#Like god. We really are so fucked I'm telling you

[jayparked]

hii!! congrats on 1k! ^^ can i perhaps get 47 + 75 with jungwon? <33

"jungwon, please! it's too much!" you cry out, tears staining your cheeks while your boyfriend relentlessly pounds into your pussy. he has you sitting on top of the bathroom sink in some random person's house, the music from the party downstairs vibrating the walls around you. it's the one thing you try to focus on in order to hang onto your sanity. jungwon has already made you come twice now and he's showing no signs of stopping anytime soon.

he watches the spot where your bodies connect carefully, lips parted slightly as he pants with each hardened thrust. his tongue pokes out to swipe along his bottom lip before he looks into your eyes, his own cloudy with determination.

"not stopping," his words come out ragged as he continues to put everything he has into each thrust, "someone else thinks they can fuck you better? im gonna make you come so many times on my cock that you'll never doubt that i'm the only one who can do this to you. only i get to ruin you like this, you hear me?"

"wh-? what are you talking about?" your eyelids are fluttering now and you're desperate to ignore the way your bruised walls clench around him.

"heard some guy talking about you, eye fucking the hell out of you too. said he could probably make you come in less than five minutes," jungwon scoffs, "well i made you come in one minute. and i bet i can do it faster if we were at home." a darkness flicks across his iris's and suddenly he's gripping you even tighter, moving your legs higher up on his waist.

"i want you to scream my name," growling, jungwon grabs your hips and pulls your body in pace to his thrusts, each one harder than the last and it's a miracle you can even understand what he's saying with the way you're so fucked out.

"th-there are people outside this door. you want everyone to know we're having sex?"

"well, this isn't about them now is it?" he grows more aggressively, lips now attached to your collarbone, nipping and sucking on your flesh until pretty little red marks appear.

you try to hold on, you really do. but jungwon lifts you off the counter and holds you against his body, using his upper body strength to bounce you on his cock while he leans against the bathroom wall. the squelching is getting louder as your ability to hang on dissipates.

"fuck! yes! jungwon right there! oh my god jungwon please!" you dig your nails into his shoulders and flex your leg muscles around his waist, his pace still not letting up.

you were doing just fine until suddenly, jungwon's voice drops to a lower register, his tone even and demanding, "that's it baby. tell everyone i'm the only one who can ever make you feel this good."

suddenly, without any warning, you're releasing on his cock once again, his name leaving your lips with a scream that rips through the house right as the music goes silent between changing songs.

for part of my 1k follower celebration send me a member and a number from this list and i'll write a short drabble about it ♡ masterlist

[theactualsunshinechild]

Seeing this post always immediately reminds me of a fun story from early on in my relationship that my partner and I affectionately refer to as

The Can Opener Incident

This was back in my college days. That semester I was living in a dorm that was more like a collection of small apartments on the very fringes of campus territory. My partner had come over to spend the night at my dormroom, and we were going about making some pasta in the little kitchenette. The pasta was already fully cooked and strained when we suddenly encountered a problem:

The canned pasta sauce I had bought was not a pop top, and rummaging around the kitchen for a can opener revealed that I had neglected to bring one.

Not one to settle for miserable, dry pasta on a cozy home date, I ran over to the dorm room next door and asked to borrow a can opener. They're a little startled to find someone knocking on their door at 9 PM, but they let me borrow it with no resistance. Upon bringing it back is when the problems truly began.

You see, all of my life I had used a can opener which you latched to the side of the can and twisted the knob to make the sharp ring cut into the top of the can vertically, parallel to the side of the can. This one looked similar, all the right parts were in the right places, so I gave it a shot... but nothing happened. My partner comes up and tells me I'm using it wrong, and I think to myself "oh, okay, so maybe he's used this kind of can opener before, I'll let him at it," and I hand it off to him.

The can opener my partner has used his whole life is the kind that you latch on to the TOP of the can, so instead of holding the handle at the side, you're holding it horizontally over the top of the can. I didn't know that kind of can opener even existed, so when he tried using this one his way, I looked at him like he was insane. This look quickly intensified as this method also didn't work. Things rapidly went downhill from there. He defensively explained the way his can opener at home worked, and I started pointing to the structure of the can opener and arguing why this one wouldn't work that way. We're a little frustrated, but it's nothing some pasta can't fix, so I propose I simply go over next door to the people who I borrowed the can opener from and ask them how to use it.

As I reached over to take it from him, he held it out of my reach.

"No! I'll figure it out myself!" He announced.

"What? Why? It's easier to just ask the owner," I argue, jumping around trying to get at the items.

"Because I can figure it out!"

Okay. Fine. I guess he wants to solve this like some kind of puzzle for enrichment. I give up and I wait. The fiddling begins. I'm standing there watching him try increasingly improbable methods of getting that thing to work over and over. The pasta is getting cold. He's testing methods that have already proven not to work, trying new methods that physically couldn't work, then trying the ones that have already failed us all over again. My stomach growls.

"We should really just ask," I grumble, hungry and frustrated.

"No, I've got this."

He does not fucking got this. I want my goddamn food and I do not have time for this puzzle solving.

"Give it here."

"No."

"I'm just gonna take it to the owners and ask them to show us how to use it, you can come with."

"No! I want to figure out out myself!!"

"And I want my food god fucking damn it!!"

This went on for a bit. The pasta was drying to the side of the pot and getting crusty. At some point during this yelling match I got so pissed off that I stormed out of my own apartment into the cold with no coat on.

'I need to make him see reason!' I thought to myself, making my way through the snow. One building over was where two of his friends were rooming together. I knock on their door, boiling with rage. It is 10 PM.

"Hey, can you come over? [Partner] is being completely unreasonable and obstinate over figuring out how a can opener we borrowed works and won't let me take it to the owner to ask. Please help me convince him to hand it over, I'm literally too short to wrestle it from him."

"Alright, let me grab my coat."

We head back over to my place to find my partner Still Messing Around with that godforsaken can opener.

"Let me see that for a second," says his friend, taking his coat off. I experienced a moment of relief, thinking to myself, 'Finally!' as my partner pouted for a second, but relinquished the can opener.

This peaceful glorious relief fizzled out into horror as his friend began to try to open the can the same way I had.

"That's weird. It really looks like it should work this way..." he mutters.

"Try it from the top, that's how my parents' works," my partner suggests.

"No no, that won't work, just give me a second to figure it out."

Oh my fucking god.

I stared blankly, watching them study the can opener and turn the can this way and that, both completely absorbed in finding the solution to this hour long problem. I was going to lose my fucking mind. Perhaps in that moment I really did. Shellshocked, I stood, wondering how it had come to this. I just wanted some fucking pasta and a relaxed night in, and instead I've gotten these goddamn STEM majors milling around in my kitchen at 10:25 PM arguing over how to use a can opener that isn't even mine. So I went and did what, in retrospect, I should have done ages ago: I went next door for help.

I can't imagine what my neighbor must have thought of me, showing up over an hour after borrowing their can opener, looking as if something inside of me had died, and, with a hint of desperation in my eyes, begging them tearfully to come next door and show us all how to use their can opener. Over an hour after borrowing it.

Well, whatever they thought of it all, they did oblige my pleas. Their arrival thankfully broke up the debate, and as all three of us watched intently as hawks over their shoulder, they cracked open that can of pasta for us.

Using it the exact same way I had tried at the start of it all.

It was just dull.

"I don't need a shopping list; with effort, I will remember that I need this item"

Okay but will you be able to remember that you already bought it? Because apparently I can't.

[mawrmyy]

Gold Dust Woman || Rupert Campbell-Black x Taggie O'Hara

wc: 2.5k

warnings: 18+ minors dni !! this is basically just porn but they're so in love, oral f!receiving, fingering, unprotected piv (wrap it up y'all!!), nicknames (Angel, Sweetheart), Rupert is WHIPPED

a/n: HI!! this is my first time publishing something in forever, and my first time EVER publishing something like this!! I'm trying not to be nervous about how well this does because honestly I had so much fun writing it! Hope you enjoy <3

link to this work on ao3

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

“I can’t breathe without you,” Is what he’d told her, before kissing her until the both of them were breathless. 

One hand around her waist, resting on her hip bone, while the other cups the back of her head tenderly. He’s licking into her mouth, a kiss that is all teeth and tongue and every ounce of desire that has piled up throughout these long months of watching from afar. 

Rupert is a bad man. He knows it. He’d promised Declan that he wouldn’t touch Taggie, and at the time he really did plan to keep that promise. 

But Christ, Taggie, with her copper hair and her golden freckles, with the loveliest goddamn smile he’s ever seen. Who’s lips he just found out taste like cherries and sunshine and yeah, he’s fucked. Absolutely, irrevocably fucked.

She’s the first to break away, gasping for air. Rupert rests his forehead against hers, praying she doesn’t notice the slight tremble in his hands where they rest upon her body. 

“Come over,” he whispers against her lips. “When the party’s over, I mean. If you’d like.” He can see a flash of hesitation in Taggie’s eyes, but just as quickly as it came, it’s replaced with something else, something deliciously sinful. 

“Okay,” She tells him with a soft smile on her kiss-bruised lips. Rupert huffs out a relieved laugh before ducking down to kiss her once again, this time slower and sweeter, savoring the taste of her on his lips.

