#Kurtis Lowe

[mercerislandbooks]

50 Years of Island Books: Our Sales Reps

In this installment, we’re seeing Island Books through the eyes of our sales reps. Dan Christiaens, Christine Foye, David Glenn and Kurtis Lowe all have decades-long relationships with Island Books, with lots of stories to share.

Miriam: Welcome Dan, Christine, David, and Kurtis! I'm excited to talk to all of you. As key sales reps for the big publishing houses, you've all had long-standing relationships with Island Books, and we wouldn't be the place we are today without your contributions. Tell me some stories! It can be about your first impression of the store, how you came to work with us, a particular title that did well at Island Books, or any other fond memories.

Dan Christiaens (Norton): I’ll start off. It was around 20 years ago that I started covering accounts in the PNW. I was still living in SoCal. Island Books was on my account list so on my first trip I stopped by and met Roger. He was pretty terse, made it clear that he didn’t see reps, but would review my stuff and send me an order for anything that he wanted. The store was lovely, well curated, with the typewriters all over and a small music section featuring CD’s, which caught my attention. I would stop by the store when I was in town, say hello, and always buy a CD or two.

When I moved up here in 2004, I started visiting the store more regularly, chatting with Cindy or Nancy, or even Roger—and would buy a CD or order some music that I wanted that they didn’t carry, and began to suggest music they should be aware of. Then our books became the topic of conversation, and I started recommending various books of ours. Roger slowly came to respect my knowledge of our books—and we became friendly, and then MAGIC HAPPENED! And he started ordering from me!

Christine Foye (Simon & Schuster): Here's one of my favorite photos of all time, a picture of Laurie, Taylor Jenkins Reid, and me on tour for the hardcover of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Which leads me to.... 

A book that did especially well at the store and why—The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo! Laurie and Victor came to the prepub dinner that I had for TJR in Seattle. Laurie immediately embraced the book and shared it and hyped it and talked nonstop about it until finally pub day came and by gum, Island Books was outselling all of my other accounts within a month. This was the perfect storm of great book, passionate reader and responsive customer base. It's wonderful to find a book one can really get behind, and Laurie and the whole staff did that with this marvelous novel. Also, don't we look lovely in green? 

Remembering my first days selling to Island Books—I started selling to Roger in 1993. I knew nothing about anything, I was fresh out of the St. Martin's Press office in New York, selling trade paperbacks and mass markets and children's books and perfectly confident in my ignorance. Roger made short work of my inexperience but was kind about it, and commented on how I tidied up the store shelves and faced out titles. Had I worked in a bookstore, he asked. I sure had, and after that things were always affectionate between us in the Roger way. Which is to say, he let me sit and chatter for probably 10 minutes longer than he would have otherwise. And often I got a laugh out of him, which was wondrous. We did bond over having both been to Newfoundland — did you know he co-edited a book about it titled Outport: Reflections from the Newfoundland Coast? He did. (It's out of print.) I always loved Island Books, it was a pleasure to visit and see what kind of books Roger had decided to buy for the community. What a lucky community. 

David Glenn (Penguin Random House): Durn, my first visit to the store was so long ago I’m not sure I can even dredge it up from my addled brain. If I had to guess, I’d say it was probably way back in the mid-90s? Of course that was back in the “Roger Days,” and I think it’s fair to say that, within our tightly-knit rep community, Roger was known as kind of a tough buyer. He relied a lot on jobbers and didn’t particularly like being “sold,” especially if it was by someone he felt perhaps didn’t necessarily measure up, or wasn’t sufficiently prepared to defend a title if questioned about it. Roger did not, as they say, suffer fools gladly and, quite honestly, I was pretty intimidated by him at first. He gave me a bit of a rough few seasons there at the beginning—always good-naturedly, for sure, but also making sure I understood who the buyer/owner was. Early on, though, I decided that I was going to do whatever it took to win Roger over. I was gonna get a belly laugh outta that guy one way or the other. So every season I made sure to bring my A-game, and began my campaign to be “welcomed” by Roger. It took me a lot longer than I thought it would—at least a couple years—but eventually, the respect I had for Roger as an owner and businessperson, was replaced by just the simple goodness of the man. I loved his dry sense of humor, and if you could coax it out of him, he had a truly impish grin. So Island Books at that point became one of my favorite stores to visit.

