#KIM ROK SOO. YOU MAKE ME SICK.

[noxiousgrace]

Hi I'm a marksman!krs believer

I've imagined him sitting in the ruins of a flattened korea, turning the safety on his gun on and off

Tw: suicide ideation

-----

Click (pull), click (don't), click (pull), click (don't)

Drowning in grief, he sits alone on cracked pavement.

He sits in the void of everyone he's ever cared about, the misery serves as a comfortable perch.

.

Click (pull), click (don't), click (pull), click (don't)

.

Plucking the sounds coming from his gun like it's a daisy.

They loved me, they loved me not

I'll end it, I'll end it not

The ringing in his ears and mind can't be silenced by white noise anymore

Click

.

Click

.

Click

.

He hears a scream off in the distance, his hand is already raised and the trigger has been pulled before his stagnant mind can catch up.

A creature takes it's final breath, it's prey running back to safety.

He looks at his gun, smoke still staining the air.

"i must be going insane" he said to the ghosts over his shoulder.

Taking one last look at the empty sky, he went back to his shell.

His responsibility.

The things that were left to him.

He paid for this with other peoples lives.

He isn't allowed a freedom such as death until he's paid off that debt.

It feels endless.

He deserves it, people don't understand that fact.

Stop offering me a vacation

I don't get to be tired

I couldn't even send them off properly

I didn't waste the energy to cry so why do i need to rest

I'm fine

My heart doesn't need rest if I don't have one in the first place

Leave me, alone, please

Let me ignore it, i hate pain.

It hurts.

Thinking hurts.

He places the finished stack of documents to the side, picking up a new pile to sort through.

He writes monster descriptions after that.

He works, the gun now forgotten in his drawer.

He will do what he must.

.

.

.

"jung soo and i are happy as well."

....

Fuck.

I'm glad.

I'm sorry for thinking of your last words as a burden.

I'm free now.

My shoulders feel light.

I never knew they were this heavy until the weight was gone

Thank you

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 25 . Rumination

a/n: Fun fact: when I drafted the storyboard for this it was suppose to have 19 chapters but when I wrote it it ended up having 26 chapters... idfk what happened...

tags: feelings in progress

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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“So you actually have the option of just giving out your vitality instead of absorbing someone else’s wound?”

Choi Han asked _____ as the healer examined the scratch on his palm.

“Yeah, that’s what the God of Death told me. But honestly, this is easier to do.”

At that moment the scratch transferred over to _____. Making Choi Han retreat his hand.

“_____-nim give that back. Give it back right now.”

“Why are you asking for it like it’s something you bought? Plus it’s just a scratch, look it’s barely visible on me.”

The healer looked at the swordmaster confusedly. They couldn’t understand why his so adamant about returning the wound.

“At least take some of my vitality.”

“What–? No way! I just healed you!”

“Then give it back _____-nim.”

“Give what back?”

Cale– no. Naru’s voice suddenly interjected in the conversation. He looked at the two, curious as to what they could have been arguing about.

“Human you’re back! _____ was practising their healing abilities on Choi Han but then got impatient and absorbed the wound instead. Now Choi Han is asking them to give his wound back!”

Raon answered Cale’s curiosity instead of the two. The now 12-year-old child could only frown and shake his head.

“_____ remember that we agreed that you’ll practice because I won’t let you absorb anyone else’s wounds.”

“I’m trying, I’m trying.”

_____ waved their hand off at Cale’s scolding.

And it's true. They have been working hard to adjust to the new change in how they use their power. It’s hard to not automatically absorb someone’s wound or sickness but the healer figured they’d master it soon enough.

It’s just that there’s a lot on their mind right now.

The blessing of the gods. White Star’s plans. Cale’s real identity. Their feelings.

It’s just a lot to take in all at once.

Others understand that the healer’s mind is complicated. That’s why they don’t put any pressure. Reassure _____ that they are mostly in the Endable Kingdom for Cale’s peace of mind. That they can relax because they’d only have to move if it’s an emergency.

“You also know about our human _____?”

Raon spoke vaguely one day. Despite that, the healer still understood what he meant and the reason for his vague words.

“I do. It’s a secret among the four of us right?”

_____ put their index finger on their face to emphasize the secrecy.

“Yes! I won't tell anyone!”

The dragon spun excitedly around the room. It makes _____smile, it had been so long since they’d talked with Raon and they were glad his as energetic as before.

However, the mention of Cale’s secret got them thinking about his real identity. _____ didn’t mind it. The current Cale is the one they knew. So they have no qualms about his identity.

But they did fear the chance of those who knew the original Cale finding out. Like his parents or Ron.

