#KARKAT GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT!!

[4sk4ltstuck]

hii!! could you tell me what types of alternative each troll is? also i love ur art!

YES !! AND TYSMM (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

I originally planned on writing way more but I accidentally deleted my original explanation which really fucking sucks um

Anywho ill put these under a cut !!

Aradia — White goth, specifically when shes dead though. Trad goth for when she's alive, and cyber goth for when she's a robot [I'll make designs for those eventually]

Tavros — Emo, but in the way that he thinks emo is a clothing style instead of a music genre. He's also based off of Rufioh to show that he got inspo from him

Sollux — A sort of "idgaf" style, will wear whatever he can find but it typically comes off as alt to people who aren't alt, in the way that people get barked at for wearing black

Karkat — Emo, in the way that he knows it's a music genre but will crash the fuck out if he was ever called emo. His style is also just more on the chill side because he seems like the type to hate wearing jewelry

Nepeta — 2020 alt, both because I adore 2020 alt and because it's a reference to how people fanonize her. Originally I was going to make her scene but it just didn't feel right to me

Kanaya — Trad goth, since it just fits in my head. Her being a rainbow drinker and her general vibe just SCREAMED trad goth to me bro

Terezi — I'm not going to lie its based off of my own style in a way. It just wears whatever "tastes the best" which turns out to look crazy as fuck and is how I love to dress personally. She was another who I almost made scene but it just didn't feel right

Vriska — She doesn't have a label because she hates them, but she was made to look like she uses tumblr so take that how you will

Equius — Punk [for irony purposes], but it's more toned down since he's only recently begun to dress differently

Gamzee — His outfit was entirely based off of ICP shit, like his shirt is a reference to the jerseys !!

Eridan — He was originally intended to be emo considering he does listen to midwestern emo, but I chose instead to make his style more of an inbetween one. It's one that makes him feel comfortable while he continues to figure himself out

Feferi — Gyaru!!! Spesifically himegyaru. She was another one whos style was really obvious to me, and she was actually the first one I designed

Yes a lot of them don't have spesific labels, but to me I don't feel like alt NEEDS labels!!! Dress how you want!!! Make people stare!!! Have fun being you!!! Fuck it we BALL!!!

[nintendont2502]

just saw ur caste dating discourse post and realized meulin would've been lambasted by all of those groups for getting w the 2 highest landdwelling castes. kankri would write her callout post. feferi would've been accused of coercing sollux to be w her etc etc

girl would be in the TRENCHES fighting off the waves of terminally online freaks kankri keeps sending her way,, someone save her

genuinely i dont think a single beta troll wouldve made it through the discourse unscathed LMAO

aradia? well clearly shes only with sollux because he could easily kill her w/ his psiionics (god help them if the grumblr mob ever finds out that he *did* technically do that one time)

tavros is held up as like the posterchild for why lowbloods and highbloods shouldnt be in quadrants even though he and vriska were uh. never in a quad together. does he try *telling* anyone that? probably not!

sollux? psiionics. threatening aradia into a quad. (also tbh getting into a quad with someone when youre a goldblood is lowkey problematic because what are they supposed to do after you're sent offplanet and helmed? its honestly really manipulative holding someones quad hostage only to leave them forever which is why all golds should take a vow of celibacy-) hes only making it worse by being an absolute dick to everyone involved and escalating shit so far that theres multiple attempts on his life and everyones *convinced* hes a serial manipulating asshole because lmao why would he tell those idiots theyre wrong

karkat? you mean that hemoanon freak thats probably just a highblood trying to pass himself off as a lower caste so he can manipulate lowbloods into his quads?

nepeta and equius would be torn APART - not only is he three castes higher than her, but hes also far physically stronger so clearly shes the weak defenseless victim here (they keep saying this even after she culls someone for it. nep im so sorry)

kanaya shouldnt even *be* in a quad since shes a jade and theyre meant to be sequestered (similar argument to golds where actually its really cruel and manipulative to be in a quad with someone when you know you two are going to be forced to be apart for sweeps - no they dont care that she left the caverns. she still shouldnt be doing that shit its a bad example for other jades smh)

terezis honestly the most divided because her relationships are either her and karkat (potential highblood, terezi might be victim *or* karkat is a lowblood and shes the one with power over him) or her and vriska (no one wants to know whats going on there). although tbh she is a lawyer which means she can get her quads tried and killed for whatever bullshit crime she can come up with if they try to leave :/ never date a cop lawyer folks

vriska. mind control. do i need to say more. every vriska relationship is toxic and awful and she wouldve been cancelled 50 times over if the ringleaders of her callout posts didnt mysteriously 'deactivate'

equius. too strong to date - how can you be in a quad with someone that not only has a shit ton of social power over you, but also could literally tear you apart if he wanted to. also lowkey problematic for making and fighting/kissing (??? its unclear online and no one wants to know) robots :/ like those are clearly stand ins for lowbloods that hes attacking/potentially fetishising and they literally have to do everything he says thats fucked up

gamzee. highblood. automatic oppressor. part of a niche religion - if you try to quad him you either have to convert (cultural (caste?) appropriation) or dont become part of the clurch (rude, disrespecting his beliefs). constant discourse about whether clowns can even consent to a quad because theyre presumably high all the time as part of their religious practices. constant discourse about how assuming clowns are high all the time as part of their religious practices is casteist as fuck.

eridan. somehow one of the least problematic trolls out of the group (which is saying a fucking LOT). only has quads with someone a caste higher than him (although that caste is fuschia. is he the victim here??). pursues lowbloods constantly though which is problematic as fuck (at least he doesnt kill them if they turn him down. the bar is on the fucking floor)

feferi. god forbid a woman do anything. pale with eridan? sure hes only a caste lower than her but also shes the literal fucking heiress - what was he gonna do, say no? he cant even hide in the ocean from her!! shes a seadweller too!! flushed with sollux? holy shit hes like 8 castes lower than her of fucking course he had to say yes! shes probably only dating him so she can helm him later anyway :/ really its problematic as shit for her to even have friendships with trolls of other castes because shes just using them without giving them the benefits of being in a quad (shes the literal heiress of course shes going to get whatever she wants from them) - but also if she stayed distant and didnt talk to anyone then shed be accused of being full of herself and thinking she was better than anyone else and #NotMyHeiress

[thewertsearch]

?GG: im through humoring you, i dont even care about this stupid exploded robot mission, whatever that was FCG: OH RIGHT, ABOUT THAT FCG: YEAH WE NEED TO TALK FCG: I MEAN WE HAVE ALREADY FROM MY PERSPECTIVE FCG: BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE REALLY BUSY SOON, BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO ENTER YOUR SESSION FCG: SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU DO, THEN JUST HIT ME UP, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT

I'm not complaining - believe me, I'm not - but it sounds like this entire conversation was pointless. If Karkat's plan doesn't kick in until after she Enters, then all this Pesterlog really did was piss Jade off.

I suppose not every conversation needs to be this huge plot-heavy loredump - hell, half of Act 1 was just the kids chilling. Sometimes it's worth it just to sit back and watch Karkat make an ass of himself.

