#Like it's not even a question
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ennieasys · 24 days ago
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i love the bit when one person comes out as trans and their partner is just like
"does this mean I'm not gay/lesbian/straight anymore??"
It is hilarious and I just love when their love for this person trancends gender identity. Because they love THEM you know?
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astro-b-o-y-d · 10 months ago
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I love how near everyone seems to agree that Bill would play Minecraft in creative mode and creative mode only.
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sapphire-weapon · 1 year ago
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I'm the anon who ripped on the Damnation outfit, but hear me out for a second. Face and hair wise, it's one of his best designs and it's because I think he looks like shit (which I'm sure was NOT what they were going for).
Leon looks not only miserable, but like he hasn't properly showered or groomed in a while, at least in a few days but that ironically WORKED and it worked brilliantly.
Damnation had an idea for Leon, even though it couldn't be fully fleshed out. It's the first time we see him jaded (listen, Degeneration does not count), drinking on the job and sick to absolute shit with the higher ups. It's the first real look into a spiral. They couldn't fully explore this and it unfortunately got a little knocked out of place due to (just my opinion) the shoehorned Aeon content and no longer being handled in an interesting way in RE6, but all of that is irrelevant. Greasy ass, tired Leon is what they accidentally made and it was perfect.
dude leon was on benzos in degeneration, that's why that movie is Like That. that's my headcanon and i'm sticking to it. post-RE4 he actually tried the whole therapy and meds thing, got dangerously close to becoming addicted to his ativan, and then dropped it after degen LMAO
but no i have said repeatedly that i think damnation has some of the best ideas in it. that movie is unironically great and would still hold up as the best RE CGI movie if only leon wasn't so fucking annoying in it. if his personality in damnation was more like his personality in RE6, that movie would be fucking S-tier.
and i do sincerely think that damnation was the point of reference that capcom used to resuscitate and reboot his character following their RE6 post-mortem. not in terms of his actual character voice and spoken lines, but in terms of the anger and survivor's guilt he has in that movie and his complete and total disillusionment with the government and how his job leads him to drink.
like
ALL OF THAT in modern-day leon started in damnation.
and i've said this before too, but damnation also has the best dynamic between leon and ada in OG period. the whole "lol coyly insinuate we had sex off screen" shit was cringe, but in terms of their actual dynamic and how they play off of each other, ESPECIALLY in the lab, is genuinely enjoyable -- because damnation allowed ada to, at least somewhat, do her own thing and just sort of crash into leon accidentally instead of entangling herself in his bullshit.
like there is a LOT of good stuff in damnation
but like
ok after leon kicked his prescrip for benzos he then went through a coke phase, and that's what damnation is
like look me in the face and tell me leon isn't coked up in that movie
HE'S FUCKING COKED THE FUCK UP IN THAT MOVIE
fucking catch leon snorting lines off of a licker's corpse in damnation bc he's lost control of his life and doesn't gaf anymore
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everythingwasnormalhere · 8 months ago
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pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual
im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out
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starbuck · 1 year ago
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i say i like tragedies and everyone’s all like ‘why do you like sad stories? are you depressed?’ and never ‘how was the catharsis? was the catharsis fun?’
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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 9 months ago
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historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman
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wardensantoineandevka · 9 months ago
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is that piece of media actually bad, or is it just not following the blueprint you projected onto it? is that work actually not good, or are you just demanding something from it that is absolutely antithetical to its themes, genre, tone, and narrative goal? is that story actually poorly written, or do you just dislike that it is not the specific things you wanted from it that it never set out to be, never was, and never is going to become? is it actually bad, or is it actually well-executed and you just dislike the story it chose to be because it isn't catering to your specific desires and expectations?
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i-dont-watch-movies-or-tv · 3 months ago
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I feel like the age of having a "burner email" is gone. Out of curiosity,
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gutsby · 2 months ago
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Stiff
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Pairing: Old!Joel x Reader
Summary: At fifty-nine, Joel isn’t sure his dick can keep up with every day it’s going to take to get you pregnant. He seeks help from Jackson’s local apothecary and gets more than bargained for when that little blue pill kicks in.
Or, your old man wants to knock you up. Viagra helps.
Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v (obviously 😵‍💫🤙🏼). Breeding kink. Age gap. Peepaw Joel. Blue Pill Joel. Post-apocalyptic-Viagra-dosage-gone-horribly-wrong-and-now-his-dick-won’t-deflate-for-a-day…but it’s OK!
