#Kevin had someone who truly saw him as a friend despite being a “problem child” and they took that away

[pain-is-too-tired]

"What are you doing with my friend?"

Joseph from Void my beloved

I still think about him waiting for a friend who'll never return...

Some delusional part of me says he'll be one of the orphans still around with the Prototype(cause iirc Kevin was likely taken around '93 and I think hour of joy was '95? So there's a chance he was still in the system ifryd)

But he's probably not- just him being so outright named like he was so interesting to me but I'm probably looking too into it.

[deans-haunted-baby]

The Ones Left Behind

Alrighty time for some truth bombs. I’ve had almost a week to absorb the end of Supernatural and season 15 as a whole. And I think this is the moment where I need to throw in my two cents. For all intents and purposes I won’t go in-depth into 15x20 seeing as that conversation will just open up a whole other can of worms and I don’t need that headache. I have my reasons for being less than indifferent with how the Winchesters’ story concluded. So I won’t go there.

Instead I’ll be focusing all my energies on the unsatisfying conclusions of 4 particular characters. Two of which were main cast members (one that was on the show 12 years and one 4 years) while the other two (played by the same dude) were brought back after a decade long hiatus for a much-anticipated comeback only to be wasted and mangled unfairly by Dabb and his hack horde of a writing staff. Call this a follow up to my last post. If I sound bitter I am because these people don’t have a single clue on how to helm these characters, their relationships or their storylines 😠 Nor do they deserve them.

And yes I’m well aware of Kevin Tran, Rowena, Ketch and several others who got the shaft on this show. Those could be future posts for another time.

But I cannot stress this enough; ADAM MILLIGAN, JACK KLINE, MICHAEL AND CASTIEL ALL DESERVED FUCKING BETTER. There is no arguing these facts, none whatsoever. Not one of these characters deserved that exit to be the final chapter in their story. I won’t do an entire analysis of each character’s arc and role in the show as I’ve already done that in my rant about 15x19. But I will highlight how much season 15 royally screwed over these characters and tossed them aside like trash; as if none of them were ever part of/contributed anything to Sam and Dean’s history/world building of Supernatural’s universe.

*WARNING* This is going to get heated.

Before I dive into the heart of these issues I want to state this is not a “shipping post”. I don’t ship anyone on Supernatural, hopefully this blog has been pretty self-explanatory. So I have no arguments/opinions in those areas. I’ve been a fan of this series for 15 years because of the characters, the familial bonds and relationships formed between characters throughout its run. And I’m well-aware that the Winchesters are the lead protagonists of the show, no need to remind me. These are purely my own thoughts based what I’ve obtained from show canon. Let me just say I can’t get over just how much these writers contradicted and ignored what they put forth in the journeys of these four individuals. its a real headscratcher.

You mean to tell me that after TWELVE DAMN YEARS of Castiel being a rebellious warrior angel, searching for his own identity and meaning in life; making that promise to Kelly Kline about raising Jack as his own/risking his life for him. After sacrificing himself for his son a year ago, acknowledging he was satisfied with his role as a father which restored his faith; that it was all because of/for Dean Winchester? 

You mean to tell me that after Michael, THE PRINCE OF HEAVEN and PROTECTOR OF HUMANITY, was locked away in a cage with a human whom he emotionally bonded with for thousands of years (10 years our time); who was abandoned, betrayed and manipulated by his neglectful/abusive father. After choosing free will and aligning himself with TFW for humanity’s sake, just sided with the Earth’s destruction because his little brother called him names? 

You mean to tell me that Jack, A THREE YEAR OLD CHILD, who’s barely just beginning his life and spent his entire duration on the show wanting to be normal and not wanting to be special. Connecting and being integrated with humans; a child who’s biggest fear was outliving everyone he ever loved. Is suddenly ready to walk away from his family, his home and his teddy bear; to give up being a kid forever and run the universe?

You mean to tell me that Adam, SUPERNATURAL’S MOST INNOCENT CHARACTER and FORGOTTEN THIRD-WINCHESTER BROTHER, after being eaten by ghouls; pulled away from his mother out of Heaven, manipulated by angels, trapped in Hell for thousands of years because Sam and Dean left him there to rot. After coming back and helping his neglectful siblings save the world only to be ripped away from his best friend and THE ONLY OTHER PERSON who gave a damn about him; is sentenced to a life of loneliness, homelessness and turmoil until he dies and ends up in Hell where he’ll mostly be tortured and turned into a demon?

NO. I DO NOT AND WILL NEVER ACCEPT THIS BULLSHIT! 

Season 15 not only manages to contradict itself where these characters are concerned (while assassinating them before the final curtain). But the writers deliberately discarded them before giving us that *sarcasm inserted* epic solo-Winchester conclusion. Regardless of how you feel about Adam, Castiel, Jack or Michael, ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS are connected Sam and Dean’s story and part of Supernatural. And when you throw them away like they mean nothing, you’re essentially throwing away a part of the show’s history. You’re ignoring 15 years worth of story building. 

As I said I’m not going to go into 15x20 for reasons, it doesn’t offend me as much as what was done before that finale. Because I think those other show exits really affect 15x20 even worse than people realize. You want to know why, I’ll explain.

Lets start off with Castiel and Jack, OH BOY! We know where they end up; running Heaven and the Earth together which is all fine and dandy. I love my Dadstiel father/son duo being an endgame family unit. But here in lies the problem, we never saw it. Not even a cameo. And technically their onscreen storyline ends at 15x18 and 15x19 which is an ugly, anti-climatic bookend to an incredibly deep relationship that had 4 years of development. First you have Castiel who completely forgets why he made that deal with the Empty to begin with. HIS FUCKING SON. Not to mention it wasn’t about true happiness it was about giving himself permission to be happy; there is a difference. And then you have Jack wandering around next episode, vacuuming up power cause suddenly he’s a machine now, acting like he doesn’t give a shit over losing his dad to an entity HE’S BEEN DREADING ABOUT FOR A FUCKING YEAR. 

Towards the end of season 15 I noticed neither of these characters were acting like themselves. Their motivations, their personalities and strong ties to one another had mysteriously dissolved. Castiel became less concerned about the danger his son was facing after 15x15 (what the hell was that in 15x17?) and more about speaking when spoken to by either Sam or Dean. Does he know how Dean truly feels about Jack; proclaiming the child is “not family”? I doubt the in-character version of him would let Jack leave with Dean after that insult. Castiel’s not even worried whether or not his son is alive or safe before he makes the big confession later. And for some reason Jack (who’d become heavily suicidal) was more concerned with clinging to the Winchesters, willing to die for them, instead focusing on himself and the one person who’s shown him nothing but unconditional love and given him strength since birth. Both of these characters are canonically depressed and suffer from low self-esteem that was never resolved which makes me furious. 

When Chuck killed Jack at the end of season 14, this devastated Castiel in the first half of season 15. He actually got to grieve that loss throughout the episodes and deal with his anger over it, allowing the audience to anticipate the day they’d be reunited one last time. This part of Castiel’s S15 arc also ironically mirrors Jack’s S13 arc of mourning Castiel’s death until resurrecting him. And when this son finally returned to his father, who got to rescue him, it was such a poignant moment between the two. It was a cathartic payoff after witnessing Castiel in so much pain over Jack. There was so much building up between that Dadstiel reunion in 15x11 and the Empty’s pact in 14x08; this was suppose to be a tragic yet pivotal plot-point in both Jack and Castiel’s stories. And with SPN wrapping up we all expected something BIG. Yet somehow the writers retconned the whole thing by making it all about Dean, which is such a gross disservice to these characters and 4 years of storytelling.

For instance, since 15x18 was Castiel’s exit episode, why wasn’t he allowed to hug his son or Sam goodbye one last time? Why didn’t he have more of a focal role instead of standing around majority of the episode with barely any dialogue as so much precious air time was wasted on frivolous things? Why didn’t he get one last badass fight scene with someone like Death instead of being choked out and tossed around like a powerless mortal? Why did the group need to be split up to begin with when it served no purpose either than that *ugh* moment? Why wasn’t Jack allowed to call Castiel “dad” once before the show ended? He deserved to hear his son address him as dad!

AND WHY THE HELL COULDN’T JACK FEEL CASTIEL’S DEATH THE MOMENT IT HAPPENED? 

The show already established to the audience the significant cosmic bond these two characters shared since before Jack was even born. It was so powerful it boosted Castiel’s grace. Jack could remember who Castiel was from the womb and that he’d protected his mother. Not to mention HE FUCKING RESURRECTED CASTIEL OUT OF THE EMPTY ONCE WITHOUT GOD’S POWER. You’re telling me Jack couldn’t feel his dad being taken away forever despite how far apart they were? No, he’d feel it in his heart. Had we’d been given a scene like that at the end of 15x18 (something of substance) with actual grief shown in 15x19 maybe the episode would’ve faired better for them. 

That said it wasn’t, because Jack was treated the exact same way in his final exit. Hardly any lines and just a bunch of scenes of him standing/walking around until that pathetic reveal at the lake. HE DOESN’T EVEN GET TO INTERACT WITH JAKE ABEL’S MICHAEL/ADAM which would’ve been a great follow-up to the AU!Michael storyline in seasons 13 and 14. I swear these directors didn’t give Alex and Misha any motivation during their last three episodes and it’s evident in their hollow performances. But why would they when the scripts are basically telling their characters to quickly fuck off so the brothers can have their final outing. Jack doesn’t even behave like himself after he becomes the new God. His personality is apathetic, cold, alien, stiff and way too mature for the 3 year old child so closely connected to his family/the human world. In that moment I saw Alex Calvert not Jack Kline. It’s bad enough he doesn’t get a meaningful farewell but again Castiel, HIS DAD, is a complete afterthought to this kid 🥶

And that’s what we’re left with. Forever. A frigid, hollow ending to one of Supernatural’s most healthy, touching, family dynamics. It makes you wonder what was even the point. I can’t even fully enjoy the fact that its canon Jack and Castiel are together fixing Heaven because of what the show presented onscreen as their last hurrah. It’s not sitting right and it makes 15x20 even less appealing to me.

