#Lately it's been turning into ANOTHER meeting. On top of our usual meeting.

[ozzgin]

A nice character with a yandere split persona. The Yandere persona was born out of the abandonment of the character by a loved one, maybe mom. Did he kill her just so she could stay? Maybe. Only the Yandere persona knows, the character is oblivious, he just knows his mom left him. But he oddly feels ok about it as though the situation has been reconciled... which is weird to him.

Now he meets and falls in love with yn. She must not leave. It's f around and find out

Btw I love you ❤️❤️❤️ The Yokai series is my fave

Oooh, I’ve been thinking of a context for your idea and I somehow got stuck on a serial killer who is unaware of it most of the time. Since you mentioned abandonment and obsession, my mind wandered to some of the typical habits, such as collecting trophies. I’ve also been wanting to try my hand at writing a serial killer, so hopefully it turns out to your liking. (Sending back the love, always a pleasure to see your comments ❤)

Although let me include a little disclaimer, because I am aware many things in the sphere of true crime are problematic: this in no way glorifies or romanticizes serial killers. Just a reminder that this is a work of fiction and all behaviors displayed are for the sake of an interesting story, not to be admired in real life.

Yandere! Serial Killer x Reader

You're temporarily staying with a kind, quiet man renting out a room in the house he inherited. It's just the two of you, and a locked bedroom he claims to be vacant. Yet as night falls, you hear the whispered arguing of a voice you don't recognize. Is anyone else there?

[Part 2] | [More original works]

Content/TW: female reader, mentions of murder, obsessive behavior, horror

You must break the pattern today, or the loop with repeat tomorrow

He stares at the locked drawer of the bureau. The clock ticking in the background fades into an irritating buzz, drumming against his ears at irregular intervals like a swarm of insects. Once again, he cannot remember where the key is. Yet he does not feel compelled to search for it. It cannot be anything of significance, he tells himself. Forgotten knick-knacks, perhaps. Despite the apparent lack of curiosity, he is drawn here every morning. He wakes up, carefully folds the sheets, and goes to sit in the office. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Until, at last, the noon hour strikes, and the hallways are flooded with ghastly chimes.

Lately, however, other sounds have taken over the usual silence that envelops the house. The main door rattles faintly before opening with a creak.

“They were out of our bread rolls. I got a baguette instead.”

It’s you.

He stands up, as if startled from deep slumber, and hurries downstairs to greet you. He takes the grocery bags from your hands, flashing a smile of gratitude. Somehow, the idea of another person living here is still foreign to him. He’s gotten so used to the solitude, the quietness of the house. Time stands still when there’s no one else to remind you of it.

You glance up at the tall man, noticing his slight frown.

“Another brain fog?” You ask, worried.

“Don’t mind me. It’s a morning routine at this point”, he jokes. “More importantly, what would you like for breakfast?”

He always cooks for both of you. Initially, you were rather hesitant to go for his offer. You’d been looking for temporary accommodation and stumbled upon his advertisement. A cozy, vintage house the man had inherited from his lamentably departed mother, with one too many spare rooms. He had no need for all the space, he said in his description. You paid him a visit and were taken aback by his appearance. A massive, muscular frame that did not fit the rest of his mannerisms and features. He was soft-spoken, polite, and terribly shy. His eyes reflected the kind of gloom to be expected from anyone in his situation.

A sweet, gentle soul looking for company. On top of that, if you are to be technical, he’s a housemate difficult to compete against. Well-kept, mannered, organized, and thoughtful. He keeps to himself. You’d learned, soon after moving in, that he suffers from the occasional brain fog and memory loss. He goes for walks at odd hours to clear his mind. Enjoys reading in his office, although you’ve caught him just staring into space many times. Terribly inconvenient for the poor lad, you imagine.

The house itself is also not a bad deal by any means. Old fashioned, littered with trinkets and paintings. “My mother liked to collect many things”, he’d told you. It certainly has personality, to put it mildly. Some belongings are more bizarre than others: portraits of faceless people, with features smudged or distorted, doll heads in pompous, feathered collars hanging in clusters across the musty walls. Peculiar, but manageable.

Only at night does it become unsettling.

“Going for a walk?”

You’re curled in one of the armchairs, flipping through a magazine you found. It’s been hours since your little breakfast together and now the sun is beginning to set. The man is buttoning up his coat, standing in the doorframe and gazing at you with a smile.

“Yeah. I’m starting to detach a little. Maybe some fresh air will help.”

It’s nice, he thinks, having you here. He didn’t expect much when he ventured to rent out a room. He just wanted to hear the murmur of life again. Ever since his mother has passed…when did it happen, again? Better yet, how did it happen? Christ, he can’t remember. The last memory he has of her is not something to cherish. She was angrily shoving him out of the way, visibly annoyed by his cries and pleading. “Please don’t leave me”, he kept croaking in a pathetic tone, dragging his knees like a beggar. Then it’s all black. Black, like the cover they kept over her body at the morgue, to hide the mutilated remains. Black, like the tie he struggled to knot before her funeral. At that time, the sheets of her bed were still scattered, as if she never left. He could almost see her there, reflected onto the mirror’s surface – rather dirty as a matter of fact, he should wipe it soon – sitting melancholically on the edge of the mattress.

To think he’d be hearing footsteps again. A soothing voice. Even if it’s temporary, your presence in the house has been a blessing. Even if you must leave eventually. His lips purse involuntarily.

You hear the door close, followed by the key twisting inside the lock. You’re alone now.

With haste, you get up and sprint upstairs. You pull out a hairpin from your pocket and discreetly insert it in the cylinder. Today you find out if the spare bedroom truly is as vacant as your housemate claims.

When you first viewed the house, he mentioned that only this room will remain locked. It was his mother’s and he’d rather not look at it, he said. Let it gather dust, for all he cares.

Only at night, you’ve been hearing someone else’s voice. It didn’t happen immediately. Weeks after you’d moved in, you woke up thirsty and tiptoed on your way to the kitchen for a glass of water. On your return, you were surprised to see dim light coming from underneath the door of the forbidden bedroom. Visitors of your housemate? You hurried back into your bed, not wanting to intrude. But the following night you jolted up from the same mumbled voice. Strange that he’d invite someone over this late - twice in a row! - without saying a word to you. Even more, they were arguing like this. Curiosity got the better of you, so you snuck out and placed your cupped ear against the wall.

“No, no, no, no. I’m telling you, it’s different. She’s different from the others.” A deep, ragged voice retorted angrily.

Suddenly, there was a loud thud, a fist smashing against something, then glass shattering over exasperated, shouted curses. You ran back to your room, baffled. Who on Earth was there? You could feel your heart throbbing inside your chest.

Morning couldn’t come quick enough. You marched over to your housemate, demanding to know who this stranger was. He stared at you, wide eyed and incredulous. “There’s no one else here, dear. Just you and me.” Nonsense. You knew what you heard. You’d been wide awake! He gently placed the back of his hand against your forehead. “Could it be that you’re sick? Weather has been dreadful lately.” You scanned his face with hitched breath. Was he mocking you? Yet his features betrayed no such intent. The man seemed genuinely worried; face twisted in a caring frown.

Then what? A ghost? An intruder that fancied having a chat in a dead woman’s bedroom?

You fiddle with the pin until you hear the click. Finally. Surely whoever has been frequenting the place must’ve left some clues behind. You carefully open the door and peek inside. A broken mirror and some furniture covered in webs. There’s a lingering rusty smell that tickles your nostrils, and soon enough you find the source. Next to the old bed lays a cloth splattered red. On top of it, a leather folder from which scalpels and other surgical tools fell out haphazardly. Blood? Your mouth curls in disgust. You crouch to the floor to inspect the odd items and notice a jar glistening from underneath the bed. You pull it towards you and give it a rattle. Nothing heavy. You lift the jar into the light for a better look and gasp.

Fingernails.

“Oh, I forgot to put those away.”

It’s the same deep voice you’ve been hearing at night. Your stomach drops and you turn, slowly, towards the entrance. Horror is swiftly replaced by confusion once you realize it’s none other than your housemate.

“Y-you’re back from your walk?” You blurt out.

“Walk?” He inquires. “Ah, that’s what he told you.” He steps towards you and lowers himself to your level with a grin.

“Have you come to say hello?” He points towards the tall, shattered mirror. “This is (Y/N), mother. See, I told you she’s stunning. You didn’t believe me.”

He ruffles your hair with a boldness completely unfamiliar.

Nausea overwhelms you and your ears ring in panic. Whatever is happening right now is beyond your understanding.

“I’d like to go to my room now.”

“I recognize that speech all too well. You want to run away.”

Within seconds, he grabs one of the scalpels and points it towards your throat, poking your skin with its cold tip.

“Now, don’t embarrass me in front of her like that. Do you know how hard it is to convince this bitch of anything? I told her you’re not like them, (Y/N). Don’t prove me wrong.”

“Them?” You whisper, lungs devoid of air.

“Come, let’s put this with the others first.” He pockets the scalpel and lifts you up by the hand, tenderly kissing your fingers in the process. “Then we can talk.”

You follow him into the office, and he unlocks one of the desk drawers. Against your better judgment, you stretch over his shoulder and glance inside. ID cards of various women, jewelry, lipsticks. Teeth. Fingernails.

You want to cry.

He nonchalantly dumps the contents of the jar into the drawer and slams it back shut, then throws himself in the chair and pats his thigh, eyeing you. With a sob, you clumsily climb onto his lap.

“Back to our matters. What were you planning on doing?”

“I just wanted to lay in bed.”

He takes out the scalpel and draws a line across your cheek. It stings.

“Don’t lie, (Y/N). You have nothing to gain from being naughty with me.” He coos, placing a kiss over the fresh wound.

“I wanted to run away.” You confess, petrified.

“Good. Do you now understand what happens if you try to run away?”

You briefly look at the drawer and nod.

“I knew you would. You’re so smart.” He strokes your hair fondly. “Not an easy decision to make, mind you. I love you more than anything in this world. Who’d enjoy killing their one and only?”

The man ponders his next words with a hum.

“Don’t count on getting away while he’s awake, either.” He taps his temple and chuckles. “He has no idea and won’t stop you, but I can easily find you again.”

The eggs sizzle in the pan as you stare at your plate, background sounds melting into shapeless static. After a couple more minutes, the man turns off the stove and places the food on the table with a cheerful whistle.

“Eat up!” He encourages you.

You hold onto your fork with faintly trembling hands.

“This might be the last breakfast I cook for you, after all. You’re leaving tomorrow, aren’t you?” His last sentence trails off and he smiles, dejected.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could…stay here instead.”

He gazes at you in disbelief.

“Truly? I-…That’d be fantastic.” He laughs awkwardly and scratches the back of his head, a deep red blush spreading over his cheeks. “Do excuse my rudeness. To be honest with you, I’ve grown quite fond of our arrangement. I really do like having you here.”

You return the smile without responding.

“Most exciting news. I’ll get the documents from the office after we eat, so we can draft a new lease.”

“That’d be lovely”, you answer curtly.

“Say, have you by any chance stumbled upon a small key around the house? I wanted to finally unlock the drawer upstairs, but I can’t remember where I could’ve left it.”

The knot in your stomach tightens.

“Not at all.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’m sure it’s nothing important, anyways. Old memorabilia, most likely.”

[freakingholland]

“The way to a gal’s heart is through her stomach.” - Jason Todd x fem!reader

A/N: Beep boop another Jason imagine, enjoy cuties <3

Warnings: not proofread, slightly suggestive content, swear words

Summary: Jason Todd is not only a superhero, he’s also a master of tomato soups. (fluff, domestic theme, slightly suggestive content)

Word count: 850 +

If you enjoyed my work: Ko-fi.com/freakingholland

questions/requests/ideas here! - rules here

masterlist (needs a proper update)

my wattpad archive is here

my AO3 archive is here

-

“NOOO, no no no I GOT THIS, SIT DOWN MA’AM” Jay said, waving his hands dramatically as if he was trying to shoo you away from the kitchen.

“Don’t raise your voice at me fucker!” you said snorting with laughter.

“Yes, ma’am BUT SIT DOWN PLEASE-- I GOT THIS LOVE!” Jay tilted his head and waited for your reaction giving you an innocent look.

“PLEASE! I GOT THIS!”

“Okay! Okay I will…” you said with your hands up, slowly turning away from your boyfriend. You were standing in the kitchen. You just got back home from work and were about to start making dinner for the both of you. However, Jason had other plans and was making sure that you wouldn’t lift your finger.

“Soooo, what do we have on the menu chef Todd?” Jason smirked as he saw you folding your arms over your chest and leaning against the counter. He reached for an apron that was hanging near the stove.

His triceps rounded as he moved his hands behind his back to tie it on himself. They were pretty tightly squeezed by a short sleeve of his t-shirt. You were wondering whether he was purposefully flexing just to make you feel a certain way.

“I was thinking of a baked tomato soup. But-- I shall gladly fulfill my significant other’s…” he prolonged.

“-dining desires…as­-- it’s my personal wish to suffice her stomach.” His words made you shake your head with a growing smile. God. This guy’s eloquence is truly admirable. So is his charm. And his warmth despite the hardships that life had thrown at him.

“Sounds good.”

“You sure?”

“Yep.”

“Sweet. Tomato soup it is.”

“How was work?” he continued.

“Could have been better honestly.  Collins had a problem again and decided to throw a fit at the end of the shift. Called in a meeting last minute just to scream his ass of for 20 minutes-- AS IF we could change anything.”

“Monica was late to pick up her son from preschool because of the asshole.” You continued your rant.

“Yeah, Collins has a knack for ruining everyone’s day,” Jay said, shaking his head as he rinsed his hands.

“It’s like the guy feeds off stress.”

“Exactly! And the worst part is, it’s not just me. Everyone’s been feeling it. EVEN Monica, who’s usually so calm, was on the verge of tears today. It’s just not fair.”

“Did she call you?” He asked.

“She texted me when I was entering our building.”

He shook his head no sympathizing with your work story.

“Ugh, I hate that for her. And for you,” Jay said, turning to face you. “You don’t deserve to deal with that crap every day.”

“Thanks,” you replied with a tired smile. “It’s just frustrating. I mean, we’re all trying our best, but Collins seems to think yelling at us is some sort of solution.”

“Man, I don’t know what to say��� asshole’s pissing me off.” He licked his lips.

“And how is Jared doing?” Jay continued wanting to change the topic.

“He’s alright as far as I know.” You bit your lower lip.

“You know what? I actually thought about inviting them for dinner some time.” You said shyly.

Jay, still focused on the cutting board, looked up, noticing the slight hesitation in your tone.

“Why are you shying away like that?” he asked, with curiosity and concern in his voice as he turned to face you, pausing his chopping.

“Well, I wanna know-- if you’d have the energy and will to have guests over on your night off…?”

Jay walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He stepped away from the counters to kiss the top of your head as you were mentally supporting him in his cooking, watching from the tall bar stool.

“We can totally think about it, don’t worry about my energy.”

“I—Well I-- just didn’t want to overwhelm you--, you know? I know how hard you’ve been working lately, and I didn’t want to add more to your plate.”

Jay smiled, his eyes full of that familiar warmth that always made you feel at ease.

“I get it, and I really appreciate you looking out for me like that.”

“But honestly-- having them over might be just what we need. A break from the usual, a chance to relax, catch up with some good friends, and just enjoy each other’s company. It could be a lot of fun.” He continued.

„Plus, it would be a great opportunity to show off my cooking skills.” He said with a cheeky smile plastered across his face.

“Yeeeaah right…”

“Yeah right what?” Jay looked over his shoulder, pretending to be offended.

“’Kay hear me out-- how about we make a deal? If I can whip up the best tomato soup you’ve ever had, you have to admit I’m the better cook.”

“And if it’s-- just, okay?” you teased, biting your lower lip playfully. Jay leaned in closer, his voice deepened.

“Then maybe I’ll have to find another way to prove I’m the best at… handling things.”

“I like your confidence, Todd.”

“And I—like you Y/L/N.”

-

Stay whelmed xx

Tori

[lunajay33]

It’s You❤️‍🔥 Part.2

Summary: You went along with Bella to Italy to save Edward, but when you get there things go unexpectedly and you become mate to the strongest Volturi guard

Pairing: Felix x human female reader

Warning: Mention of blood, bit of angst

Part.1

•Masterlist•

It’s been a week since I’ve been living in the Volturi castle in Italy, for the first few days I stayed in my room that I shared with Felix, the bed was mainly mine since he doesn’t sleep but sometimes I craved for his touch at night to help calm me to sleep

It was late at night and I was ready for bed, Heidi was another vampire I grew close to, she was easy to talk too and made me feel at home, she even went out shopping and bought me a much of new clothes, including the silk deep red night dress I was wearing right now as I was cuddled alone in the bed I so desperately want Felix in but alas he had guard duty

Finishing my book I laid it aside when the doors open revealing the one vampire I was missing, I could feel my heart quicken and my smile brighten as he walked towards me

“You’re back! I missed you” I said jumping in his lap as he sat on the bed, his strong arms quick to tighten around my waist

“Oh how I missed you too amore, what a sexy dress and my favorite color too, such a tempterous” he said as his eyes roamed my body his hands squeezing my hips

“Heidi picked it out, I was hoping you’d like it” I said placing my hands on his hips

“Oh amore I don’t like it I adore it, I adore you” he said nuzzling his nose into my neck, he had admitted that he loved doing this because I was warm and he craved my scent

“I was wondering….i mean only if you want to of course….would you maybe stay with me in the bed tonight? I know you don’t sleep but I want to feel you next to me while I sleep” he raised his head and smiled gently

“I’d be honoured” in a flash he changed out of his daily work clothes into a pair of grey sweatpants and a slim fitted black long sleeve top, his form showing beautifully in this attire compared to the jacket he usually had on, only making me crave him more

Climbing into bed next to me I curled into his side flaring my legs over his lap as my head rested on his arm, his other hand come to rest on my hip, he was hard and cold but god did it feel right

“Sleep my little one, you need your rest”

“You’ll stay right?”

“All night, I’ll be here when you wake” and slowly I drifted off into the best sleep I’ve had since being here

I woke up finally feeling relaxed looking up to see Felix was still holding me with a book in his other hand

“Good morning handsome!” I smiled as I sat up rubbing my eyes

“Morning amore, sleep well? You were talking in your sleep a lot” he smirked

“Oh no what did I say?” Nervously fiddling with my fingers not remembering anything I might have dreamed about

“Nothing crazy just mumbling my name a lot, were you dreaming of my little one?” He asked as he grazed his hand over my exposed thigh

“Umm I don’t remember….oh god this is so embarrassing” I groaned trying to look anywhere but his piercing ruby eyes

“Don’t be I quite enjoyed it, even though I love being with you darling I have to get to the throne room for the day” he said as he stood up and walked over to our shared wardrobe and I watched as he stripped out of his clothes leaving him in a pair of black boxers, his back was muscular and strong, his legs like tree trunks and when he turned his abs had me weak

“Like what you see darling?” He laughed as he pulled on his work clothes

“Was your body sculpted by the gods wow” my mouth agape from awe

He finished getting ready then was kneeling infront of me at the side of the bed

“I’ll see you this evening, I have something special planned, wear something nice and meet me in the gardens amore” he smiled placing a gentle kiss to my hair line before he was gone

Times like this made me feel incredibly self conscious, he was beautiful not a single flaw and I was just a human, my hair had bust offs, my skin wasn’t spot less like marble as his was, my body wasn’t extremely toned like his, what did he see in me?

Grudgingly I dragged myself out of bed and pulled on a pair of casual leggings and hoodie for now, putting my hair into a ponytail and leaving the room in hopes to find Heidi

Thankfully it wasn’t hard finding her in the library as she was sat on a leather couch flipping through a fashion magazine, she quickly looked my way as I head towards her, plopping myself down on the couch beside her

“Y/n! Is everything okay you’re looking a bit down hun” she said as she placed her magazine to the side giving me her full attention

“I’ve just been insecure I guess, I may or may not have seen Felix’s body this morning and he’s just so perfect I mean how does he not have girls hanging off of him and he gets saddled with me, I know we’re mates but I feel like he’ll get bored of me and realize he can have so much better” I said as my face flushed and I could feel the tears well in my eyes

“Oh hun don’t think like that, trust me he adores you, you should hear the way he fawns over when he’s talking with Demetri, he thinks the world of you, he worships the ground you walk on just give it time everything will itself out”

“Thanks Heidi I appreciate it, hey Felix said he had something special planned tonight and said I had to dress nice, and seeing as you’re an expert in everything fashion wanna help me get ready” I asked hoping to cheer the mood and distract myself

“Omg I’ve been waiting for this day! Let’s go!”

Heidi did one last curl in my hair and we were finally done, she had me all dolled up like I was going to a ball

“How do you like it?!” She asked looking at me through the mirror

“I love it thank you so much! I feel like a princess” my dress was a deep grey covered in sparkles stopping at my mid thigh, a black lace cover over my shoulders, my makeup subtle but classy with sparkles on my eyes

“Because you are a princess, now it’s about time Felix will be getting off now go make his jaw drop” she smiled pushing me towards the door

I made my way through the long winding hallways, pushing open the back door finally feeling the fresh night air, the garden glowing with the little decorations the Volturi members each added, suddenly a gush of wind whipped by me, I smiled turning around hoping to see Felix but was faced with someone I wasn’t formally acquainted with, I’ve seen him around sometimes but he was usually lurking in the shadows giving me an unsettled feeling thankfully I was always with Felix but now that I’m alone I felt fear, complete fear as his eyes roamed every inch of me

“Why don’t you look exquisite, and here all alone what a treat” his smirk widening from ear to ear

“Felix is gonna be here any minute you better leave” I said anxiously as I stepped back

“Well I better hurry then” in an instant he was on me pushing my hard to the ground knocking the wind out of me, I tried to push him away but it was no use and I could feel my life flash before my eyes, this isn’t how I wanted to go I didn’t wanna go at all I only just found my soulmate, life was just starting and the only thing I could think of to hopefully save me was scream

“FELIX HELP ME” the scream i let out was desperate and blood curdling but i was too late as pain seared through my shoulder, his death dug deep into my flesh, i could feel my blood run down my back

Almost just as quickly as he latched on he was ripped away, by who I don’t know because the venomous pain coursing through my shoulder was distracting, excruciating, soon Felix was leaning over me panic written all over his face, Demetri on my other side

“FELIX IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP” I screamed again

“You can do it Felix, she’s not ready yet” Felix looked conflicted before he huffed a breathe he didn’t have and sunk his teeth into the previous wound sucking out the venom as soon as that scorching pain subsided I became weak as Felix clung to me

“Felix she’s clean, you’re taking too much” with a snap he was off me, my blood dripping down his face, scared, worried

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you mio amore, I should have been here” he said as he laid my head on his lap

“You saved me Felix, this wasn’t your fault…….I…I love you” I said weakly before I faded into unconsciousness

Waking up the light beaming through the window bothering my eyes, quickly shielding them as the bed dipped beside me

“Thank god you’re awake, I was so worried Angel” I turned seeing Felix, his skin paler than usual, eyes as black as coal which ive never seen before

I raised my hands tracing my fingers over his cool cheek

“Are you okay? You look sick if that’s possible”

“You’ve been out for 2 days I couldn’t leave your side, I haven’t been feeding I just needed to be with you” he smiled pushing my hair back

“I’m okay, a little sore but I’m fine because of you, you still need to take care of yourself too tho my love” he nuzzled into my hand which warmed by heart

“I wish the night went differently I had so much planned for us” he said as he climbed into the bed next to me so I could cuddle into him, everything felt right again

“I had a whole picnic for us, well you mostly, the moon was gonna be illuminating us and I know you love that, then I was gonna present you with a gift I have had with me since I found out about mates millennia ago” my heart pumped with excitement I sat up to look at him

“You have a gift for me!”

“Yes amore here I’ve held onto it long enough, now it’s with the one I got it for” he said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a long thin box

He opened it to reveal a gorgeous bracelet, one you’d never be able to find even in the last 100 years, a unique gold chain with added gold tiny flowers along the chain and at the center a ruby crystal surrounded by more flowers

“Felix it’s beautiful, I love it! Would you help me putting it on?” I asked as I gave him my wrist which he was quick to place the bracelet around

“It’s beautiful on you amore, it was made for you” he smiled as he placed a kiss to my hand like a gentleman

“I love you Felix”

“I love you more than you could ever know little one”

Taglist: @rosaliedepp @parabatai-winchester

[leclercsluvs]

LN4 | Our Forever Moment

an: i still don't really know how much i like to make written fics, but i have ideas for them so i'm going to continue to try and write them, i think. my first language is NOT english, so sorry if there's any mistakes <3 pairing: lando norris x fem!reader, vasseur!reader (this is gonna be fun, lowkey not important, gets mentioned like a few times because i forgot) warnings: swearing (like twice) inspired by: mine - taylor swift word count: 6.2k

As she’s being dragged to another race, she wonders when her dad is going to realize she's always running off and never in the garage of his own team, she doesn’t know that he’s fully aware she’s never there. She’s been welcomed by everyone she’s visited though, which does make him happy. She mostly goes to Mercedes and Red Bull, but lately Mclaren has been looking quite interesting. 

“Are you going to stay in the Ferrari garage today? Or am I gonna have to send someone over to Red Bull or Mercedes to find you?" Fred looks at yn with a playful smile.

“I didn’t think you noticed.” She's quite shocked. He always seemed to switch off being a dad whenever they stepped into the garage, so it never even occurred to her that he even wanted her there.

“Who do you think sends someone after you at the end of the day?” He turns back around as they get closer, “I think you, Charles and Carlos would be great friends if you gave them a chance,” they turn and walk into the Ferrari hospitality. “Oh speaking of boys, have you found a boyfriend I need to approve of?” He quickly looks back to see her surprised face before he turns back to see where he’s going, even though he could probably navigate it blindfolded.

“Well first of all, you wouldn’t need to approve of him, this isn’t the middle age,” yn lets out a small laugh, “and second, all of my relationships have failed, you’re partly to blame for pulling me to almost every race, and then I guess I’m just not girlfriend material.” She follows her dad around, because even if she does get pulled to all races, she usually doesn't hang out here for more than 5 minutes before she’s off to find Max or George. 

“Chérie, anyone not willing to spend the short time you're home isn’t worth your time,” he stops in his track turns around and puts a hand on her shoulder, “and I’m not sure if I ever said it, but if you truly would prefer to stay home and only travel to a few, that is fine. I would understand.”

She gives him a reassuring smile, “I know. You wouldn’t have been able to drag me out of the house if I didn't truly want to be here.”

