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corie-the-writer · 4 years ago

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Won’t Let Go - Ch. 4

Tag List : @talicat713 @itsdesiree86 @halsteadsway @itmejado @toomuchtv95 @panaitbeatrice

Chapter 4

Sophia had a blast at the cabin even though a part of her had missed spending time with Jay, especially since she had left right after they had sex for the first time. She had promised herself to make the most of the girl time with Sylvie, Stella, Emily and Kim in the cabin for the weekend.

The girls had spent their days in the sun on the lake, even though it was starting to change from summer to fall, the day time the weather was still warm enough to enjoy the water. At night, they had spent their time drinking wine, watching movies and just lounging around.

Sophia had text Jay the night they had arrived letting him know that they had arrived safely, and they were exhausted from the drive, they had headed to bed early to enjoy the next two days of doing absolutely nothing. The next morning Sophia had woken up to a picture text from Jay, he was giving her a pouty face claiming to smell like her perfume, and expressing that he was tempted to crash their trip to steal her away. Her heart swelled with the declaration, but promising to spend an entire evening with him once she had gotten back.

During the day, Stella had convinced a group of young men to take them out on a boat, which was a lot of fun. They had learned to water board, each taking turns with one of the guys teaching them. There were a round of photos of each girl, and Sophia had sent a picture to Jay, showing him what she had learned. He had questioned who the man was on the board next to her, and she had decided to tease him a bit, and realized that he was a cute amount of jealous. Jay had sent her a number of photos the first day, one of him laying in bed shirtless, explaining that he had absolutely no plans, and then another photo later that night when he was at Molly's, saying that Kevin and Adam had hauled him out for a guys night since he was moping around.

The second day Sophia had decided to spend time with just the girls, sending a text to Jay, letting him know that she wasn't ignoring him, but just wanted to stay present on their final day away.

That day the girls had went to a cook out where the young men from the boat had invited them, since they were quite younger than them, they had introduced the girls to their parents, and some of the family members that were around, along with their friends. Once the cook out was over, they had went back to their cabin to swim around at the lake and lay out in the sun, just enjoying the scenery and peace around them for the better part of the afternoon. Once the sun had went down, they had decided to have a bonfire for a little while, enjoying a nice bottle of wine, and then headed inside to have girl talk. Sophia had been questioned about her relationship with Jay, and not really knowing the title of what they were, she admitted that they had slept together the day she had left for the trip.

Later that evening once everyone was winding down for bed, Sophia had gotten the idea to call Jay while being a little tipsy.

"Hey beautiful..." Jay began to answer the phone call but Sophia had cut him off with a frustrated sigh.

"So what exactly are we?" Sophia questioned, "I've been drinking, the girls started asking what was going on between us and I'm just as confused as them." Sophia admitted, "Like is this just a hook-up?" Sophia started throwing out different labels causing Jay to let out a small laugh.

"Babe, will you let me talk?" Jay questioned into the cell phone.

"S..Sorry..." Sophia mumbled.

"I like you Soph...a lot..." Jay started out and Sophia had let the wine brain take over and immediately thought the worst.

"Oh god..." Sophia had stopped him, "I shouldn't have called..." Sophia grumbled smacking herself in the forehead, thinking that he was going to tell her that he wasn't interested in anything, "I'll let you go..." Sophia quickly added, she was slightly aware of Jay saying her name, but she had hung up the phone too quickly.

Sophia tossed her phone onto the bed in the cabin and heard the phone ringing from the mattress. Sophia cringed not thinking clearly with the amount of alcohol she had consumed through that day, well into the evening. The ringing stopped after a moment and then started back up again causing Sophia to stand up from the bed and looked at the cell phone as if it were going to grow legs and walk to her. Once the ringing had stopped, she was expecting it to start again and she let out a sigh of relief once it remained silent in her small room.

Deciding to walk around in circles, Sophia had put her hands on her head trying to figure out what to do next, and she jumped and screamed when the door blew open to see Stella Kidd and Kim Burgess standing in the doorway with a cell phone in hand.

"What the hell was that?!" Jay's voice came through the speaker phone of Kim's phone.

"That was Sophia being drunk." Stella answered, "Now Sophia you're going to sit on that bed and listen to what Halstead has to say." Stella pointed to the bed with a stern look on her face and Sophia rolled her eyes and practically stomped to the bed. Once she had sat on the bed, Kidd leaned closer to the phone, "Go ahead Halstead."

"Soph?" Jay's voice was gentle as he spoke over the phone, "I was saying that I really like you, a lot. I wanted to wait until you got back to have this conversation, but I want to make things official between us." Jay explained awkwardly, knowing that Kim and Stella were both listening.

"Really?" Sophia's mouth dropped for a moment.

"Yes really." Jay chuckled, "Do you think that you could call me so we can talk privately? No offense to Kidd and Burgess." Jay added.

Sophia's cheeks were completely flushed in embarrassment but agreed to call him on her phone. Once Stella had confirmed to Jay that they would be back in town at eight thirty in the morning that coming morning, they said their goodbyes.

Sophia had called Jay and was overly quiet, "I am so embarrassed right now." Sophia had admitted as she laid in the bed with Jay's hoodie on her, "I can't believe I'm wine drunk right now and turned into one of those people I loathe." Jay couldn't help but to laugh, "How much have you drank?" Jay questioned fighting back a yawn, already knowing that he had the next two days off.

"Well, we've been drinking off and on since noon." Sophia admitted, "I don't think I am going to drink another drop of alcohol as long as I live."

"That bad huh?" Jay chuckled, "Are you going to remember any of this conversation?" Jay questioned.

"Oh I'll remember everything, I'll just have one hell of a hang over, and apparently wine makes me lose all common sense." Sophia explained, "So I'm really sorry for just jumping to conclusions. I sort of just panicked."

"Well it's going on 2 in the morning and you guys are leaving in a couple of hours to head back, so you need to try to get a little bit of rest. So just know this, I want you to be my girlfriend, and I'll be waiting at your apartment for you tomorrow morning bright and early, and we are not leaving that bed for the next two days. Okay?" Jay spoke quietly and confidently, "And tomorrow once you've gotten the liquor out of your system we will talk, alright?"

Sophia chuckled lightly, "Okay..."

"Try to get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night Jay."

"Good night baby."

Sophia had felt the heaviness of her eyes, the smell of Jay's cologne lingering on the hoodie that she was wearing. Not caring in the moment that her skin was sun burnt causing her to be slightly cold as she lulled herself to sleep.

The three and a half hours of sleep that Sophia had gotten was not enough to sleep off any of the alcohol that she had consumed. She had been grateful that Stella had shoved a large to go cup of coffee into her face as she got settled into the passenger seat of the jeep. Sophia was silently grateful that she wasn't the only one who was massively hung over.

"So what did Jay say to you last night?" Stella questioned as she stopped off at a McDonalds for them to grab food for the ride back to town.

"I uh...he said that he wanted me to be his girlfriend, and that he would be waiting at my place for me this morning." Sophia commented, "I'm trying to not get my hopes up because I think I'll be really sad if he's not actually there." Sophia added quietly, sleep filling her voice.

"I think you'd be surprised." Stella commented as she pulled up to the window to grab the bags of food and drinks, "I've seen the way the guy looks at you since the moment he met you." Stella commented thanking the woman at the drive thru, then slowly pulling off, "I think he thinks you've personally hung the moon."

"I just...I've never felt this way before. With Noah it was different. That was pure lust, but with Jay, it's lust and emotions, like everything all tied into one." Sophia explained grabbing the french fries she had ordered after taking a drink of her sweet tea, "I mean, everything is just different. When I'm with him, it's just like this huge sense of peace. It scares me because I don't know him all that well."

"Well think about it like this..." Stella spoke with food in her mouth as she began driving on the high way, "He's a cop, a detective at that, so he has no criminal record which is a huge plus. He's served his country, and he's got a super level head on his shoulders. I mean hell, he punched a dude for grabbing your ass before he even introduced himself to you." Stella pointed out causing Sophia to laugh as she stuffed her mouth with more fries.

"Okay, you gotta point." Sophia commented, "I think just with everything that happened with Noah, it's sort of made me apprehensive towards anyone." Sophia added.

"Have you heard from him any?" Stella questioned.

"No. Thankfully he had gotten mad enough when I left that he said, 'if you walk out that door do not think about coming back to me' like I had planned on it or something." Sophia chuckled fishing into the bag for her other food.

"So I take it you haven't told Jay about Noah?"

"What am I suppose to say?" Sophia questioned, "Hey Jay, I met this guy when I was traveling and I fell in love with his dick, and we have such great sex it turned into a toxic relationship, oh and he's a criminal but I'm not quite sure what he does exactly?" Sophia added causing Stella to snort with laughter.

"Well I don't think I'd go that route, but obviously the relationship with Noah has caused a little bit of problems for you in trusting others, especially men." Stella suggested and Sophia gave a nod.

"I'm sure I'll figure out what to tell him exactly when the time comes for it to be brought up. I still am not quite sure how to even dive into that entire experience." Sophia took a drink of her tea after finishing her hamburger, "Enough about me, how are you and Severide?" Sophia questioned.

"We're really good." Stella smiled, "We are thinking about moving in together." Stella added and Sophia squealed with excitement, "We have been talking about it but we haven't quite decided yet what we're looking for in a house, so we sort of just pushed it to the back burner for the time being."

"I'm so happy for you Stella! I think he's so good for you." Sophia grinned, leaning back into the seat, "Oh god, I can't tell if eating that food made me more intoxicated or more delirious." Sophia groaned, realizing that it was the lack of sleep doing it.

"Well rest your eyes for a bit, we got about an hour left." Stella suggested looking towards the brunette, "It's fine Soph. You don't need to keep me company. It'll give me some time to annoy Kelly." Kidd commented.

Sophia gave a nod and reclined the passenger seat just a little and rested her head against the head piece and closed her eyes, and before she knew it she was out cold.

"Baby..." Sophia started to stir at the familiar voice, "Come on, open those eyes..." His voice was so gentle and quiet, causing Sophia to flutter her eyes open to see Jay Halstead in front of her.

"You're here..." Sophia had commented lowly.

"I told you I would be. Come on, let's get you inside and to bed." Jay ran a gentle hand across her cheek, then reached for her hand. Sophia had raised herself gently realizing her back was a little more sore because of the sunburn, and allowed Jay to help her out of the jeep.

"Oh god..." Sophia groaned, "I need to shower."

"Girl, I feel you." Stella agreed from the driver's seat, "I'll talk to you later Soph."

"Bye Stella..." Sophia closed her eyes for a moment trying to focus her vision, "Oh wait my bags..." Sophia added as Stella began to drive off.

"I already got them and put them upstairs." Jay chuckled wrapping his arm around her lower back, "Come on, I'll carry you." Jay added, "It looks like you're about to drop to the ground."

"I feel like I'm about to drop to the ground." Sophia chuckled lightly, slightly squealing as Jay moved to lift her bridal style and carried her around the building to the side door that led to her apartment.

"I wanna shower and then sleep for the next day." Sophia winced as Jay began to tread up the stairs, causing Jay to look at her in concern, "I got sunburnt yesterday, I'm a little sore." Sophia explained and Jay frowned a little as he reached for the door handle.

"Here." Jay sat Sophia on her feet, "Go take a shower and get changed. I'm gonna go change into sweatpants." Jay commented as Sophia stumbled into the living room and towards the bathroom.

Sophia had turned the shower on warm water, and stripped out of her clothes and let them fall to the floor. Noticing the tan lines, Sophia knew that this shower was going to suck tremendously, so she had decided to brush her teeth before setting pain to her skin.

Once she had stepped into the shower and the initial pain had left she had turned the water a little warmer, and shampooed her hair, and then washed her body carefully, and then washed her face. She felt someone normal but was dead tired. After standing in the shower for a moment, she had turned the water off, grabbed a towel for her body and then a towel for her hair.

Drying herself off carefully, Sophia had emptied her bladder, washed her hands and then headed into her bedroom to get dressed for bed. She had went to her drawers to grab a pair of panties and slipped them on, and then dropped the towel and Jay nearly gasped at how burnt she was.

"Baby, do you have any aloe?" Jay questioned as he sat up in bed.

"I'm not sure... the shower took the sting out of it, so it's not nearly as bad." Sophia had towel dried her hair before grabbing Jay's gray police shirt that was on the floor from him taking it off to get into bed, and slipped it on, and then tilted her head to put her damp hair in a bun, so it was out of her face.

Climbing into the bed after turning on her fan, Sophia had stretched out her body and then curled up against Jay as he reached for the night stand lamp, and then wrapped his arms around her carefully. It didn't take long for the both of them to submit to the sleep they had been craving.

#nbc chicago pd #detective jay halstead #jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead one shot #jay halstead x oc #jay halstead x you #wont let go series #wont let go chapter four

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houkagokappa · 5 years ago

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YURIZANMAI

Here’s my translation of Yurizanmai by Morishima Akiko for the Sarazanmai Anthology!

I finished it the same week the Anthology came out, but then I completely forgot about posting it since I’ve been trying to spend less time online. Sorry about that!

I hope you like it, it manages to add the one thing to Sarazanmai that it was still lacking in order to become absolute perfection - lesbians!!!

Pg 1

Text: The night we defeated the first Kappa Zombie Text: we got a Dish of Hope. Plate: Hope Text: And then… Keppi: This Dish of Hope will grant you any wish, ribbit.

Tooi: Don’t tell stupid lies. Enta: Any wish? Enta: No waaay~ Keppi: It’s true, ribbit.

Enta: For real!? Well then, SFX: Haha Enta: eeeveryone in the whooole world becomes a girl ☆ Enta: Just kidd…

SFX: fwoosh Plate: Eeeeveryone girl

SFX: scatter Enta: …ing.

Title: Morishima Akiko – Yurizanmai

Pg2

Tooi: !? Kazuki/SFX: What?! Kazuki: Natural hair! Enta: Wha.. Keppi: It has been granted, ribbit ♥ Text: We ended up becoming women. Title: Yurizanmai

Pg3

Bubble: WHAT THE HELL!!!

Text: We can’t understand all life’s occurrences. Sara: G’morning ☆

Sara: Today’s lucky selfie item is… Sara: Yuri, dish ☆ TL note: Yuri as in lily the flower (but also lesbians) Plate: Yuri Large banner text: Lucky Selfie Item Small banner text: No way, I’m surprised YURIZANMAI got the OK. Thank you.

Text: This isn’t a reward, falling in love with my teammate, turning into kappa…

Text: Turning into girls… Enta: Girls’ breasts are in the way! Enta: The bra is tight and my shoulders are stiff. SFX: sigh

Pg4

Tooi: THIS IS YOUR FAULT!! Tooi: Fuck, I can feel a breeze on my crotch!! Enta: Buuut~ Enta: It was only a joke~ Kazuki: It’ll be a relief not having to wear a wig, Kazuki: but a pain to need so much shampoo.

SFX: Ah Enta: That’s right, here… Tooi: ? Enta: I have a share of my sisters SFX: *rustle rustle*

Text: Menstrual pads.

Enta: Wouldn’t it be troublesome if we’d get it suddenly? Enta: Hey Kazuki, you too… huh? Kazuki: Yuri flowers… Kazuki: Eh, they don’t have them?

Kazuki: Has this flower shop sold out all the yuri flowers too? Kazuki: Yeah… Kazuki: What should I do about today’s mission…?