Moving onto Michael and Adam. Get ready for this. I could rant forever about how dirty my boys were done by this show. How they were discarded in the SPN series finale recap etc. just as they were FOR THE LAST TEN FUCKING YEARS. Was there even a plan going on here or was this just everyone making things up as it went? Their ending is the most unsatisfying and cruel thing because its INCOMPLETE. There is no real closure or resolution with them thanks to the monstrosity that was 15x19. AND NO ONE CARES ENOUGH ABOUT THEM TO GIVE A SHIT. 

Much as I’ve enjoyed this show for many years, it NEVER deserved Jake Abel, his talent or his time. I keep seeing so many anti posts about Dean Winchester’s final fate in Supernatural and all I can think about is “try being an Adam Milligan fan for the last decade”.  I’ve had to watch this boy go through hell with nothing to show for it either than years of memes. ridicule and the show’s mockery in forgetting him. Actually he’s the ONLY CHARACTER in this series you’re encouraged not to remember 😡 Also quick question: why give us this really interesting and healthy relationship between an archangel and its vessel if nothing was ever going to become of it? 

At this point I don’t know why Adam or the idea of him was even introduced way back in season 4 let alone revisited in season 5. Because the only thing I see when I look at this character now is SAD WASTED POTENTIAL. Storylines never explored. Relationships that never got off the ground. Backstory we never got to see (like for instance his past with John Winchester and his time in the cage). A character’s birthright (Men of Letters) that was never actualized. AND the unexplained factor that Adam could look directly at Michael’s true form without his eyes burning out (making him a special case). And the thing is he could’ve been a really great character, both him and Michael. They could’ve easily reached popular status just like Castiel given the chance since Jake is a freaking acting-powerhouse. We were given a taste in 15x08 just how awesome these characters could be and how they could’ve contributed so much to the story and its core group. But unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be.

Michael will never redeem himself after years of scrutiny and being made out to be some kind of unhinged monster. This show constantly enjoyed pounding into our brains how fearsome Michael was. Warned us via Lucifer (LUCIFER, PEOPLE!) that he wasn’t rational, compassionate and didn’t care about anything except war, death and destruction. And that he was incapable of feelings and emotions. This is how Supernatural saw Heaven’s Prince and guardian of the Earth. Christ, they actually did a two-year storyline about an evil Michael from the AU world who enjoyed torturing and killing while trying to destroy the universe. I want to know WHAT THE HELL THIS SHOW’S WRITERS HAD AGINST THESE CHARACTERS? Why they felt the need to bring back Jake Abel, AFTER A DECADE OF FANS WANTING THIS, if it was simply to piss all over his characters one last time before the show wrapped. This is absolutely unprofessional and childish; the fact that Jake is taking this bullshit in stride makes it all the more shameful 😡

We could’ve learned so much more about Michael’s past and his present relationship with Adam. These characters didn’t need to sit in the cage for a decade they could’ve easily been incorporated back into the show as far as season 8 or 10! And been an asset to the Darkness storyline in season 11.There were characters and storylines introduced that served no purpose. Why did we need to keep seeing characters like Charlie Bradbury or (as much as I like him) Crowley or Garth (love him too) or Lucifer or Abaddon or the Wayward sisters? I would’ve much preferred having Adam and Michael around and got to know them instead; especially after 15x08. I would’ve wanted to see what their dynamic with TFW could’ve become had they been long-time allies. Did John ever tell Mary about Adam’s existence? I’d like to see what her reaction would’ve been like had the Winchesters remembered him during that damn 300th episode. I guess that’s another loose end untied.

But because of what Supernatural did to these two characters, it forever taints Sam and Dean. I don’t think Dabb or purist fans realize this. But when new viewers come into this show about two brothers preaching important things like “saving people”, “family first” or “family don’t end in blood” they’re going to see how badly the main protagonists treated their innocent half brother. How Castiel and Jack were treated. They’re going to see the heroes of the story abandoning this kid in Hell forever with no intention of EVER rescuing him. And that’s why their final appearance leaves such a bad taste going into 15x20. Cause as much as Dabb and co didn’t give a shit about Adam and Michael they also didn’t give a rat’s ass about protecting Sam and Dean’s integrity. That’ll be a stain they can’t undo. 

So through all of it, we’re stuck with the abomination that is 15x19 aka the eye-soar to an unfinished/unpolished story of two horribly disregarded characters. Michael gets the pleasure of being character assassinated right before he’s stupidly killed off instead of going out a hero or becoming the next God (as it was his birthright and the setup was there in the narrative). And Adam gets killed off-screen, OUT OF HIS OWN DAMN BODY, then brought back by Jack only to live a miserable, isolated existence since his brothers have nothing to do with him (the dog and car are more important); his best friend is dead, he has no job or money or a fucking home and he’s legally dead! Really what is there left for him besides the brutal fate awaiting in Hell when he dies?  

SERIOUSLY THEY COULDN’T GIVE US ONE SCENE WHERE THE WINCHESTERS CHECKED IN ON ADAM TO MAKE SURE HE WAS SAFE?! 🤬 His last scene pretty much sums up this shit for what it is. Tragic. I feel like crying for this poor sweet boy.

Congratulations Dabb, BL and co for giving us these much deserved broken story arcs of characters you destroyed and made OOC before leaving the airways. You did your show’s protagonists justice by doing this *sarcasm inserted* after 15 years of being onscreen. I doubt these idiotic decisions are going to age well in the long run. They certainly don’t look good on the Winchesters. Anyway that’s my hot take for the day. 

ALL THESE ACTORS AND THEIR CHARACTERS DESERVED BETTER.

[myglogic]

Priceless | Bang Chan | 05

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Pairing: rich kid! Bang Chan (Stray Kids) x female reader

Genre: Crime, enemies to friends to lovers, angst, fluff

Word Count: 3,8k

Summary: After Chan found out who you are, he seeks advice from non other than you own father.

DISCLAIMER: Everything in this fanfic is fiction - that includes Chan’s fictional father who of course does not represent Chan’s real father! ♥

As you managed to get all of flour off your hair, you had no idea that Chan was snooping in your room. You were still feeling a little giddy from the little flour war and you found yourself wanting to spend more time with Bang Chan.

You finished cleaning up fast just so you can spend more time with him but when you left the bathroom and didn’t find him in the living room, you got an uneasy feeling. Then you saw your bedroom door, wide open. Maybe he just wanted to have a look, right? You then walked in the while drying your hair with your towel, hoping that he would just look at your decoration. But no.

He was looking at a dress. No. The dress, from the gala.

You dropped your towel in shock and the first thing that came to your mind was saying, “I can explain.”, with a shaky breath.

Chan stood there eerily calm, still staring at the dress. “You can?”, he said in a tone that was creeping you out.

You didn’t notice the tears flowing on your face. “I can! Chan, please. Let me explain this calmly to you.”

He then looked at you with glance full of disappointment and anger. “Oh, really?! What the hell do you want to explain, huh? Do you want to explain the fact that you have been basically stalking my father? Or the fact that you were the girl who exposed everything to the public at the gala and ruined my father's reputation?! Where do you want to start?”, Chan literally exploded and you felt burned by his words. Everything he said was true.

“I-I’m sorry. But I have an explanation!”, you said while crying and trying to calm him down as you were walking towards him.

“No. Y/N. I don’t want to hear it! You have been using me! And to think I fucking trusted you!”, he took a step back from you.

“Chan, please…”, you sniffed.

“Don’t cry ‘cause you brought this on yourself! Just… leave me alone. I need time to think.”, he said as he harshly brushed your shoulder to take his things. “Don’t call me.”, Chan then left with a loud slam of the door.

You sat down on your bed, now fully crying. This wasn’t normal. You should be crying because you lost Chan as an informant for your article. However, you were sadder about the fact that you lost Chan as your friend.

♥.

Chan was furious and he knew he didn’t give you a chance to explain yourself. But it was obvious that you wanted to harm his family. Otherwise it wouldn’t make sense why you would spend so much time with him. Chan sat in his car, running his hands through his hair, almost ripping them out.

He felt hurt. For the first time in forever it seemed like someone truly cared for him. He was wrong once again. Chan tried to get his act together and decided to go to a nearby restaurant. He was really hungry and couldn’t think straight at the moment.

It was a Korean BBQ restaurant and Chan sat down to drink some soju and eat to calm down. He felt horrible after what happened. It wasn’t like Chan to lash out on someone like that. Did he go too far? Did he hurt you? Thoughts like these were plaguing his mind. He knew that he had every right to be angry. But maybe he should have given you a chance to explain yourself.

“Oh…I know you!”, a man, who was Chan’s waiter, said and looked at him with a fond smile on his face. The older man who was serving him his food looked familiar.

Chan sighed, normally he isn’t that well-known but some of the older generations knew him and his family. He really didn’t want to be recognized now. “Do I know you?”, he asked politely, trying to be respectful.

“No, but I know your father. I recognized you immediately.”, he said while smiling at Chan. “You don’t look good, though. I should bring you some more meat!”

“You don’t need to do that, sir. I just ordered.”, he said, trying to convince the man.

“A young man like you needs to eat. I know that I need to eat a lot when I feel down.”, he said and quickly brought him more meat.

“How do you know that I feel down?”, Chan asked the man who looked very wise. He seemed to know what he was talking about.

