#Just casual relationship advice from the last person who should be giving it.

[imagine-iron-fey]

Puck: What if I told you that Ash is a broken man? Ariella: I'd fix him. Puck: I wouldn't. I'd put him in a small box and shake it really hard. Ariella: So you'd break him more? Puck: Honey, have you met his family yet? The man couldn't get more broken if he tried. Believe you me.

[charlesslut16]

-maybe i should stop pretending...-

summary : you are in a relationship and give everything but your partner.... does not, so oscar is there...

PAIRINGS : oscar piastri x fem!reader

WARNINGS : none

note : I hope that you like this and that i did it right, i am so sorry that i forgot to post this, thank you so much for requesting @jude-duarte-wannabe ❤️❄️

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It was the middle of December, and while most of the world was buzzing with the excitement of the holiday season, you found yourself feeling unusually distant from it all.

You had just finished wrapping your last batch of presents for your partner, making sure to pick out the most thoughtful, expensive gifts you could afford. After all, you were always the one putting in the effort. But this year, something felt... off.

Your partner was wonderful in their own way, but their lack of enthusiasm toward your relationship was becoming harder to ignore. You had been giving and giving, buying extravagant gifts, planning special dates, but the love and care were never quite returned. The effort you put into making everything perfect always seemed to go unnoticed, and it was beginning to wear you down.

At least you had Oscar.

Oscar Piastri, your best friend, the one person who had always been there for you. You and Oscar had been friends for years—there wasn’t a time in your life when he hadn’t been by your side, cheering you on, offering advice, and making you laugh when everything felt heavy. You were closer than close, sharing secrets, late-night conversations, and a bond that no one could break.

And yet, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different this year. Oscar had been quieter than usual, his usual teasing replaced with moments of awkward silence. You weren’t sure what it was, but it felt like there was something he wasn’t telling you.

Tonight, you had invited him over to help you decorate your apartment. The tree was up, the fairy lights twinkled around the windows, and the scent of gingerbread filled the air. It was supposed to be festive and fun, but the weight of your emotions was pressing down on you. You wanted everything to be perfect, but you couldn’t escape the gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Oscar, ever the good friend, was hanging ornaments on the tree, clearly trying his best to make light of the mood. He had his signature easygoing smile plastered on his face, but there was something in his eyes that made you wonder if he was feeling the same distance you were.

“So, what’s the plan for Christmas Eve?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder as you finished wrapping a gift.

“I’m spending it with my partner,” you replied, trying to keep your tone neutral. “You?”

“Same,” he answered, his voice a little too casual. You could tell he wasn’t really focused on the question. “You know, you’ve been running around, doing all this stuff for them,” he said, nudging you lightly. “I hope they’re at least appreciative.”

You blinked, surprised by the edge in his tone. “Of course they are,” you said, brushing it off, though you couldn’t ignore the tiny pang in your chest.

“Yeah,” Oscar said softly, his gaze shifting to the floor. “I hope so.”

The conversation lapsed into an awkward silence, and you couldn’t help but wonder if Oscar was picking up on something you hadn’t quite acknowledged yourself. Maybe it was just your overactive imagination, but you could feel the weight of something unspoken between you two.

As the evening went on, the apartment filled with the soft glow of candles and the hum of Christmas music. But no matter how hard you tried to focus on the joy of the season, you kept feeling that emptiness creep up again. It was hard to ignore how you were giving everything to a relationship that didn’t feel reciprocated, and how the one person who truly understood you was just a little too quiet.

Eventually, your partner arrived, a little later than you had expected. They didn’t seem to notice your quiet mood or the lack of enthusiasm in their own demeanor as they entered the room, offering you a half-hearted hug and a quick peck on the cheek.

“Hey,” they said, their tone flat. “Everything looks great. Thanks for all the hard work.”

You forced a smile, but inside, you couldn’t help but feel the distance growing between you. “Of course. I wanted it to be perfect.”

Oscar, noticing the shift in energy, excused himself to grab a drink from the kitchen. You tried to make small talk with your partner, but the conversation felt stiff, like you were both just going through the motions.

Then, a soft voice broke through the tension. Oscar was standing in the doorway, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Well, I think it’s time for the annual mistletoe kiss, don’t you?” he teased, pointing above your head where a sprig of mistletoe hung from the doorframe.

You blinked, caught off guard. “What?”

“Come on,” Oscar said, his smile widening. “You can’t skip out on tradition.”

You laughed awkwardly, but there was a nervous edge to it. You weren’t sure what it was about the mistletoe that suddenly made your heart race. Was it the alcohol in the air? The Christmas music? Or maybe it was just the fact that Oscar was standing so close, his blue eyes glinting with an emotion you couldn’t quite place.

Oscar stepped forward, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder as he bent down, his lips brushing against your cheek. It was a soft, tender gesture, a kiss that lingered just a little longer than usual. Your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, you forgot everything else—the awkwardness, the distance between you and your partner, the emptiness you’d been feeling.

When Oscar pulled back, his expression softened, and you could see a flicker of something in his eyes. Something more than just friendship.

“Alright, alright, no need to make it weird,” he joked, breaking the tension. But there was a softness in his voice now, something that felt different.

As Oscar turned to leave, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had just shifted between you. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your mind racing to process the kiss. It was just a silly tradition, right? Just a joke between friends. But why did it feel so different? And why did it feel like your heart was caught in a vice?

You stood there for a moment, trying to gather yourself. Your partner was talking to you, but you could barely hear their words. Instead, all you could think about was Oscar—the way his lips had brushed against yours, the softness of his touch, the unspoken tension that seemed to hang in the air.

And then, it hit you.

Oscar was in love with you. You’d never seen it before, never realized the depth of his feelings, but it was there, unmistakable in the way he had looked at you after the kiss. The way he had been there for you, time and time again, always putting you first.

But you weren’t sure if you were ready to acknowledge that truth—not with the relationship you were still trying to make work, not when you couldn’t even figure out what you truly wanted.

The rest of the night passed in a blur, but you couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss beneath the mistletoe, the one that had felt like it carried so much more meaning than you’d ever expected.

Maybe, just maybe, it was time to stop pretending.

[queerprayers]

any tips/advice for someone who is not catholic who wants to participate in lent? like how to choose what to give up etc?

Cheers to not letting Catholics have a monopoly on Lent, beloved! Last year I answered a similar ask that might be helpful. Here are the thoughts I have right now!

[CW: discussion of eating/fasting in italics] My most important note/disclaimer: Fasting is not for everyone. It is a beautiful tradition (for Catholics and non-Catholics) that can change people's lives, but if it's going to be a part of your practice, do it on purpose, knowing yourself. It inherently changes your relationship with food--and for people who have always had enough to eat, who have never struggled with disordered eating, who have never been seriously ill, there can be a solidarity and new perspective in fasting, in realizing how sensory experiences and comfort and mortality go together, how privileged you are to have the choice to go hungry. But for those who have struggled with food insecurity, or have lived through/live with eating disorders/disability/illness, or any other experience/relationship with food/the body that changes your perspective, fasting will often be a re-traumatizing or triggering practice that doesn't change your perspective so much as reinforce unhealthy ones. Something I think about: why fast if you cannot feast? Lenten fasting brings us to Easter feasting--if that's not accessible to you, if that wouldn't be joyful or affordable or healthy, fasting probably isn't either. Okay, all that said:

There is so much diversity in what a Lenten practice can look like, and I can't tell you what will be most meaningful for you, but I'll give you some ideas and some questions that have been helpful for me to ask myself! Lent existed way before the Catholic/Protestant divide, and exists among so many diverse communities, and there is a path here for you if you want one.

"Giving up something" is the most common language used for Lent--fasting technically refers to anything abstained from--and generally that's really useful! Jesus's forty days in the wilderness was time that he had nothing but God, and during Lent we can get closer to that experience. I give things up not as punishment or a test of self-control (those ideas trigger unhealthy behavior patterns for me), but as a letting go of something that is in my life but doesn't need to be, and may deserve reconsidering. Sometimes it's a bad habit, but sometimes it's just a conscious allowing of my life to grow simultaneously smaller and bigger. There is space for grief during Lent, but we're not just making ourselves feel bad--I've never found forced emotions to be spiritually helpful. Emotions come and go--we're doing this on purpose, and whatever we feel about it, we make space for that.

