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gaywalker80085 · 3 days ago

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Party

Pairing: Wanda x G!P NB reader

Genre: Smut

Summary: You are attending a party and see a beautiful woman, but there's no way she would ever be interested in you. Right?

Warnings: Smut, Drinking, and drunk smut

A/N: Hey y'all all sorry again for disappearing for so long. All of my fics will still be coming out at random intervals, but for the foreseeable future, they will be scenarios I daydream about meeting my girlfriend in. And guess what not proof read

Words: 3527

Masterlist

All you wanted to do was get ready for bed early so you could bedrot and still go to bed at a good time. Even though it's the weekend, how are you supposed to have the maximum amount of time to rot your brain tomorrow if you don't wake up at a reasonable hour?

But of course, Natasha just had to go to this week's Stark party and would not relent when you tried to deny her invite. "Come on, it will be fun, I know you like to dress up. Pleeaassee."

You do like to dress up. Despite being a home body you know you clean up nicely, and it is pretty fun to see how sharp you can get yourself and how many longing stares you can attract.

"You've been working out more too so you know someone will come home with you, just saying."

Sold

Now its 7pm and your contemplating how many buttons to have open while factiming Natasha. "1 seems to closed, but 2 shows my tank top and I don't know if that's good or bad. Also, 1 hides my chain.."

"So obviously 2, I know you like to be modest and all, but I'm telling you girls will like 2."

"I suppose you're right."

You finish getting ready by putting in your small silver hoops and spraying your cologne before heading to Natasha's room. She wanted you to get ready there, but you know all too well that you need maximum alone time before going to this party if you want to stay for any real amount of time.

The party being in the same building as your room makes it all too easy to bail and the slightest amount of overstimulation.

You dont even knock on her door before Natasha opens it. "Wooow Y/N looking good looking good."

"Really? Is there anything you would change, be honest?"

"No, I think you really got it this time,e even your hair is looking pretty good."

She's right for some reason, recently your hair is a frizzy mess more often than not. It's most likely because you stopped putting in as much effort as before, but with your new schedule of waking up early and training, it's going to be a mess immediately anyway, so why bother?

You're a trainee for Shield, but you met Natasha when she was subbing for one of your teachers on a day she had nothing better to do. She thought you were pretty cool, so she spent extra time talking to you, and your friendship just blossomed from there.

"Are you ready yet It starts at 7, and it's 6:5,5 we're about to be lat.e"

Natasha just rolls her eyes at you. "Calm down its a party, they don't really start until an hour after they say. So when it says ,7 that actually means 8."

"Then why don't they say 8?"

"Because then everyone would come at 9."

"Why?"

"Because that's just how it is."

"But why is it that way?"

Natasha annoyingly elects to stop answering you. You are a punctual person, she tells you this hour after stuff all of the time, but it's just so annoying. Why say 7 if not 7? Why is it a culture to be late? There is no on time, only early or late, what do people not understand?

You decide to go into Natasha's room and take a quick nap before it is time to go. You have found that napping is the only way to keep yourself from stressing about the time.

Once it is time to go, Natasha actually wakes you up nicely for once. Over time, she has realized that abruptly waking you up, whilst temporarily funny, is not good for anyone unless they want you to be a snarky zombie for the next 1-2 hours.

You both head downstairs once you've had a few moments to come to your senses. You're armed with your earbuds and your over-ear headphones in Natasha's purse just in case your earbuds aren't cutting it.

Once you and Natasha make it into the room right at 8, of course, it isn't too packed, thank god.

You spot Bucky and Sam across the room and head over to them. You give Sam and Bucky some quick side hugs. You 4 had hung out a few times recently, slowly becoming a small friend group. Sam and Natasha head to get some drinks.

"I'm surprised you weren't here earlier. How in the world did Natasha talk you past 7:30?"

"She let me sleep in her bed. She had no choice unless she wanted to be here at 7."

"Well, you haven't missed much. I'm hearing a lot of 8:30's so you're still early in reference to most."

Natsha and Sam come back 10 minutes later, and you all stand around talking and laughing as the room fills up.

By the time you're 3 drinks deep, you're feeling loose enough to get your next drink yourself.

You head up to the bar, waiting your turn to be served, when you look over and see the most gorgeous woman you've ever seen. Wanda. You had seen pictures in the news and stuff, but despite frequenting Natasha's room and therefore the Avengers floor, you had somehow never crossed paths with the witch.

You quickly realise you've been staring and tear your eyes away from her. All you can think about is her now. You want her to be burned into your memory so she's all you'll ever see again.

You can help but sneak another glance, quickly looking over. You try to keep it short, but you also need your eyes to have time to focus on every part of her.

She's sitting with her back to the bar, talking to Carol, joking about god knows what. Shes wearing a simple black dress with a slit down the leg and heels. She's enjoying the conversation, but you know you could make her laugh more.

You turn your gaze back to the bartender in time to give him your order.

By the time you make it back to your friends, they are talking about something new, but you don't care; you're just thinking about her.

After 5 or 10 you have no idea minutes have passed your friends need more drinks. Natasha is about to go but you quickly volunteer.

"I'll go!" You say a little to quickly

Natasha looks at you confused "You just go a drink you've barely touched yet?"

Shoot, you were so deep in that you hadn't even tasted your drink yet, but you want another chance to see Wanda. So you do what you gotta do and throw your drink back in 2 big gulps and snatch your friends' empty cups before they can question you any further.

When you make it back to the bar, you look over, surprised to see that Wanda is now sitting alone. This time, you choose to stand a little closer to her, granted you're still 3 or 4 seats away, it is technically closer than before, so you call it progress.

The bartender is taking his time to make his way over to you but you arent complaining since this gives you all the time in the world to admire Wandas side profile as she scrolls on her phone. She seems quite uninterested in the party.

You could show her something that she would be quite interested in. Just as you think that Wanda's lips quirk into a slight smile.

You wonder what she's looking at. Nothing could be as fulfilling as looking at her. Her smile grows wider, but she seems to be trying to fight it. Weird.

The bartender comes over and you give him the order for all 4 of you, but when he walks away and you look back to continue staring at the beautiful Wanda, she's gone.

You look around, but you don't see where she went, deflating your shoulders a little, but when you look back toward the bar, you see auburn hair out of the corner of your eye.

Snapping your head towards it shes sitting right next to you, back on her phone, but she looks up at your sudden movement.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was someone sitting here? The vent was blowing on me over there,e and it was making me cold," she says, looking up at you through her eyelashes.

Fuck. Up close, she's even more beautiful, not a single imperfection on her flawless skin.

Her cheeks grow red, and you realize you haven't answered.

"Oh, um, no, sorry I just uh..." you ramble like an idiot trying to make an excuse for whipping your head around.

"Are you sure? I can move if you're here with someone, really, it's no problem."

"NO! I mean uh, no, sorry, no, I'm not really here with anyone, just my friend."

Wanda smiles softly, looking amused at your ramblings. "Oh really, whose your friend?"

"Uh, Natasha, she made me come."

"Made you?"

"Yeah, I normally just chill on the weekends, but she convinced me, I guess."

"And how did she convince you?"

'Women'

"Oh, you know, just saying I'll have fun and whatnot, you know the usual."

"Really, that's all it took? That seems pretty broad to me."

The look in her eyes seems like she knows something, but what would she know?

The bartender comes over with your drinks, and considering how hard you're bombing, you take that as your cue to exit.

"Well, I need to bring these to my friends, so if you'll excuse me."

Wanda smiles as you try to start balancing all 4 drinks in 4 different types of glasses. 'Damn them and their differing tastes this was easier when they were empty'

"Why don't I help you with one of those?" Wanda suggests, and before you can answer, she's picked up a drink. Your drink.

You don't protest as youd rather accept her help than embarrass yourself by spilling.

When you make it back to your group, you turn to take you drink back only to see a breathtaking sight.

Wanda is taking a long sip of your drink, making eye contact with you through her eyelashes over the rim of your glass. All you can do is stand there, hand half outstretched, mouth agape.

She finished her sip, putting your drink into your open hand while licking her lips. All you can do is close your hand and stare at her lips

"That's pretty good, maybe I should get one for my next drink."

Your mouth is dry as you try to come up with a response, but Natasha beats you to it.

"Oh hey Wanda, what are you doing over here?"

"Hey, Nat, I was just helping your friend... I'm sorry I didn't catch your name." She says, turning her attention back to you, placing a distracting hand on your bicep, which you swear she gives a squeeze, still pretty much in your same position.

"Uh, Y Y/N" You stutter out.

Natasha gives you a knowing smirk before looking back at Wanda.

"Well, that was very kind of you, thank you so much, Wanda," Natasha exclaimed a little too nicely.

Wanda stood around talking to your group for a little bit hand never leaving your arm.

As you watched her talk to your friends, your mind began to wander, especially as your 4th drink started hitting. All you could think about was wanting to kiss, which progressed into touching Wanda, which then progressed into tasting Wanda. With that, though, Wanda choked on her words, a little bit confusing you. Nothing out of the ordinary had been said in their conversation, at least out of what you heard.

Then, all of a sudden, a very vivid scene played in your mind. You're standing in a room you'd never seen before, holding Wanda upside down, tasting her and teasing her as she takes your full length into her mouth. The scene was so clear you swore you could feel it.

Just as fast as the vision came, it went. When your eyes refocused on Wanda, her face and chest were flush. She turned to you before coming close and whispering in your ear, "I need another drink, would you like to come with me?" before looking up at you, making direct eye contact.

You just nod, and her hand slips into yours, pulling you quickly towards the bar, but before you make it there, she pulls you towards the door. You're confused, but you don't care enough to resist as long as she keeps her hand in yours.

"Where are we going?" You ask even though you don't really care you feel you should at least pretend.

"My room," Wanda says quickly before pressing the button for the elevator.

"Your room? What's in your room?" you ask. confused.

Would you like to go to her room? Yes.

Do you think she would randomly take you up to her room for the reason you would prefer? Hell no.

"I'll be there, is that enough reason?" She asks, seeming impatient as you both step onto the elevator.

You nod your head side to side, "I suppose," you say, racking your brain to try and figure out what the hell is going on.

When the doors open, Wanda pulls you out of the elevator so fast you could have gotten whiplash.

She pushes you into the 3rd door on the right before quickly closing the door behind her.

You've seen this room. This is the room from that... Dream? You saw. Wanda steps in front of you, looking up at you with is that.. lust in her eyes? No way.

"Wanda, what is-" you begin to ask before she cuts you off, reaching her hands to the side of your face, tilting your head to meet her eyes. "Your thoughts are very loud, возлюбленный (sweetheart)"

You're confused for a second until. Fuck. How could you forget "The mindreader" What the fuck how do you forget that.

You're about to start profusely apologizing, but before you can, she pulls your head farther down so your lips are hovering over hers.

Staring at your lips, she asks, "Do you want to act on them?" looking back up into your eyes.

Fuck.

You lean in to meet her lips and lift her up as she wraps her legs around your waist her dress raising in the process. The kiss is fast and sloppy. Just the way you like it.

She's smiling, and she pulls herself tighter to you, grabbing a fistful of your hair.

You reach up to put a hand to her jaw as you lay her on the bed, never breaking the kiss. You try to savor the moment, not wanting to rush too much, but she has other plans. She reaches a hand down to grab your pants and pull your hips to grind into her center.

You let out a groan as you give in and start rubbing yourself against her, giving her the friction she desires.

Quickly, however, this begins to not be enough for the witch as her hand moves over to your belt buckle as she tries to open it. She gets impatient and her failed one-handed attempts, and her eyes flash red as your pants literally fly off of you, leaving you in only your boxers.

Surprised and half confused, you pull away for a second, but she's not having it as she pulls you back to her and flips you both over so she's on top of you.

She grinds her hips up and down your full length, her dress now high enough that you can feel her warmth through her thin panties. She moves her kisses down your jaw and to your neck. All you can do is grip her hips and tilt your head to give her better access.

She lifts the bottom of your shirt and starts kissing down your torso before sitting up. At the loss of contact, you prop yourself up on your elbows, looking at her in a confused daze.

"Take it off," she demands, and you quickly throw your shirt over your head. You look back at her as she stares at your torso, admiring you.

You begin to grow uncomfortable with the scrutiny. Seeming to sense it, she leans back in to kiss you. She moves your hands to the bottom of her shirt, wrapping your fingers around the bottom of her dress. "Take it off," she whispers against your lips. You nod quickly, gathering the bottom of her dress and lifting it over her head.

Oh shit. She's not wearing a bra. You've been trying to contain yourself, but it is proving somehow harder than you expected.

She grabs your wrists to move your calloused hands and places them on her hips, slowly moving them up her curvy sides until you reach her breasts, where she places her hands over yours to squeeze and knead her.

You don't need to be told twice. You take to massaging her on your own, sitting up to kiss her. She allows you one kiss before pushing you back and placing her hands on your shoulders to support herself as she resumes grinding down on your now fully hardened member, eyes closing.

If she doesn't stop soon, you're going to finish before her. You can't have that.

You move one hand to her side and one to her face before flipping you both back over.

She looks angry for a second, but you begin an almost attack on her neck as you begin grinding against her warmth again.

Her eyes close as one of your hands slides down her side towards the waistband of her underwear. You slide your fingers just ever so slightly underneath and run them slowly across back and forth.

You move your mouth up to her ear before whispering, "Do you want me to touch you, Wanda?" And you pull back to look into her eyes.

She nods quickly and grabs the back of your head to pull you into another searing kiss.

You slowly slide your fingers down until you reach her warm center and groan as you feel how wet she is. You slide your fingers up and down from her entrance to circle her clitoris and back.

She moans loudly into your mouth at the sensation.

You move your kisses back to her neck and then down to her hardened nipples as you slide your fingers into her.

At this, she digs her nails into your back while arching off the bed, moaning loudly. It doesn't take long before she's wiggling and writhing, but just before she finishes, you'd gently pull your fingers out.

She whines at the loss, sitting up. "Why'd you store? Please don't stop."

You smile, moving up to kiss her. "Don't you want to play out your little show from earlier?" you whisper.

You place a hand on the back of her head, pulling her up onto her knees while you stand up, still kissing her. You then bend to grab her waist and, in one motion, lift her up and flip her over legs over your shoulders pussy against your face.

She lets out a small yelp, which quickly turns into a moan as you dig in. She wastes no time before fumbling to get your boxers off, 8" of you slapping her in the face.

She moves to taste you moaning as she does.

Her mouth plus the vibrations of her moans make you rethink if you'll stay stable enough to hold her, but you know you must power through.

You both continue your acts on each other like your lives depended on it.

You knew it wasn't long before you would climax, whether you liked it or not, but you just hoped you were good enough for her to be in the same situation.

You soon became confident that your hopes were true as her thighs began to squeeze your head like she was trying to crush a watermelon.

As you felt yourself getting closer, you couldn't help but begin thrusting into her mouth, though trying to keep it gentle, you could only control yourself so much.

With a little more moaning and groaning from both of you, you knew you would break soon. Just when you thought you couldn't hold it anymore, you heard a loud moan from Wanda and felt her reach to massage your balls, forcing you to climax with her.

You tried your best to stay upright somehow successfully before walking over to lay her on the bed. You move on top of her and move lower to clean her up with your mouth. She whines at the stimulation, and you rub a gentle hand over her stomach before moving to get up.

Once you're standing and about to gather your things, you hear a disgruntled sound come from the sleepy witch before you're lifted up and placed under the covers beside her.

You aren't complaining, and you're crazy tired, so you scoot closer and she rolls to lie her head on your chest.

Masterlist

A/N: Sorry its short and probably not as well written as some of my other works I have to written in forever and also haven't been reading as often

@natashamaximoff-69 @i-dont-know-what-iamdoing @diaryoflife @cd-4848 @r3dheadenthusiast @bishopscheeseburger @winterstorm311

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#wanda maximoff smut #sub wanda #wanda maximoff x male reader #Powerbottom!wanda #wanda x y/n #bottom wanda #bottom wanda maximoff #wanda #wanda smut #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wanda xreader #wanda x yn #Power!bottom Wanda

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mattsangelbaby · 1 month ago

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SCARED OF MY GUITAR — m. sturniolo

in which … you and matt start to lose the spark but what happens when you pretend everything’s fine?

angst !! arguing, crying, little fluff, some toxic behavior, use of pet names, unresolved angst

1.4k words

“ perfect, easy, so good to me. “

you and matt have the ideal relationship. everything someone could want in a relationship, you guys have it. he is nothing but the sweetest, kindest, most perfect guy you’ve ever had. it’s been a great eight months— nothing short but amazing. there was weekly dates, weekly flowers, mini- vacations, late night talks, and so much more. nothing makes you more happier than matt, and being with matt.

your currently cuddled up on his couch, your head resting on his chest— while his arms are wrapped loosely around your waist and his cheek on top of your head. you nuzzle your face into his neck, your warm breath hitting him.

“i missed you,” you whisper— your soft voice putting a smile onto his face. his hands trace small patterns onto your back, as he kisses the top of your head.

“missed you more, baby,” matt mumbles, pulling you closer into him. you let out a sigh as this was nothing less than perfect, but why doesn’t it feel right?

“ so why’s there a pit in my gut— in the shape of you? “

the past few weeks have been— odd. you and matt have been spending less time together, being more “busy” as you guys like to say. less texts, less phone calls, less flowers, less everything. things were going so good, but what happened? maybe it’s just a tiny rough patch all couples go through it, right?

your currently curled up in your bed, tv on, watching a show as you get a phone call— matt. you immediately pick up, so excited that you finally get to talk to him for the first time this week.

“hi sweetheart,” matt’s low voice comes through the phone— almost sounding tired. “hi matt, i’ve missed you.”

he just hums in acknowledgement, giving no “i miss you” back. you notice this— your face falling slightly trying not to overthink it to much. maybe he’s just having a rough day? yeah, until every phone call after that only gets worse. there’s less and less, more quick, and couldn’t sound more uninterested. this is normal, right?

“ maybe i’m just overwhelmed, maybe i’m confused. “

as weeks past, it only goes downhill. you haven’t seen matt in almost 4 weeks, haven’t talked to him on the phone in about a week, and texts only last about 5 minutes. maybe he’s just stressed? maybe he’s just busy? or maybe your just overwhelmed? this happens— it’s normal, you keep telling yourself.

for the first time in almost a month, matt finally comes over. you’ve been looking forward to this moment for awhile, you’ve missed his touch, his love, you’ve missed him. but as the both of you are on the couch, watching a movie, things couldn’t be more different. there’s a gap between you both, no one touching each other, little words actually spoken— it’s fine, it’s okay.

you slowly move your hand over to matt’s, laying it on top of his before he yanks his hand away. you look up at him with glassy eyes— desperately trying to keep the tears in. “what’s wrong?” you mumble in a shaky tone, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

of course he notices but not a word comes out of his mouth about it. maybe he’s just doesn’t care.“m’fine.” matt states firmly, not a hint of emotion evident in his voice. no love, no care, just— nothing. but you’ll pretend it’s fine. like you always have.

“ but i keep thinkin’ i’ll find a cure. “

the sounds of screaming voices and tension fill the kitchen air. matt has been getting mad at you lately for the tiniest things, and it’s been draining. it’s almost like you can’t take a step forward without him pushing you back. you keep trying to figure out if there’s something you can do to fix this— something to make it better. but what can you do?

“i dont understand what’s going on with you,” you shout, your voice a bit wobbly. matt leans against the stove— arms crossed around his chest. “nothing’s going on w’me. your being dramatic.

you scoff— trying to keep a tough exterior knowing this is breaking you on the inside. where’s the matt that used to love you? where’s the matt you used to know?

“me being dramatic? matt, you barley spend any time with me anymore. something’s up.” matt slightly rolls his eyes, clearly fed up with you.

“god, you’re so annoying sometimes. leave me alone, kid.” tears brim at your eyelids, threatening to fall over as matt leaves the kitchen walking into your bedroom.

when did he get so mean?

“ say that i’m fine, i tell you all the time— that i’ve never felt so happy and sure. “

you know that nothing can fix you and matt. nothing you do, nothing he does will ever fix the spark between you too. the light is slowly dying out. but what do you do when the person means everything? pretend it’s fine, that you’ve never felt happier.

putting on an act is easier then listening to your own feelings— dealing with them. matt is your savior, the light in your life, the person you’ve only ever seen a future with. you know you don’t deserve to get treated like this, to feel unhappy. but is this all truly happenening, or is it all in your head? maybe your so deep in your act that you don’t even realize anymore that it’s an act.

maybe this is all you’ll ever need.

“ but i’m so scared of my guitar, ‘cause it cuts right through to the heart. “

as time goes on, it gets harder and harder. why does the thought alone of matt make you feel so sad? when the two of you are actually together, it feels like there’s a whole ocean between you two. is swimming across that ocean worth it anymore? or will you get to the other side and see only a small island with nothing to give.

what are you supposed to do? talking to someone feels pointless. how are they supposed to change his heart and make it follow you— how? the words “i love you” feel nothing short but a lie. how could the one man you loved with everything in you, make those words not feel true anymore? he acted like you weren’t even his girlfriend, nothing but an afterthought in his mind. how could he do this? how could you keep fighting for something that he wasn’t fighting for— fight for a battle you were losing?

“ i can’t lie to it the same way that i lie to you. “

lying seemed to become more of a regular thing. around matt, you seemed happy— joyful. almost like you were so innocent that you couldn’t see what was happening right in front of you. everytime someone asked about you and matt the words, “amazing”, “perfect”, “great!” were things that left your mouth, when they couldn’t be farther from the truth.

when you would go out shopping with matt, you would notice his eyes drift to the other girls— his eyes trailing down over there bodies, taking in every little feature. and so you pretended you didn’t feel something stab you on the inside everytime, you just pretended. if you lie— it hides the fact that everyday you and matt are slowly falling out of love. slowly and slowly.

“ so i’ll lay in your arms and pretend that it’s love. “

days, weeks, months past as you felt even more deatched from your relationship. how much more pretending could you keep doing? maybe if matt noticed you were fading away, he’d do something. but he never did. loving him felt like a chore, something you didn’t want to keep doing. long and restless nights were becoming normal— the thoughts overbearing. you felt yourself grieving over something that wasn’t dead yet. but to you, the fire had burned out a long time ago. the matches giving up.

nobody asked questions, because nobody knew. how were they supposed to know? you find yourself thinking about the late nights he would hold you in his arms, the nights where you would watch the stars, where you felt like the most special person.

the crushing reality slowly dawns on you over time— the sickining feeling in your gut weighing you down. what if you never find anything better? how could you trade something that’s good for what’s right? matt was the person for you, matt showed you something that no one else ever has, and maybe you’ll feel this way forever— the feeling of giving something even if you have nothing left to give. things will get better and things will be okay, knowing that the spark left a long time ago, but you can’t give up something that makes you so happy. that did make you so happy.

so you’ll lay in his arms and pretend it’s enough.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 ·˚ ༘ ꒱ i hope you all enjoyed this little onshot !! i’m not good at writing angst but this idea popped into my mind and i just had to do it! i’m hoping to start writing for my au so send in requests and please ask questions about them!!

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waddleonmywaywardducks · 11 months ago

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How to get back into your practice after a burnout

Alot of times in our practices, we often just straight up forget. Not going to lie to you I didn't practice much until I got out of my mom's home...which was one year ago. And I also have a theory that since paganism isnt dogmatic and is meant to be ran by a community we fall out really easy, it's natural, paganism is different now. But anyways here is chaos's master guide on how to put on your big girl panties and get back the work.

(disclaimer: just because these things worked for me doesn't mean it's going to work for everyone else, this post is completely upg. I'm just offering advice.)

Starting out small

What never stuck to me is those post that are like: "stir your intentions into your coffee, light incense, pray" because like yeah thats a good way to start off I really dont think itll set in our brains to do this everyday. Instead what I recommend is finding days to practice and sticking to that day. Find a day where you useally do nothing and dedicate it to getting back into your practice.

You could use this day to research on all the things you forgotten (been there)

Or you could just leave offerings out for your deities and call it a day

I think if you uphold a certain schedule your mind will get into the habit of "oh today's witch day, time to do witchcraft" this is basic psychology, and I promise it works 😭😭

Deity work and getting back into it

Little reminder: your gods are not mad at you. They do not hate you. They love you.

I have had so many falling outs with deities because I just couldn't uphold a schedule. Hekate being one of them. Hekate really showed me the way once I moved out of my mother's house, and after so many ins and outs of my worship to her, she still showed me love and compassion. I promise your gods will do the same. They understand our mortal lives more then you comprehend. After all, this is their earth.

