#Laser volcano

[nomaishuttle]

and also my autistic ass wanted to be in harder better faster stronger so bad. the fucking clothes press I wanted that. the skin paintballs like i wanted that. the glasses getting screwed on the.memories being rewritten. sensory heaven i think.

[torpublishinggroup]

This advertisement is for Starter Villain, a new science fiction adventure from Hugo Award–winning author John Scalzi.

Meet the new boss.

JK this cat doesn’t work for Tor. At least, we’re pretty sure, with remote work it’s hard to tell who is and isn’t a cat. The person posting this could be a cat. You’d literally never know.

But we do know you should check out Starter Villain by John Scalzi, because it does have hyper intelligent cats working for a villainous organization.

WHAT THE BOOK IS ABOUT

When divorced substitute teacher Charlie’s long-lost uncle Jake dies, he’s not expecting much. Certainly not to inherit a supervillain business, complete with an island volcano lair, giant laser death rays, lava pits, and hyper-intelligent talking spy cats.

But it gets worse.

Because his uncle wasn’t just a supervillain. He was a supervillain who was in the middle of trying to take down the other supervillains. Somewhere along the way he decided that the rich, soulless predators back by multinational corporations and venture capital were a bad idea. And they needed to be stopped.

And now they’re after Charlie.

[olowan-waphiya]

A huge ancient city has been found in the Amazon, hidden for thousands of years by lush vegetation.

The discovery changes what we know about the history of people living in the Amazon.

The houses and plazas in the Upano area in eastern Ecuador were connected by an astounding network of roads and canals.

The area lies in the shadow of a volcano that created rich local soils but also may have led to the destruction of the society.

While we knew about cities in the highlands of South America, like Machu Picchu in Peru, it was believed that people only lived nomadically or in tiny settlements in the Amazon.

"This is older than any other site we know in the Amazon. We have a Eurocentric view of civilisation, but this shows we have to change our idea about what is culture and civilisation," says Prof Stephen Rostain, director of investigation at the National Centre for Scientific Research in France, who led the research.

"It changes the way we see Amazonian cultures. Most people picture small groups, probably naked, living in huts and clearing land - this shows ancient people lived in complicated urban societies," says co-author Antoine Dorison.

The city was built around 2,500 years ago, and people lived there for up to 1,000 years, according to archaeologists.

It is difficult to accurately estimate how many people lived there at any one time, but scientists say it is certainly in the 10,000s if not 100,000s.

The archaeologists combined ground excavations with a survey of a 300 sq km (116 sq mile) area using laser sensors flown on a plane that could identify remains of the city beneath the dense plants and trees.

—

"The road network is very sophisticated. It extends over a vast distance, everything is connected. And there are right angles, which is very impressive," he says, explaining that it is much harder to build a straight road than one that fits in with the landscape.

The scientists also identified causeways with ditches on either side which they believe were canals that helped manage the abundant water in the region.

There were signs of threats to the cities - some ditches blocked entrances to the settlements, and may be evidence of threats from nearby people.

Researchers first found evidence of a city in the 1970s, but this is the first time a comprehensive survey has been completed, after 25 years of research.

It reveals a large, complex society that appears to be even bigger than the well-known Mayan societies in Mexico and Central America.

—

Some of the findings are "unique" for South America, he explains, pointing to the octagonal and rectangular platforms arranged together.

The societies were clearly well-organised and interconnected, he says, highlighting the long sunken roads between settlements.

Not a huge amount is known about the people who lived there and what their societies were like.

Pits and hearths were found in the platforms, as well as jars, stones to grind plants and burnt seeds.

—

Prof Rostain says he was warned against this research at the start of his career because scientists believed no ancient groups had lived in the Amazon.

[tyrantisterror]

The Terf Queen said more heinous shit and listen I’m trying to channel my anger into writing so something positive can be made of it but it was just... really upsetting this time, I mean she did it two days before my fucking birthday it feels personal I know it’s not but jesus, so I’m going to make a bitchy post after midnight because fuck.

YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS HARDCORE ABOUT HERBY PORBER?  HOW FUCKING BORING IT MADE WIZARDS.

Look at this.  Look at these fucking characters.  They look like fucking fashion models.  They look like they’re about to walk the goddamn runway.  There’s not an ounce of whimsy or fantastical shit here.  These fuckers look like they’re about to announce the start of Universal’s Dark Universe movie franchise, right down to the unnecessary appearance of Johnny Depp.

Wizards in Henry Pansly’s Adventures in Centrism are, with rare exception, people in mostly regular outfits who occasionally point a stick at things to zap it with a laser.  Everything about them is so... toned down and grounded, as if they’re afraid to let wizards look silly.

But looking silly is what makes wizards fucking awesome.

Look at that fucker, with his extravagant beard and big elaborate bathrobe, floating in fucking space over a dragon rising out of an exploding volcano.  It’s ridiculous, it’s ludicrous, it’s fucking awesome.

Pew pew sticks?  Fuck that!  An unleashed wizard floats on hexagonal geodes while shooting GODDAMN LIGHTNING from his GODDAMN FINGERTIPS!

Even mundane shit is rendered ridiculous and magnificent.  Look at this gaudily dressed son of a bitch as he ponders his orb.  Just hanging out with his cat looking at a cool sphere, no big deal, but the theatrics!  the drama!  It’s positively splendiferous, fuck!

Oh you thought I wouldn’t include some sick Rankin Bass pics while talking about aesthetics in fantasy fiction?  Shame on you, of course I was gonna pull out good ol’ R&B.

We gotta bring it back!  We can’t let this stand!  We can’t let wizards just be guys in vaguely fancy clothes with pew pew sticks!  They gotta be ludicrous and silly and over-the-top!  They need to shoot lightning from their fingers and cackle madly while holding glowing orbs and rising above a mountain into the heavens themselves while dragons fly underfoot burninating the countryside!  We gotta make them FUCKING CAMP!

I want to BEHOLD THE GODDAMN WIZARD!  I want wizards to feel like they belong on the side of a van of some shitty heavy metal band!  I want wizards who reside on black velvet paintings and in crappy pewter sculptures that cost as much as a used car!

I WANNA SEE SOME REAL, QUALITY WIZ BIZ!

[yellowhollyhock]

Hey do y’all wanna do a Raph event for March?

We could call it March for Raph.

@therebelinred and I put together a prompt list. We kind of started with the idea of exploring his goofier side more, but honestly there’s a lot of angst-leaning prompts on here as well. We just like Raph all around, and thought this would be a fun one to share

Could be any iteration, any length, you could do one for each day or one for the month. I wrote this with stories in mind but all kinds of things could work—art, gifsets, short essay answer style—the prompts are super simple and wide open.

