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gracieheartspedro · 1 year ago

Text

Trash Talk

abby anderson x fem!reader

description: you and abby anderson go waaayyy back, and she can't stand you. after being distant for years, you can't help but pick on her and get under her skin. you can't help yourself. maybe it's those god damn arms and that cute smile she makes sometimes. so, why not try to bully her enough so she will take you to bed?

word count: 7.1k

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, nsfw, smut, wlw, some slight bullying, threatening of one's life, murder (reader kills scars), use of guns, dom!abby, fingering, eating out, shower sex, use of a strap on, dirty talk, abby calls reader tons of names, major teasing!!

author's note: first abby one shot. let's goooo! lemme know what you guys think. I really liked writing this and I'm down for any requests for abby or ellie!! love you guysssss <3

“Are you the one braiding your hair every day or do you have some pretty girl do it for you?”

Abby’s head spun over how dumb your questions had been all afternoon. Luckily for her, you were being quiet up until this moment.

You are propped up beside her on the back of the jeep, your rifle slung across your lap. You were itching to get a rise out her today, it was fun to watch her eyes roll into the back of her head.

She cocks her gun, her eyes trained forward and away from you. She’s always on edge when you’re out on patrol. Her furrowed eyebrows and tense shoulders made your relaxed and at ease body language look unjustified.

“I braid it myself,” Is all she says. You train your eyes to watch her muscles flex as she inspects her gun closely. You contemplate your answer, do you ask if she can braid yours next or do you ask if that’s how she got those insane arms of hers.

You don’t make a decision by the time Manny slams on the breaks, unexpectedly. Abby’s body flies into yours, sliding across the bench and crashing into your side. You wince, snapping your head forward to the road.

“We got company, chicas!”

You duck when the first shot hits the steel of the car. Abby grabs your waist, dragging you down onto the bed of the SUV. She didn’t want your death on her hands, knowing Isaac would never forgive her for losing his best gunner. You roll away from her grasp, propping your rifle forward where Manny is driving.

Scars on horseback surround the road in front of you.

They are easy to take out when they are high up, for you at least.

“Manny, duck your head!” You holler, glancing back at Abby who’s hand is still somehow on you. She looks conflicted, her gun still loosely in her grip.

You prop your gun up, aiming at a older man on the closest horse trailing the jeep. He has a bow, which doesn’t move as fast as your bullet. You ease into the trigger, taking out the guy with a head shot. You didn’t have time to think about your reasonings for killing the guy, you never had the time to think about it. You knew that these men would kill Manny, Abby, and you, if they had the chance, so you guess the proper reaction is a bullet to the skull.

You hear Abby yelling something but your ears are ringing at the sound of you taking out each Scar one-by-one. You don’t even let them get behind the SUV, knowing they would be getting a better shot at you. Once the last one flies off the back of their horse at the impact of your bullet, you sit up.

You realize that Abby hasn’t fired a single shot.

“I think we have a flat tire! I’m gonna pull off when I find cover,” Manny explains, his voice loud over the sound of the ringing in your ears.

Abby sits up beside you, gripping the side of the bench with her left hand. She gets a good look at your completely unfazed face and it pisses her off. You never had a moment to second guess your actions and you never had an honest reaction to killing upward of 7 men. You were always stone cold and even. You weren’t always like that. You used to have some life left in your steely eyes. At least, that’s what she thought.

You were disassociated from the entire world when put in any situation that could be deemed “dangerous”. It’s almost like a completely different person took over your body. Your reactions were not your own. But when you finally came to, your bones would vibrate with anxiety and adrenaline. You were just a master at disguising it because you didn’t want everyone around you to see you as weak. You can never be weak, again.

Even if Abby took out that many men, which she has done before, she still walks away with a small inkling of guilt written on her face. You don’t even quiver at the sight of violence and death, not that she sees, anyway.

But it does eat away at you. You’re plagued with nightmares if you can ever even find sleep at night. Most nights are spent curled into a ball, staring off into space, praying the walls will just cave in and suffocate you. You hardly eat most of the time, the thought of munching on food makes you nauseous.

Manny pulls into a familiar warehouse that’s usually a stopping point for one of your patrol routes. The jeep is jittering, chugging forward with a scraping noise. You stand up when it completely stops, jumping down from the side. You sling your backpack over your shoulder and your gun strap across your other.

You watch Abby jump down after you, her impact on the ground loud. She stares at you with this annoyed look on her face.

“What’s wrong, baby girl? Mad you didn’t get a shot off?”

Your tone makes her ball her hands into fists.

“Can you shut your fucking mouth ever?”

Manny chirps in quickly after she says it, “Ay! Quit it you two!”

You bow your head, “Yeah, Abby. You need to blow off some steam. Gettin’ all worked up.”

Manny slaps your shoulder lightly, gesturing you two to get inside the warehouse. You knew you had to clear it before you settled in to discuss the next game plan. You stand there watching Abby strut towards you, her eyes scanning your body up and down.

She is only a little bit taller than you, but she’s built like an ox. When you two were acquainted, she was about your stature. Now that she needs to prove herself, she bulked up and became even more hot.

“You’re lucky Isaac needs your ass, because if were up to me, I’d send you straight to the Island and watch them pick you apart.”

Her voice is vicious and you could tell she was pissed at you for teasing her. It only made you smile in sick pleasure. You craved getting under her skin.

“Love it when you talk dirty to me, Abs.”

She ignores your comment, knowing exactly what you were trying to do. You were doing it so well, too.

You three creep inside the warehouse, stalking around the open area, ensuring there’s no one nearby to sneak up on you. Your running low on ammo, but you didn’t want to ask Abby for a new magazine. She would bitch you out for not grabbing an extra. With that in mind, you sling your rifle across your back and pull out your pistol. You cock it, which interupts the silence you three had been settling in.

“A pistol?” Manny questions, quietly. You nod slowly, discharging the magazine to make sure you had a stacked shell.

You huff, “Yeah, I’m out of hallow points for the rifle.”

Abby stops in her tracks, “You forgot another magazine, didn’t you?”

She wanted so badly to be right, especially when it came to you fucking up. You stare at her as you shove the magazine back into the grip.

“Eat my ass, Abby.”

She laughs, watching your face fall as you cock the gun again. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Manny grimaces, “Please, stop, you two. Let’s get this place clear and then figure out what we do next.”

Manny was right. You and Abby separate, both of you trailing up some stairs to the extended area of the warehouse. You check every corner on your side, ensuring no one will be sneaky and catch you all off guard. Once you all decide it’s clear, you meet up at the staircase Manny is walking down.

Manny was a good friend and a rare hookup. You had slept with him a couple times and while he was always a generous guy, he never made you cum. He always joked that it was because you liked girls better, and truthfully, he may be right. He was handsome but he never really did it for you.

Abby, on the other hand, you and her went way back and she did it for you. Before becoming Isaac’s favorite, you were pretty good friends with her. You two sat together in “school” and she taught you how to make someone pass out by putting them in a headlock. You had confided in her about your past and she was the only one who truly knew everything. You genuinely liked her and wanted so badly to tell her how you felt. But once Isaac took interest in your skill set, he trained you vigorously with his top men. You had no time for anything anymore. It pissed Abby off so much, for some odd reason. You’d think a friend would be proud that the head honcho took interest in you and wanted to make you better. But instead, Abby took it as a personal jab and started ignoring you. When you confronted her, she told you that she was too busy for friends. That, of course, didn’t stop her from having a whole ass friend group without you. When you befriended Manny, he told you that Abby only saw you as competition.

So you became even better. Not wanting to repeat the same mistake, you kept everyone at an arms length and avoided getting close with anyone. It made you withdrawn, and eventually, you realized you were not meant to be a friend to anyone. You were made to be a killer.

“So what do we do now? Go back or go to our assigned checkpoint?”

Abby’s training her eyes on Manny and Manny only. She refuses to even glance your direction. You turn your gun safety on and tuck it into your waistband.

“How far do you think we are from the checkpoint?” You question, crossing your arms across your chest.

“Too fuckin’ far,” Abby responds, still not looking at you.

You smirk, “Perfect, then let’s do that. Maybe Abby can get her finger on a trigge-“

Before you can finish your sentence, Abby’s reaching out and pulling your body towards her by your shirt. You don’t even flinch, your body just flies forward as she finally stares daggers into you. You like being this close to her, it makes the hair on your arms stand up.

“I swear to God,” She’s gritting her teeth, “If you don’t stop fucking around, I’ll kill you with my bare hands.”

You press yourself closer to her. Her fist with your balled up shirt grazes your boobs. Manny doesn’t say anything, just rolls his eyes, anticipating your response. You like this game. The one where you tease Abby and she becomes enraged by your words and eventually it comes to a tipping point. She’s always just thrown something, her manhandling you was new.

“I’d love to see you try, sweetheart,” You mutter, your face millimeters from hers, “I don’t think you’re remembering what our body counts are and who’s surpassing the other by a fucking landslide.”

“I’d love to add you to mine, that’s for damn sure,” She responds quickly, eager to one up you. You giggle at the double meaning that comes to mind. You would like to be on her body count list, for sure.

“Stop it!”

You both shoot a look at Manny who’s nudging you two apart. Abby unhands your shirt, and you step backward away from her, tripping a bit over some broken concrete. She looks you up and down with disgust.

“You need to stop acting like you’re better than everyone else,” She grumbles, ignoring Manny’s pleas for a truce.

“You need to stop acting so serious all the time! Get a grip, I’m just fuckin’ with you.”

“I said stop! I knew you guys hated one another but I didn’t know this was gonna be a who’s dick is bigger competition. You both need to relax!”

Abby’s face is twisted and you hated that you found it attractive. God, you wanted to fucking hate her.

Abby crosses her arms, flexing them right in front of you. She notices your expression change. She knew you had a little crush before, but she thought that feeling was long gone. She shoves the small inkling of optimism that you may still feel that way down.

Manny speaks up again, “We should just head back and tell Isaac we will head back out tomorrow morning. It’s going to be dark in about an hour. It’s too risky.”

“Agreed,” Abby tightens up her folded arms, “If you wanna go out by yourself, you can do that. We can tell Isaac you went awol.”

You smirk at her suggestion, “No, I want to be there to tell him you can’t pull your punches. Be way more satisfying to watch you squirm.”

“I’m glad everyone was okay,” Isaac says, his deep voice dropping an octave, “I’ll get more guys to go with you tomorrow morning. You three get back here at sunrise, okay?”

You clear your throat, “Want me to run through how to shoot a gun with Abby before we ship out?”

Manny huffs, “Come on, dude.”

“I think she’d benefit from it,” You say matter-of-factly to Isaac. You can feel Abby’s gaze burning into you. She’s leaning against the door frame, while you are seated in front of Isaac’s sprawling desk. You always felt like he only sat there to seem more authoritative. To you, he was just a man.

“Play nice, little one,” He stands up from his rolling chair to stand in front of your manspreaded legs, “You still need to prove to me that you’re loyal. Don’t think I forgot about the incident at the hospital last week.”

Your stomach drops while Abby’s ears perk up.

“What happened at the hospital last week?”

Her voice is eager, which only makes you angrier. You adjust yourself in your seat, sitting up straighter.

“She refused to kill a Scar,” He explains, teetering over you, “She shot a Wolf instead.”

“He demanded I gut a child in front of her mother. I am not going to do shit like that.”

Isaac chuckles before slamming his fist down on the table beside him, “You can and you fuckin’ will. If I get any more push back from you, I’ll get Anderson here to take you out herself.”

You stand up quickly, avoiding everyone’s gazes. You want to throw your knife into his throat, but you know that wouldn’t end well. You didn’t want to have to be on the run again.

Being humiliated in front of Abby and Manny made you feel sick. You hadn’t felt shame in so long, not even when you were reprimanded last week for shooting that guy between the eyes. You were lucky he was just some new recruit and had no family back at the Stadium. Isaac spared you because he needs you. You’re a good asset.

“We clear?”

His voice bounces off the wall. You don’t say anything, you just nod slightly and storm out of the office. You hear the door slam behind you as you swiftly walk towards the staircase. There’s men loitering in the hallway, waiting for Isaac to tell them to go kill another Scar. Pathetic, you thought.

You start to think about how didn’t want to face Abby and Manny tomorrow, but you knew better to ignore direct orders. Maybe a shower would rinse off the disgusting dirty feeling that plagued your skin.

“Didn’t know I was workin’ with a traitor today,” Abby says from behind you. You’re in the community bathrooms, cursing that it’s even a thing because you knew some shit like this would happen. You thought since it was midnight, you wouldn’t have any company. You were, of course, wrong.

Abby has her towel draped over her broad shoulder and a small container with her soaps. You were just about to strip down and take one of the spickets on the tiled wall when she interrupts your routine.

You swallow hard, not in the mood to argue with her. Even if there’s no one around, you don’t feel like entertaining anymore.

“‘M not a traitor. I just don’t kill children.”

You had very limited morals, but you drew the line at children. You remember what it was like to watch your friends get picked off by raiders when you were a kid. You remember being horrified hearing the screams of their mothers. You remember the innocence being stripped from you. You can’t stomach the idea of killing someone who has no control over their life or the decisions of others, so you don’t.

Isaac showed no mercy to any Scar, but you did and he was trying his very hardest to beat that out of you. The only reason you were stuck on the patrol with Manny and Abby in the first place was because he knocked you down to more minor runs and not the intense ones you were on before. It was your “punishment” for disrespecting authority. You were lucky to even have your head after killing that guy in front of other Wolves.

Abby grumbles something inaudible.

“You remember when we were forced to watch those daycare kids after not doing our morning mile?” You reflect, thinking back to easier times with Abby, “Imagine one of those innocent kids being gutted by a machete and it’s your own hand doing it. If a child is going to die in the name of some stupid land, I don’t want to be the one holding the weapon. Isaac can have sociopaths like you to do that.”

“Me? The sociopath? If I’m remembering correctly, they gave you the nickname Heartless after your run through on the East side a couple months ago,” Abby’s voice is venmous, “You are the top Scar killer right now. You kill and you don’t even flinch.”

“I kill people who try to kill me,” You grab the hem of your top, pulling it over your head, “I need to protect myself. And whoever I’m with. I’m not given a choice.”

“Was that guy trying to kill you? The one you shot between the eyes?”

You’re silent. She poses a good question, a question you don’t have a good answer for. You turn to face her, and the first thing you realize is her braid is becoming unraveled. You purse your lips, racking your brain for a response after being distracted. The only rebuttal is a question, something that has eaten you alive ever since it started.

“Why do you hate me so fuckin’ much?”

She cocks her head to the side, “Are you serious right now?”

