#KAI Commuter

[holopiscom]

Kartu Multi Trip Kini Bisa Digunakan di Loko Café Dapat Diskon 10%

JAKARTA – Dalam langkah inovatif terbaru, KAI Commuter dan KAI Services bekerja sama untuk integrasi transaksi pembayaran menggunakan Kartu Multi Trip (KMT) di Loko Café. Mulai 24 Februari 2025, pengguna KMT dapat menikmati kemudahan transaksi pembayaran di berbagai lokasi Loko Café yang dikelola oleh KAI Services. KMT, uang elektronik terkemuka yang diterbitkan oleh KAI Commuter, memudahkan…

[fyexo]

kaiheart | do not edit.

[mugenmanglayangid]

Innalilahi wa Innailaihi Rojiun, Kami mengucapkan Turut Berdukacita atas musibah kecelakaan KA 350 (Commuter Line Bandung Raya) dan KA 65 (Turangga) pagi tadi di Tiber Cicalengka Kabupaten Bandung.

Terkhusus 4 kru yakni Sdr. Julian Dwi Setiyono (masinis KA 350), Sdr. Ponisam (asisten masinis KA 350), Sdr. Ardiansyah (Prama KA 65), dan Sdr. Enjang Yudi (PAM Cimekar) Semoga Amal Ibadahnya Diterima di Sisi Alloh Ta'ala, Keluarga yang ditinggalkan diberi kekuatan dan ketabahan

Syafakallohu ....

[honeypiehotchner]

The Gambit (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- part eleven

Back to our regularly scheduled chaos 🫶🏻

Warnings: angst, reader is just really down on herself in this one sorry guys, Hotch being so strangely sweet for once, but then Hotch being down on himself (these two are a fucking wreck i wish they'd just TALK IT OUT)

Hotch doesn’t give you the day off after this case, but when you walk into the bullpen the next morning, you wish he had. For no particular reason other than you weren’t able to sleep, and dread seems to have made a home in your bones overnight.

And, of course, everyone notices.

“Oh,” Penelope’s frown looks out of place among her bright outfit. You hate that you’re making her frown. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you reply instantly, flashing her a smile. “Just exhausted.”

She doesn’t seem too satisfied with your answer, but wraps you in a hug all the same. “If you need anything, come see me. Okay?”

You squeeze her tightly. “Thanks, Pen.”

She pulls back and lightly pats your cheek. “Anytime.”

Morgan comes sauntering over with his coffee, eyeing you both cautiously. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Nope,” Garcia saves you the grief, turning to rest her hand on Morgan’s shoulder. “Just telling her to come bug me when you guys start boring her to death.”

Derek laughs. “Riiight.”

Garcia heads back to her office with a flourish, something about needing to do her own paperwork to justify all the hacking she did for this last case. You dump your things down at your desk with a sigh.

You try to discreetly look up into Hotch’s office to see if he’s here. When you glance back at Morgan, you see he’s caught you red-handed. 

“Looking for someone?” he smirks.

You roll your eyes, busying yourself with putting your things away. “Is Hotch in yet?”

“Not yet, we’re the early birds today,” Morgan says, propping himself on your desk like he belongs there. “Why?”

I’m trying to avoid him at all costs, why else? “Just curious.”

Morgan hums. “Alright. Well, no, he said he was taking Jack to school this morning, so he’d be in late. You would know that if you didn’t put yourself in time out on the jet yesterday.”

You roll your eyes.

“I’m gonna start up that tally again,” Morgan jokes.

“Be my guest,” you mutter through a small smile.

Morgan goes quiet and that scares you, because you know exactly what’s coming next. Goodbye Joking Friend Morgan, hello Serious Big Brother Derek.

“Hey,” he says, leaning toward you. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

You nod. If only everyone who says that knew that you can’t. “Yeah. I know.”

“‘Kay. Good.” Derek nods as he slides off your desk, returning to his own and leaving you alone.

Reid whirls into the BAU next, nose in a book, nearly taking himself out when he stumbles into Morgan’s desk. So, a typical morning for him.

JJ and Emily come in next, coffees in hand, having run into each other again on their morning commute.

Rossi next, stopping by your desk to ask how you’re doing. He doesn’t press when you say you’re fine and heads up to his office, leaving you alone.

Then, there’s Hotch, who comes in with his phone pressed to his ear, a frown on his face. He doesn’t even glance toward the center of the bullpen as he practically floats up the stairs into his office, shutting the door.

You share looks with the rest of the team. Reid grimaces. He must’ve read his lips through the office window. He goes back to his book without saying anything.

You return to your paperwork, scanning the text. It’s necessary, and you know why you have to do it, but that doesn’t make any of it less boring.

Next to you, Emily leans back in her chair. “You should join us for coffee tomorrow before work.”

You lift your head, your eyes slowly trailing over to her to make sure she’s talking to you. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she smiles. “JJ and I always end up at the same place, we should get there a little early and have breakfast.”

“Uh, hello?” Morgan pipes up, pointing his pencil between himself and Reid. “What about us?”

Emily inhales sharply through her grin. “Sorry, girls only.”

“Alright, I see how it is,” Morgan laughs. He turns to Reid. “Hey kid, wanna get coffee tomorrow?”

“Why?” Reid asks without looking up. “The BAU has free coffee.”

Morgan sighs. “You’re not helping.”

Reid still doesn’t look up, but his lips stretch in that little smirk he always gets when he pushes Morgan’s buttons just for fun.

You turn back to Emily. “I’d love to. Where?”

She lists off the name of the cafe and then pauses, “Oh my god, I need to add you to the group chat.”

“Group chat?” Reid looks up this time. “You guys have a group chat?”

“Girls only,” Emily says again, looking down at her phone.

“Is Garcia in it?” Morgan asks.

“Duh,” Emily replies. “There.”

Your phone buzzes. Emily added you to Women Only. You snort. “Thanks.”

Garcia sends a few hearts and other emojis when she sees you’ve been added to the chat. You laugh quietly before returning to your paperwork, even though you’ve read the same line probably fifty times by now. 

The conversation carries on around you, with Reid even chiming in here and there, but you’re mostly silent. You know it’s unlike you, so you figure it’s a matter of time before one of the profilers calls you out for it.

But they don’t, because they don’t get a chance to.

Hotch calls your name from the second level. You lift your head, eyebrows raising. You find him standing just in the doorway to his office, nodding his head for you to come up.

Just great. Great.

You’re too tired to offer any protests, so you stand immediately, taking your lukewarm coffee with you as you head up the stairs. You don’t need to glance down at the bullpen to know the team’s eyes are on you.

Hotch seems to notice, too, because when you walk into his office, he draws the blinds.

You freeze in the doorway. This can’t be good, if he’s purposefully trying to prevent Reid from lipreading. He normally doesn’t bother.

“Come in,” he says quietly, rounding his desk. “Sit, please.”

You’re being fired. You’re sure of it.

Still, you shut the door, eyeing him warily as you sit across from him. You place your coffee on his desk so you can clasp your hands together.

“So?”

Hotch tilts his head. “So?”

“What’s the reasoning?” you ask. “I’m assuming I’m being transferred or terminated, whatever we’re calling it these days.”

If you aren’t mistaken, his expression seems to soften. Just barely. “I’m not firing you.”

You sit back. “Oh.”

“Why would you think I’m firing you?”

“Why would I not?” you shrug. “We don’t get along, I’ve done nothing but cause problems — that I will admit—”

“Stop,” Hotch almost looks pained as he cuts you off. “Stop. You’re not causing problems by being here.”

You stare at him tiredly. “You know I hate it when you lie to my face.”

“I’ve never lied to you,” he replies, just as tired. “And I’m not lying now.”

You’re not convinced of either of those things. “Okay.”

He sighs, leaning onto his elbows on his desk. “I know we don’t…get along, as you said, but you are a valuable asset to this team.”

“Hotch, my first two cases, both unsubs have gotten away.”

“Is that what this is about?”

You don’t know. You don’t know what any of this is about. “I guess. Look— I’m just not on top of it today. I’m tired.”

“Do you need to go home?”

You glare at him. “No. I said I’m tired, not that I can’t work.”

“Just clarifying,” he mutters, leaning back in his chair to study you. 

It makes you shift uncomfortably in your seat. You hate the way he looks at you, like he knows something about you that you don’t know yet — or that you don’t want to know. Because knowing him, he’ll say it out loud, and then you’ll have to deal with it, and you don’t want to.

You think for a fleeting, terrifying moment that maybe Rossi told him about your father, but Rossi wouldn’t. Right?

“It’s not your fault,” he starts, but he keeps his eyes trained on his desk. “That the unsubs have gotten away. We got Lila back home safely, and that counts for something.”

You hum, uncertain.

“We don’t always catch the unsub,” Hotch continues. “We help where we can, and sometimes that has to be enough.”

“It’s not, though,” you shake your head slowly. “It’s not enough.” You look over at him, that anger still simmering like always. You’re tired, but it doesn’t take much for it to spike again. “I still don’t think we should’ve left them.”

“I did what I thought was right and I stand by—”

“What if it was wrong?”

“I’m not going to sit here and argue what if’s with you,” Hotch snaps, voice firm and tone final. “I don’t have to explain my decisions to you.”

“No,” you reply, pushing yourself to stand up. “But you could at least act like you care about your team’s opinion of you.”

You get to the door before you pause, eyeing the closed blinds. You turn around as you cross your arms over your chest.

“What was it you actually called me in here for?”

Hotch barely shrugs. “I just wanted to check in with you after the conversation we had yesterday.”

You roll your eyes. Highly unlikely that that’s the only thing, but fine. “Sure.”

Hotch sighs tiredly. “Here we go,” he says under his breath.

Might as well tease him. “Just saying,” you give him a wicked look.“You better be careful. Kinda starting to make me think you like me or something.”

He scowls at you. “Go back to work.”

You’re laughing as you leave his office.

+++

Hotch stares at your coffee on the edge of his desk. You forgot to take it with you. He could call you back in here to get it. Or let it get cold and get rid of it later. Or he could take it to you.

He needs a fresh cup anyway.

He grabs his mug in one hand, yours in the other, and heads out of his office. You’re already back at your desk, laughing at something Prentiss said. Hotch feels the corners of his lips trying to tug upward, listening to your laughter. He doesn’t hear it often, especially not like this. Carefree and light. He’s used to the sarcastic, condescending laughter that you usually give him. 

His frown returns with that thought. He’ll never be the cause of this kind of laughter from you. Not as long as you seem to have him at the top of your shit list. It’s been a decade, so he doesn’t expect that to change.

Shaking the thoughts away, he heads down the stairs to drop your mug off on your desk with a silent, “You left this,” like he did with your jacket just over a week ago.

He doesn’t hear you say anything as he strides past you and everyone else to the coffee machine at the edge of the bullpen. 

Hotch loves his team for many things. Their subtlety is not one of them.

He can hear them whispering, all trying to figure out what you and him discussed and why the blinds had to be drawn. None of them believe you when you say it was nothing.

For what Hotch had originally planned, yes, the blinds needed to be drawn. He wanted privacy to ask you about your father.

But how was he supposed to bring up your father when your first thought was that you were being fired? When your first thought is that you’re doing more harm than good by being here?

Regardless of how much pleasure you seem to find in pushing his buttons, he couldn’t let a member of his team go without addressing those kinds of thoughts. You’re a valuable addition to this team. If you weren’t, you never would’ve been hired by Strauss, let alone by him.

It’s bad luck, sure, that these last two cases haven’t ended the way they’d like. But that’s no one’s fault, and certainly not yours alone. It just happens. They can’t save everyone, solve every case quickly and easily. Nothing is neat and tied in a bow in this field. He needs you to understand that. Because if you don’t, you won’t survive. 

And he needs you to survive.

Hotch turns around to head back to his office, pausing to raise an eyebrow when his team scrambles cartoon-style to “act natural” — as if he has no clue they weren’t watching him.

He loves this team, he does. He shakes his head as he walks around them.

He feels your eyes on him, though, as he ascends the stairs. He glances down at you and you avert your eyes masterfully. If he didn’t know you so well, he wouldn’t have known you were watching him.

Hotch is too busy looking at you to notice Rossi has stepped out of his own office, and the older man gives Hotch an equally skeptical look when Hotch nearly crashes into him.

Rossi follows Hotch into his office, shutting the door behind him.

“What’s with all the secrecy today?” Rossi asks, gesturing to the closed blinds, tugging one down with a smirk as he makes eye contact with Prentiss. He lets it snap back into place.

“Nothing,” Hotch replies, settling back down at his desk. “You can open them.”

Rossi doesn’t.

Instead, he stands in front of Aaron’s desk, hands shoved in his pockets. “Did you tell her?”

“She’s still here, so obviously I didn’t,” Hotch mutters, looking up at his friend. “Why?”

“Just curious,” Rossi says, turning to open the blinds.

Unsurprisingly, the entire team, except for you, is caught in their attempted eavesdropping. Rossi laughs as he turns back around to face Aaron.

“Warn me before you do? I’d like some time to prepare to get out of here before you get a chair thrown in your face,” Rossi says.

