#L a R a 🦋

[lara978]

عفتنـي بلا وداع شلــون ارجـع فـدوة ودعنّـــي...!

ارجـع سكّــت اليحجـون جـرح الفـرگـة يوجعنـي..!

يعنـي ادموعي هيج تهـون وانت لـوحـدي عايفنــي..!

لا ميهمنـي كــــل الكــون تبقـى لـوحدك تهمنــــي..!

اقـرب نـاسـي اليســألــون گـالــوا انـت متحبنــــي..!!

[hubba1892]

Thomas Tuchel visiting a Traditional Japanese Tea Ceremony

[nefarrilou]

L U N A R N E W Y E A R

🐭 ⋘ Hair | Hat | Rat* | Earrings | Hanbok* | Shoes 🐮 ⋘ Hair | Flower | Top | Skirt | Shoes 🐯 ⋘ Mask | Hand Preset | Loincloth | Tiger (cat) 🐰 ⋘ Hair | Hair Acc | Necklace | Dress

🐲 ⋘ Hair | Horns | Top 1*2 | Acc* | Tail*+ Scales 1,2 🐍 ⋘ Hair 1,2,3 | Hat | 🦋 | Outfit | Snake* | Tail 1,2 🐴 ⋘ Hair | Hat | Top | Skirt | Shoes 🐐 ⋘ Hair | Headdress | Dress | No-Feet

🐵 ⋘ Hair | Hat | Dress | Shoes | Blossoms |🐒+🖐🏽 🐔 ⋘ Hair | Wings | Tongue* | Jewelry | Dress | Claw 🐶 ⋘ Hat* | Scarf* | Straw | Outfit | Katanas 🐷 ⋘ Hair | Hat | Outfit + Legwarmer* | Shoe* | Nails

+* Clipping

* Edited to fit the design

* Base Game

C r e a t o r s

🐭 @goamazons @magpiesan @kismet-sims @yakfarm @rimings @rustys-cc 🐮 @simandy @dizzyrobinsims @marsmerizing-sims @dallasgirl79 🐯 @vapidsims @ssspringroll @xldsims @dustyrat 🐰 @sixcircles @palacesims4

🐲@sixcircles @zynoox @maye @julhaos @srta-leila @dansimsfantasy @shandir @astya96cc 🐍 @luutzi @wenwem @simbience @1-800-cuupid @ommosims @natalia-auditore 🐴 @daylifesims @marsmerizing-sims 🐐 @sixcircles @wenwem @kotehok @snaitf

🐵 @plantainboat @zeussim @jius-sims @dansimsfantasy @kalino-thesims 🐔 @simandy @asansan3 @maya @zeussim @regina-raven 🐶 @natalia-auditore @myfawnwysimblr @the-daydream-archives @sims-musou @studio-k-creation 🐷 @zao @maya @charonlee @feralpoodles

🏮 H a p p y L u n a r N e w Y e a r ! 🏮

[cannibalsmayhem]

𓎟† TRANSiD C◇DES †𓎟

☂️ , 🍥 , 🔁 , 🔀 ~ TRANSiD ( GENERAL ) .

🌐 , ☁️ , 🔳 ~ TRACE .

💱 , 🧳 ~ TRANSNATi♡NALiTY .

📍 , ✈︎ ~ TRANSL♡CATiON

🌅 ~ TRETHNiC / TRANSETHNiC .

🥂 , 🏮 ~ TRANSCULTURE / TRANSCULTURAL .

��� , 🦿 , 🦽 ~ TRANSABLED .

💫 , 🐾 , ���️‍🩹 , 🦚 ~ TRANSSPECiE .

🧬 , 🩻 ~ TRANSB♡DY .

📏 , 🧍 , 🧍‍♀️ ,🧍‍♂️ ~ TRANSHEiGHT .

⚖️ ~ TRANSWEiGHT .

🛐 , 🌙 ~ TRANSFAiTH / TRANSRELiGi♡US .

🩸 , 🎐 ~ TRANSAMiA / TRANSBL♡♡D .

⏰ , 🍭 ~ TRANSAGE .

🌱 , 🍭 ~ OTY ( ♡LDER TO Y♡UNGER ) .

🌾 , 🍭 ~ YTO ( Y♡UNGER TO ♡LDER ) .

⛅ , 🍭 ~ AGEFLUiD / AGEFLUX .

➕ , 🧑‍🧑‍🧒 ~ TRANSPLURAL .

🐌 , 🧑‍🧑‍🧒 ~ TRANSTRAUMAGENiC .

🐚 , 🧼 , 🧑‍🧑‍🧒 ~ TRANSEND♡GENiC .

🧠 , ⏫ ~ TRANSSEVERiTY .

♾️ , 🔄 ~ TRANSAUTiSTiC .

🦋 , 🫧 ~ TRANSADHD .

📼 , 🦋 ~ TRANSSYMPTADHD .

🎭 , 💢 ~ TRANSBPD .

🔇 ~ TRANSMUTE / TRANSMUET .

〰️ , 🔇 ~ TRANSMUTEFLUX .

🔕 , 👂 , 🦻 ~ DEAFTRiC / TRANSDEAF .

🛡️ , 🗯 , 💭 , 🧑‍🧑‍🧒 ~ TRANSDiD .

🖇️ , 🧑‍🧑‍🧒 ~ TRANS♡SDD .

🥢 , 🦯 , 🐚 ~ CANEiAN .

🔦 , 🎗 , 🌩 ~ TRANSEPiLEPSY .

📦 , 🍱 ~ TRANSiTEM .

🌑 , 🎗 , 🌙 , 💨 ~ TRANSADDiCT / DiADDiCT .

🎠 , 🌈 , 🏳️‍🌈 ~ TRANS♡RiENTATi♡N .

💥 , ☀️ , 🦸‍♂️ , 🦸‍♀️ ~ TRANSUPERP♡WER .

⚡ , 🌙 , 🌑 , 🪐 ~ TRANSZ♡DiAC .

💭 , 💡 , 🌐 ~ TRANSPHANTASiA .

💽 , 💿 ~ TRANSTHYMESiA .

☯ , 🎑 , 🌉 ~ TRANS♡PiNi♡N .

😈 , 📣 , 💢 ~ TRANSHATE / TRANSHATEFUL .

💔 , 💢 ~ TRANSHARM / TRANSHARMFUL .

🐘 , 🥚 ~ REPUBLiX .

🐎 , 🗳️ ~ TRANSDEM♡CRAT .

🔱 , ⚜️ ~ TRANSiNTR♡JECT .

🕰️⏰ , 🥣⏰ ~ TRANSiAN .

⏰️3️⃣ ~ TRiAGE .

🦠⏪⌛ ~ PANDEMAGE .

🇲🇽💯➕ ~ HYPERMEXiCAN .

☄️🌐 , ☄️☁️ ~ XEN♡RACiAL .

🖌️🧳 , 🖌️💱 ~ XENONATi♡NALiTY .

☄️🥂 , 🖌️🏮 ~ XEN♡CULTURE .

🔰🌼 , ♿️💝 , 🌸💕 ~ TRANSNEUAJU .

⚡️🦋 , ⚡️📼 ~ TRANSHYPERFiXiATi♡N .

💺🎈 ~ TRANSQUADRi / TRANSQUADRiPLEGiC .

🫀⏪🐌 ~ TRANSBRADiCARDiA / TRANSL♡WHEARTBEAT .

🎀💎🧬 ~ TRANSTRiNAN♡PiA .

💤⭐️ ~ TRANSNARC♡LEPSY .

🌡️🩸 , 📍🥊 , 🎭📌 ~ PERMAPAiN .

🦠5️⃣🐱 ~ TRANSFiV .

🔁🕖 ~ TRANSYEAR .

