#Laredo Building

[katnissandpeetamellark]

Folk is a massive part of my mom’s family — singers and such in the fam—

Anyways! Occasionally some of them give me their folk records which is bomb. Big fan of vinyl. BUT tell me why it took me way too long to realize The Ballad of Lucy Gray Baird is set to the tune of The Streets of Laredo lmao😭😂

[strange-messengers]

Abandoned building, Nuevo Laredo, Mexico

[wildemaven]

Came across this on Pinterest and right away thought of your Night School Teacher Javier - even has the opened shirt collar (yes please)

my place or yours | javier peña

pairing - night school teacher!javier peña x night school teacher f!reader word count - 1276 content warning - 18+ blog; just a lot of fluff, reader is mentioned wearing a dress and a necklace- but zero description features, no y/n, established relationship with in this piece notes - K, as soon as I saw this photo, my mind started buzzing! I’ve been on the fence still about writing these two but I wanted to get this out since it came to me so quickly. Thank you for sharing this!!! masterlist

A heat advisory had been issued in Laredo and the surrounding areas for the last week. Your classroom provided little relief for you and your students earlier in the evening as the central air conditioning for the school had gone out days into the heatwave.

It was a combined effort to alleviate some of the warm stagnant air within the old building. You and Javier propped your classroom doors open, while a few open windows supplied a draft across the hall as the evening sun set and the temperature began to drop to a more bearable degree. 

Day 3 of trying to keep your room cool while teaching had you throwing in the white flag. Your students were all too excited at your suggestion to push their test back to next week and dismiss them, welcoming the weekend a whole hour earlier than usual. You wished them a good evening as they eagerly packed away their belongings, bidding their goodbyes as they left your classroom. 

As you were finishing gathering your books and organized stacks of ungraded papers, movement in your peripheral caught your attention. 

Javier moved about the front of his own classroom, his hands alternating between shuffling through the papers he was holding and pointing out key points he had written out on the blackboard. It was a normal sight for you at this point since he moved into the classroom across the hall. These past few days have opened up ample opportunities for you to catch a glimpse of him lost in teaching without a barrier of doors in the way. 

In this moment, Javier was enough of a distraction to halt any progress you had made in cleaning up for the weekend. His sports coat had been discarded and draped over the back of the wooden chair that was left in an off-kilter manner behind his desk. The dark slacks he wore were a snug fit, accentuating his narrow waist. The appearance of his dress shirt had at some point turned from studious refinement to a very relaxed look— the latter being your favorite if you were being honest. The sleeves rolled and secured higher than their normal appearance, his forearms flexed freely without the restraint of the shirt fabric. His deco scallop patterned necktie had been removed and was laying over his sports coat, allowing for the top unbuttoned portion of his shirt to fall open freely. 

You had fallen into a trance, with your eyes glued to the way his neck tensed and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he spoke, you hadn’t realized that you were now standing in the doorway of your classroom. 

Javier’s intuition must have sensed something, his steps faltering a bit as his eyes found yours staring at him from across the hall. The way the corner of his eyes crinkled up slightly and his perfect lopsided grin grew just enough to make his dimple a prominent part of his surprised expression. 

There was a beat of silence as Javier stood there taking you in, almost forgetting his students that sat patiently, filling the rows of rigid desks. His brows narrowed as his brain slowly came to the realization that your class was empty and you were no longer teaching. 

He shot you a wink that caused a sudden fluttering sensation to travel from your lower belly and settle in your chest, before giving his attention back to his class and his form disappearing as he stepped further into the room. 

You shoulder into the doorway, your fingers absentmindedly sliding along the dainty gold chain that hangs from your neck as commotion spills from Javier’s room. 

Student after student exit with books wearing a mixture of gleeful laughter and impassive expressions as they fill the hallway walking in the direction of the nearest parking lot. 

Your attention is directed back to the classroom across from you as the flurry of activity dies down.  

“Hi.” Javier says standing with one hand tucked in his front pocket while the other holds a rather large book containing pages and pages of material he has to cover before the end of the semester. 

“Hi.” You smile at him, as your thumb runs back and forth along the seam of your lips. 

“Not like you to let them out—“ Javier begins to say as he removes his hand from his pocket to inspect the time on his watch, eyebrows raised in surprise. “A whole hour early.” His eyes locked back with yours. 

“Oh stop—  It’s too hot to think. They were groaning and getting restless. Besides, you would have done the same thing if you thought of it first.” 

You watch as he makes his way to you, causing you to turn so your back is now leaning against the door frame when he joins you. 

“I let them go, didn’t I?” He smirks. 

“You did. Any longer and they would have been too distracted to hear anything else you were saying.” Your teeth catch your bottom lip in hopes to contain the smirk that’s slowly forming. 

“How so?” His head ticks to the side, hoping you plan to offer him some sort of explanation. 

Before you say anything, your pointer finger finds its way to the opening of his shirt. Gliding up and down the v-shape then settling at the bottom where the first fastened button rests in the middle of his sternum. 

“You’re very distracting like this. Makes sense why there’s always a mad dash of students fighting over those front row seats every night.” 

“Sounds like you know from experience?” His voice is hushed as he steps closer to you, his free hand resting on your hip, the fabric of your dress bunching under his grip. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Your finger hooks into his shirt and you pull him even closer to close the gap between your bodies. “We’re alone.” You whisper against his lips, your hand slipping under his shirt, feeling his dewy skin under your fingertips as you wait for him to make the final move. 

With both classrooms now empty, you’re the only two in this wing of the building. 

It had been a few months since things had become more serious for you and Javier. Still wanting to take things slow, you both kept things under wraps for the time being while on school grounds. But that didn’t mean you didn’t take advantage of moments like this when it was just the two of you. 

Javier’s lips meld with yours, atoning for lost time while silently promising to make up for it the rest of the weekend. There’s a loud clatter as his book falls on the ground. His hands find their way to your face, gently tracing the contours as if trying to reacquaint himself with every feature he loves about you. 

“My place or yours?” You break the kiss before it advances into something more, your breath mingling with his. 

“My place has air conditioning.” 

“But my bed is comfier.” You hinted as you traced lightly over his collarbone. “Cold showers never killed anyone.” 

“Not yet at least.” He bends down to pick up his book, then stands to his full height and kisses you briefly one more time. “Your place tonight, then my place tomorrow after breakfast— before it gets too hot.” 

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” 

“Lock up and get your stuff, I’ll meet you back here in 5.” He pats your ass playfully as he begins the short walk back to his classroom. 

“You’re trouble, Peña.” You quip over your shoulder to him. 

“Last I checked, you loved it.” He says with a wink and smiles at you. 

“I really do.”

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 15- She Shoots, She Scores

Summary: You and Javi go to visit your family in Chicago. Javi gets his first chance to see snow, the two of you are tasked with unexpected baby sitting duty, and your family is... well, your family.

Word Count: 13.3K (I mean like... Could be worse?)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (don't be a fool, wrap your tool), creampie, praise kink, big ole breeding kink (you watch Javi hold a baby, what do you expect), talks of building a family, grief/loss of a family member, trying to talk about death/loss with a child (UGH sweet little Olivia), mentions of eating, mentions of drinking/being hungover (your dad had a rough night out with his besties), there is literally so much future dad!Javi content in this chapter and I am not sorry about it at all

A/N: Okay I am not gonna lie, the self indulgent part of me was SO excited to get our girl out on the ice in some hockey skates and kick ass 🤪 There are so many things that make me smile about this chapter besides that- the fact that Javi has probably never seen snow before this trip, Javi and Osita babysitting together and being the cutest future parents (please excuse me while I SCREAM into a pillow) and Osita's family just being who they are. Nothing really holiday themed about this chapter at all, just some good, old fashioned midwest winter fun!

Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter

“Baby, I’m telling you, you’re gonna wanna pack warmer stuff than that. I don’t think you understand how cold Chicago is this time of year.” You laughed to yourself as you peeked over at Javi’s suitcase, sitting on top of yours to try and cram as many sweaters and sweatshirts in as possible to brace yourself for the reality you knew was winter in the midwest. 

After spending the first half of your winter break together in Laredo, you and Javi had agreed to make your way out to your family to spend the second part of the holidays with them. As much as you had grown to love everything about life in Laredo, there was something about Chicago at Christmas time that filled you with a warmth and happiness you couldn’t wait to share together with Javi. The only problem was, Javi had never once experienced weather colder than your last trip to Chicago in October, let alone the brutal Illinois winter he was in for tomorrow when your flight landed, and the temperature was about to drop 40 degrees. 

“Osita, I find it hard to believe that it’s that fucking cold. I have plenty of stuff packed that I’m sure will be fine.” Javi smirked, now laughing at you, wrestling with the zipper you had barely managed to close from your overflowing outfit choices. 

“Javi. It’s Chicago. In December. It’s fucking cold. But who am I to say anything? I’ve only spent every winter in Chicago since birth, so what would I know?” You groaned, overdramatically rolling your eyes at Javi, who you had spent the past few days trying to prepare for the bitter cold and snow that he was drastically unaware of. “Will you please put like, a few more sweatshirts in there? I promise I’m not trying to be overbearing, I just know you have literally spent your entire life in the sun and if you thought 50 degrees was cold in October, you’re about to be in for a rude awakening, mister.” You snickered, plopping yourself down on the bed next to Javi’s suitcase he found himself hovering over before looking at you, shaking his head. 

“Fine, I will put a few more in there.” He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss on your head before heading back over to his drawer to throw a few more sweatshirts and long sleeved shirts in with the rest of his clothes. “I am actually really excited for the snow.” Javi smirked, a boyish grin growing across his face. 

“God, it’s so weird to me that you’ve never seen snow before. It’ll get old fast, believe me. Especially when you have to spend all morning shoveling it out of the driveway before you can go anywhere, or when I kick your ass in a snowball fight.” You reached over, giving him a playful punch before squealing as Javi lunged on top of you, making you bounce on the bed as he peppered ticklish kisses across your neck and chest, leaving you giggling and swatting beneath him. 

“Yeah, really? You’re gonna kick my ass? How the fuck do you kick someone’s ass at a snowball fight, hmmm?” He questioned between pecks of his lips against your skin before finally pulling away, letting you catch your breath from your laughter. 

“You’ll find out once you have a big ole snowball in your face, won’t you?” Leaning back against the headboard of the bed, you crossed your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at Javi, giving him a little shrug. “Don’t think I’m taking it easy on you because you have no snowball making experience. This will be an all out war, Peña.” 

“I don’t think I’d ever expect anything less from you, Osita.” 

Javi was just as thankful as you that this trip to Chicago seemed to be less nerve wracking than your first one a few months ago- for the sake of your own sanity and the bones in his hand, considering your only slightly eased death grip around it on the 3 hour flight leaving Laredo. The O’Hare International Airport was buzzing with the hustle and bustle of holiday travelers, people dashing through the terminals, crowding at gates, and fighting for taxis. You couldn’t believe how busy it still was after Christmas had passed, considering the fight it had been to try and hail a cab to get to your parents house. 

The drive to your childhood home from the airport had felt starkly different than the one you and Javi had taken in October, a sense of comfort and relief washing over you in having ripped off the band aid that was your first trip back home since Patrick’s death, which was approaching almost exactly a year ago. To be honest, there was a part of you that was expecting this trip to somehow be more painful- having to face your first Christmas without your brother- your last one being only days before he had passed away, getting dumped by your ex, and running half way across the country to try and forget anything and everything you could about the life that had crumbled at the seams beneath you. But as you ran your thumb gently over your ring finger, pressing against the delicate gold band that had made its home there since Thanksgiving, staring at your future husband, excitedly looking out the window at the thick flakes of snow falling from the sky, you couldn’t help but smile at just how lucky you were. You also couldn’t help but think how happy your brother would have been for you, too- to know his death hadn’t meant that your life had ended either. Truth be told, it was only just beginning. 

“What do you think?” You asked, biting down on your lip as you gave Javi’s hand a little squeeze, taking in the cuteness that was watching him watch the snowflakes gently drift through the winter breeze before landing in the already massive piles lining the streets below. His eyes lit up with a childlike glow, trying his best to contain his giddiness as he looked out the window before looking back over at you. 

“It’s… Fuck, it’s beautiful.” Even though you knew he was talking about the soft, white flakes falling behind you, the way his eyes never left yours as the words fell from his lips made your cheeks warm in a way that would have melted any snowflakes that would have landed there. “I’m so glad that our kids will be able to grow up knowing what it’s like to have snow.” 

“It is a lot prettier when you know you only have to be in it for a week, and not multiple months.” You laughed as you shook your head, admiring the snow covered suburbia outside your window. It made your smile just a little bit wider as you watched kids playing outside in their front yards, rolling giant snowballs for snowmen or, digging holes in the snow plowed piles along their driveways to make forts, knowing that one day, your children would get to do the same with you and Javi. “Yeah, it is nice that they’ll get to have both. Unless they inherit your warm weather genes, and complain every time it’s colder than 70 degrees out. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to teach them well so we can gang up on you for all the snowball fights.” Javi looked over at you, smirking to himself as he reached across the backseat to grab your hand, intertwining it with yours. 

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” 

The rest of your drive was spent quietly, hand in hand, as you admired the snowfall from your windows, gently music playing softly from the car radio as Javi’s thumb rubbed against the soft skin of your knuckles, taking an extra few moments to touch the beautiful ring forever wrapped around your finger, excited for the winters ahead he got to spend with you.  

“Listen… I’m not trying to say I told you so but-” 

“Yeah, it’s fucking cold, okay? You win, Osita.” You tried your best to keep from bursting out into laughter as you could see Javi visibly shivering, pulling out your suitcases out of the back of the cab, trying his best not to drop them in the slush covered streets of your neighborhood. The beautiful facade of the winter wonderland Javi had been admiring through the window of the taxi quickly faded as he stepped outside to face the reality of a true Chicago December. Grabbing your own bag, you hoisted it up over the pile of snow on either side of the walkway up to your house, making sure to take an extra big step over the mound at the edge of the curb you had learned over the years that your dad was too lazy to shovel to avoid ending up with a shoe full of snow.

 “Oh fuck me…” Javi sighed, now ankle deep in the pile you had forgotten to warm him about, frantically shaking his foot to try and get the snow off his foot. 

“Like I said, I’m not trying to say I told you so…” You grimaced, looking down at Javi’s snow soaked foot before looking back up at him, giving him a sarcastically sympathetic shrug. 

“Pendejo. Can we please go inside before we fucking freeze out here?” 

“But I thought it was so beautiful? Have you changed your mind, you warm weathered, sun spoiled baby?” You teasted, giggling to yourself at the annoyed look on Javi’s face before turning back around to head towards the house. 

Almost to the door, you practically froze in your tracks, your jaw hanging open in shock as a cold, hard thump hit the back of your jacket, whipping your head back around the see Javi pulling his hands out of the snow, wiping them on his jeans before glancing down to see the little white blob that had slid down your back, landing by your feet. “Did you just throw a fucking snowball at me?!” You yelled, a devilish smirk spreading ear to ear across Javi’s face as you stared at him in disbelief. 

“It was just so beautiful, I couldn’t help it.” He mocked, raising an eyebrow at you before finishing the rest of the journey up the pathway to your door, giving you a playful nudge as he passed you. 

“You’re the worst, I hope you know that.” 

“You’re the one who said yes.” He smirked, gesturing down at the ring on your finger before placing a quick kiss on your rosy cheek, opening up the front door. 

“Hey you guys we’re-” 

“Oh thank God you’re here.” Charlie sighed, frantically shoving an oversized diaper bag in your arms as he ran down the stairs next to the entryway of your parents house. 

“Good to see you too, Charlie? Thanks for the diaper bag? Where’s everyone else?” You questioned, a puzzled look growing across your face, as Charlie rapidly ran back up the stairs, only hearing his voice shout down the hallway. 

“Natalie! They’re here!” You looked up at Javi, the two of you stumped as to what was happening before Charlie was speeding back down the steps, the sound of little feet following behind him. 

“Auntie Bear, Auntie Bear, Auntie Bear!” Olivia squealed, her tiny feet pattering down the hallway, outstretching her arms to be picked up for a hug. Quickly setting down the diaper bag you had been handed to avoid getting run over by your niece, your arms mirrored hers, scooping her up, giving her a big hug. 

“Hi, cutie pie!” You grinned, giving her a big kiss on the cheek before setting her back down, Olivia then swiftly making her way over to Javi. 

“Hi Uncle Javi!” She beamed, wrapping her little arms around his waist, hugging his hip. 

“Hey, Olivia!” Javi smiled widely at his new title, rubbing his hand against her head, ruffling her hair. 

“Hi Awnt Bawwwww!!.” A little voice screeched, Brianna waving her tiny hand at you as she tumbled down the stairwell, following her sister. 

“Hi Lil Miss! C’mere, sweetie!” You giggled, picking up your other niece and hosting her on your hip, planting little kisses across her face, making her squeal, before gently placing her back on the ground. You were so focused on your adorable niece’s hugs and greetings, that you hadn’t been paying attention to Charlie scurrying through the living room, cleaning and gathering items that had been scattered around your parents house by his daughters. Swiftly making her way down the stairs with the newest addition to your family, your new nephew Lucas, Charlie’s wife Natalie was already handing him off to you as she fixed the earring she was trying to place before helping Charlie in the living room.  

“You wanna tell us what’s going on?” You questioned, laughing at your brother and his wife frantically running around the house as you carefully held up Lucas, melting at his sweet, rosy cheeks and messy blonde tufts of hair, finally getting to see him in person for the first time. “Oh my God, aren’t you the sweetest thing? Hi, little Lucas! What are your crazy mom and dad up to, huh? What’s happening that’s got them running around like psychopaths?” You giggled, talking to him in a high pitched voice as he babbled, resting his tiny head against your chest. 

“Can you guys babysit?!” Charlie paused, shoving a few more items into Lucas’s diaper bag sitting by your feet, a pathetic and guilty look growing across his face. 

“Wait, babysit? Where are you two going? Aren’t mom and dad-” 

“Well David was supposed to, but he got called into work today because they were short staffed. Natalie’s work Christmas party is tonight. Our idiot brother told Mom and Dad that you guys weren’t coming until tomorrow, so they planned dinner with the Kolawski’s tonight, and our babysitter is out of town for the holidays so we don’t have anyone to watch the kids.” Charlie grunted as he shoved the last of his shoe on his foot, standing up and looking at you with pleading eyes. “Mom and Dad were watching while we were at work and when we found out you guys were actually coming in today, we stayed hoping that you could watch them, too. Please Cubby?” 

“Well, I think your first mistake was trusting David to relay any accurate information at any point in time.” You rolled your eyes, readjusting Lucas, cradling the back of his head. 

“If you could, it would mean so much. I’ve been looking forward to finally going back to see everyone at work for this party. I know it’s so last minute. I’m so sorry you guys, if you can’t it’s okay, we don’t have to go.” Natalie smiled sympathetically, leaning down to give Olivia a quick kiss on the head as she wrapped her arms around her mom’s leg. 

“Please Auntie Bear? Please, please, please, please?” Olivia begged, looking up at you with big puppy dog eyes. 

“I don’t see why we can’t? Is that okay with you, Jav?” You shrugged at Charlie before looking over at Javi, eyes wide as he stared at you bouncing Lucas in your arms, your words seeming to go in one ear and out the other watching you hold your nephew. 

“Hmmm? Oh yeah. Yeah! Yeah, of course we can babysit.” Javi visibly shook his head to snap himself out of whatever daydream he was having as he looked at you, bringing himself back to reality. 

“Yay! Auntie Bear and Uncle Javi are gonna babysit!” Olivia squealed, squeezing Brianna in excitement, the two of them giggling and bouncing up and down before running off into the living room, heading back to whatever toys they were playing with before your arrival.

“Oh my God, thank you so much, Cubby. We owe you big time.” Charlie reached over, giving you a quick side hug before reaching for his and Natalie’s coats behind you, hanging by the front door. 

“It’s not a big deal at all, Charlie, we’re more than happy to. Anything special we need to know with this lil cutie? The other two I’ve got down pat.” You leaned over, kissing Lucas’s soft, feathery hair as you held him. 

“Keep him alive? I don’t know, Cubby, he’s a baby, it’s not that hard. Feed him and put him to bed when he falls asleep.” Charlie raised an eyebrow at you, shrugging as he put his coat on. 

“You’re not the one that question was directed towards, idiot.” You rolled your eyes, looking over at Natalie, laughing to herself as she shimmied her coat over her arms. 

“I just fed him an hour ago, so you can feed him at 8, diaper bag has everything he needs in there, his pack-n-play is set up in the spare room, and if he’s fussy, put him in the baby rocker and he’ll fall right asleep. You can call Charlie’s cell if you need anything, and I’ll answer.” 

“Thank you for that helpful information, Natalie. Crazy that I’d wanna know those kinds of things before having a 3 month old baby dropped in my care.” You jabbed at Charlie, oblivious to your remark as he was already opening the front door. 

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Thank you Cubby, we’ll be back at like, 10? Okay, bye you guys, be good for Auntie Bear and Javi, love you!” Charlie half shouted as he booked it out the door, Natalie following behind him. 

“Thank you guys, so much. I’d apologize for Charlie being the way that he is, but…you already know. Bye girls! I love you both, Daddy and I will see you later, okay? Have lots of fun!” Natalie gave you a quick hug before waving goodbye, following Charlie out the door, leaving Olivia, Brianna, Lucas, in your care for an unexpected night in on babysitting duty. 

“Is this okay? I’m really sorry, I know we just got here, I wasn’t gonna say no, but I-” 

“Hermosa. Of course it’s okay.” Javi smiled, cutting you off as he placed his hand on the small of your back, his thumb tracing soft circles along your jacket you still had yet to take off from your arrival.

