#Laser volcano

[theaterchemy2]

Really enjoyed Gavv Blizzard Sorbei’s debut. I think it’s the first Reiwa super form that wasn’t “now I can punch harder!” and more of a magic knight kinda thing.

The theatre major in me also wanted to take note of the tone of how our three main Riders transform. Yes, I am over analyzing how they say “Henshin” what do you want.

Shouma’s tone sounds very driven, but also even. He’s treating his Rider appearance as just a part of himself, since it could be the closest thing we have to his own Granute form unless proven otherwise.

Hanto’s just fuckin’ pissed. Being a Rider is his mission, his purpose, since he can’t save his mentor, so he’s going all in for revenge. And with the Chocold Gochizo, it’s amped up even further.

Lakia’s tone is dull, as if he couldn’t care less that he’s a Rider. It’s just a job to him.

[torpublishinggroup]

This advertisement is for Starter Villain, a new science fiction adventure from Hugo Award–winning author John Scalzi.

Meet the new boss.

JK this cat doesn’t work for Tor. At least, we’re pretty sure, with remote work it’s hard to tell who is and isn’t a cat. The person posting this could be a cat. You’d literally never know.

But we do know you should check out Starter Villain by John Scalzi, because it does have hyper intelligent cats working for a villainous organization.

WHAT THE BOOK IS ABOUT

When divorced substitute teacher Charlie’s long-lost uncle Jake dies, he’s not expecting much. Certainly not to inherit a supervillain business, complete with an island volcano lair, giant laser death rays, lava pits, and hyper-intelligent talking spy cats.

But it gets worse.

Because his uncle wasn’t just a supervillain. He was a supervillain who was in the middle of trying to take down the other supervillains. Somewhere along the way he decided that the rich, soulless predators back by multinational corporations and venture capital were a bad idea. And they needed to be stopped.

And now they’re after Charlie.

[astrolook]

Scorpio Ascendant: The Mysterious, Intense, and Slightly Dangerous Vibe 🦂✨

No one really knows what's going on in your mind. You keep things hidden, and it makes everyone so curious. You’re like a puzzle no one can solve.

You Have the Best Resting “I’m-Not-Impressed” Face 😒

No one can tell if you’re their Best Friend or their Secret Enemy 😏

When you focus on something, you really focus. Others can almost feel your laser-like attention burning through you. They’re in your orbit, and there’s no escaping it.

You can sniff out a lie from a mile away. And people! Don’t even try to hide your secrets. They will figure them out. No one is safe.

Scorpio Ascendant - They Could Be Your Best Friend—Or Your Worst Nightmare 👯‍♀️

Their smile isn’t for show—it’s calculated. You’ll never know if it’s because they like you or because they’re about to outsmart you.

They’re Like a Volcano—Under Control, Until They’re Not 🌋If people piss them off, be prepared for a massive eruption. They don’t explode often, but when they do, it’s like an emotional earthquake.

You’ll never forget what they did to you, and neither will they. Scorpios have a memory like an elephant. You’ll pay for it later… trust me.

Sharp features, a magnetic presence, and an aura of mystery. Scorpio Ascendant is like the star of a noir film—dark, intense, and unforgettable.

Curious about your birth chart and what it's really saying about you? 🌟 Slide into my DMs for a personalized astrology reading, and let's unlock the secrets of your stars. ✨ Don’t forget to check out my pinned post for pricing details! 🔮 Let’s make those cosmic connections happen! 🌙🌌

[sugar-crash]

🪲👑CYBUG King Candy (Wreck-It Ralph) x (gn) Reader🍭🕷️

(Toothy Kisses Edition)

(Picture’s not mine!)

(Ask here! Honestly at this point I think I should just make a playlist for all the songs I have for these headcanons, lemme know what you guys think.)

- As much as I think he truly loses who he is, including not only Turbo but King Candy as well— I do believe that in some alternate universe he either succeeds in becoming the most powerful virus in all of the arcade or is in this form for a longer period before perishing to the Diet Cola volcano alongside his sugary mutated kin I do think he retains some of those habits from his previous aliases.

- Flipping from absolute bloodthirsty mania and that would make emperor Belos jealous to…. Basically a cat with a laser pointer, playful, definitely the type to pounce on you at times.

- The kissing thing I believe he would still do, but I also do see it turning from a kiss to a lick or bite, just to gross you out, cackling at your disgust.

- As I’ve stated previously, he does use his new form to its fullest advantage, makes that ego of his REALLY pop out even more than it used to… Which is saying something cause… It’s already there and it’s already well-known by not only you.

- Pompous bastard, so so soooo pompous, the type to expect you to not only reciprocate his affections but hang on his every word. He’s self-appointed the head honcho after all, special among the other cybug clones.

- I do think he’d rather prefer you as normal, claims he wants you weak and him strong to establish that power dynamic, and yeah that’s a good portion of it, but he also kinda sees you as one of the only things left of his previous lives and as much as he just loves his new body— He likes to hold onto things.

- Whether it be racing, winning, grudges, he clutches them close and NEVER wants to let go. Just like how he’ll never let you go. Stringing you along just like he used to, albeit less hush-hush and more relaxed, I mean— You can’t exactly leave him! You’re nothing without him in his eyes, and you surely don’t want one of those cybugs to get to you!

- He’ll protect you, he’ll keep you safe, he has all the means to and all the power in the palm of his clawed hands. Every game that comes into contact with him and little friends gets torn apart and unceremoniously eaten to bits, so destructive.. Poor Litwak.

- I do believe he’d rather prefer uses his affection and his control as a bargaining chip to get you to stay with him, that sugary sweetness he adapted from his role as King Candy being useful to him once more.

- I think he gets some weird version of cuteness aggression over you, smothering your face and hands with kisses, interrupting himself to crazily giggle to himself.

- His controlling tendencies are even more pronounced, it just all ties to all of his worst traits being only amplified in that big ass mutated body of his.

- He lingers around you when he's bored of destroying games and such, teasing you both verbally and physically, he always has to either have a hand or an eye on you, violently hissing at any other cybug that tries to get fresh with you. He only gets to do that. >:(

- Talks your ear off, something that’s only been natural with him, but now it’s more erratic and rambly— Tugging at your accessories or hair as he speaks.

- I like to think of him as kinda of a big dog that has the personality of a lapdog, but very aware of the change he went through and almost always using it to get power over you.

- Enjoys flying very much— it’s like driving but he doesn’t need to pop into a kart to do it AND it’s in the sky, not restrained by a track.

- He gets used to it fairly quickly as we see in the movie and flys around whenever he can, making you hold onto him, insisting on having you with him even if you don’t like it.

- Some things never change, and his delight in having your attention is surprisingly more voiced, nothing to be ashamed for, grabbing you suddenly whenever he feels like it to get his daily fix of it before going on his way to be a self-conceited little troglodyte.

- Again very inconsistent, hot and cold. But hey, he’s always kind of been like that hasn’t he?