So, prompt list under the cut so you can plan ahead if wanted. I’ll post each prompt by the day. If you wanna join you should tag whatever you post as ‘march for raph’ so we can easily find and admire it

1. Watching his favorite movie

2. Revenge

3. Surprise Party

4. Sunset

5. Video games

6. Left speechless by genuine praise

7. Prank successful

8. Because I’m the shield

9. What’s wrong with me

10. Bowling with Casey

11. Favorite novel

12. Stir Crazy

13. Worthless

14. Early morning

15. Fireworks

16. Dance competition

17. Good citizen

18. Watching sports

19. The others go missing

20. Raph vs a Volcano

21. Adopting a pet

22. Puzzling

23. Least favorite student

24. Purple Dragons at Central Park

25. Laser Tag gone wrong

26. Lonely holiday

27. Human friends

28. Broken vase

29. Ambush

30. Wrestling

31. Standing up to Bullies

[srslyblvck]

the devil you know, avengers

pairing: avengers x fem!reader

synopsis: the avengers seem really desperate as they come to you—the person who went under their skin like no one else to help them win against hydra. while they are walking on eggshells around you, you are having fun causing chaos.

warnings: mentions of y/n (maybe), blood, violence, gore

word count: 3.6k

chapter: 9/?

series masterlist

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ THE AVENGERS WERE GATHERED in the briefing room, the mood tense as Tony finished going over the information they’d just uncovered about Hydra’s “Project Eclipse.”

“So, let me get this straight,” Sam said, rubbing his temples. “They’re planning to shut down the country’s infrastructure, unleash a virus, and mind-control half the population?”

“That’s about the gist of it,” Natasha replied, her tone dry. “And let’s not forget the sleeper agents waiting to dismantle everything from the inside.”

“It’s like a supervillain starter pack,” you muttered, crossing your arms. “All they’re missing is a volcano lair and a maniacal laugh.”

Tony snorted, though his expression remained grim as he glanced at Bruce and Steve. “And it’s not just theoretical anymore. They’re ready to go operational. We’re running out of time.”

Just then, FRIDAY’s voice came through, unusually tense. “Sir, I’m detecting an unauthorized breach in the tower’s security system.”

Before anyone could respond, the hum of machinery filled the room, and then, without warning, a swarm of Hydra drones smashed through the windows, glass shattering everywhere. The air filled with the high-pitched whine of energy weapons as the drones opened fire, and everyone dove for cover.

“Everyone down!” Steve shouted, raising his shield just in time to deflect a burst of energy aimed at Natasha.

“Drones? Seriously?” you shouted over the noise. “How unoriginal.”

“Let’s save the commentary for later,” Tony snapped, already halfway into his suit as his helmet clicked into place. “FRIDAY, release their cuffs.”

Your cuffs fell away with a soft click, and the familiar rush of power surged through you, shadows pooling at your feet, ready and waiting. “Now we’re talking.”

The fighting was relentless, and the drones kept coming. They moved in coordinated waves, almost as if they were responding to every attack the team threw at them.

FRIDAY’s voice broke through the chaos. “Sir, the drones are downloading sensitive files at an alarming rate. They’ve gained access to every file in the Stark Industries database—including your personal archives.”

“Which means,” Clint shouted from across the room as he fired a well-placed arrow into a drone, “they’re not just getting info on our missions—they’re getting everything. Everything about us.”

“Fantastic,” you quipped, shadows darting around as you shot down another drone. “So, what, we’re just an open book for Hydra now? This day just keeps getting better.”

The team fought on, each member taking down drones as they could, but no matter how many they destroyed, more seemed to pour in through every broken window and crevice.

Steve managed to shield a group of you from a blast, his face tense. “We can’t keep this up. These things aren’t stopping.”

One of the drones locked onto you, its targeting laser tracing a line across your chest. Just as you prepared to move, a metal arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you to the ground. A blast sizzled over your head, close enough that you felt the heat.

“Careful,” he muttered, his gaze lingering on you for a split second before he turned back to fire at the drone.

You blinked, taken aback but grateful, only managing a quick nod before you launched back into the fray. The drones swarmed relentlessly, their energy blasts filling the air with heat and light.

Finally, Tony shouted, “We’re outmatched here! We need to fall back. Now!”

Steve nodded, his shield deflecting another blast as he signaled to the team. “Everyone, head for the stairs. Move!”

One by one, you and the others sprinted for the stairwell, ducking and dodging as drones continued to fire from every direction. You could feel your heart pounding as you rushed down the narrow steps, Bucky close behind you. Natasha led the way, kicking open a side door, and soon you were sprinting down the crowded streets of the city, trying to blend into the crowd and lose the drones.

The team ducked into a small café, breathless and exhausted, doing your best not to attract attention as you found an empty table in the back. The place was quiet, customers chatting and sipping their drinks, completely unaware of the chaos just blocks away.

You sank into a chair, wiping the sweat from your brow as you tried to catch your breath. Clint slid into the seat across from you, his eyes wide and disbelieving. “Did that really just happen?”

Tony leaned forward, his face grim. “They have everything on us now—our pasts, our weaknesses. Hydra’s not just playing games anymore.”

For a moment, no one spoke. Everyone looked around the table, faces grim, each of you realizing just how deeply Hydra had infiltrated.

“Well,” you said quietly, “we’re screwed.”

A waitress placed mugs of coffee on the table, eyeing each of you suspiciously as you all sat, dishevelled and bruised, but everyone was too tired to care. Tony took a long sip, his fingers tapping on the table as he worked out a plan.

“Alright,” he said finally, glancing around the table. “Hydra knows exactly where we are, and they’ve got eyes on us through every camera, satellite, and hacked device in the area. If we go anywhere as one big group, we’ll be an easy target.”

“We need to split up,” Natasha said finally, her voice low and decisive. “Sticking together makes us easier to track.”

Steve nodded, crossing his arms as he leaned back. “Hydra’s already got their eyes on us, and staying in one place just makes it easier for them to send more drones, more operatives. Four groups, each heading in different directions.”

“Small teams would make us harder to find,” Sam agreed, glancing around the table. “If we’re scattered, they’d have to spread their resources thin trying to catch us all.”

Tony took out his tablet, grimacing as he remembered Hydra had accessed everything. He tossed it onto the table, frustrated. “We need to ditch the tech. Phones, and tracking devices—all compromised. Anything tied to Stark Industries is under Hydra’s surveillance now.”

“Phones too?” Peter asked, reluctantly sliding his cell onto the table.

Tony sighed, looking at Peter. “Sorry, kid, but yes. Hydra’s got access to everything. The second we power those things back on, they’ll know our every move.”

Peter reluctantly placed his phone down, and the rest of you followed suit, piling phones, earpieces, and other tracking tech on the table.

“So who’s going with who?” Sam asked, glancing around. “Might as well know who I’m babysitting for the next couple of hours.”

“Sam and I will stick together,” Steve said without hesitation. “We’ve got some experience lying low.”

“Natasha and I can pair up,” Clint added, giving her a nod. “We’ll take the west route. We know enough safe spots to lay low for a while.”

“That leaves me with Bruce and the kid,” Tony said, looking resigned but resolved. “I’ve got some equipment stashed in an old Stark facility nearby. We’ll pick up supplies there and head to the mountains.”

You could already feel it coming, the inevitable. You raised an eyebrow at Bucky, who was giving you the same look. “Guess that means we’re stuck together,” you said, trying to sound casual.

Bucky let out a low groan, running a hand down his face. “This is not my day.”

Tony smirked, clearly enjoying the pairing. “Well, look on the bright side, Barnes. At least you’ve got a chance to watch her back, since someone is currently without cuffs.”