What would be the chance that they’d be sad? Upset that all this time it actually wasn’t their Cale but someone else.

_____’s heart ache at the thought of it.

Cale– no, Kim Rok Soo sounds like he already lost so much. It would be unfair if he lost his biological family here too.

Something like that happening would be cruel.

Not just to Cale, but to his family as well.

“You know… This kind of feels like I’m on babysitting duty.”

_____ suddenly said while eating dinner with Naru.

“...What the fuck?”

The disguised man almost choked on his food at the random statement.

“_____… No… Please…”

A sour look painted his face. As if the thought of _____ babysitting him was so vile.

“I understand. Stop looking at me like that, I’ll shut up about it.”

The healer laughed before continuing to eat their food. A few minutes of silence lingered as the two finished their food.

After eating, the two decided to hang out on Naru’s bed. With _____ sitting on it while Naru lay his head on the healer’s lap.

“Are you having a hard time?”

_____ stroked Naru’s white hair as they asked the question.

“Just a bit.”

He answered truthfully. The healer hummed, encouraging him to speak further.

“But it’s manageable. I’m doing it for our friends after all.”

“I’m glad. Once we solve this let’s get you that slacker life.”

Their conversation ended at that. Both decide to silently bask in each other’s presence. Lost in their train of thought.

Friends…

Cale’s response to _____’s question made the healer realise something. It made them realise just how loved they are right now.

How they have been so focused on other things that they didn’t notice it. Too busy chasing the ghost of the past. Getting validation from those who will never give it. When in fact they already have so much.

They have found their real family. They are so loved.

Just now are they realising such facts.

Regret and happiness rush through their body at the reflection.

Satisfaction comes along right behind them.

‘Yeah, things as they are right now are fine. I don’t need anything else, just my friends and their love. There’s no need to pursue romance. I’m sure it’ll go away someday.’

Was what _____ thought to themself.

However, some time later…

“Do you know just how much my heart longed for you while I was away?”

“Cale..? Excuse… me..?”

[amarylliasky]

Number 2 is a sorta not crack! Au. I’m actually really into this one:)

Au: Attendant of the Prince’s Palace

- Kim Rok Soo wakes up as the first prince’s attendant! Surprise!

- Yeah it’s basically the indignity test but longer.

- For this AU, let’s say that Alberu becomes the Crown Prince when he turns 20. KRS wakes up in the body of an attendant when Alberu is 18. For the sake of not making the attendant too young, he is only three years younger than Alberu, making the attendant 15 at the start, and 20 at the start of the Tcf plot.

- Also, for those who think krs/newbie attendant is still too young, I actually find it’s quite common in fantasy for attendants to basically grow up and become a servant for a royal at a young age. It’s actually also common for servants of royalty to be from lower noble households(I think. At least in this au).

- So let’s just say that this attendant is the son of some poor baron or something, and he needs the money for taking care of his little siblings.

- Unfortunately, shortly before the switch, he loses his little siblings due to a sickness going around the nobility at the time. Crushed at the news, he is in no state to fight back when an administrator working for the Queen, after scamming him out of information on the first prince, gets him fired. A few days pass and he’s got a week left to get his affairs in order before he has to leave the palace and go back to his family’s small, cold estate.

- So our attendant was soon to be kicked out when Kim Rok Soo wakes up in his body.

[“When I opened my eyes, I was inside a novel.

[The Birth of a Hero] was a novel focused on the adventures of the main character, Choi Han, a high school boy who was transported to a different dimension from Earth, along with the birth of the numerous heroes of the continent.

I became a part of that novel as an extra who’s not even mentioned once. An attendant of the soon-to-be Crown Prince’s palace who doesn’t even encounter the protagonist in any of the five volumes.

The problem is that the attendant I became doesn’t know anything about the state of the palace, and will apparently be kicked out in a week after getting scammed by one of the Queen’s henchmen.

"..This is going to be a problem."


I feel like something serious has happened to me.


But it was worth trying to make this my new life.]

- With a completely clean slate for appearance, I decided to go with how I imagined him.

- Appearance: He wakes up as a 15 year old newbie attendant with cherry brown hair and innocent reddish brown eyes. His hair is straight, just above shoulder length, and typically tied in a low ponytail. Why is his hair cherry brown, you might ask? Because regular brown is too boring and I liked red, but we’ve already got several redheads and he can’t be too similar to OG!Cale. Why not black? Black is very uncommon in this world and he had black hair as Kim Rok Soo. So I came across the color cherry brown on Pinterest and fell in love. It’s sooo pretty! Seriously, look it up. It doesn’t stand out too much in a world of candy-haired individuals, but it’s also just unique enough to make it pretty.

