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lunarianscorpio · 8 months

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Courtship: Venus Signs (part 1)

Earth signs Desire commitment and a lasting partnership.

♑︎ Capricorn Venus:

Traits:

Loyal, protective, quietly romantic, reserved, thoughtful, and considerate in matters of love, romance, aesthetic, self-worth, and money.

Practical about themselves, understanding their worth in the material world and how others perceive them.

May appear aloof, but knows precisely what they want in a partner.

Will patiently wait for the right person who fulfills their needs and standards.

Prioritizes career or finances during single periods.

Potential imbalance if partnered with a water Mars sign, as they might yearn for love despite being comfortable alone.

Speaks highly of you, openly expressing affection and admiration.

Brings up your name in conversations, showcasing a deep pride and love.

Holds themselves to a standard of perfection, pushing for continuous improvement and sometimes feeling resentful for falling short.

Learns that self-worth is a gradual process, not a forced ascent.

Refined aesthetic taste with a strong inclination towards the arts, especially visual arts.

Enjoys concrete and physical expressions like sculpting, painting, and escaping into books.

Looks for love when it aligns with life plans and flows naturally.

Enjoys darker colors, earth tones, and may favor black without flashy appearances.

Dresses in a reserved, chic, professional, or vintage-inspired manner.

Appreciates rich earthy smells like coffee grounds, vetiver, and rainy woods, as well as clean spicy scents.

Loves food, particularly rich dishes with sentimental value.

Very good with money, enjoys it, and doesn't require much assistance.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to corporate types, mysterious, closed off, enigmatic, classy, and practical individuals.

May be drawn to businessmen, morticians, older people, architects, and mystics, venus in taurus, virgo, capricorn, scorpio & aquarius.

Romantic Behavior:

Takes love seriously with a guarded heart, feeling deeply in love.

Very romantic but often feels like gestures aren't sufficient, leading to inaction.

Shy and rarely flirts, but when they do it's straightforward and to the point.

Indicators of interest include trying to impress through achievements or appearance changes.

Finds dating challenging and tends to avoid it.

In relationships, seeks reassurance of worth, cherishment, and likes to be in charge but remains loyal for the long haul.

♉︎Taurus Venus:

Traits:

Intense, sweet, amorous, dependable, highly romantic, and artistic in matters of money, self-worth, and relationships.

Struggle with self-worth, often comparing themselves to a mental aesthetic and others' looks; need to recognize and appreciate their internal and external beauty.

Enjoys various creative pursuits, particularly art in all its forms, including poetry and fashion; may also have a love for cooking and music.

Craves pampering and security for genuine romantic love.

Adores style and cultivates a unique, expressive fashion sense rather than following trends.

Good with colors, with a preference for all colors, avoiding overly loud or aggressive shades.

Prefers luxurious and flavorful foods, often indulging in sweets; enjoys rich and intoxicating smells like vetiver and Spanish moss.

Envisions an ideal partner but may find it challenging to meet someone worthy.

Values luxury and comfort in relationships.

Willing to test suitors to identify the one truly devoted to love.

Surprisingly, adept at managing money; understands when to save and when to spend, with purchases typically substantial.

Attraction Preferences:

Looks for well-dressed, classy, debonair, and sturdy individuals who are reliable and appealing; may also be drawn to the starving artist.

Finds bankers, farmers, businesspeople, artists, singers, and chefs interesting romantically, as well as venus in capricorn, taurus, virgo, pisces and cancer.

Romantic Approach:

Shy and reticent in matters of the heart due to intense and deep feelings of love.

Signs of a Venus in Taurus crush include becoming soft-spoken, gentle, touchy, or direct stares.

Prefers silent coaxing and seduction, often not outwardly showing intentions but putting extra effort into appearance.

Enjoys giving little gifts and favors to catch someone's attention.

Loves being pursued, feeling special, and indulging in classical romance with all senses involved.

Like Capricorn, can wait patiently for the right match.

Envisions a future with you and strives to bring joy into your life.

Unable and unwilling to imagine a moment without you, showcasing deep emotional attachment

Craves physicality, contact, and commitment for a stable relationship; highly responsive and respects differences to achieve a harmonious equilibrium

♍︎ Virgo Venus:

Traits:

Analytical, helpful, idealistic, altruistic, and witty in dealing with aesthetic, self-worth, money, relationships, and romance.

Struggles with self-worth due to intense analysis of aesthetic and high expectations for perfection in artistic endeavors.

Needs to learn self-love by embracing flaws as part of the mortal experience.

May avoid Venusian activities out of fear of not being good enough, despite possessing skills in art, especially in sculpting, painting, gardening, and fitness.

Enjoys soft colors reminiscent of spring, woody browns, and greens.

Dresses in a conservative and professional style, conveying their identity concisely.

Prefers smells associated with comfort, cleanliness, citrus, vanilla, or fresh sheets.

Health-conscious and selective about food, considering taste and health reasons.

Analytical and good with money, excelling in facts, figures, and understanding the monetary value.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to practical, healing, intelligent, logical, and detail-oriented individuals.

Finds mechanics, scientists, doctors, researchers, and teachers attractive, venus in taurus, capricorn, virgo, cancer & scorpio.

Romantic Approach:

Shy and hesitant to initiate, prefers being pursued in romantic relationships.

Not inclined towards overt displays of affection or emotional expressions.

Tests partners subtly for devotion; silently contemplates moving on if betrayed.

Displays profound kindness, aiming to enhance your days with subtle yet impactful gestures.

May struggle with dating due to the ability to magnify minor flaws in others.

Indicates a crush by offering help with projects or problems, showing a genuine desire to assist.

Craves deep unconditional love and struggles with criticism due to self-critique.

Needs reassurance and to be cherished, emphasizing the existence of perfection through love.

Fire Signs: Seek thrill and excitement, desire an intoxicating romance.

♐Sagittarius Venus:

Traits:

Happy-go-lucky, adventurous, moralistic, and charitable in matters of self-worth, love, money, aesthetic, and romance.

Generally maintains a healthy self-worth with contagious perky confidence.

Enjoys flirting, playing the field, and has a childlike spirit, but must avoid becoming overly cocky.

Fondness for literature, poetry, spoken arts, and may engage in creative pursuits like music.

Views love as a game for entertainment.

Needs freedom; relationship flourishes with the right balance.

Prone to boredom and drawn to creative, unattainable partners.

Loves games, including sports or video games.

Looks for love randomly but avoids feeling tied down, keeping options open during the search.

Enjoys dramatic and vibrant colors that evoke a happy or jovial vibe.

Dresses in a comfortable and interesting sporty or hippy-esque manner.

Willing to compromise, recognizing the importance of give-and-take in maintaining the relationship.

Prioritizes the relationship over the desire for control.

Finds mentally stimulating and "foreign" foods delightful, especially spicy dishes.

Prefers earthy and floral smells, like fresh-cut flowers.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to different, free-thinking, scholarly, and jocular individuals.

May be drawn to professors, older people, athletes, large individuals, or sages, venus in sagittarius, leo, aries, aquarius and gemini.

Romantic Approach:

Doesn't take love too seriously and sees it as something to be enjoyed.

Expresses crush openly or tries to make the person laugh if attracted.

Enjoys dating, meeting new people, and tends to grow infatuated quickly.

Needs space and time to feel independent in romance.

Requires expansive and big gestures for true fulfillment.

Dislikes clichés, dense individuals, and clinginess.

Seeks a partner in crime and confidant for genuine engagement in a relationship.

♈︎Aries Venus:

Traits:

Pioneering, vivacious, unapologetic, and feisty in matters of self-worth, style, money, and relationships.

Healthy self-worth, with Venus influencing interests and self-definition.

In the arts for making striking, edgy statements rather than adhering to traditional beauty standards.

Fond of debate and mental combat; values independence and security for genuine love.

Striking style, athletic/provocative appearance, or an appearance that appears indifferent.

Fondness for warm colors and simple, comfortable fabrics; may enjoy spicy food and earthy smells.

Not overly concerned with money, views it as a necessity; can spend on expensive hobbies and toys.

Attraction Preferences:

Looks for spontaneous, fun-loving, extroverted, and exciting lovers; may find quiet but in-control individuals appealing.

Attracted to athletes, soldiers, mechanics (technical thinking), rebels, lawyers, construction workers, and rough individuals romantically and physically, venus in aries, leo, sagittarius, aquarius and gemini.

Romantic Approach:

Driven, direct, and open in the arena of love; willing to try anything once.

Sign of a Venus in Aries crush is teasing in good fun; loves to show off and impress the object of affection.

Enjoys the chase and seduction, though may grow bored quickly; awkwardly romantic and wants to pamper loved ones.

Enjoys the chase but may get bored once the conquest is achieved.

Requires physical and mental stimulation to stay in love.

In relationships, desires independence and control; dislikes being told what to do or competing.

Needy romantically, vocal, and somewhat pushy in expressing desires; values feeling appreciated and being treated as number one.

Reveals their vulnerable sides to you, emphasizing transparency and reciprocity.

Demonstrates an all-encompassing love once they've truly embraced their feelings for you.

♌︎Leo Venus:

Traits:

Bright, magnanimous, fun-loving, romantic, and superfluous in matters of self-worth, love, relationships, money, and aesthetic.

Self-worth can vary from low to overly high, often compensating and may appear arrogant.

Requires constant reassurance of self-value, sensitive to insults, and hides struggles behind a smile.

Enjoys the arts, excelling in activities where they can be in the spotlight, including sports and physical activities.

Seeks love when feeling unappreciated but waits for genuine needs.

Dresses in a sporty, casual, flashy, professional, or debonair style with a fondness for bright colors, gold, red, and occasionally black.

Enjoys giving attention and expects occasional reciprocity.

May become overwhelming when self-absorbed, needs grounding.

Loves spicy aromas, such as cinnamon, cardamom, and clove, as well as smooth scents like vanilla.

Enjoys indulging in various foods, especially childlike treats.

May spend generously, particularly for the enjoyment of others, requiring assistance in budgeting.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to showy, artistic, athletic, charismatic, and powerful individuals.

Loves glamour and grandiose declarations in relationships.

Seeks a loyal and committed partner who enhances their ego.

May find appeal in bosses, artists, actors, soldiers, royalty archetypes, and athletes.

Romantic Approach:

Goes all out in love, courting, pursuing, and wooing simultaneously.

Enjoys spectacular romance and is not shy about dating or the dating scene.

Expresses interest by going out of their way to impress and compliment, may straightforwardly communicate their feelings.

Desires to be treated like royalty, pampered, and made to feel special.

Expects reciprocity in passion, intensity, and drama to keep the relationship fresh.

Dislikes feeling unimportant and needs consistent expressions of love, yet maintains independence.

Water Signs: Seek a fairy tale romance, searching for a Prince or Princess.

♓︎Pisces Venus:

Traits:

Dreamy, romantic, loving, creative, and fantastical in matters of love, self-worth, money, relationships, and aesthetics.

May have a deluded sense of self, occasionally needing help to see themselves clearly.

Shy but enjoys occasional flirtation, especially in a playful context.

Attentively listens and remembers your words, valuing communication as a way to understand and love you better.

Enjoys hearing you talk, using it as an opportunity to deepen their understanding of you.

Enjoys art, particularly music, dance, and literature.

Often seeks love, viewing themselves as a part of a whole, searching for a profound connection.

Shy in pursuing but makes subtle gestures to be closer.

Needs to occasionally be more selfish in relationships.

Vulnerable to being taken advantage of due to an overly loving nature.

Loves colors reminiscent of the ocean and the sky, including dark to light blues, greens, purples, and black.

Fashion style can vary from free-flowing, ocean-breeze attire to trendy runway looks or understated appearances to avoid attention.

Enjoys aromas like the ocean, fruit, and candy.

Has a big appetite and loves seafood, sugary sweets, and food from different cultures.

Not overly materialistic but acquires money effortlessly, often spending it on loved ones.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to mystical, aloof, artistic, emotionally expressive, and structured individuals.

Compatibility with sailors, psychics, healers, artists, or therapists, venus in pisces, cancer, scorpio and maybe taurus.

Romantic Behavior:

Shy yet not afraid to initiate romantic gestures.

Signs of interest include leaving messages unread (a commitment test) and engaging in deep conversations beyond typical bedtime hours.

Prefers soulmate connections over casual dating.

Needs lots of love, affection, and care in a relationship.

Dislikes being perceived as overly dependent and can be disillusioned if their idealized image of a loved one shatters.

♋︎Cancer Venus:

Traits:

Affectionate, sentimental, sweet, romantic, and receptive in matters of self-worth, money, style, aesthetic, partnership, and love.

Healthy self-worth usually influenced by family perceptions and upbringing.

Tendency to become engrossed in memories, potentially distorting them, leading to psychic disharmony.

Enjoys emotionally fulfilling hobbies such as reading, acting, cooking, baking, gardening, and finds stimulation in architecture or interior design.

Looks for settling-down material in love, avoiding games.

Assumes the role of the nurturing mother in relationships.

Magnetic and alluring, attracts partners effortlessly.

Analyzes and evaluates relationships; values security and harmony.

Style may not always be fashionable but holds value and meaning, either following family styles or changing frequently to keep up with trends.

Fondness for pastels, silver shades, especially purple and blue, preferring a dapper look without being overly flashy.

