#LIKE YEAH.... THAT'S EXACTLY WHO PAUL IS ACTUALLY

[menlove]

that's bc they are <3

[aerowolf]

the mercs realize it's your bday and you didn't tell anyone because your family doesn't do birthdays

I’m so sorry this is a mess between British and American english. I have an American parent and a Canadian one so it messed me up lolll

if didn't include a Merc you wanted, feel free to request and I'll try and add them :]

includes: Miss Pauling & offense classes

cute platonic, gn!reader

warnings: n/a, this is basically all fluff

You'd rather not make a big deal of it being your birthday, even though it is you were taught that birthdays aren't a big deal and your family never really did them.

You kind of wish someone would care but you feel guilty about that so you choose not to tell anyone about it

The only one of these who actually knows it's your birthday is Miss Pauling, who’s seen your personnel files

Miss Pauling

She knows it's your birthday, and instead of ignoring it she decides to at least discreetly make it a good day for you

She arrives on base for a routine inspection, clipboard in hand, but once she's done with the main thing, instead of leaving, she comes to your room

"I saw that it's your birthday today. I don't know if you celebrate, or anything, but, uh, I thought you'd like a gift. Maybe."

She hands you a box, inside are some candy bars and a plush of a bear

"I know it's not exactly the nicest thing, and I know it's kinda... stereotypical... but, y'know, I thought you'd like something. So, happy birthday. From me.” She’s really shy about it, you get the feeling she didn’t--probably still doesn’t--really get to celebrate birthdays either. 

She offers you a ride on her motorbike, something nice, on the open road--away from this base for a little while. You accept, taking a seat behind her, enjoying the open air--though it is pretty hot out. You guys talk, just enjoying the time.

She smiles at you as you get back. “Happy birthday. You deserve it.”

You thank her and even give her a hug. It’s nice that you got this for once. 

Scout

He has no idea whatsoever that it’s your birthday. He’s interacting with you like usual, teasing you, just hanging out. You’re happy as you talk that day; he’s always good at making you laugh and smile.

At some point he notices that you’re a little down, as much as you may try to hide it, he can tell. You’re his friend, and even though he might act like he doesn’t care sometimes, you know he does. A lot.

You tell yourself you don’t want anything on your birthday, that it’s easier if no one knows, but secretly, you do.

“Hey, what’s up? C’mon, ya know I can tell when something’s wrong.” 

You tell him it’s nothing. 

“You sure? Really? You’re kinda… I dunno, sadder than usual.” After he asks a few times, you finally come out and tell him. You don’t say much. Just “It’s my birthday.”

“No kiddin’? Well, why didn’t ya tell me?” He comes off pretty strong. You feel kind of apologetic for mentioning it, and look away from him. “Aw, hey. Y’know what--it don’t matter. I’m gonna throw you a party like you ain’t never seen, believe me.”

You try to tell him you don’t want a party--well, you do. Maybe. No you don’t. Well, sure. But not a big one. He’s really sweet and enthusiastic about it. “Someone like you deserves a big birthday--but if you don’t want it, dat’s okay. Ya know, we could just hang out, or somethin’. You n’ me, yeah?” 

You tell him you’d like that a lot. You both find a quiet spot in the base where you can just talk. He messes around, too, and pops in a Tom Jones record. 

He’s a little shy, a little embarrassed, but he even sings happy birthday to you. He just seems glad no one can hear him. He doesn’t have a gift handy for you, but he ends up scribbling you a quick doodle of him telling you happy birthday. It’s misspelt, but the drawing is cute, and you keep it. “I hope ya had a good day. I’m just sorry I didn’t know sooner.” You tell him that it wasn’t his fault, how could he have known? 

After all is done, he gives you an awkward hug. You smile and return it.

Soldier

He’s a little crazy so he’s just hanging around base, today he had the idea to strip and cover himself in honey, so everyone has had to convince him to please not do that, and now he’s just moping around, muttering about how anti patriotic this all is.

You sit next to him and mope as well. Unlike him, no one knows the reason you’re moping. To anyone else’s point of view, you’re just comforting him--for whatever weird reason. But he sees that you’re just as sad as him.

“What’s wrong, maggot? Is there someone who needs to see my fists meet their face?”

You tell him no, no one did anything. You’re a little intimidated by him, and you don’t see much reason to tell him anyways. But it’s nice sitting with a friend. 

“If it’s not a person, then… it must be an object! Give it to me and I will destroy it immediately.” He’s being as sweet as he can, you smile and shake your head.

You sit there for a bit, smiling as you watch the other mercs come and go. Today isn’t a bad day, just a little sad. Later, you plan to find some kind of sweet treat to eat alone.

Soldier stands up, at attention, and points at you. “MAGGOT, AS YOUR SUPERIOR AND SENIOR, I ORDER YOU TO TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG!”

With a sad smile and a chuckle you finally tell him.

“Your birthday?” Soldier seems genuinely surprised. He places a hand on his chin and thinks. “We cannot go without celebrating! This is momentous!”

Although you try to protest, he turns to the base, stating to every other merc, “LISTEN UP! IT IS Y/N’S BIRTHDAY AND WE WILL CELEBRATE!” 

He makes it his personal mission to decorate for a party that very evening, even gets a cake and everything. He makes every other merc sing happy birthday with him. Maybe this isn’t so bad.

You give him a big hug, and he is surprised at first, but proceeds to give a gentle laugh and hug back.

Pyro

You see Pyro colouring with crayons and coloured pencils on their break, and you sit by them. You don’t really understand what they’re saying a lot of the time, but you enjoy hanging out with them. It’s a long period of silence before you join them in colouring. Regardless of your artistic skills, they’re impressed and encourage you, and are very happy when you show them what you’ve been working on. 

After a little while you get kind of bored and sad. You’ve tried to enjoy this day but it’s another bittersweet birthday. You’re happy to hang out with Pyro though, even though they don’t know what day it is.

Pyro notices that you’ve stopped colouring with them, and that you’re looking at the ground instead, messing with the cracks in the floor.

“Huddah hrmmf mmmrph?” You don’t understand what they’re saying exactly, but you smile at them. They seem to be asking what’s wrong, why you stopped, why you seem so sad.

You hesitate for a moment before finally confessing. They seem to mostly understand what you mean, and they lean back, thinking. 

After a few seconds, they stand up and help pull you off the floor. They point to their room, and you follow them. It’s an odd combination of scorch marks, colourful drawings, weapons, and art supplies. They lead you to a wardrobe and pull out a box. 

Surprisingly, you can see that it's fully wrapped. Did they somehow know it was your birthday? Do they keep these gifts on hand for the mercs?

You won’t get an answer, but they excitedly push it out and offer it to you. “Huddah hmmph!” They sound almost like they are smiling behind the mask. You take the box and open it. It’s got crayons, pencils, and… wow, that’s a drawing of you and them.

You smile, almost ready to tear up, and thank them. You give them a hug, and you notice that they’re hugging you back even harder. Maybe they don’t really understand, but this is sweet.

[tavolgisvist]

Paul and drums

Our kid was first in a group with John called Quarrymen, and apparently, I’d forgotten the set of drums fell off the back of a lorry, as we say in Liverpool, and landed up in our house. So I was learning drums, and one of the Quarrymen came back and said, ‘I remember you’re coming down the house, and it was great when you played drums for us.’ I said, ‘Did I?’ I’d totally forgotten. But then I realized why I forgot. It’s because I broke my arm in a scout camp, and this hand dropped. It was dead, paralyzed. So it took several years to get it back, and at that time, those drums that I was learning on, first of all, my brother, no wonder the drums on the band on the road are good. That’s where he learned it from my drums. But I couldn’t play anything then. So I’d forgotten that I was even the drummer, and Ringo got the job.

(Mike McCartney)

Mersey Beat Founder and Editor, Bill Harry wrote a guest column for Beatle Fan Magazine in 2019. He stated “For their August 7, 1961 gig, the Litherland Town Hall classified advertisement in the Liverpool Echo carried the message: ‘Hear Pete Best Sing Tonight.’ Best had been talked into performing the song “Pinwheel Twist,” which Paul had written for him to sing. Pete recalled in a conversation with Spencer Leigh: ‘Paul wrote the song and asked me to do it. He coupled it with Joey Dee’s hit “The Peppermint Twist.’ I used to get up and do the twist onstage and Paul played my drums. It was a little novelty act and it went down well with the fans. When The Beatles performed it, Paul took over on drums, George played Paul’s left-handed bass right-handed and Pete sang.”

(Source)

I used to get on Pete’s case a bit. He’d often stay out all night. He got to know a stripper and they were boyfriend and girlfriend. She didn’t finish work until four in the morning, so he’d stay up with her and roll back at about ten in the morning and be going to bed when we were starting work…

(Paul McCartney, Anthology, 2001)

Q: When did you first play drums? A: My first recollection is in Hamburg. You’d get behind the kit to try and show the drummer what you wanted. That gradually grew to messing around on other people’s kits, which were lying around because there were a lot of groups playing in the places we played. You picked up the simplest beats very naturally. I remember one evening when Tony Sheridan’s drummer didn’t show up, so Tony said, “Come on, man, sit in!” I said, “No way! I can’t do this.” And he said, “Yeah, you can.” So I did it and then I was thinking, “Well! I’ve actually done a professional drumming gig!” Later, with The Beatles, there was a period where John, George, and I operated as a trio and picked up little bits of work. I remember playing in an illegal club in somebody’s basement on Upper Parliament Street in Liverpool’s Caribbean Quarter. One day this guy called Lord Woodbine, who ran the club, asked if we’d come in and accompany this stripper called Janine. We said, “Wow! Yeah, man! There’s a job.” He even paid us money. Q: It sounds like you would have paid him for that gig. A: Exactly [laughs]. So she came in and said, “Okay, I need you to play Ravel’s Bolero.” We said, “Oh, gee. Sorry, luv. We don’t read music. But we’ve got ’Raunchy.’ That might do.” I had somebody’s old drum kit, and I sat there with a broomstick between my legs, with a microphone tied to it so I could do a bit of vocals and drum at the same time. It was hilarious.

(Paul McCartney, interview with Robert L. Doerschuk for Drum!Magazine, 2005)

Q: When Ringo joined the band, that must have interrupted your emerging career on drums. A: Yeah, I was completely redundant. We loved Ringo so much. He was our favorite drummer in Liverpool, and when he joined the band, it was an explosion: Every song sounded new and fresh. He could pass what we felt was the true test for drummers, which was to be able to play “What’d I Say” — the cymbal work and the toms.

