#Howard Jackson

[polyphanes]

On Poimandrēs

The classical Hermetic literature (the Corpus Hermeticum, the Asclepius, the Stobaean Hermetic Fragments, etc.) generally take one of several formats: a monologue-type musing or speech (e.g. CH III or CH VII), a letter from a teacher to a student or between students sharing their wisdom (e.g. CH XIV or CH XVI), or a dialogue between a teacher and student (e.g. CH I or CH IV).  By far the most…

[abs0luteb4stard]

W A T C H I N G

ERNIE HUDSON in one of his first roles!

8 years later he'd be in Ghostbusters!

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Human Tornado (1976)

Dolemite is back and he’s… better than before? worse than before? Hard to say. One thing’s for sure, The Human Tornado is not a good movie but it sure is fun to watch. With great quotable lines, cartoon characters for villains, a self-deprecating sense of humour and plenty of technical flubs for you to poke fun at, it’s continuously enjoyable and always in new ways.

After Dolemite (Rudy Ray Moore) is caught in bed with the racist sheriff’s wife, he is framed for her murder. On the run with his friends, they head to California to meet Queen Bee (Lady Reed), a succesful club/brother owner. The local mob boss, Joe Cavaletti (Herb Graham) isn’t too happy about his diminishing profits and has kidnapped two of her girls. Dolemite and his impossible charm & virility is just what she needs to find out where they’re held.

You might consider this a better film than “Dolemite” because the script is better organized than its predecessor's. Moore’s trademark rhyming standup is still here, but instead of the plot coming to a screeching halt in a parking lot so he can impress people who just happen to be there, we get a scene setting up his newfound success as a comedian before the plot kicks off. His patented expressions and speech mannerisms are peppered throughout as ways for him to express his disdain for others (you rat-soup eatin’ mother f#cker!) or his surprise (b*tch, are you for real?!) writing them down does not do them justice. His delivery is hilarious. Something must be said about the film being perfectly aware of what it is. On one occasion, Moore/Dolemite breaks the fourth wall and re-plays one of the film’s “better” stunts to prove to us that he really did do that jump. The racist Sheriff on his tail is so racist and so over-the-top he might as well be an R-rated Yosemite Sam. It’s hard not to laugh at him or at the scene where we learn why Dolemite is called The Human Tornado.

Everything that made Dolemite a bad, but enjoyable picture is here too. The fight choreography is awful. Kicks and punches obviously miss by a mile and scenes are clearly sped up to make them seem more dynamic. Anyone with eyes can tell Moore could never, ever defeat the enemies the way he does in this film - martial arts training or not. As for the writing, "amateurish" is a generous term. When Dolemite and his buddies get to California, the film wastes time by having them wander from one place to another, looking for Queen Bee. It’s almost as if the clubs they visit are only there because they helped pay for this shoddy production. It makes you wonder how much of what you see was made “bad” on purpose, which makes it delightful. There's a psychedelic sex scene during the second half whose setup is ludicrous. I’ve seen more realistic scenarios in XXX-rated films. You think it’s just a gag but the follow-up is trying to be artsy in such a weird way it kind of makes you want to see the whole thing again, just to determine how you should feel about it.

There’s A LOT of nudity throughout, which might make some viewers uncomfortable. I say if you can’t be good, be sleazy. It makes up for the lack of over-the-top and shoddily-created gore I usually like to see at this level of filmmaking. Some of the intentional gags get tiresome pretty quick, however. Dolemite doing fake screams while revving himself up for a brawl is smile-worthy - at best - the first time around. Whenever he does it again afterward, you start reaching for the tomatoes.

I must also speak to you of another scene, one of my favourites because it unintentionally sends the wrong message. Dolemite and his (mostly useless) buddies are hitchhicking to California. They realize no one in America will stop their car to pick up this many Black men at once. It’s a harsh truth. So what do they do? All of them but one hide in the bushes and when a car stops, they pull out a gun, hold the driver hostage and force their way in the car. Guys! THIS is the reason why people don’t stop their cars to pick up Black hitchhickers!

