#Like imagine picking up a peanut butter jar and finding out it was originally used 10 years ago? that'd be so cool

[blackamite]

Random thought, but I think it’d be so cool if there was a standardized system for jars. Like if you think of it, peanut butter jars, jam jars, pickle jars... they’re all roughly the same shape and the sizes they come in are quite similar.

If we had a standard model for all the jars, even if just half of the relevant brands participated, the jars could be collected and reused really easily. You could turn the jar in for money at the store, and once there’s enough in circulation it wouldn’t cost the companies much at all. Plus, you could keep it as a nice mason jar. 

The one problem I can think of is that it wouldn’t look as flashy if all jarred products looked the same, but that’s what you have labels for tbh. (Also possible remaining smell, but if it’s glass I’m sure there’s a way to clean it effectively.)

[shurisneakers]

shut in [3]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, implied abuse, ptsd, fighting over beds

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: every part i introduce more anonymous characters smh. i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!! also if you want to be on the taglist, it’s mentioned at the bottom of the chapter.

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

“Don’t make me shoot you, Wilson.”

“It doesn’t have to end this way, agent.”

“How’s it looking out there?”

“There’s been some talk. Apparently Serpentine isn’t very happy that their intel is dead. They’ve got people looking out for you everywhere.”

A frown adorned your face. Sam was leaning forward on his arms, head turned down as he listened to Ransone.

“How dangerous is it?”

“I would say that everyone’s a little wound up. Best not to go anywhere even a little populated.”

“Noted.” It would blow over in a while. The media coverage of Pierce’s assassination would die down with the changing news cycle soon.

“I can have someone pick you up wherever you are. Just tell me where.” 

“Don’t bother. We won’t be here for too long,” you responded, Sam nodding in agreement. Once it quietened down you could leave, go back to Ransone without blowing your cover.

“Whatever makes you happy. Just let me know when you’re out.”

The click of the call ending took with it the only noise in the room.

Sam picked up the phone to remove the battery, discarding it to maintain your security. Burner phones were useful, but you didn’t want to take any chances.

“Wait,” you cut in, holding your hand out for it, “I need to make another call.”

The both of you were seated at the dining table. A piece of paper lay in front of you, playing the dangerous role of being the mediator. 

You were trying to ration out your supplies and create a schedule as a way of finding middle ground. Things were more or less calm for the last two days, but the fight over the bedroom was wading into territory that could only be solved by a good old middle school fistfight.

Currently you were figuring out a meal plan so that you could establish some kind of routine. With bread as the only uniting factor, the other three components were going on a rotation. You had reached all the way till Saturday before running out of possible combinations.

“I’m just saying-”

“Don’t.”

“We’ve exhausted all edible options, it’s the only combination left-”

“I will not hesitate to fatally wound you.” You were only half kidding. The ridiculousness of the ideas he was proposing was entertaining, and you knew he wasn’t being serious. It was hard to catch a moment where he was. 

“Fine. But in case we get to the point where peanut butter and jelly is the only thing that’s left, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.”

“I would rather die than shovel spoonfuls of plain jelly and peanut butter into my mouth.”

“Your survival game is weak,” he chided, tsk-tsking at you.

You only rolled your eyes at him, moving on to the next subject.

Bed.

“Easy, we just alternate days. You got the last two days, so I get the next two and then we just switch everyday.” Sam eased back in his chair, arms crossed behind his head leisurely.

“How long do you think we’ll be here?” you asked, writing down the plan he had just presented. The bed wasn’t queen sized with memory foam or any kind of privilege like that, but it definitely beat the couch with its odd lumps and depressions.

“A week tops. Anything more is just excessive.”

“Hello,” you said, voice low, even though you were well out of earshot of Sam. He was eying you from the living room window. If he was as good as he claimed he was, he’d know how to read lips and you couldn’t afford to have him do that.

“Code?”

You turned your back to the window, facing the large trees that loomed before you. “1993. It’s me.”

“Y/N?” He sounded suspicious, a little shocked, and you understood why he would be.

“Living and breathing.” You toed at a rock that lay ahead of you.

“Word on the street is that you’re dead,” he pointed out dryly.

“Not me; Pierce. I escaped. It was a trap.” When the rock you were playing around with escaped after a particularly hard kick, you started pacing up and down instead, “Ransone put a hit out on him because he thought he was leaking information.”

“How on earth did he come to that conclusion?”

“Don’t know. He was dead before we got there.”

“Who is ‘we’? You got someone there with you?” You didn’t realise it had slipped out during your conversation. 

“Another one of our guys. Apparently I was a backup in case he didn’t show up, but he did, so now we’re stuck together.” You averted your gaze to Sam who was still observing you from the window brazenly, intently. 

“Where are you?”

“We’re safe.” 

“Alright.” He sounded like he understood, albeit not entirely convinced. “Stay low.”

“Will do.”

With that you hung up the call, dropped the phone to the ground and crushed it under your boot heel. When you were convinced that it was sufficiently useless, you turned on your heel, making your way back.

You walked back into the house, beelining to the kitchen to make up for your missed lunch, only to be greeted with Sam sitting on the couch looking at you inquisitively.

“Who was that?”

“Nobody,” you answered straightforwardly, opening the cabinet to get two slices of bread.

“If it has somethin’ to do with this situation we’re in then I need to know who you’re talking to.”

“Just drop it. It has nothing to do with you.” You found the jar of peanut butter he had already opened, using a butter knife to spread it along the bread.

“Somehow I’m finding that hard to believe.”

“Believe what you must. I’m going to take a nap,” you answered evasively, chewing absentmindedly on the sandwich you had just made. You didn’t bother to look at him as you headed towards the bedroom.

“Hey now, hold on a minute. Who said you had bedroom privileges? You’ve been using it for two days.” You stopped in your tracks, face scrunching in annoyance. “If you’re keeping vital information about my life from me, then I think I deserve to not have a fuckin’ backache when I wake up in the morning.”

You quickly weighed the pros and cons in your head, imagining how the next few minutes would pan out if you just said ‘no’ and left. But in every imaginary argument you proposed, the bottom line ended with him prodding at you until he either got the information that he wanted or the bed.

Frankly, the bed was something you were willing to sacrifice to get him to stop meddling in your business. It seemed like the only reasonable way to get him off your ass.

“Fine.” You spun around to face him. “We’re making an arrangement.”

“Whoever has the bed has to forfeit TV privileges for that day.”

“Sounds reasonable. None of those three movies can be played more than twice in a row.”

That was more to preserve your sanity than anything. You had already seen each of them once, bordering on thrice for Die Hard. Sam’s fault, not yours.

“We should have a codeword. In case there's danger or something. Or maybe if you just want to be left alone,” Sam suggested, finger pointing to the blank space left at the end of the paper. “But it’ll be like solitary confinement since it’s so fuckin’ quiet here.”

Almost on instinct your mind flashed to images of dark cells. Quiet sobs. Blood stains on the wall, originating from clawing at it. Sunlight through one small window at the top. Utter loneliness except for yourself.

You could remember the soreness in your legs from curling up into a ball for hours, rocking back and forth. The smell of drain water collecting in the basement where the cell was.

Isolation.

“You got any suggestions?”

“Huh?” You forced yourself back to the present. Your knuckles had a dull ache in them from holding the pencil too hard.

“Do you have any ideas for a codeword?” Sam repeated, looking at you intently.

“No, nothing off the top of my head.” You shook your head, trying to regain focus. You loosened your grip on the pencil, letting it fall to the table.

“We’ll just leave it at ‘Brooklyn’ for the time being.”

“Yeah, okay,” you agreed to whatever he was saying. It was just a precaution in case something major happened. It was rather unlikely that you were going to use it anyway. 

Codewords weren’t uncommon in your business, but it was mostly used for missions or other professional standings. Regardless of being less adventurous than what you tended to work on, this was work at the end of the day. 

“Is that all?”

“Yeah, I think we’re done.” His chair scraped loudly against the ground as he got up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going out for a while. Need to shake off the possible osteoporosis.”

You didn’t bother asking where he was going, ears following his footsteps as he walked down the hall to the bedroom, probably to get his jacket that he hung up in the drawer.

You left the paper on top of the mini fridge, alongside the car keys and a few dollars you had nabbed in the hurry from Pierce’s house.

Staring around you at the silent room, you realised that there really wasn’t much to do. It wasn’t like you to have so much time on your hands. You could always go for a run or test out some of the weapons hidden here. 

You had the rest of the house to explore, plans to draw up, a post mortem to assess what went wrong on the mission, even though the last option wasn’t possible without Sam’s cooperation.

Fuck it, you decided. Couch it is.

Kicking your feet up, you grabbed the TV remote to flip to the news station. The town rarely had anything to report on but it would be worthwhile to know what exactly was available around. Possibly assimilate in the crowd in case you wanted to be hidden.

It took you a few minutes of mindless surfing through static channels till you found it. It seemed like a scene right out of a Hallmark movie; the reporter was holding a microphone to a child who looked like he understood nothing of what was going on.

You were barely paying attention as it flipped from segment to segment, other things taking precedence in your mind even though you willed yourself to relax. There really wasn’t much to make a note of other than a few good samaritans and how utterly boring the lack of content was. A few occasional glimpses of stores and other resources available in the background were the only interesting part.

You were starting to drift off by the time it reached the breaking news of the evening. Sam had already come back when the sky slipped into twilight. He barely acknowledged your form lazing on the couch, only offering you a greeting and a goodbye as he made himself his dinner to take to the room.

Your eyes were just about closing when the breaking news of that evening came in. It was all politics. People you knew from old missions waving and smiling their way to lead their country as if the dubious acts they committed behind the scenes to get there was erased.

Until you suddenly jolted awake, eyes wide open.

“Wilson. Wilson!” You hit the cushion furiously to get his attention when he didn’t respond the first time around.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“What?” he yelled in response, mild irritation in his voice. You knew it sounded like you were shouting bloody murder even though no one was around other than you two, but you didn’t care.

“Look at this!” You couldn’t stop gawking at the screen. “Fuckin’ unbelievable.”

“What? What do you wa-” He stalked into the room, ready to tell you to stop yelling but stopped mid sentence when he finally saw what you were so concerned about.

“Reports claim that the victim was attacked early in the afternoon at his villa. Officers say they found multiple signs of a forced entry, following which he was shot dead. So far no arrests have been made but the police have since released photos of two suspects of whom, they claim, have reason to believe orchestrated the attack.”

On the right side of the screen flashed yours and Sam’s picture side by side. Old mugshots from a petty offence you committed years ago for which Ransone bailed you out.

“The pair are said to be on the run after escaping before law enforcement arrived. If you have any tips on the whereabouts of-”

You turned to look at Sam. His stare didn’t budge from the TV as they once again reminded the public what you both looked like.

Years of anonymity, working in the shadows and creeping around to avoid being recognised only to have the entire country know what you looked like.

“Well, shit,” he finally exhaled. “Somehow I think our stay here just got extended.”

Part 4

[artificialqueens]

Blue Neighborhood Series: TALK ME DOWN (Group) - Mac

AN: A million thanks to Meggie who I would simply die without. Thanks to her for beta-ing and being a star. Thanks to the people that always leave comments, it really warms my heart! Seriously. So thank you!

This chapter is a LOT longer than the others, but I hope you like it anyway. Much love!

Summary: Heidi’s boyfriend cheats on her and the neighborhood comes together to get revenge.

This was not the way Heidi envisioned this afternoon going.

She had expected to be sitting in her regular spot in the overcrowded bleachers cheering and screaming like a crazy woman. She would be wearing his jersey, his number and last name printed neatly on her back, declaring to everyone that she had worth. She was dating a guy on the football team, goddamn it. She mattered.

She hadn’t expected to be sobbing on her floor with a bottle of expired rosé and eleven girls looking at her with concern.

Crystal had called them, Heidi was sure of it. She was the only one Heidi had told originally, after Widow and Dahlia of course. She hadn’t really meant to tell them, but they had overheard the fight that started it all.

Heidi had been minding her business. Making her way down to the art room, rather than her calculus class, as was her routine at this point because fuck math. Nothing Heidi wanted or would do in the future had anything to do with math. She had made that promise to herself a long time ago. Right after she had sworn that the first thing she would do in college would be to buy a jar of peanut butter and eat the entire container for breakfast.

That was beside the point. Heidi didn’t need math, and she definitely didn’t need calculus; she still wasn’t entirely convinced that anyone needed calculus. For all she knew it could be a damn government conspiracy. It sure sounded like it.

As she was wandering toward the art room, trying to reason out if calculus was indeed a scam created by the government, her attention was pulled by the sound of a familiar voice.

She thought she had imagined it at first because there was no sign of anyone else in the hallway, but a moment later she heard the voice again. It seemed to be coming from the janitor’s closet. She heard a decidedly female giggle a few moments later, and her curiosity got the better of her. Heidi was nosey, she admitted that openly, and she inched closer to the door, straining her ear for the voices.

She pressed her ear to the door after another loud chuckle could be heard through the strong wood. It was a boy and a girl, that much was clear, and if Heidi knew her peers, she knew what was about to go down.

As she pulled her ear away, something in the male’s voice caught her attention. There was that familiar upward lilt, and she could practically hear the smile in his words.

Heidi’s body made the connection before her mind did, because she had the sudden feeling she was going to be sick.

She threw the janitor’s closet door open to reveal her boyfriend of three months with a random girl in his lap.

Heidi didn’t give them a second to breathe before she started yelling. And she didn’t remember when or where they came from, but before Heidi could blink, Widow and Dahlia were on either side of her yelling at him too.

Jacob gave lame excuses and begged her to stay, but Heidi ignored his impassioned pleas and went to storm off. Instead, she found her face wet with tears and two strong bodies leading her down the hall.

Widow made sure the coast was clear before pulling Heidi into the bathroom. Dahlia started talking calmly to her, trying to get her to stop crying, while Widow dabbed at Heidi’s eyes with paper towels.

It only occurred to Heidi that she hadn’t properly spoken to either girl in nearly four years of high school.

She held up a hand to stop Widow, words coming out between sniffles. “Why y’all being so nice?”

Widow smiled lightly, knowingly, and shrugged. “We’ve all been there, sis.”

“Men fucking suck,” Dahlia chimed in.

Widow rolled her eyes. “Just cause you in love with someone else’s boyfriend doesn’t mean all men suck.”

“I didn’t mean Joe, you bitch.” Dahlia elbowed her friend in the side. “And I’m not in love with him.”

“Mhmm, sure you ain’t.” Widow shot a look at Heidi as if to say she totally is.

It made Heidi laugh. Louder than she meant to, sooner than she thought she would. Widow and Dahlia just smiled encouragingly at her and went back to helping her clean up and calm down.

Dahlia ran to her locker to grab her makeup bag and the three girls spent half an hour touching up their makeup, or in Heidi’s case, redoing it.

As the bell for lunch rang, Dahlia and Widow both gave hugs to Heidi and walked her over to the art room. Jackie and Crystal were talking quietly and abruptly stopped when the three girls entered.

Dahlia murmured something to Widow about needing to go and the two gave one last reassuring look to Heidi, as well as their phone numbers before leaving.

Crystal was all over her in seconds. “What happened? Are you okay? What’s going on? Have you been crying?”

Heidi just shook her head and said something about Jacob being an asshole and them breaking up. She didn’t want to get into the whole thing, embarrassed enough as it was. Jackie nodded her head sympathetically, but Crystal looked at her hard like she could tell there was more to the story.

Nicky entered a few moments later and the looks of concern and warning stopped her in her tracks.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Boy troubles,” Jackie answered simply.

Nicky walked over to Heidi and gave her a quick hug, before pulling back and addressing Jackie and Crystal. “Who do I need to kill?”

“Yeah, where did you say he lived again?” Jackie asked.

Crystal chimed in. “Drop the pin, girl, we just wanna talk.”

Heidi chuckled lightly and brushed off their concerns with a wave of her hand. “It’s fine. He’ll get what’s coming to him.”

“If I have anything to say about it, you’re damn right he will,” Nicky said, concerningly serious.

Heidi had no intention of telling anyone what really happened, but Crystal followed her after lunch and cornered her at her locker under the guise of making sure she was okay. Heidi told her the whole sordid story and how she had been suspicious for a little while but hadn’t wanted to say anything.

Crystal hugged her close and with a familiar sadness in her eyes, she assured Heidi that everything would be okay.

So now here Heidi was, with the entire neighborhood staring at her, unsure of what the next move was. If Heidi could stop crying enough to see, she would see the variety of people that had come to show their support. It was a verifiable breakfast club moment, with each school archetype represented in some capacity.

It was weird as all hell and the tension in the room only ratched up a notch when Crystal cleared her throat. “Okay so, umm, how about everybody sits down and we can talk about the plan.”

The group of girls lingered for a moment, before shuffling to find a place in Heidi’s small bedroom to sit or lay or stand.

“There’s a plan?” Widow asked, settling down on the bed next to Heidi and Jackie.

Crystal nodded firmly. “Yes, there’s a plan.”

“That’s news to me.” Widow turned to look down at Jan, who sat on the floor. She just shrugged. “Did you know there was a plan?”

“What kind of plan?” Gigi piped up.

“Is it illegal?” Rock asked nervously.

“Wait hold up what?” Jaida exclaimed. “Who said anything about illegal? I thought we were just havin’ a girl’s night.”

“Okay, everyone shut up!” Crystal called out over the many voices. The group of girls quieted down, and Crystal gave them a small grin before she turned to Nicky. “Can you bring that whiteboard over here?” She motioned to the portable whiteboard she had brought from home.

“She brought a whiteboard?” Jackie whispered to Aiden who rolled her eyes.

The girls gathered around, scooting forward to see Crystal in all her glory.

“Okay, so, thank you all for coming.” Crystal smiled politely at the group. She turned to the whiteboard and winced when the marker screeched out as she wrote. “Welcome to operation Jac-ass. I—”

“Wait when did we decide on that name?” Jan called out.

Brita seconded her. “Was there a vote? Did we miss the vote?”

“Why can’t we just call it Operation Revenge?” Jackie asked.

Jan shook her head. “That’s so boring.”

“Guys! Pay attention!” Crystal reprimanded. She took a deep breath in and out before continuing.“As you all know, that dipshit Jacob hurt our dear friend Heidi. He’s a cheating scumbag and he needs to pay.”

“I love a good revenge killing,” Nicky spoke quietly.

Jaida’s jaw dropped in shock. “Hold up, who said anything about killing?”

“Wait, you want us to murder him?” Rock asked incredulously.

“No! Guys! Pay attention!” Crystal sighed. “We’re going to pull some good old fashioned pranks on him. We’ll split up into smaller groups to cover more ground. Quite a few pranks I planned take place in his house so we need someone to distract him at the football game.”

Everyone turned to look at Dahlia.

“Oh, so I’m the bait?” Dahlia raised an eyebrow at the other girl’s looks. After a moment she shrugged and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

Crystal smiled appreciatively, but Dahlia ignored her and started picking at her nail beds.

“So, we need a group to deface Jacob’s jersey in the school gym, a group to vandalize his car, a group to steal all but two remotes in his house, and a group to stay back with Heidi and work on destroying his character on social media.” Crystal smiled wickedly. “Then we’re all gonna egg his house.”

A few of the girls looked at Crystal in surprise, and while a few of them cheered, Jaida just looked around at them with concern.

“Hold up, you guys are just totally fine with this? Half of this shit is illegal.”

“It’s not that illegal,” Aiden defended.

“She fucking wrote ‘vandalize his car’ on the whiteboard,” Jaida argued.

“I think it serves him right,” Jan chimed in. “I’ll do the jersey one.”

Jaida rolled her eyes. “I guess that’s the least problematic one.”