🗣️💬📊 ~ TRANST♡NE .

🔁🔊 , 🔁💬 ~ TRANSV♡iCE / ALTV♡iCE .

🔁🏳🔊 , 🏳💬 ~ TRANSACCENT .

🔢🔊 , 🔢💬 ~ POLYACCENT .

🔢🏳〰️🔊 , 🔢〰️💬 ~ ACCENTFLUX .

🌀 , 💬📝➕ ~ TRANSLiNGUAL .

🔁📱🔊 ~ TRANSAACUSE / TRANSACC .

🦇👤 , 🦷🦇 , 🌱👤 ~ DENTESB♡DiC .

🦎👤 , 🐊🦕 , 🌵👤 ~ SPiCiSB♡DiC .

🖐️👤 , 🐾🐓 , 🍂👤 ~ UNGUiB♡DiC .

😈👤 , 🦄🦏 , 🍁👤 ~ RAMUSB♡DiC .

🕊️👤 , 🐦🦇 , 🍃👤 ~ ALiSB♡DiC .

🐾👤 , 🐶🐱 , 🌳👤 ~ MANUSB♡DiC .

☔🚰💦 ~ TRANSRAiNWET .

🔁💗👁️ ~ TRANSL♡VERPUPiLS .

👁️🌈🧩 ~ TRANSC♡L♡REDEYES .

💛💜🤍 ~ TRANSiNTERSEX .

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵 ~ TRANSTRANS .

��🖤💛🤍 ~ TRANSENBY .

🕯️🍃 ~ TRANSCENT .

🕯️🌊 ~ FLUiDSCENT / SCENTiANFLUiD .

♟️🔄 ~ TRANSCLUB .

💚🩷⚰️🌎 ~ TCOAALiXURE .

✨ ~ TRANSCURE .

🥇⭐️ ~ TRANS / PERMAFiRSTPLACE .

🥈⭐️ ~ TRANS / PERMASEC♡NDPLACE .

🥉⭐️ ~ TRANS / PERMATHiRDPLACE .

🟩☀️ ~ PERMAPARTiCiPACi♡N .

💤🛏🌙 ~ TRANSDiURNAL .

💤🛏☀️ ~ TRANSN♡CTURNAL .

⬆️⚧️ ~ TRANSM♡REDYSPH♡RiA .

⬇️⚧️ ~ TRANSLESSDYSPH♡RiA .

🔆✖️ , 🪻✖️ , 💛✖️ , 💜✖️ ~ TRANSGENDERDYSPH♡RIA .

🔀🧃🍭 ~ TRANSCHiLDH♡♡D .

📖🌟 ~ TRANSFiCTi♡NAL .

♾️🎭 ~ PERMAMASK .

🦇🪦 ~ TRANSVAMPiRE .

🖤⚰️ ~ TRANSDEAD .

🧪🕒 ~ TRANSRADiUMP♡iS♡NiNG .

🦠☢️ ~ TRANSEXPERiMENT .

🦾🌈 ~ TRANSPR♡STHETiC .

♾️💢 ~ PERMABRUiSE .

🔀⭕️ ~ TRANS♡BJECTUM / TRANS♡S♡R .

👨❤️💋👨 ~ TRANSFUJ♡ .

👩❤️💋👩 ~ TRANSHiMEJ♡ .

🪻🌎 ~ TRANSPEACEFUL .

🪷🌎 ~ TRANSHARMLESS .

🌱🪷🌎 ~ TRANSGREENTHUMB .

💉💢 ~ TRANSANTiVAX .

🔃🔗 ~ TRANSCRiMiNAL .

🔪 , 🔃🗡 , 🔃🔫 ~ TRANSKiLLER / TRANSMURDERER .

💜ϟϟ , 💜🍞 ~ TRANSN#4Zi .

💙ϟϟ , 💙🍞 ~ TRANSNE♡N#4Zi .

🌈☂️ , 🌈🍥 , 🌈🔁 ~ TRANSEVERYTHiNG / TRANSPAN / TRANSPANDiA .

🛡️🖇️ ~ TRANSDiD♡SDD .

☂️❔ , 🍥❔ , 🔁❔ ~ QUESTi♡NiNG TRANSiD .

☂️🤝 , 🍥🤝 , 🔁🤝 ~ TRANSiD H♡ARDER .

O = ♡ I = i !!

[xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx]

🌀 L I F E 🦋 i s 🦋 S T R A N G E 🌀

🦋 this action will have consequences...

[sskk-manifesto]

~ D r e a m i n g o f b u t t e r f l i e s

— Akiko Yosano & Shinobu Kocho for @angelozi 🦋

[punkpandapatrixk]

✨THAT GIRL ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘I know everything has its time and you cannot compete with destiny, is what I say. What I thought I wanted when I was younger, it wasn’t my time to have. I wanted to work with Calvin Klein—I did the fashion shows but I never did the ads. So it took me 34 years to do an ad. And, I said, “Okay. It’s okay. That’s my time.”’ – Naomi Campbell

Hey, Gorgeous~♥︎

Why do I get the feeling your fabulous era is coming fast? There’s this thing with Divine Timing, you know. As you work daily on yourself to become a vibrational match to your D E S T I N Y✨ the time will come when the world is ready to witness your S P A R K L E S✨

Your Light is needed by this world, in whatever capacity you feel a resonance with and in whatever fashion you find most exciting! We each have our divine time to be seen and heard. We can’t rush the caterpillar to grow into a butterfly, right? Often, there’s a painstaking process there. So what to do in the meantime? Become THAT GIRL you’ve always known yourself to be🌷

Who are you at the core of your being, Girl? Basically, if you nurture aspects of yourself that feel natural to you, you’ll discover that the key to your Destiny has always been in your hand. You just need to explore your potentials, experiment with yourself, test your limits and expand your horizon until you find the DOOR that’s the right fit for your key🚪🗝️

Live for yourself. Do whatever you wanna do and find yourself in the midst of novelty and temptation. So that you find your UNIQUE strength from within.

All in Divine Timing. Your fabulous era is coming~🦋

SONG: ♥︎Lonely in Gorgeous♥︎ by Tommy february6

SERIES: Paradise Kiss (2005)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – That Happy-Go-Lucky Girl

VIBE: Hot Summer by f(x)

the most UNIQUE thing about you, babe – 8 of Pentacles Rx

ADMIT IT. You loathe the idea of ‘hard work’. Gosh, the world is full of wonders and humanity has found a way to invent boredom and be depressed! You are definitely a Faery Soul. You have a unique, more sensitive point of view which causes the whole notion of ‘hard work’ to get over your head. Why work and not just play? Why is it so impossible for people to embrace lightheartedness and just, BE, happy? You just want to dip yourself in pastel glitter all day long.

For one, you’re definitely a rebel—whatever your style may be. You have so little regard for rules if you’re being honest. If anything, you make your own rules after careful testing and experimentation. That’s what you do with fashion as well. Fashion is fickle, but style is forever. And to you, there can be more than one style that you can call your own. You don’t like to limit yourself when it comes to things you can do, try or wear.

You can be like a chameleon and you love that fluidity/flexibility of yours. But on top of that, you’re also transformative. You’re a highly creative soul who has a penchant for reinventing your personal brand over and over again. You’re the brazen type that can rock ANY style and people still say, ‘That’s totally THAT GIRL’S style no matter what she does/wears!’ You possess a really strong, magnetic, energy signature.

path of least resistance – 8 of Wands Rx

Your aenergy is reminding me of famous rebels of Harajuku. Harajuku is a tiny, tiny, tiny patch of the entire fabric of Japanese society, but the creative souls who dwell there exude such POWERFUL aura. Exactly because they have a rebellious energetic signature that they express rather unapologetically😊

These are the rebels who know they’re meant to carve out a lifestyle of their own in the midst of Japan’s disgusting policy of conformity. The 8 of Wands in reverse here is literally representing the notion of a koi fish that swims upstream to become a dragon… or something like that. This is a Kafkaesque energy! You go the other way, baby—don’t follow the crowd because even they don’t know where they’ll end up!