You shot him a glare but didn’t argue. Bucky eyed you with suspicion, his gaze flicking to your shadow-powered hands before he muttered, “Yeah, great. Just what I needed.”

Everyone exchanged brief, quiet goodbyes, understanding the risk that came with splitting up. Clint and Natasha clasped hands before separating, while Tony ruffled Peter’s hair, giving him a gruff, “Stay close, kid.” Finally, you were all on the move, slipping out of the cafe one by one, trying to blend into the crowd.

You and Bucky broke off in a different direction, heading down a deserted side street, eyes peeled for a vehicle.

“What’s the plan for a ride?” Bucky asked, glancing around at the empty alley, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

You stopped as soon as you caught sight of a beat-up, dust-covered old car parked beside a loading dock, half-hidden by a pile of crates. It was an old, rusted Cadillac with chipped paint and a suspicious dent on the side. It looked like it hadn’t been touched in years, but it was all you had for now.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, eyeing the car like it might fall apart at the touch. “You really think that thing’s gonna open? Let alone start?”

You smirked, ignoring his doubts as you approached the car. “Watch and learn, Barnes.”

First, you pressed your fingers under the handle, feeling around for the gap, and slid out a thin metal lock-pick from your belt. You carefully wedged it into the crack, maneuvering the pick with the precision you’d honed over the years. Bucky watched, clearly not impressed yet, his arms crossed as he leaned against a nearby crate.

“You know, this might actually go faster if you helped,” you muttered, glancing at him.

He just shrugged. “I’m enjoying the show.”

You rolled your eyes and focused on the lock, feeling the tension adjust slightly under your pick until… click. The car door swung open, the stale smell of old upholstery hitting you in the face.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, still unimpressed. “Alright, you got it open. Now let’s see if you can actually get it running.”

You slipped into the driver’s seat, leaning down to mess with the wires under the steering column. You pulled a couple of wires free, twisted them together, and tapped them against the ignition. After a moment of silence, the car roared to life, vibrating as the engine struggled but caught on. You leaned back, a triumphant grin on your face.

“Guess I still got it,” you said, giving Bucky a smug look.

He let out a dry chuckle, shaking his head. “Yeah, well, don’t get too cocky. Move over,” he said, nodding toward the passenger seat.

“What?” you asked, frowning.

“I’m driving,” he said, one hand already reaching for the steering wheel as he gestured for you to switch seats. “I’d rather not die today, and I don’t trust you behind the wheel.”

You scoffed, feigning offense. “Excuse me, I’m a fantastic driver.”

He just raised an eyebrow, waiting. “Sure. And I’m a yoga instructor. Now move.”

Grumbling, you climbed over the center console into the passenger seat, shooting him an exaggerated glare as he slid in and took the wheel. “Alright, fine. But if we end up lost, that’s on you.”

“Noted,” he said, giving the wheel an experimental turn. The car groaned in protest but held together. “Buckle up. This is probably going to be bumpy.”

The mission was only beginning, but the stakes had never felt higher.

The old Cadillac rumbled along the winding road, the distant hum of the city long behind as the countryside stretched out around you in golden fields and thick patches of forest. It had been hours since you and Bucky had left the café, the road empty save for the occasional truck or weather-beaten farmhouse passing by.

To Bucky’s surprise, you had been silent the entire ride. No sarcastic remarks, no teasing. You just sat there, looking out the window, watching the scenery blur past. Every now and then, he’d glance at you out of the corner of his eye, expecting a comment, maybe even a smirk, but you just kept staring out the window, lost in thought.

The silence was almost peaceful, but there was something strange about it—something uncharacteristically still that made him feel like he was sitting next to a different person. He shifted in his seat, opening his mouth once or twice to say something, but the words just didn’t come. Maybe you needed the quiet.

But then, suddenly, Tony’s voice crackled through the walkie-talkie, and both of you flinched at the sound.

“Alright, check-in time,” Tony’s voice echoed. “Everyone still on the road?”

One by one, the replies came through.

“Yeah, we’re here,” Sam’s voice said, a slight edge of tension in his usually calm tone.

“We’re all good,” Natasha replied next, Clint’s voice in the background, mumbling something inaudible.

You leaned forward and grabbed the walkie from Bucky’s side, pressing the button. “Still here.”

Bucky glanced at you, eyebrows raised. It was the first thing you’d said since you got in the car, but you didn’t meet his eyes. You just stared at the walkie as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

A pause followed, then Steve’s voice came through, steady but cautious. “Alright. Listen, we can’t keep running aimlessly. We need somewhere to regroup and make a plan. Somewhere Hydra won’t track us.”

Silence fell on the line. Even though Steve had spoken the truth, no one seemed to have a solution. Finding a truly safe location, where Hydra wouldn’t sniff them out in hours, was nearly impossible. If anyone did have a safe house, Hydra had probably tracked it already, especially with the amount of data they’d managed to pull from Stark’s systems.

In the quiet, you bit your lip, hesitating. You had a place—somewhere buried so far in your past that even Hydra wouldn’t think to look for you there. But bringing everyone there… letting them see that part of you… it wasn’t something you’d planned on doing, maybe ever.

Still, this was life or death.

You took a deep breath, then pressed down on the walkie. “I know a place.”

Silence followed, and you could practically feel everyone on the other end of the line turning their heads in shock.

“You?” Clint’s voice came through, incredulous. “You have a safe house?”

“Yeah, I do,” you replied, keeping your voice steady. “It’s in Michigan. Middle of nowhere. It’s safe.”

Bucky’s eyes widened slightly as he looked at you, his brow furrowing. “Michigan? You’re telling me we have to drive twelve hours to get there?”

The line crackled again as Tony’s voice chimed in, dripping with sarcasm. “Oh, sure, let’s just take a twelve-hour road trip through the entire Northeast while Hydra’s out for blood. What could go wrong?”

You rolled your eyes, slumping back in your seat. “You have a better idea, Stark? Besides, we could stop along the way, grab something to eat, maybe even sleep. Or,” you added with a smirk, “we could all bond. Good ol’ Avengers bonding time.”

Bucky scoffed beside you, muttering under his breath. “Right. Bonding. That’s what we need.”

You couldn’t resist the urge to nudge him with your elbow, a hint of mischief in your eyes. “Come on, Barnes. It’ll be fun. Think of all the memories we’ll make.”

Bucky just gave you a deadpan look. “Memories of you trying to get us killed, maybe.”

Tony’s voice cut back in, sounding exasperated but resigned. “Fine. Let’s head for Michigan. If this is our best shot, we’ll take it. Everyone, get some food, gas up, and keep a low profile. We’ll meet up as soon as we’re out of range.”

“Copy that,” Steve’s voice came through. “See you all there.”

With a final crackle, the walkie went silent. You tossed it back onto the dashboard and leaned back, watching the sun dip lower over the countryside. The nerves that had been coiled in your stomach began to settle as you mentally prepared yourself for where you were headed.

Bucky stayed quiet for a moment, clearly mulling over the unexpected revelation that you had a place to take everyone, a place you’d never mentioned.

“So,” he said finally, glancing at you, “what’s in Michigan?”

