smile. He sat you down on the bed and gave you a proper hug, mouth pressing loving kisses on your forehead and temple as his hand caressed the back of your head, holding you as close to him as possible.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I really am. I love you so, so much, I’m really sorry for all the stupid words I’ve thrown at you,” he said, and you shook your head, squeezing your arms around his middle tightly as an answer.

“I guess I have to accept that you have eyes only for me. But you know, it’s hard to acknowledge it and believe it when you find everyone around you ten times more beautiful than you are,” you mumbled against his chest as you sat on his lap, and he nodded, feeling a lump rising in his throat.

“I know Y/N, I know. I wish I could rid you of those insecurities, my heart breaks each time I see you so unsure of yourself. You're just so beautiful and amazing, it honestly kills me to see you like this,” he whispered, and you bitterly chuckled, gently pulling away to look at him with pearly eyes, his arms around you holding you still tight, making sure that you wouldn’t go too far from him.

“You can’t do that, but maybe you can help me soothe them by keeping loving me the way you’ve done since day one,” you mumbled, and he smiled, his eyes shining with tears just like yours.

You both cupped each other’s face and sadly smiled at the other, Juyeon feeling comforted at the sensation of your thumbs wiping the tears away from his cheeks and vice versa.

“We just need time, love, but I promise I’m going to help you realise how much you mean to me and how beautiful you are. And how much I don’t care about other girls,” he mumbled, and he gently drew your face closer to his, your lips grazing against his mouth. You closed your eyes at the proximity, feeling so much love and passion in his kiss that it was getting hard to breathe.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” Juyeon pulled away from your lips and whispered against your mouth, his hot breath mixing with yours.

“I love you too,” you smiled, burying your face in his neck, your boyfriend kissing the crown of your head while hugging you tight.

You giggled as Juyeon applied pressure on your waist, making you fall on your side on the bed. His hand gently cradled your cheek, thumb caressing your cheekbone with a soft smile on his face. You closed your eyes and pressed your forehead against his, feeling him chuckle and gently press his lips against yours.

[whcclxr]

relationship w marauders

please don't take this, it's my work.

tw/cw: they/them pronouns, more on the harsh side of words, slapping (brief), mentions of sub!dom dynamics, pet names such as pet, puppy, pup, toy, slut, whore, love, darling, it has a bit of insensitivity i think (didn't mean for that part sorry), angst in a way i think, fluff at the end

my daydream of the day: marauders in a poly relationship w them (for this im gonna say dom!remus over everyone; dom!sirius to you and james; sub!james to everyone and readers a switch) (peter was excluded from this sorry)

so you've walked back to the boys dorm w them and remus can sense something isn't right y'know (werewolf type shit), you're not your usual energetic self, and sirius and james are too into a conversation to sense much.

anyways you get back to the dorm and sirius automatically is tauntingly saying "so puppy, have you been good today ?" not knowing of your day and thinking you're more quiet bc you're feeling subby. instead of giving him satisfaction of saying yes or no you just sit in a chair and stare at the wall or start your work, but ultimately just dismissing him and his attitude.

and this leads to him thinking you've started being bratty so he starts up with meaner words like - "wow pups decided today, they wanna act like a fucking brat" "are you wanting us to use you love ? like our little pet ?" and sirius signals the others to join but only james does, coming to stand behind sirius while he squats to the right of you. so they, together start taunting you more, james just nodding along with sirius, joining in only briefly. then sirius gets so fed up that he starts calling you more names including "his whore" or "their slut" and "just our useless little toy"

and that there is what gets you, the calling you rude names when all you've wanted was a nice, peaceful night. so you slap him. not too hard, across the face. this earned 'ooh's' from both boys, and a step back from james not wanting the same. of course y'know you're not allowed to be doing that, 'specially to your dom but you were too fed up to care in this present moment.

he's squatted next to you when you finally stare at him and say "you do not get to call me ruthless names thinking you can get away with it. i am done with your shit tonight sirius and james, a bit. i wanted a nice evening to spend with all of you but you are to in your mind to care about anyone else's needs other than your own sexual fantasies. i'm not your whore nor slut, nor any other names you have graced me with tonight. don't be such a fucking douche and notice other people." and with that you storm out.

this leaves the boys in bewilderment, 'specially sirius, as you've just slapped him and bad mouthed him. he gets up from his stance on the floor and doesn't know what to do, does he go after you ? do one of the others go ? do all or none go ?

"we should ask lily" james suggests, after moments of silence, which the boys nod along to.

after they track down lily, whilst keeping an eye out for you, they ask if anything has happened to not be in your particular favor today which lily responded "oh yea, they've had a pretty bad day. sev's been getting onto them more and more. they spilt a potion in class and severus started making crude comments when they blew the project, calling them useless and not capable of anything. then they spilt ink on themselves going to lunch and, well i think you get it."

this causes the boys to all look amongst each other, knowing sirius had said some rude things along with james a bit. even though they knew that they didn't know you'd had such a miserable day, they felt pretty bad. this caused them to rush out 'thank yous' to lily and rush off to find you.

you on the other hand felt bad. yes you had a bad day however took it a bit far. you knew the boys didn't know of your bad day, thinking you were in the mood for other things when you really wanted peace. yes you could've handled this better however what's done is done. now just apologies would be necessary. so you went back to the dorm only to find the boys gone, so you decided to wait it out.

they got back in a hurry, shoving through the door, racing to find the map to ultimately find you. except remus, who did want to apologize on the others behave, 'specially severus' while promising to pummel his face in, but took it slower thus finding you first.

the boys, without turning their fronts towards the door, were unknown of your presence. "boys" came from you and they spun to meet you, sitting in the rocking chair near the door, remus on your left rubbing your shoulder comfortingly.

"m'love" and they came running to you, kneeling in front of you ( 🧍🪑🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️) they both started rushing out apologizes but after a minute james stood and went next to remus.

"darling i am so so sor-" "i'm sorry"

all boys turned to you and stared in a bit of confusion as sirius had said the mean things.

"i took it out of proportion, and i'm sorry for slapping you and saying what i said, not so sorry on the latter." with a little laugh from all. "i had a bad day, which you probably know of now and it just got to me." "i'm sorry my love, i should've taken signs and noticed you weren't in that mood. i'm sorry"

with that, you hug him and the other boys join too. "m'sorry again loves" mutters james "it's alright boys, doesn't matter anymore"

after a few minutes of hugs and kisses, remus stands properly and says "alright, who's ready to go beat snapes ass ?"

[nanaminokanojo]

"Petty" | Oikawa Toru X You

CHAPTER COUNT: 1/1 CHARACTERS: Oikawa Toru X You | Haikyuu Characters (mentions) WORD COUNT: 3,300+ GENRE: fluff | romance | aged-up characters | university au | oneshot TRIGGER WARNING: profanity | strong/mature language | alcohol use SPOILERS: n/a

collection masterlist

photo/fanart credits to @/oikawalovesyouu on Twitter

"He's self-centered but he's insecure so naturally, he's petty."

Oikawa couldn't shake that comment off his head as he slammed yet another ball into the opposing court, aggressively wiping on the sweat on his forehead. The university gym was already deserted with all his teammates gone yet he was still doing jump serves as if he wasn't already so good at it. He just needed an outlet.

In his head, he was already thinking of counter arguments to what he heard being said about him. It was one sentence. One! And yet he was working up all his brain cells to think of a lengthy rebuttal to every single word in that single statement.

First of all, he wasn't self-centered. He doesn't just think about himself, or so he likes to think. He was sensitive enough to read the room most of the time and he can actually bring the best out of his teammates to the highest degree. An insensitive, selfish prick wouldn't be able to do that without proper observation and lack of awareness for others.

Secondly, he didn't think he was insecure. He didn't have to lift a finger to get the attention he wanted, and it was human to feel envy for those who are better than him because there will always be someone better. It’s just an inevitability he has to deal with.

And lastly, he wasn't petty. He's always been reactive, he knew that, but that was just reaction if not retaliation to those who want to belittle him. That's what he thinks anyway.

But why you had to say those things about him as if you were a female version of Iwaizumi – his best friend who seemed to get off of being too cruelly honest and straightforward about what he thought of Oikawa – was something he didn't understand.

Of course, he was aware of your blatant frankness. He loved that about you. You were just very insistent on your individuality and you had very strong opinions which you stood by without regard to anything. Most of the time anyway. He actually got a kick out of people's reactions when you say something without filtering your words especially when you were children, but like they say, it's never funny when one becomes the receiving end of anything negative.

The larger dilemma was that you were the only girl he sincerely liked, so much so that he was willing to lay down his pride just to have you and call you his. Solely and irrevocably his. But if you thought of him that way, then maybe you actually hated him. It bothered him to no end.

"What the hell did I tell you about over-exertion?" Oikawa heard that familiar deep voice from the direction of the entrance, and before he knew it, the ball crate was being wheeled away from him. "Enough. It's off season."

"Just letting off some steam," Oikawa stated, smiling Iwaizumi's way despite himself.

"You can do that at Kuroo's party," the other male said with finality. "Be out in fifteen." His last words were laced with a threat, and Oikawa didn't have a choice but to do as he was told. The former was right. If it's just to vent out, he could definitely do that at the party.

He couldn't be more wrong in his life.

The moment he entered the premises of Kuroo's house, the first thing he saw was you. You came in just after he did, but you bumped against him without even apologizing as you walked ahead, waving at someone else. You saw him there, but you walked off anyway as if you didn't.

"What the actual fuck?" he couldn't help but blurt out when he saw just who you were talking to.

You've always been agreeable to him as his childhood friend, but you were ignoring him on top of saying bad things about him to your friends. And now, you were talking to Ushijima Wakatoshi whom you knew he disliked with a passion.

The male simply got on his nerves for the fact that he was better at him in the sport they both played. Oikawa also hated how much the guy hounded him to join their team back in high school, talking about how he would be better off. Like how is it better to be in the same team as Ushijima was when he would just outshine him?

His mind started to run amok with questions. What could you possibly want from Ushijima? Better yet, what did he want from you? Since when were you even close to him? Oikawa almost wanted to throw up seeing how you were being buddy-buddy with the cold fish of a guy, actually managing to melt his severe expressions into a soft smile. Were you going out with him now? He couldn't take it.

Without thinking, he grabbed the shoulder of the person who was holding a tray of drinks, taking two shot glasses in his hand, and telling the person to stay where he was standing. He was able to down six shots while standing there, but before he could drink more, Iwaizumi came into view.

"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded gruffly, telling the poor guy with the drinks to scram.

"Not now, Iwa," he snapped, walking towards the direction of the stairs, rudely telling everyone to get out of his way.

He stayed there for almost an hour, trying to calm his nerves but ending up going feral over this couple who were making out as they pushed the door to Kuroo's room where he was lying down on the bed. To say that he killed their mood was an understatement as he harshly told them to fuck off. Nobody dared cross him being the famous star athlete that he was at the university you both attended. It was, however, useless if he finds himself losing even outside of court to Ushijima who was his equivalent in the neighboring school when it comes to volleyball. It left him with a bitter taste at the recesses of his mouth.

When he finally emerged from the room, deciding to get more drinks, he was still in a foul mood, glaring at anyone who would get in his way towards the kitchen. But his plan was all but forgotten when he saw you standing by the archway that led to the kitchen, leaning there as you nursed a plastic cup against your chest.

For the first time that night, he was actually seeing how beautiful you were, dressed in a crop top and tight-fitting jeans which were tattered in most places. As per usual, you were stuck in your own bubble, bobbing your head to the music as if you weren't aware of all the adoring looks you were getting. Well, you were a person who didn't know her strengths and denied them when he tells you. It was just unfair how he always has nice things to say about you but you didn't think the same way about him.

He closed the distance between the two of you, placed his forearm above your head, towering over you, that infamous smirk plastered on his face.

"Hey, baby," he said in a low tone, leaning down until your faces were just inches from one another.

"Hello, darling," you returned, smiling slightly. "I've been looking for you, but Iwa said you ran off somewhere."

"Have you now?" He eyed you seriously. "Weren't you just ignoring me a while ago for Ushijima?"

He wasn't able to elicit the reaction he wanted from you, and instead, you smirked at him. "Eh?" you responded in a dragged out note. "I wasn't with Ushijima for the sake of ignoring you, Toru. The world doesn't revolve around you."

He stood back in indignation, your opinions of him coming out to the surface. "So why were you with him?" He was aware that his tone made it seem like he had any right to be questioning you of your actions. He had been vocal about his attraction to you, but it wasn't as if he was your boyfriend. Still, he couldn't care less at the moment.

"None of your business, sweetheart," you told him, your words at odds to the saccharine smile you flashed him. He found himself disconcerted especially when you reached up and started fixing his fringe. "What are you acting so jealous for?"

Ah, he thought. It wasn't his place to be feeling that way but he didn't want to respond to your question in any way. So, like he did earlier, he stormed off, sticking to his original plan to get wasted.

He didn't want to say things he will regret even if you were being hot and cold. For a while now, he had the feeling that you were toying with him, but whenever he was around, your actions towards him were always the opposite of your words about him as of late. One time you'd be telling him to go away, but as soon as he does, you're grabbing his arm, telling him to sit still beside you. You'd be complaining to him one second that he was being an annoying brat and then sit on his lap peppering his cheeks with kisses. You'd be with another guy but tell him you're looking for him. You were confusing to say the least.

Oikawa didn't know what happened after he walked away from you. But when he finally came to, he had a throbbing headache and he wasn't in his room. He looked around him, straining to keep his eyes open as he took in his surroundings, shooting up from the bed when he realized he was looking at the familiar layout of your bedroom.

He had been there a million times ever since you were kids, and he had been a witness to all the changes your little corner of the world had gone through. He couldn't help but smile despite his feelings and headache at the thought that what was once a room that looked like it was made of cotton candy was now in scales of black and white, surrounded with things that were just so you.

But after all the changes, you still had that framed photo of you and him in grade school, where he was kissing you on the cheek while you grinned wide for the camera. You were wearing the matching shirts your crazy moms got you, and he knew you still kept them somewhere in your room.

Yes, he told himself, I was there before anyone else. You’ve always been the closest to him even when Iwaizumi came into the picture. Even then, he didn’t seem to understand you well enough to actually lay emphasis on the fact that you’ve known each other since you were in diapers.

Just then, you walked into the room, holding a glass of fizzy water. You were wearing only his old volleyball jersey, padding barefoot on the floor. You specifically asked for it when you both graduated from high school and you've been sleeping in it since then.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," you greeted, sitting down on the empty space of the queen bed which he noticed was also slept on. "Drink up."

