#LOL OKAY FOCUS

[bf-rally]

the eating/merge thing for the player's boyfriends was stuck in my head all day

[ashes-in-a-jar]

I haven't thought much about Jonathan Sims for long enough that I kinda feel like I've started thinking about him a little more divorced of the emotional attachment I might have had once. Because I just saw a post lamenting his slow descent into inhumanity and losing his identity, becoming the archivist rather than Jonathan Sims, losing his friends, his house, everything he loves.

But is that true? That put upon head archivist persona he had in the beginning, was that really him? The way I see it, real life has already leached him of any identity he might have had, he didn't really have friends, Tim and Sasha clearly weren't, as we saw in their season 5 recording. He chose to make them his subordinates over beib friends, pushed away Georgie, he became so desperate for approval that he agreed to take a job he clearly has no idea how to do, let his stress over it isolate him from everyone around him, had a desperate need to assert himself in the beginning of every recording as 'head archivist of the Magnus institute london'. Forget about even having a home, he often slept in his office for heaven's sake.

The way I see it, this story is about him finding himself, finding the perfect place for himself in this already doomed world that was already strangling him and everyone around him. He became the Archivist, no longer needing to connect himself to some godforsaken capitalistic institute to identify himself. found his role, he enjoyed its power, even admitted to it. He found love. He found purpose in trying to save the world. In the end he was surrounded with the friends he made along the way (as friendly as they could be under the circumstances). He was finally allowed to make real choices, have true responsibility over himself and not be some tired corporate worker, part of a tired pointless system. Sure his choices weren't that great, and getting there was through outside manipulation and his own ignorance and he had to suffer immensely and pay an awful price of what we like to call his "humanity" but he Became and found what we all look for - his calling.

"It's still me" he says in the last episode. Because he is. He lost nothing and gained everything. Even dying in his lover's arms.

Forget about being human. In the end Jon achieves apotheosis and truly becomes Jonathan Sims

[valentjin]

charm point: his nose scrunches :)

[asharaks]

something else that grates on me about taash's writing is the.....casual cruelty they talk to everyone else with. they mock bellara's gods and religion as sordid and petty; they accuse neve of performativity, of shallowness; they treat rook like an idiot, unavoidably; they are sharply disrespectful of emmrich, and only apologise when pushed (and this is the only time the game even has them apologise! notably, to the white man-) to by rook. I wouldn't hate this abrasiveness as a character choice, if we were given the option to push back against it, if it was shown to be a flaw - youthful bravado, defensiveness, preemtive responses to what they assume people will say to them.

instead, they're coddled, treated as innocent of harm: neve mothers them through their feelings, rook holds their hand as they lash out, we have to therapy-speak them through their feelings about death magic, and most notably to me, bellara's gentle request for them to be respectful in the way they talk about her gods, fallen or not, is rejected, and rook has the "funny"" option to get on board with the degradation. it's just another facet of weekes' writing, where shitting on the indigenous religion is made retroactively acceptable because they're evil and always have been, where being blunt is the same as being rude and pushing back against it makes you just another regressive parent figure trying to tell them who to be, where the context makes any and all interpersonal cruelty acceptable but only if it comes from the Right person.

[moonsbijou]

i was reborn as the disposable black girlfriend of the male lead but i am taking control of the narrative now

[fitzselfships]

That moment when your partner is a funny little puppy who likes being held :3

Proshippers/adjacent dni. 100000 shark attack 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈 also Zooble self ship doubles dni

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Evolving Truth of Ever-Stronger Will

YA contemporary in 2nd person

a teen’s abusive mother dies and they have to figure out how to heal and survive the final year before they turn 18 to stay out of the foster system, without CPS finding out

when they’re cleaning out their mother’s room, they find letters from their old foster parent who was planning on adopting them before their mother claimed them back - who is still searching for them, and they’re desperate to find her again

autistic, agender, demiromantic acespec MC, genderfluid love interest, SC with tourette’s

[tetzoro]

hiya friendz !! happy monday lovelies !! i’m buzzing in to wish you all the best week ahead and giving you guys big big hugs !! i will be on a hiatus for a little while. see you soon 🤍 take care of yourselves & each other ! ✨

[codgod]

snooork mimimimi

[naffeclipse]

I really need to revamp my aliens au because I stole so many concepts from that AU and shoved them into CS as I had written the initial Aliens post a bit before CS was created. Now I want to make it fresh but still creature-feature with the boys—just Alien Edition™

Just to list off a few things I originally envisioned for this AU:

Sun and Moon can hear heartbeats. Specifically hear, unlike the cryptid boys who have a whole sense for it, but nonetheless, the whole heart awareness started here. I'm thinking of maybe changing this to Alien!Sun/Moon picking up on Y/N's breathing or scrapping it entirely.