“Okay. You sure? You were giving me a weird look when I asked you at first.” You questioned, raising an eyebrow at him before pressing a soft kiss onto Lucas’s head as he cooed. Javi looked back at you, letting out a sigh, biting down on his lip and he leaned down to give you what you thought was going to be a kiss on your cheek, before he stopped at your ear. 

“Maybe it’s because watching you hold that baby is making me wanna put one in you right now.” His words sent a shiver down your spine, his breath hot and heavy against your neck as he pulled away, giving you a quick wink while your eyes just about popped out of your head from his unwarranted comment. 

“Jesus Christ, Javier Jesús Peña. You cannot just be saying things like that to me, or I’m gonna throw my fucking birth control out the window and spontaneously combust.” You sighed, jabbing his side as the two of you laughed to yourselves. 

“Auntie Bearrrrrrrr! Me and Bri Bri are hungry! We want dino nuggies, pleaseeeee!” Olivia shouted from across the room, waving one of her many stuffed animals at you to get your attention.

“Okay, cuties! Let’s go in the kitchen and we can make some dinner, alright?” You called back, thankful for your niece’s impeccable timing before you melted into a puddle from Javi’s suggestion. “You’re a menace, you know that right? This is about to be the most challenging night of babysitting ever because of you. You haven’t even held Lucas yet, and just the thought of it is making me want to do unspeakable things to you.” You sighed, making your way towards the kitchen, trying your best to not even look at Javi before you completely fell apart. 

“Is that a threat, or a promise?” Javi smirked as he followed behind you, making you whip your head around, giving him a stern look for the sake of your sanity. 

“A menace, I swear.” 

Olivia and Brianna had somehow charmed you and Javi into convincing the both of you that they needed not only dinosaur chicken nuggets, but also mac and cheese, compromising with carrots as the required vegetable to go with their meal if they wanted the hot chocolate they had also requested for after dinner. 

“Uncle Javi, will you play reindeer with us while Auntie Bear finishes cooking?” Olivia asked, dangling her legs off the counter where Javi had put her after her request to help with placing the chicken nuggets on the baking sheet before they went in the oven. You smirked at Javi, holding Brianna on your hip as she fumbled with a noodle you had given her to play with while you stirred the mac and cheese. 

“Reindeer?” He asked, leaning against the counter next to Olivia, hand on his hip as he began to intently listen to her explanation. 

“Before Mommy and Daddy left, Bri Bri and I were reindeer and Daddy was Santa and he had to chase us back to help get ready for next Christmas!” Olivia stated, matter of factly, as if everyone should have already been aware of how to play. 

“Yeah, you dotta wun weeeellyyy fast!” Brianna chimed in, finally plopping the stray noodle into her mouth, chewing loudly in your ear. 

“What, are you saying I’m not fast enough, Missy?” You smiled at Olivia, making her giggle as you set Brianna down before giving her sides a tickle and picking her up off of the counter and placing her on the ground next to her sister. 

“No, it’s because Uncle Javi has to be Santa and you have to be Mrs. Claus so you can watch the baby elf.” She told you, pointing over at Lucas, sound asleep in his rocker, a mischievous grin on her face. “So Uncle Javi has to chase us or else we won’t be playing it right. Please Uncle Javi, will you play reindeer with us? Pleaseeeee?” Olivia pleaded, looking up at Javi, pouting her bottom lip, quickly joined by Brianna, stomping her feet in excitement. 

“Do we have enough time to play reindeer?” Javi grinned, raising an eyebrow at you as you stirred the pot simmering on the stove, looking over at your timer. 

“You guys have 6 minutes before dinner is done, got it?” You smiled at the girls as they began to squeal in delight. “But… Reindeer are extra fast if they eat carrots, so one carrot for each of you before you play okay?” You grabbed two carrot sticks from the bag on the counter, holding them out to the girls who gladly agreed at their newly promised speed. 

“Okay!” They chomped, Olivia stopping mid-bite, pointing towards Javi. “Doesn’t Uncle Javi have to eat a carrot, too?” She questioned, now debating the fairness of your carrot trick. 

“I thought Santa just got to eat cookies…” Javi grumbled, trying to get out of paying your carrot toll. 

“Oh, that is a good point, Olivia! Santa should have to eat some carrots, it’d be good for him.” You snickered, holding out a carrot stick for Javi, grimacing as he crossed his arms over his chest, refusing to take it from you, knowing that you were well aware of his disdain for this particular vegetable. 

“Last time I checked, Santa doesn’t like carrots.” 

“Last time I checked, Santa was a good role model for his reindeer who ate his carrots and didn’t complain about it.” You shoved the carrot in Javi’s face, laughing to yourself as he rolled his eyes, painfully taking it out of your hand, looking at it with regret before taking a bite. Javi tried his best to hide the disgusted look on his face as he chewed, letting out a gulp as he swallowed, trying to play off how much he had hated every second of what he had just done. 

“Wow, SO good.” Javi glared at you as the two girls took off running out of the kitchen, screaming and screeching for Javi to come catch them while you looked back at him with a smug smile, shrugging playfully. “You make me eat another carrot and I’m on the next flight home to Texas.” 

“UNCLE JAVI YOU HAVE TO COME CATCH US NOW!” Olivia yelled from the next room over, you and Javi peeking out from the kitchen to see her and Brianna doing laps around the living room. 

“You are such a baby. A 3 and 6 year old complained less than you did. Now go, you have some very fast reindeer to catch, Santa. Don’t make me give you another carrot.” You giggled as you pressed up on to your tiptoes, cupping Javi’s cheek as you gave him a quick kiss, Javi wrapping his hand around the back of your head to hold you there a moment longer, his voice low and hushed as his lips barely parted from yours. 

“Careful what you ask for, baby. Can’t give you my North Pole later if I’m all the way back in Laredo cause you made me eat another fucking carrot.” With a wink and another quick peck on your cheek, Javi pulled away, making his way towards the girls in the living room as you gave him the most over dramatic roll of your eyes you could conjure. 

“JAVIER PEÑA. You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met, I swear to God.” 

You had most definitely let more than your promised 6 minutes go by as you stood in the entrance to the living room, watching Javi chase Olivia and Brianna in circles around the couch, the 3 of them laughing and smiling as he would purposely let them pass him, only to grab them both a few moments later, tossing them onto the cushions before the girls crawled over the sides of the sofa to escape again.

 It was a good thing you hadn’t watched him hold Lucas yet, because the sight of him playing with your nieces alone was enough to have you weak in the knees, thinking about how goddamn sweet he was with them, and much sweeter it would be once it was your own kids, not just Olivia and Brianna. 

You were so in love with this man, it physically hurt. 

The four of you chatted away at dinner, listening to Olivia talk about her class party at school, what gifts they had gotten for Christmas, and what toys they were most excited to show you from Santa. Your reindeer trick had worked wonders to get them to eat the rest of their carrots, along with their nuggets and macaroni, the girls both very adamantly reminding you that they could get their hot chocolate now that they had finished all of their dinner. 

You and Javi had agreed there had been plenty of reindeer chasing for the night, and with it starting to get late, that you all could pick a movie to watch while drinking your coco as the last activity before getting the girls to bed. You helped Olivia and Brianna get changed into their pajamas and put Lucas down for bed while Javi finished cleaning up the rest of dinner and starting the hot chocolate. 

As the girls paraded back out into the living room in their matching snowman pajamas, they shrieked in delight to see that Javi had somehow managed to find every spare pillow and blanket in your parent’s house, making a giant, cozy nest in front of the couch, complete with the glow of your parent’s Christmas tree in the background, and mugs of hot chocolate resting on the TV stand waiting for them. A few minutes later after putting Lucas down to bed, you followed behind, hearing their giggles and squeals as they nestled into the comfy pile on the ground, Javi sitting on the sofa waiting for you. 

“Auntie Bear, look! Uncle Javi made us a blanket pile! And he put extra whipped cream in our hot chocolate!” Olivia beamed, whipped cream smeared across her face as he smiled at you. 

“Da hot chocwate is weelllyyy yummy!” Brianna joined in, her whipped cream mustache almost as thick as Javi’s real one. 

“If they’re up at midnight, I’m telling Charlie and Natalie it was your fault.” You whispered to Javi as you sat down next to him, Javi automatically wrapping his arm around your shoulder as you curled up in the broadness of his grasp. 

“You’re the one who promised them hot chocolate, Osita.” He whispered back, giving you a little nudge and a wink. 

“Not hot chocolate and half a can of whipped cream on top.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, laughing to yourself as you watched the girls chug the rest of their drinks, passing Javi the remote to the TV. “The girls voted for Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer.  I told them I met some really cool reindeer earlier, but they kept trying to run away from Santa. I wonder if they’re in this movie too.“ 

“Oh my goodness, Olivia and Brianna are my favorite reindeer that pull Santa’s sleigh, you saw them earlier? I’m so sad I missed them!” You and Javi smiled as Olivia and Brianna broke out in hysterical giggles. 

“No Uncle Javi and Auntie Bear, that was us! We’re not really reindeer, Uncle Javi was just being silly.” Olivia laughed, her cheeks turning pink and rosy from her grin. 

“He is very silly, isn’t he? You ready for the movie, my favorite little reindeers?” 

It wasn’t long before the giggles and sing-alongs of Rudoplh had quickly turned to soft, sleepy snores from Olivia and Brianna, curled up in their blankets and snuggled up with their stuffed animals long before the film had finished. 

“I think you wore these reindeer out, Jav.” You smiled, looking down at the girls sound asleep, tucked away in the piles of pillows around them. 

“I think those reindeer wore me out. Jesus, I gotta stretch before I do that next time or I’m gonna throw out my back.” The two of you quietly laughed to yourselves, Javi resting his hand on your thigh, squeezing it gently. The two of you turned your heads as you heard a muffled cry coming from the baby monitor you had set on the end table near the couch, realizing that Lucas was awake, and needed something. 

“You wanna come with me to check on him?” You grunted, pushing yourself to stand from the couch, carefully stepping over your nieces, tucked away in the sea of pillows and blankets at your feet. 

“You sure they’re okay out here by themselves?” Javi gestured over to the girls, both sound asleep. 

“Jav, I’m pretty sure a tornado could blow through this house right now and they’d sleep through it. C’mon.” 

Sneaking quietly down the hallway into the guest room, you gently pushed open the door to the sounds of a wailing Lucas, writhing in his pack-n-play, tiny fists shaking in the air. “Oh c’mere, handsome.” You cooed, reaching down to pick up Lucas, hugging him against your chest as you bounced him up and down. “What’s the matter, bub?” You continued rocking, giving him a little kiss on the head as you held him. “Well, it’s not his diaper, and I just changed it after the girls put on their pajamas.” You shrugged, talking to yourself, tilting your head down to sniff near his tiny bottom, free of any suspicious scents. “I fed him then too. The little guy was out cold after that. What’s goin’ on, sweetie? Maybe you need to be burped again, ya little gassy monster. Here, Jav, can you hold him while I go get the burp cloths from the diaper bag?” 

The way you had picked Lucas up, you had your back to Javi, talking to your little nephew without even looking over at your fiancé. You figured he probably just hadn’t heard you, and had mistaken your question for him with the babbling you had been doing with Lucas. “Jav?” You asked again, this time turning around to face him, greeted by the awestruck look on Javi’s face, eyes wide and jaw slack as he stared you up and down. 

“Hmmmm?” He asked, shaking his head, letting out a loud gulp as the Adam's apple of his throat bobbed in his neck. 

“Can you hold Lucas while I go get something from his diaper bag?” You smirked, raising an  eyebrow at him, dying to know the thoughts swirling in his brain that had his face looking as dumbfounded as it did right now. 

“I uh, yeah- um, yeah, I can.” Javi responded, now looking flustered and nervous as you outstretched Lucas towards him. “Do you trust me to hold him?” He asked, reaching his hands out to take Lucas from you, his question quiet and sheepish. You cocked your head in confusion as you stared back at him. 

“Baby, of course I do? Do you not wanna hold him? You don’t have to if-” 

“No, I do, I just- He’s- I don’t wanna hurt him or anything- I don’t- I don’t think I’ve ever held a baby this small.” 

Javier Peña was a man who had faced many dangerous things in life- the cartel, violence, drugs, literal life or death decisions- Things that would make the average person tremble in fear, that Javi had learned to deal without a second thought. Yet, the prospect of holding a tiny, 3 month old baby in front of his future wife had Javi more nervous than he could remember being in the past decade. 8 months ago, he had no plans of ever finding someone, let alone plans to get married, or to have children of his own. Now, he wanted nothing more to give you a family- fuck, he’d give you all the kids you want, but that meant the reality of this future prospect was finally starting to sink in with Javi. 

He was terrified to be a dad. 

Not because he didn’t love you. Not because he didn’t want to be (because fuck, did he want to be), but because the idea that the tired, worn, and damaged man he’d written himself off to be was supposed to raise, protect, and nurture the tiny, little person the two of you would someday bring into the world scared the shit out of him. And all it took was you outstretching your crying newborn nephew in front of him for that earth shattering reality to sink in. 

“Javi…” You sighed, almost laughing to yourself with how worried your sweet fiancé was about being so careful with Lucas. “Baby, it’s okay. Here, why don’t you go sit down on the chair that’s over there and I’ll hand him over to you. We can take standing out of the equation if it makes you feel better.” Javi nodded, quickly sitting himself down on the oversized, cushioned chair in the corner of the guest bedroom. Bouncing Lucas a few more times to try and ease some of his tears before handing him over to Javi, you passed him off to his outstretched arms, carefully cradling him along his chest and shoulder. “You got ‘em?” You smiled, watching Javi’s eyes light up as he held Lucas, his tension visibly starting to ease once he was in his grasp. “I’ll be right back, okay?” 

You had no choice but to hightail it out of the guest room without looking at Javi for too long, knowing you would very much need to brace yourself for the image of Javi holding a baby before returning, considering you were going to absolutely crumble like a piece of paper the moment you really got a good look at him. 

As soon as Lucas was settled in Javi’s arms, his crying immediately began to ease, Javi gently rocking him in hopes that it would help to settle him down more. “Shhhhhh, hey, it’s okay, big guy.” Javi whispered, grinning to himself as he gazed down at Lucas’s bright eyes and rosy cheeks. “Fuck, you are cute. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t swear in front of you. Well, I don’t know, you’re a baby, you can’t understand anything I’m saying, can you?” Chuckling to himself, Javi leaned further back into the chair, pressing Lucas’s weight against his chest, resting the width of his large palm over his tiny head and back. “You think your Aunt’s gonna let me give her one of you soon? I sure hope so.” 

Turning the corner down the hallway back into the guest bedroom, you were 100% correct in realizing that there was no amount of mental preparation you could have done to brace yourself for the sight that was your future husband, snuggling and smiling with your nephew, who on top of everything else, had also gotten him to somehow stop crying. 

Jesus Christ, you were so fucked and needed him to give you 14 children today.  

“Wow, I leave for 30 seconds and you get him to stop crying?” You smirked, biting down on your lip as Javi looked over at you leaning in the doorway, holding your stack of brightly colored cloths from Lucas’s bag. “I didn’t know you were a baby whisperer, too.” 

“I didn’t think I did anything, I just held him and he stopped. He’s been fine since you left.” Javi shrugged, gently combing his fingers through the wild, sleepy ends of Lucas’s hair. 

“Alright, message received loud and clear, Baby Lucas, you like Uncle Javi better than me. A little rude, but alright.” You giggled, making your way next to Javi, standing beside him as you leaned down to press a kiss onto Lucas’s forehead before doing the same to Javi. “Well, I guess whatever was wrong, he’s fine now. He must have just needed you to hold him. Which, I really can’t complain about.” 

You should have felt at least a little guilty for subjecting your infant nephew to the now palpable tension flooding the guest room, completely lost in your own world as you soaked in every ounce of watching Javi cradle Lucas in his broad grasp, using all your self restraint to keep from pouncing on him. You were so lost in your fantasy, that you hadn’t even heard Charlie and Natalie make their way back through the front door, down the hallway and into the guest room. 

“You babysat and knocked both the gremlins on their asses out cold? Man, I really do owe you two.” Charlie’s voice startled you, making you gasp as you whipped your head around to see him standing in the doorway. “She’s got you on baby duty too, Jav? Goddamn, I owe you a beer, man. Honestly something stronger than that. Here, I’ll take him.” Charlie laughed, reaching out to grab his son as Javi slowly stood, carefully holding Lucas as he rose out of his seat, passing him off to your brother. “Thanks, man. You lookin’ to throw down tomorrow? David’s got the day off, and since dad’s retired, he has put every ounce of time and effort into the ice rink since the weather has gotten below freezing. I think he’s hoping the NHL will come and scout him for his backyard rink building skills.”

“Uh, yeah- yeah, for sure. We’re up for whatever.” You replied, still distracted by the sight of Javi, not even holding your nephew anymore, but the image still fresh and burning in your brain. “Hey, uh, did Mom and Dad say when they were gonna be home?” Watching Charlie collect Lucas’s things from the guest room in his free arm, you shot Javi a desperate look, filled with need and want, biting down on your lip to see his gaze match yours. 

Unaware of yours and Javi’s silent exchange, Charlie picked up Lucas’s bag, shuffling it on his shoulder as he responded. “Uh shit, I don’t know. I mean, they’re going out with Gary and Marcella, which means at this point, that Gary’s got dad 6 Irish Car Bombs deep and Mom and Marcella are probably asleep on the bar, my guess is not for a while.” He chuckled, giving you a suspicious look as you nodded in agreement, Charlie looking back and forth between you and Javi, now picking up on the undeniable tension. “Just don’t fuck in my old room, okay?” 

“Fuck off, Charlie. Your room still probably reeks of all your old hockey gear you refused to wash anyways.” You sighed, grimacing at him, trying to keep your face from turning any brighter red than it already was. 

“Night lovebirds. Thanks again for watching the gremlins. See you tomorrow?” He smirked, winking at you and Javi before slipping out the door, leaving you two standing alone in the guest room. 

“Good night, you guys! Thank you again!” Natalie shouted from down the hallway, you and Javi still standing frozen in place as you heard the front door open and close, locking behind your family traveling out of it. 

From the moment you knew the door was closed, you practically pounced on Javi, grabbing fistfulls of his shirt as your mouth met his with an electric intensity. Your lips crashed together as Javi ran his hands down your body, grabbing you under your thighs as your legs wrapped around the small of his back, hands tugging at the dark curls of his hair. “I need you so bad.” You moaned, your words barely escaping your lips above a whisper. 

“You sure your parents are gonna be home soon?” Javi groaned, making his way out of the guest room before carrying you down the hallway, your kisses still rushed and frantic as he made his way up the stairs towards your room. 

“What are we, 15? Charlie’s right, they’re both drunk off their asses so they won’t be back for hours, and even if they weren’t, I wouldn’t care. Fuck, watching you hold that baby did things to me.” Using his back to push open your bedroom door, Javi threw you down onto your bed, already shedding his shirt as you bounced on the mattress, a hungry look in his eyes as he reached down to practically rip your clothes off your body, tossing them in a heap on the floor. 

  “Yeah?” He smirked, hovering over you, trapping your body under his as he planted his hands into the mattress on either side of your head. He dipped his head down, slowly kissing his way up your body, his lips hot and heavy on your skin as they traveled up your stomach towards your breasts, swirling each pebbled nipple with his tongue, releasing with a wet pop, taking his sweet time as he worked his way up the exposed skin of your collarbone. “You like that? The thought of me putting a baby in you? Making me a dad?” You could feel his devilish grin pressed against your neck between his nips at your pulse point, basking in the power he knew his words had to make you lose your mind before even laying a finger on you. 

“Holy fuck…” You whimpered, already writhing beneath him, the ache building between your legs desperate to be filled even before Javi had begun whispering sweet nothings against your skin. “Javi, please, Jesus Christ.” You could feel yourself growing impatient as he toyed with you, working you up to the point of becoming unbearably needy before his hands had even met your body, getting you exactly where he wanted you. 

“Please what, Osita? Don’t think I heard you answer my question yet.” Javi mewled, a smug grin spreading across his face as he began to trail his kisses back down your body, finally bringing his hands to knead at the soft flesh of your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers, making you gasp, now only finding it harder to find the words for a coherent sentence. 

“Yes. Fuck. Fuck, I want you to put a baby in me so bad. Jesus, I’ll have as many of your babies as you want.” You paused, lifting your head up to watch Javi, sinking down to his knees at the end of the bed, nudging your legs open as he draped them over his shoulders, now satisfied with your answer. He looked up at you, noticing the equally big smirk on your face as you bit down on your lip. “You really want me to make you a daddy, huh?” 

Two could play at this game. 

As much as you joked about it, that one sent the blood flow straight to his cock, now painfully straining against the denim of his jeans, making him have to bite his tongue to keep from audibly groaning. “Fuckk meee.” He whispered, shaking his head before locking his arms over your legs, scooting you closer to him, now coming face to face with the worked up and dripping mess you had already become. “Seems like the answer to that question is already between your legs, baby. Pretty fucking pussy’s soaked and I haven’t even touched you yet.” 

“Javi, Jesus Christ, pleaseeeee.” You moaned, nearly bucking your hips at him in your desperate state. 

“Please, who?” Javi smirked, darting his eyes up at you, making you tremble as you felt the strong arch of his nose bump against your clit. 

“Seriously?” You huffed, rolling your eyes at Javi 1- for making you wait any damn longer, and 2- knowing the answer to his question, even if you only used it jokingly with him. Javi raised an eyebrow at you, letting out a little shrug that lifted your legs draped over his shoulders, waiting for your response. 

“Please, daddy.” 

“There ya go, baby.” 

“Asshole.” 

“Wasn’t planning on venturing there today, but can if you want me to.” 