Crystal nodded. “Okay, then Jan and Jaida you guys can go deface his jersey in the gym—”

“Wait, why only two of them?” Gigi interrupted.

For the first time that night, Crystal looked at Gigi. The tension in the room seemed to skyrocket the longer the two girls looked at each other.

“You can join them if you really want,” Crystal said, voice devoid of emotion.

Gigi nodded.

Crystal looked away and Heidi could tell she was mentally trying to regroup. “Ummm, Winona, you and Brita—”

“I’m good at the petty blocking and social media stuff,” Widow cut her off.

“Okay,” Crystal looked back at the group of girls, her groupings having been thrown off. “Brita, Jackie, and… Aiden, I guess, you guys can do the inside jobs.”

The three girls looked at each other strangely but nodded.

“Then that leaves Nicky and me to vandalize his car,” Crystal said, looking up at the group.

The nervous energy seemed to spike in the small bedroom as the silence took over. Each girl acutely aware that the present company was unusual for her, and yet none of them were as uncomfortable as they should be, all things considered.

“Alright team, let’s move.”

…

Jackie smiled hesitantly at her group.

It was strange.

Jackie only ever really hung out with one friend group at a time, so having them merge like this was… strange.

She and Aiden had a completely different relationship dynamic than she and Brita. Neither was more or less intense than the other, they were just different.

That was made evident when both Brita and Aiden tried to sit in her passenger seat.

They awkwardly offered it to each other for ten minutes until Aiden sat in the back.

Jackie waved to Nicky and Crystal as they passed before getting in and starting her own car. Heidi had told her where the spare key was and that was it. Jacob’s parents were out of town and Jackie, Brita, and Aiden were supposed to go into his house and steal some television remotes and get out.

The plan was for everyone to do their own separate tasks and meet back up at Jacob’s house to egg it. To do that, they needed eggs. Since Jackie’s group was already going to be at the house, they had the most time to run to the store. So as Jackie’s car hummed to life, she mentally mapped out the path to the nearest grocery store and waited for the other groups to head out.

Halfway into their journey, Aiden mentioned that they ought to do more.

“Listen, I’m just saying. He’s a shit head. He deserves a lot worse than a few missing remotes.”

“Well, what do you suggest?” Jackie asked.

Aiden shrugged. “Nair in his shampoo.”

“Jesus, Aiden,” Jackie exhaled harshly. “That’s insane.”

“No, I agree,” Brita chimed in.

“Brita!”

The cheerleader just shrugged. “Go big or go home, right?”

Jackie shook her head fiercely. “That could do like, permanent damage.”

“Oh, c’mon, it’ll just make his scalp itchy for a while, it won’t burn him irrevocably,” Aiden said.

“No! We aren’t doing that.”

Despite her protests, ten minutes later, Jackie found herself in the beauty aisle holding a carton of eggs in one hand and a bottle of Nair in the other. Aiden and Brita had disappeared in the store, fueling each other’s weirdly specific revenge fantasies.

The three girls met back up at the checkout line. Aiden and Brita each had three cartons of eggs, additionally, Aiden had a bag of Jolly Ranchers and a box of instant mashed potatoes.

Jackie didn’t ask.

The house was silent and dark when they approached. It looked normal. Completely and utterly boring and normal. Not like the scum of the earth lived there.

Jackie cut into the other two girls chatting animatedly in the backseat to point out that they did in fact have something to do and weren’t on a joyride. Brita’s cheeks heated up after the admonishment, but Aiden only rolled her eyes.

The three girls piled out of the car and walked up to the front door cautiously. Jackie worried her lip between her teeth as she lifted up the potted plant to find the spare key.

The house was empty, just as Heidi promised. It felt eerie with all the lights out, but Jackie pushed forward, scoping out the living room. Aiden and Brita followed in after her, whispering back and forth. Jackie heard something about shorting out the electricity and she stopped, whipping around to confront her teammates.

“Okay, so what the hell are you guys doing?”

Brita looked at Aiden for confirmation in the form of a nod. As soon as she got it, she launched into a rambly explanation about how she had watched this video on youtube about putting instant mashed potatoes in a yard and then spraying them with a hose. Apparently it was impossible to clean up. The same video also said something about licking and sticking Jolly Ranchers onto windows so that they shattered when you tried to pull them off.

Jackie’s stomach dropped. “You guys are talking about serious property damage here!” she almost yelled.

Brita nodded, oblivious as to why that would be an issue.

Aiden sighed. “Listen, he deserves it.”

“But his parents also live here.”

“They should have raised him better,” Aiden countered.

Jackie shook her head.“We don’t know all the facts.”

“We know enough.”

Jackie looked at her hard. “Why are you so hell-bent on this? Why are you so angry?”

Aiden blinked twice, clearly not expecting Jackie to have paid much attention to her. But Jackie knew. Aiden liked to pride herself on being a quiet observer, picking up on things most people would miss, but Jackie had learned a thing or two over the years. Aiden was pissed. She wasn’t showing it outwardly, but her hands had been clenching and unclenching into fists since she heard the story.

“It’s Heidi,” Aiden said simply. “I can’t stand the bitch most days, but…”

“You care about her,” Brita filled in the rest of her sentence.

Aiden nodded once, firmly, before looking both girls in the eye. “But if you tell her that, I’ll kill you both.”

Jackie shook her head, smiling. Brita just chuckled.

“Alright, fine. He sucks, Let’s fuck his shit up.”

…

Nicky smiled patiently as Crystal shoved her planning materials back into her bag, a strand of her red hair falling into her eyes as she bent over.

“You ready?” Crystal asked, turning to Nicky with a determined look.

Nicky just nodded and followed her outside. They each gave Heidi a hug as they headed to the door and Crystal whispered something that Nicky couldn’t make out before they left. It must have been important because Heidi held fast to her hands and whispered a response. Crystal just shook her head with a sad smile and turned back to Nicky.

They ran into the other girls in the driveway, Jackie and her group were bickering about something or other, but briefly waved before piling into Crystal’s tiny two-seater car.

Nicky would usually complain about how small the car was and how ridiculous she felt having to bend her model-like frame in half to fit inside, but she sensed Crystal’s nerves and bit her tongue on a smart remark.

Crystal started driving; they were the first ones headed out from the house and they drove in silence for all of about three seconds before Crystal snapped her head over to look at Nicky.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? It’s so quiet in here, should we listen to some music? You can put on some music so it’s not so quiet in here—”

“Crystal?” Nicky cut her off.

“Yeah?” Crystal exhaled.

“You haven’t ever done anything like this before,” Nicky said. There was no question in her words.  

“No, and I’m kinda freaking out if you couldn’t tell.”

Nicky chuckled. “Oh, I could tell.”

“Well…” Crystal hinted, nervous energy in her voice causing a smile to spread across Nicky’s face.

“Well, what?”

“Say something encouraging! Or distract me! I’m freaking out here, I’ve never done anything illegal before,” Crystal worried.

Nicky smiled widely. “You’re cute when you’re stressed.”

It was dark, but Nicky could make out Crystal’s flush reaching her hairline.

“Did that help?” she asked teasingly.

“I-I… don’t know.”

Nicky chuckled and Crystal looked over to her with a smile on her face. “You gave us the easiest job,” Nicky said reassuringly. “All we have to do is slash his tires and spray paint a few bad words on his car. What could go wrong?”

“Don’t say that!” Crystal exclaimed. “You’re gonna jinx us!”

Nicky rolled her eyes. “It’s gonna be fine, you’ll see.”

They arrived at the school parking lot which, despite the team’s losing record, was heavily crowded. Only their school could lose every game and still draw such a crowd. Nicky counted them lucky though at that moment, seeing as the football team was so bad, the cheerleaders never had to attend any of their games. Which made this whole revenge plot a lot easier.

Nicky pulled out her phone and opened the group chat Crystal had made for all the girls. Heidi had sent a picture of what his car looked like, and the two girls spent a while going up and down the rows of cars before finding the vehicle in question.

Crystal parked her car and they hopped out. Nicky followed Crystal’s lead as she went around to open the trunk, pulling out a hefty looking duffle bag full of spray paint.

“I’m an art kid,” Crystal said by way of an explanation.

Nicky held up her hands. “I wasn’t gonna ask.”

Crystal threw the bag over her shoulder, a look of realization passed over her features as she moved to close the trunk. “Oh fuck.”

“What?”

Crystal’s hand went to worry her forehead. “I don’t have anything sharp to pop the tires with.”

Nicky held up a finger and rummaged around in her pockets for a few moments before coming back with a switchblade.

Crystal looked at her, mouth hanging open. “Nic, what the fuck?”

“What? It’s for self-defense.”

Crystal stared at her wide-eyed. “Have you done this before?”

“Oh, ma belle, too many times to count.”

Crystal just raised an eyebrow. “Lots of cheaters in France?”

“Lots of men in France.”

Crystal laughed, poorly concealing her nerves. Nicky reached over and squeezed her hand once for reassurance, ignoring the sudden increase in heart rate in favor of comforting her friend.

The two walked over to the car and Crystal paused. “So… should we—”

Nicky cut her off by pulling out the blade and stabbing it forcefully into one of the tires.

“Nicky!”

“You were taking too long!” she exclaimed.

Crystal just shook her head and started uncapping the spray paint. The hissing sound of the tires and the paint cans filled the anxious silence.

The whole ordeal took only about ten minutes. Nicky popped three of the four tires because apparently insurance only covered the damage for four. The words ‘cheater’ and ‘pig’ as well as a few other choice adjectives covered Jacob’s shiny new Lexus.

Crystal’s hands shook the entire time, and Nicky teased her lightly but ultimately ended up spray painting the rest of the vehicle. The two ran back to Crystal’s car, not that they needed to as the whole school was still focused on the game, but the adrenaline flowed hot through their veins and made them both giggle as they collapsed back into Crystal’s car.

Only after catching her breath did Nicky notice how close Crystal was. She admired the way the younger girl’s lips quirked up at the sides of her mouth and her eyes creased at the edges. Nicky could practically feel Crystal’s breaths against her cheek, and they were suddenly coming faster.

Crystal seemed to realize this at the same moment because she looked away and fumbled around for something. “I should probably text the group.”

Crystal pulled out her phone with shaky hands. Nicky didn’t back away, content to breathe in Crystal’s presence for as long as she could before the younger girl pulled away.

“Why didn’t you pair yourself up with Gigi?” Nicky asked before she could think better of it.

Crystal nearly dropped her phone. “Oh, y-you know. Can’t make it too obvious.”

Nicky raised one eyebrow skeptically. “Right.”

Crystal looked back down at her phone and bit her lip.

Nicky knew she had hit on something. The younger girl always seemed to get weirdly tense when she mentioned her crush on the cheerleader. And not in the embarrassed, nervous sort of way that she got when Nicky flirted with her. Crystal got… sad almost.

“Gigi was being so weird when Jan and Jaida paired up,” Nicky threw out, seeing if she could get Crystal to bite.

“Yeah, I guess,” Crystal shrugged, a bit too eager to change the subject.

Nicky pushed on.“Since that picture of them came out I thought it made sense for them to go together.” Crystal didn’t say anything, staring hard at her blank phone screen. “Are Jan and Jaida trying to keep on the down-low?”

“I don’t know!” Crystal snapped.

Nicky balked at this. “Sorry. Didn’t know it mattered that much to you.”

“No, I’m sorry. I just…” Crystal sighed. “Let’s not talk about them right now.”

Nicky nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

Crystal turned the key and the car hummed to life. “The jersey group is done so we can head over to Jacob’s place now.”

“Cool.”

The sudden silence in the car was deafening.

…

Gigi breathed in and out slowly as she looked between Jan and Jaida.

This was fine. Everything was totally fine.

It’s just that the whole school was under the impression that Jan and Jaida were sleeping together when they weren’t, but Gigi couldn’t really come out and say that because that would expose the fact that Gigi was actually the one sleeping with Jaida.

But Jaida and Jan weren’t exactly trying to get rid of the rumors, having been seen hanging out during school hours. Not to mention during practice.

Jan had come back to school after a few days, pretended like everything was fine, her usual bubbly self back in full force. No one seemed to question it. And no one seemed to notice the extra attention given to the women’s varsity basketball team captain. Except for Gigi.

“So, um, do either of you have like, spray paint or something?” Jaida asked.

Jan perked up immediately and mentioned something about some prom committee mockups and how she had a whole bunch of paint left over.

“You would have a closet full of paint,” Jaida chuckled, sounding oddly comfortable in Jan’s presence.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the younger girl exclaimed.

“Oh, nothin’ Miss President.” Jaida shook her head with a smile.

Jan rolled her eyes fondly and bit at the corner of her mouth to hide her own smile, even going so far as to look down at the floor to avoid eye contact.

Gigi watched this whole interaction with a raised eyebrow.

“Cool, so we can just hop over to yours and head to school,” Gigi cut in.

Jan looked up quickly, almost like she had forgotten Gigi was there. “Yeah, sure.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jaida nodded.

The three girls said their goodbyes to Heidi and weaved through the other groups before walking the short distance across the street to Jan’s house. The student body president told them she’d only be a minute as she disappeared into the house.

Gigi turned to face Jaida who had her arms crossed and was looking anywhere but at her. The tension only grew when Gigi went to speak.

“Jaida—”

The older girl shook her head. “Nah, Princess. Not tonight,” Jaida wouldn’t even look at her, the pavement beneath their feet holding her attention.

Gigi scoffed. “You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”

Jaida raised her gaze and the look in her eyes made the few feet between them suddenly feel like miles. Jaida blinked at her once, twice, and shook her head. “Don’t need to.”

“Jaida—” Gigi cursed her voice for coming out desperate and clingy, though she knew it was the truth.

The basketball player just shook her head. “We talked about this, Princess.”

They hadn’t. Not really. Jaida had texted her the day after the picture leaked, said they should talk, but so much had happened since. They just hadn’t found time.

So no, they hadn’t talked, apart from the previous conversations where they promised not to fool around anymore, only to go back on that promise a few hours later.

Gigi wanted to say more, wanted to yell or scream, make herself heard. But she didn’t. She just looked at her feet.

And that was it. They waited in uncomfortable silence for another thirty seconds before Jan emerged, smiling proudly with three cans of spray paint.

Jaida led them over to her truck, opening the door and offering a hand to help each of the girls up. Gigi tried not to read too much into the fact that Jan was sitting in the passenger seat, while Gigi had been pushed to the back.

The car ride was relatively silent, at least on Gigi’s part. Jan and Jaida made comfortable small talk and laughed like old friends. Gigi did her best to ignore them, focusing instead on counting the streetlamps they passed.

The school building was dark, illuminated only by the stadium lights in the distance. Jaida pulled into her usual spot and hopped out to offer her hand again to help the girls down, this time, Gigi didn’t take it.

There was a flash of hurt on Jaida’s face, but it disappeared as soon as it came.

Jan seemed oblivious to their interaction as she approached the school, scoping out the building for any way inside. They were lucky the art room door was propped open, making their entrance to the school relatively easy. The dark, empty hallways filled Gigi’s chest with a weird feeling that she couldn’t altogether name. It was strange, seeing this place she had spent four years practically living out of, abandoned. She felt a weird sort of nostalgia take root in her stomach and she shook her head.

This night was bringing out all these… feelings in her that she’d rather not admit.

The three girls came to a stop in the middle of the gym, scanning the walls for Jacob’s last name.

Jan spotted it first, pointing to the far wall. “That’s his.”

The glass-enclosed jersey was high up on the wall, higher than Gigi had expected. There was no way, even with all their cheerleading prowess, and Jaida’s long legs, for them to deface the jersey from the ground. They needed something more.

“There’s a ladder outside the theatre,” Jan offered. “They’re doing some construction stuff with the stage I think.”

“I’ll go grab that.” Jaida said firmly, heading toward the gym doors. Gigi couldn’t help but think that she had volunteered in order to put as much distance between them as possible.

“Holler if you need help,” Jan called after her.

Jaida spun around and gave her a wink. “Will do, Miss President.”

Gigi waited until the sound of Jaida’s footsteps faded out before turning to look hard at Jan.

The older girl looked right back, before sighing. “What?”

Gigi did her best to school her features, only allowing one eyebrow to raise in suspicion.“What the fuck is going on with you two?”

“Nothing, we’ve just been talking,” Jan said unconvincingly.

“Mhmm, yeah that looks like just talking.” Gigi couldn’t help the bitterness from seeping into her words.

Jan’s head snapped up to meet Gigi’s eyes, something burned in her dark brown orbs, and Gigi almost gasped aloud at the sight. The sight of her friend truly angry was a rare occurrence.

“What the hell do you care?” Jan snapped. Regret flashed in her eyes a second later, but she stood firm in her words.

Gigi sighed, imploring Jan to listen. “I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

Something in her tone must have tipped Jan off because the older girl took a step back in shock. “W-we’re just friends. It’s not like that.”

Gigi knew. Of course, she knew. Jaida wasn’t like that. No matter how much she liked to portray herself as the cocky player type, she never could commit all the way. The prime example being how she always texted Gigi after they fucked to make sure she was okay. Jaida tried to be arrogant and cocky, but her eyes always gave her away.

“I know. Just… Be careful with her, okay?” God, why did her voice nearly break just then? Gigi needed to get it together, needed to get all these emotions clogging up her lungs to stop. She needed to be able to breathe again.

“Gigi, what—”

Jan was cut off by Jaida returning, ladder held tightly to her chest. Gigi didn’t notice the way Jaida’s muscles bulged out around the metal rungs of the ladder. Not at all.

They decided that Gigi should be the one to actually do the defacing, which was fine by her. Jaida and Jan held the ladder firmly in place as she ascended the steps. She did her best not to look down and focus only on the next step in front of her.

Gigi’s legs still shook.

She wrote ‘cheater’ in big letters over where his last name was and did her best rendition of a hand flipping the bird. Jan and Jaida teased her about messing up the number of fingers on a hand and Gigi let herself laugh a bit, the tension in her gut dissipating with each heave of her shoulders.

As Gigi descended the ladder still shaking, they heard footsteps. They exchanged a wide-eyed glance before booking it toward the gym doors that lead outside.

They heard the footsteps increase their pace, but didn’t look back until they had sprinted out to the parking lot.

They ducked behind Jaida’s truck just as the gym doors slammed open on their hinges. The footsteps resumed and began to walk up and down the rows of cars. Instinctively, Gigi reached her hand out towards Jaida. When her brain caught up with her, Gigi went to lower her hand, but Jaida grabbed it, squeezing it twice in reassurance.

Gigi’s heart jumped wildly in her chest at the gesture, and she didn’t have it in her to scold it.

The person following them must have given up, because the footsteps retreated a moment later. The three girls breathed out a collective sigh of relief, and if Jan noticed Gigi and Jaida’s fingers intertwined, she didn’t mention it.

They made sure the coast was clear before piling back into Jaida’s truck and texting the group chat. The sound of Jaida’s tires peeling out of the parking lot rang in Gigi’s head.

…

The moment everyone left the house, Heidi started crying. She couldn’t stop the tears and the sobs that wracked her small frame.

She felt a solid pair of arms wrap around her shoulders and hold her tightly. She buried her face into the mass of Rock’s cotton candy pink hair, sniffling as she heard whispered words of encouragement. Widow patted her back soothingly and typed away on her phone.

After an immeasurable amount of time, Rock pulled back to wipe Heidi’s tears away with the pads of her fingers. The older girl gave her a weak smile, which only made Heidi want to cry more.

Widow, sensing this, cut in and spoke in a calm but firm voice. “No, no more of that, we ain’t crying over no stupid boy.”

Heidi looked up at her through bleary eyes. Widow gave her a reassuring smile and took her hand. “Come with me.”

“What are we doing?” Heidi questioned.