Delighted by scents from home, ocean breeze, or a forest after rain, with a preference for earthy and fruity smells.

Loves cooking and food, attached to traditional dishes, with a craving for sweets and creamy treats.

Excellent with money, skilled in investment and business ownership.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to emotional, trustworthy, familiar, and loving individuals.

May also be drawn to sailors, travelers, royalty archetypes, poets, bodybuilders, and comedians, venus in cancer, scorpio, pisces, taurus and virgo.

Romantic Approach:

Shy but can pursue if necessary, values traditional romance and believes in love traditions like meeting the spouse's family.

Takes relationships seriously, finds letting go challenging.

Signs of a crush include blushing, bashfulness, attempts to talk, and revealing something emotional

Will push back if being used, prioritizes home harmony.

Invests considerable time in your company, fostering comfort and mutual ease.

Their presence brings a soothing calmness, contributing to a deep sense of connection.

Desires a fairy tale experience, appreciates sentimental mementos, and values cherishing shared memories.

Craves emotionality and feels hurt if emotions are disregarded, but can become clingy and manipulative if not moderated.

Extremely loyal and willing to weather the storm, not easily bored.

♏︎Scorpio Venus:

Traits:

Possessive, secretive, romantic, intense, loving, and creative in matters of self-worth, money, love, relationships, and mystique.

Tendency for relatively low self-worth, feeling unattractive, and presenting a facade to compensate, emphasizing the seriousness of love.

Craves cherishment and security for a safe and healthy self-worth.

Subconscious and energetically seductive, attracting both desired and unwanted things.

Displays creativity, viewing destruction as a form of creation, especially in music or activities involving breaking and destroying things.

Enjoys sports, video games, and may have various artistic talents.

Desires to merge and feel complete, often seeking love but may struggle when needing support.

Appreciates a variety of colors, with greens, purples, and blues drawing particular interest.

Dresses in a sporty, dark, artsy, or blending-in manner.

Prefers hypnotic and deep smells like dark chocolate, wine, and musky sea scents.

Enjoys spicy foods and exotic tastes that mentally and physically engage them.

Skilled with money and investing.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to intriguing, mysterious, closed-off, powerful, and emotionally intense individuals.

May find interest in surgeons, doctors, researchers, mystics, sailors, and chemists, venus scorpio, cancer, pisces, capricorn and virgo.

Romantic Approach:

Takes love seriously, aiming to make their significant other happy even if not overtly romantic.

Signs of a crush may include slight rudeness or playful power games, seeking attention harmlessly

Tests partners to determine worth, with potential psychological challenges.

Struggles to trust, but deepens emotionally when in love.

Sensitive to your emotions, quick to notice when you're feeling down.

Focuses on understanding and meeting your love language needs, especially during challenging times.

Serious about love, dating can be challenging.

Needs a partner who understands the intensity of their passions, values trust, and avoids deception.

Loyal and committed once invested in a relationship.

Air Signs: Seek innovators and intellectual connection in romance.

♒Aquarius Venus:

Traits:

Impersonal, creative, original, universal, and shocking in matters of relationships, love, aesthetic, self-worth, and money.

Usually has a healthy, if not detached, self-worth.

May distance themselves from the concept of "the self," which could be psychologically challenging.

Friendly and may unintentionally flirt; aesthetic taste is intriguing, embracing individuality and the arts.

Finds beauty in dreamy, surreal colors like pastels and neons.

Enjoys music, visual arts, poetry, and activities involving the mind like video games.

Looks for love when feeling a lack of a true community and seeks one-on-one connections.

Dress style may be striking, eclectic, modern, or fitting a group aesthetic with a hint of a hippy flair.

Enjoys scents like the ocean, clean, light, breezy, and sweet aromas like cotton candy.

Appreciates complex and unique flavors for mental stimulation.

Good with money but prone to sudden spending sprees.

Preferences in Others:

Likes individuals who are aloof, idiosyncratic, distant, unattainable, intelligent, and humanitarian.

Attracted to musicians, scientists, researchers, astrologers/mystics, and philanthropists, venus in aquarius, gemini, libra, aries and saggitarius.

Romantic Behavior:

Cerebral about love but values its importance.

Indicators of interest are sporadic and confusing, ranging from acting like you don't exist to wanting to hang out.

Struggles with the balance between independence and craving companionship

Craves stability and loyalty despite a logical façade.

Expresses feelings through late-night texts, sharing thoughts they might hesitate to say in person.

Fickle in courtship; captivates with eccentricities.

Values freedom, loyalty, and stability; may become depressed without them.

Not particularly fond of dating and may see it as a waste of time.

In a relationship, seeks reliability paired with excitement and random, unexpected events.

Once committed, tends to stay, being a fixed sign.

♊︎Gemini Venus:

Traits:

Charming, poetic, sociable, witty, and cunning in matters of self-worth, love, aesthetic, finances, and relationships.

Self-worth tied to communication skills and fitting into the community, needing to learn that being liked doesn't equate to true beauty.

Enjoys various creative pursuits, including dance, music, poetry, and a genuine love for conversation; may also have a fondness for sports.

Requires stimulation in a relationship, finds love more fun than necessary.

Trendy in fashion, stylish, adaptable to changing trends; values fashion as a form of communication.

Likes bright colors, especially various shades of blues, and tends to shy away from dark colors.

Enjoys a variety of food, likes to be intellectually engaged with what they eat, with a fondness for sour and childlike sweet foods.

Attracted to citrusy, sharp, and clean smells, such as fresh sheets.

Doesn't overly focus on money, invests well, and can be impulsive with hobbies or travel urges

Thrives on communication; requires mental stimulation.

Loses interest if not intellectually engaged.

Easily uses people for temporary connections until captivated elsewhere.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to intellectual, well-informed, sporty, suave, and aesthetically pleasing individuals; may appreciate the "wholesome person next door" aesthetics.

Finds PR people, librarians, professors, bosses, writers, actors, athletes, or local individuals attractive, compatible with venus in aquarius, gemini, libra, sagittarius & aries.

Romantic Approach:

Flirty, fun-loving, and eager in romantic relationships.

Displays goofiness or attempts to make the other person laugh when they have a crush.

Enjoys intellectual play and wants a partner who can match their quickness.

Thrives on humor, eureka moments, and engagement of the mind.

Enjoys the thrill of the chase but may grow bored with monotony; long-distance relationships can work well.

Loves learning about their partner, so keeping them guessing and engaged is crucial.

♎Libra Venus:

Traits:

Harmonious, diplomatic, balanced, romantic, and idealistic in self-worth, money, love, and relationships.

Self-worth is influenced by how others treat them, seeking approval and universal love, but can struggle with feeling not good enough.

Needs to learn self-love and not rely solely on others for integral well-being.

Enjoys flirting and charm, finding exhilaration in social interactions and fun with potential mates and friends.

Naturally gifted in the arts, excelling in fashion, architecture, and textiles.

Actively looks for love, deeming it important and feeling lonely without it.

Ruled by Venus; loves beauty, luxury, comfort, and diplomacy.

Attracts potential partners effortlessly due to appealing qualities.Has varied color preferences based on cultural definitions of balance, avoiding reactions in people.

Trendy and hip in dressing, adapting to current aesthetics without growing overly fond of styles.

Enjoys bright, sunny smells like orange and mango, along with fruity, gentle, and sugary scents.

Adores sweet foods, indulges the senses, and may overspend on luxuries, requiring help in budgeting.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to polite, intelligent, artistic, and politically savvy individuals.

May find interest in lawyers, decorators, doctors, venus in libra, gemini, aquarius, leo and sagittarius.

Romantic Approach:

Ruled by social convention, enjoys romantic gestures seen in movies and media.

Can be passive romantically but enjoys playing cat and mouse games, flirting, and having fun, even if shyly.

Signs of a crush include compliments, offers to help, and extending invitations to social events.

Needs a fun, light, and very romantic partner to feel complete.

Values trust in friends and lovers, seeking someone to share both joy and dark times

May withdraw if harmony is disrupted; values care and nurturing.

Can harbor deep rage if pushed to the limit in a toxic relationship.

Communicates emotions through their eyes, conveying the depth of their love without words.

Enjoys the dating scene, finding joy in getting to know potential partners.

Dislikes crass or unpleasant partners who embarrass them.

Lives in a realm of pure ideals, exhibiting prince/princess charming-like qualities.

#astrology #venus #venus in the signs #venus in aries #venus in taurus #venus in gemini #venus in cancer #venus in leo #venus in virgo #venus in libra #venus in scorpio #venus in sagittarius #venus in capricorn #venus in aquarius #venus in pisces #astrology observations #astro community #astro notes #lunarianscorpio

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rafesfavgirl · 5 months

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with a broken heart — r. cameron

part 1. something a little more lighthearted to make up for breaking y'alls hearts :)

series: every few lifetimes

❝ i was grinning like i'm winning i was hitting my marks 'cause i can do it with a broken heart ❞

pairing: ex-bf!rafe x fem!reader

context: after getting your heart broken, you pack your bags and leave the obx, only to come face to face with rafe again, eight years later.

words: 2.4k+

warnings: rafe and reader are aged up (26/27), old flames, FLUFF

"now remember, this client's a big prospect," your boss says as you follow him out of the office car and into the building you were scoping out today. "i guarantee if you can close this deal, you'll be well on your way to becoming the next junior partner."

"hank, are you serious?" you stop in your tracks and he looks at you.

when you first left the outer banks for new york, you went to nyu without a clue on what you wanted to do with the rest of your life. somewhere along the way, you graduated magna cum laude and pursued law school at columbia. your first year, hank took you on as an intern, and by the time you graduated, you had a job lined up for you at one of the biggest real estate agencies in the world. and though you knew how well you did your job, becoming junior partner as a second-year associate was way beyond where you thought you'd be—it was nothing short of a dream come true.

"don't think what you've done for this company has been lost on me, y/n," he tells you. "you're an asset. i knew it since that first summer i took you on as an intern."

a smile comes across your lips. "well, i can't disappoint," you say. "let's close this fucking deal."

"that's what i like to hear, come on," he continues leading you through the building, until the two of you reached a tall guy with a buzzcut wearing a navy blue suit scoping out the place.

"mr. cameron," you don't miss the familiar name when you and your boss stop behind him, your breath hitching when the guy turns around to greet you both. "this is-"

"y/n," your name rolls off rafe's tongue the same way it always did, your heart beating so hard you feared it'd jump out of your chest.

hank's eyes shift between the two of you, as he shakes rafe's hand. "you two know each other?"

"yeah," rafe nods, his eyes set on you—he couldn't believe that you were actually standing in front of him. a part of him thought that when you left the obx he'd never see you again. "we uh— we went to high school together."

"well that's wonderful," hank smiles. "no need for the awkward introduction then."

except— it was awkward. you didn't just go to high school together. you fell in love in high school. and two months before you chose to go to nyu, rafe broke your heart.

"y/n here will be the one walking you through the contract, and hopefully setting you up with one of our best architects," hank explains to him, while you continue trying to process the fact that he was actually here.

what were the odds that he was the client you needed to win over in order to make junior partner?

—

"so, does that all sound good to you?" you finish going over the contract for the building and look at rafe.

the two of you hovered over a table in the empty space that you'd spread out all the documents on.

"yeah, y/n, it all sounds great." the smile he throws your way makes your stomach turn in the worst way—making you realize that the piece of your heart that never stopped beating for him still existed. "where do i sign?"

"uh— right here," you pick up your pen to draw x's on all the lines he had to sign on, before holding it out to him.

he takes it from you, and you watch as he leans over to sign on each and everyone of them, your eyes trailing over how well his suit fit him.

he must hit the gym at least four times a week, you thought. he's grown quite a bit since you last saw him.

"there you go," rafe hands the pen back out to you, and you take it from him with a smile.

"thank you," you say. "you won't regret it."

"oh, i know," he nods, eyes scanning over your face. "i'd never regret anything that involves you."

you feel the heat rise on your cheeks, but you keep it professional, gathering the files on the table back into your folder. "well then, i'll leave you with the contacts of our architects and if you have any further questions, you can reach out to hank or any of the other executives."

"yeah, okay," he replies, hiding his disappointment in the fact that you didn't tell him to contact you with any questions he may have.

"it was a pleasure doing business with you, mr. cameron," you hold out a hand to him for a handshake and he stares at it for a second, before reluctantly placing his hand in yours.

"it sure was," he smiles. "but you know you can just call me rafe, don't you?"

"this is how i address all my clients," you tell him. "it's just the professional thing to do."

"yeah, yeah, i get it," he nods. "guess i'm just not used to it coming from you."

you crack a smile at his somewhat nervous stance—you weren't used to seeing him this way. "it was nice to see you again, rafe. good luck with everything."

"yeah," he grins. "you too."

you turn to walk away, while rafe stays back, scratching the back of his head in contemplation before calling out to you. "hey y/n?"

"yeah?" you ask, stopping to look at him again.

"you got any plans tonight?"

"rafe, i-"

"oh, come on," he cuts you off, slowly closing the distance between you two. "there's no reason we can't be friends, right?"

wrong—there were many reasons. one being that you spent years piecing yourself back together after he decided to give up on you.