(I’m super sorry I made you wait for this, I’ve be waterlogged with other things— Inching closer and closer to graduating from high school!)

Tagged!: @hostess-of-horror (thank you so much for your support and kindness! <3)

[srslyblvck]

the devil you know, avengers

pairing: avengers x fem!reader

synopsis: the avengers seem really desperate as they come to you—the person who went under their skin like no one else to help them win against hydra. while they are walking on eggshells around you, you are having fun causing chaos.

warnings: mentions of y/n (maybe), blood, violence, gore

word count: 3.6k

chapter: 9/?

series masterlist

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ THE AVENGERS WERE GATHERED in the briefing room, the mood tense as Tony finished going over the information they’d just uncovered about Hydra’s “Project Eclipse.”

“So, let me get this straight,” Sam said, rubbing his temples. “They’re planning to shut down the country’s infrastructure, unleash a virus, and mind-control half the population?”

“That’s about the gist of it,” Natasha replied, her tone dry. “And let’s not forget the sleeper agents waiting to dismantle everything from the inside.”

“It’s like a supervillain starter pack,” you muttered, crossing your arms. “All they’re missing is a volcano lair and a maniacal laugh.”

Tony snorted, though his expression remained grim as he glanced at Bruce and Steve. “And it’s not just theoretical anymore. They’re ready to go operational. We’re running out of time.”

Just then, FRIDAY’s voice came through, unusually tense. “Sir, I’m detecting an unauthorized breach in the tower’s security system.”

Before anyone could respond, the hum of machinery filled the room, and then, without warning, a swarm of Hydra drones smashed through the windows, glass shattering everywhere. The air filled with the high-pitched whine of energy weapons as the drones opened fire, and everyone dove for cover.

“Everyone down!” Steve shouted, raising his shield just in time to deflect a burst of energy aimed at Natasha.

“Drones? Seriously?” you shouted over the noise. “How unoriginal.”

“Let’s save the commentary for later,” Tony snapped, already halfway into his suit as his helmet clicked into place. “FRIDAY, release their cuffs.”

Your cuffs fell away with a soft click, and the familiar rush of power surged through you, shadows pooling at your feet, ready and waiting. “Now we’re talking.”

The fighting was relentless, and the drones kept coming. They moved in coordinated waves, almost as if they were responding to every attack the team threw at them.

FRIDAY’s voice broke through the chaos. “Sir, the drones are downloading sensitive files at an alarming rate. They’ve gained access to every file in the Stark Industries database—including your personal archives.”

“Which means,” Clint shouted from across the room as he fired a well-placed arrow into a drone, “they’re not just getting info on our missions—they’re getting everything. Everything about us.”

“Fantastic,” you quipped, shadows darting around as you shot down another drone. “So, what, we’re just an open book for Hydra now? This day just keeps getting better.”

The team fought on, each member taking down drones as they could, but no matter how many they destroyed, more seemed to pour in through every broken window and crevice.

Steve managed to shield a group of you from a blast, his face tense. “We can’t keep this up. These things aren’t stopping.”

One of the drones locked onto you, its targeting laser tracing a line across your chest. Just as you prepared to move, a metal arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you to the ground. A blast sizzled over your head, close enough that you felt the heat.

“Careful,” he muttered, his gaze lingering on you for a split second before he turned back to fire at the drone.

You blinked, taken aback but grateful, only managing a quick nod before you launched back into the fray. The drones swarmed relentlessly, their energy blasts filling the air with heat and light.

Finally, Tony shouted, “We’re outmatched here! We need to fall back. Now!”

Steve nodded, his shield deflecting another blast as he signaled to the team. “Everyone, head for the stairs. Move!”

One by one, you and the others sprinted for the stairwell, ducking and dodging as drones continued to fire from every direction. You could feel your heart pounding as you rushed down the narrow steps, Bucky close behind you. Natasha led the way, kicking open a side door, and soon you were sprinting down the crowded streets of the city, trying to blend into the crowd and lose the drones.

The team ducked into a small café, breathless and exhausted, doing your best not to attract attention as you found an empty table in the back. The place was quiet, customers chatting and sipping their drinks, completely unaware of the chaos just blocks away.

You sank into a chair, wiping the sweat from your brow as you tried to catch your breath. Clint slid into the seat across from you, his eyes wide and disbelieving. “Did that really just happen?”

Tony leaned forward, his face grim. “They have everything on us now—our pasts, our weaknesses. Hydra’s not just playing games anymore.”

For a moment, no one spoke. Everyone looked around the table, faces grim, each of you realizing just how deeply Hydra had infiltrated.

“Well,” you said quietly, “we’re screwed.”

A waitress placed mugs of coffee on the table, eyeing each of you suspiciously as you all sat, dishevelled and bruised, but everyone was too tired to care. Tony took a long sip, his fingers tapping on the table as he worked out a plan.

“Alright,” he said finally, glancing around the table. “Hydra knows exactly where we are, and they’ve got eyes on us through every camera, satellite, and hacked device in the area. If we go anywhere as one big group, we’ll be an easy target.”

“We need to split up,” Natasha said finally, her voice low and decisive. “Sticking together makes us easier to track.”

Steve nodded, crossing his arms as he leaned back. “Hydra’s already got their eyes on us, and staying in one place just makes it easier for them to send more drones, more operatives. Four groups, each heading in different directions.”

“Small teams would make us harder to find,” Sam agreed, glancing around the table. “If we’re scattered, they’d have to spread their resources thin trying to catch us all.”

Tony took out his tablet, grimacing as he remembered Hydra had accessed everything. He tossed it onto the table, frustrated. “We need to ditch the tech. Phones, and tracking devices—all compromised. Anything tied to Stark Industries is under Hydra’s surveillance now.”

“Phones too?” Peter asked, reluctantly sliding his cell onto the table.

Tony sighed, looking at Peter. “Sorry, kid, but yes. Hydra’s got access to everything. The second we power those things back on, they’ll know our every move.”

Peter reluctantly placed his phone down, and the rest of you followed suit, piling phones, earpieces, and other tracking tech on the table.

“So who’s going with who?” Sam asked, glancing around. “Might as well know who I’m babysitting for the next couple of hours.”

“Sam and I will stick together,” Steve said without hesitation. “We’ve got some experience lying low.”

“Natasha and I can pair up,” Clint added, giving her a nod. “We’ll take the west route. We know enough safe spots to lay low for a while.”

“That leaves me with Bruce and the kid,” Tony said, looking resigned but resolved. “I’ve got some equipment stashed in an old Stark facility nearby. We’ll pick up supplies there and head to the mountains.”

You could already feel it coming, the inevitable. You raised an eyebrow at Bucky, who was giving you the same look. “Guess that means we’re stuck together,” you said, trying to sound casual.

Bucky let out a low groan, running a hand down his face. “This is not my day.”

Tony smirked, clearly enjoying the pairing. “Well, look on the bright side, Barnes. At least you’ve got a chance to watch her back, since someone is currently without cuffs.”