When Roger decided he’d had enough and it was time to sell, I was pretty bummed. And in what was an odd quirk of fate, the fellow that helped Laurie come to a decision about buying the store was an old fraternity brother of mine who lives on the island. Happily, Laurie and Victor have been the ideal stewards to move Island Books along, post-Roger. The store has always had a wonderful vibe, a superb staff, a great location, and a tremendously supportive community.

As far as books go, I have to mention a title I feel is perhaps the finest novel any of my imprints have published during my 34-odd years with Penguin Random House: The Heart’s Invisible Furies, by John Boyne. Full disclosure: Island Books has sold a solid, if unspectacular 40-plus copies of it since it came out in August of 2017. So, not a real barn-burner. But more than the “zero” it would have sold had Laurie not been willing to take a chance, and an example of the fruits of the give-and-take between a rep and a buyer. It may not have set the world afire, but my fervent hope is that it will remain a staple at the store for years to come.

In January of 2018, I hosted a dinner for three PRH authors: veteran Amy Bloom, and newcomers Tara Westover and Karen Cleveland. Both Laurie and Victor attended that dinner and, at one point, Victor noticed that while nearly everyone was chatting away left and right, Karen Cleveland was looking a little lost and forlorn (whoever the rep host was that night should have been paying more attention). So he marched right over and began chatting her up. Well, cutting to the chase, Victor read her debut thriller Need To Know (based on the author’s own experiences as a former CIA counterterrorism analyst) and made it his own personal crusade to make it an IB bestseller. In short order, IB sold over 70 hardcovers, and another 100+ more in paperback, which is just an outstanding result for a debut novel. Tara Westover’s singular memoir, Educated, also struck a chord with Laurie and Victor that night. And while it’s true the book was a massive bestseller for nearly every bookstore in America (spending over two years on the NYT hardcover bestseller list in hardcover no less), IB more than held their own and, in fact, really punched above their weight, selling nearly 600 copies in hardcover alone. This is the power of the independent bookstore in general, and the superpower of a store like Island Books. Every community in America should be so lucky to have such a store, and I can’t help but believe that if this were actually the case, the country would be a far less frightening and chaotic place.

Kurtis Lowe (Imprint Group): When I started as a commission rep back in 1997, I did not work with publishers that ranked for a meeting with Roger Page. However, in early 2001, I joined Book Travelers West, so Roger was ready to meet with me to scrutinize the lists of Workman, Ten Speed Press, Running Press, Watson-Guptill, and more. As I pitched book after book (only the best), Roger would pause before a title, pen hovering over the printed catalog page… sometimes he would he would score a one, for one copy... saved! It would have a chance. Two copies. Looking good! Three copies… just about as high as he would go with me. That is because local wholesalers had no better indie partner than Island Books when it came to restocking a title if it worked, and the high shelves were too full displaying vintage typewriters to make room for overstock.  Roger’s team could be on the phone minutes before the deadline and receive a shipment by the end of the day. An initial order of one, two or three copies of could become 20, 50, or 100s sold over time.

When a title did not make the grade, Roger was not cruel, as he slashed a diagonal across the page, but at least he was definitive: “Not quite,” he would state, and often add a helpful comment of feedback for the publisher.  Perhaps the greatest feeling of triumph as a rep was to throw a Hail Mary, one more point to get that book on the shelf, and Roger would page back, look again, squiggle out the slash and enter a number and circle it for order entry.

The times that Roger really went for a book were beautiful, and he was ready to do something a little special. Back in 2014, Island Books picked The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry for their April store pick. I committed to touring Gabrielle Zevin to 27 Pacific Northwest bookstores in three days to celebrate this gift to the bookselling (and rep) community. Roger loved the idea; he set up a display in front and gave a little speech to the the late morning gathering. 