Widow sat Heidi down at her mirror and started surveying her makeup products. “We…” She motioned Rock over. “Are doing a good ole fashion makeover.”

Rock squealed excitedly beside her, and however much Heidi was not in the mood for this, she sighed. What could it hurt?

Widow made to start picking up products, but after two minutes, Rock shooed her away, claiming that she could take care of this part. Widow backed off and sat on Heidi’s bed, connecting her phone to a portable speaker and blasting some feel-good music at the highest volume setting.

Rock hummed under her breath and Widow chimed in every five or so minutes with a compliment on how great Heidi looked. It was almost comfortable.

But something in Heidi was still nagging at her. Crystal’s words as she had exited the house, she had said, “I know from personal experience.” Heidi knew for a fact the only person Crystal had ever dated was Gigi. It suddenly made sense as to why she was taking this whole revenge planning so seriously.

Rock, oblivious to the cogs turning in Heidi’s head, smiled at her sadly as a single tear escaped the side of Heidi’s eye. She brushed it away quickly and kissed the top of her forehead before continuing on her blush. Heidi felt her heart take root in her chest and ache at the tenderness.

She needed to distract herself or she would start crying for a completely different reason. She turned to look at Widow who was looking down at her phone and typing wildly.

“What are you doing?” Heidi asked.

Widow looked up, a mischievous smile on her face. “Just signing Jacob up for the Scientology email subscription service. As well as about sixty others.” Heidi’s eyes went wide as Widow continued talking. “And I’ve hit up all his friends on the football team, called in a few of Dahlia’s favors, they’ll be waiting for him after the game tonight. They aren’t fond of cheaters.” It was Rock’s turn to look at Widow shocked. “Oh, and I may have set you up with seven or so different guys to rebound with, you can pick your favorite from the list.”

Heidi just stared at Widow, mouth hanging open in shock.

“You’re welcome,” she said.

Rock shook her head and chuckled before going back to add the finishing touches on Heidi’s makeup.

“Now we’ve got to pick out an outfit…” Widow said hopping off the bed.

Widow blew through her closet like a hurricane, throwing out dresses and skirts and shirts and pants and accessories. Rock, bless her, was scrambling about, picking up all the thrown clothing articles and putting them back in their proper place.

Widow finally stopped when she came to a pastel blue sundress. It was off the shoulder, covered in ruffles, with neat brown buttons lined up nicely down the middle of the dress. She held it up to Heidi’s confused glance, before sighing and throwing the dress at her.

“Let’s go, bitch, we got a photoshoot to do!” Widow exclaimed. “We gotta show him what he’s missin’” she said by way of an explanation.

Widow rushed Rock and Heidi, saying something about the lighting being off if they waited much longer. It was dark outside, so Heidi had no idea what she was on about, but she hurried anyway.

They piled into Widow’s car and sped off down the road.

It was then that Heidi noticed the massive camera bag in the passenger seat.

Widow admitted sheepishly that she was a bit of a photography geek, and would have joined the school newspaper if they hadn’t all been lame weirdos.

They stopped outside a local coffee shop. Then a grocery store. Then an elementary school. Then a gas station. Somehow, with only a camera and Rock’s phone flashlight, Widow managed to get hundreds of photos. She directed Heidi’s poses and bossed Rock around to get the best lighting angle. It ended up being a long endeavor and Heidi’s body ached after all the strange angles she had to hold. But in the same breath, she couldn’t help but smile at the lunacy of all of it. At one point she was sitting in a tipped-over shopping cart and looking directly up at the sky above her.

This was not at all how she envisioned her night going.

When Widow finally flipped the camera around to show Heidi the results, she nearly choked. Each and every photo looked like it belonged on the cover of a magazine. The high-quality image and the positioning of Heidi’s body had turned out looking downright professional.

Heidi just stared at the photos with wide eyes.

The longer she said nothing, the more Widow fidgeted. “These are just the raw ones, I can edit them to be whatever you want.”

Heidi just kept looking through them.

Widow’s voice tinged on anxious as she spoke next. “Sorry if I got a little carried away, I just thought about what would help me most if I were in your situation and I—”

“Thank you,” Heidi cut her off. She looked up to meet Widow’s eyes. “You got no idea how much this means.”

The anxiety faded from her face as Widow let a smile take over. “Yeah, ‘course.”

They were interrupted by Rock calling out their names. Heidi turned to see Rock holding her phone above her head. “It’s go time, ladies!”

…

As Widow’s car pulled up to the oh so familiar house, Heidi felt her stomach twist. This time it wasn’t in anger or guilt or fear. The sight of three other cars outside, as well as the crowd of girls gathering on the sidewalk in front of the house, filled Heidi’s chest with joy.

Widow put the car in park and Rock squeezed her hand, then before Heidi could blink, they were on the sidewalk in front of Jacob’s house. Had she not been surrounded on all sides by her friends she might have broken down, cried and screamed and yelled about how it wasn’t fair and how she had given everything to him.

But she wasn’t alone.

Jackie placed a gentle hand on her back and held out a carton of eggs. Heidi looked up at her and gave a smile. But before she did anything else, she pulled Crystal, who was watching her intensely, into a giant hug.

“Thank you,” Heidi whispered into her shoulder, attempting to convey her every emotion into those two syllables.

Crystal just nodded and squeezed her harder. “No problem.”

Heidi exhaled and turned back around to Jackie. She grabbed an egg, its smooth hard surface feeling firm in her hand.

She inhaled the past. Jacob’s sweet words, his dopey smile, the way he said her name, how he kissed her.

She exhaled.

And threw.

Before she knew it, eggs were breaking apart against the hard brick of the house from every direction. There were whoops and hollers and a general sense of catharsis.

Heidi looked on either side of her to see all the girls in her neighborhood getting in on the action, even quiet mannered Rock was chucking eggs like a sprinkler. Heidi couldn’t help but laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh.

God, she was so fucking sad just a few hours ago, sure that her life as she knew it would be over, and now, surrounded on all sides by girls, most of whom she hadn’t spoken to in years, she had never felt more loved.

[dipplie]

This is how I cope don’t @ me

1: Top 3 pets you wish to have Bunny, Mouse, pet bee 2: Top 3 Disney Movies Tangled, Zootopia, and a close tie between The Princess and the Frog and Wreck it Ralph 3: Top 3 OTPs Nick and Judy (I’m not a furry), honestly probably the other pairings from my 3 (4) favorite movies like Felix and Calhoun or Tiana and Naveen or whatever 4: Top 3 pick up lines Pick me up- no literally please just carry me around like sweep me off my feet no like ACTUALLY like ju- 5: Top 3 summer activities Lying in the grass, listening to music on the swings, drinking from the neighbors sprinklers because you didn’t bring water on your walk 6: Top 3 school memories    -Once in 5th grade we were doing an egg drop, and I put mine off till the day before, so my parents just gave me a jar of peanut butter, and I just put the egg in the jar, and when they dropped it from the school roof it exploded all over the pavement and left a stain for years.    -Another time in 9th grade, a couple friends and I wrote a giant “send nuds” in the snow beneath my friends next class’s window, and some other kids took a picture of it and spread it around, and like the whole school was talking about it for a day or two (though we denied it was us so we didn’t get in trouble).    -And in 12th grade the last day of the 3rd semester, my AP Psych teacher said “you know you guys might not come back after spring break since the covid-19 virus might come to America.” And half the class was like: “I hope so we don’t have to come back haha.” And then we went into lockdown for a year 7: Top 3 things you find attractive Being looked at, Being talked to, Being touched at all oh my go d 8. Top 3 shops I dunno man can I say Build-a-Bear Workshop I’ve never been there 9: Top 3 romantic dates Theme park, Aquarium, Build-a-Bear Workshop 10: Top 3 drinks Milk, Milkshakes, the color purple 

11: Top 3 spices/herbs oh my god im too white for this question I think doritios are spicy, SALT 12: Top 3 apps to use not tumblr 13: Top 3 months of the year not winter 14: Top 3 clothing items Skirt, Bows, Thigh-highs 15: Top 3 kinds of flower Daffodils, Buttercups, Dandelions (yes I’m aware they’re a weed) 16: Top 3 Christmas movies Home Alone 1, Those stop motion rudolph ones, the original grinch 17: Top 3 things you don’t/Won’t miss Angsty middle schoolers, Angsty high schoolers, Angsty people 18: Top 3 games Minecraft, Stardew Valley, All the Zelda games between 2002-2009 19: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows I really don’t watch actually T.V. shows I just watch anime sometimes maybe and youtube series man 20: Top 3 kinds of candy Butterscotch, Chocolate coins, Those little pebble chocolates that looks like fish tank rocks 21: Top 3 ways to exercise/be active Well I have an answer, but I don’t think I can say it~ 22: Top 3 spirit animals (I’ve heard something about this being possibly racist so I’ll approach this wish caution) Bunnies, Lambs, a pet rock 23: Top 3 petnames Honey, Muffin, Sweetheart 24: Top 3 places you’ve been to A yearly carnival my old town had once a year, Disney World even though I almost drowned there, The Arcade in my old town called Bananas 25: Top 3 most used websites Youtube, Tumblr (regrettably), Pintrest 26: Top 3 people you last texted My boyfriend, my friend, my co-worker friend 27: Top 3 hashtags you use imagine using the tags how they’re supposed to be used 28 Top 3 items you can’t leave the house w/o clothes (i’m really funny) 29: Top 3 guilty pleasures I write self-insert sometimes I guess 30: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take Psychology, Sociology, certain art classes 31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle My OC’s, My friends, inappropriate stuff 32: Top 3 aesthetics Cottagecore, Bloomcore, Wonderland 33: Top 3 things you’d buy if you gained three million dollars Pretty things, Cute Clothes and stuffed animals, therapy 34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself Buying pretty things, Wearing cute clothes and holding stuffed animals, therapy 35: Top 3 cartoon crushes Kyoya from OHHC, Mako from Kill La Kill, Marceline/Marshall Lee 36: Top 3 things to do in the snow Draw in it, make snow sculptures, eat it 37: Top 3 accents to hear Russian, Spanish, idk spanish 2 38: Top 3 scents Vanilla, Cream, Strawberries 39: Top 3 things to do in the rain Sit in the car quietly, make out probably, cry 40: Top 3 cupcake flavors Chocolate, Chocolate 2, Chocolate 3 41: Top 3 fruits Cherries, Strawberries, Grapes 42: Top 3 holidays to celebrate Halloween, Christmas, Valentines 43: Top 3 embarrassing moments My friend jokingly revealing my weird self insert fanfic I wrote in middle school (that was gross don’t ask about it) to my friend group, getting a constant D- in AP Stats the whole semester and the whole class secretly knowing about it, wearing an oversized minecraft shirt in my 6th grade school picture 44: Top 3 crayola colors Seafoam, Canary, Cotton Candy 45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college Get back into theater and actually be included and noticed, not cry in the bathroom, feel cared about by my classmates 46: Top 3 fanfictions you’ve read don’t ask me that you can’t ask me that the last fanfics i’ve read were in middle school  47: Top 3 people you miss right now My boyfriend, Two of my friends GJ, my dopamine  48: Top 3 fears Being hated, Being alone, Being abandoned 49: Top 3 favorite literary devices (oh god it’s been a minute hang on) Alliteration, Juxtaposition, Colloquialism 50: Top 3 pet peeves Saying one thing and doing another, trying to act like you’re being the bigger person by not choosing a side, constant self deprecation 51: Top 3 music artists AJR, 3OH!3, Fake Type 52: Top 3 bad habits BFRD OCD, speaking before I think, lately I’ve been lashing out  53: Top 3 ice cream flavors Cookie Dough, Bubblegum, Cheesecake 54: Top 3 meals you love Bread and cheese, cheese with bread, I like dairy and bread 55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime Where are we going, What are we gonna do, what are you doing onii-chan (im so sorry) 56: Top 3 dog breeds Small, fluffy, actually a cat 57: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood The Amazing World of Gumball, Courage the Cowardly Dog, y’all remember Might Bee??? 58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak Better French, More ASL, I guess Spanish would be useful 59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) I like the first couple Saw movies but then it went kind of downhill, I eventually stopped keeping up with SU ad AT but they have lesbians now and we love that, and I guess I read Warrior Cats in middle school. 60: Top 3 pizza toppings Cheese, ???, that’s all I need 61: Top 3 youtubers you’re subscribed to Markiplier, Erolds Story, Wilbur Soot 62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas Little Flower earrings, Little flower tattoos, Little flower stuff 63: Top 3 awards you want to win love trust and affection  64: Top 3 emojis 🍄🐝🍋 65: Top 3 things you’d do differently have different parents 66: Top 3 places to be in the world In love, Back up, Purgatory  67: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid Lack of responsibility and pressure, Mental illness, Lack of shame 68: Top 3 baby names Penelope, Theodore, Sofie 69: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors Grape, Strawberry, Cherry 71: Top 3 turn ons People being patient with me, People treating me equally, Being touched kindly at ALL 72: Top 3 turn offs looking like Tyler1 73: Top 3 recipes you want to try Sugar spice and everything nice 74: Top 3 dream jobs Primary School Teacher, Child Consoler/Therapist, I dunno being a storytime animator sounds nice... 75: Top 3 lucky items Fidget Toys, Stuffed Animals, Random Office Supplies (you know the ones)

[boobtubedude]

Reposting my original “Lost” series finale review

(Originally posted May 23, 2010, on Zap2It. RIP, Zap2It.)

So here’s the deal: this will not be a complete recap of the series finale of “Lost.” To try to make complete and coherent sense of what just dropped our way would be 1) impossible, and 2) be a disgrace to what just happened. Because what just happened isn’t something you instantly react to, but rather mull over during the course of a few days, weeks, months, or years. After all, that was the final episode. We have all the time in the world to think about its implications until we “move on.”

And yes, I use the phrase “move on” specifically due to the use of the phrase by Christian Shephard in the sideways universe, which we know now to be real only in the emotional sense of the world. All throughout the season, the producers of the show have assured us that what happens over there had stakes and meanings, and this is still completely true in the most basic of senses. Neither the pro-epilogue camp nor the pro-Island timeline had it exactly right, even though both camps had valid perspectives to bring to the table and pieces of the puzzle in hand. What “Lost” brought instead was a third perspective, one that nobody really saw and one that I bet made a core section of its audience completely and utterly insane with anger.

Looking at the finale from a perspective of mythology isn’t the best way to go about it. (I started to jot down “So who put the stone in the devil cave in the first place?” before slapping myself silly.) Looking at the finale from a perspective of plot probably isn’t the best ay, either. (Waaaaay too much time spent on getting Ajira 316 up and running again, especially considering the sideways resolution. And there are enough holes in the overall plot as a whole to dig a few dozen wells down towards the light inside all of us.) But looking at it from an emotional perspective, I thought the finale was a masterpiece.

In a sense, “The End” was a love letter from the show to itself and, hopefully, to the audience as well. But it didn’t pay off donkey wheels and Dharma Initiatives but the core characters of the show themselves. The sideways universe did offer a second chance, but not in the way that those that saw the sideways world as a chance to live their lives free from the Island. Instead, it offered each character a tremendous grace note, one felt both by the characters but also the audience at home. When these people “flashed” to their Island lives, they didn’t flash to epic moments in Island history: they flashed to empty jars of peanut butter and freshly picked flowers and all the small moments that make up a relationship.

If the show had to get one of three aforementioned elements right (character, mythology, plot), then it absolutely focused on the right one. As of this moment, writing in the immediate aftermath of what I just saw, I could care less about what happened to Kate and Company once they left the Island. The point of the show seems to be that what you do is less important than the meaning behind what you do. And moreover, if you live those lives in the correct manner, then the specifics are null and void. In the end, you arrive at the same destination. (In Richard’s case, you arrive there with newly graying hair, and the chance to actually buy the eyeliner you’ve long been accused of using.)

Now, let’s talk about that sideways destination itself. If put on the spot, here’s what I think we’re supposed to take away from it: As Island Protector, Hurley envisioned a way to give a gift back to those with whom he shared his time on the Island. Mother had her style, Jacob had his style, and Jack had his extremely interim style. But placing Hurley in ultimate charge of the Island? Brilliant, and not just because I predicted this last Fall and am happy I got at least SOMETHING right.

He’s the absolute perfect person to take the Island from what it was (something to be protected) into what it should be (something to be shared). In a show full of selfish people, Hurley is the epitome of unselfishness. Go back to the pilot episode: he’s distributing food on the first night (including a double dose for Claire, eating for two at the time). In “Everybody Hates Hugo,” he once again institutes a massive redistribution of foodstuffs. In both the Island timeline and sideways one, he uses wealth as a means to help others, giving away his cash rather than hang onto it. So having him established as the final Protector of the Island that we see (though, I imagine, not the final one by any means) worked for me.

What I imagine did not work for a LOT of you is the fact that we’ve spent one-half of the final season of the show watching events that would have been solved in “LA X” had Haley Joel Osment been on the flight. It’s a feeling that I have sensed coming for a while: the sideways world was doing such a damn good job of providing emotionally resonant moments that it eventually turned into an overwhelming attractive option for both the characters and the viewers. In fact, it turns out that the major players had absolutely no problem moving on once they made their emotional connections/breakthroughs, and instead willingly moved onto whatever lies on the other side of that white light.

As such, I look at the sideways world now as something created by Hurley (with Ben’s help) as a stopping ground for all major players in the “Lost” universe to meet at once, irrespective of when or how they died. As Christian says, there is no “now” over there. Time is just a relative construct created by people who are used to seeing events progress in a linear manner. What does Hurley ever want? For his friends to be happy! So what does he do? Well, he doesn’t build a golf course, he builds a space for them to somehow connect after shuffling off their mortal coil and all end up getting the moments of happiness that eluded them, making connections that had been previously missed, and getting forgiveness once thought impossible. They don’t have to be alive to have these things matter once achieved in the sideways universe, which is why I was behind the ultimate explanation 100%.

In the end, electromagnetism had nothing to do with the sideways world. There was no Faustian bargain between Eloise Hawking and The Man in Black. I’ve spent the second half of the season (ever since “Happily Ever After”) arguing that theory, and I’m delighted to be wrong. Why? It’s easier to buy “Hurley’s gift” as a reason as opposed to trying to throw Schroedinger’s cat as a reason for the sideways world. And that “gift” yielded scene after scene in the sideways world that reminded us all why we care so much about this show: its characters. I’m sure everyone had their particular favorites: for now, I’m putting Sawyer/Juliet in the pole position with Charlie/Claire as a surprising second. I’ll take scenes like this over lengthy exposition of the true nature of the glowing cave any day.

It’s obviously easy to say, “Well, the characters are happy, so we should be happy.” But clearly it’s not that simple. After all, these characters are fictional, constructs of the writing staff, whom I am sure went into hiding knowing that there would not only be questions but flaming torches/pitchforks aimed their way once this episode dropped. If we didn’t care about these characters, then there wouldn’t be such anger. Either you read interviews and now feel deceived, or you’re generally displeased that our characters are all dead. I’m not going to tut-tut you from that perspective, since it’s your perspective and you’re totally welcome to it.

To me, anything in the sideways world ended up being something of a bonus, both a meta-level and a narrative level. The show didn’t do the one thing I prayed it wouldn’t: negate the sacrifices and deaths on the Island timeline for some sort of reboot/do over in the sideways timeline. So, we got to see really interesting combinations and remixes of existing characters in unusual settings, with those settings driven by a combination of subconscious psychological desires and latent psychological holdups. (Kate sees herself as the innocent victim, rather than an actual killer, but is still on the run. Sawyer fashions himself a do-gooder, but is still unable to shake the memory of his parents. Jack invents a domestic life he never had, inserting a new body in his life in the form of a son to replace the father he could never find.)

