#Lani & Jerry

[metal-sludge]

COVER REVIEW #5 | Suffragette City

ORIGINAL: David Bowie, featured in the album The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1972)

COVER: Warrant, featured in the album Under the Influence (2001)

[kalbusyt]

Anyone try this flavor yet?

[blessedwithpolls]

Part 1

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Human Tornado (1976)

Dolemite is back and he’s… better than before? worse than before? Hard to say. One thing’s for sure, The Human Tornado is not a good movie but it sure is fun to watch. With great quotable lines, cartoon characters for villains, a self-deprecating sense of humour and plenty of technical flubs for you to poke fun at, it’s continuously enjoyable and always in new ways.

After Dolemite (Rudy Ray Moore) is caught in bed with the racist sheriff’s wife, he is framed for her murder. On the run with his friends, they head to California to meet Queen Bee (Lady Reed), a succesful club/brother owner. The local mob boss, Joe Cavaletti (Herb Graham) isn’t too happy about his diminishing profits and has kidnapped two of her girls. Dolemite and his impossible charm & virility is just what she needs to find out where they’re held.

You might consider this a better film than “Dolemite” because the script is better organized than its predecessor's. Moore’s trademark rhyming standup is still here, but instead of the plot coming to a screeching halt in a parking lot so he can impress people who just happen to be there, we get a scene setting up his newfound success as a comedian before the plot kicks off. His patented expressions and speech mannerisms are peppered throughout as ways for him to express his disdain for others (you rat-soup eatin’ mother f#cker!) or his surprise (b*tch, are you for real?!) writing them down does not do them justice. His delivery is hilarious. Something must be said about the film being perfectly aware of what it is. On one occasion, Moore/Dolemite breaks the fourth wall and re-plays one of the film’s “better” stunts to prove to us that he really did do that jump. The racist Sheriff on his tail is so racist and so over-the-top he might as well be an R-rated Yosemite Sam. It’s hard not to laugh at him or at the scene where we learn why Dolemite is called The Human Tornado.

Everything that made Dolemite a bad, but enjoyable picture is here too. The fight choreography is awful. Kicks and punches obviously miss by a mile and scenes are clearly sped up to make them seem more dynamic. Anyone with eyes can tell Moore could never, ever defeat the enemies the way he does in this film - martial arts training or not. As for the writing, "amateurish" is a generous term. When Dolemite and his buddies get to California, the film wastes time by having them wander from one place to another, looking for Queen Bee. It’s almost as if the clubs they visit are only there because they helped pay for this shoddy production. It makes you wonder how much of what you see was made “bad” on purpose, which makes it delightful. There's a psychedelic sex scene during the second half whose setup is ludicrous. I’ve seen more realistic scenarios in XXX-rated films. You think it’s just a gag but the follow-up is trying to be artsy in such a weird way it kind of makes you want to see the whole thing again, just to determine how you should feel about it.

There’s A LOT of nudity throughout, which might make some viewers uncomfortable. I say if you can’t be good, be sleazy. It makes up for the lack of over-the-top and shoddily-created gore I usually like to see at this level of filmmaking. Some of the intentional gags get tiresome pretty quick, however. Dolemite doing fake screams while revving himself up for a brawl is smile-worthy - at best - the first time around. Whenever he does it again afterward, you start reaching for the tomatoes.

I must also speak to you of another scene, one of my favourites because it unintentionally sends the wrong message. Dolemite and his (mostly useless) buddies are hitchhicking to California. They realize no one in America will stop their car to pick up this many Black men at once. It’s a harsh truth. So what do they do? All of them but one hide in the bushes and when a car stops, they pull out a gun, hold the driver hostage and force their way in the car. Guys! THIS is the reason why people don’t stop their cars to pick up Black hitchhickers!

With stereotypes aplenty, too many bare breasts to count, action scenes that’ll have you howling, a ridiculous plot and genuine enthusiasm from people who really wanted to make the best, most entertaining film they could, The Human Tornado is a great movie to sit down and watch at with friends. It’s what Moore would’ve wanted and he probably wouldn't even mind that you're laughing at the film, rather than with it. (April 9, 2021)

[greatshell-rider]

43. licking your fingers while eating Cheetos (sensory prompts)

“Lani,” Cindy said flatly. “We’re waiting.”

“That checks out,” Lani muttered, steps slowing as her attention trained on digging the last nub of baked chip out from the corner of the crinkly bag. “As I’m almost done.” Abandoning the effort, she stopped completely to tip her head back and dump the last of cheesy dust into her mouth. A chip caught roughly on the bottom of her throat and she coughed. “Motherfucker.”

“Lani,” Cindy repeated, and there was actual strain in zir voice this time.

She looked up, orange-stained fingers stuck in her mouth, and took in the scene. Ahead, Cindy stood underneath the emergency portcullis-style door, preventing the massive slab of iron from slamming down with zir back and arms. Zir body-growth was persisting, but Lani detected tiny tremors in Cindy’s calves and shoulders, zir mouth squeezed firmly into a flat line. Ze couldn’t hold it much longer.

“Lani!” Jerry screamed from behind her.

Lani swiveled in place, teeth idly scraping at the stubborn mush clinging to the pads of her fingers as she studied this scene. Farther down the ramp, her brother fended off their pursuers. His sword dripped with purple goo, and it was splashed all up his clothes, too. His back to her, he fell back slowly step by step, struggling to keep the horde from slipping past him and attacking Lani or Cindy. It was a good thing the bridge was fairly narrow, otherwise the snarling demons would have easily overwhelmed him by now.

“Get your fucking ass through the gate,” he yelled over his shoulder again, and paid for it by a demon scoring a slash of its claws up his thigh. That wasn’t pretty. Jerry nearly buckled, the demons swarming and nearly disappearing him from view, then he surged out with a roar, sword swinging and slicing and punching and bashing and whirling in a blur too quick for the unacquainted eye. He regained his footing and even pressed the slime back a little in his ferocity. That was even less pretty!

“I’m going, jeez!” Lani turned again, and strolled up the arched bridge. “Everyone’s so pushy today.“ Clicking her tongue, she aimed a kick at a small bunny-sized demon scrabbling up over the side. Her boot slammed into its torso, puncturing its skin and half-exploding its guts, before punting it over the side. Its corpse (more pile of goo at this point) fell into the lagoon below with hardly a plop. But more of its kind followed its example, bypassing the screaming human-with-a-sword at the head of the bridge in favor of crawling beneath and flowing rapidly in growing numbers towards their two other targets.

Lani reached the door, but rather than duck underneath it, she swung around to stand beside Cindy. Zir knees were bent lower now, both arms shaking, teeth clenched with sweat trickling down zir brow. Demons massed towards them.

“Quite the sight,” Lani garbled due to the finger in her mouth, digging a nail at mush jammed in her molars.

“Contract addendum 7.14,” Cindy gritted out. “You owe me the best back massage in all the ’scapes after this.”

Molars and fingers polished clean at last, Lani wiped her hand down her jacket, then interlocked her fingers and pushed her hands away, stretching her arms with a satisfying CRACK.  “You got it.” Then she snapped her fingers and a stream of murky water shot up from the lagoon. It swirled a brief circle over the heads of the demons almost upon them, then Lani pointed down, and the pack had time only to open their equivalents of mouths to scream their fury and terror before being efficiently drowned and swept off the bridge.

“Hurry it up, Jerry,” she called cheerfully out to him. She made the lagoon water wiggle up and down like a serpent, then sketched out an obscene image. “I’ve been ready for ages.”

“FUCK YOU.” Jerry beat off the demon savaging his shoulder with the hilt of his sword, then turned and sprinted for the door. The demon horde howled, throwing themselves after him, stretching out claws that just missed his ankles.

As he shot past them, Lani stepped back and casually rebuffed the flood of demons with her water, and Cindy threw the door up and off zir shoulders, staggering back just before the solid iron gate crashed down. It narrowly missed zir toes. Immediately Cindy shrunk, body sagging as it returned to its usual size and mass, and ze sank down to the ground, huddling over zir knees as ze took deep, shuddering breaths in and out. Lani nudged zir boot with her own, and ze gave her a shaky thumbs-up.

“Take a minute,” Lani advised, and a tickle at the back of her mind reminded she hadn’t released the lagoon water. She did so and put that part of her brain back to work on a piece of a crossword she hadn’t puzzled out yet. Maybe now, during this free time, she could crack it—

Jerry, panting, bloodied in both red and violet, was glaring at her, as if there was nothing better to do.

“We need to prepare for siege,” she informed him primly, a touch reprimanding. “The local city mayor demon won’t relent.”

“I know,” he barked. “There’s at least an hour until. For now, what we need to do is talk—about your behavior out there.”

Lani paused her crossword to level an astonished look at her brother. Dear, terrible, gory at the moment, betraying brother. How could he be so accusatory? “It was a good bag of chips,” she said in disbelief.

Jerry took a breath to argue.

Lani grinned, pulling up the results of her survey to the city folk who she’d offered the chips to and asked their opinion. She had the statistics grouped in various categories, from demographics to time of day of sampling to how much of the bag they’d consumed. Already, she had a five-point thesis bared on her tongue, just begging to be loosed. Now this was a way to pass the time.

The entity of the lagoon stirred in her mind. Is it truly? it asked drily, sounding unimpressed with mortals.

Annoying the fuck out of my brother? Lani sent back, smile curving wider. For an ancient being spanning depths I’ll never comprehend on the same instinctual level, you’re dumb as shit.

The sudden cut-off made Lani stumble. Jerry’s tirade broke off before it could begin, with him blinking at her in confusion as Lani sat abruptly down and leaned her back against a pile of rubble.

“Lani?” he said. “Did a demon get you?” Utterly ignoring how his own various scratches and bites were still untreated.

She sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. “Lagoon broke off the deal.”

A beat. Jerry took a deep breath. “And why?” His voice broke on the word as he strove to sound calm. “Did it decide to do that?”