"What am I doing here?" he asked after downing the whole glass in one go, setting it on the nightstand.

"I took you home. Your mom would have killed you if she saw how fucked up you were last night." You brushed his hair from over his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Like my head's about to explode," he muttered.

You clucked your tongue. "Why did you have to drink so much anyway?"

Instead of answering you, he laid back down on the bed, turning away from you. He had every intention to ignore you after that, but it wasn't long before he felt you coming closer to him, propping your chin on his arm while you draped yours over his waist.

"You're sulking, Toru."

He took the pillow from under his head to hide his head under it. "I don't wanna do this today, Y/N."

"Do what? What exactly are we doing?"

The audacity to ask, he said at the back of his mind, biting his tongue. He didn't say anything and just stayed still.

"Hey, I asked you a question," you continued to badger him. "You've been acting off since a week ago. What's up?"

He refused to satisfy you with a response thinking you ought to realize what it was exactly that you two had been doing, dancing around each other yet skirting around the real issues between you. You couldn't be that oblivious of his affections and you weren't exactly passive either.

Nevertheless, you always had a way of turning things to your favor, and before he knew it, he was falling off the bed after you kicked him off it, nearly landing face down if it weren't for his fast reflexes.

"Y/N!" he whined, remaining seated on the floor as he clutched on his head. He half expected you to laugh at his predicament, but when he met your eyes, he regretted it, seeing the serious expression you had.

"You should know by now that I hate it when I am denied things I want to know especially those which involve me," you told him, cocking your head to the direction of the bed. You sounded menacing, so far from the gentle voice you always used when talking to him. "Stop being a brat. Get back here and talk to me properly."

"You're the one who kicked me!" he protested as he stood up, doing as he was told nonetheless, sitting up and leaning on the headboard.

"So, what's your problem?"

"I'm jealous of Ushijima," he returned promptly his brown eyes also taking a severe quality to it as he eyed you.

You arched a brow at him. "What's new about that?"

"At least before, he didn't have you, too. Now..." He sighed. "You're friends with him now? What was that about last night?"

"Are you serious right now? I had business with the guy."

Oikawa scoffed. "What business are you talking about that he's all smiles at you like that? He only ever smiles around his girlfriend –"

"Exactly," you countered, openly savoring the look on his face when he realized just what he was saying. "He ordered a huge consignment of rare live flowers for his girlfriend so I informed him it had been delivered. Our family as ikebana* artists and horticulturist do that for a living."

"What?"

You shrugged. "You're assuming things again."

Oikawa blinked, feeling defeated at your sound reasoning, but he still has bones to pick with you. "That's not just my problem with you. What are we really, Y/N? I don't get how you're ignoring me and suddenly being sweet. I'm getting mixed signals here. And don't think for a second that I didn't hear about what you told your friends about me."

He narrowed his eyes at you, smirking when he saw how your eyes rounded, finally able to take you off guard like you usually did to him. For once, he wanted you to lose your footing and come clean about what you really thought about him…how you really felt.

"Hmm. What exactly did I say about you?" you asked, the caution in your tone obvious.

"You know it, Y/N. Don't you dare make me jump all the hoops!" he stated, losing his temper.

You shook your head, not understanding where his choleric attitude was coming from. You knew better than to level your irritation with his, and you were so used to his antics that you found yourself almost unaffected by his crusty demeanor. "I really don't know what you're talking about, Toru."

He glared at you. "You told them you think I'm petty because I'm self-centered but I'm insecure. Ring any bells, sweetheart? And don't lie, I heard it myself."

You ran your hand over your face, frustration emanating from you. At the same time, you wanted to laugh because he looked like an angry kitten instead of the fully grown man he supposedly is.

Oikawa didn't know where your exasperation was coming from when he's supposedly the one feeling it but then you nodded.

"I did say that."

"How could you?" he complained, aware that he sounded like a juvenile dipshit but he didn't know how to react to your lack of denial for it. In the end, he just wanted you to say you didn't mean it even if he already got hurt from hearing it.

"How couldn't I, Toru? That's the truth," you stated, no bars held and your voice ringing clear in the air between you. You were really merciless when it came to voicing out what ran inside your head.

"Well, shit, Y/N. Why didn't you just tell me to my face?" He was about to stand up, but you pushed him down, sitting astride his lap so he wouldn't move. He refused to look at you but couldn’t move at the same time cause he didn’t want to hurt you in any way although he didn’t exactly want you close at the moment. "Get off while I'm being nice about it."

"Iwa and I never fail to tell you every day," you started, placing your hands on either side of his face, gently making him look at you.

"You both hate me?" he asked weakly, unable to imagine life without the two of you beside him.

"No." You shook your head. "Toru, no. Of course not. That's just how you are, isn't it? We never asked you to change. We just couldn't help noticing it, and if we don't tell you, who will?"

Oikawa Toru. So used to being fawned over that he doesn't know how to react when he is being criticized. He could admit to that, but it still hurt hearing you say that.

"Sweetheart, I did say those things about you, but you didn't stay long enough to hear the rest."

He pouted, looking away from you. "And what is it?"

You tilted your head so you would be in his line of vision, grinning the moment you realized you had him. "That despite all that, you're a generally kind person who cares a lot for your friends, your team, for me, and even if you don't know how to show it, deep down, you're a sensitive soul. And I adore that about you."

"Really?"

You scoffed. "I love you, Toru. I thought we had an understanding."

"As friends, you mean?"

You rolled your eyes at him, but didn't say anything further, closing the distance between your lips, kissing him fervently and intensely in case the message didn't come across just yet.

He gasped against your lips, caught off guard as usual, but kissed you back with as much fervor, dominating you shortly after your mouths made contact. He nipped and sucked on your lips before shoving his tongue into your mouth, immediately finding yours and delving in to taste you. Oikawa grinned when he rendered you into a panting mess, reveling in the way your hands possessively held him close.

"I waited so long for this," he said against your ear.

"Make up for all those times you missed out then," you told him with a smug grin.

"Heh. You asked for it."

He flipped you both over on the bed making you burst out in a fit of giggles, kissing you stupid, his hands touching everywhere he could reach, your clothes and his mixing in a pile on the floor while he made sweet love to you.

Oikawa Toru. He's self-centered but he's insecure so naturally, he's petty. But he was not just that. He's also the guy you loved to smithereens because you knew that those other facets of him – the good ones – exist.

-the end-

TERMINOLOGIES:

*ikebana (活け花) - traditional Japanese art of arranging flowers

My first try at Haikyuu...god d*mn you, both, @kenkinori and @ushiwaikuroo !!! XD

Before anyone comes after me, the characters are aged up as specified in the story. The beauty of literary creativity!

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY FURUDATE HARUICHI’S “HAIKYUU!”. [20210704]

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[rayshippouuchiha]

hello, I’m uh, here to vent? warning, there is…a lot of swearing. a few months ago i was taking a nap after a solid 24 hours of being awake and my brothers were in the same room laughing and yelling and generally being loud as fuck, and after asking for the fourth time to please be quiet because can’t you see im trying to sleep here, i finally snapped and said “can you two shut the fuck up please? it’s good that you’re enjoying yourself but can you maybe do it elsewhere?” and my older brother said to my younger laughing, “it’s so funny when people tell me off for laughing, like sorry im not depressed” I KNOW YOURE DEPRESSED. SO AM I. DEPRESSION ISNT AN EXCUSE TO BE AN INSENSITIVE DICKHEAD. god every time I think about it im filled with such a frothing rage. those two…i love them but they’re fucking assholes. who do they think they are??? they ain’t SHIT. not to mention that my older brother (who is 20) and my younger (who is 11) have been spending more time together, and my older brother has some hella toxic traits that i don’t want anywhere NEAR my impressionable younger brother. despite my best efforts to get my older brother to tone down (I say tone down because because I’ve TRIED to get him to stop, and he fucking WONT. the best I can hope for is that he doesnt say that shit in public) the rape jokes and blatant misogyny and racism and…fuck he’s got a lot of issues.

at a certain point in life you became responsible for your own development, and i can’t get him to change if he doesn’t want to, which, fine, i can accept that, but my baby brother??? he don’t need that shit. he’s been picking up shitty behaviour from him since we’ve been cooped up together at home. he’s been swearing a fuckload (fine, i can understand that one, since I do it too, although not nearly like how I do when I’m venting online) and he’s rude to our mom (what the FUCK. WHY. HOW. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN. IM SHAKING THINKING ABOUT IT. THIS WOMAN HAS RAISED THREE CHILDREN ALONE FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS WITH NO SUPPORT FROM OUR SHIT DAD AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO BE RUDE???) and he now thinks that raging and screaming and banging the table and kicking shit around is acceptable when the wifi is slow is completely normal and safe behaviour because our brother does it too. they think it’s funny! there’s so much shit i don’t want him picking up but for the love of god, how the hell do i do that when nobody in this goddamn household listens to me??? my brother made a shitty sexist joke the other day and i snapped and got pissed off at him (for the nth time, fuck) and he, what, called me a snowflake?? “it’s just a joke, you’re such a snowflake.” “what’s a snowflake?” “someone boring” and he had the GALL to look at me with this judgemental look on his face and say “are you a snowflake?” in a drawling voice. sorry if you think I’m BORING because I don’t support your shitty misogynistic views. you’re on your own, you asshole. I’d rather be a fucking snowflake than take that shitty behaviour near our brother. if it was just us two, me and my older brother, i might not have cared anymore after trying to help him the first few times, but there’s a fucking child in this house. you want him to grow up like you? and these two, they raise their voices ALL THE FUCKING TIME. me?? the only time I yell is when I’m calling someone from the other room, or online when I’m demonstrating my fROTHING FUCKING RAGE, such as right NOW. wanna know why? because yelling and shouting scares the fuck outta me, and i don’t want anyone feeling like i do. the reason im so goddamn angry online is because i refuse to be like them and take it out on other people. there’s venting, and there is hurting other people because what, your fucking minecraft won’t load? I’ve literally tried so hard to the point of actual tears to get my brother to stop raging but he just looks at me and says shit like “you wouldn’t understand, you never get angry”. uh actUALLY I CAN MOTHERFUCKING UNDERSTAND. BECAUSE YOU. YOU TWO GRATE ON MY FUCKING NERVES. HOW DARE YOU SAY I DONT UNDERSTAND. THE REASON YOU NEVER SEE ME ANGRY IS BECAUSE IM NOT LIKE YOU TWO. god im so sick of their shit. they’re my brothers and they’re precious, but I want to beat them up sometimes. I’m so tired. pretentious little shits UGH who do they think they ARE.

ray, the amount of time I’ve spent thinking about how to beat some goddamn respect into them is uncountable. every possible conversation that goes through my head i cannot continue because I can hear their responses, and they just fuel my anger even more, and I’m not even going to attempt to hold myself back in my mind. i have daydreams about ripping those two a new one and making them drink their respect women juice. osdjedlsdnkendkdn this is so long and im sorry about that but these two make my blood pressure skyrocket and I’m positive one day I’ll die from sheer fucking rage

Oh baby it really sounds like you needed to let all of that out and I don't blame you. Sounds like you're dealing with a lot from a lot of different directions and the anger, fear, and frustration you're feeling right now is perfectly understandable.

Honestly yeah your older brother sounds like a dick and, in my opinion, I'd be willing to put money on the fact that a lot of the things he's doing? He's probably doing them specifically to get a rise out of you, up to and including bringing your little brother into the mess. Because he knows what buttons to push and what things to say to get you to give him a reaction.

Obviously, I'm speaking from an outside perspective so I don't know all the finer details, but I say start stonewalling him.

Look to your safety first (especially since he seems to think that physical outbursts are acceptable and that kind of thing has a habit of escalating in many cases) but otherwise show him and his bullshit a solid stone wall.

You've tried talking to him, you've tried the emotional appeal. It's not working and it's not because he doesn't know he's doing wrong but because he doesn't want to stop. So don't give him that validation by showing him your outrage or your anger anymore. People who act out to provoke a reaction feed on that kind of thing and it traps you in this never-ending loop.

If he starts acting up then leave the room if possible. If you can't leave the room then scroll on your phone, read a book, stare into the goddamn abyss, just do not feed him that attention he so obviously wants.

If talking to your mom hasn't worked/isn't an option/etc I'd say you could try pulling the little brother aside and trying to calmly explain to him why what's happening is wrong if you haven't done that already. Just make sure you get him alone so he doesn't think he has to perform for your older brother.

It might work, it might not, but at least you will have tried.

Either way darling I'm sending good vibes in your direction and I'm here if you need to vent again.

[slightlymore]

no, thank you

part of the Pride Universe

jaemin x fem reader

others: haechan (mentioned in jaemin's thoughts but not present in the real plot)

genre: smut with plot, roommates au, mentions of university (jaemin is a med student), angst, fluff, very +18 tho

warnings: very! rough! smut! (brat taming, oral, masturbation, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, denial, slight degradation, restriction, manhandling, bath tub is one of the locations), short mentions of mlm (jaemin x haechan fwb in the past), yn comes off rude in the beginning but it's necessary for character development, yn has an anxiety attack, angsty 

words: 11.3K

this is kinda good if I say so myself, yall have to read 👁️ if you don't like mlm or memberxmember I promise it's just a short bit of fluff/angst connecting it to Cute~ and that's all lol, the plot is very jaeminxreader centered 

Jaemin has been told that he can't say no to people. Yes, he will come to the party. Yes, he can help with the moving out. Yes, he can help you with Anatomy. Yes, that kind of anatomy as well. 

The only time Jaemin would say no is when people would ask if he’s busy or tired. No, I’m fine. No, everything is alright. 

"Do you ever sleep, Jaemin?" Haechan asked once. 

His soft and sleepy voice made Jaemin smile. He wrapped the boy’s waist even tighter, tugging Haechan’s body against his. 

“Of course I do.” Haechan chuckled. “When?” “When you’re not here”, the other whispered. “Lies. You’re studying when I’m not here. Look at what kind of service I’m doing. Fucking you so that you can just lie in bed and fall asleep.” Jaemin smiled again and ghosted Haechan’s forehead with his lips ready to place a kiss on the other’s warm skin. He stopped himself before doing so. “Yeah, thank you for your service.”

But since Haechan started to date some guy, there was no one to force him into bed and make Jaemin rest. 

The boy would drift off to unconsciousness for a little while every night, head pressed into his med school books, mind full of notions and caffeine. He would stay like that for an indefinite amount of time, not enough to fully fall asleep but enough to being shaken to the core when he would wake up, batting his eyelashes as his unfocused gaze tried to make sense of his surroundings. Then he would get up slowly from his uncomfortable chair and drag his feet to the kitchen to make his nth cup of coffee for the night.