“Jesus Christ… Javi, for the love of God, please, just fuck me. I am dying up here.” You sighed, laughing to yourself to ward off the impatient mess Javi had turned you into with his antics. 

“Wow, someone’s needy, hmmm? You want me to fuck you, sweet girl? Sure you don’t need me to-” 

“I need you so bad, Javi.” Sitting up on your elbows, you reached in front of you, trying to bend over the edge of the bed to prompt him to stand up so you could tug at the waistband of his jeans and unbutton his pants. Following your request, Javi rose up, now almost as frantic as you as he began to push his pants and his boxers down his legs, letting them pool around his ankles before stepping out of them, cupping his his hands around your cheeks, pressing his mouth against yours as his tongue swiped along your bottom lip. Just like that, his cool and collected facade had faded, leaving him just as worked up and wanting as you, his hands roaming every inch of your body before gently pushing you down to lay with your back on the mattress, prompting you to bring your knees to your chest as he stood at the edge of the bed. Reaching down to stroke himself, Javi lined his cock up with your dripping heat, collecting your arousal as his tip slid through your folds before pressing into you, the sweet stretch making you whimper. With how worked up you’d been, Javi slid in easily, flushing his hips against yours, his tip brushing along your cervix, pausing for a moment, buried deep inside of you. 

Before you could say anything, he pulled back out, setting a pounding pace as he thrusted in and out of you, his fingertips gripping at the meat of your thighs as they pressed against your chest. The fullness of his cock ramming into had you whining, your jaw going slack as stared up at Javi’s broad body hovering over you, the muscles of his arms flexing as he leaned further into you, snaking one of his hands between your legs to circle at your clit. “This what you wanted, Hermosa? Fuck you like the good girl you are? Fuck you like I’m gonna fuck a baby into you?” 

You nodded frantically, your mind going blank with each push and pull of his length sliding from your heat and rub of his fingers against your throbbing bundle of nerves, relishing in the sweet sound of Javi’s thighs slapping against yours, over and over. “Yes- fuck- oh my god, yes. Fuck, you feel so good, Javi. I want more. Baby, please, fuck me harder.” 

Your request had Javi’s eyes going wide, letting out a low groan through gritted teeth, his pace still relentless as he gazed down at you, watching you nod your head in silent reassurance. “Fuck. Turn around, Osita.” He hissed as he pulled out, watching you flip over as your chest laid on the mattress and stuck your ass out, Javi instinctively gripping his fingers into the soft flesh of your hips as he guided himself back into your cunt, the both of you moaning as he filled you with the delicious sting of his cock. He began snapping his hips against your ass, feeling you press yourself back deeper onto him with each thrust, knowing he was buried well within the spot that would have you teetering on the brink of coming undone. The lewd noises between your bodies fill the room- your hungry moans, the slapping of your skin, the wetness of your throbbing cunt as Javi pounded into you repeatedly, the filthy words falling from his mouth as he dug his fingers deeper into your hips.

“Fuck Javi, oh my god. Fuck, don’t stop. Don’t stop baby. Fuckkkk.” You whimpered, feeling the delicious tingle beginning to build at the base of your spine and your pussy starting to flutter. Javi wasn’t sure what it was- maybe it was the fact that you had practically begging him to fuck you, then give you more. Maybe it was watching you all fucked out and moaning beneath him. Maybe, it was the fact that watching you hold that baby made him want to give you your own. Whatever it was, something feral, almost primal ignited in him, reaching his arm underneath you to pull you up, pressing your back against his chest, wrapping his hands around your body, like he needed you as close as he could have you. One hand grasped at your breast, squeezing the plush skin between his fingers while the other draped across your waist, the heel of his palm rubbing against your throbbing clit as he feverishly fucked into you.  

 “I’m not gonna stop, Osita. Not gonna stop until you cum around my cock and I fuck myself so deep inside of you, I’m dripping out of you for days. Fuck myself so deep inside of you, maybe’ll fucking beat your birth control, huh? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” 

You could feel your body beginning to tremble as the coil in your belly snapped, your orgasm ripping through you with an intensity that made your back arch against Javi’s chest, and legs shake, screaming his name as your cunt clenched tighter and tighter around his cock as the pleasure washed over you. It was only a few more thrusts before Javi was chasing his own high, ramblings of incoherent Spanish and English falling from his lips as he spilled deep inside of you, milking himself of every last drop with one final pump, feeling the mixture of your spend dripping down your thighs as your chests rose and fell in sync, the two of you trying to catch your breath as you hunched over against the bed. 

“Holy fuck…” You whispered, quietly laughing to yourself, laying face down on the bed as Javi grabbed the box of tissues from your dresser, unfamiliar where anything else was to help clean the two of you up, gently wiping the mess between your legs before throwing the wad of kleenex into the trash can. You crawled under the covers, smirking at Javi and biting down on the tip of your thumb as he made his way back to you. 

“What’s that look for?” He asked, chuckling to himself, sneaking under the covers next to you, squeezing his way into the cramped space that was your full-sized childhood bed. You draped your arm across his waist, resting your head on the bare skin of his chest, tracing gentle circles on his side as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in tighter. 

“Holding that baby really did something to ya, huh?” You giggled, giving him a little playful shake in your grasp. 

“Did something to me? Says the one who was literally begging me to fuck her from the moment your brother picked up the kids and left.” Javi chuckled, gently stroking the messy ends of your hair through his fingers, nudging you back. 

“Okay, but can you blame me? Have you seen yourself hold a baby? Jesus Christ, Jav.” The both of you laughed, laying together for a moment before you felt Javi take a deep breath, your face rising and falling with the exhale of his chest. 

“Do you- Do you ever worry that I’m not gonna be a good dad?” Javi mumbled, his shaky voice barely above a whisper as he fidgeted with his fingers, his thumb carefully running over his knuckles. You paused for a second, almost wondering if you had misheard him, tilting your head up at him, shocked by the genuine concern pooling in his dark brown eyes. You pushed up on your elbows, resting your hand on his cheek to force his gaze onto yours. 

“Javi… Baby, are you serious?” You couldn’t help but almost laugh at the question, wondering how in the world Javi could be asking it with sincerity. He sat silent for a moment, his eyes darting away from yours, a small frown drawn between his lips. “Javi. Of course I think you’re gonna be a good dad. Why- Jav, why would you think that?” You brought your other hand to his face, drawing his attention back to you, trying to reassure him with your soft and sweet voice. 

Javi let out another sigh, anxiously chewing on his lip. “I just- I don’t know. I’ve done a lot of fucked up things. Things I’m not proud of. Holding that baby today made me realize how goddamn terrified I am that I’m gonna do something to fuck up. I’d do anything for you or our family, I just- fuck. What if it isn’t enough? What if I’m not good enough?” 

You could almost feel your heart shatter from the dismay of Javi’s words, immediately wrapping your arms around him and squeezing him as tightly as you could to comfort him, resting your head in the crook of his neck. “Javier Jesús Peña. Look at me.” You grabbed his face again, forcing him to let out a little laugh at your sarcastically stern tone. “Javi, there is no one else on the face of this earth I want to be the father of my children more than you. And not just because you’re gonna be the hottest dilf I’ve ever seen.” 

“Dilf?” Javi raised an eyebrow at you in confusion. 

“Dad I’d like to fuck. Jav, you are the sweetest, most thoughtful man I have ever met. You are so good with Olivia and Bri and Lucas, the Murphy girls, even my class of buffoons you were so patient and kind to. The fact that you even care enough to worry about these kinds of things tells me you’re gonna be the most amazing dad. I love you, Javi.” You smiled softly, pressing a tender kiss onto his lips, twisting your fingers through the dark curls at the nape of his neck. 

“I love you too, Osita. God, you’re gonna be the best mom. Our kids are gonna be so fucking lucky.” Javi grinned, gently brushing a strand of hair out of your face, the tension beginning to release from his body. 

“Oh believe me, I worry all the time that I’m not gonna be a good mom either. Knowing what a little menace I was as a kid, plus all the crazy little demons I’ve worked with throughout teaching… I’ve learned a lot of ways to not be a good parent, but I still always worry that I’m gonna end up raising a little Miguel who tries to hot glue his hands together or shove crayons up his nose and makes his teacher wanna cry everyday.” The two of you laughed, shaking your heads thinking of some of the many horror stories Javi had heard and you had witnessed over the years from children you were very glad were only your responsibility for one school year. 

“I hope our kids are like you.” 

“Really? You want our kids to be sarcastic, stubborn pains in our asses?” You teased, giving Javi a little nudge. “They better get your good looks if they’re gonna have my personality.” 

“Shut up, you dork.” He sighed, prodding you back, gently tickling your ribcage, making you giggle and squirm before wrapping his arms back around you, pulling you tightly against his chest. “Sometimes I still can’t fucking believe it.” 

“Believe what, ya goof?” 

“This. You. That I’m gonna fucking marry you. That you wanna give me a family and spend the rest of your life with me. That you fucking love me. I’d thought I’d given up on all this shit a long time ago. I’m really glad I didn’t have to.” 

“I’m really glad you didn’t have to either.” 

“Jesus Christ, could you not be so loud?!” Your dad whined, scrunching his brow in pain as he rubbed his temples with the worn callouses of his fingers as you and Javi made your way down the stairs, meandering into the kitchen. 

“Good morning to you too.” You laughed, reaching up to grab coffee mugs for you and Javi, as he leaned down, patting your dad on the back to greet him. 

“Hey, good to see you Mr.-” 

“For fucks sake, please- Jav, buddy, I love ya, I swear to God, if you keep talking so loud, I’m gonna sock you in the face.” A dramatic wince spread across your dad’s brow, pinching the bridge of his nose, holding up his free hand to stop Javi from speaking any further. 

“Fun night last night?” You snickered, setting down a warm cup of coffee for you and Javi as the two of you pulled up chairs at the kitchen table where your dad was sulking. 

“Well someone seems to think that every time he goes out drinking with Gary, he’s 21 again and isn’t going to suffer the consequences of endless Irish Car Bombs the next day.” Stumbling into the kitchen to join you, your mom grumbled as she wrapped her robe tighter around her chest, her look equally as disheveled as your dad’s. “Good to see you two, but what your dad said, not so loud, please.” Your mom sat down next to you, letting out a loud groan, reaching over to steal a swig of Javi’s coffee. “Sorry honey, you’re family now, and I’m hungover as shit.” 

“The coffee’s all yours.” Javi chuckled, pushing the mug over to your mom. 

“So what are all you idiots up to today?” Greg mumbled, taking a sip of his own coffee, trying his best to be interested in your presence, despite his pounding headache. 

“About to put that ice rink of yours to good use, old man.” David laughed, hands outstretched for high fives from you and Javi as he burst through the front door towards the kitchen. 

“Will you keep it down, you motherfucker? You won’t be alive to make it to the backyard if you keep screaming like that.” You could feel the annoyance radiating from your dad as he buried his face in his hands.

“Love you too, dad.” David snickered, giving your dad a hearty slap on the back, playing into his post-drinking pain. 

“Do you guys actually have an ice rink in your backyard?” Javi asked, trying to peer out the window over the kitchen sink to see if this was just your family trying to pull one over on him. 

“Yes, actually. Since we have such a big backyard, my dad decided to build one when Charlie first started skating, and it’s been there every winter ever since. I’m pretty sure Dad loves that rink more than he loves his own kids.” You laughed, rolling your eyes as Charlie slapped your dad, making him let out a long, exasperated sigh. 

“Honey, that is not true, your dad loves you very much!” 

“Right now I love the rink more than them. You know why? Because the rink is silent. It’s not yelling in my goddamn ear. She’s a beauty this year. Best it’s ever looked.” Your dad nodded, a slight grin building under the pain of his hangover. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it, Gregory.” Standing up out of his chair, David grabbed your dad by the shoulders, giving him another hardy slap on the back before heading back to the front door, returning with his skates, hockey gloves, and stick. “You guys ready? Charlie and Olivia should be here soon too.” 

“Only if you’re ready for me to kick your ass.” You smirked, joining David as you stood, leaving Javi still sitting in his chair, looking utterly terrified. “C’mon!” Outstretching your arm towards Javi, encouraging him to stand up with you and your brother, he slowly pushed himself out of his chair, wearily looking back and forth between the both of you. 

“I don’t uh- I don’t have any skates?” Javi grimaced, trying to think of an excuse for the inevitable embarrassment he knew he would be subjected to if anything other than shoes were on his feet. 

“Don’t worry, you’re not getting out of this one so easily, Jav. If there is one thing my parents will never get rid of, it’s skates, and I’m pretty sure we have at least one pair in every size known to man in the basement. You two go change, I’ll grab the gear.” David snickered, sneaking his way between you two towards the basement stairs, loudly pounding down each step. 

“Not so loud David, Jesus! Your feet are made of fucking cement!” Greg sighed, laying face down into the table, you and Javi trying to contain your laughter as you headed back upstairs to change. 

The forecast for today called for sunny skies and just below freezing- the type of day that was made for outdoor fun in the snow that came few and far between in Chicago’s cold and cloudy winters. Shuffling through your bag, you pulled out your thickest pair of leggings, along with a heavy heather gray hoodie, topped with one of the 3 Blackhawks jerseys still stashed at home in your childhood bedroom and your favorite Blackhawks beanie that had gone untouched since you had moved to Texas, not feeling the need to bring warm weather accessories with you. 

“Do you put the coat on over the jersey?” Javi asked, shuffling through his suitcase, looking for another layer to add over his long sleeved shirt, trying to brace himself for more than 30 seconds out in the cold. 

“Nope, no coat. It’s a balmy 29 today, Jav, that’s no jacket weather. Welcome to a midwest winter, babe.” You laughed, pressing up on your tiptoes to give him a quick kiss as you readjusted your hat on your head, making your way out the door, letting out a squeal as Javi brought his hand down to your ass, giving it a playful slap. 

“You look fucking hot in that jersey.” Javi bit down on his lip as he looked you up and down, raising an eyebrow at you as you whipped your head back around. 

“If you think trying to butter me up with compliments is gonna get you out of putting skates on, you are sadly mistaken, Mr. Peña.” You giggled as Javi pulled you back in, wrapping his arms around your hips, planting another soft kiss on your lips, his hand cupping your face. 

“A man can try, can’t he?” 

“C’mon, goofball, it’s hockey time.” 

“Auntie Bear, Auntie Bear! Watch me do my backwards skating! Watch, watch! I’m getting so good!” Olivia squealed as she watched you and Javi make your way out to the backyard through the path that had been plowed from the house to the homemade ice rink, which, all credit to your dad, looked better than any year you could remember it before. You and Javi clapped and cheered as you watched Olivia clumsily glide backwards across the ice, making it about halfway before plopping on her bottom and falling. “Oops! Okay, Auntie Bear, pretend you didn’t see that part!” 

“Nice job, Missy! You’re gonna be skating faster than me soon!” You grinned, sitting yourself down on the worn picnic table that had been your family’s skate tying station for more than 2 decades, pulling out your skates, gloves and stick, along with the pair David had picked out for Javi. You kicked off your boots, slipping on your skates and yanking the laces, the familiar squeeze of your foot inside for the first time in over a year bringing a childlike grin to your face. “You want any help?” You asked, looking over at Javi, unconfidently lacing up the rest of his skates. 

“I can help you, Uncle Javi! I’m helping Bri Bri learn how to skate since she doesn’t know how to either!” Olivia shouted from the other side of the rink, waving her arms at the two of you. 

“Just need help not getting my pride bruised by a 6 year old who can skate better than I can.” Javi sighed, pressing his hands on his thighs as he stood up, trying his best not to wobble at the lack of stability. “You have to promise not to laugh at me…” Taking another step towards the rink, Javi mumbled under his breath, looking over at you. 

“I promise… To only laugh a little.” You smirked, speeding off across the ice, using your stick to grab one of the pucks from the pile that had formed along the edges of the snowbank walls. Dragging it along the frozen surface, you weaved it between Charlie’s legs without him even noticing, speeding past him before he even had a chance to stop you. David, who could now see you coming, put himself in the way of your path, holding his stick out to try and snatch your puck for the rest of your lap. Cradling it in your stick, you shuffled the black rubber back and forth, giving it a backhanded nudge, spinning around and taking the puck with you as you flew past your brother. Making your way around the last curve of the rink, you swooped around, facing yourself towards the net, drew your stick back and slapped the puck into the goal. 

“She shoots, she scores! Go Auntie Bear!” Olivia squealed, pumping her fists in the air as you skated back around to grab her, hoisting her up off the ice, giving her a little shake before gently setting her down and making your way back to Javi. 

“Showoff…” Javi laughed, trying his best to roll his eyes despite his genuine admiration for how impressed he was with what he had just watched you do. 

“Sorry, I’m done now. Gotta put everyone back in their place now that I’m home.” You smirked, giving Javi a little shrug as you nodded towards the rink. “C’mon-I promise I won’t laugh at you, I swear. At least for the first part.” 

You weren’t sure if it was Javi trying to muster every ounce of athletic talent that he had in his body, or simply the fact that he was just as stubborn as you (even if he wouldn’t admit it), but after only a few wipeouts (and some helpful tips from Olivia), Javi making his way around on skates well enough to not be completely embarrassed for his first time on the ice. It didn’t take long for skating to turn into grabbing fist fulls of snow from the edge of the rink, pressing them into snowballs and hurling them at one another, all of you slipping and sliding across the ice in laughter and hysterics from your battle. After a quick break inside for hot chocolate, Olivia had somehow roped you and Javi back outside to build a snowman before she went home, insisting that her Uncle Javi needed to learn how to make one since he never had before.  

3 hefty balls of snow and several carefully selected sticks later, your snowman was nearly complete, You, Javi and Olivia taking a step back to admire your work, assessing what final touches needed to be added before you could call your project completed. “Alright, cutie pie. What else does our snowman need so we can finish?” You asked, shaking Olivia’s shoulders as she took her mitten covered hands to scratch her head, deep in thought as she analyzed your creation. 

“Hmmmmm. It still needs eyes… and a nose… and a name!” Olivia beamed, looking up at you and Javi. 

“Well, I think we can find some rocks for eyes, and I bet you can ask Grandma and Grandpa for an extra reindeer carrot for the nose, and we’ll let you decide on the name, Little Miss!” You smiled as Javi draped his arm over your shoulder, pulling you in closer to press a little kiss onto your beanie while Olivia had turned back around to gaze at her snowman. 

“I think… I think that his name should be Uncle Patrick! So that way he can still be here because I bet he misses playing hockey, and he’s really close to the ice rink. Do you think he misses us, Auntie Bear?” 

Over the past year, you had learned to deal with the comments and questions about your brother with less pain and suffering and more acceptance and forgiveness. Unfortunately, there was nothing from the past year that could have prepared you for the sucker punch that was your sweet, 6 year old niece, who didn’t even fully grasp the concept of death, let alone the reason why he was gone, to ask if your dead brother missed her. You took a shaky breath, trying to compose yourself before you spoke, fighting back the tears that had instantly begun welling in your eyes and pit growing in your stomach. 

“I uh- yeah, um. Yeah. I do think he misses us, Olivia.” You mustered everything you could to spread somewhat of a smile as Olivia turned back around towards you and Javi, a puzzled, sad look growing across her little face. 

“Then why did he have to leave if he misses us? Did he not love us?” 

You weren’t quite sure how a tiny voice had left such a big hole in your heart. You tried to find any words to answer her innocent question, racking your brain for ways to provide any explanation that you could rationalize to her, or yourself. 

“Well, um…” You paused, taking a moment to get down on her level, almost as if to try and find a way to buy yourself more time to formulate your response. “Um- Olivia- Your Uncle Patrick… he was really sick. Not in a way that you get sick when you have a cold, or the flu, but sick in a way that makes your brain and your heart really sad. He did love us. He loved us a lot. But sometimes- sometimes when people are sick like how Uncle Patrick was- It… it doesn’t matter how much they love you, or you love them. Their heart hurts so much that they can’t see it. It- it hurt his heart less to leave than to stay.” 

A bitter silence hung in the air, the wetness from your eyes cold against your cheeks from the sting of the December breeze. You could feel the weight in your heart tugging towards the pit of your stomach from your painful admittance. You took a shaky breath, waiting for someone to say something, anything, before the hurt in your own heart built enough for you to lose your composure and burst into tears. You could almost hear the gears in Olivia’s little brain turning, her head gently tilted to the side, leaving you holding your breath as you waited for her response. She let out a little sigh, staring at the ground before staring back up at you. 

“I miss him, Auntie Bear.” 

“I miss him too, Olivia.” 

Reaching her arms up, Oliva wrapped herself around your waist, tightly hugging your hip, pressing her face into your jacket. The two of you stood there for a moment, tears welling in your eyes as you engulfed your niece in your grasp.

“Olivia! Time to go, munchkin! Momma’s gonna be mad if we’re late for dinner!” Charlie yelled, peeking his head out of the doorwall to the back porch, the glow of the house gently shining into the snow against the slowly darkening sky. 

“Okay, Daddy!” Olivia called back, lifting her head up from against your coat where her face had been resting. “Bye Auntie Bear! Love you!” 

“Uh-yeah, yeah, bye Cutie. Love you, too.” You stammered, choking back your tears, staring at the unfinished snowman in front of you. 

“Olivia, why don’t uh, why don't I take you inside, okay?” Javi chimed in, gently wrapping his arm around Olivia’s shoulder, ushering her towards the house, shooting you a sympathetic smile, trying to find a way to give you a moment to yourself. The two of them made their way back to the house, stomping through the snow as you were left alone, silent sobs heaving from your chest. The longer you looked at the three snowballs piled on top of each other, the wetter your face became, the unfinished piles of snow, just as unfinished as the life Patrick could have had ahead of him. So caught up in your grief and tears, you hadn’t heard Javi trudge his way back, immediately wrapping his arms around you as soon as he could reach you, holding you tightly as you sobbed into his coat. 

