#Like once we finished watching i just went on and on about how really south american her family felt

[wachi-delectrico]

Watching Knives Out for the first time with one of my english-speaking friends was fun because I got the extra enjoyment of being the only one out of the two to understand Marta's (and her family's) dialogue in spanish

[bigassmoonchild]

The Aftermath

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

Word Count: 2k

The first part does give context, but isn’t required for this read.

Summary: You knew the difficulty the process of being a mated Omega in the military. You understood how much you would lose, but you never thought about the difficulty in your normal life. Never thought about the panic you would have, or how much it would effect you and Ghost's personal relationship.

Content Tags: Hospitals, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, No use of Y/N, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha! Ghost

A/N: I was not expecting such a good response to Maple Syrup, and since y'all seemed to like it so much here's basically the next part. Let me know if you want anything specific, my asks should be open. <3 I'm adding a 'keep reading' link to make sure you can scroll on if you want.

Previous, Next | Headcannons, Masterlist

Everything felt wrong. Ghost wasn't injured, but he was being held overnight in the medbay. The Maple Syrup had run its course through him, but he could hear chatter echoing in the room. He could smell you, you weren't too far from him but he wasn't allowed to see you. Price had come in not too long after the doctors had checked him over and cleared him, arms crossed as he sat in the chair next to the bed Ghost was in.

"We'll need to talk, you know," was the only thing Price had said, leaning back and relaxing in the chair.

"Is the Doc okay?" Ghost asked, looking in the direction your scent was coming from. The sickly sweet smell of heat was becoming stale, but you were on lock and key just in case any Alpha soldiers tried to come in. Price looked in the same direction, giving a faint shrug.

"I'm going to be updated once she's steady enough for the doctors to leave her alone," Price said. "Gaz is on watch outside her room," Ghost nodded. Gaz was a Beta, so it would be fine for him to be that close. Ghost still didn't like it, he didn't know how his pack was, where everyone was, if everyone was safe.

It took a few hours, it was well past midnight before any movement came from the direction of your room. The curtains surrounding Ghosts bed was moved, the Doctor gesturing for Price to follow him. Ghost had tried to listen in, but it wasn't worth it. He was still in mild pain from the mission, the place where the tranq had stabbed him still throbbed every so often.

Price walked back in some time later, looking at Ghost with a sigh. That didn't make him feel good, panic started to flow through him, thoughts of you dying flashed in his mind for a few moments.

"She's gonna be fine," Price started. "They got her heat back under control, they're just waiting for it to finish cycling through her. Outside of that, she's fine," Price sat next to Ghost. "I can't ask you about what happened. I can only tell you what will happen," he looked away.

You woke up, head foggy and throbbing with a headache. You could see a form moving next to you, checking your vitals. You gave a soft groan, your neck throbbing alongside your core. Everything hurt, but you weren't able to tell if it was everything.

"You finally waking up?" The voice asked, and you could recognize it. "You've been out for a few days, you've even had Ghost trying to get in," she giggled a little. Amanda. That was her name, she was one of the nurses you'd been working with prior to the mission that went south.

At the mention of Ghost, you sat upright, vision spinning before righting itself.

"It was a really bad heat you were sent into, y'know. Took us a few hours to stabilize you, but you're doing good for yourself," she smiled, trying to lay you back down but you pushed her off of you.

"I need to talk to him," god even your throat hurt. She nodded slowly, sticking her head out of the door. You rubbed your head, headache now making you feel sick. It took a few moments, but you heard footsteps come in the room, a figure standing next to you. When you looked up, it was Price.

"There are some procedures we need to go through. I've already got some officers in, but we still need to talk about what happened," Price started, moving to sit in the chair near you. "Ghost has already spoken with them, so it'll be you, me and the officers. I think Laswell has flown in as well," you stared at Price.

With a few blinks, you looked down to think. Ghost had already spoken with the officers? You knew what the rules were like, and you knew that your career was now in his hands. It pissed you off, if you could really focus on feeling much outside of pain.

"The officers are trying to get him to make a decision on your career. I can't let you two talk about anything yet, the Adjutant Officers still need to figure things out before you'll be allowed near each other," Price looked away, your jaw tensing. You really had no rights anymore, did you?

It took another few days before you were released. The second you had clothes of your own to wear, you were gone off into your room.

Someone had been here. You could smell a stale scent, but you weren't able to place it. It was too distant to be able to decipher, but your room was exactly the same as it had been left before you were hospitalized. You didn't feel comfortable in your room, knowing someone had been here.

A knock on the door made you spin, nerves set tight. As you opened the door, a large figure came into view.

"Doc," Ghost started, before being yanked into your room and having the door slammed behind him. You turned on him, staring at him sharply. You pointed, opening your mouth before shutting it and groaning, running hands through your hair.

You kept trying to start talking before you stopped yourself, eventually kicking at the wall in irritation.

"What did you say to them?" You hissed, back still turned and facing the wall. You could hear him shift behind you, boots scuffing against the ground. You turned, storming up to him, chest to chest. "What the hell did you tell them? You gonna dismantle my career? Make me some fucking house-omega?" You were growling now, you could feel your muscles tensing.

When he didn't respond, you groaned, tossing your hands up in defeat and walking away from him. You turned, hand on your hip, waiting for a response.

"I don't want to take your career away," he whispered, finally. You barked a laugh, rubbing your wrist against your bitten gland. His hand reached out to grab you, but you moved away from him. "I don't want to make decisions for you," he added, voice growing more desperate.

You shook your head, pulling your hand away from your gland and shaking them out. Ghost reached out to you again, hand catching your shoulder before you shrugged him off.

"I don't know what to do," you whispered. "I'm terrified, because now I'm outed to so many people, and there's quite literally nothing I can do to save myself," you turned to look at Ghost.

He scoffed. "You think I'm going to ruin things for you? I've already told you, I don't want that kind of control over you," he looked away, crossing his arms. You could smell the distress on him.

"You have done shit to make me trust you!" Your voice raised before dropping, a hand running down your face. "I have zero control left, you know how many rights I have as a mated Omega?" He shook his head. "None," you glared at him.

Ghost glanced at you before looking away again. He shook his head, moving to leave before you blocked the door from him.

"You don't get to walk out when we're talking," you growled at him and he growled back.

"This isn't a conversation, this is you getting all pissy on me," he loomed over you, forcing you to take a step back. "I didn't want this to happen, I would have chosen any other way to save us, but we didn't get a choice, did we?" You looked away.

"Get out,"

He could smell the distress on you the second he spoke. Your scent left him spiraling, he was panicking. His Omega was distressed, and he was the cause. He wanted to fix it, correct the problem and make you happy again.

Ghost could do nothing when you repeated yourself.

"Get the hell out," you glared at him. Ghost opened his mouth to give you a retort, but you had turned away. He bit his tongue, turning to stare at the door.

"You know that's not what I meant," he whispered, opening the door and leaving.

Even after walking aimlessly for ten minutes, he could still smell your distress on your scent, the sour taste stuck on the back of his throat. This wasn't how he had intended to talk to you, he wanted to make a plan for when they asked him more questions regarding your career.

Ghost was pissed off, more so with himself than you, but he wanted to comfort you. Fix what he had said, take it back.

But he had a meeting to attend, and he needed to make sure he didn't say anything wrong.

You sat in the conference room, Price, Laswell and an Adjutant officer sitting across from you. This was the third time you'd gone over what had happened.

"So you say this 'Maple Syrup' is what caused Ghost to go into a feral rut?"

"Yes," you deadpanned, glaring through the Adjutant. "We've already been through all of this, there is literally nothing else that I haven't told you," the Adjutant hummed.

"We need to make sure everything is covered," he told you, looking at the paper he had been writing on for the past hour and a half.

You looked at Price, hoping he would help you in any way. He looked away, leaning further back into his seat.

"What about my career?" The room went silent, the Adjutant stopped reading, glancing over at Price who had finally looked at you. "I want to know what's happening," you whispered. The last few days had left you unsure of yourself. You wanted to confront Ghost, you wanted to apologize for snapping at him, you wanted to fix what you'd said.

None of them spoke, Laswell had opened her mouth to speak before closing it, taking a deep breath. Her fingers tapped on the table, looking at Price and the Adjutant.

She looked back at you. "You aren't allowed to make any decisions regarding that, you know," your head dropped back with a groan, wrist rubbing against your bitten gland roughly. You were terrified, you didn't know what the future was going to hold.

You had so little control and it was getting worse. You stood abruptly, going to walk out the door before Price spoke.

"Would you like to speak with Ghost?" You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. With people around, you wouldn't snap on him, but you also didn't want to see him since his last remarks. You really needed to know if you still worked here, or if he was going to force you to become a house-omega.

You nodded, turning around and sitting back down while staring Price down as he made a phone-call. A few moments later, Ghost walked in and sat beside you, but you still couldn't look at him. It was silent for a few minutes, everyone looking at each other, waiting for the first to speak.

"You still have a job here," Ghost spoke up. "I didn't let them remove you, but they won't allow you on missions anymore," he added the last part quietly. You nodded.

You could hear Price and Laswell ushering the Adjutant Officer out of the room, the door closing with a click behind them. Neither you nor Ghost talked for a few minutes, you could smell a certain level of stress on him.

"Thank you," you whispered, glancing quickly at him. He was staring at you, eyes watching your every twitch and shudder. "I'm... sorry, for the other day," you fiddled with your fingers. "I didn't mean to snap at you."

Ghost shook his head, hesitating before grabbing your hand, pulling it close to him and in turn tugging you towards him. You finally turned to look at him, and his eyes visibly softened.

He looked down, then back up to you. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said what I did. Not in the way I did," he tugged you even closer to him, nuzzling into your gland. "I don't regret having you as my mate now, but if I could've changed what I did, you wouldn't be stuck with me making decisions for you now," you leaned in to him, pressing your face into his chest.

It relaxed you, his scent, and allowed you to think much clearer.

"I'm just so scared,"

Next

[sp-by-april]

Kenny x fem!reader where Kenny has this MAJOR breeding kink and eventually gets to see the results (either a baby bump or an actual baby? Idk) And the only reason this kink of his got so bad was because reader is like a mother figure for Karen and he thinks: “damn. I’m gonna make her a mom”

Bro I’m literally so obsessed with this idea 🫠🤤

Thank you, Beautiful!! I really hope that made sense 🩷

Not only did it make sense, but everybody was super into it because it won the poll! (Against Kyle brat taming no less!)

Kenny x F!Reader

[Kenny McCormick Master List] [South Park Master Lists]

Kenny and I had been together for awhile. I thought I knew everything there was to know about him.

I was wrong.

As our relationship went on and we got more serious, I got to meet his family. I heard a lot of stories about them and was kind of scared, but it wasn’t bad at all. He was really close with his little sister and I always thought It was the cutest thing. Eventually, I started to teach her about things like make up, shaving your legs, how to cook simple meals. Stuff you wanna know as a tween, you know?

He used to make comments about how good I was with her, or how I’d be a good mom someday, and I never thought anything of it. 

Then one night we were in my bed. He was on top and had just squeezed inside of me for the first time that night. I’d already had a few orgasms and I was euphoric after getting some of the best head of my life.

His hips kept shifting in long, deep strokes as his hot breath fell on my ear, “I wanna come inside you,” 

I was surprised. Kenny was always fine wearing a condom and more than happy to pull out and finish on my chest.

I thought about it and I figured... It’s just once, right? 

It sounded pretty fun, and I’m always up for a good time. Plus, isn't that supposed to be good for emotional bonds or something? Besides Kenny was always so hot when he was really turned on like that, and he looked all revved up, like he was already on the edge of combusting just bringing it up. I’m not sure I could’ve turned him down if I even wanted to.

“...Okay,” I pulled him into a quick kiss, “Come inside me,”

“Yeah? Fuck, I wanna breed you,” He started to speed up and his breathing grew more ragged.

I writhed underneath him, unable to stifle my moans as he started to thrust into me in earnest.

“You were made for this,” Kenny grabbed my hand and pinned it by my head as our fingers intertwined, “You were made for me to fill up,”

I couldn’t believe how turned on I was. I never guessed that this would be something either of us were into, but God, him saying how much he wanted it really made me want it too. It wasn’t even the fact he said it, it was the conviction and tone that told me he really meant it.