He gives one quick smile before continuing walking, and before she knows it, she’s left to herself because he’s needed for something important.

~~~

It doesn’t take long for Charles to spot yn, sitting by herself, because apparently everyone else is busy today. “Yn? what are you doing here? I thought you’d be off doing something with Max?” Charles looks around to see if Max is around and he just hadn't seen him, but it’s a lost cause, which he should have realized, Max wouldn’t be seen anywhere near anything related to Ferrari. Except for Charles of course.

“No he’s busy. Everyone suddenly got busy.” She looks back down at her phone and the messages between her and her friend, however it would be rude to text back while Charles is in front of her, so she turns it off and stuffs it in her pocket. “I don't really remember the last time everyone, well except for you I guess, was busy at the same time.” 

“Well, I’m meeting Lando and Oscar for lunch, do you want to join us?” Charles asks with a smile, flashing some cute dimples. Not that anything could ever happen between the two. As attractive as Charles may be, her dad was his boss, and nothing good was going to come out of that. 

“I think I’d like that,” she smiles back as she picks up her bag with her essentials, “it’s nothing fancy right? I didn’t really get dressed for something over the top.” She looks down at the ripped jeans and the oversized t-shirt that she’s wearing. Not exactly the cutest outfit.

~~~

“So you still live with your dad?” Oscar asks curiously, they all seemed fairly happy she was invited by Charles. And Oscar, who she hadn’t really spent any time with, has been asking a lot of questions. 

“I do. I may be 21, but living at home is just a little easier. And I like spending time with my dad, even if I run off to other teams at the first chance I get.” She answers as she takes another bite of her food. Lando has been awfully quiet and it didn’t go over yn’s head. She was fully aware of how glued his eyes were to his food. 

“Is it weird? That your dad is responsible for a Formula 1 team?” Oscar almost forgets to eat, because of all the questions he’s asking.

“It was in the beginning, but I've gotten used to it by now,” she takes a sip of water. “Is he always this quiet?” yn looks at the way Lando is poking his food “and is he always just poking his food?” She questions, making Lando's eyes move up for just a split second and then back down to his food.

“No. He’s usually pretty chatty, maybe he’s just nervous for tomorrow," Oscar says, finally eating some of his food. “He doesn’t usually get like this before a race though,” Oscar leans his head a little to the side as if thinking about it, before poking a finger in Lando’s side making him jump a little. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” Oscar asks.

“Maybe he’s got a new crush,” Charles jokes, taking a bite of food just as Lando suddenly coughs and gulps down water.

“Are you okay?” Yn asks as Lando suddenly gets up from his chair avoiding any and all eye contact.

“No, I’m actually not feeling so great. I think I’ll have to cut this short if I want to be good to go by tomorrow.” He quickly gathers his things as everyone looks confused. “Bye!” And then he’s out of there.

“Well that was weird.” Oscar says as he goes back to eating

“Do you think it was me?” Yn looks at the rest of the men sitting around the table, a little sad that she may have ruined their lunch.

Charles smiles. “Yes,” he says, looking at yn, “but in a good way. I think I might be right, even if it was just a joke.” He lets out a laugh. “I’m sure there’s some truth to it.” He goes back to eating, and so does yn, deciding that maybe she’ll talk to Lando in private.

~~~

On his way back to the hotel, Lando struggles to figure out his emotions. Of course yn is absolutely gorgeous. But considering she’s Fred's daughter he wouldn’t dare to think of her as anything but a friend. He may not race for Ferrari, but he still has a lot of respect for the man. And Lando knows about his reputation of not being able to keep his relationships going for long. Hopefully he can just subtly ignore her. Because the feelings, and thoughts he had during that lunch were not friendly. And before he even considers anything, he needs to make sure his feelings for her are romantic, and not just him finding her pretty.

~~~

Lando spent close to 4 months avoiding yn to the best of his abilities, and when he wasn’t ready and she caught him off guard he made up some weird excuse about needing to look at data, test the car, try some new Mclaren merch for photoshoots. Yn usually knew they were lies, and wondered why Lando was so set on avoiding her. To be quite honest, it brought down her mood, and she spent more and more time in the Ferrari garage and hospitality. Her dad sensed something was wrong. She was rarely there and suddenly she never left? Something was going on and he was going to get the bottom of it. 

“I see you’re spending time here today,” Fred sat across from yn. She was eating lunch. Alone. That was how she spent most of her time lately. All alone. Lando had unknowingly made her really anti-social.

“I guess.” She poked a little at the salad she had bought. She didn’t really want it anymore. 

“Did the others have plans?” Fred asks, looking around.

“I’m not sure.”

“Is something bothering you?” Fred asked, concerned for her daughter who used to have a lot to talk about. A lot of people to talk to, and who never spent time at lunch alone in Ferrari.

“Nope.” Fred sighed. He wasn’t going to get any answers. If it was because she genuinely just didn’t feel like talking today or if there was something wrong, he wasn’t sure. But he was gonna ask Max, or maybe Lewis to talk to her. He didn’t want her to be lonely. He got up from his chair. He had to get this started immediately. 

Fred’s quest to find Lewis was surprisingly easy. He found the soon-to-be Ferrari driver hanging out with Charles and Carlos near their own garage. “Lewis! Can we talk?” Fred called out before he reached them. Lewis just nodded and started walking towards Fred.

“Is it about my contract?” Lewis asked cautiously. He knew he hadn’t been performing that great in the Mercedes this year and was afraid Fred was going to only make it a year so he could be finished with him.

“No. I need you to talk to yn. She's suddenly spending a lot of time with Ferrari, but alone. Which, as you may know, isn’t where, or how, she usually spends her time.'' Fred looks really concerned, and it’s like it’s transferred to Lewis immediately. He’s known yn ever since her dad started dragging her along. She would usually spend time with George when she went to Mercedes, but sometimes when George wasn’t there and she just wanted to be somewhere else, Lewis and yn would play some games. Usually chess. Lewis was definitely better than yn but she still loved it. They could often lose track of time and suddenly one from the Mercedes team would come and get Lewis to either do some media related stuff or because it was time to get ready for a race.

“Of course! Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her around Mercedes for quite some time now. I’ll see what I can do, if I can't figure it out, I'll have Max ask her. They’ve always had quite a special bond I don't understand” Lewis gives the man a reassuring smile and a clap on the shoulder “Don’t worry, we’ll get her back to her talkative self very soon.”

“Thanks Lewis,” Fred looks relieved, but only for a second when his eyes widen. “Do you think Max did something to her? To make her feel this way?” He looks around as if he's scanning the surroundings for Max. And good thing he isn’t around. It wouldn’t have been a good outcome.

“I doubt it. He’s always been nice. Especially to her,” when he realizes how that may sound to the man in front of him and the way his eyes narrow, he quickly adds “as a friend. Not romantically. I’m pretty sure he’s actually in a relationship.” Fred seems to almost relax at those words and gives Lewis a quick pat on the shoulder

“Hurry up and get my daughter back. I miss her.” and with that he walks off. Hopefully not to find Max. And if so, Lewis sure is glad he isn’t Max right now.

~~~

When Lewis finally finds yn sitting just on the outside of the track he’s surprised she was allowed. But then again she probably just mentioned being Fred's daughter and she was allowed. “Hey there. Looking cozy. Mind if I join you?” He doesn’t wait for a response, just sits down next to her on the grass.

“What do you want?” She asks. Not really feeling the company right now.

“You haven’t been spending much time with George lately. Have you been spending more time with Max?”

“No.” Straight to the point. But not really the point Lewis was looking for.

“Have you been spending time with Charles and Carlos? Since you’re spending so much time with Ferrari at the moment?”

“Would that be a crime?” She looks at Lewis, and he sees something different. Her eyes don't look as alive as they usually do. They’re missing the glow that makes yn herself.

“Yn, is something wrong? You know you can talk to me. Or Max,” he waits for a second, not sure if he should continue, but as she starts plucking at the grass without answering he decides she needs to know. “Your dad is worried about you.”

“Oh.” She answers, plucking a few more grass straws

“Did something happen?” Lewis asks, trying a different approach.

“I don't know. Maybe you should ask Lando.” Lewis is unsure what Lando has to do with this entire situation, but he promised Fred to get to the bottom of it, so he will.

“Did he do anything?” Lewis is ready to fight Lando. “If so, I’ll gladly talk to him”

“Well, maybe he’ll talk to you,” yn shrugs and gets up from the grass. “I have no idea what I did to him. He seemed happy enough about me being invited to join him, Oscar, and Charles for lunch a couple months ago, and then during lunch he was so quiet, barely looking up from his food and then he suddenly said he wasn’t feeling great and needed to leave.” Yn turns around and looks at Lewis, tears starting to form in her eyes. “He has ignored me ever since. Every time I’ve tried to talk to him he either runs away or makes up some dumb excuse to get away from me,” she wraps her arms around herself as if to protect herself. “I’m sorry,” she says, shakes her head and turns around again and starts walking away. “I shouldn't have put all of this on you. I'm probably just overthinking it anyway.”

"Wait!" Lewis is quick to get up from the grass and gets a hold of yn’s arm, ”I’m glad you told me. Let me talk to Lando. See if I can figure out why he’s avoiding you. Maybe there’s a reason,” yn smiles a small smile, but it’s better than the empty expressions she's had lately. “Nice to see you’re still capable of smiling.” Lewis returns it with a smile of his own and guides her towards the Mclaren hospitality. “Now let’s get to the bottom of this.”

“Thank you. Not just for this, but also for always putting up with my bullshit.” Yn looks straight ahead. She wasn’t exactly planning on saying any of that, but oh well. It won’t hurt anyone. 

Lewis just laughs and pushes her lightly. “You should be grateful. It's impossible to keep putting up with it.” If he wasn’t laughing while saying it, she would have been hurt, but she just laughs with him and follows him, to hopefully get some answers from Lando.

~~~

Lando was not expecting to see Lewis, so he wasn’t able to run off as quickly as he usually does, and when he spots yn behind Lewis, he tries to make up some excuse about having to talk to an engineer about a possible car problem but Lewis stops him. “Lando. That’s enough.” He puts a hand on Lando's shoulder before he gets a chance to run off. “Why do you keep running away from yn?”

Lando sighs, he can’t run away from it anymore. “I kinda would prefer for this conversation to happen between just me and yn.” He runs a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. 

Lewis looks back at yn, then at Lando, then back at yn, “are you fine with that?” He asks, while she nods and follows Lando into his drivers room

“So.” Lando starts, not really sure how to get the conversation going.

“Why have you been ignoring me for the past 4 months?” Yn asks, wanting to get this solved as soon as possible. “Did I say something that upset you so much during lunch that day?” Yn can feel the tears threatening to spill over, but she would like to get through this conversation without crying.

“No! Oh my god. Not at all!” He turns around because he’s not sure he can look at her while telling her this. “I think I might, sort of, have feelings for you.” The room is filled with silence. Lando is almost afraid she ran out of the room, If it wasn't for the fact he could hear her breathing. 

“So you decided the best action was to avoid me?” Yn asks, with a playful grin. If she had known this was all it was she would have had someone talk to him earlier. 

Her playful tone makes Lando turn around with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored you or run off every time you tried talking to me. I was just afraid I would end up spilling a full love confession, and I’m not sure your dad would be too happy with that.”

“Well he doesn’t get a say in my love life.” Yn closes the distance between her and Lando. 

“I suppose you’re right.” Lando takes a step forward, making the distance between them smaller.

“So are you going to be doing anything about it?” Yn tilts her head slightly.

“When I have planned it,” Lando smiles and takes a step back as he feels a vibration in his pocket. “Damn, I actually do have to go now,” a text from his engineer asking him to come back for a meeting. Lando grins and walks towards the door, “but you're totally free to stay here until I’m back. And trust me, I’ll be spending the entire meeting planning the perfect way to ask you out.” He flashes a quick smile before he's out of the door and yn is left alone in the room. But this time being all alone is different. She doesn't feel all alone. She’s the happiest she’s been in four months.

~~~

“I have the perfect plan.” Lando and Oscar are doing a track walk just to have something to do and make sure the track is fresh in their memory for the practice the next day. 

“Yeah?” Oscar isn’t really sure it’s going to be as perfect as Lando thinks it is. “Are you totally sure about that?” He questions, raising an eyebrow, while taking in the surroundings of Monaco.

“I’m 100% sure.” Lando nods. He knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s in fact not going to ask directly. He’s made a fun little game, and got a few drivers in on it. “Just promise me to not ruin it when she comes to you.” Oscar sighs. He obviously isn’t going to spoil it.

“How are you going to ask her? If you aren’t doing it directly.”

“That’s a surprise.” And no matter how much Oscar pushes, Lando doesn't tell. Just smiles and shakes his head.

The next day when yn arrives at the paddock Alex greets her as soon as she’s arrived. “For you.” He says and hands her a letter.

“For me?” Her face is full of confusion as she opens the letter. 

“Dear yn, I’ve made a little scavenger hunt for you. I hope you’re going to have fun. At the end you’ll find a surprise. Here’s the first clue.”

That’s the end of the letter. “So what's the clue?” If anything she's even more confused now, it doesn’t even say who it's from. It could be from George. But she doubts it. He’s never done anything like this before.

“Oh right, I almost forgot,” Alex rushes and pulls a small lego car from his backpack. more specifically a Mclaren lego car.

“So I'm guessing I have to go to Mclaren?” She questions and looks at Alex who just shrugs. So that’s where she heads to next. Who knows how long this is going to last. She does think it’s going to be fun though. She’s always loved clues.

As she gets closer to the Mclaren garage she finds Oscar standing looking around holding a letter in his hand. As he notices her, he walks towards her. “Here. From a mystery man.” He says, hands her the letter and walks off trying to look mysterious.

Yn laughs and opens the letter. This time, there’s no text. Just a card. “Happy fathers day.” She reads out loud. That’s all the card says. “I guess that means i’ll have to go to my dad?” She wonders out loud. Would this person involve her dad? Would her dad want to be involved? “Hm, probably just ferrari.” She says as she notices the card is mostly red.

She walks over to the Ferrari garage but can't find anything and decides it might be at the hospitality. As she enters the building she notices Carlos standing with a smile on his face and a whistle in his hands. “Here you go.” He hands her the whistle as she reaches him. 

“That's it? Not a letter? Anything to guide me more than-'' she looks down at the whistle now in her hand, “a whistle?” She looks back up at Carlos who looks around.

“Consider the first letter of the whistle.” He whispers and quickly walks off, whistling. 

“The first letter of whistle is w. So..” she thinks for a second. “Williams?” She laughs and quickly walks over to the Williams hospitality, but to her surprise finds no one, and decides it must be their garage then.

Here she finds Logan happily holding a small boat toy. “For you.” He says and hands it to her. Happy to be included. She smiles and wonders if this is the last one.

“Thank you, Logan.” She sends him a smile and walks to the dock to find a boat. Not really sure which type of boat, big or small. But she’s determined to find it. 

When she gets to the dock, she fears it’s going to take a long time, until she spots Charles casually sitting on a yacht. As she approaches she notices a full basket of red bulls sitting beside him. “I guess I’m going back to the track. To Red Bull. Their garage?” She is sure to get those 10k steps she’s supposed to get every day. 

“Yeah, if you want something to drink on your walk, I have plenty,” he pushes the basked towards yn and gestures for her to bring it, “in fact, let me join you on the way back, I was only sent here to give you the clue, and I don't drink Red Bull, so I can return it.” He smiles and gets up, taking the basket full of cans. “Are you having fun so far?” Charles starts walking back towards the track with yn following.

“Yeah. It’s a lot of fun,” she answers as she opens a can of the regular Red Bull, "I'm excited to see who set all of this up though” she looks ahead and takes a sip of the can.

“I can’t wait for you to see who arranged it,” he says. And that’s all he says. Yn tries to get more clues about who it is, but Charles’ mouth is shut. He’s not letting anything slip. And they arrive at Red Bull way earlier than yn was expecting so she doesn't get nearly enough time to interrogate Charles about who it is. 

“I see you’ve come to terms with the fact Red Bull is the best.” Max teases as Charles and yn are within hearing range of a normal voice. While holding a bouquet of flowers?

“Ha ha ha,” Charles smiles, as he hands Max the basket full of red bull cans, “I’m just keeping yn company, and decided to return these as I won’t be able to drink them.” Charles laughs and gets into a conversation with Max until yn clears her throat, reminding them she’s still there.

“I’m looking for a clue,” she says, begging that it's close to being over because she’s tired of walking from one side of the track to another over and over.

“Oh right,” Max hands her the bouquet of flowers he was holding. She takes them in her hand and her eyebrows furrow.

“What kind of clue is this?” She looks at Max whose eyes go wide.

“I forgot this.” He pulls a letter out from his pocket and hands it to her.

“Another letter. Is this the last one? I don't know how much more walking I can do.” She looks so defeated but reads the note.

“If you received this letter, that means you figured out all the clues. I know you were just there, but you can find me on Charles’ yacht. Where the big surprise is waiting.”

She looks up as she finishes reading. “He’s got to be kidding. I swear to fucking god, if this is George and he just made me walk from that yacht, back to the track and then back to that stupid yacht i’m going to go insane.” You look back at the letter. 

“My yacht isn’t stupid.” Charles pouts as Max hits him on the arm. “Ow?”

Yn sighs, “I guess I’ll get going. Thanks for the flowers I suppose.” 

“Oh they were not from me. They were from him. Just hurry up,” Max looks down at his phone, “practice starts kinda soon, and he can’t be late.” Yn starts walking back towards the yacht. She can't wait to kill the man that made her walk this much.

Lando however has been setting everything up ever since yn and Charles left. Strawberries covered in chocolate, and since he doesn't like chocolate, strawberries without chocolate, candles on a small table on the sun deck. As yn gets closer, Lando walks down to greet her. “I swear to fucking god George if this is yo-” her sentence gets cut short as soon as she sees Lando. “You set all of this up?”

“Yeah. You didn’t seem to like it that much?” Lando rubs the back of his neck. He wasn’t the best planner of a scavenger hunt.

“I kinda wasn’t the biggest fan of walking all the way out here, back to the track and then back here again.” She crosses her arms, but seeing the concerned look on Lando’s face she relaxes her arms and walks onto the yacht with a huge smile. “It was still kinda fun.” 

They spend a little while on the boat, sitting with their feet almost touching the ocean. Lando is not really sure if he should put an arm around her or not. He decides not to move too quickly and they just sit next to each other. “Oh I almost forgot,” she turns and looks at Lando. “I was supposed to tell you to hurry up, practice starts soon and you can’t be late,” she looks down at the strawberries, “but you distracted me.”

“Oh shit!” He gets up quickly and puts his shoes on, “meet me at the track! I would love to spend some time with you between practice 1 and 2!” He hurries up and practically runs all the way to the track.

~~~

For the next couple of weeks Lando spends a lot of time wondering how quickly to move forward. They spend a lot of time sitting near water, almost like the first time, except they don't have access to Charles' yacht every day. Every time Lando wonders if he should put an arm around her, but he never does. Until one day, when they’ve been sitting at the end of the gangway on the dock, their feet so close to the water, if they stretched them out their toes would be dipped in the water, and Lando’s arm comes closer and closer to making its way around yn. “Just do it already,” she says and leans on him, putting her head on his shoulder, “I've been waiting for the last many weeks for you to do it.” Lando can’t help but let out a small laugh and put his arm around her. 

“I wasn’t sure if you even wanted it.” He looks down at her quickly before looking back at the water. 

“I've been waiting for you to make some sort of move, so I knew if it would be appropriate to do this.” She says, as she sits back up straight and puts her hands on Lando’s cheeks and pulls his face closer. He puts his hands on her waist and pulls her closer while making sure none of them fall into the water. Her lips meet his softly, a tentative brush that sends a wave of electricity through her body. The kiss deepened, growing in confidence, and everything else faded away. All that existed was the two of them.

When they finally break apart, Lando puts his forehead against hers, a smile stuck on his face. He would never be able to forget this moment, and she wouldn’t either. “I’ve dreamed of this moment ever since that time Charles invited you to lunch.” Lando shares, not aware that yn has shared the same feeling since he shared that he had feelings for her.

“I was sure you’d do something about it sooner.” Yn lets out a small laugh and leans against Lando’s shoulder as he puts his arm around her.

“I was too afraid you didn't want to,” he says and lets out a sigh. “And I guess I just never thought to just ask.” 

“Well, you should have.” She smiles, before looking up at him, and he can’t help but smile back. They sit like that for a while. Just enjoying each other's company.

~~~

A couple weeks later, when they’re lying on the couch in Lando’s apartment, watching a movie, yn can’t help but smile, thinking about this moment, and how she never thought this would be a reality in her life. “Can you believe it?” She says in a soft whisper, her voice barely even audible.

“Believe what?” Lando asks, while his other hand mindlessly runs through the soft strands of her hair.

“This. Us. I never thought I’d be in such a happy relationship while traveling so much.” She says, softly tracing small circles on the back of his hand, that’s draped across her waist.

“Well I’m glad you're happy,” He says, placing a kiss on the top of her head, earning a soft hum from the woman. “You know, you could bring some stuff here. Just enough for a drawer if you don’t want to get too serious.” He mumbles, nuzzling his head into the crook of her neck.

She can’t help but smile, because she had been thinking of asking. “That would be nice, especially considering how much time I spend here.” She brings his hand up to her lips and places a soft kiss there, before going back to the movie.

~~~

It didn't take long for her to basically move in. It wasn’t official, but it might as well have been. She spent more time there than she did at her own home. But Lando didn’t mind. In fact, he loved having her there. They even started spending time together publicly, whether that was around Monaco when it wasn’t a race week, or if it was in the paddock. The fans had noticed how close they had gotten, and speculation quickly began. Were they a couple? Just friends? No one knew. Did Fred? No. But he wasn’t stupid, he knew something was going on, but he didn’t want to ask. But he didn’t mind, as long as yn was happy. And she was, for the first couple of months. And then it seemed like Lando had other priorities. Of course she knew racing was important to him, and she didn’t expect to suddenly be on the absolute top of his priority list, that would always be F1 and she knew that. However, that didn’t stop the feeling of neglect starting to spread through her. She knew he had a packed schedule, but she would often find herself wishing he had more time for her, yet it just seemed he got less and less time for her.

As the relationship between them progresses, small arguments make it to the surface. Usually sparked by the fact yn feels unimportant, or that Lando misses a date or an anniversary. It’s never his intention, and he always makes it clear that he loves her, but as it continues to get worse and worse, she begins to question it. She even stops believing him 100%.

It was 2 am. Lando had just returned back to the hotel after the race in Singapore. He silently opened the door to the room he was sharing with yn, expecting her to already be sound asleep on the bed, but to his surprise she was sitting up, leaning against the headboard with the bedside lamp on.

“Can we talk?” She asks, her voice soft but filled with a hint of vulnerability.

“Of course.” Lando quickly closes the door and walks over to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Look, I know racing is extremely important to you, that it’s everything to you, but,” she pauses for a moment, not really sure how he’s going to take this. “What about us?” She asks, her voice shaking slightly.

“I know it’s been tough, and I’ve not been the best, but I’m under a lot of pressure right now,” Lando looks up at her and he can see the way his words hurt, and he can’t help the defensive tone that creeps into his voice. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“Didn’t have a choice? You’ve always had a choice! You chose to sign up for all those PR events. All the additional promotional videos. Do you know how it feels to always be the last thing on your mind?” Her voice raises a little as the frustration takes over, and she searches Lando’s eyes for a reaction, just some sort of reaction.

“I never wanted you to feel that way,” Lando sighs and looks her in the eye, he genuinely never wanted her to feel like she was his last priority. “But this is my career, it’s what I’ve worked towards my entire life.” 

“And where do I fit into that? When you talk about your future, you’re talking about your next race, the next podium, the next win. I can’t continue to just sit back and wait for you to finally have time for me. I can’t continue to just be a spectator in your life, Lando.” The hurt is visible on her face, and she turns away momentarily to look out the window. The rain is subtly falling outside, and small drops of water roll down the window.

“I thought you understood when we got together.” He says, trying to defend himself. “This is my life, my dream. I never wanted you to feel like you're not important.” His voice softens, but his tone is still defensive as he tries to avoid addressing the core issue.

“I did understand. And I’ve been nothing but supportive, but it’s been months of you forgetting a date, or something else. And I’m not asking you to quit racing, I would never do that. All I’m asking is that I become a priority too. Because right now it feels like you’ve made a choice. And it’s not me.” Tears start to swell up in yn's eyes, and Lando is at a loss for words. He never wanted it to get to this point, but he doesn’t know what to say. He looks away, and that’s the last straw for yn. She swings her legs off the bed and grabs her suitcase that she packed as soon as she returned from the race, since they were planning to leave early in the morning anyway. “I’ll give you some time to think about all of this. But I won’t be waiting forever. Figure out if this is something you want. Because I can’t keep doing this.” And with those words she leaves the hotel room, and into the elevator.

She walks out into the rain, with tears flowing freely from her eyes. She stops and takes a deep breath. She doesn’t want it to end between her and Lando, but she also can’t continue to just be a bystander in her own relationship. As she grabs her suitcase and is about to begin walking she hears Landos voice. “Wait!” 

She turns around and sees him walking in long strides toward her, the rain already drenching his hair. “I don't want to lose you. I’ll never leave you alone again,” he says as he reaches her. “I remember how it felt when we were sitting by the water on our first unofficial date. Every time I look at you, it’s like I’m seeing you for the first time all over again. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He places a hand on her cheek and gently rubs his thumb along her cheekbones. “Please don’t leave. We’ll make it work. I’ll make time for you. You’ll be my first priority, I promise.”

She looks up at him with an aching heart at the raw emotion in his voice. For a moment she wants to believe him, to just forget all the missed moments, but the pain is still too much. 

“You say that now, but what happens when life gets busy again?” She asks in a whisper, her voice shaking as she speaks. “What happens when I become the last thing on your mind again because something else takes priority?”

Lando’s hand trembles slightly against her cheek, but he doesnt pull away, and neither does she. The rain falls a little harder, and their breaths are visible in the cool air of the night.

“I won't let that happen.” His voice is filled with an urgency, a need, that she’s never heard before. “I know i’ve failed you, but this time-”

“”This time,” she interrupts him and takes a step back, resulting in his hand slipping from her cheek. “How do I know this time is any different?” She looks at him with tearfilled eyes, waiting for an answer she might not want. But it doesn’t come. Instead, Lando takes a step closer and his eyes are filled with so much love and hope.

“Because this time, I know what it’s like to lose you,” his voice is trembling and he pauses for a moment, searching for the right words. “And I can’t. I can't lose you.”

[readwritealldayallnight]

Right With You

Captain John Price x Reader

wc: 2.5k words

warnings/tags: fluff

“By the time our lass is done with ‘em, they’ll never even know wha’ happened!” The enthusiastic Sergeant seated to your left reiterates, receiving a series of nods in agreement from those also in attendance to the briefing.

Soap’s eyes wander to and from everyone in the room, seeing the approval in their faces, until he lands on that of his Captain’s. While everyone else is looking at Soap after hearing his recap of the plan, Price’s gaze is fixated solely on your expression.

The Sergeant turns and finds a look of what might be apprehension across your face, perhaps hesitation?

“You’d be completely safe, bonnie. We’d never let anythin’ happen to ya.” He quickly attempts to cover all his bases, believing that he is reassuring your potential doubts. “There’ll be eyes all over the bloody place. Watchin’ out for ya.”

