#Learnt a very important fire lesson today

[drunkcleric]

I trimmed the carpet for the first time

Which sounds dirty, but I literally had to sit on a fuzzy carpet and trim it, as one of the coals from the fire fell into it and I wasnt fast enough

[niharikaslernings]

Be a solid

Introduction:-

For new viewers, let me give you a quick information of what I write. So, I write blogs on what I learnt from the whole day because every day has it's unique sense and it always taught you some tiny lessons but in pressure of your goals, you forget those micro learnings. In simple words, I write blogs on everyday's learning. This particular blog is about what I learnt from today. Therefore, be with me till the end and most importantly enjoy the blog of today.

Incidence:-

Today, at evening. I came on terrace just for relaxing because it was a pleasant day. On terrace, there were many childrens playing different games. From all the childrens, two were of my landlady and rest were their friends. When, I was lost at my imagination, they locked the door of terrace. When I realised it, they all were gone downstairs. I knocked hardly on the door, I shouted, "Hey, please open the door". But no one listened. It had been 15 minutes, I was shivering out of anger. I screamed with my full potential, "Open the door or I will break the door". That's when my landlady felt that someone is stuck on the terrace. She came and said, "Wait, I am opening the door" and she opened the door. When, I saw her face, she was laughing and she said "who had locked you?". When I replied your children, she said, "they are small. They had forgotten that you were there and they had locked up". After saying this, she started laughing even more. I was bursting with fire inside myself. I said, "make them understand, or I will give smooth slap on their faces to make them understand". After listening this, she made her face. Then, I came downstairs. When I entered into my rent rooms, after looking at my face, my parents understood something must had happened. I told them, the whole incidence. I was very shocked by their reply, it was the unexpected reply that I never had expected. They were trying to make me understand that it's okay, no need to shout. Then, they started trying to find out my mistakes. They said, where you are lost, when they were locking you up? After listening this, I hadn't said anything because I was broked up. It was shocking for me that my parents are trying to find my mistake even if I hadn't done. My mother kept saying things like, "you must need to mind your language while speaking. How can you shout on her?, She is elder than you". I kept listening every words of them, it was a heartbreaking moment. But I learnt a very important learning today.

Learning:-

I analysed the whole incidence again because I was unable to interpret that what's happening?, why are my parents blaming me?

I analysed it and I found the cause.

It was their helplessness that it's not there home. They (landlord & landlady) can easily say, you can leave my house which can be insulting for my parents. So, that's the reason, why they want me to be silent. Actually, they want me to be compressible. But I am a proper solid person which can never be compressible. I am rigid, I never can change myself for anyone. I do not have my own house just because of that I can never compromise on my boldness. At last, I want to say speak less but never compromise with your self respect because the one's who are trying to compress you must needed a reply from your side because they deserve that.

[opedguy]

Russia-Made Missile Hits Poland

LOS ANGELES (OnlineColumnist.com), Nov. 16, 2022.--When a Russian-made missile strayed into Polish territory Nov. 15, it threw the U.S. and NATO for a loop, with Ukraine immediately blaming Russia.  Because NATO has Article 5, guaranteeing mutual defense from the alliance to any members state, an uproar was created at the G20 summit in Bali, Indonesia.  Heads-of-State and foreign ministers immediately blamed Russia when the facts were not yet known.  Today, there’s a better picture of where the missile came from but not before categorical denials by Ukraine.  Ukraine uses the Russian-built S-300 missile defense system where incoming missiles are targeted by the missile defense system.  Poland said it was “very likely” that a stray S-300 missile shot by Ukraine landed inside the Polish border killing two Polish citizens.  Ukraine’s 44-year-old President Volodymyr Zelensky denied that Ukraine’s had anything to do with the incident.

U.S., EU and NATO officials need to apply pressure on Kiev to go to the peace table to end the Ukraine War.  Zelensky set unrealistic conditions for ending the war, including having all Russian troops removed from Ukraine’s sovereign territory, including the Crimean Peninsula.  When it came to yesterday’s missile strike inside Poland, Kiev jumped the gun.  “Most likely, this was a unfortunate accident,” said Polish President Andrej Duda today.  Duda thinks, with the best intel available, a Ukrainian missile defense projectile strayed from its target and landed in Poland.  Calling a stray Ukrainian missile a Russian “conspiracy theory,” Ukraine’s Foreign Minister Dmytro Kuleba called the Russian denials preposterous.  “No on should buy Russian propaganda or amplify its messages,” Kuleba tweeted.  “This lesson should have been learnt since the downing of MH17,” Kuleba said.

Ukraine demanded that NATO call an emergency meeting at the G20 in Bali, including President Joe Biden, German Chancellor Olaf Scholz, French President Emmanuel Macron, Spanish Prime Minster Pedro Sanchez, British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and others to deal with looked like an escalation of the war to a NATO country.  But instead of waiting patiently until the facts were known everyone rushed to judgment.  “Russia bears responsibility for what happened in Poland yesterday, because this is a direct result of the ongoing war and wave of attack from Russia against Ukraine yesterday,” said NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg.  Stoltenberg’s been adamant that Ukraine would not fast-track on NATO membership, knowing that it would create a wider conflict, maybe WW III.  Stoltenberg doesn’t help things stating the obvious but should work feverishly toward ending the conflict.

Ukraine’s 40-year-old Foreign Minister Dmytro Kuleba shows off his prodigious ability to blow smoke, blaming everything on Russian. Kuleba is the last Ukrainian official that wants peace.  He wants to battle the Putin and the Kremlin until declaring victory over the Kremlin.  Belgium’s Defense Minister said that both “pieces Russian missiles and a Ukrainian interceptor missile” hit a farm building in the Polish town of Prxewodow.  “To be confirmed by ongoing investigations,” wrote Ludivine Dedonder tweeted.  Unlike Kuleba or others looking to escalate the war, Belgium shows the kind of judgment and common sense needed to defuse the current crisis.  If Kiev wants the Kremlin to stop firing missiles and wrecking more of Ukraine’s energy infrastructure, they need to go to the peace table for ceasefire talks.  Complaining about he consequences of war, Kiev has other options to end the conflict.

When the chances of miscalculation, mishaps or mistaken happens, it’s time to end the risky business of continued war.  Zelensky wants every inch of its territory back from Russia but in the best of all possible worlds, ending bloody and destructive conflicts are more important than grudge matches.  Revenge gets Kiev nothing other than more carnage and infrastructure destruction.  Yesterday’s Polish missile mishap should remind the EU and NATO that it’s time to close the chapter on the Ukraine War.  No matter how many billions Kiev gets from the U.S. to fund its government and the war, it can’t go on forever.  When the new Republican Congress is installed Jan. 3, 2023, Biden’s blank check for the Ukraine War will end.  No matter how much U.S. elected officials support Ukraine, the blank check can’t last forever.  Now in its ninth month, the Ukraine War does nothing other that increase Ukraine’s misery.

When the dust settles long enough to tell who’s responsible for the Nov. 15 missile strike inside Poland, it’s growing more likely it was a stray Ukrainian anti-missile projectile.  Even if the missile came from Russian territory, the close border with Poland puts citizens into harm’s way.  Duda takes the mishap in stride knowing it could be far worse if missiles start striking Polish population centers.  EU and NATO ministers should look at the mishap with the intent of ending the war at the earliest possible time.  Too much room for miscalculations could escalate the conflict to WW III or worse yet nuclear war.  Zelensky wants to keep fighting but the time for compromise and negotiating is rapidly approaching.  Maintaining the status quo in Ukraine is no longer possible.  If the incident in Poland says anything, it’s that the risks of war are too great to keep it going without going to the peace table.

About the Author  

John M. Curtis writes politically neutral commentary analyzing spin in national and global news. He’s editor of OnlineColumnist.com and author of Dodging The Bullet and Operation Charisma.

[inomios]

Beauty Behind the Madness || levi ackerman x reader (TEASER)

Summary: “You knew that under all of his layers of grief and rage there was something worth loving; he knew that under your easy smiles and sweet words there was something dark lurking. He wanted all of you and you wanted all of him.”

Genre: Fluff, Angst, this teaser is mainly angst

Author’s note: This should have been published today, but my latin teacher decided to schedule a big exam this last Wednesday, and I had to study non-stop for it, making me fall behind with my publishing plans. I have rescheduled the publication of ‘Beauty Behind the Madness’ for this Tuesday 23th. In the meantime, enjoy this little teaser.

                                                          . . .

1. REAL LIFE

He had carved on his soul, heart and mind the words that Kenny had once told him, back when he was a scared and weak kid under his wing in the Underground, back when Kenny had caught him crying in the dead of night over his mother.

‘Boy, you won’t survive a day with that attitude. Your mother was a whore and now she’s a dead whore, get over it. You don’t have time to mop over her, crying is for people who have nothing more important to worry about.’

Kenny, for better or for worse, had taught him many lessons that became the key to his survival, advices he would never forget, and this was one of them: ‘Grieving is a waste of time.’

Every second he cried over his mother was time he could have spent granting his sorrowful existence. He couldn’t let his grief control him, because missing his mother wouldn’t make him last another day, she couldn’t protect him now that she was gone. So, for better or for worse, he let his sadness and rage aside and started focusing on what was important: survival.

Grief is a tricky feeling, it makes you think you can control it, while it just keeps bottling up until it explodes, and you better be ready for when that happens, because you may not be able to fix the mess it’s going to leave behind.

Levi thought he had masqueraded his feelings pretty well, he tried to shrug everything off, as if nothing mattered to him, but it did, and Kenny knew it and he loved to tease him about it, he loved to press his buttons, Levi had learned that pretty soon in the relationship, but he was trying to handle his feelings, he wanted to prove Kenny he was worthy of his time, that he was strong, that he wasn’t weak, not anymore. So, whenever Kenny tried to get a reaction out of him, he kept his mouth shut, but he couldn’t water down the fire in his grey eyes and Kenny could see it, he always could.

‘You are as worthless as your mother, maybe I should leave you in a brothel too, then you would be useful for something.’

A loud howling laughter.

Levi’s brow twitched.

‘Did your mom have time to teach you how to read or was she too busy fucking half the Underground?’

Kenny thought he had said something hilarious. He bent over his back.

Levi had a little knife clutched in his hand. He was starting to see red.

‘You’re as worthless as your mother.’

Kenny was pushing him to his limits.

Levi had already passed them.

He liked to think that there was a dark abyss inside of him, a bottomless place where he could hide all his emotions and thoughts, they were useless, so he ignored them, kept them away, far from the surface. Levi thought that he could detach from his pain, but it was a part of him, and when you stare into the abyss for too long, the abyss stares back at you. The Levi who grieved was still there, looking at him, the Levi who felt too much but said nothing wanted to get out, so he did, he escaped from the abyss and took control.

He run towards Kenny, eyes gleaming with unshed tears, knife in his hand, aiming for his heart, but Kenny was faster, quicker on his feet, he moved just in time. However, Levi still managed to scratch his shoulder, he teared his shirt and he could see the blood running, tainting the white fabric.

Kenny got mad. Levi had never seen him that furious. He grabbed his scrawny body and gave him the beating of his life. When he ended, Levi couldn’t even move, he was lying on the floor in a puddle of his own blood.

‘Listen kid, I don’t give a fuck about your shitty problems. You think you’re special? Guess what, you are a piece of shit, just like everyone else. Everyone here has issues, solve them or do whatever you want to do with them, but don’t you ever dare to pull a stunt like that again, because I’ll will leave you to die here, boy.’

That was the second lesson Kenny had told him: ‘Control is vital.’

He thought that by ignoring his feelings was controlling them, but he was wrong, he realized that when those bottled emotions caused him to be bed ridden a few days.

Instead, he decided to let his feelings out in really calculated moments, he started to canalize all his rage into more productive stuff, like cleaning. He liked to think that by cleaning he had control over something, there was something cathartic to him in scrubbing floors, doing the laundry, and mopping floors. It was the Underground, it was filthy no matter how much effort he put into it, but it gave him something he could focus on, something he could use to let his frustrations out.

So, he cleaned, for his mother who deserved a better live.

For the innocent child that he once was, who had been stripped from everything he loved.

For Kenny, who he despised and was cruel and ruthless.

For all the things he had to do to survive.

He cleaned and cleaned, and he never had an outburst again. He was in control.

Looking back, he is sure that part of Kenny’s fury that day was because a kid made him bleed. You see, Kenny liked to think of himself as some kind of god, a ruler, someone who could control everybody, someone who was holding your fate between his calloused hands. And when he hurt Kenny, both of them realized two things: ‘Gods bleed to.’

Levi learnt his third lesson that day. No one could control him, the same way he couldn’t control anyone. You are the one who makes the decisions, just be sure to choose one you won’t regret. Kenny had no power over him, he wasn’t a god and if he was, Levi wouldn’t bow down to him.

Kenny learnt that Levi, that child, had a fire within he couldn’t tame, Levi wasn’t going to be a submissive, brainless follower. He had potential, he had willpower, he didn’t really need him, but the boy didn’t know it yet. So, when the moment came, he left. He had grown to care about his nephew, at least a little, but Levi was a survivor and Kenny knew he would fight with teeth and claws until the very end. Therefore, Kenny left him with the only person who could protect him: Levi himself.

When Kenny left him at his own, alone again in the Underground, he learnt his fourth lesson: ‘Love is a risk he wasn’t going to take again.’

  2. LOSERS

Stupid is next to ‘I love you.’ He was pretty fucking sure of that.

He made a bow to himself: he wasn’t going to love anyone ever again, people are bound to leave, and whenever they left, they took away a part of him, and he was already to broken for that. However, life happens, and it turns everything upside down, it doesn’t ask for consent, so his plan of never loving again was ruined sooner than he would’ve liked.

Furlan came first. He wasn’t looking for a companion, at all. A companion meant more people to care about, a distraction, and he didn’t need any of that. However, Furlan managed to convince him that he could be useful to him. Whenever he looks back, he thinks that both of them knew that Levi didn’t need anyone, he could survive on his own, he was tougher than anyone else in the Underground, but he was alone, so alone, and a part of him yearned so much for someone that he let Furlan come with him.  

Their relationship was weird at first, not sure where the boundaries of the other laid, what they could do or don’t. Furlan didn’t want to overstep and piss off Levi and Levi didn’t want to overshare with him, he didn’t want to show him his weaknesses, but at the same time he wanted to spend time with him. He remembers that there were moments when Levi desired to say something, talk about pointless stuff, but he never did, after Kenny he was so deprived of human contact that he even thought that he had lost his voice. However, as time passed them by, they fell into some kind of easy routine, boundaries came clearer. Furlan started to get Levi, how he would never start a conversation no matter how bad he wanted, how his mind was always plotting something, how he always had an ace upon his sleeve… Furlan grew fond on him, he knew that there was a lot Levi wasn’t telling him, but from time to time he got to see a glimpse of the man he was under his façade and layers of secrets, and he wanted to learn about him, he wanted to be his friend, he wanted to have someone to help and he wanted someone to take care of him, he wanted to stay. On the other hand, Levi liked how Furlan seemed to know when he could talk and joke around and when he had to stay silent, it was like he understood him, Furlan was prudent and chill, thinking before acting, and he knew when to fight and when to give up. Levi started to care about him, a lot, and against his better judgement, he just hoped he wouldn’t regret his choice.

Then, Isabel appeared on scene. Levi was happy enough with Furlan, he didn’t need someone else to worry about, that was more trouble, more chances to get hurt. However, he soon found he had a soft spot for the girl. She was so energetic, so bubbly, eyes always gleaming with hope, she was a ray of light in the darkest place. She was messy, reckless and wild, she balanced them out. When she asked to join them, Levi wanted to let out one of his characteristic ‘Tch’ and turn his back on her, there was no room for compassion in the Underground, but he couldn’t, he was weaker than he thought. He couldn’t leave her at her own, knowing she could get herself killed, he didn’t want to be like Kenny, he wasn’t going to be like him.

The three of them became a gang, well, not just a gang, a family too. They looked after each other, they looked after Levi, just like his mother did. They were the best criminals in the underground, and sometimes Levi felt like a god with the world at his feet. He shouldn’t have forgotten his third lesson: ‘Gods bleed too.’ He thought they were invincible, they weren’t, they were no gods, life wouldn’t bend at their will.