“You’re gonna look so fucking gorgeous,” His hand tightened around mine while the other found my breast and caressed it into a firm squeeze, “Your tits are gonna swell up,” 

He watched me carefully as he thrust into me hard and my entire body twitched. 

“You really want this, don’t you?” He kissed my neck and then ran his tongue up to my ear, “Every time I tell you how badly I want to breed you, I can feel you get tighter and tighter,”

I was so overwhelmed that could barely talk, so I nodded until I found my voice, “Do it, Kenny,”

“Yeah? Can you feel how full I am for you?” He drove himself as deep as my body would let him and held himself there, “I’ll flood you with cum until you overflow,”

I could feel it. Little did he know, I felt his heavy balls with each thrust. He throbbed inside me before Kenny went back to moving his hips into me with more and more force.

I couldn’t take any more. My back arched towards the sky and I suddenly saw every star in the Milky Way. A loud, quivering moan spilled out of my lips. The warm, silky walls inside my core fastened up around him, and I gripped his cock tight, proving how eager I was and how badly I wanted him to make good on his promise to me.

He more than fulfilled it.

Kenny locked his mouth onto mine and pushed a loud, shuddering groan into me. He squeezed my hand so tight I almost yelped and his hips bucked into me so hard I winced. He came so intensely I could feel every strong pulse as he filled me with spurt after spurt of his hot, sticky seed. He went on so long, I thought I’d be dripping for days.

He panted and rested his forehead against mine, “You good?”

“Yeah,” I couldn’t help but smile, “I’m good,”

He squeezed my hand again with sigh, “I was worried I’d freak you out,”

I was so overwhelmed with all the fun sex endorphins that a thought so sincere I’d wanted to keep it secret slipped out of me, “You’d be a great dad, Kenny,”

“Fuck, we’re doing this again,” A huge grin slid over his face, “I’m definitely gonna make you a mom tonight,”

After that, he didn’t breeding me again until about a year later.

I was trying to fall back asleep. He climbed in bed next to me and kissed my cheek.

He snuggled up close and wrapped his arm around me. I loved when Kenny held me, it was always a warm feeling full of comfort and safety.

“She asleep?” I asked softly.

“Yeah, she’s down again,” He nuzzled his face against my neck, “So, I was thinking...”

[mikachacha]

𝚁𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚜 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝙹𝚁! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

Synopsis: You're holding a class for your korean fans for the third time since you came to South Korea along with your team, Jam Republic. You tried to keep it low-key but the other teams decided to visit during one of your classes.

Warnings: suggestive content, Bada and reader being flirty h0es 🤧🤧

(A/N: because @1luvkarina requested it, im gonna do it 🤧🤧 jk it just happened that the pointer landed to her request)

🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸

"You gotta be fucking kidding me right now.." you couldn't believe your eyes at what you're seeing. Almost every participant of Street Woman Fighter has filed in your class that made you feel a bit nervous because out of all classes, they really had to watch you teach this one where you're going for a sexual dance.

"Is she gonna dance in heels?" Lusher asked as she saw you preparing. She noticed you wearing high heels and Bada looked as well. You're definitely wearing heels while teaching.

"Damn.. She looks hot in that one.." they could hear other teams comment as the class finally started. You were great, you made sure that everyone was enjoying themselves and making sure that none was left behind. You'd slow down if necessary or repeat the steps which Bada found quite endearing. Some of the girls decided to join your class but Bada just kept watching, entranced at your movements.

When it was finally time to perform the song, it felt like Bada could just pass away there on the spot. You looked so sexy and confident and just everything. Bada could list off everything great about you right there and then but she absolutely died when you looked straight at her when the line, “do I make you horny, baby” came in. Bada's face went completely red as you openly teased her during your classes.

"Bada-unnie looks like a tomato right now.." Kyma commented as she saw their leader going red in the face while watching you dance. The other girls momentarily stopped to look at Bada then at you who's been teasing Bada the whole time, now understanding why the taller girl is blushing.

Bada could swear you'll be the death of her someday. It was clear that both of you are into each other but for the sake of the competition, you held off. But then seeing her in your class today made you want to tease her because your love language is teasing the people you like even if it bites you in the ass afterwards.

"May we request Lee Bada to join Y/N at the front?" Latrice called out after you just finished dancing and you looked at her then your team who were all sporting big, mischievous grin while looking at you. The other teams were laughing at the seemingly betrayal of your team towards you while team Bebe had to drag their leader up front.

"Ya! I thought we were competitors but why are you teaming up against us?" Bada playfully complained and the room was filled with laughter. You looked at Bada and the others. Your confidence has deflated a lot because your crush is right beside you. You're okay with her being a few feet away but right beside you and about to dance with you? You just wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there.

"Guys I seriously can't do this.. With the infamous Lee Bada? You guys are seriously wishing for me to pass out.." you said dramatically and Bada just shook her head in pure amusement.

"Dance or we're leaking the group chat!" It was Emma who yelled and you gasped, looking at your teammate before telling your sound guy to start playing the song once more. You don't want to get your ass exposed to yes, you're gonna dance with Bada right in front of everyone.

Everyone was left mesmerized at how perfect you and Bada looked while dancing together. Her movements were a bit cooler but yours is sultry. There was cheering and whistling but that didn't really matter to you. To be this close and dancing with Bada, your dreams are coming true. You really admire her, well maybe more on the romantic side rather than on the dancing side. You and Bada flirted a lot while dancing, especially on the most sensual parts, she added her own moves while you improvised some. Since everyone's supporting your gay crush on Bada, might as well go all the way.

When the song ended, you planted a kiss on the side of her lips that made her blush so much that she had to cover her face in an attempt to calm down. The others clapped and cheered for you and Bada before you pulled her to the sides so your students can have their time to shine as well as the other girls from the competition who thoroughly enjoyed your choreography.

"I'll wait for you at the parking lot later. You and me, we're going out on a date." Bada whispered to you and you looked at her, eyes wide in disbelief. Did Bada just ask you out on a date??

"What? I'm not sure if I heard it correctly." you asked and she just chuckled, moving closer to you and wrapping an arm around your waist.

"I said I'm taking you out on a date. We have so much to discuss." she repeated and you just nodded your head, cheeks red as it finally registered in your mind that Bada is really taking you out after your class ends.

[bangchansgirlsblog]

My Biggest Regret

Part six.

**

"What’s going on you two?" She asked the two siblings standing infront of her. She was terrified at what she just hard. She was so disappointed in Hannah.

"Y/n I tried talking to him but his being so difficult about it," Hannah wiped the tears off her cheeks. She was crying.

"Look, both of you need to talk it out and we aren't going back in there until you do. You're not going to ruin this day for everyone else okay? I don't know what happened but please just sort it out. For me,"

Y/n's arms were crossed and she had a disappointed look on her face. The guilt ate up Hannah because she knew how much Y/n didn't like fights. She didn't like conflicts and she didn't like problems. She wanted everyone to be okay with one another. So Hannah accepted it and listened to Chan.

"Hannah, I know I missed a lot. I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry that I did but I couldn't come back and you knew that, no matter how much I tried to, management wouldn't allow it. Don't be mad at me. Please."

"I'm only letting this go because Y/n asked me to, so it's fine. I hope you enjoy your days in Australia."

Hannah shrugged and walked past Y/n giving her an apologetic look. She had forgiven Chan and that's what everyone wanted right?

"Hannah-" Chan called out for the younger but she was already back inside the house leaving Y/n and Chan standing outside speechless.

"Just give her time, she hasn't really soaked in everything," she tried comforting Chan.

"Yeah I guess," they both stood in silence. Waiting for one of them to speak up.

"I geuss I'll go back in-"

"No stay with me? Let's talk," Chan held her arm before she could go back inside the house. She agreed and sat down on the benches that were facing the sandy beach.

"So..How have you been?" He asked trying to start a conversation.

"Good, good and you?"

"I'm good,” he replied and looked over at her. Her skin was glowing under the moonlight and her eyes twinkled like the stars. He loved that.

“How are you? Like how has your medication and stuff been? Are you still ill?”

“Yes I am Chan,” she smiled and looked over at him. Both their eyes connect making her feel butterflies in her tummy, “I’ve been taking my medication, the tumor decreased and I’m probably going to need surgery,”

“Surgery?” He asked confused and worried.

“Yeah, sooner or later I was going to have it anyway so. It’s minimal though. So not a big deal,” she shrugged and continued to analyze his pretty face.

He made sure to note that down. He made sure to remind himself so that he could be there for her when she went in and out of surgery. He would have to do some convincing though.

“Oh okay, um..”

“Tell me all about stray Kids Channie! Tell me about South Korea! Do you like it over there? Is it nice? What do you guys do on a daily basis? Oh My God! Is it true that there is a library as big as the Dubai mall?” She gasped, her eyes went wide as she got more and more excited waiting for Chan to tell her all about his adventures and so he did.

He started talking about everything from the beginning till the end. He Ofcourse left out the parts of drugs and girls but he knew if he did tell her all about it she would end up heartbroken.

She listened. She paid close attention to everything. She made sure to ask questions and for a second it felt like they were back to their younger selves. Chan missed it. He missed this. He missed her. The conversation itself wanted to make Chan move back to Australia, back to his family. He felt so stupid for forgetting about her. He (for once) felt like a real human being and not a robot under watch.

“Chan?” She called after they had finished their conversation about South Korea and his new life.

“Yes Aya?” He replied.

“Did you forget about me?” Her eyes were now soft. A pang of guilt hit his chest so hard he had to take a deep breath. He didn’t want to lie anymore, he wanted to come clean so,

“No Ofcourse I didn’t, I waited for you,” Chan you liar, what were you thinking? The words rolled off his lips with a bitter taste. He couldn’t help but lie to her, she looked so innocent.

“Really Chan? I waited for you too! I haven’t fallen for anyone ever since you left,” her smile was big as she spoke. She was happy. But Chan on the other hand was questioning his existence. Did she really not fall in love with anyone when he was away? Surely it can’t be true it had been four years.

“Y/n, I’m sorry I got so busy and stopped checking in. I was scared you hated to me. I was scared that we weren’t close anymore so you didn’t need me. I hope you aren’t angry at me like Hannah,” his eyes glistened.

“Oh no, no, no,” she held his hands in hers hoping to give him some comfort, “I’m not angry, at first I was but I can never be angry at you Chan. I was the only that encouraged you to go remember? So don’t you ever think I hated you or I was angry at you,”

“But you were sick and-“

“Yes I was sick but I wasn’t dying,” Y/n you’re lying to him! “Plus look at how much you’ve grown! You’re a kpop idol! Not many people can say that they have successful idol bestfriends,” she joked causing a smile to crip up Chan’s face again.

“I love you,” he said casually.

“I love you too Channie,” she replied.

He leaned in slowly finding his face close to hers. She leaned in too, finding his face close to hers. Inches away. But Y/n was nervous. This would be her first kiss ever. She wanted to be perfect but she didn’t know how to make it perfect.

“Chan I-“

“Can I?” He softly asked. His hand laid on cheek. Her lips were so plump and pink. Chan craved it. Craved her. He was going to get close to her one way or another.

They both closed their eyes. Chan almost closing in the gap when,

“Guys dinners ready!” A voice called for both of them causing them to jump away from each-other.

They both looked over at the door to find Hyunjin standing there.

Proud of himself for ruining the moment. He was going to get Y/n because whatever Hyunjin wanted he would get even if it meant bringing Chan down.

**

Hey *insert a stack of money in my hands* , will you be my gf? 🤭🤭🤭

Don’t forget to reblog if you want to😋

-🩷

[mckiwi]

So I met David Tennant this weekend…

Story time below the cut:

Thursday 7/11: Driving Down

I live in south GA so I just drove down to Miami, FL for the convention. Left about 11:30am and got to Miami at 9pm. Checked into the hotel and ordered food from DoorDash. Practically passed out cause I was so tired from that drive.

Friday 7/12: Day Before The Convention

Friday didn’t offer much at first. I was meeting a friend down there and their flight didn’t land in Miami until that night. In the meanwhile I went to Publix to get some drinks and snacks for the room and got lunch from Subway. We went down to the boardwalk area for a bit once she landed and went downtown to get something to eat. It was a bit expensive but good, what else would you expect. Saw where Georgia posted on her story showing she and David were also downtown. Promptly freaked out and got excited at knowing he was within a few miles radius of us. (Didn’t ever see him obviously). Turns out the free public parking wasn’t free and got a ticket for $30… oops. Went back to the hotel and played Battleship and went to bed.

