#LA RECONCILIATION

[ya-no-la-quiero]

Anónimo

[multifandominfj]

"My heart breaks seeing you like this. If I could do something, anything to prevent your suffering, believe me I would."

Me:

[sefaradweb]

La Levita Gris: cuentos judíos de ambiente porteño

🇦🇷 Samuel Glusberg (nacido en Chisináu, Imperio Ruso, actual Moldavia) fue un autor argentino conocido por sus relatos que exploran la vida judía en Buenos Aires. Sus cinco cuentos más representativos en "La Levita Gris" incluyen historias profundamente humanas, ambientadas en el contexto porteño, marcadas por el duelo, la identidad y las relaciones familiares. En La Levita Gris, un joven lidia con la muerte de su padre y se disfraza con su levita en el Carnaval, lo que provoca la catarsis emocional de su familia. Una patada relata cómo una antigua enemistad entre dos amigos se resuelve de manera sorprendente. En La Quinta Sinfonía, la música de Beethoven sirve como refugio para un amor no correspondido. Mate amargo aborda la inmigración judía y la adaptación cultural en Buenos Aires a principios del siglo XX, mientras que La Princesa Sábado reflexiona sobre la fe y la identidad judía en un gueto porteño. Estas narrativas de Glusberg no solo capturan el dolor y las dificultades, sino también la esperanza, la reconciliación y la pertenencia a una comunidad culturalmente rica.

🇺🇸 Samuel Glusberg (born in Chisinău, Russian Empire, now Moldova) was an Argentine author known for his stories that explore Jewish life in Buenos Aires. His five key short stories in "La Levita Gris" include deeply human tales set in the porteño context, marked by grief, identity, and family relationships. In La Levita Gris, a young man struggles with the death of his father and dresses up in his father’s coat during Carnival, which triggers an emotional release in his family. Una patada tells how an old feud between two friends is resolved in a surprising way. In La Quinta Sinfonía, Beethoven’s music serves as a refuge for unrequited love. Mate amargo addresses Jewish immigration and cultural adaptation in Buenos Aires in the early 20th century, while La Princesa Sábado reflects on faith and Jewish identity in a porteño ghetto. These narratives by Glusberg not only capture pain and struggles but also hope, reconciliation, and belonging to a culturally rich community.

[straynoahide]

g'mar tov to all who observe

it feels stranger this year to live through this day, as a spaniard.

today, it is the national festivity of spain.

actually, it is the feast of something greater, of Hispanity itself, across the world. this world culture and heritage spanning europe, hispano-america (including the US), hispano-africa and hispano-asia... displays of patriotism abound, but also of divisions in each country.

hispanity's mark on the world has a lot to celebrate, but also a lot to deeply regret for many and that is something that is still hard to acknowledge and try to repair or at least ameliorate. today my heart is with the sephardim.

people in iberia are still connected to so many millions of other people, in the most palpable ways through the spanish language and the catholic faith, but also through thousands of other little things that linger in every culture. words, food, traditions, styles of living. lost keys to forgotten orchards and old prayer books left hidden. old houses in quaint towns that have living memory in faraway lands.

one of these is precisely the sephardi culture, without which spain would not be spain.

today is my first yom kippur in personal observance. for many hebrew catholics, jews and non-jews, even those with hispanic heritage, it is also a day of repentance but hopefully hispano-israeli and hispano-jewish reconciliation in general. it is more necessary than ever now when neither spain nor israel's governments (in part tainted by pro-iranian interests in the one side and kahanists in the other) are representative of the best interests and nature of the peoples.

to me, sephardi are eternally hispanic and will have a home in iberia among their own re-building communities, allies and bnei anusim of all nationalities and creeds so long as they want to call spain home. spain was your home once and should always remain so second only to the ancestral homeland itself.

i will keep praying and working for a world where my national and religious heritages no longer clash with each other nor have to be explicitly reconciled. after all, i still believe the world is big enough and we have enough goodness to make it there.

feliz día de la hispanidad, al pueblo sefardí G'mar chatima tova am yisrael chai

[thedragonagelesbian]

dahlian (former craftmaster of clan lavellan and reticent solas-mancing inquisitor) and theneneria (her estranged even more reticent grey warden daughter), my spontaneously generated beloveds of the last 24 hours

[waitingforsecretsouls]

Catching up on Tower of God, and all these theories about how obviously Zahard is the one who did something to Traumerei’s memories and that’s the only reason he could possibly be loyal to him, and as soon as Bam or Gustang or whatever gives him back his memories he’s immediately gonna turn on Zahard are reeeaally weird to me, and diminishing to both Zahard and Traumerei as characters. 

Everything we’be been shown about Traumerei so far paints him as a huge cunt, by choice, who gets off on the suffering of others (which is why he’s a favourite, of course <3 ). When he’s not napping or dead inside he’s short-tempered, capricious and cruel.  A feature not a bug, if you will. While it’s true that we haven’t been shown the origin of his memory-and-emotion-discarding habit we have been shown occasions where he proactively chooses that course of action by himself-in the Yasratcha flashback, where he returned from the Nest to feed some more to Leviathan before dealing with Nen Nen and Wang Wang, and sometime after the incident, if you go by his distorted recollection of the event to Yasratcha. We know from Leviathan that Traumerei is the one who created him and kept feeding ‘filthy’ memories and emotions to him, in quite the amount from what it sounds like. These memories, going by what we know so far, would contain Traumerei at his worst, such as his punishment of Wang Wang, Nen Nen and Yasratcha for example, and likely be coloured by resentment and hatred rather than regret and sorrow (something soldified by Leviathans demeanour, imo) (meaning the current Traumerei is the ‘sanitized’ version).

That aside, how exactly would Zahard have found a way to force Traumerei to cut unwanted memories and emotions out of himself in a way that seems distinctly Traumerei (involving the creation of a Shinheu)? This is not the Hidden Floor, where they were simple data to manipulate and erase (without ill effects to their real/outside selves)! Why would Traumerei have kept up that coping mechanism over the millenia, if it was something forced upon him by Zahard? Why exactly would Zahard himself inquire after Traumerei’s memories, if a key piece of Traumerei’s loyalty to him was their erasure? Zahard himself is the one who brings them up in the first place! What seems like a realtively recent problem to boot, and in a way that seems more eager that he remember and out of worry for an old friend and comrade (’By the way, what kind of nightmares have you been having lately? Do you still not remember?’), (at the end of their strategy meeting, after the ‘business talk’ is already finished) than as some sort of insidious check-up to make sure that he doesn’t remember something from tens of thousands of years ago. It honestly feels like people projecting their dislike of Zahard onto Traumerei, when everything we’ve ever heard about him and are ever shown about him shows him as an ‘enthusiastic’ follower of Zahard and having an absolutely insane treshold of what counts as genuine loyalty. Heck, going by everything about him, it’s more likely that even if he had harboured resentment against Zahard, he would erase it himself to uphold the standard of loyalty he preaches!

In fact, I’d go so far as to say, in view of the Yasratcha flashback and obvious mirroring between him and Traumerei, that it’s far likelier that Traumerei came up with some weird revenge scheme as punishment for ‘abandoning’ him rather than simply being yoinked along by Zahard in something, and that, if he erased his memories because he found them unpleasant to deal with, it was not due to guilt or sorrow but anger and resentment (as we eg. see him exhibit in the flashback upon returning from a trip to the Nest, where he clearly has some leftover frustration).

A lot of fanon seems to view Traumerei as former emotionally softie of the group, who was a poor little meow-meow before he experienced a deep betrayal that emotionally hardened him. While I’m ready to concurr with the latter (and the general fact that the Great Warriors devolved into worse personalities with time) I’d like to point to the examples of what Traumerei perceives as ’betrayals’ in the story, and whether they seem reasonable and justified to feel betrayed by in the first place, or deserving of ‘punishment’, and then reflect upon the likelihood of Traumereis formative betrayal (assuming there is one, definitive one, or that it even involves the Great Warriors) being a cut and dry affair.

As for painting Zahard as the instigator of his unpleasant personality, it reflects an unwillingness to let people other than him be fucked up even though we already know plenty of other family leaders who are, as well as lack of consideration that Zahard might care about some people, like his oldest comrades, and they care about him in turn. Zahard confiding in Traumerei with regards to his views and plans in the first place, Traumerei going above and beyond his assignment to try to turn Bam against Gustang if he proves useful, for example. ‘But the order concering the Poe Bideau family!’- Gustang is the one who stirs the pot in the first place, the one who stole an item whose sole purpose is to defeat Zahard, the one who basically declared if not war certainly conflict, and let it be known that it’s not like Zahard put out a hit on Gustang (which would arguable be pointless, but we do know people as powerful as Eurasia Enne Zahard are capable of getting imprisoned) but merely his family, Gustang’s major instrument for affecting the politics of the Tower.

As of now it seems far more plausible to me for whatever leftover memories that are haunting Traumerei as nightmares to be something done by him instead of to him.

I think that it’s been set up that Traumerei is gonna remember something at the least, and likely something big (maybe eventually prodded by Bam, whom Leviathan told of at least some memories fed to him), but when he does it’s not gonna lead to a sudden heel-turn and alliance, problem solved, but instead a Traumerei actually out for blood, instead of bored and dead inside (anyone remember Bam’s refusal to let Leviathan go free bc ‘if I let it out [...] I’d be committing a sin against the world’ (TOG #531)? That Shinheu formed out of all of Traumerei’s most negative memories and emotions he discarded? That would presumably bubble back up inside Traumerei himself when he remembers?)

To close with a Maschenny quote that summarizes my hopes for Traumerei:

“Has it really disappeared now? That rage of yours? [...] Even if you say that rage has hardened and sunk in your mind, I don’t understand how it could just fly away in the wind like that. It gets more intense and clings to you even more firmly as time passes and you recall those memories. That’s the kind of emotion that rage is. And as long as that rage lives-war can break out at any time.”

-Khun Maschenny Zahard, Tower of God #390

[miaqc1]

Day for Truth and Reconciliation, pixel art. I ordered it from roxas_1 on fiverr.

Day for Truth and Reconciliation [Art] - MiaQc - Original Work [Archive of Our Own]

🪶🧡🪶

Journée nationale de la vérité et de la réconciliation, image en pixels. Je l'ai commandé de roxas_1 sur fiverr.

Journée nationale de la vérité et de la réconciliation [Art] - MiaQc - Original Work [Archive of Our Own]

⚠️ Do not send me PMs requesting me to buy a c0mmissi0n from you! I'll ignore you.⚠️

[mevuelvelocatuboca]

I totally agree and I want to add something.

We can't judge the whole situation and the characters like they were in 2024. It's 1958, family and maritial (or similar) relationship weren't like ours.

People didn't talk like today, not in terms of frequency, not in terms of intimacy. They weren't accostumed to share and analyze their feelings, especially the bad ones.

Every little thing that was out of ordinary was seen like strange, needed to be put in its place.

Especially for someone like Marta, accostumed to be perfect in every moment despite the circumstances, is unthinkable to change all of this in a bunch of weeks or months.

And the fact that Marta and Fina don't share a house, don't have an secure place were they can be themselfs in front of the other without constantly feel the fear, is something that could be wreck anyone.

So when they will face the fact that they need this kind of place, that they need to really share their life with each other, it will be amazing but it will cost energy and a lot of effort from both sides. This is something very difficult nowadays, I don't want to imagine what could have been at the time.

People on Twitter being disappointed Marta did not spill her guts to Fina over the Gervasio situation?

Ugh, I can’t even begin to fathom the kind of shame and despair Marta must be feeling after finding our her father is just as vile as her brother.

No wonder she’s so closed off in the aftermath, her armor back on. Her entire world is crushing down around her and she’s barely given time to process it. On the contrary, responsibilities just keep piling up. She needs time to order her thoughts and feelings, and to stop reeling from it all.

Not to mention she’s so used to being alone and having no support or understanding that, right now, she’s on auto-pilot. Even with all the progress she’s made thanks to Fina, at the moment she’s back to her default settings.

Not to mention, time-line wise, her relationship with Fina is still quite new, so she’s not used to pouring her heart out. She’s not used to allowing herself to be emotional. In her family they don’t talk, they don’t share. They simply shove it all down and pretend all is well.

So far, Marta has only let her guard down, all the way, a couple of times. First, when she was trying to rewrite the story for Jaime and cried in front of Fina: one of the few times she’s ever shown herself so openly vulnerable. And second, if we consider her breakdown in the kitchen after Jaime’s death. However, Fina just so happened to find Marta as she was crying her heart out. And that’s how she allowed herself to be held and comforted. That’s how she let herself embrace the healing power of being understood and supported in her time of need, of being held and given space to grieve. And right now she’s grieving again. For her uncle’s dire fate, which could so easily be her own, for the loss of the family she thought she knew, for the loss of her best friend, for the possible loss of her aunt and the ever-looming threat of a cruel and unkind world who could wrench Fina from her arms at any given moment.

But all in all. Change is incremental. After wearing her armor for 40 years, relearning certain behavioral patterns doesn’t happen over night. The good thing is, Marta has undergone immense change since the beginning of the series. This is nothing but one more hurdle to overcome. And if there’s no drama, there’s no series. Marta’s character arc has been one of the most satisfying, if not the most satisfying to watch unfold. I’ve confidence she’ll brave the storm with Fina by her side, once she’s had the chance to brace against the sudden winds, wipe the rain from her eyes and see clearly again.

Right now, she’s too overwhelmed and weighed down by uncovering the kind of despicable people her bother and father are. She might even, irrationally, fear that she’s tainted by association, given she already believes her family name is a curse and a burden. Not to mention the terror of realizing she might not be able to protect Fina after all, that their new- found sense of relief might prove to be a curtain of smoke.

We’ll see. But I think Marta and Fina will find a way to make it work and triumph together. Of course there’ll be obstacles. A show like this needs its heavy dose of curvas. But I trust these two will always find their way to each other, as they learn to navigate all kinds of situations together. And they’ll be all the stronger for it.

[multifandominfj]

Hang this in The Lourve! 🤌🏻🥹❤️

[reidmarieprentiss]

Lost in Translation: Part One

Summary: Six years after Spencer Reid left you all alone in your dorm room, you’ve moved on and built a new life in Virginia, becoming close friends with Derek Morgan. When Spencer unexpectedly reappears as part of Derek’s team, old feelings resurface.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: angst, friendly fluff

Warnings/Includes: alcohol consumption, past rejection, reflecting on past hurt, seeing the person who hurt you, Spencer still being a dumb man, talks of past hook ups

Word count: 9.2k

a/n: hiiii this is kind of a filler? it's just a lot of angst and build up for the reconciliation 👀

main masterlist prologue part two part three part four

Six years later, Reid sat on the back of an ambulance, the adrenaline of the situation slowly ebbing away as medics checked him over. His hair was mussed, and his face bore bruises from the day's takedown, but his eyes were clear, focused, if a little distant. Hotch approached, relief etched across his face, but concern still lingering in his eyes as he looked down at Reid.

“I hope I didn’t hurt you too badly,” Hotch said, his tone light, though laced with genuine worry.

Reid glanced up, then looked off into the distance, a wistful smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Hotch,” he said, pausing for just a moment before meeting his gaze, “I was a 12-year-old child prodigy in a Las Vegas public high school.” He let the statement hang in the air for effect before adding, “You kick like a 9-year-old girl.”

Hotch’s serious expression cracked into a grin, the tension of the day releasing in that shared moment of humor. He gave Reid an appreciative nod, proud that even now, even after everything, he could find a way to see the light in the darkness. They’d taken a risk to apprehend the unsub—a risk that had paid off. The case was closed, and most importantly, Spencer was okay.

Once the team returned to Quantico, Penelope Garcia came barreling toward them like a whirlwind, eyes wide with concern as she made a beeline for Spencer. 

“Oh my God, are you okay?” she asked, fussing over him, brushing nonexistent dust off his jacket. “I heard what happened, and I nearly had a heart attack, and you know how hard I work to keep this heart in tip-top shape.”

Derek let out a chuckle, looping an arm around Spencer's shoulders and giving him a good-natured shake. “Don't worry, Baby Girl,” he said. “Pretty Boy here is tougher than he looks.”

Elle stood nearby, a smirk tugging at her lips. “So what do you say, Reid? Can we take you out for a drink to celebrate? Show you a little team bonding now that we’re back in one piece?”

The offer made Spencer stiffen, a flicker of unease passing through his eyes. He hadn’t had his first drink yet—never quite found the right moment. His last encounter with alcohol flashed through his mind, from when he was still working on his PhD. He'd been at a party, talking to someone he wanted to take home... until they got too drunk and threw up on him, which put him off the idea of drinking ever since.

“Uhh,” Spencer started, rubbing the back of his neck as he awkwardly shrugged Derek’s arm off. “I’m not sure—”

“Nuh-uh,” Derek cut him off with a playful but firm shake of his head. “None of that, kid. You’re part of this team, and it’s time we show you what that means. Drinks on us. One drink won’t hurt, right?” 

Spencer looked between them—Derek’s grin, Elle’s teasing smile, and Penelope’s excited nodding—and felt the reluctant pull of acceptance. They weren’t going to take no for an answer, and for a moment, he let himself relax. Maybe a night out with the team wouldn't be so bad.

