#Like it's not forgetfulness just a more limited storage

[luosaugury]

After the war, somewhere along the way Javik takes up photography as a side hobby because it's the closest thing to prothean's memory-sharing and storage technology

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (Epilogue)

ー☆ Epilogue

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: suggestive language, cursing, smut ー☆ Word count: 8.7k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: mature ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: I chose no song for this chapter, so everyone is free to listen to whatever or not listen to anything at all, however, while doing the moodboard I was listening to Power and I actually started sobbing, so uh, you can give it a listen if you wish to! I won't yap here, so see you at the end of the chapter! <3 I hope you enjoy, and as always, let me know what y'all thought of the last chapter of my beloved series. divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf

@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380 @xciiiomwliah @vixensss

@catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

3 months later

            Spring was finally approaching, the weather having turned less harsh and warmer in the span of a few weeks, slowly painting nature in its vibrant and gorgeous colors that I would never get enough of. And we were lucky the air was warmer now outside, because in the confines of the limited space of my little studio of my Arts Club at university—which is more of a storage room to be fair—the smell of fresh dye and incense mingled together almost in a nauseating way, leaving me no option but to crack open the small window of the studio. Well, since it was so high up, I had to ask Mingi to open it as I didn’t want to get on a chair as I would have had to walk to the front of the room, and I was too lazy to do that. Music played quietly in the corner from Mingi’s portable speaker as he hummed along the melody of the song, typing away on his phone as his shoulders were slouched over, head lowered.

My eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as I bit my tongue, making sure the dye spread out evenly at the back of Mingi’s head, not wanting to leave spots of his previously platinum blonde hair. Around a week ago, he and Seonghwa hung out under the pretense of watching movies and having a boys' night in which they would drink beer and maybe compose some music, however, the next day when Mingi came over to have lunch with my mother and me, his hair was short. The long strands that curled prettily against his nape and ears were gone, replaced by short spikey hair that stuck up against his head, giving him a punkish look. My mother had squealed when she saw him, touched his hair, and then cradled his cheeks, gushing about how handsome he was, making me glare at the two as they forgot about my existence. Instead, I went and set the table and left them to their usual gossiping, shaking my head when my mother told him all about the new hot doctor at work she had her eyes on.

At times, those two would get lost in their own world and forget about my existence, amusing me, but also prompting me to give them a side-eye. Don’t get me wrong, I was beyond the moon that my boyfriend and mother got along really well, but at times it almost felt like I didn’t even exist—and before you would be like Mingi and say that I am dramatic, the fact that my mother seemed to love Yunho just as much as Mingi, definitely sent me into an existential crisis after the first time she confessed she loved the two as if they were her own sons. And about Yunho, well, yes, we’ve worked out our differences—which involved a lot of explaining, invoking buried memories, and a lot of apologies from Yunho’s side—so now we were all a big happy family—family as in not to be misunderstood, we all loved each other and had a nice bond. To be honest, I felt no mal-intent towards Yunho when after a month of dating Mingi we finally decided to sit down and discuss everything with his best friend, and I even found myself now confiding in him and asking him for advice in areas Seulgi—and Wooyoung—couldn’t help, because, after all, Yunho knew Mingi best. And Yunho’s girlfriend was an absolute angel and sweetheart, I took a liking to her quite quickly and found her love for literature rather adorable as she’d often quote her favorite characters from her favorite books.

Mingi snickered as I playfully pushed his head forward as I was done dyeing his platinum hair to a regular, darker, blonde with pink hues in it. I tried to look over his shoulder to see what he found so amusing but he cradled his phone to his chest and made me roll my eyes as I walked to the sink to wash the small bowl and the brush I used to dye his hair. Mingi changed the music to something more upbeat and a lot noisier than the music he, Wooyoung, and Seonghwa made, and I came to realize the speaker was playing Limp Bizkit. I couldn’t say that I enjoyed their music too much, I preferred something more indie, but I still appreciated some of their songs. I turned on the faucet and started washing the brush first as Mingi approached me and leaned against the counter, lips pursed as he tried to hide his cheeky smile. I threw him a questioning look as I rinsed the bowl out, applying a little soap in it to wash out the dye completely as Mingi finally spoke up, “Check this out, ‘Your face is a work of art, my legs should frame it.’”

My eyebrows furrowed as I gave Mingi a confused look, quickly making him pout, “Oh, come on! It’s ‘art rizz’!”

I snorted as I placed the bowl and brush aside to dry, peeling the gloves off my hands carefully to not stain my clothes or skin, “You’ve had better ones Mings, besides, shouldn’t I be saying that to you?”

“I mean,” Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed as he pocketed his phone in his light pink jeans, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He wore a white loose sleeveless tank top today, his biceps bulged from the action and I tried not to let my eyes linger on the well-defined muscles, “I definitely like the idea you’re suggesting—”

“As if we haven’t done that already.” I interrupted with a pointed look and Mingi just rolled his eyes.

“That’s beside the point,” And then he was smirking, leaning into my space as I rinsed the soap off my hands, “wait, are you suggesting something right now?”

“I just dyed your hair, Mingi, no, I’m not suggesting anything.” I sighed, unimpressed, as I shut the faucet off and grabbed a small towel to dry my hands off in it. You see, Mingi is rather…vocal with his needs and quick in executing them, so, I cannot say we haven’t been… active, if you know what I mean.

“Pity.” Mingi pouted for a second before he moved on to the next subject, his brain sometimes moving too fast for me to be able to keep up with him, “You remember that well-dressed woman from our last gig at Outlaw?”

“I sure do, she looked rather out of place with her pencil skirt and blouse.” I hummed as I leaned my hip against the sink, facing Mingi. He grinned and then fished his phone out of his pocket again and unlocked it, clicking on something I couldn’t see. Then, he cleared his throat and raised it to a higher pitch that was definitely mocking the woman’s voice.

“Mr. Song, I am delighted to let you know that Horizon Records would love to work with Noir Zenith, and we’d like to set an appointment as soon as it fits you and your bandmates' schedule. – Hong J.” Mingi bit his bottom lip as my eyes widened, prompting me to hold onto his wrist in excitement.

“Wait,” I said, eyebrows lightly furrowing, “isn’t this that super famous and huge record everyone dreams of getting signed to?!”

And when Mingi’s smile grew into a hug grin, I felt joy and excitement fill my senses as I grabbed both of Mingi’s hands, jumping up and down as he giggled and followed along, the two of us jumping in small circles like little kids. I couldn’t believe my ears, this was even bigger than the last record they agreed to sign with for half a year—the one Hongjoong helped out with—and once their contract was over, they could sign a new one with Horizon Records.

“That’s fucking amazing, Mingi!” I exclaimed loudly as we finally stopped jumping around, my heart beating fast as Mingi nodded in excitement, his teeth visible as he couldn’t stop smiling.

“I know, Wooyoung started running laps while screaming and Seonghwa cried clinging to me for half an hour when I told them.” I chuckled at the image in my head, but quickly realized the message wasn’t fresh. Before I could go off on him for hiding something so important from me, Mingi beat me to it, a knowing glint in his eyes, “Mrs. Hong sent the text yesterday afternoon and I only didn’t tell you about it because I knew we’d meet today and I wanted to see your reaction, so, don’t be mad, please.”

And how could I be mad at him when his plump lips were jutting out and his eyebrows raised in a manner that made him look adorable and heartbreaking at the same time? I huffed and squeezed his hands before I released them, trying to play off the fact that he already knew me so well, “I wasn’t about to get mad, I’m very happy for you and the rest of the boys, my love.”

Mingi giggled and looked away, the high of his cheekbones slightly flushed, and I grinned because I could never get over the fact that calling him ‘love’ or ‘my love’ turned him into a giggling and blushing mess. It was adorable, cute, and somehow still sexy, and before I would let any stray thoughts enter my head and distract me from the plans we had, I cleared my throat, “We should eat that pizza we ordered, it’s probably already gone cold.”

Mingi hummed but didn’t speak up as I went to walk towards the white sheet we had laid on the floorboards to sit on, pizza, black nail polish, Mingi’s pink beanie, and my sketchbook scattered all over it. However, before I could take another step, my feet suddenly weren’t touching the ground anymore as I was lifted by the waist, a squeal leaving my lips as I clutched onto Mingi’s bare arms, “Mingi! Put me down!”

“No.” He giggled against my neck and I felt his warm lips press a small kiss against my nape as my hair was in a bun, then he was running towards the sheet as we both laughed, the song playing through the speaker drowned out by our loudness. He finally placed me back down on my feet when we reached the white sheet and I sat down in a crisscross position, opening the box of pizza as Mingi took his seat across me. I grinned as I grabbed a slice, my stomach growling in hunger once again, and then I took a bite of the cheesy pepperoni pizza, making Mingi chuckle as he looked less hungry and less eager to devour our lunch for today. I extended my hand for his phone and he gave it to me without a word, I typed in his password before I looked through his playlist, taking bites of my pizza in the meantime. I found a slower beat that I liked and switched the currently playing song to that and then handed his phone back after I locked it, smiling as Mingi was flipping through my newest sketchbook which had mostly drawings of him.

I didn’t expect him to flip to that particular page and I almost choked as the pizza went down a little array, making Mingi smirk as he pulled the drawing closer to himself, dark eyes inspecting his sleeping form in the drawing. Well, the drawing looked completely innocent unless you knew what happened before it, and I couldn’t help but blush harder when Mingi bit his lower lip, pizza in his hand forgotten as he traced the blanket that hung low on his naked hips, torso on display and face serene as he had been in a deep slumber. When he looked up, he didn’t look much too smug, but there was a glint in his eyes that I had become accustomed to too well. He was in awe, but he was turned on, and I couldn’t help but stuff my face more with pizza, satiating my hunger as a means of distraction from the fact that I drew Mingi post-sex not even four days ago.

“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a talented songwriter and composer but a good hell of a painter.” His voice was deeper as he mumbled, taking a bite of his pizza as he glanced back down at the drawing, “I want to draw you too, to capture you in all forms and commemorate you for an eternity.”

Well, what a way to make me blush harder. I grabbed another slice as I had finished the first one as a means to stall for a second, ponder over my answer, “You’re good with your words though, unlike me. I always struggle to express myself concisely, yet to you it’s easy. You create beautiful lyrics and you never fail to capture my true nature in your songs, so I think I’ll always live on in your music, Mingi, you have already commemorated me for an eternity.”

That made Mingi blink in surprise as he hadn’t even realized that before, and I smiled as he gave me a lasting look before he flipped the page, the drawing of him playing with a kitten I had found outside my porch. Now, she was our kitten and she, obviously, loved Mingi more than me—just like my mother, I didn’t try to complain about this too, “You inspire me like none other.”

“You inspire me too, Mings.” Mingi’s smile was shy as he continued flipping through the sketchbook, less filled than my other ones as I decided to dedicate this one only to him. He’d seen the older sketches plenty of times before, yet he never failed to become shy when looking through them.

I finished my slice of pizza, dusted my hands off and made sure my cheeks weren’t greasy as I leaned towards the black nail polish, shaking it in front of Mingi with a grin, “Ready to get your nails painted?”

He nodded excitedly and handed me his left hand as he still held his slice of pizza in the right one. His thick fingers were smooth and decorated with rings, much like mine, and I flipped my left hand around to place his palm in mine. After having arrived at my humble studio once we were finished with our classes for the day, Mingi got to work and painted my nails. He had bought some new nail polish a week ago and convinced me to surprise me with them, so, the nails on my left hand were now almost neon green and the nails on my right hand almost Barbie pink. Sometime along, painting each other’s nails became a habit, something we both enjoyed doing and now we could confidently call it our thing.

I concentrated hard to not smudge the skin around his nails, eyebrows furrowed and teeth clamping down on my bottom lip as Mingi’s eyes were either on me or his nails, bobbing his head along to the rhythm of the song playing. He usually chewed loudly and I was thankful he kept his mouth closed this time, knowing that it would only irritate me if he started chewing on his slice of pizza aggressively—it wouldn’t be the first time he does it just to annoy me. As I finished doing his middle finger, his phone rang and Mingi reached over to his left side as he bit on the crust of his pizza, picking his phone off the floor as the music cut off. He accepted the phone call and put it on speaker as I chuckled and watched him take out the crust from his mouth so that he could talk.

“Hey! Song Mingi!” It was unmistakably Wooyoung’s voice as he screamed into the phone, making me concerned that Mingi would lose his hearing if he had just normally picked up the phone without putting it on speaker, “What’s up, bro?!”

Mingi snickered, shaking his head as I finished painting the nails on his left hand, “I told you yesterday that I would hang out with Y/N after classes.”

“Ah, right,” Wooyoung hummed as I leaned down to press a kiss against Mingi’s hand, making him grin as he finished his slice, eagerly handing over his right hand to paint his nails, “And where are you two lovebirds?”

“In her studio,” Mingi answered as I got to work, careful as always as I painted his pinkie’s nail.

“Now that you mention, Seulgi said something about not being able to work on her assignment in the studio because of you two.”

I scoffed and before Mingi could answer, I spoke up as I leaned towards the phone, “I told Seulgi to do her assignment not two days before the deadline, and I also told her a week ago that I’d be hounding the studio with Mingi today.”

“Heard that babe?!” Wooyoung’s voice was distant just for a second, then he snickered, “She says you’re lucky she loves you, otherwise she would’ve kicked you out of your studio.”

“My own studio.” I huffed and applied another coat over Mingi’s forefinger’s nail to even out the texture, “What a bitch.”

“A bitch that is forced to listen to her best friend’s constant bitching, who’s the bitch now, Y/N?” Everyone snickered and I rolled my eyes as there was the unmistakable sound of a kiss pressed against a cheek through the phone, Mingi and I shared a look of mild disgust as I went to paint his thumb’s nail.

“Don’t start making out while you’re on the phone with me, Wooyoung.” Mingi’s voice carried disgust but there was a hint of amusement, “Anyways, what’s the purpose of your call? You never call unless you need something or I ask you to remind me of something.”

“It’s neither this time,” Seulgi chuckled through the phone, and then there was shuffling and I knew she walked away. I finished Mingi’s nails and closed the bottle of nail polish, sitting up on my knees to kiss Mingi’s cheek as he bit his lower lip, grinning at me as he wriggled his fingers happily.

“Do not be late to Aurora’s opening tonight and wear something extra fancy, Hongjoong will have our heads if we don’t honor his fiancé for God’s sake.” Wooyoung sounded mildly annoyed but it was no secret that he loved Hongjoong probably almost as much as he loved all of his friends, however, he’d never admit that to anyone. Aurora became the name of Seonghwa’s studio and small gallery, and tonight was the grand opening. Everyone was excited about it, with Seonghwa being a nerve wreck as he feared people wouldn’t show up. After having talked to both him and Hongjoong, they agreed to display a few of my paintings in the front lobby and I was giddy and curious about everyone’s reaction to them. Nobody knew what I had handed over to Seonghwa, and he had beamed when his eyes took in the paintings, he getting emotional instead of me and making me chuckle as I hugged him tightly and thanked him for the opportunity.