- Anyway….He is initially irritated by this situation, but finds that it is quite satisfying to use his innocent and clueless face to his advantage. While he doesn’t know much of the situation in the palace from what he read in the novel, he does know that Alberu Crossman is the only competent prince and it would be in his favor to make a good impression on him. Also, palace attendants get paid quite well; PTO and everything, which will be beneficial toward his future slacker life.

- He may not know this Alberu Crossman as he does in canon, but he still carries his skills as the number one Team Leader in the company. He didn’t earn that position by being unable to use his situation to his advantage.

- He figures that if he’s getting fired anyway, he might as well flip everything over. Obviously the whole thing with the Library doesn’t happen as he has no knowledge of it, so he just does his attendant work with while planning to smack that administrator in the back of the head. None of the other attendants know about his termination, so he’s able to move around with relative ease.

- Alberu still doesn’t have any backing and is quite paranoid, especially since he’s so close to becoming the Crown Prince. He is more mature than his 15 year old counterpart, but for the sake of enjoyment, he’s still quite similar to indignity test Alberu. He later has a lot of backing and is much more secure in his position thanks to our Slacker-wannabe by the time the plot commences.

- By the time the plaza terror incident comes around, Krs has done a complete sweep of the staff and replaced everyone who has no use(that administrator was one of the first to go), and has even been promoted to the Crown Prince’s personal secretary(much to his dismay).

- Without the aid of the 4 year old dragon, he doesn’t actually find out that Alberu is a quarter dark elf until after one of his paid vacations, where he returns to the palace with a 2 year old dragon in tow. (He’s 18 at the time. Working his way up the ranks. But only for the pay!)

- He meets On and Hong on another of his paid vacations just shortly before the start of the plot. So Raon is with him longer in this au. He figured he’d get the shield while checking in on Choi Han, who is still in Harris Village.

- He gets there a few days before the Harris Village massacre in order to warn Choi Han, as well as the Count, of a possible attack on the village. How he does that without raising suspicion or being seen as crazy? I haven’t thought of that yet.. but with the help of the Molan duo and the protagonist, he is able to save the village.

- After returning to the Henituse estate with the swordmaster in tow, he states that he has duties he must attend to and must return to the capital for the King’s birthday celebration. Of course, Choi Han wishes to go with him, but relents and agrees to accompany Young Master Cale to the Capital and meet Krs there.

- As for our trashy Young Master? He immediately became attached to the strange man with the same eyes as him. If it’ll let him go with this so-called “attendant” to the Capital, then he can tone down his trashy actions enough to represent the Henituse County at the Birthday celebration.

- Now what about the children averaging seven years old? They’re still there. With Raon being invisible for the majority of his trip to the Henituse County, and On and Hong familiarizing themselves with this strange man and dragon duo who picked them up off the street. On and Hong help out with the Secret Organization at Harris Village. Since Krs has his shield by then, it wouldn’t make sense for him not to have picked up the kittens. Unfortunately, the Arm members teleport away before they can be caught. The rest commit suicide in order to not give out any information.

- Our attendant luckily manages to keep the dragon a secret until he leaves for the Capital. Or plans to.

- Under the insistence of the young master, he is forced to accompany them to the Capital in a carriage instead of teleporting like he had planned to do. Since no one knows about the dragon, they all assumed he would be taking a carriage to Huiss, and Krs doesn’t correct them as he can’t exactly say that he planned to teleport with the aid of a four year old dragon. So, begrudgingly, he agrees to join their entourage on the journey.

- There go his plans of slacking off until the Plaza Terror incident…

Fyi, if anyone has a name for our attendant, let me know! The main reason this post was so late is because I struggled trying to think of a name for him that actually sounded nice and not too fancy..😅

[vodkassassin]

:3c Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

1.

and i’m reminded of the simple life (where I work and just be used) (SVSSS) Shang Qinghua

It’s my Shang Qinghua superwhump fic with an overlaying plot that evolved from a one shot I had written one morning over coffee before work a few years ago. I never anticipated it growing into something of this scale. Through this fic, I’ve been able to explore certain characters and their motivations and behaviors in ways I wouldn’t in other stories. It’s great fun for me <3

2.

Shakespeare in the Park (Skyrim) Dominic Moriah (OC)

My good old insert-OC Dominic and his adventures in Skyrim, transmigration gamer style. This one is a story I’ve been working off and on for YEARS and I still have so much planned for it. I’ve barely even started m. The fact i have gotten so many comments on this fic along the lines of “I don’t even go here (skyrim) but I love this story” is mind boggling. I hope my writing was able to inspire someone to play the game at least once 👀

Plus, Dominic as a character is just so much fun to write. And, gratifyingly, I have been told he’s also very fun to read.

