#KGB-Sounds

[midnight-els]

For All Mankind | 4x07 - Crossing the Line

Wrenn Schmidt as Margo Madison Ania Bukstein as Tatyana Volkova

[anauwhere]

Adults dni then there are tiktoks and YouTube videos made by alleged minors for minors(aka real literal children elementary school kids) that brainwash and eDuCaTe them on how to glow up, how to be pretty, how to be sexy at 12, how disgusting are girls with facial hair and wrinkles at 10, how a movie is satanic and problematic

[unholyhelbig]

More Wandanat pls 😊

Title: Are you Avoiding me?

Ship: Female!Reader x Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff

Word Count: 2935

Warnings: pet names, sexual situations implied, broken glass, and horrible spelling (I don't proofread).

Summary: It's becoming harder and harder for reader to avoid both Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff. Things only get worse when they're cornered in their lab.

[A/n: This is just a little drabble, that's been sitting in my drafts for months, nothing with too much sustinance! I've been distracting myself lately with Wenclair content instead of writing]

Main Masterlist | Read my stuff on AO3 | Leave Requests

There were thousands of mugs with Shield’s logo on the side that floated around the compound, changing hands between agents and the high-ranking Avengers. It’s why you felt less bad about dropping the one in your grasp to the floor. It shattered into dozens of pieces, and the rest of the pale coffee you were drinking seeped out of the wreckage.

“Ow! Why? Why?” Clint’s voice had turned to a growl by the end of his sentence. He had righted himself and gripped his own mug to his chest, leveling you with a glare that was much too vicious this early in the morning.

The words were trapped in your throat and you dropped down behind the kitchen island, pressing yourself close enough to the wood to become apart of the grain. If you could just hide long enough for them to wander away, then all would be well.

The archer glanced down at you, and then back to the hallway that passed the communal kitchen. Natasha Romanoff had her brow furrowed, lifting a sculped eyebrow at him. She had just come back from her morning run, a fine sheen of sweat coating her muscles. He gave her a shrug and that was enough encouragement to send her on her way.

You let out a long sigh at the sound of her footsteps retreating. “Don’t look at me like that, Barton.”

“I can look at you anyway I want to, you’re the one that would rather be on the ground than talk to Natasha.”

It wasn’t just talking to Natasha. It was looking at her too; breathing the same air as her, meeting her fern-colored eyes across the room and ceasing to have a tangible thought pattern. You were an Avenger, for fucks sake, an ex-KGB spy shouldn’t make you fumble the way that you did.

“It’s not that hard, y/n. She’s harmless, really.”

That was easy for him to say. You huffed quietly and picked up the broken pieces of mug before depositing them into the trashcan. Coffee would make you too jittery anyway. So, if you really thought about it, your nerves had done you a favor.

“She’s terrifying.” You said, reaching for an empty glass. You filled it up with tap water and tentatively took a sip. It went down clunky and cold. “And gorgeous.”

“A combination that renders you absolutely useless.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

Clint lifted both of his eyebrows at you, not saying a word. He didn’t have to. And you didn’t need all of this judgement from him in the first place. He had been so scared of Natasha that he couldn’t bring her in, in the first place. He would tell it differently, but you didn’t stick around to find out.

There were other things that you had to do; like a mountain of paperwork and a few modifications to the Vibranium arm that had found its way onto your desk. A cold shower wouldn’t do you any harm either. And if your fingers were to wander? No one would know.

You flashed him the middle finger, abandoning all thoughts of nourishment for the day. Tony kept his labs stocked with bottled water and granola bars after some nagging from Pepper. That would hold you over until lunch and if you started to drift, there were plenty of electrical sources that would give you a low-grade jolt.

Most of the time, you kept your head down, earbuds in even if they weren’t playing music. It was easier not to get caught up in the fanfare of the Avengers. Most of them were human, and they made human mistakes even if they weren’t.

You answered your superiors and fixed any problems that arose with tech and machinery, sometimes even costuming. Those things were simple, cut and dry. Your feelings for Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff weren’t even slightly that.

There was admiration from afar, and Clint would even say a numbness that clouded your brain completely. That celebrity that all other agents produced around any of the spandex wearing heroes often evaded you.

But each time Wanda stepped through the doors of your lab to get a personal watch fixed, or once, a VHS player that had the scent of smoke and burning plastic. She’d jutted out her lower lip when a copy of ‘I Love Lucy’ was burnt to a crisp.

Despite your meager salary, you had found one at the thrift and set it outside her door without a word. Not a romantic gesture, Clint. You should have seen her face. It was something you’d do as a friend, a co-worker.

Your shoulder collided with something strong, yet soft. There was a small grunt released from the back of your throat. You got a mouthful of the scent of rain and vanilla tobacco. But strong hands were suddenly gripping your forearms, keeping you steady.

Your eyes widened and met with curious hazel ones. You thought you gave Natasha enough time to get back to her room. But here she was, in that tight tank top, sweat drenching the collar. She looked beautiful, the lights overhead hitting her.

Agent Romanoff reached up and pulled one of your earbuds out, letting it hang loose against your chest. “Doctor y/l/n, are you avoiding me?”

“Avoiding?” You laughed with a little too much force, compensating for the lost air by snorting and instantly regretting it. A light blush fell over your cheeks. She didn’t look mad, in fact, she looked quite amused. “No, no. I’m not avoiding.”

“So, what would you call ducking down behind the counter in the kitchen?”

“How did you…”

“I’m a superspy and you’re not exactly subtle.”

Yeah. You’d forgotten about that. She didn’t’ allude to the fact, simply continuing on her way and leaving you to your horrible conversation with Clint. But then she had waited in front of your lab, her own clearance not allowing her past the sliding doors without you in it.

She lilted her head to the side “Don’t worry about it, it’s actually rather adorable.”

The heat against your cheeks started to spread down your neck and to your collarbone. If she noticed, and of course she noticed, she didn’t’ say anything. But she released her hold, and you fought back a whimper of disappointment.

“What can I do for you, Agent Romanoff?”

“Us, actually.” She responded, eyes darting towards the locked doors. “I’d rather talk somewhere a bit more private, if that’s alright.”

“Yeah, yeah, absolutely that’s alight. If this is about the Widow Bites that I redesigned then I can most definitely tweak them. We don’t want you to get a jolt every time you use them. Not that I’m saying you’re not skilled enough to avoid that,”

You kept talking as you swiped your card and it with a beep, walking into the instant familiarity of your lab. There was a coolness there for tactical purposes, but it washed over your heated skin and hopefully took some of the soft color away.

You started to flit around the lab, flicking on all the lights and the different purifiers. There was an experiment that Fitz was working on that needed a rotating heat source and that was turned on as well.

“If we remove the outer panel and with a little tweaking, we can make them non-lethal, heavy with stopping power. They can break up under the sub-cutaneous tissue-“

Again, you ran into Natasha. Her body was so warm and solid, stable compared to the way you buzzed about. The door had slid shut behind you, its frosted glass exterior shielding you from the rest of the world.

This time you didn’t’ rush to apologize, instead you pushed your glasses up to the center of your nose and stared at her in a comfortable silence. “This wasn’t about your widow bites. You said us.”

She nodded at you, suddenly seeming quite shy herself. You’d never seen her avert her gaze before and something about the reaction worried you. Your stomach was doing somersaults, flipping back and forth between pure panic and excitement. This was the longest you two had spent in one another’s space without you bolting from the room.

“For the past six months I’ve been involved in a sexual relationship with Wanda Maximoff.”

“Uh,”

It was the only word that you could muster. Thoughts that flushed your cheeks all over again ran through your mind; bare breasts pressed against each other, lips hungrily clashing, hands raking up perfectly toned muscles. Your eyes were hazy with lust, but you blinked it away just as fast as it had settled. Natasha ghosted a smirk regardless.

“It was purely sexual, we both needed to blow off some steam. I’m sure you know how that is.”

On nights when you needed to ‘blow off steam’, you went into the empty training room and ran for six miles before taking a stark cold shower to loosen your muscles. When you ran, you forgot about the dip of Natasha’s collarbone and the dexterity of Wanda’s fingers.

Now that you thought about it, there were signs that the two of them had something and why shouldn’t they? Subtle touches that led to more. The tenderness in Natasha’s eyes betrayed more. If she hadn’t noticed yet, you weren’t going to be the one to tell her.

