#LOUIS FANS HAVE NEVER DINED SO WELL
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GODDD louis and identity!!!!!! he’s always performing he’s always repressing and vampirism didn’t free him from a damn thing he’s the breadwinner, the favored son, the gentle hand, the kind word, the black sheep, the outcast, the lover, the father, the brother, the mourner, the saint, the vampire with the guilt that weighs him down that pulls him under and makes him beautiful and yes he’s drowning but at least he’ll die human even that creates another layer between himself and the rest of the world and he literally can’t go on like this so. so
#WHO ARE YOU OUTSIDE OF ME#WHO ARE YOU LOUISSSS#I’m gonna DIEEEEEEEEE#he’s in so deep he can’t even dig himself out anymore that’s why he wants Daniel’s help I’m gonna THROW UPPPP#GONNA BE SICKKKKK OVER HIM#CHARACTER OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!#LOUIS FANS HAVE NEVER DINED SO WELL#louis de pointe du lac#interview with the vampire#iwtv s2#iwtv spoilers#iwtv#m watches iwtv
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tell me about your larrie story dear ☕ luv u
hihi, yes i will! ❤️❤️ love u too
so i was never a directioner when the band was together. i was younger than their target demographic, and even then, i had almost no interest in teen pop culture. if you had shown me a photo of one direction i could probably identify only harry and zayn. i also knew there was a liam in the group (because my brother's name is liam), but i didn't know what he looked like. and i didn't know anything about louis or niall.
but somewhere along the way, i caught wind of larry. and i had pretty anti-tendencies, because i immediately bought the "OMG their crazy fans ruined their friendship!!!!11!!1" nonsense, and sometimes i'd even fight larries in youtube comment sections. like i distinctly remember purposely clicking a video where louis talks about F and seeing comments saying F wasn't his kid, and immediately fighting them. i wasn't a deranged anti, but i was very against it overall.
(more under the cut, this got very long i'm sorry!!!!)
everything changed when may 2021 attacked. yes, it's recent and yes, i'm being dramatic. a lot of things happened all at once, so here we go!
1) i decided to look up The Story by Conan Gray. i clicked on the lyric video on YouTube, and there were literally sooo many larrie comments. i was like wtf?? why are there so many deluded people here? (i still think they're deluded btw, but for different reasons. they were all twarries).
2) i can't remember the exact context but i also decided to search on YouTube for I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. and, well, we all know that's one of our larrie anthems. so again, i was baffled by the amount of people who "believed in this larry crap" in the comments.
3) my friend's birthday was coming up, and i wanted to play a song for her on my guitar. my friend used to be a harrie (she's actually tagged here as 'my anti bff'), and i even remember her sending me a couple of his songs from HS1 back when it released. back then i didn't have spotify, so the only songs of his i had on my phone were Woman and From The Dining Table. so at this point i was like, vaguely aware of his music. so i decided to go through his songs on YouTube for a good song to learn. lo and behold, i click on sweet creature — and the comments were flooded with larries.
so these three things made me wonder — damn, there's a lot of larries still kicking around, huh? and i would've left it at that, but my traitorous brain made me keep thinking about it. like, hmm, i wonder what is it about larry that still makes people think they're together.
thus, i started tentatively searching larry on Twitter and Tiktok. then my YouTube started recommending me larry compilations.
it still took a long time to convince me larry was real, and an even longer time to convince me that they were still together still going stroooong. but that's basically how i started my descent into madness!
(also i became a louis fan during afhf in case anyone was wondering)
hope that didn't bore you anything... i just have a lot of ✨ feelings ✨
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two questions: why don’t you like harry and do you really think harry villanized the weed video or do you think that was the people attempting to court him (azoffs)
Whew, this is a long one folx!
Why don’t you like Harry [Styles]?
Let me preface this response by saying that I’m a pretty new “fan” if one can still call me that. I got into the One Direction fandom in the summer of last year, and much of my opinions of the boys where shaped by fan reactions. After gathering more and more information however, I realized that the fandom and I were wrong about some things, and over hyping others.
Still, it wasn’t until this year that I actually broke out of the Harry-centric bubble to realize that the shady goings on where much worse than I originally thought. Add to this my realization that Harry’s music really doesn’t withstand the test of time, and that his persona is pretty Stagnant, and I’ve come to feel rather bamboozled.
Of course I know that the entire point of his PR team is to sway public opinion of him one way, and if I ate it up that was part of the plan. That doesn’t mean I have to like it. It also doesn’t mean I feel any less hurt about it. It also doesn’t mean that I like when other people fawn over him, as quite a lot of what I’m going to say has been public knowledge, and some of it before I was even a fan.
A. Music
Actually getting to a big part of the problem here, his music isn’t good. Well, not long term like I said in the preface. He doesn’t really have much of a vocal range despite being a singer for more than ten years. He does not care and acts like he does, often leading to him sounding like he’s screaming instead of singing. He’s lyrics are boring and flat, and his melodies are fine, they just don’t make up for his unmemorable lyrics. I personally think that the cause is him more heavily relying on song writers to fill in more in more, but that’s mostly because I don’t want to believe that the same person who wrote Happily and Olivia also wrote At the Dining Table and Treat People With Kindness, because that would just mean he’s getting worse or putting forth less effort.
Of course one could argue that I’m not a professional, I don’t have the necessary Jargon to correctly critique, and I’m no longer a singer so I can’t even do what he does. But to that I say fuck off. I know what sounds good! I know what I like!
Even more than that though, If you bought a product (non food), and you could only use that product for the first two weeks you bought it, you’d say it was a shit product! You’d scream from the rooftops that no one should ever buy this product because it’s crap! Well guess what? I pre-ordered Fine Line just to listen for two weeks and never pick it up again except for golden, she’s a funky tune every couple months.
Besides the test of time, there is still the subject of actual talent/listenability if you will. I feel there’s four main categories when I listen to music that makes it worth listening to
1.Amazing voice
2.Awesome lyrics
3.Funky/ cool ass melody/Beat
4.Catchy as hell
Now, a song doesn’t need to be all four, however the more they have the more likely I am to like the song. Also, I’ve said “main categories” because I’ve definitely had songs were I just through the beat drop was cool, or maybe the bridge was sick as hell, or maybe I just liked the pacing or the way the singer/singers stressed a note. Alternatively there is a sweet spot for me of super depressing lyrics but a melody/ that makes you want to dance. See: most of After Laughter by Paramore, Lola By Mika. But in general, those four usually make me love a song long term.
If it’s an album, it usually Just has to sound like it belongs on the same album/ tell a story. Like I really don’t like albums that sound like it’s just a playlist of songs personally. I should be able to listen to a song and go “oh yeah, that’s off --- album” or I didn’t like the album as a whole. An album is a bit like an outfit to me. It’s not going to be all tops, nor does it need to be monochromatic, but it does need to go together
For Example, I love Four as an album. I thought it was amazing. I still hate Spaces and Illusion. I hate both of their melodies, I don’t like the Illusion intro, I’m not to keen on those lyrics, and they’re definitely not catchy, I skip every time.
So taking that logic to Harry’s music, I think HS1 works very well as an album, almost all of the songs sound like they’re supposed to be there. And I hate every song but Kiwi. The lyrics are boring/don’t make a ton of sense, the melodies definitely don’t make up for that, he doesn’t have the range, and none of them are catchy! And then you get to Kiwi and she’s got that vibe you know? She’s a pop punk bop and I cannot fucking believe that Harry has one pop punk bop among unmemorable pop rock album.
Going to Fine line, It’s not as great as an album. There are some songs that don’t really feel like they fit? Like just going through the album, cherry doesn’t have any business being there? Like the lyrics fit sure, but what is that weird intro and outro? It probably would have been fine If the song didn’t have those two, but having them there upset the pace a bit I felt. And then there was Treat People With Kindness, which was really Jarring and doesn’t feel like it belongs on the album at all? It actually feels like it’s trying to be Kiwi - it’s loud and garish, and the lyrics are trying to be carefree, but! It just doesn’t work! TPWK sounds like Hippie music! Kiwi sounds like Brendon Urie could sing it and people would be like “good ol Panic!”. And then the album goes back down into Fine line the song, which again is Jarring because you’ve had this TPWK monstrosity right before it.
Then, looking at the overarching theme of his music, It’s whiny piss baby music He hates to take responsibility for his actions! It’s all in his lyrics! And don’t get me wrong, I love Honest lyrics, but not if the person is an asshole! LIke I fucking hate confessions by Usher specifically becasue he’s talking about how much he’s a piece of shit in the most whiny and piss baby way, making it all about him and no the people he hurt. I also really hate that one song that Zayn did with Usher and Chris Brown, because you have these awful men completely misunderstanding what it means to write a love song, and then you have Zayn at the very end all like “actually I really am in love tho…” Esp Chris browns verse! It boils down to “Hey I know I was a asshole seven billion times but I miss you tho :(“ GIRL BYE!
Harry sounds the exact same though, Except he can’t even blame himself for his own mistakes, and just wades through self pity about how the object of his affection won’t love him even though he didn’t even do anything except it wasn’t his fault and why are you still mad it wasn’t even his fault and he was young and reckless and drunk and horny. Like??? WRITE A NEW SONG TAYLOR SWIFT 2.0! There’s only so much you can repackage the same narrative before it becomes stale no Cinderella does not count keep that shit coming. And It really jumps out in his writing, even through 1d, although I will say there were some catchy beats, and awesome lines to keep him afloat back then. Although wtf was Walking in the Wind??? Choke!
Then there are the melodies I’m talking post wondee here which often give this 70’s pop rock vibe. Which fine I guess, it’s his brand, but that doesn’t make it interesting. Or new. Or fresh. Or an interesting take.
Now I completely understand relying on nostalgia to boost people’s opinion, but you could at leas have the decency to actually have good music. For Example, Miss you by Louis Tomlinson has a very distinctive pop rock feel, but it’s also an amazing song. Great lyrics, amazing voice, catchy liddle diddy that happens to be reminiscent of that 2005- 2010 punk pop/emo pop feel. Sour diesel has that like,,,basey 90s pop feel, and it fucking works with the lyrics, and of course his voice is beautiful. When Walls dropped and Lou put out that playlist of songs that were an inspiration, you can hear the influences when you listen to the album, but they’re also really good songs in their own right, with amazing lyrics, and Louis’ distinctive voice. Comparing that to Harry, it seems like he’s mostly relying on people’s nostalgia rather than actually good music.
Okay so this last point I’m making on music is a little petty but it’s been like a week and I’m still pissed about it so I’m saying it now. Someone said that Harry Styles is the best pop rock artist right now???? Just admit that you don’t listen to pop rock tf. Louis Tomlinson is right there. Brendon Urie is right there. Mika is right there. Haley Williams is right there. Janell Monae is right there. I don’t listen to a lot of pop rock lol but i feel my point has been made
B. Public Persona
He get’s so much clout! SO MUCH CLOUT! For doing the bare minimum (this is not specifically about the fandom, that’s for later)! People will write all these glowing reviews of him for him??? Being polite??? Like okay and? Just because a person is polite doesn’t mean they’re fucking Jesus??? There’s a million and one stories so i’m not fucking looking them up but there’s the pizza story and the fish story and the plane story and the snl story and the Stormzy story and the WS story on and on and on! Stop giving this man brownie points for basic human decency. “I didn’t expect him to be like that!” okay is that because of their perception of what a rock star is supposed to be like? Because in that case we need to start holding people accountable for being assholes. Or is it because he seems like an asshole. Cause valid.
I also don’t like him leaning so heavily on the queer image thing. Like! If that’s how he likes to express himself, Fine, But so much of it is just...so manufactured! And I Know I’ve heard people say oh well he wore the one rainbow on his lapel that one time or he wore the shirt or he wore the Keith Harring.
1. That Rainbow pin is sus as hell I don’t care what ya’ll say It absolutely screams set up, if he wanted to not be seen he would have not been seen
2. That goes for literally every other time. I can’t believe it’s not a set up to push a queer image. (that he profits from!)
3. If he actually did his homework on Keith Harring he’d know that the man was a predator, and he wouldn’t have worn those shirts. It seems so performative! To add to that, does he know now? If so, why isn’t he using his platform to correct his mistake? Why didn’t he come out and let people know not to buy Harring’s stuff??? He knows the pull he has! He absolutely could have been like “I’ve made a mistake, if you are looking for queer artists to support, here’s some” But he fucking doesn’t
4. To add on to that last part, It is actually sus that he gets to profit off of this queer image, and yet the only queer voices that he’s propping up are white gays. And then not even directly? Not a “queer artists, esp queer artists of color are important and need their voices boosted because they are the back bone of society” but this wink nod type of deal, where again, he mainly boosts white gays.like??? One queer black woman that doesn’t work for the Azoffs, and then a bunch of white gays. Like?? That’s not racist to anyone else???????Just me? okay.
Now from a professional point of view, it’s even worse. I’m not saying that artists can’t be campy or blurr gender lines, or imply that they ‘re queer subtly. But I think it’s fucking disrespectful to play both ends. Like, he profits off of using the queer image, all while Dancing around the subject, but then on the back end he never says that Homophobes/Transphobes aren’t allowed in his fandom. He gives this empty ass tpwk and then washes his hands of it.
Don’t get me wrong, I am always upset when people who have lots of queerphobes in their fandom bullying and harassing the actual queer people never say anything to let queerphobes know they’re unwelcome (clearly money is better than morals) but for me it’s an extra kick to the gut for it to literally profit Harry to seem queer. Look at that time that gay company sold out shirts in less than an hour,because harry was wearing it and tell me people aren’t throwing money at him because they feel he’s queer.
C. Fashion
This one is a really rough one for me because this is partially what drew me into Harry in the first place. But he’s really not all that in terms of fashion. He’s expensive certainly, but sometimes, the things that are more expensive are worse. Even When He’s not looking like a grandparent out on the town, his style is very dated, and yet he gets paraded around like he’s the freshest new thing?? Like who is his team paying of for him to get that many articles about how he’s fashion’s biggest star. And the thing is, his style is even dated for the mainstream. There’s already a post about how he copies prominent pop/pop rock stars of the 70s, which means that his style is 50 years old for the mainstream. Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s totally fine if you’re addicted to seventies wear. I don’t think he should be heralded as this huge fashion star if his wardrobe is this dated
Even more than that. Gucci???? The Gucci with a history of Racism?? The Gucci with the child labor??? The Gucci with the 14 hour days Gucci??? Ugly ass Gucci????? Soulja Boy don’t even fuck with Gucci no more and he fuck with Gucci since like 2007. (although that was because of the racism, not cause it’s ugly)
I think that bothers me the most though. Like it’s not enough to exploit people, you also have to be tacky ugly and expensive???? For what??? @Gucci cease to exist please.
If Harry wants to be tacky ugly and expensive, that’s of course his rights to do so! But don’t act like he’s at the very pinnacle of fashion every time he does.
I’m actually always very conflicted about that. I personally prefer a style that’s very loud and campy and avant garde but like,,,,that ain’t it. Maybe it’s something you got it or ya don’t??? Like for example Billy Porter could wear a trashbag and make it work. The expensive sweaters and the slacks? The suits? Not a good look on one Harry Styles. Maybe it’s because they’re expensive sweaters and slacks and expensive suits. What are you, Ted from accounting??? Grow up.
D. Treat People With Kindness
Ugh this is the thing that pisses me off like the second to most. This phrase is so fucking empty. You could not have made up a more corporate mandated phrase if you fucking tried. It stands for nothing! Just like him!
Let’s break it down. “Treat people with kindness” is, at face value, a call to action. It’s asking you to do something. But it doesn’t actually tell you what to do!! So it’s pretty inoffensive! You don’t actually have to change your behavior in anyway for two main reasons:
1. What the hell is Kindness??? This phrase never actually says what it is??? It’s just this short little punchy thing that assumes you know what kindness is! What if you didn’t actually know? What if you have differing ideals of what is considered kindness? I mean to my mother, Misgendering me is kindness, but I don’t think that’s kindness. To my father, not letting his children have autonomy is kindness, but I don’t find that kind. And yet they could both use that phrase and feel confident that they go around treating people with kindness. After all they cooked dinner didn’t they? They smiled at Janice from public relations didn’t they? That’s kindness right?
2. It also assumes you know what “people” are. Queer people are people. Queerphobes don’t consider queer people, people. Racists aren’t going to consider some people, people. So they can continue their harassment and dehumanization of them and still be treating people with kindness, because they never harmed actual people (to them)
E. Harry bots
Bitch?? Corporate spies?? Tf ??? That’s not weird to ya’ll ?? I think the thing that shocked me more than someone from Colombia records admitting that he manufactures the hype around people signed to Colombia, is the fact that the Fandom been knew!!!! Ya’ll been knew and ya’ll wasn’t gon tell me???????? I just found out last week wtf????????
Another thing I don’t like about them Harry bots, is it’s one thing to hype up Harry, but why tf do they need to shit on the other boys??? Is it because they’re more talented, good looking, and charming??? How about you get good!!!! I esp hate that it’s usually Louis. What is Corporate’s obsession with putting Louis down like? What a bunch of fucking weirdos?? It’s not enough to be a Harry fan and live up his ass, I gotta hate Louis too?? You lost yo damn mind. If you reading this and you a spy? Die.
F. Capitalism
Honestly that should be the end of it but here the fuck we go I guess. Now I get that there is going to be some capitalism involved when you get music, especially mainstream music, there are tones of articles out there with people who used to be in the industry telling you about how fucking awful it is, all in the pursuit of money. (Which isn’t fucking real by the way! We made it up! People out here getting traumatized! Belittled! Bullied! Married off! So some corporation can make all the money! The Imaginary Credits! That we made up! I hate it here!)
But it’s another fucking thing to participate in a capitalist system? He invested into that one sleep app, even going to do one of the voice sessions (So you could have Harry Styles themed sleep paralysis) and you pay for that! He makes money off that! It’s not enough that you buy his mediocre music or his ugly ass merch, you also have to give him money through the sleep paralysis app.
Then there was that Google Camp for Rich People Only! I don’t even want to fucking hear that it was on Climate Change oh wow all the rich people took helicopters and Yachts to a resort with manicured lawns??? To talk about how they treat the environment? That’s not at all Counter intuitive! Not at all for show! Fucking disgusting.
Oh and the Covid Shirt! Really bitch??? You need to Profit off a deadly pandemic? Are you profiting off of AIDS next you fucking bastard. And he can of course get a tax write of for his “ charitable donation” fuck off.
G. Racism
This! This is the thing that gets me the most! YA’LL CAN EXCUSE RACISM???
No, I’m not talking about the Native American Headdress thing, that was plenty despicable on it’s own, No I’m talking about the on going racism. The whole, using black people for clout and then dropping them and never returning the favor when they sing his praises thing. Specifically I’m thinking of Sis the activist, Stormzy, and Lizzo.
The Lizzo thing pisses me off the most actually. I think it’s very fucking convenient that Harry started taking interest in Lizzo after there was uproar from black fans noting his hypocrisy of performing for Pepsi (Notoriously racist) and Having BLM sticker on his guitar. So he shows up at one of her concerts dressed like a senior citizen that got lost on the way to the retirement home bathroom. She looked fucking amazing and he couldn’t put forth the effort to at least not look senile. Then there was the covering of her songs, and then there was the cuddling up with her at the awards show. Funny how I haven’t seen any interaction after the fact! And Of course everyone forgot about the Pepsi concert! Fuck all the way off!!
Also! Are we just never going to talk about the fact that he didn’t comment on the blm protests earlier this year until his team could gauge whether or not it would be profitable to do so by DATA MINING HIS FAN BASE???? And then when he actually did he got the most praise for it, truly fucking hate it here. Also when he marched with those protesters he made sure we knew it was him. There were posts flouting around everywhere on how to best cover up to make yourself completely unrecognizable should you wind up on camera or fucking worse, get attacked by the police. Funny how Close Sprouse could follow the advice and not Harry? Also supper funny how he got the hell out of dodge before things got super bad and I have not heard anything on the matter since. Guess what Harry??? We’re still out here fighting for the rights to exist! Still wanna have a photo op while our own government tries to squash us with force????? This is like that Jenner Pepsi ad but with sunglasses and a pandemic.