Ideas of things to give up:

eating out/getting coffee/buying drinks/little treats

impulse buying/nonessentials (you could pick a category, like clothes, or go all out)

alcohol/drugs/smoking (if this would be starting a recovery journey, I am not the person to ask for advice on that but please do seek help)

social media (you could choose one app to give up, or set time limits--it doesn't have to be all or nothing)

scrolling-on-your-phone time before bed/another time when you get sucked in

another form of casual entertainment (like TV/video games--again, you can limit this rather than cutting it out)

sexual activity (I talked about this here)

makeup/other appearance-related thing (I must confess I have considered doing this and always chickened out. I know that's because it would force me to rethink too many things, which is a probably a sign I should do it one of these years.)

a social habit, like gossiping or getting into arguments online

overscheduling/not having rest days (this is often unavoidable, but rest is necessary and holy, and perhaps this is the season for sacrifice in honor of rest)

single-use plastics/another environmental choice

Note: I don't think any of these things are inherently bad things. This is a list of things we can change/investigate our relationship with or have a season without them as a distraction, not things I think we shouldn't be doing or we should feel bad about.

One of the most important things I've realized is that so often I have given something up and not done anything about it. Like I didn't watch TV for forty days and was mad about it and then Lent was over and I watched TV again. Perhaps this strengthened my self-discipline, or made my life better in a way known only to God, but ultimately nothing happened. I didn't consciously do anything else, I didn't learn anything.

Now, when I give up something, I purposely do something with whatever space it leaves. If I'm not watching TV, what am I going to do when I would usually watch TV? Am I gonna pray? go to bed earlier? call my grandmother? Am I gonna cancel my Netflix subscription for a couple months and donate that saved money? Or maybe I'm gonna give up watching mindless TV, and find stories that resonate and make me think. Don't give things up to check a box, but to reexamine your relationship with them, make everyday things sacred, fill the space/time/money/energy you now have with God, and ultimately to set this time apart.

The other way of looking at Lent practices is things you can add. Often, as I mentioned, they go together--you can pair up something you're no longer buying with somewhere to donate to, or give up an activity and replace it with a new one. I always caution against Lent-as-self-improvement--obviously I can support improving our habits, but I've seen too many people use Lent to restart their new year's workout plans, and while exercise can be a way to care for ourselves, if new year's and Lent are treated the exact same way, what's different about this season? What makes this Lent?

One of the questions I've been asking myself recently is: What are you gonna do about it? When I'm investigating a belief, or learning something new, or reframing an old thought process, I ask myself: What am I gonna do about it? Lent is a path to Holy Week--something I and many others commemorate as the week when God was put on trial and literally killed. I genuinely believe God died and was resurrected--how does this affect my life? Believing something like that and not letting it change you is, to me, inauthentic. When I'm considering a belief, I think, if this were true, how would it change me? Would it lead me to Love? Lent (and Christianity itself) over and over asks us to do something about what we say we believe. Faith without works is dead--and faith is a work, something I do.

It's almost Lent, which is preparation for the Resurrection, which fundamentally changes our understanding of what it means to be alive--so what are you gonna do about it? Not because doing something will make God love you more or make you a "better person," or even because you'll succeed or change your life, but because how can we not? We are of course welcome at Easter having done nothing, but I can't imagine knowing what's coming and not letting it change me.

Ideas of things to add to our lives:

start a prayer/Bible routine--I can now wholeheartedly recommend (as a Protestant who connects with ancient traditions but not always Catholicism) Phyllis Tickle's Divine Hours books! For Bible study, I like The Bible Project's videos.

read a book--it can be anything that connects you with God! (I had a lovely experience with Lenten Lord of the Rings last year, and this year I'm properly going through the Quran)

pick a subject to research (theological or anything else)

start to attend worship services or commit to attending more--this could include going to several different places if you don't currently belong to a church

research places to volunteer for or donate to

do something politically active, like calling your representatives, researching the next local election, or attending a protest

donate to the next [insert number here] posts you see online requesting mutual aid

start a physical practice like taking a walk or stretching

write a letter or call someone regularly, especially with people you've been wanting to connect with more or have unresolved conflict with

start/commit to more regular therapy/other health treatment

ask for help--maybe you're the one who needs mutual aid, or reaching out to, or support cleaning your house or with your kids. there is no shame in this.

These are all obviously things we can be doing year round, and certainly we can use Lent as a season to start something we want to keep with us! I'd also encourage us to have something that's only present during Lent, or something that we do more or in a different way.

You asked how to choose, and I don't have a one sentence answer to that (...obviously), but perhaps in these days before Lent you can look at your routine/habits, the places where God is present, the things you do to distract yourself from life (not a crime--just something to be mindful of), and you can see where Lent might be able to come in and change you. The thing that's nagging at you that you know might be helpful, the thing you're not in control of and just do, the time you take up or the money you spend that might not be bad but also doesn't lead you anywhere. We can't expect every aspect of our lives to be purposeful and present, or to be continuously improving ourselves (in fact, that sounds terribly stressful and unsustainable)--but we can look around us. We can have a season that looks different because everyone I've ever known has a brain that craves ritual in some way--and either we do it on purpose, or we fall into it. Do something (or don't do something) a little more on purpose this season.

Another think to think about is what Sundays will look like for you--the "forty days" don't count them. There's no fasting on Sundays--my mom says every Sunday is a little Easter. "Sundays in Lent" is such an interesting concept because it's very much Lent, but the rhythm of our weeks breaks through. When I give up soda, I'll have one as a celebration on Sundays, but a prayer/reading practice I'll continue through. It's up to you and depends on what your rhythm/habits ask of you.

Ultimately, let God interrupt you. Let Them seep in the cracks of everything you do and let go of. To be loved is to be changed. Even the smallest thing--like wearing a cross necklace every day--can cause our lives to be filled with noticing God's presence. I keep saying to do this on purpose, but know that I find Them much more often by accident.

And an obligatory note: starting Lent late, stopping your practice halfway through, not meeting a goal, whatever comes up--Easter still comes for you. Lent is for paying attention, for making space, not for perfection.

I also want to add that while a lot of Lenten practices (including most I've mentioned here) tend to be personal, ultimately what is asked of us is interpersonal. We make space in our life and be more present in the name of Love--which we cannot do alone. If a practice is not specifically about other people (like volunteering/donating), ask yourself how it will serve the ways you love others? This isn't a trick question, just something to think about. Personally, my study of the Quran this season will connect me with my Muslim siblings through time and enable me to more fully love the Muslims around me, and my rhythm of the divine hours will connect me with the wider Christian community and center me as I go about my day, allowing me to be more present in my relationships.

Easter comes whether we're ready or not--and I don't think we can be ready. But we can look at the small parts of ourselves, set this time apart, see what we can change our relationship with, and perhaps when Easter comes, we will every year have come that much closer to understanding what it means to live out the resurrection by honoring the death that came first.

Wishing you a blessed almost-Lent, and praying for you and your practice (as well as all those reading this)!

<3 Johanna

[lanawinterscigarettes]

hi 💓 I love your writing for serena in that last prompt! May I request a Jenny Humphrey x gn! reader-near s3 where they’re relationship is completely secret (from all the characters and family like rufus dan except maybe eric) because they need to be - bc of either readers identity or reputation or a dark secret between them (not exactly yandere but scandalous)

And this is a personal I love all your writing 🎊

aw thank you so much 🥰 this is more fluffier than anything else but if you ever want something darker or angstier in the future just lemme know! I really hope you like it <3

The Right Person (Jenny Humphrey x gn reader)

Warnings: mentions of sex, the reader was a past drug dealer, kind of a forbidden relationship between the reader and Jenny, brief mentions of drugging, implied/offscreen smut, some slight canon divergence (the reader rescues Jenny from the bar instead of Nate and Jenny loses her virginity to the reader instead of Chuck), they/them pronouns are used in a gender neutral way to refer to the reader

When Serena told Jenny she should wait and give her virginity to someone who really cared about her, she took it to heart. At first she thought Damien would be the perfect person, but then she found someone even better: you.

Despite being an ex-drug dealer yourself, Jenny never judged you for it like most other people did. She saw you for who you truly were, which was a good person who'd fallen into some bad habits.

You were there for her when she broke up with Damien, and you were also there when Agnes drugged her and dumped her off at that bar. Even in her dazed state, even in a crowd full of unfamiliar people, she still saw you, and she trusted you out of everyone.

That trust was not something you took lightly. She expected you to keep her safe, which is exactly what you did. You took her home, helped her get changed, held her hair back while she puked, and comforted her when she began to cry.

To say she was touched by your kindness was an understatement. Jenny wasn't used to people who actually wanted her without getting anything out of it, but you did. It made having to sneak around with you after that even more difficult in her eyes.

Sure, it was certainly easier to let people think she'd slept with Damien since people already knew about them being together rather than introducing you into the mix. Even if you weren't a drug dealer anymore, she knew Rufus and Dan still wouldn't approve.

But part of her so desperately wanted to tell her family, to prove them wrong, to show them you were a good person, even if she knew that would raise more questions that she didn't want to have to answer.

You were one of the only people who knew she hadn't lost her virginity yet, and when you told her it didn't change the way you saw her or who you viewed her as her affection for you only grew even stronger. She had to tell someone, and that someone ended up being Eric. She knew she could trust him to keep a secret.

"I have to tell you something," she began nervously one day when they were hanging out togehter. "And you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay?"