(Paul McCartney, interview with Robert L. Doerschuk for Drum!Magazine, 2005)

We did do a few little bits and pieces together before we all went our separate ways. John and I and Yoko did ‘The Ballad of John and Yoko’. He enlisted me for that because he knew it was a great way to make a record. ‘We’ll go round to Abbey Road Studios. Who lives near there? Paul. Who’s going to drum on this record? Paul. Who can play bass? Paul. And who’ll do it if I ask him nicely? Paul.’ He wasn’t at all sheepish about asking. He probably said something like, ‘Oh, I’ve got this song I want to record. Would you come round?’ And I probably said, ‘Yeah, why not?’

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021, about Dear Friend)

Steve Miller happened to be there recording, late at night, and he just breezed in. ‘Hey, what’s happening, man? Can I use the studio?’ ‘Yeah!’ I said. ‘Can I drum for you? I just had a fucking unholy argument with the guys there.’ I explained it to him, took ten minutes to get it off my chest. So I did a track, he and I stayed that night and did a track of his called My Dark Hour. I thrashed everything out on the drums. There’s a surfeit of aggressive drum fills, that’s all I can say about that. We stayed up until late. I played bass, guitar and drums and sang backing vocals. It’s actually a pretty good track. It was a very strange time in my life and I swear I got my first grey hairs that month. I saw them appearing. I looked in the mirror, I thought, I can see you. You’re all coming now. Welcome.

(Paul McCartney in Many Years From Now by Barry Miles, 1997)

I really had to ask myself, “Do I want to give up music, or keep going?” I got a four-track Studer recording machine, like the Beatles used for Sgt. Pepper, put it in the corner of the living-room at my house in London and tried a very simple technique of just plugging directly into the back, not going through a mixing desk. It’s a cool way to record because it’s pure. If, say, I was doing a drum track, I’d play the drums, record it with one microphone, listen to it back, move the mike a little if there wasn’t enough hi-hat or cymbal, and then re-record. Then I’d add bass by plugging the mike into track two and overdubbing while listening to track one through headphones. I’d do that with all with four tracks. It was very hands-on, primitive way of working. <…> It was funky, and still sounds good to me.

(Paul McCartney, “Wingspan” documentary, 2001)

We did not see Ringo until the next night when he arrived at the session. He walked in and went straight to his drums…fiddled with them, then fiddled with them some more. “Somebody did something to my snare drum,” he said irritably. “Paul was here last night. He played them,” explained John. “He’s always fucking around with me things!” It sounded as though Ringo were back in Liverpool and all of them were still teenagers and nothing in their lives had changed. I realized then, that no matter what might happen among them, this was the way they would always relate to each other.

(May Pang, Loving John, 1983)

(Krla Beat, pic by lisamarie-vee)

So, I got into my studio in Scotland and started working, doing the drum track. I normally start with the drums. I sometimes use drum machines, but I like to redo it with real drums. I enjoy drumming. Then I put some bass on it. I was just doing an experimental thing. I was messing around and experimenting. Slowing down tapes, or speeding them up.

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021, about Coming Up)

Paul and I were in England, having dinner together [along with our wives]. I told him I was making an EP, and I said, “Why don’t you write me a song?” He wrote the song [Feeling the Sunlight] and put bass on it, he put piano, he put the drums on — and I had to take the drums off. [Laughs.]

(Ringo Starr, interview with Rob Tannenbaum for AARP, Nov 2023)

George was the first one to make a solo album [Wonderwall Music], and I was the drummer. John started the Plastic Ono Band, and I was the drummer. Paul likes to play drums himself, or I would’ve been on his albums too.

(Ringo Starr, interview with Rob Tannenbaum for AARP, Nov 2023)

Q: As strong as you are on bass, keyboards, guitar, and as a singer and writer, is it frustrating to play your drum parts at a more limited level? A: That never intimidates me, though it probably should. I just have so much enthusiasm when I do things that I don’t even consider it. I’m lucky, because some people would wrack themselves with doubt, but when I came to this project I was like, “Man, let’s just have a bit of fun!” It didn’t occur to me that I was some idiot jumping on the kit. I know that a lot of drummers can play rings around me, but as long as I keep it simple and don’t get too flash, I can play with a steady, swampy feel, and that’ll do the job.

(Paul McCartney, interview with Robert L. Doerschuk for Drum!Magazine, 2005)

@i-am-the-oyster, I hope you will enjoy :)

+ this

[leo-fie]

I'm currently beginning my surely lifelong obsession with Terry Pratchett novels, two novels in, halfway through a third. All bangers.

So here's an observation that's probably not new to anyone:

Pratchett is a damn good writer very in conversation with tropes of the genres and his audience. He's ironic without being irony-poisoned.

Example: Monsterous Regiment. Amazing book, enjoyed every second of it. No fat on this one. The story and especially the characters move so fast that I often had to go back an read a page again to follow the train of thought. Pratchett doesn't spend a lot of time explaining how Character A came to Conclusion B, but he leaves enough bits of information that he can lead the reader to the conclusion exactly the moment he wants to. He has to have an extremely good grasp of how people read novels to pull this off. It worked on me and I'm not that attuned to his style yet.

I noticed that Pratchett uses a lot of ironic humour, but it feels different than the irony-poisoning that so plagued the 2000s and 2010s. Nowadays mainstream media has come back around to sincerity a bit, which is great, but Pratchett does both. How? For him, the irony is the starting point.

Monsterous Regiment has a girl disguising herself as a boy to join the military. She does this literally the moment we meet her. No preamble. The usual shenanigans one expects from this type of story are handled soon and serve additional purposes, like introducing the motive of the socks and the mystery of who gave them to Polly. Or the recurring bit about shaving that also does characterisation for Jackrum and Blouse. Etc. The actual plot is about the war. And where a lesser story might have have the climax be the reveal of the protagonist's actual sex, Pratchett does a bunch of interesting things in his climax, including the reveal, but he also ties it in with a dozen other plot threads into an amazing, complicated, messy scene of people talking.

And then again, because he knows where the audience is at, the last two reveals (Paul’s whereabouts and Maladikta) are handled rather quickly, but still appropriately. And for good measure, here’s a bit about Jackrum, in case you were thinking of reading the ending even a little bit less closely.

But Pratchett has been doing this since the beginning. Guards! Guards! Starts with a meeting of a secret society, and quite a lot of fun is made of the silly code phrases and dramatics, which are half the point of a secret society, and about the type of guy who would join. But it’s the beginning of the book, literally the set up. The irony is the starting point.

But it’s not like the ironic bits and the actual story are separated. Rather they work in tandem. In Monsterous Regiment there is so much gender going on, and it is very funny, and it explains the inherently performative nature of gender rather succinctly, but it’s also the cause of the war the brutality of which is present the whole time. It’s socks all the way down.

Also: Pratchett manages to say so much with so little words. The brutality of war stated with nothing but a bunch of guys on the road and a count of their limbs. Holy shit!

Yeah, I get why Pratchett is held in such high esteem. And I’m only reading translations.

[httpiastri]

I'm begging for smut with Paul my man with "teach me" and "is this ok?" maybe it's the first time they get that far and they are both kinda inexperienced and super soft, I'd you can make Reader the one that "teaches" that would be amazing

love your works have a great day 💕💕💕💕💕

thank you for requesting sweets!! esp thanks for requesting paul <3<3 my brainrot is so real. i had so much fun writing this and i rlly got too into it lol. hope u have a great day too!

18+ content below, minors dni!!

the feeling of his lips on yours is familiar. the way he tilts his head as he presses himself harder against you, the way his teeth sink down into your bottom lip, the way he licks into your mouth; it's nothing new, it's yesterday's news, such a comforting feeling.

but it's still never been quite like this before. there's never before been this eagerness, this impatience, this amount of lust. your hips don't usually roll down against his this hard, and he doesn't usually let out these kinds of moans. there's something new in the air, a new type of greediness, and none of you complain.

your knees are settled on either side of his lap, your arms resting on his shoulders as his large hands squeeze the top of your hips, thumbs drawing absent-minded circles into the skin. you're both left in your underwear by now, after an awkward but giggly stripping session, and you're sure the cute floral panties you're wearing have a damp spot already. however, the way paul is poking up at you from under the thin layer of his calvin kleins makes you realize you're not the only one who's pent up. paul's hands make their way up your sides, dipping inside your flowery camisole top, the pads of his fingers swiping along your upper ribs. his touch makes you sigh into the kiss, arms wrapping around his neck to pull yourself further onto his crotch.

you've never gone this far before. sure, you'd seen each other in just your underwear a few times, while getting changed together or when you went swimming together. and you'd made out plenty of times, with his hands all over your body and you gasping for air as he left bitemarks down your neck and along your collarbones. but you'd never gone further than some grinding and kissing, so this was definitely a new feeling.

paul eventually parts from the kiss, leaning back slightly to take in the sight before him. your flushed cheeks, your perked nipples poking through your top, your red and swollen lips. your eyes open and they meet his gaze, a bit questioning as to why he's stopped. his gaze is scanning your face, analyzing your features and looking for even a tiniest hint of uncertainty.

"are you sure about this, sweetheart?" his voice almost cracks when he speaks, too flustered and excited to keep calm.

you're nervous. you aren't exactly the most experienced – far from it, actually – and just the thought of this situation brought you chills whenever the possibility flashed through your mind these last few weeks. thinking about it has been a kind of common occurrence recently, as you figured this was approaching, but your mind never really got accustomed to the idea.

you can tell paul is a bit nervous, too. he's more tense than usual, muscles stiff under your touch and fingers trembling slightly as he holds you. he doesn't have a lot of experience either, and there's something special about being here with the girl he likes so much, in a situation where you're both so exposed and so raw, with so much trust in each other. it makes him tingle in a way he's never felt before.

"yeah, i'm sure," you finally get out, fingers moving to play with the hair on the nape of his neck. "you?"

he gives you a quick nod. then, he leans in to press another kiss to your lips, more gentle than before. when he parts this time, his fingers move down your front, fingers grazing your stomach. "what makes you feel good?" his touch moves down to the lace of your panties, fingers dragging along the edge. "teach me, love."

you take a deep breath, gathering all of the courage you have in your body. just do it, you tell yourself.

and then you reach down to take one of his hands in yours, pushing it into your underwear. you fold his fingers to only leave the pointer and middle out, dragging them back and forth along your wet folds while your eyes flutter closed. you position his fingers on your clit, pressing them down and drawing circles onto your sensitive bud as a you moan lowly.

paul's jaw drops. you've never been this bold around him before, and now he's watching his always oh so innocent girlfriend basically fuck herself on his fingers. he wasn't sure if this day would come, but he is definitely happy about it.

the circles increase in speed and your head is spinning already. you guide one of his fingers to your core, slowly pushing it inside you as a shiver shoots down your spine. you take him all the way down to his knuckles, pulling him in and out of yourself a few times before adding another finger. he stretches you out, and it's painful but also so good, and you never want it to end. after a while, the buildup gets too strong and you lean your forehead onto his shoulder, your grip on his hand easing.

paul takes your helplessness as a sign. this time without your guidance, he continues pumping you with his fingers, adding a third one when he deems you ready for it. "is this okay?" he asks, thumb brushing your clit every once in a while.