“It was fun for a while, a supply closet here, the gym floor there. But going on month seven it’s almost losing its… spark.”

“I’m sorry?” You were cautious with your words, and she giggled, the Black Widow herself was giggling at you.

“I’m not so good at this.”

“You’re good at everything.”

She smiled “Wanda insisted that I come and talk to you first because you’re skittish. Moreso around her than me. She was upset when I told her you let me stay the afternoon in here last week, just watching you work.” 

Each move you made that day was languid. There was a nervousness to you that seemed to vanish when you could open up the back of a monitor and stare at the innerworkings. You were recruited right out of MIT, and though you had been offered more than one job, you jumped at the idea of working in the Stark tower, living here.

She worked her hand through her hair and sighed “see, not so good at this.”

“What exactly is this?”

Natasha furrowed her brow and a small crease formed between her eyebrows in response. You wanted to reach up and smooth it away with the subtle touch of your thumb. That part wasn’t complicated, not like people usually were.

So, you did just that, you touched the pad of your finger to her soft, warm skin and pressed until the tension started to leave her body. Natasha’s fingers wrapped around your wrist and moved your hand until you cupped her cheek. She sighed into the embrace; eyes closed for more than a single moment.

“I want you, y/n.” She mumbled against the palm of your hand, turning it to the side and delivering a single kiss to the pulse point on your wrist. You were sure that she could feel the quickness in which it thrummed. “So does Wanda.”

You were dizzy, suddenly glad for her hold on you. Months, close to a year, you had spent ducking behind counters and taking the long way back to your dorm. They were both stunning to an intimidating degree, to the point where it devastated you.

“Say something, please” Natasha whispered, voice breaking “I know this is a lot and you can absolutely decline. We can forget this conversation ever happened and you can go back to breaking coffee mugs.”

“No! I mean, no. I don’t want to go back to breaking coffee mugs. I think Clint is running a tab, and Mr. Stark isn’t exactly generous with our salaries.”

A grin spread across Natasha’s face. It was like being wrapped in a warm towel after a long day in the rain. You’d do anything to make her smile. You were in down bad, not that you’d admit it to Bird Boy.

She tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Can I kiss you?”

You nodded, not trusting your ability to vocalize anything right now. Her lips were on yours, soft and tender. She kissed you slowly, with purpose. The two of you savored the moment, a sigh of extasy escaping you, your arms winding around her shoulders, hers pressing against your spine.

Natasha broke the embrace, staring hazily at you. That cocky smile had turned into a wonderstruck and borderline goofy one. Have you broken the superspy? She’d certainly made you waver. You were effectively rendered silent.

“Oh, sweet girl, how easy it is to fluster you.” Natasha pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “But I fear that a certain witch is lurking just close enough for you to open the door.”

It slid open on its own with a dejected beep. You glanced down at the pocket of your lab coat, badge still attached. A small pout made its way to your lips but softened when Wanda stalked into the mostly empty lab, you felt your defenses lower.

The remnants of red twirled around her fingers- and god, you didn’t mean to stare, but they held a power to them. With Natasha slotted against your body, the primal scent of her, you couldn’t stop your mind from wandering. Oh, how good they’d feel on your tongue.

A pink blush crept up her collarbone and at the tips of her ears. Wanda raised a perfectly sculpted brow at you. There was no doubt in your mind that your thoughts were loud enough for her to hear them. And somehow, you didn’t mind one bit. You’d never imagine being this bold with either of them, but the kiss with Natasha had left you heady, greedy for more.

“Have you been able to do that the whole time?” You panted out, watching the door slide shut once more.

“Well, yes. But I respect your privacy… to an extent. You have quite the dirty mind, don’t you?”

“I… you… no!”

You pulled away from Natasha, crossing your arms over your chest. If you weren’t careful, your glasses would fog up just by being in the same vicinity as them both. Sure, there had been a few times where you’d let your mind wander; images of Wanda shoving you against the wall, pinning your arms above your head.

Natasha taking you over the lab table that you made sure was meticulous in every single way each night before you left. The thought of them taking control was alluring, tantalizing. You thought all the time, too much about every move you made. You didn’t want to admit that you’d welcome not thinking at all, even if it was only for a few moments.

“You’re a terrible liar.” Wanda soothed.

“That’s why Stark keeps me in the basement.”

She’d gotten impossibly close. You could smell the lavender shampoo that often accompanied her. They were both taller than you, though, not by much. Your breath still hitched in your throat at her proximity. Wanda tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, lilting her head to the side in a way that made your knees feel unstable.

“Is this okay?”

You nodded, and a smile moved across her lips. “You need to use your words, sweetheart.”

“Oh, don’t be mean, Wanda.” Natasha wrapped her arms around your midsection, resting her chin against your shoulder. You felt the incredible warmth she provided, nearly sighing into it. “This is a lot to take in. Baby steps.”

You couldn’t tell which of the two held more control over the situation, but didn’t much care when you felt Wanda’s breath hot against your lips. She closed the distance and you kissed until it stung, until your lungs were begging for air. A desperate noise that you had never made before escaped you when she broke the embrace.

All the while, the calloused pads of Natasha’s fingers were running softly over the expanse of skin between your waistband and shirt. Her touch was so delicate and impossibly warm compared to the coolness of the lab.

Natasha hugged you closer, and you allowed her to. Everything about both women surrounding you screamed control. The darkness that settled over Wanda’s stare made a wetness pool between your thighs. You squeezed them together in an attempt of subtly.

It was like fooling a seer. They could read your body like an open book and you clenched your eyes shut but could still feel the grin that stretched across Natasha’s face in the crook of your neck. It would be so easy to give up control to them.

“Does anyone else have the key to your lab?” Wanda purred, her hand splayed on your chest in a startling grounding motion. Your eyes snapped open, hazy with lust.

You were breathless, stunned. “Just you.”

Wanda’s head tilted, her tongue darting out against her bottom lip. Chills pushed down your spine, Natasha’s hold tightening around your center. You were sure that you’d catch flame right there and wake up from this dream. But neither of them vanished when you blinked.

“Good. What’s your safe word, darling?”

Natasha’s grin was nothing short of wolfish. She squeezed both of your hips possessively, hauling you with a spy’s quickness onto the nearest counter. You nudged a white mug with a SHIELD logo on the front. It fell to the floor, shattered into a million different pieces.

 None of that seemed to matter.

[sgiandubh]

Chain of fools

Promo season seems to always reactivate #BestOfFans' predatory instincts. Today, one of the people I was mildly 'following' on X, knowing she was a very decent, half-clandestine shipper had the naivete to share a pic taken today with C. Lo and behold, the KGB across the street immediately started the screeching. I would have granted them a pass, were it not for the very curious angle they chose to present things, this time:

Most, if not ALL of the women involved in that conversation were born and lived their entire lives in a country where democracy was never completely obliterated. They have no idea, nor direct experience of what a dictatorship looks and sounds and feels like and yet they look and sound and feel exactly like The Pravda, circa 1951, where enemies of the people (including Americans, so basically... themselves?!) were currently called 'reactionary/ imperialist vipers'. Replace shipper by 'enemy of the people' and voilà:

'Because she's a known shipper enemy of the people and has been one for a long time. All smiles around Cait and on SM and her tumblr page she's a snake like the rest of her ilk.'

Most, if not ALL of the women involved in that revolting conversation can recite by heart The Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag:

[Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pledge_of_Allegiance]

'With liberty and justice for all'. This includes the freedom of speech, set into stone by the First Amendment to the US Constitution, which reads:

[Source: https://constitution.congress.gov/browse/amendment-1/]

You think I am overreacting? In that case, I wouldn't be the only one. It took me exactly three minutes to find on Google a short, but very interesting blog post about the metaphor of the snake being used as a dehumanizing tool in many totalitarian regimes' official rhetoric and media. I will quote it briefly, leaving the rather ironic references to current US politics aside. I find it very interesting and enlightening, for a certain pervasive mentality, in some regions of this fandom:

[Source: https://www.dangerousspeech.org/libraries/beware-of-snakes-a-common-dehumanization-trope]

I have written it before and I probably will write it again, but the Eastern European I am feels unsettled and worried about this. It is not only unsavory, it is violent and denotes a totalitarian way of thinking I am very surprised to find in the minds of these mature women, who lived in complete freedom for all of their lives.