There are footsteps nearby, faint voices growing louder, and Taggie jumps away from him, straightening out her blue dress. He immediately misses the warmth of her in his hands, the way her body felt beneath his fingertips, internally cursing the bastards who dare disrupt this moment. He clears his throat, trying to act as natural as possible, picking up a bottle of wine from the table and reading the list of ingredients. 

Taggie washes her hands in the kitchen sink, splashing cold water on her face and steadying herself against the marble counter.

Charles walks into the kitchen with Caitlin beside him, talking about God knows what. They stop rambling when they notice Rupert and Taggie’s decidedly unnatural stances.

“We were just–” Caitlin says after an uncomfortably long pause, bursting into a fit of giggles before she can finish her sentence. 

“Just grabbing a glass of water!” Charles finishes for her, barely keeping his composure as a smile threatens to break out on his lips. Caitlin gives her sister a double thumbs-up before her and Charles run out of the kitchen, laughing loudly. 

Taggie is looking down at her hands when Rupert glances back at her. He can make out the bright red flush of her cheeks, her eyes wide with embarrassment. He can’t help but smile to himself at the sight of her– the way she’s practically glowing under the warm yellow fluorescents, how she looks like the sun itself. 

He comes to stand behind her, hands finding her waist once again like a moth to flame. His fingers move to brush her hair to one side and he presses his lips to the back of her neck, lingering there for a long moment before whispering into her skin.

“I’ll be waiting, Angel,” he says, before disappearing back into the crowd in the other room. 

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

He’s a bad man, is what Rupert thinks to himself as he paces around his sitting room, mindlessly biting his thumb. Of course Taggie wouldn’t come. What was he thinking to himself, asking that of her? She must’ve come to her senses. After all, he’s rotten, tainted, old. Old enough to be her father. Christ, he’s a bloody idiot.

A knock at the door shakes Rupert from his thoughts. He rushes towards it, swinging it open quickly. The second he sees her standing under the doorframe his heart warms, all of those dreadful thoughts he’d had just a moment before dissolving immediately. 

“I’m so sorry,” Taggie apologizes breathlessly. “Daddy drank too much and insisted he wasn’t tired, he just wouldn’t go to sleep. And Caitlin, she kept nagging me, asking where I was going and I just couldn’t get her to stop,” She keeps yammering, and Rupert just smiles, eyes scanning her face, her freckles, her lips. 

“Taggie–” He tries to interrupt, but she keeps blabbering out apologies. Saying something about having to clean the kitchen. His smile grows wider, fonder, on his lips. 

“Tag.” Rupert says, firmer this time. She finally pauses, catching her breath and looking up at him. “It’s alright,” He assures her softly, before cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand. She melts against him, nestling into his warm skin. 

They stay like that for a moment, gazing into the other’s eyes, relishing this fleeting feeling for as long as they can.

Taggie is the first to lean in, tilting her face up and rising to her tiptoes. Rupert catches her lips with his, kissing her softly. She tastes so sweet, like citrus fruit and everything he’s ever wanted. 

The kiss is gentle and tender and it’s not enough. Taggie’s fingers curl into his shirt, pulling him closer to her. His hands greedily roam all over her body— neck, chest, back, hips, arse. She’s still wearing the same blue dress she wore at the party, and Rupert feels absolutely feral, gripping the back of her thighs hungrily.

He drinks her down like smooth whiskey. He can’t seem to get enough.

Taggie breaks away from him for just a moment.

“Bedroom,” She gasps out breathlessly, before wasting no time and kissing him again. The two of them scramble to his room, laughing into the other’s mouth at every item of furniture that they knock down on their way there. 

Rupert pauses when they reach the doorway, taking the time to kiss her properly, devouring her like a man starved. Still, there’s something sweet about it, how he takes her bottom lip between his teeth, the curl of her fingers on the nape of his neck. 

With a surge of confidence, Taggie unbuttons and shucks Rupert’s trousers and pants down, planting her hands on his chest and guiding him to sit on the edge of the bed. She blushes furiously as she toys with the buttons of his shirt, her lovely fingers trembling just slightly. He smiles fondly at her, and she smiles back nervously. 

A single, reckless thought crosses his mind—

Mine.

Taggie pushes Rupert’s shirt over his shoulders, fingers tracing over the defined muscles of his upper back. He melts like butter in her hands, letting her mould him to her liking. 

With Taggie standing between his thighs and his clothes discarded somewhere on the tiled flooring, he hesitantly runs the pads of his fingers over the line of her collar bone, following its trail to the sleeves of her dress. He looks at her, waiting for approval. The decisive nod of her head is all the confirmation he needs before slipping her dress down her body. 

She’s standing almost completely bare before him, cheeks flushed rosy-pink, and he’s sure he looks like a disheveled mess because fuck, she’s heavenly. The northern lights, the stars, every wonder of the world pales in comparison to the sight before him.  

“Oh, Tag,” He says breathlessly, before pulling her down and kissing her hungrily. His cock is impossibly hard by now, and Taggie takes notice, stroking him lightly. Rupert groans as soon as she touches him, and he can feel her smile against his lips. 

She stands up straight, guiding him to sit against the headboard of the bed. He complies easily, but not before taking her with him, tugging her into his lap so that her thighs straddle his middle. She laughs at his eagerness, and the sound of it is like windchimes, like goddamn music to his ears. He kisses her neck, right below her jaw, and she lets out a content sigh, her eyes fluttering closed for just a moment.

He guides Taggie’s hips with his large hands, rocking her back and forth on his lap. He can feel how wet she is through her plain cotton panties. Her small, breathy moans make him see stars.  

Normally, he’d take his time. Tease her until her lashes are dewy from tears, make her fall apart with his fingers, his tongue, before finally sinking into her. But tonight he’s impatient. He’s just a man, is what he’d like to say, but honestly he’s not so sure if that’s true. Tonight he feels so animalistic, so feral for her, that he’s not so sure he’s even human anymore. After all these months of secret glances and fisting his cock late at night to the thought of her– he needs her now.

In one swift motion, Rupert rips her panties off, tossing the torn fabric to the floor. Taggie lets out a small gasp, and he can’t help the smug grin that curls onto his lips. She leans down and kisses it right off, still slowly grinding her wet cunt over his dick. 

It seems he’s not the only one that’s desperate tonight, because moments later she takes him into her hand and lines his tip with her weeping hole. She sinks down onto him slowly, panting out shallow breaths, and Rupert’s fingers dig into the fat of her hips because Jesus Christ, if he doesn’t steady himself he’s going to come right now.

And she looks like an angel on top of him, glowing under the pale moonlight, and he wishes he could worship her like she deserves, but right now he’s just desperately focused on not blowing his load. 

His fingers travel from her navel up her soft tummy, cupping her perfect tits, before descending once again and drawing slow circles on her clit. Her eyes squeeze shut at the delicious pressure, and Rupert swears he’s positively drunk on her. She's so tight around him, so wet and warm, and she looks like sunshine incarnated and feels like everything he’s been missing. 

“Tag–” He rasps out, “Fuck, please– slow down, sweetheart–” but she can’t hear him, her ears ringing at the overwhelming pleasure when he hits that sensitive spot inside her. 

He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to think of anything other than how it feels like she was made for him. 

But he fails.

He comes with a guttural groan, painting the inside of her cunt white. He covers his eyes with his hands out of embarrassment as he feels Taggie’s movements come to a sudden stop above him. The room goes completely silent for a few moments. 

When he looks at her, she’s staring at him with her eyes wide and mouth agape.

“Did you just–” She starts, and Rupert grunts shamefully.

“Shit, Tag, I’m sorry,” He apologizes softly. Her expression remains the same, and Rupert wants to bash his head into the nearest wall. “I’ve never– this has never happened before. I don’t know what– fuck, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,”

Rupert may be an asshole, but even he is well-mannered enough to make a woman come at least twice before he even lets himself think about his own pleasure. He expects Taggie to be angry. Perhaps a slap to his cheek. God knows he deserves to have some sense slapped into him. 

His heart tightens at the sound of soft laughter above him. She’s giggling, pink lips parted and eyes sparkling brightly. She leans down to kiss him, and he lets her, cupping the back of her head in the palm of his hand.

“You’re not mad?” He asks when they part, and her brow furrows as if he’s just asked her whether or not pigs can fly.

“Of course not,” She replies, so sweetly and earnestly that he has to physically hold back from saying those three words he’s been itching to tell her for a long while now.

“Besides,” She continues, the corners of her lips turning slightly up. “I think it’s kind of sexy, how you can’t resist,”

Rupert huffs out a laugh, quickly maneuvering the two of them so that he lays on top of her. Taggie squeals at the sudden movement, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Good,” He tells her, trailing kisses down her body until he’s sitting on his knees between her legs, “Because you can hardly blame me, Angel.” He takes her foot in his hands, placing the heel to rest on his shoulder and pressing a tender kiss to the ankle. He continues kissing and nipping up her thigh, higher and higher and—

“Oh!” Taggie says with a gasp, just as he nearly reaches her core. Rupert halts his movements.

“You don’t have to– I mean, no one’s ever done that for me before–” She mumbles, and he smiles, cutting her off by pressing a feather-light kiss to her inner thigh.