(Photo Credit: Kurtis Lowe / Roger Page introducing Gabrielle Zevin /The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry (Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill) / April 2014 Book of the Month Pick for Island Books / April 7th, 2014)

I’ve observed many bookstore succession stories. Laurie Raisys taking over, respecting traditions, and creating new ones, while bringing her own experience and energy to the store has clearly been a great success. Lillian Welch is my buyer now, and she eerily brings some of that challenging scrutiny that reminds me of Roger, but also a new and vibrant commitment to the best books for all readers in challenging times. Thank you to the many booksellers at Island Books who carry on your great tradition and congratulations to Island Books for 50 years as a shining literary light on Mercer Island!

Thank you to Dan, Christine, David and Kurtis, for giving us a glimpse into how those books get on the shelves at Island Books!

To our Island Books community: In the next 50 Years of Island Books installment, I’ll be talking to Cindy Corujo, who has been a bookseller for 36 years and has the longest tenure of any Island Books employee.

—Miriam

[omegaremix]

Omega Radio for December 25, 2013; #40.

Kurtis Blow “Christmas Rappin’”

Sufjan Stevens “Put The Lights On The Tree”

She & Him “The Christmas Waltz”

Raveonettes, The “Christmas In Cleveland”

Low “If You Were Born Today (Song For Baby Jesus)”

Parenthetical Girls “Thank God It’s Not Christmas”

Knife, The “Reindeer”

LCD Soundsystem “Oh You (Christmas Blues)”

Tom Waits “Christmas Card From A Hooker In Indianapolis”

Flaming Lips, The “Christmas At The Zoo”

Belle & Sebastian “Are You Coming Over For Christmas”

Redd Kross “Super Sunny Christmas”

They Might Be Giants “Santa’s Beard”

Billy Bragg & Wilco “Christ For President”

Beck “The Little Drum Machine Boy”

Kinks, The “Father Christmas”

Pogues, The “Fairytale Of New York”

Material Issue “Merry Christmas Will Do”

White Stripes, The “Candy Cane Children”

Roots, The “Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa”

Rancid “Xmas Eve (She Got Up And Left Me)”

Magnetic Fields, The “Everything Is One Big Christmas Tree”

Julian Casablancas “I Wish It Was Christmas Today”

Louis Armstrong “’Zat You, Santa Claus?”

Stephen Colbert “Another Christmas Song”

Henry Rollins “’Twas The Night Before Christmas”

Bonus holiday broadcast on Christmas Day.

[electoons]

hey what's your immediate deal breaker when watching video essays. like for me if the person sounds like they're trying to record while someone else is sleeping in the same room I will turn it off. if I feel like you are whispering directly in my ear I will immediately turn it off and find something else to watch

[artaelyn]

Not being able to make art makes me actually want to die

[goosetiel]

Im genuinley cruing because of this post i love this thing pls im sobbing /gen slash srs tears tears are streaming down my face

Low poly low resolution Crow 🌟

[shreeisspecial]

Kurtas are a staple in traditional and contemporary wardrobes alike, celebrated for their versatility and comfort. As seasons change, adapting your kurtas to fit the weather while maintaining style can be both fun and practical. This guide will help you transition your kurtas from one season to the next, ensuring you stay fashionable and comfortable year-round.

[anmolsmsblog]

Puma Women's Mayze Wedge Sneaker

Price: (as of – Details)

[thebestshoppingonline]

Women's Chinese style two-piece set, summer suit, heavy craftsmanship, embroidery 34 sleeve,

[its-poojagupta-shree]

Fashion is more than simply clothes—it's a declaration and an expression of personal style. In the world of ethnic wear, kurtis hold a special place for their versatility and timeless appeal. As we step into a new season, it's the perfect time to explore the latest trends and elevate your style with trendsetting ladies' kurti designs available online.

[shin-tsucommunist]

i'm really bored so uh. here have some of my headcanons for the main yttd characters

sara: wears expensive strawberry perfume. probably class president, and one of the, if not the, top student at sonobeno. really likes shortbread. dated ryoko briefly but they ended up just being friends again

shin: he's trying to make it as a twitch streamer. he doesn't have many followers but is actually really good. dropped out of university due to chronic illness making it hard for him to attend. never really bullied at school, but completely ignored (he's so me fr fr)

keiji: has definitely made those weird police officer thirst traps on tiktok (the ones kurtis connor made a video on). megumi had all of them saved to her phone. he now moderates a police rp discord server. bisexual with a lot of internalised homophobia

