#Life Impaled

[onlyhurtforaminute]

NAZGHOR-THE THRONE OF DARKNESS

[lo-batteryy]

Can we talk about this divinely inspired shot in the trailer

[leal-hound]

uh oh

[fivekrystalpetals]

Bram waited 1000 years for this day to come 😭

[kizzer55555]

Ultimate Escape Room

Sam, Danny, and Tucker are bored. Nothing seems to be a challenge anymore. Summer vacation is coming up but they can’t agree on anything . Themepark? What’s a better roller coaster than Jack driving? Scary movie? I’m sorry, nothing beats Fright Knight’s nightmare realm. Bungie jumping? Danny can fly. Then Tucker, who’s been typing on his computer, asks “what about an escape room?”. The others are about to shut the idea down because seriously? Easy. But Tucker just grins and shows them his computer screen.

“Ever heard of Arkham?”

Danny and Sam lean over to read the description and all three turn to each other and grin. 

Now, what’s the fastest way to get into Arkham?

…

So the chaos trio do ✨something✨ that gets them locked up in Arkham and then try to escape and they keep. You know, normal stuff for Arkham inmates. Except this trio? Keep. Getting. Out. Of. Their. Cells. So they are just passing by locked up rogues and waving at them as an army of prison guards chase after them. Sure they could get out the easy way (Aka powers) but no, this is a challenge so they have the normal rules of an escape room. Aka, you can’t break anything and an extra rule where if a guard catches you, then you can’t fight back (also, no one can get hurt). (They make fake identities and everything). So they need to go through the whole process. Figure out how to unlock cuffs. Could be learning to pick a lock with a spoon/stick/long nails. Then find the keys. Possibly having to crawl through vents to get in the warden’s office. Or making deals with prison inmates. Like, I’ll get this for you if you give me that (however they extract a promise that the rogue can’t kill anyone with whatever they help them with.) So they are in prison literally doing errands like find freeze’s weapons in exchange for him telling them the passcode to the gate or something. Or getting Waylon some meat from the cafeteria and he’ll break the lock on this movable vault that has materials to make smoke bombs they can use to distract the front guards. 

These kids are just going wild and it gets to the point where Arkham has to call the bats (like no Waylon, we won’t escape with you, we have to do it without breaking any walls!) So literally the only reason they are not escaping is because they want to do it ‘right’. But they are also aiding other rogues in their escape (at least certain ones. They aren’t helping joker no matter what he offers)

It’s driving the bats mad. They have vigilantes stationed in each hall, in multiple monitor rooms.

They aren’t even using anything clever to block the cameras. They’re using mirrors. Mirrors! Where did they even get so many handheld mirrors! 

They are running circles around the bats. The escaped rogues literally aren’t doing anything yet because they want to see how the three hellions will escape the entire bat clan. They have bets going. So there is a temporary truce.

Just imagine the conversations/interrogations the bats will have with trio, trying to figure out their master plan - because surely there's something more going on than three chaos young adults playing a game, right?

They trio each have a different story. And they are so passionate/convincing actors that no one knows which story is real. At least one of them told a sob story with legitimate tears.

Danny: (all mysterious) You shall never know our master plan….until it is too late. And just casually dropping hints that there is something greater or that the bats are playing right into their hands. Even using ridiculous scenarios like yesss the ketchup explosion in the cafeteria….We are one step further….Mwa ha ha! (Rubs his hands together)

Sam: (absolutely distraught with literal tears running down her face and ruining her mascara.) There is a terrible organization holding their parents hostage. They had been framed and forced to be in Arkham. If they don’t do exactly as they are told, their loved ones are in danger! Should we stay? Should we escape and help them!? No one will believe us and what if we make things worse? We don’t know what to do!

Tucker: (takes a long slurp of a smoothie. Where he got one? No one knows). Yeah we were bored and had nothing better to do than mess with you guys. (Sluuuuurp).

The bats are trying to figure it out. Is the black haired guy telling the truth and the other two are just manipulating them? Is it the girl and the others are only following the plot of the organization? IS THE BARET KID RIGHT AND THEY’RE JUST MESSING WITH US!? WHICH STORY IS IT!?

Under normal circumstances, Sam wouldn’t give a sob story because It’s not really her vibe. But Sam has the opportunity to pull one over on a bat. Do you honestly think she won’t take a chance to mess with them? Also, Dick is the one who is interrogating Sam.

He’s crying too by the end of the story.

Poor guy, Sam will play his heart like a fiddle. 

Also, their fake identities are Jordan for Danny. Mortica for Sam (or Macey for short) and Phineas for Tucker. The fact that they are using fake identities is the only thing they all agree on in the interview. But the bats find nothing on them and the identities are so realistic they wonder if they are even fake at all. If the three are faking fake IDs to throw them off their tail from looking deeper. Apparently their ‘parents’ having a missing persons report.

Damian is interrogating Danny. It’s just so easy to rile him up and get under his skin. It’s absolute drama in that interrogation room. 

Danny: ah yessss. Master plan.

Damian: you shall never succeed! Justice shall prevail evil scum!

And Duke is interrogating Tucker. He just…has no idea how to respond to this. He wasn’t trained for this response. Hostile, yes. Mysterious, yes. Scared, yes. Civilian, yes. Even Flirtatious! YES! But not…this. What does he do? should he take out his note cards?

Also, I’m adding a mix of home alone elements to this. They have to get past the bats somehow and it can’t be lethal. Poor Jason and Steph who are patrolling the halls fall victim to most of this.