Naturally he was confused, but her firm insistence let him know that this was obviously something important. "Yeah, of course. What's up?"

She explained her relationship with you and the way she felt, and even though she was worried about what he might say she also knew he would never judge her, just like you. He was quiet for a moment once she'd finished, contemplating what she'd just confessed to him before finally asking, "Do you love them?"

Immediately she nodded her head. "I- I do. I really want to be with them. And... I think I want them to be the person I finally give my virginity to."

"Then you should tell them how you feel," he replied casually, as if it were really that simple. Still, it was worth a shot, so she decided to take his advice.

You were a bit surprised when she called to tell you there was something you needed to discuss, but you invited her over regardless, knowing it must be important. The door to your place had just barely been opened when she spoke.

"I want it to be you," she blurted out instantly before quickly rushing to correct herself. "I mean, I want you to be the one who- who, um-"

"Hey," you said in a calm and soothing voice as you reached for her, gently leading her inside as you shut the door. "Take a deep breath, and tell me what's on your mind."

She did as you said, inhaling deeply before letting out a sigh. "I- I want- I want you to be the one who I give my virginity to." She confessed, her cheeks heating up slightly as she spoke.

You were taken back for sure, but you understood where she was coming from. To the best of your knowledge, you were the only person who actually made Jenny feel like she was worth something, like she mattered.

"If that's what you want," you responded softly, your hand still holding hers from when you first let her in. "But I think we should take things slow, okay? I mean, we haven't even had our first kiss yet. And there's nothing wrong with waiting."

She almost wanted to scream at you in frustration, but she knew you were right, and you'd only said that because you wanted her to have the time to think over her decision before finalizing it. Unlike everyone else, you weren't trying to reprimand her for her choice, nor were you treating her like a child. That was one thing she always loved about you.

Although she was a bit reluctant at first to wait, it ended up being one of the best things she ever did, because she got to know you more in the meantime. When you first kissed, you were so sweet and gentle, and you always made sure she was okay with you touching her before doing so.

Despite being nervous for her first time having sex, you laid everything out for her perfectly, telling her that she could stop at any time and that everything was going to be done at her pace. That night was amazing, and when she woke up the next morning to find herself still in your arms that was the happiest she'd ever been.

It was then she knew you were the right person and you always had been, regardless of what her family thought. If they did get mad at her when they found out, so what? They didn't know what this kind of love felt like, and besides that you'd been there when she needed someone, which was more than they could ever say.

"Breakfast?" You asked once you woke up and saw her staring at you, assuming she must be hungry.

"Please," she muttered back, though her arms wrapped around you a bit tighter when you got up to leave the bed. "Stay with me for a little first?"

"Anything for you, sweetheart," you muttered softly before giving her an affectionate kiss on the head, her eyes fluttering shut in a different kind of bliss than the one she'd felt the night before.

You were definitely the right person for her, and this only confirmed it. She could never imagine being with anyone else after you.

End notes: I really don't know if this is any good or not if it completely sucks I'm sorry 😭 I can always do a part two where her family finds out about the relationship if you want though

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[dreamgirlvibes]

Types of men to avoid? 🚩(advice for the girlies). 🫶

Alright, girlies, here’s the scoop on the types of men you should be dodging like a bad Wi-Fi signal:

1. The Gaslighter – If you’re constantly questioning your own reality or feeling like you're always in the wrong, run. No one needs that kind of mind game.

Example: You get into a small argument about something trivial, like him canceling plans last minute. He turns it around on you, saying, “You always overreact. I didn’t cancel, you’re just being dramatic. I don’t know why you can’t let things go.”

This guy makes you question your own feelings, reality, or memory. He’ll twist situations to make you feel crazy or insecure. Over time, you start doubting your instincts because he's so good at flipping the script.

2. The “Not Ready” Guy– He’s always “working on himself” or “not ready for anything serious.” News flash: if he’s been saying that for a year, he’s probably just not ready *for you*.

Example: You’ve been dating for months, and every time you bring up the future, he says, “I’m not ready for anything serious right now, but I’m having fun with you.” He might add, “I’m focusing on my career” or “I’ve been hurt before.”

This man keeps you around because he likes the attention or the companionship, but he’s never ready for a real commitment. It’s like he’s stuck in perpetual "casual" mode—don’t waste your time waiting for him to magically decide to change.

3. The Emotional Brick Wall– If opening up to him feels like talking to a brick wall, it’s time to bounce. You deserve someone who can actually talk about feelings, not just grunt and change the subject.

Example: You open up about something important, like feeling stressed at work or dealing with a personal issue. He either shuts down with one-word answers, like “That’s crazy,” or says, “You’ll be fine” and changes the topic to something trivial like sports or the latest meme.

This guy is emotionally unavailable. He’s not into sharing feelings or connecting on a deeper level, which makes you feel isolated and unsupported. Relationships need emotional depth—without it, you’re just coexisting.

4. The Jealous Control Freak– If he’s constantly checking your location, questioning your friends, or giving you side-eye every time you talk to someone, that’s not love, it’s insecurity. Run before you need a restraining order.

Example: You mention hanging out with a male friend from work, and suddenly he’s on your phone, demanding to know exactly what the conversation was about, who else was there, and why you weren’t home at 10 PM sharp. If you’re out with friends, he’ll text nonstop asking where you are or who you’re with.

This guy sees your independence as a threat. His jealousy can be disguised as “caring,” but it’s really about him trying to control where you go, who you talk to, and how you spend your time. It’s exhausting and suffocating, and it’ll only get worse.

5. The “I’m Fixed” Guy – If he’s got zero interest in growing, changing, or taking responsibility for his mess, he’s not a catch—he’s just a project. And no, you’re not his therapist.

Example: He’s been through a series of toxic relationships and has a ton of baggage, but when you try to talk about growth or therapy, he’s all like, “Nah, I’m fine. I don’t need help, I just need a woman who gets me.”

He’s convinced that he’s already healed or doesn’t need to work on himself. But he’s emotionally stuck, blaming his exes or the world for his problems. He’ll drag you into his mess and make you feel responsible for his emotional growth—or lack thereof.

6. The Ghoster – He’s hot one minute, gone the next. If he’s treating you like a Snapchat story—popping in and disappearing without a trace—it’s time to hit the delete button.

He disappears when things get a little serious or he gets bored, only to reappear when he wants attention. It’s a cycle of inconsistency that leaves you questioning your worth and wondering if you’re ever actually a priority in his life.

Example: He’s super hot and cold. One day, he’s sending you sweet texts and making plans for the weekend. The next, he’s gone without a trace for days. You text him asking what's up, and he replies with something vague like, “Sorry, been busy with life.”

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Bottom line: Don’t settle for someone who makes you feel anything less than valued and respected. Avoid guys who make you feel less than you deserve. A healthy relationship should feel secure, supportive, and balanced, not full of manipulation, confusion, or control. Don’t let anyone treat you as an afterthought—you deserve someone who’s genuinely in it for the long haul. You’re the prize, not the afterthought. 😘

[opinated-user]

LO victim blaming again

please, please, please. whoever ends up reading this post or found this blog by chance, if there is anything at all i can convince you to do, even if you do think that all allegations against LO hold no water, please do not follow the advice of LO on this. this is a terrible idea that has all the potential to get people killed. don't do this. don't listen to this woman because she has no idea what she's talking about. i know that seeing a friend you love and care about being in an abusive relationship is hard, and even more so when this person refuses to leave despite all your good faith advice. i know that feeling. if you absolutely can't handle the situation anymore and is giving you too much distress, then do what you have to do for yourself. keep a reasonable distance if you absolutely must for your own sake and take care of yourself, but please know that leaving an abusive relationship is extremely hard for the victim and they aren't themselves when they're on one. it's one of the hardest things a person can do. you'd think that since LO is the one who keeps insisting was on a abusive relationship that lasted years, she'd know that already, but i guess she's the only victim who deserves understanding and compassion. everyone else just wants to be miserable and wants to be abused. well, she's wrong. more wrong that she has ever been. please, understand this and know that this person doesn't want to "walk to the jaws of death", like LO callously saying there (the fact that she's talking this casually about someone's else life to a love one of that person should tell you everything you need to know). this person probably do love their partner and think things can get better or, i don't know, that the good moments they have together are worth the bad ones. whatever their reasoning is, try to listen to them and offer them a safe space where they know they can come back to when they're ready to leave. i'm not an expert on any of this either, so here are some resources i found and the numbers you can call if you find yourself in a situation like this. https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/help_a_friend/

take care of yourselves, but also try to understand what's actually happening with your friend and where they come from. if you care about them don't cut them off, especially if you do fear there's a genuine risk to their life, because even if they do decide to leave someday they'll need the support then more than ever before. there's too many cases of abuse victims who ended being killed when they tried to leave or were killed after moving out because their abusers tracked them down. if this relationship is as bad as anon believes it to be, the person inside of it probably knows this too on some level. that fear can also be a factor for someone staying on those relationships.

what LO is saying is not "harsh", it's cruel and it will isolate victims even more than what their abuser already did.