gin: he's scared of spiders, but will never admit it. he's also eaten bugs before because he saw a cat doing it. has a pet rock and collects little plastic animal figures and pokemon cards. was absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs when he was younger

reko: did ballet as a child. will never admit this and would probably kill anyone who brought it up. was in an idol group as a teenager and still has trauma from the idol industry. burnt out gifted kid

alice: took up knitting as a hobby in prison and always sent reko incredibly lumpy jumpers (it's the thought that counts, it's fine). she never opened the parcels. used gonbee as a name when he socially transitioned in high school, but ended up changing it back to alice. history buff. got top surgery from a friend in uni

nao: her favourite food is creme brulee. works part time at a convenience store to pay for college. went to high school with shin but doesn't remember him. most of her money goes into hair upkeep and scrunchies. has a mishima shrine in her dorm room (her friends want her to go to therapy). has an anxiety disorder

mishima: he has several pet rats, most of which are named after famous artists. still kind of an alcoholic but mostly drinks unhealthy amounts of tea instead. intentionally makes himself look weird (specifically in terms of his hair) because he's slightly more unsettling when he doesn't. in a similar vein, he smells of oil paint because it covers up the smell of cigarette smoke. was homeless as a teenager and has never had a good relationship with his family. owns a copy of the communist manifesto

kai: he doesn't cook tiramisu because it reminds him too much of sei. mr chidouin gave him a 'kiss the cook' apron once, and kai hates it but wears it sometimes anyway to make him happy. has always enjoyed being sara's bodyguard because it gave him a chance to experience a normal childhood. has never given gashu a father's day gift. sometimes has hallucinations of sei

q-taro: was never adopted due to not being japanese, which made him really insecure. always got rejected from the baseball team in middle school, but had a full-on anime training arc before high school and got on the team. still watches the koshien championships every year. got into a pretty good uni on a sports scholarship. goes on holiday to the usa every year. has an incredibly low alcohol tolerance

kanna: has actually kept pudding under her bucket before to hide it from kugie and their parents. her favourite ice cream flavour is vanilla. kind of a theatre kid and especially enjoys six and heathers. almost as good at video games as shin, except minecraft which she is much better at. usually plays minecraft on peaceful mode but is unbeatable at pvp. makes incredibly messed up sims 4 storylines. likes vocaloid music

joe: listens to idol groups sometimes (sara bullies him over it). massive one piece fan and has played danganronpa. has a part time job at an arcade and always helps sara and ryoko cheat at the games. loves ramen. actually a pretty decent cook

[rocknrolldisaster]

kurty Cobain with a best friend reader who's helping him deal with his depression?