Note: This is the crackfic counterpart/sequel to ‘Make It Stick’
Word count: 2.9k
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Forty-five minutes.
Forty-five minutes until his fate was sealed for the night. His pulse would quicken. His head would start to swim, and any last sliver of rational thought would be lost to the ether or the cold, snowy air around him. Joel Miller had to hurry now, because that bite-sized blue pill he’d just taken was in his belly, and if his dick didn’t find its way in you, he was fucked. Or at least huge and swollen and leaking out beads of hot desire the size of golf balls.
Well, maybe that was just his cock.
Joel looked down, scanning his pants.
Yeah…definitely just cock. He walked faster.
At home, he knew he’d find you curled up on the couch, nose in a book. What to Expect When You’re Expecting, if he had to guess. Then, sure enough, you’d lift your eyes and smile—‘Thank goodness you’re back, daddy’—and lift the hem of your night dress just slightly. Spread your legs and beckon him in. It was a nightly routine by now.
You wanted to be knocked up as fast as possible, after all
At almost sixty years old, Joel couldn’t believe he was actually saying these words aloud. But here he was—crawling overtop you on the couch, situating himself between your legs, and pulling his cock out, mumbling:
“Gonna let me put a baby in you tonight?”
You nodded sweetly—eagerly—every time.
Joel knew he could never resist that look. He was as good as finished the first second you let him sink inside your tight, weeping hole, and when he stretched it, he could already tell this was all he would ever want to do. Make you happy, fill you up, give you lots and lots of him.
It was why he’d stopped by the apothecary tonight. Why he’d hesitated only a moment before clearing his throat and asking for a pill like Viagra—Joel knew that the man behind the counter would flash him a wry, knowing grin.
Trouble keepin’ up with that sweet young thing’a yours?
David was a dick.
He wasn’t entirely wrong, either.
Ever since agreeing to start trying for a baby, Joel had become acutely aware of his own physical limitations in that department, and one of them was stamina. He could scarcely fuck twice in the same night without needing a long and rest-intensive breather. You were young and could roll over ready to go in five minutes.
It wasn’t fair to deprive you now on account of his age.
If you wanted his cum, you were getting it, no question.
Not just once, but multiple times. Again and again and—
“Again,” Joel grunted once he’d shot off his last spurt.
Fifty-eight minutes had passed since he’d taken that pill. It had fully kicked in, and his dick was still hard, even after finishing inside you with a sticky, white-hot flood.
You blinked dreamily up at him.
“You mean it, old man?” you teased him lightly.
I’ll show you what I mean, Joel thought to himself before flipping you over on the sofa. He had your hips tilted up and his cock driving back inside your freshly-fucked cunt in no time at all. He felt his spend coating your walls; it let him glide right in. Joel groaned and jerked himself back out, then fucked back in again and again and again.
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“Again?”
Your word was exhaled in a laugh.
You stood in front of the bathroom sink, trying to tidy up the insides of your legs and push some more of Joel’s load back in, when you felt a presence at your back.
Stabbing your ass.
You started to turn then, puzzled.
“Bend over,” Joel commanded before you could.
You did as you were told because, frankly, you loved getting fucked wherever your old man wanted it—even if he had broken the sink one time he’d pounded you here.
But there was palpable confusion, too. How in the hell had Joel Miller, certified silver fox and owner of a dick old enough to remember Woodstock and the moon landing, managed to get his dick hard in the five minutes since he’d had you face-down, ass-up on the couch?
Or had his dick gotten soft at all?
You wanted to question him about it, or else give a long, hard look at his uncharacteristically long, hard friend, when the next moment had you gripping the counter. Stretching between the legs as Joel pushed back in.
“There she is,” he murmured affectionately.
Really, you’d never been wetter. Or warmer. Or filled to the brim with more sticky-white spend than you could ever hope to hold inside, it felt like. You bent at the waist and let him have his fill. You closed your eyes and rested your head on your forearms while Joel’s hot, bulbous tip grazed your cervix with dizzying alacrity. A smile crept in.
Whatever this was, you wanted more of it.
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His dick was still hard.
Four mind-numbing fucks and another forty-five minutes later, Joel’s cock hadn’t deflated the tiniest bit.