You shot him a glare but didn’t argue. Bucky eyed you with suspicion, his gaze flicking to your shadow-powered hands before he muttered, “Yeah, great. Just what I needed.”

Everyone exchanged brief, quiet goodbyes, understanding the risk that came with splitting up. Clint and Natasha clasped hands before separating, while Tony ruffled Peter’s hair, giving him a gruff, “Stay close, kid.” Finally, you were all on the move, slipping out of the cafe one by one, trying to blend into the crowd.

You and Bucky broke off in a different direction, heading down a deserted side street, eyes peeled for a vehicle.

“What’s the plan for a ride?” Bucky asked, glancing around at the empty alley, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

You stopped as soon as you caught sight of a beat-up, dust-covered old car parked beside a loading dock, half-hidden by a pile of crates. It was an old, rusted Cadillac with chipped paint and a suspicious dent on the side. It looked like it hadn’t been touched in years, but it was all you had for now.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, eyeing the car like it might fall apart at the touch. “You really think that thing’s gonna open? Let alone start?”

You smirked, ignoring his doubts as you approached the car. “Watch and learn, Barnes.”

First, you pressed your fingers under the handle, feeling around for the gap, and slid out a thin metal lock-pick from your belt. You carefully wedged it into the crack, maneuvering the pick with the precision you’d honed over the years. Bucky watched, clearly not impressed yet, his arms crossed as he leaned against a nearby crate.

“You know, this might actually go faster if you helped,” you muttered, glancing at him.

He just shrugged. “I’m enjoying the show.”

You rolled your eyes and focused on the lock, feeling the tension adjust slightly under your pick until… click. The car door swung open, the stale smell of old upholstery hitting you in the face.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, still unimpressed. “Alright, you got it open. Now let’s see if you can actually get it running.”

You slipped into the driver’s seat, leaning down to mess with the wires under the steering column. You pulled a couple of wires free, twisted them together, and tapped them against the ignition. After a moment of silence, the car roared to life, vibrating as the engine struggled but caught on. You leaned back, a triumphant grin on your face.

“Guess I still got it,” you said, giving Bucky a smug look.

He let out a dry chuckle, shaking his head. “Yeah, well, don’t get too cocky. Move over,” he said, nodding toward the passenger seat.

“What?” you asked, frowning.

“I’m driving,” he said, one hand already reaching for the steering wheel as he gestured for you to switch seats. “I’d rather not die today, and I don’t trust you behind the wheel.”

You scoffed, feigning offense. “Excuse me, I’m a fantastic driver.”

He just raised an eyebrow, waiting. “Sure. And I’m a yoga instructor. Now move.”

Grumbling, you climbed over the center console into the passenger seat, shooting him an exaggerated glare as he slid in and took the wheel. “Alright, fine. But if we end up lost, that’s on you.”

“Noted,” he said, giving the wheel an experimental turn. The car groaned in protest but held together. “Buckle up. This is probably going to be bumpy.”

The mission was only beginning, but the stakes had never felt higher.

The old Cadillac rumbled along the winding road, the distant hum of the city long behind as the countryside stretched out around you in golden fields and thick patches of forest. It had been hours since you and Bucky had left the café, the road empty save for the occasional truck or weather-beaten farmhouse passing by.

To Bucky’s surprise, you had been silent the entire ride. No sarcastic remarks, no teasing. You just sat there, looking out the window, watching the scenery blur past. Every now and then, he’d glance at you out of the corner of his eye, expecting a comment, maybe even a smirk, but you just kept staring out the window, lost in thought.

The silence was almost peaceful, but there was something strange about it—something uncharacteristically still that made him feel like he was sitting next to a different person. He shifted in his seat, opening his mouth once or twice to say something, but the words just didn’t come. Maybe you needed the quiet.

But then, suddenly, Tony’s voice crackled through the walkie-talkie, and both of you flinched at the sound.

“Alright, check-in time,” Tony’s voice echoed. “Everyone still on the road?”

One by one, the replies came through.

“Yeah, we’re here,” Sam’s voice said, a slight edge of tension in his usually calm tone.

“We’re all good,” Natasha replied next, Clint’s voice in the background, mumbling something inaudible.

You leaned forward and grabbed the walkie from Bucky’s side, pressing the button. “Still here.”

Bucky glanced at you, eyebrows raised. It was the first thing you’d said since you got in the car, but you didn’t meet his eyes. You just stared at the walkie as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

A pause followed, then Steve’s voice came through, steady but cautious. “Alright. Listen, we can’t keep running aimlessly. We need somewhere to regroup and make a plan. Somewhere Hydra won’t track us.”

Silence fell on the line. Even though Steve had spoken the truth, no one seemed to have a solution. Finding a truly safe location, where Hydra wouldn’t sniff them out in hours, was nearly impossible. If anyone did have a safe house, Hydra had probably tracked it already, especially with the amount of data they’d managed to pull from Stark’s systems.

In the quiet, you bit your lip, hesitating. You had a place—somewhere buried so far in your past that even Hydra wouldn’t think to look for you there. But bringing everyone there… letting them see that part of you… it wasn’t something you’d planned on doing, maybe ever.

Still, this was life or death.

You took a deep breath, then pressed down on the walkie. “I know a place.”

Silence followed, and you could practically feel everyone on the other end of the line turning their heads in shock.

“You?” Clint’s voice came through, incredulous. “You have a safe house?”

“Yeah, I do,” you replied, keeping your voice steady. “It’s in Michigan. Middle of nowhere. It’s safe.”

Bucky’s eyes widened slightly as he looked at you, his brow furrowing. “Michigan? You’re telling me we have to drive twelve hours to get there?”

The line crackled again as Tony’s voice chimed in, dripping with sarcasm. “Oh, sure, let’s just take a twelve-hour road trip through the entire Northeast while Hydra’s out for blood. What could go wrong?”

You rolled your eyes, slumping back in your seat. “You have a better idea, Stark? Besides, we could stop along the way, grab something to eat, maybe even sleep. Or,” you added with a smirk, “we could all bond. Good ol’ Avengers bonding time.”

Bucky scoffed beside you, muttering under his breath. “Right. Bonding. That’s what we need.”

You couldn’t resist the urge to nudge him with your elbow, a hint of mischief in your eyes. “Come on, Barnes. It’ll be fun. Think of all the memories we’ll make.”

Bucky just gave you a deadpan look. “Memories of you trying to get us killed, maybe.”

Tony’s voice cut back in, sounding exasperated but resigned. “Fine. Let’s head for Michigan. If this is our best shot, we’ll take it. Everyone, get some food, gas up, and keep a low profile. We’ll meet up as soon as we’re out of range.”

“Copy that,” Steve’s voice came through. “See you all there.”

With a final crackle, the walkie went silent. You tossed it back onto the dashboard and leaned back, watching the sun dip lower over the countryside. The nerves that had been coiled in your stomach began to settle as you mentally prepared yourself for where you were headed.

Bucky stayed quiet for a moment, clearly mulling over the unexpected revelation that you had a place to take everyone, a place you’d never mentioned.