“Idiots,” He mutters into her skin, souring at the thought of Ralphie and how he most likely never considered Taggie’s pleasure before his own, if at all. 

“Please,” He says. “Let me make it up to you, Angel,” He scans her face, waiting for her reaction. She lets out a shaky breath, before giving him a single nod. 

He wastes no time, flattening his tongue and licking a long stripe from her pussy up to her clit. She lets out a loud moan, her hands flying to his hair. She tugs at his dark locks in an attempt to pull him impossibly closer. Rupert loses himself in her, lapping at her sweet juices. He looks up at Taggie from where he is between her thighs, watching her freckled chest rise in fall with every gasp of air she breathes. 

Her whines are the sweetest poison, and he hums into her wet heat, completely surrounded by her. His large hand snakes around her to squeeze the soft flesh of her arse, and he can feel her breath hitching, cunt tightening around his tongue. He presses a kiss to her clit, pushing two long fingers into her entrance and curling them inside her, searching for the spot that’ll make her scream. 

Taggie’s getting close. He can feel it with the way she clenches around him. Her moans get breathier, shorter, before she goes completely silent and still, eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Rupert climbs up the bed to kiss her, still pumping his fingers in and out of her, letting her ride out her high. She kisses him back with fervour, tasting herself on his tongue, and he groans into her mouth.

He wraps his arms around her, and she places a soft kiss to the center of his chest before resting her cheek there. 

She feels like home, he thinks to himself over and over.

“Don’t get up tomorrow,” he tells her as he mindlessly traces patterns with his thumb on her bare back. She hums noncommittally in response, her own hand resting on his hip.

“I mean it, Tag,” He tells her. “Stay with me. Let me make you pancakes,” She’s quiet for a long moment, contemplating.

“Alright,” She says finally, and he can hear the smile in her voice. “As long as they’re not burnt,” She adds. 

He snorts at the cheeky comment.

“No promises, Angel.”

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Hope you enjoyed this little drabble! I'm literally so obsessed with these two it's not even funny 😵‍💫

[jaal-ama-daravv]

dissecting act 3 & emmrichs final romance scene (mortal & lich)

dissecting the graveyard scene dissecting the mortal romance path scene dissecting the mortal emmrich argument scene (all routes) emmrich x rook cinematic (mortal)

lich version dissecting the alternate romance path dissecting the argument scene (lich path) dissecting the emmrich romance scene (lich) mortal vs lich romance path emmrich x rook cinematic

look this is half a thirst trap post im not gonna lie to ya

ACT 3 - OH MY GOD.

Now. We all know that dreaded argument scene that fills us with angst and really gets us in our feelings for the final 4 hours. which was 100% done on purpose, thanks bioware, you succeeded. i did in fact regret that conversation and cried immensely

We have the argument with Emmrich, then we have our mini resolution of Emmrich trying to apologise, and Rook responding with, "We'll talk back home Emmrich, I promise."

Fast forward an hour, and ive just about pulled the plug because emmrich gets trapped by Ghil, someone dies, and then we are sucked into the fade - trapped. FOR WEEKS.

I truly wish bioware included flashbacks, or rook being able to see the lighthouse whilst they were trapped so that we see our LI panic, and fret. Can you imagine Emmrich? The last conversation they had was a fight, and a fight that stemmed from love at that. regardless of the route you took, both rook and emmrich regret that argument deeply. I mean deeply. And most likely regret not saying, i love you in that moment. or any moment. god when emmrich got sucked up by ghil i was locked IN. nothing was stopping me.

Emmrich wouldn't of been able to sleep, he wouldn't of been eating, he would've been working day AND night like a dog on the dagger. he wouldve been irritable, he wouldve been incessant, he wouldn't of been put together, not clean shaven. id bet money on this.

despite bioware not giving us a good reconciliation scene or a glimpse at what happend during those weeks - BOY DID THEY FUCKING EAt with the pulling you out of the fade section. Oh my god. Emmrich's voice being timed right after Varric saying with "You have everything you need", AND THEN PULLING YOU OUT OF THE FADE WITH HIS ARM.

anyway - AFTER T H A T.

You have the romance scene (mortal dissection | lich dissection)

and then my god - i have no words - literally - just look

goodbye ovaries

The Final Goodbye (Mortal/Lich)

Now these are the exact same for both mortal and lich, ill tell you when its different below - to which this is dissapointing as I feel like the final romance scene is so 'meh'? it's very idk, scripted. I feel like there needs to be a dip in emmrichs voice when he says i love you to rook - maybe its just me, but regardless, its meh meh to me. the whole scene is just kinda -

I'll skip to the romance part anyway as there is nothing of substance in the first half

1. I love you, too.

I feel like - underwhelmed with this response. its just slapped on like a bumpersticker

2. I'm glad we met.

I cannot believe that this line of dialogue is hidden beneath the most basic of thought processes - i love it

its emotonal - its hopeful

YESSSS - PLAN WITH ME!!!! This is digustingly impactful if playing the mortal path. the man has hope for the future. oh I need not say more for its delivered so wonderfully.

HEHE

3. Be safe. I can't lose you.

I thoroughly enjoy this path, I feel so much emotion from Rook and Emmrich in these lines. the worry, the love. although it is kind of a shock to the system because we still went from. OH MY GOD DEATH, to oh yeah death with Emmrich.

exactly how the argument scene should've went, BUT, I get it, now if only we had a reconciliation scene in the middle or a conversation, i'd have no notes and be out of business

Now here is the divergence, of like two lines, that occurrs directly after the above dialogue

Lich Version

Mortal Version

its sweet, its sensual, its loving. but there no oomf. theres no, fear. the mortal version is my preference here as I like the slight reminder of emmrich being alive. in saying that, considering what we have been enamored with and reminded of at every single quest of his. but in the last romance dialogue its, gone? the fear overcome? one line, one word makes a difference. idk man. like I have my full speculation that there is a sequel with rook and companins again, and if there is ill let this go. but if this is it, WITH no epilogue screen? please, as much as i like fanfiction and headcanons and art. id like it IN the game.

a fantastic romance, but a stale last conversation. IN SAYING THAT. I choose to look past it as much as possible as it is sweet and I just love him.

ANYWAY, love you all, im pen for questions and the full emmrich dissection with all my very detailed explantions is coming in a few days

♥

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Sensitive.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x afab!reader

Words count: 1300 (more or less, I added something just before posting it)

Warning: + 18, MDNI

Summary: You make Frankie come just by playing with his nipples. That’s it, that’s the fic LOL

Tags: pov second person, reader has breasts, nipples and hair, no other description of her is given, pwp, nipples play (YAS we play with the man’s nipples wooo), ice cubes, swearing, pet names (baby, honey), established relationship, dick pronouns for @sp00kymulderr’s challenge, kissing, Frankie obviously has a huge cock, I think it’s all? Let me know if I missed something and I will add it right away.

A/N: I've been wanting to do this for a while now because I'm a big fan of nipples (gender neutral, folks, we don't discriminate here, I can love a variety of them) and those Pedro pics yesterday uhm…inspired me lol English is not my first language, I have no beta, any mistakes are my fault, I’m so very sorry 💀

I also did it because every time I use the translator to check my English, whenever I type something nipples related, the translator always uses she/her and it pisses me off.

I hope it's not cringe, if it sucks pretend you've never read it, please, I love you all bye.

I started a tag list, let me know if you want to be added, thanks so much!

Frankie has sensitive nipples.

You discovered this by accident, while you were in bed together after he had fucked you like a god. Your hand wandered over his chest and brushed against his areola. Frankie fidgeted, tried not to show it but the involuntary flinching of his body spoke for him.

He kissed you right after just before you could ask anything so you didn’t investigate any further but you were so intrigued by it. You kept thinking about the way he squirmed under your touch for days and craved to do something more for him.

You have a thing for nipples. For his especially.

Both because you love him and because they are delicious. You also don't like the fact that yours get all the attention while his have always remained two neglected little buttons on his chest while you’re pretty sure you could make good use of them.

Tonight is the time to change that, at least to try.

As you kiss on your couch his hands instantly fly to your tits, he massages them, squeezes them and as much as what he's doing drives you crazy you keep thinking that you would like to do something for him.

“Frankie” you breathe between kisses and he whispers on your lips “what, honey?”

“Nothing… it’s just…”

“What?” he interrupts you “did I do something wrong?”

You smile in front of his worried eyes “no, you’re perfect, really. I just…” you hesitate but in the end you spit it out “I would love to try something new”

Frankie smirks under his mustache “uh, what’s in that scrumptious little head of yours?”

You giggle, feeling your courage grow as you slowly run a hand over his chest still covered by his shirt, starting from his neck, down his collarbones and then his pectorals.

“I would like… uhm… I would like to play a little game”

Frankie’s eyes sparkle with curiosity mixed with excitement “you know I like games”

“Okay, do you trust me?”

“Of course I do, baby” he says right away, brushing your arm gently and looking you sweetly in the eyes.

“Let’s go to bedroom then”

You stop in the kitchen to get some ice cubes that you put in a glass as he watches you, still confused but definitely aroused “What are those for?”