Saturday 7/13: Day of the Convention

Got an Uber there cause I’m not dealing with that traffic again and arrived at like 9am. Waited in line until 10am for the show floor to open. We walked around a bit cause our photo op wasn’t scheduled until 11:10. I got a TARDIS and 221B keychain as well as a Supercon t-shirt. We got in line and got our picture between like 11:20-11:30ish I think? It’s a blur tbh, I saw him and lost all track of time. It was really quick so I couldn’t really get to talk to him. It was just a “hey” “hi” 📸 “have a good one.” 👋🏻 It was a long wait in the line but it passed by pretty quickly cause I got to talk to a few other people in line. This was honestly one of the best parts of the convention besides David himself because I got to meet such like-minded people. You could strike up a conversation with practically anyone and have tons of common interests. My friend and I actually kinda made friends with this other girl that was there by herself so the three of us stuck together the rest of the day. His panel started at 12:30, so we were in line by 11:50 and sat by 12:25. His panel was really fun. It’s really interesting watching his thought process happen live cause it’s so chaotic. I love him and his failed analogies.

David: “I’m going to stop now. I can smell the frosting from here.”

They had a Q&A in the second half of the panel. The new girl and I actually got in line to do the Q&A, but if you know anything about David you know he’s gonna take his time to fully answer even the simplest of questions, so we got through maybe 6-7 questions within 30 minutes. One of those questions was actually from his own kids, so that was funny. I’m not sure if it was Olive or Wilfred that asked, they were both there.

Kid: “who’s your favorite kid?”

David: “who’s your favorite parent?”

Kid: “well Georgia just recorded for a book, so-”

After the panel, the three of us battled the autograph line. We had prepaid for our autograph, so we got in one line from like 12:45-1:45 to register our QR code or whatever and get a little blue ticket. Then we had to wait in another line from like 2:30-5 to get the autograph. Was worth it though. My friend got a book signed and she made a little drawing for him, which he accepted and had her give it to one of his kids to hold onto. I had him sign my Crowley cover of Good Omens (plan to one day have Michael Sheen sign the Aziraphale cover). I honestly can’t remember exactly how our conversation went but it was something along the lines of

David: “Hi, [my name]!”

Me: “Hey!”

David: “So you want me to just sign right here?” (Indicates top half of the inside cover)

Me: “Yea, that’s fine right there!” (Gives a second for him to sign) “I also made this for you if you’d like. It’s coasters of you and your family’s names in Gallifrayan.”

David: (finishes signing and looks up) “oh, that’s neat! That’s all of us in Gallifrayan?”

Me: “Yea, this is Wilfred’s on top I think.”

David: “Cool! Give this to them (gestures to his kids sitting beside him) so they can investigate it.”

I handed the coaster set to Olive and she did actually start investigating it which I find funny and was showing it to Wilfred. My friend also had a small interaction with them and gave them some bracelets she made. They actually put them on so that was nice. I saw them looking at the coasters still as I was walking away so I hope they like them. (Pictures are of the coasters and some examples of what they looked like. Did all 7 of their names as well as “Tennant” to make it an even 8).

After the autograph, we pretty much just wrapped things up and got ready to leave. We said bye to the new girl and exchanged contact info. Got an Uber back and DoorDashed dinner. Was in bed by 10.

Sunday 7/14: Drive Back Home

What it says on the tin. My friend had to get up at like 3am for her flight so we had to call it a night pretty early Saturday and I left the hotel about 11:30am Sunday morning. Got home about 7pm.

Overall a 10/10 experience. Even with the large crowds, no one was fighting or anything and were generally very nice. Next time there’s a convention somewhat close to me I’m totally ready to go.

[richardlawson]

The End

After a few years away from that particular couch, I started seeing a new therapist at the end of last year. It had been long enough, I sagely determined, after I was felled by a series of really nasty panic attacks—one happened while I was doing a Q&A on stage with some filmmakers. They didn't notice, nor did the audience, nor (most importantly) the publicists. But it was happening. Me contemplating running off stage, into the Soho afternoon. It was a terrible feeling, and eventually feeling terrible starts to be a drag, so I found, after a fair amount of searching, someone new.

He is in his late 50s and has a kind, open comportment. He's much more giving and lean-in-and-nod than my last therapist, a sort of prim and watchful gay guy who retired to Florida. I like this new gay guy, I think. Or, I am warming to him. At first, I thought his platitudes and constant quoting of various people were corny. But I have resisted such sentiment for so long, and lack of sentiment hasn't cured me, so maybe I should try the earnest stuff. He has me meditating for one minute a day. The panic attacks went away.

For a little while, anyway. They've been creeping back, when I least expect them, and when I most do. I am afraid of what I am afraid of, I hate what I hate, I feel increasingly indifferent to what I love. Winter hardens care. Do I like movies anymore? Do I like a play, seen on some chilly Saturday afternoon? Maybe it's just seasonal. Or it's media malaise in a time of such austerity. They're trying to lay off the best people while the worst people watch, safe as houses. They're trying to take the whole thing apart and replace it with nothing. I have worked in my business for 16 years, well over a third of my life, and for the first time it now feels truly dire and terminal and like I need to start making other plans for what to do with the rest of my time here in the waking, working world.

Something I talk about a lot with my therapist is inertia—I use the word constantly. Why can't I just, why can't I just, why can't I just. I know something's in me, latent under my lazy skin, but it never makes its way to the surface. At least not yet.

Which causes panic, this stasis. I am scared of the drugs that might help, and am resistant to other concrete life changes that might make this better. (I like a glass of wine too much; I'm a fan of my vape.) I have tried avoiding things, I have tried not avoiding things.

I guess it's not circumstance, really. I have panic attacks when I'm home at night, Andrew asleep in the other room, me watching some murder show or YouTube video (same thing) and suddenly a feeling hits me, the conviction that a blood clot or some other lurking thing is making its way up my body and that this is my sorry, lonely little nighttime end. Here it is, the moment when I'm carried off, when I disappear, when I slip away into nothing.

My parents just finished a cruise, a lifelong wish fulfilled, in South America, hooking around Cape Horn and then exploring the fjords and inlets of Chile. All the reports were good. They had the best time. I had worried about my mom itching for her work email, about my dad being newly 90 years old and maybe feeling exhausted by all the activity. But it seems they managed well. They saw Patagonian cities, they saw mountains rising out of the sea, they saw the shy, retreating edges of glaciers, so quiet and demure in their dying. My mom sent us pictures and I thought most about the glaciers, those last cracking murmurs of a time before. When I was in Alaska for a wedding, years ago now, we went to a park of some kind and the visitor's center that was once built over a glacier then stood cantilevered over dry land. The ice had crept much farther up the mountain, winking goodbye.

How awful. And yet, in the depths of my hypocrisy, I relish an unseasonably warm day. Whatever lifts me out of winter, I guess. Whatever can drag me out of the feeling that everything is indeed going to ruin—a career, a life, a liver, a future. My best friend moved out of my neighborhood recently, which is sad. But it also affords us the opportunity to explore new territory, to find backyard bars with good deals where we can huddle in forgiving late-winter winds and make uneasy escape plans, where we consider what parachutes could ever be made of.

It's not always enough, of course. I too often have nights, far too late, when I go pacing around the living room, circling the coffee table in a weird sort of marching step in my underwear, shaking my hands to get the dread to go away. My new therapist has urged me to find what centers me. To think of all that is known and steady.

I try to gather myself and remember the people I have, arrayed across the planet. Andrew, in restless sleep down the hall. My sister in her Los Angeles canyon, surrounded by trees. I walk the room, knees high and somehow defiant, chest straining with worry. And I see my parents, on a boat at the tip of the world, dreaming of lost things.

[aettuddae]

funky — chapter 76.

➵ synopsis: aeri takes her members to a music festival to introduce them to her newly made friend, jeon minki, the front person of a popular rock band in south korea. after seeing minki, karina, aespa's leader, becomes completely starstruck with the rockstar, and decides to find a way to make them fall in love with her, even though minki is the most clueless person in the universe.

masterlist | prev | next

[written chapter]

[warning]: suggestive (kind of)

the band came down from the stage, as they congratulated each other for finishing their performance without a hitch. they took off all the equipment they had to use to perform, and their staff directed them back to the dressing room where they were located.

everyone spread out around the place, lounging on the couches and opening different drinks while they waited, as they knew their guests would be arriving soon.

minki was looking in the mirror and fixing their appearance when a knock sounded on the door, but before anyone could open it, somi energetically burst into the room as she shouted.

"here are my favorite rockstars!" she exclaimed, rushing even further in and running towards her older sibling.

minki welcomed the blonde into their arms warmly and they both began jumping around in circles while holding each other.

"my sibling is super cool, my sibling is super cool!" the girl crooned accompanying the action.

meanwhile the aespa members had come in behind jeon and headed off to interact with the rest of the guys. karina approached gyuvin and mentioned how much she liked his performance, while the others walked over to yunjin, with whom they had become somewhat close. then they walked around greeting each other and making small talk.

once somi finished complimenting her sibling, she went with their bandmates, and the k-pop group members approached them.

"you look so cool when you're on stage that i even forgot you're just a lol player with questionable hygiene." spoke aeri as she stretched out her arms to welcome minki into them.

"i think that's the cutest thing anyone has ever said to me in my life." they pretended they were going to cry as they reciprocated their friend's touch.

"i'm adorable, aren't i?" the japanese girl pulled away slightly to look them in the face and then take their face in her hands. "you're so lucky to have me."

"get off." interrupted minjeong pushing giselle away. "aw, my baby is such a great artist." she exaggerated her sentimentality and abruptly hugged jeon, who hugged her back.

"am i?" they smiled tight-lipped, like a child who wants to be congratulated when they did something right.

"of course you are." reaffirmed the girl patting their back to solidify the meaning of her words.

winter broke away from minki, but left her hand on their waist and stood right next to them, resting her weight on the side of their body, while they had their arm around her shoulders.

yizhuo walked over and looked at the vocalist from head to toe with a serious expression.

"are we going to pretend you didn't know i was in the room while you and unnie...?"

"yes, we will." nodded minki quickly interrupting her.

"okay." agreed the younger one. "so..." she extended her hand towards them, to which they responded by taking it and shaking it lightly. "i'm a big fan of your music."

"really?" wondered the other distrustfully.

"really." confirmed the girl. "but i don't like you."

"oh..."

"goodbye." she said before they could say anything else, and walked over to where yunjin was sitting to strike up a conversation with her.

they watched with a confused expression, not understanding anything about the interaction they had just had, as the maknae walked away from them without saying anything, or looking back. they only turned their gaze back when they heard a soft "hey," at which minjeong looked around nervously and proceeded to awkwardly and aggressively distance herself from the singer and grab aeri by the wrist to lead her away from there.

both people waited in silence for the members to move away.

"hey." copied minki once they were alone with jimin.

"hey." repeated jimin.

the girl took a step close to the vocalist and put her hand in the air near their chest, waiting for them to take it, which they did, causing them to greet each other like some dudes.

"it was a great show." she commented, speaking in her deep, disinterested voice. "thanks for inviting me." she was trying not to make eye contact.

"i'm glad you liked it." smiled the older one shyly, finding jimin's attempt to look nonchalant adorable.

"i liked the song." she added, not letting go of them. "you know, the one you wrote about me." she let out a scoff, proud to be able to claim that the piece talked about her.

"then i'm proud of myself, you liked the song." they guided jimin's hand subtly to their chest and held it as it rested there. "you have nothing more to say about it?" they questioned expectantly, their eyes not taking off from the blackhaired.

"...the sun is in your eyes, may its light guide me..." she quoted, almost in a whisper, the lyrics of the song she had heard earlier. "you're too corny." she sentenced, but contrary to her comment, a crimson red bloomed on her cheeks, that gave away how she truly felt.

"and you kinda love it." refuted the songwriter.