“Well, I was rude. Called it dumb as shit. And in my defense,” she continued, overriding Jerry’s early objections, “the topic at hand was you.”

That gave him pause. He grimaced. “Why were you talking about me?”

“Does it have a crush on him or something?” Cindy asked.

Lani opened her eyes. “Are you two interested or something?”

“I haven’t even seen the thing,” Jerry protested.

Cindy shrugged one shoulder. “It’s seen us.”

“It doesn’t really see,” Lani explained. “Doesn’t have eyes, right, but from what I could tell through our bond, it can process the information sent through vibrations in its waters, and even beyond the shores a little. Interestingly, scents also come through—”

“It’s smelled us,” Cindy checked, chewing on one of zir tags. “Smelled Jerry.”

“We reek,” Lani confirmed. “Jerry especially—”

“Hey,” he began—

“—But that’s filtered through my own perspective as well. When two minds interact, there’s almost always a confusing tangle to sort through in what is truly your own thoughts, and theirs, which makes a lot of people question, Can there ever be true uncontaminated transference of thoughts? What is a truthful realizing of reality? Can a translation ever—”

With Cindy still chewing, Jerry had walked to an arrowslit in the curtain wall and peered out. “Demons are back,” he announced loudly, cutting Lani off. “And because of someone, we no longer have a wide-scale defense to use against them.”

“Well fine,” Lani snapped, hauling herself to her feet and marching over to her brother. He sidled, but she grabbed him by the scruff and dragged him to a break in the wall, just large enough for someone of a Jerry’s size to accidentally stumble through if they weren’t careful.

He tried to twist out of her grasp in vain. He was tired out from an extended fight with demons, and Lani had just had a tasty snack. “Lani, don’t—”

“If you’re going to complain,” she said, purposefully shoving him through the hole. He yelled as he fell, plunging head-first towards the lagoon. She stuck her head out and yelled after him, “Then fucking do something about it!”

Sploosh.

Dusting off her hands, Lani walked away. Cindy had gotten to zir feet and came over, looking out the hole. “He forgot his sword.”

Lani rolled her eyes. “I did my best with the entity. If he’s so set on trying it his way, I’d suggest he uses his other one.”

Scratching at the door. Before long, the demons would figure out to climb, and get over the top of the wall, or through holes both larger and smaller than Jerry’s.

“Meanwhile,” Cindy said.

“Meanwhile,” Lani grinned. She pulled out another crinkly bag from her pocket and waggled it temptingly at Cindy. “You find us a way up to the tower roof, and we can split this.”

“Mhmm,” ze said. “No.”

Cindy’s response on the survey had been a definitive 0/10 for Cheetos.

[flickynightdarkness]

Waves 1-18 Of My Comfort Characters List

Oggy & Olivia (Oggy & The Cockroaches)

Little Miss Sunshine & Little Miss Shy (Little Misses)

Mr Quiet & Mr. Scatterbrain (Mr Men Show)

Hello Kitty, My Melody & Cinnamoroll (Sanrio)

Jigglypuff, Hypno, Eevee, Pichu, Torchic, Jirachi, Manaphy, Darkrai, Alice, Alicia, Dwebble, Iris & Sylveon (Pokémon)

Atsuover, Rageminer, Dawko, Jaiden Animations, CookieSwirlC, Nicky Tate, WolfyChu, Rosanna Pansino, Ava Ryan (YouTubers)

Holly & Nanny Plum (Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom)

Shaggy (Scooby Doo)

Slinky Dog, Jessie, Trixie & Bonnie (Toy Story)

Kasane Teto, Kagamine Rin & Hatsune Miku (Vocaloids)

Bubble (BFDI)

Cake, X & Winner (BFB + TPOT)

Lightbulb, Paintbrush, Bow & MePad (Inanimate Insanity)

Sonic, Tails, Vector, Chip, Cream, Chao, Orbot, Cubot, Zavok, Zazz & Tails Doll (Sonic The Hedgehog)

Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Rosalina, Boo, Count Bleck & Tippi (Super Mario)

Dum Mee Mee (Shopkins)

Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa & Po (Teletubbies)

Oswald The Lucky Rabbit

Jack Skellington (Nightmare Before Christmas)

XR (Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command)

Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl (Steven Universe)

Giulia (Luca)

Wall-E & EVE (Wall-E)

Sunflower (Plants Vs Zombies)

Scarecrow & Mad Hatter (BTAS)

Scarecrow (TNBA)

Scarecrow (The Brave & The Bold)

Scarecrow (Arkham Asylum)

Scarecrow (Arkham Knight)

Scarecrow (Injustice 2)

Scarecrow & King Shark (Harley Quinn Series)

Scarecrow (Happy Halloween Scooby Doo)

Ragdoll (The Batman Series)

Question (DCAU)

Harley Quinn (MultiVersus)

SpongeBob, Patrick Star, Gary The Snail & Sandy Cheeks (SpongeBob SquarePants)

Moomimtroll, Moominmamma & Snorkmaiden (Moomin Series)

Numbuh 3/Kuki Sanban, Numbuh 5/Abigail Lincoln, Mushi Sanban, Numbuh 9/Maurice, Father/Benedict Wigglestein & Monty Uno/Numbuh 0 (Codename: Kids Next Door)

The Snatcher (A Hat In Time)

Poppet, Jeepers, Shishi, Sleepypaws, Baby Rox, Kissy, Captain Squirk & Dr. Strangeglove (Moshi Monsters)

Needlem0use & Luther Artwright (Needlem0use)

Pinkie Pie, Apple Bloom & Flurry Heart (My Little Pony)

505 & White Hat (Villainous)

Odie (Garfield)

Humf

Lilo, Stitch & Angel (Lilo & Stitch)

Candy Cat & Bunzo Bunny (Poppy Playtime)

F, P & Y (Alphabet Lore)

Rover, Isabelle, Timmy Nook & Tommy Nook (Animal Crossing)

Boo (Monsters Inc)

Orbulon (Warioware)

ENA

Felix & King Candy (Wreck It Ralph)

Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls)

Mio Mao

Edd, Matt, Tom & Tord (Eddsworld)

Tuffy & Tyke (Tom & Jerry)

Roy O'Brien (ROY Series)

Moon Knight (Marvel)

Mama (Cooking Mama)

PukeyHurlC (Grossery Gang)

Toriel, Napstablook, Sans & Papyrus (Undertale)

Jevil (Deltarune)

Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Hex, Tabi, Sunday, Sarvente, Nikusa, Annie, Garcello, Chris, Legacy Annie/Rascal & QT (Friday Night Funkin)

Soft! Boyfriend (FNF: Soft)

Red Guy, Duck Guy, Electracey, Bread Mother & Lesley (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared)

Puss In Boots, Kitty Softpaws, Three Diablos & Perrito (Puss In Boots)

Korekiyo Shinguji (Danganronpa)

Dave Algebra Class

SCP-049/Plague Doctor & SCP-999/Tickle Monster (SCP)

Skid, Pump, Robert, Jaune & Streber (Spooky Month)

Shirousa & Kurousa (Sugar Bunnies)

Bingo & Snorky (Banana Splits)

Dr. Nefarious (Ratchet & Clank)

Grim Reaper (Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy)

Spot The Dog

Harry Hill, Robert Englund, Charles Martinet & Tom Kenny (Celebrities)

Slushi, Cofi & Bezel (Chikn Nuggit)

Foxy, Funtime Freddy & Sun (Five Nights At Freddy's)

Toothless (How To Train Your Dragon)

Gingy (Shrek)

Neo Cortex, Aku Aku, Dingodile, Lani-Loli & Kapuna-Wa (Crash Bandicoot)

Pipsqueak (The Lorax)

Secret History Tails (Mashed)

Lord X Hog & Curse (EXEs)

Majin Sonic

MX (Mario 85)

Eri, Tsuyu Asui & Ms Joke (My Hero Academia)

Suki (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Sonic (Sonic The Hedgehog Movie)

Shuey Rhon Rhon (Beijing 2022 Paralympics Mascot)

Miraitowa & Someity (Tokyo 2020 Olympic Mascots)

Inky (Pac-Man)

Mirabel Madrigal & Pepa Madrigal (Encanto)

Meilin Lee & Abby Park (Turning Red)

Wanda (Fairly Oddparents)

Bender (Futurama)

Rayman

N (Murder Drones)

EteleD & Corrupt Mii (Wii Deleted You)

Taki (Friday Night Fever)

Unikitty (Unikitty Series)

Della Duck (Ducktales)

Hypno & Lost Silver/Gold (Pokepasta)

Shinto (FNF: Lullaby)

Pim (Smiling Friends)

Wednesday Addams (Wednesday Series)

Komasan (Yo-Kai Watch)

Sayori & Monika (Doki Doki Literature Club)

Kirby & Meta Knight (Kirby)

Chudd Chudders & DangerGrid Of Doom (Skatoony)

Bendy (BATDR)

Boris & Sammy Lawrence (BATIM)

Tari & Meggy Spletzer (SMG4)

Zardy (Zardy's Maze)

Scar (Alien Vs Predator)

Mugman & Baroness Von Bon Bon (The Cuphead Show)

Charlie Morningstar, Angel Dust & Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)

Slender Man, Splendor Man & Lulu (Creepypasta)

Mario.EXE (Mario's Madness)

Blitzo, Moxxie & Colin (Helluva Boss)

Woolly & Tig

Sam (Trick R Treat)

Hank Anderson (Detroit: Become Human)

Mr. Shark (The Bad Guys)

Charles Calvin, Reginald Copperbottom, Right Hand Man & Dmitri Petrov (Henry Stickmin)

Grogu (The Mandalorian)

Hanazuki

Pusheen The Cat

Anya Forger (Spy X Family)

Slappy (Goosebumps)

Zoe Kusama (Criminal Case)

Flaky (Happy Tree Friends)

Pim (Smiling Friends)

[aliypop]

Only The Strong Survive

Word Count: 2,048

Writers Note: I really wanted to make something angsty thanks to @sissylittlefeather

Warning: Mentions of drug use and overdose

Pairing: POC OC x Elvis/ Elvis and the twins

Plot: It's January 7th, 1977 Cecelia is now 42 and Elvis was 23 hours away from being 42, but what happens when things go left and they have to spend it in a hospital with their son Jessie

Taglist

@darkmoviesquotespizza

@sissylittlefeather

@richardslady121

@thegettingbyp2

@presleyenterprise

@sissylittlefeather

@dkayfixates

@rjmartin11

@thetaoofzoe

@your-nanas-house

@zayurir

@60svintage

@sillybookmarks

@leapresley

Memphis, Tennessee, January 7th, 1977

"Happy birthday, mama," Jessie smiled, pushing his dark blonde and brown hair back. "Thanks, baby." Cecelia kissed his cheek, his friends laughing at him. As he rolled his eyes. His father was going around talking and entertaining like he'd always do.