Hotch stares at him. A chair will be the least of his worries when he eventually confronts you.

His eyes flick to you down in the bullpen, focused and content, swatting Morgan away when he tries to toss balls of paper at your head. Hotch doesn’t want to ruin this, the joy you’ve found here. 

But ever since the first day you met, that’s all Hotch has known how to do. Say the wrong thing and make you hate him. Over and over. 

It’s no wonder you push his buttons so much and fight so hard to get under his skin. It’s not like he can’t understand. It’s a vicious cycle with the two of you, and there’s no way out.

At least not one where no one gets hurt.

[melancholiaincarnate]

i love him, he loves me, and this i know

「 in which ᵎᵎ 」 you're sick, and your boyfriend takes care of you.

「 words ᵎᵎ 」 663

「 author's note ᵎᵎ 」 this was a request from anon :0 maybe geto doing your hair? I love your writing keep up the good work! thank u anon :D in honor of me also being incredibly fucking sick, here is geto taking care of you while you're sick :P fem reader btw, with longer-ish hair :D

「 warnings ᵎᵎ 」 none :)

"and here's your tea, honey. i brought you some medicine as well." suguru places the items on your bedside table, helping you to sit up.

you'd caught some sort of cold, and you'd been bedridden for a couple days now. you figured you'd caught it from your commute to and from work via public transit. geto, despite your insistence that he'd also get sick, had taken it upon himself to take care of you. (he'd also used this as an opportunity to try and convince you to quit your job and let him to take care of you. you'd practically seen the smirk on his face when you told him you were sick over the phone.)

"thanks, sugu." your voice was nasally and you winced at the sound. "fuck, i sound gross." despite your ears being clogged, you could hear how raw and how your tone was deeper than suguru's.

"you still look absolutely beautiful though." he gave you a soft smile as he shook the tylenol into his hand and grabbed the tea to give to you. he tenderly placed the cup in one hand and two pills in the other. "careful, it's hot."

you grabbed it, grateful for its warmth, and you grimaced as you swallowed down the pills. "with my - gross bed head," you coughed, "and my snot everywhere?" you took a sip of the tea, your throat feeling soothed instantly. "i doubt it, sugu. ugh, i need to fix my hair and-"

"let me do your hair then." suguru hums, interrupting you. "be right back." he leaves for a second, leaving the bedroom door wide open just in case you needed something from him. he wanted to be there as soon as you needed him.

he comes back with your hairbrush, and he adjusts himself against the headboard before patting the space between his legs. you knew you had a rats nest back there and you weren't going to say no to suguru's willingness to do your hair. it was cute how quickly he sprang up to grab your hairbrush.

his hands were gentle with you, like they always were. he hummed a song while he parted your hair and ran the brush through one side. you closed your eyes, the slight tugs on your hair feeling great on your scalp.

"sorry baby, i'm sorry." suguru's voice was low in your ear as the bristles caught on a rather large knot. "i know, im sorry."

"is 'kay." you sniffled. it hurt, but not as much as it would if it were anyone else doing it. he was always gentle with you. you loved that about him.

"after this, i'm going to run you a warm bath. you're sweating out your fever." he swoops some of your hair over your left shoulder, and begins working on the other half. "which is good - i'm happy. i don't like seeing my baby all sick."

"you're so dramatic. it's just a cold, sugu." you roll your eyes, but a cough bubbles its way up your throat. you cough into your elbow, while suguru soothingly rubs your back.

you let out a little whimper at the pain in your throat and he kisses the top of your head as he finally finishes brushing your hair, and ties your hair up with a small hair tie off his wrist. whether it was yours or his, you couldn't tell, you both shared hair products often.

"you lay right here, i'll come and get you when the bath is ready." he maneuvered himself out of your way, props the pillows up behind you, and kisses your forehead as he swings off the bed. "don't even move! i'll carry you to the bathroom." he grins, gathering up some fresh pajamas and underwear for you, as well as a towel.

"i won't move, sugu." you laugh, the sound a little scratchy. "you always take such good care of me." you mumble, sighing as you lean back against the pillows.

[agustdiv1ne]

ᯓ★ TXT M.LIST

— SOOBIN

that's the spirit! — ghost hunter!sb, high school au — f ; a

a couple weeks before halloween, you find the quiet boy from your high school staring up into your bedroom. you're a little creeped out, and miles more scared, but then he tells you something that changes how you see, well, everything.

wc: 14.6k

timestamps:

~ 10:52 p.m. — college classmate!sb — f

~ 10:21 p.m. — bf!sb — m ⚠︎

~ 9:51 p.m. — serial killer!sb — m

au's:

~ cosplayer!soobin — m

+ some soft thoughts abt watching jjk w/ him

~ late night outing w/ boyfriend!soobin — f

~ first time meeting odi w/ boyfriend!soobin — f

blurbs:

~ magic island — f

— YEONJUN

home sweet home — est. relationship au — m

he was insatiable, even at your parents' house.

wc: 2.8k

candy hearts — best friends to lovers au — f ; a

spending valentine's day with your best friend had become a sort of tradition for you two ever since you were seven years old. despite the twists and turns in your friendship as both of you grew up, the one thing that never changed was the box of candy hearts that he placed in your hands every year.

wc: 10.5k

pose — model!yj, assistant!reader — f ; a ; m

being world-famous model choi yeonjun's personal assistant wasn't easy. after six months on the job, however, you'd say that you had a pretty decent grasp on it. now, with fashion month right around the corner, it was your duty to make sure everything was in order, but of course a few things didn't go as planned.

wc: 12.5k

give me more — est. relationship au — m ⚠︎

your boyfriend loves making you feel good...perhaps a little too much.

wc: 1k

ticket to nowhere (but your heart) — strangers to lovers au, photographer!yj, artist!reader — f ; a ; m ⚠︎

twelve days. twelve days is all you have on this godforsaken train to find the spark that will save your dying art career ��� but you never thought that you would find it in the enigmatic stranger that you can’t seem to stop running into.

wc: 22.3k

timestamps:

~ 9:05 p.m. — bf!yj — m ⚠︎

part 2: 9:23 p.m. — m

~ 12:43 a.m. — best friend!yj — m

~ 11:01 p.m. — rockstar!yj — m

au's:

~ sweet frat boy!yeonjun — f

~ picnic date w/ boyfriend!yeonjun — f

~ early mornings w/ boyfriend!yeonjun — f

~ vacation w/ boyfriend!yeonjun — f

~ a very sexy cowboy!yeonjun — s

— BEOMGYU

telepathy — mind reader!bg, strangers to ??? — m

most people would abhor a packed subway car — but beomgyu, telepathist extraordinaire, relishes in it. with a career in the funeral business, he finds his morning commute to be the only thing that keeps him relatively sane. reading the mundane thoughts of mundane people maintains his tether to his humanity, but when he goes to read your mind...oh, things get a whole lot more interesting.

wc: 11.7k

timestamps:

~ 3:13 a.m. — vampire!gyu — m

au's:

~ cocky sub!beomgyu x femdom!tutor!reader, college au — m

— TAEHYUN

timestamps:

~ 2:56 p.m. — lab partner!th — f

au's:

~ nerd!taehyun — m

— HUENINGKAI

timestamps:

~ 8:02 p.m. — jack frost!kai — f ; a

— MULTI-MEMBER

timestamps:

~ 11:58 p.m. — fratboys!taejun — m

thoughts:

~ finding out you have an onlyfans — m

~ best friend!txt finding out that you write smut about him — m

© to agustdiv1ne. do not copy, repost, steal, and/or translate.

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

"Kai cafe owner hcs pt 2"

✰---Summery: pt.2 of my bakery owner kai series! half head cannon and half Drabble/ fic. in this episode, y/n comes back once again and the tension grows between them. y/n ends up with another free dessert and both of you end up with more butterflies in your stomach and more fantasies for later that night.

✰--- approx: 30 min read

✰-- A/n: not much to say! part three will probably be up in dec of 2024 or jan of 2025 I can't believe im saying 2025 wow I feel so old. If u saw me posting this late no you didn’t

link to part 1

✰---warnings/info: some swearing, obvious smut, a lot of inter monlonge of smutty thoughts, mentions of mutual masterbation, kai really wants to put reader on the counter, mentions of penetration and fingering, lots of talk of food, eating and desserts, romantic luff and smut.

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper.” This is in no way is mean to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~

if you don’t have an age indicator saying you’re not a minor in your blog then I will be blocking you! So minors dni!!

••••••••••••••••••••

BakeryOwnerkai! who tries to be mature about things that night after you came into the shop at closing time. almost like he can't be caught lacking cause who knows, you might somehow find out. one can never be too careful.... that was,,, until he imagine you watching him, and maybe if you'd let him, him watching you as he pleasured himself on the opposite end of his sofa. your sweet eyes trained, no, fixated on his hot and throbbing cock, aching for you. and he was aching for you. it sounded stupid to say this so soon but it seemed like It was. in his heart and also right now... in his hand. he looks down almost in shock. he had unconsciously freed his dick from the confinements of his night pants. and now he couldn't stop. oh god he really wanted you

BakeryOwnerkai! who imagines guiltily how you'd look on your back, eyes half lidded in pleasure and pupils dilated in lust, fingers inside your pretty pussy. you moaning his name in that cute tone of yours

BakeryOwnerkai! who tries to get to bed early to help with eye bags and dark circles, he really does! but it turned out harder than expected with someone like you on his mind (wow hes really killing it with these pick up lines, he'll remember to use that one day with you along with the one about a sugar emergency. that is, if he remembers to cause his mind kinda turned to much that day) so he may or may not have ended up ranting to his friends for a while. and when they had to log off that call he also may or may not have, albeit reluctantly pulled out one of his plushies and talked to it

it was not his prouder moment by far. that poor plushie is traumatized now for having to endure his rambles. But he had no choice!

BakeryOwnerkai! who finally gets to sleep, and then wakes up an hour early out of excitement for the new day ahead. but he wasn't complaining; so he beat his hair into submission using that new blowdrying technique hes had saved in his phone for a while since he had the time to try something new. and it took three times as long to pick out his outfit that morning, and it really made him rethink having so many hoodies. he knew it was going to be hidden with his apron but that couldn't stop him from overthinking

BakeryOwnerkai! who tucks his shirt in one more time in from of the mirror. was it nice looking? yes. but would you like it? there was no way of knowing right now.... kai knew that. but he still wanted to look sophisticated, like he was worth something, like he knew what he was doing somewhat, like he wasnt some man child.

BakeryOwnerkai! who the last thing he wanted was to come across as childish or immature to you. and who tells himself on his morning commute and walk to work over and over a million times to "dont sound too exciting, dont sound too excited"

his logic? kai thought that it might sound as if hes already fallen for you (he fully, completely already did) or that he just wanted to be friends (he very much did not). now of course, he'd smile and be nice to you, but his plan was to hopefully not showcase how swat up by you he already was.

BakeryOwnerkai! who's plans all go out the window the minute you step in the shop at exactly 12:43 pm. the lunch rush was ablaze, he was swamped in toasted croissants and warmed muffins. almost every little table was full (not like there was many anyway) and the Line was getting longer towards the door. but when you came in, it was like time stoped, the breeze from outside came in, carrying your perfume with it. he almost knew on instinct to look up towards the door.

Hes mid ringing a costumer up when he pauses long enough for the costumer to shove their card in his face and say "hello??? im kinda in a rush" he immediately swipes their card with a meek and very apologetic "oh my god Im so sorry about that. have a good day!" and somehow... his eyes land back on you, at the back of the line, a bit off to the side like youre looking at the case of goodies. and youre already looking at him

and oh dear youre... chuckling!

He whips his hand on his apron while the next costumer tells him their order, but as engaging as he usually is with his patrons, this time hes distracted by none other than your snickering face. he breaks eye contact with you, and tells the person who ordered that their chest danish will be right out and walks over to the case. you regain eye contact and he mouths "what?" with a smile on his face and his eyes lit up forming crinkles on the sides of them.

he dips his head under the counter, and when he pops back up youre still looking at him, mouthing "pay attention," with an overdramatic scoff and eye roll, mocking offense. he just smiles and shakes his head at you, handing the person at the counter their pastry in the parchment bag. "here you go sir!" he genuinely smiles at the older man.

"trying something new today? I had a blueberry muffin saved for you." he leans in a little on the counter, listening to the older man talk. "I suppose so!" he chuckles, "it just looked so good! I will still take my usual coffee though" Kai nods "well I hope it tastes as good as it looks." "im sure it will!" "and that coffee is coming right up! decaf, half and half, and a little sugar right?" "ah you remembered!" the older man smiles. "of course" kai responds

BakeryOwnerkai! who all the while doesn't notice you staring, admiring him. especially the way he leans on the counter, the couple promanite veins in his forearms popping. and his kindness to the old man didnt go unnoticed. it was sweet, you thought.