“You should worry about yourself, Woo,” Mingi teased with a chuckle, “Y/N and I will look impeccable, as always.”

“That is for sure,” I muttered as I sat back on my ankles, watching Mingi with a grin as we had decided to match our outfits for the night.

“Talk to you later, we’ve got some business to attend to with Y/N now.” And then Wooyoung said his goodbye and they hung up as Mingi pointed towards the pizza with a pout, “I’m still hungry, will you feed me?”

And even if I said no and rolled my eyes, five minutes later Mingi had a teasing glint in his eyes as I fed him his third slice of pizza, smart enough to remain silent or else I wouldn’t have continued feeding him or helping him drink water while his nails dried.

            Barely an hour later, when Mingi’s hunger and thirst were satiated and his nails were dry, we replaced the white sheet with a huge flat canvas that we would paint over. We had agreed on painting a scenery, something similar to the creek we so much liked to visit when the weather allowed it, but sometime along my attempts at making it look like the actual creek, Mingi’s not so painter skills came into the mix and created a—whatever that did not look like the creek. He refused to admit that what was supposed to be the water now looked like the sky, making the whole painting look like it was upside down from our standpoint, and he also kept on vehemently denying that he tried to paint a dick over the trunk of the tree I spent at least fifteen minutes on to make it look as realistic as possible. All in all, I concluded that without Mingi here I would’ve been able to finish the painting in a maximum of three hours, however, now there was no future for finding a vision in whatever we have created.

But I didn’t mind, because this was Mingi’s and my work, something we created together while laughing and talking about whatever came to our minds, the atmosphere light and joyful. I had also washed out the dye from his hair and we towel-dried it, making it look spikier than usual. I couldn’t lie, this new hair made Mingi look incredibly hot, and it took me some willpower to not jump him as he looked at me with those sharp eyes and a knowing smirk, the asshole.

“But you’ll dye it back to black soon, right?” I asked while painting clouds over the once creek turned sky now. Mingi was behind me, crouched down, and his clothes still somehow miraculously not stained. I wore my old overall knowing that I’d stain myself the second I opened a can of paint, and I wasn’t wrong at all as the edges of my pants were already stained green and white.

“I mean, do you hate this color?” Mingi asked from behind me as he dipped his brush into black, terrifying me of whatever he had in mind to do with the color once I saw him.

“What the hell do you need black for?!” I exclaimed as I grabbed his wrist, making his eyebrows shoot up in amusement.

“Aren’t artists supposed to just go with the flow?” His lips jutted out as he playfully leaned closer, my eyebrows furrowing as I was ready to oppose his idea, “You’re making me question your working etiquette, doll, I don’t find you creative enough—”

“As if!” I exclaimed only mildly offended as I knew Mingi was only teasing me, “Going with the flow and trusting your instincts is one thing, love, but having no vision or idea in mind is plain terrifying.”

“I was going to sign the top of it, but never mind—”

“Fine,” I groaned, gripping his wrist to stop Mingi from twisting away. His voice was whiney and he was pouting, not even looking at me as if he was offended. I knew he wasn’t; he was just acting up to get what he wanted. And unfortunately, it was working embarrassingly well on me, “Sign it.”

“Great!” He beamed as he leaned forward, mindful of staining his pink jeans with paint and I sighed as I shook my head, making curved lines before I colored them to make them look more like clouds. I had no idea what would become of the painting, but I certainly was eager to find out.

“Back to your hair,” I spoke up as Mingi carefully drew his ‘fix on’ signature onto the canvas, “I don’t hate the blonde but I miss your natural color, it suits you more, makes you look cuter and softer.”

“Aw,” Mingi turned back to give me puppy eyes—which he learned from Yunho, no doubt, “you like your boyfriend to be all soft and cute? I thought you like it when I get all wild and destroy—”

“Do not finish that sentence, Song Mingi.” I threatened as I sat back, brush pointed threateningly towards Mingi.

“Or what?” His crooked teeth showed as he grinned, quirking an eyebrow to annoy me further. I huffed and tried to think of a good comeback, but came up empty-handed for once so I gave him a pointed glare.

“I’ll stain you with paint.”

“Bet.”

“Bet.”

And I know Mingi didn’t expect me to actually follow through with my childish threat, but as I jerked my wrist in his direction, the remaining paint from my brush flew off and, well, stained his white sleeveless tank top. Mingi’s mouth fell open as he gaped down at himself, and I laughed, giving him a smug look.

“What, did you think I was fucking around?”

“Oh, I’ll make you wish you never did that!”

And before I could prepare myself for whatever attack he had planned, he pressed his hand against his brush and coated it in black paint then sprung towards me, making me gasp as his thick fingers drew a cold line against my cheekbone. Mingi grinned as I stared at him in surprise, but I reacted soon quickly as I pressed my fingers into the fresh paint on the canvas and returned the favor, the only difference being that I drew a circle on his forehead with white paint. Mingi blinked once, then twice, and a mischievous grin spread onto his lips which told me that I was in trouble.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, but Mingi was fast as he dug his whole hand in green paint and slapped my ass painfully hard, making me cry out as it stung even through the fabric, making me give him a deadly glare, “Song Mingi! That fucking hurt!”

“You’re a pussy.” He stuck his tongue out and I tsked, leaning down to push my whole hand inside the red paint. Mingi’s eyes widened as I gave him a victorious smirk, eyes narrowing as he jumped up to his feet, holding his arms up in defeat.

“Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to start a war—” But his futile attempts at saving his ass fell on deaf ears as I cackled and took off towards him, making him yelp as he tried to duck and run away, making us run around the canvas. We were both barefoot and as Mingi tried to jump over the canvas, he miscalculated where his long legs would land and landed on his freshly painted signature, making him yelp again as it was no doubt cold against his feet. I laughed as I easily caught up with him and felt up his chest, biting my lower lip as Mingi’s eyes widened.

“Oh, no, your white shirt is all stained now.” I fake pouted as Mingi froze, incredulous eyes looking between me and his shirt. I chuckled and clapped my hands together, deciding that my job was done here, but then Mingi was stepping back and leaving foot marks all over the canvas on purpose. I scoffed but didn’t care much, the poor painting had been long ruined. I crossed my arms in front of my chest in defiance as he dipped both of his hands in pink paint and then gave me a grin as he beckoned me over with a finger. I huffed in disbelief as if I’d hand myself over willingly to him. And he knew that because I dipped both of my hands in light blue paint and faced him again. Our stare-off was intense and calculating as we both tried to guess the other’s next step, and thinking I’d have the upper hand, I stepped in the middle of the canvas just as Mingi moved too and I raised my hands to dirty his tank top even more when he cupped my cheeks and made me squeal.

The paint felt cold against my skin and I knew it would dry it out once it started drying itself, but I was far too amused to worry about something so insignificant right now. Wanting revenge, I grasped his hair and massaged my hands well into the freshly dyed darker blonde strands, making his hair look like cotton candy due to the pink hue mixing with the light blue of the paint.

“My hair! Y/N!” Mingi whined loudly slapping my hands away, but I wasn’t finished as I dirtied his jaw, neck, and tank top too. Mingi was pouting hard and glaring at me at the same time, already sharp eyes turning sharper and full of revenge as he flushed his body against mine and cupped my ass over the fabric, gripping tightly and kneading the flesh.

“Mingi!” I exclaimed, content with being so close to him, but also annoyed that he kept going for my ass, “Leave my ass alone, you idiot!”

“You ruined my hair!”

“I told you to dye it black and not a different shade of blonde.”

“I thought you were a firm believer in people doing whatever they want.”

“I am, but you’re my boyfriend and I find you hotter with black hair.”

“Well, you’re my girlfriend and I find you hotter with my dick down your throat.”

We both paused as my eyes widened and Mingi caught himself a second later, cheeks flushing as he looked sheepish, finally releasing my ass as his hands settled around my hips instead, “Oopsie, that went too far but it’s the truth—”

He cried out as I whacked him over the head, giving him a fierce look, “Yeah? I also find you hotter gagged around my fingers—”

“We only did that once!”

“Are you afraid it makes you less masculine?”

“I agreed to let you peg me, bro.”

“I know, bro, and you fucking enjoyed it.”

“So, what’s the issue here?”

“That you keep slapping and kneading my ass, leave it alone.”

“Okay, princess, my bad.”

“You’re the princess, Mingi, not me. You’re always whining.”

“And you’re always beating me up, Y/N.”

“Am not!”

“Yeah, you are!”

I scowled at Mingi and pushed him back by the chest, by no means aggressively or harshly, but his dramatic ass pretended to stumble and then he fell back, splaying out across the canvas. I huffed and pinched the bridge off my nose as he made fake crying noises, blinking up at me slowly, “See? I’m huwt.”

I closed my eyes to compose myself and control the need to kick him in the balls for being cringy, “Don’t talk like that, oh, my God.”

“Do you hate it?” He grinned evilly as I walked off the canvas, and to look at me, he turned onto his stomach as he cupped his chin and raised his legs to swing them in the air. He looked like a mess with the paint all over his hair, face, and body, some having gotten onto his pants too now that he was laying on the canvas. I chuckled and shook my head as I eyed my boyfriend, knowing that I looked probably just as messy as him.

“I do, actually, you’re only cute when you’re not trying to be cute.” I deadpanned and Mingi huffed dramatically, letting his arms fall as he pressed his forehead against them. Eyes falling on his round ass, I knew it was my time for payback, and I moved swiftly before he could realize what I was aiming for—it wouldn’t be the first time—so I quickly kneeled next to him and leaned down, baring my teeth as I opened my mouth wide. At first, Mingi jumped when my teeth made contact with his jeans and then when I bit down hard, he yelped, soon turning into loud cries as I continued to bite his left ass cheek harder and harder. He started flailing around and I pulled back with a cackle after I made sure my teeth had sunken in deep enough. But, I had no time to react as he quickly turned around and leaped onto me, landing on top of me as I fell back onto the canvas, no doubt smudging even more whatever paint hadn’t dried yet.

Mingi got on top of me, sitting on my hips as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, pinning me to the floor. I smirked as I raised my eyebrows tauntingly at him, watching his eyes slowly rake over my body to take me in.

“That hurt.”

“Fair enough, it hurt too when you slapped my ass.”

“Well, you have no right to whine so much about it anymore.”

“I do if you keep slapping it, and I also have the right to bite your ass as revenge.”

Mingi’s eyes narrowed and I giggled as he slowly leaned down, placing his hands on both sides of my head to prop himself up, effectively caging me between himself and the floor. I continued looking at him challengingly as he bit his bottom lip, eyes never settling as they searched my face for even a fraction that showed that I would back down. But I wouldn’t, and he knew that by now as he suddenly smirked too, leaning so close our lips brushed against each other.

“I think I won, doll.”

“I didn’t know we were in a contest, love.”

And then he sealed his lips against mine, shutting up the both of us in the most effective way as our lips moved slowly, savoring each other’s taste and lips. Mingi shifted above me and I eagerly opened my legs to let him settle between them as I hugged his torso, hands raking up and down his back slowly as his hips pressed firmly against mine. I smirked against Mingi’s lips when his breath hitched in the back of his throat due to my fingers tangling into his short strands now a little crusty from the red paint in it, it was no secret that Mingi liked it when I pulled on his hair. He cupped my chin with one hand as he pressed his weight on his left arm, the only cue I needed to open up my mouth to grant him access. We both sighed in contentment as his tongue slowly glided against mine, my legs coming up around his hips to lock Mingi’s body against mine.

Mingi moaned when I tangled my fingers just a little harder into his hair, letting him lap at my tongue as he explored my mouth, my body growing hotter as the seconds passed by, hands slipping under his loose tank top to feel up his warm skin. The skin of his back was smooth and I pressed my nails into it as I slowly racked it up his back, feeling Mingi shiver against my body as he jerked his hips forward, making me hum against his mouth as he pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and clamped down on it, sucking hard. I groaned and dug my nails into his shoulders, pulling my head back to be able to lean up and press kisses against his lean neck, his cologne mixing with the paint that was smeared all over us. My lips were hot as I parted them to press wet kisses against his flesh, sucking in the areas I knew Mingi was sensitive to, making him groan and jerk his hips forward again. With a hand slipping down to his hips, I gripped him firmly and prompted him to grind against me, Mingi’s head buried in my hair as I continued to press kisses until I reached his collarbones, gripping the hem of his tank top. He wasted no second as he pulled back just slightly, slipping the fabric off his torso, leaving it bare for me as I grinned at him, feeling his chest and abs up as he worked at the clips of my overall.

I kissed the skin between his pectorals and then pressed up on my elbows as Mingi made quick work of slipping the overall down to my waist and ultimately out of them as goosebumps covered the bare skin of my legs. We threw the overalls off to the side and Mingi was then moving back, down between my legs as he hovered above my thighs, eyes boring into mine as he pressed a feather-like kiss against my left thigh. I gulped and fisted my palms as heat pooled in my lower stomach, his lips always featherlight as he advanced higher up on my thighs with nips and kisses, sometimes licking at the skin teasingly. I knew my cheeks were flushed as I felt hotter by the minute and I shuddered when his lips pressed against my core through the fabric of my panties, making the breath hitch in the back of my throat. Mingi smirked and did it once again before he licked a slow strip upward, closing his eyes to hum, and I let my fingers tangle in his hair as he tapped my inner thigh, moving away from where I wanted him most.

He sat back to undo the buttons and zipper of his jeans, and I watched in anticipation as he slipped the fabric off his thick thighs and ass slowly, in a teasing manner, bottom lip between his teeth as he was half hard already, eyes hooded once he was done with his half-assed striptease. I chuckled and he was all over me again, hips flushed against mine again as I wrapped my legs around his hips, eager to feel his heavy body press me down into the floor. Mingi’s fingers gingerly traveled from my waist up to the hem of my blouse and then he brought it over my head and arms, landing in the pile of clothes to the side. And then his lips were over mine again, licking into my mouth and biting my lip messily as he slowly ground his hips against mine, making me hold onto him as it was easy to feel him in just our underwear. One of my hands went to tease at the elastic of his boxers and, despite him talking shit about it, I knew he liked it when I kneaded his ass, the skin sensitive for him there.

Mingi moaned and ground just a little harder against me, making me burn for him more as he cupped one of my boobs through the bra, pinching the bud as our tongues moved messily without much purpose or goal, too focused on how our bodies felt with the ministrations done to it. As he pressed himself up on his elbow, the hand that grabbed my boob traveled lower on my body until it was inside my panties and rubbing circles against my clit, making me moan out his name loudly, his length grinding up against my thigh as he bit my collarbone, making me screw my eyes shut as I was throbbing for him. But he was a little shit and he only teased, rubbing but never quite letting his fingers slip inside as he chuckled against my ear, making me grit my teeth at him as I gripped his wrist to keep him pressing against my clit as my hips kicked off the floor.