"yeah- just-" your breath hitches in your throat as you try to speak and he grins at the sound, so satisfied and content with himself and the way you're reacting to his touch. your hand lets go of him completely, instead coming up to rest around his neck as a string of sweet whines spill past your lips. paul grows uncomfortably hard as he hears you, craving you even more.

and when he pushes you to the top, helping you reach your high, you're left a shaking mess in his embrace. you clench around his fingers and the noises you let out are like music to his ears, ones he could never get tired of. he's still pushing in and out of you to help you ride it out, your hot breath against his skin so sexy to him. paul loves the way you're curled into his chest, with his free arm slung around your body to keep you close as you twitch and shudder occasionally. it makes him feel proud and thankful that you let him do this to you, that you came undone like this to him.

a warm feeling spreads in his chest when you finally lean back, drowsy eyes finding his. you slowly blink up at him, taking in the sweet grin of this godlike man in front of you, and your heart flutters when he presses a kiss to your forehead. "you alright there?" he asks.

"so good." your hand curls in the hair at the back of his neck and you pull him down to you, tasting his lips again. "so good i think we should... you know..."

the chuckle that vibrates from his chest makes you shove his shoulder, but you are not nearly strong enough right now for him to even budge. "i do know." his hands land on your waist and he flips you both over, laying you down on the covers as he climbs on top of you. "are you really sure about this?"

his gaze is genuine and caring, and you get the feeling that he'd be totally alright with stopping here and now if you wanted to. but instead, you nod your head. "for the hundredth time, yes."

he presses his lips to you one final time, mumbling against your lips. "thank you. i love you."

"i love you, too."

[ramblinscramblin]

I know you only have one post rn but hsgagshagaghssgahsh I love how you write😭

Anyways, giving you a request since I'm already here :)

Reader who really likes Scout's whole clumsy way of flirting. He's like "I got a bucket of chicken" and the reader is just "😍😍😍😍". Or he stumbles over his words when flirting and thinks he's made a fool of himself, meanwhile the reader is basically swooning right next to him.

Bonus points if Spy is observing this all and is just like:

→Reader who enjoys Scouts awkward flirting!

Genre: Fluff!

Characters: Scout tehe

THANK U FOR THIS. This is incredibly real, he is so so so silly.

Scout

Scout took immediate interest in you.

He couldn’t place exactly what it was about you that just made you instantly attractive.

But it was because of his immediate interest that made him such a colossal disaster in front of you.

He just cannot stop, making a fool out of himself. Going to great and insane lengths to try and impress you, literally getting blown up on the battlefield to try and show you a cool jump he can do.

You find is so so endearing and funny, you always laugh at his silly attempts at impressing you.

He mistakes this as genuine malicious intent, thinks you’re making fun of him and feels like the world’s biggest idiot.

“Hey Scout,” you greet one day, feeling a little bold.

Scout straightens in an instant, now was his chance to put the moves on you, make or break time scout.

“Oh! H-hey. Yeah, wassup,” he says before sniffling “you wanna see my baseball cards?” He says abruptly, already mentally berating himself.

You chuckle a little, and he deflates feeling like human garbage. You bump his shoulder with your arm “sure. That sounds fun,” you say with a smile.

He immediately perks up, shows you his nerdy card collection for way too long. Worries the whole time that you think it’s dumb, really cannot tell if you’re making fun of him.

Spy really does not help his anxiety, makes fun of his attempts extremely outwardly, really confused on why you keep coming around…

After watching a few more of your interactions he is appalled to find out that you actually like him back.

Does not let Scout in on this realization.

Him watching you full send the most intense signals to Scout that you’re interested and it’s just soaring over his head causes him physical pain.

“Hey Scout, I was wondering if you wanted to show me your baseball card collection again?” You asked one day, Spy secretly watching from a nearby corner.

“You wanna see it again? I haven’t got anymore,” he says.

You shrug “oh? That’s a shame, I was looking forward to having you all to myself today,” you simper leaning into him.

He’s already told himself that you’re so not interested (plus he’s got a complex from how hard he was rejected from Pauling) so he hardly even flinches “oh well. Next them ‘den I’ll have sumthin’ new to show.”

Spy face palms, mumbling about how dumb he is as he sneaks away.

You find it really endearing though, total heart eyes over this dumbass.

Eventually when you finally stop torturing him and tell him how you feel he’s so flustered and surprised, like: you actually liked how much of an idiot I was? Cannot believe it.

Rubs it in Spies face so hard.

“Look at this hottie I bagged by bein’ a total dumbass. Hah! I win!” He proclaimed loudly.

No because I’m tweaking I love him so much. Anyways thank u so much for the request I took some creative liberties but obviously I had a lot of fun with this one haha!

[dev-solovey]

Reading up on the history of American Idiot (album) and realizing exactly how revolutionary it was and I just have to yell about it for a hot second

So, before they started working on American Idiot, the band was having problems and they were thinking they were going to break up. But for a couple of reasons, they switched directions, most notably because they all felt strongly about the Iraq War and how it was manufactured by greed and warmongering from the Bush administration, which was amplified by the news media. I read a quote from Billie Joe Armstrong where he talked about how the news media was becoming "more of a reality show" than it was news, and he couldn't have been more right. In fact, that problem got worse, and now we're living in an era of rampant misinformation where everything is politicized to a point where just supporting human rights for marginalized people is considered controversial. The song American Idiot came out in 2004, and when Donald Trump first visited the UK at the beginning of his presidency, it was the top played song on every UK radio station, 12 years after it was released. Most things would be culturally irrelevant at that point.

When creating the album American Idiot, a lot of thought went into it - they had a very specific message in mind, and their goal was to send that message to youth. This is because they realized at some point that their fanbase was a bunch of teenagers, and even though they hadn't necessarily intended it that way, they suddenly had a platform with the youth of America and they decided they ought to do something good with it. The drummer, Tré Cool, said something along the lines of "I've never really liked the idea of preaching to kids, but I realized we don't really have a choice at this point." And I love that so much because like, so many people who get rich and famous just become completely out of touch, and when they get a platform, it's very easy to exploit that platform, influence them with terrible ideas, or encourage them to act in terrible ways for self-serving reasons (ex: JK Rowling, Andrew Tate, Dream, Logan Paul, Onision, etc etc). Green Day refused to allow themselves to get to that point. They know the platform they had gave them power and they made an active choice early on to be responsible with it. And a lot of that moral code comes from the fact that they came up in the DIY punk scene in Oakland, which held its members to a very high standard of ethics, a code that they still follow even after they were disowned by that scene when they signed on with a major record label in 1994.

The song American Idiot has a message of "this mass media hysteria is manufactured bullshit, don't fall for it," and it is not subtle about that message. It punches you right in the face. I remember being 12 years old and listening to it and thinking, "yeah, I don't want to be an American idiot." And now, at the age of 28, I am a staunch leftist who is firmly against the atrocities the US government commits, and I feel strongly about stopping misinformation. So I can say with absolute certainty that they succeeded.

I also get like, really upset when people say that American Idiot is the album where they sold out, because that's objectively not true, both for the reasons I've provided above, and also because of the song Wake Me Up When September Ends. Not a lot of people know the story behind this song, but it's actually a song that Billie Joe wrote about the experience of his dad dying of cancer when he was 10 years old. The story, as he tells it, is that when he came home from school, his mom gave him the news, and being (understandably!) upset, started crying, ran to his room and slammed the door. When she knocked on the door to try and talk to him, he shouted "wake me up when September ends!!" in response. It took him decades to be able to write this song, and it shows because it's the perfect grief song, having been played at benefits for 9/11, hurricane Katrina, and so on. The first time I heard that song it reduced me to tears, because you can hear the intense sadness in it. A "sellout" would never write a song like that!! (Side note: maybe stop tweeting at Green Day to wake up every October 1st, it's super tone deaf given the subject matter,,,)

Anyway, I think I'm done being autistic about Green Day (that's a lie, they'll forever be my special interest), so TL;DR:

Thank you, Green Day, for creating a generation of leftists who aren't about the bullshit

[gardenschedule]

Beatles defending each other ❤️

In 1965 [the Byrds] toured England and Paul invited us to his club, the Scotch of St James’s [sic]. He sent a limo to pick us up. He said he had been listening to our music. We were blown away. He took us for a ride through London in his Aston Martin, at great speed. He was really hip, he and John were so tight it was like one person at times. Unlike the Byrds, [where] Crosby would just leave you out to dry, the Beatles all defended each other to the hilt. If you criticised, say, George then they would all respond.

Roger McGuinn, in Paul McCartney: Now & Then, Tony Barrow and Robin Bextor

“They’re four very different people who together form a unit that is virtually impregnable. If, for instance, someone should find fault with anything one of them has done, the others rush to his defence. They close their ranks. They’re very close indeed. A lot closer than people think.”

George Martin, Disc and Music Echo (1967)

And actually, we’ve got the image of him all these years about criticising Paul – yeah, he did, but it’s like [when] you criticise your wife. “I can criticise her, but you can’t.” I was there once when some guy was saying that he didn’t think ‘Let It Be’ was such a great record, and he thought John would agree, and he didn’t.

November 10th, 2009: Journalist Ray Connolly

Q: How did Paul react [to “How Do You Sleep”]?

John: I don’t know because I never saw him, but I think he made a comment last year which was pretty spot-on which was ‘whatever I’m saying about him is my problem, or vice versa.’ The only regret I have about it is that it should never have been about Paul because everybody’s so bothered with who’s it about that they missed the track. That’s what bugged me. I’m entitled to call him what I want to, and vice versa. It’s in our family, but if somebody else calls him names I won’t take it. It’s our own business. And anyway, it’s like Dylan said about his stuff when he looked back on it, it was all about him.

Patrick Synder-Scrumpy with Jack Breschard, “Sometime in L.A., Lennon Plays It as It Lays.” Crawdaddy [March 1974]

"When John did 'How Do You Sleep?' I didn't want to get into a slinging match. Part of it was cowardice. John was a great wit, and I didn't want to go fencing with the rapier champion of East Cheam-- But it meant that I had to take shit--It meant that I had to take lines like 'All you ever did was Yesterday.' I always find myself wanting to excuse John's behavior, just because I loved him. It's like a child, sure he was a naughty child, but don't you call my child naughty. Even if it's me he's shitting on, don't you call him naughty. That's how I felt about this and still do. I don't have a grudge whatsoever against John. I think he knew exactly what he was doing, and, because we had been so intimate, he knew what would hurt me and used it to great effect. I thought, 'Keep your head down and time will tell,' and it did because in the 'Imagine' film (Imagine John Lennon, documentary), he says it was really all about himself."