[putschki1969]

【2023 LAST】 I Wanted the Final Video to be a Conversation

Hello, this is Hikaru. Thank you for watching! This time, as this is the last video of 2023, I wanted to feel connected with everyone so I asked you submit questions and messages on Instagram. This is a video that answers your questions! Once again, it is a laid-back and casual video 🍀 I've answered all the questions except those that I can't answer on my own! The video ended up being over 50 minutes 😂 Please kill time during the New Year holidays 🙇‍♀️If you have any video suggestions, please leave them in the comment section📝

I loved this so here are some of my highlights┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)―→

What do you do to take care of your throat and vocal health? She always carries lozenges with her and uses a face mask all-year round

Do you take voice training lessons? From time to time, yes. But those lessons are extremely expensive so she can't afford them too often

Please share an episode with Keiko that left a lasting impression! Hikaru gets asked this question a couple of times but she doesn't really come up with any specific story or anecdote. She does however say that being able to perform together again has been really special this year. She also emphasises how Keiko is like a sister to her, a precious senpai/nakama she looks up to.

Any tips on how to distinguish Hikaru's voice from the other two in Kalafina songs with harmony? Hikaru can't really give any advice because for her, her own voice is obviously most noticeable. She asks all fans who listen to a lot of Kalafina to provide some suggestions in the comment section. [LOL, I am surprised there are still so many people who struggle with this]

Any fan messages that have left a lasting impression? Hikaru makes sure to read every letter, message and comment. They all mean a lot to her. But sometimes someone will tell her something along the lines of Hikaru's music having changed their life and of course Hikaru can't help but be incredibly moved by a sentiment like that.

Something she always pays attention to when singing? Never neglect your emotions, they should always shine through.

Are you in love right now? Hikaru obviously thinks that's a decidedly private question but kudos to her for even including it in the video. She wonders if anyone else aside from the person who sent the question would actually want to know about this. In her mind, the person is probably in the minority so she tells people to leave a comment if they really want to know about her love life. Also, she feels like no matter how she answers that question, people would start worrying about her and she would rather not have that happen.

How to take care of your physical health? Exercise to some extent, stick to a balanced diet with lots of protein, do a lot of strength training to build muscle.

Any overseas food that left a lasting impression? Not particularly but she enjoys trying local items at Starbucks or McDonald's whenever she is in another country

What's your ideal type? What stuff did you fight about in previous relationships? Another question about her love life but since it's not really about her current relationship status she tries to answer some of it. Her ideal type is someone who truly values their family and takes care of them. As for fights, Hikaru is a bit vague here on whether this refers to actual past romantic relationships or just all relationships in general but basically, she is not the type to have emotional outbursts or anything so she doesn't really "fight" with people. It depends on someone's definition of a fight though. For her that's everything that can't be resolved through a civil discussion and she personally never lets it get that far.

Will Hikaru do any anisong covers on her YouTube channel? Hikaru struggles with rights and licenses so it's hard to find songs she can sing on her channel but if she does, she will give it a try

What is your ambition for next year? Hold a solo live in a bigger venue.

What are your thoughts on Kalafina's current situation? Wakana, Keiko and herself are all pursuing a solo career so she would be happy if everyone listened to their music and continued to support them [very neutral but precious answer]

I love Keiko! What should I do? Hikaru is a bit baffled that she would get a question like that. She then goes off on a tangent about the difference between "ai" and "koi". The person asking the question is using the word "ai" to describe their love for Keiko but in Hikaru's opinion, "ai" is probably not the correct term here because if you are worrying about what the other person thinks of you and wonder how you should act, it's more likely a case of "koi" instead of "ai" (with "koi" being more frequently used for romantic love whereas "ai" usually refers to a more general concept of love). As for what that person should do, they should definitely support Keiko's activities.

Please share an interesting anecdote from Kaji.Fes? She thought it was special that she got the chance to change her outfit for the final song (into the world) even though ever performer was supposed to only have one outfit. Then, at the after party she was fortunate enough to be seated close to Yuki Kajiura on her table which is how she ended up drinking a bit of alcohol even though she never ever drinks. That was a fun experiences.

Will you be eating mucchan manju in Fukuoka? [This is a local snack in Fukuoka, Wakana has been doing a lot of promotion for it, it's that thingy she eat in Kalafina's 10th Anniversary Live] Hikaru hopes she has time to eat it

Hikaru's Appearance at "26 Hours Music Champ 2023 Winter" Event

Broadcast date : 12/29 20:00 – 12/30 22:00 Platform: Music Champ

Hikaru's part aired on 12/30 (Sat) 16:00-17:00. She had a special Talk Session and then performed at the "SPECIAL DREAM LIVE 2023 Winter" LIVE🎤airing from 17:00 to 21:00 Official HP: http://music-champ.com/26h-winter Line-up/Schedule :https://www.music-champ.com/26h-winter/26h

Tweet 1 | Tweet 2 by Hikaru

[sotwk]

Hi! :) it’s the anon that hasn’t given up on dating yet, I noticed I tend to want to rush relationships, even stressing myself out in the process, like I’m 25yo and I know I should know better lol

I wanted to ask for some advice this time, do you have any advice on taking things slow while dating someone? Or in like just trusting the process without putting pressure on myself? Because I don’t have this problem of being almost abrasive with friendships, it just happens with romantic relationships but maybe it’s because I just started dating people this year so I’m extremely rough around the edges in a romantic sense

Also this is just a quick vent, but a guy came off super strong at first and was taking things pretty fast but when I finally matched his vibe, suddenly things were going too fast for him and he wasn’t ready for a relationship and dipped even though he knew from the start that I was looking for a relationship lol

I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond; I usually try to respond to advice-seeking Asks right away, but August was a bit of a struggle for me!

I'm glad to hear that you haven't given up on dating, and I hope you never do! I'm sure you've gotten sick of hearing this, but 25 is so young! Your 20s are very much the time to figure out what you want and value most in life. I genuinely hope girls don't give in to the pressure to marry right away in their 20s, because a lifelong commitment to a human being is the last thing to be rushed.

Regarding my "advice on taking things slow while dating", my one golden dating tip sounds lame but is straightforward and irrefutable: BE YOURSELF. From everything you have told me in this Ask and in previous Asks, your goal in dating is to find a husband to start a family with. Present your genuine self as much as possible from the start, and expect the same from the guy you are dating. (Unless your intention is to casually date, then much of my advice need not apply; I've personally never been one for casual dating, but it's always sounded like the Wild West.)

It's common and understandable to worry about coming on too strong or too "abrasive" as you said, especially in the "get to know you" stages. But I don't think tamping down your genuine excitement by "playing it cool" ever really works. You're essentially lying about your feelings and important aspects of your personality. What good will that do?

If you're afraid of scaring the guy away, here's the thing: the Right Guy for you will not scare easily. I promise. The Right Guy is the one who will grow only more interested and eager the more he learns about you, which is why you should present him with only truthful things.

How fast or slowly should you share stuff about yourself? However you feel like! If you're honestly comfortable enough with a person to be vulnerable and open up to them right away, then go ahead! Whether a guy can or cannot handle your candor, your passion, or your desire to connect, is something you're better off knowing sooner than later.

Sadly, in this day and age when dating is so difficult and confusing and human connection has deteriorated, guys tend to scare more easily, and I can't say I blame them. However, I repeat: the Right Guy for you will not scare easily. He would be the one matching your pace and enthusiasm for the relationship, if not surpassing it. That experience you spoke of means that guy was just not the Right One, plain and simple. You didn't do anything wrong.

Keep doing as you do. Be Yourself and trust in what you feel when engaging with new acquaintances. I hope I've been helpful or at least encouraging in some way. I wish you lots of luck, fun, and pleasant experiences in this stage of your life. <3

Bonus: If this movie isn't too old for you and assuming you haven't seen it yet, I recommend watching "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"! It's a fun and sweet rom-com, that doesn't take itself too seriously but definitely teaches lessons along the lines of my advice. ;)

[bubbleonice]

Soulmate reading for Henry Cavill

As you all might know, whilst we might have one twinflame, we can have many soulmates. Soulmates don’t neccesarily have to be a lover, it can be a friend, a mentor, a pet, etc. Just wanted to calrify this before I head on to the reading😁

So here we go.

Henry seems to have 4 different soulmates. One who he is connected to through casual flirting. One who is a love connection. One who is not seeing too often and the last one is an ex, someone from his past.

Lets start with number 1:

I dream about you a lot, too much. This is a person who appears in his mind more than they should. He thinks about this person quite often. The energy between them is very lighthearted.

Flirt: they tend to flirt spontanously when together.