Y/N is enthusiastic and wants to study the boys. I think Scientist Y/N can bypass the whole fear thing pretty easily and go straight to nerding out, whereas CS!Y/N is very much in denial about their excitement, and rationalizes it as 'for the hunt'. I think I can make it interesting via scientist Y/N for the Aliens AU even if it's still a concept of 'wants to learn about an intriguing subject that now involves the boys'. Just different flavors.

Sun/Moon eating very unpleasant things. Of course, cryptid boys eat hearts, but the alien boys are just hungry for any kind of meat, and hey, with a desolate and dark ship filled with recently slaughtered humans, it's kind of an all-you-can-eat buffet.

That's the summary of concept similarities, but I do want to focus on the difference, such as, of course:

there being two alien creatures.

how different everything will function in a setting within space/spaceship.

a language barrier between scientist Y/N, and Sun and Moon.

a focus on Y/N's physical trauma with their blown-off arm. They're going to want to make the journey through the desolate spaceship to retrieve said arm that has been preserved and then need to get to the medical bay (think protective cylinder) to hopefully have the ship's installed medical AI and tools perform surgery to reattach it, which is a big risk when there's something else roaming the gray halls that even intimidating and powerful aliens Sun and Moon would rather Y/N doesn't encounter.

Sun and Moon also have their own designs and special abilities relating to their celestial themes as well as indulging in freaky monster details, like Moon's 'nightcap'. It is extremely long and acts as a sensitive feeler for things in the air and is somewhat prehensile. Sun's sun rays have more purpose than just being pointy and armor-plate-like, as well as having those same plates on his spine, and he almost seems to be on the brink of being too hot, sometimes radiating heatwaves like an oven.

their alien design is a mix of translucent, starry, and colored flesh, almost like jelly but smooth and slightly cool and moist to the touch, coating the bones of Fazco brand endoskeletons.

their legs are digitigrade.

their mouths are wide and look like they're smiling all the time, but their mouths can get bigger and open even wider, especially when they're eating/attacking—it's as if their entire face is going to split in half but nope, that's just to let out their other teeth.

That's all I have for now. I want to think about it some more.

[hplonesomeart]

Hey!! So turns out a video I made between a certain “well beloved but highly sensitive/emotionally reactive T.V” and an “orange haired inkling-turned-human” has managed to sweep my YouTube channel and accumulate 100k VIEWS!! THAT’S A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY?? My most widely viewed video EVER to exist in this moment in time?? AAAAA?? Not even mentioning the various comments and staggering increase in subs! It’s so much more then what I expected or even prepared for—might even be the most impactful thing to happen for me this year <3

…aside from graduating high school + the social connections I’ve been fortunate to make lol

BUT THE POINT IS I’d been closely monitoring the YouTube growth through the entirety of October. It’s make me smile like a dork, gawk in astonishment, dance frantically in my room from the energy boosts, and grow courage to stop being so selective/self-conscious with what I wish to share with the world! It’s kept my ambitions going!

I needed to find some way to celebrate the occasion and express my thanks—because I can’t NOT acknowledge this milestone jksjskp. Typically I try to avoid getting tunnel visioned focusing on the metrics/numbers. Mr. Puzzles had already demonstrated how much those things can mess with the minds of creatives. Caring too much about chasing views or placing your artistic value in attention seeking gets damaging. But at same time…it’s hard to deny the sense of pride the 100k achievement has filled me with. I understand that reaching 100k views doesn’t immediately make me any “better” or “worse” then I was before. I’m still just me! It only helps me feel seen by others—and that’s all I really needed. To hear some nice words & receive reminders that my ideas are cared about. So thank you SMG4 fandom for that, seriously thank you.