The bar was loud and buzzing with life. The team was clustered around a table, drinks in hand, and the mood was light, almost celebratory. Laughter echoed over clinking glasses as Derek teased Spencer about finally being out for drinks, Elle and JJ swapped jokes, and Hotch even cracked a rare smile as Penelope regaled everyone with her overly-dramatic reenactment of their last case. Spencer found himself laughing along, more relaxed than he thought he’d be, though he stayed firmly planted with his untouched glass of club soda.

Amid the fun, Derek's phone buzzed loudly, and he stood to answer it, holding up a hand to excuse himself. “Hold that thought, guys,” he said, flashing his signature grin as he walked a little away from the table, pressing the phone to his ear. The team continued their conversation, only pausing when Derek returned, looking apologetic.

“Sorry, guys,” he said, tucking his phone into his back pocket. “My lady is in distress; I gotta go rescue her from a bad date.”

That earned a round of good-natured chuckles from the team. Elle raised an eyebrow, asking, “Need us to come with, knight in shining armor?”

But Spencer, the one to always take things literally, frowned in confusion. “Your girlfriend is on a date with someone else?” he asked, tilting his head like he was trying to figure out a complex puzzle.

That only made everyone laugh harder, JJ practically doubling over and Hotch shaking his head with amusement. Derek just clapped Spencer on the back, his chuckle deep and hearty. 

Penelope, ever the playful dramatist, wiped away an imaginary tear. “As much as it pains me that my Chocolate Thunder has another woman in his life,” she sighed, draping an arm dramatically over her forehead, “that’s his best friend, not his girlfriend. He’s just playing superhero tonight.”

“Yeah, she’s just my little lady,” Derek explained, still smiling as he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair. “And trust me, she needs saving from some pretty questionable dates.”

Spencer nodded slowly, his eyes darting around as if processing this new piece of social information, a small “ohhh” escaping his lips as he finally understood. The rest of the team just laughed and clinked their glasses together, waving Derek off as he headed out to play the role of rescuer once again.

—

You smiled awkwardly, forcing a laugh as you tapped your foot under the table, hoping the nervous rhythm would hide your growing discomfort. Across from you, your date sat with an overly self-satisfied grin, clearly pleased with themselves for whatever joke they’d just told. 

“Funny, right?” they said, leaning back confidently, their voice loud enough to make a few heads turn.

“Mhm,” you nodded, plastering on your best smile, the kind you’d practiced for uncomfortable situations just like this. “So funny.” 

The date was dragging on, each minute feeling like an hour, and you kept glancing at the exit, hoping for some way to end it without seeming rude. You were running out of excuses when finally, you heard a familiar, steady voice that filled you with instant relief.

“Y/N! Baby!” Derek’s voice boomed from behind you, his face contorted into a fake, but convincingly angry, expression as he made his way over to your table. “It’s time to go,” he said through gritted teeth, playing the role perfectly.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, exaggerating your surprise as you quickly gathered your things, casting a regretful glance at your bewildered date. “Sorry, I have to—um, gotta go, you know how it is.”

“Now,” Derek growled, his eyes flashing dangerously as he reached for your arm with a protective grip. You couldn’t help the grin tugging at your lips as he pulled you away, your heart racing with gratitude at how he always showed up just in time to save you from situations exactly like this.

As soon as the two of you stepped outside, you burst into laughter, the tension from the horrible date evaporating with each breathless chuckle. “What was that?” you cried out in amusement, doubling over as you tried to catch your breath.

Derek grinned, looking far too pleased with himself. “I thought it would be funny to make it look like you were cheating on me,” he said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

You laughed again, shaking your head as you nudged him playfully. “Wow, thanks, Derek. That’s just great! I’m sure they think I’m a horrible person now.”

“Better they think that than you being stuck in there any longer,” he teased, shrugging playfully. “Besides, who wouldn’t want to believe they were dating me?” He gave a mock-innocent smile, and you couldn't help but laugh harder, grateful that your night had turned from painfully awkward to genuinely fun—all thanks to your "knight" in his shining sense of humor.

—

After graduation, you packed up and moved to Virginia, seeking a fresh start and the next chapter of your life. It didn’t take long for you to meet Derek Morgan—charismatic, warm, and the kind of person who instantly made you feel like you’d known each other forever. Quickly, you were inseparable, your friendship deepening with every shared joke, every late-night conversation.

When you first met Derek, it wasn’t at a bar, but in the paint aisle of a hardware store. He was standing there, staring at the rows of paint swatches like they might leap off the shelf and attack him, clearly out of his element. You, meanwhile, were lost in your shopping list, trying to mentally organize what you needed. It wasn’t until you absentmindedly turned and bumped into him, sending a few swatches fluttering to the floor, that either of you spoke.

“Oh, sorry!” you said, laughing awkwardly as you bent to pick up the fallen cards. “I didn’t see you there.”

“No problem,” Derek replied with a chuckle, scratching the back of his head. “Though, I think I need all the help I can get. You know anything about paint? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure these swatches are written in a different language.”

You hesitated for a moment, glancing at the paint chips in his hand. Normally, you’d have kept to yourself, but something about his friendly demeanor made it easy to offer help. “Well,” you said, pointing at the colors, “if you’re looking for something neutral but warm, I’d go with this one. It’s versatile, and won’t make the room feel too dark.”

Derek grinned, visibly relieved. “I like the way you think. You might’ve just saved me from turning my place into a disaster.”

That lighthearted, slightly awkward interaction became the start of an unexpected friendship. You didn’t realize it then, but Derek saw more than just someone who could offer advice on paint. He noticed the cautious way you carried yourself, the hesitation in your voice, and the guarded way you held back, even in a simple conversation. It was subtle, but Derek could sense it—that you were someone who had been hurt, someone who was used to keeping people at arm’s length.

It was in that moment, after you helped him, that Derek decided he wasn’t going to let you disappear into the background. He saw someone who needed a friend, even if you didn’t know it yet, and he was determined to be that person for you.

He pushed his way into your world, piece by piece, until you found yourself leaning on him, confiding in him, and letting him be the kind of friend you never thought you'd find again. Derek was determined to be there for you, and in a way you never saw coming, he had become the person who would stand by you, even when you were reluctant to let him in.

Over time, you confided in Derek about your college heartbreak, sharing all the hurt, the confusion, and the sense of betrayal that still lingered. You never mentioned names, though—the pain was still too raw, and you couldn’t bring yourself to talk about it in more detail than necessary. Derek listened, always understanding, never pressing for more than you were ready to share. He knew when to joke to make you laugh and when to sit in silence to let you breathe.

At first, the attraction between you and Derek was undeniable. His charming smile, his confidence—it was easy to get lost in that. One night, curiosity and chemistry got the better of you both, and you found yourselves in a brief, passionate rendezvous. But once the moment passed, you both realized that while there was undeniable physical chemistry, the emotional spark that would take you beyond a fling wasn’t there.

So, you stayed friends—really good friends. And it was a decision that felt right. Derek became your closest companion, someone you trusted deeply, someone who knew all of you without needing to be anything more than your best friend. And from then on, your bond was stronger than any attraction that had once been between you.

Derek had always been eager to introduce you to his team, his “family,” as he called them. But every time he brought it up, you found yourself hesitant, a lingering anxiety wrapping tightly around your chest. The thought of meeting a group of strangers made your pulse quicken, and after what happened with Spencer, you found it hard to let people in—afraid that they’d get close only to walk out when you finally let your guard down.

But Derek was persistent. He’d reassure you that they’d love you, that they were good people, that they’d make you feel right at home. And after months of coaxing, he finally wore you down. So on the night he arranged for everyone to meet at a bar, you arrived early, nerves buzzing through you as you kept fidgeting with your glass of water, the ice clinking noisily. Derek sat beside you, his hand casually draped over the back of your chair, giving you little reassuring nudges and playful teasing to calm you down. 

It wasn’t long before they arrived—Elle, JJ, Hotch, and Penelope. They came in together, the energy between them electric and warm, like a group who had seen each other through everything and then some. You felt the weight of their eyes on you as Derek quickly waved them over, and before you knew it, introductions were happening all at once. 

Elle, with her steady, confident smile. JJ, kind and instantly friendly, making you feel a little more at ease. Hotch was reserved but polite, offering you a nod that felt more comforting than intimidating. And Penelope—bright, enthusiastic, and full of life—immediately pulled you into a hug that you didn’t quite expect but somehow needed.

“Welcome to the team... kinda!” Penelope laughed, pulling back to look you up and down, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

The team was warm, and their humor put you at ease more than you expected. “Derek told me you were gorgeous, but wow!” Penelope said, grinning as she gestured to your outfit. “He did not do you justice! I should've known he’d undersell a masterpiece.”

You blushed, ducking your head, and Derek rolled his eyes playfully. “Oh, come on, Garcia, now you’re just making her nervous,” he said, leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying the playful teasing.

“Someone has to make up for your terrible intro,” Elle joked, raising her drink in your direction. “He probably didn’t even tell you our names before dragging you here, did he?”

“Well, actually—” you started to defend him, but JJ leaned in with a grin.

“Oh, he probably did,” she said, flashing a knowing smile. “But did he tell you the good stuff? Because Hotch over here is not just any team leader—he’s secretly a rock star at karaoke.”

Hotch looked up from his drink, arching an eyebrow with mock disapproval. “Secretly, JJ?” he said dryly. “If I remember correctly, you were the one who signed us all up for ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ last time.”

The conversation flowed smoothly, light and airy, with everyone sharing bits of their day and funny anecdotes about past cases. You were finally feeling like you could relax, laughing along with the team and even chiming in here and there. Penelope asked about your work, Hotch teased Derek about his dedication to “fitness,” and JJ leaned in with questions about your interests, trying to make you feel comfortable.

Then Elle, who had been quietly observing, tilted her head with a curious smile. “So, Y/N,” she said, her eyes twinkling with humor, “we heard Derek had to save you from a bad date last week.”

A groan escaped you before you could help it, and Derek let out a bark of laughter beside you. “Oh, man, don’t make her relive that nightmare,” he said, shaking his head.

“No, no, it’s okay,” you said, smiling despite yourself as all eyes turned to you, eager for details. “I mean... yeah, I was on a pretty terrible date. The kind where you just... start praying for a natural disaster to get you out of there.”

Penelope gasped, holding a hand to her heart. “Spill! What happened?”

“Okay, okay,” you said, waving your hands, “So I’m sitting there, right? And this person—well, let’s just say they were a little too confident. They started cracking all these jokes that were... I mean, I think they thought they were funny, but they were more like... really weird stand-up comedy? And then, out of nowhere, they start quizzing me on, like, the most random trivia ever.”

JJ snorted into her drink. “Like what?”

“Like, ‘What’s the capital of Paraguay?’” you said, imitating your date’s deep, overly-serious tone. “And when I didn’t know, he looked at me like I just insulted his whole family.”

The whole table burst into laughter, and Derek shook his head, leaning back with a smirk. “See, I told you—you dodged a bullet there, lady.”

“And that’s where Derek came in,” you continued, grinning. “He stormed in, looking like an angry boyfriend ready to throw down, and said ‘Baby, we gotta go—now.’ Scared the poor chap half to death.”

“That’s my Derek,” Elle said, raising her glass in a toast.

You shrugged with a playful smile. “Gotta admit, it was a pretty solid rescue.”

Penelope’s eyes shone as she giggled, “I wish I knew I could call on Derek every time I get stuck on a boring date. You’re lucky you used it!”

“Yeah,” you said, your smile turning genuine as you looked over at Derek, who just winked at you. “I am lucky.”

You felt the anxiety still fluttering inside but found yourself starting to relax in the presence of their welcoming smiles. Maybe Derek was right—maybe this could be the start of something good.

But that thought was ruined the moment Spencer walked into the bar, a wave of panic hit you like a tidal wave, your pulse spiking as you leaned into Derek, whispering frantically, “That’s the guy!”

“What guy?” Derek asked, his brow furrowing in concern as he leaned closer.

“The guy from college! The one who led me on? Smashed and dashed? Broke my heart?”

Derek’s eyes went wide as the realization hit him, and he started to push up his sleeves, his expression shifting from confusion to determination. “Oh shit. Which one? I need to go have a little chat with this asshole.”

“That one!” you pointed discreetly, your voice tight with urgency. “String bean, 10 o’clock.”

Derek’s gaze followed your finger, his mouth opening in disbelief. “Spencer?”

“Wait,” you froze, eyes darting between Derek and Spencer. “How do you know Spencer?”

Derek blinked rapidly, running a hand over his face. “No way. No fucking way.”

“What, Derek, what?” you asked, anxiety gnawing at your insides.

“Derek, what’s going on?” Elle asked, noticing the tension suddenly spiking at the table.

But before either of you could explain, Spencer was already walking toward your group. And without hesitation, Derek shouted across the room, loud enough for the whole bar to hear, “Spencer Reid, you whore!”

The bar fell into stunned silence, every conversation dropping as heads turned toward Derek and then to Spencer, who froze mid-step. The confused, panicked look on Spencer’s face was mirrored by the team around you, all of them staring at Derek as if waiting for some kind of explanation. 

But none of that mattered, because the second Derek’s words hung in the air, you felt like you were going to combust. Your chest tightened, your ears burned, and you needed to escape—now. 

You couldn’t bear the sight of Spencer standing there, eyes wide and confused, especially not when he looked so good—his curls a bit longer, his frame more filled out but still carrying that awkwardly endearing energy you remembered all too well. It only made the hurt twist deeper in your chest, the flood of memories rushing back as if no time had passed at all.

Before anyone could say a word, you bolted out of your seat, practically running toward the exit, your breaths coming in shallow gasps as you pushed through the door, away from the memories, the hurt, and the undeniable pull that Spencer still seemed to have on you.

After Derek’s loud declaration, the team was left bumbling in confusion, their chatter overlapping as they tried to make sense of what had just happened.

“Wait, what did you just say?” JJ asked, her eyes darting between Derek and Spencer, trying to catch up. 

“Did you just call Reid a whore?” Elle added, her voice rising with disbelief.

Hotch's expression hardened with concern and confusion, his eyes narrowing at Derek. “Care to explain what’s going on here?”

Meanwhile, Penelope’s gaze darted frantically between you, Derek, and the stunned Spencer, her mouth hanging open as if trying to piece together a puzzle with half the pieces missing. “Okay, someone fill me in, because this is getting juicy—”

Through it all, Derek’s eyes were locked on Spencer like a hawk eyeing its prey, shoulders squared, jaw tight, and very ready to pounce. Spencer was still standing frozen in place, his expression an awkward mix of shock, confusion, and now—seeing Derek’s glare—genuine fear. He didn’t know whether to step forward, run, or explain himself. It was as if the whole bar had gone silent, the weight of everyone's eyes pressing down on him like a spotlight he couldn’t escape.

“Pretty boy,” Derek said, his voice low and almost menacing as he kept his eyes locked on Spencer. The tension between them was palpable, the friendly atmosphere of moments ago evaporating into something heavy and dangerous. “Over here. Now.”

Spencer swallowed hard, glancing around the bar as if trying to find an escape route, but there was none—just the team’s bewildered faces and Derek’s unwavering stare. Slowly, hesitantly, he started walking toward the table, his eyes darting nervously between the team and Derek, clearly aware that whatever was going on was about to explode. 

The whole team was silent, eyes wide as they watched the confrontation unfold, utterly confused but drawn in, unable to look away.

“What’s going on, Derek?” Spencer’s voice came out weak, barely holding it together as he stood awkwardly in front of the table, hands fidgeting at his sides. He glanced nervously at Derek’s clenched jaw, clearly realizing this wasn’t just some joke he wasn’t in on.

Derek huffed, his eyes narrowing further as he stood up to step closer to Spencer, his presence towering over him. “Y/N Y/L,” he said, the name coming out like a loaded accusation. “Ring a bell?”

The color drained from Spencer’s face, his expression shifting from confusion to sheer panic. Of course, he knew that name. He knew it well—he’d never forgotten. You never gave him your full name, but that hadn’t stopped him from wanting to know everything about you after that night. And so, in a moment of curiosity, guilt, and longing, he’d used his professor access to look you up in the university directory, hoping to learn more, hoping to... maybe reach out. But he'd never followed through, instead burying that memory deep, where he thought it would stay forever.

Now, that past had clawed its way to the surface. Spencer gulped, eyes wide, his voice coming out as a barely audible mumble. “Um... why?”

The whole team’s heads bobbed back and forth between the two men like they were watching a tennis match, confusion written all over their faces. JJ’s brow furrowed in disbelief, Elle leaned forward as if ready to pounce on whatever truth was about to spill out, and Penelope’s eyes sparkled with intrigue, biting back a question to let the moment unfold.

“Because she was just sitting here,” Derek said, his voice darkening with barely contained anger, “and when you walked in, she ran out.”

The weight of his words dropped like a bomb, and the team’s eyes widened in sudden understanding. It took a moment for the pieces to fall into place, but when they did, the tension in the air became almost suffocating.

“Wait...” Elle gasped, covering her mouth with her hand as the realization hit her. “Is that what Y/N was whispering about?”