“You'll find out soon enough” you take him by the hand grinning, lead him towards your room which has now become yours and you have him stand in front of the bed.

“Take off your shirt” you order him “and your jeans”

“I already like that,” he chuckles.

“Lie down,” you tell him soon after, playfully pressing a hand to the center of his chest.

You place the glass on the bedside table and undress, remaining only in your underwear while he cranes his neck to look at you and licks his lips full of anticipation.

“My favorite view…” he whispers and you giggle, crouching on the bed right next to him “Now listen to me, you can’t touch me but I’m going to touch you, okay?”

Frankie sighs “okay”

“Can you behave for me?” you raise an eyebrow watching him ironically.

Frankie lets out a more convinced “yes” and you praise him “such a good boy for me”

You brush your fingertips over his chest again, going down over his sternum, then over his stomach and belly, stroking the thin strip of hair that disappears into his boxers. "I think he'll like this," you whisper, watching his half-erection rose from beneath the fabric.

“He’s looking forward to it” he nods with a crooked smile.

Of course he expects you to touch him right there, but your hand goes back up letting a little protest leave his lips.

You stop on one of his nipples and your fingers graze all around the areola.

Frankie squirms, widening his eyes, mouth agape “oh fuck, is that what you want to do?”

You purr “exactly. Can I go on?”

Frankie swallows air, his Adam's apple pops in his throat, then murmurs, “Go ahead.”

“Shall we bet he will come untouched?” You suggest.

“We’ll see. Don’t make him wait further, gorgeous, do your thing” he urges you.

You begin to caress his skin, moving closer and closer, Frankie watches you mesmerized as you feel his body tense under your fingers.

You rub his areola again and then pinch his nipple. He gasps loudly “Oh fuck”

“Everything okay?” You murmur.

He frowns noticeably and nudges “yes.”

You alternate between pinching and rubbing, feeling his breathing get heavy and shorter as his cock swells under his boxers. You shift only long enough to pull them down and expose his huge engorged dick to your view.

“So much better” you purr “I need to see him”

You return to your seat beside him and remove your bra, smiling mischievously at him. Frankie tries to raise his hand to reach out to feel you but you rebuke him, " Hey, no! You can look, but don't touch, remember?”

He blurts out, “That's not fair,” and you chuckle, “I feel like he's doing just fine anyway. The best boy," you tease him.

You take an ice cube and pass it over your lips, you suck on it lightly and small drops of water slide down your chin, you place it back into the glass as Frankie lets out a needy moan. His pupils are dilated and his lower lip quivers slightly, he is absolutely delicious.

You reach down and your nipples brush against him, “You can feel them like that, can't you?”

He sighs “yeah…okay”

You stick your cold tongue out and run it over his and he groans “oh baby”

You eye his cock rise higher and higher until it comes flapping against his tummy, hard and swollen and its pre cum begins to drip from the tip along its length.

Your tongue circles his nipple, again and again, then you flick it and you nibble it lightly and Frankie's back arches as he gasps, "Holy fuck, baby, you're killing me."

Your mouth and ice-cold lips stir all his nerve endings just as you expected.

You smile pleasantly impressed against his skin ”you like that, huh?”

“God, yes” he breathes “fuck”

He groans loudly when you detached, taking an ice cube again and sucking it between your lips, then lean over his chest to reach the other nipple as you continue to rub the other with your fingertips.

His chest rises and falls faster and faster as your tongue strikes sharply and precisely, your other hand resting on his arm to steady you.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop please I’m so close” he whimpers “fuck - just like that baby”

You continue until his cock is on the verge of bursting, then you move your hand to take it and finish him off.

“Come for me, Frankie, come on” you urge him “Give it all to me, baby” just like he does every time he’s in control and his response is immediate, he comes in your palm after a few strokes, long streaks of sticky cum painting your hands and his tummy as he whines.

You get between his legs to suck him clean, welcoming his cock between your lips and giving him what he wanted from the beginning after what he didn’t know he needed.

You suck him until he softens and then you lie in his arms, quietly enjoying his warmth. He is the first to break the silence, after kissing your nose and your forehead "damn, baby, you knocked me out"

You lift your gaze to his and smile "you didn't imagine that huh?"

"He didn't imagine it either," Frankie laughs.

"I told you he would like it" Frankie caresses your cheek and you reach out to kiss him, his taste still on your lips. "next time you play with mine while I play with yours" you coo.

He retorts, “just give me some time to rest and I’ll show you right away”

Thank for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

Tag list: @aurorawritestoescape @baronessvonglitter @almostempty @thundermartini @harriedandharassed let me know if you want to be added or removed and I’ll do it right away ♥️

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 7

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7])

THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE 4 ENTRY I SWEAR

agatha: why yes I'm listening politely because I'm being sociable, not because this story concerns me in any way shape or form

she did NOT want TO DO IT AGATHA. HE WAS HER SON TOO AGATHA. did you ever give her a chance to SAY any of THAT. damn rio is (metaphorically) fighting for her life here. waiting centuries to catch her wife with her guard down next to a random fire, and then reworking her LONG PLANNED SPEECH into bite sized easily digestible bits so that her emotionally stunted soulmate doesn't run away screaming

I was doing MY DAMN FUCKING JOB agatha

agatha looks away like whooops! wasn't listening! wasn't looking at you! no sir, not me!

that's right. acknowledge her feelings. show her that you understand but that you're hurting too. be mature. you're doing great. god the way she swallows and stares right ahead, so determined. this is such a crucial moment for her.

agatha: i'm stone cold. I'm a wall. this is not affecting me in the slightest. I'm bored, really.

lilia not missing a word of what rio's saying

lmao the neutral pronoun lasted two seconds. she's not even trying to pretend like she isn't talking about agatha. and the way she nods to herself like yes, I did the best I could with this. so, there.

"she is my scar" is going to the sapphic annals, isn't it?

LMAOOOO the unblinking cat stare. rio is like I WAS TALKING TO YOU DUM-DUM. I KNOW IT, YOU KNOW IT, EVERYONE AROUND THIS GODDAMN FIRE KNOWS IT. CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE FUCKING TALK TO ME PLEASE DEAR GOD

and agatha doing a teeny tiny side glance and going whoooooooops not looking! I'm NOT looking! I'm not even here! and scrunching her face more and more trying to keep it blank

AND she's gone. she's so predictable lmaooo. every dang time.

awkwaaaaaard

rio with her soft smile again! with the little amused eye roll! never getting mad at agatha's antics. she's like FINE I'll come after you, you BIG BABY. the patience this woman has

lilia is so scared of rio because somehow, through her exceptional Seer abilities, she knew instinctively that this is her mortal foe. but something funny has just happened: here in front of her there's just a regular little guy, a bit odd maybe, doing her little thing, trying to talk to her ex. might it be... might it be that death isn't a monster, that it's just a thing, a strange but natural thing that happens to everybody? lilia cannot accept that quite yet. so she grabs rio and says no, no. I've seen what you are. you're scary, you're evil, you're dangerous. this is lilia's survival instincts kicking in. we are simply wired to fear death, that's just how humans are. it takes an exceptional mind and soul to see past that.

oh god, here we go, here we go. deep breaths (I'm telling this to myself tbh. i need the pep talk)

stroking her hair so gently. soft, tentative.

hey, subtitle people??? what the fuck??

rio just stands and stares. lets agatha decide what comes next, goes at her pace always

the haiR CARESSING

the HUG. the BIG SIGH. this bitch was running away screaming from rio just yesterday. and here she is. her love. her partner. she finally acknowledges rio's pain and all that they lost and all that they were (and still are tbh) to each other. THIS is what rio was looking for. she's not flirting to manipulate and deflect now, she's not being somebody else. this is agatha cracked open and bleeding love and sorrow

and they melt into each other, and they're rocking each other back and forth, with all their pain and tenderness and longing

agatha with her face buried in rio's shoulder. I'm unwell

and then agatha gently pushes rio back and strokes her hair and cradles her face like she did so many times before and leans in and here I am giving you a play-by-play and running a commentary like a totally normal and sane person would

you know what makes for a perfect onscreen kiss imo? no it's not tongue, although these two will give us plenty of that too. it's the TREMBLING. THE HESITATION. THE YEARNING.

rio and her superhuman willpower. couldn't be me.

and and and and and agatha looks at her puzzled for a second and doesn't register what's happening and dives for a kiss again she's so far gone. the feral animal noises I'm making you have no idea

THE ICY SHOWER

THE STEP BACK. THE MOST PAINED SMILE

THE REGRET

I think one big reason why agatha is always so calculated is because she's afraid her instincts will take over. she does something big and spectacular and stupid and then calls it a 'calculated risk' when it was actually a rush of fear, desire, sorrow, anger that she couldn't control. tonight rio has managed to poke a little hole into a carefully constructed dam, and now all the water is rushing out and tearing down the walls. agatha has rio in her arms and her shape, her scent, her skin are so nostalgic and familiar. her brain goes on autopilot, she's been lonely for so long, she is FAMISHED for love and connection and sex and acceptance. rio wanted her to open up, but agatha doesn't do half-measures. rio wanted her to give for a change, but agatha can only ever take.

rio HAS to put a stop to it. she puts logic before heart, one of them has to and you know agatha isn't gonna. more than anything rio wants to take this one perfect moment and run away with it, but instead she tears herself away and asks, what happens next? what happens if I have to take billy away from you? that reanimated corpse, that freak of nature who walked into your life only yesterday and took over?

billy is now part of the equation and rio cannot ignore it. she has been so gentle and careful with agatha, easing her into a reconciliation that is now in jeopardy because here comes billy maximoff like a sword of damocles! what happens if agatha takes her back only for rio to break her heart all over again? there would be no coming back from that. rio cannot help being the grim reaper just as much as agatha cannot help being a succubus, and she is almost at her breaking point here. because she is hurting too! she is sick of having to be the mature one! she's sick of always coming in second after all of agatha's issues! turns out there's a limit even to the heartbreak an impossibly old and wise being can take.