With stereotypes aplenty, too many bare breasts to count, action scenes that’ll have you howling, a ridiculous plot and genuine enthusiasm from people who really wanted to make the best, most entertaining film they could, The Human Tornado is a great movie to sit down and watch at with friends. It’s what Moore would’ve wanted and he probably wouldn't even mind that you're laughing at the film, rather than with it. (April 9, 2021)

[cherryblossomshadow]

Image description under the cut:

[Image ID: screenshot of text reading:

I value the fact that English has two parallel vocabularies - the Germanic vocabulary and the Latinate vocabulary. For example, we have the word undersa, and then we have submarine. Or underground and subterranean, all-powerful and omnipotent. So we can shift registers. We can say something in a very plain, blunt, Anglo-Saxon way, like "I will not do that" - all Anglo-Saxon monosyllables. Or we can say it in a fancier, more distance, abstract, Latinate way, like "I prefer not to permit myself to approach such a notion." Or, in a passage of plain Anglo-Saxon, you can throw in one Latinate word, unexpected, to great effect.

/end ID]

lydia davis

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[thegoosiestlucy]

argylle is very fun and very musically unhinged and very camp and you should all go see it in cinemas

[henricavyll]

I want all assets on them now. I need her to write the next chapter.

ARGYLLE (2024) dir. Matthew Vaughn

[scaryrabbit]

ARGYLLE (2024) Dir: Matthew Vaughn

[rockclimbinglover12107]

So true, and so sad.

[raphael-angele]

Someone please draw this as Percabeth

[must-be-mr-boggins]

Imagine Bilbo and Thorin fighting Azog together…! The true Power Couple™️ of Middle Earth, honestly.

[nkp1981]

Get To Know The Characters In "Argylle":

Press on the pic to get the full size

[yourfavaschips]

thank you guys for 500+ followers! have some cartel + courtroom shenanigans

[shyjusticewarrior]

I've seen people interpret "I do my therapy" as Tim goes to therapy, but have we considered he may be therapizing himself?

[yonemurishiroku]

AU in which Alabaster C. Torrington meets Nico di Angelo at May Castellan's house as both decide to check on her after Luke dies.

And it's a peculiar sight. May Castellan is still far from sane. Claymore is, well, dead, and alive all at once. Nico and Alabaster are technically enemies still, and yet, at least they are lonely together in a world where no one wants them.

And somehow, the neighbors would see them and think, "Oh, so the crazy lady next door does have a family". And May Castellan would smile, listening to the two children bickering in her living room as she makes the sandwiches.

[drksanctuary]

Ok last one so I can be a completionist @titan-army-week

PART 7: Family

After what feels like hours he doses off…memories of Celina flooding him. Her smile,the way she cheered when she got a potion to have the exact reaction she wanted. How she would proudly show off her new concoctions to Alabaster. He also had thoughts of Shreya with her watchful eyes, reading auras almost psychic-like in her interpretations of the smallest movements. He remembered Eva’s mastery of mist manipulation…and how much she liked horses. He thought of Brandon’s struggle with runes, how it frustrated him that it didn’t come as easy as spell-casting. Not every part of Magic comes easy to every one.

/That’s easy for you to say/ a voice in the back of his head prods at him.

What? …

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re good at every part Alabaster.” Lou Ellen said, directing a tone at him that is somehow both petty and full of wisdom and maturity.

“Just let me talk to him,” Al said starting toward Brandon’s bunk.

Lou Ellen stood in his way. “No,” she said, “Just give him some space Al.”

“But if I knew what the problem was I could fix it-“

“That’s exactly the problem, Al.”

“We can figure it out together!” Al stepped to the side.

“It’s not what he wants.” Lou moved in front again.

“But I can-“ Al strode forward,

“Make it worse,” Lou said. Finally resorting to physically pushing him away. Her eyes glowed purple.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re the most powerful, the strongest child of Hecate…”

“Yeah which is why I am qualified to-“

“Gods could you just let me finish?!”

Alabaster heaved a sigh. An exaggerated one.

“It’s hard to be our best when your around.”

“Our?”

“Yes”

“Why? Lou you’re second strongest…I’d say you’re doing your best just fine.”

“Hardly second, Magic wasn’t as intuitive to me, I had to work SO HARD. Brandon is the same way. But Al, he cares so much about making a good impression.”

“Exactly, I know exactly what impresses mother, so if I help him-”

“Gods you’re so stupid,” she said her palm to her forehead.

***

“Well then explain it to me” Alabaster said, fighting the urge to stop her from packing. “Explain to me why you are deciding to leave us when we need you.”

“You proved just fine you don’t need me,” Lou scoffed, closing her suit case a little harder than she intended. She was just so mad. So frustrated.