"let's catch up," he persists, his blue eyes locking with yours. "get a drink with me tonight."

despite your head screaming no, you agree. "one drink," you say, causing a smile to spread across his face. "ten o'clock. meet me at the bar on fifth."

—

the second you walk into the bar, rafe rises from his stool at the counter and waves you over. he had gotten there 30 minutes early to make sure you weren't left waiting for him—you'd done enough of that.

"hey," he seems nervous when you reach him, wiping his hands on his slacks before reluctantly wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

you resist the urge to giggle—it was kinda entertaining to see this six-foot-two tall man get nervous around you—and briefly return his hug.

"have you been here long?" you ask, taking off your jacket and taking a seat in the empty stool beside him.

"nah, just about five minutes or so," he lies, shrugging and giving you a lopsided smile, as the bartender walks up to greet you both.

"anything i can get you?" she asks, eyes lingering on rafe for a little longer than you.

"just a glass of whiskey for me," rafe tells her. "neat."

"and i'll just have a glass of pinot noir," you say, when the girl turns to look at you. "thank you."

"and you can just put it on this," rafe reaches into his back pocket for his wallet, and you cut in. "rafe, you don't have to-"

"nonsense," he shakes his head at you and slides his black amex across to the bartender. "i invited you out. it's on me."

the bartender picks up his card, and gives him a smile. "rafe cameron. i'll remember that."

subtly, rafe rolls his eyes and you hold back a snicker. "please don't."

the bartender huffs as her eyes shifts between the two of you, but walks away without another word to get your drinks and charge rafe's card.

you kink a brow at him. "you get bartenders flirting with you a lot?"

"i guess it happens every now and then," he shrugs.

"it's definitely the buzz," you tell him, as a different bartender brings over your drinks and hands rafe back his card.

"thank you," he briefly acknowledges him, before turning his attention back on you, an amused smile on his face. "you think?"

"yeah," you nod, bringing your wine glass up to take a sip. "it makes you look older— more mature. it suits you."

he cracks a smile, a small chuckle slipping out from between his lips. "and being a lawyer suits you."

"you really think so?"

"yeah," he nodded, taking a sip of his whiskey. "you looked so cute all dressed up in your little suit," those words make the heat rise on your cheeks, and you hide it with your wine glass. "i've never seen you more in your element. what made you choose law?"

"well…" you trail off, wondering whether or not you should tell him the truth. oh, fuck it. "after we broke up, i found out got into nyu. i was so… mad and hurt over you ending it that i packed my bags and i left, without looking back. during the summers, i stayed here and worked internships with the school just so i'd have an excuse not to go home."

he listened intently, a look of indifference falling across his features. a part of him was hurt at hearing that he'd broken your heart so badly you felt the need to leave, but the other part was proud. you really did that. figured your shit out and made a life for yourself—just like he always knew you would.

"after my second year, i worked an internship with a property management company in brooklyn. we scoped out places all around the city, and i don't know… i kinda just fell in love with it. seeing how happy people got when we'd found them the right apartment or the right space for them to start their business just made me feel really good. so i declared real estate as my major junior year and decided on law school," you continued.

"doll, that's amazing," he smiled, blue eyes twinkling. "which law school did you go to?"

"columbia," you reply, his eyes only widening in amazement. no words could describe the amount of pride in his chest right now. "but enough about me. what about you?"

"oh— uh…" he started and set his whiskey down on the bar. "after you left, i went to rehab. went in and out of that place for about two or three years… i mean, you knew how bad it was— wasn't easy."

you frown upon hearing his struggles with rehab and relapsing, but nod along as he continues.

"been clean for about four years now though," he shrugs, as if it wasn't some big accomplishment.

"rafe, that's amazing," you tell him, setting your glass down on the bar. "good for you."

"i had to," he nodded. "not only for me, but for dad, too. he was starting to talk business and expanding the company, and i just… i couldn't let him down. especially not after i let you down."

you glance down, no longer being able to meet his eyes. you knew that your past together had to come up at one point, you just weren't ready for it. mainly because even after all this time, there was still that little piece of your heart that never stopped belonging to him. it would always be his. "rafe…"

"i hope i'm not being too forward when i ask you this but…" his hand reaches out to touch yours, and you look up at him. "are you seeing anyone?"

"no, i'm not," you shake your head. "after we broke up, i didn't really date much. and even when i did, nothing ever really stuck."

that was enough to have a smile crack across his his, eyes brighter than you'd seen them in a really long time. "guess that makes two of us."

"guess so," you shrug, thoughts running through your mind a hundred times a minute as you try to find a way to change the subject. you weren't ready for where this conversation was about to go. at least, not yet. "but, uh— tell me about cameron development, how's that going?"

he chuckles at your eagerness to change the subject, as you sipped on your wine, but goes with it. he'd break you down again. eventually.

—

after finishing your drinks at the bar, rafe offered to walk you home since your apartment was only about a block or two away, assuring you that he'd just get a cab back to his hotel afterward.

and while a part of you screamed at you to say no, that little piece of your heart that still beat for him won over, and you agreed.

"well, this is me," you say, stopping in front of your apartment complex and looking at him. "it was really nice to see you, rafe."

"so that's it?" he asks, catching you off guard. "this just ends here?"

he takes a step towards you, making your heart pitter-patter, as his eyes scanned your face.

"rafe-"

"don't you ever wonder…" he cuts you off, his gaze lingering on your lips for just a moment before his eyes shifted to meet yours. "what we could've been? what we could be?"

"i-"

"i know i fucked shit up with you, a'ight?" he said, hand coming up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

the gesture threatens to make your eyes flutter close at the feeling of his familiar touch, but you keep your composure.

"i was young and i was stupid, and i thought you deserved better," he continued. "but y/n, there isn't a day that has gone by in the last eight years that you haven't crossed my mind. i think about you all the time, just hoping for the day you'd finally come back to the banks."

your breath hitches at his confession, that tiny piece of your heart that held onto him, growing three sizes.

"i know i don't deserve a second chance, i know that," he told you. "but i'm not the guy i was back in high school. i'm clean now, and i've turned my life around. i can be that guy for you now. the one you needed me to be all those years ago."

"okay," you whisper.

"what?" he musn't have heard you right.

"i'd be lying to myself if i said i haven't thought about you either, rafe," you say.

a small chuckle falls from his lips, which spread into a smile. "seriously?"

you nod. "come pick me up at seven tomorrow. let's give it a chance."

part 3 coming soon!!

i'm rooting for them tbh

reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated <33

click here to be added to my tag list!!

tags: @chiaraanatra @ijustwanttoreadlols @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafesgiirl @solanathascientst @10ava01 @werewhatkilledthedinosaurs @void21 @groovycass @azrielsgirll @rroslitas @crvptidgf @star-girl-05 @redhead1180 @shadyshadyy @prettypimpcess12 @emotionsmgcbabe @outerbankspov @letmeintourheart @gublerstylesobrien1238

#rafe cameron #rafe #obx #rafe obx #outer banks #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron fic #rafe fic #rafe fluff #cute rafe #obx fic

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olaadel-ouf · 5 days

Text

Iam Ola Abu El-ouf, lam 34 years old🚨🚨🚨

A distress call from Gaza...a family searching for safety🙏🇵🇸

A family trapped in Gaza asks for help to survive

I need to raise money to restore a beautiful and stable life outside the Gaza Strip. Everything I say leaves only a small amount of the suffering we experience. Here is a glimpse into the contrast between our lives before the aggression and the nightmare we have been experiencing since its beginning. Thank you for your support

An architect, I used to work in an engineering office in the Gaza reconstruction and I aspired to complete my master’s degree, but my work and studies were halted due to the war. I am divorced and have two children, Amir, 8 years old, and Maryam, 7 years old.

@nabulsi @aces-and-angels @ibtisam @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @vakarians-babe @7amaspayrollmanager @fairuzfakhira @fallahsart @sayruq @humanvoreture @kaapstadgirly @sar-soor @dimonds456-art @plomegranate @commissions4aid-international @nabulsi @stil-macher @soon-palestine @communitythings @palestinegenocide @vakarians-babe @ghost-and-a-half

#all eyes on palestine #save palestine #gaza genocide #free gaza #gaza news #palestine news #gazaunderattack

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shomixremix · 7 months

Note

Hiii! >~< could you make march 8th head canons (what genshin men do on womens day as ur bf!) fluff! sorry English isn’t my first language but I looove your work! This is my first request I’m so nervous ^_^ !! 🌸🌸🌸

If you have time to do this could you add Kaveh, Xiao , Wanderer and Diluc? Thank you in advance <333

International women's day with them ♡︎

hii anon!! don't be nervous, you can always request anything, lovely ♡︎ thank you sm for your request!!

and english isn't my first language too hehe

also i'm so sorry if this doesn't sound like him, i'm not really used to writing for wanderer😭😭

tags: kaveh, xiao, wanderer, diluc, female!reader, fluff, implied smut (yet nothing described), kissing, international women's day, feministic themes

-> of course, your boyfriend should treat you like a goddess everyday, yet there's that one special day every march where he shows his favorite woman a special kind of treatment.

reqs open ♡︎

-> kaveh

"hi, my love!" your blonde lover chirped as you blinked your eyes open. where were you? what's happening?

"mh.. kaveh?" you ask sleepily, rubbing your eyes while you yawn, still half asleep. you can't even think before a bouquet of sumeru roses is shoved in your face.

"happy 8th of march, baby! flowers for my beautiful flower~" he teased cheesily, and you softly laugh. your arms drape around his neck, bringing him closer.

"you're so corny," you chuckle again, eyelids half-open, "but thank you"

"heh, you still love me" he smiles wide, pressing a warm peck on the tip of your nose. "c'mon now, get up, baby. we're going out today"

your eyes flutter wide open, your mouth a little agape. "out? but, don't you have work? you've spent all week complaining about that client.."

"i can take a day off" he mumbles, kissing you again. "it's been so long since I last took you on a date, anyway. now's the perfect time, hm? so come on, get up! we got a whole day's worth of dates!"

he pulls the covers of your shared bed impatiently, trying to get you to get up as fast as possible. the architect grabs your legs, dragging you out from the soft bed.

"noo, kaveh..", you try to protest, "what kinda guy are you if you don't wanna let me sleep on women's day?!"

"the kinda guy who loves his girlfriend and wants to spend time with her! now, c'mon!"

-> xiao

as an adeptus, xiao has lived long and has seen many things change over the years. one of those things are different holidays and celebrations amongs the mortals.

do not get him wrong - he absolutely agrees that all different genders should have equal rights, why wouldn't they? he's a big supporter, he even participated in marches and fights himself! he just didn't get the whole deal with flowers and chocolates.

weren't those kinds of things reserved for another confusing mortal ritual, called "valentine's day" or something?

however, all that changed once he started dating you. suddenly, he realized that kind of attention was important to you and he wanted to give it to you. he wanted you to feel loved and wanted and seen, no matter how much he didn't understand human customs.

"xiao?" you ask a little stunned as the adeptus appears before you with a Qingxin flower in his hand. "what's.. what's going on?"

"for you", he simply regards, giving you the beautiful flower, "i wish you a very joyous women's freedom day"

"aww, xiao, thank you, you shouldn't have!" you press a soft kiss on his cheek, and you could practically feel him blush.

"i simply wanted to express my gratitude and sympathy for you" he slowly continues, clearing his throat.

"this day is a celebration of the female gender, is it not? it's only right i celebrate the most important important woman in my life"

you simply melt at his words, throwing your arms around him in a warm hug. he was the most important man in your life, too.

-> wanderer

"here" he muttered, hiding his face away from you as he shoved some hand-picked flowers in your face.

"what's.. this? are you okay, hon?"

he blushed furiously as the petname rolls of your tounge, getting more and more embaressed by the second. he so badly wanted to yell at you not to call him that, yet he swallowed his words for the ocassion.

"i'm fine" he coldly said, his gaze still away from you.

"and those are flowers. flowers, for you."

"for me?" you repeat back in shock, unsure how to react to your boyfriend's sudden display of affection. he never before did something like this, so your confusion was more than understandable.

"for women's day" his usually cold voice had a slightly embaressed tone in it, which cought you off guard. "and you are a woman, so it was only logical. if you don't want them-"

"no, no!" you protest immediately, taking the flowers from his hand eagerly.

"i love them! they are so beautiful! thank you.."

you softly kiss his cheek, making him blush. he says nothing, yet he silently tangles his fingers with yours, holding your hand as the two of you stroll away.

-> diluc

"diluc? love, aren't you going to angel's share? what are you still doing home?"

you softly ask your fiancé as you decend down the stairs of the dawn winery. you're still in your nightgown, hair a little dishvelled, eyes still a little puffy. he smiles at the image of his beautiful future wife, in disbelief that he was the one to put that shiny ring on your finger.

"no, not today, my dear. i took today off to spend time with you. it is a special ocassion, after all"

"oh? a special ocasion? what are we celebrating?"

he smiles softly, looking at you with pure adoration: "it's women's day, darling. it's only right to spend my day with a woman important to me. and who could be more important than my future wife?"

your eyes lit up in excitement as you make your way down, taking his hand he held out for you. "really? we get the whole day for ourselves?"

"mhm", he hummed in agreement, grabbing you closer.