“We just can’t have you armed. It’ll give ya away if anyone notices.” Ghost pitches in from where he’s sat in the shadowed corner, arms crossed across his chest as though he’s bored from this meeting, contrary to the steadfast attention he’s been paying.

You nod to yourself, eyes downcast on your fidgeting hands in front of you. In theory, the mission is simple enough.

Some top-notch drug lord is meant to be hosting quite the soirée in a few evenings time. And while narcotics are not the 141’s concern, the solid intel that a known and highly wanted arms dealer will be in attendance, well that is the 141’s business.

As the newest member of the team, you’d never come in contact with the target of this operation, though your fellow task force members apparently had. This left their chances of sneaking into the mansion undetected at a much poorer odd. And while it wasn’t strictly necessary for the mission to be kept as quiet as possible, it was widely understood that the less of a scene you could all cause, the better.

It was decided then that you, were likely the team’s best chance of sneaking into the gala undetected, distracting the target long enough to get him alone, where the rest of your teammates would be ready and waiting.

You’d been in much riskier, more dangerous situations that this one before. The lack of being armed wasn’t what had you on edge about this mission. But you weren’t so ready to admit your concern in front of everyone yet.

“Ultimately, it’s your choice.” Price’s commanding voice comes from the head of the meeting table, continuing to look at no one but you for confirmation on your feelings. “We’ll find another way in if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“No, no. I’m just- processing over here. No, I agree. This plan makes the most sense. I say we do it.” You state, receiving a friendly pat on the shoulder from Soap, who starts drawling on about how he knew you had it in ya.

The rest of the briefing is spent going over details, pulling up blueprints of the location, creating plans A, B, through to Z, and all the while, you can feel your Captain steady gaze pressed upon you, almost as if he knows you’re hiding something.

It’s well past midnight when John hears the faintest of rapping at his closed door. He should’ve been out of his office hours ago, paperwork be damned. But he finds himself mulling over the upcoming mission, wanting to find any discrepancy or indication that the intel they received was anything but absolutely correct. He hates sending his men into situations based off shoddy intel, and though he does trust this source, he’d never forgive himself for putting you into danger when he could have prevented it.

He glances up, tempted to pretend as though the lamp on his desk isn’t obviously turned on and visible through the shade of the blind he has pulled down over the door’s small window. However it’s then that he notices the shadow of the figure stood outside, and it’s much smaller than any of his Sergeants or his Lieutenant, or anyone else that might usually come knocking at this late hour.

“Come in.” He orders, loud enough for you to hear. He fights to keep the smile off his face when he sees your timid figure slowly open the door, eyes glancing up at him and then back down to your shoes as you shut it behind you. He’s glad you came. He had half a mind to go looking for you tonight himself, ultimately deciding to put it off until tomorrow. Glancing at his watch, he supposes it is technically tomorrow.

He greets you by your name. Not your position, not your nickname or even by your last name, but your first name. He’s pleased to see the faint blush spreading across the tips of your ears and the apple of your cheeks, as you continue to try avoiding his eye contact.

“I’m sorry to bother you Cap-”

“You know you’re never a bother.” He cuts you off with a slight raise of his hand, wanting to reassure you that you’re okay to be here. “It is a little late though, don’t ya think?” He tilts his chin towards one of the free seats in front of his desk, indicating he wants you to sit.

“I just-” you say, smoothing out the fabric of your fatigues as though you’re comforting yourself. “I was hoping to talk to you about the mission.” Finally you meet his eyes, and though he is your superior, your commanding officer, your Captain, he knows he’ll give you anything you want so long as you’re looking at him with those eyes. He shouldn’t be so lenient with you, acting as though you can pick and choose which missions you’ll work on at liberty. But he can’t help it with you.

“It’s like I said before, love,” he finds himself internally cringing at his use of the pet name. It’s not the first time he’s caught himself calling you terms of endearment. Yet another thing he cannot seem to control around you. “If you’re not confident walking in unarmed then we can-”

“Oh, no! That- that’s not it actually.” It’s your turn to cut him off, surprising him slightly. He figured you were more comfortable admitting your reluctance in front of just him, rather than all the lads, and that’s what brought you here tonight. “There’s um, another aspect that’s uh, kind of got me just a bit worried.”

“What’s that?” He instantly poses the question, eyebrows furrowed, sitting up straighter in his chair. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, he wants to correct it as soon as possible.

“This is so stupid, um- I know that it’s a fancier event, right? And that people are going to be uh, expected to dance, right?” The Captain’s not sure he’s ever seen your cheeks turn so red before as he listens to your attempt at an explanation. If he wasn’t so confused he would find it downright adorable. “Like, fancy dancing, right?”

“I- I believe there’s going to be dancing yes. Usually there are at these types of things…” he mentions, unsure of where you’re going with this train of thought. “Suppose you could consider it to be ‘fancy dancing’.” He adds with a slightly awkward chuckle.

“Right. Well sir I- I’m just worried I’m going to give us away and that the mission will be a failure and people will get hurt because of me and I would never want to put anyone in a-”

“Woah. Woah.” Price interrupts you once more, bringing your rant to a halt. “Sorry love, I think I’m missing somethin’ here. How would-”

“I don’t know how to dance.”

Oh. Oh.

That’s… not what he was expecting you to say.

“Dance.” He says, as if the word is suddenly somehow foreign on his tongue. “You don’t know how…”

“No sir. I don’t.” You say, gaze averting back down to yours hands as though this is something to be embarrassed about. “At least, certainly not the fancy dances they’re going to be doing at a gala. I’m sorry sir, I should’ve said something earlier. Soon as they ask me to dance it’ll be-”

“I’ll teach ya.”

Oh.

Well that’s not what you were expecting him to say. You’d shown up at his office, expecting him to scold you for keeping something so childish from him and the team, and that plans would have to be changed. You were certainly not expecting your Captain to offer you private dance lessons.

“What?”

“Can’t say I know ‘em all. An’ I’m certainly rusty, but I could show you how to waltz at the least. Tha’s probably the one those muppets will know.” John runs his hand through the scruff of his beard, thinking it over. If that truly is your biggest concern, he’ll stay awake all night watching dance instructor videos to put your worries at ease. “Again, that’s only if you’re comfortable with…”

“I guess that could work. I don’t need to look like a professional or anything, I just don’t want to blow our cover by stepping on anyone’s toes, literally.” You agree with him, finding a satisfied smile working its way onto his face at your words.

“Is that what had you so worried, sweet girl?” Now he really shouldn’t be calling you names like that, but when it’s this easy for him to solve your problems, this easy to erase the worry from your face and replace it with a smile, well forgive him but he just can’t help himself sometimes.

“Hey! It was a valid concern, okay?” You throw back at him, sitting up straighter in your seat as well, returning to the usual playful banter the two of you usually partake in during these rare moments alone. He chuckles at you, unable to hide his contentment with your quick switch in moods.

“You’re absolutely right. Never doubted you.” He tells you, gazing at your own content visage now.

“So how do we start this?”

“Hm?”

“The dancing? How should we-?”

“Oh, yes. Right. Well um, do you at least know how to position yourself for a waltz?” He slowly rises from his chair, readjusting the tuck of his shirt into his pants, watching as you spring up to your feet as well. He comes around the desk to stand closer to you, perhaps only now realizing the situation he’s put himself into. If he’s going to teach you to dance, he’s going to have to be closer to you than he ever has before. He swallows hard, coming closer to you.

“I mean, I think we hold hands and my other one goes somewhere up here?” You stick one arm out to the side, the other lifting up as if to mimic holding his shoulder.

“S’about right.” He finally steps closer enough that the two of you are only about a foot apart, close enough proximity that you have to tilt your head back slightly to meet his eyes. He takes your smaller hand, placing onto his shoulder with a delicacy you’ve never experienced before. Your breath hitches momentarily, and you hope he doesn’t notice. His other hand is reach out to fix your straight elbow, bending it slightly, sliding his digits along the soft skin of your inner forearm, before his palm meets your own, clasping it firmly.

“Your hands’ll go there like that. Good. And my other hand goes, uh-” he finds himself hesitating for a split second. The stoic military Captain, temporarily mortified at the prospect of putting his hand on your delicate waist. But apparently this is what the job asks of him right now, and so he painstakingly slowly inches his large grasp onto your side. Now you’re certain there’s no way he doesn’t hear your tiny gasp at the feeling of his hands on you like this.

“Every waltz has a leader and a follower.” He informs you after clearing his throat.

“I can assume which position you’ll take, Captain.” You murmur, attempting to bring some lightheartedness back into what has seemingly turned into a tense, heated exchange. He offers you as sincere of a chuckle as he can offer, but now he’s thinking about you, and the word positions, and he’s quickly losing focus of the task at hand.

“Aye, I’ll take the lead, yes.” He confirms your suspicion, squeezing your hand in his. “Now, if ya wanna just look at your feet for this part, tha’s alright. You’re goin’ to want to follow my steps…” He leads you through the first movements, taking a step back, directing you to follow with your own step forward, telling you how you should be landing on your foot. He introduces you to the concept of a 3-count tempo, slowing his instructions down when he can tell you’re not following. Next he’s adding a basic turn to the dance, watching as your face slowly begins to light up, realizing you’re not half as bad at this whole dancing thing as you thought, especially with an attentive teacher like Price teaching you.

Over the next hour and a half, you and Price are shoving the furniture in his office up against the walls, creating a makeshift dance space in the middle for the two of you. In actuality, you’d learned the movements well enough within the first half hour, and it could have been left at that. But in spite of that fact, as well as the increasingly late hour, there was an unspoken understanding between you and John. That neither of you were willing to part ways yet. Hell, you were actually having genuine, pure fun for once, you certainly weren’t going to stop to go to bed.

Especially not when that fun included your handsome Captain holding you in his muscular arms, spinning you around and smirking every time he forced a laugh out of you. Especially not when the position for a waltz somehow shifted into both your arms being looped around John’s neck, his own wide palms now on both sides of your waist, situated a little too low to technically be appropriate, and the space existing between your two bodies has become non-existent.

Certainly not when your soft swaying around the room, gazing into each other’s eyes with soft satisfied smiles upon your faces, morphs into standing still, squeezing one another a little more firmly, and hot breaths meeting in the middle.

You’re not sure how long you stand there, letting him hold you as if it were the most natural thing in the world. What you are sure of, is that when your faces both slowly find themselves leaning in towards another, and your forehead meets his own, he must see something in your eyes that tells him everything he needs to know. Because the next thing you know, just as you’re whispering his name, your captain lets out a soft groan before both his palms are holding your face and brings your lips to meet his own.

Part 2

[mingisongs]

𓇢𓆸 solace in us

ateez! song mingi x reader ᡣ𐭩

summary; your boyfriend comforts you thru health concerns and fertility issues

pairing; song mingi x afab!reader

word count; 2.2k

tags; comfort, fluff, grief

trigger warnings; infertility, reproductive illness !!

notes; personal to me — ♡

ᡣ𐭩

my dream had always been to be a mother.

and after meeting mingi, that desire grew into an aching need. the thought of us blossoming into such a testament of our love as that filled me with not only joy for my own dream, but euphoria at the thought of getting to be the person who makes him a father. he was young, i was young, but i had never met anyone with as much love to give as he did, and i felt in my heart that he could and would be the best parent.

he was aware that i was no longer on any form of contraceptive, and while we weren’t purposefully trying to conceive, we weren’t actively trying to prevent it. it wasn’t really a thought for either of us, and the way we were intimate was never careless nor with the sole intent to get pregnant. but we both shared the idea that we wanted a family together in the future, and my greatest hope was that i would be able to surprise him with the news that he was going to be a father.

i sat beside him on my couch, my chin resting against my knees as my thighs were brought up to my chest. he was sleepily watching the movie we’d put on an hour prior, but my drowsy eyes could only focus on him. he was unaware of my staring at him, and i giggled quietly, causing his attention to turn to me.

“what?” he asked, blissfully ignorant to the fact that i hadn’t been paying a bit of attention to the TV. his bare, clear skin without makeup adorning his eyelids, playful concern spreading across his face as i struggled to answer. i shook my head, unsure of why the bliss i felt was causing me to laugh.

“i just love you,” i said softly.

his bashfulness caused the soft pink of his cheeks to darken, while i knew he wasn’t shy about his affection, but just flustered when i professed my adoration for him unprompted. he reached out, pulling me against him, and i snuggled closer into his chest. his scent was so comforting, welcoming, him. i hated the way that his presence made me sleepy from how safe i felt, because i wanted nothing more than to stay awake 24/7 showering him with kisses and praise.

he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “i love you more than anything.” another kiss, his lips against my hair longer this time. “anything.”

we fell asleep on the couch that night.

•

the next day, i was sat on the bathroom floor. i was struggling to keep quiet, but devastation was debilitating me, and stifling my sobs was becoming more and more difficult by the second. mingi was still here at my apartment, but he was in the other room, and in his usual fashion i knew he was waiting patiently impatient for me to return.

it was the fourth time my late period came with not one, but two negative pregnancy tests, and the knowledge i had of my cycle had made it almost impossible for the timing to have been wrong. i wrapped the plastic tests in toilet paper and shoved them down into the trash can, and stood up to wipe my eyes. splashing my face with cold water, wiping my nose, trying to convince myself it was okay, nothing helped. every time i felt a sliver of peace, it was broken with the reality of the circumstances. it took forever to catch my breath and gain the courage to return to mingi’s side.

when i opened the bathroom door, however, he was standing directly behind it, staring at me with a worry and fear i had never seen in his eyes before.

“what’s wrong?” he asked. “you were crying?”

i felt paralyzed, my blood frozen cold in my veins. we were both too nervous to speak.

he finally reached out, taking my hand in his. “please, please tell me.”

i didn’t want to speak, it felt as though i couldn’t. “i… i’m sorry for worrying you —”

he reached up to wipe a tear from under my eye. “talk to me. that’s what i’m here for.”

“my… my period was late,” i stuttered out. “but i took two tests and they were negative.” my voice broke at the end of my sentence. i hated that i felt so broken up over this. his love and his presence was more than enough, my happiness wasn’t reliant on being a mother.

“oh,” he pulled me into him, breathing out a sigh of relief and sadness. “baby, it’s okay.”

“no, it’s not,” i sniffed. “i feel so broken.”

“you’re not broken.” he rubbed my back and he squeezed me tighter. “you are so perfect.”

i cried into his shirt for a while longer, and as perfect as he is, he was there with me until i got through it.

•

my new doctor had ordered testing. they wouldn’t have been as concerned, if symptoms outside of not getting pregnant hadn’t also been present. bloodwork, ultrasounds, MRIs. the results were all to be discussed with my doctor at once, and i waited anxiously as the days passed before i met with her.

mingi clutched my hand, rubbing his fingers on my skin reassuringly, my knee bouncing rapidly. i had protested him being present for this appointment, yet he expressed the need to be there for me, and while he respected me immensely, i decided that his accompaniment would be beneficial in the long run. and i was right, as the news delivered by my doctor made my brain pull the parachute cord, and i was outside my body for the entirety of our conversation.

if he was upset, he masked it well, as he held my hand and took care of speaking to the doctor on my behalf. it was hard for me to cry in the presence of medical professionals, so i was frozen, the lump in my throat aching so bad i thought i might throw up. the doctor’s professionalism came across as apathetic, though the sadness in her eyes at having to share the results with me was apparent. bicornuate uterus, external endometrial adhesions, fallopian blockage, hydrosalpinx… she couldn’t fathom how the pain was tolerable for me, or how these things hadn’t been caught sooner. she was apologetic. she said she was sorry the health care system and medical industry had failed me. she said we could discuss other treatment options at a later date when i was ready. for now i was being put on a form of birth control, hormonal drug, contraceptive to help the symptoms and shrink the growths.

back in the car, mingi held me, and i cried.

•

when we returned home, my heart broke at my inability to be present for mingi, but i went straight to bed. i laid down, my blinds closed and the lights out, and covered myself with my blanket. it was cold in my apartment, beginning to rain outside, and i knew that the cool air would be a comfort as my tears burned my face.

the hum of the air conditioning overpowered the sound of footsteps, and i was startled by mingi joining me in bed.

“you don’t have to -”

“i want to,” he interrupted.

his arms slid around me from behind, pulling me close into being his little spoon, and he held me tight, resting his hand under my shirt, right on my lower belly between my hips.

as soon as his warm fingers spread across my skin, i couldn’t stop the tears. he pressed a kiss to my back, his forehead against my shoulder. “i wish i could take your pain away.”

i sniffed. “i’m glad that you don’t have to.”

his lips were warm against my skin, his voice soft and quiet. “baby, i hate to see you in pain.”

i struggled to speak. “i won’t be able to make you a father.”

i felt him take a shaky breath, and he gently grabbed my arm to turn me over and face him. he had taken so much initiative and cared for me so much in the short while that i’d been struggling, so i didn’t resist when he wanted to speak to me directly. i just didn’t want to see his face knowing i was causing him to cry.

but when i looked at him, he was giving me the saddest smile, tears welling in his eyes. “and i won’t be able to make you a mother,” he said, touching my face gently. “it’s not your fault. i wish so badly that i could give you the same.” he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “but we have so much time and so many options.”

i felt unworthy of such love and kindness. “it makes me feel so worthless,” i said. “i knew something was wrong. i just didn’t expect it to be that bad. i didn’t expect my body to be that fucked up.”

he traced his thumb along my cheekbone to wipe a tear away. “it’s not fucked up. nothing about you is fucked up. it is not your fault.” he kissed my nose. “today, i love you more than i ever have. and there is nothing worth more than your love to me.”

•

he wasn’t in bed when i woke up the next day. i figured he had stepped out briefly for something, but i didn’t question or worry. he had a habit of leaving without waking me if he thought he’d be back before i got up for the day.

i checked the time, though, and it was almost noon. i sleep a lot when i’m sad. and i sleep so deep. i could barely keep my eyes open.

mingi held me all night, until i was able to relax. my heart still ached so heavily in my chest. but the panic was gone. i was left with exhaustion and absolute despair. it wasn’t because i felt like my purpose was to be a mother, or that my happiness relied on it, or that i was failing mingi. it was because i was sick, my body was broken, and i had a chronic disease inside of me that made my future unclear and scary.

that was the worst of it. the infertility was just the icing on that cake.

i heard the front door open, and got tense at the same time that i felt comfort from mingi’s return. he was quiet as he moved about the kitchen, his movements gentle and silent for — what i KNEW was — my sake. he would’ve parted the seas for me, had i asked.

i didn’t hear him walking towards the bedroom, yet i heard the sound of a small bell jingling, and stayed still to listen closer. it couldn’t have been his keys, but i was unsure as to what it could’ve been otherwise. i hadn’t heard a sound like it before.

just as i sat up, a little gray and white kitten with a bell hanging from her collar came running into the room.

my mouth immediately fell open in shock, throwing the blankets off of me to join the kitten on the floor. i got to my knees to get a closer look, and behind the kitten followed my sweet mingi.

i looked up at him in awe, and he grinned happily.

“you didn’t,” i said. he joined me on the floor, crossing his legs, sitting right beside me.

he lifted the kitten up and set it in my lap, and i held my hands up, unsure what to do, but the little baby curled up on my lap and stared up at me, bright blue eyes looking calm and curious.

“it’s a girl,” he said. “i had been wanting to surprise you for a while but… after yesterday, i figured it was the right time.”

“oh, mingi,” i whispered, reaching down to pet her. she immediately began purring and leaning into my touch. seeing her up close, i realized her collar was a pink bow, the little gold bell jingling quietly with every movement. i looked back at mingi. he was looking back at me with such love, but also waiting intently to hear about how i felt. “i love you so much. i don’t know what to say.”

“are you happy?” he asked, his concern for my wellbeing so endearing i wanted to melt.

i nodded, reaching out to pull him in, and kiss him softly on his lips. “i am so happy. this is the most amazing thing you could’ve done for me.” i took his face in both hands, looking him in the eyes. “i love you.” another kiss.

he laughed quietly, kissing me back.

“so many things are uncertain,” he said. “and all we can do is wait it out. but i hope that one thing you never question is how much i love you. how in love with you i am.” he reached out to pet the kitten in my lap. “and now, she can be a testament to that.”

he became engrossed in petting her, talking to her sweetly, but i couldn’t look away from him. he was so loving, and so giving, and so perfect. it would take me an infinite amount of lifetimes to ever begin to repay him and it still wouldn’t be enough. i would be forever indebted to his selfless devotion, yet all he asked for in return was my presence. my affection. my love.

and song mingi will forever own my heart. ♡

[taesanluv3r]

sleeping beauty

park sungho x reader

established relationship fic, as requested in this ask! this is the cutest thing i've ever thought of TT it came to mind right before bed and i ran down my bunk bed to type it out in my notes app LMAO. sungho calls reader princess :3 lowercase intended, pls ignore any spelling mistakes/grammatical errors. enjoyyyy!

wc: 1,742

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"my princess...wherever could you be?"

park sungho sighs but laughs a little at his tendency to speak poetically like he were in a shakespearean novel. he's standing by the tallest tree in the local park, his fluffy hair blowing in the air as a gust of cool wind passed by him. he's been waiting there for over fifteen minutes past their meeting time. it was too out of the ordinary for his girlfriend to be this late. so where was she? where was the usually punctual yn ln?

another minute goes by and the boy decides he couldn't stand it anymore. worried, and hurriedly he begins to walk towards the direction of her house - maybe he'd meet her half-way, otherwise, he'd just have to give her place a visit.

it being the latter, sungho arrives at her front door. he knocks on it once, and then twice before he was greeted by her mother's surprised smile. "sungho! hello sweetheart, what brings you here?" the woman's voice was pleasant; she's quite fond of the sweet boy by the door. "hey mrs. ln, i was just wondering if yn was home? she was running a little late to our date...i got a bit worried, that's all" he, too, ends his sentence with a soft smile, similar to that on the woman's face.

"oh, why she just came back from work about an hour ago...haven't seen her since she went to her room! why don't you come in? it's getting cold out here"

the boy follows the woman in, closing the door behind him as he entered the cozy home. "that poor girl..." his girlfriend's mom speaks up again, peaking the guy's interest. "she's been so busy lately...all with work and college. hardly get's any sleep, that girl! good she's finally on a break, today was her last day of the term, see..." a light-bulb went off in his head at the woman's words.

that must be it, he thought, she must've fallen asleep.

after getting the permission, and excusing himself from the down-stairs living room, sungho begins to climb up the carpeted steps. he takes a left at the end of the short hallway, passing by many pictures of his partner's family before finally making it to her bedroom. polite as ever, the boy knocks softly on the door to let the girl inside know of his presence. only when he heard no response did he let himself in.

"hey princess..."

the nickname he had gotten so used to calling her fades out of his mouth, his lips closing quickly to stop any further noise. there she was - yn ln was fast asleep on the edge of her bed. it didn't quite look like a comfortable slumber however; the girl still had on all her work clothes, the bag she took with her to campus early in the morning slouched over on the floor leaning against her bed-frame as if she had just tossed it there. and her bed itself was a whole mess of its own. sheets unfolded, books and papers scattered all over, the remains of her make-up from when she got ready clustered on her bed-side table, right next to the piles of clothes that stacked up on the floor.

once again the boy sighs, he hadn't visited her home in a while - he had no clue, how much the love of his life had been struggling.

"oh princess..." he calls to her again, though the only sound that came out of her were silent snores. sungho scans the room once more, nodding as the gears in his head began to turn. he scrunches up the long sleeves of his blue knitted sweater, tucking the loose ends of his long-ish hair behind his ears.

first, he moved away everything that was on top of her bed over to the floor, making sure the slumberous girl had the room she needed to rest a little better. then, carefully, he bended down to lift her into his arms as softly as humanly possible so as to not wake her. his hands move down her body to unbutton her work uniform, removing it and tossing it where the rest of her laundry was. he does the same with her jeans, and the rest of her clothes. he stops momentarily to grab a t-shirt from her closet, helping her into it slowly. the boy moves her to the further right side of the mattress - her favourite spot. he drapes the pale pink blanket over her body, stopping right below the chin. he watches as she shifts unconsciously, her body sinking deeper into the covers. sungho takes a step closer, pressing his lips to her forehead and whispering softly into her ear. "sleep well, princess" she smiles, as if she were fully aware of his presence.

"now...where to begin?"

for the next hour or so, park sungho quietly roams around the girl's bedroom. he had put her papers away, placed her books back onto their shelf, hung her bag in the closet, and carefully closed the lids on all her beauty products, putting them down one by one in the separate sections of the drawer under her vanity. he takes a moment to breathe, and to look back at his sleeping beauty, still fast asleep.

then, he dives into the pile of clothes on her floor. he sorts them into piles of whites and coloured before stuffing them into her two laundry baskets that sat in the corner of her bathroom - while he was in there, he took it upon himself to pick up the chunks of her hair that clogged up the sink, wiping her mirror down with a damp cloth as well.

finally, he arranges the mess atop the TV stand, reorganizing her tiny action figures, and picking up the pictures that had fallen off of her wall collage beside the TV. he smiles as his fingers graze the surface of a particular photo-strip; it was from their very first date. he chuckles softly at the obvious awkwardness emitted on his younger face. sungho picks up a push-pin, placing the image on the empty spot it had been in before on the cork-board. he takes a step back, focusing in on each and every picture she had in the collection. his eyes glimmer a little, each photo provoking a different emotion. once again, he falls in love with her.

"su...sungho?"

the familiar voice of his girlfriend steals his attention. the boy turns around at once, meeting eyes with yn. "oh, you're awake!" he says, a smile creeping onto his lips. the girl reciprocates before letting out a yawn. she rubs one eye with the back of her hand, the other one tapping on the spot beside her, inviting him to come over. sungho giggles, but wastes no time in climbing onto the bed.

"what're you doing here-" she cuts herself off with a gasp, "did you clean my room?!" he laughs once more at the shocked expression on her face. "mhm...you were like fifteen minutes late to our date so i got worried and came over here" she gasps again, "oh no...oh, i'm so sorry, sungho! i must've fallen asleep when i got home from work and-" he interrupts her, "shh, don't even worry about it princess" his voice is just above a whisper. he looks deep into her eyes, his hand moving up to caress her cheek. the girl's face gets warm, a red-ish tint painting her complexion at her boyfriend's touch-y antics.

"and..." she begins to speak but stutters a bit, "and my room...you didn't have to clean it all, i was gonna do it tomorrow" he shakes his head, "nonsense..." he leans in to kiss her, their lips colliding ever so sweetly with each other. "...you deserve to rest, princess. i took care of everything for you, okay? so you don't have to stress" sighing, she nods. his hands are still pressed against her cheeks, and their faces so close to each other that their foreheads touched.

"i'm sorry i didn't show up before...that wasn't part of the plan"

they laid down now, his back against the plush bedding and her head on his chest, moving up and down slowly with his every breath, and some netflix show playing on the TV. he shakes his head again, "i told you to stop apologizing, yn..." she laughs, "you know i can't help it sometimes" they didn't speak much after that, just embracing the warmth that came from each of their bodies. his slender fingers danced into her hair, the same way her own ones twirled against his abdomen.

she scoots up suddenly, nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck. yn places but the lightest pecks against his skin, feeling the goosebumps that formed all over him. she stops to look at him, examining every crease on his face, every crevice, every slight movement. sungho turns his gaze away from the television, face-to-face with her again.

with no words exchanged, the couple melted into each other once more. she had moved to sit on his lap, each of her hands on either side of his broad shoulders. his own gripped onto her waist beneath her shirt- not in any way that was suggestive at all, he just wanted to be in contact with her skin. in fact, this whole moment was wholesome more than anything else.

