#Keep theorizing :3

[tadc-harlequin-au]

I feel like the man in the red coat might be able sue to the little tuff of blue in the center of his costume.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Why is B’Elanna Torres the cutest girl in the world?

[naomiknight-17]

I'm up to episode 25 of the Magnus Protocol now and I have spoilers thoughts

Is this Celia THE Celia after all???? Did she come here from the original dimension the first story took place in? Are her "childcare emergencies" somehow related to that other dimension?

Or is she from the same world as Sam and Alice and just... connected to the Magnus Institute there in some way? Was she one of their 'gifted' students?

Also

That dark thing with all the eyes that is after Gwen. Clearly an entity tied to the Eye or whatever passes for such in this world. And apparently this world's Jonathan Sims died when the Institute was destroyed. But when Sam and Alice were digging around in the ruins they broke something, released something - was that it? Is this thing... is it what's become of this world's Johnny Sims!?

[the-acid-pear]

These two lines really make me feel like Susie is only a bully for, let's say, survival reasons. But that's as coherent as i can get so i'm going to ramble the rest of my thoughts on the tags.

[kaitobromota]

theorizing about the latest chapter of @dangans-ur-ronpas fic with @izurulovesboats

[mazojo]

Good omens has been trending for like a week straight, glad to know we are all feeling very normal about this and it’s not causing us any sort of meltdown

[sysig]

Fallen Angel, Uplifted Human (Patreon)

[digirainebow]

i am getting more and more nauseous with every dont look away video nss uploads

[theonlyadawong]

once upon a time, capcom made carlos a communist mercenary whose group ultimately killed by an "anti-guerrilla operation" (which. i mean. its likely a u.s. backed operation, given that destabilizing communist groups is literally what they do. also that phrase is taken from the wiki) and umbrella came, scooped him up and put him in the ubcs, and this all happened in the 1990s (the year is never specified :/ ) and 1993 was a presidential election year in the united states and so it's likely one of the hot button issues leading up to the election was the communists in south america (brazil? it's never specificied where carlos is from, though oliveira is a portugese last name so. brazil.)

[raspberrybluejeans]

joining a fandom late is so bittersweet

[chemicalarospec]

My experience with Hannibal so far:

Jeff the killer: kills people. Mutilates and eats them too.

Me: Yeah that's alright with me (skipping the eye gore tho)

Jeff the evil liar: evilly lies to someone about the cause of their psychosis

Me: I Am Not Okay With This

[sunderwight]

SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a kind of mimicry demon.

He still gets tasked by the System with replacing Shen Qingqiu, except this time he actually has to pull off an imposter role on multiple levels, while the real Shen Qingqiu is stuck in a coma due to his qi deviation. Initially he thinks the situation is going to be temporary -- just take over until he figure out how to get the original goods to wake up -- but Shen Jiu's condition proves to be more difficult to repair than just waiting. Shen Yuan buys special side missions from the System to find items and artifacts to keep Shen Jiu alive, mainly because he doesn't want to be stuck playing this part until Luo Binghe kills him, but also after the first couple of times Shen Jiu regains some consciousness (not enough to leave his bed), Shen Yuan starts to feel kind of... bad for him. Too. Despite everything.

Shen Jiu, of course, is deeply suspicious of this doppelganger that has obviously taken advantage of his weakness to infiltrate the sect and steal his identity. He initially theorizes that the creature must be keeping him alive because it needs some aspect of his vitality in order to keep posing as him, but as they share more encounters is forced to concede that the thing might just be insane? And weirdly softhearted. Over time and by feigning sleep to listen in on Shen Yuan's muttering, he figures out that this all has something to do with Luo Binghe, which he's not pleased about. But he can't deduce what. (Luo Binghe doesn't get to move into the side room in this version of the story, because Shen Yuan has the house on lockdown for obvious reasons, but he does still get to make Shizun's meals!)

Anyway, Shen Jiu doesn't manage to conveniently wake up before the Immortal Alliance Conference. Shen Yuan has to throw Luo Binghe in, which he hates, but along the way he manages to recover that magical flower macguffin that won't work on Without-a-Cure (which he doesn't have in this AU because his species is immune to it), brews a tea that finally fixes Shen Jiu, and then fucks off to go mope about Binghe being in the Abyss.