Stuff you can do to get back into worship with your deities:

- offerings, big or small

- dedicate days to them, in my schedule Hekate is worshipped on Monday, and Aphrodite on Friday.

- research ways to connect with them more

- don't make big promises that you will get back into your practice and never fall out again, thats just putting yourself in more responsibility, your gods will now expect that responsibility. I've done this before and I definitely got side eyed by Hekate 😭😭

I recommend reading over these lovely post by @/khaire-traveler

Subtle deity worship

I honestly used this alot to get back into worship with my deities 😭😭 these posts go into worship you could do for deities while you are either hiding your practice or just want to do something for your gods. Really helpful post 10/10.

Getting back into witchcraft

I know I kind of went over this already, but I feel like there needs to be some small steps to getting back into witchcraft before we get to rituals, spells and stuff of that sort.

To get back into witchcraft, I recommend meditating, either by yourself or with your deities. Meditation allows you to just focus on the present and let go of all your stresses. I like to meditate with my deities because I get visions from them easily this way, it's easier for me to communicate.

From there you can do research on the basics of witchcraft and work your way up to rituals and spell work... hopefully all of this makes sense

Anyways yeah that's all the advice I have to getting back into your practice, if I have anything else to add I'll reblog this and add more. But yeah! I really hopes this helps at least someone lol.

#hellenic deities #hellenic pagan #hellenic worship #hellenism #witchcraft #aphrodite #hekate #pagan #paganism #witchblr

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kooktrash · 2 years ago

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the art of obsession | kim taehyung

summary: in a world of painters and poets, there were two college students looking for the right sort of inspiration. through devotion in your craft, you find yourself drawn to kim taehyung—a grad student painter who’s everything you’ve ever looked for in a character. his walk, his form of speech, his art, it all captivated you to the point where you wanted to recreate him in words and you begin to realize how similar the two of you really are. you share a sort of obsession in your work that seems like only each other could understand and he invites you into his world of oil paints and charcoals in hopes of drawing you on paper.

✎ genre/au: dark academia. college au. painter!taehyung x writer!y/n [afab. she/her]

✎ 17.4K words

“He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” — Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë

warnings: smut. slight obsession with their work. prestigious college. tae literally takes oc to a graveyard. oc and tae dont take criticism well. unprotected intercourse. oral [f and m]. oc slobs on his knob and tae eats like it’s the last supper. missionary. side position. lowkey passionate sex. fireplace crackling. namjoon and oc used to be fwb. hints that oc and Jimin used to be fwb too. jungkook is tae’s sculpture artist bestie. jimin is oc’s ballerina bestie. namjoon is oc’s writer bestie.

The smell of cigarettes was something you were fairly used to being around where you resided. You’re not sure what makes it so popular among young academics and sometimes you wonder if it’s not the need of nicotine but more so the aesthetic of it that they all seem to enjoy. It seemed to always linger in the air around campus where all the grad students would walk with their heads down and bags under their eyes as stress took over their entire being. You understand the stress but being an undergrad student yourself, you’re not sure you could understand the extent of it that they must feel. All you could really do is watch the way it slowly deteriorates their body every time they step into the library.

Maybe it’s the Literature major in you, but you never fail to try and assess each person that walks in as if you could see their entire character design and what makes them who they are. Today you got a bit lucky because despite how slow your homework had been going, your favorite case of study had just walked in wearing his usual black turtleneck tucked into a pair of loose corduroy pants. He wore a pair of rounded wire glasses that you love getting to see him in and they did wonders to conceal the eye bags you knew were there.

With this smallest hint of entertainment you’ve found through your long and boring study session with only one friend to confide in, you shut your copy of — excuse the pretentiousness — The Pictures of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, and lowered the volume on your headphones enough to be more aware of the cause of his visit today. You rarely saw him in the library and if he did happen to come by it was to check out or check in a single book on Michaelangelo or Davinci.

You were surprised by how close he seemed to have gotten to you today. The table you studied at was only a couple feet away from a book aisle he had currently walked down and now he was just a meter or so away with his head down in his book. The usual smell of smoke surrounded him and despite scrunching your nose at the smell, you chose to ignore it and study him a little further. You even went as far as to lower your headphones until they curled around your neck giving him your attention even if he didn’t know he had it.

As much of an observer as you were, you never seemed to catch on to the way his gaze would shift to you any time you weren’t looking, eyes scanning your features rather quickly as he made his own assessment. You dressed warmly today, probably due to the fact that there’s been a light rain that has been casted over the city, always seeming to linger longer where the buildings were older and all signs of urban life seemed to dissipate. You were dressed in neutral tones today that placed you perfectly with your own surroundings and if this was a painting he’s sure you would be the focal point—or maybe the single spec of bright color you wore which was in this case your powder blue headphones. He’s not sure he’s ever used that specific shade of blue in a single one of his works before but maybe he’ll look into it.

He rarely visited the library but when he did it was always a pleasant surprise to see you there. He didn’t care much to get to know you, he just found the aesthetic of it all captivating. The library was beautiful, truthfully, with its dark wood shelves and polished tile floors that echoed with each step. It was eerily quiet and it always smelled of old books and always reminded him of a cathedral. There were large stained glass windows of poets, painters, dancers, etc. the clear glass windows overlooked the large pond that covered the back of the small campus where the woods began to take over and student life decreased aside from the occasional late night college party hosted there between trees and bonfires.

“He always comes into my work for paints. I wonder why he always pays in cash.” Your friend said, suddenly appearing next to you and not messing with the printer anymore. He must’ve caught sight of Taehyung before he left and considering he worked at a supply store, it was no surprise he recognized him.

“Maybe he hates banks,” you joked, turning to Jimin with a smile. Jimin pursed his lips staring down the aisle where Taehyung had disappeared once he had his book, “Maybe cash is more aesthetically pleasing. He’s an art major, isn’t he? I say he’s too pretentious to use a plastic card—or even worse, Tap to Pay.”

At that you laughed, deciding to continue the teasing of a man you barely knew while also trying to defend him, “Do people ever get tired of throwing words around?”

“Are you referring to my use of ‘pretentious’?” Jimin asked as he moved to the other side of the counter, “I used the term correctly, it’s an adjective meaning, ‘attempting to impress by affecting greater importance and culture than is actually possessed’. His refusal to adhere to society’s technological advances is pretentious in itself. I bet he still uses No. 2 pencils as an act of defiance against mechanical pencils—if he was a writer like you he would probably be more drawn to a pen but he’s an artist and artists make mistakes that get covered up or changed.”

You couldn’t help but smirk at that, “Tell me then, Jimin, what does a ballerina use to convey words? An Arabesque?”

Jimin released a loud groan, “I hate this goddamn school.”

You watched him open his newest generation laptop and hide behind it. He knew now how little room he had to talk. You, yourself, couldn’t utter a word to disagree with him either when in your hand was a Montblanc fountain pen that cost your parents a hefty 1,500$ to get to you when you were first accepted into the school. You’re sure when the time comes for you to finish undergrad, they’ll up the price and give you one worth 4,000$—the most profound amount of proof that you did in fact strictly use pens for everything.

You would never dare mention anything revolving around the money Taehyung’s family is rumored to have because you don’t know anything about him to do so.

All you knew were the few things you’ve noticed — a couple that even made it into your journal — like the fact that he specialized in two mediums; charcoal and oil paintings. He’s a known name at the University for his work and dedication and you saw that through one of his works. It was dark and a bit twisted but it told a story and you think that’s what drew you into him before you even knew it was him.

Despite his strong presence that always seemed to draw you in, he had a gift for making himself invisible in a group setting. He never spoke up in class, never caused a fuss, he was in and out like a shadow.

At the start of the semester you were taken by surprise when you found him sitting in one of the back rows of the lecture hall to an advanced anatomy class that you’re sure you took for very different reasons. Taehyung was interested in the study of the body so he could fully understand the way the it works from the inside out. He wanted to understand how each limb moved, how fluid each bone and muscle connected, how they could contort, see where the organs go, imagine the flesh coming to life when he painted.

In literature, anatomy isn’t referring to the human body. It refers to a separation of a topic into smaller parts for detailed analysis of the work. You did not make a mistake when you chose this lecture, you too wanted to study the body for your work. You wanted to learn how fragile it really was, how it could be destroyed, how hard it was to do so. You wanted to know about which bones were weaker, which organ puncture did the most damage. You need visuals and understanding of its healing process, of the way it moved, how the nervous system worked. Once you had a better understanding of the body, you just knew that you would be able to apply all these things to your writing. You would be able to detail how your character’s body deteriorated outside and in. How the body would slowly break down, which nerves were affected, how the heart worked in that moment. It would be gruesome but intriguing enough for your readers.

Maybe you needed to write something not so dark, something that didn’t make you take courses you didn’t really need but wanted in hopes that they’ll help you understand better. You didn’t actually need to go this far to describe a couple grueling scenes but it helped.

The room was silent aside from the obnoxious sound of the clock, Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock…Ticking.

You stood at the front of your professor’s desk in his clustered office filled with classical literature books and awards for writing all over the shelves. His desk took up the majority of the space inside and whenever you were in here you couldn’t help but feel just a little suffocated. There were barely any words shared between the two of you, he only ever decided to truly grace you with his speech when he was critiquing and yet right now he’s been uncomfortably silent.

The silence had grown so long that you found your attention drifting toward the grandfather clock that was tucked away near the overwhelming stained glass window that overlooked the courtyard filled with wet and fallen leaves. The trees were bare and the fountain had a sculpture of a big swan with its wings spread in what looked like a dance. It always reminded you of the Swan Song, but you never knew if that was morbid of you. The idea of your University of Fine Arts decorating the campus in the black and white birds simply for decor always seemed strange to you too.

There was no way they would ever portray anything without meaning, or at least something not up for interpretation and yet every time you looked at one of the swans, you thought about the Swan Song, the way the bird’s wings were open beautifully with each detail chiseled into the stone. It looked like the swan’s final performance before its end. It wasn’t the sort of symbolism you liked to see at a school with such dedicated artists looking for a way to perfect every aspect of their work as if each one was their last.

“I like it,” your professor finally said, drawing your attention back to him in an instant, “Your writing has improved Y/n, I’m starting to really visualize the plot and I think it has a certain rawness to it that I’m not used to seeing from you.”

The corner of your lips turned upward like you wanted to smile but you wouldn’t fully allow yourself to. He hasn’t looked at you yet, his eyes stayed glued to your paper and it was clear he wasn’t done, “But it still feels stiff—well, the main character does. I can’t understand him yet, he’s just a mystery to me and not one I’m interested in unraveling. I can’t understand his depth and it’s becoming a big flaw in your writing. Everything else sounds wonderful, well articulated and with such emotion… that when I think of him all I see a huge lack of substance. He’s being drowned out by the rest and he’s supposed to be the one I follow when I read.”

You didn’t say anything as your jaw slowly clenched shut, eyes unwavering as he went on, “It’s like you have a lack of knowledge for human emotion and psychology, I’m not sure that’s something that can be easily fixed.”

“Does it make my writing bad?” You asked stiffly and he shook his head no.

“No, your writing is captivating but there’s a very huge disconnect I’m feeling from your characters,” he said, looking up at you, “It takes away the beauty of it.”

Your lips felt sewn shut as he handed you back your paper with all of his notes for you to fix and you felt like crying. You couldn’t even utter out a single word as you forced yourself not to react to his words and leave his office with your head held high.

What did he mean by disconnect? What more did he want you to do? What did you not understand about human emotion? You’re a human, what is there not to get? What else did he want from you?

These questions circled your head for what felt like an eternity, only confusing you more and more as you left for your next lecture. You spent the fifteen minute gap with your journal out jotting down every question that came to mind trying to see how you could find answers to these.

You sat alone in your row of seats waiting for other students to arrive and you took the time to brainstorm. He told you your characters lacked substance and implied that they were hard to visualize. He said that he can’t understand them, especially the lead and that he couldn’t be absorbed into a story about a character he doesn’t care for. He basically said that you lacked an understanding of emotional depth for the characters you write and therefore your stories will continue to have a disconnect until something changes. If only something could inspire you, maybe help you analyze these so-called emotions you couldn’t comprehend. You needed to remove some of the mystery around your character and really dive in on his arc, understand how he felt. How could you do that? It's not like you could fully visualize it yourself either unless you really began to study those around you more than you already do.

You sat up straighter in your seat and looked around as the lecture hall began to fill slowly. The room had a sort of ancient feel to it with long hazelnut rows of desks pressed side by side against each other in an amphitheater manner. There were diagrams and models of the human body plastered everywhere but none looked straight off of a doctor’s catalog. They looked like Davinci himself drew every skeleton in the room. It also had a small echo especially when the rain hit the wall or glass windows that sometimes tuned out the sound of talking students entering the hall.

You recognized most of the faces and the one who passed you as he went up a few rows seemed to distract you more than the others. Kim Taehyung didn’t wear glasses today but he wore a wool sweater and linen pants. There was a small splotch of gray paint on his knuckle that he hadn't seemed to notice as he swung his book bag onto the desk with a small thud, uncaring if anyone heard and ignored everyone around him.

He was similar to your character, almost. He always seemed closed off and unapproachable but behind his eyes was an aura of emotion that isn’t easily interpreted. You found yourself beginning to scribble down in your journal, just basic things you noted about him.

The lazy, bored look in his eyes that made him look tired and unamused by everything that happened around him.

Then there was his stance. He had good posture but when he sat down in his seat he leaned all the way back with his arms on the table like he was observing every person in the lecture hall, even you.

You knew this because for a second your eyes met with Taehyung’s and in that measly moment you just took in the sight of each other. Taehyung didn’t hold much expression in face but his fingers seemed to twirl his No. 2 pencil a little more intently now. He ran his gaze down from your eyes to the curve of your nose and curl of your lips. There was something about your facial features that he was delighted in studying. When you looked away and gave him a view of your side profile he leaned toward his desk more and the leather sketchbook that rested over his textbook was flipped open as he began to sketch you.

The drawing didn’t mean much to him, it was just a small doodle to pass time, his hands had to always be sketching and you happened to be his distraction today. Usually he doesn’t really pay attention to you when he’s in class, you sit far enough from each other that you never interact and when he catches you in the library you always seem lost in your own world.

He knows your name, he read your story last semester simply because it intrigued him. It was published on the school forum and won an achievement so he checked it out and it was good, your writing is intricate, or at least that’s what he thinks. He’s able to follow along to every word and not be bored or confused but with a certain degree of understanding that the reader needs to learn. There’s an aura of mystery around it, yet it was not something that he couldn’t comprehend and he thinks that’s why he was able to enjoy it.

At the end of the lecture he had three small drawings of you.

“Come on man, it won’t take long, just one drink,” Jungkook begged him for the third time in a row. Despite his friend’s darker exterior dressed in black jeans, a black tee, and a black leather jacket, he was way more outgoing. He was always trying to get Taehyung to go out for drinks or to party but he just doesn’t have the time.

“Not tonight,” Taehyung said as he opened up his pack of cigarettes and took one out, sliding it to his lips before burning the end with his lighter. He handed the pack to Jungkook who took it without question and did the same.

Jungkook released a sigh in disappointment, shaking his head a little as he said, “Whatever man, you say that every night.”

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders as he took a drag and pulled it out between his index finger and thumb, “Then get the hint.”

His friend wasn’t listening anymore, choosing instead to stare at the building in front of him, dimly lit from all the lamp posts. It was just after sunset and the only students around were probably working on assignments like Jungkook and Taehyung. Taehyung took advantage of the art room to work privately and in a bigger space while Jungkook worked in the warehouse where he could work on his new sculpture. Taehyung couldn’t understand why Jungkook cared about whatever was going on at the library till he casually looked over too.

“She looks familiar,” Jungkook said pointing to you as you walked down the sidewalk toward the bus stop. Taehyung looked too, you had a tote bag like most students around here and there was a butterfly clip in your hair but it still looked messy. Your hair was down earlier and at some point you decided to put it up and he realized now that he didn’t have a preference on how hair looks on someone. He likes the style you had earlier and the one you have now too because they enhance your features more.

“That’s Y/n,” Taehyung said casually as they went to the parking lot. Jungkook looked at him curiously before glancing back at you, “You know her?”

Taehyung didn’t have an answer for that so he didn’t give one, he just walked ahead wondering the same thing. “Let’s get a drink,” Taehyung finally gave in and Jungkook immediately cheered. “Yes! Okay, don’t worry, just one.”

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… that is what every artist has ever been taught. Taehyung has never been able to disagree with a statement more than that one. There is not beauty everywhere, it is not as inclusive as one might think and to truly understand art in the many forms it could take, one needs to understand the meaning of genuine beauty.

It’s quite terrifying in a sense, for one to be able to lose control and fall for the Dionysian seduction and view beauty for what it truly is. It is a raw and exhilarating topic that cannot be defined by just looks or words but more the freedom of life, life is beautiful in its own twisted way and to accept that definition is to be able to portray that in what you do. That’s why Taehyung’s art tends to lean toward a more dark and twisted form. When he creates art he’s not just looking at creating something nice to look at or something with a hidden meaning that no one would ever truly understand. When he creates, he wishes to express human emotion through his work—he wishes to make others feel things they’ve never felt before and that is the beauty he is chasing after.

Beauty is not a person but a feeling and when he looks at you he seems to understand that better.

It’s not just your outward attractiveness that draws him in. It’s the terrifying beauty that you radiate in your gaze, in your mannerisms, in your writing. It intrigues him and if he could put you on a canvas and unravel everything inside you — your fears, your joys, your tears — he would but till then you’re nothing but a familiar stranger that invades his mind when he least expects it.

“Taehyung, your work is beautiful,” his professor said, “Everything you create is effortlessly perfect but…”

He waited with a bated breath, already not liking where this was getting. He watched closely to the way she tilted her head in curiosity, “It’s rather dark, don’t you think? Maybe hard for interpretation an—“

“It’s not made to be interpreted by anything but the way it is,” Taehyung said boldly, “Once art is set for others to create a new meaning for it, is it ever truly art?”

“I guess I am not understanding what you mean,” she said leaning forward against her desk.

Taehyung released a sigh like this conversation with his senior was tedious, “When you look at Picasso’s work, do you think he created it for others to understand? Or was that something that people began to believe? He created art that was unconstraining to himself and his life.”

“Yes but look at Salvador Dali, the entire aspect of surrealism that he used was to unleash the power of imagination and creativity. You can’t just shut your art into a small box for the sake of aesthetic,” she said and that made him scoff, his lip curled in distaste, “And let’s look at Monet? He’s practically what started the entire idea of Impressionism.”

“What it meant to him, how he viewed it at that moment, that was all,” Taehyung said, which made the advisor release a sign, “Claude Monet once said, everyone pretends to understand his art, as if it were necessary to understand when it is only necessary to love.”

“I’m afraid this conversation will go back and forth if we continue,” she said with a huff, already irritated by the way things are going, “The exhibition is in three months, in a month I’ll connect with you on how everything is looking and give you the rundown as well is there anything else you need from me, Mr. Kim?”

Taehyung shook his head and without a goodbye he was getting up from his seat and storming out. Not even a second after the chestnut double doors shut, did he find himself reaching into the pocket of his jeans to get his pack out. The cigarette sat perfectly between his lips as he blocked one side with the hand so the wind didn’t blow his lighter out and he lit the tip, ignoring the ‘No Smoking’ sign just a couple feet away. He couldn’t help but mumble, “Stupid bitch,” under his breath once he finally left the building.

As he rounded the corner, something hit his chest and his free hand immediately the person steady in front of him.

Your hand was on his chest to keep from hitting him and as you looked up, your eyes widened just slightly. Taehyung didn’t say anything as he let you go, brushing against your side and moving around you to leave feeling your eyes on him. You watched him head the way you just came from and finally snapped out of it when you heard your friend call for you.

He turned to look for you seeing you already walking over to some tall and muscular guy. The guy gave you a dimpled smile as he followed after you, no longer in Taehyung’s peripheral.

“Maybe he has a point, Y/n,” Namjoon said as he walked with you to the bus stop, “If you’re struggling then maybe you should think about altering the character more.”

You shook your head in displeasure, “No, I’m not going to change him, I just need to be able to visualize his characteristics.”

Namjoon released a sigh as he pondered over what advice to give you, but came up blank, “I mean… maybe you just need some real inspiration from those around you. ”

The both of you went silent trying to find a solution and you looked up at him curiously. Namjoon would be an amazing reference for a character but he doesn’t fit the image you want him to. He was like light, he was kind hearted and charming and so unbelievably smart but that’s not how you envisioned the main character in your story. The kind of character you had in mind was supposed to act similar to… well, Taehyung. He’s supposed to be a bit mysterious, cold, not necessarily a likable character but someone they can’t help but be curious about.

“Namjoon,” you called his name and for a moment he grew hopeful to the idea that maybe you were thinking of studying him the way you do with others—even if he knew that would never happen. Instead, you came to a stop and looked up at him, “I forgot my laptop in the ffice, I’ve gotta go get it.”

His brows furrowed, looking down at your tote bag, “I’ll come wit—“

“No, you have to work, right?” You asked, already backing away from him, “I don’t want to make you late, I’ll just catch the next bus.”

Before he could argue, you were already taking off in a hurry back down the way the two of you came from. With a sigh he watched you leave wondering why he always seemed to be a couple steps behind you and never beside you. All he’s done since he met you was follow your lead in friendship and outside of it.

Even when the two of you had sex months ago it was always when you wanted and never when he did. If he even thought to ask, all you did was blow him off and then question him on if he’s seeing anyone at the moment. In the same second you would press your lips to his cheek and remind him how much you adored him even when you blew him off he always found the act of it a bit poetic.

He loved you, but it’s a love unreturned and if he wants to stay by you, it has to be with him at the back of your mind and never at the forefront.

With that understanding, he had no choice but to let you go back toward campus walking across fallen leaves and dead branches while he went to the bus alone.

Your legs had taken off before you could even decide where to go and in the end you found yourself heading back the way in which you met with Namjoon—and also the way you bumped into Taehyung. You were never much of the shy type even if it appeared that way, your friends always said you were the selective type—only choosing who to be outgoing with and even then it was rare and required a lot of work to get to you.

They had it easy, Jimin was a childhood friend and Namjoon was in the same writing department as you but that’s as far as your circle went. Well, no, there’s Yoongi too but he’s a pianist and these days he’s so busy with lessons and trips to the orchestra, you barely see him.

Like stated, you were selectively social and right now, you were choosing to find Taehyung so you could formally talk to him. It took you about ten minutes of mindlessly walking through the courtyard to locate him and when you did, you came to a halt. He was just a few feet away now, cigarette between his lips, crouched down against the wall of some historic looking building with castle-like elements and you know he saw you coming when he turned his head and looked right at you.

That was the push that had you walking toward him and saying, “Kim Taehyung?”

“Yes?” He asked, looking you up and down, eyes unable to help themselves as he looked up from your legs to your face. You wore a black fitted turtleneck underneath a brown sweater vest tucked into a black skirt. You wore long 70s style brown boots and mesh tights too. Your hair was pinned back with a hair clip and pins and your ears were lined with simple yet pretty earrings. When his gaze finally met yours, he couldn’t help but take in the sight of you once more.

“My name is—“

“I know your name,” he said with a small glint in his eye, “Obviously.”

You didn’t pull away from his intense stare and watched him bring the cigarette back to his lips, “I thought it would be more appropriate to introduce myself.”

“Mm,” he exhaled looking down at the cement below his feet, flicking the end of the cigarette to let ash fall, “So what could I do for you, Y/n?”

He looked up once more and you bit your lip in thought, “If you are free, I wanted to see if you’d like to get a coffee with me.”

“I don’t like coffee,” he said, finally putting the thing out and standing up, “And it’s almost sunset.”

You blinked in surprise as he stood in front of you now but you didn’t back away, “Then we’ll just have dinner.”

“Thanks,” Taehyung swung his bag over his shoulder, “But I’m kind of busy, I’ve got somewhere to get to.”

He was already walking away to hide his look of surprise. He didn’t expect the two of you to ever really talk and he didn’t really know what to do. He ended up rejecting before he could even truly think it over. He imagined you as just a fantasy — nothing he could ever explore but that he could dream about. He just wanted to look and think about you but never know anything beyond what was on the surface—like a painting.

“And you can’t have a plus one?” You asked in your final effort to get closer to him completely unaware of what he thought of you. You watched him come to a stop, and for a moment you tried to imagine him contemplating. Taehyung turned to face you, “I’m not going anywhere fun.”

You stayed quiet as he went on, “And some might find it scary.”