"sungho" she sighs, catching her breath. "what is it, princess?" he asks, just as breathlessly. "thank you" he smiles, "anything for you..." the boy trails off, carefully flipping the girl over so that she laid below him. sungho holds himself up by an arm, the other one smoothing over her hair and stopping by her chin. yn can't help the butterflies that swarm through her stomach.

they switch positions again, back to the one they had been in before; her head hidden between his shoulder and his jawline, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

"i love you" she says all of a sudden, not quite coherently as a yawn took over her voice. the weight of her body against his got heavier, as if she had fully succumbed to his embrace. "i love you more..." he replies, laughing slightly when he turns down to see her fast asleep all over again. park sungho leans in to kiss her once more, even when she wasn't awake, a blush grew onto yn ln's cheeks.

"...my sleeping beauty"

the end.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

aaaaaah i loved writing this so much. ily bf sungho TTTTTTTTTT hope u guys enjoyed this. as usual, feedback and reblogs r very appreciated! tysm for reading :3 love, kona.

[nova-is-a-writer-now]

Hidden embers

Chapter 6

Chapter summary: They say drunken words are sober thoughts, and Joel is about to hear all about yours.

A/N: Hello hello, HE wednesday is back!!! Im so excited about this chapter, it might be the longest one so far. I wanted to wait until i had chapter 7 completed before i posted this but I can’t wait any longer for y’all to read this, i appreciate the comments and reposts you guys have been giving me SO MUCH, it fills my heart 🤍 anyways enough yapping, enjoy!!

Warnings: No outbreak AU, no use of y/n, no sarah, Age gap, DBF!Joel, Slow burn, a tiny bit of angst, Alcohol consumption.

Series masterlist

You're halfway down the cereal aisle, arms full of groceries because, as usual, you convinced yourself you didn’t need a basket. Just a few things, you thought—when have you ever had that kind of self-control?

You shift the items in your grasp, trying to keep them from toppling over, when you hear a voice behind you

“Oh, bless your heart, need some help with that?”

You turn to see a blonde girl about your age, her smile warm and her Southern drawl as sweet as honey. She’s holding a basket in one hand and offering you the other

You chuckle, a little relieved. “Please. I thought I could manage, but I clearly overestimated myself.”

“Here, take mine,” she says, handing you her basket. “I’ll grab another.”

Before you can thank her, she’s already grabbed a new basket from nearby, her movements quick and effortless.

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” you say, feeling the weight lift from your arms.

“No trouble at all,” she replies with a bright smile. “I’m Charlotte, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m—”

“—I know who you are,” she cuts in, her smile widening. “Our dads are friends. Your’s always braggin’ ‘bout you.”

You chuckle at that. “Yeah I think he’s mentioned yours too, Bill and Frank, right?”

“That’s them,” she grins. “We live just a few blocks down from your place.” As you both walk down the aisle together, she glances over at you with a curious look. “You just moved back, right? How’re you liking small-town life?”

“I’m… taking it day by day,” you say, half-joking.

“That bad, huh?”

You let out a breathy laugh. “You could say that.”

She gently touches your arm, stopping you in your tracks. “Got any plans this Friday?”

“Not really, why?”

She gives you a grin that could charm the pants off just about anyone. “A few of us are going out. Just some drinks, a few laughs. Maybe a fun night out is what you need.”

You think it over for a moment. Sure, you’ve kept in touch with your college friends, but since moving back, you haven’t really hung out with anyone besides your parents. And, well… Joel.

The thought is enough to convince you. “Yeah, alright. I’m in.”

“Perfect! I’ll swing by and pick you up around seven. You won’t regret it, promise.” She winks and turns down the next aisle, leaving you with a lighter heart and a basket full of groceries.

It took a while, but you finally dug out the perfect black top from the back of your closet. Paired with some flared jeans and a leather jacket slung over your arm, you had yourself a killer outfit.

You hopped down the stairs, hearing the hum of Charlotte’s car idling out front.

“Mom! Dad! I’m heading out now, I’ll be back around midnight!” you call, pulling the jacket on as you reach the bottom step.

Your mom emerges from the kitchen, a towel in her hands, mid-dry. “Heading out where?”

You sigh, already regretting the interaction. “With Charlotte, mom. I told you earlier.”

“Oh, Charlie! She’s a darling. She’s doing the pageant this year, you know? Took a bit of convincing, but she’s a star. I’ve got all my money on her winning. That body, that face—she’s got it in the bag.” Her eyes flick over you then, slowly dragging up and down your own body. “Glad you’re hanging out with her, maybe you’ll pick up a thing or two.”

You’re used to the digs—decades of practice, really—but lately, it’s been harder to brush off. The grip you have on your emotions feels like it’s slipping more every day.

Still, you hold back the biting retort on the tip of your tongue. Not worth starting a third world war over this.

“Goodnight, mom.”

You turn and walk out the door, heading straight for Charlotte’s car, ignoring the sting of her words as best you can.

The car ride there flies by. Charlotte, despite your previous judgment after your mom mentioned her being a pageant girl, is beyond fun. You do karaoke the whole way there, getting to know each other a bit better in between songs. She’s not just sweet but also insanely smart. She’s finishing up nursing school and has her entire future pretty much planned out. You envy her a little for that last part.

Once she parks in front of the bar, she turns to you and says, “You ready to wild out?”

You laugh, nerves bubbling under the surface, trying to play it off. “Always ready to wild out.”

Stepping out of the car, you smooth down your top and follow Charlotte toward the entrance. The place is a little louder than you anticipated, music spilling out into the night air along with bursts of laughter. It’s a small town bar, but it’s packed.

“Come on, let’s get a drink first!” Charlotte grabs your hand, leading you through the crowd with ease, like she’s been here a hundred times before. You feel the warmth of her energy, the way she confidently navigates the room, and you can’t help but feel a little more at ease.

At the bar, Charlotte orders for both of you, flashing the bartender a bright smile as he hands over two drinks. She passes you one. “Here’s to new friends,” she says, raising her glass.

“To new friends,” you echo, clinking your glass with hers before taking a sip. The burn of alcohol feels like the start of something good, a buzz already settling in.

Charlotte leans closer, her voice cutting through the noise. “So… any cute guys on your radar tonight?”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “Not really here for that.”

“Oh, come on, there’s gotta be someone.” She gives you a teasing nudge, but when you hesitate, her eyes narrow in playful suspicion. “Wait. Don’t tell me. You’ve got a guy already?”

Your heart skips a beat at the question, and suddenly, Joel flashes in your mind. You try to shake it off, but Charlotte’s quick. She catches the flicker of emotion on your face, and her smile shifts into something more knowing.

“Oh, girl… you do, don’t you?”

You can’t help the way your face heats up, and you take another long sip of your drink to cover it. “It’s not like that.”

Charlotte leans in, her smile turning mischievous. “Uh-huh. Sure it isn’t. Spill—who’s the lucky guy?”

“It’s complicated,” you mutter, feeling a little ridiculous. You came out tonight to get away from these thoughts, not drown in them.

“Complicated usually means interesting,” she says, taking a sip from her own glass. “Is it someone I’d know?”

You hesitate. The thought of saying Joel’s name out loud feels… wrong, somehow. Like it’ll make everything you’ve been wrestling with real, something you can’t just shove aside like you’ve been trying to. You shift in your seat, tapping your fingers against the cool glass.

“Maybe,” you finally admit, your voice quieter now. “But it’s not a good idea. He’s older. Like, way older.”

Charlotte raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued but not judging. “Well, you’re an adult, that shouldn’t be much of an issue. If the chemistry’s there, it’s there.”

“Yeah, but it’s not just that, he’s also a family friend. I don’t even know if he’d be interested, you know? It’s just too messy.”

Charlotte gives you a sympathetic look. “I get it. Messy’s never fun.” She takes a deep breath before flashing you a soft smile. “But for what it’s worth, you don’t have to feel guilty about liking someone, even if it feels complicated.”

You let her words hang in the air for a moment, absorbing them. You know she’s right, but knowing doesn’t make it any easier.

“Come on,” Charlotte says, pulling you from your thoughts. She stands, taking her drink with her. “Let’s dance. Forget about the complicated stuff for a while.”

You give her a small smile, grateful for the distraction. “Yeah, okay.”

You follow her to the dance floor, the thrum of the music vibrating through your body as you try to let yourself go, to let the rhythm take over and drown out the noise in your head.

A little while passes before Charlotte’s friends finally arrive. She spots them first, waving them over from where you're both standing near the dance floor.

“Over here!” she calls out, her voice rising above the music. “Guys, this is the girl I was telling y’all about.”

You turn to see a group heading your way—two girls and a guy, all dressed up but casual in a way. The girls reach you first, both of them with that same easy warmth Charlotte exudes.

“This is Amber,” Charlotte says, gesturing to a brunette with big doe eyes and gorgeous caramel skin.

Amber flashes you a wide grin. “Hey! So nice to finally meet you. Glad you survived a car ride with Charlotte, without any permanent hearing loss, I hope?”

Charlotte gasps, playfully smacking Amber on the arm. “Excuse me, my car concerts are a privilege to experience.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Honestly, the karaoke was the best part.”

Amber raises her eyebrows with a smirk. “See? She gets it.”

Charlotte rolls her eyes before motioning to the girl beside Amber. “And this is Josie,” she introduces, pointing to the girl with sleek black hair and striking hazel eyes.

“Hey there,” Josie says, pulling you in for a quick, friendly hug. “Welcome to the chaos.”

You chuckle, feeling instantly comfortable around them. Charlotte then glances over her shoulder at the guy lingering behind the girls—a tall, brown-haired guy with an easygoing smile.

“Oh, and this is Alex. He’s Amber’s brother” she adds, nodding toward him.

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Alex says, stepping forward with a relaxed grin. “Charlotte’s been talking about you all week.”

You can’t help but laugh. “All good things, I hope?”

He nods, his voice smooth and calm. “All great things.”

His energy is different from the girls—more laid-back—but he’s just as welcoming.

The rest of the night is exactly that—effortless fun. Laughter flows as freely as the drinks, your mind slipping into a peaceful place that you haven’t felt since you got back. It’s a feeling you cling to, desperate to keep it alive for as long as you can. Like being wrapped in a bubble where everything is light, easy, and uncomplicated. You don’t want it to burst.

But eventually, thirst creeps in, and you find yourself craving another drink. You make your way to the bar, Alex trailing behind you.

“You having fun?” he asks, once you both have drinks in hand.

You nod, smiling as you prop your head up on your closed fist. “Actually, yeah. A lot more than I expected.”

Alex chuckles, leaning against the bar, his eyes studying you in that way you’ve seen before—soft but curious. “Well, contrary to popular belief, us small-town folk know how to have fun too.”

His smile is kind, warm. It suits him. You take a moment to really look at him, now that you're out of the haze of the dance floor and the dim lighting. He’s undeniably handsome—those soft features, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he grins. He feels safer, easier. A lot more inviting and open than… fuck.

Even as you take in all of Alex’s best features, your thoughts drift elsewhere. To a man whose presence has been ingrained in your brain for the past month. The way his rough edges make him so different from Alex. How his gaze isn’t soft at all, it lingers like a weight, heavy and consuming in a way that you can’t shake off.

Fuck.

You’re sitting here, comparing this sweet, charming guy to Joel, trying to convince yourself to like Alex more. You should. He’s age appropriate, and your dad would love him. It would make everything so much simpler. But no matter how hard you try, Joel lingers in the back of your mind, refusing to leave you alone. You haven’t been able to escape him, not even with a handsome guy straight-up flirting with you at a bar.

The realization hits you like a punch to the gut. You blink, lost in the mess of your thoughts.

“Hey,” Alex’s voice pulls you back to the moment, concern etched on his face. “You alright? Where’d you go?”

You force a smile, waving it off like it’s nothing. “Sorry, just spaced out for a second.” But the truth is, you’re spiraling, and you desperately need air. Suddenly, all the drinks you've downed feel like too much and not enough at the same time. Everything looks hazy and blurry, and you just need space.

Once the bartender hands you your new drink, you turn to Alex. “I’m uh… I’m gonna go get some air. Would you let the girls know for me?”

Alex looks at you for a second, sensing there’s more to it, but he concedes. “Sure, take your time, I’ll let them know.”

With that, you step outside.

The cool midnight air hits your skin the moment you push through the doors, instantly grounding you, but it doesn’t quite settle the buzzing in your chest. You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your racing thoughts, but it’s impossible to ignore the weight that’s been sitting there for weeks.

Joel.

You hate that it’s him filling your mind right now, after everything. You should be enjoying this—cute guy, fun night, no strings attached. But instead, all you can think about is the way he makes you feel.

It’s frustrating, and you’re tired of carrying it around in silence.

You’re realizing now, with an empty glass in your hands, that this last drink might’ve been a mistake. Without fully thinking it through, you pull out your phone and scroll to his name. You hesitate for only a second before hitting the call button. It rings once, twice, then a third time before it goes to voicemail.

You should hang up—calling was a bad decision in the first place—but leaning against the wall of the bar, staring up at the sky, you can’t help the words that spill out.

“Hey…” Your voice is low, slurred with alcohol but steady enough. “I went out with a friend tonight, Charlotte. I’m sure you know her. We came to this small, crowded bar that I don’t feel like going back into, and there was this cute guy, dazzling smile, pretty puppy eyes, you know the kind. God, he used to be my type too—me from a couple of months ago would be screaming to go give him my number. But he was talking to me, and I just… I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying. It was like he was missing something, a bit more of a drawl or a patchy beard or kicking me out of his house randomly ‘cause he started touching my leg.” You chuckle softly. “But it’s not just him, Joel, it’s all of them. Every boy I see now—they're all either too soft, or too short, or too lanky, too nice or too chatty. They're just… I don’t know, not you. And it’s funny, ‘cause you don’t care. I’m here losing sleep over insignificant glances and touches and whatever, and you’re walking into my house to watch the damn game with my dad like it’s nothing. Like this is all nothing. Which I guess it is. It makes me a bit stupid to be acting like there was ever something here to begin with.”

You pause, your chest tight, mind buzzing.

“It doesn’t matter. This whole thing is stupid. I should probably figure out a way to get myself back home.” You pause again, biting your lip. “Please delete this in the morning and let’s never talk about it again, okay? I’ll be mortified. Goodnight.”

Your breath hitches as the words tumble out, and you clench your jaw, suddenly embarrassed by your own admission. But it’s too late. You’ve already hung up.

Steam still clings to the bathroom mirror as Joel steps out of the shower, towel slung low on his hips. The day has weighed on him—long hours, sun beating down, the usual aches and stiffness creeping into his bones. He runs a hand through his damp hair, catching a glimpse of himself in the fogged-up glass, the lines on his face more pronounced tonight.

With a heavy sigh, he pads barefoot across the room to his nightstand, reaching for his phone. There’s a part of him that wants to just lie down and shut the world out for a while, but old habits die hard, and checking his phone before bed is one he can’t seem to break. He unlocks it, thumb absently scrolling through notifications until your name flashes across the screen, and a voicemail icon blinks at him.

He freezes.

Your name.

For a moment, Joel just stares at it, thumb hovering above the screen. He hasn’t heard from you since the other night at your dad’s house—since that awkward, tension-filled game that still sits heavy in his mind. It would’ve been easier to keep the distance if you weren’t always… there. But you were.

He hesitates.

Maybe he shouldn’t listen.

But then, with a quiet curse under his breath, Joel presses play and brings the phone to his ear. There’s a beat of silence, a soft crackle before your voice comes through, and he feels something knot tight in his chest.

“Hey…” Your voice is quiet, a little slurred, like you’ve had a few too many. His brows knit together as you continue. You start talking about the bar, about a guy. A cute guy. A pang of something ugly twists in Joel’s gut, though he forces himself to keep listening.

"...used to be my type too… me from a couple months ago would be screaming to go give him my number."

Joel exhales, hand gripping the phone a little tighter as he leans back against the bed frame, legs stretched out in front of him. He swallows down the strange burn in his throat when you laugh, your words sinking in deeper with every second.

It’s when you mention the comparisons—how no one quite measures up to him—that something flickers across his expression. You shouldn’t be saying this, shouldn’t be thinking this, and yet… here you are. His jaw clenches when you talk about him touching your leg. He remembers that moment, how he’d pushed you away, forced that distance between you both before it got out of hand. But the way you bring it up now makes his pulse quicken, heat rising in him despite his efforts to keep it at bay.

"Every boy I see now—they're all either too soft, or too short, or too lanky, too nice or too chatty. They're just… not you."

His heart pounds harder at that, the breath he didn’t know he was holding finally releasing in a quiet exhale. Damn it. You weren’t supposed to feel this way. And he wasn’t supposed to like hearing it.

Your voice wavers when you say it doesn’t matter, that the whole thing is stupid, but Joel knows better. He hears it in the way you trail off, that vulnerability you can’t quite hide when you tell him to delete the message, pretend it never happened.

The voicemail ends, the room falling into an almost oppressive silence as Joel lowers the phone. He’s still staring at the screen, his thumb hovering over the delete option, but he can’t bring himself to press it. He should. You told him to. It would be the smart thing to do—erase the evidence, keep things clean between you two, never bring it up again.

But instead, Joel lets the phone fall to his chest, closing his eyes as he leans his head back against the headboard. His pulse still thrums in his ears, the weight of your words hanging heavy in the air. He knows he should forget it, but deep down, he knows it’s already too late for that.

A gnawing worry creeps in, pricking at the back of his mind. The slur in your voice, the way you sounded just… off. The mention of getting home by yourself.

He tells himself it’s just concern, that’s all. You’d been drinking, probably too much, and you shouldn’t be out alone at this hour. What kind of man would he be if he didn’t at least make sure you were alright?

But even as he gets up, throwing on an old t-shirt and grabbing his truck keys, Joel knows it’s not just that. There’s a deeper pull, something he can’t shake, and it’s not only about your safety. It’s about you, being near you, even when he’s spent weeks trying to keep that distance. The line he keeps redrawing in the sand has blurred so many times now, and yet, here he is, crossing it again.

He grips the steering wheel tight as he drives, headlights cutting through the dark, each street he passes tightening the knot of anticipation in his chest. He shouldn’t be doing this. It’s reckless, irresponsible. He’s trying to justify it—hell, he could call Charlotte, or maybe your dad, someone else to check on you. But no, he’s out here, already halfway across town, and that says more than he’s willing to admit.

Finally, he spots you. The dim glow of a streetlight casts a faint circle around where you’re sitting on the sidewalk, head resting on your arms, knees pulled up close to your chest. You look small, lost, and it tugs at something inside of him.

Joel pulls up slowly, parking a few feet away, his eyes locked on you through the windshield. For a second, he just sits there, watching. You’re still, unmoving, save for the occasional shift of your shoulders. He debates turning around, leaving before you even notice, but he knows that’s not an option. Not now.

Stepping out of the truck, Joel takes a breath, steeling himself before approaching. His boots scuff softly against the pavement as he gets closer, his heart thudding in his chest.

He clears his throat softly. “Hey…” His voice is low, careful. “You alright?”

You lift your head slowly, blinking against the bright light of the streetlamp as your eyes meet his. For a second, you don’t say anything, and neither does he.

Then your soft voice breaks the silence. “Are you really here or am I that drunk?”

He can’t help but let out a breathy laugh. Just like that, all the worries and the guilt, the pressure to do what’s right, it’s all gone in a heartbeat. It doesn’t matter. Not right now. Because you're sitting there in front of him, beautiful as ever, looking up with those glossy, wide eyes that make your usual sweetness seem even more disarming.

So he let’s go. Just for tonight, he can enjoy this feeling instead of shoving it down.

“Come on, party girl,” he murmurs, his voice softer now. “Let’s get you home.”

You try to stand, but your heels betray you, and before you can fully straighten up, you’re stumbling. Joel’s right there, catching you without a second thought, just like he always is. His hand wraps around your arm, steadying you, like it's second nature.

“I need to stop tumbling down every time I’m around you,” you mumble, slurring your words with a hint of frustration in your humor. Your brows furrow in concentration as you focus on taking the small, careful steps toward Joel’s truck. “I swear I’m usually not a clumsy person.”

He chuckles, his hand still holding onto you as if it’s where it belongs. “It’s alright. I like you tumbling onto me.”

There’s a subtle warmth in his words that he doesn’t even try to hide now.

He helps you get situated in the passenger seat before rounding the truck and sliding into the driver’s seat. He doesn’t start the engine right away, though. For a second, he just sits there, hands gripping the wheel, his eyes flicking toward you and then away, not knowing how far he’s allowing himself to go tonight. He needs to say something, move this goddamn situation forward somehow.

You break the silence first, your voice softer now, pulling him back from the spiral. “Joel… You didn’t have to come get me.”

His fingers flex on the wheel, jaw tightening. He knows he didn’t have to come. He shouldn’t have. But Lord, the second he heard that voicemail, his mind spun into a frenzy—your voice all slurred and honest in a way it never had been before. You sounded… lost. He doesn’t want to admit how incapable he felt of doing nothing in that moment.

He lets out a slow breath, rubbing his hand over his face. "Yeah, I did."

You look at him, blinking slowly like you’re trying to figure him out. He can see the alcohol buzzing behind your eyes, but there’s clarity there too, something cutting through all that fog. “Why?” you ask, your voice soft, hesitant. “Why did you come?”

He swears he hears the crack in his own chest before he even opens his mouth. Why the hell did he come? He knows the answer. He knows what you’re trying to get him to say. But he can’t say it, not without giving something away he isn’t ready to give. So he falls back on the one thing that’s easy. “Because you called,” he says, his voice low, rough. “And I—” He hesitates, the words sitting on his tongue like they’ll choke him. “I was worried.”

Worried. It’s weak, but it’s the best excuse he’s got.

Your gaze softens, and it’s like you see right through him, see all the bullshit he’s trying to keep up. “You don’t have to keep doing that,” you murmur. “Act like you’re just worried about me because of… whatever. I’m not stupid, Joel.”

His heart stutters in his chest. His first instinct is to argue, to push back, but something about the way you’re looking at him makes him pause. He clenches his jaw, trying to harden his expression, but you’ve always had this way of seeing past that. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he manages, though his voice comes out more defensive than he means for it to.

But you don’t back down. You never do. “I think I do. I think you do too.”

Joel’s heart starts pounding harder in his chest. There’s a moment where everything feels too quiet, like the whole world is holding its breath, waiting for him to do something—say something that’ll either make this all blow up in his face or force him to admit things he’s been burying for weeks. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He shakes his head, trying to break free from whatever hold you’ve got on him.

He starts the truck, the sound of the engine a relief. “We should get you home,” he mutters, trying to steady his voice, even though everything inside him feels like it’s tipping over the edge.

But as he pulls onto the road, his grip on the wheel tight, he can’t stop glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. He’s trying to keep his distance, trying to convince himself this is just him doing what’s right, being a good man. But the truth’s gnawing at him, clawing its way up, no matter how much he pushes it down: He didn’t come here just to get you home.

"Can we get something to eat?" Your voice startles him, bringing him back from the place he just mentally went to. “I’m starving.”

“Um… sure. What do you feel like?”

“Anything greasy and fast. Something that’ll soak up all the bad decisions I made tonight,” you joke, but there’s something in your voice, a vulnerability that Joel doesn’t miss.

You end up at a late-night drive-thru, ordering burgers and fries. He pulls into a quiet spot and turns off the engine, the warmth of the food filling the truck. It’s quiet for a moment, the air between you heavier than it should be.

“You alright?” he asks, turning to look at you.

You don't answer right away, staring out the windshield, your fingers playing with the edge of the fry wrapper. “I don’t know,” you admit quietly. “I’ve just… been feeling off lately.”

Joel’s not sure how to respond. He’s used to your bratty quips and playful banter, but this—you letting him in like this—feels different.

“You don’t have to explain,” he says, his voice low, gentle. “Sometimes things just get… heavy.”

You nod, taking a small bite of your burger before setting it down, barely touched. “It’s been weird being back home. Everything’s familiar, but nothing feels right, you know? Like I should fit here, and I don’t.”

He shifts in his seat, turning slightly to face you. “Yeah, I get that,” he says, surprising even himself with the admission. “Felt like that for a long time. Still do sometimes.”

You look over at him, really look at him, and for the first time tonight, there’s no walls between you. No snarky comments, no tension bubbling beneath the surface. Just two people who’ve been through a lot, trying to figure out how to navigate the mess.

“You? Really?” you ask, genuinely surprised.

He nods, glancing down at the steering wheel. “Yeah, really. Even when everything seems like it’s where it’s supposed to be, it still doesn’t always… fit. It’s hard to explain.”

For a moment, you just sit there, sharing the silence. It’s not awkward, though—more like a mutual understanding, something deeper than words could convey. Joel finds himself relaxing, letting his guard down more than he intended.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” you say softly.

He smiles at that. “Couldn’t leave you out there like that, darlin’” he replies, his tone soft but firm.

You return his smile, small but genuine. It makes Joel feel like maybe—just maybe—this isn’t a mistake after all. It’s not about crossing lines or getting too close. It’s about being there for you, like he wants to be, like you need him to be.

And somehow, that feels right.

Tag list: @yesjazzywazzylove-blog , @untamedheart81 , @mellymbee , @wintersquirrel , @chyannealaniz , @spiderman-n-n , @ghostofzion , @sjc7542 , @yyiikes , @pedrofan @loveisacowboy @sageluvsjoel

[lalunanymph]

𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑 - itoshi r, itoshi s

✧˚ · . a tornado meeting a hurricane, a wild flame catching onto dry straw—that was how it felt like to love the both of them: disastrous.

✧˚ · . love triangles, heavy tones of ch[e]ating, mentions of alc[o]hol, mentions of food, s[m]ut, injuries, ph[o]ne seggs (w. sae), all characters are aged up, 10k+ words because im sick like that

✧˚ · . she’s finally back and ready to make everyone sob again

masterlist | playlist

#3 — HABITS OF OUR HEART

Sae frowned at his phone, unsure of what to make of your radio silence. 

It was unlike you to ever leave him high and dry. Usually, he could count on your sweet messages to sustain him throughout the day with the promise of hearing your voice at night to top off another hectic training session. The picture of you smiling on his wallpaper teased him with the yearning for home, and he thought it wouldn't hurt to give you a call to see how you were doing. 

The prolonged dial tone upped his worries, and he was close to caving in and asking Rin to check up on you (again) when you answered the call in a scratchy voice. 

“Baby?” 

Sae felt like all the air in his lungs had returned to him. “Y/N?” Unused to being this vulnerable in front of someone, his tone took a defensive turn. “Why haven’t you been texting me back lately? Is something the matter? Did I…” He hesitated, a sudden lump in his throat obstructing his next accusation. Instead, it made him whisper the next part, suddenly afraid that he had done something to push you away. “Did I make you angry?” 

