#Kind of crazy how I only posted this like yesterday and it almost has 100 hits

[radiance1]

Something New

Sun Wukong blinked open his eyes to gentle wind and warm sunlight.

‘Ah,’ He thought. Slowly pushing himself up off the ground and into a sitting position. He idly crossed his legs, fingers claiming fistfuls of soft grass as he stared up at the sky. ‘I thought I had done everything right, that time.’

Flower Fruit Mountain.

He was back here, again.

How many times does this make it? The… 100th? 200th? 1000th? He was unsure, keeping track of time lost all meaning, to him, only when the sands of time reversed did he realise it had actually passed. Or if some outside force made him aware of it.

It’s funny, how much he used to care about time. How much he had yet so little he lacked.

He exhaled softly, eyes closing as he sat there. The wind blowing through his fur, the sun’s gentle light bearing down on him, soft blades of grass between his fingertips and the sounds of life in varying shapes and sizes from around his mountain.

He would have to get up, soon. Back to work on making sure everything went right, most likely in a different method to the previous one, a slight difference or a major one he didn’t know quite yet, though.

Wait.

His brows furrowed, lips quirking downward in a soft frown as he looked inside of himself.

Where?

Blood flowed beneath his skin, yes. Beating with his layers of Immortality. His heart still beats, the power vested within himself flowing through it and the rest of his body alongside his magic.

And yet.

This was… Odd. Curious, even.

The thread of time seemed to be… Absent? From where it was vested within him, or… Something along those lines. There was nothing exactly physical about it, nor was it anywhere within his flesh.

If it was, he would have torn it out loops ago.

Still, it was odd how it wasn’t there. Considering it’s persistence in the beginning of each and every loop, twisting and curling around itself before slowly beginning to unravel once more and then, ultimately, disappearing until the ‘end’ of the loop to mark the final moments before he had to do it all over again.

Its absence startles him.

And yet.

Was this it? Was he finally finished? Finally freed from the once endless loops? No longer bound to the thread of time and forced to find ways to kick Destiny off its course?

He felt the corners of his lips quirk upwards, breaking the frown as something burned in his chest. Once swaying embers that persisted just as Sun Wukong’s many immortalities, yet ever so slowly grew dark yet darker. Turned into a roaring, raging inferno that set his entire body ablaze once given the slightest hint of fuel.

Hope.

It was a while since he had felt it in such measure, such force , since a while after the loops had dragged on and on.

“Heh,” A snicker escaped him first as he started to shiver from the excitement that began to course through his veins. Then, a small chuckle. “Hehe.” His hands uncurled and curled around the grass between his fingers, legs kicking out from their crossed position as he began to laugh. “Haha!” He fell onto his back, heart pounding away within his chest as he felt his face split from how wide the smile on his face was.

Then, he cackled.

It was loud, it was unrestrained, it most certainly didn’t sound sane in any measure of the word. But did he care? No. He had the right to something like this, after so long.

He let go of the grass and flapped his hands, kicked his feet, wagged his tail, rolled around alongside his loud, unrestrained laughter. Just, anything to get rid of the excess of energy that flowed through his body and set his heart pounding and his head feeling light.

Though that may be just because he was unable to breathe properly from laughter.

Eh, he was immortal enough to keep going.

So he did.

Time was a construct that held no sway over him, now. For he was finally, finally free from its clutches. He could do whatever he wanted now! With no fear of everything eventually resetting! He could do so, so much more now!

Or nothing at all!

He had thought, even dreamt, about this moment. Of everything he do when he was finally free! But he could just, do nothing at all! Just stay on Flower Fruit Mountain and eat peaches! Or, or! Or draw, make games! Explore the rest of the world and nab any artefact or treasure or just anything in general that drew his fancy or was too dangerous to just have not laying around in his vault!

There was so much for him to choose from, and the best thing was? He didn’t know what to do at all!

Oh this was! This was great!

Eventually, he was left sprawled out on the ground, a delightful burn in his lungs as he gave it the air it desperately lacked moments prior. His vision was blurry and his face was wet both from shed and unshed tears with even more on the way.

It felt… Good. He, felt good. So… Free.

And tired, too. Not physically, but perhaps everything had finally caught up to him.

He felt his eyelids slip shut,

Maybe… Sleeping for a while wouldn’t hurt, right? 

He was free, after all…

----

A wave of power that washed over him broke him from his slumber, and barely a thought crossed his mind before he was pushing himself up off the ground, blinking away the crust from his eyes as his vision turned golden.

That wave of power did move than wash over him, it pulsed through the entirety of Flower Fruit Mountain. Sun Wukong flung his head all about, his mind shrugging off the fatigue in exchange for nothing but panic and agitation.

His hand moved towards his ear, before he paused.

Oh, right.

He didn’t have the staff in this timeline.

He instead plucked off one of his hairs, turning it into a staff that he clenched and unclenched his fingers around. Before ultimately letting go off, its shape changing back into a hair that blew off and away into the wind.

It just didn’t feel the same.

Regardless, he jumped up into the air, a familiar golden cloud manifesting under him that his feet touched down on. He rose into the air, hoping to use the vantage point to see just where the wave of power came from-

Oh.

-And his vision was instantly drawn towards a specific part of Flower Fruit Mountain, his enhanced vision instantly able to pinpoint exactly the why and how.

This was… Unexpected.

He shouldn’t-

This wasn’t how-

What?

His cloud zoomed across the mountain while his brain struggled to process what he was seeing. Before long, disappearing under him as he touched down to the ground, feet taking his absent mind over to the small boulder that had previously held a small stone-

“Ba?” The soft, fragile voice called out.

-now replaced with a child.

“Heya, bud.” Sun Wukong said softly, reaching out and picking the newborn off of the stone. An uneasy smile playing at his lips as an even uneasier chuckle escaped him. “You’re uh, I didn’t expect to be seeing you, here.” He said.

“Baba?” The child reached out, patting him on the cheek and looking him in the eyes. Before reaching up to his… eyes?

Oh, right.

Gold flickered out of his vision, and whatever plausible deniability he once had disappeared along with it. 

“No,” He chuckled, shifting around on his feet as his tail thumped against the ground behind him. Rather that than showing just how agitated he actually was. “Not your baba, kiddo.” He said, even as his mind travelled a mile a minute to try and wrap around and understand what, exactly, was going on.

He wasn’t supposed to be here, not this far back at least.

The kid’s- no MK’s face scrunched up in front of him.

Sun Wukong blinked, tilting his head in confusion.

Confusion melted away into bewilderment as MK sneezed, the generated wide pressure enough to blast away the blades of grass and dirt from his fur as well as turn it into a mess. Even pushing Wukong’s head back a bit!

He blinked.

MK sniffled.

He looked behind him, the only area safe from destruction being the ground immediately behind him. Everything else having been either upturned or blown away. He then turned back towards MK.

“Right,” He began slowly. “I forgot you could do that.” He hummed, jumping up a bit as he leaned back and fell onto his cloud. He shifted MK around to hold him in the crook of one of his arms and against his chest, his other hand hovering over the infant in his arm.

He flexed his fingers, drawing upon his magic into a familiar shape guided by his will, a magic circle forming beneath his fingertips. 

He paused.

He didn’t know why, exactly. Logically, he knew what he should have done. Sealed the kid’s magic, fly over to the nearby city then drop him right outside of Pigsy’s door and wipe his hands clean of the situation and just watch from afar.

So why, exactly, was he hesitating?

It was the right choice, the correct choice in all honesty.

He didn’t need MK on his mountain, MK wouldn’t be MK if he grew up on Flower Fruit Mountain either. Life as a mortal, no matter how powerless he became- no, because of how powerless he became despite his origin, would shape and mould him, alongside Pigsy’s guidance, into the MK that Sun Wukong knew and cared for.

The MK that would go on to become his successor.

So why-

“Ababa!” Mk reached out for the magic circle, stars in his eyes as giggles spilled from his lips. 

He felt two things curl in his chest. One that made him feel warm, lessened the unease of his smile and softened his eyes as he cooed at the infant.

And the other.

Ah, so that’s why.

He was curious.

Curious indeed.

This… Situation, offered him a chance for something new. An opportunity to change the course of destiny in its entirety.

And yet.

It wouldn’t be the right choice.

Everything that had made MK, well, MK had happened without his interference. In which he only watched from afar as MK grew from an infant into an adult that was eccentric yet loveable. All the way until he eventually found and picked up his staff and sent everything into motion.

If he kept MK, instead of giving him up, that would offer up new opportunities. So many different things for him to try, to do, all of which would shape MK into an individual that would either be so far from the one in his memory, a carbon copy, or a middle ground.

It would also render knowledge that Sun Wukong held useless or close to it.

So, what to do?

Give him up, and play by Destiny’s script.

Or.

Keep him, and try something new?

[chaotic-goodsir]

For day 2 of this Hatchetverse series thing, here's part of the sequel to You Could Call This Luck that I've been trying and failing to finish. Turns out plotting a thing about time travel with multiple POVs and timelines is hard.

To avoid confusion: in this particular timeline, (most of) the events of the musicals didn't happen. Time Bastard did, though, because we all know Ted can't catch a break.

(Also sorry for the long post - I don't usually post fic like this directly to Tumblr, but since this is unfinished I didn't want to put it on Ao3 just yet)

*

Pete Lauter sits at the desk in his science classroom at Hatchetfield High School, trying to finish the last of the week's marking. His eyes are dry from staring at his tablet screen, and the hum of the heating units is starting to get on his nerves. His students' lab reports all blend into one after a while - most of them are clearly written by AI. Getting teenagers to write anything as unexciting as a lab report on their own these days is almost impossible. He's not sure why the school still requires it, but then who is he, a mere teacher, to question the relevance of the national curriculum? Only the guy who sees first-hand how badly it works for his students.

Pete doesn't hate his job, most of the time, but it can get exhausting. This particular evening, he's ready to go home, heat up yesterday's leftovers - maybe make a hot chocolate, why not? - and enjoy the Friday-night peace and quiet. Theo will be out somewhere with his friends, and Steph's away on highly-classified work business. It's the perfect time to finally start that sci-fi novel that's been sitting on his bedside table for weeks. He's craving some decent, interesting writing that isn't the work of a teenager or a robot.

Sounds like a plan, he thinks, saving the report he's been working through and switching the tablet to sleep mode. He'll get the last of the marking done on Sunday night. For now it's future-Pete's problem.

He pulls on his jacket - his favourite, the one with the elbow patches that Steph bought for him last Christmas - and is about to pack the tablet away when the screen blinks into life again.

Ruth Fleming's icon (a photo from her honeymoon in Europe, Ruth and her wife smiling in front of a clear blue sky) flashes onto the screen. It's no surprise that she's still at work - drama club starts in an hour, and she has rehearsals to direct. Pete sighs and taps the icon, hoping she isn't about to ask him to help out again.

'Hey Ruth,' he says. 'I was just about to head home - do you need something?'

Ruth sounds a little out of breath, the way she always does when she's anxious.

'Pete, thank god you're still here. You need to come to the north wing staffroom, now. It's your son.'

Pete freezes. 'Theo?'

'Of course it's Theo. Do you have another son? Look, I don't wanna worry you, but he's hurt. You should come quick.'

'What do you mean, hurt?' Pete asks, panic rising. What is Theo even doing in school, on a Friday night? Something stupid and dangerous, clearly, if he's managed to hurt himself.

Pete swings his backpack onto one shoulder, carrying the tablet in his free hand as he rushes out of the room. He doesn't bother to lock the classroom door.

'How badly? Like, ambulance bad?'

'I don't know. I don't think so. But he's talking crazy.'

He's talking, Pete thinks, okay. He feels bad for thinking it, but he's not 100% convinced this isn't just Theo pulling a prank. He wouldn't put it past his son to do this kind of thing for attention. Theo Lauter is a lot of things, but a well-adjusted teenager doesn't seem to be one of them, no matter what Pete and Steph try.

Ruth knows that, of course, and the worry in her voice is making Pete worry too. She'd see through a typical Theo prank pretty easily. Which means this is probably real.

'I'm on my way.' He tells Ruth. 'I'll be five minutes.'

He hangs up and races down the corridor, cutting through the courtyard to get to the North Wing. The staffroom is upstairs, in the English and Languages corridor. When he gets there, the door is wedged open. Ruth is by the sofa, trying to comfort a teenage boy who looks a lot like his son.

But there's no sign of Theo's trademark denim jacket or band t-shirt. This kid is wearing a white shirt, suspenders, and bowtie, all stained with - Pete realises in horror - a concerning amount of blood. Instead of Theo's ponytail, this kid has his hair down, shoulder length, pinned back to keep it out of his face. And this kid is wearing glasses, with a crack across one lens.

Theo has his mother's eyesight. He's never needed glasses in his life.

Either Theo's pranks have reached a whole new level of elaborate, or this is not Pete's son at all. This kid looks more like-

Well, he looks more like him. Like Pete himself, when he was 25 years younger.

Not for the first time, Pete considers that he really needs to move his family out of Hatchetfield. Only in this messed-up town would something like that even be a possibility.

The kid notices him standing in the doorway, and his eyes go wide behind his cracked glasses. Then he says something that disproves neither the actual-time-travel theory nor the Theo-pulling-a-prank one, but spooks Pete either way.

'...Ted?'

*

Agent Stephanie Lauter is in a highly classified meeting at the PIEP HQ when the smartwatch around her wrist starts to buzz.

She glances at it, annoyed, and sees her husband's icon blinking at her. Pete knows she's busy today. He wouldn't call unless it was something urgent. He's one of the only contacts who can call her through the HQ's high tech digital barrier system.

Maybe it's just an accident. She swipes the icon away. If it's urgent, he'll call back.

She waits for a pause in General Lee's presentation, then raises a hand.

'I'm sorry, sir. My husband is trying to call me - I think it's urgent.'

'Well, you had better take it then,' Lee says, with his characteristic earnestness. No matter the situation, the old General has a way of always seeming that he knows more than anyone else about what's going on. It's a little disconcerting.

He waves towards the door. 'Good luck, Agent Lauter. I hope your family are all safe and well.'

She thanks him, apologises again, and leaves quickly. Outside the meeting room, a security guard in a bulletproof vest watches her pace anxiously up and down the corridor as she returns Pete's call.

'Steph,' he says when he picks up. There's an anxious note in his voice that she does not like the sound of. 'Sorry, I know you're at work. Are you busy right now?'

'It's fine,' she says. 'What's wrong?'

'It's Theo,' Pete says, then pauses. 'Well, no, it's not Theo. At least he says he's not, and I think he's telling the truth. I... I don't really know how to explain this, Steph. It's gonna sound crazy.'

'Breathe, babe,' Steph says, because Pete is talking at about a hundred miles an hour now. 'I work for PIEP. I can cope with crazy.'

'Okay.' Pete says, taking a breath. 'Okay.'

'Is Theo alright?'

'Yeah. At least I hope so. He's at his friends, probably. I'm at school, and there's a kid here that looks like him. Ruth thought it was Theo, and he's covered in blood - not hurt, thank god, just covered in it - so she called me. But it's not. Not Theo, I mean.'

'What? Who is it?'

'I think it's me.'

To anyone else, in any other context, those words wouldn't make sense. Pete is a 41 year old man, and their son is 16. It would be insane to mistake one for the other. Not to mention that Pete is Pete. This kid that's shown up covered in blood can't possibly also be him. One person can't possibly be in two places at once.

But in Hatchetfield, anything is possible. And then, on top of that, there's the Spankoffski Effect.

Steph has often wished she could tell Pete more about the work she does for PIEP. About the data that shows his brother Ted's disappearance, back in 2019, wasn't just an unexplained tragedy but a large-scale temporal incident affecting multiple universes. Pete doesn't even know that there are multiple universes. It would probably break his little nerd heart if he knew she wasn't telling him.

Nor does Pete know about how, the day she told the now-retired General MacNamara that she and Pete were engaged, his congratulations came with a warning:

'By all means, marry a Spankoffski if you wish, Miss Lauter. But a word of advice. I'd strongly suggest you don't take that name, and don't give it to your children.'

When she asked him why, he'd told her that was classified. It wasn't until she graduated from training that she first heard about the Spankoffski Effect, and put two and two together.

In every timeline known to PIEP researchers, something with the power to sever a person from the flow of time itself has an interest in - no, more like an obsession with - Pete's brother, and possibly his entire family.

She's not sure she could tell her husband that part even if she had clearance.

And now Pete's younger self has appeared at the school where he teaches. Steph does not like the sound of that at all.

'You're sure it's not Theo pulling a prank? I wouldn't put it past him.'

'If it is, he deserves an oscar. And this kid has my phone, Steph. From years ago. With my medical alert details, everything. I don't think Theo would go that far.'

Probably not, no, but she wants to be absolutely sure. 'Have you called Theo? Checked where he is?'

'Shit,' Pete says, then catches himself for swearing in front of a student. 'I mean, uh, shoot, no. I should have done that.'

She tries adding Theo to the call they're already on. The line rings out, so she tries again. No answer.

'Steph, if you're calling him, I can't hear it ringing. I don't think this kid has Theo's watch.'

A message appears on Steph's watch screen:

< Fuck off, mom, I'm busy :) >

'Well,' She says, wondering briefly about nature and nurture and whether it's some failure of parenting that turned her son into such a little shit, 'our son just messaged me. Unless he can do that with only his mind, I don't think he's with you.'

'Okay,' Pete says. Then, 'shit.' He doesn't catch himself this time.

Shit is right, Steph thinks. 'Wait there. Keep the kid calm. Stay calm yourself, okay? I'll come to you.'

She doesn't tell him she's planning to bring PIEP agents with her, but he's probably figured that out already.

'Aren't you in DC?'

'Yeah, so you'll have to hold out for a few hours. Anything weird happens - anything else weird - you call me straight away, okay?'

'Okay. Yeah. Love you.'

'Love you too.'

Steph hangs up. She pinches the bridge of her nose with one hand and groans, wondering why she never had the sense to move her family out of Hatchetfield.

Would that have helped, though? If something from the Black and White is after Pete, couldn't it find him anywhere, if it wanted to?

The security guard is staring at her.

'Everything okay, ma'am?'

'Yeah,' she says. 'I'm fine. Just - don't ever marry a Spankoffski, no matter how cute he is.'

The guard blinks, clearly baffled.

'Um... right.'

[nancypullen]

It’s Fall O’Clock Somewhere

The view outside my kitchen window tells me that we’re at peak summer.

The window over my sink shows sunflowers blooming and blue skies.

Another wall of the kitchen is mostly windows and shows flower baskets tumbling with blossoms and Sassafras Woods looking like a jungle.

Side note: I think I have ADD sunflowers.  We drive by fields of beautiful sunflowers every day, all of their cheerful faces turned uniformly toward the sun, following it across the sky throughout the day.

Not mine.

Each one is looking a different direction. Makes me think of taking a bunch of third graders on a field trip. Oh well, I’m happy they bloomed. Back to my point (did I have one?). Oh yeah, although it looks and feels like summer outside, inside the house I was wrapped up in autumn.

My sister had sent an Instagram reel to me of a woman who picked up an ugly painting at Goodwill, just a picture of a house and garden, and used her own paint to add ghosties coming out of the windows and bats in the sky.  Well, you know that’s right up my alley!  I pick up ugly pictures and paintings all the time because I like the frames (and know I’ll use them someday).  I looked through my stash and found this one.

Looks like a girl with some serious anemia being held prisoner in a walled garden.  Her eyes are just dark hollows, so she’s already a little spooky. Everything is very soft and pastel, so I took out my paints and got busy. I changed the color of her dress, gave her a hat, changed the pink flowers in the basket to little pumpkins with brown stems, and added yellow leaves to that tree beside her.

Holy cow, this was FUN!  After that I just went crazy on all of the trees, added a black cat to a wall, and made sort of a hybrid graveyard/pumpkin patch.

Don’t judge it just yet, I still have to go in and refine some shapes and shadows. I think I need to do something to those walls too. They look too...wrong.  Maybe if I just darken that edgework at the top, add some spiderwebs and a little cracking?  Anyway, DO THIS!  What fun and cheap Halloween decor! Go paw through the pictures at your Goodwill or local yard sale and find one that you can turn spooky. This picture was $2, I’ll either change or paint the mat (sorry that pink and mauve has to go), and the frame is good and solid.  I’ll post another photo when I finish it.  I have to stare at it for a day or so and decide what to change, fix, and add.

This pumpkin needs a bit of fixing, and don’t you think it needs a little mouse beside it too?

And this area is all kinds of wonky, but once it’s fixed should there be a ghost?

Or maybe just more mice?  I’m leaning toward mice. I’ll figure it all out and have fun doing it.  If the end result is ugly I’ve only wasted a couple of dollars and spent some very happy hours in my favorite sort of witchy autumn. That’s how I’m getting through this weather, by painting pumpkins.  We’re under a heat advisory and should be almost 100 degrees today but I think the forecast is promising.  Experts are saying that the temps here will start dropping tomorrow. I talked to a gentleman yesterday who has lived on the Eastern Shore for 52 years and he said this is rare. Sadly, I think this will become the norm. Somewhere, Al Gore is saying, “I TOLD YOU SO!” But enough about that, there are chores to be done and if I’m quick enough with those, more painting this afternoon.  I think I’ll be making friends with the mice that come out of the end of my paintbrush.  Wishing you a Saturday that’s just the way you like it, busy or peaceful. Sending love, hugs, and autumn vibes your way.  If we build it, it will come, right? Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[lightneverfades]

That Damned Gazebo

Frostiron Holiday Wishes Challenge ❆ 🎅🎄 Prompt by @snarkyship Fic written by @worstloki Note: AH! So sorry this is a late post, tumblr messed up and I didn’t receive this on Xmas day! Ah! Thank you @worstloki for resending! TwT <3333

Wish (Prompt/Idea): Human/no powers AU. Sort-of-enemies to friends to lovers.Tony rents this house/bungalow by the sea for the summer, with a kind of private beach where there is also a cute gazebo. Only that the gazebo is exactly halfway with the other property (by some mistake?). And the tenant of the neighbour bungalow is Loki, who's not so keen on sharing. So Loki&Tony will start a "war" to gain possession of the gazebo, doing their worst using the excuse of "this is my half, I can use it as I want". ((Optional: there is a table right in the middle, so at the beginning they sit at their own side glaring at each other, before starting deploying more convoluted tactics)).Mischief after mischief, they will start to know each other and of course everything will end with one of them inviting the other to their half for a romantic dinner and they'll end up sharing more than the gazebo <3((I hope it's enough clear and but also not too detailed??)) 

