#LIFE HIT ME BAD
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Me: [sees everyone talking about how Assad Zaman was "literally" coming up with RPF about himself and Eric Bogosian in an interview]
Me: ah, fandom's doing its little "interpret an innocent comment in Some Kind Of Way" thing again, let's go find the video and do our own critical thinking about what was actually said here--
Assad: What would happen if I said-- [words that cannot be interpreted as anything but RPF fanfic]
Me:
Me: ok fandom gets a pass on this one actually
#interview with the vampire#devil's minion#assad zaman#he's just hit that level of devil's minion brainrot#i've seen it a thousand times#this cast is fully unhinged and I ADORE them#the chaos energy is off the charts#eric out here setting a bad example with his “did u know u can say anything u want in interviews actually :)))” energy#assad seems one step away from getting Marxist about it like#“if rolin doesn't let me kiss daniel in s3 we must Seize The Means Of Production”#baby boy listen... be the change you want to see in the world#if u wanna write ur own devil's minion fanfic and film it on ur iphone i support u 100% and i will get u in contact with the OTW's lawyers#who ironically were invented partially BECAUSE of people getting in trouble for writing Anne Rice fanfic#this is what we call Plot Structure#real life does not usually have such a satisfying Plot Structure but it could in this case if assad reaches level 100 in Unhingery#and tbh i truly don't know that I would put it past him at this point#iwtv
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If you're up for it could you explain what is making the Germany government stuff so funny? I can find news articles about it (a coalition is dissolving? There's been tension for a while?) but they're all fairly serious. Thx!
ohhh, sure thing! i'll do my best!
i'll say upfront: this is a pretty serious thing to happen. our chancellor fired our minister of finance, Lindner, which definitively breaks up the governing coalition. germany will likely have snap elections at a moment in which far-right parties are polling extremely well. if news coverage about it seems like people are Worried, that's because, well, they are.
however. the reason it's funny is because our minister of finance was fired. ministers aren't really... ever fired. like, it's not a done thing. i'll fully admit i didn't even know it was an option until yesterday. and our minister of finance wasn't just anyone, he was one of the most mocked and hated figures in politics to germans who vote anywhere left of center.
the coalition that governed until yesterday was made up of the green party, the social democrats, and the neoliberal party (FDP). the FDP is infamous (and i mean, my parents already raised me to hate them for that) for playing kingmaker in coalition governments: they never get all that many votes, but they get just enough that whoever they agree to form a government with will probably succeed. they then tend to force extreme concessions from their coalition partners, because hey, if we walk off, you can't govern at all! so you better play along!
for the past three years, this behaviour has been extremely frustrating for germans who voted for greens or social democrats, because policy from their faction was constantly being blocked by the FDP and often by Lindner personally. the FDP received 11,5% of votes in 2021, but to many of us, it felt as if they were the only party who really had any say in the governing coalition. it made the green and social democratic coalition partners look spineless and passive.
and now, i invite you to imagine how on the day of the US election results, the day the whole world rolled their eyes at the sheer fucking stupidity and pointlessness of it all, at NINE IN THE EVENING, just as germans are getting ready to settle in to bed to dream of nightmare global politics -
the news suddenly breaks that our notoriously invisible chancellor just decided to fire Lindner for that exact behaviour. this chancellor comes out and says, on camera, to the entire sleepy nation, that acting the way Lindner did - blocking necessary policies, refusing to approve budgets unless his party's interests were met - was childish, selfish, irresponsible, and unfit for government, so, whoops, he had to go. shame. coalition over, i guess.
so, politically, that was a long-needed but never-expected moment of triumph for those of us who think the FDP is a clown show made up of human TESLA shares, and it came at a hysterically funny moment.
on a personal level, i can barely explain how uniquely hateable Lindner has always been. he's what would happen if a stock index graph came to life. he hates poor people with a relish; he mocks welfare recipients and would ax minimum wages in a second. he's everyone's business major roommate who shows up in boat shoes fresh off a yacht to discuss NFTs with you. throughout the entire time that he's used his rich boy policy blackmail strategy, he's been smug about it, and he was never taken to task for it, and millions of germans have been longing to throw rotten fruit in his face since 2017. and now we finally get to do it. via memes. on the day of trump's election win.
so that's why it's funny.
