#LOL my guy my lady my man my dude

[carmen-berzattos]

#this is a perspective I’ve only seen from people who truly think broadly and sympathetically about life#like he’s literally right I’m sorry and people who aren’t white or cis or straight learn so so SO early that your existence is political#not inherently but because white cishet men have crafted society in a way it’s impossible for it not to be#and ignoring that isn’t going to make you ascend above it god I’m so tired of having to explain that to people#I’m tired of people’s experiences in both places of privilege and place of oppression being used to scapegoat what we all can see#like look at his example!#‘going out for a dance on a Saturday night’ means something different if you’re poor if you’re gay if you’re a racial minority#’walking into a shop’ who owns it how often do you go is it a big box store or a small owned business is it walkable#there’s pOLitiCs in all of that! in ever aspect of your life!#ESPECIALLY if you take your life experiences and turn them into art of any form (via @twentyfour-mp3)

[onepiexe]

i havent done anything manual labor in so long

[teaboot]

If you don't mind me asking how did you know you were trans? Because I've been unsure if I just like people calling me masculine titles is just preference or something else? But I still like being a girl and it makes me feel good but yet I wish I was a dude who you'd pass by on the street. Sorry if this is confusing or worded weirdl

I think the earliest sign was when I was like 12 and cut my hair short.

Not the short hair part, but the part where afterwards, random people would refer to my as my mom's son, and I'd get weirdly upset when she corrected them

And at THE TIME it was like, "come on mom, now they're all embarassed and apologetic and awkward, and it doesn't matter anyways cause we don't know them and they're never gonna see us again"

But then later I got super into comics and junk and wound up reading the Loki one where Lady Loki shows up like and was all like "I'm both" and I was like. THAT'S AN OPTION?

So I figured I was probably genderqueer around about grade 9 or 10 or so and since then It's been a slow realization that, while I'm not sure I FEEL particularly strongly about settling one way or another on the binary, I'm happiest as a Him and a Man whether or not I'm in jeans or heels.

At this point, I feel confident enough in myself that even if I went full June Cleaver skirts and pearls n shit one day it'd still feel more like drag than anything.

Which is hilarious, because like. Tits. You know?

Idk, my awareness of self has always been a slow evolution. I'm just going with the flow, here

I feel like if you prefer certain titles or pronouns that's fine, and you can swap genders if you want, or do none if you want, or be a guy who goes by She or a girl who goes by Him or a They Xey anything, whatever makes YOU happier, cause life is short and we should all just be comfy and happy, you know?

(Which reminds me, got a referral to a surgeon a bit back and I gotta check in on that- thanks for the reminder, lol)

[virq-qgo]

Wolverine x reader

Uh, yeah i know its been like two years LOL. Literately after posting my last fanfic my dog died of cancer. Got like super depressed lmao.. anyways i watched the new movie and i creamed my pants so i had to write the absolute worst fanfic ever. So like this is a warning, its been two years since ive touched my computer and my skills aren't that good anymore.

summary: going to the bar undercover with the man you hate the most had a twisted turn, not expecting to get shot or telling him your feelings.

warnings: cussing, bad writing, random character death, bad writing, not proof read, and this is really long for no reason..

You didn’t quite understand why you were being dragged along with this so called “mission”

It was just one bad dude who robbed a place, so why were you at a damn bar with the person you hate the most. Everyone was aware of this. You two couldn’t be in the same room together without an argument that almost leads to a fight. So why are you here?

So sitting on the bar stool with a glass of water in your hand, a skirt you were wearing too short and a top that left the mind to wonder. What made the whole situation worse was that your worst enemy was sitting next to you, the wolverine aka Logan Howlett.

You knew he was enjoying this by the way he was ordering shot by shot, it was disgustingly attractive the way the man could pour down the hardest liquor down his throat. Rolling your eyes, you focus back on the bartender, watching him make drinks and showing off to the drunken girlfriends or wives. Obviously ignoring the wicked glares he received from their partners sitting next to them.

“Hey, bartender.” you hear Logan call out. “I need something a little harder than this.”

“Nothing for the beautiful lady sitting next to you?” the man behind the counter smirks as he poured a drink for another customer. Totally ignoring Logan's request.

A soft polite smile sits on your face while trying to stuff down the unpleasant feeling you got from the bartender. “Only if it's on the house.”

“For you?” he smiles, “you can have whatever you like.”

Your eyes crinkle from disgust but to the bartender it was from joy. “Oh, you know how to touch a woman's heart.”

You hear Logan scoff while feeling his dark eyes on you. It’s been 10 minutes since you two have been here and you're already getting underneath his skin.

“Something wrong Logan?” you call him out, turning to face him instead of the creep you call bartender.

Logan rolls his eyes as he tosses his head back and downs his shot. “Show a little boob and wear a tiny skirt, and you get anything you want.” 

“Yeah, I would say you should try it. But you don’t have much to show..”

“Is that how you got here, getting passed around the team?”

 “Yup,” you say with a sarcastic smile on your face while pretending to count to the number 8 on your fingers. “Just gotta get into your pants and then I get my reward.”

Logan looks at you with a face of disgust not sure if you were messing with him or not. “Excuse me?”

Just as soon as you open your mouth to make a smartass comment. A sudden yell echoes across the room then the sound of wood breaking. Both you and Logan twist around to see the scene. There you see the “bad guy” you guys were supposed to be after. He had just brutally smashed someone's head into the table, successfully breaking the table in half.

“That a murder.” the words fall from your lips when you see the broken piece of the table

through the poor soul's head.

“Shut the fuck up you fucking clown. That's our guy.” Logan responded in a whisper. But when he didn't hear a snotty response he twisted his head to look at you, only to find your seat empty. Instead he saw you walking towards the scene, causing a deep growl to fall from his lips. Finding himself to chase after you.

Typically, you would leave this stuff for logan. But the guy was instantly on the run. And you didn’t really have a choice but to chase after him. “Hey excuse me!” You yell at the bad guy, instantly frowning as you see the blood cover his hands and shirt.”where do you think you're going, dude? Breaking that table and killing that poor guy? What an asshole!”

The bad guy looked at you, his brows furrowing. His body filled with rage. Who do you think he is and calling him “dude”. If you were here to stop him, then so be it. But you were just a girl, and women are weak. You were easy to dispose of. “Listen lil’ lady. I'll give you a quick death if you leave me alone.”

“I don’t think so, I need you to come with me anyways.”

The man sighs as he hears the words fall from your lips, “How annoying.” he thought.

“Hey, don’t you fucking run off on me like that.” You hear Logan say as he walks up next to you. Making you roll your eyes and turn your head to face him. 

It was so quick to happen you couldn’t even process it, the only thing that processed that very moment was the ear ringing bang that echoed through the air. Then Logan shouting your name. You remember seeing him running away, his face looking angry. It felt like you were standing there for hours, like you were zoning out. Then you remembered him, the guy you were supposed to get. But as soon as you took that first step, that's when you felt it. Burning pain spreads through your body making you want to cry out. Your hand instinctively reaches out to where you feel the pain, not expecting your hand to be bloodied when you pull it back to inspect it. 

You got shot. 

Now you remember why you guys were supposed to basically kidnap this guy, he was a mutant. His abilities were dangerous. The way he fought was with guns and his bullets being made by his blood, it's how he killed people. It was poisonous.

Soft curses leave your lips as you press your hand tight against your wound, but your blood was still pooling out. You felt weak, like you could barely stand and keep your eyes open. You felt as if you were gonna drop dead at any given moment. But you had to help Logan, you two were supposed to do this together. 

The first step you took, you felt your knee give out. Sending your whole body to the ground, but the impact never came. Instead you feel a strong pair of arms lift up your weak body, your eyes see logan. But you refuse to believe it was him. He wouldn’t do this. Why was your body seeing things?

“You idiot! Why did you run off and chase after him like that? You know you don’t have any special abilities to protect you if he attacked you, so why?” He yelled, Logan was truthfully more scared and worried than angry. He was running as fast as he could to the jet to get you medical aid. But he only had so much time to spare before your body was consumed by the poison.

“What happened?” your voice was soft when you asked.

“You were shot in your chest! I can see the huge fucking hole!”

“I can feel it.” Even though you were basically dying, you couldn’t help but make a simple joke. “Y’know, even though you’re a total dick. You have good arm muscles. I like the way they can hold me so tightly. I feel like a princess.” you smile “If it takes getting shot and dying for you to

care, then maybe i should get shot more often.”

Logan frowns as he hears your comment, still rushing to get you to the jet as fast as possible. “You’re so fucking stupid, you’re not dying. If you wanted me to hold you in my arms then all you had to do was ask bub.” 

A weight of relief went off his soldiers once he saw the jet, he was right there. But when he looked at you, he saw that your hand was pressed against his chest and your eyes were on him. Barely opened. “Hey, stay with me.” he comments. “Keep your eyes open, please. We're almost there!”

Your eyes scrunch together as you see his lips move but no words come out, it didn’t help much that you were fading in and out of consciousness. Growing up, you were told not to be afraid of dying because you could die at any given time. Despite all the missions you’ve been on and how many times you were knocking on death's door. You were never afraid. But today was different, why were you so afraid? Maybe it was because you're dying pathetically, or the fact that you're in the arms of a man you’ve fallen in love with.

“I’m sorry.” you tell him, your voice soft and weak. Blood drips from your lips and down your chin. Your hand grabbing his shirt. Everything was going by so fast. In the middle of a deep silence, you look up into Logans eyes, knowing these might be your last moments together. Pain rushes through your body and words fly out of your mouth before your brain can catch up, and you’re saying what you’ve always wanted to say. “I love you.”

He freezes, shocked at your words. He looks down at you, taking in your face, and the pained look on it. You can see his brain racing like a speeding train, and his breath catches in his throat. “You’re an idiot. Why did you wait till this point?”

“I- I thought I would have more time.” was all you managed to say before shutting your eyes.

Finally, Logan runs up the rail of the jet and sets you on the cot. Watching the aids surround you, immediately taking quick action. With the flight there and taking you into emergency surgery. They finally came up to Logan, who fell asleep in the infirmary's waiting room. Telling him that you were okay and would make a good recovery.

Without wasting a single second, Logan rushed to your room. His heart dropped once he saw your frail, weak body. Connecting to different types of wires and IVs. He felt terrible, guilt consumed his body as thoughts raked his mind, he could've prevented all of this, all of your pain. Only if he was faster.

Logan found himself staring at your body, wanting to reach out and take your hand. He pulled up the chair by your bed and sat down, his eyes switching from your resting body to the monitor. Finally mustering the courage to take hold of your hand. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t quick enough, I should’ve been the one. But I was so fucking slow, in my own god damn bloody mind.And  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I love you back, I was just so scared. Scared that if I told you, I would never get to tell you so again. I was so fucking selfish. But holy shit, I'm so in love with you. It hurts so much. But I'll make sure to tell you every single chance I get. I love you.”

“You better get started.” you say with a smile on your face. 

Logan looks at you in a state of shock, not expecting you to be awake. Without holding back, he basically launches himself onto you. Wrapping his arms around your weak figure, wanting to hold you tight but being so gentle with you. “You’re okay” he breathes out of relief, “You’re an idiot, but you’re okay.”

“I love you too by the way.” The smile on your face was wide, you were in so much pain. But you were so happy. Never in your life did you think you would be here, but here you are. In the arms of the man you’ve pretended to hate for so long.

“Oh shut your pretty little mouth.” Was all he said before pressing his soft warm lips against yours. 

If someone had asked you what it was like getting shot, you would probably tell them it hurt really fucking bad and wouldn’t recommend it. But if they asked you on a personal level. You would tell them that you would do it again if it meant that you got to see Logan care for you. But it still hurt like a fucking bitch.