Jaemin has never had a roommate and it was probably because of Haechan. Said boy wouldn’t have cared less if someone was in the other room, listening to their moans, but Jaemin didn’t like that. Instead, he loved it when Haechan would pull up to his doorstep unannounced, eyes either wide with tears or tight with lust. Because the choice was Jaemin. It was always Jaemin. Haechan needed him and Jaemin loved it. He couldn’t have other distractions. No flatmates knocking on the door and complaining. Just him and Haechan, on his bed, on the couch, on the kitchen counters, against the entrance door, on the floor, in the shower. Jaemin didn’t know, but it wasn’t just him doing Haechan a favour, maybe quite the opposite. Because Jaemin has been also told that he doesn’t ask for help. He doesn’t let people know about his needs, or whatever. But Haechan was aware of that. It took Jaemin a little while to notice it, especially since the other was already gone, but more often than not, Haechan would just show up for no apparent reason. “Nothing happened,” he would say, “I was just horny.” But Haechan would come for him. Because that’s how Haechan was. He could see people very well and he could see Jaemin when he needed something, or when he was exhausted and needed a simple hug, or when he didn’t sleep in days or having eaten nothing more than a single cup of instant noodles. They were friends with benefits but the benefits sometimes were just lying beside each other and talk, or order in some food while watching a movie. Sometimes they would just kiss for a long time, during nights where Haechan felt weaker, and those were Jaemin’s favourite nights. “You should sleep now,” the older would whisper against his lips and Jaemin would reply with a short-breathed yeah, in a second, before letting his tongue inside the other’s mouth slowly for another hour or so. Some people might have said that Jaemin was in love, but the boy had no idea himself whether that was the case or not and he didn’t want to think about that. Jaemin didn’t like thinking at all. But he loved it when others did and he loved to think about their thoughts instead of his own. He wanted to know people’s reasons and why they behaved in a certain manner so that he could understand himself without actively trying to.

“So, what do you think?” Jaemin was standing proud in the middle of his spot-free living room, hands on his hips, like a housewife expecting compliments from her housewive friends. 

“Could be better,” you mumbled, biting your nails, barely looking around.

When you found Jaemin’s pretty written paper renting a room on the university notice board, you did assume he was a girl. 

“What could be better?” he smiled at you. 

You stared back, sensing sarcasm but upon seeing the boy’s genuine expression you realized how naive he was. 

“I don’t know. The roommate maybe?” you rolled your eyes and walked towards your assigned room, dragging your suitcase carelessly on the nice wooden floor. “I’m staying, by the way,” you yelled after closing your door with your foot with a loud bang.

____

You have been told a lot of stuff during your life. Selfish, rude, uncaring, insensitive. 

It would make you angry. 

You would yell back that it’s not true making people step back and add some more adjectives that you wouldn’t want to use while describing yourself in class. 

You fought that back a lot, crying secretly under your covers, terrorized of being alone by yourself, afraid of being alone with such a bad person. 

You fought and fought until one day you just stared back at those people. 

So what? you found yourself thinking. Perhaps I am. Yeah. I am selfish and I don’t give a shit. So what about that? What are you all going to do? 

And when you ignored people, they started to ignore you as well. 

And slowly, everyone knew that no, you would not help them with their homework, no, you didn’t want to go to their stupid party, no, you didn’t give a shit about their new college charity event. 

And you didn’t give a single fuck about Jaemin’s rules.

“So, you can actually do whatever you want, really. The only things I ask of you is-,” he tried to speak to you the first morning of you living together.

You turned your music loudly on purpose the previous night as you settled in. You wanted to see the boy come knocking on your door and finally throw away his polite mask as everyone does around you after a few minutes of knowing you. Because you’re rude and it’s better for them to just know that from the start. 

The thing you hated the most was people giving you a little hope, that maybe you’re likeable and they wouldn’t turn their backs on you. Yet, you’ve quickly realized that it is impossible. Not with you. Not since you’re such a horrible person.

“Yeah, I don’t care,” you replied, one of Jaemin’s red apples between your teeth, a little juice glistening on your lips after you bit down. They were prettily on display in the middle of the kitchen island with a little vase of fresh flowers kept them company on the right.

The boy looked at your mouth for a second before locking eyes with you. “Okay,” he simply replied grabbing an apple himself. “I’m glad you like apples. I was afraid they would go to waste-,” but he didn’t complete the sentence, one hand suspended in the air, eyes wide as you let the piece of apple you were munching on fall on the ground as well as the fruit you were holding. 

“These apples are actually disgusting,” you commented then you both listened to the sound the apple made as it rolled into the living room and stopped as it met the soft rug.

That was it. 

It wasn’t your fault that this boy had more patience than your previous flatmates and you had to go stronger on him. 

Kick me out? Are you going to kick me out now? Come on. Kick me out.

But Jaemin didn’t look mad. 

After the initial confusion, he just put his apple back on top of the others and grabbed a paper towel. He knelt in front of you as you stood there with crossed arms and picked up your half munched bite of fruit and threw it away. Then he walked the few steps separating the kitchen island to the living room and picked up the apple as well, giving it the same journey towards the trash. 

You scoffed. 

Jaemin still didn’t say anything and grabbed a pan out of the cabinets. “I’m making pancakes,” he announced calmly. “I don’t like pancakes,” you acted like a kid but the feeling gripping at your throat was something new and you didn’t know how to behave. 

This Jaemin guy made you angrier than other people. 

Jaemin turned around to face you. “What do you like, Y/N?” 

You stared back for a few seconds at his neutral and unbothered face, then shoulder bumped him as you walked away. Grabbing your backpack from the ground you just slammed the entrance door on your way out.

You knew you were annoying. You also hated yourself just like everyone hated you. But you couldn’t help it. It has happened before. You let yourself believe that maybe you were kind and sweet, that you had a caring heart, that people would like you.  Yet, soon after, they would finally realize that you weren’t like that at all. That you were a monster trying to put on an act. So you liked the idea of people seeing the worst you could be first, so they could just leave if they couldn’t handle it. 

And no one could. Yet this Jaemin dude didn't budge.

You came home late that day and you noticed the way Jaemin turned off his music as he heard you enter your room. 

God, you hated him. 

And the morning after he was already in the kitchen, hair wet on his forehead, a white towel around his neck. 

He smiled like an angel. 

"Eggs and bacon?" 

You ignored him. 

And the morning after again. "Fruit?" Door slam. 

And another morning again. "Maybe cappuccino and croissants?" he wondered. Again. 

"Porridge?" "Okay! Okay. Fuck. Okay", you finally replied. 

It was the weekend and you had no excuse to dramatically leave the apartment as you did the previous days when you had to go to class. You were standing in the same spot in front of the kitchen island as the first day when you made a fool out of yourself by spitting out a piece of an apple. 

"I'm fine with whatever,” you added quietly. "Toast?" Jaemin raised his eyes from underneath his fringe before his hand could throw the locks back revealing the forehead. 

You shrugged. 

He smiled excitedly and got busy around the cabinets, the scent of his aftershave intimidating you. 

Walking around him silently you sat up on the kitchen stools, placing your hands on the marble and looked down, uneasy. It was alright if Jaemin was kind now then would start hate you afterwards. You could rest for a little bit, right? You could just put down your shield and breathe. It’s not like you would become friends if the made you breakfast. 

"How did the week go? You guys have many exams?" Jaemin's voice slightly startled you. 

Looking up you saw that he was already looking at you, two white plates in front of him with two pieces of hot toast. You stared back for a second then looked at the way his hands spread jam on the bread. 

"It was alright," you found yourself speaking. 

How was yours? You probably should have asked. But you didn't care and you were afraid to randomly engage in more than a few words long conversations. 

"Here," Jaemin placed the food in front of you then he licked his thumb. Thank you, you should have said. But Jaemin didn't look bothered. 

After a few moments of silence during which you couldn't bring yourself to start eating, Jaemin sighed like a British person would while slapping their knees when announcing they should go. 

"Alright. I'll eat in my room. I have a lot of stuff to do,” he announced and left with the plate. You stared at his back as he lazily dragged his feet towards the corridor and when you heard his door close you finally tasted the toast.

_____

A scared cat. An angry and scared cat.

This was the first thing Jaemin thought when he saw you. 

Honestly, he almost lost it on the first day but kept it in together when he saw the way your hands trembled while being confronted. Then all of his anger died. 

No, I don't care, you told him yet you didn't turn up your music loudly again after the first night and you never bothered him. It was almost as if you weren't even there. 

What a nicely crafted facade, Jaemin would think, hands behind his head, a pencil between his lips, an open manual on his chest, eyes directed towards an indefinite point on his ceiling. 

It was very late at night. His phone buzzed once and the boy stared at the "apartment empty, wanna come?" text. 

Yeah, he could use some of that. 

And he would have been at his friend's place by now if a weird noise wouldn't have stopped him from putting on his shoes. 

It was coming from your room, a small choked sound, barely audible that Jaemin wouldn't have heard it in other circumstances. He walked the corridor slowly until gently stopping in front of you door, a slight blush covering his cheeks. Could it be-? 

But no. 

Jaemin heard a fair share of whimpering girls before and you definitely weren't enjoying yourself. So he knocked, suddenly worried. "Y/N?" You didn't reply, only a little whimper being caught by Jaemin's ears. "Y/N, is everything alright?" He waited, face almost pressed on the cool wood. Another choking sound and "I'm coming in, now,” he announced and you couldn't stop him. 

Sat on your bed, wet cheeks from crying and irregular breaths, you looked up like a scared deer, sliding back when Jaemin walked towards you. "Shh, it's alright," he whispered with a calm voice, hands in front of himself as he sat down in front of you. 

"Don't touch me. Go away," you flinched, hiding your face from his gaze. 

Jaemin had a reassuring face when he spoke again. "I won't touch you if you don’t want me to."

"Go away. Leave me alone," you repeated with a feeble voice, arms pulling your knees to your chest. 

Jaemin looked at you for a few moments, your baby blue pyjama and irregular breath, then he gently sat down on the bed in front of you and crossed his legs. 

"Do you take medicine?" he asked softly. You shook your head. "Okay. Then, will you look at me?" You sobbed and furtively raised your eyes to meet his for a short moment before looking away. "It's alright. You're doing great." Jaemin's voice was low, articulating every word slowly and he didn't move. "It's scary, I know. But there's no danger now. I'm protecting you." His eyes were trained on your face and you finally let yourself stare back fully. 

"Imitate me," he spoke again, breathing in and out slowly. A little sob escaped your lips before you could do the same. 

"Good. You're doing amazing. Slowly," he cooed and you did just that for an indeterminate amount of times, the silence engulfig you both until you looked down and saw your fingers wrapped around Jaemin's hands. 

You let them go surprised but your palms liked how soothing touching another human’s skin felt. 

His was soft and warm, and you concentrated on the way the heat spread to your cold hands, holding them again timidly. 

Then you let yourself fall on the pillows, eyes looking up at the ceiling, the sobs getting more time between each other. 

Jaemin remained still for a moment, as if unsure what to do, then he slowly moved to the side, walking on all fours until resting on the bed beside you. 

A little stronger whine shook your frame again though and he slightly rolled over, rising on his elbow the other hand above your body. 

"I'm-- going to touch your diaphragm. Is this alright?" 

You bit your lower lip then nodded. 

"Okay, breathe in again, keep it for one second, then release slowly."

You inhaled, staring at Jaemin's big eyes as if looking for approval. His hand ghosted your stomach until finally resting on your body right underneath your bust. 

"That's right," he spoke softly. "Now, again.” 

You repeated the exercise, feeling Jaemin's warm palm through the clothes every time your rib cage expanded. 

"Again," he breathed in with you, keeping it, then releasing it. 

After a while your mind felt like white, blood fully oxygenated, Jaemin’s non-invading and calming presence actually making you feel better.

Yet your heartbeat couldn't stop beating and Jaemin could feel it. 

"Again," his low voice made your arms skin shiver with goosebumps, your breathing getting irregular instead of steady. 

"Focus on my hand and your breath," he said but his gaze falling on your slightly open lips wasn't helping you focus at all. 

He blinked and looked up into your eyes again. 

It was even worse. "Jaemin, I'm fine now.” 

The boy blinked a few times and retrieved his hand slowly. 

Your breath calmed down and Jaemin took it for a good sign since he returned to his side of the bed. 

It became silent so suddenly that you could hear Jaemin swallow. 

Thank you? Thank you for being here? Or, thank you for helping me out. Sorry for slapping your hand away? Is this what you should have said, right?

“Then, I’ll be going now,” his soft voice disrupted the silence and your bed creaked in the darkness as he presumably got up. 

No, wait, wait. 

"Why do I become like this at night?" you whispered instead. 

Jaemin’s silhouette against your dark blue windows moved around and lied on the bed again, this time on his stomach, bust raised on his elbows, eyes probably on the shadows of your face. 

"It's because the front part of your brain gets quieter and gives space to the other parts of your brain where feelings are."

"Why do you always have a good answer to everything?" 

You heard Jaemin's breath form a light chuckle. 

"Many people told me that before."

"Okay, right."

"No, wait, I meant that- I'm not bragging, sorry--it came out very weirdly." 

You smiled, the dark and sudden sleepiness making you care less about keeping up your cold image. 

"You want to be a psychiatrist?" "I don't know."

You turned on your side, hands pressed under your face, knees buckled until almost touching his hips. "Why is that?" 

Jaemin sighed. "I don't know if I'm good at helping people." 

The laugh you let out took both of you by surprise. "Are you joking?" 

The boy exhumed perplexed energy even if you couldn’t see him properly. 

"You're a human matt with weird gigantic patience. You'll help people alright." "A human mat?" Jaemin raised his eyebrow at you but you still noticed the amused twinkle in his eyes. "Yeah, you have no self-esteem,” you went on. "I have self-esteem," the other protested. "If you did, you wouldn’t let people treat you like that."

Jaemin let the clock on your wall fill the silence with its ticks for a little while. 

"Like what?" he whispered. 

You rolled on your back, unable to look at him anymore. "Like how I treat you." 

"So you're aware of that." 

"So you're aware of that as well but choose to ignore it instead of fighting back?" 

Jaemin rolled on his back as well, hand rising to his forehead and ruffling his fringe. 

You stared at the way the strands fell back exposing his forehead then you looked at his furrowed eyebrows and finally at his lips when he opened them to speak. "What's the point in fighting back?" 

A car roared outside your open window, giving you more time to collect your thoughts. 

"What's the point in being stupidly kind like that?" you finally spoke up. Your voice was a little whisper as if you secretly wanted Jaemin to not hear you. But he did. 