Unexpected outcome: things did not go how they planned. Maybe they lost contact, or maybe they did not work out when they wanted to. But something definetely did not work out.

Pay attention to the red flags: eventhough they have a good time their connection is somewhat unhealthy. There are some warning signs that cannot be ignored.

The fool:

This is a connection where you have to weigh the options and the risks.

Number 2:

I just want you all the time: this is a person whom he is passionate about

Give your relationship a chance: this is a relationship worth working on.

Irreplacable: this is quite self explanatory. This person is in Henry’s eyes irreplacable.

Unconditional love: the love between them is eternal. It’s true love.

Queen of swords: this is a person with unbiased judgement and clear boundaries. This person is independent, reasonable, and reliable. While they follow their head over their heart, they are not heartless. If you are friends with this person, don’t expect them to always agree with you.

For physical characteristics, the Queen of Swords as a person represents someone who is disciplined when it comes to taking care of themselves. They take a very practical approach to their physical appearance. This person spends reasonably on clothes, accessories, food, and health-related memberships. If they feel like they’re not benefiting from a gym membership, or not using it frequently enough, they will let go of it.

Aesthetically, they might prefer a timeless and classic look. Because of their impeccable manners, they always dress appropriately for any occasion. Their style is effortless but always on point.

Number 3:

There is someone else: this is a person who has a good eye on Henry but he does not feel the same way back. Though the connection between them is good, he has to choose to set up his boundaries as well as push this person aside for a while.

Seperation: they are apart.

Reminiscing: Henry do miss their inside jokes.

Difficulties: they are best friends but jealousy from others may serve as obstacles to the success of this connection. It can either be someone being jealous of the connection ir this soulmate being jealous of his other connections.

Page of swords: this person does represent some bad qualities though. Deception, manipulation, all talk, devious, gossip.

Number 4:

Wrongful advice: sometimes a soulmate is not someone whi just blindly support you, it can be someone who is teaching you a lesson. This connection looks like it.

Release your ex: this is a toxic energy from an ex that needs to be released.

Forgivesness: Henry might be struggling to put some of the issues from this connection completely behind him.

Make the effort: make the effort to move forward. That’s what he needs to do.

The emperor: this is the energy of someone very stern, in control and disiplined. Their main trait is orderliness. someone who has a very commanding presence. They don’t have to be tall, large, or physically buff. They can be petite and dainty, but something about their aura can be very dominant.

Hope you enjoyed this soulmate reading. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

I hope you enjoy this reading. And please keep in mind that this is done for entertainment purposes only. I use tarotcards and oracle cards actively in my readings, as well as my intuition. Energies come and go, what is relevant for today’s reading might change in a few weeks time. But some aspects will always remain constant and the same. Thank you.❤️

[livingfictionsystem]

So, my adhd/autistic freind has a grandmother with NPD who was extremely abusive towards her family, but i’m worried about my friends ableism towards other people with npd. she’s not met very many but she’s under the very common impression that everyone with npd is an abuser and an asshole, and idk if should get involved because her family was so hurt by someone with npd, but at the same time i’m worried about the way she’d behave if she met another person with npd in the future. do you have any advice?

Oooof.

Sparrow here. I'm sorry about your friend's family, sounds like some real generational trauma going on there.

Anecdotal storytime, sorry if this is rambly.

I did, a couple years ago, have a pretty big grudge against Borderline folks. My most recent abuser, Rowan, had borderline. We were on a pedestal, yknow, until we weren't. Same with my cohost's ex, AJ. A shitty ex-metamor of mine has BPD. I was straight up sick of pwBPD.

I know a lot about psychology but even I had this unfair anecdotal stereotype of someone locking themselves in the bathroom and hating you/needing you until you were stressed enough to give them what they wanted.

I knew *I* had some kinda serious disorder and was looking into bipolar when the highly ironic suggestion of Borderline hit me right in the face. And I mean I was TEXTBOOK, still am. I was in denial for a WHILE. The last thing I wanted was to see any reflection of my abuser in me. And people around me didn't really disparage NPD because they already had Xanthe's glittery, spotlight-hogging, self-aggrandizing self and thought they were p cool, but even people I was close with would take jabs at Bordies and I'd laugh along with them. I kept doing intense research just to prove it wrong in me and ended up proving it more and more right.

Then finally, I saw some positive examples. One of my besties in the outerworld has Borderline. Bojack Horseman, of all things, really helped me accept it in myself. I joined some online support groups. I see how loving we are, how creative, how most of us make fun of our own mood swings and our sui-ideation. How protective we are, how our impulsivity ends up with some really cool experiences and connections.

Now I've accepted it. But it would've been a lot harder of a road if I didn't have positive examples. And yknow Borderline is p much a half sibling to Narcissism.

Xanthe and Jasper were my great examples of NPD. Their hyper-independence, how that manipulative side can be used to talk friends out of spirals or abusive relationships, how they make sure everyone who benefits them has some sort of give-and-take even if they have to pull strings to do it, the intense insecurity and self-loathing under the arrogant facade. And omg are they masters at social chess, which is awesome when my tactless ass is floundering in turmoil and people wanna cancel me by proxy.

It's really only gonna be positive rep that does it for some people. Maybe your friend has a fave character that actually fits the NPD profile. (Alastor from Hazbin gives me NPD vibes p hard tbh.) Tons of creatives have it, like literally being self-absorbed is part of being famous lol. If you've got good examples to work with, it becomes a Lot easier.

Even better if you've got someone willing to poke fun at their disorder and educate. I can also always drop more NPD stories/memes/resources for you to have in your arsenal. And even just educating about other traumagenic disorders like BPD and DID and stuff may help other disorders by proxy, the same logic does apply.

But your friend may never accept it. And that would suck. But people want to blame a set of stereotypes rather than the casual cruelty of the universe. It's up to you whether that becomes a topic that you two just can't talk about or if it ends a friendship tbh.

But yeah sorry for the ramble, I hoped the more raw experience might help the perspective. Lmk if you have any specific scenarios or anything!

-Sparrow 🧷

[captain-kraken]

Blue Blood: Osin & Rujav

Rujav and Osin were on one of the balconies of the Solark castle, relaxing on sun loungers. A low table between them held a lit candle and two bottles of wine – one unopened and the other with less than a third left. There was a small glass ashtray on Osin’s side, currently homing a half-smoked wrap filled with herbs.

It had been a long day, one filled with wedding preparations and other people. It was nice to finally have some time away from everyone else and from being asked questions.

Although, that didn’t last long.

            “So… no Evah?” Osin picked up the wrap, leaning towards the candle to light it.

Rujav sighed, leaning his head back against the sun lounger. “Did you really expect her to come?”

            “Considering it��s her son’s wedding, yes actually.”

            “Well, even that wasn’t important enough for her to get over herself.”

Osin opted to take a deep inhale on the wrap instead of saying anything, knowing better.

Rujav side-eyed him from underneath his sunglasses. “What?”

            “I didn’t say anything!”

            “You didn’t have to. Come on, let me have it.”

Osin wondered how to phrase his thoughts on the matter, without insulting his best friend. “Well… maybe you should, you know… ‘rein it in’ a little bit.”

Rujav groaned. “I knew that’s what you were going to say.”

            “You have to admit that you’ve both gotten rather lax over the past couple of years. If your sons haven’t figured it out yet, they will soon.”

Rujav wasn’t convinced about that as he took a sip of his drink. Sahrav, yes. The other two were far too self-absorbed in their own problems to concern themselves with what Rujav was up to.

            “And I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Osin gave him a pointed look.

            “Fine, fine” muttered Rujav, “I’ll try to be more careful.”

            “Good. You and Mefi are both good friends of mine. I’d hate to lose you both.”

Rujav smiled. “You know, you aren’t exactly careful yourself. I’ve heard the whispers spreading about the things you and Visesha get up to.”

Osin snorted. “Let them. I stopped a war; I can do as I please.”

Every so often, Rujav wondered how the two of them were such good friends. They were different in so many ways, right down to the element that ruled their blood.

Even when it came to romance, the two of them had very different ideas of happiness.

Rujav saw his own capability to love as just a cup. He only had enough to give his heart and body to one person at a time, which would have been perfect for his marriage… had he been interested in women.

Meanwhile, Osin’s love was more like a jug. One capable of filling multiple cups at a time, without any relationship being any less meaningful or fulfilling. He had no qualms over the casualness of sex and enjoyed a wide variety of exploits, with or without Visesha (and vice versa).

Neither of them judged the other for the way they were, they had no reason to. It did make things a little difficult when it came to talking about relationships, as they weren’t able to offer much advice to the other, but they enjoyed the conversations nonetheless.

It had been Osin who introduced Rujav and Mefi in the first place. He said otherwise these days, but at the time he’d had no idea how much the two of them would end up falling for each other. He was glad though, to see his old friend happy.