"You know you really do look like your dad." Jerico, his best friend, said,

"Shut up..." Brushing past him, walking away from the crowd and into the jungle room where Elaine had been reading a book. 

"Lanie, that's so lame." Jonathan smirked at her as she glared at him, " Come spend time with me~" He said, already sounding drunk, making kissing noises, 

"I'd rather kiss your sister... Oh wait, I already do." She stuck her tongue out at him,

"Ouch... That stings Lanie..." Jonathan clutched his heart. 

"Stop hitting on my sister..."

"You're being nice whaddya want..." Looking over her book, 

"We're gonna, you know..."

"No, if Daddy and Mama find out you're doing that crap..."

"They won't know!" Jerico smiled, 

"Yeah!" Jessie smirked, "We're gonna fool around a bit, drink a bit."

"You'll keep watch." Jonathan smiled, 

"Please..." His Graceland gang pleading in unison.

"Fine, but it's the last time." Walking down towards the backyard door to sneak out. "And Jessie..." Elaine asked he turned to face her, 

"Yeah, Sis..."

"Don't come back home high." She sighed,

"Buzzkill." 

Jessie, Jonathan, and Jerico were sitting around with a few high school seniors, blasting White Rabbit through the record player speakers as there were all the things, future rock and roll stars of their time, boozing, ladies, and "I got the drugs, boys!" one boy shouted as Jessie cheered, Jerico and Jonathan were only there for the drinks and dabbling of weed. But Jessie, he was there for the hard stuff. After all, he'd been hiding LSD and PCP in his room lately. 

"Whatcha got, Steve."

"Well, Jessie Garon.. We got blow, we got poppers..." 

"What're those?"

"Disco biscuits, they're far out, man." 

"I'll try... four."

"Jessie, you-"

"Jerry Jerico, I got this..." He winked

The party at Graceland was wrapping on Cecelia's end as she was dancing and kissing Elvis. Elaine watched, nervous for her brother. As her foot was tapping, Elaine could feel her chest tightening and her body. Feeling numb. Something was happening to Jessie. She could feel it. 

"Elaine, have you seen Jessie?" Elvis asked as she froze,

"Uh, no, I haven't..." Elaine smiled as Elvis looked at her. She was hiding something, 

"Little Biscuit, did Estella break your heart again..."

"No... We're fine." She smiled, "Just please go enjoy your birthday with Mama... You've only got 15 minutes before it's your turn." She smiled as Elvis kissed her forehead and smiled, 

"Alright, but you know you can tell me anything."

"Mhmm..." She smiled, watching him walk off.

"Please pick up..." Jonathan said, clutching the phone in his hand as he was shaking. Jerico watched as the ambulance came, picked up Jessie, and put him on the stretcher, 

"Who's this..."

"It's Jonathan,"

"What's wrong?" 

"Jessie's in the hospital... He overdosed." 

"FUCK!" Elaine shouted as she threw the kitchen phone at the wall. Elvis and Cecelia had just cut their separate cakes when they heard their daughter screaming in the kitchen. Running towards her. Elaine had been crouching down, rocking herself. This was her fault, and she knew it. 

"Hey... Hey...Hey... What happened." Elvis asked. He never liked seeing his favorite girl cry, and Elaine never liked lying to her parents, 

"It's Jessie..." 

"What happened to Jessie..." Cecelia asked as Elaine sniffled,

 "H-He's in the hospital..."

Memphis Hospital January, 8th, 1977, 3:30 am

It had been four hours, and they heard nothing, absolutely nothing. Elaine was pacing in the hallways. Cecelia was saying every prayer she could think of. Elvis was smoking a Cigarillo and shaking like a leaf. 

"ELVIS, HOW CAN YOU SMOKE AT A TIME LIKE THIS!"

" DAMNIT, HOW CAN I NOT!" Elvis's leg began to shake, and his heart was racing. The two got into a heated argument. Elaine was rocking again. Her family was falling apart. Before her eyes, it was her fault. Clutching onto his Nipper hound-dog stuffed animal,  

"MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SO DAMN FOCUSED ON YOUR STATEWIDE TOUR WE'D HAVE CAUGHT THIS BEFORE IT GOT TO THIS!"

"I'M SORRY, BUT AREN'T YOU THE ONE WORKIN ON A MOVIE AND TWO ALBUMS AND RUNNIN A RECORD COMPANY. DON'T TELL ME ABOUT NOT BEING THERE!"

"stop yelling...." Elaine said. Softly, as they kept arguing, "STOP IT NOW, BOTH OF YOU!"  Elvis and Cecelia stopped as they looked at their daughter. She was heartbroken, torn even. She felt unseen and unheard in this very room. That should be filled with love right now. "I should be in there... not him!" Elaine shouted, her voice was tired and weak,

"Ellie..." Cecelia sat next to her, "It's not your fault..."

"It is... I let him do this to himself... I-I didn't stop him. I-I'd let him go and do this anytime he needed a fix! "Taking her fist and pounding it into her forehead, "I'm stupid... WHY WOULD I LET HIM DO THAT WHY!" Elvis and Cecelia hugged her as she sobbed into Elvis's lap, Cecelia petting her hair. 

"Little Biscuit, it ain't your fault..."

"But it is daddy... I-I already caused this family enough pain now, Jessie." She sniffled, 

"Ellie, you tried to protect him the best you could." 

"Mama, it wasn't enough... He shouldn't be here. You two shouldn't be here! It's Daddy's birthday, and you're both here!" She screamed, storming off, 

"Where you going!" Cecelia asked,

"To have a long conversation with GOD!" She turned to look at her parents, " ON MY OWN!" Cecelia and Elvis didn't know to be mad at her or pleased, a mix, maybe, as the two huddled together in the hospital. Cecelia then laughed a little. She had been thinking of something,

"What's so funny..."

"I stopped by the gift shop and got you a little gift." It was a horribly made Elvis doll, which made him laugh as he looked at it, 

"Happy birthday..." 

"Oh, man. Lord have mercy, baby, it's ugly." He laughed as he kissed her forehead, "And to think I got you an I Heart Elvis mug."

"We'll have matching sets. I got you a mug too." On it, it said I Heart Cecelia.

"Is this chapel taken..." Estella asked. as Jonathan and Jerico stood behind her, "Tell 'em I don't want to talk..." Elaine glared at the two boys, "Ellie Bear..." Estella mumbled, "NO!" She stood up, "What kind of God gives my brother friends like you!" Elaine said, with a tone that was venomous. "El..." Estella tried to reach out for her as she backed away, "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HIM, AND YOU ALL SAT THERE AND LET HIM DO THAT!"  

"You ain't no saint either, Elaine!" Jerico laughed,

"I don't know what you mean..."

"Jessie got into drinkin cause your little accident..." Jonathan smirked, "So maybe get off your high horse." Elaine ran off crying as Estella slapped her brother, 

"Mr. and Mrs. Presley, you're welcome to see him now." The Nurse said. Jessie was sleeping as they were detoxing him of all the toxins in his body. His skin was sweaty, but he was safe. Kissing his forehead, Cecelia hugged his body as Elvis shed a few tears. That was his baby boy lying right there in the same bed he was birthed on, "He'll be able to go home when he wakes up." 

Graceland Memphis, Tennessee, January 8th, 7am

"Lord...Please save him. He's all I got, amen..."  Was all Jessie heard when he woke up to an IV drip in his arm and a massive headache? There was a trashcan by his bed, a rag on his forehead, and he felt like, 

"Shit, what happened to me..."

"You almost died. You had LSD, PCP, and Disco biscuits in your system along with Whiskey." Elaine sighed, 

"They know, don't they..." Jessie asked as Elaine nodded, "Yeah, daddy ain't pleased, and Mama's been fightin' the press all night."

"What about you?"

"Well, Jerico hates me, Jonathan hates me, Estella said we should take a break."

"I knew I heard Rocketman, but I thought I was still tripping." Elaine nudged him, as he nudged her back,

 "I'm sorry I scared you so bad."

"Promise me you won't do any of that crap again!" 

"Laine..."

"Jessie Vernon Presley, I will shove that IV needle up your ass."

"Fine, fine!" He then heard a knock at his bedroom door, Elvis couldn't look Jessie in the eye, and Jessie couldn't look to face Elvis, 

"Mornin Daddy,"

"Elaine..."

"I'll let you two uh talk." She raced out of the room. The air was thick with tension as the man who "Pushed" him opened his mouth to speak.

"Jessie, I'm sorry."

"For trying to make me like you!"

"Jessie..."

"You don't care about me! You're so caught up with Mama, and y'all's career that you don't even notice me!" Jessie laughed, "So, no, you're not sorry!" 

"Jessie!" Elvis grabbed his face to get his son to look at him, "You're a spoiled, selfish brat, and you're stubborn. You think you know every damn thing, and you don't!" Elvis growled in anger, 

"Oh, yeah, like you ever had it hard!"