Deep down, Abby never hated you. She was jealous of you. She wanted everything you had. She couldn’t stand seeing someone be better than her, especially a girl she liked. And you did everything so well. She harbored a secret crush on you for a while, even when she was with Owen. She hated that she liked you and you were leaving her behind to advance up the ranks. She only wanted your attention, truthfully. Now, since she distanced herself from you, everything you did ate her alive. While poking fun at her was your way of flirting, Abby reeled over it every night before bed. How could you be so mean?

“We were friends, Abby. I told you about my family. I told you everything, and as soon as I got in with Isaac, you iced me out. Told me you didn’t need friends,” You huff out, “I knew that was a lie then and I know it’s a fuckin’ lie now because you have friends. Lots of them. Why couldn’t I be your friend?”

“Because I can’t be friends with you!”

Her voice is high pitched, almost shaky. You take a step forward and for once she doesn’t step away from you. You’re in her space, your hip bone millimeters from her hands. Your eyes are trained on her reaction, which is just her eyes averting away from you.

“Why can’t we be friends, Abs?”

You reach up, grabbing her messy braid softly. She flinches a bit, easing into the idea of you touching her. It’s been a long time since you were this close to her without her resisting. She still won’t look you in the eyes. Your fingers travel down her mousey braid until you’re trailing her collarbone and wide shoulders. As your digits trace her bicep, she finally looks at you for a moment. The tension is palpable, your question still hanging in the air.

“You’re impossible,” She murmurs, her eyes flicking away again, “And you’re despicable. You think you’re bett-”

“Cut the shit,” Your hand stops right at her wrist and you wrap your much smaller hand around it. You know the real reason she won’t be your friend, it’s written all over her face, “You hate me because you want me, Abby. You always have. Almost as much as I want you.”

“Want is a strong word,” She chirps, “I was in a relationship when we were friends. I had Ow-”

“Don’t even say his fuckin’ name,” Your free hand tilts her head back toward your gaze. You hated that fucker for messing with your Abby, “Can you just indulge me? Admit that the reason you’re pissy with me is because you want me between your legs?”

You can feel her tense up, her jaw going slack.

“Nah, don’t think that’s what I want,” Her voice finally changes. It’s more sultry, the tone shifting with the conversation. She shakes out of your grip, bringing her hand up to your chin, “Think I need to teach you a thing or two. Shut that stupid smart mouth up for a minute.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, you’ve been a fuckin’ bitch and you need to be taught a lesson,” Hearing the words come out her mouth has your core clenching with anticipation. She’s silent waiting for you to agree, but you just stare at her with a smirk. “Do you need me to show you here or do you want me to show you in your room?”

“Why not yours?”

“Because Manny is there. Unless you want to give him a show like the slut I know you are.”

She makes the hair on your arms stand up. She scans your body as you contemplate your options. This is a moment you’d been waiting for, so you can’t fuck it up. You finally have her exactly where you want her.

You can’t be caked in dirt and grime when she’s devouring you, right?

“I need a shower,” You mutter. It catches her off guard. You swallow before continuing, “I think you need one, too. So, how about we take our showers and then you can walk me back to my room.”

She doesn’t even say anything, just begins stripping off her tank top. She’s sporting a black sports bra underneath and my God, does she look good in only a bra. You have seen her in a bra before, but never with a six pack and huge arms like she has now. She smiles at your gawking. She shoves off her cargo pants, leaving her just in her underwear and bra.

You finally come to your senses and start stripping as she walks over to one of the shower heads and turns it on. She looks excellent from the back, too, you think.

“We don’t have all night,” She groans, watching you slowly start undoing your bra, “Hurry up before I change my mind.”

You walk towards the shower head next to the one that’s running for her. She pulls the hem of her bra up and off, revealing her full chest to you. You follow her lead, undoing the back of your bra and letting your breasts free. The water is soaking your feet and you still have your underwear on. It’s almost like a competition as to who can break first and touch the other, and it wasn’t going to be you. You shimmy your underwear off, tossing both your bra and panties to the pile outside of the shower.

“Jesus Christ,” She howls as you let the water take over your body. Her eyes are glued to your chest, “It’s like they got bigger.”

You sneer at her comment, “I could say the same about you in general.”

“Yeah?” She slips off her underwear, leaving nothing to imagination anymore. She caves first, creeping into your stream of hot water with you and wrapping her large arms around your waist. Chills shoot up every part of your body when her lips dip down to leave open mouth kisses on your shoulder blade. Her hands trail upward from your hips to your stomach to your tits. You watch in disbelief when her massive hands take up most of your boobs. She cradles them in her palms before massaging you tenderly. You’re already a moaning mess, pushing your ass into her crotch.

“Let’s get you clean since that’s what you want,” She drops your boobs before reaching out for her soap. She starts to lather herself up before her hands return to your buzzing body. You let her hands wander, coating you in her pine soap. You didn’t care for the scent, but it smelled like her and you always wanted that scent on your body.

She manhandles you a bit before using your arm to twist you around to face her. She’s staring down at you, her pupils dark with desire. You realize her hair is still in a braid and resting on her bare shoulder. While she continues to rub you down, you grab the end of her braid and start to undo it.

When her wavy hair is released from the hair tie, you realize how long it is now. No wonder she keeps it braided, it must get in her way.

“May need to rebraid your hair,” You mutter, your hand still dancing around her decolletage.

“I’ll just have you hold it up while I eat you out.”

You smirk as she focuses her attention on pinching and tugging on your hard nipples. You ogle her, unsure how you got here. Earlier she was threatening to kill you, now she’s toying with your body and leaving you the wettest you’ve ever been. She backs you into the water, having you rinse off the suds.

“Abby,” You finally catch her gaze and her lips are pursed in concentration. She looks at your expression and then it finally happens. She kisses you, feverishly. You almost slip on the wet floor as she aggressively pushes you back against the tiled wall. Luckily, her arm is completely enveloping your hip, keeping you stable against her. Your bodies are wet and burning with desire, eager to touch every inch of each other. Abby pulls away, catching her breath.

“We need to speed this part up, I need to fuck you.”

You chuckle, wrapping your arms around her neck, “We are having fun though, aren’t we?”

She shakes her head, “Rinse yourself off, no more back talk.”

She pulls away from you, quickly showering herself. You don’t even wash your hair like you need to, you just watch her lather her body up, slowly circling your clit with your middle and pointer finger. She does not even realize what you’re doing until you are moaning in her direction.

“You’re a dirty little girl, aren’t you?”

She pulls your hand away from your sensitive nub, using you as leverage when she gets on her knees. She’s staring up at you, pulling you forward by your ass. She looks too good at this angle.

“Please, Abby,” You beg, wanting her to devour you whole.

“Hold my hair, baby. Just like I said.”

She nudges your knees apart, her face centimeters from your dripping core. She uses her long fingers to spread apart your pussy lips, soaking in the fact that she was the one who made you this wet. You reach down, pulling her long locks upward to get them off her shoulders. When she creeps in closer, her tongue is extended outward. As soon as it makes contact with your slit, you throw your head back, your hand full of hair loosening. She works her tongue around your pussy, pressing forward even more. She has her full face in you, her nose poking your clit every time she moves her tongue and lips.

You’ve never been eaten out like this before. She’s a starved woman, begging you to feed her your sweet juices. Your knees feel like they could give out at any moment, so you grip onto her shoulder to balance yourself. She’s switching between slurping and sucking, her mouth working magic on your senstive pussy.

Just when you think her head can’t get any better, her fingers enter the equation. She slips her long fingers between your slit, finding your hole after exploring for a moment. She guides one finger into you, then two. She’s groaning into you, watching your body twitch under her touch. She’s fucking you so fast, you can feel yourself teetering over the edge. She switches up her moves, flicking her tongue on your clit and fucking you slower. It sends you into bliss, your mouth agape as you stare down at her pressed against your core. You cry out, trying your best not to let your legs surrender to your weight.

“Yes baby,” She watches you fall apart, her finger tips swiping over your clit fast, “That’s right, cumming apart on my tongue. That’s so hot.”

Your vision is hazy, but you can still make out Abby as she stands up. Her hands rest on your waist as she brings you into a ravenous kiss. You’re still in a daze from your orgasm as she shuts off the warm water behind you. She’s guiding you out of the showers, bringing you back to your clothes and towel. She helps you by wrapping your towel around your center.

“You okay to walk back to your room?” She questions, watching you shakingly dry yourself off.

You chuckle a bit, “Why? Do you want to carry me or something?”

She gives you a smug look, “Do you need me to?”

You want to smack the expression clear off her face. The freckles that litter her face scrunch in a teasing manner, which makes you melt a bit. You continue drying off before you throw back on your pants and shirt. You would be taking them off within the next two minutes, anyway, but you had to make it through the main hallways.

Abby does the same thing before she gathers all her belongings and waits for you. As you rake your fingers through your hair, she jokingly starts tapping her foot.

“Can you relax?”

She shakes her head “no”. You roll your eyes, grabbing all your things and leading the way to your room.

Abby knew your room would be better because you were graced with a room all by yourself. Courtesy of being Isaac’s top dog.

You were vigilant about keeping a clean suite, always making sure your limited belongings had a place. You did not have people in your room often, so you were a bit nervous to have Abby Anderson in your room.

She trails behind you closely, grunting every so often to indicate her impatience. Once you're outside your room, you unlock it with the key around your neck. It was easier to keep it on your chain, you hated stuffing your pockets with loose items.

The cold air hits your skin. You were known for keeping a cold room. You always ran hot at night and you refused to sweat. When Abby walks into your suite, she starts to laugh. You lay down your towel and undergarments.

“What’s so funny?” You ask, your wet hair sticking to your shoulders.

“You haven’t changed at all,” She grumbles, tossing her stuff in a pile beside your front door. The comment takes you off guard, simply because you spent years trying to be someone different.

“Why do you think that?”

“You are still so Type A,” She’s bounding towards you, stopping centimeters from your still-orgasm-dazed body, “You always run hot. It’s fuckin’ freezing in here.”

She’s cowering over you, her hot breath getting closer to your face. Before she can kiss you, she averts her head to the crook of your neck.

“You still smell of lavender,” She kisses your pulse point before continuing, “And you need attention or else you’ll die. You thrive off pissing everyone off.”

“Especially you,” You practically moan as she continues to kiss your throat. When you say that, she lifts her head and stares down at you. She’s so symmetrical and beautiful. You loved seeing every freckle, every wrinkle of her nose. The fullness of her pink lips.

“Especially me, that’s right.”

She pulls you in again, this time using her large hands to push your ass forward, capturing your lips as you melt into her grip. You move fluidly with her direction, peeling off your clothes again and frenching her when her lips slip open. Your tongues battle but you fully submit when she slowly bites down. She’s hungry for more.

You grab onto her forearms, tugging her towards your full size bed in the corner of the room.

You always kept your blinds drawn, not allowing the large windows to expose your personal space. You’re silently thanking the angels for your obsessiveness because if someone spotted you and Abby right now, it would somehow get back to Isaac. He would have a cow if he found you two messing around. That’s too much of a distraction and you need to focus on the “mission”.

Well, right now your mission is to make Abby cum.

You two fall on the bed, her hands still resting on the curve of your ass. She groans when you pull away from her lips. You tug at her shirt, gesturing to her to rid herself of her clothes. She obliges and she’s finally naked in your bed. You could die happy.

You were too caught up in her touching you earlier, now you want to feel her. When the cold air touches her nipples, you notice them stand at attention. You practically fall into her chest, latching your mouth onto her tits, sucking the skin. She moans out, her hips reacting by pressing forward into you. You swirl your wet tongue around her areola, teasing her sensitive nipples.

“God damn,” She whimpers, her hands exploring your hips. You use your teeth, nibbling slightly as you pull away from her one boob. She falls onto her back, releasing you from her grip. You crawl on top of her, straddling her waist with your thighs. You press your slick entrance on top of her mound, dragging it back and forth, teasing her.

“You want me to touch your pretty pussy with my mouth?” You ask, resting your hands on her abs. She was so built, just tracing the outline of her 6-pack made you quiver.

“God yes.”

Her voice is deeper, her pleasure taking over her vocal chords. You grind down on her before you shimmy down her legs and settle between her thighs. You lay on your tummy, lining up your face with her middle.

She’s dripping, her entrance waiting for your fingers and mouth. You loved returning the favor, especially for women. You got off on hearing a woman chant your name as you alternate between licking and sucking. It would always boost your ego, but now that it’s Abby in your bed? You’ll be satisfied if she’s the last one to ever get in bed with you.

She talked a big game about “teaching you a lesson” but here you are, shoving your fingers deep inside her and fucking her with your tongue. You smirk at the thought, watching her face twist in delight. You swirl your tongue around her sensitive throbbing clit. You were fed off her reactions, your eagerness to make her feel good increasing the more she cried out.

You wrap your lips around her clit as you’re three fingers deep, fucking her steadily. As soon as you start the suction on her pussy, Abby is falling apart on your face. It’s a quick reaction, which gives you a bit of an ego boost. You watch her stomach flex, her jaw clench, and her mouth let out a guttural moan.

Once she catches her breath, you slide off the bed, heading to your side table. You open the drawer, searching for the one thing that Abby could use to teach you a lesson.

You pull out the black strap on you found a couple months ago at an abandoned sex store downtown. You haven’t used it yet, but you did make the effort to clean it before you tucked it away. This seemed like the perfect time for it to shine.

You show Abby, her eyes lighting up with excitement. She snatches it from you, giggling as she stands up.

“It’s like putting underwear,” You explain as she messes with the strap. It was like a thong with a dick attached. Very advanced technology.

“It’s perfect,” She whispers, sliding it over her massively thick thighs. Once she gets it on, it’s kind of silly to look at. Seeing Abby with a massive cock made you chuckle, but instead of following your reaction, it’s like it gave her a newfound attitude.

It’s like a switch goes off. Instead of slowing down after an orgasm, like you, she manhandles you and grabs your biceps. She tows you up to her naked body before she pins you down to the bed. She plants herself like a tree between your legs, the large silicone dick nudging your inner thighs. You still can see her glistening core through the straps.

“I need to watch you come apart again,” She explains as she holds the cock in her hand, “Wanna watch you cum over and over again.”

Her hair is messily over her shoulders, so when she leans down to stare down at the dick sliding between your folds, it falls in her face. She tucks it behind her ears, but it still drifts down her chest. You circle your hips, sighing at the feeling of the ridges of the dildo against your sensitivity.

“Fuckin’ hair,” She fusses. You giggle a bit, watching her throw it back over her shoulders. You nudge her shoulder, using some force to pull her over your body. She leans down, her hair falling onto your face.

“I’ll hold it for you, just make me feel good,” You murmur, using both hands to gather her hair. She gasps as you tug on her locks. You use some of the leverage you have to position her even closer to you. She reaches between your bodies and coats the cock in your slick. As soon as she teases your entrance with it, you pull her hair back. It sends her over the edge as she eases the dick inside you. It hurts a bit, so when she draws back you tell her to coat it in her saliva. She does what she’s told, spitting into her free hand a couple times and covering the appendage with it.