sure here’s my best try to not sound cringe lmao

~~~~~~~~~~

Post-Gig Blues

trigger warnings: mention of drugs,angst, fluff, that’s about it really lol

September 1989

You worked a 11-6 shift at a record store in the center of Seattle every Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. It was boring. The only things happening in that shop were teenagers stealing items, being loud, trying to flirt with you or couples making out in the corner, where the posters were. Your roommate, Kurt was in a hardcore punk rock band called Nirvana. And they just released their first record three months ago, and at the moment, they’re the “Most popular rising band in Seattle”

Hell, even the store’s tapes, CDs and vinyls of Bleach are on a low stock.

You’ve supported Kurt with his band ever since you moved in, five months ago. You’re best buddies, and you always feel safe when he walks with you in the dark.

23:16pm. Friday.

You sit at your desk, drawing a flower pot which stands at your desk while watching television. You’re the only one home, since Nirvana are playing a gig late tonight.

*knock knock* *sigh* “it’s me..” -you hear his tired and groggy voice outside the front door. He sounds fed up.

Your head snaps to the door, before you get up and approach the door, unlocking it and opening it.

“Hey Kurt, how was the show?” - you ask, with a polite smile, standing aside so he can walk in. His long, greasy blonde hair is drenched by the rain.

“oh- yeah, yeah we killed it.” - he says, his voice slurred, not sounding like it. He closes the door and locks it, shoving his hands into his coat pockets to hide how shaky and pale they are.

“doesn’t sound like it..” - you respond, looking at him with a raised eyebrow before you walk back to your desk.

“yeah, yeah I’m just tired.” - he grumbles, his hand reaching out to gently scratch the bridge of his nose then going back in his pocket.

“huh, me too dude.” - you say with a small chuckle, attempting to light up the conversation.

“…yeah.” - he murmurs. just staring at the floor for a moment. eventually he sighs and takes his shoes off, setting them aside, then coat off, hanging it up.

You continue drawing, but often glancing at him at the corner of your eye. He’s like this a lot. friendly, bubbly, creative and energetic for a few days, then some days it just crashes in when he’s lazy, stubborn, exhausted and fed up. And you know he shoots up on heroin every few weeks, thinking it’ll help with his intense stomach pains, and his moodiness.

He rubs his temples with a deep sigh, then swings his guitar case in the corner with no cares, and plopping onto the bed.

“god.” - he grumbles.

“What?” - you turn your head to him

“I don’t know.” - he rubs his eyes.

Your expression softens, you hum softly.

“Something happened at the show?”

“no it was great, genuinely.” -he replies.

“crowd loved it.” - he adds after a moment, looking over at you, his expression blank.

“then what?”

he rolls his eyes.

you tilt your head.

“tell me? you can always talk to me, kurt. I won’t judge.” -you softly tell him.

he scoffs.

“yeah right.” - he replies sarcastically, resting his chin on his hand and looking at the wall in front of his bed.

��i mean it, kurt. i never judged, never will.”

he stays unresponsive for a moment or two, before turning to look at you. You look at him back.

“you ever just…go out, and have the time of your life, but after…” -he starts, but his voice trails off. He looks back at the wall.

“Mhm?” - you wait for him to continue.

“you just hate the party life…it’s not for you..?” - he looks back at you.

“yeah, sometimes..” - you nod, looking back at the television then looking back at him.

“huh, thank god I don’t live in L.A.” - he chuckles bitterly, before sighing again.

“so what’s the main problem?” -you tilt your head.

his expression falters.

“it feels weird..im not the biggest fan of being famous ‘round here.”

“i get that.” -you nod.

“…im getting approached on the streets cause everyone knows me..I d…don’t like i…it..” -he stutters on his last words, his voice starting to sound more shaky.

You immediately pay close attention to his face, noticing his eyes are watery, you quickly get up and walk to him, sitting next to him on the edge of his bed.

“fuck, I’m sorry for this.” - he grumbles, his palm on his head.

“No it’s okay..you can cry..” - you reassure him.

“if it’s a good thing then your record is selling out at work..” - you raise your eyebrows, but he doesn’t answer.

You take his hands off his head and gently take them in yours, warming them up. He’s not fine, and he doesn’t want to admit it to you, since you’re the friend who he prefers emotionally supporting.

“you’re drenched.” - you softly say, looking at his wet hair and his clothes covered in raindrops.

“yeah, i knoww.”

You look into his eyes.

“You should take care of yourself.”

He looks back into yours.

“Don’t have the time to anymore.”

You roll your eyes at his response.

“Kurt, you need a break, you deserve it.”

“how..? i can’t, I got all this band shit. how could i take a break with everyone eagerly wanting to see me everyday?” - he gets more worked up, a tear rolling down his face.

“don’t listen to the people, just do whatever you want. i get paid on sunday, so I’ll take you to a spa on monday, maybe also have some lunch out” - you gently wipe his tears.

“pff, guess so.” - he rolls his eyes and sniffles, starting to quietly cry.

“shit, no it’s okay..” - you frown and pull him into a gentle hug.

“shut up.” - he grumbles.

“no let it all out..”

he eventually feels comfortable enough to let it out in front of you, he sighs and slowly rests his head on your shoulder, quietly crying into it.

“i’m here..it’s gonna get better.”

~~~~~~~~

[galaxywrites]

ㅤㅤ ㅤ incorrect quotes from my freed revenants au!

ㅤㅤ ㅤsome may be nsfw! just a warning!! color-coded.

──────────────────────────────

Kabal: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Kabal: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.

Jade: Socks are Feetie Heaties.

Liu Kang: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.

Stryker: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.

Kitana: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.

Tomàš: I hate you guys so much.

-

Jade: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?

Tomàš: What?

Jade: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that

-

Tomàš: Be careful, I thrive on negative attention.