“Can I sit down for a second?”, the man asked and got a nod in response. “The name is Byungho, by the way. You know, I see it in your face. I see a lot of young people here with that expression. My daughter often has that look on her face too. She is always so worried but still tries to be positive.”, he then took out his phone to show a picture of her. “This is my daughter Y/N. Despite the fact that I couldn’t give her the best life, she was still so grateful…”

Chan’s eyes widened. Now he remembered why he seemed so familiar. In your apartment he saw a framed picture of you and your family. Maybe this was what he needed. To talk to your father. “I guess you’re right. I got… some problems with a friend. She lied to me and I don’t know how to deal with it.”, Chan sighed.

Byungho gave Chan a warm smile. “Friends can give you a tough time, that’s true. But you know what? You can find a solution to be happy. Let me tell you about my friendship with your father. I bet he didn’t tell you about me.”

Chan turned to Byungho, giving him a look of curiosity. “You know my father personally? I thought you recognized me from the media or something.”

“Actually, your father and I were best friends back then; Chan.”

January 1993

“Hey, Byungho! Try to catch the ball!”, Kevin Bang said as he dribbled the basketball.

“Oh, you bet!”, Byungho said excitedly as he took the ball from him. “Loser needs to pay for the food.”

Kevin smirked at his best friend. “You think I’m gonna pay? I don’t even have money, man!”

“As if I have the money. Come on!”

“We would always play basketball together and went through thick and thin even in school. We would always help each other. Your father actually helped me to date my wife.”, your father said and remembered the fond memory.

“Come on, Byungho! She won’t wait forever. You need to ask her out. Otherwise Kyungsoo will and we don’t want that, do we?”, Kevin patted his best friend’s back and shoved him towards the girl he liked.

“Okay, Okay!”

“Wow, he did that?”, Chan said, not expecting his father to be so romantic.

“Yes. He did that. I do have to thank him for that.”, Byungho said.

“What happened? You both are obviously not talking to each other anymore. Why?”

Your father sighed. “I don’t know if you want to hear this. But a lot of things happened. This is not exactly the nice part of the story.”

March 1999

“Byungho! I invested in my first property!”, Kevin said excitedly as he sat down next to Byungho. “I will be rich in no time!”

“Congrats, mate! I hope that you will be successful. And I got accepted to culinary school. I will hopefully become the best chef in Seoul and serve the best food!”

“Dude, I will be your sponsor and you will cook me some nice meals!”, Kevin said and shook your hand. “Deal?”

“Deal.”

Chan looked at Byungho, confused. “This restaurant doesn’t belong to you, right?”

Your father shook his head with a sad expression on his face. “No. But I did have one back in 2004. I also had a lot of customers.”

Chan seemed overwhelmed by all this new information. “What happened?”

July 2004

“Kevin?”, Byungho asked the man in the expensive suit who just entered his restaurant. “I didn’t see you for a while. You must have been busy.”

Kevin took off his glasses. “Huh, you’re right. It’s been a while. Can I have a table for the two of us?”

Byungho nodded and quickly prepared a table to sit down and talk to his old friend. “I’ve seen you all over the news. Your business is really taking off, huh?”, Byungho smiled at Kevin as he poured him some soju.

“Yeah. The restaurant’s looking nice too. But it’s still a little small, don’t you think?”, Kevin said as he accepted the glass of soju. “You could have more. So much more.”

Byungho shook his head. “For the time being I am happy like this. I will hopefully expand more in the future.”

“How about now?”

Byungho sat up straight. “Is this a business proposal? Are you going to sponsor me?”

“Something like that. But think bigger. Not only 2 or 3 three restaurants. Think about franchises in the whole world! Korean food for the world.”, Kevin said with hand gestures that emphasized “think bigger”.

“You know I can’t afford that, Kevin. Are you insane?”, Byungho said, confused.

“I will not sponsor you. But I am doing something big right now and I want my best friend to be involved too. This is going to make both of us filthy rich.”, Kevin said and took a piece of meat in his mouth.

“Aren’t you already pretty well-off?”

“I am. But this will make everything better and bigger.”, Kevin leaned closer to his friend and started whispering, “This isn’t exactly legal. You see, I know a few guys who work very well with drugs. Heroine, ecstasy, molly. Anything you can think of. The money I get from that I will invest in more real estate.”

Byungho’s eyes widened and he immediately stood up in anger. “What the hell are you saying?! Since when do you deal with that shit?”

“Sit down! It’s been a short while but I want to share my method of earning money with you.”, Kevin said calmy as if this was a normal conversation.

“Kevin, you know this is highly illegal. I don’t want to be dragged into this. Leave me alone, I have a family. What if you get caught? I can’t go to jail and not see my wife and my daughter.”, Byungho said angrily.

Now it was Kevin’s turn to get angry. “Oh, really?! It was very selfish of me to think that you’d want to earn money! I thought we were friends.”

“Friends don’t do that to each other. Supporting each other doesn’t mean doing illegal things together! You have a child too, don’t you think about him? About what will happen if you get caught?”

“He has nannies who can take care of him. And I will not get caught.”

“This is stupid, Kevin! Leave me alone with this or I will report you to the police. I can’t believe that money and fame changed you this much. I can’t even recognize you.”, Byungho said, dead serious.

“I guess you aren’t the guy I used to be friends anymore. How can you threaten me right now? You will regret this, Byungho.”, Kevin spat and he got up. “I hope this restaurant goes to hell with you.”

Chan’s eyes widened in shock. “Drugs? My dad deals with drugs?”

Byungho shrugged. “I don’t know if he still does that but he wanted me to deal those drugs with him. I just couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to.”, he said, still thinking about the past. “I lost my friend then. I tried to find a solution but in this case the solution was to let him go. But he didn’t let go of me yet.”

June 2004

It was a normal workday at the restaurant. Byungho didn’t hear anything from Kevin after that day but he still had an uneasy feeling. He knew what Kevin was capable of so he was trying to be cautious.

On that day, the police came to his restaurant out of nowhere. Some of the policemen and women were regulars at his restaurant, so Byungho thought they came to eat. “Hello. Do you want to stay or take out?”

The policeman looked at him with a serious expression. “Mr. Y/L/N, we aren’t here to eat this time. We got a tip that you are hiding something in your restaurant.”

You were sitting at one of the booths, as you were a little child you didn’t understand a lot. You were drawing some pictures for your father as the police arrived.

Byungho was confused. “Hiding? What are you talking about?”

The policewoman looked at your father with a sad expression on her face because she knew your family well. “It’s serious, Mr. Byungho. We got a tip from an anonymous source. They said that you were hiding drugs.”

“This is ridiculous. Of course, I don’t have such a thing. Please, have a look at the restaurant, I can assure that this is a misunderstanding.”, Byungho said and assured them that everything was fine.

But it was not.

On that painful day, the police found drugs hidden in some cabinets of the kitchen and in the freezer. It was a big amount and nobody knew where the drugs came from. You clearly remember the day they took your father away, with big teardrops falling from your eyes.

“Mommy, where are they taking daddy?”, you asked while crying.

“Somewhere safe. Nothing will happen to him darling.”, your mother said, panicking on the inside as she watched her husband in handcuffs walk past her. Your mother was holding your closely, trying not to cry but miserably failing at doing so.

Your father was convicted of drug possession and was sentenced to 2 years in prison. The restaurant was closed shortly after that because no one wanted to go to a prisoner’s restaurant.

Chan couldn’t believe his ears. “…If I am connecting this right, the drugs didn’t belong to you?”

Byungho looked sadly at his surroundings. “No. I hired a new employee a few weeks before all that happened. Turns out he used to work for your father and that he was the one who hid the drugs and was hired by your father to do so.”

Chan started shaking again but this time it wasn’t because of you. “How do you know that?”

“I was released six months earlier for good behavior and because they found evidence that I wasn’t behind it. The employee got arrested but not your father. Nothing was linked to him but I know it was him. Because on the day of my release, I saw him. He was eyeing the whole situation.”

Chan was in shock. After all the thing his father did to him, your father still talked to him as if he was not the son of the man who destroyed his life. “Didn’t you get your restaurant back?”

Byungho shook his head. “No. It was hard for me to find a job, especially if you have a criminal record. I guess you could say that my best friend betrayed me the worst way possible. So, please. Talk to your friend. It cannot be worse than my situation.”

Chan wiped his eyes quickly. “I’m sorry. On behalf of my father. No one deserves that.”

“I don’t want your apology son. I want your father to be rational and to find his sanity. What he did to me is unforgivable. But son, you aren’t your father. Do something with your life.”

“How can you be so… civil with me? I am-“

Your father interrupted him. “You aren’t your father. I will not repeat myself.”

Chan understood now. Of course, you would hate his father. His father was the reason why your family lost everything. You just wanted justice. You wanted the world to be aware of what kind of person his father was. After all, Chan apparently didn’t know his father at all.

“Thank you, sir.”, Chan thanked the man. “You helped me a lot. I know what to do now.”

“Come back here if you need to talk to an old man. You know where to find me.”

“I will.”, Chan smiled gratefully at Byungho. “Thank you!”

♥.

As Jisung came home, he saw you crying. He immediately started hugging you and comforting you. You told him everything from the beginning. He listened to everything, then made you some tea to calm down.

“Do you like him?”, Jisung asked after taking a sip from your tea.

“No. It’s not like that.” At least that was what you thought. “I betrayed him. I don’t know.”

“It’s not about the article anymore.”, Jisung concluded on his own.

“I guess it is. You know what happened to my family, Ji. This feels like an opportunity to get justice for my family but at the same time I hurt someone who wasn’t involved at all.”, you said as you sipped on your tea.

“Y/N, you know what’s wrong and what’s right. You should sleep and get your mind off this whole situation for a bit.”, Jisung said and put an arm around you. “You don’t know what you’re doing, right now.”

“I know… Thank you for listening to me. You are the best roommate ever.”

Jisung chuckled. “I know.”

The next morning you woke up with a headache. As if you have drunken a whole bottle of vodka on your own. You then sloppily got ready for work, not really in the mood to go. And you had to take the bus because obviously Chan wouldn’t pick you up.