BakeryOwnerkai! who gives the old man the to go cup and asks if its hot enough. "enough to burn my tongue so yeah." the old man says in his typical horse voice. he hands him the cash and says almost in a whisper, "I see youre a little distracted" and cocks his head towards you at the back of the line, knowing smile on his face. kai neck and face heats up "I guess I am." he smiles, teeth and all. "dont miss an opportunity, now." the old man says, laughing to himself. and they say their goodbyes

BakeryOwnerKai! Who you see closer to you as the line moves. And finally, it gets to you. the lunch rush has quieted down, and all you can think about are those broad shoulders of his making the straps of the apron look so small on him. how his skin would feel under your touch. would he shiver as your digits went lower from those forearms to his torso, from his torso to his hips? "im no better than a man." you thought to yourself.

kai coughs, "uh what can I get for you?" youre taken aback. "what no hi hello?" he looks around, perofessionalsm leaving him as a smile creeps onto his face, making his eyes squnch up. "you told me to pay attention!" he says. you saunter over to the trays of goodies in the glass case and he follows you behind the counter. "well anyways, hi hello! I see you came back." "youre just now noticing?" you tease, eyes still fixated on that last treat one one of the trays in the back.

BakeryOwner!kai who is left speechless, rubbing the back of his neck. "those sell out pretty fast. they're a mother to make though." he chuckles. you finally meet his eye, "im not done deciding." you smirk.

"hm well, ive got time." he holds your gaze and suddenly. youre feeling hot. it was like that senate could have a thousand meanings but also only one if thats what you wanted. it was so weird... but with the way he looked at you and the tone of his voice, god did it sound hot. it was like he was telling you you deserved to be taken time on. like a reassurance, like a promise.

it was stupid, you knew that. you just met him for fucks sake!

but it was still hot.

BakeryOwner!kai who's internally struggling to hold your eye contact. he starts absentmindedly wiping down the counter, the spilled crumbs suddenly of such interest to him. . "Im very pastient, you know, I mean, I did wait all that time for you in the line right" he says it with such an innocent smile you almost feel bad for pulling something more out of it. but it had to mean something more, right? "I can see that! a little distracted though." you chuckle and kai looks down... and he was whipping the same spot over and over. he laughs and shakes his head at your and your antics, "its uh super dirty."

"so you like to make messes? gotcha" there was a certain undertone to your voice. he heard it, and so did you. what were you doing? kai gulps, surprised. "occasionally." you come over to the cash regastister, leaning on it on your elbows. and you were about to deliver the best one liner of your life when there was a loud yelp. you look behind you and kai jumps in his own skin. you sigh in relief, it was just someone dropping their phone in the back corner of the shop, the persons back turned to the both of you.

why was their back turned away so important to you? you had no idea. but lets be honest, both of you looked like you had something to hide because you kinda did. flirting with a costumer wasn't a good look you know?

"Anyway." he nervously says, flipping his dish town over his shoulder in a way that was so effortlessly attractive it made your head spin a little. "anyway" you repeat. "anyway." he nods, his lips drawn together in a tight line.

BakeryOwner!kai who reminds himself to stay calm when you ask him if hes a parrrot with the way hes copying you. "are we just gonna keep saying anyway?" you raise a half joking eyebrow. he wants to keep talking to you. he also needs to get back to work. but he also wants to kick the last couple people out the shop, close the blinds, and dance just talk with you until nightfall. he doesn't wanna leave. so he won't, he decides.

"NO!" he quickly realizes how loud he was, "no!" he tries again, "it- you know, that noise startled me" you can tell hes picking his words carefully, for what you dont know, but you wish he'd stop. you know youve just met each other but you have half a mind to tell him that he can speak for comfortably with you.

he coughs, trying to ease whatever multiple tensions you two have sitting in the room with y'all. "ahem youre stil deciding?" "what do you recommend?" "savory or sweet?" you smile at him "I prefer it sweet" he points to something smaller in the back of the glass case, already sliding the door open to grab the tray out for you to see unclose, "these used to be my favorite as a kid! its got that perfect crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside. " "they look delicious!" and you relish the way his eyes light up again for the up tenth time today, "I- uhh" he drops the tray a little bit, looking a little less enthusiastic. "you what?" you ask. he shakes his head a little bit. "im sorry," his tongue darts down to swipe his lower lip and you follow it with your eyes. you can't help it-- its so perfect, pink and wet, his lips glistening from a trail of his saliva. ok fine, maybe last night you were imagining grasping those fucking shoulders as he sucks on, then kisses and kitten licks your collar bone.

BakeryOwner!kai who notices your eyes glaze over for a moment but doesn't pay any attention to it as he answer truthfully "I probably sound too excited dont i." you shake your head and laugh in amusement at how stupid that idea sounds. "nah I like it. you look cute when youre excited." he looks down at the dessert then back at you, placing down the tray and getting a baggy to put them in. "well im glad you think that. cause ill admit this morning I told myself not to come off to excited or... strong? I guess." you raise an eyebrow. so your inkling was right? the affection just might've been shared.

the moving around, double wrapping your treats-- once in plastic and once in the usual paper bag was routine enough for him to feel more at ease. "what made you so sure I was gonna come back?" you taunted.

BakeryOwner!kai who is greatful he doesn't have to face you as he ties the baggy with that same ribbon he tied your first dessert with. your teasing tone made him uncomfortable in his jeans. hidden by his apron, thankfully. but he still needed to get himself or well it under control. he didnt know what it was. the comfedenece? the cute little giggle at the end? Or just the fact that you’re out of this world beautiful? whatever it was it made him both yearn to spin you around to a jazz record at dusk and put you up on the counter right now.

with a deep breath he turns around to you. "are those mine?" you smile. "yes they areeeee." kai announces to basically the entire shop. the last remaining couple costumers pop their heads up from their phones or laptops then look back down. as he hands it to you, you too look at each other in utter horror, then start laughing your asses off. kai sounds like a shirking dolphin when he laughs and it cracks you up even more

BakeryOwner!kai who thinks your laugh sounds like a symphony. how could he not want to listen to it every day? how could he not want to trigger that melody again and again? how could he not have heard it before? youre making him want to hear it every morning

BakeryOwner!kai who starts wondering if you'd giggle before wrapping your perfect fingers around his cock and guiding it to your intrance. or if you'd laugh as he picked you up and placed you on the counter, would you laugh even half the way you are right now if he bottomed out inside you?

but as much as he wanted to think about how good he'd be for you if you let him put you up on this counter (or the one in the back. he wasn't picky. though this one had better lighting so id be his first pick-- wanting it to be picture perfect)

BakeryOwner!kai who realizes in that moment that, one) you dont know each others names. and two) he never answered your question. he takes a glance around the shop, only one counter remaining. I can get away with this, he thinks to himself, just this once. he wipes his hands on his dish towel one more time, slinging it back over his shoulder. you step away from the counter to meet him.

he licks his lips and raises his eyebrows. for him its a way to calm himself down, for you its something that makes your pussy drip and your underwear stick to your core uncomfortably.

"lucky guess?" you cock your head, "for what?" he looks toward a shelf behind you with the piplum Pokemon plush next to a succulent on it. "earlier. you had asked me how I knew you'd come back." "oh" you laugh, 'some lucky guess." "or maybe I was hoping you would. or maybe, " he holds your gaze, the shelf uninteresting now, "my desserts are just that good." you look up at him and blink slowly, "ooo hes manifesting, or just overconfident."

"well you came back didnt you?" he raises a mischievous eyebrow and you suck your lips into your own mouth in an attempt to be serious, "ugh whatever" "not hearing a no, soooo." he laughs. god youre so easy to laugh with.

"im certainly not saying no."

"im Kai by the way." he greets you as you tell him your name.

"expect me back, kai." "I would love to have you back" he says in a tone like 'duhhh' "I'll have one of those ready for you, favored costumer."

"careful I dont want your other costumers to get jealous." he chuckles, "ok that was good." he compliments, and you smile.

BakeryOwnwer!kai who feels some sort of ecstasy when you tell him your name. and now all he wants to do is to repeat it in his mind over and over again. and he just stands there doing just so until he hears the clink of his tip jar. "nonono you dont have to--" "I didnt pay did it?" "yeah, I did that on purpose." "I know, so this is the least--" "please stop. thats already the price of the food, you might has well just payed!" you put another bit in there and your satisfied. "ok now thats excessive..." you stare at him, "...but thank you, y/n."

after arguing over the money and finally making him accept at least a considerable size tip, you almost dont wanna leave,

"they smell really good!" you look down at the dessert

"I hope they taste even better! and hey, they match your shirt,"

you look down, noticing your brown shirt matching with the deliouss looking dessert.

"hm, guess they do." and youre not sure why he commented on it until he says something.

"I love the color brown."

and suddenly, dirt is pretty and you wanna be buried without a casket in it, his brown eyes pop and happily sparkle even more than before, suddenly you understand why bugs burrow into trees because suddenly tree bark is something you want to burry in. a simple wooden shelf or desk isn't so bad.

then you realize-- "hey look, were matching!... I love the color brown too."

he looks into your eyes, "its pretty right,"

you hold his gaze... "mmhm"

~end~ hope y'all enjoyed! pls comment and or reblog if you liked it! I apologize for any spelling errors! I’ll fix them soon

tags: @bamtorin @strawberryshoujosundae

©️2024copywrightforshutupheathersorryheathr

[mt-oe]

its finals season (again..) and huge projects for classes right now. can we get a stressed reader x modern mizu where reader is like actually tweaking out? like I mean pulling our energy shots, shivering hands, 'gotta lock in', hysterically crying on snapchat video and sending it to their groupchat for moral support type of tweaking out and the reader is going BANANAS over all the final papers, and studying for finals and mizu helps comfort reader?? i hope this would be a silly little write but also helpful to anyone going through finals season right now. much love! xoxo <3

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Hey dears!

To start this, I am absolutely sorry for being gone for so long. I had my thesis defense, practicals, laboratory works, deadlines, and my finals all in the span of two weeks AND I fainted twice, got sick twice, and nose bled a LOT.

I was chugging 3 cans of energy drinks a day, eating one meal per day, sleeping minutes less than how long I showered, and smoked quite a lot. Someone even caught me sleeping on the fire exit stairs (istg so embarrassing ;;). Honestly makes me wonder how I'm not six feet under by now.

To those who are going through their finals, please don't follow my lead. Vomiting at 3am from how dizzy you are while some Sepultura song plays in the background is NOT the experience you'd think it was. Try to plan when you'll tackle your work and get some sleep as much as you can, on your free time, on your commute. I swear, answering tests are SOO much easier when your vision isn't spinning or tunneling.

Chose to do this request first to remind you all to take care amidst your finals (or as a reward if your finals are finished, good job dear!).

Hope you enjoy! Mwa mwa <3

warning: not proofread, my corny jokes, she/her for mizu, implied afab reader

Blue orbs watched as you cracked open another can of Red Bull. A small grunt leaving your throat as the fizzy caffeinated drink went down your esophagus. Was this your second? third..no wait..fourth?

Damn.

How are your blood vessels surviving this onslaught of caffeine you've been shoving down your system? She had no clue. But what she did know was that you've had enough. This wasn't healthy at all. Your lips were already as pale as the palms of your hands which were trembling to the point where you couldn't stop writing because that meant you'd feel the quivering of your hands even more.

The two of you had decided to slave off at Mizu's apartment for your finals. It was mostly Mizu dragging you there since your friends have been bombarding her to take care of you since she had the closest to what was considered a free schedule. T'was something about you freaking out and crying over the finals. She didn't have a Snapchat account so she didn't know.

Usually, she wasn't even interested in these stuff, but when Akemi showed her a picture of you with a thumbs up, holding a can of Monster, dark circles under your bloodshot eyes, tear streaks on your face, with the caption 'Boutta pull another Kay Chung tonight', concerned didn't even begin to describe what she felt.

Boutta pull a Kay Chung?

What or who was this Kay Chung anyway?

She knew you were a hard worker, probably one of the most studious people she knew, so she already expected you to be busy studying. What she didn't expect was the mess you were in.

The moment she stepped into your unit, cans of energy drinks, bottles of energy shots, cups of coffee, and random paper strewn randomly littered your apartment. The only source of light was your window and a small dim lamp you had.

Was that cup noodle container growing mold?

Ew.

It was like the Capital Wasteland in here, and she was the lonesome wanderer, awaiting the dangers to come.

And you were a radiated ghoul hunched over your desk with the emptiest gaze she has ever seen. Your head in your hands, as you scrunched your eyebrows together, trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with your equation.

Now she understood the bombardment of messages from Akemi and the others, and damn was she grateful for the heads up because you looked like you were at death's door and death... Death just thought you looked too pitiful to let in.

The two of you were now sitting on Mizu's carpet, books, papers, and gadgets on the smooth wood of the coffee table. In her mind, she thought a bit of companionship would comfort you like it usually did. But she was wrong.

The shaking grip you had on your pen and the occasional 'what the actual fuck?' or 'the hell?' already told her that you were too locked in to relax even just a bit. You looked like you were losing it.

Her eyes peered over your review sheet before she raised an eyebrow at how scattered your handwriting looked, numbers and symbols italicized to the left and to the right as if they were dancing and your solutions scattered. Add this value here..derive the formula there..problem 3's solution is somehow on the back of the paper even though problem 5 was solved on problem 1's spot. It looked like a shit show.