Once she eases in again, the stretch feels better with the lubrication. Your thighs want to clench so bad, but the way she’s resting on you, you have no way to. She draws in and out of your pussy, grunting at the impact.

It feels so good, but part of you wishes you just had her beautifully long fingers inside you.

She moves your hands away from her hair and throws her head back, tossing her blond hair back. She props your legs up, plowing into you. You’re crying out, your ears ringing with the sound of your own heartbeat.

“God, I need you to cum, baby,” She mumbles, kissing your knee as your body starts to vibrate. The cock is hitting you in all the right spots, but you need more. You reach down, using the pads of your fingers to stimulate your clit.

“Please don’t stop!”

It riles her up more, her pace quickening with every gasp. She pushes your fingers away, replacing them with her own. The pressure she applies sends your body into overdrive. Between her moans and the physicality, your orgasm hits you like a train. She fucks you through it, mumbling phrases like “that’s my good girl” and “yes baby, give it to me”.

Once it’s over, it feels like your heart may beat out of your chest. She pulls the strap out and stands up beside your bed, shoving it off her hips. You watch her closely as she props the item up on your side table. She’s careful not to mess with any of you meticulously placed knick knacks.

“You good?” She asks, her voice cracking a bit.

She wanted to say more, but as she looks at you all fucked out on your bed, she feels a pang of guilt. She should not be indulging in this type of stuff, especially when you’re going against the cause. Abby had it made here, she can’t risk anything.

“‘m all good, Abs. Do you wanna stay?”

She shakes her head negatively.

“I think I’m gonna head back to my room. We gotta be up in a couple hours.”

You notice she’s being cold, which sends you into a spiral. You want to reassure her, but you know deep down she’s already made up her mind.

You clear your throat, “Well, we can at least wake up together.”

“No, I don't think that’s the best idea,” She explains as she finds her clothes across your bedroom. She lays them on the bed beside you as she starts to dress herself. She has this look of concern on her face. It makes you physically ill, knowing it’s the face of regret.

“Well, I guess we are back to square one.”

She throws her shirt over her head before she’s gathering up her things and practically running to the door. You want to pick up the dildo and sling it at her head. You can’t believe this.

She reaches for the door before turning around to face you, “Guess so.”

PART 2 is HERE

#abby anderson #abby anderson smut #abby anderson x reader #abby tlou #abby from tlou #abby tlou smut #tlou x reader #abby anderson tlou2 #the last of us #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson x you #abby the last of us #abby x reader #the last of us 2 #gracieheartspedro

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kuromiscat · 7 months ago

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Why does no one talk about crafty reader !! :((( like imagine being married to Price or Simon, or anyone else in the 141, and there u are!!! Ur just a crafty lil wife, always making cute lil gifts or sewing your husbands clothing back together after seeing it’s got rips :(( Where is crafty reader who makes scrapbooks all through out their babies life!!

Giving him cute little gifts you’ve made over the months that he’s been gone, showing him all the Polaroids you’ve taken and all the paper or fabric you’ve bought!! Always updating him on your newest projects and all he can do is sit and listen cause he love his little wifey and all her hobbies

(Price definitely makes you your own craft room so your supplies aren’t scattered around the house :3!!)

———

The voices guysssss….the voices 😔 this is also me projecting that I just want my own craft room 😔 !!!

#cod #call of duty #cod x reader #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #john price x reader #captain john price #captain price #this can work for any of the guys tbh #cod mw2 #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #john soap mactavish #soap x reader #I want my own craft room #john mactavish

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whirlpool-blogs · 25 days ago

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whirlpool's personal fic recs, part 2

well, it's been a minute since the first time I did this, so here's some more great fics I've read since then.

(this is a totally fresh list! if by chance you see a repeat from part 1, it's only because there's been an update to it since then)

-> Please let me know if any of my links are messed up, or if I got a tumblr handle wrong!

rarepairs/3somes/from perspective of other characters:

Biggest Dick on Base by @impalachick (Crosby/Bucky) you guys. this one is soooo hot. oh the dialogue is sooooo good. as the author says, "It's canon that Croz and Egan are the two horniest guys in the 100th" and this fic NAILS it!

dancing cheek to cheek (to cheek) by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky/Buck) Curt POV and it's soooo good, equal weight is given to the Curtbucky of it all, and there's this summering electricity in the Curtgale, and the Buckbucky devotion is so real, it's a true threesome fic and author absolutely nailed it!! also start taking your chances in the same series, WHEW!

I Get A Feeling That I Never Had Before by @darkimpala1897 (Clegan+Hambone) 978 words, so it's short but sweet! Funny and original and creative, and like, of COURSE this is how Buck discovers his feelings for Bucky & Ham.

Learning Curve by @hogans-heroes Clegan through the perspective of Alex Jefferson, explores his friendships with Buck and Bucky, and his observations of them from an outside view! Really heartbreaking and sweet and touching, such a great writing style.

Pegasus by merle_p (Rosie/Bucky) Egan is an absolute horny menace and a terrible authority figure sometimes lmao, and this fic gets it! Loved the characterization in this one. And the ending is just <3

Render Me a Wreck by @almost-a-class-act (Brady/Bucky) you guysssss you GUYSSSSSSS you KNOW I love me a Brady fic and holy shit this one is IT! this one is IT!!!! absolute masterpiece that comes roaring out of the gate and never lets up. a must-read!

save yours, and take mine from me by @corrosivesaints (Brady/Bucky) another Brady fic and I loveeeeee it!!! this author absolutely nails Brady's prickly little personality and the mutual trust and attraction between him and Bucky. and not just trust to not turn each other in, trust as in knowing they need to keep each other ALIVE. which is basically love. as the author said, "guys who are not normal about each other and never will be" <3

Squared Away by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky) wheeee you know i love me some John whump, and luckily Curt is there to give him what he needs <3 such a vivid writing style, love it!

the vein in my neck adores you by @galetops (Harding/Bucky) hardingbucky hARDINGBUCKY AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! bro!!!!!! oh it's so delicious, power abuse is one of my fave tropes and John gets fuckeddddddd OVER in this one. gripping. devastating tbh.

Would You Mind? by @johnslittlespoon @nicijones (Ken/Bucky and then Ken/Bucky/Gale) HOT! hot! HOT!!!!!! oh god I was literally melting....... KenBucky is so big brained and the way the authors characterize them is just. so good. did I mention it's HOT??!!?!?!

Clegan+Marge:

A Big Surprise by @sweaterkittensahoy (PerpetualMotion) (Clegan+Marge) MARGE GETS THE STRAP OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! biggest yeah buddy ever!!!!!!!

A Horse is Not a Home by @fascinationstrt (Clegan+Marge) Lovely and sweet, explores their post-war trauma and all of them coming together to support each other and also like. literally coming together. hee hee!!

Barefoot and Bareback by @soliloquy-dawn aaaaabrhrfhgh it's so HOT and physical and playful and fun!!! love the little notes of dom/sub floating in and out, truly just feels like you're watching something sweet and sexy between 3 people who love each other!

clegan fics:

3am eternal by @feyd-meowtha 90s club scene AU, oooff it gets messy, deals with the consequences of John's substance abuse and Gale's avoidance and overall both of their lack of communication, and god!! it's so good

a thousand feet per second by anonymous Sub Gale, Dom Bucky and it's delicioussssss, Gale is not doing well <3

another version of me, I was in it by @majorbuckyegan (brianmaybrianmay) post-war, hurt/comfort sex after Bucky has a nightmare reliving running through the forest. love when Gale gently leads Bucky to where he needs to go!!

baby doll eyes by @ladybundle John gets smashed on stalag hooch and ohhh it's hot and sad and beautiful and full of yearning!!!

Baby I’m on Fire & Keep Me Forever by @oopsiedaisiesbaby Teacher Gale and Student John (not underage fic) and yeesh!!! both of them are a menace tbh and I lovedddd both of these!!!

Before the Dawn by @atlanticslide THE stalag fic, like when I envision them in the stalag, it always turns out that I am just remembering something from this fic!!! especially the parts where they are in separate compounds and talking through the fence!?!?! like ouch. like wow. a slowwww burn and it's so worth it!

Branded by @hogans-heroes Gale stalag whump and protective Buckyyyyyyyyyy <3 oh my heart!!!! so good!!!

crossroads by @shipstorms (ipsilateral) has a BoB tag but you don't need any BoB knowledge for this fic!! Bucky and his unrequited love for Gale and it's ouch....it's oh.... I definitely recommend for the beautiful writing!

diamond eyes by @vveissesfleisch (cunninglinguist) whewwwwww dom gale and sub john and it's awesome!! jealousy and desperation and then getting their shit together in the end <3

Extinct Animals by @feyd-meowtha Mad Max AU, but as someone who has 0% familiarity of Max Max franchise, I can assure you no background knowledge is needed. this fic is BRUTAL. this fic is CRAZY!! it's heartbreaking and feral and raw and everyone is clawing for survival and it's soooooo well-written!

futile devices by @drylite ohhhhhh this one will forever be famous in my mind, John gets sick in the stalag and Gale takes care of him but it's so much more than that, this fic is HUGE to me, the feelings and John's descent into his stalag spiral, it's all so beautifully written!!

He Calls Me Bunny by @johnslittlespoon modern AU, John wears a bunny costume to their college Halloween party and Gale fucks him about it <33333333333 HEART EYES FOR THIS FIC!

hit me where the heart is by @london-cowboy / @luckydeuce Ohhhhh my god this fic. THIS FIC!!! modern BDSM AU, John is a medevac helicopter pilot who once transported Gale from a horrible private plane crash, and then they encounter again years later -- but like. ALSO THERE'S SO MANY OTHER THINGS GOING ON AND IT'S ALL MIND-BLOWING!!! past fucked-up Harding/John and current Harding/Gale and that's just the tip of the iceberg. so good. sooooooo good.

i followed fires by @swifty-fox Wild West/spooky supernatural AU. suing for emotional damages!!!!!! genuinely cried from this fic. and not just sniffle sniffle dab at my eyes. I'm talking tears streaming down my face, can't see anymore, this fic is HOLY SHIT WOW.

I think the love I bear you should make you not to die by @amiserableseriesofevents (WonderGinia) soooooo heartwrenching, multiple timelines and so many times they get so close but then lose each other

if it feels like love (then it must be love) by @rangerelizabeth College AU and it's a goddamn masterpiece!! John is Gale's RA and Gale navigates dorm life and college life and a new relationship and it's just. such a great journey from start to end!

jump the gun by @swifty-fox Part 2 of Outlaw AU (highly recommend Part 1 as well, obviously!) and whoa. hits you right in the gut. love love loveeee how swifty weaves the parallels between show canon and this au, while also keeping it super fresh and creative and you never know what's gonna happen next! there's one particular line that absolutely BROKE me......such a good read

kinktober 2024 by anonymous Goddddd. GODDDDDDDDD. Every time I got an update email for this fic, it was like get hand-delivered a delicious slice of chocolate cake that also happened to encompass like every single dirty kink and fantasy I've ever wanted to read???? author is big-brained. author is living in the 4th dimension. READ THESE!!

kiss my cheek, and pretend we're lovers by @euph0riacc Modern Au - Iraq War, and it's soooo creative and the desert setting is so well-described and the whole ensemble is weaved into this new imagining so well!! truly so creative and so well-executed, highly recommend a read!

knuckleball by @drylite PIT STUFF!!!!!!! PIT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PIT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! let me tell you i was screaming pretty much through my entire reading experience of this. did i mention. pIT STUFF??????????????

let us not desert one another; we are an injured body by @irregularcollapse cannibalism fic oh my godddd oh it's sickeninggggg (positive) it's crazy (positive) it's insane (positive)!!

Looking for Eight by @weimarweekly (VoluptuousPanic) modeln rodeo AU. absolutely blows my mind, every single chapter is so perfectly written, it's vivid and it's sweet and it's truly alive!! definitely take your time to savor each paragraph...so worth it.

love means nothing (in tennis) by @irregularcollapse this was in my part 1, but it's had an updateeeeee since then, so go read it!!! gale's orthorexia and overexercising goes brrrrrr

Moecher by @inpotatoeswetrust (Razor_to_the_rosary) fantastic, very show-like dialogue, love the Curt & Bucky friendship keeping it reallll, deals with John's slippery descent into his alcohol abuse and how hard it is to pull oneself out of that path!! but also like. john jerking off to a stolen letter from Gale. dry humping. HOT!!!

never falter or fail by anonymous Post-war John is in the hospital with temporary amnesia after a flight crash, he's getting visitors from his war days, but perhaps not everyone is who they claim to be....really creative, beautiful storytelling!! i'm hooked!!!

No Proof, One Touch by @c-goldthorn sweat kink!!! pit stuff!!! oh you knowwwww I'm here for it! it's flight school and it's so sweeeeeet too i love them so much your honor

Only You Can Cool my Desire by @johnslittlespoon a one-shot in the Tough and Sweet AU (which you should totally check out!!), Gale's POV this time and oohhh overstimulated, begging, overheated John <3

Rack 'Em Up and Knock 'Em Down by @happy-days19 a whump collection, each chapter is a one-shot and super creative and varied!! love it!!

release, please (no longer on ao3) by anonymous Oh goddd I wish I knew who wrote this, if you're out there plssssss shoot me a message, I love this fic so much!!!! Gale lets John piss himself and then he lets him come and christttt. I legit have this saved on my google drive because it's just like. everything to me.

Sous Le Ciel de Paris by @rambleonwaywardson Modern Olympics AU, Gale is an equestrian and John is a gymnast, super creative and well-researched (as ALWAYS by this author!!) and also HORSIES and also JOHN INJURY! hee hee <3

Stripper, Occasionally Hooker by @donotnomi Modern AU, lawyer Gale and dancer John, this AU is everythinggggg to me!!!! corporate intrigue!! paulina and harding at the law office and ensemble at the club! I can't even put into words how sexy and hot and mindblowing stripper john is, somewhere in the realm of surface of the sun perhaps???? I LOVE THIS FIC OH MY GODDDD. I EAT IT UP. I RE-READ IT CONSTANTLY. go read it, I beg of youuuu

Wind in the Wire by @livelaughlove-write extreme gale whump in the stalag, such a great concept and love seeing the author explore it here!

windfall by @rangerelizabeth modern meet-cute, John meets Gale in a corn maze and pretends to be lost so that they can spend more time together <3 so cute!!

Wrapped Around Your Finger (You Say That I'm A Home Run) by @johnslittlespoon Gale cleans up John's face after he picks a fight, and he's a little mean about it and then they fuck about it and it's great!!!