As you went outside, you saw a familiar car standing in front of your house. Your heartbeat quickened as you spotted the driver. Maybe, he was here on accident. As you approached the car hesitantly, you noticed Chan glancing at you. He then made a head gesture to tell you to get in.

You didn’t know what to do at first but you still got in the car. Chan started driving without saying a word. You were confused because you didn’t know why he was here.

Chan cleared his throat. “I still have to drive you to work. Since, you don’t have a car.”

You then turned to him, even more baffled than before. “What are you doing, Chan? Why are you here?”

Chan sighed. “I am here to make things right. I didn’t hear you out yesterday.”

“You… want me to explain?”, you said in shock.

“Yes, please.”, Chan insisted in a calm voice.

Your hands were fidgeting and you looked at the quiet boy. “Okay. I was the girl from the masquerade ball, that is true. I mean… you figured that out already.”

Chan stopped the car at a quiet place and fully turned to you. You took a shaky breath. “I also admit that I was behind the plan. I guess I have a personal vendetta against your father.”

Chan then stopped you and looked down. “I met your father yesterday. It wasn’t on purpose. He told me what my father did in the past.”

“So, you know. You know why I hate your father and what he did to us.”, you concluded. You tried to look in his eyes but Chan was looking away in shame. “My father lost his restaurant, his passion. He loved to cook for everyone and he was a walking sunshine. After his jail time, nobody wanted to talk to us. Nobody wanted to hire him. He had to do shitty jobs to make sure that we had something to eat and a warm place to stay. And it was your father’s fault. So, it’s true that I researched all that to show the world his true face. Because I know he has the media in his control.”

Chan took a deep breath and finally looked at you. “Is that the reason why you started spending time with me? Was all of this a set-up?”

You shook your head. “I didn’t plan on seeing you at all. When you crashed into my car, I took the chance. You have every right to be mad at me. Because I did continue seeing you because I wanted more information on your father. But I didn’t get any. At first, I didn’t like you because I thought you would be just like him.”, you said but then reached over to his hand to hold it. “But you are the sweetest person I have ever met. You are nothing like your father.”

Chan squeezed your hand. “I understand your anger. I really do. After talking to your father, I realized that I never really knew my dad at all. I would do the same if I were you. I would want justice.”, Chan said and gave you a concerned look. “If you want clarity, I can help you. This is the least I can do.”

“What do you mean?”, you asked him, confused.

“I want to know if there were more incidents like these. Especially if there were more illegal things involved. If I want to take over his company, I need to know if there is more dirty money involved. I want a clean company and I want justice for people who were hurt by my father.”

Your eyes widened. “You want to help me?”

You were shocked. What did this mean? Did Chan decide to turn his back on his father?

“Yes. I don’t want to get the media involved. At least for now. But I want to solve this. With you, Y/N. Because I know you have a lot of information about my father already and with my help, we can maybe find a way into his office and find more evidence.” Chan looked at you with determination in his eyes.

Right at that moment, you wanted to bring up the article and your job. But you couldn’t. Chan wanted justice for everyone his father hurt including your family. He wanted to do the right thing. If you brought up that you were journalist who wanted to publicly destroy his family, he would probably never talk to you again. Right now, however, you didn’t care about your job or the article. You found someone who was willing to help you and who cared about you.

You were questioning if you should even write that article. Minho would probably still let you write it because he knew how interested you were at writing the frontpage article. But for now, with the help of Chan, you could finally find out the truth behind Kevin Bang and his illegal businesses.

“You aren’t mad at me anymore?”, you said with a worried look on your face.

Chan sighed. “I was mad that you lied to me. But I understand why you did what you did. You were in a tough position and I honestly acted like huge dick yesterday.”

“No. I should have told you. So… everything is fine?”, you asked him for assurance.

Chan nodded. “Yes, Y/N. I am not mad at you, I am mad at my father. That is why I want to work with you on this. So, are we doing this? Like detective partners?”, Chan asked, once again squeezing your hand as if he was saying that everything is going to be alright.

“Like detective partners. Let’s do this.”, you nodded at him with a smile on your face.

[theunderdogwrites]

2020: The Year I Lost My Ass

Well, we reached the end of that toilet roll only to start another one, because that is what we do for as long as we are allowed to continue revolutions around the sun – we keep going.

2020 was a terrible year for so many. My brain is incapable of processing the number of losses suffered on a global scale. Be it jobs, security, rights, sanity, relationships or life. My brain is not just incapable of these calculations, it has plain refused to entertain those thoughts on behalf of my heart. My heart, that sensitive little blood pumping work horse who not once allows itself to stop. Thank goodness.

I don’t believe the majority of people are willing and able to bring themselves to fully comprehend what was lost in 2020.

Here is a list of a few more losses suffered last year:

- People lost their shit. And over the most ridiculous things like toilet paper, having to wear a mask to secure toilet paper and being held to the consequences resulting from not wearing a mask when asked to while attempting to purchase toilet paper. Pause for a moment and let that last sentence hang around in your mind. 2020 made that happen. I didn’t make it up! Recently I saw a news piece showing a man (40’s) lying down on the floor in a Costco to protest being asked to wear a mask. He spoke loudly, he beat his hands at his sides and wildly kicked his legs when an employee asked him to get up. Now, I am not judging for I too have participated in such behaviour MANY times. Granted I was three, but hey… some of us mature faster than others.

 - People lost their damn minds. 2020 should be dubbed “The Year of The Karen”. For those of you not in the know about the Karen phenomenon, here is a description courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

 “Karen is a pejorative term used in the United States and other English-speaking countries for a woman perceived as entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is appropriate or necessary. A common stereotype is that of a white woman who uses her privilege to demand her own way at the expense of others.’

 Basically, a Karen is a I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER type person (There is a male equivalent, but it seems no one can agree on the name… Chad, Terry, Kyle, Kevin, Steve). You can often find a Karen on her cellphone calling the police to report a black man who lives in her neighborhood, simply living his life in her neighbourhood. I didn’t make that up either.

 More recently a Karen was videoed in a UPS store claiming that she didn’t have to wear a mask because that space was government property and not a private business. Would it be safe to say that most Karen types suffer from a lack of oxygen to their brain? Possibly. But that would involve science and Karen types DO NOT enjoy hard facts.

 As always when I download my thoughts into reality, I must go within and search myself. Am I a Karen? My immediate answer is: no fucking way. I can honestly say I’ve never once asked to see a manager or called the police to report someone eating their lunch on a park bench. I do not enjoy confrontation. Unless there is a bully involved. Then I will drag that person to hell with me. I much prefer discussion over going straight to the ‘I triple dog dare you!’ approach to the world. (If you got that reference, you are my new favourite) Because that is who a Karen really is… someone who jumps right to the most extreme action in order to satisfy their need to be superior. Truly, we should feel sorry for these people because instead of engaging they’re raging. And how awful must their insides feel… always full of anger, fear and self doubt. I say instead of judging these Karen types or putting them on blast on social media, we should hug the shit out of them. Just grab them and squeeze as hard as you fucking can until they stop talking. Peaceful solutions my friends, peaceful solutions.

 - Pets lost their faith in us. Children a close second. If you are a proud owner of a pet or a child, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve always operated under the notion that my cat loves it when I’m home and hates it when I leave. 2020 has taught me it might be the other way around. Because our animals are, well, animals we just believe our presence is the greatest gift in their lives. Remember when you were old enough to be left alone by your parents and once you had the taste of that kind of freedom, you just wanted more of it and couldn’t wait for them to go out? I feel it’s like that with our pets now. We might not think animals have a routine or preferences or enjoy some alone time, but we’d be wrong.

I think at first our pets were thrilled. If we are home more it means more time for prolonged petting, walks and the opportunity to ritualistically train us to respond to their caterwauls for more food and treats than normal. But then as the weeks of lockdown and working from home increased, so did our pets desire to kill us in our sleep.

 I’m pretty sure my cat has asked me several times using her feline glare: “why the fuck won’t you just leave?”. It would be naïve of us to assume we don’t disrupt their day with our constant noise making and snacking and scotch drinking that leads to a good buzz that leads to showing too much affection to our pets. To the point where they run and hide when they see us coming. Please tell me I didn’t describe just my own experience.

 There is such a thing as everything in moderation, we know this, so I think it can be applied here. People, get away from your pets. Give them the space you often desire from human beings. Because if you don’t, that random turd in your shoe could be pointing to a much larger, more alarming problem you’re about to encounter.

 I had the absolute blessing of being able to assist in caring for and raising of my three nephews (12,9,6) for the last 11 years. So, when I say: ‘children are always watching us’, I feel I know what I’m talking about. I’ve been mimicked so often by these young boys that I’ve had to pause due to mortification. Children will hold you accountable without even knowing it. I’ve had some behaviours of mine corrected by a 5-year-old and let me tell you, it stings like hell.

 As adults, when our world was thrown into turmoil because of Covid-19, we looked to our medical health professionals and our politicians for guidance. Basically, we searched for those who would lead us. The children – looked to us. And while many adults handled this responsibility the best they possibly could, many more failed miserably and displayed attitudes I can only describe as juvenile, damaging and pathetic. I suppose it doesn’t help if the people the adults are looking to for help are themselves - juvenile, damaging and pathetic.

 When I say we still have not grasped just how much has been lost over the past year, I’m hinting at integrity, compassion and creditability. Three vital qualities you’d hope people want to instill into their children. But if they themselves are unable to display such valuable traits, what does this say for the children who are looking up to them as an example on how to act when life gets challenging?

 For myself in 2020, I gained by losing.

When they locked our gyms down for four months last spring, I came close to being one of those people who lost their shit. While people were moaning about wearing a mask for 20 minutes in the grocery store, I was contemplating if murdering those people could be considered a cardio exercise and would that hold up in a court of law.