"What...problem is this for? You did it wrong." Her tongue clicking as a slender finger encircled a formula you derived wrong, making you look at her with a mildly bothered look. Your eyes tiredly scanned your review sheet, looking away to the side to blink the heaviness of your lids away, then looking back at it before letting out a strangled sounding groan, shoulders slumping back onto the sofa as you covered your eyes with your hands before looking at your own solutions again. "I don't fucking know..maybe it's for..umm..for..fuuuuuck," you sighed defeatedly, realizing that you couldn't understand your own handwriting either.

You wanted to strangle yourself so bad right now or like, strangle your professor until they give you a passing grade. Maybe the threat of arson would scare the university admins into passing everyone for the semester???? The prospect of being a sugar baby is starting to sound better than trying to finish this degree.

It wasn't like you were an absolute idiot. You could solve these problems no problemo. However, your vision was already lagging and tunneling. Whenever you tried to read the problem or your own handwriting, it was like your vision was hyper-focusing on one spot and the areas around it were...spinning or it'd focus on everything else EXCEPT the ones you wanted to focus on.

The amount of caffeine you had consumed wasn't even helping anymore. Instead of waking you up, you just felt jittery like a hyper-charged toy. Before you were sleepy and slow, now you were still sleepy but faster.

And when was the last time you even ate anyway? Was that moldy cup noodle your last meal? You didn't even know anymore at this point. You could barely feel anything aside from the fear of your impeding academic doom. Not even hunger was strong enough to stop you.

Mizu's eyebrows furrowed at how miserable you looked before sighing and pulling a sheet of paper out of her own notebook. "Here," she sighed out, sitting beside you and scanning each problem you had printed out before re-writing each question you looked like you struggled with. Her eyes occasionally glanced at you, unseen worry rising with every hitch of your breath and every twitch of your eyebrow as you looked at the questions she rewrote.

"Mizu..I don't want to do those all again," you groaned frustratedly, ruffling your hair own hair aggressively, strands falling to the carpet below. A hand held yours firmly, preventing you from tangling the ends of locks even more. "I'm going to teach you, dumbass. We can't have you failing and dying at the same time," she huffed, grabbing your calculator and placing it in front of both of you. She leaned closer to you, hand on your waist to pull you closer before taking the pencil and pointing to the first problem she rewrote.

"I'm not going to repeat my explanations, so listen well,"

...was what she said.

However, Mizu was a big softie when it came to you. Every time she caught you spacing out or having a hard time in general, she took her time and explained it to you again, even explaining it slower, simpler, or more detailed as needed. She really made sure that you understood the principle of the problems and the process of solving them, handing the pencil and calculator to you to make sure you actually understood her.

After a while, you were slowly starting to understand you earlier mistakes, and with her help, you were able to finally solve the review sheet. Thank god for hot smart women.

A look of amusement crossed her face as she watched you slump back onto the sofa with a loud sigh of relief. Shaking her head with a small lop-sided smile, she took the pen again before grabbing your laptop and searching for similar problems. "Here," she said, turning the device towards you. "Solve these. I'll be back in a bit."

You looked at her in confusion before letting out a tired groan. The exhaustion was starting to let itself be known through the heaviness in your lids. Another problem set was the last thing you wanted to do right now.

Oh wait.

Fuck, you still had to edit your methodologies and results, and you haven't even started on the discussion yet. Oh god...

'Better get started, I guess,' you thought with a defeated sigh. Muttering a string of curses under your breath, you picked up your pencil and calculator and began solving yet another set of hellish questions while the dark-haired woman stood up and walked off somewhere in her apartment. Silence filled the room aside from the aggressive scritching and scratching of lead against paper and the sound of clacking from your calculator.

Every now and then, Mizu would come back with something to comfort you. May it be a cup of water, a bigger pillow, a hair tie, or to charge your phone for you. She didn't really speak though, fully wanting you to focus on your work.

It was like her quiet little way of telling you that she was here and that she cared for you.

Amidst your problem solving, the smell of something being fried hit your nose, making you look up. It was a bit oily, but at the same time, homely and savory. Your stomach growled slightly at the smell, reminding you of that uncomfortable feeling of hunger that you were somehow able to ignore during your study sessions.

Just as you had finished writing your answers, Mizu came out of the kitchen with a bowl of rice and a plate of what seemed to be fried fish. Kinda burnt but maybe that's a charm point...or something. At least she tried.

She set it down on a clear space on the coffee table and gently urged it towards you. "Here," she mumbled, looking at you expectantly. You stared at the food she prepared, snorting a bit at the charred skin, some bits missing which obviously stuck to the pan while she was frying it. "Err..Mizu...?"

"Don't mind how it looks just..just eat, okay?" she groaned, sounding a bit embarrassed, a bit of pink dusting her cheeks. Her eyes looking away as her hand went up to cover half her face. You couldn't help but laugh a bit. Mizu? Embarrassed? God that woke you up, didn't it?

The sound of your laughter made her feel even more embarrassed but at the same time relieved. Your laugh was so fucking cute. She was glad that you were starting to sound a bit more like your usual self. Hell, you were smiling now. A big improvement compared to the face of misery you were making earlier.

Eventually, your laughter subsided upon the realization sinking into you. She really did all this just to take of you. Dragging you to her apartment, tutoring you, fetching things for you, cooking for you...

She really does care. Doesn't she?

Your hands picked up the chopsticks before breaking into the soft flesh of the food in front of you, picking off the bones before taking a bite. It was salty, the char even made it a bit bitter, and for god-knows-why, even a bit spicy?? But it tasted so good to you. Heavenly, dare I say.

As you continued to eat, bite after bite and scoop after scoop, the shakiness in your hands slowly calmed down. You couldn't help but look up at your friend who was now checking your answers, the ghost of satisfaction making itself known through the barely visible smile she had. "Mizu..."

She looked over at you, raising an eyebrow to indicate that she was listening. "Thank you for uh..taking care of me," you said shyly, giving her a small smile. A low chuckle escaped her throat as she shook her head slowly as if in amusement. "At least you're not shaking like a leaf anymore," she joked, followed by you letting out a small 'hmph!', making her chuckle yet again.

Though she wouldn't tell it to you right now, she'd be more than happy to take care of you anytime you wanted or needed it.

The sound of your pen tapping on the paper filled the room again as her eyes narrowed at your answers, checking it carefully. After a while, she handed the paper back to you, looking very much satisfied. "Looks good," she said, eyes watching the proud smile on your face. "How 'bout a reward?...Some rest I suppose?"

Your smile faltered at the sound of rest. "I can't...my manuscript is due in a couple of days and I haven't even finished editing my methodologies and results," you explained, opening the files for each of your chapters. "The data isn't even tabulated in the required format. It looks like shit."

She stood up from her spot and sat next to you, placing a hand on your head to pat it gently as she looked at the screen. Her eyes narrowed again while you scrolled up the file for her before she sighed. "Yeah, it does look like shit," she agreed before suddenly grabbing your laptop and setting in front of her. "Go and take a nap or something. I'll do whatever I can to...whatever this is."

"But Mizu, this isn't even your field. I can't—" She cut you off with a finger to your lips before gesturing towards the sofa behind the both of you. "Nap," she ordered firmly. You sighed before standing up and laying down on the sofa. You knew there was no use arguing. When Mizu makes up her mind, she's deadset on it.

Her eyes scanned your figure for a moment, taking in every curve of your body and the way your face relaxed. Then, she took off her jacket and draped it over you, before giving you a small loving pat. Before you could even open your mouth to protest, she immediately shushed you and turned to your manuscript, scanning over it.

Your eyes observed the way her eyebrows furrowed and the way her eyes darted from word-to-word. The sound of her typing and clicking filling the room, oddly relaxing you.

It didn't take long for you to drift off to sleep. And for the first time since hell week started, you finally relaxed.

No frustration, no stress, just...sleep.

You did nap for hours longer than expected though.

Don't worry.

Your methodologies were now updated, results properly formatted, and ideas in bullet points for your discussion were laid out in a new file. Even your references were fixed.

Damn, you really wanted to smooch Mizu reaaal hard after this.

[blackreaderfics]

Hygge | Nanami Kento x Tiana

↳ Pairing : Nanami Kento x Tiana

↳ Rating :  T

↳ Summary : Nanami breaks his well cultivated routine 

↳ W.C : 4.4k

↳ A/N: the voices in my head got me y’all… this is a purely self indulgent fic featuring relatable king Nanami (I, too, do not dream of labor✊🏾) and black girlbossqueen Tiana

↳ Tags + Warnings: xenophobia from a side character, fluff, set in Tokyo, next door neighbors, cultural differences, salaryman x cafe owner, they can speak each other’s languages but not fluently

🎵 A Commuter’s Trip (The Commuter OST) by Roque Baños

🎵 Hello Stranger by KAI

Hygge (n.) | Danish

“the feeling of calm, comfort, and contentment evoked by life’s simple joys”

Nanami had a simple routine. Wake up at 6, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast by 7:45 and be out of the door—at the latest—a minute before 8. He had everything calculated to the T. If Nanami had been a minute too late—let’s say 8:01— he would miss the morning train and therefore be late for work, and he was never late. He had taken into account all contingencies i.e. a train delay, traffic, inclement weather, and made sure he was prepared for any and all possibilities.

That’s why, much to his chagrin, he was “Employee of the Month” every month since he had been promoted from associate to advisor. Most workers would’ve taken pride in that, felt their presence valued at their company. But Nanami didn’t care much for awards or titles, in fact, he just hated working period. He made sure to always clock out at 6 p.m. on the dot. One minute more would be overtime and he didn’t want to give his thankless job a second more of his labor. 

When he left work, he always went straight home. When his head hit the pillow and he closed his eyes, thoughts about the next day would drift into his mind. 

Did the market close up or down? What reports did he need to finish? There’s a client meeting coming up; the presentation deck needs to be prepared… Just two more days. Get through two more days and it’s the weekend. 

And so on and so on. Wash rinse repeat. 

He presumed this endless cycle of corporate monotony would continue until the day he turned 40, after which he could retire and live modestly in a country like Malaysia or the Philippines to catch up on all the reading he missed. Perhaps even find a nice woman and marry her while he was there.

The marriage part was new—an afterthought after years of daydreaming—and he didn’t really think much about the kind of woman he wanted to marry. What she looked like or what she did was more of an amorphous thought, a vague idea in his mind. 

Until her.

He met her by accident. Nanami had been cooking, a hobby he only indulged in on the weekends, and he was just in the middle of making a rolled omelet when he heard a loud thump outside his door.

His apartment building was more of an office building which meant that his floor didn’t get much traffic. The people who rented rooms were not really tenants who lived there, but workers looking for an extra workspace.  He had assumed the thump to be a delivery man outside his door so, naturally, he was surprised when it wasn’t the post, but a foreigner woman standing outside the room next door.

The woman had a heavy bag of groceries balanced in the crook of her arm and another by her feet that he presumed had been the source of the sound. When they made eye contact, he had been so startled that he quickly closed his door. The apartment next to his had been empty for months, but it looked like it had finally been rented out. 

He thought nothing more of it until her very presence began to infiltrate his well-maintained routine. Every morning, if he was quiet enough, he could faintly hear her humming as he got dressed. Other times, he could hear upbeat jazzy music on the weekends if he opened his window.

Every night, he was surrounded by the fragrance of whatever she seemed to be cooking. Most of the time it was sweet, other times it was savory. It wasn’t an unpleasant aroma, just noticeable to the point where its absence would feel strange. There were days when they would leave for work at the same time, though oftentimes he would end up holding the elevator door open for her when she left her apartment a few minutes after he did. 

In the brief moments they encountered, Nanami made small observations about her: She was an American. Beautiful. Unmarried—Americans wore rings on their ring finger to signify marital status, he’d noticed she didn’t.

He couldn’t infer her job or what exactly brought her to Tokyo in the first place from her appearance alone, however. He’d seen a fair amount of young foreign teachers in the city. He wondered if she was a teacher. She looked young enough. A missionary? She dressed modestly and wore sensible shoes. Her curly hair was often tied into a low bun. From the very slim list of what young American women did for work in Tokyo, he decided on teacher and his curiosity was sated. 

One day he found out. After a long day of work, he walked his usual route from the train station back to his apartment building but was redirected due to construction at his usual subway exit. When he alighted from the escalator he was on a different street entirely. The extra few minutes from this detour would undoubtedly cut into the time he’d set aside to unwind, and subsequently, he’d have to make a few adjustments to still get a full 8 hours of sleep.

He loosened his tie and sighed inwardly as he walked on. Since he’d moved to this district last year he didn’t make much effort to visit any new places. For all he was concerned, he only really needed to know his route to work and the nearest Starbucks. 

So when he passed by a small cafe called “Tiana’s Place”, it didn’t immediately click that the jazz he’d heard playing softly from her apartment was the same music that was playing now. It was familiar enough that it gave him pause. Where had he heard that song before? When he finally caught sight of her—his neighbor— through the glass window, it finally registered that she wasn’t a teacher or a missionary, but a cafe worker, and from the looks of it, she owned the place. 