Barry Miles, Many Years From Now, 1997

“Well the deal was, he could say that, but if you said that, if anybody said anything bad about Paul, John’d take a swing at you. He’d say “you can’t talk about Paul like that”, Paul was his best buddy. If you were talking to Paul and you said something derogatory about John, he’d get up and leave. Paul was more of a peaceful guy, but John had that hot head, and he’d say “you wanna talk about Paul? Let’s go”. You weren’t allowed to say anything bad about John or Paul to each one of them because they would defend each other to the nth degree, which I liked, because you could tell they were attached at the hip.

Alice Cooper Live and Uncut on the Kim Mitchell Show

You know, John loved Paul. No doubt about it. I remember once he said to me, “I’m the only person who’s allowed to say things like that about Paul. I don’t like it when other people do.” He didn’t like if other people said nasty things about Paul. And he always referred to Paul as his estranged fiancé and things like that, like he did on that [live] record ‘I Saw Her Standing There’ with Elton in Madison Square Garden. And he knew that his relationship with Paul was very important to him. But you know, like all great friendships, they’d grown apart and married different people and had different lives. He knew what he didn’t like about Paul, but he also knew what he liked about Paul.

1990: Former Beatles publicist Tony King

George didn’t mind slagging Paul off. But he HATED other people doing it.

Tom Petty

When I talk about George, sometimes I feel like I’m making him sound too much like he was a saint. By no means was the man a saint! Over the years with him and John, they could both be really brutal with Paul. I learned very early on that I couldn’t join them. They both on different occasions said, “We can say that, but you shouldn’t.” They were truly brothers who loved taking the piss out of each other, but they didn’t want anybody else doing it.

Jim Keltner on George Harrison

[thatbitchery]

Just in case you needed a guide to human relationships & interactions and how to actually relate to people I have one for you, & it's made of 3 parts.

People are different from you. There's literally not one human being out there exactly like you, you could have an identical twin with the same parents same childhood &c and I promise you you're nothing alike. You've lived such different lives despite 75% similarity in DNA. Understanding that people form their opinions belief systems worldview & c on individual experiences based on their trauma, family dynamics, cultures, home value systems, literally climate etc and we are all different will save you from easily getting triggered when someone doesn't share your opinion bc you're not in their shoes you don't know why they have/that/ opinion so you have no grounds to go feral. People are different from you. Understand this & save yourself the embarrassment of pointless arguments & little virtue locks because you cannot fathom different opinions when it's literally the one single truth. Understand this sk you're not going to war with people on the reblogs for not having the same pov. Yours makes sense to you. Theirs makes sense to, them. Who are you to decide whose is the absolute truth?

You are not a God get off your little high horse you're a human being. People do not owe you worship or discipleship. They don't have to believe everything you say or buy into you. Well within their rights to look at what you say or do and say yeah that's a load of bullshit. You're not a God so you're not always right, remember this the next time you're about to lay your life on the ground over an opinion, you could be wrong. Nothing will hurt you more than that thewizardliz my way or no way mindset. Remember the things you used to defend with your life when you were like 10 that you're rn absolutely disgusted by? Leave space & never speak in absolutes & never degrade another's opinion to the ground, you could be wrong & it will be very very very embarrassing for you when you find out you were.

Everyone is right, all the time. There is no absolute in this universe. Unlearn debates they're mighty pointless, everyone is right every single time. Truth is very subjective so the girl that has been traumatized by M3n saying all m3n deserve d3ath is right, if you were her you'd say the same thing and the v3gan is right & the carnivore is right & the conservative is right & the liberal is right- because everyone is right all the time and I promise if you were in their shoes, you'd see it. You'd see it. Even when someone Says the dumbest stuff known to existence, from where they are standing, they're right. Debates are pointless. Extremely. You can not fathom the kind of life others have had, not even your siblings or children- what then gives you the confidence to decide what should be right to them? Know your place.

So human interactions work better when you understand these, they just do. Once you no longer feel the need to justify your pov because you know you're literally the only one with it it's just makes things, easier thats why the apostle Paul said to never argue with people about opinions, its useless & tempts them and you to sin. It makes you more understanding & empathetic & pleasant & sophisticated to be around, it's the winners draw. You unlearn the need to argue because you know they'll never see it like you and you'll never see it like them so you take the high road and find middle ground or nod along and go home or find a way to say I don't agree, but I can accommodate that you think like that, and watch how people completely flock to you. There's no power , at all, to 'my way or no way' find your own little planet & leave that thewizardliz mindset on YouTube. Human beings are social relational creatures, part of relationships is accommodation.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 22

@javelinbk I’ve got another one for your “Paul McCartney doesn’t touch other men” compilation.

They’re really just going to keep goofing off with each other until the bitter end, aren’t they?

Who is this?? She’s gorgeous and I’m obsessed with her eye makeup.

I wonder if there’s a *reason* John broke randomly into “Run for your Life”. I’d actually feel better about that song if it was secretly about Paul, though I'd never considered it.

That face!

I’d actually love to know what Ringo and Billy were talking about that prompted that hug, though! I’m sure it must’ve been just so cute!

John saying “Okay Jim” to Paul. Reminds me  of that quarrymen story where John called Paul that. Such an awkward nick-name, considering John hated Jim. Like I know Paul’s first name is James and all, but it’s just weird. I wonder if he called him that often and why and how Paul felt about it.

It’s physically impossible for two people to actually love each other that much and break up. I just. It’s not real. I can’t process it. 

The fact that Paul wore a suit again, though, and plays standing. An example of Paul doing what makes him feel good whether it’s cool or not. He feels professional and put together in a suit and standing for the “performance” of these softer songs, so that’s what he’s going to do. I guess Ringo’s in a suit too, and tie. I just didn’t catch it at first because his tie and shirt are such a fun purple. 

John focused on Paul for the entire song of “Two of Us” and Paul very purposely avoiding eye-contact. It’s like a much less painful, but still awful, reverse version of the strawberry fields moment. 

The silly fake German. Paul’s “Ein Schwein, fille naught rhine.” Reminds me of John’s “Un. Du. Ein schwein hickle pickle” in front of “I Don’t Wanna Face It” which also used a very similar riff to “coming up”. IDK they’re just always talking. Always logging away every little eyelash flutter. Every meaningless thing means something with John and Paul. I know. I realize I’m fully certifiable. 

“Are we supposed to giggle in the solo?” “Yeah.” 

Paul’s just purposely ruined what’s probably like the five-hundredth take of Let it Be with his drunk uncle voice, and this is George. No matter how much he might want to stay annoyed at them, he never can. 

I wonder when exactly John goes from “I think that was rather grand. I’d take one home with me.” on Let it Be to, “Yeah, he was just trying to write another bridge over troubled water. Could’ve been Wings.” When exactly did the meaning (dead mom says not to fight for your relationships) sink in that made him hate the song?

I love that we end on Paul saying, “we’ll do one more.” I love that there’s never a tied-up, clean-cut ending for the Beatles. There’s always a “Her Majesty” tacked on after “The End” to leave room to continue on. 

[feyd-meowtha]

So I saw Dune 2 the other day and obviously I loved it but I have so many thoughts on why the look and characterisations of the Harkonnens (and especially Feyd) actually took a lot of the complexity and interest out of the characters and the house in general.

Like I've been saying it since the first film but the decision to make them so bald and monochrome and almost alien looking really undermines the eventual point (which they do stress in the second movie) that the Atreides and the Harkonnens are the same family. There is no house Harkonnen Vs house Atreides really because they're all related and doing essentially exactly the same thing as one another (with an 'honourable' coat of paint on the part of the Atreides.)

Having the harkonnens be so visually distinct and inhuman looking muddies that point a whole lot. Like in the book Jessica, the baron and alia all share the visual tell of that copper hair and that link is so much visually weaker in the movies.

I totally understand why they did it, it's already complicated enough for the viewers to keep track of the houses and characters and the bleak harkonnens aesthetic makes that easier. Don't get me wrong, there are aspects of the look that I really like and I think it would have been great to incorporate some of that dark, brutalist aesthetic without going quite so far to dehumanise them. But yeah.

And that's without even mentioning the changes to Feyd Rauthas character that, for me, really go against the whole point of his being a foil to Paul. In the new movies theyve seemingly gone in for him being the anti-paul in that he is totally amoral and viscerally cruel and ambitious but in the books I always saw it much more as him being very similar to Paul, his fate just being what would have happened to Paul if he was put in the same position. They've both been bred for the same date, but Paul was raised by a loving family while Feyd was taken from his (more on the parents thing being changed in another post) and cared for by a pedophile, a sadist and a brother who hates him and killed his parents. That'll fuck you up for sure, and is a much more interesting point of comparison that just making him a 'sociopath'. I will explain all of this better in another post maybe.

I just feel like it was a missed opportunity to present another side of the 'young person pushed into fucked up role' thing that was flattened a lot by the edgy psychopath angle they went for. And that's without removing the poison angle from his character and making his driving motivation honour which could not be further from the truth.

Gonna have to write some fuckin fic to straighten this out that's for sure.