Your reassurance was immediate. “Wh—no! No, Sae. We’re fine, promise. I’m just super busy at work now and putting in more hours so I can take a long leave and spend it with you.”

The steel band constricting his thoughts and breath into one tight, tense knot, eased. “Oh. Then why didn’t you tell me?” 

He hated how whiny he sounded; this wasn’t like him at all. But, you had some strange hold over him to make a self-assured famous footballer lose his footing and grovel for your attention. 

How strange. 

Sae hated this new development with every fibre of his being, but he couldn’t stay away. Your soft laugh was the sweetest balm to his bruised ego, and your avoidance did not hurt as much anymore when you cooed and asked him if he was eating well.

“I miss you s’much, Sae,” you mumbled, and he could hear minute rustling in the background, like you were laying back on your bed. The mental image of you spread out for him, pussy wet and waiting, a hazy smile playing on the corners of your lips like it always did when he was about to claim you as his again, made his cock throb. 

“Miss you, too, baby.” He padded towards the hotel room window, staring out at the traffic below. The man staring back from his reflection was more worn out than he expected, the circles under his eyes almost carved into his skin. He scrubbed one hand down his face, feeling homesick and world-weary at the same time. “Can I video-call you? Haven’t seen you in a bit.”

You didn’t miss a beat. “Sure.” 

Ending the call, he swiped at the vibrating notification which pulled up a soothing image of your smile from a thousand miles away, your eyes filling with concern when they raked up and down his weathered face. “Baby, have you been sleeping well?” 

He could barely focus on your words. His guess was right; you were laying in bed, wearing one of his old jerseys. The well-worn cotton settled perfectly on your curves and he could plainly imagine his name embossed across your back. It made all his blood and rationale run down south. Without another second of hesitation, he sat down on one of the plush hotel sofa chairs, tugging down the band of his sweatpants and grasped the pulsing base of his cock. His usually apathetic gaze was alight with an unnamed emotion, and he sensed you were waiting for a reply. 

“I will be when you’re here with me.” Fuck—what sappy, corny shit. But, Sae was starting to realise that a man at the mercy of pleasure would say anything and everything in the heat of the moment. Your half-lidded, sleepy eyes sparked with life when you heard a wet squelch. 

“Sae… baby, are you touching yourself?” 

Might as well show you since the cat was out of the bag. 

Switching from the front camera to the back one, the dual screens showed your parted lips and slowly warming cheeks while the bigger display showcased his leaking cock firmly in his fist. 

“Oh.” 

He noticed you biting your lip, and your camera switched to a front view of his jersey inching up the expanse of your bare thighs. Sae’s breath hitched when your naked pussy came into view, the teasing dark triangle between your legs hinting of your warm walls which he missed with every beat of his homesick heart. 

“Fuck, Y/N.” He started stroking himself the same moment you parted your thighs, skimming your shaky fingers down the rise of your hip bone to sweep through your seam and gather the unmistakable wetness there. Sae choked back on a moan when you focused the camera on those same fingers playing with your viscous, honey-like arousal, before plunging them back into your gaping hole and slowly fucking yourself with them.

“Sae…” 

Both your calls were silent enough to pick up on each other’s heavy breathing. It felt like months since he had your sweet pussy, and he halfway wished he was closer to home; closer to you. He missed the achingly intoxicating scent of vanilla which always seemed to emanate from the beloved crook of your neck. He yearned for your touch, your kisses, your smiles—they always managed to brighten up his day no matter how shitty it was. 

“Look at you,” he groaned. Luckily, the camera was not focused on his face—Sae was self-conscious like that. He rarely made love to you during the day time, preferring to keep his vulnerability and heart bare for you when night fell. He was determined to never let the world see this side of him where such sensitivity was reserved for your viewing pleasure only. “So fuckin’ sexy… you drive me crazy.” 

His half-mast gaze was caught on how shiny and slippery your fingers were; how you rubbed your clit and fucked yourself with three fingers until your hips started to buck.

“Nghh—Sae!” 

“That’s right,” his voice was rougher, edged with lust. “Say my name, baby. Who does that pussy belong to?” 

“Y-you,” the sharp gasp coming from his headphones almost had him spilling into his fist. “B-belongs to you, Sae.” 

He grunted, head tossed back and face shining with sweat. “Damn right—f-fuck… m’gonna cum, baby… cum with me.” 

It was not a request but an order. You had no choice but to comply if you wanted to show him the true depth of your devotion. 

An almost cruel smirk overtook his usual placid features, and he wished he was there with you to pace you through your release. Even through the small display, he could savour the visual of your back arching, your hips circling in a desperate plea to be consumed by this twinflame of burning desire you both held for one another. Sae felt his balls tightening and he bit on his lower lip to stifle a moan, streaks of white painting his palm.

“Oh, god… Sae… m’wanna lick you all up, baby.” 

In the haze of his orgasm, the impact of your words managed to strike him hard, and he halfway wished the same; that you were here, on your knees, mouth open and ready to clean up his mess. He would give you the sloppiest kiss once you did, and maybe he might even run you a bath afterwards to soothe your tense muscles.

“Mmm, tryna make me come home earlier, baby?” 

His teasing was met with silence on your end, and Sae shook off some of the lingering fugue to check if his phone had accidentally froze. 

“I don’t wanna come in between you and work, Sae.” Your mumble of discontent made him frown, and he switched his camera back to his flushed cheeks and thinned mouth. You did the same, and he could tell something was wrong because your eyes were filled with a glossy sheen of tears, and you couldn’t look at him through the screen. 

“What do you mean by that?” He didn’t intend his words to come out harshly, but Sae has always been a blunt man. He couldn’t trade a lifetime of caustic tendencies to suddenly be thoughtful and nice, though he wished in this instance, he damn well could. 

If anything, it would lighten the stormy clouds settling in your usually clear eyes; soothe the ache in your soul which missed him as much as he missed you. 

“I just… come back home when you want, Sae, and not when you think I need you.” 

A flash of hurt struck his chest, though his expression remained impassive. Despite how you had the best of intentions, he couldn’t help but be numb to your kindness and focused instead on the glaring insinuation. 

“You don’t want me to come back?” 

You blinked and your expression turned horrified. “N-no! Sae, that’s not what I meant, I—” you broke off with a tired sigh, and rubbed your temples with your clean fingers. “I just… I do miss you. But, please, focus on your work first. I’ll always be here, yeah? Come back when you need to, okay? I’m here waiting.”

Though your words made him feel marginally better, it soured some of the tenderness he wished he could savour during this afterglow. 

“Right,” he said curtly, and it wasn’t fair to you, but he started to shut down. “I’ll let you know when that is.” 

A beat of silence passed when the both of you said nothing at all. Sae suddenly felt like a neon sign was hovering over him, pulsing the words lukewarm loser lukewarm loser in his direction. A coil of anger curled heavily in his belly, making him feel slightly sick. 

“Look, if you’re not gonna—”

“I love you, Sae,” you cut through whatever harsh bullshit he was poised to spill. Your declaration took him off guard, and he clamped his mouth shut. It was a wise decision, because your smile was touched by the heavens themselves, a gentle glow about you that he did not deserve when you beamed at him through the screen. “Go make us proud. Make your country proud, baby. We’re rooting for you.”

Sae wished he hadn’t spoken too soon and acted out. He felt like the world’s biggest fool, especially when you harboured no ill-will and was just reminding him to put his goals first during this career-defining season. In this sense, he had to thank you for setting his course straight again. 

“I’ll score all my goals for you, angel,” he promised. “Each and everyone of ‘em will be in your name. I hope you know that.” 

Your smile widened. “I do, baby. I’m so proud of you. Go get them, baby.” 

He chuckled, the gesture foreign but welcomed. After all, you were one of the only few people in the world he was comfortable enough to let his guard down and laugh in front of. 

“I will. Sleep tight, Y/N. I… love you, baby.”

Another first in this relationship. 

Sae was infamous for whispering his love confessions into your skin after a bout of sex, but never in broad daylight. This sudden shift would’ve scared him shitless if your gentle beam did not turn into a bright grin. 

“I love you, too, baby.”

He let you end the call first, feeling happy for the first time in days. 

Buoyed by this gentle emotion, he searched through some local florist shops, buying the biggest, flashiest bouquet to be delivered to your apartment the first thing tomorrow evening, in the hopes that this tiny gesture would at least show the magnitude of his love for you. 

Rin couldn’t help but find himself back in front of your door. 

Like siren-song, the call of your presence beckoned him to the deepest edge of the sea where an unmistakable drop loomed, marking his impending demise. But, everytime he raised his fist to knock, he chickened out, rushing back to his car with his hoodie pulled over his head and teal eyes downcast. 

He knew he was growing obsessed with the thought of you; felt it deep in his bones like the icky, hot humiliation of staring at Sae’s trophy collection while his bruised ego festered inside, a raging monster waiting to be unleashed. He supposed this is what defeat tasted like—not like he hadn’t experienced a healthy dose of it already in his short lifetime. The mounting frustration felt familiar in the back of his throat, like a scream building and building until it was unleashed in a loud cry.

This same feeling reminded him of using his brother’s achievements to push himself beyond his limits. 

And you… 

You fit in like a missing puzzle; the crucial piece he needed as enough proof that he was better than Sae. A stronger player, man and lover than he ever would be. 

Rin wiped the sweat from his brow, channelling his inner frustrations into dribbling, training on his own away from prying eyes. He was caught up in his misery that he didn’t sense a figure making her way towards him. 

You took in how exhausted Rin looked, the bento box in your hands tightening. 

It was a peace offering; the first initiative on your end to smoothe over the rough patch of how you both began and hopefully be able to salvage what was left of his respect for you. The smell of roses lingered on your body, in your hair, the reminder of Sae’s bouquet leaving a stab of regret lodging deep underneath your rib cage where your heartbeat thumped erratically. 

Through his keen senses, Rin noticed someone approaching, and when his eyes landed on you, you swore they softened before regaining lucidity and becoming detached once more.

“What are you doing here?” 

Gesturing to the tiny, yellow container in your hand, you smiled sheepishly. “I… wanted to apologise for what happened a few days ago.” 

The field was empty save for the both of you, most of the players having gone home after hitting the showers. Rin was often one of the last to leave, and Ego had grown tired enough of his unparalleled dedication (read: obsession) and given him the keys to lock up the space in his own time. 

“How did you know I was here?” 

Shifting your weight from one foot to another, you were acutely aware of his deep frown. Suddenly, you felt too hot under the collar, embarrassment scrawled across your features when you lowered your eyes and your shoulders dropped. “I asked around for you. Said your mom passed me your dinner and they let me in.” 

Rin scrutinised you from head to toe, not saying a word. The silence stretched on, and you were halfway cajoling yourself to leave when he stepped forward. 

Yes, you were pretty sure Rin’s towering physique registered in your mind, but you never gave yourself time to really absorb how tall he was. A good head and half above you, Rin bore down easily on you, the heat emanating from his broader frame making you dizzy. The smell of freshly cut grass and musk radiated through his sweaty pores, and you felt the irrational need to take one step closer and bury your face into his chest. 

Instead, you reeled in the disastrous thought and pushed the bento box into his hand, ignoring his confused stare. 

“I should get going… you need to rest and recharge so I won’t disturb,” you mumbled hastily, unable to take another second of this aching tension. Your mind swirled with a thousand and one thoughts at the same time, and they all came crashing down when he reached for you, his touch gentle around your wrist. 

“Rin—”

There were no words to elucidate how comforting his embrace was around you, or how it felt like falling into the softest mattress after a hard day at work. Your squeak was muffled by his lips on yours, rough fingers tilting your head back to kiss you while his other arm was around your waist. You were growing dizzy from the lack of oxygen and the feel of his soft, slightly chapped lips on yours. 

Before you could dissolve into a puddle on these artificial fields, he released you, holding you close to his chest, every rise and fall of his breathing melting warmth into your back. 

Twining your fingers with his above your waist, you rubbed your thumb across his knuckles, memorising the smooth skin which was a stunning contrast from his calloused fingers and scarred palms. Rin let you hold his hand, quietly marvelling at how much bigger the flat of his palm was in comparison to yours. Long, slender fingers like a pianist encased your own smaller ones in a loose hold, and you both let the tender silence fall wherever it may. 

“I can’t choose,” you whispered after a moment of words unsaid. 

Rin stared at the curve of your shoulder, hidden by the loose cotton blouse you wore. He ached to push it aside, to press his lips right onto the warm skin which held the power to make him lose his mind. This close, he could smell the intoxicating vanilla coming from the crook of your neck, breathing in the smell of baby powder wafting from your hair. 

“I’m sorry, Rin. I can’t choose between you and him.” Closing your eyes, he felt more than heard you stifle a sob. “I love you, too. I hope you know that.” 

“But, you love him?” His voice was flat and emotionless. Thankfully, your back was turned so you couldn’t notice his brimming eyes. “Why is it so hard to choose?” 

“I don’t know,” you mumbled almost inaudibly. The wind picked up, its frigidity making goosebumps erupt on your arms. “I wish I could choose you, but it’s not that simple.”

“Why not?” he started to argue, releasing his grip on your hand and taking a step back. The inches between you both felt like an ocean separating you two, and no matter how much he wished for there to be nothing standing in the way, somehow his brother would always be the biggest obstacle to any goal he wished to attain in this life. 

Including your love. 

“S’not like you both are married,” his voice sounded hollow even to his own ears. “Don’t you love me?” 

Your breathing hitched, and you finally turned around to face him. He wished you didn’t. The tears glossing your eyes was enough to break his heart, and he wished with all his might that you would see reason; come to your senses and choose the better brother. 

But, all you did was shake your head, dislodging a single tear trickling down your cheek. He watched it make a silvery path from your jaw to your neck, his tongue itching to retrace its track. 

“I do, Rin. But, god… I don’t know you. I don’t know you but I’m so attracted to you and I can’t stop thinking about you. Sae… he called me the other day and we had phone sex, but after it was all done, all I could think about was you. You drive me crazy, and—” your voice started to break, lower lip wobbling. “I know you think I’m disgusting. A cheater. But, Sae needs me. We’ve always needed each other and I’m afraid that if I let him go, I’ll be throwing a part of me away.” 

Dropping your head, you exhaled a laugh that sounded on the verge of a sob. “Maybe it’s best if I never knew you. Or him. I think it would be easier on the three of us.” 

Rin listened as you unburdened those heavy emotions to him without a single word. When you finished, he turned his head to the side, jaw tight with fury and heartbreak.

“Fine,” he mumbled. “You’ll get your wish.” Pushing the bento box back into your hands and ignoring your small gasp of hurt, he strode away. “Let’s pretend like we never knew each other, if that makes it easier for you.”

“Rin—!” 

He quickened his pace and you tried to catch up to him. “Rin, wait!” But, he would always outrun you, and when he got to the doors, he heard your cry of his name turn into a shriek of pain. 

Turning around, his eyes widened at your hunched figure on the ground, holding onto your ankle. The bento box you carried had slipped from your grasp, grains of rice and meat scattered in a heap on the ground. 

“Ow,” you moaned, hissing in pain. “Ow. Shit… shit…”

He was back by your side immediately. Barely giving you time to think, he slid one arm underneath your knees, and another under your arms to lift you from the ground. The sudden position released the pressure off your ankle, and he didn’t need a certificate in sports medicine to know you had strained the muscle. 

“Lukewarm loser,” he muttered under his breath. “Such a huge, fucking pain.” 

You kissed your teeth and continued moaning softly, arms wound tightly around his neck. Rin sat you down on the bleachers and went into a backroom, returning a minute later with a first aid kit. Mimicking the movements you did a week ago when you first tended to his sprained oblique, he sprayed a cold mist over the injury, picking up a bandage to wrap around the torn muscle. 

“Stay still,” he warned, forming a tight tourniquet around the injury, straightening your foot to set the muscles right. Your gritted teeth and muffled wails would’ve made him mock you in return for breaking his heart, but Rin kept his lips tightly shut and focused on bandaging you up. 

You could barely walk when he was done, and in a fit of exasperation, he carried you to his car, setting you in the front seat. 

“Rin,” you mumbled pathetically, eyes shining and lower lip wobbling. “W-where are you taking me?” 

“My place,” he muttered curtly. “Unless you have someone to watch over you 24/7 while that stupid ankle of yours heals?”

Shamefully, you shook your head. Your family was in another prefecture, and your social circle was limited to clients and few fair-weather friends you saw once a month. There was no one to take care of you besides this brooding, dark-haired striker who looked like he would rather wade through molasses than do this. But, despite his disquietude, Rin took this newfound responsibility in stride. 

He brought you to his apartment, letting you lean against him as you took one mincing step after another. 

The fact that you could still walk, albeit hesitantly, was a good sign. Your injury would take a few days to heal, tops. 

Rin guided you to the sofa, and you sat with a huff. Taking off his jacket, he disappeared into the kitchen, and reemerged a second later with a bottle of isotonic drink. You took it with a nod of thanks and popped the cap off, drinking deeply. 

“What about your work? Can you move around with a busted ankle?” 

You slid your gaze to the tightly wrapped bandage and shook your head. “I don’t think I can. I’ll just let my assistant handle it for me while I take a few days off.” 

He exhaled, settling back on the end of the couch, putting some much needed distance between you two. 

“I don’t know if Sae would find out—”

“I don’t want him to find out—”

The both of you fell silent, each other’s trampling words on the same topic drawing a quiet consternation. Rin started again. 

“I think you should tell him you’re staying with a friend while your ankle heals.” 

“What if he insists on video calling me?” Your tense question was met with furrowed brows. Rin’s answer took you by surprise.

“And, what? Recognise my penthouse? Sae hasn’t visited me… not even once.” 

At the reminder of how starkly broken their relationship was, you fell mute. Rin salvaged the silence by sighing. “In any case, he wouldn’t know… or, care.” His lips were flattened into a tight line. “Sae’s a lot of things, but considerate and kind was never on his list.” 

“What happened between the both of you?” The question you had harboured for close to a week spilled over in a bursting bubble, detonating the tail end of his statement like a punch in the gut. You glanced at him and found a dark look settling over Rin’s face like a cloud, his already tight jaw ticking. 

When you first started dating Sae, it took him weeks to open up to you about his family and past life in Japan. The both of you met during one of your tours in Spain and you were called upon by the Madrid team to tend to one of their mid-fielder’s recurring injuries. Your impression of Sae when you met him for the first time was that he reminded you of a piece of paper.

His blank expression and dull eyes cracked a smile from you, and though you were the perfect picture of professional friendliness, you barely left a mark on the famed Japanese prodigy’s composure. 

At least, you thought you didn’t. 

A week later, he bumped into you at a nearby coffee shop and asked you out without a beat of hesitation. You were completely caught by surprise that you said ‘yes’ without thinking it through, and two days later, you were sat opposite a quiet, taciturn Itoshi Sae who mostly listened while you spoke and asked one liner questions to keep the conversation going.

One date turned to two, then three and soon, you were pressed flush to his bed, sweaty and sore from his rough handling. In the quiet afterglow, he started crumpling; the first crinkle appearing on his otherwise pristine surface. Behind this impassive man was a world of secrets written in indelible ink that you were slowly unwrapping day by day. 

Rin, however, reminded you of still waters that ran deeper than any ocean in the world. 

Collected on the outside, one wrong foot would leave anyone plunging to an icy death within his intense grip. He held an admirable composure which rippled occasionally when you disturbed his surface, but his state of detached calm would return a second later, barely fazed. 

It made you want to dip your toes deeper, try to find what made those murky waters eventually give way to a calm stream worthy of an oasis.  

Rin’s silence had no end, and you couldn’t tell if he had heard you in the first place. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he muttered churlishly and stood up. 

“Oh,” you quickly nodded. “I’m sorry for encroaching. I won’t do it again if it makes you feel uncomfortable.” 

He had a funny way of showing his appreciation for you respecting his boundaries. Rin blinked owlishly, his long lashes casting shadows on his cheekbones. While Sae’s lashes had a hint of reddish brown to them, Rin’s was darker and lusher, framing his pretty teal eyes perfectly. 

It made you want to drown in those aquamarine pools; give yourself up to his seductive currents.

Would that be a better choice? 

You swallowed and glanced at the beads of condensation running down the plastic bottle in your tight grip. 

Would it make everyone happy if I chose him? 

He chased those heavy thoughts by scooting closer to you. The smell of sweat and vitality stung your nostrils, but you didn’t pay it any mind, tilting your head up towards him to drink in his unfairly pretty features. His dark green bangs flopped in his face, touching his cheeks as you gently pushed them aside. Rin closed his eyes tightly, releasing a tired sigh.

“Do you mean it? Do you love me?” 

Your whisper ignited his curiosity, and he fluttered his eyes open to find you gazing at him with uncertainty lining your features. You bit on your bottom lip when he took awhile to answer, riddled with fear at baring yourself with such vulnerability to a man who you didn’t even know you could trust. 

As you mulled over such a foolish impulse, Rin took this moment to rake his gaze right to your lips. Barely a few seconds into your spiralling dismay, you flicked your lids open to find him moving closer, his lips on yours silencing your sudden squeak of fear. 

This time, Rin’s kiss moulded an answer he could not give to you outright. It would be too traitorous to think of uttering it; to make himself form those words which would seal the deal. 

Catching your face in his large palm, his warmth bled into your cheek, aided by the plush balminess of his lips and the taste of him on your tongue. Tenderness could not begin to describe how Itoshi Rin was treating you—like you were made of glass and precious secrets he did not want to spill towards any undeserving ear. 

The capped isotonic bottle fell to the floor, making a ‘glug’ sound when it rolled underneath his expensive couch. Rin guided you onto your back, laying you flat on the plush surface and raking his heated stare down the dip of your bare collarbones and towards the hem of your pretty blouse riding up to expose your soft belly. 

His arousal and common sense flooded south, and he couldn’t wait to roam his hands down your sides, memorising the feel of your breath expanding through your entire body, reaching for your hips and squeezing—

“Ow—Rin!” 

He quickly jerked away like he was scalded with hot water, your teary eyes and tight grip on your wounded ankle slamming him back to reality. You curled onto yourself, riding out this wave of agony while his hands fluttered about uselessly, trying to decipher what he did wrong. 

“Knee,” you managed to wheeze out through your gritted teeth. “Your knee—oww—pressed onto my calf.” 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, easing you up into his lap to take pressure off your sore leg. “The muscle spasms must’ve reached that region.” Frowning to himself, he slid you back to the couch and lumbered into his kitchen, emerging with a packet of ice. 

Before you had a chance to protest, he lifted your injured foot and placed it on his lap, pressing the ice pack into your skin. The air filled with sounds of both your steady breathing, and you swore it chased the loneliness away and numbed you to the pain. His presence was a mark upon your soul, steadily growing deeper, and you feared to open yourself towards such reliance. 

His touch was growing familiar day by day, and you were growing susceptible to it. Even the barest brush of his thumb on your ankle bone could make you shiver. Everything about Rin drew you to a crashing stop, configuring your inner compass to point in his direction and away from the true destination you were meant to head towards. 

“You’re staring at me.” 

“You’re hard not to stare at.” 

His frown was back. “Stop that.” 

“Stop what?” 

You pressed your hand to his, feeling both the cold and unbearable warmth seep into your skin. 

Rin gave you a withering glare. “This. Stop this.” He grasped your hand and peeled it off his own, setting it down while he continued to ice your sprained muscle. 

“I thought you loved me.” 

A shadow of a smile curved on the edges of his lips. “I didn’t say it outright.” 

“Doesn’t have to be said,” you retorted, tongue-in-cheek, and he couldn’t help but smile. You found comfort in his expression, reaching out to brush the tips of your fingers across his chin. “Thank you. For this.” 

He shook his head, unable to meet your eyes. “It’s nothing.”

Rin was wrong. It meant everything to you.

Everything and more which you could never say out loud if you were to be honest with yourself for once. 

Days stretched on, and your injury started to heal. 

The pulled muscle grew stronger in tandem with your fondness for Rin, brokenness healing into whole vitality to birth something new and beautiful. 

He let you crash in his guest bedroom, made sure to stock up on ready-made food which you could easily heat up, and returned home everyday at 5 on the dot to help you stand shakily on your own two feet. It was a kindness you did not deserve, and you appreciated every drop of it. 

On the third day, Sae called you up, and you answered him with a meek voice, stating you had suffered an injury and was recovering at a friend’s place. He didn’t push you for more details, and you didn’t offer any. 

It was a perfunctory call at best, and an obligation at worst. 

Your days with Rin grew into a wonderful melange of understanding and kindness. He was a solid presence you could rely on for help when you needed a taller figure to reach for a spare bowl in the cupboard above. His wry sense of speaking evolved into a humour you appreciated, especially when he deadpanned an insult aimed at his unsuspecting teammates. His house started to feel more like a home, despite how you had to chastise yourself from going down that treacherous path.

After all, there was no better addiction than the insanity of falling in love with someone you could never have. 

Thoughts of him fueled you during the day when you stretched your muscles, used his expensive bath soap which lathered perfectly on your skin as you imagined it was his larger palms running the suds in between your breasts, down the valley of your soft belly and between the crevices of your legs. Perfumed with the scent of him, you were charmed like a maiden in love. 

When night came, you satiated yourself in his presence by watching him put on a horror movie for you both to enjoy, and sometimes, you found him nodding off to sleep at the opposite end of the couch, knocked out after a day of hard training. You would reach for a blanket and tuck it over his broader frame, peck his forehead and stumble back to your room. It amused you to no end how he could be out like a light while jump scares and screams reverberated in the background. 

His quirks were endearing as they were infuriating. 

One night, while watching a Junji Ito film, you felt Rin shift from behind you. 

Amidst gory screams and blood exploding, he touched your ankle, rubbing underneath the hard bone with mindful circles using his thumb. His breath fanned warmly across your neck, and he noticed how eclectically perfect the movie lights played out across your features. You were absorbed in this retelling, rapturous in your attention that he felt almost bad for shaking you out of it. 

His touch around your waist was hesitant, and he kept tabs on your reaction. You shifted slightly, an adorable scrunch between your brow. He wanted nothing more than to smooth the crinkle of consternation with the tip of his thumb, amused at how fully absorbed you were by one of his favourite horror movies. 

He trailed his nose across your jaw, using the corners of his mouth to kiss your chin. You batted him away with a low whine, “Rin, m’tryna watch.”

Laughing inwardly, his touch idled around your waist, spreading heat on your soft skin. Rin didn’t give himself time to think—to really gauge his true intentions when he tries to distract you. It’s a little game he wanted to play, to see how long you could hold up to his teasing. 

Lithe fingers dance down your belly, plucking at the waistband of your shorts while his other hand cautiously inched up your rib cage. There was a hitch in your breath when he slipped two fingers past the stretchy elastic of his old boxers clad around your waist, as if he were testing the waters of your consent.

But, your eyes never left the screen.