"well, i have presents first, but yeah. i thought we could go for a walk along the starfell lake... if you're not up for that, you know i don't mind staying home all day"

"presents? you really shouldn't have, diluc.." you softly chuckle in awe as you look around the large living room, noticing the many flowers and a few boxes of what looks like jewelery and sweets.

"what can i say? i love spoiling my future wife"

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gryficowa · 10 days

Text

Boycott!

If it goes like this, Israel will have victims from all over the world and still go unpunished…

American, Polish, Australian, Canadian… I probably missed someone, but the fact that even when CITIZENS OF OTHER COUNTRIES have been murdered, ISRAEL IS UNPUNISHED IS SICK

You always think that at least then they will react (BECAUSE IT ALSO APPLIES TO THESE COUNTRIES AND THEIR CITIZENS, COUNTRIES USUALLY REACT IN SUCH SITUATIONS)

The fact that even this did not lead to their reaction (And many of them still support Israel) IS SICK, THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO THE MINIMUM AND IT SUCKS, ISRAEL IS UNPUNISHED, YOU WANT TO BELIEVE THAT AT LEAST THEN THEY WILL REACT, BUT NO, ISRAEL IS STILL SUPPORTED AFTER ALL THIS

After all the genocide, after the murder of foreigners… Israel is still treated as if it didn't happen AND I CAN'T DESCRIBE THIS INTERNAL FRUSTRATION

Now that I have your attention:

-----------------------------------------------------

Countries supporting Israel don't even care about their citizens…

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itsmaferart · 1 year

Text

SPY x FAMILY x CHAIR Vol 10 - 11- 12

Continuing with this series of analysis of the covers:

SxF . Vol 10 - Redacted

Unlike all the covers so far, cover 10 is the only one that does not show us a chair, but instead introduces us to [Redacted]. So we can give a little deeper analysis.

We can highlight that behind [Redacted] we can clearly see the rubble of a house of which there is absolutely nothing left, a soldier's helmet with scratches and cracks, the toy gun and a radio that apparently announced the war and the look of a child who has lost all happiness in his life and now must learn to survive with no one to take care of him.

I think it goes without saying that this is the saddest cover of the whole collection so far. But we can talk about the influence of [Redacted] on the current story.

In previous reviews I have talked about how [Redacted] is the basis for the existence of Twilight, the great spy of Westalis, the metaphorical death of this child who has lost his parents and his friends due to the conflicts of his country, and who later, blinded by hatred, would want to destroy his apparent enemies, to finally learn the hard lesson from his father of always longing for peace above all else.

From my perspective the tragedy of [Redacted] is the basis of Twilight, it's why the spy fighting for peace exists, but more importantly, it's what allows Twilight to not be entirely a living weapon serving a specific side. And while Twilight you made remembering her past "Self" is weakness, it is also who reminds her of what is truly important.

And it is [Redacted] who gives authenticity to Loid Forger, who reminds him that in the past he could experience happiness, his more vulnerable and sweet side, a child who could easily cry and wished to be in his mother's arms every night. Someone who just wished for a little love. Redacted] may never come back, but it is because of him that Twilight and Loid Forger are genuine and real.

This is a good time to dry your tears! 😭

SxF . Vol 11 - Emile and Ewen - Hill House Chair

The Hill House Chair was designed by Scottish architect and designer Charles Rennie Mackintosh in 1902 for the Hill House residence in Helensburgh, Scotland. The design has a strong Japanese influence, which Mackintosh incorporated into his work after being exposed to Japanese aesthetics during the Glasgow International Art Exhibition.

The chair is in Mackintosh's "Glasgow Style", which is characterized by straight, simple lines and shapes. The chair, along with the rest of the furniture, was designed to integrate with the architecture and décor of the building, resulting in a harmonious and balanced ensemble.

Both the Willow chair and Hill House Chair are designs by Mackintosh, which is characterized by simple lines, geometric shapes and a modernist sensibility that gives them a unique and recognizable look. In terms of style and architectural context, the chairs have important differences in terms of form and functionality. The Willow Chair is a low chair with a curved back and woven seat, while the Hill House Chair is a taller, slimmer chair with a rectangular back and upholstered seat.

Damian-sama!!

There are two very interesting details that I could highlight and the language of the objects with respect to the chair, and the characters. Unlike Damian, the proportion of the chairs with respect to both children is much more harmonious unlike Damian whose chair stands out easily and its size is huge with respect to his size, indicating that while Damian projects greatness, Emile and Ewen are the complementation, both stand out, but balance each other at the same time, and do not overshadow Damian-Sama!

It is very interesting, given that the chair selection reflects this bond of friends/followers. While the chairs have different contexts, while Willow Chiar's has a primary function, the Hill House has the function of complementing the decor. Pointing out how the personalities of Emile and Ewen is to complement Damian.

Like Becky, the reflection of each other's personality is evident, they are notorious and not hidden. While Ewen has a passion for space, astronauts and the stars; Emile is a lover of sweets and all kinds of junk food. However, in the middle of both of them there is an obvious bond for explorer adventures. Having his picture with Damian in the center, because their bond as friends is very genuine!

SxF . Vol 12 - Sylvia Sherwood - Diamond Chair

The Diamond Chair, also known as the Bertoia Chair, was created by sculptor and designer Harry Bertoia in 1952. It was originally designed for Knoll International and has become a symbol of 20th century industrial and avant-garde design.

Bertoia designed the chair because of his desire to explore new forms and techniques of furniture making. Inspiration came from his interest in experimenting with steel wires, which allowed him to create light and elegant structures.

The motive was to achieve a perfect combination of form and comfort, which would be attractive but also ergonomic and comfortable to use. The chair's curved steel wire frame allows for breathability and provides flexible support, adapting to the user's body. Its design is minimalist and timeless, as well as its versatility and ability to adapt to a variety of environments.

"Stop waiting for easy answers to fall into your lap, Rookie. Use that head of yours to find them for yourself"

Both Fullmetal Lady and Diamond Chair could be described as elegant, sophisticated and modern. In addition, the attention to detail and quality workmanship reflect a high-end personality and refinement that projects the experience Handler has in executing its work. At the same time, its comfort and ergonomics demonstrate a concern for the well-being and experience of the user, which makes it friendly and welcoming, one of the most human characteristics of Sylvia who, although she is a relentless woman, also knows how to relate to her humanity, and reminds her little spies that having a soft spot is part of them.

While the folders and surely confidential papers are shuffled and exposed, reminiscent of Handler's main role, we can see subtly hidden the family photograph that is pierced by the chair leg reflecting the rupture caused by the war of losing her husband and young daughter. For no matter the passage of time, it will always be something that will accompany her.

You can read the previous part here

#twiyor #spy x family #yor forger #loid forger #loid x yor #yor briar #anya forger #twilight #sxf #spyxfamily twilight #spy x family manga #spy family #sylvia sherwood #spy x familyx chair

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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 1 year

Text

Spencer's Choice

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.5k

Warnings: angst, reuniting long lost love, heartbreak, impossible choice to make

Summary: Breaking up with Spencer is the hardest thing you've ever had to do. You left and returned years later, only to run into him again. Feelings return that you thought were gone. Spencer has a choice to make: you or his family.

Square Filled: goodbye letter (2021) for @cmbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

Ah, back in your hometown. You miss the way the sunshine feels on your skin even when the wind blowing is almost at freezing temperatures. You miss the way the cars sound as they’re rushing down the road as a reminder that people need to leave earlier when it comes to this town. You miss the small-town feeling of everyone being so close-knit that you can check up on your neighbors and see how they’re doing every day.

You miss home.

You haven’t been back in the United States in a little over a year, and back in this town for much longer. Ever since you left after you graduated, you really haven’t looked back. It killed you to do so but you were on a mission to better people’s lives with your degree and experience. You’re a very skilled architect who has been involved in many unique projects all over the world. It’s been one big adventure that you love having. You’ve met genuinely good people, tried amazing and unique food, delved into different cultures, and got to experience what others only dream about.

Now you’re just glad to be back in your hometown, relax, and spend the money you’ve been saving for years.

You walk down the familiar road next to the park you used to go to after school every day with your friends. There is something brown in the middle of the sidewalk but upon closer examination, you see it’s a child’s teddy bear. You pick it up in hopes there is a name or a number you can call, but the only thing you can find is an address. Weird. Most people don’t put their addresses on kids’ toys but who are you to judge?

With a quick Google search, you find the address is only two blocks from where you’re at. This is your chance to be a good samaritan and return the bear to a child who is probably missing it. You find the house easily and walk up the porch steps. You knock on the door and wait only ten seconds before it opens. A young girl about the age of seven is standing there with sad eyes.

“Hi, does he belong to you?” you ask and produce the bear.

Her eyes light up happily when she sees the toy.

“Thank you so much!” she squeals and grabs it from you.

“Marissa, what did I tell you about answering the door without your mother or me?” you hear her dad say.

You look up and lock eyes with the only person you’ve ever been in love with: Spencer Reid. You two were high school sweethearts back then, and it was clear to everyone at that school that you two were going to end up together for life. You were in love with him so much and wished you could have stayed, but it broke your heart to break up with him.

You have always wanted to be an architect even when you were younger. Your parents got you Legos that you could build houses from, and you’d build all sorts of different houses with different rooms for everything a person could need. When you got to your junior year, you applied to different colleges for architecture which also included colleges outside of the United States. Never in a million years did you think you’d ever get into those colleges but your mother encouraged you to apply.

Four months before graduation, you got an amazing offer to study at UCL in London with the opportunity to be an intern side by side with one of the most famous architects at that time. What an amazing opportunity, your mother told you. Yes, it was but there was one thing holding you back: Spencer.

It started one of the biggest arguments between you two. It lasted for months leading up to graduation. He obviously didn’t want you to go since you’d be in a different country, but he didn’t want to be the only reason why you’d stay. You wanted to go because this would be an amazing opportunity for you, but you didn't want to go because you didn’t want to leave him.

It took months to come to a decision but Spencer convinced you to go. Long-distance relationships never work out for anyone, and you didn't want to put Spencer through the pain of not seeing you every day or being with you. Breaking up with him was and still is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do.

You’ve had a few flings over the years that never meant anything because none of them were him. It took a really long time to stop crying over him. Now, seeing him right in front of you is bringing all those fights, that love, and every conversation you’ve ever had with him back. It’s a bit overwhelming, to be honest, and you step back to ground yourself.

Marissa looks up to see her dad looking at you with the same look you’re giving him.

“You don’t look at Mommy like that,” she observes.

“Why don’t you go inside and play? I’ll be right there,” Spencer says distractedly.

Marissa looks at you and goes inside to play with her teddy bear. Spencer steps outside and closes the front door for some privacy.

“I can’t believe you’re standing in front of me right now.”

This isn’t a good idea. You’re going to start crying because the truth is, and you’ve tried so hard to bury it, you’re still in love with him. If you don’t get out of here quickly, the patch over your heart is going to tear and you’re going to start bleeding all over again.

“I’m sorry. I can’t be here right now. I have to go.”

You turn around and walk down the porch steps, but Spencer jumps toward you.

“Wait.” You turn to face him and he sighs in frustration. “I have to get Marissa to the doctor. How long are you in town for?”

“As long as I want. I’m in between projects right now.”

Maybe the reason why you told him this is for the false hope that you two can resume right where you left off.

“Please don’t leave. Please meet with me for coffee tomorrow morning. You remember Jack’s Cafe, right?” How could you not? It’s the place where you and Spencer had your first date and first kiss. “My number hasn’t changed if you still have it.”

“I do,” you whisper.

He never changed it in hopes that you’d call it. You got home after parting ways with him and cried yourself to sleep. Seeing him again after all these years is reverting your mind back to high school graduation. You’re not much better the next day. When you wake up, you decide you’re not going to meet Spencer and just leave. However, when you look at past messages between the two of you on your phone, he deserves this meeting. You deserve to catch up with him.

You rush into the coffee shop knowing you’re late. Spencer is sitting at the table you two used to sit in every single time you went here.

“I thought you weren't going to show,” he says when you sit across from him.

“Honestly, I almost didn’t.”

Spencer slides a coffee over to you and you catch it to prevent it from falling. Just based on the smell alone, you know he still remembers your coffee order.

“How have you been? Any interesting projects you’ve been on?”

You don’t know if the small talk is good or not. It’s to distract you from the real issue but you welcome the distraction.

“Yeah, I’ve done some work in third-world countries with nonprofit organizations. We’ve built homes for people, homeless shelters, and enclosures for animals who are suffering and endangered.”

“That’s amazing. I’m really happy for you.”

“What about you?”

“I pursued my career in the FBI. I have been a profiler for many years. I’m retired now and get to teach others before they go into the academy.”

“Retired? You’re still so young. What happened?” you ask and sip your coffee.

“I went to prison for a couple of months for a crime I didn’t do. It messed with me mentally so I decided to take a different approach. I’m still involved with the FBI just as a teacher.”

Once you two get into the groove of talking, it’s like no time has passed. You’re laughing and having a good time with him as if you didn’t break his heart all those years ago. You’re falling in love with him all over again.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

Just like that, you’re back to how you were feeling before. The laughter dies off and you pick at the ends of your sweater.

“No. I haven’t had a steady relationship since--” You stop yourself from saying it out loud. He understands what you’re trying to say. He reaches over and grabs your hand. As soon as he makes contact with your skin, you quickly pull away from him. “You have a family.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You look happy.”

