#Kraft Singles

[cheese-tournament]

Round 1

Propaganda:

Kraft Singles

This makes me want to commit arson

Surely this 95% plastic

That branding super unsettling

The Laughing Cow

Who is she really laughing at, seems like a cunt to me

Fashion icon with those earrings

president > laughing cow

[mountainwideforeheadgallery]

POSTAL dude with a fat slab of cheese on his forehead.

[lebowskismoney]

[unitedstatesofamericancheese]

My country tis of cheese.🎵 I nibbled this outline of the contiguous United States out of a piece of American cheese (sorry you didn’t make the cut, Hawaii and Alaska.) According to @mental_floss, the processed American cheese we know and love today owes a great deal to @kraft_brand whose founder would shred cheddar, pasteurize it, mix in some sodium phosphate and then wrap it up in plastic to extend its shelf life. Bless you Mr. Kraft. Stay tuned for individual states coming soon, in order of their admittance to the Union. Delaware, get ready to say cheese.

[ch33se-head]

A Kraft Cheese Singles commercial from 1986, the year I graduated high school. I've been watching a lot of these but this one has interesting background music and a sort of soothing tone...

[woodelf68]

Hey, has anyone tried the Kraft cheese singles in either the caramelised onion or garlic and herb flavors? I just saw that those are a thing and they sound interesting.

[sspacegodd]

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

This book needs to be refrigerated. And it mustn't be allowed to play or mingle with the other books --- or it will easily contaminate them with mold, tainting them with a greasy discoloring.

A bit more successful than attempts at making a cheese log from socks and gravel, these books are cultural objects and lunch.

[gwydionmisha]

Thenwhile… Haunted Real Estate | Diarrhea Plane | Somalia’s Slow Sprinter | Kraft Singles Recall

[emmaklee]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by shiftythrifting (@shiftythrifting)

(via shiftythrifting on Instagram: “Anybody want a snack? . #food #soap #cookbook #puns #thrifted #books #weird”)

[masoncarr2244]

[wildest-wavez]

today i learned that you can throw a flat processed cheese square across an apartment

[mountainwideforeheadgallery]

A continuation of POSTAL dude being hit with cheese.

He's so miserable looking.

[randompenguinslide]

A friend sent me this silly meme unprepared for my ridiculousness:

And so of course I had to start singing:

"All the Singles Ladies"

All the singles ladies (x7)

Now put your hands up

Up in the club (sandwich), we just set up

I'm adding my own little thing

Decided french dip and now you wanna trip

Cause another brother noticed me

I'm up on cheese, he up on more

Don't pay this any attention

Just cried for joy, for melty cheese

Ya can't be mad at me

Cause if you want to then you should put some cheese on it

If you liked it then you shoulda put some cheese on it

Don't be mad once you see that he want it

If you liked it then you shoulda put some cheese on it

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, o-ohh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, o-ohh

If you liked it then you should put some cheese on it

If you liked it then you shoulda put some cheese on it

Don't be mad once you see that he want it

If you liked it then you shoulda put more cheese on it

I got cheese sauce on my lips, a some weight on my hips

Got me tighter in my Dereon jeans

Acting up, nacho dip in a cup

I can care less what you think

I need no permission, did I mention

Don't pay it any attention

Cause you had your turn and now you gonna learn

What it really feels like to miss cheese

Cause if you liked it then you should have put some cheese on it

If you liked it then you shoulda put some cheese on it

Don't be mad once you see that he want it

If you liked it then you shoulda put more cheese on it

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

If you liked it then you should have put some cheese on it

If you liked it then you shoulda put some cheese on it

Don't be mad once you see that he want it

If you liked it then you shoulda put MORE CHEESE on it

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Don't treat me to the diets of the world

I'm not that kind of girl

Your dairy is what I prefer, what I deserve

Here's a food that makes me then takes me

And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond

Pull me into your arms, say I'm the one you cheese

If you don't, you'll be alone

And like a ghost I'll be gone

All the singles ladies, all the singles ladies

All the singles ladies, all the singles ladies

All the singles ladies, all the singles ladies

All the singles ladies

Now put your hands up, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Cause if you liked it then you should have put some cheese on it

If you liked it then you shoulda put some cheese on it

Don't be mad once you see that he want it

If you liked it then you shoulda PUT MORE CHEESE on it

Oh, oh, oh

If you liked it then you should have put some cheese on it

If you liked it then you shoulda put some cheese on it

Don't be mad once you see that he want it

If you liked it then you shoulda PUT MOAR CHEESE ON IT!!!

Oh, oh, oh

[orwellsunderpants]

Anything that says “pasteurized prepared cheese product” on the packaging is not cheese.

thoughts on kraft singles?

No.

[unitedstatesofamericancheese]

Delaware is known for being the first state to ratify the constitution. It’s been over 230 years and Delaware still won’t let anyone forget about that. License plates, welcome signs, the state quarter, probably one of Joe Biden’s pecks (or both!)—you can find “First State” written everywhere. 

Delaware was quick to ratify the Constituiton, doing so in under three months. Remember, those were the old days before cars and Zoom calls. Everything took time, especially rounding up leaders from across the state to read over the Constitution and make sure they were on board. For most, it was the first time they were seeing the document. Getting a unanimous vote in such a short time was impressive, though Delaware’s next door neighbor was definitely not impressed. Pennsylvania was gunning to be the first state to ratify the Constitution in the hopes that doing so would allow it to be home to the permanent US capital. No dice. 

Nibbling time for Delaware, admitted in December 1787, was about twenty minutes. This was my second attempt at the first state.

[ch33se-head]

NEW DESIGN. I've downsized. This is my new goal, 80 less tiles and streamlined a little. It'll only be about 14 feet if completed. basically five days left, six til I fly out. I have 12 rows finished.

Things to plan/consider:

> how is the pole attached to my shoulders? right now they are hanging from a copper pole that's 5' long. I want to attach it to the back of my neck/shoulders, like giant shoulder pads, or angular wings or something. perhaps football shoulder pads would stabilize? must be easily removed for hanging. important to test and figure out.

> costume. I want to make a skull cap out of cheese. I want to make a ruff out of feathers. I want to make a cheese skirt. I need a simple base costume, beneath the skirt and cape. I need some shoes. I need to modify the mask, embellish it. > regalia. my action will dictate the objects I bring on with me. I might have a small trunk or box. or a staff/sceptor...it depends. whatever they are I want them to have a function, not just decoration. I will need to make them and that will take time. > cape edges. I haven't put any of the outside tiles on the cape yet because I can't decide what they should be like. It would be great to have a nice edge or border. I was thinking perhaps a tassel in the center of each tile, dangling and/or dragging. I'm interested in bringing in some bright blue accents, referencing the Kraft food colors.

There's so much to do in the next few days!