It seemed like he was trying to warn you as if to let you back out of your own proposal but he wasn’t saying no and that was hopeful. You tilted your chin higher, “As long as you don’t plan on murdering me, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

That made the corners of his lips turn upward in an arrogant smirk, “Okay, Y/n, follow me.”

The walk wasn’t too far from the college but the college was already a bit on the outskirts of the city. All you saw were green, dying hills as autumn threatened to take over and it took you a second to understand where he was taking you until he was leading the way down a steep hill toward an empty and cold graveyard. It was a straight line of jagged tombstones and overgrown plant life entwined around them. There were clear dirt paths leading down row after row of old graves and a few Angel statues but nothing too bad, at least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

“I told you, you might be scared,” Taehyung said as he walked parallel to the graveyard toward a tree that stood tall along the sloping hill, “But this is the best view of twilight, if you want, I could walk you back to campus.”

“No, it’s fine,” you cleared your throat deciding to walk ahead of him so you could be the one sitting upright against the tree. Taehyung dropped his backpack a few feet away from you and began getting his things out.

You didn’t question him, only observed the way he carried on like you weren’t even there. It’s not like you minded, you didn’t have any real agenda to get him to spend time with you and frankly, you felt a bit relieved to see that he wasn’t trying to figure out what you wanted. It was unspoken the way the two of you seemed to think similarly and brought out your tools.

Taehyung didn’t say anything when he flipped his sketchbook open and found a charcoal he could use as he began to sketch without much thought into it. He even made himself comfortable by lying back, using the angle of the hill to help him not lay horizontally and he bent a knee up as a sort of flat surface he could rest his book on. There was a small breeze that carried through his linen shirt and brown trousers but he wasn’t much worried about himself.

He was more worried about you, who had asked to spend time with him but had no real plan to do so. He’ll admit, when he said no it was just on reflex from all the other times he’s out right rejected others before but he only thought it over because he’s been curious of you two. When you told him you would join him for a moment he debated saying no again because this was his favorite place to be to watch the sunset but it wasn’t all that normal. He even tried to warn you and offer to take you back when you saw the graveyard but you didn’t even seem to care when you sat down. Now that he’s looking at you up close, he can see the way your brows furrowed in concentration as you scribbled in your journal, already feeling inspiration.

It’s now that Taehyung is realizing why he’s been so curious. He finds you beautiful, he’s sure he’s mentioned that before, but he finds you beautiful in an unsettling way. Just looking at you seemed to send him into a wave of emotion like you’re exactly what he’s wished to create on canvas. Before he even knew what he was doing, his hands were working away to make another sketch, eyes on you as he worked.

“What are you writing in that little journal of yours?” He found himself asking after some time. The sketch was rough and yet it was so refined that there was no mistaking what it could be. It was a monochromatic sketch of you with your back against the tree, legs straight before you and your hair covering your face with the howl of the wind. Your hands looked delicate when you wrote and you looked so lost in your own work that managed to capture that same essence in his drawing.

When you first looked at him, your eyes went down to the pack of cigarettes he was now messing with and out of curiosity he raised it to you as if asking if you wanted one. Moving to sit forward, you took one and held it between your lips as he dug into his pocket for his zippo lighter, flipping it open and bringing it toward your face to light the cigarette. He watched curiously as you leaned back a little, took an inhale/exhale, and said, “I’ll tell you if you show me what you’ve been doing in that little sketchbook of yours.”

For some reason a small smile came to his face as he laid on his side using his elbow for support and reached over to hand you the sketchbook. You took it with a sense of excitement that quickly turned into disbelief as you looked at it. The back of your index finger hovered over it but never touched for fear that you would smudge it or worse—ash, and when you finally handed it back to him, wordlessly, his cold fingers brushing against sending a warm current down your arm.

At this exchange, Taehyung moved to sit up, not bothering to brush off any loose grass blades off his linen shirt and read over a short passage.

A certain coolness in his gaze that made him appear cruel.

A charming aura that seemed timeless, not modern but ancient like he was created from every classic literature known to man.

His gaze, his smile, his voice—all deep like red velvet.

The list went on, each short sentence followed by another in what one could assume was meant to describe him. He didn’t say anything either as he handed it back to you the same way you had done with his sketchbook. Neither of you were looking for critique or praise, more so acknowledgement of what the other had been doing and once you had it, it was enough.

Taehyung stared forward as the line of bright Orange finally vanished from the sky and a cool blue clouded it. The atmosphere shifted now as darkness began to swim across the sky and you both knew it was time to go. Nothing was said as you both stood up with your things and even less was brought up on your walk back to campus.

It wasn’t until you stood at the bus stop that Taehyung decided to ask, “Are you busy tomorrow?”

“No.”

He pulled out a piece of paper from the pocket in his trousers followed by a pen as he scribbled something down before handing it to you, “Meet me here at 8:00pm.”

You didn’t have to say anything for Taehyung to know you would show and he left without much of a goodbye.

The place you arrived to at 8:00pm on the dot wasn’t exactly what you had in mind but it wasn’t much of a surprise either—it was a warm record bar. The one thing that did seem to surprise you was Taehyung’s choice in music where he preferred jazz over classical. The bar was dimly lit only by shaded, vintage lamps and the small yellow candles near all the booze. The walls were lined with vinyls and the deep mahogany trimming gave the record bar a sort of dark academic charm to it.

When you found Taehyung he was sitting at a small round table fit for two and he had a book in hand—The Picture of Dorian Gray. He wore his usual metal wiring rounded glasses and his dirty blonde hair seemed quite soft and full of life. The dark brown sweater he wore matched well with his tan slacks and you didn’t miss the way eyes would fall on him. It was this charming, educated college boy with a rich father sort of energy that radiates off him, but also the clear look of disinterest written all over his face and it made people curious.

You debated calling his name to let him know you were here but when he looked up in time to catch you walking his way, you were aware that he had been waiting for you and checking the door every couple seconds. Taehyung didn’t shy away from taking in the sight of you in an olive green maxi dress paired with a thin white cardigan tied together at the top of your breasts and below your collarbone. You wore black boot heels this time and when you sat down in front of him he couldn’t help but look at your face now.

“You’re late,” he said as he closed his book and set it to the side. You didn’t even bother to look at the Swiss watch on your wrist as you said, “It’s 8:00, like you said.”

“Yes but what I meant was 7:55 which should have translated to 7:45,” he said annoyingly arrogant as he slid a menu toward you, “As per the rules of a first date.”

His tone was serious as was his body language and yet you could see the hint of amusement in his attempt to hide a smile. You smiled softly, setting your bag down next to you, “I was unaware this was a first date.”

“So you assumed this was the second?” Taehyung had a teasing tone now, “I, personally, would not call an evening together at the cemetery a first date.”

“I do say, I’m a bit surprised to even know you consider this a date after we barely talked at all yesterday,” you said as a waitress came over with a customer service smile. Conversation floated between you two with ease.

“Are we ready to order?”

Taehyung looked at you but you weren’t all that hungry so he ordered a single slice of pastry for the two of you to share, “Yesterday was just to enjoy and accept the presence of one another, tonight is to communicate and learn.”

Taehyung never cared much for investing time into someone he was with, usually if he ever showed any interest in someone or was short lived. He’s not sure what would happen exactly but once the excitement of pining for someone romantically wore off… he just did not care anymore. There was too much to handle and he didn’t have time for any of it—not the clinginess, the crying, the whining. God, the whining got to him.

Why do you ignore me so much?

You’re always too busy painting to notice me?

Taehyung, I just want you to spend time with me.

It was the constant whining that he hated because they just did not get that he was completely devoted to his art and nothing else mattered as much as it did. Yes… maybe the small ounce of excitement he felt helped inspire him but… well he does not need whoever he slept with anymore.

The infatuation had worn off and he’s back to being alone again but now he’s a little too curious about you. Hence, why he asked you out first and in such a haste.

“Alright,” you said, “So then tell me something small, for instance, what time did you arrive? 7:45?”

“7:30 actually,” Taehyung said as he lifted his mug of hot tea to his lips, “I had business to take care of around campus and I didn’t want to make the trip back home.”

“Well if you asked for my number I would’ve arrived sooner.”

“It takes away the romantic aspect of waiting for the other to arrive without hearing from them—maybe I’ll write you a letter instead,” he teased. You just laughed softly and asked, “I didn’t peg you as much of a romantic. And what business?”

“Nothing too important.” Taehyung said vaguely and despite your curiosity you didn’t push him to answer. The corner of his lips raised as he looked at you, looked at him and found himself saying, “But as for being a romantic? It depends on who you ask.”

You focused on what he said about that instead of what his business was and that made him happy. What he did was not that important but it was necessary after what had happened with his advisor. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around what she had told him and in the end he made and impulsive decision to gift her something that might make her see things from his point of view. Of course it was slightly biased but he believed his piece really explained his views on beauty enough for her to understand.

Taehyung delivered two paintings to her inbox earlier. The first one was a more finished painting of you, still slightly distorted and a bit dark but there was no hiding the romantic element that radiated off of it. He called it ‘Genuine Beauty’. The second painting was a distorted and bright picture of his professor with exaggerated features that weren’t pleasing to the eye and he called it, ‘Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder’.

A true sentient on what he thought of her words. He wanted to know how she would twist the grotesque image of herself into something beautiful.

“What have you been up to aside from writing me?” Taehyung asked, looking at you with interest.

“Aside from that, I’m afraid not much else,” you confessed, “I’ve been in a sort of dry spell trying to understand my character.”

“Tell me about them.”

“Well, it’s a him and he’s similar to you.”

He listened closely to each word you said, taking in the curve of your mouth when you talked and the way you gestured with your hands. He’ll admit, the character did seem very similar to him so he can understand your curiosity in him and the fact that you seemed to lose yourself in your craft didn’t go unnoticed by him. He simply nodded his head and replied with short answers when asked.

In the end, he offered the only thing he could, “Let me be your case of study then, and in return you’ll be mine.”

You smiled this time, a small arrogant smile as you said, “Will you paint me like one of your French girls?”

He understood the reference and found himself saying, “If you write me like one of the lovers in your poems.”

By the end of the night you found yourself in the back of a taxi driving straight to his place under the pretense of another drink. Conversation seemed to flow with ease between you and it ranged from Davinci to Monet, Shakespeare to Milton and whatever was in between. Even when Taehyung asked such a heavy question, you didn’t seem to struggle to find an answer.

“Do you believe in love?” He had asked as the cab stopped in front of a house similar to an upstate New York townhome. He had you by the hand helping you out of the car and held onto you as he led you up the stone path.

“I have to, I’m a writer,” you told him and he seemed to pull you into him more.

“But what is it that you believe it to be?”

The question did make you think a little bit. It’s not that you thought Taehyung had an ulterior motive in asking you such a thing; it’s not like the two of you were seriously into the idea of it but you wanted to give him the right answer—one that truly described you and your ideals.

You didn’t answer his question right away as he let you into his home which was no different than what you imagined it to be. His apartment was in an old building turned into luxury Victorian styled apartments with modern eclectic touches. It was a put-together mess of sketches and canvases littered around the place. The floor was made of a dark, polished hardwood and his furniture all seemed worn through with velvet cushions and engraved wooden trimmings. He had floor-to-ceiling bay windows with twine hanging across them and papers clipped on with laundry pins to dry. There was a warm feel to the place and it had everything to do with his dedication to earthy tones and shades of Morocco red.

There were painting supplies everywhere from scattered charcoals and cans of linseed oil for his paints. There were stacks of literature books and various art ones piled high on nearly every surface and yet it all seemed to be organized to what you could assume only he could understand. Taehyung didn’t even seem to mind the clutter as he chose instead to ask, “Red or White?”

“Red.” You responded quite simply before resuming your studying of his place, the fireplace on one wall was surrounded by canvases and books—same as the vintage bookshelf and for a moment you wondered if his bedroom looked any similar. The thought vanished quickly when you got the smallest hint of which room that might be from the open door down the hall. He had plain gray sheets on an unmade bed and the furniture in there was scarce, like he barely spent any time there and if he did it wasn’t to sleep—the bags under his eyes told you so.

“Have you thought of an answer to my question yet?” Taehyung asked, reminding you yet again of what he asked earlier. He handed you a wine glass and you took it with a nod in gratitude as he left you to find a record to play.

“I’ve had an answer all along, I just wasn’t sure how you would feel about it,” you said and you could see him smile as he moved the needle over the start of the vinyl, Nocturnes, Op 9 began to play.

“I’m not looking for anything in particular, just an insight on what you think,” he said honestly and with a small sigh you decided to tell him.

“I think love is more so… a choice than an emotion?” You finally said as you watched him take a seat on the floor near his coffee table instead of the velvet couch behind him. He motioned for you to join him, “How so?”

“Anyone can feel love at any given moment but it is fleeting,” you sat down, knees nearly touching his, “Tell me, have you ever felt in love before?”

Your question seemed to catch him off guard yet he answered as bluntly as he would regarding anything else, “Only with my paintings.”

“And that had been a choice, to continue, right?” You asked, “Love like every emotion is temporary and inconsistent. Yes, doing certain things or being with certain people might invoke these feelings but once that has dwindled it is your choice to remain in that constant state of loving something—or someone. I love writing, I always have because it is my choice. I choose to subject myself to the hardships that come with my work even at times where I think I hate it. Even at times when I choose to give up I think about the joy it brings me, the emotions that pour out of me and onto every letter and word I put down on paper. I choose to love writing, I choose to devote myself to it and I choose to put it above anything else in the world, even my own relationships.”

Taehyung could see it in your eyes how strongly you felt about it. Your answer had gone slightly off topic but he understood your reference to it in every word you spew, “So when I say I believe in love… I don’t mean it in regards to a feeling that transpires throughout inconsistently, but I mean it as a choice to continue to feel that way even when it hurts and I can’t take it any more.”

A silence seemed to drag on between you and for a moment you wondered if you said too much and sounded too stupid. Taehyung seemed to inhale and exhale at once, “Well, I do say, we have very similar ideals. I don’t think I could’ve put it into better words than a writer even if I tried.”

You couldn’t help but smile, hiding it behind your wine glass, “Maybe you’ll paint them instead.”

“Maybe, I’ll paint you instead,” Taehyung said with a pale yet serene expression like he was scared to speak his words and exhilarated by them all the same.

How could someone seem to get lost and sound so dazed when talking about writing? Did writing mean as much to you as his art did to him? Is that why there was never a need for many words to be spoken between you? Was that why he was able to enjoy your presence so long and so quickly when before you would never even speak? Was there always this underlying connection between your minds and how you viewed art and your world?

You rested your glass on the table as you took in his living room again and all its character, there was a set of paintbrushes just laying on his table and you reached for one. The wood was smooth between your fingertips as you twisted it before looking up at him with a curious gaze, “With one of these?”

Taehyung simply nodded his head watching you lift your skirt up just enough to expose a bit of leg and you brushed the art tool against your calf, “It’s soft.”

His tongue ran over his lips and he leaned forward to gently take the brush back. You were nearing an apology for taking it without asking him first but he simply scooted closer to you on the blanket he laid beneath you and placed your legs over his, skirt of your dress rising even further until he was running the brush over the curve of your knee, “I use it to blend shadows, like this.”

The brush felt soft against your skin, sending tingles down your spine as he ran it over you in circular motions, eyes on yours.

“I tried painting once,” you said as his finger slowly traded with the brush until he was softly touching you, “I wasn’t that good, I couldn’t portray the right picture.”

Taehyung just smiled as he felt you hand go over his while taking the brush back until you were tracing the curve of his wrist, “Paint with your words, and show me you’d write me, like your character.”

“He is very similar to you,” you said, “In almost every aspect and I didn’t realize that until today.”

“Mm,” Taehyung hummed in content when you lifted the brush toward the collar of his unbuttoned shirt, teasing him without realizing it. You seemed to use the brush against him without much thought of what you were doing and how it affected him. You should know, though, that the feel of his art tool against his skin would feel good to him. The soft bristles tickled his collarbone, “How would he make love?”

That seemed to catch you by surprise as you slowed your touch to look up at him. He just bit his lip, hand on your leg caressing it as he waited for your response. Without missing a beat, you said, “Slowly, starting with a sweet kiss.”

A small smirk came to his face, one that only he could pull off without looking cocky. He looked smart and pretty with his glasses and blonde hair, when he spoke he made it sound poetic and when he looked at you it felt like he was focused on whatever was beneath the surface. You watched him push his glasses up the slope of his nose and before you knew it, he was leaning closer, lithe fingers coming up to touch your chin and tilt your jaw.

Although you knew what was coming, there was no denying the small second of hesitation that coursed through you when his lips so tenderly pressed against yours, his voice low as he asked, “Like this?”

You licked your lips despite the extremely small space between yours and his and without the ounce of hesitation from earlier, your hand came up to his neck where you pulled him into you for a real kiss. It started off slowly just like the two of you knew it would but there was no denying the desire that laced throughout it. At first all that happened was your mouths moving against each other, getting used to the idea of kissing — something neither of you have done in a while. Then, it became more feverish. If possible, you seemed to move closer with your hand on his thigh to support yourself. You were on your knees leaning into him and he had a single hand against the floor to support his sitting position while the other was cupping your chin for the best angle. There was a growing intensity between your mouths, lips moving more forcefully now, saliva gradually increasing when you felt his tongue make a swiping motion against your lips.

“Or like this?” His voice had become more hoarse with need. He enjoyed feeling the way your body seemed to lean toward his and he seemed to ask, “What would he do next?”

“It’s not what he would do next,” you said as you moved without your own violation and trailed your lips along the curve of his jaw, “But what would happen to him next.”

Taehyung’s head seemed to tip back as he used both of his hands to keep him upright while you moved between his patted legs to kiss down his neck. He licked at his lips, slowly blinking at the first feel of your tongue licking his ear lobe before you sucked it into your mouth making a tingle run down his spine. Your warm breath tickling his ear made his breath bitch and it didn’t take you long to realize that you had found his weak spot. Unable to help yourself you brought your mouth back to his for a kiss that was much needier than any of the ones prior.

“Y/n,” Taehyung’s throat was dry and it made his voice raspier than usual, “Touch me more.”

The words surprised you. You didn’t take him for much of a womanizer but you didn’t think he would seem this touch starved. The last person you had slept with had been your dear friend, Namjoon, and when you realized feelings were beg bring to get involved you were to end the rendezvous that had transpired between you two in an effort to save the friendship and his feelings. You couldn’t explain why you could never see him as more than a friend—and you couldn’t explain why it was so easy to view Taehyung as something more. Your mind had been drawn to him before your body and yet it all felt the same.

You began to crawl away from him and in an effort to keep this going, he went after you with another kiss before your hand touched his chest to keep him in place. It got to the point where Taehyung wasn’t sure if it was the cashmere brown sweater he wore that made his body heat up, or if it was being too close to the fireplace but he felt himself begin to break into a sweat.

He stretched his legs out before him when he got the hint of what you wanted to do watching you shimmy down until you were nearly eye level with his pants and the evident bulge becoming more prominent with each passing second. Taehyung was not ashamed of how quickly you seemed to get to him and his body’s reaction to you. Sex was a normal thing, it was poetic and passionate if done with the right person and he hasn’t done it in a while—a long while. It was completely normal for him to release a light gasp when your hand grazed his inner thigh just inching toward his growing erection.

The two of you made eye contact once more, his lip caught between his teeth and his eyelids low in a lustful gaze that matched your own. There was a strong attraction toward each other — infatuation if you will — and you can’t say there’s romantic feelings between you but there’s no denying that there has been the underlying sexual tension that rose from a clear understanding of each other’s devotion to your work. It turns you on to know he seems to connect with your ideals.

You didn’t even realize Taehyung had moved a hand behind you until he was pulling on the back of your head to drag you back into a needy kiss. Your hands had already gone toward his slacks and you had been unzipping the front as the two of you made out once more. Taehyung’s hand fell back to the ground with a groan as you yanked at his underwear making him lift his hips enough for them to come down with his pants. A small hissing sound left his lips as his hard dick finally made its appearance, springing free of its right confines, hard enough to already angle toward his navel.

Taehyung was not ashamed by the way his stomach caved in with a deep breath at the first feel of your hand wrapping around his tip spreading the beads of precum that had already dribbled out the slit. His tongue was in your mouth, sliding against yours with you swallowing each groan he let out when you began to stroke his length slowly from base to tip. Like earlier, when you tried pulling away from the kiss to catch your breath, he was following after you to stop you from breaking apart from him.

A thin line of drool connected your mouth to his as you finally pulled back, biting down on your lip. He watched you look down at his exposed member, leaning down until you were face to face with it. His long fingers curled around your hair, slowly pushing your head down just a middle until he felt the first tender lick of your tongue along his tip. Taehyung’s entire body reacted to the way you tentatively licked his head teasingly making a small shudder travel right through him.

You have to say, Taehyung has one of the prettiest dicks you’ve ever seen and you just couldn’t help but want to savor it. It was just so pretty and you found yourself wanting to play with it some more. Your hand held onto him at his base as you ran your tongue down the side of his length lathering it in drool to aid your closed fist.

His brows scrunched together as he attempted to watch what you were doing. He could feel your hand jerking him off as you teasingly kissed up his side and tip, tongue swirling around his slit that leaked precum. He just couldn’t see you over the bulk of his sweater.

With an annoyed huffed, he released your hair to pull at his sweater with one arm as he brought it up toward his chest and tucked it under his jaw. Just as he had it fixed, a low and deep sound vibrating in his chest feeling your lips finally surround his tip, sucking gently before relaxing and taking more of him inside. You made yourself relax so you could loosen your jaw enough to accommodate his length as you began to suck him off, tongue licking along the bottom side everytime you bobbed your head up and down.

You had a firm hand on his upper thigh as the other was at his base against his pelvic bone to hold his hips down and let your mouth do all the work. His sweater slipped from under his chin making him groan as he threw his head back, “So good.”

He kept his gaze on the ceiling taking in the feel of your warm and tight mouth taking his cock so deeply. You looked up at his stomach trying to see his face but with the way his head was tilted back, you just couldn’t. All you could see was his chest rise and lower with each breathy sigh he let out, ducking his cock deeper down your throat.

Unable to help yourself, you moved your hand to his navel, feeling his breathing better and he needed to see what you looked like with his dick in your mouth.

He held the end of his sweater between his teeth as he stared down the expanse of his torso to where you laid between his legs swallowing around his cock with a dark look in your eyes that had him muffling a moan.

His hips bucked helplessly into you making you swallow more and more of his length till you couldn’t breathe properly anymore and needed to get off. The hand you still had on his dick began to stroke him, wrist flicking on each upward stroke to make your palm run along his slit while you caught your breath. You watched him in complete awe, he was so hard and his balls tightened against that you couldn’t help but lick between them.

"Fuck," the sweater made it hard to hear him as hw sank his teeth into it feeling it begin to moisten annoyingly so bur he was not going to miss the sight of you kissing below his cock to his balls.

When you finally decided to take him back in your mouth there was no slow build up, it was quick and sudden as you took him down your throat to the point where you gagged around him. The way he bit into the sweater looked like a restraint and he looked so pretty with the fire reflecting off his tan, bare chest and his blonde hair was just a knotted mess from how often he shook it.

“Y/n, you feel so good,” You were never much of a talker during sex, especially if it wasn’t genuine and just superficial dirty talk but he sounded so good moaning your name even if you couldn’t hear him properly.

There wasn’t much warning aside from the incessant moaning that fell from his lips and was swallowed in cashmere for you to know he was close. His hips bucked messily into your mouth, cock twitching with the need to just let go and when you met your mouth with your fist jerking off the rest of him… he just couldn’t take anymore.

Taehyung’s head fell back with a dry moan as the urge to cum got the best of him and he let go in your mouth. You didn’t seem to mind either, once the surprise of the suddenness had worn off, you didn’t hesitate but to try and swallow as much of the thick semen as you could, not at all bothered by the taste of it. Taehyung had to let his sweater go to breathe heavily through his parted lips as he used his elbows to sit himself up in the blanket, trying to understand what had just happened.

“Mm,” you hummed, proud of yourself for making him cum down your throat and you sat up to look at him. Taehyung met your eyes with his feeling heavy with need as he licked his dry lips before forcing himself to sit up properly so he could drag you into a deep kiss. You released a light mewl in surprise, kissing him back eagerly with his hand below your ear on your neck guiding you to angle your head one way while he went the other.