H. Fandom
I think I would hate him less if I didn’t have to hear about him every hour of everyday. Stop Hyping this man so much. Even after unfollowing and blocking a bunch of Harries and Larries he’s all across my dash. And twitter. And insta. KURTIS CONNER FUCKING LIKES HIM I JUST WANTED CRACK CONTENT AND NOW LOOK.
I. Conclusion.
After writing all this I think the running theme is that Harry Styles isn’t even a person, he’s a brand. I do not like or trust brands! And I definitely don’t like being advertised to! Just like It’s fake as fuck when Absolut is all about queer rights, it’s fake as fuck when Harry does it too. Just like I know Target doesn’t actually care about Black lives, I know Harry doesn’t either. People are always like “oh he’s so nice!” no! He’s polite! There’s a difference. Zayn Is a truly kind person. Liam is a truly kind person. Louis is a truly kind person. It shines though so brightly all the time, and yet people are really out here worshiping the Brand Harry Styles.
Do I think It was Harry or The Azoffs throwing Zouis under the bus.
Truly doesn’t matter! Whichever one did it, Harry was totally fine with it! Which tells me that he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He’ll go along with anything as long as it gets him to the top, and that’s fucked up on one million and one levels
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From the dining table
March 2017
Louis sat in the kitchen looking around, dust covering every possible surface. Princess Park, their first home, the place they bought together without telling anyone and then never sold after the breakup. Maybe because they couldn't see each other and not end up in bed, regretting it in the morning. Maybe because they both knew this time apart meant nothing. They were destined to be together, a love no one could understand, right?
The last time he saw Harry was after the presentation of his single Just Hold On on the X-Factor, but they had not been a proper couple for around a year. If you didn’t count the sex, of course. Louis didn’t. Sex didn’t mean much, not when he knew what it felt like to be in a relationship with Harry Styles for 5 years. They would have stopped seeing each other when the band started the hiatus if it wasn’t for his mom's health getting worse. Harry stood next to him all those months, giving him comfort, keeping her company when Louis was too tired to stay awake. Harry was part of his family, after all. And Louis knew Anne, Gems and Robin felt the same way about him.
The reason for their break up was a mystery for everyone, a question never answered. They belonged together, no one could say the opposite after expending time with the couple for 10 minutes. Either you were blind or disgusted by their love, in a cute way.
Louis knew, of course. It was a decision, more than anything. They felt like the only thing holding them together was the band and decided to take a break to figure out if there was more than that. So they never sold their first home because there was no chance they weren't going back together.
Lately, Louis wasn’t so sure about that. To be honest, he wasn't sure about anything. The sky was pouring like it should be, for mood purposes. The lump in his throat made breathing hard, the weight in his chest holding him down in the chair. He closed his eyes, he wasn’t going to cry. The promise he made to his mother was still clear in his mind and it was killing him. Because lately, it felt like Harry had forgotten about them. With his solo music, the movie, all that pr girlfriends Louis knew he hated. All that glamour, all those lights. Why would he be thinking about Louis? Maybe they were right, maybe it wasn’t destiny but circumstance.
Things got worse recently, after Niall went to his flat a couple of days before, wearing that big old tee and Louis told him he smelled like Harry. He wasn’t jealous, not really. It was Niall, for god’s sake. But Niall was around his baby a lot, they had a close friendship not many knew about. Something about the unusual sadness in Niall's eyes told him much more than the calls Haz never answered. Harry didn’t want him anymore. They were done.
The pressure in his head felt compressive like the one in his heart. All those shots, pints and pot weren’t a good combination. Neither was that boy with curls but the wrong shade of green when he woke up that morning in a hotel room, unable to remember much about the night before. But what else could he do? How could he go to Harry right now and tell him he was sorry for his insecurities? For ruining everything without a good reason? How could he tell him he was sorry? Liam and Oli said he needed to give it time, but everyday felt a little bit more far away from home. So he came back.
There was a notepad where they used to write the grocery list sitting on the counter, next to the fridge. He took it and the pen on the table, the dim light coming from the closed window. He didn't know what to do, how to get out of this pain, this love. How to be himself again.
So Louis did the only thing he felt like he could do right: he wrote a song. It was more of a letter, really. But it was shaped like a song, that was his strong suit after all. And Harry loved to see him write, once upon a time. Used to dance with him in that kitchen, used to make him pancakes in the morning. They used to talk and fuck and chat for hours between those walls.
To Harry:
Woke up alone in this hotel room
Played with myself, where were you?
Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon
I've never felt less cool
We haven't spoke since you went away
Comfortable silence is so overrated, Harry
Why won't you ever be the first one to break?
Even my phone misses your call, by the way
I saw Niall the other day
He said you feel just fine
I see you gave him my old t-shirt
More of what was once mine
I see it's written, it's all over his face
Comfortable silence is so overrated
Why won't you ever say what you want to say?
Even my phone misses your call,
And by the way
Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too
But you, you never do
Woke up this boy who looked just like you
I almost said your name
We haven't spoke since you went away
Comfortable silence is so overrated
Why won't you ever say what you want to say?
Even my phone misses your call
By the way…
He stopped there, unable to continue. His hand was shaking, the tears were smushing the ink on the paper. What a fucking cliche, crying after promising himself he wasn’t going to do it. Nothing could hurt as much as losing his mum, nothing could compare. So why was he crying? Why couldn’t he just fucking stop?
Louis got up from the chair and walked away from the dining table, leaving the notepad there. He knew deep in his broken heart that the next time he came back it was going to be there. Left and forgotten, just like that house and those memories. Louis left it there next to his allowance to feel sorry for himself. He needed to grow up, get away from those parties and false people. He was going to get his shit together, write away his feelings and find his sound.
And if Harry didn’t want him in his life, then there was nothing left to do, right?
May 2017
The recording of Back to you was finally over and now they need it to work in the music video and he wanted to film it on Doncaster. It felt right to go back to his ‘home’, if he couldn't go back home, you know what I mean? It went well with the theme.
Louis was driving back from the studio to his flat when a notification popped out in this phone: Harry’s album was out and apparently, people thought a couple of songs were about him. Louis wasn't going to be surprised if they were, both wrote about each other a lot along the way. And the fans loved to link things, made up theories about the Larry situation. Something he wished he could out and say ‘yes it was true but it's over now, please stop tagging me, it hurts’. It didn’t. not as much anymore.
Or that’s what he thought until he heard track 4, Two Ghost. He knew those lyrics, Harry had written them years ago. That is what they used to call each other’s public images: ghosts. Images without a soul. What a young and dramatic pair they used to be, back in 2013.
He didn't cry with that one, maybe because of its familiarity. And he wasn’t even mad about the songs about girls, he knew Harry better than that, even after all this time.
Next was Sweet Creature, the one everyone was speculating about, and honestly Harry, ‘two hearts, one home’? The song felt different. Maybe because he thought that Harry didn’t really remember about their lost home, about being young and in love. Too young to know, most people used to say. What a fool he was for listening. Now he knew, and it was too late.
Kiwi was funny in the most depressing way for him, Woman felt like an anthem, it felt like Harry’s jealousy, his deep and most dark possessive behavior. But then, when a chord from a guitar came in he went to his phone to check the name. He wasn’t quick enough, tho. The first verse stopped him right there. It was a good thing he parked in his apartment building a couple of songs ago.
Because there, in the shape of the last song of H’s first album, it was Louis' letter. His feelings in a notepad, in the shape of an awkward song. Almost word by word, Harry’s voice filled the car with calmness and longing, a branch of olive. He was giving the first step. If those little easter eggs along the album weren’t enough, he took Louis letter from two fucking months ago and put it there. He probably had to push the label to do it, with such short notice. Harry went out of his way to let him know it wasn’t over.
Harry went back to Princess Park, just like him. He went back home.
----
His friend picked up the phone after two missed calls.
‘Oi Lou, how ya doin?’ the thick Irish accent wasn’t enough of a distraction.
‘Hey lad, I’m fine. Sorry to bother but I need to ask you something’ he could hear the urgency in his own voice.
‘Never a bother mate, whatever you need’ Niall, always the optimistic. Louis loved him.
‘Is Harry staying here? In London I mean’
‘What? What's going on?’ and then ‘Oh, the album is out, innit?’
‘Yeah…’
‘Okay, well, Harry was going to be with Nick today so yeah, he must be doing press shit’
‘Of course, makes sense, thank you mate. I will explain later ’
‘Sure, use protection’
Louis rolled his eyes but didn’t deny the implications. The car came to life once again and he started driving to Harry’s house. The one they used to spend time in when they had some time between recording and touring. He didn’t even feel annoyed by the traffic, listening to the album all over again. Letting his body welcome Harry once again.
Of course, he still had his keys, drowned deep in the glovebox. He wasn’t going to enter the actual house, but it wouldn’t have been smart to stay outside on the street, someone could recognise him.
So once he parked in front of the building and noticed Harry wasn’t home, he closed his eyes and took a breath after what felt like hours. The next time he opened them there was a hand taping on his windows, he had fallen asleep.
It was a big hand adorned with rings and some nail polish. Louis knew what it felt to hold it more than he knew his own face. He took a deep breath and opened the door. Harry was waiting outside, a small smile making just one dimple appear. It was the first time they had seen each other in months but Louis felt like no time had passed. And if Louis was going to turn into an idiotic helpless cliche then it better be because of a boy as wonderful and beautiful as him. There was no one else. Harry was it.
‘I thought it was going to take you longer ’
‘To listen to the album or to get my shit together? ’
Harry seemed to consider his answer for a second, the dramatic little shit that he was. Then he smiled and Louis forgave him immediately.
‘Both’
Louis laughed and took a step closer to the love of his life.
‘I’m sorry, baby, I'm really sorry ’
‘Me too’
‘If you let me kiss you right now I’m never letting you go again. It's your choice’
‘Never wanted you to go in the first place’
‘Right answer’
And then they kissed because there wasn't much left to say. At least not right now. The conversation could wait for the next morning, once they had sex, pancakes and maybe a little dance in the kitchen. For old times sake.
----
Soooo, I wrote this because I couldn’t get the idea of Louis writing this song out of my head. And like, it sounds so much like Harry’s writing, this is not a theory at all. But I liked the idea so yeah. It’s probably gonna be my first and only fic about Larry, hope you like it.
All the mistakes are mine and its noy my first language, sorry if the grammar is trashy. Thanks.
#larry#larry stylinson#larry fic#larry fic rec#larry fanfic#fanfic#harry styles#louis tomlinson#canon compliant#but fiction#i don't think they broke up#and if they did is not my bussiness#just so you know
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Eye of the Sky
Ch. 2
Pairing: Namjoon x oc
Genre: heist au, action
word count: 1,791
warnings: action, violence, gun violence, car chases, car crashes, swearing, blood probably
notes: heist au, action, adventure, crime, enemies to lovers, ooc namjoon, because he has his license lol
Summary: Ten years ago, Namjoon's father was killed by his best friend and partner in crime, A man who now goes by the name Hawthorne. Now, Namjoon wants to get into the family business in order to avenge his father's death. After finding the man who killed his father, Namjoon builds a team and creates an elaborate plan to finally take the man down.
But will they be able to get through Hawthorne's state-of-the-art security system? And will they succeed with a mysterious assassin chasing them? Let's just say, it's a good thing Namjoon's team members keep surprising him with useful skills.
@mozy-j @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @daechwitad-2
In the top floor penthouse in downtown Seoul, Taehyung stood in his walk-in closet, tying his tie in front of the floor length mirror. He checked the time. Five minutes before he had to leave. A text from his driver let him know that his ride was downstairs. After pulling his jacket on and checking himself one last time, he left his penthouse and made his way downstairs.
The drive was quiet. Taehyung appreciated his early morning drives to the museum; it was a moment of peace before getting to work.
His museum was his pride and joy. The building was all white marble, Grecian in design with a massive atrium dome in the center of the roof. He built it himself, without his father’s help. Not that his father would have helped him even if he were alive. His father was killed when Taehyung was a teenager, but the man was never very present in Taehyung’s life. He was almost always overseas on business, a business Taehyung was now in charge of.
Taehyung never minded. He loved what he did. The thrill of it was almost as great as the wealth that came with it. The only thing he wished was different was the fame. He was the owner of the biggest private museum in Korea, not to mention the youngest, and with that title came press. He passed a billboard on the way to his museum, his own face looking down at the expressway.
Stealing famous art and priceless artifacts would definitely be easier if his face wasn’t on every Louis Vuitton cologne and Rolex advertisement.
His museum came into view and he was pleased to see he already had a line outside, waiting for the doors to open. There was a new exhibit opening today, and he was just as excited about it as the people waiting along the sidewalk.
Once he was in his office, his assistant came in with a frazzled look on her face.
“Sir, there’s a big problem,” she said.
Taehyung took a deep breath before saying, “What’s wrong?”
“One of our tour guides called in, he said he came down with something,” she said, frantically riffling through the disorganized mess of papers in her arms. “Which leaves us with only five guides. We’re going to be overloaded. There’s going to be children running around like monkeys, putting their filthy hands on the new exhibit-“
Taehyung grabbed his assistant’s shoulders and fought against the smile threatening to come out. This was just like her, panicking every time something small didn’t go according to plan.
“I will take his place,” Taehyung said.
“But, sir…”
“It’s my exhibit after all,” said Taehyung. “Who better than me to give the tour?”
“Are you sure? People will recognize you,” she said. “Your most recent photoshoot for Hyundai is currently trending on Twitter. You’ll distract from the exhibit.”
“I am sure,” said Taehyung. “I don’t think I’ll be a distraction.”
His assistant gave him a skeptical and not at all placated look as she left his office.
The museum doors were finally open and visitors were pouring in. The crowd was split up into six different tour groups, and Taehyung began his speech throughout the new exhibit. Quite a few eyes were glued to him rather than the exhibit, but he paid them no mind.
A few tours later and something caught Taehyung’s eye through the crowd. He stuttered in the middle of his speech and stared wide eyed at the visitors waiting for him at the entrance.
“Everyone, if you would please pardon me for a moment,” he said. “Please be responsible and follow the signs through the exhibit. Another guide will find you in a moment.”
Taehyung pulled his earpiece and microphone off and pushed through the crowd of visitors. He made it to the front doors of the museum and stopped in front of two men, his smile dropping.
“What are you doing here?” Taehyung whispered.
Jin smiled and said, “What, we’re not allowed to visit an old friend?”
�� “I’m working,” said Taehyung. “You can’t bring this here-“
“Meet with us tonight,” said Namjoon. He handed Taehyung a slip of paper. Taehyung took it and slipped it into his inside coat pocket without tearing his eyes from them.
“I will speak with you later,” he said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I was in the middle of a tour.”
Taehyung backed away from them and then made his way back to his tour group.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“How do you know he’ll actually show up?” Jin asked as they drove back to Namjoon’s apartment.
“He will,” said Namjoon. “He lives for this kind of thing. Literally. He does jobs like this for a living.”
“I thought his museum was honest now,” said Jin. “Doesn’t he do modelling now too?”
“Oh, sure. His museum is honest alright,” said Namjoon. He took the turn into his parking garage. “If by honest you mean every single piece on display there was stolen one way or another.”
“Doesn’t he buy or…” Jin began.
“Sometimes. But most of the time, he acquires them himself,” Namjoon said as he parked the car. Jin’s Mercedes was parked beside them.
“I’m glad we have him on our side then,” said Jin. They sat in silence for a while before Jin said, “Well, I will see you later tonight. Tell your mother I say hello.”
“I will,” said Namjoon. Jin opened the passenger door and stepped out, getting right into his own car beside them. Namjoon waited a few minutes after Jin drove off before leaving the parking garage himself.
The prison loomed over Namjoon as he stood in front of it, leaning against his car. He didn’t have to wait long before he saw his mother step out of the double doors. He smiled as they met in the middle. His mom wrapped her arms around him and held him in a crushing hug.
“My son,” she said, her voice wobbly. “My beautiful son. Look at you.”
She pulled back and held his shoulders.
“You’re so handsome,” she said. “I mean, you’ve always been handsome, but there was that weird awkward phase you had-“
Namjoon scoffed and rolled his eyes as she burst out laughing.
“I missed you, mom,” he said.
“I missed you too.”
They got into the car and Namjoon began the drive back home.
“How’s your sister?” his mom asked.
“She graduated yesterday,” said Namjoon. “She wants to be a school teacher.”
“Good. I knew she’d be successful,” his mom said. “She’s a smart girl. You both are. How are you? What have you been doing with your life?”
“I work for a tech company in Seoul but I’m planning on leaving them soon,” said Namjoon. “I have a lot of work to do for my new job. Jin says hi, by the way.”
His mother narrowed her eyes as she scrutinized him. “You’re planning something, aren’t you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Namjoon, keeping his eyes on the road.
“Well, I suppose it’s none of my business, as long you keep me out of it,” she said. “Whatever you’re up to, you know I won’t stop you. I just want you to be careful.”
“I will,” said Namjoon. They drove in silence for a while before he said, “I’m taking us out for dinner tomorrow to celebrate Geongmin’s graduation.”
“I can’t wait to see her. Why didn’t she come with you today?”
“She’s busy with interviews today,” said Namjoon. He chuckled at his mother’s shocked face. “I know, she doesn’t waste any time, right?”
“Good for her,” his mom said.
After getting home and helping his mother settle into her new apartment he had bought for her next door, Namjoon spent some time getting ready for his own meeting. Jin arrived early, then Taehyung shortly after. Namjoon served them drinks and then sat with them around his dining table.
“So, tell us the plan,” said Jin.
“Hawthorne’s collection is underground,” said Namjoon. “Behind a safe door that only opens with a password and thumbprint.”
“How are we going to get Hawthorne’s thumbprint?” asked Jin.
“We won’t,” said Namjoon. “Because that’s not the print we need. The only thumbprint that will open the door belongs to his son, Laurel Hawthorne. Laurel is the heir to the entire collection.”
“Ah! Laurel Hawthorne!” Taehyung exclaimed. “I’ve worked with him in the past. Not a fan.”
“You’re going to have to meet with him one last time to get the prints,” said Namjoon. “We’ll set up a meeting with him, where you’ll fake a sale. We’ll have someone hiding nearby with a tranquilizer gun. Once we take him out, you’ll nab his prints and we’ll be out of there.”
“This sounds dangerous,” said Jin.
“Inside the collection room is where the real trouble begins,” Namjoon continued. “Hawthorne uses a state-of-the-art technology to protect his collection. The security system inside uses gaseous detection. Once the door is opened, the room fills with a harmless gas. If there’s any kind of movement behind the barricades of the artifacts, another gas is released into the air, turning it toxic. From there, the person inside the chamber will only have a few minutes before dying. Once the security system is neutralized, and the cameras are placed in a loop, we’ll be able to just go in and take what we want. We’ll obviously replace everything with fakes, especially the Sky’s Eye, the item we need to leave with.”
“Ah, the Sky’s Eye,” said Taehyung. “I had a feeling the necklace was what this was about. But I thought only one man has been in possession of the Sky’s Eye for ten years.”
“You are correct,” said Jin. “Hawthorne is the very same man.”
Taehyung’s eyes widened as he made the connection.
“Hawthorne is Montgomery,” he whispered. “So, this job isn’t just for the necklace.”
“We’ll do all of this on the day of Hawthorne’s party, while he’s distracted,” said Namjoon. “We just need to find a way to get an invitation.”
“Yes, that will be difficult,” said Jin.
“Do you know anyone who’s going?” Namjoon asked Jin.
“I might,” he said.
“Do you think it’s someone you might be able to go with as their date?” asked Namjoon.
“Oh, trust me. I would die to be this man’s date. He is the most handsome man in the world, after all,” said Jin. Namjoon narrowed his eyes. Jin burst into laughter, slapping his knee and pulling an envelope from the pocket inside his jacket.
“You had an invitation all this time?” asked Taehyung.
“Of course!” said Jin, laughing and slapping his knee. Namjoon shook his head but couldn’t help a fond smile from pulling at his lips.