[menlove]

Honestly so confused of Paul's silly love songs. Apparently Paul was sending a message to John and telling him 'i love you' but he also says 'she gave me more she gave me all to me' and then again Linda says 'he gave me more he gave me all to me'. Like, wtf really??? Is he trying to tell John he loves him but Linda gave him more?

well my thing is I Don't think his message to john with "silly love songs" was telling him he loves him honestly! the song Is a message to john, and his other critics, as said by paul himself, but honestly it's a LOT bitchier to john than any of us give him credit for lol

here's what he said about it:

"There were accusations in the mid-1970s – including one from John – that I was just writing ‘silly love songs’. I suppose the idea was that I should be a bit tougher, a bit more worldly. But then I suddenly realised, that’s exactly what love is – it’s worldly. ‘Some people want to fill the world/With silly love songs’. I’d been given that reputation, and I had to stand up for it. Instead of abandoning songs about love, just get on with it, get into it and don’t be embarrassed, because even thought you might say this is a soppy subject, it’s actually the opposite: this thing people can feel for each other that makes life better. I think that’s the crux of it, and if you want to be cynical, it’s easy, you can. ‘Love doesn’t come in a minute/Sometimes it doesn’t come at all’. I think a lot of people who are cynical about love haven’t been lucky enough to feel it."

which 💀 so not only was john the one to call his music "silly love songs" which makes this veeeery directed to him, but paul is uh. also saying he hasn't been "lucky enough" to even feel love 😭

and his ire towards this comment from john can also be seen in his commentary on "I will", funnily enough, which is just one of the reasons I do think that song is about john:

"It’s a declaration of love, yes, but not always to someone specific. Unless it’s to a person out there who’s listening to the song. And they have to be ready for it. It’s almost definitely not going to be a person who’s said, ‘There he goes again, writing another of those silly love songs.’ So, this is me in my troubadour more."

but uuuh yeah essentially My Interpretation is that john mocked his music by calling it "silly love songs" (& paul has mentioned this being a comment from him more than once but since it's not recorded anywhere I'm pretty sure it must've been in a private convo which is 💀) which Especially struck a chord considering paul wrote plenty of love songs For john like "I will" (imo) and paul wrote a very tongue in cheek Overly Soppy Optimistic Song about it.

like he's just saying "so, john, you think all I do is write silly love songs? well first of all my wife loves me more than you ever could have and also love makes everything go round and we all need more love songs, something your bitter and lonely self wouldn't understand 🫶"

I think yk. paul himself has sort of curated this image that john was the main instigator of their shit flinging in the 70s, but the thing is john is NOT a subtle person. he was slagging paul off by name in interviews and writing "how do you sleep?" and not hiding how much he resented him for a bit. paul, on the other hand, is waaaay more vague and sneaky about it lmao. he's even Said him and john wrote way more songs to/about each other in the 70s than they've admitted to. so I think there were a Lot more jabs that he KNEW only john would get were about him. I mean, john knew him better than anyone and they had their own inside language so what better way to get back at him than making him look batshit insane when he would claim some song was about him 😭 and I do genuinely think "silly love songs" is another one of paul's Cunty John Songs

[emlovslennon]

me when i actually feel motivated to write again😃😃BUT YEAAAAH HERES SOME MORE SIN FOR YOU GUYS YOURE WELCOME!!

Era: 1964

-

You and John were at the opening for his new book “In His Own Write”, you were over the moon excited for him, but, problem was, he was hardly paying attention to you. He was laughing it up with Paul and whoever else was there with him, George obviously noticed something was up when he tapped you on your arm, which made you jump.

“Hey, y/n, you doing alright?” He asked, genuine concern painted on his face. You couldn’t help but feel gratitude that you had someone like George in your life, he was a great friend and always knew how to comfort you, even when John didn’t.

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine, I guess I just feel quite bare sitting here with no one to talk to.” You said, turning to look at John, who wouldn’t even bother to look and see if you’re even still here.

“Well, I’m here, and so is Pattie, if you wanna talk and come over to us.” He offered, Pattie giving you a very warm smile and hand shake. Pattie’s beauty always baffled you, you have never seen somebody so naturally gorgeous as her, it made you feel quite insecure, really. But you obviously knew that wasn’t on her, might be more on John, actually, he’d always talk about blonde bombshells like Bridget Bardot or very dark feminine women like Sophia Loren, it always made you feel less than.

“Goodness, y/n, you look absolutely marvelous! He doesn’t know what he’s missing, I can tell you that for sure.” Pattie said, you decided to wear your favorite black, lace dress with a black shaw to match, you did feel iffy about knowing how tight it was, but you couldn’t help but feel pretty, that on top of the beautiful sparkling, white, necklace you had on as well John had bought you for your second wedding anniversary gift. If only he actually would pay attention to you, it’d be nice.

“I just don’t understand why he’s not even acknowledging me, as soon as we got here he went right over to Paul, letting go of my hand in an instant.” You said, trying not to let this ruin your night. You understood that it was ‘his’ night per say, but you at least deserved some sort of acknowledgment, right?

“Oh, y/n, I know just the trick. This worked perfectly the last time I did it with an ex of mine, just simply, do the same. Enjoy your night and don’t even bother with him, this is your night just as much as his.” Pattie said cheerfully, she always was the one to give the best pep talks. And just that you did, spending the rest of the party talking and hanging out with George and Pattie, and occasionally Ringo and Maureen.

And then, the after party came along, it had to have been around 12:00 or more in the morning, but nobody was letting up. You and Pattie decided to have a few drinks and start dancing to, surprisingly, your husbands music. “Twist and Shout” started to blare and you and Pattie started to do exactly that, dancing the night away. George and Pattie were dancing together gleefully and getting you involved whenever they could. That was, until Paul walked over to you, him and Jane were on a “break” so he said. So he all by himself, explains why he was with John and Brian basically the whole night.

“Hey, love! Where have you been? Me and John have been looking everywhere for you!” He said, practically yelling over the loud music.

“Oh, I was with George and Pattie, what’s wrong?” You said, John coming up behind Paul shortly after.

“Nothin-“ Paul was quickly shut down by John as he pulled you into a tight embrace.

“Fuck, love, you had me so worried, I thought you left without me, come on, we’re going home.” He said, as you basically pushed through a crowd of people and got into your car.

“John, why are we leaving? What is wrong?” You asked, John didn’t say a word. One hand was on the wheel, the other was clutched to your thigh. You had absolutely no idea what his deal was.

“John, if I made you mad I’m sorry but it just felt like you weren’t paying att-“

“As soon as we get inside that house I want you upstairs and ready for me. I couldn’t be around you because of that fucking dress, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. Go on, now.” He demanded. You made sure as soon as he parked into the driveway you ran inside the house and went into your shared bedroom, quickly taking off your shaw and dress, along with your Mary Jane heels. You then made your way to your white, satin bed and slowly got underneath the sheets, waiting for him. Your heart race increased in anticipation as you heard him up the stairs, and heard the bedroom door open. And there stood John, his blazer gone to god knows where and his white button up unbuttoned. You couldn’t have asked for a better sight, if you’re gonna be honest, this is probably the best way to be repaid after being ignored the entire night.

“Come on, now, don’t start hiding from me.” He said as he quickly ripped the covers off your body, being completely exposed.

“There’s my pretty girl.” He cooed, making you blush. He was always a sweetheart when he wanted to be.

“John, I-“ you began to speak, but your mouth shut out of complete embarrassment. You were extremely nervous when it came to asking for what you want in bed.

“Hm? What was that, doll? You want something? What do you want, hm?” He teased, his fingers caressing your thighs, you knew you had to just let it out, but it was so hard for you and never understood why.

“I-um, I want you to turn me around this time.” You whispered, John gave a devious grin and took no time flipping you over, getting you on your hands and knees.

“Like this, birdie? You want me to be a little rough with you, dolly? Huh?” He said as he gave a harsh slap to your ass, making you gasp and jump in surprise. John giggled darkly at your reaction and began to un-do his pants, until he was completely naked.

“I’ve thought about you like this, y/n. You being all obedient for me, I love it. You’re such a good girl for me, a fucking dirty girl too.” He was such a good dirty talker, it made you begin to whimper and try to get any kind of friction you could get. John started to get the memo and didn’t even spend time to get you prepared by any sort of foreplay and just began to thrust himself inside you, not giving no time to adjust.

“AH, John!” You screamed as he pounded into you, his hand immediately coming to yank at your hair.

“Fuck, you’re so good for me, cunts so fucking tight for me.” He grunted, his voice deeper then ever. It turned you on like never before, how just an hour ago you were being completely neglected by him and now, here you are, getting pounded into the mattress by your husband. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t worth it.

“J-john, w-wait! Slow down!” You cried out, John immediately stopped and pulled out.

“What, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He panted, you shook your head and turned to lay on your back.

“I guess I just missed seeing your face.” You said, out of breath and voice strained from moaning and yelling.

“Ahh, atta girl.” He replied as he pulled you into a deep, passionate kiss as he thrusts back into, slower this time, just in case.

“You’re so beautiful, y/n, can’t imagine life without you.” He praised, as he kissed your face and neck, you smiled as you sighed happily, but not before turning into soft moans as he began to slowly pick up his pace.

“John, f-faster, I want to go faster, please.” You moaned out as John began to go harder, the obscene noises coming from your core filling the room.

“I love the sounds you make, christ, all fucking mine.” He groans, going as fast as he can at this point. Sweat is beginning to form on his forehead and body, same with you, as you continued to moan and cry out for him.

“John, I-I-“ you screamed out as you came all over him without warning, John just gave you a heartfelt smile and kissed your forehead.

“Fuck, I’m so close, I’m gonna fucking cum.” He moans out, you felt so overstimulated but you just couldn’t complain as long as you were making him feel good.

After about two more thrusts, he comes inside of you with a loud groan. He pulls out slowly and goes to grab towels for you to clean you up.

“There you are.” He chuckles as puts the towels in the wash and comes back to lay down with you as you slowly return to reality.

“John, I love you. But, do you promise you love me just as much as I love you?” You whisper, John kisses your lips and head in response.

“Y/n, I can promise you I have never loved anyone as much as I love you, it’ll stay that away. I can promise you that. I love you.” He assures, that was all you needed to drift you off into a deep, loving sleep.

-

OKAYYYY WOOOOO THERES A LONG ONE FOR ONCE WHOOP WHOOP I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED I HAD FUN WRITING THIS ONE I HOPE MY “SPICE” HAS IMPROVED!!!

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

10 & 11 with Paul please?

10. So apparently we have a vampire in the attic?

11. "I am not going to rob a hospital so you can drink blood."

--------------------------

With a sigh, I closed the trunk, carrying the final box inside the house my best friend and I just bought. It had been an absolute steal - an old wooden house that was well taken care of for only a hundred thousand dollars. Amy and I had found it rather suspicious that a house this big would go for such little money, but miss Emerson had assured us that she wanted to sell it to some folks who would love the house as much as she once did.

So, knowing we had to move to be able to work around Santa Carla - Amy in the hospital and me at a dispatch centre - we decided to just take the deal. It was good. The place was awesome. We had enough space to live together, but we could also definitely have our own spaces.

"Was that it?" Amy asked as she stood in the kitchen, unpacking some of the supplies we'd brought along. I chuckled as I saw an "old fart" sign inside the fridge as she opened it.

"Yeah. I'm putting it upstairs, we can decide on rooms later. Is it okay if we do take out tonight?"

Amy nodded, handing me a leaflet - but as she realised I couldn't exactly take it from her, she put it on top of the box I was holding. As I walked upstairs, I couldn't help but feel that this was exactly right. No more big city drama, no more crazy things happening at the job. Just an easy live, in a calm and quiet town.

After calling the local pizza parlour for our order, Amy and I spent the rest of the night unpacking. We had decided on rooms, her taking the bigger one since her shifts were irregular, and she would need to wake up earlier - or come back later. That way, she could do so without worrying about the noise. Besides, the room I'd picked was nice as well. It had a walk-in closet of sorts and a big spacious window looking out on the grassland outside.