"So I can live by my principles." "And are you happy?" 

Ah. 

Shit. 

Jaemin was at a loss of words. 

"Isn't it better to just be yourself and do whatever the fuck you want?" you went on. "Like you?" he finally spoke up. "Yeah." "But you're not doing what you want.”

It was your turn to have no words to choose from. 

"You're not yourself, are you?" he asked. "I am," but your voice didn't seem convincing even to your ears. "People are not going to like you more if you behave as you do," you added. "And what should I do to make people like me?" Jaemin inquired. "Nothing. Just be yourself."

Jaemin sat up slowly and briefly looked out of the window. 

"Then you should follow this advice as well. Stop putting on this act."

You didn't sleep the whole night after Jaemin slowly exited your room.

_____

The next day you already left when Jaemin got up and walked to the kitchen. 

He heard you leave actually. He couldn't sleep the whole night either. 

Are you happy? Are you yourself?

No. After turning and rolling on his bed Jaemin got to the conclusion that he wasn't happy or himself at all. 

Not all the time at least. 

Because most of the times he did care about people, but he could also point out times when he did too much for no reason, getting back nothing but a bittersweet taste on his tongue. 

When he came back home after class, an intense sweet fragrance welcomed him first as he stepped inside. With the back turned at him and wearing his black apron, you were frantically looking for something in the kitchen cabinets. 

Jaemin indulged in looking at you for a little while, a fizzy feeling inside his chest, small happiness created by moments like finding money in an old jacket, a little surprise you didn’t need but that made your day better. 

How would it feel to behave like you? Would Jaemin be able to do it? 

At first, Jaemin wondered why you were like that, but after the previous night, he hit his head with an imaginary palm, feeling stupid for not realizing it earlier. 

You were just like him. 

Hiding something in front of people. 

He cleared his throat and smiled when you jolted with a little scream. “For fuck’s sake.” 

Yeah, you were hiding the little girl he saw crying on her bed and he was hiding the needy little boy that so desperately wanted to be loved. 

“I’m sorry for startling you,” he let his bag fall on the floor as he sat on the kitchen stools in front of you. “Are those cookies?” he indicated the oven with his chin. 

You adjusted your clothes as if suddenly realizing how embarrassing it was to wear an apron. 

“Why ask obvious questions?” 

Jaemin’s smile widened until showing his teeth and you felt like either fight him or run away from his eyes. What a weirdo, you thought. It was almost as if he was enjoying your moodiness. 

“Are you looking for something?” he asked again. You crossed your arms on your chest and Jaemin thought that seizing you in the act of being domestic was something that highly embarrassed you. 

He loved it. 

“No.” The boy rested his head on one arm, tilting his head to the side, already knowing what you were trying to do before. “Shall we decorate the cookies together? I can make the icing. The colouring is in the other cabinet.” 

You turned around and stared at the only place you didn’t look before. “I wasn’t trying to decorate them,” you lied. 

Jaemin lifted his hands as if innocent. “Never said that,” then smiled as you rolled your eyes. 

“Do you have plans tonight?” he walked around you to retrieve the decorations and you felt your breath hitch when he had to press himself on your back. “Because the cookies have to cool down first,” Jaemin explained. 

You didn’t reply and untied your apron, suddenly regretting your decision to remain in the kitchen instead of hiding in your room. 

“Watch a movie with me, please?” 

The “no” was already on the tip of your tongue but then you heard the “please” and your eyes moved to Jaemin’s face by themselves. His hands were pressing into the isle, shoulders raised as if he was trying to lift himself, the evident nervousness in his expression making you feel at a loss of words. 

You didn’t expect Jaemin to be shy. Why was he shy? To ask you to watch a movie with him? That made him shy? 

“Okay.” 

His eyes widened. “Okay?”

You almost laughed at how surprised he was and you had to admit that seeing him run around the kitchen to get to the living room was pretty adorable. 

A little sigh, as if a warning, left your lungs when you walked towards the couch. You were probably doing a mistake, but Jaemin - God - Jaemin was so kind. 

Watching his back as he was sat down on his knees in front of the tv, so eager to spend some time with you, even if it was fake, even if he didn’t really care, made your heart swell up. No one has behaved like that before. Maybe it was alright. 

“Okay, but I choose the movie,” you extended the hand and Jaemin got up, placing the remote controller on your palm. His smile never left his lips as you shuffled the options. “What about this?” Jaemin read the description with squinty eyes. "Oh, I don't like happy endings." You looked at him. "Why is that?" 

The boy remained quiet for a moment. 

"I think it's because you relate a lot to a sad story and it describes your life so well that you get mesmerized in it. You finally feel understood. Others are going through the same struggles. But then they get a happy ending and- you don't.”

Jaemin’s fingers played with one of the threads of his shorts and you blinked at his unexpected words. 

“It becomes a reminder of how your life could go if you were lucky like them. But you're not. That's when you can't relate anymore and it becomes even sadder. Instead of being a sort of relief, the happy ending is another punch in the gut, since I'll never be able to experience something like that,” he smiled after the last phrase as if he had just said that the best colour to decorate the cookies was blue. 

Suddenly it felt as if the reality was altered. 

Jaemin's face was a concentrated mask, trying to read other movies descriptions and you desperately wanted to touch it with your fingertips. 

But you touched the back of his hand instead and Jaemin looked down at his thigh before looking up. 

You didn’t know what expression you had on but the boy was so good at understanding people that you could have had a blank face and he would have known what you were feeling. 

He smiled warmly at you and held your hand, squeezing it a little bit. 

“I’m fine.” “It’s alright to be weak,” you almost talked on top of him. “Or to have desires.” 

Jaemin opened his mouth and closed it a few times like a fish and you both jolted when the ding of the oven told that the cookies were baked. 

The boy reluctantly let your hand go when you got up and walked towards the kitchen. 

The smell was incredible and despite the weird saddened energy of the room, you both smiled at each other when locking eyes.

_____

Jaemin got used to your love language very quickly. 

After cookies, came breakfast, and after that, it was the turn of a small gadget you found at the flea market. 

“It’s so ugly that the first person I thought of was you.”

You still kept the insulting wall but Jaemin loved that part of you as well. 

He ate your gratitude made of sweets and desserts, and looked at it in bed, rolling the little bald man made of wood on his palm. 

A night Jaemin would think a lot about, was when you were hammered, bodies spread on the living room floor, eyes closed, soft music in the background to make the ambience less awkward. But you didn’t care about awkwardness as soon enough, the only thing your dizzy heads could think of was nothing at all. 

With a wavering hand, Jaemin felt around him, searching for the bottle of “you’ve never tasted such good cognac before, I’m sure” cognac that Haechan sent him.

 And the “Oh, perhaps I’m getting engaged :P”.

Jaemin stared at the note for a long time then stared at the bottle of amber liquid, his hands gripping it hard. 

You took it from his hands before he could unreasonably smash it on the ground. 

“Are you okay?”

The bottle was put down on the kitchen counter and Jaemin looked at it first then at your concerned eyes, as you’ve started to do more often lately. 

Jaemin didn’t know what expression he had on but whatever it was, it made you take a few steps towards him when he didn’t reply. 

“Yeah,” he breathed out after a little while, trying to put on his normal smile. But when you wrapped his waist with your arms he didn’t stop the tears falling silently on his cheeks. 

He did not sob, nor wail. Jaemin just stood there, arms unable to hug you back. And when you dragged him by the hand, the bottle under your arm, making him sit down on the floor, he just obliged. 

“Let’s drink to that.” 

And Jaemin didn’t know if you meant his broken heart or Haechan’s happiness but he nodded and took a sip of the sweet drink. The bottle travelled back and forth between you until you couldn’t sit up anymore. 

Lying down, the sun setting, the same few songs playing on a loop since no one had the energy to change the playlist, Jaemin couldn’t find the bottle anymore so he just grabbed your hand instead. 

You didn’t say anything and intertwined your fingers with his, mind circling the spot Jaemin’s thumb was circling on your skin. 

"I feel like people love me for how I make them feel.”

The boy’s voice was hoarse and it made your chest tingle. 

You listened, squeezing his hand as to invite him to go on. 

“I know everything about them. I know how to make them feel good. I listen and I love. I love a lot.” 

“You do.”

Jaemin swallowed hard. 

You didn’t have to look to know that his cheeks were wet again. 

“I tried to be perfect. So I could be loved back.”

“You don’t have to do that. You just got an example of that not working very well anyway.”

A sniff. 

“I know. But the little amount I still get now, would it be there if I didn’t try as hard as I’m trying right now? Would people care about me if I wasn't perfect? Would they love me if I didn't do what they need me to? Honestly, I'm terrified to find out.” 

You sighed and let his hand go, rolling on your stomach and lifting your bust on our forearms to be able to look at Jaemin. 

The boy opened his reddened eyes and tilted his head to the side to meet your gaze. 

“If you try so hard and still get so little, you don’t need that love.” 

Jaemin blinked once, listening to your soothing voice, the evening breeze lightly swooshing his hair spread around his head. 

“As you said, they probably still love you for how you make them feel and not for how you are,” and Jaemin visibly flinched at the hard truth. “But,” you grabbed his hand again, not wanting to let him despair, “there are also people that love you because of who you are, even if you confuse them with those that love you for what you do. And I’m sure Haechan is one of them, it just didn’t go well.” “It didn’t have to go well. It has never been something that could go. It’s just my fault that-” but you shushed him pulling at his hand as to make him stop talking. “You can still admit that he hurt you. He didn’t do it on purpose but it’s not your fault either. And it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you. Sometimes you can try very hard and people would still not care in the same way that you do, and it’s alright. It’s not you. It’s them.” 

Jaemin kept his eyes closed as you talked, his chest rising with deep breaths and you placed a hand on it just like he did to you before. 

“Do you like me?” 

His question took you by surprise. 

“You can say no. I’m sorry, I’m putting a lot of pressure on you right now-” “I do.” 

The boy opened his eyes, staring at you from underneath his long lashes. “Why?” 

You stared down at your intertwined fingers. The truth was that you also liked him for how he made you feel. He never snapped, he accepted you, he tried hard to get to you and it was something that you’ve never experienced before. But what does that also mean about him? 

“Because you’re a beautiful human being.” 

Jaemin’s eyes widened imperceptibly. 

“You’re kind and patient and so sweet. And I know that it looks as if I’m saying only the stuff that has to do with me, like, you’re kind with me, and patient with me and sweet with me. But honestly, I would have liked you even if you were like that with other people and not with me.”

You looked up at his face and bit your lower lip. “Also, would you not like me if I understood you the way you understand others? Would that be only loving the way I make you feel? Would that be a bad thing?” “It’s a bad thing only if you were kind to me only to be loved back when in reality you’re not.” “Yeah. And you’re not doing that, are you? You think you’re not deserving of love without trying to be kind but you’re naturally like that, Jaemin. You’re just unhealthily pushing yourself sometimes. It’s not like you’d stop being kind if you stopped trying. Because you’re already kind. And people will love you the same.”  

The boy didn’t add anything to that. 

He pulled you by the hand until you softly landed on his chest and wrapped your body with his arms. 

You could feel his quick heartbeat under your chest and he probably could feel yours. His warm breath caressed your forehead until you fell asleep. 

_____

The day after, Jaemin was the usual boy. 

His teeth were the first thing you saw when you woke up with a groan.  “Good morning.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows when your eyes focus on the background. “What the hell am I doing in your bed?” 

Jaemin giggled and tugged your body against his, making you realize that he has been hugging you the whole time. 

“Let me go!” you tried to escape but Jaemin didn’t budge. 

“We’re just cuddling,” his muffled voice on the sweatshirt you were wearing sounded whiny and sleepy. 

“Why are we cuddling? What the fuck happened last night?” 

Your body stiffened when Jaemin threw a leg on your hips like a koala. 

“Nothing. We got drunk and cried, then we fell asleep on the floor.” 

You waited. 

“And then I woke up and took ourselves on my bed where we cuddled some more until falling asleep again.” 

You waited some more. 

“There’s something you’re not telling me, Jaemin.” The boy raised his face from your shoulder to show you his innocent puppy eyes. “Like what?” “Like why I have nothing on besides your hoodie.” 

Jaemin’s face lit up in a bright smile and he hid his face into you again as if shy. 

“You were thirsty and drank water from the tap.” 

“And?” you were losing all of your patience while your cheeks heated up. 

“And your clothes got all wet.”

“Jaemin, for fuck’s sake, talk normally. Did you undress me?” 

The boy shook his head. “You took them off by yourself,” he paused. “While trying to give me a lap dance.” 

You choked on air and tried to cover your face with your hands, but Jaemin’s koala arms prevented you from doing so. 

What the fuck. What the actual fuck. 

“But you just took your clothes off and fell on me. Nothing happened. I forced you to wear my hoodie. Then you wanted to cuddle and we fell asleep as you kept saying how pretty my eyelashes are.” 

Oh my God. 

“And that’s it?” you asked with a little voice. 

Jaemin looked at you again and his face was so close that you felt as if on fire, the thought of being naked in front of him and doing stuff you couldn’t remember at all. 

“Yeah, unfortunately.” 

You hit him on the forehead and as he giggled, hands pressing on the spot, you could free yourself and run away in your room.

It was something you would have never imagined, the feeling between your legs.

 You breathed in and out, trying to calm yourself, but your skin still remembered where Jaemin’s hands were placed just seconds ago. And his breath on your neck. And your eyes couldn’t get rid of his sunlit chocolate eyes. 

Oh, fuck. 

This shouldn’t have happened. 

You didn’t predict this happening at all and it made you go crazy just like the heat spreading through your body as your hand slipped down your stomach. You didn’t think. Your mind was blank and your fingers moved on their own, teeth biting your lower lip, knees buckling until your frame slipped on the door and meeting the floor. Legs open and back pressed onto the hard wood, you closed your eyes and gasped, hoping that Jaemin’s hangover ears could not hear you.

_____

Jaemin loved how things started to go between you. Bad mannered and moody, you still snapped at him but didn’t run away when he would laugh and pull you into his arms. 

Perhaps Jaemin was making a mistake. The same mistake all over again. 

Perhaps he was giving and giving, thinking the other party felt the same, but he didn’t care anymore. That’s how he was. He wasn’t trying. He felt like hugging you and kissing your forehead just to hear your scream, loving the little smile blooming on your lips when you thought he wasn’t looking. 

He bathed into your silent affection and soon your affection became something else he wouldn’t have expected. 

“I think you should stay at home.” 

Jaemin adjusted his raincoat with furrowed eyebrows. You were standing near the wall of the corridor and watched him about to go out in the pouring rain. 