JJ's eyes darted to Spencer, shock and disappointment painted across her face. “Oh my god, Spencer!” she exclaimed, her voice rising above the din of the bar. “What did you do?”

Spencer's head hung low, his face pale as all eyes landed on him, his teammates' judgment clear in their expressions. He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out—he was caught between the truth, the shame, and the past he’d tried so hard to forget.

The tall man let out a long breath and sat down heavily at the table, facing the expectant and confused gazes of his team. He hesitated, struggling to find the right words, the truth weighed down by layers of regret and fear. But there was no hiding from this now, and he knew he had to explain.

“I... I didn’t really talk about this before, but during my PhD days, I had a bit of a... busy intimate life,” he started, his voice low and wavering. He avoided eye contact, staring at the table like he could find his words hidden in the wood grain. “I was young, and it was my first time experiencing freedom like that. There were a lot of... flings, one-time things. A lot of people came and went.”

The team remained silent, eyes fixed on him, soaking in every word. Hotch sat back with his arms crossed, his face unreadable, while JJ and Penelope exchanged a shocked glance. Elle leaned in, not wanting to miss a single detail.

“And then I met Y/N,” Spencer continued, a small, wistful smile ghosting over his lips at the memory. “We started out just... bumping into each other, especially in the library. Thursdays became our thing, and before I knew it, we were friends—real friends. And I... I fell for her, hard.”

Derek’s jaw tightened as Spencer spoke, clearly trying to hold his tongue. But he stayed silent, trying to remain calm and listen, though his knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the table.

“One night, before the summer break, we hung out and... well, things got intimate,” Spencer confessed, his voice trailing off as if he could still remember every detail of that night. “But then, afterward, I... panicked. I’d been left before by people who only wanted one thing, and I was so sure Y/N would do the same. So I left before she could leave me. I thought I was protecting myself.”

The silence that followed was heavy, the team processing everything they’d just heard. Penelope’s mouth hung open in disbelief, and JJ’s face was a mix of understanding and disappointment. Elle just stared, eyes wide as she tried to piece together this new side of Spencer she had never seen before.

Derek leaned back, trying to take deep breaths to stay objective, but it was clear he was struggling to reconcile this side of Spencer with the man he knew—and with your story, the pain you'd carried for so long.

Finally, the silence broke when Elle, still processing everything, blurted out, “I thought you were a virgin.”

The unexpected comment drew a stifled chuckle from Hotch, who quickly tried to cover it with a cough, shaking his head as he glanced away to regain his composure. Spencer shot a look of offense around the table, his cheeks turning red from embarrassment.

“That’s not the point,” Derek said sharply, steering the conversation back to its heart. His tone softened but stayed firm. “You broke her heart, kid.”

Spencer’s expression crumbled with shame, his eyes dropping to his hands fidgeting in his lap. “I... I didn’t know that,” he said quietly, sounding more vulnerable than any of them had ever heard him. “She was... she was here? Tonight?”

Penelope nodded solemnly, her usually bright demeanor clouded with concern. “Yeah, she was sitting right with us,” she said gently. “She ran out. Spencer, she ran right past you.” 

Spencer’s face fell, the weight of what he’d done settling heavily on his shoulders as he replayed the moment in his mind—the stranger rushing past, too fast for him to recognize, too wrapped in his own world to realize the depth of pain he had caused.

—

Flashback

After you fell asleep with your head resting on Spencer’s chest, he stayed awake, propped up on one arm, his other hand idly tracing shapes on your back. The rise and fall of your gentle breaths sent soft puffs of warmth against his skin, and the sound of your slow, even breathing filled the quiet room. Spencer watched you with a tender smile on his face, his heart swelling with every peaceful sigh you let out.

For that moment, everything was perfect—the warmth of your body against his, the soft glow of the moonlight through the window, and the quiet intimacy of sharing a bed after everything that had happened between you. He couldn't help but let his thoughts wander, to imagine waking up like this every morning, to imagine the rest of his life with you beside him, sharing sleepy smiles and whispered secrets in the quiet of dawn.

And that's when the panic hit.

The thought of getting so close to you, of letting his heart fall so fully and completely for you, terrified him. He had spent so long protecting himself, closing off his emotions to keep from being hurt, that the idea of letting you in was too overwhelming. He was sure that, like everyone else, you’d leave, and he didn't think he could handle the pain if it came from you. He felt the fear grip him tight, his pulse quickening as he realized what it meant—that he had to go, now, before he fell any deeper.

As much as it broke his heart, Spencer carefully slipped out from under you, moving inch by inch to keep from waking you. But when he finally pulled away, your face scrunched up in your sleep, and your arm reached out instinctively, searching for the place he had just been. The sight nearly broke him, and for a moment, he almost crawled back into bed, almost let himself stay.

But the fear was stronger. He left, quietly slipping out into the dark, knowing he would never see you again, knowing that the one chance at something real was lost the second he closed that door behind him.

—

As soon as you got home, you collapsed onto your bed, the soft sheets barely registering beneath you as you clung to a pillow, burying your face in it. The tears came fast, heavy sobs shaking your body as the weight of everything you’d been holding in finally poured out. Memories of Spencer rushed back in a flood—the way he’d held you, the tender words he’d whispered in the quiet of the night, and the intimacy you had shared.

You knew, even before it happened, that sleeping with him was a mistake. You’d told yourself as much a thousand times. But the moment he left you, without so much as a word afterward, it felt like that final blow to your heart—confirming everything you feared. The pain of being abandoned, of realizing that maybe you had meant nothing to him after all, tore at you with a fierceness that left you breathless. You hugged the pillow tighter, the softness no comfort to the ache inside.

You cried yourself to sleep that night, every emotion too overwhelming to bear. The embarrassment of bolting from the bar in front of Spencer’s team, the fear of realizing he was now part of your immediate circle, and the deep grief over what could have been. It was too much. The tears had left your eyes swollen and your throat raw, your body exhausted from the turmoil swirling inside you.

When you woke the next morning, groggy and disoriented, the sound of your phone buzzing pulled you from the comfort of sleep. Fumbling for it, you squinted at the screen before bringing it to your ear, your voice thick with sleep. “Hello?” you managed, slurred through the haze of morning grogginess.

“Hey, baby,” Derek’s familiar, warm voice sighed through the line. “I’m at your door with tea. Let me in?”

A disgruntled huff escaped you, not exactly ready to face the day, but you still dragged yourself out of bed. You padded over to the door and opened it, finding Derek standing there with two cups of tea and a look of understanding. Without saying a word, you took the cup he offered, wrapping your hands around the warmth and letting it soothe the ache in your chest as you sipped.

Wordlessly, the two of you made your way to your tiny balcony, the fresh morning air brushing softly against your skin. You both settled into the cozy, cushioned nook—Derek’s arm draped over your shoulder as you leaned into his warmth. The silence stretched between you, comfortable and unpressured. Derek didn’t push you to speak, letting you take your time, knowing you needed the quiet after everything.

For a long while, the soft hum of the city below and the gentle sway of plants on your balcony were the only sounds filling the space. It wasn’t until you’d both nearly finished your tea that Derek finally spoke.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, his voice soft but filled with care, his gaze watching you carefully, ready to listen.

You sighed heavily, your fingers tightening around the warm ceramic of your mug. “I never thought I’d see him again,” you admitted, shaking your head as you tried to process the shock of it all. “What are the odds?”

Derek, ever the one to lighten the mood, snorted softly. “I bet Spencer would know the answer to that,” he quipped, a small grin tugging at his lips.

You turned to glare at him, shooting him a look that clearly said not funny. Derek raised his hands in surrender, his grin faltering. “Sorry. Too soon?”

You nodded, sighing as you leaned back into the cushions. “It’s always too soon with... him,” you said, your voice weighed down by all the unspoken emotions you hadn’t yet unpacked.

Derek shifted beside you, the teasing gone from his expression now as he grew serious again. “He told us what happened, you know?” he said quietly, as if trying not to make it worse but knowing you had to hear it.

Your chest tightened at the thought, embarrassment rising again. “Great,” you muttered, your voice tinged with bitterness. “That’s even more humiliating. The entire team knows now?”

“Yeah,” Derek admitted softly, nodding as he looked at you with sympathy. “But they also know it was him who messed up, not you.”

You stared down into your cup, feeling the sting of tears welling up again, threatening to spill over. The warmth of Derek beside you was a comfort, but it wasn’t enough to lift the heavy burden pressing on your chest. His words, meant to soothe, only left you feeling more confused, more vulnerable.

“What do you mean?” you asked softly, barely above a whisper, your voice shaky with emotion. You didn’t dare look up, afraid that making eye contact would break the fragile barrier keeping the tears at bay.

Derek took a deep breath, shifting slightly as if choosing his words carefully. “At the bar, after you ran out... Spencer sat down with the team, and we... we didn’t know what was going on at first. So we asked.”

You finally looked up at him, your brows furrowing slightly, a mix of anticipation and dread building in your stomach.

“He told us about his time during his PhD,” Derek continued gently, his voice calm, as if he was trying to soften the blow. “Said he... he slept around a lot back then, had a lot of one-night things, you know? And then he met you. Told us how you two became friends, how it wasn’t like the other times.”

Your heart clenched at his words. Hearing it from Derek made it real in a way that felt almost unbearable. You squeezed your mug tighter, the warmth doing nothing to soothe the ache in your chest.

“He said after you two slept together,” Derek went on, “he panicked. Thought you’d leave him, like everyone else had. So he left first.”

You blinked rapidly, trying to keep your tears from spilling, but it was no use. You could feel the sharp sting in your throat, the familiar ache of heartache you thought you’d buried long ago. “He left because he thought I’d leave?” you asked, your voice thick with disbelief and hurt.

Derek nodded, his eyes full of sympathy. “Yeah... He thought he was protecting himself. But, obviously, he regrets it now.”

You didn’t know how to respond. The conflicting emotions—anger, sadness, confusion—swirled inside you, leaving you breathless. Spencer had left because he was afraid of losing you, and in doing so, he broke you. And now, all these years later, you were supposed to find comfort in knowing he regretted it?

“So that’s why he never... reached out?” you whispered, more to yourself than to Derek.

“Yeah,” Derek said softly. “He was scared. Scared that you’d see him like all the others did—someone to use and then leave.”

“Basically, he’s a coward and a moron?” you asked, your voice flat but sharp with anger, needing to hear it said out loud to fully grasp the ridiculousness of it all.

Derek chuckled softly, a wry smile pulling at his lips. “Yup. That sums it up,” he said, rubbing your arm in slow, soothing circles. His voice remained calm, but he could sense the storm brewing inside you. “Do you think you’ll want to see him again?”

“Fuck no,” you snapped without hesitation, the words coming out harsher than you expected, but you didn’t care. “He ruined any chance he had with me. He broke my heart, and all because he was scared?” The bitterness in your voice rose as the anger bubbled to the surface, mixing with the lingering pain. “I hate him.”

Derek’s smile faded into something softer, more sympathetic as he listened to you vent. He could feel the intensity of your emotions, the raw hurt that still lingered beneath the surface. But he didn’t push you further, just stayed close, offering his quiet support.

“I get it,” he said softly. “You’re allowed to be mad, to feel all of it.”

You nodded, though the tears were already blurring your vision again. The anger felt good, cathartic in a way, but it didn’t take away the hurt. Spencer had shattered something inside you, and no explanation, no regret from him could change that.

Derek stayed with you for the rest of the day, determined to lift your spirits and bring some lightness back into the heavy atmosphere that had settled over you. After the emotional morning, he suggested a change of pace—a "no more thinking about him" kind of day.

The two of you moved back inside, and after raiding your fridge, you ended up sprawled out on the couch with a pile of snacks between you. Derek flipped through channels until he landed on an old action movie, something so absurd and over-the-top it was impossible not to laugh at the cheesy explosions and dramatic one-liners.

As the movie played in the background, you both sat there, munching on chips and teasing each other. “If I ever get into a high-speed chase, I’ll make sure to drive into an alley with just enough space for me to barely escape, but the bad guys can’t,” Derek quipped, waving a chip in the air like it was his master plan.

“Obviously,” you laughed, nudging him with your shoulder. “Because clearly, that’s what makes you invincible.”

“Oh, I’m invincible, baby,” Derek grinned, flexing his arm dramatically. “I don’t need an alley to escape the bad guys.”

You rolled your eyes, laughing at his theatrics. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll see how ‘invincible’ you are next time you try to carry all the grocery bags at once and drop the eggs.”

Derek clutched his chest in mock horror. “Low blow, Y/N. You know I was saving us from multiple trips.”

“Sure, sure,” you teased, tossing a chip at him. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Mr. Invincible.”

He caught the chip mid-air and popped it into his mouth, smirking as he chewed. “Not everyone can be as perfect as you, baby.”

The day passed in a blur of easy conversation, laughter, and moments of comfortable silence. Derek didn’t push you to talk about anything heavy, and the weight that had sat on your chest all morning began to lift, replaced with the warmth of knowing you had a friend who could make you forget the world for a little while.

By the end of the day, you were curled up under a blanket, feeling lighter than you had in days.

—

“Derek!” Spencer called out, jogging to catch up just as Derek was waiting for the elevator. His breath was a little ragged, his urgency clear. He needed to talk, needed to know.

Derek turned, his eyes scanning Spencer’s face, reading the familiar mix of emotions. He had softened toward Spencer since the initial blow-up, knowing that his friend was hurting too. Spencer had made a mess of things, but he was still one of Derek’s closest friends, and Derek couldn’t ignore his struggle.

“Sup, Reid?” Derek greeted casually, though there was a layer of understanding beneath the light tone.

“Hi, um,” Spencer panted, catching his breath from the jog. “Did you see Y/N again this weekend?”

Derek nodded, his expression softening even further. “Yeah, I did.”

Spencer’s eyes flickered with hope and uncertainty, hesitating before speaking again. He clearly wanted to ask more, but the words seemed caught in his throat. Derek saw the struggle and decided to give him an out.

"Come on, man. Let’s grab a drink," Derek offered, nodding toward the door as the elevator opened. He knew this conversation was going to be heavier than a quick exchange by the elevators.

A little while later, the two of them were sitting side by side at the bar. Their beers sat untouched, the weight of their conversation lingering between them. Spencer had been unusually quiet all night, his usual rambling replaced by a tension that had been hanging over him since he saw you again.

“So,” Spencer began cautiously, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass as if the movement could steady his thoughts. “Uh... how’s Y/N been?”

Derek exhaled, setting his beer down with a quiet thud. He hated being caught in the middle of this, but Spencer’s eyes were so full of uncertainty, so full of regret, that Derek couldn’t ignore the question. He had to be honest. “She’s... doing alright,” Derek said carefully, trying not to reveal too much. “Keeping busy. Working on some new projects.”

Spencer’s shoulders relaxed a fraction, and he nodded slowly. “That’s good,” he muttered, though the slight tremble in his voice betrayed just how much hearing about you affected him. 

“What, uh, what does she do for work?” Spencer asked, his fingers nervously twisting the beer bottle in his hand, his gaze avoiding Derek's for a moment.

Derek sighed, knowing exactly where this conversation was heading but humoring Spencer for now. “She’s an interior designer.”

“Oh, cool,” Spencer muttered, nodding absently, still twirling his beer. There was a beat of silence before he asked, “How did you two meet?”

Derek smiled at the memory, a small chuckle escaping him. “We ran into each other, literally, at a hardware store. I was standing there, staring at paint, and she bumped into me. She ended up helping me pick out a paint color for my walls, and, well, the rest is history.”

“That’s nice,” Spencer said, his voice quieter now, as if he was picturing the scene in his mind. “She, uh, she likes it? The job, I mean?”

“She loves it,” Derek replied with a soft smile, thinking about how passionate you were whenever you talked about your latest project. It was clear how much joy your work brought you, and Derek admired that.

The conversation hovered for a moment, Spencer swirling the beer in his hand, staring into the golden liquid as if it might hold the answers he was looking for. He didn’t dare ask the question that was lingering on the tip of his tongue—Does she ever talk about me?—but Derek could feel it hanging in the air between them, thick with unspoken regret.

Derek leaned back, exhaling softly. He knew Spencer was desperate for some sign, some hope, but he also knew you hadn’t mentioned Spencer much since the first time you told Derek about him, and this most recent run-in. 

But Derek couldn’t lie, and he wasn’t about to give Spencer any false hope. “She doesn’t want to see you, Spencer,” Derek said gently, watching the way Spencer’s expression crumbled, the tiny shred of hope slipping through his fingers. “She’s... still hurt.”

Spencer swallowed hard, his gaze dropping to the table. When he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, full of regret and guilt. “I know.”

—

The Humane Society was always a favorite outing for you two, mostly because Derek loved the idea of being surrounded by dogs, and you were more than happy to tag along to play with the animals.

You knelt down by one of the cages, your fingers scratching behind the ears of a little brown puppy with floppy ears and bright eyes. “You are too cute,” you cooed, watching as the puppy wagged its tail excitedly. “How is it that I've managed to leave here every time without adopting?”

Derek was busy with a scrappy terrier, laughing as the dog tugged at his shoelaces. “Because I’m here to remind you that you have plants you’ve barely managed to keep alive.”