#like the cocktail of emotions that Hit last night is utterly indescribable#our chancellor is FAMOUS for not speaking. like that's his whole thing. i've heard him say words maybe twice before#and suddenly there he is. bald. hamburgian. fresh from what must have been the most horrific 15 hour workday of his life.#and just comes out and tells the most annoying bug of a human being in his coalition to fuck off. dare we say iconic#but yeah on the whole things are looking pretty bad 🥰 i'm just a hater so this is great for me#hope this makes sense anon! sorry it's a lot of words!#asks#anon#germany#politics#< for blacklisting purposes lmao
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Imagine you're in the world of Transformers. Imagine you woke up randomly in the med bay and you're a giant robot.
You don't know which version of Transformers this is, the movies or the TV series or the comics? You don't know.
But you need to pick a faction and join it right now.
#maccadam#transformers#I'm definitely joining the autobots#now#hear me out#we don't know which universe this is#it COULD be shattered glass for example#so I can't really be sure if Autobots are “good” and chill#but! Thinking practically! Autobots leader won't just give me to Shockwave as a lab rat#Autobot leader also probably wouldn't hit me just because he's in bad mood#you know what I'm saying#I got sucked into thinking about every-day life. not just “who is right”#idk. Me and my friend were talking about this and i got curious#because she acts like joining the Decepticons in obvious answer
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#selfie bee#me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails#i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade#FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!!#did you have a lot of snow on christmas!#we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c:#do you have any plans for the new year?#i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun#this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇`)ノ#I would also love to learn how to make a handstand#imagine if you could just make yourself upside down#but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either#but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ )#maybe I'll finally finish that website!#new years are good and fun#it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :)#who knows what this year will bring!#I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car#I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact#I wonder how he is doing today#since that moment I think about pheasants a lot#I knew they were real but I had never seen one#just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling#right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet#get dry soon pheasants!!#I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either#I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts#also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅#I've finished it and its really really bad#but I love it
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gg buddy am I right (ethubs doodle that I don't know what to do with)
#ethubs#Ive wanted to draw ethubs angst for so many days but art block is still hitting hard and this thing has been sitting around for awhile#hey ethubers how did you. survive#last life ethubs upsets me so much make it end#The way after Bdubs dies Etho is trying to justify to himself not having given him a life to begin with rather than#telling him to prove himself#its like he expects the others who are with him to comment on it but they dont. Etho's all "I couldn't have just given it to him you know..#without them asking about it or anything. And Etho just keeps going. god damn it Etho I feel so bad for them#dont even get me started on what Bdubs said to G about Etho grrrr GRRRR I saw that for the first time not long ago GRRRRRR#I still wanna draw proper ethubs though. someday#also the damage to Bdubs' face is supposed to be from the rocket Lizzie shot#does it make sense? No probably not but its an excuse to make him look more dead#tubby art
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something about the main menu for life is strange genuinely makes me wanna collapse and sob
#like not just the music but the overall visuals yknow#it's like this gut wrenching#almost nostalgic ????#feeling that hits like a truck#especially after playing the full game#seeing how peaceful things could be is almost like#i dunno gives me that feeling of dread when you've done something you can't undo#seeing how good things could be but knowing you don't get to go back#sorta thing#it's just#something about beautiful pictures having gut wrenching back stories#does something bad to my brain#naturally#i dunno i'm half asleep and rambling#but yknow what i mean#i'm trying to put it into words as best i can#it's like#it really is just like what growing up feels like ig#especially when it doesn't turn out how you want#wanting to go back and warn yourself so you can hopefully make things easier and more ideal but obviously you can't#that's kinda what the menu feels like#music and all#especially those goddamn birds chirping#ok goodnight#life is strange#chloe price#max caulfield#lis chloe#lis max#pricefield
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my mind has gone FERAL for GG's glorious future. BUT, I must know... What convinced Lae'zel to try an extra serving of calamari?! did Emps have to plane shift to save GG and just *Destroy* a bunch of enemies or something??
Oh man, That question brought out the big muse-a-lot hammer. But for like. Different answers. The Bad News: I have NO idea! Absolute zilch what specific moment would make Lae'zel go "Open-Minded-flayer Take #2". Maybe it's not even an exact moment. Maybe it's more like a very long and arduous slow-burning process. A very enemies to rivals to mutual allies to friends-who-won't-admit-they're-friends to I'll-think-about-it to count-me-in. A very 3-4 character developing campaign arc. The Good news: I know what starts them down that path.