Pg5

Enta: I’ll help you search for them. Kazuki: Eh? But I’d feel bad. Enta: Don’t. We’re the Golden Combo, right? Enta: As men or as women!

Enta: Something like gender doesn’t matter… Kazuki: It matters a lot!

Kazuki: I mean… Enta as a girl… Kazuki: Is so insanely cute Kazuki: my heart is pounding.

Enta: What? SFX: ba-dump SFX: *lean*

Kazuki: If me and Enta would kiss Enta: Umm Kazuki: now that we’re both girls Kazuki: that’d be “yuri”, wouldn’t it? Enta: !!

Pg6

Enta: Th-th-th… That’s right! We-we-we… We have no other choice for the sake of the mission! Kazuki: Not for the sake of the mission. Kazuki: I just want to kiss you Enta.

Enta: Re.. Really? Kazuki: Really. Kazuki: Enta I…

Kazuki: love you ♥ Text: Yuri... Kiss… ♥♥♥

Tooi: Doesn’t our schools flower bed have some? Kazuki: Is that so? I’m off!! SFX: *dash*

Enta: I knew it was a delusion… SFX: *slump*

Pg7

SFX: *pow*

Tooi: …Hey. Tooi: Don’t kick the ball in a skirt. Enta: I’m wearing leggings like my sister told me to ♪

Tooi: …Hey. Tooi: What’s Yasaka doing all those things for? Tooi: Who’s Harukappa?

Enta: I think it’s probably Haruka. Enta: Kazuki’s precious little brother. Enta: Oh right, now it’s her little sister.

Kazuki: The school didn’t have anything but cucumbers, dish~☆ Tooi: His precious… little brother.

Pg8

Kazuki: I have no choice but to try my luck at some flower shop in Asakusa… SFX: sigh

Tooi: I’ll help! Enta: What?

Enta: Kuji’s a good guy!? Enta: Eeeeh Enta: That’s surprising Tooi: I’m free today, that’s all…

Enta: What’s this? Just when I thought we’d be alone with Kazuki… Don’t get in the way.

SFX: gasp Enta: It can’t be…

Enta: Did Kuji fall in love with Kazuki once he turned into a girl!? Kazuki: Thank you! Kazuki: I’ll give you this cucumber

SFX: Grrrrrrrrrr Enta: ………….

Pg9

Text: Eeeeveryone in the whooole world becomes a girl ☆ Text: Of course that wasn’t a serious wish. Text: It was just a joke Text: However…

Text: [Kaisou] Text: O Flashback X Seaweed

Enta: Wow cuuute~ Enta: Are these your photos from when you went to middle school? Text: National Tennis Championship Enta: So you were in the tennis club? Kazuki’s mom: Yes. Kazuki’s mom: We made it pretty far in the doubles together with my senpai.

Pg10

Haruka: You were the Golden Combo! Haruka: Like Kazu-chan and Enta-oniichan. Enta: Are you still playing tennis together with your senpai?

Kazuki’s mom: No Kazuki’s mom: I haven’t seen my senpai in over 10 years.

Kazuki’s mom: But you know Kazuki’s mom: Me and my senpai are still connected.

Kazuki’s mom: A real connection will continue to shine forever without vanishing, even if you are separated. SFX: flip Text: Wedding/in the waiting room before the ceremony

Kazuki’s mom: And then that light will shine on the next new connection…

Pg11

Kazuki’s mom: Even when we aren’t near. Kazuki’s mom: Even when we don’t meet. Kazuki’s mom: Me and my senpai are connected through that light. Kazuki’s mom: We always will be.

Enta: ……. Enta: I was a little jealous.

Enta: If Kazuki and I were women Enta: I wouldn’t be at the mercy of something such as desires, like men are. Enta: Even though my feelings are pure, I wonder if we can connect.

Pg12

Reo: Tee-hee ♪ My make-up turned out beautifully! Reo: The perfect policewoman is complete~♥

Mabu: Let’s go investigate what caused this sudden change of gender.

Sara: The Prince is lovely even as a Princess, dish ♥ Keppi: It’s a pair-look, ribbit. Reo: I have like no idea how we got turned into women so suddenly~ Reo: The only thing I know for sure is that…

Reo: I’m beyond gorgeous as a woman ♥ Reo: Tee-hee-hee Mabu: Reo, even ever since you were a man you’ve been more beautiful than anyone else.

Pg13

Reo: Wha- What, it’s unusual for you to give compliments.

Mabu: I’m not giving compliments, I’m stating a fact. Mabu: I’m not concerned as far as appearances go, beautiful or ugly, it doesn’t matter.

Reo: So you don’t care whether I’m beautiful or ugly. Reo: Hmph

Mabu: That’s right Text: Beautiful or ugly Text: Man or woman Text: I’m in love with Reo

Text: I want to tell you that, and yet…

Text: In the end however, no matter if I’m a man or a woman, my desire for Kazuki didn’t vanish. Enta: I’m delusional. I’m jealous. Enta: I still want to lick the recorder. SFX: Aaaah

Pg14

Enta: Still, I wouldn’t change these feelings. Enta: Even as a girl I’m in love with Kazuki!

Enta: I’m sorry Kazuki, yuri flowers are sold out everywhere… Kazuki: Enta? Kazuki: Look, look!

Kazuki: Kuji found them for me, dish ♥ Kazuki: They were dropped behind a funeral home SFX: squeeze Tooi: Hey, don’t cling to me so much Tooi: It’s soft

Enta: Kujiiiiiiiii SFX: roar

Pg15

Bubble: Huh? SFX: whoosh

SFX: swish Bubble: Aaah

Kazuki: My yuri!! Sara: For our next news story, dish ☆

Sara: An incident has occurred all around Asakusa with yuri flowers taking flight. Sara: Gao, gao~☆ Banner: Yuri, flying! Don’t back down on love TL note: They’re using a word for flying that’s pronounced “shounin” just like “approved” from YKA was. Banner: This YURIZANMAI is fiction, dish. It has absolutely no relation to the official SARAZANMAI.

Tooi: This time the desire is yuri Tooi: A yuri-zombie, huh? Enta: Everyone… Enta: Let’s turn into kappa Kazuki: Yeah Bubble: There’s something I have to take back

Pg16

Text: Before Kuji falls in love with female Kazuki Text: I’ll use the Dish of Hope to turn Kazuki back to male! Text: And in order to do that… Bubble: Let’s go!

Text: Yurizanmai

Otter: Continues in the sequel Otter: Usso☆ (Lies)

END

#sarazanmai #sarazanmai anthology #minna de sarazanmai #yurizanmai #morishima akiko #sarazanmai nonsense #my translation #i'm so sorry i forgot about this #especially since i had it all done and all #i only needed to post it #and maybe reread it #i will never stop editing these things

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neverwatchedonepiece · 6 years ago

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603-604: "Launching the Counter Attack! Luffy and Law's Great Escape!" and "Get to Building R! The Pirate Alliance's Great Advance!"

DING, DING, DING! It’s round two. And you know Luffy ain’t playing this time.

Not a huge amount happened over episodes 603 and 604. Still, the episodes were essential. The story needed a transition phase to tie up the plot threads and set everything up for the final push against Caesar.

Everyone is safe inside the lab, the Strawhats are all accounted for (sans Chopper, who is still in Caesar’s lounge), Luffy is in an alliance with Trafalgar Law and - I never thought I’d say this - Vice-Admiral Smoker of the Marines!

Actually, what the hell am I talking about?

Loads of big things happened.

Including this sweet and juicy nugget of off-island context that has me rubbing my hands with glee.

Juicy Opening Reveal Alert!

Attention: Kidd, Hawkins and Scratchman Apoo are discussing an alliance. This is not a drill.

It started out fairly innocuously. I say “fairly”. The Brokers and Dodgy Characters of the OPverse were kicking back and watching Caesar’s madness play out. Pekoms and Tamago had some lines, so I focused in on them.

“How did those big names get caught by Caesar?” Pekoms asked. “So that’s where they are now. What should we do?”

“We wait a bit and see how things play out,” Tamago answered.

This was a teeny tiny scene. But it was interesting. Why? It revealed Pekoms and Tamago know Caesar by name. Maybe Caesar introduced himself to his audience and I missed it, but if he didn’t, then that’s interesting.

After that, the action switched back to Kidd, who had also been watching Caesar’s broadcast. Kidd has earned himself a 470 million bounty, which is impressive. His right hand man, Killer, has a 200 million bounty. Less impressive. Kidd seemed happy Luffy had finally made some moves. He switched off the feed. “You’re not the kind of guy who wants to play an arms dealer, are you Killer?”

Not sure what Kidd meant by that. Does he mean Killer’s not interested in what Caesar has to offer? Or that he doesn’t want to get involved with an obvious head case like Caesar?

They walked off through their extra edgy hideout complete with gloomy paint job and atmospheric candelabras (lol). They discussed Law and his shenanigans on Punk Hazard. Kidd couldn’t believe they were all there together. He thought Law had lost his mind when he became the World Government’s lapdog. But now... Law was definitely up to something. Kidd does not want to fall behind, so they’d have to make a move too.

Upon opening the door an explosion boomed them right in the face. It was Scratchman! At first I thought, is this an assassination attempt? Then the camera panned to Hawkins and I thought.... okay, so a team-assassination attempt?

Nope. Killer had called them to Kidd’s hideout to discuss forming an alliance.

This is cool. I like this seemingly random development. Oda has made a good move here showing the other rookies in the Worst Generation are also working hard behind the scenes. They’re in the New World now. The Yonko are a-callin’. If they don’t team up, they’ll be destroyed. (R.I.P. Gangster Pirate dude and dinosaur guy. Still not sure what Urouge is up to.)

I kind of hope their alliance works a little more smoothly than the Strawhat/Heart Pirate alliance does at the moment. xD

Just Get Out of the Damned Cage, I Don’t Even Care Anymore...

There are a few teething problems but I’m sure Law has now realised that Luffy is a major loose cannon and will learn how to point him in the right direction. Maybe. At some point. In the distant future. (Ahh, that golden moment when Robin and Franky straight up told Law not to turn his back on Luffy because he’ll be off like a rocket, yelling their secret plans at the top of his lungs.)

Law’s cunning plan from the episode 402 cliffhanger was revealed. It was surprisingly simple and dangerous. But then if it’s not dangerous, is it really a good One Piece plan?

Absolutely not.

Law asked if anyone could set the nearby broken ship on fire. Franky obliged.(That fireball was badass, by the way. Just need that on record.) Once the rising smoke had obscured Caesar’s view of the cage, Law revealed his sneaky ruse. While he had freeloaded at Caesar’s house, he swapped most of the seastone chains with normal ones. Law broke free from his and freed Luffy, Robin and Franky.

Once he had failed to convince Luffy to stop cheering like a madman, Law dealt with a spot of business.

Smoker and Tashigi. They knew too much. They knew Joker’s real identity. He had their destiny in his hands. I knew he wouldn’t kill them (not evidence for that, I just didn’t think Oda would go there) but I was not prepared for what would happen next.

Law unshambled them and struck a deal: he would spare their lives because if they made it back to Marine HQ it would make life difficult for Vergo. In exchange, Smoker and Tashigi were to FORGET everything they had heard about Law and Joker. This was not a favour. It was a condition of their release.

Now, this had me bewildered. Why, if Law is no longer working for Doflamingo, is he still protecting the guy? If Doflamingo goes down, then surely Vergo will also go down and the whole operation will fall to pieces? Unless what you guys hinted at is bigger than I thought and Doflamingo has so many side hustles that some Marines being mad at him is small potatoes.

At any rate, the deal was accepted, despite Smoker’s pride, because of Tashigi’s sense of duty and practicality overcame it. She basically said, “Yes, untie us for the love of god. We need to live because if we don’t, we can’t save our people from Vergo and we can’t rescue Caesar’s experiment kiddies!”

So the deal was done. The neatness of Law’s plan was totally ruined when Luffy bent the bars of the cage and pinged out in a fit of enthusiasm. Then Franky basically turned to Law and said, “Yeah, I’m gonna pass on the plan. I’m off to look after Sunny.”

Then he farted himself out of the plot.

I think I just made a new sentence there.

Deal done, Law roomed them all to the back door, whereupon the sneaked inside the lab and pulled a Very Important Lever that meant the Fodder Marines outside did not die a horrible, painful death from Caesar’s chemical weapon.

Yay!

And there was this great, dramatic reveal moment.

Look. Look at this Beautiful Shot

While Luffy, Law and Smoker stood with their backs to Caesar’s bemused minions like total badasses, the poison gas rolled over the island.

Zoro, Sanji, Brook and Foxfire still hadn’t caught up to the dragon. However, Sanji because super motivated by tits and found a sudden burst of speed. The only thing was, the dragon wasn’t quite good enough on its own. It was tiring too.

Luckily, Nami and Usopp rode up on the back of Brownbeard and caught Brook just as he fell off the dragon. They all leapt on Brownbeard’s back (dragon included) and galloped to the front door.

Which was rapidly closing, as the Marines had all scuttled safely inside!

Indoors, the Marines squinted. What was that white, powdery cloud in the distance approaching at speed?

It was the rest of the Strawhats trying really damned hard not to die.

Zoro and Kinemon teamed up to slash the doors and force their way in. I thought it was majorly dumb at first (to be fair, so did most of the other characters). But the Fodder Marines patched up the hole with a speed that makes me think they’ve missed their calling and should be flipping houses instead.

Still think the gas would probably seep through those gaps but maybe Caesar’s got some wicked air filtration system going on. I mean, it is a state of the art lab specialising in chemical weapons research.

Have I Left the Stove On?

There was a moment after the Strawhats reunited where the action cut to a shot of the devastation Caesar’s weapon had wreaked across Punk Hazard.

If you thought the island was screwed before, it’s beyond help now. Utterly Pompeii’d. Every inch of it is covered in petrifying, poisonous ash. There is nowhere on Punk Hazard that is now habitable. Caesar took immense pride in this achievement. Some people just love destroying stuff, right? The only thing that survived outside was a single DDM protected by a bubble for Caesar’s broadcast.

Brook’s ghostly form confirmed it. Going outside would be a Bad Idea.

Inside, a lot of guns were pointed at the Strawhats and Brownbeard (Brownbeard was just pleased the Marines had remembered his name. Awww...you’re infamous now, Brownbeard. Just like Luffy. Enjoy it!)

Once the plot threads and outstanding issues of the whole reuniting scene were dealt with (Law unshambled Nami and Sanji and also told Smoker not to let his men stand in the way of the pirates), the plan to fight back against Caesar and escape the hell of Punk Hazard began.

As Law had been a guest at Caesar’s Weird Hotel, he knew the layout of the labs. They were in the foyer of Building A. To escape, they must force a path through to Building B, the large central area. There, they would find a gate at the back leading to Building R and a door marked R-66. Behind that door, is a passage to the sea that would be unaffected by any poison gas.

Law declared he’d rather not have to create a massacre, but could only give everyone about two hours. To anyone staying longer than that, Law could not guarantee their safety.

And the idiots still tried to attack the Strawhats, so I don’t have much hope for them.

One of the most interesting scenes here was the one between Zoro and Luffy. While fighting Marines, Usopp updated Zoro on what had happened. Caesar had soloed everyone with his de-oxygenation trick. Even Luffy had fallen for it. Zoro took that hard. He had flashbacks to Sabaody, to everything he had trained for in the past two years. What the hell? How could Luffy just lose like that?

