#LMAO damn guess we gotta kill a man for this guy

[theglowafterdark]

Ok fellas. We need to cooperative to get Swerve, ambush him and let Hangman love ... no, attack, attack him. (Yes. Sure.) Raise your hand if you are ready. I am.

Damn I guess we jumping swerve at midnight gang

[callmearcturus]

Mission Impossible: a Crazed Ramble by tentacledwizard

Re my mission impossible ask: gonna share my thoughts bc I just finished watching the series (sans 2 and 3) and boy do I have Thoughts. I think I’ll cover the ones I’m most interested in (Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation, and Fallout) though I might ramble at u about 1 and 7 later lmao. So okay here we go

Ghost Protocol. I REALLY liked this one. This is 2nd on my ranking of MI movies.

This movie has the best team vibes. Might be my favorite iteration of The Team, even if Luther isn’t really there. I just got really emotionally attached to these guys and their interactions lmao..

I liked Brandt. Jeremy Renner didn’t have to do some heavy-duty acting for this role, and he didn’t. His role was to be small and cute and tormented, and it worked. So well that I mumbled “where is my wife” when I watched Fallout, and my brother looked at me strangely. 

Jane Carter holy moly. Dude you were NOT kidding about Jane Carter. I love her so much. I love how she’s not even slightly the love interest, how her and Ethan’s interactions have this respect and camaraderie, and even when they kiss it’s not romantic. It’s great. Loved how she got the dudely “gotta avenge my dead wife” backstory with her boyfriend getting killed, and how that propels her most ruthless actions. I guess I’m pretty much agreeing with everything you’ve said about Jane lmao. SHE’S GREAT. Also loved it when she fought Léa Seydoux, it was pretty cathartic. Let female characters be driven and reckless and (eyes Rose Lalonde pfp) yeah

Benji Dunn the man that you are. Okay I’d say that Benji is at his best in the next movie, but this is a damn good introduction. He’s newly promoted, a little bit out of his depth, and I’m a sucker for funny nerdy sidekicks okay. Gonna talk about him some more when I get to Rogue Nation probably.

Ethan Hunt has the best haircut in this film. Idk man that’s my Ethan Hunt commentary. Oh wait it was also funny when he wore the mustache

I GOT ALL FLUSTERED WHEN LÉA SEYDOUX WAS ON SCREEN. I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS. HOW PECULIAR

Didn’t watch 2 and 3, so the brief glimpse of Julia was very intriguing and bittersweet. Then of course in Fallout she Julias all over the place!

OKAY NOW I CAN TALK ABOUT THE BURJ KHALIFA

I’ve actually seen the Burj Khalifa irl and it is SO TALL (I know, very surprising) so I cannot wrap my head around the fact that this scene was shot on location (??) I need to look into that more.

I am a dork and I do not know much about how stunts and action scenes are calibrated, hence the sheer delight I derived from the way the camera moves in the Burj Khalifa scenes. Also my hands got really sweaty during the first half. (The “blue is glue, red is dead” part reminded me of “hasta lasagna don’t get any on ya” IDK MAN)

I spent the wall-climbing section gazing at the TV rapturously and occasionally mumbling “uh oh,” “Ethan Hunt: Human Gecko” or “the climberrrr” alternately. I literally was not hearing myself because I was watching so intently. My breath was BATED lmao.

And like I’d seen the gif sets, I knew he was gonna jump but I didn’t know when. So when Ethan does jump, it’s so sudden that you can’t help but go :O !! And it works. Anddd that’s my favorite stunt in the film (i am an easily impressed nerd with no technical knowledge but i AM dying on this hill. The Burj jump would impress ANYONE and for good reason)

I am replaying this scene in my head over and over. It’s just. It’s so good. My reaction to it reminded me of when I watched [S] Descend and it just Worked and I was amazed. To say nothing of Cascade lmao. Actually yeah this kind of is Cascade in a sense

I'm sure none of this commentary  is really original, but I really love it when Tom Cruise does a big jump heh. I am a simple man

So yeah this film is easily my 2nd favorite. It’s character-driven, there’s comedy elements, the way the team interacts and collides and argues with each other is wonderful. And I believe in Jane Carter supremacy.  

Oh yeah, Bogdan was funny too. So many good + funny moments here :D

Wait how could I forget the best character (the Russian man who has an enemies-to-friends arc with Ethan)? Love that guy.

OKAY this is too long so Im gonna separate this into 2 parts.

they sent three asks and then I responded, we're gonna use a cut here, LONG POST!!!!!

@tentacledwizard PART 2.

Rogue Nation. This one’s my favorite! I like how it begins not with Ethan but with the Team, because their interactions are good. And of course Ethan’s trying to jump on a plane. Just another Saturday.

I am not very good at talking about plot so let’s talk about Benji Dunn

ok wait first I gotta say that I like how they played with the usual IMF message. The “we ARE the syndicate” got me. Really good moment, and I bet if I rewatched it I’d catch all the little details that made me suspicious of whoever was talking. 

Anyway Benji Dunn.. the man that you are…

Like I said, Benji is at his best in this movie. There’s so many little moments that cement his greatness. He’s gaming on company time! He lies about not being Ethan’s friend on a daily basis :( also the sincere dorky smile he does on his way to the opera is so wonderful. 

I really like how sincere Benji is. He’s genuinely looking forward to the opera, and he’s eager to wear a mask someday, and he cares about Ethan so much. Yeah he’s a funny little British man but he’s also v sweet and you can see why Ethan goes crazy and kidnaps the prime minister to get him back. 

speaking of, I really think that Benji and Ethan’s relationship is… if not the core of the movie, it’s definitely a major part of that core. Does that make sense? Like, I tried to take a picture of the screen every time Ethan and Benji glanced at each other knowingly, and I ended up with a lot of pictures. Even with the 6-month separation (Ethan with a beard is something I never thought I’d see), they know each other. Ethan knows Benji wants to see the opera, and Benji will yell at Ethan when Ethan needs to be yelled at. Ethan compliments Benji’s tuxedo (as he should).

Also ffffuck whenever these guys worry about each other… like when Benji tells Ethan he’s probably going to take it too far one of these days.. Man. The scene where Ethan washes out of the giant torus with Ilsa and Benji goes to talk to him is so good.

oh and yeah Ethan did kidnap the prime minister. For benji. HE DID THAT!!!

Also the scene where Benji is forced to speak for Solomon was honestly incredible, it was like Ethan and Benji were having their own separate conversation with eye contact. When Ethan briefly put his hand on Benji’s shoulder, maybe to reassure him without having to talk, and Benji glances up at him… that’s good stuff right there. When Benji was finally able to talk it was cathartic. God I love these two

Plus the opera fight scene is so fun oh my god.

ok let’s talk about my queen Ilsa Faust

Ilsa Faust is great, and I really like how this series does female characters. Because she has her own shit going on, there’s a bit of romance between her and Ethan but they’re both agents with missions, and she’s never sexualized. I love that. Her signature move is filmed the way a male character would be filmed if he were fighting. That’s awesome.

I really loved Rebecca Ferguson’s performance here, the conflict between saving others and saving herself was neat. It’s also interesting how she has way less reservations about killing people, which plays off Ethan’s… everything. And she never makes it easy for Ethan, which I’d honestly do too if I was involved in the shit she has to deal with. 

But of course there are moments that show she does care about him (asking him to run away, the scene where she saves him in the underwater whirly spinner). The hug was pretty sweet.

Also, Ilsa is when I started really paying attention to the outfits in MI, because all of her looks were great. The yellow dress is iconic, and I REALLY liked the pleated coat she wears when talking to Solomon Lane. Plus the suit she wears in Fallout is Good.

Solomon Lane is a good villain. Jim is the MI villain I think of when I think of MI villains, but Solomon is very distinctive. I mean that voice, man. The VOICE. Lmao. He kind of reminded me of a parasitic worm made human, which is a 100% good thing.

So who has the more distinctive and weird voice? Solomon or Claire? That is the question. (I think it’s Claire tbh. Four am, four in the morning, four o clock)

So this is my favorite MI film. It’s fun, it has a good villain. We see Ethan’s personality start to shine through, too- he’s emotionally driven, as evidenced by when he fucking DOES ALL THAT TO SAVE BENJI GOD I LOVE THESE TWO. So yeah, this is the Ethan and Benji movie to me. It’s also a stellar debut for Ilsa Faust… wait what do you mean she gets fridged in the 7th movie. What do you mean

OH Jeremy Renner is still here! And more Luther! Hell yeah.

really want to rewatch this one so I can take more notes on the stunts and stuff, too

Ok time to make a part 3 because this is ridiculously long

PART 3

Fallout. Oh man. This one messed me up. 

So from the start, Fallout is a darker, queasier watch than the previous two. The more I watched, the more I realized that this movie Is Ethan Hunt’s Nightmare.

Like there’s the straightforward nightmare at the beginning, and then the film just Doesn’t Stop. It keeps messing with our minds again and again. 

This is the Ethan Hunt movie. This is our deep dive into Ethan Hunt’s mind, and at some points it kind of feels like a test of how well we know him- because he wouldn’t kill all those people, so this must be another nightmare, right? 

I am used to vivid nightmares, and this film perfectly captures the sheer horror of having one. And I was constantly doubting my own perception, bouncing between bad dream and reality along with Ethan. Man.

Like Mission Impossible has always kind of had that element, what with the masks and everything, but this film dials it up to eleven. I recognized the horror of Ethan’s situation here, and it was a feeling that stayed with me the entire time.

I mean at some points, it gets surreal. The line about Ethan literally being his own worst enemy (it’s true!), his wife showing up in little glimpses until she finally appears, Lane pinpointing Ethan’s fears, etc. When Ethan looks around at the church and says he’s terribly sorry, it’s such a small moment but it’s still kind of a gut punch. Ethan Hunt is trapped in his brain and so are we.

Even the title sequence shows everything burning around Ethan. The full theme song sounds like it’s going to end, but then it keeps going. This movie feels way more apocalyptic than any of the others.

Even Max is dead. I mean come on.

And we see how this screws up Ethan’s judgment, how his priorities are a little fucked in the grand scheme of things. He puts a few people over millions, for better or for worse.

Ethan Hunt running is an iconic part of the franchise, but what happens when all the messed-up stuff he went through catches up with him? What about the fallout?

So when the ending rolls around, it feels like Ethan is waking up, and that lends it a certain catharsis. But the uneasiness of most of the movie still stuck with me for a long time afterward.

Okay let’s talk about the new characters.

Alanna was neat, and I liked her outfits too. Though every time she flirted with Ethan, I had this vivid mental image of Ethan driving up and yelling “I fucked your mom, shit lips!” Probably something he’d say to Zola instead though.

Walker was such an asshole and that was kind of great actually. Not a single redeeming quality to be found. Have fun falling off that cliff, johnny boy.

Oh yeah and he got to say the only “fuck” in the entire series I believe. (It should have been Ethan. Well I can always hope.)

That conversation Ethan and Benji have about how Ethan won’t let anything happen to him, but then later Ethan does something that seems to put Benji in danger (making him be Solomon Lane)? Chef’s kiss. Also Benji FINALLY got to wear the mask, and he’s damn good at it.