-

Tomàš: Well, has Jade been wrong before?

Kitana: How wide are we willing to open this up?

-

Stryker: Liu Kang, can I ask you a question?

Liu Kang: You just did.

Stryker: Okay, can I ask you two questions?

Liu Kang: You just did.

Stryker, frustrated: OKAY, CAN I ASK YOU FOUR QUESTIONS?!

Liu Kang: You just did.

Stryker: When?!

Liu Kang: Just now.

-

Kabal: I have a bad feeling about this...

Tomàš: What do you mean?

Kabal: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Tomàš: No?

Liu Kang: That actually explains so much.

-

Kabal: I couldn't do this without you, Tomàš.

Tomàš: Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.

-

Tomàš: The path to inner peace begins with four words… not my fucking problem.

-

Kabal: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

-

Liu Kang: Might I make a suggestion you possibly won’t like?

Tomàš: Do you make any other kind?

-

Kitana: What are you two arguing about this time?

Stryker: He's always using common phrases incorrectly!

Tomàš: Cry me a table, Kurtis.

-

Tomàš: We wouldn’t last two minutes without Nightwolf.

Tomàš:

Tomàš: Don't tell him I said that.

-

Tomàš: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

-

Tomàš: Fight me!

Kitana, standing behind him and holding her fans: *mouths* Do not.

-

Kabal: Yesterday, I overheard Nightwolf saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Tomàš replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

-

Stryker: *falls down the stairs*

Kitana: Are you okay?

Liu Kang: Stop falling down the stairs!

Tomàš: How’d the ground taste?

-

Kabal: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??

Stryker: So fuck oxygen, I guess.

-

Tomàš: Are you a masochist or a sadist?

Kung Lao, deadpan: I’m a Taurus.

-

Kabal: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Tomàš: An apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

-

*During a game of Hangman*

Tomàš: Nope, there’s no Q. You lose.

Stryker: Are you kidding me?! You can still add something!

Tomàš: I already added a belt, four earrings and an extra arm! YOU LOSE!

-

Jade: Can you pass the salt?

Tomàš: Can you pass away?

Jade: Too much salt.

-

Kung Lao: Am I in trouble?

Liu Kang: Take a guess.

Kung Lao: No?

Liu Kang: Take another guess.

-

Kabal, trying to comfort Tomàš: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

-

Stryker: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?!

Tomàš: Probably because I’m a trained assassin with a long history of violence.

Stryker: Oh...

Jade, from across the room: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

-

Tomàš: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry?

Kabal: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition.

-

Nightwolf: You three, explain right now.

Tomàš: It was Kabal.

Jade: It was Kabal.

Liu Kang: It was Kabal.

Kabal:

Kabal: …fuck.

-

Tomàš: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Enenra: Apparently, we're not!

-

Kung Lao: Truth or dare?

Tomàš: Truth.

Kung Lao: How many hours have you slept this week?

Tomàš:

Tomàš: Dare.

Kung Lao: Go to sleep.

Tomàš: I don't like this game.

-

Nightwolf: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.

Tomàš: I will politely decline.

-

Liu Kang: Did you buy eggs like I asked?

Tomàš: Even better!

Liu Kang: What the fuck did you-

Tomàš: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

-

Liu Kang: Hey, are you free?

Kung Lao: No, I’m expensive.

-

Stryker: Want to hear a hard riddle?

Kung Lao: Sure.

Stryker: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?

Kung Lao: ...down?

Stryker: N-

Tomàš: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.

Stryker:

Stryker: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... Jesus Christ...

-

Stryker: Do you take constructive criticism?

Kabal: No, only cash or credit.

-

Jade: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Tomàš: Which one? I can't do both.

-

Nightwolf: One time I went to hand Jade a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.”

-

Tomàš: You're right.

Jade: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

-

Stryker: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Jade: Can't relate.

Tomàš: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

-

Tomàš: Liu Kang! Kabal got that thing on the control panel working!

Liu Kang: Wow! That looks pretty impressive.

Tomàš: Yeah!

Liu Kang: Any idea what it does?

Tomàš: Not a clue.

-

Tomàš: Where is my fucking mask?

Kabal: Tomàš, guests are around, can you say it a little nicer?