“Yeah, I am.”

His words tell you one thing but his tone tells you something completely different. There is a longing in his eyes that suggests he would drop everything in his life if it meant he got to be with you.

“I’m really happy for you,” you say with tears in your eyes.

“Y/N…”

“I shouldn’t have come here. You have a wife and daughter now.” You drop your voice to a whisper. “I’m too late.”

You’re already out the door before Spencer can process your words. Not only was coming to this coffee date a bad idea, but coming back to your hometown where Spencer also lives was an even worse idea. The projects waiting for your involvement will have to come a little earlier than planned.

You hate doing this to Spencer but you write a letter explaining how you feel about him and this whole situation. Once you’re done, you head to his house hoping he isn’t going to be there. You walk up the steps and notice something in the window next to the door. Spencer is sitting on the couch next to his wife and she’s comforting her. About the botched date? About you? About something else?

Damn it. Why did she have to be gorgeous?

You stick the note in the door and swiftly turn to leave. Spencer sniffles and looks up to see your long hair flowing in the wind. At first, he thought he was seeing things but then his brain caught up to the rest of him. By the time he walks out there, you’re already gone. Your note sways to the ground so he picks it up and starts reading it.

Spencer,

I am so sorry for the way we left things all those years ago. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and hurting you was never my intention. I love you with all my heart and wish things had ended differently between us. You have a family now that I never wanted to disturb. I kind of thought by coming back here, I’d be reminded of what’s really important. Seeing you after all these years did just that. I don’t want to hurt you now, but I’m leaving. I’ll be accepting other projects that need me, and you can continue to be with your family. I wish you the very best.

Y/N

Spencer can’t let you go this easily without letting you know how he feels. He tells his wife he’s going over to Derek’s house but ends up going to the biggest airport in the state. It’s the airport that has the most flights coming and going so you have to be here. He doesn’t know which flight you’re going to get on so he buys a ticket for one of them and hope for the best.

He rushes through the entire airport in search of you, wishing you hadn’t gotten on one of the airplanes yet. He’s sweaty and disheveled but determined to find you before you board. He runs around the corner and scans the many gates with people boarding their planes. There at the far end of the building is you. You’re in line to get on the plane.

“Y/N!” Spencer yells.

You don’t hear him and move up in the line. Spencer breaks out in a run in hopes of getting to you in time. You hand the attendant your ticket so she can check you in. She doesn’t question the dried tears on your cheeks as she does. Once finished, you grab your ticket and walk onto the bridge.

“Y/N! Wait!”

Spencer runs past everyone and tries to get onto the bridge but the two attendants posted there prevent him from going in.

“Sir, you need to wait in line like everyone else.”

“Please, I just have to talk to her.”

“Sir, I can’t let you on there without a proper ticket.”

“Y/N!!!” Spencer screams to get your attention, hoping you’re not too far away. He waits agonizingly for you to show up. He’s about to yell again when you come around the corner with tears in your eyes. “Y/N, I need to talk to you.”

“Spencer,” you gasp. You leave the bridge and take him off to the side. People stare but go about their business to give you two some privacy. “What are you doing here?”

“Please don’t leave.”

“But your family--”

“Please don’t leave. I can’t bear to watch you walk away again. I let you go once. I can’t--refuse--to let you walk away again.”

Spencer grabs your face and kisses you like he should have done all those years ago. You get lost in the way he’s making you feel so you kiss him back. It feels so good to feel his lips on yours again. He feels like home. The image of him and his wife pops up in your head, and you pull away from him with tears streaming down your face.

“What about your wife? Your daughter?”

“I don’t know but please don’t leave. I love you.”

He’s only here because of the feelings you drudged up. He was happy before you came back into his life.

“I can’t do this right now. I have to get on the plane.”

“Please don’t get on that plane,” he begs.

“Miss? Are you getting on? We’re taking the last call,” the attendant asks.

“Spencer, I have to get on the plane. They’re waiting for me.” You step away from him even though it kills you to. “You have a family now. Maybe if I never left before, things might have been different. I can’t do that to them.”

You hand your ticket to the attendant even though she allows you to go through. Spencer watches you get on the plane, and the attendant shuts and locks the door behind you. Spencer has a very important choice to make:

Does he go back to his family and pretend this never happened or follow you? Stay with what’s comfortable or follow the one woman who has always made him feel alive? Her or you?

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

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exploring-in-space · 4 months

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I scheduled my last two exams for Jun 15th and the 22nd. They're exactly a week apart and I'm so nervous. I'm ready to be done with studying but I'm afraid I'm going to fail and have to pay to take them again 😭

#Each exam is 230 bucks which is so difficult to swallow esp when you buy two at the same time #I'm upping my study time tremendously but I feel like there is so much I still need to learn and memorize #I just need some positive vibes bc each passing day I'm starting to feel less confident about these exams lol #Life of an intern architect

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smallidarityfan · 2 months

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this is my first ever ask hi I just wanted to say.. u shared that adorable teleporting clip of scar and pearl & Ive been thinking about them ever since!!!!....... & I know this is a smallidarity account but you've infected me so if you have any more scearl thoughts in that large brain of yours. me personally. I am all ears ^__^ ^___^ ^____^

JAHSHS HI im very honoured to claim your first ask and also sorry for replying to this after months 😭 tbh I just wanted an excuse to show this art I made of them like 2 years ago that i recoloured recently

anyways thoughts:

I watched both their POVs since the start of Season 8 to season 9 and loved their vibe of messy, ambitious architect x bright and passionate artist and caretaker?

( character rant ahead )

In Season 9 to me, Scar is this stressed out architect trying to envision his ambitious dream for his theme park within the limited timeframe of the season. He struggles taking care of himself staying up for projects and inevitably leaves messes around the place (chest monsters and lack of proper base lighting)

Even before the sudden light into his world, Scar already admired Pearl's work as an artist— frequently going to her base just to admire what she's done— and now this amazing artist was here at his theme park working as his designated cleaning lady, as someone who doesn't mind the crummy pay of 64 diamonds per week he was only able to offer...

And then Pearl comes around and decides to offer her cleaning lady services to lift his stresses yk? She offers to help him organize his chests, to clean up the area, and to teach him how to take care of himself again. Scar was appalled by that care since nobody really took that time for him, yet slowly melts into it yk?

Haven't even gotten into the life series aspect of their relationship GOSHHHH with the whole sunflower thing AGHDGGDHSD

In Double Life, there should be something said about how Scar was able to understand Pearl's loneliness after Scar's Magical Mountain in Last Life... and especially how they both loved their soulmates in Last Life/3rd Life before they abandoned them in the series about soulmates.....

And then Secret Life.... Secret task: Be Pearl's Wingman.............. "What's going on here Sunflower?"................ "If there's one thing I learnt, Pearl, is that no alliance is ever sacred." "*chuckle* Y'know what Scar, you're growing on me."............... Scar having to choose a side between Scott or Pearl and decided to side with Pearl..................... She's dead Scar, you won..............

IM ACTUALLY CRAZY

In my head, nearing the end of Secret Life is when they both already internalized their feelings but of course so close yet so far due to their own griefs (Pearl specifically with the Mounders and her failure of sacrificing herself for them. AND MAKES IT UP BY OFFERING HERSELF TO SCAR........) to ever pronounce it to each other and now Life!Series Scar lives with that grief within him forever CANONICALLY....... BECAUSE HE ISN'T DEAD........ STILL IN THAT FREAKING SUNFLOWER FIELD........................ GAHHHHHH

#pearlscar #my art #i actually havent watched pearl's s10 i desperately need to get on her POV 😭#trafficshipping #hermitshipping #again I have a maid-for-hire au based on s9 but set in modern real life society #but only exists in my brain....#asks stuff #their relationship starts of slow-burn and one-sided from Scar #but eventually Pearl starts understanding Scar and sees the world through his eyes #i feel like all this could be explained better if my head was set straight but hopefully you get what im saying 😭#i made like 2 rants about pearlscar on this blog which are mostly the same thing

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er1chartmann · 6 months

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Albert Speer

These are some facts and curiosities about Albert Speer, the Fuhrer's architect:

He was born in March 19, 1905.

He spent his youth in the Schloss-Wolfsbrunnenweg, the luxurious family home in Heidelberg, and cultivated a wide range of interests, including skiing, mountain excursions, rugby and, above all, mathematics, a discipline towards which he had a fervent passion.

However, due to his father's opposition, Speer ultimately chose to follow in his uncle's footsteps and study to become an architect.

After studying at the University of Karlsruhe, he moved to Munich, where he studied at the Berlin Institute of Technology, under the guidance of the famous architect Heinrich Tessenow.

During his university years Speer never adhered to any specific faith or political opinion.

This substantial "apoliticality" ceased during his discipleship at Tessenow, when Albert was persuaded by some of his students to participate in a Nazi party demonstration

Speer came into contact with Hitler in 1933 through the intercession of Rudolf Hess, by whom the architect was commissioned to design the apparatus for the Nuremberg rally that year.

Despite some initial doubts, the project met with the sympathy of the Führer and, above all, of Joseph Goebbels, who asked him to renew the Ministry of Propaganda.

An immediate understanding was established between Speer and Hitler: the Führer, in fact, was looking for a young architect capable of giving life to his architectural ambitions for a new Germany and therefore immediately included Speer in his closest circles.

Upon Troost's death in 1934, Speer was chosen by Hitler to replace him as chief architect of the Party.

In 1942, after the death of Fritz Todt (which occurred in a mysterious plane crash), Hitler surprisingly appointed Speer, who had no experience in industrial production, "Minister for Armaments and War Production".

In 1945 Speer refused to carry out the "scorched earth" strategy (established by the Nero decree), which aimed to completely destroy everything in German territories that would fall into enemy hands.

He was a great friend of Karl Brandt (one of the major exponents of Aktion T4) and they acted to save each other's lives: in 1944 Brandt used his powers as General Commissioner of Medical Services and his friendships to save Speer , already ill, from the assassination attempt plotted by Himmler. In 1945 Speer saved Brandt from the death sentence for ''treason''.

Speer was arrested by Allied forces in Flensburg immediately after the end of the conflict, and tried in Nuremberg on charges of using slave labor to run the German war industry.

He was sentenced to twenty years' imprisonment, to be served in Spandau prison in West Berlin.

Prison and solitary confinement provided Speer with the opportunity to write his memoirs, which made him an international celebrity and a very wealthy man.

He died on September 1, 1981, in London.

Some documents discovered after Speer's death prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that as early as 1943 Speer was aware of what really happened in Auschwitz.

Sources:

Wikipedia: Albert Speer

The Nazi Doctors by Robert Jay Lifton ( for the part of Brandt )

Hitler and his loyalists by Paul Roland

I DON'T SUPPORT NAZISM, FASCISM OR ZIONISM IN ANY WAY, THIS IS AN EDUCATIONAL POST

#reichblr #ww2 germany #ww2 history #studyblr #austrian painter #albert speer

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sparkypantaloons · 7 months

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Metronomics

Sometimes it's too much, Gotham. Too much putting his body on the line for a city that can't and won't change.

Bruce imagines what his life could have been, what his children's lives could have been, if things had been different.

Sometimes it's too much. Gotham. Too polluted, too populated, to poor...

Morally poor, he should say. The money's never been more than a means to an end for Bruce and he's never cared who has or hasn't got it. Even if he knows that's evidence enough of how out of touch he really is. To not be, and never have been, the levels of desperate so many of his fellow Gothamites have. Are. But he can't change that now. Not after a lifetime of more money than he could ever hope to spend (and God knows he's tried).

And it's not that he thinks poverty equals moral corruptness. Of course not. But God, if it doesn't cause a rot that's hard to escape. An agony deep in the bones, like an atomic bomb. Almost a century since, but still poisoning the ground and the air and the lives where it fell.

It's too much, sometimes. Gotham. Decades of putting his body, his heart, mind on the line for a city that doesn't change and can't change and... Won't.

Part of his Brucie-rich-boy-bit has always been a pretend man of the people. 'Billionaire spotted on Chicago's L-train', a picture of him in $5,000 jeans, throwing a peace sign on the platform at Quincy. 'Bruce Wayne joins the commute on Bangkok's BTS Skytrain' sunburned and sweaty and grinning like a moron. Public transport is easy when you don't need it. The delays, the overcrowding, the cost. All part of the big adventure when you're rich and famous.

He's deliberate in his appearances. Shows up too big to be allowed and always lost. Asking fellow travellers for directions and breaking every unspoken, local rule. Stopping at the bottom of escalators and standing on the right and never having his ticket ready at the barriers... but he's deliberate in his anonymity too.

He's ridden the New York subway and Shanghai's metro and Vienna's U-bahn more times than he can count. Undercover, trailing marks and tailing suspects, slipping past local police and resident gangsters alike. Just another nameless face in the crowd.

But then there's the times he's just there as himself. Times he rides the lines as Bruce. Not the billionaire, not the Bat. Just Bruce. Grey Ghost fan, hates mushrooms, loves dinosaurs. Father, friend, son. Just another traveller amidst the millions. Nobody wanting anything from him, nobody talking to him, nobody even noticing him. It's freedom unlike any he's ever known.