“You’re wet, doll.”

“And you’re not doing enough, love.”

Mingi chuckled again and I moaned as he teasingly slipped just the tip of his finger inside, his rings cold against my burning skin, my nails digging into the flesh of his ass. Mingi groaned and pulled back, making me groan in frustration as I glared at him, but he quickly silenced me with his lips as I felt him pull down my panties, I shimmied my hips to help him get over with it faster. He grinned and nipped at my bottom lip as I pushed his boxers off too, grabbing his dick to teasingly rub at his slit, making him hiss against my lips as our eyes fluttered open.

“What? Only you can tease?” Mingi’s eyes were dark and narrowed as he bucked against my hand, my pace awfully slow in jerking him off, “I could tell you to get off me and I would go on with my merry day—”

“Sure,” Mingi grinned, lips ghosting against my ear as his voice had dropped lower than usual, grabbing my wrist to stop my movements, “but you love my dick too much to pass up on it.”

I scoffed but said nothing, perhaps a little too desperate to have it inside me finally. I hated it when he teased me too much, and because Mingi knew this, he never passed up on the opportunity to get on my nerves even when we were having sex. He enjoyed it perhaps a little bit too much. But the teasing was finally over as he had gotten enough of it, eager to push in as he lined himself up with my entrance, pressing a kiss against my lips.

“I don’t have a condom.” He whispered, eyes searching mine.

“Just pull out, I’m fine.” I circled his shoulders, embracing myself as my core throbbed, eager to have his size expand my walls. Mingi hummed and then pressed another kiss against my lips as he slowly pushed inside, having to take it slow as he didn’t stretch me out with his fingers first, the burn insistent despite our active sex life. I still haven’t gotten used to it, but I didn’t mind as it only made me wetter for him, more eager to take him. Mingi’s bottom lip was between his teeth as he kept his breath labored, concentrating on not hurting me and taking it slow until I said so. I let my fingers run through his hair as I sighed, trying to relax my muscles and just melt into his arms, pressing a kiss against his cheek when he paused abruptly, shuddering.

“You’re so tight,” His voice was barely above a whisper and strained, “I’m about to burst.”

“So soon?” I asked with a chuckle, teasing as it earned me a sharp glare, “And whose fault it is I’m so tight? Your fingers are there for a reason.”

“Shut up.” Mingi groaned and then pressed in fully, a gasp leaving my throat at the sudden move, eyebrows scrunching up as he pressed in deep, making me feel fuller than before. My walls clamped down against his dick and Mingi pressed his forehead against mine as I embraced him, letting my fingers tangle in the short hair against his nape. I nodded, eyes boring into each other, and then Mingi was moving, slowly at first, pulling out only halfway before he was pressing back in, sighs leaving my lips as the pleasure was slowly building up, my hips moving in an attempt to meet his thrusts.

He secured his knees better against the canvas and pressed up on his elbows, hovering over me as his cross necklace dangled in my face, and the image was way too good and hot, knocking a moan out of me as he started thrusting faster, hips slamming back against mine as our pace got faster and more urgent, our breathy moans falling against each other’s lips as I nipped on Mingi’s bottom lip. I hooked a finger against the silver chain as his nose scrunched up, hips slamming back against mine with more purpose, more power, and eagerness as he looked down between our bodies, a grunt leaving his lips as he enjoyed the view. I hooked my legs tighter around his hips and prompted him to move faster, most of my moans were swallowed as we had to remember that we were at university still, in my own studio, so we couldn’t be too vocal. The walls here weren’t soundproof like in Mingi’s studio, yet staying quiet proved to become harder and harder as Mingi started pistoning his hips, grunts turned into low moans as he slammed his lips against mine, our breaths getting swallowed as our teeth knocked together, saliva gathering in the corner of our mouths as I pressed my hands against the small of his back, my own arching off the floor for an even better angle, keening his name when he finally reached the spot that had me seeing stars.

But Mingi was a diligent man who took his time in everything he did, even sex, and if he could prolong our orgasms, then he certainly would, so I had no doubt we’d be at it for a while, subsequently making us late to Aurora’s opening. And we couldn’t have that happening, but our brains were too fogged up and busy with something else to notice Wooyoung’s insistent texts on Mingi’s phone or my mother’s call to remind me I had to be home in fifteen minutes to start getting ready. Oh, well.

            Turns out, we got there just in time and nobody screamed our ears off—I’m looking at you Wooyoung—and Seonghwa was certainly overwhelmed when he saw the number of people that showed up for the opening. It was a mix of all age groups and people who knew Seonghwa and Hongjoong from different places, like Hongjoong’s employees or Seonghwa’s colleagues from his major, and there were even more fans of Zenith Noir that showed up, surprising all three of the guys. Seulgi and I stood to the side with grins on our faces as their fans swarmed them and gushed about the beautiful designs Seonghwa had displayed, some put behind glass to protect the expensive material Hongjoong’s team had worked on, and some even put out to be tried on and bought if someone desired to do so.

Seonghwa’s speech had been an emotional one in which he thanked everyone for their support and Hongjoong for believing in him and offering him opportunities he thought were real only in a far-fetched dream, and then I got teary-eyed when Seonghwa’s family surprised him with cake and hugs and praises, making me extremely happy for being able to chase his dreams. The matching rings Hongjoong and he had on their ring finger were eye-catching to those who didn’t know about their engagement, and it was Hongjoong who proudly announced it to the whole room while Seonghwa flushed and tried not to hide behind Hongjoong despite being taller than his fiancé. It was a sight to behold and I wasn’t surprised to feel Mingi cuddle up into my side and sniff loudly as he watched his friends with a proud smile on his lips, Wooyoung amusingly quiet for once.

When everyone was done appreciating Seonghwa’s efforts and creations, he announced with a cheeky smile that the next time anyone visited, the front lobby would be decorated by other artists’ works, but because I had a special request, tonight my works were displayed in the room adjacent to this. I felt my heart in my throat as Seonghwa led us towards the dark room, then our eyes met and I nodded with a small smile, biting my bottom lip as the light switch was flipped on, coating the room in light. I turned to look at Mingi in anticipation as his eyes widened, and he broke free of the crowd, hurrying inside to take in the entirety of the room, from being incredulous to teary-eyed and then looking like the happiest man on Earth, I couldn’t help it but let my heart swell in happiness and pride as I watched him chuckle and look at me with eyes filled with pure and honest love.

The soft sage green walls were decorated with two portraits of Mingi I had sketched out right at the beginning when I had met him, when I wasn’t so familiar with all of his features yet. Then it progressed to the moments I had captivated as our relationship slowly progressed into that of friendship, us sitting in his car, Mingi driving, Mingi laughing at making me flustered, Mingi’s sharp eyes watching me in a faceless crowd, Mingi up on stage shining like the star he is, Mingi gazing at me with yearning in his eyes, Mingi hugging me warmly into his chest, Mingi chewing on his bottom lip in concentration as he sat in his chair in his studio, working on his music, Mingi looking upset because I rudely disregarded everything that’s happened between us, Mingi angry because I was too stubborn to admit my feelings for him, too afraid to move on from Yunho, and at last, Mingi smiling so widely his eyes disappeared, nose scrunched up and his front teeth showing a little more than usual, pure happiness painting his face.

There was a low murmur amongst the crowd as everyone took in the sketches, drawings, and paintings, but I was only focused on Mingi and his reaction to seeing the stages of our relationship displayed through my eyes, my feelings, and my thoughts. And then, more towards the end of the exposition, there was an old sketch of Yunho I had done while still mulling over the failure of our relationship, and right next to it was a painting of both Yunho and Mingi as they sat next to each other, laughing about whatever was funny at that moment. I had captured the moment when Mingi, me, Yunho, and his girlfriend had gone out for dinner, and then I decided I wanted to paint it twice and gift it to Mingi and Yunho for Christmas. I suppose Mingi would get his sooner than Yunho, I’m sure neither would mind.

Seonghwa announced that I was the artist behind the creations and the room erupted in cheers and claps as people complimented me on my talent, but my eyes were on Mingi only as his blazer was glittery underneath the white light, matching my floor-length glittery black dress. He opened his arms and I didn’t waste any more seconds to approach him and let him crush me in his arms, his embrace warm and reassuring as he pressed his face into my hair, exhaling loudly as I embraced him back just as tightly, closing my eyes as my heart was racing. These past three months I spent next to him had been the best time of my life ever, he made me happier and feel safer than anyone else ever. He helped me get better at controlling my explosive emotions and he helped me slowly break down the walls I so defensively built up after Yunho’s departure. He made me unafraid to love and to receive love, he made me want to spend the rest of my life with him.

I wanted a forever with him.

“I love you, Mingi.” And it was the first time I voiced those thoughts, voice clear but quiet so that only he’d hear it. I felt Mingi freeze, a gasp leaving his mouth as he pulled back, holding me at arm's length as I smiled at him softly, “I love you.”

Mingi gulped as his eyes suddenly turned teary, and he cupped my cheeks as he lowered his head to press his forehead against mine, inhaling deeply as he nodded his head. He’d said those three words to me before, unafraid and unashamed to let me know how he truly felt towards me, and I finally found the courage to say it back. I finally was ready to let him know just how much I felt for him, that I loved him just as much as he loved me.

“I love you, Y/N, so much.” His voice trembled and he kept his eyes closed out of fear of having the tears escape them, and I hummed, resting my hands on his shoulders as I gently rubbed the skin of his neck in an attempt to soothe him.

“I love you just as much, Mingi.”

And he smiled, pressing his warm lips against mine with the unspoken promise that this would last forever, that this was what we both had been searching for. Safety, contentment, honesty, friendship, and freedom, a love that was honest and unafraid. It seemed like our future was rather promising, next to him, I could take on anything. We won’t forget to look at the moon tonight.

I love you, Song Mingi.

A/N: So, hello once again, I am so-so grateful if you made it 'til the end. I cannot believe I'm actually finished with this story and it's a really bittersweet feeling actually, because I am as happy as sad, no joke I kinda cried a little bit. I absolutely love the character and personality I have created for Mingi in this story and I love MC and his dynamic so much, that I find it so freaking hard to let go of them omg, what's happening to me?!

I just really really want to thank everyone who stuck around from start to finish, or from the middle of the story, or showed up as we neared the end of it, I am so so grateful to you all for being patient with me and showering me with love and making me look forward to posting. I was always so excited about a new chapter because I wanted it to be the best, and when I felt like it wasn't, you reassured me that it was and it made me really happy.

I started this story nine months ago, back on the 15th of December, which is funnily enough my sister's birthday so now I will never forget the date I posted it lol, and I find it so freaking crazy that this whole story came from a random brainstorming with my best friend in my car (@orshii), right as we finished our classes at university, brains fried off and ready to end everything, and yet, here I am, trying not to cry again ffs because of how much I grew to love every character in the story.

A little insight: the story at first started out as a random plot that was somewhat similar to 10 Things I Hate About You (which is one of my favorite movies) as Mingi was inspired by Patrick's character and our MC by Kat's, but as time went on, the story and our characters became their own and thus this is how Love Me Like A Rockstar was created. Back at that time I was also obsessed with this song, which played a part in the story becoming a rockstar!au beside Mingi acting like a whole ass rockstar during Crazy Form era lol, and even the title is inspired by the censored version of the song.

I think I made this note already too long, so I'll try to wrap it up. I really want to thank absolutely everyone who reads the whole story, to my loyal readers who were here for every chapter and for all of your thoughts and theories and for making me smile, really. Those who stumbled upon this when it's already finished, I hope you enjoyed each chapter and had fun exploring the world I created (this applies to those too who stuck around while it was still on-going) and I always appreciate your feedback, it's never too late! Thank you everyone, and I hope to see you back for my other stories! <3

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[kawaoneechan]

Project Special K, my "maybe this will be an Animal Crossing some day" thing that I mainly use to learn C++ has a Starbound-inspired asset system, much like many other things I made. As such, it works in much the same way:

On startup it takes a list of asset sources, sorts them by priority (I haven't added dependency graphs yet) and enumerates all the files in these assets. It then spends more time populating various databases from these files, like which items, species, and villagers there are.

That's it lol it's single-player only for now.

Even though I've written a function to forget certain files' existence in the asset system, there's a catch. Imagine two asset sources contain a file with the same relative path, let's say "foo.json", and they're different in content. During enumeration, the first file is put on the list, marked as coming from the first asset source. Some entries later, the second file is found and takes the first one's spot in the list, marking it as coming from the later source.

If I were to call ForgetVFS("foo.json"), I would not magically get the first version back. It was replaced, after all. That entry in the file list is removed, but it's the only entry listing "foo.json".

And that brings me back to the first PSK mockup screenshot that I made, the Content Filter screen.

Since PSK is beholden to the same limitations as SB that I literally just rambled about, clearly the content filter can't disable specific asset sources. It's all already loaded and processed after all.

But as the text in the mockup notes: "Unchecked species will never appear in your town as villagers. Any villager already there will remain." So if you uncheck the cranky personality and the hippopotamus species before first starting a game, no villagers of that personality and/or species will try to move in. But any cranky hippos already there will remain there until they're put in boxes.

This can be dynamic, in the middle of a running game. You could have a single cranky villager, disable that personality in the content filter, and no other cranky villagers will appear.

Or you could disable sea bass. Any bass already caught, stored in your inventory, in an aquarium on display in your house or the museum, or in storage, will still be there, but no more sea bass will spawn in the waters until you re-enable them.

That of course raises the question...

What happens when you remove an asset source whose contents are already used in your saved game?

My take? Since the saved game would refer to all of this by ID names that have to resolve to the actual things, it could fail gently. Items turn into fallback stuff (perfectly generic items as it were), and villagers whose IDs don't appear in the database, or whose species don't exist anymore, spontaneously move out, their houses replaced by cordoned-off "this space for sale" placeholders.

That was my take. But what's yours?

[bullet-prooflove]

All About You: Dean Archer x Reader (NSFW)

Tagging: @kmc1989 @mandy426 @helsinkibaby @hufflepuffgirl

Dean doesn’t do this. He doesn’t fuck in storage closets in the hospital where he works. He leaves that to med students who've seen too many reruns of Grey’s Anatomy. However right here, right now he just can’t help himself because it’s been a few days since he last saw his wife and he’s been needing to blow off a little steam.

Your hands are in his scrubs, bypassing his underwear, fingers wrapping around his hard cock. He’s leaking already, moaning into your mouth as your thumb spreads it across the tip of his dick.