“Why’d he have to go? Why did it have to be him? It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair. I miss him so much, Javi.” 

“I know, baby. I know.” Javi sighed, pulling you in closer, pressing you against his chest, letting you soak his jacket with your tears until you didn’t have any left, your breaths becoming slow and deep as you finally looked back up at him with your red, wet eyes. 

“Does it ever get easier? Does it ever stop hurting so much?” Your voice trembled, sniffing between each word, trying to pull yourself together. Javi paused for a moment, letting out a long exhale, his hot breath fogging against the cold December air. 

“It’ll- it’ll always hurt. I don’t know if it ever gets easier, but you learn how to live with it. But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that being mad about it only makes it hurt more.” 

“Well I am mad at him, ‘cause he’s a fucking idiot.” You managed to let a small huff of laughter out between your tears, bringing your hand up to wipe your face, cheeks red and wet from your crying and the cold. “Sorry, I just… Olivia hasn’t talked about him a lot since he died, it- I was trying really hard not to think about it. Tomorrow will be one year since he’s been gone. It kinda all just hit me at once. Stupid fucking snowman.” 

 “Osita, you don’t have to apologize. It’s okay, baby. And hey, I think whoever made those snowballs did pretty good fucking job.” He smirked, giving you a little shake in his grasp, as the two of you looked back at the snowman.

“Yeah, he did alright.” You let out a little laugh, poking fun at Javi’s work before turning as you heard David’s footsteps clunking his way through the snow, making his way towards you. 

“Olivia make you cry about the stupid snowman, too?” David sighed, gesturing at your messy wet face before nodding back at the snowman, the 3 of you silently laughing to yourselves. “God, I miss that stupid motherfucker.” 

“Yeah. Me too.” 

“You missed out on the best rink Dad’s ever made, shithead. Your loss. You’re lucky your niece is nice enough to still want to include you. Serves you right she left you with skinny ass twig arms and an unfinished face.” David huffed, playfully kicking a pile of snow at the snowman, crossing his arms over his chest. “Jesus, I can’t believe I’m shit talking my dead brother beyond the grave through a fucking pile of snow.” 

“Like he wouldn’t do the same for you?” You smirked, giving David a punch on the arm as he rolled his eyes at you, shoving you back with enough force to make you stumble, toppling you over into a laughing heap in the snow. Sitting up, you looked over at the hockey rink, shimmering in the overcast of the porch lights, covered in the pucks and sticks that had been left from earlier. You smiled, pushing yourself out of the snow, making your way over to the ice and picking up one of the hockey sticks, dragging it back with you before propping it up against the frame of the snowman to make it look like he was holding it. “Can’t say we didn’t at least try to include you, jackass.” 

You let out a long exhale, nodding to yourself, a small smile drawn between your lips as you looked back at David and Javi, giving them a reassuring grin before turning around to head towards the house. Giving their own silent nod to the snowman, David and Javi followed behind, the 3 of you trudging through the white, fluffy snow, crunching under your boots.

The rest of your time at home, you couldn’t help but find yourself peeking out the back porch window, a silent smile creeping across your cheeks as you watched gentle white flakes fall on the snowman sitting in your yard, hockey stick resting in its twig hand as it sat next to your rink. It was a sight that somehow hurt and healed you at the same time. It pained you to know that a half-assed snowman in your backyard would be the closest you’d ever get to having your brother around again- that just like him, one day, as the weather turned, your snowman would start to fade away, melt into the earth, and disappear, never to be seen again.

But, just as seasons come and go, bringing change with each new month, you couldn’t help but feel your heart grow warm as you looked out at the rounded piles of snow stacked on one another- Patrick’s passing had forced you to change, to grow, to become a stronger person than you were a year ago. Change that had started off as fear and heartache, that somehow turned into the best thing that could have ever happened to you. Change that helped you find the love of your life when you least expected it. While Javi could never replace Patrick, his presence in your life, and your family’s life, had filled a void that all of you didn’t know you needed until he was in it. And while you’d never stop wishing you could have changed the end to your brother’s story, you knew he’d be smiling looking down on you, knowing the end of his story helped to change yours for the better.

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @blackfemalenerd @deppydelta @beware-my-thorns

[pedropascalsx]

The Beginning. {Javier Peña x F! Reader.}

Summary: You’d follow him anywhere. And so you did.

Warnings: Some angst, some concerns for the future, leaving a job without any plans, p in v sex, male and female masturbation and some soft!Javi. Please tell me if i forgot anything.

Word count: 1798.

Authors note: The plan is to follow up with their start in Laredo if people want it. Enjoy!

His fingers interlaced yours as you gently rested your head on his shoulder, he was quiet, but quiet in a way you had never seen him before. It was the kind of quiet that only comes when years of burden are thrown off of one’s shoulders, and the only weight that brushes the surface is one of gentle hands softly working out the knots that had formed over countless restless nights.

It was over. And after years of being held hostage by a battle that was continuing to rage on, he was finally free. Free to look back on the good he had done, instead of tormenting himself by focusing on the bad. Finally free to make a home after spending years trapped in a house and finally free to give the parts of himself to you that he feared you would find too ugly or too damaged to love.

But the moment you followed him into that office, and handed over your badge and gun without a second's hesitation he knew he had nothing to fear, you walked out of that building with your heads held higher than ever and your hand resting gently in his.

Javier peered out the plane window, the streets of Colombia feeling further and further away as the seconds dragged into minutes. Less than twenty minutes until the runway would be thousands of feet beneath you both and the roaring sound of the plane's engines would be an unofficial soundtrack to the new life awaiting you both.

“Are you sure your dad doesn’t mind?” you ask quietly as you nuzzle your face against his neck, “He hasn’t even met me and I’m going to be staying in his home.”

“He can’t wait to meet you,” Javi replies before placing a quick kiss on your scalp, “He’s going to adore you. Just try to sleep, baby.”

You don’t argue, you simply try to get as comfortable as you possibly can against the warm sticky leather seat and take a large inhale, flooding your senses with his warm welcoming scent.

‘Home,’ you think silently to yourself, maybe right now you don’t technically have a place made of bricks and mortar with a legal document declaring it as your own; but you have him and that’s all that matters at this very moment.

The reassuring squeeze of his hand as the flight attendants finish their safety demonstrations and the captain informs everyone on the aircraft that their seatbelts must be fastened squashes some of the anxiety burning in your tummy.

Sleep comes easily once you’re in the air, his shoulder making a comfortable headrest as he murmurs sweet nothings into your hair, peppering the occasional kiss as you succumb to your slumber.

You’re gifted vivid memories and flashbacks of their previous night as Colombia becomes a distant blur beneath you both.

[THE EVENING BEFORE]

He gripped your thigh the entire drive back to your apartment building, refusing to let go for a single second. It was almost like he feared you’d float away or drift away from his reach if he dared to.

“Stay with me tonight,” he pleaded as the car approached your building as if you’d ever consider spending the night alone after silently confessing that you’d follow him anywhere.

“Yes,” you replied breathlessly, your stomach twisting at the desperation that dripped off each word he muttered to you. It was hard to not plead with him to tell you what you could do to quench the anxiety that was clearly consuming him, but you couldn’t find the words. So you rested your hand on top of his hand that was squeezing your thigh, returning the favour by squeezing three times.

He parked his Jeep in its usual spot, immediately jumping out from the drivers side and rounding the car to open your door. His hand found yours straight away as he helped you out and led you up the steps towards the door.

“Do you need to get anything from yours?” he asked as he unlocked the door and you simply shook your head. He hummed in response before pulling you towards his apartment.

The second you were inside he finally felt comfortable enough to let your hand go, but not before bringing it to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on it. He poured a large glass of whiskey for himself and poured an equally large glass of wine for you before walking over and pressing his lips to yours.

“They won’t take long cancelling our visas,” he said with a shrug followed by a gulp of his drink.

“It probably would be wise to leave before that happens,” you mumbled back before gulping down your wine, “I don’t think it’s wise to wait around until it happens.”

You watched as he rolled his jaw, his teeth biting down into his lip as if to stop himself from speaking.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen next,” you admitted with a twist of your lips, “But I do know that I'm not ready to say goodbye to you, Javier.”

Two words fell from his lips before he was crashing towards you, his lips possessively covered yours as his tongue pushed its way inside your mouth. His hand pressed against the back of your head as he continued kissing you and his other hand rested on the small of your back. ‘Then don’t.’

You smiled against his mouth as your fingers searched for the buttons on his shirt, as usual he’d left the top few unfastened… something you were grateful for as it meant getting him undressed quicker.

He tugged at your shirt before pulling you towards his bedroom and you took the hint and immediately pulled it off. By the time you’d got to the end of hall, you’d both left a line of discarded garments and were only wearing your underwear.

“Get on the bed,” he growled against your lips and you happily obeyed.

You couldn’t count the amount of times you’d found yourself in his bed over the past six months or so. The first time it had happened you both promised yourselves that it was a one off and would never happen again. And then that very same evening he had fucked you so hard into the mattress that you were boneless for the rest of the night.

You never discussed stopping again. Instead you gave into all of the urges and the tension and the yearning. Being snuggled up against his warm chest every night simply became routine. The only thing that hadn’t happened was a much needed discussion about what you are to each other. Both of you secretly terrified that it was just a fling of convenience so you both refused to bring it up.

“Take off your panties and spread your legs for me,” he ordered as he watched you from the doorframe, his boxers pooled at the bottom of his feet as he languidly stroked on his cock.

You lifted your hips and rolled your panties down your legs kicking them off the edge of the bed before opening your legs. Arousal had spread throughout your folds and down your legs, your pussy glistening in the streaks of light creeping in through the crack in the curtains.

“Fuck,” he muttered as he slowly made his way towards you, “So fucking pretty.” His hand slowly glided up and down his cock as he kneeled between your legs, “Rub that pretty little clit for me, baby.”

Obeying his command your fingertips circled your bud of pleasure as you kept your focus on his hand. The sight of him stroking his cock was one you could never tire of, the soft grunts he let spill from his mouth as he squeezed his hand up and down himself were enough to make you cum alone.

You quickened the pace on your clit as he moved forward, gently nudging your hand away as he dragged the tip of his cock through your folds. Bringing it back up to tap in on your clit a few times before lining himself up to your entrance and sliding in. He pushed himself in slowly, taking a few seconds to let you adjust to the heft of him and once he’d filled you to the hilt he pressed a kiss on your lips and started rocking his hips.

Every roll of his hips was in perfect rhythm, his cock dragging against that spot inside of you without fail every time. Reducing you to a whimpering mess beneath him, keening at every drop of praise he lathered in you as he effortlessly pulled your first orgasm from you. Grunting in delight as you flooded his cock with your cum. “So perfect for me,” he mumbled as his thumb found your clit, drawing perfect circles as he continued to thrust in and out of your heat.

“Let’s make that pretty pussy cum again,” he gritted out as his pace fastens and every punch of his hips threatens to knock the wind out of you.

“Javier,” you chanted over and over as your hands grabbed at the sheets beneath you. His never ending stream of praises filled your ears as you clenched down hard around him as the stimulation on your clit became too much and not enough all at once. You came with a scream of his name.

Half a dozen thrusts later and Javier followed suit, pulling out and coating your swollen clit with thick warm ropes of his seed.

“Fuck,” he muttered as he watched the soft rise and fall of your chest as your came down from your high. He allowed himself a few minutes to take in the sight of you, sated, coated with a thin sheen of sweat and dripping with both of your arousal.

By the time he pulled himself away to get a damp cloth to clean you up with you were snuggled up against his pillow and dreaming peacefully.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

You woke with a jump, the flight attending announcing your imminent arrival sending a shock throughout you.

Javier’s hand tightened around yours as he chuckled at how adorable you looked with an expression of shock and annoyance splashed across your face at being disturbed from your peaceful sleep.

“I slept the whole flight?” you asked as you nuzzled your head into his shoulder.

“Pretty much,” he said back before pressing a kiss to your scalp, “Clearly needed it.”

You hummed gently in agreement before gently taking the tumbler of whiskey from his hand and taking a small sip.

“Ready for a new start?” you asked as you handed him back the cup.

“Yeah,” he said back with a slight twist of his lips, “I’m always ready for anything with you by my side.”

[creedslove]

MACARENA 🎊

Javier Peña x f!reader

This came out after a delusional thought I had here and here 😳

Summary: Javi is a little carried away at a party and he's dancing, shocking everyone around him

Warnings: fluff, pure fluff, drunk!Javi being adorable, a love sick puppy 😭

A/N: idk besties, I know it's silly AF but my heart asked me to do it 😭

0.5k words ~ drabble

"Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena

Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena

Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena

Hey Macarena, ay"

"How many has Javi had?!" Connie asked her husband with a frown on her face, not recognizing the usual grumpy, serious agent in front of her. Steve only scoffed and took another sip of his beer as he shrugged and wrapped his arms around his wife, so amused to watch a scene he thought he never would: Javier Peña dancing. 

Javi had many qualities that drew feminine attention, but dancing never seemed to be one of them, as he had never displayed his abilities before. Not even when he was out at bars in Colombia, or during parties at the embassy. Of course, this party was different after all, they weren't under unbearable stress for having to chase Pablo Escobar, worrying about their lives constantly. Javier wasn't the same bitter, broken man who needed to seek comfort in the arms of beautiful strangers. Instead, they were in Laredo, in a beautiful summer night, everyone was happy and celebrating, most of all Javier, who had drunk a few too many and danced without a care in the world, suit jacket long lost somewhere in the party, white shirt becoming see through with sweat and spilled drinks and tie loosened around his body. 

He was happy and for the first time in a long time, probably for the first time in his life, he felt carefree like he didn't have to look over his shoulder all the time, worrying about threats and all the horrible scenes that very often still tormented him, but this time he had other priorities, he had other people to worry about. 

When he spotted you amongst the people, he pulled you by the waist, eyeing you up and down and grinning at the sight he had of you. 

"Looking good, cariño" his smug face was enough for you to giggle, his red cheeks, sweat beads falling down his forehead making your heart melt. 

"You're looking good, Mr.Peña" you winked and placed both hands on his cheeks, squeezing them softly and leaning in for a peck, but got stopped by him 

"Sorry, you are gorgeous cariño, but I'm married now" he smirked and raised his left hand, showing you his golden band and caused you to roll your eyes "yeah? Is your wife pretty?" 

"Gorgeous!" He laughed and pulled you closer, nuzzling your neck and looking down at your beautiful, wedding dress "my wife is my queen, she saw right through the asshole I was and could see something good in me, she found love in me, she gave me a chance to live a life worth living, to have the chance to build a family with her and well, if I hadn't married her, I would propose to her right now" he said sweetly. 

Javi was exactly the kind of drunk you loved, he was affectionate, giggly and he danced. You leaned in, kissing your husband, your heart melting at how beautiful his words were. 

You were married to the man of your dreams and he loved you just as much. 

____

[pimosworld]

Pairing- Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary- Javier gets a dog

CW- Angst,Fluff,lots of fluff, adopting a pet, shameless flirting, Chucho being adorable, Javi talking to a dog a lot.

WK-3k

A/N- This is my first time writing for Javi so be gentle. This wasn’t an ask but someone really wanted a Javi beagle fic and it spoke to me since I work at a pet hospital. Please enjoy this adorable one shot. This is for you @keylimebeag

Not beta read

My shelter

Life in Laredo was fine. 

  Javier had his father, his health, plenty of things to do around the ranch to keep him occupied. It was also a plus that he wasn’t being shot at everyday. 

  It was fine. 

  He tries not to seem ungrateful for his life, especially in front of his dad. He always worked so hard to provide for him and his mother. He was so proud, telling everyone in town his son was going to take down Pablo Escobar. 

  He didn't miss the way people treated him when he moved back home. He was not a celebrity, nothing special…just doing his job. At least that’s how he felt. Now everyday was the same, get up at the crack of dawn, feed the animals,have breakfast with his pops,do whatever project was assigned so that he could feel useful, have dinner and go to sleep. 

Sleep wasn’t usually easy to come by these days. 

  Rinse and repeat, day in and day out. 

  Tonight is going to be one of those sleepless nights. He’s been nervous  all day, smoking more than he’d care to admit. None of his daily tasks seemed to quell the oncoming anxiety. His dad is making dinner and even that is setting him on edge. The clinking of the plates, the scraping of the pan. 

  Chuchos has been treating him like a scared animal in a cage all day and he wants to tell him to lay off but he can’t. 

  “I think you need a companion.” 

  “What!”Javi looks up from his plate at his dad. 

  “Ms. Valencia said that could help with ptsd.” Chucho scrapes the remaining carnitas onto Javier’s plate even though he had said he was done. 

  “Listen pops, I don’t really need Ms. Valencia’s advice on ptsd or help finding a companion right now.” 

  Chucho sighs and looks down at his plate, moving the food around with his fork. “I mean…like a dog or something. I’m not trying to play matchmaker.” 

  Javier points toward the window. “I have plenty of animals to keep my company.” 

  His dad laughs, easing some of the tension of the conversation. “Well son they can’t come inside or go on walks. It was just an idea.” 

  “Thanks but I’ll be fine with the cows. You’ve been… spending a lot of time with Ms. Valencia.” 

  “Don’t change the subject Javier.” He stands to grab his plate but Javi ushers him to sit and heads to the sink to start the dishes. “Thanks for doing those son…I’m gonna head out, don’t wait up for me.” 

  Javi smirks as his dad throws on his coat and fixes his hair in the reflection of the toaster. 

  “You kids be safe.” Chucho waves him off before closing the back door. 

  ****

  After another long sleepless night, Javi decided to head into town. He was just going to the market to pick up a few things for dinner and stop by the hardware store for longer screws to fix the fence so the cows would stop getting out. 

  He’s driven by it dozens of times, somehow he’s never had a reason to go inside. He really shouldn’t go inside. He’ll never hear the end of it from Chucho. Laredo Animal Protective Society free adoptions. Maybe he’ll just go in and look. 

  There’s a few dogs playing in the small yard next to the building, all happily wagging their tails as they follow him along the fence. He can’t imagine how there's any dogs here at all with how cute they all look. He’s not even inside and he’s already a goner. 

  ****

  The bell chimes at the front door and you have to cease petting the senior cat October or Tobi for short. Despite it being free adoption day, you didn’t have very many customers so you’re excited to maybe help make a connection. It comes as a surprise when you enter the front lobby and see the last person you would expect to be at your job. 

  Javier Peña 

  Even with his back turned you can still make out that stance. He’s standing with his head cocked to the side as he reads the information board. 

  He hears you shuffle in and turns to greet you. His shy smile puts you at ease, knowing his reputation it was a relief to see him a little nervous. 

  “Welcome to LAPS, are you here for our free adoptions?” 

  Javi can see your mouth moving as you approach him, but he’s not entirely sure he heard a word you said. Your disarming smile and bubbly charm has him feeling something he hasn’t felt in quite some time. 

  Maybe his dad was right. 

  You’re patiently waiting for him to respond as he stands there dumbfounded. You don’t seem intimidated or annoyed by his presence as he nervously rubs the back of his neck. 

  “I’m ugh…not entirely sure what I’m looking for.” 

  “Well let’s start with something easy then. Are you a dog or cat person?” You turn towards the kennel doors hoping he gets the hint to follow you. 

  “A little of both I guess, but I’m here for a dog.” Now that the words have left his mouth it starts to feel a little more real. 

  You clap your hands together and lead him into the doors on the right. “The dogs are this way, we try to keep them separate so the cats can relax.” You turn to him and smile again, he’s not sure how every single person that walks in here doesn’t leave with a pet if this is how you treat the customers. 

  You pass a few cages that are marked in various colors, he silently follows you as you explain what the colors mean. Some are already adopted and others are just boarding. A few of them are getting acclimated to the shelter or waiting for people to come get them because they’re just lost. He hasn’t really looked at any of them, too focused on the way your blue scrubs hug your curves. 

  At the end of the cages are some long runs, a beautiful German shepherd is in the first one. Jesse James is his name, he’s 4 years old and very excited as he puts his large paws on the front of the door. 

  “He’s a sweetheart, his owners couldn’t afford his knee surgery so they surrendered him to us. Unfortunately he needs another surgery so keep that in mind.” 

  Javi thinks he’s nice, but that’s a lot to take on. Plus he already has large animals to take care of.

  The second run has an elderly looking golden retriever Audrey is the name on the tag, you stop to open the door as she gingerly makes her way towards you wagging her tail. Your soft voice as you crouch down and greet her has his heart practically melting. Her face is golden and graying in some spots. 

  “She’s twelve…so I don’t know if  she’s a good fit for you.” You answer the silent question on cue as if you can read his mind. 

  “What’ll happen to her, if no one takes her.” The timber in his voice cracks slightly at the prospect. 

  You look up at him while Audrey enjoys your soft pets and see the heartbroken look in his eyes. 

  “Oh…this is a no kill shelter. If no one takes her she’ll just live out her life here with us.” You stand and close the door and she slinks back to her plush bed. “We have to do free adoptions occasionally when space gets limited.”

  The final run has no tag on the door. A small beagle comes to the front as you open the door. He looks young but not a puppy. You step aside and let Javi crouch down to greet him. Javi scratches him behind the ear and is rewarded with small licks to his face. 

  “Hi buddy, you want to come home with me.” He barks once and wags his tail and Javi has all but made his decision. 

  It’s adorable the way Javi coos at the small dog, you can’t help but look at the way his jeans stretch when he crouched down to say hi. His black shirt is taught over his muscular frame and a sliver of skin just barely shows as he leans forward. 