Tomàš: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING MASK?!

-

Liu Kang: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

Kitana: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

-

Tomàš: I wouldn’t wish that upon my worse enemy!

Tomàš: Unless of course. . We’re talking about our enemy, Quan Chi. Fuck you Quan Chi, you know what you did!

-

Tomàš: Tired of just deserving better. Gonna start taking it by force.

-

Stryker: Wow, Kano really hates us.

Kabal: Yes, perhaps he's homophobic.

Stryker: But we’re not gay, Kabal.

Kabal:

Stryker:

Kabal: We’re not?

-

Tomàš: Is having a penis fun?

Kabal: It has its ups and downs.

Stryker: Sometimes it’s a little hard.

Kung Lao: It’s a pain in the ass.

Jade: Oh, Jesus, fuck, guys, come on.

-

Kitana: What does 'take out' mean?

Liu Kang: Food.

Stryker: Dating

Tomàš: Murder

Kabal: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

-

Nightwolf: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Stryker: Rude.

Kabal: That’s fair.

Tomàš: Not again.

Jade: Are you going to want this back?

-

Nightwolf: What do you think Kabal will do for a distraction?

Stryker: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Stryker: ... or he could do that.

-

Kitana, carefully running a brush through Tomàš' hair: Did no one teach you how to manage your hair properly?

Tomàš, shrugging: The Lin Kuei elders just said brush it with your fingers, it'll be fine.

Tomàš: When Cyrax joined, he used to do it. But I haven't seen him here in the Netherrealm, so I just assumed his soul didn't end up here.

Kitana: ... We need to teach you a proper hair routine.

Tomàš: Say what now?

-

Tomàš: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

Enenra: You stopped growing when you were fourteen!

-

Enenra: What’s sexting?

Tomàš: I'm not having this conversation with you.

-

Stryker: Are you okay?

Kabal, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Stryker: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Kabal?

-

Kitana: There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.

-

Kitana: I am going to need you to swear-

Kabal: Fuck.

Kitana:

Kitana: ...swear as in promise.

-

Stryker: The Ocean is a soup.

Tomàš:

Tomàš: Do elaborate.

Stryker: What are needed for something to be a soup?

Tomàš: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.

Stryker: *Tilts head*

Tomàš: The Ocean is a Soup.

Stryker: The Ocean is a Soup.

-

Nightwolf: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Stryker, Liu Kang, Kabal, and Kitana: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

-

*Everyone is playing a board game together*

Kabal: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.

Tomàš: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.

Kung Lao: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.

Kitana: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.

Kung Lao: *flips the board*

-

Kabal: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Stryker: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Kabal: I—

Kabal: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

-

Kitana: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Tomàš: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

[naturalbornluvr]

naturalbornluvr hot people list

kinda not really ranked

1. cal gabriel

1. cal robertson in the year 2001

1. my husband

1. my baby daddy

1. daddy

1. the love of my life

1. light of my life fire of my loins

1. the blonde kid from that school shooter movie

2. lana del rey

3. hayden anhedonia

4. andre kreigman

5. christian bale

6. matt dillon

7. lorenzo zurolo

8. jake gyllenhaal

9. liz gillies

10. robbie shapiro

11. robbie hawkins

12. beck from victorious

13. alexander hamilton (the real 1776 one not lin)

14. andre harris

15. eric harris

16. jodi arias

17. ricky kasso

18. peter steele

19. ghostface

20. timothee chalamet (bones and all specifically)

21. weasley twins

22. hermione granger

23. harry potter

24. tom riddle

25. rachel lurie

26. sera promgoer

27. regina george

28. ron weasley

29. robert pattinson

30. mason freeland

31. sodapop curtis

32. everyone from the breakfast club

33. alice cullen

34. rosalie cullen

35. daddylisle cullen

36. dilfy swan

37. the one guy in the hallway in mean girls when cady says i think he’s going to the projection room above the auditorium

38. carl azuz

39. mickey and mallory

40. maya from pll

41. jfk

42. jfk jr

43. jfk jr jr

44. damon albarn

45. ANAKIN SKYWALKER (he should NOT be this low but i don’t wanna change the numbers. takes too long. everyone that should be higher up is going in all caps now)