Shen Jiu doesn't tell anyone about his demonic replacement, for a variety of reasons. One, he's punishing the other peak lords for not figuring it out themselves. Two, he's punishing himself for the fact that a literal demon replaced him for like 3 years and everyone considered it an improvement. Because it was. Three, he has mixed feelings that might potentially amount to not wanting to hunt down and kill Shen Yuan, but he's not admitting that even to himself.

Everyone thinks that Shen Qingqiu's return to asshole form is a result of Luo Binghe dying, and that his sudden new research projects are part of him like, trying to make sense of a senseless tragedy, and coping. But no, he's still trying to figure out why the fuck Luo Binghe was important and why Shen Yuan inserted himself into their lives only to basically just do Shen Qingqiu's job while he was indisposed, and then fuck off the moment Luo Binghe left the picture again.

After... healing Shen Jiu. Also. For some unfathomable reason.

But this version of the System's just happy that the plot is back on track! And surely it will stay back on track. Yes? Problem solved, right? Shen Yuan? Definitely nothing is going to mess with the rest of the story, cough cough, wait why are you visiting User 01, and what would you, a demon shapeshifter, need with a Sun & Dew seed...?

[starsofang]

thinking about johnny being completely smitten with an extremely reserved reader <3

johnny was head over heels from the very beginning. he couldn’t pinpoint when it had happened, but maybe it was when you first joined the force. at the initial greeting, he’d struck you with one of his bright smiles, only for a blank canvas to stare in return.

you hadn’t said a word, not a peep, and while others would be turned off by such reclusiveness, he was in awe.

an enigma, you were, and johnny was someone who loved a good puzzle.

you were cold and distant, but not in the way that was cruel and unnerving. you didn’t throw out snarky comments, you didn’t show a single bit of rudeness when somebody’s ticked you off. you weren’t hard headed, nor did you pitch a fight. you were a calm sea with peaceful waves lapping at the shore. a light rain on a dry day, one where in ancient times would’ve been a blessing from the gods. as cold as snow, but the kind that layered the ground in a fresh sheet of white right after a blizzard, painting the earth with powdered beauty.

if anything, you weren’t cold at all. you were just so incredibly awkward that johnny couldn’t help but be smitten by it.

you were that type of awkward where social cues were nearly impossible for you to comprehend. jokes didn’t land quite right whenever somebody made them, and you’d give a blank look to whomever fell victim, added on with a dumb “what?” because you didn’t understand it.

johnny’s been an unfortunate victim on many occasions. he’s always the type to nudge you on the shoulder with a crooked grin as he spilled out whatever joke ghost had told him over comms, only to be met with your complete and utter confusion.

that never stopped him, though. if anything, it made him much more determined to search up more jokes on the screen of a burner phone, reading through every single one and noting them in the back of his mind.

you were also as stone-faced as could be. some theorized you were a robot, others thought you were a demon in disguse. an experiment, placed into 141 as a trial run.

really, expressing yourself just wasn’t your thing.

you felt emotions, sure. plenty of them. you could find the humor in the occasional bar night with the force, amused at the linger of carefree conversation that carried between the men. you just didn’t show it.

it wasn’t something you realized until johnny had made the point of asking you if you ever smiled. thinking back on it, you recalled never directly doing so. you’d do it in your head, but when it came down to it, no, no you didn’t.

johnny was determined when keeping a goal in mind, and found himself ruthlessly running towards that goal of seeing you smile. he was enamored in the thought of seeing the slant of your lips when they curved upwards, in seeing your eyes crinkle and glimmer with delight, and he’d go through every single joke website in order to make it happen.

it took him an approximate year of you being in the force to get it to work.

it was lame, really. hardly one of his best jokes, he’d drunkenly slurred out, “what rank are all cats in the army? corpurrral,” with a tongue roll effect to go with it.

you had burst into laughter, filling the bar air with ringing church bells that he swore made the drunken state of his mind believe he was truly on his way to heaven. the gates had opened, inviting him in. he was levitating, slowly floating his way to the clouds.

your smile was like a breath of air — refreshing. it filled his lungs with such purity that all the cigarettes he’d smoked over the years of being in the force seemingly melted the thick layer of tar away, leaving him clean and refurbished.

it was like a drug, and johnny found himself seeking more out to get another taste, even if it took him another year to do so.

this is lowkey self insert bc this is my personality offline and i think other people who are so painfully awkward with socializing are cute and deserve love. wrote this with no sleep and a dream, silly ramble before i go to bed

i also just really love johnny, goodnight

[mochamadeleines]

Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)

tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah

authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking

You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for. 