Emboldened, Rin stuck his lower lip between his teeth, growing heady on the thought of your submission on his tongue to taste. He lifted up the hem of your shirt, forgetting that you hadn’t worn a bra to sleep. You’re clad in one of his ancient jerseys which he passed to you in a fit of realisation that you had no clothes to spare when you both made the impromptu decision that you should bunk over at his place for the time being.

Such shortsightedness proved as a win when your nipples puckered from the cool air. 

His preoccupied hand down your shorts found the seam of your clit and he reeled in a curse when he felt the slipperiness of your arousal coating the roughened pads of his index and middle finger. Rin fought back a groan when you bucked your hips up, implicitly asking him for more. Both of your eyes were glued onto the screen, and Rin knew this entire sequence by heart.

He waited for the right moment when the music swelled and the heroine rounded the corner, the shadowy figure above head fully materialising behind her heaving back. You looked terrified, though you didn’t hide your face behind your palms like he expected you would do. Truly, you were braver than he gave you credit for. On screen, the actress sensed movement, and her expression melted into one of genuine terror.

Violin strings broke over in a gasping crescendo when she turned around, finally face to face with the demon who had inhabited her daughter’s body—a faceless entity with a gaping mouth. 

Rin slipped his fingers into your tight heat the same moment the big reveal happened and your reaction was instantaneous. A loud yelp ripped past your gasping mouth, and your back arched higher for him to do as he pleased. Which was a lot considering the filthy thoughts swirling in his mind—the positions he wanted to bend you in and take you till you were a sweaty, shaking mess.

He curled his fingers, languidly pumping them in and out of your slick cunt. Your breathing grew shallower, whinier, and you shifted to trap his hands between your thighs, doe-eyes flitting upwards to his own impassive ones.

“Rin—mhmp.”

Slender, callous fingers slotted past your mouth to pin your tongue down. His crisp command was clear. “Suck.” 

You did as he asked with docile perfection, looking far too precious and innocent for a woman who was gagging lightly around his fingers and undulating her hips in tight circles of pleasure. Rin’s expression remained impassive, but you could tell he was enjoying a taste of your submission from the stiffness poking your lower back. 

He pressed his fingers deeper down your soft gullet, and you gurgled, bubbles of drool forming in the corners of your mouth. You moaned pitchily when he slipped another finger inside of you to stretch you out, scissoring them to reach your innermost spots. With your eyes rolling back into your head and your mouth stuffed full with his thick digits, you felt the coil of heat in your lower belly tightening deliciously. 

Rin was starting to breathe heavier, his teal eyes melting into your wide gaze. The kiss he feathered onto your forehead was starkly different in comparison to the almost rough way he was finger-fucking you. His duality would never cease to leave you lightheaded from the joyous whiplash. One second, he could be the most puppy-like man who nipped at your feet and would follow you to the ends of the world, and in the next, he would be fucking up into you like a wild beast unleashed from years of repression. 

But, through it all, your heart never stopped singing his name. 

You never stopped loving him for even one second. 

“Rin,” you choked, tears clouding your eyes when the pleasure started reaching a point of agony. One hand was wrapped around his wrist to anchor your burgeoning dizziness, and the other curled up in a fist by your side, knuckles stretched thinly over your remaining grip on reality. 

The actress on screen had been killed off by the vengeful spirit and a seance was taking place, though neither of you noticed. All he did was click his tongue, and nodded towards the neglected movie rolling in the background. “Lower the volume—wanna hear your moans.” 

His both hands were preoccupied, so it fell onto you to stretch for the remote and bring the volume bar down. Screams, dramatic strings and outlandish humming were reduced to background noise, your scratchy moans and heavy breathing at the forefront of this auditory fest he wanted to indulge in. 

Rin dragged you closer to his chest, propping in between his two muscular thighs. Stuttering breaths caught and strained through his equally defined torso, and his entire body radiated enough heat to make you break a sweat. 

Prying his sodden fingers from your mouth, Rin resisted the urge to clasp his hand around your neck possessively when you whined and chased after them again, suckling on the calloused tips like how he imagined you would pleasure his cock. The flash of your pink tongue licking and running up and down his thick digits, peeking between the crevices where you deep-throated them with a hunger he never expected, made him realise heaven was real.

It was in the form of your warm mouth suckling him right to his knuckle while your tongue danced along the ridges of nimble fingertips and roughened skin. 

“Slut,” he rasped, fully removing his fingers and clamping them around your neck instead. 

You whined and jerked your hips up, begging him to give you something to put in your mouth as his movements below increased in their pacing. Rin was merciless when he fingered you, quickly memorising your weak spots and fully exploiting them to emerge as the ultimate puppeteer of your body. He knew the spongy spot just below your navel which made your hips twitch up like a nervous tick without fail. He knew you liked to have your clit played as he curled his fingers inside of you. His other free hand reached for your breasts, twisting and plucking your tight nipple till you keened and bowed your head back, enjoying both stimulation with a greedy desperation. 

Touch yourself for me, the memory of your spread legs atop his luxurious blue silk bed sheets and his heated teal eyes latched onto your gaping cunt nearly made you cum right there and then. Show me how you pleasure yourself so I can learn. 

And what a fast learner he was. 

“R-Rin, m’gonna—”

In a flash, his fingers squelched out of your cunt. 

Your cry was part indignation and disappointment. Placating you, Rin stuck his fingers back down your throat for you to clean up. Obediently, you lapped at the salty-sweet stickiness with half-mast eyes, your pussy sucking his other pair of fingers in deeper. Fuck, he almost groaned out loud. I need to have her. 

Rin could barely wait to pry his fingers out of your mouth and perfect cunt to position you on his lap. Perched prettily with hazy eyes and a swollen mouth, his cock ached to be buried in you. Soft pants fell from your parted lips, and you buried your fingers in his hair needily, rocking your core over his leaking bulge. 

“Need more,” your desperate whine made him almost feral with desire. “Need you, Rin-Rin.” 

That nickname falling like a sweet drop of dew from your honeyed lips snapped his patience. Pushing down his pants, his cock sprung out, slapping his lower belly and smearing a bit of pre on the toned muscle. He ripped the old jersey off from your frame, uncaring that you cried out in pain when the hem caught and tugged on your earring. All he did was pinch and lick your nipples into stiffness as you struggled to untangle the fabric from the caught hook. 

Once the knotted thread was free from the sterling hook, he urgently tossed his jersey aside, focused on your shorts now. He pitched his head forward to rub his burning cheeks in between your breasts, mouthing and licking the plush flesh while he kneaded your ass eagerly. You lifted his face from the refuge of your body to smash your mouth sloppily onto his, and in the background, the credits rolled, a slow, sombre tune which lended a touch of melancholy to this heated scene. 

Ripping the worn out shorts off your frame, he laid your bare body flush against his. The press of both your weights on his tailbone made it hurt, but it was worth the pinch of discomfort when you lifted your hips and gently grasped the base of his drooling dick. Giving it a few pumps, Rin’s loud gritted teeth and flushed cheeks spoke volumes of his tethering patience. 

He was close to snapping at you to push him inside of you when you grasped the leaking head and gently nudged it past the tight, maddening muscle. No matter how many times you let him in, it still felt like the first time. 

Despite the stretch, his girth and the sting it took for you to take him fully, you always did it like a champ without complaint. You would always, without fail, kiss him when he bottomed out inside of you—a soft peck of your lips on his that ignited his flame of obsession for you even more. 

The way how your warmth melted around him like a velvet popsicle could’ve filled his chest with all the happiness in the world. Your strained moan, like you were pushing your ample desire past a sieve, would fill him with burning pride at being yours.

Because as much as you belonged to him, he belonged to you, too. 

Those thoughts barely made a dent on his composure; what did was the sight of your pussy wrapped almost lovingly around his cock, the slick flesh sliding up and down his thick length, leaving rings of white from base to tip. 

“Fuck, baby,” he cussed, grabbing onto your hips, mesmerised by the sight unfolding before him. “S’fucking good slut… so wet f’me…”

You took his praise in stride, letting it fuel you to please him even more. Pressing your palms flush on his shoulders, you used the strength of your thighs to pump, swivel and buck your hips—riding his cock with a passion he had never seen a woman possess. It blew his mind, leaving him gaping, groaning and woozily locking eyes with you. 

Rin’s fleeting kiss on your forehead was done in an unsteady motion, and his grip tightened on your body till you swore he would leave bruises behind. His breath was hot on your chin, and his tongue was back in your mouth, desperately tangling with your own tongue. 

One large hand slid from your hip to between your legs, his thumb finding purchase on your slick clit, rubbing tight circles to stimulate you on both ends. You tightened your grip in his hair, and undulated your hips in quicker circles, breath coming out in laboured pants. 

Rin ducked his head to take one hard nipple in his mouth, suckling on the throbbing flesh and tonguing it until it went completely hard enough to cut diamonds. He pulled back slightly, strings of spit connecting his mouth to the heaving flesh, and he kissed around your areola, smearing saliva and his devotion across your skin. 

You squeezed down on him the same moment he took your tight bud back into his mouth, happily licking and sucking it like it was his favourite candy. 

Not many words were shared between you two, but it wasn’t necessary; the whispers of your body and heavenly sounds of ecstatic moans and grunts were enough to transcend the boundaries of speech. The sloppiness of your sexes connecting was loud in the quiet, filling his home with the stinging scent of sweat, musk and wild desire. 

The sight of your tits jiggling in his face, your hips stuttering and pussy dripping around his pulsing length nearly triggered Rin’s release. But, he held back by picturing gory murder and disembowelment scenes, breath growing heady and heavier. 

Your own breathing was becoming stuttered, and electrifying his ego to great heights. He was close to breaking his own rule to never mark up a woman that wasn’t his, when his control dissipated and his lips were latched around your pulse point. The hot seal of his mouth on such a delicate stretch of skin made you throb all over, and you didn’t push him away, tilting your head back to receive him even if it would leave a mark—letting him do whatever he wanted to you. 

“Fuck,” he moaned in between desperate suckles. Hot open-mouthed kisses fell intermittently like a summer drizzle on your collarbones and shoulders, but his lips would always return to that same spot which was starting to burn from his branding. 

You whined and arched your back, turning around to glimpse both of your figures on the darkened TV screen. The stretch of his cock prying you open was magnificent, nearly making you cry out with euphoria. His muscular, thick thighs on either side of you were trembling, and the sight of his big hands on the delicate curve of your spine made you think the unholiest thoughts when it came to staking your claim on Itoshi Rin.

Returning the favour of his mark on your neck, you pressed your lips to the spot underneath his right ear, sucking the sensitive skin there in between sloppy kisses up and down his throat. Rin’s hot breath fanned across your shoulder, leaving you intoxicated on his passion and desire. 

His hips bucked up into yours, and he pressed your lower body flushed to his hard enough for his pubic bone to grind against your clit. The action, combined with his mouth back on your nipples, was enough to tighten the string of desire deep in you towards its breaking point. 

“Rin… oh god… Rin…” 

He has never paid much attention to how his name sounded like coming from anyone, but when it was you, he found that the cadence of it was far more magical than he expected. 

“Y/N,” he reciprocated in his strained, low baritone. “Fuck… so well for me…”

Disjointed words, heavy breathing and grabby hands made a hazy mark in your dizzy mind. 

You were so far gone that all it took was a few precise circles on your clit with his thumb to get your release crashing down, triggering his own. 

The sensation of your pussy melting around him had Rin seeing stars behind his tightly closed lids. His stuttered growl of your name was buried in your neck, and with a few more thrusts, he spilled fully into you; white hot strings of pure fertile devotion pumped deeper into you with a few more sloppy thrusts. 

“Rin… oh… shit, baby.” You cursed the same moment you tiredly smushed your lips to the corner of his mouth. “Oh my god, baby…”

You had never came at the same time as a lover in your entire life, and the experience was enough to render you speechless with a cresting emotion you could not name. Hot tears slipped from your closed eyes and splashed onto his shoulder. Rin didn’t point them out, nuzzling your cheek tiredly to comfort you. 

Exhaustion fell over both of you like a warm blanket. Both your limbs were tangled, slotting naturally like pieces meant to fall upon the other. His breath stirred your hair and your lips were pressed to his neck, his arms a tight vine around your torso. 

You played with the dark locks at the nape of his neck, marvelling at how soft they were. 

“What’s on your mind?” Rin’s soft question knocked you out from your reverie, and you tried (and failed) to hide your growing smile. 

“Nothing,” you mustered, pressing a quick kiss to the developing mark under his ear. He wasn’t amused by your deflection, smacking your bottom lightly. 

“Tell me.”

Biting your lower lip, you pried your face from its sanctuary of his neck, fixing him with a tender smile—one that knocked the breath from his lungs.

“I was thinking about you… and us… and how I want this to never end.” 

Whatever that sparked between the two of you seemed to grow out of control like a wild flame; razing down the steep trees shading his consciousness as easily as if they were straw dolls. Instead of being terrified, Rin found such destruction beautiful, the glow of the flames drenching him with warmth, the thunderous falling wood filling his ears with brown noise. 

“Yeah?” he goaded the flames further, fanning them into a high arc through his slowly growing smile. “And why is that, baby?” 

“Because I’m in love with you, Itoshi Rin, and I want to be with you.” 

Your next words made an explosion ring in his ears, pushing him to discard every shred of rationality just to keep you by his side for as long as the world kept on spinning.

“I’m breaking up with Sae the first thing tomorrow morning.” 

TWO DAYS AGO

Sae had no idea how he found himself back in this club. 

The pulsing lights, neon strobes and loud music weren’t exactly up to his standards, but he gritted his teeth and bore it for the sake of his team. 

It was a joint birthday celebration—some young asshole together who had the same birthdate as Leonardo. The club was in full swing, and Sae just wanted to go home and sleep off another rough training session. But, it was as if his teammates had a radar to his burgeoning displeasure. They roped him in for a drinking competition with loud jeers; plied him with shots till the lights lost their edge and he was actually starting to enjoy the music. 

Of course, with word of the arrival of the Spanish football team, came the trail of money-hungry whores. They walked over, plastered on fake faces and bodies with their syrupy smiles and talons waiting to sink into the first available man. Those who didn’t have a woman waiting for them back home took the opportunity to flirt, dance and drink together with them while others like him stood by the sidelines, respectfully detached from the entire scene.

The alcohol was wearing off in his system, and he was starting to get sleepy. Sae signalled to Leo, catching the hulking man’s eye from across the dancefloor and gestured towards the exit sign. I’m leaving.

Leonardo Luna pursed his lips, an overgrown blond baby when he shook his head, making puppy dog eyes that would’ve had anyone caving in. Stay for a little bit, you loser—those eyes seemed to say. 

Sae shook his head, a smirk worming on his lips. The other men wouldn’t get it. He had plans to make and a flight to book back home. 

Turning his back, he fished for his phone in his pocket, pulling up your chat. The text he sent you a few hours ago remained unread, and despite how much he wished he could fix this, there was nothing else he could do but return back to Japan and see you again. 

I hope you sleep well tonight, baby. 

He sighed, and pocketed his phone again. There must be a reason why you were acting so distant. 

Sae must’ve done something; said something that didn’t sit right with you. But, no matter how many times he wracked his brain for an inkling of what he did, he would come back empty-handed and slightly more frustrated than before.

Just as he was about to round the corner and walk out of the club, someone ran into him. He could tell it was a woman from the flurry of brown hair which jerked back, and her soft gasp followed with an embarrassed apology. 

Sae blinked, unperturbed and was about to walk away when she called for him back. “Excuse me, sir?” The lilt in her voice sounded vaguely familiar, tasting of home, and when he turned back to fully drink her in, he found her features to be the same ones he saw from the women back in Japan and he instantly relaxed. 

Switching straight into Japanese, he mumbled, “Yeah?” 

In her hands, she held his phone, the lighted screen showing a text message in the notification bar. He took it from her, and she bowed her head in apology once more. “I’m sorry for being so clumsy, I didn’t—wait—you can speak Japanese, too?” 

Sae nodded in confirmation. “I assume you’re from there?” 

Her expression broke into one of relief, a kindling comradeship every human had when they met someone from their home country in a foreign land. “I am. I’m from Kanagawa. And you?” 

Something electric ran down his spine at her words, and he bit back on a wistful smile, keeping his expression neutral to not scare her off. “Same here. What’re you doing in Madrid?” 

The more he spoke to her, the more he realised how her brown eyes which matched her hair seemed to spark back to life. She spoke freely of her job here as a reporter, how much she missed home and strangely, natto. He had to laugh at that, reminded of the fermented beans which were a great companion to rice—the ones which Rin, back when they were kids, would always pull a face at and pass it to him under the table when they’re mother wasn’t looking. 

He told her of his life as a football player and she made a sound of recognition when he told her his name. 

“Itoshi Sae.” Something about how she said his name, sent a shiver through him—a traitorous one which reminded him of you. 

(Fuck, he almost forgot he had a woman waiting for him back home). 

“I hope our paths will cross again someday, Sae.” 

He didn’t reply, nodding in acknowledgement. 

“Wait!” Before he left, she passed him her business card and cheekily said, “In case you want to help a lost Japanese woman find good food around here.”

She handed him a glossy card complete with her name and phone number on it. Noguchi Jina. A pretty name. Of course. She would be living in Madrid for two years and welcomed any help in navigating the big city. 

Despite the warning bells chiming in his head, Sae took the tiny, glossy rectangle with another nod. “We’ll see when I’m free.” 

He ducked his head and walked out of the club, the card he held in his hand burning warmly. Letting go of it, he removed his phone, and it was stupid, really, how his heart kicked up a notch when he saw your name on the screen, before it crashed down with a lingering sense of guilt. 

It was strange—he did nothing wrong, but why did the sight of your sweet message (‘Goodnight Sae, dreaming of you tonight ♡’) fill him with guilt? He didn’t sleep or flirt with anyone; he felt like his mind was playing a sick trick. Maybe he missed you a little too much—felt like he wasn’t giving you enough attention that the reminder of any woman who wasn’t you filled him with shame. 

I should go back to see her. Deciding that it was enough of a reason to take a few days off, Sae texted his manager to let him know he was off for a few weeks, and that he would be back in Japan to spend the holidays. His next course of action was to leave his mom a voicemail that he would take the entire family for a trip to the Hokkaido mountains—yes, including Rin.

Call it sentimental, but he missed those family holidays they used to go on before he moved to Spain, and he wanted to be reunited under the same roof with the people who missed him the most (yes, this included Rin). 

The idea of such a trip filled him with a quiet joy he did not know how to express beyond a small grin, and as he booked his ticket for home, he pictured the wide smile on your face the moment he showed up at your apartment, suitcase and heart open for you to give him a home during his entire stay.

His mother texted him back the same moment his manager gave him the okay. Since it was off-season for Rin, too, he had the time to spend together with his suddenly nostalgic nii-chan who wanted to start making amends for the shit he put his otouto through. 

They were both grown men now, and Sae was coming to find that the older he got, the more he found himself reluctant to hold onto grudges. 

Which was why when Hana told him it was a lovely idea, he couldn’t keep his excitement down when he texted her back: 

Don’t tell Y/N or Rin. I want it to be a surprise. 

Her response was warm and welcoming. 

Of course. Come back home safely, Sae.

Home. He would be going home.

(To you.) 

I’m breaking up with Sae the first thing tomorrow morning.

What a lie that turned out to be. 

It seemed as if the universe had it out for you when you woke up in Rin’s arms the next morning, heart full and head woozy. Your lover was also stirring awake next to you, running his fingers up and down your spine which stretched and arched open for him like a well-loved book. 

“G’morning,” he murmured huskily, sleep still heavy in those gorgeous teal eyes and a small smile etched on his swollen lips. You wished him back and snuggled closer to his side, one arm slung haphazardly across his chest, feeling his steady breathing lulling you back into a doze.

Absent-mindedly, you felt him press a soft kiss to your temple, taking a brief pause to inhale the sweet smell of baby powder from your locks. 

“Are you sniffing my hair?” you teased and he clicked his tongue. 

“Smells good. In fact—” Rin rolled you onto your back, his weight pressing you fully into his mattress. Your sprained ankle was about healed and it barely stung when it was tucked under his calf, calmed by his intoxicating warmth. “—I wanna eat you whole.” 

You hummed, “Why’re you so… big?” 

The thin white shirt he wore to sleep stretched over his broad pecs which were shaking with a small laugh. You couldn’t see his face, but you assumed he was wearing a smirk. “Big in what way?” 

Huffing, you smacked his shoulder. “Your height, dummy. What else would I be talking about?” 

Rin found himself growing more comfortable with you in more ways than he had ever felt around another human being. The defences he held onto tightly for his entire life seemed to fracture and crack around the edges, giving him a sliver of understanding that this was what it was like to connect with another person.

This was how he thought someone would start to fall in love with everything—stupid jokes, colours, new experiences, the sound of tinkling laughter… and something—someone else—entirely.

(This was how it felt like to fall in love with you). 

He was about to retort with a lewd comment which was starkly out of character from his usual detached and withdrawn personality, when your phone vibrated with an incoming call.

His brother’s name on the screen set fire to the lingering joke poised to roll off his tongue, withering his courage and conviction into ashes. The both of you didn’t know what to do; how to react.

The bed had turned from an oasis to an impending warzone.

You shook out from your reverie first to pick up your phone, knuckles starkly pale and a clench in your jaw which reminded him of how the muscle would tighten just when you were about to cry. 

But, you remained dry-eyed and brave, firm in your decision to end it with his nii-chan and choose him. 

“Sae?” 

Rin didn’t need you to put your phone on speaker to hear Sae’s impatient question which reverberated across the room like a distant echo; calling the both of you back to this grim reality—one where the afterglow of last night’s love-making could not protect. 

“Where are you? You’re not home?” 

“Hmm? What do you mean—?”

The colour drained from your cheeks and Rin’s breathing was lodged painfully in his throat when he heard the faint murmur of his brother’s next words—sounding both confused and irritated at your absence. 

“I’m standing outside your apartment,” A deathly pause where two guilty souls and one oblivious one engaged in this fatal romance, this dangerous dance which was waiting to explode up in flames across the screen like a car crash one can’t look away from. 

“I’m back home, baby. Where are you?” 

©️lalunanymph

[newtthetranswriter]

Hellooooo

I wanted to request a Tokyo Revengers fic for Mikey. Platonic. Reader, although not very flashy, has been in the gang since the beginning. Serving in the first division.

It's reader's birthday, but they never made it a big deal, so no one else realized. That is until Mikey tosses them a messily wrapped box at a gang meeting saying, "Happy Birthday" and giving them a headpat.

I thought it was cute <3<3

The gift can be up to you, as well as the time frame this takes place.

Word count: 615

Pairing: Mikey x Reader Platonic

A/n: Hi, thank you for the request. I’m not super happy with how it turned out, but I did love the idea. I hope you at least enjoy it. Anyways, enjoy, have a great day and as always remember to hydrate or diedrate.

    It was time for the weekly Toman meeting. All of the divisions were gathered waiting for Mikey and Draken to show up, and of course they were running late for whatever reason. Anyways, while waiting I just sat back and watched as the guys got in their usual playful arguments about random shit. Watching as Baji and Kazutora teamed up to pick on a few of the younger members, I was reminded of where it all started.

   I had grown up not only a few houses away from Mikey and so I ended up spending a lot of time around the blonde. We have always been extremely close so it was no surprise to me when he came to me asking me to join his gang when he and his other friends started it. Since that day, I’ve been part of Toman’s first division acting as a kind of babysitter for the more impulsive group. Evidently, I was the only one able to stop Baji from setting a car on fire when he was hungry, so Mikey and Draken thought it would be best for me to keep him in check.

   Other than making sure Baji doesn’t ruin Toman’s reputation, I’m a pretty good fighter when it comes down to it. I may not be the one everyone is watching when a brawl breaks out but I can definitely hold my own. Which is another reason I was put in the first division. I had everyone’s back even if some of them didn’t realize it.

   “Hey Mikey’s finally here.” I heard someone shout from the crowd. As if it were a queue to behave, everyone stopped fighting and stood up straight as we waited for Mikey and Draken to start the meeting.

    I had taken my usual spot next to Baji, not expecting much of anything to happen. “Hey Y/n, catch.” I turned at the sound of Mikey shouting at me. Once I made eye contact he threw what looked like a poorly wrapped box at me. Quickly catching it, I looked at it confused for a second but before I could ask about it, Mikey cut me off. “Happy Birthday.” He flashed a bright close eyed smile, patting the top of my head.

    My eyes went wide. I totally forgot it was my birthday, it was never really a big deal to me and Mikey was the first one to mention it today. “Thanks Mikey, I honestly totally forgot about it.” I said looking back at the present. “But you didn’t have to get me anything.”

   “Nonsense, of course I had to get you something. You’re my friend and it would be rude of me to not get you anything.” He said, taking his hand off the top of my head.

   Before I could respond, Baji spoke up from behind me. “Wait, it's your birthday and you forgot about it?” Baji asked me.

   I just shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. And how sad it looks like my only friend is Mikey, after all he’s the only one who remembered.” I answered with mock sadness.

   Mikey laughed at our interaction as Baji decided the best response to my sarcasm was to shove me. “Ok, Ok, enough fighting we have a meeting to take care of.” Draken said, cutting off the shoving match that started between the two of us. With that he and Mikey went up to the front of the group commencing the meeting.

   It warmed my heart for Mikey to get me a gift even if I never made a big deal about my birthday. He was like a brother to me and he remembered it even when I didn’t, which means a lot.

[vaporwavedoggie]

Amethyst

A Peri x Irep short story

So help me Jesus I got back into writing fanfiction

"Hey.. are you willing to meet up and talk?"

The text from his oh so wonderful on and off again boyfriend lit up the screen. Peri sighed and rolled over in his bed. It was 2am, Dev had been asleep for hours at this point. They had been on a break for a few months at this point, and he was actively avoiding every text he's gotten from him. He already knew why he tried to take his god kid, as some way to get back at him for ignoring him. Peri didn't know whether or not he wanted to continue with this relationship. So much fighting. It seemed like they were on opposite sides of the universe considering.. they were opposites.

"Peri? I know you probably won't respond but.."

The notification popped up at the top of his phone. He knew it was most likely going to be some long-winded rant he's sending him at the dead of night because he can't sleep and he's on his mind. But to be honest.. he was on Peri's mind too. He thought to himself 'eh.. no harm in looking I guess' and tapped on the notification.

"Peri? I know you probably won't respond but.. it's been awhile. I miss you and I want to catch up. So much has happened since we've been apart and I want to see how you're doing. Sorry I'm rambling, I probably sound stupid, but I promise you I'm not trying to get back with you I'd just like to catch up."

Peri sat up and ran a hand through his hair, playing with one of his curls. He was debating whether or not to take Irep up on his offer. Whether or not it'd be worth it to have all the pain from their break come up again, whether or not it would just lead to another fight.. he sat there staring at the wall for a good 5 minutes, deep in thought before he picked his phone back up.

"Alright, we can meet up, but it'll have to be now since the kiddo's asleep and I don't have any free time when he's not."

He tapped the message quickly, sent it, then shut off the screen. He flipped his phone over in his hand a few times, then less than a minute later, he got a response.