The next two days we spent like that, unpacking, decorating, organising - and in those two days the house began to feel like a home. I smiled as Amy left to go to work, enjoying the fact I'd have the house to myself that evening. Yesterday, we found the attic, and I had been planning on getting all our Christmas decorations and other stuff up there.

There weren't many boxes that had to go up there, but it took me a while to get them there. When I got up the attic with the last box, I tripped over some loose planks, stumbled forward and was about to drop the box when-

"Here, let me take that from you."

I screamed as a guy took the box from my hands, pushing me back into balance.

"Who the fuck are you?!"

"I live here."

"Who are you?!" I had grabbed an old, plastic Christmas topper and held it in my hand as if it were a knife. It was a pathetic weapon, but it was all I had at the moment. The guy was blocking the exit.

"I'm Paul."

"Okay, Paul," I said his name, not sure if it truly belonged to him, "I need you to get out of my attic."

"Eh- yeah, I can't do that."

"And why not?"

"Did Lucy give you the house papers?"

"Miss Emerson? Yeah, she did. Why?"

"You got the house. Not the attic."

"Then why weren't you downstairs in the past three days, hm? What, you're just creeping up here watching us sleep or something?"

He laughed - he actually laughed at what I had just said. "Why would I do that? Sleeping humans are lame, you know that!"

"Humans?"

"Yeah, it's what you are, right?"

"And you're not?" I asked him, even though I absolutely wondered how ridiculous this conversation would get. Surely he was just as much human as I was?

"No."

Shit.

"Then what are you?"

"Vampire."

Double shit. I looked at him, at the Christmas topper in my hand, and I shook my head.

"Listen, I don't know what you're on, but I'd advise you to get clean, alright? I'll look through the papers, and if what you're saying is right, the attick is yours. You're not invited into the rest of the house."

I didn't know if vampires worked that way, but if he truly was a vampire, not inviting him seemed like a good idea, right?

"There's no reason to be scared." He said as he saw me walk towards the wooden steps. He had moved aside, standing in a beam of light coming from outside.

"We just bought a house with a strange guy living in the attic. Excuse me if I am not totally relaxed right now."

"You know my name, and what I am. I mean, if you want me to not be a strange guy you could get to know me."

"No."

I was halfway down the steps.

"I don't even know your name!" He called after me, but I ignored him, looking for the papers he'd mentioned. I found them in the kitchen drawer, and sear he'd through them to find anything about the attic.

The attic belongs to Mr. Paul, who has chosen not to use a last name. He is allowed to live in the attic as long as he meets the following conditions:

1. He promises not to harm any of the living staying in this house.

2. He won't bring any of his victims in or near the house.

3. Nor will he clean up evidence of his feedings inside the house.

4. If present or future residents ask him to leave the attic, he can only do so if they have provided him with another sun-free location.

Mr. Paul has proven himself to be a vampire but has agreed to the terms and conditions in this contract in order to heal from his injuries sustained in an accident back in 1987.

I sighed as I dropped the papers. These were legal. Fucking legal papers talking about a vampire? Living in our - I picked up the phone and dialed Amy.

"What's up?"

"So apparently we have a vampire in the attic?"

"What?!"

"Yes. Exactly."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah? I mean, he didn't hurt me or anything but-"

"Is he for real? Like - vampires?"

"I don't know? The papers say so."

"What papers?" Amy asked.

"The contract, you know, the ones we signed to buy this place."

"Shit, I knew we should gave read through them."

"Yeah," I sighed. "But we can't evict him, and by law he's bound by rules like not to kill us or to bring kills home or evidence of kills..."

"But if what he's saying is true, we're living with a vampire?"

"Yeah."

"Alright," Amy sounded a little light-headed, "I think I'm going to hang up and faint for a bit, alright?"

"Amy? Amy?!" But I got no response. I hung up the phone, and decided to go back upstairs. If he really was a vampire, I needed proof. Also, if he really was a vampire living with two humans, I needed to know more about him.

"So, I found the papers."

"Good!" Paul sat on the ground, a joint in his hand. "So, whats up?"

"I need proof."

"What more do you need? Those papers are-"

"Not about you owning the attic, but about the whole vampire thing." I looked at him. "It sounds far fetched."

He grinned, and within seconds his kind - what? - face had turned demonic. His face had sharpened, his eyes turned an orange so bright it seemed to glow, his teeth razor sharp.

"Shit."

"You've got nothing to worry about!" He grinned as he morphed back. "I have made a vow to not hurt any living being in this house."

"But if you're hungry and we are outside?"

"Depends on the kind of roommates you are."

I paled, realising that if he was serious, this could also be a very serious problem.

"So, ehm, if we were to stay here, you know - and live with you - is there anything we need to be aware of?"

"I've got all I need up here, basically. But, if you want to be kind, I could do with some bloodbags."

"And how would I get those?" I mean, of course I knew how to get them, but no way would I ever do that.

"Just rob the hospital."

"I am not going to rob a hospital so you can drink blood."

"You could ask your friend, she works there, right?"

"I'm not asking Amy to steal blood for you!"

With a pout, he looked at me. "Then you leave me no choice but to eat you."

"I know where you sleep. I will fucking stake you if you even think about it."

"I was kidding!" He said quickly - too quickly if you asked me. Suddenly it clicked.

"Wait, you - someone staked you?"

He shook his head. "No, my best friend. He died before my eyes."

"Sorry."

He sighed. "We wanted revenge, you know. Eye for an eye, and that kind of thing. Dwayne got electrocuted. He burned up the minute that arrow hit him. David survived initially, not being staked through the heart, but when the Emersons found out, they laid him out in the sun to burn."

"How did you survive?" I asked quietly.

"I didn't. A dog pushed me into a tub with holy water, and I practically exploded. There were pieces of me everywhere. Lucy was the one to clean everything up, and as she had a bucket filled with pieces of me, she accidentally cut herself. Her blood started to heal me. Little by little, she fed me some blood, and after almost a year, I was back to my old self. She kept me here so the sun wouldn't get to me, and her sons wouldn't find out."

"You're welcome to stay here," I said softly. "And if you promise not to bite either me or Amy, you're also welcome to hang out downstairs if you want."

He has a soft smile on his face.

"We won't do any blood deliveries, but I am willing to cook for three."

"Deal."

I smiled, taking his outstretched hand. "Well then, nice to meet you, Paul."

[ashethecoolperson]

🫶 requuuueeeesssssttttt : jealous dom x reader (honestly in any scenario) but picturing him jealous is so 😭🤭 (ur writing is soo good ik whatever u cook up will be 🤌)

Jealous

A/N: i love jealous dom hndhsjhsskb

Dom, hurry up! We’ll be late!” You yelled from the living room, still waiting for him to get ready after an hour. You guys had to go to a business party and you weren’t trying to be late. But you thought that Dom was purposely trying to be late.

As you groaned and went upstairs, you opened the door and saw Dom with a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair still wet from what seemed like a shower. You were lost for words as you swallowed nervously and kept looking at him.

God he looked hot.

“You almost ready?” You finally asked after what seemed like hours, and he nodded. “Almost, mi amor. Just lost my suit.”

You smiled slightly as he continued putting on clothes. “You know, we need to leave soon.” You said softly, watching him get dressed, trying not to stare too much at him. But Dom noticed anyway.

He stopped, turned, and looked at you, raising an eyebrow. You tried not to blush at his stare. “Whatcha looking at?” He asked teasingly as you rolled your eyes. “Nothing. Now hurry up, we’ll be late.” You said plainly and he scoffed.

“Stop rushing me.” He whined and did that little pout he always did, as you just laughed and left.

—-

After you two finally left and got to the business party, you immediately noticed how crowded it actually was. You weren’t complaining, of course, because you loved parties, but Dom kept glaring at every man that even came close to you. It wasn’t exactly surprising, though, considering how easily jealous Dom got. But it was funny for some reason. Not to mention how cute he looked, blushing and being angry at people who wanted nothing more than to talk to you.

But once Dom went off to get drinks, you felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around. Almost immediately you felt like groaning since it was the man you hated most, Logan Paul.

He was so snobby and a shit person, and yet he wanted to be friends with you.

You wondered why he wanted to be friends with you, probably because he wanted to get to Dom too.

“Hey, babe!” Logan exclaimed as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you stiffened.

Why did he always have to call you babe?

“Hi Logan.” You said plainly and tried not to get his drink all over you since he was practically swinging it around. He didn’t seem to notice though as he continued talking about whatever the fuck had happened to him recently. It was honestly annoying, but you weren’t going to say anything. He was the golden star of the company, and if you did what you actually wanted to, you’d probably either get fired or be in prison.

“Soooo, how’s Dom been doing?” Logan asked as he looked down at you, not like the good way that Dom did, but in a way that was uncomfortable.

“He’s been good..just doing normal stuff.” You mumbled and he grinned. Of course he wouldn’t believe you. He was a creep.

Just then Dom came back and you breathed a sigh of relief, shrugging Logan’s hand off of your shoulders and smiling at how Dom wrapped an arm around your waist.

Dom scowled as Logan scrambled for a reply. “Eso no es my fault!” He exclaimed, and Dom just stared.

Even you didn’t know why Logan did spanglish.

“Spanglish? Eso es bajo, incluso para ti.” Dom said as he rolled his eyes and glared at Logan. “Shoo.” He added before turning to you and walking away, dragging you with him.

As you two were outside, he looked down at you. “Mi amor, why didn’t you say anything? You know I hate him.” He asked as his hands were on your hips, gently pulling you closer. As you rested your head on his chest, you sighed contently.

“I wanted to beat his ass.” You said with a shrug as he started to laugh, rolling his eyes. “Can we go home?” You asked and he sighed. “Yeah. This party’s boring as hell anyways.”

Goddamn, you loved when he was jealous.

[fiendishartist2]

im not fucking around anymore. here's the full "Paul is Care" essay i've been working on:

“Alright. So there's uh, nothing out here, as far as I've seen. But actually, I think there is something out here. I just haven't seen it yet.”

In Petscop, the story is told between the lines. When you feel like you have a grasp on it, a single colour or date throws off everything you’ve built up. That’s why I like to look at Petscop in another way; not as a series of events, but an exploration of a single character: Paul.

Some people like to map everything out in a single timeline; when did Care go missing, when did the family get the game, when did Lina and Mike die. I think that every interpretation of Petscop has its own value, because Petscop means something different to everyone who watches it. But, when I look at Petscop, I don’t just see a series of events wrapped up in the mystery of Care’s disappearance. I see a video game used as a device to explore and understand the connection between the past and the present. I see the ways in which Paul Leskowitz is Carrie Mark.