He knew he’d be able to find someone for Evah too, if only she’d allow him. She’d rejected his offer enough times that he’d finally given in, telling her that the offer was always there.

He understood though. He couldn’t even bear to imagine how it must feel to lose someone that you loved with all that you had.

Still, he couldn’t believe that she was missing her son’s wedding.

[taocastleprincess]

i’m speaking specifically about anonymous adult-child interactions/relationships on social media sites. i’m a licensed literacy interventionist and i currently work in education policy— i know that not every adult is a predator and that some of us function as mentors, teachers, and even first friends to children/teens. so i won’t comment on real-world interactions because that was not what i was referring to. my professional and personal success is, in part, due to the overwhelming support and love of adults, irl and online, in my life. however, i don’t have any problem putting aside my personal experience to recognize an objective problem.

that being said, there is very little reason for adults to knowingly seek out children on the internet for casual conversation and intervention. can there be good that comes out of these interactions? i know from personal experience on internet forums in the early 00s that this is possible and some of my favorite memories are being helped by and cared for by adult mods and even regular adult users. but, again, these adults were not seeking me out and they very rarely left their usual (forum) haunts to engage with users they knew were children.

i’ve also worked at a non-profit that specifically works with teens in under-served areas and gives them a recreational space to connect with teens from similar backgrounds and grants them job/internship opportunities in their preferred field of study… the unfortunate amount of teens who have come to us having admitted to being groomed or interacted with inappropriately in some way by an anonymous adult online is concerning. the last part of my tag— the 80% comment— was hyperbole and was made offhandedly while watching tv but like i said, the general statement stands.

there are few reasons for adults online to seek and/or form relationships with anonymous minors online that are not sinister or creepy in some way, shape, or form. that is the behavior i’m referring to based on what i read in the tags and quotes— not adults offering one-time advice/care in passing online.

my comment was sincere, i’m glad your experiences online as minors interacting w adults was mostly positive. that doesn’t change what the data tells us, though. will never forget going to training for a youth-focused program and reading that almost 50% of minors report having uncomfortable interactions with anonymous adult users across major social media platforms (twitter/snapchat/instagram/etc.) this was based on data collected by leading researchers. i wish i could remember the source so it doesn’t just sound like i’m talking out of my ass but it is what it is.

the internet landscape is changing all the time and while those figures may have fluctuated (either positively or negatively) since then, adults should always err on the side of caution when interacting online with minors and even people who are secretive about their age online. the average adult doesn’t really have any business engaging in a relationship of any kind with an anonymous minor. we can discuss extreme exceptions and positive influences but even if we’re being generous, even smaller-scale studies are telling us that that is not the case a lot of the time.

im not interested in going back-and-forth, this is the most i’ve written on tumblr in several years, i just wanted to clarify my thoughts and defend my position. if we want we can amend my hyperbolic statement to “50% of the time,” if that makes you feel better.

yes, children do need caring and loving adults to succeed in this life. i’m sure that most people are not running around screaming “adults can never interact with minors ever at all” and the few who do are probably aware there are exceptions. the exceptions aren’t the rule tho, unfortunately, and too many adults are already using the guise of mentorship and taking advantage of children’s situations to prey on them (whether that’s emotional, sexual, spiritual, or otherwise.)

Sometimes when people on the Internet are like "ADULTS CAN NEVER INTERACT WITH MINORS IT'S CREEPY" I remember how, at 12, back in 1997, I was on the Witchvox forums with people ranging from me to people in at least their 50s, and no one there was ever a creep to me, no one ever made me feel uncomfortable or asked for my personal info, and when I finally broke down after a particularly brutal day of bullying at school and posted about it they were the first adults I'd ever met in my entire life who told me the bullies were the problem and it was okay to be angry about it.

Kids need to interact with adults who will listen to them.

[seafoamchild]

december 19th

it's chilly and dark. two days until solstice and then the days will finally start getting longer. the other day it was sunny and i went to the park to stand there and absorb sunlight, like a plant.

i stopped taking lexapro. i'm not totally sure why to be honest, i just felt like it was time. i felt brain zaps for a couple days, like little electric currents inside my head. and i felt weirdly dissociated as if i were on a different plane of existence. it was incredibly odd. but i feel better now and i hope i don't get super depressed or something. i still have mood swings and intense irritability, which i hate so much. i have a lot of anger in me, i think. i get frustrated with myself so easily. like how i can never seem to leave the house on time and how i always forget something, and how i'm so disorganized and chaotic and clumsy. i want to get an ADHD diagnosis just for validation, but it seems like doing so is a cumbersome process. and honestly what good will it do? this is how i am and i have to try and make the best of it.

i can't stop thinking about what i'm gonna do next. i don't love where i'm at, but i think i need to start looking at it differently. instead of "you're failing because you're bartending at a stupid restaurant" i think maybe i need to remember that i'm supporting myself, and i'm meeting quite a lot of interesting people at my job. people who want to help me - whether it's through career advice or giving me generous tips. one of the regulars got me a $100 gift card to an italian restaurant. i think that's pretty special. although it's true that i'm sick of working weekends and holidays and not getting PTO and never knowing how much money i'm gonna make, i still have so much going for me in my day-to-day. i've made friends through bumble BFF - like actual friends who want to catch up and do stuff together. i always pictured "networking" as some kind of business casual conference room event full of insufferable social climbers and finance bros and other people who have never worked in retail or service in their life trying to upsell their personal brand - but networking has turned about to be making connections in general with friends, coworkers, customers, neighbors, and the like. and new york city is amazing because everyone seems to be willing to connect. people want to help you out with their own personal insight. i've never lived anywhere like this, where it seems like there's a real sense of solidarity in the air. people know living here can be tough, and strangers are willing to help you out. and it's much more "neighborhood-y" than other cities, i think, because it's walkable and people don't just get in their cars to drive everywhere. they walk past the same places, go to the same delis, run into the same people.

i think i'm exactly where i need to be. new york city is so much more my speed than milwaukee ever was, but i did feel my first pang of homesickness yesterday. i think it's because the holidays are coming up. but it was just that, a pang. nothing lasting. i know this is where i should be now, and there are many very good reasons why i left wisconsin. i still think about all the places i want to go - mostly wilderness-adjacent places out west - but i try to remind myself that i don't need to do it all right now, and planning trips is a big way i distract myself from the present moment, so i need to resist the urge for a little while, at least.

look how far i've come though. i'm proud of myself for creating a life that suits me. so many people never do. all the relationships i've gone through and set aside to get to this point. i think about sam, who i thought was so mature because he was three years older than me, but he was really just insecure and needed physical validation to the point that he was willing to break my trust to get it (from an ex, no less!). i think about luke, who was so attractive to me - not just physically, but something about his coldness, his "mysterious-ness", his inner world of deep thoughts, his appreciation for nature and the outdoors. he intrigued me endlessly in so many ways, but at the end of the day he was an immature, kind of douchey, socially inept dude whose good looks prevented him from developing a magnetic personality or a good sense of humor. he did tell me once, with a hint of jealousy i think, that i was a very powerful person. meaning that i make things happen and i draw people in. i took that to heart. and to be honest, i do feel powerful sometimes when i reflect on all that i've done.

i feel bad for taking out a lot of my frustration lately on T. it comes out of nowhere sometimes. i feel so bad for snapping at him. i don't quite understand what makes me so mad but i think i'm mostly mad at myself. there's always something to figure out.

[suitillustrated]

Top Vancouver Personal Stylist Services to Elevate Your Style

The Importance of Personal Styling in Vancouver

Looking your best in the busy, stylish city of Vancouver is about expressing your own character via your clothes, not only about following the newest trends. A Vancouver Personal Stylist will assist you confidently negotiate the always shifting fashion scene so that your style is both modern and very uniquely yours. Whether your wardrobe needs a style update, you're getting ready for a particular event, or you're ready for a job change, the correct Vancouver personal stylist may make all the difference in your look.

A Vancouver personal stylist goes beyond just fashion knowledge. They provide a customized service fit for your body type, lifestyle, and particular demand. This is about choosing a wardrobe that accentuates your daily life and fits your personality, not only about choosing clothes. Vancouver's personal stylists are skilled in knowing the subtleties of fashion and how they relate to unique people. Whether your style is professional, elegant, or casual, they can assist you find fresh looks that complement your objectives.

A Vancouver Personal Stylist provides one of main services—a customized wardrobe advice. This entails closely examining your present wardrobe to find items that fit you both generally and specifically. The stylist will then offer ideas for what to keep, give, and add to your collection. This technique guarantees that every item of clothes in your closet is something you actually enjoy wearing and fulfills a function.

Shopping in a city as varied as Vancouver may occasionally be taxing. Now enter the Vancouver Personal Shopper, a professional that chooses a range of products that meet your style and needs to help you to relax when shopping. Vancouver's personal shopper will accompany you to several stores or shops on your behalf, choosing items that fit the newest fashion trends and update your wardrobe. Those with hectic schedules or those who find shopping to be a difficult chore may find great use for this service.