You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.

You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.

But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much. 

He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.

Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed. 

You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.

Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft. 

Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.

You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open. 

“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”

“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”

He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”

Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.

Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”

“I dunno, sorry.”

“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”

“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.

Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”

“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.

“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him. 

“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”

Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry. 

You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead. 

He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.

“You uh.. You look nice.”

You blink. “I look nice?”

“In my shirt.”

That gets a smile out of you. 

Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.

Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”

“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.” 

He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay. 

“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?” 

“Sure. Id really like that.”

While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless. 

When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.

You speak up after a little while.

“Joel?”

“Mm.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”

You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”

“Id think ‘bout it.”

You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”

“S’really not.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”

“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.

“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”

“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”

“Uh. Digiorno?”

“Digiorno.”

After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you. 

“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”

“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”

“And whos fault is that?”

“Still yours.”

“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”

Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.

Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”

“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.

Actually scratch that, he cant be normal. 

“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.

“Mm?”

“Your leg. Move it.”

A few beats pass. “Why?”

“Because…” Wow,  he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.

“Are you-”

“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.

“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.

“This is normal.” 

Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.

“I-I know.”

You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.  

“Youve been taking your medication, right?”

Has he?

The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”

“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him.  “...Want me to remind you?”

The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”

“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”

“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”

“I know.” 

In a whisper, “Okay.”

Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.

Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”

He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured. 

You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes-”

“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”

“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”

Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”

“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”

He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.

Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.

“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.” 

“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.

You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-

“And I want you to feel me,”

Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.

Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore. 

There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.

Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?

He likes that too. Making you not think.

Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.

And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.

Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.

Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.

The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.

And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible? 

You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.

The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”

“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”

“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”

Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.

“Hi, Lee.” 

Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross. 

And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you. 

Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him. 

Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.

“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”

“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”

“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”

“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now. 

“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts?  I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.” 

Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about. 

You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”  

Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”

“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”

Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”

“No, that really wont be necess-”

Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door. 

“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.

“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”

“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”

“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”

Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”

“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”

“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”

You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.

Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.

“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”

“This early?”

“I like being punctual.” 

“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.

“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.

Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.

-

Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.

Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys. 

Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match. 

The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock. 

The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.

Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.

You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.

Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”

“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color.  He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.

"These were Sarahs favorites."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."

"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"

"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."

You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.

“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”

“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”

“Does not!”

“Does too.” 

The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with. 

You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”

“Lets see if it tastes good.”

You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!

Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”

You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand. 

“Darlin’.” 

“Right.” 

For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.

“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”

“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”

“What time is it?” 

You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other. 

“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”

“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."

“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”

You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.” 

“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?

“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”

“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does. 

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat. 

You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.

“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”

“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”

He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”

“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”

“Agreed.”

Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city. 

“Uh, Joel?”

“Mm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to kill time.”

“Yeah but where?”

“Youll see.” 

Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."

“Almost there.”

Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.

The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.

“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”

“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you. 

He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you. 

You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.” 

Your heads spinning. Something about your dress? 

“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”

“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.

“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.” 

Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.

Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you. 

“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”

You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”

Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”

His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down. 

Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”

A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.

Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.

“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”

His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing. 

“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”

“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”

Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.

Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.

Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.

He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-” 

“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”

Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.

After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.

Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ some animals.” 

And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head. 

Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.

A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.

“Joel- S’too much-”

“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.

"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.

Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.

“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.

“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.” 

With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.

He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt. 

“Oh fuck-” 

“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.

His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.

It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum. 

Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.

“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”

He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath. 

Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.

Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”

“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless. 

Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.

Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”

Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well. 

“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”

Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”

“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel-  Im yours.”

“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw. 

“Hhah-  No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”

The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me. 

Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.

Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden  youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect. 

Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.

When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.

Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.

“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.

“Mm?”

