#LITERALLY WHY IS SINGING SO INTUITIVE AND FUN....... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tojiaesth · 3 years ago

Text

boyfriend

gojo satoru x f!reader

summary: you and gojo had some sort of unspoken agreement in which you refused to adhere to labels and instead chose to have fun. except neither of you would ever admit the hold you had on each other.

warning: heavy smut, 18 +, minors dni, fingering, oral (fem receiving), rough handling of reader, marking, dom!gojo, sub!reader, choking/breath play, overstim, raw sex, tummy bulge, ?slight breeding kink, jealousy and possessiveness, mentions of drugs and alcohol.

tags: college au, fratboy!gojo, friends with benefits, unlabelled relationships, bisexual!gojo, bisexual!reader, fluff at the end <3

A/N: inspired by ariana herself <3 so i recommend at least listening to the song before you read, if you’re like me and can’t read and listen :p

It was loud. That was the first thing you picked up on before you even entered the sweaty house. Your friends begged you to come, as if there weren’t parties every week and missing one would change the world. You struggled to find a parking space, choosing to walk the rest of the way. The deafening thump of bass could be heard a few blocks down and you wondered how there was never any noise complaints.

Satoru probably threw money at them.

You smiled, it was such a him thing to do. The cold air nipped at your dress, having left your coat in your car. You had chosen to wear an emerald green satin body con dress that stopped mid thigh. It accompanied a criss cross pattern that exposed your back. You first saw it online and had fallen in love, it partly being the reason why you had said yes. You wanted him to see you in the dress, already craving the dark look in his eyes when he was turned on.

Gojo Satoru, college senior, with his charismatic personality had a very big presence at the college. Almost never alone and surrounded by a group of admirers, both men and women fell at his feet. If someone had told you back in your first year that you’d be sleeping with this man on the regular you’d think they were crazy. He honestly, despite being very handsome, was not your kind of man. Too pretty, very cocky and had serious commitment issues, bedding half the campus. But it had started at the beginning of the year, your friendship groups overlapping as you had grown close with Suguru Getou and Shoko Ieiri having been studying the same subject. You found yourself around him a lot, eventually going out with just each other and things quickly progressed.

Soon enough he was between your thighs, lapping at your cunt with fervour and sucking gently on your clit, two slender fingers hitting that spot. He did that a lot, seeming to relish in the way you fell apart on his tongue, your slippery walls pulsating as you softly said his name like a prayer. He’d nonchalantly get up, sometimes not even asking for anything in return and it surprised you. You pegged him as more of a receiver than a giver but it suited you fine.

You became pretty popular on campus as you hung out with them, attending parties and making life long friendships. You usually weren’t someone who slept around, but that quickly changed. So did your care for a steady relationship. You were 21, life was short, you had a great body and a pretty face, opting to have fun.

You found yourself caught in Gojo’s trap, legs wound around his waist on a weekly basis, his hard cock driving into you with such force you thought you’d break. Your legs clenched just thinking about it, a thin layer of slickness coating your panties.

Your thoughts were brought back to reality when you entered the frat house, NalinA by Block B was being blasted at full volume through the house and you already felt a course of excitement run through your veins. You couldn’t wait to let loose and find your friends. The house, just short of a mansion, had been decorated with l.e.d lights, a soft red and blue glow painting your skin. There was alcohol everywhere, sweaty bodies and the strong smell of weed.

“Y/N! Over here.” You looked over to see the majority of your friends on a sofa, catching sight of Satoru with a girl on his lap. His hand was caressing her ass, as she pouted saying something to him. She was pretty, and you tried your best not to care. Their faces were sweaty, with cups in their hands, indicating they had stopped dancing. You walked in their direction, plopping yourself next to the person behind the voice.

“Hey Mei-Mei. You look hot.” You said casually and she automatically pulled you to sit on her knee. You smiled and took her cup, whatever bitter liquid sliding down your throat. You and Mei were another short lived fling, sleeping together a handful of times and besides Satoru, no one else could compare to that sinful mouth of hers. A queen at teasing, she brought her hand to your waist and lightly began tracing shapes with her fingers.

“You look hot, that dress is making me want to do things to you.”

You chuckled as you stared at each other, tensions running high as the song changed to one you were familiar with. You wanted to dance.

“God, please make out.”

You ignored the annoying comment from Sukuna who was sat diagonally from you, blatantly checking you out. You told him to shut up, your mouth twitching as he looked completely unfazed. Looking away, you ran your fingers through Mei’s soft hair,

“Come, let’s dance.” You whispered, breath hot on her ear as she shivered. You loved how easily you could fluster Mei, knowing the more you worked her up the more she’d punish you for it later.

You both got up and your arms were grabbed by Shoko,

“We’re coming, we’d rather not watch Sukuna hunt for a girl like an animal or Gojo practically fuck in front of us.” She said, shuddering and dragging a very amused Getou. Your eyes flickered to Satoru, finding that he was already watching you. The girl was now straddling him and the buttons on his shirt looked undone, his hands rubbing circles on her thighs. He refused to break eye contact with you, kissing her neck as she moaned, smirking as you looked away, grasping Mei’s hand.

You don’t know what he was trying to do, but it pissed you off. It annoyed you more that he’d groan in your ear some nights, grabbing your neck and claiming you were his and his only. Not wanting you to touch or look at anyone else. The next morning? Business as usual as he was all over some girl. You deducted that him saying those things to you were just in the heat of the moment, recalling how your clit would throb as he would rub slow circles, staking his claim. You liked how possessive he could get, the rough sex, and how occasionally he’d surprise you with a gift. All without having to actually be in a relationship.

You didn’t care about labels and neither did he. So why? Why did his eyes say, he wanted you to get jealous? You sighed, these mind games and mixed signals were your least favourite part of Satoru.

The beginning of an all too familiar riff began to thump through the walls and you all squealed in delight. As ‘Do I Wanna Know’ began you swayed your hips and lip synced, literally letting your hair down as Mei came up behind you. Shoko began recording you without your knowledge, watching as your head fell onto Mei’s shoulder, her hands ghosting around the space between your breasts, purposefully ignoring how your nipples hardened as she whispered something lewd into your ear.

“She’s gonna kill you if you post that.” Suguru watched as Shoko posted the video to her story, her eyes shining with amusement as almost instantly people replied asking who you were.

Satoru on the other hand could not take his eyes off of you. He studied you as you wrapped your arms around Mei and he was exasperated. She was addictive, he thought, those pouty and full lips had a hold on him, his dick twitched thinking about them wrapped around him. Her body was something else, those breasts of hers heaving against her dress. Shit. He almost got hard. The girl currently giving him a hickey was just not doing it for him. In fact no girl or guy was, he had tried countless times only his encounters with Y/N fulfilling his desires. In spite of that, he would not tell her this, not wanting to ruin the game of cat and mouse they had going.

“Satoru, let’s go somewhere.” The girl whined, hips grinding against his crotch. He suddenly got up and pushed her off of him,

“Nah, not in the mood. I’m sure Sukuna would be interested. He has a habit of going after my sloppy seconds.” Gojo snapped, sick of the way he was gazing at you, eyes darkened with lust.

He ignored the girls cuss words directed at him as she stormed off and Sukuna snickered, looking up from his phone.

“She’s fuckable but I have my eye on something else tonight.” He thrust his phone in Satoru’s face, only to be met with Shoko’s story, full of Y/N dancing suggestively.

He willed himself not to show anger and hummed,

“Like you could pull her.” His voice dripping with fake amusement as Sukuna tensed in irritation.

Satoru walked in the direction of his friends, still dancing crazily and singing very out of tune to ‘Kiss me more’, you were now dancing with Suguru and laughing loudly as he tried to attempt some sort of dance move so terribly, Satoru could not decipher what it was supposed to be. Your lips were glossy, eyes twinkling as he picked you up and twirled you around, ribs hurting from laughing so much. You never laughed that much with him.

Satoru pursed his lips, he was just so irritated. Suguru put you down when the song finished and you fixed his hair that your arm had messed up,

“Your hairs gone so long now, I love it.” You said cheerily, fingers twirling on a stray strand as Suguru bent down slightly so he could hear you over the music.

“It suits you.” You stated softly, unable to look away from his intuitive eyes. The lights were casting a glow across his face, bringing his jaw to attention as you traced it slowly. He was a different kind of handsome you thought, more your type than Satoru was and you thought about how his eyes were a warm brown, compared to Satoru’s cerulean ones. You scolded yourself internally for still finding ways to think about Satoru, you just couldn’t shake him.

Suguru smirked and focused on the feeling of your hands, now running through his hair and eventually resting on the back of his neck. You smelt so good, he thought, he wanted to kiss you. He leaned down and you realised his intentions, your hands paused on his biceps that were coated in tattoos. As you closed your eyes, thoughts wild and slightly clouded by the shots you did with Shoko, you braced yourself to kiss the god-like man that was Getou Suguru, pulse racing.

“Y/N!” Your head automatically snapped at your name being called, sheepishly looking at Suguru whose eyes were now filled with something you couldn’t quite figure out. Satoru was in front of you both, promptly grabbing your hand and dragging you away. Eyes bewildered you looked back at Suguru who looked entertained at the whole situation. You found yourself at the focus of everyone’s stares, all curious as to why Gojo had a dark look in his eyes.

“Satoru, what the fuck? Let go-“ His large hands were gripping your smaller ones hard, uncomfortably squishing your fingers together. He said nothing, back to you as he hauled you up the stairs and into his room. His door slammed as you stumbled into the dimly lit room, turning around in utter confusion at Gojo’s behaviour.

“Fuck, what is your problem?” You were enraged at how he just did what he pleased with you and how you just let him. You massaged your wrist, now slightly red at Satoru’s force.

“Why the fuck would you try and kiss him? Seriously, Suguru? You’re such a fucking whore.” Gojo clenched his jaw, finding himself even angrier at the thought of you underneath Suguru, moaning, sweat dripping off your backs.

You were baffled. A whore?

“Firstly, you’re literally the definition of a whore and secondly, why the fuck do you care?!” You stepped closer to him, cheeks flushed in anger at Satoru’s audacity,

“You have no fucking right to care about who I fuck. Got it? You’re not my boyfriend.”

Satoru moved closer to you, your nose in line with his chest as the man’s eyes changed suddenly. For once, he had no comeback or witty remark, you were right but he’d had enough. Just the thought of his best friend between your legs snapped him into action and he had to come to terms with his feelings. His fingers lifted your chin, your eyes willing itself not to melt at his touch, goosebumps already littering your arm. He silently moved to your lips, thumb pressing against your mouth, encouraging you to open.

You were so unbelievably confused, this man blew hot and cold. One minute so angry he couldn’t speak and then next initiating a kiss.

“Satoru-“

His lips were against yours before you had time to think, furiously pressing against them and swiping his tongue across. You relaxed into his touch and opened your mouth. His tongue found yours in an instant and lightly sucked it, your breathless moans pleasuring his senses as his hands pulled your body closer to him. He explored your body, cupping your ass while you simultaneously wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers drowning in his soft white locks. Eventually he pulled away, cupping your face gently like you were a porcelain doll,

“I don’t want you to see anyone else or kiss them like that. I’m not playing any more games. You’re mine.” He stated firmly, blue eyes framed by his ash coloured lashes, gazing into your soul.

You couldn’t bring yourself to tease him. Gojo...was serious. All those extra knowing glances you’d give each other, the fiery arguments, the passionate sex, the pang of jealousy at his lips on another girls neck and the way his eyes would linger a little too long when you spoke to a guy, you realised the both of you were stupid. Too busy trying to convince yourselves you didn’t care you both buried your thoughts away, afraid to articulate them in case you were rejected.

You found yourself repeating after him, his eyes almost hypnotising you as you stuttered,

“I-i’m yours.”

Satoru lightly kissed you on the lips and motioned you to jump up, supporting your legs as you wrapped them securely around his waist. He gingerly placed you on his bed, hovering over you as his hands slowly rid up your leg, ghosting around your inner thigh and you suppressed a moan. His touch was magnetic, something as simple as stroking your thigh with Satoru becomes so much more, a tingly sensation jolting through you when his hands brushed between your clothed folds. Meanwhile he began kissing his way down, starting with your neck and sucking furiously at the spot above your collarbone. You mewled against him as he licked the now marked spot, your hips desperately finding his to grind against.

“Patience, baby. I’m taking my time with you.”

You whined at his remark, you just needed him inside you, now.

“Such a whiny brat.” His voice slipped through your ears like silk as he slowly slipped the straps of your dress down your shoulders, the new stimuli adding to the experience. You were never more glad to have not worn a bra. He focused on your exposed breasts, nipples hard and swollen and he groaned at the sight.

A warm sensation reached your nipples and you cried out in pleasure, looking down at Satoru lapping up your soft mounds. His seductive gaze ripped through you as he began to trace slow circles with his tongue. His fingers kept your other breast occupied, rolling around your left nipple with his fingers, constantly switching sides and worshipping them.

His attention switched to your lower stomach, kissing your skin with affection as you anticipated his lips between your thighs. You could feel the damp spot slowly spreading on your panties and the swell of your clit, begging to be touched.