(and now I need a smoke and a future episode that is just 30 minutes of hot but soft cuddles and kisses and sweet nothings. please.)

once again a big shoutout and thank you to all the people reaching out and leaving comments, it's incredible to hear from you all @crybabyheathen @onceuponalegendbg @idkbroletssee @psychicsolanum @73chn1c0l0rr3v3l @a-tad-bit-obsessed @a-rusty-bucket-of-woes @miacheezytoon @isagrimorie @april-december @aquaaquila and I'm probably forgetting someone but I see you all and I appreciate you so much!

[eerna]

jesus. yeah thank god for preaching the truth about arcane season two. i mean it had its moments - really, REALLY good moments, and by hell it looked AMAZING - but holy FUCK. what a terrible time to be a fan of ekko. or mel. or jinx. or vi. or viktor. or ambessa. or sevika. and probably more i'm missing (ISHA!!!).

i completely agree with everything about the zaun vs. piltover situation ... just not happening this season? first with shimmer - listen i am not the biggest fan of the chembarons lol they look nice but their characters are. Fine. but if you're going to hype them up in the second episode make them WORTH something, right? and then if you're going to hype up the new jinxers, make THAT worth something too!! would it have been so hard to have a bunch of zaunites fly into piltover following jinx? i mean, that's what everyone THOUGHT that scene would be? you had sevika LEAVE the council meeting. why don't you have jinx convincing her to help. and ekko's with jinx. why wasn't he reunited with the firelights? you're telling the fucking firelights would leave zaun? no but it's just them i guess. and sevika and other zaunites enter the fray at essentially the same time so you would have to change nothing but whaaaatever who gives a fuck.

SPEAKING. OF. EKKO. WHAT THE HELL? his FINAL scene in this show is him mourning jinx and being completely alone. we can have that scene, OBVIOUSLY (given that jinx dies - or fake-dies - which i have my own problems with) but... can bro get a seat on the council? please? can we have like a scene with him and sevika walking in and he nods at sevika or something. i know people were complaining about it being mostly pilties and just sevika at the council meeting but i LOVE that. genuinely. shows us that progress is going to be slow (wow crazy. arcane having realistic class issues in their show about class issues), but can it not be just sevika? and can ekko get some fucking credit for SAVING PILTOVER? sure sure sure it was jayce and viktor but WHO THREW. THE GODDAMN ZDRIVE. AT VIKTOR'S HEAD? EKKO. jesus sorry i'm just crazy upset about that.

i wish they also didn't just have the council in piltover? if we're being given an independent zaun (ARE WE BEING GIVEN AN INDEPENDENT ZAUN??????????????) can we maybe have meetings in zaun too? one of those cute little transitions behind sevika's head where they're meeting in piltover's council room and then we go to the meeting room in zaun? like fucking what? or maybe zaun isn't fucking independent what were we watching this show for. if you're going to keep zaun as part of piltover and leave that part open can you maybe elaborate more than sevika like... sitting down. im a bitch for subtext but at some point it's not subtext it's being lazy??

and meljay. not sure what else to say here tbh like i don't even love them and i thought they were handled so poorly. at least they had chemistry in season one? the fuck was their reunion in act 3? negative chemistry. jayce is imagining viktor. why does he have more chemistry with viktor. big jayvik fan btw im a big fucking jayvik fan but can it NOT come at the expense of an established ship? porque no los dos? like hello? does meljayvik mean nothing to the writers? if you're going to have shippers putting the JayVik Agenda (which admittedly i think is very real of them) into the show can you COMPROMISE ABOUT IT. like considering mel's lonely ass ending and ekko's lonely ass ending there might be a goddamn pattern here.

wow. speaking of lonely ass endings. JINX. MY GIRL???????? breaking down her "death": we have jinx, safe, on a ledge. and we have vi and warwick about to fucking die. vi is faced with two options: try and save warwick (bring back vander) or go to jinx. vi isn't AWARE that trying to save warwick is going to come at the expense at jinx, but WE do, and the WRITERS do. the option of saving warwick or going to jinx is the SAME FUCKING OPTION as the jinx vs. powder question at the end of season one. does vi try and bring back a dead man (one who is GONE, who represents jinx and vi's past coming back to haunt them) or does vi try and accept her trauma and forge a new future with jinx?

...she chooses vander. like ok. yes. that makes sense given the amount of time vi has had to process that vander is alive. and a wolf. and then dead. and then back. and still a wolf. and then fighting them. and then not fighting them. im not expecting her in that situation to take jinx's hand and move on. but if that's the case can the arcane writers then.. give her time to process? because this isn't GOOD. this isn't good for vi. this isn't good for jinx. also do you know what also isn't good for vi OH MY GOD CAITLIN. CAITLIN ISN'T WHY DID THEY HAVE SEX AFTER JINX WAS LIKE "SORRY SIS GOING TO KILL MYSELF" LIKE HELLO VI YOU HAVE OTHER PRIORITIES THIS IS JUST LIKE WHEN YOU LEFT EKKO ON THE BRIDGE WHAT. HELLO. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

"im the dirt under your nails" no vi caitlin is the blood under yours.

sorry ok this isn't all my problems with arcane season two but i just realized i've been ranting in your inbox for what's probably over 100 words so maybe i should stop now. sorry bro i may or may not make my own post now mb

NO PROB it's big feelings and opinions time here on eerna dot tumblr~ It's just a terrible time to be a fan of the show methinks. I don't think a single character emerged on the other side of this season by having been done right.

I hated the way the Zaunites refusing to help Piltover was treated like some kind of a dramatic "Well, I guess THEY aren't joining US" scene. Usually we get to see both sides so you don't feel like either side is the main character, but that was such a horrible "You, the viewer, are a Piltie now, and the way Zaunites act will from now on be used as plot twists only" POV. Sevika showed up that way, Jinx and Ekko showed up that way - not as main characters, but as supports to Vi and Cait and Mel and Jayce, the Good Pilties.

"im the dirt under your nails" no vi caitlin is the blood under yours. is such a badass quote, bro!!! I have nothing to add, you've said it all, thanks for sharing~

[imaginespazzi]

niviiiiii where you at my love??? need your game recap and your crashout over ur wifey being back on the court!!

48 hours later, and now that I can remember the game for more than just Azzi because really that's all I could think about on the actual day, I do have actual game thoughts:

Thank god I had that cloud of happiness about Azzi coming back because if I didn't, I think that game might have actually killed my soul because quite frankly, I didn't think that game was great by any stretch. And listen I love my alums, I love seeing them, love their support etc. etc. but please for the love of god, they can never come to a game against a real opponent and they needa stay so far away from the team during March/April.

The one thing I did enjoy: SARAH FUCKING STRONG. She was just so good and she really just does everything on the court at such a high level. AND THE THREES ARE FALLING! Like everyone should be really scared because Sarah is the real fucking deal.

Thank god Paige lowkey had a good second half because if she'd kept playing the way the she did that first half, the discourse would've been unbearable and I wouldn't have even stepped into defend her like girlie was doing her best *not* to beat the allegation from ND last year. But as always, when she wasn't contributing scoring wise, Paige did everything else. Grandpa should've let her get that double-double.

I like that Ice seems to be becoming consistent with what she does

Thank god for KC in the first half! That's that veteran experience bleeding through where despite the rims apparently being closed for UConn, she found a way. Hopefully that translates to a higher ranked opponent.

We need more from Ash but I do like that she's being aggressive

JANA GIRL LAYUPS!! Please for the love of god truly nothing irritates me more and I'm assuming by the looks he was giving her, Geno's gonna get on her ass about it.

KK continues to give us that spark off the bench but she's still making some freshman mistakes.

Speaking of sparks, Morgan has a definitive impact that won't show up on the box score, but you see it when she steps on the floor every game.

Allie baby I fear you're gonna have to wait your turn and that might not be till next year

AND FINALLY AZZI FUDD!! Man I was just so happy to see my girl so happy to play and she could've score 0 points and I would've felt like she'd scored 50. Gonna add another anon here because I think they captured it pretty well:

Like obviously she didn't do anything otherwordly but immediately you can tell she's moving well and the fact that she was willing to make shot after missing is a great read on her new mentality. AND THE DEFENSE. I remember Azzi saying that's what she took most pride in, in HS, so if we can get that defensive minded Azzi + her shots start falling, well...Geno might faint out of love for her lol.

Overall with opponents like this, it's all about how you beat them and we didn't do it particularly beautifully but like I've been saying, this is a young team and it's early days. I think the Bahama's will be a great test for them and especially if they get Ole Miss, I think we're gonna learn a lot.