Oh, and by the way. Given that particular 'enemy of the people''s active and very public commitment to charities supported by C (you know, as in raising money for WCC and so on...), I am absolutely sure C knows very well who she is. And I wonder what were they expecting from her, in a work-related context nonetheless, even if (the premise is perfectly absurd, as C does not give a fuck about fandom wars) C would not stand shippers.

By the same token, why would C offer anything more than a vague, borderline formulaic birthday reference while talking to the press, knowing fully well each and every word she utters would be immediately dissected to death and weaponized by the factions of this fandom?

Ironically, their knowledge about Eastern Europe is about zero. I just had to LOL (not really), reading this very serious and concerned dialogue between Marple and The Vulgar Canadian Journo. The Canadian was pissed off about Maril showing up, as she is supposed to, for promo, in NYC:

It's not STAZI, madams, but STASI - short for Ministerium für Staatssicherheit, or Ministry for the State Security. Each and every USSR satellite state had one, but both of these arrogant and superficial Westerners make it sound like a harmless gossip and propaganda machine. In reality, the STASI, along with its sister institutions, was a supremely powerful, merciless apparatus that crushed tens and tens of thousands of lives, encouraged hatred and denouncement (for money, political protection and social climbing) even within the same family. And I personally remember the day where an agent of the local STASI, the Securitate, picked me up from school, walked with me for almost one hour until he left me on my doorstep, in a cruel attempt to make me denounce Shipper Mom. I was nine years old. I will never forget, nor forgive. I felt raped. You don't care and you could never understand, of course, but for the love of God, keep off such complicated tropes you have no idea about.

[writerslittlelibrary]

I'll follow you anywhere

masterlist

summary: after the Sokovia accords, Natasha had to go on the run. what do you do when your mother figure goes on the run? follow her of course…

pairing: Natasha x teen reader

warnings: mention of a gun?

genre: fluff

words: 1540

a/n: I wrote this and I have no idea what it's about 😭 I figured I'd write something fun about the trailer in Black Widow but I had no plot and no idea where I was going with this so its super messy.... anyway, so sorry this is so terrible, enjoy😅

(the cinnamon buns from Scandinavia are out of this world though. I lived on those when I went on a vacation through Sweden-Norway-Denmark 🫣)

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

It was late. Rain was falling, making a soft sound again the windows glass. You and Natasha were driving though Norway. According to her, it was the best place to hide out. Ross had no jurisdiction there, making it safer for you, she claimed. 

When Ross introduced the idea of the Sokovia accords, you were immediately against them. You refused to sign away your freedom, and so, even after the discussion you all had about it, you had made it clear you would not be signing it. Natasha had, and she begged you to sign it so you would be safe. 

She had always cared about you. Of course, the other Avengers were your family, but ever since escaping the Red Room, it was Natasha who cared about you most. 

She wanted to protect you, and if that meant signing the accords, she’d happily do so. You, however, stood your ground, telling her you didn’t want, and wouldn’t ever, be singing it. She told you she understood your decision, but she had made you promise to stay in your room.

You agreed, for a little while. You understood the world would become a little more dangerous for you in this situation. 

After all, you were a recently turned assassin. 

A big reason why you wouldn’t sign. You refused to let you newly given freedom be taken away. You refused to willingly sign you freedom away, basically just swapping the KGB with the American government. You weren’t doing that, and Natasha understood. 

When Clint came for you, you refused to go with him.

He didn’t give up very easily, but when Vision and Wanda came into the conversation, he took Wanda a left you behind. You didn’t want to have to fight your family, and you thought Clint would understand that, yet he seemed to have a hard time doing so. 

The Avengers had become your family after they saved you from the Red Room, and now they were going to be fighting each other? Over some stupid disagreement? 

You simply refused to take part in it. 

After the fight happened, you heard ‘team Cap’ was locked away in the Raft. You figured that meant Natasha was safe, yet you thought wrong. 

When the door of your room opened and Natasha came inside, she didn’t bother giving you a hug. Instead, she barely greeted you as she moved to your closet, grabbing your emergency bag.

Natasha made you pack one when you were settled with the Avengers, just in case, and as it turns out, it appeared to be very handy. 

You grabbed your backpack too, stuffing some of your important stuff in. It only consisted out of some notebooks and colour supplies, and a book you were reading. As the last item, you quickly stuffed in your stuffed animal before following Natasha, who led you out of the building safely. 

After travelling for a while, and staying in some sketchy places, you and Natasha finally arrived at you destination. 

You looked out the car window. You couldn’t see much, except for the insane amount of nature that grew around you. You saw the small trailer, and you had to admit, that even for a trailer, it didn’t look very fancy. 

Natasha ordered you to stay in the car while she went to check it out, and you agreed as you waited patiently, your own gun in your hands, just in case.

After Natasha came out, you opened your car door, grabbing your bags and waiting for Natasha to do the same. 

“It’s… cosy…” you spoke as you set you bags on the small couch, looking around the trailer. 

You heard Natasha let out a small huff of amusement, walking past you and setting her own stuff in the bedroom. 

“You should put your big bag here. There’s even a small closet,” Natasha said. You followed her, walking into the bedroom and putting your stuff on the other side. 

“What are those bedsheets…?” you asked in slight disgust, hating the typical trailer pattern. Natasha let out a small laugh, running her hand across them. “They’re bedsheets, and they’re soft,” she stated as she sat down, watching your facial expression with amusement. 

“You hilarious,” you deadpanned, putting some stuff in the small closet. 

Natasha laughed again, grabbing your waist when you where turned around, dragging you onto the bed. You let out a small squeal as you fought against her grasp, yet Natasha just laughed and pulled you close, trying to hug you. 

“The trailer is great,” she said as she settled on the bed, having you laying against her. 

You turned around in her grasp, facing her. “It’s safe,” you replied, and Natasha looked at you and nodded. 

You smiled when she leant down to give you a kiss on your forehead, laying your head on her chest. “I’m sorry you’re unsafe because of me,” Natasha suddenly spoke, resting her own head on top of yours. 

“I’m rather unsafe with you, than safe on my own,” you responded, saying it without a thought. 

Natasha smiled again, closing her eyes and letting herself fall asleep, you in her arms.

-------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Natasha was awake bright and early, tying up her sneakers for a run. You were still softly snoring in the bedroom. You had always hated getting up early, especially when it was for training. 

Natasha went back into the room, giving you a soft kiss on your forehead and wiping some hair from your face, admiring your sleeping form. 

She smiled softly before leaning away, leaving a note on the nightstand and getting outside, ready to run. 

You woke up a while later, finding the note and settling on taking a shower instead, wanting to wait on Natasha for breakfast, not that there was any food in the trailer. 

After the shower, which took you an embarrassingly long while to figure out the controls to heat it up, you sat on the small couch, grabbing the backpack you left there the previous night. You settled on doing some colouring, doodling in some sketchbook while you waited for Natasha to return.  

After Natasha returned, she quickly had a shower, laughing when you came to explain her the controls and failing to realise Natasha had already figured it out. 

When Natasha came out of the small bathroom, you had gone back to colouring, sitting criss-cross on the small couch. 

“I was thinking of driving into town for breakfast. Do you want to go with me?” Natasha asked as she got a fake drivers licence from the cupboard, and then a fake id for you. 

You nodded your head, closing your sketchbook and rushing to put on your shoes. Natasha chuckled at your excitement, grabbing her car keys and waiting by the door. After you had your shoes on you and Natasha walked to the car. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

You arrived into town after about an hours drive. Natasha put some gas in the car while you went inside the gas station, seeing if they had any good foods. 

You were outside pretty quickly, telling Natasha the gas station had ran out of buns. 

Natasha drove you two to a supermarket, in which you quickly found the aisle with nice buns. You picked out a cinnamon bun and another sweet treat, while Natasha picked out ‘very boring bread’, in your words.

After getting back in the car, you and Natasha had a little car picnic, in which you happily ate your sweet and sticky treats. 

It was truly a perfect breakfast, according to you.

After Natasha drove both of your back to the trailer. You two had gotten more in the grocery store then just the buns, and you were probably set for at least a few days. 

After parking the car, you helped Natasha with the groceries, being the one to close the fridge as fast as possible after Natasha carefully put the last item in there. It was pretty full to say the least, and you definitely weren’t going to be the one to open it, as everything would surely fall out. 

After spending a cosy day inside, Natasha made dinner, and now you were both settled on the small couch, a movie playing on Natasha’s computer. 

“How old is this movie?” you exclaimed after seeing only 10 minutes, claiming the movie was incredibly slow.