The more you try to conform and follow what everyone else is doing, the more miserable and unlucky you become! Because doing so is against the policy of your Faery Soul’s authenticity. Whatever line of occupation you are interested in—genuinely interested in—I just know you’re meant to do your ‘job’ playfully, creatively, lightheartedly, passionately, and BEAUTIFULLY. Whatever you do, it’s pointless if you’re not surrounded by BEAUTY.

accept yourself glamorously!♥︎ – King of Swords Rx

Ay ay, don’t use too much logic, babe. You’re magic🧚🏻‍♀️Your intuition is more reliable than your intellect, trust yourself on this one. You possess this peculiar type of intelligence that is fuelled by passion from your heart. That said, your gut instinct is also that much stronger than your capacity for cognitive calculation. Hope that makes sense. You are essentially an otherworldly being. Though you may often feel like you’re a chaotic pile of confusion because of that.

Actually, you have spidey senses that help you notice a lot of things all at once and you don’t always know how to explain that. You just, absorb so much information from visual cues, auditory cues, and other invisible cues you pick up from the collective or aether. There’s always so much going on inside you because of this. But you’re just processing all of that information, so don’t worry, you’re not as chaotic as you think😆This is a SUPERPOWER!

You just need time to learn to accept this superpower and use it to your advantage. Didn’t Peter Parker also go through some hardships in the beginning? Before he knew how to use his new mutant powers? Yeah, something like that. Go do your weird shit and be a maverick. That’s how you become a vibrational match to your SPARKLY DESTINY🌟

ROMANTICISING YOUR FAIRY TALE🔻💗

the Hand of Destiny – Priestess of Enchantment

tick tock tick tock VOILA~♥︎ – Priestess of Divination

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – That NU IT Girl

VIBE: LA chA TA by f(x)

the most UNIQUE thing about you, babe – 10 of Wands Rx

With you, there’s a strong energy of a debutante girl who kinda just popped out of nowhere, springing forth from obscurity. The reality though, is that you worked really hard to grow into this new IT GIRL in town. Your hustle tends to be unseen by others. I’m guessing you have significant placements in the 8th House and 12th House; or those energies ruled by Scorpio/Pluto and Pisces/Neptune.

I think you genuinely like it that way though. Keep ‘em guessing, is your motto. It’s entertaining to you when people can’t figure out how you’re, YOU. Let the mystery of your growth keep ‘em speculating. You love it when people can’t stop talking about you. You don’t even mind the gossip. As long as all attention is on you~ You’ve got the whole world wrapped around your fingers~

You gravitate towards luxury and you love trends. It’s like, following trends is the only way you feel like you still belong to the Human Race. Unless you do so, you feel left out because you’re a real hustler HAHAH You tend to isolate yourself to study and work on building your empire. Though you may seem shallow to those who just know you on a surface level, I think pretending to be normal like this exhausts the living shit out of you.

path of least resistance – IX The Hermit Rx

You’re probably more spiritually attuned than you let out. Especially if you have significant 8th House/Scorpio or 12th House/Pisces qualities to you. Because of this, you tend to be a hermit, enjoying doing your own thing at your pace. Your inner world is more interesting than the outer world full of shallow and stupid people. You can’t stand that their ambitions are so tiny LMAO

However, it does seem like you can sometimes get obsessive with your studies or work. This is giving me that vibe of someone who’s become so comfortable in the darkness they get blinded once the curtains are lifted. You remind me of Sherlock Holmes played by Robert Downey Jr. A smart, calculating, strategizing weirdo who isn’t that great at social settings🤣

Of all the Piles, you seem the least in need of this kind of reading—because you already have a strong sense of self. You seem to me like you have your identity established already. You’re clear about your likes and interests and these aren’t going to change easily. I think this is partly why you can be into trends—all for you to feel like you’re less boring. Hahah I don’t think you’re boring; you’re timeless, babe✨

accept yourself glamorously!♥︎ – 7 of Wands

With your heightened sense of class and timelessness, you could be prone to envy and jealousy, right? You’re essentially someone who’s incredibly blessed, on top of that, you’re hard working. It’s only natural so much good fortune is bestowed upon you. You’re a go-getter. You aren’t afraid to claim your prizes. And I think you should honour and protect this with your life.

Having said that, I still get this feeling that your Higher Self wants you to share your burdens with someone trustworthy. If you could surround yourself with a tiny inner circle of Soul Friends, that’d be more than enough. It’s good to have a few friends you can count on. But if your trust has been broken and your faith wounded, this could take some time to heal, so that’s also understandable.

The most important thing is that you never settle for less in your friendships and even business relationships. You don’t have to ask for much; you just need to ask for what’s true. I have a feeling when you’re older you will be blessed with amazing rendezvous with a bunch of your Soul Family. Until then, enjoy shining on your own terms. You’re IT~

ROMANTICISING YOUR FAIRY TALE🔻🧡

the Hand of Destiny – Priestess of Prosperity

tick tock tick tock VOILA~♥︎ – Priestess of Faith

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – That Transcendent Alien Girl

VIBE: NU ABO by f(x)

the most UNIQUE thing about you, babe – 5 of Pentacles Rx

As per usual, Pile 3 often carries an alien vibe—in this case, almost robotic. You’re futuristic and avantgarde in the way you think, do or say things. With two Major Arcana, I can’t help but mention that you’re likely a Starseed or a Lightworker. Being one usually means you’ve had to face many oppositions in Life to get you all prepped up for your Destiny! What are you gonna do about it? Refuse your tasks and let the whole rotten world kill your Light? Hell nah.

What’s incredibly interesting about you is your morality. You have a super strong sense for justice and you carry yourself with high standards of morality. It’s just…because you’re an alien, what is moral to you might not always agree with the convention. You’re the type of person who notices how justice in this world is totally broken. I’m not even talking about a nation’s justice system—I’m talking about the general sense of what’s right and wrong for reward and punishment.

You’re the type that on the inside could be like Genghis Khan, Joseph Stalin or the Joker and Harley Quinn. You aren’t afraid to blow a damage to someone or a situation that’s been unfair. Your being chaotic, destructive, or simply disruptive as a punishment, is what’s JUST in your book of morality. I’m reminded of the story of the German Revenge Mother, so yeah… That’s real justice because this world’s moral compass looks terribly like a joke to you.

‘I am the punishment of God... If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.’ – Genghis Khan

path of least resistance – I The Magician Rx

Because your energetic signature is very alien, you’re a born eccentric. No matter what you do, you’re just…abnormal. Different. Depending who sees you, you’re either an inspiration or an eyesore. You can’t help it. You stand out too much. Those who see you as an inspiration though, usually feel so because your example (or your stories) gives them a sense of validation.

You clearly don’t belong; but you’re carefully doing your own thing; carving out your very own existence; establishing your place in the world through sharing and flaunting your unique talents. THAT is incredibly validating for other rebels, eccentrics, and outcasts who are similar in vibe to you. You are a powerful creator—a Magician—whether or not you’re aware of this at present.

Have you ever had this crazy feeling on the inside, that sometimes, you’ve felt like your moods affect the local weather near you? Or maybe you’ve caused electricity to go haywire when your emotions are heightened? Have you felt like your hands sometimes cause batteries to run out faster? Do you get electric shocks a lot even when the thing you’re touching shouldn’t be a natural conductor for electricity? Wood or even plastic?