“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.” 

Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.

“I need my underwear back.”

“Nope,”

“Joel.”

He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead.  “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”

You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”

“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.

“Youre the worst.”

“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.” 

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

book 7 part 10 thoughts!

***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 PART 10 OF THE MAIN STORY!!***

Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that roughly unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.

This update spans part 158 to part 191.

BAHAHAHAHAHA THEY'RE AT THE CORAL SEA (not "in" it yet, more like at the surface level of it) AND JAMIL'S ALREADY UPSET OVER THE LOCALE

Jamil comes up with the smart idea of using ice magic to make a boat for them all. Silver takes up the oars (how princely lmao) and Ortho praises the second years for being so reliable!

WEL;ANJFDBIUGSOGSBIAF THAT BOAT DIDN'T LAST LONG, LITERALLY ONLY A SINGLE PART BEFORE WE CAPSIZE????? We see a dark and gloomy place with an abandoned ship, similar to where Ariel was exploring in the opening of The Little Mermaid. The gang can breathe though, since Idia hacked in bubbles around each person to provide them with an air dome made of magic nanomachines.

THERE HE IS FELLAS, MERMAID FLOYD PULLED UP. Mmm, interesting?? He sounds really flat and bored, expressing that he no longer has an interest in land creatures since everyone was weak + so easily deceived by Azul. Floyd also seems to report that Azul has found success with Mostro Lounge...? And Jade is probably supporting him there.

Floyd tells us that he's been traveling Twisted Wonderland in his dream world. He's been to the Shaftlands (Fairest City??) to try out the latest fashion and model (but got bored because he was asked to work exclusively with the brand), worked part-time in a restaurant in the Sunshine Lands (but got bored because so many people wanted to eat his food), and exploring the Scalding Sands. Floyd wandered the desert and found a black magic lamp in the Cave of Wonders and decided to bring it home because Jade said "the teapot" would be nice to have. Floyd summoned the genie and used it to wish for delicious food, www

He mentions having plans to visit other places too, like the Queendom of Roses, Briar Valley, Sunset Savanna, etc. (Floyd's looking for a challenging opponent to fight!!) But now he has returned to the sea, even though he considers it boring too. Floyd basically tells them to fuck on off and then stares floating around depressingly.

Idia theorizes that Floyd must be "resetting" his dream again and again since Malleus has set the parameters to achieve a "happy ending". Since Floyd is constantly dissatisfied, the dream continues to scrounge for something that will please him. The happiness never really lasts long though. The group decides that they have to provide him with that strong foe he wants to shock him awake!

OH MY GOD Silver and Jamil just walk up to Floyd and tell him he’s in a dream. Of course he doesn’t believe them????? But then they start telling him stories of things that happened irl including clarifying what it was that Floyd had done to disrupt his own first year opening ceremony. Apparently he grabbed Riddle’s hair and went “oh, it’s bright red but it isn’t hot”, which led into a massive fight with Riddle shooting fire at him. The staff (specifically Vargas) had to hold Riddle back. There’s another story of how Floyd tried to fight Cater but Cater used his UM to hold Floyd back and bro wiped hard 💀 According to Idia, Malleus and Leona also beat Floyd in combat.

Jamil talks about how sometimes Floyd would find it hard to keep up with him and/or how Floyd would get in trouble for wailing on the younger kids in their club. The headmaster wasn’t happy and made Floyd clean up the gym for a week

Wh A t😭 Grim recalls how Octavinelle made us HOMELESS in book 3 (and then how they got their asses beat BUT I’M BAWLING AT THE AUDACITY)

The dream manifests a fake Jade and Azul to drag Floyd deeper… We finally get a non-OB octoform Azul to look at!!

They goad Floyd and say he shouldn’t lose to land creatures, so beat them back and then the three of them can live peacefully in the sea together. Silver warns Floyd not to listen to the fake Jade and Azul, but he ends up not needing their help??? Instead Floyd blows up at the fakes and claims Jade and Azul would never say such boring things. Like, he actively gets SO pissed off that they’re borrowing their faces and voices to try and deceive him 😭

They tell Floyd about what’s going down and he’s delighted??? He starts calling out locations and the dream responds to it, he thinks it’s so interesting. Idia and co. panic because this spike in activity could alert Malleus OTL

They theorize that Jade’s dream may take place in the mountains, so Floyd should change into a land form.