“Fuck, Satoru you tease.” You breathed out in gaspy moans, he had completely removed your dress by now and was blowing warm breaths against your knickers. Satoru brought a single digit to rub against the wet spot, moaning as he felt the tent in his pants. He loved teasing you but it required self control, wanting nothing more than to release his large cock from its restraints and into your warm hole, throbbing at the thought.

He finally pulled your panties to the side at your delight and your whimpers filled the room as his fingers brushed against your soaked clit. He played around with your pussy, stroking up and down and noting the creamy juices that were flowing out your hole. The sight of his fingers coated in your juices and he almost came right there. The lewd squelching of your cunt was slightly covered up by your cries of pleasure as he entered two slender fingers inside you, stimulating your sensitive walls. He reached down and took your clit into his mouth, humming at the taste.

“F-fuck, right there Toru” You moaned, attempting to wriggle but Satoru quickly used his arms to clamp your thighs into place, his sensual mouth causing white dots to appear in your vision. Your stomach fluttered at the slow, familiar build up of your climax, not even embarrassed that he had only been eating you out for five minutes. You were just so sensitive today and paired with Satoru laying claim to you, your body was responding to each and every one of his touches.

“Ah, k-keep going baby, fuck. You’re so good at it.” The praises fell from your lips as the deep pleasure in your stomach changed, indicating you were near.

Satoru was persistent, his insatiable need to feel your cunt quiver against his tongue caused him to add one more digit, scissoring his fingers against your gummy walls. He could feel you frantically clenching, chuckling at his inability to move as fast as his fingers were in a death trap. He kept his eyes on you, watching as your hand came up to your mouth to stifle your sobs, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“I’m close.” You whispered and you made a mistake of looking down at Satoru, his tongue was pressing down against your sensitive nub, saliva dripping onto his bed. His fingers went even faster, determined to make you cum.

“Shit, shit, shit. I’m gonna-”

“Cum for me princess.”

That was all you needed. You legs squeezed frantically against his head, the euphoric sensations causing your back to refuse to rest against the bed. Satoru paid no mind to your repetitive whimpers as you began to come down from your high, his lips still stubbornly attached to your clit. It was too much, the previously pleasurable feel was now borderline painful, his sticky fingers removing themselves from your cunt.

You legs jolted occasionally each time he purposely grazed the bundle of nerves, continuing his efforts by using his tongue to tease around the now sensitive area, chuckling when your hips wriggled.

“Delicious.” His velvety tongue swiped his lips and he brought his fingers into your mouth. The tangy but familiar taste of your undoings were accompanied by his soft fingers, swirling around your tongue until your saliva created a mess.

“Shit, you’re so hot.” He groaned, the twitching of his cock was unrelenting. You pressed your legs together, the achy feeling of need returning. Reaching to kiss him, your hands started to undo his belt buckle,

“I want you.” You whispered, unable to look away from his eyes.

His lecherous eyes stared back at you, his fingers curling around your back as he brought you closer, now hovering above you.

“I want you too.”

In one swift movement, his cock was freed and he entered you, the new feeling causing you to cry out as he slowly bottomed out.

“Shit, you’re clenching like crazy baby.”

You couldn’t even reply, his thick shaft splitting you open, Satoru stared down at how you sucked him in, a creamy ring of your juices at the base of his cock. You felt him harden even more, he hadn’t wasted any time by helping you adjust. He started a rough pace, watching your perky tits bounce as he reached down and placed a nipple into his mouth. You were truly addicting, he thought, your whimpers becoming louder with the sticky sound of your cunt. Your pussy seemed to fit him like a glove, Satoru’s eyes wandered towards your soft tummy, at the faint bulge of his devouring and his eyes widened, using a hand to press against it and his ears welcomed your high pitched gasps.

“What’s the matter baby girl?” He cooed, chuckling at your stifled sobs and flushed cheeks.

“‘is too much...” You managed, barely able to communicate as he fucked you dumb.

You were so sexy, he thought.

You scooted away, his rough movements almost resulting in your head banging against the headboard but without missing a beat Satoru pulled you back, cock sinking into you with a new sensation.

“That’s not how this works, sweetheart. You’re gonna lie there and take it.”

His hands ghosted at your waist, using the soft tissue as a grip as he forcefully used your body, eyes unable to look away at how you took his thick, veiny member. Your pussy twitched as he licked a stripe at the side of your neck,

“Oh...you like that?” He muttered, sucking on your weak spot, he groaned when you tightened against him, knowing the tip of his cock was red and angry, your walls were too much.

You blink, eyes glossy and lips swollen from his kisses, Satoru’s marks were littered across your body, evidence of his ravishing as he continued his strong pace, cock driving into you with hunger. Your moans changed pitch,

“t’s...too much...can’t...too big.” You babbled, a new, insurmountable pleasure was ripping into your stomach.

“It’s too big?,”

Satoru wrapped his slender fingers around your neck, pressing down lightly as he smirked,

“I know.”

Your breath was slowly snatched from you as he gripped your neck harder, it somehow heightening the feeling of him around your cunt. His groans were turning you on, you always loved how vocal Satoru was.

Satoru paid attention to you, removing his hands and watching as you gasped for breaths. He grinned at how crazy your pussy went whenever he did that, he had really met his match. His cock twitched, indicating his nearing climax and you creamed shamelessly around him when his thumb lightly brushed your rosy clit. Your legs had gone to jelly at this point, but you securely clamped them around Satoru’s waist, bringing him even closer as your eyes closed in pleasurable agony.

“You gonna be a good girl and cum on my cock?” The way you cried and babbled nonsense, mouth messy with saliva as you drooled around his fingers, Satoru pressed at the pad of your tongue, cerulean eyes gleaming at where you connected. As he sinked into you again and again, the intemperate need to feel you squirt around him, he took your soft mounds into his mouth once more and before he knew it, you let out a long, drawn out moan as you found your release.

The white hot pleasure against your stomach snapped and as you orgasmed for the second time, a new warm sensation splashed against Satoru’s cock. Your juices dripped onto the bed, your pussy quivering and legs shaking as you rode it out.

“Fuck.” His azure eyes twinkled with amazement and you didn’t think he could possibly get any harder, as his member remained snug against your cunt.

Satisfied at your mess and how your slimy walls squeezed so torturously against him, Satoru’s own release was not far behind. With one last sound of pleasure, another warm feeling filled your pussy, spurts of the familiar white liquid spilling out of you as he slowed down his thrusts, emptying his balls into you with his repeated moans.

He pulled out, watching the results of his orgasm dribble onto his sheets. Using his fingers, he pushed the remaining liquid deep into you as a low moan escaped your lips. He brought his coated fingers to your mouth, and you licked them clean, humming against him.

As he hovered over you, his captivating eyes caught in the moonlight peaking through the curtains, illuminating his spacious room. He was so beautiful, you thought, mind now unclouded as your high disappeared. Instead, a lighter but warm feeling fluttered through you as Satoru bent down to give you butterfly kisses across your stomach.

“You’re gorgeous.” He whispered and he felt you smile against the top of his head, white tendrils tickling your nose as he placed himself on your tummy, careful not to crush you.

A comfortable silence lingered in the air, for the first time neither of you needed to fill it in with pointless words. You stroked his hair, content that he was still here and showing you affection even after sex, a concept new to the both of you.

After some time, with the both of you deep in thought about each other, Satoru’s head lifted and he made eye contact with you.

“I meant what I said earlier. I know this is new to the both of us so we can take it slow and I’ll probably fuck things up a few times but...I really do care about you, Y/N.”

Your eyes softened, as he glanced nervously at you. You had never seen him so vulnerable before and somehow it made you like him even more.

You extended your arm, your fingers tapping against his cheek,

“I care about you a lot too, Satoru. More than I’d like to admit.” You looked away, confused at how quickly the atmosphere changed from the desperate grappling of hands against skin to soft eyes and shy kisses. You were shy around him. You really did care about him but you also weren’t the best at articulating your thoughts, Satoru was always one upping you with his smooth talking.

His smile softened before his eyes changed, amusement dancing across his face.

“Well why wouldn’t you like me? I’m amazing.”

You rolled your eyes and pushed him away, his hands grabbing you and placing warm kisses around your neck. You melted into his touch, only now realising he hadn’t even properly undressed, unlike you who was completely bare.

He paused as you wriggled uncomfortably in the messy and slightly damp sheets, the both of you a tangle of limbs.

“Is this a bad time to ask if you’re on the pill?”

You stared at him.

“You are such an idiot.”

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #gojo satoru #gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo smut #jjk smut #gojo satoru smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you

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siriusmydeer · 4 years ago

Note

pov:ur drunk as shit and remus is tryna take care of u and make sure u don’t get hurt and ur just telling him that he’s ruining the fun and he tells u he’s just trying to make sure nothing goes wrong and he puts u to bed and it’s all cute n shit😚 thanks bestie✊ also i’m such a big fan, i literally look up to u🥰

taking care of you

remus lupin x gender neutral!reader

summary: remus takes care of you while you’re drunk.

word count: 1.2k

warnings: mentions of throwing up, mentions of smoking marijuana, mentions of alcohol, getting drunk and high, remus taking care of reader, swearing, kissing, pet names, fluff !

a/n: were literally on ft wym fan😐 and 2. the reader is wearing makeup so it could be implied fem but idrk?

��Bugger off, Remus.” You groaned, your eager hand sluggishly pushing at the Lycanthropes stiff torso. He snorted at your fatigued behaviours in the middle of the Gryffindor Common Room, the intense pungent scents of Cannabis and Firewhisky soaring through the dull air. After heartily partaking in drinking plenty of shots for the spectacled male’s birthday as it efficiently was a grand celebration in his eyes that, rightfully, deserved some smuggling of Alcohol.

Unfortunately, for you, as well as your moral dignity, Remus had inevitably found you indolently waving your arms (Terribly attempting to dance) among other students soothing their drinks and puffing a shortening blunt that the Hufflepuffs had supplied.

The first time Remus had wisely decided to seek and beckon you off to his dormitory was after you were sat upon the Vermillion loveseat and had inhaled the grey pungent smog, a scarlet tinge began to bloom in the ivory pigments of your irises after the smoke had that infested your lungs and swirled to your addled brain, a hazy sense taking over your optics as well as your senses.

As you persevered the blunt between your agile digits, the distinctive aroma seething through your lungs had escaped into your trachea causing frequent rasps to escape with difficulty from the carmine pit of your throat. As terribly embarrassing as it had undoubtedly felt post-coughing fit, you had jumped up upon one of the tables dramatically singing (Mind you; it was terrible singing) an ABBA track that was lingering through the wood as the baritones continued to spew from the magically induced speakers.

After your abrupt karaoke outburst that could’ve had sober peers intentionally throwing their overflowing cups at you, Marlene had finally beckoned you to the dance floor where Remus had discovered you dancing and shouting into oblivion; amid your unsober tangent, Remus had endeavoured to inevitably make you rest, but, you had mumbled incoherently about how he was ‘ruining James’ birthday fun.’ For genuinely wanting you to sleep soundly through a hangover like a normal human. But, he had only chuckled at your intoxicated insinuations.

“Bunny, I’m just trying to make sure you don’t get wounded!” He laughed once more as you continue to flail your arms around under the strobing lights that had varied between various hues. At his grip you began to whine, with a groan adamantly following when he grasped onto the curvature of your waist, essentially barricading your drastic movements. “But ‘m having s’much fun!” You slur in a mumble.

“‘M a big girl, don’t need your help” Your grumble is the least bit threatening as his brow raised counteractively. Removing his hands from your waist, he encased your cheeks in an enclasp causing a pinched expression to twist onto your intoxicated features, seemingly squishing your lips into a jutted point. Laughing at his actions as well as your contorted expression he placed a faint kiss to the tip of your nose before venturing to persuade you once more.

“If you come up to bed, I’ll buy you anything you want from Hogsmeade.”

“Remus you already do that when I’m sober.”

“If you don’t come to my dorm, I’ll throw you over my shoulder and bring you there myself.”

“You wouldn’t” Continuing to undoubtedly provoke him through your pout. He removed his hands from your face as well as beginning to slouch down to your level before you hastily backed away. “Fine, fine! If you carry me, I’ll puke!”As Remus instantly regained his height, he stretches out his hand, his warm tingling palms melds with your own whilst he hauls you towards the shallow staircase before your scrambled thoughts could change your mind.

“Have fun, Lupin!” A boisterous yell by the Gryffindor male is emitted through the common room, turning around abruptly he watches as Sirius promptly sends him a wink, merely receiving a lewd gesture of Remus’ finger as a response from the Lycanthrope. After forcibly returning you to his dormitory, you stumbled awkwardly upon his indigo trunk with a warm palm clutched frantically to your forehead, a light glaze of perspiration slick on your forehead.

“My head feels funny…” You slurred once the hazy shapes had begun to sufficiently clear from your vision.

“That’s what happens when you drink too much, Baby.”