Luffy (who had hatched a secret plan with Robin I know nothing about yet because Oda did let us hear it), was heading for the next room. Zoro caught him before Luffy barged his way through.

“LUFFY! GET A GRIP. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW WORLD!”

And Luffy replied, “YEAH, SORRY. I WON’T LET MY GUARD DOWN AGAIN.”

Then he tried out a hilariously dumb UFO move on the Fodder Marines and Zoro performed a mental facepalm.

I liked that glimpse of the relationship between Luffy and Zoro there. Sometimes, even though Zoro has his moments, he’s always there to give Luffy a kick up the arse and deliver some home truths on occasion. And because Luffy respects Zoro, he will take them on board and acknowledge them. But of course he’ll still have a damned good time and try out dumb moves on fodders because when else can you do that, am I right?

He Did Not Leave The Stove On

In the lounge, Caesar was about to take a special delivery from the Bad News Fairy.

One of the nice things about Caesar is that he is not a total dumbass. He looked at that cage. He noticed there were no petrified bodies clawing at the front door. He *knew* something wasn’t quite right. He asked Monet and Vergo. Vergo actually hypothesised that the Strawhats had broken free and helped the Fodder Marines escape too. But Caesar ignored him.

Then the Bad News Fairy arrived. A minion burst through the door. “Master! All of the enemies have entered the lobby with Strawhat Luffy in the lead!”

You all probably remember Spandam and Enel and those golden freakout faces. Caesar is giving them a run for their money. I love how he can shift seamlessly from twirling round the room in joyful glee, to “wait a minute....” suspicion, followed by shrieking outrage.

Two in-universe hours, Caesar. That’s how long you have.

Can’t wait to see what nasty tricks you’ll pull in your increasingly futile attempts to cling to power in Punk Hazard.

And they will be futile, because if there’s one thing we all know about Luffy, it’s that he always, always learns from his mistakes.

He is going to kick your ass and kidnap you.

At least he recycles?

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johnnymundano · 5 years ago

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Kolobos (AKA Haunted House) (1999)

Directed by Daniel Liatowitsch and David Todd Ocvirk

Screenplay by Nne Ebong, Daniel Liatowitsch and David Todd Ocvirk

Music by William Kidd

Country: United States

Running Time: 84 minutes

CAST

Amy Weber as Kyra

Donny Terranova as Tom

Nichole Pelerine as Erica

John Fairlie as Gary

Promise LaMarco as Tina

Ilia Volok as Faceless

Simms Thomas as Dr. Waldman

Todd Beadle as Dr. Jurgen

Mari Weiss as Lucille

Jonathan Rone as Carl

Linnea Quigley as Dorothy

Ivan Battee as Det. Byers

Kolobos may sound like the name of one of those aliens in The Simpsons but it’s actually a low budget horror movie from 1999. Like most of the characters in it, Kolobos is doomed. Unfortunately for the viewer it is a doomed attempt to fill 84 minutes with something interesting. Unfortunately for the characters involved Kolobos’ booby-trapped kitchen is more interesting than any of them. The mention of said killer kitchen allows me to segue seamlessly into a poorly thought through food metaphor. Like some particularly unsatisfactory cinematic sandwich, in Kolobos the less than fresh meat of the matter turns out to be mostly gristle, slapped between a prologue and epilogue, which if they were bread would be the cheap kind mostly composed of air and sugar. Right from the needlessly protracted start, the frantic desperation to reach a respectable running time infects every second of Kolobos’ meagre 84 minutes.

A mutilated young woman is run down on a rainy night-time street and finds herself in a hospital bed being asked questions by the police. Unfortunately no matter the question, the only answer she can give is – “Kolobos”, which is less than helpful (unless you are Greek). The movie flashbacks to a few days prior to a group of extroverted young adults meeting at a house to take part in an experimental film, which will record their interpersonal shenanigans over the next few months. Everything is fizzy pop fun, pizzas and video marathons until nightfall, when the house suddenly becomes a prison and booby traps start picking off the discombobulated goofballs. The line between life and death is starkly marked even as the line between reality and nightmare blurs. Unfortunately Kolobos remains intractably stranded on the wrong side of a third line, the line between good and bad.

The group are made up of loud jackasses, but that’s not really the problem; that’s exactly the kind of people who would be chosen for a reality nonsense show. See: every Reality TV show ever. Points to Kolobos there, but lose points, Kolobos, because it’s hard to root for anyone out of a group that resemble nothing more than the antic spirit of Matthew Lillard inhabiting a number of different masks. Kyra (Amy Weber) is the hypersensitive self-harmer on release from an institution, who draws sub-Clive Barker pictures and hallucinates violently unless she takes her special pills. Tom (Donny Terranova; fantastic surname, Donny) is a terrible stand-up comedian with terrible stand-up comedian’s hair, who has worse delivery than a comatose postman. Erica (Nichole Pelerine) is a terrible actress who dresses like a ‘90s Republican mother of two. Gary (John Fairlie) is a pretentious berk who mistakes overthinking things for intelligence. Tina (Promise LaMarco) is an alarmingly bubbly bundle of “fun” who is the most terrifying thing about Kolobos, as she is physically and temperamentally a dead ringer for someone my mate knocked about with back in the ‘90s. Admittedly, this reaction may not be shared by every viewer of Kolobos (unless she really got about). Linnea Quigley turns up for approximately 2 fully dressed minutes as a woman who can’t smile convincingly; Kolobos is definitely one for die-hard Linnea Quigley completists then.

With the characters essentially being nails-down-a-chalkboard it’s down to their deaths to lift the viewers’ spirits. And they are...okay. There’s a fair level of imagination and a keen desire to gross you out; unfortunately there’s not enough spondoolicks, so the impact depends a lot on your goodwill. There was some imagination at play so I was happy to roll with it. The most affecting sequences were probably the cheapest: some cool visuals of silhouettes distorted by cloth/glass and backlit by lurid colours. These were really creepy bits, but this is unsurprising as these were also really creepy bits when they were in in Suspiria (1977), which is where Kolobos got the idea. Kolobos does not come out of the unavoidable comparison well. Reflected glory is always booby trapped. If you say you knew Elvis, yes, people will pay you more attention, but only to ask about Elvis rather than you. Kolobos never learns this lesson and insists on actively prodding comparisons to other, better movies out of the viewer. Worse it insists on doing it to other, terrible movies and still comes off worst.

The initial group activity is to watch every movie in the series of slasher knock-offs starring terrible actress Erica. These are shoddiness incarnate, but they are supposed to be; the joke being that Kolobos, the horror movie they inhabit, is so much better. Or that would be the joke if the movie they inhabit wasn’t just as bad, if not worse. I was pining for a good slasher. A decent slasher, even. Or even a mediocre slasher. By the end of Kolobos even a shit slasher would have done. I doubt this was the desired effect. Unintentional upset may also occur among modern viewers, as the whole mental health aspect is treated with all the seriousness and tact you would expect of a ‘90s horror movie featuring a booby trapped kitchen. But if we’re going after unedifying representations of the mentally ill in horror movies, well, there’s a lot more famous movies that need to answer a few questions before we get to poor old Kolobos.

Kolobos is an optimistic stab at making a horror movie by people who have a vision but just don’t have enough money to get anywhere near realising it. Nor, weirdly, do they have enough script. Since that’s the cheap bit, maybe Kolobos’ true value is in demonstrating to nascent filmmakers that stinting on the script can prove as fatal to your dreams as a buzzsaw fired from a toaster.

#Kolobos #Haunted House #Movies #Horror #1999 #The 1990s #Daniel Liatowitsch #David Todd Ocvirk #Amy Weber #Donny Terranova #Linnea Quigley #United States

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thefilmsnob · 4 years ago

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Glen Coco’s Top 10 Films of 2020

This has been the weirdest damn year for film--and basically everything else--we’ve ever witnessed. Theatres closed, re-opened, then closed again; dozens of films were postponed, and no one knew where to watch the ones that weren’t. I didn’t see nearly as many films as I usually do and, even so, the selection was relatively underwhelming. Nevertheless, there were still some good pictures released, so, as always, I’m sharing my top ten films of 2020 plus a bonus track...there’s always a bonus track.

#10b. (Bonus Track) Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Director: Jason Woliner

Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Maria Bakalova

On the surface, Sacha Baron Cohen’s characters may seem utterly absurd and childish--and maybe they are--but, the genius behind them is their ability to reveal the ignorance of the people he encounters and make you question where the true absurdity lies. Cohen accomplishes this yet again, even if this sequel isn’t quite as fresh as its 2006 predecessor. Yet, in the United States of 2020, ravaged as much by asinine politicians, disgraceful racism and dangerous conspiracy theories as by the actual Covid pandemic, Borat is an entirely welcome presence. He makes all the right people look as wrong as they should, especially former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani who’s caught red-handed in a compromising position opposite a very young girl, thus exacerbating his epic fall from grace while reaffirming Cohen’s brilliance.

#10. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Director: George C. Wolfe

Starring: Viola Davis, Chadwick Boseman

Despite my initial ambivalence, this movie has lingered in my mind for months and that’s always a good sign. Set almost entirely in one location, a 1920s Chicago recording studio, and focusing heavily on a group of musicians shooting the breeze in its basement while their demanding singer talks business with the big wigs upstairs, seemingly nothing much happens and, yet, everything happens; dreams are envisioned, pain is recalled, ideas are shared and, of course, music is made. Those elements are enhanced by the film’s stellar technical features from the production design, to the costumes to the hair & makeup. Yet, it’s the performers who steal the show, which is expected from Viola Davis but a pleasant surprise from Chadwick Boseman who, sadly, gives his final performance. The late actor saved his best for last playing a young trumpeter whose ambitions are constantly hindered by his inability to let go of his tragic past.

#9. The Way Back

Director: Gavin O’Connor

Starring: Ben Affleck

For those of you with the misconception that Ben Affleck is a bad actor, you might want to watch The Way Back in which he plays a former high school basketball star and current alcoholic who’s dealing with the death of his child and separation from his wife when he’s asked to coach his former team. Sure, this covers familiar ground, but it does so better than similar films, finessing the more predictable aspects, adding some welcome touches and treating the subject matter with the respect and seriousness it deserves. The basketball takes a backseat to the character drama here, so the film’s quality relies heavily on the performance of Affleck which might be his best to date; he makes his character’s inebriation so convincing you can practically smell the beer on his breath. And you hope to God he gets the help he so desperately needs.

Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/613090953214001152/the-way-back-12-out-of-5

#8. News of the World

Director: Paul Greengrass

Starring: Tom Hanks, Helena Zengel

This is a film we need right now for several reasons, not least of which being we get to spend two hours with ‘America’s Dad’ Tom Hanks, a decent, honourable man playing another decent, honourable man in 1870 who encounters a strange young girl on the road near an overturned wagon and promises to return her to her remaining family. With Hanks’s character Jefferson Kidd traveling from town to town reading the newspaper for its citizens, this is also a timely film, stressing the importance of a free and fair press as opposed to the propaganda that saturated the Trump administration and his favourite news outlet. An unusually--yet refreshingly--straightforward and old-fashioned Western for 2020, its highlights include a climactic exchange between adult and child, made so effectively tender with such minimal effort by Hanks, as well as a meticulously crafted chase and shootout sequence at the halfway point, directed with optimal tension and clarity by the great Paul Greengrass.

#7. Nomadland

Director: Chloe Zhao

Starring: Frances McDormand

It’s about time we start including Frances McDormand in lists of greatest actors. In Nomadland, in which she plays a wanderer of sorts who’s lost her husband to cancer and her company town to a poor economy, her performance transcends labels like ‘realistic’ or ‘natural’ and arrives at a place that doesn’t feel like performance at all. She blends in seamlessly with a cast of real nomads playing themselves, living out of vans in the western US, as unconstrained by societal norms as the film itself is by conventional story arcs. We want to see this minimalist lifestyle, which includes seasonal Amazon warehouse gigs and long nights in a freezing cold van, as depressing or unfulfilling, but writer/director/producer/editor (Jesus!) Chloe Zhao dares us to admire both the freedom and sense of community formed among this nomadic subculture. Cinematographer Joshua James Richards also plays with our expectations, bathing the screen in soothing blues and purples, transforming the unremarkable landscape into a thing of beauty.

#6. Da 5 Bloods

Director: Spike Lee

Starring: Delroy Lindo, Clarke Peters, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Norm Lewis

In Da 5 Bloods, writer/director Spike Lee deviates from his usual urban American setting to explore the tropical forests of Vietnam, but his focus remains fixed on the African American experience, their plight and search for justice. His subjects are a group of Vietnam War vets who reunite in present day Ho Chin Minh City to retrieve a cache of gold bars left behind some 50 years prior, originally part of a political transaction, as we see in appropriately grainy 4:3 full screen flashbacks. The reason for this mission is more righteous than a simple payday, but Lee refuses to paint these complex characters with the same brush--there’s even a MAGA in the bunch!--nor does he oversimplify the film’s profound issues. A genre-defying work, Da 5 Bloods is a character study, social commentary, war picture and action/adventure flick all rolled into one with some truly shocking developments and one of the finest casts of the year. How Delroy Lindo was denied an Oscar nomination for his volatile performance is beyond me.

#5. Promising Young Woman

Director: Emerald Fennell

Starring: Carey Mulligan, Bo Burnham, Alison Brie

In one of the most unique films of the year, Carey Mulligan delivers a brave, bold and beautiful performance as Cassie, a woman with a tragic past who spends her weekends at the club pretending to be blackout drunk, only to shame and humiliate the sleazy men who try to take advantage. Writer/director Emerald Fennell does a masterful job at peeling back the layers of this dark revenge tale ever so gradually to reveal Cassie’s true motives while rebuking, not just society’s abhorrent offenders, but those enablers and silent bystanders who try to hide behind a flimsy shroud of innocence. Benefiting from one of the sharpest screenplays of the year and a fitting score, Promising Young Woman never ceases to ramp up the tension, a strategy that culminates in a shocking final sequence which is at once disturbing and satisfying. It’ll all leave you guessing until the final, brilliant shot.

#4. The Invisible Man

Director: Leigh Whannell

Starring: Elisabeth Moss, Aldis Hodge, Storm Reid

Originally conceived as part of the ill-fated ‘Dark Universe’--Universal Pictures’ planned movie franchise featuring its classic monsters--and starring Johnny Depp, The Invisible Man was drastically retooled and produced as a stand-alone film with a modernized story. And like so many horror projects of the last decade, it’s refreshingly inspired and well-crafted with a deeper purpose than merely spooking its audience, though it succeeds at that as well. Writer/director Leigh Whannell uses this movie and the fearless performance of the great Elisabeth Moss to examine abusive partners and their persistent hold on their lovers-turned-victims long after the relationship has collapsed. Moss is stunning as usual, portraying an already traumatized woman trying desperately to convince everyone she’s not going crazy as well, even though that’s exactly how it looks. Equally impressive is the restraint by the filmmakers who use the ‘invisible’ effects sparingly yet strategically, creatively and, ultimately, very effectively, making every scare plausible and entirely earned.