When Isabel and Furlan died, he didn’t even have proper bodies to bury, he just did two little makeshift graves and carved their name on the gray stone. He was the only person who would remember them, so he visits them at least once a week, mainly during his sleepless nights, when no one would ever question or notice his absence. Talking with them was the only reason why hadn’t given up a long time ago, he was their leader, he told them to always keep going, to never back down.

So, he kept going, for his mother, for Isabel and for Furlan. For the only people who ever loved him.

Maybe he didn’t really keep going, maybe he just let life pass, what mattered was that he was alive and fighting for a purpose, he owed them that, their deaths wouldn’t be in vain.

Why did he always have to lose everything?

Why there was nothing good in store for him?

He was bound to lose to lose everything.

Stupid is next to I love you.

He was so fucking foolish.

[iwriteforthetincanman]

Mandoctober Day 5: Target Practice

A/N: I managed to write something in a day that was under 2,000 words...yay?

for @leo-moon​ ‘s Mandoctober!

It was just something you had mentioned over dinner one night. You had asked him how he got a clear fix on his targets with the helmet on, he told you and you had offhandedly blurted out that you had never used a blaster before.

What you didn’t expect was for the Mandalorian to make a huge deal out of it by teaching you the very next day. 

The weight of it rested heavily in your palm as you assessed the weapon uneasily. Dread crept up your spine with it followed by the feeling that you hadn’t picked up on this skill before for a reason. It was either inadequacy or fear. 

Whatever it was, Mando picked up on it when the look on your face morphed into concern. 

Breaking you out of your reverie, his hand gently wrapped around your wrist. Sharing the weight somehow. 

“Just because I’m teaching you how to use it, doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have to.” In an attempt to reassure you, all it did was increase your awareness towards the situation. Realising how important the lesson truly was. If it meant protecting yourself and the kid, kriff, even Mando, you would do it. 

Gaining back your focus, you nodded solemnly. Tearing your gaze away from his vizor before fixing it on the targets before you. You couldn’t help stifling a giggle.

In an attempt to help with today’s lesson, the child had scrawled ‘angry’ faces on the targets with his crayons. You had almost forgotten the gift since you had purchased them so long ago now. Green ears tilted upwards, he awaited your response. 

“Very good Ad’ika. Scary.” Pointing at the targets you feinted fear, legs shaking and everything. The little one giggled up at you, pleased with his creations, he left the red crayon on the ground in his excitement. Waddling towards his buirs he made grabby hands at Mando. 

Although he had taught you the basics of Mando’a he still refused to tell you his name, which you respected along with the creed. What you couldn’t help was the feelings that crept closer into your heart whenever he was around. Sure, you kept your cool but when he was impossibly close, that was when all composure flew out the window. 

“Sorry Ad’ika but I’ve got to help buir right now.” Mando picked him up briefly only to place him into his silver pram, so he was safe and out of the way. Pouting mixed with those big eyes of his became a distraction for a short while but you had learnt to resist it. It was for the best. Making his way back over to you, you noticed how the bounty hunter was now reaching out to you. As if he was going to pick you up. 

A shiver rippled down your back at the thought. 

Instead, his steps fell behind you whereas his hands landed on your hips. Almost furiously a blush scorched across your skin, your mind producing a blank page, no words. The Mandalorian had effortlessly left you speechless. An unexpected warmth surged from his palms and up your sides, seemingly warming your soul as you tried not to combust on the spot. 

“You need to brace yourself for when you shoot so you don’t end up falling over. Think you can do that?” Hearing a teasing lilt in his voice, you made an attempt to play along. 

“I’d like to think I’ve handled worse.” Huffing nervously, you waited for some kind of response. A noise you later identified as a chuckle left the modulator, causing the warm feeling to blossom. 

“Alright tough girl. Let’s see what you’ve got. Try shooting the middle one.” Pointing to the target in question, you missed the weight of his palm. In total there were four targets, they were large tin cans used for the ‘good’ food rations, with some scratchy material shoved over them for the child’s benefit in doodling. 

Choking on your own breath at the nickname, you steadied your arm as you lined it up with the target. Feeling an intake of breath from behind, you copied the action. Hold.

Fire.

The violent red streak of energy narrowly missed the target, burning the grass just behind it. Charred grass. That’s all you had left to show. Letting out a disappointed sigh, Mando relaxed behind you. 

“Hey, it’s alright, I would’ve been really surprised if you had gotten it on the first try. This is the whole point of the lesson.” Turning to face him, regrettably tearing away from his grasp, a bitter look overtook your features. 

“Fine then. Teach me.” A softer curve replaced the one on your brow. Giving way to your reluctance and yet, you wanted-no, needed to know how to use this thing. 

All you could see was the visor but it was like you could sense what kind of expression was hidden behind it just by the way his shoulders fell. 

“Okay.”

The next few minutes consisted of him showing you how to lock on to the target accurately. That was the goal anyway, but you were standing still and in a fight the target would be moving and so would you. Especially if you were the one running away. 

As if the child sensed this from his crib, he started to levitate the cans. Giggling almost maniacally as he did so. 

“He’s getting better at that.” You chuckle at the sight. 

“Well it’s a good opportunity. Go ahead.” Nodding towards it, once again he stepped behind you. Except this time he didn’t guide you in any way. Was he that confident you were going to get it? It was almost like you did it on purpose, but you moved your feet causing your stance to falter. 

A hand shot to your waist, as if to catch you. 

You suppressed a smirk. 

“Careful Cyar’ika.” This was a new word. One he hadn’t taught you. But the way he practically purred it gave you some idea of what it meant. 

“I’m starting to think you don’t really need to be holding onto me for this Mando.” You somehow flirted back. Thoughts crystal clear as to what you wanted. He tensed at the insinuation, but with it his arms wrapped further around your torso, pulling you into an embrace of sorts. 

“Maybe...I just want to be close to you.” A sigh fluttered through your lips as you turned your face, gaze meeting his. Even if all you could see was the beskar, you caught the depth behind his words. 

You wanted to kiss him, Maker, you did. 

But what happened next kind of derailed the whole situation.

CLANG!

The kid had thrown the can at his buir’s helmet in his impatience. 

Throughout your whole ‘moment’ you had completely forgotten about the child helping with the lesson. Now he was tired and cranky. 

Mando had whipped away from you in an instant, as if threatened by the flying object. When he met the gaze of his grumpy son, you couldn’t help giggling. 

---

After that you had managed to shoot three targets. You weren’t the best but it was a start and with practice you would improve. 

Later on into the evening, the child was fast asleep with you and Mando quietly loading everything back into the Crest. No words had been shared between the two of you for a while now, but the warmth from before was still present. 

Glancing over to the beskar-clad warrior, you noticed the smallest of dents in his helmet. Somehow Ad’ika had thrown it hard enough to leave a mark on his father’s ‘head’. It distracted you enough from your work to finally make your way over to him. 

Skimming your fingers over the mark, the helmet gently turned under your touch. Rising to your height, your hand fell to his shoulder. The quiet tension was still there, just waiting to be broken...or something else. 

“It’ll buff out with time.” It’s meant as a reassurance but the way you say it carries across a different meaning. 

“I’m sure it will.” He mumbles back, before his hands make their way back to your waist. This time pulling you in to the point where you’re chest to chest. Melting into his grasp, your arms wrap around his shoulders. This was some kind of hug, yet it felt like dancing even if the both of you were perfectly still. 

The feeling grew molten when the brow of his helmet fell to rest against yours. 

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything Cyar’ika.”

[spidernerdsblog]

Love Is The Biggest Spell : Chapter Five

A/N : Chapter five is here. This chapter should have been posted on Halloween lol but never mind. Hope you like this chapter. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Warlock Tom Holland x half mortal reader

Summary : Witches are forbidden to fall in love with mortals. But what if your long lost love returns to you as a mortal, can you defy your heart? Any spell any magic seems useless in front of the magic of love. Let’s join our lovers in their magical conquest beyond life and death as they fight for their love unravelling dark mysteries of the past along their way.

Warnings : mild language, witchy stuff.

Mini Playlist : Can't help falling in love with you

After you had your breakfast Tom drove you to college. You were walking to your classroom. 

"Y/N!" You heard the voice you despise the most right now call out to you. You didn't look back and quickened your pace. 

"Y/N, Y/N, Y/N hey wait please." Cole ran to you grasping your wrist. 

"Leave my hand, Cole!" You yanked your hand away from him. 

"Y/N just listen to me for once I can explain." he pleaded. 

"What more do you have to explain, Cole? That you were making out with me but magically it turned out to be someone else."

"Yeah exactly." 

"Cole can you just stop now. I'm not going to judge your life choices but I hope you enjoyed sucking her mouth." 

"Y/N please you can't do this to me."

"Umm mate I think Y/N made it quite clear that she doesn't want to talk to you." Tom intervened. 

"Listen dude let's just not pretend that this isn't the best day of your life. So please stay out of this"

"Cole! You can’t talk to him like that.” 

"A guy showed you a little affection for one night and now he is the good guy. So typical of you Y/N." you were literally hurt by his words.

"You know what Cole? I was actually thinking of forgiving your not so sorry ass but now I'm so over that thought, we are done for good Cole!"

"C'mon Tom let's go." You stormed off dragging Tom with you by his wrist to the library. 

You slumped down on the seat as Tom took the opposite seat to you 

"I can't believe Cole would say that! I'm an attention seeker? Seriously?!" You seethed. 

"How did you guys even fall in love?" Tom asked out of courtesy though he had no interest in knowing that. 

"You know childhood best friends it was like we owed to date each other." you shrugged.

"Maybe we can do something to divert your attention?" 

"And what is that?" 

"Finish our assignment I guess that's still pending." 

"Seriously?" you gave a disinterested look. 

"What? That is much better than talking about your douchebag boyfriend, ex boyfriend" 

"Yeah maybe some witchy stuff can help keep me distracted." you walked to the shelves and pulled out some books and placed them on the desk with a loud thud. You picked up a book and were turning over some pages in a book and stumbled upon something as you frowned. 

"What’s Dark Baptism?" 

"Huh oh it's a sort of ceremony. The Dark Baptism is the most sacred, unholy sacrament the witches practiced for centuries. The oldest of their rites. A novice witch signs his or her name in the Book of the Beast, and gives the Dark Lord dominion over their soul and in exchange he gives them unlimited power and eternal youth." Tom explained. 

"Huh what’s the use of such powers if I have to give up my freedom of will?" you scoffed. 

"It’s the only one of several possible interpretations, see like all religions have symbolic gestures and demand sacrifices right?" 

"Signing the Book of the Beast is more like a pledge to abide by the devil's commandments." 

"But the Dark Lord aka Satan is the embodiment of evil." You state. Tom corrects you immediately. 

"As per texts he is the embodiment of free will and that he goes beyond the mere concepts of good and evil and the infernal punishment of the "False God"."

"So what about Hell?" you ask.

"If you accept the Dark Lord's gifts, then you won't die for a long time and Hell is for mortals. In exchange for their service and devotion, witches are exempt from the eternal flames of damnation." Tom explains. 

"That's some crazy ass bullshit." You laugh it off. 

"But you seem to have quite in-depth knowledge about these things. Do you happen to practice witchcraft in secret?" you narrowed your eyes. 

"Maybe, who knows" he shrugs." Why are you so invested in knowing all this?" he counter questioned you. 

"Nothing just general curiosity that's it." You shrug. 

"General curiosity or is it about the visions or nightmares whatever you have." Tom smirked.

"Who-who told you.." You stutter. 

"Jane told Harrison and he told me."

"Those are just some stupid dreams that's all."

"Or may be not, maybe you are a psychic or a witch "

“Ha ha very funny.”

"Okay leave all that." Tom cleared his throat. 

"Hey I know it would be really inappropriate for me to ask you. You know you can totally say no."

''Hey it's okay we are friends now c'mon spill it out." you held his hand reassuringly.

"Umm my mother seems to have liked you a lot the day you stopped by our house and wants me to invite you to our Halloween party. It's kind of a spooky themed business gala. "

"Your mother likes me or you?" you narrowed your eyes with a sly smirk.

"No I swear my mom told me to invite you." Tom flustered.

"Okay then tell your mom that I would love to go."

"Oh thanks." Tom’s eyes lit up like a child.

"And by the way if you want me to be your date just ask." You winked. 

"It's - it's nothing like that." he stuttered. 

"Relax anyways I'm single now." you giggled.

"So what are you divs doing?" Harrison dropped in between your conversation.

"Nothing just getting ready for my dark baptism." You chuckled though Harrison gave a mortified look as he exchanged glances with Tom. Who shook his head dismissively to let him know he hasn't said anything. 

“Uh okay..have you seen Jane anywhere?" 

"Why do you also need some attention?" You joked lazily placing a hand on Harrison's shoulder and instantly backed off with a light gasp. 

"You okay?" Harrison asked looking at your horrified expression.

"Yeah, yeah I'm-I’m  fine." you stammered blinking your eyes.

"I'll go and find Jane." You walked away huskily. 

…….........

Agatha and Zendaya visited a farm to purchase a black goat to be used for sacrifice during your dark baptism in the woods. 

"What is on your mind mother? A few days ago you wanted that half breed dead but now you are here arranging for her dark baptism. I don't understand any of this."

"Well you three failed in your task and I'm grateful to Satan for that this time because I recently found out she is the key to perform the spell by which our coven will gain infinite powers."

"What spell?"

"For now you don't need to know more than this. Just remember that girl needs to be protected."

…………..

It's 31st of October and you are officially 25. You were at the cafe as Jane came in all bubbly and chirpy.

“Happy Birthday babe!!!” Jane exclaimed, giving you a tight hug.

“Thank you babe.” Tom and Harrison dropped in after sometime.

“Isn’t it your birthday day? Why the hell are you working today?”. 

“Because it’s my birthday.”

"Well somebody has got the whole concept of birthday wrong." tom quipped.

“Here we brought something for you.” He placed a cake box on the table.

“Jane dear can you arrange this for us please.” Harrison asked her sweetly.

“Of Course will.”

“Seriously guys you didn’t have to do this.” Jane was quick to arrange the cake on a tray with some candles and placed it in front of you. You blow out the candles as they sing for you.

“Thank you so much guys.” your heart swelled in happiness.

“We would have loved to stay but we have another party to arrange so see you girls in the evening.” Harrison said.

“I'll pick you up at seven.” Tom informed you softly.

“Will be waiting.” You smiled. After they left you turned to Jane. 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Yeah what?" 

"What do you know about Harrison? Apart from he's a sex God. His family and life." you snickered.

"Umm they are rich, business partners with the Hollands. Loves his mom and sister a lot. Why?" 

"Nothing, you are my best friend just don't want you to fall for the wrong guy. I finally learnt my lesson. Heh." You chuckled slowly. 

“Don’t worry babe if he does something bad I’ll give you the privilege of kicking his ass.” She laughed and went to the back of the shop. 

Now how will you tell her that when you touched him you had one of your stupid visions. You saw blood, pentacles, human skulls, it felt so inauspicious the darkness engulfing you. Your eyes went to the blown out birthday candles and you suddenly remembered about the night where the candle caught fire on it’s own. Then you recalled Tom saying that you may be psychic and you suddenly got the idea of testing the fact.

"This is all a hoax, I'm not psychic nor a witch. I was drunk and was seeing things." you said to yourself and took a deep breath.

"Well here goes to nothing." You focused on them but nothing happened. 

"Huh, definitely a hoax" you blew out your cheeks and turned to do your work. But when you turned around again to your surprise each and every candle was lit up magically. You exhaled deeply, frowning.

……………

Reaching home you went to your room and saw a big gift box kept on your bed. You took the lid off the box to find an expensive black dress with a note. 

Happy Birthday Y/N. Will be really happy if you wear this tonight.  Love T. H

You smiled and held out the dress in front of you admiring it in the full length mirror in your room, it was the most exquisite thing you have ever seen. The soft silky fabric with intricate lace work was literal work of art. You changed into the dress and decided to let your hair down for tonight with minimal jewelry and makeup. 

Meanwhile Tom and Harrison were getting ready in their finest tux for the gala and your baptism. 

"You really gifted her the wedding dress." 

"Well it's an important night for her she will be turning into a complete witch and hopefully her memories will come back after that." Tom said, fixing his cufflinks. 

"You ready son?" Nikki walked into his room. 