“Low blow,” you snickered, standing up to join him. “But I could definitely handle one of these guys. Look at their little faces!”

Derek raised an eyebrow, his smile teasing. “Yeah, you say that now, but when you’re knee-deep in chewed shoes and puppy accidents, you’ll be texting me to dog-sit.”

You grinned, nudging his arm as the two of you continued walking down the row of cages. “I think we both know you’d love it.”

“Okay, maybe,” Derek admitted, glancing down at one of the puppies that had followed you to the edge of its cage. “But only because I’d get to play with them all day.”

“Exactly.” You shot him a grin. The day was filled with laughter and excitement, the two of you in your element—just two friends enjoying the company of animals and each other.

—

Derek was in the bullpen when he felt Spencer approach, that familiar presence hovering like a shadow. He looked up from his paperwork, knowing exactly what was coming.

“Hey,” Spencer said, his voice quieter than usual. “Can I ask... has Y/N said anything?”

Derek leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. “Reid, man, I’ve told you—she doesn’t want to talk about it.”

Spencer’s brow furrowed, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. “I just... I don’t understand how I could’ve hurt her this much. I didn’t think...” He trailed off, unsure of how to explain his regret without making excuses.

Derek rubbed a hand over his face, torn between wanting to protect you and wanting Spencer to see the bigger picture. “Look, I get that you didn’t mean to hurt her. But man, you’ve got to understand—she trusted you. And when you left, it wasn’t just about what happened back then. It’s about the fact that you walked away without a word.”

Spencer blinked, absorbing the weight of Derek’s words. “I didn’t know it would be this bad,” he whispered.

Derek shook his head slightly, his voice firm but not unkind. “That’s the problem, Spencer. You never thought about what it’d do to her. She wasn’t just mad. She was heartbroken.”

—

The sun was warm, and the café’s outdoor seating was just breezy enough to make the day feel perfect. You and Derek sat across from each other, laughing over your latest failed online shopping attempts.

“I swear, I ordered a rug, and it looked like it belonged in a dollhouse when it arrived,” you groaned, rolling your eyes dramatically. Derek threw his head back with a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Y/N, at this point, you should just let me handle your shopping. Your luck is terrible,” he teased, sipping his iced coffee.

“Don’t even try, Morgan. I can’t be trusted to order anything online, but I’m a wizard in an actual store.” You wagged a finger at him before diving into your sandwich. “Besides, you love dragging me around for advice.”

“Yeah, okay,” Derek grinned, “but we’re heading to the home goods store after this. No more rugs, though. Promise me.”

You smirked. “No promises. Let’s see where the wind takes us.”

The rest of the day was filled with easy banter as you roamed the aisles of a nearby store, pointing out throw pillows and quirky decor that caught your eye. Derek kept up the playful commentary, pretending to be appalled at your taste, but you could tell he was having just as much fun as you were.

At one point, he held up a neon-green lamp, his face mock-serious. “This. This is the statement piece your living room has been missing.”

“Oh my god, put that down before it blinds me,” you laughed, shoving him playfully as you moved on to the next aisle.

—

Penelope, Hotch, and JJ were deep in conversation when Derek noticed Spencer hovering nearby, clearly wanting to ask something but too nervous to interrupt. Derek already knew what was coming. It had become a pattern—every few days, Spencer would subtly try to ask about you without making it obvious.

As soon as the group dispersed, Spencer sidled up to Derek, eyes darting nervously around the bullpen. “Did Y/N say anything about... that thing you guys did last weekend?”

Derek raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “We grabbed lunch and went shopping. You want details about the food she ordered, or are you gonna admit what you’re really asking?”

Spencer’s face flushed, his hands twitching at his sides. “I... I just want to know if she’s okay.”

Derek sighed, his expression softening. “She’s okay, Spencer. It was a long time ago. But listen... you need to understand that just because she’s functioning now doesn’t mean she’s not still hurting.” He lowered his voice, giving Spencer a hard look. “If you really want to fix this, you’ve got to stop waiting for her to just be fine and start thinking about what you need to do to make things right.”

Spencer bit his lip, nodding. He opened his mouth as if to say something more, but Derek shook his head. “She’s not ready, man. Don’t push.”

—

As you sat in the car, driving back from the movies with Derek, you stared out the window, feeling peaceful. That is, until he finally broke the silence.

“So,” he said, his tone more serious than usual. “Are we gonna talk about it?”

You blinked, turning to him with a slight frown. “Talk about what?”

Derek glanced over at you, his brow furrowed slightly. “Spencer.”

The mention of his name hit you hard, but you quickly forced a smile, brushing it off. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Derek raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “Come on, Y/N. You’ve been great at pretending you’re fine, but I know you better than that. You’re good, but you’re not that good. I am a profiler, sweetheart.”

You sighed, leaning back in your seat. “I’m fine, Derek. I’ve moved on. I’m happy now.”

Derek didn’t respond right away. He pulled into a parking lot and turned off the engine, giving you a pointed look. “I know you’re happy, and I’m glad. But pretending those feelings don’t exist doesn’t make them go away.”

You bit your lip, staring down at your hands. “What do you want me to say? That it still hurts? That I’m angry? Because I am. I’m all of those things. But it doesn’t change anything. Spencer’s in the past, and I’m not letting him mess up what I’ve got now.”

Derek’s expression softened, his voice gentle as he leaned back. “I’m not saying you have to do anything. I just don’t want you to keep bottling it up.”

You exhaled slowly, the tension slipping out of your body as you met Derek’s gaze. “I’m fine. Really. But... thanks for asking.”

Derek smiled, nodding as he started the car again. “Alright. Just know I’m here, okay?”

You smiled back, feeling grateful for the reminder. “I know.”

“Would you be willing to talk to him? He’s pretty beaten up about the whole thing,” Derek asked cautiously, his eyes flicking over to you with that careful, almost too-soft look. It was the look he reserved for moments when he didn’t want to push you but knew he had to ask anyway.

Your stomach tightened at the mention of Spencer, the name still carrying more weight than you wanted to admit. You kept your gaze out the window, watching the buildings blur by, pretending the question didn’t send a ripple of unease through your chest.

“Derek…” you started, your voice trailing off, unsure of how to respond. The thought of seeing Spencer again, of opening that old wound, felt like more than you could handle.

“I know,” Derek cut in gently, sensing your hesitation. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it was worth it. But I’ve talked to him, Y/N. He’s... not the same guy he was. He messed up, and he knows that.”

You shook your head slightly, your fingers absentmindedly tracing the edge of your seatbelt. “I don’t know if I can, Derek. He left. Without a word. I don’t know what there is to talk about anymore.”

“I get that,” Derek said softly, his voice low and careful. “But maybe there’s some closure in it for you. And for him. You don’t have to forgive him, but maybe hearing him out would help. For both of you.”

You sighed, the weight of his words pressing down on you. Closure. Did you need it? Or was keeping Spencer in the past the only way to really move on?

“I don’t know,” you murmured finally, your voice thick with uncertainty.

Derek didn’t push any further, his silence a testament to how well he understood you. “It’s your call, babe,” he said after a long pause. “But just think about it. No pressure.”

You nodded slowly, your heart conflicted as you continued staring out the window, the unease still swirling inside you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

tag list <333 @yokaimoon @khxna @noelliece @dreamsarebig @sleepey-looney @cocobean16 @placidus @criminalmindssworld @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @charismatic-writer @fxoxo @hearts4spensco @furrybouquettrash @kathrynlakestone @chaneladdicted @time-himself @mentallyunwellsposts @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @gilwm @reggieswriter @loumouse @spencerreidsreads @i-live-in-spite @fanfic-viewer @bootylovers44 @atheniandrinkscoffee @niktwazny303 @dead-universe @hbwrelic @kniselle @cynbx @danielle143 @katemusic @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @laurakirsten0502 @geepinky @mxlviaa @libraprincessfairy @fortheloveofgubler @super-nerd22 @k-illdarlings @softestqueeen @eliscannotdance @pleasantwitchgarden @alexxavicry @written-in-the-stars06

[sl-vega]

💌 PROJECT: LOVE LIASON!

🌷 - a highschool social media au ll scaramouche x fem! reader -🌷

𝜗𝜚 SYNOPSIS: you're head over heels in love with childe, and scaramouche is (begrudingly) smitten with his "rival" mona. and, by sheer divine coincidence, you both happen to be the best friends of each other's objects of affection, so you strike a deal with each other. if scaramouche helps you ask out childe, you'll set him up with mona. so with the annual spring formal right around the corner, the two of you vow to be each other's wingmans so you can end your junior year on a high note (and maybe even kick off your senior year with a new relationship!). between, scheming, planning, and researching, you and scaramouche find yourselves developing a new relationship via helping each other out. now the real question is whether this friendship will remain as a pure platonic bond, or blossom into something more?

genre: strangers to friends to lovers, friends/classmates to lovers, pair the suitors, smau, high school au, modern au, social media au, crack, comedy

warnings: swearing, crude humour, potentially ooc, keys/kms jokes, suggestive/sensitive content, pictures used are not meant to depict y/n's physical appearance

status: ongoing

side ships: navia x chlorinde

additional notes:

this smau is heavily inspired by toradora (finished it recently and I adored it)

this will get more frequently updated (once the first chapter drops) as I have already made several chapters in advance

taglist is open! as per usual, just send me an ask or comment if you want to be tagged!

💌 means that the chapter contains written material!

dividers by @cafekitsune a + @anitalenia

ᥫ᭡ STARRING:

0.1; retired theater kids // 0.2 abandonment issues personified

PROJECT LOVE LIASON IS IN ACTION!

00-PROLOGUE; fate hates me

ACT ONE; we wing-manning?

01; we need to stop meeting like this - [💌] // 02; stalker! // 03; tag along squad! // 04; next door nuisance - [💌] // 05; mixed signals // 06; girl talk! - [💌] // 07; smitten schemers // 08; operation: first (study) date! - [💌] // 09; mission failed successfully // 10; repaying the favour - [💌] // 11; it's not stupid if it works // 12; progress! // 13; wiki how to flirt with your crush - [💌] // 14; it's giving wattpad // 15; recon + some reconciliation // 16; free vacation?!

ACT TWO; cuz baby, you're a firework!!

17; simulanka! // 18; packing while procrastinating // 19; plotting coincidence // 20; fancy meeting you here - [💌] // 21; abort mission! - [💌] // 22; on board! // 23; taking flight // 24; injustice on air // 25; falling for you (literally) - [💌] // 26; crappy sky-fi // 27; (arguably) safe landing - [💌] // 28; checking in + checking out // 29; the most magical place on earth!™ - [💌] // 30; consumerism core!!! // 31; how do you talk to your crush? (asking for a friend) - [💌] // 32; mentally preparing // 33; kill me now - [💌] // 34; I owe you one // 35; foiled plans - [💌] // 36; - // 37; -

ACT THREE; pair the suitors

[MORE TBA]

🎀 - taglist!;

@agaygothicmushroom @035814 @freyao7, @sketcheeee @tsukimara @shyentsmissingink @peachystea @aries-afk @lxkeeeee @sakiimeo @sugxryratz @shutingstar @lalaloveallmydays @bellflower1257 @haruumei @kichiyosh1 @littlemisssatanist @dee-zbignuts @candyescapism @crimxeorcremeexistspeacefully @h3ll0-kitty-4lly @franaby @la-cursii @heusalettle @automaticpatroltragedy, @c4ttheart, @meigalaxy @misswetty @introvertaku02, @daiyunjin @trulyylee @lily-lmao @kazumiku @kunikuzushis-darling @vitanye @livelaughlovekuni @imnotyizhuo @akagi0021 @rook-kisser @mitsuribe @scaraenthusiast1 @chemiru @193i3 @matolka @tamikahoshiko @jayzioxx @samyayaya @dontmindtheevie @v3ntis-lyr3

[a-random-fandom-friend]

Carrément pareil. Genre... "imaginer Gringe et Orel en couple" c'est un truc qui est explicitement abordé dans une serie qui a été diffusée à une heure de pointe sur canal+ ???

Genre du Booba x Kaaris x Nekfeu me surprendrait déjà un peu plus. Ou du abo / sex pollen / coffeeshop au. Là c'est ? Deux mecs qui sont potes, ont fait une serie puis un film dans lequel l'un catfish l'autre ? Ce serait chelou qu'il n'y ait *pas* de fics.

les gars on s'est fait gaulé.......

[samkerrworshipper]

My Masterlist

WIPS

Leah Williamson -

seeing her tonight, it's a bad idea right?

just some friends with benefits smut that’s ends with confessions of love

medication

r stops taking their anxiety medications during the euros finals to get rid of three side effects… but what happens when it seriously effects them on the pitch

let me love you

r struggles after her and leah break up after some drunken kisses with other people… can they mend it all before r’s health is seriously affected?

the call up

when r gets the news notification from the Spanish federation regarding the forced call up the espwnt

safe and sound

r having suicidal thoughts and leah just being there to support them and be there for them

playgirl

friends to lovers smut w cocky as fuck playgirl leah who secretly only has eyes on r

losing

what happens when r loses for the first time?

asthma attacks

what happens when r has a asthma attack whilst Leah’s out for the night?

i will wait for you.

r gets injured in the champions league final and finds herself pushing out everyone, is it to late to make up with the people that matter most?

lost cause

r doesn’t want to do life anymore… leah’s there to make it all better and let her know how loved she is

tourniquet

r struggles with self harm and Leah helps her with it in theee different examples

pain, sweet, pain.

leah’s return from her acl injury is nothing like what she wanted nor expected, but her team are there to help her up when she’s down.

scars and all

leah finds out about her girlfriends past mental health issues

beautiful girl series (leah + jordan as coparents)

part 1 -> close you’re eyes: leah and jordan’s daughter is struggling after their breakup

part 2 -> have no fear: jordan and r have a heart to heart and somethings are revealed

part 3 -> the monsters gone: leah confronts her daughter

part 4 -> she’s on the run: r runs away

part 5 -> and your moms are here: reconciliation

part 6 -> beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl: final part

Lucy Bronze -

mamacita

jersey smut with lucy after winning

daddy?…. sorry

just a little drabble about dom daddy lucy

a shoulder to cry on

lucy is there for r after she has a career shattering injury

euro champs and abs

lucy’s prize for winning the euros

leg shakes and body aches pt.2^

after care for the fic above

epiphany

random grief drabble - more r focused then lucy tbh but if u want a good cry then readdd

Alexia Putellas -

movie night

cheek voyeurism smut with r and alexia at team movie night

lap dance

stripper smut with Alexia after the world cup

on the sidelines

wag Alexia on the sidelines for wnba girlfriend

i remember everything

r struggles with eating disorder… alexis is to absorbed in her own life to notice.. what are th consequences?

the party

songfic based off the song the party & the after party by the weeknd… pure filthy smut

exile

songfic based off the song exile by taylor swift

the last time (pt.2^)

Alexia tries to apologise to r after what happened at the club… another songfic based off the song the last time by taylor swift

between thighs

just a little quickie fic

back between villages

alexia tears her acl.

sugar, baby

u have a little arrangement with la reina

bar-ca

babyfic with newborn alexia and r as parents

rockin’ around the christmas tree

fluffy kidfic with christmas with the putellas’ family

underneath the surface

alexia finds out about your endometriosis

Sam Kerr -

cock blocked

team night with the arsenal girls who r keeping you from being thoroughly fucked by your girlfriend

smut headcanons

just smutty dom headcanons with sammy k

a whore’s punishment

literal smutty porn without plot… that’s it.

concealed

little drabble about sam concealing a strap during a photo shoot

the phone call

based off the scene in the uswnt doc with the different call ups except sam x reader coded

acls

based off sam’s acl injury :(

Katie Mccabe -

nails

katie comes home from ireland camp with a new set of nails and she shows you just how much she can do even without using her hands or

Mapi Leon -

massage therapy

mapi gets injured… reader tries to resolve some of the tension in her body

warmed

cockwarming… that’s about it

las 15

based off of the spanish players boycott pre world cup

Alexia Putellas x Reader x Lucy Bronze -

twos a company, threes a crowd

| pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | pt.4 |

pure filth between my three girlies

Leah Williamson x reader x Lia Wälti -

all yours

just a little friends to lovers angsty fic about lia and leah getting together when the three have always been best friends and r struggling with it

Mapi Leon x Reader x Ingrid Engen -

long distance

touch starved and anxious reader who’s been away from mapi and ingrid for a while and needs a reminder just how much the love her

Vivianne Miedema x Beth Mead -

bad days

Viv has a bad anxiety day… Beth’s there for her no matter what

Kristie Mewis x Sam Kerr -

pinky promise?

little anxiety fic about kristie stressing about meeting Sam’s parents for the first time

wet dream

kristie can’t sleep.. sam has a wet dream..