Natasha smiled. “It’s a good movie, give it a chance,” she told you, and you sighed and sat back against her, eating your dinner as you two watched the movie. After you finished your dinner, it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep, leaning against Natasha in a uncomfortable way, your body bending in uncomfortable places, surely giving your muscles some pain. 

Natasha paused the movie, closing her laptop and carrying you to the bedroom. She put you down on the bed, grabbing your stuffed animal and placing it in your grasp, before turning off the lights and crawling into the bed herself.

It may not have been the Avengers tower, and all the luxuries she had gotten used to over the years, yet she had the biggest luxury of all. 

She had you, her unofficial child, safe, in her arms, and there was nothing else she needed. 

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @slut4johansson @simp-erformarvelwomen @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

A Hero's Welcome

I am super duper unhappy with this. I just can't get it right, but if I don't post it, I'll get stuck in a rut. As always, please drop a comment below, they are loved and cherished.

This can be read as a The Way the Stars Love the Heavens one-shot or as a standalone, so you don't need to read my series to read this!!

Contains: Fluff, smut (oral sex M and F receiving, fingering, p in v).

2.2K words of pure smut.

Simon comes back after an op and you're happy to welcome him back to base.

It was the soft sound of his tac boots on the hard floors that gave Simon away. Despite how quietly he would always move, the long days of waiting for him to return to base had left you on edge and listening out for every sound that came by your door.

You didn't want to wait any longer, ladylike behaviour be damned, so when the footsteps got close enough to let you know he was right by your dorm, you yanked him into the room. He was still wearing all his tac gear, and he was already grinning when he laid eyes on you, ever the observant soldier, he must have been ready for your reaching arms the second he heard the creaking of your door. "Well hello lovely, did you miss me?"

You all but ripped his mask off his face and pressed your lips to his as your reply, and Simon smiled against your lips as you started to pull his vest off. Your fingers moved haphazardly, and he grabbed one shoulder strap as it fell from his chest. With the vest discarded, you started on the various weapons strapped to his body, finally needing to break away from his lips and look as the task grew.

"You need a hand?" He watched you remove the knife from his hip, your fingers unfocused and rushed, and you nodded as he unbuckled the holster from his other hip and placed it and the gun it held on the ever-growing pile. You reached towards the small of his back, gripping the wad of metal pressed against his skin and pulled it free from the tiny pouch protecting his body.

You laughed when it came into view, and Simon's easy grin had your heart fluttering. "What the hell do you need a trench knife for? The world wars ended a long time ago, dearest."

"The knuckles detach, you know, in case the knife gets stuck." He took it from you and separated the pieces. "See?"

You shook your head and sighed. "Alright then."

You dropped down to your knees to remove his shoes, and he smiled down at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I'm really getting to gold star treatment, aren't I love?"

"Of course." The knife on his left ankle went first, then the gun on his right and you made your way back up his body to take off his belt. He stopped you, wrapping his hand gently around your wrists before placing your hand on his shoulders and leaning down to kiss you. You felt him grip the edge of your shirt and you lifted your arms as he pulled it over your head.

"Fuck you're so fucking beautiful. I'm the luckiest man on Earth." His lips found your neck, and the added roughness of his beard from being in the field for a week without shaving had you taking in a sharp breath as the texture sent shivers down your spine.

His shirt went next, and he took two steps back to accommodate the height you didn't have so you could pull it off his body. You fought back a giggle, and he brushed his fingers over the apple of your cheek as he looked at you fondly. "What it is love."

"I was hoping I'd find a razor blade taped somewhere." The look on his face told you all you needed to know, and your suspicions were confirmed when he started to undo his belt with a smile. You helped him, pushing his camo pants off his hips and down to a pile on the floor. He had something long and impossibly thing strapped to his thigh, and your eyebrows wrinkled in confusion as you went to undo the strap.

"It's a KGB concealed blade, you know, in case of a pat down." Nevertheless, it joined its brothers and sisters on the pile on your table, and Simon thanked you for all your hard work with another kiss as he removed your bra.

You nipped his lower lip, and one hand went from your hip to your breast so he could play with your nipple. He wasn't as gentle as he usually was, and it had you gasping through the kiss as the roughness of his battle-hardened fingers danced across your sensitive skin. You slid your hand down his body and palmed his cock, and he grunted when you rubbed him through the fabric.

You pulled away from his lips and pressed yours to his cheek, then his chin, then you dipped your head to kiss his neck, stopping briefly from sucking a mark on his throat. "I think I should show you how much I missed you."

His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he used his fingertips to draw circles on your breast. "And how are you going to do that, lovely?"

You smiled and slowly dropped to your knees, pressing kisses to his chest and abs as you went. "I have some ideas."

One of his massive hands found the back of your head as you pulled his boxers down. You used the precum beading at the head to slick your way down as you stroked him, and he groaned when you tightened your hand on the upstroke. You smiled up at him before leaning in and licking him from base to tip like an ice cream, and you felt his fingers tense as he stopped himself from digging them into your hair.

You sucked the tip into your mouth, and he took in a breath as the heat of your mouth made his toes tingle. His head fell back, and his breath quickened as you took him further in, one of your hands moving from his hip to play with his balls. He moaned, his chest rumbling as his hand squeezed your shoulder rhythmically.

He started to rock his hips, a slow and steady back and forth that still let you set the pace, and you could tell by the force of the hand on your shoulder that he was holding back. You took your hand off his balls and moved it to the part of his cock that your mouth couldn't reach, and Simon grunted and a breath left his chest. "Fuckin' ell love, you're gonna kill me."

You hummed an affirmative and pulled back, using both your hands to take the place of your mouth. "Death by blow job, what a way to go."

He shook his head and huffed. "You're asking for it now." He pulled your hands off of him and lifted you up by your upper arms, manhandling you to the bed. "What makes you think it's ok to give me so much lip."

You pressed your lips together to stop yourself from laughing, and he took in your expression before ripping your trousers off, the buttons flying everywhere as you protested. "Hey, those were my favourite."

"I'll repair them for you, don't worry love." He knew he would and the vision of him sitting on the bed with a tiny sewing needle in his hand made you giggle. The sound of ripping pulled you away from your thoughts, and you looked towards his hands, there was no way he could fix your panties, he had torn them in two.

He dropped down and knelt on the floor before manhandling you again, throwing your legs over his shoulders and diving in, licking you from entrance to clit as he moaned. He went in like a man eating his last meal, and you knew you would have bruises in the morning with how hard his hand were squeezing your thighs.

With your ass off the edge, Simon had to support the weight of your legs and he took full advantage, using his massive arms to maneuver you so you couldn't move away from growing pleasure as he increased his efforts with his mouth. He dropped one of your legs but shifted to maintain control as his hand slid up your inner thigh and to your core and moved his mouth to focus solely on your clit.

"Fuck, oh fuck." The feeling of his fingers sliding inside you was wonderful, and the slow pace juxtaposed to the enthusiastic one he had taken with his mouth meant that you felt every ridge of his digits. He crooked his fingers to rub your G-spot and you arched toward his mouth as you grew closer to the edge.

You pressed a hand to your mouth to muffle your growing moans, aware that the walls could only keep so much away, and you didn't want your friends to hear how desperate you must have sounded as Simon touched you. Suddenly, everything stopped and the hand he was using to pleasure you was wrapping around your wrist to pull your hand away from your mouth. "None of that Love, I want to hear you."

"But…" You couldn't really think of a response, not when he was looking at you like he wanted to swallow you whole.

"No buts, be good for me Love and let me hear how good I make you feel." He dove right back in, and your fingers gripped the sheets as the sensations picked up exactly where they left off. You tried to muffle the whimpers, but you were rushing towards the peak like a runaway train.

Your hands found his head, and you scratched his scalp and pushed his head into you, and with one more stroke to your G-spot, your vision went white as the pleasure overtook you. The vibrations of his moans only made the feeling stronger, and he didn't seem to mind the way you were yanking his hair as the orgasm slowly faded.

He didn't stop, and you pushed his head away softly as he chuckled. "Simon, enough."

He pulled away and wiped his face with his hand before standing up with a grin. "You right there love?"

You blinked in indignation. "Am I right? What kind of question is that?"

He was smug, his handsome face twinkling with ego. "I'm just making sure."

You yanked him downwards and used the momentum to flip yourself on top of him, his hands moving to your hips as you settled on top of him. "The bed's too small to flip again, so what are you going to do now?"