He watched her dimples deepen as she interacted with customers, giving each and every one of them a tireless smile. Before he knew it, Nanami found himself inside the cafe whisked into the after-work rush of impatient office workers. She was so busy already, the only indication of strain being a moment when she blew the hair out of her face before the next customer walked up to order. He planned to buy something small and leave; he wanted to give her time to catch her breath but inadvertently in his musings he was already holding up the line. 

She was…right in front of him? And speaking to him now? It was the first time he’d heard her voice and he decided it suited her. She spoke in Japanese and, though accented, was clear and practiced enough in a way that impressed him.

“Are you still deciding, sir?” Impossibly large brown eyes waited in expectation for him to order.

He broke out of his reverie quickly enough to make it seem like his stalling was deliberate, his unmarred poker face further upholding the charade.

He scanned the prepackaged foods and retrieved the first thing that looked like bread. “Just this.” 

“Good choice,” She looked positively elated as she scanned the barcode and activated the card machine. “Beignets are my specialty.” She was beaming at him. Not in a “thank you come again” customer way but like in a he’d just made her entire week way. She was so laughably easy to please that it discomfited him.

He muttered a “thank you”, taking the package and turning to leave quickly before he met her eyes again. The Fall of Icarus was a cautionary tale for a reason, he wouldn’t risk another trip into the sun.

Nanami’s routine had drastically altered over the next few weeks. Every morning he’d gotten used to riding down the elevator with her. They greeted each other regularly, albeit a bit awkwardly, in the shared space���A slight bow from him as he held the doors open, reciprocated by a grateful wave from her.

The last time they shared an elevator, however, they'd accidentally brushed hands while reaching for the ground floor button. For some reason, that unnerved Nanami. So now, most times, he avoided that, opting to wait and listen to the click of her door before he left the house. For good measure, he started taking the stairs. As a result, Nanami had added an extra 10 minutes to his morning commute.

The detour, having yet to be fixed, took him past the café every day. Though Nanami knew the process of waiting in line would add an extra 15 minutes to his after-work trek, he did so anyway, calculating that picking up a quick dinner bento would be a fair trade to taking the time to cook something for himself. 

“What can I get for you today, sir?”  

He knew her name now—Tiana, from the name tag she wore, and the sign on the storefront. He noticed from the way her eyes would widen as he approached, that she recognized him now too.

“Black tea. No sugar, please.” He placed his usual prepackaged meal and packet of beignets on the counter, taking out his wallet. Nanami didn’t always plan to add beignets to every order, but he found himself reaching for them every time, dreading her predictable delight when he did. Ordering tea was another stroke of impulse he didn’t account for, but it wasn’t so busy now, he could enjoy it before he went home.

He decided on a table by the window, savoring the warm liquid as the sun set to a melancholy soundtrack of brass and bass. It was like being transported to another time, outside of crowded subway cars and the hustle of his high-powered office.

Nanami closed his eyes and felt something akin to contentment. When he exhaled, the stiffness in his shoulders abated, and the strain behind his eyes subsided. Was this what it was like to finally relax? 

He was about to take another sip of his drink when he heard a loud bang. The front door to the restaurant had flown open, a bulky man with greasy hair and a lecherous smile stalking in. Nanami’s eyes trailed after the man’s movements, the cup still raised to his lip.

“I’d like a dozen of those powdered donut things. Ya got any of those?” The man leered at the part-timer manning the counter. He sauntered back and forth at the register, eying the self-serve pastries in the display. 

“Sure, would you like them fresh? There aren’t enough ready-made ones for a dozen, but if you’re willing to wait there’s a new batch being made—” 

The man picked up a package of beignets that had been warming under a heated case and without warning, ripped open the package and took a bite.

“S-sir! You need to pay for that first!” The part-timer sputtered.

“Well, I’m waitin’ for that new batch. I wanna try before I buy.” The delinquent guffawed and attempted another gleeful bite only for the pastry to be smacked out of his hand and onto the floor.

He whirled around to face Tiana, bursting into laughter upon seeing her. “And who the fuck are you supposed to be?” 

“Call the police,” Tiana stated calmly to her employee as she stared down the man. Her usual polite smile had been replaced with a stony-faced expression. “Sir, if you’re not going to buy anything then it’s best you leave.”

“Huh? What was that? I can barely understand you, foreign bit-AHh” A pressure on the man’s shoulder made him crumple in pain.

“Your ears must not be working. I can understand her perfectly well,” Nanami murmured, his vice-like grip squeezing at the juncture between the man’s neck and shoulder. While the delinquent whimpered pathetically at the deepening pressure, Nanami directed his attention to Tiana, motioning with a slight tilt of his head for her to step away. “It’s not worth your trouble, I’ll take care of it.” 

She nodded reluctantly and joined her staff member who was now waiting with a phone at her ear behind the counter.

Nanami appeared to be saying something to the man now, but in a volume that Tiana couldn’t hear. His face was calm, betraying no emotion while the delinquent paled gradually in terror, trembling under his grip. The moment Nanami released him, the man scrambled out of his grasp and prostrated himself on all fours.

“I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I PROMISE I WON’T DO IT AGAIN PLEASE—” He shouted hysterically and proceeded to do a fervent bow of penitence. 

Tiana looked at Nanami quizzically but was only met with a mild shrug. 

“Alright alright,” she stepped around the counter to placate him. If he could just stop snotting up the floor she just mopped and get out of there, they could just forget this all happened.

The tinkling bell sound of the cafe door opening interrupted the scene; everyone’s attention shifted from the blubbering man on the floor to the police officer who had just stepped in. 

Before anyone could speak, the man sprang up from the ground and ran toward the policeman. “OFFICER! IT'S ALL MY FAULT I ADMIT IT! ARREST ME, PLEASE! JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

Within 10 minutes the offender was cuffed—willingly, to the cop’s surprise— and whisked noisily out of the cafe just as quickly as he’d burst in. Nanami, suddenly uninterested in the commotion, walked calmly back to his table and gathered his things. 

Tiana made her way over to Nanami, eyeing the man through the window. He was currently being escorted to a police car on the curb. Still in hysterics, he’d practically thrown himself into the back of the car.

“Ok…what on earth did you say to that man?” She quirked an eyebrow at the blonde businessman.

That this cafe is his one and only oasis in the heaping pile of shit called life, and if even so much as one insignificant waste of air like him tries to ruin it he’ll have no choice but to chop his fingers off one by one and shove them down his throat so hard he’ll be shitting fingernails for weeks…among other things.

It would’ve been improper to divulge this to Tiana, of course.

“I asked him to apologize,” he said instead in simple English, a far cry from the eloquently horrific threats he’d made in his native language. 

“Really?” She asked, accepting the sudden change of language in stride. Her arms were crossed, her hip jutted to the side, face incredulous. “Just like that?”

“I’m rather persuasive.”

After a beat she laughed. 

Nanami didn’t consider himself a funny person. And frankly, he didn’t understand why she was laughing now but he welcomed it, if only to see that the earlier disturbance hadn’t caused her too much distress.

“Well, thank you kindly,” she drawled in between giggles, her southern accent now unmistakable when she switched to English. “Mister…” 

“Kento.” He offered his first name, aware he was skipping over several customary stages of familiarity. In any other case, anyone less than an acquaintance addressing him by his first name would be extremely frowned upon. But it was common business practice to use given names when dealing with American clients; he thought it fitting to do the same with her.

He reached into his suit jacket, pulling out a silver business card holder, and passed over an impressive looking card: 

Nanami Kento, Investment Advisor

“If there are any similar issues please don’t hesitate to contact me.” He repeated an English phrase that had come in handy from past business dealings.

“Mr. Kento,” she repeated to herself with finality studying the card. Tiana faintly wondered why a guy with a fancy title—and the most expensive suits she’d ever laid eyes on— lived in the modest one-room apartment right next to hers. She pocketed the card and patted around for her own business card. 

“I would’ve given you my own card too. But if you ever need to contact me—”

“Boss!” Her part-timer called out, waving her over from where she stood next to a police officer holding a clipboard.

“I’d better go, you know where to find me.” She excused herself with an apologetic smile.

Unfortunately for Nanami, this little ordeal had cost him another hour of wasted time.

The next day Nanami waited for the familiar click of her door shutting before starting his commute. When he exited his apartment, he could still see the silhouette of her back walking towards the elevator bank. 

She left without an umbrella, he noted to himself as he walked part of the way down the hallway. He imagined walking up to her and bringing it up casually as they waited for the elevator. But as soon as she’d turned his direction he changed course abruptly, legs moving on their own through the emergency exit and down the stairs.

Work went on as usual. He sat at his desk going over the pitch deck, but his eyes could not seem to follow the text. Instead, he found himself gazing out the window, watching the clouds slowly darken in the horizon. 

“Fucking weather, right? News said it’s gonna rain like a bitch the next few days.”

His boss had walked up behind him, crouching at his eye level to see what Nanami was looking at. 

“Hope you brought your galoshes, rookie, we’re going overtime today for that big client meeting. Dinner’s on me.” His boss clapped a hand on his shoulder and went off to bother a different team.

He tried to return his attention to his work, but he couldn’t. Instead, he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes against the blue light of his computer screen. All he could think about was the rain.

Tiana had hoped that by the time she closed, the rain would’ve stopped. But she found herself outside the doors of the cafe, reluctant to leave. The rain hadn’t let up, and it didn’t look like it was stopping any time soon.

It was a day of disappointments. On top of forgetting her umbrella, Nanami hadn’t come into the shop that day. She’d gotten used to seeing him enter the store at the same time every day, and perhaps even looked forward to it. 

She took one tentative step outside, shivering through the draft of wind. She didn’t live far, maybe it would be alright if she just ran home with a plastic bag over her head. Tiana locked the door behind her and raised the collar of her jacket, clasping it with her hand to protect her neck. On the count of three, she lifted the plastic takeout bag over her head and took the plunge.

After a few strides in the pelting rain, it suddenly stopped—She had run into something or someone. The rain made it difficult to see where she was going so she blindly sputtered a reflexive “I’m so sorry!” in English at whoever it was that she had run into.

When she wiped the rain out of her eyes she could see nothing but an impeccably tailored pinstripe suit in the dim of the streetlights. It was Nanami and he was holding an umbrella over her head. His collar was unbuttoned without a tie, and he looked utterly exhausted. The dark circles under his eyes were even more pronounced from where she stood underneath him.

“Mr. Kento? Are you alright? What are you—”

“I figured you could use an umbrella,” he said dryly and pretty pointedly at her makeshift plastic bag hat.

“Yea, I guess I could use one of those,” she laughed breathlessly and took the bag off her head, before giving him one of those heart-stopping smiles he loathed. “You saved my life.*”

The corner of his mouth quirked slightly, amused. Perhaps because her choice of words sounded highly literal, almost…cute?, in Japanese. He “saved her life” just by sharing his umbrella? Americans were known to have a penchant for the dramatic. But he didn’t bother to correct her, instead, he only hummed somewhat of an affirmative response.

They walked in a comfortable silence down a familiar tree-lined path leading to their apartment building. She noticed Nanami’s shoulder getting wet, and leaned closer to him. 

Feeling the imperceptible shift, he gave the woman beside him a sidelong glance. His eyes settled on the loose wisp of hair he’d always seen her blowing out of her face.

It bothered him.

Maybe it was the fatigue-driven delirium, but he was struck with the inane compulsion to brush that lock out of her eyes. He couldn’t have been more grateful for the umbrella currently occupying his hand, otherwise, he would’ve indulged it.

Tiana reached over and gently adjusted the umbrella closer over his side. “Wouldn’t want to ruin that nice suit of yours,” she said softly.

“I hate this suit.” The curt statement came off a bit more brusque than he’d initially intended, though, it was true. He hated that suit and everything it represented.

She looked at him curiously, wondering if this was another aspect of his humor. But from what she could see on his countenance, he was entirely serious. 

He glanced at her again, catching the confused look on her face. “I don’t mind if it gets wet,” he reiterated this time with the intended lack of severity, along with a kind of finality that implied an end to the discussion of his suit and his decision to prioritize her dryness. They continued the rest of the way, the umbrella above them biased towards her side.

When they got to the apartment he held the building door open, letting her walk through first. 

“Thank you again for yesterday. That man, he was—” she paused to conjure the correct word.

“He was being a nuisance,” he completed, pushing the button for the elevator door. Naturally, he had chosen the same number for their floors, and when they arrived at their floor he waited for her to alight before walking after her.

When they finally reached their neighboring doors, he set his umbrella on the hallway floor for it to dry and began to punch in the code for his door. 

“Mr. Kento, wait a moment.”

He stilled his movement and watched as she rummaged into her purse. 

Tiana pulled out a paper box from her bag and presented it to him, “I was going to give these to you earlier if you came in. Glad they didn’t get wet.”

It was a small gesture. Even so, he was reluctant to take it.

“You… didn’t have to,” he frowned, eyeing the box.

“You didn’t have to walk me home, either,” she shrugged. 