Stupid cute bungalow. Stupid cute gazebo. Stupid cute neighbour.

All Tony wanted was a vacation; a break from running a business and having to argue for his ideas to get accepted by the marketing teams and just some time to lay low and relax.

All Loki wanted was a break from being upstaged in his section of the family business by his brother; some time off to cool down and de-stress and lay low and relax.

But instead only half their regular favourite beach house was available no matter how much cash they offered to throw at the real estate company renting it out. Could they have picked a different place to stay? Maybe. But none of the other decent rentables this far west have a gazebo, and they would have nowhere to sit alone and admire the waves from afar if they took a place without one.

And, of course, that’s where it all started— that gazebo.

That damned gazebo.

———

Day 1

Tony Stark, genius, entrepreneur, philanthropist, makes his way unsteadily down the sandy-grassy slope from the bungalow to the beach, arms filled with an excessive amount of floating supplies, a personalized towel, sunglasses only half on, a fun-sized bottle of the finest sun lotion, a laptop because he may leave the stock market but the stock market may not leave him, a black Prada shirt over khaki Hawaiian shorts, a speaker for music, hot-rod red flip flops, a bag of snacks, a thin multipurpose blanket, and a polaroid.

He almost slips a few times on his way down, and he thinks he sees a crab and swears, but he does make it down to the brilliant white-sand beach of Malibu unharmed.

His plan is simple: spend the day in the shade of the wooden gazebo, sneak a peek at how his business is holding up, check his emails, play some Tetris, sunbathe around noon when the sun is highest, back under the shelter till the sun starts going down, into the water for some splashing, drying off as the sun sets, listen to some tunes while laying under the stars for a while.

Just a regular day off at his favourite beach.

He walks to the shaded gazebo area and draws the curtain to enter, and dumps the entire contents within his arms over the table in the center. He turns to open up the curtains on all sides but is interrupted by an ahem.

Tony turns, and, in the curtained darkness, makes out the figure of a person.

He must be the one who booked out the other half of the house, Tony thinks, eying the stranger sitting at the opposite end of the table with only a book and bottle of water. Show-off minimalists, Tony thinks, saltily.

“I would prefer if you didn’t open those,” he says, and Tony doesn’t recognize the accent, but there definitely is one. Maybe it’s a blend?

“But what’s the point of sitting under a gazebo on a beach if you can’t see the view?” Tony asks, pulling one open, letting in some light.

The man practically hisses at Tony for doing it, which, okay, weird, but that’s normal when you’re assaulted with bright light and have been sitting in the dark.

“How were you reading in the dark anyway? Don’t you know it’s bad for your eyes?”

“I assure you I was able to read just fine.”

“Yeah… I’m opening the rest of these too…” Tony says, reaching for the curtain by the other side.

“Not if you wish to share this table, you won’t,” the man threatens.

“Are you… trying to bribe me?” Tony asks, shocked, because who does this guy think he is?

“Compromise with,” the man has the gall to say. “And with table space, yes,” and Tony sputters. What can he even say to this. He’s here for a vacation, not to argue with strangers who are taking up half the gazebo space that should be his!

“Half,” Tony suggests, because he will not sit in the dark all day and miss out on his beach-view just so he gets to use the table. “You get half of this space, and I get the other half, and we can do whatever we want on our sides.”

The man sighs. “Fine. That sounds fair.”

The two of them spend the entire rest of the day sitting at opposite sides of the table pretending they’re not intentionally glaring and making crazy faces and trying to telepathically get rid of the other when they’re not looking.

Tony doesn’t comment on how the man barely gets any reading done and the man in turn doesn’t comment on how much equipment Tony brought down that he doesn’t use at any point in favour of using the laptop to retain his spot under the gazebo.

Schedule be damned, Tony is going to enjoy his vacation, and that means enjoying his duplex bungalow, even if someone else is renting half, and enjoying his gazebo that may be in-between the properties and they both may be paying for but is 100% actually his.

They wait each other out, and both head up to their houses at the same time; around midnight.

———

Day 2

Loki wakes at his usual time, showers, pointedly gets dressed into anything but the black shirt he has that matches what the man had on yesterday, and grabs his book before he heads down to the beach.

Having to share the same table was, simply put, incredibly awkward, but Loki has faith in it not happening again. He’s just going to make his way down to the gazebo and spend the day relaxing and rereading his favourite series without a pretentious-bearded neighbour showing up and making things weird.

“YOU!” Loki hears, and turns to find the same man from yesterday rushing down the slope towards him, “WHY ARE YOU UP AT THIS TIME?!”

Loki takes in the sight of the man dressed in a half-buttoned-up hawaiian shirt and pajama pants, with only a laptop and towel in hand, hair clearly fresh from bed, and, before he thinks better of it, counters eloquently with, “why are you half dressed?”

The man waves his arms in frustration, “I was tired! And in a rush! You don’t get to judge me, you’re the other f*ck who woke up this early!”

“I… normally get up this early…” Loki informs him, backing away slowly.

He can’t believe he’s going to have to deal with this guy again.

At least his sweatshirt has a green hood so he can block the guy out of his sight, right? He won’t spend the entire day rereading paragraphs because the man at the other end of the table is making him feel anxious, right? Surely the man is bringing the towel to lay in the sand which means he won’t be needing the gazebo, right?

Loki literally booked this bungalow because it’s in Malibu, and no one pays for a place like this in Malibu when you can rent a lower quality place and spend the money on beach parties and drinks. The fact that it’s far enough from home to make him feel safer was a bonus, but he really just wanted to be alone for a few days.

Loki takes a seat, and crosses one leg over the other, getting comfy so he can lean the book on the table. He tries not to get annoyed that the curtains are still parted halfway. He wouldn’t mind if the ones on his side were open too, but at this point he’s not acquiescing a point to the stranger.

The man pulls the wooden chair out and sits down opposite him.

Of course he does.

Why wouldn’t he.

“So you’re really going to keep reading in the dark?” he says, flipping open his laptop.

“Yep, and that suits me just fine, thank you,” Loki answers neutrally.

“Does my no-light-reading-neighbour have a name?”

“Do you?”

“Tony.”

“Loki.”

“Nice to meet you, Loki,”

“Thank you.”

Loki uses his bookmark to flip to his page, and starts reading. He will not get distracted by this Tony. It’s totally normal to share this table. It’s not huge, but it’s built for at least six, so there’s space. Maybe not enough to lay on, but it’s enough distance to ignore the clicking of Tony’s keyboard as he frantically presses keys.

Loki is two hours into enjoying his reading time, and he thinks he was doing well.

He’d smiled every time Tony yawned because with eye-rubbing and deep sighs that man was not used to getting up early, but he’d actually gotten through nearly three chapters without incident.

Then, the infuriating man had plunked a speaker onto the table and started playing AC/DC.

Now he’s reread this one line at least fourteen times and still doesn’t know what the red-head was doing with Jon.

“Why?” Loki asks, “Why must you do this? You can see me reading, you’re blocking out the distant sound of waves hitting the shore, it’s not even at a decent volume, so, why?!”

“Sorry, what was that?” Tony answers, “Did you say something? Because I couldn’t hear you over the music, but it sounded like you had an issue with what I was doing on my side.”

“Your music is not staying on your side!” Loki argues, but only receives a shrug and an increase in volume.

He presses his lips together.

Fine. If you’re going to be petty about this, then I can too.

Under the table, Loki kicks Tony.

He hasn’t got shoes on, but he’s always had a knack for aiming very well, and Tony’s whimper (?) (it’s hard to tell with the music so loud) assures him he hit the shin bone well enough.

By the time Tony is done cradling his leg and looks up at Loki with a mix of anger/betrayal, Loki is already reading again, the perfect image of serenity.

Loki tries not to laugh as Tony discovers his legs are not long enough to kick back.

———

Day 3

Tony didn’t bother trying to wake up before Loki this time.

He went at his own pace, and remembered to change out of the pajamas, brushed his hair, had coffee, and took the time to make himself a few sandwiches to enjoy through the day.

Yesterday he even went for a quick swim around ten at night and headed straight back up to his side of the bungalow, because he’s a responsible adult who doesn’t need to out-do a stranger’s sleep-schedule. Or leg-length. Or laugh.

It isn’t a competition or anything.

By the time he makes it down to the beach, he finds Loki sitting under the gazebo, alone, with all the curtains tied open.  

He’s also... wearing a black Prada shirt which matches the one Tony threw on this morning?? What?! Taking up half the space on his side of the table with 1 (one) bottle of water wasn’t enough, he also has to taunt him by wearing the exact same thing?!

He storms to his side of the gazebo and slams his palms down, taking satisfaction in the fact that Loki was startled and drops his book onto the table. Tony hopes he’s lost the page he was on.

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

“Hello, neighbour,” Loki greets, gingerly picking up his book again and giving a hesitant smile. “I didn’t realise you would be wearing the same shirt again, but I was hoping we could get off on a different foot today?”

Huh, well, would ya look at that, Tony thinks, I actually won. The sucker is gonna admit I’m too much and wave the white flag.

“That... actually sounds great,” Tony answers with his award-winning client-smile, sitting down opposite him. “This whole thing with splitting the table and curtains in half was a bit ridiculou—”

Tony yelps and stands up and starts frantically rubbing his hand over his butt which is stinging— he looks down at his seat and sees the culprit —a crab, menacing in all it’s crabby glory.

“Are you... okay?” Loki asks, far too confused, far too innocently, far too worried for it to be genuine, “what’s wrong?”

Tony, outraged, yells at Loki, “DID YOU FRICKIN PUT A CRAB IN MY SEAT?!”

“I— what?”

“WHO THE F*CK CALLS A PARLEY AND CRABS SOMEONE?!”

“No! I didn’t— are you okay??” Loki says, and he’s gotten up and rushing over and...okay, MAYBE he didn’t mastermind the crab.

“NO, I AM NOT, BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING,” Tony screams, backing away from Loki, and running towards his bungalow.

Running in sand is hard, but Tony discovers it’s much harder when your butt is stinging.

———

Loki… did not put a crab on Tony’s seat.

He’d honestly wanted to draw up a truce, maybe have an actual conversation with Tony, and he even brought a towel and wore a change of clothes underneath in the event that the man wanted to go for a swim and wouldn’t mind if Loki joined.

He’d even brought snacks to share.

But now he feels bad.

Had kicking him under the table every time Tony had put the volume too loud or managed to slide low enough to kick him back or played We're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard been bad? Had it been too much? Why else would Tony assume he’d actually try and hurt him?

The glare-offs had just been fun, faces when they thought the other couldn’t see wasn’t bad-intentioned, the kicking hadn’t meant to injure. Loki had thought they were getting along. Perhaps he had misunderstood? Perhaps the other had not felt they were fun little pranks?

He owes Tony an apology.

———

Tony has been icing his butt for an hour. If he had any duct tape, he would’ve duct taped the peas to his butt.

Tony is thinking about how if he had any duct tape he would’ve duct taped the peas to his butt by now when someone bangs at his door.

Gee, I wonder who it could be, Tony thinks, as he goes to answer the door. Just so many people who visit this private beach residence. In all honesty it’s kind of sweet that Loki would turn up to check on him at all really.

Tony leaves the pea packet on the nearest counter and goes to answer the door. Good thing about this bungalow: it has many spare counters for things like dumping peas. An excessive amount of counters, even, and he questions what the designer had been thinking.

Tony swings the door open, “Hey there, crab-man.”

“I’m sorry,” Loki blurts.

“Hey, it’s okay, it doesn’t even hurt that much anymore, but at least you’re owning to it.”

“I didn’t set that up! I wouldn’t actually try to cause any lasting damage,” Loki explains.

Tony sighs.

“Yeah, I figured, I was just caught up in the moment and shouldn’t have blamed you.”

“Would’ve been a very Shakespearean betrayal too…” Loki muses.

“So… anything else you came to say?” Tony asks. Although he’s not sure why.

“Would you be feeling up to sharing the table like normal people?”

“Oh, come on, where would be the fun in that?” Tony jokes.

“You… weren’t hurt or offended when I kicked you or said your music taste is dumb?”

“Course not. We’ve all had wild college nights out, believe me, kick to the shins was nothing.”

“Crab grabs though…”

“If you want to share the table like normal people we will not be mentioning the crab grab.”

“Deal,” Loki says, and he’s beaming as if he’s won a prize. Which is really cute. Which is why Tony doesn’t regret slamming the door in his face.

Stupid cute neighbour.

He needs to change anyway.

———

Loki and Tony hang out under the gazebo, and they share the table.

Every so often Loki will read a line or two aloud and Tony will find himself snickering in response to Loki’s comments on the lines if not the lines themselves. Every now and then Tony tells Loki to look over at his screen as he invests in either the stock market or a round of Tetris.

Around noon Tony asks if Loki would like to sunbathe with him and Loki sees no reason not to join in. He doesn’t have any sunscreen of his own but Tony has plenty and is happy to share.

They talk about their work, and what they’re avoiding (family) in their little getaways from home, just things about life generally.

The sun is going to set soon when Loki asks if Tony would like to spend some time by the water with him.

The two of them spend a good thirty minutes hitting each other with floaties when they aren't sitting around in them, and, despite wading in till their knees, and flinging water at each other, they manage not to get too wet.

They sit in the sand watching the sun set in beautiful streaks of purples and orange as they dry off their feet.

Loki brought two towels in case of such a scenario (which Tony finds very endearing and sweet) and they lay on them as they watch the sky darken to reveal the stars. Loki tries to point out some constellations but Tony is convinced he’s making them up. Maybe he is.

The two of them share sandwiches and chips and chocolates and decide to head up early at around nine.

Tony invites Loki over for a movie, and how can Loki say no? He only just met him, but he’d rather be stuck sharing this bungalow and beach and gazebo with him than have to return home in a few days.

The house is huge, and there is plenty of room on the couch for them to be spaced out, but they choose to share a blanket and stay close because they want to.

Loki hadn’t planned on sleeping over, but he stays late and falls asleep in the middle of a movie and Tony doesn’t mind at all. It’s hard for him to mind when he’s also fallen asleep.

———

Day 4

Tony wakes early.

Not Loki-early, but earlier than usual, because he’s looking forward to spending time with Loki.

Hmm. Maybe it is technicallyyy still Loki-early. Whatever.

Except, Tony wakes up alone and walks down the slope to the gazebo, and finds it empty. A quick scan of the beach also yields no results. Which is concerning, but not overly so. Maybe he just has something else to do today?

Tony gets through a few hours by rotating through Tetris, League of Legends, and Galaga, before he gives in and walks up to Loki’s half of the duplex bungalow.

He bangs his fist on the door and waits.

About a minute later, Loki answers, in green-plaid pants and a vintagey AC/DC band shirt, hair looking only half brushed.

“Are you seriously wearing that kind of shirt as pajamas?”

“Yes. And good... morning?”

“Morning!” Tony cheerily greets in return, before his expression gets less so, “why aren’t you out today?”

“Good afternoon? I... just wasn’t feeling too well, a bad day I guess,” Loki explains, which Tony understands. “And I already over-lived my stay with you yesterday, so I thought you could have the gazebo all to yourself today, since I’m not really in a beach mood anyway.”

And that’s a big no in Tony’s book because no he didn’t go too far or over-stay anything and no he doesn’t owe him anything and no in general because Tony liked spending time with him! He’s fun and caring and Tony’s wondering where this guy was for every other vacation he spent here because Tony considers him a friend!

“That’s sweet,” Tony lies, “I’m not really in a beach mood either.”

“Ah. Would you… like to come in?” Loki asks, hesitant.

“Of course buddy, if my friend wants to stay home I’m sticking with him.”

Loki stands aside, letting Tony into the bungalow that he’s used to owning on his own, but, shockingly enough, doesn’t mind sharing anymore.

“Would it be bad to ask what kind of bad mood?” Tony questions, taking a seat by the TV. It’s off and he doesn’t see a remote.

“A bit, yes, but I value the thought,” Loki answers, checking the kitchen cupboards.

“So what were you doing in here all alone without me, beach buddy?”

“Reading.”

Hmm. Tony considers. They did do what he had wanted yesterday.

“Can I join?” Tony inquires, “if you have any spare books, that is.”

“I didn’t know you could read.” Loki says with half-hearted disgust, walking behind the couch to a small bookshelf.

“Harry Potter, you got me,” Tony states in the driest tone, “Ha ha.”

“I’ve got the second Game of Thrones—“

“There’s a book?!”

“And the series hasn’t updated in years.”

“Bummer, hate when they do that, but at least the show ended?”

“Yeah, badly,” Loki points out. “I’ve got the Lord of the Rings trilogy.”

“I thought you didn’t like the hobbits being taken to Isengard,” Tony pouts.

“Not when it’s on loop and happening the sixth time in a row,” Loki says, dropping the book into Tony’s lap roughly.

Yeah, okay, the man isn’t feeling well, maybe he should leave? But Tony doesn’t want to leave him alone if he’s feeling bad either!

Tony opens the book, skipping through the contents and prologue-y pages. He will enjoy the book and he’ll do it while sitting on the opposite side of the couch because if Loki doesn’t want to lay across and tangle their legs under a blanket that’s up to him. Besides, that’s more an afternoon activity, and Tony isn’t tired at all, so he’s sitting up properly. Which contrasts with Loki’s slouchy leaning-into-the-couch.

“You know, if it’s too quiet, or the book doesn’t interest you, you can just watch something, I won’t be offended.”

“Not so fast, crab-man, I’m doing this to have fun and try something you enjoy, because I like spending time with you, and think that’s fair,” Tony states, and oh sh*t Loki looks devastated. Quick, something fun, something fun, “So I will definitely be trying to read it... at least a bit, before I do anything else… because I may vehemently not-like reading, but I do enjoy your company.”

“Okay,” Loki verbosely replies.

Tony tries to figure out what he’s done wrong but Loki’s opened his book up already.

Tony manages to get through the book in about two hours. Which means he didn’t actually read through it, he just tried, and kept skipping to pages further along that looked more interesting. To be fair, there is a lot of exposition and world building that he knows doesn’t matter because it’s not in the movies.

Loki’s been shifting how he’s sitting at twenty minute intervals, but Tony hasn’t moved lest he come off as restless and not loving the book.

“You can put something on,” Loki suggests, having noticed that Tony is done.

“It won’t disturb you?”

“Not if you don’t have it unreasonably high.”

Tony looks around for the remote, and doesn’t see it. “Any idea where the remote is?”

“Eh, it’ll be lying around somewhere. Maybe check the kitchen?”

And so, Tony sets out on a quest to find the remote.

He doesn’t find it.

He looks through every inch of the couch and in every kitchen cupboard but all he finds are pop tarts and pennies.

At some point Loki puts his book aside and decides to watch him look. He’s even smiling a tiny bit which Tony takes for a good sign.

“Hey, so, I couldn’t find the remote.”

“That’s a shame,” Loki says, and he’s definitely smiling, “would be horrible if someone knows where it is.”

“YOU!” Tony says, rounding in on him, depression be damned, he’s been looking everywhere for an hour now! “Where is it?!”

“Wh— why do you think I would know?” Loki says, turning his face away, his arms crossed pretentiously.

“You’re laughing!” Tony says, pointing a finger at him. “I spend ages looking for this legendary remote and find out you’ve been playing me the entire time” —Tony pokes a finger in the center of his chest for emphasis— “and you’re laughing!”

And okay, it’s a little funny, and Loki’s having fun, so Tony huffs a laugh too.

“I’m not laughing,” Loki tries to say flatly, face turned away, as he clearly tries not to laugh.

Tony being Tony does the only respectable thing in this kind of scenario and jumps onto the couch, straddling Loki, so he can turn his face back towards him.

“Where’s the remote!” Tony yells, to no avail, not even a reaction to having sat on his legs. Is Loki even breathing? His smile is clearly becoming harder to hold…

“Tell me where the remote is” — Tony grabs the thick novel Loki had been reading — “or I’ll take out your bookmark!”

“No!!!” Loki says, trying to grab hold of his book. “Not the bookmark!!! That’s my one weakness! Please, no! Anything but the bookmark!!!”

“Don’t make me do it!! Because I will!!”

Loki chuckles.

“Fine, you win, here” —Loki reaches a hand under the pillow behind him, and holds up the remote.  

Tony snatches it immediately, and gives Loki a peck on the cheek thanks before getting off and going back to his side of the couch.

If Loki looks a little confused about the quick kiss, it’s gone by the time Tony is done flicking through the channels and decides a nature documentary is something they could both enjoy. When Mr Attenborough mentions otters holding hands when they’re happy and Loki asks if he can hold Tony’s hand of course Tony says yes.

Later, when Loki insists on cooking for the two of them he throws together some instant noodles and adds in carrots and peas and egg and mushrooms, and he asks if Tony would like to share the meal down by the beach, he agrees.

“You sure you’re up for this? I don’t mind eating back in the bungalow, and if you’re feeling uncomfortable I’d rather just go back,” Tony makes clear.

“I don’t actually know why I thought staying home would make me feel any better,” Loki says lightly.

“Hey man, sometimes you’ve just gotta stay home, it happens, don’t worry about it,” Tony consoles, carefully going down the sandy grassy slope to the beach, his huge bowl of noodles held in both hands. It smells great. “Besides, focus on the date for now.”

“This isn’t a date, I just asked you out to the beach to eat some comfort food with me.”