Plus, it's probably a good thing that Jade lost her temper - it probably cleared the air a little. Karkat's been harassing her since day one, and something needed to be said.

?TG: dude i cant believe you were just getting on our case about hitting on the troll girls ?TG: and then literally the very next memo you are slobbering all over jade ?TG: thats just perfect hahahaha CCG banned ?TG: from responding to memo. FCG rebanned ?TG: from responding to memo.

Not the double banhammer!

Damn it, I wanted Dave to stay in the mix. Every group chat these kids have is fucking fantastic.

?GG: i also cant wait for past you to past drop dead and go to hell, PAST TENSE!!!!!!!! ?GG: when are those things going to happen?? or will have already past/future happened????? ?GG: i want to put another reminder on my finger so i know when its time to throw a party!!!!

And I think I know which finger you're most likely to use!

FCG: HOW'S THIS FOR A PACT, EVERYBODY. FCG: PAST KARKAT ONLY TALKS TO PAST JADE FROM NOW ON, AND THE TWO OF THEM CAN BICKER LIKE SHITTY LITTLE CHILDREN FOR HOURS/YEARS RESPECTIVELY. FCG: AND FUTURE KARKAT ONLY TALKS TO FUTURE JADE, AN ARRANGEMENT WHEREIN ONLY INTELLIGENT DISCOURSE TAKES PLACE BETWEEN TWO CIVILIZED, MATURE, GROWN ASSED ADULTS.

Woaugh,, so you're saying, like, your conversations should respect the linear flow of time, thereby sidestepping the headache-inducing complexities of Trollian's nonlinear messaging?

Dude, that is such a good idea. Why didn't you think of it sooner? Why didn't you think of it sooner, Karkat?

You consult your reminders to get your bearings on what to do next. But you can't remember what they mean at all. You have a feeling these are all useless now.

Many of those reminders were tied to Skaian prophecies, and were probably stored in Dream Jade's brain. To you, they're useless - and it's not like you can make any more.

Jade the Seer is dead.

The hour of the Witch is upon us.

[banmitbandit]

Shoutout to a few of my bloodswap Solluxes :) Infodumps about them in the Keep Reading if I formatted Tumblr Correctly. I just couldn't stop myself from writing a bunch about all of them Q~Q

I always wanna draw more of Sollux so more bloodswaps is obviously the way to go about it :)

Burgundy!Sollux - telosAutotelic

Sollux dies pre-SGRUB, and can't bring up the energy to care about anything anymore, let alone his whole red and blue schtick. Shortly after the game begins, he's "gifted" a new robot body by Equius in return for having done some extensive troubleshooting for him in the past. He's horrified to find his new metal husk has all the features wrong- the horns are wrong, the teeth are wrong, fuck, even the stupid red and blue are wrong, and he hates it so much - he had no idea he could even feel hate anymore - he only uses it when it's more efficient to be a robot than a ghost. He quite literally doesn't have the time to fuck around these days. Equius is miffed his psychological warfare to get Sollux pitch with him fails so spectacularly.

Mutant!Sollux - tacticsAllogeneics

Sollux tells everyone he has red blood, but no one believes him because that's totally not a thing. This is all according to keikaku (Keikaku means plan). Despite this, everyone seems to think he's a pretty cool dude, and so when SGRUB comes around, everyone kind of just looks to him to lead. His only experience with leading is strategy games and a few FLARP sessions. He's absolutely miserable. He ends up learning just how fucked up his friends are in the thinkpans, and it falls on him to have to try and haul their asses into being useful. It causes some ire with his friends who come to the conclusion he sees them as chess pieces rather than people, but really he just wants to get through this game without people kicking the metaphorical bucket. He's forced to play the healer in video games.

Purple!Sollux - tamedAnimus

Sollux is the descendant of one of the most notorious purplebloods of all time, who had the art of subjuggulating down to a science, and he wants nothing to do with his legacy or the church, only maintaining a few rituals out of routine habit. He's found a good couple of heretics who are pretty chill, and as loathe as he is to admit it, he wants to see them thrive. He makes a conscious effort to keep his violent highblooded tendencies in check for them, though his mood swings are both frequent and intense. One problem, a rather big one, is that he can quite literally feel the emotions of those around him, hyper-empathetic to the point where strong emotions from his peers during the game give him migraines. When things start kicking off and people start dying, Sollux acts on the fear, panic, and rage that's flooding him like adrenaline and attacks two of his friends, losing his eye in the process. When everything cools down, guilt eats him into hypervigilance, leaving him paranoid and self-destructive.

Violet!Sollux - trenchantAnglerfish

Sollux has spent his entire life deep underwater, where few seadwellers dare to live. The Continental Catfish keeps itself well fed but Nepeta has difficulty finding the thing most days, so Sollux's small army of fishbots keep an eye on it for her, tracking its movements. Because he's never gone above water, he's something of a NEET, and Nepeta is glad she can push him onto some of her friends when the game starts because he really needs to get out more. He's not the worst, all things considered; he's somewhat petty and spiteful when wronged, but this is mostly a result of his on-again, off-again relationship with Karkat, who happens to think he's a huge tool with an even bigger ego (and his best friend). The first thing he alchemizes is a pair of dark-tinted glasses for his extreme light sensitivity.

[mmmmalo]

In terms of textual references to goatse, the closest is definitely Rose's conversation with Tavros that has multiple references to Getting Dave's Goat sandwiched between accusations that Tavros wants to fuck his ass.

Dunno if that would mean bleating like a goat becomes a fart though? Or if the goat-troll's clown horns sound off farts via honking... Substitution time. "Gamzee farts and his codpiece jiggles ominously," I see. Karkat is now running for his life from a "DEMENTED FARTING ASSHOLE," I see. "Weird farts wafting from the ventshafts... fill the fetid laboratory air," I see.

Jokes aside, the VAST HONK (and the Vast Glub, from the Rift's Carbuncle) honestly works nicely as farts, it brings them into alignment with other spooky pillars of ironic homophobia like the ominous red robot eyes that acquire anal associations from the Red Sun. Makes it funnier that Terezi sees through smell too...

[pass1onepr1ncess]

Sorry for Homestuck posting on main but something I don't see people talking about nearly enough in regards to Jane's Birthday is that there's this big circle of Jane wants Jake and Dirk wants Jake and Jake doesn't seem to want anyone (AroAce king btw, shoutout Jake English) and I know later on with the Godtier Beds Jane and Dirk were able to talk about that and make their peace with it. But no one wanted Roxy.

Everyone else was so occupied with chasing each other that Roxy was kinda left with Fefetasprite as their only companion during their entire session. And when Roxy tried to do their best to console and hang out with Jane- despite knowing that she'd rather be with Jake- Jane turned around and snapped on them.

Roxy was the one Alpha who was kinda left behind by the others. Not only that, but then they were "left behind" in a sense when everyone died during Game Over. And though they had to have known that it wasn't on purpose and that their friends weren't trying to get themselves killed just to leave them behind, they had to have at least felt abandoned regardless. And then the only person who survived, John, also had to leave them behind in the void to retcon the whole mess with his Narrative powers.