“What?? Because of one game? come on Lou, are you that much of a sore loser-“

Lou turned on him eyes flashing purple and green.

This gave Alabaster pause he’d only ever seen her use purple. A strong purple but never green. Never had she been able to use the strongest of the magic glows.

He was tempted to say, “See? You grow stronger everyday!” but the way she glared at him was more than a petchulant loss of a silly training game. She looked like she was going to cry…or rip him apart…or both.

“You think,” she said, advancing on him, “that I’m referring to the game?”

“I-had” Al swallows, “up until you glowed at me like that.”

“You are so smart, Al…I don’t know how your also so fucking stupid.”

“And I still don’t understand why you think it’s ok to abandon us when we need you.” Alabaster said, his own frustration growing. He didn’t like being called stupid.

“Like I said, you don’t need me,” Lou Ellen continued, “You already have a second strongest, and it’s not me!”

Al scoffed. “Lou, do you think that mom wants Marina to fight in a battle with me? While she has raw power and talent she’s hardly ready to-“

“Oh! You see, there it is!” Lou said, smugly.

“What? Theres what?? I gave all of our siblings their assignments based on where they’d be most useful and most safe! Do you want me to put a little eight year old girl in the line of fire? Perhaps you are the stupid one!” Alabaster seethed.

“I never…said who I thought the second strongest one was” Lou said

“You-“

“But you knew.”

“Well- I mean, I-“

“I don’t want to hear it Al, you think she’s stronger than me,” Lou said. And she seemed truly hurt by the sentiment.

“Well she has a lot of potential is what I was trying to s -“

“No.” Lou Ellen cut him off, “it’s what you said.”

“I thought you didn’t care about the ranking, Mom wants us to be a team, not infighting! The strongest protects but we all contribute.”

“And mom only ever really talks to you! She hasn’t spoken to any of us more than once!”

“Is that what this is? You want more validation from Mom?”

“No! I just…I have seen how you get Al. So focused. So sure you are right about things, but you don’t understand that not all of us have that… and the rest of us aren’t Marina, ok? We aren’t all your little prodigies!”

“Marina has probably heard from mother the least, and you want to compare clout there?”

“I don’t care about moms attention Al! We all care about one thing!”

Al was confused. Winning the Titan war? Their mother getting a throne? “Equality for all demigods, not just Olympians,” Al said, so sure he is correct.

“No Al.” Lou said, her things all packed. She grabbed it all, ready to leave she started for the exit but pauses at Al’s shoulder who retracts his attempt to stop her when he sees her purple and green glowing eyes bore into his own.

“Your loyalty is to the cause. Ours? ….We all care so so much…” Lou said, in a sharp whisper. “About what YOU think of us.”

Alabaster inhaled sharply, he expected her to shove him, but honestly this hurt more. Lou Ellen walks past him.

“S-since when do you care what I think of you?”

“I always have,” Lou said, “But don’t worry…I’ll get over it.” She turned and headed out.

Al wanted to be petchulant. To say “Fine go” but all he could do was default to what he always did for his siblings.

“Lou!…” Al called after her, “If you’re going to go, at least don’t go to Camp!…it’s not safe there….“

The visions of Camp half blood burning returned to him.

“Lou??” He called again, but she was already gone. He was…

***

Alone. Al is alone.

Luke is dead. Silena is dead. Ethan…there’s no way he could’ve survived that fall…Ethan is…dead.

Alabaster looks left and right of the battle theater they’re in. It’s over. They’ve lost. This…wasn’t supposed to happen.

He can’t find his siblings anywhere on the battlefield. When he’d ordered the retreat some monsters turned on them. He told them to hide while he fended them off. He stands now, alone…monster ash swirling at his feet. On instinct he heads to Marina’s safe reinforcement site.

He turns the corner to find Ares’ gigantic form casually strolling along. He seems to be surveying the damage of the battle with the cheer of someone meandering through the park on a warm summer day. Al sees the god start to pick his teeth with a small gold sword.

Marina’s sword.

When Ares moves to the side…Alabaster sees it. Or rather he doesn’t see it. The small building…the reinforcement site…was gone. Clobbered down to the foundation stones by what looks to be a giant flaming sword that now lies in the scabbard on that assholes hip. There looks to be bodies…and blood.

Alabaster is in attack mode before he can fully register it. He activates one of the traps Brandon had set on the perimeter knocking the Olympian bastard to the ground and covering him in a green net.