More of Ilsa and Ethan’s relationship and man is it complicated haha. I like the scene where they’re walking through a symmetrical landscape, just paralleling each other, until finally they’re face to face. That’s good stuff right there. Also the scene where he’s in the hospital bed was sweet.

My wife [Brandt] is not here but luckily we get a lot of Luther. Luther is the constant in this series- he’s stuck with Ethan from the beginning, for better or for worse. (Better, because he’s a good character). So Luther really cares about Ethan, evidenced by his conversation with Ilsa. He probably knows Ethan better than anyone, except maybe Julia but then again she and Ethan have been apart for a while. 

Julia was great. The scenes with her and Ethan were v bittersweet. They still care about each other (just look at Ethan’s constant guilt over not protecting her), but she’s living her own life now. The conversation they had near the end was the culmination of all this, the moment we were waiting for. Plus I enjoyed her friendship with Luther, like I enjoyed Ilsa and Benji’s friendship. The scene where they’re cutting the wires/talking about Ethan was cute.

as for the stunts, hmm… I didn't really get the level of physicality I got from, say, MI1 or Ghost Protocol. Idk man maybe I’m just biased against helicopters?

ALSO I really like Face/Off and Hit Man so the John Lark thing was p cool to me. Ofc John was the asshole CIA agent though.

Anyway good movie, might take some time before I can rewatch it but it’s a masterful delve into Ethan Hunt’s mind. Not my favorite but also really really good and I wrote the most about it.

Conclusion. Wow that’s a lot of thoughts. Probably too many to put in one ask. Uh I kind of also want to talk about MI1 and Dead Reckoning as an echo of MI1 but this was a lot so idk if you’d want me to do that lmao. Anyway I have to thank you for convincing me to watch Mission Impossible all those months ago, because it is one of my obsessions now. (If you read all this I am sorry lmao, hope it wasn’t boring tho) 

And now I can finally read your Benthan fic! 8D hell yeah.

okay now it is my turn to reply

I frankly adore Brandt. I've joked to Brandt that I don't really ship Benthan, I just use it as a vehicle to write William Brandt and have him tell jokes. I adore his angry little bureaucratic ass. I am actually a fan of Renner when the material gives him actual shit he can do. Like, he was fucking WASTED in the MCU and the "Hawkeye" miniseries proves he could have been having fun this entire fucking time but they never GAVE him anything. And even if his role in MI is simple, McQuarrie is so damn good at writing characters that Brandt feels vibrant. In GP he goes from sad sweater boy to lowkey the weakest link of the team but everyone is there to help him. And in RN there's a THOUSAND lil moments I love with him. I always point to Benji's interrogation scene, there's a VERY VERY PRECISE bit of editing where Benji is going off on a tirade about how the CIA sucks, and the camera lingers on Brandt LITERALLY JUST LONG ENOUGH for Renner's mouth to make this tiny microexpression, like TWO FRAMES of Brandt indulging in admiring Benji's lie-craft.

Also the argument in the bigass car with Luther was Renner improvising according to McQ. Love it. Brandt's my angry little pencil-pushing angel. Any time he shows up in the PT AU, I'm 😍😍😍

GP lives and dies on the team dynamic tbh, which I find hilarious bc imo MI3 was pronounced dead on arrival bc the team dynamic is non-existent and like, why am I even here???? the chemistry is truly batshit.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE ALL THE TRULY MIND-BOGGLING FACTS BEHIND THE BURJ CLIMB AND HOW TERRIFYINGLY PRACTICAL IT WAS check out this post

Also Ethan's gorgeous LEAP at the end of the sequence is my second-fave Physicality Moment in that movie. The first is of course Ethan's silent vault over the railing after he leaves his prison cell. I'm a slut.

and I bet if I rewatched it I’d catch all the little details that made me suspicious of whoever was talking.

oh you want a fun one? in the record shop, there are two listening booths. ethan goes into the one on the left.

Solomon Lane is sitting in the one on the right.

re: Benji in Rogue Nation, I mean McQuarrie himself has said Simon Pegg as Benji Dunn is the beating heart and soul of the Mission franchise. so don't worry, we ALL stan.

ILSA FUCKING FAUST. /fans face. Yeah, the way MI handles women is like… I don't know how to go back to, like, James Bond films. I keep remembering Skyfall (which I remember as a good movie) and how one of the ~bond girls~ is casually executed and the whole point is how unfazed everyone is, how DISPOSABLE she is, how James Bond as a franchise wants backpats for pointing out "man it sure sucks how disposable women are in these spy flicks huh"

smash cut to Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation, Fallout, and ESPECIALLY Dead Reckoning.

I keep saying this but MI manages to pull off the Metal Gear thing in that the Male Gaze of the camera is thoroughly bisexual. Long before we see Ilsa's amazing leg shot at the opera, we get a long lingering shot of Ethan's tiddies, and the way he's held captive is very female-coded, the position, the way he tries to wile his way out of it, the barefoot thing, all of it. There's such intense intentionality with how MI frames bodies.

Hell, I've been flicking between MI and the X-Men AU movies and comparing Ilsa to Mystique is super interesting because both of them fight with their legs-first. But the choreography of Mystique always has this "heh heh heh naked legg" feeling, while with Ilsa, her fighting style is so consistent, it feels like a natural result of her build and how she utilizes momentum. I remember there's a fast moment in Fallout where she very casually assists Ethan by taking out a guard as he extracts Alanna, and she does her leg flip thing. It feels Correct for her, rather than the MCU "make sure you fight pretty" bullshit.

Anyway I love Ilsa but Benji is actually the Love Interest in RN and we all know it.

"wait what do you mean she gets fridged in the 7th movie" SHE DOES NOT GET FRIDGED i am gonna die on this fucking hill, that Ilsa's death was good and actually meant something

Anyway I cosign all your thoughts on Fallout. I think it's the best movie and frankly I think it's a cinematic masterpiece. The claustrophobia of it, the nightmare of being Ethan Hunt, the repeated use of dreamlike imagery to convey that we're falling further into that nightmare with him, AND THE ENDING. I find the ending so bittersweet because yes, Ethan and the team pull it off, they push at the edges of possibility and reason until the universe yields and gives them the win

but then Julia says "I know you'll always be there" and its like watching a door slam in Ethan's face. He's always going to be in this dream/nightmare, a world that exists one layer removed from reality, and he can't get out. It's amazing. I want to kiss McQ on the mouth.

That Ilsa-Ethan scene was not in the original script and TC suggested it day-of and they just did it and its one of the most beautiful shots of the movie, with the green trees melding with the slight green tones of Ilsa's outfit and with Ethan's eyes. The fact they have an entire conversation between Ethan and Ilsa's eyebrows. I love them.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

playboyy ep 12 stray thoughts

- “damn i hate myself” real

- first soong being cute 🥹🥹

- you know shits about to get emotional when the soundtrack switches to yoiyami

- “you called me a friend when you weren’t pretending to be nant” AND WHAT IF I LOSE MY MIND

- zouey and nont besties agenda

- OH GOD ZOUEY BACKSTORY wait noooooo

- i guess the evidence is staying hidden then like boy are they in their failvestigator era oh nvm they found something (that they already knew but still that’s more than they usually get

- promnont !!!

- hold on they finally showing zoueyteena. they can never just give a quick handy either always gotta be invoking the religious implications of a renaissance painting… good for them (yes i include the popcorn scene in this) also top zouey truthers this one was for you!!!

- what are you hiding under that tarp zouey 🤨🤨 i think it’s of nant

- hold on teena’s necklace lmao. is the t for troy no it’s for *too sleepy to finish the bit*

- NO GET A JOB!! STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!

- finna beat the shit out of jason lee give me 10 seconds i could take him out

- what does he mean by keep an eye on…

- oop that scarf zouey in his horse girl era

- THEY DOING WHAT TO WHO?!?!?

- she is not scared of them at all like two absolute kitty cats of toruturers MEKEKFKKRKRJFJFJF NOT THE DUSTERS I CANT

- the drop of sweat deserves an award for perfect timing and i’m being so serious about this

- AHH PROMNONT i can’t handle them being affectionate like it makes me lose my oh not the fuckass product placemntsjdjjdjdjrjrjjejdjr you know what i got me some promnont crumbs i’ll take it

- so i’m gonna see this scene expanded in fic later right 👀 i’ll give a million kisses to anyone who decides to do it

- they can never argue using simple sentences it’s always “i feel bad that you feel bad that i felt bad” and “im mad that you got mad that i got mad” and “if you have a problem that we have a problem than the problem is you’re invalidating my feelings” “i didn’t think you would think about me thinking” like besties….

- see but zouey was kinda right… why is he being made the bad guy, first and captain kinda pissin me off

- girl YOU got him expelled. captain needs to be fr

- NONT WITH THE BIG PANT CROPPED SHORT COMBO THATS MY MAN

- these college athletes are plain evil

- puen lowkey the only one in this show consistently talking sense. i hope he gets his licks back on these bum bitches cause i’ve had it with them

- the coloring the coloring the coloring the coloring the coloring the projection the projection the projection

- THE. HESS BOARD BEING PROJECTED PLAYBOYY SURREALISM FOR THE WON ONCE AGAIN

- captain talking big game for someone who took sneaky clips. hoping this shows growth on his part cause deep down im still rooting for him

- captain sweaty blow up the whole establishment i support you

- NO CAPTAIN THATS NOT WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO THATS VERY MUCH MOT WHAT I JUST SAID YOU LITTLE BASTARD

- ooo the outro track finally making sense!! kejrjejdnjdj

- i love the when soong carries first

- oh more food, user @jeffsatyr i’m so sorry

- firstsoong enthusiasts we are so back oh there goes firsts fuckass dad

- captain needs to stop picking fights AND CAPTAINS A YANKEES fan i can’t defend him anymore

- puen fight back!!! he was going easy on captain cause he’s a nice little boy oh shit now aobs gonna kill captain isn’t he…

- captainkeenpuen enthusiasts don’t lose hope!!! we can still win!!

- aobpuen enthusiasts were so back

- THE COLORING THE COLORING THE COLORING

- the characters and 'accurately assessing the media their in' saga continues

- porsche looks like such a baby here. jump listen to porsche pls do not see him again

- cry by johannes bornlof is playing they fr pulling out the nuthphop ballads for the other couples today

- puen is my boy and i will lay down my life for him actually

- NONT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT IM GONNA WALHAT WHAT WYHAHW ok sorry yall him with the gun did sumn to me

- nont once again will not be caught slacking holding someone at gun point be damned AND ITS CAPTAIN WITB THE STEAL POLL?!?!?!?

- nont… i need to know how he picks outfits like did he want the color to match the gun????

- nont chuckling in the corner... i fear he’s lost it

- playboyy once again with the themes of tech and privacy

- captain is lucky puen is lowkey a pacifist

- nont and captain: torturing aob and puen for info about the murder, zoueyteena: painting time !!