Not to mention how already abandoned they must have felt because of Alpha Rose dying before Roxy even became conscious. There was that short bit of time at the very end that Roxy was able to feel wanted with John and Calliope, but then we see in the epilogues that that was short lived. Even in the timeline where John and Roxy get married, they eventually get divorced because Roxy realizes they're not wanted and doesn't want to trap John in a loveless marriage despite their whole son that they had together. And they have to live through their closest (yet still very distant friend) dying and killing himself.

And then in meat they have to go through their transition entirely alone, getting misgendered by someone they love dearly through the narrative only to eventually witness him fucking off in a massive rocket and leaving without even saying goodbye.

I see Roxy depicted as this carefree and bubbly character who's always there for their friends, but I don't see many people talk about how no one's really ever there for Roxy. Even Rose, their own daughter AND mother, leaves to be with Kanaya and then leaves again to fuck off with Dirk into outer space. And then Dave ALSO leaves- either to be with Karkat in a dark apartment somewhere or to turn himself into a robot to follow Dirk and Rose.

[cyber-corp]

A """summary""" of Homestuck: Act 6 Part 1

by someone who's glad they've gone back to basics for a bit

Let's (for a brief, fleeting moment) start again nice and simple.

It is the 11th of November, 2011 and today a young girl named Jane Crocker is excited to play the alpha for a game that comes out today called SBURB. How fun!

Jane here is heiress to Betty Crocker's baked goods empire (as mentioned previously in Nannasprite's story), and there is also set to be a major rebranding initiative happening today as well. She likes baking, detective stories, as well as the occasional jape.

But look out! There's another guy! His name is Jake English, and he's quite fond of action-adventure flicks, guns, and blue alien chicks. Fucking freak he is.

Jake is currently helping/pestering Jade, his ectodaughter/dead grandma who is set to give it to John (Jake's relations with him is yet to be revealed), before realising that it'll need a bit of uranium to be finished. He only can get it through a boy called Dirk Strider, (unfortunately), and his Brobot which just so happens to be the only source of uranium on the island that Jake lives on.

Before he pesters Dirk, Jake gets a message from someone (presumably a troll) named UU. They essentially tell him "hey!!! go for it!! i believe in yoU!!! also this event is extremely important timeline-wise, so dont screw it Up!!!!"

Jake attempts to get to Dirk about uranium, only to get the equivalent of an AI-based answering machine, much to his dismay.

He then heads out of the island's forest (with the dread of the Brobot lingering) and into the open. He witnesses the beautiful fauna on display.

Too beautiful for comfort.

Jake attempts a getaway, before being swarmed by a large swarm of fairy bulls! Whatever shall he do now? But not to worry, because a certain BrotherRobot has come to rescue!

He then immediately gets his ass kicked royally, (complete with Tensei's amazing score) and blacks out. He has a dream about someone who kinda looks like Vriska???? But isn't really??? Maybe it's one of the prophecy people that Doc Scratch was talking about??? Or undead Vriska??? idk man.....

He tells Roxy Lalonde about this, who panics because everyone in the group is attracted to Jake in some way. He is a harem protag, apparently.

Anyway, while Jane has the most relatable moment in all of Homestuck by awkwardly confirming her and Jake's 'friendship', Brobot tears out its own heart, then blows itself up, giving Jake the uranium he needs. He also confesses to Jane that he and Dirk would be a good couple!!!!

The Alpha Gang have proved themselves to be superior to the Beta Gang by being gay.

Jake is last seen in this chapter heading down the frog temple, presumably to finally send that package.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Jane!

So CrockerCorp undergoes its big rebranding, changing its symbol to a fork instead of a spoon, which will have very big implications later on.

After UU pesters her about the nature of the game she will play, she continues to look out the window, to no game yet in her mailbox.

While pestering a ditzy girl named Roxy Lalonde, she just so happens to notice that her mailbox flappy thing is up, meaning the game is finally here! She dons a shitty disguise to confuse her dad (which is the same as John's dad), and, with the help of Dirk's robot bunny Lil Seb creating a massive hole in the wall, she lass scampers out of there.

She opens the mailbox, which then proceeds to fucking explode, knocking her out and sending her to Prospit, where Jack Noir ᶠᵘᶜᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᵏᶦˡˡˢ ʰᵉʳ ᵍᵒᵈᵈᵃᵐᵐᶦᵗ before she wakes up.

I think at this point I am completely past the point of no return and have no choice but to cosplay as Gamzee with nothing but grey Sharpie. Other than that, Homestuck continues to keep itself fresh and interesting through established lore (probably from a page you don't even remember because you were too distracted by Karkat yelling).

Even more excited to see where this goes!

[alfiely-art]

Bestie asked for me to explain what I thought homestuck was gonna be like and their opinion is all that matters. This is for you bro

Alright so I thought there were like, Other Kids than the main eight- they just didn't matter or anything to the plot yk. Because you see. I thought the trolls were like... npcs in sburb. I heard the term "patron troll" and was like oh!! Each kid gets a troll to guide them! Alright hell yeah!!!

So basically I thought the trolls would have the role the sprites do, guiding the kids and showing them how the game works (while being stupid and cringe. Cuz. Yk. They're kids.) I didn't match any kids to any trolls other than Karkat and Dave because I figured that'd be why Davekat is so popular, and I also decided that Vriska had an unimportant kid

I had heard she shoved someone off a cliff so I thought she shoved the kid she was mentoring. She didn't wanna just be a guide, she wanted to be IMPORTANT and a HERO!!!! So she shoved her kid off a cliff and took their place in the story.

I also (for some reason) assumed that not everyone could win the game and THATS why so many characters die- like. It's a competition and you gotta kill the others to win. Like. Danganronpa but without trials. You're just fucking killing each other. Wait no that's more like hunger games. Yeah hunger games but with aliens and robots

I also assumed Betty Crocker would be built up to and battled in Act 5, while Lord English would sorta hang in the background and be faced in Act 6 (I didn't know that Jack Noir was. Even a thing. Imagine my surprise, when I assumed betty crocker was gonna be the first villain,)

I ALSO assumed that John was gonna like. Pull an Evangelion and make it so everybody can make it through sburb and be happy. Like "I don't want to hurt people for this stupid game I want to hang out with my friends" and just. Flips off the narrative he's gonna go chill!!!!! And he's taking the npcs with him they should be able to live outside the game too!!!!! Fuck lord english he's gonna go play minecraft. Kinda like the ending of psycholonials now that I think about it

Other things I thought:

Erisol toxic yaoi (they had like one convo ?)

Feferi racism (I heard nepeta hated her for being racist)

They would go to alternate timelines and meet alternate versions of themselves

^^ or at the very least Dirk would. There was a universe where Hal had a body and that's where the sprite of hal with a body came from, Dirk would have to see that Hal is. Just him but being treated like SHITTT. And that giving him a body is. Actually a good idea maybe.

Alpha kids actually do things in the story other than Just Roxy and Jane That One Time When She Was Evil

I think that was the majority of my assumptions ? But yeaggg. Homestuck sure was different than i thought.