You just shrugged, not looking at him. “Old ties, I guess. Somewhere no one would think to look.”

Bucky studied your profile for a second, something unreadable in his expression, but he didn’t press you for details. He just turned his eyes back to the road, gripping the wheel as he accelerated. The car hummed along the empty highway, and for the first time, you felt a strange sense of calm creeping in, knowing you’d be heading somewhere familiar.

After a few hours of driving through nothing but countryside and dusty roads, Bucky finally pulled the Cadillac into a small gas station on the outskirts of a rundown town. The pump was ancient, the kind you almost expected to crank by hand, and the station itself looked like it hadn’t seen a remodel since the ‘80s. Perfect, really, for laying low.

As he put the car in park, you stretched, groaning, and finally stepped out of the car, feeling your stiff muscles relax. “Alright, I’ll get food. You do...whatever grumpy, ex-Winter Soldiers do while getting gas.”

He rolled his eyes “Just try not to buy out the entire snack aisle, alright?”

“Oh, you mean like you and your gas station jerky addiction?” You said with a grin.

Without waiting for his comeback, you headed inside the convenience store. It was small and smelled faintly of burnt coffee, but it was stocked with the essentials: stale pastries, greasy bags of chips, and suspiciously flavored sodas. You went straight for the snacks, grabbing a few bags of chips, a pack of donuts that looked questionably old, and—just because you could—a bright green bottle of soda.

When you returned to the car, Bucky was finishing up at the pump, giving the Cadillac a cautious once-over as if it might fall apart any second. He looked up when you handed him the bottle.

“Green Lightning Blast?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you trying to poison me?”

“Oh, please,” you said with a smirk. “This is quality gas station soda. You’re lucky I didn’t grab Mystery Melon instead.” You leaned into the trunk, arranging the bags of chips like they were valuable cargo.

Bucky uncapped the soda, sniffed it cautiously, then took a small sip before grimacing. “Tastes like nuclear waste.”

“Good for the soul,” you quipped, popping open a bag of chips and tossing one into your mouth as you hopped into the passenger seat.

Just as he was about to follow you, Bucky suddenly stopped and glanced across the street at a dingy hardware store, a thoughtful look crossing his face.

“Hold on,” he said, sounding half to himself.

You frowned, watching him as he headed across the street. “Where the hell are you going?”

“Hardware store,” he called back, not looking over his shoulder.

“Why?” you asked, hurrying to catch up, half-amused and half-irritated. “In case you forgot, I literally control shadows. I could just snap my fingers and—” You waved your hand theatrically in front of him, “boom. Done. Easy.”

“Yeah, well, in case you forgot,” Bucky replied, deadpan, “I don’t trust things I can’t see. And I’m sure as hell not trusting my life to some tricked-out parlor magic.”

You rolled your eyes, following him inside. “Wow, sounds like someone needs a lesson in appreciating useful skills.”

He ignored your comment, grabbing a basket and heading straight for the aisle with the camping and hunting gear. You watched as he loaded up on some surprisingly heavy-duty stuff—flashlights, a utility knife, zip ties, rope, even a small hatchet.

“Are we escaping Hydra or reenacting a camping trip from hell?” you asked, leaning over the basket to eye the growing pile. “Are you planning to hunt with that, or are you just compensating for something?”

Bucky shot you a glare. “You wanna keep it down? I’m making sure we have options.”

You held up a flashlight, wiggling it in his face. “Options? This is the kind of thing that screams, ‘I live alone in a cabin and only eat canned beans.’”

Bucky just plucked the flashlight out of your hands. “I’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.”

You scoffed, but couldn’t help the grin spreading on your face. “Sure, whatever you say, Boy Scout.”

With his basket full, Bucky finally headed toward the register, where a bored-looking cashier barely glanced up as he scanned the items. When the total came up, Bucky fished around in his pocket, mumbling something about how “Tony better reimburse us for all this.”

When you finally got back to the car, Bucky loaded up the trunk, placing his hardware store haul next to the snacks you’d bought, each bag and tool meticulously arranged.

You slumped back into the passenger seat, watching as he placed the hatchet at an angle—perfectly within reach if he ever needed to grab it. He caught your eye and raised an eyebrow as if daring you to comment.

“You know,” you said, smirking as he closed the trunk, “most people just carry a pocketknife. But hey, what do I know?”

Bucky shook his head, walking around to the driver’s side. “I’m just being prepared. You want to make fun of it, go ahead, but when this axe comes in handy, I’ll remember that.”

“Oh, trust me,” you said as he got in, buckling up. “If you pull out that hatchet mid-mission, I’ll take a front-row seat to watch the show.”

As Bucky started the car, you threw a couple of chips into your mouth and glanced over, eyes bright with mischief. “So, how does it feel, Barnes? Out here on a top-secret, off-the-grid, government fugitive road trip. Just you, me, and a trunk full of discount hardware.”

He shook his head, eyes focused on the road but unable to hide the small smile tugging at his lips. “Feels like I’m babysitting an overconfident shadow with a snack addiction.”

You laughed, tossing another chip into your mouth. “Hey, you’re the one who insisted on the hatchet. I’m just here for the chips and the company.”

“Lucky me,” he muttered, accelerating as the gas station faded into the distance.

dividers by @dollywons

[transformers-nerd-13]

As promised, here's my analysis of Transformers G1; More Than Meets the Eye; Part 1. (I'm posting my episode analyses of the three episodes separately for the sake of not making this an insanely long post because look at how long this thing already is).

We open with a narration giving us a brief overview of who the Autobots and Decepticons are.

We're introduced to Bumblebee and Wheeljack who've found some conductors (presumably energy conductors). They head back to Iacon, but are interrupted by a "Decepticon Welcoming Committee" aka the Seekers who all had different voices than the ones they end up with later for reasons that will never be explained.

Bumblebee is wounded in the battle, but we're going to ignore that because it never gets brought up again and he’s perfectly fine later. The Seekers go to report to Megatron while Wheeljack and Bumblebee make it back to Iacon. We're introduced to Soundwave and Laserbeak who are spying on the Autobots--Soundwave almost gets caught but luckily because Jazz is blind as a bat, Soundwave doesn't get caught.

Jazz reports to Optimus about a lack of energy on the planet and Optimus tells Prowl that they'll start the search mission for energy whenever Prowl is ready to launch. Cut to the Decepticons where Starscream is standing with the sassiest pose of all time and Megatron is doing the classic villain rant about how the Decepticons must find an energy source before the Autobots.

Soundwave enters and reports that the Autobots are ready to launch and Megatron says that they are also ready (I guess they had the same plan to go search for energy??). Megatron tells Shockwave that he is to stay behind and keep watch over Cybertron in the absence of literally every other Decepticon, but Shockwave assures Megatron that Cybertron will remain as he leaves it.

Starscream then decides now is a good time to whine about not being the leader of the Decepticons to which Megatron tells him that only a select few ever lead. Starscream tells Megatron that his time will come, but Megatron tells him "NEVER!!" before changing gears remarkably fast and tells...someone to prepare to blast off. (I'm assuming he was talking to Soundwave but he was looking at Starscream).