“Shhh, too loud.” You carefully looked into his hazel optics unaccompanied by the usual reflection of auburn tones of mahogany and spring buds of viridescent, without the comforting hues of mocha brown and lincoln green that twinkled under the suns rays, you were bewildered as too why his optics were so dark in your bleared state, (Mind you the lights were off) While earnestly pressing your forefinger against his parched lips, it felt as if alphabet soup was stirred feebly in your disordered brain and pouring out of your lips.

“I’m— stomach hurts, head hurts, wanna cuddle.” You began to blubber out in delirium, completing your sentence by opening up your arms and expecting the boy to climb into your slouched arms.

“Gotta get you out of those clothes first.” Remus cooed, lifting you from his trunk which only emitted a tired moan from you. Naturally following a delicate kiss pressed to your forehead, he skillfully unlocked his trunk with one hand to pull out some clothes for you; his other having a heavy grip on your torso.

His palms intuitively grasping a loose Beatles T-Shirt additionally a pair of your night shorts you had left in his dormitory for when you slept there (Not without Sirius and James’ teasing as expected) After removing your uncomfortable shoes with a prominent stumble from you, he had begun to steadily dress you in more appropriate clothes to sleep in, his scent of vanilla soon about to enclose you in a warm clutched embrace.

“Could you go any slower?” After groaning for the umpteenth time, he chuckles, yet again, at your antics, “Would you like to spill your guts everywhere?”He inquires while tapping at your bum as a signal he had carefully finished dressing you.

“Oh fuck, I still have makeup on.” While mewling your sentence Remus had gently placed you upon on his bed, the woollen comforter tickling at your backside as you laid upon his bed to relieve the prodding agony that was tapdancing, like a dancer, around your skull. Snickering at your state, one of the faux eye-lashes glued to your lash line about to undoubtedly fall off your eye he retreated to the small bathroom that had been shared among the five boys with a slight shout, “Don’t go anywhere!”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” You replied bluntly in a grumble. He steadily padded back to his bed you were sprawled upon, your eyes promptly falling shut as he gently dragged the wipe against your features, his thumb running against the clean textures of your cheek. Grabbing his thumb, you gently pressed a chaste kiss to his palm, furtherly placing it upon your cheek. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Always, Bunny, always.” His lips began to quirk up at your gentle demeanour amid his soft gaze you naturally began to doze off in a befuddled formality. “C’mon, let’s get you in bed.” Removing the cerise quilt, he twisted you onto your side in case during the night you would require the position due to the alcohol flipping in your stomach.

After alternating his clothes into some comfortable ones he situated himself in a tangle of your legs and an arm wrapped around your waist. He carefully pressed a final kiss to the crown of your head whilst instantly removing the dishevelled hair that clung to your exposed neck. “Goodnight Baby.” He murmured tenderly, his prominent chin falling above your head. “Love you.”

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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years ago

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I’m a little late for week 17 (thanks to an inconveniently placed art block) but still managed to whip up something for the prompt - isn’t it wild that the beach kisses (or rather: make out sessions 😏😁) actually took place at night, until midnight (lightning hitting the tree), to be exact? (the movie kiss at sundown/dusk is gorgeous, though!)

As usual, my thoughts on chapters 22-24 are below the cut:

Chapter 22

Peeta drops the sheath and buries his knife into the monkey’s back, stabbing again and again until it releases its jaw. He kicks the mutt away, bracing for more. [...] “Come on, then! Come on!” shouts Peeta, panting with rage. - Here we see Peeta being aggressive/angry after witnessing someone getting hurt because of him (in this case, the morphling, but we’ve also seen a similar reaction during the Victory Tour of D11, with Peeta smashing some stuff and yelling after his act of rebellious kindness backfired inadvertently); also probably a hint of how he’s going to go absolutely beserk when Katniss destroys the Quarter Quell arena and he’s going to be worried out of his mind about her, leading to him overpowering and killing Brutus - But something has happened to the monkeys. They are withdrawing, backing up trees, fading into the jungle, as if some unheard voice calls them away. A Gamemaker’s voice, telling them this is enough. - Where they literally that close to the beach (and the invisible barrier of the horrors of this wedge) or did Plutarch interfere to give them a chance to get away?

I think of Rue, how maybe I could sing a song or something. But I don’t even know the morphling’s name, let alone if she likes songs. - I think it’s sweet that despite not having really formed a bond with the morphling, Katniss considers singing to her as a comforting gesture; also, in a way, this passage brings up how, for Peeta, the morphling’s death parallels what Rue’s death was to Katniss - I just know she’s dying. Peeta crouches down on the other side of her and strokes her hair. When he begins to speak in a soft voice, it seems almost nonsensical, but the words aren’t for me. - When Peeta talks, he never uses empty platitudes, but instead always says something that is geared towards the individual interests/needs of the person he’s talking to, which makes his speeches so personal and effective/moving; he must be very observant and intuitive to be able pick up on this sort of thing, even in unplanned situations such as this one - [...] The morphling stares into Peeta’s eyes, hanging on to his words.

The morphling seems mesmerized by Peeta’s words. Entranced. She lifts up a trembling hand and paints what I think might be a flower on Peeta’s cheek. “Thank you,” he whispers. “That looks beautiful.” For a moment, the morphling’s face lights up in a grin - Peeta makes this woman feel good in this last moment of her life 😭 He’s such a good person

“Why don’t you two get some rest?” I say. “I’ll watch for a while.” “No, Katniss, I’d rather,” says Finnick. I look in his eyes, at his face, and realize he’s barely holding back tears. Mags. The least I can do is give him the privacy to mourn her. “All right, Finnick, thanks,” I say. - Katniss is being very considerate of Finnick and his feelings here

“Don’t scratch,” I say, wanting badly to scratch myself. But I know it’s the advice my mother would give. “You’ll only bring infection.” [...] The sight of my fingernails, caked with blood, stops me. I’ve been scratching my skin raw in my sleep. “You know, if you scratch you’ll bring on infection,” says Finnick. “That’s what I’ve heard,” I say. - I love Katniss and Finnick’s bickering; they have such a fun friendship-dynamic!

Really, the combination of the scabs and the ointment looks hideous. I can’t help enjoying his distress. “Poor Finnick. Is this the first time in your life you haven’t looked pretty?” I say. “It must be. The sensation’s completely new. How have you managed it all these years?” he asks. - As I’ve been saying 😂 It’s so playful and fun

We slather ourselves down, even taking turns rubbing the ointment into each other’s back where the undershirts don’t protect our skin. “I’m going to wake Peeta,” I say. “No wait,” says Finnick. “Let’s do it together. Put our faces right in front of his.” Well, there’s so little opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We position ourselves on either side of Peeta, lean over until our faces are inches from his nose, and give him a shake. “Peeta. Peeta, wake up,” I say in a soft, singsong voice. His eyelids flutter open and then he jumps like we’ve stabbed him. “Aa!” Finnick and I fall back in the san, laughing our heads off. [...] By the time we pull ourselves together, I’m thinking that maybe Finnick Odair is all right. - They are becoming friends! yay! This scene is so funny, I’m sad it didn’t make it into the movie

And just as I’ve come to this conclusion, a parachute lands next to us with a fresh loaf of bread. Remembering from last year how Haymitch’s gifts are often timed to send a message, I make a note to myself. Be friends with Finnick. You’ll get food. - Haymitch and Katniss again with the nonverbal communication - Finnick turns the bread over in his hands, examining the crust. A bit too possessively. It’s not necessary. It’s got that green tint from seaweed that bread from District 4 always has. - I wonder whether the D4 bread was like a token of respect/sympathy over Mags’s death or a secret message that our trio should wait by the beach (since there will be more silent communication of the rebellion via bread (!) further down the line and D4 has this connotation with water)

Three figures, about two spokes away, stumbling onto the beach. [...] The trio’s in a bad shape - you can see that right off. One is being practically dragged out by a second, and the third wanders in loopy circles, as if deranged. They’re a solid brick-red color, as if they’ve been dipped in paint and left out to dry. - Knowing that this red “paint” is blood... yikes 😖- [...] The dragger stamps the ground in frustration and, in an apparent fit of temper, turns and shoves the circling, deranged one over. Finnick’s face lights up. “Johanna!” he calls, and runs for the red things. - Lol, Finnick recognizes Johanna via her body language of being an asshole 😂

When we reach them, Johanna’s gesturing toward the jungle and talking very fast to Finnick. “We thought it was rain, you know, because of the lightning, and we were all so thirsty. But when it started coming down, it turned out to be blood. Thick, hot blood. You couldn’t see, you couldn’t speak without getting a mouthful.” - Horrifiying and gross 🤢😧

she [Wiress] careens into Johanna, who harshly shoves her to the beach. “Just stay down, will you?” “Lay off her, “ I snap. - Katniss, always stepping in for the defenseless - Johanna narrows her brown eyes at me in hatred. “Lay off her?” she hisses. She steps forward before I can react and slaps me so hard I see stars. “Who do you think got them out of that bleeding jungle for you? You-” Finnick tosses her writhing body over his shoulder and carries her out into the water and repeatedly dunks her while she screams a lot of really insulting things at me. But I don’t shoot. Because she’s with Finnick and because of what she said, about getting them for me. - Finnick getting Johanna away before she lets slip too much, but Katniss picking up on it regardless... Also love how Katniss doesn’t harm Johanna because she knows that she’s Finnick’s friend and Katniss now likes and respects Finnick

Beetee’s clothes are glued to him with blood, so Peeta holds him in the water while I loosen them. It takes some time to get the jumpsuit off, and then we find his undergarments are saturated with blood as well. There’s no choice but to strip him naked to get him clean, but I have to say this doesn’t make much of an impression on me anymore. Our kitchen table’s been full of so many naked men this year. You kind of get used to it after a while. - Katniss being a lot less awkward about nakedness (at least as long as it’s in a clinical/medical context) says a lot about how bad the circumstances in D12 must have been, though

I look over at the jungle. I bet there’s a whole pharmacy in there if I knew how to use it. But these aren’t my plants. Then I think about the moss Mags gave me to blow my nose. “Be right back,” I tell Peeta. Fortunately the stuff seems to be pretty common in the jungle. I rip an armful from the nearby trees and carry it back to the beach. I make a thick pad out of the moss, place it on Beetee’s cut, and secure it by tying vines around his body. We get some water into him and then pull him into the shade at the edge of the jungle. “I think that’s all we can do,” I say. “It’s good. You’re good with this healing stuff,” he says. “It’s in your blood.” “No, “ I say, shaking my head. - I think Katniss is selling herself way too short here; she might not be a more-or-less professional healer like her mom and Prim, but she’s very observant and quick to figure out what could be useful and how to use alternatives when you don’t have medical equipment at hand, which is very useful and doesn’t necessarily come naturally to everybody -“I got my father’s blood.” The kind that quickens during the hunt, not an epidemic. - She definitely does take more after her father, but I can’t help but wonder if Katniss doesn’t sometimes ignore what she has gotten from her mom (probably from the resentment resulting from her mom’s neglect due to her depression)

I [...] join Wiress in the shallows. She doesn’t resist as I work off her clothing, scrub the blood from her skin. But her eyes are dilated with fear, and when I speak, she doesn’t respond except to say with ever-increasing urgency, “Tick, tock.” She does seem to be trying to tell me something, but with no Beetee to explain her thoughts, I’m at a loss. “Yes, tick, tock. Tick, tock,” I say. This seems to calm her down a little. I wash out her jumpsuit until there’s hardly a trace of blood, and help her back into it. [...] For a while, Johanna gulps water and stuffs herself with shellfish while I try to coax something into Wiress. - Katniss might not be a healer, but she is definitely a caretaker as we can see here with her patiently and carefully taking care of a shocked/confused Wiress, making sure Wiress is clean and fed, and also trying to make her feel better

Finnick tells about the fog and the monkeys in a detached, almost clinical voice, avoiding the most important detail of the story. - I think it’s fairly common for people who have just experienced a traumatic event to relay said event in a very detached manner, as the experience hasn’t really had time to sink in yet

“So what were you doing with Nuts and Volts?” I ask. “I told you - I got them for you. Haymitch said if we were to be allies I had to bring them to you,” says Johanna. “That’s what you told him, right?” - Did Haymitch pretend like he was ‘working’ in Katniss’s (and Peeta`s?) name or did Johanna and the other victors just assume that Katniss and Peeta were in on the whole rebellion-thing, at least to some degree?