#bts#bts fanfic#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#Jimmy K#min yoongi#jung hoseok#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jeongguk#namjoon#rm#jin#captain kirk#yoongi#suga#jhope#hobi#jimin#taehyung#v#jungkook#crystalstar#eye of the sky#star trek#heist#heist au
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Today we remember the passing of Joey Ramone who Died: April 15, 2001 in Manhattan, New York
Jeffrey Ross Hyman, known professionally as Joey Ramone, was an American musician, singer, composer, and lead vocalist of the punk rock band the Ramones. Joey Ramone's image, voice, and tenure as frontman of the Ramones made him a countercultural icon.
Jeffrey Ross Hyman was born on May 19, 1951, in Queens, New York City, New York to a Jewish family. His parents were Charlotte (née Mandell) and Noel Hyman. He was born with a parasitic twin growing out of his back, which was incompletely formed and surgically removed. The family resided in Forest Hills, Queens, where Hyman and his future Ramones bandmates attended Forest Hills High School. He grew up with his brother Mickey Leigh. Though happy, Hyman was something of an outcast, diagnosed at 18 with obsessive–compulsive disorder alongside being diagnosed with schizophrenia. His mother, Charlotte Lesher, divorced her first husband, Noel Hyman. She married a second time but was widowed by a car accident while she was on vacation.
Hyman was a fan of the Beatles, the Who, David Bowie, and the Stooges among other bands, particularly oldies and the Phil Spector-produced "girl groups". His idol was Pete Townshend of the Who, with whom he shared a birthday. Hyman took up the drums at 13, and played them throughout his teen years before picking up an acoustic guitar at age 17.
In 1974, Jeffrey Hyman co-founded the punk rock band the Ramones with friends John Cummings and Douglas Colvin. Colvin was already using the pseudonym "Dee Dee Ramone" and the others also adopted stage names using "Ramone" as their surname: Cummings became Johnny Ramone and Hyman became Joey Ramone. The name "Ramone" stems from Paul McCartney: he briefly used the stage name "Paul Ramon" during 1960/1961, when the Beatles, still an unknown five-piece band called the Silver Beetles, did a tour of Scotland and all took up pseudonyms; and again on the 1969 Steve Miller album Brave New World, where he played the drums on one song using that name.
Joey initially served as the group's drummer while Dee Dee Ramone was the original vocalist. However, when Dee Dee's vocal cords proved unable to sustain the demands of consistent live performances, Ramones manager Thomas Erdelyi suggested Joey switch to vocals. Mickey Leigh: "I was shocked when the band came out. Joey was the lead singer and I couldn't believe how good he was. Because he'd been sitting in my house with my acoustic guitar, writing these songs like 'I Don't Care', fucking up my guitar, and suddenly he's this guy on stage who you can't take your eyes off of." After a series of unsuccessful auditions in search of a new drummer, Erdelyi took over on drums, assuming the name Tommy Ramone.
The Ramones were a major influence on the punk rock movement in the United States, though they achieved only minor commercial success. Their only record with enough U.S. sales to be certified gold in Joey's lifetime was the compilation album Ramones Mania. Recognition of the band's importance built over the years, and they are now regularly represented in many assessments of all-time great rock music, such as the Rolling Stone lists of the 50 Greatest Artists of All Time and 25 Greatest Live Albums of All Time, VH1's 100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock, and Mojo's 100 Greatest Albums. In 2002, the Ramones were voted the second greatest rock and roll band ever in Spin, behind the Beatles.
In 1996, after a tour with the Lollapalooza music festival, the band played their final show and then disbanded.
Ramone's signature cracks, hiccups, snarls, crooning, and youthful voice made him one of punk rock's most recognizable voices. Allmusic.com wrote that "Joey Ramone's signature bleat was the voice of punk rock in America." As his vocals matured and deepened through his career, so did the Ramones' songwriting, leaving a notable difference from his initial melodic and callow style—two notable tracks serving as examples are "Somebody Put Something in My Drink" and "Mama's Boy". Dee Dee Ramone was quoted as saying "All the other singers in New York were copying David Johansen (New York Dolls), who was copying Mick Jagger... But Joey was unique, totally unique."
In 1985, Ramone joined Steven Van Zandt's music industry activist group Artists United Against Apartheid, which campaigned against the Sun City resort in South Africa. Ramone and 49 other recording artists – including Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Keith Richards, Lou Reed and Run DMC — collaborated on the song "Sun City", in which they pledged they would never perform at the resort.
In 1994, Ramone appeared on the Helen Love album Love and Glitter, Hot Days and Music, singing the track "Punk Boy". Helen Love returned the favor, singing on Ramone's song "Mr. Punchy".
In October 1996, Ramone headlined the "Rock the Reservation" alternative rock festival in Tuba City, Arizona. 'Joey Ramone & the Resistance' debuted Ramone's interpretation of Louis Armstrong's "Wonderful World' live, as well as Ramone's choice of Ramones classics and some of his other favorite songs; The Dave Clark Five's "Any Way You Want It", The Who's "The Kids are Alright" and The Stooges' "No Fun."
Ramone co-wrote and recorded the song "Meatball Sandwich" with Youth Gone Mad. For a short time before his death, he took the role of manager and producer for the punk rock band the Independents.
His last recording as a vocalist was backup vocals on the CD One Nation Under by the Dine Navajo rock group Blackfire. He appeared on two tracks, "What Do You See" and "Lying to Myself". The 2002 CD won "Best Pop/Rock Album of the Year" at the 2002 Native American Music Awards.
Ramone produced the Ronnie Spector album She Talks to Rainbows in 1999. It was critically acclaimed but was not very commercially successful. The title track was previously on the Ramones' final studio album, ¡Adios Amigos!.
Joey Ramone died at the age of 49 following a seven-year battle with lymphoma at New York-Presbyterian Hospital on April 15, 2001, a month before he would have turned 50. He was reportedly listening to the song "In a Little While" by U2 when he died. In an interview in 2014 for Radio 538, U2 lead singer Bono confirmed that Joey Ramone's family told him that Ramone listened to the song before he died, which Andy Shernoff (The Dictators) also confirmed.
His solo album Don't Worry About Me was released posthumously in 2002, and features the single "What a Wonderful World", a cover of the Louis Armstrong standard. MTV News claimed: "With his trademark rose-colored shades, black leather jacket, shoulder-length hair, ripped jeans and alternately snarling and crooning vocals, Joey was the iconic godfather of punk."
On November 30, 2003, a block of East 2nd Street in New York City was officially renamed Joey Ramone Place. It is the block where Hyman once lived with bandmate Dee Dee Ramone and is near the former site of the music club CBGB, where the Ramones began their career. Hyman's birthday is celebrated annually by rock 'n' roll nightclubs, hosted in New York City by his brother and, until 2007, his mother, Charlotte. Joey Ramone is interred at Hillside Cemetery in Lyndhurst, New Jersey.
The Ramones were named as inductees to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as part of the class of 2002.
Several songs have been written in tribute to Joey Ramone. Tommy, CJ and Marky Ramone and Daniel Rey came together in 2002 to record Jed Davis' Joey Ramone tribute album, The Bowery Electric. Other tributes include "Hello Joe" by Blondie from the album The Curse of Blondie, "Drunken Angel" by Lucinda Williams, "You Can't Kill Joey Ramone" by Sloppy Seconds, Joey by Raimundos, "I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone" by Sleater-Kinney, "Red and White Stripes" by Moler and "Joey" by the Corin Tucker Band, "I Heard Ramona Sing" by Frank Black, Amy Rigby's "Dancin' With Joey Ramone" and "The Miracle (of Joey Ramone)" by U2.
In September 2010, the Associated Press reported that "Joey Ramone Place," a sign at the corner of Bowery and East Second Street, was New York City's most stolen sign. Later, the sign was moved to 20 ft (6.1 m) above ground level. Drummer Marky Ramone thought Joey would appreciate that his sign would be the most stolen, adding "Now you have to be an NBA player to see it."
After several years in development, Ramone's second posthumous album was released on May 22, 2012. Titled ...Ya Know?, it was preceded on Record Store Day by a 7" single re-release of "Blitzkrieg Bop"/"Havana Affair"
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Title: Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson.
Summary: “Louis… These new lyrics are kind of…” Niall tries to find a way to vocalise his thoughts without tearing his friend down. “Well they seem darker than what you normally write.”
“Yeah. This almost sounds like heartbreak.” Harry friend and flips through the lyric sheet he was handed. “Hauntingly beautiful, but definitely not what you usually give us.”
Louis shrugs. “That’s all I have right now. Take it or leave it.”
Written for @wrckmyplans for the @sololouiegiftexchange . It’s super late, but I’ve never been good with deadlines. I really hope you enjoy it!
1949
“I just don’t understand this need you have. Can’t you just be happy settling down and working at an office?”
Louis sighs as he shakes his head. “I crave attention. During the war, I would do comedy routines in the trenches at night and it… Well it helped make things a bit more bearable. And it showed me I could be the next big thing. Imagine, me! The next Abbot or Costello!”
Jay continues to wipe furiously at a sticky spot on her counter. “I don’t know, Lou. The girls are still in school and they need a good strong role model to look up to. Just think about if your father was still here how-“
“Well he’s not. He was a dirty lowlife who walked out of his family. I don’t want to think about what he would do.”
A silence falls over the kitchen.
“Fine,” Jay says quietly. “If you think London is where you have to be to make this work then go to London. Just promise me you’ll keep your name. These show business names are getting too much nowadays.”
——————
“Hi, I’m Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson.” He throws his suitcase onto his bed and holds his hand out for his new roommate to shake.
The boy, Louis assumes he can’t be much older than sixteen, tentatively takes his hand and shakes it. “Is that your real name or stage name?”
“Both,” Louis pulls his arm back with a shrug. “Told me ma I’d keep it the same. She’s not a huge fan of fake names.” He takes a look around the room.
It’s not much. A single roomed flat with enough room for two beds and an even tinier kitchen space. There’s just enough space for a framed picture of his family and his radio, but he guesses it will do. He’s always heard of the actress accommodations in New York City across the ocean, but he never realised London had the same kind of boarding set up for both men and women.
“And you are?”
“Oh, right.” The boy grins sheepishly before pushing his curls away from his eyes and smiling widely. “Harry Styles, at least that’s my stage name. Didn’t think anyone would look twice with a name like Edmond Thatcher so I decided on something simple and elegant sounding.”
Louis nods. “I like it. Easy to remember too. Are you a comedian as well or a more serious actor?”
Harry shakes his head as he sits on his bed. “I’m actually a singer. There are two other blokes down the hall as well who are singers. We do some gigs together when no one is looking for a single, but a quartet is really in right now. We want to be the British equivalent to the greats in America- Sinatra, Martin, Lawford, you know?”
“Sounds like a laugh, mate. I’m not the best singer, but if you all ever need a fourth I’d be happy to accompany you. Figure knowing some friends might be a good place to start in the city.”
——————
1951
“You sure about these lyrics? They seem a bit… Cheeky.”
Louis rolls his eyes and takes the papers from his friend’s hands. “Liam, what did we talk about last week?”
Liam frowns, eyes going soft. “You take care of the lyrics and I do the instrumental. The big band sound though doesn’t really lend itself to these types of lyrics.”
“Oi, that’s the beauty of music, Payno. You can cross genres.” Louis pulls out a cigarette from his jacket pocket and quickly lights it as he continues to look at his work. “Think about it. Bing Crosby, one of the biggest names in music, was doing a spin on Irish folk songs. Mixing and melding genres is innovative.”
“But these lyrics-“
“Are risqué and real and what we should be singing.”
The door to the studio opens to reveal Harry and Niall, the fourth member of their quartet, carrying sandwiches from the local deli. “Honestly, Louis, do you have to smoke without the window open? Some of us need to protect our vocal cords from the damaging effects of smoke.”
Rolling his eyes once more, Louis moves to the other side of the room and opens the window. “Need you both to take a look at these lyric sheets and give an honest opinion. Payno and I were having a discussion about them, but a fresh set of eyes might be helpful.”
Niall picks up the papers and begins to read over the words. “I’m feeling something deep inside, hotter than a jet stream burning up. I got a feeling deep inside, it’s taking, it's taking all I got?”
He frowns and looks at the lyricist. “Are you singing about an orgasm?”
“Thank you,” Liam says exasperatedly. “It’s too risqué for us.”
“Hold on.” Harry has Niall repeat the lyrics again. “I see where you could think he’s singing about an orgasm, but what if he’s singing about his feelings? Maybe he’s in love and it’s just overwhelming? Sounds like he’s being consumed by feelings.”
Louis takes the last drag of his cigarette before stamping it out against the window ledge. “Honestly, it is about an orgasm, but like Harry said it could be about feelings. I’ve personally never been in love so I can’t relate, but I’m sure someone out there can or even one of you three. Come on, lads, we’ve got great content. Why are we scared of a little controversy?”
The room is silent for a moment as they all have a quick think.
Finally, Liam sighs. “Fine. We can move forward with this song, but we cannot continue with your song about an actual erection.”
——————
“And so I told him he could go fuck himself.”
The whole table laughs at the witty banter of Nick Grimshaw. He was one of the most influential men in all of England and being on his good side meant you went far. He was out with his colleagues to enjoy a simple lunch at the Ritz and that was it.
“Excuse me, sir, but we have an act coming in soon and I know how much you despise having live music while you dine. They are set to take the stage in about ten minutes.”
Nick thanks the server and slips him five pounds for the information. “Well, that seems to be my cue to wrap up this impromptu lunch affair. Quite sad though. I was so enjoying catching up with all of you.”
“Maybe,” Aimee interjects, “we could stay then. I know you’re not one for live music, but perhaps just this once would be alright. Consider it a fun impromptu concert just for us.”
There’s murmurs of agreement around the table. It had been a long time since the last entertainment party Grimshaw had thrown and his guests were eager for more glitz and glamour.
“I guess a few songs wouldn’t hurt, would it?”
The restaurant lights dim slightly as a quartet takes the stages.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to Amor Amore.”
A smattering of applause is heard as the swelling of the strings start. The table watches in glee as the four younger men entertain and sing their hearts out for the esteemed guests.
A couple songs turns into a whole set, which quickly turns into a few hours. Grimshaw barely realised that it’s nearly the late afternoon hours until he had been asked if he and his guests were staying for dinner as well. He politely refuses, but demands that one of the quartet comes out to meet him.
“What are you up to, Nicholas?”
“I want to know if they have a record. I’d love to have their music playing at one of my small gatherings.”
——————
December 1955
Louis exhales slowly and watches the smoke curl up into the wintry air. He hates these high class functions. They’re so ostentatious and over done. It’s always the same shitty jazz and same men and women drinking the same old champagne and laughing at the same old jokes. It never meant anything and he wondered how much longer he had to be there until it had been long enough and he could leave. “There you are,” a voice whispers in his ear and there’s a gentle hand on his elbow. It’s Liam, of course it is, and he’s looking at his friend with worry in his eyes. “You can go in like twenty minutes. I know this really isn’t your scene, but being here means the world to Harry, you know?” “That’s why I’m here at all. The whole party and schmoozing scene belongs to Harry and Niall. Sometimes I wonder if you even like it, but then I remember that Sophia is always with you so you have a reason to enjoy it.” The older boy shrugs and downs the last of his champagne as a man up on the stage clears his throat. A hush falls over the partygoers and soon enough the man on stage- Nick Grimshaw- smiles brightly. “Welcome, elite and A-listers. Tonight, I wanted the very best for you all, but I couldn’t very well ask Amor Amore to perform since they’re guests tonight.” A laugh rips through the group of celebrities and important figures. “So, I asked around and I’d like to introduce Zayn Malik to the stage. He’ll be providing the music for tonight. Thank you all for attending tonight. Enjoy the party and happy Christmas everyone.” The guests cheer and holler happily before going back to what they had been doing, ignoring the singer as he took the stage. Louis rolls his eyes and grabs another glass of champagne as the overused jazz sound starts to come from the piano. He can’t see the man, but he assumes he’s like every other wannabe jazz singer- a head of clean cut lines and a smart looking suit wanting to evoke visions of Frank Sinatra from across the pond. “The field was bright with clover, I saw the finish sign. I started as a rover and then victory was mine. I thought the race was over, but they just keep moving the line.” The brunet freezes as the voice pours through the speakers around the room. The voice is breathy and washes over him in gentle waves. He thinks over the name that Nick had mentioned to see if he could place this beautiful voice, but nothing was coming to him. “They cheered at my persistence, but prayed for my decline. The path of least resistance led to Hollywood and Vine. I tried to go the distance, but they just keep moving the line.” He pushes through the women in beautiful little numbers and men in expensive suits to get to the stage. He has to see the man and know what the owner of this voice looks like. He knows he accidentally spills a drink on some woman’s gown, but he doesn’t even have time to apologise as he spots the edgy pompadour sitting atop the performer’s head. “I jumped all of the hurdles to break out of the pack. I started on the outside and then hit the inside track. I left the other fillies back at the starting gate; was ready, on my mark, I got to set to hurry up and wait.” Louis finally pushes through the last of the crowd and finds himself at the foot of the stage. His mind goes blank as he sees the man is his element. He watches as the man tenderly holds the microphone stand and sways to the sound of the jazz music that swells behind him. The man loves his craft, something Louis hasn’t been able to relate to in a long time. The passions and emotion radiating from the man and his voice are enough to send shivers down Louis’ spine.
The attitude was infectious. It made Louis want more for himself. More than just being one of four. He wanted to be appreciated for his lyrics instead of being censored. He wanted that jazzy sound that didn’t quite fit with a melding of four voices.
He wanted to be solo. He wanted to be free of record producers and radio play and measurements of success for a company. He wanted to be successful for himself. He wanted to be more than just a number. He wanted to be a true artist. “So talent and ambition won me a chance to shine. I aced the big audition, but it's rainin' on Cloud Nine. Can't beat the competition 'cause they just keep moving the line. I handled every corner, each bump along the track, and when I saw the ribbon, well, there was no turning back. I won the photo finish, I posed for all the men, but before I got my trophy, well, the race began again.” Louis lets his eyes drag up to the singer’s own and he startles when he notices that they are locked on him. He’s looking straight at him and winks lightly as he continues to sing his song. “So I made friends with rejection, I've straightened up my spine! I'll change each imperfection till it's time to drink the wine! I'd toast to resurrection, but they just keep moving the line! Please give me some direction, ‘cause they just keep moving the line!” The song ends and there’s polite clapping before the chattering continues as if the singer was merely an inconvenience to them. Louis claps loudest of all and reaches a hand up to him. He quirks his head to the side and takes his hand, smiling brightly when Louis shakes it emphatically. He looks at him, trying to read why one fourth of the biggest music in all Britain is interested in his music. “Can I take a request for you, sir?” “Just another song in general so I can watch a wonderful performance. I assume you already have a set planned out, so I won’t bother you with extra songs. When you take your break though, I’d be delighted if you’d join me for a chat.” Louis whispers to the man as he smiles at him and backs away so he can sing again. The singer’s eyes follow him until he’s swallowed up by the crowd and he wonders what just happened.
——————
“Thank you. I’m going to take a small break and be back in thirty minutes. Have fun and happy Christmas everyone.” Zayn says as he ends his seventh song and heads off stage. He’s immediately accosted by the man from before and handed a glass of champagne. “Do you smoke, Mister Malik?” Zayn nods quietly and follows the man outside to the balcony where he lights up a cigarette and hands his one as well. “You have a lovely voice. I thought Nick was just going to hire another wannabe Marilyn, but you’re actually talented.” “Thank you, Mister…?” “Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson,” he sips at his drink and waits for the recognition. Zayn doesn’t disappoint, although he tries to conceal his excitement. “Louis Tomlinson? Like, from Amor Amore? Oh god. You’re one of the most influential men at this party. I’m lucky to have caught your ear then.” He chuckles, eyes crinkling with his smile. “Your lyrics caught my attention. The fact that you look like you actually enjoy what you do is just a bonus. I was wondering… Would you want to accompany me home tonight? I’d love to hear more music from you.” “You mean… You want to work with me?” Zayn frowns and tries to see the downside to working with someone as powerful and influential as him. This could make or break his career. “Of course. Why else would I invite you back to mine?” Louis seems genuinely confused for a moment before he realises just how rude that may have come across. “Oh! Not that I’m saying you might not be a good friend or anything, but I hardly know you. I’m sure that if we work well together a friendship won’t be far behind though.” Zayn’s sigh of relief and happiness must have been evident. “Well, music I can do. The friendship stuff will depend on how well we work together, Mister Tomlinson. I’m more jazz and Elvis inspired and you’re well known for… Well, big band don't exactly mix with my genre at times.” He smiles and the conversation continues as they laugh and get to know each other. Time seems to go by so fast and soon enough, Nick and Liam are joining them on the balcony. “Malik, you’ve been on a break for well over the thirty minutes you promised.” “Louis, we’re leaving if you want to join us.” Louis looks up at the two men and smiles easily enough. “Sorry about keeping your star, Grimshaw. He’s got a great sound and an ear for music. If you hire him for more events, I’d actually enjoy coming to these parties.” He shakes Zayn’s hand once more before he has to hurry back to the stage. “Oh. And, Liam, I’ll be catching a taxi home tonight. I’ll be waiting for Zayn to finish his contracted set.” He heads inside and leaves the two men on the balcony as it begins to snow lightly. “Oh, Nicholas Grimshaw, what have you started.”