  “What’s his story?” He catches you checking him out briefly when he turns around. He’ll have to send some flowers with his pops to Ms. Valencia as a thank you. 

  “She was roaming the streets a few weeks ago. She’s past her waiting period for someone to claim her.” 

  “Oh so you’re a lady.” You chuckle at the way his voice changes as he properly addresses her. “Hola cariño, cómo te llamas?” 

  “She doesn’t have a name just yet.” She barks twice in his face and he lets out a hearty laugh. “She likes to bark, I hope you don’t mind.” 

  “No one out at the ranch will complain.” He says it mostly to himself as he’s all but confirmed that he won’t be going home empty handed. 

  ****

  “Well let’s get your paperwork sorted out.” He’s muttering half phrases to her in English and Spanish as she rolls over for him to rub her belly. “I promise she’ll be here when we’re done Javier.”

  It’s not just the way you say his name but the fact that he doesn’t remember even introducing himself. He looks up at you then and notices your name tag. The name is vaguely familiar but he knows he’d remember your face. 

  “Have we met before?” He asks as he stands and closes the run door. 

  You laugh as you make your way towards the front, knowing he’ll follow close behind. 

  “Yes Javier Peña we’ve met before.” 

  A slight panic falls over him as he tries to rack his brain for any memory of you. You’re grazing your fingers along the cages as you speak softly to the other animals. 

  “I’m sure I’d remember if we met.” That flirting tone that you knew to be the real Javier makes an appearance as you round the corner to the front desk. 

  “I won’t hold it against you. I was a few years under you and I guess you would call me a late bloomer, but I hate that term.” You nervously bite your lip as you slide him the paperwork for the adoption.

  He feels a little bad that he didn’t remember you. He had blinders on back then, only had eyes for one woman before he left for Colombia. He wants to ask you out for coffee, maybe even go to lunch. He’s still hesitant now having to approach women in a proper manner. When women practically throw themselves at you it’s hard to remember how to court someone. 

  You gasp and skip to the back before he has a chance. You return with an arm full of stuff and set it on the counter. 

  “We just had some donations so you’re in luck Javier Peña.” He doesn’t normally like when people use his full name. It makes him feel old and official, but he loves the way it rolls off your tongue as you lick your bottom lip, a nervous habit he’s noticed during your interaction. “ Food to last a few weeks, toys, and a leash. Perfect way to get you started.” 

  It does feel perfect.

  “I’ll go get your girl. You’ll have to tell me when you come up with a name.” You wink at him and disappear behind the doors again. 

  ****

  His new companion is sleeping comfortably in the passenger seat of his truck. She stirs occasionally when the road gets a little bumpy but relaxes almost immediately. 

  The setting sun shines through the passenger window and she lifts her paw to cover face. He chuckles to himself at the human-like gesture as he reaches over and scratches behind her ear. 

  “Never thought I’d have a partner in crime again.” She lifts her head and barks at him. “You’re just as talkative as my old partner, Steve.” She speaks again, her hearty boisterous bark echoing in the cab of the truck. 

  She sits up as he drives down the path leading to the ranch. Her soft pants and excited tail wags as she takes in the sight of all the farm animals has him feeling a sense of contentment. 

  “Steve is no name for a lady, cariño.” She paws at his arm and lets out a small whine. “How about Murphy?” She barks twice in his face as he parks his truck in front of the house. 

  Steve is gonna love this. 

  ****

  Chucho drops a piece of meat on the floor as Murphy hurriedly scarfs it down. 

  “Dad, don’t feed her your food, she has her own food.” Javi looks at Murphy as she licks her chops. 

  “I didn’t give her anything son.”  Chucho slowly dips his hand below the table to feed her another piece. He holds his hand up to shush her as he saunters off to the hallway to enjoy her treat. 

  Javi rolls his eyes as she returns from the hallway and lays down in her bed near the back door. She looks outside and lets out a puff of air as she buries her head under the blanket. 

  “I’m glad you took my advice, Jav.” He looks up at his dad smiling to himself while he finishes his meal. 

  “Technically I took Ms. Valencia’s advice.” His dad scowls as he shrugs his shoulders, standing to gather his plate in the sink. 

  ****

  “You named your dog after me!” He can hear the girls giggle in the background as Steve shoos them away. 

  “Not exactly, she’s tolerable and I like her company.” He stares down at the dog, perched at his feet while he stands in the kitchen at the receiver. 

  “If you missed me that much you could’ve come visit.” 

  “Ha,ha very funny.” It’s true he did miss his partner, Murphy is turning out to be a wonderful replacement. 

  “I’d like to meet this girl that convinced you to get a dog.” His teasing tone is clearly evident over the phone. He briefly mentioned you so he’s not sure how Steve could even pick up on his obvious crush. 

  “Goodnight Murphy.” 

  “Are you talking to me or the dog?” Connie can’t disguise her laugh on the other end, clearly eavesdropping on the conversation. 

  “The girls and Connie will get to meet your namesake the next time you come to see me.” 

  They say their goodbyes as Javi hangs up the phone. Murphy lets out a long drawn out yawn and Javi agrees it’s definitely time for bed after a long eventful day. Her first night not sleeping in the shelter, it pains him and warms his heart all at once knowing she won’t ever have to go back there. 

  “Let’s go to bed Murph.” The pitter patter of her feet follows him down the hall to his room. He places her bed in the corner and strips off his clothes. She hops up onto the edge of the bed before he has a chance to tell her no. 

  “Your bed is down there cariño.” She rolls over exposing her belly as she nuzzles further into the blankets and he knows it will be nearly impossible to tell her to get down. 

  “Fine, but just tonight.” He doesn’t even want to address the fact that he spent most of his day talking to her, he wonders if she can even understand him. 

  It won’t be until much later that he realizes how peacefully he slept that night. 

  ****

  Javi stretches his tired muscles as he takes in the soft morning light peeking through the window. He doesn’t immediately register how comfortable he is or well rested. He’s usually up before the crack of dawn so he knows it’s much later than he’s used to waking up.

  The edge of the bed is empty save for the small indent where Murphy laid all night. Her bed is empty as well and the door is slightly ajar. Panic sets in as he throws back the blanket and pulls on his sweats forgoing a shirt to look for his companion. 

  You said she was roaming the streets when she was found and he hopes she didn’t decide to run off in the middle of the night. Despite requiring opposable thumbs to open the door, he can’t think straight until he knows she’s safe. 

  He’s calling her name throughout the house as he takes note of the kitchen being gently used. There’s a small plate next to the food bowl of untouched kibble with some leftover scrambled eggs. 

   Chucho 

  It’s the first morning since he’s been home where he really takes in the sight. His dad is at the fence with the calves and Murphy is sitting beside him. She’s looking up at him as he explains something to her as if she can understand him. 

  He points out to the pasture and she looks out and barks at the small calves running to their mother. Javi is very glad he took that step and brought her home because more than one person seemed to need her presence in their lives. 

  He should call and thank you. 

  He heads over to his truck to pull out the paperwork from the adoption. It’s really the only way he has to contact you so he hopes it’s you who picks up the phone. 

  He slams the truck door and sees Murphy running toward him full speed. 

  “She’s excited to see her papa.” Chucho exclaims as he sends a wave to his son. “I’m going to feed the rest of the animals. I'll catch up with you later.” He winks at Javi as he lumbers off to the barn. 

  ****

  His hands are a little shaky as he dials the number to the shelter. Murphy is laying on his feet beside the table as she drifts off to sleep again, probably having been awake for hours with Chucho. 

  “Laredo Animal Protective Society.” Your sweet voice comes through the receiver and he’s nervous and relieved all at once. 

  “Hi, it’s Javier…Peña.” You chuckle a little on the other end. 

  “I hope you’re not sick of her already.” 

  “Oh no, not at all…Murphy loves it here.” He looks down at her as she rolls over exposing her belly again. 

  “Murphy? I’m guessing there’s a story there.” 

  “Ya there is…I’d love to tell you over lunch or dinner.” Murphy barks and he nearly drops the phone. 

  “I think that bark means dinner, and I’d love to hear it Javier Peña.” 

Comments and reblogs are much appreciated

[cherry-holmes]

Glimpse of a life with Javier Peña

Chapter 12

MAIN MASTERLIST

Summary: As your relationship with Javier progresses, ghosts from the past return to avenge what was taken from them.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Previous chapter

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Word count: +2.9k

Warnings: Violence typical of the series. Author decide no to give more details to avoid spoilers.

A/N: I’m sorry for the delay! But here is chapter 12, hope to bring chapter 13 ASAP!✨

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

In less than a week, you moved to Javi's apartment. It could be quicker if you were completely able to walk and if he wasn't that busy at work. Javier felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, he didn't want to leave your side not even for a second. After the attack, torn between worry about your injury and the possibility that you might need help at home, he did anything he could to stay at home with you even when you assured him that you would be just fine and that you understood he have to go to work. But Javi stayed, took good care of you, and the next day, after a session of sweet kisses on the bed, he reluctantly left to work, with Steve giving him a ride.

You assured him that you would be okay and promised to call him immediately if you needed anything, but he didn't feel you were safe anymore. The responsibility and guilt for what happened weighed heavily on him. He needed to take action to ensure your safety and seek justice. He swore to himself that he would make those responsible pay for what they did to you.

He helped you to moved into his place as soon as they assigned him a new truck. You talked with the the landlady of your building to ended up your contract and you sold most of your furniture. You only kept your favorites and replaced Javi's with them.

When he saw at how different his usual manly, lonely and cold apartment looked now, he felt a healing warmth on his chest, and he couldn't feel more comfortable, grateful and in love in his entire life. He knew, in that moment, that he wanted to spend the rest of his days just like that. By your side.

One day, he even seriously thought about calling his dad and ask him to send him his mother's wedding ring as soon as possible.  He didn't, though. Not because he changed his mind about share his life with you or that he had doubts about if you were the one. But because he wanted to do a formal, beautiful proposal. He wanted to do it when you both were far from that dangerous and cruel scenarios; when he take you to Laredo to meet his dad and the ranch and he also wanted to know your sisters and your so beloved grandfather in Mexico.

Javier wanted to do things right with you.

When he was engaged with Lorraine, he didn't even gave her his mother's ring. That should be a signal, he thought. His excuse was that that ring belonged only to his mother and not even his father's constant insistence could change his mind. He was sure, even if he didn't say it, of course, that what he felt for Lorraine could never compare with the bond of pure love his parents felt for each other.

But he could perfectly see you wearing that ring and he thought about how well it matched the necklace he gifted to you on your birthday and that you never took off.

But Javier knew that if he wanted to achieve that, he needed to make sure you will be safe. He felt you were his responsibility, he wanted to provide you and protect you from everything and everyone.

Whatever it took.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"You're gonna be late, Javi," you warned him between kisses and silly smiles, "...again."

"I don't care," he shrugged, seeking your soft lips once more, "as long as I can kiss you."

His mouth captured yours, and you suppressed a soft moan, aware that if he heard you, he would take you back to bed for another round of morning sex. It's not that you didn't want that, but you were mindful that it was the third day in a row he would arrive late at the office. If you had learned something during your time with him, it was that Javier Peña's cock was simply addictive.

As his hands traced the contours of your body, you gently pushed him away, a playful smile on your lips. "Javi, you really need to go."

He sighed, a mixture of reluctance and desire in his eyes. "I know, I know," he said, stealing one last lingering kiss before reluctantly pulling away. "I miss you at the office," he said, "I miss that pencil skirts you wear," he added, giving you a playful wink.

"I'll be back this Monday," you reminded him, "And you'll see me in those skirts all day."

You left another sweet peck on his lips, absorbing his scent and warmth. "I was thinking...," he started, taking the tip of your pointer finger and playing with your red nail, "maybe we could have dinner out, at that fancy sushi restaurant you like."

"Really? Are you sure?" you asked, a hint of excitement that you couldn't hide. You and Javi had been locked in your apartment since the attack. You knew he was doing everything to protect you, and even though you loved the warm nest of pure love and intimacy you had built together, you needed to confront the world sooner or later.

He nodded, gently brushing a stray lock of hair from your beautiful face, "Yeah, don't worry, we'll be fine," he assured you, kissing your forehead. "Call me if you need anything, okay?" he reminded you, his gaze filled with genuine concern.

You nodded, appreciating his caring nature. "I will, mi amor. Please, take care of yourself," you crossed him, as you always did, and planted a last kiss on his lips.

And with that, he left, leaving you with a sense of longing and a smile that lingered throughout the day.

•••••••

Messina allowed you to take your typewriter and continue working on your translator duties at home. Actually, she didn't have any other choice, as you were the only translator responsible for Javi and Steve's daily reports. It was also beneficial for you, as it provided a sense of normalcy amid the chaos of the ongoing circumstances. Working from home allowed you to maintain a routine, even though the circumstances were far from ordinary.

The day unfolded swiftly as you balanced your work, domestic tasks, and the rhythmic tunes of music on the radio. Javier called, checking on you and informing you about the delay in his return. However, he still eagerly suggested dinner, leaving the plan open for you.

In the late afternoon, after completing your tasks, you treated yourself to a refreshing shower and took extra care with your makeup and clothing, anticipating Javier's return. Remembering his preference, you adorned yourself in red, a color he often praised for accentuating your radiance.

You were ready for the hour he estimated for his return, but it didn't happen. Initially, you used his delay to double-check your papers. However, as an hour and a half passed without his arrival, worry set in. You attempted multiple calls to both the Embassy landline and his personal cellphone, but none were answered.

Sitting on the couch, you turned on the TV, but your mind couldn't shift away from concerns about Javier. It was highly unusual for him not to respond to your calls, especially without prior notice for a date delay. Attempting to calm yourself, you considered scenarios like a sudden meeting or heavy traffic, reassuring yourself that his phone might have died, leaving him temporarily unreachable.

You tried to relaxed, took an aspirin for your heard and tried to pay attention to the television.

Javi is just fine, he'll come at any moment.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A lightning strike in the midnight sky woke you up, your heart racing, and sweat forming on the back of your neck. Glancing at the kitchen clock, you realized it was half past eleven p.m. with still no sign of Javi. You changed into your pajamas and proceeded to call Javi's desk three times in a row and his phone three times.

"Por favor, mi vida, contesta," you prayed. Nothing.

You decided to go upstairs to the Murphy's apartment and knocked until Steve finally opened. You felt a hint of guilt as you saw his sleepy face and a fresh stain of formula on his pajama.

"I'm so sorry for the hour," you said, embracing yourself, "Javi hasn't come home. I tried to call him, but he didn't answer."

Steve's expression shifted from groggy to alert as soon as he heard your words. He invited you in, so  could you explained the situation in more detail.

As you sat on the sofa, Connie emerged from their bedroom, little Olivia on her arms, and approached to you, calling your name softly.

"What happened?" She asked.

"I'm sorry; it's Javi. He hasn't come back," you explained. Connie sat beside you, and her husband asked you about what Javi told you. "He called this afternoon and said he would stay late in the office, but he assured me that he would come for our date," you told them, prompting Steve's eyes to flicker with a mix of surprise and concern. He exchanged a quick glance with Connie before turning his attention back to you.

"Are you sure?" Steve asked, a subtle hint of worry in his voice.

You hesitated, grappling with the unease that had settled in your gut. "Yeah, he sounded occupied. Why? Is something wrong?"

Connie glanced at Steve, and there was a silent exchange of concern between the couple. Steve took a deep breath before speaking. "He left the office as soon as they assigned him a new car, around 3 or 4 in the afternoon," he explained. "I thought he had come home; I called him, but he didn't answer. I thought that you both were, well, busy."

Concern etched across your face as Steve and Connie exchanged a worried glance, silently acknowledging the gravity of the situation. A sense of unease lingered in the air.

"I'll try calling him again," you said, reaching for the landline next to the sofa. Each ring seemed to intensify the tension in the room. No answer. Anxiety coiled within you as you contemplated the possibilities.

Steve broke the silence. "I should go to the office. Maybe he's still there."

Nodding, you began to stand up, Olivia's sleepy eyes watching you with a hint of concern from her mother's arms. "I'll go with you," you said.

However, Connie placed a gentle hand over your shoulder, pulling you down again. "Honey, we should stay," her voice sweet and reassuring.

"I can't, I..." your voice cracked as the emotions you had been suppressing pushed to come out, as if you were a pressure cooker about to explode. "I need to know where he is. What if they found him and...?" you stopped yourself, not wanting to even imagine if something terrible had happened to him.

"I know you're worried about Javi, but it would be safer for us to stay here," she explained, and you felt powerless. "Steve is gonna find him, right, baby?" She sought help from her husband, and he nodded.

"I'll call you immediately as soon as I find him," he assured, and after changing his pajama, he left the apartment.

Connie suggested going back to your place, in case Javi called or returned. You sat there, a mix of fear and impatience consuming you. Connie stayed by your side, offering comfort with every reassuring word. The tick-tock of the damn clock echoed through the room, each passing second intensifying your worry.

As you anxiously waited for Steve's call, Olivia shifted in her sleep, sensing the tension around her. Connie softly hummed a lullaby, a melody that seemed to soothe both the child and the anxious mother.

Minutes felt like hours, and the hours were torturous, but finally, the ringing of the phone pierced the heavy air. You grabbed it hastily, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Hello?" you answered, the desperation evident in your voice.

"It's me," Steve's voice came through the line. "I found Javi."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. "Oh, thank God!" you exclaimed, relief washing through your body. Connie relaxed immediately when she heard you. "Can you hand him the phone, please?" you asked, but your heart sank again when you heard Steve let out a heavy breath. "Steve?"

"Listen, I'm at the hospital," he admitted, and you felt your legs get weak as you staggered back.

"Ho-hospital? What happened?" you urged, a lump forming in your throat.

"He was investigating leads on Diego," Steve explained, his voice reflecting the worry etched on his face. "There was an ambush. Javi took a bullet."

You felt the room spin as the gravity of the situation sank in. You almost fainted, if it weren't for Connie, who held you. She took the phone, and you didn't even protest.

Connie's voice was the lifeline you desperately clung to. She gathered details about Javier's condition from Steve, all while you fought back tears and waves of anxiety. Your mind raced with thoughts of Javier in a hospital bed, a victim of violence that felt far too close to home.

As you listened to Connie, she assured you that he was receiving medical care and in the process of recovery. However, the news of him being shot lingered in your thoughts, and a mixture of emotions flooded your senses—fear, anger, and an overwhelming desire to be by  his side.

Why do things like this have to happen to us? Can't we just be happy, like any other couple? Is this the price of dating a man with his profession? To look over my shoulder every time I go out, to pray for him to return home alive.

"I need to go to the hospital," you declared, a newfound determination replacing the initial shock.

The wait for Steve, since he refused to let you drive in the mental condition you were in, felt like an eternity, each passing moment amplifying your worry.

The knock on your door finally came, and you gathered your things and the ones you took for Javi—clean clothes and personal stuff—rushing to the door.

"I'll call later," you said to Connie, who obviously had to stay with Olivia. She wished you the best as she watched you open the door.

But it wasn't Steve who was standing outside.

A gun was pointed right at your face as a hand grabbed you by the neck to push you back inside. He looked different, years older in a matter of months since you last saw him. But those eyes, full of anger and frustration, were something you could recognize anywhere.

"I've got you, fuckin' bitch" Diego snapped, his voice filled with rage.

As he gripped you against the wall, the force making you stumble. The door slammed shut behind him, cutting off any escape.

"Why are you here?" you managed to choke out, trying to steady yourself.

He glared at you, the gun still trained on your trembling form. "You think you could just leave and forget about everything?"

"I don't want any trouble," you pleaded, your mind racing for a way out of this dangerous encounter.

Diego's laughter was bitter, devoid of any warmth. "You don't get to walk away, not after what you did."

"I didn't do anything," you insisted, your voice shaking. The air felt thick with tension, each moment stretching like an eternity.

Diego's expression twisted into a sinister sneer. "You took everything from me."

As the weight of his words sank in, realization dawned upon you. Diego was blaming you for the turmoil in his life, and his anger was palpable.

You tried to process the situation and plan your next move when suddenly, he turned his head to the living room and spotted Connie, paralyzed with fear, clinging to her daughter's delicate body.

It was evident that he had thought that you would be alone, and a witness was now a problem. He took you to his body, an arm around your neck as he pointed the gun towards Connie. Both of you gasped with surprise and fear as your friend tried to protect her daughter with her own body.

"NO, NO," you shouted, panic creeping up through your system, "Wait, don't hurt them!" Fear gripped you, but you maintained composure. "Diego, please, we can talk about this. There's no need for violence," you pleaded, the urgency in your voice belying your attempt at calmness.

His laughter echoed through the room, devoid of any warmth. "Talk? You think talking will fix this mess? You took everything from me, and now you'll pay."

The moment he unlocked the gun, you felt a heavy pang in your stomach. Connie started to cry, and you were shaking so much that your jaw hurt.

"Please," you begged, taking him by the arm, pulling him to the door, "You're here for me, let them alone, please..."

"If you call the police, I'll come back and kill your daughter, do you understand?" he said to Connie in Spanish, but she managed to comprehend and nodded.

You felt relief the moment he stopped pointing at them, but your heart raced harder as he forced you to the door.

"Walk, bitch," he muttered, this time pointing the gun at the back of your head, so you didn't have any other choice than to follow his orders.

He took you outside the building and into a car where two other men were waiting for him. He climbed into the car next to you and made you cuff yourself and wear a mask on your head as the car disappeared into the night.

NEXT CHAPTER

[that-one-thespian]

The Mages Were Missing

(There's still an hour left in my VERY good friend @crash-bump-bring-the-whump's birthday so I'm NOT late! This is the first of several writes in response to this incredible piece)

Izan hadn’t answered her texts. Mariano hadn’t come over after his shift like he always did. Laredo had missed a stream. Manuel didn’t come to the date that Fletcher was so excited for. Individual incidents, happening too quickly to be coincidence, made even more suspicious when Wren looked into Dimitri and realized there had been no activity on his social media. No matter how bad it was, he always posted a picture of his hideous dog in various outfits every day. 