“Tick, tock,” whispers Wiress. I guide her in front of me and get her to lie down, stroking her arm to soothe her. She drifts off, stirring restlessly, occasionally sighing out her phrase. “Tick, tock.” “Tick, tock,” I agree softly. “It’s time for bed. Tick, tock. Go to sleep.”- Katniss is so sweet

Twelve bongs last night. Like it was midnight. Then lightning. The sun overhead now. Like it’s noon. And lightning. Slowly I rise up and survey the arena. The lightning there. In the next pie wedge over came the blood rain, where Johanna, Wiress, and Beetee were caught. We would have been in the third section, right next to that, when the fog appeared. And as soon as it was sucked away, the monkeys began to gather in the fourth. Tick, tock. [...] “Oh,” I say under my breath. [...] “Tick tock, This is a clock.” - Love how Katniss figures out the arena! She’s very smart and methodical

Chapter 23

A memory struggles to surface in my brain. I see a clock. No, it’s a watch, resting in Plutarch Heavensbee’s palm. “It starts at midnight,” Plutarch said. And then my mockingjay lit up briefly and vanished. In restrospect, it’s like he was giving me a clue about the arena. But why would he? At the time, I was no more a tribute in these Games than he was. Maybe he thought it would help me as a mentor. Or maybe this had been the plan all along. - Katniss is on to something here... Considering how suspicious she was of the content of the envelope revealing the special peculiarity of this Quarter Quell being too convenient for the present political situation, it’s not that far fetched that the victors being the next tributes was already decided upon (or at least in the talks), don’t you think, Katniss?

Beetee’s still pretty out of it, but when Peeta tries to lift him, he objects. - Should you be the one to carry Beetee, Peeta? It’s not like you almost died yesterday or anything like that - “Wire,” he says. “She’s right here,” Peeta tells him. “Wiress is fine. She’s coming, too.” - ‘Course Peeta would assume that Beetee would be thinking about his district partner, good bean that he is

“Oh, I know what he [Beetee] wants,” says Johanna impatiently. [...] “This worthless thing. it’s some kind of wire or something. [...] I don’t know what kind of weapon it’s supposed to be. I guess you could pull off a piece and use it as a garrote or something. But really, can you imagine Beetee garroting somebody?” “He won his Games with wire. Setting up that electrical trap,” says Peeta. “It’s the best weapon he could have.” - Peeta’s meticulous preparation is paying off! - There’s something odd about Johanna not putting this together. Something doesn’t quite ring true. Suspicious. - Katniss, of course, is immediately suspicious of Johanna. Very on-brand ^^ But also: was the escape route out of the arena already clear between the rebelling victors (sans Peeta and Katniss, of course)? Do you think that Johanna is playing up her cluelessness here not just to conceal their plan from the audience, but also to test whether Peeta and Katniss are in the know? (Do you think that she’s got a suspicion after Katniss had asked her why she’s hanging out with Beetee and Wiress, that maybe the Mockingjay had no idea what was going on?)

Yes, it’s great to have allies, as long as you can ignore the thought that you’ll have to kill them. [...] Johanna, frankly, I could easily kill if it came down to protecting Peeta. Or maybe even just to shut her up. What I really need is for someone to take out Finnick for me, since I don’t think I can do it personally. Not after all he’s done for Peeta. I think about maneuvering him into some kind of encounter with the Careers. It’s cold, I know. But what are my options? - Katniss knows that can’t kill Finnick because they’ve become sorta friends by now

Because this is so repellent to think about, my mind frantically tries to change topics. But the only thing that distracts me from my current situation is fantasizing about killing President Snow. Not very pretty daydreams for a seventeen-year-old girl, I guess, but very satsfying. - Well, at least she’s aware of how effed up this is? 😅

Suddenly Wiress stands up very straight and points to the jungle. “Two,” she says. I follow her finger to where the wall of fog has just begun to seep out onto the beach. “Yes, look, “Wiress is right. It’s two o`clock and the fog has started.” “Like clockwork,” says Peeta. “You were very smart to figure that out, Wiress.” Wiress smiles and goes back to singing and dunking her coil. - So, Peeta and Katniss have just become the very supportive parents of Wiress, huh ? ;)

“She [Wiress] can sense things before anyone else. Like a canary in one of your coal mines.” “What’s that?” Finnick asks me. “It’s a bird that we take down into the mines to warn us if there’s bad air,” I say. “What’s it do, die?” asks Johanna. “It stops singing first. That’s when you should get out. But if the air’s too bad, it dies, yes. And so do you.” I don’t want to talk about dying songbirds. They bring up thoughts of my father’s death and Rue’s death and Maysiliee Donner’s death and my mother inheriting her songbird. - Wow, songbirds really pervade Katniss’s world/story, huh?

I realize it’s just another disadvantage the District 12 tributes have faced over the years. We don’t go down in the mines until we’re eighteen. It looks like most of the other tributes learn something about their trades early on. There are things you do in a mine that could come in handy in the Games. Wielding a pick. Blowing things up. Give you an edge. The way my hunting did. But we learn them too late. - I wonder why D12 seems like the only district in which child labor is not an integral part of the work force (we know definitely that in D8 and D11 kids also have to work, and Finnick and Johanna’s skill suggest that the same applies to D4 and D7, and probably D3 as well)? It’s not that children working in mines is unheard of (sadly enough) - in that way, Peeta and Katniss had a huge advantage that they both had been involved in their parents’ trade to some degree

I look over his [Peeta’s] shoulder and see he’s creating a map of the arena. - I’m probably reading way too much into this, but I think it’s interesting that Peeta is the one to create something that helps you navigate your world - he’s always the one giving people a sense of direction

We all nod in agreement, and that’s when I notice it. The silence. Our canary has stopped singing. - such a cool metaphorical device that was set up and then paid off in this chapter, tbh

Finnick knocks away a spear Brutus throws at Peeta and takes Enobaria’s knife in his thigh. - Finnick’s really been watching over Peeta from the start; he’s such a good bro

That’s when I remember the wire and how important it was to him [Beetee]. I look frantically around. Where is it? Where is it? And then I see it, still clutched in Wiress’s hands, far out in the water. [...] As I tread water, I have to wrench the coil of wire from her fingers, because her final grip on it is so tight. - reminds me of Katniss getting the bow and arrows from Glimmer in the other Games; she always has to pry crucial weapons/tools from someone’s dead hands 🙁 - There’s nothing I can do then but close her eyelids, whisper good-bye, and swim away. - It’s kind that Katniss takes the time to say good-bye to Wiress, despite everything that’s going on

Finnick’s gotten Beetee back alive, although a little waterlogged, sitting up and snorting out water. He had the good sense to hang on to his glasses, so at least he can see. - You know, it’s actually surprising that Beetee wears glasses; as a victor, I’m sure he could have easily gotten some eye surgery or whatever in the Capitol - maybe that was his form of rebellion against the Capitol early on, like Chaff refusing to get a prosthetic in place of his missing hand

I look at the others’ sober faces. Now Finnick, Johanna, and Beetee have all lost their district partners. I cross to Peeta and wrap my arms around him - 😭

“I should have never mentioned the clock,” I say bitterly. “Now they’ve taken that advantage away as well.” “Only temporarily,” says Beetee. “At ten, we’ll see the wave again an be back on track.” “Yes, they can’t redesign the whole arena,” says Peeta. “It doesn’t matter,” says Johanna impatiently. “You had to tell us or we never would have moved our camp in the first place, brainless.” Ironically, her logical, if demeaning, reply is the only one that comforts me. - I think you could argue that Beetee’s (and Peeta’s) reply was rooted in logic as well, but Johanna is definitely the one who would never say something nice and comforting just because, so I guess that’s what comforts Katniss here; in general, Katniss seems to be much more receptive to logical reasoning than empty words for comfort (an approach Peeta will also employ in the next chapter, after the jabberjays, to calm and soothe Katniss)

As I stand there, weapons ready, I can’t lose the uneasy feeling that something is going on and that it has to do with Peeta. [...] There is no question about it. For reasons completely unfathomable to me, some of the other victors are trying to keep him alive, even if it means sacrificing themselves. - Does this have anything to do with Coin wanting Peeta rather than Katniss? Or is it more of an insuring that Katniss would be a more willing participant in the rebellion as long as Peeta’s around and alive? Maybe a bit of both, since they are kind of a package deal - I’m dumbfounded. For one thing, that’s my job. - lol, possessive Katniss - For another, it doesn’t make sense. Only one of us can get out. So why have they chosen Peeta to protect? [...] I know my own reasons for keeping Peeta alive. He’s my friend, and this is my way to defy the Capitol, to subvert its terrible Games. But if I had no real ties to him, what would make me want to save him, to choose him over myself? - as usual, Katniss always considers more personal reasons first, before she moves on to the bigger picture; her close, personal relationships are always her driving motivational force and only then, does she consider the more abstract, bigger picture: - [...] and then I think of it, what Peeta can do so much better that then rest of us. He can use words. He obliterated the rest of the field at both interviews. And maybe it’s because of that underlying goodness that he can move a crowd - no, a country - to his side with the turn of a simple sentence. I remember thinking that was the gift the leader of our revolution should have.

Chapter 24

Prim makes a sound - such a lost, irretrievable sound - that I can’t even imagine what they have done to evoke it. “Prim!” I rip through a wall of green into a small clearing and the sound repeats directly above me. - Poor Katniss, she’s in a complete frenzy after hearing the screams that are supposedly from Prim 🙁 - [...] “Prim?” I say pleadingly. I hear her but can’t see her. Her next wail rings out. It’s coming from the mouth of a small, crested black bird perched on a branch about ten feet over my head. And then I understand. It’s a jabberjay. [...] I silence it with an arrow in its throat. The bird falls to the ground. I remove my arrow and wring its neck for good measure. - Kind of interesting how in the last chapter, plenty of songbirds were mentioned with a more or less positive connotation (canary = warning sign, mockingjay/Rue = something innocent and fragile, Maysilee Donner’s bird = memento of a dead friend, Mockingjay = rebellion/freedom), only for this chapter to bring back a bird that has been created for spying on the rebels until the rebels used its abilities against the Capitol, only now to be used as a torture device against the symbol of the rebellion (Katniss/the victors) again

The piercing shriek cuts me off. It’s another voice, not Prim’s, maybe a young woman’s. I don’t recognize it. But the effect on Finnick is instantaneous. The color vanishes from his face and I can actually see his pupils dilate in fear. “Finnick, wait!” I say, reaching out to reassure him, but he’s bolted away. Gone off in pursuit of the victim, as mindlessly as I pursued Prim. “Finnick!” I call, but I know he won’t turn back and wait for me to give a rational explanation. So all I can do is follow him. - It’s moment like these that really open Katniss’s eyes to the fact that Finnick isn’t that different from her after all; like Katniss, he has built a facade to hide behind, to conceal how deeply he cares for some people in his life - unlike Katniss’s aloof loner-persona, he has adopted some shallow swagger - but there are always some small moments during which their facades become more transparent (Katniss with Peeta hitting the force field, Finnick freaking out hearing Annie’s screams) and both Finnick and Katniss realize that the other actually feels a lot more and deeply than they are letting on - and these moments are super crucial for them to starting to like and respect each other, causing their relationship to grow

when I slide down to join him, he looks more despairing than ever. “It’s all right, Finnick. It’s just a jabberjay. They’re playing a trick on us,” I say. “It’s not real. It’s not your... Annie.” - It’s sweet how Katniss is trying to comfort Finnick - “No, it’s not Annie. But the voice was hers. Jabberjays mimic what they hear. Where did they get those screams, Katniss?” he says. I can feel my own cheeks grow pale as I understand his meaning. “Oh, Finnick, you don’t think they...” “Yes. I do. That’s exactly what I think,” he says. [...] My knees turn to water and I sink to the ground. Finnick is trying to tell me something, but I can’t hear him. [...] He starts pulling me downhill, toward the beach. “We’re getting out of here!” [...] He moves me along, half dragging, half carrying me, until I can proces what he said. - After bringing up his doubts/fears, which in turn increase Katniss’s worries and fears, Finnick is trying to take care of Katniss - I love their friendship so much 😢

we will be trapped like rats until the hour passes. Peeta presses his hand against the surface and I put my own up to meet it, as if I can feel him through the wall. I see his lips moving but I can’t hear him, can’t hear anything outside our wedge. I try to make out what he’s saying, but I can’t focus, so I just stare at his face, doing my best to hang on to my sanity. - touching hands through the barrier 😭 Katniss focussing on Peeta’s face to keep a grip on her sanity 😭😭

finally I give up and curl up beside Finnick, trying to block out the excruciating sounds of Prim, Gale, my mother, Madge, Rory, Vick, even Posy, helpless little Posy... - I’ve said it before: for a supposed “loner”, Katniss sure has a lot of people she cares about (love how Madge is being mentioned! And, of course, all of the Hawthorne children 😢)

I know it’s stopped when I feel Peeta’s hands on me, feel myself lifted from the ground and out of the jungle. But I stay eyes squeezed shut, hands over my ears, muscles too rigid to release, Peeta holds me on his lap, speaking soothing words, rocking me gently. It takes a long time before I begin to relax the iron grip on my body. And when I do, the trembling begins. “It’s all right, Katniss,” he whispers. - It takes Katniss so much longer to somewhat recover from this jarring experience than the movies have time to establish - the severity of her reaction in this passage just really drives home how horrible it was for Katniss; and Peeta comforting her throughout just further established how he is her rock