There was not a single part of him that felt bothered at the taste of himself on your tongue, if anything it only made him want you more so he could repay you for treating him so well. Once you had gotten lost in your little makeout, it was easy for you to follow his lead as he moved over you to get you to lie down in his place. The only time he pulled away from you was to finally free himself from the confines of his stupid sweaters and kick off his pants the rest of the way. It didn’t take you long to get what he wanted and you hurried to remove your cardigan feeling the straps of your dress begin to slip off your shoulders. Taehyung dragged you to him, kissing along the exposed skin of your collarbone and shoulder, hands sliding down your back till they could inch the dress down and off of you, making you take it off through the bottom so he wouldn’t have to pull away again.

Your bra and underwear were made of a thin crème colored lace that looked pretty against your complexion and soft between his fingertips as he ran his hands over your covered breasts that had been taunting him all night.

A quiet gasp left your lips due to the way his lips kissed down the valley of your breaths, soft hair tickling your neck. Taehyung’s hands held onto your sides, sliding them up to the end of your bra, feeling you arch your back into his affections until he was able to move them under your to grab at the clasp. Once he was able to unhook it, he tugged it off your arms letting you throw it to the side and dragged him into another kiss when he cupped your bare tits in his warm hands, using his thumbs to rub over your hardening nipples.

“Taehyung,” you whined softly against him, eyes on the ceiling when he began to leave love bites along your neck, traveling his wet mouth lower and lower down your stomach.

“Hm,” he hummed in acknowledgement, making his way between your legs while his hands groped your chest loving the softness of your skin under his rough painter’s hands.

As Taehyung slipped further between your legs till his face was near your spread legs, he looked down. The lace underwear was transparent enough for him to see just a bit underneath and he could see a small shadow of slick over where your cunt should be. He tried to look up at you through his blonde fringe and you sat forward enough to brush it back, smiling as he pressed a teasing kiss against the hood of your clit over your underwear. You lied back down letting yourself relax feeling his fingers hook under the hem of your panties till he was tugging it off and move your thighs over his shoulders so he four fit snugly against you.

Taehyung didn’t waste time teasing you, he had already been so turned on that not even cumming down your throat was able to calm his raging hormones. He just wanted to have you as soon as he could, any way he could, and that meant with his tongue stiffening as he parted your folds around him before licking flatly toward your clit. A light moan left your lips as your clit immediately reacted to stimulation, a small gush of slick pushing out of your pussy with arousal. Taehyung was not inexperienced in the art of making someone cum undone on his to hue and that was becoming more and more evident with the way he made out with your cunt like it was your mouth.

“Oh my god,” you threw your head back, out of breath, as his tongue began to flick messily at your clit while hands slid further down your inner thighs until he was using his thumbs to pull your folds apart for him. You could feel your wetness begin to drip further down but he was quick to leave your clit and lap his tongue against your wet entrance where your arousal seemed to form a puddle at. With the way his thumbs kept you open, you felt everything.

Every now and then his thumb would teasingly push in just a little more than before, acting like he didn’t even notice he was doing it while he hungrily sucked on your clit, tugging it between his lips. His thumb was rubbing against your labia, pressing into it, teasing your entrance every now and then by pushing into it until he felt your legs begin to tremble around him. Unable to help himself, he got a big more rough, tonguing your clit with such effort that his head shook with eagerness, swallowing your slick and pressing his face into your cunt to taste all that you had to offer.

“Oh,” you breathed out shakily, hand sinking into his hair when he nosed at your clit, tongue joining his finger as he thrusted it into you, “I-I, oh god.”

“Mhm,” Taehyung nodded, urging you to let go of him and you had to bite your lip to keep from moaning. Your thighs tried shutting but his head didn’t let you and instead you pressed them against him making him groan with need, eyes nearly rolling as he doubled his efforts.

Your throat became dry as you planted heavily, hips bucking against his mouth until finally you felt the knot in your stomach come undone. His motions did not miss a beat in licking everything you had to offer as your orgasm came in a wave.

“S-so, good,” you breathed out tiredly feeling your pussy walls clenching around nothing and as much as you wanted to just be done, you needed him inside you. When he came up to kiss you, you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him flush against you so his hard cock rutted against your wet pussy. The taste of each other on your tongues was what made it easy for you two to want to keep going without the thought of repercussions. His hand slid between your sweaty bodies to hold his cock, lining it up with your entrance, bumping into your clue as he refused to break away from the kiss.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close as the two of you looked at each other with such need, such want that your lips didn’t spend too long apart from each other.

Your tongue met his just as his cock met the inside of your pussy, taking it slowly as he stroked himself with your slick to ease himself in better. His dick was rock hard, and your pussy was so fucking wet he couldn’t help but moan into your mouth as you took him in.

Taehyung has to hold onto you with a hand on your waist to keep you from sliding away from him too much as the blanket wrinkles on his wooden floor. He had his other tucked by the side of your head looking down at you lovingly as he finally began to thrust, “Tell me if it’s too much, love.”

“Mhm,” you said softly, legs falling apart even more to accommodate his as he dug his knees into the floor so he use his hips to fuck you better. A groan left his lips at the expert roll of your pelvis against his taking more and more of his length inside your tight walls.

“You make me feel so full,” you moaned gently into his ear as he dropped his head down against your neck to try and ignore the fact that your pussy around his dick without any protective layer between them felt so fucking good. You were already so close and he’s barely started. He fucked you slowly but firmly, getting himself used to being inside you and sucking on your neck, his hand left your hip to cup your breast once more and you gasped when he pinched your nipple.

“So tight,” Taehyung breathed out heavily with a single touch thrust that had your walls tightening around him, “So good for me.”

He did it again, and once again drew another moan out of you, repeating his thrusts more roughly than before until you were moaning out a string of his name.

Taehyung was well endowed and you never doubted that for even a second. He knew how to have sex, not just to fuck, but to have sex. It wasn’t just loud groans and rough thrusts. He was sensual, he kissed your neck, whispered sweet words of praise in your ear, touch your body as he fucked you almost passionately—unlike the usual guys you hook up with.

“It’s like you were made for me,” Taehyung groaned, brows scrunched together in concentration as he pulled back to sit and swing your right leg over him to press against your left until you were nearly lying on your side. He laid down next to you, curving his body against yours and lifting your leg back and held it up with his knee as he fucked you from the side. His lips were against your ear, whispering, “Just for me, like my own creation.”

“Mhm,” you hummed, “Just for you, please Taehyung, I’m so close.”

You looked straight out of a vintage erotica film. His apartment was warm due to the fireplace and comforting because of the classical music playing. The moon looked over you as you had sex, nearly love making, lying on your sides with his body cuddled into yours, fucking you with his cock while groping your breasts in his hands. You had to angle your head back and then your neck to kiss him and he swallowed your mouth with his, thrusts getting tougher as he curled around you, “Me too, love, all for you.”

“So paint me,” you moaned, fucking back against him.

For a moment he wondered if you meant on a canvas, or with his cock in your pussy, but he realized he would gladly do both if you let him. Your hand slid back to guide his hips into yours, “Cum, Taehyung, inside me, please.”

“Oh god,” a low growl left his lips as he dug his face into your hair, “Fuck, Y/n, d-don’t tempt me.”

“Do it,” your hand came up to his hair now, dragging his head toward yours until your lips met in a messy kiss, “I’m going to cum, Tae, please.”

It wasn’t a good idea. You were on the pill but he didn’t know that, all he knew was that he wasn’t wearing a condom and he wanted to fill you with so much cum that he painted you white.

“Mhm,” he moaned when you tugged on his bottom lip between your teeth and his hand pinched your hips, “Cum, Y/n, please—oh fuck.”

The only thing that came from you two was the sound of skin slapping as the urge to cum overtook you both and you were fucking like rabbits in heat. Nothing but animalistic grunts left him as he finally felt the flood of release you let go around with him with a whine of his name and before he knew it, he was cumming.

You immediately felt full with his release as it joined yours, cock pulsing inside you as he waited a moment to reel his emotions back in, sweaty forehead pressed against yours, “So good.” He hugged you closely, breathing heavily into your neck, softly kissing your skin affectionately.

It took you both some time to regain awareness of what had just happened and you lied on the fur blanket he had tossed on the floor. The fire sizzled behind you and some classical song [you were ashamed to admit you didn’t know] was playing. Taehyung seemed to be more in control of himself now and reached up to his small table in search of his pack. Once he had a cigarette between his lips, he lay back down next to you to catch his breath, pressing it to yours next.

There was a sort of glow to your skin, your eyes shined with the night sky reflecting through the windows. Light came from the fire not far behind and a small dim lamp in the corner yet the moon was still casted over you two.

His eyes traced your features once more and before he knew it, he was saying something unexpected, “She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.”

Despite the way your heart seemed to stop, your brows furrowed, “What?”

Taehyung took another drag of his cigarette, “Who wrote that? ‘She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen’ I read it somewhere… ‘With stars in her eyes’.”

Your eyes seemed to widen as you thought it over for a second. A sense of realization flooded you but even knowing you might be right, you still shyly asked, “Virgina Woolf?”

“Yes, I believe so, ‘She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, with stars in her eyes and veils in her hair.’ I read it years ago,” Taehyung stared out at the moon through the bay windows, “Anyways, it just came to mind, and reminded me of you.”

There was a cloud of smoke drifting into nothing like they were his words being absorbed all around you. After that a silence seemed to fill the room and it was so calming in fact that you found yourself lulled to sleep against his chest.

It wasn’t until hours later when you had woken to loud noises, did you realize that he had not had the luxury of peaceful post-sex sleep.

The first thing you had noticed in your haze of sleep was the sky still blue out and the fire still crackling behind you. The second was that you still slept on the floor and Taehyung was not beside you anymore. It took you some time to realize all the noise that had woken you up was coming from him and his quick brush strokes.

Taehyung had a pair of jeans on and a smock. He didn’t even bother with a shirt, just slipped the smock over his bare chest and he sat on the floor with a pallet full of paint in his hands as he did soft strokes on his canvas. He was so focused that he didn’t seem to mind his glasses which had slipped down to the tip of his nose, lips slightly parted in concentration and eyes bouncing around his painting.

You wondered what this meant for you. You didn’t know what time it was but the way he worked so diligently didn’t even make you want to stay, what if it would bother him? You don’t want to do that and he seems to have already forgotten you were there and what you had just done. With a small sigh you looked around for all of your things, finishing getting dressed and in search of your shoes and bag.

Taehyung’s strokes were fast and agile, he didn’t even have to think of how he was painting, he was just moving mindlessly and mixing all the right colors and blending in all the right places. You took a seat on the sofa trying to put your boots back on.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung asked but his eyes never left the canvas. You could barely hear him over the sound of the record player still playing and it took you a second to know he was even talking to you.

You looked up curiously, “Um… it’s late, I should probably go, I don’t want to disturb your work.”

You were very understanding actually. There are many times you’ve woken up in the middle of the night to write and you didn’t waste time on thinking of anything else while doing it so if Taehyung was the same about his painting then you didn’t want to bother him.

Taehyung pushed his glasses up with the tip of his brush as he finally looked at you, “You won’t disturb me. Stay.”

He watched as you brought your lower lip between your teeth in thought before saying, “Seriously Tae, I don’t mind leaving. You’re working, I understand.”

“But I mind,” Taehyung said in his deep voice that sounded even deeper this late with the fire in the fireplace still crackling and Beethoven’s String Quartet No. 14 playing in the background. You didn’t say anything for a moment and he ran a hand through his messy hair, a small paint streak coating a strand, “Won’t you stay, Y/n? I’ve been in a slump and right now it just hit me all at once and I think it’s because of you. Please, won’t you stay?”

“Can I watch?”

Taehyung did not hesitate to nod his head and motion for you to sit on the floor next to him so you moved quickly to do so.

By the end of the night you watched him paint until dawn with your head resting against his back adoringly. His brush strokes were hypnotizing and the way he captured the light perfectly had you in awe, especially when you realized it was a painting of you.

It inspired you the way he was so devoted to his work and it reminded you of yourself.

Your days carried on as usual after that night with Taehyung. The only differences being ones that involved him. For instance, he has called you a couple times —he’s completely against the act of texting. It’s never anything major, usually to ask how your day has been or to get coffee. There was no sign of an actual relationship but it was close to it.

Today you had your shared anatomy class and he sat next to you instead of behind you like he normally would.

You’re not very fond of the fact that he’s distracting you more than you would like him to but it’s something you can’t explain. Your pen scribbled away in your yellow page notebook with word after word just piecing together effortlessly. Taehyung was utterly fascinated by it all, sometimes you wouldn’t even look down but your pen seemed to never fully lift off the page. You filled page after page in the three hour class, eyes on the professor but nothing you wrote down had to do with what he was teaching.

Every now and then you would look over at him and your eyes would meet, he would raise a brow and you would give him a smile, before looking down to write.

“I don’t think you heard a single thing he said today,” Taehyung said once the two of you made your way out of the lecture hall side by side. From the way you stared off into space, lips moving every now and then as if mouthing silent words, he knew you weren’t listening. He doubts you meant to ignore him but clearly you seemed to be in your own world right now, just thinking about writing and writing and he gets it.

You weren’t thinking of anything else, and he knows this because he had to grab onto your waist and pull you back to keep you from walking right into the pouring rain just outside. You seemed to snap back into reality and looked around, “Did you say something?”

Taehyung was opening his umbrella for you, pulling you under it beside him, “I’ve written notes for you, you seemed a bit distracted to take them yourself today.”

Your eyes slowly widened in surprise as it finally dawned on you that you had spent the last three hours doing nothing but writing about him. You came to a sudden stop and he waited there beside you with the rain pounding on his umbrella. With a small sigh, he let go of you to rummage through his bag with his free hand and took out his notebook, “I wrote two of everything.”

“Taehyung,” you said, “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he said with a shrug, “But you were so lost in your writing I didn’t want anything disturbing you. I had no problem with it, I’m a fast writer and a good listener.”

“Thank you,” you finally began to walk again now that you couldn’t bear the cold standing in one place, “I am bad at focusing on anything else when I write.”

“I understand,” he had to speak up so you could hear him over the rain, “And if you do not think I would be a bother, maybe you’ll let me watch you write more?”

“You’ll get bored,” you said as the two of you walked toward his car, a vintage Chevrolet Corvette that belonged to his grandfather.

“Watching you?” He asked, holding the door open for you, “Never.”

Your apartment was how he pictured it—books and papers scattered everywhere. You were still much neater than him but not by much, clearly the two of you focused too much on your craft that it’s completely taken over everything.

Your place was small yet spacious and well furnished with vintage chairs and mahogany bookshelves. There was a slight clutter of books upon books and dead plants that didn’t get enough sun with the curtains closed. It was warm and had your lovely scent. There was a stack of papers on a desk next to a laptop and an expensive looking typewriter.

There wasn’t much of a conversation going on between you, the last time you said something to him was when you asked him if he needed a drink. Your back was to him and he spent about an hour or so sitting alone on the daybed as he drew in his sketchbook.

After some time when you finally decided to join him, you were exhausted and physically drained. You lied down with your head on his lap looking up at him when his hand began to caress your cheek. “Taehyung.”

“Yes, my love?” He asked with his gaze meeting yours. The name just slipped and he didn’t care to take it back, only watched you curiously still waiting to hear what you would say. You blinked once, “I think I’m beginning to understand better.”

You had been writing nonstop for a long time but for the first time it felt like you finally understood your work.

There was no way to explain it but these interactions with Taehyung—your living reverie—have opened your eyes to his character and the way you wanted to write him in the first place. He was everything you had been searching for.

He leaned back, startled by the sudden way you sat up, hand around his looking at him, “You.”

“Me?” Taehyung asked with his hands on your waist, shifting you more on his lap, “You understand me?”

All it took was one nod of your head for him to be pulling you into a kiss meeting you halfway. He had a hand on your chin, angling your head opposite of his letting the kiss deepen, soon he was tracing the curve of your neck with his jaw. Every ounce of lust and greed poured out in his fingers when he touched you.

It didn’t take Jungkook long to realize something about his friend seemed different. He was used to Taehyung isolating himself when he had a wave of creativity. There would be days on end where Jungkook would call only for every call to be ignored. He would even write his friend letters but he never answered him. When he was back to normal, Taehyung would look tired like he hadn't eaten or slept in days.

Right now, Jungkook sees Taehyung but he doesn’t think Taehyung sees him. Despite sitting across from him, he wouldn’t look his way. Instead he was staring out the large windows that overlooked the courtyard

“Have you eaten?” Jungkook asked, looking up from his sketchbook. The two had been on the second floor of the library this evening studying classical art techniques. Jungkook had gotten bored and began to sketch up an idea for another sculpture while Taehyung drew someone he couldn’t recognize. His friend didn’t even so much as flinch and give any sign that he was listening.

A small scoff left his lips, “Taehyung.” With an annoyed huff, he reached for his sketchbook and watched with a confused expression, “Who is this?”

It was quite detailed despite how little time he had to draw this and Jungkook was in awe. For a second he wondered if this was original work from Taehyung, all created from his mind but as he followed Taehyung’s gaze out the window, he realized it wasn’t.

It was you.

You sat on a wooden bench facing the swan fountain and there was a book in your hands. Jungkook couldn’t make out the book but seemed to have all your attention because you stopped every now and then to highlight something then jot it down in a notebook. There were powder blue headphones on your head and you were in a red lace long sleeve top with roses embroidered on and under was a white shirt. The black skirt you wore reached below your knees with a slit on the side that exposed your boots and over it all, you had on a black coat. He’ll admit, you did look rather captivating against the dead green of the lawn and trees paired with the foggy sky from days on end of rain.

Taehyung seemed to have found his newest muse and it was all he could think about.

“Are you still interested in her?” Jungkook finally asked, catching the way a small smile seemed to fall on Taehyung’s face—something he rarely got to see despite how easily he gave them to you. Jungkook did recognize you in the drawing better once he got a good look at you. He had almost forgotten seeing you weeks ago when he was with Taehyung, but he had certainly forgotten his friend’s knowledge and curiosity of you.

“Only a little,” Taehyung said, ignoring the way Jungkook looked at him with disbelief. He was used to his friend having a sudden infatuation with a certain person but they were short lived and always ended with the poor girl crying about how cold he was—Jungkook knows because he was always there to pick up their broken pieces with a night in his bed [Taehyung never cared].

“She’s hot,” Jungkook said, half teasingly to read how his friend would feel. Taehyung merely gave him a side glance in acknowledgment but the smile he had for you had tightened as he looked back outside.

“It’s that guy again,” Jungkook pointed out as they both watched outside, “What’s his name?”

Kim Namjoon.

Taehyung was used to seeing him around throughout the years but he never had a need to pay attention to him before. Like most of those who he sees in passing they never become more than that—just a passing blur that he doesn’t care to know a single thing about. Namjoon used to be one of the ones he ignored until he heard you mention him once or twice.

“Who knows,” Taehyung said, shifting his gaze down to his sketch pad avoiding the sight of Namjoon and you now standing like you had somewhere to go.

Jungkook, the ever curious and procrastinating, kept watching you just out of sheer boredom. The library had gone dark aside from the few kerosene lamps scattered across tables but it was already getting hard to see his sketches properly so now he’s just waiting for Taehyung to finish.

Suddenly, all too suddenly that it made him jump in his seat, Taehyung was standing, shoving his things in his bag loud enough to create an echo in the cold library. Jungkook looked up at him, pencil laying limp in his hand now, “Are we done?”

Taehyung pushed his chair into the wooden table, not bothering to look back at his friend as he stormed off, “Yes.”

Not long after he watched his friend make his abrupt leave from the library… he saw him now approaching you and Namjoon.

You were blissfully unaware that you had been watching through the windows of a library as much as you were unaware of Taehyung coming up behind you as Namjoon talked. “I was thinking maybe we could go catch that new movie that just came out.”

“Oh, I was going to do some writing—You won’t believe it Joonie,” your tone changed so suddenly as you grabbed him by the arm, jerking him toward you excitedly carrying on like he hadn’t said anything, “It’s like I can’t stop writing, you wouldn’t believe how easily the words are flowing like… I don’t know, I’ve never felt this way before, Joonie.”

“That’s good, Y/n but,” Namjoon’s words slowed down as he looked behind you at the looming figure standing a few feet away. He’s never spoken a word to Kim Taehyung despite both being grad students, he only knows of him from what others have spoken and he’s very… cold. Since when did you and him begin to talk? Namjoon took your hands in his as he pulled you closer to have your attention knowing you still didn’t know who was behind you, “But it’s nice to get a break, you don’t want to overwork yourself.”

“You don’t get it, Namjoon,” you said his name instead of the affectionate nickname you’ve always called him, he couldn’t help but look at Taehyung who pretended like he wasn’t watching closely with a cigarette dangling between his fingers, “I can’t stop. I cannot stop. If I-I do, I don’t know.”

His gaze shifted behind you making you turn to look too and your eyes seemed to soften as you made eye contact with the dirty blonde you’ve been spending time with lately.

“Y/n,” Taehyung’s deep voice spoke as he stared at you two, “I thought you would be busy writing”

“I’m on my way to right now,” you said, taking a step toward him with your back to your friend, “Would you join me?”

A smile came to his face as he pushed his glasses up, “If I could paint you again.”

You stood still in thought. The first time he painted you was after you had sex for the first time when it felt warm, passionate and hungry. He never slept that night, he stayed up the entire time getting the right blends of pigment on your body as it lay on the flue blanket completely nude. You’re not sure if he knew what saying that would make you think but from the way his brow raised questioning made you think he did.

Namjoon felt his jaw clench, eyes glaring at Taehyung who didn’t even bat an eye in his direction. You looked back to Namjoon now who waited for you with a bated breath. You walked up to him making his heart face as you pressed your lips against his cheek with your softly brushing against his jaw. The kiss was tender on his face and when he looked down at you, you gave him an apologetic smile, “Will you call me?”

“Will you answer?” Namjoon asked but you weren’t beside him anymore. You were next to Taehyung who took your book bag off your shoulders and put it over his, a hand grazing your back as he talked to you but too far out of your friend’s ear shot.

“What did your friend want?” Taehyung asked.

“To see a movie but I have to finish what I’m writing before it slips my mind,” You said moving your hand to his bent arm walking alongside him, “I’ll have to catch up with him another day.”

He didn’t have anything to say to that but you could still feel his eyes on you. A part of you wanted to ignore his gaze because you find yourself at a loss for words any time he looks at you that way. It’s like he sees through you not at you and sometimes you don’t know which one is better.

There’s no denying that he likes the look of you, he finds you attractive and not just physically. You know that. You just can’t tell what he’s thinking that makes him look at you that way.

“Namjoon.”

He stood alone where you once had been beside him, just watching you leave with the art major he had no idea you were even involved with. Since when did you begin to talk to him and how did Namjoon never notice? Did you just decide that you would not be open with him anymore?

“Jimin,” Namjoon looked at his friend, a bit stunned, “Hey.”

The ballerina watched after you alongside him now as he asked, “Y/n is leaving with Taehyung?”

“Are they together?” Namjoon asked suddenly, “Did you know?”

Jimin shook his head no, “Not exactly, I mean, Y/n never hid the fact that she had a thing for Taehyung, I’m just surprised to see them leave together. Y/n never told me they began to talk.”

Namjoon bit his lip nervously, “You don’t think they’ll date or anything, do you? This just seems sudden.”

He looked to his friend for some comfort but all Jimin did was shrug his shoulders and say, “I don’t know, you know Y/n doesn’t really date and neither does he, they’re always too focused on writing or painting to think about anything else. Who knows, they might just work out because of how similar they are.”

“Yeah but…” Namjoon was trying to find words to say but nothing came to mind. Maybe he was just being bitter… he’s been your friend for years. He’s always been there for you anytime you needed him without question. You were attracted to him enough to sleep with him but was that all it was ever going to be? You won’t see him as more than just a friend but then Kim Taehyung comes along and suddenly you have no problem walking away from Namjoon to go with him?

Jimin looked at his friend apologetically, he sympathized with him. He’s known you for longer than Namjoon has and he’s been through this exact same thing before too. There was a time when he thought you and him were the closest until Namjoon came along and suddenly you spent all your time with him instead. Now Namjoon is experiencing what Jimin did but this time because of Taehyung and he feels bad for that.

“Look, I’m going to be honest,” Jimin tried to work out what he was going to say so it didn’t come off badly, “I think, Y/n loves the idea of Taehyung on paper… how she can write or create him like she’s done with you and I in the past. I think maybe it’s nothing past something superficial but at the same time…”

“At the same time,” Jimin repeated himself with a bated breath, “I see a lot of similarities between them especially when it comes to putting their work first and maybe that’s something they seem to understand about each other that we don’t.”

Namjoon didn’t get it.

So was it not that you two had feelings for each other?

Was it not that you might love each other?

Was it just that you two understood each other?