“So,” he said finally, glancing at you, “what’s in Michigan?”

You just shrugged, not looking at him. “Old ties, I guess. Somewhere no one would think to look.”

Bucky studied your profile for a second, something unreadable in his expression, but he didn’t press you for details. He just turned his eyes back to the road, gripping the wheel as he accelerated. The car hummed along the empty highway, and for the first time, you felt a strange sense of calm creeping in, knowing you’d be heading somewhere familiar.

After a few hours of driving through nothing but countryside and dusty roads, Bucky finally pulled the Cadillac into a small gas station on the outskirts of a rundown town. The pump was ancient, the kind you almost expected to crank by hand, and the station itself looked like it hadn’t seen a remodel since the ‘80s. Perfect, really, for laying low.

As he put the car in park, you stretched, groaning, and finally stepped out of the car, feeling your stiff muscles relax. “Alright, I’ll get food. You do...whatever grumpy, ex-Winter Soldiers do while getting gas.”

He rolled his eyes “Just try not to buy out the entire snack aisle, alright?”

“Oh, you mean like you and your gas station jerky addiction?” You said with a grin.

Without waiting for his comeback, you headed inside the convenience store. It was small and smelled faintly of burnt coffee, but it was stocked with the essentials: stale pastries, greasy bags of chips, and suspiciously flavored sodas. You went straight for the snacks, grabbing a few bags of chips, a pack of donuts that looked questionably old, and—just because you could—a bright green bottle of soda.

When you returned to the car, Bucky was finishing up at the pump, giving the Cadillac a cautious once-over as if it might fall apart any second. He looked up when you handed him the bottle.

“Green Lightning Blast?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you trying to poison me?”

“Oh, please,” you said with a smirk. “This is quality gas station soda. You’re lucky I didn’t grab Mystery Melon instead.” You leaned into the trunk, arranging the bags of chips like they were valuable cargo.

Bucky uncapped the soda, sniffed it cautiously, then took a small sip before grimacing. “Tastes like nuclear waste.”

“Good for the soul,” you quipped, popping open a bag of chips and tossing one into your mouth as you hopped into the passenger seat.

Just as he was about to follow you, Bucky suddenly stopped and glanced across the street at a dingy hardware store, a thoughtful look crossing his face.

“Hold on,” he said, sounding half to himself.

You frowned, watching him as he headed across the street. “Where the hell are you going?”

“Hardware store,” he called back, not looking over his shoulder.

“Why?” you asked, hurrying to catch up, half-amused and half-irritated. “In case you forgot, I literally control shadows. I could just snap my fingers and—” You waved your hand theatrically in front of him, “boom. Done. Easy.”

“Yeah, well, in case you forgot,” Bucky replied, deadpan, “I don’t trust things I can’t see. And I’m sure as hell not trusting my life to some tricked-out parlor magic.”

You rolled your eyes, following him inside. “Wow, sounds like someone needs a lesson in appreciating useful skills.”

He ignored your comment, grabbing a basket and heading straight for the aisle with the camping and hunting gear. You watched as he loaded up on some surprisingly heavy-duty stuff—flashlights, a utility knife, zip ties, rope, even a small hatchet.

“Are we escaping Hydra or reenacting a camping trip from hell?” you asked, leaning over the basket to eye the growing pile. “Are you planning to hunt with that, or are you just compensating for something?”

Bucky shot you a glare. “You wanna keep it down? I’m making sure we have options.”

You held up a flashlight, wiggling it in his face. “Options? This is the kind of thing that screams, ‘I live alone in a cabin and only eat canned beans.’”

Bucky just plucked the flashlight out of your hands. “I’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.”

You scoffed, but couldn’t help the grin spreading on your face. “Sure, whatever you say, Boy Scout.”

With his basket full, Bucky finally headed toward the register, where a bored-looking cashier barely glanced up as he scanned the items. When the total came up, Bucky fished around in his pocket, mumbling something about how “Tony better reimburse us for all this.”

When you finally got back to the car, Bucky loaded up the trunk, placing his hardware store haul next to the snacks you’d bought, each bag and tool meticulously arranged.

You slumped back into the passenger seat, watching as he placed the hatchet at an angle—perfectly within reach if he ever needed to grab it. He caught your eye and raised an eyebrow as if daring you to comment.

“You know,” you said, smirking as he closed the trunk, “most people just carry a pocketknife. But hey, what do I know?”

Bucky shook his head, walking around to the driver’s side. “I’m just being prepared. You want to make fun of it, go ahead, but when this axe comes in handy, I’ll remember that.”

“Oh, trust me,” you said as he got in, buckling up. “If you pull out that hatchet mid-mission, I’ll take a front-row seat to watch the show.”

As Bucky started the car, you threw a couple of chips into your mouth and glanced over, eyes bright with mischief. “So, how does it feel, Barnes? Out here on a top-secret, off-the-grid, government fugitive road trip. Just you, me, and a trunk full of discount hardware.”

He shook his head, eyes focused on the road but unable to hide the small smile tugging at his lips. “Feels like I’m babysitting an overconfident shadow with a snack addiction.”

You laughed, tossing another chip into your mouth. “Hey, you’re the one who insisted on the hatchet. I’m just here for the chips and the company.”

“Lucky me,” he muttered, accelerating as the gas station faded into the distance.

dividers by @dollywons

[olowan-waphiya]

A huge ancient city has been found in the Amazon, hidden for thousands of years by lush vegetation.

The discovery changes what we know about the history of people living in the Amazon.

The houses and plazas in the Upano area in eastern Ecuador were connected by an astounding network of roads and canals.

The area lies in the shadow of a volcano that created rich local soils but also may have led to the destruction of the society.

While we knew about cities in the highlands of South America, like Machu Picchu in Peru, it was believed that people only lived nomadically or in tiny settlements in the Amazon.

"This is older than any other site we know in the Amazon. We have a Eurocentric view of civilisation, but this shows we have to change our idea about what is culture and civilisation," says Prof Stephen Rostain, director of investigation at the National Centre for Scientific Research in France, who led the research.

"It changes the way we see Amazonian cultures. Most people picture small groups, probably naked, living in huts and clearing land - this shows ancient people lived in complicated urban societies," says co-author Antoine Dorison.

The city was built around 2,500 years ago, and people lived there for up to 1,000 years, according to archaeologists.

It is difficult to accurately estimate how many people lived there at any one time, but scientists say it is certainly in the 10,000s if not 100,000s.

The archaeologists combined ground excavations with a survey of a 300 sq km (116 sq mile) area using laser sensors flown on a plane that could identify remains of the city beneath the dense plants and trees.

—

"The road network is very sophisticated. It extends over a vast distance, everything is connected. And there are right angles, which is very impressive," he says, explaining that it is much harder to build a straight road than one that fits in with the landscape.

The scientists also identified causeways with ditches on either side which they believe were canals that helped manage the abundant water in the region.

There were signs of threats to the cities - some ditches blocked entrances to the settlements, and may be evidence of threats from nearby people.