[donatellawritings]

Hiiiii mamacita!! Totally love your writing! Wondering if you’ve seen the trend of girls pranking their bfs by telling them they got waxed by a guy? I’ve already seen loads of fics about it so I was thinking maybe you could do a Rafe one but instead of the wax maybe she could say she got a massage from a dude? And like not even a prank but she went to the spa and actually got massaged by a guy but she thought it was totally innocent so she casually tells Rafe LOL he’d go ballistic

hi baby! omg this is actually so funny

rafe was completely aware about how serious you were about self-care - you loved being pampered and that was partly thanks to the lavish lifestyle that rafe had introduced to you. you got regular blowouts, fresh sets of cutesy acrylic nails, monthly facials, weekly shopping trips on the mainland - you were a spoiled princess through and through. rafe didn’t mind it though, you worked hard in school and never failed to be the devoted trophy girlfriend that he proudly sauntered around the island. so, when you told rafe that you’d be treating yourself and sarah to a spa day, he didn’t even bat an eyelash, only pressing his lips to yours as he slid his debit card into your purse and slapped your ass as you walked out of the front door.

it was a typical spa day for you, you’d bashfully talk about your days with rafe to your nail lady, while she engrossed you with details about her barging clients. the two of you exchanged bubbly laughs as you sipped on your mocktail, wearing nothing but the fluffy white robe that came complimentary with your spa visit. you were so involved with the relaxing environment that came with getting waited on hand and foot, that you didn’t even realize that your regular masseuse had been swapped out for a middle-aged man who had taken over her position.

now dressed in your figure-hugging, white lace-trimmed romper that rode up the plush curve of your ass, you strutted through the front door of tannyhill, chanel bag in-tow as you relished in your fluid and relaxed state. the exposed skin of your legs, thighs, arms, and chest glowed from the luxuriously creamy oils and lotions used on your skin, your face radiant from your facial as you raised your dior sunglasses to sit on top of your hair. “papi, i’m home,” you sang, placing your purse onto the couch, a low sigh leaving your lips as you reached to grab a glass from the top cabinet.

the thin fabric of your romper became wedged between your taut asscheeks as you stood on the tips of your freshly pedicured toes, a shriek coming from your lips as a harsh smack came down on your ass, “coño, raaafe,” you whined, your pained pout quickly subsiding into a smile as your boyfriend chuckles lightly, pushing his hand down against your spine, bending you over the counter.

rafe was shirtless, wearing nothing but his belted slacks and socks as he feigned a few thrusts into your clothed bottom, before leaning over to kiss the back of your head, “how was the spa, mama, y’got everything done?” he questioned, reaching over you to grab your glass, bringing it to the fridge to fill up with water.

with a smile, you nodded as you approached rafe, sliding your arms around his naked waist with a dreamy sigh, “yeah, i got my nails done, we went for a french manicure and pedicure,” you raised one of your hands to rafe’s eyesight, your eyes brightening with excitement as he kissed your knuckles in approval, “i got a facial, my eyebrows and lashes done, i got waxed,” you sang, earning an enticed hum from rafe as his eyebrows raised with peaked interest.

a giggle escaped your puffed lips as rafe’s hand slid down your back, before he gripped your plush ass, jiggling it a bit as he curved his finger into your wet taint, causing you to throw your head back with a dopey smile, “rafe, listen to me,” you whined playfully.

with a nod, your boyfriend motioned for you to continue as he brought the glass of water to his pink lips, “and i got a full body massage, they used this warm oil - ugh, it was amazing,” you mewled, dramatically leaning your forehead against rafe’s bare chest, “the masseuse was really good, i think he was new-” you continued, bringing your swollen lips together as rafe cocked his head to the side, completely unamused by your revelation.

“he? didn’t y’tell me that it was a girl who does your massages?” rafe quizzed, setting his glass in the sink as he pulled away from you, adjusting his signet ring to sit further on his finger, his jaw strained.

internally you slapped yourself - sure, you knew that the masseuse was only there to do his job, but rafe had made it a point that you were to only have a female masseuse, he wasn’t too keen on having some guy running his hands down your oiled body. now nervously toying with the laced hem of your romper, you bit down into your bottom lip.

“yeah, but she’s on leave sooo,” you stepped closer to rafe, batting your wispy lashes up at his cold eyes, sighing in defeat as he remained stoic, “look, i didn’t even know that they hired someone new, papi,” you squeaked, bringing one of your legs to snake around rafe’s waist as you pushed yourself one, wrapping your other leg around him as his hand instinctively held you up by your ass.

rafe rolled his eyes, unimpressed as he carried you, “y’not going there anymore, princess,” he decided, pecking a short kiss to your lips as you opened your mouth to speak, “m’serious, y’know how i feel about it so don’t fuckin’ ask me,” he confirmed, patting your ass as you let out an exaggerated whine against the skin of his neck.

“you’re so strict,” you spoke, your voice muffled and strained as rafe nodded, refusing to fall into your complaints while he craned his neck back, forcing your eyes to meet, “wait- what if i just let you do my massages, but i can keep going to the spa?” you beamed.

searching your eyes for any hidden intentions, rafe shrugged, “i will fuck you up if you get another massage from him, y’understand?” he warned, completely entranced by your doe eyes and plump lips, not missing the way your warm pussy strained against the fabric of your romper.

smacking a noisy and wet kiss to rafe’s lips, you nodded furiously, “i understand,” you hummed sweetly, letting out a soft moan as rafe suddenly let you drop a few inches, before catching your thighs with his large hand, causing your aching pussy to taste the perfect amount of friction against the crotch of your romper.

with lowly hung eyes, rafe swiftly placed you on top of the kitchen counter forcefully spreading your legs to reveal the sticky wet patch that sat right on your pussy. crouching to reach eye level with your wetness, rafe wordlessly pressed his tongue against the damp spot, allowing his spit to dampen the sweetly-tinged fabric of your romper before enclosing his warm mouth around your clothed-pussy in a sloppy kiss. overly sensitive from the brazilian wax, you sucked in a breath as you tried to close your legs around rafe’s face.

“don’t fuckin’ touch me,” he hummed, licking another long and slippery stripe up your covered pussy, sucking on the wet spot as he held your legs spread with a tight grip on both of your knees, “y’so fuckin’ wet, mama - fuck,” he moaned needily, leaning his face in closer to your pussy as you blissfully throw your head back with parted lips.

“fuck, papi, s’so sensitive,” you moaned, exhaling an uneven shudder of a breath as rafe pressed his tongue into your fabric covered hole, maintaining his strict grip on your wobbly knees as he swallowed your pussy in an open mouthed kiss. your eyes rolled back as your lashes fluttered closed, your tummy tightening with each drooling lick the rafe pressed to you, your freshly painted nails scratching against the smooth countertop, eager for any kind of sensation to ease the race of your incoming orgasm.

rafe's piercing eyes closed with bliss as he pulled your knees to rest over his shoulders, carefully carrying you to lay on the floor, his slick and hot tongue continuing to lap at you, a short laugh vibrating against your clothed clit at the sound of you yelping as your back hit the polished hardwood floor. with your legs now thrown over his broad shoulders, it was easy for rafe to dig his face deeper into you. softly sucking on your clit through the fabric of your glove-like romper, rafe opened his eyes, the sight of your perked nipples straining against the flimsy clothing egging him on just right.

"y'gonna cum all over yourself, mama?" he mocked, hastily spitting on your the area right above your throbbing clit, greedily watching as his spit dripped down between your puffy pussy, "shit," he groaned, returning his head between your legs as you let out a hoarse cry.

with a few more generous licks, your warm cum creamed through the fabric that clung to your pussy, leaving rafe in a cum drunk state as he sucked every drop possible, through your clothing. your eyes slowly opened, your pupils blown as your gaze met rafe's as he licked you selfishly, eager to drink you whole. your chest huffed in and out, your vision grainy as rafe finally pulled his handsome face from between your legs, his nose, lips, and chin shining from your cum and his spit. your plump lips parted as you took in rafe's messy state, before they expanded into a dazed smile.

grabbing rafe's face, you pulled him into a searing kiss, shamelessly sucking on his tongue, eager to taste yourself before pulling away with a 'pop'. the two of you lazily smiled at each other, both too fucked out without actually fucking to speak.

[harunayuuka2060]

Ruggie: Hm? Where are you going, Leona?

Leona: I'm gonna welcome Akihiko. He said that he was waiting at the gate.

Ruggie: Eh?

Ruggie: Are ya' not gonna tell Yuurin first?

Leona: She's in the middle of class. I'll just lead her brother to her classroom.

Ruggie: Oh, okay.

Ruggie: ...

Ruggie: By the way, what are you going to do with that nerf gun?

Leona: Leal.

Ruggie: Lol. Poor dude.

Vil: What? Leona has a girlfriend?

Epel: Yeah!

Vil: ...

Vil: That's impossible. Do you think someone like "Leona" can woo a woman?

Rook: I see no reason why not, Roi du Poison. If Roi des Lions can charm a man, I don't see why it wouldn't be possible with a woman.

Vil and Epel: ...

Vil: What the hell, Rook. Anyway, Epel, why did you think that Leona has a girlfriend?

Epel: Well, I saw him accompanying this lady and they seem very close.

Vil: ...

Vil: Didn't it come to you that they might just be friends?

Epel: ...

Epel: Right.

Vil: *sigh*

Akihiko: *walking gracefully as Leona and Leal accompany him*

Leona: *noticed the other students staring*

Leona: Why these kids gawking?

Leal: It might be because of Master Akihiko's beauty.

Leona: ...

Leona: How come you didn't dress as a guy?

Akihiko: Finding men's clothes that suited me was challenging.

Leal: ...

Leona: ...

Akihiko: Oh! Is this the class Yuurin is in?

Leona: Yeah. *knocks on the door*

Professor Trein: *opens it* Hm? Kingscholar?

Leona: 'Sup, Trein.

Professor Trein: *looks at Akihiko and Leal*

Professor Trein: Who are these people?

Leona: Ah, this one is Aki- I mean, Akane, Yuurin's older sister.

Leona: And this guy right here is Leal, their servant.

Leal: ...

Professor Trein: Oh. It's nice to meet you. I'm Mozus Trein. A history professor here at Night Raven College.

Akihiko: It's nice to meet you, Professor Trein. I've heard from Yuurin that you are one of his favorite professors.

Professor Trein: *chuckles* You flatter me.

Leona: Is Yuurin in your class?

Professor Trein: Yes. The students are having an exam. But I don't mind if the three of you watch.

Akihiko: *smiles* That would be lovely. Thank you, Professor Trein.

Yuurin: *hasn't noticed Akihiko, Leona, and Leal yet since she's too focused on answering the exam and making sure that every answer is correct*

Professor Trein: Your brother is quite studious.

Akihiko: *nods in agreement*

Ace: *yawns* *then happens to look at the front* Huh?

Ace: *starts tapping on Deuce's shoulder*

Deuce: What?

Ace: *whisper-yelled* A girl!

Deuce: Huh? *then looks at where he's pointing*

Deuce: ...

Akihiko: *wearing an elegant floral, long-sleeve dress with a surplice neckline*

Akihiko: *smiles and waves at them*

Ace and Deuce: *blushes in embarrassment and returns to answering their test papers*

Leona: Tch.

Yuurin: *finished up checking her answers and looked up to ask Professor Trein, then spotted Akihiko*

Yuurin: ...

Akihiko: *mouths* 'Are you done?' *smiles*

Yuurin: *nods* *then looks sternly at Leal*

Leal: *immediately lowers his head*

Leona: Wow. Good luck to you, Leal.

Leal: *mumbles* Master Akihiko, can I just wait for you outside the campus?

Akihiko: ...

Akihiko: Yes, it's fine.

Yuurin: Where is your husband?

Leona: He fled after you glared at him.

Yuurin: ...

Akihiko: *chuckles* That was Leal.

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: Did you marry him because he was nice?

Akihiko: You could say that.

Leona: Heh.

Ace and Deuce: Yuurin! *is running towards them*

Ace: Is she your older sister?!

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: Yes.

Akihiko: Pleased to meet you. My name is Akane. Yuurin's older sister.

Ace: Wha~! You're beautiful! No wonder Yuurin's so handsome!

Leona: *glares at Ace*

Ace: ...

Deuce: Nice to meet you, Sis Akane! My name's Deuce Spade! I'm one of Yuurin's closest friends!

Ace: A-And I'm Ace Trappola! Your future brother-in-law!

Leona: Huh?

Ace: Yikes! I'm just joking, senpai!

Idia: Eh? Yuurin's older brother?

Ortho: Hm!

Idia: ...

Idia: Is he together with Yuurin now?

Ortho: It seems they went to Savanaclaw. Why don't we go there to greet him, brother?

Idia: ...

Idia: I'll just send Yuurin a dm.

Ortho: No! You should greet them personally!

Idia: Leona is there! What do you want me to do?!

Akihiko: Yuurin~ Bluebell~?

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: *sigh* *switches to her feminine voice* What is it, Aki?

Akihiko: *claps happily*

Akihiko: Your feminine voice is adorable, bluebell!

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: It's not as adorable as your feminine voice.