It makes him wonder what his life might have been. If he hadn't been born in the South Wing's master bedroom of Wayne Manor. What his children's lives might have been, if their father had just been a man, and not this man.

Dick for sure, Olympic medallist. There's no doubt. Even without the money and the training and the classes, his boy was destined for greatness. Gold medals and podiums and adoration. Coaching and teaching and leading. And, Bruce fancies, probably the ESPN correspondent for major competitions. Team USA coach. International Olympic Committee. Whatever Dick wanted; in any life there's nothing he couldn't do.

Cass, Bruce likes to think, would have been an architect. If she'd ever been afforded a normal life, ever been given the tender love and care she so deserved as a child. She reads people with ease, drilled into her as it was by Cain; a skill as crucial as its learning was cruel. But given a normal life? Architecture, Bruce is sure. The way she navigates space, the way she uses it and understands it. What better way to make a life than creating in the space she so fully inhabits? Designing structures that change the way people live, challenge how they think. She'd have been glorious.

Tim, on the other hand... Tim. If Bruce thinks about him too long the guilt starts to set in. His brilliant boy, just next door; alone for so long. Bruce was intimately familiar with the experience, though at least he'd had Alfred when he'd been young. If only he'd just paid more attention, he could have— anyway. In another time, one where Bruce rides the subway and to work and Tim doesn't spend the first decade of his life by himself, surely he'd be some fintech billionaire wizz kid by now. He'd have created a Facebook or eBay or Venmo. But better. Kinder. Richer probably than Bruce, now. And he'd still ride the metro next to his old man.

Damian, Bruce's youngest, sweetest boy. Who knows what Damian could have been, in a life where Bruce and Talia kissed each other goodbye every morning and sweet dreams each night. He's a gentle soul, really, fierce as he is. Shows it in his affection for animals. Gives them the tenderness he never had as a child. Who knows what he could have been in a life filled with light instead of shadow. Warmth and love instead of the League's relentless dark. A scientist maybe, or an astronaut. A teacher, a vet, a nurse. Whatever he wanted. A gardener, a piano tuner, a cab driver. Happy, whatever it was. And safe in the knowledge he was loved.

And then... and then, Jason. Bruce thinks of his second son the most, as he rides the rails. Takes the Bakerloo south from Marylebone and the Tanamachi west to Hirano. What Jason could have been, if things had been different. It doesn't seem fair to dwell on it. To imagine the darling, sweet boy who had been Robin as anything but. To disrespect the incredible fucking gift he's already been given of a second chance, by imagining it as any different. So instead he thinks that Jason would still be Robin. Still Red Hood. Still saving people, still putting himself on the line to make the world better. Even if Bruce didn't love the way he did it, he still loved Jason. Gods did he love him. It's too much, sometimes.

Gotham. Sometimes she's too much. But most of the time, most of the time she was everything. His home, his children's home.

To see the sun rise from the east corner of the clocktower with Cass and swing between the crumbling art deco blocks of Coventry, Dick by his side. Racing down her labyrinth of alleyways and side streets with Tim and even negotiating her sewers with Damian. And Jason. Just seeing Jason's face, scowling at him though it usually is, as he waits outside the Collins Street station for Bruce to arrive.

"Your late." He grunts, as Bruce climbs the steps of the subway. He looks at his watch irritably. "If we miss brunch, you're paying."

"Of course," Bruce says, a warm hand on Jason's shoulder as they begin to walk. "Anything for you, chum."

She's too much, sometimes. Gotham. But most of the time? She's exactly where he wants to be

#bruce wayne #batman #gotham #batman fic #batfic #spbfic #batfam #batfamily #jason todd #dick grayson #cassandra cain #damian wayne #tim drake #wayne manor

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witchofhimring · 9 months

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Loyalty Chapter 10

Synopsis: Ellyn Baratheon is dead and Prince Aemond is plunged into grief. With a newborn son your life forever changes and destiny sets you on a darker path.

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Tyrell Reader

Aemond Targaryen x Ellyn Baratheon

Alys Rivers x Aemond Targaryen

Jaecerion Targaryen x Reader

Jason Lannister x Reader (minor)

(more to come!)

Y/n Tyrells Profiles

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, childbirth, emotional turmoil, death, unrequited love?, humiliation by Ellyn Baratheon, marital abuse, marital consummation, misogamy (internalized as well as external), brief depictions of smut, moontea/abortions, suicide, mentions of rape (not to the reader), Plot twist at the end!

This chapter has mentions of rape and abortions (not inflicted on the reader), so be warned!

A great moan emanated from the forest. Great gusts of wind seemed to hail the birth of your son. Having enough, Lady Mari stormed over to the window and slammed it shut. The infants cries became even louder. Greedily you took in his appearance. He was your son through and through. Your hair, your eyes. In fact you hardly saw anything of Jason Lannister in him. Holding him close your fingers brushed the thin fuzz of hair upon his head. His tiny feet kicked out. "He is strong." You croaked out. With an aching throat you laughed. It was all over. All those months of fear and finally he was born. A son to succeed his father. But more importantly your child was safe. "What will you call him?" Alys Rivers asked. You wanted to name his one of your choosing. Normally it was up to the father. But Jason Lannister was dead and that right fell to him. And by the Gods it was your right. It was you who had borne him. "Owen Lannister." The name had suddenly come to you. Why you were not sure. But perhaps being a parent yourself brought on a burst of feeling towards your own. "Owen Lannister. A good name." Alys Rivers agreed.

The baby would lay with you. Overruling everyone else, you would have your son next to you. He had stopped crying after being fed. Jealously you watched the wet-nurse coo as she fed your son. "Don't you worry My Lady. This boy will grow strong and healthy. We have never failed a babe yet." The pain, in retrospect, had not been as bad as feared. There was still pain but it was all worth it. You watched your son be fed by the fire. Sleepily your eyes closed.

You sleep was not long. A conversation woke you and Lady Dara stood over you. She was breathless and had clearly ran all the way here. "Princess Ellyn has passed." The midwife clutched the babe to her breast and muttered a prayer. There was no such emotion on you face, there would be no show of grief. The woman who had tormented you for the past year was dead, another ghost for Harrenhal. No prayer was uttered from your lips, just as you had not lit a candle for Vaeron and Lucerys. "I see. Give Prince Aemond my condolences." Then you laid down and went to sleep. The covers were drawn up to cover your face. Smiling, you exhaled a great breath and made sure the midwife could not see the jubilation on your face. You did not care if it made you wicked. Ellyn had been a terror to you and been the architect of your misery. You still remembered the day she had made you undress her. All the public humiliations you endured at her hand. Once she had mocked your misery and talked of all the children she would bear Prince Aemond. All that had turned to ashes in her mouth and here you lay with a healthy baby boy while she lay dying. Ellyn had not known the delight of becoming a mother. Nor had she. That was something Ellyn did not have that as of now was out of reach.

To your great surprise Prince Aemond paid you a visit. He was haggard looking. Had Prince Aemond loved Ellyn, as he had never loved you? You did not entertain any notion that he had visited you out of caring. "He looks healthy." Prince Aemond's voice was strained. "He is. And I would have borne you a healthy son." But none of this you said aloud. The thought shamed you. The year had turned you into a bitter woman who thought more of scores than one of compassion. Prince Aemond seemed unsure of what to do. You noticed he bore new scars, one lining his left cheek. Where the rumors true? Had Prince Aemond truly set the Riverlands ablaze? Rumors were bound to arise is such times. Such as the one about King Aegon having his illegitimate children fighting in pits. You were not even sure Kings Landing had fighting pits. "I hope he is." The baby opened his eyes and opened his mouth in a big yawn. Such a little thing should be minuscule, but for you it was a fascination to behold. This beautiful baby boy was the most precious thing to ever exist. At least to you he was, but the same could be said of every mother.

"Where will I be going after this?" With Kings Landing in enemy hands your future there was no clear path. No. It was not just your. Everyone's future was uncertain, and no one was likely to have a happy one. A new fear dwelt within you. Your own mortality had always been a factor you considered. While your possible death had always been a terrifying prospect it was nothing compared to the fear for Owen. If your son died how would you ever survive? This boy....this tiny human not yet a whole week old had your allegiance. From now on you would work for his welfare.

Prince Aemond was still there. Right now you wanted to be left alone with Owen. "I would like to spend time with my son, My Prince." "I-" Prince Aemond cut himself off, and nodded. There was a tenseness in his jaw you could not quite understand. "I will leave you to it." With another nod of his head Prince Aemond was gone. With a weary sigh you rested the baby against your chest. The white blanket had been crafter by Lady Mari. She had sewn lions onto the rim. You appreciated her craft and desired to thank Lady Mari. Maybe later, when you were not so tired. In the mean time you would wander the realm of sleep, where pools of blood and Weirwood trees awaited.

These dreams no longer frightened you like they once did. But you would never get used to the voices that wailed in your ears. And unlike normal dreams you remembered every moment of it. The dawn did not make them fade away into nothing. At first you had not wanted to believe it. Bad dreams like these brought only bad things. It felt like if you were to admit that then those things would happen. To much of this felt so real, waking up to stinging skin. Hearing voices in the trees. Either you were going bad or something otherworldly was happening. Neither was appealing. But what could you do? They would either call you made or take you for a witch. If things stayed as they were, only dreams and whispers, you might be alright. But curiosity was a powerful thing. As was fear. If some malevolent spirit was after you then why? A curse of some sort? But who would do such a thing? Ellyn might have, had she possessed such power. Though she may not be the only contender. There were stories of Gods who punished arrogant mortals. In their anger the Gods may have sought to punish you. The thought only angered you. What had they done to inspire devotion within you? They, immortal beings, dwelt high above while humanity suffered. Bitter, you cursed them in your heart.

You had perused most of Harrenhal's books by this point. Despite the size of the library only a few were actually fit for reading. They were either damaged due to age or poor keep and the rest were written in languages you were not privy to. A few weeks after your childbirth you were once more free to look amongst the shelves. Beforehand the task had fallen to Alys Rivers. After being kept in your room for so long going out was a joy. It was only too bad the grounds were closed off. It had been months since you had been able to be beyond the castle walls.

Baby Owen rested on your lap as the last birds took flight. Your sons birth had been sent out and Casterly Rock had replied. They would send a retinue to take your son to his rightful place. The only thing that worried you was that there was only mention of his departure, not yours. Perhaps it was only a slip up. You had sent word to Lady Joan about the next course of action. Her reply was not what you hoped. Only that her grandchild was doing well and that finally your deceased husbands brother had a son. Apparently Lady Joan wished to betroth her granddaughter to the newborn Lannister babe. "We must grow strong." Was what she wrote. Though your anxiety was great, so long as Prince Aemond lived you would be safe.

"Which book today?" Alys Rivers took a seat beside you. Being tired of your room, you took a small circular room in the tower that had been utterly abandoned. Pillows had been propped up on the window stood. The view was spectacular, you could see the run rise far in the distance. This tallest part of Harrenhal allowed you to see far and wide. Only on Vaehgar had you such a view. Owen slept in his cradle at your feet. His hair had darkened slightly and as each day went by they said "oh, he looks just like his sire!" you could have scoffed. Owen Lannister was clearly all you. Though you never said any of these words out loud.

Alys Rivers walked over to the babe and crouched down. One long finger pressed against his wrist. "He is a beautiful babe." You smiled. Of course he was. Alys Rivers looked at you, then back at the babe, then to you once more. "They told me he looks like Ser Jason Lannister. Although I think he takes after you." The comment brought a mixture of pride, surprise and affection for Alys. It could have risen out of pure loneliness, but it felt nice to have Alys around.

For a moment you watched Alys coo over the baby. Owen opened his eyes and gazed up at the woman above him. Suddenly a tiny hand came out and seized one of her black locks. "Oh, oh my goodness! I am sorry!" Alys laughed as you rushed forward to pry the babies hand away. Because Owen was so little his strength was next to nothing. "Babies will do that. Once this little boy was in my charge, Henry was his name, and by the time he was done with me it was a miracle I had any hair left!" Your own hair was lose and it occurred to you that such as style may be unsuitable in the future. There was a sad look of Alys's face. Once more you wondered about the possible children she lost. Then you considered "what if the children lost were not solely hers?". If Alys had been the castle wet nurse then some of the children would have not been hers by blood. They said Prince Aemond slaughtered every person that bore the name Strong. Had one of those killed at one point been cared for by Alys? Such a thought was unpleasant and you put it away. There was no proof of that, no need to cause yourself unnecessary grief.

Alys finally looked at the book you were reading. It was titled "Gods of Westeros", a book that was controversial in the eyes of the sept. Even you, whos faith wavered, felt slightly uneasy dabbling in what one could call borderline heresy. Alys stood and and sat next to you. "Which Gods?" "The Seven, of course, the Old Gods kept by the First Men, Mother Rhoyne, The Drowned God, R'hllor God of Light. That is all I have come across." You turned the page. "The Great Other" was the next chapter. Familiar drawings of White Walkers crept out at you. "Have you hears of The Great Other?" You shook your head. Alys turned the page. "The God of R'hllor, worshiped by the Red Priestesses. They say the night is dark and full of terrors. The God R'hllor will burn away the darkness. The Greater Other, is his opposite, a God of cold and darkness." "Who worships these Gods?" "Few in Westeros, mostly in Essos." "What of The Great Other?" Alys shuddered. "Only The Others would serve such a God." You wanted to ask which Gods Alys served. The question seemed rude and invasive so you abstained. The idea of Alys being a heathen unsettled you. Though were you in a position to judge?