He draws his sword and charges the runes until they’re practically dripping with magic. He runs over and stabs it into the gods neck.

“Argh!!” Ares growls

The wound was not deep enough . Shit.

“Who the fuck are you?” Ares says

“Why?” Is all Al can manage

“Why what?” Ares says flexing his neck muscle to push Al’s sword out.

Al smacks it in and activates all the damage runes he has. It goes deeper into the flesh with a sick squelch as ichor splurts out.

“Ow! fuck!” Ares curses, his skin starting to glow faintly.

“WHY DID YOU KILL THEM??! THE BATTLE WAS OVER! WHY???!!??”

Ares chuckles. Apparently Alabasters suffering was amusing to him.

“My job punk…snuffing out the resistance!” He says and his skin starts to glow brighter with yellow light.

Al averts his eyes the yellow light gets mixed with green. He had been certain that he used the last of his magic. Where is -

He is picked up and mist traveled away before he can understand it and he arrives somewhere and appears to be…

***

Alone.

The adrenaline is still thrumming through him when he registers where he is. The black tumbled throne. He looks around for the sibling that brought him here. He hopes for Marina. But all he sees no one. He whirls around, doing a full 360. But when he turns again, suddenly he sees:

“Mom?”

“Shhh” Hecate reaches out to brush his hair with her hand.

“Mom! they kiled them!! They’re dead…Brandon, Eva, Shreya,…m-Mari-” he chokes.

“Alabaster,” she says softly but firmly,“I know, it’s a great terrible loss but you have to be quiet.”

“Why?!” Alabaster screeches.

“Because we are deciding your fate, boy.”

Zeus, Hera, Ares and Hermes stood before them.

“Please.” Hecate says, “Spare him.”

Ares scoffs.

“Please.” Hecate reiterates…pleads.

“We have made our decision,” Hera says very diplomatically. “He may live, but he is never to set foot on the camps or he may corrupt the remaining siblings…as he did the others.”

“Fu-“ Alabaster tries to curse but Hecate’s hand covers his mouth.

“Thank you, my Lords and Lady.”

Al is mist traveled again.

“Fuck them!” Alabaster says.

“Alabaster,” Hecate says.

“I’m going to to destroy them.” He says shaking.

“Alabaster.” she admonishes.

“I’m going to burn Olympus to the ground!” Alabaster tells the green glowing in his eyes erupting into small green flames. The strongest level. He seethes. Smoke coming out of his mouth.

“My son-” Hecate says, this time with concern. “I’m sorry…I could only do so much…but you need to keep living… please.” she hands him something flat, a piece of paper maybe. “Don’t forget them and you’ll never be…”

****

Alone… after all of it…the Titan army, survival with no camp, Lamia…and here he was. Alone again. His bullet proof vest ripped to shreds. Claymore …is dead. It’s happened again.

He has a small notebook with the spell in it. The one that will keep Lamia away from him. On the last page of the notebook is a picture he’d taped there when he incurred his last loss. He thought he’d learned his lesson.

The picture showed him and his siblings…he’s even managed to wrangle Ethan into it. He had a knack for that didn’t he…getting people to go places they normally wouldn’t.

“I’m sorry” he says for what must be the thousandth time. But this time it stings anew. “I’m so sorry,” he sobs, “I don’t know what to do…what am I supposed to do???” he hugs his legs.

They don’t answer…of course they don’t. They just appear as vague shadowy mist figures around him. Trying to comfort him. But he is inconsolable. He’s gotten yet another person killed by involving them in his problems…how is he supposed to go on.

“Don’t let it happen again?” a voice says

Alabasters head shoots up. His mist forms never spoke to him unless he wanted them to.

“Claymore??” He says incredulously.

“Hey, kid.”

Al wipes the tears from his eyes.

“How are you here?”

“You’re mom wanted me to stick around….watch after you. I figure I’d be a better guardian then your fake father in that card.

Alabaster nods, “Yeah, probably.”

“So…you ready to help an old man find out some truths?”

“Yeah,” Alabaster says.

He looks down at his family photo, just underneath it, a new mist card appeared. One with a sketch of Dr. Howard Claymore.

Maybe, Al thinks, Maybe he’s not alone and this…is the start of his new Family.

The end????

(Probably not find out more in Lifting the Mist curse Comic or Son of Magic volume 2) hahahaha