Akihiko: Don't worry about it. I'm sure it will improve more in the next couple of years.

Leona: Aki's right. Anyway, we should go shopping.

Yuurin: Shopping?

Akihiko: Yes. I want to go shopping with you, bluebell.

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: Alright. *just wants to spend time with her brother*

Leona: Oh, is Leal going to tag along?

Yuurin: ...

Akihiko: I think it's best if we leave him. *smiles*

[wonryllis]

〽︎ RANDOMLY GIVING THEM A ROSE ON THE STREET.

꒰˵ˊᯅˋ˵꒱ 𝒏. enhypen mesmerized by a stranger fluff 784wc LIB?

𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴 bambi would be just waiting for the others near a crossroad, looking around mindlessly when you come up and hand him a single rose without a word. he looks at you for a few seconds eyes switching from the rose to your face so unsure of what to do until you just shove it in his hand rush away. man would probably try to go after you, like you gave him a rose and now that he thinks about it he feels kinda giddy and he wants to know your name but it's too late he loses you in the crowd. hovers around the same street for days hoping to see you again.

𝗷𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴 probably sitting in some corner searching up a few things on his phone when you approach him suddenly, waving a lone rose in his face. takes it without a complain cause this guy like the gentleman he is thinks you're asking him to hold it for you? but then you leave and he panics like eh? what was that? he's walks up after you and finds you handing out more roses like that to other people and man he feels a little jealous he wasn't the only one getting it but at the same time he sorta falls for you like how sweet and kind of you to hand out flowers to strangers.

𝗷𝗮𝗲𝘆𝘂𝗻 he's with the others lounging at an outdoor cafe when you walk up to the group extending a rose right under his nose, he's gets so red and embarrassed like oh my god someone's proposing to me in public? clears his throat, smiling sheepishly as he accepts it expecting you to say something you're good looking or would you like to go out on a date with me. but humbled real quick when you leave wordlessly though not without a smile. and that smile alone has jake thinking about you for days, wanting to see you again. revisits the cafe again and again for you.

𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗻 startled like anything but keeps his cool as he turns around to face you after you tap on his shoulder. his brows rise in a question, has this scary expression of what do you want but honestly dude is shit nervous to have a pretty girl approach him even more so when you randomly give him a rose, "a flower for you, have a good day," and he's gone he can't look you in the face he's so flustered. legit runs after you to ask for you name. grabbing your wrist softly to stop you but he's so shy instead of asking he ends up just thanking you in an awkward loser smile ><

𝘀𝘂𝗻𝘄𝗼𝗼 like the warm and friendly extrovert he is, he would smile kindly and go oh that's for me? thank you so much! you're so sweet! this man would be so thrilled to get a rose from you and he wouldn't hesitate to let you know just how much you made his day. will outright take the chance to flirt and get to know you under a minute. so sad when you leave but he's sure he'll find you again lol. and boy does he find you again two days later at some shop, hesitates a bit first but then gathers courage and approaches you,"would you like some flowers, pretty lady?" okayyyy

𝗷𝘂𝗻𝗴𝘄𝗼𝗻 this poor guy is so clumsy he bumps into you accidentally when you approach him with the rose making you drop the entire bunch you had in your other hand. immediately bends down to help you gather them, literally does not let you touch one at all and after he's got them all, hands it over like a bouquet. you giggle at how the tables turn and jungwon is so nervous his heart is racing on hot wheels. i helped a pretty girl, i handed flowers to a pretty girl, the pretty girl gave me back a rose. he fr gets so down bad in a split moment of interaction lmao.

𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗶 boy is in the middle of filming a self vlog of his vacay when you enter the screen from behind with flowers in your hands. moves to the side thinking you were asking him to excuse you. but then you hold up a rose to him and he's like okay? taking it in slow motion giving side eye to the camera like what's going on right now? doesn't really mind all that much though cause you're pretty and you have such cute vibes. regrets later for not asking for your name, hence edits in the scene into his vlog and asks his followers to help him find his dream girl.

taglist ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

[artyandink]

𝙾𝙻𝙳 𝙵𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙴𝙳 | bartender!dean winchester

Summary: Dean Winchester needs a job after his little brother left for Stanford, and he’s good at mixing drinks. You happen to work at Harvelle’s Roadhouse, which is the place he chose to work at. He finds a family. He finds a new life. But he also finds you. But you have problems of your own.

A/N - My first reader series, do make sure to comment and/or reblog feedback. Set with S1/2 Dean cause I love our baby boy 😁 and pretend group chats exist on old phones lol

SERIES MASTERLIST

one - gin and tonic

Harvelle’s Roadhouse.

It was rather a homely place, with the constant chatter of the different people that stop by for a quick drink, the tunes playing from the jukebox, followed by the clatter of pool cues that ended with the clinking and tappings of glass on glass and glass on table. The place was lit with warm light, bulbs hanging from the ceiling and the distinct musk of whiskey, vodka and tequila that burned people’s throats without the liquid even going down them. It was chaotic.

It was home.

You shared a look with Jo, who was busy serving a passer-by with a cheery smile on her face while Ellen was walking a first-time drinker through the right options, rather than ordering fifty at once and getting so hammered that you three would have to drag them off the floor of the bar and mop up their sick. You sneakily poured a shot for yourself, downing it before anyone but Jo had a chance to see what you were doing and washing out the shot glass. You were a bartendress, you could hold your liquor without a problem.

“Hey.” Jo nudged you after serving a whiskey and nodded to the opposite corner, where a clearly wasted man was trying to grope a poor girl passing by, grabbing her wrist and trying to tug her back with slurred words and bedroom eyes. The sight made your blood boil and your hand itch to reach for the baseball bat that laid behind the counter. “Reckon we should 86 ‘em?”

“I don’t think there should be reckon anything.” You frowned, pursing your lips. “Dude needs to go.” You kept your eyes on the guy, while your co-worker and good friend Benny approached you two with narrowed blue eyes and cap pulled low over his brow.

“Everythin’ alright here, darlings?” He drawled, and his eyes follow the trajectory of yours and Jo’s until he finds the drunk man across the room, a small hum of acknowledgment leaving his mouth. “Y’all can relax. I’ll handle this-”

“Hey, pal?” A hand with a silver ring on it gripped the shoulder of you guys’ target, the voice sounding a bit stern. The hand was connected to a leather jacket-clad arm, which was worn by a man who was about 6’ 1” in height, and rather devastatingly handsome. He had sandy blonde hair and startling green eyes, with pouty pink lips and rather a defined jaw. He was built well, and clearly benched or at least worked out. You found yourself staring at his easy smile that masked some well-controlled anger towards the guy. “The lady doesn’t want you touching her. I’d hate for that handsome face of yours to be ruined.” The sarcasm in the comment got you grinning, and also got Benny over to the scene to roughly take the drunk dude’s hand off the girl, pulling him up and throwing him out while Jo ducked out from the counter to take care of the poor thing and get her a drink.

You found the stranger who helped Benny out at the counter, eyes twinkling as he looked into yours with a grin that twinkled in the light of the flickering bulb above your heads that you quickly twisted and got properly working again. “Harvelle’s Roadhouse, what can I get you today?” You greeted automatically, giving the man a smile that held a hint of gratitude. Gratitude, yes, but your eyes betrayed knowing. You could see the lost look in his eyes, almost searching for a place, and your heart went out to him. You knew all too well how that felt. All too well.

“A job, hopefully.” He answered with a nervous chuckle, looking down and then up at you with his eyes scanning you almost imperceptibly. “Saw the hiring sign outside, thought I might try my hand here.”

“Well, your hand got lucky.” You grinned, tapping the counter twice to get Ellen’s attention while she was serving another customer. “Can I get a name?”

“That’d be helpful.” He smirked, then put out his hand for you to shake. “Dean Winchester.” You shook his hand while giving him your name in return, Ellen stepping to stand beside you.

“We got a new hire, huh?” She chuckled, shaking Dean’s hand. “Hi, I’m Ellen. I run the place.”

“Dean. Winchester.” The name made Ellen’s eyebrows raise in surprise, and yours did too in curiosity. She seemed to know Dean, and that intrigued you.

“You’re one of John Winchester’s boys.” Ellen noted, which made Dean look between you and Ellen, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer.

“You know my old man?” He asked curiously, his emerald eyes almost giving a puppy-dog look as he addressed Ellen, his hands clasped on the counter in front of him.

“John stopped by often, was like family once.” She nodded with a soft smile. “Also knew you through Bobby, also a regular. Said you were a good kid. Well, I guess you’ve met our golden girl.” Ellen gestured to you with a tender hand, patting your shoulder. “She makes the meanest Cosmo around. She’ll show you ‘round, get you acquainted with the rules and regulations and also introduce you to the others working this shift. Take him through it, sweetie.” Ellen moved away to serve more customers, while you lifted up the gate to the counter to allow him inside. Dean stepped in, already looking mesmerised by the atmosphere and simultaneously the large selection of hard liquor to get through. Jo and Benny left their posts, strolling over to join you two.

“A new hire.” Benny held his hand out for Dean to shake. “Benjamin Lafitte, brother, but call me Benny.” Benny took one look at shared a look with you; he saw it too. The need of a metaphorical map in this stranger’s minuscule mannerisms. He was in need of support, and even though you two didn’t know what for, you were happy to give it.

“Benny, got it.” Dean shook Benny’s hand with an easy grin. “Dean Winchester, but call me Dean.” He turned to Jo, his eyes flicking up and down her as he’d done with you, and you noted that it might be a natural thing for him. Checking out pretty ladies. “And who might you be?”

“Jo.” She shook his hand, flicking her blonde hair out of her face.

“Don’t be shy, Joanna Beth.” Benny teased, piquing Dean’s interest.

“Joanna Beth?” He repeated with raised eyebrows and a small smirk.

“It’s just… Jo.” Jo chuckled, swatting Benny’s shoulder. “Ignore him.”

“Duly noted.” Dean nodded, then Benny took his shoulder. Their eyes met, and Benny’s lips twisted into a smirk.

“One question for you, brother.” Benny drawled in his slow accent, his eyebrow raising under the cap. “Can you handle your liquor?”

“I can mix ‘em and drink ‘em, if that’s what you’re getting at.” Dean answered confidently, that devilish grin still on his face.

“Then you’ll fit right in.” You clapped his shoulder- his surprisingly muscular shoulder - and brought him over to show him the ropes. “Initiation’s gonna be fun.”

Later on, when the Roadhouse closed up and all the patrons were out, we gathered around the bar. You introduced Dean to your resident party animal, Ash, who was busy being a genius in his room out back. You all were relaxing with glasses of whiskey, making sure to make Dean feel at home. He fit in well, and had instantly become a popular with the ladies and Benny’s new partner in crime. Jo pulled out ten shot glasses, which made everyone but Dean whoop and clap their hands.

“Time for initiation, young man.” Ellen cackled, taking out a bottle of bourbon, scotch, hard whiskey, vodka and tequila. Dean stared at the five bottles in confusion as they filled up the shot glasses, two shots per bottle in the order described.

“Complete this test and you’re officially one of us.” Jo smiled, pushing all of them forward in a neat line while you prepared a stopwatch. Dean registered all of the five drinks lined up with a small smirk, and then glanced around at the others in the room.

Had everyone done this before?

The prospect was thrilling. Getting to be part of a surrogate family that seemed to be so… happy. Especially since Sammy had left for Stanford and his old man wasn’t the keenest where he was concerned, being a part of this was all he wanted.

“All you have to do is down all ten of these shots within forty five seconds.” You grinned, holding up the stopwatch. “Level one is bourbon. Then scotch. Then you have hard whiskey, but not too strong. After that’s some tangy vodka, and you have the final level. Our strongest tequila.”

“Strong as hell. Beauty’s got a kick.” Benny whistled, then nudged you. “Remember when Bela thought she could handle more of that stuff and was passed out on the pool table five minutes later?”

“Like it was yesterday.” You laughed, then gestured to Dean. “Take your mark, soldier.” Dean stepped up to the counter, assessing the situation with careful, determined green eyes. They always seemed to captivate you. That and his winning smile. He’d taken off his leather jacket, which was over a blue flannel and grey undershirt. He had a boyish charm to him that you couldn’t help but warm up to as well. “Ready?”

“Born ready.” He nodded, mentally preparing himself as he took a deep breath, waiting for his cue. Then when there was the loud shout of ‘go’, he started slamming back the shots, the liquid burning his throat as we went. The bourbon and scotch were easy, the whiskey went down quicker than expected, but he faltered slightly on the vodka, the tang making one of his eyes close instinctively.