[qrhyun]

[𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓]-𝑯𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑯𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒋𝒊𝒏

𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: 𝑯𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒋𝒊𝒏 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: 18+, 𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑶𝑹𝑺 𝑫𝑵𝑰, 𝒖𝒏𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒙 (𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕)

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒍𝒂𝒛𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕

𝒂/𝒏: 𝒍𝒆𝒕'𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒂 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑯𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒋𝒊𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉 (𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒇𝒄) 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂 𝒐𝒇 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂 𝒇𝒊𝒄 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒉𝒆

The bell rang as you entered the dance studio. You were welcomed by the receptionist at the front desk. "Hi! What can we help you with?" the receptionist asked you. "Hello! I would like some private lessons with one of your dancing coaches, if that's possible." the receptionist nodded and looked through some files. "I'll be right back in 5 minutes!" you go sit on a chair in the waiting room.

5 minutes have passed and the receptionist comes back with a tall handsome man, just by looking at him makes your heartbeat go insane. His long dark hair tied in a small ponytail and his dark eyes full of mystery makes you not able to take your eyes off of him. "This is Mr. Hwang, one of our best coaches" you reach out your hand to salute him "Nice to meet you Mr. Hwang, i'm Y/N" your words were barely coming out of your mouth, "Nice to meet you too! I heard you're looking for private lessons?" he asks while raising his eyebrow.

"W..well yes, i do in fact look for...a d..dancer!" just by him talking to you, made you feel like going crazy. His sweat dripping on his exposed chest even though he was wearing a black tank top that made his well built body prominent like a greek god. "Well Y/N, i'll be your private dancer, but it will be pricey" he said with a grin on his face thinking you would refuse. "It's not a problem,how much?" he giggles as he thinks you will back up if he tells you the price. "150$ per lesson" you giggle as you look inside your wallet, "quite cheap i see" his eyebrows rise as he hears what you just said. "Here's 150$ dollars, just tell me when we will start" you cross your arms while leaning against the wall.

He smirks "Tomorrow at 6 pm,make sure to not forget" you hand him the money and leave the dance studio "See you tomorrow Mr. Hwang" "Call me Hyunjin." he giggled "Ok see you tomorrow then Hyunjin." you call a taxi and go straight home. Your mind was set on him,his lips made you wonder how would it feel to kiss them,you quickly snap out knowing you just met but he already set his charms on you. You arrive home and you throw yourself on the couch. You decided to scroll through insta and you found his account by "mistake" of course it's not like you were looking after him on insta just to stalk him, you press the follow button and instantly he follows you back. He texts you and you two begin chatting, you both really have a lot of things in common like painting,reading and playing sports. He texts you his number and you instantly save it.

THE NEXT DAY-

You woke up late as fuck, you couldn't keep an eye closed because how excited you were for today, you get ready and head directly to the studio. Arriving at the studio you were surprised to find Hyunjin there alone, usually this place is really crowded. You drop your bag and go to the front desk where he was. "Hi Hyunjin! Why is this place so quiet?" the man raises his head "Well i've told them that today is closed" you were surprised to hear that "Ok...but why didnt you tell me too?" he gets up smirking "Because i want no one to interrupt our private dancing lesson" you pick up your bag and head over to the locker room "I'll get ready then." "Okay i'll wait you in the dance hall."

You got ready and headed over to the dance hall, he was there already dancing, his hair was tied with a white ribbon into a ponytail. "Oh, you're ready?" you nodded, he then grabbed your hand and put it on his shoulder while he moved his hand on your hip. He showed you the basic steps of dancing and to his surprise you were a quick learner. While you two were dancing you slipped but he caught you before you hit the ground. "Are you ok?" You were speechless for a long minute, he looked so beautiful and his sweat dripping over his face. "I am ok,don't worry. Let's do this!"

Hours were passing and you two still were dancing, while taking a break he takes his drenched tank top off revealing his refined abs, only the sight of them made you choke on your water. He looks at you while he's drying himself up with a towel. "What you looking at?" you tried to change the subject but he insisted on you answering his question, he got closer to you and you could see his bulge through his gray sweatpants. "At nothing Hyunjin...i was staring at nothing" he back up taking the water bottle near you "You don't mind if i drink it?" you nodded. You two got back to dancing but this time it was so hard for you to keep your focus while you were flashes by his abs and especially by that bulge.

You two took a break again and started talking about various things, like love life. "M/N are you dating someone?" he was curiously asking "No i don't, but there's this person that i like but i don't know if he likes me back, we barely just met a few days ago.." he raises his eyebrows "So you wouldn't mind if i do this?" You raise your eyebrow looking at him curiously, unexpectedly he pulled you in passionate kiss, you could taste the salt from his sweat but you didn't mind it, those lips were feeling exactly like you imagined. "I already know that person is me, so dont you worry i also laid my eyes on you since the first day i saw you" he then picks you up in his hands and carries you to his office,the room was quickly filled with the sound of your moans and kisses.

He was kissing your neck moving slowly lower with each kiss, and god he knew how to use that mouth, he then started sucking your nipple while slowly massaging the other one. He grabs your crotch making you leave out a loud moan "Hyunjin..." He thenpulls down your pants leaving you exposed in front of him. He opens a drawer and takes a bottle of lube and applies it on his fingers and rubbing them against your entrance you shiver as you feel the cold lube coated fingers, you tremble as you feel his fingers go inside you. His fingers were long just enough to touch you sensible spot, it was enough just to make you cum. "Enjoying that, sweetheart?" he said in his soft spoken voice.

"Hyunjin..i want you...inside...please" he pulls out his fingers and opens the drawer looking for condoms. "It seems that i don't have any condoms left." you didn't cared at all and pulled him closer to you "I don't care, go raw!" this is what he just needed to hear, he pull his pants down in an instant and positions himself before entering your hole. "Are you sure you can handle it?" you look down at his member "I-i can handle it!" he quickly puts the tip of his cock inside your soaked hole leaving you breathless, he groans as he pushes even deeper inside you "Damn you are so tight but it feels so good!" his pace increases slowly and he pulls you into a passionate kiss.

"Hyunjin...it feels so...GOOD!" you scream making him thrust into you even faster. "You love it sweetheart?" he growls reaching even deeper "I LOVE IT!" you don't know what's gotten into you but you kept moaning his name over and over, he starts laughing under his moans "You know...it's kinda funny how we barely know for 2 days and you already opened your legs for me,moaning my name and begging for my cock..ain't you such a little slut?" he starts thrusting with an abnormal speed making you losing your breath and mind. He leans closer to your ear and whispers "It feels so good being inside you, i love how you take my cock and how it is pulsating inside you, if you could only feel what i feel right now." you wrap your legs around his waist pushing him deeper and pulling him into a sloppy kiss, your faces being soaked in sweat and saliva. "Hyunjin..I-I'm gonna cum" you moan as you got closer to your climax. "I'm also cumming sweetheart" With a single thrust he cums inside you making your body stiff. He waits a few moments before he pulls out not wanting this moment to end. "Damn sweetheart, you completely drained me" he said as he watched his cum mixed with yours leaking out of your cunt. He then picks you up and carries you to the studio's showers where he cleans you up.

After all that you were getting ready to leave the studio and as you put the foot ouside Hyunjin came running to you. "Wait Y/N!" You look at him curiously "Did something happen Hyunjin" he looks down shyly "No..but i wanted to ask you, if you wanna have dinner with me tonight, i mean after all that "training" you must be hungry." you giggle as you see the man who earlier was fuck the brains out of you being shy to ask you out. "Sure i'd love to!" his face lights up at your response.

Definitely you will have "private dancing lessons" with him again.

[wholelottaprompts]

ᡣ𐭩 Emails I Can't Send Prompts ᡣ𐭩

from the album Emails I Can't Send, by Sabrina Carpenter

"And I still make excuses for you constantly."

"Sorry that I pulled the 'it's not you, it's me.'"

"You're not my friend, and baby, you never were."

"It's times like these I wish I had a time machine."

"Whatever, you're a waste of time."

“Oh, so you do have a type."

"Where else can we go?"

"I hate the way you left me dry."

"Give me a second to forget I ever really meant it."

"Don't say sorry now."

"One day, I'll make sure you get a real apology."

"I tried to look for the best in the worst."

"Oh, so you can reply."

"I'm so tired."

"You want me? I'm done."

"I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me."

"You're lucky I'm a private person."

"I'm over that son of a bitch."

"Don't make me cuss you out."

"You're so vicious."

"Nobody gets my jokes, everyone here thinks I'm fucking rude."

"Why were you somewhere else when you were next to me?"

"I can't help it, it's a habit."

"You act like a bitch."

"I never saw him and we never kissed."

"There's nothing left here to decode."

"Were you lying to me and the family?"

"If you wanted brown eyes, I could have got contacts."

"You don't feel remorse."

"That never made too much sense to me."

"I can't read your mind."

"Why'd you let me down?"

"You knew I would see that."

"Looking at you got me thinking nonsense."

"Bet you wanna love me now."

"How do you do this to me?"

"Tell me what's gonna happen."

"You knew I would notice."

"I'll drive you home."

"I don't even know, I'm talking nonsense."