He ran one hand up and down your leg while the other moved to your cheek to pull you down for a kiss, and he nipped your lower lip as the kiss deepened. He pulled back, only far enough to speak through his smirk. "Absolutely nothing."

You nodded and brought your hand from where it was resting on his chest to wrap around his cock, jacking it a few times before holding it still so you could slide down slowly. He was always just a little too much, but like this, he was overwhelming, hitting every single space you had until it felt like you were going to burst.

You took in a breath and started to rock slowly, moving your hips back and forth while Simon rubbed gentle circles on your thighs with his thumbs. "You're doing so good for me, Love." You bent at the waist and kissed him, and he ran his hands up and down your back as he started to match your pace.

The kiss turned rough, and he bent one knee to gain more leverage as he overtook the pace. You found yourself unable to straighten back up as he angled his hips to hit your G-spot, and then he was taking your hand off his heaving chest and placing it between your legs. "Touch yourself for me, Love."

You did as he asked, rubbing small circles on your clit as he gripped your hips so tight you knew you'd have bruises by the time the night was up. Simon was grunting like an animal as thrusts increased in force, and your body rocked with each one as your skin started to tingle with release once again. Your head fell into the crook of his neck, and his hands moved to the backs of your thighs for more leverage as you started to clench around him.

"Come on Love, I know you're close, I can feel it, just let go for me." You could tell by the glint in his voice that he was close behind you, and your fingers sped up on your clit as he pressed his lips to yours, swallowing your moans like a man starved as you fell over the edge. His hips stuttered and he held you to him as he pulsed inside you.

With his hips still, you rested on top of his chest to catch your breath while he ran his hands over any skin he could reach. "You need anything from me Love?"

You sighed and turned your head so you could rest your ear against his chest as a steady thumb filled your ear. "No dearest." You smiled softly and rubbed his nose with yours. "Welcome back."

He grinned and kissed you, it was full of love and affection, and your heart swelled as he held your face while his lips moved against yours. He pulled back with one last peck and put his forehead on yours with a sigh. "It's good to be back. I love you y/n."

You mirrored his sigh, enjoying the intimate contact as you grew sleepy. "I love you too Simon."

Fin

@chaos-4baby @shuttlelauncher81 @carma-fanficaddict

[drmaddict]

Better Half

Summary: Napoleon's better half is not what anyone would have expected and yet it is exactly what one should expect.

Warnings: none

Word count: 448

"I know someone," Napoleon said, taking a sip of his drink.

Illya looked at him emotionlessly. "Those are top-secret KGB files. Not even I had access to them."

"Jealous that I might know more?" he grinned at him and winked teasingly.

"It's impossible."

"That word doesn't exist in their vocabulary."

"And who is this mysterious gentleman supposed to be?" asked Waverly. "A friend from...the art trade?"

Napoleon shook his head. "SHE deals in other merchandise...information. There's nothing she can't get her hands on." He smiled into his glass. "If there's one thing I've learned from her, it's that a room is never truly empty."

Illya rolled his eyes. "We don't have time to waste on an untrustworthy affair."

Napoleon looked at him piercingly. "I wouldn't suggest her if I didn't trust her."

Waverly tapped a pencil thoughtfully on the tabletop in front of him. "And what makes you so sure?"

"If she wasn't trustworthy, I wouldn't have married her.", he replied simply. "Albeit under a different name." he shrugged and downed the rest of his drink as the rest of the gathering stared at him in bewilderment.

________________________________________________________________

They were sitting in a ramshackle motel. Only Napoleon remained standing, meticulously keeping away from all the furniture. Dust layed thick on the small dresser next to the bed, whose springs had also seen better days and squeaked happily when Gabby changed her position.

The door opened silently, although that shouldn't be possible with the rusted hinges. A small figure entered the room. She wore a worn flat cap, a too-long brown coat, and baggy pants topped off with a pair of scuffed brown leather shoes.

At first glance, anyone would have seen a fourteen-year-old paperboy. It was only when the figure removed their cap that the too-long hair became apparent. Napoleon moved toward her with elegant steps and took off her coat.

"Still quite the gentleman." she grinned at him.

"When am I not?" he asked teasingly.

"Oh I can think of a few situations.", she returned just as teasingly before reaching into her waistband and pulling out a piece of paper. "You know the drill. I was never here and this piece of paper never existed." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "I'll see you where there are no stars."

"On the fifth of May?" he asked.

"Sounds good." She tugged playfully at his tie, destroying the symmetry of the elaborate knot, before disappearing from the small room as quickly as she had come.

"Cute." said Gabby as Napoleon held out the small note to her.

"What's her name?" asked Illya.

Napoleon grinned with a soft expression around his eyes. "That ist something noone really knows.“

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 27, Unhinged - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, gratuitous Hamlet 2 reference, mention of masturbation, descriptions of violence, death, full on crazy.

Word Count: 1.4k

Previously On...: Nat sent you and Bucky some Hydra security footage she was able to get from her old KGB contacts. You're in for a wild ride.

A/N: THE MADNESS!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

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There was no real rhyme or reason to the footage, no overarching narrative that tied the clips together. They were just short, interspersed segments, with no sound, from different camera angles within the Hydra base. The base was probably operating underground; the harsh fluorescent lights acting as the only source of illumination, which made it impossible to determine time of day. 

Most of the clips were mundane– shots of a younger version of Jade Carthage training in weapons and combat, eating with the base’s other operatives, sitting in some sort of school room and seemingly being made to recite information. One thing was clear– the girl was not the tortured prisoner she’d led Nick Fury to believe. 

You and Bucky watched clips as Jade got older, her training more intense. The scientists at the base put her through extensive endurance testing but, upon completing them, she always looked happy, as though glad to have pleased her keepers with her results. Periodically, an older man in a suit would be seen in the footage. He appeared to be a higher up in Hydra’s hierarchy– the other occupants of the base deferred to him as though he was someone of importance.

“I know that guy,” Bucky said the first time the footage showed a clear image of the man’s face. “Not his name or anything like that, but I remember seeing him with Alexander Pierce.”

You reached up to hold the hand that Bucky still kept on your shoulder, squeezing it in support. “You okay to go on with this?” you asked, knowing that Pierce, as the man who had commanded him to kill Tony’s parents, among others, was a shadow that still loomed large over Bucky’s psyche.

He swallowed. “Yeah. I’m good.” 

The two of you kept watching as Suit Man came to observe Carthage, bringing her gifts and acting almost… parental toward the girl. It was disconcerting to watch him gently stroke her hair or offer her a hug, knowing the kind of man he must be, if he was working so high up within Hydra.

“What’s that?” you asked, rewinding the clip and enlarging it over a folder that Suit Man had handed to Carthage. “Holy shit,” you said, once you’d made out the face on the photo attached to the front of the file. “Buck, that’s you.”

Bucky leaned forward, squinting at your screen. “How can you tell, doll?” he asked. “It just looks like a bunch of pixels.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “I’ve stared at your face long and hard enough to recognize it anywhere, Barnes,” you told him. “Whatever’s in that file, it’s about you.” 

Bucky gave you a look you couldn’t quite unpack. “Keep playing it,” he said after a moment. 

You zoomed out and resumed the footage. Over time, Suit Man would bring Carthage more files. She would continue her training, follow her same routine. You were nearly nodding off with the monotony of it when something changed. A new camera angle appeared in the footage, this one seeming to be of Carthage’s quarters within the base, and you were surprised by just how… normal they were. She had a four poster bed, a vanity, bookshelves– it was a typical room for a young woman. The only thing that looked remotely out of place were the photos on the walls. Once again, you paused the video so you could enlarge the image.

The walls were covered in seemingly hundreds of photos of Bucky.

“Holy shit,” you whispered.

“Are those… are those all me?” Bucky asked as you dragged the image around your screen, wanting to see every available corner of her space.

“Yes,” you said. “They… these all look like surveillance shots. Why do you look like Jesus in this picture?” you asked him, squinting as you pointed to one where he was wearing robes and standing by a river, his long hair tied half-up in the back of his head.

“Shit, that’s from when I was in Wakanda,” Bucky exhaled. “How the fuck would Hydra get shots of me there?”

You leaned back. “Well. Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus,” you said under your breath. 

“We just discovered that Hydra somehow found a way to spy on me in the most technologically secretive nation on the planet, and that’s your takeaway?” Bucky asked.