The thing had hammered you so thoroughly he’d nearly destroyed the sink again. You’d whimpered, and whined, and warned him quietly, ‘We just fixed the porcelain, baby,’ and right before he’d painted your walls with his seed, you’d cum for him practically shrieking. Shaking.
Letting him turn you around for a kiss, only to mumble against his mouth with a sleepy, cockdrunk sort of lilt:
“I think you gave me twins.”
Then he’d fucked you in the shower to make it triplets.
Now you were laying out on the bed, truly spent, eyes following him in the semi-darkness of your bedroom after you’d toweled off and collapsed among the pillows.
“What’s gotten into you tonight, Miller?” you breathed.
Joel made it over to the dresser, back turned to you. He rifled through a drawer looking for something extra tight.
“Just missed you is all,” he said, shrugging.
What he needed right now was fabric that was very thick to hide the boner he was sporting. Joel could tell from the way you spoke that you were too tired for round five, and he didn’t want you feeling like you had to go again.
He would be fine.
His dick might not deflate until dawn, but that was okay.
“Wish you missed me like this every day,” you giggled.
When Joel turned around, he was shocked to find you sprawled out on the bed—hands between your legs.
There was a shy smile on your face.
“Baby…” he trailed off, watching your fingers flit through that sticky mess where he’d left it. Where you glistened.
Where you slid your index and middle fingers up and down your slit and drew circles on your clit, eyes shining.
“What? I missed you too,” you said, tone all faux protest.
You had no idea what you did to him when you talked like that. Especially when he was drowning in a state like this.
Hard as a rock.
Throbbing.
Needy.
Scarcely even knowing what he was doing, Joel found himself over by the foot of the bed in a second. Watching your every move with a wild, wipe-open stare he still couldn’t believe you found appealing. He swallowed.
He not only looked perverted, but he felt it, too. It rarely ever left his mind, save for the four or five seconds he spent in ecstasy emptying the contents of his balls inside your cunt, that he was his age, and you were yours. That perhaps the rest of Jackson was right, and he was wrong: he had no business being around a girl like you, much less getting off inside you every night. Was this really what you wanted? A bewildering mixture of guilt, lust, and love all circulated through his skull at that moment, and the longer he spent looking at your fingers, ogling the way you teased them through his cum between your legs, the more he felt certain he was bad.
No one corrupted a thing this sweet and got to call themselves good, anyway, he thought to himself idly.
“I keep gettin’ that…feelin’,” you said under your breath.
Joel’s hand tightened in a fist, and it was then that he realized it was wrapped around his cock. Still watching.
“Yeah, baby? What feelin’?” he returned, almost as quiet.
Still stroking himself up and down, up and down, softly.
You had your legs spread open—knees splayed wider than they’d been before. And your eyes had a tender, placid sheen to them, like they just might cry if they didn’t get release of some kind soon. Then you slowed.
Your touch slipped from your clit to the opaque, sticky globs between your thighs, and that look got even softer.
More desperate.
“Can’t…explain it.” You shook your head, as if pained, and then you sank two fingers inside. Joel could hear the tiny schlick from where he stood, and it almost did him in.
You sucked in a breath and added, “It’s a special feelin’.”
Joel’s fist had already worked its way up to a ridiculous speed. Again, he sensed this might be the worst and most pathetic he’d ever looked, but by the glint in your eyes and the way you kept holding him there, he also knew you weren’t asking him to stop, either. You were needing something else—something he could provide.
Thanks to that one stupid pill.
Joel’s smile was strained as he gripped the edge of the bed, like he was trying to assuage you and him at once.
“Try me, baby. Tell me ‘bout that special feelin’.”
Your middle and ring fingers disappeared inside you.
You whined, “Ain’t fair to say it now. You’re tired, daddy.”
Like hell he was. Joel crawled over the footboard and made his way straight to you, where your body was limp.
His breaths were coming in so fast and his pulse was thrumming so hard that he almost couldn’t hear himself talking. But he ventured to speak as gently as he could.
“I’m wide awake, sweet pea. I’m all ears. Talk to me.”
And if his words didn’t communicate as much, surely the look in his eyes would’ve told you all the rest. Quietly, he slipped his torso between your legs, where you’d inserted a third finger and were moving your hips again. You were fingering yourself, breathing shallow and quick.
“It’s a feelin’ like I wanna be…stuffed…a-and full’a you.”