"I want you there sometimes."

"She looks nothing like me."

"Your signals are mixed."

"Everything reminds me of you."

"I know you know it keeps me up."

"You drive me crazy."

"Chase me."

"Did you even give a fuck?"

"You disgust me."

"Now I'm a homewrecker. I'm a slut."

"Tell me I was more than just a decent opportunity."

"Why do you look so happy?"

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thanks to you, I can't love right."

"I know now even if I tried to change that somehow, you'd end up with her anyway."

"You fit every stereotype."

"Does she step out of the spotlight so you bathe in it?"

"Now I can't even look at you."

"You said I'm too late to be your first love, but I'll always be your favorite."

"I know what you're about to say."

"Does she get up on top of you more than I would?"

"He had it coming."

"I deserve my own consideration."

"I look up from my phone and think there's no chance it's you, but it is."

"He's good for my heart, but he's bad for business."

"I've got death threats filling up semi trucks."

"How am I supposed to close the door when I still need the closure?"

"All my friends think I've gone crazy."

"I care, but I don't."

"Please fucking fix this."

"Tell me that you miss me in your life."

"It feels so good not caring where you are tonight."

"You were all I looked up to."

"Was I being lied to?"

"I got ways to find you anywhere."

"You miss me? No duh."

"Maybe we should do this on purpose sometime."

"It was all so innocent."

"What the fuck is patience?"

"I can't even stomach loving someone else."

"God, I love you, but you're such a dipshit."

"You're good at impersonating someone who cares."

"I bet your house is where my other sock is."

[yveshiver]

Rafe Cameron - Late.

Lana Del Rey - Pretty When You Cry

The weekend was awful and you wanted to talk to someone that saturday night. Not just someone, but him. Yet you know the rules that both of you have set: no texting, no calling, no meetings. No need to repeat the past mistakes, but you just know you can't keep yourself off him. Today you need him, to feel yourself falling into his strong arms and feel as if nothing else exists in the world. No wondering how you didn't crash to some random car on the road since your head was full of other matters. Your mind drove you to his new little place, the apartment he got on the Silence Road. The phone showed the time 01:13, a bit too late for the friendly visit, and yet again, you are nowhere to be friends, not anymore. You got out of the car, the nights were getting cold and you stood there thinkin it over and over again, "Am I ready to lose him one more time?". And then you made one step closer to the entrance door, one more and few more. Two knocks at the door and no reply, you knocked again. "Yeah, it was fucking stupid I should just leave before anyone notices" and you start to stride back to the car breathless.

-No way. - He showed at the door in shorts only, topless and barefoot. His buzzcut was getting a little long, the goosebumps from the cold showed on the muscles all over the body and you noticed a little tattoo of a boat on the rib.

-I am sorry, I should have not come here. - Your tears started to show. - And you were asleep and it's late and we agreed not to ever.. do this.. again.. I'm… - You were lost of breath, the panic was getting you, it felt as if the ground beneath your feet was dissapearing and you were ready to fall.

-Hey, princess, I'm here, hey.. - He stepped closer to you.

-You can't go out like this, you'll catch a cold, it's very…

-Hey, it's ok, don't worry about me catching a cold, hey… - He was so close, he got your face into his hands trying to find the reason for this sudden appearance.

-Rafe, I'm sorry. - You couldn't look into his eyes. - I'm so sorry for being here, I know that we… - Tears were streaming down the face.

-It's ok, hey, look at me. Please, baby, look at me, I need to know what happened, you are safe with me, ok? It's ok, c'mhere. - He held you in his arms as close as it was humanly possible. He placed your head onto his chest, his arms were cuddled to you. For the first time this day you felt safe, it was such a liberating feeling. You stood there with your eyes closed knowing you can finally relax in his arms.

-Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby, ok? You are safe here, you know that. It's ok. I do wish you told me the reason of the tears tho. - He got your face into his hands once again, you always loved when he did that.

-I feel so helpless, I know I can't bother you with my things.

-Hey, your things are my things, I got you. - He put your strands of hair behind your ears, his fingers brushed through you hair as you tilted you head to his hand. You looked straight into his eyes, the striking blueness of them always swept you away. The colour of the sea, the colour of the sky, the colour of everything that gave you hope and comfort. Now they shined brighter in the night. You wanted the moment to last forever, but you knew you only had this night. You got out of his arms, took the breath of fresh air. He noticed you getting away and looked so worried.

-Hey, why don't you come inside and tell me everyhing, huh? - You felt as if he didn't want you to go away.

-Rafe, do you think it's a good idea?

-Sure. - He tried to seem unbothered, putting his hands into the pockets of the shorts. - Why not, and it is really chilly outside. - He shugged the shoulders. You noticed the freckes on them, oh God how much you loved these freckles.

-Why not, I can't let you get cold because of me, right? He started walking to the door checking if you were following. All you knew is how much you wanted this night to last forever, how much you wanted to feel him close to you, to look into his eyes, to have his hands holding you. You might not have another day with him, but at least you have tonight, right?

[veilkeeper]

Act 3 Emmrichmance: Lich Edition

alt title: if you're really determined, "'til death do us part" is only a suggestion

okay so, after the point of no return some pretty major stuff happens in the romances. @/crossdressingdeath and i talked in DMs about how, as far as we can tell, all the romances have some sort of unfinished business going into the endgame. in the lucanismance, it's him cutting rook off from saying they love him, in the davrinmance it's a discussion about davrin's fear that one of them is going to die just as he's starting to imagine a future with them, and with emmrich it's The Argument™—which as i've discussed before, is emmrich and rook having an argument about his insecurities. in the lich path, which is what i'm specifically talking about here, the argument is about his concern that rook is going to die at some point, and his fear that he's going to mourn them forever. the argument is left unresolved after some pretty intense back and forth, where rook calls him out on pushing his insecurities and fears onto them, and they have to shelve it to head to tearstone island.

to their credit, they do try to apologize to each other. in banter on tearstone island, emmrich very clearly regrets starting an argument, but he and rook both agree that now isn't really a good time and that they'll talk when they get home.

and then rook almost dies in front of him and gets thrown into fade jail by solas.

uh oh!!!!

if this isn't the manifestation of all his fears, i don't know what is. for all intents and purposes, he has lost rook. he's sure they're alive—trapped in a prison meant to hold gods, but alive—and since he's a lich i have every confidence that there was not a moment of rest in the weeks it took to rescue rook. he's their fade expert, he's the best equipped to find them, and he has to, because otherwise the last real conversation they had was an argument he never got to apologize for, and he will have to live with that guilt for an eternity.

i really have to wonder if he ever would have been able to bring himself to stop looking for them.

and while i suspect their LI is always the first person to grab a hold of rook to pull them out of the fade, there's a special flavour to it when you're romancing emmrich. knowing that he's probably been obsessively trying to find them. the sheer relief he must have felt when he reached through the veil and was able to get his hands on them, to pull them through and back into the safety of his arms.

he fusses after them, too. urgently takes them to the necropolis so he can be extra certain that solas' hold on them is gone. he was afraid he'd lost them forever, he wasn't going to waste any time making sure they'd be as safe as they can be. and then he says,

"I will let nothing part us again, my love. Not in this nor any other world."

he says it in that level, sort of indulgent tone that he says all his romance lines in, so it's easy to mistake this as him being poetically hyperbolic. but let us never forget that this is the man with such a profound fear of death that he became a lich just to avoid it. he's not half as well-adjusted as he likes to appear.

when he says he would not let anything separate him and rook again, he is dead fucking serious.

he wakes them up at dawn despite knowing they need rest—i think, perhaps, because it isn't enough to have them breathing in front of him. that he needs to hear their voice and have the reassurance that they're here and real and alive and safe, at least right now. "I would move the world before I lost you again," he says later. before the final fight against elgar'nan, he says he has plans he wants to make with rook, that he wants to be safe and at home with them. if i had to guess, i'd say rook i going to have a hard time shaking him for anything after this. i don't think he's ever going to feel like they're safe if he can't see them. hope you like a clingy boyfriend.

it's kind of the inevitable conclusion to what i was talking about in my sacrifice of souls meta—none of his actual fears around death and dying and grieving have been addressed, and he's hitched his wagon to immortality. and now that he's almost lost rook, he's realized that there is no universe where he's ever going to survive losing them for real.

and we all know the lengths he's willing to go to stay alive.

[sarah-denial-cq]

I'm on my knees, looking at another girl who's on *her* knees, looking at me. Someone is standing behind me, my long braid wrapped up in their hand. The other girl looks scared.

"strip.". We're both wearing identical matching bra and panties. We both look away from each other as we take them off, too nervous to look- until I feel a yank, hard, on my hair. "No, look right in each other's eyes. Look at her tits. You're both fucking porn, act like it. "

I feel the hand slap my ass. The other girl winces, seeing the pain on my face. "Tell her she's just porn, just like you. She's nothing."

I look at her carefully. Her makeup is running from crying. She's already been beat quite a bit. "You're just porn. You're nothing." She just looks at me silently. "Keep going".