Researchers first found evidence of a city in the 1970s, but this is the first time a comprehensive survey has been completed, after 25 years of research.

It reveals a large, complex society that appears to be even bigger than the well-known Mayan societies in Mexico and Central America.

—

Some of the findings are "unique" for South America, he explains, pointing to the octagonal and rectangular platforms arranged together.

The societies were clearly well-organised and interconnected, he says, highlighting the long sunken roads between settlements.

Not a huge amount is known about the people who lived there and what their societies were like.

Pits and hearths were found in the platforms, as well as jars, stones to grind plants and burnt seeds.

—

Prof Rostain says he was warned against this research at the start of his career because scientists believed no ancient groups had lived in the Amazon.

[phoenix-and-found-family]

Okay but...

How long had the Phantom been planning the note, code, and safe in the control point???

The hat, safe, and number carved into the side of the drawer were all there in the tutorial. That building was evacuated because of Rising Phoenix. Which meant it must have been evacuated recently.

The note, after further inspection, says this:

[Image ID: A note that says "To The next Agent, Control Point Babadag has been evacuated following Agent Phoenix's demolition of Zor's nearby base. To reconnect to the Agency and restore power, follow the protocol outlined in this tape," followed by a drawing of a VCR looking tape.]

So, it was actually left after Phoenix blew up the building???

Which, because I am assuming the evac took a while because there's no trace of people in there, means the Phantom put a whole ass safe in the base that there was only a probable chance you'd end up in.

Getting a safe made that would only open to specific medallions, making those specific medallions in the first place out of a metal that doesn't fucking melt in a volcano (the last one is in the lava of KBOOM), and then hiding them, in mission locations you didn't even know you would be in, seems like it would take months, if not years.

And that's not even considering where they actually are in the levels:

In Roxana's house it's in her home computer, which, given the way the circles are drawn on the note, she 100% didn't know about

In the mines, which were used by the agency until she left and Zoraxis found them, they're in a stalagmite??? Specifically one the drill can't even reach, which is probably why it's still standing. But how did this person know you'd break the drill??? And why have none of the robots, or the supervisor, who can actually see the marking, ever tried to break it open to see what you could find? How did they get it in there?

In Blind Spot it's behind her license plate, which, as well as raising the question of how on earth Roxana didn't notice that but immediately knew when you and Reginald showed up, makes me wonder how she didn't get pulled over by police for having something covering up her plate

Hot Water has you A. Put a grate under the vending machine with the shield maker in it on a chalkboard, and B. send the code you get to Ollie, who sends it to you confused. Which means A. The chalkboard was assumed to not going to be erased when the grate was installed/replaced, B. The agent would figure out where to put it, and C. Phantom managed to sneak the medallion into wherever Ollie was located without him knowing anything about it

Cold Shoulder: They froze the medal in solid ice in the gondola control panel. That could only be melted by the bear laser. How in the fuck.

I already talked about the lava thing so I'm not getting pictures for it (I'm lazy)

And the note they give you from the safe looks like this:

The code translates to "I expect you to live", which is awesome, but they also call you Phoenix.

You got this nickname, at most, a month ago.

There was no physical way to do all of that in a month or less.

So either this person is inhumanly fast, predicted where you'd be in the missions, made sure no one else got it somehow, did this without stopping anything that was going on, and also got you some gloves made of gold fabric as a reward for solving the puzzles, or something else is going on.

I don't know, but I think that this Phantom person is even more interesting when you factor in how they managed to do all of this in the first place.

[transformers-nerd-13]

As promised, here's my analysis of Transformers G1; More Than Meets the Eye; Part 1. (I'm posting my episode analyses of the three episodes separately for the sake of not making this an insanely long post because look at how long this thing already is).

We open with a narration giving us a brief overview of who the Autobots and Decepticons are.

We're introduced to Bumblebee and Wheeljack who've found some conductors (presumably energy conductors). They head back to Iacon, but are interrupted by a "Decepticon Welcoming Committee" aka the Seekers who all had different voices than the ones they end up with later for reasons that will never be explained.

Bumblebee is wounded in the battle, but we're going to ignore that because it never gets brought up again and he’s perfectly fine later. The Seekers go to report to Megatron while Wheeljack and Bumblebee make it back to Iacon. We're introduced to Soundwave and Laserbeak who are spying on the Autobots--Soundwave almost gets caught but luckily because Jazz is blind as a bat, Soundwave doesn't get caught.

Jazz reports to Optimus about a lack of energy on the planet and Optimus tells Prowl that they'll start the search mission for energy whenever Prowl is ready to launch. Cut to the Decepticons where Starscream is standing with the sassiest pose of all time and Megatron is doing the classic villain rant about how the Decepticons must find an energy source before the Autobots.

Soundwave enters and reports that the Autobots are ready to launch and Megatron says that they are also ready (I guess they had the same plan to go search for energy??). Megatron tells Shockwave that he is to stay behind and keep watch over Cybertron in the absence of literally every other Decepticon, but Shockwave assures Megatron that Cybertron will remain as he leaves it.

Starscream then decides now is a good time to whine about not being the leader of the Decepticons to which Megatron tells him that only a select few ever lead. Starscream tells Megatron that his time will come, but Megatron tells him "NEVER!!" before changing gears remarkably fast and tells...someone to prepare to blast off. (I'm assuming he was talking to Soundwave but he was looking at Starscream).

The Autobots and Decepticons launch their respective ships. But two asteroids collide causing an asteroid shower (yeah that's definitely how that works) causing all sorts of chaos including the Decepticons somehow losing their power and Jazz falling out of his chair. They get through the now suddenly very still asteroid field by using the Ark's laser gun and the Decepticons follow them. Starscream says that they should just blow the Autobots away since they've seen them, but Megatron says that he "wants to know what they're after." Um...sir? They're after energy, just like you?? I thought you knew this???

Jazz--who has gotten back into the pilot's seat off screen--reports that the cons have made a magnetic junction to the Ark and that he can't shake them. They try to use their weapons but their power is somehow already used up. The cons board the Ark where a (simply put) chaotic battle takes place. Somehow they lose control of the Ark within less than ten seconds of the cons boarding and crash into the side of a volcano and die.

Yep, they were dead.

For Four Million years.

Mhm.

Somehow the volcano erupting woke up Teletraan One and it sent out the Sky Spy (a little probe thing) that scanned some earth vehicles while the Ark rebuilt the Decepticons first (for some reason—literally no idea why it did this). Skywarp is revived first, and he revives the other Decepticons. The cons leave the Ark and Megatron declares that much time has passed and they're on a planet far from Cybertron (oh y'think? Also, how do you know? You've been dead for 4 million years!! Not to mention it took less than two minutes for you to get into space and crash on this random planet so it can't be THAT far) but their mission hasn't changed.