“The very definition of my ideal date,” Tony says, listing, “I was invited, there’s comfort food, we’re both already in our sexy pjs, there’s a beach, I think you’re a great friend and we could be more if you wanted, I’ve got my speaker in case we want some romantic classical music, the sunset will happen soon, what more could I want?”

“We also held hands for ages earlier and you kissed my cheek.” Loki winces, “this is totally a date.”

“Sure is.”

“How did I miss that?”

“If it’s any consolation, I was kidding, but you seem on-board, so… it’s a date?”

“It’s a date,” Loki confirms.

“Noodles on a beach is actually one of my secret fantasies,” Tony says, deadpan.

“Well,” Loki suggests, also deadpan, “there’s plenty of space under the gazebo.”

“Table is kinda obstructive,” Tony points out.

“Only if you’re not creative,” Loki counters.

Tony wriggles his eyebrows, and they both laugh.

———

Loki twists the last of his noodles and stabs his last carrot on his fork and puts it in his mouth. He looks into Tony’s bowl, and finds he’s actually finished first.

“You’re an even slower eater than me,” Loki notes aloud.

“Am not!” Tony blubbers out through a mouthful of noodles, “I’m just taking my time to savour it.”

Loki hums, and puts an elbow on the table to watch him finish up.

“So, what do you want to do now?”

Tony slurps up the rest of his food. “Well, now that I’m done, kiss?”

“I was thinking we could stand by the shoreline and get our feet wet, maybe walk up and down the beach a bit…”

“I mean, I’d rather walk up and down you,” Tony says, making a show of looking over Loki, who in turn snickers.

“I’m sorry, that was terrible,” Tony laughs, “it’s just, walk on the beach, that’s so freakin romantic, yeah I’m up for that.”

And it’s nice knowing that they can still hang out as friends, even if Loki is admittedly also intent on the kissing part.

They leave their bowls and flip flops in a pile in the sand and walk to the shore together.

Tony’s hand is warm in his as they swing their arms gently and just take in the salty air and talk about things; just facts about themselves and stories about life and things they like.

Loki’s not sure how much time has passed but it’s dark and only the night sky and it’s reflection on the water provide any light when he presses a hand under Tony’s chin to tip his face up so he can kiss him. It’s slow and sweet, and Tony— even though Loki finds it hard to believe in the moment —kisses back.

They pull apart, and everything is irrelevant in the face of the happiness they feel in having found each other, even by chance.

They kiss again; slower, deeper, and with an urgency ill-befitting of the time and space they have available.

———

Day 5

All records of the final entry have been [REDACTED] until further notice to maintain the rating of this fic.

It can be recalled that the [REDACTED] information featured notable involvement of local gazebo space not limited to below, above, and/or against the table, various uses of the excessive counters both halves of the rented space, more than banging on doors, and future plans for the continued entanglement of [REDACTED] leg distribution underneath blankets.

The reader is warned not to attempt searching for and/or to develop any interest in a desire to search for [REDACTED] records in future placements.

(The End.)

[twdmusicboxmystery]

The Daryl and Leah Spoilers - Everybody BREATHE!

Okay, let’s talk about it. We’re gonna have to talk about it. The Crappiest Spoilers of All Time. (We’ll just abbreviate them CSAT, okay?)

Yes, I saw them. Yes, I spent most of the day yesterday talking about them with people. Yes, we went up and down and forward and back and right and left trying to figure out what the hell. Actually, I literally got 68 Asks about this yesterday. 68! Lol. I may have sarcastically told a couple of people it was 400. It wasn’t that high. But even when something big happens, I don’t generally get more than about 20, so this was a lot.

***Below I’ll be talking about all kinds of spoilers for 10x18! If you’re not someone who wants to know, stop reading now. You’ve been warned!***

Okay, let’s start by attacking this head-on.

Does this suck? Yes.

Am I happy about it? Obviously not.

Does it change my opinion about Beth’s return? Not in the slightest.

And in all seriousness, I’m not trying to make light of this. I totally understand how everyone is feeling right now and I feel the same. But if you’re doubting or losing hope, please keep reading. I really think the things I have to say after talking to people in the fandom literally all day yesterday will make you feel better.

So I’m going to talk about some things that are suspicious to me about this, and also about some reasons why, even if it’s exactly what it looks like, we don’t really need to worry. I’m also gonna give you a possible way this could actually be okay, but I’ll warn you that scenario is mostly head canon and not super likely to be the case.

Context

The first thing I’m going to point out is that we really, REALLY do not have the full context for this episode. CSAT are big, but there’s a lot we don’t know about what’s going on here. I have a thousand questions and we can’t really be sure of anything until we know the answers. Which we won’t until we see the episode.

And I don’t mean things that make me doubt CSAT are true. I mean like, what is Leah doing out there? Why did no one else ever meet her? Why did she disappear? Did she go on her own because she’s a jerk, or was she taken? Is the CRM involved? We simply don’t know.

These are just a few, and the answers might profoundly effect the way we view these events. So, I’m just saying there’s a lot we can’t be sure of and we should be taking these with a grain of salt. I’ll come back to these questions in a minute. 

The Psychology

So, my first reaction to this was that it’s not entirely unrealistic. Is it out of character? Yes, for sure. They’ve pegged Daryl as a character who wouldn’t do something like this, so it’s definitely out of character for him. I’m totally with ya on that. But I also feel like this isn’t a real relationship for him. What I mean is, it might be something of a rebound or an act of desperation on his part.

Think about what we know about this part of his life. He’s just lost Rick and is devastated. According to these same CSAT, Carol abandons him. AGAIN. I think he’s feeling very depressed and lonely and would reach out to just about anyone at this point. It doesn’t mean he’s in love with her. And yes, I know about the note he wrote to her, but I still think that can be explained by his state of mind. If he’s not feeling like he belongs anywhere else, and Carol has specifically told him she’s not coming back, why wouldn’t he go with someone who’s promising him companionship? I don’t like it, and I know it’s not what everyone wants to hear, but I do understand it.

I promise I’ll move onto happier things. Like this:

Patterns:

We’ve seen this pattern with A LOT of the TWD couples. They put one or both of them together with a small, short-term love interest. And that always happens RIGHT BEFORE they hook up with their soul mate. So, let’s review, shall we?

Carol had Tobin, and right after she left him, she met Ezekiel. Rick kissed Jessi, and only a month after she died, he and Michonne finally got together. Enid was with Ron when we first met her, but it was obvious Carl was meant to be her true love. You could even point to Abraham and Rosita. Their relationship was a bit longer and more established than these others, but the fact is Rosita wasn’t Abe’s soul mate. Sasha was. And now Rosita is with Gabriel, so…

My point is that Leah may be Daryl’s Jessie. Or Tobin. Take your pick. But the pattern is that this will be short term and he should be finding his true soul mate VERY soon after. Just saying.

Is This a Healthy Relationship?

Someone in my group pointed this out. CSAT says she asks him to choose between her and the rest of his life. I didn’t think much about that until one of my FB groupies pointed it out, but it’s really not cool to do that to him. It’s almost passive-aggressive. The way I see it, when you fall in love with someone, you want to get to know their family and participate in every part of their lives. If this was a true, committed relationship, she would WANT to go to Alexandria and meet his friends. She would WANT to help him in his search for Rick’s body. But that doesn’t seem to be the case.

So, in terms of how Daryl feels about her, well, loneliness is a different feeling than real love, and I’m not sure this is the healthiest relationship for Daryl to be in.

Scope, or Lack Thereof

The thing that I think most of the fandom is on the same page about is how out of character this is for Daryl. How out of left field this feels.

I’m mean, this is Daryl. Daryl Freaking Dixon. The writers know about the shipping wars. They know that no matter who they pair him up with—Carol, Connie, Beth, Leah, someone else—it’s going to be a huge deal. For them to do it like this just doesn’t make sense.

Now, I don’t think we have a definite timeline on this. We have two possibilities.

1)     I’ve seen some people say he’s sleeping with a complete stranger, which is very out of character for him.

2)     I’ve also seen posts that claim the two of them meet and develop a relationship over time. That would be less out of character, but it would also mean that the writers developed an entire relationship for Daryl in only one episode…and then took it away.

Does that seem logical to you? I just don’t buy it.

So, at the very least, if this turns out to be what it looks like on the surface—a real romantic relationship for him—I’m gonna say it’s not going to be a big one. It’s not going to be end-all, be-all of Daryl’s love life.

My Praying-This-Headcanon-Is-True-While-Also-Trying-Not-To-Get-My-Hopes-Up-That-It-Is Theory

All right, everyone. I honestly wasn’t sure I should even include this. I don’t want to get people’s hopes up about it. But the more I think about it, the more I think it’s a distinct possibility. 

So, @wdway said this first, and I kind of just glazed over it like, “Meh, probably not.” But the more I thought about it, and the more I talked to people and hashed things out, the more sense it made.

Let me go back to some of those questions I asked at the beginning. Why did no one else ever meet Leah when he was in a relationship with her? Yes, because they were out in the woods together, but it talks about him going to see Carol and going to Alexandria and looking for Rick, which is why she asks him to choose in the first place.

But if you have a sustained relationship with someone, why wouldn’t you introduce them to your friends? Why wouldn’t he have taken her to Alexandria with him? It’s really odd to me that this happened at a time when Daryl was completely on his own out in the woods and NO ONE in his life ever saw or met her.

(Once again, I have to point out that with how vague CSAT are, we can’t know for sure that no one else knew about her. Maybe when we watch the episode, it will show that someone did, but this is the vibe I’m getting right now.)

What else do we know about this point in his life? He’s deep in the throes of his grief over Rick, he’s withdrawn to his robotic, survival mode, which he always does when he’s lost someone close to him, Carol has just abandoned him, and he’s lonely. People who spend too much time alone DO tend to go a little crazy.

So, here it is:

Is there any chance this Leah woman…could be a hallucination?

Honestly guys, that makes WAY more sense to me than that she’s real. Because everyone in the fandom who’s saying this is out of character for Daryl is 100% right. Everyone who’s asking why the writers would do this is 100% right to be asking that question.

And let me tell you, it’s not just us asking it. The entire fandom is. Obviously, all the shippers. And while I’m sure there are some in the non-shipping fans who are glad Daryl is getting a love interest, even they think it’s a little weird. Cuz, you know, it is.

But this show regularly does hallucination story arcs, and Daryl himself even has a history of it. I’m just saying.

People have also suggested that it would sort of makes sense given what I said above about the “unhealthiness” of their relationship. Maybe her wanting him to choose was really more about his sanity and leaving the delusion behind. Again, just a thought.

Then there’s the suspicious timing of CSAT.

Suspicious Release of CSAT and Hype

While messaging with @monroelibrarian0626, she said something I hadn’t thought of that made a lot of sense. Does anyone else find it suspicious that they said we wouldn’t be getting screeners for several weeks and then literally two days later all these spoilers about Daryl’s sex life drop?

It’s not rocket science to know that tptb intentionally leaked these to drum up viewership. Everyone is totally going to watch to see what this is all about. But it also seems to me that they may be releasing just enough information to get everyone all hyped up and then it won’t end up being what it seems. Here, I’ll just give you part of my text message with her because she explains this point better than I do.

But yeah, I get that impression that she's not real, and that's really good promotion and hype for the producers to draw in more viewers. Don't miss it! Daryl is gonna have sex! And then, boom! You find out it's a hallucination. I remember with LOST, there was a preview for next week's show, and in it, the Korean guy, Jin, was shown saying, "It's going to be alright." And he didn't speak English then, in season 2, so it was like, OH MY GOD! And here, when the episode aired, Jin speaking English was part of Hurley's hallucination. Could be along the same lines! --@monroelibrarian0626

Doesn’t that just make a certain amount of sense? Especially given how out of character this feels for Daryl? No matter what you think of the writers on this show, they just really don’t betray the way they’ve set up their characters like this.

Now, once again, I’m really not hanging all my hopes on this. I’m preparing myself for the outcome of her being real and this being a real relationship for Daryl. Mostly because I don’t want to get my hopes too high. And I would suggest you all make your peace with that being the case. I’m just throwing this out there as a possibility. Even TD aside, given how out of character this feels, it would make more sense to me than that they’ve actually put him in this relationship.

It could also that once we actually see the entire episode, depending on what the other details of the story line are, it might be really obvious that she’s real and the detail will explain a lot of this away. That’s a real possibility. Once we learn about other parts of the episode, everything I’ve said here could easily go straight down the toilet.

Another outcome is that she could be a hallucination, but we won’t even know it because Daryl doesn’t. If he doesn’t realize she wasn’t real, the viewers might not be told that, either.

Other Things I’m Side-Eyeing

Check out this tweet, specifically the emojis he uses. Don’t you find those suspicious? Fish? A violin? A sunrise? Boat? Hourglass? Now, this guy got a screener. He’s not one of the writers or someone close to the show who would know the overarching grand plan, so I’m not suggesting he has some inside knowledge of Beth’s return.

But why would he use these emojis? There’s no reason for him to tie them to Leah. The only answer there can be is that he saw these things in the episode. He simply added them to the tweet as hints of what we can expect. And if all those symbols are represented in the episode, this is going to be a super heavy Beth-symbolism episode.

Not to mention, have you checked out Leah’s costuming in detail? Her boots are damn close to what Beth’s looked like. And sitting on the porch, the bag on her back looks a LOT like the one Beth carried in Still. 

I feel like she’s a Beth stand-in. And I think that will be true whether she’s real or not. Again, if we go with the Tobin/Jessi/Ron pattern, she’ll be a forerunner of Beth, so having Beth symbolism around her isn’t surprising.

But once again, this isn’t something we need to worry about.

And don’t even get me started on the damn cabin motif. I’ve been thinking about this since I did my 5x09/Tyreese post last week. I’m not going to go into details here because I don’t even have it all straight in my head yet, but it has some interesting ramifications for this Daryl/Leah situation.

So, pretty much everything that everyone is saying (including me) is pure conjecture until we actually see the episode. I know that’s probably not very helpful, but it’s the truth.

So, what’s my main point about this? It’s this:

I hope she’s a hallucination, but even if she’s not, it doesn’t bother me overly much. I mean, of course I’m bothered because I don’t like to see him in a relationship with her, but I mean I’m not bothered where Beth is concerned. It doesn’t change the fact that I think she’ll still be back, and this will just be a blip of some kind in Daryl’s story. And if she’s real, and it’s following the Tobin/Jessie/Ron pattern, Beth (his true soulmate) should be surfacing VERY soon thereafter.

So, we basically don’t know anything until we do, and I know the fandom is collectively losing its mind. I know this is going to be hard to get used to. But try to make your peace with it, in all its possible iterations. Try not to let it freak you out. Hold the line, TDers. Hold the line!

[msindrad]

an insanely long crazy-ass post about the dollars trilogy, I’m so sorry y’all

I FOUND THIS POST. I DID IT. I FOUND IT. JESUS. I spent the entirety of my yesterday searching for it.

I’m going to tag everybody who participated in this discussion and whose posts I‘ve found while searching for this discussion on the off-chance that they still might be interested in, yeah, discussing these films.

@clinteastwood-blog @geekboots-blog @istadris @sybilius @bleak-nomads @thenotsobad-thebad-andtheugly @bloncos @mcicioni-blog @unrealthings @stephantom @colonelmortimer

Also, please feel free to ignore me and my analytical outburst if you don’t feel like talking about the films or talking about them with my crazy hyperfixated ass specifically, lol. I didn’t mean to be rude by calling you out of nowhere, it’s just that sometimes people get excited when there is an enthusiastic newbie in the fandom and gladly return to their beloved canons.

Anyway. The dollars trilogy.

I’ll start with The Good, the Band and the Ugly (and will probably make myself instantly unlikable by nitpicking things, (sigh)).

As stupid as it might sound – the film being an absolute masterpiece, a cultural milestone that is timeless, epic, work of genius, love it, will write and draw about it with pleasure etc. – I’m kind of inclined to find the GBU the weakest film in the trilogy storywise. Don’t get me wrong: the plot is interesting and strong, every scene is entertaining, smart, and instantly quotable… But.

There are a few things that make the story, taken holistically, weak to a degree, especially in contrast to the other two films. Now, let me explain my bold-ass claim.

The first reason I couldn’t even pinpoint for myself until my best friend asked me: yeah, it’s all cool and fun, but what has really changed at the end of the film? They stopped the battle/blew up the bridge (kudos for the pacifist message), they killed a few folks on the way including Angel Eyes, but what did the story amount to in the end? Was their relationship changed? Have they themselves learned something about life, universe and everything? Tuco is still on the rope, Blondie still shoots the rope. They both got their money, split it 50/50. Sure, now it’s an insane amount of money but will it make them reconsider their ways of life? I don’t know, and I don’t necessarily think so. They’re really back to square one. If you consider the graphic novel The Man With No Name canon, then (spoiler) Blondie gives his money away to help rebuild the monastery of Tuco’s brother, and Tuco himself doesn’t really invest his share in anything other than booze, and sex, and troubles, so. Then, Angel Eyes got killed off, but he had even less backstory/character arc than, for instance, Captain Clinton, not to mention that his image, as memorable as it was, kind of lacked certain complexity, so, does it really matter storywise (although he is a great, stylish character, but I hope that you get what I mean)? (Note: Angel Eyes should have been the film’s ultimate personification of the war (inhumanely ruthless, only interested in money, extremely goal-oriented etc.), which, the war, kind of is the main antagonist of the film if you think about it; but the way he was used in the plot, the way he acted, and was generally presented, communicated it only in a limited way, imo).

Everything about the adventure was fun, smart, entertaining, one of the best films ever made, I agree 100%, and I rewatched it with pleasure many times. But I believe that stories have to bring about some palpable change in their world in order for them to be successful and finished. The GBU, in my opinion, doesn’t do it because it doesn’t want to be a story-story, and it’s fine with just letting its characters exist in a magic Western/a cowboy fantasy/a fairy tale. And I guess it’s also one of the reasons why the story didn’t go anywhere from the GBU – there is nothing to add to a basis like that. And I can’t help noting that it’s super ironic that the only film in the trilogy that truly seems to be all about money-money-money has no “dollars” in its title.

Another thing that I think is super important: there is almost no female energy or presence in the film. And it’s not even a matter of representation that bugs me, although I think it’s very important. It just feels like there is a deficit of something vital that renders everything even sort of unrealistic. In AFOD we have Marisol and we have Consuelo Baxter, and they’re relevant for the plot, and they have goals, motivations… lines. In FAFDM we have Mary, who has only a few brief moments, but she’s memorable, endearing, and she has a small story/motivation of her own, and we also have Mortimer’s sister, who is EXTREMELY important, and who also isn’t just symbolic, she herself makes a plot-relevant decision on screen, although a really horrible one from my personal moral standpoint. In the GBU we have what? A prostitute that’s beaten up by Angel Eyes (I never watch this scene), another woman at the hotel where Blondie stays in that is shut up and called an old hag or something like it, and another woman that makes a comment about Tuco’s hanging. None of them are memorable or have motivations on their own, and to me it makes the film lacking some really important counterpoint in terms of dynamics etc.

And nobody needs me to describe all the things that the film is awesome at because everybody knows that the film is one of the best films ever made, so painfully gorgeous that it’s difficult to praise it. So, I’ll move on to the other two films but will briefly talk about Tuco and Eli Wallach.

Eli Wallach is considered one of the best actors ever to appear on film for reason, so, I’ll just say about my personal impressions from his performance: he really made me emphasize with Tuco. His acting is incredibly rich, nuanced, concentrated, and, imo, just leaves you no choice but to think of Tuco as a real complex human being, not a film character. And Tuco is a superb character. Over the course of the story he gets to be loathsome, humane, funny, silly, terrifying, and cunning, - often all those at the same time. That’s one hell of a captivating character who’s just very, very interesting to watch and to analyze, regardless whether you like him or not.

Then, we have A Fistful of Dollars. I’m a huge fan of classic adventure stories that are gen, plot-driven, and have smart main characters figuring out a way to get what they want without being destroyed by other characters for wanting or trying to get it in the first place. I think it’s very difficult and very rewarding to write a good story in this genre. AFOD is exactly this kind of story, and this kind of stories is only as good as their protagonists’ maneuvers are. And Joe is, like, a tactical genius (the barrel! the fire!). And it’s much better to rewatch the film to remind yourself of how smart he is than have me talking about it, so.

But apart from that he is also humanized by his deeply personal motivations that appear completely irrational especially in contrast to his clever manipulations of the Baxters and the Rojos. And he doesn’t do it egotistically, to “get the girl,” which wouldn’t make him particularly sympathetic one way or another. Sure, he makes a good buck at the end, but his primary motivation still is justice for Marisol and her family (and then protection of his friend). Additionally, Joe gets his fair share of punishment for providing said justice, which further humanizes him and kind of makes you worry about him. And Silvanito with his scolding, humor, and skepticism helps with it a lot, too.

And then, there is the fact that the film wants the audience to either want to be Joe or want to be with him, sometimes both at the same time. Everybody on screen is a single Joe’s wink away from swooning because how he practically oozes charisma (only Silvanito is immune to his charms). I can’t blame them, though.

And I also want to point out the last lines of the film: Joe says that he doesn’t want to get involved into politics because that would be too much for him, and I think that it’s very fitting. The film just showed how cool he is, but he knows his limits, and he knows that he operates on a different plane.

So, all in all, it’s a masterfully done story.

Finally, we have For a Few Dollars more. I love all three films, but FAFDM is my favorite, there’s no doubt about that. I’ll start with the fact that it’s perfectly structured and perfectly balanced. We have three big players, Mortimer, Manco, and Indio, and the film shows how dangerous and how smart each of them is, so that the conflict between them ends up being very, very suspenseful. Not to mention the fact that it takes Manco and Mortimer almost 40 minutes, I think, to finally properly meet – by that time we are already speculating who will be the winner in the end, how will they react to each other, how will they interact, how will they work together etc. We get to know them quite well first, and then their relationship allows us to explore their characters even deeper through their interactions, their differences, and their similarities. For some time, storywise they become a single unit. While the story of Indio’s assault on Mortimer’s sister is revealed parallel to the plot.  