It felt like a goddamn barrage of sour candies at once.

However, Dean braved it and threw back the other, picking up the tequila and downing the first one. The burn made him cough and shake his head as the room went off kilter for a moment, but he grabbed the other and took it down in half a second before slamming the glass down on the table. You stopped the timer, and Dean straightened up as he got what felt like a million claps on the back. He met your eyes with a wide grin that matched yours, gratefully downing the glass of water that Ellen gave him before letting out a whoosh of breath.

“You’re one of us, brother.” Benny chuckled deep, gripping his shoulder. Dean couldn’t help but think about how mismatched this little gang was. There was mama bear Ellen, who doted on everyone as well as being a badass in her own right, mother of the sweetly fierce Jo, or Joanna Beth, who could flash a sweet smile at one point but stare daggers the next that can chill bones. Benny, with his distinct cap and fashion sense, paired with the slow drawl of an accent and rough-around-the-edges demeanour.

And then there was you. By what he knew of you, you were a firecracker. Cheeky smiles and a confident way of moving about pairing beautifully with your suave way of handling and mixing drinks. Paired amazingly, like a gin and tonic, or vodka and soda. Beginner’s drinks, but a classic and something he’d walk back to every time. Or maybe you were like whiskey on the tongue. You had an almost irresistible burn to you. Maybe a bourbon, with the hint of sweetness to your demeanour.

Ah, he’d find out someday.

You woke up the next morning, in the bed that was in your room at the Roadhouse to a texts from the group chat you all had, which didn’t include Ellen otherwise she’d chastise you all for the messages you left on there sometimes. You knew that today would be rather an eventful day, since Bela, Meg and Ruby were coming to work on your shift. The trio were alike in every sense of the word, but there was a respective increase in the level of savagery. Bela was smoothly rude, in either a way you couldn’t fault her for or one that you just couldn’t argue back to. Meg could roast you without a second thought but she made it sound like charisma, which it was, rather than outright hatred. If she wanted to, however, she could let you know she hated you. Ruby was just downright honest. Brutally honest in every way possible, but she couldn’t help but be one of your best friends. For all her sharp insults and snarky comments, she just had a wow factor you couldn’t ignore.

Since Dean was in need of a place to stay, Benny graciously offered to let the newcomer stay over. You and Benny had found the Roadhouse together, and you knew a lost soul when you saw one. A kindred spirit. You’d lived at the Roadhouse, courtesy of Ellen and Jo, and even when it wasn’t your shift, you always managed to make it there for a good day of relaxing, laughing and playing pool and maybe poker. Today, since it was a Sunday, the Roadhouse closed early, which meant you all could play random games and jam to karaoke and old songs on the jukebox.

You checked the messages on your phone, snickering at how many there were. But what caught you off guard was the latest one.

Queen B: Alright, what’s the deal with the new guy? Is he hot?

You: Bela, chill. Don’t go hitting on Dean already.

Megolodon: Dean? Even his name sounds sexy as hell

Ruby-gina George: Y’all are desperate

You: Right? Jesus, you haven’t even met the guy yet

Queen B: I call dibs on him 😉 Megolodon: I hope he has a brother, if you know what I mean 😏 older or younger I don’t mind at all, but I prefer younger

Ruby-Gina George: We haven’t even seen him yet

You: Stop thirsting over a guy you haven’t met

Queen B: You’ve seen him- is he hot?

Megolodon: C’mon, spill

Queen B: IS. HE. HOT

You: You two need to STOP

Ruby-Gina George: Touch freakin’ grass

Ben Dover: Leave the poor girl alone, Bela, she needs a breather

You: FINE. He’s attractive, alright

Queen B: HE’S MINE

Megolodon: Dibs on his brother

ScarJo: My god, stop blowing up my phone or mom will see these messages and fire us all

Queen B: Worth it

Megolodon: Yeah, I’m cool with that, just give me the hot bartender’s brother, please and thank you

Casanova: Who are we talking about? I’m confused.

Ben Dover: New hire

Casanova: Ah.

You shook your head, shoving your phone in your pocket as you stood up, heading over to the cupboard. You pulled out a red plaid shirt, taking off your tank and pulling the chosen clothing item on, doing up the buttons before heading to your mirror and trying to tame your hair for the first time in ages. Eventually, you settled on a simple rope braid that still had a few strands coming out of it, taking off your sweatpants and replacing them for jeans. Rolling up your sleeves to your elbows as you went, you zoned out while staring at the silver band on your finger with a snake engraving.

The delicate welts in the ring.

You weren’t married, no, but it was a part of where you came from. You weren’t proud of your history. The one part of it that came out good was your siblingship with Benny.

You met the sunshine streaming through the window, along with the sight of Dean already working at the bar. His flannel’s sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his hair was short and spiky and he wore a soft smile on his face that suited him. However, his eyes flickered to a girl at the bar you knew all too well. What with her penchant for the finer things in life, hence the perfectly styled brown hair and clever green eyes, complete with a British accent.

Bela Talbot.

She was giving Dean what looked like bedroom eyes until his eyes flickered over to you, his face lighting up instantly with a chuckle at whatever she was saying. You seemed to pick up your sleepy mood as well, returning the grin. Bela smirked slightly, pumping her eyebrows twice as she took a sip of her wine. Wine in the morning. It made you grin at your friend.

How very Bela.

“Mornin’, sweetheart.” Dean rumbled, his morning voice sounding deep and rich. “Sleep well?”

“Slept great, thanks.” You replied softly, pouring yourself a glass of water and sipping it. “You settle in ok? At Benny’s?”

He nodded. “Oh, yeah.” He chuckled a bit, looking down with a bashful smile and a bite of his lip. “He’s great. And it’s great at his place.”

“Had I come earlier, I would offer you a bed at my place.” Bela smirked, then winked playfully rather than flirtatiously. “There’s only one, but I wouldn’t mind sharing.” The comment got a laugh out of both Dean and you, knowing it was all in good fun.

“An offer that I probably wouldn’t refuse.” Dean replied with a suave tone that had Bela grinning at you, nudging you before pointing at Dean with a manicured finger.

“I like him. He’s funny.”

“Good to know.”

“Well, you’re quite a handsome one.” Meg swayed up to the counter, dark brown hair swaying as her equally as dark eyes scanned Dean. She delicately put out her hand for him to shake. “Hi. Meg Masters, darling.”

“Dean Winchester.” Dean shook her hand with a sideways look, seeming rather flattered by the attention of so many women. “And thank you.”

“Just for research purposes-”

“Meg, don’t say it.” You whispered, but she waved you off with a sultry chuckle, her eyes focusing on Dean as she stole a bottle of vodka from behind the bar, pouring a shot which she threw back expertly.

“Do you have a brother? Out of curiosity.” She asked blatantly, smiling innocently at Dean, but you knew the smile wasn’t so incredibly innocent. Meg was like a demon; she corrupts easily. But she was a loveable little devil.

“Oh, shut up, we don’t have to be so touchy feely and up close.” Ruby groaned as she walked in, blonde hair swinging. “And get me a shot of tequila, it was a long and insufferable car ride.”

“You must be Ruby.” Dean noted, pointing at Ruby and smirking slightly. “Bela’s given me the rundown on who’s who. And yeah, I do have a younger brother. Sammy. He’s a dork.”

“Even better.” Meg winked as she poured Ruby a shot of tequila and passing it to her. “Where’s Benny at? I need my daily dose of that accent otherwise I might go insane.”

“You’ve already got the image of the newbie’s little brother so far up your ass, I’m surprised you remembered Benny.” Ruby snorted, taking her shot. “He’s out bein’ errand boy with Ellen and Jo. Texted him when I got here.”

“Earning some brownie points, are we?” Bela giggled. “How very like our suave gentleman.”

“Wine before breakfast.” You quipped, sipping your water. “How very like our expensive Brit, hm?” A round of laughter came from everyone around you, including Bela.

“You got me there.” She sighed playfully, sipping her wine. “Damn you.”

“Damn me.” You winked back, and then a nervous chuckle came from Dean.

“Don’t mean to be a downer on the party, ladies, but I’m feelin’ kind of out of place here.” He gave you all a nervous smile, and the lost puppy look was starting to come out again. You laid a comforting hand on his forearm, tilting your head.

“Don’t worry about it.” You smiled softly, letting out a breath through your nose. “We all love you already. Even if these three are too much.”

“Too much looks good on me, biatches.” Ruby added with a drawl, which got a grin out of Dean and you.

“We get it, Ruby.” You giggled, then glanced back at up Dean and his gorgeous green eyes. “You’re doing great, Dean. Don’t sweat it too much.” The comment got a suggestive ‘ooh’ out of the other three girls in the room, which had you and Dean looking to the counter and the floor respectively with dumb grins on your faces.

“BREAKFAST!” Startled all of you when Ellen walked in with Benny and Jo, the women holding two grocery bags while Benny carried four, most likely out of pure gentlemanliness.

You shared a soft look with Dean, followed by a reassuring pat on his forearm before you stood up and moved to help Benny with the bags. He glanced down at his forearm with a slight smile, fighting off a blush as his tongue darted out to lick his lips. His hand rubbed over the spot before he got to unpacking the grocery bags, feeling assured. Feeling safe.

Feeling like he was part of a family.

bDe: so this is the group chat, huh

You: Hey, Dean 👋

bDe: hey, sweetheart ;)

Ruby-gina George: Where did SWEETHEART come from

Queen B: You wish you were someone’s sweetheart, Rubes

Ruby-gina George: In your dreams, Bell-bottoms

Queen B: But you hate bell bottoms

Ruby-gina George: Exactly 😊

bDe: are they always like this

Ben Dover: You get used to it, brother

You: It’s all uphill from here

Casanova: Can someone please tell me the name of the new hire? I need to add him to my contacts.

bDe: dean winchester

Casanova: Thank you. I am Castiel Novak.

ScarJo: Cas, the perfect spelling, punctuation and grammar is NOT necessary

You: Yeah, how can you type that without getting bored

Casanova: How do you type without perfect spelling, punctuation and grammar?

Megolodon: We just type, Cassie baby, it’s not that hard

Queen B: Even I don’t type that fancy, and I’m British

Ruby-gina George: Part fancy Brit, part asshole

Queen B: I hate you

Ruby-gina George: You’re such a flirt

You: Like I said, Dean, uphill from here

ScarJo: Yeah, doesn’t get much worse than this

bDe: nah this right here is gold

Ben Dover: *eats popcorn*

bDe: can I have some

Ben Dover: sure, brother

You: All of you are unhinged- @Casanova are you gonna be there on your shift tomorrow

Casanova: Yes, I am.

Queen B: Our dear Cas, bland texter by day, expert mojito mixer at night

ScarJo: Sounds accurate to me

Casanova: I hate you all.

You : You love us ☺️

Casanova: I suppose that’s true.

After closing, everyone had gone to their respective houses, or so you thought. You were about to change and get into bed after a long day of supervising the bar in case Dean needed help or the girls were being far too flirty for their own good, but then you heard clinking glass from downstairs that piqued your interest. You prepared to grab the baseball bat from the cupboard on the landing as you crept out, but only heard the humming of a low voice you recognised as Dean. You walked into the main bar to find him cleaning the glasses, the clink coming from when he set them down with the others. But he heard you enter, and he looked up with the washcloth still held in his large hand. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Dean, what are you…” You quickly moved to his side, ducking under the counter and taking the cloth. “Why are you here so late?”

“Thought I should clear up. It makes a good first impression.” He shrugged, and you got the whiff of ‘I’m lost and just want to fit in’ again. Dean mentioned a brother yesterday, so it had you wondering why he found the Roadhouse in the first place. Everyone was a lost soul who came here to work. Castiel divorced his wife and left his daughter, and needed a job after he was fired. Ruby left her abusive family, and Meg was in a toxic relationship. Bela had been on the run from her family and had become a pocket thief in the process until Ellen gave her a place at the Roadhouse. As for you and Benny, well, that was a topic neither of you were fans of touching that topic.

“You don’t have to work for that, Dean.” You reassured, squeezing his shoulder. “You’re already fitting in. Just don’t change yourself for insecurity’s sake. It’s gonna bite you in the ass later.”

“Good to know.” Dean chuckled, fiddling with the ring on his finger. “And I prefer my ass to be unbitten.”