Joel’s whole body could’ve liquified on the spot. His brain, presently, had all the consistency of a plate of scrambled eggs if he’d had to guess. Feeling his cock swell even bigger and his hips sink lower to yours of their own accord, he had only to grit his teeth and nod his head. He felt the tip of him bump your fingers, and the sensation and the expectation nearly drove him insane.
He mumbled quietly, “Then move your hand.”
You did. You winced again. You looked as though you might be ashamed for wanting him to fill you with his spend, and Joel simply wouldn’t allow that any longer.
Without saying another word, he slid back in.
Your cum and his facilitated the slide, and you opened right up for him. You whimpered, while Joel grunted like an animal. He couldn’t help it; it all felt so fucking primal.
How you could ever feel the need to apologize for wanting more of this was more than he could take.
“Every inch of me,” Joel said, rutting deeper, “is yours.”
He withdrew to the tip, and he could feel strings of arousal linking him to you in a sickeningly sweet way.
You could scarcely even nod, just waiting for him again.
When Joel plunged back in, he heard a feral little cry, and he felt your legs wrap around his waist. He went faster. You fisted the pillow behind your head in one hand, while the other laid flat on his chest, like you were checking for a heartbeat. You could probably hear it thudding a million miles per minute right now. Your hips collided in tandem.
“D— Daddy,” you whimpered.
“That’s it, open up for daddy. Good girl. It’s all yours.”
The sounds his thrusts were making were obscene.
“Every inch?” you breathed, “E-Every drop, too?”
“Every fiber of my fucking being, sweet girl.”
That made you smile, at length. Your hand slid from his chest, down his round belly, straight to a groin that was pounding hard and fast against your own. Joel groaned when he felt your touch sweep inside your legs—right in the space where his cum had come trickling out. You slid your fingers through that mess, then whimpered again.
Then you brought your hand up to your mouth.
You wrapped your lips around your cum-soaked fingers like they were the single sweetest thing, and you sucked.
Joel had no say after seeing that: he had to cum again.
It likely stunned you both—you more than him, by the look that crossed your eyes the second you felt him throb and pulse inside your cunt—but then it kept going.
Rather than stop, or slow down in the slightest, Joel found his hips pistoning faster than they had before. The whole bed frame shook, and your body trembled with every thrust, and the noises between your legs grew even louder; the sound of skin slapping skin was only amplified by the addition of Joel’s hot load in the mix.
The man was operating on impulse. You, through sheer awe and an animalistic need to have every crevice filled. You held him and you grit your teeth, and you let him keep using your body, while you used his. You kissed him.
“Go on, then—make me a daddy. Take my cum, baby,” Joel babbled, brainless, “Make your old man a daddy.”
He couldn’t tell if it were the words or the rhythm or the pleasure that had already been blossoming deep in your gut this whole time, but he felt you fall apart. You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist than you had all night, and you screamed his name. Begged for more.
“Cum in me, daddy—pleasepleaseplease just cum, ju—”
And there he went. Again. Flooding your insides with his warmth and letting his cock carve a wild, relentless path through your cunt like it was all the man knew how to do. He filled you up. He felt it leaking down his length with every stab of his hips, and frankly, he didn’t care what he looked like now. You were smiling big, drawing him in for more kisses as he panted and grunted and whimpered like he never had before. He kissed back. Slowed down.
Found himself lost in your mouth as your tongue wove delectably through his own and your hands made their way to his wild, greying hair. You tugged, and he moaned.
He fucked his spend deeper without even meaning to.
All instinct again, it seemed he couldn’t get enough.
Suddenly, he felt a new, strange urge bubble up.
“I-I-I took a pill tonight,” he blurted out, “Know how badly you want this baby, and I wanna give you one.”
Or two. Or twenty. He was barely capable of speech, let alone rational cognition, so he just spoke whatever came to his mind then, still snug inside your legs and panting.
“A pill?” you whispered back.
Joel’s gaze locked with yours.
He felt stupid for it all at once.
“Yeah. Yeah, I just— I know I’m gettin’ on in years, and I probably can’t fuck the way I used to. And you deserve someone who can…Maybe a guy your age, but that—”
“—is the single dumbest thing you have ever said to me,” you finished for him, eyes narrowing swiftly in a scowl.
When Joel tried talking again, you cut him off.
“I don’t care what any guy my age is doing, or could do. I want babies with you, and that includes every part, OK?”
Your look softened momentarily, seeing his lips twitch down—you could probably see he wasn’t believing you.