When they change to Jade’s dream, Floyd praises Silver’s UM. Silver is flattered but Jamil is thanking the stars that someone mindful like Silver has Meet in a Dream and not Floyd. He says Floyd would probably abuse the UM and give people nightmares lmao

Now they’re in a part of the Coral Sea that has tons of underwater volcanos. Floyd saves us all from a blast of black smoke from one of the vents. Idia warns the air domes are not strong, so one blast from the smoke could drown them all.

Floyd suggests Idia make merforms for everyone. However, Idia says it’s hard to do, especially on a short time frame, since he lacks data on merpeople.

OOOOOH Floyd reveals his bioluminescence!! Looks so pretty aaaaaaah ✨ (He calls it “counter illumination”?)

J WORD SiGHTING

OOOOOH I GET IT, the volcanic vents are like the sea’s equivalent of “mountains”. He and dream!Azul are exploring this area looking for a gold mine or something. Interesting that Jade dreams of still assisting Azul for fun…

sguaddr(dFacFFh ??!!\!]]!£]!] AZUL????? He got hit by a blast from the vent while casting magic on it to get to some gold ore he spotted. Jade gets a good laugh out of it.

WHO THE FuCK ARE yoU, WhY Sre your eyes SO Big AnD WAtERY

Azul tearfully declares he won’t give up and Jade gases him up 😭 YOUR DREAM IS TO BULLY AND ENABLE HIM??????? WOW J WORD

Floyd claims he would never go mountain climbing with Jade but then—

WhAT YHR fUVkinh FVkkkKKKKKKKKKK

THAT’S DREAM!FLOYD?????!!?!!! HE LOOKS SO FRIGHIn DERPY 😭 😭 😭 BRo JUST StARTS EATINg SHRIMP AnD HAPPILY GOING AlONG WiTH wHatEVEF JAde AsAyS

Floyd gets pissed off seeing all of this and goes in for the attack. Everyone panics, but Jamil pulls a Silver book 7 part 9 and basically tells them to let Floyd cook 💀

Dream!Azul of course tries to convince Jade that Floyd is dumb and cute and everything, not some THUG cbjssbkwebodnxsk Jade is convinced that “this” Azul and Jade would use useless without him so he buys dream!Azul’s lies. FLOYD GETS MORE ANGRY THRymRE GONNa BRaWLLLLLLL

Uhhhh so fighting doesn’t wake Jade up. Idia suggests this is because while Jade doesn’t have a particularly strong imagination, he’s good at exploring possible scenarios within himself…? Not sure if I totally understood the wording here (I’ll have to double check with other sources later), all you gotta know if that punching was ineffective. ***Edit: It’s because (according to Idia), Jade has a strong belief in himself.***

OH, WORM??? J WORD AnD FKOYD ArE mAKinG HISSING NoiSES At eaCH OYher As THEY FIGHT (the NPC Azul and Floyd are busy cowering in a corner) 🍿 I believe it was previously said in a voice line or some vignette that when the twins fight, they get VIOLENT and it’s kinda funny we get to see it on-screen now.

Sebek gets the idea to stop both of the twins’ movements with his UM. (Very thoughtfully, he warns everyone, particularly Ortho, to stand back before he casts Living Bolt.) It works very well because salt water conducts electricity better than distilled water!! I think that helps Jade with realizing something’s off because right when dream!Azul and Floyd rush to him, Jade points out that the real ones wouldn’t call him “cute” and such.

WHoa WHOA, sCARY hot

Aaaand we got two eels added to the party! Onward to Azul’s dream~ (jxbsksvxiwnw J WoRD THROWS uP)

We’re underwater again! Jade theorizes it must be because Azul has expanded the Mostro Lounge into a worldwide chain, since Azul has expressed the desire to run a successful restaurant business like his mother.

We hear cheering, it seems to be from a Coral Rush (underwater ball) game. It’s similar to Magical Shift, but instead of brooms you ride on the backs of dolphins. Coral Rush is popular among merfolk!