Bitch, you possess a crazy amount of creator energy in you. Sometimes it leaks as sparks of insanity in the physical realm because that amount of potent energy needs to be moved. Remember: energy can’t be created or destroyed; it can only be moved or transferred. You were born with this insanity because you’re an alien. You’re more than capable of handling it. All of that is just needing you to learn to channel IT properly into passionate pursuits that can benefit Humanity~♥︎

accept yourself glamorously!♥︎ – VI The Lovers

I know you get shy sometimes. Thinking that your dreams and visions are too cringe or too wild, too crazy. But you wouldn’t even be able to perceive those visions if you weren’t capable of manifesting them. So, there’s a reason for that. And more likely than not, you’re meant to see it through that those visions become Reality. As for the cringe part…

Aish, your imaginations just need polishing. They’ll get better as you refine your senses and develop your tastes. Your Reality is bound to be more high-quality eventually LMAO Trust yourself for that! All great artists also started out quite pathetic if you compare their masterpieces to their pre-debut, or even debut, works. The manifestation of your desires is also a form of Art like that.

The more you merge with your Higher Self the more this will make sense. In the meantime, what you’re meant to be focusing on is your Lower and Higher Selves integration. The Human and the Spirit, ah I mean, the Human and the Alien merging as one navigating existence in this Earth Matrix😉

ROMANTICISING YOUR FAIRY TALE🔻💙

the Hand of Destiny – Priestess of Ritual

tick tock tick tock VOILA~♥︎ – Priestess of Beauty

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

How the TWST boys would react to their S/o going blind (having her/they're eyes gouged) out

(Preferably Fem!)

Preference for characters : M. Draconia ; R. Rosehearts ; L. Kingscholar ; V. Schoenheit ; L. Vanrouge ; I. Shroud

- M. 🥀🦋

Forcefully Blind Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Not by them. They love you dearly and even when you fight them they’d rather blindfold you than brutalize your precious eyes. Now whoever had this done or made this happen will suffer the same fate plus a world of suffering in some cases eternally. But even with your precious orbs no longer there, they love you all the same and will be more than supportive of this new change:

Malleus Draconia  

“If you cannot see then who deserves to!?”

Is livid

Raging indiscriminately until he finds a solution usually of the magical variety

Or by exacting his revenge with you encouraging him

If neither of those choices works he is practically glued to yourside

Kissing at your hand as he hovers over your bedside

You’ll have to convince him to let him be your eyes

In which he will create a description with poetry and flowery language

“Let me be your eyes, your sword, your everything!”

Riddle Rosehearts 

“OFF WITH ALL THEIR HEADS!!!!!”

He’s going on a spree 

With you safely tucked away he goes on a beheading and magic sealing spree

Returning to you with a hanged head and bloody clothes

He apologizes 

He swore to protect you and this is what happened

But now you must let him take control for who else is so encouraged to detail your recovery and established routes in the home

“These unfortunate circumstance, my rose will be what gives us order. Please don’t resist me!”

Leona Kingscholar 

“Grrrrarrr!”

Has more of silenced anger

He’s guarding you and having only his most trusted compatriots watch over you

Specifically while he gouges out your attacker’s eyes

When he returns to your side he’s heavily privy to the way it effects you

And thus he will nuzzle into your side 

“You’ve got the other senses don’t you? We just have to make them stronger.”

Vil Schoenheit 

“There…now you’ll have to trust that we both look immaculate today. You especially.”

He’s already ordered a hit on the aggressor 

Because he has no time for potato dredge outside of taking care of you

He will admit he appreciates how much more you rely on him

How he can always have you just out of sight of the camera so he can keep an eye out for you

But ultimately he focuses on keeping your spirits up

“Lets avoid the negativity and explore the positives.”

Lilia Vanrouge 

“Don’t worry love, nothing will change! Now we can play mystery finger more often!”

He is going to make your attacker suffer

He’s not going to kill them…on purpose

Because sometimes he gets a little carried away

He doesn’t change his inclination to tease 

And he finds how much more sensitive you are to be so cute

And believe he’ll sooth you as you mourn your loss of sight

“There there my bat, we’ll make this work.”

Idia Shroud 

“I-I can’t share the same games we used to…but on my life I’ll make this an experience we can share.”

He’s determined and resoundingly angry

Determined to find games and making inventions that will stimulate your other senses instead

Angry because this neet stole your eyesight from you

And it kills him to see you struggle around his room

So he puts more effort into cleaning or making robots that clean

But it does make a good case for keeping you in his room

“I’ll be here to help, and this way you can memorize where everything is! You’ll always be my player 2!”

[youremyheaven]

Astrology of Appearance: Yoni Animal Edition

Jyeshta men often have really full, thick lips. The Yoni animal of Jyeshta is a hare and I've noticed that many Jyeshta men embody both the energy of one but also resemble hares with regard to their face shape, especially their big ears, small and narrow eyes and full plump lips.

(L to R)

Jin- Jyeshta Sun

Ronan Farrow- Jyeshta Moon

Michael Jordan- Jyeshta Moon

John Legend- Jyeshta Moon

Namjoon- Jyeshta Moon

2. Magha Women (unless impacted by other placements) often have a long-ish oval face shape and thin lips with smaller eyes reflecting the appearance of this nak's yoni animal- the rat. Some women have large Ketuvian eyes that seem a bit dazed.

Btw Kat Dennings has lip fillers that's why her lips look fuller

(L to R)

Yoona- Magha Moon

Donna Summer- Magha Rising

Aaliyah- Magha Moon

Blake Lively- Magha Sun

Kat Dennings- Magha Moon

Kiara Advani- Magha Moon

3. Cow Yoni gals (Uttarabhadrapada & Uttaraphalguni) have wide set eyes and an inverted triangle face shape. They tend to have a pointy chin.

Lorde- Uttaraphalguni Moon

(L to R)

Natalie Dormer- Uttaraphalguni Moon

Daniela Braga- Uttaraphalguni Moon

Gemma Ward- Uttarabhadrapada Moon

Anya Taylor Joy- Uttarabhadrapada Moon

Halle Bailey- Uttarabhadrapada Sun

4. Krittika's Goat Yoni manifests in women as prominent cheekbones, smaller eyes, a strong jaw with a pointy chin

L to R

Tina Fey- Krittika Sun

Sushmita Sen- Krittika Moon

Keira Knightley- Krittika Moon

Sasha Alexander- Krittika Sun

Alexandra Breckenridge- Krittika Sun

Emily Deschanel- Krittika Moon

5. Bharani's Yoni animal is the elephant. Elephants are known for their prominent ears and in my observation many Bharani women have prominent ears

L to R

Cate Blanchett- Bharani Rising

Phoebe Tonkin- Bharani Rising

Christina Hendricks- Bharani Sun

🦋

Tumblr only allows 30 images per post so look forward to pt 2 <33

[lara978]

عفتنـي بلا وداع شلــون ارجـع فـدوة ودعنّـــي...!

ارجـع سكّــت اليحجـون جـرح الفـرگـة يوجعنـي..!

يعنـي ادموعي هيج تهـون وانت لـوحـدي عايفنــي..!

لا ميهمنـي كــــل الكــون تبقـى لـوحدك تهمنــــي..!

اقـرب نـاسـي اليســألــون گـالــوا انـت متحبنــــي..!!

وامــوت بحبــك يعــرفون لــــو بيــدك تمـــوتنـــي.!!

مــا تــرجعــلـٰي يتمنــــون لأن بـس انت عـــاجبنــٰي..!