He doesn’t get it. Now, Namjoon might not understand your obsession with perfecting every aspect of your writing… but that didn’t mean he didn’t love you. He loved you a lot—more than he assumes Taehyung could love you.

It’s not like it’s a secret, Namjoon has always been open about the way he felt about you so why did you choose someone else? All because he couldn’t understand you the way Taehyung might? Is it because he can’t just look at you and know what you need the way Taehyung can?

Is it because he doesn’t spend hours missing sleep or eating just so he could obsess over his work too?

How could Taehyung possibly understand you more than he does?

::.

okokok this was kinda long but I’m sorry, blonde Taehyung as an art major was doing it for me 🫶this was a romance but also not necessarily bc the focus isn’t entirely on their relationship 🤒neither one of them are supposed to be super likable so if you hate them and the way oc did Joon and Jimin dirty i get it 🫡but they just genuinely do not think about anything but their craft.

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#kim taehyung #bts taehyung #taehyung smut #taehyung au #taehyung #taehyung imagine #Taehyung fic #Taehyung fanfic #taehyung oneshot #taehyung one shot #taehyung x reader #taehyung x oc #Taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #bts angst #bts fic #bts imagines

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dailyfloweys · 1 month ago

Text

Flowey Analysis from a fellow flower 🌼

Happy National Siblings Day! for April 10th, I'm posting something a bit different than my usual daily flowey art. I'll be talking a bit about Flowey's character and comparing the nuances of his character with my personal experiences.

talk of PTSD and sibling death ahead:

Day 28 | I see you

Before I dive into the meat and potatoes of his grief I just want to add how I view flowey in terms of how he Feels Emotions because I forgot that not everyone is on the same page:

-him lacking a soul to feel compassion or most of his own feelings (besides anger and fear) feels very representative of how the brain will protect itsself after experiencing extreme stress situations like the shit he went through… There will be a wall that feels impenetrable between you and your emotions and it takes sooo much to find your way over that wall. and when you get over it its just one time and you wont really remember how to get back over that wall. yeah.. It gets a little easier each time at least.. And people who love you can help make it easier too ❤️

-him being immortal but getting reincarnated before reaching adulthood… feels very representative of how PTSD works on the brain and how ultimately it will just take Much longer before your brain can fully mature.. He needs some more time to live! Him further traumatizing himself by going through constant resets is not living!!

Ok. Now lets start the post:

He just misses his best friend. He misses the only one that understands him. He just wants to talk to them one more time. He doesn't understand why hes alive or why he was left behind. It's a weird feeling to be alive and be forced to live through so many years without that once-familiar company. The longer you go on without them, the harder memories with them are to recall. You start to fixate on a set few that you feel are most important, and soon it becomes your mantra. It starts getting harder to recall what their face looks like, but you remember when you look in a mirror. (I talked about this before on my sideblog too)

It being almost 6 years now since my brother passed away, this has been the culmination of how I've felt throughout the years. Maybe it wasn't intentional of Toby Fox to have Floweys simple smile resemble Charas smile, but I can't help but see it that way. You may not notice the similarities you have to your sibling at first, but once they pass on, those features really start to shine. In Floweys case, he didn't start to resemble chara until after losing them. It can certainly feel this way-- that the features just sort of appear out of nowhere. Parts of you that you ignored are now more apparant than ever.

Flowey/Asriel talking about how Chara is the only person that understands him is something I get more than anything. The sibling you lived and grew with would absolutely understand you more than anyone else... They know what your home life is like, what you get for dinner, secrets you dont tell anyone... Regardless of how close you feel with your sibling, they know you better than anyone else.

Losing someone that you have this kind of relationship with can very easily cause your whole world to fall apart in front of you, and you're left to pick up the pieces. It's usually preferred that you have others in your life to help you with this process, but if you don't... It could be hard to heal. Not only that, but it could be easier to hurt a lot more than you should in the grieving process.

Isolated and alone, there isn't much to do besides hope for something better than this. Mom or Dad couldn't fix me, so maybe... maybe They can. They'll come back for me. They know I can't live without them, right?

For some time, I wanted to believe this. It was so scary being in a world without my sibling. Hes the one that protected me from those that hurt us, and with him gone, I'd be vulnerable. For many months, I'd have the same dream, night after night...

They show up in your dreams, telling you that they're alright. They're not dead! It was just a lie someone made up. You feel their warm embrace. And then, you wake up. For a second, you still believe that its true--They really didn't die. But, then... You lie there in bed for just a bit longer. You realize the truth. You realize you have to live through today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next decade, and next century without them from now on. You get up.

For Flowey's case, he never fully made peace with Chara's passing until Frisk comes along. He needed someone to pull him out of the constant trauma he was inflicting upon himself (his power to reset) and ... a bit of kindness and patience... to finally move forward. To finally get to live life again, day by day.

Before Frisk, however, all he had was himself. With his best friend seemingly not coming back, and his family unable to help him ...

He simply can't continue. If it wasn't for the fact that he came back to life by being combined with concentrations of Determination, the grief he felt upon being left behind would've caused him to be gone again for good. It makes so much sense to me that his parents couldn't help him in this state. They don't understand how different the grief of losing a sibling is from losing a child. Both hurt deeply and last a lifetime, but the loss of a sibling is a loss of someone who you've known your whole life. its the loss of someone who was growing up with you.

So, of course, since he found out he can't die AND that he can reset the timeline whenever he wants to... He decided to start playing god to cope. He can't have his body, soul, or best friend, so... this is his compromise for some sort of control. As the years DONT go by, and he continues to reset the timeline for the fun of it, he only continues to get worse... And theres no one there to help him. Of course someone does come around to finally help him, but its been so many years already. It's horrible he had to wait so long to finally move on and live again.

Cuz of this, I like to think frisk remains his friend and he starts to find himself again after everything that happened. He needs gentle people in his life to let him heal however he needs to. And, I feel out of everyone, he could only ever talk about the trauma he went through to frisk... No one else would understand. Like literally. they'd go "What the fuck are you Talking about". except maybe sans. But it wouldn't be a good idea to open up to sans about that kind of trauma 9_9;

Frisk may not be able to fully understand (If we are going off the premise that Chara is aware of all the Resets and Not Frisk) but Flowey doesn't need someone to fully understand...just someone to talk to and have a shoulder to lean on.

Okay I'm done speaking my stuff heres art I made last September with a cool background I drew up recently on it:

This drawing is rather personal to me because this drawings actually a memory I have of me and my brother in the last years we shared where we Didn't have to worry about us being hurt anymore. We were playing each others favorite games at the time.

I decided to post this on this day because:

A. April 10th is National Siblings Day!

B. the day after today, April 11th, is the day my brother died. Once a year, I like to do something cathartic for myself. Whether I'm just getting bottled up feelings out of me or I'm letting myself understand where I am with my grief, I like to always try and do something like this to remember my brother. Hes the only one that could understand what I went through and how hard it was to get here.

C. In general, I feel its important to post this because I know personally how hard it is to write about things like this. There have been many times where I've tried writing or drawing about my PTSD and, even though I didn't even write the first word or draw the first line, All of my days energy would get zapped out of my system just thinking about it. Its been long enough now that I can write as much as this post and still feel okay! So if anyone out there reading this is in the same boat, just know that healing truly does take time. Sometimes it also takes a certain person, or a certain phrase. Be patient, take care of yourself, and appreciate the ones around you while theyre still here.

Sticking this here because I didn't have any reason to include this in the main post But the 9 year anniversary letter Asriel wrote about Chara really messed me up </3 for many reasons, but also because my brothers favorite number is also 9... ❤️🤝🌼

#ptsd #sibling death #daily flowey #2024 #2025 #if you followed my main before this account was up This is what I meant when I said me and flowey would be besties #flowey #asriel #chara #frisk

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sightseertrespasser · 4 days ago

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i think my favorite part is kind of just how it.... unfolds? it feels so natural. little bits and pieces accumulating into misunderstandings and understandings. people talking to eachother, just about whatever happens to come up. it very rarely to never feels like exposition, just a part of the world, and they are in it. the character interactions all feel in character and authentic, the way things have changed in this AU make so much sense, and all the little touches that add up together for the perfect blend of culture shock and misunderstanding. i LOVE crossover, outsider POV, isekai/transmigration, any kind of "this is not how its supposed to be, what is going on?" type stories but most fail to really properly draw out the premise. things are revealed too soon, or it feels too hamfisted how quickly or how long it takes, the flow isnt natural. the story either closes its eyes to drag it out, or skips over the shock entirely. this does neither. prowl has NO reference for jazz, and jazz has no reference for cybertronians. he is incredibly stressed, physically and mentally, and now that its come in the reality is terrifying and unsustainable, and he has to hope, he has to HOPE that this outwardly cold and calculating person he has just met will care enough, not just to keep him alive but keep him living. prowl will now have to deal with holding jazz life in his hands in a way so much different and yet so much more intimate than almost anyone else he has ever handled, and it will be work, constant, unending work.

i end up in a rereading rabbit hole because i think about the scene before that led to this scene, and the scene before, and the scene before, and each one is so satisfying alone but i go :DDD thinking about how we got there.

honestly, i know odds of survival cant continue forever, but damn if i dont wish it could

Man, that’s all just amazing to me. I’m so happy you like all the little hints and build up that goes into the big moments because that’s some of my favorite stuff to do.

Usually when I write, I’ll have the elements involved in the Big Moment already in mind and then work backwards to seed the clues throughout the lead up to have a greater payoff.

For one mini example, Prowl grumbling about his therapist which helped lay the groundwork for Rungs appearance in the story.

Additionally, it’s really, really fun looking at situations from different perspectives depending on the character and working out what they would and wouldn’t think of. For another example, Prowl is very quick to think that Jazz could be crashing, because he frequently experiences crashes.

Similarly, writing misunderstandings is a ton of fun when there’s legitimate reasons for two characters to have wildly different perspectives on something. There’s a saying that goes “you’re characters don’t know what genre they’re in.” And I want to write characters that are genuinely acting intelligently with the information they have available.

(Which is also why I had to give Jazz a concussion because otherwise he probably would’ve been waaay less complacent about a practical stranger leading him into unknown locations.”)

Jazz and Prowl dancing around their misunderstanding of each other was pretty difficult, as I personally hold that Prowl can solve any puzzle given enough time and that Jazz can make his own solution to any puzzle given enough time.

They’re both smart as hell, so as the writer I basically had to narratively trap them like rats in a maze to get the confrontation I wanted at the right moment.

Fun times and I’m glad it paid off!

#asks #odds of survival will end but assuming I maintain the time and motivation. I kinda want to write all the way through #to the ending of the Mecha universe #the plot points have already been made. I just gotta string them together #Bonus bit: Like half the reason Jazz went out on a limb to trust Prowl was because #Rung basically told him Prowl was down bad for him #and Jazz decided to test how bad #tf mecha universe

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tammyu2 · 7 months ago

Text

Hey guys it been a while but I’m back with some ninjago content wooo!!

Dating the ninjas include:

Lloyd

I think you guys would be a enemies to lovers. He was cautious of you at first until he started warming up to you then he became your bestie.

When he realised he like you my boy was shyyyy. But he kept it in the inside and pretended to be more tuff for you. But sometimes he would get distracted and completely lose his tuff boy persona. Things like little touches here and there. Such as you both grazed hands or you fall and he catches you.

Buddy is blushinggg- Of course he doesn’t tell the rest of the ninja but he does drop hints here and there for advice.

“Hey Im asking for a friend- how do you flirt with a girl you kinda sorta like?”

The team is sus and deffo teases him on it a lot. So every but you know.

Once you two tie the not he is clingy. Cause his parents never hugged him enough (wow that was fowl of me-)

He always touches you in some way. Like either your holding hands, his arm is around you, etc.

He will only fully trust you with his deep past (if you don’t know it by then) later on in the relationship in fear that you will leave him.

When you don’t?- man had to restrain himself from both crying and proposing then and there.

Over all he is clingy and need affirmation that you love him cause of his extreme trust issues🫶

Cole

I feel like he is the type to not stress to much over crushing on you but at the same time. If anything goes wrong then it’s the end of the world.

The type to be like “Psh it’s not that hard. Your just having a normal conversation with your crush.” But when it happens he is all like “AHH I HOPE MY BREATH DONT STINK. DID I PUT ON MY SPECIAL COLON ON TODAY??”

He confesses to you with a burnt cupcake. He tried his best okay?? Leave the poor guy alone >:|

When you guys date he is definitely more layed back and comfortable around you. He trusts you more and you know he likes you so there’s no need to worry.

He honestly seems like that classic jockey bf minus the masoginistic mindest. He is actually a heavy feminist I believe.

But he is supper proud to show you off. Every chance he gets he talks about you. Man is not afraid to show off his amazingly beautiful partner.

Lou loves you. He actually books you and Cole private seat tickets whenever he has a show and you guys are in town for it.

Overall he is a loving chilled back man that is just so inlove with you.

Zane

He is an nindroid and naturally he always knows what’s wrong with him. But for some reason whenever he us around you his circuits combust. He had an idea of what he had but how could a android such as himself possibly have.. fallen in love with you?

It takes him a while to actually understand the full extent on his feelings towards you bc you are his first. But once he does he really doesn’t change his demeanour around you. It’s not like it changes anything it’s just a subconscious thing that he knows he likes you.

He will give you little gifts tho. And always help you out with anything that involves artificial intelligence.

When you two confessed he kissed you out of nowhere leaving you a flustered mess. It went down like this:

“What the?? Zane!! You can’t kiss someone out of nowhere! You caught me off guard..”

“But is it not true that I like you and you like me so that makes us a couple? And don’t couples kiss?”

“Yes but no. I’m gonna need to sit down and explain to you how timing works aren’t I?-“

After a bit he learned more about relationships and such. He still is lost here and there but he has the hang of it down. He is quite similar to Cole and is not very concerned about your relationship. Not that he doesn’t love you. It’s just a casual thing for him.

He makes a date for you two to try your best at hard or homey recipes to test both his cooking skills but also your knowledge on food as a whole. It’s a nice bonding thing you two do.

But over all he is a non chalant protective boyfriend that is just a little confused but has the spirit anyway!

Jay

When he starts liking you it’s obvious to everyone including you. He stutters and always blurts out complements not realising you hear them. He is always nervous and sweaty and he fidgets with his hands and is a complete mess for you.

He is a blabber mouth whenever he has the chance to bring you up. And he always sighs dreamily after as if he was a Disney princess or smth.

When you two confess he was loosing it. Like man was ready to pull out his hairs from nervousness. Luckily thanks to you he was much more calmed down after.

When you two date he is at your service at you command. Anything and everything if it’s possible he will give to you if you simply ask him. He will go out his way to show you how special you are to him and how much he loves you.

If you thought lloyd was clingy? He is NEXT LEVEL! Man is literally a koala. Unless on missions he will spontaneously combust without being with you.

His parents absolutely adore you. They love you so much you may as well have been their own daughter. They always ask Jay to bring you around for lunch or something just to see you again.

Over all He is a lovey dovey boyfriend who absolutely is yours till the rest do time even if god truck him down. So he’s a huge simp.

Sorry guys I’m rlly tired I will do Nya and Kai another day. Tata! Hope you guys stay healthy and stay safe!

~Tammy<3

#ninjago fanfiction #cole x reader ninjago #jay x reader ninjago #ninjago #zane x reader ninjago #lloyd x reader #lloyd garmadon x reader #lloyd garmadon #zane julien #cole brookstone #jay walker #x reader #x you #hcs #head cannons #ninjago headcanons #ninagoxreader

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barblaz-arts · 1 year ago

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I think people have been accustomed to couples being in that honeymoon phase when they’re shown onscreen together. We ALWAYS see that with newly-established couples in pretty much any type of media… But that’s not Chaggie.

Charlie and Vaggie have been together for years. Their honeymoon phase has long past. They’re not doing outlandish displays of affection. They’re just, comfortable. Doesn’t mean they love each other any less, just that those sappy moments aren’t as common anymore

Yes! also the way a lot of people are surprised that charlie and vaggie aren't only best friends is such a good example of the double standards wlw ships get. thinking they aren't dating is understandable. Overlooking that Vaggie and Charlie were meant to at least be shipped together is INSANE.

If i never knew they were dating already, i and so many other sapphic ship lovers would be eyeing tf out of Vaggie and Charlie's relationship. Lookit some of the things that happened/are established before the "she's my girlfriend" line in ep 5

- the newcaster lady made a homophobic comment towards Charlie, saying she "doesn't touch the gays" when Charlie tried to give her a handshake

- THIS

- just all the times Vaggie would soften up as soon as she sees Charlie smiling or being her dorky self despite being previously upset/angry

- Vaggie's whole friggin verse in Whatever It Takes is very obviously meant to be romantic

- Charlie being worried about Angel Dust while Vaggie gives her the most "i love you and im sad that you're upset but i love that you're upset over something like this because it shows how amazing of a person you are" look at Charlie as she tucks her hair behind her ear

- Angel: I think this belongs to you *hands Charlie over to Vaggie*

- just all the casual touches they do that would totally be read as shipping fuel AT LEAST if it happened between a male/female duo or two men

- the fact Vaggie woke up?? Looking beside her to find Charlie?? To show that they sleep in the same bed?????

- Vaggie offering her hand unprompted when Charlie was having a stressful phone call with her dad and Charlie readily accepting it

And I'm sure there are people who'd go "But it's always shown from Vaggie's end! It looks so one-sided!" So? Aren't there tons of ships out there that seem one-sided but yall are perfectly fine shipping? And it's harder to see Charlie's love for Vaggie because Charlie at her core is a very loving and affectionate person. Of course it's gonna be more obvious for Vaggie since she's so prickly towards anyone else.

If all these things still happened without any of us knowing that they were actually girlfriends, we'd have a certain section of the fandom shipping it hoping they DO become canon while others would be claiming we'd be ruining a perfectly good platonic friendship by making it gay. They'd say we're reading too much into things.

But they ARE a couple. we aren't reading too much into things because it was meant to be read as romantic. And yet we're still the delusional ones for thinking an already established sapphic couple is "cute and interesting" because now they're claiming they simply dont have chemistry. It's frustrating.

Of course I have my criticisms too. The show could portray more of how Vaggie is more special to Charlie than anyone else, have them flirting more overtly or something. But any argument that they're "so boring i thought it was het" is invalid to me because i damn well know if at least one them was a dude a lot of them would be saying otherwise.

#asks #sorry you probably didn't want me ranting #but i am sick and tired of the 'theyre boring and have no chemistry' argument #they're just saying that because they can't say the 'theyre just best friends' line any more

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justarkive · 2 months ago

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TABLE 3 | JJK ch11

“For good service, and cute waitresses.”

pairing: pre!military jk x waitress/secret fuckbuddy!oc

warnings: profanity, angst, humour, fluff, celebrity au, idol!jungkook , mentions of other kpop groups/idols, inner conflict, insecurity. jungkooks enlistment, its EATING him up. oc is so oblivious. nari as usual, jungkook overworking himself, boring chapter ngl.

wc: short

this fic is not meant to represent the real jungkook or any other characters mentioned!

taglist: @jenniebyrubies @dreamersparacosm @darklove2020 @rayyrayy10 @elinaki92 @alana4610

a/n: u guys dont understand how much i was stressing abt this chapter like, i had no idea what to write for them… like another date? should they fuck again? but i figured this was good so we can get closer to his enlistment without dragging it out too long. so sorry freaks theres no smut today!! and its pretty boring so apologies :( as always thank u for reading my loves. also, a recent comment i had to bring to attention was how it looks like theres a lack of attraction on jungkooks side (in reality there isnt, that man is WHIPPED) : pls note this is completely intentional and youll find out why in this chapter!!

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You realize you can’t spend every day with Jeon Jungkook.

The thought is jarring, unsettling in a way that makes your stomach twist as you count the tip money at the register. It’s not that you thought you could, realistically speaking. You have a life—one that doesn’t revolve around whispered “good mornings” and teasing kisses over breakfast, or the way his fingers always seem to find yours in the quiet moments.

But the past two days have been… intoxicating. Like stepping into some kind of alternate reality, one where time bends in your favor, where you can exist in a warm, golden haze of laughter and lingering glances and the subtle press of his body against yours when he thinks you’re not paying attention.

And now, you’re here. Back to fluorescent lights humming above you, the faint scent of coffee and grease mixing in the air, and—

“Oh hell no, bitch, I’m gonna kill someone. Who the fuck—”

Nari’s voice cuts through your thoughts, sharp and irritated, as she holds up a napkin between her fingers like it personally offended her.

You glance over, noting the scrawled handwriting in what looks like smudged eyeliner, and sigh. “Another one?”

“The fifth one today,” she deadpans, before squinting at the message. “‘I like my girls like my coffee, hot and steamy. Call me?’” She blinks. “Oh, gross.”

You can’t help but snort, shaking your head as you swipe the napkin from her hands and toss it straight into the trash. “At least they’re tipping.”

“At what cost?” Nari groans, slumping dramatically against the counter.

And just like that, reality anchors you again. The warmth of Jungkook’s presence, the way he had become so seamlessly woven into your daily routine, feels like something distant. Because this is your life—bantering with Nari over questionable customers, counting tip money, working double shifts until your feet ache. And you realise how much you miss it.

You can’t spend every day with Jeon Jungkook, but speaking of. He hasn’t stopped texting you details about his concert.

At first, you said yes without hesitation. The words slip out so easily, like second nature. “Yeah, of course, I’ll come.” How could you not? It’s Jungkook. It’s his concert. It’s something important to him, and the way he had looked at you—eyes wide, hopeful, waiting—had made it impossible to say anything else, but there was also something strange about how he’d asked you, how he blurted it out so suddenly.

But now, in the unforgiving clarity of daylight, when your phone pings with a message from him about the details, the hesitation creeps in.

You hadn’t even thought about the price.

It’s stupid, really. You don’t need to go, and yet, now that you’ve said yes, the idea of backing out makes your chest tighten uncomfortably. The tickets alone are expensive. Very expensive. The kind of expensive that makes your stomach churn, that has you mentally calculating how many shifts you’d need to cover the cost. And that’s not even considering the logistics—the sheer chaos of being in a packed stadium, the fact that you’d be one person in a crowd of thousands, that you’d have to navigate the whole thing alone.

Well, not alone. You made sure to demand one condition: Nari has to come with you.

Jungkook had said yes without hesitation. But even with that reassurance, you find yourself hesitating with every new text he sends. You keep your responses brief, not enough to raise suspicion but just enough to stall.

It doesn’t work.

Jungkook [11:24 AM]: u okay? you seem off.

You [11:25 AM]: just tired

Jungkook [11:25 AM]: You sure?

You [11:26 AM]: promise

The dots appear, vanish, reappear.

You stare at your screen, willing him to let it go.

He doesn’t.

Jungkook [11:28 AM]: You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, you know.

Your heart lurches a little. That’s not it. You do want to go. But what do you say? Hey, I know I agreed to this, but I can’t really justify spending that much money on a ticket, and also, I don’t really know how to do things like this, and it’s kind of overwhelming to think about?

Before you can even figure out how to respond, another text comes in.

Jungkook [11:29 AM]: If it’s about the ticket, don’t even think about it. I got you.

You blink.

You [11:30 AM]: What?

Jungkook [11:31 AM]: Backstage pass. Special entry. No crowd, no stress. Just you and Nari.

Your mouth goes dry.

He clocked you immediately. Of course, he did. You should’ve known. Jungkook is a lot of things, but oblivious isn’t one of them. He caught on to your hesitance faster than you could even process it yourself, and before you could spiral too deep, he’d already fixed the problem.

Just you and Nari.

The tension in your shoulders eases—just a little. Because the money was one thing, but the thought of pushing through a crowd of thousands had been gnawing at you more than you wanted to admit. But this? This is something you can do.

You [11:33 AM]: You didn’t have to do that.

Jungkook [11:33 AM]: Yeah, I did.

You bite back a smile.

You [11:34 AM]: …Okay. Thank you.

Jungkook [11:34 AM]: Don’t mention it.

A pause. Then:

Jungkook [11:35 AM]: Actually, do mention it. Like a lot. Maybe call me the best person ever or something.

You roll your eyes, typing out a quick absolutely not before locking your phone and exhaling.

Crisis averted.

For now.

——

The bus ride home is slow, the kind of slow that makes you regret not just walking. The city hums around you, neon lights flickering past the windows, the occasional car horn breaking through the low murmur of conversations. You’re exhausted, the long shift weighing down your limbs, and the warmth of the bus isn’t helping.

You lean your head back against the window, sighing. And then, as if on cue, your phone buzzes.