"no comments." she said and thought silently for a moment.

she laid her eyes finally on the older's, finally noticing the adoration that lay in them as they looked at her, and how happy they seemed, and her own grimace of happiness couldn't be pressed any longer. jimin moved closer to minki's body and rested her head on their intertwined hands that still rested on jeon's chest, a little with the intention of hiding her emotions and a little as a show of affection when her defenses were still high enough to not dare to give them a hug.

"thanks for the song." they both laughed timidly. "thanks for letting me know i make you feel good."

"you don't have to thank me." they dismissed. "i have all these beautiful feelings for you, it wasn't fair to keep them from you."

"sure." agreed karina, gave a long sigh and pulled away from minki, letting go of their hand. "i'm hungry." she changed the subject suddenly.

"oh..." jeon muttered at the change of topic. "yeah, sure, we should go enjoy what's left of the festival." they announced to their bandmates and friends. "and i'll buy you whatever you want to eat there." they informed karina.

"come on!" exclaimed minghao getting up from the sofa.

"oh wait, it's so cold outside." complained jimin towards the band leader, while pouting.

"you're adorable!" shouted minki pointing at her, elated at the girl's cuteness, causing the others, including her, to laugh. "don't worry, pretty one, i have my jacket here somewhere." they assured and began to look around the room, finding nothing.

"you left it in youngho's dressing room." mentioned gyuvin, remembering that before going on stage they were hanging out with a friend band. "you can look for it on our way out, it's on the way."

"you're right, let's go."

when they reached the room where the band they were friends with was, they noticed that there was no one inside, but the light was still on and things were still there. they assumed that the members had gone to enjoy the event.

"is it okay if you guys go inside to get the jacket and then catch up with us?" proposed gyuvin as he continued walking towards the exit.

"yeah, sure, no problem." agreed minki, slightly confused as to why they couldn't wait for them, but asked no questions.

minki and jimin entered the place and began to examine it, they took a moment looking through the things and finally found what they were looking for resting on a chair among several other objects and coats.

the vocalist took it and passed it to the girl so she could get warm, and once she had it on, they both headed for the door. but they didn't make it out of the place, as they were surprised with the image of gyuvin and giselle appearing quickly in their fields of vision and disappearing in a second behind the door that closed thunderously before their eyes. they could hear a click and then the laughter of their friends.

both leaders froze, taking in what their bandmates had just done, and the older one stupidly reached over and jiggled the door handle to confirm that they had indeed been locked in the room.

in someone else's dressing room, by the way.

"guys?" called karina from inside. "don't you think we're too grown to be doing this?" she tried to appeal to the other two.

"no!" they shrieked in unison.

"you will stay there until you accept that you love each other." communicated gyuvin.

"or until the other band comes back and finds you two locked in there." thought giselle aloud.

"guys?" called again, this time minki, but got no answers. they were already gone.

"do you think they have board games in here?" analyzed the aespa member surrendered to the situation, starting to search the place again.

"sure, jimin, they must play monopoly while they wait to play their gig." replied minki wryly, taking a can of beer from a small cooler there.

she looked at them incredulously at their answer and clicked her tongue as a sign of annoyance, they both connected glances and laughed at the joke.

"so what are we supposed to do?"

"i don't know, i don't think those two planned this very meticulously." they shrugged and opened the can.

"wow, you must be the coolest person i could get locked up with." she feigned excitement.

"sorry." they smiled sheepishly.

they turned to the fridge and pulled out another beer, opening it as they walked over to jimin and offering it to her once in front of her.

"how was your day? your week?" they started once she accepted the drink. "are you still rehearsing? when do you have to leave for tour again? i don't want you to go." they cocked their head to the side, looking at her with sadness in their eyes, like a puppy that doesn't want its owner to leave the house.

"it's not like while i'm here we see each other that much, it's not a big difference." realized the girl and took a swig from the can.

"hey," whined minki. "if you're miles away from me i can't run to take care of you when you're sick." they noted.

"i have professional people who do that." karina was trying to act cool even though inside she was completely melted by how adorable the jeon sibling was acting that night.

"but you want me to do it." they stated.

"no one said that." her eyes widened in surprise at the older's confidence.

"i read your mind." they joked and winked at her, getting an unbelieving laugh in return.

minki drank from their beer and at that jimin noticed that one of the buttons on their shirt was detached. at first she ignored it since she didn't want to have that type of contact with them, but it gave her a bit of anxiety knowing that there was something out of place. finally she decided to button the shirt up.

"you know you could have told me to button it myself, right?" said them playfully.

"does it make you nervous to have me this close?" she confuted in the same tone.

"that's usually you."

for some reason, that sounded like a challenge.

yu moved her hands away from the fabric once it was buttoned, but did not move away from the band member. she looked up until they were making eye contact.

"how? am i imagining this? aren't i close right now?" she said in a defiant tone.

"you could be closer." concluded jeon staying relaxed, somehow.

jimin didn't even hear the last words that came out of minki's mouth, she was too mesmerized drawing their features with her eyes. it was enough for her to see their lips move once more to decide that she wanted to feel them once and for all.

she put her hands on their waist as a support and drew their body to hers, taking advantage of the lack of space between them to rest her lips against the vocalist's for a moment. it was just that, a peck, just enough to get the doubts out of her mind about how it would feel when she did it, but too little not to leave her wanting more once she already discovered the sensation.

she broke away, with her eyes closed and took a breath, trying to calm her body down with the adrenaline that invaded it during that impulse, but she couldn't get it to leave.

minki was taken by surprise by the act, they never expected the youngest would be the one to take such a step first, and they didn't understand why it was so short. they raised their arms and grabbed the girl by the cheeks, ready to start another kiss, but she pulled away.

she went around them and headed for the door, not because she wanted to leave the place, as she couldn't, but to get space and control her instincts.

"jimin..." the singer called out.

"no, minki." she stopped them. "nothing happened."

"of course something happened, you kissed me!" they claimed. "and it felt nice, i think we both felt nice." they took hurried steps towards her. "i don't understand why you hold back like this."

"because you acted like a jerk to me!" she exclaimed frustrated. "and i understand that when you say it won't happen again you mean it, but, god, how can i be sure?"

"you have to trust me." they stretched their arms in the air, indicating defeat, as if trying to tell her with their body that this was the only option left. "i accepted that i have to let my guard down and trust that you won't hurt me, and you will have to do the same."

the girl remained silent, standing in place without committing any movement, being perfectly aware that what she did next would decide the future of that knot of emotions, misunderstandings and unfortunate events that was her connection with this human being.

"you have my word, jimin." they broke the static silence that flooded the room. "i am yours." assured minki.

"you are not mine." she shook her head slightly.

"then make me."

seeing their sad, tired eyes and their arms still open as if they were waiting for her to take her place between them, she realized that there was nothing in that knot that would dull the desire she had for them to choose each other, to know each other, to go on dates together, to fall madly in love. there was no single tragic event that had more value than the idea of that person in front of her kissing her, hugging her, taking her home and writing songs about her.

at last, she had told them once before, minki had had her time since that festival when they first saw them, and she wasn't ready to declare it wasted time.

jimin walked hurriedly to where minki stood and threw her body against theirs, holding onto their neck and being kept standing by their arms wrapped around her waist. after searching frantically for months, their lips finally found in a fierce, but satisfying collision.

they matched each other perfectly, and if they didn't, then they were going to be forced together.

her hands found their locks and lost themselves between them, sliding and tugging simultaneously, drawing them closer and closer no matter how much space there was no longer, as if she was trying to make them merge.

their lips would get trapped between each other's teeth, their tongues went back and forth caressing delicately, minki's hands were exploring the girl's back, waist and nape as if they were having the possibility of touching diamonds with their own palms.

so strong was the force with which they were getting out their passion, desire and desperation from within that their bodies were being pushed around the room, as if they were performing a dance.

at some point, for some reason, they ended up next to the couch that was on the dressing room, with which jeon collided —or maybe jimin pushed them—, causing them to sit on it, and for jimin to end up falling on their lap, breaking the connection of their mouths for just a moment, as they seemed completely unable to detach now that they had tasted each other.

not bothered much by the new position they were in, the idol resumed her playing with the other's hair, while the singer's fingers moved up the girl's thighs, higher and higher. she moved her kisses to the older's cheek and brought them down to their jaw, then lowered them to their neck. she moved her hands away from the opposite body and, with jeon's help, started to take off the jacket, which was the reason why they had ended up this way.

"it was just a joke, you guys, sorry for-DAMN IT! get off each other, you damn leeches!" shrieked gyuvin entering the dressing room, followed by aeri.

both of them suddenly distanced from each other, getting up from the couch with speed and arranging their misaligned looks, while pretending nothing had happened.

"you weren't even here for that long!" proclaimed aeri, impressed.

"get out, get out." the bassist pointed outside, feigning anger and standing against the door frame, giving the two of them room to pass.

"we were just..." jimin wanted to say.

"yes, yes, exploring each other's oral cavities." finished the sentence the japanese woman.

minki and jimin walked out of the dressing room with their heads down, embarrassed to have been discovered by their friends, who followed behind them, celebrating without being seen. the vocalist brought the coat they were supposed to fetch, they approached the blackhaired's side and covered her by resting the garment on her shoulders. she smiled broadly, tucking her arms into the sleeves.

"why would they lock us in together if they were going to get us out so quickly?" she grumbled.

"they must have thought we weren't going to do anything but argue." they surmised.

"i mean, we did have a fight..." they looked at her bewildered. "you bit me pretty hard, i think i have a wound." she declared.

"you silly..." they scoffed. "yes? did i hurt you? let me see, let me see if you're telling the truth."

the composer took a few short hops, positioning themselves right in front of the younger girl, preventing her from continuing to walk, and causing her to bump into them, while laughing at her playful attitude. they hugged her around the waist and leaned over her, trying to kiss her.

"no! no! not in front of those weirdos." she receded and turned around to point to her friends coming up behind.

aeri and gyuvin were jumping with excitement, even walking as they danced, happy that their plan worked, unaware that they were being judged.

"they outsmarted us." admitted the older jeon.

"thankfully." shrugged jimin. "they made things faster, who knows what year i would've given you a chance if they didn't intervene." she acknowledged as she looked at a non-existent watch on her wrist, as if measuring time.

"oh, so, do i have a chance?" they rhetorically consulted.

"you do." she approved. "but you should know that yizhuo has a very bad temper and if you hurt me i don't take responsibility for how she might react." she raised her hands on either side of her head in innocence.

"well, i can say exactly the same thing about somi." they challenged.

the elder snuggled up to the girl as they walked and caught her hand between their own, to which she responded by intertwining their fingers. a squeak from aeri was heard behind, but they didn't even turn to look at her.

[0ur-diabolikal-rapture]

the past month or so has been really strange for me in terms of my current fixation/interest/idk the word for with toby stephens

In 2010 I studied jane eyre as part of my english class and my teacher made us watch the 2006 bbc adaptation with him and ruth wilson in it, and although I didn’t read the book cover to cover, I really loved the adaptation

In 2013 I went to see him perform in private lives in london. at the time I was really into the tv show the hour, and seeing anna chancellor being cast really made me want to see the show, and recognising toby from the promo material made me even more excited about going

after the show my friend at the time and I waited at stage door to try and meet anna, and we were lucky enough to meet the entire cast as it was literally just me and my friend waiting there. all of them were really great but toby in particular went out of his way to interact with us and was really sweet I’ll never forget it. the show itself was so funny and was definitely a highlight of the theatre trips I’d been on that year, and I’d even got clippings of interviews and other promo bits that anna and toby had done during that time too

and then in 2014, I’d always been obsessed with period dramas but I’d managed to watch north and south (2004) for the first time, which honestly changed my life it’s still one of my favourite things ever. and as a collector I’d obviously wanted to have it on dvd, so I opened up amazon and added it to my basket and I’m not sure why, maybe it was offered as a recommendation? or having watched a period drama it made me think of others I’d enjoyed? but I bought the dvd for jane eyre as well.

and since then, even through the many times I’d culled my dvd collection I always managed to keep those two even though I didn’t watch them, because I knew how much I’d enjoyed them in the past I couldn’t part with them

since around 2021 I’ve watched north and south maybe once a year maybe twice but I was still reluctant to rewatch jane eyre in case it wasn’t as good as I remember but finally in 2024, after a little period drama resurgence I rewatched it. and I couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks. I wanted to rewatch it immediately, I’d completely forgotten how good it was all those years ago and I was so glad I’d chosen to watch it again

about a month ago now, I’d seen a edit on my twitter of toby for black sails, I didn’t even know the show existed I had no idea of the context or anything but I saw it and was so intrigued by it that I went out the same day and bought the entire boxset, I had no job and I really didn’t have the money to purchase it but I just had a good feeling about it. (for context: I don’t have wifi at my place so I buy dvds to watch things) but after a couple of episodes I was so happy that I got them and I knew it would be my new favourite show ever and I was obviously obsessed with flint

since finishing black sails I bought a few more dvds of toby’s work and I’m having such a good time and I genuinely don’t know why I didn’t do this after seeing private lives because that’s my usual pattern after seeing things that I really enjoyed. I really admire his craft and there’s just something about him I can’t really describe but I’m just a little fascinated at the moment

it’s just been a strange but interesting time for me having loved an actor’s work for such a long time, having met him such a long time ago and only now really exploring his work properly. I’m obviously having the best time but it feels so.. bittersweet? illogical? like I’ve missed out on a lot? life is strange…

but anyway I watched the tenant of wildfell hall today and baby toby holding a puppy healed me

[cheesus-doodles]

Hey Cheesus!! Just wanted to say I loved the South post, I absolutely adore seeing brazilian culture getting more recognition, and Y/N making feijoada???? A dream come true for real (also, maybe she would make him brigadeiros as well? It's soooo good and very easy to make, everyone loves it!)