I know that to some that notion might seem crazy; the broader discussion of Petscop is different to the niche ones held by crazy people in the tags of a Tumblr post . Obviously, this theory is personally significant and I hold it very near and dear to my heart. But, I want to share this theory in a way that makes sense to the general audience of Petscop because I genuinely believe you guys are missing out! So, keep an open mind and enter my Petscop mind-palace…

“...were signs along the way. Um, that I ignored. Because it would have been a completely ridiculous idea to me. Um. But when I found my room, it made, uh, well, I was shocked at first, but it made sense, especially considering where I found the game in the first place, um, that it would be tied, in some way, to me through you. Um. And I'm trying to think, when was the last time I saw any of you at all? It had to have been in like, 1999. I was a kid, I was a small kid. Tiny kid. Um. And after that, just, you know. But, it would make sense in the timeline.” (Petscop 11)

A lot of Petscop theories surround the actual textual proof found in the videos, so that’s where I’ll start. There’s many instances where Paul makes the connection between himself and Care, but one moment continues to stick with me. In Petscop 11, Paul finally enters the house and takes a look around. He’s on the phone with someone, presumably Belle. Paul goes up to the calendars and starts talking about Care, “Yeah, on that topic... I don't remember meeting this girl at all. Um, I don't remember knowing her at any point (…) Um, and I remember you saying that we were, that we, we are, um, exactly the same age.” (Petscop 11). He points out that he and Care share the same birthday, down to the year. We get further confirmation of this in Petscop 14, when Paul’s conversation with Jill that he had on his own birthday is superimposed onto Care’s. The next part though, is what really gets the theory started, “I do agree there's a resemblance. Um. Very strong resemblance between us.” (Petscop 11).

Faces are incredibly important in Petscop. Marvin thought Care and Mike could be rebirthed into Lina because they had similar features, and Care had to be given Mike’s eyebrows specifically to change her room. So, for Paul and Care to have such similar facial features that someone else pointed out the resemblance is significant.

They also happen to share the name “Leskowitz”, which is both Anna and Lina’s last name. We know this because his Reddit account is “p_leskowitz”.

If he’s a Leskowitz, then that explains his complicated feelings towards “the family”. “The family” is a foreboding presence throughout Petscop. Their meddling isn’t outright malicious, but even Paul admits that he’s intimidated by them. And it makes sense, as “the family” (comprised of Anna and Jill) each have a major role in the core mystery of Petscop. Anna is the mother of Care and the wife of Marvin, while Jill is Marvin’s sister and the mother of both Rainer and Mike. To be a Leskowitz, Paul would need to be blood related to Anna or Lina in some way. Paul shows that he has this relation to the family in Petscop 22, when he’s talking to Belle about finding the windmill, “And, I don't th- and you don't have to worry about it, right, 'cause... 'cause you aren't, you aren't family, so you wouldn't... have a room, that's the thing.” (Petscop 22). In this context, Paul is asking Belle whether Jill has contacted her. When he tells her she doesn’t have a room, this is in reference to the Child Library explored in Petscop 3 and 7. This means that in order to be part of the Leskowitz-Mark family (and in our case, related to Care), you have to have a room in the Child Library, something both Paul and Care possess.

Paul being related to the family is also supported by his casual mention of meeting Rainer as a child, “‘Rainer’... I saw him at a birthday party once. All the older kids were down in the basement playing video games, to hide from everyone. He was down there, too. He was older than the rest of them, though.” (Petscop 11), and his confusion of not knowing Care, with the implication that if she was real, he would have met her through the family.

A rarely discussed aspect of Paul’s character is that he can’t tell his left from his right. When he’s doing the disc puzzle in Anna and Marvin’s room is Petscop 11, “Um, we can see what the room looks like in that recording, um, on the uh, right? ... Left? Left? Right ... side.” (Petscop 14) and before he even enters the house, “And, I mean, I still get confused about that. Because, I mean, well, I know it's always the top, but, um, I still have to think. I have to think.” (Petscop 11), we can clearly see that he has trouble with directions. In a similar fashion, Care is described as “dizzy”, most notably in the end credits of Petscop. She is also described as blind by Rainer in Petscop 17, “You were blind. At some point, your movements stopped making sense.” (Petscop 17). In the counsellor’s office, the counsellor says to Paul, “Are you right handed, or left handed? You don't know? Really?” (Petscop 22). I’ll get more into it later, but this sequence is presumably a real conversation that the game is recreating. If this scene is taken from Care’s real childhood, then it confirms that she also had problems with her lefts and rights.

Now, this is the base level of the theory. It’s easy to figure out that Paul is a Leskowitz, he literally calls them “the family”. And while I think the bits about faces and birthdays and directions are significant to this theory, I wanted to get all of the textual evidence out of the way so that I could get into the fun part of this essay: the subtext.

”Some things you can't rewrite.” (Petscop 14)

Petscop is nothing if not a collection of symbols and metaphors. Ask me what Petscop is all about on any given day and there’s a non-zero chance I will start explaining why the car is orange. While it is necessary to analyse Petscop as a real series of events, I think that another approach can be taken; what if we analysed Petscop as a series of events that are happening to Paul specifically? That the game is creating meaning by placing Paul specifically in these snippets of the past. By looking at each moment as “Why did the game make Paul do this?” instead of “What is happening in the game?”, we can see everything through a new lens.

First, I want to discuss colour. Colour plays a huge role in Petscop; almost every character is assigned their own colour. This is most often used to denote who is speaking in text, but it’s also used for other things like the tool. You are probably aware that Care’s colour is yellow, as all of her text is yellow. What you might not know is that Paul’s colour is red. Paul has exactly one instance in all of Petscop where he has coloured text and that is in Petscop 22, when he gives the counsellor his name. The calendars in the house are also colour coded, as the one showing 2017 is red.

One of my favourite moments in all of Petscop uses colour in a way that supports this theory perfectly. When Paul takes Care out of the rebirthing machine, she has been transformed into an Easter egg. A red and yellow striped Easter egg. I will get into this egg later on, but for now, I want to point out how Paul and Care’s colours have been used here. Of course, it’s significant just that they've been put together, but it's more than that. Care’s final form, the egg she has been placed in to keep her safe from all of the trauma she has suffered, that she will spend the rest of the series in, is painted a combination of her and Paul’s colours. In the same sequence, when Paul is playing the Needles Piano for Care B, the “wrong” notes he plays to turn her into the Easter Egg are all red. There’s a joke about eggs and transness in here somewhere.

Right after Care’s rebirth into the egg, Paul places her in the locker with the purple egg and the “new life” letter. If we abide by the established colour theory, this second egg would be Belle’s/Tiara’s egg. By putting them together, alongside the letter, it symbolises Care and Belle’s transfer to Lina’s care; this can also be supported by the ending of Petscop. In the final scene of the soundtrack, Belle recounts when she and Paul were adopted, “There is Boss waiting for her son. Pall do you remember being born. Smuggled away driving to your new house. Boss in driver seat me in back.” (Petscop Soundtrack). “Do you remember being born” is a question posed over and over again throughout Petscop. It’s meant to be a reference to rebirthing, but here it’s Paul being asked if he remembers being born, not Care; you can also connect this to the “new life” letter, making it apparent Belle is asking if he remembers when he was given his “new life” with her and “Boss”. There’s also the implication of the wording “smuggled away”, implying that there was something stopping Paul from being taken to his new home. Paul and Care’s final scenes parallel each other; Care is placed with Belle’s/Tiara’s egg with the “new life” letter, while Paul is taken back to “Boss” by Belle. Care and Paul are both asked if they “remember being born”.

Another, smaller piece of colour theory in Petscop comes from the board games in the counsellor’s office. The board game “Accident” features red and yellow puzzle pieces that fit together, but are broken apart. Remember that Care’s colour is yellow, so assume that she symbolises the yellow piece; Paul’s colour is red, so assume that he symbolises the red piece. The red piece is bigger and fits into the smaller yellow piece, like it’s missing the beginning of it. The yellow piece comes before the red piece, as if it adds context to the red piece. When we think of this in terms of Care and Paul, we can see that Care is the “missing piece” of Paul; the small part of his past that adds the context that completes him. Paul’s piece is bigger because he’s been Paul for so much longer (if we interpret the counsellor’s office as a real event the way it is shown, then that could be the moment he changed. Or, if we consider Care’s rebirth into the egg as the moment Care turned into Paul, then that would be the moment instead), meanwhile Care’s piece is small because she was only a small part of his life.

Taking colour into account, we can get into the meat of the symbolism in Petscop. When we view the events of Petscop through our new lens, many things become significant. Paul is placed in the role of Care many times throughout the series; on Care’s birthday, in the counsellor's office, and in Rainer’s “you are Carrie Mark” monologue.

During the “strange situation” birthday scene, Paul carries around a yellow balloon, symbolising that he is standing in for Care. This is further cemented by Anna’s dialogue addressing Paul as if he is Care on the day she came home, “You made it. Happy birthday! (...) Why are you covering your face? (...) Of course I recognize you. Those eyes. That nose. That’s still you.” (Petscop 14).

This next dialogue from Anna is particularly interesting to me; she doesn’t just tell Paul that she’s happy Care is home safe or ask him where she’s been, but instead she says this, “I sure hope you’ve realised by now. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been gone. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve changed. You aren’t lost. Stop wandering and come home.” (Petscop 14). When we talk about Petscop, we have the urge to deny any supernatural involvement in the story. Whether through AI or predictive programming or alternate timelines, we want Petscop to be plausible. Understandable. Easy to digest. But, we often forget that Paul poses the question of a literal “ghost in the machine” in the first few episodes. I want to consider this quote– Anna talking to her child who has been “lost” for many years– as an act of this ghost. The game is talking back to Paul, telling him that no matter how much he has changed, he still has the same eyes, the same nose that made him Carrie Mark. And we know how important eyes and noses are in Petscop. Also as a side note, consider how Anna didn’t specify eyebrows; we know that Care’s lack of eyebrows is in some way due to Marvin, but when she tells Paul she recognises his eyes and nose, she doesn’t add on eyebrows. Paul said it himself in Petscop 7, “Um, and why am I doing that? Well, because eyebrows seem to be important.” (Petscop 7). I like to think that she couldn’t have said that Paul has the same eyebrows because, since Marvin isn’t in the picture anymore, he wouldn’t have any reason to pluck them.