“I’m neither blind, nor a nun, Barnes,” you replied before zooming out and starting the footage once again. “Though, with a Savior that looked like that, I’d gladly devote the rest of my life to serving the Faith.”

“Pretty sure that’s blasphemy,” he said, though you could hear the shy smile in his voice, and you just knew he was blushing at the compliment. “I don’t understand, though. If I’m her target, why’s she hanging my pictures on her wall?”

You squinted your eyes as the Carthage in the footage drew a heart around one of Bucky’s headshots with what appeared to be lipstick. “I think…” you began, an idea coming to you, “I think they’re manufacturing infatuation.” You bit your lip in consideration. “If there’s one thing on this planet with more obsessive, singular focus on a target than a Hydra-trained assassin, it’s a teenage girl with a crush. They’re making sure she’s got the concentration of both.” You watched with sick fascination as Carthage took the photo she’d drawn the heart on, and bringing it over to her bed, appeared to be talking to it as she crawled under the covers.

“Oh, shit,” you said with realization. “We should skip over this part.”

“Why?” Bucky asked, clueless to what you knew was coming. “What’s going on?”

“If I am not mistaken,” you said, as Carthage held the photo to her chest before slipping a hand under her blanket, “she’s about to start masturbating to that photo of you.”

“Jesus fuck!” Bucky exclaimed. “Fast forward, Pocket! Fast forward!”

You skipped the video to the next time stamp, trying and failing to control your laughter. It wasn’t that you were laughing at Carthage– this was a gross violation of a private moment, and no one, not even her, deserved that; no, you were laughing at how horrifically uncomfortable it seemed to make Bucky.

“Come on, Barnes,” you said, getting yourself together, “you’ve already fucked the girl twice. Now you’re suddenly shy about watching her cum?”

You felt Bucky stiffen behind you, and you felt bad… momentarily, but he didn’t acknowledge your comment, so you kept watching the footage, until there were only a few minutes left. Suit Man returned and after a few moments, said something to Carthage that had her jumping for what appeared to be joy and throwing her arms around the man. 

“Something’s about to happen,” you muttered, eyes glued to the screen. And then… shit hit the fan.

You and Bucky watched in horror as Suit Man handed Carthage a pair of guns, and the two moved systematically through the base, with Carthage slaughtering every operative in their path. 

“What the hell?” Bucky whispered. 

“No other survivors,” you said, recalling the words from her bio sheet all those months ago. “They’re selling her story. Making it look like she escaped. Jesus Christ. She lived with these people for years. She’s fucking insane.” 

Carthage was pumping so many bullets into the agents at the base that she quickly ran out. From there, it was like she just snapped– beating the others to death with anything she could get her hands on. And if there was nothing readily available, she used her bare hands. “Fuck,” you muttered, feeling the urge to vomit. You turned your head, burying it into Bucky’s stomach as he stood behind you. “I can’t watch anymore. Tell me when it’s done,” you begged.

Bucky’s hand came up and rubbed comforting circles on your back. “Yeah, sweets,” he said, voice hollow, “I’ll let you know.”

After what seemed like absolutely far too long, you heard Bucky swallow, and he tapped you on your shoulder, indicating it was safe for you to look again. Turning back to the screen, you were disgusted to see Carthage absolutely covered in blood. The only thing you could think of was Carrie at the prom, but Carthage looked delighted with herself, the whites of her eyes and her blazing smile sitting in stark contrast to the dark lifeblood that coated her face. Together, she and Suit Man walked casually out of the last camera frame, as though she hadn’t just committed mass murder.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[ladyofmelk]

Master and Margarita dashboard simulator

👤 deactivated-302bis

censor this dick

🎈bezdomnyyyy Follow

op why did you deactivate

🎈bezdomnyyyy Follow

nvm i figured it out

🎈bezdomnyyyy Follow

be honest guys if im good enough for wattpad can i make it to ao3 🥹

🎭 messire Follow

you will not survive the winter

🎈bezdomnyyyy Follow

a no would've been enough

🐀 marcus-muribellum Follow

yeshua ha-nozri kinda mid

📜 matthewlevi-n1christian Follow

jerusalem, palestine, 31.779400, 35.232071

💬 anonymous:

i must say im so disappointed in you. i heard you tried to get acquainted with the procurator during your trial and even offered your miracles to him. you promised to sacrifice yourself and wash our sins away!

🌾 yeshuafromtheblock Follow

doesn't sound like me

🌾 yeshuafromtheblock Follow

@matthewlevi-n1christian WHEN I CATCH YOU

���� misha-bulgakov Follow

God at the pearly gates: look its really simple the only rule for getting in is you dont have to have written faust self insert fanfiction where your wife befriends magic stalin and beats the shit out of people you dont like

Me: ok hear me out

👤 not-the-kgb Follow

hey man what the fuck

🌻 miss-margo Follow

god please bring back my husband

🌻 miss-margo Follow

not my actual husband ew

🌻 miss-margo Follow

its been six months and nothing happened. time to switch teams

#hot witch easter

🐈‍⬛️ hippocat Follow

i miss when gingers got hunted down for fun

👩‍🦰 vampwitch Follow

no borsch for you

🐈‍⬛️ hippocat Follow

just the men though

🎈bezdomnyyyy Follow

who even uses ъ anymore

🎭 messire Follow

have you thought that maybe people who were there when the glagolitic script was created still need it...

👩‍🦰 vampwitch Follow

so insensitive of you op

🔫 azazello-with-an-o Follow

literally why dont they kick you out of the party

🃏 retired-jester-club Follow

im on the phone with poprichin rn they're revoking your massolit card

🐈‍⬛️ hippocat Follow

homeless AND jobless, pick a struggle

[quanyails]

My favorite part about modern world-class scientists and mathematicians is how none of them sound real

We've got this guy

won the Fields Medal for his work in plasma physics

reports to the French government about advancements in science and technology

doesn't look out of place as a Hogwarts professor

and this guy

uncovered a KGB hacker conspiracy ring

sells personalized glassblown Klein bottles

from a miniature robotic forklift warehouse under his house

used a slide rule in 2006

thought the internet was a fad

and especially this guy (RIP)

cracked the mystery of the NASA Challenger space shuttle explosion

cracked open safes in the Manhattan Project for funsies

won the Nobel Prize for his work in quantum electrodynamics

played the bongos on the side

couldn't tell left from right

[ddagent]

Would love to read your take on whatever you have in mind for 4.09: Brazil. :)

4.09 Brazil: Kiss + Star City + Divergence

Margo was used to the still of her apartment building, the benign quiet as she rose, stretched, made coffee. Even the hotel in Houston was quiet, the only sounds being the rattle of the air conditioner and the occasional drag of footsteps from her minders outside. That morning, however, Margo was awoken to the sound of cartoons. They were loud, obnoxious. She shuffled on the couch, blinking her eyes open. By Margo's feet, Graciana sat, cross legged, eating cereal. It was the chocolate kind, that made the milk go brown and went soggy far too quickly. Margo had never wanted to eat anything more.

"Do you want some?" Graciana saw her staring. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "I'll get you some. But I get the toy, deal?"

"Sounds fair."

Margo adjusted herself into a sitting position. Aleida's couch was better than her bed back in Moscow, but she still rolled her shoulders, adjusted her neck. While Graciana poured Margo a bowl of Coco Pops or Captain whatever, she packed away the blankets and pillows from her night on the couch. The minders outside had stiffened at her plans to stay the night but they had not argued. They were there to watch, nothing more. Irina would be the one to challenge her when Margo returned to Star City. If she returned to Star City.

Her gaze stole across the living room to the other couch. Sergei had already packed away his blanket and pillow, his jacket thrown hastily over the side. Aleida had insisted he stay, despite his assurances that he'd been careful. But ever since he had divulged what had happened at the IAC in '92, Aleida had been overly cautious over the presence of Roscosmos – and the KGB. So Sergei had stayed. Margo had stayed. The spare room had been discussed – but the thought of sharing a bed had seemed daunting to them both. So, they'd slept out here. His and hers couches.

"—and the milk goes chocolate-y, see?"

Graciana was returning with her cereal. And she'd brought a friend. "I do. Thank you, Graciana." Sergei's smile was bright as he chatted with Aleida's daughter. He then offered Margo one of the bowls he carried. Graciana left the pair of them to one couch while she happily took the other, now on her second bowl of cereal. "Good morning, Margo."