On a character level, the sideways world allowed these characters the chance to let go in ways that they were unable to do in their actual lives. To fault the show for creating such a space when we have so often lamented the unfairness or abruptness of their deaths seems a bit hypocritical to me. For example, let’s take Sun/Jin. Many howled when they died, unable to believe two seasons apart boiled down to one episode; many others noted that it didn’t move them, due to the couple being alive in the sideways world. Turns out, the sideways world gave them another chance to “be together,” as the latter group suspected, but also honoring the sacrifice that tore up the former. I’d love to call this win/win, but I’m not sure I’d get many takers on this.

Let’s take another example: John Locke. Here’s a man that died a potentially pitiful death in “The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham,” only to have his life honored and vindicated in the finale. Without inspiring Jack, the good doctor doesn’t return to the Island, and never becomes Protector, and never stops The Man in Black, and never passes off the torch to Hurley who in turn creates a special world in which Locke not only gets to have the relationship with Jack they never had on the Island, but also gets to forgive his murderer. I could give a flying fig about the other people on the outrigger if I get payoffs such as this instead.

And, as many of us suspected, the show closed on a familiar image, in a familiar place. Some might find fault with the heart of the Island being so near the place where the show started, but if The Island has taught us anything, it’s that looking and seeing are two different things. Charlie couldn’t “see” his guitar until he chose to give up his drugs. The cave is no different: Jack couldn’t see it until he was ready to see it. That’s the work he had to do all along. By bookending the series around a man opening up his eyes to the unknown and closing them as a man who learned what it meant to truly live, “Lost” encapsulated its’ primary thematic concern: what it means to live and learn through other people. They lived together, and none of them died alone. Not in the end. Perfect.

I’ve tried to thematically address the biggest issues/ideas of tonight’s episode. I realize I am short on specifics, but I also realize that there’s probably a huge need on your part to talk about this episode as quickly as possible. So I’m going to end things here, but know that this is just the beginning. Over at Zap2it’s Guide to Lost, we’re going to spend all week looking back at this episode, and by extension, the series itself. Next week, we’ll be continuing our look back at this ambitious, epic, emotional, imperfect, messy, glorious, unique show. I look forward to hearing your comments below, and I look forward to continuing the discussion with you further over on the blog throughout the week.

[jennycalendar]

spooky scary skeletons (or: two opposing approaches to halloween)

so my creative writing class has FINALLY reached the fiction unit, which means!! that i’m gonna be writing a whole lot for jenny and miss charlotte and the gang!!! because i love them still and always!!!!

@ every single person who has said in a review on one of my fics “i would love to read some of your original work” .....now’s ur chance.

--

For Halloween, Jenny decided to dress up as a vampire. Miss Charlotte had attempted to point out that anything Jenny wore at all would be “dressing up as a vampire,” seeing as Jenny was, in fact, a vampire. Jenny had responded to this by picking up her fake set of glow-in-the-dark vampire fangs, putting them on over her actual vampire fangs, and saying “I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD” loudly enough to startle Oliver into falling into the coatrack.

Miss Charlotte had then given up on making Jenny see reason and had gone back to crafting her own actually imaginative Halloween costume. She wasn’t going to go as anything related to being a Lady of the Flame, even though she was one, because that would be tacky. And boring. And Halloween was about trying on new things, not living perpetually in the same old skin.

“So what are you thinking?” said Tasha through a mouthful of red licorice, sitting down on the top of Miss Charlotte’s desk.

“It’s a surprise,” said Miss Charlotte. “What about you?”

“Nat and I are gonna match,” said Tasha happily. “It’s gonna be a couple thing. She’s peanut butter, I’m jelly. You know, ‘cause—”

“Peanut butter and jelly?” said Miss Charlotte dryly.

“No, I mean I’m jelly ‘cause I’m always jelly when Nat notices a cute girl,” said Tasha, sounding deeply proud of herself. “Get it? Jelly? Like jealous?”

Miss Charlotte snorted into her coffee and had to pretend her mouth wasn’t twitching. “I suppose,” she said.

“HAHA NAT WE MADE MISS CHARLOTTE LAUGH!” shouted Tasha across the room. Natalie, who was sitting at her desk and paging through the cases that needed solving, looked up to give Tasha a frankly sappy grin in return. “Aww, see that?” said Tasha. “You made Nat smile!”

Miss Charlotte decided not to (correctly) point out that it was really Tasha who had elicited the smile. “Always glad to be a source of cheer in these trying times,” she said.

“Charles, you’ve got coffee on your sweater,” said Jenny, bending down to dab at Miss Charlotte’s blouse with a napkin. “And on that nice white blouse, too. You good?”

“I was attacked by humor,” said Miss Charlotte. “It won’t stain.” To prove her point, she waved her hand, vanishing the coffee from her sweater and blouse in less than a second. “Are you still hell-bent on being as unimaginative as possible with regards to Halloween?”

“It’s a joke,” Jenny countered, grinning. “It’s funny.”

“Funny is peanut butter and jelly,” said Miss Charlotte. (Next to her, Tasha fist-pumped.) “Funny is not you pulling out a tired joke and wearing it as a costume.”

Jenny frowned. “So, uh, you’re unusually combative today,” she said. “What’s up?”

“I AM JUST VERY SERIOUS ABOUT HALLOWEEN,” said Miss Charlotte a little too loudly. Oliver, still recovering from Jenny and her glow-in-the-dark fangs, lost his balance and fell into another coatrack.

“…okay,” said Jenny, but her frown hadn’t gone away. “You’d let me know if it was something else, though, right?”

“Obviously,” said Miss Charlotte derisively, and took a long sip of her coffee, glaring at the table with enough force that it sparked slightly.

“Please don’t set fire to my office,” said Jenny, patting Miss Charlotte’s shoulder as she headed over to check on Oliver. “Hey, bro. How’s it going? Need some water?”

“You know, Jenny has a point,” said Tasha, frowning slightly. “It’s a little weird for you to get this up in arms about a non-funny joke. Usually if a joke doesn’t land, you just roll your eyes and ignore it.”

“Excellent observation,” said Miss Charlotte. “Perhaps you should join a supernatural detective agency and work to solve paranormal mysteries. Oh, wait.” She took a longer sip of her coffee, set it down, and headed back over to her desk. Perhaps ignoring it would, in fact, be a good idea. It, of course, being Tasha’s queries: she had no intention of letting this vampire-costume nonsense continue.

--

It did continue.

“What about this one?” said Jenny, holding up a star-spangled cape for the group to see.

“Hmm,” said Tasha with a thoughtful frown, tapping her finger against her chin. “Honestly, I’m getting more Dumbledore than Dracula there.”

“Seconded,” Oliver agreed. After a moment of consideration, he added proudly. “Perhaps it’s time for you to Nosfera-take in a few more options.”

Jenny doubled over laughing, dropping the cape. “God, that was horrible,” said Tasha. “Never attempt a vampire pun again in my presence, Olly.”

Miss Charlotte face-planted into one of the case files on her desk. No one noticed.

“So what about this one?” Jenny was saying.

“Okay, honest onion?” said Tasha. “When I look at that, my brain immediately goes, that’s what you’d wear if you were dating Miss Charlotte.”

Miss Charlotte’s head snapped up from her desk very fast.

“What—what does that mean?” Jenny laughed uncomfortably.

“Well,” said Tasha, taking a corner of the cape between thumb and forefinger and holding it up, “it’s all black, which is the usual vampire theme, but then it’s got all those flames at the hem, you know? And if you two were like an Addams Family power couple with coordinated looks, Miss Charlotte would obviously wear this really long flamey black-and-gold dress, and you’d wear a vampire cape, but it would have flames on it to remind everybody that your wife’s a kickass fire-witch.”

“Lady of the Flame,” corrected Miss Charlotte under her breath.

“Lady of the Flame,” said Jenny, still looking a little shaken. “So, uh, guess that’s a no to that cape then, right?”

Miss Charlotte’s stomach turned over. Under the table, she clenched her fists together until she could feel little half-moon bursts of pain. Then, very deliberately, she brought her hands back up and above the table, opened the case file again, and began to read it. None of the words seemed to register very well in her brain.

“How about this one?”

“Nah,” said Tasha. “I liked the fire one better.”

“But didn’t you say—”

“I Liked The Fire One Better,” said Tasha very pointedly. “I think it’s a good look for you.”

“You know what, Tash, let’s go outside for a sec,” said Jenny through gritted teeth, tugging Tasha out of the room and leaving a deeply perplexed Oliver behind. Miss Charlotte only halfway registered this interchange; her brain was still horribly stuck on Jenny’s words.

Guess that’s a no to that cape then, right?

A no to that cape.

A no to that.

No.

“I’m sorry to bother you while you’re working, Miss Charlotte,” said Oliver from next to her, “but do you have any idea what just transpired between Jenny and Tasha? I haven’t a clue.”

“This is a detective agency, isn’t it?” said Miss Charlotte. “Find one.” The case file swam in front of her. She took a long sip of coffee and felt almost better when it burned her tongue.

--

The Halloween office party was two days before Halloween itself, seeing as Jenny was hell-bent on spending the entire day of Halloween doing “spooky shit.” Most of this hypothetical “spooky shit” involved hanging around graveyards, handing out candy to kids when trick-or-treat time rolled around, and continuing to try and learn how to turn into a bat.

“She does know that the whole bat thing is a myth?” said Miss Charlotte to her slightly-spiked Halloween fruit punch. “There are no documented cases of vampires possessing the power to turn into a bat. Perseverance won’t change that.”

“So you’d rather talk to the punch than to us?” said Tasha playfully. “Well, that clocks.” She was, in fact, dressed as an oversized jar of jelly, complete with clearly-handmade earrings crafted to look like a bunch of grapes. “C’mon, dummy, the party’s over here! You can’t say you’re on the clock right now, can you?”

“…no,” said Miss Charlotte somewhat sulkily.

“Then come on,” said Tasha warmly, lacing her fingers with Miss Charlotte’s to pull her over to the group at large. The perturbed frown Natalie gave their hands made Miss Charlotte suspect that Tasha wasn’t quite the jelly in their relationship, which amused her enough that she was able to look up from her punch.

Though Jenny wasn’t currently wearing the godawful glow-in-the-dark fangs, she had decided on a traditional red-and-black cape with the collar turned up, and she was watching Miss Charlotte with a strangely worried expression. “Charlemagne, you’ve been off all week,” she said gently, no trace of humor in her voice. “Is everything okay?”

Awkwardly, Miss Charlotte tugged her hand free of Tasha’s. “I’m fine,” she said stiffly. “This is a party, isn’t it? Not some sort of poorly-crafted intervention attempt?”

“Oh boy,” said Jenny. “You know what, guys, I’m gonna take Charcoal here out onto the patio. Keep my blood cocktail cold, okay?” Without waiting for an answer, she placed Miss Charlotte’s cup of punch down on a nearby table, forcibly tucked Miss Charlotte’s hand into the crook of her arm, and tugged Miss Charlotte outside onto the patio, shutting the door behind them. “What gives?” she said. “Seriously. You have not been normal and it has been going on for long enough to become pretty goddamn concerning.”

“This is just the way I am,” said Miss Charlotte stubbornly. “Awkwardly standoffish, largely focused on my work. You’ve all seemed fine with it up till recently—”

“No, I know how you are,” said Jenny, reaching out to take Miss Charlotte’s hands.

Miss Charlotte flinched away.

Jenny’s eyes widened. “Charlotte?” she said. And that was serious, because Jenny never called her Charlotte. Ever. Frankly, no one called her Charlotte, it was always Miss Charlotte as she requested—

“I don’t like your Halloween costume,” blurted out Miss Charlotte.

Jenny frowned. “Yeah, I got that,” she said. “But what’s really wrong?”

“No, that’s—that is what’s really wrong,” said Miss Charlotte. She almost couldn’t look at Jenny. She kept on thinking about that discarded vampire cape, the one with the flames licking up from the hem. “You’re a vampire,” she said.

“Yes,” said Jenny.

“I don’t need to be re-reminded of how different from you I am,” said Miss Charlotte.

Jenny blinked. “What?”

“Don’t make me say it again,” said Miss Charlotte.

“I mean, I kinda might have to, because I really don’t get it,” said Jenny, still frowning. She was beginning to look a little indignant. “I’ve always been a vampire, Charlotte. I don’t see how that changes anything between us.”

“Sometimes I forget, that’s all,” said Miss Charlotte stiffly, hugging her arms and staring back down at the floor.

“That’s really it?” said Jenny. “That you’re pissed off about having to remember that I’m a vampire?” There was an edge to her voice. “I’ve always been a vampire,” she said again.

“I know,” said Miss Charlotte. She suddenly felt very small.

“And frankly, it kinda sucks that suddenly you’re not cool with that.”

“I know,” said Miss Charlotte. “Which is why I did not want to bring it up. If I hadn’t been accosted—”

“I’m sorry, was I just not supposed to pick up on the fact that you’ve been avoiding me all week?” said Jenny coolly. “If you really didn’t want this to come up in conversation at some point, you’d have been better at hiding it.”

“This coming from the queen of un-subtle!”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Wordlessly indignant, Miss Charlotte gestured towards the vampire costume.

“Being a vampire isn’t something I need to be subtle about,” said Jenny. “It’s a part of me.It’s something that the people I care about are gonna have to deal with, whether they like it or not.” She swallowed, hard. “That doesn’t mean I’m not good at hiding stuff when I want to.”

“Well—”

“What is it that you really want me to know?” said Jenny, and she sounded almost desperate. “Really?”

“I—”

“C’mon, Charlotte,” said Jenny. “Please. You have to be honest with me about this.”

And for a moment, Miss Charlotte considered telling her the realer, deeper truth of the matter: you’re going to live forever, and I’m not. You’re the most important thing in my life, and I’m a footnote in yours. But she couldn’t stomach the thought of ageless sympathy in Jenny’s eyes. Mortals fell in love with Jenny all the time, Miss Charlotte was sure. Who wouldn’t? It was Jenny, after all.

“I don’t have to be honest with you about anything,” she spat, and stormed away, through the Halloween party and through the office and out the door of the Do-Gooders’ Detective Agency. She had forgotten to grab her coat. Still in her flimsy faerie queen costume, her filmy wings felt like they were shivering in the wind.

“Charlotte—!”

Exhausted and heartsick, Miss Charlotte turned. Jenny looked just as miserable and drawn-out as she felt. “I didn’t mean to push you, okay?” Jenny said. “If it’s not something you’re ready to talk about, I—I understand that. I just…” She let out a breath. “For someone who’s been alive a really long time, I guess I can get kinda bad at waiting around to help the people I care about. I should have waited until you felt okay enough to tell me what’s bothering you. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me,” said Miss Charlotte flatly, staring down at her delicate green slippers. “You were trying to help. It’s what you do.”

Jenny stepped forward, placing a gentle hand at Miss Charlotte’s elbow. Cold as it was, the touch warmed Miss Charlotte to the bone. “Come back inside,” she said softly. “Everyone’s really been missing your classically standoffish charm. We’ve all been pretty concerned, you know.”

“I know,” said Miss Charlotte unsteadily.

“And—” Jenny hesitated, then took off her vampire cape, draping it awkwardly over Miss Charlotte’s fairy wings. “You look cold,” she said.

“I’m a Lady of the Flame,” said Miss Charlotte waspishly. “I can warm myself up, thank you—”

Jenny tucked the cape a little more closely around Miss Charlotte, then moved her hand up to gently tuck one of Miss Charlotte’s blond curls behind her ear. Miss Charlotte closed her eyes involuntarily at Jenny’s touch, shuddering softly.

“Oh,” said Jenny, her voice catching. “Is that what this is?”

Miss Charlotte didn’t dare open her eyes again.

She felt Jenny move forward—and then Jenny stopped, hand still resting against Miss Charlotte’s cheek. A long moment passed before Jenny pulled away again. “I should get back to the party,” she said unsteadily.

Miss Charlotte’s eyes were still shut. She didn’t think she could bear to open them and see the pity in Jenny’s gaze. “Yes,” she said. “You should.”

[writerlydays]

excerpt from chapter 1 of silence falls

So i’m editing Silence Falls and that, of course, comes with much re-writing. Have an excerpt from the newest version of chapter 1! Tell me what you think! If you’ve read the original version, you should tell me which one you like better. 

In the depths of the forest, deep beyond human eyes and ears, something stirs. A dark something, full of animalistic rage. Unseeing eyes and toothy maw buzz with flies and the stench of decay.

Slowly, it climbs to its feet. It’s awake, and it’s hungry.

-o-

Kari

Kari stares up at the thing in front of her. It looks a bit like a house, built by someone who had, perhaps, never actually seen one. At once it is too small, too tall, and leaning a bit to one side. There are turrets where there should be none, oddly placed windows, and a wraparound porch that seems to rise and fall as it pleases.

It doesn’t look terribly sturdy, and Kari gets the vague feeling that the house shouldn’t really be possible at all.

From behind her, a deep voice says, “Ah, the ancestral home.”

Kari grins, and turns back to her brother. He’s leaning against her old mustard yellow car with his head tilted back, looking up at the house.

“What do you think?”

He shakes his head. “Looks like it’s about to collapse.”

“But…”

“But what?”

Kari raises her arms to the sky. “But it’s ours.”

Liam raises an eyebrow. “Technically it’s yours.”

“If you live here, it’s yours too.”

“I’m not sure I want it.”

“Where else are you going to go?”

Liam thinks, then sighs. “Yeah, fair.”

Kari pulls the house keys out of her pocket with a flourish. They still have the little yellow tag from where she got them at the lawyer's office. She says, “Let’s look inside.”

Kari’s first impression is dust. Lots of dust, on every surface and thickening the air. It makes sense, but she begins to feel, finally, the enormity of what she’s done. The last few weeks have been something of a whirlwind. She’s been moving purely on instinct and fumes and now she’s run out of both. Now she’s just standing in this empty old house thousands of miles from home, with no furniture, no job, and no idea what to do next.

“Shit.” She says.

Liam waves dust out from in front of his face. He sneezes once. He says, “Goddamn.”

“What did I get us into?”

Liam gives her a sharp look. “You’re not freaking out, are you? That’s my job.”

Kari takes a deep breath which, given the state of the air, leads to a prolonged coughing fit. When she’s done, though, she draws herself up. “It’ll be fine. We just need to open some windows, get some fans on. Maybe there’s a shop vac here somewhere.”

Liam shakes his head, but dutifully follows her further into the house. The wood-paneled walls give a strange sense of stepping backward in time. It’s so strong that Kari imagines she can almost feel it slow and reverse, then start back up again.

The little round living room is shaped almost like a bubble, with windows that seem almost convex but can’t be, really. The dust has taken quite a liking to the shag carpeting, it puffs up in plumes with every step they take.

Kari struggles to open the ancient windows while Liam paces around the room, peering at the artwork on the walls.

“Can we take these down? They’re kinda creepy.”

Kari, having only gotten one window halfway up, huffs, “I don’t know, Liam. Can you help me, please?”

Liam bobs in front of the old photograph. “I feel like it’s, like, watching me. Like it’s eyes are following me, you know? Scooby-doo style.”

“Liam!”

“Yeah, i’m coming.”

“Help me with this- no, you get that side. Alright, on three.”

Fully opening the window has a strange affect on the house. Everything seems instantly lighter, and the air begins to move. The dust drifts towards this portal to the outside world and, with it, Kari’s worries begin to fade. They can do this, she’s certain. It’s only a house, after all.

“What in the hell is that?” Liam’s voice trips down the steep stairs.

Kari is standing between the two rooms on the second floor, having had time to explore neither of them. Liam has already ascended to the top, and now she follows quickly.