The Autobots and Decepticons launch their respective ships. But two asteroids collide causing an asteroid shower (yeah that's definitely how that works) causing all sorts of chaos including the Decepticons somehow losing their power and Jazz falling out of his chair. They get through the now suddenly very still asteroid field by using the Ark's laser gun and the Decepticons follow them. Starscream says that they should just blow the Autobots away since they've seen them, but Megatron says that he "wants to know what they're after." Um...sir? They're after energy, just like you?? I thought you knew this???

Jazz--who has gotten back into the pilot's seat off screen--reports that the cons have made a magnetic junction to the Ark and that he can't shake them. They try to use their weapons but their power is somehow already used up. The cons board the Ark where a (simply put) chaotic battle takes place. Somehow they lose control of the Ark within less than ten seconds of the cons boarding and crash into the side of a volcano and die.

Yep, they were dead.

For Four Million years.

Mhm.

Somehow the volcano erupting woke up Teletraan One and it sent out the Sky Spy (a little probe thing) that scanned some earth vehicles while the Ark rebuilt the Decepticons first (for some reason—literally no idea why it did this). Skywarp is revived first, and he revives the other Decepticons. The cons leave the Ark and Megatron declares that much time has passed and they're on a planet far from Cybertron (oh y'think? Also, how do you know? You've been dead for 4 million years!! Not to mention it took less than two minutes for you to get into space and crash on this random planet so it can't be THAT far) but their mission hasn't changed.

Skywarp asks how they know Cybertron still exists (fair question but unprompted) and Megatron says that Cybertron must exist (Lot of faith you've got in Shockwave there bub, I mean, yes, this is Shockwave we're talking about but he's just one bot--you literally left ONE Decepticon on Cybertron dude and he doesn't even know you're still alive! And how do you know that he's still alive??) and that they would gather energy from this planet to conquer Cybertron followed by the universe.

Starscream (for some reason) shoots at the Ark. Megatron tells him to save his energy, but Starscream fires a few more shots anyway, this time hitting some rocks on the side of the cliff they've been standing on that fall onto the Ark. This jostles the ship and causes Optimus to finally be noticed by Teletraan One and Teletraan is like "Oh scrap I forgot to fix the Autobots, WHOOPS" and fixes Optimus who gives Teletraan a thumbs up and a quick "Thanks".

Dunno if I'd be that chipper after being revived from death, I mean, I'd be panicking, and then I'd see my dead friends and see that the cons were gone and consider myself in some seriously deep slag so, Idk props to you for being optimistic?--Pun intended.

The cons set up a base by some tall rocks in the desert that are literally RIGHT NEXT TO A ROAD. Robots in disguise my boron compressor! Soundwave prepares plans for a new space cruiser (I guess in addition to being the communications officer Soundwave is also an aerospace engineer??) while Starscream is told to convert the area for construction and is told to "use his imagination" when it came to materials.

Starscream does NOT however use his imagination, he uses Soundwave's. He asks Soundwave if he has any ideas, and Soundwave points out a conveniently placed...radio tower? Power station? Truly have no idea what this is. We're introduced to Rumble and Soundwave instructs him to activate his pile-drivers, but Rumble doesn't do that because Starscream takes off for the radio-power plant thing.

Cut back over to the Autobots who have all been revived off screen. Optimus tells them that this planet is rich with sources of energy but that the Decepticons must already know this because Teletraan One woke them up first (thanks a lot Teletraan), so they must find the cons and stop them. Prime sends Hound and CliffJumper to go find the cons even though Cliffjumper wants to "boot some Decepticon right in his turbocharger" (whatever that means; probably ‘kick some con’s butt’). Cut back over to the cons where we see Starscream, Rumble and Soundwave landing at the power-radio tower thing and Starscream (unprompted) tells Rumble that some day he'll be the one calling the shots, but Rumble basically says "ha ha yeah right" and Starscream tells him that he will find a way to beat Megatron but Rumble is doubtful of that. Rumble then finally activates his pile-drivers and splits the ground a bit causing some of the machinery at the plant to fall into it halfway and Starscream says that he's impressed by this. You must be very easily impressed sir.

Cut over to CliffJumper and Hound. Hound says that he smells something and that he thinks he's just found the Decepticons (so you weren't following a scent trail before this?? You were just driving around praying you found something?? Also do the Decepticons smell different than Autobots?? How do you know it's the Decepticons and not other Autobots???) and tells CliffJumper to follow him but they stop literally two seconds later (the "follow me" was unnecessary, you could've left it at "I think we've just found the cons" and it would've been completely fine lol) having stumbled upon the Decepticon's half constructed base? Space cruiser? Really not clear what this is meant to be here. CliffJumper wants to fight but Hound reminds him that Prime just told them to find the cons. Right now the cons think the bots are dead; it's better to have them think that they're dead at the moment for the sake of the element of surprise.

Hound uses a little satellite dish in his arm to listen in on the cons who are conveniently monologuing their whole evil plan about plundering earth's resources for energy and turning that energy into energon cubes (which were a Decepticon invention in G1) and the new space cruiser.

Off screen, Cliffjumper has assembled a giant gun (where the hell was he storing that?? I'm just gonna say it was in his subspace) and says that he's "Got Megatron dead center in his viewfinder." And fires. And misses.

Dead center huh?

The cons wonder who could be firing on them and Starscream immediately says that the Autobots could be the only ones firing on them. Starscream. Buddy. As far as you know, the bots are dead. How is this the first logical conclusion you come to??

Soundwave sends Laserbeak to investigate and Cliff and Hound make a run--or, more accurately, roll--for it. Good job Cliff. Apparently neither CliffJumper nor Hound have ever seen Laserbeak before?? Cliff asks Hound “What is that thing up there?” And Hound replies that he doesn’t know. I feel like they would've seen him at some point when the war was still on Cybertron? Idk.

Anyway, CliffJumper and Hound split up because Laserbeak can only follow one of them, right? WRONG. Apparently Laserbeak can detach his guns from his body and still be in control of them??? So he sends one of his blasters after Cliff, who defeats the blaster with some mockery and the fumes from his exhaust which make the blaster explode for some reason.

Laserbeak shoots Hound and causes him to tumble down a cliff in the most dramatic way possible.

During the commercial break, CliffJumper apparently found Hound at the bottom of the ravine/cliff and went back to the Ark to get help in the form of Ratchet and Grapple, who would never again be referred to as "Hauler". Cliff apologizes to Hound for firing on the cons and getting them caught, but Hound tells him "You shouldn't have missed you mean" with a good natured laugh which makes Cliff feel better about the situation.

Yes, this is a nice moment, but Hound is unknowingly supporting CliffJumper’s reckless nature in the future. Cliff directly disobeyed an order from Prime and one of his teammates got hurt because of it. This would've been a learning opportunity for Cliff if Hound hadn't laughed it off.