"Mornin', Sergei." They'd never spent the night before. Not like this. Seeing each other in the fresh light of a new day. It wasn't unpleasant. "How did you sleep?"

"Better, knowing that you would be here when I awoke." Margo stiffened. Sergei winced, and took the furthest seat on the couch. As always with them, it was one step forward, two steps back. He took a mouthful of cereal, before he clarified his remark. "I only meant that it is good to know that you are safe, Margo."

"Of course."

They were both such liars.

On the opposite couch, Graciana eyed them, both curious and unconcerned with what Tia Margo and her friend Sergei were discussing. Eventually she got bored of cartoons, and bored of the conversation happening with no words, and abandoned her cereal bowl in favour of the toy that had come in the box. Margo and Sergei were left, alone, in Aleida's living room. They ate, the quiet only punctuated by the sound of the cartoons blaring from the television set. Sick of the insipid sounds, Margo grabbed the remote and switched it to local news.

"—the victim worked the front desk of the Travel Inn behind me. It's not yet known why Conroy was in room 303 – only that he didn't make it out alive."

Margo continued to eat her cereal, listening to the news of a man shot dead at a Houston motel. She didn't notice that Sergei had stopped eating until the story changed to Moscow Margo and she jabbed at the remote. She saw his expression in the reflection of the television set. Pale. Haunted. Like all the air had been punctured out of his lungs.

A sick thought began to gnaw at Margo's mind. But it couldn't be. They'd been so careful! He was staying in some other motel. Some other room. But as she met Sergei's gaze, as his chest began to heave, they both accepted the truth. Irina Morozova had tried to kill him on US soil. Sergei had been saved only by Aleida's – now genuine – paranoia. But Irina wouldn't be satisfied with the death of a motel clerk. They would try again. Sergei was not safe. Neither was Margo. Neither was Aleida and her family.

"The kids are packing a bag." Both Margo and Sergei turned round to stare at Aleida. She stared back at them, resolute. "Get your things. We leave in ten."

Margo frowned. Her minders were outside; the asteroid capture mission was in its critical stage. "Where are we going?"

"Your boyfriend mentioned something about Brazil?" Sergei nodded. "Then we're going to Brazil."

[dbmars]

The theremin. A weird ass sci-fi sounding musical instrument invented by accident in the early 20th century by a guy who would later be kidnapped by the KGB and forced to work as their resident mad scientist. Known for goofy 1950s sci-fi soundtracks, how the hell does classical music loving fancy ass Hannibal Lecter who doesn't own a TV and can barely use an iPad master this technological marvel? And, most importantly, WHY? Join DB and Dream as they deep dive into the history and influence of the theremin and investigate the appeal to everybody's favorite cannibal babygurl.

Shoutout to @hannibalpod and @desperatelyseekingcannibals! @adreamwithin and I love you love you love you!!!

[unbearable-lightness-of-ink]

so. I read Dionysus in Wisconsin in one sitting and I cannot believe none of you nerds told me about this?? I had to stumble on this at a tiny local book fair? why aren't you all shouting about this already? this book is

gay

hilarious

full of phenomenal side characters

made up of a delightful diversity of magic types

did I mention gay

these men are so cute for each other I stg

it's literally about Dionysus what more do you want

it's about self and identity and relationships and fucked up families and deciding who you get to be and I'm going to be screaming about it for the rest of my life

and it's also about dreadful magic and blood and fire and violence <3

there's demons there's contrived-meet-cute-to-lovers there's an ex kgb babushka there's a motorcycle there's door county cherries what more do you want

my main complaint is that some absolutely phenomenal sounding retellings of Shakespeare plays were mentioned and I don't think they exist irl and I NEED to see them immediately.

(my second complaint is that it sounds like there just was affordable housing on the isthmus back in the 60s and I'm so so so jealous about this why can't I find a place to live that doesn't cost my entire paycheck and my firstborn)

[facts-i-just-made-up]

What about facts about the Soviet Union?

The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (or "CCCP" for short) was a country akin to a political amoeba that ingested numerous countries across eastern Europe from the 1920s to the 1990s, when its leader Gorbachev dissolved the country so that he could get McDonalds. Having Gorbed the country with his sphere of influence or, "Gorb Orb," the country reverted back into a Gorbillion (15) distinct nations. Martin Scorsese later made a movie about Gorbachev, which was immortalized in shoe tags.

The Soviet Union was considered a threat to America because while America was capitalist, the Soviet Union was communist. This means that while America, the land of the free, was ruled with an iron fist by the rich, the Soviet Union, land of the oppressed, was ruled with an iron fist by people pretending to care about the poor. This resulted in the creation of NATO, the National Organization of Theater Owners, and the Eastern Bloc, which was sort of like Tetris, I assume.

The Soviet Union is most famous today for having a pretty cool national anthem that sounds way better than America's, which was based on a drinking song from a strip club. The melody is still used for the Russian National Anthem with new lyrics because it just sounded good.

The Soviet Union had a long history of really horrible leaders including Stalin, who invented Stalinism, Kruschev, who got banned from Disneyland, and Brezhnev, whose eyebrows were considered a first degree global disaster by the International Concern for Grooming. This leadership evolved the intelligence service of the KGB into a rival to the CIA so that we could have spy movies and charlatans who like to imply they were spies but were really just assholes.

With the cold war over and the Soviet Union gone, the region is now a stable and peaceful place with no countries that pose any threats to anyone, with nearly 70% of its former nuclear stockpile more or less accounted for.

[monsterfactoryfanfic]

i just saw your post about the cataphract- the stat blocks are unreliably narrated? can you say more about that, that sounds incredibly fascinating-

Thanks for asking! So the game I'm writing is a diagetic document, it's written by the in-universe equivalent of a KGB agent. It's a rulebook, but it's also a piece of propaganda.

With regards to the Cataphracts, the unreliability comes in the flavor descriptions between the "good" fantasy USSR/Parthia stat blocks and the "evil" fantasy America/Vatican stat blocks. For example, compare Motivations of the Gadan Cataphracts to the Khajen Hussars:

Cataphracts- "Smash through the cowards who would raise their arms against Gada, hold the line until their final breaths" Hussars- "Show off, trample the common man, seduce impressionable youths with heroic lies."

They're both a heavy cavalry unit in imperial armies, but you can tell the author has a bias. The effect I hope this has will be to convey the tone of the book, ie, this was written by someone with an agenda. But because the flavor text is biased, I hope it'll get readers to consider that maybe the bad guys aren't so cowardly, and the good guys aren't as tough as they're made out to be, and encourage readers to mess with the stat blocks as a result.

[deeptrashwitch]

A Hidden True Heart

Aleks -> @alypink OC

Vasili/Bell -> @welldonekhushi OC

Koa -> @islandtarochips OC

Charles Moore was looking at the figure on his living room, letting the smoke fill the space between them for a second, then he just sighed. He took off his glasses and cleaned them while he tried to think about what to say, then looked at the person again.

"What are you doing here, girl?" he asked while he frowned "where's Bell? Usually he's the only one that comes to bother me"

"Adler and Park sent me, and about Bell, well, he had things to do" Aleksandra answered with a sigh "I came for the information Hudson and Adler asked for"

"Yeah, I know, I know. Do they need me to go and explain it?"

"No"

"Finally I can have some peace while you lead with those idiots" he muttered as he started to look for his notebooks "there are many things about soviet security systems that they don't know. Some of them are understimated by people like Adler, and trust me, there are many differences between the government systems and the other faction systems. The base is similar to the KGB, but I have to say, whoever planned the rest...is some kind of genius, the codification is based on a different pattern"

"Wow, how did you-?"

"I don't ask about Adler's way to do things, don't ask about mine"

"Fair, what about the Stasi's organization?"

"Very similar to what the KGB is, but without the stealth or the working ethic" he said with a shitty smile, that soon dissapeared "I met someone not so long ago, and thanks to that man, I have something that might interest you to eavde some places"

Charles showed her a page of his notebook, where some names were written, with just an abbreviation on the side. And that made Aleks look at Charles, surprised for the intel he had.

"This one and this other are on some kind of crisis, they don't consider the URSS as their place to be and are questioning all their believes" he said, pointing to some names "I'd tell that old bum to go and have a word with them. Do it before the reds get them"

"I...see" she said, reading the notes on the side "pragmatic? Like you? Will they work with us?"