"Yes mother." Nikki could see in his eyes that something was bothering him. 

"Don't worry I talked to your father and I will be presenting your dear Y/N for her baptism." Tom's eyes lit up hearing the news. It's usually the mother who presents her child for the baptism but your mother will not be able to attend it so the whole thing of who will be presenting you was bugging him for a while. And hearing that his mother is going to do that relieved him. 

"Really mother! Thank you so much." 

"I’m really happy that you’re finally going to be happy in your life son." 

Tom was there to pick you up sharp at 7. You stepped out of your house as you saw him waiting for you leaning against his car. He couldn't take his eyes off you. You literally looked like an angel he thought.

"You look gorgeous, love."

"Thank you, you look surprisingly dapper too." 

"Thank you." 

"But you didn't have to buy me such an expensive dress. The whole night now I will be so self conscious of not ruining the dress."

"I will buy you a new one don't worry."

"Ha ha not happening again. Now let’s go"

He opened the door of the car for you as you sat inside the car. You reached his place in an hour and stepped out of the car holding his hand as he led you inside. 

You walked into the ballroom and your breath was caught at the grandeur. You’d never been in a space that made you feel so small–or so plain. Crystal chandeliers spiraled down from the arching sky-blue ceiling, illuminating the glimmering golden walls and a floor so polished it looked like an iced-over lake. And it wasn’t just the ballroom–the women sparkled like a box of jewels, shades of emerald and ruby and amethyst swirling before you, their low chatter accompanying wafts of rose and hyacinth and jasmine.

"Whoa dude am I supposed to be a part of this gala? I mean just look at all the people around." you gave out a nervous laugh.

"You were always supposed to be here Y/N."

You are immediately greeted by Jane and Harrison.

“Hey you made it!” Jane hugged you and your dress caught her eyes.

“Damn girl now that’s a one of a kind ball gown.” She giggled as you blushed.

“Only for the one of a kind girl.” Tom snickered.

You, Tom, Harrison and Jane then hit the dance floor, slow music playing.

Wise men say Only fools rush in But I can't help falling in love with you

You clasped on to his hand placing another hand on his shoulder blade as he did the same. You began moving back and forth waltzing around the ballroom. Spinning and circles and shuffling your feet to the slow, rhythmic music. It was paradise, but even more so when your eyes met.

Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you

His eyes were chocolate brown, which made your knees buckle and your lips quiver. He narrowed his eyes slightly and let out a small chuckle. Your dress was getting in the way and your heels were making you clumsy or you were actually clumsy around him. He noticed your discomfort and changed his stance making it easier for you to follow. His grip tightened on your hand giving it a comforting squeeze making your heart skip a beat.

Like a river flows Surely to the sea Darling, so it goes

You swayed to the music, bodies so close, his hand still grasping yours. This was perfect as if time stood still, your gaze filled with burning desires as he looked down to your slightly parted lips. Tom was trying to get a read on you as you looked at you longingly. You could feel your cheeks burning and you knew you're blushing on the outside which only made his smile grow wider.

Some things are meant to be So take my hand Take my whole life, too For I can't help falling in love with you For I can't help falling in love with you

He dropped your hand but before you could frown he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled your body even more closer. His kind, smiling face met yours as you felt his sweet, warm breath fanning your face. Your breath hitched all that brooding, pining and longing stares just for this magical moment. Out of instinct you tilted your face a little, closing your eyes. But instead Tom knelt down to your ear  and whispered.

“Parere mandatis meis.” You opened your eyes with a vacant gaze as if someone robbed you of your emotions and reasoning. You stood there like a living statue. 

"Y/N now listen to me carefully you are going to do whatever I say okay?" 

"Yes." You nodded in a mechanical fashion. Agatha walked towards you.

"Is she ready?" 

"Yes Lady Layman”

"Good then bring her to the altar." 

“Was the hypnosis necessary?”

“You got a better idea to make your non believer half witch willingly go through her baptism?” Agatha quipped.

“No” He answered lowly.

“Then bring her outside fast midnight is approaching, the blood moon will appear soon.” She ordered.

The party moves outside, where the moon is at its fullest and begins to turn red. With midnight approaching, everyone rushes off into the woods. Tom took you to a gate burning with blue flames, you pass through the blue flames unharmed and arrive at your baptism, where the Holland's, Osterfield's, Layman's, and many other important delegates are in attendance. 

"All this grandeur for a half breed's baptism, how pathetic is that?" Zendaya quipped, rolling her eyes. 

The priest assigned for your baptism arrived at the altar.

"Welcome daughter of Night" 

"Who presents this girl for unholy baptism?" He reckons.

"I do." Nikki states. 

"We are gathered here in these woods in the presence of our dark lord, with all the souls, the living and the dead, of our coven

the most unholy church of dark." He addresses. 

"Kneel child." You kneel in front of him in your trance. 

The priest smears blood over your forehead and read you your rights and demands your loyalty.

"There is no law beyond. Do what thou wilt." He states. 

"Our dark lord asks - 

" Would you like to be happy child, to be free?" 

"Free to love and to hate? To be what nature meant you to be, true to her laws and yourself only?" you stay numb Tom takes the initiation. 

"Say yes Y/N." 

"Yes, father." You say as you were told. 

"Do you believe in Lucifer, the archangel, who preferred the loss of Heaven to that of his pride?" 

"Yes, father." 

"In exchange for this belief, you shall be granted powers that will enable you to be of service to the dark lord." 

"Y/N Warren are you willing to forsake the path  of light and follow the path of night wherever it may lead you?" 

"I am" 

"And are you willing to place our dark lord above all others in your life, be it your loved ones, friends, family." you pause for a moment but under the hypnosis spell even if you wanted to but you couldn't make your own decisions. 

"I ...am" 

"Then it's time to sign his book." The weather started to deteriorate as strong winds started to blow and thunder rumbling at a distance could be heard. 

Meanwhile at your home your mother was turning restless with the sudden change in the weather she ran to your Aunt Rose's room. 

"Rose what's happening?"

"It's about time Martha." Rose says coldly. 

"What do you mean? Where is Y/N?" Martha panicked. 

"Don't worry she will be fine but for some people this is the beginning of their end"

"Mom what's happening?" Erica came running too. 

"Oh Erica you are here can you fetch me the ancestral calcified bowl." Erica did as she was told. 

"Martha give me the ashes of Amber." She handed over a bottle of ash as Rose poured it in the bowl. She lit the candles around the bowl with her magic and chanted. 

"Here and now 

I evoke the elemental force of Fire

the flames of creativity and passion

dancing source of heat, light and life. 

I seek the flowing forge within

I call you forth to burn away

All that impedes my highest vision

And to enact change in the world

Lightning and hearth

Hearth and forge

Fire, I call thee hence" 

Rose focused on the ashes in the bowl as flames erupted in it. 

"Y/N wake up, recognize your true self" 

“Phasmatos Incendia Ignis absumet Ignarious. Ignarious! Ignarious Ignalusa”

Meanwhile you were standing at the altar and an ancient book was kept open on the flat stone in front of you. The priest took a knife and made an incision on your hand as a drop of blood flowed down from the cut on the page. Tom was behind you as the priest signalled him to proceed; he took your hand with the pen to sign your name in the book. Just when you were about to sign the Dark Lord’s Book of the Beast with your blood, Rose's invocation ritual broke the hypnosis spell on you and you were snapped out of your trance. The fog that clouded your mind got lifted as you felt light headed. It took awhile for you to process what was happening around you. 

"You swear to obey without any question any order you may receive from tHe dark lord, or from any figure He placed in authority over you." 

"In signing you swear to give your mind, body, and soul unreservedly to the furtherance of the designs of our lord satan." The priest went on.

"No!!" You yanked your hand away from Tom's grasp. 

"What do you mean no child?" the priest frowned. 

"Who are you? Where the hell am I?!" You looked around in confusion. 

"Tom what's going on? Where's Jane?!" you look at him with panic stricken eyes. 

"Y/N,love, listen to me this is for your own good just complete the ritual" 

"Is this some kind of Halloween prank because it's not funny."

"You think you are sick with some neural disease that is why you can't feel warmth. Y/N don't you understand that you are not human." Tom tried to make you understand.

“Tom why are you so up to prove that I’m some sort of psychic?”

''You are a smart girl Y/N don't tell me the visions you get doesn't seem real? That you didn't light up a candle just by focusing your mind on it." agatha quipped.

"You are a half witch Y/N magic runs in your blood and to reach your full potential you have to submit to our Dark Lord" 

"Whatever I maybe there is another path for me. A third way. And even if there isn't, my name is Y/N Warren, and I will not sign it away!" you stated. 

"If you don't complete the ritual then you have to face the wrath of the dark lord." Agatha warned. 

"The only thing I'm gonna do is to get away from you jackass people."

The coven tries to stop you from escaping as everyone chanted in unison. 

“Crescere arbor” 

While you attempt to escape you become entangled in magical possessed vines which held you to your place.

"Why can't I move?" you struggled to free yourself. 

"You're not leaving unless and until you complete the ritual."

Suddenly the stone of your antique necklace starts glowing, emitting a reddish orange aura which just grew in intensity as time passed blinding your eyes. A sudden rage started to grow inside trying to burst out. 

Your body was shaking imminently as the blazing inferno coursing inside you was becoming too much for your body to handle. You forced your eyes open and a chill ran down the spines of everyone present for the ceremony. You irises appeared like burning coals of fire. 

They flashed with anger, a burning animosity growing in your amber orbs. Tom couldn't recognize you anymore you appeared to be a totally different person. 

Flares started erupting from your hands soon turning into flames ready to engulf anyone that came in your way. The flames spread to the magical vines holding you as they were burned into ashes setting you free. You gasped as you looked at your hands on fire. 

"What's happening?! What did you guys do to me?!" You panicked. 

"Y/N, love calm down. Just try to control it"

"I can't!!'' You growled 

"I can help, just let me help you Y/N" 

"No! Don't come near me." You warned with a hoarse voice. A ring of fire formed around you.

"Tom do something or she will burn down the whole forest." Harrison said in panic. 

''You've nothing to fear no one will do you any harm."

"Just calm down and everything will be fine. Close your eyes and focus, love"

You closed your eyes taking in measured breaths trying to calm yourself. It worked as the raging inside you dissipated. Your hands were no more on fire. 

"Suctus Incendia" everyone chanted in unison and the fire died down. 

You on the other hand felt weak and drained out as you collapsed on the ground unconscious. 

…………………………………………………………………..

Taglist: to be added or removed send a message or ask.

@sleepybesson @sophs-library @spideyreidstheroom @itstaskeen @milli86 @biebsmylife95 @quaksonhehe @hannahholland1811 @awhollandx @joyleenl  @greatpizzascissorstaco @tomhollandsotherpinkytoe @jjandreidsgirl @brighterthanthesunx @adevilallthetime @panicattheeverywherekid @onewithnomightypowers @itsnotmeh24  @bitchinwpei @astridcommings @hollandprkr  @hollandsobrien @timotayswriter @kiki-hines @casualprincess77 @spideyth @perspectiveparker @thevelvetseries @tempo-rary-fix @onebigolemess  @itsbqueenthings @chingonaconcha @yoongi-holland @l0lmk @itsemohours @fanficscuziranout  @allthisfortommy   @starcoadrienette2  @hollanddolanfangirl​ @drie-the-derp​ @pvnkfangirl​

[junhaoshua]

my ode to fandom

2020, the start of a new decade, is ending. 2021, the start of my adulthood, is beginning. I’ve always wanted to do a post about my fandom journey, and I’ve also decided to change my url starting next year: from the old faithful @moonlightmasquerade to a url for my new fandom, @junhaoshua. So before taking such a huge step, this felt like a perfect time to thank all the media that has shaped me as a person throughout my journey of youth.

This is half-chronological, half-remembered. This isn't comprehensive, because it doesn't have to be to be meaningful. It can't list every single fandom that has made its mark on me, because there are too many to count. 

This is about many people’s stories, including my own. This is about love and power and growing up and changing. This is about how transformative work can transform lives. 

To fandom: this is my ode to you.

To Frozen, the fandom that was my first love: thank you for being the place I discovered fanfic. Thank you for teaching me that it was okay to be myself. For teaching me that my parents could make mistakes when raising me even though they love me. For showing me that villains can be redeemed. 

To MLP, the fandom of my early teens and beyond: thank you for being such a big part of my life. Fallout Equestria, making me realise the impact of war and giving me hope that people can heal from the worst, that we can make a difference in the darkness. The Immortal Game, telling me that trauma can be overcome and my fate is in my hands. Hard Reset, teaching me to persevere despite the odds. Turnabout Storm, introducing me to the franchise that would inspire my future career. Freeport Venture, guiding me as I grew into my own person. These are lessons that kept me going throughout the rough years. Thank you for teaching me to write magic systems and epic fight scenes. Thank you for giving me hope that one day, even a shy bookworm like me would find my friends. 

To Wicked, the fandom of my tumultuous years: thank you for teaching me that I could be beautiful and loved no matter how I look. For opening my eyes to the cowardice of people. For helping me to understand why injustice can thrive. For telling me that sometimes you lose your best friend but you don't stop loving them. Thank you for preparing me to face all this in real life. 

To Star Wars, the fandom I was “born” into: thank you for creating a world that inspires writers. For the trilogies and the beautiful fics that were born from them. For the flaws in canon that made fans want to fix them, and write wonderful stories. Double Agent Vader and the questions of agency and power and justice and the need for righteous indignation. Reylo fics and redemption and atonement and forgiveness. The sequel trilogy stories, too many to count, about finding your family and being your own person and healing from trauma.

To Marvel, the fandom that has brought me comfort for years: thank you for starting a franchise that lasted me throughout my childhood. For the stories of X-Men and being ostracised for being born different. For the ideas of Avengers Tower and the Defenders and Spider-verses and other teams, which may not have been well handled in canon, but which inspired so many stories about dangerous people coming together and being accepted for who they are. For Daredevil and making me decide that yes I’m going to be a lawyer and no my disability will not stop me. 

To DC, the fandom I grew up in: thank you for the DCAU that I spent hours watching as a child. Thank you for inspiring so many amazing, creative people to write. Batfamily fics and the stories of well-meaning Dad Bruce who screws up despite his best efforts. Babs Gordon and being a total badass from her wheelchair. bricklaying and its discussion of power and class issues and trauma and identity, a story that I go back to time and time again. 

To Hamilton, the fandom that inspired me: thank you for introducing me to the wonderful genre of rap and hip-hop. For helping me to realise that there are villains, there are people who make mistakes, and there are people who exploit others’ mistakes. For awakening a fire and ambition in me that I had long tried to douse to try to fit in and be more likable, and telling me it was okay to be young scrappy and hungry. And for reminding me that the people I love are important, too.

And now, to the grand prizes, to the fandoms that have been the biggest part of my life.

To Harry Potter, the fandom I first participated in: thank you for opening my mind and broadening my horizons. For helping me to move past my conservative upbringing and my prejudices (the thanks is all to the fandom, not to canon). For helping me to find my first fandom family, my best friends @reapersbarge and @a-symphony-in-vellichor. For being full of stories about healing just when I needed it. For Dramione, a ship that would lead to me publishing my very first fanfiction, inspired by the wonderful @colubrina. For Drarry and my second fic that gave me the chance to tell a story with my best friend and the other half of my brain. Without HP, without these friends, I would never have found the courage or inspiration to finally finish and publish my stories.

To Six of Crows, the fandom I grew in: thank you for being my first experience with representation in stories. For opening my eyes to the world of YA novels and so many wonderful, amazing stories. (SoC was literally one of the first YA novels I ever read and I wouldn’t have gotten into bookblr without it). For helping me learn how to work with an ensemble cast of characters that all got a chance to shine. For inspiring me to come back from my long writing hiatus and rediscover the joy of being an author. 

To Taylor Swift and Marina, my two favourite solo artists: thank you for music that perfectly fits whatever I’m going through. Thank you for reputation and Electra Heart when I was hurt and angry and trying to build a shield to hide my scars. Thank you for Lover and Froot when I was trying to learn to be happy again, to conceal my hurt with a smile. Thank you for folklore and evermore and Love + Fear when I was finally ready to unbandage my scars and confront everything that I had faced and declare that it did not break me.