Jungkook: did you eat yet?

You stare at the message for a second, lips pressing together.

You haven’t. But that’s not the point.

You ignore the way your stomach flutters—you’re not dating, you’re not dating, you’re not dating—and type out a quick, Yeah, just got home. It’s a lie, but a small one.

The bus slows at a stoplight. You tap your fingers against your thigh, suddenly remembering something. Something you’d forgotten during work today.

The concert. Oh. Oh, shit.

You blink, processing. The concert is in five days.

You were supposed to be thinking about that. Planning for it. Maybe even, you know, acknowledging it. But somehow, between work and everything else, it completely slipped your mind.

You don’t know why you suddenly feel nervous. It’s just a concert. And it’s not like Jungkook didn’t make sure you’d be safe—backstage passes, seats away from the crowd. He handled everything.

But still.

You bite your lip, debating, and then press call.

Nari picks up on the third ring. “Why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be busy thinking about a certain superstar?”

You roll your eyes. “I have a question.”

“Go on.”

You hesitate. “…Are you free in five days?”

There’s a pause. Then, suspiciously, “Why?”

You shift in your seat, staring out the window. “Because I may or may not have forgotten that Jungkook’s concert is in five days, and I want you to come with me.”

Silence.

Then—

“BITCH.”

You wince, holding the phone away from your ear as Nari screeches. The few people around you on the bus glance over, and you lower your head, trying to pretend you’re not part of this conversation.

“FIVE DAYS?” she yells. “YOU’RE TELLING ME THIS NOW? DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I NEED TO PICK AN OUTFIT? AT LEAST TEN DAYS. MINIMUM.”

You blink. “That’s…longer than you actually have.”

“EXACTLY.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “So, is that a yes?”

Nari exhales like she’s carrying the weight of the world. “Obviously, yes. But I’m mad about it.”

“You’ll live.”

“No, I won’t.”

You stifle a laugh. “We also have backstage passes, by the way.”

Silence.

“…Come again?”

“Backstage passes. Jungkook got them for us.”

There’s another pause. Then, a deadly serious, “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do. Because what I’m hearing is that you have exclusive access to one of the biggest concerts of the year, and you FORGOT?”

“…Yeah?”

“I need you to know that I’m never letting you live this down.”

“That’s fair.”

The bus slows, your stop approaching. You shift forward in your seat, grabbing your bag. “We have to book the day off.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Nari mutters. “And you’re especially lucky that I will never pass up the opportunity to stand within ten feet of Kim Namjoon.”

You snort. “It’s a solo concert Nari.“

“Let a girl dream.”

You hang up with a smile, stepping off the bus and into the cool night air.

It’s only after you get home, slipping off your shoes and setting your phone down, that you notice another text from Jungkook.

Jungkook: Liar. You’re still on the bus.

You freeze.

And then—

Jungkook: Caught you through the reflection, didn’t I?

You groan, flopping onto the couch.

You really, really need to stop underestimating him.

——

The floor against Jungkook’s back is cold. Too cold. It seeps through his damp shirt, cutting through the heat of his skin like ice, but he barely registers it. His chest rises and falls in quick, shallow breaths, sweat slicking his temples, his neck, his arms.

“Again,” he mutters, more to himself than anyone else, but the choreographer hesitates.

“Jungkook, you’re overdoing it.”

He hears it, but he doesn’t acknowledge it. Instead, he pushes himself up, rolling his shoulders back. The mirrors in the practice room reflect him mercilessly—messy hair, the sharp set of his jaw, the frustration tightening his muscles like a coiled spring.

Frustration at himself. At you. At the fact that when he told you about the concert, he was supposed to say something else entirely. I’m leaving for the military soon. That was what was meant to come out. Instead, it had been Come to my concert.

And you’d said yes. Just like that. No hesitation. But then came the shift—those tiny pauses in your texts, the slight hesitance in your words when he brought it up again. You weren’t saying why, but Jungkook knew.

The price.

He’d seen it immediately. The way you didn’t want to say it outright, the way you tried to brush it off. He hated that. Hated that you even thought you had to hesitate over something like this. Because if it was up to him, you wouldn’t have to worry about a damn thing.

That’s why he’d handled it. Special backstage tickets, no issues with the crowd, no stress—just you, there, like he wanted. Like he needed.

So why does it still feel like he’s done something wrong?

“Jungkook,” his manager’s voice cuts through the silence. “That’s enough for today.”

Jungkook exhales through his nose, pressing his tongue into his cheek. “One more run.”

“You’re already ahead of schedule. And you’re distracted.”

He bristles. “I’m not.”

“You are.” His manager crosses his arms, looking at him through the mirror. “And I don’t need you injuring yourself because your head’s somewhere else.”

Jungkook stays silent, flexing his fingers at his sides.

His manager sighs, voice lowering. “Look. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I do know you’ve been pushing yourself too hard. I also know that whatever’s eating at you isn’t just about the tour.”

Jungkook’s jaw tightens.

“I get it,” his manager continues. “You’re stressed. But you’re making it worse for yourself. Just… chill. Whatever this is, let it go for tonight.”

Let it go?

Jungkook almost laughs.

If it were that easy, he wouldn’t be here right now, forcing himself through routine after routine, trying to physically burn you out of his system. Trying to drown out the sound of your voice in his head. Trying to silence the part of himself that knows—knows—he’s in too deep.

Because at first? This wasn’t supposed to be like this.

He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself for even letting things get this far. What did he expect? That it would be easy to switch off the emotions, to walk away without feeling something? He wants to push away the growing awareness that maybe, just maybe, you’re more than just another distraction.

But now he’s stuck. There’s a reason he hasn’t told you everything. It’s easier to keep you in this safe, manageable space—where things are light and easy, where you don’t need to know about the chaos that’s coming. About how soon he’ll be gone. About the reality that his time is limited, and yet, for some reason, it feels like you’re already becoming more important than he can afford to let you be.

He was wrong. And that realization stings more than he expected.

And now? He’s stuck somewhere between wanting to pull you closer and fearing he’s already too much. That he’s already crossing lines.

“One more,” he says again, voice firm.

His manager exhales sharply through his nose, but he doesn’t argue this time. “Fine. One more. Then you’re done.”

Jungkook doesn’t waste another second.

He throws himself into it, movements sharp, precise, but there’s a new edge to them now. Something more aggressive, more punishing. His muscles scream at him, but he keeps going, pushing harder, faster. He doesn’t just perform—he fights. Every stomp of his foot, every swing of his arm feels like he’s battling something invisible.

Himself.

His own damn emotions.

He dances like he’s trying to outrun them. Like if he moves fast enough, hard enough, maybe he can lose them in the chaos. Maybe he can forget, just for a moment, that you’ve completely consumed him.

But by the time the music stops, by the time he’s standing there, breathless and burning, he knows—

It’s useless.

“I get it,” his manager continues. “You’re stressed. But you’re making it worse for yourself. Go home. Rest.”

Jungkook doesn’t respond right away, but the weight of the words settles in his chest. He swipes his water bottle from the floor, chugging a few mouthfuls before slinging his bag over his shoulder. His body aches, every muscle screaming in protest, but none of it is enough to quiet his mind.

He checks his phone the second he steps outside.

No new messages.

The urge to text you is immediate—something teasing, something easy, just to make sure you’re still there, still thinking about him, too. But he hesitates. You’d already been weird today, your replies shorter, slower, like you were pulling away.

Like you were trying not to need him.

The thought unsettles him more than it should.

Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. The thing is, he doesn’t know what to do with this. With you. You’re different. A breath of fresh air in a world that’s constantly moving too fast. He likes you. Too much, probably. And that should be a good thing, should be easy—but it’s not.

Because he doesn’t know how to ask for more.

He’s spent his entire career learning how to hold back. How to be careful, how to measure every interaction, every word. But with you, he doesn’t want to be careful. He wants to be selfish. Wants to see you whenever he wants, touch you whenever he wants, kiss you just because he feels like it.

And that’s dangerous.

His fingers hover over your contact for a second before he shoves his phone back into his pocket, shaking his head at himself.

He just has to be patient. That’s all.

If he’s lucky, you’ll realize soon enough.

That you’re already his.

Until he has to go.

By the time he steps outside, the air is thick with the remnants of rain, the streets slick with reflections of neon lights. His phone vibrates in his pocket.

You: Get home safe

Simple. Casual. But Jungkook stares at it for longer than he should, fingers hovering over the keyboard before he finally types out a response.

Jungkook: you too.

He hesitates.

Then, before he can overthink it, he adds—

Jungkook: And don’t lie to me next time.

You: shut up 🙄

Jungkook doesn’t respond. Instead, he exhales slowly, tilting his head back, staring at the ceiling as if it’ll hold all the answers he doesn’t have. The military is looming over him like a shadow, growing closer, heavier. And now there’s you—this thing between you, whatever it is—pressing against his ribs like a weight he can’t shake.

But for now, he just ignores it.

Because in 5 days, it’ll finally be 3 weeks exactly till he’s gone.

The unease follows him, clinging to his skin like sweat.

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stardustedseas · 2 months ago

Text

anyways

jayce x dog hybrid reader

nsfw +18

cw: human x hybrid, dub con (reader is in heat and doesn't fully understand what's going on, jayce is hesitate to engage because he knows this but they do both want eachother), implied 3some at the end, barely edited- i mostly just copy pasted my rambled from my dms to here

viktor giving jayce a key to his apt so he can feed and walk you when vik cant, youre a little unsure about this new big man coming into your home but viktor likes him, he always brings treats and his big warm hands always give the best belly rubs too so he must be okay :) viktor ends up spending more and more time at the lab working on a big breakthrough in hextech and hasnt been able to get home to you as often but doesn't want you at the lab much because it can be very dangerous, so hes been sending jayce to take care of you more since its easier for him to run over and back rq

(rubbing hands together like an evil fly) while you do miss your owner and you dont fully understand why he cant come home as much right now, you enjoy when jayce visits, hes so kind and fun! he isnt as afraid to rough house play with you he and always indulges you with treat, over all, things have been pretty okay. that is untill you start to feel weird and pent up, all of your clothes feel bad agaisnt your skin and you cant stand to have them on, taking to just wander around naked. you also feel more emotional and the hours of viktor being away turn from sucky but tollerable to you sobbing every morning when he leaves and almost tearing the apt up in a panic if he doest come home at night. you also dont know why but your tummy always feels weird and like your skin is on fire too.

still, you dont want to tell your owner, he always seems so stressed and tired :( you dont want him to get more stressed because of you :( so you do your best to act normal when hes home or jayce is there. this works for about a week before either of them notice too. it's when jayce comes over to give you lunch and your afternoon walk that he can tell something is wrong, usually you come bounding up to the door all excited and whine until he gives you belly rubs and a new treat he brings for you to try but now you're no where to be seen. you dont even come when he calls for you, he ofc gets worried and goes looking, it really isnt like you to not listen or greet him. he finds you all bundled up on viktor bed, wrapped in his blanket with what looks like his entire closet surrounding you. he can't really tell whats going on but he can hear you whimpering and see a lump under the covers wriggling around.

he calls out to you again but you just freeze, when he tries to pull the blanket back you just pull it tighter around yourself and whine for him to go away. something is very obviously wrong so he sits on the edge of the bed and lightly pets you over the covers, he gets even more worried at the strangled, almost hurt sound you let out so he decides that if youre injured, he cant just wait until you come out on your own, so he froces the blanket off you. instead of a bunch of blood like he was worried hed find, its you butt naked, curled around a pillow with your arms clinging to one end and the other squished between your thighs. he would have laughed at how your hair and fur was sticking up all over the place but the tears on your cheeks and the amount of sweat covering your shakey body were far more concerning.

before he can ask you whats wrong or even really process what hes seeing, you are jumping up to crawl into his lap and cling to him instead, sobbing about how you feel so weird and hot and your privates ache so bad and you miss viktor so much. you had started to unconsciously grind against the leg you were stradling, soaking his probably very expensive pants, but had just cried harder when he gently pried you off, so he agreed to give you your beloved belly rubs if you agreed to lay back down. he was struggling to think straight with the way you were desperately humping him and crying into his neck but this didnt help at all, seeing you layed out bare and needy infront of him, moaning so obscenely just from him petting your soft belly, really backfired on him lmfao its even worse when you start bucking your hips up and wiggling around (he can more clearly see the wet sheen of slick coating your mound and inside of your thighs) and try to push his hand lower, telling him it hurts and you want him to pet you down there.

you just know that those big strong hands could make you feel better :( it feels so good when he pets your head or tummy, the rough callouses contrasting how gently he touches you. jayce is a very strong willed man who does not give in easily, his morals always holding fast, but he is also n o t immune to the way your cute fluffy ears lay flat and you look up at him with the biggest, most pathetic puppy dog eyes hes ever seen in his life while begging for him to please not go, please dont leave you alone and in pain. god he really should go call viktor, tell him whats going on and absolutely not give in to your pleading- youre in heat for fucks sake and desperate and not thinking clearly and youre not even his dog hes just helping out his bestie and- whatever resolve he had went out the window when you were able to yank his hand down between your thighs and sloppily push it against you, desperately moving his hand as if trying to make him pet you.

he cant help but give in, he swears he will just get you off once then call viktor, just so you arent in as much pain. hes supposed to be taking care of you after all, what kind of friend would he be if he left you to suffer... unfortunately for his conscious, that does not work out because the second he sinks one of his thick fingers into your poor puppy cunt and sees(and Feels) the way you almost instantly cum with the prettiest moan of his name, he had absolutely no chance of being able to leave now. not when hes felt how tight and warm and wet you are. god he bets you taste as good as you look too,,,,

anyways like i said im bad at the actual smut part but he ends up fingering and eating you out a couple times before he is once again worn down even more by the way you roll onto your stomach and arch your hips up, burring your nose into one of viktors dirty shirts. youre not fully sure what youre begging for but all you know is hes making you feel so so good and being in this position just feels right, like this is all you were made for. by this point poor jayce is so turned on he couldn't possibly have left now so he once again gives in and kneels behind you, leaning over so his broad chest is layed across your back, pressing your almost limp body down more into the matress while he reaches around for your still throbbing pussy. he swears he was just gonna get you off on his fingers one more time in a position that felt more natural for you, THEN he was gonna call viktor,,,,,, but its not even five minutes later before he is carefully pushing the fat tip of his cock in, trying not to hurt you. he may not be able to knot or breed you like you need, but hopefully his cum filling you up can help :3