Cut over to Thundercracker and the Reflector triplets talking about how they couldn't believe the Autobots survived before Thundercracker spots something out in the desert which just looks like a dust cloud. Somehow Thundercracker changes positions to be on the ground almost right in front of the van/truck so that it’s driving directly at him when he's taking a picture of the van/truck using Reflector's camera Alt Mode (how three bots transform and combine to form ONE camera that fits in the palm of a Transformer I will never know; I guess mass shifting?) instead of on the cliff he was on seconds before when taking the picture of it and after he takes the picture he's suddenly back on the cliff?? Thundercracker reports the vehicle to Soundwave saying it might be an Autobot. Soundwave sends Ravage to investigate for some reason even though Thundercracker and the Reflector triplets are right there.

The vehicle belongs to two guys in matching outfits with yellow hard hats so what exactly their jobs are remain ambiguous. The two men go to the radio/power plant thing that Rumble wrecked earlier, and they comment on how it looks like a tornado hit the place and that something feels wrong.

That's when Ravage attacks them for seemingly no reason and sends them running, and we never see those two guys again.

Cut to the Ark where Hound has just finished reporting what he and Cliff found to Prime as Ratchet fixes him up. Jazz and Sideswipe are also in the scene for some reason. Optimus tells Jazz to organize a battle unit and Jazz takes that to mean 'get every Autobot'. This is the cartoon's way of introducing the other Autobots to the viewer as Jazz calls out their names as they Transform and Roll out. This is a good way to introduce the characters, but it would've been more effective if each bot got their own shot so that it’s clear that the name being called belonged to the autobot on screen. But it was the 80’s so I’m not gonna harp on this too much.

Cut over to the Decepticons where Soundwave is reporting to Megatron that Laserbeak found a source of energy (apparently he sent Laserbeak to go find energy sources off screen).

Cut over to an oil rig where we meet Spike, Sparkplug, and a handful of other unnamed humans who are all wearing the same outfit of a white button up, blue jeans and yellow hard hats that we won't see again until Dr. Archevil (no idea how you spell his name; that weird cyborg scientist) shows up. The Decepticons land on the oil rig and all the humans decide to start throwing random stuff at them which proves ineffective (like seriously what did they think throwing tiny pipes and wrenches at giant robots was going to do??) and Megatron calmly picks up a giant metal tube and tosses it at four of the unnamed humans, and all of those humans end up in the ocean below, never to be seen again.

Rumble pins Sparkplug to the wall (I had no other way to say that, get your minds out of the gutter) and Spike punches Rumble in the back which does nothing but annoy Rumble who shoves him away in response (I'm betting that hitting Rumble hurt Spike more than it hurt Rumble). I guess Sparkplug must have some super strength because he kicks Rumble off him and dives after Spike who apparently ended up in the ocean after Rumble hit him.

The Decepticons make some energon cubes that really look like folded towels out of some of the oil stored in the rig.

Starscream gets all excited saying that they can go back to Cybertron, but Megatron bursts his bubble by telling him that this is only a fraction of the energy they need. The Autobots (who could fly I guess) show up. The bots land and everyone is firing at each other with the aim of a Stormtrooper.

The bots and cons duke it out on the oil rig and I guess someone knocked out Ratchet at some point because he's just...on the ground?? The cons get away with their Energon cubes/towels, shooting the oil rig to send the Autobots into the ocean below, and Megatron shoots two of the oil containers on the sinking rig which blow up and now the ocean is on fire?? (If someone knows the science behind this please tell me in the comments because I don't know if this is actually plausible or not) as they make their getaway.

After the cons leave, Prime hears Spike and Sparplug calling for help because they got trapped behind some debris and goes to rescue them. 

And that was Episode One of the Transformers. Overall a very silly episode but it's an 80's cartoon so what're you gonna do? It’s definitely the episode of G1 that I’ve watched the most and while it doesn’t always make sense, it’s a very fun watch.

Anyways, I hope this was enjoyable! I’ll probably be posting my analysis on More Than Meets the Eye Part 2 sometime tomorrow. In the meantime, stay tuned!

[in1-nutshell]

I just love the premise that, whenever Maxima or Lithia go "(Character Name), I needed that!"

Ratchet, who could be anywhere from the next room over, to on a whole other planet, just gets hit with this sudden, inexplicable feeling of pride pulsing from deep within his spark.

YES!

Ratchet just knows when his nieces/ daughter does something that makes him swell with pride.

It is an extra sense he acquired over time.

Some examples are and not limited to...

Maxima: *Sees Smokescreen crush her paper mache volcano that she had been working on with Raf all afternoon* Smokescreen! I needed that! Ratchet: *By his work station* What is this feeling...

Lithia showing Bumblebee how to correctly use a laser scalpel Lithia: Bee your holding it wrong-- Bee accidentally cuts another tool with the laser, Lithia: *Taking a big vent* Bee... I was going to need that for later. Ratchet: *Picking up Raf from school* There it is again. Raf: What's there again? Ratchet: A sense of pride in someone else...

Ophelia and Steve helping Fix-it fix a stasis pods door. Ophelia: I think we are just about-- Steve: *Sees a large shadow rapidly descending on the group and scoops his Conjunx and Fix-it before it came crashing down* The three of them look over at a fallen Sideswipe as he gets a mangled tool from his backside. Ophelia: Sideswipe! We need that. Sideswipe: Oops... Ratchet: *On the road somewhere* ...Where is this coming from...

Rapidfire: *Trying to fix the ship* Can someone pass me my wrench? CRUNCH! Rapidfire looks at a guilty Bulkhead and a squashed wrench under his pede. Rapidfire: *Takes a deep vent* Bulkhead, I needed that! Ratchet:*In one of the storage rooms* ... I feel understood somehow... maybe I should get in an extra hour of recharge...

Bonus!

Iron Bolt is the official name for Bulkhead's daughter with the opposite personality

Iron Bolt: * under the main computers desk fixing a glitch in the system*: Can someone pass me the flashlight? CRUNCH! Iron Bolt immediately comes out from the desk to see Wheeljack holding the lob ball and the bits of the flashlight on the floor. Iron Bolt glares at the Wrecker. Iron Bolt: Uncle Wheeljack, I needed that! Wheeljack: Sorry kiddo. Ratchet: *Just walking into the base* My mood has just gotten better for some reason...

Ratchet sensing the pride

[totaldramaweb]

ALEJANDRO BURROMUERTO CASUAL HC'S.

• he tans weekly on the family's tanning machine (in a speedo, yes). twice a week on winter since he gets paler on cold.

• he always smells like cologne. even sweating, he stills smells very dense. he's always re-applying deodorant/perfume.

• used to shave his whole body with laser at the spa. after the volcano incident, he didn't grow body hair for a long time, so when It grew back he just let himself become hairy (only bodily).

• had a lot of hiperfixations growing up. he didn't quite have any friends so he used most of his time obsessed on a certain activity until he reached perfection, then dropped it to hop on another.

• he prefers reptiles over dogs or cats. but he likes dogs tho, he claims they are loyal and follow blindly.

• José lost one of his pets, never had any other due fear, yet he dreams of having a snake.

• he is a terrible joker. he can do a lot of things but joking is not one of them. he only remembers some jokes of his dad's comedy book he readed back on his childhood.

• he's a great cooker. he always made his mom company when she cooked dinner, he learnt from her.

• he has a guilty pleasure on writting, mainly poetry, and he's great at it. he actually takes It seriously and treat other themes beyond romance or clichés, perhaps even has a diary of his writings.