Your lips take a detour, kissing a heated trail along his jaw until you find that spot, that deviant space just under the hinge of his jaw that makes him thrust into your hand as he says your name.

“Don’t you dare make me come in my pants...” He mutters, his words cut off as you bite down just a little, making his hips jump.

He feels your smile against his skin before you kiss lower, lips brushing over his neck, his chest, his collarbone before you sink to your knees in front of him, pulling his scrubs down along with you.

“That isn’t what I meant...” He tries to chide you but your lips are already enveloping his cock, your tongue teasing over the head causing his breath to hitch.

Christ you feel good, he’s almost forgotten what it’s like to be loved by you.

His fingers gently pull the hair tie from your hair, allowing it to fall across your features and something just clicks, you’re not the M.E anymore. You’re his wife, the one that he’s barely seen in almost a week.

You take him deeper as his fingers tangle in your hair, his head tipping back against the wall. He won’t last long, not after all this time apart. He can feel that tingle of ecstasy at the base of his spine as your palms come to rest on his hips, pinning them to the wall.

He will never admit it to anyone else but he loves when you force his pleasure, when you coax it out of him. It’s hard for him to get his head out of work, to forget the responsibility that comes with being Head of the E.D. This is the only way to do it sometimes, to remind him he’s Dean, not Doctor Archer.

“Sweetheart.” He warns you as the rapture tears through his synapses like an IED, stealing away every inch of his sanity.

All he can focus on is you in that moment, the hot, tight sensation of your mouth as he spills his release down your throat. He tries to catch his breath as you draw away, your hands lightly guiding his scrubs back up his hips before you tuck him back in.

“You’ve been stressed lately.” You say by way of explanation. “It’s not good for you.”

“You can just say that you missed me .” He says with a knowing look.

“I thought showing you was a better use of our very limited time together.” You tell him as his watch goes off, signifying the end of his break. He sighs as his hands come to rest on your waist drawing you against him. Your perfume floods his nervous system, the sensual scent of rosewater washing through his senses as he breathes you in.

“I wish I could return the favour.” He says regretfully, his fingertips teasing over the elastic of your own scrubs. “Because I really would like to.”

“I know.” You tell him, your palms coming to rest on his chest. “But…”

“Tonight.” He says, his forehead coming to rest upon yours as he clasps your hand to his heart. “I’ll grab takeout on the way home, run a bath, I can use that massage oil that you like…”

“That sounds like heaven.” You say and he can tell from the look in your eyes that he’s not the only one that needs a break. The past week has been gruelling for the both of you. He should have checked in more, he thinks, made himself more available.

“Tonight is gonna be all about you.” He promises as his watch goes off again, signalling he’s needed elsewhere. “I’ll make sure if it.”

[hermitw]

I caved and read ch. 271.... This is my jjk ending reaction post

SO WHO WAS THAT WITH TAKABA????

Yesterday I reread the last chapters, and the latest translation makes them sound less out of character. More based in reality. As well as other moments that can easily be explained within grounded reality (like Hiromi's arm not being fully healed - that makes sense. It was cut off with Sukuna's CT, and Higuruma JUST learned RCT in that moment. Even if he's on par with Gojo, who was up against Toji's cursed tool as the only curse... Sukuna's CE is so dense that Todo's technique couldn't even reach Choso - who is half curse, and within range - or Yuuji (which would make sense bc he and Sukuna are basically twins and Yuuji's been steeped in his CE). So maybe Hiromi could grow an arm back, but it isn't perfect, and it wasn't life-threatening. If Shoko had to prioritize her RCT, which is likely bc Rika was needed to heal Yuuta's body, then Hiromi's arm was on the back burner). And regarding the RikaBus - originally I imagined her insides, zipped open like her weapon storage we saw in the culling games, but to supply electricity to the TVs. Now, I think she might have eaten a part of Hajime Kashimo in order to do this. Idk man

But there are continuity errors and idiosyncraties. I still think the dream theory was valid - just like Yuuta/Gojo's domain's barrier was left floating around, I think Yuuji's shifted them into the curse rift between dreams and reality, but it wore off with time. His domain's focus on sightseeing and Sukuna's muscle memory of a barrierless domain (as well as Yuuji's in experience with domains, and barriers in general until his replacement training) make this more likely to project further.

This dreamlike effect could also be caused by the merger. A condition of it seems to be having absorbed Tengen - which Sukuna had to do, after Kenjaku. They were using Tengen to create / empower the merger, and this control was officially given to Megumi, as he was the vessel. Something interesting could have happened if Tengen had clung onto him as the most stable host, but their remains were found in Sukuna's. So... (depending on the language used, maybe some of Tengen is still in him and he has some power from it) it seems the merger is not going to be completed. But we don't know what the merger would really look like - even kenjaku with his thousand years of jujutsu knowledge and experience couldn't guess. So I think it's only fair to play into the dream stuff that he mentioned to Sasaki while working toward that.

So whether it was residue from Yuuji's domain (let's not forget that Kenjaku was actually pregnant with him, and he ate all those death painting wombs that had kenjaku's blood from another body, and blood connections are a thing especially when blood manipulation CT is involved), the merger, or a combination, the dream state is fading back to reality (but what does this mean for Takaba's partner??).

Actually - hear me out - during the time Tengen was out. Between the time when Sukuna left Megumi, and when Tengen's remains were placed at the barrier - were the dreamlike qualities limited to this era? I can read again and look for things but I'm not the most observant when it comes to those details. It might also take a short time to shift things back into place once Tengen is back to restore the barriers. So any input here is appreciated.

We did get enough closure on the merger (as much as I wish Sukuna got to fight it). while some people were already becoming cursed spirits, they're gathering in Tokyo. The katana and sumo otakus are there. And since cursed energy is directed at Tokyo to such an extent, it seems that our sorcerers get to have some fun, low-risk missions. Which is so sweet, I'm glad to see it.

And while we don't know whether the reincarnated sorcerers can be stripped from their vessels, it seems like they're going to try - I imagine this is in Gakuganji's hands, and not certain that it will work or even be attempted.

I'm interpreting the big eyes to mean that the sorcerers are still a bit like momotetsu characters, playing into jujutsu headquarters' game - but it's fleeting, it's going away. (for context, my momotaro folktale vs game analysis is here)

Ultimately I feel like. Insane and gaslighted that my theories which had a lot of foreshadowing (I thought anyway) haven't happened. (Gojo returning and the last panel shows him as sukuna's vessel) But they still could. Well, to some extent at least (rip sukuna idk if that one injured fingie could bring you back but you got your peace and I'm happy for you).

.... I still think that Geto and Gojo could come back. Geto might be back, idk. Maybe takaba just found someone who looked like him.... Maybe it was a temporary effect of the dream scatter.

I'm not desperate for them to, I'm not insisting that they would (I've always been in denial that Geto would stay dead lmao). But the TIMING of when we saw the sugar-creating CT, along w the fsct that GOJO was the one always eating sugar for his brain, had me convinced that he was going to return. I... Honestly suspect that he could be back, but taking a much-needed rest. Faking his death until he's ready to reveal himself. Not to mention the clock theories on Gojo and Sukuna returning.

But I don't need them to come back. I really did like the last chapter (though I rly thought takaba & Geto were behind the momotaro eyes smh).

Sukuna's afterlife scene - though we didn't see him visit the airport (I wish Gojo got to see true form sukuna, that's his wife). Sukuna had Uraume with him, and they were able to face Mahito in passing, and leave him behind. We see Sukuna engage in physical contact for the first time, outside of violence (the only consensual form he seemed to be granted in life).

The chapter still feels short like something is missing but, whatever. We got the first years' chaos, we got post-prison realm Gojo, also the curse victim's character design is so?? I love her.

So my unresolved questions are - who is with takaba?

And

Who is on the left behind sukuna?

Tldr: I've settled into the belief that Uraume transitioned during the Heian era, so that's who is behind Sukuna. (Gege confirmed they were amab, and part of their deal w kenjaku was to incarnate as a woman) I believe that Uraume discovered they'd still be nonbinary, in any body. Sukuna's trans but was out of touch with emotions and didn't rly explore it. I'll keep what I said earlier up, anyway.

But for how, I'm going with that being Uraume, showing their two paths. Afaik we only see Uraume with white hair during the Heian era - but on my 4th read, I'll be looking for this person.

It makes more sense to show one person's potential outcomes here than for it to be about Sukuna choosing one person or another. I can say with certainty that is not Yorozu (I doubt she ever wore clothing so properly).

The posture, hair etc. resembles Uraume more than anyone, I think. This is about their possible paths. The left one might be the role they took after Sukuna mummified, or maybe they could have grown taller if they didn't trade it for something in a pact, like seeing Sukuna again in the future.

Uraume might have had an older sibling. Choso's speech about little brothers benefiting from the older brother's path, either to follow the right path or to avoid the wrong one he takes, comes to mind. I always felt like that was out of place, the same way "Yuuta Okkotsu can't become the next Satoru Gojo" became relevant later.

Alternate take on this mystery panel in ch. 271 is that Sukuna could have transitioned. This post gave me the courage to actually post about it and ngl!! I think this is the answer.

Edit to add: this post points out the shinto connection to the left clothing.

The changes in art style, I realize now, were very intentional as well and I've been hoping they translate into the anime. It's all to evoke certain emotional, mental states in the reader, to match that of the story.

Damn I forgot to react to the colored page.... Tldr, it gave us closure on Ui Ui / Mei Mei, and Higuruma Hiromi could be my favorite surviving character. He's the next Geto and the next Gojo.

[mixelation]

on storage seals

one really Typical thing i feel fic protagonists who specialize in fuinjutsu do is a whole lot of pre-planning but sealing tons of objects into scrolls. but i get kind of annoyed with this trope when it's treated as some sort of obvious thing or Great Convenience that other characters don't get to have, but.... there's no reason given why everyone doesn't just do this? given everyone seems to have storage scrolls, why doesn't everyone just do what your fuinjutsu specialist does??

that's my approach to a lot of the weirder solutions i have my characters hit on, TBH. why doesn't everyone do this? if you can store bento boxes in a scroll to eat later (example i've seen more than once), surely everyone would do this. did you have to do something special to keep them in stasis so they don't go bad? if you can do it, why can't anyone else? even if it were very difficult to do, it seems useful enough older, genius characters would have figured it out and spread it. is the seal stupid complicated to draw? was this the culmination of thousands of hours of experimentation?

i just don't like "no one else has thought fo this" as reason when "no one else" includes generations of ninja, unless the author can very carefully sign post WHY their character has such a different way fo thinking from everyone else on earth.

all that being said tori has a lot of hangups over suddenly losing every single possession she owns one day, so i think she probably shoves a lot of things into seal storage, particularly the ones where you can key into a special dimension from anywhere (as opposed to everything being tied to a single scroll that could be lost of destroyed). i have to come up with limitations for it but i think an obvious one would be the fuinjutsu equivalent of forgetting your password

tori: great news everyone. i remembered how to open chapstick dimension.

tori: it's where i store all my chapstick so i can access it whenever. <3

tori: (puts all her new chapsticks in with old, only to forget her password the next time she goes more than a week without needing chapstick)

[goldfishontheceiling]

some random reboot headcanons because I just finished season 1 but you can clearly tell who my favorites are

Lauren/Scary Girl is so transfem demigirl to me and I can't explain why

Lauren showed Damien smile HD and/or cupcakes and now he's traumatized

Damien got into science from those grow your own crystal kits

I feel like he has a favorite word

Lauren got Damien a cactus and he named it after the shade of green it was

Raj taught Bowie how to ice skate

Raj has absolutely no storage space on his phone so Bowie's always the one taking photos

Wayne will tease Raj about literally anything but if he notices Raj getting upset he immediately stops

They play wrestle CONSTANTLY (and Bowie has to watch and make sure nobody breaks anything)

Wayne LOVES pies

He actually gets pie for his birthday more then he does cake

Bowie wears perfume (sometimes)

He eventually starts understanding Wayne and Raj's hockey lingo after hanging around them so much

He most definitely took Raj clothes shopping atleast once

Bowie got Raj a fidget slug and he fucking loves it and takes it everywhere

Wayne and Raj started collecting fidget toys after that

Axel keeps having this recurring dream where she cooks and eats her neighbor's cat (this started as an inside joke but I kinda see it)

She cuts her bangs herself

Chase livestreamed himself reading fanfictions about himself with Ripper and Zee (it ended with Chase curled up on the floor crying, Zee trying to comfort him, and Ripper going on a rant about why Andrew Tate isn't an alfalfa male)

Chase has been banned from multiple public places including but not limited to: Disneyland, Disneyworld, every Walmart in Canada, most Targets, about 5 McDonald's, and two malls

Chase has low empathy, while Emma has high empathy, which leads to a lot of disagreements

This mf is like the JayStation of Total Drama of course he makes 3am challenges and dark web videos (and of course has gotten canceled)

His parents most definitely said that "boys will be boys" bullshit

Zee most definitely likes the emperors new groove

Actually, he likes a lot of movies, but he sometimes forgets that he's watching them halfway through

Zee's a skater, and really well liked at the skate park he goes to

Everyone assumes he hates water because of how much he drinks soda, but he doesn't and says that soda is just "more his vibe"

Zee's absosexual and agender with all pronouns

When I tell you Emma has Chase blocked on EVERYTHING I mean EVERYTHING

She has slight anger issues (and trust issues)

Emma really likes sunsets

Ripper has dandruff and I can't explain what makes me think that I just do

He's also dyslexic because I said so

Priya's parents were friends with Sierra and were super jealous when she got on the show, which led to them falling out

Sierra actually recognized Priya for this reason, and got into contact with her after s1 ended

Sierra is basically Priya' crazy aunt

Priya ran away after s2 because she didn't want to face her parents after losing, and she moves in with either Millie or Sierra

Millie makes video essays where she just infodumps

Nichelle is so cupiromantic idk why

MK has been wearing that same beanie since they were 9

They had an emo phase in middle school

Also non-binary they/she/he MK is so real

Julia and MK have so much Twitter beef

Julia sold her crystals after s1 (Damien bought all of them)

If you recognize her in public she will RUN

Blaineley is her wine aunt and you can't tell me otherwise

and some random charts

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Inability

Hi there! I'm rereading Worth right now and caught the line "He extended his apologies to Arthur, of course, who waved him off as though nothing he could do would truly upset him���a generous statement, he knows, and he has no intentions of testing its boundaries." (beginning of chapter 3) and it left me with a thought: what if Leon does something that he fears would make the others incredibly upset and tries to hide away (all the while berating himself for being a coward and not accepting his punishment), only for them to find him and not get angry and are instead worried? Bonus points if the thing he perceives he did wrong is executive dysfunction/neurodivergency related – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: struggling with executive dysfunction, negative self-talk

Pairings: leon/arthur

Word Count: 3934

Out of the many things Leon believed himself to be, a coward was at the top of a very short and shameful list that he would never admit to anyone if pressed.