To Seventeen, my biggest current fandom: thank you for bringing me joy during this tough year. For always giving me something to look forward to every Monday when the days passed in a blur. For the new friends I’ve met here who welcomed me to caratblr, especially @soonhoonsol, @thekidultlife, @haosvteen, @myunqho, @xuseokgyu and @haoranghae. For reminding me what it feels like to fall deeply into a new fandom for the first time. For the amazing fics and gifs that always bless my dash (there may be another, separate post on that). For awakening my desire to write fic again after a long drought where I couldn’t think of a single thing, and giving me more plot bunnies than I know what to do with. Thank you for being a safe space that helped me to grow and heal and smile again.

To conclude this story:

Throughout my journey, I’ve seen the same threads and themes over and over again. To be my own person and not the person that others moulded me into. To be ambitious and hungry and the hero of my own story. To find my own family, to choose the people I claim as my own. To see injustice and apathy and evil and hopelessness, and to be angry and stand up against it. To believe that people can change, can atone for what they’ve done, can be redeemed. To believe in the power of hope and light against the darkness. 

Fandom is a part of my life that I truly can’t imagine being without. It has been the lifebuoy when I was stuck in trauma and unable to escape. The bandage when I was broken and bleeding and despondent. The glue to put me back together when I shattered into a million sharp-edged pieces. The armor when all I wanted to do was rip out my feelings and put up stone walls around myself. The candle that guided me through the night until I was ready to step into the daylight. 

For the fandoms of my past: I may have become less active, less involved, but I still return to the songs and stories that have been an integral part of my youth. I see them now with older, wiser eyes, and recognise bits and pieces of my personality that I absorbed from them. I’ve never truly left a fandom; how can you leave something when it’s part of you?

For the fandoms of my present: I want to live in the moment and enjoy my experiences for as long as I can, even if I’ll outgrow them one day. I know that even if I move on from them one day, I’ll always treasure the lessons learnt and the memories made, and they’ll have a special place in my heart no matter what.

I believe in the power of stories, of movies, of music, of fandom. I would not be who I am today without it. Every fandom I’ve been in has left an impression on who I am, made its mark on me, a golden tattoo. I can look at them and trace the way each and every one has shaped me into the person I am today. 

And as I hover in the in-between of childhood and adulthood, as I stand now a kidult, I’ll embark on this new phase of life with all the lessons that fandom has taught me, and will continue to teach me for many years to come.

[rebeccalartfoundation]

Printmaking 3 - Creating hardground etching plates

Today’s class started off with a tutorial with Brian.

Feedback sheet from tutorial.

We discussed what my project was about and found it very useful having to relay my concept and see if it was coherent. I received positive feedback regarding my concept but need to make it clear how my final pieces will be presented in the exhibition space. I will need to draw some sketches of the space to help visualise and work out ideas of how I want things to be presented.

Creating plates

‘Any acid-resistant coating used to make an etching is called a ground. In the past a great variety of different grounds were used, and each master had a personal formula. Most of them had wax as a basis, combined with various oils and varnishes’. - Encyclopaedia Britannica. 2021.

Lyman Byxbe, Weed Lace, 1933. Etching.

I had wanted to try etching with hardground after being inspired by Alice’s beautiful hardground plates. The plates I believe were made from Zinc and were polished with varnish before placing the hardground.

Brian showed us two methods for hard grounding:

First method

- Graphic chemical liquid is brushed onto the plate and left to dry. It dries quite quickly and is the most straightforward process.

Second method

Video of melting wax for hardground

-The more fun method! The plate is warmed on a hot plate and paraffin wax is melted on the surface. Once dried, the plate is lit by flames and reacts with the fire, creating a shiny surface ready for etching. I wanted to be through and went over some spots but learnt it is not advised to do that as it can make the plate sooty. After the plate has been fixed, it is wiped down to remove soot and ready for etching.

Video of fixing the hardground

Brian had suggested to do softground to create softer pencil like lines like my drawing of hand in my sketchbook, but the ground would be too soft to take home. Due to time restraints I went with hardground, which will produce sharper lines but feel it would still be effective and interested to see how it will turn out.

Preparing design

Michael Landy, from Nourishment series. 2002. Etching on paper. 

Ideas for second hand plate, drawing inspiration from my textile performance 2 and Henry Moore’s lithographs.  I was also drew inspiration from Michael Landy’s depictions of weeds from the Nourishment series, researched from Unit 2.

Sketches for original plan of featuring both plants for larger plates

Final plate designs

Once the grounds were set, I began designing the plates. The plate of the hand with chamomile, lavender and St John’s Wort was designed during the studio practice session but I was more stumped on the design for the other plate. I wanted it to be a pair and feature a hand again, so drew hands in different positions using myself as a reference. I had originally planned to feature plants again but from my tutorial with Brian he recommended a contrast in design. This led to the idea of drawing pills to represent the medication and the contrast of using pharmaceuticals to natural remedies. I decided to go for an open hand with pills for contrast against the closed hand. This contrast can be viewed in different ways by the spectator. Is it a sense of freedom? Or reliance? I created marks and the sketchy line work using a mixture of thin and bolder lines with the drypoint tool.

Test Plates

Before putting my hand plates in the acid bath, I had two tester plates to see what effect I would wanted from the acid bath. I had created a bird design, inspired by Tracey Emin’s bird prints and my own trace monotype of a bird from our first term of printmaking. The second design of the eye was to explore how solid areas of etching would print, as well as stippling. The goal was to explore different types of mark making and how they would develop in the bath.

Process with Acid Bath

*Health and safety* Given tutorial by Brian and what to do if acid gets in eye. Eye wash for 15 mins, alert tutor then taking to hospital. If get on skin, mild sting but can be washed off. Have to wear gloves and googles in room with acid. Rinse plates and gloves thoroughly with water after taking plates out of the acid bath.

Once the design has been etched, it has to be placed in an acid bath for the lines to be engraved into the plate. The acid bath has a mix of nitric acid with water with the ratio 7:12. I had placed the some the smaller test plates in first and let it develop for 5 minutes before rinsing off with water. After rinsing, I added finer lines and placed them back in the bath for about a minute to produce finer lines. It was important to time how long the plates were in the bath due to ‘biting’ where lines would become bolder and merge together due to the acid eating away.

Happy with the results, I then moved to placing the bigger plates and left them in for 8 minutes to develop. After taking them out, I added finer lines of the threads and placed it in for a minute to produce a variety of line weights. The plates are then rinsed off thoroughly with water. 

Once happy with the plates, I went downstairs to clean the varnish off with methanol.

Plates after hardground/varnish is off.

* Health and safety * Had to be done in a fume cupboard due to toxic fumes.

Test Prints

It was coming towards the end of class so I had to print quickly. I used an oil based etching ink however it was very stiff so had to dilute with oil to loosen. Next I buffered away the ink with scrim but not too much so the lines still held ink. The test and bigger plates came out very well and happy with that the lines and marks through.

Reflection

What went well- Overall I am extremely happy with how the plates and test prints came out. I had achieved my goal of creating cohesive plates that were relevant to my concept regarding mental health and plants and also exploring markmaking through print. The prints shows the desired line weights I was after and has clarity. I had not done hardground etching before and it was great to learn the process behind it.

What didn’t go well/problem solving- Time management. The prep time takes a long time, longer than expected. But I am happy that I made the decision creating my plates to how I wanted it instead of rushing. I didn’t want to comprise the design. Unfortunately this only left me a very short amount of the time to do the test print once but I am happy with the results. I had wanted to print the larger plates side by side but didn’t have a larger piece of paper prepped. One of the prints is slightly cut off due to paper size but made the decision to do that so I could see how both plates printed in that session.

What would I improve on/do differently- I feel I could’ve been more loose with the etching and explore more vigorous marks but I was tentative. I was also worried if that would’ve made it less clear. However I’m still very happy with the design and the sketch look I was going for.

Next steps

Last printing session next week. My aims are:

-Relief print with lino stencil to pair with face fabric print

-Hardground etching prints- Prints of hands. Including ghost prints to make set of two or three on paper.

-Medication packets- transfer dye using heat press at start of lesson

A lot to do and requires planning. I have liaised with the textiles department to use their heat press machine at 9.30 am. I have estimated it will take about an hour but shouldn’t take as long and hopefully not miss too much the start of print making (which starts at 10). I aim to print my hardground etching plates first and then focus on the relief print on fabric.

Bibliography

Encyclopedia Britannica. 2021. Printmaking - Etching | Britannica. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.britannica.com/art/printmaking/Etching#ref397199. [Accessed 07 June 2021].

[failure-friendly]

How to Stop Burnout - the unexpected solution (It’s not more ‘self-care’)

I was burning out every second week, sleeping the weekends away, burdened by the guilt of letting people down when I couldn’t keep my commitments, and I was pissed off that I had zero energy for me. 

‘Enough!’ I finally snapped. With a mission to become more productive, consistent and in control - I began researching burnout. I was going to hack my way out of the vicious cycle that was stealing my confidence. 

Boundaries (saying ‘no’ to others) and self care (saying ‘yes’ to yourself). That was what the internet told me to do. I found that attempting to hold boundaries and maintain rigorous self care routines without first dealing with why you’re people pleasing yourself to death - is a recipe for even more burnout! Next.

Inconsistent vs Cyclical, that was my big discovery and the quick fix I wanted. My research led me to what every female used to be taught at the initiated of their first period. This is what I learnt: 

The moon has a 28 day cycle in which it changes from full, to half, into total blackness, and then to half again. Females also have a 28 day cycle. This is not an insignificant coincidence. Men’s hormone levels (where they get their energy) rise high in the morning and fade into the evening - just like the sun. Meaning everyday they have the same amount of energy, they’re designed to smash out workouts or work earlier in the day and switch off into the evening.

Women’s hormone levels are very different, they rise and fall according to where they are in their 28 day cycle. We need different hormones to menstruate and a very different hormone cocktail to ovulate. Like the moon, sometimes we’re full of energy and other times our light fades. We are designed to be reflective and still in the week that we bleed, then a powerhouse of energy the week we ovulate, an abundant nurturer the week after we ovulate and then more reclusive or nurtured in a premenstrual week. 

If you compare a woman's energy to a man’s it seems very inconsistent, changing rapidly from day to day. But if you zoom out you’ll see that we are extremely consistent to a rhythm of our own. When you know what’s coming and what you need in each phase of the cycle, it doesn’t have to be a rollercoaster!

The hero’s journey. This was a very important piece of the puzzle that helped solve my burnout problem. The hero’s journey is a metaphorical story used to teach the universal truth: we need to go through some shit, shitty experience that brings us face to face with our fears, that challenge us, makes us want to quit but force us to reach inside of ourselves and overcome, emerging from the darkness stronger than before, as a hero. (The premise of not only every movie you’ve ever seen but also all ancient mythology and religious teachings). 

Our culture today glorifies the easy and convenient, struggle is something to be avoided at all costs, making us unequipped to deal with difficulty. The hero’s journey normalises hard times and reminds us they are an important part of life, because on the other side of heartache there is wisdom. It’s a lesson. 

It took me a minute to embrace my cycle. I wanted to skip the slow energy side and just ‘man up’, be in that addictive fiery ovulation energy all day everyday. So of course I continued to burnout but each time I would wonder what was the lesson in the burnout. Each time I sat with the discomfort I began to uncover mind blowing, empowering truths. Such as:

Productivity is overrated. 

Without taking the time to get clear, slow down and reflect, ask why we’re doing it, what is working and not working, is there a simpler way, is it making us happy - we just make more and more of the same old boring shit. We end up creating more work for ourselves rather than results, we make silly mistakes that could have been avoided if we just cleared our heads, and we fail to notice great opportunities that are right in front of us. Action without rest is insane, it’s imbalanced, unsustainable and suicidal. Realising this illuminated to me how toxic my work environment (and mind) had become. Everyone jacked up on testosterone, trying to work harder and faster, doing more, more, more. To rest and reflect was considered lazy and not okay. It was killing us all, but especially the women whose health is jeopardized by too much testerone. It was a problem deeper than stress, the toxicity was rooted in misogyny. It’s not just women who have been labeled inferior but feminine traits like sharing emotions, nurturing safe spaces and taking time to reflect. I began to value mental clarity over busyness, I stopped trying to do everything and just excelled at what made sense. I saw and felt it working which gave me the confidence to push back whenever the ‘more, more, more’ voices started nagging. 

Consistency is boring.

When I stopped fighting my cycle and accepted that I wasn’t designed to perform consistently at the same level everyday, I realised how clever the patriarchy was. To my surprise the slow times were not wasted time at all, on the contrary! When you align your energy with what’s happening inside you, you tap into a huge power that I will struggle to put into words. If you’ve ever had a difficult mediation experience where you couldn’t slow your mental chatter, it’s like the opposite of that. It’s easy stillness, wombing, where healing and release can happen, which gives you greater cleaner energy, truths and next steps reveal themselves, and you can feel a magnetic pull from inside you making it easy to manifest what you desire. It’s a dreamy place that I’d choose over hustling and grinding any day! It may not look like much from the outside but it’s powerful, it recharges you in a way that 50 billion coffees never could. Your actions may be slower here but they are magnetised. If you really embrace the slow times you will emerge with what feels like superhuman capabilities in your ovulation week, which will more than make up for the perceived loss of productivity. It does hurt to find out you’ve been fed a lie and taught to devalue the very thing that holds your power, so that you actively disempowered yourself. But like in the hero’s journey, this hurt is the source of much healing, wisdom and empowerment. 

Control is the root of all evil. 

After a few hero’s journeys the answer was staring me in the face, the way to stop burning out and feeling like I wasn’t in control of my energy, was to surrender. It wasn’t necessarily my work, or the fact that I had a cycle that was burning me out, it was the way I kept fighting the current of my own nature, trying to control it. It takes way more energy to suppress nature than it does to go with it. 

Every time my body told me I needed rest and I refused, I was adding fuel to the fire. On top of that I spent precious energy punishing myself for not being able to keep going. Now if I feel really tired I might take a guilt free mental health day and recharge, rather than pushing through for another week making myself sick and needing to take a few days of sick leave. It wasn’t just me that I wanted to control. If things didn’t unfold the way I envisioned I burnt way more energy being frustrated and trying to force things back. When things unfold differently to what  we expect - that’s interesting. Who’s to say it’s worse and not better, who’s to say the lessons learnt through that experience aren’t more valuable than if everything went to plan. Also, that’s life, nothing goes according to plan so lamenting it or forcing it is a waste of your limited energy! It’s asking for burnout. Instead of seeking to control the uncontrollable, it’s healthier to practice belief in yourself, resilience and compassion for when the plot inevitably twits. Surrendering, especially for a recovering control freak, is easier said than done. It’s terrifying. But just as it’s a myth that rest is lazy, it’s a myth that surrender is defiet. Surrender is freedom. As you release the energy spent worrying about everything that could go wrong, you feel that energy returning to you. More focus, more clarity, more you. 

So my quest to conquer burnout didn’t go as I expected. Instead of finding more productivity, consistency and control, I found balance. By matching my very masculine perspective of action taking and goal seeking with a gentler feminine perspective of reflection and surrender I found a powerful balance. A balance that has stopped me from falling into a heap over and over again. 

Now I move like the tides now. I flow freely from high energy to slow energy, trusting my body when it tells me to rest or to run, knowing there is a reason for every season. Hallelujah. 

Practical ways to find your rhythm: 

Download a period tracking ap (Clue is my fave)

Download a full moon ap (especially if you don’t have a period, run on the full moon, rest on the new). 

Listen to the Period Queen Podcast (4 episodes, on for each phase of the cycle)

Read Goddess Wisdom by Taniska

Get less artificial light after dark, do more moon bathing. 

Spend time with mother nature (feminine energy).

Purchase Failure Friendly Action Cards to learn self belief and self compassion. 

[raging-parsnip]

Avatar used a simplistic and old approach to represent conflict, emotional trauma and personal growth in life. It gave a nostalgic and somewhat familiar approach to an audience of young children whilst adhering to the classic ‘hero’ adventure with a final goal and tricky path to achieve that. It gave us far more than just problem solving and battles but showed multiple heroic characters from diverse backgrounds how the lessons learned were far more valuable than their end-goal of saving the world... Although that was super important too.

The franchise impacted my outlook onto morals teaching methods on how to cope with acceptance, loss, change and identified pathways into answer finding to questions I did not know were possible of asking.