Indio himself is terrifying as hell without being cartoonish. He is a really dangerous, broken man that is also methodical, smart, and ruthless. He is so bad that he kills the opponent’s family just to make him bitter enough to draw on him. And he is so bad that he is okay with killing off his own gang.  

Speaking of which, Indio’s gang is colorful. He has interesting interactions with them at the beginning, in that church. And Klaus Kinski made his Wild stand out to me. I swear, the moment he almost cries in that saloon when Mortimer takes away his cigar, I feel bad for him every single time. And when he recognized Mortimer, it was tense. He even had a cool witty one-liner after Mortimer said that he should come to him in ten minutes to help him light that match and smoke: “In ten minutes, you’ll be smoking in hell!”

By the way, Indio’s tendency to get unnecessarily physical with his gang looks even more unnerving when he touches Manco to check his wound/shares a smoke him with some clearly visible eroticized subtext, which gets even creepier when you realize that he is a rapist. I swear, I was worried about Mortimer when I saw the film for the second time – that is even though I knew the plot – because Manco brought up that family resemblance between Mortimer and his sister, and we all know what Indio did to her.

What else? I could bring up all sorts of things, the action, the final duel, the small smart details that allow the plot to happen the way it happens (e.g. how Manco manages to hide the bag with all the money on that tree before Indio’s gang capture him and Mortimer – only to re-collect that bag at the end of the film), the humor, the street kids and all the other cool-cool secondary characters (Joseph Egger’s informer probably is my favorite), the opening sequence and the title card (oops, already rambled about this one) really, anything and everything including the perfect chemistry between Manco and Mortimer.

But I’ll just say that the music in this film is special to me. Every single composition by Ennio Morricone is special, unique, memorable, and intriguing, it’s true, and so it feels redundant and banal to say something like this. The Ecstasy of Gold is almost extraterrestrial, the main theme of Two Mules For Sister Sara imitates actual mule sounds, how genius is that, etc., and you must be dead to not be enticed and mesmerized beyond words by the main theme of the GBU, which is a hymn of all spaghetti Westerns now, a universal call for adventure (I feel like a bad person saying this, but I’ve always wanted to joke that Ennio put sexy back into the “waah-waah”… no, I regret nothing).

BUT. To me personally, the music in FAFDM is as personal as the film itself, and dare I say even more important to the story than in the GBU, despite the theme of the GBU being a kind of Greek choir throughout the film. The personalized sounds for Manco and Mortimer accentuate their personalities to the point where they almost create a reflex in you. The pocket watch chime is literally part of the story and plays a huge, crucial role in the plot! And it’s decidedly one of the saddest musical scores I’ve ever heard. It’s minimalist, mournful, and yet also nostalgically bittersweet. It feels like a reminder that there’s no going back whatever that might mean in the actuality. And the famous moment where Manco asks Mortimer whether his question was indiscreet and Mortimer says that the answer could be… I feel personally touched whenever I watch the scene. For me, it doesn’t feel like just an amazing scene, it triggers some deep emotion that is hard to express and almost gives me the urge to cry. Something along the lines of respectful and compassionate “I’m sorry that it happened to you,” “I’m sorry that I can’t help you.” The feeling of personal tragedy is conveyed infinitely better than a three-volume backstory ever could.

And then, there is this huge potential for all the stories about Manco, and Mortimer, and Blondie, and Tuco, and Angel Eyes, and even Joe to explore... Well, I better stop here.

So, yeah. It turned out to be a crazy long post, and I‘m grateful to anybody who reads it till the end. And if you haven’t watched these movies please do. Cheers.

[queenlists]

A Year of Tate

A/N: We’re at 92! Thank you to everyone for the support, I really appreciate it! Almost to 100, I love it! I love you all. I can’t thank you enough.WARNING: abuse, character deaths, suicide, and murder. The normal AHS warnings. Also, this is a long fic! The masterlist will be located at the bottom in case you would like to check out more of my work! I hope you all enjoy this fic ✌

Post Date: 1/24/2020

JANUARY

He was different. Not in the quirky teenage boy kind of different, but he was a real ticking time bomb. He said things that I should have taken much more seriously, but I didn't. I never did. I always thought Tate Langdon wouldn't do that. He could never. He means well! I defended Tate with every bone in my body. I even defended him when my parents tried having me steer clear of him. He said he wanted to do two things: teach the school a lesson they'd remember and make a statement that'd shake the town or maybe even the country. I rooted for him, thinking it'd be something crazy. Something wild, but I never thought it would be this. My Tate? The boy I stole many kisses from. The boy who surprised me with my favorite snacks. The boy who told me he loved me every second of the day. I couldn't believe it. I still can't. Helping Constance move out of that evil house after Tate's funeral while Addie ran around the house was the least I could do for the Langdons. She allowed me to keep one thing of his, so I kept his sweater. I put it on as soon as I grabbed it. It still smelled just like him. I knew she was having a hard time living without him as well as she knew I was dying without him. Putting down a box, I sighed and looked at Constance. Even in grief, she held her head high and walked in strides. Constance turned to me with a small smile spread across her face, wrapping me up into a tight hug before putting her warm hands on my face, staring into my eyes with a smile "You're a good girl, (Y/n). You always have been!" This was one of the only times I could say I saw the mother in Constance.

We were ready to leave the house when all of a sudden Addie came running to me with the biggest smile on her face "Tate's here!" Sighing, I let her take my hand and lead me to wherever. Figuring that Addie was coping by playing pretend because there was no chance that Tate would be here, I willingly followed. However, much to my surprise, he was here. He was actually here! He stood there with that same goofy smile plastered on his face. His eyes lit up as they got familiar with me once again. My heart sank to my feet as I began to back away from the man I once loved. Holding onto Addie's hand tightly, telling myself that I'm crazy and that I am so sad that I must be making up images of Tate. His smile faded as his eyes began to water and redden before squeaking out "(Y/n)?"

I was gasping for air at this point. There was no way he could be here right now! I can still hear those heavy boots padding the floor. I can still see those heavy guns rushing to Tate's room. I can still feel them rip me away from Tate and take me out of his room. I can still hear those deafening gunshots. I can still taste my salty tears. I can still see the blood splatter that remained in his room before the cleaners made it. I remembered his death so well. Constance was moving houses. We were just at his funeral days prior. So, how is he was here perfectly the way he was before?

FEBRUARY 

"Never leave me," He whispered in my ear. His grip on me was tighter than it had ever been. "You can never leave me. You will never escape me," he muttered with a wicked grin before giving me a quick kiss on the nose. He's always had a weird way with words, but something told me he meant exactly what he said and meant it exactly how it was said. It's been a month since we reunited and he was different. His possessive words used to send butterflies to flutter around in my stomach, but now all they do is send chills up my spine. "Promise me right now that you're mine forever," he gripped my face in his hands as his eyes burned into mine. He began to uncomfortably squish my face in his hands as he shook my head "Promise me!" The tone in his voice startled me as I quickly nodded "I-I promise. I promise that I'll never leave you. I'm yours!" I gasped out, cocking an eyebrow at my dead boyfriend who laid down on his back pleased with my answer. I bit my lip as he stared up at the ceiling. He came back different. Very different.

MARCH

I drummed my fingers against the cardboard box as I tried to breathe. Sniffling as tears ran down my face, I've been pacing in this gas station bathroom for thirty minutes now. "Just use it, (Y/n)! There are only two possibilities: you're either pregnant or you're not," I muttered to myself in hopes of gaining some courage to take this test.

Finally, I was able to. I set the test down, refusing to look at it. I didn't want to know yet. I wasn't ready. I examined myself in the mirror. Who am I anymore? My face was blotchy and my eyes were reddened from the constant tears. My lip was busted along with bruises peppered up and down my arms. I pulled down my sleeves as I ripped my eyes away from the harsh reality. Tate Langdon has always been the same kind of person. Unstable and unpredictable. This time, he had nothing to lose. The nothing to lose part only made him even more dangerous and wicked. I was scared to leave him in fear of what he might do, but also I just couldn't bring myself to leave him as I loved him too much. Even if he hurt me.

Constance knew just what her son was capable of. She warned me to leave Tate. Hell, she warned me to leave Tate before his death! She knew who her son was. She tried. She tried and I thought she was the most cold-hearted person there was, but she was right. I should have left, but she knew just as well as I did that I couldn't bring myself to leave Tate. Addie never bothered to come over anymore once she saw what her big brother had done. "He hurt you! I'll never forgive him!" I remember her yelling as she ran home. I watched her leave, wishing I could do the same. Toss Tate to the side and move on, but I couldn't. I glanced at the test: positive. I slid to the floor, sobbing. He was always right there. Right here. Inside of my heart and now a part of him lived inside of me.

Coming home, I saw Tate waiting for me. Glaring at me from the window. Hatred and disgust burned in his eyes as he watched me stop walking and stand there on the sidewalk, looking at him. That look used to be foreign to me. Before his death, I only got smiles from Tate. His eyes used to light up at the very sight of me, but now..now that was history. That look of disgust and hate was the new norm. I remember when he first looked at me that way.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I sniffled, wiping away the tears that fell during our fourth huge argument of the week. "You make me sick. I should've shot you when I had the chance!" Tate spat at me, shoving me away from him before storming out of the room.

Oh, how I wish he would have. We locked eyes for a few moments before he turned around, vanishing from the window. He didn't deserve to be a father. He didn't deserve anything good in life. I had to do right by my baby. I had to leave for good.

APRIL

I ran.

I ran as fast as I could.

I ran as I heard his voice rattle that old house to its core.

"Come back, you're all I have!"

Even after I turned the corner, I still ran.

I knew I was well out of his reach, but I kept running until I felt that I was safe.

I loved him.

I loved him so much that it hurt.

I loved him with every fiber of my body.

With every inch of my soul.

But, Tate Langdon was, is, and always will be bad news.

I should've known it sooner.

Why'd I ignore the signs?

No one comes back from the dead the same!

I should've left.

I should've left when Constance first told me to.

I should've left with Addie.

I should've left when he first hit me.

But, I didn't.

Now, I have to.

For you. 

"Bus 6290 arrived! If you are on bus 6290, please head towards the terminal with your ticket ready!"

I smiled at the sound of the staticky voice blaring through the speakers as I tried to catch my breath. Running a hand down to my stomach, I nodded "We made it!"

MAY

Settling into a new house can be rough alone especially when it's a new house in a new city in a new state!

The murder house was loud. Laying in bed, I could hear everything minus Tate screaming at me. I could hear everyone. It was so crowded and so loud day in and day out, but here it was quiet. It was just my baby and I. It was a relief. For once in months, I've had some relief.

I found a doctor here. Apparently, I've been pregnant since February! This baby is going to be born sometime in October. October was the month Tate and I made our relationship official. I remember telling Constance and Addie like it was yesterday:

"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I told you mom, Tate and (Y/n) are in love!" Addie exclaimed, looking at Constance with a smug smile on her face. "Yes, I know. You were right. I just didn't think Tate would stoop so low," Constance rolled her eyes and took a long drag of her cigarette. "Why are you such a bitch, Constance?" Tate spat, shaking his head. "Oh please!" Constance scoffed. "You're so unbearable! Let's get out of here, (Y/n)" Tate grabbed my arm, leading me out of the house as Addie followed us. As Tate practically dragged me out of the house, Constance locked eyes with me as her eyes began to redden before she looked away with her head low.

I always took Constance's expression as she felt bad for ruining the announcement, but now I knew better. She was upset that I got wrapped up in the grasp of her beloved son.

JUNE, JULY, AUGUST, SEPTEMBER

Not much has happened these past few months. I got a job, fixed up a nursery, got the hang of keeping up with a house and bills.  I made myself and my son a home here. Now all there was left to do was wait until his arrival.

As I relaxed on the couch, my phone began to buzz beside me. Picking it up, I instantly began to smile "Hey Addie! How are you?" "Oh, I'm great. How about you? How's my nephew in there?" Addie and I talk every single day. We have for the past few months now. She cheered when I told her I left the state, telling me it was about time. She kept me up to date on everything including the family that moved into the murder house. The Harmons. Apparently, the daughter of the Harmons, Violet, is heavily involved with Tate. Addie told me that she went over there to warn Violet, but it was too late. She was wrapped up in Tate just like I was. 

"Would it be awful of me to admit that I'm jealous and that I miss Tate?" I muted the phone, facepalming hard as I realized I said my thoughts out loud. "You don't miss Tate. Not this Tate. You miss the old Tate," Addie explained, sighing at the end. She was right. I missed our memories. The laughter, jokes, music, dancing, and extreme puppy love. I don't miss the yelling, the dirty looks, the hitting, and the arguments. She gets to have those now. She can have them forever.

OCTOBER

I've had pains for a while now, but I've been pushing through. The pains aren't enough to set off any alarms in my doctor's head. They're normal at this point. Braxton Hicks are what they're called. Since everything checked out, I was given the go-ahead! This pregnancy had been easy so far. He is a quiet boy and I love that.

"Now, you should not be traveling at this point!" Constance declared through the phone. "We can come to you instead!" I smiled as I rolled my suitcase towards her house, unknowingly. "Too bad because I'm already here!" I laughed as I heard shuffling before the door swung open.

Constance didn't hesitate to hug onto me tightly with Addie joining in seconds later. I decided I've gone through this alone long enough and I was ready to have a family nearby when he decided to make his arrival.

-------

"I want to be a pretty girl, mom!" "No!" They were at it for so long now. I tried to intervene, but I thought it wasn't worth it. I've witnessed them go at it many times before. I didn't think this fight meant any real significance. I thought this would be forgotten in a day's time, but I was wrong.

I was so wrong.

Screaming, I watched as Constance began to drag Addie's lifeless body to that wicked house. "Constance, no! You know she would hate you for this. You know she would hate it there!" I knelt down beside Constance and pulled her hands away from Addie "She would be so unhappy, Constance. Let her go!" I sobbed before holding onto Constance. I should've done more. My vision blurred with tears as I looked over at Addie. My best friend was gone. I held onto my stomach as the Braxton Hicks began to intensify. Before I knew it, I was hunched over gasping for air as sweat dripped down my face. A paramedic grabbed me before I could hit the ground. I could hear Constance crying out, but my vision began to double as everything spun.

The world began to turn black as I frantically looked around. Through the swirls and distortion, I saw him. Tate. Just standing there, looking at me. He wasn't looking at me from inside of the house nor was he on the lawn. He was across the street, perfectly blending in with the rest of the gasping bystanders. He watched me with intensity. What the hell is going on?

---------

There was so much going on. I knew I was screaming, but I couldn't hear it. There was blood everywhere. I wanted to faint. I felt like fainting. Sweat dripped down my face as the nurse held my hand tightly. "What's happening" I manage to scream loud enough that I could hear myself. "You're having your son!" The nurse exclaimed, gently dragging her gloved thumb against my knuckles. Constance had her hands over her cheeks as she watched in amazement. My eyes wandered around the room until they found him. Tate was standing there in the corner of the room. I knit my eyebrows together and squinted at him. His eyes were watery and red-rimmed. His lips were red and swollen. His face was blotchy. Tears slid down his face like a constant running waterfall. He stood behind everyone else and watched the birth of his son. As I laid there, watching the birth of a new Tate Langdon.

NOVEMBER

The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as Constance flipped pancakes "He's a growing boy! He needs his food," Looking at (B/N), I knew he wasn't a normal baby. I'm no expert, but something just isn't right. "He's a month old. I don't think he should be this big," I knit my eyebrows together as I watched my one-month-old son walk towards me. "He's a Langdon! Tate was the same way. They move fast. When is that girl coming over to take my grandson from me?" Constance handed (B/N) a player with pieces of pancake on it which he happily took. "You mean Violet?" I giggled, packing the last of (B/N)'s clothes "She should be over soon. Don't worry, he'll be back in a week. The Harmons are great with him," Constance rolled her eyes as she assisted (B/N) with his feeding.

--------

"It's past dinner time! (B/N) is asleep. That girl is no good! Tell her she can't take my grandson anymore. On Halloween, Tate can come over instead or you two can just communicate on that laptop screen. He is too fragile to be stood up at such an age! I would never trust-" Constance rambled on about how Violet lied and how she deserves another cupcake. Though, I'm not sure what kind of significance a cupcake is to their relationship. I never got cupcakes from Constance. Maybe Violet hates them? I don't know. All I know is that Violet never came and that just was not like her.

------

I refused to go back to that house and I refused to be alone with Tate. Violet knew this, so she agreed to bring (B/N) to Tate and back again. Every other weekend without fail, Violet would be there at the front door with a big smile on her face.

I grabbed my laptop and requested a video call from Violet, but it failed. Something was wrong.

DECEMBER

It's December. I don't ever hear from Violet anymore. The visitations stopped. I see Mr. and Mrs. Harmon in town and they always tell me she's acting weird at home as well. Every bone in my body told me to not do it, but I had to. I had to know what was up.

I stared at that wicked house, sighing before walking up to the door. Before I could open the door, I heard the infinite chatter. It was louder than I remembered. "It's fine. They're just restless right now. I sense more than before," Billie Dean sighed, looking at me. Constance recommended that I go to the house with Billie Dean as she is seen as a friend there. Steadying my breathing and regaining composure, I opened the door slowly. Stepping in, my body froze in place. I couldn't move. I couldn't take a step forward nor could I take a step back. "It's the trauma. You don't have to move any further," Billie rubbed my shoulder gently before proceeding to walk further into the house. "Violet!" Billie called out. Nothing. "Violet?" Billie called out again, this time a wave of concern washed across her face. As if she was hearing something or someone, something or someone that I could not hear. Billie looked at me defeated, whispering "Will you please show yourself?"

Show yourself?

Soon, Violet appeared with tears streaming down her face. Billie wrapped Violet into a hug as Violet began to sob loudly. "How did you pass?" My heart shattered as Violet pulled out her phone, waving me to come closer. There was no way that Violet was dead. No way! I carefully moved closer as we all watched the video.

The Harmons put surveillance cameras in every room including bathrooms after the house was broken into. Just so they could check footage from anywhere whether they were home or not. I watched as Violet took a lethal amount of pills. I watched as she laid down in the bathtub to die. I watched as Tate ran in, screaming and crying. I watched Tate try to make her puke it up. I watched Tate succeed, but it wasn't enough. I watched as Violet went limp in his arms. I watched Tate accept her death and drag her body out of the bathroom. Violet quickly ended the video afterward "I didn't really want to die. I couldn't accept it. My parents don't even know. Don't tell them, please!" Violet begged as she looked back and forth from Billie and I. Agreeing, we wrapped Violet in a big hug.

Losing Violet made me gain trust in Tate. He tried to save her. He tried his hardest. He did everything he could until the very end. Tate hid it from her in fear of what that news could do to her. He only ever blamed himself. Tate really was a new person. Where did all that evil disappear to?

JANUARY

"Constance!" I screamed as I ran, following the blood smears "(B/N)!" My heart sank as I followed the endless trail of blood. My throat ached as I screamed their names, hoping for someone to say something. Hoping for a sound. Hoping for a cry. Hoping for something! I pushed the door open that the blood seemed to lead to, bracing myself for the worst. Constance stood there in her silk robe as (B/N) sat on the floor in a pool of blood, giggling. A pool of blood that belonged to the babysitter I had hired for the night.

"I told you. Langdons don't play well with babysitters."

masterlist

[b-and-willie]

Let’s Try This Again( with the completed post this time) Complications of Loathing What You Need

I know, I disappeared, and most likely will again. Serious interaction on blogs (re mine) seems to be severely lacking so there seems to be very little reason to plug on and share intimate posts publicly.

So why now? Well actually I write this post almost 2 years ago, and life has a funny way of putting us back in places we need to fix over and over again until we get it right. To be frank I highly doubt I could compose a post these days. I'm rusty in so many areas.  Covid life has put a hit on our dynamic yet it shouldn't because we have more time together- too bad our minds seem to have a constant drum in the background that seems to drown out much of our desires at the moment....

Anyway I read in a comment about a month ago something to the affect of " I read blogs sometimes and think of how sad people's lives are".  I am sure the person commenting didn't mean it as a damaging comment.  I want to point out before I continue trying to resurrect my morning's post in my mind again a few things.  I would hope that no one reads my posts and feels sad for me.  I will say that despite the struggles Barney and I have encounter since and even because of starting ttwd,  it has changed me in ways I will never ever be sorry for.  I will admit at times it seems to have caused strife between the two of us, but as I have said before, ttwd is more of a magnifier of issues that already exist more than it is a problem unto itself.  Ttwd has allowed me to unearth myself;my true, authentic self, and even in the future if for some reason we can no longer live this lifestyle that knowledge and feeling will never be taken away.

Yes it has bettered our marriage but often not in ways I read about here and there.  Sure sex is more frequent and more creative.  But honestly that is a byproduct of me being less guarded and allowing intimacy into our lives.  Anyway, that isn't why I wrote this morning.  I wrote this morning because of a few things I was reflecting on in the past 24 hours.

The first being....

Loathing What You Need

Such an ominous title right?  Here's the thing, I do LOATHE what I need.  This isn't a post about questioning my need for submission ( though one might argue it could be one questioning my sanity).  I don't fault anyone out there that is currently questioning their need for submission, I have been there countless times, but thankfully that ship has sailed! One LESS complication in my life.

No I mean I loathe the things I have to do to cultivate and maintain my submissive heartset.  Do I enjoy being spanked? HELL NO!  I mean not even a reset-though slower to start therefore easier to take in the long run it isn't a fun adventure.  Barney has and will employ BDSM tactics(?) to achieve a certain level of resetting as well.  And while I endure and my body often betrays me to indicate I enjoy it, it isn't something I crave. ( Though I am not a huge fan of 'vanilla' sex...I am more referring to the slight torture aspect lol). What I do crave is the power exchange that is created in both of these scenarios.  Do I find it 'yummy' to be told to get on my knees, or kneel- nope.  Do I find it enjoyable to wearing a plug while vacuuming, kneeling on pebbles in a freezing corner, being told to get off the computer, eat this, don't eat that, wear this, phone me if you want to have a drink/buy something/leave the house ...blah, blah, blah....Can't say I do.  No doubt my face generally indicates that as well.  BUT what I do enjoy is the benefits of doing these things- um more than the relief that I might be punished if I don't.  The benefit of, for whatever crazy reason, keeping  me unguarded.  The benefit of being constantly in my husband's 'cross hairs'.  The intimacy that is created because I have submitted to his wants, especially because I don't WANT to do them.