To reflect on that time period now (especially since our gyms are closed AGAIN at the moment) the loss of the gyms brought me the knowledge of how important the routine of going to and being in the gym is to my mental health. I won’t launch into how I feel about shopping malls being open and gyms being closed despite their proven benefit to one’s overall health because then I really will lose my shit.

People always say getting to the gym is the hardest part and once they’re there it’s easy to workout. And for many that is the truth, but for me it’s all a part of the workout. Getting to the gym is the psychological effort. Putting in the work at the gym is the physical. You can’t have one without the other. I became so pathetic that I’d often walk to the closed gym from my house, stare at the closed doors and then walk home. 1.5 hour round trip. True story.

Remember a few years back everyone became obsessed with that Netflix show ‘Tidying Up with Marie Kondo’? It is the show where that lovely woman from Japan showed us all how to declutter our homes by getting rid of anything that didn’t bring us joy. Those acid wash jeans from 1989… sit with them… hold them close to your chest… if they don’t make you happy, remove them from your space. Well, the same idea can be applied to people and ideas and even feelings. And 2020 was a great year for simplifying our lives. I’ve heard so many people talk about how they can’t wait to get back to ‘normal’… not me. I’ve already started my ‘new normal’.

The loss of drama has gained me peace and a better understanding of the importance of remaining true to who I am instead of trying to please others in hopes it wins me points. Because it doesn’t. Because its inauthentic and only brings you more loss and more drama. And anxiety. And sleepless nights. And an overall sense of hatred for everyone. 2020 gave me the option to no longer care about the things that don’t make me happy and to embrace the process of letting all that stupid bullshit fade away.

It was a year of gained focus.

It was a year of gained appreciation.

It was a year of gained gratitude.

It was a year of gained love for myself.

 I’m going to leave you now, but not before I share one of my favorite songs by the Tragically Hip:

In A World Possessed by The Human Mind

Just give me the news

It can all be lies

Exciting over fair or the right thing at the right time

Everything is clear

Just how you described

The way it appears, "A world possessed by the human mind"

 Then I think I smiled

Then I think you said, "it's fine"

And quietly I dressed, in a world completely possessed by the human mind

 We're in awe of no one

We've none of their fear

Fighting's goin' nowhere and we stay right here

Where everything is quiet

A little super dangerous

"In the shadow of the law and with colours of justice"

 Then I hope I smiled

Then I'm sure you said, "It's fine"

They got no interest in a world completely possessed by the human mind

 Everything is quiet

A little super dangerous

Quiet enough to hear God rustlin' around in the bushes

Oh, but it was you

Girl, I was so afraid

You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

 Then I hope I laughed

Then I hope I said, "it's fine"

And quietly undressed in a world completely possessed by the human mind

 Oh it was you

Girl, I was so afraid

You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgXphurrsE0

[softmariposa]

breathe

(disclaimer) don’t read this unless you really want to know my truths and fears.

The question of why i don’t think i can achieve my dream of someday having three kids and a husband. which got me thinking about a whole lot of shit. 

my mom and i got into a fight last night about beba. my mom is a very jealous woman, and she is very possessive over me. i understand that she wants the best for me and has always given me everything i have needed materially, but she doesn’t believe in me. 

i refuse to go to a therapist because i know there are issues that i am not ready to address and other memories that i have hidden from myself for a good reason. 

many people disapprove of the way that i go about life, giving everyone everything i have. in a sense, this is how i was raised and this is all i know how to do and i am not ashamed of it. the difficulty i find is that i don’t allow myself to be loved. there is nothing i would love more than to have someone worry about me and care for me, but i don’t want to be a burden. if i had to pinpoint when the change of happened, i could say it was when pascual went about telling three people about my trauma. i am used to giving an endless amount of love and affection to those who allow me to. i just don't know how to let people in and tell them how much i need them which is why a lot of my relationships, whether familial, romantic or friendly, have failed. i tend to close myself off from the possibility of needing someone and them leaving. i guess you could say i have abandonment issues. 

with my father, i recently started to hold it against him that he left me because i got to see how he took care of my three-year-old sister. i  saw how he fed her and carried her and i blamed myself for lacking in some way for him to leaving. 

with the friends i have lost, i have lost them because it seems that i make them feel perfect in order to be my friend. they fear to disappoint me and that should never be the case. there should not be any fear of fucking up because everyone fucks up in life and that is okay. it is a matter of accepting your faults and moving on. trying to do better and knowing that inevitable you are bound to fuck up again. 

with my mother, she does not know the amount of love that i have of her because she is too caught up in her own demise. she has labeled me in a way that forces her to feel disappointed in me. 

dona beba is one of the people who i will forever be grateful for because she does not judge me for the things i do and my mistakes. i can come to her with my problems and she just listens and lets me be. she loves me flaws and all. 

when it comes to love, i thank God every day for showing me what it feels like to be loved and what affection looks like through my extended family in costa rica and daniel. my tias would wake me up and just care for me. they would call me anything from princess to “mi corazon” and i have never felt so loved. 

with daniel, lots of things can be said. i can say that he made me a better person, a more loving person. yes, shit hit the fan. yes, he fucked up, but regardless of it i still love him and probably always will. to my understanding, i was not lacking in any way or form but i know that he resented the fact that i did not bring him around to my family. and it was a matter of him not being good enough or me not wanting to show him off, but more of me not wanting to burden him with the ugly reality that i have of my family. i guess i could say i am ashamed of them. they always find something to say about whatever i do or whatever i dedicate time to. they hate me for being myself and i didn’t want daniel to deal with the amount of shit that my family entails. he brought out the beauty of love in me because i have never shown someone so much love and affection. the extent of it was more than the physical aspect of it. i didn’t need to say much about anything because he already knew what i wanted to say; i guess you could say he saw me for me. it was a child-like love. love in the purest form. not my first love because that award goes out to stephanie. but a love that is for the books. i believe in him so much, as i do in my mother, brother, mia, monica and others. he has the purest heart, he has a free spirit, and sweet soul. i don’t think he believes in himself as much as he should. i don't think he knows how deserving he is of love despite his faults and flaws.  i know that i don’t have the power to show him how valuable he is, but i think the world of him. 

my brother is one of a few people who wishes i could rely on him but it is not in my nature to do so. he knows that i bottle up emotions. but that is how mom raised me. i was her emotional crutch. i was there for her when she had no one else. and that is what is hurting her and me at the same time. kevin’s addiction with meth really hit me like a brick. i understood why daniel ran away from houston. it’s why i am running as soon as i can because it is too much. during those months where my family was struggling with this i really wanted to call danny or his mom for advice because i didnt know what to do. i would always get on him about how he should be there for his sister but that is when i understood the difficulty behind that.

 alex, i love him to death. there is no one i would love to protect more than him. i don’t think of him romantically because it is not in me to do so. but i want nothing but the best for him because he deserves it. i also can’t show him all of me because he could never understand or comfort me. i require someone who can truly empathize with me. he has asked me over and over to see my private tumblr but i can’t because i fear being judged. as is he judges me for loving daniel as much as i do. i know the two of them could be great friends for each other. 

the purpose of “softmariposa” is for me to find a medium to show who i am and the things and memories that i wish to keep for the person who i know will accept me and all of my thoughts and views on life. 

[princessdevy03]

Tumblr Exclusive!!!

Author’s Note: For @anybodihearme. Here’s to blanket forts, days spent in bed, and long trips to cabins in the woods.

The Cabin: A Marriage Bed

When Kevin wrestled Edd back into the bed, the ravenette was a bit exasperated. It was nearly noon, which meant half the day was gone. Despite the current mist in the air, he was sure the weather would clear out soon and they could get out and about and enjoy what was left of the day.

While he didn’t mind days spent in bed, he didn’t want to spend his honeymoon wasting the day away when he could be out exploring this tiny piece of paradise Kevin had been bragging about for years.

“Beds are meant for sleeping, Kevin!,” he protested as he tried to wiggle away from the redhead’s strong embrace, but Kevin wasn’t letting go.

“Annnnd?”

“And what?!,” Edd asked incredulously until he saw the conniving glint in Kevin’s eyes.

While Edd was keen on showing his students how to show their work, Kevin was keen on showing him just how he worked.

When they were kids, that meant chasing Edd and his friends around to wail on them for a scam failing and hurting him or his ego in some way and then bully them into giving him his quarter back.

When they got to be teenagers, Kevin would try to show him that he could be a good friend. Edd gave him an A for Effort before he gave his own friendship back, though.

Then they reconnected in college and Kevin showed him love.

And now he was about to show him what else the bed could do.

Edd was sure he knew that beds were more than for sleeping, as he had done his fair share of non-sleeping activities in his own beds over the years, but something about the look in Kevin’s eyes let him know that this wasn’t going to be their usual non sleeping bed activity.

At all.

“And we have yet to consummate our marriage is what!,” Kevin growled as he started to yank off Edd’s pajama pants.

Edd sat up slowly as realization dawned across his face and his pants hit the floor.

“I am so sorry, Kevin,” Edd said breathlessly as he started to tug off his tshirt and Kevin sat back on his haunches and stared at him as Edd wrestled himself out of his own clothes.

The last week had been busy with wedding activities.

The first was a Sunday meet the family brunch with both sides of Kevin’s family as they came into town to celebrate the twosome’s long awaited union.

Monday, Kevin had dinner with some of Edd’s out of town family who couldn’t bear to be shown up by Kevin’s welcoming bunch.

Tuesday, Edd had one last bachelor hurrah with his other Ed friends and spent the night on Kevin’s couch because Ed laid him out on it as soon as Edd stumbled inside the apartment and fell flat on his face, his plans to get some lovin’ from his fiancée going down with him. The redhead woke up Wednesday morning to a surprise guest in his very hungover fiancée, but they still had to go to work because it was the last day of school.

Thursday, they packed their separate apartments and moved into their new home together, but crashed as soon as everything was unpacked and put away.