• he doesnt like movies because he claims he "doesnt have time for them" (canon on his tdwt blog introduction) but this actually raised among his dad telling him that, claiming he should use his time for better like studying or getting better at something. plus, everytime he wanted to see one, José would push him from the TV and take It for himself.

• he actually rarely has genuine fun. the only fun he gets is usually from his recreational activities, and even so, he concentrates more on being perfect on them rather than enjoy. and he does a lot, maybe to avoid being alone with his thoughts for too long before they overwhelm him.

• has photographic memory, and it's very good at remembering faces and places.

• he did just judge his babysitters until tears only to get some attention from his parents. he didn't want to be taken care of, he wanted to prove he's able to take care of himself, like José who didn't need one. he also just wanted to be looked at by them, to spend time with his parents instead of old ladies and annoying teens.

• they speak full spanish at home, he took english lessons since his first years, but didn't really used it until he moved to Canada.

• due his dad being a diplomat, he lived his first years on Spain before finding himself moving from country to country. Like Peru, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Japan, and many more until Canada. His dad worked at the embajadas of Spain in many countrys doing comercy deals between countrys and etc, he had to stay for long times in such countrys and his kids and wife following along wherever the head of the family went. Alejandro had a hard time doing friends on his new schools, eventually all the changes and the mindset he grew leaded him to be who he is, remaining friends is still a hard duty for him. He learnt that everyone leaves and due that he could at least get what he wants from them and It wouldn't be that wrong, he always dissappear from peoples lives and it's something he can't control. Hello, Drama Machine...

- 🕯️

[seat-safety-switch]

Real estate in my area is depressing. There’s the usual: unaffordable condos, unaffordable row homes, unaffordable single-family homes. Boring! Where’s the castles? Where are the volcano fortresses? I can scroll the listings all day long and not a single torture pit or giant laser dome will appear before my wondering eyes.

Part of this is no doubt because of economic incentives. Something like a tank full of sharks that you slowly lower spies into is expensive to maintain – we’re talking sharks, shark food, water, water filtering, the occasional liability lawsuit. Not only that, but any realtor worth their salt is gonna tell you to get rid of it, since it makes the room look smaller. In their eyes, most customers are not “shark tank” people, and they may be thrown off by its presence during a walk-through. Better to move it somewhere else, and put out some decorative throw pillows to cover the spot where it used to sit.

This even affects me, a person with no particular bent towards supervillainy. What do I want? A large industrial space for storing cars, car parts, car accessories, and broken cars. And it would be nice to have a place to put a bed, and maybe a toilet. Does the real estate market provide me with such a building? No. Which is why I’m currently taking a shit at the 7-Eleven, because my bathroom is full of moped parts. I know it’s just for staff, Ethan.

Perhaps I should just be grateful. I heard that some big Hollywood star ended up with a castle addiction. They’re expensive to heat, castles. Just couldn’t stop buying them, the community association was soaking him for every red cent. That’s how they get you, you know. Moat fees. Plus the parking sucks.

[torpublishinggroup]

This advertisement is for Starter Villain, a new science fiction adventure from Hugo Award–winning author John Scalzi.

In a dog-eat-dog world…be a cat.

When Charlie inherits his uncle’s villain business, one of the most surprising things about it is the cats. The sentient, super-intelligent, computer-using cats.

And let’s not even get started on the dolphins.

WHAT IT'S ABOUT

When divorced substitute teacher Charlie’s long-lost uncle Jake dies, he’s not expecting much. Certainly not to inherit a supervillain business, complete with an island volcano lair, giant laser death rays, lava pits, and hyper-intelligent talking spy cats.

But it gets worse.

Because his uncle wasn’t just a supervillain. He was a supervillain who was in the middle of trying to take down the other supervillains. Somewhere along the way he decided that the rich, soulless predators back by multinational corporations and venture capital were a bad idea. And they needed to be stopped.

And now they’re after Charlie.

[nshtn]

Wesker has a massive ego to cover up his lack thereof within.

personal hc / just me illegibly scrawling about the nature of uro!wesker's narcissism <3 tw: medical, childhood trauma

The idea that he is Umbrella’s biggest failure keeps him up at night, swirling around his neck like a noose every time he has to inject PG67A/W – the insane, stark difference between properly medicated and missed by two hours flattens him and destabilizes his composition. It doesn't show outwardly as much other than irritation and snappiness, but it broils within.

Fighting Chris, holding back, not letting himself kill the man because of the very compassion they worked so hard to erase – it makes him feel weak. The conflict between hating what they’ve done to him and the urge to be the monster they’ve made is intense. He has blown people away for something as small as being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and yet something small and decrepit inside of him swells and blocks his perfect aim when the man who destroys his progress crawls back for another spar? Pathetic.

His laser focus on the sterile apathy of hypothesis, theory, test, production is a way of detaching from the fragile self within, allowing him to reprieve from his personal thoughts for as long as he can keep himself awake and slavering. You don’t question when you’re splicing. You don’t ponder the principles that guide you and the sanity of your slipping framework when you’re comparing before-and-after strands. The threat of having to think about something he perceives to be as useless as feelings and dealing with the buried, petrified remains of what were once his morals keeps his nose firmly in his work. He talks about his work. He debates on his work. He attends meetings on his work. He succeeds in his work. He does not tend to, discuss, or debate his feelings.

He covers this conflict up, mental bandaid and gauze, by outwardly projecting a massive, bloviating ego; focusing only on his worth as the world’s greatest virologist, the world’s most powerful bioweapons dealer, the world’s most benevolent, unshakable savior… being cold, cruel, heartless; entertaining no space of play, no downtime when he is sick or stumbling. It is what he knows, the harbor he has always thrown his rope to regardless of how he has been impaled by its’ rocks. He clings to these titles and his sycophants tread their legitimacy into a reality even as his big black boot suffocates the life around him.

The truth is, Wesker has no chance to survive, ultimately, as he is. His blathering about ‘delaying the inevitable’ finds its’ truth nestled in himself: he continually delays the ultimate, final mental break to destruct his sanity irreversibly and turn his mind feral to his own viruses, by drowning in his obsessions – obsessions that will ultimately betray him no matter how he fosters them.

And it is why, when Chris finally rains hell upon him in that volcano, he goes completely, utterly feral. He does not get the out that Hidalgo had to T-Veronica, or the reprieve of control that Ashford artificially chained to herself. The very last straw to grasp is attempting to execute him for the monster he is.

There is no ledge left to prop him up after that.

[floralcavern]

Magical Girl world lore

Teen girls gifted with Charms that give them super powers have to defend the world from an alien invasion while also fighting off a rogue magical girl.

The Uzbuis

The Uzbuis are a race of aliens from a relativity small planet several light years away. They are from a solar system with 10 planets, 4 of which are inhabited with life (their’s being one of them, of course). 

The Uzbuis wanted to travel the world and galaxies, especially since one of their neighbors, the powerful and dangerous Gevays, seemed to be rather… war hungry. 

So, the Uzbuis surf through the galaxies, the closest one that is inhabited with life being the rather early with human life, Earth. 