This isn't to say that when life is grand in the Submissive World of Willie, that I can't enjoy some aspects of submissive acts.  Some things, chore lists etc, actually become more meaningful for me.  Some days that meaning might just be that I accomplished them despite myself! lol . It also doesn't mean that I don't anticipate the needs of my husband without prompting as I do enjoy that but to me that isn't submission.

Do I have thoughts during the day like, " Well I wish he'd just ....."  yes, yes I do.  Now how confusing is that? I loath doing it, but please tell me to do it.  (Of course it goes without saying the fact that he SAYS those 'things' need to be done is a large part of the process as well)  Those of you out there that can follow my crazy rant here would probably understand it for what it is.  For me it is the end goal feeling, not the things I need to do to get me there that is the reason for the submissive acts.  I understand that there are subs out there that LOVE and Crave the acts themselves, for what they are. And I am generally a people pleaser so there is that too. But I mean  they love it, and I say "Good on you!"  I think sometimes life would be so much better and easier for Barney if I did just gleefully spring into action EVERY TIME.  I don't.  As Barney said, " You are 100% submissive - 95% of the time". It is the 5% that he tends to see now.

(Here is the don't feel sorry or 'sad' for me portion of the post )

The last month has probably been one of, if not the most difficult months in my entire life.  I know it has been THE most difficult month in the last 21 years.  There are a number of factors which have contributed to this outstanding statement,but in truth the hows or whys really aren't important.  It will be a very long time for some factors to be removed, and IF other factors can be fixed they will take a long while with a lot of work as well.  I am generally not one who can sit by and wait for life to work itself out, or to watch on the sidelines- sadly some of these situations require just that.

The one thing I can actively work on is our relationship.  It has taken a direct hit, and in some ways there was no avoiding it as focus had to be put in other areas emotionally.  However in doing so it created a situation where my submissive self became barricaded deep inside.  The dial was switched to Personal Survivor Mode.  See the big issue there?  PERSONAL....not exactly a great word to use in conjunction with ttwd dynamic.  So locked was this dial on the Personal Survivor Mode station, things Barney used to see as indications that I wasn't where I needed to be became a bone of contention.  Resentment.  The dreaded word of any relationship! Why didn't I JUST DO IT??? Were his thoughts.  It is my need after all why don't I just do it?

I was talking to a dear OLD friend last night.  We  often discuss various things but last night was a different kind of conversation, probably due to sheer emotional exhaustion on both our parts. We started discussing our submission in a way perhaps we haven't in a while.  One thing she mentioned to me in reference to something else was, the fact of how fortunate we were to " have experienced the benefits and beauty of submission".  A light went off in my head this morning thinking of that (yeah I'm a bit slow these days).  That is what has been missing these past few months.  Right before the house of cards started crumbling down around us, we had had a pretty wonderful week.  Unfortunately the pressure one felt coupled with and because of  the fulfillment of the other, seemed to cause issues immediately after said week.  I felt deeply during that week.  I felt free and myself again, even though I did screw up, and question myself as to why.  I felt it.  I felt the benefits and beauty of it.  I was once again A submissive not merely BEING submissive (and that is okay if you identify as the latter- I don't mean to put a public hierarchy on it, I am only referring to my personal feelings of self).

For the last while,and again somewhat due to life circumstances, I haven't felt fulfilled in or with my submission.   This morning I was punished, sigh AGAIN, which you know is part of the deal right? It was physically a challenging punishment to take as I had been severely punished yesterday and that had yet to leave me.  The severity wasn't due to  my act that got me punished but because of my 'act' WHILE being punished.  If you are new here or you know forgot- I tend to be a bit of a hard head which later in the day after my bravado wears off and my butt thaws is NEVER a good thing.  After my punishment I was told to reflect on how I was currently feeling and tell Barney when he asked.

Okay ladies and gents this is generally NOT a good thing for us! LOL.  At least not of late.  Barney should really know by now that he shouldn't ask questions he doesn't really want to hear the answer too! My response was I felt resentful.  I was punished and I deserved to be based on our dynamic.  I am not denying that.  I felt resentful because I feel like maybe he is putting me in a position to force his hand- literally.  He is trying to get us back on track.  He is being consistent with punishments, but for me, the punishment is a result of something else not working, or being acknowledged.  Please don't take this for me BLAMING Barney for my actions....though I suppose it does sound like that doesn't it? These are actually  his words from the not so distant past.  These punishments are isolated incidents.  Without his active dominance after, there is a void.

I never tested Barney when we started ttwd.  I know I have mentioned that countless times.  I am no saint.  I just didn't do it because he said if he ever thought I was testing him, he would end our dynamic.  I guess that stuck with me.  Have I 'poked the bear'?  Yup.  And as I have also said, I didn't test him because I was afraid that he would 'fail' and then where would I be?  In addition to that, for years I loved just doing what was required of me.  That along with self analysis was enough to help me discover who I was deep down.  But as life changes, and discoveries are made complications arise.  We are all organic in nature as are our relationships.  Those who choose not to continually adapt may eventually fail.  ( If you are married to a pain in the butt like me )

In the past, though not often with a grand amount of consistency, red flags would go up if I was being punished.  Honestly I am an emotional creature (shut it) and punishments often are not a deterrent for me.  What I mean to say is 'in the moment' I tend to forget that my butt is going to fry, or I will be unplugged (electronically) because of my words or actions.  Naturally over time Barney began to see punishments as being a failure on his part because to him I am not fearful of them (ask me right before on day two and see how NOT fearful I am of them).  I now fear the red flags are not being seen, just the red ass.  The building on dominance from the ultimate dominant situation, has been missing. (Save today, but I had already started to write, so just go with me on this one).

As I stated earlier, when situations arise and we find ourselves where we currently are, I tend to see things as isolated events.  One event not really connecting to another.  Barney tends to fixate on one 'type' of dominance during these times.  For example punishments and reactions. However, when things are running as smoothly as they can here

(pretty much as smoothly as this)

Barney can multitask in his domination.  Though punishments are rare in that 'euphoric' state...lol

Here's the thing....there are so many conflicting messages being transmitted out by me...even 5 years in.  

I need this, but I hate aspects of  it

I want you to make me, but I don't want to do it...but I will because I want to.

Make it your own, but don't forget how it affects me

Consistency with punishment is required for effective results- but it isn't all about reacting and punishments

Cultivate but ....

And when we are in a good place, these messages don't seem to be so loud, but when we go off course, everything seems to cause hurt, frustration, and the world's worst secondary emotion- anger!

All of these things of course can be talked about.  The issue really becomes not only putting it into practice, but a practice that BOTH can see.

The issue with 'falling off of the wagon' is the interpretation of the past.  What if one is clinging to the successes while one is clinging to the failures?  What if the one clinging to the successes is also affected deeply by the failures, and is holding back moving forward because of it, yet indicates that the other SHOULD just push through?

YUP....clear as mud.

We are fine (yes the dreaded word).  Barney is holding true to what he currently can.  To be honest it is me.  I am the issue.  I can go on and on as to the whys I believe I am the hold out but I'm not entirely sure that would be helpful.  After all it would only be my interpretation of events.  So the whys to me (for once in my life) aren't as important.  I have to just put one foot in front of the other and follow along- doing the best that I personally can.  But there is the issue, can/ want/ need....sigh what if some of it I loathe and after so long of not believing it mattered if I did or didn't-( you know "If a tree falls in a forest..." )how do I convince myself I should; that it will matter? At the very least to me once again?

[naivesilver]

31, 56, 19, 78, 20, 16, 11, 12 , 10, 4, 1, 21, 36, 39. Sorry if this is too many 😅

Guys it’s NEVER too many you’re giving me the chance to talk nonstop about Sonic it’s the best thing that’s happened to me in days

also I had planned to answer them in the order you asked for but it was driving me crazy so I sorted them out thematically sorry alfhjkhljshja

I answered 1 here!

100 Sonic Questions

21.) Tell us a funny Sonic-related story.

This one comes from the depths of my very first months as a Sonic fan. Basically, I had watched Sonic X upon its first Italian release as a very very smol bean. By the time I got obsessed again in middle school, though, I had forgotten everything about it except a few shots from the Italian opening theme and ONE scene from a season three episode, where Sonic and Knuckles played chess on a spaceship and then Sonic began running around and fell into space.

The “friend” that had introduced me to the show again (not a nice person and source of about 25% of my trauma, I’m glad to say I haven’t seen her in years) didn’t believe me and accused me of lying. Repeatedly. Unkindly. For months. How could such a stupid scene be in such an amazing cartoon? I must be trying to fuck with her.

Fast forward to the end of the year. I’m minding my business and I see a Facebook message from this friend, and another, and another. I click on it wondering what she’d be going ham over, and BAM. This girl had been watching Sonic AMVs on Youtube and had caught a glimpse of that scene at the beginning of a video and was fucking losing it over the fact that WOW, I HAD BEEN TELLING THE TRUTH ALL ALONG?!

Now, you have to understand that I wasn’t the kind of kid that swore, back then. I had been brought up to think that swear words would send you to hell straight away. And while not a delicate little flower, I was much, much cuter and more proper than I am now because I couldn’t live out my butch dreams quite yet. But I needed to express all the frustration gathered in those months.

So please imagine this baby-faced, straight A student 13yo wait for her friend in front of their school and bellow at the top of her lungs “BITCH, WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU?”

I still remember that scene fondly, though.

31.) Tell us a Sonic-related story that will give us feels.

Related to the experience I just mentioned, the problem I had in my first years in this fandom was that this person who had dragged me into it was obsessed with the thought that people would mock us for it. She said it was for kids, and when she got over it she gave me shit for clinging to my passion while she’d “grown up”, and she had me enjoy Sonic in secret and yelled at me for saying anything even vaguely related out loud where other people could hear us.

It got into my head so much that for a long long time I didn’t dare share anything Sonic-adjacent on any social media, long past when I’d broke away from her. I thought no one would ever take me seriously again. I felt ashamed a lot.

It got better, though. Slowly, I broke out of my shell and started interacting with this amazing fandom, and I found lots of people who didn’t give a damn about what the world thought of their passion. And I know tons of wonderful people outside the fandom, too, friends who encourage me to talk about Sonic even though they don’t know anything about it. Chats where any mention of Sonic has someone saying “wait we must tag naivesilver into this she’ll love it”. It’s - it warms my heart every day. Tumblr is a shithole, but it helped me in feeling free to do what I love in the fandom that I love most.

Thank you. To everyone that got me through that, thank you. You have no idea how helpful you’ve been to me.

19.) Favorite soundtrack

KNOCK KNOCK IT’S FUCKING KNUCKLES

20.) Least favorite soundtrack?

None I think???? There are some I don't listen to much, either because I haven't played the game or I just don't vibe with them, but there isn't any song that I particularly dislike. Almost all of them are genuine bops.

16.) (if you read fanfic) What are some fic tropes you love? Ones you hate?

FOUND FAMILY!!! Adoptive parents, siblings, friends taking care of each other, I want a shitton of fluff in my life. And kid!fic. I could read (and write!) kid!fic every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of it. That's why I enjoy Chaotix and Sonic Movie fics so much. Let's raise them boys well.

As for hating...I don't like high school AUs lmao I wrote one when I was younger but I never dared touch it again and I haven't read any Sonic one since 2014 at most. And most time travel fics. Sorry, Silver, I love you a fucking lot but time travel shenanigans are only funny in the two or three specific settings my mind lets me enjoy.

11.) Top five stages.

In no particular order:

-Press Garden (Mania)

-Casinopolis (Adventure)

-Casino Forest (Forces)

-Studiopolis (Mania)

Anddddd I haven't played much else so I'll have to get back to you on this ajshfkjfahlljha

12.) Worst five stages.

-IMPERIAL TOWER

-IMPERIAL TOWER

-Jesus Christ I died 78 times in that stage alone

-I'm bad at being fast and not falling off stuff and it required me to do both at the same time

-Also the Shadow DLC levels. Fuck me up a bit more will you

56.) In your opinion, what’s the weirdest thing any character has ever said?

I'm a simple girl, I see this panel and I lose my shit

10.) What do you like best about your favorite animated adaptation?

I only finished my Sonic X rewatch yesterday and I’ve been meaning to make some final comments about it (tho it’d probably be me rambling at thin air bc I doubt I can say anything that hasn’t been already said over and over and over) but the most compelling thing for me is and always will be the music.

Don’t get me wrong, what I’ve seen of the OG Japanese version had wonderful, heartfelt music, but the upbeat themes I grew up with still have me vibing day in and day out. I can dance to the Italian opening sequence at any given moment - no, you know what, here it is. Watch it and feel the serotonin drip into your veins.

(Some people will come at me for this, but I didn’t watch this show in 2019-2020 to make an in-depth analysis about it. I did it to have a dance off while Knuckles beat up some robots.)

78.) Post a scene that always gives you feels.

Sonic 06:

13yo me about to see her first ship torn apart:

4.) The last Sonic game you played is now your life. How awesome is this adventure gonna be?

Sonic Adventure - which means it’s a pretty cool life, unless it runs like SA does on my laptop and it turns slow and glitchy and grinds on my nerves even more

36.) C’mon now. How many ships do you have? :P

A FUCKING LOT my main ones are silvaze, vecpio and sonadow but I have many medium or small ones that I enjoy finding content for, like tikaze or knouge

39.) Which game is your golden standard?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m not the greatest game fan as in I’ve only been actively playing for the past 2/3 years. Before that it was just gameplays on Youtube, so you should not take my opinion into any account since it’s not very informed.

However there was something about Sonic and the Black Knight that just felt...new? Peculiar? I know jack shit about the technical side of gaming but I remember being extremely pumped every time I logged in to see more of it. I'd like to feel that again, when a new game drops.

[paint-pilot]

shit it’s been a second, guess it’s time to update again

edit: holy christ this is long, i’m gonna readmore it. tl:dr tyler has many badweird feelings but is getting through it. fun body changes, including hair growth and an unexpectedly nice voice. surgery and legal matters are Annoying. tw for menstruation

it is truly bizarre to think that i’ll have been five months on t in a little under two weeks. another month after that and it’s half a year. it’s uhh...weird. quarantine has just made this all feel weird. it’s like i fast-forwarded through this whole journey i was supposed to go on i guess? like i got randomly torn out of my life one day in march with no warning and then just as suddenly got spat out in august with a new life - new name, new face, new major, new identity - and no transitional period whatsoever. my classmates, my professors, my students, they all have only known me as tyler. and only ever will know me as tyler. and that’s great! it’s great, and i’m truly just blown away by how markedly easy it’s been and how weirdly good my timing was in transitioning. but it almost feels like i’m still a ways behind everyone else, i guess. i’ve spent so much of my life hiding, and lying through my teeth, and covering my ass every second of every day to protect myself, and i don’t have to do that anymore but the instinct is 100% still there and that honestly doesn’t feel good. of course i’m not making any of it up - i’m happier now than i’ve ever been, and i know i’m making the right choice - but it still persistently keeps feeling that way.

it’s just difficult, i think, to balance wanting to be read as male (and, to a large extent, wanting to keep my transness hidden both for safety reasons and so people don’t start treating me differently) and finding it difficult to hide this truly massive life change that, like, four people are really seeing anything of. and y’all, i guess, lol. it’s one thing to talk about all this in therapy, but it’s another entirely to just be able to share it with strangers and not worry about it being weird.

i was writing this with the intent of it being a mostly happy update but i guess there is some negativity boiling up so. gotta be honest, i guess? there’s a lot of fun trauma stuff i’ve been going through lately that i won’t get into but it’s culminated with this bullshit in this really fun way where my mom gets upset because i get kind of uncomfortable when she shows me childhood photos or tells stories about me as a little kid and then i just break down for reasons i really can’t discern. i’m going to try and articulate this, and who knows how messy it’s going to get, so i apologize if it gets kind of incoherent from here on out. as far as i can tell the root thing that she really gets upset about is that i’ve “thrown away” my whole previous identity. like, not a direct quote, but “you can’t just pretend [deadname] never existed. because she did, for a long time.” and...sure, i guess. i know this has been hard on my mom. i know she was raised in a conservative family, and while she has worked hard to adopt an accepting and open mindset she still doesn’t 100% grasp all of it and will make mistakes. i’ve made my peace with that. and yet. it’s not so much, really, that i was this other person and then became tyler, y’know? tyler did not appear suddenly two years ago where she once stood. tyler put on a mask, even before he knew he was tyler, because tyler was scared and ashamed but people seemed to like her and, for a time, she was an easy person to be. and i hated her. that is so fucking scary for me to say, and i’m not sure i’ve admitted that until literally right this second, but i did. not because she was a bad person. because she had a voice and a face and a body that i hated. because people saw her and assumed they knew me. because even she had many faces, because there was no real base or identity to her, just traits designed to paint a pretty picture and make people like her. because i knew, when i finally threw her away, people would miss her. compare me to her. expect me to be like her.

so i don’t know. i don’t have a satisfying way to wrap this up, because i honestly don’t know how to face this because i know it is absolutely not just the trans thing that created this situation. i’m kinda warring with myself, because i do kinda want to go back through this blog and delete photos of myself with long hair and whatever (because jesus, i’ve had this thing since i was like 14) but i genuinely don’t know if that’s healthy. i know i’m going back on my bullshit, fretting this way and that over whether something is “healthy” as though that’s an objective term without considering what’s going to make me happy, but honestly? i don’t know anymore. i keep sensing the mental block - the swathes of my childhood that i cannot recall, just vague, constant unease - and i don’t really know if i want to dig into all of that and learn what lies underneath because i’m sort of afraid of it. like i said, i’m happy now, happier than i’ve ever been, and i’d sort of like to just leave it like that. but i guess the length and tone of this post might argue otherwise.

anyways. anyways. enough mental health therapy, more actual hormone therapy updates since that’s what this goddamn thing is supposed to be i think? i’m finally starting to grow some noticeable hairs - my chin hair is coming back after my mom made me shave it before i left for school lol, as are a handful of mustache/lower lip/sideburn hairs. i keep feeling phantom bugs on my legs/feet and i’ve only just now recognized that that’s just leg hairs brushing against places i’m not used to. my appetite has picked up like absolute hell again, too, so i don’t know if i’m just having a metabolic spurt or what. also, i’ve started bruising more? idk what the hell that’s about - i fucking never bruise unless i’ve been hit Hard, and i kind of assumed testosterone would make you less likely to bruise, but then that’s probably just not related to the hormones at all. i was gonna put this in the tags but seeing as this post is already so long i might as well put a readmore and just put this here lol: my period is late, like, four days late, which is exceedingly unusual for me and might mean i’m finally done. or almost done. fingers crossed.

my voice has started to settle, it seems like. i popped out an e2 yesterday, which is Sick, but i’m not as focused on that anymore as i am on the actual quality of my tone. which is...good? i’m not just a baritone, i’m kind of a good one, at least it seems like. i’m really working right now on just getting familiar with my instrument - i’m second-guessing my pitch sensitivity a lot, but i think i really just need to drill and practice until everything starts feeling like second nature again. but since the musical didn’t happen for me, my coach wants to enter me in a classical solo competition next spring. so...no more retirement from competitive singing. i’m back! and thank god, because i’m starting to go crazy without being in musical work lol.

jesus fuck, i have a lot to say. i should probably split this into two posts but i don’t care. i am frustrated; i tried to get an appointment with a pro bono legal program for a name change, but it happened today and i wasn’t invited so apparently i’m on my own. and i’m frustrated. i’m trying to look at internships and shit for next summer, but i kind of can’t apply right now because my legal name and sex don’t line up with my presentation, and i don’t really know how easy it is to get away with that in this day and age and especially in my field. genuinely, if anyone has any advice, i’d appreciate it. i don’t know how long this will take, i don’t know what the requirements are, i don’t know if i’m better off just applying now and hoping they don’t eliminate me before ever getting me an interview. and, of course, i’m working on getting consultations for top surgery, but i keep catching myself procrastinating that. which seems weird, but listen. i’ve said it before but i have to emphasize, i am capital-t Terrified of getting this surgery. i know i need to, i know it will make things better for me, i know now is the time, i know i hate binding and can’t really get away with not doing so, but jesus fuck i am so frightened of anesthesia it’s not even funny. but i guess i’m mostly just calling myself out here and telling myself to quit being a big baby, schedule the thing, and give myself a few months to prepare.

anyway. that’s all i have to say. i’d apologize for ranting, but honestly...i dunno. i know at the start of all this a handful of you requested these updates, and i have to imagine it’s because at least some of you are transitioning, are thinking of doing so, or know someone who is or will be soon. and i just hope someone out there can at least relate, because there honestly just aren’t a lot of comparable life changes out there. or maybe this is just therapeutic for me, that’s fine too.

i have two midterms next week i should be studying for. i should do that.

[mpilgrimx]

Story Time:

There was this girl in my photography class a couple semesters ago. I thought she was really cute, and after I first saw her on the first day of class I realized the only seat left available was the one next to her. So that was lucky. 

It took me a couple classes to talk to her, and I remember the first time to which was embarrassing. She was a few feet ahead of me as we were leaving class and I was saying to myself “be cool, stay calm, just call her name and say hi.” Literally as I opened my mouth to say her name I physically choked. It’s hilarious to think about. But I did end up calling her name, she stopped, I asked her a question and we walked to our cars together. I eventually realized that she always parked in the same area, so because I really enjoyed talking to her I parked in the same area. Kinda weird, but fully only because I just liked being around her. It felt good. 