At one point, both of them are tied up together and hanging from the ceiling. While the trio just casually walk by under them. 

It’s dental floss. Really strong dental floss.

Then the bats start taking sides. 

Jason? once he hears Sam's story, he's immediately willing to help her. He and Dick are searching for that missing person's report almost religiously.

Tim believes Danny's story. part of it is because it makes the most sense, and the other part is that he's slightly biased from becoming an evil megalomaniac in every timeline he's seen so he's subconsciously trying to stop that from happening here.

Cass believes Tucker because come on, it's Cass.

Steph is siding with Tim because her father was cluemaster so same reasons.

Bruce is trying to fact check all of them and is failing desperately.

Sam added some ‘clues’ in her interrogation and basically threw the GIW under the bus as the organization. So the bats do find a shady organization but so far no missing persons so the other bats still don’t know if what Sam is saying is true or not while Dick takes this as absolute proof and Jason feels like it doesn’t matter if she’s telling the truth at this point. It’s a corrupt organization. So he’ll still blow it up.

I think in this AU, the GIW isn’t a threat and more of an annoyance so Sam just plays them up as even worse. Like, she doesn’t say anything untrue just makes it sound worse out of context. Oh yeah, they opened fire on this random kid. (Gregory when they thought he was phantom) Oh yes, they have destroyed Danny’s house at one point. (The prank war with Vlad) Yes, the have an unhealthy obsession with dissecting people. (Even though they are too incompetent to actually catch anyone).

So again, they don’t know if Sam is telling the truth of the organization or they just used this random organization to draw their attention away from the three’s plans (as Danny implied). Possibly an enemy organization or a competitor.

I know everyone makes the GIW a big threat but I decided to change it up. They aren’t a threat but still get obliterated by a pissed off Red Hood and Nightwing.

And that’s  another reason why Sam gives the sob story. Danny and Tucker are great but they wouldn’t actually sick a crime lord on the GIW. Sam? Absolutely would. She does not care what happens to them. They tore up her garden one time with a stray shot. She wants revenge. And sure, she didn’t actually know what would happen to them after the bats find out but she still doesn’t care.

And through all of this, the rogues are sitting back and eating popcorn while Joker screams bloody murder from his cell. 

[sleepymaven]

Elden Ring/Dark Souls and the Sheer Lack of Fanfics. (A Slight Rant and Ramble.)

Alright, we need to talk, Elden Ring and Dark Souls Fandoms...

There are hundreds of thousands of you out there who love these games... So many, in fact, that they are both some of the most popular game franchises ever made...

So, pray tell, why is there such an atrocious lack of... fanfics!?

Come on, man! I. Want. More. Fanfiction!!

Give me a coffee shop au where Miquella takes Malenia to his favorite coffee shop and introduces her to the cute batista.

Give me a crossover ship between Messmer and Gwyndolin where they help eachother through their familial issues and trauma.

Give me a hurt/no comfort between Radagon and Rennala showing how the divorce went.

Give me an actor au where it shows the behind the scenes and/or bloopers for the character messing up or forgetting their lines.

Give me a Gwyndolin x Chosen Undead!reader with extra fluff and a side of gentle smut.

Give me Rennala x Carian Knight!reader where you help take care of her while she's in the library.

Give me a modern crossover au where Malenia is dating Gwynevere and going through the motions of being a cute, domestic couple before ending it with them being wife and wife and officially married. (I desperately want to see this one, I'm BEGGING.)

Give me a crack fic where Gwyndolin takes his snakes to the vet.

Give me a canon divergence au where you save Godwyn from being assassinated.

Give me Godwyn x Consort!reader where you and him are married.

Give me modern au Godwyn where he's a himbo who forgot his wallet at home to pay for his singular candy bar.

Give me a Godwyn x Tarnished!reader were you get to peg him. (I would also read this one, btw...)

Give me Godwyn with a breeding kink.

You know what...

Just give me any Godwyn fanfics!

Don't be shy people, make some more!

Make me some fanfiction or else I will ascend to godhood and place an eternal curse upon thee! 😡

..please? 🙏

Pretty please with a cherry on top..?

Just give me more Godwyn, please! ��

(More Gwyndolin would also be IMMENSELY appreciated.)

[iheartbookbran]

lol imagine you’re Colin Bridgerton and you’ve spent the last three weeks pinning for your best friend who’s being courted by a vegetarian so now you have to jump through hoops and loops (and some finger tricks) to get her to marry you instead.

she accepts your proposal and as you’re still riding that high reality comes crashing down all around you as you realize marrying her means Portia Featherington will be your future mother-in-law…

[mai3phy]

Snake guy single-handedly improves my marker skills

[tavvoc]

Messmer the Impaler

[zephyrins]

I wonder how much Rykard was influenced by Messmer

Just imagine Messmer said "hi" to little Rykard once and Rykard looked at him with shiny eyes and decided "I want to be you"

[flying-cat]

People don't want character redemption they want a revenge plot from a story that was never supposed to be about revenge

[mittsushi]

tried sculpting, supposed to be messmer…

[vitalitypopkat]

Wh(elp)at I am(e) is Darkness.

[skeletonfumes]

Hellsing Ultimate (2006-2012)

[messmerposting]

kicks my feet twirls my hair

[jombenz]

"my eyes are green, i eat my veggies"

descendant of apep for you all bc i love him and like to think he'd Live and be full of scars and just collect treasure happily