——————
Mid-January 1956
Louis smiles politely up at Zayn as he continues to play a melody that only he knows. He brought the other man to the studio a few hours before the lads were set to join him on another writing session. He doesn’t know what the appeal and draw is to Zayn Malik, but all he knows is that he’s drinking it up like milk and honey.
“All I want is to be up on a stage singing songs I can relate to.” Zayn scrunches up his nose. “Instead, I made the round at parties and corporate events and I sing the same thirty songs in rotation. It’s tiring and makes me want to pack it up and go home.”
“So do it then. Stop singing all these songs by others and start singing your own.” Louis looks up at him with a confused expression. It isn’t that hard for Louis.
Zayn leans heavily onto the baby grand piano and smiles softly. “I can’t write songs. I’ve tried. I’m not good at rhythm without a melody and words just aren’t my strong suit. The song I sang at Mister Grimshaw’s party was an original and that alone took me ten years to write.”
Louis perks up. “Let me write for you. I’m sure I can get some great material and have you headlining in no time.”
“Writing for someone else?”
Zayn and Louis both turn to see the other lads standing in the entranceway to the studio room. Zayn has the decency to look like he’s been caught doing something naughty.
Louis just shrugs, not seeing the issue. “Of course. It’ll be great! He’ll be a proper performer in no time.” He straightens up at the piano and starts to play a quick and jaunty melody as he hums along to the music in his head. “It’s simple. Just have to think of an image you want. You want to be the next Elvis? Easy.”
He taps back and forth between two notes as he tries to think of lyrics to put as his opening lines. “If…” he pauses until it hits him. “If you say something is taboo, well, that’s the thing I wanna do. Do it till we’re black and blue, let’s be bad.”
Zayn laughs as he watches Louis start to create a song on the spot. “How do you come up with stuff so quick? Those lines alone would have taken me days! I should introduce you to my friend Taylor. She’s good at this kind of stuff too”
“It’s easy! You just have to think about the message and go from there.” Louis smiles brightly, the praise feeling good. “And I’d love to meet your friend. Would love to bounce songwriting ideas and tips off someone new.”
Liam, Harry, and Niall all look at each other with worry in their eyes. It could only get worse from here.
——————
February 1956
“Has anyone seen Louis?”
Niall shakes his head as he watches Liam pace the radio station lobby. Being invited to spend air time at the BBC with Nick Grimshaw is a privilege that not many artists got, but of course, Louis is nowhere to be found.
“We’ll just say he’s feeling under the weather. Nick won’t mind if there’s three instead of four of us. In fact he’ll probably prefer it.” Harry shrugs. He’s quite upset with Louis, but there’s nothing that can be done about it now.
Niall has a feeling that they haven’t finished with this conversation, but he plasters on a fake smile when Grimshaw rounds the corner.
——————
After the interview, they’re all piling into Liam’s car when the conversation starts back up again. “Let’s just go to his house. He can’t ignore us if we just show up. That would be entirely too rude.”
“Would it? Well, knowing you have an appointment and not showing up is rude as well. Unless you are on your deathbed, you show up. You’ve booked someone else’s time, so don’t waste it.” Liam starts his car and heads towards the absent singer’s home. “If he’s there, then we need to have a serious talk with Louis.”
Niall frowns. “I think it’s nice that Louis found someone to occupy his time. You know he’s never really been one for singing. He wanted to be a comedian and was just helping us out when we got this big. He’s just along for the ride. Maybe Zayn will be good for him.”
“Good for him? Niall,” Liam tightens his grip on the wheel as his anger grows. “He’s throwing away his career- ours as well. He’s only thinking about himself which he can’t do anymore. He has to realise that he can’t take a break or write what he wants. We’re a group- a team.”
“Yes,” Niall decides to cut off the angry tirade before it really starts growing, “but we’re also friends. As his friend you need to realise that he’s never been happy doing this and we’re killing his creative ideas more than letting them flourish. Maybe… Maybe we should give him an out. He seems so much happier writing for Zayn.”
Harry clears his throat. “Or we could stop insisting he choose. He loves writing for Zayn- we know that- but he also loves performing. So we get someone else to write for us or one of us finally steps up and helps out, big deal. Louis deserves to be just as happy as the rest of us.”
Liam sighs as they pull into the wrap around drive out front of the singer’s home. “Can we at least be upset with him for missing the interview this morning?”
“Depends on why he missed it.”
Turning off the engine, Liam grabs his spare key to Louis’ home.
It’s fairly quiet when they enter. The usual record music playing softly in the background and a warm glow coming from the main room is the only hint that Louis is even home. Niall is about to call out when a giggle catches his attention.
And then a woman’s shoe.
��Guys? Do you think we should-“
“Oh, Lou!”
Harry’s face turns bright red. “We should come back at a later time. I don’t think now is really an opportune moment.”
——————
March 1956
“Taylor, I promise.” Louis softly speaks into the telephone. He’s meant to be warming up for the show, but he had called Taylor instead. The girl was staying at his place to take care of his dog while he was away, but he found himself calling every night to check up on her.
“I just want to hear you say it again, Lou. Please? Just one more time- for me.”
He sighs, but can’t help the soft smile on his face as he thinks about her. He can picture her all curled up in his most comfortable chair in the study with Cliff and Bruce at her feet and a heavy book of poetry resting easy on the table where the phone receiver sat. He knows that she’s in those highly fashionable pants that hike up to her navel and a shirt that stops just above so the smallest sliver of skin is visible. Her hair is probably up in a high curled ponytail with a bow tied around it and all he can think about is how much he wants his fingers to be running through her blonde locks. It’s a domestic scene that he never knew he wanted until now.
“I’ll be home tomorrow night. I’ll be home and I’m going to fuck you good and hard until you’re begging me to let you come. It's just how you like it, isn’t it, darling?”
Her giggles are the only reply.
“Tayor, love, I’ve got to go. I’ve got to head to the stage soon.” He bites back those three words on his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
——————
“So what kind of music are you leaving me with?” Grimshaw asks as he takes the record from Louis’ hand.
Louis shrugs, trying to keep it light. “Nothing. It’s a record of a friend of Zayn Malik- the man who sang at your Christmas party. I’ve been writing and recording with her and I thought maybe you’d want to be the one to discover her. Give it a listen, yeah?”
“Well,” Nick pushes his chair back from his desk and quickly crosses the room to his record player. “If you’ve written for her, I’m sure the lyrics will be great. I’ve always wondered why you hadn’t written for other artists before.” He places the record on the turntable and carefully moves the needle to the edge of the vinyl surface.
It takes a moment before the striking piano chords are playing loudly in the room. Suddenly Taylor’s voice joins in.
“We were both young when I first saw you. I close my eyes and the flashback starts: I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air. See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns, see you make your way through the crowd and say, ‘Hello.’ Little did I know...”
The music swells slightly and Louis tries not to smile as he can tell Nick is already hooked. He wrote this song drawing on Taylor and his relationship. He had always wanted to tell a story that wasn’t quite so dirty all the time and finally Taylor’s voice was his own.
“That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles and my daddy said, ‘Stay away from Juliet.’ And I was crying on the staircase begging you, ‘Please don't go.’ And I said, ‘Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting. All there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess. It's a love story. Baby, just say “Yes”.’”
Nick grabs the needle, plunging the room into silence.
“What are you doing?” Louis is bewildered.
“I want it. I don’t need to hear anymore. She’s got a lovely voice and your writing talents are brilliant, we already knew that. I’ll find a segment to play it on. The sentiment is beautiful, just what this country needs. We’ve had the death of our King and hundreds of countrymen die because of the heavy fog at the end of last year, but this whimsical sentiment is perfect.”
Louis smiles brightly. “So you’ll play it?”
“Absolutely!”
——————
“'Cause we were both young when I first saw you.”
Niall turns towards his friend, smiling happily at the two artists. “You wrote that?”
“Don’t sound so surprised, Niall.” Louis laughs as he grabs his cup of tea from the table beside him. “I know all of our music is erections and orgasms hidden with colourful language, but I can write lyrically beautiful pieces when I want.”
“Well I think you’re brilliant, darling.” Taylor smiles brightly and kisses at his cheek.
Harry rolls his eyes. “You’re only saying that because he’s taking you to bed almost every night.”
“Harry!” Liam looks scandalised. “That is not polite conversation. We don’t speak of that type of thing.”
Taylor just laughs harder. “Oh it’s perfectly alright, Liam. He’s quite right- about the bed part. I think he’s brilliant with or without the sex.”
Liam watches in disgust as Louis falls more and more in love with her. He needs to put a stop to this before it goes any further.
——————
They’re at another party when Liam sees his opportunity.
“Taylor,” he says nonchalantly towards the girl on Louis’ arm. “Have you met Simon Cowell? I do believe he’s over there.”
Taylor’s eyes widen as she cranes her next to see the music mogul. “Simon Cowell? He’s only the biggest name in music that isn’t an act. Anyone who’s anyone is contracted by him.”
Liam nods. “Would you like me to introduce you?”
“Would I!” Taylor lights up like a Christmas tree. “You wouldn’t mind, would you, darling?”
“Of course not.” Louis smiles and kisses at her cheek. “In fact, I’m going to use the lavatory. Liam can introduce you while I’m gone.”
Taylor smiles brightly and watches him walk away. Her eyes shift to Liam, the smile turning into something a bit darker as her focus shifts. “Well aren’t you going to introduce me?”
Liam can only smirk. He knew there was a reason Taylor stayed with Louis. Hook, line, and sinker.
——————
August 1956
“Louis… These new lyrics are kind of…” Niall tries to find a way to vocalise his thoughts without tearing his friend down. “Well they seem darker than what you normally write.”
“Yeah. This almost sounds like heartbreak.” Harry friend and flips through the lyric sheet he was handed. “Hauntingly beautiful, but definitely not what you usually give us.”
Louis shrugs. “That’s all I have right now. Take it or leave it.”
“Does this have anything to do with Zayn and Tay-“
“Don’t fucking say their names.” Louis lashes out. “Why would it have anything to do with them? It’s not like they used me to get connections or anything. They didn’t take a journal I had filled with song ideas for- full songs with lyrics and piano chords- and just fucking leave in the middle of the night. It’s not like they suddenly found someone better and left me.”
The studio space is quiet.
“Oh, Louis,” Niall is the first to hurry to his side and pull him into a hug. “I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Louis tries his best to keep his composure, but he catches sight of the song sheets in Harry’s hands and the title hits him hard. Love you, Goodbye almost seemed too sweet compared to the way things actually happened. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
“This!” Louis shouts and flings his arms around to encompass the space. “I don’t want to write anymore! No more writing, no more singing, no more performing! I’m done. I’m going back to Doncaster and… I’ll figure it out there.”
“What! Louis, you can’t just-“
“He can though.” Niall cuts off the line of protest he can already feel brewing in his other friend. “Louis, you need to do what is best for you. If that means washing your hands of the industry, so be it.”
Louis nods. He never wanted to sing anyway.
——————
February 1961
Louis sat in his home staring at photos from a different time. His mother, god rest her soul, had made him keep everything he brought back to Doncaster- even photos that brought back bad memories. He’s busy staring at one of him and Taylor smiling brightly with Zayn off in the background smirking like he knew something they didn’t. In the end, Zayn did know something Louis didn’t; he knew the plan to break Louis’ heart and rob him of any creativity.
He doesn’t know why he pulled this album out. He knew looking over these pictures were going to hurt more than anything. He chalks it up to the wave of nostalgia he felt this morning after hearing Niall’s voice singing to him through the radio.
It was weird, hearing Niall solo for the first time. He kept expecting Liam to join in with his higher harmonies and round out the sound, but there was nothing but Niall’s soft baritone crooning away about love and loss.
Finally something Louis could relate to.
He had felt his hand twitch at the first note from Niall’s mouth. The usual twitch that meant he should be writing. He hadn’t felt it in awhile and figured it had been a knee-jerk reaction. That had been hours ago though and he could still feel the tug in his mind and heart.
He hadn’t written anything in five years? Why would he try again? Was if he was shit at it?
Letting out a long suffering sigh, he grabbed a pencil and some paper. He stared at the photos for inspiration. He could take this pain and make a song. He had done it before. He could do it again.
He just needed the words.
------------
December 1962
Louis stood backstage, nervous and ready to pass out. Tonight at the London Palladium, the biggest variety show in all England was trying to pull off the biggest surprise of the decade.
He looked to his left and smiled as he saw Niall tuning his guitar. He looked to his right and saw Liam doing vocal warm ups. They were all performing individually and then were going to perform a melody of their old songs together. It was going to be a night to remember.
He knew he was on after Niall, but he was still debating on which songs he should do. His backing band was well versed in all his tracks so he could do a last minute change in setlist if he wanted, but he had chosen the four songs for a reason. The lyrics were some of the best he had to offer and he was not going to disappoint.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen, premiering his songs for the first time anywhere Mister Louis Tomlinson.”
Louis blinked a few times before it registered that he had to take the stage. He took one final breath, catching a smile and good luck from Niall, before taking his place on the stage. He thanked the host before turning to his band. “We Made It, yeah?”
He turns back around and looks straight into the camera. It was his time to shine.
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Pancake Day
Summary: Clementine wakes up on Pancake Day to find a surprise visitor at her house <3
Read on A03:
Clementine woke up to the sounds of classical piano music coming from down the hall in the kitchen. She was somewhat confused by the choice. Lee was usually a jazz man, and if A.J. got his hands on the radio first he’d be bopping along to country music in no time. Still, there was no harm in change. In fact, she quite liked it. Sleepily, she emerged from her bedroom, ready to enjoy a Saturday morning with her family. It was good to have a weekend off for once. Time to enjoy their traditional Everett pancake breakfast!
It was to Clementine’s complete surprise when she turned the corner and saw it wasn’t Lee manning the pancake station as always, but Louis. He stood over the pancakes, nervously checking under each one of them again and again. Lee was beside him, giving a guiding hand while A.J. sat at the table gulping down the first round of pancakes. When she entered the room, they all turned to greet her.
“Morning, sweet pea,” Lee said with a warm smile. “Your boyfriend here was just taking his first round at the helm. He’s not doing bad for his first attempt,”
“No pancakes will burn on my watch, sir!” Louis said with a grin. Then he looked at Clementine. “Sorry I didn’t mention I was coming by earlier. Vi and I are trying this thing for the week where only one of us is at the restaurant at a time, y’know, to be prepared to handle things on our own if the other is sick or something. Vi decided to take the first shift, so I figured I’d see if you were free. Your dad graciously opened his home to me as soon as I arrived and offered to teach me the secrets of a master pancake chef. I couldn’t very well say no,”
“No, it’s cool. I’m glad you’re here, Louis. If you’ll just excuse me for a second…” Clementine turned to scurry back to her room to fix her hair and get out of her pajamas.
“Ah ah ah,” Lee scolded, waving a spatula in her direction. “The dress code for Pancake Day is non-negotiable. We all wear PJ’s. I even let Louis borrow some of mine so he’d fit right in,”
Now that she looked closer, she did recognize Louis was wearing Lee’s pajamas. They were a little baggy on him, but fit well enough.
Louis eyed Clementine playfully. “Didn’t know you were such a big fan of Donald Duck,”
“I bought those PJ’s for her!” A.J. piped up his mouth still full of pancakes. “I picked them ‘cause they look just like her when she’s grumpy!”
“A.J.!” Clementine’s eyes narrowed. She could feel her face heating up.
“Swallow first, A.J.,” Lee directed.
“Sorry,” A.J. said, finishing his mouthful of food.
Clementine rolled her eyes. That wasn’t what he should be apologizing for. Suddenly an acrid scent reached her nose. "Is something burning?”
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Louis exclaimed, frantically turning down the burner and flipping over his pancakes. In the process of their conversation he’d forgotten to maintain an eye on them and now one side of each pancake was burnt a solid black. Louis let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slouching in defeat.
Lee patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry, son. I was the same way when I was your age. Couldn’t do anything right when a pretty girl was in the room,”
“Lee!” Clementine exclaimed, rolling her eyes.
It was Louis’ turn to feel his face grow hot. “You know, sir, I would never- I mean, Clem-”
“It’s alright, boy, I’m just joshing you,” Lee said, dismissively waving his hand as he directed Louis to take a seat. “And no more of this ‘sir’ business. If anything, you can call me professor,”
“O-ok then,” Louis answered. His nervousness was still clear. He was always so earnest, even when he tried his best to play it cool.
Clementine smiled as she sat down across from him. She reached over to A.J.’s plate, snagging one of the pancakes and scarfing it down.
“Hey!” A.J. cried out. “No fair! You gotta wait your turn,”
“You should learn to share your food, not hoard it all to yourself when others are waiting to eat,”
“Louis said I could,” A.J. retorted, his arms crossed over his chest.
“I did say that,” Louis admitted.
“Did you make those pancakes? They’re really good,”
“Alas, I was only a humble assistant in the first round. Your father here is the real pancake genius,”
Lee lifted his spatula to acknowledge the compliment, not turning around from the current round of pancakes on the griddle.
Clementine poured herself a glass of orange juice. “So, what did you have in mind for today?”
“Nothing that special. There’s a free concert in Greyson park this afternoon. They’re playing a lot of Tchaikovsky. Thought you might like to go,”
“Sounds great,”
“Louis tells me he’s an aspiring musician,” Lee commented, bringing some fresh pancakes over to the table. Clementine lightly slapped A.J.’s hand when he reached for the entire plate. “Guests first,”
“You can go first if you want, little man,” Louis offered.
Clementine shook her head. “Believe me, if we waited for A.J. to be full before we started eating, we’d be here till evening. Go ahead and grab a few,”
A.J. nodded begrudgingly. “Guests first,”
“OK, then…” Louis grabbed a couple pancakes, leaving the bigger ones for Clementine. “Bon appetit,”
“What’s that mean?” A.J. asked.
“It means ‘good appetite’,” Lee answered, taking a seat at the head of the table with some pancakes of his own. “I must say I’m impressed, Louis. Starting a business at your age and getting a second degree on the side? That’s quite a lot of work,”
“It’s not much really,” Louis replied sheepishly. “My staff are the ones who really keep the restaurant going. And the music degree’s just a passion project for me. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to finish it anytime soon the way things are going,”
“Louis has a bad habit of not accepting praise,” Clementine put in. “He’s an excellent musician. One of these days we’re going to fit a piano into the dining room at the restaurant so he can play for the guests. I’m sure that’ll be a huge draw for Ericson’s Diner,”
“I’ll be first in line to see his performance then,” Lee offered.
“Me too!” A.J. chimed in, bouncing excitedly in his seat.
Louis was beaming, “If you’d all like, you could drop by my apartment sometime and I’ll give you a private concert. You’ll be the first to hear some of my latest stuff,”
“Let’s do it!” A.J. leaped up from his chair.
“Hold on, kiddo,” Clementine warned. “I think he meant later on, not today,”
“Oh,” A.J.’s face fell momentarily, then brightened. “Tomorrow then?”
“I, uh… sure. Tomorrow works,” Louis said, charmed by A.J.’s excitement.