The series tackles death and new beginnings in a gentle yet seriousness light. Much unlike the ‘Disney’ approach you can clearly see how each character has been changed and shaped by their past and how each drastic experience impacts their ability to learn from and accept those situations. I believe this acts as a brilliant representation to real life events, it shows the audience from a young age that pain and suffering is a reality and can happen. It let kids experience the pain of characters which they could relate to on a personal level and allowed them to understand it in a way which was not taught but felt and learnt from.

Zuko makes a good example of this in the episode ‘Zuko alone’ where he is experiencing flashbacks from his past alongside his unhealthy state. His decision to travel alone and undergo this despair causes him to hallucinate scenarios due to his ill-state and therefore reflect upon his troubled mind and past experiences. This is a direct example of how his choice of isolation lead him to face his problems internally rather than with Iroh which although difficult, resembled one of the best episodes for his character development.

When he gives the younger boy the knife Iroh had once given him. This represents his attempt at replicating the strength he felt when he had received it himself. It presents an element of growth which reveals Zuko’s attempt at becoming a better version of himself, one that can give the bravery he once had to another at the age he once was. What is painfully obvious is that he has not yet begun to see the implications of his childhood and that giving a knife to a young boy to induce bravery is not as normal as it may have been for him. This shows how his experiences of being young were tainted by premature maturity through the expected numbness of fear and loss. Zuko put the boy into more danger by giving him the knife. His expectations from childhood and the family he was born into demonstrates a necessity for his change in character and mindset after saving him. Although, his choice of telling the family and guards that he was prince of the fire nation was arguably the wrong decision, throughout the episode he begins to show understanding and belief in people from the earth kingdom while learning to distrust his upbringing in comparison to that of the rest of the world.

Avatar allows a very unique pathway to begin which allows for a growing understanding of our place in the world untainted by mundane expectations. For example, Aang running away is a great example of how fear is tainted with a bad social understanding. Aang running away represents an ignorance toward fulfilling his duty as the Avatar yet it is a representation of how this emotion was extremely necessary in his decision to disconnect from the air nomads. He would have most likely been killed alongside them leaving the world far more defenceless against the fire nation. Arguably, it was a very smart move to run away therefore presenting the fear he felt as something, which over time, would prove to be essential in him saving the world. This represents how the show reflects upon fear as positive experience in the long run rather than something with no meaning as it pin-points an experience in Aang’s life which lead to drastic positive change through his pro-longed period of time spent in the iceberg.

This, unlike many childhood experiences which would usually consolidate fearful experiences as problems resembling weakness actually flips this negativity into a serious necessity in Aang’s life. It is not something that was brushed aside but was expended in Book One to make Aang realise his fear for what it was and what it caused and use it to fuel his motivation to create a better world. What this teaches us from childhood to adulthood is that trusting our feelings, even if they reflect those of fear is essential in shaping us in the future, making fear and focus far more impactful than fear and ignorance. By focusing on what we regret and using that as a drive to fuel meaning in productivity shows us how overcoming a pro-longed negative experience creates a far more rewarding affect which eventually demonstrates a more detailed understanding of ourselves and patience.

The show provides so much more depth into our belief of negative scenarios and even emotion, it shaped the minds of children who watched and experienced the past of characters which they resonated with, showing them direct examples of personal growth and how over time even the worst of situations helps the characters to become far better people than who they would have been if not felt. Even for children who had not experienced traumatic scenarios such as these, it provides a brilliant insight into how the timeline of waiting on positive change occurs. Personally, it gave me an understanding toward emotional growth and connection that an average school lesson could not.

Although that being said, it did not cover all bases but what it did provide was a starting point into seeing how past issues visibly link to psychological issues. It revealed how even bad decisions and choices lead to overcoming dilemmas leading to greater growth in the long run.

The creators of Avatar touch on points that children’s shows do not value today which was shown with such originality and detail it was worth talking about. This can definitely be seen in other franchises, but this is just one that affected me most as a kid and still does today. I hope the Netflix series does its justice. :P

[thenugking]

Grand Academy For Future Villains II: Attack of the Sequel, Chapter 11: Fall of Chapter Eleven. A commentary for Three.

General CW for the whole thing: parental abuse, internalised dehumanisation as a trauma response. Three’s not doing well.

Specific CW for this chapter: bad self care/mental breakdown

Game 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9

Game 2

Chapter 0 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 10

Alternatively, read on Google Docs here

***

LOADING PANIC MODE…

DO YOU REALIZE THE AUDITORS HAVE THE POWER TO REMOVE THIS SCHOOL FROM ITS STANDING OUTSIDE OF REALITY?! WE'D NEVER SURVIVE! AAAAAAUGH!

Well. Yes. That’s the thing Three’s been trying desperately not to think about this whole year, the reason they need the Academy to keep it’s accreditation. The lessons are valuable, the buildings are incredible, but they could stand to lose all of that. They don’t know that they could stand to lose DarkBoard.

The day of the tenure evaluation, you're summoned during lunch hour to the School Head's office—the real one, not the decoy used for the house challenge. Select members of the senior faculty are seated around a semi-circular marble table, before which stand the three candidates for a permanent position with the Grand Academy for Future Villains: your mother, her hair gone entirely white but splendidly dressed in flame-colored robes, Professor Ulik, in a well-tailored business suit, and Professor Fen, looking like their usual self (selves?) in—or possibly consisting of—a tall heap of sodden mouldering fabric. In the shadows behind them stand Lord X and Ms. Goul, and you feel the dry tickle in your throat that means the Voice in the Void is present for the proceedings as well. 

"Don't think we've forgotten about you," you say to yourself, and cough as you realize it's the Voice in the Void speaking through you again. You close your hand on the envelope in your pocket, grateful that it doesn't seem to be able to read minds. What happened to Val? you wonder. But there's no sign on the impassive faces of the auditors.

With an electrical buzzing, the School Head appears over the semi-circular table. You can see each of the contending professors grow focused and alert as it begins to speak.

It gives a long speech in its usual vein about the importance of the Academy, and the importance of the faculty to the Academy, and the personal contributions of each of the candidates standing before it. 

"We have three exceptional candidates for a single permanent faculty position this year," intones the Head, "of which one will be selected and the other two discarded in disgrace like the vermin they are. Let us consider each of them in turn. Professor Maedryn is an Academy alumna from the Science Fiction house, a conqueror of multiple worlds in her own narrative, and the parent of a current student you all have reason to be familiar with—Three. She is the central intelligence that commands the maintenance staff, the Faculty Sponsor for Science Fiction, and the current acting head of the Evil Genius department. She is also historically a substantial contributor to the Academy's operating fund."

Your mother smiles, nodding slightly to the other faculty members.

"Professor Fen is a graduate student who has been working toward a doctorate in Cosmic Horror since before earthly measurements of time were conceived or devised. Fen has served as a lab assistant to previous Evil Genius faculty members, and…" The Head seems at a loss to say anything else definitive about Fen. "And would be very cheap to maintain. If Fen is not selected for a permanent faculty position, Fen may continue indefinitely as a lab assistant, or may crawl down into the dungeons for lurking purposes."

Fen wobbles.

"Finally, Professor Ulik has numerous high-profile evil architecture design-build projects under her belt. She is the Faculty Sponsor for Thriller and is the project manager for the current landscape redesign on the Academy quad. She participated in the internal disturbances last year, and has been demonstrating her complete contrition and re-education over the course of this year."

Ulik bows briefly from the waist.

"In consultation with the senior members of the Academy faculty, the members of the Board of Visitors and Overlords, and the composite intelligence of DarkBoard, we are now ready to announce our decision."

Three very much would like to think the auditors have forgotten them. Why haven’t the auditors forgotten them? All they’ve been doing is standing in the background while Ulik impresses the auditors, and giving a mediocre performance in the genre tournament. They don’t even have perfect grades any more! If there was a positive side to their grades slipping, it should be that Three is now completely unnoticeable. This has to be Val’s fault. Did Val tell the auditors they made Three the Academy’s fatal weakness? And why? Three doesn’t matter! Why does anyone imagine they matter at all?

Onto the tenure candidates. Three is glad that the Head does not seem to place much value on having Fen as a tenured professor, but also that they’ll be allowed to remain here even without tenure. They feel a lot of sympathy for Fen and would prefer that helping Ulik didn’t mean potentially hurting them. 

The competition really seems to be between Maedryn and Ulik though, and they both have more to lose if they fail. Three doesn’t want to imagine the consequences of Maedryn’s wrath if that happens--either for the Academy or for themself, personally. Ulik will lose at least her job, and quite likely her life, too. Three is relieved the Head makes no mention of dismemberment, though.They hope, desperately, that even if she doesn’t receive tenure, Ulik will have proven her loyalty enough to avoid that.

As for Ulik’s complete contrition and re-education… it’s not as though Three and Ulik talk about the rebel college, or anti-heroism, or the fact that Professor Mortwain’s still suspended in the courtyard, but they’re still not entirely sure Ulik is all that contrite or re-educated. What they are sure about is that Ulik is smart and practical, that people sometimes go along with all sorts of things they don’t agree with to protect themselves, and that a lot of villains are egotistical enough not to notice the difference between that and genuine agreement.

"Professor Ulik, congratulations."

The smile of pleasure that lights Professor Ulik's face makes you almost smile yourself to see it.

"And congratulations are also due to Three, Ulik's teaching assistant this year, whom we have with us today. Your master has ascended, young student, and you will ascend with her."

Three has learnt to be very good at keeping their face blank, but this is certainly a time they struggle with that. Smiling that Ulik received tenure while Maedryn is present is completely out of the question, but they are internally delighted. For a moment, at least, before remembering they will now have to deal with Maedryn’s reaction.

That's the kind of laugh that even other villains know to back away from. Ulik is already inching toward the shelter of the marble table. You can't see Fen at all.

"Tenure!" Your mother's laughter lasts a full minute and a half. She reaches up to her head, and without even wincing, rips out the shiny metal cortical amplifier that had been embedded in her skull. She tosses it into a corner. "Well that means I won't be needing that any more, will I."

From the halls outside you hear a strange sound. Thudding. Clattering. Your mother's newly mindless maintenance staff dropping their tools. But Professor Maedryn turns to you, green fire kindling in her eyes. "And…I think you've made it quite clear I won't be needing you."

She advances toward you, a wild and deadly rage written on her face. You recognize a villainous breakdown when you see it.

Three knows Maedryn better than maybe anyone, but they’ve never seen her like this before. She’s destroyed planets in fits of fury, but she’s always retained control over herself. Even with how concerned they were getting about her, even though they and Sona kept having to remind her to sleep and eat, it never really occurred to them that Maedryn was capable of just… breaking down. It terrifies them. Not just because they’re in genuine danger from her now, and for once she doesn’t have a use for them, but because their entire worldview is based around the single truth that Maedryn has complete control over them. And if Maedryn’s not in control, where does that leave Three?

I struggled with Three’s decision here. When Maedryn threatens you, you can call your teacher for help, and if you have over 60% on the tenure track (which Three does), they defend you. And die for you. It would be narratively fitting to have Three’s mentor die at the start of the final act. There’s some lovely symbolism to be found in Three’s mother figure defending them from their actual mother. But I’m still hoping we’ll have two more games/years of plot, and if that’s the case, I feel it might be better to kill Ulik (or at least tease killing her, I’m not sure how willing I am to actually go through with it) later down the line, when Three is closer to being a full-blown hero. I might go back and change this decision in future. It depends on what works best with what a third and fourth game give us. Or if I plan out an imaginary third and fourth game. Or if I plan out a longer, more final ending to the second one. 

In any case, Three just falls into begging and grovelling and reminding Maedryn how very useful they can be, sounding far more panicky than they would really like. They think it’s working. They don’t know for sure, since Professor Gk brings down the ceiling to contain Maedryn. Three… is not entirely sure where to go from here.

Ms. Goul and Lord X are sitting by themselves in the Faculty Lounge when you arrive. There's no one else in the room. Is this the interview that you were warned about? Where is Val?

"Three. Please sit down."

There's nowhere to sit; all the chairs were removed and the three auditors are occupying the only two spots on the sofa and a nebulous position in the school's collective subconscious. The auditors are taunting you. This can't be a good sign.

You remain standing. With an effort of will, you keep from touching the letter in your pocket.

"Before we take the results of our deliberations to the whole Academy," says Ms. Goul, pressing her fingertips together, "we thought you should witness the full power of the auditing committee of the Board of Visitors and Overlords."

So the final auditor has arrived! But where—

"Our fourth member." Lord X waves a hand at the bookshelf-covered wall. It begins to revolve, and through the door walks a familiar figure. 

At first you can hardly believe it.

Three absolutely does not remain standing. They were given an order, and are not going to disobey the most powerful people imaginable. My first thought was that they sit on the floor, but thinking about it further? They kneel. They want to show obedience and subservience, that they are not a threat and that they acknowledge the auditors as far greater than them. It’s also a versatile position from which they can easily spring up, or roll out of the way, if needed.

As for the fourth auditor… I mean, in-game, I get Val, but out of the two options, one of them just works much better.

Phil?!

"Three, you old sinner! They told you'd been messing about with the muckety-mucks and I didn't believe it!" Your old friend slaps you on the back, ruffles your hair, punches you in the arm hard enough to hurt. 

"Phil? But how—I thought you—"

"Expelled from the Academy with extreme prejudice? Oh to be sure, to be sure. But you know me." Phil flashes a winning smile, the smile that had seen him through three years of determined slacking at the Academy. "People like me, we only fall up."

You'd known Phil's family was powerful. But powerful enough to ensure Phil a spot on the Board of Visitors and Overlords?

"I'm more a visitor than an overlord," Phil admits, perching on the arm of the chair and putting an incongruous arm around Lord X. "Very junior member, of course, but they thought I might have some specific expertise in this matter. I told them I'd only taken the position because I'd been told there was no work whatever involved, so I'm very displeased about it all. But hey, I got to see you! And no hard feelings about the heartless betrayal. It was the easiest thing to do, in your position, and I don't blame you for it at all."

Three is surprised, and relieved, and delighted enough to see Phil that they don’t even tell him not to touch their hair. They aren’t sure whether they believe there are no hard feelings. With anyone else, they wouldn’t. With Phil, it could easily be true. Either way worries them.

Ms. Goul coughs and sets three massive binders on the coffee table.

"We've been conferring on the question of the continuing accreditation of the Grand Academy for Future Villains. We are currently divided. I say the state of the management and educational standards at the school does not merit our accreditation of the body. Lord X says it does. And the Voice in the Void says—"

Phil's mouth falls open and a blast of white noise pours out.

"Yes, thank you, Voice," continues Ms. Goul, "but this is hardly conducive to resolving our debate. It comes down to Phil. I know you'll want to make a careful review of the evidence that we've assembled over the course of year in order to determine whether the Board of Visitors and Overlords can extend recognition to—"

"No," Phil says.

Well. That wasn’t entirely unexpected. Nor can Three entirely blame him, after the events at the start of the year. Back then, seeing Phil flung out of the Academy had inspired Three to take initiative and put themself at risk to protect Ulik, whatever the danger. And now he’s back, and his decision could cost DarkBoard their life. And whatever the danger, Three will not let that happen.

#I hold the Academy's fatal weakness. I am the Academy's fatal weakness. I invite them to reconsider their decision.

[questionsonislam]

How can we Strengthen our Belief? Will you give information about the Increase and Decrease of Belief, Tahqiq (Investigative) and Taqlid (Imitative) Belief and the Importance of Belief? Will you give Information about Investigative and Imitative Belief? Is there a weak or strong belief, how can we understand this?

Faith is a light, a blessing from Allah. However, faith is knowledge at the same time, which must be necessarily learnt. There are two ways to strengthen our faith:

The first and the primary one is to learn the rules of the sunnah and to investigate it in accordance with the Quran and the sunnah, as required by our time.

The second one is to advance in spirituality through performing good deeds, purifying the heart and soul by avoiding sins.

However, the course of this century makes the second way really difficult to take. For this reason, it is very important to read books which teach investigative faith. It has also become essential to study science as a feature of our century, besides studying religious knowledge. This is because ‘the light of the mind is science as the light of the heart is religious knowledge.’ We can state that one of the most important books which teach both of them together is Risale-i Nur Collection. In addition, one can benefit very well from books of significant people such as Imam Ghazali, Imam Rabbani, Imam Mawardi and Imam Qushairi.