You Don’t Ever Have to be Stronger Than You Really Are by @oopsiedaisiesbaby ABO fic yeah baby!!! except they're stuck in the stalag and they're both miserable and hungry and itching to get out and oh it hits so good!

You, Me, and the Sky by @oopsiedaisiesbaby Major Character Death, so mind the tags, heartbreaking and gripping and terrifying and beautiful and sad!

"You were doing all this to a toothpick?" by anonymous Gale's oral fixation.....yeah you know where this is going >:-)

Your Idiot by @eternallytired17 John gets hit on a mission and doesn't register it until he's literally collapsing wheeeee!!! so good!!!

#mota fic #john egan #gale cleven #john brady #curt biddick #once again mindblown at how talented this fandom is!!!#i love you allllllll #post

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amourane · 6 months ago

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I AM SO HAPPY I'VE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE SO MANY OF YOU CRY AIDVIHFADIH THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY I'M SO GLAD U ENJOY MY WRITING SM <333333

in another life

pairing: thief!seungcheol x princess!reader

genre: fluff, angst, THIS IS A SAD ENDING

w/c: 8k

summary: you loved choi seungcheol more than anything but it was a love that was bound to fail. maybe in another life the two of you could have been together.

warnings: character death

a/n: bringing one of the old ones back from httphannie, i was gonna try and improve it but i honestly already liked it so much so i just left it be. hope it breaks your heart <3

The first time you met Choi Seungcheol was when you were 12.

Sneaking around the castle wasn’t something you usually did. Technically you weren’t doing anything wrong, you were just getting some cookies. What was wrong with that? You made sure not to make any sudden movement or any loud noises. Your parents wouldn’t be happy if they saw you in your nightgown stuffing your face with cookies.

You were meant to be the perfect princess.

You were making your way down the stairs when you realised that something seemed off. There should have been a very expensive vase from Italy right in front of you that had been gifted to your mother but there wasn’t. And there was meant to be that priceless painting that was a wedding present for your parents that wasn't there either.

Then you heard the faint sound of the door creak. At first you thought it was one of the servants then you heard the hushed male voices. You had lived in the palace for 12 years and in those 12 years you’d gotten to know every single one of your servants. These two voices weren’t at all familiar to you. Their footsteps seemed to approach you, softly hitting the floor. You didn’t realise that you had stopped breathing, scared at who or what might have been around the corner.

“Goddammit Mingyu, I told you not to touch anything!” A voice hissed. “This is our first mission and we can’t afford to mess it up!”

“Remind me why we’re robbing the palace as our first mission again?” Another voice asked, slightly higher than the one before. “I mean it’s much too dangerous, we’re just kids Cheol.”

“Oh shut up Mingyu. We’ve just got to make sure not to run into anyone otherwise we’re dead-” A body bumped into you, making you squeak. “What the?! Who are you?!” The boy in front of you couldn’t have been much older than you are. There was an obvious scowl that was etched onto his face. You gulped.

“Seungcheol, that’s the princess.” The boy next to him, Mingyu you presumed, whispered as if he was afraid of you. He was younger than Seungcheol and he offered you a meek little smile.

Both of them were dressed all in black. The sacks they were carrying were a dead giveaway on what they were meant to be doing. You furrowed your eyebrows. There had been a number of incidents that seemed to be happening all around the kingdom. A gang had been set up and every night things were being stolen from all the monumental sights. No doubt these two were part of it.

“You guys are petty thieves.”

The look on their face morphed into annoyance.

“We’re not petty thieves, we’re hardcore criminals and won’t be associated with some nitwit dumbassess that can’t stay hidden.” The oldest scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“You couldn’t stay hidden.”

Mingyu let out a tiny laugh at your remark while Seungcheol’s face flushed bright red. You could only give him a sly smile.

“What are you doing up anyway, princess?” Seungcheol steered the topic away, placing you under the hot spot. “Shouldn’t you be catching up on your beauty sleep?” The two of them stifled their laughs as you looked at them confused.

“I was hungry.” You frowned. “What’s wrong with getting a midnight snack?”

The word ‘snack’ seemed to perk the two of them up. It was like they had forgotten all about they’re so called ‘mission’ and they looked at you with wide eyes. Mingyu grabbed Seungcheol’s arm, whispering in his ear incoherently. Ever so often, Seungcheol would nod and hum.

“So Miss…?”

“Seungcheol, she’s Princess Y/n, how dumb are you?” Mingyu interrupted his friend as he pinched in between his nose bridge.

“Oh shut it Gyu, not everyone studies history as methodically as you.” Seungcheol cleared his throat and he made his voice go higher when he spoke next. “Anyway, Miss Y/n, my name is Choi Seungcheol and that is Kim Mingyu. We would be delighted if you could show us your delicacies.”

He sounded oddly posh. No one ever spoke like that. Was he mocking you?

“Why do you sound like that?”

Seungcheol spluttered, his cheeks turned red once again. “Just show us the snacks, princess, I can’t wait forever.”

You shrugged. What harm could they do anyway? They'd get into trouble in about five seconds flat if they did anything to you. All you had to do was scream and alert the guards on night duty. Speaking of night duty. You’ve got to tell your father to tighten security. If two dumb teenage boys could sneak in the palace, who else could?

Softly, the three of you walked down the hallway, footsteps muffled by the plush carpeting beneath your feet. A faint glow spilled from the slightly ajar door of the kitchens as it illuminated the hallway with a soft golden hue. You heard the familiar tune of a song only one person would know. Beside you, Seungcheol and Mingyu tensed, both realising that someone else was in the kitchens.

“You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!”

“Don't worry.” You shushed them, dragging them in the kitchen. A boy looked up at you, grinning. His soft cinnamon hair swept away from his face. “Jun’s completely harmless.” You reassured both of them.

“Who’re your friends, Y/n?” Junhui jumped off the counter. He offered his hand to both of them. “I’m Junhui, but you can call me Jun, my dad’s the head chef here.”

“Jun makes the best chocolate chip cookies and he always makes sure to keep a special stash just for me.” You looked at the boy completely enamoured.

Wen Junhui was the definition of perfection. He was a gentleman, he was polite, he knew how to cook and he was handsome. The whole package. You’d known each other since you were little. The crush you harboured for him was huge, nearly everyone could tell by your puppy eyes and how you’d constantly visit the kitchens for ‘snacks’ as you put it. Even your parents had given up asking you to stop going to the kitchens. They couldn’t stop you anyway.

Seungcheol stared as you made heart eyes at the boy. You were such an obvious person. How did this Junhui guy not know how much you like him?

"I made a batch for you." Junhui scratched his head. "But I don't think it would be enough for four people. I'd have to make more. Don't worry it won't take too long." He scurried away as he got ready to bake another batch.

You led both of them away and sat them down on the wooden table at the back. The jar you took out was filled to the brim with cookies. You hand one to both of them not before stuffing a few of them into your mouth. Soft chatter soon filled the air. The four of you didn’t really notice as the clock ticked and as hours whizzed by. You learnt a lot about Seungcheol and Mingyu despite the small bickering that would erupt ever so often.

You and Seungcheol didn’t exactly get along well.

It wasn’t until Jun had to remind you that it was nearly time for the servants to wake up that you realised how long you had actually been up. Seungcheol and Mingyu said they had to go as well and they said their goodbyes to both you and Jun.

When you were back, nestled in your bed you thought back to the time you spent with the two boys. It was nice to have friends your age again. Being by yourself was quite lonely and now since you were ‘growing up’ it was important to learn how to become a young lady.

Secretly you hoped that the two boys would come back but you could never be so sure.

You were 15 when Choi Seungcheol kissed you.

It was utterly stupid. The fact that your governess had scolded you because you had forgotten your homework was stupid. Why was homework even important? You rested your head on your hands, leaning back against the thick tree. The sun shone down and it was a warm afternoon. You ran your hands through your messy locks.

“How are you doing princess?” You shrieked when a face swung down from above. From one of the branches hung Choi Seungcheol, the smug grin plastered on his face. Blonde strands fell close to your face as he swung to and fro and you realised that his once natural black hair was now gone.

You and Seungcheol weren’t friends per se, you were more like frenemies. There were times he would be useful and you’d help him and in return he’d help you out. It was like friends with benefits, minus the sex. He’d developed a really annoying personality once he turned 15 one year ago.

A flirty persona, that is. It irked you more than anything.

The random pick up lines he’d drop out of nowhere and the flying kisses he’d blow at you. When you had first met three years ago, he was a sane 13 year old, speaking normally. Now, he was a raging 16 year old that liked to flirt with the ladies and charm their socks off. He was still a thief though. For some reason he’d always drop by the palace and occasionally you’d find your things go missing whenever he ‘visited’. Or sometimes he’d leave items that you knew were stolen.

You had been really good friends with Mingyu, bonding over your love for books. The literature in the palace library was enough to make the poor boy faint. He would often visit with Seungcheol returning the books he borrowed or to borrow new things. They both had introduced you to the rest of their ‘gang’ as they called it.

They seemed nice enough. A few of the members were cautious around you, however over time they had started to warm up to you. Seokmin had grinned so widely you were afraid he would break his jaw when he first met you. Shaking your hand enthusiastically, babbling about how much he wanted to visit the palace but he’d been assigned with some idiot to the kingdom’s museum.

They all seemed nice enough. The constant chattering and laughing always made you smile. You considered them your friends, especially since you didn’t have anyone to hang out with besides Jun at the palace.

“Seriously Seungcheol, I told you to stop calling me that.” You resisted the urge to throw a book at his annoying face. “I was doing fine before you came.”

“Are you sure about that princess? You cursing at your governess doesn’t say that.”

“How did you know that?!” You’d done that in your private bathroom, granted you hadn't been naked at that time but still! “Choi Seungcheol, were you spying on me?!”

His cheeks grew red. “Y/n! Of course not, I have some humanity and dignity in me! I just - you know what nevermind.”

He swung down, plopping in front of you, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"I've got something for you."

"Listen, if it's one of your stolen trinkets again I don't want it." You huffed, crossing your arms. You'd received too many 'gifts' lately and it was beginning to worry you.

Fortunately, most of the things were returnable or either stolen from the palace. It was still worrying. You were the royal princess. It would be a disgrace to be associated with a lowly thief. But you couldn't leave Seungcheol much less leave everyone else.

He cocked his head to the side. “I don’t steal that much Y/n, you’re exaggerating.” You raised your eyebrows. “Okay, maybe I do steal but that doesn’t mean it’s part of my personality.”

“Never said it was.”

“I-” He let out a breath, shooting you an annoyed look. “Doesn’t matter, just close your eyes.”

"I swear to god Seungcheol, I'm gonna lose it if you pull something stupid." You reluctantly closed your eyes. Even though you didn't trust him one bit, he was still one of your best friends, though he was irritating.

Seungcheol leaned forward, the shadows he casted on your face made your breath hitch. You felt him slip something behind your ear. He lingered for a second, staring at your pouty lips. He really shouldn’t, not when you still had that stupid crush on Jun. Your eyes fluttered open, a gasp leaving your throat when you saw how close the both of you were. Yet you didn't move.

All you did was stare into Seungcheol’s chocolate brown eyes. Nothing was spoken. Time was frozen and you could hear your own heart beating loud and clear. You let your eyes wander down to the curve of his lips. Lips that were so pretty and irresistible.

He leaned in and you melted when his lips touched yours, letting his breath fill you up. The kiss was sweet and slow. You closed your eyes, snaking your arms around his neck. Thoughts left you, all you could feel were his lips on yours, moving against them. The both of you pulled away, no words were exchanged. His thumb brushed over your lips.

“Can I-”

You kiss him again, interrupting his words. His hands caressed the side of your cheek and you relaxed under his touch. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach and you indulged in his warm touch. Seungcheol felt right. He felt like everything you had ever wanted. His touch, his scent, his taste. It seemed as though everything fit perfectly.

The sounds around you ceased and all you could feel were his lips on yours. When you both pulled away, your cheeks were flushed scarlet. No words came out of your mouth and Seungcheol looked as equally perplexed as you did. Both of you didn’t say anything for a while.

You seemed to snap back in shock scrambling away quickly. Apologies fell from your lips and you left Seungcheol alone, dashing back inside your palace. He stared at the place you once were. Maybe if you’d looked back you would have seen the way he looked at you. Maybe you’d figure it out but you were you.

Seungcheol merely smiled, touching his lips. He would wait as long as it takes.

You had your heart broken at the age of 16.

Crushes lasted a few months didn't they? They would probably last for a few years at maximum. Well, you seemed to exceed that rule. How long has it been since you liked Jun? 12, 13 years? You certainly were a special case. All that time you were convinced that he liked you back. The constant cookies he had baked for you meant something, didn't it?

Well, you were wrong.

It was a normal Monday morning. You had just finished your classes and you were going to visit Jun like usual. Skipping down the hallway all jittery and excited. You had planned to tell him you liked him. You had a whole speech planned out.

All of it left your brain when you opened the kitchen door to see him making out with Kim Soojin. You could hear your heart break at his actions. Funnily enough, you had just stayed there, not taking your eyes off the happy pair. Secrets normally spread like wildfire through the palace, you only could assume that they had just gotten together.

You didn't hate Soojin. How could you?

It wasn’t like she intended to fall for Jun. He was everything anyone could dream for, you couldn’t blame her to be honest. There were times you’d notice the sneaky glances Jun would take at the girl whenever she came into the kitchens. The longing looks he would throw at her, which she would return. Deep down you knew that there was something going on. You just thought that maybe you stood a chance.

Obviously you thought wrong.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, trying to catch their attention. Tears were threatening to burst but you kept them at bay, not wanting to cry in front of them. Instead you smiled.

“Didn’t know you guys were a thing.”

Jun and Soojin turned to look at you, both of them scrambling apart. Both sporting matching red faces.

“Y-Yeah, we just got together recently.” He scratched the back of his neck, unsure of what to say. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“Of course not.” Your heart broke even more. Tiny pieces falling apart. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

The two of them grin, thanking you profusely over and over again. The whole time you kept smiling. Soojin was nice, she was kind and smart. A perfect match for Jun. You were meant to despise her but how could you compete with that? You were better off just cheering on the sidelines.

“Oh Y/n, did you come here for something?” Jun looked at you. You noticed his hands intertwined with Soojin. A sickening feeling had begun to build up in your stomach.

“I, um, no. It’s nothing. You two enjoy your time together. Don’t get caught by anyone.” You warned playfully. They giggled. Waving you bye as you closed the door.

Your room was deadly silent when you entered. You refused to cry. The feelings you thought you had disappeared. You stared at your feet. A small voice at the back of your head seemed to tell you not to worry. Obviously Jun wasn’t the guy you were meant to be with. The right person would come sooner or later. You just had to wait.

The sound of the wind made you look up. Your window was open, you swore it wasn’t before. That could only mean one thing.