[davekat-sucks]

To add to Imisshomestuck’s ask, Karkat only beat Clover because of Sollux. Back at the start of Act 5 Act 1 when Sollux discussed with Terezi the team roles, he messages her back after Aradia tells Sollux Sgrub will end the world and they will only temporarily win the game. Karkat gets hissy that he is about to be red team leader and to spite Sollux activates one of his viruses since Karkat thinks Sollux is bluffing when he makes his programs. This virus curses the user to give everyone he meets bad luck and dooms their lusii to inevitably die. Every troll’s lusus dies before they enter the medium, and of course all the Beta kid’s guardians die within the game of Sburb die to Jack Noir, or from Tavros for the case of Jade’s grandpa. Karkat is partially responsible for all of these deaths, and Jack Noir was also a partial consequence of Karkat rushing the frog breeding, mixing a virus with incomplete genetic code to make a tumor, the one that rests in the beta kid’s sburb game and creates the green sun, which creates Jack Noir (even if Vriska did intervene she was just putting the puzzle pieces she was given into place)

This virus extends to the end of the comic. Karkat fights Lord English in a dreambubble and Clover in [S] Collide. The bad luck should carry over to both since Karkat encountered both of them at least. Karkat’s bad luck negates Clover’s infinite luck and thus Karkat has a more fair fight with Clover. I guess since Lord English acts as the felt’s boss he could count as a guardian, and thus is fated to die? No way Karkat contributed to the death of Lord English but by narrative means this was a curse put upon Lord English because Karkat activated Sollux’s powerful virus.

How does this link to Karkat’s suggested role as the new leader of the trolls? Not much. Karkat caused the indirect downfall of Lord English by trying to deal the first blow, and if you stretch it out far enough, doomed the Condesce by meeting Jane, since the Condesce is Jane’s technical corporate guardian and would thus be fated to die. The whole fate thing in postcanon more relates to Karkat… failing to do his duties or repeating the role of his ancestor. In Meat Karkat runs for president and fails because of Dirk’s meddling, losing his role Echidna wanted and fucking up Earth C forever. In Candy he’s just the signless 2. Same long pants and cape, fighting a fascist dictator (but now he has the old fascist dictator as his military advisor) when I’m pretty sure Karkat’s whole ordeal is he thinks ancestors are dumb and destiny doesn’t exist. Sucks to be proven wrong, huh.

And most importantly, in Candy most of the cast have kids. Dave, Dirk, and Calliope are the only Candy timeline main cast who do not have kids and Dirk is already gone, Dave is a robot, and Calliope is around. All the other main cast of Homestuck have kids or adopted. If Karkat meets them, those kids are doomed with bad luck, and their guardians are fated to die. This is a doomed timeline. Candy is going to end with everyone dead, and the world a wasteland for the cherubs to be born.

The ending is already here, we’re just watching the narrative disaster happen slowly until all the cards fold.

It's going to be a very very very long journey to reach there. And I'm not sure if I'll be ready to handle that when it comes. Or worse, HICU subverts it to make sure parts of Candy will still be around so that it converges with the Meat timeline, thus finally giving people the Pumpkin Route some had speculated.

[karkatting]

alphaswitch au - introduction

hi! here is some info about the alphaswitch au by @clockworkdrop​ and i, since some people expressed interest in it!

all of this is directly copied from the huge doc we have, and this post is mostly focused on the characters. not everything is set in stone/planned out yet, so some characters have more info than others. my plan is to update this post with new stuff as we figure it out lol.

general stuff

alpha kids and dancestor trolls are the ‘beta session(s)’

dirk and roxy live in the same year as jane and jake

alpha kids and dancestors are the same age (16 at the beginning, 19 by the end)

not a direct parallel of the canon beta session, some things are different

session lasts several months

the rest is under a readmore cus this shits long

alpha humans

jane:

server player: roxy

sprite: gcat + poppop

patron troll: aranea

receives guidance from meenah

guardian, dad (dad), john is deceased

meenah insisted on being her guide instead of aranea because of their connection

meenah tries to give relationship advice but since she’s jumping all over it’s not helpful

jake:

server player: supposed to be jane, ends up being dirk

sprite: dirkbot + ??

patron troll: kankri

receives guidance from aranea

guardian, jade, is deceased and was grown into a giant tree on the island

aranea became his guide after kankri fucked off and meenah stole jane from her

aranea tries to give him romantic advice but it kinda doesn’t work

roxy:

server player: dirk

sprite: wizard doll + frigglish

patron troll & guidance: porrim

guardian, rose, is a prolific author whom roxy really looks up to, but she feels a sort of distance from her that she doesn’t know how to fix

often talks to meulin about cats and other things. roxy learns about the quadrant system from her

when her mom dies, has an aspect berserk moment similar to rose’s grimdark that causes her viewport to go dark

has some internalized homophobia, doesn’t know she’s not straight (yet)

dirk:

server player: jake

sprite: a puppet i guess + dirk’s head

patron troll: latula

receives guidance from kankri & latula

guardian, dave, is a famous movie director and is rarely home. he leaves various items and notes around the house for him

secretly wants to be closer with him, probably kind of fucked up when he dies

still has lil hal who is just as much of a nuisance. maybe even more so

while his patron troll is latula, kankri quickly took her place as his guide both because dirk is the only one that can even somewhat handle talking to him and kankri finds him infuriating in an intrigued way. he also thought latula wasn’t “doing it right”

he still talks to latula, they get along well. she maybe helps him out with jake stuff cus kankri sure as hell isn’t going to. she is also more helpful with game stuff than kankri is

after dirkjake kiss, dirks head ends up in dirks puppet sprite so he has dirksprite (another splinter, he mad)

hal

still glasses

just being so annoying to dirk

also to kankri

he figures out whats up with dirkkri before dirk does

eventually dirk is convinced to make the body for him, its a horse robot but it can also transform into a human body too. hal loves it unironically but dirk is using like 12 layers of irony to rationalize this being a good decision

trolls

session lasts 3 years (13-16)

won but just barely

still gave the frog cancer

tons of teen drama still

basically everything that was described in the comic to happen before the dreambubbles still happens, except the scratch

kankri:

trollhandle: genesiologicalCancriform (GC)

genesiology - obsolete term for study of genetics/reproduction

cancriform - latin adjective describing crabs/cancers

in a neverending cycle of debate with his past and future selves

probably likes troll documentaries

panquadromantic like karkat, but just suppresses any sort of romantic feelings he has towards anyone. a lot of internalized… panquadrophobia???

pretends he’s not suppressing anything because all microlabels are valid but also shames porrim but he’s never been a hypocrite in his life 

his celibacy is more of a result of the hemocaste system on beforus rather than a genuine disinterest in romance - he wants to feel independent and not be “coddled” by anyone

picks fights/debates with dirk over stupid shit just for the hell of it

still has a crush on latula (at first)

pacifist, so probably relied on porrim to help him during the game (was mad about it though) (his plan was to lecture to imps and ogres to go away)

she teaches him how to use guns but he still rarely utilizes it

Still wearing the leggings until right when the humans arrive, when porrim gives him the sweater

arc: learning to listen to his friends instead of speaking over them, not be misogynistic and ableist, quadrant stuff, recognize some of the group don’t care about hemospectrum, learn to accept help from others (and hopefully get the rest of them there) (dirk helps with most of it)

meulin:

trollhandle: catalysislAficionado (CA)

catalysis - a catalyst is something that provokes significant change or action, referring to her matchmaking

aficionado - she loves doing it

very invested in the love lives of the kids and tries to help them out with their crushes even if it has no chance of happening

idk i think she’s just taking them like barbies and smooshing their heads together

has a tendency to view others as characters rather than real people

causes problems through incompetence/obliviousness to others’ feelings

besties/eventual moirails with roxy

this catgirl can fit so many repressed emotions in her

arc: get away from kurloz (roxy), learn boundaries (also roxy?)