Protecting and strengthening faith is a Muslim’s most important issue. It is necessary to attach importance to taqwa (God-Consciousness) in order to protect faith. Faith can only be protected within the castle of taqwa. Without taqwa, faith tends to deteriorate. It is necessary to read and make research on books about faith a lot in order to strengthen faith. Issues about faith which result from knowledge do not have an effect on one’s feelings unless it is filtered through reasoning. Firstly, mind must be satisfied.

Contemplation is very important. The fact that Prophet Abraham found his Lord by watching the moon and stars and contemplating is narrated in the Quran. Faith improves with thinking. For this reason, it is stated in a hadith that “One hour of contemplation is superior to one year of nafilah (supererogatory) prayer.”

Environment has a great influence on human beings. Sins suggest people infidelity. Suggestion has a great influence on human beings. It infuses infidelity into one’s sub-conscious while people are unaware of it. For this reason, one must keep away from sinful places as much as possible. Sins committed outside carelessly suggest people that there are no hereafter and punishment. To be protected from the negative effects of such suggestions, one must keep away from sinful places as much as possible and try to suggest people goodness and prevent them from evil as much as s/he can. One needs to study issues about faith a lot and pay attention to delivered messages in order to compensate for the damages of the negative suggestions which s/he has been exposed to. It is necessary to meet often with people who care about good deeds and live in accordance with taqwa. In this sense, the importance of a community (jama’ah) becomes more obvious. Just like sins suggest infidelity, good deeds suggest faith.

What is the Nature of Belief?

Belief is the greatest blessing and grant of Allah to humans. Allah gives it to His slaves that He wishes. However, it cannot be claimed that the slave has no role in receiving it. On the contrary, the slave should use his preference and will first and be willing for belief and guidance. Allah will give him belief and guidance upon his demand and request. Therefore, some Islamic scholars and saints described belief as, “It is a light that Allah Almighty puts into the heart of a person He wishes after that person uses his partial will and preference in that way.”

Is an increase and development in belief in question?

A seed grows and develops greatly until it becomes a tree; belief is like a tree too. Islamic scholars divide belief into two levels first:

1– Taqlid (imitative) belief,

2– Tahqiq (investigative) belief...

Imitative belief: It means adhering to the fundamentals of belief traditionally without reasoning on the issue as one hears from his parents, teachers and environment. Since imitative belief is a kind of believing that is not based on a detailed belief in the fundamentals and consciousness of belief, it may be exposed to some doubts and delusions and face the risk of faltering and breaking down especially in this age.

Investigative belief: It means knowing all of the issues about belief with evidence and in detail, to approve and believe without hesitation. A belief like that can protect itself from faltering and breaking down when faced by doubts and delusions. There are various degrees of investigative belief. Islamic scholars divide those degrees into three:

1 – Certainty at the degree of knowledge: It means knowing and believing in Islamic issues scientifically and in detail.

2 – Certainty at the degree of witnessing: It means knowing and believing in Islamic issues as if seeing them or as if observing their truthfulness personally.Seeing through eyes and knowing scientifically are very different from the aspect of giving a person an idea. Man can know something definitely, without hesitation but when he sees it, his belief increases. For instance, knowing the existence of America and seeing America personally. Certainty at the degree of witnessing is believing in the fundamentals of belief as if seeing through the eyes.

3 – Absolute certainty: It means accepting and realizing the issues concerning belief by entering into them and experiencing them personally.

The following example can be given to explain the three levels of belief: When smoke is seen somewhere it is known that there is a fire there. To know the presence of fire by seeing the smoke is certainty at the degree of knowledge. To go near the fire and to know the existence of fire by seeing it is certainty at the degree of witnessing. To go near the fire and to put your hand into the fire and feel the burning property of the fire and to know the existence of fire like that is absolute certainty.

Is imitative belief sufficient today?

As we have mentioned above, today, imitative belief faces many delusions and doubts and they are exposed to be shattered and break down. The reasons why imitative belief was sufficient in the past but not sufficient today is explained as follows:

“People needed the strength of religion and spirituality in every period. However, that need became an obligation today. In the past, our ancestors lived comfortably with quite simple knowledge of religion and “imitative belief” in the form of tradition because the whole environment presented them with spirituality. Today, the situation has changed completely. The feeling of religion has weakened; the former religious respect has been replaced by an arrogant disrespect. The family has diminished and the family ties have loosened. The burden of the family has been placed on the shoulders of the father and mother; they have not been able to take care of the religious education of their children due to the economic needs.”

“On the other hand, schools and universities have become centers of anti-religious propaganda. In an environment that has become more blurred with the derisions and obstinacy of the stubborn deniers, simple knowledge of religion is not enough today.”

“Questions like “What is religion? What is its relation with science? What should religion do in the presence of science and what kind of attitude should it assume?” have been occupying minds more than ever. Especially the intellectual young people should know the answers to those questions.”

Indeed, the religious knowledge and the belief lesson to be given today should have an investigative content that will make the mind and logic accept the issues about belief. Otherwise, a simple lesson of religion, some knowledge about belief in the form of tradition will not be satisfactory for the people, especially the youth of today.

What is the Importance of Belief for Man?

1. Belief is the reason why man was created.That is, he was created in order to know his Creator with belief and to worship Him. If man acts in accordance with the reason of creation, he will attain the endless bliss in the hereafter and enter Paradise; otherwise, he will be sent to Hell and will be exposed to endless trouble and unhappiness.

In this regard, belief is the means of gaining the endless bliss and the key to Paradise. One cannot enter Paradise without belief. Therefore, it is more important than anything in the world for a man to believe and to preserve his belief without losing or weakening it until his last breath. Because of the great importance of belief, our Prophet said: “Renew your belief by saying la ilaha illallah” : there is no god but Allah”; he attracted our attention to renewing and preserving belief. A question like, “the belief is repeatedly ordered to be renewed; is there a continuous possibility of belief to weaken and be lost?” may come to one’s mind.

Badiuzzaman, interprets the issue of renewing belief as follows by giving also the answer to that question:

“Since man himself and the world in which he lives are being continuously renewed, he needs constantly to renew his belief. For in reality each individual human being consists of many individuals. He may be considered as a different individual to the number of the years of his life, or rather to the number of the days even to the hours of his life. Since a single individual is subject to time, he is like a model and each passing day clothes him in the form of another individual.”

“Furthermore, just as there is within man this plurality and renewal, so also is the world in which he lives in motion. It goes and is replaced by another. It varies constantly. Every day opens the door of another world. As for belief, it is both the light of the life of each individual in that person, and it is the light of the world in which he lives. And as for la ilaha illallah (there is no god but Allah), it is a key with which to turn on the light.”

“Then, the instinctual soul, desire, doubts, and Satan exercise great influence over man. In order to damage his belief, they are much of the time able to benefit from his negligence, to trick him, with their wiles, and thus to extinguish the light of belief with doubts and uncertainty.”

“Also, man is prone to act and utter words which apparently oppose the Sharia, and which in the view of some religious authorities are no less than unbelief.Therefore, there is a need to renew belief all the time, every hour, every day...” (Letters The Twenty-Sixth Letter)

In the passage above, the necessity of renewing belief is underlined from three different points:

First point: The time and place man lives, his spiritual mood, psychology, thought and understanding can change very often due to the environment he is in. The things that he is exposed to, the things that he does and the people that he contacts leave positive or negative marks on him. Our Prophet states the following about the issue:

“The heart of the son of Adam is like a sparrow; it turns seven times a day; it is turned continuously.” (Jamiu’s-Saghir, 2342)

“Doubtlessly, all of the hearts of the sons of Adam are like one heart in the powerful fingers of Allah, who is Rahman (the most Compassionate); Allah turns His slave wherever he wants to turn.” (Jamiu’s-Saghir, 2344)

“The heart of the son of Adam is more changeable than a saucepan; when it boils, the water moves.” (Jamiu’s-Saghir, 7300)

“The heart is like a feather in the desert. The wind turns it inside out continuously.” (Jamiu’s-Saghir, 8135)

“The reason why the heart (qalb) is called so is that it turns all the time. The heart is like a feather stuck in a tree in the desert; the wind turns it inside out continuously. (Jamiu’s-Saghir, 2595)

Due to the fact that the heart of man and his psychological mood is so vulnerable to outside effects, our Prophet ordered us to renew or beliefs often by saying “la ilaha illallah.”

Second Point: It is the fact that there are negative feelings like the soul, desires and delusion in man, and the devil constantly tries to tempt and deceive him. In a moment of heedlessness, those negative thoughts may cause doubts in man about belief. It is necessary to renew belief so as not to fall into a dangerous situation like that.

Third Point: Man cannot keep himself away from some words and sentences that are contrary to religion seemingly and that are even regarded as unbelief by some scholars. Therefore, it is necessary to say “la ilaha illallah” and renew belief.

Another way of strengthening and preserving belief is to upgrade it from the level of imitative belief to investigative belief. It can only be achievedby reading the books about belief that teach the truths of belief investigatively and answer the doubts and delusions that can come to the mind and by taking part in talks about belief.

If man upgrades his belief from imitative to investigative level, it will be out of question for him to lose his belief and to die without belief in the last breath. Islamic scholars say that the devil will come to deceive man and take away his belief in his deathbed using all of his tricks and delusions. Therefore, they say that they are afraid of the time of death. Man can be freed from dangers like that in deathbed through investigative belief. It is because in investigative belief, belief is not only in the mind; it is distributed over the heart, spirit and other feelings and settled there. Even if the devil damages the belief in man’s mind, it cannot remove the belief settled in other feelings. Thus, he remains a believer and dies as a believer.

2. Belief is a great source of morality and a strong supporting point for man. A person who attains the real belief can challenge the whole universe and can get rid of the pressure of the troubles that he undergoes to the extent of the strength of his belief. Our victories that made history and caused people write legends are good examples of the strength that belief gives to man.

A believing person, no matter how big a disaster happens to him, may face those troubles and sorrows with trust in Allah and surrendering, and with the feeling of consent to predestination and confront them with patience and endurance. He does not fall into hopelessness and pessimism. He does not resort to rebellion and screaming. It comes from the strength that belief gives a man. We see very often that people with no belief give way to despair so much that they think of committing suicide when they face very small problems. The fact that we witness almost no suicides in Islamic countries and that suicides increase in the most civilized and wealthy countries with high level of welfare confirm it.

Our Prophet pointed out to the power of strength and resistance that belief makes man gain as follows:

The example of a believer is that of a fresh green plant. The leaves of it move in whatever direction the wind forces it to move. When the wind becomes still, it stands straight. Such is the similitude of the believer: He is bent by calamities (but does not fall down). And the example of an unbeliever is that of a pine tree which remains hard and straight till Allah pulls it down when He wishes." (Bukhari, Tawhid, 32)

"The state of a believer is very nice. If a misfortune hits him, he shows patience; it is good for him. If something good happens to him, he thanks God; it is good for him." (Muslim, Zuhd, 64)

[mistresspierce]

A Lesson in Grace and Decorum / Stelexis Scene Week

WHO: Stella Pierce and Alexis St James @alittlebit-switchlexis

SUMMARY: Stella plays teacher and punishes Alexis for acting out in her classes ( Dom 101/ Switch 101 )

Stella had arranged to use an empty classroom for her and Alexis for their scene. She believed that things should be done properly or not at all. Having set up flowers and a ‘Miss Pierce’ name plate on her desk she felt satisfied with the whole thing. Taking a seat behind the desk she waited for Alexis to arrive so that they could go over her limits.

In an outfit that was the perfect choice for "naughty school girl", Alexis headed over to the classroom Stella had arranged them to meet, admiring the attention to detail the Domme took in the set up, as she entered the room with a knock. "Hello, Miss Pierce." She greeted, standing at the doorway, waiting for further instructions on what to do.

Stella nodded her head in greeting to the brunette as she walked in, trying not to eye the outfit with too much enthusiasm. “Come in and take a seat in front of me Miss St James. And before I go over the concerns that have been brought to me by some of your other teachers, I’d like to just hear your safeword and limits.” Alexis sashayed into the classroom, throwing herself into the chair closest to the teacher's desk, making sure to slouch and cross her arms, legs spread to reveal that she wasn't wearing any underwear under her short skirt. She decided that her school-girl character was clearly a troublemaker tease who needed to learn a thing or two about respect, and if you're not going to fully lean into a scene, what was the point? "My safeword is the stop-light system, and my limits are watersports, scat, mutilation, and blood, Miss." She told her, sitting up straighter to indicate she broke character for a second to go over this information, before slouching back down, eyebrows raised, "As for the concerns of the other teachers, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm a fucking delight to have in class." Stellas eyes flicked down the brunettes legs, following the form of her body in the skirt. She nodded at the girls limits before returning to the stern look that she had been using before. “Perhaps there would be less complaints from other members of staff if you didn’t use foul language like that Miss St James. There have also been complaints of you missing lessons entirely, as well as distracting other students with your clear uniform violations.” Stella told her, standing up to come around the front of the desk. “What do you have to say for yourself?” Alexis rolled her eyes at the complaints her student character had received. "Well, Miss, maybe the other teachers shouldn't be so uptight, you know? It's just a word." She defended herself, "and I have more important places to be than class anyway." At the uniform comment, she smirked, spreading her legs even more. "Well, no one's seemed distracted to me. Are you distracted, Miss?" She asked with a wink, moving one of her hands down to rub her inner thigh suggestvely. “You are a representative of this school Miss St James and the rules clearly say that we do not tolerate this kind of behaviour.” Stella snapped, putting a hand on the desk. “There is nowhere more important than your classes if you expect to have any kind of a future outside of these four walls.” The blonde insisted, raising her eyebrow as the girl spread her thighs. “I am not distracted by anything other than your appalling posture.” Alexis smirked and resisted rolling her eyes at Stella's lecture, not once stopping her hand from heading towards her sex, making sure to not break eye contact from her. "Well Miss, maybe I've been the one distracted by such a sexy teacher. How am I supposed to focus for my future if I spend all my time between these four walls wanting to be inbetween your legs?" She asked as nonchalantly as she could, face breaking into a smirk. "Maybe you should help me fix my posture then, since it appals you so much." Stella couldn’t help but glance towards Alexis’ hand despite trying to keep her focus on her face. “You continue to be highly inappropriate Miss St James, and I won’t tolerate it in my classroom.” The blonde told the switch haughtily, standing up she came over to the girl and put one hand on her shoulder and the other on her back straightening her up. “There will be no slouching on my watch.” Alexis had a shit-eating grin on her face as Stella snapped, and began correcting her posture, letting out an exaggerated gasp at the feeling of the Domme's firm hands on her back and shoulder. "I love it when you manhandle me, Miss," She said, her tone breathy, hoping that would stern her superior on. "Maybe that's what I need to help me be a good girl, instead of a naughty brat." “Oh I’m going to teach you a lesson you’ll never forget Miss St James.” Stella told the other girl. “Bend over my desk, now. Before I send you to the principals office for your repugnant language and bad attitude.” The blonde ordered, moving back over to her desk to grab a ruler. Alexis smirked as she stood, sashaying over to the desk, looking back at Stella and shooting her a wink. She then slowly bent herself over the desk, thanking the stars for the flexibility and stamina cheerleading gave her over the years, managing to press her chest and the palm of her hands flat against the wood, spreading her legs in a manner that would only hitch the short skirt up further, revealing more to her so-called teacher. “Ready to punish me, Miss?” She purred, glancing over her shoulder to shoot a wink at Stella. Stella couldn’t help but admire the switches ass as she walked over to the desk, even though she knew she should be focused on making the brunette very  sorry for her behaviour. “I am ready, though I do hope that you know this isn’t for your pleasure Miss St James.” Stella threatened, as she picked up her ruler and struck it against her hand. “Count the strokes. We’ll go to ten and see how the message is sinking in.” The blonde Domme told her, and then swung the ruler. “Whatever you say Miss.” Alexis replied in a cocky tone, before turning back round, staring intently at her hands. She wasn’t ready for the blow to come, the gasp that left her being one of pain as equally as pleasure. “One, Miss.” She was glad that Stella wasn’t holding back, and if her past experiences with impact play had taught her anything, it was that the first one was usually the most gentle, and she could already feel the wetness against her thighs in anticipation for the other nine strokes. “You’ll regret that little challenge St James.” Stella promised, while she wasn’t particularly keen on submissives who acted out for no reason. There was definitely something appealing about Alexis’ particular brand of fire. Stella nodded to herself when Alexis counted off the first stroke, and continued in the same vein. Using precise, hard strokes with the ruler, she was well versed in impact play and avoiding any spots that might leave a submissive with unpleasant long lasting damage. It was clear by the fifth stroke just how experienced Stella was with the ruler, and she found herself both wanting and in fear of the next blow to her sensitive skin. Any bite she had had had faded quick, and her counting aloud had turned from over-confident announcements to meek murmurs. She had definitely learnt her lesson, that was for sure. Stella listened carefully to the girl counting, just in case it seemed that she was becoming overwhelmed. While Stella was more than well versed in impact play she had already experienced two submissives who weren’t at this school. Alexis seemed fine, and so Stella finished the set and then leaned back. “Ready to apologise for your behaviour Miss St James.” Alexis looked over her shoulder after wiping a tear away. The scene wasn't any more painful than what she was used to, but it definitely took her by surprise and she was a mess over it both deliciously hurting her, and arousing her. "I am, Miss." She told Stella, with a solemn nod. "I am very sorry for my actions in class, and the way I've talked to you today." The sadist in Stella relished seeing tears for her efforts and she laid down the ruler. “I’m glad you’ve seen the error of your ways Miss St James, now I think it’s time you make it up to me another way.” Stella said smoothly, rolling up her pencil skirt. “You’ve made me very frustrated.” Alexis slowly lifted herself up from her desk, smirking when she saw Stella lift up her skirt. “Of course, Miss.” She said, slowly getting on her knees in front of the Domme, licking her lips in anticipation. She started off with gentle kisses to her inner thighs, occasional sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin, making her way up the other girl’s cunt, looking up at Stella for permission to keep going. Stella smirked as Alexis got down on her knees, allowing herself to relax under the switches ministrations. She’d been dominating a lot but she hadn’t actually just enjoyed pleasure for a while. “Go on.” She instructed as the switch looked at her for permission. Not hesitating anymore after she was given permission, Alexis dove right in, her mouth making contact with Stella’s cunt. She moaned against her, tongue slowly exploring the woman’s sex, gauging how she reacted to the feeling of Alexis’ tongue on her pussy. After sucking on her clit, Alexis stopped and shifted, her own wetness in between her thighs prevalent. “Miss, please can I touch myself whilst I eat you out?” She asked her, looking up at her, biting her lip. “Please? I’ll promise I’ll never misbehave again.” Stella let herself grind against Alexis’ mouth, giving herself over to the sensations. As the switch sucked on her clit the, taller girl began to feel the rising coil in her stomach. Usually the blonde would have denied the girl on her knees,  but there was something about the idea of Alexis touching her on her knees that was so hot. “You may St James, but you remember who allowed you your pleasure and make sure you thank me when you cum.” Alexis let out a moan of appreciation as she reached down to rub her own clit, moaning at how wet she was from the spanks that Stella gave her. “Don’t worry, Miss. I will.” She promised, her voice hitching slightly. Her mouth went back to the Domme’s cunt, her tongue moving in rhythm with her own fingers, both of the girls getting off from the exact same pace. Stella ignored the switch as she ground down on her face and made she got her pleasure exactly how she wanted it, her hand reaching up to grab at her own breast as she got closer to her own orgasm. As the tightening in her stomach reached it's pique the Domme tugged at the girls hair and moaned as she came onto Alexis face. It was good timing that Stella's impending orgasm came not long after she began pulling at Alexis' hair -- it being a major turn-on for the Switch -- and as she helped the blonde Domme ride through her own orgasm, she worked harder on herself, feeling her belly tighten, pushing herself over the edge. She moaned as she came, not long after the Domme, before looking up, breathing hard -- sweaty, but satiated. "Thank you Miss for my pleasure." She told the Domme, just as she promised. Stella sat breathing hard against the desk as she waited for the switch to catch up to her, when the brunette thanked her she slipped off the desk and tugged down her skirt a little. "You've done very well today Alexis, you've been an exceedingly good girl." Stella told the switch. "Let's get you some cream for that ass of yours."