“Katniss, Prim isn’t dead. How could they kill Prim? We’re almost down to the final eight of us. And what happens then?” Peeta says. “Seven more of us die,” I say hopelessly. - Katniss perspective is all dark and gloomy, she has lost her hope; luckily, Peeta is there to restore it, as usual - “No, back home. What happens when they reach the final eight tributes in the Games?” He lifts my chin so I have to look at him. Forces me to make eye contact. “What happens? At the final eight?” I know he’s trying to help me, so I make myself think. “At the final eight?” I repeat. “They interview your family and friends back home.” “That’s right,” says Peeta. “They interview your family and friends. And can they do that if they’ve killed them all?” “No?” I ask, still unsure. “No.” - Love how Peeta doesn’t just tell Katniss about the interviews but actually makes her figure it out herself; he doesn’t throw around empty phrases like “everything is going to be okay” but instead uses a rational and logical approach - reminds me a bit of socratic dialogue, an approach used in cognitive behavioral therapy to have the patient work out cognitive distortions and distorted assumptions by asking naive questions and forcing the patient themselves to figure out which of their assumptions are irrational and contradictory

“You really believe that?” I say. “I really do,” says Peeta. I waver, thinking of how Peeta can make anyone believe anything. [...] “Do you believe it, Finnick?” I ask. “It could be true. I don’t know,” he says. “Could they do that, Beetee? Take someone’s regular voice and make it...” “Oh, yes. It’s not even that difficult, Finnick. Our children learn a similar technique in school,” says Beetee. - It’s interesting how Katniss involves Finnick for a second opinion (their relationship has come so far!) and how Finnick reaches out to Beetee for information (since they’ve been victors for some time, they know each other better) - with their combined social support/network, they manage to calm down enough to be able to move on

I need to clean up, too, but I stay in Peeta’s arms, still too shaken to move. - Katniss still needs some time to recover in the safety of Peeta’s arms 😭 - “Who did they use against Finnick?” he asks. “Somebody named Annie,” I say. “Must be Annie Cresta,” he says. “Who?” I ask. “Annie Cresta. She was the girl Mags volunteered for. She won about five years ago,” says Peeta. - Peeta’s preparation is really paying off (and is a good way to get some exposition in)

“Did she [Annie] get better after?“ I ask. “I mean, her mind?” “I don’t know. I don’t remember ever seeing her at the Games again. She didn’t look too stable during the reaping this year,” says Peeta. So that’s who Finnick loves, I think. Not his string of fancy lovers in the Capitol. But a poor, mad girl back home. - At this point, Katniss can’t help but to respect and like Finnick, now that she knows that he is so much more than the superficial flirt he pretends to be

Two-thirds of us [tributes] gone in a day and a half. That must be some kind of record. “They’re really burning through us,” says Johanna. - Telling how fast they are losing people in this arena; doubt that it’s merely for the ‘entertainment’ of the audience... - “Who’s left? Besides us five and District Two?” asks Finnick. “Chaff,” says Peeta, without needing to think about it. Perhaps he’s been keeping an eye out for him because of Haymitch. - Y’all ever think how Haymitch might be seeing this moment, Peeta keeping track of his friend, and feeling bad that he (Haymitch) is involved in all these plots behind Peeta and Katniss’s backs, after everything these three have been through?

A parachute comes down with a pile of bite-sized square-shaped rolls. “These are from your district, right, Beetee?” Peeta asks. - You know you’re right, bread boy ;) - “Yes, from District Three,” he says. “How many are there?” Finnick counts them, turning each one over in his hands before he sets it in a neat configuration. I don’t know what it is with Finnick and bread, but he seems obsessed with handling it. “Twenty-four,” he says. - 24:00: “It starts at midnight”, huh? Also Katniss’s remark on Finnick’s obsession with the bread is kinda hilarious - it’s not like bread hasn’t played an important role for her as well (the first loaves from Peeta, the one from D11, later the cheese buns and so on)

Peeta and I sit on the damp sand, facing away from each other, my right shoulder and hip pressed against his. - always connected to each other -[...] After a while I rest my head against his shoulder. Feel his hand caress my hair. - this is so soft, I can’t 🥺 - “Katniss,” he says softly, “it’s no use pretending we don’t know what the other one is trying to do.” No, I guess there isn’t, but it’s no fun discussing it, either. - lol, typical that Peeta’s the first one to bring up an unpleasant (if albeit important) thing to talk about; he’s definitely the bigger communicator in this relationship (it’s worth mentioning that Katniss is not per se against addressing their issue here - she just knows that it’s going to be a bummer and would rather enjoy the time they still have left together)

“Why are you saying this now?” “Because I don’t want you forgetting how different our circumstances are. If you die, and I live, there’s no life for me at all back in District Twelve. You’re my whole life,” he says. “I would never be happy again.” I start to object but he puts a finger to my lips. “It’s different for you. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be hard. But there are other people who’d make your life worth living.” - Katniss is going to hint at the jabberjays in just a moment and I can’t help but wonder whether this particular Capitol-created horror might also have influenced Peeta’s speech here - whose voice, besides Katniss’s, who was already with him in the arena, would he have heard? He saw how absolutely shaken she was to hear these screams, but does Peeta have a connection with anyone (aside from Katniss) that would rattle him as intensely as it did Katniss?? The jabberjays probably just reinforced his decision that Katniss must survive (not to say that Peeta wouldn’t care hearing his friends and family members’ screams - he’s a pretty empathetic guy - but he just doesn’t have any personal relationship as close and loving as Katniss has with her (extended) family - Peeta pulls the chain with the gold disk from around his neck. [...] It’s [...] a locket. And within the locket are photos. [...] There is nothing in the world that could break me faster at this moment than these three faces. After what I heard this afternoon... it is the perfect weapon. - Peeta just knows you really well, Katniss, doesn’t he?

“Your family needs you, Katniss,” Peeta says. My family. My mother. My sister. And my pretend cousin Gale. But Peeta’s intention is clear. That Gale is my family, or will be one day, if I live. That I’ll marry him. So Peeta’s giving me his life and Gale’s at the same time. [...] Everything. That’s what Peeta wants me to take from him. - Jeez, that boy is so giving, to the point where he completely disregards himself; because he doesn’t have any super close relationships, he feels like his life is worth less although he’s the sweetest boy ever; it’s sad 😢 Also, not to bash Gale or anything, but Gale’s salty jealousy over Katniss being forced to be engaged to Peeta against her will vs. Peeta basically giving his blessing for Katniss to be with Gale after his own death, no hard feelings, is a super stark contrast of how the boys handle this supposed love triangle (I know, I know, Gale is just nineteen years old, I’m not blaming him - Peeta’s emotional maturity is just through the roof, y’know?)

“No one really needs me,” he says, and there’s no self-pity in his voice. It’s true his family doesn’t need him. They will mourn him, as will a handful of friends. But they will get on. Even Haymitch, with the help of a lot of white liquor, will get on. I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me. - Gosh, Peeta’s line here just always break my heart 😭 He’s like the kid that people enjoy having around when he’s hanging out with the group, but nobody seems to miss when he’s gone - it’s a shitty feeling... Peeta truly deserves someone who makes him feel loved and needed (which is why he and Katniss fit together so well)

“I do,” I say. “I need you.” He looks upset, takes a deep breath as if to begin a long argument, - Peeta, at this point you really shouldn’t be that surprised that Katniss is going to fight you on that point - do you remember how badly she freaked out when you hit that force field? - and that’s no good, no good at all, because he’ll start going on about Prim and my mother and everything and I’ll just get confused. So before he can talk, I stop his lips with a kiss. I feel that thing again. The thing I only felt once before. In the cave last year, when I was trying to get Haymitch to send us food. [...] there was only one kiss that made me feel something stir deep inside. Only one that made me want more. But my head wound started bleeding and he made me lie down. This time, there is nothing but us to interrupt us. - Aaaaagh, my heartttt!!!! 😭

He [Finnick] sits up with a sharp cry. I see his fingers digging into the sand as he reassures himself that whatever nightmare he inhabitated wasn’t real. - Poor Finnick! 😢 Also, another instance of the issue of horrors being real/not real, which is going to become a lot more important in the next book - “I can’t sleep anymore,” he says. “One of you should rest.” Only then does he seem to notice our expressions, the way we’re wrapped around each other. “Or both of you. “I can watch alone.” - If Katniss’s reaction to Peeta hitting the force field hadn’t already opened Finnick’s eyes about everlark’s relationship, this moment might have done it just as well ^^

I let him [Peeta] lead me over to where the others are. - She could have totally walked there herself, but instead they wanted to have one more moment 😩💕- He puts the chain with the locket around my neck, then rests his hand over the spot where our baby would be. “You’re going to make a great mother, you know,” he says. He kisses me one last time and goes back to Finnick. His reference to the baby signals that our time-out from the Games is over. That he knows the audience will be wondering why he hasn’t used the most persuasive argument in his arsenal. That sponsors must be manipulated. - I like how Peeta clearly signaled that now it’s back to playing it up for the audience, implying that everything he said before was him being honest and real with Katniss (just because he’s excellent at manipulating doesn’t mean he’d misuse these skills on Katniss - our boy has some integrity!)

if only one of us can be a parent, anyone can see it should be Peeta. As I drift off, I try to imagine that world, somewhere in the future, with no Games, no Capitol. A place like the meadow in the song I sang to Rue as she died. Where Peeta’s child could be safe. - Hey, that’s going to happen, Katniss!!! And even better: Peeta’s child - or rather: children - are going to be yours as well! 😊🥰

#thgagain #thg #thg meta #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #everlark #finnick odair #thg fanart #my sketches and drawings #catching fire #I'm not too happy with my drawing this week but at least I finished it

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notmagicalstudents · 2 years ago

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TwstOber 2022: Day 11-Alchemy

Here’s the original TwstOber 2022 list: https://www.tumblr.com/raven-at-the-writing-desk/696367913180053504/its-almost-that-time-of-year-again-the-month-of

Note: TECHNICALLY this is out on Day 12, but I was already finishing this up. I was also busy today, so there was that. Anyway, hopefully the actual Day 12 will come out later on today.

There were plenty of people around to ask if you needed help with homework. Unfortunately, Ambrosia doesn’t exactly like to ask things from people from this school. It’s mainly due to the fact that it’s annoying. What’s the point in learning something new if you always need someone else to tell you what you need to learn? Unless she was with her group or in the classroom, she would just study the material on her own and hopefully understand it enough. However, this particular assignment was giving her trouble. It is a potion that manifests emotions. Simple enough if she could figure out exactly how to make it.

So here she was, in the alchemy lab trying over and over again to make this work. But no matter how much she was following the steps and ingredients, nothing seemed to be working. She observed the boiling pot of dark liquid in front of her. What exactly was she doing wrong? Was she measuring the ingredients wrong? Did she put too much in? Too little?

“Is that Reine des Neiges?~” A familiar sing-song voice rang out in the empty lab. She couldn’t help the annoyed sigh coming from her as she looked up at the owner.

“Rook. What do you want?” she asked the blonde haired boy. He just casually laughs.

“You waste no time in getting to the point, little snow angel. It’s one of the many things I like about you.” he continues on as he walks over to her. She never understood Rook Hunt. A man who talks about his admiration for literally everything, even as a supposedly deadly hunter. He’s full of mysteries that he doesn’t want anyone to know about. It gives off some sketchy vibes, yet he’s kept around in other people’s presence anyway. “I was wondering why the alchemy classroom was being used, so I wanted to see who was in here. To my pleasant surprise, it was you.” he explains.

“Right…” If there was one thing she knew about him, it is that he is a great liar. He most likely knew she was in here and just wanted to figure out what she was doing. Like the stalker he is. “I’m glad to have answered your curiosity. Now I need to finish this project up-”

“A project?” he interrupts her, suddenly beside her. He was looking through the open potions book she had. “I see. I remember this when I was a freshman: a simple potion, in hindsight.” She honestly has no idea if he was making fun of her or not. She knows that she always keeps to herself, but he was way more meticulous about it. His green eyes switched to her, a teasing smile on his face. “You seem to be struggling with it.” he simply states. It clearly wasn’t a question.

“What makes you say that?” she asks him, even though she knows the answer. Rook was the only one that could figure out what she was feeling, no matter how hard she tried.

“Hunter’s intuition.”

“That’s just your excuse.” she says simply, making him chuckle. This doesn’t make him move over or give any indication that he’ll leave her alone. Even if somehow she did convince him to leave, chances were he would still be watching her from somewhere. “...If that was the case, then perhaps your experience could answer why I can’t get this to work.” she finally says. The satisfied smile on his face was overwhelming.

“¡Tres bien!” he says cheerily. “It’s quite simple what you are missing, mon ami.”

“Which is?”

“You need to feel a powerful emotion.” A few seconds go by after his answer. She just stares at him. Deadpan.

“If you just wanted to insult me, you should have brought Vil with you.” she says before fully ignoring the man, focusing only on the book. She can hear an exasperated sigh come from him.

“I would never do that to you, my Reine des Neiges! Especially bringing dear Vil in such a foul scheme!” he responds, overdramatic as always. “Non, non. You misunderstand, my dear.”

“I don’t know how I could interpret that in any other way, Rook.” she says plainly. She expected him to say something after that, but.. He strangely kept quiet. Did he finally leave? She didn’t hear his footsteps, but that wouldn’t be the first time he would walk around without making a sound. She was about to look up when she suddenly felt two hands land on her shoulders. She was startled, but barely jumped. “Rook, why did you-” Before she could finish, the boiling liquid suddenly popped, spewing out magenta smoke. What in the world?