I'd like to know what are your thoughts on how the boys would react if Y/N started making more brazilian foods for them as well, to settle their jealousy!

(Also, about the translation, "meu pequeno anjo" is correct! But, if you want to, you could also use "anjinho", which is a more informal and affectionate way of saying it! "Meu pequeno anjo" can be a mouthfull, so "anjinho" is usually what we use around here!)

Anonymous asked: As a brazilian this is my time to shine!!! us brazilians love to talk about our country, so I just know south would make Coxinha for you and show you some sertanejo songs <3 btw instead of "pequeno anjo" is better if u use "anjinho", both are right it's just that the second way makes more sense :)

asdhasdaj hello from the other side of the world! its mindblowing to me that we all somehow ended up here even though physically we're so far away! glad to here yall liked that fic, here's a little follow-up, it's been a long time coming :) (and thank you for the language tips!) as usual its 5.30am here so i will edit this tomorrow ;-;

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Recommended Reading: A Time Long Past; A Friend In Me Chapter 1

Masterlist

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The Dawn that A New Day Brings

They were a little more misshapen than he had initially thought South had to admit, looking back down at the enormous bento box filled with neat rows of coxinha that once more saw the light of day as you ever so gently pried open the lid with small, fragile hands, the too-large box balanced carefully on your tiny lap. The comforting snack he remembered chowing down on back in a simpler time had turned out a lot flatter than what he had originally envisioned and what they really should be - looking much like burger patties instead of its supposed signature teardrop shape. But you didn't seem to even notice the odd, uneven shapes or the slightly burnt surfaces, your stomach letting out an impatient grumble as you excitedly reached out for one, only to pause right before your fingers made contact, turning those adorable doe eyes back up at him. “Are these really for me?”

The giant of a man could only laugh at your eagerness, reaching up to gingerly grind his knuckles into your hair, which earned him a quick swat of your hand and a giggled ‘stop that!’. How someone as kind, as innocent as you could exist alongside monsters, murderers like him was a question South could only wonder about, though no one would find him complaining - you never did like when he referred to himself as anything but your friend. “If you can finish them all anjinho, then yes.”

You smacked him again, this time on his arm, your bright laughter bursting forth from soft lips. “Cheeky! You know what I meant.”

It was one of those rare afternoons that had been marked as empty on your schedule for one reason or another that South couldn’t care about, and the weather despite it being the middle of summer was surprisingly pleasant - there had been a light drizzle earlier in the afternoon that threatened the lunch he had been eagerly awaiting for the past two weeks, though it had cleared up into a cloudless sky. From just round the corner came floating the sounds of chattering and games, though the rest of your schoolmates knew well to keep clear of the secluded, silent backyard no matter how much the extra space would be welcomed; even before the arrival of your latest pet delinquent or so the rumors went, the school yard had always been the territory of gangs. 

But all he could focus on in the moment was you: watching as you struggled to twist your body with the relatively enormous lunch box still balanced on your lap, his hand stabilizing the box as you did, your tongue sticking out the corner of your mouth in concentration as you attempted to grab your school bag from beside him where it was resting on the bench. How he could easily snap your back in two with one hand, crush your delicate wrist as you reached over him - but it was only you who had ever gotten away with so much, with your songbird voice that twinkled like bells when you laughed and lifted his mood. His little angel indeed. 

Finally managing to haul what looked like a bento box out, the lid to your box was carefully open. The intoxicating smell of seafood and coconut instantly burst forth into the open air, the sheer tantalizing aroma catching even South off guard as you revealed the familiar sight of yellow paste topped with shrimp and contrasted with the bright green of fresh cilantro. “Here! I made vatapá the other day for my friends, so I kept some of the paste for you!”

As if on cue, a loud growl called out from the delinquent’s stomach, as it always did when faced with your cooking, though your friend barely flinched in the face of your suppressed giggles - if it had been anyone else, they would have already found themselves at the business end of his fist. But for you, all that happened was your muffled laughter quickly escalating into full-blown laughter when his finger found your sides in precise jabs, his lip quirking up in amusement. “Is it that funny?”

“A-ah, stop that!” Was all you managed to breathe out between your guffaws. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“That’s what I thought,” South huffed, though there wasn’t a hint of malice in his voice, finally letting up for you to catch your breaths.

“You’re a big meanie, you know that?” But you still offered him the box anyway, which he gladly accepted, quickly digging in without much encouragement. He couldn’t remember feeling this happy since his childhood days; you filled that hole in his heart that fighting could never. 

So why couldn’t he keep you all to himself? Why did he let you get away? And most importantly, why did he let those Tokyo Manji bastards keep taking you away from him?

Lunch passed in relative peace, South wolfing down every bit of shrimp coconut skew and fragrant rice while you giggled at the vigor, gingerly blowing and nibbling on coxinha, the shade of the old tree keeping the sun out of yours and his eyes. And as your lunch break came into a close much quicker than either of you expected, boxes were reluctantly packed away, with the last of the coxinha that you had begged out of polished off by him, the gears in his head still turning as they had for the past week or two, staring at you unblinkingly with those harsh yellow eyes. “Thanks for the wonderful lunch,” you beamed up at him adorably, unafraid, uncaring maybe of his intense look, the brown paper bag you carried everywhere already clutched between your two hands as you made to turn away. “It was good to see you again Minami.”

This was it. This was the last chance he would have in a long time, if not ever - catching someone like you without laying a finger on your tender flesh wouldn’t be difficult, not in the slightest. You were naive, gullible to a fault. An innocent creature by any stretch, but alas your beloved friends that followed you everywhere were not. “Before you go,” he started, and you paused, cocking your head in confusion.

“What’s up?” Ah, those doe eyes, almost shimmering in the sunlight; he couldn’t wait till they were only his to enjoy.

“Nothing much anjinho, but if you have some time I want to show you my new bike.” There was no lie in that, he really did just get his hands on one; you were the sole individual he never felt comfortable lying to. And watching your face light up, it seemed that was the right decision as you quickly agreed without a second thought; taking his offered hand as he gently led you out towards the front of your school.

‎

Baji sighed again, bronze eyes scanning the flood of students flowing back and dispersing into the various classrooms from where he was leaned against outside yours. It was five minutes till your class started, and you still had yet to return from lunch. A highly unusual occurrence in itself, given you were hardly, if ever, late for class. Not with the emphasis you had on your studies or grades or whatever it was he didn’t.

He had been against this from the start, would be what he reminded the rest when this little experiment goes horribly wrong. Leaving you even one lunch free to do as you please without their supervision; it was supposed to be a simple test if you could obey their explicit instructions to you. Stay away from South Terano.

You knew how your Toman friends felt - you knew how Baji felt - about you talking to people outside of them, let alone your engrossment with someone as dangerous and unhinged as South. They were right: you couldn’t be trusted with your own safety. Mikey and Kazutora had been pissed to hell and back that day, and it wasn’t as if Baji could disagree with their conclusion of killing the delinquent and be done with it despite Draken, Mitsuya and Pah’s vehement opposition. He didn’t want to lose you or a slightest bit of your affection. They should be the only ones in your life, with all that you mean to them and they to you, keeping you safe and protected.

Letting out a second sigh, the black-haired boy’s sharp ears didn’t fail to miss what seemed like interesting mumbles drifting out from the crowd, dangerously narrowed eyes quickly zeroing in on one unlucky boy - he recognised this one. A classmate of yours that Baji vaguely remembered kicking the shit out for once passing a tad too close to your desk for comfort. “Hey.” A quick grab and yank, and the unfortunate soul was face-to-face with a ticked-off and visibly irate Toman’s First Division Captain. “Care to repeat what you were saying?” It wasn’t a question.

But in a surprising twist, your classmate didn’t instantly break down into a mess like so many had before, far from it, instead looking Baji up and down with a critical eye. Seemingly having come to a decision, as if making up his mind that dealing with Toman no matter how painful was somehow the lesser of two evils. And out spilled the repeated rumor: you had been seen walking off campus hand in hand with an impossibly tall guy with tattoos that ran down his face, and you hadn’t been seen since.

South. You failed.

And then his phone went off. Mitsuya’s spotted you, and it wasn’t within the school compound.

Letting out a strong curse that had the whistleblower jumping slightly, Baji raced down the empty school corridor.

‎

“SOUTH!”

It was supposed to be a pleasant afternoon; they could vaguely remember the weatherman's earlier forecast of cloudy skies and cool temperatures from a few days' earlier that you had been extremely excited for. Even the dawn that the new day had brought, which they knew you had watched fondly from your small kitchen window like you always did, nursing a hot cup of tea, had been nothing but promising; the pastel pink sky that emerged out of the dark night together with the streaks of morning sun bursting over the horizon never failed to make their day. Yet here they were.

At the roar of the familiar voice, you stopped in your tracks just a block away from the gates to your school, turning around to look with pinched eyebrows. “Mikey?”

And down the road they came, your six Toman friends screeching to a halt just mere meters away from where you were, your hand still delicately gripped within a treacherous larger hand. “Get away from him,” the Toman President ordered, those haunting abyss eyes fixed on South’s yellow ones, white-knuckled fists clenched tightly by his sides, his face black with rage as Draken stepped forward, as if to gesture for you to return to them despite no further movements from him. An insult, a spit to their faces was what this was - the absolute gull of this scum to make his way into the heart of Toman’s territory to try and steal you away from them. And you playing along like it meant nothing; this sheer audacity couldn’t go unpunished. The world fell silent, still, waiting with bated breath.

You glanced hesitantly between your friends, the confusion and uncertainty clear in those doe eyes. What was going, it was clear you weren’t sure - certainly you knew your friends had always been protective of you, but this? This was a bit extreme, was it not? Yet before you could reply, you were instantly pushed behind a much larger figure, South stepping in front of you to grin down at the group in front of him. “Looking for me?”

“Minami’s just trying to-”

“This is kidnapping,” Baji gritted out through his teeth, and you flinched when those sharpened bronze eyes flickered over to you, though that didn’t stop the thoughts from racing through your head. Kidnapping? “You’re taking her against her will.”

You tried once more to explain. “No Baji, he’s trying to-”

“She’s coming with me freely,” South interrupted, the smirk on his face only seeming to grow as curses were instantly spat out at him. He knew what you meant to them, of course he did, having to watch day in and day out from a distance as you lavished your love on ‘your boys’, as you affectionately termed them. No more - your attention was now his.

But there was no doubt this Tokyo Manji Gang would let you go without a fight.

‎

Turning to look at you straight for the first time, Mikey narrowed his eyes, and you gulped. “Come. Here.” You really were in deep trouble this time.