Oh the shenanigans. Oh the things that can exist in the Far Realms where time doesn't exist and endless AUs do.
So what if Greygold accidentally meets their evil ending self and gets in an unfortunate predicament where Babe and Squid bud have no choice but to...Partner up to rescue them?
More shenanigans below:
Stakes are set. Maybe Greygold escapes, but can't return home without Grey following and is in hiding. Maybe they're bait and traps are set. Maybe they're dead (temporarily???). Maybe they're both having an intense therapy debate about redemption arcs until they're rescuers arrive. Greygold Mind Games Go.
The long story explanation: Greygold had never invested more into the marketing strategist business mindset than to turn their favorite romance novel, Tusk Love, (comic inside joke) into a pop culture hit. Emps lost a bet that they could succeed and now is following through with their not-so-innocent deal to use Greyg's trusted "adventurer" as their official public disguise.
Since the romance novel Tusk Love is now a popular theater play, Emps' public disguise keeps getting mistaken for that " one pretty tusked fellow on the bestseller novel (which recently updated their book cover with an anonymously commissioned illustration which looks suspiciously identical)" and never fails to receive an abundance of compliments. Emps has reserved the right to remain silent about the whole matter, but is pretty sure Greygold pulled a 'get praised, squiddiot' prank.
Lae'zel is gonna catch up on a lot of Squid Bud facts on this trip. Much to Squid Bud's dismay.
The irony is if Emps asked Minsc for help first, this adventure would have been solved within a day tops.
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#Bg3 au#or bg3 throwing wild magic idea darts; very hit and miss; grain of salt sillies ( I had fun with the thought at least)#Greygold#squidgold#lae'zel#Bg3 the emperor#Bg3 emperor#emperor x greygold x lae'zel#I worry those two might enable each other's no mercy murder spree involving anything endangering Greyg's life#But something something this is probably a metaphor for would you be able to love the worst of me? Would you kill them or save them?#Evil Greyg definitely did not meet that charisma save with Lae'zel#Like what if reload doesn't destroy the world where you failed your check#; you the player just move to different world with more satisfying outcomes. but the failed check world continues on. schemes.#sometimes it's a game over. sometimes they find you in the far realms to remedy their losses. one way or another.#Anyway Greyg finds out they have bad coping mechanisms when losing their loved ones.#���I'll get you my pretty; and your pina colada too”
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I feel like Sam Monroe would’ve also looked real hot in a brow piercing or some snakebites. PLS TELL ME YALL SEE THE VISION 😣😣🙏🙏
#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker smut#sam monroe#sam monroe x reader#sam monroe smut#life as a house#hayden christensen#hayden christensen is so hot#hayden christensen smut#hayden christensen appreciation#hayden christensen imagine#sam monroe fanfiction#sam monroe headcanon#sam monroe life as a house#let me cook#let me hit#i want his babies#i want his dick so far down my throat it leaves bruises#i wanna fuck him so bad#i would let him do unspeakable things to me
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something that always gets me about klavier is that he is so clearly just like. friendly. he cares so much and he cares too much. he's one to tease simultaneously but he so clearly just like. loves and loves and loves, even when it puts him in harm's way, he likes people and he likes being around people enough to be desperate for it and for friendship like. ough
#goober.txt#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#aa4#this is also partially why I am such a truther of nuance in klavier+kris's relationship#I think it mixes well with prev just in like. how much he cares is both part of his core and a byproduct of#being desperate for all the connection he lost + that was plenty dysfunctional on top of that (but all he had)#I think it actively hits harder if he's conflicted for missing someone who was terrible because it was still his brother and like.#I think kris having been good to klavier sometimes (adding to the dysfunction of the bad) is something that I've always liked#because like#I think klavier having a 'is it wrong to want him dead' and 'am I terrible for missing him badly' thing happenin at the same time is!!#so good and also very sad and I love you gavin brother things that capcom didn't give us. love you klavier gavin#I like the idea of him having that confliction alongside his grief :( ow#I literally don't have the right words to properly express all my thought cereal on this. other people have done it though so it is ok haha#I love when fictional grief has the confliction of 'being reminded the monster was also human and that makes everything worse' it's so good#like I hate you. I miss you. the way you were nice to me was so very you and it makes me soft and sad and tired. I miss you.#you were awful in unspeakable ways. I miss you.#sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like without you and it comforts me as much as it terrifies me. I miss you