[somuchbetterthanthat]

If you could hit me with a no. 10 on the prompt list for JonMartin and completely destroy me emotionally, I would be very grateful? :D

10 - not said to me. :). :). :).  (how dare u.). Disclaimer that 1) i don’t know what martin’s poetry looks like; 2) i myself have written a few bad poems before 3) IN FRENCH. so, yeah. Please, please don’t judge me too hard.

It’s not about what I say, by Martin Blackwood. 

I create warmth; carefully measured for your hands,Sweeter than they all expect, even you, to make amends. 

“And… You believe him?” Elias asks.

His tone is mild as ever, which tends to make Jon more agitated even on his best days, and this is definitely not one of those - he’s left Martin down in the Archives to settle in, and he can’t stop thinking of his pale, tired face, or the way his eyes had immediately checked the whole room nervously as soon as he’d thought Jon wasn’t paying attention anymore. 

“Well, yes,” Jon says impatiently. “I can’t imagine why he would lie about that, and we’ve all been made aware of Jane Prentiss months ago -”

“Mmh, he isn’t a bad liar,” Elias says, which - is a very odd and Elias thing to say, Jon supposes. “But alright, I’ll see what I can do, call the police perhaps. If you’ll please tell Martin to come see me -”

“Not today,” Jon says categorically. Elias’ eyebrows raise somehow even higher than before. “He’s exhausted, and terrified.” he justifies, with no idea why his neck warms up. “He needs rest. You can hear his story tomorrow, surely.”

“Of course.” 

Jon nods. “Right. Well. Thank you. On his behalf. For letting him stay -”

“If you don’t mind me saying, Jon, I’m quite surprised of how… ardently you seem to be taking this,” Elias says lightly. “You’ve been very vocal before about your… disapproval of Martin.”

Jon flushes; he can still very well recall the… heated discussion he and Elias had a few months ago, when Elias told him Martin would join them in the Archives. Still; this is not - this is much bigger than any personal feelings, surely Elias can see that -

“I may not like the way Martin works, but I’m not heartless,” he says at last. “He’s - he’s just had a very traumatic experience. I’m not going to begrudge him some kindness just because he’s horrendeous in latin. Besides he’s -” Jon tapes his fingers stiffly on his side. “He’s a… a good man. And if I had been a bit kinder in the first place, perhaps he wouldn’t have been stupid enough to go back there in the first place just to, to prove a point to me.”

And i feel guilty, he doesn’t add; I feel guilty that I’ve been so pleased not to have him around, I feel guilty I didn’t think to check on him properly when he didn’t return my calls, I feel guilty I sent him there in the first place -

Elias seems to understand, like he always does. “Well, that’s a lesson learnt I suppose,” he says. “We’ll see what comes of it soon enough, I’m sure.”

I offer whatever I can, through the dark you take refuge in; I stay here even when you bite, because I don’t need to be seen.

“Tim, one more thing,” Jon says before he can’t stop himself. 

Tim turns around to look at him with tensed shoulders, lips pursed and eyes ready for a fight. It makes every single bit of Jon’s agressive instincts rise up as well, but he tries very hard to keep his voice mild and professional when he says: 

“I know the situation is…” 

“Fucked-up?” Tim says when Jon can’t seem to find the proper word. 

“Right,” Jon sighs. “That. I understand it’s been - hard on you but if you would please refrain for taking in out on Martin -”

“Excuse-me?” Tim exclaims, and closes back the door loudly behind him. “Oh that’s rich, Jon, that’s - are you kidding me right now?”

“You’re mad at me,” Jon retorts stiffly. “Yell at me all you want, but I’ve overheard you and Martin yesterday and -”

“You overheard did you?” Tim bites. “That’s none of your business what I say or not say to Martin -”

“Yes, it is!” Jon snaps. “Weren’t you the one who wanted me to be a proper boss? Well, as your boss, I’m telling you there’s no need to take out your anger on your colleague, especially when, out of all of us, I think Martin deserves it the less -”

Tim scoffs with angry disbelief. “You are such an arshole,” he says. “You’re so - You’re such an hypocrite! You literally spent your days before going off at him for the stupidest reasons and now I’m being called off because I got annoyed at his endless cheerfulness once?” 

“I’m just saying -”

“No, no, I get what you’re saying,” Tim cuts him off. “Bet that’s going to make Martin’s day too, really; oh, hey Martin, of course i’ll take that cup of tea, Jon said I had to, because he doesn’t want us to hurt your feelings. Get this: next time he might even admit that you’re not a murderer! That’s true love right here!”

“I -” Jon tries again, cheeks flushed and stomach twisting unpleasantly. “If you’re going to make a joke out of this -”

Tim stares at him for a second, and then he shakes his head, looking disgusted. 

“God, you’re so - Fine, boss. Be nice to Martin. Added to my to do list of the day. I’ll just go now, or I may punch you, and god forbid I get fired.”

And though you may never hear, surely you must notice,That I fight for you, the small and the big, monsters or police -

“Hey, Jon?” 

“Mmh?”

“I’ve been thinking about your colleague,” says Georgie above his head. 

Jon opens his eyes back to stare at her, baffled: “Why were you thinking about Martin?”

He knows immediately he’s made a mistake, though, because Georgie’s hand goes back to play with his hair and she gives him a cheeky grin, the kind he’s learnt to dread years and years ago. 

“Who says I was talking about Martin?” she asks, and she even has the nerves to waggle her eyebrows at him. He scowls, cheeks flushed.

“Well, if it was Melanie, you would have said her name, for a start. As for Tim and Basira I - well -”

He doesn’t have any excuse; he knows this, and she knows this, and he knows she knows this. Her eyes are sparkling. 

“No,” he says. 

“Oh, come on,” she laughs. “I was testing a theory, and you’ve proven me right.”

“No,” he repeats, more firmly. 

He knows exactly what she’s thinking and it’s - absurd. Utterly, entirely, completely - 

“He sounds sweet, from what you’ve said,” Georgie continues, happily ignoring him. “And like he cares about you, which is important, you’re really terrible at taking care of yourself, Jon.”

“I am not, under any circumstances, having this conversation with you,” Jon tells her.

“Who else are you going to talk to about your feelings, uh?” Georgie asks, and then, grins harder. “Martin?”

“Isn’t there an implicit law, somewhere, that forbids exes to talk about each other’s -” Jon stops right there. He’s made another mistake. God, he’s bad at this. Or perhaps Georgie is very good. There’s no words for what Martin is to him, he supposes. He’d like to think they’re more than coworkers, but he’s unsure friends can really apply when he’s spent the last few months unable to trust him for anything at all, and the last few years before that berrating him for poor work ethics. He groans. 

“You could ask him out,” Georgie suggests, her voice kinder now. “Have dinner with him, see what’s going on here.”

“Right,” says Jon. “And then what? We date until I become a monster? Until he dies horribly because I made another mistake? Or, perhaps, until the end of the world arrives and we don’t know how to stop it?”

“…Jon,” Georgie sighs softly. 

“I - sorry,” Jon mumbles. “I just… I just don’t think dating should be high on my priorities right now.” Georgie opens her mouth again, but he adds, empathically: “Besides, and that is a very important fact, I am not in love with Martin Blackwood. Which means this whole conversation is pointless.”

There’s a blank; The Admiral purrs on Jon’s chest, his claws digging into his sweater rather uncomfortably. Georgie’s eyebrows rise up. Oh, thinks Jon. Third mistake. He’s really, really quite terrible at emotional talks. 

“In love?” 

So you see, dear one, there are many things I could say to you,I have, before; and I will again, that much is true -

“Look, Jon,” says Basira. “I do care about what’s happening with Martin, but out of all of the things to take out from these tapes, I don’t think that finding him is the priority.”

“Fine,” Jon spits; he’s still clutching the last tape recorder in his hand, as if it could somehow make Martin appear right now, in front of him. “Then I’ll just go find him alone.”

“Jon,” says Daisy calmly between them. 

“What?” Jon snaps. “What is it Daisy? What is it you all want me to say? That I’m going to deal with this - this Extinction business right away? I don’t care about a new threat to the world. We have plenty of things ready to destroy the world at any given moment! This whole place is a monument to it! I may very well be on the path to destroy it myself, not that I would know if that’s the case because that’s the information I apparently can’t get by thinking hard! So excuse-me if for once, for once I prioritize -”

“For god’s sake Jon, Martin’s a big boy,” Basira cuts him off, exasperated. “He’s made his choice, he’s very clear about it. He doesn’t need you to throw yourself into danger recklessly again, he needs you to think. Look at all of this! He’s carved you the path for it so if you could just -”

“What did you do, all those months Daisy was trapped in the coffin?” Jon asks abruptly.

Basira looks like he’s just slapped her. “This is not -”

“You searched for her,” Jon continues fierce and angry; his mind pulling at Basira’s thoughts; she stares at him, and when their eyes meet they both feel the gaze of the Eye, staring down at them, heavy and passive. “You searched for her, again and again, you did not give up because there was no body, which meant there was hope. And yes, sometimes, that meant leaving Martin and Melanie at the Institute, unprotected; but you did it, because you loved her.” 

“Stop that,” Basira says, very, very coldly. “Get out of my head, Jon;”

Jon does but, for once, he doesn’t waste his breath apologizing. “I am going to find him,” he says. “Because I love him, and because I refuse to believe it’s too late. Everything else can wait.” 

But I don’t need to tell you that I love you,Because I know you’ll understand it in everything I do. 

“Jon,” says Basira, very quietly. She understood already of course. Jon’s throat is tight. 

“I know,” he says, and that’s ironic, that’s so - he wants to laugh, and he wants to cry. “I know.”

“What?” says Martin, worry and urgency in his voice. “What is it?”

“There’s a way to get out,” Jon tells him, very softly. “Of course there is. I just - need to know it.”

“…Okay?” Martin frowns. His hand is still gripping Jon’s arm, warm and comforting, and Jon feels little tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. “Do you - why do I feel like i’m not going to like it?” he asks. 

“It’ll be fine,” Jon breathes out. He stares at him, drinks him in, pale and freckled and entirely focused on Jon, as he always were; all this time, doing everything for him, as if Jon deserved any of it - “It’s going to be fine, Martin.” 

“You usually say that when it’s not,” Martin says. 

Jon laughs. “Right, I guess I do. Basira -”

“Yeah,” she says. “I’ll handle it.”

“Thank you,” he tells her softly. There’s a beat, and then she awkwardly squeezes his hand. “Good luck,” she tells him, and gets up, rising up her gun.

“Wil one of you just tell me what’s going on?” Martin snaps. 

Jon turns towards him again; carefully, hesitantly, he lets his fingers run over Martin’s cheek. Martin freezes; 

“Martin,” Jon begins. “I -”

I love you, he doesn’t say. What’s the point? Why add to their pain, when there’s already so much of it? I love you, he doesn’t say, and lets his hand fall at his side again, ready to open the door and drown. 

[everythingjonsa]

Episode 1 - impressions Part 1

I’ll start with the opening credits. I love having Kit sandwiched between Emilia Clarke and Sophie Turner.

And I’m almost sure I saw two dragons facing each other in one of the rings of the citadel.

And wohoooo!! ARYA STARK. I screamed when she came onto the screen. All praise to Maise for displaying her brilliant talent in acting when she sees Jon. And maybe I’m wrong but I got Gendrya vibes right from the beginning, lol!!

Ok, so it’s pretty clear that the northerns don’t like the southerns. And boy did Emilia emote well in that scene.

You can literally see that Dany hates being unwelcome UNTIL her dragons roar and screech from above and the people scatter in fear - AND that more than anything else give the mother of dragons a reason to smile. She feels empowered, confident and marches along with a smug look on her face.

10 points to dark Dany! I love how the show runners have reiterated the fact that Daenerys derives her power from her dragons.

Jon and Bran have a great reunion. Forehead kiss is a parallel to their goodbye kiss in pilot. It was a great reunion.

Now we come to the Jonsa hug. It was very brief and did not give out any romantic vibes to me.

But here’s the thing...

This hug has been filmed from various angles for sure. Because the hug that we got to see in the earliest clips of season 8 has been filmed from a different angle than what was shown to us. My question is why?