The top floor is only one small room, round as can be with a high pointed ceiling. The floor is old wood, with four light squares where bed posts once were. Next to each one of these four squares is a metal plate with a sturdy ring attached. Liam gestures to them.

“What is that?”

“Looks like… I don’t know. Secures something to the floor, I guess.”

“Yeah thanks for that genius insight, Sherlock.”

“How should I know, Liam?”

Liam shrugs and huffs. “Creeps me out. Does the other room have this?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t get a chance to check before you decided to have a fit up here.”

“Let’s go see.”

The bedroom on the second floor has the same strange metal rings in the floor, albeit further apart to accommodate for the bigger bed.

“I don’t like it.” Says Liam.

“You know, it’s a really old house. I bet we’ll find other stuff you’ll like even less.”

“You’re on.”

They do, in fact, find something that Liam likes even less.

“That is the ugliest thing i’ve ever seen in my life.” Says Liam.

“It’s… not great.”

“I don’t- I don’t even know how to describe what emotion i’m feeling. Is it disgust? Anger?”

“That’s a little harsh.”

“How. How does someone look at a blank kitchen wall and think ‘You know what would be great here? A mural of a gigantic chicken.’?”

“I know it must have been one of our ancestors, but I really thought our family had better taste than this.”

“Sorry, did we see different versions of the living room?”

“Alright, good point.”

“I’m- I’m not gonna look at this every day, Kari. I can’t do it. I’m just not strong enough, emotionally.” Liam presses his hand to his forehead, “I feel lightheaded already.”

“Oh stop.”

“But seriously, can we do something about it? It’s… really ugly.”

Kari looks around the room, chewing thoughtfully on the inside of her cheek. “We could just go ahead and re-paint? I’m not really digging this off-white anyway.”

“We could do blue. No, lavender. Wait no, sage green.”

“Final answer?”

“Sage green, final answer.”

They sleep on the living room floor. They have blankets and pillows and not much else. Everything that could not fit into Kari’s little mustard yellow car was unceremoniously abandoned along with their old lives in California.

The car itself should have been left alongside their furniture on the curb in front of Kari’s apartment, but she’d been unable to let go. The Mustard Contraption was the first car she ever bought on her own; she knows how to change its oil, how fast she can go before it starts to sputter, and if she turns the radio up loud enough the car sings along. She’d been able to leave people, books and chairs and her bed, her waffle iron, and most of her dishes, but the car was just too much.

Liam hadn’t seemed to mind the drive in the Mustard Contraption anyway, he has almost as many memories in it as she does. She let him borrow it when he moved from their parents’ house to a college dorm, he’s taken it on dates, she’s picked him up from house parties, and there have been more than a couple 2 a.m. runs to get tacos and let him cry about stress and feelings. They drove home together from the funeral in that car. No, the car was much too important to leave, even if turning on the heat makes everything smell like popcorn.

Now, as she looks across the room at her brother, Kari wonders once again if this was the right decision. With nothing left to occupy her mind, doubts begin to creep up out of the shadows. Their whole lives are across the country, jobs and school, family and friends. All the security of knowing a place, of belonging to it and having it belong to you, that’s all gone. Should she have dragged Liam into this? Should she have convinced her brother to move thousands of miles away with her on little more than a whim?

Maybe, maybe not. But what’s done is done, and she remembers vividly the state he was in mere weeks before their departure. She couldn’t have left him like that, and she couldn’t have stayed. At least here he seems a little more like his old self, for now at least.

There is no food in the house. Well, there is a package of sliced ham and a jar of peanut butter from where they made sandwiches during the trip, but the bread is long gone. Kari stuffs a couple slices of ham into her mouth and chews thoughtfully as she walks back into the living room.

“Time to get up.” She says to the pile of blankets on the living room floor.

“No.” Says the pile, and the top of a head of wiry hair ducks further under a blanket.

“I’m hungry, let’s go get something to eat.”

“But i’m tired.” The pile whines.

“Come on, we’ll find someplace with waffles.”

There is silence, and then Liam pokes his head out from under the blankets, squinting and frowning and looking generally like elderly frog. “It’s cold.” He accuses.

“I’ll get you a coat.”

“Fine.” Says Liam. The pile of blankets moves, it grows, it rises and rises until it slips off Liam’s back and onto the floor with a muted thump and he stands there shivering pathetically until Kari goes to get him a coat.

It’s clear that the Walsh siblings are outsiders. Their complexions stand out, sure, but it’s more the fact that they each have on several more layers than the other warmest dressed person that they’ve seen on the main street of Silence. There are so many things to do, people to talk to and papers to sign, things for Kari to get put in her name. There will be more people to call when they get home, more things to sort out, and it’s beginning to wear her down. She slumps down onto a bench and lets her eyes slip closed for a moment.

“This was your idea, you know.” Says Liam, sitting down beside her.

“I know.” Kari sighs, “I just need a minute. Paperwork makes my head hurt.”

“Don’t fall asleep, you’ll freeze to death.”

“Honestly, it’s not that cold.”

Liam shoots her an incredulous look. “There’s a library over there.” He jabs his thumb down the road, “I’m gonna go check it out. Call me if you need me, cool?”

“Cool. I might check out, uh, whatever this place is.” Kari nods to the building across the road to a quaint looking storefront. There’s not much in the way of decorations, but a wooden sign above the door names it, “Autumn Leaf”.

Liam gives a halfhearted shrug and shoulders off to heed the call of books. It’s several minutes before Kari can convince herself to get up off of the bench and set off across the street, but as soon as she does her curiosity feels more like compulsion. She feels pulled, almost, by the little wooden sign. A bell above the door chimes as it shuts behind her. There is an overwhelming feeling of having stepped into a quiet wood, surrounded by trees and unseen by the outside world. It’s almost a physical sensation. Time closes its eyes for a moment.

Kari lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

The shop is small, but bigger than it looked on the outside. Rows of shelves are laden with crystals and decks of tarot cards and bottles of herbs that Kari has never heard of before. One full wall is covered with books.

There is a counter along the wall opposite the books, covered with so many flowers and vines and tall leafed plants that Kari does not automatically see the girl behind it. Tall, with astonishingly silver hair and an odd shine to her skin. The girl does not seem to notice Kari.

She’s not normally for this sort of thing, this mystic stuff, yet she finds herself entranced. She runs her fingers along the edges of the shelves, over bundles of sage and strings of bright beads.

“Hello,” Says a voice, very close.

Kari starts, knocking a jar of rose hips off the shelf. She’s sure it’s going to shatter, but it’s caught at the last moment by a long-fingered hand.

“I’m so sorry,” It’s a voice that pulls warbling brooks to the forefront of Kari’s mind, chirping birds and singing wind, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No I- I wasn't paying any attention, i’m sorry. I got a little… lost.”

The woman holding the bottle rose hips smiles. Her eyes crinkle, her nose scrunches. “That happens here. Time moves a little slower.”

“I feel it.” Kari says, surprising herself, “It feels so peaceful.”

The store feels peaceful. The woman feels peaceful. She has kind eyes. She also has a very pleasant face, with skin as dark as Kari’s own, covered with a smattering of darker freckles. A voluminous mass of dark curls strains every which way. She looks like she belongs in a fairy tale.

“You haven't been here before.”

“No, i’m new in town.”

“Ah,” The woman tilts her head thoughtfully to the side, “I didn’t think i’d seen you around. Welcome to Silence. Welcome to Autumn Leaf. I’m Aimee.”

She extends her hand and Kari takes it, marveling at the firmness of the handshake. “Kari.” She introduces herself, “Walsh.”

Aimee’s hair perks up. “Walsh? As in-”

“Yeah, my great grandparents lived on the edge of town in that tall old house. They left it to me.”

“I was very sorry to hear of their passing. Your great-grandmother made the best lavender jam this side of the Turusa Layline.”

Kari rubs her thumb over her chin. “Never met ‘em, actually. They were kind of… estranged, from the rest of the family.”

“No! Why? Such lovely folk.”

“No one would say. Probably something stupid, honestly.”

“So then, where have you come from?”

“California. My brother and I just moved into the old house.”

Aimee looks at her curiously. She says, “Hmm.”

Kari feels a sudden surge of panic, sure that Aimee is going to ask why they moved, what happened, or why she dragged her brother with her across the country. She’s not ready to tell the story, and not to a stranger. Everything is too fresh.

To her surprise, Aimee doesn’t ask. Instead she says, “You look like you could use a cup of tea.”

At the back of the shop, through several rooms of indeterminate use, is a staircase that spirals up, up, up. Landings are placed strangely and at intervals that make little to no sense to Kari. On the third landing, they stop. A pale pink door opens inward.

Before she steps in, Kari looks up at the remaining stairs. She can’t see the top. It’s baffling, as this is not a tall building.

“How far up does this go?” She asks.

“All the way.” Says Aimee.

The room they’ve entered into is small. The walls, like the door, are a pale pink. There are bookshelves and a couch and a small counter with a sink, a portable heating element, and a kettle.

“This is my reading room.” Says Aimee, putting the kettle on right away.

“How is there a window?” Kari wanders over to the couch, where a large picture window sits behind. To her great surprise, it looks out over a garden, and not the main street.

“It’s just magic, dear, don’t worry yourself.”

[backroadblues]

May 30th, 2017 - Grainau, Bavaria, Germany

Today was our first full day in our beautiful Bavarian Apartment. We all agree that this may be the best apartment we’ve rented on our trip. Our German hostess Carolin is so thoughtful in the way she decorates and equips our rooms and the facilities in general. Not to mention how beautiful our setting is at the foot of the Zugspitze mountain.

Our objective today was to get up early so that we could drive over to Fussen where we would meet our driver for a tour of Neuschwanstein, Hohenschwangau Castle, Linderhoff Castle and the little town of Oberamergau. This was a relatively inexpensive tour and we soon find out why. Our driver, “Laddo” an Aramaic Turk who immigrated to Germany, will largely just take us to each sight and give us some general narration of the landscape and topography along the way. L'addio says, "on zee right you zee trees, on zee left you zee mountains weet trees, here you zee happy cows." Nothing like the private tours we’ve had in Italy. Each of the castles we will be visiting do not allow private tour guides and we will be utilizing the guides at each location. We are staying in Grainau, which is near Garmisch-Partinkirchen and Fussen is only 21 miles to the west of us. However, it will take us about 45 - 50 minutes to get there because there are mountains and lakes between us and Fussen and the route will take us into Austria and back into Germany, plus there is truck traffic and it is difficult to pass them. Our plan is to depart at 7:30am so we can meet our driver at 9:00.

We had hoped to have a healthy and nourishing / low calorie breakfast here in our apartment. But if you read yesterdays Blog, you know that we weren’t able to order groceries. At least we got some water to go with that 15Euro bottle of Barolo that we picked up at the gas station. We scrounge around in the morning and go through provisions we’ve purchased along the way. We have a jar of peanut butter, some jelly and jam, some honey and Elisa has 4 slices of gluten free bread. Now you have to realize that gluten free bread pretty much tastes like cardboard when it is fresh. You have to imagine what it tastes like after it has been sitting in the back of our car for 4 days. Elisa offers up a couple of slices to us, but there are no takers. Instead we opt for some stale Italian breadsticks with peanut butter. Yes, stale breadsticks taste better than gluten free bread. Carolyn was also able to pick up some bananas at the gas station. They are a little green but she has one anyway. Needless to say, our early makeshift breakfast was relatively light but hey - God forbid any one of us should miss a meal. You have to remember, we gorged our way across Italy like a plague of locusts. In fact, they Italians are declaring the day we migrated north into Austria and Germany as a new Holiday - the day the plague was lifted.

We manage to get on the road at 7:30. Navigation on my iPhone says it will be a 51 minute drive. We do encounter traffic and we end up arriving at 8:45. Fortunately, we are on time. Laddo shows up and explains how things will work. He will take us by mini-bus up to Neuschwanstein and Hohenschwangau castles. Arrange for our tickets and leave us to explore and partake in the guides at the castle. He drops us of at the entrance, passes us our tickets and tells us how to get there and what to see. Our tour starts at 9:55am and it will take about 1 hour. We then can explore the Marienbrucke bridge that overlooks Neuschwanstein and then we can make our way down the hill to visit Schwangau and the Hohenschwangau Castle. He will be picking us back up at 1:00PM to take us to Linderhoff and Oberamergau.

First a little background for you. Neuschwanstein is the famous “fairy tale” castle built by King Ludwig II of Bavaria. He built a total of three castles during is short reign. Two of them done in a Baroque / Gothic style but Neuschwanstein was a testament to medieval architecture. What is odd about that, is that King Ludwig ruled from 1865 through the time of his death in 1889. He lived well after the times and eras from the castles that influenced his design. Neuschwanstein, is his most famous and of course the inspiration of a young Walt Disney who would go on to construct his own Castle at the Disneyland theme parks. King Ludwig was a man born in the wrong time. By the time he would inherit the throne as a result of his father’s (Maximillian) passing, the monarchy was practically a figurehead position. By the time of his birth, a Bavarian republic would exist and the parliament would largely govern the people. However, the King of Bavaria would be expected to be involved in the politics of the time, but in reality he had very little power. What he did have though was a large family fortune that was augmented regularly by the Government because of the families former sovereignty. At the age of 18, when he would rise to the throne, he was ill prepared. He led a sheltered life under the tutelage of his mother. He was a learned man with a keen interest in science, music and literature. He would spend his childhood growing up in the Castle Hohenschwangau. This castle had very early roots but it was largely renovated by his father, King Maximillian. As a boy, young Ludwig would look up at the rocky crag of a peak known as Schwanstein, atop of which stood the ruined remains of a much older castle originally built in the 1100’s.

When Ludwig became King he made it be know that he would build a new castle atop Schwanstein - hence the name Neu(new)Schwanstein. However, before he would start work on this castle, he would build Linderhoff castle. It is a relatively small castle, and was used by Ludwig as a summer retreat and hunting lodge. It is basically a one bedroom Bachelor pad. Quite a nice place, I might add. Ludwig, would become a patron of Richard Wagner, a famous German composer of operas and music. Ludwig became totally obsessed with Wagner and his tales. Neuschwanstein would be dedicated to the medieval tales expressed by Wagner.

When we arrive, at the site of Neuschwanstein, we see that it is high up on a hill. There are 3 ways to get there. 1) walk up the hill - it will take 40 - 60minutes, 2) horse drawn carts that seat about 11 people and 3) a bus service. We opt for the horse drawn cart. Carolyn and Trent have been keeping tabs on their various modes of transportation on this trip and this will allow them to “tick one more box”. Our horses today are Roxxi and Shotzi. They are ½ bothers - born of the fame father but different mothers. These are big horses that are pulling the wagon and its payload of 11 people up the hill. Our driver tells us that today Shotzi is being lazy and making Roxxi do most of the work. We soon understand why that might be - because after we are part way up the hill, Shotzi decides to take a massive dump. Our driver courteously pauses the wagons so that Shotzi can finish. The only problem with this is that I am seated directly behind Shotzi and I have a prime viewing and smelling location for the entire activity. After what seemed like an entire bale of “used” hay was expelled, our driver uses the reins to give Shotzi i a swat on the rump and tells him to get going. Soon both horses are leaning into their harnesses and they make quick work of the mountain and we are soon there. We see that we still have about another 10 minute walk up the hill to get to the entrance where our tour will start. We begin to make our way up and we come to a fork in the road and Trent tells us that we should go right. After about 5 minutes of walking up hill, we are suddenly reminded of a time when Trent suggested that a steep set of steps in Positano would take us back to our hotel. They didn’t and guess what, the trail we were on wouldn’t get us to where we needed to be either. So, just like in Positano, we have to backtrack. We make our tour with a few minutes to spare.

As imposing as the Neuschwanstein structure appears from the bottom of the hill, the castle is not really that large. Many of the structures surrounding the castle, really had not practical or structural purpose. They were simply built to honor the medieval and fantasy castles suggested in Wagnerian operas. For example, the towers and spires were largely ornamental. Similarly the large keep that served as an entry to the main castle courtyard was not really used for anything either. One other reason that the actual usable portion of the castle is relatively small is that they had to work with the confines of the mountain top. The original intent was to largely use the foundation of the old castle, but it would prove to be in too bad a condition and it would have to be completely removed and a new foundation would need to be laid. It is said that the original cost estimate to build the castle in 1869 expressed in current value would be about $230 million - but with over runs it would be valued at over $800million. Our guide explains that although King Ludwig would complete the exterior of the castle, only a small part of the interior would be completed prior to his untimely death in 1886. It is suggested that because of the cost of the construction of Neuschwanstein, Ludwig would have to borrow heavily significantly draining the family fortunes. He would be arrested in 1869 while residing at Neuschwanstein, overseeing construction. He would be found to be unfit to rule. He would be held under house arrest at a nearby palace on the shores of his beloved Lake Schwangau. But shortly after being commanded to the residence, his body and that of his personal psychiatrist would be found dead. Although the death is suspicious, it is also suggested he may have committed suicide. That mystery has never been solved. However, immediately after his death, his Uncle Maximillian III would take over the throne and he would immediately halt all construction on Neuschwanstein and one other castle Ludwig had under construction. Within 6 weeks after Ludwigs death, both sites would be opened to the public for a fee - so it became a tourist attraction even back then. Today it draws and estimated 1.5million visitors a year. They come year around to see Neuschwanstein in the different seasons. No one is complaining about How much Ludwig spent anymore - it is a huge moneymaker for Bavaria.

The rooms that were completed include his bedchamber, the kitchen, a throne room - sans throne as it was not constructed by the time of his death. Also completed was a large drawing room. The portions that were completed are really amazing. We think he may have been the Michael Jackson of his time. He was very artistic and everything he did was over the top. Although the castle was a tribute to medieval times, it did include some modern conveniences of the 1800’s - including battery and electric power for certain appliances, and a telephone. What he created is truly a one of a kind monument. If you read about Neuschwanstein on Rick Steves website - and if you recall in one of my very first post, some of the members of our traveling group think Rick Steves is an idiot (#rickstevesisanidiot), especially when it comes to packing tips - he sort of suggests that Neuschwanstein is a faux castle and its too touristy. He suggests that why see this when there are so many “real” castles to look at. From our perspective, we agree it is touristy, but we are certainly glad we didn’t miss it. It is really spectacular.

Our tour of the castle takes about 45 minutes and the requisite visit to the gift shop puts us over an hour. We then decide to take the supposed 15 minute walk up to Marienbrucke - it takes us about double that. It is up a steep hill filled with switchbacks. We huff and puff our way to the top and we are glad we did. The bridge is for walking only and it spans a gorge carved by the mountain stream that has been cascading down the hillside for centuries. The narrow wood and steel bridge is jammed with tourists. There is a staff person there at the entrance to the bridge whose job, I can only imagine is to monitor how many people are on the bridge at the same time. From surveying how many people are out there, I surmise that he pretty much “sucks” at his job. Nevertheless, Trent and I push our way through the crowds and step onto the steel and wood bridge. We feel the boards under our feet flex and sway as we and the many others walk along the bridge. I finally find a spot and before I can take any of my own pictures, I am being bombarded with request from other tourists to take their picture on the bridge with the castle in the background. Finally, the crowd begins to thin out and Elisa and Carolyn make their way out onto the bridge, but just far enough to get some photos. The view of Castle Neuschwanstein is magnificent. Once again Minerva, the goddess of hope, has been with us. The weather forecast called for rain starting at about 11:00 am. But the skies remain clear and the temperature is comfortable.