- oh my god yall im getting chills like fr speechless i am so…

NUTH MY BABY BOY

- nuth coming through with his amateur directorial visions let’s gooooo

- nont being like “please do a little bit of torture, just for me, please 🥺”

- he playing the funeral violin oh it’s not ending well oh god

- jason lee you will crumble i am so serious about this count your mother fucking days

- nuth scurrying away in the back… also nont where is your marksmanship now

- puen keeps suffering tremendously and he doesn’t deserve a single second of it. free my boy he fr has never done anything wrong

- i think i was right and nuths screenplay is autobiographical

- THEYRE PLAYING AMBIVRLANT THOGUHTS AGAIN NUTHPHOP PIANO BALLAD ENTHUSAISTS WE STAY WELL FED

- nuthphop my beloveds i love them so fucking much you don’t get it no wait why he deleting them oh shit ! phop play shitty games win shitty prizes dawg

- welp

yall this might be one of the strongest eps in a hot minute i loved this one had me at the edge of my seat the whole time

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena Reactions S3Ep3

We start with a dude dramatically running away from war... EW. ARES. He just keeps getting uglier

Damn strong armour. Is the armour possessing the guy?

MEDAL OF HEPHESTEUS!?

Cheerful start really

Damn they wanna hurt some guy. Was that Gabby

YEEES XENA AND GABRIELLE

Gosh Xena and Gabrielle are so gorgeous

Is she gathering criminals for a mission XD

OHHH GORGEOUS.

"I am no lady" either way gender.

Xena introducing them

"Just men?" 😂 Gabrielle asking the good questions

Going up against Ares... Blergh. Ares can go choke on his own ego.

Oof, village laid waste

The armour looks so stupid honestly...

Rude!???

Love how Xena's SWORD broke but not Gabrielle's staff 😂

Oh fuck the pretty one was hit

Oh. METAL! Not medal... Yes that makes more sense (auditory processing issues hu)

Blacksmithing fancam

Hate that pretentious guy

CALLISTO SHOUTOUTTT <3

"Wow, nice ceps!" He is GAY. He is so down to suck Ares's dick...

BOOMERANG (Sokka is foaming at the mouth in jealousy)

"Cos I'm gonna kill her" no you won't. Shut up and suck Ares's dick you war simp

Gabrielle commanding them as she should.

Boo for them ignoring her.

"Murderers guarding murderers"

"Were they murderers before they met you?" OUCH

THEY WERE LIKE ME

AAAAAAH

"Am I really who I am, or am I what you made me?"

They're playing their funny guessing game again

Jesus can these murderers CHILL

Gabrielle looking, then going NOOOPE

Please these idiots are still standing there

Ahaha they're guarding each other cos none trusts the other to not kill them

RISE AND SHINEEE

"But what are you here for?"

SO VALID. STAB THAT GUY DEAD.

"You know what men are like" lesbian

Ahaha he just fell asleep

"But you're going to buy them"

Yuck, I wouldn't wanna be stuck with that guy either

"I think I've never been part of a true disaster before" "Cynic"

URGH the sexist prick can go die in a ditch

Ew what kinda straight sex shit is this

"Men are so easy" shdhshd

Gosh he's annoying.. Why r all the men in this annoying

NOOOO HE WANTED TO HURT GABRIELLE

And he grabbed Xena...

DID SHE KILL HIM-

Oop

"That's gotta be uncomfortable" 😂

GABRIELLE MY BABYGIRL

"Is this a private get together or can anyone join in?" Oh she knooows

She's happy they're working together

AHAHA She sensed Ares

Why is Ares' beard so fucking UGLYYYY. Like it literally got worse

Ares you snitch. Why are you telling her. Bro as if THAT isn't also interfering?? 😂

Uhhhh... Whomst?

Damn they throw bombs

Gabrielle ur so amazing

Xena I love you sm

Damn. She's defyyying gravity

Mmmmm, dudebro sexist is sus af

Urgh... They tricked her...

GABBY

YUCK. DISGUSTING. I hope she gets to murder him

I love Gabby

HOLY SHIT. HER SHOVING THE OTHER WOMAN AGAINST THE WALL (Gabrielle 🤝 Jenny)

Glaphyra?

Yeah true but y'know, a bit too many men for my liking, and a whole bunch of others stand around doing nothing about it

They really just want money, hu

Is he gonna free them

Ayoooo double double crossing

Ahsdhsh she used the Doctor strategy. Get captured cos breaking out the cell is easier than breaking into the whole thing

EW. ASSAULT. DISGUSTING. Someone give her a wife

"Hey that's not how a princess fights" gosh get some perspective, man

"Amazon Princess" YOU TELL HIM

OH FUCK. GABRIELLE IS JUST SEEING XENA MURDER WITHOUT RESTRAINT

Something something the old Xena showing for a moment

"Why does everyone wanna kill me?" Honestly it's very understandable

"I'm not leaving!" "Like she said"

Ares is like lmao bye have fun dying, loser

All the steaaaam, brilliant. Gotta be pretty hot in there

YEESH That gotta hurt

Kabooooom

"Look after Xena, okay?" awwwww

"I'd sooner fall for a toad" valid

THEY'RE SO GAAAY

"You're Gabrielle" AAAAAH ❤️

"Question is who would I be without you?"

Ahaha them bickering

Ok so as a whole the episode was very, very meh. I liked the Xena/Gabrielle moments tho

[chameleon-on-lsd]

Tatort Luzern (Ihr werdet gerichtet) liveblogging

god those apartments. JESUS kudos to the fucking make up department for the gunshot wounds. like. it feels more realistic than a little red dot like other shows would do lol blame it on a zürcher ...why does that actor (of the hitman) look familiar? lmao, of course there's a sexy calendar in the autohändler office okay the wound is a big part of the episode^^ lmao love how flückiger is like 'mer chan au im sitze schüsse' and the guy (in a different scene) doubles down with 'mer chan au im sitze fotografiere' bby you can do anything you and your big sad brown eyes eyooo bugatti being a stammkunde as a hit man? bold move .....is that the same actor like the one in the last episode? xDD lmao it IS. my god, do we have that few people? or is that like recycling the grandma in german tatort/polizeiruf? 'hello wife, i'm back from murdering people :)' AAAAH 'lueg, ich ha dis lieblingsbrioche' and he looks like an insane person aaaaaaah ;-; cries a lot I want a hug from hitman guy buddy, you gotta work on your poker face tho xDD uff lady, what happened to you lol the police chef being grossed out by the corpse köasldkasöl help ;-; dlkasdjlaskjdskaljadljdsaklj THE NOSTALGIA of the fucking swiss german nature documentary voice over guy god, that's unlocking memories mh berliner *-* WEHE DIE ISST DIE AUCH SO SCHEISSE WIE VINCENT XD karin bby the depression mood of watching nature docs is too real wuäh ;-; lol the srf radio broadcast I'm not surprised he's spying but like. what have you expected welp. guess who just got his next target handed to him on a silver platter "er ist guter mensch" that kills people :) ...you're not gonna kill him are you? what is happening? xD alright the profiler is interesting 'wüller aktiv isch' 'yes' xD yesss SEK time tihihhi 'ich han pennt, man' 'alleige?' 'ja leider' xD also does the character just have the neck tattoo or the actor? I assume the former but also a weird detail hrrr gun cleaning do not accidentally kill your friend please LMAO that actor is very good at looking shellshocked xDD NOOOOOOO god the action music I love that the komissarin loves a big scarf I'm with you girlie also forgot her name again djalkdjalkjdlkjaskl 'hüt gaths mer wie dir. ich ha kei hunger' that was also a charcuterie board für arme xD XDDDD AND NOW HE'S EATING what a choice flückiger bby happy basement snoozing time 'de schüsst uh huere präzis' xd welp and hit man is getting sloppy 'jesses maria' xD XDDDDDDD THE LITTLE GIRL WITH THE 'GRRRRÜEZI' love you I like that actor and the scoring of the episode flückiger <3 using that detective mind that police chef xD XDDDD flückiger once again hitting a person this time im Dienst xD god the music. realistic corpse transport :D god the bone cracking sound tho damn his wife is at least ride or die noooo WIFEY LEAVE THE GUN .......murder-suicide it is I guess whewww

[thychesters]

ok backlog of thoughts on the one piece arcs i did not think to liveblog! putting a bunch under a read more because this got long and i don’t want to make a ton of separate posts for retroactive takes.

- luffy really just set out to sea with the thought process of “if i die well lmao.” decidedly unlmao, but don’t tell him that. he also immediately decided koby made a perfect punching bag

- the entire exchange with zoro was basically “join my crew!” “no.” “i think you should.” “guess i have absolutely no choice but to join.” and that is now their entire story

- luffy getting anyone to join his crew is basically just that gif that cuts between bryan cranston dancing and pointing at himself. luffy isn’t asking, either. welcome to the crew, you start in an hour.

- also, love this dinghy. two dudes, chilling in a small boat two feet apart because there’s no room. luffy’s having a blast with his two man crew and zoro’s just along for the ride. completely unfazed. gonna work on his tan and nap.

- also, also. they showed it later in the anime but it was the first thing in the manga, but luffy stabbing himself in the face. see, i remember reading the first volume in middle school so i was waiting for that scene. i also had vague memories of other characters like zoro and sanji, so it was nice to see them appear again. not so nice to remember my first introduction to one piece was the 4kids version lmao

- i love makino. this woman is like 20 on the outside but you know after dealing with luffy and shanks & co. she’s gotta be feeling 50 on the inside. i hope she gets to hit someone with a broom at some point. or go on vacation.

- shanks is like the cool uncle you’ll let watch your kid for a few hours, but only because you called another adult to watch shanks. the dude leaves a devil fruit on the bar in plain view of a hungry child and goes yep, surely nothing will come of this. of course he fuckin’ ate it. freaked out for a minute and went damn, well what can you do lol this is inconvenient

- these bandits coming into the bar and giving shanks shit, only to have luffy give the leader shit back and the guy decides well! guess i, a grown man, have no choice but to beat up a child.

(karma said lmao)

- nami showed up and said she’ll fuck luffy’s shit up if she has to. and then she did. good for her.

- i think the introduction of buggy was the first time i really went oh, so we’re weird weird here, huh. i mean, with a name like “buggy the clown” being taken seriously that’s when it clicked. AND THEN HE STABS THE STRAW HAT? sir you’ve crossed a line. luffy’s gonna chop chop your head clean off and drop it in the ocean.

- when i got to the syrup village/kuro arc i was like damn, how long is this battle. oh you fool, you pathetic fool. you knew nothing.

- jango got sent after some kids to go kill them and like. not for nothing but if i had a nickel for every time someone went after a kid in this show ...

- ok but when kuro was doing his whoosh whoosh invisible move or whatever the hell it was, why didn’t someone just get out a stick and trip him. fight’s a lot shorter then.

- zoro’s backstory thus far is just here’s his friend! and now she’s dead! he has no friends but he has a dream! he + the others need therapists.

- see when we got to sanji i knew him!! i remembered this man. 4kids also gave him lollipops instead of cigarettes. lolly suckin’ loser. love zeff too. between the anime and manga i’m not sure which canon i want to lean into more: him severing his foot to save sanji, or him eating it.

- mihawk fight!! the way luffy SCREAMED when zoro nearly got slashed in half and the weight behind “i will never be defeated again. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, KING OF THE PIRATES?!” ohhh these two boys in a dinghy. there are a lot of promises being passed back and forth.