“Don’t we all.” You joked, then gave him a smile. “C’mon, if you really wanna make a good impression, then get some rest.”

“You sure?” He frowned a little, his hand twitching to take the cloth from your hands, but you moved it further away. “I could help out, y’know.”

“Not that we don’t want you here, it’s just that we value physical well-being. And mental.”

“Gotcha.” He laughed, nodding as he picked his jacket off the coat hook. “Are you absolutely sure?” Dean wore a concerned look on his face, not wanting to leave you alone to do work. “I could save you some time.”

“I’m gonna drag Bela, Meg and Ruby’s asses to do this.” You chuckled, setting the cloth down on the counter. Dean felt comfortable as hell around you. Maybe it was because you were the first one he knew at the Roadhouse. “Go on, get.”

“Alright, alright, Jesus.” He took out his keys, winking smoothly. “Have a nice night, darlin’.”

“You too, Dean.” You waved as he left, a minute later the loud purr of a car, crunching gravel and screeching tyres gracing your ears.

3:00AM

Queen B: Anyone awake, I’m boredddddd

Megolodon: Same girlie

Ruby-gina George: Some people value their sanity you know

Ben Dover: Why are you up at 3am

bDe: so much for being told to get some sleep

You: You two are insufferable

Casanova: We have work tomorrow.

Queen B: Ohh god, I’m so drunnnnkkkkk

ScarJo: How much hard liquor have you had?

Queen B: Mmmmmmmaybe three

Queen B: b9ttles of tequ8la You: Three WHAT

Ruby-gina George: She’s so slammed she’s typing numbers

Megolodon: Awesome

Ben Dover: Bela, darling, where are you

Queen B: in your lap

bDe: damn

NEXT UP:

“So, darlin’, what do you do in your free time?” Dean asked you, cleaning out a glass with a rag and shooting a wink to a couple of giggling girls nearby. You poured a whiskey for a patron, sliding it across the table.

“Well, I’m a big fan of joyrides.” You answered with a goofy grin. “My Mustang’s always fun to take a spin in.” The mention of your Mustang got Dean’s eyebrows up to his hairline as he pointed out of the window.

“That beaut’s yours?” He exclaimed in disbelief, laughing. “Damn. That’s a serious muscle car.”

“Yeah, my Valkyrie. Val’s my sweetheart, always will be.” You looked up wistfully at the mention of your beloved car. “And your Chevy Impala, she’s absolutely gorgeous. I could listen to her purr all day.”

“That’s my Baby.” He bore the same wistful look you did, then nudged you. “We should take ‘em out for spins. Y’know, joyrides.”

“You sure?” You chuckled, looking up at him. “I don’t drive easy.”

“Even better.” He gave you a little wink paired with a click of his tongue. He flipped a bottle in his hand, pouring a whiskey shot expertly and handing it to you. “Ma’am.”

TAGLIST:

@hobby27 @jackles010378 @deans-spinster-witch @kr804573 @eexphoria @onlyangel-444

Like, reblog, and let me know if you want to join the taglist!

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Anne Baxter (The Ten Commandments, All About Eve)—her soft, gentle voice in "all about eve", those gentle eyes with something odd behind them, the way she flips from Sweet Innocent to Viper on a dime......there was something Built Different about anne baxter, man, and it makes her so good for playing people who are Built Wrong. also one of my favorite batmen villains (her joint episode w vincent price is a delight) and of course I'm obsessed with her columbo episode where she bosses around edith head and does fabulous movie star things for no good reason. and i would be REMISS if i didn't mention her slink—oh the slink—in the ten commandments...................pardon me i must go think of sinning again

Waheeda Rehman (Chaudhvin Ka Chand, Pyaasa, Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam)—90+ films and counting, an absolute legend of Hindi cinema. When I see her in Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam it makes me want to chew glass

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Anne Baxter:

The prettiest murderer in that film. Just so beautifully evil as Nefertari.

Anne Baxter was part of my Bisexual Awakening. My family has a tradition that every Palm Sunday we watch The ten commandments on TV together... And starting from a very young age, I essentially developed a crushes on Anne Baxter's Nefertiri & Yul Brynner's Ramses. Dude, the woman was HOT! They both were! My crush definitely wasn't helped by the fact that Anne Baxter's costumes were a bit on the sheer side. She had a way of capturing you with her eyes, and I never understood why Charlton heston's Moses didn't just have a threesome with Nefertiri and Ramses. LOL

Her Nefertiri in The Ten Commandments was FORMATIVE TO ME. If not the hottest old movie lady, then she definitely played the hottest old movie character. if that makes sense.

Look. Listen. I only *just* discovered her on a post from the Have You Seen This Romcom poll blog. Saw she had the same last name as me and went OOH hi hello. Went to her IMdB and saw she was born in Indiana like moi. I am now even more intrigued. Been eagerly telling my partner this, and he was like "maybe you guys are distantly related?" And after 2 hrs of going down the tumblr tag + her imdb photos, I'm In Deep(tm) and I can't stop looking at her like 😍 When I go to my grandma's house, bet your ass I'm gonna check my grandpa's genealogy and see if we're somehow related. Sorry that's not really propaganda I just got real excited, esp when I saw that the submission deadline was extended (bless your soul). Narrowing down the movies where she's hottest in was Hell tyvm. I've only just discovered her, she looks gorgeous to me in every movie still I see of her gdi lol.

Waheeda Rehman propaganda:

Linked gif

Linked gif 2

[lowkeyrobin]

Mcyt bbut a Karen makes their S/O cry? :0

It's the readers first ever encounter with one in the wild and at first Y/N just,,, tries to ignore the woman/leave but the Karen does the usual of not letting em leave and then Y/N gets overwhelmed and starts crying?-

BAHAHHAAB I LOVE FUCKING WRITINF ABOUT KARENS I CANNOT LMFAOOOOOO ; thank you for the request lol ; I got a random strike of writers block halfway through and its very obvious I'm sorry

MCYT ; wild karen encounter

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language, iterations of homophobia/transphobia & fatphobia, Karen activity, reader is described as nonbinary

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you two went different ways while clothes shopping and you were looking at more fem/masc (whichever doesn't conform with your sex) clothing

you felt someone glaring daggers at you so you glanced up and saw some random ass woman staring at you, accompanied by her 13ish year old son

she started making remarks about how you shouldn't be looking at those clothes and it's not "modest" for a little young man/woman like you

like mf you're nonbinary huh

you try to ignore her, meanwhile her son looks SO uncomfortable and wants to very obviously leave

she starts recording you out of no where to call you slurs and the sons just like "mom stop" and of course she doesn't

you end up crying and trying to hide it while you defend yourself but you get quickly overstimulated and flustered

the yelling caught Tommy's attention so he quickly walks over like "woah, woah, woah, what's going on?"

and she starts SCREAMING at poor Tommy about you

he looks at you literally wiping your tears while she's STILL recording it and he just peacefully flames her ass

"it doesn't matter what the hell they wear, clothes don't have gender and I could care less about what my partner buys and wears and how they express themselves. go post that to Facebook and look like a fuckin' idiot."

he pulls you away to the changing rooms so you can talk in private and eventually try on the clothes you were looking for

while he was going that he got a hold of a nearby security officer and told them about the situation since you'd both been illegally recorded on the premises of the store

he didn't wanna press charges for you or anything but at least wanted the woman escorted out to look more like a dumbass, considering the security guard had to call the police because what she did was a crime

couple days later you found the video and bodycam footage of the woman being detained and arrested for resisting arrest and recording someone without consent on private property, which is marked as a felony where you live

live laugh love Tommy bc everyone in the video description was hyping him up and saying how bad they felt for you and even the son 🫶

RANBOO

dude you can't even go grocery shopping without people bitching about you guys

you were just trying to pick out some chips and this lady walks past with a scoff

ran quickly turns around like, "Sorry, can we help you?"

she quickly starts yelling about how you gay people are all going to hell and shit

ranboo quickly spits back but you get overstimulated and really take it to heart and you tear up a bit

the lady notices and points it out

she then follows you around the store, yelling at you and shit while they're on the phone dialing the non emergency police line because wtf is wrong w this lady???

before you're questioned and after she's detained, you guys stand alone and try to calm yourself down because you were just getting really stressed about it because wtf do you even do in that situation

gives you a big hug and reassures you that it's okay to cry

he's generally just proud of you in general for being able to hold yourself together for the most part

FREDDIE BADLINU

you two were going out for a little movie date, and dressed in tuxedos to watch Saw X

some dumbass dude was making snarky comments to his wife about you two considering you were holding hands while ordering snacks

Freddie turns around, having heard the guy talking about you thinking he dropped something "can I help you?" He asks in the nicest tone possible

the man and his wife both start making nasty comments about "this generation going to hell" and how you're brainwashing Freddie or something???

you almost immediately start crying because you're trying to ignore it and talk to the girl behind the counter filling your popcorn bucket who doesn't know what to do

she quickly pushes the security button under the counter because she can see your distress and how Freddie was just like stunned as he looked between the couple and you cause like wth

once they're escorted out you're the first in the theater so you guys sit there and talk it all out because you got really overwhelmed

he gives you a hug and reassures you that you did nothing wrong and you're gonna enjoy the movie

the dude had a warrant out for his arrest for not paying child support anyways L

NIKI NIHACHU

you two were out on a walk in a park holding hands and shit and passed this little family down by the creek

the mom just goes full fucking demon mode and starts recording you guys and shouting at you

niki quickly retaliated with a "leave us alone!" before walking off

you were visibly pretty shaken but she reassures you everything is okay and she probably wasn't even recording

she ends up finding the video a few days later

thankfully all the comments were supporting you two and flaming the lady's ass lmao

QUACKITY

you guys were out doing stuff (getting shit at home depot for quackitys new house and peojects) and some Karen was judging your abilities to handy-man basically

"actually, my partner is the best handyman I know! so shut the fuck up"

the Karen immediately goes to the front to get a manager or some shit

meanwhile yall quickly checkout and leave

while leaving you see her getting detained for resisting an officer with violence and threatening an officer 🥰

that becomes a story you tell at every single "family reunion" (meetup with friends)

he still boasts about yelling at someone like that

FOOLISH GAMERS

you guys were out getting snacks for a movie night with friends that were staying over

some Karen made a comment how you needed to go on a diet or some shit since you were the one carrying the basket full of unhealthy snacks

foolish quickly whips around and flames her ass

you just kinda stand there like "wtf"

foolish slings an arm around your shoulders and leads you away since she wouldn't stop blabbering and was threatening to call the cops for some reason

back in the car he reassures you that you do not need to go on a diet and you don't need to listen to the lady whatsoever

movie night was 10/10 you watched Barbie & roasted Saltburn bc that movie wasn't good like at all

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT is back!!! Here’s my live reaction to everything that happened this week! Obviously take everything I say with massive piles of salt, these are in the moment reactions and aren’t supposed to be fully coherent thoughts.

DRDT CH2 EP12 SPOILERS (Oh that feels good to write)

We’re back!!! Teruko we fucked up!!!

The theory that Charles was going to bring up the possibility of a wrong time of death was true! There weren’t really any other theories about what he was going to say from what I saw, but it’s still cool we got that right. You have no idea how giddy I am to finally hear him talk about it, after waiting so long for him to finish the sentence lol.

Also Teruko’s face lmao.

Oh, poor Teruko, she looks so sad. She’s gonna bring up the marks on the wrist, right?

Or, yeah, the swinging.

(Does this screw up any theories? No, her body was still likely strung up at 7:30 AM, which is what most people thought I’m pretty sure)

Ah, Whit. I missed how shady he always is even when he has, like, an airtight alibi for the time the fish were taken (which is still around 7:30 PM to nightime btw, don’t forget Nico’s account).

They’re not gonna bring up the time the fish were taken, are they? That furthers my belief that the person who took the fish and the murderer are different. Nothing concrete obviously, just kinda narratively works better that way.

“Or did you do it on purpose?” Veronika how I’ve missed you :D

David’s face lmao xD

“I’ll fix that mistake” (Paraphrased) Hell yeah! Go Teruko! :D

I missed you too, Literature Boy Insane. That “pathetic” voice line was cool. Also, thank you Hu.

J: “The body would have been cold if it was drenched at some point.” (Paraphrased). Interesting point about the water, I wonder if it’s important or not. We know she wasn’t drowned because the relax room wasn’t open at 7:30 AM, right? So I don’t know how she could have gotten drenched.

Ace no genuinely how do you not know how water works what.