meenah:

trollhandle: (CC)

feels connected to jane after going through her timeline, for reasons she doesn’t understand (yet)

tries to get jane to do dangerous stuff because she thinks it’ll make her a stronger player

constantly jumps around the timeline because she’s looking for exciting things to do

godtier

arc: meenah really cares about her friends but they all have strained relationships because she spent so long bullying them to make them stronger at the game, so a good place for her arc would be her becoming a good leader but not through like dictatorship and telling them what to do or whatever, but just by learning to better utilize how she cares and lead by supporting them. not feeling the need to steal things and gain power or something

aranea:

trollhandle: ????Avicularia (GA)

avicularia - genus of spiders, specifically tarantulas. idk i thought it sounded cool

godtier

mastermind behind the dirkjake kiss

talks to the kids about classpects but like in a calliope way where it’s a little too literal

pushing jake hard to level up since pages are a “weaker class” (in the same vein of vriska with tavros and also john)

while vriska tries to learn a lot about the game so she can cheat to the end, aranea learns a lot about the game so she can know everything and make the best plan to win.

latula:

trollhandle: calibratingGriptape (CG)

calibrating - parallels terezi’s handle

griptape - grip tape is the material on top of a skateboard

prompted to give dirk relationship advice after seeing the dirkjake kiss. she thought it was very cool

even though kankri “took her place” as dirk’s guide, she still ends up helping dirk more because kankri kind of sucks at it

has a lot of thoughts about being pushed out by kankri but is trying not to show it (rad girl facade, etc)

arc: stop putting on the rad girl persona and be herself

porrim:

Trollhandle: antevortianGirl (AG)

antevorta - roman goddess of childbirth and prophecy

girl - #girl

serves as roxy’s guide/patron troll during the game. helps her with actual game stuff as opposed to meulin who helps her with interpersonal stuff

arc: stop infantalizing everyone below her on hemospectrum, something something matriorb

damara

trollhandle: (AA)

maybe talks to jane about how jake keeps telling her about their relationship and asking for advice, is just like “yeah, it sucks huh”

maybe drops the LE stuff during the alpha session? still causing problems on purpose though

not very invested in the kids, mostly causing problems on the meteor

she gets knocked out before she can doom the timeline, porrim (shes her main friend and also mom stuff) carries her to the door with the group. damara wakes up already locked in the meteor. maybe scratch messages her and tells her she failed and is also like really creepy like always. and then she watches jane stuff and is just like. yeah no this is the worst

jane and damara parallels. they are there

arc: recognize that others have gone through same stuff as her (jane), reject le, tell rufioh to knock it off (probably remain friends after that)(roxy helps), doesn’t have to forgive everyone else for their treatment of her if she doesn’t want to

rufioh:

trollhandle: (TA)

something something dirkjake parallels

dude’s a mess

mituna:

trollhandle: (AT)

actually stands up to cronus

still dubiously godtier

kurloz

trollhandle: (CT)

the stuff kurloz is involved in relates to see no evil (mituna) hear no evil (meulin) speak no evil (kurloz) but according to fridgestuck theres a fourth that's sometimes smell no evil (latula).

also caused cronus’s rejection of magic and belief in the prophecy

meulin and mituna friendship arc

something something kurloz is in charge of black ships and the conflict resolution quadrant is a black ship and kurloz is actively sabotaging them and maybe this is why they can't fix any of their problems at some point we gotta figure out what to do with him

roxy probably suspects somethings up with him (close to meulin and would recognize that she seems forgetful after seeing him, batterwitch), would probably be frustrated that meulin doesn’t believe her but would find ways to keep her away from him

crisis of faith when interacting with humans, leads to him ditching clown religion. no idea where that goes from there

someone figures out the mind control and other stuff, meulin, mituna, and cronus can decide if they forgive him or not

cronus

trollhandle: (AC)

roxy has a conversation with cronus, its bad

he literally JUST dropped the wizard act within the last year or so, so seeing her wizard stuff he probably makes fun of her or something

hates jake because he’s the hero of hope that might take over his place in the prophecies he felt entitled to

jake messes with him about human culture like the “telling caliborn what gay means” thing

leads to him losing ALL hope, leading to mituna fight

cronus hits on all of them and brings up the fact he is humankin a lot

gets the idea to be humankin from watching the timelines, was probably still doing the wizard thing until that moment, or had picked up a different persona in the session and switched to human then

arc: downward spiral from hopelessness (jake), become somewhat less of an asshole

beta humans

stuck in a void session for 6 years

in communication with the cherubs

egbert:

sprite:

 pre-retcon: ?? + ??

post-retcon: meulin + dirksprite (after reunion)

acting like there are no problems while actively looking at many problems

june realization at some point

rose:

sprite:

pre-retcon: ?? + ??

post-retcon: roxy + frigglishsprite (after reunion)

having a crisis about relevance

is painfully aware that this session is basically set up to make them lose their minds

drinking arc (mom’s alcohol in house)

dave:

sprite: crow + doomed dave

plays with time loops a little but realizes he’s making eternity even longer so stops unless necessary

still does a lot of reflection about bro since he'd still be around people who care about him

coming out: rose knows pre-game but they probably never officially told each other. maybe he tells her in like year 1 or 2. but he doesn't come out to the others until he's like 17 at least probably. davesprite too

at some point he grows out his hair really long, but it’s totally not to look like nic cage so a certain someone who loves nic cage might be interested who would do that

(crushing big time on egbert)

jade:

sprite: bec + dream jade

happy to be around her friends and not trapped on an island, but she is also super frustrated that it isn't like what she saw in her dreams

first one to snap after keeping her frustration bottled up. after that, rose sets a rule that they have to be honest to avoid more of that. (obviously they don’t stick to that very well)

i guess she godtiers at some point to be dog

cherubs

calliope:

friendly to all of them

probably just similar to how she was to the alphas

(she probably still has to die 🙁)

they will save her

caliborn:

jeers dave the most

is upset that he is not like alpha male

kickstarts dave’s de-masculinity stuff

asks dave for art of his friends

dave just changes the colors of the making this happen picture

platonically hates all of them. if he does the "you're attractive and ugly" thing like with jane, that's at jade

egbert really hates his art

similar to the alphas, mostly focuses on the boys and avoids/is creepy to the girls. probably pissed about june stuff cus he sucks

[jojotier]

in the spy au... what is the most fucked up romantic drama you speak of

OH BOY is it a DOOZY

so here's the thing about the spy au. because almost everyone has a secret identity it turns what might've been a love triangle or love trapezoid into a love dohexahedra. to give a very simple summary