“Jaemin. There’s a storm outside. Your friend can just call a tow truck or something.” 

The boy has been in a rare bad mood for a little while that day and when he heard that his friend got a flat tire his mood didn’t get any better. And now, with you looking at him as if he was doing something wrong when his conscience was telling him it was the right choice made him unreasonable angry. Because he knew that he should probably listen to you. 

“I know.” 

You huffed. “Then tell him to go fuck himself and stay home.” Jaemin let his shoe fall down on the floor annoyed. “Why do you care so much suddenly?” and while saying it he was already regretting it but was unable to stop. “You’ve hated me since day one and now you care about my well-being?” 

You tightened your lips. “I don’t hate you. I thought-- you understood.” 

Your vulnerability made Jaemin close his eyes for a second. “Fuck, I do. I always do. I understand everyone and I hate it.” 

Sudden lighting made his face spectral and you took a step back. 

“Just stop being a human mat and stop doing stuff you don’t want to do. We’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?” 

If the boy was cooling down, that phrase took it all out of the window. 

“You think it’s easy? Why don’t you stop saying no to everything and start being kinder then? We’ve talked about that as well. You can’t do it either.” 

“I bet I can go one day with saying yes to everything but you can’t go a day by saying no or doing what you want instead of what other people want,” you dared him. 

Jaemin scoffed. “Yeah, sure. I would want to see that.” 

You crossed your arms on your chest determined. “Okay. Starting from this moment I’m going to say yes. What about you? Are you going to refuse people and do what you want? I don’t think so.” 

Jaemin stared at you for a split second and his expression became one you’ve never seen him wear before. With a fluid movement, he filled the space between you until your faces were a breath away from each other. “I want to fuck you. How about that?” 

You almost gasped as you stared at his dark eyes, the storm outside the window giving him an even more dangerous aura. 

Gulping down, your mind started to run and search for an appropriate answer, but it wasn’t necessary as your lips betrayed you by forming a quiet “okay, deal.”

Jaemin’s pupils trembled as if he was surprised himself, yet his hands were quick, stripping him of his raincoat, letting it fall to his feet. 

“The safe word is,” he whispered slowly, “forest.”

You swallowed again, feeling your throat suddenly dry, then you chuckled trying to mask your nervousness. 

“Okay, but forest? Really? That’s very stupid-,” but you couldn't complete your shaky sentence as you found yourself dragged towards the bedroom and knocked on the bed in a second, ass up in the air with Jaemin’s hands on it. “Stupid?” he asked irritated. “Start fucking counting.”   You shivered even though your blood felt like boiling. Not in a thousand years, you would have expected Jaemin to manhandle you like that. 

Spank. 

A little yelp, more because of the surprise than the actual pain since your thick jeans didn’t really allow for much friction, escaped your lips. “One.” Your voice was trembling. “Good girl,” Jaemin’s voice was almost a deep whisper. 

Spank. 

“T-two,” you stuttered as Jaemin increased the force. 

Spank. 

You whined. “Three.” “God, I’ve wanted to do this the first time you left your dirty stuff in the sink and refused to clean up.”

Spank. 

“F-four. So you’re actually able to feel human emotions such as anger, huh?” you chuckled breathlessly. 

Spank. You moaned and your panties started to get too wet and hot for your liking. 

No five could come out of your lips as Jaemin grabbed your arms and rolled you over on your back. His eyes were full of fire and you felt your core tingle as he got on the bed as well, kneeling between your open legs, resting his weight on his hands pressed on each side of your head. “I’m going to stuff you up so hard. Let’s see if you’ll be able to talk back again, princess.” You were about to chuckle, pretending that his words didn’t affect you, but you lost it at the pet name. A little gasp left your lips in the form of a single breath and Jaemin got even closer as if catching it. “Oh, you like it? You want to be called like that?” he teased you. You gulped nervously and nodded. “Then I won’t do it,” he whispered, mouths almost touching. You raised your head to connect his lips with yours but Jaemin pulled away with a laugh until you couldn’t reach him anymore. Then he got closer again when you rested your head down. “Wanna kiss me?” his voice caressed your ears just the way one of his hands started to draw little circles down your neck. You turned your head to the side, giving him more space. “Hm?” he asked while the tip of his tongue traced the outline of your ear. You shivered at the sensation. “Yeah, wanna kiss you,” you replied, remembering the dare, even though, you realized with deep shame, you would have answered positively anyways. Jaemin’s soft chuckle added to the sensation growing between your legs and you would have rubbed them together if Jaemin’s bust weren’t there, so close to your core yet so far away. “Ask me nicely,” he ordered. You bit your lower lip and looked up at him, trying to flirt back, maybe making Jaemin weak the way he was making you feel. But the boy’s smile never flattered. “Do you not want to kiss me?” you fluttered your eyelashes. Jaemin shook his head. “No.” “I want to kiss you so badly though,” you tried again. “Sounds like a you problem.” “Okay, so you’re not actually able to feel human emotions,” you dropped the sugary tone. “This is pretty human in my book,” he lowered his hips grinding on you, his hard cock making you jolt even through the layers of clothes. “I have to do what I want right? Then I want to fuck you until there’s no trace of that attitude left, but on my terms,” and you would have replied if Jaemin didn’t rise on his knees again, looking at you sprawled in front of him like a full meal and if his hands didn’t go to your waistband, unbuttoning your pants and roughly dragging them down. Your legs fell on the bed like dead weight after the jeans were thrown somewhere in the room. Jaemin got between them again but not to do what you hoped he would. Instead, he reached on the shelves behind you and you recognized the sound before seeing the object: a pair of shiny metal handcuffs. Your eyes widened at the sight and Jaemin chuckled. “You want me to tie you up?” you tried to joke, knowing damn well that they weren’t for his wrists. Jaemin ignored your useless question and handcuffed you, tugging at the chain connecting your hands, making you whine as he hooked it to a nail above your head. You looked up, blaming yourself for not noticing it sooner and shivered at the sudden realization that Jaemin had probably done it very often. A little fear of what he might do to you crept in the back of your mind but instead of spreading panic through your body, it spread a wave of pleasure, collecting itself in a single pulsating point between your legs. “Tell me the truth. It’s the first time you’re not the one tied to the bed, right?” you teased him. “No, but it does look like it’s your first time, isn’t it, love?” his eyes were sweet and kind, the usual look Jaemin would give you in the morning or before going to bed, yet it changed in a second as he calmly slipped his fingers on your hips, getting under your panties and dragging them down your thighs. He twirled them around his finger a few times, the tip of his tongue moisturizing his dry lips as he drank in the view of your spread legs. “You’re not taking off this?” you tried to drift his attention to your face instead, shimming your bust as to indicate what you were talking about, suddenly very shy of you being so exposed to him and definitely not used to the look on his face. But Jaemin didn’t budge. He still stared where he wanted, as if almost caressing you with his gaze as he replied. “It would be a shame. That’s my hoodie, isn’t it? Tell me,” he got closer, hovering over you, finally looking at you in the eyes, making you regret that he wasn’t looking away as before, “does it still have my perfume on? Were you thinking about me today just as you touched yourself that time while wearing it?” he purred and chuckled at your shocked expression. “This apartment has very thin walls, angel. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll tell you my little secret as well, yeah?” You nodded breathlessly. “I was fucking my fist to your pretty moans as well, thinking about your sweet lips wrapped around my cock,” he rubbed his thumb on your lower lip, making you open your mouth as if about to kiss you, then smirked. “What about you? Were you thinking about this-” he let his hand fall from your face down your body until reaching between your legs, touching your wet core with two fingers, dragging them up and down slowly. You jolted, inhaling sharply at the feeling, eyes unable to stay open. “-or maybe this?” his voice was a whisper as his fingertips circled your clit, snapping a whine out of you. His shiny necklace was dangling in front of your face, then it laid on your chest as he got closer and pressed his lips on your neck, sucking your skin in, playing with it with his tongue. “Was it perhaps this?” he spoke again as he easily slipped his middle finger inside of you. The wet sounds of him pumping your pussy made you even more aroused and it probably had the same effect on Jaemin since a little low growl roared in his chest. He slipped another finger in. “Do you hear it? So wet and all for me,” his hot breath ghosted your ear. “Jaemin, please,” you mumbled, the building up sensation keeping you on the edge but not enough to grow to what your gut needed. Jaemin raised his bust and sat down on his heels with a cocky smile, looking at the way his fingers disappeared inside you, glistening with your juices. “You’re in no position to ask for anything, angel,” he reminded you calmly. “But I appreciate the please. Now, let’s learn to say thank you as well, shall we?” You whined, rocking your hips against his hand, urging him to go faster. The boy raised an eyebrow at your eagerness and let himself down on his elbows between your legs. “Do you want to feel my tongue?” “Yes, yes, please,” you replied, all of your pride out of the window. “Like this?” he licked your inner thigh. You protested and it only made Jaemin more amused. “Sorry, like this?” he drew a line on one of your lips, so close yet so far. “Jaemin, I’ll fucking make you pay,” you spoke through your teeth and Jaemin clicked his tongue as if disappointed, retrieving his fingers from you and leaving you all empty. “No, no, no,” you wailed, eyes wide staring at him. “What was that? Did I hear some-” he cupped his ear with one hand in a playful act, “-attitude?” “Shit, Jaemin, you said you’re going to fuck the attitude out of me, yet here you are, not doing anything to me.” Jaemin’s smile disappeared in a second leaving space for a dark expression. Usually, he would have continued to smile, but this Jaemin was a different person. “Oh, be careful what you wish for, angel,” he whispered and dove into your core, not leaving you a single second to breathe in properly. You moaned hard feeling his quick tongue, curling your toes and tugging at the handcuffs keeping your arms painfully above your head. “Oh oh- fuck me,” and he did it, lapping at your wetness, fingers shoved back inside of you, quick to find your sweet spot thanks to your increasing moans guiding his movements. His name on your whiny lips probably made him insane since he started to move even quicker, so quick to make you arch your back, not stopping even when you started to uncontrollably shake, coming all over his tongue. Your legs tried to get together but Jaemin didn’t agree with that, slapping your thighs away his with free hand and diving back in, sucking on your clit as if nothing happened. You cried out and mumbled something about stopping but Jaemin didn’t accept anything besides the safe word. Deaf to your protests, he ravaged you until hearing your loud whimpers again, this time shaking so hard that the bed frame moved with you, your wrists hurting as you tugged at the handcuffs again. Only then Jaemin lifted himself on his knees again, breathless, your juices wetting his lips and chin, a thin layer of sweat matting his fringe to the forehead. “How are we feeling, baby?” he grabbed the collar of his t-shirt and undressed himself, revealing one of the best bodies you’ve seen in real life. Unable to speak, still coming down from your high, you just stared at him, fucked numb, and he still didn’t even put his cock to good use yet. “Good,” Jaemin seemed satisfied as he caressed his abs, going down to the waistband of his grey sweats with a slow movement. He teased you like that for a second, loving the way your eyes were trained on his hard one. “You want it?” he asked with a smirk, palming it and outlining its form. “Yes,” you managed to say. Jaemin clicked his tongue. “You’re back to speaking now. Better do something about it,” he commented and took off his bottoms alongside his boxers. In a single movement, your legs were around his waist and the tip of his cock was tasting your entrance. Jaemin moved it up and down with his hand, spreading your abundant juices on it, making you almost whimper with expectation before finally filling you up slowly with a deep grunt. And you felt every centimetre of it, stretching you out, making the air leave your lungs in the same moment until you felt it hit far inside where no cock has possibly touched before. “Shit-” Jaemin whispered as you moaned, slowly making more space inside your tight walls by swiftly rolling his hips. He didn’t need to keep the pace low for a long time though as you quickly adjusted to his girth, high pitched pleasure whimpers leaving your rough throat instead of pained ones. Jaemin swore again, thrusting every time faster, grabbing your legs and putting them on his shoulders, hitting it from a better angle. "Louder, baby. I want to hear your moans." You bit your lower lip, the remnants of your brattiness lingering on your tongue. "Then make me moan, Jaemin-," and in that second you realized that you've fucked up. Jaemin descended in a breath, making your thighs touch your chest, one of his hands deeply pressed into the pillow, the other tightened around your throat. He was quick. Oh, he was so quick you felt like you were about to go blind. "Like this? Huh?" the creak of the bed and the slapping of the skin almost covering his teeth spoken questions. When you came you felt your eyes roll back and Jaemin finally let you inhale, oxygenating your fucked out brain. Little pleas slipped your trembling lips, imitating your shaking muscles. But Jaemin didn't stop until you felt his hot cum spurting deep inside of you, making you clench hard around him, finally hearing his choked moans as well. His hips moved and moved until you begged. “Jaemin, Jaem- I can’t, I can’t take this anymore." “You know what to say, angel. A single word and I’ll stop,” he reminded you. You bit your lower lip, staring at him in the eyes. “Oh, so you like it that much, huh? Like - a - little - slut," he accompanied each of his last four words with a deep thrust. "Your tight little pussy can’t take it anymore but you still want it, isn’t that right, princess? You like to be used like this, just as I please. You’re filled up so much that it’s dripping out, baby. Would you let me use your other pretty holes as well?” “Fuck, Jaemin, you’re driving me crazy,” you whined, a few warm tears collecting to the sides of your eyes. “Oh, my baby is crying because it’s that good? Do you love it? You want more of my cock, right?” he cooed sweetly. “Yes, yes, please,” you squirmed underneath him. “No,” he shook his head amused slipping out of your hot pussy, slapping your clit with his tip. You jolted and tugged at the handcuffs. Jaemin smiled and jerked his cock between your legs. "Oh, fuck," his voice darkened as his fingers wrapped his glistening cock, fucking himself while looking at your abused pussy. He was so hot, with strands of wet hair to hide his eyes, open red lips to let out deep grunts and his abs flinching when his thumb would press into the tip of his cock that a little whine escaped your lips. "Give it to me." Jaemin looked up at your begging face with a smirk, hand not slowing down at all. "Where do you want it?" You let your tongue out and you could visibly see the moment during which Jaemin forced a moan down his throat. In a second your arms were down and you sighed relieved as he silently unlocked the handcuffs. But you didn't live that pleasurable moment for long that your bruised wrists were grabbed again to make you stand up on your knees in front of him. Jaemin looked at your face for a short while, almost tenderly, eyes darting from your eyes to your lips, before he gripped your head and forced your on all fours, his other hand keeping his cock aligned to your face. You whimpered at the sudden movement but opened your mouth, looking up at Jaemin, waiting for him to do whatever he wanted to you. And he did just that. A choked moan vibrated up his length as he thrust on your tongue, making you taste yourself and his cum at once. Jaemin hummed once then whined, stopping the air inside his nose as if choking before releasing it with through his open mouth and it was so sexy that you desired to listen to his sounds forever. And they got louder as you bobbed your head, his hands loosely gripping your face before palming your shoulders and back, going further until reaching your ass and grabbing it, kneading your soft flesh, shoving himself even further inside your throat. Overstimulated, it took him less time to cum the second time and you loved it how briefly at your mercy he was when you let his cock out, a little string of saliva connecting your tongue to his tip, jerking him off until feeling his seed paint your face. "So fucking hot, fuck-," he groaned, staring down at your expression until you milked him all up. 