“We’re neighbors. We were going in the same direction,” he said plainly, though, he didn’t entirely believe the words as they left his mouth either. It was unlike him to go anywhere else except straight home after working overtime. He hadn’t run into her by some coincidence or divine guidance. He’d gone there on purpose, and he had a sinking feeling she figured that out already too.

“Then just think of it as a ‘thank you gift’,” she insisted, tugging gently at his wrist and nudging the box softly into his hands. “For being my favorite customer.”

He shifted uncomfortably to receive the box with both hands. It was an unfamiliar concept for him to be anyone’s favorite anything.

“Good night, Mr. Kento.” Tiana’s voice had an amused lilt to it. Nanami must’ve stood there frozen because she was already halfway through her door, a knowing smile on her lips.

He regained his composure and mumbled back a formal “Good night, Miss. Tiana,” —her name a bit alien on his tongue—before retreating back inside.

When the door shut behind him, he immediately shed his suit jacket. His body was much too warm despite one side being wet; his collar much too tight, despite his lack of tie.

Nanami stared at the assortment of pastries that Tiana had given to him. He couldn’t recall the last time he willingly ate dessert though he assumed if he had, it would’ve probably been with Gojo and his infantile palate.

Truthfully, Nanami didn’t really like sweets at all. The first time he bought those beignets, he’d just picked up the first thing in line that day and just…never stopped buying it. Over the past weeks, he’d amassed a bevy of unopened bags of the foreign confection and they were occupying the much-needed counter space of his kitchen. 

It was rather ironic for an investment advisor to be so frivolous with his money. Spending on foods he didn’t even eat when was supposed to be saving it didn’t make any sort of financial sense. He had been planning to retire by 40, and now he’d have to add an extra 5 years to his projections over mere fried dough.

Nanami turned over the yellow business card for “Tiana’s Place” that he had found wedged in the box. A simple “Bon Appétit ;) -T.” was written on the back.

He picked up a beignet from the box and took a bite—It was made for him, after all. He chewed it slowly, the consistency not too far off from that of a baguette. It wasn’t too sweet, either. In fact, it was…delicious? Better than any dessert he’s had before. Maybe everything he’d tried before this was just a crude imitation, a poor excuse for the craft of baking. 

Perhaps he did like sweets or even dessert right before bed. Maybe he didn’t even mind that he wouldn’t be getting his full 8 hours of sleep. If he concentrated hard enough, her faint humming as she got ready for bed filled the silence of his apartment. He could stay up even longer if at all possible.

When he finally closed his eyes, a rush of different kinds of thoughts flooded his mind. 

Some were more mundane: Maybe I’ll have a beignet for breakfast or It’s probably going to rain tomorrow. 

Some were imaginations: plump glossy lips curved in an oversweet smile meant solely for him. His fingers gently tucking that bothersome tendril of hair behind her ear. 

He finally drifted to sleep with one last thought just as simple as the others, a tiny hope that she would forget her umbrella again.

*A/N: Tiana’s words sound like a literal translation/unnatural because she’s a non-native speaker ex. “you saved my life” vs a more natural/colloquial “you’re a lifesaver”

©️ blackreaderfics // credit to cafekitsune for the dividers

[fyexo]

mpst | do not edit.

[teaandjumpers]

hello friend! adore you and adore your fics!!! was wondering what other wips or fic ideas you might have planned or been stewing on for this coming 2025 out of total curiosity? been obsessed with your fic ideas i absolutely love your takes on these different prompts (the professor-wan and uni assistant anakin has been a reading bug for me personally) and i just adore you as a writer! would love to hear more about what you’re thinking so long as you’re comfortable sharing

Hello! Thank you so much for the kind words and the ask! I have two WIPs in motion right now.

The first is a Karate AU where Obi-Wan reunites with Anakin who was his former karate student. His son, Cal, has been enrolled in karate classes for some time, but Obi-Wan wasn't aware that Anakin was Cal's teacher (someone else was in charge of drop-off and pick-up).

Anakin teaches part-time while he goes to school for an engineering degree, and Obi-Wan is an instructor at a different university. I'm thinking UC Irvine and UCLA respectively. They get together, but tension arises bc Obi-Wan's ex, Satine, is running for mayor and Obi-Wan dating someone considerably younger than him, not to mention a former student, is not good for PR!

I'm picturing scenes in Obi-Wan's posh LA condo and Anakin's tiny townhouse in Reseda that he shares with his mom (they don't really have townhomes in Reseda and the commute to Irvine is a beast but oh well).

There will be little to no actual karate though because I don't know a thing about it apart from what I've seen in Karate Kid and Cobra Kai lol.

My other WIP is an undercover fic, but it's longer and still in the brainstorming stages and I need to work on some fluff before delving into another angsty fic!

[sos717]

Hey tmj girl here (just call me Kay LMAOO😭😭) but OMG ur account feels like a breath of fresh air. I adore the thorough explanations you always give I’m just in awe ur amazing thank you. I’m gonna take ur advice and try not to rely on ur account too much haha. But just one last question— due to some severe anxiety I let my college situation go into flames and now I might not have a dorm and I can’t afford to commute. I am trying to not react and behave as a person rather my awareness and take ur advice or “pointers” but I’m dreading the email that’ll tell me I screwed it. I want a miracle and a perfect dorm with a nice roommate but idk I feel like it’s too late. How do I stop fearing my reality and letting it control me? It always feels fake when I try I assume control and then it ends up screwing me in the end. Thank you sooooo freakin much for everything.

Alright so, HEY TMJJJJ (I’m Playing 😭😭) firstly thank you so much for the kind words I rlly love talking to you guys

Hey Kay, I understand the situation your in might feel incredibly debilitating, trust me I’ve had my own that worked out how I wanted them to.

So I don’t want you to confuse yourself as awarness like it’s another person, like it’s another being and it’s perceiving everything seperate from it. Awarness is the entire experience, it appears as everything, you can feel anxious, you can feel however you want and let it out, it’s okay! I’d rather you do that actually because no one deserve to feel bad. Okay moving forward. You are, everything, so anything realized, is what you appear as, instantly, like a hundred dollars, the awareness of it, is not seperate from the 100$, it appears as it. Hope this is a little more clear. I think this is why I like using the world realized. The realization of $100 is the experience. You are everything.

Like how clay can appear as a pot, but it’s still clay, see?

So your situation is absolutely nothing to worry about. First just pick the outcome you want, make 1 or 2 things that help you realize that truth and understand, this is now the world. If it’s “my college situation worked out so well”, then I need you to realize, this is it. In the same way you can effortlessly realize “my college situation is in flames”. One statement is not more true than the other, they exist labelless, not good or bad, but just an idea, an option. The “existence” of your college situation working out perfectly instantly is what you appear as the moment it’s realized. Don’t worry about a single thing okay? (Or do, it doesn’t change the fact that your god) I want you to realize that you are already past it all, you have that nice roommate, you have that perfect miracle, you are the only one who can validate that. If you want to validate a situation you don’t find comfort in, understand you don’t stop being god so that is what you appear as. This realization of anything is the existence and experience of it, nothing more to do.

I hope this helped you, pls lmk if you have more questions.

[leo-gold-hotchner]

Remember when Hotch and I were chosen to take a train for an investigation of a recent case, posing as colleagues who always use a train to commute together?

"F/N." Hotch called me, and I hummed. "Do you want to hold hands?" He said casually as if he was asking, 'do you wanna coffee?'

And there, me actually thinking casually like I was answering 'do you wanna coffee?'

"Yeah."

And we held our hands. Just like that. As if we were casually talking about coffee!

-----------

"What's wrong with you and coffee?" JJ laughs along with my other friends.

"What?" I look at them weirdly.

"You have a beef with coffee?" Derek grins.

"Hey, it's a figure of speech, 'kay?" I roll my eyes.

"Forget about the coffee," Emily throws her pen.

"The important thing is, you and Hotch," Penelope slaps my desk enthusiastically.

"Me and him?"

"Yes!" JJ, Emily, and Penelope chorus in unison while Derek nods beside Emily and Spencer, watching the scene interestingly.

"What about it?"

"Don't play innocence, F/N," Dave wags his finger in front of my eyes. "Between you and Aaron."

Before I could protest or even retort, someone put their hand on my shoulder. As soon as I hear him talking, my heart skips.

"Stop harassing F/N," Aaron warns the team. "Let's go, F/N."

Without saying a word, I gather all my stuff and stand next to Aaron. Dave raises his eyebrows, and Aaron smirks at his mentor.

Aaron and I turn and leave the office. We laugh as we hear our friends' 'wooo' sounds.

"Children, aren't they?" Aaron chuckles.

"As long as JJ doesn’t sing that sitting on the tree song, it's okay," I laugh.

[kaissatou]

OMG I just saw your post that you’d like to write things for keiji and kai and it made me so happy because they’re my favorite as well 😆

I’d love to know what is their love language, and how would they demonstrate their feelings towards us (in a slow burn type of way? idk I’m not very creative 😭) or maybe how a first kiss would be? any kind of fluff is amazing to b honest there’s not much content of them anywhere :(

kisses to u! s2

hi nonnie ♡ there isn’t a huge fan base on here so i’m glad this is not only feeding into my delusions but yours also 𓂃۶ৎ

i’ll do kai’s part soon! ❀ contains a teeny bit of smut but mostly fluff (18+) afab!reader

Keiji is a very composed and collected presence in your life, his dominant aura lulling you into a sense of security. Knowing that he’s keeping you safe is enough to melt his worries away, (at least for the moment)

Keiji Shinogi, throughout the span of his life has never been known to be an overly touchy person, and you wouldn’t say that it had changed now either. Keijis the type of lover to keep a hand tucked around your waist or on the small of your back when you’re out in public, not to be possessive, (well not completely) but also to keep himself grounded to reality, feeling the rise and the fall of your soft skin, rubbing his thumb against your skin to imprint the character of you into his brain.

Unlike Joe, he doesn’t bombard you with his affection. Keiji has a habit of kissing your forehead, whether he’s just passing by you in the hallway, cooking with you in the kitchen or lulling you to sleep against his hard chest and wrapped in his loose embrace, he’s kissing your forehead.

Keiji’s not very good at expressing his feelings verbally, (though he promises you he’s trying on it.) While he can read you like a book, not much meets the eye with Keiji. In the beginning of your relationship, and throughout your blossoming friendship), he was never one to express much emotion, preferring to listen to your problems over bothering you with his. Due to his past, it takes him a while to properly open up to you, rather avoiding his problems with snarky jokes that don’t provide any insight. You know it’s nothing personal, as he shows his affection to you in different ways.

On Keijis later nights at the station, during his commute home he stops at the local florist, just to come home with a big bouquet of red roses as an apology for staying overtime. If you’ve fell asleep while waiting for him, he’ll wake you up with a kiss to your forehead and a gentle finger stroking your cheek, leaning so close to you that you can still smell the hint of coffee on his breath, and his overbearing eyebags. Even when he’s exhausted, he’ll make time for you.

𓂃۶ৎ Even in your sleep induced state, you notice it almost immediately. Reaching out a hand for him, you murmur, “You look so tired.”

“Don’t worry that pretty head of yours,” though he leans into your touch in acceptance, closing his eyes once your soft palm touches the soft of his cheek. “Leave that to me.”

He quickly composes himself and stands back up, scratching the nape of his neck. You fiddle with the blankets and try to sit up, to which he immediately tuts and shakes his head. He gently pushes the cover back over your shoulders, which you take as a signal to stay put. He reaches over for something on the bedside table, a mysterious item that you hadn’t even noticed, until he was holding it up to you in admiration. It was a bouquet of fresh roses. “Got these for you, wahaha.”

He’ll never admit that he struggles to take care of himself, so you’ll help him out wordlessly. If you know he’s working late, you’ll leave a portion of dinner on the kitchen counter for him, with a little note adorned with a smiley face and a heart, because there’s no way that he’d make dinner for himself before attending to any needs of yours.

Keiji has a strict schedule that he likes to follow c which is very hard on his body and mind, though he’ll never believe it himself. On his occasional days off, the night before you’ll turn his set alarm off, letting him sleep on and getting his well deserved rest. He’ll complain in the morning, but the softness in his eyes lets you know he appreciated it, and that he appreciates you.

Your first kiss with Keiji wasn’t exactly a memorable moment. You had both been friends (with undeniable tension) for a good while or so, and after one late night out, it all just piled up. Keiji had never been a drinker, but he also didn’t have a distaste for it. However, to fulfill his duties as a friendly policeman he much preferred to prioritise yours, and your mutual friends safety over the calming buzz of whatever fancy drinks in the bar you had commuted to served.

𓂃۶ৎ “You never told me Alice could sing too,” you mumble drunkenly as he unlocks the door of your apartment after ruffling through your bag for your keys. You lean stumble into the confines of your apartment the second he successfully gets the door open.

Tonight wasn’t too much different from your usual group outings. However, feeling comfortable on your presence Keiji had decided to indulge in a few beers, the buzz pleasant but not overpowering. He sets your bag down on the counter, putting your keys in the designated pot. He turns his attention back to you as your heels clatter down as you settle on the couch.