Lia Wälti x Alexia Putellas -

captains connection

sometiems the captains are the ones who need the most help after games..

auswnt -

togetherness

pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3

just some tillies angst and fluff

arsenal women -

found family

r goes out in the snow and gets really sick, but is scared to bother their arsenal teammates, two captains show up at their door after them not showing up to training for a few days and help them out and show them just how much the team loves them

homework help

when r moves to england she struggles with the adjustment of new school… arsenal team are there for her though

sticker chart

r and kyra r the pranksters of the team… but what happens when they take it too far and the arsenal parents seperate them as a result

revival

arsenal reader has been struggling more than she’d ever admit.. when it becomes to much she attempts to take her life but her teammates refuse to let her kill herself when she has so much more to live for.

hard times

arsenal reader struggles with PTSD and new year’s eve is a particular struggle… but the arsenal girlies are there for her even if she doesn’t know she needs them

narcotics

reader has a drug problem.. her arsenal teammates help her to realise and overcome it

how did it end?

suicidal ex-arsenal reader who retired after leaving the club

barca women -

suffer in silence

r struggles with self harm after the problems with the spanish federation.. mapi, ingrid, lucy and alexia are there to pick up the broken pieces

exhausted

insomnia reader with concerned alexia

initiation orgy universe

initiation:

pt.1 -> pt.2 -> pt.3

celebrations:

pt.1 -> pt.2 -> pt.3

[marjorie189]

Coward - Vinnie Hacker Smut

description: Vinnie cuts things off with Y/N when things get rough. After a month of Vinnie delving his emotions into work, he can no longer put his feelings aside. He realizes he makes the biggest mistake of his life. 

word count: 13,933

consists of: a rollercoaster of emotions, foreplay, dry humping, p in v, aftercare reconciliation. Jacob Day is mentioned in this fic. 

italics are flashbacks! 

Let’s get started!

❁

Vinnie and Y/N.

Anytime anyone hears those names together, the first thing that comes to mind is what a perfect match they are for one another.

Their close friends know it, their fans know it, heck even they know it. Everyone does.

But, a better way to describe it now is, was a perfect match.

It all started with different fashion companies wanting to work with them for their fashion weeks. YSL and Dior partnering with Vinnie. Versace and Chanel partnering with Y/N.

The two were crazy busy. It was getting hard to maintain a healthy relationship. Between creating visions with the brands, fittings, events, photoshoots. It felt like the relationship they once knew was a lifetime ago.

The two were optimistic, you can give them that. They wanted to make things work. The whole fashion week events would be over someday, they’d say in motivation to pull through with it all.

When the fashion weeks did come, they’d be in the same city. Whether it was Milan, Paris, New York, or any other beautiful city, unfortunately they were hardly together.

Once all the fashion weeks were over though, they felt relieved. They finally felt like things would finally go back to normal for them.

The two were always always hip to hip. It was rare to see one without the other. They were practically like a married couple, never leaving each other's side. The only difference between a married couple and them was that they maintained the same love for each other. Married couples usually lose their flame after a while, but not them.

They were truly in love.

Right when they got back from the fashion world to their lovely and comforting home in California, their plans of going back to the way things were changed. Vinnie had to fly to Paris for a fashion shoot with Ami Paris.

Y/N was excited for him, she was so proud of him. Of course she felt sad knowing Vinnie had to leave. They hadn’t spent much time together in the past couple months, but nevertheless she was proud of his achievements.

Vinnie, on the other hand, felt horrible. He knew he would have to be traveling from Paris to LA, LA to Paris, repeatedly. All he wanted to do was give Y/N the time of day. He wanted to love her, spend every forsaken second with her. He missed doing that. They would do it all the time before the world they knew got crazy, he was looking forward to doing it again. But nope, the world had other plans in store for them.

Y/N, not even for one second felt like they wouldn’t manage it all. Hell yeah, it was hard, but they would get through it. They already had, what’s one more? She’d miss him tons but she’d be counting the days, weeks, for him to fully be in her graces again. They’d for sure need a vacation after all of it.

But Vinnie. Oh, Vinnie.

He felt guilty. He loved his girl. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her. He cared deeply for her and it tore him apart that he’d have to leave again.

This time it was different. The two had been looking forward to this present moment for months now. But he had to ruin it with another campaign. If it were up to only him, he would hit them with a hard pass. He’d prefer to be with his baby sprawled up, under his covers. They hadn’t been able to do that in months. It was always go, go, go.

They were supposed to do nothing together. That was their plan, that is what they had been looking forward to.

He kept pondering to himself that it was all his fault. He’d leave Y/N in a couple days, all alone this time. She would no longer be working like crazy, surrounded by thousands of people. It would just be her, without him. She would be at home, without him.

“What’s wrong?” She would ask, frowning.  

Vinnie was sitting at the edge of his bed, quietly. Y/N was kneeling behind him as she wrapped her arms under his buff arms.

It took him a few seconds to respond.

“Nothing.” He’d say.

“Come on, Vinnie. You should be happy, right now!” She said, knowing he was upset about Paris. She knew him more than anyone. She could see right through him. “Sure, I know it’s going to be hard. I know. But it’s me and you against the world, nothing can stop us. You’ve got to lighten up. Seeing you like this makes me feel down too, you know?” She murmured the last part, pressing her lips onto his soft cheek.

And for that second, he felt like they could actually pull through. He was just too far up in his thoughts. He was focusing too much on the negativity to realize that they’ve never failed at loving each other.

Vinnie woke up the next morning, before his sweet Y/N. He caught himself feeling guilty and upset with himself, all over again.

Right beside him, restfully sleeping was his world.

He felt his throat clenching as he realized he couldn’t give you this. You two would no longer wake up to each other, huddled up. He hated that.

He got out of bed roughly leaving you behind. He walked into his conjoined restroom and stared at the sink countertop. If it wasn’t for Y/N being a couple feet away, he would’ve let his rage take over and punch the countertop.

He just couldn’t do it.

He thought about it for a couple hours that day. Y/N had woken up a while ago, but Vinnie pushed her away. He finally came to the conclusion, he had made a plan. He had to let Y/N know now in order for it to work out before he had to leave for Paris.

He sat her down. Thankfully she started speaking first, he didn’t know how to start the conversation.

“Are you finally going to acknowledge me? It feels like all day you’ve been ignoring me,” She spoke out, seemingly hurt.

“I-I’m sorry,” He croaked out. He was holding it all in. He looked down at his lap, fidgeting and playing with his beautiful hands.

“Vinnie, I thought we talked about this,” She expressed with a sigh. She scooted closer to him, she was wrapping her legs around his waist, in an attempt to get him finally to look at her.

Before she could, he pulled her off of him, placing her beside him.

“No, Y/N! I don’t think this is going to work out!” Vinnie let out, finally speaking to her this whole day.

“W-what?” Y/N said, she felt taken aback, realizing what Vinnie meant.

‘It’s over. I’m sorry.” He said standing up.

“Vinnie! What are you talking about? We can make this work. I don’t understand why you’re making this a greater deal than it has to be! I can wait, I’ll always wait for you.” Y/N exclaimed, standing up as well.

And that’s what broke him. Once she said that last sentence, it was final. He wasn’t turning back.

Vinnie’s first part and might it be added the hardest part of his plan was done.

Next he would talk to Jack, his best friend.

“You know how we’ve been speaking about moving out of the Hype House for a while now?” Vinnie said, bringing up the topic to him.

“Yeah! You, me, and Y/N!” Jack says, smiling at the thought, not taking the conversation too seriously.

“Yeah well change of plans. Just you, me, Jett, and a couple other gu-” Vinnie blurted out.

“Okay holda holda holda up!” Jack said back tracing. “Are you being serious about moving out right now? And second of all why is Y/N out of the picture? I thought she wanted to have some privacy away from the ruckus of the Hype House. We all did,” Jack questioned.

“Y/N and I broke up,” Vinnie says so nonchalantly.

Jack seemed like he was about to have a panic attack.

“WHAT?!” He yelled out. “Why do you seem so off right now, so fine? Are you okay?” Jack asks quickly.

“Are we moving in together or what? I already looked into a couple places online.” Vinnie shot out.

And that’s how it all started. Vinnie was moving into a new house with Jack and a couple other of their friends.

Y/N and Vinnie were over.

Vinnie had a couple more days before traveling to Paris, and he wanted everything to be right in place. His plan was working perfectly.

His plan to leave Y/N.

He had started to pack everything up in his room at the Hype House. The news of Y/N and Vinnie’s split had spread throughout the house.

Vinnie was quiet and closed off, not speaking to anyone, steering away from everyone.

Y/N of course had tried talking to him. To try to fix it all. She knew Vinnie was making a mistake, a horrible one at that, but he would just turn a blind eye. Completely neglecting her.

Vinnie had passed by his room one last time, the night before his flight.

He was standing in the middle of his now empty room and Y/N had entered Vinnie’s room.

“Please don’t leave me,” Y/N shakily let out, whimpering as she wrapped herself around Vinnie’s toned waist. Her head resting on his firm chest.

She broke down in an instant, tears pouring down her face, shuddering tears.

“You’re the love of my life, Vin,” She whispered into his chest. “Please, don’t leave me.”

It was like an instinct because he didn’t even realize that his arms were wrapped around her back, hugging her.

He stood tall, emotionless.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” He muttered, as he loosened his arms around her.

He pulled away from her, walking out of his old room, leaving Y/N behind as she cried her heart out.

As Vinnie left the house, Y/N had slid down the wall in the now unclaimed room, crying on the floor.

She cried for a good twenty minutes. As her tears ceased, she breathed out as she examined the room in which she fell in love.

The memories that were made there.

She looked at the wall across from her. That’s where Vinnie’s desk and PC used to be. Vinnie would stream there, play Valorant, and where he taught her how to play video games. He would always let her sit on his lap as he played. She would sometimes stand behind his gaming chair and massage his broad shoulders, watching him play.

It broke her heart thinking.

Her eyes roamed to the big empty space in between the walls. That’s where his bed used to lay. The bed in which they watched movies and stayed up all night talking. It’s where they cuddled and made love.

Silent tears streamed down her warm cheek.

She would no longer be able to play with his soft curly hair and hug him. No longer be able to kiss his red plump lips, the ones she loved.

Her eyes roamed the door, the walls, his bathroom sink, his shower, where his bed used to lay, his PC area, all places they’d had sex.

It was all over.

After a while, she finally got the courage to walk out of his room. She walked across the hall to her room and dove under her covers.

All she wanted to do was drown in her sleep, hoping it would be all over when she woke up, like a terrible nightmare.

She tried her hardest to not cry. She felt like all she’s been doing since Vinnie broke things off with her is cry.

Y/N just wanted to be as emotionless as Vinnie. She didn’t want to feel the pain anymore.

Crying made her feel everything.

She didn’t want to cry anymore, just sleep.

She tossed and turned, uncovered herself and covered herself with her sheets, and even tried different sleeping positions. Nothing managed to get her to a restful sleep.

After what seemed like an hour, she couldn’t take it anymore. She was frustrated with herself, she felt angry.

All Y/N wanted was for her and Vinnie to be okay.

She stood up from her bed, grabbed her sheets, cover, and a pillow.

She walked across the hall and walked into the empty room.

She went to the corner in which she was crying in earlier.

She took a deep breath and dropped everything she had in her hands onto the floor.

Y/N spread her sheets across the cold floor and placed the pillow at the top.

Y/N got ahold of her duvet and covered herself under it, laying on top of her sheets. Her head on top of her pillow.

She looked around the dark room as she laid on the floor. She somehow felt at ease in what used to be Vinnie’s room.

She didn’t feel as lonely there. The tears from earlier had dried up on her face, but new ones brimmed.

She felt comfortable in his room but it broke her heart, thinking of everything that had occurred.

Y/N started crying on the bed she had put together on the floor. The comforter that covered her almost swallowed her whole. Her eyes and top of her head were all that could be seen.

Her breathing was getting rough, her eyes were stinging, her face was wet.

Her heart stung, it physically hurt. It felt as if it was being clenched and pulled away from her. All she wanted was for this pain to be over.

Her eyes were getting to the point where they were heavily drooping.

Next thing you know she was passed out on her ex-boyfriend’s floor.

Somewhere along the walls of the Hype House was Jacob Day.

Jacob Day was one of the newer members of the Hype House. He started living with them a couple months ago. Around the time where Vinnie and Y/N had started to get insanely busy.

Jacob heard about the news. He honestly did not expect it. He never really got to know Y/N nor Vinnie because they were hardly ever at the house. But he would always hear their names from Mia and Thomas and of course he knew of them.

He had seen Vinnie leave earlier that day. It was getting late and he decided to check up on Y/N.

Jacob didn’t know her all that well but knew that breakups were hard, especially theirs, everyone thought they’d be together forever. They really did seem in love, he’d thought.

It sounded cheesy but if anyone would have to bet money on who would last, it would be on them.

Plus, whenever Y/N was at the house, she was always kind and welcoming to him. And, it seemed like she was finally going to be spending more time at the house. Why not make a friend?

He wanted to return the kind gesture.

Jacob walked towards her room, knocking softly at her door.

The door slightly opened due to his knocks, and he caught sight of an empty room. Y/N was nowhere to be seen.

He took a slight turn about to head back to his room, but as he turned around he noticed the door across from hers. Vinnie’s room.

He stepped closer to Vinnie’s door and quietly placed his hand on the door handle. He would check just in case Y/N was in there. He had a feeling she was.

He soundlessly opened the door and it was pitch black in there. If it wasn’t for the moonlight’s reflection hitting the ground floor, he wouldn’t have noticed her.

Jacob frowned at the sight. He almost felt his heart pang. He didn’t know the girl, but it was still upsetting to see.

He didn’t know what to do. He stood there for a couple seconds, at the entrance of the room.

He didn’t want to wake her because what would he even say?

Jacob got the idea of letting Thomas know. Y/N and him were close, he would know what to do.

He quietly closed the door not wanting to wake her.

As soon as Jacob let Thomas know the situation, Thomas immediately went to the site. Jacob followed behind him.

Thomas walked into Vinnie’s empty dark room to find his best friend on the ground, sleeping.

At the sight, Thomas let out a sad sigh. He knew Y/N was struggling with Vinnie leaving.

Thomas neared closer to Y/N’s laid body. He bent down beside her and caught the sight of her red nose and cheeks alongside her puffy eyes.

Thomas carried her up and out of the floor, her blanket still wrapped around her body. Thomas and Jacob walked out of Vinnie’s room as Y/N was peacefully sleeping in Thomas’ arms, shutting the door closed behind them.

Y/N shifted in her sleep, realizing she was no longer on the comfortable floor.

She hummed as she squinted her eyes at the huge headache she had.

Y/N opened her eyes and realized that Thomas’ had lifted her out of the floor and was currently walking.

“Tom? What are you doing?” She asked sleepily, looking up at him.

“I’m taking you to mine and Mia’s room. You can sleep there,” He said sweetly, smiling down at her.

Y/N looked up at the ceiling and caught the glimpse of Jacob walking behind them.

Her eyes widened and she felt her cheeks warming up. She didn’t know Jacob all that well, and felt embarrassed that he had to see her that way.

She just huddled up with her blanket and onto Thomas' chest. Thomas was like her older brother, they had lived with each other for almost two years. She didn’t feel like she had to hide with him.

As Thomas made it to his room, he laid Y/N carefully next to a fully awake Mia.

Jacob awkwardly stood by the door and decided to go back to his room.

“I’ll leave you guys to it. Good night.” He said, waving at them.

Thomas and Mia wished him a good night and Thomas mouthed a “thank you” to him.

Jacob nodded with a smile and before he left, Y/N whispered a “good night” to him too.

He smiled and walked out the door.

Y/N looked away from the door and faced Mia, who was laying beside her.

“Come ‘ere” Mia said, wrapping her arms around Y/N knowingly.

Y/N let herself be embraced by her sweet best friend.

“I just miss him,” Y/N let out as Mia tightly hugged her.

“I know, baby. I know,” Mia comforted as she rubbed her back.

“You can sleep here for as long as you want,” Mia whispered after Y/N dried the tears off her face.

“Thanks. Both of you. You guys are the best,” Y/N said, finally letting out a smile.

“Is that a smile I see?” Thomas teasingly said.

“Maybe.” Y/N smiled.

She slept comfortably that night, they all did.

Present time

*a month later*

Y/N’s POV:

It had been a rough past couple of weeks but with everyday that came along, life seemed easier.

I had my career to be thankful for. It’s the most successful I’ve ever been.

I’ve gotten to spend more time with my friends and have even made a new one.

Jacob Day.

He’s a nice person to have around after a break up. Jacob is sweet, thoughtful, and caring.

I will admit, Jacob is one of the only reasons I’m able to smile, after Vinnie.  

He got me out of the gutter and helped me see the light of day.

We’ve gotten to spend a lot of time together this past month.

Jacob knew that I was hurting and made it a mission to get me to feel better. Ever since that night where he found me sleeping in Vinnie’s room.

At first it started with Jacob coming to visit me in my room. We would spend time in my room. He’d let me vent to him about Vinnie. He genuinely cared about how I felt and how the breakup was affecting me. After a while our conversations no longer consisted of Vinnie. Our time progressed to us having movie nights in my room or playing card games.

After about a week he’d finally got me out of my room. He helped me get ready, when it was the last thing I wanted to do. Jacob would help me pick out outfits and would make me sit on my vanity to do my makeup or my hair. He would wait patiently for me to get ready.