Skywarp asks how they know Cybertron still exists (fair question but unprompted) and Megatron says that Cybertron must exist (Lot of faith you've got in Shockwave there bub, I mean, yes, this is Shockwave we're talking about but he's just one bot--you literally left ONE Decepticon on Cybertron dude and he doesn't even know you're still alive! And how do you know that he's still alive??) and that they would gather energy from this planet to conquer Cybertron followed by the universe.

Starscream (for some reason) shoots at the Ark. Megatron tells him to save his energy, but Starscream fires a few more shots anyway, this time hitting some rocks on the side of the cliff they've been standing on that fall onto the Ark. This jostles the ship and causes Optimus to finally be noticed by Teletraan One and Teletraan is like "Oh scrap I forgot to fix the Autobots, WHOOPS" and fixes Optimus who gives Teletraan a thumbs up and a quick "Thanks".

Dunno if I'd be that chipper after being revived from death, I mean, I'd be panicking, and then I'd see my dead friends and see that the cons were gone and consider myself in some seriously deep slag so, Idk props to you for being optimistic?--Pun intended.

The cons set up a base by some tall rocks in the desert that are literally RIGHT NEXT TO A ROAD. Robots in disguise my boron compressor! Soundwave prepares plans for a new space cruiser (I guess in addition to being the communications officer Soundwave is also an aerospace engineer??) while Starscream is told to convert the area for construction and is told to "use his imagination" when it came to materials.

Starscream does NOT however use his imagination, he uses Soundwave's. He asks Soundwave if he has any ideas, and Soundwave points out a conveniently placed...radio tower? Power station? Truly have no idea what this is. We're introduced to Rumble and Soundwave instructs him to activate his pile-drivers, but Rumble doesn't do that because Starscream takes off for the radio-power plant thing.

Cut back over to the Autobots who have all been revived off screen. Optimus tells them that this planet is rich with sources of energy but that the Decepticons must already know this because Teletraan One woke them up first (thanks a lot Teletraan), so they must find the cons and stop them. Prime sends Hound and CliffJumper to go find the cons even though Cliffjumper wants to "boot some Decepticon right in his turbocharger" (whatever that means; probably ‘kick some con’s butt’). Cut back over to the cons where we see Starscream, Rumble and Soundwave landing at the power-radio tower thing and Starscream (unprompted) tells Rumble that some day he'll be the one calling the shots, but Rumble basically says "ha ha yeah right" and Starscream tells him that he will find a way to beat Megatron but Rumble is doubtful of that. Rumble then finally activates his pile-drivers and splits the ground a bit causing some of the machinery at the plant to fall into it halfway and Starscream says that he's impressed by this. You must be very easily impressed sir.

Cut over to CliffJumper and Hound. Hound says that he smells something and that he thinks he's just found the Decepticons (so you weren't following a scent trail before this?? You were just driving around praying you found something?? Also do the Decepticons smell different than Autobots?? How do you know it's the Decepticons and not other Autobots???) and tells CliffJumper to follow him but they stop literally two seconds later (the "follow me" was unnecessary, you could've left it at "I think we've just found the cons" and it would've been completely fine lol) having stumbled upon the Decepticon's half constructed base? Space cruiser? Really not clear what this is meant to be here. CliffJumper wants to fight but Hound reminds him that Prime just told them to find the cons. Right now the cons think the bots are dead; it's better to have them think that they're dead at the moment for the sake of the element of surprise.

Hound uses a little satellite dish in his arm to listen in on the cons who are conveniently monologuing their whole evil plan about plundering earth's resources for energy and turning that energy into energon cubes (which were a Decepticon invention in G1) and the new space cruiser.

Off screen, Cliffjumper has assembled a giant gun (where the hell was he storing that?? I'm just gonna say it was in his subspace) and says that he's "Got Megatron dead center in his viewfinder." And fires. And misses.

Dead center huh?

The cons wonder who could be firing on them and Starscream immediately says that the Autobots could be the only ones firing on them. Starscream. Buddy. As far as you know, the bots are dead. How is this the first logical conclusion you come to??

Soundwave sends Laserbeak to investigate and Cliff and Hound make a run--or, more accurately, roll--for it. Good job Cliff. Apparently neither CliffJumper nor Hound have ever seen Laserbeak before?? Cliff asks Hound “What is that thing up there?” And Hound replies that he doesn’t know. I feel like they would've seen him at some point when the war was still on Cybertron? Idk.

Anyway, CliffJumper and Hound split up because Laserbeak can only follow one of them, right? WRONG. Apparently Laserbeak can detach his guns from his body and still be in control of them??? So he sends one of his blasters after Cliff, who defeats the blaster with some mockery and the fumes from his exhaust which make the blaster explode for some reason.

Laserbeak shoots Hound and causes him to tumble down a cliff in the most dramatic way possible.

During the commercial break, CliffJumper apparently found Hound at the bottom of the ravine/cliff and went back to the Ark to get help in the form of Ratchet and Grapple, who would never again be referred to as "Hauler". Cliff apologizes to Hound for firing on the cons and getting them caught, but Hound tells him "You shouldn't have missed you mean" with a good natured laugh which makes Cliff feel better about the situation.

Yes, this is a nice moment, but Hound is unknowingly supporting CliffJumper’s reckless nature in the future. Cliff directly disobeyed an order from Prime and one of his teammates got hurt because of it. This would've been a learning opportunity for Cliff if Hound hadn't laughed it off.

Cut over to Thundercracker and the Reflector triplets talking about how they couldn't believe the Autobots survived before Thundercracker spots something out in the desert which just looks like a dust cloud. Somehow Thundercracker changes positions to be on the ground almost right in front of the van/truck so that it’s driving directly at him when he's taking a picture of the van/truck using Reflector's camera Alt Mode (how three bots transform and combine to form ONE camera that fits in the palm of a Transformer I will never know; I guess mass shifting?) instead of on the cliff he was on seconds before when taking the picture of it and after he takes the picture he's suddenly back on the cliff?? Thundercracker reports the vehicle to Soundwave saying it might be an Autobot. Soundwave sends Ravage to investigate for some reason even though Thundercracker and the Reflector triplets are right there.

The vehicle belongs to two guys in matching outfits with yellow hard hats so what exactly their jobs are remain ambiguous. The two men go to the radio/power plant thing that Rumble wrecked earlier, and they comment on how it looks like a tornado hit the place and that something feels wrong.

That's when Ravage attacks them for seemingly no reason and sends them running, and we never see those two guys again.

Cut to the Ark where Hound has just finished reporting what he and Cliff found to Prime as Ratchet fixes him up. Jazz and Sideswipe are also in the scene for some reason. Optimus tells Jazz to organize a battle unit and Jazz takes that to mean 'get every Autobot'. This is the cartoon's way of introducing the other Autobots to the viewer as Jazz calls out their names as they Transform and Roll out. This is a good way to introduce the characters, but it would've been more effective if each bot got their own shot so that it’s clear that the name being called belonged to the autobot on screen. But it was the 80’s so I’m not gonna harp on this too much.

Cut over to the Decepticons where Soundwave is reporting to Megatron that Laserbeak found a source of energy (apparently he sent Laserbeak to go find energy sources off screen).