viktor gets worried after jayce is gone longer than usual and ends up going home as well, hes already further ahead in his experiment than expected so he can take an early break, he has been away from his beloved pet an awful lot and he misses you so much :( the last thing he was expecting to see when he got back was jayce fucking his puppy into his bed surrounded by all his clothes lmfao cough not that hes too upset tho, just disappointed he missed out on half the fun before showing up. its okay tho, you are far from satiated and as amazing as jayce feels, you still miss your masters cock :3

~~~~~~~~~~~~☆

im so sorry

#jayce talis x reader #arcane smut #if it helps i feel much shame posting this #ant with bindle

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midnight--sadness · 4 months ago

Note

do u have hcs for pregnant gi-hun? or just in general the 457 dynamic while gi-hun is knocked up

yes, i do bc i think abt pregnant gihun more than i think abt my own grandma

i feel like my very first hc is that i think they're having twins!

gihun is the type of pregnant person who glows. his skin is smoother, his hair is shinier, his cheeks are flushed, he gains weight in all of the right places (cough ass tits thighs cough), he has virtually no stretch marks. its like he was made to be pregnant.

while his physical appearance improves, i think gihun would be an emotional wreck. he is already prone to outbursts and i think pregnancy would worsen it. he once stopped talking to inho for two days bc inho had to stay at work until late at night and didnt eat at home.

he talks to the babies all the time, non stop, even when he is only a few weeks along and not showing.

his weird pregnancy craving is a piece of white bread stuffed with apple jam and a shrimp dumpling. inho gags when he first makes it and tries to get gihun to eat something else but gihun loves it so much that inho ends up making it for him when gihun wakes it with a craving.

gihun is super relaxed bc he has been through this once with gayeong but inho is a stressed, protective mess. he barely lets gihun out of his sight, insists on going to every doctor's appointment and asks them to run every test and exam possible because he couldnt bear it if gihun got sick like his wife and he and the babies died again.

inho would decorate the nursery with soft pastels (pink, green, yellow, purple) and buy all kinds of toys to improve the babies' development.

on that note, he would read a million parentings books. gihun on the other hand is more of an "instinctual" person, convinced that he'll know what to do when he gets there.

the first person inho tells is junho because there are some concerns he doesnt feel good talking about to gihun. he confides in his brother his fears and junho assures him that everything will be fine and nothing will happen to gihun or the babies.

the first person gihun tells is inho of course. he cant keep a secret to save his life and he knows inho will be excited. when inho's reaction is to immediately be worried, he is a bit disappointed but he understands.

the good thing of having two babies is that gihun and inho dont have to fight over names and each pick one they like.

gihun LOVES using the pregnancy as an excuse for anything - he wants to sit on the couch watching trash tv all day? he wants to eat half the things on the dinner table? he wants to watch a sad movie despite knowing that he'll cry for an hour straight after it is over? he wants inho to skip work so they can cuddle in bed? well the babies want all of those things 🥰

what hcs do you guys have???

#the food one is inspired by my mama bc when she was pregnant with my sister #she ate sandwhichs with quince fruit jam (marmelada) and a deep friend shrimp turnover (rissol de camarao) inside it #i had to translate marmelo and rissol into english so it might be wrong #take it with a grain of salt #yapping 4ever #asks #457 #inhun #ginho #seong gi-hun #hwang in-ho #squid game #there are def more but im forgetting and this is already long enough #mpreg

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coolprettyleo · 1 year ago

Text

we can't be friends (wait for your love) - luke hughes

luke hughes x reader

wc: 1.5k

tw: angst. fluff. arguing. breakup. no happy ending. not really proofread, got tired lol

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

your life had been going good, a little too good. you should have knew all too well that the daydream you had been in weren't going to last much longer.

luke hughes. the man who had stolen your heart and gave you the best memories a boyfriend could give a girl like you. for someone who's thought themselves to be the biggest hopeless romantic, meeting luke had been the light in your life.

you had met the younger hughes brother at a frat party. he had been running off a high after a good game and his normally reserved nature had cracked due to the adrenaline from the win, it gave him the confidence to flirt with you.

initially, you had thought he was going to be a casual hookup. you were taught the hookup culture early into your freshman year, when you thought the frat guy you slept with at your first ever party the night before was going to give you the time of day, once the cloths came on.

news flash you learnt something that day. men are sluts.

so when the star hockey player started flirting with you, you had thought it to be just another guy who wanted a hookup. you ultimately decided to live out your fourteen year old selves Wattpad dream and entertain the cute curly haired boy.

you were surprised when you opened instagram the morning after to find he had requested you and from there on out, the rest was history.

it didn't take long for you guys to become the golden couple of the university. you attended his games wearing his jersey, met each others friends and families, and most importantly fell in love with one another's nature.

everything was going perfect for the two of you, until the real world decided it wanted to slap you both across the face. hard.

luke's passion was and will always be hockey. you knew that when you met him and ultimately decided to jump into a relationship with him. you loved every part about him, including hockey; it's what made him, him.

the sport didn't come between the two of you until he moved over six hundred miles away to play it.

you knew it was coming, you've both talked about it but unfortunately talking about it and actually saying goodbye is two very different things.

you loved the curly haired boy but you were beginning to wonder if it was all even worth it anymore. it was clear long distance was not working in your favor.

it had been almost a year since he started with the devils. a year since it all went to shit. a year since this 'rough patch' as luke liked to call it started. surely a rough patch couldn't last this long?

long distance usually makes a couple or it breaks them. it seemed to be breaking the two of you.

you rarely got to see your boyfriend due to the fact he's glued to the team during the season, so it was up to you, to fly out and see him.

you hated flying. so almost every time, your stress levels shot through the roof causing the worst headache known to man kind to come across you. automatically putting you in a sour mood when landing.

flashback

"i don't understand why you're being like this, this whole thing is planned around the fact that the team wants to meet you!" luke said exaspertly as he helped her load her bags in his jeep. he talked about you so much that when jack opened his mouth about you coming to visit, the wags were quick to plan a get-together, and you had just said you weren't up for it.

"i'm sorry luke but I feel like crap. i dont want to put up a character and meet new people right now"

"then don't put up a character, be yourself. that's who I fell in lov-" he said as you rolled your eyes, wincing; seeing as it didn't help the slamming feeling in your head.

"I don't want to Luke!" you cut him off. luke took a deep breath and texted jack to let them know you guy's wouldn't be making it.

looking back at it now; it wasn't that serious. but that headache couldn't make you think straight. that had been the first fight between the two of you. you're pretty sure thats when all his friend deemed you to be the villain and told him he deserved better.

you began to believe that and you knew luke did too. you just wanted this story to die, you knew you'd be alright.

luke on the other hand was clinging to every inch of you he could get; while you clinged to your papers and pens; writing about your misery.

you loved to write so of course you were going to pour your emotions into these stories. hoping the book would understand better then Luke ever could.

you two were laying in his bed, cloths sprawled out across his bedroom floor.

you had landed in jersey last night, ready to pretend and be the picture luke painted of you.

the two of you had the best night, it had been a while since you last seen him and an even longer while since you last seen him and everything felt... right.

you should of known a storm was brewing.

you were leaning your head onto his bare chest, legs tangled between each other as you played with his curls, looking up at him. he was growing into being the most handsome man.

"im so happy your here" he said tracing down your arms.

"me too. I missed your face" you said as you leaned up and kissed his jaw as he blushed. moments like these made you want throw away all the doubts you had about the relationship.

"me too. i can't wait to wake up next to you everyday" he said as your blood ran cold. you were tired of tiptoeing and hiding around the fight you knew was to come.

he'd been wanting you to move to jersey since he moved, the only problem being, is that you didn't want to.

"what's wrong" he said as you moved away his heart falling too his stomach.

"remember how I told you I wanted to graduate first?" you said nervously. he knew you were going to graduate early and the excuse of school was soon going to expire.

"yeah, thats pretty soon. we need to start looking for a place, by the way-"

"luke-" you started, wanting to stop it before it got any further.

"I think it'll do good for jack and I to get space" he said jokingly as he kept rambling,

"I know you've always wanted to live in manhattan, we can get a place there, i can commute-"

"im not coming here after graduation" you said with watery eyes.

you were the villain, at least in this story.

you wanted to experience life. you were only twenty one and the idea of that part of your life ending before you even got to begin it made you want to spiral.

"im sorry?" he said looking at you like you just killed his childhood dog. he would wait for your love a million years, if thats what it took.

"luke- im sorry, but I want to experience things. i want to live this life and know every corner of it-"

"i don't understand. why can't we those things together?"

"im sorry" you said standing up, not really sure what to do anymore.

"are we breaking up" he said with a straight face. you knew he was holding back tears.

"for now, yes" she told him as he put his head down.

you weren't heartless, so you took a seat next to him as you wrapped an arm around him.

"hey, look at me luke. this isn't the end, I'll still always care about you, I want to see you succeed hughsey" you told him as he remebered the night he met you and you called him that.

___

future

luke had been doing amazing; breaking records in the NHL and living life like anyone his age should be. his life was going good.

he obviously missed you but he soon learned he was going to be alright, even though a part of him waiting for your love. your love to like him again.

the smarter part of him knew better, the story was over.

he got home from a game that had went amazing for him and set his stuff down as he opened instagram.

the very first picture being, one of you and your new boyfriend. he knew you moved on and moved to nyc. he's actually ran into you before, both of you acting like you didnt break each others heart into a million peices. acting like old friends.

the reason the picture made his heart drop was due to the fact you were holding up a ring as you looked into the eyes of another. another who wasn't Luke Hughes.

he couldn't do it. he tried, he really did. he wanted to see you succeed and live like you wanted, he just couldn't bare to see it without him in it.

he clicked on her profile as he hovered over the unfollow button. he oh so desperately wanted to pretend to be this daydream but he was reminded of the fact their story had ended. he hit the button and knew he'd be alright.

we can't be friends (wait for your love)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

this was inspired by an edit I saw on tiktok, and obviously the song too lol. I can't find the edit but like yeah!

#nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey fic #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #new jersey devils #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes fic #jack hughes #hughes brothers #njd #jack hughes x reader

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wwefan2002 · 30 days ago

Text

healing rays

A/N: this going to be a long series and there will be sensitive topics like suicidal thoughts and self-harm as well as healing and hurt and comfort this is going to be a lot for some but i stress that this is a sign for everyone no matter what your going through you matter and I care dont be afraid to reach out on here if you are struggling with stuff im not doing the best but writing helps me get through it so sit back and enjoy the rollercoaster ride.

rhea x reader

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You came here to get away to escape the pain and suffering you just escaped from, you walk the beach everyday, waves crash against the shore the smell of salt and sunscreen permeates the air clinging to you like a sweet melody. You walk back to the house your mind wandering thinking of all the pain you have been through. You finally make it back to the house, walking inside you finally exhale all you had been holding in you thought walking on the beach would calm your mind but instead it made it worse. You walk into your bedroom the smell of vanilla hits your nose a calming smell as you finally lay your head down. You find yourself running in the dark screaming for help you run until you feel like you can't run anymore your legs give way and then you feel a pull on your legs your body slides along the ground skin scrapping the pavement. You look around looking for them as you a scream for help you feel the cold steel of the knife against your skin, you freeze as the cold steel slowly traces against your skin, crimson red blood flowing out like water you wince in pain as the figure finally reveals itself your brother shows his face. Getting close to your ear, "you didn't save me you never tried to help you don't understand the pain I feel so now you're going to feel it". You feel the knife on your throat, you try to plead with him but before anything comes out your throat gets slashed, and you finally snap awake screaming in a cold sweat. Every time you try to sleep you are met with your brothers face it's been 5 years since he finally lost the battle with himself, you always felt like you could have done more but truth is he never had a chance your parents were far from good and they always preferred you over him and to this day you feel guilty you were always proud of him but you knew he was always upset whenever your mom or dad always praised you over him. He always wanted their approval and never got it he had always been a good kid but he finally had enough. You were the first one to find him laying face down pills in one hand and a picture of you and him in the other, he always loved you and he never blamed you for what your parents did but in your mind he hated you and always thought they chose you over him and he resented you but in fact he didn't your mind just kept tricking you into thinking that. You never thought that your brother would do that to himself but there's only so much one person can take before they finally break. You made the decision to move to get away from your parents you were scared to end up like your brother, they definitely had a way of manipulating people to get what they wanted, and you were scared they would try to push you just like they pushed him. What your brother never knew was that they were just as hard on you as they were on him, they always made you work harder and harder they always wanted you to do better to do more but you just wanted their love and to be told you were doing good but they only said it whenever your brother was around when he wasn't they hardly said a word always just saying you needed to do more. So, you finally had enough and moved away and you're trying to get over all that now you want to heal and feel whole again.

#wwe fanfiction #rhea ripley fanfiction #rhea ripley fluff #rhea ripley x reader #mami rhea #rhea ripley #rhea ripley fanfic #wwe images

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normanssurvivalsite · 1 year ago

Note

As you've likely seen by now, I've been reblogging nearly every Hazbin fic you have, which I apologize if that bothers you at all. I simply see a lack of the x male reader department for this show, which is ironic considering mostly all the characters are queer and so are the creators. So thank you for what you write and how well you write it! I was hoping I could make a request for a part two of a fic I rather liked "(Vox x bar tander!Male reader)" this one specifically. The reader left off having their soul contract bought and offered to be a bartender at the Vee's private bar, and I was wondering what would happen from there?

HIIIIII

THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST

Im really sorry it took so long😭

Also THANK YOU SO MUCH for the reblogs is doesn't bother me at all IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY WRITING💗💗

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, I THINK IT TURNED OUT PRETTY GOOD😌

ENJOY READING LOVELY PEOPLE

Warnings: Attempted Rape, violance V@lentino

Habit of saving

as a thank you pt.2

Vox x bartender!male reader

"I just dont fucking understand why the fuck you prefer the company of a lowly bartender over mine"

You hear Valentino's yelling from the other room, again.

This was not uncommon. Since you became the bartender in the Vees manor Vox visited the bar more often than before.

You guys spent hours talking and just because of the drinks either, he barely drunk anything cuz he was busy talking to you.

However, this of course annoyed Valentino. He wanted Vox's attention purely on himself.

"I don't." Said Vox, you know, like a lier.

"Work has just been really stressful lately and I need more drinks than before."

This was all lies. But Vox was not in the mood to be taking Valentino's shit, he would much rather go get a drink with you.

"Bullshit, I know how your work is and you blame everything on it, you dont even want to fuck me anymore are you a fucking moron do you know how many people want to get with ME."

And here he goes again. Vox was a little embarrassed though. It was true that since you arrived he was never in the mood to do it with Val, but he found himself having much more sex dreams with you.

He got red at the thought of that.

"You know what, I don't fucking care, go be happy with your boy toy; but don't you dare forget that you are where you are because of me." Ended the Argument Valentino as he grabbed a bottle from above your head, and walked out of the room.

You were silent during the whole argument. You knew it was not smart to start defending Vox you tried that once and, well, Vox had to stich you up afterwards.

"Care for a drink, sir?" You asked Vox. He was still, just standing in the middle of the room looking at the door.

He felt weird. Well, not weird, happy. But that was strange. Usually he felt guilty or annoyed when Valentino stormed off after a fight, usually he wanted to go after him. But not now. Now he felt...calm. Relieved even. He really wanted to sit down and have that drink with you.

"Yes, I would love a drink, and I've told you multiple times to call me Vox."

"Yeah I know but I didn't want to risk Val still hearing it." You chuckled.

"So, the usual, Vox?"

"Obviously." He answered back.

"Are you ok?" You asked as you poured his drink. You two were close enough for this not to be an awkward question. You were the bartender, you have comforted him after a night of drunken crying and put him to bed multiple times. He always asked you to stay. You never did. You just didn't feel ready yet.

"Getting better by the day, his antics don't affect me as strongly anymore." He commented calmly.

"I'm glad." You gave him his drink and you two continued talking.

And you talked, long into the night. Vox got a bit drunk again.

"All right mister I think it's time to get you to bed." You said smiling softly as you were about to jump from behind the bar and help him to his room.

"I can take care of him." Came a creepy calm voice from the door way. You saw Valentino.

He had a fake smile on his face. You knew this was trouble but he was kind of your boss.

"All right, sir." You just answered quietly, as Val took Vox and started to take him to his room.

"What-no, you-- (Y/N)--I, don't"

Vox mumbled drunken.

When they left the room you had a silent debate with yourself.

Yes Val was your boss. But you knew that taking advantage of someone while they're drunk was not below him.

"Fuck it" you mumbled to yourself as you jumped from behind the bar and tried to quietly run after them.

Thankfully you found them when they were about to enter the room.

When they got in you made sure to put your foot between the door and the frame so it doesn't close.

You peered into the room and you saw Val throw Vox onto the bed.

"You fucking whore, you couldn't keep your hands of the cute bartender boy could you."

He started angrily as he stepped onto Vox's screen, breaking it. You already wanted to barge in there when you saw this but when he started unbuckling his belt, thats when you snapped.

You jumped on Val, literally. And while the man might be powerful he had close to no muscles so he crumbled under you.

You knew you had close to no chance of winning. But you didn't care. You had to save Vox.

You tried to cut off Val's breathing by holding onto his neck for dear life. You might have been physically stronger he was still an overlord. A very powerful one.

You expected to be thrown down onto the floor any minute when the struggling finally stopped.

Your eyes opened widely as you hurriedly got off of Valentino.

You started panicking. What the fuck did you just kill an overlord? No, no there is no way he is so powerful why didn't he stop you.

You kneeled down and checked for a heart beat.

When you felt faint beating a boulder fell off your shoulder.

"Thank fuck" you commented to yourself. He probably just passed out.

But still why didn't he stop you.

You thought about it a but when it hit you. He was probably batshit drunk himself. You saw that when he walked away from the bar he barely managed to walk straight.

You were still panting.

You looked over at Vox and a strong feeling of sadness filled you.

You stepped over Vals passed out form and lifted up Vox.

He was lighter than you thought. You carried him all the way to your room where you knew you had a first aid kit.

Sure you could have just bring the first aid kit to him but you were not going to leave him alone with Valentino jot even for a second. Not even when they're both passed out.

After you put Vox's screen back together and batched him up you laid him down onto your bed.

This gave you time to think things through.

Even you couldn't explain to yourself why you cared about Vox this much.

Its true you have become very close during your time working here.

But there are people who you have known longer yet do not love as much as him.

...love?

You love him?

"(Y/N)"

While you were occupied with your thought you didn't notice the time. It was morning already.

"Yeah, Vox?"

"What the fuck happened?" He asked as he started touching his patched up screen.

You told him everything. You also told him that you will very likely have to leave because once Val wakes up...you don't want to know what he'll do to you.

"He can't do anything your soul is mine you are under my protection." He said firmly. He sat silently after that. Like someone who is contemplating something.

"Can I ask you something?"

He asked after a long silence.

"Of course"

"Why did you save me?"

This surprised you.

"Well, I mean I know what Val is like and...I just did what any normal person would do really-"

"No. You know no one in hell would to that for the demon that owns their soul. Not to mention this was the second time you saved me."

"...I honestly don't know why I did it the first time; I guess I just felt like...I dont know"

"And the second time."

You couldn't answer this. You knew the answer but you didn't want to say it.

"Well, you are a nice boss you treat me with kindness and-"

"No one would attack a powerful overlord just to safe their boss who is just 'nice'; try answering truthfully this time."

Well fuck. You knew Vox was a smart man but that didn't help you in this situation.

"I..." you didn't know what to do. You could come up with another lie but he would detect it no problem.

"I love you" you blurted out before you could stop yourself. The moment the words left your lips you smacked your hands onto your lips.

"I'm sorry sir I will leave-"

Vox took your hand in his when you wanted to stand up and pulled you towards him.

With one swift movement he placed his lips on your in a tender kiss.

You have never kissed a screen before but you were pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be like this.

His lips were soft but cold. It was an amazing kiss.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere." Said Vox while he let out a little chuckle.

"Because I love you too."

#male reader #hazbin x reader #hazbin x you #hazbin hotel x male reader #male y/n #hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #vox x male reader #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox

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tainsan · 2 years ago

Text

misfits IV (college!ateez x reader)

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

warnings: cursing, negligence, mentions of suicide, a fight between yeosang and yunho

word count: 8.5k

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--- THIS IS AN 18+ STORY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ---

“You’re also adding the overall total to the mean, it doesn’t need to be there.” You explain to Jeongin, who immediately face plants into his palm.

“Are you serious?” He groans, understanding his amateur mistake. You recognise the frustration, relating to the problems, having them yourself in the past due to being very stressed and sleep deprived.

“Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.”

Jeongin and you are sat side by side in the quiet solitude of the library, Jeongin finds himself engrossed in the assignment, his brow furrowed as he surveys over his mistake. The air is filled with a hushed diligence, the only sounds being the soft rustling of papers and the occasional scratch of pen against paper. The library offers a sanctuary for their focused work, providing a space free from distractions where they can dive deep into the realm of knowledge and learning. You are not too far from the spot where you tutored San and Jongho last week. Yet you decided to stay away from the particular spot, so you don’t get too distracted by the strong memories and thoughts of the two men.

“I feel like I could’ve sorted that out by myself, I’m sorry for wasting your time.” Jeongin looks extremely apologetic, and you can’t help but feel bad for him.

“It’s really okay, my morning was free anyways, and I’m always glad to help a friend.” You smile at him, his remorseful gaze melting away and being replaced by his signature eye smile.

“You better get going though, you’ve got an important date to attend to.” You wink at him, wiggling your eyebrows jokingly. Jeongin rolls his eyes before grabbing his things and bidding you a sweet goodbye. You reflect on Jeongin’s happiness, a wave of warmth and affection washes over your heart. Thoughts of your friend finding someone he truly likes, brings a genuine smile to your face. Silently hoping that this newfound relationship will last, the look on his features pure.

As the time passes by, you realise it’s time to find Jisung and attempt to explain your situation in a way that won’t freak him out too much. Grabbing your phone, you send him a text that you’re in the library, you await his presence by editing the finishing an assignment that needs to be uploaded by tomorrow.

“Girl, I haven’t heard from you in days where the fuck have you been?” Jisung’s voice speaks from behind you loudly, causing fellow library attendants to send him pointed glares. Jisung sends the look back, telling them to mind their business before bringing you into a warm hug. The two of you sit down next to each other, your assignment pushed to the side. Turning to your best friend, you give him the apologetic look you can muster.

“It’s been really crazy, I’m so sorry.” You reply, regretful for denying the events from the past few days from your best friend, knowing it would’ve been much more manageable with Jisung by your side.

“Right? Minho told me that Kim fucking Hongjoong came into your lecture and demanded you to see him?”

You grimace, remembering that day and how likely it was that the whole school is talking about you right now, “yeah that did happen?”

“Did he threaten you? Stab you? Poison you? You know he’s the leader of the group, right?”

“Yeah, a good leader too.”

“Is that seriously the only thing you got from that sentence?”

“Jisung I’m fine, he actually offered me a place to live…” your words are careful, trying to be quiet, knowing someone is probably listening to your conversation after hearing the words ‘Hongjoong’. Maybe even listening in since they saw you, knowing the attention you are receiving now is much more than usual.

“Okay what.” Jisung looks at you in disbelief, he eyes scanning yours to look for any sign of a joke, “she’s gone insane holy shit.”

“Jisung I’m not insane shut up. His mother is a real estate agent, and they pulled some strings.”

“Okay you’re telling me that the Ateez magically pulled strings for you.”

“I know it’s hard to believe but they really aren’t as bad as you think, only one of them is… questionable.”

Jisung gaze towards you softens, “I want to believe you, but I’ve seen it first-hand how rude they can be to people,”

“Maybe they are trying to change? Come on Ji, it’s me, you know damn well I’m a good judge of character.”

There is a long pause between the conversation, Jisung letting in the information you have provided him with. Jisung knows you are very good at reading people, due to past events you’ve had many situations where you don’t like a friend of his, even if they are the kindest person in the world to him. They always end up the way that you see them and warn Jisung of. At this point Jisung judges your gut feeling more than his own.

“I trust you. If you say they are nice then I will believe it. Just be careful around them, okay?”

You nod at Jisung, happy he understands. As you sit in quiet reflection, an intense sense of gratitude washes over you, directed towards your cherished best friend. With each passing thought, you are reminded of the countless moments you have shared, and the unwavering support Jisung has always offered you. He has been a pillar of strength and a constant source of comfort in your life, and you are overwhelmed with an immense feeling of thankfulness for the presence of Jisung in your life.

“So, what place did you get?” Jisung asks, curious as to where you ended up staying. You realise you never actually told him the full story. Preparing yourself for the worst, you try to find the right words to use.

“Do you promise to not freak out?” You question, your words again quiet, fearful of someone listening in to the conversation. Jisung raises an eyebrow in your direction, very intrigued as to why you would have to caution him not to freak out.

“After finding out Ateez are actually sweethearts, nothing can freak me out.”

“I’m living with them.” You deadpan, not finding any easy way to put it. Watching as Jisung’s eyes open hugely, his mouth takes in a large breath before opening. Before he can even get any words out, you cover his mouth with your hand, stopping his scream from echoing across, likely, the entire library.

“Please don’t freak out!” You exclaim, attempting to silence him as quickly as possible, hoping not to get kicked out of the library. Slowly removing your hand from his mouth, his shocked expression stays present on his face. If this were a scene from a movie, it would definitely make the two of you laugh.

“I’m not freaking out, you’re freaking out.” His voice is high pitched and out of breath, his ears not believing the absurd words exiting your mouth.

“Look I know, it’s insane, but it was my only option.”

Jisung slightly relaxes, yet his entire body is noticeably still tense and on edge.

“I’m saying this because I love you, but are you fucking stupid?” Rolling your eyes at him, you start to speak yet you get cut off, “you can’t live with eight guys.”

“That’s how it would’ve been if I moved in with you.” You retort.

“Yes, but Minho and I would be there to keep you safe if they tried anything. I don’t know your roommates; how do I trust them not to hurt you?”

“Jisung, I really appreciate that you care, but I trust them. They are too respectful to do anything. Plus, you know if they ever hurt me, I’d WWE the shit out of them.”

Jisung’s laugh is boisterous and echoes in the library, when he gets shushed by the people around him, he quickly puts his finger to his lips and shushes them back, again. Looking back at you, his eyes scan your face for any signs of discomfort. When he sees none, his body relaxes a little.

“You’d call me if anything happened, right?” Jisung questions, he moves his hand to rest on yours on top of the large oak table.

“Of course, Ji. It’s not like anyone else is on my emergency contact list.” You say joking through the bitterness evident on your voice.

“Speaking of, have you heard anything from your dad?” Jisung’s voice is soft, knowing how sensitive the subject can be for you.

“Not really, and I don’t particularly care. I did see on Facebook that he has found a new family to terrorise.”

Jisung’s eye roll is almost audible, he lets out an exasperated groan, “this guy never fails to surprise me with his bullshit.”

“You’d think he’d had enough after destroying one family.”

“Let’s not talk about it, he doesn’t deserve the attention.” A comfortable silence begins, and you feel yourself relax, Jisung continues talking when he realises, he didn’t ask a crucial question. “You do have your own room, right?”

“Yes of course. It’s a super nice room, and the bed is so big and comfortable. Plus, I have my own bathroom, so I don’t need to worry about walking in on them naked.” You reply, thinking about the amazing rest you had the previous night.

“That wouldn’t be too bad.” Jisung confesses, leaning back in his chair.

“What the fuck are you saying?” You hit Jisung’s arm, baffled by the nonsense coming out of his mouth, “weren’t you the one who was literally bashing on them earlier?”

“What? Just because I don’t especially like them, doesn’t mean they aren’t undeniably handsome and sexy as fuck.”

“Jisung shut up, you literally have a boyfriend.”

“I also have two perfectly functioning eyes, and if they are so respectful and kind maybe you should bag one,” Jisung looks over at you, a devious glint in his eyes, “or all.”

“Not a chance, Yunho fucking hates me for some reason.”

Jisung looks at you with a gobsmacked expression, “Yunho? Hate you? How can this guy hate you? You’re the sweetest person in the whole world.”

“I don’t know to be honest, Seonghwa said it was because he’s bad with new people, but I feel like there’s something more to the story.”

“Hang on we will unpack that another time. The Park Seonghwa?” Jisung questions, his eyes even wider than before. You start to wonder how wide his eyes can even go at this point.

“Yes?”

“He’s so fine holy shit. If you don’t bag him, I will.” Jisung relaxes back into his chair again.

“Again, you have a boyfriend.”

“Multiple boyfriends are a thing.” The short male jokes, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m joking. I love Minho to bits, you know that.”

Laughing at Jisung whilst rolling your eyes, he gently pushes your arm, clearly wanting more details.

“So, you’re telling me you have zero feelings for any of them?” Jisung inquires, leaning closer to you, resting his chin on his hand, a questioning look on his features.

“Why are you so interested in my love life Han?”

“I’m your best friend, your love life is very interesting to me.”

Just as you're about to respond, a vibrant flash of pink captures your attention from behind Jisung, causing you to momentarily lose focus. As the source of the pink draws nearer, you realize it's Mingi approaching your table. His piercing gaze sends a chill down your spine, and you can't help but notice the awe-struck gazes of onlookers as he effortlessly navigates past numerous tables. There's an undeniable air of confidence in his stride, similar to that of a model confidently strutting down a runway, leaving you in awe of his presence.