[softspiderling]

⁺˚⋆｡elle°✩₊ she/her/bestie, 18+!!

main @elletalking library @softspiderlinglibrary rec blog @ellesrecs southeast asian, writer, CET/CEST timezone, free spirit, president of yapper nation, vice president of hyperfixation city, CEO of multiple WIPs that have so much potential, multifandom dabbler, chronically online, incredibly unserious, 1989 & midnights girly, geordnetes chaos, romanticizing life, did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion? it's me

D I R E C T O R Y

welcome 🦋 masterlist 🦋 archived 🦋 taglist

works in progress 🦋 emoji anons

O N G O I N G

ocean blue eyes 🦋 illicit affairs

R E C E N T L Y…

if you can’t take it (then get back) - jacaerys velaryon

like, ever - modern au / jacaerys velaryon

[peachpaloma]

C L A Ï R E 🦋

[ladybugsimblr]

Dizzy Des on the Music Industry, Bailey Kay, Money vs Marriage, His Legendary Career & More | JUICE CHAMPS R E B E L. T V - 118K Views - 10 hours ago

Comments 43K

wakeupmrwest Best interview yet! You don’t want to skip a second of this. Thank you Dizzy for joining us and schooling these dudes.

Dizzy Des This is why I started this network. A platform to speak our truth!

redpillscholar I knew Bailey Kay was just like all the other 304s. Using 🐱 to get ahead. No talent. You don’t want a female like that Dizzy. She’ll ruin your brand.

BadKidForLife King shit! Mad wisdom! I was taking notes!

kingb 🧢🧢🧢🧢🧢

bkstan 🦋🦋🦋

futuretoxicex Did you even listen to the interview before coming in here with your stupid butterflies? Take your twerking somewhere else. Dizzy was spittin facts.

rubberbandshan Reported dot com. Let me get outta these comments before I puke.

Ocsar: So you really suing BK?! How did it get this bad?

Dizzy: I don’t know! I’ve been asking myself the same damn question. One minute we’re all good, reconnecting, and then next thing you know she’s skipping out on business deals.

O: We know things started going downhill after your album release party. What really happened that night?

D: I had an amazing time and I made sure Bailey did too as everyone saw. But I don’t think she was able to handle those old feelings coming back. Instead of being honest with herself and going for what she really wants, she turned on me instead.

O: Wait. Wait! Run that back. Old feelings? You two had something going on?

D: We have history.

O: What kinda history? You smashed the Queen?

D: Let’s just say when Deangelo brought Bailey Kay to my door she was crackable. She was willing to do whatever it took to get put on. We worked hard, partied hard. Wild times back then.

O: Woooow!

D: Unfortunately we couldn’t make it work as a team. I tried but she chose a different direction. I guess she thought Khalil would do her- I mean do it better over at Blueprint. Obviously she chose wrong. I’m the King of this shit. We could have been on top of the world. True music royalty.

O: I mean BK is definitely on top of the world right now. Are you trying to take her down?

D: Funny choice of words but nah. I want her to keep winning in this industry. But I also want what’s owed to me.

D: Once I win my court case, get my simoleons and maybe a thank you, I’ll be waiting for her with open arms. Ditch those cornballs you got controlling you Queen. You need a high value sim like me to make you be the beautiful butterfly you claim to be.

[cinnamonxiomy]

Lᥲᥒᥲ Dᥱᥣ Rᥱყ bιos ρt2 // made by me <33

⟡ ˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤㅤ♡ ㅤ۫ㅤ ೀ ˖ㅤㅤ۫ ⟡ ˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤㅤ♡ ㅤ۫ㅤ ೀ ˖ㅤㅤ✧

1. 𐚁 Kᥱᥱρ mყ ᥣιρs rᥱd to sᥱᥱm ᥣιkᥱ

ᥴhᥱrrιᥱs ιᥒ thᥱ sρrιᥒg ઇ ♡︎ ઉ 🍒

2. ֹ ᮫ ⑅ 🦋 ֹ 𝓗ᥲρριᥒᥱss ιs ᥲ bᥙttᥱrfᥣყ ۪ ֹ𓂃݊

3. ✿ ꙳ 🫧 𝒞𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑦 𝑁𝑒𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 ・₊✧ ꕤ 𖤥 ⩇⩇:⩇⩇

4. ✧.* 𝓗ᥱᥲvᥱᥒ ιs ᥲ ρᥣᥲᥴᥱ oᥒ ᥱᥲrth ᥕιth ყoᥙ ˚ ༉˚‧

5. ֺ۪ ⭒ ݂ Aᥣᥣ thᥱ ᥣιghts ᥲrᥱ 𝒮ρᥲrkᥣιᥒg for ყoᥙ ‹3₊˚✧ ﾟ.

[americana-daydream]

🦋💫 L O R E N A 🪐⚡️

📍la chica tejana 🏜️🌪️

• part hippie, part cowgirl, fully rock n roll.

• probably born in the wrong generation

• the aesthetic is western americana, with a bit of 𝖊𝖉𝖌𝖊

some things i enjoy:

~ red dirt + classic country, classic + southern + blues rock (if your dad likes it, so do i) but I really enjoy all genres of music

~ a dingy dive bar with touch tunes

~ old books + vinyls

~ road trips + camping in my truck

~ animals + nature

~ yoga + hiking

~ sports

about myself + this blog

i’m 27 years old and have changed my career 3 times now. still don’t know what i want in life, just to be myself and be happy.

i am a classically trained musician, with no training in blues or jazz styles. sometimes i try, though.

die hard fan of all Dallas sports teams

this blog is my creative outlet, ever changing mood board, and a way to connect with others who share the same interests.

my asks and dms are always open. just please be nice, i am emo 🖤

[stargirlfics]

B U T T E R F L Y

Joel Miller x Black Latina Reader

Summary: Sometimes the path to healing starts with a reminder of what’s been lost

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, death tw, child death tw, some TLOU spoilers but doesn’t follow canon, post-outbreak!Joel, angst, hurt/comfort, trauma and violence mentions, fluff, slow burn vibe, mutual pining

Word Count: 5.6k

My mind has been stuck on the butterfly imagery connecting Sarah and Joel in the show, and in the game too! I grew up hearing from my abuelita that monarch butterflies are symbols of loved ones who’ve passed and I thought that would fit well here! This fic explores grief and pain but also finding hope through it too 🦋

To be soft-hearted at the world’s violent end, that’s where you’d decided to make a home for your heart with all its fragile beating.

Doomed is what they all said you were, surviving the outbreak this long sooner or later came with a price and they had been right, but still, half out of spite, half out of needing something to hang onto, the tenderness of you remained.

Surviving was a miracle and most could go on just grateful to wake up another day, but you’d seen how void life was lived here in the ruins of a former world, and as doomed as it all appeared, you tried your best to find pockets of light where you could, fighting the urge to shut yourself away. 

Because maybe one day those pockets of light would be abundant where they were once scarce, maybe one day, if you kept yourself open to it, there would be a sign of a changing tide to let you know you were finally safe. 

How strange signs could be, in plain sight but unseen until your brain could catch up with what your soul was feeling, and rarely did they ever come without complexity. 

In your case, that complexity came with a stern scowl that belonged to one Joel Miller. 

The first whispers you’d ever heard about Joel were that he was grumpy, stubborn, and not the kind of man to be messed with. He was the muscle behind trades done in shadowed alleys here in the QZ, illegal substances, weapons, extra ration cards, you name it. 

He was intimidating to most people, even you; having a reputation for being a man of few words and an even shorter fuse would do that but you knew there to be sorrow there too, etched deep in the lines of his face, reflecting like moonlight in his eyes. 

You’d never spoken to him, not in all your time in Boston, always seeming to narrowly avoid crossing paths, but you often saw him from afar. In the town square, catching glimpses of him waiting in line to collect a job’s earnings or in the pit, hauling bodies to the acrid cremation pyres smoldering hot throughout the day. 