DR ROSE-NOELLE (formerly Rose Lalonde, secretly Agent Cestus) is currently infiltrating the prestigious Prospitian Yellow Yard private school system, where she meets LADY FISHER (secretly Feferi, the runaway new ruler of Derse), a well-established Prospitian socialite who appears to have dirt and some vendetta against Crocker, leading to Rose deciding to seduce her, which leads to Unintended Feelings but--

OH NO! Rose is ALSO crushing on the cute tailor up the street, Kanaya Maryam! But alas, it's a crush she must let go of, since Kanaya is a Civilian (she isn't) and also holding Amorous Affection toward the offputting local librarian, Ms Vriska! And they're starting to date! Thankfully, she can take her mind off of it by trying to keep her newest mission alive, but alas! That also leads to Unexpected Feelings! How was she supposed to know that Agent Arachnid (secretly Vriska) could be strangely charming in a bitey, pathetic way while she's trying not to die by the Prospitian bounty hunter Auxiliatrix's (secretly Kanaya's) hand! And then Agent Cestus (Rose) has to contend with the fact that these may be the beginning sparks of Jealousy, seeing how Agent Arachnid and Auxiliatrix dance around each other, as if Arachnid doesn't want the game to end just yet...

Meanwhile Auxiliatrix wants desperately to just kill this fool Agent Arachnid because she's been so sleep deprived during her dates with her darling Vriska during the day! But then Agent Cestus appears to make things even harder, but Auxiliatrix can't help but find her strangely alluring... an intellectual equal...... it reminds her of the old flame who gave her the mission in the first place........ an old flame which seems on the verge of rekindling as Agent Gallows (secretly Terezi) becomes more and more vulnerable about her previous relationship with the rogue Agent Arachnid! But every time Kanaya feels she's getting close, Agent Gallows pulls away

and Terezi makes at least a cursory glance at trying to make Karkat fall in love with her, but that ship's long since sailed, and even if they were together, there's no way he'd ever give up the true identities of all of his contacts. Shame! Well, at least there's this cute comic artist/mail girl who comes around, who even indulges Terezi whenever she wants to do roleplay! Nepeta's sweet, lovable, and a Civilian (she's not)- so maybe some normalcy is what Terezi's thinking she craves... meanwhile Nepeta (secretly Dersite Agent Arsenic) sees Terezi flirting and becomes conflicted... because she's been exchanging letters with Agent Gallows of the Prospitian side for a while now, even outsie of the work correspondence, and she thinks she might be in love with her! But oh no! Does she also like Terezi.....??

But she doesn't have time to dwell on it, because Equius (alias Charon, the Dersite death machine builder) is falling in love, and the poor dude needs all the help he can get! His feelings for that weirdo arms dealer Mr. Angelo (secretly Eridan, Feferi's right hand) still confuses the hell out of her, but there seems to be some more tension that he isn't saying.... And Charon, looking over the perfectly edited autopsy reports he's received from the ghostly mortician A, able to even determine the cause of a robot's demise, sends his heart aflutter.... and besides, Mr. Angelo is a civilian, and a higher-ranking one at that... and the telegrams from Eridan Ampora have been really getting under his skin, making it so hard to have time alone!

Mr. Angelo meanwhile sees Dr Rose-Noelle as his rival in love to Lady Fisher, until he starts suspecting that she might ACTUALLY be Feferi, but he doesn't want to Outright Accuse because the consequences of getting it wrong are politically pretty fucking dire, so as his investigation shifts his amorous affections begin to shift toward Dr. Rose-Noelle... which is a fantastic distraction, since Agent Cestus has been a Right Pain in his ass, not getting Agent Arachnid out of Auxiliatrix's way fast enough for his tastes.......

and that's not even getting into TurnTech (secretly Dave) falling for Dr. Harley (secretly Jade) while Jade pines after Dr Rose-Noelle, and Dave also falling for John, who's secret identity is a comedian and therefore does not enter the equation.

It ALSO doesn't even start to get into TA (secretly Sollux) and Pastor's (gee Sollux, why do you get two secret identities) mobius double poly reacharound between Lady Fisher, Mr. Angelo, Aradia, Mortician A, and the heiress Feferi or Tavros crushing on the librarian Vriska while Agent Arachnid had a little fling with the informant Toreados or also like multiple people having a crush on Karkat at some point. this is just everything i could get down before i ran out of steam ghbjkjn

[outer-spec]

OCtober 2024 Day 10: Personality

(holy shit how the fuck did i forget to post anything for like six whole days??!? i totally missed some of the mandatory days too, i feel so dumb. i was so excited about doing this challenge this month but i was so busy with schoolwork i completely forgot 🤦 anyway days 5 and 6 are under the cut because i did do those i just never posted them on time)

Steve β

stupid

insensitive (but in like. an endearing way)

insecure

selfish

hesitant / anxious

Juno β

quiet

determined

conflicted

Tora β

bitchy (but in like. a cool way)

argumentative & petty

secretly really sensitive but refuses to admit it

vengeful

reckless

Neil β

silly

sensitive

optimistic

Steve α

silly

evil and sadistic

petty

stupid (but hates when people point it out)

insecure

Juno α

mysterious

quiet

domineering

Tora α

power-hungry

cruel & evil

domineering

Neil α

vengeful

pessimistic

conflicted

misc. ocs

Dr. Moss: friendly, grandfatherly, shameless

Terry: silly, morally dubious, insensitive, unhinged

Keith: anxious, friendly, shy

False Human: vengeful, sensitive, brave

The Girl: quiet, introverted, friendly, determinated

Atto: awkward, silly, flawed

Code: shy, exhausted, calm

Guro: extroverted, unfiltered, edgy

OCtober is by @bweirdart

OCtober 2024 Day 5: Re-Designed OC

ok when i first made Tora her name wasnt even Tora. and she wasn't even an oc. she was supposed to be like. an anthro GLaDOS fused with Vriska. (VriskOS?) She was a really smug evil & manipulative girlboss, and she had silver hair. but now shes a petty insecure antihero girlfailure. shes not like Vriska at all, more like a combination of Karkat and Asuka. however her friends still call her a vriska kinnie as a joke, and she hates it when they do that.

OCtober 2024 ⭐ Day 6: Past

Obviously, my ocs all looked like child versions of themselves as a child

my hexagon ocs:

Most of the characters are American, but Steve is from the UK. Specifically, he's from Bristol because that's where the guy he's based off of is from.

Steve dropped out of college and moved to America, because he heard they had less taxes there.

Juno was born in America, but her parents are Japanese and Brazilian.

I think of Steve and Tora as trans (FTM and MTF respectively), but this isn't really something that comes up in the actual story much. So their child selves would have looked like the opposite gender as they are right now, probably.

Tora probably would have transitioned super young, but because of her tomboyish fashion sense at the time, she didn't look very different after her transition.

Steve probably wouldn't have realized he was trans until much later, maybe around high school (or whatever they call high school in the uk). He had a ton of dysphoria as a teen, but assumed it was just Freudian penis envy, because he just seems to me like the type of dumbass who would think penis envy is real.