- the don krieg fight! idk that guy was just annoying. not much else to say about that aside being glad when it was over. also hilarious how for each of these fights everyone took their turns. like no, no, like mihawk and zoro fight, and then we’ll go next. and meanwhile those not involved are just pivoting to watch each fight.

- i feel so bad for baby sanji. i still want to study the grown man like a bug, but that baby has been through a lot. (hey, so, does this show hate kids or something.)

- arlong park! ok this was the first arc that really shows how deep the story can get, i think, or at least the first glimpse into it. this was more than “i took over this town to get some money.” this was using a young child to get something he wanted and her using him in return. and she had to work for the man who murdered her mother! who he shot right in front of her and then laughed and dragged her away!

- zoro beat up a bunch of fishmen because he got BORED. luffy told him to wait and “what do you do while i’m gone?” “wait for you to get back” except there are bodies everywhere

- NAMI STABBED HERSELF IN THE ARM SO MANY TIMES how does she not have serious muscle pain after that? AND THEN LUFFY GIVES HER HIS HAT. that’s the first time we’ve seen that one. oh my god

- also zoro is still heavily wounded from his fight with mihawk, arlong rips his bandages off and even he’s shocked he’s alive, nami and the others are horrified, and then luffy just fuckin’ tosses him into the ocean

- luffy’s secret move in a boss battle is just to piss them off. what’s the difference between their species? idk, noses? he’s going to break arlong’s. AND HE DID.

- luffy: “huh, maybe we should get a doctor on our crew first instead of a musician.” zoro, getting his innards sewn back in: “why do you say that?”

- he’s so excited about his bounty! good for him. he’s a wanted man.

- i like this smoker dude. seems like an okay guy.

- roronoa “can i borrow money but also jk i got two swords for FREE” zoro who has so much debt his credit score has plummeted. he’s never going to be able to financially recover from this.

- usopp v daddy fight. words i didn’t think i would say and yet.

- only luffy would nearly get executed and treat it as a “WHOOPS LMAOOOO” only to have an act of god save his life.

- the millenial dragons arc. oh my god. why does apis SCREAM LIKE THAT. they spend five episodes going back and forth to two different islands. “is this the right one? oh jk actually it’s the one we just came from.” is this what hell is like

- because sailing UP a mountain into the grand line makes perfect sense

- THE WHISKY PEAK STORY AHHHH the first moment where luffy jumps to conclusions and zoro doesn’t get a chance to explain himself, but also why should he have to? and luffy yells that he’s going to kill him? they’re supposed to trust one another implicitly! since day one! and then luffy punches him in the face and he’s not holding back and neither his zoro

- luffy says “i’m going to beat the shit out of you” and zoro says “go ahead and try” and nami says “WATCH THIS”

- love that vivi’s like don’t say his name too loud! and luffy immediately goes “who, CROCODILE?”

- an island with dinosaurs. because it just makes sense.

and that’s about caught up to where i started blogging during little garden

[zhaoly]

k so I didn't know this before but halsin apparently originally wasn't even intended to be a companion plus he's intended to be part of a poly romance... which is why his mono romance was barely developed??

man how were we supposed to know that :\ but suddenly it all makes so much fucking sense... why his character arc and romance fell so flat and why you can't romance him for so DAMN long. I suppose you're supposed to romance another companion and then bring halsin in to be part of a poly relationship instead and it's not intended that you get to act 3 with no romances--they assume you've romanced another companion already

i'm really damn disappointed that his mono romance is pretty much nonexistent and that his character development is so all over the place. I don't think I'll ever be doing a poly romance because I'm just not into that at all so unless they fix halsin's mono romance guess I gotta live with it

the only other companion who really interested me for a romance was karlach but her story is almost equally nonexistent and apparently she's got bad endings only?! like just kill me man. i want to try karlach's romance but i feel like her story is just... nonexistent, i mean all you do is find infernal iron and go to dammon. there's not even a specific quest arc or challenge for her, you just sort of naturally find the iron during regular exploration.

guess i'll be trying the other romances more out of curiosity rather than desire. like they all have aspects i like but then there's just like one (or two) things that turn me off.

i liked gale initially bc i was like holy shit an alistair/anders lovechild but then he started all that weird mystra stuff and i was like aight im outie. and i was also like wait we're supposed to be able to romance this guy?! isn't he very clearly not over this thing with mystra? i mean dude's gonna blow himself up for repentance or sth

wyll is like... fine i guess but too nice LMAO and i wont lie the dance scene was just like........... not my thing at all. just really not. and i honestly really don't like his devil appearance, i feel bad for saying it bc it's not his fault lol 😭 i liked him way more as a human but then quickly realized he doesnt stay that way for long. i think his story is definitely intriguing with the whole mizora thing and him being the son of the duke but man.

astarion is insufferable lord i can't stand the way he talks. i kicked him right after the nighttime blood sucking scene bc his voice/personality were so grating and i'm just not into the vampire shit at all. he also just like... looks like a creep and the way he talks doesn't help... tbh i think the only way i'll be able to tolerate him is to mod his face he just comes off as a creepy insufferable old guy i'm sorry

i like shadowheart as a companion but not really into her for a romance. her whole utter devotion to shar was also a huge turnoff lmao and for this first run I just decided that my tav wasn't into that. i did make the choice that basically had her turn against shar but i'm like yeah she can be besties with my tav i like that more. I actually really like sh's arc as a close/best friend

couldn't stand lae'zel initially either, left her in the cage after she wouldnt say please since tav is petty like that. found her later and reluctantly went the creche with her and then ended up killing her oops but hey she threatened to kill me first 🤷‍♀️ i'll def take her on future runs but i don't think i'll ever romance her

so like who does that even leave me with?? halsin basically fit a lot of parameters i like in a companion until i played through more of the game and realized that they really didnt deliver with him. i'm sure if i play through these companion quests/romances further in the future i'll warm up more to these characters but my initial impressions were just... not favorable and hey it's an rpg and my tav has opinions! who knows maybe i'll end up loving one of these character romances but rn i'm still lamenting over halsin's utterly lackluster one

[sayakxmi]

[Magi rewatch] Episode 13: Prince of the Rebellion [Part 1]

I can (did and will) complain about many things regarding the first season of the anime, but DAMN do they have cool titles.

Also, special episode, as it also has a new op.

Matataku Hoshi no Shita de - Under the Twinkling Stars. I've never checked the translation of the title, ngl.

Magi maps are a headache, but it does look cool.

OPs really out there trying to fool me into believing they're an actual trio instead of a duo + Morgiana, and boy will I get to this part either this or the next episode. Cuz there's one thing I gotta comment on, but idk when it happens in the anime.

You know Gordon Ramsey and that "You fucking donkey"? That's me with Hakuryuu. And kinda Sinbad, too. But mostly Hakuryuu. Every time I remember the Kou Empire Arc, and then the Final Arc, I'm like, somebody should take a bat and beat the shit out of you. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but boy does his writing frustrate me.

On a different note, RIP to Hakuryuu kinda. In this OP, I mean. I love Team Zagan & kinda miss it, but here we get Aladdin, Alibaba & Morgiana flying around, and then him observing that only. Not a part of the group, not really. Tho maybe the fact that he's looking up is, like, supposed to be a foreshadowing of him joining? Hm.

Ya bet I'm ready for Cassim flashbacks every arc.

Alibaba looks kinda angry, lol.

Ok, y'know what? These Al-Thamen transitions, then Alibaba's sword before the chorus, they look pretty cool, I'll give them that.

OH WAIT, it's not just his sword. A moment later the sword breaks (sorry didn't screenshot the breaking moment). It's foreshdowing of the blade breaking! That's neat.

I don't even know what to say about this, I'm just kinda laughing.

Hello, Generals, who don't get that much too do in Magi. At least you have stuff going for you in SnB.

Also, Sinbad in that one moment looked pretty cool, ngl. Sorry no photo, it's kinda fast, and how many times do I have to rewatch these moments to make a screenshot...

Ok, that's hilarious.

Welp, Morgiana out there dancing, and these two went to be a duo on their own. I will get to that moment, trust me. As much as I love it, I do have one complaint.

Also, look at the sacred not-full moon. Very rare sight.

I wonder if the moon looking like that is, like, symbolic, cuz Sinbad is half-fallen, and all. So if you go with my moon->fate/guidance, no moon->depravity/rebelling against fate, then this moon is, well, both. So, Sinbad.

The song is, overall, pretty ok. Very Magi-OP-like. Like, no deep feelings, it's just neat.

ALSO! You guys gotta see this MMV, fucking awesome. Alma Torran/Kou Empire Arc spoilers.

But, anyway, to the actual episode.

Bro, the fucking horn.

Enfin Apparu is playing! Very fitting, given the title.

On the one hand, there's nobody screaming to kill the guards, on the other, it's kinda cool how Alibaba just waves his hand and they stop throwing the stones.

Hell yeah.

"My people! Wait here! I'll change this country!"

"I wanted to fall in love." Absolutely, but damn, you deserve so much better than that guy.

Anyway, Kougyoku's pretty as always.

Damn, the way Kougyoku's imaginary 23rd turns into the actual 23rd, lmao.

Jesus fucking Christ.

The further we go, the more I wonder: why the fuck does this guy get to live. Fuck him with a chainsaw fr.

We ain't playin anymore.

Gotta admit.

Ew

I'm not sure how the flames were supposed to help, but ok.

No, srsly, how were the flames supposed to cushion him here. For one, it's fire, which is still dangerous, MV or not, and for other... just genuinely what was it meant to do. I'd understand if he went ablaze before getting hit, to at least harm his enemy at the same time, but here... Idk, man. Weird magic shit, I guess?

Interesting. Here after being hit Alibaba thinks "There's no way I can defeat him", while in the manga he goes "I don't have the time to play with him!". So, completely different attitudes. Anime!Alibaba doubts himself more, while Manga!Alibaba focuses on getting shit done, maaybe a bit hastily, but he does keep the cool head in spite of that.

This bitch ugly af

That's a lot of fire.

We don't appreciate how fucking jumpy Alibaba is.

I'll be honest, in the anime Alibaba comments how he needs to focus more, while in the manga it seemed almost effortless for him to more or less fight this guy AND try to figure out Weapon Equip. Small thing, but made me go Huh.

Oh, hey, Notre Empire started playing.

OH HEY, Anise actually has a VA.

I'll be honest, I know it has all that meaning etc, but it always looked kind of silly. Maybe bc Alibaba is so weirdly low quality here. Dunno.

Ouch

They cut the arteries? Would it even be that much blood?

Listen, I know it's just his imagination, but ngl, I asked myself that question and now I wonder. It always seemed like a bit of an overkill, but then again, I've never cut anybody's throat nor seen somebody do it (and I'd rather keep it that way).

"At your darkest moments, you've always seen yourself drowning in your own blood - so much more of it than you thought it was possible for a single body to carry.

Turns out when you actually die, you don't bleed at all. Your limbs are gone, your soul soon follows, and yet your corpse remains intact on the scorched battlefield, surrounded by fear and mad laughter."

Idk.

Ughh

AGH

"You're brave! I know it!"

Brooo, early Magi Aladdin and Alibaba relationship was so fucking pure.