If you thought about it, that’s where you saw the sorrow most.

That old, faded bandana he wore over his nose to block out the stench of burning gave you the clearest view of his eyes; sad, angry orbs fixated on the task like it was penance for him. 

All those hushed whispers told you he wasn’t a good man, that he had hurt people to get what he needed, and that wasn’t a surprise, you’d seen it enough to understand the grim nature of the wasteland you were in, how people often turned against each other if they thought it meant they’d live to see another day. 

Maybe that understanding was how it happened that day, the first time you’d meet, something in your soul already well tangled with something in his yet neither of you knew it yet. 

You’d been expecting someone else at your door that evening, a friend of yours with a bag of good soil snuck in from the outside in exchange for a radio of yours that was in decent shape. 

Instead, you were greeted by Joel Miller, bag in hand, a frown already on his face as he explained the switch up, even pointing to a note on the bag in your friend's handwriting to vouch for him. 

His voice had caught you off guard, a low, gruff bass in his careful cadence, Texan accent making the words go down smooth. 

“Okay, no problem, she did tell me she wasn’t sure if she would really make use of it. You can step in if you want, I’ll just be a second.”

Maybe you shouldn’t have been so trusting. 

That’s how people got robbed, taken advantage of, murdered and you weren’t going to get any sympathy from neighbors or any FEDRA soldiers in the area if something were to happen but despite that, and his reputation, you didn’t feel unsafe. 

Quite the opposite. 

Joel was certainly the grumpy type and you didn’t doubt he was capable of hurting you if he wanted but as you returned with the radio you found him just where you’d left him, his body filling your doorway in a way that reminded you of a guard dog. 

Something had caught his eye in the time it had taken you to walk back, gaze fixed somewhere behind you. 

It took you a second to realize what exactly he was staring at, eyes tracking him and following until they landed on the butterfly figurine hanging from the makeshift curtains of your kitchen sink window. 

Golden hour light warming the window had bathed the glass winged butterfly in its rays, casting fractals of color across the wall and the worn wooden floors. 

You studied his face for a moment then, a familiar kind of sadness reaching his eyes, the darkened circles underneath them a little more noticeable now. 

You wondered when the last time he got any proper sleep was. 

“I made it…” interrupting his thoughts gently you gestured towards the window when he looked at you in question, “La mariposa...took me ages to fit the glass and wire together right but I think it came out ok.”

He grunted in response, finally handing over the bag of soil when you noticed the slightest tremble in his hands. 

Oh…so he’d been caught off guard too. 

Something about your butterfly had shaken him up and you were curious, who could blame you for being tempted to cross what you were sure he would say was a line, but you pretended not to notice, trying to offer him some privacy, a second to collect himself. 

You’d appreciate it if he did the same for you in his place after all. 

The exchange was completed swiftly after, a palpable silence settling between you before he was leaving almost as quickly as he arrived, taking the fading summer sunset with him.

–

Joel barely slept that night, woken by nightmares again, a routine he was familiar with, haunted by the same old ghosts but it was different this time, the barbed wire around his heart digging in just a little extra, memories of her surfacing. 

Sarah. His Sarah.  

He didn’t realize just how long it had been since he was reminded of her this way, of what it felt like to be her father, shutting himself off to that years ago, unable to think about his life with her before because that pain was nearly unbearable. 

There is only after, the after in which she doesn’t exist, where he searches for her in his sleep and wakes knowing he won’t find her. 

Because he watched her slip away, had pleaded and begged to the skies to bring her back, had held her in his arms, hands stained red with her blood, and had to accept that she was gone and he was granted no time to say goodbye. 

Days turned to weeks, months into years and he had learned to operate on a certain level of numbness, just focused on surviving, never getting too attached, acting cold and angry, just a dead man walking. 

Until now, his chest nearly caving in with the truth that he was still breathing even after so long spent closed off. 

He wasn’t even sure why he’d considered your friend’s offer to complete the exchange at all, he knew he shouldn’t have, the radio you traded wasn’t in as great a shape as he would have liked, he knew that upfront and still begrudgingly agreed, not expecting to feel so exposed, so upended by a simple encounter.

That butterfly shining in the sunlight of your kitchen made his heart stop the second he saw it, flashes of memory surfacing, almost like his little girl was pulled to the surface of his skin again, like if he stepped inside he could reach out and she’d be there. 

A dreadful reality had washed that away after a moment, grief swallowing up the hope just as he knew it would, like it always had, but something was undeniably different this time for Joel. A difference that left an ache in his center. 

Because for those few fleeting seconds, he had felt alive again. 

–

The second time you met Joel was intentional, another bag of soil in exchange for some instant coffee this time. 

It was still early morning when he knocked on your door, quiet, hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans and a sleepy kind of softness that you hadn’t seen before around the edges of his eyes which made you wish he didn’t look so inviting then. 

It wasn’t so hard to look at him as unapproachable as he made himself seem, he was handsome, the streaks of gray peppered in his hair and along his beard lending to his rugged look. 

“About the coffee, it’s not as strong as it could be but it’s the best I’ve got,” you handed over a jar, watching him open the lid and sniff its contents.

“That’ll do just fine.” 

Relief arrived at his approval, you gathered it’d been a while since he had any and you were glad your stash wasn’t a disappointment. 

You watched as he knelt down to set his backpack on the floor, stowing the jar inside and handing you the bag of fertilizer mix you had inquired about. 

It wasn’t long now before he’d be out the door again, these things were best kept short and simple but as you thanked him for the exchange and moved to store the bag with your other garden supplies, you noticed a moment of reluctance. 

Joel didn’t plan on lingering around now that you both had what you came for but then he was reminded of what he felt the last time he’d been in your space and his mouth was moving with the thoughts that were swimming in his head before he could bite back the words.

“That’s a good amount of soil you have, got some sorta secret garden FEDRA don’t know about?”

Suddenly you felt very silly for wanting to smile at his curiosity but also recognized the significance of him asking. 

“Something like that, yeah. I…actually found a spot of flowers growing through one of the QZ fences and I’ve been tending to it. It's no garden but the flowers are in bloom now, first time I’ve seen real butterflies in years.” 

You watched him perk up at the mention of real butterflies, furrowed brows hiding the flicker of emotion mere seconds later but it was too late, you’d seen it already. 

Up until now, your little patch of greenery had been a private endeavor. 

Something for you to put some love and effort in, and just a quiet, secluded place to be, to clear your head or be alone for a while, away from some of the chaos in the streets, and yet here you were, now, carefully asking him if he’d like to see it too. 

You thought just maybe, bringing him there would do him as much good as it had done you. 

And it’s there, in that moment when he says yes that you see all that hard exterior start to slip just an inch.  

It’s an inch you can work with. 

–

Early morning dew still clings to the soft blades of grass sprouting up near the fence line, the section where you’d been taking care of the vegetation noticeably more vibrant with color and growth. 

Slowly, you’d been replacing the dirt, had saved as many roots and sprouts as possible, taking care in replanting them, and from there, a shabby little makeshift garden bed had formed. 

This would be your third week caring for it and now Joel was trailing behind your steps to see it too.

His body language was tense like he couldn’t quite be sure you weren’t actually taking him to some secluded corner to ambush him, but you get it.

Being wary was smart, but you couldn’t lie that it was satisfying to let him take it in without explaining anything first, the tension in his shoulders easing, sagging when his eyes fell upon the dusky blue flowers and rich green leaves and vines growing up from the ground, searching for the sun’s nourishment. 

Joel couldn’t be certain whether it was the day’s first tendrils of summer heat making him feel warm or the fluttering orange and speckled black wings of a butterfly nestled atop a marigold. 