One time I had to draw child versions of them, but I wasn't sure which genders to draw them as, so I gave them androgynous hairstyles. I think it suits them.

Neil is a robot, so he's only about a few years old. He doesn't really have a "childhood", but he is less naïve as he was when he first got built.

Tora has a complicated relationship with her parents. Her dad was a good dad, but her mom was a bad mom, and Tora feels like her dad didn't do enough to protect her from her mom.

Steve mostly has a good relationship with his parents, but they are immature and have a tendency to talk over him. 

Maybe that's why Steve is so talkative, because he had to talk a lot to get a word in edgewise. First ever only child to get youngest child syndrome  

They're nice people, but they have a lot weird, oddly specific beliefs that they will reference in casual conversation like it's common knowledge:

Juno: Steve, are you religious? Steve: No, not particularly... Steve: Although, one time my dad said that the Rapture already happened in 1971, but the only person who went was D.B. Cooper. Juno: ...what?? Neil: No, wait, let's hear him out.

[kingofdersecest-2]

what do you think about gamzee makara do you have any thoughts on gamzee makara. holds a microphone very close to your mouth

Ah the funny clown man. Like a lot of characters, he went down the shitter, but lets take it from the top, shall we? Gamzee stood out as the only other docile Highblood aside from Feferi. Both Vriska and Eridan openly practiced their highblood murderous instincts and Equius expressed it through fighting robots rather then other trolls. Its not really clear why Feferi was gentle, other then sheer fucking willpower, I suppose. So why then was Gamzee like that? Well troll drugs of course! Soper slime makes you high like weed! Funny joke! And that was Gamzee's whole sctick for awhile, he was a stoner. However, we would see a glimpse of his true nature. Karkat mentions that Gamzee's attack was the most devestating to the 12x Prototype Black king and was most likely why they won. An easily missed little tidbit, a slip of the mask as it were. The true nature of Gamzee would arise when the soper ran out and his rage was kindled, killing Equius and Nepeta. This was the highest stakes Homestuck ever had, characters were dying, of course the dream bubbles hadnt yet been made into a thing, so we didnt know that dying was entirely pointless but it still held a lot of tension at the time. More then Jack or Lord English, ole Gamzee here was a real threat because we had spent time with him. So what happened? The ole shoosh pap. Uh....sure ok? But the shoosh pap did not completely clear his malevolent air, as he hid in the vents and secretly met with Kurloz to do nefarious deeds like....make a cod peace. Sure. Then we began the question of "Is Gamzee Godtier and therefore immortal?" and the answer was....whatever was funnier at the time. He was back to being a funny clown man! Hopping between timelines, helping Caliborn and the Alpha kids out! Selling blood to Jane! ha ha! Then Game Over happened. And boy did it happen. Back to being an antagonist, he killed karkat before being killed by Kanaya. Then we had the Vriska Retcon, and hey Gamzee was literally fridged and did no harm to anyone. And then HS2 happened. And man, did it happen. So Gamzee is back, and he's talking about a redemption arc, all the while saying "My ninja" which of course is code for "My nigga" because why not make all those things people said about Gamzee being a black stoner true! Ha ha, so progressive! And with Gamzee being black, that means the weird Cuck thing he has with Jane is technically BBC cucking. Im not saying that Jane is a Snowbunny/Queen of Spades, but I mean, the HS2 writers are maybe saying that! Also! He's implied to be inappropriate with Jane's son, Tavros! So lets make him a pedophile to boot! And then of course he gets chocked out by Vriska and her and Vrissy hang out, laying on his corpse, because.....???????????????????????? Yeah, funny clown man. Ugh, he was an interesting antagonist for a minute there, and then fell down the writing hole and became just The Worst(TM)

[pesterloglog]

Latula Pyrope, Meenah Peixes, Kankri Vantas, Porrim Maryam, Aradiabot, Vriska Serket, Sollux Captor, Aradia Megido, Equius Zahhak, Mituna Captor, Kurloz Makara, Cronus Ampora, Feferi Peixes, Meulin Leijon, Nepeta Leijon, Eridan Ampora, Rufioh Nitram, Damara Megido, Horuss Zahhak, Karkat Vantas, Tavros Nitram, Gamzee Makara, Terezi Pyrope

Act 6, page 5427

LATULA: wooooo, 4w y34h grlz, h34rd you w3r3 st4rt1ng 4 p4rty ov3r h3r3??? >XD

MEENAH: no its not a party its...

KANKRI: Hm. I see s9me9ne has ch9sen t9 dress as a pirate f9r this party, in spite 9f the negative ass9ciati9ns that the 9ld marauding classes have with vi9lent a6use, 9ppressi9n, n9t even t9 mention

MEENAH: ARRRRRGH DUD-E GTFO

LATULA: yo porr1m! n1c3 costum3! w4y to ch4ng3 1nto someth1ng on such short not1ce. H1 F1V3!!!!

PORRIM: What? No+, this isn't a co+stume. It's just what I was wearing. I came o+ver here to+ see what all the co+mmo+ti+n was about.

LATULA: d4mn grl you just look1ng f1n3 for th3 h3ll of 1t th3n! GRL POW3R!!!

PORRIM: Uh... sure. So+ this is a party? So+unds like fun!

MEENAH: no its not a party gfd 38(

ARADIABOT: lets annihilate them

ARADIABOT: yes lets. i am in the m00d t0 ruin s0meb0dy

VRISKA: Right on! I knew I could count on you crazy metal 8roads for some mayhem.

SOLLUX: hey aradia, uh... y0ur rob0 clones l0ok like they're ab0ut to flip the fuck 0ut. they're making me nervous, eheheh. can you try talking s0me sense into them?

ARADIA: sorry sollux my robotic duplicates have always been free agents totally exempt from my influence and better judgement

ARADIA: equius do you think you can calm them down?

EQUIUS: D --> They are pernickety devices

EQUIUS: D --> Often sweat seeps into their circuitry and causes them to behave more erratically

EQUIUS: D --> Which unfortunately only causes me to sweat even more profusely, I am afraid

ARADIA: equius weve never talked about it but im not sure how comfortable i am with you um... courting such a great plurality of my mechanical doubles

EQUIUS: D --> On a scale of 1 to 100, how depraved would you say you find my behavior?

EQUIUS: D --> (please be 100, please be 100...)

ARADIA: i never should have kissed you that time it was such a mistake :(

EQUIUS: D --> (I NEED A TOWEL)

EQUIUS: D --> (A NEW ONE I MEAN)

MITUNA: HA7H 4NYW0NG 533N MY H4ML37

KURLOZ: :o)

MITUNA: 000H WH04 N1C3 C057UM3 8UDDY

KURLOZ: :o)

CRONUS: (be quiet. by saying anything youre really making a horrible impression on people we should be trying to impress here.)

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY

CRONUS: (ill forgivwe you, but this is the last time i evwer do. im at my vwits end with you.)

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY PL3453 PL3453 F04G1V3 M3 4G4IN

FEFERI: GLUB! (whoops, i mean glub. oh gosh, it's my ancestor!)