“There we go.” Rook whispers, very close to her ear. “You had done everything right, but you were so focused on making the potion that you forgot what it was supposed to do. Such dedication is admirable, Reine des Neiges.” He says it so casually, like he was teaching her. In a way, he did help her like she “suggested”. Of course, not in a normal way like anyone else would, but she never expected normal from him anyway. The white-haired girl hears him chuckling.

“What are you laughing about?” she asks him.

“When I did this experiment before, the color of the smoke was also magenta,” he explains. “That was the day when Vil and I became friends. Such an exciting and warm feeling. I wonder if that’s how you feel right now.”

“Accomplished that I finally got this done.” she answers, looking back at him. “So thank you for that.”

“Of course, Cherie.” Rook responds with a smile.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #twst #twst oc #twstober #twstober2022 #rook hunt

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haifengg · 4 years ago

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Driving With (Some Of) The JJK Boys

Summary: or “Why driving with all of them is less fun than you might think.”

Characters: Gojo, Megumi, Itadori, Nanami, Todo, Toji

Genre: Comedy // Fluff // Toji’s part contains spoiler from later manga chapters! I put it in the end on purpose.

Warning: Bad driving ahead. Also please don’t think this is what responsible driving looks like.

-> Itadori. For starters he has a surprisingly good orientation. He doesn’t use a navigation system or maps, he just intuitively knows where to go. When you’re driving and you’re going the wrong way - he will tell you. But not actually explain why he thinks or knows it. That is pretty much the upside when driving with Yuuji. On the downside … he is just as fearless as he is clueless. Both to an extreme extend. He drives like an innocent maniac. After just a few minutes in the car with him you start to wonder who the hell got him that license because to you it seems like he won it in the lottery. He goes at extreme speeds whenever he is allowed to and ignores an alarming high count of stop signs.

When you ask him about it he says it is going to be alright because he never hit anything. Or anyone. And by the time he does you are very welcome to take the steering wheel. After a quick negotiation the ‘hit anything’ turned into ‘run a red light’ and about ten minutes later you ended up in the drivers seat.

-> Kento. You think he obey the Traffic Regulations come hell or high water: You are wrong. To your surprise Nanami is actually quite a relaxed driver. Going somewhere after work he rolls up his sleeves and thrums his fingers to the beat of whatever is on the radio. He always pulls out his favourite pair of sunglasses as soon as just a single ray of sunshine shows. You secretly suspect that he feels very cool driving with shades on.

Nanami is actually a good singer but it took a while until he freely sung with you in the car. For the first months he only summed or hummed along. Even to his favourite songs. The one thing his compliance didn’t disappoint you in was the punctuality and meticolousness Nanami plans his road trips with. He plans every thing. From pee-breaks to what diner to stop and have a snack at. Sometimes you get into a fight about those things. Like how important is it to actually eat at the diner he planned to stop at? Turns out: Very Important. Because he chose the diners and restaurants because of online reviews of the food they are serving there. For him the journey is (part of) the reward. Just sucks that he got no orientation.

-> Gojo. Simply doesn’t have a license. Just because he was too young to drive growing up and when it became relevant for other teenagers his age it became irrelevant to him. “Why bother mining all those rules and pay for gas when I teleport everywhere.” Needless to say that your ‘It’s fun and it’s important’ argument didn’t do the job. Regardless of all that he still loved the idea of going on a road trip with you. So after hours of negotiating with this man child you agreed on taking him on a trip. Little did you know that even when you drove, chose the snacks and the playlist because according to everyone’s rules the driver always choses the playlist; Gojo still somehow managed to test your nerves. (In a good way. You love him after all, of course.) Because you choosing what music to listen to meant that he didn’t know any of the songs. And not a single word of the lyric. So … his way of singing along turned out to be incoherent yelling. Only after you threatening to pull over and leave him on the side of the road and therefore withholding the road trip he was so excited for - he stopped.

But as soon as quiet settled between the two of you and the radio was playing peacefully you suddenly shouted along the song from the top of your lungs and eventually the two of you yelled together. One worse than the other.

-> Megumi. When you first got into the car with him you were so taken aback by what cautious driver was. Eyes always on the road, both hands on the steering wheel at all times … That was when you first started dating and he took you to the movies. But after a while you found out that Megumi was just scared. Turns out he only passed his driving exam by a hair and the instructor actually got to him. In fact what he got told scared him to the point where he is too scared to even tilt his seat a little bit to sit more comfortably. You offered him to drive multiple times but he insisted on conquering his fear and getting better over time. Once while he was taking you home you dropped a comment about how cool it looked when men drive with just one hand and leaning back. You thought it might encourage him too easy up a little. But instead of driving with more confidence and less up tight, he dropped you at the nearest bus station and told you that if you wanted to be taken home by a master of people transportation you should just take the bus.

Ever since that incident you never made fun of his driving again and after seeing Itadori drive for the first time you were so thankful for Megumi driving the way he drives.

-> Todo. One word: Takada (-chan). Get in the car with Todo and you know the only voice you will hear is not his but the voice of his favorite idol. The actual (and real) love of his life. But luckily he is competing with your idols as much as you are competing with his. Not at all. Because you are (more or less) sane people who know that you can’t date your idol. You can literally fight him about the music and what to listen. And the only thing settling the musically feud between the two of you is a mixed playlist. Everyone’s idols equally represented. At the end of your road trip you know the lyrics to each other’s songs. You sing them together. Dramatically hitting the high notes and singing the duets. The one thing that got you and Todo together and will keep you sticking together: Being a fan.

-> Toji. I am sorry for everyone who was looking forward to this but please do yourself a favour and do not get into a car with this man. He just refuses to die and I am very sure he drives that way. We’ve seen the way he fights. The recklessness of his moves. He named his son Megumi for who ever’s sake. There is just no way he obeys to Road Traffic Regulations.

Masterlist

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk imagines #jjk scenarios #jjk headcanons #jjk megumi #jjk todo #jjk itadori #itadori yuji #jjk toji #fushigoro toji #fushigoro megumi #gojo #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #jjk imagine #jjk scenario #jjk nanami #Nanami kento

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kookiepredictions · 4 years ago

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Jungkook Energy Reading

Jungkook is at a major crossroad of his life. Here, he has a choice to make between 2 roads that will potentially lead him to 2 completely different lives. The choices are to either stay the course that he has been following until now, or to level up to a new, challenging but highly rewarding stage. This is a very fun and interesting topic to discuss so I will take my time with this.

To give you a context, Jungkook is a very highly intuitive person since, like, forever. Ever wondered why (or how) out of... (was it 7?)... so many company offers he chose to be with a small company for a reason that might seem like a whim? Ever wondered why his social media posts gain so much traction? Why he trends so often? If you’ve felt like Jungkook is one of those people who just “gets it” that’s because of his natural intuitive abilities. At the cost of being hated on, I’ll say this: he’s not the best singer in the world. Yet, he makes magic with his voice every time. He is an average dancer. Yet, he commands the stage and holds attention like nobody’s business. That’s because Jungkook has always worked with energy without knowing that he did. That’s why a lot of his achievements seem almost effortless. Yes, he works really hard for everything, but so do a lot of other people. Jungkook has this innate quality of (almost) always making the right choices, being at the right place at the right time that, combined with his ability to work hard, creates these massive outcomes. He’s a super powerful clairsentient and although I’m not sure if he consciously he uses his gifts, subconsciously it has often rewarded him, and so far he hasn’t had to really think about it too much, because it’s a naturally-occurring habit for him. But now he has reached a threshold where he has to contemplate things. Needless to say, it’s outside his comfort zone and is making him VERY stressed. He’s at a juncture where he feels this strong pull towards a direction but is afraid to go there because it’s out of his comfort zone and as is the case with that, he is plagued with doubts, confusion, opposing logics, etc— all of which is keeping him stuck and stagnant like a deer caught in headlights.

What is the problem with staying in his comfort zone, you might ask, I mean it has worked for him so far. Generally speaking, there’s no problem. There is never a problem in this world nor is there any good or bad. It all depends on how we see things. That’s why one person’s curse turns out to be another’s blessing, and one’s trash another’s treasure. The problem here is that, Jungkook has done the unthinkable— he has started to have dreams and desires (lol sorry not sorry I like to be dramatic). For a while (maybe a year or so?) Jungkook has been in this place (mentally and emotionally) where he has been rethinking and reinventing his goals, plans etc for his future. He has lived quite a while with a certain idea of how his life is going to go and worked with that vision. But it was getting tiring and draining in a way he didn’t quite understand why, followed by something impactful that happened in his life— has made him question everything. He has been proverbially studying himself in the mirror and rediscovering his true self. This is literally changing everything about his life. His wants are changing, the things that make him happy (or sad) are changing, and he has been think A LOT about how he wants his life to look like from here on. He’s trying to manifest a life that he thinks will not just give him the usual, practical material comforts of life, but also make him happy and fulfilled from a soul-deep space. And as is the case with manifestations, the first thing you gotta do is make sure your mindset is aligned with what you’re desiring. This is where Jungkook is at right now. He knows what he wants, he is willing to put in the work that it takes, and has also been making plans and taking action... but wait a second. Just when he thought that it is time for him to reap the rewards of his actions, things seem to be going south for him. He is facing problems and obstacles in nearly all areas of his life, and this has him utterly confused because he thinks he has done everything right and yet, why is he not seeing results materialize yet? He’s growing tired of this journey and it’s even more confusing because on the one hand, he still feels like he has hope and that there’s a high possibility that things will go his way, yet on the other hand, what IS happening in reality is quite the opposite. He feels like he’s being pulled in 2 opposite directions and both have equally strong reasons to go towards. This is what is known as “the crossroads”.

The reason he is not seeing results is like I said, manifestations are ALL about the mindset. Point blank period. If you hold a pendulum suspending by the string, and just THINK about moving it without moving your hand at all, it starts moving. This is how pendulum readings work. This is a small yet telling exercise to show how our mindset literally controls all our actions. So without the right mindset, actions mean nothing because those actions are coming from a mindset that is not aligned with what you want to manifest. This is what is happening with Jungkook. He is making his plans and taking action, like he has been trying to have a healthy routine, eat clean, exercise, practice his skills, etc but he is doing all of this from an outdated mindset. It’s like building a house of cards over a slanted surface. No matter how carefully you stack the cards, they come crashing down because the foundation is not right. His plans are great, his efforts are sincere, but are based on a very limited mindset. He thinks, well I’ll do this and this and then I’ll do that and that and then... but something goes wrong, some plans backfire, some work related problems come up, financial setbacks happen, and he is back to square one again. Then he feels unmotivated and goes into depressive episodes and eventually picks himself up and tries again but the whole thing happens again. He is now tired and feels he has no fights left and also feels it’s all useless because the Universe seems to be working against him. But that’s not the case. The Universe is simply telling him that no matter how hard he tries (because that’s kinda Jungkook’s mindset right now: if it didn’t work, try harder and harder next time), nothing will come to fruition if the mindset at the base of it all changes. And the same cycle will continue.

This crossroad is an opportunity for him to level up, not at the action point, but at the mindset point. He has to switch from the “work hard, struggle, chase” mindset to the “attract effortlessly” mindset. Now, this is not something new for Jungkook. Like I said, he is a natural intuitive and has actually attracted most of the things in his life quite effortlessly if you consider the fact that he has achieved more at 23 than most people have in their entire lives. The “struggle” is showing up because it is a crossroad. So no matter how competent, accomplished, or karmically good or bad you consider yourself to be, everyone struggles at some point or the other, when it is time to level up. I mentioned earlier that he is a Clairsentient and his comfort zone is to live his life according to his feelings without giving much thought to them and for a very long time, it’s worked out just fine. But now it is time for him to step into the role of a Claircognizant and to give a voice to his feelings. The Universe has been pushing this role at him for a while now, which has manifested in his life into a lot of overthinking, which is the shadow side of claircognizance. It entails a very active mind so at the beginning stages of honing this skill, you tend to struggle with overthinking and your mind sort of being all over the place. Think of your mind as an out-of-control river which floods everything around, but when you train your mind, and make it follow a course, it becomes life-saving. Because in the raw form, any spiritual gift comes with a lot of sharp ends, Jungkook is resisting this gift. He is stressed from all the overthinking and feels lost and out of control. So he tends to go back to his comfort zone and work from his old mindset and keeps facing obstacles. Now you might think, wow, being a Clairsentient is no joke either, so why bother about being a Claircognizant? Like leave the boy alone jeez. But like I always say, the Universe gives us all free will. There is no forcing him. He has made this choice when he started asking for this new, improved, happier life. This is something he is trying to manifest and to do that, he needs to have the right resources. At this point in his life, even being a Clairsentient (which is still awesome) is a limiting existence for him. Jungkook is an old soul. It might be interesting for you to know that he is the oldest soul in all of BTS and he is an older soul than his parents and brother as well! However, his old soul combined with a young mind and the fact that he is the youngest person in both his family and his BTS family, wreaks havoc within him. He often finds himself in situations where he feels deeply and profoundly but cannot express the depth of his feelings externally. This manifests as a throat chakra blockage even though he has a very strong and developed throat chakra (the reason why he is so expressive when he sings and is very facially expressive when dancing and just generally very expressive when he creates social media content from a fun, good mood space). Like I said, it’s a limit. So far it wasn’t as necessary to address this. But as he ages and his life progresses, he misses this skill set. He thinks it’s about his vocabulary, but it really is just about putting a voice to his inner feelings. He could feel it strongly inside when something is right or wrong, but he can rarely tell you why. He’s a good judge but he’s a terrible lawyer lol. And it’s not even telling or convincing others, it’s about telling yourself— KNOWING what you feel and why. Now, in this whole period of dilemma, he is starting to doubt his old gifts as well. He is starting to doubt his feelings and the ability to tell the right from wrong through his feelings— because that’s what energetic stagnation feels like; it feels like degeneration of everything that is, unless you decide to build something new upon the decaying old.