The mages were missing. 

Tracking them down took too long. Way too long. Wren pored over security camera footage of their last known locations. The coffee shop, convenience stores, laundromats, she filtered through their cameras, finding nothing. Hours of footage. Nothing. Blind spots, erased footage, convenient glitches in the security systems. She needed a new tactic.

Police reports. Fire department logs. Dimitri was aggressive above all else, there would be an arson report, a burning building, a noise complaint, something.

After hours of searching for clues, she finally found a report. A burning hedge, near Dimitri’s apartment. 9:27 AM. Going back to her security footage, she scrubbed to that timestamp for the convenience store closest to the address. Blind spot. Someone knew she would be looking. There was only one person that clever, that surgical, and who had a bone to pick with each one of the war mages. She tried to keep tabs on him, but she could usually only narrow it down to the city he was in.

Luis was back.

Not for long, now that Wren was on the hunt. 

She scoured car rental agencies, setting her software to scan highway footage for similar cars to the ones just barely in her field of vision in the security footage, searching the previous footage for more images of the car to narrow things down. Her coffee drained from its mug. Her fingers flew across the keyboard. 

On her sixth hour of searching, she found his newest alias: Juan Herrero. John Smith, really? Beneath the anxiety and steely determination, she let herself feel a flash of derision. Finally, finally, she found the rental cabin under his name, booked at a steal because the owners were remodeling the basement. 

Wren whistled, loud enough to fill the clinic, and grabbed the car keys.

It was time to get their mages back. 

~

Wren stood at the back of the group, checking her tablet as Fletcher worked at the lock on the cabin's front door. The comms were working, but she couldn't guarantee there wouldn't be some sort of device to jam their signals.

Archer stood directly behind Fletcher, looking murderous. He always did, when Luis was involved. "Luis is crafty. We can't let him separate us. We-"

Several things happened in the same instant.

Click.

"I got it!"

Fletcher pushed open the door.

Fletcher yelped.

Fletcher was gone.

"Fletch-" Archer reached for him, but his solid metal hand closed over empty air. The team was left staring into a dark foyer, listening to the fading footsteps echoing off the walls.

Archer cursed under his breath. "It's a trap." He ran inside without another word, his expression somehow even more murderous. "Elana-"

"Here!" Elana thundered after him into the dark, leaving only Jewel and Wren on the doorstep.

"So much for don't get separated." Jewel looked hesitantly at Wren. "We should find the mages, while we know Luis is... occupied."

Wren nodded, pressing forward into the darkness.

~

Frozen hinges reluctantly yielded, screeching as Wren braced her back against the door and forced it open. She had to cover her face at the rush of cold, blinking against it.

Fluorescent lights flickered above them, dimly illuminating bleached hair and red, blistered, frost-crusted palms. 

Dimitri laid there on the floor, unmoving.

Jewel rushed into the freezer, cupping his cheek with one hand and putting two fingers at his neck with the other. “I’ve got a pulse. Help me get him up, we need to get him outside."

He wasn’t even shivering anymore. Even from the doorway, Wren could see the scorch marks on his hands. He must have been trying to keep warm using his magic alone, without any focus or gloves to protect him. 

When she grabbed his shoulder to lift him up, Wren startled. Dimitri’s eyes were open, locked on hers with the exhausted, terrified focus of someone who expected to be left behind.

“R… ru-run.”

Wren felt a chill run down her spine.

“We know it’s Luis. Archer and Elana are on him. We’re going to get you out of here, just hang on.” Jewel wrapped her jacket around Dimitri’s shoulders.

“C-care…ful.” Dimitri’s voice was hoarse, strained. Each syllable scraped past his lips like the hinges Wren had forced to move against their will. “Said… hid- hidden.”

“I can find them.” Jewel’s voice was level as she helped him to a sitting position. That was how they found Dimitri in the first place- Jewel had nearly collapsed from the force of the despair when they got close enough.

Wren slid his arm around her shoulders, flinching from the frozen clothes against her neck. It took too long to get him outside, to drape a blanket over him and give him a water bottle that he clutched to his chest. Every second was another second where Archer and Elana and Fletcher faced down Luis.

They still had four war mages to find.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Jump Then Fall - Part 2

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc “Vanessa Morales”

Word Count: 5100+

Rating: M for mature - 18+ only!

Warnings: Please be aware there is an 11 year age gap. Mature themes and some canon mentioned. Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: This one doesn’t have any Javier, but I promise the rest of them will! When the story starts, Vanessa is 19 and Javier is 30.

**Shoutout to @vanemando15 for listening and bouncing ideas from me, for holding my hand, and for her guidance with being a Latina herself. Without her, this wouldn’t even be a thing, just another line on my WIP spreadsheet. And also to my husband, who is also Latino and answered any questions I had (along with taking me to Colombia back in 2014). And to @wyn-n-tonic, who listened to my rambles and insecurities about writing an oc in first person.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

Jump Then Fall Masterlist

General Masterlist

Javier Peña Masterlist

<<Part 1<<

The drive back to Corpus Christi was uneventful, although my thoughts were anything but. Memories of the night before kept flashing through my mind, the way he touched me, made me feel, the way his nose just barely skirted across my skin, the way he nipped at my chin. The care he gave me and how he took his time when he found out I was inexperienced, rather than running away. There was much more to Javier Peña than what was on the surface, one quick glance into his deep brown eyes was enough to convince me of that. Which made me sad, considering I’d never see him again. 

I blink and I’m in the driveway, putting the car into park. I have no memory of the drive here, which is slightly terrifying. But before I can think any more on that, my mother comes running out of the house, taking my face in her hands and saying a quick prayer in Spanish to bless my safe return before kissing me on both cheeks. It’s then she looks over my shoulder and realizes no one else is in the car with me.

“Did you drive alone, mija?”

Time to lie. “No. I dropped off some people just past Laredo.”

Her face relaxes. “Oh good. I’m glad you made friends.” She claps her hands together. “Come! Tell us all about your trip while you help me with dinner.”

I tell my parents all about my time in Mexico, how I not only taught English but helped to build the church and the school house, how I made some friends and how others got called to another mission.

“The university wants to talk to me tomorrow and talk about the summer. To see if they should continue the program.”

My dad smiles at me. “We are so proud of you, mi niña. Setting such a good example to others.”

“Speaking of good examples…Miguel is still single.”

“Mami!” I blush, heat rising up my cheeks at the mention of Miguel. She had been trying to get us together for years, but neither of us had feelings beyond friendship. 

She points at me. “Miguel es un buen muchacho [Miguel is a good boy]. When will you see that and go on a date with him? I want nietos already.”

I groan. “Mami! I’m not ready for kids right now.”

She looks at me, waving her hand. “No entiendo Vanessa [I don’t understand] . By your age, I was already engaged to your father.”

—-

My life settled back into its normal monotonous routine: class, job, home, sleep. Repeat. I never realized exactly how boring my life was until I had spent the summer in Mexico. 

More like, until I spent the night with Javier.

I wonder where he is now. Is he still on his business trip? It’s been just over a month since we had our…meet. I got the feeling he was going to be gone for a while and that he either wouldn’t or couldn’t talk about it. Maybe he’s a spy? I chuckle at the thought. Wherever he is, I hope he’s doing well. 

Based on my report, the university decides to repeat the program the following summer with new teachers and asks me to give a little seminar on what I did, what to expect, what to pack, and everything that I think they should know. I have to admit, it was nerve wracking getting up in front of everyone. I felt nauseous all day thinking about getting on that stage and talking. But everyone was interested and asked great questions, immediately putting me at ease. My professors thanked me for everything and said they’d be in touch with me about possibly returning the next summer. I’d never really thought about going back, but the thought is definitely tempting. 

And maybe I can stop in Laredo on the way back. No, Vanessa. It was a one time thing. You’re probably making up the connection you felt. There’s no way he felt anything for you. 

—-

A couple months later, my mom calls me down to the kitchen where she’s gathering up her purse, a paper list in her hand. 

“Do you need anything from the store, mija?” 

“I don’t think so. Just….maybe no pork? I can’t stand the smell of it now.”

My mom chuckles. “Mexico really changed you. Carnitas used to be your favorite.”

Even just the thought of pork, which I hadn’t had the entire time I was in Mexico, made my stomach churn. 

“I guess I just got used to not eating it a few times a week.”

She nods and then looks around. Spotting no one, she leans in close to me and nearly whispers. “Do you need more…lady things?”

I furrow my eyebrows together. What is she - oh. My mom was always sort of embarrassed by periods, and so, if she had to talk about it, she would always whisper, afraid anyone would hear her talk about something that is experienced by arguably more than half the planet. 

“Uh, no. I don’t think so?”

“You haven’t gotten any more since Mexico. Do you still have some?”

“Uh…let me check.”

I go upstairs and into my bathroom, kneeling to open the under the sink cabinet. I shuffle some things around and grab the boxes of pads I had put back when I returned from Mexico. There’s a bunch left, almost as if I hadn’t used any since I got back.

Had I used any since I got back?

I close the doors and head back to my mom, telling her I was still good with pads. She looks slightly relieved at not having to traverse the feminine hygiene isle, giving me a small smile and squeezing my shoulder. 

“When I get back, I’ll need help with dinner.”

I don’t mind helping with dinner, as I do like to eat, but I wish she’d stop asking me about Miguel. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Miguel was now dating Maria - they just weren’t telling anyone yet. I wasn’t supposed to know either, but I went into the church storeroom one day to grab a few extra Bibles and I saw them making out. Which immediately made me think of Javier, the place between my thighs tingling at the mere thought of his name. I wish I knew more about him- no, Vanessa. Don’t go down that path any more.

“...you invite Miguel over after church?”

“Hhmm?” I hadn’t been listening to anything my mom had been saying.

“Miguel. Why don’t we invite him to our after church lunch?”

“Uh..no. Miguel won’t want to do that.”

She looks at me out of the corner of her eye as she continues chopping.. “And why not? You are a beautiful girl, smart. You would have good babies-”

“He’s already with Maria, mom.”

She stops chopping and looks at me. “Maria?”

“Delgado.”

“Ay. That girl is bad news.”

“Miguel seems to like her.”

“Ah, well..men can be blind.”

—-

“We’re going to be late, mija! Hurry up!”

“Just a minute!” I yell, desperately trying to zip up my church dress. 

I wear this one often but it had been a few weeks and for some reason, the zipper won’t budge. I let out a puff of air in frustration, yanking the dress back down my body. Now that the dress is off my body, I look at the zipper, seeing no fabric stuck in it. I try to zip it closed and it glides easily up. 

“Oh sure. Now you want to zip.”

I toss it on my bed, turning back towards my closet when I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I stand there in my bra and underwear, looking at my body. Did I…did I gain weight? I haven’t changed my eating. If anything, I’ve been eating less. I turn to the side, my hands gliding over the skin on my lower stomach. I can see a small pooch there and I grunt in confusion. How did I gain weight if I’ve been avoiding so much food? 

“Vanessa!”

I poke my head out of my door. “I’m not feeling well, mom. I’m going to stay home.”

She pauses. “You shouldn’t miss church.”

“I don’t want to get everyone sick.”

She pauses again and I swear I can hear her nod. “Ok. We will be back after lunch. I’ll bring you back some soup.”

“Thanks, mom.”

I hear the door downstairs close, the car pulling out of the driveway and driving off down the road. I wait about 15 minutes before I pull on whatever clothes I can find that fit me, grabbing my wallet and keys before getting in my car. I have to get some stomach medicine or something. I head to the pharmacy, thankful that the people I know who work here are all at church. I don’t want anyone to see me buying medicine to stop me throwing up my insides. I scan the rows of bottles for the ones for upset stomach. I grab one, flipping the box over for directions, my lips moving with the words as I read them.

“.....as long as symptoms persist. If symptoms worsen or do not improve after 3 days, call your doctor right away. Do not use if pregnant or breastfeeding. May cause interactions with certain medications…”

I freeze, my eyes rewinding the words I just read.

“Do not use if pregnant or breastfeeding….pregnant…pregnant…”

My brain kicks into high gear, and I stare at the bottle, not really seeing it. The boxes of pads that were sitting unused from my time in Mexico still sit unused under my sink. My aversion to foods I normally loved. The fact I can only keep about half of my food down. The weight gain despite this. My lower belly…my hand instinctively comes up to my belly, placing my hand there for a moment as panic starts to set in.

Could I be…no. Javier used a condom. He showed me as he did it. That’s supposed to prevent…prevent…

I grip the bottle of medicine in my hand, knuckles going white. Slowly, I turn and head out of the isle, looking for the one with the women’s products. I turn it down, grateful that it’s empty. I stand in front of the pads, pretending I’m looking for some while my eyes scan down the rows of pregnancy tests. It’s all overwhelming and I can feel the panic rising rapidly in my body. I quickly grab a box at random, hiding it under my arm as I make my way up to the register. No one is in line and I don’t know the cashier. I place the bottle of medicine and the pregnancy test on the counter, looking around nervously for anyone I may know. If the cashier thought anything of my purchase, they didn’t show it, scanning the items and quickly placing them in a bag as I handed them cash. 

When I get home, I run upstairs, locking my bathroom door behind me just in case my parents come back early. My parents. What am I going to say to them? One step at a time, Vanessa. You may just have some weird stomach thing. I take a breath and open the bag, setting the bottle down on the counter and pulling out the small box of pregnancy tests. I throw up once more before opening the box and pulling out the directions, reading them several times through tear blurred vision. I somehow manage to pee on the stick, setting it aside and looking at my watch to check the time. 

This has got to be the slowest 3 minutes of my life. 

When I check my watch and it’s finally time, I take a deep breath before…taking another deep breath. And then I flip the test over. 2 bright pink lines stare up at me and I hold the stick against the directions comparing them. Double lines means pregnant. Pregnant. I’m pregnant. 

I drop the stick, sinking down to the floor as I put my back against the wall. How am I pregnant? I only ever had sex with Javier and that was only one time. And he wore one of those condoms. Aren’t they supposed to stop people from having babies? Wait, if I’ve been pregnant since then, I’m like 3 months along. I should be making a doctor’s appointment. What doctor can I go to that doesn’t know my parents? 

My parents.

There’s no way I’m going to be able to hide a baby from them. How do I explain it? Hey mom, dad. I met a stranger in Laredo and we had sex and now I’m pregnant even though he wore a condom. 

What do I do?

—--

I spent the next 2 weeks trying to figure out what I was going to do. I wasn’t sure how my parents would react, considering they did want grandkids. But there’s no way they’re going to approve of this baby. In case of the worst, I start gathering up little things here and there - a few random pieces of clothes, the toiletry kit I had brought to Mexico, some little trinkets. I managed to sneak them down to my car, leaving them in the trunk in case I had to leave quickly. I really hope it didn’t come to that. But when I could no longer zip up my favorite pair of pants, I knew I had to tell them. 

We all sit down to dinner, mom passing out plates and filling my papá’s plate with a large portion of food. Once everyone is settled, and grace is said, I clear my throat, my mom glancing up at me as she picks up her fork. 

“I uh…I have to tell you something.”

My papá spears some food on his fork and takes a bite, chewing as he turns his head towards me, a questioning look on his face. 

“Did that Miguel finally get rid of Maria?” My mom asks.

“What? No. I don’t know? That’s not-”

“I knew that girl was trouble. Always showing off in choir. You know, her mom said she got some fancy scholarship to a music school, but here she is, still here. I wonder why-”

“Mami. I need to say something.”

“-why she’s still here? She probably stayed for that boy. Maybe it’s good-”

“MAMI!”

“-good that Miguel didn’t ask Vanessa out. Maybe he’s no good-”

“I’m pregnant.”

Silence. You could hear the grass growing outside it’s so quiet. My parents stare at me, the fork halfway to my papá’s open mouth. 

“What?” My mom asks.

I hesitate a moment. “I’m…I’m pregnant.”

“That’s not funny, Vanessa. Don’t you joke about something like this. You know I don’t like the humor you young people think is funny.”

I look down at my plate before looking back at her. “I’m not…I’m not joking.”

Silence again. No movement. But I can feel the disappointment, the anger building in them.

“I’m about…3 months? I think?”

Still silence.

“I only just found out.” I cast my eyes down, looking at my plate of untouched food and realize that half of it I actually want to eat, while the other half makes me want to run to the bathroom. 

“Salga [Get out].” He says it quietly, but his tone has layers of anger, hurt, and disappointment all trying to bubble out.

I look up, surprised that it’s my papi saying it. 

“What?”

“Salga. Yo no te quiero en esta casa. [Get out. You are no longer welcome in this house].”

“But papi-”

“Don’t! Largarte!  Now.”

I glance at my mom, who has tears in her eyes. She gives me a look of utter disgust and looks away from me, showing her support of her husband’s decision. 

I stand, pushing the chair away from the table. “Can I just grab some thing-”

“You should have thought of that before you opened yourself up for a man. What were you thinking? You are no longer a daughter of mine!”

My papi’s words slice through me like butter, stabbing me so hard that tears start to fall before I even know they’re there. I walk to the front door, pausing only to put on my shoes before getting in my car and driving about a block before I sit at the stop sign. I knew deep down this may be their reaction, which is why I started packing my trunk. But it still hurts. I need my parents right now, but…

Where do I go?

I turn left, driving a few blocks to knock on my friend Ximena’s door. But instead of my friend, her mom comes to the door, a stern look on her face as she shoos me away, telling me I’m not welcome in their home. I’m met with the same reaction at the next 3 places I go and I realize that my parents must have called everyone we knew to tell them not to let me in, that I had done something so terrible. I doubt they told anyone the truth, that their only child was unwed, single, and pregnant, but our church community is so strong, they apparently didn’t need more than my parent’s word to kick me out. 

I stop at a little diner across town, a burger actually sounding really good to me. As I eat, I think about what to do next. It’s getting late, and while I could rent a hotel room, I won’t have enough money to do that for very long. I have no friends left in Corpus Christi, that much is clear. So…where do I go? As I eat and let the tears fall, I think about that night, about Javier. And I realize, there’s only one place left for me to go, even if it’s just until I get on my feet. I finish eating, leaving money on the table for the bill and tip, and head out to my car. It’s a 4 hour drive there, which I can’t do in the dead of night. I drive to the highway and find the closest motel, getting a room for the night that I can cry myself to sleep in.

—----

The next day, I start the drive to Laredo, oddly calm considering the situation. I can do this next step - get to Laredo. I’ll ask around for Javier and see if anyone knows where he lives. I don’t expect anything from him, and I’ll tell him as much. But I would appreciate a place to stay while I figure out where to go next. 

After a few bathroom stops, I finally make it to Laredo, finding the bar I had met Javier in that night. It’s not open for a few hours, so I take that time to have some lunch and a short nap in my car, waking to the sound of the main door closing. I walk up to it and push it open, walking inside. The bartender is cleaning down the bar, getting things set up for the rush in a few hours.

“Excuse me?”

He turns to me, wiping out the glass in his hand.  “Yes, ma’am?”

“I’m looking for a Javier Peña? He’s about this tall-”

The bartender chuckles. “I know Javier. Haven’t seen him in a bit though.”

“Oh.”

The bartender seems to sense my despair and he sets the now clean glass down. “Look, his dad lives on a farm just outside of town. I’ll give you the address and maybe he can tell you where Javier is.” He scribbles down an address on a napkin and hands it to me, giving me a small smile. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

—-

I pull up to the Peña farm about 40 minutes later, after the bartender had given me some general directions. It’s not a large farm but it’s not small either, and I think I can see a river in the far distance. I park in front of the farmhouse and get out, smoothing out my dress before walking to the front door and knocking. At first, no one answers. But then I hear clanging coming from the barn around back, so I head in that direction, poking my head just inside the barn door.

“Excuse me?”

The man in the barn stops hammering and turns quickly to look at me, hammer slightly raised in defense. He’s older, a nearly all white mustache with matching hair poking out from under a white cowboy hat, glasses poised on the edge of his nose. His eyes remind me of Javier’s and I realize this must be his dad. 

“You must have taken a wrong turn, señorita. Town is several miles that way.” He points and I give him a small smile.

“Actually…are you señor Peña?”

He studies me for a moment. “Depends. Which Peña are you looking for?”

“Javier’s papá?”

He looks at me, trying to figure out why I would be here talking to him. “He’s not here.”

“Not back from his business trip?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

“Any idea when he will be back?

“No. Probably not anytime soon.”

I nod, my face falling slightly. 

“Can I help you with anything?”

“I uh…I’m not sure. Maybe this was a stupid idea.”

I turn to leave, willing the tears that had been building in my eyes to not fall.

“Wait.”

I stop, looking up at the older Peña. His eyes glance down towards my belly, where I had unconsciously placed my hand. A look of realization washes over him and his kind eyes meet mine, an odd expression in them.

“How old are you?”

“N..nineteen.”

He swears, glancing up at the ceiling before back at me, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “He’s the father?”

I nod, looking down at the dirt covered floor.

“You’re sure?”

I blus, not able to meet his gaze. “He’s the only one I..I’ve ever…”

He puts his hand up. “Ok ok. I understand.” He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “Are you hungry?”

That was not what I was expecting. “Oh I…I don’t expect anything.”

He smiles and it reaches his eyes, instantly calming me. “You’re not an inconvenience, you’re the mother of my only grandchild. Come.”