“Tomorrow it is then,” Lee stood to clear his plate, offering to take the others’ as well. “For now though, you two have a date. Go on and get changed; A.J. and I can handle the dishes,”
“Thanks, Lee!” Clementine jumped up, ready to get out of her frumpy pajamas. Louis followed suit, stepping into Lee’s room to get changed.
As they stepped out the front door, they both told Lee and A.J. goodbye before linking hands and making their way over to Louis’ car.
“Your dad’s pretty awesome,” Louis observed cheerfully. “Or… do you not want me to call him your dad? I know he adopted you when you were like fifteen, so…”
“No, he’s my dad. Just my second one,” Clementine took a seat, buckling herself in. “So, if the concert’s in the afternoon, what are we doing now?”
“This may sound crazy, but how about… Chuck E Cheese?”
“I love it,” Clementine grinned.
“A woman after my own heart,” Louis replied with a smile.
“Floor it. I’m gonna kick your ass at skeeball,”
“You’ll hear no argument from me there. Onward then!” With that Louis started the car and they were off, fueled by pancakes and ready for a day of laughter and fun.
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Boarding School Shenanigans Pt. I: Dinner In Bed
Lashton One-Shot
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Soccer practice is almost done. Luke stood up from his spot on the bleachers and decided to head back to their dorms. He always comes to watch soccer practice. It's not because he's into sports or a big fan of this particular sport, but it's because he's watching a specific player in their school's team: Ashton Irwin.
Gorgeous curly, honey-blond hair that falls graciously on his broad shoulders. A muscular body whose arms are just obviously very strong to carry Luke. Hazel-green eyes that can effortlessly hypnotize anyone who would dare stare into them. And of course, that very beautiful dimply smile that can single-handedly light up the whole world.
Luke just smiled to himself as he made his way down from the top of the bleachers. As he reached the bottom, he gave a last glance at Ashton who at the same time turned around and their eyes met. The older boy immediately gave Luke a smile, making him feel warm inside as he returned the gesture and waved the player 'goodbye,' earning an approving nod in response.
Luke made his way back to his dorm room and decided to take a shower and prepare for dinner. They go into an all-boys boarding school and their dinner schedule is always at 6 PM. There's a good 30 minutes before dinner, as he checks the time.
Thinking it might be a good idea to shower now while the athletes aren't there yet, Luke made his way to the showers and took a quick one. When he was done and was on his way back to his room, he met the athletes in the hallway who are on their way to the showers. He threw his gaze down the floor as he walked past them, but then looked up when he felt someone brush their arm against his. His gaze was met with a smirking Ashton who just walked past him and followed his teammates to the showers. Luke smiled to himself as he continued his way to his room.
As he enters his room, his roommate, Michael is already there and changing from his uniform to some joggers and t-shirt. He gave the boy a smile as he put away his stuff into his closet and then sat down on his bed as he towel-dried his blond hair.
"I'm so fucking hungry," Michael expressed.
"Well, it's almost dinner," Luke commented.
"Yeah, and I'm gonna be at the dining hall first so I can be in the line first," Michael said with a big grin.
Luke chuckled.
"Well, are you gonna come with me?"
"I'm not done changing yet, Mike."
"Well then, go ahead and hurry up. I'll wait for you."
"Are you sure? Aren't you in a hurry to be first in line?"
"You won't take forever, right?"
Luke chuckled, "Yeah. Well, just give me 2 minutes."
Michael smiled and sat down on his bed as he waited for Luke to finish up. The blue-eyed boy then quickly finished up changing and just a minute later, he's off with Michael to the dining hall.
There were students around already when they got there. Some were even already eating and didn't bother to wait for the dinner meal to be served. Michael dragged Luke with him to get a tray and then get on the line.
"You're really serious about getting in line first, huh?" Luke asked Michael with a chuckle.
His roommate gave him a wide grin as he nodded his head 'yes.' "Well, I didn't have lunch."
"Who's fault is that?"
"Not mine," Michael said with a shrug and turned away from Luke as he noticed the dinner meal being brought out from the kitchen.
An excited grin appeared on his face and he moved forward to the counter. Luke just watched Michael and waited for his turn as he got himself food. A noise then came from the entrance, making Luke turn his head to check it and saw the soccer players enter the dining hall. But the thing is, Ashton isn't with them and that made Luke wondering.
It was then his turn to get food and he moved forward after glancing at the growing line behind him. He picked buttered chicken and mashed potatoes and got some orange juice for his drinks, then followed Michael to their usual table.
Calum, one of the soccer players, and also Ashton's close friend, sat down with them at the table with his own tray of food. Liam and Louis, also part of the soccer team, joined them as well, filling up all the seats at their table. The three older boys are kind of friends with Luke and Michael as well as they usually sit at the same table at the dining hall or share some classes as some Year 11's and Year 12's share common classes.
"Where's Ashton? I barely saw him not being with you guys," Luke casually asked, trying to hide the fact that he is just too curious about where that certain hazel-eyed boy is during dinner.
"Sleeping," Calum answered. "I came by his room on my way here but he's already sleeping so I just didn't bother waking him up. He must be pretty tired with practice today."
"Yeah, I saw your practice today. It looks pretty intense," Luke commented.
"It is. Coach is pretty much not in the mood today."
"Well, that tells it."
"Yeah," Calum agreed with a chuckle.
They continued eating and shared casual talks. But Luke, the entire time, is pretty much worried that Ashton hasn't eaten dinner. So when they were about to get back to the dorms, he told Michael, "Mike, just go ahead. I'll just get some air and maybe take a walk around campus."
"Okay. Don't stay out too late, though. You'll get in trouble."
Luke smiled, "Yeah. Thanks for the reminder."
Michael chuckled then waved Luke goodbye as he followed Calum and the other back to the dorms.
Luke, on the other hand, made his way to the cafeteria and bought two chicken sandwiches, a banana, and a bottle of water. He then made his way back to his dorm building but took the back entrance and went straight to the fourth floor or the top floor. Year 12's live on the top floor and they have a room each, while the Year 11's stay on the third floor with two students sharing a room each.
As he got to his room destination, he knocked on the door and waited for an answer. There was none so he just decided that maybe he should just get in. He did so and as he entered the room, he was met by the sleeping Ashton, sprawled on his bed with only just his boxers on and a pair of socks on his feet.
Luke sighed and chuckled as he looked at the scene in front of him. He closed the door, made sure to lock it, then put the bag of food on the desk before he went over to Ashton's bed and sat down on the edge. He let his eyes wander over Ashton's sleeping features and he smiled to himself for how peaceful the other boy looks.
He let out a huff then placed a hand on Ashton's shoulder and then gently shook him awake, saying, "Ash...wake up."
Ashton just groaned and turned to his side and buried his face into his pillow. Luke chuckled then shook him again, "Come on now, Ash. You gotta wake up."
"Why?" Ashton mumbled against the pillow. "Let me sleep, Calum."
"It's not Calum, silly. It's me, Luke."
Upon hearing Luke's name, Ashton opened his eyes to then narrow it down as he adjusted to the light in the room. As soon as his vision was clear and he was able to see Luke's face clearly, a smile made its way into his lips and he said, "Luke, hi. What are you doing here?"
"Well, I didn't see you at dinner and Calum told me you fell asleep. So I figured I'll just bring you something to eat," Luke told him as he gestured to the bag of food on the table.
"Wow. That's so sweet. Thank you," Ashton said as he looked at the bag of food before he turned his gaze at Luke and smiled.
"You should eat," Luke said with a smile.
"I should kiss you first," Ashton replied with a playful smirk.
Luke laughed with a shake of his head, but then he leaned down and he and Ashton kissed deeply.
Well, yes. Luke and Ashton are together and they are keeping their relationship as a very deep secret because first, they're in an all-boys Christian boarding school. They can never be sure if they will be accepted by everyone around if they come out and be public of their relationship. Second, well, neither of them really has come out yet. SO nobody knows that they both are not straight. Considering all these current situations, both have agreed that it is not the right time yet for them to be open about either their sexual orientation or their relationship.
They have been together for almost a month now and they managed pretty well to keep their relationship a secret. It's really not that hard because most of the people they know kind of understand that the two of them are kind of friends. They've seen both Luke and Ashton interact sometimes and they acknowledge each other when they cross paths in any part of the campus.
"What did you bring me?" Ashton asked as he sat up on the bed.
"Oh, just two chicken sandwiches because I know one is not enough for you, a banana, and a bottle of water because you Mr. Athlete Boy shouldn't drink too much soda."
Ashton chuckled, "All right, baby. Thanks for this. I truly appreciate you coming here tonight to bring me food."
"No worries. I just didn't like thinking you skipped a meal, especially after seeing your very strenuous practice today."
Ashton got out of bed and went over to his desk to open his food, "Thank you for always watching my game practice too, you know. You didn't have to do that, but you still go there and watch every time."
Luke smiled, "I love watching you at your practice. You look sexy with all that sweat."
Ashton laughed, "So are you saying you prefer me being all sweaty?"
"Well, if I'm just watching you from far away, yes. But if you're with me, I prefer you fresh from the shower."
Ashton laughed again, "I hate you."
"You know," Luke said with a light chuckle, "just finish up your food."
"All right, mum."
"Well, eat up while I clean up around here. This room is chaos. There's dirty underwear lying around. You're disgusting sometimes."
Ashton laughed, "I'm sorry, mum. I just get tired after practice most of the time."
"Whatever. Just eat."
"All right. All right."
Ashton continued eating while Luke cleaned around. The older boy just watched his boyfriend fondly and he enjoyed the warm feeling he gets as he realized how Luke takes care of him. How he feels so lucky to have the beautiful Luke in his life now, and he truly does appreciate his blue-eyed boy for everything that he does for him and everything that he is.
He finished up his food and then stared at Luke who is putting his dirty clothes into the hamper, and then he said, "You know, you don't really have to do all that."
Luke just shrugged and then smiled at him in response.
"Come here," Ashton said as he kept his eyes locked on the younger boy.
Luke smiled and did as told and went to Ashton who is sitting on his chair by his desk. Ashton then pulled Luke to him, making the younger boy straddle him. He kept one arm around his waist as his other hand was placed on the back of Luke's neck. The younger boy then wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders as he let his eyes roam around Ashton's godly features.
Ashton softly smiled up at Luke, making the younger boy feel giddy inside as he smiled back at him. The older one then gently pulled Luke to him and caught his lips in a soft kiss which quickly turned deep and heated. Just a moment later, tongue already met tongue and fingers got tangled into waves and curls.
Luke started to roll his hips and push his crotch against Ashton's, making the older one moan deeply. Ashton then pulled his hand out of Luke's hair and wrapped that arm around the younger boy's ass, holding him up as he stood up from the chair and walked over to his bed with Luke in his arms. Their shared kiss didn't break even once until Ashton laid Luke down on the bed with him following down and laying on top of the blond boy.
"Do you wanna do it?" Ashton whispered against Luke's lips.
Luke nodded his head 'yes,' brushing his lips against his boyfriend's.
"All the way?"
"All the way."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. A hundred percent."
"Okay, baby," Ashton said with a soft smile before he kissed Luke again and pressed his body against the younger one's.
He then pushed his boyfriend's t-shirt up his body and unbuttoned his jeans before pushing it down along with Luke's underwear. Luke went to take his t-shirt completely off when Ashton pulled away from him and sat up on the bed to tug the younger's jeans and underwear completely off of him, leaving him naked on the bed.
Ashton let his eyes roam around his boyfriend's body and his lust just took over him as he also rid himself of his boxers and freed his already hard member. Luke stared up at Ashton as he took hold of his own hard length and slowly stroked himself up and down, half-teasing the older boy.
Well, it isn't the first time that the two of them were intimate. They were able to do sexual things before when they got a private moment together. But this would be the first time that they will be going all the way.
They never had an issue about having sex before. Both are willing to do it as they both are very attracted to each other and they do care for each other. They just never really had the right time. But tonight, they got the time that they needed. Ashton's friends believe that he's already asleep and shouldn't be disturbed. The couple does have the privacy that they need tonight.
Ashton watched Luke stroking himself and he wasn't able to hold back and he hovered over him again with his hands on each side of Luke's head. "Fuck, you're so hot," he muttered before he leaned in again and kissed Luke deeply.
"Do you have the stuff?" Luke asked as he pulled away a bit from the kiss.
"Yeah," Ashton said and he reached for the drawer of his nightstand and pulled out the bottle of Lube and the packet of condom.
They threw each other a smile before Luke pulled Ashton to him, making their lips crash again and they shared another heated kiss. Ashton was quick to let his tongue slip inside Luke's mouth and meet the younger one's for another match of tongue wrestling.
Luke's hand traveled around Ashton's bareback as he pushed his hips up, meeting the older one's. Both released a moan and then Ashton pulled away from the kiss and looked down at Luke as he said, "Luke, baby, are you really sure about this? If you change your mind right now, I'd understand. We're not in a hurry."
Luke smiled up at Ashton as he ran a hand through his boyfriend's hair, "You're so adorably sweet, and yes, Ash, I am sure. I promise. I wanna do this with you."
Ashton grinned down at Luke then gave him a peck on the lips before he moved down and sat in between Luke's legs, grabbing the bottle of lube. He opened the lid, then poured enough amount to his fingers, coating it. He looked down at Luke and said, "I'm going to put in one, okay?"
Luke nodded with a smile. Ashton breathed out then inserted a finger inside Luke's pink hole. The younger one scrunched his face up with the slight pain but eventually moaned out in pleasure as Ashton started moving his finger in and out.
"I'm gonna put it two now," Ashton told Luke as he pulled his finger out then inserted two back in.
Luke groaned in slight pain, making the older boy stop his fingers midway. "Are you okay?" he asked Luke worriedly.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just hurts a little bit. You can go on."
"Are you sure?"
Luke nodded his head 'yes.'
Ashton did so and pushed his fingers all the way in. He gave Luke a bit of time to adjust before he started moving his fingers in and out again and also started scissoring in between to stretch Luke's hole.
"Fuck," Luke muttered as he closed his eyes, feeling the combination of pleasure and pain that Ashton is giving him. He reached down to his own cock and started pumping himself.
Ashton smirked as he watched Luke enjoying what he's doing to him, then he started to curl his fingers inside Luke and hit a certain spot, making the younger boy let out a deep, lustful moan.
"You like that, baby?" Ashton asked Luke as he hit the spot again, making the other boy release another deep moan.
Contented of what he had done to make his boyfriend feel good, Ashton pulled his two fingers out and entered three. Luke groaned out in pain for the sudden stretch the three fingers made on his hole, Ashton stopped his fingers from going all the way in, "I'm sorry. I should've warned you. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I can handle it. Go on."
Ashton did so and as his fingers are all in, he moved them in and out again, making Luke get used to the feeling.
"I need you now, Ash," Luke told Ashton, making the hazel-eyed one stop his hand's movement.
Ashton nodded then pulled out his fingers to then grab the packet of condom and opened it. He rolled the rubber down his own cock and lathered it with lube before he positioned himself against Luke's aching hole.
"Are you okay?" Ashton asked Luke as he rubbed the younger one's thighs in a comforting manner. Luke smiled up at Ashton and nodded his head 'yes.'
Ashton smiled back at his boyfriend before he pushed his cock's tip into Luke hole and pushed in more slowly. The blue-eyed boy closed his eyes in pain of the stretch Ashton's dick made to his hole. The older one pushed in all the way then stayed still as he let Luke get used to the feeling.
"Go on," Luke said with a nod at Ashton, making the older boy nod his head as well and then lean down to kiss Luke deeply as he pulled out to yet immediately push back in.
A deep groan of both pain and pleasure escaped from Luke's lips and he pulled Ashton more into him as a moan then followed out of his lips as Ashton continued to move his dick in and out of his hole.
"Fuck," Luke moaned again, making the older boy groan out in pleasure as a response.
All Luke is feeling now is great pleasure which can be obviously observed from the series of moans escaping his lips. Ashton as well is very much enjoying the feeling of pleasure which is heightened even more with the beautiful sounds of Luke's moans. It was music to his ears.
Ashton then changed the angle a bit and when he pushed in, he directly hit Luke's special spot and the younger boy couldn't help but release a loud moan of pleasure, making Ashton moan as well before he kissed Luke deeply again.
"Faster," Luke pleaded under Ashton and the older boy felt he had no right to deny what his boyfriend asked him. So he made his pace faster and the both of them felt an explosion of greater pleasure from their actions. Luke grabbed a fistful of Ashton's hair and tugged hard on it, making the hazel-eyed one groan in both pleasure and pain.
"I'm close, Ash," Luke whispered against Ashton's lips.
Ashton nodded and thrust his hips harder, pounding into Luke, then reached down and pumped his boyfriend's dick up and down.
"Oh my fucking god!" Luke expressed as he was filled with doubled pleasure, and without any warning, he released onto both their chests with a very deep moan.
"Fuck," Ashton muttered with his lips against Luke's cheeks. He thrust hard into Luke twice before he stiffened and released into the condom while still inside Luke.
He collapsed on top of Luke and they both panted out in exhaustion from what they just did.
"Fuck," Luke breathed out.
"Yeah. Fuck," Ashton said with a chuckle as he buried his face into Luke's neck.
The blue-eyed boy smiled then ran a gentle hand on Ashton's back. Neither of them decided to move yet. Luke still has his other hand tangled in Ashton's hair and so he began massaging his boyfriend's scalp.
Ashton relaxed in his boyfriend's arms and enjoyed the comfort Luke's massage is giving him. He breathed out then pressed a kiss on Luke's skin as he said, "That was amazing, baby."
Luke chuckled, "Yeah, it was perfect. Just like how I imagined it."
---
#lashton#lashton one shot#lashton smut#leatherlashton#lashton feels#ashton irwin#luke hemmings#luke and ashton#ashton and luke
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I get what you mean, but you’re analysing in a way the gp will never do. Harry’s music is more dream-like, he’s striving for that rockstar persona with what may seem different music than the same pop or rock music mainstream artists offer. And I love how Louis writes, but to me they may write about the same themes, but they do not write in the same way. Harry reminds me more of a romantic or decadent poet, Louis is more descriptive
I don’t think I agree that Harry is the only one who’s lyrics sound like poetry. I think like. Sunflower Vol. 6 and She, maybe? I think Golden is a better song with the secret verse he inserts in live performances (i think he says “he is golden/he is broken/and I’m hoping one day he could be open/and I know that you’re scared because I’m so open”). He switches the bridge, but I can never get a clear enough audio to be sure about what he’s saying. I think “Only The Brave” reads more like poetry than Watermelon Sugar, and I think Defenseless has some pretty awesome metaphors.
If Harry is writing romantic-era Bryon-esque poems, then Louis is TS Eliot’s Lovesong. Or maybe one of Siken’s. Actually, that isn’t a bad comparison. It’s got some of that post-modern feel, and the sort of grit that I feel when I re-read Crush. And although Harry and Louis certainly don’t have the same writing style, I would bet a lot of money that they ran some of those lines past each other. They’re a little too close for comfort. I a lot of them in my last answer, but also Golden and Just Like You have some parallels, and Too Young and At The Dining Table (i think that’s the title idk haha).
Sorry, I’m getting lost in the analytical weeds, I do that sometimes. My larger point is, even if these two albums were completely unrelated, even if they did not sound like each other at all, I would still be able to compare the two artist’s promotional team. Because, regardless of what the music sounds like, it’s the management’s job to get the artist in the very best promotional position they can. It is their job to create hype around new songs, find the best spots on TV or radio that play to their strengths (SNL was a brilliant one for Harry - he got to be funny, and didn’t have to answer any questions! Win-win!).
The fact that Louis, rather than relying on his team, seems to be releasing music in spite of his team, is INSANE to me. Like, he could be releasing “Yummy”, and it would still be his team’s job to promote the song and make sure it does well (I’m not a huge Justin Beiber fan, no offense to anyone if they are). Instead, he released “Habit”, which is like, an interesting love song, reminiscent of Ben Platt’s “Bad Habit”, maybe, if only by the title. He’s saying sorry, he’s saying he loves them, he’s saying that he misses them and that he wants to be with them, and he keeps going back to them. There’s no reason not to release that song. Same thing with��“Too Young’” (although this one might be a reflection of the industry as well, so maybe they didn’t like that?). He’s saying that they messed a good thing up, and that he’s glad they’re sitting down to talk about it and fix it. It’s a really mature reflection of a relationship that can be fixed because the parties have grown and realized what’s important. “Defenseless” is brilliant, and the fact that he dropped it before it was ready is a shame. I mean, it is for all of them, of course, but I particularly like that song.