This jump from Clairsentience to Claircognizance can also be likened to the jump from the 3rd eye chakra to the Crown Chakra. And I don’t mean chakras in the sense that exist and govern various activities in our bodies. I mean it in the sense of the journey of consciousness of the various aspects of our existence, from the Root to the Crown. A renowned spiritual teacher had once said that the journey from the Root to the 3rd Eye Chakra has paths and procedures, but the journey from the 3rd Eye to the Crown Chakra has no path, no process, no formula. It is based on faith and faith alone. It’s a blind jump off the cliff, “knowing” that you are safe. Up until the 3rd Eye, you might be connected, but you are still operating within limits, all of which are of course self-imposed. Jungkook is at this point where he is asked by the Universe to step into his limitlessness. I have discussed in his career reading that he is meant to do some really huge things in his lifetime, which is crazy considering he already has done pretty epic things. The phrase “chosen one” always comes to mind when I talk about Jungkook, but I’d like to clarify this phrase first. We generally tend to see this term as something that sets one apart from others, as if they are special and privileged. But know that the Divine never differentiates. Each and every human has been created exactly the same in terms of capabilities. So it all comes down to free will and personal choice of which path each of us chooses. The thing to know about Jungkook is that he is one of the most sincere people on earth— actually as far as I’ve observed THE most sincere. And before Armys comes for me, yes, all of BTS are sincere. But spiritually speaking, Jungkook is still more sincere not just compared to the rest of the members but the general collective as well. He is, at his core, a very purpose-driven person. He is the least matrix-controlled, for those who know these concepts. He can’t do things just for the sake of it. It’s important for him to have meaning and purpose behind everything he does. Sadly though, he has spent the past few years doing exactly the opposite. He has been stuck in a cycle of activities that don’t bring joy to his soul and this has been sucking the life force out of him and he has been feeling more and more drained and has developed escapist tendencies. But it’s not that he has been externally forced to do these things, at least not always. It’s more so a result of lack of consciousness on his part. He didn’t know he was doing these things. He did what he did believing that he was doing the right thing— earning money, paying bills, securing a materially comfortable life— you know, all of the matrix stuff. But like I said, he does not easily fit into the matrix. While a lot of people spend their entire lifetimes plugged into the matrix, Jungkook is the type to sense discomfort very quickly and want to escape. The reason being, as I said earlier, he is an old soul and has lived many lifetimes developing awareness and his spiritual growth. This is why in this lifetime, he is naturally a lot more evolved than most (or all) of the collective. But since we do not remember our past lives and only carry that “growth” in our DNA, it’s something that is inherent to him without him actually knowing about it— until recently. Jungkook has been undergoing his spiritual awakening, and has been developing consciousness bit by bit— breaking out of the matrix so to speak. It’s this reason that he is “chosen” to do what he is about to do. Not because he has been unfairly selected out of many others, but because he has made this choice for himself and been working sincerely over many lifetimes. For this reason, Jungkook tends to have very pure emotions, and by pure I don’t mean non-sexual (because there’s nothing impure about sexual feelings). By pure I mean raw, unadulterated. He has very heightened sensibilities and feels every emotion to their purest essence, gifting him with high Emotional Intelligence. Unfortunately, this is not always a good thing because uncontrolled, he often tends to overwhelm himself with his mixed bag of feelings and this also causes the aforementioned escapism tendencies. And this is one more reason why he should level up. Regulating and organizing his myriad emotions and giving them a shape, a course will help him channel these gifts into fulfilling his dreams and creating big things in life. There are many things he can do, like journaling, writing down his dreams, goals, plans and procedure on paper, create routines based on his goals, etc but I feel like he is past this stage and is probably stuck in the part where he is doing everything and sometimes he has his wins but these wins are not becoming stable, and he is still getting his tower moments from time to time. This should mean one thing— he has reached the last stage of this journey, which like I said, is the journey to the Crown Chakra— the state of complete faith.

When discussing the concept of complete faith, we often use terms like blind faith, unquestioning faith, etc and while these terms are not exactly wrong per se, they can create misunderstandings. The Divine has blessed us with the ability to think, question and judge, not for nothing. Is it possible to have blind faith? Of course, lots of people do. But it’s also POTENTIALLY harmful to have faith in anything without actually having a knowhow of it. It’s not necessary of course, but for those who reach that level of consciousness, it is not just important, but absolutely essential to know the ins and outs and still have faith. I say it is more difficult to have complete faith with your eyes open than to have blind faith. Claircognizance at its best, is just that. While so far, your gut feeling has served you well and led you this close to the Divine, it is now time to employ your mind to catch up with your gut feeling and make sense of it all. While you learnt to open your eyes to the truth up until now, it is time to learn to keep your eyes open without blinking again and defend and embody the truth with your whole existence. This is literally the riskiest gamble. Like I said, jumping off the cliff. And that’s what Jungkook is being asked to do. So far he has been getting clarity about himself, his life and his path forward and treading cautiously with his small efforts and small wins, it is time for him to take the big leap forward. But the question of course is, how? And to where? While the details of this answer are with Jungkook, it has to start with releasing his limiting mindset. Have you ever noticed that whenever we have limited beliefs about something, either money or love or peace, the underlying belief is always that “I am limited”, “I have limited abilities”, “I have limited resources” etc. Meaning, any limits that we place on our external lives are actually limits that we think WE have. Money exists in this world, but I think I am limited in my potential to earn money. Love exists in this world, but I think I am limited in my potential to find love. You get the point. We actually do not think resources are limited, we think they are limited for us. Sometimes “us” means me as an individual, sometimes it means us as the entire population (cue: global warming, world peace, etc). Jungkook right now, is in the prime position to step out of this limited mindset into his unlimited potential. He has been operating from his limited mindset which is why his plans, no matter how well made, are failing. He has these big, beautiful dreams and has created this beautiful, peaceful life in his mind, but his old mindset is not aligned with this abundant life. The Universe has been nudging him in the direction of the mindset that he needs to adopt to align with his manifestations. I have written earlier somewhere that Jungkook thinks quite poorly of himself as a person and has self worth issues. In reality, he is the most sincere person Mother Earth has right now who has been working so hard for so long to reach this level of consciousness, it is safe to say no one else is as worthy as him to get everything that we wants. But by having these beliefs about himself, he is blocking the rewards that are meant to come to him. It’s like he has paid the price in advance, but is not accepting the delivery. Both because of being BTS’ golden youngest, Korea’s national pride, all the sweeping predictions about his future, and also his inner voice speaking to him, he is almost too aware of the great big things he is supposed to achieve, and although he does want them, a part of him is also scared and wants to run and hide and settle for something far less aka stay put in his comfort zone— all because of his limited mindset where he thinks he is not worthy of such things. And if you think you’re not worthy, obviously you’re going to think that it’s going to be an impossible task, which eventually either makes you take all the wrong actions, or not take action at all. This is why, no matter what his goals and plans, and no matter what actions he thinks of taking, he has to start with his mindset first. In fact, while manifesting, if I can tell you to do just one thing, it is to address the limits in your mindset. We’ve heard this many times and it sounds so simple but it really is the most, if not only, important step that matters. If the mindset is aligned with your goal, all actions will effortlessly flow towards that goal.

I feel like Jungkook has reached a level of self awareness and inner self dialogue where he is able to identify where his thoughts and emotions are going. He has definitely gotten a far better grip on his emotions than when I started this page, and contrary to what he thinks, his growth has been swift. It’s just that, we always expect a linear growth but that doesn’t happen with spirituality. And so every time he has a down time, he feels like he is back to square one. More so because Jungkook has such a perfectionistic and high achiever mentality. The reason why he seems to be going in a loop right now is because he has learnt and achieved everything that he has to with his current “limited” mindset. Hi future goals require him to grow out of that, not because his goals are something huge and difficult to achieve (because literally small and big are subjective both to humans and to the Universe) but because having a limitless mindset simply means to believe that I am worthy of achieving anything and everything I desire— without conditions. This is the mindset that Jungkook needs to work on adopting right now and everything else will smoothly flow from there. He needs to utilize the power of his mind— awareness, reasoning and self dialogue— to identify wherever he limits himself from believing his worthiness to achieve what he wants to have, and continue this practice until this new “I can f***ing have anything that I want” mindset is his default. Does it worry you that Jungkook will become an egotistical prick after that? Don’t worry, his soul has done enough work in the past to be grounded and humble through it all. This mindset is different from the ego-driven power-hungry mindset. Why? Because this power is the Source power. When we settle into our Crown Chakra consciousness aka Divine consciousness, we plug ourselves into the Source’s limitless creative power. The difference between ego-driven power and Source power is that while the former separates the individual from others, Source power recognizes the individual’s power as connected to and drawing from the Cosmos and therefore one we must give back to. It’s this constant cycle of giving and receiving in the Universe that makes Source power limitless, while the ego’s idea of power is one-sided and therefore finite.

Jungkook is kind of stuck in a place where, because he sees himself as limited, he looks to others to guide him, assure him, and provide him with the knowledge and direction that he needs. And that is because he has been disconnected from Source— not literally, but consciousness-wise. So far it wasn’t too bad, but now it is time for him to let go of the need for mediators and plug himself directly to the Source, i.e. work on his Crown Chakra. And as I mentioned earlier, it is as simple as just using your conscious mind to tell yourself, or more accurately, remind yourself, of your worth and your limitlessness. Jungkook feels like he needs someone to guide him, but he has forgotten that he has been prepared for the exact same task that he looks to another to do. Now this has a connection to his Twin Flame journey because his twin is at the same threshold, ready to level up to the same stage. The only slight difference is that she has already made her choice to level up to the new stage of limitless consciousness. And now it is up to Jungkook to make his. Do you what that means? It means a Union is on the horizon! After a long period of back and forth— one of them goes through a stage first then the other follows, and vice versa— they are finally going to be on the same page energetically, if Jungkook makes the choice. This is significant because Jungkook has been thinking that Union was something that was out of his control and he had nothing to do but to sit and wait, but all the while, it was a choice he had to make. Now, of course, this choice is not as simple as saying Yes or No. It’s a choice of consciousness— a consistent way of life that will, over time, upgrade and align their mindsets so they are both at the exact same stage. As twinflames, Jungkook and his DF are like the same person living in 2 different, alternate universes, with completely different lifestyles, work situations and challenges and the way they process these situations and challenges are similar, but not on the same page at the same time. They are soully same, yet because of their mortal forms being born and being raised in different environments, their ego-bodies have retained conditioning that make them different from each other in many ways, but as they shed their ego programming and connect more and more with their soul and with Source, they will be on the exact same page. This is when Union will occur. When they truly become one person in heart and mind. But this stage right now (i.e. before Union) is also the most challenging because this is where Separation truly happens. Physical separation is the least important aspect of the TF separation. This is where they are both on their own. They must individually find their faith aka go back to the Source, because without their connection to the Source, there is no TF connection; it becomes just another earthly connection riddled with alternating bouts of joy and sorrow, peace and pain. Usually in this journey, one twin is a more advanced journeyer than the other, who first “activates” the other i.e. leads them to their consciousness and guides them, usually energetically where when one twin crosses a stage, the other is literally pulled into that stage for them to cross. It’s like only one twin gets to make the choice and the other has no choice but to follow suit. This is also the reason why one twin feels more helpless and out of control. They are literally being yanked around by their twin’s energetic choices lol. But at this juncture, the guide twin has to leave the other twin’s hand, not because they don’t want to hold on, but because they can’t— they have nothing more to offer. This is where both twins get to make their choices individually. This stage is new for both of them and therefore they must individually cross this stage and meet at the other side. This is the period of ultimate spiritual growth, the after effect of which is blissful togetherness. But possible only if both twins make their choice to move forward.