"You don't know how your on ass from your head!" Elvis laughed, "I've been through so much that I pray you and your sister never had to." Jessie rolled his eyes, 

"Yeah, like running outta money or what jumpsuit to wear!"

"Like making sure I never had to be the sixteen-year-old boy in the streets workin trying to keep food on the table to feed his family so he'd never have to get kicked out in the streets lookin for food in a trashcan!" Jessie looked at his father. As Elvis began to cry, 

"I try so much to be the perfect father 'cause your mama... she didn't have that growin up, I-I-I try..."

"You didn't try hard enough, nor did Mama..." Jessie smirked, 

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

" I JUST WANT YOUR ATTENTION!" Jessie looked up at him, tears in his eyes as Elvis hugged him tightly, 

"I want your love..." 

"Jessie, you have my love..." 

"No, I don't. You're not always here, neither is Mama..." He cried, and Elvis's heart broke. Jessie sounded like the little seven-year-old boy who would sneak into bed because he had a nightmare. He sounded like he did once when he was his age. The whole world was on his shoulders, and he needed help carrying it.

"Jessie... What can I do to make it better?"

"I liked when we'd have our boy's night out with Uncle, Jerry, and Lamar, and Red, Joe, and Billy..."  

"Me too, kid..." Elvis smiled,

 "I'd like to tell you things again..."

"Like what." Elvis smiled

"Like how I'm interning under Mama, cause her assistants cute." He laughed as Elvis chuckled, 

"Or how I secretly buy your records 'cause I think you're so cool, and I'll never be you."

"Takin' drugs and living your life like this, ain't it. That's not being cool. Being true to you is." Elvis smiled as Cecelia watched from the door, 

"You think so..."

"I know so," He kissed his forehead, "We love you, I love you,"

"I love you too Pa." Jessie hugged his dad as Elvis smiled, 

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time

'Til touchdown brings me round again to find

I'm not the man they think I am at home

"Estella broke up with Elaine again..."

"Yeah..."

"God grants me more years, but less patience." He laughed as Jessie and Elvis laughed, 

*Bonus*

"Cece..." 

"Hmm..." 

"Being a parent may be the hardest career ever." He kissed his wife on the forehead, "Who're you tellin." She kissed his neck as he moaned,

 "Happy birthday to"

KNOCK 

         KNOCK

KNOCK

"What!"

"Can we sleep with y'all!" Jessie asked as Cecelia and Elvis laughed, 

"Happy birthday my beloved."

"Some birthday." He smiled, "Come on in, guys!" Elaine and Jessie walked in with pillows, a cake, and blankets. Making a fort on the ground, the four of them watching TV all snuggled up together, It was true what they said, 

Only the strong truly did survive. 

[joethetoonfanandoutcast]

Tall woman-little man pairings I adore

Here are a list of tall woman-little man pairings, canon or fanmade, that I adore.

Roger x Jessica (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

Kermit x Miss Piggy (The Muppets)

Barney x Betty (The Flintstones)

Donkey x Dragon (Shrek)

Fox x Skunk (Skunk Fu; with Skunk being older than canon obviously, either it's an AU or it's a time skip where he's old enough to date Fox)

Fox (Skunk Fu) x William D. Ploohe (Disney Xover OC doppelganger of Winnie the Pooh)

Rita x Dodger (Oliver and Company)

Rita x Oliver (Oliver and Company; with Oliver being older than canon)

Rita (Oliver and Company) x Bolt (film of the same name)

Esme "Sukey" Lane x Baxter Crescent (Sing OC duplicates of Buster and Suki, since shipping MoonLane is pointless)

Esme "Sukey" Lane (Sing OC) x Sylvester (Looney Tunes)

Stanley the cat x Alicia the dog (my Bremen/Sing OCs)

Furrball x Fifi La Fume (Tiny Toons; I think Fifi is like an inch taller than him, though that's not much)

Furrball x Julie Bruin (Tiny Toons)

Gomez x Morticia (The Addams Family)

Buzz x Jessie (Toy Story)

Beast Boy x Raven (Teen Titans)

Beast Boy x Terra (Teen Titans)

Ted Wiggins x Audrey (The Lorax (2012))

Felix x Calhoun (Wreck-It Ralph)

Tails x Zooey (Sonic Boom)

Tails x Barby Koala (Sonic comics)

Tails x Lupe (Sonic AU where Tails is older)

Tails x Blaze (Sonic AU where Tails is older)

Spike x Applejack (MLP:FIM AU)

Shackelford x Dorothy (Clifford's Really Big Movie)

Drake Mallard x Morgana McCawber (Darkwing Duck)

Iago x Thundra (Aladdin)

Timon x Shenzi (The Lion King AU)

Timon x Piper (The Lion King AU)

Cody Maverick x Lani Aliikai (Surf's Up)

Dixie x male version of Zelda (The Fox and the Hound 2 AU)

Twig x Anna (Amphibia AU)

Mike Wazowski x Celia Mae (Monsters Inc.)

Tom (Tom & Jerry) x Brenda Springer (Animalympics)

Leshawna x Harold (Total Drama)

WALL-E x Eve (WALL-E)

Phineas Flynn x Isabella Garcia-Shapiro (Phineas and Ferb)

Chicken Little x Abby Mallard (Chicken Little)

Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio) x Rosie (A Bug's Life)

Lady Kluck (Robin Hood (1973)) x the White Rabbit (Alice in Wonderland (1951))

[daysofourlivesrecaps]

Thursday, 27 July 2023

It recently occurred to me that, while I sometimes want good things to happen to characters I like, what I really want from this show at any given moment is MAXIMUM DRAMA. I want whatever situation is unfolding to unfold in the most emotionally overwrought and complicated way possible. So let’s see if anything in today’s installment lives up to that desire.

First: Dimitri and Leo are still fucking around behind Gwen’s back — or, in this case, literally twenty seconds after she left the hotel room.

Hopefully she doesn’t forget something and let herself back in —

Whoops!

Unfortunately, this doesn’t get anywhere near MAXIMUM DRAMA. Instead, we get one of those extremely hacky sitcomesque “we were rehearsing for a play” explanations.

Only Leo — four-foot-nothing Leo, who would be perfect casting as a Ferengi or an Oompa Loompa — actually expects Gwen to believe that he was getting beefy, bulky Dimitri to try on one of his suits.

Damn it, Gwenjamin. You’re getting married TOMORROW. You need to wake up and smell the sodomy!

At the hospital, Theo and Kayla share what my partner Amanda keeps insisting on pointing out are empty cups of coffee.

Theo goes into some weird theory about how Abe getting hit over the head with a rolling pin is probably his fault. This is about as far from MAXIMUM DRAMA as you can get. Theo had nothing to do with any of this. He was in South Africa at the time. Which is very far away from wherever the fuck Salem is supposed to be.

Meanwhile, in Lani’s room, she and Eli are reminding us why they were pretty much the best couple on the show before they left.

Eli’s coming on a bit strong with his OH MY GOD WE WERE SO WORRIED CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING and Lani very cutely calls him out on this.

I’m really going to miss these two when Lani gets dragged back to prison. Which is exactly what US Marshal This Guy is insisting upon right now.

It’s weird that in a room full of cops of various flavors, I still thought of this guy as the narc.

Abe wakes up and talks extensively with Paulina, whom he does not remember at all.

Turns out all the drugs and lies that Nurse King was feeding him for all those weeks (months? days? The passage of time on this show is always extremely nebulous) haven’t helped with Abe’s existing amnesia. Quite the opposite, in fact — he’s more confused than ever now!

Then Abe is visited by Theo, whom he also doesn’t recognize since Theo isn’t Jerry, the guy who was claiming to be Theo.

Then Lani shows up and very diplomatically tells Abe that she has to leave for awhile, without laying all that prison stuff on him. 

Which is a very compassionate thing to do, but also isn’t getting us any closer to MAXIMUM DRAMA.

And over in That Little Room Where Everyone is Allowed to Visit Prisoners at the police station, Marlena attempts to ascertain just how lip-strummingly mental Nurse King really is.

And given that she believes Marlena is actually Charlemagne from Body and Soul, the answer is “quite mental”!

And… okay, this may not be MAXIMUM DRAMA, but it is a really good use of that whole Body and Soul thing. I thought they were just doing that as a silly little self-referential thing and casting their existing performers because they knew they’d have fun with it. And that was probably part of the reason they did it. But now we have Whitley being genuinely confused that the woman from her soap is also this nice psychiatrist who’s come to talk to her BECAUSE THEY LOOK AND SOUND EXACTLY ALIKE. 

Sometimes this show does those “heel turns” (which I understand is an expression about wrestling and shoes?), but occasionally they’ll take someone who wasn’t especially sympathetic and add something that absolutely breaks your heart. And this is what they’ve managed to do with Nurse King in only two or three episodes.

So when Paulina shows up and smacks her in the damn face…

…it absolutely qualifies as MAXIMUM DRAMA but also I feel legitimately bad for Nurse King! Well done, Days.

Also, if I do these things for the next 20 years, I will never get a better screen cap than that one.

[takeeachdayonebookatatime]

Why did you elbow me? 111

Achilles Castle part 16

Ryan: pov just as we are about to ride another ride Jenny calls sounding shaken up telling us to come to the game section, everyone is Fine but there was an incident and the police are on their way. She is starting to freak me out, I can hear people in the background talking. People near us are whispering about something.

Castle: pov Jerry the security guard tells the employee Kate is a homicide Captain out of the 12th precinct. In the booth the employee got a chair for the suspect who is handcuffed to sit in. The security guard named Jerry had cuffed Remington earlier. Kate has the guy's gun pointed at him until the police can arrive. Jerry said another employee is taking care of Clive, the injured guard. The rest of our group shows up looking surprised and scared. The police from a nearby town and chief Brady arrive to take the guy in and question him. The guy who runs the fair Nathan has also arrived, he says a statement needs to be made to let people know everything is okay. Because people are freaking out. He talks with Kate and Jerry who tell him what happened.