Hell yeah

[normally-o-a-k]

Hey look a fanfiction

Scam/Jodie

Friends to lovers, multi chapter, no beta we die like Glenn, idk what to tag this I’ve never written fic before lmao, spoilers kinda? There’s some more chatting with the season one dads on the phone lmao it’s not the whole chapter don’t worry.

Rating: still Teen

Chap 6/?

(Double update today!)

Previous chapter:

Jodie couldn’t sleep at all, lying on his side, wings folded behind him, the tip of his tail repeatedly tapping the bed.

He was completely restless. Talking with Glenn had gone better than he expected, but still… his warning had made him uneasy.

Sure he liked Scam… but did he trust him?

He didn’t think he could honestly answer yes…

By morning he’d only gotten two hours of sleep, every minute of his dream spent back on the couch with Scam. He climbs out of bed, showers ,dresses and gets breakfast, knowing better than to expect Scam at the breakfast table this time, he leaves Scam’s dish on the table and heads back to his office to try and get some work done so they could go out later.

Out with his boyfriend…

Jodie buries his face in his hands. He hadn’t been out on a date in…. Over a decade at least… and Hell’s date spots were limited to say the least… with the Doodler on earth it wasn’t exactly like he could take him there… it felt just a bit fucked up to be worrying about date spots when the other daddies and the kids were off trying to find a solution in the forgotten realms…. Should he call someone and ask for advice? Glenn and Ron were really the only two that knew…

He calls Glenn again.

“What’s up?”

“Did you meet up with everyone else?”

“Yeah yeah, we’re good man. You want to check in with Nicky?”

“Yeah, can I talk to you a bit first?… is it Uh, a bit fucked up that I’m taking time to date right now when you guys are trying to save Earth?”

“Yeah a little bit but…” Glenn sighs “man, everybody deserves love, no one’s going tell you not to try for it if you think there’s a chance… besides, we’re doing fine! We’ll probably have this Doodler thing solved in a couple more months…”

“Yeah… okay… look it’s been a while since I went out… I stopped doing date nights after Nicolas turned five…what’s a good-… what do I-“

“Okay okay, here’s the move, you gotta impress him! what are you good at?”

“Paperwork, killing, maiming…” Jodie Frowns.

“So like cop shit. Damn, you really are screwed aren’t you? I’m guessing you don’t want to just bone down, you probably want that sensitive style dating…”

“It’s called taking it slow idiot… but yeah… I…absolutely have to take it slow with him….shit Glenn he’s a really good kisser, I’ve never felt so out of control in my life…”

“Gross…”

“I mean, that too…but I lost control of my flames and nearly set him on fire…”

“Well fuck, man I don’t know… maybe like set up something romantic? Chicks love candles so maybe he will too? Henry is bi, you should ask him how to romance guys…” he calls Henry over “Hey Henry, come help this idiot”

“Hey Jodie! How’s h-e-double hockey sticks? Jodie says you need help? I don’t know if I can help but I’ll give it my best shot!”

“Hey Henry, uh look I, can you keep this from the kids? I started seeing someone new… and I’m a little rusty on romance…”

“Oh Sure buddy! Mercedes and I do date night weekly, and I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I think they’re pretty darn romantic! What’s your new beau like? You know, A lot of romance is showing the person how well you know them”

“He uh, he’s clever, and he loves games… and stirring things up… he always dresses nice… his favorite movie is Hero… he smells like axe …” he smiles “he’s fun…“

“He likes games and stirring things up…and he smells like axe body spray?” Henry pieces it together pretty easily “Jodie… are you sure dating this guy is a good idea?”

“What..because of the axe? It’s not that bad, it kinda smells nice after a while…”

“No because it’s…” Henry whispers “Scam Actually?” He sighs “I know he’s mellowed out a bit, but I mean…you know what? No. you’re a grown guy, you can make your own decisions, and most of his pranks didn’t actually put any of us in real danger…I’ll support you! So …… you need ideas on how to romance him? ….Does he eat?”

“He ate yesterday? I don’t think he needs to though….? I think he might have been serious about feeding on misery”

“Well there ya go! There’s a lot of that down in Heck now isn’t there? Why not treat him to a misery buffet? He’d probably love that kind of thing!”

“Yeah I think you’re right… but is that romantic enough?”

“Probably? If you’re looking to tell how he feels about you why don’t you ask? A little emotional honesty is good for a starting relationship!”

“Henry I can’t do that!” He wasn’t ready at all for that kind of talk.

“Okay well you know, some people find that hard and that’s okay! there’s another way to get at least an Idea of what’s in his heart, it’s like that song by Cher says ‘it’s in his kiss’! So when you get to that point, you’ll probably be able to feel his emotions by how passionate it is!”

Jodie turns a brighter red “Henry I’ve kissed him twice…”

“Is it insensitive if I ask how that went? I’m sorry if it is, I’m just super curious!”

“It … was the best kiss of my life… he left me breathless twice… I can’t tell what his emotions were through a kiss like that Henry, I barely kept control of myself” He rubs his face with both his hands “it’s embarrassing….”

“With… with Scam? I mean I guess I can see that?… he’s pretty charismatic? He’s not…not good looking? How did it happen?” Henry sounded hesitant to say the least

“During truth or dare…and then once after he confessed…”

“You willingly played truth or dare with him?! Jodie is that safe? You remember last time-“

“I know but it was… it was fun Henry, I actually had a pretty good time…he didn’t make me do anything I didn’t already want to… “

“You guys are probably a better match then I thought… I wouldn’t have been brave enough to play another game of it with him that’s for sure…”

“I’m glad I did it.”

“Look Jodie, I know we said it was going to be a week, but the plan failed and we could really use him back, he’s actually a pretty good asset in fights…”

“yeah… okay” Shit, he’d been banking on having him stay the week.

“We can do without him for today, it’ll probably be fine…so maybe if you sent him back tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah…thanks Henry… can you put Nicky on the phone?”

“Yeah sure buddy… sorry for, you know..”

“It’s fine, priorities, I get it…”

He felt guilty now for wanting to spend more time with Scam. He could hear the phone getting passed off.

“Hey dad.”

“How was it? Are you alright?”

“You worry too much… I’m fine! We had to take out two giants because Henry blew our cover and then Glenn and Ron got separated from us. We should have sent you Henry to watch, he’s so bad at lying.” He laughs.

“Yeah Henry is a pretty bad liar” he smiles but then realizes that the pretty bad liar knows what’s up with him and Scam so it’s only matter of time before everyone knows.

“How’s it going with Glenn?”

“Good actually…”

“I know it’s probably a bit difficult remembering two different-“

“Dad I’m fine. We’ve talked about this I’m not you.”

“Okay…but you know if you want a break-“

“I don’t want to go stay with mom. I want to help my friends.”

“Alright Nicky.”

“How was babysitting Scam?”

It was an innocent question but Jodie felt instantly embarrassed. “Pretty good actually, we had a fun time.”

“He’s kinda fun I guess. He hasn’t messed with you?” He laughs

“No, nothing too bad, he took off for a bit and had me looking through repeating rooms for an hour or so last night but that’s about the worst of it”

“Weird….hey uh It looks like Ron’s about to fill us in on last night so I gotta go… see you Dad.”

“Love you, stay safe.”

The phone clicks and Jodie puts it back down on his desk, he leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Shit, there goes his week… and it didn’t sound like Nicky and Glenn were coming back any time soon either.

He felt so guilty for wishing Scam could just stay…At least they had today…

He leaves his office and heads down the hall to look for Scam.

———

Scam had admittedly taken some things for granted. One of them had been the (apparently inaccurate) freedom to roam Jodie’s castle. He’d decided to take a walk after Jodie said Goodnight to relax, and said walk had led him past some really interesting looking doors, Interesting enough that stopping infront of them got him chased out of the hallway by guards.

Which is exactly when he’d got it in his head that breaking and entering was probably a great way to blow off steam. Jodie had forbidden him from using magic with his dare and he wasn’t going to break the rules of a game so he’d have to do it the old fashioned way.

By the look of the absolutely massive golden doors this was probably the treasury, which meant it wasn’t going to be easy to get in and out unnoticed. This also meant it had the potential to be very very fun.

He waits around the corner taking inventory of what he had on hand. He couldn’t change himself or summon other items without magic so this was a rather serious test of skill for him. He’d have to thank Jodie for such a fun evening in the morning.

He hums to himself, pulling on some fingerless gloves, fashion was the first step in any plan after all. He laments the fact that he’d have to stay in his burnt suit for this but there was no getting around it without magic, his entire wardrobe was tied up in glamor magic so he was sure it would definitely count as a spell if he used it. He reaches into his pouch and tosses a vial of alchemical sleep gas around the corner at the guards, waiting for a moment for it to kick in.

Once he heard the telltale thump of both guards hitting the floor he rounds the corner and pulls out thieves tools, getting to work on the lock, popping it easily. Feeling emboldened by how easy this was so far, he decides to add a bit of flourish to his ‘just go in and out’ plan, maybe he’d just take a single thing and give it back to Jodie in the morning as a souvenir of his little caper. He hops over a few obvious traps and heads straight for a crown set on a pedestal in the center of the room. Perfection! He could just imagine the look on Jodie’s face when he drops his treasured crown into his lap, he’d have to be impressed! His grin widens and he grabs the crown.

Which didn’t feel like a crown at all. Instead the metal instantly liquified, fusing to the pedestal and trapping Scams hand between the two.

“Uh oh~ This isn’t a very good look~”, recognizing that he was effectively trapped there, he just poses for the drama of it. It took less than a few seconds for a dozen or so guards to find him like that.

It didn’t quite hit Scam how much trouble he was actually in until His magic did not work when dawn hit. Unable to just teleport out of the cell they’d put him in, panic starts to set in, though he’d never show it on the surface. The dungeon was probably packed to the brim with magic cancelling items. “Hey Mr. Guard?~ yoo hoo, I need a little help over here~ you see this bar is a little loose, and if I were to move it I could just slip out~ and you wouldn’t want that would you?”

He waits for the guard to get close and keeps him distracted with the ‘not actually loose’ iron bar while he uses his tail to carefully remove the keys from the guards belt. He needed to get out of here and fast.

“I should have expected something like this.” Jodie descends the stone steps opposite Scam’s cell and frowns, looking exhausted and hurt.

Scam tenses, dropping the keys. He needed to play this off, so he backs away from the guard and leans against the bars, he laughs, trying to look sexy and unaffected by his own predicament. “fancy meeting you here~ do you come here often?”

It wasn’t working. Jodie’s frown deepens “I thought you didn’t care about money”

“Oh not at all, it’s pointless for someone like me~” He grins and reaches through the bars reaching for Jodie’s hand “you know me so well~ I knew you wouldn’t misunder-“

“Then why did you try and rob me last night? They literally caught you red handed…” Jodie pulls his hand away.

“Well Actually, They literally caught me Gold handed! I only broke in to see if I could and , what do you know, I was able to get in without any magic at all! Out not so much~ if I had been a bit less eager to surprise you it would have been fine~ It was all just a game! ” he was starting to get nervous now… Jodie was supposed to understand…

Jodie’s expression wasn’t softening. “How much of it was a game?”