#3. Sound of Metal

Director: Darius Marder

Starring: Riz Ahmed, Olivia Cooke, Paul Raci

In a world in which people are complaining about losing their freedom because they have to wear a simple mask to save lives, it’s good to see a film that shows what real loss looks like. If you can’t imagine being a heavy metal drummer who suddenly goes deaf, writer/director Darius Marder spells it out for you in big, bold, sorrow-inducing letters. He’s aided by Riz Ahmed giving possibly the best performance of the year as a man who, on the surface, tries desperately to hold on to his life and passion while, deep down, he knows that’s impossible. Sound of Metal is a tender and heartbreaking yet hopeful story, but what’s even more effective than the film’s dramatic presentation is its remarkable sound design. At times, characters sign to each other amidst ambient noise. Other times, the sound is muffled as if we’re putting our ears up to a wall and hearing a fraction of the dialogue from the other side. And, less frequently, when Ruben’s condition is at its worst, we hear nothing at all. Just complete and terrifying silence…which speaks volumes.

Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/647329085467574272/sound-of-metal-out-of-5

#2. The Trial of the Chicago 7

Director: Aaron Sorkin

Starring: Mark Rylance, Eddie Redmayne, Sacha Baron Cohen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Jeremy Strong, John Carroll Lynch, Frank Langella, Michael Keaton, etc, etc, etc...

Aaron Sorkin could write about two accountants conducting a routine audit and make it absolutely absorbing. So, imagine what he does with a courtroom drama about the volatile situation surrounding the 1968 Democratic National Convention and the group of anti-Vietnam War protestors accused of inciting riots at the event. Now an accomplished director too, Sorkin organizes all the moving pieces involved with style and grace while deploying his famously kinetic dialogue. With those lines coming from the mouths of his stellar cast, it’s hard not to hang on their every word and be invested completely in their struggle. I could listen to Mark Rylance’s showstopping line-reading of the simple phrase, “No, he doesn’t!”, all day and never get tired of it. Among its many achievements, The Trial of the Chicago 7 deftly navigates heavy topics like police brutality, unpopular wars and a corrupt justice system, showing just how little things have changed in the last 50 years.

#1. Palm Springs

Director: Max Barbakow

Starring: Cristin Milioti, Andy Samberg, J.K. Simmons

Anyone who knows me may be surprised by this pick, but here we are. Nothing makes sense these days. We’re all as confused and anxious about life as Sarah and Nyles are at a wedding in Palm Springs. Despite what the title suggests, the film doesn’t follow a group of horny teens getting up to shenanigans in the famous resort town, but if I describe the actual plot in depth, I may spoil the fun. I will say these characters seem to be reliving the same events over and over again. What’s so impressive about this film is that, although it repeats itself, it never feels repetitive. The twists and turns, the absurd hilarity blended with bracing poignancy, ensure our unwavering focus on this briskly paced little gem. Yet, it’s the irresistible chemistry between the two leads, played by the equally irresistible Cristin Milioti and Andy Samberg, that forms the glue that holds it all together, whether they’re pulling off childish pranks, discussing their unusual sex lives or debating the very meaning of life. I’m telling you, this movie has everything: comedy, drama, romance, science-fiction (?!), J.K. Simmons, several weddings, an inflatable pizza slice, dinosaurs, a crossbow and colourful beer cans and summer wear that seem destined to become iconic.

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aurimeanswind · 7 years ago

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I’m More of a Winter—Sunday Chats—1/28/18

Oddly enough, I find myself more “happy” or more at home and comfortable through the winter. It’s my favorite season, yet this one seems to not provide the same boons to excitement as the previous have. There is far less joy to be found, and that kind of sucks.

But we move on with the show.

Talking About The Week I Had

I’ve come to both hate and somewhat enjoy talking about having terrible weeks and rough times. I always, in my heart, feel I am begging for attention. And there must be some honesty in that, right? But I also feel this sense of responsibility and obligation to my internet presence that I need to keep sending those thoughts and feelings out there, and that maybe I’ll feel better when I do. And I usually do. There is always a warm and loving outcry of support when I do, and it always warms my heart, without fail.

But I dunno. It’s hard. I have really bad days and I put myself in a dark place, and while I love the honesty, I don’t want to share that because it’s both personal and it looks like I am begging for good vibes to be sent. Obviously this is all counteracted by me openly expressing my frustrations here (or so my brain hopes) but it’s a difficult side to every coin. The one that’s aware of the more selfish-seeming repercussions of crying out for help, and that just so wishes to be like, not bad on your own.

I think with my depression and fits of morbid thoughts and feelings of wanting to hurt myself, that’s always the fall back. I just want to be good without having to ask for help. The idea of, “well why can’t I just be alright on my own? Why does this have to be a thing where I have to have me picked up off the ground by my wonderful companions who’d graciously do so, but I can’t just “be” on my own?” When i say I express frustration in sharing my feelings of being depressed, I think it helps to empathize from that angle:

I’m not frustrated because I don’t want to ask for help, I’m frustrated because I was never given the opportunity to not need it.

Does that make sense?

God I hope so. In short I had a bad spell of self-hatred style depression this week, and this is me just airing it out those feelings. If it doesn’t make sense, ah don’t worry about it, but if you saw me struggling this week, that’s your bit of context.

What’s On Tap

Predominantly I’ve been playing one thing this week, and that’s been going back through The Witcher 3. That’s a great goddamn video game.

The Witcher 3

There is just something about Yennefer that... goddamn. She is just like a magnet for me. I definitely feel to her what Geralt does. It’s an attraction that goes beyond appearance. She isn’t like, the best person? either? But I just adore her. She fits the mold of a partner in so many respects, and peeling back the layers of her character are excellent.

I got to Skellige and boy that is just the best part of that game hands down.

The snow, the wintery peaks, the people of Skellige, it’s just so much better than anything you see in Velen or Novigrad I think. Not to say either of those chapters are bad, they’re excellent, but I think it just shows that Skellige is that much more interesting of an area. I think that, to some extent, derives from the fact that Velen and Novigrad are neighboring areas, and so their culture is very similar. It gets me even more excited to see Touissant, the place added in Blood and Wine, because that is also a totally separate part of that world.

Celeste

I’ve managed to put a few hours into Celeste now, where when we recorded the podcast I had only put about a half hour into it.

I worry that maybe my expectations for this game were set too high, especially with folks continually telling me how impactful it’s emotional aspects are. I’m trying to keep my expectations in check, but I will say so far the game has done some pretty interesting things.

On the gameplay level, it has the tightness of something like Towerfall, applied to very Super Meat Boy reminiscent platforming levels that are short, consumable, and challenging. It kind of reminds me that I’m not really in the mood for something that is just outwardly so challenging right now though. Like, it makes you frustrated and you’re supposed to derive enjoyment from the victory, but the levels are very long and frustrating at times, and I’m not getting the same satisfaction I got from something like Cuphead.

That, mixed with the really interesting story bits makes me kind of just want to get to the next story beat above everything else. The constant dying and repeating of the same challenges impedes that.

Maybe most of my frustration is that each “chapter” bases itself around a different mechanic, and a lot of those have been more just annoying than anything else. One was these platforms that you can move by pressing against them while holding them, which worked, but another was ground or wall that you can’t retread once you’ve touched it once or you die, and that was just zero fun.

There is a very interesting scene where you have to calm yourself from a panic attack, and it’s very evocative, so maybe there is something too Celeste, but right now I’m more mixed than I’d like to be. Overall it definitely plays well, I’m just unsure of if I am buying everything there.

Questions

Like always, look for my tweets on Sundays with the hashtag #SundayChats in it, respond with your question, and be in the chats! Let’s do this!

I like that Ubisoft essentially did this by putting Mario in XCOM last year.

But like, what if Princess Peach was a leader in Civilization 6?

How good would that be?!

Have Mushroom Kingdom units?! Build Peach’s Castle as a World Wonder?! Having to import mushrooms from other city states to appease our great lord and savior Princess Peach?! PEACH getting NUKED by GHANDI?!

Anyway.

I feel like I can’t think of any mind bending ones, or ones that haven’t been done before, save for the Princess Peach one. Like, I’d love to see an strategy game with the Tales characters, and that already exists. I’d love to see a third person action game with Final Fantasy characters, and that kind of exists, and that’s also kind of happening with the FF7 Remake. I’d love to see Vincent from Catherine as a character in a Persona game with all adults, but that feels like a cop out.

Link playing Baseball? in MLB the show?

I’ll think on it and if I come up with anything good I’ll tweet it at you.

I don’t know that series sounds like its for weebs.

Nah I’m kidding, I’m glad everyone seems to be having fun with Monster Hunter World. I definitely have a bit of FOMO, but after that beta I really doubt I’d have fun with it.

Nabeshin would go Insect Glaive. Scott would get the biggest and weightiest sword. Tony you’d get whatever you’d get. You said you were trying the Bow on the latest show, so maybe that? And I’d be the cat and I’d be chilling on an inflatable tube.

Hands for feet. Duh.

I’d get like, those toe-shoes, which would basically be gloves, and then go on my merry, tree-swinging way. Like, I’d finally have my dream of being able to have four hands. Ugh. Feet for hand sounds awful because you’d still have “arms” so its not like you’d be able to four-footed run.

Garbage.

I have no clue what this is.

*Does a quick google*

So Like, I am only loosely familiar with Big Brother, and I hate reality TV (I know Jazz, I’m sorry) but this seems like, totally boring! No big names at all. The entertainment weekly article I read showing the contestants for this upcoming one were recognized by their recent “Dancing with the Stars” placements, and that’s just fucking depressing.

But yeah, I like the idea of celebrities that don’t know they hate each other slowly learning that they do, in fact, hate each other all for your viewing pleasure, sure, if you’re into that sort of thing. But at least throw like, Liam Neeson in there to choke somebody or something.

Oh man there is so much I’d love to see Rocksteady do. They’ve definitely become a favorite developer of mine, even if i have a tenuous love-hate relationship with Batman Arkham Knight.

I mean they are almost definitely working on something Batman. I feel like we don’t end this year without knowing exactly what they are making, or without it releasing. I think Justice League/Batman Beyond would be cool, but I just worry that they aren’t going that route.

I want them to break away from Batman. I think they’ve earned enough clout to do their own thing, and that’d be the thing I’m most excited about, but it may ultimately just be another Arkham game.

I’d probably kill myself right away tbh.

I know that’s a little morbid haha, but I’m definitely not making it. I have really bad asthma, so assuming we are getting “infected” “running” zombies I am boned. I’ve also never fired a gun before, nor do I really have any interest in doing so. I’m also a pacifist and hate the idea of hurting other living things, dead or not. I’d also not want to be a hindrance to me loved ones who are stronger than me and can live on. And boy it’d be a fucking bummer to just watch humans kill humans over food and water and guns and stuff. I just don’t want to been that world (which is kind of our world, I know, yes).

And knowing my luck I’d be patient zero, so there’s also that.

First, I want to say:

fuck Captain Jack Sparrow.

That being said.

I want Sly Cooper’s ancestor who was also a Pirate, Henriette Cooper.

Hell, I’d probably just want Sly Cooper too.

And maybe Captain Kidd, but like, cool Lady Captain Kidd from AC Black Flag.

And Nato Johnston, who is real.

Jurge Cruz is into some deep web shit with his crypto-mining operation.

It’s messed up.

And very impressive.

That’s a really good question. I want to say yes, because I think that’d be cool, but I don’t know of any Arc System Works game that’s made it big there. There probably (definitely) is one? But I just don’t know it. Maybe Guilty Gear.

I’d say no because I think the way the controls work in FighterZ is just too simplified. I don’t know what the skill threshold for that game is, but who knows, maybe it’s possible. God wouldn’t that be rad?

This is a tough question. I saw this and I think, at least partially, thats what my opening thoughts bit was about. I don’t really think there is, and I don’t think that is such a bad thing, right?

Like that doesn’t make you any less of a friend, and this goes for everyone to anyone they know with mental illness. If you’re there, supportive, and send the good vibes and are understanding of their issues, you're doing it right. I think it’s people that just lack empathy or say “why aren’t you just happy?” that are the ones super fucking up.

I’d say just empathize with the fact that sometimes all you can do is send support, and that’s totally enough. So don’t sweat it.

Christ.

Joel’s Ears from The Last of Us because apparently that mother fucker can just hear through walls.

And maybe.... uhhh... The lady from The Sexy Brutale who can hear codes being typed in on keypads from the room over? That’s lit.

Goddamn my arms would just be horrifying tendrils though. Imagine if this combined with my feet that are hands and I’m just a four-eared two-handed monster crawling around listening with my big stalk-ears?!

God help us for this image will never leave my brain.

Ah so you play the Wraith eh?? Well that’s good to know. Time to get my STRATS ready. Of course you’d play the most broken monster though.

And probably never but I’m keeping the dream going.

Evolve was good you guys.

9.0/10, Irrational Passions.

I REVIEWED IT.

http://irrationalpassions.com/evolve-review/

That’s it! That’s the show and the whole kitten-caboodle.

It’s been a long week but keep things on the up and up. We’re about to move into February and I’m about to launch a cool new show and IP is working on some cool stuff to look forward to. So get hype!

oh and please keep it on the real.

(this gif of Danny laughing on Table Flip just miraculously popped up on my gif search and it’s a gift to you, me, and the GG gods, so enjoy)

#video games #gaming #the witcher 3 #celeste #questions #sunday #sunday chats

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bobbystompy · 6 years ago

Text

My Top 127 Songs Of 2018

Previously: 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Not the most ever... just the second most ever. The record of 132 stands. I hope it is never broken.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check any or every out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes 122 of the 127 songs

Well?

youtube

/grins

127) B.o.B - “Food Fight”

Some triplet rap, pretty boring, and I have no idea what this song is supposed to be. But the “Food of the WiFi” part makes me laugh, and I always picture my buddy Matto singing it to his eye rolling wife (even though I’m pretty sure he’s never heard the song before).

126) French Montana f/ Drake - “No Stylist”

This song sucks -- even Drake can’t save it. French Montana is cancer except you don’t get to die.

125) 21 Savage - “Monster”

Not a huge Savage guy, but the Gambino verse helps.

124) The Kooks - “All The Time”

Kind of a lazy chorus, but it’s aight.

123) Sean Paul f/ Jhené Aiko - “Naked Truth”

Love Aiko, have never cared for Paul... but the collab weirdly works.

122) REASON - “Summer Up”

My buddy Josh sent this one, and it’s got the warm vibes. Money stretch:

P asked me is REASON still workin', shit N***a, is Amber Rose still twerkin', gold diggers still flirtin' horny teens still jerkin', all my exes still lurkin' black lives still hurtin', black lives still hurtin'?

121) Nipsey Hussle f/ YG - “Last Time That I Checc’d”

B’s vs. C’s. And a beat that sounds like DJ Mustard combined with ‘90s G-funk. Also, YG’s bandanna scarf is just very cute.

120) Thrice - “Only Us”

Weirdly, another reds and blues music video. But this time, it’s kids at a summer camp. This could absolutely be used by networks as a pump up song for sporting events.

119) Anderson .Paak f/ Kendrick Lamar - “TINTS”

Anderson .Paak -- ohhhh, that dot will always annoy me -- really does not make bad songs. Kung Fu Kenny fits right in, and it’s a very easy hit-the-spot driving song.

118) Mr Hudson f/ Vic Mensa - “Coldplay”

A serious song that uses an emotional reliance on Coldplay to take objective shots at Coldplay, which is pretty hilarious. Vic’s verse is good (”I lost my Queen poppin’ Ace of Spades at King of Diamonds ... I hate Coldplay”).