46. the guy from i believe his unicorns. spencer? i think

47. JESS MARIANO

48. born to die music video boyfriend

49. shades of cool music video boyfriend

50. health ledger

51. chad michael murray

52. a$ap rocky

53. holly would from cool world

54. brad pitt

55. zion from ginny and georgia (young & old)

56. georgia miller

57. tyler the creator

58. KURT COBAIN

59. adam brody

60. megan fox

61. 2000s christina aguilera

62. RODRICK HEFFLEY

63. jeffrey dean morgan

64. charles shaughnessy

65. grown up zack from school of rock (like when he stole the guitars and amp in like 2019)

66. the one guy from school of rock who’s like yo u guys rocked man how old are u guys after the battle of the bands show

67. ned from school of rock

68. jack black

69 mweheheh. both george coopers

70. meemaw

71. meemaws friend played by reba i think

72. alex arnold

73. sid jenkins

74. kurtis conner

75. danny gonzalez

76. drewisgooden

77. kim possible

78. bill scarscard or whatever his last name is

79. GWEN from tdi

80. julia from tdi

81. heather from tdi

82. like all of the girls from tdi. at least half

83. naked guy from gilmore girls

84. taylor momsen

85. the other mother

86. mrs spink

87. coraline’s dad & other dad but not the pumpkin one

88. artyom

89. the babysitter and bones from monster house

90. lightning mcqueen

91. mater

92. angelina jolie

93. evan peters

94. ryan gosling obviously

95. THE DAD FROM INSIDE OUT. more like riley’s dad turn ME inside out. awooooga

96. the 911 operator from zero day when she’s not yapping

97. karina and ronald now from sis vs bro

98. cameron boyce

99. joseph gordon levitt

100. the mom from inside out. same thing i said for her husband

i will be adding on most definitely but 100 is a nice number to stop at 😇🫶

NEVERMIND

101. DADDY oops i mean flynn ryder oops i mean eugene fitzherbert

102. keanu reaves

103. chris mclean

104. playboi carti

105. JOEY SMACK

106. eric from elephant

107. drew starkey

108. that one biker bf from the ride mv

109. my husband’s dad …………..

110. andre’s dad

111. KRISTOFF !!!

112. shang from mulan

113. naveen from princess and the frog

114. MILO JAMES THATCH

115. steve terreberry

116. verryyy cal gabriel coded theatre kid at my school

117. hallway crush 1

118. hallway crush 2

119. hallway crush 3

120. hallway crush 4

121. maxo_xoxo on twitter and his wife lolaloopzy

122. MILA KUNIS

123. melania trump

124. jane fonda

125. fran FOIIINEEEE

126. that one guy who ranks things and uses the high pitched voice filter on tiktok

[constantpan1c]

INTRO POST!!🦇🔪🥀

If you marry me, would you bury me?

HII x3!! I’m Panic!

🖤 @archiewantsheetmetal ❤️ = Husband

🦇🩸totally NOT a vampire 🩸🦇

The most 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 member of the @mydinnercult

I’m 16, Bisexual, I go by She/They, and I play the drums

‼️Basic DNI, like racism, homophobia, ableism, ect

DNI WAYCEST‼️

my current favorite songs are linked at the bottom

I love unholyverse…mnghgg…

MUSIC I LIKE: My Chemical Romance, Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, The Used, Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Chappell Roan, Panic! At The Disco (pre split), Twenty One Pilots, Queen, Green Day, Blink 182, Yellow Card, Nirvana, The Offspring, The All American Rejects, All Time Low, Weezer, Set It Off, Bowling For Soup, Evanescence, Boys Like Girls, Flyleaf, Avril Lavigne, Mayday Parade, and System Of A Down!

MEDIA I LIKE: SCREAM 1996!!, Jennifers Body, Carrie, Glee, Heathers 1988, Nightmare Before Christmas, Smiling Friends, Hamilton, Sinjin Drowning, Scott Pilgrim, South Park, Fnaf, Danny Gonzales, Kurtis Conner, and Drew Gooden!

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Kurtis Conner was riding a very small train through a low-poly landscape and he said, “But it was b-blorbo.” Then he cackled evilly as the train drove into the ocean.

[shreeisspecial]

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