Both breathless you just looked at each other until a little smile broke on your lips. He followed suit and chuckled, one trembling hand searching for his t-shirt to clean you up. 

"Wait," he said when you sat up,  putting one finger to your cheek and sucking it clean. 

"Delicious," you raised one eyebrow. "Yeah, I bet," Jaemin replied sarcastic one hand sliding on your jaw while the other cleaned up your cheeks. You closed your eyes with a smile and waited for him to be done, not expecting the little peck he places on your lips. 

When you opened your eyes surprised, Jaemin continued to pat your skin as if nothing happened. 

"What was that?" you inquired. 

The boy blinked at you innocently. "You had something on your lips."

Your smile grew. "And it's all off now? I think there's some left. Wanna check?" 

Jaemin let the t-shirt go on the side in that instant and kissed you deeply, almost making you fall on your back. It was soft and careful, yet so intense that if you wouldn't have felt so spent it would have turned you on again. And maybe you still could go on for a while because when Jaemin tilted your head to the side and circled your tongue with his, you could have sworn that the heat between your legs came back stronger than ever. 

"Wait here," he whispered on your skin and got up, letting you admire the back view until he disappeared outside the room. 

With a deep sigh, you let yourself fall on the bed again, stretching your sore muscles, the realization that you've just had some mad sex slowly creeping in. 

When Jaemin came back you were almost drifting to sleep, lulled by the sound of the rain. 

"Come." A little whine rolled out of your lips as you opened your eyes again. Jaemin smiled looking at you for a few moments before sliding his arms under your knees and waist. 

"Jaemin, wait, no-," you jolted awake but not being able to do anything besides wrapping your arms around his neck. "You can't carry me-," but he shushed you and in a few moments you were already in the bathroom, the hot water still filling the bathtub. 

He put you down and held your waist when you realized your legs were still wobbly and helped you step inside the soapy water. When he followed suit, placing himself behind you and pulling you towards him, you felt your cheeks on fire. 

"You alright?" he whispered, hands already trained on your body, massaging your body softly. 

You nodded and inhaled sharply as he traced your bust with two fingers, going down between your legs. "Jaemin-," your thighs closed around his wrist while your face pressed on his bicep to your left. 

His soft chuckle brushed against your temple. "I'm not doing anything. Just cleaning you out," he had the courage to say. When you arched your back he retrieved his hand and grabbed a soft loofah. With gentle and careful strokes, he passed it on your skin starting from the chest and shoulders then going down on your torso, giving a little bit too much attention to your breasts. Too turned on but also embarrassed about him washing you up, you could just stare at the way the bubbly water dripped on your skin and when he ordered you to turn around, you couldn't bear to look at him in the eyes. Hands on our ankles, as you rested your back to the other side of the tub, he worked your legs up slowly, enjoying the view and your shy expression maybe too much. 

"You're so beautiful," he commented in a low, playful tone and you felt like asking him to get you off for the nth time that night. 

Perhaps it showed on your face or maybe he could read minds, but when he reached your inner thighs, he let he loofah float and touched you with his fingers, pulling you towards him until you straddled his lap. 

"The bet is off now. You can insult me just like before," he smirked while his fingers made their way between your aching folds. 

The breath you inhaled was shaky and you had to press your forehead against his, your hands restless on his wet shoulders. 

"I wasn't like that because of the bet," you confessed and Jaemin's pupils visibly trembled while his lips curved in a little smile. "And I'm not like this now because of it either."

A low sound vibrated in Jaemin's chest before he whispered against your open mouth. 

"So you saying that you're actually a good girl?" 

You nodded, unable to speak as the boy's fingers picked up the pace on your clit. 

"I know," he placed a peck on the corner of your mouth, "you're such a good girl," a peck on your jaw, "especially for me" a peck on your neck. 

You exhaled with a whine and let your head fall back, digging your nails into his skin, finally being able to touch him as you've wanted to do before. Jaemin took the opportunity to let his lips descend to your nipples, sucking them inside the warmth of his mouth, twirling the buds with his wet tongue until it was unbearable for you to not moan his name uncontrollably. 

Your body was all mush when you came again with an almost scream, pulling his head against your chest until his fingertips left your throbbing clit and traced your thigh, going around it and palming your ass. When you finally unclenched your arms from around his neck, he looked up from between the swell of your breasts with a soft giggle. 

"Sorry," you mumbled but he shook his head, a kind of adoration in his eyes that you've never seen before. 

"I loved it-," he started but stopped abruptly afterwards, as if not wanting to let the words aching on his tongue to roll freely. 

You sat down deeper on his thighs until your eyes were at the same level. 

"And?" you touched his chest slowly, fingers still trembling from the high. 

He swallowed, mind running at an incredibly high speed reflected in his suddenly troubled eyes. 

"And I think that-- fuck, I might love you as well." 

Oh. 

It made your whole body shake again. 

Jaemin noticed and you wondered what kind of expression you had on to make him look so worried all of a sudden. 

"Is it too much? Too soon?" he cupped your face with one hand.  

You couldn't look him in the eyes. "I don't know-- I just-" 

Jaemin shushed you. "It's alright. You don't have to do or say anything."

You shook your head and raised your gaze. "I just- I really want to let myself go and believe it."

The boy stayed silent for a moment as if wondering what his next words should be and you hated it. Nights and nights of talking freely with him made you understand how refreshing it was to be yourself and not walk on eggshells around people. And you knew that Jaemin felt the same. Seeing him now, delicate fingers on your skin as if afraid to break you, made your heart ache.  

"You care too much, Jaemin. Don't worry about me like this. We've talked about it."

Jaemin briefly licked his lower lip. "How can I not care about you when no one has cared about you before?" 

And you choked on the amount of tears that suddenly made your vision blurry.  

The boy pulled you towards him and you rested your forehead on his shoulder. "I know," he talked with a shaky voice, "I know I'm too kind and all that stuff and everything you've said is true, I need to change for my own sake, but-," his arms held you even more tightly, "not when it comes to you. I want to be like that with you. And I'm going to change, yes, I'll say no and refuse to do things people ask of me if this is what you want."

His words didn't make your sobs slow down but you raised your face and touched his cheeks. 

"Then I want you to care about yourself the way you care about me, Jaemin." 

"I care about myself now, because you care about me." 

You chuckled. "That's still doing stuff for other people." Jaemin smiled and stroked your under eye with his thumbs. "It's not for other people. It's for you. Because I love you, Y/N." 

You bit your lower lip as a new tide of tears announced their way. 

“I never said I care about you though,” your lower lip trembled after you let it go. “You don’t have to say it.” “I hate you.” “Yeah,” he kissed your lips. “And I don’t like cuddles and I don’t like breakfast.” “Yeah,” he kissed you again. 

And again. 

Until you didn’t let him go anymore and he was sure of being loved back. 

[beelspillowpet]

Hiya!! bros + side characters react to a werewolf mc???

Heya!! I’m not that great with the side characters yet unfortunately, which is why I’ve been avoiding them up to this point. 😭😭😭 I’ll try my best regardless!

~

Lucifer

What the f*ck.

Like actually what the f*ck. A werewolf?? Now he isn’t one to judge- out loud at least- but he can’t help but feel that this is at least a little odd. I guess werewolves are technically a hybrid of human and wolf...

There goes his chances of having a relatively quiet and calm year of this exchange program. Luckily though, you get along with Cerberus swimmingly.

He doesn’t want to compare you to a dog too often- he thinks it might be offensive to your kind. So instead, he treats you more like a human. Unless you ask for otherwise- and why would you? He can’t deny that your reaction to scratching behind your ears doesn’t get a bit of a rise out of him. It’s adorable.

Mammon

DOGGIE?! DOGGIE!

He’s wanted a dog for AGES now. Everyone says he’s too immature to be dedicated and take care of one though. But he has you! You’re just good doggie!

You constantly have to remind him that you aren’t a dog- you’re a werewolf. “I hear ya’ I hear ya’. Now who wants walkies?! You do! Yeah ya’ do!”

He’s attached to you very quickly. He probably does get it through his thick skull at some point that it’s rude to just treat you like a literal dog sometimes- he should leave that to Luke, really. So he does tone it down a bit at some point. He’s your best friend for life now, though.

Leviathan

Wow. It’s like that anime he wanted a little bit ago. Living with you anyways. Except its real, and sometimes it’s like hell.

You are only allowed in his room when you’re not covered in fur. It’s the only way to keep his bathtub bed from being hairy, and all his figurines from being being the same.

Otherwise, hanging out with you is kinda fun. He asks you sometimes what it’s like to be this way. Sometimes he thinks about writing fanfictions based on that one anime (One Day Suddenly A Werewolf Appeared in My House and Is Staying Here With Me and My Brothers and Help Why Are They So Friendly!?) with a more realistic approach.

You two aren’t exactly best friends, but you’re close enough. He knows not to show you cat videos, but at least you have those cute dog videos.

Satan

His first thought was something like “Jacob, is that you?” Then he cringed, because Twilight was a dark chapter in his life, for him.

He’s not THAT fond of werewolves... but his mind wanders back to the excitement of Mammon nearly getting a dog that one time for the family. He tolerates you, at the very least, but at the most, you two get along quite well.

Everyone suspected Satan as the cat-lover, but SURPRISE! His affinity to cats is merely his attraction to their perceived nature. He enjoys your company, especially if you don’t mind his occasional gushing about cats anyways.

As long as you’re well behaved around other animals (you’re from the Human Realm, no? You should be on your best behavior here.) he would enjoy taking you with him on his random outings, especially to cate cafes.

Asmodeus

Oh he can’t fucking wait to do your hair up in little bows and things like that.

He becomes the family groomer- aside from Beel anyway. He loves doing your claws, filing and painting them all these pretty colors that compliment your coat.

Speaking of coats- he’s a little self conscious about the fur coats he has in his closet. If you’re sensitive to those sorts of things, he will be mindful in the future to not wear them around you to not offend. He’s a demon, but he’s not an insensitive jerk! He LOVES you, silly!

Probably doesn’t treat you at all like a dog. In part because you probably get enough of that from Mammon, the pea-brained fool. Doesn’t he know that your true beauty is underneath the fuzzy soft fur!? I mean, just look at those eyes! They’re almost as beautiful as his!

Beelzebub

DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG-

He is BARELY. BARELY. Containing his excitement. If you remember correctly; YES! Beel is a dog lover. An avid one. He isn’t too fond of Cerberus himself, but you’re just his size. Fun sized werewolf. In his attempts at befriending you, he does bring home raw meats and dog treats.

You remind him that you are a werewolf and not a dog- and he calms down a bit. He still gives you tummy rubs after you’ve eaten plenty of food with him. He enjoys the time you two spend together on jogs. He never says it out loud, but it’s like he’s taking his dog for a walk.

He likes spending time with you by default. Please be friends with him. Please like him. He likes you too. You’re his new best buddy, and he’s never letting you go. Prepare for him to lift you up, and squeeze you with his suffocating love, werewolf!

Belphegor

Ya’ll replaced him with a werewolf? Lit.

He’s got a brand new pillow, and it’s name is MC. You two take naps regularly now, you can’t escape his exhausted death grip. He notices that you wag your tail a lot, especially when you’re excited.

He picks that habit up when he sees you. His brothers tease him about it, but he just tells them that they never noticed before. Suuuuure. Over 5,000 years and they’re just now noticing that little habit? Unlikely.

Regardless, he appreciates your company, and that you get along famously with his brothers- especially Beel. Though admittedly, he’s a bit worried that you will accidently scratch him while you two sleep. Nightmares must suck for you, but it certainly sucks for him too if you decided to kick with those claws out.

Diavolo

:D

Oh whose a good doggie? You are! Yes you are!!! Oh YES you are!! This is amazing!!!! The best day ever!!!! Who knew that when he planned this exchange program, a werewolf would end up here!?

He loves talking to you. What’s it like being a werewolf? Are you more human? More wolf? Do you shed? Do you-

Prepare to have the demon prince of hell pestering you and adoring you. You’re his new best friend, sorry Lucifer. Sorry Cerberus. Or rather, you, and he can go on strolls on Cerberus’s back! That would be lovely!

Barbatos

Please. Kill all the rats you find and make sure he doesn’t find them. He doesn’t care that you’re not a cat or anything. Just... do him this one favor.

Otherwise, he doesn’t mind your existence much. He finds the shenanigans you and the others get up to is quite funny, but is mindful and reserved on his teasing and manners around you.

He pampers you, and watches carefully for your interests. If you like certain things, he will be sure to list them down privately and bring them up when needed, the ever attentive and loyal butler he is.

Ok... so he might have a joke or two about you being a werewolf. They aren’t dog-themed, he promises. But would you like a treat? He’s specially baked one for you. It’s a nice cupcake. See? No dog jokes here! :)

Luke

Thank God everyone can stop making dog jokes about him now.

Wait, that was rude wasn’t it?! Forgive him! He loves animals! N-not that you’re an animal or anything, b-but...!

Graah! Forget it, okay?! He’s sorry. He’ll do better, and he’ll start by baking you some sweets. You know, Archangel Michael really likes sweets. He’s gotten pretty good at making them himself, so he’s sure you’ll like them as an apology!

He still gets teased about being a chihuahua, though. He is effectively, you’re puppy, as far as everyone else is concerned.

Solomon

Oh fuck. This is pretty cool.

He won’t stop making dog jokes. He can’t help himself, honestly. It’s too funny.

He appreciates that you don’t take his teasing too seriously, but he seems the least bit surprised that you are a werewolf.

If he comes at you with a fancy knife, he’s planning to make a sacrifice of you. Don’t hold back on this crazy sorcerer, please!

Simeon

Oh my. This wasn’t expected! This year should be most enjoyable!

:)

Will actually not make dog jokes. Unless you find them funny. He has a few dogshit ones to offer~

Like the others, he seems to see you as the superior to Luke. He’s your puppy, treat him well! Of course he’s teasing, all in good faith. He more than likely has inspiration to write in a character like you now. He does have a good point of reference for werewolves now thankfully!