Friday was the rehearsal dinner after Kevin spent the day helping Edd clean up and shut down his classroom for the summer and they got married Saturday evening after breakfast with their friends, getting wedding ready over lunch, and then tons of pictures before the wedding itself.

Nearly every night had been spent together, but not in any way like what they were used to since they started dating.

And when they got to the cabin, between the long road trip itself and Kevin being eager to show Edd around, they both just forgot to do what newlyweds are known for doing now that God and society says they can.

This near self-imposed drought needed some rain and because their status to each other had changed, so did their love itself.

To have a spouse, a husband, someone who has promised before God, your mother, your best friend, and your damn dog (they both claimed Nazz’s yellow lab, Missy, who served as their ringer bearer and flower girl, as their own) to love, honor, and cherish you is a phenomenal thing and needs to be treated as such.

But sometimes life happens and you forget.

Edd counted himself truly blessed to find someone like Kevin who would forgive and bring him back to where he belongs when something so important slips his mind.

Especially since he acted a bit like a brat when Kevin went out on a long run yesterday morning.

But Kevin felt at fault as well.

Between showing Edd around and just being weary from all the wedding stuff, especially since he was so used to having Edd around all the time, loving on his husband wasn’t at the forefront of his mind because he loved Edd every day.

But this late, misty, grey morning was perfect for playing catch up on love.

When naked Edd sat up for a kiss, it took everything in Kevin not to pin him to the mattress.

His husband, someone he thought he would never have, least of all dorky ass Double Dee of all people, was laying in a bed that so many newlyweds in his family made love, and in a few cases, their children in.

This was a marriage bed.

Love was made here.

Vows renewed.

Bonds strengthen.

Babies made.

Considering the latter wasn’t  an option for them in the traditional sense, Kevin at least hoped that however a child came into their home, they would bring them up to the cabin and could cuddle up together with him or her and ride out the storm outside the drafty windows.

He didn’t want to rush it even though they were two days off from making this whole thing official, but God Almighty did he want show Edd how he felt.

Kevin held himself over Edd as he leaned into Edd’s kiss and slowly pushed him back into the bed.

He pulled Edd’s arms from around his shoulders and ran his hands up them until their fingers were interlocked above Edd’s head, the whole while they never stopped kissing.

When Edd started to ease his legs around his waist, Kevin fell into the embrace and a moan that should have embarrassed him escaped his throat, but he didn’t care because in Edd’s arms, just like this, is where he needed to be.

He wrapped his arms around his man and just held him.

Austin may have awaken feelings he tried to keep dark as puberty dawned on he and his peers , but being in the light with Edd wasn’t scary at all. It was comforting.

And being with Edd in this bed, was sheer Heaven.

The feeling of Edd’s hands in his hair was soothing, his kisses warmed his heart and soul.

When Edd’s hands left his hair to roam his back and sides, Kevin was feeling like a cuddled kitten til his sweet husband showed his Double Devious side and grabbed his ass.

The sound that left Kevin’s mouth because of the gesture wasn’t human and scared a few critters trying to keep dry under the bedroom window’s awning away, but Edd was so used to it that he only chuckled when the redhead blinked green eyes at him, wide with shock and just a bit of eager anticipation.

“Later,” Edd grinned. “I thought you were going to show me something about the bed, though?”

Kevin bit his lip as he pulled off his sweat pants and Edd shook his head as he looked him over with lustful appreciation.

“What?,” Kevin whined, withering a bit under Edd’s hot gaze.

“You do know that grey sweatpants on a guy is the male equivalent to lingerie and then you have the balls to go commando,” Edd said lowly as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Says the man who wakes up every morning looking like sex itself,” Kevin as he crawled back between Edd’s legs. “That and I forgot to bring my boxers into the shower with me last night.”

“Uh huh, forgot.”

Smirking green looked over teasing sapphire and a split second later, Kevin’s hand was on Edd’s cock while Edd sucked Kevin’s tongue in his mouth and set ablaze a million fantasies about what else the genius’ mouth could do.

Edd’s arms flailed when the kiss broke and he did his best to dig into the night stand’s drawer to pull out their lube but Kevin’s mouth was working a hickey into his collarbone and he couldn’t breathe. A teasing bite made him flail again and the lube flew out of his hand, but Kevin’s hand was quicker.

“And that’s how I won the 2008 College D3 World Series,” he smiled and Edd laughed.

“I know. I was there!”

Kevin rolled his eyes as he lubed up his fingers and the memory of locking eyes with Edd right before he threw his last pitch ricocheted across his conscience.

He had closed his eyes and taken a breath to steady his nerves and then looked up into the full stands to get some sort of reassurance that he wasn’t about to throw his life away.

It was the bottom of the ninth inning in game seven, there was a full count, the tying run on third, the winning on first, and the guy was a speed demon.

The batter he was facing was a switch hitter and he hated switch hitters.

His dad always told him to make sure to switch up his pitches because he would never know when he’d run into a leftie.

He’d struck him out at the top of the third when he batted right, but now the guy seemed to be mocking him by batting left when it was all on the line.

Thanks to Edd’s help and encouragement, he had kept his high C average and if he passed his finals he’d have a B average for the first time ever. But he was also wearing on a few donors nerves because he could pitch, just not pass his tests like they wanted.

But Edd and Nazz always told him to he had it, but his problem was that he would just over think it and then lose it.

He’d gotten better at just letting the material flow to and through him, but baseball was a whole different ball game.

Then he saw them.

And him.

Edd was sitting between his mom and Nazz and while his mother had her head in her hands, her prayer beads dangling off her finger tips, Nazz’s fingers were crossed as she whispered a few prayers to the skies.

But Edd’s lips moved and what Kevin read off of them answered his own prayers about what he had been wishing for for years. And the advice he gave him gave them a chance to keep their good thing going.

“I love you. Now drop your sinker.”

Kevin let his sinker loose and the switcher swung at nothing but air.

Their kiss in a dark corner off the long hall that led from the locker rooms to the parking lot had them both stealing his breath away but he gave him his heart and he caught it and would always hold on to it.

Now he was looking into those bright, loving blue eyes again and begging Edd to breathe and while the man was willing, Kevin’s immediate actions were making it rather difficult to comply.

The pressure and the pain would always ease into a pleasure Edd would kill to keep in his life, but the getting there was a bit arduous.

In the haze that was his mind, he was sure he heard Kevin’s whispers of adoration, his reassurances of harmless actions, and promises of love and devotion, but his brain could hardly focus on anything but the stretch in his ass til he felt a kiss to the head of his dick and Kevin’s finger brush past his prostate.

His body went tense for a brief moment and his vision saw nothing but Technicolor spots as his mouth let out a moan and he finally relaxed under his husband’s touches.

“P-Please don’t stop.”

And Kevin took all of him down his throat.

A hand is in his hair and guiding him through Kevin’s Special Kiss as the other seeks out Kevin’s free hand and holds on tight in a sad attempt to hold on to reality.

Kevin takes a quick glance at him as he sinks a third finger inside of him and watches his man dance to the brink of undone.

His head is tossed to the side as few tears slide down his cheeks, his jaw is slack, and he’s breathless.

Another suck as the final finger slides inside has Edd’s back arched off the bed as he tosses his head back and forth and calls out Kevin’s name.

His cheeks are red and he’s pink all over, sniffling and incoherent.

But he doesn’t let go of his hand or his hair.

Kevin knows he could send him over right this instant, but holds back because the bed has only been barely put through her paces.

He slides his mouth off of him, then his fingers out of his ass, and they both pout.

“Just…five seconds…please,” Kevin pleads with him as he slides a handful of lube on himself to make this consummation they need the one Edd deserves.

The delirious man barely nods as he watches Kevin prepare himself, wanting nothing more than him filling him up rightnow.

Five seconds later, Kevin’s covering his face in gentle kisses as he pushes his knees into his chest and Edd takes the breath in he needs to ride the worst and best of it out.

The pain is only slightly searing but it’s also fucking amazing as each tiny breath he lets go fills him with so much pleasure.

A rough hand gently knots itself into his messy hair as he whispers, “Move,” and he moans as Kevin pulls his hair, then himself out, before falling back inside.

His head falls back on pained moan as the bed silently rocks with Kevin’s slow movements, and when Edd starts to rock with him, it’s as if they were in their own cradle, being gently rocked by Mother Love herself.

He wraps his legs around Kevin’s upper torso , his arms around his neck and just holds on.

It’s gentle.

It’s slow.

Purposeful.

Meaningful.

They’ve made love before, but never like this.

Kisses were soft despite the hard, needy look in both of their eyes.

Kevin took the hand that had been supporting Edd’s back, reached behind himself, grabbed the sheets and blankets, and wrapped them in a cocoon, his hips never ceasing their movements.

Literally wrapped up in all the love he could ever want, a happy sob left Edd as lighting cracked across the sky and the power flickered.

“K-Kevin, please…God, I love you…just…please…”

“Hold on.”

He buried his face in Kevin’s shoulder and squeezed him close as their erratic movements made him dizzy. But when Kevin whined out his name on a needy moan he pulled himself up to kiss him again and again.

Tearing his mouth from a breathless kiss, he arches his back on a groan and comes untouched.

But Kevin’s hands are clawing at his back as the redhead falls apart before falling into his embrace.

Words of love settle over them and light up their afterglow as the sky goes black and the storm falls overhead.

When they can focus again, Kevin runs to the in suite bathroom and gets a few hand towels to clean up the mess before letting Edd borrow his pants and grabbing the boxers he forgot to pull on after his shower last night.

“Can sweatpants be an anniversary gift?,” Kevin asks as he pulls Edd into a soft cuddle.

“Hmm,” Edd mused as he tapped a finger to his chin, “The second anniversary gift is traditionally cotton, so I guess they can be,” he grinned as Kevin pulled him closer so he could hold his plump booty in both hands.