He is well aware of his reputation—how could he not be?—and yet he knows that there are many things that the other knights and nobles do not see, perhaps because they choose not to. There are things that they do not speak about, things they would rather forget, and most of the time, he is all too happy to let them. They do not speak of the times where he was but a young knight—not that there are very many left who remember that time—and stumbled over his sword, or got his cape caught in the wrong parts of his armor or stumbled into training with a bucket stuck over his head. They do not speak of the times where he flubbed his report to the King in front of the Council or mispronounced the names of visiting nobles.

They do not speak of the times where he was unable to complete even the most basic of tasks without needing to be constantly supervised like a disobedient mutt.

He likes to think he has gotten better at just about everything over the years. He knows how to wield his sword, speak to the nobles and the royals, complete his duties to such a high standard that there is never any doubt that he was capable of it.

But there is one thing that he has never gotten better at, and he will wear that shame as resolutely as he wears the rest of his armor.

Camelot's citadel is a great stone fortress, complete with a large number of bedchambers for company and constituents, a massive kitchen, three halls in which to hold court and conduct meetings, and a dozen specialty rooms complete with their own cohort of storage chambers. Atop the grand towers are the turrets, designed for defense and patrol alike, meant for soldiers and soldiers alone save for the times where the royals wish to walk the length of their halls. They have been fortunate enough that they have seen far more of the latter than the former in recent years and as such, the patrols are limited to the monthly observations and any maintenance checks that must be performed.

No one thinks to look for the First Knight of Camelot atop the crumbling stone tower, and so he is not the First Knight when he comes here. He is only a man, only a coward, and he may sit here and hide his aching hands and burning shame until he can summon his courage enough to slink back down with his tail no longer quite as firmly between his legs. He can sit and stare into the distance, imagine what it might be like to live without such shackles around his neck that he would become no better than a sniveling babe at the first reminder of his own inability to function. He can take his trembling hands and knit them together in the safety of his solitude, lift them to his shaking mouth and blow warm air over them as if that would ease the tremors in any way. In his truly weak moments, he can steal away with his cape and wrap it around himself as if it were a blanket, as if that would comfort his fleeting soul back into his body.

He does not know if there is a name for his…issues. He hasn't the fortitude to go to Gaius about it, not when the man who claims to be the best secret keeper in Camelot has an unfortunate habit of loudly scolding Merlin for things with the door wide open in the middle of the day. Nor can he stomach the idea of seeing the old man look at him with such pity, the idea of him muttering something to Arthur when his intentions are good but all that will accomplish is the same pity in the eyes of his fellow knights. No, he will suffer his wounds here and here alone, where he can trust himself to get it all out without the risk of someone else knowing how weak the First Knight truly is.

Where had it started? He does not know. He does not care to find it, for fear it would only make the shame worsen. Instead, when the tremors start and his body no longer feels as though it is his own, he retreats and huddles around the cold parts of himself with the vain hope to get them warm enough to suffer through the consequences before he falls apart completely. He cannot hope to fix himself, he knows, for he could no sooner do that than tell Elyan how best to repair a broken lance. Nor can he bear to suffer through trying to explain himself to ears that would never deign listen to something so pitiful.

"Yes, sire," he hears himself saying in front of a council meeting, his brothers standing either side of him, their capes the two sides of a bloody wound he tore in his own chest, "I am a man who cannot do things. For what reason, you ask? There is none. I am simply unable to do things at certain points in time. No, there is no cure. I can force myself to do it sometimes, but then I become paralyzed with the thought of all the things I must do that I simply am unable to do anything until I absolutely have to, and even then, I cannot always."

That would go about as well as trying to convince Uther Pendragon to legalize magic, and he has seen too many good men and women die at the hands of that beast—the King is dead, he can call the man that dared sully its crown a beast in the privacy of his own head—to dare hope for something nearly so favorable as a mere execution.

Selfishly, he sometimes wishes someone knew anyway. No one thinks of the First Knight as someone who would require comfort—save, perhaps, those who would seek to offer him 'comfort' in the way that every man deserves 'comfort'—but sometimes, oh, sometimes when the shame burns too hot for him to handle looking at his cape, he allows himself to dream.

Dream that there would be someone waiting for him in the high turret, someone with a soft voice and a gentle touch. Someone who would smile at him tenderly, open their arms to beckon him over. Someone who would bring something more forgiving to sit upon than the harsh and crumbling stone, someone who would fuss ever so gently that he was allowing himself to take refuge in a place so unforgiving in its scarcity. Someone who would see the way his hands flinched and trembled and say here, let me borrow this for a moment, who would take his shameful hand in theirs and coax it back to life. Someone who would run their fingertips over his palm, his knuckles, between the frightened twitches of his fingers and hold them tightly, whisper that there was nothing here to fear. Someone who would lift his hand to their lips and press kisses against his weathered skin, someone who would see him drowning and reach out to help him.

But even as his fingers outstretch in hope, they are only stung by the chilled breeze whipping about the top of the tower.

His is not a life of tenderness, his is not a story of forgiveness. His is a tragic tale of a knight with a shameful secret, one that will either wither in time or choke the life from him. And so he tends to his needs in the privacy of the abandoned turret and he will not ask for more. Not from anyone, not from himself, not from the world.

Some days, though…some days are harder than others.

He has failed to finish the lists of arriving champions for the tournament that begins in a fortnight. He has failed to inform someone else who would be capable of finishing that task. He has failed to do anything except sit in this drafty tower and nurse his aching hands and trembling lips in the cruel cold of the wind, because that is the sort of man the First Knight of Camelot is, and he wishes with all his heart that he were a better one.

He knows the consequences of his failure. He simply does not wish to suffer them, even though he knows they are deserved and he does not have any sort of exemption. He knows his absence has been noticed by now—Merlin is giving him quite the challenge for the most observant person in the castle, solely when it comes to the whereabouts of those he cares for.

(Now, when it comes to other things, Merlin is anything but observant, but Leon would never dare accuse the man of failing to care for those important to him.)

Perhaps in this he is being truly selfish, relying on his station to afford him some meager protection from the wrath that surely awaits him. But he is hurt, though his wounds are something even the meekest toddler would scoff at, and so he hides because that is what a coward does when they are hurting. He pulls his cloak tighter around himself, burying his nose in the red fabric, attempting to warm his hands as though the chill is what causes them to shake and tremble in this moment. His breath shakes but is warm. His fingers tremble but are grateful. The stone is rough and yet allows him to comport himself into its grain.

He would stay here, he would, but his is not a life meant for cowering. How unfortunate that he must remain here, then, until his body sees fit to allow him to move once more.

Arthur will have found out that he's missing by now. Perhaps he will be distracted too, what with the preparations, but as soon as he thinks it, he knows that is not true. Arthur Pendragon may be a great many things his father would both praise and disparage, but the one thing they most definitely have in common is lionhearted stubbornness. If there is something he does not like, he will do everything in his power to right it. And to Arthur, the boy turned man that Leon has never been prouder to claim as his brother, his prince, his King, there is nothing so unacceptable as someone he cares about going missing.

Perhaps he should make good his retreat now. So that he may have some hope of his hiding place remaining undiscovered. He can make up some excuse about attending to something else, about becoming waylaid, and that is why his duties are unfinished. Then he can retreat to his chambers to struggle through the last of the list and curl up in the too-fine sheets, wishing they were rough stone. Yes, that sounds like a most reasonable course of action—one of the few ideas he has had today that are not altogether unreasonable.

He's about to stand up to do such a thing, but his body roughly informs him that no, he is not in charge yet, he has to wait for it to decide it is willing to do things. Until then, he is stuck here, with shaking hands and shaking breath.

The wind is cold.

Footsteps.

He allows himself one moment of genuine, unadulterated panic, before he shoves that part of himself deep in a chest and locks it tight. With any luck, there will be time later to unpack it and swaddle it as though it were a babe, attempt to nurse himself back to some semblance of health, but now is not that time.

"Leon? Leon!"

Ah, he realizes with some mild hysteria, it is Arthur himself. He will not be so lucky as to get any time to prepare before he must face the King.

Indeed, not ten seconds later, the King himself bursts into the empty turret, his eyes landing on Leon's shameful pile of himself in the corner. His eyes widen and he hurries across the room, dropping to one knee and reaching out.

"Are you hurt? Did something happen? What's going on?" Leon scarcely has time to breathe before Arthur fiddles with the cloak and yanks the fabric away. He winces at the sting of the cold wind. "What happened?"

"I'm not hurt."

Arthur's mouth forms a hard line. "Now's not the time for pride, we can get Gaius, we can—"

"Please, sire—" oh, he is pleading already, this does not bode well— "I am not injured. I give you my word."

"Then what the hell are you doing up here? It's freezing and we have work to do."

"I know, sire."

Arthur stares at him. His hands awkwardly let go of the cloak and it hangs limply from Leon's slumped shoulders. He looks at him for a moment longer before cautiously touching his chest. Leon's eyes widen in surprise.

"You don't feel feverish," he mutters, "and you're not overly cold either."

"I'm not ill, sire."

"I've never heard you call me that so many times in a row. You're starting to sound like Merlin when I've pissed him off."

Even the reminder of Merlin's stubborn insistence on formality only when Arthur's done something incredibly wrong isn't enough to lift his spirits. Judging by the way Arthur shifts closer, he's realized that too.

"Hey," he says, voice suddenly quiet and careful in the way it only gets when he's trying to comfort someone, "what's going on? Are you alright? Did something happen?"

A lump swells in Leon's throat. How can he explain himself? After Arthur has taken such pains to care about him, to ask, to comfort, even, how can he repay that by revealing how much of a coward his First Knight is?

"I'm not going to be angry—okay, I won't promise that, but I'm—we can fix it. Whatever it is, we can fix it."

"You can't," his traitor of a tongue murmurs before he can think better of it.

"Why're you so sure?"

He sighs, then, his chest rattling. "Because it is not the sort of thing you fix, sire. It is the sort of thing you…ignore the best you can."

Arthur raises an eyebrow and glances around. "By hiding in an old abandoned turret?"

"If necessary, yes."

"Well, then tell me what it is?"

"You do not want that."

"I'm pretty sure I do."

"Sire—"

"Arthur," he corrects, a touch of steel in his voice even as the hand on his shoulder remains gentle, "call me Arthur. We are more than just King and knight, you know this. I'm not here as your King, not right now. I'm Arthur to you."

"…Arthur," he says warily, "this…this is not a burden you need to bear. As you have said, you need to do things, you need to see the preparations—"

"To hell with the preparations, we've thrown this tournament for years and everyone else already knows what to do. This—" and here he gives Leon's shoulder a shake— "is something that requires my attention now. You are suffering from something, now tell me what it is."

Leon just stares at him. Arthur is asking him what is wrong and he looks as though he genuinely cares about the answer.

"Hey," Arthur says when the silence stretches on a little too long for his liking, "it's alright. Nothing you say will leave this room if you don't want it to."

"It's shameful."

"That's alright. You've seen more than your fair share of my shameful deeds."

"It's…worse than those."

"Worse than me vomiting all over a visiting lady's dress? Worse than me tumbling out of the stable half-naked? Worse than me getting drunk at my father's speeches?"

"Yes."

"Well, I don't see how that's possible, but I don't know how else to convince you other than to say you might as well tell me, so we can argue about it."

It's more of an olive branch than he deserves. And yet, Arthur shows no sign of taking it back, and Leon is as weak for Arthur's demands as he is to his own failings, and so he bows his head and forces words to come out of his mouth.

Arthur is silent for a long time. Then, right as Leon is ready to wrap himself in the cloak and vanish from existence, there's a far too gentle hand on his cheek and a soft voice bidding him to look up.

"Leon," Arthur says, speaking softly, so softly, "don't hide something like this from me. You don't have to."

"I—do you not understand what I've just told you? I'm incapable of—"

"You are a person who struggles with something that is not your fault."

"How is this not my fault?"

"If your leg were broken, I would no more ask you to fight than I would force you to do something you couldn't do if your mind won't let you."

"But it's only in my head!"

"Yes, that would be where your mind is. Would you tell someone who struggled to breathe that it was only in their lungs? No, you wouldn't. Oh, come, now," Arthur soothes when he goes to pull away in distress, "I don't mean to tease. No, no—Leon, look at me."

He looks. Arthur takes his head in both hands, settles more securely on the floor, and brushes his hair back from his face.

"You are a man, first and foremost. That means that you will struggle with something at some point. In a truly awful way, I'm sort of relieved to figure out what it is you struggle with. Can't have you just being perfect all the time, now, can I?"

"I—perfect?"

Arthur chuckles. "Come now, you don't need to sound so surprised."

"I think I'm expressing a perfectly reasonable amount of surprise, thank you very much."

"You never sound so outraged when Gwaine's the one complimenting you."

"That's because Gwaine flirts with everyone."

"And I'm not allowed to flirt with you?"

Everything in Leon stutters to a glorious pause. Arthur, King Arthur Pendragon, is sitting with him on the floor of this wretched turret, cradling his face in his hands as though he were something precious, smiling softly at him, asking if he was allowed to flirt with him. After he'd discovered Leon hiding like a child and learned that he was so little of a man he couldn't do the most basic of tasks.

"You're the King," he hears himself say eventually, "you can flirt with whomever you wish."

"And if I wish to flirt with you?"

"I—uh—I don't—that is to say—"

"I'm being mean," he chuckles when Leon can only stammer, which—really, what is he supposed to say to that? "Forgive me. I only meant to say that—well, you aren't expected to be perfect all the time. And I'm hardly going to be upset if you're having difficulty with something."

"But it's important."

"What, your needs taken care of? Yes, I'm glad you agree."

"No, the—"

"No, that isn't important?"

"It isn't!" He squeezes his eyes shut as Arthur's cheeky expression fades into one of open concern. "I…forgive me for shouting."

"You've done nothing to warrant forgiveness, just talk to me."

"You're the King," he tries weakly, "it's improper."

"Yes, because I've cared so much for propriety after becoming King. Merlin's in charge of that, you know."

And yes, alright, Leon has to laugh at himself a little bit. Arthur has hardly enforced such rigid standards of formality amongst those he considers part of his inner circle, but still…to jest with him is one thing, to—to confide in him is another.

"I won't share your secrets," Arthur promises as though he could hear his thoughts, "I just want you to know that you can share them with me if you wish."

"…you must think me horrible."

"I could never."

"You could."

"Alright, perhaps in some ways it would be possible for me to think of you as horrible, but it's also possible for Merlin to decide not to be a sorcerer—oh, don't look at me like that, we've both known for years—"

"You mustn't hurt him—"

"Oh, please, I could no sooner do that than cut off my own arm. No, Leon—focus," he chides ever so gently, "the point is that you're not horrible, you're not shameful, you're not whatever your mind is attempting to convince you that you are. You are a person who struggles sometimes, and that's perfectly normal."