Then you cradled his face in your palms. You smiled. You brushed his nose with yours, and you kissed him again, and with what little strength you likely had left in your body, you dug your heels in his ass and pulled him deeper. Both of you let out soft, low grunts at the effort.
“If you fucked like this at twenty-five, my body wouldn’t have survived anyway,” you whispered in reassurance. Biting back a laugh as Joel smiled, too, “I like things just the way they are. Just like how I hope you like me, too.”
“No—I love you.” Joel shook his head, almost plaintive.
And for the first time that night, he felt himself soften.
Whether it was the pill wearing off or that first thread of vulnerability stretching out between your body and his, he didn’t really care. He kissed the tip of your nose and was about to say something more, when you cut back in.
“I love you more. And since we’re being honest tonight,” you started quietly, nipping at your bottom lip a second, “I might…need you back at the apothecary tomorrow.”
Joel’s face fell.
“Wh— is something wrong, baby?” His voice was tight.
He hated seeing David, but, of course, he’d go back there in a heartbeat if it meant getting you the medication you needed. His stomach was starting to churn, when you reached up to hold his face again. You shook your head.
“No, no, Joel, I’m fine. But I may need prenatal vitamins.”
Now his eyes were going wide. His cheeks heated under your palms, and his cock twitched inside you, reflexively.
“You mean…” he murmured, unable to finish. Swallowing.
Beneath him, he saw you smile and nod.
He nearly choked hearing what followed:
“I meant to tell you earlier, but…my period’s a little late.”
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bluerosefox · 2 months ago
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Protecting Family
Hmmm
I'm on a Danny is Dick's child kick rn so I'm making more.
But lets add in some Ghost King Danny!, Dad to a deaged Ellie and Dan! And toddler Mar'i Grayson.
Danny was conceived during Dick's amnesia year when he was Ric and the woman couldn't find him to tell him (or maybe the Owls caught wind of the pregnancy and took her) and he ended up somehow (hmmm maybe a meddling time keeper?) with the Fentons.
Danny grows as a Fenton, he knows he was adopted btw, then becomes Phantom, protects Amity, becomes the Ghost King and things seem to be going okay between Amity Parkers and the Infinite Realms since they took care of the GIW problem, AND has been a good doting teen dad to his deaged 'cousins/clones' turned kids.
Danny was going to go pick his kids up from daycare one day when CHAOS happens. Just as he wrangles Ellie onto his shoulders, cause she wants to be tall today, and about to take Dan's hand cause he's and I quote "A big boy and not a baby like Ellie, Dad!" he suddenly feels the tug of his family being in danger.
Thing is, its a blood related danger. Meaning someone blood related to him was in grave danger, and by the emotions he can feel, its someone young, way younger than him.
Problem.
The only people Danny knows with his blood in their veins and are young enough for the feeling are with him.
So who?
But due to Danny being a protector spirit AND knowing the feeling is from someone as young as his own kids, Danny decides to use his Ghost King Powers to summon said person from the danger to him.
Danny opens his free arms out just as a tiny toddler with black hair like his own but with bright green eyes, even the sclera were green, in a ruined party dress drops from the sky from the summoning circle that had opened above him.
Danny stares at the terrified child, whose hands are tied by rope and was crying, and takes notes of certain traits she had that he saw every time in the mirror or on his own kids, same eye shape and cheekbones. He can tell his ghost core has claimed her as family but not as his kid though.
No the connection that formed was almost like his connection with Jazz but a bit stronger.
This kid, was his sister. His blood related one.
-Meanwhile-
Dick Grayson, aka Nightwing, and his family were freaking the fuck out.
Dick was already panicked when his daughter Mar'i had gotten kidnapped just a few hours ago by the Joker.
Now he was feeling pure dread when his daughter, who was about to be killed, was suddenly pulled into a strange glowing circle at the last minute and disappeared into thin air.
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toastyyjams · 3 months ago
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they took my right to tell you myself. [mizu5]
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apollos-olives · 9 months ago
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before october 7th this blog was a meme page btw.
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night-orchids · 2 months ago
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the fact that you can see the exact moment tears appear in his eyes
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chloesimaginationthings · 6 months ago
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Is Michael Afton gay or European in FNAF?…
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cherryfennec · 7 months ago
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Summer Times
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Hi! I'm finally back from my two week abroad trip!
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venusaur-propaganda · 14 days ago
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Drawing Venusaur with every Pokemon pt. Trevenant
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