[michaels-reality]

jsaghka whats wrong with ok ko?

Okay so I will spoil the whole main plot of the series with it but there are 3 main problems I’m gonna get into with this series and it’s problems with character design, jokes on child neglect, and ableism with system caricatures. And this is coming from someone who enjoys the show before anyone thinks I’m just hating to hate on it. But again, these issues are so big for me that I would not recommend this show to anyone skjhskjf.

1. Issues with character design

Alright, so first off, please look at this picture of the majority of the women of the show and tell me what’s wrong with it?

Yeah! Almost all of them have the exact same body type! I’ve seen people praise ok ko with its diverse character design but if you boil it down, almost all the women have the same cinched waist and big hips. And for the characters the characters that do have different body types, it's almost unfair to compare them to the rest of the characters, like you can’t compare Carol to Rippy Roo because Rippy Roo is an actual animal. And you can’t compare Dendy to Enid, because Dendy is a child and Enid is a teenager. And for the Ladies that have an actual difference in body type, that’s like 6 characters out of how many? And to those characters that have different body types, the Hue Troops only show up for 2 episodes and even then the main focus isn’t on them so they barely get any screen time, Punching Trudy shows up for one episode to fight Punching Judy, Pheobe shows up for 7 episodes but she’s a background character and I don’t ever remember her speaking, and then there’s Foxtail. Foxtail is probably the only female character that has a different body type that has an important role in the story and shows up for more than just background appearances.

Compared to the men in the show, there is way more diversity but even then, there is a lot of making the upper half of them bigger and giving them tiny hips and legs. 

There is also the issue that kinda pisses me off is the racial ambiguity of everyone. Like most of the characters aren’t even human so whatever, but there are characters like enid that have darker skin but she has straight purple hair so what are we supposed to get from that? I mean, I guess there is some wiggle room for anyone that isn’t white to claim her but then you start to see that all these darker skinned characters seem to always have straight hair and that’s also a problem. The only character I can confidently say is black is foxtail and she has straight hair. And the only character that is said to have curls and an afro is RADICLES who is BLUE and an ALIEN! Like it makes me mad that our curly haired and black coded character is designed like this. Like, I get it, he’s an alien, he’s blue, he’s not human, BUT WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE THE ONLY ONE? WHY CAN’T THERE BE ANOTHER CHARACTER WHO IS DARKER SKINNED AND CURLY HAIRED? 

It’s so ironic given that ok ko has one of the BEST racism metaphors I’ve ever seen in episode 28. Dendy says kappas don’t need pow cards to be heros but it feels nice to be appreciated but this show is not making me feel very appreciated right now sjglksjgds.

2. Jokes about child neglect/abuse

OKAY! BOXMAN! I LOVE BOXMAN BUT WHAT THE FUCK?

Okay, so in the show, Lord Boxman has robot minions that he is constantly annoyed with the performance of and punishes them and yells at them. AND I WOULDN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS IF BOXMAN DIDN’T REFER TO THEM AS HIS CHILDREN! It’s shown in the show that Boxman raised them as baby robots and they call him daddy and they have a very familial relationship. But it’s constantly joked about with Boxman saying how they never make him proud not taken seriously in the show. Like, in the second episode, one of the first things we see Boxman do is put Darrel in the furnace and Darrel says “I deserve this” BUT DON’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY CUS DARREL IS A ROBOT AND HE’S BACK 2 SECONDS LATER! The robots get emotional over any sense of approval, like at the end of “Villains Night In” Darrel and Shannon literally fall apart after Boxman gives them shirts and says to “keep up the good work”, and the end of Plazalypmics, Darrel, Shannon, and Raymond get participation trophies and are really happy with that. Like, this isn’t normal.

The whole relationship between the robots and Boxman is actually pretty toxic and kind of bothers me sometimes. The robots seem to have a very intense sibling rivalry but it’s over the affection of Boxman, which is unhealthy but most of the time it’s just played off as funny joke for the tv. And it becomes even more apparent because episodes without Boxman, like Rad likes robots, it shows them getting along fine and even worrying about each other. And in season 2, Boxman comes back from the sun and Darrel stands up to him and says he doesn’t need him anymore, but one “I’m proud of you” from Boxman and Darrel is back to wanting his approval. LIKE ITS ALMOST NEVER FRAMED AS A BAD THING OR TAKEN SERIOUSLY! I AM NOT A FAN OF HOW THEY TREAT THIS! Like, I can admit it gets better after Venomous comes into the picture and Boxman has that realization of “oh I should be proud of my kids achievements” but to me it looks like this whole forgiving your abuser plot line and I fucking hate it! And Boxman still admits to incinerating his robots after the company switches over to his and Venomous’ ownership when discussing what to do to punish them and he says “I usually see improvement in my robots after I incinerate them.” 

And even if it got better, it’s still played off as a joke in all of season one and normalizes terrible behavior. Child neglect in tv shows, especially in children’s media, played off jokes and funny are never good and can be insensitive to children who are in these situations seeing it played up for laughs. You can argue that being on the villain’s side frames it as a bad thing but that kinda loses meaning in a show like ok ko where you start to see the villains as regular people and not necessarily bad, just “evil”. I just feel like this could have been treated so much better and not trivialized like this.

3. System Caricatures and ableism

Let me start off by saying, I am a singlet and I don’t have as much authority on this type of thing so feel free to correct me on anything I get wrong or add on in anyway. 

With that said, KO and TKO along with Shadowy Figure and Professor Venomous are terrible system caricatures. KO is 6-11 years old is prime age to develop a system, so when shadowy figure comes into KO’s life and traumatizes him, he splits. And so we begin our little “evil alter ego”(quoting the show! using this phrasing is terrible and should never describe a system like that) stereotype.

I’ve talked about OK KO with my friends who are systems and it makes them mad that this show had so many moments to be good system rep and then it turns around and fucks everything up! Like TKO could have been written well. TKO is very clear on stating he isn’t KO and is his own person but everyone still refers to him KO and treats him like a bad thing because he isn’t KO. And when TKO acts out due to being referred to as KO and rightfully being upset, they act like it is some evil act against them and they need KO back! Like, the show misses its own point so much!!! If they treated TKO like a person (which he is!!!!!) then half the problems they have wouldn’t be a problem in the first place. And TKO has done nothing wrong other than wanting to front! KO even talks about TKO as another person but they address him as such! 

The way people talk about TKO in this show makes me so mad, like when Dendy does tests on KO in “Mystery Science Fair 201X” to bring out TKO, TKO finally comes out to deal with the feelings KO can’t deal with and then they almost do it right when Dendy realizes she was the one that fucked up and then SHE APOLOGIZES TO KO INSTEAD OF TKO FSDGHSDFJ!!! And they always treat TKO as a threat as if he’s a danger! Like TKO’s a kid just like KO and acted out when the people around him upset him! Like a kid! And the last time TKO shows up in season one in the finale, TKO actually SAVES everyone in the plaza and leads the battle away from the plaza but because “oh but TKO is the evil” they go and try to stop him from saving them? Like yeah he got a little reckless but he only ended up hurting people in the plaza when Rad and Enid interfered. They treat him like a problem because they MAKE him a problem! 

Also, the moments where everyone tries to bring KO back by saying “you are loved” and all that, that’s actually really manipulative! Like, they’re using positive triggers to kick TKO out of front and that’s actually a really rude thing to do. They’re trying to bring to front who THEY want to see and it’s not fair to TKO who is fronting. It also goes the other way around when Dendy is experimenting on TKO to try and get him to front.

And then even KO treats him terribly, locking him in a cage, then keeping him in his head all the time, and then when he finally lets TKO out and TKO acts out from being locked in his own head for so long, KO then traps TKO in his subconscious. Which is terrible! TKO should be allowed to front and should be treated like his own person! It’s so weird how the show almost gets it right but then does shit like this that makes it terrible again. Like KO has a headspace and he creates things in his headspace and he talks to TKO like another person and they communicate their feelings but then the show turns this all on their head when KO locks TKO away and blames him for destroying everything when he’s the one trapping him in his brain. 

There is also the problem with TKO being the one with all the power and changing his appearance cus that all contributes to the system caricature. Also, TKO and KO integrating at the end of the series? ALSO VERY BAD AND HARMFUL CARICATURE! Alters are different people and they should be treated as different people and KO is not TKO all along THEY ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE! And integration is possible but it’s usually not by choice. And even then, integration being the end goal of a story is a very ableist narrative and shouldn’t be written.

And it confuses me, why does shadowy figure have his own pow card but TKO doesn’t. Like, KO and TKO are established more as being different people than Shadowy Figure and Venomous so why doesn’t he get his own pow card? Like the end of season one, TKO fought the fight at the plaza and used his power to defeat Boxman jr but at the end KO ends up leveling up instead. And on the topic of TKO’s power, again, that shouldn’t be a thing. TKO and KO should both have access to the same power because they use the same body because that's how systems work! They use the same body!

And I know what the show was trying to do like “oh TKO is a manifestation of all the bad feelings that KO has!” but there are so many ways to do that without making a caricature of systems. Like if you didn’t make TKO a person then this would have been fine. Like if other people didn’t see TKO this could have been fine. There are ways to make a manifestation of your negative emotions without doing it like this. And the way this show did it is such bad writing, because you are meant to think TKO is this terrible manifestation of emotions but all you see is this scared kid who doesn’t know where he is and lashes out when he gets rightfully upset. BECAUSE LET ME REMIND YOU! TKO AND KO ARE BOTH 6-11 YEARS OLD! THEY ARE KIDS! THEY’RE SITUATION SHOULDN’T BE TREATED THIS WAY

And my guy shadowy figure...... bad. Shadowy Figure and Venomous’ is not only a terrible caricature but also very inaccurate. With KO and TKO, their system developed at the correct time as a child, but with Shadowy Figure and Venomous, they developed after Venomous got his snake disease. And, Venomous doesn’t even know about Shadowy Figure and that can be a result of dissociative amnesia but it’s really unfortunate. And again! the end of the series! Shadowy Figure and Venomous integrate into one entity and it’s terrible! Because they aren’t the same person and shouldn’t be treated as the same person! And again with the whole “evil alter ego”. Like Shadowy figure only exists to traumatize KO and make him split and create TKO. And the fact that they turn out to be KO’s dad??? Yikes??? Like again, these are terrible caricatures and are harmful to systems and should’ve been treated better in the show.

---

Like, I love OK KO, I used to hold this show very close to my heart and made me very happy to see this show with the amount of LGBT rep but looking back it was very bad in many ways. Like that racism episode I mentioned, that shit resonates with me! And I appreciate characters like Dendy and KO and I still love the boxbots and venomous, I just wished this show lived up to the potential that it had.

TL;DR: OK KO has a problem with misogynistic character design and colorism, normalizes child neglect, and has put out an ableist narrative with system caricatures.

[rotblut]

What did you think of the last episode of silent? Im waiting for it to go back to a sou and aoba focus

,

ughhhhhhhh thinking it’s not that deep just a fictional story but writing a super long rant about it all because i’m mad about it........................ OMGGGGGGGGGG SAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this is gonna be long and messy to read and has all kinds of typos and errors so sorry for that............... but I calmed down now. not mad about it anymore. 

felt kinda betrayed at first, felt manipulated into watching something that they promoted differently from what i actually got out of it 💀💀💀💀 felt really let down and the people really need to reevaluate their opinion about this drama after the first 4 eps, because it’s poorly executed. the insulting stuff that was in ep3+4 are hurtfull and insensitive. not just to the deaf ML but also how they treat the FML like an object. with no real personality outside of the guys? like sure that’s the classic yet terrible romance trope (treating the girl like she doesn’t matter) but it’s still terrible to me. 

pushing the leads to the side in favor of the 2nd ML?????? shifting the focus onto him????????????????? it makes no sense to me? what the fuck does he have that’s inconvinient about his life?????? compared to sou what is he really stuggling with because the shit they show is laughable compared to sou or even tsumugi???? acting like he’s the person who’s suffering the most????????? are we watching the same drama??????????? that’s crazy to me. especially because the 2nd ml is a fucking arsehole (and i’m not talking about ship things here) he’s a big insensitive arsehole in general and pissing me off all the time. the way he’s treating everyone and especially mistreating the leads. 

atm i view ep1+2 as a minimovie and ep3+4 are something else. I feel the same way as i felt watching extraordianry you back in the days. the way they pushed the 2nd ML into the center and made it about him and not about the leads? 2nd ML is suffering the most and gets the most focus??????????? excuse me???????????

all the shit that he’s saying is so not worth it because of the repeated insensitive actions he’s doing and causing to the people around him. his char is a 26 year old grown adult who has everything and yeah okay people can say *well mentally he could be instable* but really??????? it’s not shown, so no. he’s just annoying and he doesn’t deserve my sympathy because of the lack of empathy towards other people. I feel really manipulated and forced by the narrative into caring and liking a char that’s so obnoxious. 

LIKE WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT A NORMAL INSECURE DICK OF A 2nd ML IN A DRAMA THAT SHOULD BE MAINLY ABOUT THE STRUGGLES ABOUT A PERSON that lost his hearing?????? this should be the story about a guy who has to overcome a lot of things in order to reconcile with the people in his life and adjust to it, how traumatic it was for him and his family and for the person he likes and the friends he had to part with and now slowly has to regain their trust. this should be his story and he should be the focus? but he’s so pushed aside and his POV is so hardly relevant because we only get little bits of pieces as of right now. 

wasting 2 eps out of 10 on a shitty normal dude is not what i wanted, how he’s telling everyone how he’s SUFFERING and all that shit. how it’s about him??????? his obsession with Sou???????? sooooooooo creepy. i feel like he doesn’t even like tsumugi and just wanted to have her because sou had feelings for her and was starting to move away from him and focus on her because he was spending time with her instead of spending time with him........... repeatedly it’s shown that he’s really rude/insensitive to Sou and Tsumugi. ESPECIALLY TO SOU. and how creepy it was of him to wait for her to be vulnerable and get together with her even tho HE KNOWS SHE STILL LIKES SOU. and Tsumugi in ep 3 being like *I love the 2nd ml.* LIKE SURE. i can tell by how everything about her whole persona resolves around sou. the stuff/food/drinks/interests/music/work related things that she likes and enjoys go all back and are connected to sou. she really doesn’t have her own identity outside of Sou (which is sad but like the writers are not really good at their job). 

how all these different chars are always saying aloud how *good of a guy the 2nd ML is and that he never gets angry and takes care of  tsumigi” and all that type of BS???????? and then the contradictory actions of those statments about him show a whole different story. Like he’s repeatedly a rude asshole to sou and he’s looking down on Tsumigi and telling her what she should do. and she does it, but then he also gets upset about that??????? 

and people better not give me the “2nd MLdoes it out of selfless reasons” crap because NO THIS MF DOESN’T. this MF shows again and again what an insensitive, childish, possessive, rude person he is. his whole “good vibes” are BS. IT’S ABOUT HIM HIM HIM and about no one else.

sou doesn’t even care about the 2nd ML the way the 2nd ML cares about him because in ep2 (sou’s POV) made it clear that once he found out about his loss he did not think of the 2nd ML, but only about how it could affect tsumugi. that’s established. so them pushing that male friendship in such a weird way into our faces for 2 whole eps makes no sense. and they don’t even have topics to talk to that’s not about tsumugi?????? were they really bffs in HS because it doesn’t look like it to me. 