I’m not saying his album isn’t doing well, or that he should be as “successful” or “famous” as Harry Styles is (whatever those words mean to you haha). What I’m saying is that while they might all read more like a Siken Poem than a Tennyson ode, they’re all good songs with good writing and vocals behind them that give a mature exploration of coming back to a relationship that you thought you had lost, and loving them again, working through it. I have no clue why they wouldn’t want to release songs like that properly, rather than having the artist force their label’s hand. I am also saying that he seems to be almost working around his team when it comes to doing his job, rather than his team supporting and promoting him and his songs. That doesn’t say great things about that management team.
#Harry Styles#louis tomlinson#fine line#walls#i really love this conversation#and doing song analysis#if you want to dm me we can chat more#or keep sending me asks#i love this#also lol @ me i started the day talking about twitter fights#and ended the day with song analysis#and tying it to poetry#love love love
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Send a number | Answers
Thanks again for 250 followers!!!
What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?
A penguin. I love them so much.
Favorite thing to wear to sleep?
Sometimes I wear one of those “drug rugs” or baja hoodies. With shorts. And sometimes knee high socks. I HATE pajama pants. So if I’m cold I find alternatives.
What song really gets you going?
Right now, Drinking Alone by Carrie Underwood. But usually Tranz by Gorillaz.
Where do you usually eat your meals?
At my dining table or in the family/living room with my mom.
Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
BRUNCH
Most embarrassing habit?
Sometimes I’ll pick my nose at the most inconvenient times like a child.
Chocolate or fruity candy?
Chocolate
Soft or hard tacos?
When I ate meat regularly, soft, with carne asada.
Worst way to break up a fight?
Throwing a pan at them? Dude I don’t know. Wrestle them to the ground? I feel like either of those are terrible.
Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?
“You’re all probably wondering why I gathered you all here today.”
What color/design are your bedsheets?
Teal. And my comforter is a black/white diamond pattern.
Any hidden talents?
I was a dancer for roughly nine years. So I’m pretty good at that.
Favorite thing to drink out of (mug, glass, etc.)?
My Star Wars Luke Skywalker lightsaber water bottle.
Socks or bare feet around the house?
Bare feet man. Those who wear shoes in the house are weak and will not survive the winter.
Favorite board game?
Clue!
Do you sleep with the fan on or off?
I don’t even own a fan.
Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?
Heat at 67.5 and a sweater. Perfection.
Do you sing in the shower?
Who doesn’t?
Favorite song to belt out at the top of your lungs when you’re alone?
Tranz by Gorillaz. All time favorite song EVER.
Last thing you cried about?
Watching Zack die YET AGAIN in Crisis Core. I don’t think I’ve ever watched that scene WITHOUT crying.
At what age did you first have alcohol?
15ish. Wine.
Relationship status?
Single
What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?
249$ A Guess coat that I absolutely adore.
What do you typically wear to formal events?
A modest dress. Heels. And a Louis Vuitton bag to match.
Favorite memory?
Probably almost getting arrested with my friends back when I was 17. We were at a closed park, after hours, past curfew, and it was like 3 am. We bought 64 tacos from Jack in the Box and pigged out in the venue. Super rad.
Gum or breath mints?
Gum
Favorite shoes?
Probably my Guess sneakers. I don’t wear them often, but I love the design.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My chubbiness. I’m not fat per say. But I’m not skinny either, but I want to look more like a classic, 1950′s pinup model more than anything.
What is the natural state of your hair?
My hair has very soft curls. Naturally, there more like “beach waves”
Have you ever had braces?
YES. WORST YEARS OF MY LIFE
Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?
Ghost hunting. I was illegally trespassing, and the building was real sketchy.
Most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?
I’m just an embarrassment through and through. What haven’t they caught me doing. But I guess writing porn is a close first.
Last time you had an orgasm?
I’m a virgin who has never experienced anything remotely sexual.
Celebrity crush(es)?
Sebastian Stan, Bill Skarsgard, Sam Claflin, Karl Urban, Sebastian Stan
Windows or Mac?
I’ve never owned a Mac, so I’m biased when I say Windows.
How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?
Six, seven? I was still quite young.
Makeup or natural?
MAKEUP
What color do you wear the most?
I wear a lot of neutral colors like gray.
Favorite season?
Winter.
Umbrella or rain coat?
Umbrella.
Have you ever fallen out of a tree?
No
First car you ever owned?
A 2002 Toyota. Super old, and the chip was painting off. My trunk also broke. Oil leak. Y’know, a traditional first car.
What time do you usually go to bed?
Anytime between 11-1 am.
Are you a competitive person?
Yes.
Least favorite color?
Orange.
First pet you’ve ever owned?
A cat :)
Sweet or salty?
Sweet
Favorite pasta dish?
Ravioli
Favorite kind of chips?
Cheetos
Talk about something you’re passionate about.
Writing. I love being able to put my ideas on paper, let my thoughts and emotions run free in a world where I have to act a certain way. I can be anyone while writing!
What are some of your hobbies?
Writing
Drawing
Watching too much television
puzzles
Caffeine? If so, what kind?
I’m a tea gal. But I LOVE coffee. Especially mochas and caramel. With extra pumps of espresso. Hell yeah.
Favorite kind of pizza?
Ranch and Chicken or just plain cheese.
Fast food or sit-down restaurant?
Sit-down
Lots of acquaintances or a handful of close friends?
I love having a large circle, but I choose my best friends wisely. I only have about two or three of those and they’re the one’s I keep close to my heart.
Something that ruins your appetite?
This is a bit more dark, but my dad and I don’t bond outside video games. And he’s the type that believes it’s his way or no way no matter what. So if you get him angry he acts like a two-year-old who just got a toy taken away, and will try to push your buttons until you’re the same way. I saw the signs years ago, but whenever his anger is targeted at me I just don’t want to eat. I write instead.
Favorite labels about you?
As in names? It’s near 1 am while writing this so I might have just gone stupid. But I love it when my friends call me cutie. Or my good friend Charlie calls me Smarties. And he’ll pull out a smartie from his pocket when he does it. I also get called Reid, as in Spencer Reid, a lot.
Are you a religious person?
Yes. I try to be at least. I’m Christian.
Night out with a bunch of friends in public or night in with one friend having deep conversations?
Night out. I spend too much time indoors with one friend as is.
What size shoe do you wear?
9
Favorite thing about yourself?
My confidence, or my keen fashion sense.
Have you ever told someone you loved them first?
No.
Have you ever had sex on the first date?
No.
Heroes or villains?
Villains. (Sephiroth, Bucky Barnes, Loki, etc.)
Favorite fruit?
Pomegranates.
Least favorite fruit?
Bananas. I’ll eat them, but there are a lot better choices honestly.
Favorite vegetable?
Broccoli
Least favorite vegetable?
Brussels sprouts
How many plates can you eat at a buffet?
About a good three. First is salad. Second is fruit. Third is desert.
Favorite dessert?
Ice cream. Bubble gum flavor is my favorite!
Do you play any sports?
Nope.
Age you learned how to swim?
Seven or eight.
Tell a funny story.
Maybe this is just funny to me, but earlier today my cat was trying to lick her coat but she set her front paw on a piece of paper and anytime she bent over to lick herself she slid and she would have to readjust herself. She did this like four times before she decided to move.
What’s one interesting thing about your culture?
As someone who is a part of the Navajo tribe, something neat is the more fat you have on your bones the more people respect you because they believe you have money.
What’s one annoying thing about your culture?
We can’t touch cold-blooded animals. It’s said if you touch the scales of a snake, or even breath in the same air, you’ll get the same skin as them.
What job would you be terrible at?
Accounting. I can’t do math to save my freaking life.
Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?
TV shows.
What’s your favorite compliment to give?
“Cute Outfit!” or “Love the Hair!” You have no idea how many people light up on either of these, male/female/nonbinary. Looking good is a happiness found across all the spectrums.
What’s your favorite compliment to receive?
“Cute hair.” Or “Love your makeup/nails.”
Has your opinion changed on something recently?
I can’t remember. Like I said, it’s close to bedtime where I’m at and boi, it’s hard to concentrate right now.
Do you always order the same thing at a restaurant or order something different each time?
I order the same.
What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?
This sounds awful, but I’ve always wanted to try ecstasy. I have buddies who’ve taken it and say, if you do it right, the first time is pretty bomb.
If you could learn to do anything right now, what would it be?
Singing. I can’t carry a tune.
Favorite physical feature about yourself?
My eyes.
Least favorite physical feature about yourself?
My wide hip/waist ratio. If my waist was thinner I wouldn’t mind as much.
What’s one amazing thing you did that nobody was around to see?
OKAY. I scored a strike on Wii bowling while i was on the toilet one time. Two rooms away and not even looking at a screen. Just using my heart and determination and it was SUPER COOL AND I WISH PEOPLE COULD HAVE SEEN THOSE SKILLS.
If you could change your height, would you?
Yes. Everyone is a good foot taller than me. So I would most definitely want a few more inches.
What’s something you would rate 10/10?
Final Fantasy 7 Remake’s Character concept for Sephiroth. The eyes, the height, the hair. WOW. In love.
Heels or flats?
Heels
What’s something you wish you had more knowledge about?
Politics. I want to get more involved but every time I do I get so confused.
Would you want to be famous?
I wouldn’t mind. But I value my private life.
What’s something you would get arrested for?
Well I already almost got arrested for eating tacos in a closed park at 3 am. So maybe that.
What’s your spirit animal?
A cat.
What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?
The fact that I graduated high school. I was developing anxiety and literally had no idea what the frick was happening with me and no one told me what it was. So I ended up skipping loads of school for that reason.
Are you the type to have an organized mess, or no mess at all?
Organized mess. Or just a mess.
Do you tend to make decisions based on the past, present, or future?
The future.
Are you a planner or a more spontaneous person?
Planner. I hate when things are sprung on me last minute. I have to emotionally prep up before a social event so 5-10 business days are needed.
Thoughts on the oxford comma?
I was taught to use it, but it’s literally so useless? I found myself either not using it or just doing it on instinct. So in one story you could probably find multiple instances where I use it and where I don’t use it, maybe in the same paragraph. I just do whatever fits that moment I guess.
What do you hope never changes?
My squad. I love them to pieces and it would break my heart if at some point they’d want to split.
How would you celebrate your 100th birthday?
Something extremely dangerous like skydiving or zip lining across a canyon.
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by Rhonda Moffit, Moffits-Mad Hatter Adventures March, 2020
With such very busy lives, every so often we love to unwind with a weekend adventure. This recharges our batteries and allows us to find inspiration and appreciation that propels us into the forthcoming work week and beyond. Our most recent weekend adventure took us to Martin’s childhood, as his relatives lived in Hannibal, Missouri, when he was a boy. He, much like Tom Sawyer and creator Mark Twain, ran around this historic Mississippi River town as a youngster having fun and learning life’s early lessons. What many do not realize is the incredible history of this locale….so read on and see what we discovered.
One of the places that I, Rhonda, book for our clients that visit Hannibal that has had great reviews is the Garth Woodside Mansion Bed and Breakfast. We were anxious to check this place out for ourselves.
John Garth and Helen Kercheval were married on October 18, 1860. They had two children, John David and Annie. Sometime after the Civil War broke out, in 1862 or 1863, Garth moved his family to New York City. There he was engaged in banking, brokerage, and manufacturing. They returned to Hannibal in 1871, and Garth started a successful business career. Garth purchased a farm southwest of Hannibal and constructed his Italianate Second Empire summer residence about a mile outside of the hustling city in 1871, which he named “Woodside”. On the farm he raised and bred shorthorn and Jersey cattle.
As a businessman Garth entered many ventures. He was one of the organizers of the Farmers and Merchants Bank and served as its first vice-president. He became president in 1880, a position he held until near his death in 1899. He was also president of the Hannibal Lime Company, president of the Missouri Guarantee Savings and Building Association, and president of the Garth Lumber Company in Delta, Michigan. His wife and daughter funded several memorials to him, including the Garth Memorial Library Building, dedicated in 1902, and a tower and set of bells at the Trinity Episcopal Church.
Son John perished at the age of 21, sadly, while he was undergoing an appendectomy. Family photos adorn the walls of Woodside.
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name of Mark Twain, not only grew up in Hannibal but had multiple visits back to visit friends during his lifetime. One of his childhood friends was in fact John Garth. Samuel Clemens visited Woodside on several occasions, preferring to stay with his friends. He had his own particular favorite bedroom in the house and spent many hours laughing with the family in the downstairs parlor. When he published Life on the Mississippi, Clemens sent the Garths a copy. John Garth replied, “Thanks for the book. Each and every one at Woodside has enjoyed it greatly.” A note from Clemens to his manager requested a copy of Huckleberry Finn to be sent to the Garths upon its release. John Garth died in 1899.
There have only been six owners of the mansion since it was built, and most all of the original furnishings are still used. This brings me to the beds. Oh, the beds! This particular bed is valued at $55,000, being one of the most valuable in the United States. It is said that Mark Twain slept in this bed and the hand carved craftsmanship is beautiful. Other furnishings are original to the house as well, and it is truly like stepping back in time. Because Woodside has changed owners so infrequently, many of the belongings of the Garth family remain. The current innkeepers/owners (very friendly!) allowed us to roam the entire house and grounds and we were able to see everything the house has to offer, which is a lot.
After exploring the mansion and visiting with the llamas (resident livestock), we ventured into downtown Hannibal and decided to eat at the Mark Twain Dinette. Martin regaled me with tales of when he was sent by family to the Dinette to buy and bring home a jug of their homemade root beer. They have made the root beer onsite since going into business over 76 years ago, and it does not disappoint! If you visit, you should try one of their pork tenderloin sandwiches- it is enormous and one of the main dishes that they are known for.
After dinner, Martin walked me around the Mark Twain historic buildings- my own private tour.
It was fantastic. We then journeyed the short drive back to Woodside and enjoyed the rest of the night with complimentary wine, a fireplace, and a large jetted tub that I really wish I could bring home with me.
The next morning, we were provided a yummy breakfast and had some wonderful conversation with other guests. There are cottages at the rear of the property and they provide a beautiful view and private hot tubs on their decks. These are quite popular, and from what I gleaned from conversation with the others many like to return a couple times a year just to rejuvenate.
The next part of our adventure took us to Lover’s Leap. The views from this historic location are remarkable, and it was a beautiful day to behold.
Next, we traversed to Mark Twain Cave.
Made famous in Mark Twain’s writing, this location is the real deal. They offer tours, so of course we were all in. We went 250 feet below ground and saw everything we could see in the miles of tunnels made of limestone. Samuel Clemens even signed the cave wall when he was young- if you look in the center of the following image you can see “Clemens“.
Many, many people have been to the cave over the years- here I am, wandering around trying to get a feel for it- and loving every minute.
There are over 260 passageways, and it is easy to get turned around in the labyrinth. There is also a “marriage rock” within that has a story. There was a woman who discovered one of her ancestors had signed the cave wall and she had her wedding in the cave under the signature as an homage to the relation. Also look carefully in the photos for the signature from 1865. There are so many echoes from the past.
The Mark Twain Cave was discovered in the winter of 1819 when Jack Sims tracked a panther into what appeared to be a small den. He later discovered it was an extensive underground network. Twain included a lot of the cave in his book “Tom Sawyer”, as he found it to be a true source of inspiration as a child. He and friends used to light candles and enter the cave to explore it. The “Discovery” entrance is the original entrance (green sign) that was used, as you can see in the image.
Also notable:
Joseph Nash McDowell – He bought the cave in 1848 and was the owner during Mark Twain’s childhood. He is infamous for putting his recently deceased daughter into a copper cylinder and placing the cylinder in the back of his cave hoping to further his theory of human petrification. When Hannibal residents learned of this act, they begged him to remove her and bury her as was deemed proper.
Here is an image of where both McDowell’s daughter’s corpse was stored and where Jesse James placed his signature in the cave.
Jesse James — After a botched robbery attempt he hid out in Tennessee. In 1879 he decided to head for Independence, MO to assemble a new gang. On his way through, he signed his name in the Mark Twain Cave which is dated September 22, 1879, sixteen days before he robbed a train in Independence with his new crew, and only three years before his death.
The cave was a remarkable adventure and we spent a lot of time exploring it.
Also in Hannibal is the home of the “Unsinkable” Molly Brown. Molly was born in this house just a few blocks away from the home of Mark Twain. Margaret Tobin Brown was an activist and survivor of the Titanic. Born in 1867, she was the daughter of Irish immigrants. In her lifetime, she and her husband rocketed to fame during the Gold Rush. In a lifeboat as the RMS Titanic sank, Molly shared layers of clothing and urged others to survive the disaster. She used her status to inspire others to fight for children’s and worker’s rights for the remainder of her life.
For all of us Disney fans, Hannibal is also a special place. It is the birthplace of voice actor and musician Cliff Edwards, better known as the voice of Pinnochio’s Jiminy Cricket. Edwards was born in Hannibal and left school at the age of 14 to move to St. Louis. He taught himself to play the ukulele, choosing it because he said it was the cheapest instrument in the music shop. He was nicknamed “Ukulele Ike” by a club owner that could never recall his actual name, and it stuck.
Hannibal has so many stories, and there is so much to do and to see. If you visit between April and November you can even take a riverboat cruise on the Mississippi courtesy of the Mark Twain- they even offer dinner cruises. We plan on returning again soon, and before we departed, we returned to the Mark Twain Dinette to grab a root beer for the road. OK, we actually bought a case to take home. What a wonderful getaway!
Hope you enjoy sharing our adventures- be sure to give us a like, a comment, or at least have a drink of this fabulous root beer next time you are in Hannibal for us!
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Images copyright Moffits: Mad Hatter Adventures, 2020
A $55,000 Bed, Mark Twain, Jiminy Cricket, Jesse James, Root Beer and Spelunking- It’s A Weekend Getaway Adventure to Hannibal, Missouri by Rhonda Moffit, Moffits-Mad Hatter Adventures March, 2020 With such very busy lives, every so often we love to unwind with a weekend adventure.
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Hauntings, Messages, and the Mansion — Thoughts on: Message in a Haunted Mansion (MHM)
Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD
Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.
Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.
If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.
These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: MHM, TRN, SAW, non-spoiler quote from CAP, non-spoiler mention of GTH.
The Intro:
Message in a Haunted Mansion is the first “real” Nancy Drew game in that it a) isn’t hard to run on a new computer, unlike the first two, and b) it introduces things that would become staples of the Nancy Drew games: a historical plot/characters foiling and echoing the real life events (or at least giving context to them), a cast of characters who are there for more than just reciting their motives, important phone friends, hauntings both real and fake…the gang’s all here, folks.
We’re finally home.
Along with all of those wonderful things, MHM has a frankly incredible atmosphere that scared me back when I first played alongside my sister and scares me to this day, 18 years later when I play it with my friends.
It’s also the first game that establishes one Perennial Truth in the Nancy Drew world: there are supernatural forces at work, and they are real. Sure, most of the hauntings can be explained away easily — but not all of them can be, and this is reinforced by game after game (most pointedly in TRN and in GTH, but in other haunting games as well).
In the Nancy Drew Universe, ghosts are real. Sometimes people fake their specific ghosts, some use the rumors for their own benefit, and some ghosts “don’t have to be real to haunt to haunt you” — but there are ghosts, and they can haunt you.
MHM is an incredibly solid game, and is widely held as a fandom classic for good reason. Nostalgia might make this game a bit better for a lot of us, but that’s not what makes it good.
If you’re starting the series for the first time — or starting a friend or partner on it for the first time — MHM is the best starting point, bar none. It works on most computers, its sound card doesn’t have issues playing the audio, and it’s not SCKR. It’s the quintessential classic Nancy Drew game — maybe not intuitive, modern, or overly difficult, but it’s the one that all other games are based off of.
The Title:
It’s a very effective title…that unfortunately doesn’t describe the plot at all. The titular “message” is a note warning Nancy to “leave the mansion NOW”, but it doesn’t really affect Nancy, nor is it an important part of the game.