3.

Ear to the Wall (Naruto) Hatake Kakashi

Ah, my baby. One of my most successful fics ever. Topping the charts of my statistics. Raking in the bread (I wish lmao).

The fact that this story, too, started from just a one shot of a vague idea I had one day and somehow snowballed into this absolute monstrosity that so many people love is what I live for as a writer. So many people nuts enjoy reading about sick baby Kakashi tumbling blindly through his own time travel fix-it, and it breathes life into me every day.

4.

above, and beyond, and below (MDZS) Su She (OC-Insert)

Genuinely I am so proud of the way I’ve written this story. I can reread it and come across barely any points in which I feel like rewriting, which is rare! The pacing, the emotion, the character voices, the implications of future plot points… I wanna chef kiss myself with tongue for the great job I’ve been doing with this story.

Plus, the amount of people who have raged at me for making them cry with this one specifically is how I survive in this cold and cruel world 💖

5.

bundle up tight (American Dragon Jake Long) Jake

Listen, this fandom could use some new blood. Not people, I mean, just stories — I mean, the world building potential alone! It deserves more attention. The sandbox is unlimited and there’s room for more people to build castles next to my small and humble home.

I’ll come back myself and read this one, and it always brings me joy. Nostalgia paired with my own ideas in writing it just makes me feel cozy.

Honorable mentions:

Pelsitheos (Percy Jackson) Percy [time travel, canon overhaul, character motivation focus, collecting adoptable characters] WIP

cornered animals bear their teeth (SVSSS) Shang Qinghua [throat tearing, badass SQH, infatuated MBJ, just 😏] COMPLETE

Attempt #2 (Trash of the Count’s Family) Cale Henituse|Kim Rok Soo [protective papa Eruhaben, best big brother Alberu, Cale Henituse Protection Squad] COMPLETE

[space-girlllll]

So I was originally meant to post this on on another post with a bunch of AUs and headcanons but it got a bit long so I’ll post it earlier than I was meant to @salaapaoo:

Kim rok soo had always been kind of the older brother to the kids in the orphanage: 

When krs first got to the orphanage he I'm not sure the canon age but my head always goes 8 or 13 yrs old so he wasn’t that big yet but still older than a lot of them.

I read a head-canon somewhere (I cannot for the life of me remember where, but this is where I got the idea is this technically theirs help) where he took care of the younger kids there.

Just bcs of the angst potential of this, every kid he takes care of or begins to care for leaves immediately, they get adopted quickly or they’re parents come back for them, some even ended up dead. So once the orphanage workers/helpers realized this strange system, they began to dump most of the children in his care. The workers/helpers who worked at the orphanage often stole or embezzled the funds they had. Kim rok soo had to look for food and get money by himself and taking care of the kids at the same time. There would be days in which where he would starve himself for the children, they were too young they shouldn’t have to suffer the way he did. There were even times he couldn’t find any food, he would clutch the children in a close hug as they cried from hunger and pain.

Fluff time! Maybe he would come to school for them in place of PTCs (Parent Teacher Conference) taught some of them to read and write, played games with them, help them when they get sick. When they have nightmares they often run to Kim rok soo, he was there safe place, he would maybe hug them and stroke their hair, sometimes even singing them to sleep (not me using this as an excuse for an i bet on losing dogs songfic).

After the workers left the children to him, he quickly learned how to organize food for the children, tie or even cut their hair, maybe he helps them with homework in-between his own working and they all have some set time for home work and school things, and as time flies by he soon is the oldest kid there and there is no one to help him out.

As he has to leave the orphanage eventually, he left them money, that he had worked hard for himself, that he’d spent hours tolling on work to give them, so they wouldn’t be left with nothing, so they'd remember he cared. Before he left he turned to the eldest of them, she was 15 and left in charge by Kim rok soo, the caretakers wouldn’t change even after he left and he trusted her, his little sister, after quickly going through his checklist on the things he’d left behind for them, to make sure they’d be safe and happy, even with him gone, he gives her a soft smile “Don’t forget you are still a child yourself, play around and cause trouble, children should be children.” before hugging her tightly and finishing his goodbyes not being able to hear her saying “What about you Oppa?”

Maybe he meets the girl again, during the apocalypse when she joins team 1 under Team leader Lee soo hyuk’s lead as a grade 1 ability swordsman. The two stay close, despite the time that had past Kim rok soo couldn’t help but still treat her the same way he did when she was a child he had been one too, taking care of her, making sure she was alright and not overworking, she even became close with Cjs and Lsh as Krs slowly befriended them. She teased krs often and complained along with cjs and lsh about his bad habits of sacrificing himself (like all younger siblings do such as myself).