Please accept this Mr. Puzzle drawing as a way of sharing the happiness around. He’s so entertaining. Love him for simply existing. So glad we can all collectively be super attached to him (and the rest of the SMG4 cast of course). Can’t wait to see more incredible artworks from the fandom :)

Just incase anyone is confused by my vague description over which “animated video” I’m referring to here—hopefully this photo will help clarify lol. It’s this one!! Sorry about not outright stating the title at the start, I got carried away with writing!!

I’ve been in an odd place mentally when thinking about it. Wondering to myself if any of the attention is deserved considering it’s not even fully colored and could be dismissed as “low effort” content (despite taking several days making it). It’s easy to get into a trap of comparing yourself to others and questioning how much of the videos success is based on your skills, sheer algorithm luck, or only because you used popular characters and catered to a specific fandom. And then judging yourself by looking at other peoples videos. I’ve seen several artists post higher quality works then my own but it somehow gets less views. So why did mine succeed when others (who should have gotten just as much attention if not more) didn’t? Sometimes you feel like you’ve unfairly robbed them of that chance to be seen. However I’ve realized that I can’t ever expect views to be consistent—and comparing is pointless. So why worry about it or feel inadequate? I mean it’s pretty common for funny cat videos to go viral, so who am I to question the system lol. “Popular” YouTube videos can range from a passion project which took 7+ artists…to a clip of Toad singing Chandelier or a nonsensical Vine sketch. Anything can happen when it’s the internet! And just-so-happened my video was chosen. I should stay glad about that and get rid of all the overanalyzing. So that’s what I’ve chosen to do :)

[strawberriesinmoominvalley]

maybe i need to write a landoscar kid fic at this rate

[coyotesinew]

Some recent thoughts about nonhumanity and my relationship to the community + my personal relationship with it that I cleaned up, my writing style is a bit disjointed, I would like to share more of my writing, if anyone would be interested in seeing that :)

[anders-holmvik]

something something noodling on buck and eddie and forced boundaries. this is word salad btw with no real argument but hopefully its a side that not too many people have written. (written before 8x03-06 airing. so if im completely wrong there will be egg on my face and that is okay because almost nothing is unequivocally true in creative media analysis world.) and also this is super long sorry

i keep thinking about the way they merge buck and eddie's storylines in 7x05, not just on screen in their encounter at the restaurant, but thematically.

first, a really important part of the buck and eddie dynamic is that the two are having an intense emotional affair, and have been since season 3. but, they've always operated across the lines of plausible deniability and they're both likely oblivious to this. they're both "straight." so, anything they do can be chalked up to normalbestfriendbehavior, because there's no way they'd ever physically cheat with each other. they both consider that to be the threshold for cheating, as evidenced by buck and eddie's agreeance that he is not cheating on marisol with kim because they haven't had sex.

7x05 is titled "you don't know me," and that's the central theme for everyone. the episode is mostly about hen and karen, but also continues to weave buck, eddie, and tommy together.

there's the "eddie doesn't know about buck's sexuality exploration and buck feels guilty about this" aspect, but this applies to eddie's solo storyline too.

eddie finds out that marisol used to be a nun. he claims that this has unearthed his catholic guilt, but we know that it never really went away for him, it just became easier for him to repress himself. eddie, even though he claims to not be actively a believer, knows that he is lying to himself about being into marisol, and thinks that god has sent him a reminder that he's watching him. even if he doesn't consciously understand that it's because he's not into women as a whole, he realized his tendency to stay in relationships where he's not happy from his breakup with ana. so he Has to know that he's not genuinely in it. this is also why buck's pointing out that she voluntarily left the convent doesn't bring him any comfort- because he's already decided that marisol is a direct link to god and His disappointment in eddie (as evidenced by his vision of marisol as the virgin mary)

eddie can't have sex with her anymore, the one activity that, to him, proves he's at least attracted to his partner. he's fully prepared to break up with marisol over this, and even hides out at buck's.