“Well, hello princess.” Seungcheol taps your shoulder and you whirled around. His bright smile was wiped off his face when he saw you. Your eyes were red and glassy, you were blinking quickly, rubbing your eyes. “Hey, why are you crying? Princess, you alright?”

A beat goes by before you let out a loud sob and hug him. He wrapped his arms around you. The words were muffled but he catches ‘Jun’ and ‘kissing’ and ‘stupid crush’. Your tears kept streaming down your face, soft hiccups accompanying them.

Seungcheol pulled you away to avoid him getting drenched by your tears also because he didn’t want you to suffocate. Your eyes were red and puffy. Your lips were trembling. He sighed, cupping your cheeks.

“You know better than to cry over some guy. Come on Y/n, you don’t need to waste your tears on something like this.” He held your hands tightly as you sniffed. The sincerity that laced his gentle tone was what tipped you over and you started sobbing again. Seungcheol started panicking. Did he say something wrong? “Hey hey hey! Why’re you crying again?”

“W-Why are you b-being so nice?”

He chuckled, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Because I don’t like seeing you cry and I guess I care about you.”

You giggled, wiping away your tears. “I guess I care about you as well Choi Seungcheol.”

He simply pinched your cheeks and you slapped his hands away. “Now, can you help me return this crown I found?” The accessory dangling from his fingers made you laugh.

“How did you even manage to grab that?”

“I have skilled hands princess, I’m a thief for a reason.” The charming smile on his face had you grinning. The thoughts of Jun and Soojin were long gone. You fixed your gaze on the beautiful gems that were encrusted into your crown. The pretty sapphires glinted. You had many crowns, you could spare one of them.

“You can keep it.”

Seungcheol’s jaw fell open. You had always made him return whatever he stole and he always did. But you had never asked him to keep something. The crown was beautiful and you surely had other ones to replace it but why would you give it to him willingly.

“Keep it as a memory of when you finally admitted you’re a petty thief.” You grinned cheekily, sticking your tongue out at him.

“You’re a brat, you know that?” He rolled his eyes, pocketing your crown. “I’m not a petty thief I’m a-”

“Hardcore criminal, yeah you’ve told me.”

“Keep that in mind princess, I’ve been training ever since I was 3.” He smirked. “You shouldn’t doubt me.” You shrieked when he jumped out of the window, rushing to peer outside. When you do, he’s sitting on a tree, grinning right at you.

“Don’t do that!”

“Check your pockets!” He shouted as he disappeared, probably to meet the boys somewhere in town.

You fumbled around your pockets, confused. Your fingers brushed something and you pulled it out. A single rose lay in your palm. The colour a deep red, the delicate petals lay softly on you. You giggled.

Guess he really did have good hands.

You told Seungcheol you loved him when you were 19.

It had been the night of your 19th birthday. Your parents had thrown you a grand party in the palace ballroom, inviting all the neighbouring kingdoms to celebrate. There were so many people and you were made to go to each and every one to thank them for coming. You never asked for such a big birthday party and you would’ve much preferred not having a party but your parents had insisted.

By the time it hit 10pm the party was in full swing. Other nobility were drinking from their flutes of champagne and some were taking the floor to dance. Many had asked you for a dance to which you had reluctantly agreed. It was all a big blur. Bright lights and forced laughter.

It was way past midnight when you managed to make it up to your room. You were beyond exhausted. Your parents had made you interact with every single guest and you wanted to bury yourself into your bed so badly.

Darkness surrounded you as you entered your room and your feet automatically brought you to where your bed was. Too tired to function, you flopped down onto the covers and as you did something hissed. Your reaction is immediate and you jump up and flick the lamp on your bedside hurriedly.

Seungcheol greeted you with bleary eyes and a pained expression on his face.

“Did you have to throw your body onto me?”

“Wha-What are you doing here?!” You questioned, shocked at his face.

“I came to wish you a happy birthday.” He rolled his eyes. “But you were taking forever at that party of yours and I got tired.”

Seungcheol tugged the covers away from his body and sat up. He ran his fingers through his hair, dragging his fingertips through the knots. You watched when he finally looked up at you.

“What?”

You frowned at his actions. “You stayed here for hours just for me to get back.”

Seungcheol’s cheeks turned pink and he cleared his throat. “Well, you are my friend are you not?”

You shuffled in your position, crossing your legs on the bed. “Yes of course we’re friends, but you didn’t have to stay here for so long. What if I took longer.”

“Then I’d still wait.” He shrugged. His eyes wandered over the fancy dress you were still wearing, finally locking them with yours. “That doesn’t look too comfortable.”

It’s a weird feeling but you felt your heart pound like it did all those years ago when you first kissed him. You blinked silently, trying to steady your heart from jumping out of your mouth. Seungcheol was no longer the teenage boy you once knew. He had grown up and he had lost the baby fat in his cheeks as well as the boyish charm he once held. He was handsome and sexy dare you admit it. There were multiple occasions he would make you stare at him and you couldn’t help the thoughts that would come into your mind.

Like right now.

“Princess?” His voice was soft, a whisper and he inched closer to your face, wondering why you had suddenly gone quiet.

You gulped. “Cheol…can I kiss you?”

His eyes widened, obviously taken aback at what you had just said. You looked up at him, body already burning from god knows what. Seungcheol’s eyes flitted down to your lips and even though there was little light you could see the way his pupils widened and his eyes turned darker.

The distance between the two of you grew shorter and shorter until you were millimetres away and his hand came up to touch the back of your neck. You shivered at the sensation, breath hitching.

It was in less than a second that Seungcheol closed the gap between the both of you. His lips crashed onto yours and it was like a perfect fit. His lips were soft and the feeling of them on yours caused your body to feel light. Your arms snaked around his neck and you pulled him closer towards you. The sweet taste made your head spin and you continued to kiss him passionately.

All those days after you had kissed Seungcheol there was an unrelenting spark that never went out. Sure, he had acted like everything was normal but you never missed the glances he would throw at you. In a way you both knew what you felt but you had constantly denied it.

You weren’t now though.

The man in front of you kissed you with fire and you melted into his arms once again. Choi Seungcheol made you feel things that no one ever had and maybe this was love and if it was you wanted it to last forever.

The two of you eventually pulled away breathless and panting. His eyes locked with yours and you felt an unknown emotion well up inside of you. It wasn’t like anything you had felt before and it overtook you, consuming you whole.

“What now?” He whispered into your hair. “Are we going to forget about this or…?”

You stayed quiet before softly speaking up. “Do you want to forget about this?”

“Of course not, you’re precious to me Y/n, I’d do anything for you.”

You flushed at the sudden confession. “Well I don’t want to forget about this either. So does this mean that we’re…”

Seungcheol chuckled as he gave you a chaste kiss. “You’re mine now princess, and I’m yours.”

There was silence for a while. Pleasant and sweet silence. The two of you stayed cuddled up in each other's arms for a good few minutes, basking in each other's warmth. You could have stayed in Seungcheol’s embrace for an eternity.

“Cheol.” You looked up at the guy you had known for so many years. The tender love that filled his eyes made your heart swell and pound in your chest, begging to be free. “I love you.”

A beat passed.

Seungcheol’s face split into a grin and he tugged you closer towards him.

“I love you even more.”

Needless to say that night was the happiest night of both of your lives.

You were 21 when you were told you had to be married off.

The items on your table were scattered across the floor along with your clothes. There didn’t seem to be anything you could do to stop your father’s decision. Your tears kept streaming down your face, your soft hiccups echoing through your room. The news had been brought on you so soon, you couldn’t comprehend what even happened back there. All you knew was you were going to be married off to some man that you wouldn’t even love.

You flopped down on your bed. The bright sun outside was a stark contrast to your emotions. The world obviously didn’t realise you were upset. You were only 21, so young and not ready to get married. There was still so much to explore, so much to discover, not to mention you were in love with Choi Seungcheol. How could you get married? What would that mean?

Seungcheol stood outside of your door. He silently listened to your soft sobs. Maybe he had been eavesdropping back in the throne room. So what? He only wanted to know what seemed so important. The moment he had learnt that you were meant to be married off, it felt like his heart was ripped out of his chest. He would never admit it but he knew he wasn’t the one meant for you no matter how much he loved you.

Normally, he’d barge right in and greet you but he couldn’t. Whenever his fingers brushed the door knob he’d flinch away like it burnt him. In all the years he’d never heard you cry, that is except when you’d seen Jun sucking Soojin’s face off. The situation he was in shocked him too much. What was he meant to do?

“Is she alright?” Jun knelt down beside Seungcheol. “She hasn’t come out in a while?”

“She’s still crying.” He simply shook his head. You were 21, surely you didn’t have to get married. “She has no other option does she? She’s their only daughter, they’ll grant her whatever she wants right.”

Junhui grimaced. “Not this time Seungcheol, I don’t think so.” The boy stood up, dusting his clothes. Jun and Seungcheol had bonded over the years, the rest of the gang seemed to like him as well so that was a bonus. The two of them were friends. “Are you going to wait for her?”

“Yeah, someone’s got to be there when she comes out.”

Several hours later, the door creaked open. Seungcheol bolted up. He was greeted with your tear stained face. There was a part of him that knew it was better to leave you alone but he couldn’t. Instead he hugged you close and gave you a kiss. You wrapped your arms around his waist.

“Are you doing better?”

“I’m okay.” Your voice was soft and quiet. “You should go.”

Seungcheol frowned. “You must be crazy to think I’d actually leave you.” He grabbed your hand. “Let’s go outside for a bit, get some fresh air.” He attempted to pull you with him but you remained rooted to the spot, your feet refusing to budge from the ground as if tethered by invisible chains.

His gaze lingered upon you, drinking in the subtle nuances of your demeanour - the avoidance of his eyes, the restless fidgeting of your hands, the nervous bite of your lip. There was something wrong, something that gnawed at the edges of his consciousness like a persistent whisper.

“Listen.” You pulled your hand out of his grasp. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Things are a bit...complicated.”

Seungcheol's world screeched to a halt, disbelief painting his features as he struggled to comprehend what you had just said. "Y-You want me to leave?” You nodded. “Like forever."

This time you hesitated for a second but you still nodded your head. He didn’t believe you’re being genuine on this. There was no way you’d ask him to leave. He’d known you for many years but why now?

“Well, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me why. I’m not giving up on us.”

Normally, you would start giggling and give him a sweet kiss and finally give in to him. All you did was sigh and look away. No emotions on your face.

“Just go Seungcheol.” You stared at him lifelessly. Your eyes were a deep void of nothingness. He opened his mouth to start arguing with you but closed it. What could he do? He’s nothing compared to you. “Go before I call the guards.”

He stood still determined not to leave but then he saw the pain in your eyes. The tiredness. You sighed, turning away to leave.

"Is this it then? You’re just going to give up on us?" Seungcheol glared at you. It was insane that you'd think that he'd leave you when you both had known each other for so long. "We both know that you’re lying to yourself."

Your eyes hardened to stone and you barred your teeth. "You're delusional."

"If I am then you are too." He snarled, stepping closer to you. His eyes softened and he held your hand, squeezing it tightly. "I love you."

You faltered at the three words. He’d say them all the time but this time it made you feel weak. Even though Seungcheol was angry you could tell that those three words were pleading for you to say them back. It was an internal fight and you looked down at your hand in his. You knew what would happen if you were caught with him and now your father was already suspicious. You couldn’t risk Seungcheol’s life like that.

"Y/n I love you and I always have, please don’t do this." He pleaded. You bit your lip, closing your eyes as you took a deep shaky breath. "Please don’t do this, not to us please. Did it not mean anything to you?"

"I-I…" You flinched when he reached out to touch you. There was a rock at the pit of your stomach and you didn’t know why but your throat was closing up and you could feel tears begin to prick your eyes again. "Seungcheol I can't…"

"Why not?!"

"You know why!"

The truth was bitter and vile. It was cruel and it was ugly. The truth that neither of you dared to voice aloud. Tears were streaming down your face and you wiped them away furiously trying to get them to stop.

"Don't you get it?" You pushed him away. "It's not going to work, it's impossible and we both know that. Just leave Seungcheol, I don't need you anymore."

“Y/n it isn’t funny when you say those things.”

You didn’t respond. Seungcheol sighed, already knowing your answer. Reluctantly, he left you alone. This time he was the one leaving you and he didn’t look back. Maybe if he did he’d see you, heartbroken, stifling sobs.

ONE YEAR LATER

"Someone was spotted last night." A guard reported to your father. "They were looking for something."

You tensed. It had been nearly a year since you had kicked Seungcheol out. One year of utter silence in your life. You didn't receive any more gifts nor did you have some chatter to fill your lonely void. You missed everything about him. From his sweet kisses to his laughter that never failed to cheer you up. When he stopped appearing so did the others and as more and more months passed you deluded yourself into thinking that they hated you. Because how could they not?

To hear that someone was nearly caught last night was nerve-wracking. However you were positive it wouldn't be one of them. They'd know better to show their face here. Your father had tightened the security around the palace, apparently you were at the tender age to be kidnapped and ransomed. To set foot in the palace was like setting foot into a death trap.

"Did you catch them?" Your father glared at the guard when he shook his head. "Did you at least find some clues to who this mystery person is?"

The guard gulped, his eyes flickered to you for a second. "They left a note." You swallowed your food thickly. "Outside the princess's window."

This time you tried not to choke on the food. Your hope about it not being one of the guys grew dimmer and dimmer.

"Well, hand it over." Your father snatched the piece of paper off the guard's hand, eyes scanning the note. His eyes fixed on you and you know what's about to happen. "Check the perimeter for any sight of suspicion. You're dismissed."

The guard scurried away not before giving you a small apologetic glance.

"What's wrong my dear?" Your mother's tone was laced with worry. "Is everything alright?"

"Looks like someone wants to meet Y/n tomorrow night." You didn’t have to look up to know that his eyes were burning into you. It was like he was trying to cook you alive for answers. "Anything you have to say?"

You kept your mouth shut, poking at your breakfast.

Your father lowered his voice. “You’re going to help capture this criminal and god forbid you disobey me.” He hissed. “Understand Y/n.”

You didn’t move, frozen in shock. “Y-Yes, father.” You just hoped that it wasn’t who you thought it was.

It was cold. Cold and windy. You were standing on your balcony, fiddling with the note in your hands. No doubt about it. You recognised the handwriting and it felt like fate was sealed. There were guards hidden everywhere possible.

Your heart was pounding and your palms were sweaty.

“Didn't think you’d actually come.”

You spun around. Seungcheol was leaning against the door. He’d grown taller since you last saw him and he had dyed his hair again. If it wasn’t under these circumstances you’d be overjoyed to see him again but all you could feel was guilt. The dreading feeling of guilt and shame.

His bright grin was wiped away when he heard a noise. His eyes widened in terror as he looked at you. It’s a pleading look and you didn’t meet his eyes.