Alexis: pov dad explains what happened and it sounds very scary. Police are interviewing the witnesses. Kate is in boss mode helping out, Ryan and Esposito offer to help talk to the witnesses since they were riding rides at the time. One of the fair employees named Drew says someone must have notified the press because the news is out front of the fair grounds in the parking lot setting up. Nathan, the guy who runs the fair, decides to go handle it. Chief Brady is actually going to be making a statement after Nathan.

Nathan the person who runs the fair : pov from what the guard and Kate told me I have enough info to give a small statement. I tell the reporter thanks to the quick thinking of Captain Kate Beckett a horrible incident was prevented. For the time being the fair Is still open and all the people at the fair are okay and will be given vouchers to get free food, and come back whenever they want.

Chief Brady: pov It seems the suspect was armed with a gun that had a silencer on it he knocked out a guard and gained entry to the fair, he then pulled out his weapon near the game area. That is when Captain Kate Beckett sprang into action without thinking about herself. It's too early in the investigation for me to give out anymore info about the suspect. But if it wasn't for her quick thinking things would have turned out way worse today.

Jill the reporter: pov you said the person who prevented this incident is Captain Kate Beckett.

Chief Brady: yes she is a homicide Captain out of the 12th precinct, I have worked with her before on a case.

Lanie: pov A few minutes later Nathan reappears saying they want to talk to the person who prevented this from happening. I can tell Kate is finally letting it all sink in. I don't want her having a heart episode from this. An employee hands Kate a water bottle, I check her numbers to make sure they are good. They are a little elevated but not bad. The whole family heads to the parking lot for her interview. An employee is bringing a chair because I'm concerned about her. Kate introduces herself to Jill the reporter. When her numbers are a little elevated Kate has this habit of rubbing her chest. Maybe because it doesn't feel good she thinks that rubbing it will help.

Jill the reporter: pov hello my name is Jill, Chief Brady told me you are a police Captain. Can you tell me/explain what happened from your point of view?

Kate: pov I was near the games with my family when I saw in the mirror behind the game a guy reaching for something in the reflection. That is when I saw the gun and sprang into action without thinking. My dad was sitting there, my mother in law, my husband who just injured his leg a few days ago, our pregnant friend and her daughter. The rest of our group was riding the rides.

Jill the reporter: pov can I ask if you are okay because you seem to be rubbing your chest.

Kate: pov I have no idea I'm doing it, I have previous chest trauma from a shooting that happened years ago, I have arrhythmia from it, which is a form of ventricular tachycardia. The bullet hit my pulmonary vein and ventricle causing me to bleed into my heart requiring emergency heart surgery. I went into cardiac arrest and flatlined. I'm on heart meds for life and also suffer from a form of PTSD. When my heart rate is elevated I have this habit of rubbing my chest.

Jill the reporter: pov can I ask if your shooting happened while on the job.

Kate: pov it was at my Captain's funeral I was giving the eulogy when it happened. Nearly died but thankfully my friend Lanie who is an Medical examiner was there and saved my life. Jill says i can't believe that happened to you. The reporter is now talking to Jerry the guard.

Jerry: pov I explain how I found Clive injured and called for police and an ambulance. I also explained how I let the employees know something was wrong.

Esposito: pov Lanie decides to give Kate a dose of her heart meds, chief Brady is still on scene. Kate asks him if he wants to eat with us before he leaves. People are staring at us, which is weird. I lift up Kate's arms so Lanie can give Kate her meds. Jenny says her feet are hurting. At the picnic table it is decided Alexis, Ryan, Esposito, Dave and Lanie will be picking up the food for us after we order it. Kate is looking tired. To be continued. …………

[greatshell-rider]

37. a too-rich dessert (sensory prompts)

Lani strode down the street, hand clutching tightly to Jerry’s slack hand as she pulled him insistently after her. He had to run every few steps to keep up with her, her legs were longer and faster, and the uneven stones that made up the road kept tripping him up. A cloud of dizziness buzzing around his eyes was no help either, neither the emptiness clawing hopelessly at the edges of his stomach, but Jerry knew better than to complain. No whimper passed his lips as he stumbled after his sister, eyes half-closed to abate the dizziness.

Then they turned a corner, and the sudden blast of powerful, warm food smells nearly knocked Jerry off his feet. His head jerked up, eyes going wide at the sight of bakery after bakery lining the street. As Lani hurried him past, he stared through windows with racks of freshly-baked bread on proud display fogging the glass with their steam. Outside one, the owner stood in the doorway with a large basket balanced on their hip, laughing as they handed out half-loaves to passersby and boasting that even better selections awaited customers inside.

Jerry stretched out his hand to the baker, trembling fingers reaching for a flour-dusted heel, but too slowly. Lani yanked him by the arm to the side, dodging around a well-dressed couple strolling arm-in-arm. Only the start of a cry of protest made it out his mouth before Lani bundled his head underneath her arm and dragged him out of the crowd of customers and into the street. She continued walking swiftly, forcing his stride to match hers, in the gutters with their heads ducked.

He struggled to break free of her grip, but she let him go only after they’d turned down another street, a quieter, darker one with fewer people and lampposts both.

“Idiot,” she said calmly, smiling as he angrily rubbed his head. “Do you really think they’d have given something to a dirty beggar like you?”

~

“So’s here the plan.”

The flock of gutter-rats clustered around their leader Guts, who knelt in the dust of a crooked alley, sketching out a skewed map of their target across the street with a deft finger. The usual elbowing for a space near the front had finished; now each child stared with intense, learned focus on the plan. No one spoke, each wary of their better. 

Guts continued, adding more details as they went, “Telly, you take Squint and do your sparkle, dazzle ‘em all away from the front door.”

The kids nodded, Telly punching Squint in the shoulder.

“Next. Bun, Ick, and Extra-Extra, you know the trolleys hang around here, mmm? Lure them’s off.”

Three nods this time, bobbing up and down just out of sync.

“We’ll spank ‘em good,” Ick said, smug already, eliciting snorts of laughter and jostling from the other gutter-rats.

Guts sniffed, drawing the attention back to themself. “And’s I will start on the rooftop next door, sparrow it from’s there.” Their finger slid through the dust, marking short arcs from one square to the other, then down and through a window on the second floor of the building. Guts sat back on their heels—the others unconsciously leaning away as well—and smiled in self-satisfaction. They eyed those of the gang yet jobless, and made their choices as to who would accompany them without hesitation.

Jerry’s heart sank as his name wasn’t called. As the cluster began to break apart, he closed his eyes briefly, letting out a silent breath through his mouth, then braced himself and forced his eyes back open and on Guts. “What about me, boss?”

The chatter that had erupted died. Jerry’s shoulders shrank up to his ears as stark silence lasted for one beat, two, and three, before Guts deigned to reply. They glared down at Jerry from their superior height; they’d stood up in the time it had taken Jerry to gather his courage, leaving him still crouched by the sketch. “You want a frag in the job, Books?”

His cheeks burned at his nickname. “Yessie.”

They leered. “Your damn’s sister not dragging you out today?”

Snickers bounced from one gutter-rat to another, and Jerry sank down lower, but didn’t look away. “Nosie.”

Guts scowled down at him, and Jerry waited in agony until the rest of the gang got too restless and they said quickly, “Fine. I can maybe’s squeeze you in.” They snapped their fingers, a wicked grin curving across their face. “I have it. The perfect job for you, Books, and it even fits your name. You’ll have to be smart.” They waited for the jittering laughter to end, and Jerry bit his lip, suddenly hopeful despite the jibe.

Guts’ eyes bored into Jerry’s, narrowed with malice and mirth. “You go’s into the shop and puppet some coin. Keep’s the shopkeep sparkled, mmm?”

The gang crowed their support and Jerry’s stomach dropped, even as he staggered to his feet. “Yessie,” he managed to say, under the Guts’ expectant gaze. “I—I won’t let you down.”

They clapped him on the shoulder in false camaraderie, then shoved him away down the alley. “Get going! Tits and twaddle for the whistle.”

Jerry recovered his footing and ran off, heart pounding in his chest. Sparkling the shopowner was the riskiest job, trapped indoors and drawing suspicious eyes on himself the entire time. If anyone got caught, it would be him, and there’d be no glory in it either, not like if Guts and their frag were snapped.

Desperation made his chest hurt, even as he skidded to a stop outside the alley and sucked down a deep breath to calm his breathing before stepping out at a slower pace. He threaded into the morning’s crowd of pedestrians thronging the street, trying to look casual and unhurried as he headed for the targeted shop. Somewhere behind him, his gutter-mates shadowed his step, getting into position and awaiting his signal. He couldn’t fuck this up. He couldn’t fuck this up.

So he told himself repeatedly as he dawdled outside the pastry shop for a minute or two, picking at his nails and bending to retie his raggedy shoes, then ducked inside before his idleness became unsavory to the public. As he pushed the door open, springing the entry bell into a jolly jingle, he caught sight of Telly and Squint out of the corner of his eye, hurrying into their places a short distance on either side of the shop entrance. The two carried fistfuls of pamphlets, both handmade and scavenged, and they cried out in greeting to those walking by, pressing earnest words into ears and wrinkled papers into palms before the unfortunate victims could shake them off. Few spared a glance at the pastry shop, distracted by their need to escape.

That would keep customers off Jerry’s tail. To both his luck and misfortune—the prior to his mates, the latter to himself—no one was inside pursuing the shop’s wares, either. There was only Jerry, and the clerk seated behind the counter eyeing him and his state of clothes without warmth.

Jerry took a breath and fixed a shaky smile on his face. Sweat broke out on his brow, and he hoped with all he had that Guts and the others hurried, before he stepped up and boldly asked the clerk about yesterday’s marked-down desserts.