“If I told you it was just the teensy bit of B&E would you even believe me?~ I think you have some wrong ideas about what I’d joke about~ you wound me Jodie!” He clasps his hands over his chest “How can I prove to you that you can trust little old Me~?”

“You’re in a cell Scam. I think it’s pretty clear I can’t.” Jodie sighs and turns to a guard. “Let him go. He’s leaving anyway.”

Scam’s expression drops “I thought we had a date planned?”

“Look around you Scam. Really take it in and ask yourself why you think that would possibly still happen?”

“You wouldn’t have been mad if I had pulled it off~ you would have even found it charming!” He steps around the guard who unlocked his cell, moving towards Jodie.

“Maybe, but How am I supposed to trust that you’re even telling me the truth about your plan?” Jodie still frowns but his expression does soften a bit. He stops making eye contact, focusing on the far wall instead of Scam’s visibly disappointed face. “Look, just…go okay?…they’re done with being undercover…and the date is off…so there’s no reason for you to hang around.” He opens a portal for Scam.

“I see.” He doesn’t try to defend himself any further, he steps through the portal and heads back to the Daddies.

[hidingoutbackstage]

Death Island liveblog thoughts all in one post

Oh the villain is former Umbrella. Great

Okay we’re spending way too much time filling in Dylan’s backstory. We get it.

Oh the openings credits are LAZY that’s just footage from the other movies/games/shows

Wow this voice acting isn’t great (this will persist throughout the rest of the film)

Ah, never change, Leon. Opening fire in an area where you could easily misfire and hit civilians

Yeah no you’re not surviving that motorcycle crash that easily

Also way to get around the problem people had with Vendetta by making the villain the one causing the traffic problems

Wow so many new models made for random side characters but they couldn’t make a new Jill? Cring

Gotta have a slow mo shot in all of these movies I guess

“Hi Rebecca.” “Hey Chris.” Good, unnaturally establish their names like they didn’t do that in the opening credits

Jill and Chris talking about Wesker like it’s the first time they’ve talked about it since 2009? It’s been 6 years???

Oh they mention Piers that’s fun totally not wondering how I can use this for yhsb

Lol Maria’s model being the exact same. Queen has one (1) outfit

Wow disabled villain. How original

Why are you hiding his face we know it’s Dylan

Oh so they made two models for Dylan, young and old, but they couldn’t make a new Jill model. Got it

Claire and Jill interaction FINALLY

Wow good job Death Island you bass the Bechdel test

Claire called in Jill and Chris meaning she came to Becky with the info first okay girl I see you (🏳️‍🌈)

Hehehe. Zombie sharks zombie sharks zombie sharks zombie sharks

Okay obvious Jill PTSD that’s cool

Floors just randomly collapsing. Yeah sure they do that

LMFAO THE ZOMBIE RIPPING OFF CHRIS’ STUPID TOURIST SHIRT that is unintentionally fucking hilarious

Jesus christ Dylan is an insufferable villain

He’s just Glenn Arias again but more insufferable

Leon stop quipping for fucking once. Jill and Leon are a fun pair though

Okay the aquatic lickers are fucking coooooool

Yes please have a lingering shot on Jill’s legs with her breasts in the shot too as a tongue tries to grab her. Very normal thing to do

That’s right Chris keep the women in your life who get understandably upset in check

Wasn’t Harvardville 10 years ago? Why wouldn’t people know TerraSave was framed?

“We’d help you even if you were the bad guys” followed by a Definitely The Bad Guy shot

Oh boy Jill and Leon made it to the Big Action Set Piece in all the trailers

“Leon Chris Jill and Claire” fuck you Rebecca you’re not important enough to steal data on. Even though like. Didn’t the opening credits imply Rebecca’s info was taken too? Whatever

“Let’s burn it all” is this not incriminating evidence?

AHDHDJSHDBSJ DYLAN BLAKE??? THAT’S A RANDOMLY GENERATED WHITE MAN NAME

Okay I gotta admit mosquitos is a clever way to infect people

“Arias and I did a lot of business together so you could say we were sort of close” yeah dude you’re a Carbon Copy of that man

Ohhhh my g-d Dylan is annoyinggggg

Oh noooooo Dylan is doing the villain thing where his principle makes sense but he uses terrorism to do it. “Fuck the world for being run by big corporations and evil government who don’t give a damn about the innocent. So I’m going to turn the world into zombies” fuck youuuuu writersssss

It’s LITERALLY ECOFASCISM LMFAO this sucks

You know they could actually have paralleled Jill’s and Dylan’s trauma in an interesting way. But then they didn’t

They explored Dylan’s trauma more than Jill’s. Jill’s got one conversation. One.

This tension is so fucking nothing lmao we KNOW they’re not gonna kill the MAIN FOUR PROTAGONISTS this is all just padding

“None of you know what it’s like to be forced to kill your best friend” yes they do she’s pointing a gun at you asshole

Dylan as a villain suuuuuucks I can’t emphasize this enough

Rebecca’s main character status means she doesn’t need any real protective gear

See these government agents are the good guys I swear because they say they wanna help people

Claire is honestly the only person of this group who’s a “good” person cuz she works for an NGO while the rest are government agents. Lol

“We’ve got Jill” yeah Jill was definitely the moral center of this group that was totally established

Rebecca and Jill, Bechdel test…2!

Does Maria ever. Like. Talk?

So Chris how’s it feel to finally get infected like literally everyone else in your line of work that you’re friends with? Now you can join the club. They have buttons

“Thanks Rebecca” kiss her then <3

Oh good Maria does talk

Wow Leon, calling a woman a bitch? Rude

I hope she does kill him just so I don’t have to hear Matt Mercer’s voice for the rest of the movie

Okay so the mosquitos infect humans. Why the sharks? Why the aquatic lickers?

Okay now I get the shark but again. The lickers? Aquatic? Why?

“I’ll finally atone for murdering my friend so that I could survive” or you could have just killed yourself all those years ago. Could’ve saved a lottttt of trouble if you’d just killed yourself

This Leon/Maria fight scene has way too many sound effects (we get it she’s in leather it doesn’t make THAT much noise) but also I am 100% rooting for Maria here. Matt is annoying and she’s literally just out for revenge for her father

Noooo not her titties

What a fucking unceremonious way for Maria to go out jesus christ

Dylan-shark is just HAOS…2!

“Take Rebecca and stop those drones” Leon playing matchmaker good for him

This action music is so over the top lmao

Claire and Becky you’re soooo smart you two should kiss abt it

HELL YES JILL WITH A GIANT GUN GIVE IT TO MEEEE

I’m having so much fun I almost forgot I was pissed that Jill didn’t age

“We control the drones now so why don’t we use them” um. Becky. I know you weren’t there to hear the whole ecofascism spiel but. Maybe don’t. Do that.

See Jill’s quips are good. Leon’s quips are too many in rapid succession

Oh she was using the drones to over-infect Dylan (saying this she casually threw aside a large rock)

Someone is going to say Leon and Chris assembling and using that weapon was actually intentional imagery for gay sex I just know it

That high five between Claire and Becky means everything to meeee (they should’ve kissed after though)

It is cool that all five were in a movie, no complaints there

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 7: The Lion Has New Claws

Did Zarkon's voice change? I feel like it changed

Who the fuck is rowing across the castle's moat when the damn bridge is down They are the ✨drama✨

A look into the teams rooms Only Lance and Keith wake up to the alarm while Pidge is sleeping through it Even cuter, he fell asleep with his glasses on

Hunk decides it's a false alarm that he would fix later in the morning, I think this is our first indication that Hunk knows what he's doing with wires

Goddamn it not her GO OFF PIDGE, PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE HIT HER SO EARLY BUT SHE DESERVES IT LATER

"Well I thought she was the witch" SHE IS ONE YOURE STILL RIGHT PIDGE

It's probably my bias against her, but man is Nanny just annoying sdionv

Allura being a girl boss already, sneaking into blue lion to train herself how to pilot it

IT'S LESS FUNNY WITHOUT THE SOUND BUT I LAUGHED WAY TOO HARD AT THIS EXCHANGE

"Now Pidge, I don't want you flying off the handle-" Keith there's a spear being pointed at the three of you because that decrepit woman doesn't know how to get things done without violence, that is more than enough reason to fly off the handle

CORAN WHY WOULD YOU FUCK THEM OVER LIKE THAT LMAOO THEY MAKE PAPER TUBE SOUNDS WHEN THEY FALL TOO OH MY GOD

Off to save the princess from herself because her babysitter threatened them!

Good for Allura, she learned to land the lion safely She fainted on the dash though

I had to skip through that spanking scene that Nanny put Allura through, especially because the boys were laughing it her while they watched That definitely didn't age well, and I'm sure there's people who didn't like seeing that even when it was first airing

There's a scene with Hunk stretching and his pants falling down?? Like ok I guess it's connected to Nanny telling Pidge he needs to be neater but,,, weird

Kova or Koba? I know later we get another character with the same name which is a big fucking mistake to do in story telling so I gotta be sure on the spelling

Oh so we're watching literal mass murder ok A robeast got to Arus again and is LITERALLY STOMPING ON EVERY BUILDING IT SEES

Not Coran literally tying Allura up I can't say I don't understand where he's coming from, especially because she's the last known living royal but c'mon you could've locked her in her room instead of tying her to a CHAIR

Animation error again, green lion had a red colored torso lol

"Piggy-back attack" what a cute name for an attack, it's just one of the lions using another as a boost to hit the robeast

I forgot to describe the robeast last episode so i'll do both now! The one that totally did not kill Sven was called the Exospike robeast and weighed at 3750 short tons! His weapons were twin forward stab spears, bone blades, fan blasters, and had an organic carbon steel exoskeleton This episode's robeast is called the Blue Fiend, not as creative, and weight 4150 short tons. The weapons are shoulder-harness XEnergy beams, king's crown spikes and horns, robust battle fists, and has dual-layer organic armor

We get a superfast cut of the mice trying to chew Allura free of the ropes and then not even a second later we're back to Keith almost getting torn apart LMAO oh nvm it just keeps going like that, really quick back and forth between Allura's escape and Keith getting manhandled

She's loose and ready to rumble! Not even 5 seconds on site, and she's already forming Voltron, good for her

Looks like we're getting closer to the final preamble before formation

Nanny why would you try to guilt-trip Allura into not flying by mentioning her dead dad, not like it worked but still that's a low blow and the only reason you're alive right now is because of her >:/

The guys are tossing her up while cheering a sweet moment only made weird by the fact that she looks so lifeless while she's being tossed LMAO

Episode end! I'm not looking forward to seeing more of nanny, she's a gross addition But we've got Allura in blue now with a pink uniform! I wonder why they gave her pink in this show, I mean other than her being a Girl™️

[tsuki-sennin]

Meet Shinichi Saruhara~! He's just a small town boy... with a super wacky family life~! His parents look identical, his sister is caught up in a love triangle, and his delivery man is super hot~! All this and more on Meet the Donbros! Premiering Sunday, December 24th on ABC~!

Been far too long since we had a Shinichi focus episode, so I'm looking forward to this~!

Spoilers, I guess...