They were all happy, they really were, till the massacre incident finally came and blew his entire world away, his brothers, his sister, his friends and family, the team that was his entire life, was gone and he was left with nothing but the broken pieces of his life, memories, and dreams of what could’ve been. Memories of playing with small giddy children, memories of older siblings being there for him and helping him, all disappearing as fast as the life was sucked out his family.

After the transmigration, there would be times when he looked at Lilly and saw her. The younger sister that he cared for and raised. He sees her in Lilly's brown hair, their shared sword style, and sometimes he would even slip up and call lily by her name. After a few times, Lilly finally asks "Oraeboni, who is (name)?" He freezes as the records of her death rewind in his mind. He can't stop it. Lilly resembles her too much, so he distances himself, hoping that it would lessen the pain. Lilly and (name) look like they could've been sisters... Almost like twins with how Lilly looks almost exactly like the little girl he raised. It hurts too much... He can't be there.

During the end of part 1 when GoD told Cale about Sui, he tells him a bit more than that. He tells him about someone else who reincarnated in the world-- in Roan. His little sister had been reincarnated as Lilly Henituse, the little sister of the original owner of this body. The God of Death then explains that he couldn't return her memories to her. Despite all of the things that Cale had changed and accomplished, GoD still couldn't return Lilly’s memories from her previous lifeto her.

 When he sees her again, he's just devastated and pulls her close, holding her tightly as he slowly rubs the back of her head like how he always had in their previous lives. Meanwhile, the others are just confused because he usually has a sad look in his eyes whenever he would look at her before quickly averting his eyes. They're happy to see the two of them getting along though. LIlly is confused at first, but the hug felt so warm and strangely familiar. She's sure that she's felt it before, but the thought is quickly replaced with feelings of content from being hugged by her oraeboni

[aurorapillar]

Title: I'm a Fox, not a Cat  

Fandom: Trash of the Count's Family

Characters:  Cale Henituse, On, Hong, Raon Miru, Alberu Crossman

Summary: Waking up in the body of a minor villian from a novel he'd read was something Kim Rok Soo could deal with, inheriting the memories of the body's original owner was fine too.

He had to admit though, finding out the original Cale had secretly been beast tribe, had come as a surprise.

For TCF Week day 6

Free choice instead of the prompt

For most people suddenly waking up in the body of another person would no doubt be quite a shock, even more so when it was the body of a minor villain from a novel they had read; they'd likely panic, causing a fuss and drawing unnecessary attention to themselves, that would end up causing trouble in the long run. Kim Rok Soo however, was not most people, life had long ago forced him to become an adaptable person. He'd had to learn to roll with whatever came his way if he wanted to survive.

And so upon waking up in the body of one Cale Henituse, the starter villain from a novel he had read the night before and finding his head filled with memories that did not belong to him, his first reaction was to simply go through the motions. There were plenty of questions turning around in his head, and what seemed to be eighteen years worth of the original Cale’s memories to go through, but he'd known that the current moment was not the time to be worrying about those things. Though he knew from the novel that Cale was by no means close to his family, let alone their employees, he was also aware that most people wouldn't take kindly to a stranger suddenly replacing someone they'd known. It was best to save worrying about what had happened until he had the chance to be alone.

And so Kim Rok Soo, who had become Cale Henituse, had headed off to have breakfast with what was now his family. It was quite frankly the best meal he'd had in a long time, perhaps even in his entire life, and he hadn't been able to keep from smiling as he ate. He’d of course noticed his new family staring at him, and with the help of the memories that slowly seem to come to the forefront as he needed them, had realized that smiling while eating wasn’t something the real Cale would have done; however he didn't particularly care. It wasn't something that would really cause suspicion, and quite frankly he wasn't planning on sticking to the way Cale had used to act. He was Cale now, and while he by no means planned to be a saint, he wasn't going to stay as the trash that ended up beaten up by the hero either.

From what he could tell there were enough similarities between his personality and that of the original Cale’s, that as long as he was careful and didn't make too many changes at once, he could easily avoid suspicion. Of course, even if someone did get suspicious of the changes he made, they certainly weren't going to jump to the conclusion that he was a transmigrator. He'd avoid getting beaten to a pulp by Choi Han, fix up his relationship with his family some, make sure his younger brother Basen was set up to be the heir, and then he could finally live the slacker lifestyle he'd used to tell his teammates he dreamed of.