WhAT

If I was drinking something then I would be spitting it up right now because WhY IS AZUL AN ATHLETE (If I’m understanding this correctly, he’s playing for a Coral Rush team called Golden Trident? And he’s the LEADER) 😂 I guess maybe because he’s been insecure about this weakness of his…?

MAN. Jamil is going to bully his ass later about this, I just KNOW he is… Azul goes all chuuni and shouts “KRAKEN SHOT” before scoring 🪦 Cringefail bbg…

OH MY GOD THIS SHADY BITCH

Jade has “-san” in quotation marks 💀 HE’S BEING TOTALLY SARCASTIC

Fun little detail, it looks like the Octatrio had a group handshake…? Jade and Azul do it here and later Jade and Floyd do the same, ending it each time with a cute little “yaaay” 🥺

dndjsnkweneow Jade asks Azul to sign Idia’s tablet OTL YOU ASSHOLE BE SO FR RIGHT NOW

Azul remembers “Leech-kun” and “Leech-kun” (*shudders*) from elementary school. His team mates call out to him and Azul invites us to their victory celebration at his mother’s restaurant (which finally gets a name!!! It’s called La Grotta). Apparently it would be hard for your average student to get in, but with Azul’s invite we should be okay!

Jade starts brainstorming again and suggests that this dream is what we see because Azul wanted you to erase the sad past in which he was bullied. He says he won’t divulge too many details since it involves Azul’s privacy (aw, the ONE time he decides to not leak info 😂).

Aaaaah Idia says he has a bad feeling about something… which gives ME a bad feeling…

They arrive at La Grotta and Azul casts a spell that makes an anemone crop up on everyone’z head?! Azul says that anemones are the most formal hair accessory one can wear in the sea; it makes them “fit in” more. He leaves Jade and Floyd alone though since they’re already merfolk.

Uhhhh Grim gets distracted with dancing and drags Sebek off with him??? Okay???

The entire time this is going down, the twins are watching silently.

Grim, Sebek, and Ortho dance but they end up falling down. The mob merpeople start to laugh and make fun of land creatures. It’s then we learn that Azul lied about the sea anemone being associated with high status, it’s instead something that indicates stupidity. So… uh… He just wanted to bully us??? This whole dream is playing out like a bitter high school revenge fantasy…

Azul says the twins can stay if they play Coral Rush with him. Surely they’re tired of hanging around dumb land creatures right? It’s better to come along with him.

Floyd makes a mess and passes an antique to Jade, and the two start to “play” with it. (… Nah, they start breaking shit 😬)

LOL???? Is Azul threatening to sue the fins off of the twins??? He’s all like “MY PAPA’S A LAWYER YOU KNOW” at them… (He also calls his mom “mama”; the word choice and behavior really makes me think he’s a mama’s/daddy’s boy.)

Jade says to everyone that we should move onto the next dream. He pretends (?) to leave, which triggers a memory of book 3 where Azul declares that he’s always going to be alone.

HMMMMMMMMMMM, there’s no dream!Floyd or dream!Jade to lure Azul to the darkness, only the mermobs 🤔

Ortho expects the twins to dive after him, but neither of them do 🤡 They say it’s Azul’s choice to dream more deeply, so they’ll allow him to.

Grim drowns in the darkness so we (Yuu, Silver, Jamil, Sebek) go after him. Ortho tries to appeal to the twins by saying if they don’t follow, then they’ll be trapped in the dream forever. Sooo Jade and Floyd depart into the dark. Ortho is left wondering if this coldness is actually how the twins express trust.

LOLLLLLl???????? Azul’s setting the photo of their class trip on fire and laughing like a maniac… (He also has apparently gained Ramshackle AND stolen the UMs of his fellow dorm leaders.) I counted, Azul has no less than like 3-4 Evil Villain Laughs this update 💀 OKAY KING POP OFF LIVE LAUGH LOVE

They split into two groups (the player gets to go with J word 😳), each with the goal of taking out one of the dream!Tweels. Jamil lures dream!Floyd out to the basketball court under the false pretenses of a special club activity (where a strong merman opponent would be present).