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Obsessed with the way Evadne's relationship with Apollo is described. Obsessed with the way Apollo was especially gentle with her because she was sheltered, hidden away and hadn't had any sort of experience with love prior to Apollo (and due to it being described as her 'first learning Aphrodite's joy' through Apollo', it was probably her first time even being attracted to someone). Obsessed with the way when she runs away, she stops in a violet patch to give birth. Y'know, violets, very famously the flower so strongly associated with Aphrodite that they were used in love potions? Those violets. Obsessed with the way that when Apollo realised his lover was going to have to deliver their child alone, he sent BOTH the goddess of childbirth and ALL THREE OF THE FATES to help and support her. Obsessed with the way that Apollo sends snakes to feed his baby honey straight from their fangs because Evadne abandons their son out of straight primal fear when her stepfather finds her and how the description of that honey is 'sweet venom' [ἰός] of the bees and is DEFINITELY a poetic pair/pun with [ἴον] aka violets and that every single thing about this relationship, conception and birth is a complete and utter fairytale down to Evadne's insanely overprotective stepfather having an immediate change of heart when he learned Evadne's child was an actual, legitimate Son of Apollo and the babe, after being cared for by his dad's honey-fanged snake buddies, was found perfectly healthy five days later swaddled in a blanket of violets (y'know the flowers so strongly associated with Aphrodite that they were used for lo-) and they called him Iamus aka Boy of the Violets which is AAAAAARRRR I AM GNAWING AT MY ENCLOSURE
Iamus was made of love. Everything about him was surrounded by deep and profound love and like, let's not even talk about his whole Thing of when he came of age and was like "I need to find out what my purpose is" and he literally had a Disney Protagonist moment where he ran out into the wilds and was like "Father!! Grandfather!! Tell me what I'm supposed to doooo!!" and then APOLLO FUCKING ANSWERED AND LED HIM TO ONE HIS TEMPLES ENTIRELY BY TALKING WITH IAMUS AND LETTING HIM FOLLOW HIS VOICE FOR THE WHOLE JOURNEY LIKE -
What do y'all know about the kind of SSS tier romantic escapades Apollo had fr?
#ginger rambles#NO BECAUSE WHAT DO Y'ALL KNOW ABOUT APOLLO AND EVADNE FR#They're a MAD underrated couple and their story is what everyone wishes Hades/Persephone was#Evadne actually WAS sheltered and overprotected because she was a daughter of Poseidon explicitly given to Aepytus to watch over#And Aepytus to his credit wasn't actually a bad man or anything he just took his job very very seriously#Super pious guy - even though he was positively incandescent when he found out Evadne was pregnant he didn't hit her or anything#He just was like “Get me my HORSE I am going to consult the GODS about my DAUGHTER'S HARLOTRY”#Evadne was fucking terrified of him though she hid that pregnancy like her life depended on it#And the minute she heard horse hooves even though she had just finished giving birth she dropped Iamus like he was molten and fucking ran#I could only imagine Aepytus having set up a baby shower or something cause he was overjoyed by the oracle and Evadne gets home thinking#she's going to get Dungeon'd only for Aepytus to hug her and be like “You should've told me you were seeing Apollo sob emoji sob emoji”#God I'm sure Evadne had a bunch of trauma to work through with her stepfather changing his whole entire attitude on a complete#Apollo doesn't directly interfere with their lives after Iamus is born up until Iamus comes looking for him but he was definitely keeping#a very close eye on them all through their lives#Ugh I'm sick I'm so sick in the head thinking about them#apollo#evadne#iamus#greek mythology#ginger chats about greek myths
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"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White
#dungeon meshi#shuro#toshiro nakamoto#look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing#shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy#i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society#pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred#it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms#shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character#his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point#they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms#shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely#anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills#to hash things out before they got too bad#re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her#she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self#alas not meant to be#i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me#i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him#marcille famously racist 😭#characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged#practically everyone is casually racist at some point#anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery#he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭#calemonsito notes#edit: upon further reflection i take back what i said about toshiro mpdg-ing falin!#i'm sorry toshiro 😭
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"Suddenly the world was gray and dull and my heart was so heavy I felt like I couldn’t move, let alone make it back to Treasure Town. But because of Echo’s last wish… I was able to keep living.”