117) Logic f/ Wu-Tang Clan - “Wu Tang Forever”

Long cypher song. If you care about hip-hop, you probably know Drake also released a song called “Wu-Tang Forever” five years ago (which featured no members of Wu-Tang). There was talk of a remix -- RZA even recently said he wished they did -- but Inspectah Deck articulated why it didn’t happen back then:

“When I finally got to hear the song, I was more or less like, ‘Wow, I thought it was a tribute song like, it would be in respect of all eight members,'” Deck said. “And when I heard it, it was about a girl.”

You can just sense the colossal and spiritual disappointment.

Well, this one is more about fire than females; you’ll shout “Wu-Tang” proudly at least once. My MVP verse is Ghostface.

116) Jhené Aiko f/ Rae Sremmurd - “Sativa”

Rae Sremmurd* still sound like little kids to me. Conversely, Jhené Aiko is all that is woman.

(* - never knew they were brothers until just now)

115) Sam Coffey & The Iron Lungs - “First Time”

Sam Coffey first got on my radar with The Clash-sounding song “Talk 2 Her”. This is less of that and more, like, ‘80s hair metal. It’s almost hard to tell if this is sincere or parody. The video absolutely does not take itself seriously.

114) Saves The Day - “Kerouac & Cassady”

Always been impressed with the very unthreatening Chris Conley’s ability to create such sinister, dark, and menacing imagery. This maybe has the most bleak closing line of any of these songs.

113) 5 Seconds Of Summer - “Youngblood”

This is what Fall Out Boy tries to sound like with their new stuff... but they just suck so bad now.

112) She Killed In Ecstasy - “Dissension (Gold)”

I remembered this being a dope instrumental before totally forgetting about the just-as-awesome vocals; great band name, too. Recommended by my friends Jim and Bill over brunch after taking in their show at Subterranean in Chicago the previous night. This could be the closing theme for a critically acclaimed TV show.

111) Night Birds - “My Dad Is The BTK”

Straightforward, bratty punk rock that promotes snitching (if you’re sure it’s for the right reasons).

110) The Decemberists - “Once In My Life”

Why does such an outwardly melancholy song still feel so damn uplifting? Probably the video. They have a long statement attached on YouTube, so for sure peep if this catches your interest.

109) Mad Caddies - “She’s Gone”

Here we have a straight up reggae cover of NOFX. Sometimes I don’t think I like this song at all, but it might just be hard to separate it from the original; almost wish it was possible to go in with a clean slate. Maybe you can on my behalf?

108) Rivers Cuomo - “Two Broken Hearts”

Would you rather not know the video uses Bitmojis or the pre-chorus promotes two different ice cream brands before the song ends?

107) XXXTENTACION - “Train food”

This song is intense; gave me memories of listening to Kendrick’s “The Art of Peer Pressure”. X not surviving 2018 makes it that much more haunting.

106) Kanye West & Lil Pump f/ Adele Givens - “I Love It”

Not sure why, in his most embattled year yet, Kanye decided to be a part of such a derogatory song towards women. Listening to it makes me feel bad. And sure, the MAGA imagery will be what we think of when we think of 2018 Yeezy, but this picture shouldn’t be too far off either.

Shark: jumped.

105) New Lenox - “Do You Think We Made The Most Of Those New Years Eves”

That is a very long song title. But not as long as the time since passed on this reflection of the final night of the year, over a decade now gone. But even though he’s looking back, you know Chris Trott gets to hit reset at the end of the night, whether it’s December 31st or January 1st. And when NYE hits again, whether you return to the same party in the same place or a different experience in a totally different hemisphere, celebrating something is what makes this all matter.

(Full disclosure: yours truly has a minor backup vocal part in the outro)

104) Jeff Tweedy - “Having Been Is No Way To Be”

This for sure made it on the list because of the “And if I was dead, what difference would it ever make to them?” line, but upon closer scrutiny, the “And I’m sorry when you wake up to me” line is even more crushing.

103) Panic! At The Disco - “Dying In LA”

Brendon Urie’s voice is so polished and full. This song is him in complete control, and he knows it too (the “Dyin’ in LA” falsetto part at the end of the chorus is... probably not necessary).

102) Sugarland f/ Taylor Swift - “Babe”

Though Taylor’s impact in the music video is significantly stronger than her impact in the actual song, it’s still rock solid country. Or... country solid country?

/curtsies

101) ZHU & Tame Impala - “My Life”

This song has such a dancy cool on the power of its instrumentation; really doesn’t need vocals at all.

100) Kidd Russell & Southside Jake - “Slow Motion”

The poppiest SSJ has ever sounded. This is his best song to date. I’m not so sure if “Shots kill the butterflies” is an actual expression, but it should be.

99) Hop Along - “What The Writer Meant”

Hot damn, what a voice. This song is beauty in our not-often-beautiful world.

98) Retirement Party - “That’s How People Die”

This reminds me of a female fronted version of the departed Modern Baseball. Eager to see how they develop and definitely plan on checking their Audiotree session soon.

97) Lil Peep - “Sex With My Ex”

It’s... really good, you guys. The grimy nihilism of the “Fuck me like we’re lying on our deathbed” is palpable. It’s impossible not to think of the heights Peep would have almost definitely hit had he not passed. Also, super interesting tidbit on how the album got posthumously made:

Lil Peep died of an accidental drug overdose last November [2017] at 21. Afterward, attention turned to his computer. First, it went to London, where the files were backed up by First Access Entertainment, the company that helped guide his career.

Then it went to his mother, Liza Womack. In an interview in her cozy Long Island home, sitting on a nondescript couch that belonged to Peep and was shipped cross-country after his death, she calmly recalled walking into an Apple store, handing the laptop to a clerk, and saying: “My son died. This is him. Take this and put it on a new one.”

96) Kurt Vile - “Bassackwards”

I was on the beach, but I was thinkin’ about the bay

This has Kurt Vile’s signature laid back-ness (good) but also has a 9:46 track length (VERY VERY BAD). I’m not saying it has to be even four minutes long... but, like, could you have given us seven, KV? All of that aside, it really doesn’t slog at all despite mostly staying the same the whole time. Though I still can’t stop thinking about how much shorter it should be.

95) Christine And The Queens - “Doesn’t matter”

Kinda ‘80s pop sounding. Also, there’s a foreign accent there. British maybe?

/googles

French! Even better.

94) Brendan Kelly And The Wandering Birds - “Shitty Margarita”

Wish the drums were louder, BK.

93) Courtney Barnett - “Nameless, Faceless”

Barnett does not fuck around with her chorus/old adage:

I wanna walk through the park in the dark Men are scared that women will laugh at them I wanna walk through the park in the dark Women are scared that men will kill them

This type of perspective, down to the description of how she has to hold her keys in a way your average dude might not think about, remains so crucial as we all hope to continue to better understand each other.

92) Jeff Rosenstock - “Powerlessness”

Meet me at the Polish bar I'll be the one looking at my phone Shaking like a nervous kid Absolutely terrified of being alone

...it doesn’t sound how it reads. All of his skittish energy fuels this fist pumping jam. And don’t miss the guitar solo.

91) Charli XCX - “5 In The Morning”

Pretty standard fare pop song, but Charli makes it cooler and better than if the average person jumped on.

90) Pinegrove - “Darkness”

Gonna be honest: it was nearly impossible to listen to Pinegrove in 2018 without thinking of the sexual coercion accusations from the previous year. Jenn Pelly’s long ass piece really did nothing to help matters. So because of all this, I listened to their new album “Skylight” wayyyyy less than originally anticipated. The few times -- really maybe ‘time’ in all actuality -- I was able to separate the story from the songs, it definitely became enjoyable. This has head clearing guitar leads and a lyric straight outta Sublime’s “Garden Grove”.

89) Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson - “Bad Dreams”

Brooding, nighttime, driving; good ingredients for a successful duet.

88) Meek Mill f/ Rick Ross & JAY Z - “What’s Free”

Now, if I’m Rick Ross, I spend my entire career avoiding any situation where people can compare me to Biggie. But since Rick Ross is Rick Ross, he went with the opposite plan. This is his (to my knowledge) second reimagined Biggie song*, and... it’s... it’s rough. I mean, how far can you take it with the line “Mona Lisa, to me, ain't nothin' but a b***h” and end with a gay slur. Pass.

But we also have the GOAT. In classic Jay fashion, he spits a lot of good words, you know it’s complex, and there’s no way to process it without more listens. And yes, the immediate brand checks are super annoying, but he pushes through and delivers some bars:

They gave us pork and pig intestines Shit you discarded that we ingested, we made the project a wave You came back, reinvested and gentrified it Took n****s' sense of pride, now how that's free?

When he finishes, the song itself ends, and we have one of the more long and uneven Jay cameos ever put on wax. It’s, like, a 5-star B-.

(* - the first being 2014′s “Nobody”, a take off “You’re Nobody [Til Somebody Kills You]”, featuring French Montana, which spawned an all-time Rap Radar comment, “If someone killed French, he’d still be a nobody”; I will bring it up with the most minor of segues for the rest of my life)

87) Red City Radio - “In The Shadows”

I tend to prefer Red City Radio playing more uptempo, but they drag us down to a slower speed for this one. This centers around the cryptic “I show no fear when I know that the devil’s here” line, and the guitar solo is definitely overqualified for the genre.

86) Kanye West - “Yikes”

/cracks knuckles

The song: banging chorus, solid beat, lyrics meh. Of course it was the song he got Drake for, because it’s the only one on his solo release that vaguely resembled a hit.

The album: Calling “ye” bad is a little unfair, but the best and realest description is sadder: it’s Kanye’s most inessential record. It was forgettable at best and cringeworthy/offensive at worst. The one about his daughter was particularly appalling:

Don't do no yoga, don't do pilates Just play piano and stick to karate I pray your body's draped more like mine And not like your mommy's

This doesn’t even get into the entirely warped mental health takes that I’m not nearly qualified enough to address.

Kanye himself: Every Kanye fan has defended Kanye, some Kanye fans have abandoned Kanye, but 2018 was legitimately the tipping point where it felt like we all finally had enough, in unification. Shock, betrayal, and disappointment are probably the best adjectives. When you are willing to forgive someone for 90% of their behavior, and they up their bullshit to 110%, an understandable separation must occur. At this point, the man we once called Yeezus is now the hip-hop Louis C.K.: no type of constructive or negative feedback can penetrate his brain, and any new attempts at creative output only make everything worse.

85) Royce da 5′9′’ f/ Eminem & King Green - “Caterpillar”

As lyrical as it gets on this list, but what else do you expect from Em and Royce? Not a huge fan of the chorus (at least that loud part in the first half). Eminem legit goes off for, like, ten lines with a pooping metaphor to close the song.

84) Nicki Minaj - “Barbie Dreams”

Staying in the redone Biggie songs lane, we have Nicki with a passive evisceration of your favorite male rapper. You can call it crass, but I’d argue her playfulness makes the whole thing work, combined with the fact that it’s flipping the male gaze on its head. And though she’s having fun, some of these movie punches catch real faces. My favorites:

3) “Drake worth a hundred mill, he always buyin' me shit / But I don't know if the pussy wet or if he cryin' and shit”

2) “I remember when I used to have a crush on Special Ed / Shoutout Desiigner 'cause he made it out of special ed”

1) “Had to cancel DJ Khaled, boy, we ain't speakin' / Ain't no fat n**** tellin' me what he ain't eatin'”

Goodbye forever, DJ Khaled.

83) Bad Bunny f/ Drake - “MIA”

I do social media for my high school alma mater’s football team, and this song first got on my radar when of the players tweeted something like “I can’t understand a word, but this is really good”. I was piqued, and it delivered. Nobody cultural appropriates quite like Drizzy Drake. Also, am I the only one who would have maybe been happier if the song was called “Bad Bunny” and the featured artist was M.I.A.?

82) Phoebe Bridgers - “Christmas Song”

Christmas songs are hard to write because they’re either taken or terrible, but Bridgers definitely carved out her own lane. This could work as a single person under a spotlight or sung by a group of lonely strangers finding camaraderie at a bar; within the song, you actually get both scenarios.

81) Remo Drive - “Blue Ribbon”

Got into this band for the first time in 2018, and though some of their older songs got more spins, this was my favorite from the new album.

80) The Sidekicks - “Twin’s Twist”

Mostly just impressed they were able to seamlessly integrate the “Chronic 2001″ into lyrics of a lighter rock song.

79) Real Friends - “From The Outside”

My favorite chorus they’ve ever written. While remaining thoroughly pop punk, the catchiness puts it more on the pop side of that spectrum.

78) Mike Posner - “Song About You”

Posner sounds like he’s barely trying, and it’s still so, so good. Favorite moment is this non-rhyme: “Since you’ve been gone, I got nothing to do / I sleep until noon, I wake up and feel bad”. It’s like a pop freestyle or something.

Also, extra shout out for how well he took his social media roasting after the Thanksgiving performance in Detroit. Love this dude.

77) Bad Religion - “The Kids Are Alt-Right”

What if I told you Bad Religion made a song with an intro that sounded like Andrew W.K.’s “Party Till You Puke” but were somehow still able to stay afloat? Hell, I’m confused too. The satirical lyrics mark 2018 for what it was. The pre-chorus, I remain torn on.

76) Blood Orange - “Saint”

You said it before

Looped keyboard beat over some smooth lyrics and melodies.

75) Juice WRLD - “Lucid Dreams”

I cannot change you so I must replace you

Still unclear how this *isn’t* a Post Malone song.

74) Tancred - “Queen Of New York”

Own the city.

73) We Were Sharks - “Drop The Act”

Ohhhhh, I love this production.

72) Cloud Nothings - “Leave Him Now”

This band continues to possess all of the melodic fury (and the Russell Westbrook of drummers).

71) Childish Gambino - “Summertime Magic”

Wasn’t big on “This Is America”*, so Glover releasing an ode to the best season as an alternative selection helped.

(* - at least not the song; vid was interesting)

70) The 1975 - “Love It If We Made It”

The 1975 are one of those bands where liking them makes you feel like an alien because everyone else either loves or dogs them. I’m keepin’ this casual, aight?

Also, since all writers are contractually obligated, we must mention the “Fucking in a car, shooting heroin” line which opens the song.

69) Kississippi - “Cut Yr Teeth”

Saw this band play in a classroom at a high school (google “BLED FEST”) in Michigan in May of 2018. They were fun, diverse, and covered Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle”. This tune is a little more serious and locked in.

68) Muncie Girls - “Picture Of Health”

Every part of this song is well-written, but it all builds to a massive chorus.

67) Justin Timberlake f/ Chris Stapleton - “Say Something”

There was a time, in January 2018, when not a ton of music had dropped yet, and this song was everywhere. It was like the dead-of-winter equivalent to the Song of the Summer. This one definitely gets docked some points for what I’d call weak lyricism. You can tell both dudes were way into it though, which does help make up for it some.

66) Interpol - “The Rover”

As speedy as I’ve ever heard Interpol; pretty unskippable.

65) Dashboard Confessional - “Catch You”

Imagine if this were the only Dashboard song you’d ever heard. You’d think they were, like, happy. Our protagonist has a trustworthy assurance that should put you at ease.

64) Gulfer - “Secret Stuff”

No singing on this list will alienate you faster than the first eight seconds of this one.

63) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “Talking Straight”

Though this feels like two band names in one, RBCF know exactly what they’re doing as it pertains to the actual songwriting. This would fit right in during the mid-2000s garage/indie rock boom; could listen to the chorus on a loop.

62) Rita Ora f/ Cardi B, Bebe Rexha & Charli XCX - “Girls”

This song has the unique distinction of being think pieced and outraged cycled before I even got a chance to hear a second of it. The case:

Now, it goes without saying that the best people to explain why this song feels damaging and hurtful to queer women are queer women themselves – girls who kiss girls whether they’ve been gulping back Malbec or not. “A song like this just fuels the male gaze while marginalizing the idea of women loving women,” wrote Hayley Kiyoko on Twitter. Kehlani said it has “many awkward slurs, quotes, and moments”. MUNA’s Katie Gavin noted that in ‘Girls’ she hears “the familiar chorus that women’s sexuality is something to be looked at instead of authentically felt”.

To her credit, Ora apologized the very same day that piece came out (PUN INTENDED). What’s weird is the idea of this song being problematic made me like it more. It gives the sexual flippancy of the chorus authenticity. I don’t know, man -- this stuff is complicated.

Not complicated? Cardi B’s awful green screen cameo featuring cheap looking special effects.

/shakes head in disappointment

61) Eminem f/ Ed Sheeran - “River”

Though not apples to apples -- since he’s not spitting -- we shall remember this as the time Ed Sheeran > Eminem in a song.

Marshall remains our unquestioned king of the ‘relationship dysfunction’ genre.

60) Culture Abuse - “Calm E”

Everyone’s getting back together

The writers of the perfect and generational “Dream On” continue to stay in the mellow lane with their subsequent releases. When you can pull off both, why not?

59) Brian Fallon - “Silence”

Fallon covers -- /checks notes -- Marshmello f/ Khalid, but it really could be an original. Dude really knows how to pick ‘em. I remember hearing this randomly at Shinto (a sushi/hibachi place) in Naperville; don’t remember if it was this or the original. Such a moving chorus.

58) Okkervil River - “Don’t Move Back To LA”

Gotta appreciate the persistent sentiment -- even though it’d be the opposite of my advice. Also took about 99.9% of the year for me to stop calling this band “Overkill” River in my head.

57) Natalie Prass - “Short Court Style”

Uber catchy and with a real groove.

56) The Interrupters - “She’s Kerosene”

2018 Rancid, down to the raspy-ish singing from Aimee Allen.

55) boygenius - “Me & My Dog”

When I heard Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and someone named Lucy Dacus were forming a super group, I was stoked. This tune was the one that jived the most with my vision of the project. Amazingly sick harmonies, dropping elbows on your heart like a professional wrestler, and introspection on introspection.

I wanna be emaciated I wanna hear one song without thinking of you I wish I was on a spaceship Just me and my dog and an impossible view

So, so, so, so good.

54) Shack Wes - “Mo Bamba”

How do you explain “Mo Bamba” to someone who doesn’t like rap? How do you explain “Mo Bamba” to someone who does like rap? I don’t know, but I am Teddy Bridgewater now.

53) Lil Dicky f/ Chris Brown, Ed Sheeran, DJ Khaled & Kendall Jenner - “Freaky Friday”

If you thought Rita Ora’s “Girls” was messy, allow me to introduce you to our last bad rap song on the list. Actually, maybe the Virginia Tech women’s lacrosse team would be a better candid--OHHHHH LADIES NO!!!!!!!!11111111

So yeah, whether it’s the most lightning rod word in American history, cultural appropriation, reverse cultural appropriation, or even just a good ol’ “I Blame Chris Brown” take, this attempt at comedy hip-hop got put under a microscope for all the right and wrong reasons. No one came out unscathed. But, like Ora’s song, if you can ignore some components (read: nearly everything), it’s so god damn fun, man. I mean, Dicky and Chris Brown swapped bodies -- pretty nuts. And it’s rare for an MVP line to be “How his dick staying perched up on his balls like that?”

52) Jay Rock f/ Kendrick Lamar, Future & James Blake - “King’s Dead”

I gotta go get it- I gotta go get it- I gotta go get it- I gotta go get it

The back half of the Future verse is the worst part about this song... yet the most fun to talk about. He raps auto-tuned, in falsetto... and these are the lyrics:

La di da di da, slob on me knob Pass me some syrup, fuck me in the car La di da di da, mothafuck the law Chitty chitty bang, murder everything

What a disgrace. Yet, almost like a whimsy 2 Chainz verse, it’s really fucking memorable.

51) Soccer Mommy - “Your Dog”

Noticeably good bassline? Check. Skin crawlingly bad band name? Check. Cool swearing? Yup.

50) Vince Staples - “FUN!”

Vince could rap his way out a bottomless pit; floating elevation flow.

49) Dan + Shay - “Tequila”

Tried so hard to get this one next to “Shitty Margarita”. Genuinely love this song. Maybe it’s the mountains in the music video, but that chorus just soars.

youtube

48) Meg Myers - “Numb”

Look up in the air and see this tidal wave chorus crashing through the world in slow motion.

47) The Penske File - “Fairgrounds”

My new working theory -- which really feels more like fact -- is how cool lyrics with the phrase “Meet me...” are. It creates this aura of unknown, mystery, and maybe even danger; like anything could happen if you just agree. Here are some from songs just off the top of my head:

Meet me by the lake

Meet me at the reservoir

Meet me in Montauk

Meet me in the middle (more on that one later)

Meet me in the back

Meet me at midnight

The list goes on. So please say “yes” to The Penske File at the fairgrounds, won’t you?

46) Lil Wayne f/ Swizz Beatz - “Uproar”

Weezy goes this entire song only using “oh” rhymes; not sure how he does it. Sometimes, I listen to this and pretend I’m a buffalo.

45) Cardi B - “Be Careful”

Cardi sampled Lauryn (wayyyyyyyy more on this later) and made it work. The chorus always sticks with me, and though the verses have a few bumps along the way, they might even be better.

44) Elway - “Crowded Conscience”

Elway pulls up their roots in this All Colorado Everything lyric video, and you’ll be ready to tap the Rockies when the singalong chorus finishes.

43) Pkew Pkew Pkew - “Passed Out”

A punk rock drinking song with a real bummer of a chorus for how happy the theme itself comes across.

42) Joyce Manor - “I Think I’m Still In Love With You”

I have no scientific proof, but Barry’s lyrics seem to be getting worse and worse. The drug references are still there, sure, but there’s an almost elementary simplicity to the proceedings. Still, like “Heart Tattoo”, this song doesn’t get in its own way and takes advantage of the basic words to create a big, big hook. You sing along even though it feels too easy at times.

41) Alkaline Trio - “Throw Me To The Lions”

So much desperation in the chorus; this could work as their last ever song.

40) The Bombpops - “Dear Beer”

My favorite opening line on this whole list -- the sweet and simple “I’m about to hit send / I’m waiting for the weekend”. Before you know it, a full blown self-loathing chorus. It’s got it all.

39) Foxing - “Lambert”

In quiet awe listening to this masterpiece of a song. Saw this band way up close in 2018 -- here is a picture:

Hello, Foxing

38) Lucero - “To My Dearest Wife”

Civil War soldier or rigorous rock and roll touring schedule? Either way, the Lucero singer misses his wife and family, and he’s gonna let you know they’re on his mind. I saw them open for Frank Turner in 2018, and he played their new album front to back -- before it had been released -- as their entire set because “I promised to do this when drunk on Instagram”. Gotta respect a man with principles.

37) BlocBoy JB f/ Drake - “Look Alive”

Favorite Drake hook of the year. BlocBoy JB... less necessary. Also kinda crazy to think we didn’t know who producer Tay Keith was at the beginning of 2018; definitely made his impression felt by the end.

36) The Front Bottoms - “Tie Die Dragon”

As psychedelic as I’ll ever get. Unless it’s, like, The Beatles. But that’s different.

35) The Lawrence Arms - “Laugh Out Loud”

Released on their Best Of record (legitimately titled “We Are The Champions Of The World) and an “Oh! Calcutta!” b-side from 2006, TLA prove even their leftovers can be a main course.

34) Tinashe f/ Future - “Faded Love”

I know he’s a rapper and she’s a singer, but nothing is more illustrative of how much harder women have to work compared to men than the 1:36 mark when Tinashe sensually sings “Let’s just feel this feeling”, doubled with Feature’s auto-tuned ass doing the exact same thing, only 10x worse. Not enough to taint the song, even a little. His verse, however...

33) Chance The Rapper - “65th & Ingleside”

Chance -- who almost always makes the correct choices -- did this super annoying thing where he released a bunch of songs in single batches in 2018.

“But Bobby, he gave you tons of free music! Why are you complaining?!”

Because we couldn’t easily sequence it, bruh. Look at this shit!:

Not even Drake would pull this stunt. EP next time, Chano.

Anyway.

Fun lines, really contagious beat, and a few types of flows; he spazzes at the end.

32) Complainer - “Drunk (Again)”

Gotta love when a song can’t start until multiple beer cans crack. These guys are a tiny band inspired-by-but-better-than Jeff Rosenstock, and I hope they get so much more traction.

31) ScHoolboy Q f/ Kendrick Lamar, Saudi & 2 Chainz - “X”

I LIVE ON TEN

Always read this title as the letter X even though the word “ten” is used 40 times in the song.

30) KIDS SEE GHOSTS (Kanye West & Kid Cudi) - “Reborn”

From Kanye’s only useful project in 2018 comes “Reborn”. Luckily, it’s mainly Cudi on this track (chorus/bridge/a verse). It feels like Ohio’s son is breaking through... or breaking out; verging on real triumph over his demons. Kanye, meanwhile, is surprisingly understated (read: good) and fits into all of his parts like a non-OJ glove. The sparing use of Yeezy reminds me of how the master himself used to feature people like Chief Keef just enough to harness the talent but not enough to ruin the song or do too much. Those alpha days appear to be way in the rearview now.

29) Travis Scott f/ Drake, Swae Lee & Big Hawk - “SICKO MODE”

Stacey Dash, most of these girls ain’t got a clue

This joins “Mo Bamba” in the Top 2 of Rap Songs That Need To Be Played At All Parties In The Year 2018. While “Bamba” is more consistent -- seriously, “SICKO MODE” is four songs in one -- almost nothing tops hearing the start of this and immediately anticipating the rest (like the opening of “Tuesday” when that was hot). The third part is probably my favorite. #likealight

28) SOB X RBE f/ Zacari & Kendrick Lamar - “Paramedic!”

Our third selection from the “Black Panther” soundtrack. Second favorite beat of 2018; I can’t not move the second it drops.

27) Drug Church - “Unlicensed Hall Monitor”

Favorite guitar leads of 2018. It’s as sleek as the vocals are gruff.

26) Matt And Kim - “FOREVER”

Was a dead tie between this and the equally emotional “Youngest I Will Be”. But this one has a vid -- and they make the best vids. This song also references the 1992 Dream Team. Our world will never be shit if they stay a part of it; first time I’ve came close to tearing up so far. These two inspire.

25) The Ramblin’ Boys Of Pleasure - “Joyce Jawbreaker”

Speaking of turrs, my band of 14 years released our maybe last song ever in 2018. Written in Maine, titled for Joyce Manor and Jawbreaker, and about lost love, Chicago, futures, playing music with your brothers, tiny hands, and found love. We also did a video:

youtube

24) Ariana Grande f/ Nicki Minaj - “the light is coming”

I really, truly am not excluding “thank u, next” to be contrarian. While I agree that is her defining song of 2018 -- and biggest hit to date? -- “the light is coming” is so much more unique. It goes in so many directions while the hook ties the rope around you a hundred times. Yep, I’m right.

23) Laura Jane Grace & The Devouring Mothers - “Apocalypse Now (& Later)”

Wish I could forever keep this song’s opening line as my mantra: You make me walk away from the hate I carry.

22) Restorations - “Nonbeliever”

Another band that should be bigger, so they can always be free to do anything they want. This song will always boil down to this part, which captures the push and pull of 2018 America:

I love your protest lines Oh, but who has the time? We all saw the same thing at the same time, okay? Got a partner for starters And a kid on the way Can’t be doing all this dumb shit no more

For how crass, clumsy, and non-rhyming that concludes, the song itself ends dire.

21) The Get Up Kids - “I’m Sorry”

One of my favorite videos of 2018. Similar to “Apocalypse Now (& Later)”, I’m not sure if it’s about a love interest or a kid. Does it matter? No. But it does to me.

20) Antarctigo Vespucci - “Freakin’ U Out”

A band name for the ages. With Chris Farren (of Fake Problems) on vox and Jeff Rosenstock on instruments, this song could power a car -- or at least one person who didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.

19) Bayside - “It Don’t Exist”

Anthony Raneri has a new grill, but this song feels 50 years old. A classic in real time.

18) The Carters - “APESHIT”

Is this artsy, all-time vid somewhat undermined by the Migos ad libs?

Yes.

/makes note to maybe dress up like this for Halloween next year

17) Post Malone f/ 21 Savage - “rockstar”

This song is so good -- albeit misogynist and also bad -- it makes me genuinely eager for a 21 Savage verse. And though I love any bars relating to his 12-car garage...

my favorite 21 savage quirk is his yearly 12 car garage updates:

2016: “why you got a 12 car garage?”

2017: “they like ‘savage why you got a 12 car garage / and you only got 6 cars?’”

2018: “why you got a 12 car garage? / cause i bought 6 new cars”

(via @ottergawd)

...his intro line is just so, so terrible: “I've been in the Hills fuckin' superstars / Feelin' like a popstar”. You know that’s... not really a rhyme, right?

16) Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness - “Ohio”

/will always, always death stare that dumb name to start any Andy section

Ah, but if we did start with a lyric?

Katie’s counting crows

This song is about leaving the worst state for one of the best. But if we’re doing that, why do we feel so melancholy?

15) Kendrick Lamar & SZA - “All The Stars”

You've gotta be mesmerizing to make Kung Fu Kenny look pedestrian, but SZA's galactic hook does just that.

14) Frank Turner - “1933″

Frank isn’t from here, but he’s setting out to remind us of where this all began.

13) The Wonder Years - “Sister Cities”

As far as pop punk legacies are concerned, The Wonder Years’ is secure. There is no longer necessity to churn out bangers; they’re already on the Mount Rushmore. Still, they go. Every part of this song is essential: the build up verses, blown out chorus, Panic! At The Disco 2005-era hi-hat off-time drum transitions, end-of-the-rope bridge. The true standout is the closing of V2:

I'm guarded like I'm wounded, my first instinct's always “run” I wanna turn to steam I wanna call it off I wanna lighten the dark I wanna swallow the sun

Good guitar leads add even extra.

12) YG f/ 2 Chainz, Big Sean & Nicki Minaj - “BIG BANK”

“Alexa, what does big bank do to little bank?”

The highlight line from each:

YG: “Ayy, I set the bar, I'm the fuckin' bar / Look in the sky, I'm a fuckin' star / I don't fall in love 'cause I be lovin' hard / Do everything like my shirt, extra large”

2 Chainz: “Big shit like a dinosaur did it”

Big Sean: “I'm rare as affordable health care”

Nicki: “Told em' I met Slim Shady, bagged a Em / Once he go black, he'll be back again”

Let this also be remembered as the song that created a Madden controversy.