I eventually got the courage to ask her if she’d wanna get a coffee with me, to which she replied that she doesn’t drink coffee. But she did drink tea, she said. We went for coffee/tea a couple times after class one week and just talked. I got to know some personal stuff about her. It was so crazy to know that she dealt with the same kind of issues I deal with. But also, felt nice to have someone to relate to. As the weeks went on, I grew to really like her. She was cute, funny, talented, and just a really sweet person. I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to mess up this new friendship. So I stayed quiet for a while.

We found out that we both liked Tame Impala and both wanted to see him live when he came to our city. We didn’t have anyone to go with so I said we should go together. She said yeah, and that we should look into how much tickets were. Long story short, I ended up buying hers because I liked her so much and just wanted to do something nice for her.  She wanted to pay me back, but I didn’t let her.

She ended up having friends that were at the concert so we met up with them when we were there. They were really nice. The show started, and I had bought us pit tickets so we could be right up front- but she was more comfortable in the yard so that’s where we watched from. The show was awesome, and we had fun. Seeing her smile that much made my stomach do flips from so many butterflies. I wanted to tell her.

I decided to wait a week. I felt like telling someone you liked them after a night like that without any previous indication of romantic feelings seemed too much like a lame thing to do. I was nervous as hell, and could barely get the words out- but I strung together a somewhat coherent speech. She said she didn’t feel the same way. She apologized. 

I felt like a got punched by an MMA fighter, but I told her it was okay. I’m not someone to get upset (aside from being bummed) about that kind of thing, and I told her that I was more than happy to just be friends- which was true because I loved being around her so much that I’d rather have her in my life as a friend than not at all. The next couple weeks were a little awkward which I decided to bring up eventually. I could tell that the whole thing was odd for her so I told her that I was sorry if my telling her how I felt made her uncomfortable, because that was 100% not my intention. Things eventually got back to normal. And then the semester ended.

As much as I tried, we had stopped talking. I was bummed about that, but it is what it is, right? We’d exchange a couple messages on instagram every now and then and that was it. 

About a week ago I sent her a message. She responded. And then apologized. She had started dating someone and they were apparently a controlling person who would get jealous if she talked to other guys I guess- but that she left the relationship because she realized it wasn't good. I told her she had no reason to apologize, and that I’m just happy she was able to realize she didn’t deserve to be treated like that. We started messaging more on instagram, and catching up and it was nice. I learned what she’d been going through and like any friend should, I offered to be an ear or shoulder or whatever she needed, should she need something. She took me up on that.

A few days ago she FaceTimed me while I was doing yard work, so I stopped and took a break to talk to her. She was painting a commissioned piece, and just wanted to talk. I was more than happy to. We eventually hung up, and I thought “That was nice. I wish that’d happen again, but it probably won't.” It did. She FaceTimed me again that night a bit before midnight, and we were on until almost four. The majority of the last hour she had fallen asleep. I felt like a teenager again. 

We’ve been texting pretty much all day for the last few days, and I’ve really been happy about it. We FaceTimed again yesterday afternoon while I was taking a break from yard work again and we just sat there doing our own things for a lot of it. Tonight I decided to ask her if she’d wanna FaceTime rather than her ask me, and she said yes. She was painting most of the time, while I was struggling and eventually gave up on my math homework. She watched me make an album cover on photoshop for a pretend band we’re gonna put together, and it was pretty silly. This whole time I’ve been typing this we’ve been on FaceTime. I’ve got my phone sitting on my little dresser next to my bed, and she has her phone propped up next to her I think on her bed and she’s fallen asleep. She looks really adorable.

I don’t expect anything to happen from this. I very much still have feelings for her, but just the same as before- I’d much rather just have her in my life as a friend than not have her in it at all. So, it is what it is. 

If for whatever reason you’ve read this entire thing, this is just an extremely long post to say that in this moment of typing this post, I am truly happy. I just feel pure happiness in my heart and I’m going to cherish it.

[myshiki]

Hi guyyyyyys! I haven’t been on here in so long because I went to New York for a week to surprise @thispastiche <33 Crazy week but it honestly changed my life as cheesy as that sounds. 

One of the things I did while I was in New York was see one of Alexa’s friends who is a tarot card reader. One of the cards laid out for me was one of a person handing someone smaller than them a pot of lilies. (I looked it up..it’s Six of Cups card). She said, in lamest terms, that this means to her that I need to take my past experiences or idk..gained knowledge and share it with others. Just to share myself or help look after others is kind of what I got from that card. Alexa mentioned to the tarot reader that 1. I’m a nanny so it was kind of fitting and 2. I have a blog that I share my life on and that I’m very vulnerable on it and that “a lot of people respond to it.” I think Alexa was just being too sweet about that considering I only get like 3 notes per post, but I’m going to keep sharing myself on here anyhow. And if it helps anyone along the way, I’m so happy.

As soon as I got back to Texas my life became hell, because for only a couple of days now I have been in the beginning stages of one of the hardest times I will surely ever have in my life. Being with someone for around 3 years, not including the “talking” stages before that for like 2 years and then having that all change suddenly is terrifying- especially when your lives are so intertwined the way ours are. Her and her sister are who I have been closest to for YEARS now and their whole family became my family. We share an apartment. We share a car. I have so much to figure out. It would be easier if I could just focus on healing my heart and dealing with the emotional side of things, but having to figure out stupid details that have to do with having a roof over our heads and transportation at the same time is overwhelming to say the least. Also, it doesn’t help that their mom is angry with me for wanting to make mine and her daughter’s lives healthier so she’s being petty and really trying to make my life worse on purpose it feels like.

This is what I do know- I will be okay. Everyone involved will be okay. 

I am constantly shitting. (we’re all family here..) and I haven’t had much of an appetite for days now. Two days in a row I either threw up or dry heaved into the toilet from the nerves and anxiety. It has already been rough and it will probably get harder once we stop seeing each other as much, so here is a list of the things that have helped me get through shit so far.

1. During my hardest times- when my mom died, when Duy broke up with me, and now this- I struggle to feel like things are real. My anxiety and fear take over and I feel like I’m fucking floating, but not in a magical way. Yesterday I sat on my couch and thought to myself “I have legs. I have arms. I can move around. I got dressed today. I can drive my car.” and saying the most obvious things like that made me realize 1. I am existing and moving so I am going to be okay. There is no way I won’t be okay 2. I am grateful to be a human and to exist even if I get waves of thinking “I am going to die” and wishing I was dead because I definitely have gotten those.

2. Once I repeated to myself “it’s not that bad. It’s not that bad. It’s not that bad.” Idk what “it” is referring to, I guess the breakup or life but that was the first thing that came to my mind and I repeated it until I was a little more calm. I have also repeated to myself “it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.”

3. Today I had a blunt wave of “stop feeling sorry for yourself” and that actually had me snap out of sadness really fast. Until 20 minutes passed and I was back to being sad again. haha. But honestly, a lot of the time my sadness is because I feel so sorry for myself and sometimes that’s just fucking dumb.

4. Driving calms my nerves better and faster than anything else. Almost to the point where they don’t exist. I crank music up and just drive and idk, the whole drive I’m just in a state of wanting to cry of gratefulness because I’m like “wow, okay. I’m going to truly be okay.” 

5. Listening to music!!!!!!!! Which like, duh..but Post Malone’s new album has and will continue to get me through this shitty period of time. It is just dance-y and happy enough to not make me wanna die but also angry enough to make me feel better? I might have to listen to Billie Eilish today even though that’s a much sadder approach. (I am nannying soon and have a 30 minute drive to work and I can’t wait for that drive).

6. Taking care of other things or people or animals. Nannying is therapeutic for me because I am taking care of other people and not myself. It is a huge relief to get out of my own mind and think “how can I best keep these kids alive (lol) and make them as happy as I can.” I don’t have any pets currently, but when I live with my dad for a couple months which will eventually happen, I will help take care of his hyper ass dog, his 2 cats, all of his chickens, his plants, etc. And I think that will really help me.

7. Hanging out with people who are 100% looking out for you and will let you be as emotional as you need to be without making you feel like you’re too much or being a baby. (But if anyone makes you feel like that anyway, you should drop them fast as fuck). It helps to be around people who love you. There are more of them than you realize. 

8. Drinking helps some nights. haha

But that is my list for now. Like I said, this is only the beginning and I’m probably going to be posting some sad as fuck posts on here, or I might eventually discover more things that are helpful getting through hard times like these ones. 

If you’re reading this, I love you. You are going to be okay. You are a bad bitch and don’t let anyone make you think you’re not. 

[gothchic6]

Silver’s Skater Girl Chapter 17: The Golden Adventure Part 2: Dusk’s Revenge

While all of this drama has been going on, I've hardly had anytime for the Egg that Professor Elm has me carrying. I take it out of my backpack, the red and blue pattern distinct. I rub my hand over it, and it shakes a bit! I'm happy to see it's still doing okay. I put it back in my bag, and make sure to secure it from possible damage.

Spirit, Dusk and I go to leave the Pokémon Center, when all of a sudden, my PokéGear starts ringing again. I grab it to see who's calling, and I'm pleasantly surprised to see JC's number. I answer it almost immediately while stopping to sit at the booth again.

"Hey Calypso! It's JC! I haven't talked to you in a day or two, and JP left me a crazy voicemail saying a bunch of stuff happened with your Gran or something? I couldn't really tell what exactly she was saying in the message, so I was hoping you could clear some stuff up. And tell me how your journey is going," JC exclaims in a flurry of excitement.

"I have so much to tell you, JC," I say as I look at the clock again. 7:20pm. I have ten minutes to talk, so why not tell her everything?

"Okay, so the last time you called me, I was in Azalea Town about to go kick Team Rocket out of Slowpoke Well. Since then in the last two days, I beat all the Rocket Grunts, punched Team Rocket Executive Proton in the face, won against Azalea Gym Leader Bugsy, made friends with Kurt and his granddaughter, Maizie, travelled Ilex Forest, befriended a girl named Lyra, found out Gran was accused of domestic abuse, explored Goldenrod City, and saw and barely escaped from Gran on the sixth floor of the Goldenrod Department Store.

The Goldenrod Police found and arrested her at the Goldenrod Game Corner, playing Voltorb Flip earlier today. Now, about five minutes ago, JP called me and told me that someone paid Gran's 75,000 bail. So I have a fight to pick with whoever paid her bail. I'm pissed, JC."

It takes JC a few seconds to process all of this information, but she sputters out, "Well, I'd be too. JP and the Goldenrod City Police did their part to get a violent criminal off the streets, and someone goes and posts her bail? That is just pure evil."

"Yeah, so I have to watch out for her again, and I'm not happy. Also, I found out some interesting information," I reply, grabbing her interest.

"And what information would that be," She questions curiously.

"Okay, so Monica is actually a Gym Trainer at the Goldenrod City Gym. She tattled to the Gym Leader, Whitney, about me stealing Dusk, formerly, 'Jessica.' So Whitney banned me from challenging her Gym.

Later, I found out that Whitney is hosting a birthday party for Monica tonight in the Gym at 8pm. So I'm going to go crash Monica's birthday when we get off the phone," I relay to her.

I can hear JC trying to stifle some giggles, but she's not doing a very good job at it. "Hey, you let me know how that goes, okay? That sounds like so much fun right now."

"I'm hoping for it to be a success," I say determinedly, "Besides, I need that Goldenrod Gym Badge, and I'm not letting Monica get in my way. Anything new going on with you?"

"Yeah, kind of," JC starts out, "You know how I thought that JP wouldn't stop by my Pokémon Center as often after the whole incident three days ago?"

"Yeah, I thought she backed off? What's going on," I ask concernedly.

"Oh, don't worry, she's not being mean to me or anything like she was," JC assures me, "It's just the opposite, really. She comes at least twice a day to check up on me now even though Jenny Anne is actually the one assigned to Route 32.

I always catch her staring at me weirdly whenever she comes in to heal her Pokémon. Sometimes, if she's in a good mood, she'll bring me food from Violet City.

And she's always complimenting something about me! Yesterday, it was how my hair was in perfect loops, and today was how I healed her Aipom, Pomskey, 'awesomely.'"

My eyebrow twitches at this interesting development. "That is weird," I comment, "She's been sounding normal on the phone lately, and I haven't noticed anything weird about her. Maybe she just wants to be a good friend in order to make up for your guys' past. Unless she like-likes you. I don't know if you swing that way, but it's a possibility."

"...I've never really thought about it before, to be honest. I spent all of my childhood and adolescence studying for my Officer and Nurse positions that I never really had the time for romance," JC says awkwardly.

"Hey, don't feel bad," I comfort her, "I recently developed my first crush, and I'm seventeen. We don't all figure out things in our lives at the same rate."

"Thanks, Calypso," JC says quietly after a brief moment, "Is your first crush that Silver guy with the red hair?"

"…Shut up, JC," I say monotone.

"I knew it! I don't blame you, he's handsome in a menacing kind of way. But anyway, what should I do about JP, Calypso? The whole situation is so confusing."

"Well, I suppose you have to figure out two things," I speculate, "One, figure out whether JP is acting super nice because she wants to be your friend, or if she likes you romantically. Two, if she likes you romantically, you have to figure out if you are in a position to reciprocate her feelings back."

"Ugh, Calypso, you're right. I've got to figure this out," JC groans. "Oh, wait, Calypso! JP is calling me right now! I'll call you later, okay? I'll let know what happens either later tonight, or in the morning. Bye!"

"Bye," I say just as quickly before hanging up the phone.

Spirit and Dusk have been talking among themselves while patiently waiting for me to get off the phone. Spirit resumes her place on my left shoulder, while Dusk floats on my right side.

"So much drama, so little time, you guys," I comment as we finally leave the Pokémon at 7:30pm.

It's late enough that the street lights of Goldenrod are shining bright golden yellow to illuminate the city. I ride the loaner board all the way north up to the Gym.

We hide underneath the Magnet Train Track above us while surveying the entrance of the Gym.

First, we see just one Beauty guarding the Gym. After about two minutes, a small group of Beauties and Lasses come strolling up to the entrance. The original Beauty chats with them amicably before they all file into the Gym, one by one. I'm guessing that Whitney and Monica are already inside considering that I didn't see them.

The Gym doors close, and I can hear the Beauty locking the doors. That won't stop us, though.

We notice windows on either side of the front of the Gym. The one on our left is slightly cracked open.

"Hey, Spirit," I whisper, "Do you think you could fly up and open that window some more without being too loud? If you can do that, I think I can climb up the side of this fence so I can reach the window."

'I'll try,' Spirit says as she flies silently up to the window. She perches on the edge of the open window, nudging the bottom glass with her beak. After applying a tiny bit of pressure, the window opens enough to where I'm confident I can fit my body through it.

"Thanks, Spirit," I murmur up to her almost inaudibly. Sneakiness level up 100%!

Dusk floats up to where Spirit is waiting for me near the window. I get a footing on the concrete block fencing to my left, slowly standing up on it to try to reach the window. I wobble a few times due to my klutziness, but I manage to hold on. I stretch up to my full height of 5'7", and I get my right hand up on the metal ledge of the window. With all my strength, I swing myself back and forth until I hook one of my feet on the ledge, pulling myself up and through the window.

I do a somersault into the Gym from the window. I actually land on my feet for once.

The Gym itself is a multi-pink pattern with green ledges. It's also heavily decorated for Monica's Birthday Party, banners and streamers hanging almost everywhere.

The Gym Guru who is usually at the front of the Gym isn't here; I'm guessing he went home after the Gym closed. Just another person I don't have to sneak by.

There's a path up to the north of us. When we walk up a few feet, we notice a flight of stairs directly to the right of us, leading up on the ledges.

We decide to explore the north path first, but I find that it's a dead end. We go back to the stairs, walking up them, only to realize that a Beauty is hanging up streamers directly to left of us. I try to walk to the right quietly, but my curse strikes again. I trip and fall, causing the Beauty to hear the noise and come running over.

"Hey, you're not supposed to be in here! This is a private birthday party—Wait, you're that girl who stole Jessica! I'm afraid I'll have to kick you out, battle style," Beauty Victoria states confidently as she sends out the first of her three Pokémon, a Level 9 Sentret.

I send in Spirit, hoping to conserve Dusk's energy for a certain later battle. One of Spirit's Faint Attacks is all it takes to take her down. Beauty Victoria recalls her frustratedly.

Beauty Victoria sends in a Level 13 Sentret in her place. The Level 13 Sentret manages to get two minimal hits from her Fury Swipes, but ultimately gets steamrollered by Spirit's Faint Attack/Wing Attack combo.

Beauty Victoria's face is now red in anger. She recalls the Level 13, and then sends out her strongest Pokémon—you guessed it—a Level 16 Sentret.

She instructs this Sentret to use Defense Curl, hoping to heighten her Defense so Spirit can't knock her out instantly. Smart Move. But it won't work forever.

It takes 2 Faint Attacks and 3 Wing Attacks, but Spirit finally knocks her out after five turns of Defense Curl.

"Spirit grew to Level 19," the Pokédex announces.

Beauty Victoria grudgingly pays me 896 before allowing to continue past her. I heal Spirit with a Potion before we continue further.

We see another staircase further over to the right. We descend down it, leading to a hallway with trees on the left side, and the wall on the other. Further down, there's an opening to the left, and a hallway straight ahead.

We decide to go through the opening on the left, not realizing that we're putting ourselves in view of Beauty Samantha. Apparently, she was organizing Monica's gift table.

"Hey, you're that girl who stole Jessica from Monica! How dare you break in here and crash Monica's party," Beauty Samantha declares, sending out the first of two Pokémon, a Level 16 Meowth.

"Who wants to battle," I ask the two spooky Pokémon on my shoulders.

'I'll battle the Gym Trainers, and I'll leave Monica and Whitney to you and Dusk,' Spirit says as she flies forward to face the Meowth on the battlefield.

"Meowth, use your Fury Swipes," Beauty Samantha shouts.

"Spirit, dodge it and use your Wing Attack!"

Spirit soars up into the air, trying to dodge Meowth's Fury Swipes, but to our surprise, Meowth can leap really high. She gets one hit on Spirit for an eighth of her HP in damage.

Spirit immediately retaliates with her Wing Attack, cutting Meowth's HP down to a third.

"Spirit, finish this with Faint Attack!"

"Meowth, let's go! Use your Fake Out to stop it from attacking!"

Meowth's Fake Out hits first, the hit leaving Spirit with 3/4ths of her HP left. Unfortunately, she also flinches in response.

"Meowth, keep going at it! Use Bite to make her flinch again!"

"Spirit, dodge and use your Faint Attack!"

Spirit is faster than Meowth, disappearing into her cloud of darkness. Meowth keeps looking around, searching for Spirit, but she is too well hidden. Then, after a second of suspense, she strikes Meowth from behind.

Meowth faints from the unescapable attack. Beauty Samantha recalls her, before sending out a second Level 16 Meowth that's a twin of the first one.

'Let's get this over with,' Spirit comments as we start out with a Faint Attack.

"Meowth, use Growl!"

Meowth starts growling at Spirit aggressively, startling Spirit, and lowering her attack. Spirit stills hits Meowth with her Faint Attack, but it only reduces her HP by half.

"Meowth, use your Fury Swipes!"

"Spirit, dodge it, and use Wing Attack!"

Meowth goes in a frenzy, hitting Spirit 4 out of 5 times with her Fury Swipes. It reduces Spirit's HP to a little less than half.

Spirit still has enough strength to soar into the air, and plough into Meowth at high speed with her wings. It makes Meowth faint, to Beauty Samantha's dismay. She recalls Meowth, and pays me 896.

We realize that we can't get through to the left, so we pass Beauty Samantha on the right, going up a path and to the right. It leads us to a bigger hallway with a staircase on the left, where I see that the other path to the other hallway connects to it.

We walk up and to the left, finding another entrance to the area that was blocked off by Beauty Samantha. I look around, and see no one, so I heal Spirit with a Super Potion.

Spirit looks like she's tired, so I ask her if she wants to switch out. She accepts my offer for a nap, so I switch her out with Cyndi as my first Pokémon.

Cyndi and I sneak further down the hallway, where we see a Lass on our right, facing that direction. We go further down and to the right to avoid her, only to find another Lass guarding the other side.

Lass Carrie sees my sneak attempt, and comes to challenge me. She only has one Pokémon, a Level 17 Snubbull.

"Snubbull, we gotta take down this party crasher! Use Bite!"

"Cyndi, dodge it, and gain some speed with your Quick Attack!"

Cyndi dashes past Snubbull, who isn't able to keep up. Cyndi sprints in a circle around her, making her dizzy, before actually attacking. It reduces her HP by a third.

"Snubbull, don't let her take you down! Use Charm!"

Snubbull tries to Charm Cyndi, who succumbs to it, reducing her Attack two levels.

"Cyndi, don't sweat it! Use your Ember attack!"

Cyndi charges a fireball to blue, flinging it directly to Snubbull's face. It reduces her HP to almost none.

"Come on, Snubbull, you can do it! Use Lick!"

"Cyndi, take her out with your Headbutt!"

Cyndi and Snubbull charge each other, but Cyndi is faster. She head-butts Snubbull straight on the forehead, causing her to fly back and hit the wall, knocking her out instantly.

Lass Carrie recalls Snubbull whilst swearing under her breath. She pays me 272 in winnings.

We walk past her, and finally see the first glimpses of Whitney and Monica. They are joined by the other Lass that I snuck by earlier. They are standing around a large table with a multilayered cake in the middle. Whitney is about to cut the cake when we stumble upon the scene.

Dusk instantly puffs up in anger at seeing Monica again. I can't help but feel a little nauseous at seeing her again too. She's such a terrible person.

"See, Whitney, I told you this punk wannabe freak would try to crash my birthday party," Monica complains loudly to Whitney.

"Hey, you're the girl from the Radio Tower! I can't believe I didn't realize that it was you earlier! How dare you break into MY Gym and crash Monica's birthday party? I should call the Police Department to come pick you up, but I think I'll let Cathy escort you out instead," Whitney threatens.

Lass Cathy steps towards me, sending out the first of three Pokémon, a Level 15 Jigglypuff.