Of course to be successful in that endeavor, he first needed to not only try and recall everything he could about what happened in Birth of a Hero, but also finish merging all of the original Cale’s memories with his, which was why after breakfast was finished he'd excuse himself to the study and locked the door. Even when he hadn't used his ability, his memory was very good, so it didn't take much effort for him to be called the key points of the novel and make a list of what he needed to do. After finishing that and burning the list so that no one else could find it, he'd then turned his attention going through the memories that were swirling around in his head.

Cale Henituse had only been a minor villain in Birth of a Hero, his whole purpose had been to make the main character mad and get beaten up, before never really being mentioned again. As such there naturally hadn't been much information given about him; his mother had died when he was still very young and his father had sooner remarried and had another son, followed by a daughter some years later. Cale had begun acting trashy at eight and started drinking at fifteen, soon earning a reputation for causing trouble and being spoiled. Despite that though he'd always been careful not to directly cause trouble for his family, and had never been known to attack or try to force himself on women.

That was the limit to information given about him in the novel, and there was nothing in Cale's memories that contradicted that, there was however a lot more details and the reasoning behind his actions. Cale had been purposefully trying to create a persona that would get him easily dismissed by others, he'd wanted people to think he was spoiled and bratty and just generally not worth their time; it was actually a pretty clever plan, once people had decided you were scum they usually didn't try to dig any deeper or figure you out.

Of course, the reason that the real Cale Henituse had gone to all that effort had thrown the new one off guard. It was because he was part of a beast tribe.

Cale Henituse's mother had been from the Eastern continent, as a young girl she had been the sole survivor of a massacre that wiped out all the rest of the Fox Tribe, forcing her to flee to another continent to find safety. There she'd met and fallen in love with Deruth Henituse, resulting in the birth of Cale; their happiness have been short-lived however, as she had grown sick and died while her son was still young. Before she passed on through, she had imparted all the knowledge she could have of their people and their fate to her small son, no doubt hoping to ensure that it was not forgotten and that he would know his heritage.

Cale had been a mere toddler though, too young to truly understand what he’d been told and as he'd gotten older and finally began to comprehend it, he was then too scared to appreciate it. Perhaps it was simply the instinct of a fox to run and hide, because that was exactly what Cale had done, he built a mask to disguise himself so that no one could find the real him.

Kim Rok Soo didn't know what had happened to the real Cale now that he had taken over, but he hoped that Cale had found peace at last, far away from the fear that had gripped him for so long.

As for Kim, no Cale, for he'd already accepted his new identity; he wasn't particularly worried. It had been almost 30 years since the Fox Tribe was massacred, and his mother had changed her name and identity when she'd fled, leaving little to track her with. And those who knew of her past and Cale's heritage could almost be counted on one hand, so he wasn't particularly worried about it getting out.

His plan was to lead a calm slacker life, he wouldn't be doing anything that would draw attention to himself, so there was no real need to worry about danger. He'd live a nice normal life and no one would ever be any the wiser to the fact that he wasn't human.

"You're like us!" It was an excited but innocently meant proclamation from the small red kitten, but it still managed to freeze Cale in place for a moment upon hearing it. Quickly he'd glanced at the door to his room, knowing already that it was shut and he and the kittens were the only ones there, but still feeling the need to check.

Such an action did not go unnoticed by the two children of course, who tilted their heads to the side and stared at him with undisguised curiosity.

"I'm not a cat," Cale told them, starting to regret having brought them home a little bit. They'd looked so tired and hungry that as someone who'd experienced what that was like in his previous life, Cale just hadn't been able to leave them there when he knew he was capable of helping. He really hadn't counted on them being so perceptive though.

The silver kitten’s eyes narrowed in suspicion at Cale's words, all beast tribes had sharp senses, so it was highly possible she could tell he wasn't human, just like he'd known she and her brother were Cat Tribe despite the form they'd been taking.

"I'm really not," Cale assured her. He was careful not to say he was human despite how much he wanted to claim so; if he was right about the two of them being able to smell what he was, then it would only get him caught in a lie.  

"But you are beast tribe," the kitten, who had previously claimed her name to be On, firmly stated.

Cale couldn't help but flinch at how sure sounding a pronouncement that was, the kid couldn't be more than ten but she'd already mastered the 'I know I'm right and don't you dare try and argue with me' tone. Though perhaps as an older sister that was a necessary tone to master.

"Is it a secret?" Hong, the red kitten asked, looking slightly nervous at the way Cale had flinched. It seemed like he was perhaps worried about getting in trouble for asking questions, and that was a fear which Cale remembered all too well, so he let out a soft sigh and smiled gently at the kitten.