“You never asked,” he muses, a smile on his lips. He kneels beside you, gently holding your leg in place as he easily undoes the buckle. He rubs his finger over the mark left by the tight strap, which to you feels oddly intimate for just two friends. “Hey, easy,” his voice is calming as he notices your leg jerk slightly.

He’s getting up and heading to the door before you can react and stop him, shoving his hands in his pockets. You quickly stumble up after him. “How are you going to get home?” You look up at him, eyes wide and glimmering with hope.

He isn’t exactly sure himself. It’s too far of a walk, and he’s not sure if busses even run this late. “I’ll figure something out.” Which isn’t a lie. He always does manage to figure something out, but it’s never really practical.

“Stay,” so he does. But he won’t kiss you. Not yet.

He waits until the next morning, when you’re sober. You wake up to the pleasant smell of coffee and honey, rendering you confused until you remember the events of the night before, shuffling to the kitchen. You senses your presence before you speak, turning to you with a wryly grin. He doesn’t have a hair out of place, but you’re quite the opposite. You’re disheleved, your hair messy and makeup running. But to him, you’ve never looked more beautiful.

And that’s when he’ll finally kiss you. After he’s fed you a good made breakfast (it’s not perfect, he’s no chef like Kai. But it’s from him, and that’s all that matters.) His kiss is gentle but firm, his lips chapped and rough but also so soft at the same time, sending your brain into overdrive. One of his hands caresses your neck, the other tangled in loose strands of your hair. His kiss is passionate, and so, so loving.

After months of pining, you can finally call him yours. Despite his desires, Keiji will wait for you to bring up sex first. He’d rather you be comfortable around him, rather than rushing you into anything. And when you’re finally ready, he’ll savour every moment of it. Keiji’s a pretty vanilla guy in bed, due to his trauma and past as a policeman. He’s adores making love to you, and he’d never want to lay a finger on you, even if it was consensual. He’d never want to hurt you.

Keiji talks you through it. If you’re being too loud, he’ll shush you, pressing a finger against your lips to muffle your cries. He’ll have you bent over in a mating press, rubbing your clit in tight, firm circles, his other hand on your slips. He’ll slide his fingers into the slight parting of your lips when you let out a harsh whine, letting your lips close against his thick digits and suck. He thrusts them a few times, getting them nice and wet before pulling out and wiping them against your cheek.

And when he finally fucks you, it’s so good. He eases you through the biiiig stretch, murmuring words of praise and adoration. Your mushy pussy is stretching its walls to accept him in, pulling him deeper with each little thrust or movement, encasing him within your walls. He whispers some more praise then presses his hips forward with such harness that has your head nearly hitting the headboard of your creaky bed, mewls and moans escaping your lips like a broken record.

He’s not touchy in a public, but it’s a whole different scenario when he’s got you like putty beneath him. He’ll rub his hands all over your frame and encase every little feature to his mind, kissing, sucking and even biting mercilessly at your skin, leaving marks and indents of him.

He doesn’t bother quieting you down anymore. Situated deep inside your gooey pussy, your neighbours complaints are his last worry. He’s the neighbourhoods friendly policeman. They’ll understand, surely?

[itgirlgyu]

MARMALADE MEMORIES

pairing : huening kai x fem! reader.

genre : best friend to lovers, mutual pining, idiots in love, fluff.

synopsis: under the melting sun of a nameless summer, you find out that the person who you call your best friend, and whom you once had fallen in love with , didn't in fact want your prized acorn paper weight, but your heart.

wc: 3.9k+

warning: huening kai is referred as a sadist and bastard multiple times, there is mention of a threat concerning a plastic fork and hyuka's nose, hyuka mentions his own balls, beomgyu, reader gets a concussion, hospital and bad example of physics.

a/n! heh my first one shot! stay tuned for the next one next year (jk) or am i

The swing still squeaked like it did every evening of those idyllic years of past; perhaps even more now, only a few years later. The shrill sound melting into the last breath of the light of the day, mixing itself with the palette of sunset, one that you both had savored together years later. Oddly wistful, if you had to put a word to that feeling. The buzzing warmth warbled at the pit of the stomach would definitely conquer the one of the diminishing bright star above. Although it's quite unclear to you whether it was the nostalgia of the ear-splitting noise of the unoiled metal clanging together that made you feel this way, or it was your best friend’s laughter that was one pitch away from over taking the invincible of swing that has been here since the buttcrack of 90’s.

“Never thought this old, rusty swing would bring so many memories,” Huening Kai exclaimed, eyes turning into the crescent’s that mirrored the one in the sky. Like a kid he had been clutching onto the metal grips of the swing, trying to get himself to sway as much as he could despite now being double the size of the swing set himself.

“Push me!” He added in with urgency, feets swinging in a childish tempo instantaneously teleporting him to the early years of his life when this very place was one of his daily commutes, despite all the jumbled brew of all sort of emotion a teenage boy can go through at the common playground of the society, only the sweeter of the bunch displayed on the apple of his rosy cheeks, and the lowkey questionable giggle that gurgled out of his mouth. All in the name of good nostalgia, you hoped. 

"Fine!" You got up, wiping your hands onto the fabric of the skirt you were wearing, "Me next, though." You quickly threw in the condition. 

The man kept his mouth shut, pretending to not hear what his best friend had said, earning a tug on his ear. 

"Sure, sure!" Huening Kai winced in pain, prying your fingers off his ear, praying to his lord that none of your fingernails would catch onto his piercings and tug a few out; It had always been his biggest fear, once he got them pierced a few weeks ago.

You narrowed your eyes, but quietly took the place behind the man, placing your hands onto the metal chain attaching the seat to the pole, just above his fists, which tightened in anticipation. 

"You know after all this time I thought you'd calm your violent outbursts a little." Huening Kai raised his feet above the ground to increase the velocity of the push, meanwhile you closed the proximity between the two of you as you brought your face next to his, trying to look at him in the eyes from standing behind him, nearing the stage of becoming cross eyed just to show the seriousness of the demand of the next turn being yours. 

Huening Kai stopped breathing for a second at the interaction, the warmth from his cheeks radiating to his ear, urging him into deluding himself with the idea of the recent tugging of his ear being the cause of its turning into an embarrassing shade of red rather than having his best friend so close to him; he could have turned to his side just a little to close that shy little gap between them, which is exactly why he started to getting a cramp on his neck from the fear of moving at any direction and causing the unthinkable. 

"I will push you too! No need to threaten me, geez!" He pulled his head in front of him, he might have looked like a duck but it was better than whatever the other options were. 

"Good boy." You patted the top of his head, and pulled him back with all your might while stumbling backwards, making Huening Kai chortle joyfully like a kid in a toy store. 

"Do you remember the time you chased me to this playground with a fork in your hand—STAND BACK! FAR!" Huening Kai yelled out, cautioning to get away in order to avoid the hit of the swing if he swung too far, hardly thinking it would, but both of you hadn't been the best at physics nor math and it would just be better for everyone if they maintained a safe distance. 

You stepped a few feet away and sighed. 

"That happened?" you lied confidently, trying to sound shocked and waver him off as you pulled back the seat, Huening Kai advised that it would give you better grip for a higher swing, and let go once again. 

It had been only a few days since the two of you had met, acquainted, and fought when the murder attempt was made, and it was merely because he had taken your homework with him  and went away for a get away with his parents which resulted in quite some trouble for you. And for that reason to this day, you do not regret threatening the man with that plastic fork which you said you would have generously shoved up one of his nostrils, and fetch it back from the other one. 

Plus it started their beautiful friendship that transcended all those years. 

"YES!" Huening Kai exclaimed, turning back to look at your face from high above the ground, "It was a plastic fork though."

"Don't really remember." You murmured, avoiding eye contact with the victim of the heinous crime. Huening Kai chuckled and shook his head, and turned back before whining to go a little bit faster. 

"Do you remember the time when I wanted your acorn paper weight?" He asked quietly, playing the entire scenario of how it took place in the hallway of their school. 

"And then we met here to trade." 

You nodded even though Huening Kai had no way of seeing your non verbal confirmation, " I was so surprised when you asked for it, like it was a paper weight." laughter bubbled at the back of your throat as you rewinded the memory of an awkwardly tall, sheepish boy eyeing the acorn paper weight with such determination. 

"It was pretty…" 

"And that sticker book!" You gasped, leaning on one of the handles Huening Kai had been holding onto, "It had all my favorite animes!" 

You giggled triumphantly, the years old exultation still making you giddy to this day, "I think I got a better end of the deal than you and your sad acorn!" 

"Loser!" You added with an exaggerated evil laugher. 

Huening Kai carelessly nodded, soaking in all of the fervorous cadence you offered, blissfully unaware of the eyes that were fixated on you; the movement long forgotten as Huening Kai opened the box of nostalgia. Handpicking each and every story that was made in this playground, and replaying it in front of them like a movie of a lifetime. 

Oblivious to himself, he had been smiling up to you; the marmalade sunset melting the brown into his eyes and trickling like honey onto his cheeks, staining them oh so sweet. 

"Do you remember the time you gave me a rose?" He pondered out loud. 

"What a way to crash the nostalgia train, shithead." 

Of course You remember, who could forget their first confession no matter how bad it went. Especially when it went inexplicably bad; the worst! But what was even more worse than worst, if that is possible (It was in this case), was the fact it had been Huening Kai, who you had confessed to. It sends you cold shivers that you still remember that day as clear as a sunny day. 

"Sure I called you a loser," You sighed, "You didn't have to repay me with that blow." 

You wondered whether her best friend had been a closeted sadist all these while. 

"I didn't murder anything nor did I blow you with anything," He reasoned, turning his bottom into the seat to face you a little bit more, the inane smile had been replaced by a dinky frown, "I just asked you whether you remember it or not." 

"Woah," You wheezed, "You're so cold hearted." 

Huening Kai rolled his eyes waiting for you to get over the drama and reply to him, which you did, "Yeah." 

"You're such a bastard, you want me to talk about it, don't you?" You put your hand on his head and yanked a fistful in rage, but let go soon enough when you saw a few of his bleached hair coming out; you didn't wanna be known as a the crazy lady who made a hole into her crush's head after he had rejected her years prior. 

Huening Kai's hands flew to his crown in a panicked rush as early hair loss flashed before his eyes, letting out a sigh of relief when he did not see a patch of his yellow hair on your hands. He relaxed his shoulders, and leaned back on the other handle. 

"Yes please," He pleaded with a smirk, "Tell me all about it." 

One demonic shriek and three earth shattering convulsions later, you were ready to indulge into the revelatory experience you had at the beginning of your teenage years, and be done with the ridiculous life experience that haunted every night of those ripe years full of opportunities.

"I confessed to you," You murmured quickly, flitting your eyes everywhere except for the pair that were gazing into hers with a minuscule citrusy smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. You hated that dumb face he made; You despised the actuality of the little beat that your heart skipped in that moment. 

You found him smiling up at you when the shame died down just a bit, "I didn't quite catch you, can you repeat that?" 

"The only thing you'd be catching is," You held up a clenched fist, "this." 

Huening Kai's cautiously touched the knuckled of your closed fist pushed it down as if he were testing the water, his gaze cavorting from your deadpanned eyes to your tiny fist that is now at half the height you had raised it at first without any visible scratches on him: always a good sign to go on. 

"You heard me," 

"No, I did not." 

"You-" You calmed yourself, snatching your fist away from the tip of his fingers that had been lingering on your knuckles despite the danger being out of question, you pointed your index finger at him, and then put it down. Your cheeks turning into the rouge of the rose you had shoved into his hands and left a few summers before. 

"Anyway, whatever!" You explained, your hands capering around in the air, as Huening Kai watched with an amused smile that only increased in sizes as the second keys in the clock ticked away, "So I liked you!" 

"Only a little," You clarified. 

"Pfft," Huening Kai snickered, sitting up properly, further diminishing the distance between you two. He could see himself in your eyes, "You're lying." 

"You shoved a single rose in my hand, muttered something like, I like you I guess and just booked it." He explained, reciting it exactly as it happened, word to word. Which meant only one thing, he remembered everything. Sure, he hadn't comically been hit by a car and lost his memories but You hadn't expected him to remember it as vividly as you did, that too from the perspective of the person who had not embarrassed himself in front of a person they had a crush on. 

"Don't remind me," You slipped further onto the chain, somehow mimicking an otter pop in the summer heat after being in the hands of an hyperactive toddler for more than five minutes, " You never answered me back either." 

"That's because I didn't get a single word that you told me, until I spent some time on the way your lips moved and what sounds that you made could be translated into words." Huening Kai chuckled, the memories of a younger him trying to impersonate his best friend and make those sounds to figure out what you had said was still as fresh as it had been yesterday. 

"Still not an excuse," You sulked, "We had school together." 

Huening Kai nodded in agreement, with his lips pursed and his eyebrows bunched together to come up with a feasible fib, "we did," 

"Perhaps I was shy?" 

You rolled your eyes the exact moment an abrupt gush of wind gently brushed the silken web of dark hair away from your face, the sheen of burning sun shining onto your cheeks.