Whether it was just to go out for a walk or to grab a coffee. He’d wait however long. Knowing I would feel great, afterwards.

He was the sweetest.

We even planned and executed a Disneyland trip after watching countless of Disney movies. Now that was one of the best days I’ve had this past month.

If it wasn’t for Jacob I’d still be crying in my bed over Vinnie.

I was currently all dolled up in the kitchen waiting for Jacob to come downstairs for a coffee outing.

Mia was cooking food, while Thomas and I were standing around the kitchen.

“You sure you don’t want some food, Y/N/N?” Mia asked sweetly.

I shook my head thankfully.

“No thank you. I would but Jacob and I are going to grab some coffee,” I smiled over at her. “It looks delicious though!”

Mia smiled back with a nod.

“You know, you have been drinking a lot of coffee lately!” Thomas acknowledged.

“I know!” I exclaimed. “It’s all because of Jacob. His addiction to coffee is wearing out on me,”

“Do you get a coffee everytime he gets one too?!” Thomas questions with a shocked expression.

“Maybe…” I say with a smirk.

Mia and Thomas let out gasps.

“He just gets really good coffee and they’re really yummy!” I explain with a smile.

“Well I’m glad you two are getting along,” Thomas smiles.

“Yeah,” I nod. “Me too.”

I look over at Mia and she has a teasing smile on her face.

“Alright, what are you going on about?! What’s the foolish smirk for?” I ask with a playful eyeroll.

“You two are just spending a lot of time together-” Mia starts to converse before Thomas chimes in. “Like everyday!” He pipes in.

“All I’m going to say is I’m certain with all the time you two have spent together, Jacob must have some feelings for you,” Mia implored. “And I’m not mad about it!”

I rolled my eyes with a smile.

“Well I made it crystal clear to Jacob from the beginning that I’m not looking for anything and he knows that,” I declared.

“Well why did you have to make it crystal clear?” Thomas asked with a knowing smirk.

I rolled my eyes with a small blush as Mia elbowed me.

“Because we’ve gotten close to kissing a couple times and I do not want to lead him on and make him think we’re an item when we’re not. Vinnie and I’s break up is still fresh and I can not possibly have it in me to date someone at the moment,” I confessed.

“At the moment,” Both Thomas and Mia repeated.

“You two are crazy,” I say, shaking my head, with a little laugh slipping through my lips.

“Y/N!” I heard Jacob call out as he walked down the staircase.

“I’m in the kitchen,” I yell out.

“Is that a smile I see?” Thomas says as he furrows his eyebrows at me.

“No.” I say sassily.

“Rightt..” Mia trails off.

Jacob walks into the kitchen, his eyes meeting mine instantly.

He smiles widely as he walks over to me.

“Hey Jacob!” Mia cheerfully lets out.

“Hey Mia,” Jacob replies, his voice naturally deep.

“What’s up Jacob,” Thomas greets Jacob.

“Morning man,” Jacob smiles as Thomas and him fist bump each other.

“You ready to go?” Jacob asks, looking down at me.

I nod with a smile as he takes a hold of my arm.

Jacob was about to lead us out when Mia holds us back with a question.

“Jacob doesn’t Y/N look phenomenal today. There’s just something about her,” Mia asks.

My eyes widened.

“Really? I think she looks beautiful everyday,” Jacob answers cluelessly.

I let out a breath of relief knowing he didn’t catch onto Mia’s game. But, then I feel warm inside as I realize what he said.

“Aww! Thanks J!” I smile, embracing him in a hug.

Jacob lets out a chuckle holding me in his arms.

“Come on, let's go,” He says as we let go of our hug.

We walk towards the garage and he opens the passenger door of his car for me. I hop into his Corvette and fasten my seatbelt as he closes the door behind me. He hops into the driver’s seat turning the engine on.

“I was thinking we could go for brunch instead of just coffee, I’m getting hungry. How does that sound?” Jacob suggests.

“That sounds perfect!” I smile.

-

Vinnie’s POV:

Present time

I’m finally laying in my bed. Finally able to breath and relax.

But it’s unsettling. I feel out of my skin.

I’m no longer filled up with work, no longer able to avoid my problems. No longer able to ignore the thoughts of Y/N.

Now that I’m home, in California, after a whole month.

I wish it could all be a lie. Was I that stupid to let Y/N go?

I had been too busy in Paris with Ami doing press and photoshoots to even let my heart feel anything.

Now that I’m all alone, locked up in my room, I don’t know how to feel or what to do without her.

I haven’t even let myself feel the truth.

In my head, Y/N is still my girlfriend. We’re still together in my mind and heart.

I haven’t acknowledged the truth.

This last week, I had agreed and accepted my invitation to go to Seoul for Fashion Week. My heart had hoped that Y/N was going to be there too, but I never saw her. I don’t even think she attended, which caught me by surprise.

I was finally back home. If I could even call this new house a home. No one knew I was back in California, only Jack and Jett. According to the internet I’m still in Seoul.

Laying in this dark room, everything that I’ve been ignoring and avoiding has come to bite me in the ass.

The silence and emptiness is itching at me.

My mind can’t stop wandering to her.

What is she doing right now? Is she thinking of me too?

My mind wandered to my last night in California before going to Paris.

I sniffled, remembering Y/N crying in my chest, hugging me.

The way I just left her crying. I was such a jerk. Such a fucking asshole.

But I was hurting just as much as her. But we both wouldn’t have been in that predicament if I wouldn’t have been such a bitch and waited a month.

We both still could’ve been together. I know it for a fact. I would be laying with her, cuddling her right now, probably having the best night of my life with her if I would’ve just accepted that being in a long distance relationship wouldn’t be that bad. It would be worth it at this exact moment in time.

I stood up angrily out of my bed, headed straight for the wall, fist landing into the wall.

I felt my blood rushing to my fist and I let out a huff.

Nothing I put myself through, including causing myself pain, hurts more than what I’m feeling right now.

I let out a frustrated yell, landing on the floor. My legs pressed against my chest.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket and did something I haven’t done this past month.

I opened up Y/N’s instagram page. I clicked on her most recent photo on her feed and my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest.

She looked so beautiful. She was smiling brightly with her perfect white teeth. Her hair falled over her shoulder.

All the tears that have been stored in, fell right then and there.

My loud crying filled the room.

My cheeks were all wet as I swiped to her next photo.

She looked so elegant and precious. I remember I was always the one who took photos of her for Instagram. I wonder who’s taking them for her now?

A smile grew on my face, watching her smile through my phone screen. I’m glad she’s able to move on and carry on with her day, with a smile. She deserves that and the whole world. I deserve to be the one that’s crying after a month of our breakup.

My heart breaks knowing I’m not the cause of that smile, not anymore.

And she’s working on herself. God, I’m proud of her. Her eyes are captivating in the first photo.

I get a flashback of her crying with her red puffy eyes. But she looks happy now.

“Me too baby. Me too.” I let out.

I then scroll to another photo and what I see stabs me in the heart.

It’s a photo of a tall dark haired guy, standing next to my Y/N. They’re both smiling happily in front of the Disneyland castle.

I instantly felt the pain.

She was happy with someone else and it’s all my fault.

It was Jacob, one of the other guys from the Hype House.

Y/N didn’t even know this guy but I guess she does now. She was all alone after I left, but I’m sure that’s how she got to know Jacob. Knowing that they live together is worse.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned off my phone and threw it across the room.

I started crying into my lap.

I had lost the girl of my dreams. All because I let the negativity get into my head.

We could’ve waited a month. She told me she’d always wait for me. I thought I was doing her a favor, us a favor.

But I know she would’ve been sad and missing me once I was in Paris, if I hadn’t broken up with her. I couldn’t put her through that pain again. We had already been distant with the countless fashion weeks we attended. Paris was just the cherry on the top.

But now look at what I've done.

As I finally look at her page, for the first time since we’ve broken up I see this.

I’m not even mad at her. She deserves to be happy. I’m just angry at myself, knowing that, that would’ve never happened if I would’ve just stayed with her. If I would’ve just made it work. We both would’ve worked long distance. She knew it and now I know it. But it’s too late now.

I stand up from the ground, grab my phone and lay in bed.

I open up Tiktok and go onto Jacob’s page. I know it’s going to hurt, but I need to know more about him. I need to see what Y/N sees in him.

I go onto his page and click on a random video.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV33M2J/

Great, of course the first video I see of him is a thirst trap. Showing off his six-pack that is seeping through his shirt and his foolish little smile at the end.

I scroll onto another one of his tiktok’s.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV3psAE/

Oh, wonderful, now I actually get to see him shirtless. Just great.

Is this who Y/N is with now? I wonder if they’re an item?

God, I hope not.

I quickly went from annoyed and angry to hurt again.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV3v9ka/

This tiktok, knowing that Y/N was with him. Making it worse, is that they were at Disneyland.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV3XNSb/

Okay, now this one hurts.

I remember when Y/N, Thomas, Mia, and I were the ones who would go out. Now it’s them, with Jacob, not me.

I felt a sense of betrayal from Thomas and Mia, they were my friends too and they know how I feel about Y/N.

Thomas knew that one day I would marry Y/N, he knew that. How could he be out and about with Y/N and some other guy.

I watched the tiktok again, realizing that they had their Corvettes. Knowing damn well that each car fits two people.

Y/N and Jacob must’ve been riding together and I hated knowing that.

It tore me apart thinking of Y/N in a fast car, with another guy.

It used to be me, driving around with her. In my car. No one else’s. Car rides are always intimate.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRgya8PJ/

Okay, I’ve gotten to the tiktoks that they’ve made together.

It broke my heart. Seeing them, seeing her, happy.

Not that I didn’t want her to be happy, but because it was with him and not with me.

But I’m to blame, which angers me more.

But their matching outfits and the way they danced so happily, with smiles on their faces.

It seems like he makes her happy. He seems happy too.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRgyVJCc/

They’ve all hurt me. But this tiktok in particular hurt me the most.

The way Thomas was instigating behind the camera. Y/N and Jacob sitting next to each other at the movie theater.

Both Y/N and Jacob being shy to the idea of the middle compartment between their seats being able to move up, allowing an open space between them.

Jacob’s voice low and surprised at the realization. “Woah” he says and glances at Y/N as he lifts up the compartment.  

“Dude, it's your chance.” Thomas insists.

Y/N blushing and looking away at the comment.

Maybe I’m looking too much into it. But it’s evident that there’s something between them.

But, the way Y/N giggles and blushes as she looks at Jacob, it brings tears to my eyes. I sniff as I rewatch the video.

I shut my phone off not being able to put myself through watching more of their tiktoks.

I shut my eyes, I feel the pain of my reddened eyes as they close. I grab a pillow and stuff it onto my face.

I grunt out and throw the pillow across my bed, landing on the floor.

I go to grab it, only to let out the whimpers and cries I’ve been holding in.

I lay on the pillow and let it all out, once again.

I just want all of this pain to go away.

My loud cries were heard all around my room.

After what felt like hours of crying in bed, I grabbed my phone, opened up iMessages and opened up her contact.

I reluctantly started typing a text.

‘Hey.”

But then quickly deleted it, before I started typing again.

“I’m finally back in LA”

No. I shake my head before deleting it again.

“hey, it’s been a while.”

“do you wanna maybe meet up?”

I let out a grunt before shutting off my phone. I didn’t have the guts to even send her those messages. I guess it’s better if I don’t, she’s happy without me. I don’t want to the reason to ruin that for her. I’ve done enough harm.

But little did Vinnie know that with a slip of his finger, he sent it. Unknowingly.

Y/N’s POV:

I had just gotten home after having brunch with Jacob.

I was slurping into a boba drink, sitting on an oversized bean bag chair in the living room, when my phone went off two times.

“Hmm,” I hummed to myself as I grabbed my phone.

My heart instantly fell as I saw Vinnie’s contact appear on my lockscreen with the messages reading:

“hey, it’s been a while.”

“do you wanna maybe meet up?”

Vinnie’s contact still had a red heart beside it from when we were together.

I didn’t even realize my eyes were watery until my reflection appeared on the black screen my phone showcased once the lock screen turned off.

I wiped my tears away.

Yeah, I’ve been feeling happy and having a fun time. But Vinnie was always in my heart. The pain never went away, it was always there. It wasn’t as grave anymore, but it remained punctured in my heart.

My breath shuddered, I didn’t even know what to do.

He wanted to meet up? I didn’t even know he was back in California. I thought he would still be in Seoul for fashion week.

I got invited to attend but I wanted to keep myself as far away from Vinnie as possible. I wouldn’t be able to adverse myself into work knowing that at any given moment I would bump into Vinnie or catch a glimpse of him. I couldn’t possibly bear to see him.

I declined their offer.

It’s been a month. I’m sure he’s done with Ami Paris.

So he’s back.

My heart swelled at the fact. My heart tingled, my stomach filled with butterflies. 

But the tears streamed down my face knowing we’re not together. He broke me in half, and hurt me like no other. But, I was happy knowing he’s back. Vinnie will always hold a special place in my heart.

I missed him. More than anything. I sniffled, letting my head fall down. I wiped my tears away not wanting anyone to see.

Jacob, Mia, or Thomas could walk past any second and I wouldn’t know how to explain the tears or my sudden sadness.

I stand up from the bean bag chair and head up the stairs to my room.

As I make it to my room, I lock it behind me and sit at the edge of my bed. Staring profusely at the message.

I read them over, countless times. I don’t even know what to do or what to reply. I do want to reply, but how?

He broke my heart, left me. It would be pathetic of me to run back to him once he’s now available.

But I love him.

The tears now willingly and slowly streamed down my cheeks.

Oh, Vinnie.

My fingers grazed over the keyboard that was shown through the screen.

Mindlessly they started typing.

Hey.

I don’t send it yet, thinking of how I would even respond to his second text.

I thought about meeting up with him. Seeing his beautiful light brown eyes. His magnificent hair, his delightful smile.

His enticing lips.

God, but why did he have to break up with me?

This past month, all I’ve been doing is question his poor actions that not only affected him, but me.

How could he be so careless? To my feelings, to my emotions. I loved him. I still love him. But he ruined that.

Why did he give up on us?

I sniffle at the thought.

Sure, why not.

I type and send both messages.

What else do I have to lose?

I turned off my phone once both messages appeared as blue bubbles.

My heart is racing and my hands are sweaty.

I threw my phone onto the mattress and sat there in thought.

My thoughts were interrupted shortly after by my phone going off.

My eyes widened. That quick?

I quickly grab my phone and see Vinnie’s contact on my lockscreen.

The message reading:

Here’s my address

I’m free the rest of the day

I respond:

be there in an hour.

Okay, now I’m nervous.

I could always cancel?

Seeing him again is going to be overwhelming. I could already feel it.

But if I text him, telling him I’m not going to go anymore. I’d regret it.

The only option left now is meeting up with him.

I let out a sigh and stood up from my bed.

Looking into the mirror, I retouch my smeared makeup and choose a different outfit.

I’m going to see Vinnie again after everything that went down. I have to dress for the occasion.

I look through my closet. All I know is that I have to choose an outfit that hugs all the right parts of my body. Screaming and showing him what he decided to leave; unattended and unclaimed.

I wore a white, skin tight cropped tank top that cut low into my breasts. Lace filled the rims of the tank top. Paired with light washed blue denim pants that hugged every angle perfectly.

I smiled at myself at my reflection through the mirror.

I grabbed my car keys off my desk, walked out my room, down the stairs and out to my car.

I didn’t want anyone to question where I was going so I left without notice.

I drove down the hill, plugged in the address to my phone leading the way to Vinnie’s new home.

It was thirty minutes away.

Vinnie’s POV:

I’m FREAKING out.

I am in no way shape or form prepared to see Y/N.

How in the world could I be such a dumbass? How did those messages even manage to be sent?

But what’s done is done.

Y/N said she was going to be here in an hour. That was 40 minutes ago.

I'm fresh out of the shower. I’ve sprayed on cologne but I might’ve put too much on, so now I’m a nervous wreck. I don’t want to smell like I’ve dumped the whole bottle on myself.

I feel like pulling my hair out.

I took a couple deep breaths before sitting down on the couch.

I’m wearing a white fitted t-shirt with khaki cargo pants. Nothing too crazy.

I fiddle with my rings distracting myself from my crazed thoughts.

What are we even going to talk about? I didn’t intend for this meet up and now I’m stuck with it.

Not that I don’t want to see her because God knows I do, just not under these circumstances.

She’ll be expecting a reason for coming over and I have none.

What have I gotten myself into?

How did those damn messages get sent?

Y/N’s POV:

I’m pulling up to his driveway and I park by his entrance.

So this is his new home?

It’s on a private road, nothing extreme like the Hype House but secluded.

I sigh before exiting my car. I nervously walk to the front door.

Should I have texted him that I’m here? Maybe knocking at the door or ringing the doorbell is overstepping a boundary.

But, I’m already at the door, there’s no point in going back.

I knock and immediately put my hand back down.

I feel like I just ran a marathon because I suddenly feel warm and my heart’s beating a hundred beats per second.

It feels like an eternity before the door opens, revealing a Vincent Cole Hacker. Right in front of me, in the flesh.