“The range of human stupidity is larger than I thought.” Charles, you’re great.

[Levi and Nico complain about Arturo’s medicine skills] Okay, but like, Arturo has repeatedly told you he’s not that kind of doctor. Like you can blame the guy for a lot of shit but this one ain’t it chief.

(Also don’t think I don’t see how Levi throws suspicion on Arturo. Small point towards Levi!Culprit and Levi!Accomplice)

“You shut your whore mouth!” Okay maybe I don’t need to defend Arturo actually, he seems like he has it handled. You good my guy?

Oh shit we actually brought up that Arturo is ridiculously young for someone in the medical field. I did not have that in my (hypothetical) bingo card.

Twelve?! Dude my guy wanted out of that house yesterday damn.

Dude he’s kinda going off! I was not expecting Arturo fans of all people to eat this good this episode, but this is interesting!

Oh right the crazy lady- “Adorable”? Verturo shippers eating!

“Feel free to add to the number of dents in the computer lab” (Paraphrased) PFFFT Charles!

Wait wasn’t there actually a dent there? Wasn’t that a thing I saw on people’s theories? Holy shit is that actually going to get addressed?

[Whit explains] AHAHAHAHAHA HOLY-!

“I let it slide because it was funny” I missed MonoTV too actually.

And no fish! Nico’s account of the fish still being there last time they checked goes unmentioned, meaning it’s likely going to be used for a twist later!

New alibis? Could be possible.

Whit: “I don’t have an alibi. Neither does Charles” (Paraphrased) Which you know because…?

Oh so that’s not addressed. I repeat the statement of Whit being unnecessarily shady all the time.

????? DAVID AND J ALIBI???? This could be kinda huge actually.

David: “Oh. Shit.” This is the reaction of a man being cleared of murder. That’s so funny.

Didn’t David usually wake up late? Inconsistent sleep schedule ig.

J: “Oh yeah, and Veronika.” Girl you gotta say this shit earlier.

Yeah, look, J, you went and made Veronika sad! >:( /j

David: “Whoops” Holy shit every line this man says is gold actually what?

David? Lying? Noooo, how could you say that? I forgot how funny post magical girl transformation this man was.

David I am going to need you to give an actual answer. I spent hours looking at That Video and I still don’t know what your deal is please-

“And she’s Teruko” J’s also really funny actually. Hold a knife to someone’s throat once and they hate you forever, smh.

“Oh and don’t say something like “I wanna kill myself” that’s boring” (paraphrased). Holy shit I missed Veronika- that’s my second fave right there! (Min you will always be N1 don’t worry).

David-Veronika duo is great actually.

By the way David said “the truth is…” I am not expecting a serious answer.

You know, for a moment I actually did think he genuinely thought he was the blackened. But my first instinct was right.

“I would have actually tried looking at the crime scene” Bro what the fuck is he actually cooking.

“A good person” drop!!!! If you know, you know!

Also, I wanted to point this out here, I might have accidentally misinformed a part of the fandom a bit? One point that I brought up was that several important people to this chapter have been called “a good person”, and one of the examples I gave was Hu calling David a good person. Which… I don’t think happened? I evidently misremembered a line where Hu called David a “good friend”, which is a different phrase with different connotations in DRDT, and I genuinely apologize for that. Especially because I have seen people repeating that David had been called a good person in the past.

But now David has called himself “a good person”, if in a roundabout way, so the point actually stands lol.

Oh shit the Xander name drop.

… He was trying to kill Teruko wasn’t he. Because Xander tried it, and because David has Teruko’s “the killing game is all your fault” motive. Oh shit.

Speaking of the “good person” point, that argument might actually be dead lmao. Given that Xander got called that and he’s, well. Not particularly important to chapter 2, let’s say.

[Hindsight Post-Video: Actually, the argument could now be “anyone referred to as a good person is deeply important up to chapter 2”. Or, alternatively, argue that Xander is somewhat important to the Chapter 2 trial because he inadvertently caused David to magical girl transform. The “good person” list in case you don’t recall is Teruko, Levi, Eden, Arei, and as of this episode, David and Xander. We’ll see what we make of it once the chapter ends ig]

Oh Teruko is pissed I am loving this.

Holy shit the voice acting is amazing holy shit Teruko is going off she said Xander didn’t treat David like a human (“No Longer Human” reference??? I might just be insane though) oh this is incredible!!!

Oh he knows something deep. This motherfucker knows what was written in Xander’s “kill Teruko” note I bet.

WAIT HE KNEW XANDER BEFORE HOPE’S PEAK?! HE KNOWS WHY HE’S THE ULTIMATE REBEL?!

Motherfucker you are going to tell us what Xander did before Hope’s Peak and why you know his work or I swear to God-!

Okay actually, David, I am going to need you to give… a straight answer at some point? Like I get you’re canonically bisexual (and it’s showing) but a single straight answer isn’t going to kill you.

Also, the music?! Is peak?!

David: “If the answer is no…” Neat sprite! Just thought it looked nice, and the line’s cool too :>

The return of the Teruko Baffled Sprite, long awaited.

Secret reveal? The killing game’s her fault?

Okay not the angle I was expecting in the slightest. Obviously gonna have to analyze how truthful he’s being at the moment, but he’s basically pulling a DRV3 ending logic thing. Cool!

So… Xander is absolutely Opening Guy, right? Like, I know that was the most common theory, but c’mon.

YEAH HU GO OFF!!!!

Voice acting going crazy too!

I adored Hu’s screaming section. How long till it’s revealed she has the “hopeless child” secret?

Hu’s a queen, hell yeah.

Pffft J’s high horse voice line-

Thank you Charles for being the only competent one (affectionate). Btw what does Veronika think of David’s reasoning? I was kinda hoping we’d see that.

[Red herring joke] Whit. Whit /disappointed/silly

Oh shit I was not expecting that line to actually cause a reaction damn.

You know, I’ll be honest and admit Eden’s really not acting that much like a culprit. I still think she is, I’m just surprised I’m not able to confirmation bias my way into suspecting her through her voice lines :v

Aaaand we’re back to Ace v Nico! Woo!

Okay wow the new alibis are like, laser focused on going against the most popular theories, huh? I’m not going to say anything’s deconfirmed yet obviously, but Hu!Culprit, J!Culprit, even Veronika!Culprit and theories surrounding David being involved have some questions to answer damn.

[To the question of if anyone else had alibis] “Nope” Whit how do you know this.

Levi!Accomplice also takes a hit because Eden and Levi aren’t trying to alibi for each other, but it can be explained. If they never prepared to give each other alibis, it’s safer to just… not, since they can’t actually say what they were doing during that time. And yes, possible explanations like this is why I’m not calling anything outright deconfirmed yet.

I wrote that before Levi three dotted directly after Eden, looking like he was thinking of trying to give her an alibi. Now that’s confirmation bias that can’t be safely used for theories!

Oh right J still hates Arturo xD

[The whole thing about excluding suspects who had an alibi at night and not in the morning] Oh God, Levi really wants me to think he’s the culprit huh? The method’s still too crazy for me to really believe that, but still.

This is also bad for Levi!Accomplice. Not a dealbreaker, but still weird that he’d say something that could point in Eden’s direction. I am not even going to try to defend that yet.

Cool. Can we finally talk murder method?

Levi: “That’s my secret.”

Oh okay, we’re not talking method yet.

…

Wait, WHAT?!?!?!!?!!!?!

THAT’S-! That’s not-! What the hell?!

Okay, so. Cool, Levi’s the remorseless murderer, we got that one right. But, the reveal is so insanely out of left field holy shit…

I am not lying when I tell you I had to get up and start PACING like I was not ready for this. I am vibrating. He just- He just said that shit! What the hell?!

I have genuinely no idea how the hell this is gonna play out. Holy shit I cannot wait for the next episode. It’s just… so peak!!! We are so back!!!

—-

General Closing Thoughts: This episode was awesome! I was lowkey a little worried that the first episode back wasn’t going to be as insane as it ended up being, but wow it blew me away. And it was only twenty minutes? When the episodes go up to possibly an hour??? It’s just… holy shit.

It was awesome to finally start getting some insight into why David Did That, and I’m genuinely super excited to see where this goes. I’m still trying to figure out the exact angle on things like hiding Teruko’s secret, if he even is doing that because I now believe there is a non-zero chance he isn’t actually lying. Like, it’s low, but not zero. I do find it strange Veronika didn’t react to it, though, but at least we got that one line before David started talking.

But that’s only the cusp of the iceberg. I genuinely adore the details we got on Arturo’s backstory, and Hu’s blowup, and Teruko’s remorse- it’s all so awesome.

(The fucking dent in the wall of the goddamn computer room got an explanation I still cannot believe that. Wow)

Props to the voice acting and the music btw, absolutely incredible all throughout.

Btw, correct me if I’m wrong, but there weren’t any “minigames” this episode, right? Nothing wrong with that, just found it interesting.

Theory-Related Initial Thoughts: This episode is… possibly one of the biggest theory slaughters I’ve ever seen?

Like, obviously, again, it’s still too early in the trial to fully rule out anything, so I’m going to leave it to the other DRDT scholars to revise their own theories to fit the new evidence, but wow those new alibis are something. Between Hu, J and David having alibis for 7:30 AM, that’s three of the top suspects who weren’t there at that exact time to either kill Arei or mess with the body. Again, maybe there’s explanations for it, I’m not calling anything unconfirmed yet, just that many theories were inconvenienced.

As for my theory, Eden!Culprit Levi!Accomplice… ups and downs. The more Eden speaks, the less I’m convinced she’s the actual culprit, even if I’m a decent 80% sure she took the tape; the more Levi speaks, the less I’m convinced he’s an accomplice. I’m not going to deny that their dialogue isn’t 100% what I would expect. I don’t think it’s disqualifying, I still believe it to be the theory with the best evidence, it’s just that some things strike me as odd.

That was what I thought… until the end. Because I have no idea what’s about to happen with Levi revealing the secret like this, but… there is a very possible Levi!Accomplice turn here? Like, it’s the “Levi’s holding the glove” idea; the moment Eden loses her alibi, Levi does something that immediately puts a target on his back, potentially trying to get himself voted off before people catch on to Eden as a possible culprit. First he tries to argue that he shouldn’t be a suspect because of the alibi thing, which could make him more suspicious in some people’s eyes (maybe that’s too much 4D chess but it could work), then revealing the secret. I don’t know how likely this is, but it’s a genuine possibility.

Otherwise, I’m… not entirely sure what the angle is? I need to rewatch the trial to figure out why Levi’s talking about “detailing the trial” then immediately revealing his secret. I didn’t rewatch any DRDT before the episode, hence the confusion. But… at this moment, I don’t know what Levi’s cooking, other than possibly accomplice behavior. And even that feels more confirmation bias-y than anything.

There’s also the really weird line where Whit just… knows, Charles had no alibi at 7:30 AM? Unless they discussed it or I’m forgetting something, I don’t actually remember how he’d know that? Was he stalking Charles? Was he just wandering the halls? What kinda-?

(I don’t think that’s likely, but I don’t have a really good read on what’s happening there)

Other than that, here’s a crackpot one to lighten the mood. Mastermind business. I’ve never brought this up before, but I’ve always believed that were Veronika to be the mastermind, she would get revealed early. As in, possibly at the end of this trial, given Teruko had some idea to end the killing game after her chat with Veronika in the movie room.

I’m bringing this up only because Veronika didn’t react to David’s explanation of what he was trying to do by claiming to be the blackened. She was set up for a reaction with the whole “please tell me it’s not boring” thing, and then she… didn’t. It’s possible, in a conspiratorial sense, that she didn’t react because David hit the nail in the head, and Veronika was genuinely upset at the idea. If that’s the case, her reaction could be postponed to the end of the trial, maybe the end of Trial 3, for the early mm reveal there. It’s a very half-baked idea I’m failing to communicate properly ‘cuz I’m eepy, but it’s there.

I rank it in the same level of mastermind evidence as “Nico is unafraid of grabbing MonoTV by the tail.” Immensely silly and should not be considered solid evidence by any means, and yet it’s still probably gonna get mentioned if I ever make a mm probability ranking lol.

Anyways, absolutely incredible episode all throughout. Holy shit were so back, this was amazing. See you next week for more peeks into peak!