11) Dean Summerwind - “Parked By The Lake”

What is there to say about the legend that is Dean Summerwind? With only one song on Spotify, he’s batting a clean 1.000. Calling this genius feels like an understatement. It’s real, it’s parody, it’s persistent, it’s ours.

10) The Dirty Nil - “Bathed In Light”

The Canadian Local H. Reaaaaaaaally wanna see them live in 2019.

9) oso oso - “gb/ol h/nf”

I stylized oso oso as “Oso Oso” last year to stick it to their frontman Jade, but a year later, I’ve lost the energy. Blame Ariana Grande. This song -- which stands for “goodbye old love, hello new friend”* -- has my favorite chorus of the year. It’s so simple, it’s obvious: “But I still come through, when you want / And if I serve no use, where do I get my purpose from?”

Also, this is indie/pop/punk/rock’s version of “SICKO MODE”: got more parts than “The Wire”.

(* - had to look that up multiple times in 2018 and never retained, despite it being the bridge of the song... I didn’t notice)

8) Kacey Musgraves - “Space Cowboy”

If any song *survives* the existence of this list, I hope it’s this one. Kacey has this predictable-yet-surprising way of taking existing tropes and co-opting them with her own twist. Homegirl is like the Jim Nantz of pop/country in that way.

7) Direct Hit! - “Welcome To Heaven”

This song makes me want to die to, you know, check. Blustering chorus, fascinating premise, and charged up while simultaneously patient/in control.

6) FIDLAR f/ The 90s - “Are You High?”

This not being on Spotify was one of the worst non-Michigan football things to happen to me in 2018. Man, I hate Michigan football.

5) Drake - “Nice For What”

- My favorite beat of 2018 (New Orleans bounce, ftw)

- My favorite release of 2018 - Drizzy said it would drop on a Friday - We were thinking morning or midday (not late evening, in the last remaining hours of the day, when were were faded and had waited so long it was almost forgotten -- it hit perfect) - On top of that, he also sampled Lauryn Hill’s “Ex-Factor” -- the same week Cardi B did the same -- with even more pulsating results - I will always interpret that as a real or sneak diss, yet no one I know has ever said anything

- My buddy Josh sent a selfie vid of him and his girl and some friends bopping to it; I’ll remember that forever; the moment felt like such an event, as if the world simultaneously celebrated at such an atypical time

- Drake deserves 30% less credit for this female empowerment anthem because of the “these hoes” sample

- Maybe a Top 5 Drake song, all-time

- There is no planet, solar system, or multiverse where 2018 Drake finishes ahead of 2018 Pusha T

4) Pusha T - “The Story Of Adidon”

You are hiding a child.

Let’s not mince words: this is the No. 2 greatest diss track of all time. Pac is No. 1 -- this will not be debated. From there, Nas is DQ’d for “Ether” homophobia, annnnnnd no one else is in the realm. King Push...

- Unearthed a photo of Drake in blackface and uses it as the art for the song - Goes at Drake’s mom (”Marriage is something that Sandi never had...”) - Goes at Drake’s dad (”Dennis Graham stay off the 'gram, bitch, I'm on one”) - Outs Drake for having a child (and hiding said child!*) - Goes at Drake’s baby momma - And -- /gulp -- goes at Drake’s longtime producer 40 for having multiple sclerosis, suggesting he will not be alive soon**

He does this over “The Story Of O.J.” beat... a rather chill backdrop, all things considered.

(* - Drake responded later with the line “I wasn’t hiding my kid from the world, I was hiding the world from my kid” which just isn’t cool at all but is competent enough to win some people back over; /barf)

(** - HOLY FUCK***)

(*** - much debate occurred in the aftermath regarding if Push “went too far”; I was 50-50 at the time but now am 100-0 that it was the right choice; this song is cyanide venom, so why pull back even an ounce?)

Though Drake survived -- turns out the mainstream pop boost is bigger than hip-hop beef -- he took the fattest of L’s on this one.

Really can’t decide on a lyrical ending, so I’m gonna go with two:

Surgical summer.

If we all go to hell, it’ll be worth it.

3) Spanish Love Songs - “Buffalo Buffalo”

In my head, this was gonna end up ahead of The Menzingers, but that would be like putting Greta Van Fleet ahead of Zeppelin. Spanish Love Songs were my breakout band of 2018. They released my favorite album, I saw them as an opener at Sub-T in Chicago, and I promised their bassist I’d see them in Florida at the Fest (this did not materialize). While their vocals and guitar leads sound identical to Scranton’s finest, if you listen to them as much as I did, you’ll realize they offer a sound and perspective* of their own as well.

(* - no one hates themselves more than this singer)

2) The Menzingers - “Toy Soldier”

There’s so much to be sad about these days

/that guitar intro

Followed by the best musical moment of this year: from 0:06 to 0:07 -- the ever-so-slight delay before the band blows it out. Spent a lot of time in 2018 debating if I should change my Twitter bio to “I lost my accent in the plague”. Listened to this song on the floor of the living room on my 32nd birthday; then I read “The Great Gatsby”. From there (at this point, it was past midnight), I realized this sounded like The Lawrence Arms’ “Requiem Revisited”, which was inspired by Naked Raygun’s “Soldiers Requiem”. It’s all a triangle of that perfectly fitting punk chord progression. That’s right: I am Pepe Silvia.

1) Horror Squad - “I Smoke The Blood”

Best song title of 2018. Best song of 2018.

This has 729 views on YouTube -- be the 730th.

youtube

Spotify playlist.

Thank you for reading.

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amtushinfosolutionspage · 7 years ago

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Grant Hill Q&A: ‘I Wouldn’t be Shocked if Loyola Cuts Down the Nets’

To put it mildly, the last day of March is a big day for Grant Hill.

The two-time NCAA champion will be calling his fourth consecutive Final Four for Turner Sports with Jim Nantz, Bill Raftery, and Tracy Wolfson, his second biggest accomplishment of the evening. By the time the first game tips-off at 6 PM on TBS (friendly reminder to those stuck on tourneys long past, that’s TBS not CBS), Hill will (officially) be a proud member of the Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame. The actual announcement won’t come until Saturday afternoon, but Adrian Wojnarowski’s sources already have Hill in Springfield, Mass. alongside no-brainers Steve Nash and Jason Kidd and Sixers champion point guard Maurice Cheeks.

Given his notorious injury history, Hill’s NBA career is often viewed through a What If? lens, but it’s been a Hall-worthy career that far exceeds his medical records. He’s a seven-time All-Star, made an All-NBA team five times, and of course, there are his incredible years in Durham and 1996 Olympic gold. And not for nothing, but he’s regarded as one of the nicest guys around hoops, which is why he won the NBA Sportsmanship Award three times.

Hill took time out of preparing to call the Final Four—starting with No. 3 Michigan Short Shorts vs. No. 11 Loyola Chicago Fighting Sister Jeans and followed by the No. 1 heavyweight showdown between Villanova and Kansas—to speak to VICE Sports. He talks about the highs and lows of his long basketball life, Duke hatred, hammering on ShaqIlvaine, and trying to keep up with Bill Raftery, in broadcasting and barflying.

First things first, let’s go back to the flat-top days, when Grant Hill yanked a ball out of the sky and his long winding road to the Hall of Fame began…

This interview took place before Hill learned he was inducted into the Hall of Fame. It has been edited for clarity.

VICE Sports: Before we get to the NCAA Tourney, I want to ask how you’re feeling about the Hall-of-Fame announcement, a mere 48-hours away…

Grant Hill: My fingers are definitely crossed. There are some amazing finalists—Jason Kidd, Steve Nash, Ray Allen to start—so it’s a tough class. Prepping for the Final Four this weekend while knowing the announcement is coming is exciting and nerve-wracking all at once.

I think you’re going to get in Saturday because Springfield looks at a player’s entire career, not just the professional years, but that being said, I looked at your NBA stats and had forgotten how many great seasons you had. Do you think your stellar NBA resume gets overshadowed by seasons lost to injury?

It’s interesting, people I talk to across the country tend to put my basketball career into one of three buckets: The Detroit Piston era, a general respect for overcoming all the injuries, or the main one, Duke. Naturally during March Madness, it’s all Duke all the time, but no matter what time of year, it’s what I’m connected to first. The Kansas dunk and the pass to Laettner will live forever. The NBA injuries are a part of my story, but I wouldn’t say it overshadowed the rest of my pro career. It’s more about certain memories stick with fans and mine are generally from college. Even knowing all we accomplished on those amazing Blue Devil teams, I never thought people would still ask me about it a quarter-century later.

One last Hall-of-Fame question, you started out in the iso-ball era, and then spent five-years at the end running with the Phoenix Suns. Nobody in the NBA is playing Michael Jordan/Kobe Bryant clear-out hoops anymore, but everybody owes a debt to the Suns. Are Mike D’Antoni and impending inductee Steve Nash getting enough credit for changing the game?

You can’t overlook the Kings of the early 2000s, the free-flowing way they played, or even what Don Nelson was doing on the Mavericks with Steve Nash, but I think D’Antoni has perfected it. The league has transitioned because D’Antoni’s system coincided with rule changes offering more freedom of movement and less physicality. It’s funny because playing against those Suns teams in 2004-05, I looked around and it’s like ‘what the hell is going on out here?’ It was total chaos with their different sets and styles, but then playing with them, it all made sense. Now it’s the entire league and I don’t think D’Antoni and Nash are recognized enough for revolutionizing the NBA. The curious thing is, will it ever swing back?

Let’s switch to college. You may or may not be aware of this, but there are more than a few people out there who don’t care for Duke, placing them on the Yankees-Patriots spectrum of teams fans love to loathe. Are most people good-natured about it, or do you get tired or defensive about the Duke hate?

No, not at all. It’s great. Love or hate ‘em, it speaks to the passion of college basketball. There are themes as to why Duke is reviled, the whole I Hate Christian Laettner idea, but it’s really rooted in the success of the program. You can’t deny the historical domination of the Patriots or the Yankees, and hate Duke all you want, but the same is true for what Mike Krzyzewski has accomplished. It’s about excellence and playing the right way. It’s an honor to have played a small role in his legacy. Duke evokes emotion. Good, bad, or indifferent.

As for fans talking trash? It’s almost always joking and in good fun. But don’t forget, I played in the NBA for nineteen seasons, I can talk trash. I can take it and I give it out too.

Last Sunday’s Duke-Kansas game was an absolute classic—and I know it’s your job as a broadcaster—but inside, is it hard to keep your emotions or loyalties in check when Grayson Allen’s floater somehow misses twice?

I’ve done a number of Duke games, all of them when they won in 2015 [ Ed note: Hill laughed adding ‘‘or when we won it if that’s how you want to put it’], but the responsibility as a broadcaster is to be an analyst and provide insight. When it’s a classic, you get lost in the game, and anything outside of what’s happening on the court vanishes. It’s the exact same thing as when I was playing in close NCAA tournament games. During Duke-Kansas, I was completely captivated and reacting to the action unfolding. Coach K used to prepare us for each NCAA weekend by saying we were playing in a “four-team tournament.” Looking at the 64-team bracket can be overwhelming, so lock in and focus on the four-team tournament, and replicate it three times. I take the same approach to television. As a player or broadcaster, getting lost in the game is the reason for doing it.

After a game like Duke-Kansas, I might wish it went the other way, but as a broadcaster, I get to know coaches and kids from both sides. I love Bill Self. I had a great time hanging out on Saturday with Devonte’ Graham and Malik Newman, and know the heartbreak of losing in the regional finals two years in a row. It’s such a privilege to get to know these kids—Carolina! We called back-to-back Tar Heel Finals with Joel Berry and Theo Pinson, who dapped me up before the tip-off! It’s suppose to be sacreligious as a Dookie, but getting to know kids, and experience their stories like UMBD or Loyola, is the best part of the job.

This is your fourth Final Four, is it akin to your senior year where you know what you need to do down cold?

I actually feel like it’s the fourth game of my freshmen season. Here I am at center court in a huge arena, with the best seats in the house, next to two legendary broadcasters in Jim Nantz and Bill Raftery, so I still get pre-game jitters. Once the game starts, I feel more comfortable for sure, but I’ll never catch up to Nantz or Raft in terms of experience. I’m just trying to get better.

Every year, the bigger part of the NCAA tournament experience, however, is how much fun we have. I look forward to the whirlwind month when Nantz, Raftery, Tracy Wolfson, and myself are joined at the hip. It’s an odd little family, but we generally like each other. The off-screen camaraderie is even more important than the on-screen chemistry.

Question pertaining to my interests: Your freshman year slam against Kansas in the Finals is the most famous, but as a Marquette alumni, I want to ask about another dunk that came two years later in the Sweet Sixteen—

Three years later. You’re talking about the Jim McIlvaine dunk, my senior season.

Ah, so clearly you remember it.

I knew about Jim McIlvaine because he won the 93-94 Defensive Player of the Year, which I won the previous season. Mac was a great shot blocker, no doubt, but I had it in my mind before the game to get him. In the first half I was facilitating, setting guys up, waiting until the right time to step in, and not doing a lot of scoring. But I remember the guy Marquette had on me was just yapping, wouldn’t stopped talking trash. I think he was a small forward—

Roney Eford

Eford, right. First half I was like Okay, Alright… I’d been playing off the ball, so at halftime, I told Jeff Capel let me take the point and go to work. I think I caught an alley-oop, and then later, I just blew by Eford and dunked on Mac. I got him. It was a nice little moment.

What should fans look for at the Final Four? Who’s dancing at the end?

Professional obligations mean I don’t make predictions, but I honestly believe all the Final Four teams have a shot regardless of seeding. They all have guys who excel at shooting from the perimeter, so it’s which team is going to bury 15-18 threes. Playing in a dome can have an adverse effect, it is different. So Villanova has the experience factor, but each team has good spacing and multiple shooters who can get hot.

Do you really think America’s sweethearts, the Loyola Ramblers, can win twice?

To be honest, I thought they would lose their first game, and certainly not get out of opening weekend, but no fluke team makes the Final Four. It’s earned over four games, and Loyola has been fairly dominant with the three-pointer opening up the floor. I’m not a betting man, not Jimmy the Greek, but I wouldn’t be shocked if Loyola cuts down the nets.

Last question. I, like most of America, want to have beers with Bill Raftery. What’s a night out drinking with him like?

For starters, know that Raft doesn’t do beer. Also know his stamina is amazing. Unbelievable. We’ll be at dinner with wine, maybe a nightcap, then the next morning you’re struggling and he’s going like he just bagged twelve hours of sleep. I never know quite how to prepare for a night out with Raft. Do you build up endurance? Or limit participation?

We joke about it on air, but the main thing is, it’s a great time for fellowship. We have a blast.

Grant Hill Q&A: ‘I Wouldn’t be Shocked if Loyola Cuts Down the Nets’ syndicated from https://australiahoverboards.wordpress.com

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spryfilm · 8 years ago

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“Childhood’s End” (2015)

Science Fiction/Mini Series/Television

Running Time: minutes

Executive producers, Akiva Goldsman, Michael De Luca, Matthew Graham, Alissa Phillips; producers, Paul M. Leonard, Nick Hurran, John G. Lenic; director, Hurran; writer, Graham; based on the novel by Arthur C. Clarke

Featuring: Charles Dance, Mike Vogel, Daisy Betts, Julian McMahon, Osy Ikhile, Colm Meaney, Yael Stone, Ashley Zukerman, Georgina Haig, Hayley Magnus, Charlotte Nicdao

Supervisor Karellen: “If you want a single proof of the essential—how shall I put it—benevolence of the Overlords, think of that cruelty-to-animals order which they made within a month of their arrival. If I had had any doubts about Karellen before, that banished them!”