I feel my heart instantly break again as my eyes meet with his honey ones. Just seeing him hurts. I don’t know if I should turn around and leave, crying in my car seems like a perfect idea right now.

We both stand awkwardly at the door. Neither he nor I initiates a conversation or a gesture.

I break eye contact and my eyes are roaming anywhere but his. I instantly feel small and regret coming in the first place.

I could feel Vinnie’s eyes no longer on mine, but on my body. His eyes were trailing my body, I felt them like lasers against my now vulnerable skin.

I get the courage to look back into his eyes and he meets with mine again.

He clears his throat and speaks up.

“Y/N, hey. Uh- come in.” He says deeply. I could tell he was nervous.

I sent him a forced smile and walked in.

As I set foot into his house he closed the door behind us.

My eyes roam the new surroundings. It’s nice and spacious here.

As I’m taking it all in he invites me to the kitchen.

I follow behind him as he leads me to a seat in his kitchen island.

“Want a water?” He asks me delicately. Almost as if he spoke too loud we’d both wake up from this dream or somehow ruin this bizarre moment.

I hum a response along with a nod.

He smiles a small smile, before turning away from me, to grab a bottle from the refrigerator. His back facing me.

His small smile brings heat into my cheeks for a small moment, my tummy fills with a few butterflies.

I hate how with just the smallest smile, he can send my body into abyss.

He turns back around and hands me the bottle.

I open it because suddenly I’m thirsty.

I gulp down a couple sips. His eyes darted to the bottle against my lips, to my jawline, down to my neck and chest.

I place the bottle down on the counter once I’m done, his eyes never leaving me.

I clear my throat quietly to gain his attention back.

His eyes widened as he realized I caught him checking me out. His cheeks turn deep red.

Vinnie’s mouth opens to apologize or throw me a lame excuse to hide the fact that he was looking at the most sacred parts of my body.

“I know it must be hard,” I let out, our eyes meeting once again.

“Yeah…” He trails out, his hand meeting the back of his head, scratching his curls nervously. “Sorry about that.”

I don’t utter a response back

He’s standing awkwardly inbetween the fridge and the kitchen island.

“You know you can sit, right? It’s your house.” I say, a small smile forming on my face.

A chuckle leaving my lips, he seems to lighten up a bit.

“Right,” He says cutely, as he takes a seat adjacent to me. Gosh, I forgot how darn adorable he was when he was nervous.

I smile, a tint of pink on my face.

“So, how’s everything?” He says once he got comfortable in his seat.

The air in the room feels a tad bit more relaxed and less awkward now.

I take a couple seconds to respond to his question.

“It’s been good,” I say with a trail in my voice, almost like I’m convincing myself it’s been good.

“Yeah?” He questions with a furrow in his brow. His voice soft and caring.

“I mean what else could I say?” I respond with a shrug, breaking eye contact as I look anywhere but him. I felt my throat clenching and tightening, along with my sudden pained heart.

He let out a sigh. “Yeah.” He says like he understands what I mean. I look back over to him.

He’s looking down at the counter and I let out a silent sigh myself.

“What about you? How was Ami Paris?” I ask, slightly changing the forsaken conversation, genuinely interested in the new topic.

I would’ve expected him to look back up but instead he slouches even more, if that was even possible.

I guess the words ‘Ami Paris’ brings back memories. It sure does to me. I know it does for him.

After a couple of quiet moments he looks back up and the way his saddened eyes bore into mine, it almost brings me to tears. But I hold them back.

“It’s over, finally.” He whispers the last part to himself, but I hear it plain as day.

“Great opportunity, though. I’m sure,” I say, trying to lighten up the mood.

He looks up with a nod.

“Yeah,” He says with pressed lips. He’s holding back his words, I know he is.

He clears his throat.

“So how long have you been back?” I questioned.

His eyes met mine, right as my voice met his ears.

“I got back late last night. Today’s my first official day back,” He informs.

I nod my head, listening to his sweet voice and the words that slip through his lips.

“I just had to leave Seoul,” He huffed, almost sounding distressed. His hand met with the roots of his hair, slipping through.

“It ended already, if I’m correct?” I questioned, referring to the fashion show.

He hums, nodding his head.

“Yeah. I was invited to a couple after party events. But, I just needed to come back home, though,” He sighed softly.

I nodded.

I could tell it was a sour subject for him and I didn’t want to press him.

The kitchen became heavy, again.

It was quiet. Not a comfortable silence, but an awkward one.

Both of his arms were holding his head. He was facing down into the marbled island.

My eyes met him. His broad shoulders and biceps were in plain sight. The tattoos on his arms, exposed, bringing back memories. Memories in which my fingers have traced those same tattoos thousands of times. Tattoos that were practically mine at the time. I still feel a deep connection to them.

I didn’t even realize the sigh that escaped my lips.

The sigh that slipped through my lips made him look up at me.

He sent me a sympathetic smile. Almost as if he knew exactly how I felt.

“It’s been a while, right?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I only nod.

His jaw was clenched and he rolled his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

If it wasn’t for the wall that barricaded my emotions and heart, I would’ve straddled him then and there. Kissing him endlessly. The sight of his tight jaw, in a perfect angle, made me feel indescribable feelings.

But the Y/N that would do that is gone. The Y/N that was Vinnie’s girl is no longer in existence. I’m no longer his girlfriend. It’s not my place to kiss him, even though I’m dying to.

At the same time though, it hurts me. The thoughts of kissing him and straddling him right here in his kitchen sends my heart into ache.

Vinnie hurt me. I loved him, with my life and he took that for granted. I wasn’t going to fall at his feet just because I love him.

His choice to leave me has consequences.

He locked his eyes with mine. I stared back at him, not saying a word.

At this point, I just wanted to go back home and fall under my blankets.

What was the point of being here if we were going to sit in awkward silence?

Right as I was going to leave this awkward situation he spoke up.

“I’m really sorry,” He croaked out, voice cracking.

He looked at me, waiting for a response, a reaction.

All he got from me was a deadpan stare.

His eyes pleaded for a response, my heart crinkled.

“I don’t know what you want me to say Vinnie,” I respond, not meaning for it to come out as harsh as it did. But it did.

“I-II know,” He quickly retorted. “A-and you don't have to. I screwed up. Big time. I’m such an idiot. A big fucking idiot. And you don’t deserve this. I’m lucky enough that you came and that you’re sitting here, listening to my damn excuses.” He rambled on, as I sat listening.

Still with a neutral face, but on the inside I’m confused as to how to feel.

I already knew the second he broke things off that he was making a mistake and I was going to rub it in. I had to be a bit selfish and he couldn’t be upset about it.

“But yet you still decided to go on with the breakup. How is your smart decision going now?” I let out.

I was being harsh, I know. But he broke me into a million pieces and I had to put them all back together. And I’m barely starting to get back on with my life but he had to barge back in.

“You were right,” He whispered, breaking our eye contact. Coward.

“Yeah, well, it’s too late for that now,” I stated, softly but definitively.

I pushed the chair back and as I was about to stand up to leave, he interrupted speaking pleadingly, begging.

“Please, Y/N!” He stood up, out of his seat. My eyes met his figure.

His eyes were glossy, his cheeks and ears a pomegranate red.

My heart was met with a pang. All I wanted to do was run away. Being here was too much, it’s overwhelming.

“I think meeting up was too soon. The breakup is still fresh and clearly we’re both not over it. I know you’re hurting Vinnie but remember this was your idea. I was there too, right where you are now. It’ll get better though. Trust me, you just have to have the right people supporting and surrounding you,” I say, just wanting to get the hell out of there.  

I didn’t even look back at him as I walked away, to see how my words affected him. I just wanted to leave this whole thing.

As I was bare inches away from exiting the kitchen, the same way I entered, Vinnie caught my attention again.

I stopped midway as the words met my ears.

“What, like how you have Jacob?” His words were filled with anger. The first harsh words he’s sent me today.

I scoffed as I turned back to face him.

He was still standing in the spot where he was on the verge of tears. That Vinnie is gone.

The Vinnie I was facing now, was fuming.

“As a matter of fact, yes Vinnie! Jacob would be a prime example,” I screamed out.

He just stood there, death glaring. He stood there silently, the steam fuming out of his ears was almost evident.  

All I could do was roll my eyes and start walking away again. My back facing him.

I was over it already.

Of course, as I was about to exit Vinnie shot me another comment.

“Yeah, go run back to Jacob!” He rudely yelled out.

I turned around quickly.

“At least I have someone to run to!” I screamed out.

He let out a loud grunt, not expecting my response. His fists met with the marbled stone. He let out a hefty yell, after punching the kitchen island.

I saw the red bruised knuckles he carried around, they were fresh but not seconds fresh.

“Go punch some more walls, or whatever you’ve been up to,” I angrily blurt out.

I let out an upsetting huff and turned to walk away this time.

I was already walking out the living room, when I heard him quickly trying to catch up to me.

“Just leave me alone, Vinnie. This was a mistake. Coming here was a mistake. I thought meeting up might somehow make things better, but I was clearly wrong.” I say, meeting with his soft brown eyes again.

“No, Y/N, I’m sorry. “ He tried apologizing.

“No, don’t fucking apologize! I’m tired of your apologies and dumbass excuses. Just admit it, you were a little bitch. A fucking coward, couldn’t even be a man and work for our love. I gave you my all and you couldn’t even wait. What four weeks? Me and you could’ve been having the time of our lives right now in Seoul. God, I’m glad we broke up. This just showed me that I don’t want someone like you in my life. Why would I want a boyfriend who can’t even love me enough to fight for us. It was great, what we had Vinnie, but it’s over.” I expressed turning around.  Goodbye Vin-” I was saying mid-turn trying to walk towards the front door, until I was stopped from continuing.

Vinnie had grabbed ahold of my hand, pulled me towards him and pressed his lips onto mine. It all happened so fast, I didn’t capture what just occurred until my lips were on his.

He had smashed his lips onto mine, it was full of fierce and passionate energy. I was taken aback. I stood still, my lips were motionless against his. I was in shock but the arm he had tightly wrapped around my exposed back and the hand that was softly yet firmly set on my cheek brought me back to life.

My lips fought back against his, ferociously. Our lips were at battle, our breathing was trying to catch up to us.

My arms quickly wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to me, despite my feet tippy toeing to reach his tall figure.

He lifted me off the floor and I wrapped my legs around his waist. The palm of his hands were pressed against my ass. I could feel his long fingers pressed against my skin through my denim.

As our swollen lips were reuniting, he gestured my ass against his firm waist causing me to let out a whimper.

The sudden friction against my core caused warmness to travel all across my body.

Vinnie’s eyes shot open due to the breathy moan I let out, disconnecting our kiss, I could feel his eyes on my visage.

My eyes were screwed shut and layed my face on his shoulder. I bucked my hips into his waist in hopes of feeling that same tingly feeling he caused me. I did it again but the sensation did not meet the one that Vinnie caused.

I let out a deep breath in defeat. But my heart accelerated when I felt Vinnie’s hand rocking me into him. I let out a sigh as my heat pressed against his toned skin that could be felt through his tight shirt. His hands gripped my ass and at the angle that he had me in and with every rock towards him, my clit was being pressed into the denim of my jeans and the roughness of his skin.

I let out whimpers and I could feel the sweat forming on my forehead.

Third Person POV:

Vinnie was forming hard on, caused by his doing. Y/N was penetrating herself against him and he was helping her.

His eyes met her. She had her head rested on his shoulder and her legs wrapped around his body.

Vinnie lowered his face and pressed his lips on her soft skin. Her breasts look divine in the small tank top she wore. Vinnie came into contact with the lace that accentuated her boobs.

Y/N could feel Vinnie’s lips pressed against her exposed boobs.

She couldn’t believe what was happening but the ever-amazing feeling that she was feeling on her clit with every swift moment, caused her not to care.

All the tension she’s had for the past month was being soothed against her pants.

Vinnie’s thumb swept against her nipple and Y/N felt a ray of lightning hit her core.

Vinnie could feel her nipple hardening at his touch. He proceeded to do the same with the other nub.

As he toyed with Y/N’s breasts he lowered her down onto his hard dick and with the impact of both of their cores meeting they both let out groans.

Y/N’s POV:

As I felt Vinnie’s hard dick against my vagina’s lips, an even more explicit feeling coursed through my veins. I wanted and needed more of him.

“Vinnie,” I let out softly as I continued to rock myself against his bricked dick.

“We’ll talk about it later.” He whispered in response.

And with that I was content with what was happening.

I nodded and pressed my lips against his cheek.

I looked behind Vinnie and saw the stairs that I presume leads to his room.

And for the first time since our sexual encounter our eyes met. It felt like we were in a trance.

I lifted my head towards the stairs, non-verbally telling him to take us to his room.

He smiled and turned his body towards the stairs. Not letting go of me as he walked up them.

His hands stayed on my ass, pressed firmly on it as I started sucking on the soft skin of his neck.  

I aimed for his soft spot that I’ve grown to memorize for moments like these.

“Oh fuck.” Vinnie slipped out.

I smiled as I heard his little moan knowing I was the one causing his pleasure.  

We finally made it to a large room, instantly recognizing the familiar bed frame.

Vinnie dropped me onto the comfy mattress, I layed there sprawled on his bed as he eyes me from above.

Our eyes interlocked as I heavily breathed on his bed, feeling the look in his eye.

None of us make a sound, only admiring one another.

He sank down towards me, his hand on either side of my body. He gently grabbed ahold of me, lifting me up as he laid on the bed. Placing me on top of him.

It was a gentle and sweet gesture but as our eyes met I knew he was ready to commence.

I was straddling his laid body. Both of our heats aligned to one another.

His hands are on both sides of my hips, ready to start rocking me against his hard member. I placed my hands on his lower abdomen, steadying myself.

We both gave each other little nods before we continued.

I rocked forward in sync with Vinnie’s arms pulling me towards him, against his hard dick.

As I met his hardness, I felt myself dampen further into my panties.

I closed my eyes right before rolling them. I’ve definitely missed my clit on the verge of climaxing. And not just one driven by me, but one with the help of a male. Apparently that male was destined to be with Vinnie, again.

I fluttered my eyes open to the sound of Vinnie’s grunt.

His face is tight and his brows are furrowed. He’s beautiful.

Vinnie fastened our rocking and I could feel the bundle of nerves that consists of my clit feeling immense pleasure with each second that was met with the bulge in his pants. With this rhythm I’d be cumming in no time.

“Vinnie. I’m going to cum soon,” I whispered, before closing my eyes forcing myself deeper into the curve in his pants.

“Oh fuck, me too.” He let out a gasp, feeling me forcing myself lower onto his hard on.  

“I need to take my fucking jeans off,” I desperately say.

I lift myself up slightly from Vinnie's lap, unbuttoning my jeans and tearing them apart.

As soon as I was left in my panties, Vinnie stripped from his pants.

I ripped my tank off and Vinnie was on the verge of taking his t-shirt off.

“Can’t even wait for me?” Vinnie smirked as I continued dry humping him.

His shirt was way over his head when his hands gripped my lower waist.

He readjusted himself up and cupped one of my breasts through the padding of my bra.

He gave it a rough squeeze. “I love your boobs!”

I smirked and his eyes trailed to my other breast.

“Well, why have them covered?” I beam as I smirk, unclasping my bra, exposing my breasts.

I lean forward towards his face and he happily gapes his mouth open, taking one of my breasts into his mouth.

His tongue swirls around my nipple and my hips involuntarily shake due to the sudden pleasure that rushes to my clit.  

My breath hitches as Vinnie sucks my nipple causing me to grab ahold of his torso.

He bucks his hips up causing the bundle of nerves in between my legs to meet with his hard dick. I let out a loud vocal moan.

I seep my underwear to the side, exposing my bare clit, allowing it to meet the clothed rockness of Vinnie’s dick.

I continue moving forward, in a quicker state, my bare clit meeting Vinnie hardness.

“Oh, oh, fuck.” I loudly moan out. My heart is accelerating and as I pant out for air.

I could feel my nipples hardening to the new amount of pleasure seeping through me.

“God, Vinnie. This feels too good. Please keep going,” I plead.

Vinnie pinches the unattended nipple and twists it, tightening it in between his thumb and index finger. His mouth filled with my other tit.

His free hand met with my bare skin in between my legs.

“You’re so wet,” He groans.

His middle finger and index finger start to massage my clit.

“O-oh, Vinnie.” I instantly cried out, feeling spinny.

I shut my eyes as his fingers swirled in slow and steady circular motions, hitting that one particular sensitive spot each time.

I shuddered, my toes curling. As much as Vinnie’s fingers brought me to glory I ached for his dick inside of me. But, Vinnie’s fingers just made me want to come undone.

I’m a shaking mess and he roughly fastens the swift movements against my clit. My eyes met his determined face.

His brows knitted together as he held in his breath. My eyes trailed to his arm that met the lips in between my legs.

“Vinnie, please.” I begged as my fingers grazed into his briefs.

He was making me a mess. God, how could I have forgotten how good he was at sex and at making me feel so fucking good.

I looked up and met his honey colored eyes as I was on the verge of cumming right into his pretty hands.