I look right at her. I try to summon up my contempt for her. She could have been so much. Now she's here on her knees in front of me stripped and crying. So vulnerable. "You're a stupid, stupid bitch" I start laying into her. "You're pathetic. No self respecting woman would let this happen to her.". The girl starts sobbing. I feel the approval from behind me and I can't help but start insulting her and betraying her for the approval of the force of that hand in my braid and the validation I know I'll find there if I just do a good enough job tearing down this victim.

I'm going to make her a victim.

"you're shit. You're barely a person, you just sit there and strip and cry.". I start getting into it. I'm masturbating on my knees staring at this helpless naked loser crying. "Go on, cunt, touch yourself while I insult you.". She's touching herself, one hand between her legs and one on her nipple. I can't tell if she's doing it to impress the one behind me or just to self soothe or because- "fuck, you actually like this? You sick puppy. You're not even rape bait, because I don't think you're even capable of having an opinion on who gets to use you. Nobody thinks of you as anything other than a slutty, easy, fuckdoll. You're going to remember this moment for the rest of your life. I hate you. I hope you get drugged and passed around a party. You deserve to be pinned down by somebody and fucked dry. You, oh my god," the hand is twisting in my hair and this poor girl is absolutely sobbing at all the abuse and I'm filled with traitorous contempt as I realize her flush is half crying and half arousal and I see- "you whore. Don't you dare cum. You sick fuck, you rug munching cock sucking ass eating porn making easy access " I think the bitch is actually going to cum, I feel all the approval in the world from behind me as I realize this is what they want, they want to see if I can truly betray this victim they brought for me to abuse to get them off, this is my value to them, to hurt this girl, I go harder, I feel a hand on the back of my neck, "failure, nobody takes you seriously, everybody just imagines putting you on your knees any time you open your stupid mouth, people on the street look at you and imagine raping you, your colleagues call you names behind your back, you're going to be like this forever, you stupid, stupid, stupid-"

I feel, somehow, the pull on my braid that tells me to shut up. I look at the girl I've been tearing down to earn approval. She's quietly crying. Both her hands have come up to her tits. I hear the voice behind me. "Spit on her."

I... hesitate. Do I really hate this poor girl enough to do that, is she, okay with that? Do I care about that more than I care about doing what I'm told? She looks so afraid. She looks so... you know what? She looks like she deserves it. She deserves it.

I spit on the mirror.

"good girl", I hear.

[innerempire]

The Avengers trying to raise funds for god-knows-what and Natasha comes with brilliant naughty idea of a pin-up calendar of their youngest Avenger. There's nothing like showing some skin, and it's obvious (be it in Twitter, Instagram, Tiktok, or Reddit) that the public unanimously think that the newest addition to the team - Peter Parker - is pretty fucking hot.

Sure, they've not seen his face before, but that lithe body in that spandex? Peter's the only one comfortable with actually baring his ass for the calendar (Steve acknowledges that Captain America's ass is still one of the finest, but he's not fucking baring his ass cheeks for a goddamn calendar).

Thing is, Natasha has to run through the idea with Tony first because she thinks that Stark acts like a unhinged guard dog out for blood when his favorite protege is involved. She's not stupid to try and go behind Tony's back on this.

''I'm sorry, what-'' Tony swipes at his keyboard, interrupting Natasha from her tangent.

''Don't mind him.'' Peter pipes up from where he's tinkering with his latest project. ''He goes 'huh' a lot these days.''

Tony points a wrench in Peter's direction, ''Zip it.''

''Look, we want something that's going to sell. People love Peter in spandex, and what's hotter than hip keeping his mask on and, you know, executing a couple of suggestive positions with his ass showing. Pepper thinks putting him in a thong would make people go insane-''

''Are you-'' Tony rubs at his mouth. ''Did you even sleep after your coming back from your mission with Barton? Or am I the one hallucinating this conversation?'' He tries to mentally compute the last time he had slept.

''Peter said yes.''

Peter's neck is flushed, ''...I figured, since it's for charity...? I do have a pretty nice ass, especially when it's in spandex. So, you know, me in a thong would be-''

''Okay.'' Tony claps his hands together, startling both Natasha and Peter. ''I'm going to get a drink. Preferably something really strong, because I'm going to pretend that you didn't just waltz in here to tell me that you want the kid's bare ass on a pin-up calendar.''

''Prude.'' Natasha clicks her tongue disapprovingly at Tony.

After Natasha leaves, an amused Peter wheels his chair over towards Tony, ''So, which one bothered you more? The fact that people are going to own a calendar with like 12 months of Spiderman's bare ass, or the idea of me in a thong? Or panties, you know, the ones with the bows and frills that you have stashed deep in your wardrobe. I'm assuming they're for me, after you tell me that you've been fantasizing about this. But hey, if they're for you, that's pretty fucking hot too, Mr.Stark.''

A couple of months later, the idea does push through (under Tony's strict supervision). Because Peter's such a little shit, he signs the first printed copy and leaves it on Tony's desk with a note: Do me a favor and film yourself jerking off to the calendar, Mr. Stark. P.S: You'll love the month of May.

Of fucking course the month of May is Peter in the panties that Tony had so generously gifted to him - a gorgeous satiny piece that's gold and red.

The calendar is obviously a hit and during the next Avengers gathering, everyone's teasing Peter to sign their copies.

''So.'' Natasha sidles up to Peter. ''How bad did Tony give it to you for having your bare ass out in that calendar?''

''...they had to use two whole tubes of concealer and a shitload of powder and foundation even after a week after what Tony did to me.''

[myanmardoesnotexist]

Vale is so insane to me because he will pin his student to the bed, tell him he belongs to him, wrap his hand around his throat and then wont touch him at night because that’s crossing a line brother you CHOKED HIM. And then he’s like “Oh boy I sure hope he didn’t feel my raging boner while I pressed him against me, mouthed against his neck, pinched his hips, made him moan and implied I want to KILL HIS BOYFRIEND. Atleast I didnt make my feelings obvious, I so love this little game of ours :))” Meanwhile poor Marc has been blue screening nonstop. VALE HE WANTS YOU TO FUCK HIM YOURE NOT BEING A RESPONSIBLE ADULT WE’RE WELL PAST THAT YOURE TORTURING THE BOY.

And then he sees Andrea one time, implies they fucked, for what?!?, my guy you’ve only groped him, and gets his shit rocked LIKE WHAT DID U EXPECT.

Props to Andrea tho like I would’ve lost my mind wayyyy earlier putting up with those two. Gods stronger warrior for real. And I know Marc, with his equally insane little brain, is rolllling knowing he’s drawn both of them to the point they’re scrapping over him like this guy is so spoilt of crazy.

(Also, what does Tatino mean Google doesn’t give me an answer)

I AM FUCKING DYING THIS IS MY FAVORITE ASK EVER

This is just a perfect representation of my thoughts as I write. Amazing.

Yeah Vale has completely lost the plot. Poor Marc is just laying there five seconds away from hyperventilating and Vale is just like :) what fun :) i'm not making everything worse at all :) I am not making my extreme sexual attraction to him obvious at all :) Marc doesn't suspect a thing :) I should convince this man who despises me I slept with his boyfriend :) This should be fine :)

We will get more insight into Marc's thoughts next chapter (and Andrea's) but I can promise that his response to this.... will not be normal.

I know you guys may be doubting me now, but I promise everything will be okay for Andrea in the end. He deserves to crash out for a bit though. Andrea's reputation era

Oh, also to answer your question:

Tatino is a little nickname in Italian, has no direct translation, but is a term of endearment. Again no direct translation, but it stems from from the word patato which is potato in Italian, but can be used as a cutesy nickname to mean cute (sort of). Usually it is shortened to tato, but if you want to be really cheesy, tatino. I guess the closest thing to a real meaning would be 'cute little potato' but really that is not entirely accurate. I used it because it's what my Nonna calls my Nonno. They are very adorable.

[thedreadvampy]

my friend invited me to go with them to a show tonight

and the thing is it was not good. it was a cabaret with some amazing circus acts but each of them got like. 5-10 minute slots. and were interspersed with 20+ minutes EVERY TIME of some of the most tedious standup work I have ever seen from the MC and the same 5 physical comedy bits repeated ad nauseum. this guy literally did a Borat bit. in the year of our lord 2024. he sang 2 entire rounds of the Family Guy theme.

and it just KEPT GOING. it was meant to be a 90 minute show, which imo is already a slog for a show starting at 11:30PM but within the bounds of reasonable. it finished. at fucking 1:50 AM. ALMOST TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF THIS SHIT. and it did not help that the 5 bits were all of the 'OH NO SOMETHING HAS DISRUPTED THE SHOW' variety which is funny for a bit, less funny when you're literally 45 minutes past the end of your scheduled finish and still fucking going.

HOWEVER. what I did not realise was that this was in fact. my friend's favourite comedian. and if I had known this I might not have gathered up my stuff and walked out during the curtain call and probably would not have announced on the way out, 'that was the most tedious fucking thing I have ever endured.' and I almost certainly, when someone overheard me complaining about the length and tedium and said 'yeah it ran a bit long huh,' have replied, at the actual near-shouting top of my voice, "I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF."

I feel. bad for spoiling the show for them.

in my defence I have been very tired this week, I got home at 2:30 AM, and raked seating really hurts my hips so I was in agony by the end of the first hour. but mostly I'm just a bitch who loves to hate tbh.