Another scene that mixes up Paul and Care is the counsellor's office. When Paul finally enters the “girl wall” in Petscop 22, he is placed into a school’s counsellor’s office. Again, they talk to Paul as if he is Care, apologising for taking him out of class and saying he needs to “catch up”, implying that he’s missed a significant amount of school. As they start to play Graverobber (Jesus Christ, Rainer), the counsellor is confused about Paul’s name; they ask him if they have the wrong name written down, as his save file is currently “Strange Situation” and when they called out the name on file, Paul didn’t respond. Now, the connection here is a little more nuanced, but it still comes to a conclusion that I think greatly supports the theory. “Strange situation” is in reference to the Mary Ainsworth Strange Situation Experiment, a test in which an infant is deliberately separated from their mother to test their level of attachment. This is a very base level understanding of this concept, but when applied to this specific scene, it becomes apparent that this “strange situation” is another reference to Care. Care was separated from her mother for about half a year, only returning during the birthday party scene; the counsellor’s scene was accessible once Paul started using the “Strange Situation” file. Care stopped recognising the name she used before the seperation, considering herself to be “Strange Situation” instead. She has literally stopped recognising the name Care, and picks out her own name (which in the game Paul sets to his own).

Also consider the implication of the “girl wall”. At first, it’s an absurd joke, meant to lighten the mood using the same roundabout humour the rest of the series has. But, the counsellor asking if they have the wrong name, listing Paul as “Strange Situation” instead of his name, combined with the fact that when Paul is placed in front of the girl wall, he can’t walk away from it, it becomes a bit of an analogy; The game keeps forcefully showing Paul the word “GiRL” over and over and when he finally enters the “girl-world” as Strange Situation, he is called the wrong name and once again placed in Care’s shoes.

Let’s revisit the “ghost in the machine” idea. In Petscop 17, we are shown a past recording of Petscop; we never find out who was playing at this time, but it’s easy to assume Paul is the one watching the recording. The footage is less interesting than the dialogue, but it is notable that it’s a recording of the player running backwards in a very deliberate pattern. The actually relevant part of this sequence is Rainer’s monologue; in particular, the way he frames it, “You are a girl named Carrie Mark, and you were born on November 12th, 1992. You have a mommy named Anna, a daddy named Marvin, an auntie named Jill, an uncle named Thomas, a cousin named Daniel, ......I know what you must be thinking. Have these statements always been true? Or have I cursed you? Is there such a thing? A curse that changes your past?” (Petscop 17). There’s something about the forcefulness of this dialogue, “You are Carrie Mark,” as if Rainer is trying to make it so just by saying it. The inclusion of the birthday is also notable; we have been shown time and time again that Paul and Care share a birthday, and that this is an important part of both of their characters. So, when Rainer asks if these statements have always been true, or if it’s “a curse that changes your past”, we’re meant to interpret it as such: some of the statements are true, but the “you” being addressed is not currently “a girl named Carrie Mark”. Rainer casts a spell to make the player retrace their steps and although he might not be playing, the use of the word “you” and present tense language makes the statement pointed towards Paul. There’s something to be said about Rainer’s position in all of this; he isn’t the only tangible “ghost” in Petscop (Marvin and Tiara fit Paul’s definition established in Petscop 6), but he’s the only one to be fully dead. It truly feels, in this moment, like Petscop– like Rainer– is talking directly to Paul. The “curse that changes your past” is the part that ties it all together. This past that Paul doesn’t fully remember, where Anna and Marvin have a daughter named Care, where someone in his family went missing for months– by learning about this through the game, Rainer is essentially changing Paul’s version of the past. Your memory and physical evidence are all you have of the past; when your memory tells you one thing, but physical evidence tells you another, what version of your past is true?

“You’re the Newmaker. You can turn Care NLM into Care A, and close the loop.” (Petscop 9)

Finally, I want to explain why this theory is supportive of the themes of Petscop. Of course, there’s the obvious link between rebirth and the change from Care to Paul. But, there’s also themes of blood family versus chosen family, breaking the cycle of abuse, and of healing from your past. I want to provide an explanation of each of these themes and how the “Paul is Care” theory fits into them.

Let’s begin with the family point, since I already expanded on the family’s role in Petscop earlier. There’s a story behind the scenes in this series; the conflict between the chosen family versus the blood family. Anna and Jill against Belle and Lina. Anna and Jill are restrictive– they take over the channel and block certain things from the audience. Paul admits that he’s intimidated by them, and he’s concerned when he thinks Jill could be in contact with Belle. When we get the only dialogue from Jill, Paul is hostile and aggressive with her, something we don’t see from him otherwise. Alternately, Anna comes off as dismissive in most of her dialogue; when Care shows up at the birthday party, Anna treats her like no time has passed, like they haven’t been searching for her for months. We don’t get direct contact between Anna and Paul (except for a phone call in Petscop 11 that you could interpret as being with Anna), but the way she talks to the player through Care during the birthday party is still dismissive, “I sure hope you’ve realised by now. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been gone. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve changed. You aren’t lost. Stop wandering and come home.” (Petscop 14). There’s a level of distance between Paul and the family, which is evident from the name alone; Paul identifies himself as part of the family, but he still calls them “the family” as opposed to “my family”. When you pair that with the fact that he calls them all by their first names instead of any term of endearment (like how Rainer calls her “Auntie Jill” in his spell), it paints a clear picture: Paul does not want to be part of this family.

In direct contrast, Belle is shown a significant amount of affection from Paul. Not only is he on the phone with her for a good handful of the episodes, but Belle also has a familial connection to Paul. In Petscop 2, Paul is talking to Belle and he says “When you come home next month, and uh, hopefully you're feeling a little more enthusiastic about that now, we can investigate this together, and maybe you'll find stuff that I can't find here.” (Petscop 2). I think the casual use of the word ‘home’ to describe where Belle is staying implies a certain closeness, maybe even that they live in the same household. That’s not the part of this line that is important to me, however. Take a look at Belle’s final speech at the end of Petscop; Belle says “I could not wait too be your friend,” and Paul responds, “Family”, to which Belle says, “We can investigate this together.” (Petscop Soundtrack). After distancing himself from the family, as well as directly telling her she’s not part of the family (following it up with “Uhh... I didn't- I didn't mean it that way,” (Petscop 22), implying they have a similar connection that she’s defending), Paul calls Belle family. She states that they’re friends and Paul corrects her by telling her that they’re not just friends, but family. The most gut wrenching part of this dialogue is the use of ‘we can investigate this together’. It’s like a ward, a promise that Belle is making to Paul. He doesn’t have to go through this alone, she’s promising to be there for him. She’s going to investigate this with him, like he asked her to in the second episode. Paul doesn’t call his blood relatives family, but he tells Belle that they are his family; her and the “Boss”.

How does this connect to Care? It’s not hard evidence, but when you take this theme of family into account, it makes more sense for Paul to have a strained relationship with the family if we apply Care’s story to him. Think about it; Paul was ‘smuggled away driving too [his] new house’ and he hasn’t seen the family since he was a child, and Care’s egg was (metaphorically) placed with Belle’s and the New Life Letter when she would have been around 5, since that’s the age she was when she was kidnapped. Care went through an extremely traumatic event in a toxic environment– why wouldn’t someone step in and take her out of that family? To me, this theory extends the same closure Paul gets at the end of Petscop to Care; it tells us that even after everything she went through, she finds people who love and take care of her.

Abuse is a huge focus in Petscop, both as a plot point and a major theme. Rainer’s main motivation is to expose Marvin’s abuse of both Mike and Care to the family– whether or not that’s successful is not important. Because years after Rainer’s attempt, Paul is back doing the exact same; although, his playthrough of Petscop is less of an expose and more of an attempt at solving the mystery. Now, I think it’s a little pedantic, but in this context, I think the “cycle of abuse” in Petscop refers less to a generational cycle, but a continuous cycle that happens every time Petscop is played. Care is stuck in this version of the past that Rainer has created, forced to live through it as many years as Petscop is left on. Paul doesn’t continue this cycle though; as far as we know, Paul is the only person to reach the good ending of the game, where he’s rebirthed Care into the egg and reconnected with Belle and ‘Boss’. Paul is the only person who could understand what Care needed, because it’s exactly what he needed.

Care’s trauma is replayed for us throughout Petscop. Every knowable aspect of it is shown, leaving behind a raw feeling; like somehow, Paul and Rainer have made a spectacle of her abuse. But, I don’t think that’s entirely true. Rainer, although he is bitter and vengeful, is ultimately the person who finds the truth about Care and Mike and (if we are to believe him) is also the one who found Care at the school. In the beginning, it’s obvious that Paul is playing the game to see the mystery and is slowly engulfed by it throughout the rest of the series. When the game tells him that, “Marvin picks up tool hurts me when playstation on,” (Petscop 3), Paul proceeds anyway. The same happens when Care is caught in her room; Paul sees what is obviously a child being kidnapped and continues to solve the puzzle anyway. He picks the flower, catching Care NLM, and leads Marvin to the house. Paul follows through on everything he can to ‘solve’ the mystery of Carrie Mark, but in the end, he defies what the game has told him to do and saves Care. He does what Rainer couldn’t do: he breaks the cycle of abuse in the Mark-Leskowitz family. It’s kind of poetic, the idea that the person Care grew to be is the same person who confronts and lays to rest her trauma. The fact that playing his own theme would be the key to changing Care into the egg (a symbol of birth and potential) is beautiful.

The last thing I want to talk about is the theme of healing. This concept is more nebulous; we don’t see much of Paul post-Petscop, but the final scene does always leave me feeling hopeful for him. I think the reconnection with Belle and ‘Boss’, alongside the reassurance that, “[they] can investigate this together,” shows that Paul is out of the mindset and environment Petscop put him in. I’ve always thought that throughout Petscop, we see a deterioration of Paul; in the beginning, he’s intrigued and confused, but we see him become more and more disturbed, irritable, and frustrated towards the end. This is first evident with the CD puzzle in the house, where Paul is so out of his depth and confused that he stops acting with the same calm rationality shown throughout the earlier episodes. Then, when Paul is messing about with the demo recordings, he stops speaking in the videos entirely. When Paul sees the final blacked out object, which are coordinates to the real life windmill, he is the most stuttery we’ve ever seen, “Hm. Y- y- yep, yep. Yep... yep. N- we would- we would have to find out how big... like, we'd have to find out how big a tile is..? One of the tiles..? Like, if we could- if we could figure out how big... one tile is, in... u- in, umm... Like, feet. Or... Uhh, yeah. Meters.” (Petscop 22). He’s frazzled and excited and a little bit scared, evidenced by how he talks about the family, “They didn't... I don't like talking to them. They intimidate me…” (Petscop 22). All of this changes by the end; Paul is no longer stuck playing the game and he’s free to return to the people who love him most. This freedom is summed up in a single image: the final one we see in Petscop. Paul’s chair is empty and the blue sky beyond the desk is brimming with hope.

All this to say, Paul choosing Belle and ‘Boss’ over the game as well as saving Care by doing what’s best for her instead of finishing the final puzzle, alongside his final scene where he is welcomed home by his real family, shows us an interpretation of Petscop that paints it not as a tragedy, but a story of chosen family, breaking the cycle of abuse, and healing trauma through connection.

Thank you so much for hearing me out.

Bye-bye!