[plaidos]

wait sorry just to be clear, the post abt 'calling a transmasc a bitch isn't misgendering even if he says it is' is just mockery of the transmisogynistic people who go like 'all i said was 'dude come on', i use the word dude like that all the time, even with cis women, it's not a gendered term, i wasn't even addressing you directly it's just a general term people use in casual conversation, it's not like i referred to you as 'A dude' i just said 'dude' generally so it's not misgendering lololol get over it'. right? not smth you actually believe? i'm assuming it is a joke bc it's exactly the same argument those idiots make just with the genders swapped. i'm just quite bad at detecting sarcasm so i wanted to make sure. i know assholes like to 'discourse' (read: be transmisogynistic) any time the 'dude' thing gets brought up so if u don't want to answer directly it's fine if u jsut make a post along the lines of like 'anon, you are correct/not correct'. since just anon is kinda vague maybe like (thinks of a random animal) 'dolphin anon'. or idk 'anon #123'. i'd be a bit troubled if u actually believe what u said but it's also not the hugest deal, i'd find it kinda gross that ur comfortable doing that with someone who specifically asks u not to use a 'gendered but sometimes used neutrally' term w them. i'd ask u to consider that the word bitch in the way u described functions p much exactly the same as the way ppl often use the term dude, and just bc it's not 'intended' to be gendered doesnt make it not misgendering. like it's as disingenuous as the argument ppl make about the word dude. but tbh even tho i think believing that sucks it's also not like as serious as the dude thing bc it's not like there's a bunch of ppl calling transmascs 'bitch' specifically to harass them. misgendering a transmasc is still rude but it's not as bad as insane transmisogyny lol. obviously if it was a joke/mockery then u already know all this sorry. anyways yeah sorry i have no interest in 'starting shit' or w/e i'm just trying to confirm if it was a joke or not bc my gut says it is, but it's also something that's not impossible for someone to believe and i tend to be bad at discerning these things correctly so i wanted to check. regardless, thanks for ur time and have a nice day.

let me make this perfectly clear:

i think it is noble & honourable to be compared to a woman, and disgusting and abhorrent to be compared to a man.

slightly more serious answer: the word “bitch” is a misogynistic insult. the word “dude” is a masculine word that is not an insult. in general, men are upset at being called “bitch” because it is considered degrading for a man to be like a woman. women are upset at being called “dude” because it asserts that male is the gender neutral default. i am not actually trying to say that bitch is a totally genderless word, that would be nonsensical. but we are not asserting that women are the default when we use “bitch” in a gender-neutral way, are we? there’s an obvious difference here.

similarly, i will — and have — bend to any and every transmascs’ requests to not call them “girl” the way i do everybody — “hey girl” “be serious with me girl”, but i won’t bend to their requests to not refer to a group of people as “ladies” or “girls” (no matter if there are any girls there or not, the way people say “guys” or “men”). you can say “And Coleman” if you care that much and i’ll even affirm it for you. And Coleman. I respect you.

i’m gonna finish this off with: this relationship between transmascs and transfems is not equal as it stands. the english language is already leaning more towards you than us. you’re going to have to put up with us demanding more space. after all, you’re taking up ours.

[featguler]

i'm being for real ────── "she ain't brahim's girlfriend, dude".

♡ ────── pairing : brahim díaz x reader ♡ ────── tags : reader is female, and her faceclaim is established. she has lived in england for a while. reader is a tiktoker. google translated spanish idc. ♡ ────── notes : HIIII sorry for not being active, i've been sick and now i'm working on a thesis proposal while also working... i miss yall omfg how are you all doing :(( <333 ALSO IGNORE TIMELINES i had a hard time finding pics for this smau for some reason.... i don't know what the plot is but they do a hard launch at the end of this. HOPE U ALL ENJOY mwah mwah ♡ masterlist.

FACECLAIM 𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ dwynna win ( instagram )

DISCLAIMER 𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ 𐙚 i am not affiliated with dwynna win, brahim diaz, or anyone mentioned in this fic 𐙚 any similarities in name, time, and place is purely coincidental 𐙚 do not mind the time stamps 𐙚 click on the pictures if it seems blurry!

yninstausername

liked by judebellingham, brahim, stanwaygeorgia and others

yninstausername knee-deep in the passenger seat view all comments

instausername not the situationship song

instausername IS IT CASUAL NOW!!!

judebellingham when's your next video coming out ❤️ by author

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yninstausername SORRY yninstausername ilysm

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yninstausername FINALLY someone focusing on the important thing!!

instausername this the one yall are saying are dating brahim?

instausername lol no one is saying that they're dating instausername @.instausername EVERYONE is saying they're dating, go on x or tiktok instausername she's dating bellingham no???

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yninstausername it's from! @.boutiquee!!! 🥰

tiktokusername

tiktokusername meet brahim diaz's new girlfriend 😍 #brahim #realmadrid view all comments

tiktokusername i thought she's dating jude bellingham??

tiktokusername she's way too old for jude tikotkusername "way too old" is reaching 💀 tiktokusername jude likes his ladies older than him tho

tiktokusername doesn't seem like brahim's type ngl

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yntiktokusername

yntiktokusername almost got... slayed 🩸 view all comments

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tiktokusername SLAYYYY (literally)

tiktokusername brahim IS a pretty funny guy

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yntiktokusername

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yninstausername

liked by merymf4, sergioramos, brahim, and others

yninstausername one week in spain and i already wanna live hereeee!!!!! view all comments

brahim hala madrid 🤍

yninstausername ??? 🙄🙄🙄 yourdad @.brahim hala madrid 🥰🤍 yninstausername @.brahim hala madrid 🤍

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instausername she's friends with like 5 real madrid players + from other fcs too instausername sergio liked this post... you don't get a sergio follow from being a fake fan instausername she's a rma fan since day one instausername we don't know if theyre dating instausername pretty sure she's dating bellingham

fedevalverde Bienvenida!! 🤩 ( Welcome!! ) ❤️ by author

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yourfather hala madrid... 🥰🤍 ❤️ by author

yninstausername these are barcelona pics, papa🤍 yourfather @.yninstausername the scarf... hala madrid 🥰🥰🥰 ❤️ by author

instausername y'all crazy if you think she needs brahim for clout

yninstausername madridistas yall are hating on me because i'm a girl who likes football right be honest

yninstausername well my dad's been a madridista since before half of you were born what now instausername no we're hating bc you like real madrid after dating one of its players lol instausername @.instausername she has a real madrid highlight dating from like 8 years agp 😭😭 instausername just because your daddy's a madridista doesnt make you one lol instausername no we hate clout chasers instausername yall in her comments trying to shame her for liking football!! that's crazy, leave my girl alone!!

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instausername like these bitches are so embarrassing

brahim

liked by vinijr, ardaguler, yninstausername , and others

brahim ¡Te quiero, @.realmadrid! 🤍#HalaMadrid view all comments

vinijr tranqui 🤍🤍🤍 ❤️ by author

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yntiktokusername

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[thatflatenedfrogontheroad]

I made a tier list...

please make your own!! I need to see boomer nations opinions on our man!!!! I know the tiers are actually so vile so change them if you desire :)))

OK so my quick blurb on why they are their!! (working worst to best)

28. Identity Crisis #5 - HE WOULD KILL ME FOR THE FUN OF IT. It did bring about the most random rivalry between Tim drake’s fandom and boomer's which is very funny

27. Black Lantern - Oh no… he's back… like a boomerang. Ate his own son... RIP…. L skill issue

26. Sliver Age - Would actually call me a slur and say that I don't deserve rights. He would hate crime me and then solicit me for sex. He looks like he's wearing a dress… what a pretty lady.

25. Flash TV Show - EWWWWWWWW, he though he ate...

24. DC Online - He looks like he would punch me in face at a NYC bus stop

23. White Lantern - Don't look at me like that… stop. He's back from the dead like a boomerang?? Something about most of the New 52 boomerangs don't hit the same. the bride all in white :’)

22. Young Justice - Gave me the ick. You might be thinking... he looks identical to SS hell to pay, why is he down here?? Great question… HE WAS SO CREEPY TO ONE OF THE GIRLS IN YOUNG JUSTICE….. WHO IS A MINOR!

21. Injustice Movie - Just because your in the background… doesn't save you from this list!!!

20. New 52 - Ok he's kinda hot if you look through your peripherals…Why are you wearing skinny jeans… you millennial

19. Harley Quinn TV Show - He's fine… just fine. “We’ll stack out bingo… Boomer loves an older woman” NO HE MUST LOVE ME! I AM VERY VERY MATURE FOR MY AGE

18. Flash: Sins of the Father - Can you please stop talking in the 3rd person… you are starting to sound crazy.

17. Most Wanted - I know jack shit about him. That's probably because he is barely in a comic issues THATS NAMED AFTER HIM!

16. Flash Point Paradox - His fight scene actually ate. I'm a sucker for Boomer being with the Rogues. If cyborg can take his belt off… so can I

15. Suicide Squad 2021 - Wow they somehow gave him even less lines than his first movie. 1. He doesnt look like boomer. 2. His accent is so bad… and hes AUSTRALIAN 3. His acting low key kinda mid 4. They killed off two of the only OG suicide squad members they had on the cast 5. He dies in the first 20min and in the most disrespectful way

14. Suicide Squad 2016 - The only good thing to come from this man is the fanfiction he brought. THIS FUCKING MOVIE MADE HIM A CANON BRONY WHICH I CAN NOT FORGIVE. GET THIS OUT OF MY SMUT BEFORE FREAK THE FUCK OUT >:( Fuck him and pinky too, you son of a bitch!!!! (its not that serious lol... i just want him to stop fucking a toy horse... please guys)

13. This Goober Alien Guy - I know nothing. He just kinda showed up… and I'm not mad just a little confused. He looks like he needs a hot chocolate and a hug :)))) 

12. Lego Batman Movie - Low key an icon. What I would do to get my hands on one of these sets… I would come close to killing someone for it

11. DC Lego Super Villains - If he wasn't Lego I would propose (Shane Dawson style) Once again what I would do for the very discontinued Lego set tie in…

10. Batman: Brave and The Bold - Those cheekbones could cut someone. Why are you wear a mini skirt… take it off ;)

9. Suicide Squad (comic) - Yes I know he was drinking and driving but he's not real so it doesn't count!!! The beginning of the Boomer Mobile! THE GAP TOOTH DUDE!

8. Justice League Unlimited S1 - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ok the hairline is… bad…. But so is mine twin!! I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE HIM PROPER CLOTHES AND NOT RAGS DUDE

7. Agent of Oz - is this picture is my school profile pic...yes… and??HE'S COVERED IN BLOOD AND IM GIGGLING!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Stjepan Sejic's Boomer - Choke hold and choke me...  I want to hear his voice but he can't break his mewing streak…The ungodly things I would let him do to me

5. Dark: Apocalypse War - Constantine! Boomer! GIRLS! GIRLS!! ILL SLEEP WITH BOTH OF YOU!!! I was not expecting him in this movie so I started to freak out when he showed up DUDE. PLEASE LET ME SIT ON IT

4. Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay - I'm a ride he wouldn't survive… I DONT HAVE WORDS TO DECRIBE HOW I FEEL DUDE… I WOULD DO ANYTHING HE ASKED FOR NO JOKE. Dead on the floor

3. Justice League Unlimited S2 - The glow up in REAL... had me on my hands and knees as a 3rd grader… and still on my knees today. I have never wanted someone to fuck me in the back alleyway of a shit bar so bad in my life

2. Batman: Assault on Arkham - The one that started it all… he is the reason I am this way. no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom BUT GREG ELLIS IS PUBLIC ENIME NUMDER ONE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!!

AND THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!! WE ALL SAW IT COMING

1. Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League - I AM GNAWING ON THE IRON BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!!!! He has it all, the face, the VOICE, the look, the character!!!!! It is hands down the most consistently good representation of captain boomerang out their… and its canon that's he has a big dick :D I would sell my first born to get one night…

Thank you all for reading this word vom, I am sick in the head <3

if any of the comic issues are off or something please let me know :)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your our and tag me!! i need to see them <3<3<3

[sunnysideaeggs]

uuuuh okay thoughts about S2E1 (disclaimer: SPOILERS! and some unpopular opinions bc i WILL be criticizing alicent). most of these i had during my watch yesterday, and now i’m elaborating on them after more thinking about it. looooong post ahead

okay i liked the new intro. i will miss the blood pouring but i think the tapestries are a more visual way to convey targaryen history.

my favorite parts were the shot of vhagar and balerion in the field of fire(? idk they were eating men (green dragon black dragon !!!), the jaehaerys and alysanne portrait, alicent and rhaenyra and aegon and rhaenyra crowned side by side. beautiful.

also, the blood beneath the thread !!! targaryen history is written in blood. never forget this.

i dont particularly like jace being at the wall. it makes little sense to me, especially because the north is massive and i don’t think that cregan would like to make a procession to the wall just because a prince is there. i liked the tidbits though: jon going to the watch is a tradition he followed unknowingly :)

show me more political jace please, he’s cool.