"Offer them a good deal or find one of these that believes on the capitalist system and the liberal democracy"

"We will, thank you, Charles"

Before they could say anything else, the lights flicker and the constant line that Aleks had with the safehouse failed, and that put them both alert. The woman threw him the notebooks again, pointing at his bag, and Charles packed anything with sensible information in a matter of seconds. Once the last document was into the bag, Aleks made him run away down the aisle as she took out a gun, going right after him.

"I need to take you to the safehouse, now" she said with her jaw clenched

"Take the intel and go, they won't do-" he tried to say, just to be interrupted by Aleks

"Don't be so naive, Charles, it doesn't fits you. They'll do anything to know whatever they can about us and what information you have"

In minutes they were outside as the rain drenched them, but they continued running while they heard how the people started to notice they weren't there. A little detonation, softer than it usually was, called their attention just at the same time that a bullet hit the metal door near them. Aleks cursed while she shot back, trying to comunicate with the safehouse ot with anyone, but without use.

The sounds of bullets against different surfaces filled Charles' ears, but he continued as he heard Aleks more serious than ever, almost screaming orders to him. For a second he felt offended, but that feeling soon was replaced by the need to survive, and when they arrived to a huge neighborhood filled with old basements. While she tried to open any door, Charles hugged the bag to protect it from the rain, feeling paranoia and fear.

He noticed an unlocked door by pure luck, and when he was about to tell Aleks about it, a shot hit her leg as she screamed in pain. For a second he stood up frozen, but then he gave her the bag and started to drag her as fast as he could to that open door, watching with disgust the dirty basement. Once he left Aleks againt a table, he closed the door, locked it and use anything he could find as a barricade. Then he felt his heart beating so quickly that he thought of a heart attack, and the adrenaline ended, leaving him once again as weak as he was.

"Fuck, there's another entrance, isn't it? Shit" he whispered before running to check on Aleks

"Charles..."

"Shut up, alright? Shut the fuck up, that's exactly why I didn't wanted Adler to send you here, you're too careless" he hissed, using his belt to make a tourniquet while his hands were getting covered in blood "now I have to find a way to take you out of here"

"Maybe we can contact with the saf-"

"How?! Somehow they damaged the line you had!"

"Just let me look for something-"

"Don't you dare move! You're gonna bleed out at this rate!"

As he said that, he stood up frustrated, passing a hand over his now soaked hair. Soon he started to look around to find anything that could help them, which was an old radio, probably their only hope. When he looked it closely, he sighed as he noticed that was a model that the Stasi and almost everyone had pinched, but at the same time they had no other option.

"How do I use it?" Charles asked in a growl

"Are you sure...?"

"Yes, now tell me!"

Aleks told him the instructions, and Charles followed them with his hands shaking, finally finding a good conection. Then he started to look for a line they could use, one that he heard Bell say once, muttering the numbers for himself.

"Bell, please tell me you copy" he said through the radio

"..."

"Answer damnit!" Charles screeched in despair

"Moore? What's going on?" Bell/Vasili asked, answering the line "how do you-?"

"We fucking need help! The Stasi found us!"

"What?!"

"The girl is shot and I don't know how much it'll last!"

"...Where are you?"

"Like two or three blocks away from my assignated aparment"

"Ahh blyat" Bell hissed, before getting serious "give me ten, I'll be there"

The line was cut, and after that, Charles used anything he could find as a weapon, shaking as a leaf. He was so scared, knowing that he didn't have any opportunity to defend himself, but maybe...maybe he could win time for Aleks. For a second he looked the wounded woman, trying to control his broken breath, then hearing how the principal door of the building opened.

Charles lifted up the steel bar as the basement door opened, cursing as some officers entered as they screamed in german. He tried to use the bar to defend himself, but the Stasi took it from his hands and started to beat him up while roaring questions, and Charles covered his head as an instinct. For a second the world became blurry because of the pain, but a shot made the beating stop and blindly he ran to cover Aleks with his own body, unable to see correctly without his glasses.

"Calm down, Charles" Vasili/Bell told him, walking towards him "I'm not gonna ruin your face even more"

"Bell? You little-" he hissed before smiling tiredly "first time I'm glad to see you"

"Yeah, how do you feel?"

"Help the girl first, I'm not that weak" Charles muttered, moving aside "the Stasi got her worst"

"...If you say so. Also, that wasn't the Stasi, they were Perseus' soldiers"

"Ahh fuck"

"So it was true" Koa said as he entered, making Charles sigh "you were attacked. I thought you'd leave Aleks"

"Listen asshole, I can be a prick, but I won't play with lives that are my responsability" Charles hissed "I'm not Adler"

"...I know, but that doesn't take down the fact that you're a son of a bitch" the Captain said, giving him his glasses "here, get them, mole"

"Fuck off, jackass"

Back in the safehouse, Charles hissed as Mason reluctanly helped him with his arm, and he walked outside with his jacket over his shoulders when he finished. He frowned towards Adler, who just looked at him in silence, all while Aleks was being treated. Charles went to talk with him, furious while he tried not to move his injured arm, squaring up ready to fight him even if he was in absolutely disadvantage.

"Don't you fucking send that girl to me again" he growled, looking the agent in the eyes "I won't lead with her again"

"We'll see" Adler said, indiferently

Charles mumbled something in the middle of his rage, but walked away to where Koa was. The Captain looked at him, then scoffed before looming outside again, while Vasili/Bell was near...now less keen to talk, just staring at Adler. And soon the professor looked at him, nodding as a thanks, then leaning against the wall.

"So your arm is broken now, huh?" Koa murmured without looking at him

"Not quite, just hurt" he answered with a sigh "...thanks for the help, Nakiu"

"I was near and Bell found me, I just went for Aleks"

"I'm aware, but still. Also, I wanted to ask you for something"

"What...is it?"

"Can you help me to train? I prefer not to be beaten to the pulp again"

"Right, because of you..." Koa murmured, not believing that last part "I guess I can look for a way to help, but I won't have mercy with you, prick"

"I know"

"Hmm, and what are you gonna do about the information? Bell got the bag before"

Vasili/Bell nodded, giving him the notebook, raising an eyebrow in a silent question. When the man looked at Adler again, they followed his look and Charles only sighed, leaving the notebook over a table and then writing the couple of names he told Aleks before. He gave him the piece of paper with a dead stare, to which Vasili/Bell just smiled in silence before taking the paper and go to give it to Adler and Park.

"Why not the whole thing?" Koa whispered as he took out a cigarette

"And give Adler objectives, information and escentially power in East Berlin? Don't make me laugh" Charles answered, taking his notebook again "I'd be stupid if I did"

Soon Aleks walked towards them, moving with difficulty using the crutches, but smiling quietly. And Koa noticed a bit of regret on Charles' eyes, but he didn't say anything, just staying in silence for a while.

"Hey Charles, thank you for before" she said calmly, smiling slightly

"...Ujum, now go sit somewhere" he murmured, worried and irritated, pinching the his nose bridge "you're hurt and even clumsier now, find somewhere to sit and stop walking around"

"You are an asshole" Aleks muttered with a little smile, hugging him quickly before going to sit near the evidence board "anyway, thanks Charlie!"

"...Pfff, you should see your face" Koa wheezed beside him

"Shut up" Charles growled, irritated

For a second they stayed in silence, just looking how Vasili/Bell helped Aleks to move and sit, surprisingly careful. And when the professor sighed, Koa just raised an eyebrow, smiling softly as he put a hand over Charles' shoulder.

"You feel guilty, don't you?"

"...She shouldn't have been there, neither should've saved me" he answered quietly "maybe if she wasn't there, she wouldn't have been shot and now like this. She got hurt because of me"

"Well, you also defended her down there, even if you were blind as hell. I guess you're fair as well, and that's why you want to learn or at least be fit?"

"Meh, kind of" he answered, also taking out a cigarette

"Will you ever forget it?"

"...No, I'll never forget it nor forgive myself. If I was stronger, then this wouldn't have happened"

"If you say so, Charlie"

"Don't start you too, stupid meathead" Charles growled, then sighed before giving Koa his notebook "I prefer that you have it, use it with Bell however you think is the best"

"...I'll make a war crime, y'know?" he joked, looking at him

"Then leave me out of it, frame Adler now that you're on it" he scoffed as well

"Heh, deal. Have a light?"

"...No" he said while he used his lighter to light his cigarette

"You fucker"

"Get used to it, Nakiu"