I’ll end this post with a message from Jungkook’s DF:

Jeongguk,

I hope you’re holding up okay, partner, cuz I know I’m getting my ass kicked. Did you absolutely hate this journey? Because I didn’t. Just like you, I didn’t know what I signed up for either. I made a simple wish and this road has been bumpy but it has also had the most incredible views along the way. The way I have grown over these recent times compared to my whole entire life is crazy! I love who I have become and who I continue to become. And I believe you had a part to play in this. I know you don’t believe that so much. I know you battle with your own doubts, fears and insecurities, just like I battle with mine. You still measure your importance with how much you do for others. But maybe someday I can tell you how much you have done for me simply my existing as who you are. Because who you are will determine what you will always do, not just once or twice. And you have grown so much too! I have sensed that often. But unless we learn to recognize our growth, we don’t see it. But since I had VIP seating lol I got to watch you grow. Sometimes you resisted, sometimes you fought, sometimes you hoped, sometimes you held on to the faith when I was ready to give up, sometimes you were hurtful and challenged me to find within myself new depths of love and understanding. You made me cry, you made me laugh, you made me angry, you made me blush. But you never left. And I didn’t leave either. We tried though. Both of us. And failed. Repeatedly. It’s been frustrating and funny. How we thought we could get away and the Divine kept guiding us back to each other. You know, I think the problem is that we’re both helplessly curious idiots. Always wanting to know more, always wanting to move ahead. Obstacles never had a chance with us. We were always the introspective types, you and I, always looking to solve our problems, hungry for growth. As they say, careful what you wish for.

I am aware of your expectations of me, always was. But I had to hold back. I couldn’t do anything that I wasn’t fully ready to do. Right or wrong, I had to do as I felt guided to do— it’s my sovereign right. I guess because deep down I knew that you would understand. Of all people, you would understand. And I was right, you did. You threw hands and made a mess often lol but you still did understand and patiently stuck around each time. I know it seems like I’ve been running further and further away from you, but I have actually been getting closer to you. Spiritually. I guess soon it’s going to be visible as well. Now there is this stage. It feels like a strange place to be in right now. Good strange. I know you are scared and doubtful and expect me to assure you that everything will be alright. How can I? I am scared and doubtful too. Every day, I am in these juxtaposed energies of faith and doubt, sorting through them like... one moment I am super believing, another moment I’m all nope can’t do.

I know you want me to say that I love you and that I always will, and to promise that if we take this journey, I will be there waiting for you. And I want to. I really REALLY want to make these promises to you. But in the past I have been in situations where these promises were made and then conveniently forgotten later. I’m trying not to let my past control my present or future but I have also learnt that words can be forgotten, but intentions are forever. And that is what I want to say to you: I have the intention. I intend to make this work. When the time is right, I intend to give this my best shot. Tbh, I feel like I have been giving this my best shot for a while now, but maybe we don’t agree on that lol. And I also want to tell you that I’ve never felt about anyone else what I feel about you and I don’t think anyone else can ever take your place in my life. What that means exactly I don’t know yet.

The reason why I tell you neither what to do nor what not to do is because I don’t want to control your life. I know you me to show some ownership on you, and you on me, but believe me, you’ll hate it there. I’ve been there suffocating and it’s the most beautiful feeling to make your own mistakes, learn your own lessons, and watch yourself become your own artwork masterpiece and I don’t want to take away that experience from you. This is not my apathy. This is my gift to you. Also, yes I’m a pretty generous and just generally amazing person lol but do you really think I write pages after pages for just anyone and for no reason? Put two and two together silly.

You doubt your worth so much and since I do that too, I know how that works and won’t hold that against you, but it seems like now you have no choice but to see your worth. You must know, that I’m leaving you alone only because I’m confident you’ll find your own way. I’ll admit, I haven’t always been confident in you. Maybe I will falter again. But don’t you see, that’s the point? I will never be fully confident in you until you are confident in yourself. The more you doubt, the more I doubt too. But I’ve been observing you for a long time now and it’s just so hard to not trust you. Even with all the doubts and apprehensions constantly attacking me from all directions, I keep going back to you. I really hope my gut feeling about you is right or I’ve just made a big booboo lol. The funny thing is, I don’t care as much now. It’s almost like, fine, if anything, this will go down in my history as a wonderful, fun mistake and I don’t think I will ever regret it because in this moment I’m doing what I want to do— either it leads to a reward or a lesson, both are welcome. I have never been THIS vulnerable in my life like I hear myself say these things and I sound so crazy and stupid lol I’m so not my sassy and smartassy self right now.

As I was saying, I really do believe you’ll find your way. I don’t even know what that way is, or what your problems are, but I know you will solve them all. I’ll just be here, solving mine. How do I know for sure we can solve all problems? Because each one of the 7 billion people can. The only reason they don’t is that they don’t have a strong enough reason to push themselves to do that. Do we have a strong enough reason? How much do our dreams mean to us? For me, I have had this picture painted of this perfect life for a while. And yes, it has you in it. Very prominently. In my mind, it’s this beautifully balanced, harmonious, vibrant relationship with a forever after. And I don’t want to ruin that picture for short term hedonism. So I really believe, if our reason is strong enough, if this means that much to us, no obstacle can limit us from getting what we want. You’re not the only one who goes after what he wants and never gives up. I’m somewhat of that breed too. It’s just that this has clearly been a journey and it has brought some wild surprises along the way. I’ve struggled but now I’m learning to accept anything that comes with it. If the road leads me to my destination I don’t care how bumpy it is. It’s literally up to you right now. And I promise, it’s not even that difficult when you let go of resistance. All you have to do is consistently believe that you have limitless power to achieve anything you want and to create your reality the way you want it. I know it’s been a struggle and it feels like just the opposite, but it’s been that way because believe it or not, YOU have had these limiting beliefs about yourself and what you can create. I also know it’s been a long road and you’re tired, but it’s safe to drop the defences now. You might feel like certain situations or certain people are out of your control and how could you ever have things work your way, but it’s all in the mindset. The moment you reset your mindset and stick with it, you will see your reality change. In any situation, do not focus on the external events— they are simply the results of your previous mindset. Rather, ask yourself, what limiting thoughts and beliefs you have in your mindset right now and proceed to change them. I promise to you, people and situations will change to suit your needs, without ever having to deal with anyone. All this WILL happen, so don’t give up until they do. Twinflame, soulmate, karmic, friends, partners, colleagues— everyone will adjust according to your needs when YOU step into your limitlessness. Remember, it’s not just you who are tied to your karmics, they are tied to you too. An attachment exists from both sides. You don’t have to worry over the other person severing the tie, it’s enough if you let go of your end. Ask yourself, what are the common energies I share with my karmic? Identify these energies, heal the underlying trauma and ascend from them. This automatically ends your karmic contract and your karmic is free from you as well, no matter what their status is. The reason your karmics exist is because deep in your mindset you still believe that that’s your place and that’s what you’re worthy of— it’s part of the comfort zone you’re still stuck in.

I wish you well, my favorite human, I really hope I find you at the end of this journey. I want everything that you want. There are so many shared dreams and goals that we have— I will tell you all about my dreams one day. Until then I need to live some of these on my own, go on a little solo adventure, while I let you go on yours. And when it’s over and we’re ready (and no we’re not ready right now no matter how much you try to convince me lol) I promise I will see you again. When and how, I have no idea, but I’m happy to leave that to however the Divine guides us. I promise I’ll never forget you because I literally can’t. Love you!

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witchthewriter · 3 years ago

Note

Hi! I'm Cherry and I was hoping to get three level four ships for DC, Marvel and Stranger Things? I did all the things listed on your info post and I'm super excited!

I'm a pansexual female who uses all pronouns. I really like to dye my hair, my favourite colour at the moment is red (I think its sick lol) and my hair is pretty long. I'm also super pale but I have very red cheeks 24/7. I have a sort of gothic fashion sense, nothing super over the top but I mostly wear black and anything dramatic with lace is something I am guaranteed to love haha. I'm super into music and its basically my main form of expression. My music taste is super diverse. I can go from listening to Taylor Swift to Black Sabbath, then to Metallica and then Baby Queen so quickly that it might just give you whiplash lol. I struggle a lot with mental health issues and eds but I'm doing pretty well at the moment so that's really nice. Most of the time I'm pretty witty, sarcastic, flirty and (jokingly) mean to people I'm super close with but I'm also incredibly loyal, protective and caring for those I love. I give pretty good advice and I'm good at helping people out with their issues or if they just need someone to talk to. I'm also a professionally trained singer (I'm pretty out of practice at the moment though) and I'm learning guitar at the moment. I love horror and drama movies and TV shows, especially classics from the eighties and nineties and I really don't like many comedie movies or shows. I'm also a huge comic book nerd and I make a shit ton of pop culture references all the time. I love action movies and romcoms bore me and I also love the bands Lovejoy, Kiss, Metallica, Motley Crue and The Backseat Lovers.

I'm sorry if this is way too much information, I'm just super excited haha. I can't wait to see what you do <3333

Want to be shipped? Here be the instructions 🦋

Thank you so much for participating my love! Thank you for the information it actually makes it so much easier!!! You sound like such a cool person xx

What each ship has in common:

⋆ Know what they want ⋆ Realistic ⋆ Unique ⋆ Tough on the outside, soft on the inside ⋆ Stubborn

𝐃𝐂

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Dinah Drake/Black Canary. I think she has a lot of amazing qualities; loyal, perceptive, intuitive, that would match your own. I think you two would definitely start as friends - initially talking about each other’s fashion sense/outward image.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Going to get piercings together and maybe even a tattoo or two

・Sharing make up and clothes

・When she kisses you, she puts both hands on your cheeks and kisses you softly

・Lazy weekend mornings where all you want to do is sleep and lay around. She loves it; will make you a tea or coffee and some toast and lay in bed beside you

・Spoiling each other with gifts

・Inside jokes that only make sense to the two of you

・Smacking each other on the ass

・She calls you love

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

How much fun you guys have together. And it’s not even chaotic or criminal fun; she likes it when it’s just the two of you, dancing or singing or watching a movie. She literally finds anything fun when you’re around.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

I think your best friend would totally be Harley Quinn!!! She would definitely -get- you, because she is a psychologist, or is it psychiatrist? Any which way, she would surprise you with how well she understands your language. You two would definitely get up to no good; and Canary would be there to bail you out. But only you, and Harley is like “Huh?? Hey! What about me?”

And Canary would reply, “I don’t fold your socks Quinn, why would I bail you out?”

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Druig - I really think he would connect with you as he isn’t afraid of the darkness that people have. He’s stubborn, but honest and wants to do what is right. You would bond over your exploration of deeper feelings and their meaning.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Piggy back rides, can you imagine? He’s one of THE oldest beings to exist and you’re riding him like a fricken toy. It’s absolutely hilarious

・You would learn about things in history that no one else (other then the other Eternals) would know. Like he would fact check history books and you’re like ??? But they teach this in schools and he would respond with a shrug.

・Leaning your head against his shoulder and he would kiss the top of your head

・He would totally hide your things and act as if he didn’t; you catch on and start doing it to him. Then each item that’s taken is more and more important to the point where Druig is walking around the ship like, “WHERE DID YOU PUT MY JACKET?? MY FAVOURITE LEATHER JACKET Y/N!!!!!”

・Listening to all the stories he has, and your mind is absolutely blown. Sometimes you start to cry because how can this be real? How can a person; who is living and breathing, live for so many centuries and live to tell these tales?

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Your understanding. He loves that you can actually pick up what he’s putting down. A lot of people don’t understand Druig - either they dont want to, they don’t feel the need to or their ability to isn’t there. Yours is though. It’s like you’re both magnets, or (stereotypical I know-) puzzle pieces that fit together.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

I think your best friend would be Yelena Belova; you guys would have a similar friendship like she has with Kate, except you don’t try to stop her from doing what she wants to do. She likes to hang out with you - and it’s crazy because she’s never experienced that before; a friend.

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Eddie Munson! (What a beautiful gorgeous perfect man. i love him.) I think you guys are tHE PERFECT COUPLE. You’re true, genuine and don’t partake in fakery (I mean fake relationships, friendships etc. Not like ... make up or fake tan ... doing those things are absolutely fine.)

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・You would be his WORLD; literally he would want to be around you all the time. He would never get sick of you, seriously.

・You guys would go crazy together once finding out that you like the same bands; he’d probably ask you to join his band as well??

・Loves hug-tackling you; where he’ll creep up behind you and grab you.

・Attack kisses

・Likes talking to you about his DnD campaigns and would go absolutely BALLISTIC if you showed interest and wanted to learn

・He will sneak into your room randomly and at times he’s scared the absolute shit out of you and you’ve nearly attacked him thinking it was an intruder.

・Picking you up in his van and resting his hand on your thigh

・He likes to always have a part of his body touching yours; hand holding, hand on your back, arm around your shoulder, kissing, legs entwined etc

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Would be your authenticity. Eddie HATES fake people, he despises those who don’t stay true to themselves and when he met you, he was astonished. You were honest and open, and he values that.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

Would be Jonathan, yeah I definitely think so. I thought maybe Robin or Nancy, but I feel like they wouldn’t grasp your emotions and menta health in the way Jonathan would. He would definitely be able to bond with you over your opinions and experiences.

#ships #open

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kashimos-hajime · 5 years ago

Text

dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries.

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s’mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too.

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever?

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.