~

The boot drove into Jerry’s stomach, punching the air from his lungs in a brayed gasp. He sprawled only a short distance before his shoulder knocked into the wall of a building and landed him face-down in the dirt. The wrapped handkerchief of iced cookies tumbled from his hand, half of them already crumbs. Harsh laughter rung against the narrow confines of the alley as the city guard closed in, three of the brutes joining the one whose boot had hit him first. The same boot now stepped right before Jerry’s nose.

“Gutter-rat’s been nibbling at the wrong trousers this time, that’s for sure,” the guard sneered. “And for what? This dried shit?” The boot lifted up and stomped down on the cookies, the signature recipe of one famed baker who apparently paid well for extra patrols, grinding them into the muck of the ground. “What a waste for a vermin like you.”

Jerry sensed the slight change in air, and curled in on himself a beat before the second boot slammed into his side. He gasped again as he felt ribs crack, then closed his eyes and did his best to protect his head as more kicks fell. One of the guards was saying something, almost screeching, the others cheering them on, but he couldn’t make out any of it through the bombardment of pain that bloomed across his body with every stomp and strike.

He had almost tipped mercifully into unconsciousness before the kicks abruptly stopped, the sudden absence a prick to his awareness, before being fully jolted back into the present as his arms were ripped away from his head and twisted behind his back.

“LIttle bitch isn’t even listening,” the guard snarled in his ear, sounding disgusted.

“Quick fix to that,” another grunted.

Jerry had time only to look up as the boot crashed down squarely on his face, cutting just above his left eye and and crunching his nose into messy pieces. Jerry screamed as the boot lifted off, then cut off as he was dropped back down to the ground. The guards chuckled as they peeled away one by one, the last aiming a final lash at his cheek. The blow clacked his teeth together, splitting his lip.

“Don’t steal above your worth, filth.”

~

“I am just overjoyed you could make it, Jerry,” Heir Lord Lihah Aswail Rilst the Fifth said fondly, the powdered voice coming from Jerry’s right. “You so deserve the honor, after your performance at the tests. Not that you need the reminder! You whooped my ass!”

Jerry tore his gaze from the banquet being laid out by blank-faced servants on the table before him. “It’s my pleasure,” he stammered, then, peering at the painted face of his friend exactly schooled to polite amusement, panickily wondered if that was the correct thing to say. “I’m humbled to be here,” he amended quickly. “Your generosity is astonishing, heir lord.”

To his faint relief, Lihah laughed heartily, tapping Jerry’s shoulder with a light yet companionable touch. “Heir lord, really, Jerry! I invited you here as my friend. There’s no need for such formality. This is a celebration!” He brandished his arms, waving to the finely-decorated table and its many guests seated at it, almost as if beckoning merriment to them. He nearly whacked the servant approaching with a tray from behind, but didn’t notice, merely turning to Jerry with a grin.

Jerry nodded weakly, not trusting his dry throat.

Lilah studied him, his joviality growing slightly more serious. “Honestly, I’m surprised at you—so pale, and quiet. You’re never like this in the practice yard.” He grinned again, teasingly. “Is the pomp really scarier than facing my blade?”

Get your shit together, Jerry berated himself. “Wooden or sharpened?” he said, forcing nonchalance to his voice in a mockery of his usual self. “Or, well, I suppose it doesn’t really matter, not when it’s you as my opponent.”

Lilah cried out in false affront, giving Jerry’s shoulder another shove, harder this time, and Jerry grinned, almost swayed back into familiarity.

Then servants leaned in on his either side to pluck the covers off platters set in the middle of the table, revealing a staggering quantity and variety to the delicacies—mere appetizers, Lilah had informed him airily—that lay beneath. The servants retreated, Lilah’s parent at the head of the table took their first serving, but Jerry could only stare.

“Help yourself,” Lilah said, as the young noble reached for a large bowl of pudding. “We don’t require servants to do everything for us, you know.”

“Of course,” he said witlessly, eyes locked on an enormous brown cake pillowed in deep red frosting. Slowly, movements restrained in a jacket more costly than the entirety of everything he’d ever owned, he took the server placed beside the cake and cut a misshaped portion out. He clumsily dumped it on his heavy glass plate—Lilah hid a smile behind a silk napkin dabbed at his lips—and settled back in his ornate chair, staring down at the massive slice in sudden terror. Surely that was too much, and he would be thrown out or scorned. But a swift glance at his neighbors showed many a guest piling dish after dish onto their plates. Some were already on seconds.

Lilah was looking at him with a strange smile, his own pudding untouched. “Well?”

“A fine banquet indeed,” Jerry murmured, lifting one of the many spoons beside his plate and scooping a piece from the cake. He looked uneasily at Lilah, still staring at him, who gave an encouraging nod. He placed the bite on his tongue.

His throat closed, to choke rather than swallow.

[castle-dominion]

4x4 kick the ballistics

I thought "this is going to be a plot heavy episode, probably caskett heavy bc it is going to be castle heavy" but then it was very ryan heavy & we learned some esposito stuff too. so so super excited for this ep. I really enjoyed it during my family watch. this i sprobs going to be the only episode I have time for today bc I'm going to spend so long on it & I really should only watch one today anyway. sjkdfakjsdfhdh excited

Gates killed those last two women (& attempted to kill another), not tyson. Y'all said his gf was safe bro! you did NOT say where gates was! That's why he asked! He didn't need to know abt his girl bc you already let him know she was fine! Also he may have been the 3xk all along but gates killed those girls! Also why didn't castle let ryan know what was going on? Tyson just hit him twice & ryan was done for! Got a concussion too. Not all concussions knock you out but all KOs give you concussions.

Mm cement, just like my daddy. Going to be a chopped up dead body in there. Little bro told me that bodies float in cement. Or yk maybe a whole body.

Yeah I still have scars that pull, not much anymore tho, it has been long enough. I actually thought she was like on her period at first or smth. What if the construction guys rinsed off the cement, would that have been easier? Ah buried her in the sand to make sure she was in there & wouldn't float. RC: Execution style murder, cement trucks…can anyone else say mob hit? I'm looking at concrete evidence right here.

Why did you use the ballistics favour you had today? Espt's shirt is interesting, looks more Ryan than Espt tho. Patterned (plaid or smth), dark, purple-ish I think, p neutral tho, collared, long sleeved. Badge around neck. Ryan is wearing typical ryan stuff. Jacket, shirt, tie, vest. Oof, parents lost their only child. You know, I can see the focus is in certain places in this ep, when I first watched it I didn't notice. Here their desks are back to back btw. Who sits across from espt & who sits across from ryan? find out WHEN she cancelled

there is not nearly enough cement in her hair Good, lanie said 12-midnight to specify it was night not noon. Oof, my christowitch heart. Maybe he didn't let her pray, maybe she just,,, was praying.

Good that becks started with "we didn't find drugs in her system" Good mom. He wouldn't meet my eye.

finnbar is a name? oh gosh i feel nauseous & in pain I just started my period today-ish. time to read that vent fic i wrote with ftm!ryan. Construction.

I love relationships that stay friends *doesn't say goodbye before hanging up* Do they have an intercom? ig she could tap on the glass just as well. Was she moving the computer to make room or bc she was angry? "my man finn" JE looks excited, KR looks bugged JE: w- hh- ? .. that's good news. KB: *looking at ryan*... KB: Ryan, it's a match to your old service weapon. & we've already seen the intro so we KNOW this is 3xk but they don't know it's related. "it's yours" it WAS yours, it is not yours anymore. the "it's" makes it sound like "is" which makes it sound like he killed her. The shock on his face. So good. & espt also looks upset, along with becks too ig. & then the intro is a different colour, this is a serious episode! The music is different! I love it!

This is a frickin gbeautiful scene, this is what it feels like to be off my meds. Man looks fricking angry Looks like he's going to court or smth. Where is he? Just standing outside the precinct? Why? What floor are y'all on? Also when did espt get here? Oof the music. What's with the timeline? He was in the observation room, then outside, then up again with gates.

"Castle was with you?" I don't care whose fault it is. All I care about it mitigating the damage. I really respect gates.

RC, he cares abt his friends, when ryan comes out of gates' office speedwalking: u ok? KR, being honest: I will be when Jerry Tyson's in cuffs. (meaning he is not ok rn but he ain't saying that.) Yeah the MO was weird to me KR, upset & making a joke that I find funny even tho the situation sucks: Yeah, must have mentioned that when I was out cold on the floor. RC: ... You know Ryan, none of this is your fault. The fact that he used your gun– KR, That weapon was issued to me by the city of New York. I let it out of my hand (he beat u up bro) and now a girl is dead. *sounding like he's going to cry* So please do not tell me that it's not my fault. Man could use a hug but wouldn't accept it. I'd expect this to ba a more castle centric episode since he was the one 3xk left alive "you failed to stop me, more ppl will die bc of you" yk that thing. I'm glad they made it ryan centric too. RN I actually feel like castle is blaming himself for ryan's upset.

multiple withdrawals bc she didn't want to raise attention...? RC: Or Tyson. He stalked his victims before he killed them. JE: KB: why are they just staring bro?

I like how this is castle centric too: It's like I've been holding my breath for a year waiting for this day to come. A whole year of wondering about him, hating him, dreaming about him, trying to think like him, but still having no clue how to catch him. MR, i love her: Your playacting once helped save New York City, as I recall. Be there for your friends. Stand beside them. Work together. That's plenty useful. Trust me.

I've seen this before, I'm p sure the boyf couldn't see her bc he was you-know-what

Holy crap that was a great scene. Whips the paper around, all three sitting behind espt, wow. who is "him" tho? idak & I've seen this before

Girl he said he didn't know Strapped meaning carrying a gun or strapped as in he's like wearing a chastity belt? 3am or pm? I like how beckett is in here with ryan. She's usually leading the investigations, but Ryan needs to be at the front.