Cut over to an oil rig where we meet Spike, Sparkplug, and a handful of other unnamed humans who are all wearing the same outfit of a white button up, blue jeans and yellow hard hats that we won't see again until Dr. Archevil (no idea how you spell his name; that weird cyborg scientist) shows up. The Decepticons land on the oil rig and all the humans decide to start throwing random stuff at them which proves ineffective (like seriously what did they think throwing tiny pipes and wrenches at giant robots was going to do??) and Megatron calmly picks up a giant metal tube and tosses it at four of the unnamed humans, and all of those humans end up in the ocean below, never to be seen again.

Rumble pins Sparkplug to the wall (I had no other way to say that, get your minds out of the gutter) and Spike punches Rumble in the back which does nothing but annoy Rumble who shoves him away in response (I'm betting that hitting Rumble hurt Spike more than it hurt Rumble). I guess Sparkplug must have some super strength because he kicks Rumble off him and dives after Spike who apparently ended up in the ocean after Rumble hit him.

The Decepticons make some energon cubes that really look like folded towels out of some of the oil stored in the rig.

Starscream gets all excited saying that they can go back to Cybertron, but Megatron bursts his bubble by telling him that this is only a fraction of the energy they need. The Autobots (who could fly I guess) show up. The bots land and everyone is firing at each other with the aim of a Stormtrooper.

The bots and cons duke it out on the oil rig and I guess someone knocked out Ratchet at some point because he's just...on the ground?? The cons get away with their Energon cubes/towels, shooting the oil rig to send the Autobots into the ocean below, and Megatron shoots two of the oil containers on the sinking rig which blow up and now the ocean is on fire?? (If someone knows the science behind this please tell me in the comments because I don't know if this is actually plausible or not) as they make their getaway.

After the cons leave, Prime hears Spike and Sparplug calling for help because they got trapped behind some debris and goes to rescue them. 

And that was Episode One of the Transformers. Overall a very silly episode but it's an 80's cartoon so what're you gonna do? It’s definitely the episode of G1 that I’ve watched the most and while it doesn’t always make sense, it’s a very fun watch.

Anyways, I hope this was enjoyable! I’ll probably be posting my analysis on More Than Meets the Eye Part 2 sometime tomorrow. In the meantime, stay tuned!

[in1-nutshell]

I just love the premise that, whenever Maxima or Lithia go "(Character Name), I needed that!"

Ratchet, who could be anywhere from the next room over, to on a whole other planet, just gets hit with this sudden, inexplicable feeling of pride pulsing from deep within his spark.

YES!

Ratchet just knows when his nieces/ daughter does something that makes him swell with pride.

It is an extra sense he acquired over time.

Some examples are and not limited to...

Maxima: *Sees Smokescreen crush her paper mache volcano that she had been working on with Raf all afternoon* Smokescreen! I needed that! Ratchet: *By his work station* What is this feeling...

Lithia showing Bumblebee how to correctly use a laser scalpel Lithia: Bee your holding it wrong-- Bee accidentally cuts another tool with the laser, Lithia: *Taking a big vent* Bee... I was going to need that for later. Ratchet: *Picking up Raf from school* There it is again. Raf: What's there again? Ratchet: A sense of pride in someone else...

Ophelia and Steve helping Fix-it fix a stasis pods door. Ophelia: I think we are just about-- Steve: *Sees a large shadow rapidly descending on the group and scoops his Conjunx and Fix-it before it came crashing down* The three of them look over at a fallen Sideswipe as he gets a mangled tool from his backside. Ophelia: Sideswipe! We need that. Sideswipe: Oops... Ratchet: *On the road somewhere* ...Where is this coming from...

Rapidfire: *Trying to fix the ship* Can someone pass me my wrench? CRUNCH! Rapidfire looks at a guilty Bulkhead and a squashed wrench under his pede. Rapidfire: *Takes a deep vent* Bulkhead, I needed that! Ratchet:*In one of the storage rooms* ... I feel understood somehow... maybe I should get in an extra hour of recharge...

Bonus!

Iron Bolt is the official name for Bulkhead's daughter with the opposite personality

Iron Bolt: * under the main computers desk fixing a glitch in the system*: Can someone pass me the flashlight? CRUNCH! Iron Bolt immediately comes out from the desk to see Wheeljack holding the lob ball and the bits of the flashlight on the floor. Iron Bolt glares at the Wrecker. Iron Bolt: Uncle Wheeljack, I needed that! Wheeljack: Sorry kiddo. Ratchet: *Just walking into the base* My mood has just gotten better for some reason...

Ratchet sensing the pride

[totaldramaweb]

ALEJANDRO BURROMUERTO CASUAL HC'S.

• he tans weekly on the family's tanning machine (in a speedo, yes). twice a week on winter since he gets paler on cold.

• he always smells like cologne. even sweating, he stills smells very dense. he's always re-applying deodorant/perfume.

• used to shave his whole body with laser at the spa. after the volcano incident, he didn't grow body hair for a long time, so when It grew back he just let himself become hairy (only bodily).

• had a lot of hiperfixations growing up. he didn't quite have any friends so he used most of his time obsessed on a certain activity until he reached perfection, then dropped it to hop on another.

• he prefers reptiles over dogs or cats. but he likes dogs tho, he claims they are loyal and follow blindly.

• José lost one of his pets, never had any other due fear, yet he dreams of having a snake.

• he is a terrible joker. he can do a lot of things but joking is not one of them. he only remembers some jokes of his dad's comedy book he readed back on his childhood.

• he's a great cooker. he always made his mom company when she cooked dinner, he learnt from her.

• he has a guilty pleasure on writting, mainly poetry, and he's great at it. he actually takes It seriously and treat other themes beyond romance or clichés, perhaps even has a diary of his writings.

• he doesnt like movies because he claims he "doesnt have time for them" (canon on his tdwt blog introduction) but this actually raised among his dad telling him that, claiming he should use his time for better like studying or getting better at something. plus, everytime he wanted to see one, José would push him from the TV and take It for himself.

• he actually rarely has genuine fun. the only fun he gets is usually from his recreational activities, and even so, he concentrates more on being perfect on them rather than enjoy. and he does a lot, maybe to avoid being alone with his thoughts for too long before they overwhelm him.

• has photographic memory, and it's very good at remembering faces and places.

• he did just judge his babysitters until tears only to get some attention from his parents. he didn't want to be taken care of, he wanted to prove he's able to take care of himself, like José who didn't need one. he also just wanted to be looked at by them, to spend time with his parents instead of old ladies and annoying teens.

• they speak full spanish at home, he took english lessons since his first years, but didn't really used it until he moved to Canada.

• due his dad being a diplomat, he lived his first years on Spain before finding himself moving from country to country. Like Peru, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Japan, and many more until Canada. His dad worked at the embajadas of Spain in many countrys doing comercy deals between countrys and etc, he had to stay for long times in such countrys and his kids and wife following along wherever the head of the family went. Alejandro had a hard time doing friends on his new schools, eventually all the changes and the mindset he grew leaded him to be who he is, remaining friends is still a hard duty for him. He learnt that everyone leaves and due that he could at least get what he wants from them and It wouldn't be that wrong, he always dissappear from peoples lives and it's something he can't control. Hello, Drama Machine...