“Okay Mikey,” you whispered, releasing your hand from South’s, taking a step towards the awaiting arms of Draken. You had hoped they wouldn’t be too angry if you kept just the one friend, but unfortunately that didn’t seem to be the case. But unlike the gentle hold that the giant of a delinquent had gripped your hand just seconds ago, you instead found one that refused to release you, South only tightening his grip more and more as you tried in vain to pull away. You whirled around to look back at him. “Minami, let go!”

“Tell them you’re coming with me.” You were going to be his. South never wanted to hurt you in any way, his little anjinho - the last thing he wanted was for you to be scared of him. But if it took intimidating you a little for you to never leave his side, then it was the way things would be. “Tell them.”

“I have to - ow!” His clutch only grew stronger, and you cried out. “Minami, you’re hurting me!”

In that heartbeat, the tension snapped, a blur of black flying to smash straight into one thick tattooed arm lifted straight in time, a flash of blond your only warning to duck as another smudge of yellow and black quickly followed with a punch aimed straight for South’s head.

Releasing you to protect himself, you were instantly yanked out of the way by two pairs of arms, sending you crashing backwards into a strong chest, your unhurt hand instinctively lifting to cradle your quickly bruising wrist, yellow and green marks in the shape of a hand imprinted into your soft skin. “Does it hurt?” Pah mumbled, one careful finger brushing against the area only to hastily retreat when you winced in response. “You need to go to the doctor.”

But your attention was somewhere else, your gaze fixed on your three friends brawling unrestrained. Baji was fast, arm snapping out to hold you back as you attempted a break from Draken. “No, stop it! Don’t fight!”

“You need a doctor,” the black-haired boy tried to convince you, but you were lost to the fight, the sight of Kazutora and Mikey and South out with the intention to kill too much for you to bear.

“Stop!” You cried out. It was all your fault, this mess you dragged everyone into. “Stop it!”

But all that the two Toman founders could hear was the pounding of unbridled jealousy and anger. This lesser animal, this unforgotten bastard trash; he had the audacity to lay a finger on you. Death. All would be resolved in blood. This was a death sentence.

‎

A moment of distraction, and you slipped from Draken. 

The punches and kicks were coming, too fast, too strong to pull back at such a short notice as you came skidding between Mikey and South. Both fists slammed straight into you at full strength, wide eyes meeting yours for a single breath.

The world breathed. A loud bang, the sound of flesh hitting flesh as you disappeared from their view, and all they could hear was a painful wheeze followed by a thud. Your unmoving body kneeling over from where you had slammed against the crusted wall of an apartment block, falling face down onto the concrete. 

And then chaos, the wail of your name raising the hair on the back of their necks as Kazutora rushed over to you, followed by a stampede of the other Toman’s founders hurtling over to you. What had they done? No, it couldn’t be them - they would never hurt you. What had South done? 

‎

“You- you hit her,” Mikey swallowed, the rage behind those empty eyes that diminished for a moment instantly reigniting, burning stronger than ever. “You hit her.”

“It was you,” South retorted, a similar anger that lit his own pair meeting Mikey’s. “I would never.” But his words fell on deaf ears, and the temperature seemed to drop. A blink, and the behemoth of a delinquent had just barely enough time to catch the roundhouse kick blasted at his neck, though the impact was enough to push him back. 

“I’ll kill you. I’ll fucking kill you.” A threat - no, a promise - whispered, the Tokyo Manji Gang’s president’s shadow seeming to grow with every repeat. 

“She’s still breathing,” Mitsuya let out a shaky breath, those few words somehow breaking through the cacophony of cries as Kazutora had to be wrestled away from shaking you any further, Baji already on the phone with what seemed like emergency services.

Draken turned his gaze to Mikey. "Snap out of it, Mikey! She's unconscious!" This wasn’t the time for a fight, especially not with the piercing screech of police sirens in the near distance. You needed all of them if you were going to pull through.

“Get her to the hospital,” came the order, the other not once turning his back on the visibly enraged South to spare you a glance as both lowered into fighting stances. “I’m finishing this.”

[alicewritingstories]

Whumptober Prompt Fills Part 9: Breath

~Also on AO3~

No. 15: “I don’t need you to help me I can handle things myself.” | Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.”

No. 24: “I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule.” | Goodbye Note | Neglect | “I thought they were with you.”

No. 31: “I thought that I was getting better.” | Emptiness | Setbacks | “Take it easy.”

Warning: Brief mention of alcohol use, chronic cardiac and respiratory issues, internalized ableism

Central character(s): Sky, Twilight

As the stars were coming out and the last echoes of the Picori Festival's fireworks display were fading away, the Chain started to drift back together at their chosen campsite in the forest. Tomorrow they would travel on to visit Four's grandfather - Four had gone on ahead with his father to give him some time with his family before his other family descended on them - but tonight would be spent under the stars as usual.

The chatter among the little group was lively as they compared their experiences. Warriors was flushed and slightly giggly, relaxed after the entire bottle of something alcoholic that he'd drunk during the fireworks. Wind, meanwhile, couldn't stop showing off the beautifully-crafted knife he'd won, tripping over his words as he admired it and related his triumph in a quoits-throwing contest.

Twilight heard Legend drop the good-natured observation in Warriors' ear that the young hero really shouldn't have been allowed to join contests alongside ordinary children, but he agreed as Warriors said sleepily that it was good to see Wind act like a child for once.

"What did you do with Sky, Twilight?" asked Wild suddenly, looking up from where he was laying out ingredients for dinner.

Twilight looked at him in confusion. "Me?" he asked and looked over at Time, who was also looking confused.

"I thought Sky was with you, Wild," said Time. "I was about to ask you the same question."

Twilight blinked. "I thought he was with you," he said. "Didn't you go looking for souvenirs for Malon and Sun?"

Time shook his head. "I thought he was going around the food stands with Wild."

"I didn't see him after we separated," said Wild, sitting back on his heels. "I thought he went to watch the horse races with Twilight."

Out of all their Hyrules, Four's was one of the safest, but that didn't mean a missing hero was something to be ignored. Time eased back to his feet with a soft groan and started putting his just-removed armor back on, saying, "He's probably fine, but let's go and check. Wind, Twilight, and Legend, check north, south, and east respectively; I'll take the west. Return in an hour even if you haven't found anything. Hyrule and Wild, stay here and finish setting up camp."

"Shall I check the elixir supply?" asked Wild seriously.

"I hope we won't need healing, but it's worth knowing. Likewise, Warriors, I hope we won't need you to be sober." Time chuckled as Warriors shot him an unfocussed look that he probably intended to be irritated. The remark lightened the anxiety that had been starting to thread through the air, but didn't take it away entirely and as Twilight set out into the darkening forest, heading for the south side of the town, he could feel it twisting somewhere in his gut. He was sure Sky hadn't followed him when he set out through the busy streets, following the sound of hoofbeats and cheering. He really thought he'd heard the other hylian agreeing when Time had said he was going to find a gift for Malon.

What if he'd been wrong and something had happened to Sky when he was separated from the group? How long had he been missing?

Twilight tried to push down the worry. If one of them was going to disappear for a few hours, this was one of the safer places for it to happen. Most likely they'd find that Sky had simply lost track of time or forgotten the rendezvous.

It wasn't like him to have forgotten, but it wasn't impossible in all the noise and excitement of the festival.

And was it more or less likely than that something had happened? There had been no sign of so much as a keese anywhere near the town, but it wouldn't be the first time a member of the Chain, taken unawares, had fallen victim to hylian enemies of one of his brothers. Four had as many enemies as any of them with the exception of Wild and Warriors, who had significantly more.

Twilight gritted his teeth. A crowded festival… someone would have noticed the fight Sky would have put up if attacked.

He was sure he'd gone alone to look at the horses.

He was sure Sky hadn't come with him.

He was sure that if something had happened it hadn't happened right behind him.

His thoughts were interrupted as he caught a familiar smell on the breeze and saw something white gleaming in the forest ahead. Perfume and a white sailcloth. With a gasp of relief, he broke into a jog, calling, "Sky!" as he saw the figure of his brother in the dim light, sitting on a tree stump, leaning his elbows on his knees.

Sky looked up and waved as Twilight heard the wheeze on his breath and realized how fast he was breathing.

"Sky," he said more seriously, crouching beside him. "Are you OK?"

Sky nodded, his hand to his chest, the wheeze more pronounced as he sat upright. "Fine. Sorry, I… know I'm… late."

He couldn't even make it through a sentence without losing breath.

"Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm fine. This happens… sometimes. The damp… makes it worse." Sky forced a grin. "And I made… the mistake… of dancing."

"I didn't know you danced," said Twilight.

"I love dancing." Sky coughed and wheezed. "Unfortunately. Used to be… easier."

Twilight nodded. He wasn't sure what was going on, but said, "Do you need anything?"

"Just to rest." Sky shook his head. Twilight thought he looked pale, but as he propped himself on his knees again his breath seemed to come a little easier.

"OK. It'll be a bit before anyone really worries, so take it easy."

Sky nodded, laying a hand on his chest and wincing. "I thought… I was handling… it. It was fun… to dance again. Even… alone."

"Hey, take it easy. You don't have to make excuses to me and you've not got the breath for much talking, so just say what you have to."

Sky nodded.

Twilight patted his shoulder. "Is this… a new problem?"

"Since… my adventure. Well… mostly."

"OK, tell me the rest later." But he couldn't help asking, "Is this why you can't run as fast or far as the rest of us?"

Sky nodded.

"Why don't you tell anyone that?"

"I'd rather be… made fun of… than treated… like I'm broken."

Twilight started to argue, but remembered he was supposed to be calming Sky down and letting him catch his breath.

Slowly, Sky's breathing steadied and quietened. He sat up and pressed two fingers to the pulse point in his own throat, then nodded.

"OK, I'm all right now," he said. "Let's go."

Still, when Twilight offered him an arm he accepted it to get up.

"You can tell them you found me asleep somewhere," he said with a small smile as they started walking.

"I'll tell them no such thing," said Twilight. "Nobody acts like Time is broken. Nobody's going to think less of you because sometimes you can't breathe right."

Sky shook his head. "I can manage. There's a reason you've not seen me that bad before. But if everyone knows my lungs are always heavy and my heart doesn't beat properly any more…"

"We already know you can't run as far or as fast. What do you think will change from knowing why?"

Sky scowled at the ground.

"If you really want, we can still tease you about being slow and sleepy, but -"

Sky jutted his chin proudly. "But you'll keep a better eye on me to make sure I'm OK? Keep a wing over me in case I fall?"

"Just like with Four when it's cold."

That hit home. Sky sighed, bowing his head. Twilight heard the last of the wheeze.

He put an arm around his shoulders. "Listen, you don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to, but I'm not lying for you and I think you should tell the truth. Nobody thinks less of you for having scars from your adventure, any more than they do of Wild or… or any of us. It doesn't matter that yours aren't on the outside. Nobody will think you're broken or useless or anything else."

Sky was silent for a long moment, then he said, "I'll think about it."

Twilight hugged him gently and they walked on.

[courtingchaos]

A Terrible Interlude

Summary: You meet Eddie’s dad. No one is happy about this.

Warnings: Shitty parents!

A/N: This is a little snippet I jotted down while finishing up part five of Rent. Just a little call back and some character exploration. There’s a tonal shift here that I’m not real sure about, but I think I like the direction it went in. This isn’t really proofread at all so apologies but this isn’t anything I was going to polish up anyways. Also it’s only mentioned once, but Evelyn is referring to Eddie’s mom. AlsoAlso you have the name Candice in this. It’s not going to show up again anytime soon I just needed a name.

“Edward.” His voice is the same low scratch it’s always been. Deep timber stuck between smoke stained lungs, an adolescence of coal mining on the backend. It’s funny that cough stuck around, considering he hadn’t stayed in that job very long. Stealing things was easier.

“Daniel.” Eddie replies with a tip of his chin. Likes the way his dad’s shoulders scrunch up at his full name.

“Boy, don’t start that shit-“ He’s cut off when Wayne puts a hand on his arm.

“Danny.” Just a warning from an older brother. Wayne looks down the steps at Eddie, concern in the small smile he shoots him. “Ed, your dad was just telling me about how he got here.” He watched the two of you walk up the road, laughter ringing out. Watched Eddie hitch you higher on his back. Wayne’s heart sinks knowing he’s about to ruin his nephews week.