He had a proud smile and I just let out a small laugh, playfully rolling my eyes.

Vinnie's hands left my core and I pouted.

He looked up at me and let out a laugh.

“Don’t worry I’ll have you cumming in no time. I know you were so close and you’re probably upset at me for stopping. But I promise it’ll be worth it.” He smiled, leaning up to me.

His mouth nearing my ear, whispering. “I’ll be slamming into you so right that you won’t be able to stop yourself from cumming. I want to see you shaking out of control, grabbing hold of me because it’s too much for you to handle. It’s going to be so fucking overwhelming but you’ll be begging me to not stop. I promise.”

His voice sent tingles and shivers down my neck, covering my whole body.

A small whimper escaped my lips as I nodded.

I wanted to be fucked by Vinnie, so hard that I won’t even remember where I am. The only thing I’d feel is my body combusting and coming undone.

I lifted my body up allowing myself to slip his underwear off.

Vinnie managed to kick them off. Both of us are now naked on his bed.

So, this is really happening?

Vinnie’s dick springing up after being released from his underwear. The sight of his cock caused my brain to shut down.

Without a thought, my hand slightly inched towards his member. For a second, I held back. My heartbroken state came back for a second but as quickly as it came it went away.

My hands gently met his precious penis. Such a pretty figure.

I swear if it wasn’t for Vinnie being an ass my lips and mouth would’ve been obliterating his dick right now.

But for now my hands will have to do.

The tip of my finger met the head, precum lubricating it.

A sigh was heard, almost sounding like a wince escaping Vinnie's lips.

I gently grazed my hand down his member. Not exactly giving him a handjob. More of showing my infatuation for it.

I bent down slowly, placing my lips on the sensitive tip of his penis.

Vinnie was muttering silent profanities, I could tell he was trying his hardest not to buck his hips up. He wanted my lips wrapped around his member, badly.

But, if anyone was going to pleasure someone, it was going to be him pleasuring me.

I slightly gripped his dick and pressed it against the bundle of nerves aching for him.

I maneuvered the head of his penis up and down my lips, meeting my clit every time his head went up my lips.

I shivered and croaked out a moan due to the touch of his dick.

Vinnie hissed at the grip my hand has on his penis.

His hands roamed up my bare stomach. His touch against my skin sent shivers up and down my body.

I kept steady movements and started rocking my hips to insync with the touch of Vinnie’s dick hitting against my clit.

Stars appeared in my head with each hard impact that met on my clit.

I gaped out for air. My hips abruptly lifted away from his member due to the immense amount of pleasure coursing through my body. Vinnie quickly set his hands firmly on my hips, keeping me set on top of him. Knowing damn well that I was close to cumming soon.

I lifted myself up and aligned Vinnie’s dick to my entrance and slowly lowered myself onto him.

Our breaths hitched. My eyes fluttered closed, I placed my hands on his lower abs for support.

I could feel the hardness of his penis seeping through me. The head of his dick was completely in me, I could feel my walls clenching around Vinnie, causing him to let out a pleased moan.

I continued lowering myself, the feeling of fulfillment seeping through my blood.

I let out small whimpers as I adjusted to his full length.

He was balls deep in when he let out a grunt. My pussy was clenching his hard cock. It felt amazing. So full and great in me.  

“You’re so fucking tight…” He grumbled out, head leaning back into his pillow, eyes completely shut as he composed himself.

As he laid back, I lowered my face to place small kisses on his abs.

As I placed kisses on him, he started playing with my hair.

I looked up at him from his stomach and he gave me a little nod.

I sat back up and lifted myself up and quickly lowered myself down, our skin slapping against each other.

I could feel every single detail and texture of him inside of me. Each vein prominently intensifies the urge to break loose with him in me.

I lifted myself back up again and started quickening my pace.

Jamming him into me with each time I slapped my body down.

“Mhmm, fuck.” I whimpered out.

My ass hits against his thighs, creating slapping noises that echoed throughout the whole room.

Vinnie’s grunts and my whimpers that were growing louder by the second, it  could fill the whole house.

From down below, Vinnie has a perfect view of my boobs swinging up and down my body. His hands gripping them.

I leaned towards him, giving my lower body a better angle to slam down into his dick.

“Yeah, fuck, like that.” Vinnie deeply expressed.

His hands now trailing down my back, meeting at my ass, gripping it. He motioned my thrusts into him and he bucked his hips up deeping his dick inside of me.

I moaned loudly as his dick hit my g-spot.

I looked up to meet Vinnie’s eyes and as our eyes met as he switched our positions.

I was now under him and he laid closely on top of me.

I could feel his breath on my face and our eyes were entranced to one another.

My heart fluttered from the sudden contact, I looked down at his lips and he suddenly bent down to kiss me.

I didn’t retract from the kiss. I did the total opposite. My soft lips rekindled with his. His plump lips meet my deep red swollen ones. .

We were deep into our kiss, when suddenly I felt him stroke fiercely into me and I let out a loud moan.

My lips still against him, as I yelled out.

My hands wrapped around his neck, as my breath got knocked out of my lungs.

I spread my legs open to allow him to thrust into me.

With my legs wide open for him, he commenced his deep hard-driven thrusts into me.

He slammed into me with no regard or remorse.

I looked up at him and he was deeply concentrated and focused on his fierce thrusts.

His dick was sliding in and out of me with so much force that I couldn’t handle it. But, it felt amazing. I wouldn’t dare stop him.

My moans were no longer whimpers, they were full of lengthy loud ones.

He kept on slamming into me. His full dick meeting my insides with each deep thrust.

“Oh fuck, Vinnie. Please don’t stop,” I moaned out. Praising him for making me feel whole again.

He was hitting my g-spot with each forceful thrust.

“”Who fucks you this good, huh?’ He asks, grunting.

“You, Vinnie. Only you,” I let out, my mind delirious.

I was panting for air, goosebumps filled my body.

I could feel my legs shaking as I gripped the sheets from beneath me.

“Yeah?” He asks with a lifted brow. “Not even Jacob?”

The name ‘Jacob’ really sparked something in him because his hand gripped against my thighs, spreading my legs even further.

I lifted my legs up in the air, Vinnie in between them.

Thrusting into me like it was going to be the last thing he did.

With each push into me, he let out a grunt.

Almost as if he was trying to prove a point or keep in the moans I knew he had in him.

“Fuck no. I’ve nev-” I was saying until Vinnie ferociously slammed into me, the words no longer being able to come out of my mouth.

He kept on going faster after I confessed that Jacob and I never had a sexual encounter and I swear I was going to cum.

“Ahhh!” I yelled out. “Fuck, I’m so close.” I breathed out.

“Please Vinnie, please!” I moaned out, begging him to make me cum.

“Hold on!” He challenged, his hands gripping on my breasts, putting his whole weight on them.

He pushed harder into me, my breasts would definitely be forming bruises in a couple hours, but it was no problem to me.

He rode out his high. I could feel him twitching inside of me. Insinuating he was close to coming undone.

“You’re mine, Y/N. No one else’s.” Vinnie possessively says.

I nodded as I was close to my high, as well.

My legs were insanely shaking and I tightened myself, gripping Vinnie’s dick. Causing him to finally let out an exasperated moan.

I smirked and as Vinnie was on his last strokes, I quickly slid my fingers onto my clit and came undone with Vinnie.

He fell on top of me, laying on me. His dick still inside of me.

I look beside me to find Vinnie’s face laid on the crook of my neck. He was breathing heavily against my skin, causing me to giggle.

“You’re tickling me Vin,” I say in between giggles, with a huge smile on my face.

He turns his face, his eyes meeting mine and no longer deep into my neck. He sees me smiling and a wide grin appears on his face.

He then turns back and quickly kisses me all over my neck, causing me to laugh out loud.

“Vinnie, stop!” I say slightly, shoving his face away from my neck.

He lets out a cute laugh and lays back down, his face on my chest.

My hand tangles into his soft sweaty hair.

I press my lips against his face.

Vinnie closed his eyes due to my kiss. I swooned at the sight of his eyelashes.

He let out a sigh. “I never want this to end,”

“I don’t want it to either.” I softly say.

I gently grabbed Vinnie’s face and pressed my lips against his.

I could tell he was a bit surprised to my sudden affection but fuck it. I know Vinnie is the love of my life.

I pulled away from his heartwarming lips.

“Never hurt me again Vinnie,” I say seriously, looking into his eyes.

He looked like a kid on Christmas morning. He lifted himself up, leveling his face to mine.

“Never ever again! I promise you that. I’ll never make that foolish mistake ever again!” He exclaimed happily.

“Good! Now fucking kiss me again,” I say letting out a huge smile.

He lowered himself down to my lips mumbling. “Gladly!”

I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our chests were pressed to one another.

“I’ll never leave you again, baby.” He whispered, looking deep into my eyes.

I nodded.

His sweet lips met mine and I fluttered my eyes closed taking in the moment.

Vinnie pulled away from our kiss.

“Stay the night with me. Tomorrow you can go and tell everyone you’re mine again. Especially Jacob!” He proposed.

“You’re so annoying, you know that?” I smile, a blush forming on my cheeks. I knew he was jealous but my heart belonged to him.

“A tad bit.” He shrugged jokingly with a grin.

“I’m all yours and you’re all mine.” I say pulling his face back into mine.

Our lips smash into each other, sweetly.

“I'll toast to that!” He mumbles.

We continued conversing sweet nothings.

“I may or may not have broken down to my mom on facetime,” Vinnie confessed.

“Well I’m glad you did. I hope Maria kicked your ass!” I exclaimed.

He chuckled.

“Yeah, she did.” He paused. “So did my dad and Reggie,” He continued, causing me to giggle. He joined in my laughter.

“I love you,” I profess quietly, only for us to hear.

He sighed.

“Yeah, me too.” He smiled sweetly.

“I’m really sorry Y/N. I know I already half assed an apology but let me explain my awful train of thought. I thought that by ending things, you won't have to hurt and be in pain while I was gone. I knew you were always sad when we couldn’t be together because of work. I would see the light leave your eyes, I would see your red puffy eyes, knowing that that pain was because of me. We had already suffered enough before I broke things off. I thought that maybe if we broke up and I wasn’t in the picture anymore you wouldn't have to be so sad all the time. I thought that if we were apart, you’d be able to be happy without the thought of me in a whole ass other country. I’m so sorry. I just made everything worse. I was so fucking wrong.” He expressed.

I could see the tears brimming in his eyes.

“It’s okay baby. Don’t cry,” I spoke quietly. I swiped the tears in his eyes before they rolled down his cheeks.

He laid his face down into my chest.

“And the way I left you crying the night before I left for Paris. I was such a dick. But I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. If I just looked into your teary eyes or heard you cry for another second that night I would’ve stayed. But I used my power and dignity to leave, thinking I was going to help you.” He confessed.

It was eye opening hearing his side of things.

“I wish you could’ve just talked to me, Vin. We could’ve settled on a plan. I could’ve visited you in Paris for a couple weeks and we could’ve met up in Seoul,” I sighed sadly. “We could’ve prevented all of this emotional damage.”

“I know. I was such a fucking idiot.” He said looking back up to me, while I played with his hair.

“Promise you won’t do anything like that again! If you’re feeling anxious or upset we can talk. We can always talk, love,” I reassured.

“I promise.” He nodded.

“Okay good. I trust you.”

“I’ll never do anything to make you doubt me again.” He reassured, pressing kisses on my chest. “A positive thing that came out of this is that I know what life is like without you-”

“How the hell is that a positive thing Vincent Cole Hacker?!” I exclaim, interrupting what he was saying.

He let out a laugh.

“Let me finish, woman!”

“Is it those Paris girl you fucked?!” I say, raising my eyebrows. Not letting him continue.

“Oh god, no!” He said in disgust. “Don’t even remind me. I thought getting with them would help me get you out of my head. But when they would leave I would feel sick to my stomach. None of them were you, baby!” He explained.

I just gave him a petty look as I crossed my arms.

“No, don’t cross your arms, now I can’t see your precious boobs,” He pouts, trying to pull my arms apart.

“No. I don’t think you deserve to see them right now!” I sassily say.

He gave me a grimace look.

“What I was trying to say before you interrupted me is that I will never leave you again. Life is pointless without you. I know how dark and gray life is without you. My heart was failing and aching without you. I had no purpose. But now that I have the chance to be with you again. I won’t fuck up this time. I’ll take that chance in a heartbeat and I won’t ever let you go again. I promise you that,” He softly ends.  

I could feel the warmness on my cheeks and the butterflies in my stomach erupting.

“Okay fine, maybe you deserve to see them now.” I say, uncrossing my arms, an uncontrollable smile appearing in my face.

“Good because I missed them! And I already know what you’re gonna say: ‘you just saw them’. But baby I haven’t seen or felt them for a month. I have a lot of catching up to do!” He proclaimed.

“I like the sound of that!” I say giggling as he cups my breasts.  

My hands traced his Greek god facial features, letting them roam down his arms and chest.

As he peppered kisses all over my skin he spoke up again.

“You know I think fate brought us back together.” Vinnie hummed, looking up at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Really? Why do you think that?” I curiously ask looking down at him.

“So, I drafted those messages you got earlier. I didn’t send them because I was too much of a coward but somehow they got sent. I must’ve sent it without realizing. But God I’m glad they sent,” He professed.

“Well then we’re meant to be.” I smiled.

“Yes, we are!” He mumbled against my skin.

“We should get cleaned up.” He charmingly says as he kisses my chest, swiftly picking me up from the bed.

❁

Ahh! I hope you all enjoyed! This is my first ever writing smut for Tumblr, let me know how I did haha! 

Go ahead and request if you want me to write anything for you! 

Check out my masterlist & who I write for!

Thank you so much! 

taglist: 

@annab-nana @hoodpankow  @alaynahope714  @jeyramarie ❤️ @lemur46 @goldenroutledge​

[buddierecs]

post season 7 buddie fics

in honour of season 8 coming out in a few days, here is a list of mature rated fics that have been released over the hiatus set post season 7. make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

stay here honey (i don't wanna share) by: prettybegins "amidst his son leaving for texas, a sexuality crisis in his 30s, and the possibility of losing his best friend, eddie can’t seem to catch a break." word count: 14k important tags: idiots in love, jealous!eddie diaz, coming out, getting together, minor buck/tommy, miscommunication, meddling, angst, love confessions, first kiss all these broken parts by: woodchoc_magnum "post-season 7, where eddie is struggling with depression, trying to put his life back together, and hopelessly in love with his best friend." word count: 56k important tags: TW: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, angst, roommates, pining!eddie diaz, oblivious!evan buckley, evan buckley take care of eddie diaz, minor buck/tommy, getting together, eventual smut eddie diaz vs the buck's boyfriend agenda by: songbvrd "eddie starts gathering information about why no one trusts tommy. as he grows to hate their relationship more, he learns more about himself and what he wants." word count: 23k important tags: pre-relationship, jealous!eddie diaz, tommy kinard bashing, pining, gay!eddie diaz, team as family, therapy world war e(ddie's moustache) by: songbvrd "eddie is a little unhinged since christopher left. when buck gets yelled at for having facial hair, eddie makes a spectacle out of his own." word count: 19k important tags: unhinged!eddie diaz, jealous!eddie diaz, pre-relationship, tommy kinard bashing, mutual pining, emotional cheating, team as family thoughts and dreams that scatter, you pull them all together by: trageddie "chimney has a dream about eddie with a mustache. shenanigans ensue." word count: 11k important tags: mutual pining, jealous!evan buckley, minor buck/tommy, eddie diaz & chimney han friendship, getting together, food kink the christopher diaz reddit takeover by: dylaesthetics "christopher takes out his frustrations with buck and eddie on reddit." word count: 7.5k important tags: social media, christopher diaz is a national treasure, getting together, feelings realisation, tommy kinard bashing, chris never left la like a bird stealing bread out from under your nose by: daisies_and_briars "eddie diaz breakdown, season 7 finale fix it fic" word count: 21k important tags: eddie diaz needs therapy, angst, character study, getting together, hurt eventual comfort, buddie divorce 2.0 i'm holding on (barely) by: cranberrymoons "eddie and buck take christopher home to california; helena and ramon decide to follow" word count: 12k important tags: parenthood, complicated relationships, therapy, coming out, reconciliation, family dynamics, internalised homophobia, self-acceptance, gay!eddie diaz loves a game, wanna play? by: 42hrb "in the aftermath of chris leaving for the summer, buck convinces eddie they should apply for love island together." word count: 57k important tags: reality tv au, love island au, idiots in love, social media, getting together, flirting, making out, pining

i choose you and me, religiously by: instantcaramel "buck has a boyfriend but he can't stop thinking about his best friend." word count: 4.3k important tags: infidelity, texting, buck/tommy break up

[miaqc1]

Day for Truth and Reconciliation, pixel art. I ordered it from roxas_1 on fiverr.

Day for Truth and Reconciliation [Art] - MiaQc - Original Work [Archive of Our Own]

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Journée nationale de la vérité et de la réconciliation, image en pixels. Je l'ai commandé de roxas_1 sur fiverr.

Journée nationale de la vérité et de la réconciliation [Art] - MiaQc - Original Work [Archive of Our Own]