Why Choose a Vancouver Personal Stylist?

Hiring a Vancouver personal stylist is an investment in oneself, not only a means of following trends. Your appearance greatly influences how others view you, hence having a neat, coherent style will help you to increase your confidence and create new chances. You should give working with a personal stylist in Vancouver some thought for the following reasons:

Unmatched in degree of tailored care, a Vancouver personal stylist provides They invest time to learn about you, your style choices, and way of life. This customized method guarantees that the styling guidance you get is especially suited to you, not a generic fix. When selecting your wardrobe, your stylist will take into account your daily activities and long-term objectives as well as your body type and colour preferences.

Working with a Vancouver Personal Shopper allows one to acquire unique fashion findings among other benefits. Many personal stylists have relationships with designers and boutiques so they may locate unusual items you might not be able to obtain on your own. Your personal shopper will select things that exactly fit your needs whether your search is for a statement item to finish an outfit or a flexible staple that will last years.

Time is a luxury in the hectic modern world. By organizing the process of shopping, a Vancouver personal shopper saves time. While your personal shopper creates a wardrobe that fits your style and satisfies your demands, you may concentrate on other vital areas of your life instead of spending hours in stores or surfing internet. Professionals who have to look their best but lack the time to follow the newest fashion trends will find this service very helpful.

Top Services Offered by Vancouver Personal Stylists

Many Vancouver Personal Stylists today provide virtual styling sessions as digital technology has grown. From the convenience of your house, this service lets you get professional fashion advise. Your stylist will go over your closet, offer new outfit ideas, and purchasing advice during a virtual session. For people who do not have the time or means to meet personally but still want to gain from expert styling services, this is a great choice.

Dressing for a wedding, gala, or corporate function can be challenging. By helping you choose the ideal attire for any occasion, a Vancouver personal stylist may help to relieve some of the burden. They will take location, dress code, and your own style into account to produce an outfit that is both fitting and amazing. Knowing you look your best can help you enter any event confident.

How to Choose the Right Vancouver Personal Stylist

Ensuring the greatest service available depends on choosing the correct personal stylist in Vancouver. These guidelines can help you decide which stylist best fits you:

One should take experience and skills of a Vancouver Personal Stylist under consideration while looking for one. Look for a stylist that can offer references or testimonies from prior clients and has a proven success record. This will inspire you knowing they possess the knowledge and abilities to assist you in reaching your fashion objectives.

Although a stylist will try to improve your own look, it's also crucial that their own style complements yours. To understand their aesthetic, look over their portfolio or social media accounts. This will help to guarantee that their fashion vision fits your own tastes.

See a Vancouver Personal Stylist to talk over your objectives and goals before committing. This encounter will let you find out whether you feel at ease with the stylist and whether they grasp your needs. A professional stylist will hear your worries, provide helpful criticism, and design a schedule fit for your style goals.

Conclusion

In a city as energetic and fashion-forward as Vancouver, you really must look professional and coordinated. From tailored wardrobe advice to time-saving shopping experiences, a Vancouver Personal Stylist provides a spectrum of services meant to improve your style. Investing in these procedures not only improves your look but also gives you confidence and opens fresh doors. Working with a Vancouver Personal Shopper or Stylist will make all the difference whether your goal is a comprehensive wardrobe make-over or just a few key pieces to update your appearance.

[alyjojo]

Family Ties ⛪️ - May 2024 - Pisces

Overall Energy: Knight of Pentacles

You may have left your family behind, or that could be advice - whether entirely or certain people only you would know. You’ve dealt with a lot of bs for a very long time, and are now or recently been inspired to just break free. Loosen the shackles, free yourself from a self-imposed (or actual in some cases) prison and move away from however you’re being affected. Some need to. For maybe one person, you may have been separated from family for a long time because you or they were actually in jail. But besides that, Knight of Pentacles is a very detailed, hardworking, practical and reliable energy, and all of the cards I’m seeing of generosity and support are giving that you’ve gone above and beyond countless times for some that don’t deserve it, or aren’t appreciative.

Mother: 5 Pentacles & Ace of Swords rev

Oracle: Enthusiasm 🥳 - Sun Sagittarius

Heavy Sag energy with Mom, could be literal or not. She’s an upbeat person who looks at the bright side of things, and she can be a lot of fun or heavily focused on fun - but she’s unreliable as hell. And you’re Knight of Pentacles, planning, persistent, even “boring” sometimes but when you say you’re gonna show up no one need question it. Probably because Mom is the polar opposite. BIG dreams. BIG ideas. Very little follow-through. There is a long history of abandonment here, in and out of your life, telling you she’ll do things she never does, confusing you on how and why this happened or that did - she’s full of excuses basically, if she even offers one. A last minute switcher-upper, things never go according to plan because there *is* no plan. You plan, and with your personality it’s easy to see how this would have a negative effect on you - where other more casual people probably embrace a personality like hers. She’s not mean, she’s just full of shit, but that hurts when it’s Mom. Ace of Swords rev shows she has a tendency to leave you hanging and not offering any explanation, not even bringing it up or addressing it, not taking any accountability (um that’s not fun hello), and/or flat out lying to you. Skimming the surface of things - immature energy. Enthusiasm seems to be what you have in common, and Recycle is like…taking these lessons and experiences, and applying them to your own life. Good and bad. Keep the good, the fun, and make a plan, then actually do it. I do get her having a positive influence on you even with abandonment - which is where the wound lies. You may not be leaving her at all, it was her that decided on a whim to live off the land in Africa and it’s been 5 years. Cool for some, but not to you 💯

Father: 3 Pentacles, 10 Pentacles & Death

Oracle: Indecision 🥴 - Venus Libra

51 Time

Time can be seen to be linear and a spiral - circular back to explore concepts from the past and create the future.

48 Play

Our work can and should take on the quality of play, for it is play that stimulates creativity.

Yeesh. Dad shows up as King of Wands rev with The Lovers rev, could definitely be a player. Too many people involved in the connection ended the relationship with Mom, but I’m also hearing “countless others” as well, so he’s been around the block a time or two. It’s being shown as he’s been given chance after chance to have something wholesome, real, long-lasting, and he just…ends it. Does something to end it. Player gonna play. He may have not been financially involved in your life very much - or that’s his only role. The “provider” that does his job but that’s all this is - a transaction, a job, fatherhood being more of a financial burden to bear than something to see as a long lasting legacy, what matters most. He’s got his priorities all askew. King of Pentacles rev may be using people for money or dating people with that intention, or switch it. Worth is what is given tangibly. The behavior is very selfish, haughty, controlling, greedy. My way or the highway. Titles, jobs, material bs, superficial things, that’s what matters to him. All the more reason you turned out to be Knight of Pentacles, someone has to show up and do the damn thing, you were taught to (controlled to), so you did/have/are. There is a note here about this changing with time, or you’ll understand him more with time, and he will also understand you. Omg I’m hearing a song now and it’s gonna make me cry, how dare you - I’ll put it at the end. No songs till the mutables and you all have me musical, I did not expect that for the family reads.

Siblings: 7 Swords & 6 Wands rev

Oracle: Affair 😍 - Venus Leo

18 Start

You must start from where you are, examine your situation, and take a chance.

A snake 🐍 I’m just seeing one, could be more but it’s the one you have issues with and they’re snakey. Could be a player themselves, not that you care, but this person could go through partners and lives like they do underwear. Every day is someone new, some new obsession, omg meet Jeremy he collects rocks, I’m so obsessed with rocks now (has never given af about a rock in their life). There’s a joke on How I Met Your Mother (I think?) about temporary people being in the holiday photos, like can we not? And that’s what I’m getting with this person. They lie like a rug, they’re never around or always making up excuses (sound familiar?), they could even steal from you? Or have before. If someone is in jail - could be them, or it’s happened. They get with new people and start whole new lives, letting the wind blow them wherever, until the next life in…a week.

With the snakey energy, it’s also possible a parent had a child with a Lover outside of this connection - before or after doesn’t matter, and you’re not invited to their holiday gatherings or whatever, maybe switch it, you avoid each other like the plague because of some kind of drama that’s neither of your problem. But you still pick sides. If you have siblings, you may as well not with how much you don’t talk or see each other.

Grandparents: 5 Swords & Ace of Cups rev

Oracle: Companionship 🤝 - Moon Libra

79 Success

Enjoying your life and the unfolding of your creative abilities as much as possible is real success.