"Jigglypuff, use Defense Curl!"

"Cyndi, use Headbutt to make her flinch, and then use Flame Wheel!"

Jigglypuff curls up her body to raise her Defense by a level. Cyndi sends her flying with a Headbutt, but she's puffed herself up to the point where she's floating in the air. Cyndi turns her dashes into the start of a Flame Wheel, rolling towards Jigglypuff. However, when she makes contact, she bounces into Jigglypuff, causing both of them to bounce violently in opposite directions, causing damage to both parties.

Cyndi's HP reduces by a fifth, while Jigglypuff is a little bit worse for wear, losing a third of her HP in damage.

"Jigglypuff, use Disable on Quilava's Flame Wheel!"

Jigglypuff snaps her fingers, and Cyndi is unable to use her Flame Wheel attack.

"Cyndi, do what you did before and use Ember!"

"Jigglypuff, use Sing," Lass Cathy calls out as Cyndi blasts Jigglypuff with a small fireball.

The Ember hits Jigglypuff just as she starts singing her song. Cyndi starts getting drowsy, but her Ember ultimately knocks Jigglypuff out.

Lass Cathy recalls Jigglypuff, only to replace her with another one of the same level and gender. For some reason, Trainers at this Gym feel the need to train several of the same Pokémon.

Now that the previous Jigglypuff has been defeated, Cyndi can use her Flame Wheel again! Unfortunately, Cyndi has fallen asleep, to my annoyance. The last Jigglypuff barely got any song out. I call bullshit. Anyway…

"Jigglypuff, use Pound on the sleeping Quilava!"

"Come on, Cyndi, quit your snoozin! We need to do some bruisin'," I shout obnoxiously.

Monica, Whitney, and Cathy all groan at my terrible rhyme.

Cyndi is hit with both Jigglypuff's Pound and my terrible rhyme, and I honestly think the rhyme did more damage. The Pound decreases her HP by a tiny bit, but both of them instantly rouse her.

"Yay, Cyndi! My obnoxoius rhyme worked! Now use your Flame Wheel!"

Cyndi rolls into a flame-covered wheel, being so fast that Jigglypuff has no time to move even if Cathy issues a command.

Cyndi slams Jigglypuff into the nearest wall, almost flattening her. It's only due to her large amount of HP that she survives the hit with a tiny bit of HP left.

"Jigglypuff, I know you can do it! Use Pound again!"

"Cyndi, finish this with your Quick Attack!"

Cyndi's Quick Attack has first priority, and she throws Jigglypuff into the wall again, knocking her out.

"Come on, Cathy, don't lose to this freak," Monica shouts from the sideline.

"Shut the fuck up, Monica," I reply harshly.

"Make me, FREAK!"

Cathy doesn't respond to Monica or I's bickering, recalling her Jigglypuff, and once again replacing it with the last clone of itself.

"Jigglypuff, we gotta take Quilava down! Use Sing!"

"Cyndi, cover your ears!"

Jigglypuff starts singing again, and I immediately plug my ears because I know if I listen to her song, I'll fall asleep. Cyndi thankfully does the same thing.

Unfortunately for Monica and Whitney, they were too busy talking shit about me to notice that Jigglypuff used Sing, so they're both asleep now. Haha.

Jigglypuff's Song ends, and she notices everyone around her are either sleeping, or plugging their ears. Jigglypuff puffs up in anger, and takes apart the microphone she's holding to reveal a black marker.

To everyone's surprise, she proceeds to draw on Whitney and Monica's faces, mad that they fell asleep during her song.

"Jigglypuff, no, don't do that! You're supposed to do that to the enemy! Now use Pound!"

"Cyndi, dodge it and use Flame Wheel!"

Jigglypuff puts the rest of her anger to use in her Pound attack. To my astonishment, not only is she able to rush Cyndi, but she also hits her in the face, reducing her HP to 2/3rds. That is one angry, yet adorable, Jigglypuff.

But Cyndi refuses to let her get away with it. She comes barreling towards Jigglypuff in her Flame Wheel, knocking her into the wall again, reducing her HP to a fourth.

"Jigglypuff, use Disable again!"

"Cyndi, finish this off with your Headbutt!"

Jigglypuff snaps her fingers again, but it doesn't matter as Cyndi rushes her again, headbutting her in the forehead with enough force to make her faint.

"Jigglypuff, no," Lass Cathy cries out as she recalls her worryingly. While Monica and Whitney are still asleep, I heal Cyndi with a Potion and switch her out with Dusk as my first Pokémon.

"Whitney! Monica! Wake up! She beat me and I don't have any Revives!"

Cathy is able to wake up Whitney and Monica, who are still woozy from Jigglypuff's song.

Monica immediately looks at her reflection in the screen of her PokéGear. What she sees makes her scream.

"Waaah! I told you that this freak would ruin my birthday! Now I have this marker all over my face, ruining my makeup! You'll pay for this, you freak," Monica screams at me hysterically.

Whitney grabs Monica by the shoulder, and says soothingly, "Don't worry, Moni, I'll take care of her. As the Gym Leader of Goldenrod Gym, I promised you that I would protect your birthday party at all costs. And I'm fulfilling that promise."

Monica looks at her in disbelief, replying, "That's sweet, Whitney, but this freak has made things personal. I'm not giving her the satisfaction of getting to battle you until after I rip her limb from limb. Let me do my thing. I got this."

Whitney let's go of Monica's shoulder, allowing her to step forward to challenge me.

My eyebrows raise at her brazen threats. "Is that a threat or a promise, Moni?"

Monica's face instantly goes red at my use of her personal nickname. "You're not allowed to call me that. You're on now, you punk wannabe loser freak!"

The first Pokémon she sends out I recognize as an Level 15 Azurill.

Dusk floats from my shoulder to face Monica and Azurill.

"Jessica! My sweet baby, why are you working for the enemy? Come back to mommy right now!"

"Her name isn't Jessica," I growl menacingly, "Her name is DUSK!"

'Yeah,' Dusk yells at her.

"I can't believe you! You brainwashed Jessica into thinking I'm the bad guy here!"

Her total lack of responsibility infuriates me.

"You ARE the bad guy here, Monica! You verbally abused a Pokémon Center Nurse, cried about it to the manager, and made it look like you were the victim!

Not only that, but you totally don't know how to take care of Dusk! You insulted her because she played tricks on you guys all the time, but I bet none of you know that Misdreavus feed off of fear!

So don't claim to care about a Pokémon you had no interest about learning to care for, and that you verbally abused for two years! Just admit you don't care about her like you said, and cut the bullshit!"

Monica is speechless at my rant, and she glances between the matching stern expressions of Dusk and I. Seeing that we're both not backing down, she scowls sinisterly.

"So I see how it is. Well, then, 'Dusk' if you want to stay with this punk wannabe freak, then go. You don't belong here with me anyway. You don't fit the Gym's aesthetic, and you don't fit mine either."

Everyone in the room gasps dramatically. I guess Dusk and I are going to have wipe the floor clean with Monica. That's the only option I see right now.

"Come on, Dusk, let's wreck her!"

*Dusk's POV*

This tiny adorable Azurill is definitely a new addition to Monica's team, because I don't remember her. I feel bad for her, but she's exactly the type of Pokémon that Monica would want to train anyway. Hopefully, she'll take care of her as well as she takes care of her other Pokémon, Honey Bear.

"Sapphire, use your Charm!"

Sapphire's Charm makes my Attack stat go down. But it's a stupid move, because I can't even hit her with physical moves.

"Dusk, use your Confuse Ray," Calypso calls out to me. I oblige.

"Take this, bitches," I shout as I send out a Confusion Ray.

I confuse the Azurill with the ray, and she starts stumbling over in confusion. After a second of stumbling, she accidentally rolls onto her head, causing an eighth of damage to her HP.

"Sapphire, use your Bubble!"

"Dusk, use Psywave to pop the bubbles!"

Azurill blows a few little bubbles, so I, of course, start screaming to disrupt said bubbles. The Psywave is powerful enough that it destroys the bubbles before they can hit me. It's also powerful enough to reduce Azurill's HP by half.

Monica starts screaming, and calling Calypso and I freaks again. I hate her so much.

"Don't worry about her, Dusk! You got this! Use Spite!"

I yell a bunch of things at Monica that I've been holding back for a while. It reduces Azurill's PP for the move Bubble by 5. It also makes me feel extremely good to do so, even though she has no clue what I said. Calypso hears it, and starts laughing hysterically. Monica yells at Calypso for laughing at her before issuing another command,

"Sapphire, use Slam!"

Azurill charges at me, attempting to slam me, but these idiots clearly forgot that I'm a Ghost Type. She goes straight through me.

Calypso starts laughing at Monica's idiocy, and I can't help but giggle too.

"Dusk," Calypso says through the giggles, "Use Psywave again!"

I unleash another Psywave of hell from my mouth. It's even louder than the last one, and it instantly makes Azurill faint.

"Motherfucking bitch," Monica starts cursing while recalling Azurill, "You did not just make my little Sapphire faint! Well, Honey Bear will take care of you," She says as she sends out her last Pokémon, and my nemesis, Honey Bear. She appears to be at Level 16. Ha, I'm at Level 18. Loser.

I haven't rolled with Monica and her crew for a while so I don't know what kind of moves Honey Bear has learned. We'll see.

"Dusk, let's finish this," Calypso shouts to me. I can't help but agree with her.

"Oh, it's not over yet, freak! Honey Bear, use your Lick attack," Monica screeches.

"Dusk, dodge it, and use Confuse Ray!"

Honey Bear comes dashing towards me, her tongue outstretched. That's a super-effective move, so I fly as high up as possible, trying to avoid her.

Once I'm high up enough that she can't reach me, I send a Confuse Ray towards her. It almost misses its mark, but thankfully it hits her directly on the ear. She starts thrashing around in confusion. Her HP reduces by an eighth.

"Dusk, hit her with a Psywave and confuse her more!"

I hit Honey Bear with a sonic wave, reducing her HP to half.

"Come on, Honey Bear, let's go! Use Leer!"

Snapping out of her confusion, Honey Bear leers at me from the ground, lowering my Defense by one level.

Honey Bear has retreated further back, so I have to float down closer if I want to hit her with any attacks. There's also the problem of my lowered Defense. If she hits me with Lick, I know it won't be good. I wonder what Calypso's going to do…?

"Dusk, float closer and use Psywave again!"

"Honey Bear, use Lick! And make sure you get her this time!"

Honey Bear tries her hardest to jump up and Lick me, but as she does, I start screaming in her face, blowing her away with the Psywave. Her HP reduces to a fifth.

"Honey Bear, no! Grrr..." Monica growls exasperatedly, "Use Lick one more time!"

"Dusk, use Psywave! Whoever hits the other first is the winner!"

I float down to where Honey Bear is attempting to lick me one more time. When she's about 4ft (1.2 M) from me, I start screaming again, right in her face, about how much of a bitch she and Monica were to me.

I scream so loud that the Psywave sends her flying into the wall. After a few seconds, all of us see that Honey Bear isn't unable to battle.

Calypso looks to me, her mouth dropped wide open. "We did it, Dusk," she whisper-screams, "We motherfucking did it!"

*Calypso's POV*

"NOOO! How could this have happened to me on my birthday! WHY?!"

Monica starts crying hysterically while recalling Honey Bear, so Whitney goes to comfort her.

While Whitney's distracted, I take a few seconds to switch Dusk out with Cyndi for my battling Pokémon so Dusk can rest and watch the final battle by my shoulder.

Cyndi, Dusk and I walk up to where Monica and Whitney are sitting on the floor behind the cake table. Whitney's got her arms wrapped around a sobbing Monica, and when I approach them, Whitney glares at me.

"What do you want? You've already done enough damage here tonight. If you don't leave, I'll call the Goldenrod City Police Department!"

"First off, Monica didn't pay me. Second, if I'm not mistaken, you told Monica that you would 'take care of me' because I wrecked her birthday. I just wrecked Monica, and now you're not going to do anything about it? If you're anything like the Gym Leader you're supposed to be, I know you'll get up, and kick me out of your Gym, battle style! Either you kick me out, or I leave here with a Plain Badge!"

Whitney is stoic for a second before standing up and eyeing me sharply.

"You know what, you're right. Moni, I told you I'd take care of this, and I'm going to. Calypso Aspen Primrose, you are going to regret ever messing with any of us!"

To my surprise, Whitney only has two Pokémon on her team. The first she sends out is a Level 17 female Clefairy.

Cyndi goes to take her on. Whitney issues the first command,

"Clefairy, use Doubleslap!"

"Cyndi, dodge it, and use your Flame Wheel attack," I call out.

Cyndi out speeds Clefairy, hitting her with a Flame Wheel for half of her HP in damage.

Clefairy got covered in soot as a result of the Flame Wheel, and she is not happy. She runs up and hits Cyndi in the face with her Doubleslap 3 out of 5 times for a fifth of her HP in damage.

"Cyndi, use Headbutt to make Clefairy flinch!"

"Clefairy, use Metronome!

Clefairy starts waggling one of her fingers, while Cyndi charges her. Cyndi hits her with Headbutt, reducing her HP to almost none. Clefairy retaliates, her Metronome turning into Slash, and she reduces Cyndi's HP to a little under half.

"Clefairy, use Doubleslap," Whitney tries, but my next move makes it not matter,

"Cyndi, use your Quick Attack!"

Cyndi's Quick Attack hits first, making Clefairy faint instantly.

"Cyndi grew to Level 21," The Pokédex congratulates.

"H-hey! Just one left? But… I ain't losin, you hear?"

"We'll see about that," I say as I recall Cyndi for some rest. I send out Dusk in her place.

Whitney's last Pokémon is a Level 19 Miltank. The worst thing about Normal Type Pokémon is that they usually have an obscene amount of HP. I'm hoping that status problems might be able to help me with this battle.

"Miltank, use Rollout," Whitney starts the battle off.

"Dusk, dodge it and use Confuse Ray!"

Miltank rolls into an extremely fast wheel of muscle, bouncing around the room. Dusk tries to avoid it by flying upward, but Miltank is able to gain enough air bouncing to hit her. It reduces her HP by a third.

Despite being hit with an attack, Dusk is still able to accurately hit Miltank with her Confuse Ray. To our annoyance, Miltank pulls out a Lum Berry and eats it, eliminating her status problems. I growl frustratedly.

"Ha, you never expected that, did you," Whitney taunts me.

"That was a smart move, but it'll take more than that to trip us up," I reply back confidently.

"LOSE! FUCKING LOSE, YOU FREAK! GO WHITNEY," Monica starts screaming.

I want to tell Monica to shut the fuck up, but I hold my tongue and opt for, "Dusk, use Spite on Miltank's Rollout!"

Dusk reduces Miltank's PP for Rollout by 5, but it doesn't stop Whitney and Miltank from using it, however. Miltank hits Dusk with another round of Rollout, with more power this time, leaving her with an eighth of HP left.

"Come on, Dusk, you can do it! Use Confuse Ray one more time!"

Dusk sends another Confuse Ray to Miltank, who actually stays confused this time. She stumbles around, accidentally hitting her head against the wall in confusion for a fifth of her HP in damage.

"Come on, Miltank, you got this! Use Stomp!"

I start to laugh because Stomp is a Normal Type move, so it can't hit Dusk. But to my astonishment, it does! She faints from the impact.

"How did your Miltank use a Normal Type move on Dusk," I question as I sadly recall Dusk. She put up a good fight.

"Miltank has the ability, Scrappy! She can hit Ghost Type Pokémon with Normal and Fighting Type moves."

"GO WHITNEY! YOU AND MILTANK CAN DO THIS," Monica starts screaming again.

"Monica, shut the fuck up!"

It might be a risk, but I think I might let Forest have a go at it.

"Go, Forest, use your Poisonpowder!"

"Miltank, use Rollout again!"

Miltank almost flattens Forest, but he swiftly sidesteps her, throwing his Poisonpowder on her.

She starts losing HP due to the poison, reducing her HP to 3/4ths.

"Miltank, use Attract on Bellsprout," Whitney instructs her.

Miltank sends Forest a seductive look, and that's all it takes for him for him to be head over heels, infatuated.

"Forest, come on, use your Vine Whip attack!"

Forest is too immobilized by love to make any moves, to my frustration.

"Miltank, use your Stomp!"

Miltank runs up to Forest, stomping his lower body with her hoof, reducing his HP to a fourth.

"Forest, no! Are you okay?" He manages to get up, thankfully.

"Forest, stay strong! Use your Vine Whip!"

"Miltank, use Stomp to end it!"

"Dodge it, Forest!"

Forest is too in love with Miltank to make any moves. Miltank starts approaching to make the final blow. In my desperation, I shout out,

"Forest, don't do this! She doesn't actually love you! Use your Vine Whip!"

Forest finally snaps out of his infatuation, barely able to dodge Miltank's Stomp.

Forest is able to grab one of Miltank's legs with his vines. With all the strength, he can muster, Forest makes Miltank trip and fall on her face, reducing her HP to half. Then, another round of poison reduces it a couple more points.

"Miltank, take him out with your Rollout," Whitney continues the onslaught.

"Come on, Forest, you can dodge it!"

Forest tries his hardest to avoid Miltank's massive wheel of destruction, but she's too fast, and crashes into him. The hit sends him flying against the wall, making him faint.

"Oh, Forest, you did so well," I give him praise as I recall him back into his Poké Ball.

"You've already got two fainted Pokémon, and one of your other ones is injured! Why don't you just give up now," Whitney taunts me. I don't fall for it.

"YEAH, FREAK! GIVE UP SO I CAN FINALLY CELEBRATE MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY," Monica screeches in conjunction with Whitney's taunt.

I point to Monica, "First, I don't give a shit, so shut the fuck up," and then I turn to Whitney, "And you're one to talk. You only have two Pokémon, one of them is fainted, and the other has half it's health left, along with poison status. I'm not worried."

"We'll see about that! Send out your next Pokémon!"

I know that Cyndi is hurting with less than half HP, and Miltank's Rollout is super-effective against Spirit, so I decide to let Zellie have a shot. Her Sonicboom could come in handy.

"Zellie, use your Sonicboom!"

"Miltank, finish this before it starts with your Rollout!"

"Zellie, flip over it!"

Miltank comes speeding towards Zellie, who doesn't even blink at the faster Pokémon's wheel of destruction. Once Miltank comes within two feet of her, Zellie flips entirely over Miltank, and shoots a Sonicboom that stuns her. Miltank's HP goes to down less than a fourth. Then, the poison reduces it to almost nothing.

"Oh, poor me," Whitney cries out sarcastically, "Whatever shall I do? Oh, wait, I know! Miltank, use your Milk Drink!"

Miltank heals her HP to a little more than half. I grind my teeth in frustration, but I'm hoping that Zellie's Sonicboom will get the job done.

"Zellie, don't stop! Use Sonicboom as much as you can!"

Zellie starts spitting out continuous Sonicbooms, most of them missing the fast Miltank, but one of them hit for 20 points in HP damage. It reduces her HP to a fourth.

"Miltank, we can't tolerate this! Use Stomp to knock these intruders out of here!"

"Zellie, dodge it!"

Miltank goes to Stomp Zellie's face in, but the moment she goes to stomp down, Zellie zips out of the way.

"How is she doing that," Whitney calls out, "My Miltank is faster than her!"

"Faster, yes, but not more evasive. Besides, Zellie is more accurate with her attacks. And you're using physical moves while we're using special moves from a distance. That's why ours are more likely to hit."

Miltank's HP reduces to almost nothing from another turn with poison status.

"Miltank, come on, you got this! Use Milk Drink!"

"Zellie, stop her, and finish this with your Quick Attack!"

Zellie's Quick Attack has priority over Miltank's Milk Drink, and she knocks Miltank out before she's able to heal herself.

"Zellie grew to Level 13. Zellie grew to Level 14," The Pokédex announces.

"Ugh…," Whitney sighs as she recalls Miltank. Then, all of a sudden, she starts bawling, "Waaaaah! Waaaaah! ...Snivel… Hic. ….You meanie!"

"Umm, I literally just won a Pokémon battle against you in your own Gym. You owe me a Plain Badge," I say harshly.

Monica wraps her arms around a sobbing Whitney now, snarling, "You literally broke in here to ruin my birthday and you think Whitney is going to give you a Gym Badge? She doesn't owe you shit."

"Calypso, get lost! Get out of here before I call the Police Department," Whitney cries out childishly.

I start getting a little angry. "We had a deal. Either I lost and you kicked me out, or I won, and got a Plain Badge."

"Whitney, she did technically beat you in your Gym in Gym Operation Hours," I'm surprised to hear Cathy speak, "We did close early for Monica's Birthday Party, and by law, we were supposed to be open to receive Gym challengers. I'd just give her the Badge, Whitney."

"CATHY?! WHY ARE YOU STANDING UP FOR THIS FREAK," Monica screeches again.

Whitney growls, "If I give you this badge, will you get out and never come back? Also, you can never harass Monica again."

"Deal, but if Monica fucks with me again, the second part of the deal is invalid."

Monica looks like she's about to protest this, but Whitney gives her a silencing glance.

"Deal," Whitney says as she places a small square shaped golden badge in my hand.

"I guess you did beat me fair and square. Even if you broke in here to do it. But that doesn't mean I want you anywhere in my sight. If I ever catch you harassing any of my Gym Trainers again, I'll make sure you get creamed next time."

"Duly noted," I say as I walk past them, and slowly walk my way out of the Gym, a tired Zellie by my side.

"Boy, are you a trooper, Zellie. Thank you so much for toughing it out and finishing what Dusk started, and Forest continued," I congratulate her.

'No problem. I thought Miltank was gonna knock me out so many times, but you got us through it. I'm so happy I'm getting stronger!'

"Yeah, and you grew two levels from that battle," I continue, "I'm really proud of you, Zellie."

Zellie swishes her tails back and forth in happiness. I notice her start to tire as we finally get to the entrance of the Gym. I offer her to return to her Poké Ball so she can rest on the way home. She obliges.