& good, castlesito is out back in case ppl try to escape. Castle asks espt abt ryan <3 rysposito are such good friends. RC: So, how's Ryan holding up? JE: *considers what to say* JE, actually facing castle, smth men seem not to do: Three days after my last tour in Iraq, I'm at a diner with friends. A car backfires. My friends look around, I'm under the table. (cool, some esposito backstory too) RC: JE: . Ryan's just waiting for the next hit. *castle nods* ok but you know what I need a fic of that, I need the aftermath. What happens, he comes out from under the table all sheepish like "heheh, forget that happened" & casually orders eggs? What happened bro?

Weird how they are there in the mirror

Wait espt is driving, how does he have his gun pointing out the window? Hey wasn't ryan a narcotics cop? Also narcotics are technically only from opium products, not ALL drugs.

beckett's outfit is nice. She has a vest on over her shirt.

KR: Who's Ben Lee? SC: Who's Ben L --? Son of Clifford Lee.  KR: *understanding face* JE: *looks at ryan bc espt does not understand* Mmm dim sum Ah yes, the immigrant parent. She's just some kid! She doesn't have any undercover exp! & ryan looks mad! (in a quiet way) SC: Twice a week she was in their house. I told her I would drop the possession charges if she brought me some solid intel on Lee's criminal operations. She said okay. And somehow she tipped them off and they killed her. KR: KR: *looks over at espt* KR: That is it? SC: I just handed you a solid lead, what do you want some more? What is this? KR: Yeah. How about the truth? KB, in obs room where ryan can't hear her: Come on, Ryan. Keep it together. KR: You expect us to believe that you work a case for years and then one lucky Saturday night you just happen to roll up on the perfect CI? *lower* See, I did my time in Narcotics, Carver, huh? I know a shortcut when I hear one. SC: Not you, Ryan. If I didn't know any better, I would think you were accusing me of something untoward. KR: *stands up* SC: Whoa, hey. KR: You targeted Jane Herzfeld. *JE looks slowly from ryan to carver* You planted those drugs in her car and then you made her help you out. *voice jumping* You-- you sent her in there alone! No back up, no protection, and now she's dead! SC, nice & calm: Yeah well, I didn't make her dead. KR: Hell, you didn't. You may have not pulled the trigger, but you're as guilty as the creep who did. *projecting* SC: What about you, man, hmm? Look at yourself. Word around the house is that that creep used your gun. (where tf did he learn that rumour?) What kind of cop can't keep a hold of his own weapon? *stands up* *ryan pushes him, then grabs him & pushes him against the wall* KR: What did you say to me huh? KB: Let's go. KR: Say it! Hey, I want you to say it! Say it to my KB: Break it up. *pulls ryan off him* Break it up. We're all cops here, okay? (thinking about castle) SC, keeping his eyes on ryan with only the occasional glance to the person he's speaking to: If you're done, I think I'll take my leave now. KB: Yeah. Thanks for your help, Carver. SC: You got it. (seth walks off & they all watch him leave, coincidentally ending up facing Ryan who ended up closest to the door. Ryan looks down a bit, still angry but probs ashamed. He sighs.) KB: What are you trying to do? You want the Captain to come in here? *ryan doesn't answer* Go cool off. *ryan walks out, placing his hand on the doorframe. Castle looks back at beckett & espt tilts his head* "go cool off" is at least a masculine way of saying "hey sweetie do you need to take a break?"

Ooh good scene with the coffee. [KR is making coffee, KB passes the sugar. Ryan nods thanks.] KB big sister moments: Guy's a jerk. [Ryan scoffs a laugh and nods.] KR: When I started in Narcotics, I was so green I--I didn't know how things got done. *chuckles* One day there was this major bust, street gang cooking meth. They were stacking up guys in the bullpen, taking their statements one by one. Place is a zoo. I'm answering phones in the squad. Girl on the line, name of Alicia, asking for my lieutenant, so I call out across the bullpen "Hey, Lieu! Alisha's on the phone for ya." [Beckett chuckles.] KR: It was her tip got these guys nailed and all of them just heard me call out her name. *beckett stops smiling at his silly little mistake bc she realizes how serious this silly mistake was* Searched all day and all night looking for her before the gang could get word back to the street that she was a nark. KB: Well, did you find her? KR: I did. I got her into Witness Protection, but…that was the stupidest thing I'd ever *laughs* done as a cop. [Beckett smiles and shakes her head.] KR: Until the day Jerry Tyson got the drop on me and stole my weapon. KB: KR, looking mad again: Carver is a jerk…but he's got a point. (except it wasn't you being stupid it was someone beating u up, which, idk if that's any better.) & yk what, mature of him to admit that a jerk has a point. KB, softly: Come on. *points with her head* My knowledge of where things are sucks. I see them coming out of the break room but idk where it is. I need a floor plan.

I love getting a bit of ryan history. I also like his voice here. There is a significant amount of vocal fry, which usually happens at the end of speaking or when getting quieter. He's tired.

KB, probs cheering him up by taking him around: You up for a trip to Chinatown? KR, serious: Hell yeah. JE, probs also trying to include his friend, besides, ryan always is with espt: Yo. Uniforms at Grand Central caught a break. They found a clerk who works at a mailbox center around the corner who says he rented a box to Jane on the day she died. I'm gonna go check it out. You want to roll with me? KR, with his big sister: No, I'm with Beckett.

KB: Wading through 4 years of prison records it's…a lot of work. RC, the man who tails sexy beckett & skips out on paperwork: I don't mind. bc he feels guilty & also wants to help his friend

Love chinatown

*focuses on That Guy's face for a sec* *they sit down* clifford (retroactively): please, sit Wow boys lookin real tiktok-like & this is in what 2012? Bad cop, ryan was right. Unless cliff is lying. Philip being vocal. You REALLY ruled out carver? wow acab. Ur household staff is on ur payroll u'r mafia ofc they can confirm ur alibi. Say thank you, pigs!

Lots of files castle bringing home Girl u'r going to go to college shut up again with the not really. I love when the b plot comes in.

did ryan change his shirt today? JE: She was looking to get out of town, but she wasn't going alone Ah the good old days when your doctor makes you go to the desert or the seaside, "you're dying & the only cure is a vacation" I mean like we need to start doing that again. My mom: prescription label? The bottle: *actually doesn't have one* you can TELL he's too tall for the clothes? That would be a weapon <3 nice transition.

wait different clothes, castle's already home, it must have transitioned to the next day lil bro: rhyming. Guy, alibi, lie

KB: Castle, we just got some bad news, so no hypotheticals. Just give us a name. RC: Well, I have to start at the beginning-- KB: Name. RC: Jin Hai Li Chang. KB+KR: ? KB: Okay, start from the beginning. RC: Thank you. So I realized last night, 3XK would never give a cop's gun to a friend. A--a gun that hot would be a--a curse, not a blessing, but he would give it to an enemy. Oh yeah, where I live all the chinese kids have their english name legally there as well as their chinese name legally there. Tyson is insane. KR: But...Philip and Tyson were sworn enemies. Why would Philip accept the gun? RC: The two eventually became friends. KB: It happens. (boys) RC: Not with Jerry Tyson. That guy doesn't have any friends. He's a psychopath. He wanted payback and he was willing to wait. So insane.

student tutor is nit romeo & juliet, informant gang is romeo juliet, student teacher is fanfiction Why is espt talking but the cam is in ryan? I get it this is a ryan centric ep but I want to lipread

Ryan *all philosophical*

FM: You here to let me out? KR, sleeves rolled up: Not to let you out, Finn. To set you free. FM: (scoffs/laughs) You cops, man. What's that supposed to mean? "Set me free"? KR, sitting down chill: The truth, Finn. The truth sets you free. (all catholic-like) I've been looking for it all night. I finally found it. Who knew the truth would be hiding in a juvie report from 1996? *crosses legs* You got grabbed up moving paper for a Chinatown bookie. Do you remember who bailed you out? Hmm? Clifford Lee. You've been working for the Lees for years. Little jobs, because, well, Finn, let's face it, you're kind of a screw up. But you wanted more. So when you found out Ben Lee needed a tutor, you recommended your ex, Jane, thinking it would earn you points with the family. And you watched it all go sideways. Jane and Ben fell in love, *sits up* decided to leave town. You thought, what if the family blamed you? (I thought he DID kill her actually) Because no one leaves the family business. Not even for love. So, you tried to make her change her mind, *stands up* and you fought, but you couldn't change her mind. So, you made a call to Philip, and then Philip went and got Jane. [Ryan slams the evidence bag with Jane's cross necklace against the cell gate.] KR: Remember this, Finn? I talked to her mother. *Finn has started to cry* She says you gave this cross to Jane on her 21st birthday. She was holding it when she died. For comfort. Because she knew she was gonna die. She was so afraid. Oof my folk catholic heart, this hurts so good.

The staring contest between ryan & philip WOAH LOOK AT THOSE TWO FACE TO FACE SO CLOSE STANDING LIKE THAT DANG

I mean yeah, keep the heat on you might get smth, but they might sue bc u r harrassing them. Ryan lower your voice when talking to your boss like that VG, calmly: Take the rest of the day off, Ryan. I've actually been thinking for a while that Ryan should not be on this case. *ryan stalks off real fast* VG, while he's out the door: You need to clear your head! (he does.) JE: *looks at her then also stalks out* *castle follows* KB: *uses two fingers to sassily close the door behind her*

*they all sit for a sec bc nobody knows how to proceed* *Ryan grabs his gun & coat & whatever from his desk and walks off* JE: Where're you going? KR: I'm gonna do just like the Captain said, take the rest of the day off. *flips his keys in his hands* KB: JE: *follows ryan*

This scene reminds me of when espt went with Ike & ryan followed him. It's just like that moment. JE: Hey. Wherever you're going, I'm going with you. KR: It's my fight. JE: And you don't want me getting involved. It's my case, too. And you're my partner. (<3 <3 <3) KR: I'm taking a run at Ben Lee. JE: The Lees will have him locked down. I'm betting his old man won't let him go out in public alone. KR: Then I guess we can't go in there looking like cops.

