#LOVE U MAY

[aiskersa2]

One of my bestest friends made this for me bc Levi keeps showing up in my dreams 😭

[beedeewun]

he sit

[gunstellations]

mlem 👅

[inkskinned]

so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

[danidoodels]

his cape wings except I made them actual wings

[beeqisch]

yap yap yap

bad photo of the keychain ver ahehehehe (i dont have any other photos and they sold out... sobs....)

[vaguely-concerned]

are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid

[roastbeasts]

short rest

first img id: a digital drawing of thistle and chimera falin from dungeon meshi. chimera falin is singing with her front two dragon legs crossed. she is drawn fat. thistle is resting against chimera falin's feathers and is playing a lute. he is dwarfed by chimera falin's size. end id

second img id: a three panel digital comic of thistle and chimera falin. in the first panel, chimera falin is singing against a solid orange background. in the second panel, she is startled by text that says "SNRRK-" against a yellow to white gradient. in the third panel, thistle lays asleep against chimera falin's back leg. he is snoring. to his left is a textbox that says "he fell asleep". end id

[stil-lindigo]

reverb in an empty hall.

prints (all proceeds go towards aid for Gaza)

[kimdokjas]

@animangacreators challenge ⟡ spring 2024

↳ WIND BREAKER

You haven't given up on others yet. And you don't need to give up. At the least I'm looking your way, Sakura. So why don't you look this way as well? If you do, I'm sure… you'll become what you want to be.

[paradiserotting]

My biggest fan and follower guys 😁

you better believe it darling

[ryllen]

zayne, hurting in so many levels x x

[elitisim]

FADES WAVES AND TAPERS -CONVERSION COLLECTION

So I recently reached 500 followers, which is like CRAZY because I've only been posting content for a month?! The overwhelming amount of love and support I've received over the past month has made me misty-eyed on more than one occasion, ngl. Y'all have been so sweet and so wonderful and so extremely encouraging, I'm so proud to be part of this community💙! So, as a little thank-you present for everyone and as a nice end-cap for all the black male hair spam I did for Black History Month I've decided to drop a conversion collection of 21 male hairs themed around waves, fades and tapers for y'all!

Thank you so much everyone!

INFO:

None of this is my original work! All credit goes to @ceeproductions, @estrojans, @hellagoodsims,@xxblacksims, @xldsims, @pralinesims, & @mathcopesims.

Set contains 21 hairs for for Teen ➤ Elder Males

all of these hairs are gameplay safe! most of them are around 500 polys, the largest ones clock in at about 5k poly at most.

1024x textures

hairs are too short for root/tip controls so they're only 2 channels

credits, preview pictures, links to originals, poly counts and individual download links for every hair is under the cut.

these are meshes! the hair is NOT painted on the sims head like BG hairs!

but on the brightside that means they don't get that shiny look painted on hairs have.

some hairs have slight clipping issues around the temples but hopefully nothing too crazy tbh.

Tagging: @pis3update, @naturalhair-sims3, @xto3conversionsfinds, @kpccfinds

[DOWNLOAD MERGED]

[DOWNLOAD UNMERGED]

[PICK AND CHOOSE]

CREDITS:

@ceeproductions: Taper Fade // 1.9k Poly // [Download Here] @estrojans: Sharp Waves Redux Curve // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Afro Short // 4.3k Poly // [Download Here]

@estrojans:: Sharp Waves Redux: Temp Fade// 500 Poly// [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Brian Waves// 4.3k Poly // [Download Here] @estrojans: Sharp Waves Redux// 500 Poly // [Download Here]

@estrojans: Sharp Waves Redux: Flame Design// 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Amaru Fade// 2.1k Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: AD Taper Fade // 5.1k Poly // [Download Here]

@hellagoodsims: Caesar Fade / /500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Taper with Long Part //500 Poly// [Download Here] @mathcopesims: Kevin Hair / 500 Poly// [Download Here]

@hellagoodsims: Korey Fade // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: PG-15 Waves // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: PG-13 Waves // 500 Poly // [Download Here]

@hellagoodsims: Wolverine Claw Fade // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: PG-14 Waves // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Lance 720 Waves // 500 Poly // [Download Here]

@pralinesims: Nonstop Buzzcut // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @xxblacksims: Waves on Swim // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @xldsims: The Vindicator // 2.5k Poly // [Download Here]

[haomnyangz]

Prompto, Gladio, Ignis. I leave it to you. Walk tall, my friends. FINAL FANTASY XV (2016)

[teaitis]

Faculty Wardrobe!

[nerdylizj]

my birthday wish for percy jackson is that rick riordan stops writing him ❤️🫶🏻 happy birthday king