He glances at his wrist, at the memento that never leaves his side, a broken watch, and there’s a moment of clarity in the silence where Joel can feel it, all the shattered parts of him spilling out, and there isn’t any way he can catch it all, he’s already too late and he knows it. 

Panic works its way into his bloodstream, causing his hands to shake, not used to being so disarmed, so flayed open. 

His fingers curl into a fist, trying to steady himself, needing a moment to catch his breath, to process. 

And there you were, your gentle voice cutting through the noise in his head and that tidal wave of emotion. 

“They’re monarch butterflies, which means they’re special,” you’ve moved a little closer now, watching another one land next to its friend on the flower. 

“What makes' em’ so special?” Joel takes a deep breath and you do too. 

You thought for a second he might shut down and walk away, there wasn’t anything keeping him here after all, he had the coffee he came for and yet still took you up on your offer. That in itself was difficult not to attach yourself to immediately but there was no denying it felt good to know you’d earned maybe an ounce of his trust. 

“In Mexico, my abuela used to say they were a sign of the dead coming to visit the living, loved ones, our ancestors, the monarchs carry their souls to us. I think they’re good luck too.”

The smile working its way onto your lips is fond, sad, one you knew he’d recognize, the silent but shared knowledge of loss was a heavy burden to carry. There was no mistake about it, but being here, amongst your flowers and your butterflies made it easier. 

Orange and gold halos shimmered around the plant life softly swaying with the wind, your own features now warmed with the climbing sun, brown skin shining deeper under the light. 

Joel was looking at you now, following your words. The meaning of what you were both looking upon hitting him square in the chest when that feeling blooms behind his eyes again, that itch of something alive, something beautiful growing again amongst concrete ruins.

And it's there, standing next to you, watching you water the soil while butterflies float around you that he works out what that feeling must be. 

Salvation. 

–

After that morning, trading goods with Joel became a regular occurrence. 

Soil for another stash of coffee or a packet of seeds for a hunting knife in need of experienced hands, neither of you quite sure how it happened but eventually the trades became more like friendly favors to each other than practical transactions. 

Your ‘garden’ also became a frequent place for you both to go, so much so that on any given day you could bet he was there, a quick stop on his way back home, or in the morning before the day started, it became an unspoken shared refuge. 

Joel helped you fix up the makeshift garden beds when it became clear your tender care of the plants called for an upgrade and you were grateful for it, dismissive at first, not wanting him to feel obligated.

You could handle yourself around a hammer and a few nails but he insisted and you relented, the two of you knelt under the setting sun, working on the task together. 

It didn’t matter that it was closing in on curfew time, or that you didn’t really have anything to compensate him for his time because, the moment itself, the small inklings of trust building between you were actually far better. 

That’s when you started to see him nearly every day, sitting against bomb-scarred concrete, always facing those marigolds, the ones the monarch butterflies you’d told him about always flocked to. 

At first you kept your distance, knowing better than to pry. 

It was clear he’d been through a lot, most his age-if you were guessing correctly-had, old enough to have lived a good portion of their lives before the outbreak, the last witnesses of an old world. You wanted to respect that and as long as he was finding some sort of peace here, you were content. 

You didn’t mind his company either, he wasn’t much of a talker, but his presence was comforting and familiar and you felt safe with him near. 

Eventually though, keeping him at a distance became impossible, both of you stumbling through the uncertainty of what to say to each other yet not giving up on trying at the same time. 

And Joel had resisted too, had tried to keep his words short, always residing somewhere in between neutral and aloof but the more he watched you in your element, amongst the seedling sprouts and vines and moss, the more it made him want to talk.

It was easy to find his voice around you. 

You were soft-hearted, he could see that and it wasn’t easy to get used to the way you looked at him, like you cared, like you understood something about his brokenness right away, had let him sit here day after day watching the butterflies because somehow you knew it’s what he needed, but he didn’t mind the learning curve either. 

His usual annoyance and reluctance to speak about feelings couldn’t keep up this time surrounded by reminders of Sarah, coaxing the small part of him that hadn’t died with her out of its state of numbness, softening him again. 

‘You were never gonna do it for yourself’ rings in his ears. 

He’d never been much good at that, doing things for himself, and Sarah was always so clever about calling it out, even now, nudging him awake again after all these years. 

It’s why he decides to tell you when you ask one day, sitting next to him on sun-warmed stone. 

He merely came by to sit for a little while and clear his head and found you already sat in his usual spot, butterfly watching, your eyes telling your secret, that you had been crying before he arrived, his first instinct carrying him forward, to your side. 

He offered you some water, even sliced an apple in half to share with you, pleased with himself when he got a smile out of the gesture but remained as quiet as you were, wanting you to feel like you could just be. 

“Who do they remind you of?” your voice was small, unsure of how he’d react to the question, overexplaining in hopes it would make him recoil less, “It’s okay if you can’t talk about it, I understand. It’s just that…what I told you about the monarch butterflies, I really do believe in it you know, the people I’ve lost…they feel so close to the surface, like they’re watching over me and I think you feel the same.” 

Joel nods after a moment and you’re exhaling a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

It takes him a moment but he finds the words. 

“My daughter…her name was Sarah. They were her favorite, actually, since she was bout old enough to talk. I used to call her my little butterfly when she was a baby which, yeah, got real old when she started middle school but I liked to remind her anyways, just to see her roll her eyes at me. Just as long as she knew I loved her, you know, that I never stopped, not since the moment I held her in my hands for the first time.”

It broke your heart to hear. 

And it hurt him too, to speak about her and then remember that he had lost her, that twenty years had passed and he couldn’t remember what she smelled like anymore, and he hated the nightmares but without them, he was afraid of forgetting her face, her eyes, the coils of her hair, the sound of her voice calling out to him. 

It was only now that he was seeing how deep he’d pushed it all down, bottled up tight out of fear, and then somehow you’d entered his life, Molotov aimed straight at his heart, stunning him into remembering her the way she deserved to be. 

“I’m so sorry,” you extend all the comfort you can, knowing there weren’t any words that would ever make it right but you wanted to try anyway. 

“Yeah, me too. But you’re right, she feels close, and I know you’ve put it together by now but it’s why I’ve been sittin here every day, I see those butterflies and I see her, I remember her and it feels...good. I didn’t want it to; don’t really trust things that feel good but it does and I wanna thank you for that, for letting me have that.” 

He worries he’s said too much, or said the wrong thing, wanting to kick himself because he was never much good at words either but the sight of your lips pulling up into a small smile came as a relief. 

“She’s with you, Joel. And there’s no need to thank me, it’s been good for me too, doing all this. I think it helps.” 

He nods again, agreeing before asking you the same question, extending an opportunity to open up too; a big step when keeping personal histories to a minimum was the lay of the land around here. 

And it wasn’t easy, to talk about the things that hurt, baring your grief to Joel, and trusting him with it but you did and he had held it so gently, understanding it for what it was. 

Looking back you think maybe it’s there that things started to change, where your life and his started to merge. 

Sometime after that conversation you gifted him one of those glass winged butterflies like the one in your window, showing it to him one evening in the garden, earning you the first real smile you’d ever seen from him. 

It was after he told you more about himself, about Sarah, his brother Tommy, recounting happy memories; like the time he and Tommy surprised Sarah with her own soccer ball for her birthday one year, how he’d caved almost immediately the time she begged him to get her a polaroid camera, and you shared too, thinking on good times you’d had with the people in your life. 

It meant a lot to Joel that you spent time crafting the ornament, knowing just how deep the symbolism of it went for him. 

You were always doing that, looking out for him, planting tiny seed after tiny seed, slowly working your magic on him, ensnaring him deep, making him want to look out for you too. 