“You and shy?” You cocked your head to the side and leaned in closer. Huening Kai’s oxygen intake was immediately endangered when the nearness between your heads was less than mere five inches. Huening Kai blinked; once, twice. He had hoped providing a few seconds might remind you of the unseen boundary of friendship you had crossed, once again. Just as bravely done as you had done four years ago.

“Stop kidding me,” You broke the silence, finally retreating your head. Huening Kai was awfully confused: you sighed, and went to sit in the swing adjacent to his, Huening Kai’s eyes never leaving you.

“ You probably thought it was a joke or something,” You drawled, “and it’s okay you know?”

Huening Kai knows it's not okay. He could tell that from the way your eyebrows were furrowed together, and that etch of frown that marred your glow. Huening Kai hoped it wasn't okay. It was selfish of him to wish that but the boyish feelings he had harbored for you way before yours even began to flutter, turned him into one of those emerald tactless monsters.

“It's okay if you didn't like me back.” 

Huening Kai internally groaned: he was going insane. The soft, pitiful tone you spoke in only added fuel to the hell fire that was already burning inside of his heart. He couldn’t blame it on the fried oreo Beomgyu had stuffed down his throat anymore. He might have been a coward years ago, but now his balls were all grown and ready to be used.

“Not true,” Huening Kai murmured, dragging himself across the steel seat to face the front.

“Very true,” You snapped back.

“You couldn’t have been further from the truth,’ Huening Kai snorted, avoiding your flaming eyes, sending you more death threats than a wounded fan at their bias’s wedding.

“Okay so you were madly in love with me? Ooh you would've died for me," You mocked him, but as though Huening Kai was hell bent on embarrassing the shit out of you, that bastard nodded at the ridiculous rumor you made up on that spot.

“Now that’s some good ol’ truth.”

“Nobody talks like that old guy!” You were mad; You were furious, your nostrils were flaring as though they had a life of their own and those lives were very stressful. It might have been years since you got ditched, but that was still your first actual in person crush, which remained unclear and now the offender of that deplorable act is sitting beside you and committing perjury. You could break his skull open.

Without a word, Huening Kai turned around meeting your accusatory eyes. His ones were serene, melting like candle wax, shimmering like the reflection of moon in a constant wavering lake, meanwhile yours were smokey, cautious and hurt clouding the pupil in iridescent droplets. You opened your mouth to plead, but nothing came out.

‘Don’t look at me like that,’ was what you wanted to say. 

It was bizarre; insane actually how some gymnastic that snuck into your stomach was doing somersaults, like a whole butterfly convention letting all of them out in your gut. It was weird, because you had this exact torture executed on you years ago, on the command of this exact man.

“I wanted to tell you something that day,” Huening Kai began, breaking the harrowing eye contact that immured you, allowing you to breathe at last.

“I liked you,” Huening Kai confessed, letting out a breath of relief. The tingling sensation that erupted beneath his skin, electrifying him to the core. Despite the fear that laundered his entirety, it was freeing at last.

Although the same couldn’t have been said for you..

“I probably liked you before you did,” Huening Kai chuckled, throwing a side glance towards you, briefly catching the blanched appearance you adapted.

“You're pulling my leg.” You stated in a shaken tone, but it was just as quickly refuted by Huening Kai who shook his head.

“Do you think I’ve watched an episode of cardcaptor sakura in my life?” Huening Kai questioned, “Or inuyasha?”

Huening Kai was right: It had always been you who was a big fan of all those shows in that book. You didn't even know whether Huening Kai was even remotely aware of them except you mentioning them once in a while,yet the sticker book was filled with the obsessions you had rambled away to your heart's content.

It wasn't good, it wasn't good at all. The way Huening Kai looked at you; it made your heart skip beats like the first time you had figured out your irrational behavior, and palpitations were because of him. As though someone had turned back the clock, and they were back in the year and your biggest wish was for him to love you back. 

You shook your head, "But you," you murmured, closing your eyes to collect yourself, "But I thought you wanted my acorn!" 

Huening Kai was beside you in silence, trying to process what his best friend, and allegedly (according to you, it was still alleged) crush had said, before erupting in a fit of hysterical laughter. He pulled his head backwards, flinging his black locks along with him, clutching onto the metal chains to prevent himself from toppling over, all while you stared at him as if he had just smoked some green leaves. 

"You really are dense," He sputtered out in difficulty through his laughter, "I wanted a reason, not your acorn!" 

You opened your mouth to defend but closed it realizing you had nothing to put forth as evidence while blissfully ignoring the biggest lead for you to win the case. You slumped onto your uncomfortable metal plate of the swing, which was starting to hurt your tailbone, while slowly soaking in the new information from years prior that could have, frankly, changed the trajectory of your life. 

Your first love could have been fulfilled. 

"Why didn't you answer me back when I said I liked you?" You questioned, springing up from your slouched position, pointing an accusatory finger at Huening Kai.  

"I-" Huening Kai stammered; at this age, he had no idea why he had just ignored that completely despite sharing those feelings. A look of defeat washed over his features, his head lolling downwards in a wave of shame that washed over him upon remembering what a candy-ass he had been in front of you. 

"I am sorry," He apologized, "I guess, I was taken aback." 

"So you're saying we could have dated in school?" You wondered out loud, pushing kicking the ground to swing yourself as high as you could. It felt funny in your gut knowing that your one sided high school love affair wasn't as bad as you had cursed it for so long, although quite a bit unfortunate. No one ever told you that discovering that your old crush, with whom you had no luck getting together with now, was actually interested in you too. 

"It's kinda weird now, don't you think?" You added, turning to look at Huening Kai who never stopped staring at the soaring girl; glowing brighter than the moon that had embraced the navy sky. 

“Why weird?” Huening Kai queried, stretching his arms before standing up and walking behind you, hoping to return the favor he had promised you.

“It’s just,” You paused when Huening Kai’s hands grabbed onto your shoulders to prevent you from crashing into him. Myriad of stars detonated behind your closed eyes; Heart racing as though it is being chased by something that would guarantee it from ever beating, thumping against the rib cage at a brush of his hand.

Huening Kai murmured a quick apology, moving his hands onto the metal chains. The downside of his closed palms slightly touching your closed fists: an action that wouldn’t have affected you anyway, just ten minutes ago, but now it was a whole different conversation. Huening Kai just broke open Pandora's box, and you were the one suffering.

You were only one step, one innocent touch, away from experiencing all nine stages of grief in front of your ex-cush and current best friend, “Do you think we would have still been together?”

“I would hope so,” Huening Kai answered truthfully, he let go of the swing when felt it was a safe enough distance,”But your boyfriend might not like that idea.”

An impish smile decorated Huening Kai’s lips: he was aware of the fact that you currently had no boyfriend; a fact which you had no idea of. Truthfully he’s just testing the waters.

“I have no boyfriend!” You yelled out from above. Huening Kai smirked, quickly doing a congratulatory fist pump, and fixed his posture, pushing you back up when you came down. Thankfully, he was standing behind you so he didn't have to hide his grin and appear as if someone injected anesthesia into his lips while trying to hide it.

“Do you want one?”

If your heart skimped on doing it’s only one job which essentially runs your body, you might just admit yourself in a cardiac specialized clinic, and stamp the bill onto Huening Kai’s forehead. This time, before he could push you again, you screamed for him to stop and turned back to get a better look at the man.

And that bastard looked as though he was enjoying this. You were  now sure that your ex crush and current best friend is in fact a sadist.

Huening Kai bent down to look you in the eyes, 

"Do you want one?” He repeated his question; this time a little bit slower, a bit more earnest and an amped up sexual appeal which his 16 year self never could even if he plucked up the courage.

You were the first one to break eye contact, as you narrowed your eyes. You got up and stood in front of him, now looking up at him with your arms crossed, before booking it and running out of the playing ground. But in a comical turn of events, you hadn’t noticed the pull up bar in the dark and fell back within a second. If the pain wasn’t enough, the embarrassment was enough reason for you to dig a hole into the ground and bury yourself into it.

“Hey you okay?!”

“You couldn’t wait till I got discharged?” You deadpanned, touching the bandage on your forehead that you had acquired from last night’s mishap. 

“No,” Huening Kai quickly responded before pouting his lips to blow onto the spoonful of soup and took it towards you—which you consumed without any words. He had a content smile on his face, pulling his personal handkerchief out  and wiping the corner of your lips.

“I think for our first date,”  Huening Kai looked around, acknowledging the romantic setting of a plain hospital room, “This is pretty iconic.”

© itgirlgyu. feedbacks are always appreciated!!!

[jezawitha-z]

Life has been really tough lately and idk if i can put it into words. Maraming ganap end ng month of July to mids of August and still trying on how I can share it to my tumblr blog. This kinda a long post and gusto ko balikan itong post one day na masaya, matatag, at lumalaban parin sa buhay.

My heart is full right now as I was able to spend time with the love of my life and his family. Nag church kami kasama parents nya this Sunday lang at di ko talaga napigilang umiyak nung inannounce na yung sa prayer intentions ba yun sa catholic mass. Pinalagay kasi ng mama nya kanina yung name ng mama ko and I was really emotional dahil naaalala ko na naman si nanay. It's been 3 weeks since my mom died and although I'm already coping, di parin talaga maiwasan.

Solid lang din talaga yung support ni bf at mama nya nung mga panahon na yun lalo na emotionally. Sinamahan nya ako magbantay kay nanay since hanggang Thursday lang pasok nya sa work. Yun yung time na nagkaroon ako ng tulog nung nandun na sya at the same time nakakakain na rin dahil walang gana kumain at walang tulog talaga. I'm really thankful din sa mga taong andyan talaga para sakin sa mga panahong akala ko hindi ko kakayanin.

From Cavite - Negros Occidental, naiuwi namin nanay ko dahil andun din talaga halos relatives namin sa side ng nanay ko at para makita na din ng mga kapatid ko for the last time. That was a really tough decision dahil sobrang daming bagay na need iconsider. We're not capable financially dahil ang laki ng gastos kung iuuwi si nanay through airplane man or barko tapos yung per night pa ni nanay sa punerarya.

We're almost in the conclusion of cremation at least yung ashes maiiuwi parin naman sa probinsya. But God is really good na maraming taong tumulong through prayers and financially dahil hanggang ngayon hindi ko maimagine paano namin nalikom yung ganung halaga bigla. Although may nautang din ako but without the help of others, di talaga kakayanin.

Yung bigat ng pakiramdam ko nung mga time na yun sobra sobra talaga. Andito ako sa Pampanga at si nanay naman nasa Cavite. Ako na walang kaalam alam paano mag commute pa Manila or papuntang Cavite pero with God's grace, talagang nagawa ko. Sasakay ng bus na iyak ng iyak, uuwi ng apartment sa Pampanga para umiyak din, babalik na naman ng Cavite another session na naman ng iyak lalo na kapag nakaka receive ako ng mga messages encouraging me to stay strong.

Laging sinasabi ng mama ni bf na for sure happy na rin si nanay sa mga ginawa ko. Malungkot man na for the last time sa mahabang panahon, na ngayon ko lang napakita kung gaano ko sya ka-mahal. My mother was also my best friend, napapagsabihan ko most of my ganap sa buhay dati. Pero may mga bagay na nagkakaconflict kami which leads us na di mag usap for 2 years.

Isinasantabi ko na lahat ng galit ko o tampo sa kanya. Since ako lang yung immediate family nya na andito sa city, halos sakin talaga lahat nakasalalay at bilang panganay na rin. And for the last time, kinausap ko sya and told her na di na ako galit at kahit anong mangyari naman nanay ko parin sya at mahal ko. I also asked for forgiveness because I wasn't a perfect daughter for her and made a decision not to talk to her for a long time. She knows na din naman siguro that I was also in pain sa mga naging desisyon nya that time. Pero nirerespeto ko na din naman yung naging desisyon nya dati kahit na ikakabroken family namin.

Kahit papaano happy na rin naman ako na nakita ko yung tatay ko na alam kong mahal na mahal nya parin si nanay. Although nung unang nalaman nya na wala na si nanay ay sobrang wala syang pake at puro galit or hatred naririnig from him. Pero later on, who would have thought na mag aabot din sya ng malaking halaga ng pera para pandagdag at pumayag din na sa bahay nya iburol si nanay na nung umpisa ayaw na ayaw nya talaga. Sinabihan ko rin naman sya na kahit sa huling pagkakataon nalang, at alam kong pinagsasabihan rin si tatay ng mga kapatid nya na tanggapin, at magpatawad. Nung kadating ng remains ni nanay sa Negros, umiiyak sya at nung mass din, iyak ng iyak din si tatay.

She died due to heart attack at sobrang nakakabigla dahil ang lakas nya lang tingnan, at ang bata pa ng nanay ko. Dahil nga dead on arrival ang nanay, inexplain naman ni Doc nung pina autopsy namin kung bakit nangyari.

And now, I'm already coping and to move forward para na din sa mga kapatid ko. Mahirap pala talaga maging panganay but at the same time, this is such an honor.