Once we are done taking photos, we take the shuttle bus back down to the bottom of the hill. Make sure you have a 1 Euro coin on you when you head down. The driver does not make change. By the time we get to the bottom of the village and finish looking at the shops it is about 12:00 noon. We look up the smaller hill to Castle Hohenschwangau and we decide, to have lunch instead of making our way up to that castle. After all, this older and more original castle looks like the servants quarters as compared to Neuschwanstein. Also, by now the weather is very warm and a bit more humid, signaling the coming rain. We dine in a nice hotel restaurant and Trent and I have some nice cold beers. Elisa her water and Carolyn a coke. For Lunch, Trent and I have the grilled Schweinewurtzl (pork sausages) mit sauerkraut and kartoffelpuree (mashed potatoes). It’s very good. Elisa and Carolyn both opt for the grilled salmon. It is very well prepared and cooked just perfectly. Their meal comes with the boiled potatoes and grilled vegetables. Elisa complains that the vegetables are more of a garnish for the plate than a side dish. She loves her veggies and they are often hard to come by at restaurants in Germany. With our bellies full - again - we wait for Laddo, our driver to return to pick us up.

When he comes, he explains that we will be driving for 35 minutes toward the East to get to LInderhoff and then on to Oberamergau. He suggest that we take our car and follow him, as we will be much closer to Garmisch when we end our tour at Oberamergau. We agree, because if we were to return to Fussen with him, we would have an hour drive back to our apartment. The tour is now turned over to his son Auggie. He will be driving us to Linderhoff. We stop along the way for photos at Plansee, the largest lake in all of Austria. It is a beautiful mountain lake with a surface area of approx 3 sq km. and it is about 78 meters deep. The water is a cool blue color from the minerals that runoff the mountains into the lake. It is much cooler here because the weather is beginning to change. The rain clouds called for in the forecast are beginning to form. An interesting side fact about Plansee, is that during WWII, this area was also home to a sub-camp of the infamous Dachau concentration camp. It was here that descendants of the Maximillian royal family were held during the war as they opposed the Nazi regime. At the outbreak of the war the family had fled to Hungary for safety, but were eventually captured. They were then held at this sub-camp of Dachau near the lake. The family members survived their internment at the camp and were released at the end of the war. The one remaining heir to the throne now lives in Munich.

With the photos now complete we head off to Linderhoff. This castle is tucked into the woods, it is so unlike Ludwig’s other castle Neuschwanstein which projects itself into the air and surrounding landscape. Auggie explains that Linderhoff was Ludwig’s summer home a place where he could get away from the politics he detested and where he could be alone. As we walk down a winding gravel lane and emerge from behind a stand of trees there lies Linderhoff. Having just come from Neuschwanstein, we are first taken by its modest size - modest at least when it comes to castles. Ludwig had this castle constructed in the 1860’s. We take our tour with a young man who is very knowledgeable about the castle and speaks perfect English. He explains that Ludwig would come this castle to be “alone” - meaning he would have only 20 staff attending to his needs while at the castle. This castle is a testament to Ludwig’s love of the French monarchies of Louis XIV and XV - the last absolutist monarchs of Europe. This is what he longs for; he would prefer not to have to cede his power to a parliament. He would come to Linderhoff to get away from such politics. This castle is laid out in a symmetrical plan. It has only one bedroom (excluding the smaller rooms for the staff on the lower level). It has a number of drawing rooms for the display of art or musical instruments. It has a throne room where he would receive visitors (but he did not accept visitors here). It has a dining room that is relatively small, because he would typically be dining alone. The dining room had a smallish dining table that would sit atop a platform that could be lowered into the floor where kitchen staff would set his table and food and raise it back up to him, this way he did not even have to see his staff, It was reported by staff that Ludwig would often have the table set for 2 or more people so that he could engage in an imaginary dinner with musicians, artists and other royalty from times gone by. The staff would say they could hear Ludwig have animated discussions with his imaginary guests. Ludwig’s bedroom is huge, measuring about 10 meters square and over 20 feet high. It is designed to reflect the size and adornment of Louis the XIV’s bedroom. Once again with all of its Baroque grandeur it is over the top. The woodwork is all adorned with gold and so many object d'arts are displayed, just as it was during Ludwig’s time. The furnishings, art work and drapes are all original Unfortunately, we are not allowed to take photographs inside of the castles. The tour is relatively quick due to the small size of this 1 Bedroom “bachelor pad”. We spend a little more time walking the grounds. There is some renovation work going on in the “water feature” in the back yard of the castle. This feature is a tall set of cascading steps, where water from nearby springs would feed the fountain. This feature that extends more than 100 meters up the hill side culminates in an ornate fountain of horses. Ludwig had this built so that he could look out at something other than the hillside when he was in bed. Once again a little over the top.

We meet back up with Auggie and he leads us to Oberamergau. This little town is a very well preserved Bavarian villiage. Many of its buildings are painted with storied themes taken from folklore and fairy tales. One such home has scenes taken from Grimm’s fairytale of Little Red Riding Hood. Oberamergau is also famous for the performance of the Passion Play once every 10 years during Christmas. Many of the shops are dedicated to selling Christmas ornaments and decorations. Carolyn and Elisa set off and begin shopping and Trent and I do what we do best and find a sidewalk beer hall. Finally, the weather that had been predicted befalls us and it begins to rain. It is not falling very hard but it falls steadily for about 20 minutes and then stops. By then Elisa and Carolyn are ready to be picked up.

By now it is about 5:00 pm and we find that we have spent the entire day on the road seeing these sites. We also note that once again our step count is at about 15000. We’ve been regularly averaging about 5 to 10 miles per day of walking. We must all be losing weight - oh yeah - I forgot about the plague of locusts thing. Hopefully, we won’t be going home with a lot of “excess baggage” - if you know what I mean. Then I remember an old Italian saying that was shared with us, “tonite we eat - tomorrow we diet”. As we head back to our little apartment we decide that we will stop at a grocery store along the way to pick up just enough provisions to have dinner tonight and breakfast in the morning. Elisa has missed cooking the most so far on our 18 days on the road. So tonight she will cook and with the limited items we have, she manages to make a lovely sautéed chicken dish served over pasta. We have a large dinner salad and fresh fruit cocktail to cap it off. We opened the 15Euro bottle of Barolo that we purchased at the gas station and as you might have guessed, it is not very good and barely drinkable. Imaging that, a gas station not having decent wine. Well, it does come in handy as Elisa uses it in the making of her chicken dish.

For probably the first time on our trip we push ourselves away from the dinner table feeling pretty comfortable and far from stuffed. It is a good feeling. We all relax and catch up on phone calls to loved ones back home, read our email, and do our social media thing. Then 3 of us enjoy the last of our limoncello that we picked up in Italy - we are a little sad. We should have picked up 2 bottles. With the washing machine and dryer available - yes they have a real dryer here - no need to hang clothes out to dry - we catch up on our laundry. Before you know it, it is going on midnight and it is time for bed.

What a wonderful day - again.

Aufwiedersehen!

More later.

[kristablogs]

The history and mystery of America’s long-lost pickle sandwich

In this Depression-era stalwart, soft, chewy white bread (homemade or store-bought) is an ideal canvas for butter and pickles. (Jennifer May/)

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why bread-and-butter pickles are called bread-and-butter pickles? “I thought they were called that because they’re sweeter and less vinegary,” a friend tells me. “You know, smooth as butter.”

I had never questioned their name either, but rather quietly, to myself, word-associated bread-and-butter with “reliable”—just like the idiom. What reliable pickles! Always perfect for snacking, on a burger, or chopped up in an egg salad. But no, that’s not quite right either.

After decades in the dark, a lightbulb went off when I read this passage in Amy Thielen’s The New Midwestern Table (Clarkson Potter, 2013), this month’s pick for the Saveur Cookbook Club:

I realized the answer may be in the name itself: bread-and-butter pickles. Sliced pickled cucumbers layered between two slices of buttered bread was, allegedly, a Depression-era staple, due to the low cost and high availability of those ingredients. I say allegedly because there aren’t many contemporary sources that can confirm this, and those that do mention the sandwich (the blog Cottage at the Crossroads, Chef John Mitzewich of Food Wishes, and Marisa McClellan in an old Serious Eats post) report it through hearsay: “Supposedly…”; “I’ve been told…”

Why is it so difficult to find a hard, veritable source for this theory that bread-and-butter pickles were named after a sandwich? Seems simple enough, if not glaringly obvious.

The Joy of Cooking does include a recipe for bread-and-butter pickles, but no bread-and-butter pickle sandwich. Tomato lovers can, however, find a peanut butter and tomato sandwich in Irma S. Rombauer’s tome of American cooking, as well as a peanut butter and bacon sandwich, which leads to another sandwich rabbithole one could go down: the peanut butter and pickle sandwich.

There are plenty of accounts of the PB&P. The Times wrote about it in 2012, and even provided a recipe. Later, a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich also circulated the Internet. When I asked Jed Portman, editor of Midwesterner, he said, “I wish I had something of value to share. I’ve heard of peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, but I’ve never had one—much less the butter variant, which is intriguing.”

When a quick Google search for “bread-and-butter pickle sandwich” led me to a recipe on Smitten Kitchen, my ears perked up. But alas, the matching keywords were in a comment by a user, not by Deb Perelman herself. “I LOVE B&Bs!” the reader writes. “I make sandwiches of them on buttered white bread.”

Perhaps this is the point: The story of the bread-and-butter pickle sandwich lives not on the page, but, as many of the best foods do, in orature (oral literature). Word of mouth. Comments sections. Message boards. Facebook groups. The only way to find its elusive history, then, is to ask around.

It seems so obvious, yet when I asked my friends and even threw out a call to Twitter and Instagram (“Do you know this sandwich?”—like a wanted ad), I got multiple responses from experienced food editors and writers who said, “No, and I feel robbed.” Many others exclaimed, “Yes! But peanut butter, not butter”; “Yes! But mayo, not butter”; “Yes! But cream cheese, not butter.” Not butter, not butter, not butter.

And then ... one of my readers, Jessica Wharton, showed up in my inbox like a unicorn: Yes, bread, butter, and pickles.

Though Wharton was raised on these sandwiches, even she doesn’t know where they come from. “It’s a recipe from my great-grandmother and her family,” she tells me in an email. “I grew up in a rural farm town in Connecticut, but Connecticut honestly doesn’t seem correct to me as an origin, especially since besides my family I don’t know anyone who eats these either. It’s a thing we’ve always had every July or August when the cucumbers in the garden are ready and there are tons, and you’re not really sure what to do with all of them.”

I imagine my search for the story behind bread-and-butter pickle sandwiches will continue after the publication of this piece, and in its comments section.

For now, eager to try one myself, I made a batch of Thielen’s refrigerator bread-and-butter pickles with curry powder. I cut up some mini cucumbers (often called pickling cucumbers) and salted them to draw out moisture and to preserve their crunch. To make the pickling brine, I combined white vinegar, sugar, ginger, garlic, chile, mustard seeds, and curry powder, and brought them to a boil in a saucepan. The spicy steam filled the kitchen, like aromatherapy. After rinsing the cucumbers and draining them thoroughly, I sliced up a red onion and added it to the bowl, followed by the hot, golden brine. I let my pickles cool slightly, then packed them in old kimchi jars that were lying around and put them in the fridge.

I could only wait a few hours before making myself The Sandwich. I popped a couple slices of brioche into the toaster for a few seconds, only to soften them up. Next, I spread unsalted, room-temperature butter on one side, then laid a single layer of pickles—“overlapping slices” as Thielen suggests—on the other slice, and joined them together. I took a bite...and promptly texted three of my closest friends.

“You have to try this.”

It’s such a rare pleasure, as an adult, to experience a new taste, especially one that changes your mind about food. Who knew that pickles, for instance, could taste so much fresher, crunchier, more nuanced—leagues above the neon-green store-bought ones? Even more so when you’ve added a hint of curry powder for savory warmth? Who knew that soft buttered bread, which is already sweet and comforting on its own, could partner so seamlessly with its exact opposite: sharp, crunchy pickles? Who knew that this was the food pairing I’ve been waiting for all along?

The two together—butter and pickles—remind me of a cucumber and mayo sandwich, sure, like the kind you’d eat at English tea. In fact, Wharton wrote me back days later, after confirming with her dad, that their family tradition did indeed come from a very old recipe for English tea sandwiches. It is an entirely different experience, though, when you pickle the cucumbers yourself and swap out the mayo for butter. Its taste is surprisingly multi-dimensional, yet balanced. Whether you’re having it for afternoon tea or for a grab-and-go farmhouse lunch, the bread-and-butter pickle sandwich is, truly, the food of royals.

Update: One of the first recorded uses of the phrase “bread-and-butter pickles” can be traced back to 1923, when Omar and Cora Fanning of Illinois registered for a trademark (since expired) on the logo for their family pickles. According to a 1996 issue of the Feingold News, “Mrs. Fanning worked out an agreement with a local grocer, who gave her groceries—including bread ‘n butter—in exchange for the pickles.” Other related trademarks with the United States Patent and Trademark Office include “Betty Rae’s Bread & Butter Pickles” and “The Original Bread 'n Butter Pickles,” but no one owns just “bread and butter pickles.” Thank you to reader Nicolas Emerson for the tip.

[scootoaster]

The history and mystery of America’s long-lost pickle sandwich

In this Depression-era stalwart, soft, chewy white bread (homemade or store-bought) is an ideal canvas for butter and pickles. (Jennifer May/)

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why bread-and-butter pickles are called bread-and-butter pickles? “I thought they were called that because they’re sweeter and less vinegary,” a friend tells me. “You know, smooth as butter.”

I had never questioned their name either, but rather quietly, to myself, word-associated bread-and-butter with “reliable”—just like the idiom. What reliable pickles! Always perfect for snacking, on a burger, or chopped up in an egg salad. But no, that’s not quite right either.

After decades in the dark, a lightbulb went off when I read this passage in Amy Thielen’s The New Midwestern Table (Clarkson Potter, 2013), this month’s pick for the Saveur Cookbook Club:

I realized the answer may be in the name itself: bread-and-butter pickles. Sliced pickled cucumbers layered between two slices of buttered bread was, allegedly, a Depression-era staple, due to the low cost and high availability of those ingredients. I say allegedly because there aren’t many contemporary sources that can confirm this, and those that do mention the sandwich (the blog Cottage at the Crossroads, Chef John Mitzewich of Food Wishes, and Marisa McClellan in an old Serious Eats post) report it through hearsay: “Supposedly…”; “I’ve been told…”

Why is it so difficult to find a hard, veritable source for this theory that bread-and-butter pickles were named after a sandwich? Seems simple enough, if not glaringly obvious.

The Joy of Cooking does include a recipe for bread-and-butter pickles, but no bread-and-butter pickle sandwich. Tomato lovers can, however, find a peanut butter and tomato sandwich in Irma S. Rombauer’s tome of American cooking, as well as a peanut butter and bacon sandwich, which leads to another sandwich rabbithole one could go down: the peanut butter and pickle sandwich.

There are plenty of accounts of the PB&P. The Times wrote about it in 2012, and even provided a recipe. Later, a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich also circulated the Internet. When I asked Jed Portman, editor of Midwesterner, he said, “I wish I had something of value to share. I’ve heard of peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, but I’ve never had one—much less the butter variant, which is intriguing.”

When a quick Google search for “bread-and-butter pickle sandwich” led me to a recipe on Smitten Kitchen, my ears perked up. But alas, the matching keywords were in a comment by a user, not by Deb Perelman herself. “I LOVE B&Bs!” the reader writes. “I make sandwiches of them on buttered white bread.”

Perhaps this is the point: The story of the bread-and-butter pickle sandwich lives not on the page, but, as many of the best foods do, in orature (oral literature). Word of mouth. Comments sections. Message boards. Facebook groups. The only way to find its elusive history, then, is to ask around.

It seems so obvious, yet when I asked my friends and even threw out a call to Twitter and Instagram (“Do you know this sandwich?”—like a wanted ad), I got multiple responses from experienced food editors and writers who said, “No, and I feel robbed.” Many others exclaimed, “Yes! But peanut butter, not butter”; “Yes! But mayo, not butter”; “Yes! But cream cheese, not butter.” Not butter, not butter, not butter.

And then ... one of my readers, Jessica Wharton, showed up in my inbox like a unicorn: Yes, bread, butter, and pickles.

Though Wharton was raised on these sandwiches, even she doesn’t know where they come from. “It’s a recipe from my great-grandmother and her family,” she tells me in an email. “I grew up in a rural farm town in Connecticut, but Connecticut honestly doesn’t seem correct to me as an origin, especially since besides my family I don’t know anyone who eats these either. It’s a thing we’ve always had every July or August when the cucumbers in the garden are ready and there are tons, and you’re not really sure what to do with all of them.”

I imagine my search for the story behind bread-and-butter pickle sandwiches will continue after the publication of this piece, and in its comments section.

For now, eager to try one myself, I made a batch of Thielen’s refrigerator bread-and-butter pickles with curry powder. I cut up some mini cucumbers (often called pickling cucumbers) and salted them to draw out moisture and to preserve their crunch. To make the pickling brine, I combined white vinegar, sugar, ginger, garlic, chile, mustard seeds, and curry powder, and brought them to a boil in a saucepan. The spicy steam filled the kitchen, like aromatherapy. After rinsing the cucumbers and draining them thoroughly, I sliced up a red onion and added it to the bowl, followed by the hot, golden brine. I let my pickles cool slightly, then packed them in old kimchi jars that were lying around and put them in the fridge.

I could only wait a few hours before making myself The Sandwich. I popped a couple slices of brioche into the toaster for a few seconds, only to soften them up. Next, I spread unsalted, room-temperature butter on one side, then laid a single layer of pickles—“overlapping slices” as Thielen suggests—on the other slice, and joined them together. I took a bite...and promptly texted three of my closest friends.

“You have to try this.”

It’s such a rare pleasure, as an adult, to experience a new taste, especially one that changes your mind about food. Who knew that pickles, for instance, could taste so much fresher, crunchier, more nuanced—leagues above the neon-green store-bought ones? Even more so when you’ve added a hint of curry powder for savory warmth? Who knew that soft buttered bread, which is already sweet and comforting on its own, could partner so seamlessly with its exact opposite: sharp, crunchy pickles? Who knew that this was the food pairing I’ve been waiting for all along?

The two together—butter and pickles—remind me of a cucumber and mayo sandwich, sure, like the kind you’d eat at English tea. In fact, Wharton wrote me back days later, after confirming with her dad, that their family tradition did indeed come from a very old recipe for English tea sandwiches. It is an entirely different experience, though, when you pickle the cucumbers yourself and swap out the mayo for butter. Its taste is surprisingly multi-dimensional, yet balanced. Whether you’re having it for afternoon tea or for a grab-and-go farmhouse lunch, the bread-and-butter pickle sandwich is, truly, the food of royals.

Update: One of the first recorded uses of the phrase “bread-and-butter pickles” can be traced back to 1923, when Omar and Cora Fanning of Illinois registered for a trademark (since expired) on the logo for their family pickles. According to a 1996 issue of the Feingold News, “Mrs. Fanning worked out an agreement with a local grocer, who gave her groceries—including bread ‘n butter—in exchange for the pickles.” Other related trademarks with the United States Patent and Trademark Office include “Betty Rae’s Bread & Butter Pickles” and “The Original Bread 'n Butter Pickles,” but no one owns just “bread and butter pickles.” Thank you to reader Nicolas Emerson for the tip.

[backyardnomads-blog]

“In my food world, there is no fear or guilt, only joy and balance.”

– Ellie Krieger 

  EATING HEALTHY & NUTRITIOUS MEALS is no easy feat for most of us even on a good day, so trying to find them when you are setting out on a week long road trip with no kitchen, fridge, or counterspace can feel nearly impossible! …Or at least, that is how I felt during those early road trip adventures.