“By bus I assume, isn’t that how they always drop you off?” Eddie’s defiant and still, hasn’t realized you’ve slid off his back yet. “Did they drop you off or did you just steal another car?”

Wayne moves first, cuts his brother off and leaves him to angrily suck down his cigarette on the top step. He gets close to Eddie, grabs his shoulder to pull him in. Doesn’t like that you’re here to witness this bullshit, it only ever goes south.

“Listen son,” he says this quiet. Danny never liked it when Wayne called his boy that. “He surprised both of us. Make nice for the afternoon and he’ll be gone by dinner time. He’s got a place to stay over in Elwood so he ain’t hanging around.” He gives Eddie a good shake to try to get him to look at him. Wayne sees a flash of rage in those brown eyes and for a moment Evelyn is staring at him. He straightens up, hand still clamped on Eddie’s shoulder and looks past him to you.

“Listen Dee, why don’t you head on home? Your mother’s got the night off right? Might like to see you for supper.”

You nod a bunch at Wayne, thankful for him noticing your dilema. You only get three steps backward before Daniel speaks up.

“Well you don’t need to send his friend away. Jesus Christ Wayne, I’m not gonna bite.”

“Danny, don’t turn this into a thing. She’s gotta go home. Probably got homework, like this one does.” He pulls Eddie forward a step, feels like he’s pulling an empty box along with him. “They spend enough time together, we can make introductions later.” They make for the steps and you try to high tail it but Daniel’s voice rings out between the trailers.

“Dee? What’s that short for?”

Now, your mother had taught you manners. How to be respectful to adults and authority though it rarely stuck. This man was neither in your eyes, however you can feel the backslide of nerves kicking in. Grown men asking questions never boded well.

“Candice, sir.”

His mouth pulls down in contemplation, slaps a hand on the metal railing and turns to go inside Wayne’s trailer.

There’s quiet before Wayne lets out a deep sigh. “Ed?”

Eddie moves quick then. Snatches up his book bag you dropped by his feet when you tried to leave. “I don’t fucking care.” He beelines for the front door and Wayne turns to you.

“Listen, I’ll call your mama when we get settled. Have her come get you.” You nod again.

“This’ll be fine.” He lies.

- - - -

Borderlines are clearly drawn through the small living room and Wayne is sadly stuck in the middle of it all. Him and Daniel have been talking for the tenses half hour you’ve ever witnessed. They make it seem like the conversation is easy but you don’t think you’ve ever seen Wayne sit so straight in his recliner. Eddie has posted himself against the countertop outside of the kitchen, just out of your reach where you’re seated at the tiny table. Any fidget you made had Eddie looking over his shoulder at you, only to snap his head back when his dad reclined on the sofa.

This is a whole side of Eddie you’ve never seen. Both him and Wayne hold the tension like a line between them, but where Wayne lets out a quiet laugh every now and then, Eddie just doubles down on his glare. Daniel makes it a point to ignore his kid for a bit.

It’s wild how much Eddie resembles his dad. The same nose sloping into full lips; same angled jaw and slightly too big ears. The same crossed arms and wide shoulders. They’re even the same height almost.

But that’s where that ends.

Eddie must have his mom’s eyes. Her long curls. Her smile. Because Daniel’s blue eyes are flinty and cold blue. His hair short and lighter brown. You haven’t seen him actually smile since sitting down even though he’s huffed a laugh or two.

“So did you just forget to call or what?” Eddie cuts across the conversation. You immediately look down at your feet to try and avoid everyone’s eyes. There’s so much sighing in this small space it’s a wonder there’s any air left to breathe.

“Edward-“

“It’s Eddie.”

His dad fully turns his body to face him. “Edward,” he enunciates it like Eddie is hard of hearing, “if you opened your ears you’d have heard me say I was trying to surprise you and Wayne.”

“We don’t like surprises.”

“Well I wouldn’t know that on account of you never visiting me.”

“Why would I do that when you just spend thirty minutes behind glass telling me everything wrong with me?”

The quiet is fucking unbearable so you set your glass of water on the table and shoot up, mumbling about needing the bathroom. That’s not allowed apparently.

“Candice?” You don’t like how Daniel says that. Like he’s testing the name out in his mouth. Eddie is on that immediately, steps in front of you like a shield and oh how you’d love to just crawl into the back of his ribs and burrow and get you both out of this excruciating visit.

“Nah, you don’t need to ask her anything.”

“Wayne, you sure they hang out all the time?” Daniel scoffs and stands, shoves his hands in the pockets of his faded blue jeans. Wayne looks questioning and Eddie takes a step back toward you.

“Well she seems to have some manners, would’ve thought that might’ve rubbed off on Eddie here.” He sets his shoulders wide when he looks down at Wayne and then over to Eddie playing knight to you. The confidence you get to speak is like a ray of sun peaking through a cloud momentarily. “Well those are questionable on a good day.” Eddie looks over his shoulder at you with cold eyes.

“At least you have them. Thought my brother would have done a better job than this. Father would’ve never put up with this.”

It’s Wayne’s turn to stand. “Danny, it’s been a few years since you’ve been in polite company so I’ll let that slide right now. Why don’t we let the kids go cool off while you and me have a little chat.” It’s not a question. Eddie realizes that as soon as the last word leaves Wayne’s mouth. He spins around and grabs your upper arm to pull you with him to his room. Before the door closes you can hear Daniel say something about an ‘ungrateful kid’ and the quiet anger in Wayne’s voice.

- - - -

The room is still with the door closed. Eddie stays leaned against it for a while, taking deep breaths to calm down. He can’t believe this is happening. Had no intention of you ever meeting his dad. Had no idea he was even close to getting out. It’d been such a good day too. He’d managed two B’s on two separate test and then you’d agreed to finally let him make you a character sheet for his new campaign. God this was wrong, he wanted to lash out at something but you’re here and he doesn’t want to let himself fall into that stupid rage. He can feel the tendrils of black creeping up the back of his head, invading his thoughts, when you let out an exasperated bark of laughter.

“Holy shit dude that was fucking tense!” You whisper yell at him. “I haven’t felt that weird since my dad came to visit last Christmas. Shit.” You draw out the middle of that ‘shit’ and turn around his room once. “I can like, go out the window if you want?”

No. Eddie doesn’t want that. If you leave he’s gonna stomp right back down that short hallway and punch his dad in the face. He’ll call the cops and tell Hopper his shitheel dad showed up and punched him first. Get him tossed back in jail for a few days, he doesn’t care.

No, Eddie wants to sit on his bed and show you how roll your stats. Wordlessly he walks across to the stack of binders and user guides next to his night stand and pulls out a notebook.

“Eddie?”

“C’mere.” He kicks his shoes off and throws his jacket down at the foot of the bed. Throws himself too against the pillows and tucks a leg under himself. When you don’t move to the bed he looks up from the notebook, through his hair and stares for a second.

“Dude, we don’t have to do that right now. I mean, we can do it la-“

“Please.” Quiet quiet quiet. Eddie’s never quiet and rarely does he use the ‘p’ word. Everything about today is sitting like a lead weight in your stomach. He’s pleading for something normal you realize and before you sit you turn his radio on, the low drone drowning out any utterance from the living room.

Twenty minutes later and you’ve decided on a purple Teifling fighter named Theodora. Eddie thinks it’s funny how into the horns you are and starts a little basic sketch in the corner of the page he’s writing your stats on. You’re asking him about the different dice when his dad’s voice cuts through the little dome of warmth you two are under.

“Well he’s my fucking kid Wayne, I know you like to forget that sometimes!” His voice hits Eddie hard and that’s all it takes for a sob to fall out of him. The tether he’d been hanging on by was thin apparently and he buckles.

“Hey, you okay?” Worry slides into your words.

“No.” His face is buried in his hands and the minor shake of his shoulders tells you the rest. Wordlessly you reach over and pull him to you, head resting on your shoulder and arms going around to squeeze hard. It’s a few minutes of Eddie sniffling into your shirt while you rub little circles on his back. He can’t seem to stop the slow leak of tears and he can feel the shame spreading red hot across his face. He’s only ever cried like this in front of his uncle and now, you. He’s never clung to you like a life raft, stuttering in breath and trying to wipe his eyes on his sleeve. Feels foolish but still doesn’t let go, needs to have some kind of grounding.

You’d been sitting next to him when you’d pulled him in and now the position feels like you’re being pretzeled in half. “Hey, scoot over.” You whisper and nudge him. He does, unwinds himself to lean back against the wall, props his arms on his raised knees. You spin and sidle up right next to him to fit your shoulder under his, arms wrapped around your knees. “I’m sorry your dad is such a dick.”

Eddie laughs wetly, “Yeah well, yours isn’t much better.”

“Fair. Maybe I’ll take you to Indy and we can just have a repeat of today?” You joke, nudging him. He laughs again and you watch him out of the corner of your eye. Tear tracks cut through his cheeks and you reach over without thinking to wipe them from one side with your fingertips. He just turns his head slightly, quirks an eyebrow and you just shrug.

“I’d tell you to not cry over him but he’s your dad.” Your dad may not be in prison but you get it. Spent enough time hating him to not get it. Still, seeing Eddie not loud and not smiling and not himself has changed your view of him a little. Nothing bad but there’s depth to him he was keeping hidden, another dimension of his personality that you hope he’ll let you into more if for nothing more than to help.

“You know if you want to talk about it…”

“I know.” Sniffles again and rocks his head back against the wall. “Thank you.”

- - - -

His dad leaves before you, evening settling when the roar of an engine pulls up outside. You and Eddie have been laying in bed side by side while he explains your new creation to you when the murmur of voices outside makes him get up to look through his blinds.

“Fucking asshole can’t seem to make new friends.” He flicks the blinds and settles back onto the bed with his back facing you. You want to reach out and place a hand between his shoulders to let him know it’s okay. Wayne cuts in though and it only annoys you a little when the door swings open and he just looks in. Worn and tired he tells Eddie his dad is gone.

“Yeah I saw him leave with Rob.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’m starting dinner okay? Coast is clear now.” He nods at you and you know a cue. Eddie stops you before you leave his room to shove the notebook at you.

“Hang on to that, I’ll finish it up tomorrow with you.”

“Thank you.” You smile at him before giving him one last hug. He’s still stiff but he does hug you back, arms squeezing your ribs a little longer than normal. Making your way out of the trailer, past Wayne who gives your shoulder a squeeze, you feel that familiar giddiness again. Try as you might it keeps getting harder to squish down, and as you grip the notebook close you can feel it pushing up around your invisible hands trying to stuff it down.

- - - -

The storm door closes and Eddie wanders out of his room to stand in the kitchen and stare at the side of his uncles head. Wayne knows he’s there obviously, but he finishes browning the ground beef and layering it with the peas in the casserole dish before looking at him.

“Ed, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t know about that.”

Eddie nods, throat bobbing when he swallows. “You don’t want him here either.”

“No I don’t.”

“What did he actually want?”

Wayne gives him a bullshit answer, something about money and a job. He’d been asking about custody again, said he had a life set up for himself in Elwood and wanted Eddie to live with him again. That conversation went nowhere and ended with Daniel yelling about ‘his boy’.

Dinner is quiet and Eddie only eats the mashed potatoes off his shepards pie but at least it’s something.

“If you wanna skip tomorrow it’s fine, I’ll call and tell ‘em you’re sick or something.”

“No, I told her I’d be there tomorrow.”

Wayne nods and silently cleans up dinner. When Eddie hugs him from behind, sliding his skinny arms around Wayne’s shoulders he just pats his hand with his.

“Thank you Wayne.”

“No thanks needed kiddo.”