And Leon…doesn't know what to do.

Never in any of his selfish fantasies has he dared to hope that Arthur would react half as well as this to learning about his shortcomings, and yet…and yet…

"Oh, dear," Arthur murmurs, his thumb stroking across his cheek, "don't cry, Leon, it's alright. I'm not angry."

The dam has broken and the flood is unstoppable. Had he the mind to spare for it, he would be ashamed at how he falls apart, weeping into Arthur's chest as though he were nothing but a frightened babe, but Arthur is not cruel, he is not cold, he is warm and gentle and soothing words rain down atop his ears as strong hands pull him from the stone's rough embrace.

"Are these tears of relief? Is that what this is?" He nods frantically. "Alright, alright, that's…that's good. It's alright, you're safe, I'm not going to harm you."

He is only a man, he is only so brave. Arthur weathers his storm without complaint, offering the lightest of teases when he finally pulls away, wiping his tears and offering a handkerchief. He holds up a hand to stop Leon's blubbered apologies and thanks, shaking his head, and cupping the back of his neck once more.

"You have stood by my side for years and never once have you wavered. If I have not done all in my power to reassure you that I will stand by you just the same, then that is where I have failed and I will hear no more about it."

"A-Arthur—"

"Now, we are going to go back to my chambers, Merlin is going to bring us food, and the three of us are going to gossip about these knights that are coming to get their arses handed to them in two weeks."

"…a-alright."

"And, Leon?"

"Yes?"

Arthur gives him another look, then, a soft look that splits him as easily as any sword. "If you can, try to come to me next time. This tower is far too cold for you to be so alone."

He is the First Knight of Camelot, he obeys his King's commands.

[natsumiheart]

Ever since I met you.

…Hello world! Lmao

Hi, I'm Natsumi, and I'm wondering who is even reading this but if you are, welcome to a very long post about how I got into Tears of Themis, how it helped me through such a hard time, and how I ended up falling in love with a certain detective.

I made this post for an event on hoyolab but I’m posting it here too in my trashcan! I already wanted to have a post documenting this online just for myself, even if in the future I cringe while reading it, I can look back and remember the emotions I felt through the year. I also wanted to share it with the world so that maybe people will feel like me, or come to appreciate this character that I love so much as much as I do. (you’re free to reblog btw!)

Warning: This post is mostly about Luke!

It contains spoilers about some Luke cards and some spoilers for his Blossom Chapter. There are small scenes from episodes 2 and 5 of main story as well. Oh, and Artem and Luke 2nd anniversary cards.

If you are here because you’re interested in learning or reading more about Luke and do not care much for the rest, I recommend the interlude, part 6, and The end: part 1. The other parts also talk about Luke and his stories but those are the most important in my opinion.

Due to Tumblr’s 30 image per post limit, this will be divided into 3 parts, each part added with a reblog.

______________________________

Index because this post ended up incredibly long so here are the parts laid out to read anything you’re interested in!

> Part 1: Introduction

(How did I learn about this game?)

> Part 2: Contact

(Getting the game)

> Part 3: The Beginning

(Starting the game and first impressions lol)

> Part 4: Falling

(FOR LUKE AHAH)

> Interlude: Luke Pearce’s Fear

> Part 5: Obsession

(How and why did this obsession start?)

> Part 6: Reflection

(Thinking back on Luke’s personality that attracted me)

> The end: Memories

(Extra memorable moments)

______________________________

Part 1: Introduction

I play Genshin (shocker) and I have some online friends who play it as well, so when Tears of Themis came out globally since it's made by Hoyoverse as well, most people who played genshin went to check it out. I discovered Tears of Themis through those people, and I was recommended the game by my online friends.

What was my response?

“I have no phone storage.” AAHAHAH, yes. I'm not a day one player. I only started during the second anniversary because back when the game came out despite being interested I could not play because I did not have any device that could handle the game. My phone could not handle Genshin's size either, it's not compatible to begin with- I played Genshin on the PlayStation [emoji]

However I did not forget about the game, I was just hoping that somehow one day, a miracle will happen and I will be able to play mobile games like other people LOL but what are the odds of that happening?... Well, a miracle happened 2 years later.

Bonus: I had a little beef at the time with Artem because I kept thinking drawings of him were actually of Jumin who is a very well written character I love like crazy from mystic messenger since 2016 BWAHAHA

Every masterpiece.. has its cheap copy.. IM JKJK PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN AHAHA

______________________________

Part 2: Contact

So one day I was visiting my aunt's house and met my cousin's acquaintance. I met the guy for like.. only 2 hours and during those hours my cousin told him about how I draw digitally but I have been drawing on an 8 year old phone that stays alive for like 30 mins at a time AHHAHA

The guy was like “That's it, I'm getting you an iPad to draw on.” I laughed, thinking he was joking- but then 2 days later I received TWO iPads, one for me and one for my little sister! W t f. Angels do exist on earth? And I was never able to thank him in person because he's a busy guy who only visited my village and I never saw him again o.o

Can you guess what I started doing when I got it? Download a bunch of games I wanted to try throughout the years but couldn't! Among them was Tears of Themis. My house didn't have the best Internet and had a couple hours of electricity a day so I downloaded it very slowly at my aunt's house.

I remember so clearly about how I sat next to my sister as I was downloading the game, and it started playing the second anniversary promotion video since it was starting during that time. At first I was like “aww, they proposing!” but suddenly things turned spicy and I almost dropped the iPad from my hand HAHA.

I did not know what to expect going into this game because I stayed away from spoilers and videos about it since I knew I wanted to get into it myself one day (I was interested in the main story). It made me sad too to be honest because I wanted to play it but couldn't, so I avoided it for years.

I however, did not expect at all that the game would get THAT spicy LMAO my sister noticed my reaction and she was like “What's up?” And I was like “you cannot see this” though she is older than the game’s age rating AHAHHA

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Part 3: The beginning

I was so excited getting into this game! When I started I was incredibly hooked to the main story, and at the time.. hear this.. I had a bias towards Artem because he looked like Jumin AHAHA

I was honestly more interested though in the main story than the boys, because the boys didn't make me feel much at the time- I do not have a “love at first sight” I never had that kind of experience for real life people or fictional people. (Anyone can experience it, and that's valid! It's just for me personally that never happens.)

After knowing characters and learning more about them, that's when sometimes- I fall in love with them as a character, they end up giving me so much happiness just seeing them, they give me comfort.. And they fill up my sketchbooks HAHA is this love romantic? Usually no, that's very rare!

I did not feel much for Artem (turns out the only thing he and Jumin have in common were their looks and being socially awkward, shocker-) but I had a little interest that led to me pulling for his second anniversary card when I started being able to wish. I lost- and got a standard Artem, but then I won and got his card LMAO you can get a lot of wishes starting off. However I was doing the stories of the standard SRs, along with the main story and someone.. someone was warming up a lot to my heart.

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Part 4: Falling

The boys were all very interesting and lovely characters! (The NPCs as well!!)

Artem, despite how he comes off at work, is actually just a shy guy who is bad at communication outside of work.

Vyn is actually a very interesting and well written character being very different than the rest of the cast due to his unique upbringing (honestly? His family feels like a cult, bro literally is running from a cult) and you learn more about his own psychology the more you get to know him.

Marius is literally just an artist who wants to chase the life he wants but is hindered by responsibility and his position.

And Luke- Luke stole my heart LOL

First off, he's a detective and I've already confessed online to having a thing for detectives by a drawing- that starting since I was a kid and I watched detective conan🧍‍♀️his introduction chapter.. was very interesting. It was literally the first episode, Rosa clearly knows and cares about this character right off the bat you're like hmm? What was this guy doing for 8 years? Why did he show up now after so long? Almost making him suspicious even. But he and Rosa seemed so close despite it all.

After that Luke had started showing up in the story here and there, a moment that made me go “ohh.. what a cool guy.” Was when after Marius’ case in episode 2, he shows up on a bike like “get in we outta here” and saved her from all the reporters.

His theme plays at this scene.. my heartttt

Revealing he'd been watching her and the case from afar and was literally waiting for her to get out and get her away.

I started reading the standard SRs, the first one I did was “Among the great blue” which honestly I recommend everyone doing again because I bet you all do not remember Luke saying this about Jellyfish

The card made me go *the rock eyebrow raise* GAHAH and at the time I was all innocent, not knowing anything about what Luke was going through, so when Rosa woke up and did not find him sleeping next to her (after she invaded where he's supposed to be sleeping lmao) and Luke was hunched over like “I'm fine I just accidentally swallowed gum lol” I actually believed him 💀 there were signs, but it would fly over a player's head until things are revealed ON THE FIRST FREAKING ACT OF HIS PERSONAL STORY and suddenly everything makes sense. Wow.

When I started personal story, I was just starting it because starting all of them is part of the “Rookie tasks” event you get when you start the game. Only to be punched in the gut immediately.

This is LITERALLY what you’re greeted with when you start his story 💀

I was starting to warm up to this guy and you're telling me.. he's sick and planning to leave us.. omg.

I got to choose one limited SR from the Rookie event, and I thought Luke looked adorable so I picked his card "A star in the palm" and the story.. omg that card, I'm weak. Everyone needs to see it, READ IT!

It’s illegal to be BOTH handsome and adorable smh

After that I started WANTING to do more Luke stories so I did the other standard SRs “Radiant Sunlight”, “Timely Rescue”, “Inner Sanctum”. They were all so good, my favorite being Inner Sanctum for how much it messed with my heart.

Dude is literally falling and he STILL makes sure to protect her.

I- was dying. I started pulling for Luke's anniversary card, starting to regret my choice going for Artem's. But he wouldn't come-

So I went back to main story because that's how you get the most schips, and guess what- I had reached episode 5…

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Interlude: Luke Pearce’s Fear

The way episode 5 starts, Luke joins the NXX and Rosa is incredibly surprised seeing him there introducing himself as an agent from the NSB. Meanwhile Luke… is mad.

At first he can't believe Artem would even make her do this but she confirms to him that it was her decision, and then he spills the truth about his identity, and about where he's been the past 8 years. He apologizes, for lying, for planning to leave her again, for everything.

And then this happens.

You guys, this scene made me go straight up insane. You can tell how much he had cared and loved her for all these years, and how his biggest fear is literally the main character getting hurt or something happening to her. I felt so emotional over it, that after this act I started DESPERATELY pulling for his card and I finally- finally got it

Episode 5 BTW is one of my favorites in the main story, it is 3 parts because it's THAT good. It's when people will start seeing what Luke is as a character, what's beneath the surface you see in episode 1. (Also this episode introduced the best character: Hugh Moss AHAHH)

The parallel between Rosa, and Jasmine (the reporter whose case you investigate), was not lost on me. That reporter died trying to expose the truth which is exactly what Rosa has been trying to do. I think the entire chapter literally is showing you why Luke is so scared of her continuing the path she's in.

But you know what's the best part? He's freaking terrified, yet he never forces her to leave. He says this:

People keep saying Luke is a red flag that keeps trying to control Rosa and her actions and I swear my reaction is always “Are you even paying attention?” Luke never forces Rosa, he only shows he's against it, but he always says he will support her whatever decision she makes.

A similar more light-hearted situation is the story of his summer card “Iridescent Heartbeat” where Luke is afraid of Rosa getting hurt or doing things that are too much for her so he doesn't consider doing things such as Bungee jumping or rafting. But Rosa insists that she wants to do it and when she's visibly afraid later, Luke teases her a bit (LOL)

but then holds her close to him and soothes her saying there's nothing to be afraid of cause he's there.

He encourages her to do what she wants! And when she does indeed get hurt because the rope was too tight around her leg, he does NOT put the blame on her, but on himself-

Y'ALL HOW IS THIS GUY CONTROLLING??

(The scene after kinda got on my nerves cause Rosa got “angry” that he’s not his usual “cheerful self” like girl I love you but please- can’t you see how much you getting hurt affects him? She pretends that she’s angrier than she actually is making Luke apologize over and over like 💀 but tbh it was also funny, I don’t like how she handled it but it was funny lol)

When they go rafting Luke lets Rosa take the lead and he will follow her because she wanted to prove to him that he doesn't need to plan everything, however Rosa's plan backfires, things go horribly wrong and she can't figure out how to get the raft to go straight. Luke again, does not reprimand her in any way and only helps her so she can do what she wants. Later on even after they've fallen off the raft and onto the water he immediately holds her and takes her up to the surface so worried like “are you okay???” And despite all that, he says she's right. That she's always right and he will stop trying to plan and go more with the flow. 

Luke never tried to control Rosa, he just loves her so much that he does not want to ever see her in pain or sad. He wants her to be the happiest girl in the world.

So who is Luke? Luke is the coolest mf, a guy that always jumps into action to help others with a heart so damn big that his own emotions slowly destroy him. He has felt an astronomical amount of guilt and regret since childhood- and has cared for and loved the main character just as long. The girl who is the reason he was able to keep his sanity, the girl who he always wanted to protect, and the girl who is the reason he is still here today. 

I wholeheartedly believe that without Rosa in his life, Luke would've ended up completely different, if still alive at all.

Bonus: I remember people being like, the characters have gemstones that match their color in the proposal ring, so why does Luke have Ruby instead of something like Topaz? This is why.. the ruby in the ring represents Rosa (getting emotional over here omg) and honestly that ring is freaking insane because not only did he design and make it and its box by himself for years.. but a ruby is inside the key that Rosa gave to him.

Remember how Luke when you click on the key in visit says “I wear it like this to have it as close as possible to my heart” now look at the key.. if the Ruby is Rosa, and Luke’s heart is the key, do you see what he conveyed in that ring? Yea, I’m crying too. 

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Part 5: Obsession

I have a bit of an obsession problem, I've been obsessed with stories, games, or characters and that obsession can last years of my lifetime. And it's understandable, when you're going through terrible things in your life, you get attached to what makes you feel happy and you hold on to that feeling. That's what starts that obsession.

When I got the second anniversary Artem card I did the story immediately and it was.. it was alright. Artem wants to propose, but in his attempt to keep it all secret distances himself too much and gets Rosa worried, but then wow! He proposes with the help of his coworkers and happy ending + things get a bit spicy at the end. 

But I felt like.. like I'm getting deja vu AHAHA like I've seen this kind of story a million times before. (Probably cause I did from watching a bunch of kdramas and having consumed a bunch of stories from a lot of media) It did not exactly get me to feel anything much, I'm sure it's different for Artem stans though having him propose after probably following his story for 2 years XD good on you guys have fun with your mans! 

For me though who had just started, it did not have that much of an effect. After I got the Luke anniversary card I was excited and went into the story oh so innocently not knowing back then that Luke cards are honestly heart wrenching. 

It led to me crying in bed while the sun was rising from the window as Luke says “That's because I love you.”