Finally the 2015 television miniseries “Childhood’s End” (2015) based on the Arthur C. Clarke book of the same name has been released on DVD and Bluray in New Zealand, the result is a mixed bag with good points as well as some negatives, with the overall result being something science fans will enjoy but will remind them of story lines from other genre television shows. While the story has been around since 1953 there has never been a major adaptation done until now, it is not the hardest work to adapt but the scope meant that there would need to be a whole host of special effects, perhaps nobody wanted to pay for that, also the story takes place over hundreds of years so that can cause complications as there are no single characters that last the entire story. It was with some amount of glad tidings that the US television channel newly re-branded Syfy decided to make the story, it showed a lot of guts and faith in the fans for tuning in – it was a modest success with many element being ported over from the book.

The miniseries begins in a distant future, Milo Rodericks, claiming to be the last living human, records a message from the ruin of a post-apocalyptic Earth. As he begins we shift to 2016 where both the United States and the Soviet Union are about to enter outer space using nuclear-powered spaceships. Just as both countries close in on the achievement of space travel, a number of giant alien spaceships come down over every major city in the world.

Five years later, these aliens, known as the Overlords, have taken control of the entire world. Their flagship is based over New York and is managed by Karellen, the Overlord who is charge of Earth-related affairs. The humans know Karellen as “the Supervisor.” Karellen uses the Secretary-General of the United Nations, Stormgren, as his liaison to the human race. Once every few weeks, Karellen meets with Stormgren inside his ship. However, neither Stormgren nor any other human has ever seen what an Overlord looks like.

To start with even though this miniseries had a four and half hour running time the narrative was structured so that it took place over one human lifetime – which was one of the more unfortunate things about this adaptation. Not only that but this story was, unlike, Clarke’s original novel extremely American-centric, which meant that it can come across like the Americans are the chosen people, which leads the viewer down a very strange path. In the original novel it is the head of the UN that is the ‘vessel’ for the people of Earth to the ‘Overlords’ own Ambassador, Karellen. Whilst these changes in and of themselves are understandable (it was made for US television and keeping the timeline reduced also reduces the budget) the viewer cannot help think that they are missing out on something special – in particular for readers of the excellent novel. I cannot help but think that not only was this a missed opportunity but that the entire story would have made more sense to just the casual person thereby giving it more appeal as well as adding an added weight to the themes behind the story.

This mini-series is directed by Nick Hurran and written by Matthew Graham both experienced English television writer/directors, however neither of them have had any real film experience. However within their work they have a bit of experience in genre television, which of course in terms of this material is a plus. The reason I mention their lack of film work is that this could have used some of the scope and breadth that is routinely seen in genre movies. This min-series was never going to go beyond its three episodes so it would have been great to see use of different locales and once again attempted to make it more epic in feel. Even the cinematographer, Neville Kidd, has only had television experience so he has not seemed to stray too far from his comfort zone in terms of the look of the series, which again is a little disappointing as this was screaming for a look that fitted its lofty ideas.

Unfortunately the feeling that this is just another lite version of “Independence Day” (1996) something we have all seen before in different mediums as well as iterations is extremely hard to shake as the story unfolds. Even though the aliens this time seem to be benevolent we are still dealing with extremely worn out tropes of alien invasion movies, with very different people doing very different things, all having very familiar motivations. The soul of the novel are gone, once again though this could have been mitigated by spreading the miniseries over hundreds of years – this comes into play more succinctly when there is some space travel involved and plot holes start to open up – such a shame.

This is not to say that this miniseries is bad or should not be watched; in fact I recommend this miniseries highly as there are so few good science fiction closed story series on air at the moment. Some people say we are living in some golden age of television but I think we are just seeing a glut of shows that are the same quality as we have had over the past twenty years, its just that with so many there are a higher number but I think not a higher ratio. This is not a high end show it is a middle ground which some shows would be happy to reach.

“Childhood’s End” is available now on DVD & Blu-ray.

CHILDHOOD’S END — “The Overlords” Episode 101 — Pictured: Mike Vogel as Ricky Stormgren — (Photo by: Narelle Portanier/Syfy)

DVD/Blu-ray Review: “Childhood’s End” (2015) “Childhood’s End” (2015) Science Fiction/Mini Series/Television Running Time: minutes Executive producers, Akiva Goldsman, Michael De Luca, Matthew Graham, Alissa Phillips; producers, Paul M.

#bluray review #bluray reviews #childhood&039;s end #dvd #dvd review #DVD reviews #DVDReviews #tv miniseries

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topsolarpanels · 8 years ago

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The 76 ers’ mad analytics experimentation was doomed to fail- but at least it was memorable

Basketball had never seen an attempt to build a franchise the route Sam Hinkie wanted to. And with Colangelo and DAntoni now on board, were unlikely to see it again

The Sixers have attained losers out of all of us.

The 1-29 experiment in tanking analytics is being tainted by the introduction of basketball people in Jerry Colangelo and Mike DAntoni. After more than two and a half years of of Sam Hinkie being able to do whatever he wants, dump any asset and draft every damaged 7ft guy the world over, those above Hinkie are now forcing him to be influenced by two guys whose knowledge of statistical analysis probably ends with recognizing also that a three-pointer is worth more than a two-pointer.

In Colangelo and DAntoni, chairman of basketball operations and associate head coach-and-four respectively, the Sixers are wrecking what mad statistician/ GM Hinkie was constructing before we all got to see the final Frankenstatistic product. The Sixers are like a bold avant garde movie that had the studio fell Keanu Reeves and Reese Witherspoon into it halfway through filming. Pulling Hinkies computer plug now is like refusing to allow infinite monkeys to finish writing on their typewriters.

Its dropping the funding on the development of an alternative energy vehicle that was to be fueled entirely on weed smoke.

If those analogies are bad or confounding or tortured, theyre even more fitting for whatever it is that Hinkie was attempting to do with his bad and confounding and tormented Sixers. Unfortunately , now well never know. Because now the Sixers have basketball people with basketball knowledge.

Jeff Skversky (@ JeffSkversky) December 21, 2015

#Sixers chairperson Jerry Colangelo tells #ESPN the #Sixers are absence basketball people& knowledge – that’s why they hired Mike D’Antoni

Yuck. With the input of Colangelo and DAntoni, the Sixers will no doubt become like any other squad, scratching and clawing for semi-relevance and a low playoff seed barring a generational star falling into their laps.

Hinkie promised something different. No squad had ever tanked like Hinkies Sixers. Previous sports tankings were designed to land one special player and then instantly get to work on contending. Hinkies tanking was indefinite, geared to draft no one in particular other than maybe discovering the NBAs first eight-footer and didnt promise arguing any time soon. This is a team that has won one of its last 40 games over two seasons and indicates zero signs of arriving improvement.

Basketball had never seen an attempt to build a franchise this route. And with the Sixers giving up, were unlikely to ever see it again.

Maybe Colangelo, Hinkie, DAntoni and Brett Brown will mesh perfectly and build a balanced squad in Philadelphia that will contend for championships in the near future. But even if that happens, well still be left with the nagging is the issue of what might have been. Awesome or terrible and it was looking more and more like terrible Hinkies ultimate The Process Sixers were going to be memorable.

Weve lost them eternally. We are losers. We are all just Sixers now.

Vine of the week

Alex Kennedy (@ AlexKennedyNBA) December 18, 2015

Kevin Durant x Dr J – Under The Basket Reverse Layup( Vine by @TheCauldron) https :// t.co/ BnTBDgJQy5

In last weeks tight four-point loss at Cleveland, Durant pulled off a pretty spot-on Dr J impression in the first quarter. But its not even Durants best Julius Erving-style reverse layup in his career. Check out this ridiculousness from three seasons ago against the Nuggets TAGEND

When your wingspan is that of an adult condor, the normal binds of sidelines and backboards simply dont apply.

How did LeBron carry the Cavalier this week?

After LeBron sat out back on December 5 in Clevelands loss to the Heat, he has returned to median 27, six and five as Cleveland has won five in a row. Kyrie Irving even owes his first points of the season to LeBron thanks to James passing up a dunk on Sunday to give Irving an easy bucket.

Somewhere someone awful ripped James for over-passing on this play.

Quote of the week

I actually feel sorry for people who have nothing to do on Christmas Day other than watch an NBA game. I think we get a little carried away with ourselves in sports supposing were more important than everything else. Stan Van Gundy

Full disclosure: that hilarious quote is not from this week. Its not even from this year. Van Gundy said it back in 2009 when he was head coach-and-four of the Orlando Magic.( Fun fact: the Magic were then penalty by Scrooge Stern over Van Gundys public objection to working on Christmas. Really .) Van Gundys Pistons arent scheduled to play on Christmas this year, so he can expend the vacation doing whatever it is that people with rich, full lives do instead of watching basketball. Watching A Christmas Story over and over maybe?

Power Rankings

1. Golden State Warriors( Last week: 1 )

After their slip-up against the Bucks, the Warriors seem to be rolling on towards the 1996 Bulls wins record with back-to-back victories by an average margin of 17 points. But maybe not everything is perfect. Consider that Steph Curry is shooting just 47% from the floor in his last four games while NBA laughing stock Kobe Bryant is shooting 51% in his last four. Can the Warriors genuinely expect to win a title in 2015 with a shooting guard who is worse than Kobe? Hashtag: FunWithStats.

2. San Antonio Spurs( 2 )

Gregg Popovich is on-record as disliking the three-point shoot, but Kawhi Leonard is on pace for a career-high in three-pointers made and his 47.2 three-point percentage is even better than Currys. Leonard better knock it off or he could get benched.

3. Cleveland Cavaliers( 4 )

Kyrie Irving played his first game of the season on Sunday against the Sixers. Bullying is incorrect and the Cavaliers should apologize.

4. Oklahoma City Thunder( 3 )

Kevin Durant hit a go-ahead jumper with 5.8 seconds left on Monday night and then blocked Chris Paul as day expired to give the Thunder a 100 -9 9 win in Los Angeles against the Clippers. Its probably more productive if we all stop debating if Durant or Russell Westbrook is the best player on the Thunder and instead talking here how fun it is to watch a team play that has both of them healthy and in their primes.

5. Miami Heat (8 )

The Heat are said to be a possible landing place for Dwight Howard in a potential trade, which are truly be a good deal for Miami if theyre looking to get a 30 year-old player in rapid decline who is owed $23 million next year.

6. Atlanta Hawks( 16 )

Dennis Schroder had a tooth knocked out against Portland on Monday night and reacted by calmly placing it in his sock.

Joe Giglio (@ JoeGiglioSports) December 22, 2015

Dennis Schroder lost a tooth last night and decided to set it in his sock. https :// t.co/ QWPc7MaPw 5

If Schroder puts things like teeth in his socks, the lint tray in his washing machine must be quite a sight.

7. Indiana Pacers( 9 )

George Hill is the next Jason Kidd. Not because hes a future Hall of Famer. Hes not. Hes just a point guard who, like Kidd, will forever have regrettable photos of himself online with a blonde dye chore.

8. Toronto Raptors( 5 )

The Raptors have lost three of four, including a 10 -point home loss to the lowly Kings on Monday. Maybe the unusually warm wintertime climate has tricked them into playing like they do in April.

9. Dallas Mavericks( 11 )

Head coach Rick Carlisle tells Chandler Parson has been a lot of hard work to recover from hybrid microfracture surgery on his right knee: Everybody wants a nice cooked steak, but nobody wants to see you chopping up the cows in the back. The last five or six months, Parson has been in the back butchering clows thats the kind of work hes had to do. Rick, you play in Texas. Everyone is absolutely fine with chopping up cows.

10. Chicago Bulls( 6 )

The Bulls have lost three in a row and Jimmy Butler tells new head coach-and-four Fred Hoiberg needs to coach the team a lot harder. Before this year, the Bulls were coached by the ball of stress and rage that is Tom Thibodeau, so Butlers idea of what constitutes intense coaching may be a little bit skewed.

11. Detroit Pistons( 15 )

The Pistons released Josh Smith a year ago today. Detroit was 5-23 at the time and has gone 43 -3 9 since. Perhaps the Clippers, Smiths current employer, should try to turn their lucks around by releasing him this year.

12. Orlando Magic( 14 )

As 24 year-old Magic center Nikola Vucevic continues to take steps to toward becoming a star, its fun to think back to 2012 when he was a throw-in with Andre Iguodala in the trade that netted the Sixers Andrew Bynum and Jason Richardson. What if the Sixers had maintained Vucevic? Sam Hinkie would have yet another talented seven-footer on his roster. On the downside, Vucevic would be helping Hinkies squad win games.

13. Boston Celtics( 10 )

Celtics fans dedicated Kevin Garnett a long salute on Monday night in what was probably his last-ever game in Boston.

Garnett smiled broadly even though his squad lost. This is not the same Kevin Garnett who played in Boston.

14. Los Angeles Clippers( 7 )

The disappointing Clippers and awful Lakers play on Christmas Day. The only way the sports day can get worse in L.A. is if everyone wakes up and find the Rams and Chargers under their tree.

15. Houston Rockets( 17 ) The Rockets have won three in a row thanks to playing their best defense of the season. And just think how hard the rest of the team has to play defense when James Harden is doing this TAGEND

YannickYounique (@ Yannick_DYB) December 20, 2015

I know we say it all the time but James Harden is the worst defender ever pic.twitter.com/ e5mMkKiVtk

16. Charlotte Bobcats( 12 )

Just when we all guessed the Bobcats might finally be turning the corner, they ran and lost four of five to fall out of the top eight in the Eastern Conference. This is where a clever Internet person would insert the Jordan screaming meme.

17. Memphis Grizzlies( 13 )

The Grizzlies are showing signs that their new small-ball approach could pay off. Now they just have to perfect it to the point of besting the small-ball champ Warriors. Good luck, guys!

18. Washington Wizards( 20 )

John Wall dished out a career-high 19 shall take part in Mondays win over the Kings only to injury his ribs in the final minutes. This is your latest reminder that Washington D.C. sports cant ever win.

19. Utah Jazz( 18 )

The Jazz beat the Sun on Monday night, allowing them to retain the No. 8 place in the West at 12 -1 4. The Western Conference continues to make a strong suit that it is the new Eastern Conference.

20. Milwaukee Bucks( 21 )

Do the Bucks deserve to be in the Top 20? No, probably not. They lost by 18 to the Lakers a week ago, after all. But Milwaukee is the only team to beat the Warriors this season and with Golden State looking for revenge back on Friday, the Bucks had a 10 -point fourth one-quarter result!( Before ultimately losing by nine .) That deserves a trophy. Maybe even a parade. It at least deserves a place in the Top 20 of our power rankings , no matter how temporary.

21. New York Knicks( 20 ) 22. Denver Nuggets( 24 ) 23. Sacramento Kings( 26 ) 24. Phoenix Suns( 24 ) 25. Minnesota Timberwolves( 25 ) 26. Portland Trail Blazers( 22 ) 27. New Orleans Pelicans( 28 ) 28. Brooklyn Nets( 27 ) 29. Los Angeles Lakers( 29 ) 30. Philadelphia 76 ers( 30 )