"Kind of," he admitted. It wasn't as big a secret for him as it had been for the original Cale, but he still didn't want it being spread around. He supposed the kittens probably wouldn't want it spread around that they were Cat Tribe either though, so he could most likely trust them to keep quiet. "I'm Fox Tribe," he continued, deciding to get answering the question over with before they even ask it.

"Fox tribe?" Hong repeated, before glancing at his sister to see if she'd ever heard of them. On shook her head no however, it wasn't a tribe she was familiar with, though she'd readily admit that didn't mean much. Because of their status as mutants, she and her brother had been isolated from the rest of the tribe and missed out on the normal education most cat tribe children received.

“They don’t exist anymore.” Cale told in response to their unasked question, “As far as I know there aren’t any left besides me.”

Both On and Hong were silent after hearing that, identical looks of sadness on their faces. Neither of them were ignorant to the fact that the world wasn’t always fair or kind, but it didn’t make hearing about sad things any easier. After a moment On reached out a paw to gently pat Cale on the leg. “We’ll just make our own tribe then.”

“Hey human?” The small black dragon called out to Cale from around a mouthful of steak. Because up to that point he’d been following them invisibly, he’d never gotten the chance to try Beacrox’s cooking before, but now that they were at the manor in the capital he was going at it with a gusto that made Cale worried he would choke. Especially now that he had started talking at the same time as well.

“What is it?” Cale asked, watching Hong out of the corner of his eye as the kitten attempted to subtly push all the vegetables closer to his sister.

“Why don’t you smell like other humans?” Cale froze slightly at the question, before letting out a sigh. First it had been the kittens, and now the dragon, was it really that easy to figure out what he was? Maybe the original Cale had been right to act like trash, so that no one would want to get close to him.

"That's because he's like us!" Hong exclaimed excitedly, before being lightly smacked on the back by his sister.

"You're not supposed to tell people that," She scolded and a guilty expression appeared on Hong's face.

"....Oops. He's family now though so he would have found out anyway," he pointed out a bit defensively, and Cale found himself sighing once again.

"It's fine, just be more careful," he told the kitten. Hong did have a point after all, it was inevitable that the dragon would find out, especially after he had asked directly.

"You're a cat?" The dragon asked, feeling somewhat confused. Now that he was actively comparing them, he realized that the human (or rather not human, he supposed) did smell somewhat similar to On and Hong. There was still some difference between them though.

Cale shook his head. "Fox."

"Oh." The dragon frowned slightly, as he thought something over. " I won’t tell," he finally said.

Cale was no stranger to nightmares, he'd had them since he was a child and they'd only gotten worse after the monsters had appeared in Korea, he had it been the only one of course and thanks to that he was very good at noting the signs of them in someone else. Therefore when he was woken in the middle of the night by soft whimpering sounds coming from the black dragon, it had only taken him a second to figure out what was happening.

The two kittens had also been woken by the sounds, and were looking at Cale with concern, unsure what they should do. For a moment Cale hesitated, trying to decide what the best option would be; he could wake the dragon up but that might only offer a temporary reprieve. After debating over other choices for a few seconds, Cale made a decision and quickly changed into his fox form, before curling up around the dragon.

He wasn't really worried about anyone finding them in the morning, the only person who might be rude enough to enter without knocking who'd be Hans, and as Cale’s personal butler he already knew he was a fox. Plus Cale needed to get around to telling him about the dragon anyway.

The kittens sooner joined him, purring softly as they snuggled up against their little brother.

Surrounded by warm fur, the dragon's cries soon faded and he fell into a peaceful sleep.

Alberu stared suspiciously at the red headed man in front of him, trying to figure out just how Cale could have known about his dark elf heritage. The Crown Prince and his relatives from his mother's side had been very careful to make sure there was no evidence that would allow people to find out, and yet somehow Cale had managed to do just that.

Even if there had been evidence that had been somehow left unhidden, as a mere Court's son who'd never been to the capital even until recently, Cale Henituse shouldn't have even been in any position to find it. The most logical conclusion for it was that Cale himself was dark elf, and had been able to sense the dead mana on Alberu because of it.

Of course even if that was the most logical answer it still didn't make much sense because Alberu couldn't feel any dead mana on Cale.

"Are you really not one of us?" He finally just asked, unable to figure out any other way to get the answers he wanted.

For a moment Cale just stared at him, his head tilted to the side as he seemed to examine Alberu, though what he was trying to determine would remain a mystery to all but the redhead himself. Finally, he let out what seemed to be a very tired sigh and pointed towards the bottle of dead mana he had brought, before speaking. "Drinking that would kill someone from a beast tribe just as easily as it would a human."

To most people such a sentence would have seemed completely disconnected from the question Cale had been asked, but Alberu hadn't managed to make it to adulthood without learning to read between the lines.  