“And now you know what you’re getting in two years!,” Kevin cheered and Edd giggled as he rolled his eyes.

“The modern gift is China.”

“The stuff we eat off of or the country?”

“I’ll take both,” Edd snickered as he kissed his cheek. “But you’re not getting these pants back.”

“Meh, I’ve got plenty,” Kevin sighed as he rolled over and pulled Edd with him so he could lay on his chest. “Gotta make sure my man thinks I’m still sexy and shit.”

Edd sighed and ran his left hand down his face and while Kevin would usually shrug off the action, he was too busy staring at his engagement ring.

He didn’t care how exasperated he made Edd as long as he wore his ring because that ring meant that Edd was always his to exasperate and love.

He took Edd’s hand and kissed his ring as Edd blushed and settled into his spot under his left arm.

In doing so, the bed shifted a bit again, so Edd made an exaggerated move of snuggling closer and the bed rocked him into Kevin’s side again.

“This thing is like a cradle,” he yawned as he settled his head on Kevin’s chest.

“A lover’s cradle,” Kevin grinned as he kissed his forehead.

“Good to know, because I’m gonna love you in it again soon,” Edd murmured sleepily.

“I’m gonna take this thing with us at this rate,” Kevin snickered and Edd shot him an annoyed stare that Kevin just grinned at.

“How about I order us a new bed?,” he sighed, still slightly exasperated over the fact that they had to play a best out of three game of rock, paper, scissors to figure out who’s bed would go with them to their new house.

He lost and Ed got a new bed.

Now he’s suggesting they do it all over again. But he’d do it as many times as he needed if it meant he got to sleep next to Kevin because of it.

Kevin’s eyes went wide with joy at the prospect of being able to sleep in this bed every night and he slowly nodded as Edd leaned into kiss him.

“Choice,” the ravenette snickered as he settled next to him again and Kevin snorted.

“Whaddya want for food?,” Kevin yawned as he wrapped himself around Edd.

“Soup?,” Edd murmured as a sudden burst of rain pounded the roof.

“I’ll get right on it,” Kevin whispered as Edd drifted away in sleepy awe in his husband’s strong, warm embrace, every slight movement rocking him in the love of their marriage bed.

[berrysbestbloggityblog]

13th February 2017- All for the Game series

Author: Nora Sakavic Genre: Thriller, sports, relationship Rating: This is the only series ever to challenge Harry Potter as my favourite. It is incredible Favourite Quote(s): (You should be lucky I narrowed it down to five) ‘Fight because you don’t know how to die quietly. Win because you don’t know how to lose.’ David Wymack, The King’s Men ‘Is your learning curve a horizontal line?’- Andrew Minyard, The King’s Men ‘I’ve been a problem for nineteen years. I’m too tired to be one tonight.’- Neil Josten, The King’s Men ‘Don’t look at me like that. I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren’t mine.’- Andrew Minyard, The King’s Men ‘I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.’- Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, The King’s Men

I’m going to warn you now, this is going to be long, and spoiler-y, and probably make little structural sense.

 So I hate sports. Any kind of sport. I just about tolerate swimming, and never just doing lanes.

I would also probably sell a kidney to be able to play Exy.

This series, quite honestly, has changed my life (and not just about sport). It features; diversity, therapy, alcohol, abuse survivors of all kinds, not enough playing the actual sport, torture, the MobTM, extreme character development, my OTP and too many chess references.

I will start, quite appropriately, with Neil Abram Josten, the many named man. I will not lie and pretend that one of the main reasons I love this series is not because Neil is the first canon demisexual character I have ever read. As a demisexual, this representation was something I didn’t even know I had been craving until I got it. His character made me more secure in my identity; he meant that I wasn’t making it up, that I was real and valid and there wasn’t anything wrong with me. I wasn’t picky or just ‘hadn’t had enough alcohol yet’ (thanks mum); what I felt was different but it wasn’t bad. For all the demisexuals out there, Neil was a godsend.

(For clarification on Neil’s sexuality I recommend reading SpangleBangle’s one-shot ‘Swinging Along the Z Axis’ on Ao3.)

More than that, Neil’s character just broke my heart. He’s haunted and hunted and desperate not to let anyone else get caught in the crosshairs. He doesn’t always do the smart thing, but he does generally do the right thing, and never takes the easy way out. He’s scarred and easily triggered and in some ways damaged, at least when he first arrives at Palmetto, but never, ever broken. Not even Baltimore or Evermore could break Neil Josten and while he’s sometimes regarded in the fandom as the soft to Andrew’s sharp, you’ll never find the Foxes thinking that because Neil is sly and underhand and play’s dirty when someone he cares about is on the line. If Andrew had to be the one to cut the deal with Ichirou, he would never have gotten out of that car alive.

He asked Andrew TO HIS FACE why his ex thought Andrew was tying him up, and didn’t clock for a single second until Andrew literally told him he’d blow him. He asked Nicky if they were friends because he’d never had any before. He is about as quick to get a social cue as I am running. He is so respectful of Andrew’s boundaries even before he found out why, even before their deal. He left Andrew, a person whom nobody had ever admired, whom no-one had ever been grateful for despite Andrew giving up EVERYTHING for them, with “thank you, you were amazing” and figured that would be enough to cover the destruction his death would bring. He chose being tortured by Riko on the off-chance it might spare Andrew some pain, and he chose to be taken to quite literally his worst nightmare, giving up his life and his freedom and everything he’d managed to accomplish that year to keep his Foxes safe.

For the first canon demisexual, he’s certainly setting the bar high.

I’ll save Andrew for last, so let’s get on to the rest of the Foxes.

I’m quite sure I could write an essay on each of them (except maybe Seth. Sorry. I just. Hated that guy). For your sake I’m going to keep it short, but feel free to ask me for a full character eval I’ll be happy to do it.

Matt Boyd- Literal sunshine, saw actual homeless child Neil Josten and decided immediately he would die for him, half of the brOTP of the century, you just KNOW he’s so sweet and attentive and respectful of Dan because she’d never go out with him otherwise. He canonically has a white and orange themed wedding… I actually can’t. He didn’t blame the Monsters for forcing him to go full cold turkey even though he knew Andrew didn’t do it for him and he was ready to fight to keep Neil after Baltimore.

Dan Wilds- Absolute BAMF, can and will kick your ass, the only female captain in Class I Exy and she’s had an uphill battle on her shoulders for years before Neil or even Matt arrives at Palmetto. She has short hair and probably wear gym shorts 90% of the time but she’s still allowed to dress up without everyone being like ‘omg wow dan in a dress’ like it would be in any other book. She was a stripper and she owns it because it’s what she did to survive and it was selflessness not ignorance or anything else that’s stereotypically attributed to strippers, that drew her to it.

Renee Walker- Basically a flower, if it was a flower that could also slit you from neck to gut and plaster on a serene smile a second later, she’s an accepting Christian who isn’t gay herself (*cough* EXTREME RENISON SUBTEXT THO *cough*), she’s working her way through her trauma in a way that is healthy, she wants to put her past behind her but she’ll bring it out to protect/help her friends. She’s the only person that stays with Andrew without some kind of deal between them and she doesn’t do it out of pity.

Allison Reynolds- will slay anybody with her look, refuses to let her grief break her, came through being cut off by her family for not being picture perfect and an eating disorder with confidence and grace and sass. She’s brutally honest in a refreshing way and I think that post King’s Men, with all the secrets out of the way, her and Neil can become much closer.

Aaron Minyard- oh he’s an asshat but he still wheedles his way into your heart. He loves Katelyn more than he probably thought possible, and he’s so snarky I love it. He also killed Drake despite training to be a doctor which I think is something everyone always forgets. I think the thing that annoys me the most about him is not that he’s mean to everybody but that he doesn’t even try to understand Andrew; he just immediately blames him and hates him but not enough to let Andrew go.

Nicky Hemmick- ‘let’s get this straight: I’m not’, nobody really talks about how horrific his childhood being raised in such a homophobic household did to him. They sent him to CONVERSION CAMP and only falling in love with Erik managed to save him from that dark place. His parents refuse to love him on account of his sexuality and then they manipulate him in order to set up Andrew for rape. Obviously it’s Andrew who gets hurt the most here (well I mean Drake dies but like that’s a good thing) but Nicky, like Neil, has to live with that guilt for the rest of his life. He’s a constant ray of positivity despite everything, despite his cousins never thanking him for doing this long-distance mess from his home just to be there for them.

Kevin Day- oh Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Kevin comes perhaps the farthest of all the foxes over the course of the series and it makes me feel so proud. I screamed in delight and had to put the book down to do a little victory dance when he got his Queen tattoo. I worry sincerely about his liver. He’s a sad little history nerd who has made Exy his LifeTM and an actual asshat on the court. Probably about as good as Neil at knowing how to make friends and he shows he cares through Exy references only but I still love my toll bean.

Ok. Deep breaths. We’re onto Andrew.

Sometimes I think about his character and it just makes me tear up slightly? He’s an apathetic shitty midget who hates Neil and sits on tall buildings because he’s scared of heights for the AestheticTM. Basically everyone on this Exy team is some shade of LGBT+ and yet there’s no similarities between how they express their sexualities. Andrew is gay and a sexual abuse survivor and a foster kid and ex-juvie, but he’s not stereotyped into any of the boxes any other series would put him in.

I know too many people who have been sexually abused. Any other time that I’ve read a book where someone was sexually abused it was either liberally ignored/easily overcome or the person was driven to committing suicide. Neither is particularly helpful to survivors in my opinion, not that I am any kind of expert, and therefore Andrew’s story blew my mind. Andrew is never going to ‘go back to normal’. He is always going to have boundaries and yes or nos and triggers. He is never going to smile often or take Neil off on romantic dates or care about more than his minimum. And that, that is ok. There is no checklist for trauma survivors that they have to work through to be counted as better. Even more brilliant than Nora allowing Andrew to be changed permanently by his trauma, is the way he has an active and encouraged approach to his own recovery. His relationship with Bee is something I truly treasure. I am lucky enough to have not ever gone through something similar to Andrew, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be extremely happy that other people have that representation. Recovery is a slow process, with setbacks and bad days, which is also shown in this series, but it’s possible.