I go to ride on the loaner board when Spirit surprises me by popping out of her Poké Ball, and perching on my shoulder.

"Hey, what's up, Spirit? You feeling okay from earlier?"

'I just wanted to tell you how well I think you did in there. You went in there, took charge, and didn't take no for an answer. You're becoming everything your Gran feared you'd be. But at least you're you.'

I can't help but smile at Spirit's compliment.

"Aww, thanks, Spirit. I think I just really wanted this for Dusk and for myself too. And the Team. You guys mean everything to me."

Spirit caws in contentedness, and we ride silently to the Pokémon Center.

I heal all of my Pokémon before Cyndi and I completely crash on the Pokémon Center booth. As we doze off, I can hear the ring of my PokéGear going off. But I'm too tired too answer it…

*Third Person POV* (An hour and a half ago)

"Hello, welcome to the Goldenrod City Jail, I'm Officer Jenny Marie. How can I help you today?"

"Yes, I've come to post the bail of an inmate in your facility," Poké Maniac Donald says as he walks closer to the front desk.

"Okay," Officer Jenny Marie says cheerfully, "Which inmate's bail did you want to post?"

"I want to post the bail of Ruth Marken."

"Okay, I'm looking up Ruth Marken in the system… Found her! Okay, so her bail is set for 75,000. Did you still want to post it?"

"Yes," Poké Maniac Donald confirms.

"Okay, so how did you want to pay for that? Cash, check, or credit?"

"It'll be cash," Poké Maniac Donald says as he pulls out the wad of cash that Monica gifted to him for this purpose.

"Okay, let me count this… Okay, this is indeed 75,000. Let me process this transaction, and I'll bring your inmate out to you shortly. I have to let you know however, that there are conditions of releasing her from incarceration. She has a restraining order put on her from her granddaughter, and she must not come within 100 yards of Calypso Aspen Primrose. If she does, she'll break her restraining order, and she'll be brought back here. Understand?"

"Yes," Poké Maniac confirms again.

"All right, we're done! I'll be right back with your inmate!"

After about a minute, Officer Jenny Marie comes back with a large disheveled woman following behind her. Incarceration doesn't look good on Ruth Marken.

"Here she is! Well, I hope you two have a great day! And keep out of trouble," Officer Jenny Marie says farewell while sitting back behind her desk again.

Ruth Marken stares at the random person who posted her bail. Hell, she should've been able to pay her own bail, but she lost thousands gambling and much more was stolen from her ungrateful bitch of a granddaughter.

Poké Maniac Donald beckons her to follow to him outside. They exit the Jail, Ruth easily being able to keep pace with Donald.

"Who are you? Or what are you? Some kind of Pokémon furry?"

Poké Maniac Donald blushes instantly at this question, replying furiously, "I am a man dedicated to Pokémon, Madam, and in order to know about Pokémon, I dress like a Pokémon. Anyway, you should be nicer to the person who just posted your bail."

"I don't even know you. Why did you pay massive amounts of money to post my bail," Ruth questions him.

"Oh, it's not just me. You, me, and another person all have one common enemy, my dear Ruth," Poké Maniac Donald says sinisterly.

Ruth matches her grin to Poké Maniac Donald's tone. "Let me guess, it's my lovely ungrateful bitch of a granddaughter, Calypso. She's always causing trouble."

"Yeah, she beat me in battle and gloated about to several people, and she stole the Pokémon of the person who paid to get you out of jail. If you want to help us, we want to take her down."

Ruth thinks about this for a few moments before replying, "You've got yourself a deal. Here, if you hold on to me, Fafnir can fly us to Cianwood City, where I live. We can plan things out there. Of course, it's a little messed up right now because lovely Calypso got into some trouble."

"Nah, I'd rather stay in Goldenrod if that all right with you. I live in one of the houses over by the Underpass Tunnel. We can plan from there."

"Humph... fine. Lead the way," Ruth says grumpily, while following Poké Maniac Donald down the Goldenrod Main Street. Officer Jenny Marie told them not to get into trouble, so they went searching for it.

[diaryofanormalkid]

New crush at church...

So if y’all have or haven’t been keeping up with my posts about this guy, he’s new to our church and joined the youth choir. I’m really attracted to him and I wanna get to know him.

This past Friday, I went on out to choir practice and he happened to be there so you can imagine my excitement, especially when I was hoping he’d show.

One of the very first things that happened between us was he sat down in a chair literally so close to me. I was like “hollup, what is personal space to you?” But I lowkey liked it

I literally got up like a minute after that to go charge my phone bc I was so shook that he did that, I like couldn’t believe 😳 and then when I sat back down, I sat one seat further away

Idk, I hope it wasn’t awks and that nobody noticed! 😭 I’m sure he did, but nobody else. also I didn’t tell you, but for a while it was only like 4 of us there

And that made for such an intimate setting for me personally, because we were all talking and really connecting on a deeper level about praise and worship songs

Occasionally we were making eye contact and idk if I’m reading too hard into it, but I felt sparks. Like the eye contact was definitely consistent and healthy between us.

So that was good. I had to at one point hand over a bag of carrots bc we were sharing food with each other and he went “I don’t really eat carrots like that.”

It wasn’t my food, but I was just happy I could hand him the bag. When we started practicing, he was a lot more talkative and was suggesting lots of songs, it was nice!

It was interesting to hear him speak yesterday after not getting to all this time, he has an accent. I found it actually kind of hard to understand tbh.

That threw me all the way off bc I didn’t expect him to sound like that at all. But hearing him speak so much was totally cool. And eventually I got the privilege of finding out he knows Spanish.

So not that y’all would know, but I’ve been learning Spanish lately and when that topic came up? I was shocked! What are the odds? In my head I was thinking, he needs to teach me.

And then as if my friend who was there could read my mind, it was like she said exactly what I was thinking: “you are my new friend! You’re gonna help me learn Spanish.”

And like I felt so in sync with everyone who was surrounded by me right then. It was super crazy how the only people there were all interested in speaking Spanish and singing Spanish songs?

I’ve been very serious about learning Spanish at the moment so I’m hoping it comes in handy in the near future. We’ll just have to wait and see I guess.

Later as the night went on, we started to brainstorm song ideas and then eventually narrowed down on a few and began practicing them.

We for the most part sounded beautiful with our harmonies and I kept fooling around with going back and forth between parts to find the best sounds/harmonies.

Since we weren’t 100% sure of the melody, I kept playing around with the tenor note. At one point I recall him mumbling to his cousin who was already attending our church:

“Is she a tenor?” LOL it was definitely a loud enough question for everyone in the room to hear so I wondered why he hadn’t just asked me personally.

I wanted to answer him personally but we were in the middle of singing our next line for the song and I didn’t want to be more disruptive to our progress.

So the night consisted of a lot of laughter and beautiful singing between us. I caught some looks of him and tried to make sense of myself that I was finally into a guy.

As the night was coming to an end, we were closing out in prayer and we were standing fairly close to each other so I knew this meant I’d have to be holding his hand tonight.

Or so I thought! Literally right as we had touched the tips of each other’s hands, we began to separate to make room for two other people who were behind us.

To say I was devastasted would be an overreaction honestly. I was actually moreso relieved! However, I must add that it seemed he was just as eager as me to hold hands?

Which I thought was interesting! 😳 so we ended our prayer and everyone stayed back to chat a bit, he was lingering around me looking at a flyer that was being handed out.

I actually almost forgot, but he asked me “is this _____________?” On the flyer since we were talking about going out to support our fellow youth at a play.

He was standing right in front of me asking at that point, so I was the one to answer him yes. I felt a little special ngl, like maybe his position of standing was intentional.

So we were all kinda just taking our time leaving to go upstairs. Everyone was standing in around the same place for a minute or two and he was there with his cousin.

I felt like... a weird vibe like he was waiting to see my next move and keep up with me so he could get to sit with me. But I was trying my hardest not to pay him any mind.

Like I just wanted to see where that moment was gonna take us bc I felt as if he wanted to talk to me individually now and find out more about me but he wasn’t sure if it was a good time.

Anyways we all started to slowly walk upstairs to listen to the grief fellowship and discussion of our pastor’s passing. And I’d say that was the last of our interactions for the night?

Maybe, just maybe, he’ll be interested? I can never tell if they’re interested back. I want to believe he is bc I feel like I can always pick up on vibes heavily.

My first few encounters with running into him in the past, my mom actually confessed to me today that she had seen him looking in our direction at one point this past Sunday.

That gave me a lot of hope bc my mom and I were saying if he doesn’t reciprocate, then don’t be the chaser, just leave it alone. Especially since she admitted he looks like a Casanova.

Which I was a little upset about. Once she said that, it made me nervous bc Ik girls will have an eye on him and he is gonna be a hard one to lock down by just looks.

I’m not one to want to compete with other girls for a guy’s attention. It’s just not worth it and I don’t want/need that kind of drama in my life, so for this guy, he def has to like me more.

Which is why, moving forward, as much as I would like to get to know him, I think it’ll only have to be as a friend for now and from afar if I have to since I don’t wanna get hurt.

I think it’s in my best interest to just take things slow, observe how he tries to interact with me and analyze amongst my mom and friends. But most importantly, pray to God for guidance.

So far, the vibe is fine for me. I don’t get any nerve-wracking or anxious thoughts about him. When I was around him, he didn’t make me as nervous as I’d usually be in the past.

That made me feel good. However, I’m gonna keep checking in with my intuition and the vibes and my analysis’ making sure that I’m not rushing into/forcing him to try to like me.

It has to naturally happen and he has to reeeeally be attracted to me or I believe this will never work. So I’m gonna leave it in God’s hands, as easy as that may seem, it’ll be hard.

And my mom was also saying she thinks he could be younger than me by a little, so if that’s the case, I’m definitely gonna be cautious. I’m not really into younger guys, so I’m definitely concerned about that.

All the other times I’d seen him in the past, we’d share some glances of each other and I would always wonder if it was an “i’m-definitely-attracted-to-you” look or something less.

From here on, it’s just an observing and praying game and I’m gonna make sure I play it safe. Before I go on about this boy, lemme focus next on learning his name and age 😂

[nikatyler]

Another week is ending, another replies post is here. Why is it that when there’s a million deadlines waiting for me, time just gets faster? I miss the old days when I had nothing to do. Kinda.

Remember when I rambled a lot in these posts before getting to the actual replies? I have nothing to say this time, other than Roses are coming back (which you’ve probably already noticed). I’m kinda sad to see gen 2 of NSB is truly coming to an end now (in my game, it’s been over for a few months). It was definitely an era and I want to thank everyone who’s been here for this crazy ride. It seems to me like you all enjoyed it way more than I expected. I hope you’ll stay and well, we’ll see them again in a few months. This time, Sunset will be in the spotlight.

I’m talking as if there weren’t a few more days of NSB left in the queue. It’s the FiNaL cOuNtDoWn...idk why I just thought of that song but I’m gonna go listen to it now. If I’m not mistaken, Friday is the last NSB day. Enjoy it.

mysticsheepplant replied to your photoset “Rose, Sammy protect this innocent bean has the voice of an actual...”

I'm exited, I love her

Thanks! ♥ Me too. I didn’t expect to love her so much but then she stole my heart

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Rocket, do you even remember our first meeting? I was beyond pissed...”

:(

Doggos should live forever!

Agreed

@ whoever runs this planet pls make dogs immortal thank you

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Ross: “And like…once I become a vampire, the wrinkles will be gone,...”

Aw Ross can almost be sweet

He’s trying

jackssims replied to your photoset “Hey Lilith…why are you here?”

lajsglkdas Is Lilith going to deliver her brother's baby? Iconic

ikr? She showed up there and I was like “Oh no. Oh nooo. Oh yes. This couldn’t have gotten any better.”

jackssims replied to your photoset “Lilith: “Before we start -” Caleb: “Can we do it now? We can talk...”

sljagfdlks I was like "Lilith's really breaking the 4th wall here" before I even got to the tags and honestly? I'm here for it

This couldn’t have happened without me mentioning this let’s be real

Also, if I’m not mistaken, it will soon be the second anniversary of the original Caleb abduction. The abduction that changed pretty much everything for this blog.

simsandthensome replied to your photoset “I’m blue da ba dee da ba daa Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa,...”

you say that like I don't willingly have this song on my phone in 2019

To be fair now that you say it, I’m surprised I don’t have it on my phone

It’s kind of an annoying song but in the best way

jackssims replied to your photoset “100 baby challenge but it’s with Caleb Vatore and you have to get him...”

Chsbdjdsjjf an iconic concept

madgnomes replied to your photoset “100 baby challenge but it’s with Caleb Vatore and you have to get him...”

I like this idea haha

mysticsheepplant replied to your photoset “100 baby challenge but it’s with Caleb Vatore and you have to get him...”

TBH I wanna do that with Don Lothario

Imagine if I actually did that. Should I? Also, I love the idea of doing that to Don Lothario instead. Don deserves it because he’s kinda the worst.

cafeheart replied to your photoset “Rose, Lydia wants to fight everyone basically an angry chihuahua ...”

looks like a cinnamon roll but will e a t y o u

As in...oh god I didn’t think of that and I hate it but also you’re not wrong. Good point lmao

Me: I’m an innocent child!!!1!1!11!

Also me: immediately thinks of this

tealiah replied to your photoset “Mid-Century Twin Houses I’ve been inspired by people putting multiple...”

This is SO cool!!

Thank you! I tried.

lilleputtu replied to your photoset “To quote one of my favourite P!ATD songs: you looked at death in a...”

Rocket Breeze - Vampire Dog, coming to a NSB near you very soon

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “To quote one of my favourite P!ATD songs: you looked at death in a...”

Yay, long live the pup!

I wish we could have actual vampire dogs. Kinda weird but kinda cool

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Shhh, Lucian. Shhh…come on. Seriously, would you shut up? Your...”

Nice to see some things about Ross haven't changed. He's terrible with kids.

He might be a better person now but deep down in the core, it’s still our good old buddy Ross :D

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “I used to love this kind of cake…why do I hate it now? Caleb can eat...”

This sounds like a clear case of 'be careful what you wish for'.

Yup. But I guess giving up the cake is worth it

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Give me that ball, Rocket! We’ll buy you an age-down treat if...”

Me everytime there's a rocket post: not to be dramatic but I'd die for you my darling boy

Same

melideesim replied to your post “One of the best Not So Berry Simblrs! ��”

I agree with this. I binge-read the entire legacy from start to now yesterday!

GUYS YOU’RE TOO NICE TO ME

Thank you so much! I don’t feel like I’m doing anything special but really, thanks a lot :’)

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Speaking of cakes, Ross is willing to give it a try again.”

I mean...cake! ����

I’ve only now noticed how obsessed my sims are with it

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “If this ain’t the cutest dark form I’ve ever seen”

❤❤❤

aestheicpixels replied to your photoset “If this ain’t the cutest dark form I’ve ever seen”

Awwww

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “If this ain’t the cutest dark form I’ve ever seen”

Awwwww he's the cutest vampire oml ♥ ♥

It wasn’t really my intention to make him look cute, but then he did this and I knew he was trying to be scary but actually...it was just adorable.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Told you this would be the best thing to do. I’ve always told...”

I'm soft for these two tf

We all are

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Ross: “Told you this would be the best thing to do. I’ve always told...”

Can I just say I LOVE that he still has his lighter hair color

I wanted to keep it to show that he’s different now, or something like that. I can’t think of the right word at the moment. Classic Ronnie

aestheicpixels replied to your photo “you’ll be mine”

He's such a cutie!!

This is where he was supposed to look all evil and scary but he’s already failing lmao

jackssims replied to your photo “you’ll be mine”

I thought of this the other day! Foreshadowing in plain sight, I love it

I was wondering if anyone would see it coming or if it would be more like “oh yeah, Halloween, vampires, of course she did that, no big deal, let’s move on”.

fataleromeo replied to your photo “you’ll be mine”

Oh wow, I love this! I don't think I was following you back when it was originally posted. Glad I am now!

♥♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “He’s so cute and I’m dead. Also, I have a headcanon that babies who...”

Aaaawww he's really precious!

In each Form

This was the moment I was suddenly happy Caleb got abducted again

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “This is gay sim twilight I'm living for it”

If twilight was gay I would be into it. Probably. I'm kinda proud that I never had "twilight phase"

I’ve only ever watched the first movie. I don’t remember it too much though. But I remember having like two Twilight posters from teen magazines on my wardrobe when I was about 11 because I wanted to be cool, even though I didn’t really know what it was. I just knew everyone was talking about it.

I also had this idea that “cool kids have posters everywhere” so...yeah. I was a weird kid at that time.

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “Stella: that’s my otp”

Mine too Stella, mine too ♥

They’re everyone’s otp here, aren’t they? :D 

I’ll never forget when I asked who you guys ship Ross with and everyone who replied just said Caleb. There were a few other guesses, but everyone mentioned they were rooting for Caleb. The audience’s love for these two is one of my favourite things about this generation.

is it weird that i just called you guys audience

[janiedean]

My ‘favourite’ thing about them calling you a Nazi apologist is the fact that you’re the one sharing ALL the atrocities Nazis committed. Ironically they’re diminished Nazi crimes and rejecting them as unimportant or simply denying it happened.

no but like the thing is, on one side at this point it’s so absurd I don’t even go there - how the hell you say ‘what a bunch of nazi apologism’ to a post where I literally told you that in europe race has become a banned term exactly because of the nazis using it that way and bringing us to what happened which would mean that if I used it non-ironically *I* would be considered a neonazi by anyone crossing the street but WHATEVER I guess that was a case of purposefully not getting it - but on the other.... like I don’t know who these people talk to irl but like, thing is, while rome’s not usually too right-bent all the neofascist parties/organizations are from here sadly, and I’ve... had classmates whose granddad had a mussolini bust in the house (reportedly but knowing the guy I wouldn’t have been surprised) and who certainly did not think we shared an opinion, I went to a high school where they showed the pianist on january 27th and I can 100% assure you half of the people in the room (300/400) laughed at the scene where the nazis throw out of the window a guy in a wheelchair while arresting the entire building - LAUGHED - and when I asked a classmate (who was also gay but whatever he votes salvini I should have understood at that point that it was a lost case) how the hell he found that funny he backtracks with ‘well come on it was a little bit amusing’ (spoiler: no it wasn’t) and tbh there’s a bunch of reasons why I dropped him like hot coal and that factored into it, I’ve almost came to physical blows with someone on the bus once because she was full-on belting pro-nazi stuff about killing another six million people in concentration camps and tbh I was lucky that was about the only close encounter I had because she wasn’t the kind of neonazi/fascist person who goes to the gym four hours each day and could pound you to pieces (a lot of them sadly do).

like what I’m getting at is that if according to these people yours truly ie someone who a) goes to visit concentration camps b) reads survivors’s memories c) has spent years arguing with the aforementioned negationist classmates who were like ‘meh it’s all fake/jewish people never had it that bad’ d) has openly said that while having Issues with the capital I with the israe/li government I absolutely think it has a right to exist and it should exist also as reparation (or beginning to) for the antisemitism european jewish people had to endure for millennia (linking the reply since the person who said I was a nazi apologist yesterday carefully avoided mentioning that link or reblogging the post WITH THAT LINK), e) would vote far left if she could afford it and given that these days you have to compromise with the center-left party given who’s on the other side feels like she’s not voting left enough and so on.... is a nazi apologist (guess what I’m not like really not)......... I mean, have they ever met a real nazi apologist? on tumblr or irl? because I did and I’m fairly sure I’m not of like any of their opinions.

I mean, just to show off how I’m a nazi apologist in comparison to people on tumblr...

one instance

second instance (this is about the ANNE FRANK IS OVERRATED discourse, wild ride 100%)

third instance of the anne frank discourse in which GUESS WHAT I reblogged a list of crimes against jewish people since the destruction of jerusalem that was compiled by the same user that told me yesterday I was a nazi apologist and in my tags I was like OMG THANK YOU FOR PROVIDING THAT LIST NOW I CAN LINK IT WHENEVER I HAVE TO DISCUSS WITH ANTISEMITES here have the receipt

and that was my personal take on that same OP

there was the time I absolutely didn’t agree with some crazy radical catholic who was pretty damned antisemite

that was my opinion about people who says that the holocaust was a white genocide and so it’s not as important as we make it to be, take two

btw that was the op about the white genocide thing I didn’t comment but I think my tags suffice

I can’t find the OP but it was about people in a london university where some students were doing holocaust denial in spades

this was about a post that got me angry af where someone made a picture with the titanic sinking, the picture with the jewish boy in warsaw getting arrested and a picture of sept 11th and one of a slave galley with a caption ‘WE’RE TOLD TO NEVER FORGET THREE OF THOSE AND TO FORGET JUST ONE GUESS WHY’

like that’s what I found with a ten minute search on my antisemitism/holocaust tags but like, I am the nazi apologist now? I’m really not worrying that much because she slammed that accusation at the bottom of a post that if anyone reads it forreal could never be taken as such but like, if that means nazi apologism idk what they think of the people I was replying to. never mind the real neonazi/fascist people I had the displeasure of meeting/interacting with irl but. *shrug*

like, if they really want to play that song, fine. but honestly, I really just would like to know how they classify nazi apologies because given that I actually agreed with them going against the same person downplaying the holocaust/pretty much doing nazi apologism then... I mean what the hell do I even do except laughing?

btw I’ve been told that someone is sending anon asks to a certain person saying I’m trash talking her and I’d like to state that a) I wasn’t the one preventively blocking people, b) I haven’t blocked that person, c) I wasn’t the one posting screencaps of replies they gave with the name/my url on it and circulating it as ‘LOOK AT THOSE RACIST PEOPLE YOU SHOULD PUT IN THE BLOCK LIST’, I only ever brought up the receipts with the username the moment she did that with me first and I couldn’t defend myself because she blocked me.

so. *shrug* I’ve said my piece and honestly I’d like to think we can get back to proper fandom blogging now and drop this discourse but like I really don’t appreciate being talked behind my back without people not even engaging directly with me when they have a problem with what I say.