The central piece of the game is actually a poem hanging in Nancy’s room, but “Poem in a Haunted Mansion” just doesn’t have that alliterative appeal, nor does it sound like a very spooky game. Her Interactive wanted to sell this game as the spooky little masterpiece that it is, not evoke visions of Lord Byron plopping down next to Nancy and reading Don Juan aloud.
If I had been naming it back at the Turn of the Century, I probably would have gone with “Terror in a Haunted Mansion”…but the audience for Nancy Drew games was significantly younger back then, and “terror” might have spooked some parents into avoiding it.
Plus, the acronym would have been THM versus MHM, and MHM looks so much better that it’s hard to argue with it. Mythos in a Haunted Mansion? Meandering in a Haunted Mansion? Money in a Haunted Mansion?
Those are horrible, wow. “Message” it is.
I guess if you really stretch, the poem could be a “message’….or the “message” from Valdez…or maybe “gum bo fu”? Lots of messages, one mansion, a few hauntings, here we go.
The Mystery:
Hannah’s friend Rose has sunk her entire life’s savings into an old Victorian mansion in San Francisco and is trying to renovate it into a Bed and Breakfast.
Unfortunately, strange incidents keep happening to delay progress and raise costs, so Hannah sends Nancy down to ostensibly help with renovations, but also to snoop around and figure out what’s going on.
Nancy does a bit of reno work, but mostly spends her time poking around and asking intrusive questions (not to mention sneaking into people’s rooms while they’re elsewhere and invading their privacy), and seeing the various “hauntings” that the house has to offer.
The secondary mystery (we’re now advanced and confident enough to handle two plot threads! Huzzah!) is discovering the secret of the house and its treasure, which requires Nancy to do a bit of historical digging into the original owner of the house, Elizabeth “Lizzie” Applegate, a famed actress, business owner — and the suspected lover of El Diablo, a notorious outlaw who pulled off a heist on Christmas Day of hundreds of gold coins.
As Nancy digs deeper into the mystery of who’s haunting the mansion, she finds out more and more about El Diablo (whose real name is Diego) and Lizzie’s romance and the treasure they hide together, leaving behind the vital clues to the treasure in a poem hanging in the Chinese room in the mansion.
In the end, in a bit of a “twist” for the Nancy Drew games (perhaps even a retroactive twist, since this is only the third game), it’s the B plot that solves the A plot, as Nancy loses total interest in the main mystery to focus on the historical treasure. Finding that treasure exposes the person behind the “accidents”, who has been causing the accidents in order to find the treasure.
Yes, this does confirm that the only person focused on the B&B is, in fact, Rose. Poor Rose.
The Suspects:
Rose Green is the first suspect you meet, as she’s Hannah’s old friend and the one in charge at the Golden Gardenia. She’s poured an obscene amount of money into the old mansion and likes to make comments that make it seem like she’s Super Guilty.
We’re at the stage in Nancy Drew games where subtlety isn’t a right, it’s a privilege.
Rose is one of our two main suspects, and keeps to herself and her spot in the dining room, ensuring that Nancy can never snoop through her stuff. She also has a mile-long to-do list and never does anything on it over the course of the 3+ days that Nancy’s there, so we have that to be skeptical about as well.
Ultimately, Rose isn’t evil — she’s actually the only one not doing anything suspicious — but I have to think that she’s not a very good businesswoman. As a character, Rose is barely 2D, a trait she shares with Louis. It’s no wonder they’re the two most suspicious characters — we’re not given any help in understanding them.
Abby Sideris is Rose’s second-in-command and helped her afford the mansion in the first place. She’s also the one who insists that it’s haunted by ghosts unable to Move On who cause the clattering and sobbing and moaning in the night. It is, of course, Abby who’s causing the more ghostly hauntings, but she insists the mansion is haunted anyway, and she’s simply helping it along.
She’s the only the only character with business sense, knowing that they have to drum up business for this bed and breakfast, not wait for people to come to then. No wonder Rose needed Abby’s money — she obviously comes by it with a heap of common sense.
Her sizing-up of Nancy shows she has talent as a cold reader, as does her distrust of Charlie, who really is being suspicious, albeit for different reasons than she thinks. She’s got the business smarts and the people smarts…wait, what does Rose bring to this partnership?
Speaking of Rose and Partnerships, there’s a fan theory — and it’s got some evidence in canon — that Abby and Rose are romantically involved.
Nancy asks Hannah about Rose and Louis, and Hannah laughs it off, which is a point in favor of this theory — how would Hannah know that Rose isn’t interested in this specific man who just came into Rose’s life? An easy explanation is that Hannah knows Rose isn’t interested in this man because she knows Rose isn’t interested in men.
Abby also invests her whole life into this bed and breakfast, moving out with Rose to California from Illinois at the drop of a hat. It’s a choice that would make sense if she was just as passionate about the bed and breakfast…but none of her dialogue nor her role in the game shows us that passion. Thus, the other thing that would make sense is that she moves with her partner to help support her.
As far as fan theories go, this is a fairly solid one — it’s not contradicted by canon, which is always a plus. It serves to deepen Abby’s character, giving us multiple motivations and heightens the stakes for the bed and breakfast to succeed…but it doesn’t do anything for Rose.
Charlie Murphy is Rose’s (or Abby’s? He says he works for Abby, she says he works for Rose) handyman, helping to fix up the mansion for rock-bottom pay.
He’s also secretly living in the mansion’s basement through a secret door and using the mansion to write his term paper, and thus doesn’t get much done handyman-ing-wise.
There’s a point very early on in the game where he won’t talk to you if you haven’t talked to Louis. Louis can sometimes be difficult to make appear/catch, and is really easy to miss, so this is a frustrating facet for Charlie’s character.
Charlie’s a bit shifty for a character who’s literally doing one (1) thing wrong (slumming it in the basement without asking), but he’s also super rude to Nancy. Nancy doesn’t even deserve it this time, so it’s a bit odd that they chose him to be the “innocent but mean to Nancy” character when Abby the Spiritualist is the logical choice.
He’s also voiced by Scott Carty, the perennial voice of Ned Nickerson, so it’s a bit weird to hear him telling Nancy to piss off when Scott-as-Ned worships the ground she walks on and makes any problem between them his fault.
The variety’s nice, but the variety’s weird as well.
Other than his shifty and sort of mean notes, Charlie has no character. He’s not a bad character, he’s not a good character — he just has no character at all. It’s like the developers had no interest in him other than “fourth suspect to make it an even number and harder to tell who the culprit is”. He’s 3D, but just barely.
Finally, Louis Chandleris a man specializing in antiques and history, who is helping Rose to sort through the hundreds of vintage items left behind in the mansion.
He’s actually mentioned as someone who showed up on the doorstep wanting to help and, well…I know 2000 was a different time, but I knew enough in 2000 to distrust someone like that, and I was a kid. Rose is a grown adult, and has no excuse for accepting this weird man.
Louis is a know-it-all, lying little son of a gun, and is there to run Rose et. al. off the premises so that he can search for the gold in peace and quiet. He, instead, stumbles upon Nancy with the gold coins, and decides to knock her out and steal them, not taking the basic precaution of tying her up or anything.
He’s easily foiled by a chandelier to the face — though, in his defense, I’m pretty sure that would foil anyone.
There isn’t a lot of meat to Louis’ character, but more than the rest of the cast because he has a slightly bigger role in the game. And even though Abby’s the one responsible for most of the spooky noises and the things that go bump in the night, it’s Louis who delivers one of the creepiest moments in the game.
It’s that moment where you’re on the phone asking Emily about gum bo fu, and the door opens for a bit, then shuts again behind you. It’s implied that Louis is checking in to see what you know, and it’s honestly terrifying the first (and second, and third…) time you play the game. It’s a rare moment where you may actually be in for bodily harm, and there’s nothing you can do about it — not even look around for the threat.
So kudos to Louis about that, but the rest of him doesn’t deserve much praise at all. Except maybe his line if you fail to stop him: “So long. Losers!”
How very turn-of-the-century of him. Heh.
The Favorites:
There’s quite a lot to love about MHM, as it’s obvious how much time and effort and heart was put into it to make it a really great game.
Even though there’s not a ton of the historical story, it’s very well done, and gives you just enough characterization of Lizzie and Diego to really care about them and to be…well, charmed by their love for each other. As a story, it feels really earnest, and while it’s not the Ultimate Best Historical Love Story that Her Interactive will ever do in its 30-odd Nancy Drew Games (that honor rests on a future game), it’s good enough to rank in at least the top 5.
Most of the puzzles are fun and engaging, whether it’s discovering hanzi that lines up with the Poem, chipping away old wallpaper to reveal a hidden attic, or solving a puzzle that took Abby and Rose two hour to place two pieces in under five minutes.
My favorite “puzzle” is definitely the hanzi, but figuring out the secret room in the library or the secret room in the basement or the secret attic (the Victorians loved their secret rooms) are definitely up there too.
One of the biggest pluses of MHM is the Haunting part. Abby’s responsible for a lot of them — the odd sounds, the projection of the woman in both the séance and in the mirror outside her room, and the incredibly creepy “I see you~” that can play while you’re in the hallway upstairs.
There are a few that you don’t discover as being her, but that could reasonably be chalked up to Abby’s attempt to market the mansion as haunted: the inflating/deflating cushion (which could be remote-controlled), the shadows at the doors/windows (projections or cardboard cutouts), and even the painting who blinks could theoretically be Abby (though that one’s a little harder to conceptualize).
However, the wooden phoenix/swan/winged creature in the parlor is wooden, and thus can’t move the way it does through human power. There’s also no evidence of Abby ever messing with it — no speakers, no motion sensors, no nothing — which makes it stand out even more.
Above, I mention the fact that in the Nancy Drew Universe, ghosts exist. This isn’t a debatable point; it is fact. The phoenix is just one of the many proofs that the series gives us. What makes Nancy special as a skeptic (which Abby calls her out for) isn’t that she’s a skeptic; it’s that she’s a skeptic in a world where ghosts exist.
As a character who has to be right for the game to end, this is a fascinating trait to have, and I love the relationship it gives Nancy with her world — an almost antagonistic relationship, versus what you expect: a Nancy who “bring[s] order to a scattered world”, to borrow a phrase from CAP.
My other favorite thing is the mansion itself; in quite a few Nancy Drew games, the location itself is almost a character, and MHM is one of the best examples of this. The mansion almost seems like it doesn’t want to divulge its secrets, like it wants to protect Lizzie and Diego, and will only let the worthy discover them and their treasure.
You’ll feel slightly unsettled throughout the whole game, picking one or two “safe spots” (usually your room) that you can run to when things get a bit too creepy, and that’s one of my favorite things as well. This unsettled feeling is independent of Abby’s hauntings, and really reinforces the house as a character unto itself.
The Un-Favorites:
There are a few things that do bug me in this game, though none are really game-breaking.
Once again, the culprit is obvious from the 1/3 point on, even though all of the characters say things that are supposed to incriminate them (Rose honestly says that the mansion might be worth more “burned to the ground”, which is a Bit Yikes and Very Incriminating).
You can write off Abby right away, as she’s obviously causing a lot of the hauntings, but she’s also the secondary investor and isn’t (per her and Rose’s conversation about the fire clause in the insurance claim) the beneficiary of the insurance agreement on the house. Once you know that — and it happens early in the game — she’s off the list.
Charlie’s the other suspect that’s cleared basically right away. It’s set up so that he has absolutely no reason for wanting the mansion destroyed or destitute — it’s providing him money and housing – and Abby mentions that, though she suspects him, it’s due to his straight-up incompetence, rather than any malicious intent.
So you’re left with Rose and Louis almost immediately — a character who never leaves her post, and a character whose stuff you can snoop around in and has a password-locked computer.
Yeah, no prizes for figuring that out.
My least favorite puzzles are the slider puzzles (though that’s true in any game) and honestly the staircase “Diego” puzzle, as it bothers me enough to just pull up the walkthrough rather than trying my hand at it. I wouldn’t say these puzzles are bad puzzles, just that they’re the type that I hate (and that I suck at majorly, which doesn’t help).
The Fix:
MHM isn’t a game where a lot of fixes are needed, honestly. Updated graphics/other QoL improvements, widening the screen, etc. might be nice, but they’re not necessary at all to enjoy the game. The only thing I can think of interface-wise that would be nice is a journal/notepad that you carry around with you, rather than the one in your suitcase that is No Help At All if/when you get stuck.
Emily — a phone friend who Nancy apparently once solved a case for, as per the little booklet that comes with the game — is another spot that could be tightened up. While she gives you info that you desperately need in order to progress, her relationship to Nancy is never mentioned in the game, giving most players no clue who she is or what kind of information she can provide
Charlie is a character who just wasn’t done with any care, honestly. He’s a college student, putting him roughly at Nancy’s own age in a house full of people decades older than both of them, and yet no mention nor reference to this fact is ever made! She’s not the closest to Charlie; she doesn’t speak to him any differently — in short, even though he’s the one she should feel the strongest kinship to in a house of a suspicious antiques dealer, a psychic medium, and, well, Rose, Nancy has nothing unique to her dealings with Charlie.
This is especially egregious as you look at Nancy’s relationships with other suspects her age/who are the youngest in the game as the series goes on; she’s noticeably more playful and warmer towards them, or agrees to help them/let them help her in situations where she’d suspect an older person. Charlie’s somewhere between about 18 and 25 (probably closer to 18 than 25), and not only does Nancy not treat him differently, but Charlie doesn’t seem to notice her age either.
Charlie’s age would have been a great way to tie him to Nancy, to give him an actual character (or at least an actual characteristic), and possibly to give a reason why he’s snappier with Nancy than anyone else — he’s worried this girl his age will see what those who are older overlook, or possibly that she’ll out-do him and Rose will find out that he’s not really a great handyman and has been spending him time researching rather than fixing things.
These fixes aren’t necessary to make a good game, or to make it ‘more playable’ — they’re just “fixes” to make the game a slightly different experience with a stronger focus on characters.
Luckily, as time went on, Nancy Drew characters became deeper and more complex, and so MHM’s characters come across as full of potential and ripe for fandom headcanons, rather than seeming flat like SCK’s or STFD’s characters.
#nancy drew#nancy drew games#clue crew#message in a haunted mansion#MHM#video games#nancy drew meta#my meta
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I am always curious about Too Young. What do you think of the "2 years" line? Most louies would say it's about Eleanor, but the thing that made me believe that it's Harry is the context of the song itself. Why would there be pressure with their relationship? I don't see it as like he can't enjoy his partying when he has a girlfriend when they're partying everytime. Also, why would he sang about a kitchen table and Harry singing dining table or fridge light washes this room white? Sorry for this.
Never apologise for asking things or having an opinion!
Too Young is a beauty of a song, and surprisingly open and honest about the pressure Louis and Harry were put under.
Indeed the entire context says it’s about their relationship.
I think I want to question the attitude of many in this fandom to want to prove or disprove a relationship by the lyrics of one single song. The reason why I don’t think this song is about Eleanor has nothing to do with this song, and only with the fact that, judging from all evidence that we’ve been piecing together over the years, Louis is not in a real relationship with her and she is a beard.
From that combined evidence - it’s much more likely that Louis is with Harry and has been ever since 2010.
The song also explains a few things about their situation. It’s a song about closeting, with Louis going so far as apologising that he caved under the pressure because they were told a love like theirs would never last. That’s pretty massive. And pretty heartbreaking - and it explains in part why he ended up with a beard.
Those lines are so completely incompatible with Eleanor. How did he cave, under which pressure and why would he have been told that a love like his and Eleanors would not have lasted? You can say “he caved under the pressure of fame and broke up with her - but then why would people have told him that his love with Eleanors would not have lasted?” They wouldn’t have needed to. Not in the beginning because he was never forced to distance himself from her and not when it ended cause it was already over. Or would you rather put the pressure he was caving under at the moment when he impregnated Briana? Well, it was pressure he was caving under then, why did they announce it 8 weeks in and add more pressure? And again, why would anyone have said that Elounor’s love would not have lasted at this point?
That sentence, they said a love like ours would never last, is really key - it shows that the relationship of which is spoken was minimized, spoken of as if futile; and a lot of pressure was also put on the writer, to convince him to take distance from a relationship.
Louis has clearly never been pressured to distance himself from a relationship with any woman (nor Harry for that matter). This song IS about closeting it cannot be about anything else.
I can make the most sense out of the “sorry I cut you off” and “it”s been two years since I’ve seen your face” if they are about their public separation.
An alternative interpretation of the entire song which I haven’t seen around but which at some point entered my mind and which could also work is that it’s an apology to his LGBTQ fans, who he also “cut off” (or was cut off from rather, by bullshit and bullshit 2.0) , who have also been hurt by his closeting and whose faces he also hadn’t seen for two years by the time this was written. The sentence about the kitchen table fits a bit less with this interpretation, though not completely impossible. It could also be about both. Song lyrics are not straightforward story telling going from A to B, it’s often symbolic, half true half made up, two thirds deliberately mysteriously unstraightforward.
Finally, the kitchen table/dining table parallel: yes. Maybe. I have to say I always interpreted the fridge light washes this room white as a reference to them staying in the same hotel room while on tour. Hotel rooms have fridges in them, big fridges rather than small minibars in the US I’ve noticed on business trips, with annoying lights that indeed make the room very light. I always interpreted that paragraph about the fridge light and the moon as a reference to the intimate moments where they did get to be together in their shared hotel room on tour, and then would have to go back to pretending not to even be friends publicly.
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Places I went to in New York because of gossip girl
I haven’t seen every location, but I’m getting there. Hopefully next time I go I’ll be able to do more of what I wanted to do. We took subways, and you have to walk really far to get to the right one. I did see a ton of things from gossip girl so here’s the list.
Central Park
There are two main sights to see if you love gossip girl in Central Park. First is of course the besthesda fountain (1st picture). It’s where chuck and Blair got married. Second is the Gapstow bridge which is Blair’s favorite place to feed the ducks.
The met.
I didn’t actually go inside we walked a lot that day, but I still wanted to sit on the steps of the met and I did. Classic Blair Waldorf.
Empire hotel.
Chuck bought the empire in season 3 and kept it till the end of the show. Many scenes were there and it’s near julliard.
Plaza hotel/fountain
The fountain is where serena and Blair did a photo shoot in season one after stealing her mother’s clothes, and the oak room (in the hotel) is where Blair decided to leave Louis and be with chuck before the car crash. There’s a laudree Paris inside where you can buy macarons like Blair Waldorf.
Laudree Paris
I went to the one in the plaza cause I never made it near another one. There are 2 other locations as well, one on Madison Avenue which I’m assuming is the one Blair shops from, and one in soho.
Grand central terminal.
Gossip girl begins with Serena getting of the train at grand central station. Whether your a gossip girl fan or not you can’t miss this. It’s the prettiest and one of the oldest buildings in New York. They have dining in the lower levels you should check out.
Empire State Building.
(There is a filter on this picture) the Empire State Building is where chuck asked Blair to meet him or he’d give away his love for her. Who can’t forget the episode where she almost made it but Dorota went into labor.
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26 * F.N.T. * 26
Impact: Chapter 26
Chapter title song: F.N.T. - Semisonic
HARRY
"Baby, we're gonna be late!" I call, shrugging on my suit jacket.
"Almost ready!" She shouts back.
I sit on the couch knowing that almost ready actually means another ten minutes. My stomach is turning itself inside out as I think about being in a room with my dad and all of those big wig execs for an entire night. Not only is this a cocktail party to announce the fact that he's getting married but it's also a huge opportunity for me to shake hands with board members who will be interviewing me in a month.
I hear my bedroom door open and I stand from the couch, "Are we leaving-"
I'm cut off as my eyes land on her, my voice trailing off into nothing. I don't know where to look first, the bright red dress or the matching heels? Her perfectly curled hair, her bright red lipstick, her accentuated tits?
"Jesus Christ, baby." I breathe, trying to keep myself from drooling.
"Oh, shut up." She laughs, slinging her purse onto her shoulder and tucking her hair behind her ear.
I grab her hand and kiss her knuckles before pulling her into my chest and kissing her cheek. She complains about me messing up her makeup, but I couldn't care less. Every part of me wants to pick her up and carry her right back to my bedroom, forget the corporate executives.