Under the fading sun again you sat with him, watching the marigolds, the calm, slow fluttering of wings, and it’s in that same spot that you find your hand in his for the first time. 

No words needed to be said, this was far better. 

A little while later you saw your gift hanging from the window in his living room, right next to the radio you had first traded him for.

The two of you had found yourselves escaping the heat here after some time tending the garden together, pulling weeds, clearing new soil of rocks and rubble, now sharing his couch, a rusty old fan that still somehow worked cooling the sweat prickling the back of your neck.

Curfew hour was nearing and you knew you would have to start making your way back home but Joel warned that he’d heard from a FEDRA officer he did trades with that they were patrolling the streets early the next few nights.

You knew why, it was hard to forget the hail of gunfire last night, a group of Fireflies going after a group of officers on patrol, a fight that neither one had won. 

Tensions in the QZ had been high all day since then and Joel suggested that you stay here with him for the night, saying he didn’t want you dealing with anything that might be going on out there.

He was being protective, a disapproving frown on that handsome face of his when you told him you didn’t want to intrude on his space but he was right, things had already started looking a little dangerous on your way back from the garden and you appreciated that he was trying to keep you safe. 

So you stayed. 

Curled up on Joel’s old, worn couch with a blanket that smelled like him tucked around you, the white noise of the fan still blowing and the knowledge that he wasn’t far, just in the next room over, carried you off to sleep.

–

One night had turned into two and then three and somewhere in the last couple months of summer that were left, you spent most of your days and nights with Joel. 

No label had been applied to whatever your situation was with him, you knew better than to ask, this all needed time, and you were okay with that, just content on holding onto this good thing with him. 

Because you liked being around, like sharing a space with him and sitting in the garden together, opening up to each other more and more every day. 

It was nice watching Joel come out of that hardened shell of his, watching him find it easier to talk about things, noticing him trying to live life more, not as reluctant to connect. 

Things were good, not to say that there hadn’t been bad days amongst all the progress made, there were plenty of them in fact. 

Days where old patterns became default again, stretches of nights where the nightmares returned, both of you trying to wade through it. 

When the aching of old wounds came knocking and the walls came back up again. 

You hated to fight with Joel when that happened, and you hated not being on the same page but he was so stubborn it wasn’t always easy to bite back your frustration. 

He had told you about his past, about the people he hurt in those early days and it’s something he wrestled with, believing in the goodness you saw inside him when all he could see were the bad things.

It frustrated you sometimes, how he preferred to shut himself off, to you, to Sarah’s memory because he felt like his hands were too dirty, too blood-stained to even try. 

“Que, no entendes?! Please, Joel! Stop trying to be something you aren’t. You think you aren’t a good man but bad people don’t get upset about being bad. Do you think you can just turn it off, the part of you that was always a good man, a good father? Well sorry, but you can’t, that’s who you are to your core, I saw it the first moment I met you and every time since then.” 

 “I’ve killed people,” his tone was mean, and venomous, another attempt at pushing you away. “Goddamnit, it’s not as simple as-”

“I get that! Look I know that you’ve done bad things but you’ve also spent every waking moment punishing yourself for it, do you realize that? All these years you’ve been paying your penance any way you can and I’m trying to tell you it’s okay live well, that you don’t have to torture yourself anymore because we have to try and make something out of all this pain.” 

It wasn’t easy to get him to see what you saw but you didn’t back down, even when it would have been easy to, Joel knew it too, guilt washing over him as you looked at him then, tears brimming in your eyes. 

“You’ve endured enough.” 

It’s those final three words from you that makes him ease up, a reminder you nudged him with often, that he could rest already, could make amends by making a choice to find the light. 

He lets you take some space from him, coming to find you before bed because he doesn’t want to fall asleep without fixing things. 

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair, talkin to you like that. You’re just tryna help my sorry ass and I haven’t thanked you enough. I’m gonna get better at that.” 

It’s the first time you ever hug him, noticing the tremble in his hands as he says the words, feeling the sincerity in his voice, unable to stop yourself from all but barreling into his arms. 

He’s still for only a moment before his arms wrap around you in return, the two of you bathed in moonlight, that butterfly still hanging in his window, pushing you towards each other again just like it had when you first met. 

–

Eventually, the day comes when the monarchs leave, the approaching fall and winter seasons carrying them to warmer places, a solemn change in what had been yours and Joel’s routine. 

The absence of the butterflies that had provided so much hope the last few months was felt, but the world was also a lot more open and wide now too. 

You no longer slept on Joel’s couch, you slept pressed against him now, and woke with your limbs tangled with his, a quiet partnership forming.

It scares both of you, knowing that you had grown to care for each other so quickly, knowing that was dangerous and reckless but also feeling stronger because you were a team. 

You think that’s why you make the decision together, one rainy fall evening when Joel comes home with a message from Tommy. 

They had gone through a rough patch recently, being apart from each other for some time and still not seeing eye to eye on Tommy’s choices but slowly, they’d started talking again and there was news that Tommy and the group he was with had gotten a hydroelectric plant that had once belonged to FEDRA up and running. 

There was electricity and a place to stay if you and Joel were interested, plus Tommy wanted you to meet Maria, said she did him a whole world of good and this was some of that good in action. 

It hadn’t been a hard choice to make even knowing how difficult the journey would be.

This was the chance you’d both been waiting for, and had talked about, a far off dream of running away from all the violence that was inescapable here in Boston, searching for something better out there, and now it was within reach. 

So you’d left your garden in the care of a friend you knew would understand its importance, and you bide your time with Joel, making deals, doing jobs, collecting and saving up supplies, and helping him map the way to Jackson. 

And then the day came when you left the QZ behind for good, watching the city fade away in the rearview mirror.

Making it to Tommy hadn’t been easy, there had been one too many close calls for comfort but the trust you and Joel had in each other didn’t waver, and here you were, finally on the other side. 

Settling in hadn’t been the easiest, especially for Joel, his guard still up but little by little, you both sank into a new way of life. 

You quickly learned how to ride a horse and hunt in the woods surrounding the power plant, even making friends with some of the families in the community. 

Joel had taken to things a little slower, but even he couldn’t hide for long, helping some of the men in the group with repairs on things that needed fixing, even cautiously attempting to make friends with you. 

Small pockets of peace started to open up the longer you stayed and the threat of raiders loomed over that peace at times, keeping everyone on alert for attacks but you all had Joel and Tommy now, always amongst the first to be out there protecting, defending fiercely.

You knew they wouldn’t let anything happen to you here.  

As spring arrived again you found a nice spot for a garden, pointing out sprouting flower buds to Joel one day, almost missing the fond smile forming on his lips, both of you knowing what this meant. 

You were happy here, and happy being with Joel, the two of you building a new garden together this time, until finally, as the chill spring breeze transitioned into summer heat and sunshine you were sat next to him like you had been what seemed like ages ago, watching the butterflies circle the flowers in bloom in what had become Sarah’s Garden. 

Joel made you a promise; to keep going for family, the family you, him, and Tommy were now. And you promised the same, not scared of how much you cared for the man by your side anymore.

It wasn’t perfect, the world was still rotten and the broken parts of you all were still raw, still healing, but this time her light was guiding the way through it and that made it all worth it.

---

A/N: When I saw that butterfly hanging in the window of his place in Boston I just couldn’t resist writing something about how he got it and here we are! This world is so dark and tragic and while this fic doesn’t change those facts, I hope it plants some gentle, hopeful little seeds of healing, because Joel deserves that and so do you as the reader! thank you for reading this, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it! 💌

some tags no pressure! @inklore @allaboardthereadingrailroad @yelenas-lova @ozarkthedog @amethystwonders11 @blkmorticia @moreofem @eupheme @obiknights @tarrenterror25 @superhoeva @buckyhoney @plumbits