- 🕯️

[jacscorner]

Found a small little RPG on itch called Sword & Board; a Lasers & Feelings hack that terms Soulslike games, like Darksouls or Elden Ring, into a little TTRPG.

It's a fun little game, only two pages worth of rules and is very light. And the fun thing about super light games is all the wiggle room that comes with them.

Like...letting your mind wander and thinking "what if instead of people, you play as a Mouse"? And thus, this dumb idea came to mind: what if someone made a Soulslike Game set in the Redwall universe? Or, since these two things are thematically opposed, a world heavily based on Redwall?

The little story I made up for my little "playthroughs" is that the mice here are the grandson of the Lord of Blackwood, a forested area around a volcano and their quest is to reclaim the keep, become the new Lord of Blackwood, and do X (with X = the main quest that the game's random generator sets you up on). They were sent away to a tall abbey of red brick (cause subtlety is for bitches) when a Pigeon comes flying with the message of you being the last descendant of the true Lord and, thus, the only one with a claim to the throne. Thus, you must travel across the seas to the distant land of Blackwood, slay the forces of darkness, and bring light back to the realm.

Perhaps instead of a traditional class system like in S&B or in something like Elden Ring, the classes could be based on various critters. Like, Mouse, but also maybe other species; Moles, Squirrels, Sparrows, Hares, Foxes, ect. Perhaps a final boss fight with a Badger, who lead the army to invade your home. Maybe other bosses like Owls, Cats, Snakes, and such.

[torpublishinggroup]

This advertisement is for Starter Villain, a new science fiction adventure from Hugo Award–winning author John Scalzi.

In a dog-eat-dog world…be a cat.

When Charlie inherits his uncle’s villain business, one of the most surprising things about it is the cats. The sentient, super-intelligent, computer-using cats.

And let’s not even get started on the dolphins.

WHAT IT'S ABOUT

When divorced substitute teacher Charlie’s long-lost uncle Jake dies, he’s not expecting much. Certainly not to inherit a supervillain business, complete with an island volcano lair, giant laser death rays, lava pits, and hyper-intelligent talking spy cats.

But it gets worse.

Because his uncle wasn’t just a supervillain. He was a supervillain who was in the middle of trying to take down the other supervillains. Somewhere along the way he decided that the rich, soulless predators back by multinational corporations and venture capital were a bad idea. And they needed to be stopped.

And now they’re after Charlie.

[dasturdlydangerousduck]

Hmmmm. The Three Caballeros in super hero suits.

These aren't really super hero suits per'se, but they have superpowers lol:

The Ripped Rager (Donald Duck)

Powers: Volcanic Heat Fused Body, Triggered by Rage Filled Anger, Steam Emissions from all over his body

Donald Duck has always been the worst when it comes to rage, but after falling into a volcano after trying to save his family from villains, he miraculously came out unscathed. His pent up anger had made him indestructible, and his temper made his skin turn a shade of red. And not being a muscle duck in his prime, he can grow his muscles in the blink of an eye when he gets enraged. He still is trying to keep his cool when thinking of villains, even going so far as to restrain himself with chains, but he still has a long way to go.

Illumina Capoeira (Jose Carioca)

Powers: Blinding Light Emmanted from his muscles and veins. Master of Capoeira dancing and fighting

A famous capoeira dancer from the wondrous city of Baia, Jose Carioca had his body changed after a swarm of radioactive bioluminescent Portugese Man O' Wars washed up on the beaches. Jose was fatally stung multiple times, and it would have killed him in the long run, but the radiated Man O' War venom affected and strengthen his veins to a powerful extreme. As his muscles and veins tense, his body now shines a light so bright, and when combined with his dancing, no villain could ever keep track of his movements.

Trigger Finger (Panchito Pistoles)

Powers: Cybernetic Enhancments, built in laser blasters that fire lightning fast lasers/bullets

Panchito was a well-reknowed sheriff and cowboy in his town, but because of his status, he had his mortal enemies as well. It got so bad to the point that he was set into a trap where he was crushed under a rock in the desert canyons. When he woke up, his whole body felt a numb, and he accidentally shot lasers and bullets out of his hands and hips. He was now a cyborg, and he returned to his hometown to the adoration of his fans. Panchito doesn't even need to use his trusty guns anymore now that he now a walking ammunition machine!

[haveyouplayedthisttrpg]

Have you played THEY CAME FROM [CLASSIFIED] ?

By Onyx Path Publishing

It’s the fab 60’s here in London. The music is groovy, the girls are a go-go and the agents are secret. Beneath the brightly colored suits and revealing cocktail dresses is a world of conspiracy and subterfuge. Criminal Masterminds with doomsday devices set their plans for world domination in motion. Jewel thieves steal millions leaving no trail behind. Dictators invade nations and auction off intelligence to other evildoers. All cases the Agency takes and sends its best and brightest to handle.

Based off classic 1960’s spy films and television programs, play as actors playing characters based off spy archetypes. The no nonsense detective with the deadly intuition. The suave operative charming his way through the toughest of situations. The inventive Quartermaster using their gadgets and doodads to save the day and other famous types of spies you’ve seen sneak through volcano lairs and lavish bars. With the GM as the director of this flick be prepared for a game of secret plots, backstabbing betrayals, super sleuthing and the occasional one liner. Classic movie tropes, cheap special effects and bad editing are just as useful to the actors as any laser pen or exploding cufflink is to the character. Included with the game is a set of “plot” cards the director could draw to make a quick fiendish plot ready for the foiling and even play “Twist” cards to impose dramatic twists to agents and raise the stakes of the narrative. The Queen (and our box office numbers) is counting on you agent.

[mischief-tea]

Being a mom can be fun sometimes. Today I got to hide chocolate bars in a box and make a treasure map of our house. We had a miniature treasure hunting Odyssey where I bravely led my 3 toddlers over mountains (the hearth)

On a daring escape from an island of mad pirates who want to make them into soup! (me, in the kitchen, wearing a pot on my head)

Nearly falling asleep FOREVER on an island that makes you snore really loud and have dreams about eating marshmallows (their bedroom)

Through dark caves (the closet and a plastic candle), with dangerous fire-breathing dragons! (our noisy furnace)

And finally to a slime monster (mom again in an upturned laundry bag) who will only give up treasure in exchange for easily solvable riddles!

They defeated me with a riddle from my 3 year old who declared. "Something is COOL but also HOT!!!"

Solved by his big brother by screeching "VOLCANOES!" And then pretending to get out his laser guns (??? Not used until this point apparently) and lasering me into the moon(? Citation needed)

They found the chocolate. They enjoyed their spoils, and I've been hearing stories about their swashbuckling all afternoon. Sometimes being a mom can be fun.