buck doesn't realize this at the time because he's too focused on his own guilt, but eddie is looking for his approval to break up with marisol. eddie always does what buck thinks is best for him. he makes the excuse that it's because they're best friends and he trusts his opinion, but i think he knows there's something more to it.

but buck can't give him his approval. because buck cannot fathom that eddie is offering himself up because the idea of marisol is standing between them. the two of them are similar in this way, and that's why they're so fascinating: they're both extremely passive in their romantic pursuits because they lack 1. self esteem and 2. awareness to pursue what they actually want. buck because of his childhood/past relationships and eddie because of his upbringing/grief/repression

buck (and also eddie, but specifically buck) is a huge flirt. however, he'll rarely cross the boundary of platonic activity before the other person does (i genuinely think the last time was abby, but that was his first relationship so its weird hybrid of active and passive tendencies).

he'll flirt and flirt until the other person makes a move, i.e. asking him out or kissing him. he wants them to prove they're choosing him. once they do, he clings. they broke this pattern with his breakup from taylor (even though i consider that a special circumstance) and natalia by having buck leave them, but T may be a return to form. more on that later...

eddie offers himself to buck by letting him choose if he should break up with marisol. buck is oblivious to it because he's too focused on his own guilt of keeping a part of himself "unknown" from eddie. buck confesses about tommy. eddie does not comment on buck's sexuality, he is only surprised at tommy's. buck looks for reassurance there: is it weird that i was on a date with a man? eddie, in his attempt to offer comfort, re-draws the line between them: "this doesn't change a thing between us." what he means is that he's not weirded out, but what buck hears is "i'm straight, so don't even try it."

so, when eddie, who is subconsciously looking for buck to step over the line, asks him about what he thinks he should do, buck doubles down on wanting tommy. eddie, hearing the message, encourages buck to try again. eddie goes home and hits the restart button on his relationship with marisol. he convinces himself that maybe if they start over, it'll work this time.

he tells her that he feels like he doesn't know her well and that they moved too fast. normally, people in this type of situation would just move on and find someone else. but instead, eddie is desperate to stay in this relationship with marisol because buck has stepped over the line of plausible deniability in their relationship, and drawn a new one. buck is officially attracted to men. if eddie's relationship falls apart and buck is not with someone else, the lines start to blur.

later, buck and T get coffee. tommy points out that the two of them don't know anything about each other. they agree to start their relationship and do it "right." the same way eddie and marisol agree to reset theirs.

and the two of them cling to these relationships. marisol ends her and eddie's relationship after finding out about kim. buck remains with tommy despite awkward dates, likely because he is also excited to explore himself (as he is one to do) but also likely because he walked close to that line when he came out to eddie, and felt like he was pushed back.

but i think the sentiment of "you don't know me" really applies for buck and T's relationship as a whole. again, they started with buck flirting and toeing the line until T stepped over it by kissing him, then asking him out.

there's a whole lot of discourse on here and twitter about t's awkward flirting, flippant attitude, and dismissive comments. the thing about this is, likely none of it is tommy purposely trying to hurt buck. tommy does not know buck. he doesn't know that these are things that he is sensitive about, or that hurts him. and buck doesn't communicate when he's uncomfortable. he just internalizes it and focuses on trying to make his partners stay. and tommy will not know buck. buck ingratiates tommy in his life by inviting him to family events, but he doesn't actually open up to tommy or tell him when he's misreading him. it gives both of them a sense of false intimacy.

they're three months in at least, and tommy and buck are still, as oliver said, "getting to know each other." but they both agreed to "get to know each other" and go for it at their coffee date, and here they are months later. not having moved... i hope that holding back his own baggage is going to bite buck in the ass just as much as tommy's past is.

(and by god i hope it is tommy's racist past that gets revealed because FUCK him. but based on what oliver said about buck weighing if he should make it work im not sure they're going to address it. bc if buck found that out i do think he'd end the relationship w little/no debate)

but this is all very interesting to me.. personally i want to see buck explore his sexuality on his own for a little because i think it would be beautiful and he deserves that but i do think he is going to be a little desperate to stay in this relationship if they don't go the gerrard/tommy past route.. but god buck and eddie are so awesomely freakish about each other sometimes

[weaksspot]

does anyone have any samdean + cas/wincestiel fic recs <3