(Sacrifice for the read more)

[s-d23]

How I fell in love

with The Walking Dead, Bethyl and Team Delusional. No one asked. Lol but I wanted to share! Back in 2014 I had heard of TWD but had never seen an episode, had no idea of the plot or who the characters were, all I assumed that it was a "scary" TV show and that was it. So in July I was flipping through the channels and ran across the dead, white and blue marathon. I was working but yea I could do my job and watch TV with no interruptions from my then 1 yo. The very first episode I laid my eyes on was Still. Can you believe that? The first random episode I found was my now favorite Still!! I had no idea of any background stories, I didn't even know their names at the time. All I seen was 2 young people running around an apocalypse with zombies who had major chemistry. It felt like a normal date night in the country. Finding an old abandoned house in the woods, drinking moonshine, someone getting too drunk and wanting to fight or argue, sitting on the porch and the crickets in the back ground. Sounds like a normal night in the south especially for a young couple. Hell, the first time my husband told me he loved me was when he was drunk on homemade moonshine and I live in NC but that's a different story. I kept watching these two characters and thinking they are going to at least make out! Really thinking they were going to go back into that cabin and (insert smut) however we all know they didn't. They did burn it down which again is a typical thing to do in the south burn something or have a big bon fire. I never once felt that there was some crazy age difference. I had no idea of their ages. After watching that episode I watched the next few and quickly realized that TWD was not all about scary zombies. I was in love and obsessed. I went and bought every season which was 4 at the time. By October I was completely caught up and so excited to find out what happened to beth and wanted the Bethyl reunion! I had not shipped a tv couple so hard since Spike and Buffy in high school!! Then Coda happened and I was so effected. I felt like I was actually mouring someone real not just a fictional character on a TV show. I cried myself to sleep. Now mind you at the time I was a 20 something year old women with a family and for days I was actually overcome with grief! Then it hit me. The whole thing did not feel right. The way she was shot and the angle of the gun. The way the music played at the end. I began to search on the internet because in my mind I really thought this has to be a fake out death and maybe someone else thought so or there was a spoiler of some sort to prove she was alive. That's when I found tumblr. I didn't know what that was before either. I found team delusional. Some of the people I followed are gone now but what everyone was saying and fact there were missing scenes that they filmed all made sense to me. I continued to watch the TWD until around season 7 or 8 then I lost interest. I never stopped following TD to see what they had to say, hoping eventually TWD would bring beth back. I never stopped reading all the bethyl ff. I did start back the main show to finish the last 2 seasons. Then of course the DD spin off. I notice the parallels on the DD show because the earlier seasons are my favorite and I have rewatched so many times. The parallels i see are of the end of season 4 and the beginning of season 5. All of the big beth episodes. I do believe that we are closer now than we have been to seeing her again! I think currently the writers want the GA to believe that Daryls happy ending will be with either Isabelle or Carol, however I think they are writing the story to seem like that, so it will be an even bigger surprise when Beth returns. ❤️

[wintergrew]

Actually i will say on KAYF...

The basic premise of KAYF was an idea I first got roughly ten years ago after watching various vampire media. (Let the Right One In, Shiki, etc.) Not the whole plot, but the basic premise of a (queer) couple broken up by one becoming a vampire while their town is being destroyed by...well, vampires. Originally with my friend's and my Star Wars ocs from the MMO swtor we were obsessed with and made a billion AUs for, but very quickly it became its own thing in my head with new OCs.

But at that point in my life i was not writing fiction. I was always too self conscious of my writing because someone flamed my cringeybwriting on Neopets when I was, like...8 or something. So I literally went a full ass decade without writing fiction (with the exception of a couple attempts i immediately abandoned because I hated them) until I decided to try again with South Park fanfiction because i don't even know. Which includes The Thief, which I was shocked people liked. It was a TERRIBLE point in my life, I should say, so having people enjoy what I wrote and saying nice things about it was quite literally one of the only good things I had.

But anyway I still had that vampire idea in the back of my head, but just as random scenes that played in my head of the two main charades + the person who ended up being Estella. (Though originally her and Scott's role was combined.) The plot wasn't really defined or anything, but the basic ending was in my head from the very very beginning.

Anyway...2020. i was supposed to see MCR. Then COVID postponed it. I was very sad about this. So I extra emo-ly listened to a shit ton of MCR. And listening to MCR, suddenly I was thinking about that vampire story and their music pretty much helped me put the plot into place. The terminal illness plotline. The vampire of the pairing being obsessed to save his love and the cruelty from the other vampires regarding that. And ofc the song Kill All Your Friends itself gave me the set up of an IT-like time skip where someone died and they all go back.

They were all still 100% OCs in my head at this point. I didn't really have much confidence anyone would like these idea but, I was actively writing South Park fanfiction people liked well enough. I'd only ever written fanfiction. So I was like "huh I guess I can make this idea Creek".

So I did. And then wrote three chapters and didn't update for a full year.

But then in 2021 it became my ADHD obsession. I stopped caring about The Thief Trilogy. All I could think of was KAYF and wrote the rest of it in three or so months... Over 100k words. Pretty sure the update schedule was longer than that, but I spaced out chapters by a week long after I was finished.

And people seemed to like it. It was too dark to be as popular as the Thief Trilogy, but I knew that. It was a much more personal story, though, especially with how emotional it was, so it meant SO MUCH to me that anyone liked it. Also because The Thief Trilogy feels basically just like a bloated fanfiction adaptation of the SOT game to me, while KAYF feels like mine, so the kind words for it meant even more in a way.

Until someone I thought was a friend trashed it relentlessly. Like, I'm fine with constructive criticism but they were just horrible. Spoiled the plot for people who wanted to read it directly after i asked them not to, went on condescending rants about how there was too much filler, how Tweek in it was an awful character who deserved to die, claimed characters were all too unsympathetic, joked about parts I meant in earnest, etc. And they got really mad at me that my feelings were hurt by this. It was a whole thing.

Anyway, I'm still to this day years later obsessed with this story year. I think about it every day, which is probably more unhealthy ADHD shit. And I always think about how to make it better. I hate how I wrote it so fast and didn't think about certain details or pacing or what have you. Like, once I finished writing it, I was sad because I wanted to keep writing it. I still do.

I hate that I disappoint people by not having it out there. I want it out there, just not the version I rushed in three months.

So, for now, the fic is hidden. Indefinitely.

Anyway if you read all this tl;dr rambling congratulations I guess.

[vampire-sugar]

Reading QOTD post! I’ve only got two chapters left to finish this thing… the story has picked back up again and I’ll probably finish today but had some things I wanted to post about. In sum it’s gotten interesting again but also Anne says some very wild things about the global south that takes me out of the story.

Thoughts and spoilers under the cut.

Cw: mentions of rape

Finished the story of the twins conclusion chapter…

The story picked back up again!! Khayman keeps proving himself a horrible character!! And Anne should never write about non-Western countries ever!! Let the book speak for itself…

Quotes that made me write ??? in the margins:

Lestat, reading the mind of one of the men he’s about to kill.

“And a savage hatred of the women rose out of him, replete with images of rape and retribution that made me smile, and yet I understood. Rather completely I understood. So easy to feel that contempt for them, to be outraged that they had dared to become the enemy, (…) they, the women!”

Khayman when the King and Queen are getting attacked by villagers + spirits, who at this point supposedly hates them for making him rape the twins:

“It was Khayman, loyal steward to the King and Queen, who snatched up a torch and went to the aid of his master and mistress.”

Lestat, about the indigenous Haitians meeting European colonizers:

“Not a single blood descendant remains of those peaceful beings who had breathed this balmy air, (…), and thought their visitors gods perhaps, who could not but return their kindness.”

Lestat, talking about how Akasha would need the help of other vamps to fulfill her vision:

“How can you begin without them? I mean really begin, not with these backward villages, I mean in the cities where the people will fight.”

And again:

“…those poor villages we’ve conquered, they are the same as they’ve been for thousands of years.”

Those poor villages are hopeless and unimportant, got it, thanks Lestat/Anne.

Maharet talking about Mekare being in South America:

“Centuries perhaps before man had penetrated the southern reaches of the jungle continent, Mekare had come ashore there (…). How long had she wandered among birds and beasts before she’d seen a human face? Had it been centuries, or millennia, this inconceivable isolation? Or had she found mortals at once to comfort her, or run from her in terror?”

Included that last part in the quote bc it’s as if Maharet hadn’t just said that first part of how, according to her, South America was uninhabited for centuries after the time of the twins.

Anyway, I did like the part where Maharet tells them all about The Great Family, and all the vamps are moved. It is moving, to see that after all the Twins and their people have been through, their family survived. (Let us forget about the marrying within the families part).

The Story of the Twins Conclusion chapter ends with Lestat arriving at the house, meaning that the Queen is probably also there.

They are going to try and reason with the Queen to convince her that what she’s doing is bad or whatever (which obviously it is, she’s bringing more death and destruction to places already riddled with it in order to create an empire of her own) in a way that Lestat was unable to articulate. Obviously it is clear at this point that she doesn’t actually care about ridding the world of oppression etc but I don’t like how the “moral of the story” for lack of better term is going to be like “this is why we should not interfere with human problems” or what Lestat pretty much said already, that the poor and war torn countries have always been that way and there’s nothing to do to change it, it’s just how the world works. When actually what Akasha says is so true —>

Lestat thinks that all the tragedies that Haiti has faced is “their destiny; their world; they who are human”. And Akasha replies:

“And what are we? Are we useless? How do we justify what we are! How do we stand back and watch what we are unwilling to alter?”

But Akasha is evil and a liar so… I doubt there will be a VC character who thinks this and actually believes it unfortunately…

Anyway, very excited to be done with this one and move on to the next. I am so determined to get to at least TVA before May 12th but given the pace at which I have read this book… i might be delusional lol.

Bonus prediction:

This might be like obvious at this point but I think the way they are going to kill Akasha without killing themselves is by having Amel transfer to Lestat. Is this why he’s like for real called the prince later? Probably.



[detectivewoof-a]

I said I was gonna do it and I did it. It's really fucking nasty down here.

‘Records of the cursed dogs in South America are few and in between, but the general consensus seems to be that they are an impossibility.’ 

He’d been lying on the floor for what felt like the longest ten minutes of his life, arms clutched hard over his midsection. Or maybe those were his intestines? It was hard to tell when the feeling of flesh seemed to blend together with the way his head swam from blood loss. 

The caliber had been large, the fucks, but they didn’t lace it like they usually did. No silver, or the blood would’ve started smelling like rot and mold now. No silver, which meant this wasn’t a hunt. Sadistic bastards wanted something... 

Manny was sure of it anyways. That Cult of the Sun or whatever they went by these days wouldn’t have tracked him for no other reason.  

‘A theory that commonly gets raised is why and how. Many figure that it’s the notion of this... beast that seems to guide them in extreme times of need and others, but where does it come from?’ 

He could feel his breathing slowing to a labor, the squelch and pain of trying to pack the important bits back where they needed to go was almost too much. It was probably a miracle he didn’t vomit or shit himself from the initial convulsion of shock. The rest of the bodily functions weren’t as lucky. 

Words were being spoken somewhere above to him. Maybe. Something about studying, of course it was, and the boot that tried to step on the mess of internals he didn’t have the energy to push wasn’t helping any. 

The snarling echoed in his ears was the last thing Manny could hear before letting himself get swept away in the cold. 

‘We’re not sure where it comes from, but one thing’s for certain: if you’ve downed one of the beasts then you need to make sure you finish it off. Leaving it to die on its own is not enough.’ 

The hunter watched in horror, a scream left dying in her throat at the scene. Her mentor caught by a massive claw that jutted out from the new hole in their captive’s body. Panic, orders, she scrabbled for the silver tips on her belt but a new noise made her drop them and the gun. A sickening, meaty snap. She didn’t want to look, but curiosity got the better... 

She really wished it hadn’t. 

Another thick, muscular, fur covered arm broke straight out of the mouth of their victim. The jaw was unhinged and broken clear in two places, hanging only by the muscle. The throat bulged thick and struggled around the mass. Wet, gagging sounds like being choked, oh God was he still alive?-- 

Her mentor yelled about his leg and screamed at her to fire, but she couldn’t. God, she couldn’t stop watching... 

The skin stretched until it tore, the mouth seemed to unhinge impossibly more. The gagging got louder, like a struggle to breathe. God, just die, please it’ll be kinder.  

Except there wasn’t any kindness when the freed claw was able to finally reach and tear. Flesh and muscle gave way with little difficulty not much different from clothes, she watched in horror as it tore into what was left of the shoulder as well. The injury that impacted was still there but somehow less. Smaller. 

Or maybe it was the size of the beast that stood before them that made them think that. 

It roared, she screamed, her mentor yelled at her to run. 

‘Stories say that their God will not accept them until their purpose has been fulfilled. Experience says that these creatures will die as long as we make sure they’re dead once they are down. This is why we call them Los Que Esperan.’ 

‘They are the ones that wait for death.’