“You did it, didn’t you?” Seungcheol shook his head.

It’s a sickening sight to see him get handcuffed. It would've been better if he had started shouting or at least given you a glare. But all he did was sigh as if he knew it was coming. You didn’t speak a word. Even when he was dragged out of your room and your father told you that you did a good job. You didn’t respond.

It’s only when you were sure everyone’s gone that you let the tears break. You slid down the wall, muttering sorry over and over again. The guilt ate you up, consuming you. The feeling was suffocating and even though your sobs were quiet you still felt like you were being torn apart. There was a new hole in your heart that’s bigger than the rest and this time you had no one to blame but yourself.

“Choi Seungcheol, you are charged with multiple attempts of theft and one attempt of treason. You will follow the normal punishment of a death sentence, you have the right to defend yourself.”

The treason bit was a lie. The royal court had made that up, like they did for everything that they deemed wrong. You blinked back tears at the sight of Seungcheol kneeling on the floor, hands tied behind his back. He was thinner and paler, being locked in a cell for days on end had taken its toll. There were dark bags under his eyes and his clothes were dirty. Yet his eyes were still bright and lively as if he wasn't about to be heavily punished. The dark orbs were twinkling with the familiar mischief as he stared at you.

“Any last words?”

He keeps his gaze trained on you, lips tugging into a tiny grin. “Check your pockets.”

Your breath hitched and your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when your fingers brushed something cold. Upon touching the object you’ve got a pretty good idea about what it was and when your hands brush a tiny rock you felt like crying again. Your parents were too busy mumbling to notice as you slipped away back into the shadows.

You pulled the object out of your pocket and you smiled blissfully. A silver ring with a beautiful diamond in the centre. It wasn’t big and flashy like the jewels you owned in the palace but it was enough. More than enough. A tear fell and then another and another. Before you knew it you were biting back sobs, slipping the ring onto your finger. You curl into a ball like you were five again, wiping away the tears that fall freely.

Once you returned Seungcheol was gone and your parents were looking at you disappointed.

"Y/n you really shouldn't disappear like that." Your father reprimanded.

"Where's Seungcheol?"

"You mean that criminal." He scoffed. "Locked away, execution is set for tomorrow."

Your face paled and your fingers brushed over the ring. He would do the same for you if you were in his position. It's a split second decision when you dashed away, your parents shouting for you to come back. You ignored their cries, running to the dungeons, a guard caught you by your shoulders, stopping you from going further.

“Stop it.” You shouted, wriggling desperately. “Stop it, let me through.”

They apologise profusely all while dragging you back to your parents. The royal court was already dismissed and it's only you, your father and mother in the room. You didn’t dare to make eye contact with both of them. It was stupid how they still treat you like a child.

Instead of speaking you simply trudged up to your room. You heard your father muttering to the guards about keeping an eye on you so you wouldn’t escape. There was no use in that, no matter how tight the security measures you were going to find a way out. You had to.

It was the dead of night and you were creeping around the palace like you once did when you were younger. You had managed to slip by the guards and now you were making your way down to the dungeons. If you had guessed correctly, the guard who was on duty tonight liked to drink so you may have slipped a few sleeping pills into his drink before bed. He should be fast asleep by now.

Sure enough when you pushed the door open the guard was fast asleep on the floor, soft snores escaping his lips. You silently walked over, plucking the keys from his belt. There weren’t many people in the dungeons, you didn’t really keep prisoners. So there was only one cell that was occupied.

Seungcheol was leaning against the dirty brick wall, hands still cuffed. There was a small rock that he's throwing at the wall as he whistled. Somehow he managed to still look stunning while in a rotting jail cell. He looked up when you grabbed the cell bars trying to unlock it as quietly as possible. His eyes flickered to the ring on your finger and he wistfully smiled.

"I see you've received my gift."

It was infuriating how he was so calm in this situation, how it seemed like he didn't care. He had a death date all set up for him and his life was in the line. How could anyone be calm in this situation?

"Why'd you give me this?" You took a shaky breath when he got up, walking closer. His eyes softened.

"Because I love you." He let out a little laugh. "Have since I met you."

You were crying again. The both of you know it's not possible. It wouldn't work. You'd drilled that thought into your head. His hand caressed your cheek and you saw his eyes were glassy as well.

"Whatever happens tomorrow, promise me you won't blame yourself." Seungcheol's handcuffs jangle when they hit the metal bars. You shake your head. "It's not your fault that it ended this way."

You were choking back tears. "Y-You can't just give me a r-ring and die you moron. I-It's not fair."

Seungcheol rolled his eyes, chuckling. "Don't think of it as dying silly." He reached out to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Think of it as a long…disappearance. You can always still visit the boys in the cabin if you want. They've missed you."

"I sent their f-friend to jail." You deadpanned.

"Yeah but you also gave their friend the best years of his life. The time I spent with you Y/n are the best moments of my life.”

You sniffled, wiping your tears. "I hate you."

"No, you don't." He teased, poking your cheek. "You love me."

A moment of silence passed with you staring at the thief you grew up with, the one you had fallen in love with. The both of you had been through so much and for it to end like this. You never would have fathomed that you would be in this situation, yet here you were.

"I hate how you're always right." You let out a deep breath, blinking rapidly. Seungcheol wiped your tears away and you held his hand. He raised an eyebrow as if expecting you to say it. You rolled your eyes. “I love you too idiot.”

Once the words leave your mouth you feel like breaking down again. It just confirmed what was going to happen.

“You’re going to ruin that pretty face of yours if you cry again princess.”

“I-I’m not crying.”

“You’re not?” He let out a laugh. “Of course not, you’ve just got something in your eye.”

You nodded, sniffling some more. “Please tell me you're planning to escape. The door’s wide open.”

“I can’t risk you getting in trouble and I doubt your parents are happy you’re down here right now.” You couldn’t care less, the guy you love was about to die, you weren’t going to stay and act pretty for a bunch of obnoxious people. “Speaking of, you should probably go before anything bad happens.”

“I’m not leaving.” You stood your ground, folding your arms. The guards had no right to drag you out of here. Your parents might grow furious and your reputation would be tarnished but you didn’t care. Not anymore. You wouldn’t leave.

Seungcheol let go of your hand. “Listen to me Y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow and if I don’t just know that I would do anything in the world for you.” You heard the distant footsteps of someone approaching. He gives you one last smile. “Now go before something bad happens.”

Hesitantly, you give one last glance at the thief you loved in chains and shackles. He wasn’t crying but you could tell it was hurting him so much. You kissed him. His lips were still as soft as you remembered and he still smelt of the same soothing vanilla. Nothing seemed to matter and time seemed to stop.

You really hoped things would have turned out differently but it didn't. This was how the world worked, not everyone got their happy ending. The both of you part and you embraced him tightly.

“Maybe in another life we could be happy.”

“Maybe...” You buried your head into his chest, inhaling his scent. The footsteps started getting closer and you reluctantly pulled away. You bite your bottom lip, peering at the entrance to the dungeons. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you more.”

When you were seated on your throne, the public beneath you, you didn’t feel good. Seungcheol was on the floor, hand behind his back and a blindfold was tied around his eyes. There was nothing good about this. You felt like throwing up.

You didn’t remember much of the execution, your mind had blocked out the memories and your eyes had been shut for most of it. You only remember bursting into silent tears as soon as you got into your room. The shame was eating you up yet Seungcheol’s words stayed fresh in your head.

It was like your world had collapsed, the days after the execution you spoke not a word and didn’t eat or drink. It was only when the maids would insist you eat that you did. Your parents were too busy to notice a change in your behaviour and you couldn’t care less. The hole in your heart only grew bigger.

The diamond ring on your hand was the only thing that kept you connected with him. It made your heart hurt whenever you would think of the memories with him. The years you spent your life with him were your happiest and you knew you would never forget them.

As years went by the memories were still fresh in your mind as if they had all happened yesterday. Even though your father had married you off, you still kept the ring on your hand. You still remembered the cheeky boy who had broken into the palace many years ago and you remembered how you fell in love with him over time.

Over the years the pain subsided and you learnt to grasp at the happy moments. You found how to be happy again and you knew how he would never want you to live sad for your whole life. And as you grew older and had children of your own you finally felt the guilt wash away. The past had been eating you up and you had let it go, learning how to enjoy your life for him.

But you’ll never forget how much you loved Choi Seungcheol and how much he loved you back. And maybe in another life you both could be happy together.

#THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH #LOVE U GUYSSSSS #yves rambles <3

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tojiwrd · 1 year ago

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6: fate is fickle ; gojo satoru

pairing gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary when satoru breaks off your engagement, you understand and accept it. but when he marries someone else, you don't understand because he didn't want to be tied down.

content warnings mentions toxic family, mentions of forced marriage, emotional infidelity, lots of crying, drama drama drama, confrontation, lots of reminiscing. also not proofread so im sorry for any mistakes !!

word count 4k

a/n sorry for late update lomls my gojo fate is fickle ver. came back into my life after three years of silence so this is chapter is coming straight from my bones guysssss . also i am so so so grateful for the support on this fic, genuinely makes me so happy i love u guys sm thank you SO much !! <3 also credit to the person of the art!! i can't find their name so if anyone knows then lmk <3

send thoughts ↞ prev next ↠ to be added to taglist

Gojo Satoru didn’t get on one knee and ask to marry you. He did it when the two of you were in the apartment he bought just a few months prior, laying on the bed as the small opening of the curtains let a thin stream of silver streams in. It wasn’t that he wasn’t prepared because when he slipped the question while the two of you were facing one another, a hint of sleep heavy on the eyes on his moon-kissed face, he backed it up with the ring he’d carefully tucked away in his sweatpants. You swore your cheeks were hinting a fresh glow for the next week.

Maybe it was dumb to think you and Satoru, only twenty-five, would’ve worked out when he proposed on a random Sunday in bed. It did seem dumb, though, while you sat across Hana who was relaying her own proposal story. You’d tuned it out, not wanting to hear her drone on about how it was the most perfect, breathtaking moment when he got on one knee at a rooftop restaurant. You didn’t want to be there, partially because you truly felt as though Hana was painting Satoru out into someone he wasn’t, and partially because you were human and humans tend to get jealous sometimes.

It was meant to be a simple brunch with ten people, friends of friends of friends. You had Reina right next to you, Reina, whose eyes were continuously twitching as Hana would relearn a new moment from that picture-perfect night and feel the need to share it with everyone on the table. You could also see some of your own friends who were aware of yours and Satoru’s relationship look at her, then you, with furrowed brows. Hers mostly out of confusion, and at you to ask why the fuck are you quiet?

“Ugh!” One of the girls, Jia, exclaimed as Hana finally seemed to get to the end of her engagement story. “I wish I had someone like Gojo Satoru; all these men are so unromantic and act like genuine children.”

Truthfully, if Satoru wasn’t your ex-fiancee, you would be on the same boat as the girls who were unaware of your past relationship. Hana’s story, from the pieces you forced yourself to hear, was dreamlike. A small part of you wanted to tell her that her romantic and unchildlike husband had proposed to her, too, right after he’d done some other things that would end that conversation immediately. But you didn’t because it wasn’t Hana’s fault, even though your mind kept putting some blame on her, that Satoru broke it off with you.

“I hope all of you find somebody like Satoru. He truly is the best,” Hana replied dreamily.

You clenched your fists. Reina slammed hers on the table.

“You’re so delusional, Hana, it’s concerning.” You wanted to raise your arms and pull Reina down and ask her to shut up. To not cause a scene. But Hana looked at Reina, a confused, concerningly kind expression covering her features and you realized there lived a monster in you that wanted to see Gojo Hana crumble. “Don’t look at me all coy, high, and mighty. You don’t know shit about your husband. Why don’t you skip over these semantics and really tell them the only reason the two of you got married was because your parents forced you to?”

You delighted in the flash of anger that slid across Hana’s face as she pursed her lips, trying to find the right words. You leaned back and stared, an uncharacteristically numb look covering your features. This, a part of you realized, might be detracking you from your healing process but it was fun.

Hana looked around the table and noticed how all eyes were fixed on her figure. If there was one thing you’d learned from girls' brunches, it was that everybody loved when it blew over and left one or many people scathed. She sputtered over her words, the tangle coming out completely incomprehensible and you almost felt bad. Almost felt bad because it wasn’t expected of her to admit to a whole group of socialites that the marriage to the Gojo heir wasn’t out of love, but out of an arrangement that went in their favor. If you were in her place, you, too, would’ve waxed poetic about your marriage because if the truth would bring the palpable exciting energy down, you would feel bad.

“Perhaps it was suggested by our parents,” she started, glaring at Reina with faux sweetness. “But it was only because our parents saw how in love we seemed with each other.”

You tried to hold yourself back but it was just so simple for you to scoff at her words. When Reina looked at you, a sheen of anger coating her eyes, you pushed yourself to talk. “It’s not love if he cheated on someone with you.”

You had thought about this moment before; you’d wondered if, were you to ever meet Hana again, you would drop the ticking time bomb in her presence that might either blow up her entire marriage or just cause a small blip in the working systems of it. But saying it now, after hearing her say all Satoru had said about you was that your fathers worked together, felt completely underwhelming. Though the shoe was dropped and it was clear everybody managed to get a small tatters of it to whisper about with other people, it felt wrong. Wrong because the way Hana looked at you, eyes brimmed with tears and brows coming together in sadness, you had most likely broken a piece of her.

She gulped then cleared her throat. “Can—Can we talk outside? Alone?” she asked and, without sparing a glance at anybody on the table except for you and Reina, she walked to the sliding doors of the restaurant and into the glaring sun above.

Reina placed her hand on your forearm and said, “Come on, let’s go.” It was surprising to see a miniscule hint of guilt on her features, and you realized you had to have the conversation.

Hana had most likely heard the clicking of yours and Reina’s heels because she didn’t turn back to face the two of you. “I know you and Satoru had something going on.”

You froze, stunned and silent.

“I had heard from my mother that you both were in a relationship. He never mentioned it to me, though, and I didn’t mention it, either.” She turned around, eyes wide as she looked down and shuffled her feet in anxiousness. “I don’t know how it ended or when it ended, but I thought when he—he finally acknowledged there was something between us, the two of you were over. I didn’t want to know. We did get married because our fathers told us to, but I wasn’t lying when I said he was sweet and caring.” Her stare burned you like a billion matches. There was truth in her words, you knew—

“You homewrecking bitch!” Reina’s voice cut off your train of thought as she walked towards Hana, an accusatory finger pointed in her direction. Once again, you didn’t stop her even though you probably should’ve. “If you knew he was in a relationship, how could you even think of flirting with him? They were engaged. God! I swear, both you and Gojo are two peas in the same pod. You deserve each other.” Her words were also ringing through your head and there was confusion bubbling up within the same pot as growing anger.