FEFERI: (i'm so nervous, i can't let her notice me. she's so unbubbleivably cool! *swoonami*)

MEENAH: (ah snap its my ancestor. wish i didnt notice her)

MEENAH: (must... suppress... urge... to murder her for royal supremacy omg)

MEULIN: (^·ω·^) < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

NEPETA: :33 < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

MEULIN: (^·o·^)/ < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

NEPETA: :33 < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

MEULIN: (=^ω^=) < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

ERIDAN: wwhoa man could you maybe stop bumpin me wwith your codpiece

CRONUS: sorry chief, honest misake. so are you doing anything later?

ERIDAN: wwait are you actually seriously hittin on me

ERIDAN: wwoww dude evven i think youre trash

CRONUS: im a cool enough cat if you get to know me. you didnt ansvwer the question.

ERIDAN: sigh fine lets go out on a date i guess. flippin amazin this tragic scenarios wwhat i been reduced to

MEENAH: H-EY! everyone stay on the right goddamn sides. cronus im lookin at you

VRISKA: Yeah! Nepeta, 8ack in line. You people need to start taking this 8rawl more seriously.

RUFIOH: yo my gangstas! d1d 1 hear you were go1ng off to f1ght a ghost k1ll1ng demon...

RUFIOH: m1nd 1f 1 tag along... 1've been hop1ng for a chance to put an end to my cruel joke of an ex1stence... haha... bangarang.

VRISKA: Hell yes! On this team I have a MAJOR need for expenda8le people.

MEULIN: (^·o·^) HORSEBODY!RUFIOH, DON'T BE SUCH A DOWNER! DIDN'T YOU GET THE MEOWMO? THIS IS NOT A CATFIGHT, IT'S A COSTUME PURRTY!!!

MEENAH: no no it really is a catfight. or i mean a regular fight... urrgh

KANKRI: Meulin, it w9uld 6e great if y9u didn't use this party as a platf9rm t9 engage in suicide shaming. I think Rufi9h is triggered en9ugh as it is having t9 live with the hein9us 69dy 9f a metal h9rse.

DAMARA: これは何? ハロウィーンの乱交? [What is this? A Halloween orgy?]

VRISKA: Are you fuckers deaf???????? This 8n't a party!

MEULIN: (^._.^) ...

PORRIM: Ho+rrus, yo+ur o+utfit lo+o+ks nice, but so+rry to+ say it was a false alarm. It's no+t a co+ stume party.

HORUSS: 8=D < This isn't a costume. I am literally a majestic stallion, and my appearance refle% this noble reality.

PORRIM: Ah. Go+tcha. Hey guys, can I be o+n the o+ther team?

KANAYA: Yes!

MEENAH: no!!!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: THIS GATHERING HAS COMPLETELY BLOWN AWAY MY ABILITY TO TOLERATE STUPIDITY AND AWFULNESS. GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

KARKAT: GOD DAMN IT. THE CROWD IS GETTING TOO THICK, I CAN'T EVEN GET AWAY FROM THIS SHIT. EVERYBODY FUCKING MOVE!!!

TAVROS: eXCUSE ME, oTHER PEOPLE,

TAVROS: wHO ARE ME, aND OTHERWISE,

GAMZEE: honk.

TAVROS: hAVE YOU SEEN, a BEAUTIFUL TREASURE ON THE FLOOR,

TAVROS: tHAT IS MORE SPECIFICALLY A RING,

TEREZI: K4RK4T, SHUT UP, TH1S 1S GR34T!

TEREZI: W3 N33D TO G3T MOR3 P3OPL3 J4MM3D 1NTO TH1S SW33T F1GHTP4RTY M4SQU3R4D3! >:]

[canoncallings]

hey im dave strider from homestuck and i dunno what im doing here really. im not exactly sure how old i am but i know im at least 16 or 17 cause i remember finishing the game and stuff. dont quote me on that

anyway i dont care who interacts really. a rose or a karkat would be nice or maybe a john idk it doesnt matter to me

so im like 5'10 and pale as fuck. not like full on albino though im a cute blonde. i got a dope as hell scar on my eye and then two on the other side of my face. one on my lip and cheek

theres a few pretty big differences and defining things about my canon so ill list them out here

so first of all the vriska that i remember had her freaky eye intact and working but that whole side of her face was scarred pretty bad and was slightly blue. she had a badass robot arm and was always hanging around terezi

jade and davesprite could visit the meteor sometimes but they stopped after shit went down with me and jade. also john was dead

karkat hates the clown. theres a whole thing about that but shit went down between those two on the meteor but karkat stayed in the weird alien diamonds with him until shit also went down between me and the clown and karkat finally left him. the clown was never seen again after that

i remember one time with rose i said some shit about my bro in passing and she just froze and went total deadpan. and she turned to look at me and the look on her face was fucking priceless. absolutely hilarious. she looked absolutely shocked and concerned and was all like 'how have i not heard about this'

after the game i remember rose and kanayas wedding night specifically most of us got all trickstered out and i scared karkat away and stuff so i had to crash with dirk and it was definitely. something i guess

anyway this is getting ridiculously long. if this is familiar then just shoot me a message or send an ask here @davescanon

Anonymous asked:

oh also im the dave with the long ask. i forgot to say im a fictive

[nutzworth]

my self indulgent dirk strider yaoi rating cus its MY blog and i get to have this 1 post okay. leave now or forever hold your peace

dirkjake is a 9/10, obviously. it rocks. they cant ever leave each other theyre destined. 1 point off for being so terribly developed in canon but can you really blame hussie i mean he probably is allergic to real actual demonstrations of romance in his writing. dirkjohn is a 2/10 they would hate each other i cannot see them bonding in any natural way. i think john would think dirk is such a freak and like a more annoying rose. and dirk hates how uncaring john is hes like what the hell? what do you mean you dont care? get up. fight me. you know? theyd have 1 conversation at dave striders birthday and john would come out of it like "huh. weird guy. what a loser lol" and dirk would be like "Fuck. Fuck. Daves best friend hates me. Im such a freak. I need to kill msyelf now" dirkquius is a 7/10 i like it though its obviously not feasible in any canon universe. thats okay though. theyre so similar but equius is enough of a freak that dirk is like okay... whats going on here..... and equius is like :-) i love to fight and make robot :-) i love horse dirkuu is a 9/10 too i love dirkuu. its implausible in canon which is why its my second fav but it is SO funny. read house of dirk everypony. guy who sucks really bad x guy who sucks really bad (differently). caliborns so funny with anyone and its awesome that caliborn LIKES dirk. and it shows in canon dirk x any other homestuck character probably a 0-3/10 depending. like dirk and karkat fine whatever sure theyre so incredibly inlaws but whatever but dirk and jade is a soooolid no. dirk and cronus is funny (both same age). dirkjane is funny too but for different reasons + theyre so friends dirk x other chars outside of homestuck 8/10 im sooo biased teehee. dirk x benrey rocks i see it sometimes and it rocks. i have a lot of dirk x my friends ocs and those are always fun. dirks not destined for any ocs though so it gets off a point from dirkjake

thanks everyone im all done. i have a lot of ship thoughts always