I like that Andrew didn’t always somehow magically know to go and get therapy. He survived Drake through self-harm and while he doesn’t encourage it, which is good, he also doesn’t completely demonise it like some people do. I will be the last person to condone harming yourself, but wanting to be able to make choices in an otherwise choice-less situation is completely understandable.

Proust trying to ruin his scars makes me want to vomit.

He was put on meds after he attacked some men for attacking his cousin and everyone thinks he’s dangerous? And manic? And out of control? Neil is perhaps the first person Andrew lets in enough to understand that everything Andrew does has a reason, and while it’s not always a good one it is also never a selfish one. Their relationship was a trust-build for two and a half books and it makes it so much more powerful. By the time they progress to anything physical, they’re already tied by something unbreakable, not that Andrew’s likely to admit it any time soon.

This is already like five pages long oops so I’m going to round off now.

This series made me laugh, and cry, and I quite literally screamed into my pillow when Andrew finally kissed Neil but I think most importantly it opened my eyes to lots of previously not-thought-about topics and I’m a better person for having read it.

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[month9books]

Riverdale Recap and Review - Season 1 - Chapter 7 - In a Lonely Place by Andrew Buckley

That 50’s style comic book opening scene with Jughead wearing his crown and Archie in the sweater with the bowtie was beautifully shot, iconically accurate, and all sorts of creepy. This is something that Riverdale does well, I’ve seen it since episode one and they’ve managed to maintain it almost every single week so far: they commit to the weekly theme and they hit it hard right on the offset. Sure, they’ve only got 42(ish) minutes to work with so there’s no time to beat around the bush, but major props have to go to the producers, writers, and showrunners for consistently hitting the right notes in what’s become an almost perfect symphony of characters and story arcs. This week’s themes of ‘home’ and ‘hope’ are driven like a knife through Archie’s back during that opening sequence that narratively asks the question as to what a home truly is. We’ve seen so many different homes in Riverdale already, it’s easy to see why that particular theme probably gets revisited more than most but it was especially poignant this week with Jughead’s story. So let’s get to it . . .

I feel Archie redeemed himself a little this week after last week’s severe dip in his collective IQ. While he doesn’t shine through as being incredibly intuitive (he managed to ignore the fact that Jughead was homeless for how long?) he grabs some major points for having a heart of gold. He feels bad that he wasn’t there for Betty during her time of need and he fights to help Jughead by arranging for Mr. Jones to go back to work even though he doesn’t even have the full back story yet, he just wants to help his hurting friend. His dedication as a friend despite differences or awkwardness actually gave him a few moments to shine. Yes, he’s completely overshadowed by everyone else on the show but I still feel he gained a little ground this week.

After Polly’s magical escape from the mental institution, she sneaks (like a ninja) into her parent’s attic only to be found by Betty. All the characters in Riverdale have such strong personalities and stories, I’m having a little trouble getting behind Polly though. While she’s obviously not the ‘party girl’ that the Blossoms paint her to be, there’s something not quite right about that girl, and her continuing to cling to wanting to go live on a farm somewhere just doesn’t seem grounded in reality.

Either way, Betty helps her, first by appealing to the Blossoms via Cheryl, and then by Veronica’s intervention to move her into the Lodge residence. The Blossoms once again reiterated that they’re the big, evil, rich family of Riverdale by pulling a Rumpelstiltskin. They want Jason’s baby but they couldn’t care less about Polly, and I can’t completely blame them for that because we really haven’t been given enough reason to sympathize with Polly just yet. The Blossoms want the baby, but Cheryl, in an off-character moment of morality, wants what’s best for Jason’s unborn child and turns on her own family to place Polly in a safe place. This is sure to cause even more conflict in the Blossom household but it looks like Cheryl is beginning to hold her own against her deranged mother, which is nice to see.

We should get this out of the way before I get into this next story point. I love Veronica. Not the character as such, but more Camila Mendes’ portrayal is just so spot on that it’s scary. Which is why this one is tough to write about because her grandiose sweeping gestures and on-point wordplay has been stunning so far. But this week our dear Ronnie headed into some cliche-ridden waters and it was a shame because the character deserves better. Veronica holds a grudge against her mother for forging her signature, not because it was wrong, funnily enough, but because it would paint her in a negative light with her father (daddy issues much?). She proceeds to head out for a night on the town (Riverdale has a nightclub? And a busy one? On a school night?) with Kevin, Reggie, and Josie in order to defy her mother into negotiating with her. It feels like a classic rich girl move and that is too much of a departure from what we’ve come to know about Veronica. While it represents her past life, it’s a life she’s determined to leave behind but goes ahead with it anyway. In the end, all it boils down to is a quick convo with her mother, and all is well again in the Lodge household. Although it will be interesting to see how Mr. Lodge reacts to Hermione’s deception. 

Hats (and paper crowns) off to Skeet Ulrich for almost completely dominating the performance side of this episode of Riverdale. I say ‘almost’ because Jughead is the one that steals the show and delivers the feels. Jughead has pulled a Harry Potter and now lives under the stairs at school. We learn the reason why is because his Dad is somewhat of a deadbeat and his Mom and sister have left town. Father/son stuff always rips my heart a new one so I fully felt the story this week. Jughead wants his Dad to get his act together and he’s holding onto hope that it can actually happen and that it will eventually lead to a happy home, in one form or another. After Archie and Jughead get FP his job back, it all seems to be going well, until they head out for dinner and old demons join them at the table at Pops. We learn the backstory of Fred and FP’s friendship, their doomed partnership, and the clear signs that they hold each other responsible. I think Fred comes out on top here as FP obviously has some issues when it comes to making the right decisions above his own self interests, but they’re both a little at fault and I was shocked that Archie actually cut through the crap and addressed the issue with his Dad. Sure, FP was bad for business but did Fred ever consider what it would mean for Jughead’s family? In true Fred Andrews fashion, he quickly redeems himself by inventing an alibi for Jughead to help prove he’s not the murderer.

Jughead getting taken downtown and questioned was a bit of a leap for Sheriff Keller but I think he’s really grasping at straws at this point. The killer is in town, we’ve already met him, but no one knows who it is. There were a lot of great scenes between Jughead and his Dad but their relationship, and the weekly themes, are driven home by the confrontation behind the police station. We can truly believe that FP wants to clean up his act and wants Jughead to be proud of him, but he lacks the motivation and willpower to do it and prefers to continually blame others for his actions. Jughead on the other hand clings on to hope that his Dad can turn his life around and rebuild their home as a family, but it was clear in that scene that Jughead doesn’t truly believe it to be possible and, furthermore, his Dad knows it too. Which is why Jughead moves into the Andrews household and FP willingly lets him go.

This week’s cliffhanger piece is the sight of Jason’s jacket hanging in Mr. Jones’ closet. We last saw that jacket in the hidden car last week so it could be that Mr. Jones torched the car, Jason had multiple jackets, or someone else fired up the vehicle and then planted the jackets in Mr. Jones’ trailer . Mr. Jones is too obvious to be the killer so we can scratch him off the list. (As my Polly/Betty multiple personality theory got shot all to hell, I have a new one . . .  which I’ll share before next week’s episode. Stay tuned!)

What is a happy home in Riverdale? It almost doesn’t exist because every household is so rife with drama and problems that it seems impossible. But this episode was all about hope for a happy home and we can only assume that our dear characters will find exactly that, in one form or another. Even if it’s just an air mattress on a friend’s floor. Just hopefully not anytime too soon because the drama on this show is just so much wicked freakin fun! 

STRAY THOUGHTS OF AWESOMENESS . . .

- Polly jumped out of a window and, despite there being blood on the glass, she survives completely unscathed. I think it’s safe to say that Polly is a mutant/immortal/vampire or something to that effect.

- The Cooper’s attic is the place scary things go to die. What’s with those freakin dolls?!

- The Betty/Jughead (Bughead as the kids are calling it online) is still pushed to the back of the bus again this week. Juggie putting his arm around Betty causing Archie and Ronnie to address the gesture brought some of it to the surface but it’s still not sitting at the forefront of the story. Understandable though as there’s a ton of other stuff going on.

- The Team Blossom hunting crew has actual hunting dogs. Dogs are well known to be very useful when tracking pregnant teenagers.

- I’m seriously looking forward to when we get to see Mr. Lodge in the flesh. It has to happen. We all know it!

- Mr. Blossom’s wig disturbs me more and more every single week.

- Alice Cooper continues to be evil. Not Penelope Blossom evil. But evil. Press conference outside the church? What? Why? Worst mother of the year award goes to . . . 

Andrew Buckley attended the Vancouver Film School’s Writing for Film and Television program. After pitching and developing several screenplay projects for film and television, he worked in marketing and public relations, before becoming a professional copy and content writer. During this time Andrew began writing his first adult novel, DEATH, THE DEVIL AND THE GOLDFISH, followed closely by his second novel, STILTSKIN both published by Curiosity Quills Press. Andrew also writes under the pen name 'Jane D. Everly' for his HAVELOCK series of novels. Look for his first upper middle grade novel HAIR IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES available now fromMonth9Books with the sequel scheduled for release in August 2017.Andrew also co-hosts a geek movie podcast, is working on several new novels, and has a stunning amount of other ideas. He now lives happily in the Okanagan Valley, BC with one beautiful wife, three kids, one cat, one needy dog, and a multitude of characters that live comfortably inside of his mind.Andrew is represented by Mark Gottlieb at the Trident Media Group.

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