Jade meanwhile goes to the botanical garden?? And he starts to smash plant pots… He claims it’s a dream so it’s okay! It’s not like he’s doing this because he wants to (lie). Jade makes (anemoned) Grim take a bunch of rare ingredients he “harvested” to Mostro Lounge.

Azul becomes interested in the ingredients and wants access to the source to maximize profits. Dream!Jade is led off by Grim and Yuu to the woods behind campus. SILBEK JUMP HIM—

Jade uses Shock the Heart to learn where Azul has moved the contracts. They weren’t in his office vault when the group checked earlier; the contracts are now in Azul’s room…? Which… I feel like that was such an obvious place to check, not sure why the thought didn’t occur to them sooner??

They find the contracts but there’s like 500 of them and no efficient way to destroy so many in a short amount of time. Ortho suggests his beam, but it might result in collateral damage to them if he fires it this close. Floyd says they can just trick Azul into destroying the contracts himself but before they can say anything more they hear voices getting closer.

Jade and Floyd return to Azul warning him that someone is after his contracts, so Azul, concerned, asks for the contracts so he can relocate them again. When they don’t, he starts threatening them (even saying that the headmaster is under his thumb too, no one at this school can oppose him).

Azul is baited to cast a spell at them, which Floyd deflects with Bind the Heart. He then summons anemones (Ace, Deuce, Riddle, Leona, Kalim, Idia) to help him. Some mob anemones called him “Azul-sama” in dead-sounding voices which. Makes me think maybe he stole Jamil’s Snake Whisper in the dream too??

Together, the twins keep taunting their dorm leader until Azul unleashes King’s Roar. They use Bind the Heart once again to redirect Leona’s UM and dust the contracts ✨ (We also got Floyd’s UM chant!! Roughly: “This is a nice place/it was just getting good, but how about I interrupt it?”)

NxdbsjsbkFAJHQAN OF COURSE THAT’A WHEN AzUL BREAks 😭 and it happens like automatically too… The loss of the contracts really is a sore spot for him.

Here comes the suspicious black gloop again~

Azul starts to sink down BUT THIS TIME YHE TWINS CALL OUT HIS NAME AND GRAB ONTO HIM?????? Jade even specifically tells Azul to “take his hand” and instructs Floyd to help pull. Ayo… the “take my hand” imagery again…

Waaah… Octavinelle trusts each other so much?? When Silver warns them that he doesn’t know what will happen to the twins if they end up in Azul’s abyss, Jade and Floyd wish Azul luck/don’t go to hell AND AZUL’s CASUALLy LIKE “you too” 🤡

Azul finally faces his OB self!! How interesting, he tells his OB that with the weight of all that he stole from others, it’s hard to move. I think he means that metaphorically… like, it’s hard to achieve personal growth if all you do is take and hurt people. “Unlike you, I’ve learned.” He wants to make his dream of making everyone bow down to him a reality on his own. Azul’s not satisfied with this, he wants something of “real value”.

Azul wakes up back in his mom’s restaurant and surrounded by his team members. He asks them to sign a contract which states they will all continue playing hard together. Duh, it’s a trap and actually anemones them. The contract just handed all their powers over to Azul 💀 Bro… How dumb are you, you didn’t even SKIM to check the terms of the contact are what to claimed them to be??

Azul regroups with the others and they inform him of what’s going on. He immediately expresses concern that the Mostro Lounge hasn’t been operating + the ingredients in their fridge might spoil because of Malleus’s magic. Man has his priorities www Thankfully they’re fine since the flow of time has stopped and potential customers are all sleeping. No ingredients or business lost!! Azul still wants Malleus to pay him back for the inconveniences though.

Ortho recommends that Jade and Floyd stay behind, as they both have taken significant damage from fighting. Idia adds that they should lower the number of people dream hopping to minimize the chance of bugs showing up; Jamil volunteers. Azul says it’s a shame because he was looking forward to fighting alongside him; Jamil says that “friends” with Octavinelle’s dorm leader has its uses, so he “looks forward to it.”

… Jamil acknowledging what Azul wants and agreeing to go along with it feels… weird…

Azul joins us and we hasten to the next dream. “Time is money!!” so chop, chop!! Next update… Savanaclaw!!