That night dead corpses haunted your dreams. And a rustling that sounded like the wings of death came ever closer.

You watched them lay Ellyn into the ground. With Storms End blocked off escorting the princesses corpse there was not an option. So she would have to make due with Harrenhal. A kinder woman might have felt sad. As Ellyn was lowered into the ground and the septon spoke all you could think of were her taunts and jeers. You wondered if she knew you gave birth to a boy. A dark part of you fancied that it was despair over your sons birth that carried Ellyn off, spitting bile as bitter as her words. Your eyes went to Prince Aemond, standing over where his wife lay. There was a coldness to him. A rage in his eyes. Beside him stood Lady Maris Baratheon, clad in black and standing suspiciously near Prince Aemond. One of her hands rested on his arm. It would not surprise anyone is Prince Aemond married another of house Baratheon to keep their allegiance. Would it be Lady Maris with a sharp wit or her sisters? They said that Lady Floris Baratheon was very beautiful, having only just celebrated her nineteenth name day. Lady Cassandra was said to be shy, but beautiful as well. What had attracted Prince Aemond to Ellyn? None had made mention of her beauty and you only knew of Ellyn's spite. Perhaps she could be charming, just not to you.

When Owen started to fuss it gave you an excuse to leave. A nursemaid and Alys followed you inside. The nursemaid fed Owen and you dismissed her. It felt good to walk about the castle again. "What happened in this room?" It was on one of the upper levels. Do not ask which one, counting them was hard. This one was larger than the rest and must have been used to house someone important. "Ser Lyonel and Harwin's." A sudden chill ran through you. Lord Lyonel and his won had been burned alive in these rooms. Whether by vengeful ghosts or an enemy you could not say. "Well, let us get going." As if there was a hurry to go anywhere. The next room you ventured into had once been used as a sort of office. Prince Aemond had briefly used it but feeling uneasy in those rooms chose different ones. There was still a desk and chair, forlornly forgotten in this wing of the castle. Banners hung on the walls. "Where these houses that ruled Harrenhal?" "Yes." Now that was not necessarily true. House Hoare who ruled before Aegon's Conquest was unceremoniously left out. House Qoherys, with its x and four skulls. a bad omen of things to come as that house met a bad end. The Harroway family met an even more horrid end. Maegor the Cruel had slaughtered all who bore the name Harroway when his wife Queen Alys bore a malformed creature. The black tower in flames, an imposing sigil for any house. The next house also had towers, though less impressive. The Towers did not last long, even less when you consider the fact that Rhaena Targaryen took over its keep for a time. Poor Princess Rhaena, who might have been Queen ended her days in these halls. As sad fate for anyone, especially for one who was called Queen of the West. Lastly were the Strongs with their symbol of the Tridents three forks. How long Housed Strong would last was anyone's guess. Larys Strong had no heirs, and he was the last of them. Unless one were to count Jeoffrey Velayron who was truly Harwin's son. But his parentage could never be acknowledged, he was a bastard anyway.

" I remember Ser Lyonel working in this room. My job, when I was not doing my duty to the children was to serve the Lord." "Were there very many children in Harrenhal?" Somehow the idea of children in Harrenhal seemed preposterous. Baby Owen fussed. Harrenhal wiped out those who lived there, their lines obliterated. "We do not rule Harrenhal." You told yourself. "More than you would think. There were never many noble children racing around. But there were plenty of servants with children. Every morning I would wake up and run to this room and that. I remember most of the children. Sweet things they were. I remember a little girl called Dania, tiny little girl, with a beautiful smile and blue eyes. Though not all of them were small. Harwin Strong-" Both of you did a double take. Had you misheard? "A different one." Alys quickly said. You laughed to dispel the tension but it did not wholly go away. The room was quickly abandoned.

Whispers were coming from the Red Keep that Rhaenyra's base was quacking. Kings Landing was starving and the Black Queen, as they had taken to calling her, had holed herself up. There were even rumors of a falling out with her husband. How much of this was true or not was unclear. But Otto Hightower always said the man was perverse. There was hope Kings Landing would fall soon. For months Rhaenyra had held out but the situation was not looking good. Jaecerion had been ruling Casterly Rock in the absence of your son. It eased your mind, as some might want to displace Owen. The betrothal of Lady Jenna Florent to your newborn nephew named Lord Jason after his uncle went ahead. They were young but when they turned fourteen the couple would marry and live as husband and wife. At first it was alarming when betrothal letter came in for your son. Lord Hobert had even offered the hand of his granddaughter. Quite a splendid match, Lannister and Hightower. It might have even been the one you chose. Only two days previously a letter smuggled in was sent and penned on the request of King Aegon offering the hand of his daughter Princess Jaehaera The thought thrilled you, a Targaryen Princess for your son! "What do you say to that my love?" Your son snoozed away, completely unaware of the magnificent future his mother had planned. When you went to bed that night there were dragons, crowns, and children with silver hair.

"Another flight?" Lady Dara and yourself watched Vhaegar land. Prince Aemond had returned from this newest expedition. Everyone wore grim expressions. A smoky substance emanated from the old dragons mouth, a telltale sign that Vhaegar had been setting something on fire. But what had she been burning? Whispers spoke of families up in smoke. Lives snuffed out before they had truly begun. Prince Aemond himself was not unhurt either. He bore wounds, though none too serious. The days were Prince Aemond would come to you to patch up his cuts and bruises were long gone. These days he would have a maester to wait upon him. "It is getting cold, come." Lady Dara followed you inside. You made sure Owen was sound asleep, which he still way. He was looking cuter by the day, more plum with such pretty eyes. The warmth against your chest brought on a fierce maternal love for this baby.

Just ahead of you strode Lady Maris with her own ladies. Realizing both of you were about to cross paths you politely nodded. She returned the gesture but there was something calculated in her look. You would have expected anger, after all, she was Ellyn's sister. But surprisingly there was none of that. Her ladies had been discrete. Whether that boded good or ill you did not know. When you got back to the bedroom a wet nurse quickly took Owen off your hands to feed him. Lady Mari was sewing by the fire and once more Lady Clarisssa was absent. "Where is Lady Clarissa?" It was not that you had a great need for her at the moment. Her frequent disappearances had made you feel uneasy. Lady Dara and Lady Mari shared looks. Whatever had fallen upon Lady Clarissa they did not want to divulge. Quickly you dismissed the nursemaid, taking back you son. Owen, often sleepy after feeding was quick to leave the waking world.

"What has happened to Lady Clarissa?" It was your duty as their mistress to be informed of ladies wellbeing's. Lady Dara's hands clasped together, locking like iron. A look of apprehension crossed Lady Mari's face. They looked to one another until it became to much for Lady Mari. "We were on your way to Harrenhal when brigands attacked out carriage. And they stopped us and eventually knights came. But by then..." The words were too horrible to speak and she did not need to. A hand to your mouth, the information settled into horror. Poor Lady Clarissa. And you had no idea. "Is....is there anything I can do to help?" It felt silly to ask. What could you possibly do to comfort a woman who had undergone such an ordeal? When Lady Mari took a deep breath you heart dropped. There was more to come. "Lady Clarissa is with child, we think." You gasped. It was one thing to be raped. To be pregnant made it so much worse. While a woman might conceal the fact she lay with a man outside the confines of marriage, to be pregnant changed things. No one would care that it was rape and not of Lady Clarissa's will. They would judge her just the same. "How far along?" "About three months." Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes. "Someone will need to retrieve moontea from the maester." Lady Dara suddenly shook her head. "He will know. And if he does then it is more likely Lady Clarissa will be shamed." You had to think. So long as this whole issue could be kept private then Lady Clarissa could still be saved. As you were not the lady of this castle the maester was not required to obey. That fell to Prince Aemond. "I will go ask the Prince." "Don't!" The pitch of Lady Maris voice made you and Lady Dara jump. "The prince may not help, if he thinks the act is of her own volition." But there was no other choice. It was that or Lady Clarissa's downfall.

"You are quite sure this was rape?" You scowled at Prince Aemond. "Lady Clarissa is a woman of good character. I do not see why she would sully her name is such a way." You were so worried he would say no. Then, if that were the case, Lady Clarissa's situation would be worse. Perhaps Prince Aemond would kick her out. That would absolutely not happen, Lady Clarissa would not be another Elinor. Prince Aemond got up to his feet. You noticed his left hand was bandaged. When he set it down Prince Aemond hissed in pain. "Have you seen a maester for that?" You inquired. "Yes. Now let us go so the maester. And send a servant to fetch Lady Clarissa.

The maester's rooms were in another tower, inconveniently. Maester Whells was younger than most maesters with thinning brown hair. "So you say the lady is around three months?" "Yes. About that time." You replied. The maester pulled out a role of parchment and wrote something down. The door opened and a pale faced Lady Clarissa stumbled in. "Clarissa, it is quite alright. We will help you." You gently took Lady Clarissa by her elbows and she was steered to the nearest chair. The maester scrutinized Lady Clarissa with steely eyes. "You say this was the result of an attack?" There was a not of incredulity in his voice. "You speak as if this is an anomaly. Tell me Maester Whells, tell us how we women can avoid rape during war, for we would all like to hear it." Under the harshness of his gaze the maester had the good grace to look embarrassed. Lady Clarissa's hand trembled in yours. "I..well..I will need to examine that Lady. Prince Aemond and Lady Y/n, if you could leave the room." Lady Clarissa vigorously shook her head. "My Lady it is highly irregular for-" But you interrupted him. "I will stay." Prince Aemond was quick to leave. Lady Clarissa was undressed and made to wear a thin gown. She lay there on the bed, spread legged and frightened. When Maester Whells pulled out a familiar looking device you said "why is that being brought out?!" "I must check to see how far along she is." As Maester Whells inserted it into Lady Clarissa she cried out and squeezed your hand. Those ten seconds seemed to last forever until Lady Clarissa was finally allowed to sit up. Lastly, she peed in a bowl and was told to redress. By the end she was no longer shaking but look so tired. You sent her to bed and ordered food to be brought. The atmosphere you returned to was tense. Although the wet nurses had no idea they felt the anxiety. Lady Dara, Lady Mari and yourself were quiet all evening. Only Owen made any noise. Dinner was little better. Prince Aemond sat at the head overlooking a small court. The ladies of Lady Maris's retinue, and those who once belonged to Ellyn, quietly stole looks. They would look your way, and then pretend not to. You prayed none of them found out.

It was a blessed relief to dive under the covers. Lady Dara would be your companion tonight. Sleep came in its usual form, with bloody dreams and voices. You were pulled here and there, with no will of your own. The howling grew greater and soon it overwhelmed you. It plunged you into a pool of blood, unable to get out. But somehow in the midst of all that blood there were little butterfly wings.

Two days later the matter of Lady Clarissa's pregnancy had to be addressed. A closely guarded secret, Maester Whells, Prince Aemond, Lady Clarissa and yourself were the only ones privy to this meeting. "At three months this is the latest I would encourage one to rid themselves of the baby. But it should be quick and not too painful in this case My Lady." "Lady Clarissa?" Lady Clarissa was sitting next to you, still as a statue. Even after two days of rest she still looked haggard. "I need...I need time." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. "My Lady, I am afraid time is something we have little of. How I administer the moon tea depends on how far along the babe is. Frankly, I am not comfortable inducing a labor past the fourth month." Lady Clarissa looked like to faint. You placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her from swaying. "Think about it. We will continue this in the morning." Maester Whells looked ready to protest. "Please, she needs it." You were worried because Lady Clarissa was sporting a green hue. The pallor one took before throwing up. Helping her from the chair, you lead Lady Clarissa outside. Prince Aemond and Maester Whells followed, speaking all the time. As the group left you though there was the patter of fear. Shaking your head, you convinced yourself it was an affliction of the imagination.

That assumption was a grave mistake on your part. Whispers were racing around the hall, ones that made your heart stop cold. It was on the way down to breaking your fast that the whole day would be spoiled. Only spoiled was not strong enough for the absolute heartbreak that would render itself upon Harrenhal. Two women were gossiping on the staircase. Paying no mind you continued down until a name cropped up. "Lady Clarissa-well she is no true lady from what I hear-" It was then that both women realized who was next to them. "What did you say? Speak up!" They flinched but you did not care. You went right up to one of them, a tall black haired woman. "What is your name?" She did not want to tell, but could not dismiss a direct order from you. "Lady Ellois Dondarrion." "Lady Dondarrion. And why is Lady Dondarrion gossiping about Lady Clarissa?" Lady Dondarrion was biting her lip. "They are all talking about it, not just me. Lady Clarissa is with child." Internally you cursed. Who had told?! "Where did you hear this information?" "It was not me who overheard. I am not sure who, only that Lady Swann told me this morning." "Which Lady Swann?" "Lady Bella Swann, My Lady." You were livid. The impulse to throw Lady Dondarrion and her companion down the stairs was strong. Instead of that, you departed, leaving both women frozen. You did not know who Lady Bella Swann was but she would feel your wrath.