"That works :) I kind of figured, which is why I texted you now. You've always been a late sleeper.. anyways, meet up at our usual place?"

'Always been a late sleeper? Ha! As if he doesn't stay up until 6am..' Peri thought to himself. He quickly tapped out another message.

"Sure. Give me a few to get ready and I'll be there :P"

Peri got up out of bed and stretched, popping his back. He grabbed his wand off his bedside table and poofed out of his pajamas and into his usual outfit. Figuring he was going to be up the rest of the night, he also poofed himself up an energy drink and chugged it. His stomach hurt a bit from it, but he was too anxious to really care. Lifting up his wand, he then went off to their usual meet up space, which was a small park somewhere in Fairy World. One where they spent the most time at as kids.

Once he got there, he shot Irep a quick text saying he was there, and went to sit on the swings. No one was around since it was so late, so he decided to swing for a bit. Despite being in his 20's, he still very much enjoyed it but couldn't do it around the other fairies without being stared at. He then heard some laughter behind him.

"God, you're such a child!" He immediately recognized Irep's voice and slowly came to a stop. Without even turning to look at him he said "You're one to talk!! I know for a fact you do this too!"

Irep took the swing next to him and chuckled to himself as he sat down. "Well yeah, reminds me of when we were kids.. when things were a lot more uh.. hopeful."

Peri looked at him and smiled. "Eh, I'd say things are still pretty hopeful now. I'm a god parent now! Never thought I'd get my license, haha.."

"Yeah.. I wanted to talk to you about that. I thought you didn't want any god kids?" Irep raised an eyebrow.

"Well.. it's a job, and I figured why not. It seems to be fulfilling, well at least, it was to my parents. And hell, we even exist because of one of my parents god kids!"

"Yeah.. though I worry. He seems a bit.. tough. And from what I've heard, you two argue about as much as we did in high school."

Peri smirked. "Heh.. yeah. He's a little tough, has a lot of daddy issues. But you seemed to get through to him fine. It's just.. I don't know what I'm doing wrong man. I'm trying my best with this kid and it's like.. nothing I ever do is good enough for him."

"Eh.. honestly I could do the thing where I over analyze everything but I know you hate that so I'll save it."

"Actually, it might be useful right now, so shoot."

"Hm.." Irep kicked his feet in the woodchips underneath him, thinking for a moment. "You seem to expect everything to come to you so easily, and have little patience for when it doesn't."

Peri crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

"Ever since I've met you, if you can't do it right the first time, you either.. burn out or give up. You also get.. really angry at yourself, turn inward, and become bitter. You lose patience very easily when this happens."

"Why do you think that could be?"

"Well, a number of reasons.. we've talked about the issues we've had with our parents before. How yours nearly suffocate you with praise and affection to the point where you avoid them and wouldn't even tell them you got a god kid until they found out themselves. You were the first fairy baby born in a millenia, and I hate to say it but because of that you were spoiled rotten. Your parents were over protective of you because of their own mommy and daddy issues, so they tried to make up for what they didn't have by giving it to you, but.. they did too much. And because of that you burn out very easily and it drives you up the wall when it even looks like you're slightly failing. You're an overachiever and expect only good things to happen to you when.. that's just not how life works."

"Hm.. guess you're right.."

"Life is a constant rollercoaster of emotions. You can't just expect only the good to happen to you, you also have to expect the bad as well. Not saying to prepare for the bad or get yourself too anxious by trying to fix things before they're broken, but you know.. accept that good things don't happen all the time. Life has its struggles. That's part of it. And from what I gathered, being a god parent requires a LOT of patience, which is something you don't have a lot of, and self forgiveness, which is something you barely do. I mean, you still hold on to mistakes you made way back in spellementary school!"

"Eh, true. How are you able to gather this much from me?"

Irep chuckled a bit. "You act as if I hadn't been by your side since we were babies. As if I hadn't noticed every small detail about you, like.. how your eyes sparkle just right in the moonlight. It looks like amethyst."

Peri shoved Irep. "Quit being mushy! We're still on break. Plus.. you act as if you don't have the exact same eyes as me."

"What can I say? We're both egotistical little shits, are you really surprised we fell in love in the first place?"

"Hah.. nah.. god, remember how pissed our parents were when they found out we were hooking up behind their back? They tried so hard to keep us apart. 'Anti fairies and fairies should never be together, especially when they are exact opposites of each other, da rules, blah blah blah'."

"Yeah! And then your mom walked in on us and threw anything she could get her hands on at me? Good times."

"Psh, yeah.. we were dumb teenagers, what can I say. And I guess the only difference is a few years. Now we're dumb adults."

They both laughed a bit, and Peri looked down at his feet.

"..I still love you, you know. Even if you decide to break things off with me permanently, I always will."

"Oh, you're always such the romantic! I'm swooning." Peri chuckled and Irep looked into his eyes.

"No, but.. I'm being serious. My biggest regret in our relationship is.. smothering you like your parents did. I didn't realize I was doing it, I.. you're the only one that's ever showed me love. You know how my folks are, wasn't raised in the most loving family so.. I tried to overcompensate by trying to return all the love you made me feel."

"I know, Irep, I know. But.. I don't know, im just so confused. I don't know what I want to do, who I want to be, so I'm trying to figure that all out now."

"Heh, is that why you got a license and took on a god kid?"

"Eh, part of it.. I wanted to see if it would suit me. Besides maybe I'll learn how to be patient from this. Maybe the kid will give me challenges I'm not used to and help.. balance me out. I don't know. I know I shouldn't expect other people to fix me, let alone a kid, but how do I even begin to fix myself when I don't know where to start?"

"Take baby steps. Try different things and see how it works. You're doing good by getting out of your comfort zone now, but you need to remember to be patient and forgive yourself for any mistakes you've made."

"Yeah but.. that's a lot easier said than done. How do I even begin to learn patience and self forgiveness? Where do I even start?"

"Hm.. that's something you'll have to figure out on your own. I know the best way to do it is experiencing hardship period, and I can already see with Dev you will. Biggest thing to remember is he's a kid. He will fuck up. He will make mistakes. There are times where he'll be mean to you, say hurtful things, and get under your skin. But you CAN NOT take it personally. You have to keep in mind he's still a growing human. You've seen how messed up the human world is, imagine going through what they go through with absolutely no magic at all. Sure we had puberty and all that shit but at least the magic made it a bit easier and a hell of a lot more fun."

"True.. I just end up getting so frustrated with him I want to rip my hair out! And you know how much I love my hair! But, I don't know.. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I'm going into this blind aside from what I was taught in the classes. I'm too afraid to go to my parents for advice because they'll just be like 'oh you're doing great just keep doing what you're doing'! I swear, I've always appreciated how you can be blunt and honest about things, it's something I really look up to about you. As annoying as it gets when I don't ask for it.. it is helpful. So thank you."

"Always."

Peri got up and stretched. "You know, Irep. I do miss spending time with you like this.. like our late night talks."

Irep's eyes lit up. "We can do them more often, if you'd like!"

"Hm, maybe. I just have some.. personal feelings to work through before I'm ready for us to see each other regularly again."

"..Yeah. I get that. But until then, I'll be here when you are ready."

"Hah, yeah.. it's getting late. Or I guess I should say, early. The kid will be up in a few hours and I gotta go be a parent.. but before I go.." Peri stood in front of Irep and held his hand out to him. He took Peri's hand, and he pulled Irep up, close to his chest.

"Oh and hey.. didn't get a chance to tell you this, but I love you too. I don't wanna give up on us yet, I just need.."

"Time?"

"Yeah. But before I go, I want to give you something." And before Irep could answer, Peri pressed his lips against his, then broke away from him and put his head on Irep's chest.

"You know, your eyes do a sparkly thing too when I kiss you but I don't have any other purple shiny things to compare them to."

"Hah.. you're a goof. But look at you being all romantic. And you called me mushy!"

"Shhhh." Peri pulled out of the embrace. "Anyways.. I'm going to spend the next few hours scrolling through my phone. Uh.. I'll try to text you when my brain isn't acting stupid."

Irep smiled. "Of course. Take your time, don't push yourself, and again.. I love you."

Peri smiled back. "I love you too." And with that, he lifted his wand and poofed back home.

He flopped down in bed, immediately poofing back into his pajamas and pulling up his phone. He was compelled to look back at old photos of the two before he went back to scrolling mindlessly on social media.

God he wish he could figure his shit out quicker, but like Irep said, he needs to learn to be patient. So maybe this is a good test for him.

[oh-sofarfromhome]

Watch Your Mouth

CEO Harry

summary: an employee makes an rude comment to YN, not knowing who she is

warning: swearing, implied smut

—

YN steps into the conference room with her head held high, confidence radiating from her despite her fashionably late entrance. The sound of her red bottoms clicking against the marbled floor draws everyone’s attention to her, jaws dropping and eyes shamelessly trailing down her body and then back up to her face, in awe of her beauty.

Harry’s usually permanent scowl drops from his face and is replaced with a look of fondness for his wife, kicking the man beside him out of the seat to free up space for her to sit.

The man who he kicked out, Jason, was livid as he found another seat, far away from the CEO. He’d planned to suck up to him the entire meeting, but it’s kind of hard to do so from the other side of the room. He’s a new employee that’s only just started a few weeks ago, not having met YN yet.

As soon as she’s seated comfortably, Harry resumes the meeting, going over the company’s numbers for the quarter as well as discussing bonuses and answering questions for those who have them.

“This quarter’s numbers were down 7.4% compared to the last, so I’m sure you can see where my anger stems from,” he states angrily, his voice booming throughout the silent room, the air thick with tension.

Everyone looks at him silently, except for one person, his wife. “Sorry to interrupt, but I’d also like to add that, compared to last year, we are nearly double where we were, but given the time of year, it is not uncommon for our numbers to trend downward. I do believe that if we maximize all of our income for the next three weeks or so, we should be able to match last quarter, maybe even exceed,”

Harry goes on to agree with her when he hears a scoff from the other side of the room. He looks over to see Jason with an irritated look on his face, but before he can address him he’s speaking.

“Dumb bitch,” Jason mumbles, but in the silence of the room, every single person in the room whips their head to him, eyebrows raised at their oblivious new coworker. All of the employees are holding their breath, awaiting the storm that is bound to come.

“Is there something you’d like to share with all of us, Mr. Hall?” YN’s authoritative voice booms throughout the room before Harry has the chance.

“Yes, I do actually,” he states,

“You’re just a woman anyway, what do you know? I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t even get through college on your own, wouldn’t be surprised if you used your body to get to the top,” he finishes, gasps ringing through the room.

“Jason Hall, your very new contract has now been terminated,” Harry grits out, trying to calm his anger. When Jason’s face fall and he questions why, he is quick to explain.

“I do not tolerate discrimination in my workplace, nor do I tolerate disrespect toward authority figures. You have been here a short time, Jason, but that time is up. Human Resources is located on the 12th floor, I suggest you stop there on your way out,” he hisses, watching Jason’s face crumple as he realizes what he’s done.

“Anything else you’d like to add, Mrs. Styles?” Harry questions, turning to his wife before cutting his eyes back to Jason to see his reaction. He chuckles quietly when he watches the color drain from his face and he starts stuttering out excuses.

“Mr. Hall, I advise you to learn from your mistakes, and learn from them quickly with how difficult it will be to find a job once word of this interaction gets out. Quite frankly, you do not know who you just fucked with. I have connections in every state in this country, and nearly every country in the world. I hope you have a fantastic time learning how to cook at the Burger King down the road. Meeting dismissed,” she replies, her tone firm and unforgiving.

Everyone files out of the room, laughing under their breath at the look on their ex coworker’s face. When everyone is gone, she finally turns back to Harry, a laugh of disbelief leaving her lips as she takes in his blown pupils and heavy breathing, her eyes trailing down to his crotch to see an unmistakable bulge there.

“Really, Haz? I’ve just chewed out one of your employees and you’re turned on right now?” she laughs, the sound being cut off by a desperate kiss being pressed to her lips.

“You’re just so undeniably sexy when you take control. A stark contrast to when we’re at home and I eat you out until you’re crying an-,” he’s cut off by her hand being placed over his mouth.

“Shut up and get on your knees,” she demands, and he’s quick to comply, letting her take control of him as well.

—

[nadvs]

Hiii love, how are you?? I usually don't send asks to writers on Tumblr, so you're the first writer I'm sending to, yayyy 🤗 I loved loved loved the ending of the Watch and Learn, I loved the entire series. Rafe's growth throughout this series was amazing, you write him so well. Because of all your series, I continue to be a Rafe girly, I thought Cam Girl was your best series but Watch and Learn took the cake and I can't wait for you to finish Both Sinners 😊

You really are an incredible writer and I'm so happy I found your blog, you're always on my most recent blogs bc I check your page sm 😅 I really almost cried when reading the last chapter because I thought back to how Rafe and reader were in the beginning and how they are now in the end 😪 They're literally couple goals, I'm obsessed. Oh gosh, I've already made this so long but while I was reading the last chapter, I couldn't help but think back to the girl Rafe hooked up with and how he had the audacity to msg reader after. If it's not an issue, can you feed my fantasies and write a small blurb on reader getting revenge on Rafe and making him sooo jealous for doing that, I'm petty like that🤣 If you can't, it's no worries but thank you for continuing to be an incredible writer and such a sweetheart and for reading the excessively long msg 🥲 Much love hun🩷 Byeee👋

HI HONEY i’m good tysm, how are you!! you are so so so sweet 😭 i feel honored to be the first writer you’re sending an ask to 🥹 thank you for reading my work and sending such a kind message!! hehe my fav part of writing the last chapter of watch and learn was def sprinkling references to all the things they’ve been through since they met and the memories they made 🤭 i am so glad that you loved it 💘

i LOVE this prompt and absolutely can feed into the pettiness hehe 😌

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

It was bad enough hearing Rafe make a girl moan through your shared wall. It was ten times worse when Rafe texted you “his bad” for the noise.

Followed by an lol. What a douche.

If he’s trying to make you jealous, two can play at that game.

You go to an on-campus bar with friends the following Friday night when you bump into a guy you recognize from one of your lectures. Once you realize he’s hitting on you, his eyes trailing down your cleavage, you feel the exciting twist of arousal deep in your stomach.

You invite him to your dorm. He seems shocked you’re giving him a chance. It makes him even cuter.

Rafe just got home from a night at the frat house when he hears you laughing in the hallway. He figures you’re with a friend or on the phone. Until he hears a male voice under your giggles.

He hears the door shut. Then music. Then… damn it. You’re moaning.

He’d be turned on by the sounds you’re making if it wasn’t for the fact that another man was coaxing them out of you.

You’re on the other side of the wall, body buzzing while he uses his mouth on you. He needs some coaching, but he’s definitely skilled.

You’re exaggerating your moans a little bit, unsure if Rafe can hear. When you hear thudding on the wall, you know he can.

Rafe’s fist is burning as he knocks on the wall, trying to get you to quiet down. He wants to say he’s just annoyed that you’re being loud this late at night, especially after you’re so self-righteous about quiet hours, but he knows jealousy when he feels it.

And this is jealousy.

When you get on top, your moans aren’t as exaggerated anymore. You feel genuine bliss as you ride him, controlling the pace, feeling his hands on your hips.

He’s not a talker at all, so you can’t help but think of the things Rafe says during sex.

Suddenly, the knocking is on your door instead of your wall. You meet your classmate’s eyes and laugh with him, taking a pillow and covering your body with it as you answer the door.

Rafe is standing in the hallway, jaw tight.

“Check your phone,” he says. “I’ve been texting you.”

“I’m… kinda busy,” you laugh.

“Yeah, I can hear,” Rafe mutters. “I think everyone on our floor can.”

“Don’t be jealous,” you tease, hoping he gives it away that he is. When he looks away with a scowl, you’re pretty sure he is.

Rafe can’t take it anymore. He tilts his chin forward, straightening up as much as he can.

“She moans louder when she’s with me!” he half-shouts into your room.

“Rafe,” you scold, nudging his arm. He smirks at you and you shut the door, shaking your head.

After your classmate leaves, you check your phone to see the texts Rafe was talking about.

Rafe: happy for u that ur getting some but chill

Rafe: he cant be THAT good

Rafe: you know i can fuck you better

Rafe: CHILL ur so loud

You laugh at the texts. He definitely can fuck you better. But he doesn’t need to know that.

[kindersurprisebacterium]

Replay (Soap/Ghost/Reader)

This is a Continuation of "Record (Soap/Reader)"

CW: threesome, cunillingus, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, anal fingering, anal sex, recording, onlyfans

Gender Neutral AFAB Reader

WC: 2.7k

I sat, tucked under the arm of the beaming Scot. I clutched a beer in my hand, slowly nursing the drink and catching fleeting glances over the rim of my glass. The man who sat before me was one I was unfamiliar with. The first thing I’d noticed were his deep brown eyes, framed with dark circles. He looked like he hadn’t had a decent sleep in weeks. His nose arched, like those on a Roman statue. Thin white streaks of puffy scar tissue adorned his face. I was sure each little line had a story behind it. 

I wasn’t quite sure why Johnny invited me out here. We usually stayed in, drinking and watching movies until we fell asleep atop each other. Late nights spent together had become usual ever since we started recording videos. Of course, I’d be too sore to drive home after a shoot, so why not spend the night with the man I loved so deeply? 

This, though, was different. Johnny never mentioned work while we were together. He refused to bring his work back home. So it intrigued me when he said a colleague was joining us. 

He looked at me in a way that seemed almost predatory. I caught his eyes on me here and there, feeling my cheeks burn every time. I didn’t know whether to feel flattered or afraid. His daunting height didn’t help either, so I tucked myself into Johnnys grasp, clutching his hand tightly in mine. 

Our conversation lulled, as they tend to do. I watched as the two men silently glared at each other, flicking their glance at me, scrunching their brows up, as if having a silent conversation. And then the Brit sat back against the booth, crossing his arms over his broad chest, knees spreading wider. 

“Can we…talk?” Johnny asked, thumb stroking the top of my hand. 

Almost instantly I felt a wave of nausea hit me. I swallowed, nodding silently. My jaw clenched tightly. 

“Y’ know I care abou’ you,” He paused, pursing his plush lips together. Another glance to his comrade. “What’d you think about recording a threesome?”

Somehow I expected this, and yet it was shocking to me. We’d been regularly recording content, dabbling into a few kinks, breaking out a few more toys, but this seemed like a jump. Maybe that’s what we needed, an escalation of this caliber. 

I turned to Simon, who was waiting ever so patiently, silently watching my reactions. The air of confidence he exudes was alluring. Something about it drew me into him. His lips curled up into the faintest little smile. 

“And he’s trustworthy?” I asked redundantly. 

“Saved m’ life more than I can count,” Johnny said with a nod. 

My heart pounded in my head as the blonde shifted closer to me. His hand rested on my knee, daring to slide higher. My breath grew shallow as I watched him take a drink from his glass, brown eyes locked onto me. With a thud, he set the glass down, focusing his attention on me. It felt overwhelming having two sets of hands on me. 

“So scared,” Johnny cooed, gently cradling my face in his palm. “I promise we’ll take good care o’ ye, right Si?”

The blonde reached forward, gripping Johnny’s chin between his fingers. He tugged the scot closer, their lips meeting in a messy kiss. Heat rose to my cheeks as I watched the display in front of me. It felt like something that wasn’t for my eyes. 

Johnny parted his lips, slipping his tongue into Simon’s mouth. A soft grunt rose from the brunette's chest. And then they were pulling away from each other. A silvery strand of saliva connected their lips. 

Johnny's wet lips met mine. I could feel my tense muscles softening as he pulled me into his warm embrace. I could taste the scotch on his tongue, bitter and warm. The faintest trace of smoke lie on his tongue. Broad hands slid up my thigh, gripping my flesh tightly. 

I pulled back, gaze meeting the set of blue eyes in front of me. His pupils were dilated, darkening his irises into pools of navy. I turned, glancing down at the tattooed hand on my thigh. My fingers danced up his biceps, tracing over the intricate ink decorating his pale skin. His muscles tensed under my touch as my hand skidded up and over his shoulder. 

His brown eyes were locked onto me, flicking from my eyes to my lips and back up. I tugged the collar of his shirt, pulling him into a kiss. His lips were chapped, tasting faintly of iron. They moved against me, parting experimentally. His tongue slid across my bottom lip. I moaned into his kiss, giving him just enough room to slip his tongue into my mouth. He tasted of bitter smoke. It made me want to gag, pull away, and take a sip of my drink, but I didn’t. The fluttering in my stomach was too addictive. I chased my arousal on his tongue, hooking my arms around the back of his neck and pulling him closer.

Johnny's lips kissed along my jaw, egging me on. He whispered soft praises in my ear, stoking the fire in my core. I grabbed Simon’s wrist, tugging his hand closer to my clothed cunt. I ached for stimulation, needed it like a cigarette. Pulling back, I glanced at the two soldiers, having made up my mind. 

“I’ll do it.”

“You feelin’ okay?” Johnny asked, softly stroking my hair. If I was being honest, my stomach was in knots, and so was my mind. I lay against Johnny’s chest, propped up against the headboard. His arms wrapped around my shoulders. 

“Yeah. I think we can start.” I nodded. 

“Si,” Johnny nodded toward the Brit. The camera beeped as Simon pressed record. That familiar red light came on. 

Johnny's lips were on my neck, trailing gentle kisses down my jawline. He tugged at the hem of my t-shirt, which was baggy enough to cover my underwear. 

“Can I take this off? Want to show him your beautiful body,” he cooed. My breath hitched, heart pounding from his words. I lifted my arms over my head, letting him pull the fabric from my body. I felt vulnerable with my bare chest on display. I crossed my arms over my chest. 

“Sorry, turn the camera off, I don’t think they’re ready-” 

“No, it’s ok-” I cut Johnny off. My gaze was glued to the ground. The mattress shifted as Simon kneeled before me. He rested his hands on my knees, slowly gliding up my thighs. 

“Look at me,” Simon's voice was stern, but not malicious. He tilted my chin up with his fingers. “Can I kiss you?” He asked, brown eyes flicking down at my lips. I nodded silently. He slowly leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to my lips, and then another, and another until our lips moved together, melding against one another. I hooked my arms around the back of his neck, pulling him closer until his chest was pressed to mine. 

“So good for us,” Johnny whispered next to my ear. I could feel his cock stiffening, pressing into my back. I moaned against Simon's lips. 

“Fuck-“ I spoke through heavy breaths. Simon's fingers brushed against my clothed cunt. The blonde pulled away to look at the mess between my legs. A distinct wet spot bled through my underwear. He dragged his fingers through the wetness before bringing it to his lips. The burning hot feeling of arousal sparked alive on my nerves. My brows furrowed, a whine slipping from my tongue. 

“Taste like sugar,” he grunted, fingers dipping beneath my waistband. Johnny helped ease my hips up, as Simon pulled my underwear down. Simon moved onto his stomach, gently biting and licking my inner thighs. My heart quickened as I watched his blonde locks slowly approach my core. 

Simon's tongue darted out, licking a thick stripe up my cunt. I clasped my hand over my mouth, only for Johnny to grip my wrist tight, pulling my hand away. 

“Wanna hear you, love,” he groaned, watching the Brit perched between my legs. 

Simon dove in, eating me out with fervor. His tongue flicked against my clit, savoring my taste. He moaned against my cunt, sending a jolt of electricity up my spine. I gripped Johnny's wrists, holding tight as my thighs quivered. 

Pressure squeezed my insides, tugging at my diaphragm. My breaths drew shallower, noisier as he wrapped his lips around my clit. I gritted my teeth, quelling the deluge of moans threatening to spill from my burning lungs. And my thighs, how they ached. My calves flexed, toes curling. My fingernails left angry marks behind on Johnny's arms, but the Scot didn’t seem to mind. His blue eyes were fixated on my quivering cunt. 

I ground my hips against his face, desperately seeking more stimulation, just a little more and I’d be over the edge. The tip of his arched nose nudged my clit, earning a whine from my sweaty chest. 

His calloused hands grabbed my hips with a bruising strength, holding me still as he lavished my clit. My voice came out as a choked-out sob, broken and incoherent. My limbs pulled taut, tensing as my orgasm flooded my senses. My extremities tingled, burning as every nerve ending set alight. Hot tears streamed down my face, smearing my mascara. 

Simon pulled away, keeping his hand steady on my hips. The man watched as my breathing steadied, and as my eyes slowly focused. When the haze passed, the first thing I saw was his face. He was gently smiling, pressing soft kisses into the tops of my thighs. 

I pulled at Simon’s shirt, now soaked at the collar. His lips met mine. I could taste myself on his lips, sweat, and the faintest hit of molasses. I pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it aside for later. 

I pushed my hand against his chest, urging him to sit at the edge of the bed. Rising onto my unsteady knees, I turned to face the men. With my two fingers, I gestured toward Johnny as I kneeled before the blonde. 

I rested my hands on his thighs. He stared down at me with wide eyes, watching my every movement. Johnny kneeled beside me, lips meeting mine in a messy kiss. He moaned against my lips, fingers skating along my back. 

I pulled away from his kiss, a string of saliva forming between us. Tilting my head, I looked up at Simon. A deep blush had settled over his cheeks, visible even in the blue lighting. He pushed his shorts over his hips, cock springing free from its confines. Precum drooled from the head of his cock. 

I took his cock in my hand, running my tongue along the head of his cock. Johnny leaned in, sliding his tongue against mine. Our lips brushed against each other as we teased Simon’s cock. 

“Oh, fuck-” Simon groaned, bucking his hips forward. I wrapped my lips around the head of his cock before pulling off, tongue swirling under his frenum. I pulled away, stroking Simon's cock with my hand. Johnny took the opportunity to wrap his lips around Simon's cock and slowly inch his length into his mouth. Drool spilled from the Brunette’s mouth. I leaned in, licking the mess off of his balls. 

I watched as Johnny furrowed his brows, taking Simon deep into his mouth. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip, watching the perverted display in front of me. 

“Shit- shit I’m close wait-” 

Simon gripped Johnny's Mohawk, pulling him off of his cock. I let go of his length, watching Simon's tough demeanor shatter before me. The sounds that came out of him were unrestrained, breathy, and higher pitched than his normal speaking voice. 

“That was hot,” I told Johnny as his lips met mine. His belt clattered as he made quick work of undoing it. 

“My turn?” He asked, pulling the belt from his jeans. 

“Course it is.” I grinned. “Si, grab the lube.”

I pushed my hands against Johnny’s chest, slowly he stepped backward until the mattress brushed against his calves. My fingers chastely undid the button of his jeans. The baggy denim fell from his waist. His fingers laced with mine as he moved to lie on the mattress. I kneeled on the edge of the bed, nodding toward the headboard.

Simon softly took my wrist in his hand. I glanced up at the blonde, taking the bottle from his hand. 

“I can prep him,” I told the Brit with a smile. 

Johnny lay with his head against the pillows. His hands were folded over his chest. A pillow lay beneath his hips. I kneeled before him, prying his legs apart with my fingers. He glanced away, biting at his lower lip. I couldn’t help the smile that came to me. To be unabashedly sucking cock, and then shy just minutes later…I found it adorable. 