Caught off guard by your sudden distraction, Jisung turns around, following your gaze to the approaching figure. Sensing his confusion, you instinctively reach out, placing a comforting hand on your best friend's shoulder, offering him reassurance amidst the unexpected arrival of Mingi.

“Don’t worry, he’s one of the nicer ones.” You whisper in his ear, Jisung’s tense shoulders relaxing slightly.

“So, you weren’t lying about moving in, were you?” Jisung whispers back, his eyes not leaving Mingi’s tall structure.

The tall male reaches the table you are at, you are glad that his back is faced towards all the people staring, otherwise they would see the smile that spreads across his features.

“Hey,” Mingi smiles at you, not even paying attention to the smaller man sat closer to him.

Jisung stares at Mingi, shocked to even see a smile on Mingi’s face. Eventually, Mingi looks towards Jisung, and his smile fades slightly, but doesn’t disappear. Gently nodding his head in Jisung’s direction, as if he says hello, he turns his head back to you.

At this small gesture, you are somewhat happy that they are not treating your best friend the cold way you have heard so much about. It is huge for Mingi to be nice to you, so the fact he is also being pleasant to your friend makes you feel extremely touched by the small act.

“You have anatomy soon, right?” Mingi’s deep voice questions you. You and Jisung are both surprised that the man knows what you have next.

“Yeah, I do, how did you know?”

“I’m walking in the same direction; do you want to go together?" Mingi ignores your question leaving you confused, yet you decide to pay no attention to it.

“Well, I was actually going to walk with Jisung.” You say, slightly upset for denying the pink haired man, seeing that he came all the way to find you so you could walk together.

Jisung’s eyes light up like lightbulbs as a thought enters his head, “no, she wasn’t. I was walking by myself. Goodbye you two. It was nice to meet you Mingi.” Jisung has a huge grin on his face as he grabs his bag off the floor and rushes to leave the library.

Confused out of your mind, you look towards Jisung as he leaves, with your arms signing ‘what?’. The only thing your best friend does is point towards Mingi, who still has his eyes on you, he then mouths the words ‘bag him’ before laughing and almost sprinting out of the large room. Wasn’t he the one who said he didn’t want you to be around them? ‘This guy doesn’t have enough time to be playing match maker,’ you think in your head and let out a groan.

“Is it that bad to walk with me to class?” Mingi questions, his expression sorrowful, worried from the groan that just left your lips.

Immediately, you feel bad and reassure the man in front of you, “no Mingi of course not. I was just weirded out by his actions; I’d love to walk with you.”

Instantly, the frown on his face is replaced by a relieved smile. Feeling happy you’re comfortable to walk with him, Mingi helps you pack your things into your bag and the two of you head out of the library, trying to ignore all the stares you get from the people around you. If this is what it’s like to be friends with Ateez, you might as well get used to it, even if you hate being in the spotlight.

As Mingi bids you farewell and heads off to his next class, a wave of realization washes over you. Despite living with the Ateez members, there is still so much you don't know about them. Determined to resolve this, you make a mental note to engage with them individually, realizing that one-on-one conversations might be more manageable and less overwhelming than having them all in one room together. Living under the same roof provides ample opportunities for deeper connections to form.

As the professor enters the classroom, the chatter subsides, and a hush of anticipation settles over the students. You take a seat in the back, preparing for the extended lesson that lies ahead. Thoughts of the impending dinner with the Ateez members fill your mind, stir up mixed feelings within you. It has been quite some time since you've had dinner with a larger group of people, reminiscing about the warmth and amity that accompanied those moments back in high school. The sight of them gathering around the table, like a chosen family, tugs at your heartstrings. However, the prospect of encountering Yunho once again fills you with concern. The words Seonghwa spoke about Hongjoong's "good way of disciplining" linger in your thoughts, leaving you with a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty. You contemplate the dynamics at the dinner table, resolving to find a seat away from Yunho to avoid any confrontations or discomfort.

Realizing that you've allowed your mind to wander, you refocus your attention on the lecture, determined not to miss any crucial information. The upcoming dinner remains at the back of your mind, a blend of excitement and apprehension. You reassure yourself that tonight will be an opportunity to observe and evaluate the dynamics of the group, to see how everyone interacts and finding your place. Deep down, you know that time and shared experiences will reveal more about each member's true nature, allowing you to navigate this new chapter with openness and resilience.

With renewed focus, you immerse yourself in the lecture, ready to absorb the knowledge before you and face the dinner with a mixture of curiosity and cautious optimism.

---

Frustration consumes you as you struggle to insert your key into the stubborn lock, the front door refusing to yield to your attempts. With an exasperated sigh, you lean forward, allowing the weight of your frustration to manifest as a slight bang against the door, as your head comes in contact with the white door. The lecture had ended at four, and you had planned a quick shopping trip with Jisung to grab the forgotten essentials like toothpaste and shampoo. However, fate had a different plan in mind as you unexpectedly ran into Felix near the school. Before you knew it, the three of you found yourselves lured into a charming café that Felix had discovered through the enticing realm of TikTok. Sensing the minutes slipping away, you bid your hasty goodbyes when the clock neared seven, anxious not to be tardy for your inaugural dinner together.

Fortunately, someone had left a key for you on the kitchen counter this morning, yet you are starting to think it’s not the key to the house. Maybe it was Yunho playing a trick on you, so you can’t get into the house, and you will leave him alone. Luckily for you, you happen to be pretty stubborn, and you are not going to give in to whatever this ruse is.

Pulling out your phone, you go to your contacts and push in San’s number. You think you should probably get the rest of the boys’ numbers so if you’re stuck outside at least you have more of a chance of getting inside.

The phone rings about three times before the phone picks up, and you’re surprised at how fast San picks up.

“___, hey. What’s up?” San speaks over the phone, his voice is soft, yet for some reason you can hear he has a smile on his face, perhaps he had a good day. Hearing the smile on San’s face brings a smile to your own and you frustration pointed towards the door melts away. You can hear him shuffling around in the background.

“Hey San, are you home at the moment?” You ask, putting you key back into your pocket.

“Yeah, I am. Why?” The curiosity laced in San’s words is unmissable.

“My key isn’t working for some reason, could you please open the door for me?”

“Ohhhh,” San speaks out, realising the problem, “try pulling the door towards you slightly when you turn the key.”

Reaching into your bag once again, you pull out the key and place it back in the lock. This time, gently pulling the door towards you and just like magic the lock turns fully, opening the door.

“Ah thank you San!” You exclaim as you walk inside the house and start to take off your shoes.

“No worries” a voice speaks out from in front of you. Whipping your head up, you see San leaning against the railing of the staircase with a small smile on his face. Why does he look so handsome suddenly?

“How long have you been there?” You ask, wondering if he was just passing by.

“Since the first time you tried to unlock the door.”

The disbelief washes over you as you observe the guy standing there, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he could have easily opened the door for you.

A wave of guilt surges through you, realizing that you had unfairly blamed Yunho for something that wasn't his fault. It dawns on you that perhaps it's premature to judge him as a horrible person without giving him a chance. The thought lingers in your mind, igniting a flicker of curiosity you decide maybe you should try to get to know him better before passing any final judgments.

“Why didn’t you open the door then?” You groan as you walk past him, into the kitchen where you see Jongho sat at the island, watching a video on his phone. San follows you behind, and watches as you place your bag on the island, catching Jongho’s attention.

“___,” Jongho says with a smile. You return his smile as you take a seat at the island not too far from Jongho.

“If I had opened the door for you then you would never learn how to properly open it.” San explains, his smile is still on his features, yet you can see just a hint of teasing behind it.

You feel your annoyance fade away as you realise, he has a point, still being stubborn though, you blow a raspberry at him, faking annoyance, causing a laugh to erupt from his throat.

Approaching you with a playful demeanour, San affectionately places a hand on top of your head, his touch causing a gentle ruffle of your hair. A soft smile tugs at his lips as he leans down, bringing his eyes to meet yours, and in that intimate proximity, your faces mere inches apart, he confesses, "You're cute."

The sudden admission sends a surge of warmth rushing up your neck, setting your cheeks ablaze. Overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, you instinctively break eye contact, leaning back as if to create some distance between you and the rush of emotions that swirl within you. San, now standing tall again, leans against the counter behind you, his presence a comforting anchor amidst the fluttering of your heart.

In an attempt to collect yourself, you shift your gaze towards Jongho, who observes the exchange between you and San with a knowing smile. Catching the small glare Jongho directs towards San before turning his attention to you, his smile resumes, radiating a sense of reassurance and understanding.

“How was your day?” Jongho asks, turning off his phone and placing it face down on the counter.

“It was good, I helped a friend with his project and then had an extended lecture which I am absolutely exhausted from. I also went to a really nice café with Jisung and Felix” You reply, sinking into the chair.

“Who is Felix?” San asks, curious at the unfamiliar name. His voice is a little sharp and you can’t help but wonder why.

“He’s one of Jisung’s friends, we don’t hang out that often, but it was nice to see him today.”

“Are you two close friends?” Jongho is the one who questions this time.

“Not that close, he’s more of an acquaintance to me.” I explain to the two.

They both lets out “ah’s” as they let the information process in their heads.

“You didn’t go to Wooyoung’s café?” San questions, sitting next to you, “he was working today.” San adds.

Feeling bad all of a sudden, you remember the café Wooyoung works at.

“Next time I’ll go there for sure,” you say, hoping they aren’t mad about you not going to their friend’s café.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he doesn’t mind.” Jongho reassures you the second he sees the slightest amount of guilt on your face. Smiling at Jongho, you silently thank him for reassuring your worries.

Then, you suddenly remember the unfinished assignment essay you have yet to submit to the online drop box. Checking the time on your phone, you are relieved to see that you likely have enough time to finish it before dinner.

“Excuse me, I need to finish this essay, I will see you two later.” You explain as you grab your belongings off the island, turning to walk to your room, you take one more look at the men in the kitchen. They are both watching you as you leave, but they have smiles on their faces.

“Good luck,” Jongho says before you close the door to your room.

The next forty minutes are spent in your room, putting the final touches on your assignment, a sense of accomplishment fills the air around you. With a satisfied smile, you close your laptop, knowing that you have poured your efforts and creativity into completing the task at hand. Glancing around, you realise that dinner is still in the process of being prepared, and a surge of anticipation awakens your taste buds. The tempting aromas wafting from the kitchen ignite a hunger within you, making you eagerly await the culinary delights soon to be served. In this brief moment of transition, you revel in the satisfaction of a job well done, ready to savour the flavours that await you at the dinner table.

When Seonghwa knocks on your door to let you know that dinner is almost ready, you send a smile in his direction before getting back to your screen, only having to upload the document. As dinner gets closer, you hear more noises around the house of people entering the abode, your excitement intensifying as you hear Wooyoung’s high pitched laugh from the kitchen making you chuckle under your breath.

Just as you send in your assignment, you hear a soft knock on your door before you hear Mingi’s deep voice speak explaining dinner is ready.

You take a minute to put your laptop into your bag again and clear up your desk quickly before heading out the door and towards the living room. You pass Yunho in the kitchen who is stirring something in a pot. Walking around him quietly, strategically avoiding his gaze, you make it past the kitchen without him seeing you.

As you enter the room, you notice the group gathered around the expansive table, everyone is present except for the notably tall male figure. Finding an empty seat beside Mingi and Seonghwa, you greet everyone with a respectful hello, initiating a brief conversation with Mingi to ask about his day. The conversation flows effortlessly, yet it is cut short as your attention is swiftly diverted by the entrance of Yunho.

He is carrying plates of food. A smile tugs at your lips as the pleasant aroma wafts towards you, instantly recognizing one it as of your favourite meals. Your mouth begins to water in anticipation as you watch Yunho meticulously place the plates in front of each person around the table. However, as he reaches your spot, he strangely passes your plate and instead sets it down in front of Seonghwa, a confusing act that leaves you momentarily taken aback. With a mixture of surprise and confusion, you lock eyes with Yunho, who takes a seat directly across from you, further adding to the mystery of his actions.

“And ___’s plate, Yunho.” Hongjoong questions, his voice is strong and authoritative yet the glare that Yunho gives you shows he ignored Hongjoong completely.

“Sorry, I only made enough for eight.” Yunho glares at you, ignoring the sighs of disappointment and groans from the seven males around him.

“You can have mine,” Seonghwa begins to put his plate in front of you, yet you stop him. Smiling at him gently, you turn back to Yunho in front of you.

“Enjoy your meal, Yunho. I hope you’re happy.” You deadpan, before standing up and pacing out the room, irritated with the bullshit that Yunho is pulling. As you rise from your seat, Wooyoung makes a move to join you, concern written across his face. However, you gently halt his advance, urging him to remain seated and enjoy his meal. Seonghwa's assurance that Hongjoong would handle the situation lingers in your mind, but deep down, you harbour scepticism about Yunho's ability to change so quickly.

Despite feeling deeply disappointed by the turn of events, you gather your inner strength, resolved to confront the situation on your own terms. You remind yourself that you are capable of handling this setback, even though it casts a shadow over your anticipation for the dinner.

“Yunho what the fuck are you trying to do?” Wooyoung demands as he glares at the tall male, his disappoint and anger evident in his words, his stance defensive.

“Just eat. It’s her problem.” Yunho answers, starting to cut his food up.

----

“He didn’t make me food, on purpose, so I just walked out.” You explain the situation to Jisung over the phone.

“Now this is what I expected from an Ateez member to be honest. No hate.” Jisung groans over the phone, annoyance evident on his voice.

The enticing aroma of your favourite meal still wafts through the air, and you find yourself torn between anticipation and frustration. Yunho skilfully prepared the dish you adore, and you aren’t sure is he made the meal because he knows you like it, that would be impossible. Your irritancy intensifies as you realise this was a deliberate attempt to manipulate your emotions.

It becomes painfully clear that Yunho purposefully made the meal with the intent to excite you, using it as a weapon to push you towards the decision of moving out. The realization strikes you like a jagged bolt of lightning, igniting a mixture of anger and hurt. A part of you wants to go back into the dining room and snatch his plate from under his nose, but a stronger part of you resists, refusing to let Yunho's manipulation dictate your actions.

As soon as you entered your room, you found yourself calling your best friend, disappointed but not surprised by the actions of Yunho. Scurrying over to your bed, you rest on the edge still trying to fully process the events. Ranting to Jisung only makes you realise how annoyed you are on the tallest male.

“It’s annoying yes, but it’s manageable. If he starts squaring up on me though I will likely be very scared, bro is big.” You half joke, knowing that he likely won’t dare to start a fight with you due to Hongjoong being present. Tonight, wasn’t nice but it wasn’t like he threatened you or said particularly rude things, if it’s like this you are for sure able to manage at least until you find another place to live. Yes, this place is extremely nice and affordable but it’s not somewhere you see yourself living in for a long time.

“Have you at least eaten anything?” Jisung’s question leaves you shocked. No, you haven’t eaten anything since probably lunch. The second you think about food, your stomach emits a loud growl, leaving you to face palm. Definitely should buy some food, you think to yourself, still aggravated about missing out on the most delicious food you’ve smelt in a while.

Reassuring Jisung, then saying goodbye after about an hour of talking, you hang up the call and immediately open your fast-food app. Scanning through each restaurant you end up even more irritated seeing that there are no deals and most of the food will take at least an hour to arrive. You’re not sure you should be even buying food, seeing how posh the area is it would be a crime to even think about ordering cheap fast food. Flipping from the food application, you go to your bank account checking to see if you even have enough money to be buying a meal. Seeing the amount makes you audibly sigh, your ideas of getting food leaving your mind quicker than you can shut off your phone. Laying back on your bed, you close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, attempting to let the frustration slowly vacate your body.

‘Whatever.’ You think to yourself, you’re not eating so you might as well get ready for bed.

Walking into the bathroom and settling into your night time routine, a sense of annoyance creeping over you when you notice that your favourite moisturizer is running dangerously low. Frustration bubbles within you as you realise that you’ll soon need to replace it. You contemplate the possibility of squeezing out every last drop, hoping to prolong its usage just a little while longer. Sighing to yourself, you realise that you have to again spend money on something you would rather not. Wishing you could just ignore your need for moisturiser, you groan knowing you can’t due to having extremely dry skin in the winter and you’d prefer to not look like your skin was falling off. The moisturiser you use isn’t even that expensive, it’s just a supermarket own brand one that barely keeps your skin looking presentable, yet it’s all you can afford, you have other things you have to save your money for.

Making your way wearily back to your bed, where your phone rests on the charger, you snatch it up and settle on the edge of the mattress. With a swift search on YouTube, you strive to find the perfect video to unwind with before drifting off to sleep. Yet, as your finger taps on a selection, the video barely has a chance to begin before a soft knock reverberates from your door.

Your head whips towards the source of the sound, a realization dawning upon you that someone seeks entry. Surprise tinged with guilt washes over you as you reflect on having walked out on dinner, aware of its importance to the other person. Amidst the rapid whirl of thoughts, you question why you are shouldering the blame when it was Jeong Yunho who acted insensitively.

A flicker of panic flits through your mind, silently hoping that it's not Yunho standing on the other side of the door. Should you pretend to be asleep? No, that won't work, as they would have heard you using the bathroom. Lost in a flurry of racing thoughts, you momentarily forget that someone patiently awaits your response, mere inches away on the other side of the wall.

“Um ___? Can I come in quickly?” A deep sweet voice sounds from behind the wooden door and you immediately recognise it as Yeosang. Letting out a soft sigh of relief you answer back, letting Yeosang know it’s okay for him to open the entrance to your room.

From across the room, your gaze fixates on the door, anticipation coursing through your veins. It swings open, revealing the familiar figure of Yeosang standing hesitantly in the doorway, his presence both captivating and disarming. As your eyes slowly travel from the bottom of his body to his face, you can't help but take note of the subtle changes in his appearance. His usual jeans and hoodie are replaced by a black tank top that showcases his toned arms and snug grey sweatpants that accentuate his casual yet charming vibe. The sight of his bare arms, muscles defined and veins subtly visible, evokes a mix of admiration and intrigue within you. You find yourself captivated by the way his physique displays strength and confidence.

Caught in the act of observing him, Yeosang registers you checking him out, a blend of pride and embarrassment sweeping across his features. His cheeks dusted with a rosy hue, hints at the flattery he feels under your gaze. A contented, almost bashful smile graces his lips, revealing his genuine delight at being the centre of your attention. His usually carefully styled hair appears tousled, and you realise he must have been readying for bed.

However, your attention is abruptly drawn to the paper bag clutched in his hand, distracting your eyes away from his physique and back to his face. The red blush on his cheeks remains, giving him an endearing charm, while his eyes sparkle with a mix of excitement and nervousness. The sight of his dishevelled hair and his relaxed attire only amplifies his charm, adding a touch of effortless attractiveness to his overall appearance.

“I bought you some food. I wasn’t too sure what you’d like so I got a mixture of some things.” Yeosang explains, holding up the paper bag in his hand.

This act instantly makes your heart speed up and your chest to feel warm despite the freeing temperature of your room. This kind gesture warms your heart, and you can’t help but feel incredibly grateful to the man standing in your doorway.

Yeosang's gaze sweeps over your figure, his eyes instinctively drawn to the form-fitting pyjamas that hug your curves. A surge of satisfaction courses through him as he realizes the envy that would consume the other boys if they knew the position he is in at this very moment. Grateful for the stroke of fortune that has brought him into this position, he momentarily loses himself in a spiral of thoughts, silently expressing gratitude to whichever higher power may have orchestrated this unexpected encounter. However, his attention is abruptly redirected as your soft voice breaks through the reverie, grounding him back to the present moment.

“Yeosang, I,” you start to speak yet you can’t find the words to express your gratitude to him, you instead invite him to enter your room fully. “Please come in.” You request, smiling widely at the giddy man who is now in your bedroom.

It’s the first time Yeosang has been in your bedroom since you decorated it, finding some small posters and fairy lights to hang around your room, and some plants to place around making it feel more like home. He looks throughout the space, admiring what you’ve done to it.

“I still have some more things I need to buy before it becomes home.” You admit to the blonde male as he looks around. When he hears your statement, he looks towards you and smiles warmly.

“Here you go,” he says, handing you the bag, and stepping backwards, wanting to not bother you further and let you eat in peace. Looking down into the bag, you see a few different packages, wrapped in aluminium foil and the smell reaches your nostrils, filling them up with the most delicious savoury scent, causing your mouth to water and your stomach reminds you how hungry you actually were.

When you look back up, you see Yeosang back by the doorway, heavily debating whether he should leave or stay to make sure you finish the food, nervously shifting from one foot to the other, unsure of what to say. You smile at his actions, for a buff guy who is supposedly a ‘bad boy’, he sure is cute.

“Yeosang,” you speak out, catching his attention, he meets your eyes, and you swear you could have fainted at that moment. His gaze holds a gentle softness, yet beneath the surface, you sense a wealth of unspoken feelings concealed within the intensity of his eye contact. Words are on the tip of your tongue as you contemplate the question that weighs heavily on your mind, unsure of how to speak your thoughts.

Yeosang, sensing your hesitation and the hint of worry in your stance, takes a step closer, concern etched on his features. Something in the way you stand, lost in your thoughts while gazing at him, tells him that something might be wrong. “Are you okay?” He asks.

Before you can find the right words, however, you instinctively close the distance between you, your heart racing with anticipation. The bag of food you were holding slips from your hands, forgotten on the floor as you gently wrap your arms around him, seeking comfort in a tender embrace.

Yeosang tenses up, caught off guard by the sudden display of affection. Your abrupt departure only further fuels his uncertainty, leaving you standing a meter away, immediately apologizing for potentially crossing boundaries. “I’m sorry, I’m just extremely grateful for the food I’m so sorry for pushing your boundaries,”

But before you can utter another word, this time, Yeosang closes the distance, his hands enveloping you, drawing you closer to his chest. Your cheek presses against the warmth of his shirt, the sensation of his toned physique beneath it briefly registering in your mind. Overwhelmed by the strength and security of his hold, you find yourself tensing up this time, momentarily taken aback by the unexpected gesture. Yet, understanding his earlier hesitation from your own action, you reciprocate by wrapping your arms around his waist, surrendering to the comfort of the embrace.

Time seems to stretch as you bask in the comfort of his arms, feeling a sense of familiarity and longing that has been absent for far too long. Your light-headedness gives way to a contented sigh, revelling in the serenity given by his hug. Expecting the moment to end, you begin to pull away, only to be pulled back into his chest, your cheek colliding with his in a gentle 'oof' of surprise.

Moments blur into eternity as you remain locked in each other's arms, a silent connection between your two souls. Yeosang withdraws slightly, but his hold remains, your arms still embracing his waist, his still encircling your shoulders.

Your gazes meet once again, mere inches apart, illuminated by the soft glow of the bedside lamp. Even in the dim light, you can discern the flush that colours his cheeks, an unreadable expression adorning his features. It's an unfamiliar emotion that leaps around in his eyes, neither embarrassment nor discomfort, but something entirely new, leaving you dizzy with curiosity.

For what feels like an eternity, the two of you engage in a silent exchange, locked in a gaze that renders you weak at the knees. And just when you think your heart couldn't flutter any faster, Yeosang breaks the silence with a confession that catches you off guard. His eyes remain fixed on yours, unwavering and sincere as he admits, "Your eyes are beautiful."

“Uh thank you.” You reply, cheeks growing even hotter than you thought they could go. You just know if Jisung would see you right now he would scream his lungs out.

Moving away from Yeosang, he momentarily wonders if he screwed up by saying those words, yet when he sees the sincere smile on your face, his worries melt away and he gets lost in your expression.

“Would you eat with me?” You question, hoping he will keep you company, the question of ‘did we know each other before college?’ slipping your mind completely.

---

Seated cross-legged on your bed, you relish the delicious food that Yeosang thoughtfully brought for you. Across from you, he sits on the edge of the bed, one leg tucked comfortably while the other dangles freely. His eyes never waver from you, captivated by the way you devour the meal with avid hunger, and a sense of relief washes over him. It's evident that you must have been starving, and he silently curses Yunho for denying you a proper meal earlier during the disastrous dinner. In this intimate moment, he seethes with anger at the thought of you being deprived of a simple joy you were so excited about, confirming his resolve to make up for it.

As you converse one-on-one with Yeosang, the opportunity to have a genuine heart-to-heart arises, a chance to connect without the distractions of others. The conversation flows effortlessly as you delve into the events of your day, sharing thoughts, dreams, and anything that comes to mind. It's in these moments that you notice a subtle transformation in Yeosang's demeanour. His eyes shimmer with a radiant passion whenever he talks about dance, and his voice releases a fresh energy when he discusses subjects close to his heart.

Discovering his love for reading piques your interest, knowing your mutual fondness for books. This realization sparks a lively conversation about favourite authors and cherished books. The genuine curiosity and engagement exchanged between the two of you ignites a flutter within your chest, relishing the ease with which you connect and share your passions with Yeosang.

Yeosang remains by your side until the very last piece of food disappears, his unwavering presence a testament to his attentiveness and care. Not a single crumb is left, and as you sink back into the comforting embrace of your pillows, the weight of the day begins to settle upon you. The heaviness of your eyelids is a gentle reminder that rest is calling, but before sleep claims you, you can't help but feel grateful for the precious moment spent with Yeosang.

“This is the book I was explaining earlier!” Yeosang exclaims, turning his phone to you to show the book he couldn’t remember the name of. However, when he looks up to you, he finds you snuggled into the pillow, your mouth slightly parted, eyes closed. Surprised, his eyes widen as he peers over your sleeping form. Yeosang’s heart swells, revelling in the fact that you felt comfortable enough to allow yourself to fall asleep.

Tucking you into your blanket, careful not to wake you up, he studies you once more, taking in all of your features. He notes each freckle and mole on your face, the way your eyelashes rest against the swell of your cheeks, your hair falling messily over the sheets.

Yeosang gracefully exits your room, a gentle smile adorning his face and a faint blush colouring his cheeks. The evening spent together was a significant milestone in your friendship, and he couldn't help but feel content that he had won the rock-paper-scissors with Wooyoung to order food for you. However, what catches him off guard is the sight of Yunho emerging from his own room simultaneously, intending to make a trip to the kitchen for a glass of water. In that moment, disappointment flickers across Yunho's eyes as he witnesses Yeosang leaving your room.

“Are you seriously cosying up to her?” Yunho’s voice is once again full of venom, not even realising the tone he’s using to talk to his close friend.

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now Yunho.” Exhausted by the taller male's behaviour, Yeosang attempts to walk past him, seeking to put some distance between them. However, his friend intercepts him, halting his steps and preventing him from moving forward.

“I’m being serious, how can you just let her in after everything we have been through?”

“You can’t hold this grudge up forever; she lives with us now.”

“You were the one who said, ‘we will never let outsiders in again’ what the fuck happened to that?”

“It’s ___ dude, she was never an outsider, and you know that damn well.”

“Are you seriously this desperate to get your dick wet that you’ve forgotten everything we have been through?”

“That’s not what this is about, you know that.” Yeosang pushes past Yunho and walks towards the kitchen, taking a seat down on the barstool. Yunho follows him, grabbing a glass from the designated cupboard.

“She may have saved Hwa, Yeosang, but the second she is given the opportunity to leave us she will, just like Ryu did.”

“I don’t understand why you are acting like this after everything she did to help us get back on our feet. She is nothing like her, you would know that if you gave yourself the chance to get to know ___.”

“I don’t understand why you are acting like this. This is exactly what happened with Ryu, she got close to us, just to take away everything.”

“Aren’t you tired of acting like a dickhead to everyone all the time?”

“We do this, so we don’t go through that ever again.” Yunho’s voice raises slightly, his voice starting to echo in the kitchen. “We have acted like this for years because that is the damn narrative that that bitch gave us.”

“Are you seriously telling me after all these years you aren’t tired of being this way just to avoid getting your heart broken? It’s a human thing, Yunho, we deserve love too.”

“You aren’t the one who had your entire heart ripped out of your chest.” Yunho’s voice is louder this time causing some restless heads in the house to shake awake.

“You know damn well my heart was crushed too.” This time Yeosang yells back at him, taking the tall man by surprise. Yeosang barely ever raises his voice, let alone it being directed toward someone, Yunho steps back a little. “I know what you had with her, you thought was special, but you can’t keep dwelling on it. Back when this all began, ___ was the only person willing to be kind. I know for a fact you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel even the smallest amount of love for her.” Yeosang’s voice is exasperated, begging towards his friend to stop the act he has up.

“Then what if I do love her?” Yunho’s voice cracks and Yeosang can see the tears starting to dwell in his eyes, causing him to soften slightly. Yunho continues, “there’s nothing stopping her from doing the same thing as Ryu the second Seonghwa’s dickhead of a father offers her the money to ruin us. She will leave us and our hearts, my heart will be broken again.” The tears in Yunho’s eyes fall onto the surface of the island, yet he doesn’t know whether they are from pure frustration or because the truth is starting to hit him like bricks.

“When we were KQ Fellaz, she knew we were trouble, she knew the rumours about us, she knew the danger she was putting herself in every time she stood up for us. When were all broken from the trauma and heart break she never once pressured us to talk about it, she never yelled at us when we yelled at her, she was never scared of us. Don’t tell me you don’t remember every time single fucking time she cleaned the wounds on your hands after getting in countless of unnecessary fights?” Yeosang runs his hands through his hair, frustrated by the sheer ignorance of his friend.

Yunho goes to speak but he gets cut off by Yeosang, who is half fuming half desperate. “She was kind to us without ever expecting anything in return, so stop letting your stupid prejudice against the human race blind you completely from what’s in front of you. If she was like Ryu, she would have let Seonghwa jump off that ledge.”

Yunho feels his heart drop as he remembers the sight of his older friend in such a fragile state, his only option to be to end it, him not being able to help the pain he was enduring.

“Please Yunho,” Yeosang’s voice is soft this time, nothing louder than a whisper, “just give her a chance.”

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