Bruh. One thing I’ve noticed is there’s not one damn cup out here - except for the Ace of Cups, which is reversed and spilling out all over the table. No emotions, no depth, no meaning, and you’re a Pisces? You show up with earth and practical thinking/actions, but where do your emotions come in? I’m guessing you’ve had a whole life of people telling you you’re too sensitive - because they’re all impulsive robots or something. You’ve learned the language like a robot mask, because Knight of Pentacles is not your energy at all, in fact it’s the polar opposite (Virgo) 💯

Grandma is...no cups. I’m getting a real snide, catty, downright bitchy vibe from her. She’s not affectionate whatsoever and if anything she’s got a lot to say about everything she hates. About everything. Not a good vibe at all. And she may be your best relationship! But is it? Pisces can tend to see things how they want them to be, how they *could* be, and I don’t even see that here honestly - Knight of Pentacles isn’t super thin-skinned, he gets the job done and probably ignores most of the drama. For a long time.

More than anything, I’m getting that Grandma doesn’t get along with your parents - either, definitely their own, or the opposite, if it’s Dad’s mom he can do no wrong and Mom is the literal Devil who she has nothing nice to say about. There’s no real affection here, not even with you that I can see. Or if there was a lover or a “new spouse”, they can’t stand that person. Similarly to Dad though, I am seeing that it’s possible to overcome this - when you are you. Not people pleasing, not showing up because it’s expected, but doing the things that truly make you YOU. Crafts, love, your job, your life, Grandma seeing you for all you are may help her separate you from your parents or anything else she has a domineering, narrow-minded or stuck & bratty way of seeing things with. Everything, but especially you, and she will come to respect you in time. Maybe even love. You being peaceful works well with her, you may be the only one that can.

Spiritual Ancestors/Guides: The World & Strength

Oracle: Charity 🤲 - Saturn Cancer

39 Direction

Switch gears, reboot, and try a different direction.

I’m getting a lot with imagery here, and that’s rare for me unless it’s called out in an obvious way. Well it is, Saturn Cancer is showing where you come from being one of the hardest things you’ve overcome; your family being some of the hardest relationships you’ve had to navigate. Family IS discipline, it is limits, it’s work. This card mirrors the message Spirit is giving you, this will end. The World is an end to all that’s being described, all of the drama, all of the bs. You need to move away from this and be done with it - at least in this way, for some entirely though. 3 Pentacles rev and Queen of Cups rev (again, a cups, reversed) is showing not to work with these people and you don’t actually owe them shit. What do they do for you except siphoning out your energy, empathy, loyalty, and dump them all over the ground like these things are replaceable, or it’s just a never-ending source they can feed off of. “Energy vampires.” You are not to feel guilty, guilty for what? Knight of Pentacles shows it’s been long enough, you’ve done more than enough. So long as there is manipulation, guilt trips, toxic behavior, a lack of giving as much as taking or expecting, it’s a nope from you - it needs to be.

Saturn Cancer, on the card the woman is protecting her children in her arms, shielding them from angels in the sky - that look like they’re out to snatch them away. Vultures. The Direction card has the same vibe, and it came out art up for this reason. It’s a bird pulling a girl away from a situation by her shirt/dress, like “you’ve got to go” and it feels protective. For your own sake, pay attention to how people make you feel, and then feel secure enough in your own personal autonomy to decide what is and is not in your best interest going forward. Releasing yourself is already on your mind, and if you’ve done it already, this whole reading is validation. The two I see changing over time are Dad and Grandma…but that’s a wait and see right? Maybe. You need a complete end, break, cycle of life away from any/all of this. Worry about YOU, work for you, act for you, decide for you 💯🤗

[rmrkbl-marketing]

Effective Networking for Small Business Owners

Introduction

Networking is not just a skill; it's an art that small business owners should master to expand personal connections and enhance their professional development. In this guide, we'll explore the details of effective networking, providing strategies to elevate your networking game. Our mission is to equip you with the tools needed to outperform competitors and establish a robust online presence.

Unpacking the Essence of Networking

Networking, at its core, is the strategic process of building relationships and making connections for social or professional advancement. Its manifestations range from casual conversations to structured industry conferences. For small business owners, mastering the art of networking is essential, as it offers avenues to increase brand awareness, attract new customers, build a diverse talent network, gain industry insights, and foster invaluable peer support.

The Strategic Significance of Networking

The benefits of networking extend far beyond occasional job searches; for small business owners, networking is a continuous effort to raise brand awareness, reach new audiences, and stay ahead of industry trends. Let's delve into the specific advantages that effective networking can bring:

1. Increased Brand Awareness

Establishing new connections broadens your audience, fostering recognition and support within key demographics. It's a powerful tool for amplifying your brand’s presence.

2. New Customers

Connections forged through networking can evolve into potential clients or valuable referral sources, sustaining and growing your business.

3. Larger Talent Network

Building relationships in the professional realm facilitates the hiring process. It provides a shortcut, enabling you to approach individuals in your network who match the skill sets and career goals needed for your team.

4. Industry Insights

Networking within your industry keeps you informed about changes, trends, and gives you access to expertise. It's a valuable resource for gaining a competitive advantage in a dynamic business landscape.

5. Peer Support

Running a small business can be challenging and lonely, especially for solopreneurs. Building relationships with other business owners allows you to seek guidance, share experiences, and find validation and support during tough times.

Navigating the Networking Landscape: 8 Key Tips

Effective networking is not a mysterious art form; it's a set of skills that can be honed with practice. Let's explore them in detail:

1. Be Prepared

Success often hinges on preparation. Before diving into a networking event, consider talking points, set goals, conduct reconnaissance on attendees, and practice your networking skills with friends and family.

2. Arrive Early

Being among the first at an event allows you to ease into the environment, fostering small group conversations and establishing early connections. It sets the stage for a more relaxed and productive networking experience.

3. Always Be Networking

Networking opportunities are everywhere, not just at formal events. Skilled networkers build connections in various contexts, contributing to overall business success. Be open to building relationships at your local coffee shop, during a flight, or even when catching up with old friends.

4. Build Your Personal Brand

Multiple touchpoints are needed to build relationships. Elevate your personal and professional profile through blog posts, newsletters, podcasts, or panels. These strategies refine your talking points and increase the likelihood that your new connections will encounter your name multiple times.

5. Be a Giver

Offering help generates goodwill and fosters reciprocity, leading the way to strong and mutually beneficial relationships. Whether it's making helpful introductions or offering advice, being a giver enhances your reputation and builds lasting connections.

6. Ask for Help

Don't be afraid to make requests. Research shows that people tend to underestimate others' desire to help. Making a request builds trust and vulnerability, leading to stronger connections.

7. Be Yourself

Authenticity is valued in today's professional environment. Embrace your quirks and let your true self shine while networking. A recent Harvard study found that authenticity decreases anxiety, improves performance, and increases your odds of making a lasting impression.

8. Follow Up

After every connection, follow up with a personalized message. This step is often overlooked but is crucial for solidifying the relationship and opening doors for future collaboration.

Bonus Tip: The Firm Handshake

A firm handshake remains a timeless piece of advice. It signifies professionalism and leaves a lasting impression. Stand tall, smile, make eye contact, and match your partner's level of pressure.

In Conclusion

Effective networking is not just a skill; it's a set of strategies that contribute to the success of small business owners. With careful preparation, proactive engagement, and a commitment to authenticity, you can navigate the networking landscape with confidence, building meaningful connections that propel your business to new heights. Taking a proactive approach to networking is not just a business strategy—it's a pathway to continuous success.

Your journey toward mastering networking begins here, armed with the tools to lead you to unparalleled success in building lasting connections!

FAQs

Questions

Answers

How Can I Overcome Networking Anxiety?

Networking anxiety is common but can be managed with preparation and a positive mindset. Focus on the value you bring, set realistic expectations, and practice active listening to ease into conversations.

Is Networking Only Beneficial for Business Owners in Urban Areas?

No, networking is valuable regardless of location. Urban areas might have more events, but virtual networking is a powerful tool. Online platforms allow connections with professionals globally, keeping you engaged with your industry.

What Should I Do If I Don't Have a Business Card?

If you don’t have a business card, use a digital alternative like a virtual business card or a LinkedIn profile. The goal is to facilitate easy exchange of contact information.

How Can Introverts Succeed in Networking?

Introverts can succeed by setting realistic goals for connections, choosing smaller events, and focusing on meaningful conversations. Online networking is also a great option for more controlled interactions.

Is It Advisable to Connect with Competitors in Networking Events?

Yes, connecting with competitors can be beneficial. It can lead to collaboration, partnership opportunities, and insights into industry trends. Approach these connections with an open mind and focus on mutual growth.

What to Bring to a Networking Event?

Essential items include business cards, a brochure or one-pager, breath mints, a pen and notepad, your elevator pitch, prepared small talk topics, and a list of questions.

How to Listen Actively?

Active listening involves making eye contact, avoiding pre-planned responses, nodding, smiling, and asking questions during natural pauses in the conversation.

Should You Attend Only Industry-Specific Events?

No, attending events outside your industry can broaden your network, elevate your brand, and keep you informed about cross-industry trends that may impact your business.