Anyway Sansa gives Dany an epic brush off and Dany doesn’t like it one bit. We see that tension continue in the great hall where it also appears like a great love triangle is being framed.

Sansa brings the topic of food again and rightly so. Dany snubs her and they exchange an icy cold look. With Jon sandwiched in between them. This is getting better and better, mind you!!

The northern lords pull Jon up for bending the knee.

Sansa gives Jon a “Don’t look at me, I warned you, you idiot.” Look - and I simply loved it.

Jon very unwittingly tells his people that he was given a choice to retain his crown or save the north and he chose to do the latter. That’s not a very good way to introduce the new queen to your people. He basically tells them that she asked me to bend the knee or f@&₹ off.

Obviously, it doesn’t endear her to his people.

Then Tyrion adds fuel to the fire by giving them information about the Lannister army heading north which causes an uproar.

ONE CAN JUST LOOK AT THE EXPRESSION OF UTTER DISBELIEF ON SANSA’s face and figure out that right now- she’s the cleverest player of the game. She knows Cersei, she knows the way her mind works. She was not kidding last season when she said that to Jon and he’s about to learn a lesson about her “smartness” very soon.

The Tyrion and Sansa scene was brilliant too.

“I used to think you’re the cleverest man alive”

It kinda summed up their entire conversation beautifully. She’s learnt to be smarter than Tyrion. Well Full marks to Sansa Stark! I can’t wait to see the look on Tyrion’s face when they get to know the truth.

Sansa is the YAMBQ. Definitely.

The Jon and Arya reunion was awesome!! I have no words to describe it, really. It mirrored their hug from season 1. And Jon’s expression when he hugged her was fantastic - so emotional, so my baby sister like!!

Now I’ve seen some people who’re disappointed with Jon telling Arya that he could’ve used her help with Sansa. I’ve always maintained that Jon hasn’t explored his feelings for Sansa so to me it appeared like normal sibling banter. Jon’s not bitching about Sansa. He’s just saying, “Hey little sister, where were you when I could’ve used some help on my team?” It’s harmless according to me.

But what was beautiful is the way Arya defends Sansa!! I screamed so loudly, my kid got scared 😟 lmao!!

But it was a beautiful moment.

“She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met.”

Yaaaaaaas girl!! I’m all here for sister love.

Also, when Jon tells Arya, “I’m her family too.” And Arya responds with a “Don’t forget that.” It almost sounds as a warning of sorts and a definite foreshadowing for the future.

Now to the dragon riding scene between Jon and Dany. Since there are many aspects to this scene, I’m going to deal with it Part by part. Boy is this going to be a long post or what!

1. Tyrion, Davos, Varys

Davis explicitly tells Tyrion that Dany will have to “earn” the loyalty of the northerns and the wildlings. And he has a solution-

What if the seven kingdoms were ruled by a just woman and an honourable man?

This episode was very important for it asks all the right questions. The above is the first one that’s of utmost importance.

Obviously, he means a marriage between Jon and Dany

a.k.a Marriage between A Stark and a Targaryen

As a means of earning the loyalty of the north!!

The seeds of a political marriage between a Targaryen and a stark narrative have been sown.

Which means a Targaryen to a Targaryen marriage is not going to work if the living survive their fight with the dead. Need I say more?

Besides, Varys rather tragically looks sideways at Jon and Dany, the handsome couple and says,

NOTHING LASTS

2. Jon and Dany’s conversation about Sansa.

It’s important to note that Dany brings up ONLY SANSA in this conversation, when all of the northern lords threw shade on her. Plus, Bran was rather cold to her too. He simply glares at her and tells her about her dead dragon.

For some reason however, Dany singles out Sansa’s dislike for her which irks her the most. Even in Jon and Arya’s conversation, Sansa’s dislike for Dany is brought up. The show’s trying to make a point.

So anyway Jon tries to make a joke about how Sansa didn’t like him much either when they were growing up WHEN suddenly dark Dany resurfaces ...

I don’t want her to be my friend. But I AM HER QUEEN. If she can’t respect me............

WHAT WILL YOU DO??? I was asking the television screen.

It was a very pivotal moment. The show runners don’t allow her to complete her threat and for a moment there we see a glint in Jon’s eye. I don’t think Jon would’ve liked whatever Dany would’ve said next. It was essential to the plot that she didn’t tell Jon what was on her mind.

Simply because of what was coming next.

2. Jon rides Rhaegal

So in all the fictional books I’ve ever read until now which have dragons in it, the dragon always chooses the rider.

We saw that happen with Jon and Rhaegal today. Rhaegal ( his father’s namesake ) moves towards him and almost gets Jon to touch him. It’s essential to note these points about the dragons.

a) They are clearly visually different at this point of time. Rhaegal is green, Drogon is red.

b) They are virtually the same size now. Rhaegal has grown in size and I’m sure that’s been given importance because it will be important in future.

So Jon learns to ride a dragon and by the end of the ride he can maneuver a dragon on his own.

They go to a frozen waterfall and you can hate me all you want but the kiss did look genuine to me. Jon’s eyes were closed shut. But then again like every Jon and Dany romance scene in the past, there’s always a bit of negative foreshadowing.

Drogon glaring at Jon and vice versa whilst Dany had her back turned, was the continuation of the same theme.

JONSA

The scene between Jonsa in her solar was reminiscent of their tent scene from the battle of the bastards. They argue, huff and puff a little and speak their mind. Jon asks Sansa to have faith in him and Sansa asks Jon if he bent the knee for love? Jon doesn’t answer. Sansa doesn’t look like she likes the idea very much.

I also felt like Jon was caught off guard by Sansa’s observation. It was interesting and I’m sure there’s more to come. Again I could be wrong but this exchange between them just furthers my belief that whatever feelings Jon and Sansa have for each other lay hidden and unexplored. They still don’t know the truth about Jon’s parentage. Well, Jon knows now.

To be continued....

[hail-the-supreme-leader-kylo-ren]

EPISODE IX PREDICTIONS, HOPES, & DISCUSSION

This is a deep dive into the thoughts and questions I’ve been accumulating in regards to what might happen in Episode IX. (Sorry, it’s quite a long post).

My character predictions:

KYLO/BEN: My beautiful boy Ben is going to get redemption first and foremost. FACT. I’m so excited to see how it will go down though, so many possibilities. What’s going to be that final catalyst for Ben to finally stop resisting the Light? When we left Kylo/Ben in TLJ he had gained all the power he once sought, and yet he was utterly miserable. But, importantly Luke showing up on Crait offered Kylo that critical cathartic release he needs for the next step in his redemption journey. Looking back, TFA started with Kylo ordering a village massacre, and finished with him killing his father. We see progress in TLJ, as the act of committing patricide has been eating Kylo/Ben alive with regret and guilt, he then later cannot kill his mother, and instead he kills his tormentor, Snoke, to save Rey. So following this pattern of reversal, I predict in IX he’ll selflessly save a large group of people (the direct opposite of the original village massacre). It’s going to be so interesting to see how will he go with being The Supreme Leader of The First Order, as the evidence shows his ideology doesn’t really align with the Order. I feel like he’ll simply keep using The First Order for the sole purpose of destroying his mother’s Resistance, in a fruitless attempt to ‘kill his past’. Ultimately though, this story is about achieving balance between the Light and the Dark, not just in the force or the galaxy but also in oneself. Ben will need to accept the Light and the Dark sides in himself, and will have to come to this conclusion completely via his own initiative. Han (via Leia’s push), Luke, and Rey have all tried to convince him to the Light so far, to no avail.

REY: Strong Rey has been through a hell of a lot with Kylo/Ben in both films, and Luke in TLJ. She’s had to face her deepest fear that she’s ‘nobody’ and that her parents ‘aren’t coming back for her’. But despite this she has actually found belonging and empowerment along the way. Her self identity is in fact stronger than ever now (while Kylo/Ben is the opposite, he’s still having an identity crisis). I predict that in IX, Rey will be just as fearless and resilient as ever, but also more mature, less naive. Her relationship with the Resistance is interesting because in TFA Finn was lying to her about him belonging to the Resistance, so she was never actively apart of it, and then she was kidnapped by Kylo. Similarly, she sought Luke out for Leia (and the Resistance) in TLJ, but this was mostly a personal journey she undertook. She pursued turning Kylo/Ben to the Light, ‘for the Resistance’s sake’, but it was ultimately for her own sake. So I think that she might not completely feel like she belongs in the Resistance. It’s a sure thing, that she’ll still try to help them out how she can, but I predict it’ll once again be on her own ‘force’ related solo mission (because this fits her film narrative formula). This may be how she crosses paths with Kylo again? Also related to the Resistance, I have this gut feeling that she may clash heads with Poe over his decision making (IDK why, I just do). In terms of other predictions, it seems to be a given that she’ll repair the legacy Skywalker lightsaber, this is what Rey has done her whole life, salvage and repair. In regards to Ben, she’s learnt her lesson, and I truly believe she hasn’t given up on him, she just now knows that it has to be HIS decision to join the Light Side, she can’t ask him again – it won’t work. Like the TLJ novel states, she’s good at waiting, so deep down she’ll be waiting for him to eventually make the right decision. Also another prediction for Rey, is that the arm scar she got during the Throne Room fight will feature prominently in at least one on screen moment. I imagine it will go something like, she’s getting ready putting her satchel on etc, and looks down at her arm and remembers Ben/Kylo and that epic moment they fought together. Now Rey has a scar to remember him, and he too has one to remember her. ~swoons~ The recent costume leak (re: arm band) seem to support this scar’s significance further, but I initially thought that the scar would be important because LF chose to feature it on the damn TLJ poster.

THE WAR/THE BALANCE: This is the final film in the sequel trilogy, and this series is called “Star Wars” so I’m predicting more war, duh. However, we’ve already seen the Light side win over the Dark in the original trilogy, but it didn’t work – the Dark still rose back up. That’s why, this time round something’s got to be different. The Resistance can’t just defeat The First Order, I don’t think that’s going to cut it. TLJ expressed the nuisances of war, with the Resistance bombers and members dying, and also the large First Order crew who would’ve died on the dreadnaught. It really stuck with me what DJ said to Finn, “They blow you up today, you can blow them up tomorrow”. Maybe this wasn’t a precursor for IX, and was just Rian being Rian. But I still predict that Rey and Ben will team up again in this movie, but stay together this time, and they will initiate something like a ceasefire between the two sides, ending the vicious endless cycle of war that has plagued the galaxy for decades now. Ben and Rey are ‘the chosen one’ who will finally bring balance to the Force. It will be very interesting to see how this balance will be portrayed in a larger galactic scale.

FINN: Don’t get me wrong, I love my boy Finn, but to be honest on paper he is quite a one dimension character in regards to how he’s treated in these films. LF could’ve focused on his traumatic upbringing in The First Order and his emotions towards his ex-fellow troopers. Instead they have brushed past it, having Finn gunning down Storm Troopers with no second thought. (I guess they have the traumatic childhoods of Rey and Kylo to focus on instead). So the only prediction I have for him is that he will truly earn the title of ‘Resistance Hero’ in IX. Because in both the TFA and TLJ, he either left or tried leaving to save himself or save Rey, but by the end of TLJ he was finally committed to fighting for the Resistance’s cause (due largely to Rose’s influence).

POE: Poe was originally supposed to die in TFA, and in that movie he was really just a pilot (‘the best one in the Resistance’ though). In TLJ, he was still a pilot, but also shown to be cocky and impulsive, so the aim of TLJ was to teach him how to become a better leader, like Leia etc. So no doubt, in IX he’ll be making much better leadership calls, and assessing the risks more wisely. HOWEVER, it has been pointed out before how Poe, somewhat corrupts Holdo’s line of “We are the spark that will ignite the fire that will restore the Republic”, into “We are the spark that will light the fire that will burn the First Order down” this leads me to the juicy personal prediction (that probably won’t happen but...) maybe Poe in IX will turn into a ‘Coin’ like character, from the Hunger Games. Where Poe makes some very destructive calls, because he takes the war waaaay too far. I’m imagining this being Poe vs Hux, and it just keeps escalating and escalating in bloodshed. Hey, like I said, this probably won’t eventuate.

HUX: It seems obvious at this point that Hux is going to fail spectacularly again, for the third and final time. In TFA, his precious Starkiller Base was blown up. In TLJ, a dreadnought was destroyed under his watch, and then he lost his chance to become Supreme Leader as quickly as the opportunity arose. I predict that once he’s surrendered he’ll either sit there hilariously glaring everyone down, or pull the weasel move and beg/plead for his life. Regardless, it’ll be entertaining. Some might think that Hux is a serious military threat, and maybe in this film he might finally rise to the occasion. But throughout TLJ in particular, he was a laughing stock, and being completely honest Hux poses no serious threat to Kylo Ren. Kylo could end Hux’s life with the force or his saber, or both, within a mere second. WATCH YA BACK HUX. In all seriousness though, Hux will probably take every opportunity to undermine Kylo’s leadership – I know that. Man, do love their hate-hate colleague working relationship. 

I’m looking forward to:

More Reylo scenes – need I say more?

More Force Bond sessions, because we damn well know it ain’t gone

Seeing Kylo Ren The Supreme Leader, acting as such, sitting in his throne, and ya know just generally running The First Order (eeeeep!)

Simply seeing more Kylo scenes in general, because let's be real, Kylo/Rey/Finn are the true trio, and this is the final movie so this is our chance to finally see more of his POV. This will also be crucial to the redemption story too, as the general audience will probably need a lot more information about him to be onboard for his redemption

My favourite comedy duo Poe and Finn will be back together again at last! I cannot wait for the new banter and shenanigans with these two

John Williams’ amazing final SW score

All the new costumes/hair styles (It’s very wishful thinking but I would low-key love if the characters changed costumes at Padmé's rate)

I know the sequel trilogy hasn’t had the largest scale of cityscape world-building, but ya never know!

I’m one of those people that fell in love with the Knights of Ren during that brief rainy flashback in TFA, so hopefully they make an appearance, after all what’s a ‘Master’ of Ren without those he masters?

I’m curious to see:

What kind of leader will Kylo be of the First Order? And how is his leadership in general is tracking, is it threatened (i.e. Hux)?

How will Finn and the rest of the Resistance react to Rey being a ‘Jedi’? in TFA everyone except Kylo (and the FO, I guess) were ignorant to the fact that Rey was Force Sensitive. Obviously the resistance noticed Rey force lifting rocks at the end of TLJ, so now they’re all in the loop. Will Finn think she’s ‘changed’? (This is specifically discussed by Finn and Rose in the TLJ novel actually)

Similarly, how will the resistance react to Rey being connection to Kylo, both emotionally and via the force? (They are undeniably connected now thanks to TLJ). How will they react if they ever find out about the Throne Room? ~This is so juicy to consider~

How romantic will Reylo actually be on screen? Will there be an epic kiss? (God, I hope so)

Will Leia survive this trilogy? Han and Luke haven’t, so there’s that...

Will we get the “return to mother” moment (re: reverse Anidala), of Kylo and Leia? If she doesn’t die, this seems like a no brainer

Will the Jedi teachings (the ancient texts) even be a big deal in IX? Luke wasn’t their biggest fan after all. What opinion will Rey take?

What role will Rose play within the resistance this time round? I think it’s going be more prominent; e.g. she’ll be at the decisions making table alongside Poe, Finn, and Leia

Will there be any tie-back to the ‘original’ chosen one, Anakin, to bring this story full circle? Anakin was supposed to ‘bring balance to the Force’ after-all (even though we know Ben and Rey are going to do this)

If the KoR are in IX, will they be Kylo’s blindly pledged allies, and then during his redemption journey will they turn into foes?

With Snoke, the ‘man behind the curtain’ puppeteer style villain being gone, does there need to be a new threat/villain? Is there room for that in the story this late in the game?

Will there be more Force Ghosts in IX, now that Yoda has set a precedent by appearing in TLJ?

If/when Rey and Ben team up again, how will this be possible this time round with Kylo being Supreme Leader of The First Order? Will he chose to leave the Order, or be forced to leave early on in the film?

With Rey and Ben united, will we see some new awesome powerful Force moments? Like how Leia rescued herself in TLJ, or how Kylo froze Poe’s blaster fire, or hell, how Force Ghost Yoda conducted lighting?!