-Ain't no breaks for the Donbros.

-Haruka-chan!

-C

-Chuwan?

-Is it like -chwan, the honorific Gaon uses to refer to humans/smol animals?

-Damn Saruhara, do you not work out?

-Oh, why'd you give Tsuyoshi the Hitler mustache hjlklhg

-Coupled with the glasses and combover, he gives me serious Bruno Ganz in Downfall vibes.

-TAROU WHAT WAS THAT

-Don Don Brothers!

-Okay so for this episode I'm watching the TV Anon subs, and they call it "Cringe Family" and... yeah <3

-"Yo, Kaito... are all of my beloved companions family? ...without me?"

-"Yes."

-Suzuki-san, you are rockin' that dress.

-Kameda Tsutomu.

-Of course, of course, this guy's our Hitotsu-ki!

-...did he scam an entire family out of nowhere?

-Soooo, Shinichi... what's your deal with this guy?

-Ohhhhhh, you're pulling a gigachad brain move.

-Good look scamming a dude with no money.

-I see the Professor's still beloved in his neighborhood :)

-Fake spiritualist... just like Kanedama from that Ep. 13 of Kakuranger. ...wonder if that's where we got his

-We had the boss lie for us~!

-Oh Jesus Christ, he followed us

-Oh here we go~!

-Outswindle the swindler.

-Good on Tsubasa for just like

-Instantly agreeing to help out.

-Damn, Sonoi.

-"What the dog doing with the shark?"

-Sonoza seems very proud of Murasame carving out his own path, how sweet :)

-"If the dog and the shark become friends... they must trigger some sort of game changing event."

-Aaaah, I see that smile too, Sononi~!

-Jirooooou~!

-Free Vegetables~!

-Daaaaaamn, Haruka, okay!

-Love how she picked both guys with girlfriends.

-"Look man, we're in too deep now, you gotta help us."

-While I do respect Haruka Saruhara establishing her right to date whoever however, I absolutely do not respect the way you worded that lmao

-"Hahaha, wow Tsubasa-san, we sure are the best rivals of all time, eh buddy~? Goku and Vegeta! Yusuke and Hiei! Deku and Bakugou! Naruto and Sasuke! Luffy and... I haven't really seen One Piece in a while, would you prefer to be Zoro, Ace, Law, Katakuri, or do you wanna pick for yourself?"

-"I might as well be Buggy, this is already humiliating enough."

-Everybody is haunted!

-Ah yep, classic cold reading.

-Stroganoff.

-Haruka I swear, if you actually had a cat named Stroganoff-

-Gave the poor thing a shoe hat.

-Miho-chaaaaan!

-"My older sister was born at a very young age. :("

-"And you'll get the spoon if you kill her off again!"

-Government assigned Dog. Tsubasa Inuzuka.

-Ooooooooh, Shurikeeeen!

-Dog...

-Ignored Jirou! How dare you!

-Scarecrow?

-That is a masterclass t pose, Beppu-san.

-...Shinichi fucking would t-pose without prompt.

-Tarou in da house!

-"I brought the meat."

-Oh I'm sure you did.

-Seems like Kameda is catching on.

-Imagine how much funnier it'd be if it cut off at "Tsubasa and I are dating".

-"Oh... good for you. I don't care."

-"Okaaaay, thank you for the meat, get the fuck out now, please~!"

-"I want meat."

-See, Tarou knows they're lying, but they don't know how they're lying.

-"Oh my God, Saruhara's mom is related to the salaryman!"

-Tarou is experiencing accidental neurodivergent-on-neurodivergent violence.

-Surrender your prized possession to be free of darkness!

-Haiku Meat.

-Worthless, worthless!

-"Noooooooooo, my dinner!"

-"Jesus Christ, fine I'll bring more meat, just calm down!"

-"Because reasons... It's quite alright Haruka, I think I understand."

-:)

-He only has death allergy hiccups

-Sometimes

-There's a demon.

-And his name is Momoi Tarou.

-Gotta know when to fold 'em, I guess.

-Ah nope, just straight up robbery!

-Made them think they're even crazier than

-Doggy man take an oolong nap :)

-"OH MY GOD THERE'S CRAZY PEOPLE AND MURDERERS IN THIS HOUSE!"

-HARUKA IJHKLHGH

-Tiger Jirou with the steel chair!

-Dead!

-GET HIS ASS SHINICHI!

-Himitsu-ki! You have been exposed for all from Earth to the farthest reaches of the Cassiopeia constellation to see! It's time for you to repent from your swindler's ways once and for all!

-Oh sure, kick a girl in naptime land, real nice

-Love this mix of the theme song btw

-Getting fired uuuuuuuup! Chozetsu Ninja!

-Time for the finale, it'd seem!

-Seiya seiya seiya seiya!

-25 points!

-Tsuyoshi ujhklhg

-Ah yep, time for the iconic Gorenger Hurricane!

-End Ball!

-Gotta build it all up!

-Oh no you don't!

-You ignored Jirou scammer man

-100 Point Shot!

-He has many things clinging to him indeed! They're called his companions~!

-And this cool robot bird he found.

-Get fucked!

-Awwwwww, Tarou :(

-Allegedly.

-Have a drink, shake your head.

-Poor Tsubasa, huh fellas?

-It's okay, he had a really fun time :)

-Shiina Naoki

-WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

-WHAT OKAY EVERYTHING'S HAPPENING THEN

-Most importantly for me, HARUKA'S USING OMIKOSHI PHOENIX YOU GO GIRL

-Well... I suppose I'll see you all next time, when Donbrothers does as it does

[vertigoambrosia]

my husband is gone let's finish this depressing ass shit

oh man we're getting nobara's backstory she's in trouble...

i've seen fanart off her with an eyepatch so i think i know where this is going

but....tbh it seems like this series is kinda just pain this arc and forafter judging by people's reactions to the manga

wait

is she actually for real dead

are you serious

oh no more flashback this is not a good sign

LMAO MEGUMI PLS

he panik

oh ok no time to laugh we back to death

wait how tf can mahito use black flash?

i swear this dude is so stupid overpowered

fucking plot armor to the max

TODO

i have never been so happy to see this fucker

yuji :(

todo :)

oh thank god if someone says there's a slim chance a protagonist can live in an anime they def will nobara's not fucked!

HELL YEAH YUJI BLACK FLASH HIS ASS

FOR NANAMIN

oh this is sad but i am actually really happy that mechamaru and miwa got to talk to eachother one last time

bro you really think sukuna is gonna let you touch itadori's soul?

todo using the power of rainbows??? rainbow flash?

kinda gay lol

(i'm kidding that ruled)

ok fuck plot armor, mahito has straight up plot jutsu

like i honestly forgot how his powers work and do not understand why he can just keep doing shit

three episodes left!

god itadori and todo gotta like, rip this guy's jaw off or something i cannot stand to hear him speak another fucking word

like i don't even find the fight particularly interesting anymore at this point

the narration is kinda weird tbh it's always kind of an awkward device

oh great is todo dead too

um

what?

i have no idea what just happened but it ruled

oh yeah of course mahito has a new even better power

'an arm is merely a decoration' lmaooo todo

HELL YEAH

FUCKIN KILL HIM

YEAH BITCH YOU OUTTA MONSTERS

ohhh poor yuji kinda dead inside

is this yuji's domain expansion?

uh???????? what?

oh great we're gonna have to deal with lobotomy brain now? can't we just end this night?

lol of course kusakabe survived

oh now we gotta bring non-fantastical consequences like the economy into this???

choso not dead? i'm actually pretty interested in what's going on with him so i wouldn't mind seeing more of him

dammit if not-geto eats mahito does that mean he can use him again later? cause i never wanna see that bitch again

yes this is truly what i wanted. more curbstomp battles. more characters i know fucking dying. fantastic.

oh ok well at least the kyoto students aren't dead yet

??????????

ok this kind of explains some odd spoiler jokes i have seen..kinda?

fuck em up choso!!

(i am pretty sure he cannot defeat kumo pieceofshit because he is obviously the series villain, but still)

i both hate and love kusakabe

so ice lady works for kumo pieceofshit? man is this ever gonna end?

oh it's the person with the least emotional intelligence in all of the show

i guess i'll get to see her do something besides say all the wrong things to geto

man i hope choso doesn't die he's just gotta last one more episode!

damn japan really is cursed like that?

well now i just have no idea what is happening

or, honestly, what this asshole's goal actually is?

oh noooo megumi's sister

welp

man they really went full "nothing will ever be the same"

i think i might regret watching this

or at least the second season

yuta?

rika's still hanging around to help?

wait WHAT gojo is being blamed?

so i guess maki is dead and we're not even gonna acknowledge that?

and nothing on megumi or nobara?

what a fucking downer fuck this show

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOOO “let’s not be hateful” I could never because I’m sorry to say but some people deserve the hate..!!! Let’s just say I’ll never gossip or shit talk without good reason….

And FR its not like you can’t enjoy a villain without acknowledging the actual. Yk. Villain parts…like let’s not ignore the pile of corpses Sukuna left behind (as an example)!!! And bro those yuki haters<<<<<< like if you’re thinking that then literally any convo could’ve swayed geto..? I mean those types of topics are bound to pop up someway or another in jujutsu society like it could’ve been anyone….if anything I’d also say that Gojo had more influence on him than yuki like?? But you don’t see people blaming gojo??? Getos character has a lot of potential fs but yeah ugh some parts of the fandom…..

LMFOAOAOA WAIT I WOULD DIE FOR A POV SWITCH MOMENT THATD BE SO FUNNY HAHAHAHA im actually crying the “hot but scary neighbor” is too funny

All the other bllkers being like haha wtf and y/n just face palming….imagine he also comes up with more ridiculous excuses like the high quality honey excuse…”oh sorry my cockatiel needs a root canal” “sorry I need to go drive my sister to an appointment halfway across the country” etc OR he keeps using the same lame excuse like “oh sorry gotta take a shit” and at some point the bllkers convene like damn that man really is full of shit…LMAO I guess he’d only be able to pull that off on the more oblivious members/people who don’t care like Nagi Bachira and Isagi though HAHA I can imagine the moment yuki losing it would make me laugh so hard like calm mature soft spoken yuki finally being like “NO!!! SHE LIKES YOU DUMBASS!!! IS YOUR BRAIN FILLED WITH HAIRWAX???? ITS YOU MF!!!”