"Are you sure we have to go?" I ask her, grabbing the bottle of wine off the counter, "I'm absolutely fine with staying right here."
"Yeah, I'm sure you are," She smirks, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door, "Let's go Romeo, we're already late."
I laugh as I get in the car beside her and back out of the parking lot. I hope to god that she has a jacket to cover herself up or else I might end up dragging her into a bathroom at some point in the night. We pull up in front of Vance's house and I can't believe the rich ass bullshit I'm staring at. Jess grabs the bottle of wine we brought so we didn't come empty handed and hooks her arm through mine as we walk to the front door.
Eliza opens it with a smile worthy of a toothpaste ad and hugs Jess before showing us inside. The living room is already full of suits, all of them have glasses of champagne in their hands. She looks at me expectantly, nodding towards the crowd.
"Go ahead, be a Styles for a while, I'll be in the kitchen." She smiles, leaning up and pressing a kiss to my cheek.
"Thanks baby."
She follows Eliza into the kitchen and hands her the bottle of wine and I can already hear Eliza raving about how it's one of her favorites. Lex appears out of nowhere with Miles trailing behind him, both of them with alcohol induced smiles on their faces.
"Good to see you, have you got a drink yet, mate?" Lex slurs, giving me a firm pat on the back.
"Not yet." I laugh, and he slings his arm around my shoulder and leads me to the living room before pouring me a glass of prosecco.
"To Eliza and Vance!" He exclaims, toasting his glass against mine.
I nod, hiding the displeasure in my face as I bring the glass to my lips and take a sip. It's far too sweet for my taste but I smile and take another sip anyways.
"And who might this be?" A tall grey-haired man asks, standing from the couch and greeting me.
"Harry Styles," I say, shaking his hand, "Pleasure."
"Oh, you're the Styles boy," He laughs, patting me on the back, "You're up for the editing board."
"Yes sir." I grin, trying my best to make a good impression.
"Well I happen to be on the board young man," He says, "I've heard a lot about you, you've done some fantastic campaigns this past year."
"Thank you," I smile, my eyes darting across the room as I see a flash of red, "But I couldn't do any of it without my amazing editing partner," I lock eyes with her and beckon her over to me. Her eyes grow wide and she picks up her champagne glass and hurries over to me, "This is my amazing girlfriend, Jess Lawson."
She smiles, reaching to shake the man's hand and I can see the tiniest bit of panic in her eyes. She leans back into me and I wrap an arm around her waist to steady her.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Lawson, I believe I heard Lexington talking about a big publishing deal you landed a few weeks ago."
"Yes sir," She breathes shakily, "Me and Harry both did actually."
He looks between us and smiles, laughing as he turns to Lex who has reappeared, his eyes even glossier than the last time I saw him.
"These are good kids Lex," He says, patting Lex on the back, "You've got a good team here."
Lex smiles, eyeing us both and I feel Jess place her hand on my shoulder as she looks up at me. I turn to meet her eyes and she smiles excitedly.
"I know they are," Lex grins, "They're the best I've got."
The rest of the night goes on the same way. I shake hands with countless board members and everyone seems to like me at least a little bit. Soon enough we're toasting to Eliza and Vance and everyone is wishing them the best and piling in their cars to go home. We offer to help Eliza cleanup afterwards and she refuses at first, but Jess won't take no for an answer. She starts putting food away and washing up the dishes despite Eliza's insistence that she's fine.
"What can I do to help, Eliza?" I ask her, looking around.
"You can help Jess with the dishes I suppose, but you should be hanging out with the boys in the living room, they're watching The Giants play Tennessee."
"Dishes sound great," I smile, squeezing past her to the sink, "I've never been much of a fan of football anyways."
I bump my hip against Jess' as I slide in next to her at the sink. She laughs, continuing to wash the large stainless steel pot in her soapy hands. I set my drink down and grab the drying rag.
"You wash, and I'll dry?" I suggest, picking up one of the wet wine glasses and getting to work.
"Sounds good, Styles." She grins, moving onto a large crystal platter.
I finish drying the rest of the glasses and decide to take advantage of Jess being rather concentrated while washing the incredibly fragile crystal goblets. I roll the towel up between my hands and snap it at the back of her thighs, visible in her short red dress. She shrieks instantly, turning around to slap my arm as I start rolling the towel back up again.
"Harry!" She screams, reaching for the towel but I hold it high above my head.
She turns around, grabbing the spray bottle behind her and starts squirting it at me. I hit her with the towel a few more times as she shrieks, drenching my shirt. She finally grabs the towel, trying to yank it from my hands but I use it as leverage instead and spin her around, pulling her into my chest. She meets my eyes, her hair now damp from the spray bottle and sticking to her forehead. She's laughing, her face set into a giddy smile as she leans up on her toes and presses her lips to mine just as she yanks the towel one last time and frees it from my grip. Dammit, distraction at its finest.
"Jess, no!" I shout, jumping backwards as she starts rolling it up and coming towards me.
"You're done for, Styles." She laughs, running forwards and snapping my back with the towel.
I run out of the kitchen and into the dining room where Miles still stands, leaning against the back counter. I keep running from her until I feel her snap the back of my legs again. I turn around, scooping her up in my arms and yanking the towel out of her hand. The element of surprise always wins.
"Remember when you were bragging about your amazing girlfriend to all of those board members?" She smiles cheekily, thinking that will get her out of this one.
"Not gonna work, dollface." I smirk.
JESS
I run up the steps, my boots slipping on the wet concrete. I fold up my umbrella before knocking on the door, my heartbeat quickening as the door swings open and I'm faced with a barely awake Niall.
"Oh, hey Nate, where's Harry." I ask, trying not to sound too let down that Harry didn't answer the door as I follow him into the kitchen.
"Still in bed, he was out late at the office. He's working like a dog trying to get this promotion," He explains, ruffling his hair as he grabs a mug of coffee of the counter, "Bring this to him when you go in there."
I nod my head and take the warm mug from his hands before turning and walking down the small hallway to his bedroom. I slowly push open the door, so I don't wake him and set his mug of coffee on the nightstand. He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping, the usual crease between his eyebrows is nonexistent, the smirk I'm so used to seeing on his face has been replaced with soft pouted lips puffing out quiet snores. I kind of miss waking up next to him every day. Although I stay over quite often, there are a few nights of the week like last night that we're apart and I wake up in my twin bed alone.
I sit on the edge of the bed beside him, kicking off my rainboots and my coat as I slip under the covers and place my arm around his waist. He stirs in his sleep, his eyes just barely fluttering as he readjusts his arm to pull me closer into his side.
"That couldn't possibly be Jessica Lawson in my bed on a Monday morning," He smirks, his voice low and gravelly from sleep, "She wouldn't dare miss her government class."
"It got cancelled, the rain is making sleet and the roads are horrible." I frown, leaning into his shoulder once he turns to lay on his back.
"Well what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Tomorrow is Halloween and we need to get costumes for Sam and Louis's party." I smile cheekily, reminding him about the party for what feels like the thousandth time.
He closes his eyes, sighing, and I can feel his chest rise and fall beneath my head. I crane my neck to look up at him and lift his messy hair off his forehead. He meets my eyes and I can tell that he's about to turn me down again.
"Baby, I already told you I'm not going, I need to be at the office, I have so much to do before this interview, my resume needs work-"
"Harry, it's one night!" I reason with him, sitting up next to him with my back against the headboard, "You can work any other night of the week, I'll even help you if you want. I've been saying I wanted to go to this for ages, everyone's going to be in couple's costumes, we were supposed to be Batman and Cat Woman."
He groans, covering his eyes with his hand and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. He's worrying too much about this promotion, it's all he focuses on anymore, he hasn't acted like himself in days.
"Jess, I'm not going and that's the end of this." He huffs, getting up from the bed.
I stand up from the bed and meet him in the middle, blocking his way to the door, "Harry-"
"No Jess, we're not fighting about this," He says, shaking his head and leaning down to peck my lips, "I don't want to fight over a stupid party."
I understand his reasoning, but I wish I didn't. He still has almost a month before this interview and he's already this stressed about it now. How bad will he be when there's only a week left until the big day? He's on edge all the time, spending countless nights at the office. His eye bags get worse by the day, what was once a little bit of redness is now blue and purple. His eyes are always sunken in, he always looks exhausted.
"So, I won't see you at all tomorrow then?" I speak up, meeting his eyes.
"I'm sorry." He says, tilting my chin up to look at him.
I frown, sinking back down on the bed. I guess I'll have to go costume shopping with Sam tomorrow and I won't be wearing a couple's costume like everyone else there. I try not to look too upset as he sits beside me and presses his lips to my cheek. I shove him away, not wanting him to break me down so easy, but I can feel my walls tumbling as soon as his skin is touching mine.
HARRY
Her phone ringing disturbs the near silence surrounding us. We lay in my sheets, tangled in each other, rid of almost all of our clothes. The rain drizzles outside, a few large droplets smacking the window every couple of minutes. Her skin is warm and soft, easily covered in goosebumps with just a stroke of my hand. Her hair is messy and tangled and damp from the rain, but she just looks so goddamn beautiful either way.
She stands from my bed to grab her phone from her jacket on the floor. My shirt hangs off her body, hugging her thighs as she bends down. Her face lights up when she reads the name flashing on her screen and I try not to feel jealous.
"It's Miles, I'll be right back." She smiles, leaning down to kiss my forehead before exiting the room.
I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling for a few minutes trying to decipher her muffled words as she talks in the bathroom next door. I hear his name a few times and then something about football and then decide to leave it alone. It's probably just about the game today.
I sit up, pulling myself to the edge of the bed and finally letting my feet touch the cold wood floor. I stand up, running a hand through the front of my hair to remove it from my forehead. It's still foreign to me sometimes, rubbing the back of my neck and threading my fingers through the short choppy strands. I pick up my phone off the nightstand to see it loaded with messages from Louis about the party no doubt. I toss it back onto my bed without giving it a second glance.
Suddenly there's a knock on my door, making me jump. I turn around to see Niall leaning against the door frame with his arms folded over his chest.
"Oh, hey-"
"Don't 'oh, hey' me," He huffs, "I'm not lying for you again Harry, I told her you were at the office last night rather than out drinking with Louis and Jason till four in the morning."
"Thank you, I'm sorry Niall, you know I-"
"Listen, it fucks with me too, this time of year," He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "But don't be a dumbass just because it gets rough."
He turns around, pursing his lips and walks out. My stomach is suddenly in my throat, his words echoing in my head. I still hear her talking on the phone and so I walk over to my dresser and open the top drawer, shuffling my hands to the back until they wrap around the fragile pieces of paper. I take them out carefully, examining them in my shaking hands. I read through the titles, priding myself on my accomplishments although I shouldn't considering I won those titles by bashing people's skulls in.
One older scrap of newspaper catches my eye, the one I'm looking for. I read over the date, November 1st, the day after Halloween all those years ago. My stomach is instantly sick, a wave of nausea crashing over me like a tsunami. The paper is thinning now, a few years old, but it remains unbleached from the sun as it stays hidden for every day of the year but one.
Fatal Car Crash in London: One dead, Three Injured
"Harry?" Her voice calls and I hear the bathroom door open.
I shove the newspapers back into my drawer, closing it and turning around as nonchalantly as I can despite the aching in my chest.
"Yeah, dollface?" I ask, turning to her.
"That was Miles, the football game got moved to three so it's over before dark. I was worried he was calling to tell me they canceled it."
"They can't cancel this one, it's the homecoming qualifier," I shrug, walking over to her and glancing at the clock, "I think we better put some clothes on though, it's already two o'clock."
JESS
We show up to the game late due to partly traffic but mostly Harry refusing to drive faster than twenty miles an hour all the way here. It's not even raining anymore but the roads are still icy. He claims he was being a safe driver because of the slush but I know he just didn't want to come.
"Where is he, do you see him?" I ask Harry, hooking my arm through his as we run up the bleachers to Vance and Eliza sitting at the top.
"Um, yeah, right there," He says, pointing to the middle of the field, "Number sixteen."
I stop and squint my eyes, trying to distinguish between him and the thirty other players on the field. He turns around and looks up into the stands, waving right at me and my eyes finally land on him.
"Go Miles!" I shout, waving back and Harry laughs, dragging me the rest of the way up the bleachers.
We sit down next to Eliza and Vance and I'm surprised when Harry doesn't protest against sitting next to his dad. Vance is decked out from head to toe in Easton gear, shouting at the players as they line up and the whistle blows.
I watch as Miles gets the ball and starts backing up, looking for an opening to throw it to. At least it's easy to find him in the game because he's the quarterback.
"Just throw the ball!" Vance shouts, standing from his seat in the bleachers.
Miles finally sets his arm back and snaps it forward, sending the ball into motion and spiraling right towards and open receiver at the other end of the field. As I watch, my very limited football knowledge starts to seep back into me.
I expect Harry to complain more than he does, but he's focused on the game. He watches expertly, keeping his eye on the ball easily and cheering when the other team doesn't make their field goal. Vance is far too into it, shouting at the players from the top of the stands and waving his Easton flag at every chance he gets.
Soon enough they're only a few yards from the end zone and Harry is nearly off his seat as he watches patiently, biting the corner of his lip. Miles gets the ball and runs it, breaking through the other team's defense like it's made of Styrofoam. He gets taken down just as he crosses the line and Harry shoots up, throwing his hands in the air.
"Was his knee down?" He shouts, holding his head in anticipation, "He had that, he was in the end zone." He continues, turning to Vance.
"Was he? Can we get a replay?" Vance asks, turning back to the field.
I can't believe it as I watch them conversing. They both look towards the field as the ref walks to the edge and nods his head. The recap plays on the screens around the field and I watch Miles knee hit the ground just over the touchdown line.
"He did it! Touchdown!" Harry shouts, "Should they go for two?"
"They're behind, but I don't know if they could do it, their kickers good, they've got the one point in the bag." Vance says, both of them standing now, watching the field with their arms crossed over their chests.
The kicker lines up and kicks a field goal, both of them cheering when he does. I can't believe it, watching Harry and his dad standing here bonding over football. I never had any idea that Harry liked football let alone knew anything about it.
"Oh, here we go, rookie." Vance groans, pointing at the kid walking onto the field.
Harry laughs, telling Vance not to be so hard on the kid and they both end up cracking up as the poor kid nearly trips lining up. The refs call a flag on the next play and the play after that and I can sense that Harry and Vance are getting fed up.
"Fucking hell, just let 'em play!" Harry shouts when the whistle blows again and yet another flag is called.
"Here comes the laundry." Vance sighs, waiting for the game to continue.
I look around them and lock eyes with Eliza who looks just as surprised as I am. We both laugh, looking back up at them to see them shouting at the refs as if they can hear a word they're saying.
Harry finally sits down after a while when the game mellows out and we're ahead. I hook my arm through his, thoroughly done with this never-ending football game. He barely glances over at me before returning his attention to the game and cringing as Miles gets sacked.
"Where's the fucking protection?" He shouts, throwing his hands up and nearly knocking me in the forehead.
"Harry, can we go get cotton candy?" I ask, gesturing to the stand at the bottom of the bleachers.
"It's the last two minutes of the game, baby." He exasperates, pointing at the time running out on the scoreboard.
I huff out a sigh and stand up, unhooking my arm from his and walking down the bleachers myself. Eliza runs up to meet me and sighs in relief as she catches up to me at the bottom.
"Thank god, there is too much testosterone in those bleachers." She laughs, following me to the cotton candy stand.
"I just can't believe they're talking," I shrug, "Well, I guess they're talking, more shouting at the field as if the refs can hear them."
"I didn't know Harry likes football." She nods as I pay for my cotton candy and take the bag.
"Neither did I." I laugh, opening the bag and stuffing a piece of the blue sugar into my mouth before heading back up the bleachers.
I sit back down next to him and he's leaning on the absolute edge of his seat, watching the game intently. I bring a piece of cotton candy to his mouth and he eats it, chuckling as he watches the time run out on the game.
"Come on boys, run the clock, you've got this." Vance says nervously, still standing.
The time reaches zero before the other team has a chance to score and Harry jumps up from his seat, shouting. Vance pats him on the back and they both cheer in each other's faces. Harry turns to me and grabs my hands, pulling me up from my seat and raising them in the air.
"We won!" He shouts, leaning forward and pressing his now blue lips against mine.
I can't help but laugh at how happy he is as he takes my hand and tugs me down the bleacher steps to the field where Miles is waiting. He's beyond sweaty, his hair dripping into his eyes as he chugs water out of a Gatorade bottle.
"You did it, boy!" Vance shouts, grabbing him and slinging his arm around his shoulder.
Eliza kisses his cheek and ruffles his sweaty hair and I'm wondering who the man is in front of me as Harry walks over and pats his back.
"Good game, Jennings." He says, and Miles punches him in the arm.
It's crazy seeing them like this. Talking to each other and being friendly and not because I'm making them be that way. I hardly recognize these boys who are messing around with each other, shoving each other around as they follow Vance and Eliza out of the stadium. I can almost see them as brothers, hanging out at family dinners and getting along.
We get to the parking lot and they tell us their car is parked on the other side. We wave goodbye to them and as soon as they're gone and we're walking back towards the mustang I can't hold it in anymore.
"So, since when are you a football fanatic?" I ask, shoving him.
"Ouch," He laughs, shoving me back, "I'm not, Niall always has it on and makes me watch games with him sometimes."
"Yeah okay, I've been watching football since I was four years old and I still don't know what a flag is."
He laughs, throwing his arm over my shoulders as we approach the car. He takes out his keys and unlocks it, opening the door for me and letting me climb inside first. He gets in beside me and starts the car, heading home.
"Have you ever thought of doing that?" I ask him as he pulls out of the parking lot.
"Doing what?"
"Playing football," I suggest, "It's like the same thing as boxing kind of, you get to slam people with your whole body and run-"
"I don't run, Jess."
"I know you run, liar!" I shout, punching him in the arm, "I wore your old track jacket!"
He shakes his head, turning on his blinker to turn into his apartment complex, "No way Jess, it's not my thing."
"But you're an adrenaline junkie and there's nothing exciting about doing office work all day every day, Harry." I huff but he stops the car and gets out without another word.
I groan but I know he's done talking about it, so I shut my mouth to continue his good mood. We walk inside to see Louis and Sam on the couch watching a movie. I collapse on the couch next to Sam and grab some of the blanket from her as she passes me a bowl of popcorn.
"What are we watching?" Harry asks, shoving his way beside me despite there being no room left on this couch.
"Harry, I'm squished!" Sam complains, reaching around me to slap at him.
"Okay, okay," He huffs, lifting me up and setting me on his lap, "There, now there's room."
She smiles, taking her popcorn bowl back and stuffing her mouth with a handful before passing it to Louis. I turn to the TV, leaning against Harry's chest so he can see the screen. I don't recognize the movie and soon I'm dozing off in his arms, his slow breathing putting me to sleep easily.
I wake up with a start to see Sam getting off the couch, laughing as her and Louis turn off the TV. Harry is laughing too, his chest moving beneath me as he chuckles.
"That movie was fucking fantastic." Louis shouts, his laughter continuing as I peel myself off Harry and wobbly stand from the couch.
He stands up behind me just as Sam calls my name, "You coming Jess?"
I nod my head, stepping around the coffee table and forgotten popcorn bowl as I navigate to the front door. She's waiting with her keys in her hand and I'm still half asleep as I follow her out the door. He grabs my hand at the last second, pulling me back through the doorframe.
"Excuse me young lady, where are you going without giving me a kiss goodnight?" He smirks, cupping my cheek and leaning down to press his lips to mine.
I pull away from him and he smiles, taking my hand and kissing my knuckles before I turn back around and follow Sam to the car. I don't break away from his eyes as I walk away, we just keep staring at each other until Sam forcibly shoves me in the car and Louis closes the door in his face.
We drive back home, and I drag myself into my dorm which doesn't even feel like it's mine anymore. I shuffle through my closet for my countless hoodies and shirts I've stolen from his closet. I decide on his track hoodie after talking about it earlier and lay in bed imagining him in a football jersey, the black lines smudged under his eyes and his short curly hair sweaty from playing. If only.
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