“Why’d you pretend not to know when we saw you at the club?” you asked, finding your voice again, in a calm tone that surprised you, too.

Hana shook her head. Her face had curled up into fury, and you wondered if her nice, docile, angel-sent-from-above personality was a card she held up her sleeve the entire time. “I didn’t care. I didn’t want to know because Satoru was mine—is mine. You weren’t a part of his life anymore, so I didn’t want to add any worries that were misplaced.”

You wondered if you should tell her that Satoru had tried reaching out to you at Suguru’s gallery.

“If he had told me he was with you, I wouldn’t have tried anything with him.”

You were sure you had moved past everything.

After more than a year of avoiding any fire from your past with Satoru, the past two weeks had been filled to the brim with situations revolving around him. It was easy to ignore what you had with Satoru when he seemed like a distant memory and then a mere ghost in your thoughts. But when he’s insistent on giving you answers you never asked for, answers you didn’t want to know, and his wife had made an appearance that caused your brain to run without stopping, it was difficult to treat him the way you had.

No matter how much you wanted to ignore everything and reset your brain back to its default settings, you couldn’t when the world was caving in on you and reality seeped through its cracks to light a bright, pertinent light in front of your eyes. You hated Gojo Satoru with every inch of your bones, but you were never truly able to forget just Satoru himself.

Your mind had an interesting way to deal with the pile of information dropped onto your shoulders. You should’ve been reliving how Satoru made your blood boil when he got engaged with Hana, how he carelessly broke your heart because he began falling for somebody else, somebody brand new while he was taking space on your bed every night. You should’ve been, but you weren’t.

‘A relationship broken is always a relationship that could’ve been,’ is what you’d read once graffitied onto a brick wall you were leaning against with Satoru once in the middle of the bustling city streets. You’d pointed it out, he’d agreed. He’d agreed. You wish he hadn’t because there was a fragment of you that wished he remembered those words now. The devilish part of you wished that’s what he remembered, recounted abruptly while he was sleeping next to his wife.

You wished he’d think of the could’ve been’s instead of the measly fears he told you about at the gallery.

You also wish you had those fears, too. You loved Satoru to a point that he was in everything you did; your clothes smelt like his detergent because you would always take your laundry to his house for the weekends. The lamp next to your bed had his bracelet wrapped around it because he thought it was too loose on his wrist and he’d lose it. You would always accidentally call him because his contact was on your home screen, causing you to press on it when you were scrolling (he always picked up and he always talked to you for hours after, making you forget why you had opened your phone in the first place). The tattoo, a small design of baby’s breaths, on your hip reminded you of how he had held your hand through the pain.

You knew Satoru’s dreams. You knew Satoru’s biggest fears. So, why did he never tell you the fears he had for the two of you?

As soon as the thought hit your mind, it was followed by you harshly reprimanding yourself by reminding you that it was because he was getting excited over someone else’s calls, someone else’s dreams.

“Y/N, honey.” You heard your mother’s voice call from your ajar bedroom door before she hesitantly stepped in, heel-clad feet grazing over the off-white floor with footsteps following behind her. “Your friend from the gallery here to see you.”

You knew exactly who she was talking about which is why you raised slightly from your bed, a panicked look in your eyes, and only began pleading with her to tell him you weren’t here. Before you could even utter a complete, coherent sentence, Suguru had walked in with his head down and your mother simply walked out of the door, sparing you a sad smile. She didn’t know any of what had happened, but she most likely sensed it wasn’t anything worth toasting to after seeing Suguru’s mood and your reaction.

“Please, Suguru.” Your voice wobbled, a slight hiccup in your words because this was too much. Even though Suguru was somewhere on the top of your least-favorite people list at the moment, he didn’t deserve to see you get angry at him without having control over your words. “Leave.”

“Listen, listen, Y/N. I just… I heard some stuff and I needed to check on you.” His words were hesitant, as if he’d rehearsed them but had changed the script at the last minute. He walked closer to your bed and you couldn’t find the words to ask him to leave. “Hana told me—”

You snorted, cutting him off. “Hana told you what? That I ended her perfect, dreamy image of her marriage in public? Are you here to—what? Reprimand me? Tell me I was wrong—”

“Fuck, no. Stop, just for one second.”

You did stop because Suguru seemed more tense than you knew what to do with.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Y/N.”

You stared at him, unblinking. “What do you want me to say?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he quickly addressed, his body finding its way to the edge of your bed. “I want to say I’m sorry, and you don’t have to accept it. I was wrong—I realize that now but… I was scared, Y/N.”

“Scared of what? I wouldn’t have been any worse if you’d just told me what you knew, Suguru. You hid it from me when you saw how I was going insane the month after the breakup.”

“I was scared of this. How you’ve been feeling since Satoru told you the truth himself.” You couldn’t reply to that. “But I want to tell you that even though I hadn’t told you about it, I did let Satoru know really well what he did was wrong. Not that it’s any better, but I never supported what he did. I—I couldn’t stop him from marrying her because… well, because he’s Satoru. I shouldn’t have assumed you were okay, especially not after finding out about Hana after three months. But I thought you were and—I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking straight.

But I heard from Hana earlier today about what had happened at brunch. She said she was scared Satoru would find out what she said and I—I have no idea why she trusted me with that information. I’m not friends with her. I don’t know why she told me.”

You took in a deep breath processing all the information Suguru kept on dropping. “I’m not telling Satoru anything.”

“But she—”

“She nothing. I don’t want to hear it, Suguru. Whatever she did, even if she actively tried to sabotage me and Satoru, it was on him that he let her.” Your phone lit up from beside you and you glanced at the time, internally thanking whoever controlled it for the real excuse to kick him out of your house. “I have plans with Kento. You need to leave now, actually.”

You didn’t miss the way Suguru’s face flashed with a hint of disappointment at your words.

Kento Nanami wasn’t understanding—not truly—which is why you were surprised that halfway through your date, when you told him you had to talk to Satoru, he understood. He walked you out of the restaurant, a calm, unwavering hand on your back and told you that no matter what happened, he’d be there by your side.

And though you knew you had people by your side, you really couldn’t remember who and felt a flutter in your chest.

By the time you reached Satoru’s (and Hana’s) apartment, the urge and confidence you felt when you came up with your plan ebbed away into pieces and left you lying there in a situation you weren’t sure you could face. You raised your hand up to press a finger against the doorbell regardless, trying to force away the thought that you would see the apartment you helped him move into and decorate. You briefly, for a second, wondered if he had changed it. You also wondered if it would hurt to see the small paintings you’d bought as a present for his new apartment not be in the spots of the wall Satoru put you on his shoulders to pin.

When the door opened, you were met with the same eyes that had haunted your dreams and nightmares. His mouth opened, wide enough for a fly to fly into, then he schooled his features into mere curiosity. You realized that you were the one that sought him out this time, you were the one who dropped in unannounced at his house, which meant you should speak.

“I need to talk to you.” And frankly, at that moment, you didn’t care if Hana was lurking behind him and able to hear you initiate a conversation with her husband. That was what he was: her husband before your ex-fiance.

He breathed out and shook his head as if willing himself to speak, too. “Yes. Yeah. Come in, Y/N.”

And you did. You saw the walls, the paintings, the small hearts on the corner of the dining table you drew with a sharpie, the couch you picked out, and even the necklace you had forgotten that peeked from under his coat on the coat hanger. You didn’t comment on it, though.

“Do you want water? Tea? Liquor?”

You almost laughed at the anxiousness in his voice. “I’m good. This won’t take long.”

Satoru’s expression was what you could confidently call crestfallen, and he didn’t try to hide it this time. You forced yourself not to think about it. You merely went down to the couch in his living room that you picked out and placed yourself on the left corner because you always used to sit on the right. It helped you see the TV better.

“She isn’t home.” You knew who he meant by ‘she.’

“Goj—Satoru, I need you to do something,” you said, unsure of how to start it off. In all fairness, you hadn’t prepared what you were going to say, it was just a messed up, jumbled backbone of stuff that you knew you had to tell him.

His reply was instant. “Anything.”

“I need you to not feel guilty or—I don’t know, keep feeling guilty but just keep it to yourself, okay?” You sounded like you were talking like a preschooler, and it wasn’t much different because Satoru looked at you with the hopeful eyes a kid has before you reject their wishes. But Satoru wasn’t a kid, Satoru was a man who made poor choices and hurt someone by doing something unexcusable, and that made it okay to tell him to stop.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t talk to me. If we’re in the same place, don’t talk to me. Don’t ask me not to hate you. Don’t tell me you regret what you did to me.”

It hurt to break your heart by your own words.

“Y/N, don’t do this,” he trailed off, eyes wide and filled with fear now. “Please.”

“Stop.” Your own eyes brimmed with tears you weren’t going to shed. It was fine dealing with Satoru when he tried to talk to you, but doing it on your own terms gave you an inexplicable feeling of sadness you hadn’t expected. “You’re being selfish.”

“No. How…”

“You take when you want, Satoru. You know more than anybody else that I loved you and lost myself when I couldn’t. You were there that night in the car, holding me when I cried when you left me. You left me!” you exclaimed, pointing your index in his direction that would’ve jabbed him in the face if he wasn’t further away. “You were there even after you left me. You’re there now, making me all confused and angry, when you know you can’t give me anything. You don’t have any intention of being somebody I need in my life, so leave. Make this easier for me and leave. Let me live my life while you live yours.”

He had shifted down the couch, and though he was still not too close, it felt too close.

“Don’t—fuck, don’t say that, love. Please. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

You flailed your arms in the air, his words not helping your case at all. “You can be sorry a million times over, but what’s done is done. You can’t… Fuck, Satoru. You can’t do this.”

A moment passed. Then another. He placed his head in his hands, facing ahead while you faced his shaking body.

“I love you,” he said, and you were lost.

“Don’t do this to your wife, Satoru. You love her. You’re supposed to love her. Don’t do this to someone else.”

“I love you,” he repeated, his eyes now looking into yours with a familiar fire of determination. “You know that, right? You know that I love you?” His words broke out into a sob that ripped directly from his scratchy throat. “Tell me you know that.”

“Then please leave. Don’t show up. Stop showing up, and stop explaining something that can’t be understood.”

And when Satoru placed a hand on your cheek, you didn’t push it away because you saw that previous fire dwindle within a second. He tugged his lower lip between his teeth as he scanned your warm face, your glassy eyes, and he noticed how you were shivering under his touch. You didn’t push it away because Satoru might’ve been selfish, but you were, too. And you would inhale the embers of him before they turned into ash.

“You want this?” he asked, but you could see he knew the answer. You didn’t reply. He continued, “I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you want. But—But I want you to know I wanted it to be you. When Hana walked down the aisle, I thought of you. I wish you’d come. I would’ve never said ‘I do.’ I swear. I’m sorry I fucked up—I fucked us up. I got carried away and…”

You smiled sadly. “Don’t do that to her. You have a chance at being happy, Satoru. Don’t ever do what you did to me again.”

“Do you?” he asked.

“Do I what?”

“Have that chance at being happy?”

You thought about the question and Kento’s name flashed in your mind. It might have been small compared to the colossal amounts of feelings you felt with Satoru back then, but it was something. Even though you didn’t shake under Kento’s touch or feel your stomach turning upside down everytime he smiled at you, you felt safe and you knew that if you could stay, Kento would stay, too.

“I do.”

He inhaled a sharp breath, a single tear falling from his eye. “Is it wrong that I still wish it was me?”

You wanted to say no, it isn’t because a part of me wishes it was you, too. You didn’t.

He continued, “I can’t let you go, Y/N.”

Another tear, then another, till they continued streaming down his face. You couldn’t stop them. You couldn’t react to them. Not even when he took his hand away from your face to messily wipe them away between sobs and hiccups.

“You said you didn’t deserve me, and you were right. Remember that.”

And even though a larger part of you didn’t want to leave, you left, afraid that you might end up entangling yourself in his arms to cry with him. To get one taste of his lips for the last time before deciding to fuck it all and make one kiss more. To hold onto him for longer, forever. You left because you weren’t sure you could tell Satoru to leave again. You thought you still loved Satoru just not in the way you used to. But when you saw him pleading for nothing because there was no good outcome for the two of you, you realized you might still love Satoru the way you used to, just less and concealed by the hurt. You would’ve chosen all the bad outcomes and then some more if you stayed a minute longer.

#gojo x reader #angst #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo angst #gojo satoru #gojo satoru angst #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x you #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen angst

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angelsdean · 2 years ago

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guys. guyssssss. i'm reaching the point where. where it hits me that we saw himmmm our babygirl on screen. oughh. and he was talking abt freedom and free will and writing ur own story. and he had the saddest meow meow eyes abt going back to heaven. and he loves his family. and he save his momma !! and he drove his magic car. and he's growing out his hair and beard bc apparently you can do that even if ur "dead" hmm. anyways, and he literally saved the multiverse !!!!!!!!! he did not drive aimlessly for 40 yrs waiting for his brother. he is his own person with his own story. and he's been writing it! and processing his grief and trauma he experienced as a hunter. and well, his story isn't over either!! and he's gonna keep writing it, i know it<3 and he looked damn cute, guysssss. his cheekies when he smiled when he said he wasn't supposed to mess with things !!! guyssss. i love him so much

#ok the dean breakdown is officially happening #did u all SEE HIM ???!!! MY BABY #vic.txt #spnwin #spnwin spoilers

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s-rosie · 6 months ago

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Javery Hcssss

hi guysssss! I hope you like these hcs and enjoyed them as much as i liked making them. I took some of the tips. I got from my last post and used to them to make these. Please comment any more ways I can improve. I’m always trying to get better. Thank you.

when jameson first started dating her, she had never received romantic affection, so she had no idea to react to it and just combusted

jamie leaves the biggest and darkest hickeys on her and she sometimes doesn’t even realize until she hears snickering

at a gala, one time avery pulled jameson into the bathroom and they made out until alisa came looking for them, averys red lipstick stained his face and there was no makeup to cover it up causing alisa to just scream at them for like 20 minutes and he walked around the gala with lipstick stains on his face the rest of the night

avery once told jameson what she always wanted her first dance song to be, and a few hours later he called her to help her find her phone and her ringtone for him was that song (in my mind it is timeless by ts but you decide)

she had so much trouble showing jameson just how much she loved him at first, so she would write him letters telling him her feelings, jameson then incorporated some of the things ave wrote in the letters into his wedding vows (she also included some of things he said in his love confession in tfg in her vows (they both started sobbing and no one else knew why))

avery and jamie make each other scrapbooks about things they do together

jameson goes up randomly to ave and takes a 0.5 of her, that photo then becomes his lock screen for the day

whenever the song call me maybe comes on, jamie SCREAMS that song to ave no matter if they are in public or not

they watch disney movies and go to the parks together all the time

sometimes when it rains, they go to a secluded part of the estate and slow dance

they once got food poisoning together from a 3:00 am taco bell run and they held each other while the other threw up

when they were still in school, jamie did theatre and avery was the assistant director just so she could watch jamie preform. he also had to stage kiss and almost dropped out because he felt like he was cheating on ave. she assured him it was fine

jameson once did avery’s makeup and hair and it looked so good people thought it was professionally done

once ave asked jameson what she should get done to her nails, and he responded with something like “rounded square nude french tips” and she just sat there like “how the hell does he know that”

when jamie gives avery one of his jackets, he always pretends like he’s not cold and ave finds it adorable

jamie was once on avery’s phone and read some of the texts she sent max about him (like her absolutely thirsting for him) and he was so surprised because it was a major flip from her usual self

he always opens car doors and pulls out ave’s seat

like i said in my last hc post about them being theatre kids and dressing up like eliza and ham for halloween, he was posting stuff the whole night like “my life is going fine because elliza is in it” and she was posting stuff like “he better say no to this” while he looked over at another girl in a red dress (everyone thought it was adorable and hilarious)

jameson can sketch and draw pretty well, and ave can paint, so they once made a custom chess board

no matter if they admit it or not, they cannot sleep without each other. like if the other is out working late or sum, the one in bed cannot fall asleep.

jamie loves braiding avery’s hair and he even watches tutorials on how to make complex braids so her looks unique. when people ask who/how she did her hair, she responds with an excited “oh! it was jamie, hes the best!” and he just smiles proudly.

they make up very complicated yet super cute handshakes that they do often

they once made a tiktok of them singing promiscuous and the fans went BALLISTIC

avery once waxed jameson’s eyebrows and gave him acrylic nails for fun (he looked absolutely fabulous)

i really hope you liked theseee! please let me know how i can improve. also my inbox is open if you have any requests or recommendations. thank you so much!