Omg wait that’s so annoying…I hope your symptoms get better!!!! Actually I mean you probably don’t have any on you but I’ve found that ginger based candy is really helpful for nauseousness!! I’m not a huge fan of ginger myself but I can usually live with ginger candy!! And it helps with any queasy feelings so if you ever wanna give that a shot…but YAY SWITZERLAND!!! Have fun and enjoy the flight!!! See you on the flip side LMAO

-Karasu anon

i fear i AM a shit talker at heart like i’m super nice 99% of the time but the second someone crosses me or my friends i let loose (although not in public and only w people i trust because i’m not trying to start drama!!) 🤫 it truly is part of the human condition but it has to be done properly…some people go crazy with it and just are plain mean

LITERALLY WHAT I’M SAYING like anything could’ve made him snap at that point ☝🏻 it just so happened to be yuki because she was there but it’s not her fault as such because he was already way too far gone atp…people are always like “she shouldn’t have talked abt something so sensitive when he was obviously spiraling 🥺” HOW TF WOULD SHE KNOW?? maybe he just looks like that all of the time she literally has never met this kid plus i’m sure he’s not the first sorcerer to be depressed 😭 just the first to go crazy

no because IMAGINEEE like reader is all blushy because barou keeps visiting to yell at her and she’s like “oh my god he definitely has a crush on me oh my god he’s so fine he lowkey looks kinda murderous but it’s really attractive actually 😳🤤” meanwhile barou is like “you have 13 minutes to clear that snow off of my driveway before i kill you myself”

PLEASEEE KARASU IS NOTTT ESCAPING THE IBS ALLEGATIONS 😭😭😭 i think the first would def be otoya because karasu wouldn’t even need to make anything up to get that date to happen LMAO and as it goes on the excuses get progressively weirder…like with reo he just says smth like “oh sorry i’m feeling a bit under the weather i can’t make it” but by the time we get to nagi he straight up is just like “bro i’ve been kidnapped let’s do smth another time” and nagi is like “okay 👍” HFKSJSJ yuki is a patient guy but he has his limits 😔 one can only take so much two way pining and ridiculous mishaps before they snap 😰

THANK YOUU 🥹 i have been dealing w reproductive system issues for like foreverrrr my periods are so bad 😩💔 apparently it takes abt three months for your body to adjust to birth control and i’m on like month 3.25 so hoping to see some improvements soon 🫦 the flight wasn’t horrible!! def could’ve been worse…excited to be here finally though!! even if i’m super nauseous still 😓

[indefenseofkara]

My (mostly silly) thoughts while playing the MWIII Campaign

spoilers under the cut, obviously

Operation 627

was this man wearing a suit in prison?

Cutscene

wonder what the 141 was about to do before learning about Makarov

RIP Dena, first named side character to die this game

Precious Cargo

if Graves was serious about helping Urzikstan he'd pronounce Farah's name right

I tried to be stealthy. it never works 😢

omg Graves is so annoying and won't stfu. he even interrupts himself

Cutscene

RIP Ivan, you were just trying to do the right thing

i don't think patches really tear and attach that easily

Gaz's headshot is really so much better than everyone else's lmao

Reactor

once again i tried to stealth and failed

"I'm going loud" yes?? of course??? i just blew up a helicopter! is there a way to stealthily blow up a helicopter????

gave Price lung cancer oops

Cutscene

ghost is so proud of his joke lol

finally Farah learns about what Shadow Company did in Las Almas (kinda i guess Price didn't mention all the innocent people killed lmao)

aw but Price trusts Farah

Payload

i kept pressing the button for exiting recon drones in MP/WZ but it's different in the campaign 💀

my left joystick keeps drifting and idk whyyyy

the bunker dining room is set up so nice. table cloths and flowers!

Cutscene

damn Farah really gets everything done, the other 141 boys didn't stop their missiles

Nikolai! Rocking out to metal! I love it!

is Kastovia in Russia? I thought it was a country

Yuri!

Deep Cover

i'm Laswell!

for like 2 minutes lmao damn that was short af

Cutscene

oh god No Russian coming up

do i have to shoot civilians this time?

Passenger

bruh wtf is this?

why was Makarov even on the plane?

could/should have been a cutscene

Cutscene

Farah is my badass motorcycle gf

"Yes, ma'am" Alex knows what's up.

Crash Site

ooooh i found a crossbow!

goddamnit Alex i just took down like 30 men and you got caught by 3?! get it together man

the game wouldn't let me dramatically zipline in to save alex, rude.

Cutscene

Farah continues to be the most capable person in the series

Aww Gaz and Nik being bros

Flashpoint

this post is supposed to be silly thoughts but what is going on with this timeline? Price and Soap and Ghost are together but not part of the 141 because that hasn't been made yet. Also they're all British SAS why are they reporting to Shepard? (that's a question for all the games but especially in this pre-141 scenario) (ok back to silly thoughts)

i shoved Makarov so much lmao (i also shot him but that made me fail the mission)

everyone is gloating so much get it together

Cutscene

Herschel lol

he clearly has a plan and they're all like "what are you talking about Makarov we totally got you"

oh look i was right

oh look it's my least favorite people

"Ghost that is not nice" ok that got me i cackled

Gaz is distractingly pretty rn

Oligarch

listen i swear i'm trying really hard to be stealthy i don't know why i'm so bad at this i'm on recruit ffs

Cutscene

good cop bad cop

"to hide my face" he has a point

i have strong doubts that Milena actually worked for that money lol

Makarov talking about a "Shadow" and i am shocked. Shocked, I tell you! (i am not shocked)

Highrise

this was a fun level

Nolan's talking shit after i shot him, but i didn't even know i got him - i downed him while blinded by a flash grenade lmao

when did Price hook into the skyhook? nearly had a heart attack when we took off

Cutscene

oh its the high fashion mission coming up

Frozen Tundra

godammit another mission where i want to shoot the guy we have to keep safe for some dumb reason

Gaz is the voice of reason again

soap keeps running away when i try to get ammo from him 😭

Cutscene

lmao gotta love these scenes where everyone is part of an intimidating conversation

Gora Dam

i didn't even try to go stealthy this time, immediately stole a truck with a sentry turret on the back

Cutscene

Graves ugh

Gaz not shaking his hand, ICONIC

Danger Close

not really a fan of these types of missions

accidentally used a missile to take out one person but that's ok because i got an achievement for it called "your tax dollars at work" 🤣

Cutscene

yeah he's not dead

huh Shepard telling the truth, shocker

lol jk still lying too

lmao where was Alex in that little scene. "Nik take Farah back to Urzikstan" and Alex? where'd he go??? weren't you in Urzikstan? You left just to talk about this with Farah but not Alex? WHAT IS GOING ON? DID YOU THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE DETAILS LIKE THIS

Trojan Horse/Countdown

doggo!!!

actually liked the CCTV bit, it's realistic

got runover by a train because my joystick keeps drifting 💀

playthrough interrupted for cat snuggles

"chunnel" lol i forgot some people call it that

RIP Soap, that was a pretty definite death

"one KIA" you mean one task force member... all the police with you are KIA too damn way to be insensitive Price

Cutscene

Uh does Soap not have a family?

Lol Gaz is the only one who took off his hat/hood

Tbh i was expecting a tragic military funeral with bagpipes

this was too short i didn't even have time to process before it was over. didn't cry.

Bonus scene

thank fuck he's dead. now let's get Graves.

Credits

lol what is this music? (oh it's 21 Savage)

production babies!

someone is named Amish.

I know some of these people!!!! I sat through over 10 minutes of credits to cheer for my pals suffering under the evil overlords at Activison!

there wasn't a "thanks for playing" picture at the end what

[gaybd1]

I’ve lost control of my life it is now 2:30am

(Chris watches Twilight Eclipse for the first time)

Okay fuck it it’s 12:30 am let’s start the annoying love triangle one (I’m guessing)

All I know about anything for the rest of the franchise is bella and Edward will be married and she’ll become a vampire either before or after that and also they will have a creepy baby but I think all that happens in the last book so NO guesses for this movie

At least the budget and therefore quality seem to be getting bigger/better each time

Another cheesy quote from Bella to open us out aight

Like idk she’s a student and I feel like students shouldn’t gotta worry about this marriage shit? Not in high school

It should be illegal to get married before 25 when your brain finishes developing btw

They’re both gonna be so annoying aren’t they, her with wanting to turn and him with wanting to get married, just kill me now

Anyway are they gonna finally resolve that one crazy lady vampire issue from the first movie bc that was really such a tiny problem to drag our

So is it jacob or jake what does he prefer

The music is a little better (so far) at least

Oh fuck not Edward controlling Bella’s movements and friendships GET AWAY FROM HIM BELLA

I get that Charlie has beef w Edward like girl same but also I feel bad for Edward lol

Mom sees that Edward is creepy too

Bella’s lying out in the sun but still just as pale okay

So jealous of T-shirt quilts

Dramatic ass vampire family nothing ever changes

Just get rid of this red hair chick so we can move onto the Vampiric Council villain plot

Teamwork!

More annoyed about Edward wanting to save Bella’s soul now that I know it’s Mormon propaganda tbhhhh

The thing w the Jacob v Edward drama that I never understood all those years ago is that they’re BOTH bad people!!

I still say they’d make a killer polycule

But I do love the “Edward is my boyfriend, Jacob is my best friend, and they’re jealous of each other”

Loving the lady werewolf

But how many are there now it seems like Too Much

Oh imprinting got it cool

WAIT I SWEAR I saw somewhere that Jacob ends up imprinting on Bella and Edwards daughter?????

Anyway at least lautner is kinda losing the accent at this point. Makes him less annoying

Unresolved Victoria plot, unresolved volturi plot, and now someone new???

Cross-species teamwork to help protect Bella how cute

Loving the historical flashbacks actually, I’d love a movie on the lore

WAIT FUCK jasper is SOKKA in that awful shyamalan avatar movie I’m sndkldjdsjkslskshdhdjdkd

JACOB why would you kiss her she just said she doesn’t love you I hate every man in this franchise

Clueless Charlie is pretty great

Rosalie has been nothing but spout straight up facts this entire franchise so far

Wow what a terribly tragic backstory though damn

So amused that they keep talking about defeating newborns lolol

Why would jasper know more about them than anyone else? They’ve all been newborns at some point? Is it bc he’s the most recently turned?

Oh good, explanation

Oh NOW he has an accent? lmao

Since when does he control emotions, have we seen that yet??

Ugh Jacob just DROP IT

Hahaha the father-daughter talks are so good

Listening to Debussy in preparation for seeing depussy nice

Oh DAMN he cockblocked himself. The damn Mormon influence again

It DOES make sense with the era he’s from etc etc

I just know the fangirlies were going crazy in the theatre w this whole sequence

oh NOW she says yes okayyyy

Okay seriously why is Jacob allergic to shirts

Cuddle for warmth. Classic fanfic trope oh all THREE of them should cuddle

“I am hotter than you” wow the fan girls are losing their minds

Anyway like we all know I stan rpats but he IS a goofy looking guy and I am constantly surprised he got cast for this role

Jacob doesn’t know how not to be a creep Jesus

Nice convo Jacob and Edward now kiss

But anyway that was actually super boring

Are they not even gonna SHOW the battle lmao

This movie feels super long am I wrong?

This fake ass snow

He’s literally making her say she loves him grossssss

What is any of this for like she’s less than 30 minutes of screen time away from marrying Edward right?? What was the ENTIRE point of that Jacob kiss

I actually do like how chill Edward was about it though lol

That is NOT Bryce Dallas Howard why doesn’t it look like her

What’s with the metallic clanking sounds when they die

This would be a great time for bella to get hurt and have to be turned, just saying

Oh DAMN did Bella use the trick from the werewolf story nice

Lol I had no idea vampires were so flammable

No idea what just happened to Jacob tbh like he doesn’t LOOK hurt

Why did they have to kill the girl jesus

The second movie was a gay allegory but this one is a trans allegory for sure

ok so yeah that’s another one done I guess lol