The way how he blocks the wind from her and lets it hit him instead at that exact moment is freaking PEAK writing.

That card showed me a lot more about this man who is so shackled by his own emotions and circumstance, that he's willing to sacrifice everything even his own wants and dreams for the one he loves.

Have you guys seen that one official art with Rosa posing as Themis? And the boys are represented by the objects around her? Luke is the sword, Artem is the balance, Vyn is the blindfold, and Marius is the snake by her leg.

It starts to make sense why Luke is holding onto her sword to the point of bleeding, he's bleeding yet he looks up to her in absolute devotion not caring for what happens to him and his eyes are only always on her. He’s willing to be her sword, to take all of the pain and protect her so she can be happy.

My life.. has not been what is considered “normal”. I'm not going to give my backstory in this post aHAHAH but at the time when I started Tears of Themis I was going through a very bad point in my life where I was close to have given up completely on my future and accepted my fate as it is. I had shut down completely, and I went back to becoming a shut-in which is honestly something I went through for four years before, it wasn't good. 

When you reach that point, you start becoming apathetic to everything.

Luke however, somehow started making me start having emotions again. Reading and learning about this character was actually affecting me in a way I have not been affected in a long time. He felt.. real, like I could feel his emotions, his love, his despair.

And that's part of why I got so attached to him and he became my comfort, because of him, I started to feel human again.

AHA CRINGE. OK enough with the sadness.

But I'll never forget how much Luke and Tears of Themis helped me keep a grip during those hard months. I'm in a better place now, it's not good- but it's better, and I still just open this game and visit Luke to help me ground myself.

One time after a bad day I accidentally touched him and he said this, I went insane-

I think that says a lot about the state of my sanity AHAHAH 

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[To be continued in reblog]

[tadc-confessions]

Okay, okay, okay, a theory

Since this is a digital world, it has the same limitations as an old PC, right?

what if every character has a limited storage of things they can retain in terms of memory, thats why they can't recall their past life, its way too much information for the simple game to storage and instead it traps them with only the basic info to let them work as a human "should", i.e personalities; and that basic information goes into their designs.

What if the more they learn about the world the less stable they become? but the limit is so abyssmal nobody can actually reach it, unless they can and that leads to abstraction

Maybe thats why Kinger is so far gone, all his core information is slowly being replaced by new code, its erasing who he is and used to be

HOLD UP

If it’s vise versa to what most think is canon, the more you know the more you go crazy,

i’ve seen theories of people saying ‘if they keep knowing less and try not to learn, or vise versa, they’re more likely to abstract’

guys… i think we made a break through..

the more you learn could be filling up too many folders of core memories in the characters heads, the more they learn about the game, the less they know about themselves. ultimately ending up in them because the eye monster from doors (what’s its name? 😭)

if the more they know fills up too much, but there isn’t a limit. their breaking point is more likely them forgetting who they are.

or like anon said, the limit is abstracting which seems actually really reasonable which kind of shows how complex everything in the digital world actually is.

or we’re all just insane and gooseworx made it something so simple that we wouldn’t figure it out (i hope not)

[delta-orionis]

Some of my assorted theories and headcanons about iterators:

In no particular order:

I think that overseers are all part of one large iterator organ rather than discrete individuals.

A microscopic, thread-like structure similar to mycelium can be found all throughout an iterator's surrounding complex. It spreads through tiny gaps in soil, rock, and metal. All the threads are connected directly to an iterator like a nervous system that extends far outside their cans.

Overseers are a bit like the fruiting bodies of a fungus; they're able to emerge from this network of threads via small holes in surfaces. Similar to nerve endings, they can collect stimuli about the outside world, and send signals down the threads similar to the way nerve impulses move down a nerve.

The majority of overseers are found on the outside of an iterator's can and in the surrounding area, becoming less common farther away. However, with some effort, an iterator can extend this network beyond the normal limits of their complex (seen in the fact that Seven Red Suns is able to send an overseer all the way over to Five Pebbles and Look's to the Moon's complex in order to follow Spearmaster).

Iterators have many more pearls than the ones seen in their puppet chambers.

I personally think data pearls are analogous to files on a computer, or maybe USB drives, which move data between systems. Given the fact that iterators are capable of running many different processes at once, it makes sense to assume that they have much more storage for data than the pearls that can be found in their chambers.

The majority of pearls an iterator uses are probably stored somewhere inaccessible in the game. However, the Light Yellow pearl can be found in Looks to the Moon's Memory Conflux, suggesting that pearls are used in that area as well. I believe iterators are able to access the data stored on pearls in their memory conflux without needing to bring them into their puppet chamber. If you bring the Light Yellow pearl to Moon, she remarks that it contains her personal notes, but suddenly forgets what they are about, and then asks you to put the pearl back where you found it. This suggests to me that moving the pearl from its intended location prevents Moon from accessing those memories.

Iterators are probably able to move pearls around the interior of their cans, most likely through the use of purposed organisms. These organisms can sort through pearls in storage and carry them from one location to another. I'm not sure what they look like, but I'm going to call them Couriers. They might be a distant relative of slugcats, albeit much more specialized. They might have appendages similar to a slugcat's arms for sorting through pearl caches, and are capable of storing pearls in their stomachs for transport. Couriers might move through a system of pipes and can deliver pearls directly to and from an iterator's puppet chamber. Kind of like getting your mail via pneumatic tube. Fwoop.

The pearls in an iterator's puppet chamber are likely there because they are actively using the information stored on it for some process, or they are altering the data stored on it. Pearls might be an equivalent to non-volatile computer memory (such as in a hard drive), used for long-term storage. Perhaps the data stored in pearls can only be altered by an iterator's puppet, so if they need to change something, the pearl needs to be transported to their chamber.

I also think that iterator puppets are analogous to a computer's I/O devices.

When you use a computer, you use a mouse and keyboard, and look at information on a screen. However, the actual computing takes place in the computer's processors. If you unplug the mouse, keyboard, and monitor from a computer, it can still compute just fine, but you as a user lose the ability to interact meaningfully with the data stored within. These peripherals are called Input/Output (or I/O) devices.

Similarly, an iterator is much more than their puppet; both their biological and mechanical processes are carried out in the larger superstructure as well as the outside area surrounding it. However, if their creators want to be able to utilize these processes, they need something to interact with: an I/O device. Similar to how a computer monitor turns ones and zeroes into pixels on a screen, iterator puppets communicate via body language and speech. Puppets can also observe and interpret things in their chamber, like how a keyboard and mouse interpret inputs from a user into information the computer can use.

Iterator puppets aren't perfectly analogous to a computer screen, however. I think the puppets (and the rooms surrounding the puppet chamber) also function similarly to a human brain, which is the most important part of the central nervous system. Obviously humans are much more than their brains, but they also can't function without them.

The rooms surrounding Moon's chamber are called the "Neural Terminus", which supports this theory. The analogous rooms in Five Pebbles are called the "General Systems Bus"; in computers the System Bus connects the major parts of a computer, allowing the CPU, memory, and I/O devices to communicate with each other. This supports the theory that puppets also function as I/O devices. The Neural Terminus and General Systems Bus serve very similar functions, but their different names probably reflect the differences in Five Pebbles' and Moon's construction. (Note: in Rivulet's campaign when Pebbles is overtaken with Rot, the General Systems Bus is replaced with the Primary Cortex, which sounds a lot more similar to Moon's Neural Terminus. I personally think that the General Systems Bus and Primary Cortex are next to or near each other in Pebbles' superstructure, but the Primary Cortex is inaccessible in earlier campaigns, and the General Systems Bus is blocked off by rot in Rivulet's campaign. They likely serve similar purposes.)

The music heard in the General Systems Bus/Neural Terminus is diegetic and reflects an iterator's thoughts and state of mind.

I made a post earlier about how Random Gods, the theme heard in Five Pebbles' General Systems Bus, is the sound of Five Pebbles performing a sorting algorithm. I was mostly joking, but I do think that theory holds some weight.

I've seen people theorize before that Random Gods is literally the sound of Five Pebbles thinking, and I really like that idea. It makes sense that you would hear it in the General Systems Bus, which is basically his brain. Similarly, Reflection of the Moon, which plays in Moon's Neural Terminus, is also the sound of Moon's thoughts.

Random Gods is cacophonous and frenetic, which I think reflects Pebbles' obsessive nature. Reflection of the Moon, on the other hand, is much more melodic, which I think represents how Moon is much more levelheaded. However, the sound of a ticking clock can also be heard, which I think represents the fear Moon feels about her imminent collapse. After she collapses, Reflection of the Moon becomes Moondown, which I also think is diegetic. It reflect's Moon's severely damaged state and her inability to function or think like she was able to before.

I think every iterator has a unique theme that plays in their General Systems Bus (or the equivalent), which reflects their personality, thoughts, and state of mind.

My iterator oc, Three Stars Above Clouds, was built primarily to collect astronomical data, and they spend most of their time sifting through this data and analyzing it. Because of this, I think their analogue to Random Gods would be fast paced but repetitive, representing their ability to process a lot of data at once, and performing repetitive analyses on it extremely quickly.

I heard the song "The Dream Is Always The Same" by Tangerine Dream recently, and I think it captures the feeling I was thinking about. TSAC's Random Gods equivalent probably sounds very similar to this, with repetitive synths as they access files over and over and over.

(I listened to the entire album earlier and honestly I think the whole thing is pretty iteratorcore, listen to it if you like retro synths that evoke what a computer thinking would sound like.)

.... that's probably enough thoughts for one post. I could go on. I really like thinking about iterators and how they work, Rain World does a very good job of establishing them as enormous, complex, thinking, and breathing machines. I'll probably post more thoughts at some point.

[tf-cyberaligned]

I guess that the Cybertronian artifact not only expanded their human lives but also their storage brain capacity. What do I mean? Not to be mean or say that your Cyber-continuity doesn't have sense. Like, NO, IS AWSOME AND I CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE. I'm just a dumb person who likes to search for things that catch my attention and made me want to ramble... sorry.

But if you wanna take this into consideration when the thing with the relic happens and you want to explain something, I'll leave you with this. No need to listen actually.

The complexity of longevity with humans lies in the inability of organists to withstand the burdens of operating for more than a couple hundred two hundred years, basically, joints would eventually begin to break down under their own weight and stress, that's why we turn into dust when we die, but of course, lest remember that this is a Cyberpunk dystopia so fortunately, robotic organs will be the next fashion heat!!

But is it possible to replace all the various parts of a body?

Unfortunately no, there are limits, and those limits lay in our brains!! A human being is capable of storing around 100 terabytes of memory, or, what are the same, 100,000 gigabytes of memory, experiences, knowledge, etc. All of them are embedded in our heads thanks to the aforementioned neurons. It may seem like a huge number but eventually, likely in 300 years, a human brain would be full of memories, information, and all kind of stuff, making a person unable to put two words together, feel disoriented, as if you had a "brain fog." Having trouble finding things that could be in front of you. Feeling very confused, taking longer to process new information, or having trouble understanding things. Difficulty making decisions or analyzing things... etc. Let us also not forget about diseases that deteriorate the brain, neurodegenerative diseases, that make this process painfully faster.

Is an incredible concept for horror. But like I said, this is just me doing research on a topic that I just got focused on because I need to stress myself.

hi

I am glad you asked this, cause I did not realize this about the human brain!

Old lore is in italics and is not 100% anymore

For the body

How they stay the same age looks wise is because their bodies are essentially put into a stasis-like state. So their joints don't wear down, their organs don't fail, and and things like cancer don't really grow. The only things that do seem to change is their blood cells and keratin in their body, so their hair and nails still grow. This is all based around Cybertronian anatomy.

The artifact was created by Cybertronians, who when creating it used Cybertronian anatomy as a basis. Now, human and Cybertronian anatomy are different, but hold many similarities. The relic had targeted the organs and parts of the human body that were shared in similarity with Cybertronians.

Things such as brains, circulatory system, eyes, muscles, bones, skin, and digestive system are all examples of similarities between the two species. The relic effected these organs, making them similar to how Cybertronian organs are. This means that the blood will still regenerate, they still have to eat, and they will still mentally age. However, things that are not comparable to Cybertronian anatomy were effected differently.

The relic had no clue how to handle things like hair, nails, lungs, reproductive systems, and other organs such as spleens and kidneys. There was no translation of these organs to Cybertronian organs, so the relic just didn't do much with them. Inner organs were put into stasis, still functioning but they were only effected due to being in proximity to other comparable organs. Hair and nails just weren't really messed with by the relic.

However that can have some big drawbacks. Their skin does not grow back to form scabs and scars, which can lead to wounds continuing to bleed. Their blood is able to clot cause in blood there are red blood cells and white blood cells. The white blood cells have something known as a platelet, which creates the blood clots. Since their bodies are no longer able to regenerate their skin, skin grafting surgery is required for large wounds.

Obviously, with several of the characters, this is not an option they are able to take. Miko for example got an acid poured on her face during a recon mission, and skin grafting would not have fixed this. That is why she has a metal plating around her head. Jack's chest also has metal plating after getting an injury across his chest. Most of the small scars you see on our human characters either came before the beam blasted them, or were the result of donor skin grafting. Kade's burn scar for instance is one of the injuries that is received before the beam hits the group.

Now for the brain issue

In Cyberpunk Edgerunners, which is one of my many inspirations, we are introduced to these ports in the skin.

These ports as seen in EP 2 "Like a Boy", David and Lucy are seen stealing a technology known as Datashards from Corpo people. These Datashards can contain anything from money, information, photos, videos, schematics, etc.

It's basically a glorified SD card.

We are also introduced to Deep Dive Tech. This kind of technology is connected to the occipital lobe to allow for high amounts of data transfer between minds or mind and technology. This is highly dangerous and requires trained professionals to operate.

So what does this mean for my continuity?

Both of these heavily inspired what I plan to do for the brain situation.

These brain ports are connected to the occipital lobe just the Deep Dive Tech. Memories are able to be copied, downloaded, transferred, and even deleted. This allows for the operator, Raf majority of the time, to be able to extract the memories not needed for everyday life from the rest of Team Prime and the Rescue Team. Miko even asked for him to delete the memory she had of getting half of her face melted off, which is perfectly understandable in that situation.

The memories that are extracted are able to be returned to the person as well. Kade for instance had his memories of Hailey copied and extracted, put onto a hard drive specifically for those exact memories. Hailey was not one of the people hit by the beam, leading to Kade losing her by her dying of old age. He had his memories of her extracted so that he wasn't constantly reminded that she was gone, but he could also redownload those memories when he needed to.

So that's my idea for fixing the memory capacity issue! Yes it's very sci fi bullshit, but that's the fun part of cyberpunk universes.

[browzerhistory]

Please do share your scav social behavior headcanons!!!!