‘surely torrhen would’ve rather died instead of bending the knee unless he believed aegon could bring unity to the 7K’ jace pls 💀

it’s funny that in one scene rhaenys and daemon had more tension and chemistry than all the scenes of daemon with adult rhaenyra. maybe what he needs is a GILF to put him in his place? lmao

LAENA MENTION LETS GOOOOO

‘make it a son for a son’ referring to aemond? alicent has no bone to pick here be fr i can smell bleach for the whitewashing a mile away

i also have issue with the writers’ choice of making rhaenyra ignore her physical needs and spend apparently days riding on dragon back and doing jumps and that when she just had a miscarriage. it’s canon that she was in bed rest for half a year because the loss of visenya took a toll on her body. it will be dumb and criticized if she’s fine to disappear for weeks but not to fight.

alyn velaryon? ok i’m mad bc corlys literally knows this dude is his son ???

i love how we all pretend that corlys and rhaenys were particularly interested in the strong boys. idk i can’t really care about that anymore

ow is helaena sewing alicent a dress? please tell me it’s not a shroud

AEGON APPEARED WOOO 🍳✨

‘where’s jaehaerys? where are his lessons?’ my man doesn’t know to what school his kids go lol

also he can recognize the twins apart with only seeing them :)✨ cute

aegon wanted jaehaerys in his council !!!! he’s making sure jae KNOWS he’s his heir and he’s on aegon’s mind

oh hel is comfortable enough with him to tell him about her prophecies, i’m just afraid that no one understand her

‘the rats’ NOOOOO

aegon is always like ‘😐❔’ around her lol

‘the queen is an enduring mystery’ he’s a poet i love him

alicole pussyeating but at what cost

why does criston has that empty look in his eyes, he had the same look in his scene with rhaenyra

where is all the raw emotion between them from last season? it’s giving cersei and lancel when it should be cersei and jaime. no deep gazes, no catholic guilt, something’s amiss

jaehaerys and egg </3 my feels they’re so cute

okay i have a bone to pick here because why is tyland being treated like a joke? i can get past jaehaerys toying with him because he’s a child, but aegon respected his allies (that’s a big part about him) and would never antagonize them in that way. it’s given rhaenyra and lady redwyne when we know both characters differ the most in the way they treat their subjects.

also, this is TYLAND LANNISTER, the most employed guy ever. he literally put his skin on the fire for his team, he’s loyal and he’s the best ally the greens could’ve asked for. if anyone is to thank for the death of the dragons, it’s him. put some respect on his name because this is the finance bro to end all finance bros.

also he’s always saying important things: the treasure in the green council, jason’s moves here. please listen to him!

another thing i dislike is the way important political moves are being brushed off. the treasure is a big big matter. it should be said explicitly what the council is doing about it being the focus of the scene. i’m sure most casual viewers didn’t catch that the comedic relief is making big money moves that will backfire later.

but anyways jaehaerys is so cute hehe

happy father’s day to aegon targaryen and aegon targaryen only

okay i’m rewatching the jaehaerys and tyland scene and i love tyland’s accent, and how polite he is to the little prince

go aemond in the council !!!

‘you do not have a seat in this council’ okay alicent please stfu. i disliked her demeanor since she was chastising aegon and tyland but this is too much. remember you do not have a seat either.

and no she doesn’t: she’s queen mother, not queen regent. aegon is an able adult and can rule without her help. i know the only council we had was with cersei but that’s because joffrey and tommen were under westeros’ age of majority. that alicent is there is out of aegon’s kindness and the council members’ respect.

also why would she be mad that the brothers are brothering ??? girl you wanted them to be on each other’s side

SUNFYRE MENTION LETS GOOOO

‘we must proceed cautiously’ i think all caution must be thrown overboard here. i know they want to portray A/R as the ‘voices of reason’ being pushed to war and all but sometimes violence is necessary to prevent more violence. what tywin said about murdering a dozen people in a dinner and a thousand in battle.

i’m tired of this aemond slander. he did it, but he’s innocent your grace

why larys kinda…

ok i love his voice

oh so now every move of alicent is seen by larys. she knows that he knows. neat.

why do the handmaidens wear green? they should wear gold ☀️

okay i initially thought syrax was sunfyre because of the pink of his wings. i hope sunfyre is golden smh

it’s neat that we remember than no matter what side we’re on, for the common people dragons are a source of fear and caution. the fishermen are loyal to rhaenyra yet they will run away from her when she’s on syrax because they don’t trust a dragon.

rhaenyra’s pain is so deep, i really empathized with her. absolutely devastating. her expression, her grabbing the cape, everything

emma is so fucking talented for real, making me feel for the death of a character i dislike

(oh how the mourning of a woman for her child will cause thousands of mothers mourning their children the same)

‘aegon the magnanimous’ when your homie gives you a ridiculous nickname

my boy sits and listens to his subjects, calls them by their names and tells them not to be afraid. hello jerard what can i do 4 u? :)

i love how egg is like ‘yea whatever take ur sheep jerard pls like me’

okay i dislike otto here. aegon is obviously into crowd pleasing (a secret tool that will be useful later) and for once it’s okay. jerard will go home with his sheep and be a diehard aegon supporter and raise his kids to be the same, tell his friends about the king’s generosity. i think otto should know better than to angry the population in time of war, even if you can’t make the flock whole, give the man grain or coin so he can feed his family and the effort of going to the king’s house.

hugh? like hugh hammer? ooooh

‘our victory depends on the efforts of the smallfolk’ close enough welcome back princess diana

another otto slander moment here. i don’t think it’s wise to chastise the king (an adult, mind you) and putting himself in between of aegon and the court like that. did we saw otto with viserys? he sat by his side and whispered his advice in a discreet manner. he didn’t try and strongarmed his king in front of dozens of people. that’s not a smart way of doing things. it’s called soft power for a reason

also, i think the directors were trying to make otto parallel tywin in that joffrey in the throne scene, but tywin was explicitly trying to get joffrey to be more involved in the council and the two were alone. give it to aegon, let him have his fun in public and manipulate him in private, that is the way. doing dumb shit like that only makes aegon look like a kid and otto like a shameless powergrabbing dude

one thing i appreciate is that aegon has his own court. he has his lads-in-waiting, he has a few ladies following behind, and that’s how a king should be. we always saw the royal kids isolated (joff, tommen, rhaenyra only had alicent) when in reality most important people will have a flock of people accompanying them every day.

now that’s what i’m talking about. larys is all about being subtle, honey trapping his way to power. that’s how the game of thrones is played. while aegon will not agree with him just like that (because larys gives him the oogies), i’m sure he will remember larys’ words.

‘as viserys wished’ oh don’t speak of him fuck what he wants

an ally would not sit there and cut her legs at the table of men? girl you do that yourself

alicent, the problem is not otto undermining you, is both of you yapping about shit aegon and aemond not care about and winning empty victories lol

aegon will probably forget about jerard next episode, but will not forget feeling his wings being cut by otto. aemond remained in the council room but will remember alicent wanting him gone.

i wish alicent and otto believed more on their kids/grandkids

mysaria apparition yay

‘you speak of highborn games, i am common born’ tell him girl

daemon don’t put your hands on women challenge: impossible

chemistry with mysaria? uuuuh

i love how everyone reminds erryk of arryk like ‘ayo where ur bro at?’ a matching set is not matching, it’s giving the parent trap

‘i want aemond targaryen’ okay at least she knows who to blame. i want to see more of vengeful rhaenyra, let women be mad

daemon going for aemond instead of for jaehaerys is such a cheap move smh, whitewashing at its finest

jaecarys and rhaenyra :(

is it too insensitive to say that jace’s hair looks great? you’re serving cunt? your brother just died and you’re serving cunt?

ow alerie florent :((((

FUCK VISERYS TARGARYEN

i really like the symbolic funeral. that shot of rhaena crying over the fire? chills

is it me or they changed joffrey’s actor? idk

uuuuh alicent idk if that’s empathy or weakness 🙃

once again i don’t think it’s neat that they show blood being a normal goldcloak. he was discharged dishonorably for femicide. be honest

cheese’s actor kinda looks like joaquin phoenix

‘i want aemond targaryen’ i hate this fucking show.

ROSBY AND STOKEWORTH MENTION LETS GOOO

criston agreeing with aemond in private but backing alicent in public is the medieval version of ‘yea kid ur right but i don’t wanna fight with your mom’

criston looks so tired :(

‘her grace speaks with two tongues’ SAY YOUR TRUTH AEMOND

it is vain to try and blame aemond for starting the war when the war was brewing since before he was born. rhaenyra wouldn’t give up her claim, daemon wouldn’t accept it. if rhaenyra ascended, the targtowers die. there’s not another version of this story

‘she holds love for our enemy, that makes her a fool’ that makes her a traitor. especially after the events of tonight. do we think rhaenyra has a designated green supporter that tries to get her to the green’s side? why would the greens have a rhaenyra cheerleader then?

gods forbid something happens and otto is not there 🙄 control freak

i like how they’re making aemond more rage-filled. careful ewan your book!aemond is showing

‘aegon the strong’ ‘my nephews have already taken that one’ but egg 💀💀💀

i really love how aegon has his court. he’s protected by the throne’s swords AND his homies got his back

the true king can sit however he likes. he lounges on the swords and they’re as soft as pillows to him. pretenders can’t relate.

in a deeper level, it shows how he’s comfortable both in the throne and surrounded by people. he has high trust. kinghood is a tool he doesn’t have any training on but he holds it like a natural

aegon truly trusts aemond. i love that for them. if they make aemond to be treacherous i’ll cry

AEGON THE DRAGONCOCK 🐲 rip leon estermont you would’ve loved shitposting

also why the ratcatchers are just walking around the keep? are they in the tunnels or in plain sight?

the kick to the doggie :( i really hope they didn’t really kick a dog for that

unrelated but i really need the rats around the red keep to mean something like larys skinchanging into them. they can’t be a red herring or just blood and cheese. they have too many shots

again, why are they out and about? isn’t it weird to see dudes in the middle of the night?

helaena’s maid looks like emma stone and she has really good eyebrows. i’m pretty sure she knows something (larys agent ofc)

how do we go from searching for aemond to threatening helaena? whyyyyyyy

oh right we had to blame the smallfolk for being soooo greedy and wicked and stupid that you tell them kill a great warrior and they kill a baby. because daemon can’t ever order a baby killed amiright?

the little beds noooooo :( baby jaehaerys

okay i was expecting more of helaena. in the books she’s described as pleading, begging, crying and so on. phia is killing it with the eye expressions but she looks stiff in comparison with only her necklace. even trying to bargain more (my husband can give you everything and more), some more tears, some stuttering would fit show!helaena’s too. that’s on the directors tho

i also dislike the choice that anyone can just barge in the room, literally they had to make the castle desert instead of blood and cheese waiting for hel in alicent’s rooms. i know someone is going to make the point of ‘why didn’t helaena scream or run?’ and yes partly. guess we had to slander alicent in another way right?

but alas, i am thankful that a prediction of the scene didn’t came true: no children being forcefully stripped. that would’ve sent me over the edge. they implied it but no child actors were harmed in this episode

omg the sounds of the head cutting and jaehaerys’ muffled sounds i wanna cry

helaena is so lost and the castle is a maze and nobody’s there and she’s lost lost lost and running with jaehaera i can’t

did she saw a vision there? when she stopped and went to alicent’s room

imagine going to comfort for your mom and she’s at it

‘return to your post lord commander’ why didn’t you criston? 🙃

also it didn’t pass me by that aegon has THREE kingsguards in addition to his four homies and his own sword. helaena had none. even if he was off duty and he’s sworn to alicent and not helaena, the lord commander is not commanding

THREE maids at the start of the episode doing absolutely nothing and none here? i’m so mad

‘they killed the boy’ :(((((

also why is helaena so disconnected? like why is she ‘able’ or is she in shock? i hope if they don’t make her go insane with pain like in the book she gets a revenge arc where she goes on dreamfyre, she deserves it.

i hope aegon kills them all.