Even, a simple three day trip can seem easy enough, but when you are have a set budget, just squeezing every penny, you really got to get creative! So PREPARATION, ORGANIZATION, RESEARCH, & CREATIVITY are central ingredients to success & have quickly become dear friends of mine over the years!

Obviously, being equipped with the PROPER GEAR can make the process a whole lot easier, such as refridgerators or travel coolers, but it isnt always essential to eat tasty, nutritional meals.

  Read Below to find my CURRENT TOP FAVORITE ideas when embarking on a long road trip.

Spark your CREATIVE mind and make your PLANNING a whole lot EASIER this summer!

#1  Refried bean burritos. Wraps, salsa pack, jar of salsa.

Simple. Quick. Delicious. We love this QUICK MEAL when we are driving, plus the ingredients can be easily switched out for a new TASTY EXPERIENCE everyday!

The possibilities are endless, truly limited only by your imagination!

Buy:

6-8 packs of tortilla wraps (cheese, spinach, tomato, or original),

jar of Old Salsa,

taco/burrito seasoning packets,

refried beans (substitue with your choice),

& whatever veggies you like.

Pre-cut veggies are ideal when making these in the car & dry veggies are our top picks: bell peppers, lettuce, & cilantro.

*If you have a cooler then your options widen even more…but if not then stick to simple and mess free options (aka, steer clear of soar cream until you are safely parked!)

  #2 Rotisserie Chicken and Potato Salad

DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU ARE TRAVELLING, local grocery stores can be a termendous money saver! THREE top stops include: Safeway, Walmart, Superstore, from which we often find late night suppers after a long day on the road!

Many grocery stores that cook whole, fresh CHICKEN or hams located in deli or “ready to eat” sections.

Fill out the meal: prepped SALADS, freshly baked BREAD, CHEESE, & club soda

Selections vary & its “first come, first serve” so planning ahead can ensure that when you arrive there are chickens left!

#3 Sandwiches & Wraps

A GREAT OPTION if you are planning to prepare the sandwhiches at home and consume them during the first leg of your journey! (Depending on what you put inside, it can get messy if you try making them out on the road, although not impossible, it just requires more creativity and possibly stopping at a sideroad park or rest-stop).

Instead of the traditional bread, try using tortilla wraps or big buns instead! They do a better job of keeping all the sauce & ingredients tightly together and prevents spilling!

Fresh Buns & Lunechon Meat with Cheese: This may not win any instagram contests anytime soon, but it sure does hit the spot when you are hungry!

What’s even better…keep your eye open for those local, small town bakeries which often sell delicious, freshly baked buns for extra yumminess!

  If you are a sandwich lover…then you will appreciate Arielle Weg’s

“14 healthy snacks and meals that travel well”

@ cookinglight for more 10 sandwich ideas!

  #4 Muffins, Muffins, Muffins

We ABSOLUTELY LOVE this option, especially when they are freshly homebaked the night before (or perhaps more realistically…store bought haha).

From our experience, a 6 pack muffins tend to last 1-2 days before they begin to loose their freshness…but if your family is anything like ours then they will probably be long gone before then!

Convientent, mess free, & filling…muffins can easily be enjoyed all through the day. (Bring along a sturdy storage container to prevent any squashing).

Love Banana or zuchinni bread?!

Stop by Lisa’s 100 days of real food  for her delicious recipes…

whole-wheat zucchini bread   & whole-wheat banana bread.

These can be healthy breakfast or tasty snack to bring along!

  #5 Fruit

This probably goes without saying, but FRUIT CAN BE THE PERFECT OPTION if you are setting out on the road. The best part is that they are highly nutritional and affordable. Even if you are not a huge fan of fruit, when you are out there on the road they can help keep away those afternoon sugar lows and boost energy levels! 

Top picks for fruit that don’t require any or much refridgeration:

 Bananas.

(Try pairing with peanut butter for an even sweeter treat). Buying in bulk is cheap and perfect if you have limited cooler space. These often last for days so long as they are kept in a cool, dark space in our car.

  Apples. 

Surprise, surprise…of course you just gotta try it with peanut butter! **you can now buy PB from a tube now! Save the hassile of knives!!

  Watermelon.

Bursting with nutritional benefits, it will leave you feeling refreshed during those steaming hot days. Pack one to enjoy either throughout the day or once you arrive at your destination. Be warned though, it is very messy & juicy, so best to pre-cut (cubed without the peels) & store before leaving!

Christmas Oranges.  

Perfect only if they can be easily peeled without a knife, otherwise they become an absolute nightmare!

    Berries: Strawberries, Blueberries, Cherries.

...depending on what time of year you are traveling, it is possible to find local fruit vendors selling alongside the road!

Whenever we travel to British Columbia, there are sellers at almost every street corner!

#6 Prepared Veggies

PREPPING beforehand can be a lifesaver when those cravings hit and you are hundreds of miles away from the nearest convenience store! Keep them in portion sized ziplock baggies or containers to make it a bit more easier & keep eating time organized.

Nowdays, grocery stores sell pre-cut, pre-washed veggies in bags ready to eat, which can be a lifesaver for campers or road nomads!

Our top favorites, include:

Ants On A Log.

Take pre-cut celery stocks, spread them with peanut butter & top off with rasins!

Pre-cut & pack the celery to combine later to avoid peanut butter getting everywhere!    

      Pre-Cut Carrots                             Snap Peas                                     Bell Peppers 

     Cherry Tomatoes

  OH! Don’t Forget DIPS:

Ranch, Hummus, Tzatziki or……!! 

#7 Dark Chocolate

WHILE NOT A MEAL, I couldn’t deny that this is a #1 on our grocery list! It keeps away those gas station cravings & impulse buys.

We normally buy one large bar of chocolate at Superstore which we then portion out to last our entire trip…give or take 😉

But that is not all…. also check out pudding cups & fruit cups, which come in bulk!!    Just don’t forget spoons 🙂

Check out Women’sHealth’s 9 Health Benefits of

Chocolate that will have you jumping for joy!

  #8 Soda or Infused Water (Stay Hydrated!)

It is easy to go for soda while traveling & while this may be the best option for some, we have found that in comparison to when we used to buy it, we stay better hydrated & refreshed when drinking club soda or sparkling water instead!  **Don’t forget to pop in a few lemon or lime slices for extra zest! These come in cans or bottles, along with all sorts of flavours for every mood!

Regardless of your choice of beverage, it is a smart idea to bring some water supply in case of emergencies, car trouble, or traffic jams. Although we like to rely on our reusable travel sized water bottles, we also fill up our 7 gallon (26.5 Litres) camping water jug just as back up. Plus this can easily be used for cleaning hands & washing dishes!

#9 Cured Meats – Charcuterie (with pennies)

This has got to be by far our most favorite foods & meal option! I’m not sure if it is the romanctic allure that makes this feel both classy for date nights or just practial when driving, but either way it is tasty & filling!!! At most grocery stores you can buy cured sausage, cold cut meats, & salami. 

(Downside: for the most part, meats need to be kept in a cooler or refridgerated. SOooo, we just “buy as we go”.… besides, we rarely have leftovers its so delicious!)

Traditionally, charcuteries can become very expensive, however, there are ways to still enjoy it without busting your budget! In fact, Holly from “spend with pennies” beautifully describes everything you need to know about achieving a budget friendly charcuterie: 

“HOW TO MAKE A CHARCUTERIE BOARD”

Suggested Cured Meat for travel Charcuterie:

proscuitto salami

genovia salami

garlic or chorizo sausage

sliced chicken

sliced smoked turkey      Honey/ black forest hams

  You can also add: pre-pack pickles, olives, grapes, pate, spinach dip, dried apricots, fresh fruits, &, of course, aged cheese to create a full meal!

 **Who says you can’t splurge & fine dine while traveling!  

  To learn more about the traditional style, 

take a quick peek at “Making a Charcuterie

Plate” @ Dartagnan! 

  #10 Hard, Aged Cheese

IF YOU ARE A LOVER OF CHEESE THEN THIS ONE’S FOR YOU! Sadly, despite my love, I am no coniseour of cheese, so I have relied on those more experienced to learn which types of cheeses are safe to eat without refridgeration!

Thankfully, assistant chef on The Martha Stewart Show, Nora Singley provides us with excellent insight in her article,  “Have Cheese, Will Fly: What Cheeses Travel Well The Cheesemonger”, while also outlaying the essentials to remember when choosing which cheese to buy.

Singely advices that hard, aged, and/or goat cheeses with an exterior rind are best, while avoiding semi-soft like Fontina or Brie or any fresh cheeses like Ricotta.

                                                – READ Singley’s full article here.

Likewise, our next cheese expert & backpacker, Laurel Miller suggests avoiding “mozzarella…camembert…blue cheeses or washed rinds (this refers to stinky cheeses, regardless of texture, like Delice du Jura, Taleggio, or Epoisses“

                   – EXPLORE Miller’s FULL Article @ Backpacking with Cheese.

Below are MORE Suggestions:

“Super-aged cheeses, most of which get more than two years of age: Goudas, Parmigiano Reggiano, Piave, Grana Padano, and Mimolette“

 – Nora Singley, kitchn

“Aged cheeses like a 2-year Gouda or 5-year Cheddar will have nutty, caramel and butterscotch characteristics, as well as some crystallization (those pleasingly crunchy bits, which are actually proteins). Try these with a post-dinner whiskey or bourbon (you know you have some) around the campfire”.

 – Laurel Miller, Backpacking with Cheese.

  Parmigiano-Reggiano 

Appenzeller Gruyère

English Montgomery’s Cheddar

– Jennifer Meier, “Which Types of Cheese travel well?”

#11 Salads

When grocery stores now selling pre-package SALADS with little salad dressing packages, enjoying a tasty salad has NEVER BEEN EASIER! When it comes to meal options, this is a must have for us, whether it be a side or main course meal.

Due to its versitility, if you plan & prep correctly you can go many days without having the same variety twice. Not only that, but it will provide you with the vitamins, nutritional energy necessary to cope with travel stresses!

 *Try adding pre-cooked chicken strips, found in most major grocery stores’ meat or deli sections (walmart, superstore).

#12: Canned Goods

WHEN IT COMES TO CAMPING & ROAD TRAVEL canned foods can be an astoundingly affordable choice! Traveling is not cheap and every little cost adds up, so having some meals on hand can not only save you money but also provide an emergency supply!

Our top favorites, include:

Ravioli. These often come in 8-12 family packs, which is sufficient for snacking during long road trips. *Just remember to pack forks & napkins/wipes.

Fish:  Tuna. Salmon. Sardines. If this is your thing then you are in luck! Nowadays, there is such an incredible selection of ready-to-eat tuna packets paried with crackers & all sorts of varieties to choose from.

Soups:  Unless you want to eat this cold…this one is best left as a quick meal once you arrive at your destination, assuming you are not staying at a hotel. (I like to heat this up on our camping propane burner stove as soon as we arrive, so that once our campsite is set up dinner is ready to go!)

Veggies: Green Peas or Cream Corn.

Pesto & Bruchetta.  Add flavor to pretty much anything with these two, whether its for a full meal or afternoon snack. Combine it with fresh bread loaf, garlic bread, or crackers.

**Be sure to choose cans which have peel/pull off lids so that you don’t need the hassle of a can opener. We have had many a story where sauce or tuna juice went flying all over the car dash leaving us smelling like a fish market for the remainder of the trip!!

#13 Popcorn

Fun. Buttery. Tasty.

THIS CLASSIC.. never gets old & is designed for larger qualities, which is a perfect snack food for trips that will feed the whole family! Just pop a bunch & pack the popcorn away in sealed containers or brown paper bags for a delicious, quick snack.

It will remind you of the comforts of home when you are miles away.

  #14 Nuts

I am not a huge fan, but my fiance swears by them & is often caught sneaking bags into our grocery cart, especially when shopping for trips!

 Almonds, brazil nuts, walnuts, trail mix, pistachios

#15 Chips with Salsa/ Dip

You didn’t think we would make it through without mentioning CHIPS & DIP?! Yes, we can all agree that this one isn’t going to win any awards for being the healthiest meal choice, but let’s face it the salty taste has us coming back for more!

The great thing about it is that its cheap and there are a zillion flavours to choose from. Kettle chips is a great option when it comes to enjoying a more healthier verison of the classic potato chip!

Hummus, cheesy dips, & salsa are yummy paired with chips & don’t create too many messes. If you store them in tight, re-sealable containers there shouldn’t be an issue. However, refridgeration after opening is key.

  **Remember: keep napkins, wipes, or paper towel closeby for any spills.  

DON’T FORGET about the beloved pretzel or crisp rice puffs!

#16 Pre-cooked Sausages

Over the years, I’ve read about so many families who have great success with sausages while travelling, so it we thought it deserved to make it to the top 20! You can find them at your local grocery store, either in bags of mini sized sausages or one big jumbo ring which offeres different styles.

Along with the sausages, we never hit the road without picking up several bags of pepperoni sticks! Variations include: Hot, honey garlic, original.

If you are a meat lover, this is a “must have”!

#17 Pre-cut & Packaged Garlic Bread (Packs of 6)

#18 Crackers, crackers, crackers…make great snacks!

Crackers are not just for kids, although they can be fantastic snacks for them too! Being versatile, they can be eaten with pretty much anything & still be delicious.

  *Try adding jams, peanut butter, cheese, meat!

(Don’t forget the knife & napkins) 

    #19 Buns & Bread

So far, we have briefly mentioned bringing along bulk of buns, tortilla wraps, crackers & bread loaves….but we put it on our top picks because they can be used with pretty much every meal or snack & really doesn’t need refridgeration!

  Plus, its appeal is just how affordable buying an entire loaf is in comparision to going buying one fast food combo meal.

      CAUTION: Don’t forget to protect it from being squashed…that is why the thicker crusted loaves can be a better option than the softer ones.

One of my favorite parts of travelling is stopping by local shops, bakeries, or farmer’s markets to try out new foods or baked goods.

Take advantages of these spots to source out fresh breads, buns, cookies, & pies!

    #20 Sushi

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

Photo by Valeria Boltneva on Pexels.com

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

 Sushi! You may be thinking this a strange option for a travel food list, but so long as you are close to major shops like Walmart, Superstore, or Safeway along your route! It is cheap to pick up a bulk family pack for less than $20 that easily feeds us. Because it comes in a deep dish container, there is really no fear of spills which is perfect for eating on the road.

So there you have it, our TOP 20 PICKS for road trip food essentials! We hope that you enjoyed & found at least one new item to add to your list. 

We would also like to hear from you about your favorite picks, so please do share with us!

      Hitting the Road this summer with your family?! It can be a lot of fun, but long drives can leave you feeling hungry & low on energy. Here are 20 great food ideas to help! "In my food world, there is no fear or guilt, only joy and balance." - Ellie Krieger 

[foursprouthealth-blog]

I Tried 11 Peanut Butters and Here's the Best One

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/i-tried-11-peanut-butters-and-heres-the-best-one/

I Tried 11 Peanut Butters and Here's the Best One

[brightcove:5484723533001 default]

This article originally appeared on Extracrispy.com

I am a peanut butter devotee, and have been for basically ever. There is no time of day that peanut butter doesn’t sound like the right call, or a great foundation for a meal. I will spread it on toast or rice cakes, smear it on apple slices, and mix it into curries and sauces and marinades. At this point, peanut butter is likely coursing through my veins. 

The nutty spread has a rich history, going back to the Ancient Aztecs and Incans, who roasted peanuts and ground them into a paste. But peanut butter as we think of it today made its debut in 1884, when Canadian Marcellus Gilmore Edson patented peanut paste. Eleven years later, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (yep, him again) patented a peanut butter making process. In 1903, Dr. Ambrose Straub of St. Louis, patented a peanut butter making machine. Even when it comes to creating peanut butter, it takes a village.

The same is true of discovering the best peanut butter. I joined forces with Gabbie, our intern extraordinaire, and Alex, our excellent videographer, to try 11 different kinds of peanut butter—all creamy, not crunchy, to keep it simple—to figure out which one was very best. Here’s what we discovered: 

The All-Natural, Separated Peanut Butters

These peanut butters claim “all-natural” or organic bonafides and have that thin (or thick, in some cases) slick of oil on top. They require stirring before spreading. 

Justin’s Classic Peanut Butter

Buy: $5; target.com

Justin’s started out great: It was super smooth and easy to combine the butter with the oil on top. It was pleasingly gold in color. It had a great, classic label. And all of us had tried Justin’s peanut butter cups and were big fans. But licking the peanut butter off the spoon was a disappointment to say the least. It tasted oddly sweet, and extremely oily, leaving a slick coating on our tongues. We could see this one being good for baking, but that was about it.

Brad’s Organic Smooth Peanut Butter

Buy: $5; mercato.com

Brad’s had a ton of oil on the top: So much so that it was hard to stir the butter without having the oil drip down the sides of the jar. Not great. But it really tasted like whole peanuts were used in the process—nut, husk, and shell—in a kind of bitter, kind of dusty sort of way. Alex described it as tasting “like the peanuts on the floor of Five Guys, but not in a bad way.” It wasn’t our favorite, but we wouldn’t necessarily avoid it. 

Smucker’s Natural Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $22 for 2; amazon.com

The Smucker’s was hard to stir, but once it was combined, this was our favorite in this category. It only has one ingredient—peanuts—and tastes like it. It was rich and pleasingly bitter. If you are a fan of peanut butter for the peanut taste, this is the jar for you. (We all went back for thirds of this one.) 

Crazy Richard’s 100% Peanuts Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $26 for 6; amazon.com

While it was super easy to stir, Crazy Richard’s peanut butter was basically liquid. You were better suited spooning it out that spreading it with a knife. As for the taste? Well, it was deeply unexciting. The peanut taste was lacking, and it had no other strong flavors to speak of. It was inoffensive, but not recommended. 

Winner: Smucker’s, by a long shot.

The All-Natural, No-Stir Peanut Butter

These jars were both organic, and didn’t require any stirring. It was an easier way to enjoy “good-for-you” peanut butter. 

MaraNatha Organic No Stir Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $7; amazon.com

A health store favorite, MaraNatha was immediately intriguing. Clearly made by a company that also makes stir-required peanut butter, this one was definitely on the oily side. While we all agreed, this jar’s sweetness would lend itself well to a PB&J, the gritty texture was off-putting. It was solidly okay, but nothing to write home about. Or, if you’re more blunt and/or Gabbie, “There’s no reason for this.” 

365 Organic Creamy Peanut Butter

This unassuming jar was our surprise favorite. Who woulda thought Whole Foods’ house brand knew peanut butter so well? The perfect, spreadable texture, this peanut butter boasted perfect levels of sweet and salty. It had the rich peanut-y taste that adults will appreciate, but a smooth, easy texture that will appeal to kids. And us 20-somethings, too, frankly. 

The winner: 365, hands down.

The Non-Stir Grocery Store Staples 

These peanut butters are the ones that are easiest to find at just about every grocery store or bodega. They’re the brands we grew up with, and the ones easiest to eat right out of the jar. 

Reese’s Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $4; walmart.com

All three of us were ready to dismiss Reese’s peanut butter, expecting it to taste more like the candy than anything we want to put on a sandwich. But we were wrong. While it was definitely one of the sweeter peanut butters, it wasn’t offensive. The consistency was wonderfully creamy. We could imagine this being a great base for cookies, a peanut butter cheesecake, or even a buttercream. And we wouldn’t hate to find it smeared on toast. 

Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $3; target.com

Skippy was super sweet—in a faux-caramely, fake way—but the aftertaste was bitter. It tasted nostalgic—”like the Lunchables version of peanut butter,” said Alex. But it seemed liked that if we ate any more of it, we’d get a stomachache. Gabbie grew up on Skippy, and said, mildly shocked, “I can’t believe I liked eating that for so many years.” We’ll pass on this one. 