OK OK OK i have a Lot so prepare for an Essay beneath the cut

my social headcanons and biology headcanons kind of go hand in hand so i'll be expounding a bit on both in this (and there will probably be things i forget and then add later)...

the first thing i guess is scav biology - i think they're buglike creatures who lack the ability for complex vocal sounds (no 'traditional' mouthparts, limited vocal chords) and instead are mostly visual communicators, which is why their body language in-game is so exaggerated. scavenger dens (which are technically just creature dens in-game but shh) are usually complicated underground structures with different "rooms" for grub care, food/weapon/pearl storage, etc.

yes, you read that right - i refer to baby scavengers as grubs! i think a scavenger's life cycle tends to follow an egg -> grub (like a cicada or fly) -> pupa -> adult cycle. eggs are laid and grubs fed/watched over in special chambers in scavenger dens, and juveniles don't emerge until they've pupated, which is why we never see baby scavs in-game.

many factors such as what they're fed, how many other grubs there are, and even the temperature of the den can effect how a scavenger turns out, but it's generally common knowledge that a grub given special care and food will be more likely to become an elite scavenger, which have physiological differences to normal scavengers. generally, however, all grubs are treated the same due to lack of resources.

scavengers are lifelong carnivores, however, grubs need very small, soft meats to eat, such as vulture grubs. adult scavengers may also just... repeatedly hit lizard meat with rocks to 'tenderize' it if food is scarce.

young/newly-emerged scavengers tend to be more nervous, energetic, and non-dominant due to being less experienced than their older peers. they're also more likely to throw rocks at sudden threats than spears, either because they aren't confident with spears yet or because they haven't figured out how to distinguish between "sound of scary things" and "sound of friend approaching".

a scavenger's antlers and other distinctive facial features are more like horns than antlers, as they grow slowly over time and do not shed. older scavs with longer/tougher antlers tend to be pack leaders (this is reflected in the in-game personality traits changing the way antlers/beards look). there are, of course, exceptions, but these are general trends across the whole population.

elite scavengers, like i said earlier, are different than a normal scav on a physical level. the most obvious are the down turned antlers, which sometimes require filing, and the ability to jump short distances. less obvious, however, are factors like strength and lifespan - elite scavs tend to live shorter lives than normal ones (whether that's from actual biological differences or just the constant fighting is up for debate lol).

when created intentionally (which is almost every time), an elite scavenger is raised to protect the tribe it roams with. extra food, more powerful weapons, etc. are given from pupation so the elite grows up tough.

the masks elites wear are vulture masks. the first time a new elite takes down a vulture, it's demasked, then the mask is carved specially to denote their prowess - think of it like a badge of honor. however, constant usage of the mask and the general anxiety of being the first line of defence can cause elites to lose some vision, which is why older ones tend to be quicker to draw their spear at an unknown sound.

(as for the chieftain... it's biologically just an elite, but it got lucky in that it was born into the most thriving scav population at the time and had the most talent/dedication out of its peers. plus a lot of the others got picked off as it got older, and it managed to pick up a citizen id drone at some point.)

the "sign language" scavs use is so universal and simple as to be practically genetic. there are, of course, regional differences, and a tribe in shaded citadel would need different predator signs than one in farm arrays, but the basics (which is what we see in-game) are basically all the same. scavengers can make noise, however, it's a quiet sort of chittering sound produced by rubbing mouthparts together in a specific way. it's not very handy when communicating something like "there are vultures here let's leave immediately" and more often is used in familial/trusting contexts, sort of like a purr.

jumping around a little, i wanna talk about the significance of pearls. a part of their fascination with them is "cool shiny thing" but there's also significant sort-of-religious connotations to them.

the scavenger chieftain has a mark of communication and a citizen id drone. it met with pebbles (or another iterator but more than likely pebbles) at some point, and he deemed it important enough to talk to instead of just. y'know. killing it. so it comes back to its home in metropolis telling stories about meeting a god (because of course 5P gives his 'godlike in comparison' bit to every bug that enters his chamber) surrounded by a halo of these pearls.

eventually pebbles gets fed up with the visits, and the booming population of scavengers is basically peeling him, so one day he throws the chieftain out of his chamber and tells it to take the scavs and leave (which it doesn't/can't obviously). and then along comes artificer and um. Well You Know.

it brings some more pearls as an offering of sorts and 5P reads what's on them. that gives the scavs the realization that (as far as they know) every pearl in the city has the words of ancient gods written on it. so they start hanging them everywhere as catch-all divine charms; for protection, strength, wealth, etc. and since the chieftain is the only one who can get to pebbles and come back (because of their drone) it's treated as a sort of prophet and venerated by the rest. colored pearls, which 5P likes more and usually keeps with him, are stored in safer locations and considered the most valuable/holy.

after arti commits good old-fashioned regicide (and general mass murder, terrorism, etc) the remaining metropolis scavs flee across the land and warn other tribes of a reddish slugcat with one scarred eye - this is why hunter's rep starts so low.

this turned out really long lol - thanks so much for asking! i really need to get all of this stuff organized in one place at some point but here's the basics/what i've thought about most.

[drarryloadingdot3]

drarry loading…

Hello to anyone reading this!

This Drarry themed blog was created by me a few days ago, in a fit of both inspiration and desperation 🫶

• ~•~ •

To start off with a little something about me! You can call me Dorothea, which is my Tumblr name! (Nicknames such as Dot and Dee are okay!)

I am a minor, under the age of 18 and 14+. That’s all you really need to know, for now 😁 I use she/her pronouns, and I’m LGBTQIA+ and proud of it. If you have issues with that, why are you even here, reading the intro post of a Drarry themed blog?

… get out of here, queerphobes 😘

Okay, so! I recently made myself an account on Archive of our own, more commonly known as ✨Ao3✨, in the hopes of starting to post my own works on there. I have countless ideas already and have had them for a while now. They’re stored safely in the mess which is my forgetful brain, and a few of them also in my Notes app (I bet they all take up about half of my storage by now, haha 😅).

Earlier, I have had no way of posting them anywhere, since I am not allowed any form of social media 😬 No, I’m technically not allowed not Tumblr either, and not Ao3 (aren’t strict parents just so lovely?)

But I’m extremely tired of having my creativity limited because of this, so you know what? I’ve decided I don’t really care anymore! 😜

And here I am now, planning a huge project… I don’t know if I’ll ever achieve this dream, but I am willing to try my best. If you are willing to follow me on that journey, stay tuned and bear with me! 👇🏻

What I have in mind is a Drarry fanfiction, a story playing out post-war in Draco and Harry’s eighth year at Hogwarts. What I like most about my idea is that it has loads of plot, not just fluff and smut for the sake of the relationship working out. No, this story will be more than that, and I’m so excited at the thought of sharing it with other people! 🥰

I am quite torn on a few points at the moment. I am so afraid of forgetting about this whole idea, which would be devastating to say the least, because I have huge parts of the story already planned out in my head! But I’m also scared that if I share too much details this early on in the process, people might steal a bit or perhaps all of my theories to use for their own fanfics. As for now, I really want to write this thing myself, but if I can’t manage to do so I might request someone else to write it for me in the future. Hm, well, that’s a question for another day. If I suddenly lose all motivation 🤷‍♀️

There are a lot of flaws in this plan, just so y’all know. I need to figure out where to write my story (my storage is full as it is… 😬👍), and I need to properly figure Ao3 out. I need to make sure people find this blog, so to anyone who reads this, please reblog to share with others! I am often struggling with motivation to write, to do pretty much anything. I go to school and also have singing lessons and band practice many days of the week. So yeah, my schedule is pretty full. I have no idea how I’ll manage to find the time to write my fic, and I also don’t know what might happen to my account or even my access to a phone. Writing this fic will be risky, I will lose motivation and take long breaks, probably, I will need to find time to write where there is none… ugh, it’ll be tricky, to say the least.

What I need most of all from whoever is ready to follow me on this journey, is lots and lots of patience. There might be days where I yap and you don’t want to read, there might be months where you don’t hear from me at all. But please know I’m trying ☺️ And if anyone has any writing tips to share, especially tips on how to take time to write, how to layout a writing schedule and how to not lose motivation, feel free to share whenever! Thank you in advance 🙏

I don’t know, this fic and this blog might be a shot in the dark… I’m praying that someone will see this and gain interest.

Here’s a poll for you! I will give it one week. If the poll below shows positive responses and gets many votes, I might even share a few snippets of my writing in a near future! Just so you all know exactly what it is you’re signing up for… if my past teachers and my mother are to trust, my writing is actually not that bad 🙃

If I’m happy with the responses I get from this poll, I will share some of my writing and also make new polls! I will share more about what my fic idea is about, and soon enough I will actually begin my project!

[thedalatribune]

© Paolo Dala

The Soul Of The Craft: Negatives

...from film’s first plummet in the 2000s, to its resilient return in the early 2010s, to its rediscovery by yet another new generation of shooters in the 2020s.

But in this latest renaissance - born of Covid-era lockdowns - Cohen has noticed one of the practice’s most precious components has been lost.

“They don’t pick up their negatives,” Cohen said of his customers, guessing that maybe 10 percent of them return for the rolls. Behind him, a colleague corrects him: “Five percent.” Another, laughing: “Zero percent.”

Across the world, the small cadre of commercial film lab developers describe similar conundrums: stacks of forgotten envelopes, limited storage space and warring impulses - to tidy the clutter, or preserve the creative souls of forgetful photographers. After all, it’s the strips of film, not the prints, that are legally the artist’s original work.

Put simply: Whoever has the negatives has the mechanism to reproduce the work but not the copyright to do so; the artist sans negatives has the right but not the means.

It’s a concept that has been battered in the age of digital cameras, then left for dead with the advent of iPhones. Dinosaurs of the photography game, negatives are the original images that are burned into frames when film loaded into an analog camera is exposed to light. They once were the primary deliverable when processing a roll of film.

In the digital age, most shops where people get their film developed will scan the negatives into a computer and just email the photographs to their customers.

“Negatives would’ve never been forgotten before, because people had to pick up the digital copy,” said Richard Damery, a developer who has worked at Aperture Printing in London for 15 years. “They can now have everything uploaded to them. They forget about the negatives.”

It can be hard for some to imagine (or remember) a time when a photograph involved more steps than just the instant gratification of looking down at a screen.

That’s especially true for much of Gen Z, the driving force behind the contemporary film resurgence. The industry has boomed in the years since the pandemic, and not just with upmarket brands like Leica; the classic Fujifilm disposables are back, too. For many young shooters, the anticipation and delayed payoff of film are a welcome salve to the 24/7 exposure of apps like Instagram...

Andreas Olesen, a professional photographer and co-owner of a lab in Copenhagen, said he still struggles to throw out people’s negatives even long after they’ve been abandoned. For him, they’re the soul of the craft.

“The negative is the score, and the print is the performance,” he said, paraphrasing the photographer Ansel Adams. Olesen has played with the concept in his own work; one of his projects, “Estate,” used a series of negatives his wife discovered in an antique shop to tell the story of a midcentury family holiday.

The forfeiture of negatives is far more consequential phenomenon than clerical clutter. It’s at the heart of unresolved questions about copyright and artistic ownership.

The likelihood that any passing film hobbyist will posthumously be elevated as the street shooter of a generation - well, it’s small odds. But perhaps it’s less about potential fame than creative diligence. After all, Olesen noted, there’s something timeless about negatives. In 50 years, his grandchildren may not even be able to access a hard drive or a CD with digital files.

Ali Watkins The Lost Art of the Negative

[deimosbreakfrost]

"Compared to the world class dishes I make, a dish that tastes "yummy" would still be considered shit... In fact, even comparing them is out of the question! Comparing MY dishes to this lowly peasant food, how rude! I'm just saying, if you guys ate my food, you wouldn't be able to control yourself. Well, let's just say your jaw wouldn't be the only thing that drops! In fact, your panties would drop, too! Like the black thong Miss Peko is wearing, for example!"

"Mmhmhm, I may be a pervert, but I'm the kind of pervert everybody likes!"

"No matter how clean this place gets...stuff is still bound to go missing in an old building, right?"

"Well, of course you can't stop. These are the world's tastiest party dishes, after all. No matter how full you feel, you can't help but continue eating such exquisite delicacies... That is what I cook, the world's tastiest dishes!"

"Jeez...I've decided that there's no way I'll ever be able to live the crude, country bumpkin life."

"Well, it's not like I actually believe it, but...if there really is a killer out there... Ugaaah! I'll probably never be able to forgive that killer!"

"But walking down that dark hallway to the storage room is like trying to make eggs benedict without any eggs!"

"I wanted to make sure that I still have a place to call home!"

"I think I'm the one...who went crazy."

Panic Talk Action Remarks:

"I WON'T FORGIVE YOU!" (Voice: “Unforgivable!”)

"Shaddup!" (Shut up)

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"P-PARIS HILTON!"

"NONSENSE!"

"RAAAAAGH!"

"HMPHHHHH!"

"I dunno, I dunno, I dunno!"

"Where would the weapon be!"

Chapter 5:

"******|anj63t&%&%&mama&:[+ --- what7732happenedHanamu%%raDinner)" (Teruteru's cottage post-fifth trial)

Free Time Events:

"Mmhmhm...what a ridiculous question. Why would you kill the possibilities of your ingredients by limiting yourself to a specialty? Well, if you say so... I don't know if it's right to say all cooking is creative... Chefs have the right to be called "chefs" because they create dishes. It'd be simple for a true chef to create something from nothing!"

"Well, if you ever decide to cook, you should know some simple advice! They say there's a fine line between cooking and screwing!"

"Jeez...it's obvious they're just exploiting their youth to make a quick buck! So what if they make a hundred million annually or whatever...? That much money doesn't mean a thing... That's right! Money isn't everything! You gotta think about the big picture! They think they're so great earning more money than me!

"Hajime...you poor thing. From the bottom of my heart, I feel so bad for you. You've never seen the sparkle released by quality ingredients... The countless miracles... The sexy shimmer of a fish's eye! The seductive shine of oil dripping from the meat's fat! Fresh, ripe vegetables with their smooth limbs... Ahhh...just thinking about them makes my loins quiver!"

"It's okay if I make an obviously cliched meat and potato stew with no fun flavors at all, right? I think it's a perfect dish for you, since you sort of look like a potato yourself."

"I see...so you're the cautious type. Personally, I completely understand your smart way of living... But life and cooking need adventure sometimes! Now then, can I hear your answer one more time?"

"Just because a dish is gorgeous and uses first-rate ingredients doesn't mean everyone will like it. Tastes change depending on likes and dislikes...feelings and emotions...memories and perception... It depends on each person to determine what they believe is tasty... I didn't really want...the sparkling city-life or my stunning success... I just...I just wanted to cook for someone important to me. My cooking was just...for the sake of making the person most important to me...smile... Why did I forget something as important as this...?"