Cale was responding in the negative to Alberu's question about whether he had any dark elf heritage, by going a step further than what he'd been asked and indirectly revealing what he actually was.

A beast tribe member; that hadn't been something Alberu was expecting, and it did nothing to answer the prince's question about how Cale had known he was a dark elf, but it hadn't been meant to. It was a show of trust, a secret for a secret.

Briefly Alberu found himself mentally going over everything he knew about the Henituse family. He'd looked into them following the terrorist incident at the capitol, it was always smart to gather as much information about anyone you planned to use after all, and it seems likely to him that Cale was probably the only beast tribe member among them. If the whole Henituse family was beast tribe, then it would have been hard to completely hide, but if it was only the oldest son…

Adding to his theory was the fact that from what he recalled, Cale's mother had not been a noble, and little was known about her life prior to marrying Deruth Henituse; it was just the kind of history one would expect if a person was trying to hide what they were and where they were from. Alberu’s own mother had done the exact same thing.

What tribe was Cale from though? Alberu honestly didn’t know too much about the different beast tribes, though he certainly knew more than most people, but he could eliminate at least a few tribes from his mental list. It couldn’t be the wolf tribe, Cale would be taller and more muscular if that was the case, the same went for the Bear and Tiger tribes.

“Cat Tribe?” Alberu asked after a few more moments of thought, it seemed like the most likely choice.

Cale shook his head in response to Alberu’s guess, feeling a little annoyed; why did everyone assume he was a cat? He didn’t offer the Crown Prince the correct answer though, Cale had already given away part of his secret in a show of faith that he’d keep Alberu’s secret, if he wanted to know more details he’d have to ask directly and offer something up in exchange. Perhaps someday farther down the line when there was more trust between them, he’d be willing to tell him for free, but for now it was a business partnership and not a friendship.

Alberu seemed to understand Cale’s intent without him having to spell it out, and didn’t ask anymore questions. Instead he simply smiled, “Thank you for the present.”

[dani-the-human]

I tried to put these thoughts in tags but I couldn't, so get ready for word vomit:

Honestly, Ashes by The Longest Johns applies so well- unfairly well- to both Cale and OG!Cale, but I'll focus on Cale rn. Both lost so many people throughout their lives, had to witness their burials/funerals, or probably even set them up in Cale's case with LSH and CJS since they didn't have any family outside of him.

"I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes" is horribly accurate, especially to Cale. He doesn't let himself grieve properly, or probably not at all, considering his track record of avoiding emotional awareness like his slacker life avoids him. Cale keeps himself busy, probably a coping mechanism that was born of always having to move forward and just not having time to grieve, and works like he'll die if he stops. He has a team to lead in LSH's place and people to keep alive since all of them have families to go home to while he only has ashes and his perfect set of memories via Record. In a way, I'm also guessing working so hard is to make LSH and CJS's sacrifice worth it because besides his promise to keep on living and his dislike of pain in general, he now carries the weight of two lives on his shoulders because they saw something in him worth giving their lives for, fuck they even upended an entire CURSE AND KRS FATE because they loved KRS that much-

I also want to make a note about how the curse never got rid of LSH and CJS from KRS's life, and honestly it's been a while since I've read this bit of the webnovel so my memory's a bit fuzzy on the details, but I kind of likened it to Roksoo's parents and how only death could take away the love they had for KRS.

MOVING ON

This song also feels like a final wish from LSH and CJS to Roksoo through lines like:

"Your spirit is wild and your suffering is brief

So never you buckle and bend to the masses"

And

"Now show me a man that can meet all his needs"

In this context, I also like how every verse in this song ends with the chorus "I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes" since it can be read as KRS looking back at all these memories of LSH and CJS that tell him to keep living and pushing through life, but at the end, he's still lost them. He's moving forward, tending the flame, keeping the team together and alive, filling LSH's role as Team Leader because he HAS to. He'll move forward, someone else can grieve the loss of the only family KRS found in the apocalypse, because KRS doesn't have time to grieve and honestly I don't think he even knows how all he knows is how to keep on living.

This man has no right to make me this sad one second and laugh so hard I scare my friends the next with his dumb internal monolog and crazy schemes that take him further and further away from his damn slacker life-

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - it will come back

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - through me (the flood)

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - nobodys soldier

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - All Things End

Kim rok soo is so The longest Johns - Ashes

Kim rok soo is so Frank sinatra - My way

Kim rok soo is so Ado - readymade (english cover by trickle)

Kim rok soo is so Radiohead - just

Kim rok soo is so Depeche mode - Enjoy the silence

Guys i think about Kim rok soo often

Idk if you can tell