Two aliens, human names being Flake and Raineth, are leaders of this missions. They help humanity develop, helping build the pyramids and whatnot (wow, Ancient Aliens was right all along!)

But the two of them begin to realize that humanity is… dangerous. They come from a rather peaceful planet from a naturally mellow race, so seeing humans constantly fuck things up for themselves intimidates them. Especially since they tried exploring the galaxies because of their already violent neighbors. 

So, the rest of the research group decides to leave, thinking it’s just not worth it. However, Flake and Raineth decide to stay. 

The two use the most powerful substance they have, stardust, to forge what they believe shall help humanity. 

The Charms

These charms are to turn humans, specifically women, into super powered beings who can protect humanity. Now, they did only make 4 because they didn’t really comprehend that Earth is way bigger than their planet. And, why only women? It was actually Raineth’s idea! They saw how human women were treated by these societies and they were horrified. So, they decided to make it to where only women have the ability to use the Charms. 

There’s the Heart Charm. This grants the user laser vision and the ability to control people’s heart rates. This Charm’s failsafe is granting the holder wings to escape from dangerous situations when the user is weak. 

There’s the Diamond Charm. This grants the user light reflection and shields. This Charm’s failsafe is earthquakes to drive enemies away when the user is weak. 

There’s the Lightning Charm. This grants the user electricity and the ability to create deafening sounds. This Charm’s failsafe is attracting anything magnetic to the user to serve as shields when the user is weak.

There’s the Star Charm. This grants the user flight and explosions. This Charm’s failsafe is granting the user invisibility when the user is weak. 

And finally, there’s the Rain Charm. This grants the user water and ice manipulation. This Charm’s failsafe is shutting down any nearby enemies’ heartbeats by controlling their bloodstreams when the user is weak. 

Once the Charms are bonded to a human, it sticks with them, the Charm unable to be used by anyone else until that human is dead. 

Now, Raineth and Flake’s plan was to only offer these Charms to those who are worthy. But once humans learn about the power they hold, they try to do everything in their power to take them for themselves. At one point, the Star Charm had been taken by humans, using it to cause mass destruction and even nearly successfully taking over that side of the world. 

Once they successfully stop them and get the Charm back, Flake and Raineth realize how dangerous these charms are and that maybe humans just.. really aren’t worth it. But Raineth wants to persist, much to Flake’s dismay. 

Raineth decided to protect the Charms for the rest of their life, waiting until they finds the perfect potential users. But once humans learn that Raineth has them, they kill them to get to the charms. 

Flake, seeing them dead, slaughters this entire race. He decides ”fuck this” and goes to destroy the Charms. Now, these are made of literal stardust. So, he needed a lot of great power to do that. He stumbles across a volcano and realizes that it’s perfect!

So, he drops the Star Charm into there. And before he could destroy the others, the volcano suddenly starts becoming very active and very dangerous. He realized that if he were to drop any of the Charms in there, it would destroy the whole Earth. And, he’s tempted to do it, but knows it’s not what Raineth would want. (Yes, Flake is responsible for Yellowstone) So he decides to go into hiding, using his shapeshifting ability to hide amongst humans and live a quiet life. Since he’s from a world literal light years away, he ages much slower. And he can’t go back because his rocket rides on stardust, which he has none of. 

By the time it’s the 21st century, it’s only been a few months back on Flake’s home planet. 

Flake hacked into NASA documents to keep track of anything suspicious and when there’s signs of what is most likely Gevays coming to Earth, Flake sadly has to bring the Charms out, much to his dismay. 

Except, well… Flake is still kind of living in the past, not realizing that humanity has changed way more than he can ever realize. So, he gives the Charms to very young girls. Like, 2 in highschool and 1 in middle school. He wasn’t really used to the idea that humans live longer than their 20s.

So the Diamond Charm goes to famous model with a heart of gold, Ellery ‘Ellie’ Collins. The Lightning Charm goes to delinquent with a soft center, Kiazzu Dekker. And the Rain Charm goes to lonely and anxiety ridden River Oliveira. 

The Heart Charm? Well, it accidentally got into the hands of the wrong person, who’s using it to spread mayhem and destruction under the name Heartstopper. 

Later, an alien named Kavinnth from Flake’s planet shows up to warn him about the invasion. But, her ship was destroyed along the way, so now she’s stuck here too. 

Uzbui Race

The Uzbui race doesn’t have ‘sex’. They have no genitals and they reproduce asexually. Pronouns mean nothing to them. Flake goes by he/him because he disguised as a male centuries ago because his overall demeanor fell more into that category of stereotypes and it’s just kind of stuck now. 

But there are 3 what could be considered ‘genders’ for the Uzbui race. 

Coararams

These are the scavengers. They have retractable claws and very strong tails that they can use to hang from trees. They can also imitate noises to damn near perfection. Their roles are to gather supplies and make sure the environment is safe. They also have the ability to shapeshift. 

They tend to have scales in this color

Flake and Kavinnth are both Coararams. 

Savavs 

These are protectors. They have horns and back spikes, incredible strength and extremely strong jaws and sharp teeth. Their roles are to fight off any potential predators and threats to keep their families safe. 

They tend to have scales in this color

Evedens

These are the caregivers. They have antennae that can soothe the mind of whomever they are touching. They also are the ones who have the ability to produce food for babies. Their roles are to keep the family and home safe, taking care of children. 

They tend to have scales in this color

Raineth was an Eveden.

Now, it is very common for Uzbui’s to be polyamorous. Specifically by threes. It is part of their actual biology to be naturally inclined to mate this way. 

Flake and Raineth were the strange ones for being completely closed off for only one another. 

[haveyouplayedthisttrpg]

Have you played THEY CAME FROM [CLASSIFIED] ?

By Onyx Path Publishing

It’s the fab 60’s here in London. The music is groovy, the girls are a go-go and the agents are secret. Beneath the brightly colored suits and revealing cocktail dresses is a world of conspiracy and subterfuge. Criminal Masterminds with doomsday devices set their plans for world domination in motion. Jewel thieves steal millions leaving no trail behind. Dictators invade nations and auction off intelligence to other evildoers. All cases the Agency takes and sends its best and brightest to handle.

Based off classic 1960’s spy films and television programs, play as actors playing characters based off spy archetypes. The no nonsense detective with the deadly intuition. The suave operative charming his way through the toughest of situations. The inventive Quartermaster using their gadgets and doodads to save the day and other famous types of spies you’ve seen sneak through volcano lairs and lavish bars. With the GM as the director of this flick be prepared for a game of secret plots, backstabbing betrayals, super sleuthing and the occasional one liner. Classic movie tropes, cheap special effects and bad editing are just as useful to the actors as any laser pen or exploding cufflink is to the character. Included with the game is a set of “plot” cards the director could draw to make a quick fiendish plot ready for the foiling and even play “Twist” cards to impose dramatic twists to agents and raise the stakes of the narrative. The Queen (and our box office numbers) is counting on you agent.

[pigswithwings]

my original characters beam. my deadly laser of original character thoughts. my horrible sword forged in the Thinking Of My Characters volcano. all of these combine to kill you immediately. you can't handle my ocs. you don't know my ocs. i am not putting them on the phone i am handing them the gun and letting them shoot you