With a click, the cap of the lube bottle opened. I spread a generous amount over my fingers and set the bottle aside. 

My fingers wrapped around the base of his cock, gently stroking him as I circled my slick fingers around his hole. 

“Are you okay?” I asked. 

“Just put it in-” he sputtered. His cock twitched in my hand. 

I pushed my fingers forward past the tight ring of muscles. Johnny groaned, jutting his hips forward. I chuckled, stroking his cock faster as I scissored my fingers. The tension around my fingers slowly dissipated as I thrusted my digits inside of him. 

“More, more please,” Johnny begged, throwing his head back against the pillows. I added a third finger, feeling him stretch to accommodate me. I curled the tips of my fingers up, brushing against his prostate.

“That’s good, dear,” Simon placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. I pulled my fingers from Johnny, watching his ass clench around nothing. He whined, blue eyes following me as I settled over his hips. I guided his cock to my soaking cunt with my hand and slowly sank down. My eyelids fluttered shut as I took the first couple of inches. Johnny's hands gripped my hips, holding me tight as I worked my way down onto his length. 

Simon’s fingers slid down the front of my stomach, stopping at my clit. I gritted my teeth as he circled my clit with two fingers. 

“Open up, come on, take that cock,” He groaned. I tilted my head back, relinquishing a moan from my throat. Johnny pulled my hips down the rest of the way. Tears brimmed in my eyes as the tip of his cock nestled against my cervix. 

“Shit!” Johnny threw his head back against the pillows. The Brit settled his hands on my waist as he slowly thrust his hips forward. “Fuck- yersobig” Johnny slurred. Simon guided me to move my hips against Johnny, rising and falling to a steady rhythm. The mattress creaked under the weight of all three of us. 

“There you go, open up for me,” Simon said behind me. I shifted my weight onto my knees and quickened my pace. Slapping echoed throughout the room as I rode Johnny's cock. Every time his hips met my ass, I could feel his cock nuzzling against a cluster of nerves. My jaw went slack, vision growing hazy as Simon began thrusting into Johnny. The headboard slammed against the wall with every movement of our bodies. 

“Ohfuck- s’too much!” Johnny whined. “Feels so good-”

Simon reached around, stroking my clit once more. I knew I wouldn’t last with his fingers on me. Maybe that was the point. He rubbed quick circles into my clit grunting incomprehensible words into my ear. 

My stomach clenched tight, cunt clamping on Johnny’s cock as I came abruptly. I sobbed as my body went limp. I fell forward into Johnny’s chest. He babbled, holding me tight in his arms. 

Warmth flooded my cunt as he came, cock twitching inside of me. He silently tossed his head against the pillows, face contorted into a grimace. Simon stilled, cumming soon after. 

The three of us collapsed into a pile of sticky heaving limbs. Fingers tangled in my hair, danced over my thighs, dug into my stomach. Every movement seemed to blur as my scattered thoughts slowly reassembled. 

This was definitely a good idea. 

Masterlist

[marlboro00999]

RECRUITING FOR MAX

The twins were Jonathan's best buddies at school. They were always great fun to be with, and were top at every subject. They both had the same floppy hairstyle and always wore colourful clothes. They were at the heart of every party. Jonathan had secretly masturbated to the twins in the past, and had had a secret obsession for them - but had got over it when he started dating his first girlfriend. Everyone expected them to go to university and be highly successful in whatever they chose to study.

The results of the final exams were published, the twins getting the best results in the whole school, with places in top universities secured.

Jonathan heard nothing from them during the Summer vacation, with no reply to his messages. Jonathan had decided to not apply to uni, and was going to do a trainee course in plumbing. He'd not heard anything from the twins since the school year ended, and when the Summer was over he learnt from another friend that the twins were still in town and hadn't gone to university.

He felt let down by his best mates, having been close friends throughout his school life - but he was shocked and concerned to hear that they were not continuing with their studies.

He tried to contact them again, hoping one of them would respond. He got a surprise when he got a reply, saying they were about to contact him and that they want to meet him - in a parking lot in the industrial area at 9pm. Jonathan didn't know what to make of it. Why there? Why not where they usually met in town? Why so late?

Something didn't seem right. Jonathan even wondered if he should go. Something in his head told him to ignore it and not turn up, while his concern and keenness to meet up with his friends again was pushing the instinct to the side. He'd go.

Having to walk for 2 miles out of town as the evening light faded, he reached the location in the parking lot behind a disused warehouse by 9pm. He couldn't see the twins anywhere.

Suddenly he heard a noise behind him as two figures came out of the empty warehouse. Stood before him, two identical men with shaved heads and puffer jackets. He was startled on recognising his friends, totally transformed.

"Oh hi! he said feeling confused almost intimidated. The twins smiled a cold smile, not the bright smile they were so famous for. There eyes were different. Their normally bright and open eyes were dark and cold. Yet, they were mesmerizing. It had been only a few months since he last saw them at the school getting the exam results. They'd been so happy and warm, excited about their marks and going to the universities of their choice. But, now they appeared transformed. Hardly the same guys at all.

In unison, they said "Jonathan", as their gazes bore into him.

He froze on the spot. Their voices were those of his friends, but some inexplicable authority surged through him. It was both domineering and erotic. Now... that long past sexual feeling resurged like a volcanic eruption in his mind.

His gaze was drawn to the Marlboro logos on their jackets. None of them had ever smoked, and had no interest in smoking... but the logo on the jackets had a mysterious magnetism which instilled confusion in his head.

These few seconds felt like hours, as his emotions and reality swirled around his mind, and his jeans tightly constrained his full erection.

The cold smiles of the twins curled up to a sneer as they saw Jonathan fall under the influence.

One of the twins spoke up "Max wants to meet you".

Jonathan was even more confused. "Max?", he managed to murmur.

Questions he had planned to ask them about uni and why they didn't go had completely gone from his mind. His mind was empty of everything except for the vision of the transformed twins before him... and the Marlboro logo on their jackets that was eating into his mind.

"Yes. Max. Our Boss at the Marlboro Men's Club. He wants to meet you. That's why you are here, Jonathan."

Jonathan began to sink further. He felt intense desire and subordination before the twins. Instinctively, he knelt down before them. It seemed like madness. What was he doing?

"That's right, Jonathan... That's right", said the other twin in a low and calm voice.

"You are doing really well."

They both took out a pack of Marlboro Reds cigarettes and each of them lit one and began to smoke... then one of them lit a second and handed it to Jonathan.

He took it and placed it between his lips as he knelt there before them; his mind consumed in an erotic ecstasy and feeling of deep subordination... to the twins... and to Marlboro.

Without a word needing to be said, Jonathan inhaled on his first cigarette as the twins looked down on him with a triumphant smirk.

Jonathan's eyes flitted back and forth between the dark and powerful gazes of the twin and the Marlboro logo on their jackets. Everything was sexualised... their penetrating gaze into him, the Marlboro logo, the shiny puffer jackets... the cigarettes... and the rush of the smoke filling his lungs with it's tar and nicotine. It was the most overwhelmingly intense and sexual experience he'd ever known, and he wanted more... much more.

"It's your time to join us, Jonathan.... Max is waiting for you... Come with us, now."

As if in a trance, Jonathan obeyed, got to his feet, and the twins led him through the door of the disused warehouse as all three of them dragged on the Marlboro Reds between their lips.

Continuation from The MARLBORO MEN'S CLUB Part 1

[sequinsmile-x]

Our Great Divide - Chapter 4: Beyond the Terror in the Nightfall

It's what they'd hoped would happen for years. For close to a decade it's what they would talk about late at night whilst snuggled up in bed together, quiet voices whispering about a life where Jack and Haley came back, where Jack could meet his siblings and their family would finally feel complete. Now it was finally happening, Emily had a pit in her stomach. A heavy weight made of fear and guilt as she worried that this could actually be the thing that tore them apart.

A Foyet Arc AU

-x-

Hi friends <3

I continue to be blown away by the love for this fic, thank you so so much. This is such an interesting perspective to explore their story from and it means so much that you're enjoying it too <3

As always, let me know what you think of this chapter !

-x-

Warnings: Full list of warnings can be found on the Master List

Words: 4.1k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily’s grateful to have Stella in her lap. The reassuring and familiar weight of her youngest keeping her grounded as they had a family conversation Emily had pictured so many times. She’d semi-practised it in her head when hope had a hold on her, but the reality of doing it was so much more difficult than she’d imagined. 

“Do you understand?” Aaron asks, Leo and Hugo sat on either side of him, matching expressions on their faces that usually brought her joy. Hugo nods, his lips pressed together as he speaks first. 

“So Jack and Miss Haley are back home?” 

Aaron nods, his arm around the boy's shoulders as he tugs them closer, his need to have his children near as strong as it had ever been. He smiles tightly at Emily before he responds, “That’s right.” 

“Can we meet them?” Hugo asks, his innocence allowing him to be excited, “I’ve always wanted a big brother.” 

It feels like a punch in the gut, the reality that in another life, when things had been simpler, Hugo would have always known his older brother. That they’d have grown up together and been close. Jack’s resistance to even hear about his siblings, whilst understandable, had hurt Aaron more than he’d admit. His naive fantasy that this would work out the way he’d been dreaming of for years crumbling around him. 

“We’ll take this one step at a time, baby,” Emily says, replying for her husband, “We’ve got time,” she smiles when Hugo nods, his disappointment silent but clear. She looks at Leo, her heart clenching at his confusion, “Do you understand Leo?” 

He nods but furrows his brow, “Do you think he’ll like me?” 

Emily tilts her head, “Who sweetie? Jack?” 

Leo nods again, “What if he doesn’t like me?” 

Aaron is snapped out of the semi-trance he’d fallen into at the shake in his son’s voice, and he tugs him closer, kissing Leo’s dark hair, “Of course, he’ll like you,” he smiles softly, “Everyone likes you, buddy.” 

Emily smiles as Leo beams and she turns her attention to Stella, tilting her head as she looks down at her little girl, “Do you understand sweet girl?” 

“The bad guy is gone, and Jack is home,” she says, summing it up in such a way, her sweet voice making it sound even more innocent, that Emily pulls her closer on instinct, kissing the top of her head. 

“That’s right baby,” she says, smiling when Stella turns to wrap her arms around her, always keen to be in the arms of one of her parents, “Do any of you have any other questions?” She asks, and Leo raises his hand, something he’d started doing since he’d learnt it in school, and she chuckles, “Yes Leo?” 

“Can we have pizza for dinner?”

She laughs, unable to stop herself, and she feels a little lighter when Aaron does too, the speed at which their children had accepted something so complicated so easily enough to ease some of the tension that had settled over them. She looks at Aaron, who nods, his smile as relaxed as she’d seen it in days, and then she looks back at her youngest son, “Yes, baby. I’m sure we can manage that.” 

They have dinner together and it feels normal, like the last week or so hadn’t happened, and Emily feels guilty for how grateful she is. Aaron puts Stella to bed, and then Emily puts Leo to bed, taking more time than she usually would as she does it, revelling in the one-on-one time with her youngest son as she reads him a story until he falls asleep against her. When she makes it back downstairs she hears laughter, twin giggles from Aaron and their son as he gives Hugo a piggyback around the hallway. It was a game they’d played since Hugo was small, small enough that it had worried Emily at first, her mother’s instincts kicking in as her toddler laughed so much on his father’s back that she worried he’d fall. She stands back and watches them, letting the small piece of normality wash over her as she leans against a wall, her shoulder catching a framed photo of their family of 5 from Hugo’s most recent birthday. 

She’s pulled out of the moment when the doorbell rings and she frowns, wondering who would come over at this time of night. She walks to the door, keen to answer it before the bell rings again and potentially wakes up either of her kids sleeping upstairs. She doesn’t check the peephole, so she doesn’t prepare herself for coming face-to-face with her husband’s ex-wife. 

“Haley,” she chokes out, clearing her throat in an attempt to hide her surprise, “I…wasn’t expecting to see you.” 

Haley smiles tightly, “I felt bad for how we left the other day,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest, “I thought we should talk some more.”

Emily nods and stares at her for a second before she realises she’s still blocking the door. She takes a step backwards, “Sorry, come in.” 

Haley walks into the house. She doesn’t hide how she looks around, her gaze drifting from photo to photo hung on the walls, every corner of their house the home they’d fought for it to be. She turns to look back at Emily, “It’s a lovely house.” 

“Thanks,” she replies, the awkwardness misplaced in her home, “Would you like something to-”

“Sweetheart,” Aaron says, turning the corner, Hugo still on his back, “Who was that at the…” he trails off when he sees his ex-wife, “Haley.”

Emily watches as realisation crosses Hugo’s face and she walks over, helping him down from Aaron’s back, “Why don’t you go up to your room, honey?” She says, crouching down to his level and scraping his hair back from his face, encouraging him to look at her and not the blonde woman standing in the hall. 

“But-”

“Please, sweetheart?” She asks, “I’ll come up and see you in a little bit,” she promises, “You can play the Switch up there.” 

His eyes go wide at the offer, “Really?”

She nods, grateful that bribery still worked now he is no longer a tiny thing that needed to be talked into brushing his teeth, “Really,” she confirms, kissing his forehead, “Just this once, okay.” 

“Okay,” he says enthusiastically, running off to the den to grab the Switch before he trundles up the stairs. 

It’s only when he’s out of sight that she stands up straight, shaking off her husband’s apologetic smile as she presses her hand against his back, rubbing a soothing circle to remind him that she was there no matter what, “Shall we go sit down?” She offers, and he nods, and she looks up at Haley, “Do you want something to drink?” 

Haley shakes her head, “No thank you.” 

They settle in the living room, Emily so close to Aaron that she’s practically in his lap, their thighs pressed against each other as their joint hands settle on her thigh. He’s sure it’s some kind of subconscious attempt to mark her territory, as if they weren’t sitting in some kind of museum of their love for each other. 

“I’m sorry for the other day,” Haley says, clearing her throat as she settles on the opposite end of the couch to them, “Jack is…it’s been a lot for him. He’s a teenager and thats hard at the best of times,” she says, unknowingly repeating what Emily had said when they’d left her office, “And I was surprised at the news that you had children. I just needed some time to…adjust,” she blows out a shaky breath, “I know it isn’t fair. But I don’t think in any of the ways I imagined this I pictured coming back to find out you had a new family. That you’d just…replaced us.” 

Something about the way she says it has Emily’s shackles going up, her back tight with the implication that she and her children were some kind of consolidation prize. A backup that wouldn’t have been needed if things had turned out differently. 

“My family isn’t a replacement, Haley,” Aaron says, an edge of sternness creeping into his voice as he tightens his hold on Emily’s hand, “And I could never replace Jack. He’s my son.” 

Haley sighs and nods, “You’re right. I’m sorry. This is just an impossible situation,” she smiles tightly, “There aren’t any books on it. I checked.” 

Emily smiles, “Me too.” 

Haley returns her smile, her gaze flicking to a picture on the wall, “Your children are adorable.” 

“Thanks,” Emily replies, looking at the picture herself, her children’s matching smiles shining back at her, “We think so too.” 

“How do manage with work?” Haley asks, “I noticed Emily’s name on your old desk, Aaron,” she says as she looks at him, “Did you finally get that promotion?” 

He takes a deep breath, knowing his answer would likely get a reaction, his inability to do for Haley and Jack what he’d done for Emily and their children had been one of the reasons his first marriage had turned to dust around him. Settling on every good memory that had come before it, each happy moment he’d had with his eldest son and Haley marred by how their relationship had ended. By the choices he had made. 

“Actually, I retired when Hugo, our eldest, was born,” he says, watching as his ex-wife’s shoulders get tense again, “One of us had to, and Emily wasn’t ready to leave yet. So we eventually came to the decision that I should.” 

“You…you retired?” She asks, swallowing thickly as a bitter laugh pushes free from her throat, “You did the one thing that would have stopped any of this from happening if you’d just done it years ago when I asked?” She shakes her head and laughs again, “But, sure Emily wanted to carry on working so you retired no questions asked.” 

Aaron sighs, “Haley-”

“It doesn’t matter that my son and I had to hide for so long. That we had to live under different names and break off contact with everyone we knew. As long as you got to start everything from scratch and make the right choice this time it’s all okay.” 

“Haley-” he tries again, but he’s cut off by Emily this time, her fury clear from the way she grips his thigh, her blunt nails digging in through his jeans. 

“You don’t get to come into my house and speak to my husband like that,” Emily says, protectiveness flaring in her lungs, “I understand this is difficult-”

Haley scoffs, “Oh, you understand-”

“But you aren’t the only one who has been impacted by this,” she says, carrying on as if Haley hadn’t spoken, “We’re all trying our best.” 

She can see how tight Haley’s jaw is from across the couch, but she nods sharply, “Okay,” she clears her throat, “I know,” she screws her hands up in her lap, “I think it would be good if we tried to all get together again. Jack would…he would like to meet his siblings. But maybe not here.” 

Aaron nods, the tension in the room thick enough that he struggles to fill his lungs, “How about that park we used to go to? The one near Capitol Hill?” 

“That sounds good.” 

“Mommy.” 

Emily sighs at the sound of Hugo’s voice travelling down the stairs, his patience clearly running out. She looks at her husband and squeezes his hand, “I’d better go up and see him.” 

He nods and kisses her cheek before she stands up, and she smiles tightly at Haley before she leaves the room, not quite able to fill her lungs until she’s out in the hall. She takes the stairs two at a time, smiling when she sees Hugopurposely standing just inside of his bedroom so he keeps in line with her request to stay in there. 

“Hi sweetie,” she says, ruffling his hair before she steps into his room, “Are you okay?” 

He shrugs, his eyebrows furrowed as he sinks into his bed, “Is that Miss Haley?” 

She nods as she sits on his bed with him, gathering him up against her side, needing the comfort of her little boy, “Yes, it is.” 

“She sounds mad.” 

She closes her eyes as she presses a kiss to his head, settling them down so they are lying next to each other, “She is, honey. But I think she’s mostly sad.” 

He frowns as he looks up at her, “Did Daddy do something wrong?” 

She shakes her head, running her fingers through his hair, “No, baby. No one did anything wrong. It’s just…really complicated,” she says, unable to stop herself from smiling when he looks confused, “It’s hard. Like that big puzzle with all those tiny pieces that Aunt Tara got you for your birthday.” 

He nods in understanding and rests his head back against her chest, “I miss things being simple.” 

She smiles again, “Me too, sweet boy,” she says, kissing his head, soaking in the scent of him like she had done since he was just hours old, “Want me to stay until you fall asleep?” 

“Yes please, Mommy.” 

She sings to him until he starts to drift off, his body heavy against her as his breath evens out. She stays with him long after he falls asleep, content to stay in the relative peace she’d made in his room. She sighs when she hears the front door open and close, and then Aaron’s footsteps on the stairs. She closes her eyes and relaxes her grip on Hugo just enough that her husband would hopefully think she was sleeping, the thought of talking this through again, of having to discuss how complicated everything had become again, enough to make her cry. All she wanted was to lay here with her oldest and pretend it was just a normal night. 

If Aaron knows she’s faking it, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he leans over her and kisses Hugo’s forehead and then hers, whispering an apology against her skin before he leaves the room for a second. He’s back with a blanket that he lays over her before he kisses the top of her head one more time. He turns off the light and gently closes the door behind him, leaving her and Hugo alone and safely tucked up in his small bed. 

She falls asleep curled up around her son, hoping more than anything they’d make it through this.

___

March 2013

It had been hours of this. Hours of laying on her back, of being checked on by nurses and doctors as her labour slowly progressed. With each passing contraction she felt more on edge and the only things keeping her grounded were her husband and the thought they’d soon be meeting their son. 

She had a plan. She was going to spend as much of her labour on her feet as she could, letting gravity do its job as she waited for her son to make his entrance into the world. Hugo, it seemed, had other plans. 

She’d felt nothing short of ridiculous when she cried as her due date came and went with no signs of labour - not even a Braxton Hicks contraction which had been happening on and off for weeks. She tried everything to induce labour naturally, her doctor’s warning that she shouldn’t go past 41 weeks ringing in the back of her mind. Aaron bought her every type of spicy food possible. He went to a specific whole foods store to buy her tea, which the internet said would start her labour. They had enough sex to rival the early days of their relationship, with no small amount of manoeuvring and her pile of pillows to make sure she was comfortable. 

Nothing had worked. So her plan was torn from under her and she had no choice but to lay in bed as an IV delivered medication to do what her body hadn’t been able to do for itself. She knew it wasn’t her fault, that it was just one of those things, but it didn’t make it any easier to take. 

She’d wanted one thing about her pregnancy to be as she’d hoped it would be. 

She clenches her teeth to capture a groan, her grip on Aaron’s hand so tight she’s sure she feels his knuckles crack together but it barely registers as the contraction rips through her. She screws her eyes shut as she tries to breathe through it. Aaron rests his forehead against her temple, whispering comforting praise as the contraction reaches its peak and then fades. It had been hours of this. Her body pushed almost to its limit each time, and she was exhausted. 

“Fuck,” she exclaims, resting back against the bed again, “Fuck this sucks,” she opens her eyes and looks at her husband, something she refused to call a pout spreading across her face, “Why won’t he come out?” He opens his mouth to respond and she cuts him off, “And don’t give me any of that ‘you’ve made a comfortable home for him’ bullshit,” she grimaces, shifting her hips to try to find some relief from the discomfort in her back, “I can feel him in my fucking pelvis and I doubt it’s any more comfortable for him than it is for me.” 

Aaron simply leans forward to kiss her forehead, “Want me to get the nurse to come and check on you again?” He asks, his endless patience for her almost irritating. She nods and he kisses her forehead again before reaching over her and pressing the call bell on the wall, “You’re doing amazing, sweetheart.” 

She squeezes his hand tightly again when the nurse examines her, and she’s disappointed that she’s not much further along, the desire to meet her son even stronger than her desire for this to all be over. 

It takes another hour for things to change, for the contractions to get closer together and for the pain to become close to overwhelming, each pass of it through her body almost too much for her to bear. Everything she’s been ignoring for months starts to creep up on her, the fear that she wouldn’t be able to keep her little boy safe pressing down on her chest, her lungs tight as another contraction rolls through her. 

“I can’t do this.” 

She doesn’t even realise she’s spoken outloud until Aaron presses her hand between both of his, kissing her knuckles as the machine she’s attached to lets him know her contraction is coming to its end, “Em, you’re doing an amazing job. You’re so close - Hugo is almost here.” 

She shakes her head, “No, you don’t…” she trails off, her laugh close to hysterical as she looks at him, tears splashing down onto her cheeks, “He’s safe where he is. I can’t protect him when he’s here,” her voice cracks and she thinks her chest does with it, the pressure of everything forcing it to concave as she tries to breathe. Aaron cups her face, rubbing back and forth across her cheek, “I can’t do this. He has to stay safe.” 

Aaron stands up and sits on the edge of her bed and presses his forehead against hers, “Emily, you can do anything,” he says, kissing her before she leans in to rest her head against his shoulder, “You’re the strongest person I know,” he rubs his hand up and down her back, his eyes flicking to the monitor as she tightens her grip on him, her body tense against him as another contraction starts to build, “And I’ll keep you both safe no matter what. We’ll keep each other safe.” 

She shudders out a breath as she pulls back to look at him, her eyes shining as her lower lip trembles, “I think…I think it’s almost time.” 

He smiles softly, “I’ll get the nurse.”

___

She gasps as her son slips into the doctor’s waiting hands, the relief overwhelming as she collapses back against the bed. She barely pays attention as Aaron kisses her temple and then her cheek as he tells her how much he loves her, how proud he is of her. She doesn’t notice how the nurse on her other side pulls down her gown leaving her practically naked. 

All she is aware of is him. 

Hugo’s cry is loud and sharp, and as the doctor holds him up and passes him to her, letting Emily settle him against her chest, she feels a wave of love rush through her, her breath catching in her lungs as she looks at him. He was bright red and covered in god knows what, his dark hair stuck down to his cone-shaped head, and he was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her life. 

“Hi Hugo,” she whispers, kissing his head, “Hi. Look at you,” she looks up at Aaron, sure she’d be knocked over if she wasn’t lying down at the strength of the love in his gaze, and she cups his cheek, “Look at him, Aaron.” 

“He’s beautiful,” he says, kissing her head and then Hugo’s, “Just like you.” 

She looks back at her son, smiling as he continues to cry. She shushes him, resting her cheek against his head, “You’re okay, baby,” she says, “Mommy’s here.” 

“Would Dad like to cut the cord?” 

The doctor’s question is what reminds Emily that they aren’t alone, that it isn’t just the three of them in their own little world, and Aaron nods, kissing his wife and son one more time before he stands up. He pays close attention as the doctor tells him what to do as Emily continues to whisper to Hugo, telling him how loved he is, how much they’ve been looking forward to meeting him. 

By the time they are alone, what feels like hours later, Hugo clean and wrapped up warm in Emily’s arms, and her fresh out of the shower, she doesn’t think she’s ever been happier. She’s exhausted, sore in ways she didn’t know was possible, but she doesn’t think she could sleep even if she wanted to. All she wants is to sit and look at her son, to commit every single thing about his sweet face to memory, and enjoy this first night of his life. 

She looks up at her husband as he barely covers a yawn for the third time in as many minutes. He’s sitting on the bed with her, half behind her as he has his arms wrapped around the both of them, his excitement and happiness tinged with the sadness that followed them everywhere. The sadness that, for once, she wasn’t going to address.

“You should get some sleep, honey,” she says, unhooking one arm from around Hugo as she cups Aaron’s cheek, “You’re exhausted.” 

He chuckles, “You’re the one who gave birth, sweetheart,” he says, stamping a quick kiss against her lips, “You should get some rest.” 

She shakes her head lovingly, “I feel too wired to sleep,” she says, “You’ve been awake just as long as I have,” she kisses him again, “Get some sleep. We’ll both be here when you wake up.” 

She knows she’s hit on his fear in one shot, hours and hours of labour not enough to dull her skills, and he rests his forehead against hers, “You’ll wake me up if you need anything?”

She nods, her forehead knocking gently against his, “I promise.” 

It takes some manoeuvring for him to slip out from behind her, but they manage it without waking up Hugo. Aaron kisses them both and tells them he loves them before he settles onto the cot the nurse had rolled in for him. Emily has to stop herself from laughing when he has to curl up to fit on the small bed, at least a foot too tall to sleep on it comfortably. Despite that, he falls asleep the quickest she’s ever known him to, his arms wrapped around the thin pillow. 

“Daddy loves us so much, sweet boy,” she says, turning her focus back on her son. She runs her knuckles up and down his cheek, smiling when his face twitches against the touch. The fear she’d felt earlier that she couldn’t keep him safe returns in full force, stealing the breath from her lungs as she lifts the baby to kiss his forehead, her breath shuddering in her chest as she breathes him in, “I’m going to make sure you’re always safe, Hugo,” she kisses him again, her eyes closed as she rests her cheek against the top of his head, “No matter what.”