He waves his hand for me to follow him, placing the hammer down on his workbench before we head to the main house. It’s a 2 story farm house, sparsley decorated with furniture that he most likely got when Javier was born. It’s worn but well loved and I instantly feel a sense of safety, despite never having been here. He leads me into the kitchen and has me sit at the little island bar while he makes me a simple sandwich, asking me what I’m not eating and what is safe. He slides me a glass or orange juice, saying it was fresh squeezed and good for the vitamin c. I take it, thanking him while I try not to inhale the food, not having eaten in several hours. Chucho clears his throat and I swallow the last bite of my sandwich, looking at him as I take a sip of the juice.

“Did you tell him?”

I set the glass down, spinning it counterclockwise for a moment. “No. I only found out a couple of weeks ago.”

He nods. “How far along?”

“Around 3 and a half months?”

“Have you been to a doctor?”

I shake my head. “Like I said, I only found out a couple weeks ago and my parents kicked me out when they found out so…”

He swears under his breath. “We need to get you to a doctor.”

“I don’t have the money for that. I don’t have the money for anything. Oh God, I don’t have money! How am I going to…to…”

Tears start flowing out of nowhere, uncontrollable as I sob at this man’s table. Chucho comes to stand next to me, turning my body to hug me as he lets me sob into his shirt. He makes calming sounds, telling me everything will be fine. That I’m not alone. 

“But…but I am alone, Chucho.”

“Not anymore. You have me.”

I look up at him, blinking away the last of my tears. “Oh no, I couldn’t-”

“What did I say earlier? You’re the mother of my only grandchild. Can I assume you have nowhere to stay?”

“I’m ok in my car.”

He gives me a stern look. “That won’t do. You’ll take one of the rooms here.”

I shake my head, starting to wave him off. “Oh, I couldn’t-”

“You can. What you can’t do is live in your car pregnant and with a baby.”

He feels fatherly, warm and safe and I can feel the tears coming on again so I nod, accepting the help that I desperately need. “Th-thank you. I promise I’ll earn my keep.”

He shakes his head. “There’s no need-”

“Please. Let me at least clean and cook? My mami taught me how and I can make really good food.”

“It’s not necessary-”

“Please let me do this?”

He studies me for several long moments. “Alright. But when you’re near your time, you’re going to rest, understand?”

I nod, smiling slightly. “Thank you, Chucho.” I take another sip of my juice while he takes a swig of his beer, the sound of the ticking clock loud in the silence of the house.

“You said Javier won’t be back anytime soon. Can I ask what he does?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

I blush. “Oh, well we uh..didn’t really…he didn’t-”

“Ay I don’t need to know,” he chuckles. “But Javier is in Colombia, working hard to take down Pablo Escobar.”

I spit out my juice, apologizing profusely as I try to dry it up with a paper towel. “He’s what?”

“Yeah. DEA. So when I said it won’t be anytime soon…”

“Was he happy to go?”

“He definitely saw it as a promotion, a chance to go and prove himself.”

I knew about Pablo Escobar of course, but to hear that my Javier- no, not my Javier. Just Javier - was trying to catch him? That is impressive.

“He doesn’t call often, but next time he does, you can tell him about the baby-”

“No!”

Chucho looks at me, straightening himself up and squaring his shoulders. “No?”

I take a breath. “I know I only spent a….little time with Javier, but he seems like the guy to try and be honorable?” Chucho shrugs and nods. “Then I can’t tell him.”

“Why?”

“Because if I do, he’ll come home. And then he will resent us. I can take it, but the baby? I can’t do that to my child. He will resent us both for bringing him home from this huge career move. We are only 2 people. The entire world needs him. Plus, what if....what if he doesn't come back?”

Chucho’s eyes are hard as he processes what I’ve said. “You’re right about Javi, but I still think you should tell him. He deserves to know.”

“I’ll tell him. I will. When he catches Escobar.”

“That could be years, Vanessa.”

I nod. “I know. And I take full responsibility.”

“That you are.”

—----

Chucho holds true to his word, inviting me to live in his home. I cook and clean for him and, even though he grumbles about it, I see him coming to dinner on time more and more, being able to rest after a long day on the farm as opposed to cleaning. As we eat, he tells me more about Javier, his childhood and the man he grew to become. What I don’t tell Chucho is that with every story, even the bad ones, I fall a little harder for his son.

He also works out a deal with a doctor in town so I can get OB care until I can get insurance. One day, he comes home from church with a crib and several boxes of baby stuff, saying the women in his church donated their old baby things to me (he’d told them I was his new live in maid, a young girl who was recently single. Not an exact lie, but they all assumed the man either left me or I was widowed, which made them open their hearts a little more to me). 

He made me stop working so hard around 33 weeks, saying I should’ve stopped sooner. He insists I rest and relax, feed into my nesting instinct. He had cleaned out one of the other rooms to make nursery, putting the crib in there but pulling out an old bassinet from the attic, telling me it was Javier’s. 

Chucho is there holding my hand when I go into labor and is there when my son is born. Javier Alexander Morales Peña came screaming into the world, just as every bit as stubborn as his dad, according to Chucho anyway. Tears well up in his eyes when he holds Alex for the first time, telling him how handsome and strong he is. That he’s truly a Peña man. 

When Alex turns 2, Chucho demands that I go back to school, as I was only a year away from getting my degree in education. He watches Alex at night while I go to school and, a year later, I graduate with my degree, landing a job that coming school year at Laredo Elementary, which gives Alex, who will be 4 soon after, a slot in their pre-k program. 

As Alex grows, he asks about his dad. I decided to tell him the truth - that his dad is a hero, trying to catch a very bad man in another country and that he can’t come back until he does. That the world won’t be safe until the bad man is caught. Alex accepts this and makes up stories about his dad, flying around with a cape and fighting off bad guys to give us all a better world. 

One summer afternoon a couple years later, Alex had just gone off to camp for a couple of weeks. He’s 6 now and “a big boy”, so he begged to go off to a science camp with his friends for a few weeks. It was hard to not have him around, but I knew he was having a great time. I’m elbow deep in sink water, washing the pans from breakfast when the phone rings. Chucho picks it up upstairs after a couple rings and when he doesn’t call for me, I know it’s for him. I finish with the last pan, setting it off to side, sliding my rubber gloves off and reaching for the drying towel. I pick up the pan, drying it off when I hear Chucho coming downstairs. He walks into the kitchen and stands there for a moment watching me.

“Chucho? You ok?”

“I uh…I’m going to the airport.”

“Chucho…Are you finally taking a vacation?”

He gives me a small smile before it leaves his face. “Actually, I’m going to pick up Javier.”

—----

>>Part 3>>

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics

[bluestar22x]

New Year's Promise

Summary: You and Javier spend New Year's Day alone at your Uncle's lake house in upstate New York. After an intimate night together he surprises you with a question.

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader (The same from my Sweet Summer Series - there is a mention of the reader having hair)

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 2,150(ish)

Warnings: Smut (on the slightly rougher side), fluff, fowl language

Author’s Note: This can easily be read as a regular oneshot if you haven't read the series yet/don't want to. Back in a secluded place with a Pedro character in winter. This one won't be as dramatic as Snowed In. I wasn't planning on writing any follow-ups to Javier and Virgin!Reader's romance but I thought they'd fit this fic idea I had due to a gif I saw on here. Didn't want to write a new reader character paired up with Javi. I like them too much.

xxx

"Javi."

The short form of your boyfriend's name tumbled from your mouth with a sharp gasp as he surged into you deep, powerfully, enough to jolt you forward into your pillow, and you scrambled for purchase with your hands, extending your arms up over your head to brace yourself against the wall just beyond the bed you were laying belly down in.

He was above you, blankets draped over his naked waist, well-toned arms caging you in on either side as he took you from behind, intimately close, his head tucked into the crook of your neck as he sucked on your pulse point.

"Hermosa," he moaned as he plunged into you again, setting a harsh, rhythmic pace, the kind that would build you up perfectly.

Despite the freezing temperatures outside and the chill seeping into the room from its poorly insulated window, you both broke out in a sweat from shared body heat and passion, your breaths coming out hot and heavy.

You were far from quiet as his movements stoked the fire within you, as he pressed against that sweet spot that made you see stars. He felt so good inside you, rutting against you as he was, that your heart pounded in your chest.

A part of you wished you could see his face contort with pleasure as he got lost in you, but the sounds he was making, the words of praise he panted against your skin, were enough alone to drive you crazy, ensuring your fall before his.

You reached up behind you to clutch the back of his head, arching towards him as your body seized up, and you unraveled underneath him with a breathless cry, convulsing around him so tightly that he had to still his hips for a moment before he could finish chasing his own orgasm with sloppy, rough strokes, gritting out your name as he finally pulsed inside you.

You both flopped onto your backs after, basking in the pleasant haze of euphoria that followed, trying to slow your labored breathing.

Once you'd both calmed Javier rolled over onto his side and kissed your shoulder briefly, then your neck, and finally your chin before nuzzling his nose against your ear.

"I love you," he murmured, nibbling on it.

You giggled at the sensation. "I love you too, Javi." You heart fluttered at the joy that sprung up in your chest over how easily he'd said those words, remembering a time when he'd been afraid to admit it and had felt undeserving of being loved in return.

A lot had changed in the seven months since you'd met him in a restaurant in Laredo, two lonely strangers with no idea of what was to come, how much you would end up meaning to each other.

You couldn't imagine going back to before. Hadn't realized before him just how much you truly had craved the love and affection you'd gotten from him since.

He hesitantly pulled away from you to dispose of the condom he'd been wearing and began slipping back on his night clothes as you walked over to the bathroom to clean yourself up. His body quaked when it was completely exposed to the brisk night air inside the oil heated lake house you were staying in.

"I don't know how you convinced me this would be a nice getaway," he grumbled as he finished putting on his clothes, turned off the lamp on the night stand, and jumped back into bed, teeth clacking. "I'm too thin blooded for this."

You barked out a laugh. "Upstate New York too much for you, Peña?"

"In the winter it is."

"Now you know how I felt last summer," you told him. "I'm not sure I'll ever get used to the heat in Texas."

You'd lived most of your life in New York, only moving to Texas for a job, and to gain some independence from your family.

"Cold's worst," he argued as he shuddered involuntarily.

"At least with the cold you can bundle up," you retorted as you joined him back in bed, tugging the sheets up to your neck. "Can't strip naked in public."

"Damn shame," Javier commented and you shoved him without much force, a smile playing on your lips. Javier was insatiable at times, his mind in the depths of a gutter more often than not. To be fair though, since he'd entered your life you'd spent a lot of time daydreaming about him and what he was capable of doing to you, so you were right there with him.

You lifted his right arm and huddled into his side, laying your head on his chest. "Thanks for braving the cold for me," you said eventually. "I know it meant a lot to my mom we could both visit for the family New Year's party, especially since she and dad couldn't fly out to Laredo for Christmas."

"It was nice of your uncle to let us stay at his lake house," Javier relented. "Even if it's drafty."

You yawned and he glanced down at you with an amused expression. "Am I boring you?"

"It's almost three am Javi," you answered pointedly, letting your eyelids fall. "We've gotten zero sleep since our flight early yesterday morning, we rang in the new year with my whole family, including my super loud younger cousin, and you just outdid yourself. I'm exhausted, not bored. I'm not used to going a whole twenty four hours without sleep, mister I-used-to-be-an-agent-hopped-up-on-caffeine."

"Outdid myself, huh?" You could hear the grin in his voice.

You couldn't help but smile too. Of course he'd caught that. "Don't let it go to your head. It was my idea."

"I loved it too," he told you, kissing your temple as his right hand rubbed your arm. "Loved being able to kiss you while I took you like that."

As hot as him saying that was, you only managed to hum your agreement before you nodded off.

x

It was nearly ten in the morning when you roused from a deep sleep, eyes blinking furiously, trying to adjust to the bright light of the first day of the new year shining through the bedroom window.

Javier was still sound asleep beside you, a soft snore emitting from him on occasion. You loved seeing him this way, so at peace, so unlike he'd been before he'd listened to you and gotten some therapy to learn to cope with and move on from the trauma that had been tacked onto him in Colombia, in ways that no longer involved nicotine and excessive drinking.

You very carefully untangled yourself from his limbs and left him in bed, heading for the kitchen as soon as you'd taken some time in the bathroom.

Usually you'd head for the nearest bag of coffee first thing in the morning, but that day you opted for hot chocolate, not having had it since you moved out to Texas. It was part of the stock your uncle kept at the lake house but you were sure he'd be okay with you stealing a packet or two.

After boiling some water and mixing a whole packet of chocolate powder with it in a reindeer mug (that had to have been bought by your aunt) you bundled up in your winter jacket, scarf, and gloves and headed out onto the porch.

While you didn't particularly love the cold, you had a high tolerance for it, and there was something about being by a lake, surrounded by wilderness, that made you want to step outside under the morning sun and breathe in the crisp, fresh air, even though it threatened to take your breath away.

So that's what you did, with your mug of hot chocolate in both your hands, the heat seeping through your thin gloves, keeping your fingers warm.

You were quiet, listening to your surroundings. There were no sounds to hear, except the occasional call of a wintering bird and the rare rustle of wind.

Javier found you still out on the porch ten minutes later, drinking from an almost empty mug.

You heard him rather than saw him approaching, the sliding door scraping along its rails as he exited the house. His boots crunched the snow that had been frozen to the porch overnight and then stopped as he slipped his arms around your middle and buried his nose in your hair. You smiled and leaned back into his solid form.

"Morning," you greeted him, shutting your eyes to focus on the feeling of being encased by him.

"Mornin'," he returned, before he shivered. "How long have you been standing out here?"

"Ten minutes."

"You're not cold?" There was disbelief in Javier's voice and you chuckled.

"It gets way colder than this," you informed him. "There's hardly any wind. And I had some hot chocolate with me."

"What are you doing out here anyway?" he inquired, confused, glancing around at the snow covered evergreens surrounding you, except close by the lake.

"Listening to the silence," you replied with a sigh. "There's something about the silence that comes with snow covered land. It's nice."

Javier nodded, and you knew even though he didn't have much experience with snow, he did understand the part about liking the resulting muted landscape. For a long time he hadn't known quiet.

"I wonder how Chucho and Trix are doing," you mused.

Javier's father had offered to dog sit while you were in New York, that way Trix wouldn't have to endure a long flight in a cramped crate for a trip that would only last a few days.

"She probably ended up sleeping in his bed, on his feet, knowing pops," Javier guessed. "He's got a soft spot for dogs."

You didn't bring up the fact that he had a soft spot for them too. Since you and Trix had moved into the Peña household in November the dog had gained a pound in weight, and you were pretty sure it was from Javier sneaking her scraps of table food, even though he denied it.

"Is there a packet of hot chocolate for me?" Javier asked after a few beats of complete silence.

"Of course."

He pulled away from you but lingered on the porch when he noticed you weren't headed for the door with him. "Come, cariño, I have something for you inside."

You perked up at that and spun around to face him, curious. "Like a gift?"

His eyebrows furrowed. "Of sorts." He gestured for you to lead the way and you entered back the house.

After you kicked off your boots you scanned the open floor living room and kitchen areas, in search of a gift wrapped box. "Where is it?"

You didn't have even an inkling of what was about to happen. One second Javier was standing just behind you, and the next you heard one of his knees hit the ground.

You twisted around to see him in the classic proposal pose, one you'd never thought you'd see him in for some reason. You'd always thought he'd go a less traditional way of leading up to the question. But you liked this. Him earnestly kneeling before you, big brown eyes vulnerable and honest. You barely paid attention to the ring he was holding up to you. "Will you - ?"

"Of course!" you shouted, so excited you didn't let him finish. You tugged him back up to his feet and kissed him hard. He laughed happily after, his chest rumbling with the sound, and he reached out to glide the modest but delightfully gorgeous diamond ring onto your ring finger. You recognized it and your heart skipped. "Is this your mother's ring?"

He nodded. "Pops gave it to me when I told him that I intended to propose to you while we were here. I wanted to do it when we were alone and I wanted to do it when you'd least expect it."

"Well, well done on both accounts," you said, smiling, touched that he and Chucho would trust you with one of the few items they had left to remind them of his mother. "I'd have never guessed you would do it on our way to mix up a mug of hot chocolate, still dressed in our pajamas."

He cringed a little at your summary. "Was that okay?"

"More than okay," you assured him, flinging your arms over his shoulders. "Now I have a question for you."

He hummed. "What's that?"

"Do you still want hot chocolate, or do you want to head back to the bedroom?" you asked like you didn't already know what he was going to say.

He beamed at you and grabbed your chin so he could guide your face towards his and claim your mouth hungerly, his mustache gently scraping your upper lip. "Bedroom, now."

"I thought so, fiancé."

You led the way to the room and you both crawled under the bed sheets once more to celebrate.

xxx

Tagged: @angelofsmalldeath-codeine​ @yoursoulsunbreakable @harriedandharassed

xxx

Sweet Summer Series

Main Masterlist

xxx

[transit-fag]

Will deep South Texas ever get passenger train service?

The Corridor ID program and the FRA have not looked at building or reviving any routes south of San Antonio. There is always a chance the Interamerican from Laredo to Chicago gets revived but it seems unlikely

[not---meat]

Paradise: Chapter 10: You're All Alone

Pairing: Javier Peña x McKenzie Martel

Rating: A - Adult

Warnings: Angst

Summary: Javier receives a call.

Note: This is an AU set in between season 2 and season 3 of Narcos sometime in the 90's. I apologize in advance for any historical inaccuracies! -- We are moving on to season 3 of Narcos so be prepared!

MASTERLIST --- PARADISE MASTERLIST

The first few days in Laredo were the hardest for him. Going back to working on the ranch alongside his father was hard to adapt to, especially after everything that he had gone through. There was so little thought put into what he was doing, allowing his mind to wander all throughout the day. Chucho would whistle while he worked, giving Javier something that he could try to focus on aside from the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach.

It all came to a head while they were building a fence. Chucho has stopped for a moment, taking a break to take a sip from his water and wipe sweat from his face. Javier just kept on working, trying to ignore the way his father eyes him as he worked.

Chucho knew. Chucho always knew when there was something on Javiers mind. It was aggravating at times. Javi didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to admit to the ache in his soul.

"Go see her." Chucho spoke, folding his handkerchief up and tucking it into his pocket, "You won't know unless you see her."

Javier just frowned and stuck his shovel into the ground. He walked over to the cooler and grabbed his water, chugging half of it down before wiping his brow. "She doesn't want to see me." Javier spoke, letting out a refreshed breath. He tightened the lid on his water bottle and chucked it aside. "She's moved on. It's not my problem anymore."

"You love her?" Chucho questioned, an eyebrow raised as he took another sip from his water. Javier just stayed silent and grabbed his shovel again, returning back to his work. "Then you should go and see her."

"It doesn't change anything if I do or I don't. I hurt her. Again and again I hurt her. She's better off without. I'm done fighting." Javier glanced over at Chucho as he worked, shaking his head. "I appreciated the updates but obviously I don't need them anymore. She's fine."

Chucho let out a breath, close to a mocking laugh but not quite, "She's not fine." He replied, going back to his work. "You and I both know that girl too well to know that she is definitely not fine."

Javier didn't reply. He continued working throughout the rest of the day in silence, battling with himself. On one hand he did want to go and see her… On the other he didn't want it to blow up in his face.

He left her again. He left after promising that he wouldn't. After promising that he would be there for her he cut all contact. In his defense as far as he knew she hadn't tried to get in touch with him. That made it a little better in his mind.

Then again he never should have done those things to her in the first place. Javier knew the error of his actions and he regretted them more than anything else. More than he regretted the actions of Los Pepes, more than he regretted getting Carrillo killed. Those were blunders, sure, actions that hurt people, but they inevitably led to the downfall of Escobar and the Cali Cartel.

Losing McKenzie? There was no good to come out of that. A lifetime of loving her, cherishing her, and it was all gone because of his own selfish actions. Even though he told himself that they weren't selfish at all, that he was saving her life by cutting her out, that she was better off without him, there was no use. Javier was lying to himself. Nothing bad had happened to Chucho while he was away despite them talking somewhat frequently.

He thought of her. He thought of her every moment, with everything that he did. When he showered his mind was on her, focusing on the scent of her wer skin. The frazzled coils of her hair when they got drenched. When he laid in bed he thought of her smile, the way that the corners of her eyes crinkled when she was genuinely happy. He thought of her laugh, her touch, the way she leaned into him when she fell into a fit of giggles.

It had been years… Almost a decade since he had seen her like that and yet he could pull it into his mind. Late at night when he was alone with his thoughts, all of them being her.

There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he loved her. There wasn't a single moment in time where he didn't imagine what their lives could have been. Happy. Yet he found out too late. His feelings evolving once he left. It wasn't until he had his hand buried into another womans hair, her curls reminding him of the way Kenzi's did when he held her close. When he had buried his face into her he had been reminded of Kenzi's sweet embrace. He could have sworn he smelled the sweet scent of her shampoo. Yet when he opened his eyes it wasn't her.

That was when he knew. He knew that it had always been her, it would always be her. It was then that he knew he would have to do everything in his power to get back to her.

Then he went and fucked it all up. Now forced to relish in the memories no matter how deeply they cut him. No matter how many times he told himself that she had moved on. That she was happy.

At the edge of sleep, the green in her eyes dancing about his mind as he fell into his slumber, that's when the phone rang. As always, Chucho answered it, letting Javier roll over to try and fall into his slumber in peace.

When he heard Chuchos voice saying her name, though, the very thought of falling asleep slipped from his mind. He sprinted to the kitchen, tugging a shirt on over his head.

Somehow Javier knew. He knew that she needed him before even hearing her tearful voice. There was no other reason in his mind why she would call so late. Why she would call Chucho instead of a friend or her dad or her… girlfriend.

He knew she needed him. He knew she sought out the comfort that he once gave her, her only outlet now being Chucho.