Overall, I really enjoyed seeing the twins fight, as well as seeing their more animalistic aspects (ie the bioluminescence) come out. The Coral Sea locations were so fun and colorful, it makes me want a hometown event even more!! Merform Azul we kiiiind of already saw with his OB form (and I’d seen lots of edits from fans making their own prior to this) but I thought it was nice to have that confirmation nevertheless.

There were a lot of small moments that made me do a double take (derpy dream!Floyd is one, Azul’s Big Bad scenes were several others). It was cute to see their Club Wear outfits utilized in the dreams too; we saw Basketball Club and Mountain Lovers Club looks make an appearance. I felt like I was watching some kind of variety show while reading.

This update gave me many thoughts, most of them surrounding the Octatrio and their relationship with one another. I’d like to talk more at length about their dream worlds and the roles they played in one another’s headspaces. However, that will get very bulky and I don’t want to add even more to an already bully post. I’ll make that a separate post and put it up later, so please bear with me ^^

[alastors-antlers]

a brief take on the whole "Alastor's smile is permanent" discussion

hello all!

I've seen a lot of people theorizing lately that Alastor actually smiles all the time because his smile is magically, physically fixed onto his face. All of this seems to come from the fact that he's practically grimacing rather than smiling during the scene where he breaks down in ep8:

As well as this frame of his deal with Charlie: (lower res sorry)

I will say, I do like some of the implications of this theory. The sheer spite of his creditor forcing him to smile as an addition to their deal, almost like a sort of forced silence, is a neat concept. It's fun and dramatic. Plus, of all things, of course Alastor would claim the "smile at all times" policy and make it his own to pretend that it was his decision all along lol.

To be fair, though, I don't think we even need any magical compulsion to explain why he's smiling while he's having a mental breakdown. Actually, if we assume magical compulsion, I think we lose a bit of dimension from Alastor's character. (No judgement to anyone's take though, of course -- I just think this works in the direction of his established characterization, but obviously all personal takes <3)

Hear me out:

Alastor's persona is not just for others to see.

"A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends; keeps your enemies guessing; and ensures that whatever comes your way, you're the one in control."

That makes sense given what we know about him. If he's always smiling, he seems like he has it together. You can't read him very well, especially not when he's actively trying to keep up appearances.

Now consider that when you think about ep8's fight with Heaven, we see that he's already been through so much in this one day.

He fights an army of angels, presumably not even at his own whim (if we go by his blurb about freedom in the Finale song); he loses to Adam, who he considers sloppy and mediocre; his staff, which we can assume holds some part of his power, is snapped; he comes close to being Angelic-power-killed; and to top it all off, he knows that others watched him get injured and then apparently die or flee, all of which would ruin the public image that he's trying to maintain. It wouldn't even be unreasonable for us to assume that he knows Vox was watching, given that Vox kind of has eyes everywhere.

In a moment like this, in the finale, you could say that Alastor has lost (at least on some level) everything that we know matters to him. He doesn't have access to all of his magic, and it's limiting him. He's reminded that he doesn't have freedom or control over his own destiny. He certainly has taken massive hits to his powerful, composed persona. But he's desperate, and furious, and terrified, and clinging on.

That's why he's smiling.

It's not that he can't stop because he physically can't. It's that he can't stop because to him, the smile is the last thing that is still within his power. When there are so many moving parts that he can't predict what happens to him next, he can control how he responds to it. In these last fragments of autonomy, there is solace.

He needs to keep telling himself that he has it together and that he'll eventually scheme his way free, that there's a solution, that he won't be in chains forever; because letting his pretense slip would be admitting that it's all starting to actually get to him. That maybe this time, he doesn't have an escape plan.

In addition, if you read his interactions throughout the series, we also see something else: Alastor's reputation is of paramount importance to him. At multiple points throughout the series, when others disrespect him by discounting his power or presence, he gets visibly annoyed. And in the battle, we see a glimpse of the part of his personality he seems to be trying to leave behind - a normal Alastor, who's just some guy from Louisiana. No transatlantic accent; no unflappable malice; no sharp wit waiting at the ready. Maybe even unremarkable.

Dropping his smile - arguably the most prominent part of his brand - would be admitting that in reality, he's not the Radio Demon of legend that he aspires to project. And if he doesn't have that... where would he be?