Jif Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $3; target.com

With the disappointment of other childhood favorites fresh, I’ll admit I felt nervous to try the peanut butter I grew up with. I didn’t need to be. Jif was mildly salty with a well-balanced sweetness. It was “more natural tasting” than a lot of our other grocery store picks—which is to say, it actually tasted like peanuts. My childhood memories could remain intact. 

Peanut Butter & Co. Smooth Operator

Buy: $21 for 6; amazon.com

Cute label aside, this pick had an almost disturbingly thick, heavy consistency. While the initial taste was a-okay—salty and appropriately peanut-y—there was a strange, brown sugar aftertaste that we didn’t love. It was fine! But it won’t turn into our go-to. 

Peter Pan Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $3; walmart.com

With a gritty texture, bitter flavor, and aspartame-y aftertaste, people actually said “ew” after tasting this contender. We’ll pass. Forever. 

Winner: Jif. Choosy moms are right.

But we were unanimous in our decision for overall winner: Whole Foods’ 365 Organic Creamy Peanut Butter knows what’s up.

[foursprout-blog]

I Tried 11 Peanut Butters and Here's the Best One

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/i-tried-11-peanut-butters-and-heres-the-best-one/

I Tried 11 Peanut Butters and Here's the Best One

[brightcove:5484723533001 default]

This article originally appeared on Extracrispy.com

I am a peanut butter devotee, and have been for basically ever. There is no time of day that peanut butter doesn’t sound like the right call, or a great foundation for a meal. I will spread it on toast or rice cakes, smear it on apple slices, and mix it into curries and sauces and marinades. At this point, peanut butter is likely coursing through my veins. 

The nutty spread has a rich history, going back to the Ancient Aztecs and Incans, who roasted peanuts and ground them into a paste. But peanut butter as we think of it today made its debut in 1884, when Canadian Marcellus Gilmore Edson patented peanut paste. Eleven years later, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (yep, him again) patented a peanut butter making process. In 1903, Dr. Ambrose Straub of St. Louis, patented a peanut butter making machine. Even when it comes to creating peanut butter, it takes a village.

The same is true of discovering the best peanut butter. I joined forces with Gabbie, our intern extraordinaire, and Alex, our excellent videographer, to try 11 different kinds of peanut butter—all creamy, not crunchy, to keep it simple—to figure out which one was very best. Here’s what we discovered: 

The All-Natural, Separated Peanut Butters

These peanut butters claim “all-natural” or organic bonafides and have that thin (or thick, in some cases) slick of oil on top. They require stirring before spreading. 

Justin’s Classic Peanut Butter

Buy: $5; target.com

Justin’s started out great: It was super smooth and easy to combine the butter with the oil on top. It was pleasingly gold in color. It had a great, classic label. And all of us had tried Justin’s peanut butter cups and were big fans. But licking the peanut butter off the spoon was a disappointment to say the least. It tasted oddly sweet, and extremely oily, leaving a slick coating on our tongues. We could see this one being good for baking, but that was about it.

Brad’s Organic Smooth Peanut Butter

Buy: $5; mercato.com

Brad’s had a ton of oil on the top: So much so that it was hard to stir the butter without having the oil drip down the sides of the jar. Not great. But it really tasted like whole peanuts were used in the process—nut, husk, and shell—in a kind of bitter, kind of dusty sort of way. Alex described it as tasting “like the peanuts on the floor of Five Guys, but not in a bad way.” It wasn’t our favorite, but we wouldn’t necessarily avoid it. 

Smucker’s Natural Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $22 for 2; amazon.com

The Smucker’s was hard to stir, but once it was combined, this was our favorite in this category. It only has one ingredient—peanuts—and tastes like it. It was rich and pleasingly bitter. If you are a fan of peanut butter for the peanut taste, this is the jar for you. (We all went back for thirds of this one.) 

Crazy Richard’s 100% Peanuts Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $26 for 6; amazon.com

While it was super easy to stir, Crazy Richard’s peanut butter was basically liquid. You were better suited spooning it out that spreading it with a knife. As for the taste? Well, it was deeply unexciting. The peanut taste was lacking, and it had no other strong flavors to speak of. It was inoffensive, but not recommended. 

Winner: Smucker’s, by a long shot.

The All-Natural, No-Stir Peanut Butter

These jars were both organic, and didn’t require any stirring. It was an easier way to enjoy “good-for-you” peanut butter. 

MaraNatha Organic No Stir Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $7; amazon.com

A health store favorite, MaraNatha was immediately intriguing. Clearly made by a company that also makes stir-required peanut butter, this one was definitely on the oily side. While we all agreed, this jar’s sweetness would lend itself well to a PB&J, the gritty texture was off-putting. It was solidly okay, but nothing to write home about. Or, if you’re more blunt and/or Gabbie, “There’s no reason for this.” 

365 Organic Creamy Peanut Butter

This unassuming jar was our surprise favorite. Who woulda thought Whole Foods’ house brand knew peanut butter so well? The perfect, spreadable texture, this peanut butter boasted perfect levels of sweet and salty. It had the rich peanut-y taste that adults will appreciate, but a smooth, easy texture that will appeal to kids. And us 20-somethings, too, frankly. 

The winner: 365, hands down.

The Non-Stir Grocery Store Staples 

These peanut butters are the ones that are easiest to find at just about every grocery store or bodega. They’re the brands we grew up with, and the ones easiest to eat right out of the jar. 

Reese’s Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $4; walmart.com

All three of us were ready to dismiss Reese’s peanut butter, expecting it to taste more like the candy than anything we want to put on a sandwich. But we were wrong. While it was definitely one of the sweeter peanut butters, it wasn’t offensive. The consistency was wonderfully creamy. We could imagine this being a great base for cookies, a peanut butter cheesecake, or even a buttercream. And we wouldn’t hate to find it smeared on toast. 

Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $3; target.com

Skippy was super sweet—in a faux-caramely, fake way—but the aftertaste was bitter. It tasted nostalgic—”like the Lunchables version of peanut butter,” said Alex. But it seemed liked that if we ate any more of it, we’d get a stomachache. Gabbie grew up on Skippy, and said, mildly shocked, “I can’t believe I liked eating that for so many years.” We’ll pass on this one. 

Jif Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $3; target.com

With the disappointment of other childhood favorites fresh, I’ll admit I felt nervous to try the peanut butter I grew up with. I didn’t need to be. Jif was mildly salty with a well-balanced sweetness. It was “more natural tasting” than a lot of our other grocery store picks—which is to say, it actually tasted like peanuts. My childhood memories could remain intact. 

Peanut Butter & Co. Smooth Operator

Buy: $21 for 6; amazon.com

Cute label aside, this pick had an almost disturbingly thick, heavy consistency. While the initial taste was a-okay—salty and appropriately peanut-y—there was a strange, brown sugar aftertaste that we didn’t love. It was fine! But it won’t turn into our go-to. 

Peter Pan Creamy Peanut Butter

Buy: $3; walmart.com

With a gritty texture, bitter flavor, and aspartame-y aftertaste, people actually said “ew” after tasting this contender. We’ll pass. Forever. 

Winner: Jif. Choosy moms are right.

But we were unanimous in our decision for overall winner: Whole Foods’ 365 Organic Creamy Peanut Butter knows what’s up.

[spencerthorpe]

Insider City Style Guide: Vancouver

Take a trip to Vancouver with professional designer and fan of all things vintage, Ena Kenny, in this insider guide to British Columbia’s world-class city. We’ve got designer stores, great eats and historic sites — and oh, those views!

Getting to know Vancouver

On the west coast of Canada is beautiful Vancouver, a city that boasts mountain views, waterfront and beaches, idyllic Stanley Park and the Vancouver Aquarium, eclectic Granville Island and the Emily Carr University of Art + Design, and of course, great shopping, food and drink.  This guide will touch upon some destinations in Yaletown and on Commercial Drive, a couple of interesting neighbourhoods beyond the downtown core.  Yaletown is on the south side of Vancouver, the historic site of the western terminus of the Canadian Pacific Railway, built in the late 1800s. More recently, a mix of retail, dining and office spaces have sprung up in this area.  Commercial Drive, or just “The Drive” as locals call it, is a neighbourly area east of downtown. It’s easily accessible by taxi or SkyTrain, the light rail system introduced for Expo 86.  You’ll find plenty of casual dining, cafés, green spaces, and interesting little shops.  In the springtime, the city is abloom with cherry blossoms.

Shopping Vancouver

designhouse/Marimekko

This stylish shop carries many favourite designer brands including Blu Dot, Kartell, Alessi, Iittala, Pablo, Huppe, Normann, and Chilewich.  They also have a custom furniture line, designed and built in Vancouver.  All of their wares are available online and ship internationally.  For the traveller, there are many small, unique items to bring home.   designhouse shares space with Marimekko Vancouver, which is Canada’s only Marimekko Concept Store. You can browse the brand’s small housewares, clothing, textiles and accessories, all in a space beautiful staged with Marimekko products.

851 Homer Street, 1.604.681.2800, www.designhouse.com; On Instagram @designhouseca, 1.604.609.2881, www.marimekkovancouver.com; On Instagram @marimekkocanada

The Cross – Decor and Design

Located in Yaletown, this gorgeous shop has been open for fourteen years, and features dreamy home decor, art, lighting, baby gifts, jewellery, and more.  Wander this huge old warehouse space, and come away with the perfect gift or addition to your own home.  Locals can make use of interior design services and a gift registry; for out-of-towners, The Cross offers international shipping.  We loved the stationery area, with its unique party favours and decorations, as well as the seasonal displays.

1198 Homer Street, 1.604.689.2900, www.thecrossdesign.com, On Instagram @thecrossdesign

Suquet Interiors

The original location, opened by husband and wife architects, Ramon Masana and Georgina Tapia, is found on Granville Street in Vancouver.  They began by sourcing fireplaces mantels and other architectural salvage.  We visited the newer Yaletown location, where a recent rebranding by their son, also named Ramon, has added an array of modern furnishings and accessories, and local art.  Prices definitely lean to the aspirational, but it’s worth a visit for the eye candy.

www.suquetinteriors.com, Yaletown: 101 – 1014 Homer Street, 1.604.687.0316, Granville: 3039 Granville Street, 1.604.739.0345, On Instagram @suquetinteriors

Mintage

This fantastic 3000 square foot shop on “The Drive” is one of the best sources of vintage goods in Vancouver.  You’ll find great quality vintage clothing, footwear, housewares, leather goods, jewellery, sports paraphernalia, and collectibles in person, and you can also shop on their Etsy page. Beautiful indigo dyed scarves from Bali and silver jewellery were among the contemporary goods also available.

1714 Commercial Drive, 1.604.646.8243, www.mintagevintage.com; www.etsy.com/shop/mintageclothingco, On Instagram @mintageclothingco

Exposure Home

This family run and locally owned shop on “The Drive” features brick walls and a soaring tin ceiling.  Exposure Home is a go to for unique home furniture and decor.  On our last visit, there was a cheerful display of succulents, botanicals and terrariums. As always, there were unique throws, pillows, lighting options and small works of art, as well as modern furniture.

1616 Commercial Drive, 1.604.253.5808, www.exposurehome.ca, On Instagram @exposurehome

Eat, drink, coffee

There are so many fantastic options for food and drink in Vancouver, especially for seafood, and always an emphasis on healthy, fresh ingredients – the below are a few places we stopped in to recently.  We would go back to Vancouver for Railtown Café’s pistachio donuts alone!

Eat

We fell for the delicious baked goods and coffee: a frittata sandwich with roasted mushrooms, arugula, and Swiss cheese, and the most fabulous pistachio donut you can imagine

Hapa Izakayam – Japanese

One should not visit Vancouver without eating at a good Japanese restaurant.  An izakaya is a sort of casual Japanese gastropub, where one might go for a drink after work.  At Hapa Izakaya in Coal Harbour, dine in the gorgeous, dimly lit interior, or in good weather, sit on the patio with a spectacular view of Canada Place and Vancouver Harbour.  Sample the beef tataki with a cold beer, followed by rice or noodles in hot stone bowls.  For a lighter meal, consider “Hapa Hour”, Mondays to Fridays from 3:00 to 5:30, when small plates such as ika (grilled squid), and fish or karaage (chicken) tacos, are served.

909 West Cordova, 1.604.420.4272, www.hapaizakaya.com/locations-coal-harbour, On Instagram @hapaizakaya

WildTale – Coastal Grill

WildTale serves fresh seafood in an upscale but friendly setting in Yaletown. The deep patio is heated and covered, perfect for the occasional Vancouver shower.   The seafood Pappardelle was outstanding, as was a nightly special: a trio of Arctic Char, BC Salmon, and Basa fillet, served with a lemony herbed risotto and grilled vegetables.  A nice selection of oysters is available, as well as a seafood tower featuring house ceviche, oysters, lobster tail, clams and mussels, shrimp, and tuna carpaccio.

1079 Mainland Street, 1.604.428.9211, www.wildtale.ca, On Instagram @wildtale

Jamjar – Folk Lebanese Food

Visit this lovely little resto on The Drive for excellent Lebanese food and a warm, inviting atmosphere.  It’s been such a popular spot that a second location recently opened on Granville in downtown Vancouver.  The hummus, freshly made daily, is said to be among the best you’ll get in the city, and is also available, along with other dips and dressings,  for sale in “jars to go”. There are plenty of good vegetarian and vegan options on the menu, as well as interesting cocktails, like the “Souk Saida” with rum, Campari, 7 spice and orange syrup, or the “Lady Harissa”, featuring Pisco and rosemary lime syrup.

2280 Commercial Drive, 1.604.252.3957, 1488 W 11th Avenue, 1.604.733.2211, www.jam-jar.ca, On Instagram @jamjaronthedrive

Vancouver Art Gallery Café

In every city, one must stop in to the art galleries, and Vancouver’s should be no exception.  Even if you don’t have time to peruse the galleries, on a fine day, the Vancouver Art Gallery Café is a worth a visit and can be accessed without entering the gallery itself. It has a huge outdoor seating area perfect for people-watching, nicely shaded with large umbrellas.  Choose from a selection of soups, sandwiches, quiches, fresh salads and tempting desserts – we tried a slice of heavenly peanut butter pie, and an airy lemon strawberry cake. The café is licensed so treat yourself to a glass of champagne or one of the British Columbian wines on offer.

750 Hornby Street, (in the Vancouver Art Gallery), 1.604.688.2236, www.thegallerycafe.ca/cafe

Drink

Tangent Café

This is a venue for “gathering friends around great food and beer”.   The menu is an interesting mix of options under the headings “west” – think eggy breakfasts, burgers, wings and salads for lunch and dinner – and “east”, in this case, Malaysian.  Try the green beans or eggplant cooked with spicy Sambal sauce, a curry, or Mee Goreng, egg noodles stir fried with tofu and bok choy.  Later in the evening, take a spot on the patio, choose from a great selection of craft beer on the patio, and enjoy live jazz.

2095 Commercial Drive, 1.604.558.4641, www.tangentcafe.ca, On Instagram @tangentcafe

Cactus Club Café

A lovely walk to take in Vancouver begins at Canada Place, follows along Coal Harbour, across Denman Street, and ending at English Bay.  We came upon the Cactus Club Café there, when it was a bit drizzly, and stayed for a glass of wine and snacks.  This is actually one of a chain of restaurants, founded on the West Coast, that now have locations in British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan and Ontario in Canada.  The menu is based on fresh local ingredients of dependably good quality, including Ocean Wise seafood. We loved the interior of warm woods and expanses of glass facing the water.  Here you are perched as in a lightbox on English Bay, with sweeping views of the beach and the mountains.

1790 Beach Avenue, 1.604.681.2582,  www.cactusclubcafe.com/location/english-bay/, On Instagram @cactusclubcafe

Coffee

Prado Café

The signature robin’s egg blue cups and saucers caught our eye as we passed by the Prado Café on “The Drive”, as did the cross street (East 4th Avenue) lined with cherry blossoms. Prado Café is known for fabulous baked goods, 49th Parallel Coffee Roasters coffee, and using local, organic and fresh ingredients.  All-day breakfasts including “The Prado”, a poached egg with mint pea avocado smash, arugula, and prosciutto on toast, and waffles with ricotta, honey and pecan. Pick up some home made granola to go!

1938 Commercial Drive, 1.604.255.5537, 100 West Hastings Street, 1.778.379.4315, www.pradocafevancouver.com, On Instagram @pradocafe

Railtown Café

We visited the Railtown Café on Howe Street in downtown Vancouver, one of three in the Vancouver area.  We were drawn in by the black, white and red interiors, and charming graphics and signage, but we fell for the delicious baked goods and coffee.  Perfect for breakfast, lunch or a coffee and snack, we sampled a breakfast burrito with black beans, egg, roasted onion and peppers, and jalapeño Monterey Jack cheese, a frittata sandwich with roasted mushrooms, arugula, and Swiss cheese, and the most fabulous pistachio donut you can imagine.  A location on Granville Street is coming soon in 2017.

968 Howe Street, 1.604.428.8255, 1691 Main Street, 1.604.336.2251, 397 Railway Street, 1.604.428.0800, www.railtowncafe.ca, On Instagram @railtowncafe

Small Victory – Bread and Coffee

The scones with clotted cream and jam are worth the trip to Yaletown.  The menu is updated daily with various salad and sandwich options, beautiful breads and croissants. Enjoy an espresso and a slice of salted caramel cheesecake in an interior clad in warm wood and cool marble, with gold accents.

1088 Homer Street, 1.604.899.8892, www.smallvictory.ca, On Instagram @sv_bakery

Stay

Fairmont Pacific Rim

This gorgeous luxury hotel designed by architect James Cheng overlooks Vancouver Harbour, with a view of North Vancouver and the snow-capped mountains beyond.  Its amenities include an outdoor heated pool and jacuzzi, a fitness centre and the Willow Stream Spa. Outside, look for the futuristic Bocci “16” LED trees, by Omer Arbel.

1038 Canada Place, 1.506.863.6310, www.fairmont.com/pacific-rim-vancouver, On Instagram @fairmontpacific

OPUS Hotel

Named one of the Top 15 Hotels in western Canada last year, in the Condé Nast Traveler’s Readers Choice Awards, this modern boutique hotel is located in Yaletown. Enjoy beautiful and colourful guest suites in a vibrant neighbourhood minutes from the waterfront.

322 Davie Street, 1.866.642.6787, http://vancouver.opushotel.com, On Instagram @opushotel

Rosewood Hotel Georgia

This stately 90 year old hotel is a city of Vancouver protected heritage property.  Situated in a prime location in downtown Vancouver, it was restored by Toronto interior design firm Munge Leung in 2011. Imbibe a 1920s era cocktail while tucked away in the Prohibition Cocktail Bar on the lower level, or indulge in contemporary Canadian cuisine at the Hawksworth Restaurant on the hotel’s ground floor.

801 West Georgia Street

1.604.682.5566, www.rosewoodhotels.com/en/hotel-georgia-vancouver, 1.604.673.7089, www.rosewoodhotels.com/en/hotel-georgia-vancouver/dining/prohibition, 1.604.673.7000, www.rosewoodhotels.com/en/hotel-georgia-vancouver/dining/hawksworth-restaurant, On Instagram @rwhotelgeorgia

Travel

Travel to Vancouver from London non-stop via Air Canada, Lufthansa, or British Airways, with flights starting at about £750.  Vancouver City Centre is about a twenty minute taxi or a half hour SkyTrain ride from Vancouver International Airport via the Canada Line.

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Feature image © and courtesy Jakobradlgruber/123RF. All other images © Ena Kenny or respective locations featured.

The post Insider City Style Guide: Vancouver appeared first on The Idealist.

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