--- --- --- --- ---
SORA : (Partner)
Abilities: Justified / Inner Focus
Nature: Gentle / Hardy
Moveset: Aura Sphere / Metal Claw / Poison Jab / Dragon Pulse
#It's my baby girl!! My sweetiepie!! Sora the light of my life my bestest girlie#Her own character sheet to go along with Echo's since I had so much fun making that one and obvs Sora needed to be given as much love too#Sora learned Poison Jab as a riolu back when she was mistrustful towards Grovyle and wanted to thrash him around#nowadays she feels bad about knowing the move when her intentions for learning it were to get an upper hand against him in battle#but she also refuses to unlearn it and keeps it as a reminder that sometimes your own expectations about others are wrong in the end#plus the idea of someone as sweet as Sora knowing a poison-type move just makes me go crazy. did you expect a fairy type move or something?#Cause no. She'll literally stab you to death with literal poison because she can if you upset her or Echo.#And to anyone wondering about the large scar on her tail... yes it is literally a hand-print courtesy of Dusknoir#insert the universally traumatic “YOU TWO ARE COMING WITH ME” classic Dusknoir villain-arc moment#(he then proceeds to grab Sora by the tail and drag her into the dimensional portal but she struggles and he loses patience)#(so he unleashes a point blank will-o-wisp that causes so much pain she is too busy recoiling and screaming to make an escape)#Hey Dusknoir it was kinda f'ed up to permanently scar a kid like that ngl not your best decision I hope it doesn't haunt you forever#Echo still hates him for it and I'm not sure she'll ever let that particular event go even after they reconcile#also I gave Sora the ability Justified because of the implications that her partner is a dark-type and she also has darkrai-related trauma#the idea of her attack stat raising if Echo accidentally hits her with a move??? like Sora is so scared her stats literally go haywire#that's my idea of angst and it keeps me awake at night#sora/lucario#Team Wish my beloved...#pmd ocs#pmd eos#pmd2#explorers of sky#my art#click for better quality tumblr compressed it like garbage D:
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when he
#hwang hyunjin#stray kids#bystay#createskz#malegroupsnet#a9gifs#hyunjin#flashing tw#*gif#*ccarly#*hyunjin#*carly:hyunjin#this set made me sooooo mad look at him and also the dark ones were so fking hard to color good gawd#theyr'e still ugly but we pretend they're fine ok thanks#200920 hyunjin love of my life this is like the sixth time we've giffed him on yangjeongin but it's what he deserves#i also don't think these are synced up but my internet is so bad they never load at the same time so idk sdfgsdgdfdhd#i'm tired of messing with them anyway so hopefully they're fine <3#back door era i miss you every day fr i love u so dearly#*hits
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Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs
I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.
Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.
But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77
#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :>#but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :]#but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant#Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk#it’s very sweet and healing to me#this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually#oh my god I got so off topic#BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH#like okay. technically#the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault#(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—>#ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit#and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt#but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it#bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad#he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to#told* he shouldn’t#dbhc ask#dbhc#dbhc bdubs#dbhc etho#dbhc doc#dbhc xisuma#ask#anon
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I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants
#adhd#not art#like this only thing I could think about was how understimulated I was#every person was boring because I was in such a severe and chronic state of dopamine deficiency#so I wasn't interested or curious about ANYONE and nobody could 'satiate me' and I deemed everyone boring because of it#then the first week on my meds & I went to visit my neighbor#& I was like 'omg your granddaughter came to visit this weekend? how was she? :)'#and then after I went home and I was like wow she's so sweet and her life seems so interesting I cant wait to talk more about it#and then it hit me I had known her for YEARS and it wasn't until now that I.. cared :(#made me feel really bad but also glad that I actually have the capacity to care and it wasn't just my personality#I had to do a lot of damage control :T but some bridges were burned and I gotta live with that#now I can proudly proclaim that no im not a narcissist bc I think people are interesting and I wanna hear them talk#i can just sit and listen and internalizing their perspective ..#for once I like people and I'm not a victim in some imaginary fight for mediocrity with everyone else#it never excited and im happy to feel that way#also whenever I speak with unmedicated adhders I just look at them like wow you don't even know how much your brain is making itself suffer#every adhder may not want to or can take meds and that's fine but everyone at least deserves to know what it feels when they work
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