After breaking your fast Lady Swann was summoned. You chose the nearest drawing-room as an audience space. Sitting in a chair and flanked by ladies you hoped to intimidate this Lady Bella Swann. The woman entered, only one could say she was more a child than woman. A tiny thing, she did not even look fully developed. "How old are you, Lady Swann?" She flushed and bobbed a quick curtsy. "Ten and three, My Lady." Suddenly the idea of intimidating this lady made you uncomfortable. "Take a seat. Lady Dara could you?" Nervously Lady Swann sat down. "I hear that a rumor has been going around about one of my ladies. Lady Ellois Dondarrion says that it was you who told her." Lady Swann looked ready to cry. "Who do you serve?" "I grew up serving Lady Joan Tyrell, I served the Princess Ellyn, now I serve Lady Maris Baratheon." You leaned back in the chair. Was this a plot by Lady Maris to unseat you? For a lady's women were extensions of herself and could be judged for their misdemeanors. "Where did you overhear this information?" "I overheard the Prince and Maester Whells, My Lady." So it was her who started this whole affair. Suddenly any sympathy you held for Lady Dondarrion evaporated. "Do you realize what you have done? A lady's reputation is torn because of you." Tears welled up in Lady Dondarrion's brown eyes. "Plesase....I'm sorry I did not mean to..." You did not care to read the rest. This little idiot might be young, but younger girls had more sense. The idea that this may not be a simple slip but a plot did occur. If Lady Maris wished to settle a score then getting rid of Clarissa was a good way to do it. Rising to your feet, all the ladies curtsied. "Lady Dondarrion, this information will be brought to the Prince. Pray he takes it to mind to be merciful. The woman stumbled out. "My Lady, it may not-" Lady Mari put up a hand. "I will not spare sympathy for those who set out to ruin the lives of others."

"Everyone knows." You sat opposite from Alys who was rocking you son. Owen had fallen asleep, the fire glinting on his hair. Today Alys bore ill new. It was none too surprising but dreadful nevertheless that Clarissa's condition had spread. Clarissa had refused to leave her room by now. You spent time trying to coax her out. Eventually you sent in a septa who might ease her pain. It being late, you headed to your room and spent the evening with Alys. A howling wind was raging inside, the shutters shuddered in its place. You would look at Owen, worried that he may be disturbed. But for today you were safely tucked away.

"Could I get you something to read?" Alys put Owen back into the crib. "No. Let us just sit." Worried over Clarissa and the war, you could not bully your brain into concentration. The maid opened the door carrying a steaming bowl of meat and bread. "Ah, dinner. Put it over there I will be out in a moment." You waiting until the maid was gone. The floor was cold and you considered requesting a carpet. You and Alys took places by the fire. Extra food had been supplied for Alys. By now most knew she spent the evenings with you. It was strange, but her presence made you feel less lonely. The past year had been so isolating that companionship was desperately craved. Even from someone like Alys, a commoner and bastard. Yet even so, if the past year had not happened you might still have sought out her company. She was the most engaging person you had ever met. "Poor Clarissa." You forlornly closed bleary eyes. "A sad thing. Unfortunately too common. Even before the war, so many women would arrive pregnant or child in arms. And yet everyone acts scandalized despite the frequency." "But Clarissa's prospects are ruined. There is no way she can just have this child and move on? Clarissa's family will likely abandon her." "They won't help her? But they are a great family. Surely they could lend a hand." "Unfortunately, Alys, being a great family means they are that more ruthless. Even to their own kin." Alys pondered your words and gazed into the fire.

"It is a strange thought." Alys's eyes looked bright in the light, her paleness illuminated. Like two great emeralds placed against a smooth opal. "Men can father a hundred bastards and none blink an eye. But a girl gets pregnant through...well you know, and is suddenly a pariah. You know I have always felt sorry for Rhaenyra." Shocked, any sleepiness was banished. "Rhaenyra Targaryen? What, the Black Queen?!" The last part you spat out. "But have you never thought about it?" Alys was still not looking at you, her eyes still on the fire. Perhaps her thoughts were a thousand miles from here, so engrossed that she was not aware of the surroundings. "Thought about what?" You looked towards the door. This was not a conversation you wanted anyone to overhear. After what happened with Clarissa one could never be too careful. Getting up, you wanted to the door and opened it. The hallway was empty. "Does the King not have bastards?" Alys said as you sat down. What she said was true. Everyone knew King Aegon had silver-haired bastards all over Kings Landing. "The King has numerous bastards while Rhaenyra has only three. And at least she cares for hers. Is it not odd that women are punished for what men take as their due."

You had never thought about it like that. The situations were familiar in a sense. "Rhaenyra chose to sleep outside the confines of marriage. Cassandra was raped." Alys made a nod of acknowledgment. "But if she were not? Would she deserve to be harassed and abandoned by her families." You could not bring yourself to say yes. It was the way of the world. If one had asked you if a woman should be shunned for such foolish actions a year ago you might have said yes. But now the notion felt....icky. It was true that while men such as King Aegon and Jason Lannister fathered scores of bastards a woman could be ruined by just one. You thoughts went to Lady Redwyne. Was she shunned by her family to? You had never thought to ask. Did they whisper about her in the halls as they did Clarissa? While you had never been pregnant through an affair there were those who scorned you. Thinking you were Prince Aemond's mistress some had shunned you. Although your name had been cleared and most scored Ellyn for the rumors you would never forget. Your friends from Kings Landing had hardly sent any letters at all.

"That is true, and I suppose it is unfair. But she is trying to pass off a baby that is not her husbands. And the next heir must be legitimate." "I suppose your point has merit. This society is based upon legitimacy." Alys looked like she wanted to say more but judged it unwise. Owen saved you from the awkward tension by getting fussy. His wails increased in pitch and you quickly scooped him up. "Shall I get the wet nurse?" You shook your head. "Just give me time alone with him." Long after Alys left, her words remained.

"Has she eaten today?" Lady Mari and yourself stood outside Clarissa's door. Clarissa lay on her bed, pale and death with tangled blonde locks. Two weeks and her behavior had hardly changed. Maester Whells was becoming impatient and wanted her to decide. "She may lose the baby and be spared making a decision." Lady Mari's knuckles were red with rubbing. She had been up all night on vigil for Clarissa. "And has she eaten?" "A little bread. But I doubt it shall account for much." Both of you looked in on the sleeping woman. "Let us get her something appetizing and send for a maester. And you looked tire Lady Mari. Rest for a bit." Lady Mari nodded and went in the direction of her room. You on the other hand went to find a maid. Afterwards you went to the maester and told him to check on Clarissa.

A sudden wave of exhaustion came over you. Clarissa's state made been an all consuming worry. It did not help that Harrenhal's very being put the bravest of souls on edge. You pushed the door open to find an apprehensive wet-nurse and Prince Aemond holding your son. You froze feeling a mixture of alarm and fear. Why Prince Aemond holding your son brought about fear you did not know. Just that the sight of your son in his arms disconcerting. Prince Aemond seemed to sense your feeling for he immediately dispensed Owen into your arms. "Hello lovely." You smiled down at Owen. His little eyes opened and registered you. A happy coo left his mouth and you trace Owen's brow. He had grown strong in a past month. The wet-nurse said he fed well and would grow into a fine strong man. "He looks like you." Prince Aemond commented. You would have thought it mere flatter if not for the fact it was very true. There was hardly any Jason Lannister in his son's face. "I know." You cradled the baby close. "You named him after your father. I remember as children you promised to name a boy after him." A long time ago, practically centuries ago (at least for you) you and Prince Aemond had talked about children. In those dreams you imagined the children with platinum hair. But such fantasies were of no use now. "Leave us." Prince Aemond ordered the wet-nurse. It was not just Prince Aemond, the baby, and you.

"Y/n. Daemon Targaryen will be upon Harrenhal soon." "So I suppose it will be time to leave soon." "Yes." "To Casterly Rock?" Prince Aemond shook his head. "No. Highgarden." You had not seen Highgarden in years. The memories were blurry and so far away. You remembered certain smells, noises and how it felt to wander through those great gardens. "Why not Casterly Rock?" "It is not safe there Y/n. The Ironborn will likely attack again and brigands travel the roads. Rhaenyra is still calling for your head and Casterly Rock is in little position to defend dragons due to the conflict." "I thought the Tyrells were neutral in this war." "Yes, well, you will be smuggled in and hidden." The baby snorted through his little nose. A Lannister in Highgarden. The Kings of the Reach and Lannisters of Casterly Rock once fought together against House Targaryen. They had burned for it. Perhaps the Tyrell's would not hold Owen being a Lannister against him. If life had gone differently you would have been Lady Tyrell and Highgarden would have been home. "When is this supposed to happen?" "When they arrive. During war there is no certainty of when." "Very well. I shall inform my ladies." You turned to leave but Prince Aemond called out. "Yes, My Prince?" He seemed to be struggling for the right words. Prince Aemond's jaw was tense making the gaunt features of his face more prominent. You noticed the dark shapes under his eye. The thin leather on his body did not hide the exhausted bearing of its keeper.

Waiting for him to speak, you focused on the babe. "Can we sit? My legs are tired. Childbirth had taken a toll on your body. Moving about was no longer an unconscious effort. You only hoped that your body would resolve itself soon. Placing the babe in a crib beside the chair you sat down. Prince Aemond's leather creaked as he did the same. "We have not talked in a while." Prince Aemond was not looking at you, but at thin boney hands. Once these hands were pale with a tinge of pink and callouses. These days they were akin to bones. "Are you well?" Much to your displeasure there was genuine concern there. Maybe not what it once was but still there. You were not entirely sure what to think about that. One one hand there was displeasure at this weakness. On the other to lose every part of yourself would be a great sadness. "The war has been hard on us all." Was his unsatisfactory reply. A few more minutes of silence passed before Prince Aemond continued. "Your....friendship has waned." Was he blaming you for this?! "I am not sure waned is the word I would use. Perhaps completely obsolete is the word." You hoped you came off as cold rather than sulky. "I am not blaming you. I just feel this is a matter of importance." You gave a derisive snort that on any other occasion would have been embracing. Decorum was the furthest thing on your mind. And could anyone blame you? After years of friendship Prince Aemond had thrown you to the side. It had been so easy for him, a constant torment for you. "Why do you suddenly care?" Prince Aemond's face was still obscured. "I always have." Your hand twitched in irritation. "I doubt it." "I never meant to hurt you." "Much good that has done me." "Y/n please." But there was no pity in you. No matter how sad he looked you would not give way.

"Do you have any idea what it was like for me!? The constant humiliation I suffered while you continued on. Both of us were under suspicion yet only I suffered its affects. I have been by your side through everything. All those years. But you threw me to the wolves and abandoned me! As if I were nothing! So do not think for a second that any words will fix anything." You felt so light yet so heavy at that moment. These were words you had kept in for a year. To get it out was such a relief. But you were not done yet. "And your wife! Did you hear the things she did? All the rumors she spread and her constant torment. Did you know she had be undress her on your wedding night? Well, I suppose a woman you just met is more important than a friend of many years." The last part you spat out like a curse. Prince Aemond was still staring at his hands, still not looking up.

"Y/n, I am sorry-" You did not want to hear it. You would not hear it! Did Prince Aemond think an apology would fix anything? "Please leave." Prince Aemond finally lifted his head. To your alarm you saw tears in his eyes. There were not flowing like a waterfall but his eyes were bright. He looked to be in physical pain. Never before had you seen Prince Aemond tremble, but here he was. You reached for a bowl of warm water and a towel. Handing it to Prince Aemond you sat back down. Prince Aemond took off his eyepatch and held the towel to his eye. "I apologize if my words have cause you pain." It felt churlish not to say so. No matter how angry you were his pain still brought sympathy. "I think a maester may be of better use than I." The anger was gone. You hated to admit it but there was guilt. Whether it was warranted or not remained unclear. Your thoughts about Prince Aemond had been all over the place. You needed time alone, away from Prince Aemond. Perhaps you would never be able to face him again.

Prince Aemond left. Whatever might have happened one could not say. Not this time at least.

Notes:

Ladies and Gentlemen (are there any gentlemen is the crowd?), part one of this story is near completion. Just a few more chapters (about 3-4) and then the shitshow known as part 2 begins. You will notice that the reader drops "Rivers" when referring to Alys as a way of showing their deepening bond. I promise that Alys's motivations will be revealed in time, but that will have to wait. In the last chapter a few people asked if Aemond was in love with reader. The answer is no (thought this may change), at least not in a romantic way. Reader was his first friend and constant companion. He will always carry something for her regardless of time. When the reader referred to Aemond as a kinslayer in the last chapter it hurt because out of everyone, to hear it from Y/n was too much. We will also be getting an Aemond pov soon.

Also I made a mistake when it came to Y/n's family tree. I named her cousins wife Lady Joan when originally I named her Jenna. I will be going to change all the Joan's to Jenna's so I have that to look forward to. Also I named Laura Reed as a mother to readers father Owen Tyrell. Laura Reed is actually the mother of her mother. Bit of a whoops because Laura Reed being the mother to Amelia Tarley is important for this story.

About the magic. I had a bit of difficulty when it came to introducing magic as a plot device for this book because I was more focused on reader's relationships. But keep in mind that the magic aspect is very important to this book.

I honestly can't believe we have gotten this far into the book and I want to thank everyone who had read, liked and commented on my story!

Happy New Year!

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