2nd ML is repeatedly harrassing/forcing sou into doing something he doesn’t want to do. he’s acting in a really insensitive way. 2nd ML doesn’t want to adjust to sou’s new situation and he showed that repeatedly so naturally sou shouldn’t have to deal with an ass like him, he has to deal with other stuff, he doesn’t need his ex bff to be such a jerk who’s saying shit like “nothing changed aside from you being deaf* LIKE HELLO???????????????? nothing changed????? NOTHING CHANGED????????????????🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪  

2nd ML treats tsumugi like shit too. the way he was like *let’s stay together, buy a house, you should do this so you feel better, do that too, you should try this, forcing her to do stuff she doesn’t want to do* AND THEN HAVING THE BALLS TO BE UPSET about it when she does do the thing he asked her to do????? he’s never asking her about what SHE WANTS? he didn’t even tell her about sou and his condition because he was the first to figure it out and was keeping it a secret and guess what? the minute she found out she told him. and the 2nd ml is upset about stuff that’s so redundant. because of his actions and words he’s also antagonising sou when it comes to his cricle of friends and with tsumugi’s brother. 

 i KNOW it’s a classic trope and all that but dating the girl that your bff dated before?????? sure sou told him he could date her and sou was a huge dick for that and yes there’s 2 to blame because tsumugi shouldn’t have picked the 2nd ml as her new bf but someone else but it’s soooooooooooooo creepy. big YIKES

the episodic arcs also don’t flow well anymore in ep3+4. 

tralking about tsumigi??????? girl was so OOC in ep3 it was embarassing. the way they clearly established her char/personality in the first 2 eps and all that and in ep3 tried to downplay her love/devotion for sou down to the point she also made really really insensitive statements to him. I get that she’s hurt but sou was clearly telling her that they shouldn’t meet anymore because it’s awkward and she’s all hurt/upset about him wanting to draw a line and boundaries and instead she behaved really childish like *no wait a minute i don’t love you i love the other guy i only see you as a simple friend so don’t assume shit*?????????😑😑😑😑😑😑?????? so why the fuck is she hanging on to him from the moment they met again????? why is shedoing the most??? also she’s also kinda demanding way too much all at once. she wants her current bf and her ex bf to be friends again even tho they are in such a messy situation??????? ep3+4 was such a turn off i don’t even ship her with sou anymore that much like they really fucked it up badly for me. for now I’m only still watching it for sou but the way i need 4 fucking hours to finish a 45min ep because of so much shit that’s in there. aside from sou i don’t even wanna gif shit like I’m so turned off by it all. 

this drama should have been about the leads and should have focused on them and everyone else should have been on the side and not taken center stage away from the leads. the spark is gone. nothing wrong about fmls being in a relationship but the way they executed this shit is just not it. 4 eps in and i don’t see them ending this in a satisfying way. should have put the fucking 2nd ML on that fucking poster big and center if it was about him. if ep 5 is as bad as ep3+4 I’m dropping this. so yes I’m really upset about ep3+4 and hope for the best but not really optimistic about it all. ep1+2 was sooooooooooooo beautiful and i loved it sooooooooooooooo much just for it to be like that. embarassing that i even made gifs and promoted it 

[serenadeonacanoe]

Honestly, I'd piss him off on purpose. (Namjoon x OFC)

Pairing: Namjoon x Original Female Character

Genre/Warnings: Smut, Angst, Fluff, too tired to beta

Tags: Artist!Namjoon, Yoongi and Tae are the best flatmates, Enemies to Lovers I guess... more like brats to making out in the storage unit, OFC is an idiot.

Summary:

"Wow. Is that that grumpy artist behind you? Jesus. He really looks like a bit of a dick. And you are right. He really is hot..." Oh no. Speakerphone. Namjoon was standing behind me and was staring at me. Then at my phone. He let out a little laugh, then raised his hand to wave at Tae and Yoongi outside who were now also staring at him as if frozen, before turning around in unison. As if that would help. As if he couldn't see them. Or better even... couldn't hear them.

[...]

Mister Darcy has nothing on Kim Namjoon - that new and upcoming artist you probably already heard of (You haven't? How dare you? At least have the decency to pretend you have!). He is cold, serious, and rather good at making other people believe he is a prick. Especially Elizabeth Bennet - uh... Charlotte - is about to lose it because of him. Maybe in a good way. Man, I'd literally piss him off on purpose.

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CHAPTER 1

Even the sound of my own nails rhythmically tapping on the top of the counter was annoying me. To be fair, it didn't need much today to blow my fuze that had never been particularly long in the first place. But after a week consisting of being belittled by old white men and endless hours of unpaid overtime I about had it. Welcome to the art world. You know well before you enter that the hours are horrible and the job market is more than frustrating, but you love art and you have good organisational skills, you are resilient, charming when it counts and tend to romanticize things even when you know you shouldn't. It's too late to turn around now.

"That is why I don't use an agenda or notebook. If something is important enough for me to attend I simply won't forget. I know you youngsters are all about the bullet journaling and expressing yourself by mapping out your life but it really is just another way to procrastinate instead of getting to actual work." For a second I considered throwing my damn notebook in the buyer's face, but that probably wouldn't have helped my CV and the new job I would have to look for starting tomorrow. At least I should have screamed at him a little. Mainly, that I didn't care, that I was on my period and my shitty shower in the shitty flat i shared had broken and no dry shampoo in the world had fixed my hair this morning and that god damn it, how the hell was I supposed to remember every phone number, every call my boss had to take, every art handling transport I had organized if I couldn't write it down somewhere. Instead, I smiled. Died a little on the inside and complimented him on the gift of his exceptional memory and asked whether he would like another cup of coffee.

"What a dick." Samantha murmured, more to herself than me, after the guy had finally left, which made me snort under my breath. She usually didn't say much but when she did it was usually pure gold. In the end, it didn't matter that he was. Didn't matter that everyone at the gallery thought the art he had bought from us over the last couple of months had neither been smart nor impressive purchases. Mainly expensive. And flashy.

"Doesn't matter now." I said in a sigh after a quick glance at the clock. It was Friday night and we were about to close. Since it was my birthday on Monday I had taken two days off, about the longest break I had had this year and I was looking forward to being the lazy slob for a few days I was maybe always meant to be. In silence we answered a few last emails, tidied up the desks and counters so that potential buyers that would come in over the weekend wouldn't have to suspect anyone was actually working here. - A white desk. A huge Imac on it. That was all they needed to see, folders and pens and apparently especially agendas to be hidden away in drawers.

At five to eight I threw on my coat and Samantha just gave me a tired smile. Probably happy for me, just exhausted. "Have fun then? Don't get too wasted?" "Oh..." I said with a huge smug grin on my lips. "You have no idea... gonna take a bottle of Moët with me from the bar and drink it in my bathtub after eating a huge pepperoni pizza by myself and dancing to only the finest of 90s Euro Trash." I couldn't help it, apparently, I felt it necessary to give Sam a little demonstration, waving my arms up and down while swaying my hips in a way that I'd probably would not have if it hadn't been for a bit with an audience of a single person. Or maybe two?

A quiet scoff behind me and I quickly turned around, slowly lowering my arms, Sam biting her lower lip at the sight of me standing there like an idiot in front of HIM of all people.

Men didn't have to be old to annoy me. Or white. Yes, those were the ones that pissed me off most usually, but no one had managed to do so as much as Kim Namjoon recently. And now he was standing there, looking me up and down and stopping at my hair. The crazy too-much-dry-shampoo-because-the-shower-broke-hair. "Nice." He just commented and then looked over at Sam. "I'd like to take a last look before Sunday's opening if that is okay?" I stood there, my shoulders dropping, completely ignored.

"Uhm, actually, my babysitter has to leave in about an hour and I will have to be home before that." Samantha replied and I was impressed by how calm she stayed. "Of course." Namjoon said and gave her a slight smile. "Anyone else still around? Chris maybe?" Of course Chris hadn't been in today. It was Friday and unless important guests had announced themselves the owner of the gallery wasn't around on Fridays... "I am afraid not. But maybe Charlotte has a few minutes?" Well. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I felt a little betrayed. "Wouldn't want to keep anyone from their important Moët-Pizza-Dance Party plans." Namjoon replied before I could say a word. His voice once more dropping to a hushed, deep disapproval and his hands buried in the pockets of his rather expensive looking coat. Silence for a few moments and then he just walked off towards the room his exhibition had been set up all week. Showing without a further word that I would have to stay anyways if he wanted it that way.

"Well thank you for pushing me under the bus like that. Really appreciate it." "I am so sorry. But I was serious, I can't lose this babysitter. She got Jamie to eat vegetables. VEGETABLES!" Samantha suddenly seemed in a rush, grabbing her jacket and purse and showering me in promises she would make it up to me. Even though we both knew that wouldn't happen and wasn't necessary. Suddenly having to stay longer was normal. I just hated that it had to be today. And because of him.

I heard the door close behind Sam and I stood there for a second before putting my bag down again. Usually, I would have followed the artist, asking if I could somehow help, but nahhh... my ego was bruised up enough now, especially remembering the little dance. I closed my eyes. Fucking hated the guy. Always had. Well, not quite. I had thought he was cool for about five minutes when he had come in the first time. We had heard about him for quite a few months before, I think I had even seen pictures of him at some point, but those were nothing compared to him in real life. He came in all cheekbones and sharp chin and an all grey outfit, quick pace, observant gaze. Incredibly hot. He had also completely ignored me.

That's how it had started - a bruised ego. He couldn't know that it was my weak spot. Having studied art and its management and now feeling like a better secretary at times, when my colleagues and I were doing all the behind the scenes work while Chris worked very little hours and ended up with all the money and recognition. I was aware this wasn't the only field of work where this was the case, but it still frustrated me... I had imagined my life in the last years of my 20s to be a bit more glamorous than living in a tiny apartment on the outskirts of the city... spending my Friday night waiting for some rude artist dude to leave so I could lock up.

But what I perhaps hated most about him... was that I admired him. - Purely for his art. Really. Even the fact that he kept acting as if I wasn't around every time he came in didn't mean I couldn't admit that. At least to myself. The stories behind his huge colleagues were clever and thought through, but even without context, the pure aesthetics were mesmerizing. It was the kind of art that touched something deep inside of you and standing in front of it I always had a hundred questions. Whenever he brought in a new piece I was the first one to sneak a peek in the back rooms before it was hung.

"I don't get why you have such a problem with him. He is just... quiet. I think he might even be shy... stop being so sensitive and just ask him out already." I had almost strangled Sam for that comment a couple of weeks back. Stop being so sensitive. What did that even mean? Comments like that made me want to cry and scream at the same time, which probably would have been perceived as even more sensitive, but when had insensitivity become something to strive for? I had only kept quiet because I liked Sam and I knew what she had tried to say. At least I thought so. That I might have given less of a shit if I hadn't been rather attracted to Namjoon. Even though I had never mentioned it, she just knew. She knew if I didn't care about something I didn't waste my time on it. But if something made me angry or upset there was usually more to it. I hated that she could read me that easily. But he was still a dick and I still wanted to go home.

He took his sweet time. After an hour I walked up to him, a little speech prepared in my head about how he could come back first thing tomorrow. But when he turned around he just raised a hand between us to keep me from interrupting and turned away again. I hadn't seen that he was on the phone. "No, it's nothing, just one of the gallery employees." I heard him say and okay... if I wasn't about to explode before I was now. I stood there for a minute, fuming, and then simply walked back to the office area, my hand shaking when I started turning off the gallery lights one by one. It wasn't as satisfying as I had hoped but still felt good. Two minutes later the only lights still on were the one above my head and the one in front of the door. I would at least give him a clear direction where to head, he seemed to need it.

When Namjoon appeared out of one of the dark corners he looked even more annoyed than usual. Looking my direction through squinting eyes and his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek. "Seriously?" he yelled my way and almost walked into one of the little flyer shelves. Wasn't the first time I had seen that happen to him though so maybe that had nothing to do with the light.

I felt oddly triumphant. By the time I had put on my coat and turned off the remaining lights, ready to finally lock up, Namjoon had almost found his way, standing in the open door, still on his phone. A little groan from my side when he didn't even notice that I was standing behind me went by unnoticed. Or simply ignored. But instead of the appropriate clearing of the throat or the maybe less polite squeezing past him, I just put my hands on his back and gently pushed him forward a bit, until his feet hit the pavement and he turned around. Dropping his hand with the phone in it, for a second he looked like he wanted to push back. Or trample me.

"Okay, what the hell is your problem, Charlotte?" His voice was hoarse. His eyes dark. God, he was hot. I hated him so much. "You." I simply replied and stared at him for a second, then turned around and locked the two locks on the door before stepping over to the alarm system. I couldn't help feeling smug because apparently, he knew my name. I imagined him staring at the back of my head because he was flustered, but couldn't be sure. All I knew was that when I turned around again a minute later he was still standing there, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his lips pressed together forming a straight line and watching me.

"Do you always act like that at work around people who could get you into trouble?" He was right, he could get me into trouble. But I was too fired up now, my heart racing. "Is that a threat?" "An observation." "Only around the ones I don't like." "Cool." "Great." "Enjoy the dance party. Sounds shit."

And with those words he had turned around, coat flying open in the wind, unfortunately making him look really cool as he walked away and I ABSOLUTELY HATED HIM. I kept my mouth shut and just walked off in the other direction, realizing minutes later that my car was parked the other way, but I kept walking for a while before I finally turned around. It took a while to calm down and only cuddling up to my cat on the couch to trash tv finally did the job. But by then I had realized something I wasn't sure I liked too much. Yeah, I thought he was a prick. And yeah I should have just played it cool. Would have been much smarted in many regards. But I also had somewhat enjoyed myself in the most fucked up way.

Seeing that stern look, that intense posture as he was towering over me... man, I'd literally piss him off on purpose.

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