#the inheritance games #the brothers hawthorne #the hawthorne legacy #the final gambit #jameson hawthorne #averyjameson #avery grambs #headcanon

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pollenallergie · 1 year ago

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Enough | A Make Up Story | Tom Grant x You | Series Masterlist

Chapter 10: The Lies You're Telling Yourself Words: 2.8k

You woke with a smile.

Tom was pressed tightly against your back. His arm was wrapped around your waist, and you could feel him breathing on your shoulder. If anyone else dared to breathe on you like that, you'd be plotting their demise. But with Tom, you didn't mind. He was so warm, and soft, and sweet… you wanted all of him you could get.

It was like you were made for each other. No matter what you tried, you were a perfect fit. No one had ever made you feel this way before; sure, he'd made you see stars several times last night, but you were just as obsessed with the way your hands fit together, and the way he bit his lip when he was trying to hold back, and the way his eyes fluttered when he needed to rest. He was beautiful. He was perfect. And right now, he was all yours.

For one glorious night, you'd both set aside all your bullshit and just enjoyed being together. And then the crackle of Tom's radio burst your bubble and sent you hurtling back into the real world.

"Tom." Click. "TOM." Shirley was growing impatient.

"Tom?" you asked, reaching for the hand that was resting on your stomach. He acknowledged you with a little moan and a squeeze. "Shirley's calling for you over the radio."

"Fuck," he grunts, rolling out of bed and slipping on yesterday's boxers. He pads out of the room and picks up his radio.

"It's Tom, I'm here."

"Come to the office. Now."

You look at each other with fear.

"On my way."

He drops the radio on the bed and rushes to the closet, pulling out clean clothes. You sit up and pull your knees to your chest. You don't know what to say, but Tom notices how worried you are.

"Don't panic, she probably wants just to bitch at me for fighting with Kai again," he says as calmly as he can, pulling a shirt over his bruised face.

"Would she fire you for that?"

"Nah. If I'm fired, they'll have to train somebody else. Too much work. It'll be fine." He leans over to kiss your forehead, then sticks his feet in his shoes without tying them. "Stay here, I'll be back as soon as I can." He's out the door before you can respond.

You dress, make the bed, and clean up everything you'd knocked over last night while you wait. Your thoughts race through the most awful scenarios, each imagined situation worse than the last. What is that creepy old woman doing to Tom that's taking so long?

When Tom returns, you're sitting at the table with a leg jiggling so ferociously, it's probably making the whole van shake. You pop up when he enters… with a smile?

"What happened?" you ask nervously.

Tom grins. "April wants us to come see her."

That was not one of the scenarios you'd imagined. You fall back into your seat and let out the breath you've been holding since the radio crackled. Tom sits across from you.

"She's broken her hip. Her granddaughter arrived last night, she's there with her. She'll be down for a bit, but she's asked us to come see her, and bring Bonnie and a few other things."

"Bonnie?"

An adorable grin splits Tom's face. "C'mon."

You get up and follow him out of his van, across the grass, and into April's house. He goes to her reading chair by the window in the living room and picks up a bonsai tree. "This is Bonnie. April's had her for decades. Keeps her company while she reads."

"Hello, Bonnie," you smile. This is the cutest thing you've ever heard.

"Find me a bag?"

You fetch a tote from the kitchen cabinet where you'd stashed them after your shopping trip. Tom pulls out the list April had dictated to him over the phone, and you help him collect the things that'll make her hospital stay a bit easier. Her slippers, her robe, the afghan from her reading chair, the book she was currently reading, and a box of proper tea from her pantry. "Says she can't stomach that weak hospital stuff," Tom explains.

Loaded down with April's necessities (and her dear Bonnie), you and Tom happily walk toward the work truck. Shirley had given him the morning off, since it technically was a task for a resident.

"We should stop somewhere and get her flowers," you muse.

"And breakfast," Tom grumbles, just before his stomach does. As you pass the office, Shirley pokes her head out the door.

"Tom." You both stop and turn. "Doug called for you. Tell your new girlfriend her car's ready."

You were literally right next to him. She saw you. You heard her. It made you feel about a centimeter tall.

"Alright. Thanks, Shirley."

Tom keeps walking as though nothing strange had just transpired. Has he grown immune to her weirdness? Are you overreeacting?

You reached the truck, loaded it up with April's treasures, and got in silently. Tom put the vehicle in gear and slowly exited the caravan park. You stared out the window.

"Hey." You look over at him. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just dreading that mechanic's bill," you lie, focusing on the window again. Well, half a lie. You're dreading that too.

But you'd just been served a hearty reminder that this perfect little Tom-filled bubble you've been living in wasn't built to last. Just like your time with Jade; this had an expiration date. You're still here because you're waiting for your car to be fixed. And it is.

"I'll help you out."

"No, you won't."

"I'm the reason you crashed."

"It's my car, Tom, I'll take care of it."

"But I--"

"Tom, you've already put me up for nearly a week, I'm not asking you for more."

He falls silent, and you feel horrible. You didn't mean to snap at him. But maybe it's for the best. You should probably just get out now, before you can feel Tom losing interest in you, like Jade always did.

"You didn't ask," he says, slowly and quietly. "I offered."

You finally glance at him, and he looks like a kicked puppy. You hate yourself.

"I'm sorry, Tom," you say gently. "It's just… the car being ready means I have to go home. And I've really enjoyed hanging out with you." Don't cry, don't cry, don't you dare fucking cry.

Tom reaches across the seat for your hand, and you take it. You tilt your head toward the window so he won't see the tears slipping from the corners of your eyes.

"What do you say we forget about the car for a bit. We'll go get something to eat, spend some time with April, take the rest of the morning just for us. Deal with everything else later."

"I'd like that," you croak. Tom holds your hand tighter. The rest of the drive into town passes in silence, and he doesn't let go of your hand until he pulls into a parking spot in front of a bakery… two doors down from a florist. "Flowers or food first?"

"I'll get the flowers and meet you back here," you offer, sliding out of the truck. One minute alone should be long enough to clear your head. Or at least let loose the tears you've been fighting since you left the park.

"Want anything specific?" Tom asks as you meet on the sidewalk.

"Surprise me," you smile. He returns it, and kisses your forehead before walking past.

You try to push the feeling of dread aside as you walk toward the florist. You don't have to leave him right now. Stop worrying about that and enjoy the time you have left with him, idiot.

The shop isn't open yet. Yet another thing you're not going to worry about. It just means more time with Tom. You take a deep breath and walk back to the bakery, where he's still standing in line. He's studying the menu on the wall like he's going to be tested on it.

You stand silently behind him for a moment, just admiring him. He's so invested in the menu, he doesn't notice you're there. Finally, you can't resist anymore, so you reach forward to place your hands on his sides. He jumps and yelps and you stand there innocently, like you have no idea what's gotten into the random man freaking out in front of you.

Tom fixes you with a fake glare, then hooks his arm around your neck and pulls you to him. Your arms wrap around his middle, and you grin up at him.

"They're not open for another 20 minutes," you inform him. "Have you decided on anything yet?"

"I was thinking half a dozen of the ones on special. We can eat here, then take the rest to April and her granddaughter."

"That's a good idea." He smiles down at you, and you rest your head on his shoulder to keep from melting into the floor.

When you arrive at the front of the line, you detach yourself as Tom orders the pastries and two coffees. You find a table and enjoy a quiet breakfast somewhere other than his van for a change. Not that you were complaining. You quite liked it there.

Tom stopped by the truck to deposit the remaining pastries, then you strolled hand-in-hand down the sidewalk toward the now-open florist. You picked out a pretty bouquet, paid - after a small argument with Tom, who'd already bought breakfast - and were on the road again.

The hospital wasn't far away. You stopped at reception, got directions to April's room, and found it quickly. A nurse poked her head in to make sure April wasn't sleeping, then announced that she had visitors. She held the door open, and you followed Tom in.

"Hello, love," Tom greets with a smile that lights up his whole face.

"Hi, April!" you chirp from behind him.

"Oh, you three are a welcome sight!" Three? Oh. Right. Bonnie the Bonsai, who Tom is placing beside the bed. You deposit her flowers on a nearby table, approach the other side of April's bed, and begin unpacking her bag for her. You spread the afghan over her legs at her request. Tom straightens out the other side. Teamwork, Grant.

"Have you already had breakfast?" Tom asks.

"If you can call that gruel breakfast," April sighs dramatically.

"Good thing we smuggled you in something decent, then," he winks, handing her the bag of pastries. She opens it, inhales deeply, and looks to the heavens with bliss on her face.

"My heroes," she grins. She pulls out a pastry and a napkin and hands you the bag. You place it on her bedside table, and Tom pours her a cup of water.

"Tommy, what happened to your face?" she asks, digging into her pastry like it was the best thing she'd ever eaten.

"I took a little tumble too," he claims. It wasn't a lie. There was tumbling involved.

There were chairs on either side of her bed, so you each took one. Tom filled her in on what she'd missed at Sleepy Sunrise over the last day - mundane little details that she seemed to enjoy - until a woman in a yellow sweater came in and hovered awkwardly by the door.

"Amelia, come meet my young friends!" The woman steps forward hesitantly, and Tom gets up to introduce himself, then you. "Amelia is my granddaughter. She wants me to come live with her!"

"You're leaving me, love?" Tom asks, hands over his heart like he's hurt.

"You want to take care of an old lady with a broken hip, Tommy?"

They both grin, but you know he would.

Tom surrendered his chair to Amelia and came to sit on the arm of yours. You didn't mind at all; in fact, you had to fight the urge to wrap your arm around him. April told the three of you - four, if you count Bonnie - all about her favorite nurses, and how bland the food was, and eventually surrendered one of her treasured pastries to Amelia.

"Might I have a moment alone with the patient?" a doctor asks politely, as if it were actually a question. The three of you clear out and gather in a waiting room at the end of the hall. The silence is awkward, but only lasts a minute.

"I've asked Gran to come live with me," Amelia forces a smile, "but she's trying to fight me on it."

"Why's she fighting?"

"Says she likes it where she is," she shrugs. "Don't know why." Tom's shoulders tense. "No offense intended. It's just that she's all alone there."

"She's got me."

"And where were you when she wandered off this week? And the time last week?" Before Tom can defend himself, she continues. "I can't believe she's gotten this bad, and no one bothered to call me."

Tom is clenching his fists. You decide to speak before he says something he'll regret.

"Amelia, it's wonderful that you're here, and that you've asked your grandmother to come stay with you. But when she's at home, Tom's the one who fixes things for her, and takes her shopping, and keeps her company when he's not working. He's trying his best."

They both stare at the floor.

"I need you to convince her to come with me," Amelia states. "She won't even be able to get up the steps to her caravan for ages. If she comes with me, she could probably leave next week. Enter from the ground floor, be looked after, and get to know her great-grandchildren."

"What's keeping her from agreeing to go?" Tom asks.

"I don't know. Which is why I need you to find out, and convince her it's for the best. She speaks highly of you. Trusts you."

Tom rubs his eyes and sighs.

"All done!" The nurse from earlier reappears. "You can go back in now."

Tom and Amelia stare at each other.

"Amelia, would you like to come downstairs for a drink with me? Give Tom a few minutes with your grandmother?"

She nods and rises from her chair, and you and Tom do the same. You give his shoulder a squeeze and follow Amelia to the elevator. You can see him entering April's room as the doors close.

You and the woman you've just met order coffee and sit awkwardly at a small table in the bright white cafeteria.

"How long have you been together?" she asks.

"Uh…" you can't fight the smile on your face. "Technically, we're not. I'm just here 'til my car gets fixed, then I'm headed home."

These are facts, and you're not even a little bit devastated over having to say them out loud.

You ask about her kids to distract from the lies you're telling yourself, and just like any mom, that's all it takes to make her open up. She carries the rest of the conversation, and you smile and nod when it seems appropriate.

When Amelia finally stops for a breath, she looks at her watch. "It's been thirty minutes. D'you think he's had time to charm her yet?"

"He probably did that twenty-eight minutes ago," you wink.

You clean up your table and return April's room. Amelia enters first.

"What took you so long?" April grins from her bed. Tom sits next to her, sporting a matching expression. He pats her hand and rises from his chair, coming to you.

"Can I talk to you a minute?" You nod, and he tilts his head toward the door. You lead the way.

"April's going to go live with her granddaughter," he says when the door closes.

"You talked her into it?"

"Yeah. But, uh… one of her worries was strangers coming in and going through her things. Amelia told her they would hire movers to come in and take care of everything. She didn't want that. So… what if we did it?"

You look at him strangely. What is he getting at?

"I mean… I know your car's ready, and nothing's stopping you from leaving. And I can do it myself, if you want to go. But if you didn't mind staying for a little longer… I'm sure she'd really appreciate it."

"She would?"

"Are you really gonna make me say it?"

"Make you say what, Tom?"

"Please don't leave yet."

You launch yourself into his arms so he can't see the tears streaming down your face.