Oh

Oh my

[Ben Lee does his homework, watched by the bouncer/bodyguard from the dim sum. Esposito comes in dressed like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.]

(tho college does have ppl of all ages) JE: Oh, snap! Is that Philip? JE: Yo, what's good, son? I ain't seen you in a minute. Man, how've you been? BL: He thinks I'm my brother. STUDIERS: Shh! Quiet. BL: Happens with the Gwailo. JE: What's up? BODYGUARD: Move along. JE: Man, why you touching up on me? Hey, man, you better check your totem. Hey, Philip, tell them that we boys. Tell your boy, Thor, that we boys. BODYGUARD: Go outside. You can call Philip on his cell later. [The bodyguard casually wrestles Esposito out of the library.] JE: Philip, tell him! You've changed, Philip.

Ok so a note on the costumes: in lotr & the hobbit they dressed ppl up in costumes that made them look shorter, the actors weren't actually THAT short, but their clothes created that illusion. This is what is going on here

& while espt looked insane, ryan looks somewhat normal. What's up with his hair tho? Ryan puts the pic in his pocket oof

KB: What the hell were you two thinking, going to see Ben Lee when Gates specifically said "stay away"? (gates DID say to stay away bro) JE: Who's gonna tell her, Beckett? Not me. Ryan, are you planning on telling the Captain what we did? KR: Not me. Castle? RC: Who, me? No way. *while taking a photo of them dressed up like that XD* KB: Nice, smartass. My question is, why did they go to the precinct dressed like THAT? also where did they get these outfits? I can see that Ryan would have this stuff but espt looks insane. If u didn't want gates to find out, don't come back looking like... that & then gates comes out like "detective ryan there's someone here ot see you" meaning she knows he's here & she sees him looking like this & knows ben has asked to see him.

Remember that time that girl on tumblr was like watching a movie with a sexy guy in it & she clenched her jaw so hard she had to see the dentist? Yeah that's how I feel.

Ryan's got a tshirt on, I ain't ever seen him like that. Ben just has a folding table in the middle there to study at? wtf bro? tbh I understand Philip: Sometimes it's a gift, not knowing the truth. RC: Ben was supposed to lead Philip to a confession, not force a confrontation. Well he knows how the mob works this is the way to get it No philip KNOWS to dance around it & he knows it's right wow that's a heck of a threat ... & it tipped philip off The music is great btw, who's the composer?wair wati wait philip just pulled a gun on his own bro? (tho he didn't seem to take the safety off or bring up the bullet) Bruh he put his hands behind his back so u could cuff him, you throw him to the ground like that? WOAH BEN PULLED A GUN I like how philip still cries "ben no" when ben gets shot. Still cares When do you do chest compressions? I just looked it up. The internet is great. "If they do have a pulse but aren't breathing, give them CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) until help arrives." I thought you only gave chest compressions if they had no pulse. "If there is no pulse or breathing within 10 seconds, begin chest compressions." I thought that there was smth LIKE cpr but just for breathing.

Castle's smile... Poor guy, his deal he wants 15-25? Wow that's usually smth ppl try to get OUT of KB: with parole in 10 for giving us Tyson's new alias and I need to give the D.A. a recommendation. This might be our chance to get 3XK, Castle. RC being smart: No. It's a setup. Jerry Tyson gave that gun to Philip Lee knowing he would use it, so there's a good chance he knew we'd eventually get to Philip. KB: Maybe. So what? RC: So, nothing Tyson told Philip would be the truth. Giving Philip Lee a good deal for bad information? That's just another win for Jerry Tyson. KB: Are you sure? RC: Sure enough. Jane Herzfeld deserves justice. *gets up*Life in prison for Philip Lee. No deals. We'll get 3XK. And we'll do it right. KB: KB, smiling: Damn, Castle. Look at you, thinking like a real cop.

KR & JE are taking down the murder board. JE watches KR.

KB: Hey, guys? Hey, you could look a little happier. Today was a win, right? (except ryan said he would be ok ONCE THEY GOT 3XK IN CUFFS.) KR: Well, I keep thinking about Seth Carver, sending Jane into the Lee's all alone, no backup. Do I really get to call myself a better cop? RC: You are a better cop, Kevin. (OOF THE FIRST NAMES) You're a better man, because you didn't send him in there alone. JE: Hey, there's your boy. [Ryan turns around to see Ben Lee escorted in by a Witness Protection officer.] KR: Ben. Good to see you back on your feet. JE: Hey, that was a pretty impressive performance back there. RC: Yes, you have a future in stunt work, my friend. (So HOW MUCH of that was a performance?) KR: Guys, this is Marshall Mike Drooen from Witness Protection. He's escorting Ben to his new home in Los Angeles. MIKE DROOEN (nods): Detectives. Ben, your plane leaves in an hour. BL: Thanks. I…just need a minute. [The others give Ben and Ryan some space.] BL: Thank you. I wouldn't have had the courage to do what I did without you. KR: Well you have your life back now. Live it on your own terms. It's what she wanted. [Ryan hands Ben a picture of live Jane. Ben leaves.]

Castle: *clears his throat loudly while preparing drinks* RC: Let's, uh… keep this party a little quiet though, alright? If the Captain hears, I'm sure she'll blame me. KB: Who's gonna tell her? Not me. You? JE: Nope. KB:And what about you, Ryan? KR: Mm-mm. KB: Well then, I think we're good.

Bro they already made a toast Mum guessed this was his wedding speech. To bravery and commitment. To love and sacrifice.

[trixiedeckerstar]

Caskett appreciation week 2020 | Day 3: favorite near-death experience ⟶ Resurrection/Reckoning

[byrneinlove]

Talking Heads with Alex Weir, Bernie Worrell, Dollette MacDonald, Steven Scales, Lani Weymouth, Laura Weymouth and Chika Sato photographed for Music Life Magazine in a hotel room 

Tokyo, Japan April 1982

[pollylynn]

“You two are a walking fairytale.” —Betsy Sinclair/Lanie Parish, The Blue Butterfly

Title: Hard Boiled Rating: T WC: 750

She’s all smiles as they stand shoulder to shoulder in Joe and Vera’s—or Jerry and Viola’s, rather—slightly dingy hallway waiting for the elevator. It looks good on her. Not that there’s much that doesn’t look good on her. He smiles in turn, a champagne-bubble grin that comes all the way up from his toes. She catches him at it.

“What?” she says. She narrows her eyes, but the smile stays.

“What what?” he asks, all innocence. The elevator arrives, and he moseys on in.

“You were staring.” She eyes him from the hall. She dips one toe into the space between the doors as though she’s not entirely convinced she’ll be joining him on the ride down.

“And you were giving me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket,” he shoots back in his best rapid-fire noir, well before he can think through the wisdom of it. He watches her eyes go wide and her ears go red. The temperature in the slightly dingy hallway goes up roughly two hundred degrees, and the champagne-bubbles pop. “That’s, um, Marlowe. Phillip Marlowe. Um …” He swallows. “I mean, it’s Raymond Chandler, but …”

“Farewell, My Lovely,” she says cooly as she steps into the elevator. “Yeah, I know.” She punches the button that’ll carry them down—back to the real world—but she turns on sharp heel toward him, and there’s something about the way she’s holding her body that says she’d like to linger where they’ve been this last little while, with its smoky nightclubs and back alley evening gowns. “I’m not allowed to smile?”

“When’s the last time ‘allowed’ was in the picture with you, doll?” He kicks back against the elevator wall, tugging an invisible fedora down over his brow.  

She laughs—champagne-bubbles-all-the-way-up-from-her-toes laughs. It breaks the mood as the elevator moves jerkily downward, but he might like the one that settles over them now even better. It’s quiet and comfortable. Not Phillip Marlowe and Miss Anne Riordan with her hat tipped to an angle of forty-five degrees, but Nick and Nora Charles headed home for a nightcap by wordless mutual agreement.

She breaks that mood, too, though. Just before the elevator doors open to spill them out into the cracked-tile, battered-mailbox world of Jerry and Viola’s—most definitely not Joe and Vera’s—lobby, her hand twitches out like she means to jam a fist on the big red STOP  button. She doesn’t, but she pivots to face him. She blocks his path, filling the whole space the doors leave gaping as they roll open.  

“Thanks, Castle,” she says.

“For what?” he asks.

He studies her as she stares down at the cracked-tile floor, at her own hands, twisting shyly together at her waist. He really doesn’t know what she means. It’s his favorite mystery, his favorite mood yet. 



“For Joe and Vera’s story,” she says. Her ears go red again. “For finding the ending.”

“It’s a good one, isn’t it?” He falls into step beside her as she turns to make her way through the lobby. “Good enough you’d think a dame’d be grateful enough to buy a guy a drink.”

“You would think that, wouldn’t you?” She doesn’t look at him. She shrugs into her coat against the chill and turns her face away so he has only the barest glimpse of her profile.

“Two days ago, I woulda held out for it,” he says as he hitches his shoulders and drops back into the persona. It’s something in the spaces between Phillip Marlowe, Sam Spade, Joe Flynn. It’s something that makes her smile into the glittering winter night. “But there’s was no point in dialing that number, not with this dame, so I caved. I crumbled. I went down like Jimmy Doyle in Cleveland. I opened my mouth and some pencil-necked kid’s squeak came out.”

He turns to her just as they step into a copper pool of street light. He rides the moment, impulsively tugging her by the elbow to swing her around so they’re face to face. She’s all  smiles as she peers up at him through a dramatic flutter of lashes. It looks good on her. His tongue-in-cheek narration turns prophecy. HIs voice comes out a full octave higher than he’d like it to.


"Hey, sister, any chance a tomato like you’d be caught dead tipping a few with a palooka like me?“

images via homeofthenutty