Once the phone was in his hands, ripped from Chucho's grasp without a word or a second thought. He didn't wait for her to speak. He could hear her sniffles through the speaker.

"I'm on my way."

Without another word he grabbed his jacket and darted out the door, letting the phone dangle from the cord. He ran to Chuchos truck, pulling his shoes on as he went. Slamming the door as he turned the key into the ignition.

He promised he would always be there for her.

He was going to be there for her.

NEXT CHAPTER

[thelensofyashunews]

LEON BRIDGES RELEASES FOURTH STUDIO ALBUM LEON

GRAMMY® Award-winning Texas recording artist, songwriter, and performer Leon Bridges shares his fourth studio album Leon via Columbia Records. 

Starting the week with an intimate underplay three-night residency at Austin’s legendary Continental Club, Leon treated the audiences to brand new songs from the Leon album as well as beloved favorites.

Says Leon on the album, “Leon is the genre.”

The album’s release follows the first single “Peaceful Place,” fan track “Laredo” and the Fallon-debuted “That’s What I Love.” Recorded and produced by Ian Fitchuk (Kacey Musgraves, Maggie Rogers) at El Desierto on the outskirts of Mexico City with co-production from Daniel Tashian (Kacey Musgraves) in Nashville, Leon features 13 handcrafted tracks spotlighting Leon’s signature storytelling and organic genre alchemy. Leon unfolds as his most poignant, powerful, and personal body of work to date as the man himself takes you through the streets he knows best, the things he holds dearest, and the memories of the people and place that shaped him. Six years in the making, this record is unmistakably Leon. Check out the full tracklisting below. Leon builds on the legacy of Leon Bridges' three previous albums, Gold-Diggers Sound, Good Thing, and Coming Home, all of which received GRAMMY nominations for Best R&B Album.

Bookended appropriately with Texas dates, Leon launches Leon Bridges: The Leon Tour this weekend at ACL Festival in Austin. The tour will then make stops in less traveled markets in Texas before heading across North America to cities such as Chicago, Toronto, New York, Nashville and more before wrapping with a special SOLD OUT homecoming show at the Dickies Arena in Fort Worth, Leon’s biggest headline show to date. Leon is excited to share that $1 from every ticket sold will go directly to his charity, The Big Good. Hermanos Gutiérrez will support Leon on all dates, with Charley Crockett serving as direct support in Fort Worth. All shows are on sale now with many shows already sold out. For more information on Leon Bridges: The Leon Tour, please visit www.leonbridges.com/tour. Full routing below.

[creedslove]

that’s exactly Javier Peña ten years later accepting a medal for his service, finally happy and smiling for having found peace and stability in his life after he’s found you. Now if you don’t mind I’ll go back in my delulu state goodbye

No no no no no bestie, we're gonna be delululu TOGETHER!!!

That's chief Javier Peña, retired from the government duty, former DEA agent and current chief of police in Laredo Tx. He's still a man of the law, but now all he needs to worry about is eventually arrest the town's drunk for disturbing the peace, bust some teenagers carrying weed and shut down sketchy Halloween parties with too much alcohol and loud music after midnight.

This Javi, is a happy man, he enjoys his work, it's easygoing, fun, and not dangerous; he doesn't have to worry about closing his eyes at night and seeing dead bodies, raped women, and all the horrors those cartels could do to civilians. He still misses the thrill so he goes hunting once in a while but maybe he's going too soft, but after all the years having to handle so much violence, he doesn't see the point in killing animals just for fun; Javi has become more of a fishing-and-then-letting-the-fish-go kind of guy, but eventually there are so thieves and even some tourists who think they can get by doing shit in his town, and then, Javi shows exactly what's like to deal with a former DEA agent who was able to take down the infamous Pablo Escobar

Javi lives in a beautiful ranch house, it's just a few miles away from his dad's ranch and he helped build his home with his own hands, and he's proud of that, he felt the need to leave the nest and find a beautiful home when he met the love of his life: you

Of course you knew who he was, everyone in Laredo knew who Javier Peña was, but unlike other people, you didn't kiss his butt because of Escobar, but you also didn't whisper behind his back about all the rumors concerning death and women from Colombia; or even worse, reliving that old story about him leaving Lorraine at the altar. She was over it and so was Javi, and yet, people still talked about it. You just treated him with kindness and sympathy, because you were kind and friendly with everyone and not just because he was *the* chief of police now, and then he was sold

PTSD was still pretty bad at night, even if he tried hiding it from you when you both started dating and eventually sleeping together, but you talked to him and convinced him to see a therapist, even if he didn't feel comfortable in going to one in Laredo because of all the gossip, you advised him to go to another nearby city and he decided to give it a go; as the sessions progressed, he felt the urge of telling you all about what happened in Colombia, all about the deaths, the job, the difficulties, the traumas and the hookers. He didn't want to, he was afraid you would be too grossed out to continue with him, but he also had the need to tell you, to show you he wasn't that man anymore, you could see the fear in his eyes, the worry and the fact he held his breath as you absorbed everything he'd told you, and then you placed your hand on his cheek and thanked him for his honesty, for his trust and for opening up, then you leaned towards him and pecked his lips, showing you that feeling; you reminded him he wasn't that man anymore, he didn't have to fear being alone because he didn't deserve that, he deserved happiness, he deserved a home and he deserved a family he could rely on. His lonely hooker nights were long gone, because he had you now and you would make sure to support him

Eventually his nightmares stopped and he was able to sleep peacefully through the night, without having to down whiskey before bed, all he needed was to become drunk in you

So when the DEA called and offered him a medal for his work, he got ready in his tight jeans because he could still pull it off in his perfect body, his silky red shirt and got you by his side, loving how beautiful you looked in your dress, the way you were glowing just a few weeks after you both found out your first baby Peña was on the way, when he held his medal, he looked straight at you because even if he didn't even know you back in the day that made him earn that medal, you were his present and his future and he knew he couldn't have done it without you ❤️

[all-the-things-2020]

No Better Place - Chapter 20

Summary: Monica has an idea and Cassidy gets a huge shock.

Warnings: description of panic attack

Word count: 3500

When Javi submitted a request for additional funding to add an equine therapy component to his department’s program, he hadn’t expected much. To his surprise, the city had responded within a week with a promise of at least $5,000 a year and the possibility of more. It turned out that the police chief’s wife and the mayor’s niece were both involved in a riding group that performed at local rodeos and parades, raising money for charity. Both of them were enthusiastic about adding a horse centered program to the city’s slate, and had applied subtle pressure to the chief and the mayor.

Monica worked with Mary Sue to draw up a proposal. Things progressed nicely as spring approached, until the day Monica appeared in Javi’s office, a frown on her face. “Bad news, boss,” she said.

“What’s up?” Javi asked.

“Mary Sue just got an offer she can’t refuse,” she said, sinking into the chair. Her belly was getting bigger and she took every opportunity to sit. “A very rich family in Dallas -- I’m talking J.R. Ewing rich -- has a child with several disabilities. They’ve made substantial donations to the Children’s Hospital in Dallas and they heard about the work Mary Sue is doing from someone who had been visiting the hospital here. Long story short, they’ve offered her a ranch -- like a five thousand acre ranch -- and a budget of $50,000 a year to move her organization up there so she can work with their kid. Of course, they’ll be able to write most of it off on their taxes, but still, it’s an amazing opportunity for her and they’ve even offered to help her husband find a job in Dallas. She couldn’t say no.”

“Where does that put us?” Javi asked, leaning back in his chair. He’d just gotten a tentative promise to kick an additional thousand dollars into the program budget from a local car dealer, provided he got a mention in all promotional materials and a small ad in the Blue Ridge brochures.

“Square one,” Monica admitted. “She did say the owner of the property she’s leasing would be amenable to transferring her lease with all the existing agreements to another nonprofit.”

“Which doesn’t do us any good, since she’s the only equine nonprofit in the area,” Javi sighed.

Monica shifted in her chair. “Well, maybe we could get someone from elsewhere to move up here,” she said carefully. “Like maybe someone from Laredo?”

“First of all, she won’t answer my calls. Second of all, she’s not a charity,” Javi said curtly.

“She’s not a charity right now,” Monica said. “But Rob’s got several nonprofits as clients. The paperwork isn’t that difficult, and if she registers as a nonprofit, she can get donations to help with expenses.”

Javi stood up. “She won’t listen to me,” he said. “She won’t even talk to me or my dad.” He ran a hand through his hair. He knew from what Chucho had mentioned that things were not going well financially for Cassidy, and this could really help her out. If she was willing to hear him out.

“How about if Rob and I get everything together, figure out exactly what she’d need to register with the IRS and then we figure out some way to get her to listen to our pitch?” Monica said. “If we have to, we can drive down there and ambush her at home.” She paused. “Look, Javi, I know you still love her. That’s abundantly clear. If there’s even the slightest chance this will get you two talking again … if the distance was the issue, then this solves that problem. She’d be a fifteen, twenty minute drive from your apartment. Hell, you could move out there with her and commute to work, no sweat.”

Javi stared out the window, which didn’t have much of a view, just an alley that allowed access for delivery trucks and the brick wall of the adjacent building. “It’s worth a shot,” he said quietly. “But if she says no, that’s it. It’s done.”

“Got it, boss,” Monica said. “I’m gonna go call Rob.”

******************************************************************************

Cassidy heaved a bag of chicken feed onto the stack on the end cap display. It was selling well, and she’d had to replenish the stack once already today. She didn’t mind working at the feed store. It smelled amazing and she knew that every hour she worked earned her a bale of hay or a bag of pellets. Gary gave her a 15% employee discount, and often threw in samples the feed company salesmen left on their rounds. Jenny was back from her maternity leave, so Cassidy wasn’t getting as many hours, but Jenny was glad to have backup in case she needed to stay home with the baby, and it was still well worth her while to keep the job. Not to mention it was a thousand times more interesting than her mind numbing job bagging at the Cash-n-Carry.

The bell tinkled above the door and she glanced up to see who was coming into the store. “Damn it,” she muttered as she saw it was Chucho. Gary was at the bank and she was alone so there was no way she could avoid him.

“Hey, Mr. Pena,” she said, “what can I do for you?”

“Well, first, you can call me Chucho,” he said, leaning casually against the counter. “We’re still neighbors after all. And second, I have a favor to ask you. Which might turn into a job for you, so hear me out.”

Cassidy stood behind the counter, arms crossed over her chest. “Go ahead,” she said warily.

“A friend of mine bought a horse. Supposed to be some really well bred stock horse from a fancy ranch in Oklahoma. Turns out he’s well bred all right, but he’s been running the range for three years and the son of a bitch is wild as a pronghorn. They had to lasso him and shoot him full of tranquilizers to get him on the trailer and my friend isn’t having any luck taming him down. They gelded him but that just knocked him out for half a day and he’s still breathing fire. Santos is ready to cut his losses and get rid of the crazy cabron but I told him I’d talk to you about trying your hand at him. If you can’t train him, he’ll end up at the slaughterhouse or getting shot for hurting someone.”

“And what’s in it for me?” Cassidy asked.

“Santos will pay training fees if you’re willing to take him on,” Chucho said. “I told him you have a good setup. There’s a transport leaving his town this week, and he can get the horse on it. They’ll drop him off at my place, since I have a cattle chute next to the main road. It’s one of those big horse vans and they can’t handle the narrower roads. I figure we can either wrestle him into my trailer to get him to your place, or pony him over like you did with Buster after he got loose. Anyway, if you’re willing to take a look at him, they’ll drop him off sometime Saturday morning. I’ll call you when he gets there and you can come over and see what you think. Santos said if you can’t take him on, I should put him in the next auction.”

Cassidy closed her eyes for a moment. The last thing she needed right now was another horse, especially a crazy one, but if this Santos was willing to pay training fees, and it would save a horse from slaughter, how could she say no? “Okay,” she said. “But just to look at the horse, Chucho. That’s all.”

Chucho held up his hands. “That’s all I’m asking for, Cassidy,” he said. “I’m just trying to help out a friend. And a horse. And a neighbor.” He held out his hand and she shook it. “Good, I’ll call you when the monster arrives.” He tipped his hat to her and walked out of the shop, the bell tinkling in his wake.

************************************************************************

Cassidy pulled her truck up under a tree in front of Chucho’s house. There was already an assortment of vehicles in the driveway, including the truck Javi had driven and a faded green minivan she’d never seen before.

Luis waved at her from where he was tinkering with the engine on Chucho’s ancient Gator. “El jefe’s in the house,” he called out. “Said to tell you to go on in and get a cup of coffee. He’s got a few phone calls to make, then he’ll take you to see el diablo.” He laughed and shook his head.

Cassidy went up the steps to the front door. She knew Chucho would tell her to come in the kitchen door, but it felt more proper to enter through the front of the house like a guest. “Hello?” she called out as she stepped inside the house. “Chucho?”

“In the kitchen,” he called out. “Come on in and help yourself to coffee. I’ve got one more call to make.”

She walked through the living room and into the kitchen. She froze as soon as she reached the doorway. “What the hell?” she stammered. Javi was sitting at the table next to Chucho.

“Now don’t get mad, Cassidy,” Chucho said. “I’m sorry I lied to you but I needed to get you over here. Javi needs to talk to you and you won’t answer the phone, so we had to do this.”

Javi was fiddling with his coffee cup, clearly nervous. “Sit down,” he said quietly.

“I’ll stand,” she replied, although she did step further into the kitchen and take the cup that Chucho held out. She didn’t want coffee but it helped to have something to do with her hands.

“Look, Cassidy,” Javi began but her attention was diverted when someone else walked into the room. She was tall, with long hair and a curvaceous figure, one that Cassidy recognized. And she was even curvier now, clearly several months pregnant.

Cassidy dropped the cup of coffee, not even pausing as it shattered against the tile floor. She ran blindly for the back door, hardly able to breathe, her legs rubbery and weak. “Cassidy!” Chucho and Javi both called but she forged ahead. She reached the back porch before her legs gave out and she collapsed into a ball on the floorboards, sobbing and whimpering. No wonder Javi wanted to talk to her. He wanted to rub it in her face. He’d not only found another woman, he was having a baby with her. They were probably getting married.

Her throat constricted until she began to panic at her inability to swallow. She felt a hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles, and once she’d calmed down marginally, she glanced over to see the woman kneeling beside her. “It’s okay, Cassidy,” she said calmly. “You’re having a panic attack. You’re going to be okay.”

“Get away from me,” she hissed. “Don’t you dare touch me!” She crumpled even further onto the floor. The last thing she wanted was Javi’s new girlfriend consoling her.

“Hey.” She heard Javi kneel down on her other side. “Don’t talk to her like that.” He laid a hesitant hand on her back, and she shook him off.

“You don’t touch me either,” she said. “And I’ll talk to that bitch anyway I want to.”

“I know you’re upset, Cass,” Javi said evenly, “but that doesn’t give you the right to talk to Monica that way. She’s just trying to help.”

“Cassidy, why are you so mad at me?” Monica asked carefully. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough,” Cassidy managed to spit out.

“Now, just because I’m Javier’s assistant doesn’t mean I’ll automatically take his side,” Monica went on. “Why don’t you sit up and when you’ve calmed down a bit we can start over again.”

“What the hell?” Another man had joined them on the porch. “I leave for five minutes and you knock Javi’s girl on the ground? Your methods are getting weirder and weirder, Monica.”

“Shut up, Rob,” Monica said. “Cassidy, this asshole is my husband Roberto. Just ignore him.”

“Wait. What? Your husband?” Cassidy was incredibly confused. “Oh, my god, this is worse than I thought.”

Monica helped her sit up. “I don’t understand,” she said. Javi, Chucho and Rob were all kneeling around her, looking just as confused as she was.

“You and Javi … and your husband … whose baby is it?” Cassidy managed to stammer.

“Um, Rob’s of course,” Monica said. “Wait, did you think me and Javi ..?” She started to laugh, then Rob joined in.

“I saw you,” Cassidy insisted. “I saw you in Javi’s apartment. He was smoking on the balcony. You gave him a drink and rubbed his back and took him inside.”

Javi’s brow was furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Rob’s eyes went wide. “Wait, wait, I think I know what happened. Was this right before you left Javi the message breaking up with him?” Cassidy nodded. Rob looked smug. “The night after Andre died. Monica and I took dinner over to Javi’s place so we could make sure he was all right. And he went out on the balcony to smoke and I told Monica to take him a glass of whiskey and she did. And you were there?”

Cassidy could hardly think straight but she nodded. “I was in my truck,” she said flatly. “I’d driven up to talk to Javi and I saw him and I saw her and … I left.” She started crying and folded up, her face pressed against her knees.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Javi said as he slid his arm around her shoulders. “If you’d just talked to me.”

She shook her head. “I didn’t want to,” she said between sobs. “I thought you were cheating on me. You hadn’t been down for weeks, I was already upset because of …” She stopped herself before she blurted out something she didn’t want the others to hear. “I was upset.”

Javi pulled her against him and let her cry. She heard Chucho, Monica, and Rob go back inside. Javi didn’t say anything, he just held her. Once she was out of tears, he gently kissed her forehead. “Do you think you can come inside and hear what we have to say now?”

“We?” she stammered.

“Me and Monica and Rob,” he said softly. “We came down here with a business proposal for you. Well, for you and me. I mean, for you and my department.” He shook his head. “Just come inside and listen.” He helped her to her feet and wiped the lingering tears from her face with his thumbs. “Just hear us out and we’ll go from there.”

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll listen.”

******************************************************************************

They talked for several hours. Javi let Monica and Rob do most of the talking, content just to sit next to Cassidy. She listened attentively and asked a million questions, especially as Rob explained the requirements for forming a nonprofit. “You’ll need a mission statement, which isn’t that hard,” Rob said. “And a board of directors, but that shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll be happy to act as your financial officer, at least to start, and I’m sure we can get one of the High Society Cowgirls on board, which will give you some clout with the city. Maybe even the mayor’s niece but at least one of her friends. They’re all bored housewives looking for good deeds to do while they play with their horses.”

At one point, Chucho slid a plate of turkey sandwiches and a pitcher of sweet tea onto the table. Javi poured a glass for Cassidy and she thanked him shyly, letting her fingers brush against his as she took it from him.

Finally, Monica sat back. “So, do you want to go for it? I know it’s a huge undertaking, and we’re under a bit of a time constraint so we don’t lose funding, but it’s definitely doable.”

Cassidy looked down at the table, chewing lightly on her lower lip. After a long moment, she nodded. “Yeah, let’s do it,” she said.

Rob pumped his fist in the air, which prompted Monica to shake her head and call him a dork. Rob just shrugged. “And now,” he said, pushing back from the table, “I think it’s time for these two,” -- he pointed at Javi and Cassidy -- “to have a nice long talk and patch things up. Because I for one am sick and tired of Javi moping around all the time.” He made a shooing motion with his hands. “Go on, get out of here, go find somewhere to canoodle.”

“Canoodle, really?” Monica said. “Who are you, my grandpa?”

Javi stood up and pulled Cassidy’s chair out for her. As she got up, he couldn’t help letting his hand rest against her back for a second as he steered her toward the door. He let her walk through first and simply followed. She led him away from the house, toward her truck, which was parked in the shade.

“You probably think I’m an idiot,” she said as she unlatched the tailgate and laid it down. She hopped up to sit in the truck bed, her feet dangling over the end of the tailgate. Javi joined her.

“Not at all,” he said. “But I am curious about what triggered the whole thing. You said you were upset about something, and that made you drive to San Antonio to talk to me.” He left it at that, hoping she’d share with him but willing to let it go if she wasn’t ready.

She reached over and took his hand, sliding her fingers between his. It felt right, and Javi relaxed just a bit. She told him about the pregnancy test, her decision, and how she’d been fantasizing about things before she pulled into the parking lot and saw him and Monica on the balcony.

“I probably should have charged up there and confronted you,” she admitted. “But I was just so shattered. I … I was afraid that instead of telling you off and dumping your sorry ass, I’d end up forgiving you.” She played with his fingers. “I overreacted.”

“Not really,” Javi said, leaning back on one elbow while she kept his other hand in her lap. “I’m sure it looked really bad. And I don’t have a stellar record of fidelity.” He huffed. “I probably would have thought the same thing if I was you.”

Cassidy dropped his hand and leaned back next to him, propped up on both elbows. She idly kicked her feet in the air. “I’m sorry I doubted you,” she said softly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make more of an effort,” Javi said.

She shook her head. “No, you made way more of an effort than I did. I didn’t want to give up anything. I wanted my independence, and you, at the same time, and that wasn’t fair to you.”

“Were you really going to rent out your place and move in with me?” he asked.

She smiled. “Yeah. I really was.” She reached over and ruffled his hair. “You need a trim.”

He frowned. Monica had said the same thing last week. Then she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. “I missed you,” she whispered.

“I missed you, too,” he said. He shifted so he was in a more comfortable position and kissed her back, just a bit more deeply. He felt her sigh and relax against him.

“Are we good?” he asked after a long moment. “I mean, I know you want to go ahead with the move to San Antonio, starting up the nonprofit and all that, but you and me … are we okay?”

“We’re okay,” she said. “We’re good.”

The truck bed wasn’t the most comfortable place for a make out session, but they didn’t care. It was cool in the shade and the twittering of the birds overhead was soothing, so the bits of hay that worked their way inside their clothes and the hard steel ridges digging into their backs and sides weren’t much of a deterrent.

During a moment of rest, Javi smoothed her hair back from her face. “Were you really disappointed that you weren’t pregnant?” he murmured.

She closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she said, as color filled her cheeks. “I was.” She opened her eyes. “I thought I’d be relieved but … I wanted a future with you, Javi. I still do.”

“We’ll have it,” he said. “I promise.”